ROC Choppers Podcast: Recent Episodes
Paul
RIP Loby! Sal made it further than any of the other newbies, but suffered from having almost no FAAB for the past several weeks. He was an avid trader, an active participant, and he'll be one to watch out for next year. I met Sal through Ricky, but now I know him through this!
This episode has an off-the-cuff recap, interview with Sal Lobello, then his chop song. I think I mention myself picking up Kamara at some point but I think I was thinking of Zeke. Idk.
The more songs I do the more respect I gain for these vocalists.
Guillotine (Everlong)
Hello
I've waited here for you
Guillotine
Tonight I got myself the chop
and out of the league
off with my head
it says
Chop chop chop chop chop chop chop
Chop chop chop chop chop chop chop
Chop chop chop chop
Chop chop chop chop chop chop chop
Come down and waste away with me
Down with me
Not how I wanted it to be
Off with my head
Off with my head, it says
And I wonder
If Jackson had made it through
If anyone would even get me through to next week
If anyone would even score the points I need
The only thing I'll ever ask of them
You've got to promise not to stop at only ten
It says
Chop chop chop chop chop chop chop
Chop chop chop chop chop chop chop
Chop chop chop chop
Chop chop chop chop chop chop chop
With Lamar out
McCaffrey had almost
30 points
And now
Kamara was a ghost
He needed to score
Just thirty more, I said
And I wonder
When I think about this week
If getting chopped is gonna feel this bad forever?
If anything is gonna feel ok again?
The only thing I really want to do
Is see the Forty-Niners win the Super bowl
I said
[whispered]
Why did I stick with Lamar after he was underperforming for 5 out of 7 weeks? Didn't even have any big games since week 2 and 3. And why did I spend $253 on him? I only had like 400 left to spend anyway and I spent 79 of it on Alvin Kamara. I could have gotten Zeke for like 42. And then I spent 501 on Ja'Marr Chase in week 3! I could have just saved that money for Travis Kelce, could you imagine having Travis Kelce? But I needed Ja'Marr Chase! And then he went down to injury
And I wonder
If any league could ever be this good or better
If any league could ever be this fun again
The only thing I'll ever ask of you
You've got to promise not to ever stop this league
Source: LyricFind
Original Songwriter: David Grohl
Full description coming later
Enjoy the unedited interview maybe i'll edit it later
good luck today
Lyrics need a lil touch up
End of the Road
[spoken]
You know I belong in the finals
I don't wanna see you bidding on my team like this
I'll get it next year
You just wait
I belong in the finals
And you know that I'm right
Why did I change up my lineup
I do this every time
Thought I'd make it further
Thought score so high
How could you set such good lineups and hang me
Out to dry?
When I can't check my score
Cuz I know it's not more
And each time I try
I just break down and cry
Chopped off my head
oh it came down like lead
Spinning around and around
Although I've come
to the end of the road
Still I can't let go
Feels impossible
That I got the chop
I had done so well
Chopped
and my team is gone
still it feels so wrong
it makes me so sad
that the guillotine
came for me not you
Sal, I know it should have been you
you just played the right guys
You've never done this before
It's only your first time
Maybe you will make it
Maybe you won't
Maybe you'll get chopped by two points like I did
I hope so
If I just left my team like I had it before
I wouldn't have had the weeks lowest score
This time instead
Would not be my head
But someone else chopped on the floor
Although I've come
to the end of the road
Still I can't let go
Feels impossible
That I got the chop
I had done so well
Chopped
and my team is gone
still it feels so wrong
it makes me so sad
that the guillotine
came for me not you
Man, look at this lineup
.... Lineup rant
Next time instead I'll just use my head
And stick with the names that I know
Although I've come
to the end of the road
Still I can't let go
Feels impossible
That I got the chop
I had done so well
Chopped
and my team is gone
still it feels so wrong
it makes me so sad
that the guillotine
came for me not you
Although I've come
to the end of the road
Still I can't let go
Feels impossible
That I got the chop
I had done so well
Chopped
and my team is gone
still it feels so wrong
it makes me so sad
that the guillotine
came for me not you
The blade has come for me at last. The silver lining is that writing my own chop song was extra fun.
Enjoy the episode. Some weekly recap, a self interview, then a cover of "My Way" as performed by Frank Sinatra.
(I Got Chopped) My Way
And now the end is here
And so I set my final lineup
My friends, we've had a year
It seems I've used all of my time up
I've played it like a fool
I rostered each and every hype train
So now although I'm chopped
I did it my way
Regrets, I've had a few
I didn't bid enough on AJ
I thought I'd make it through
With Dalvin Cook and Chris Olave
I planned receiver depth
Metcalf and Evans had their bye week
And now although I'm chopped
I did it my way
Yes in the end I'm sure you knew
Just three points would have got me through
Before the game, I had some doubt
Put Toney in, took Palmer out
I watched Josh score, and score once more, but none went myyyyy way
I've bid on all these guys
I've had no skill, no luck in choosing
The one who will surprise
And keep my team away from losing
To think I had Kmet
When I could have spent on Kelce
I'm chopped and it's because
I did it my way
For what is a man, what has he got
If not his team, then he has naught
Should play the ones in which he trusts
And not the ones who boom or bust
The record shows I poorly chose
and did it my way
I got chopped my way
Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Paul Anka / Claude Francois / Jacques Revaux / Gilles Thibault
My Way lyrics © Jeune Musique Ed., Barclay Eddie Nouvelles Editions, Chrysalis Standards Inc
Quick pod today! Rather proud of the song though. Ben Folds is an old fav.
Chris Brown, Part 2
Chris sits alone at his volleyball game
There's a chance he gets chopped if AJ brown busts
He's had some good games and he's put up some numbers
Games that have got him through to week 10
Seven more points was all that he needed
Two ankle sprains got in the way
And I'm sorry, Mr. Brown, it's time
There was no reason to bench Dalton Schultz
If the player you play in his place is Adam Trautman
No one is left here who's saved as much FAAB
He can't spend it now he saved it in vain
in the guillotine league if you don't make the cut
you get chopped someone else can move on
And I'm sorry Mr Brown It's Time
Raheem would have saved this whole week
but he'd have to be nuts to bench Cooper Kupp Deebo Samuel or Brown
Chris gets his phone out, and looks at the scoreboard, projected to lose
although the game's not over he knows it is
he knows what his fate is
He puts down his phone, and he lays down and cries
Yeah And all of these bastards have taken his players
He's chopped and his team is gone
And I'm sorry Mr Brown It's Time
RIP Team Rob, another victim of a brutal bye week.
Here's the Google Doc of the scores I was talking about
This week's song is inspired by "Whole Life" by Perfume Genius. If you click thru you can see the cover art, which I combined with Rob's photo for the album artwork using a face swap app. turned out better than I thought it would.
Whole Team
Half of my whole team's on bye
Almost played them anyway
It was just the team I had
It was just a dream
Half of my whole team scored none
Did much better in week 8
It was just the team I had
It was just a dream
Stefon and Saquon
both got me this far
they both were off and
my whole team fell apart
Outscored by a hundred
Now I get chopped
All of my whole team is gone
Hit the waivers right away
Prescott, Barkley, Davis, Diggs, and Lamb
In slow motion I leave them behind
RIP Sam, aka Wild Card!
No weekly recap, didn't get my brain together enough. Check out the Fantasy Footballer's podcast if you want concise and profesh info.
I fiddled around with my keyboard and came up with a rather silly intro that for whatever reason I had playing while I recorded the intro so it kind of bled through. Also still figuring out how to have less mouth noises and breaths. This is all way TMI for the episode description.
Sam and I had a chat via zoom today, and I managed a song that honestly was a lot tricker to sing RIGHT from the get go than I thought it would be. I pitched it down a few and I think I managed alright once I got past the first chorus. Also I said roster instead of team in the episode. So it goes.
The song is based on "My Body is a Cage" by Arcade fire.
My Team is Full of Duds
My team is full of duds
That keep me from gettin' to another week
In the guillotine league
My team is full of duds
That keep me from gettin' to another week
In the guillotine league
I drafted total studs
In rounds one one and two
But they both had byes
much to my demise
My team is full of duds
That keep me from getting to another week
In the guillotine league
Now I'm gonna be
Chopped from the league
I drafted Kelce first
He kept me afloat
Over 500 yards
but his bye week hit hard
Kirk Cousins wasn't bad
but 25 points
isn't saving my season
when my team scores so low
My team is full of duds
That keep me from getting to another week
In the guillotine league
Now I'm going to be
Chopped from the league
My team is full of
I'm thinking of week five
the week I was winning
Just because Hill and Kelce
both went off for like thirty
I'm thinking if I'd paid
to get Tyreek Hill
I would have gone a little further
But I'd have no more FAAB
I'm thinking that perhaps
If I draft Rob Gronkowski
I should really check
to see he's not retired
Now I'm gonna be
Chopped from the league
Set my tight ends free
Set my QBs free e e
Set my wideouts free
Set my runners free e e WOO
Set my roster free
Set my players free ohhhh ohhh ohh ohh
Week 7 recap, FAAB recap, a few words from Bailey, then an extra spooky and silly song. Hope you like the artwork, there were more to choose from. Honestly choosing the artwork was one of the hardest parts this week.
Good luck in week 8!
Spooky Scary Guillotines
Spooky, scary guillotines
Will chop you from the league
Score too low and out you go
Pack your things and leave
Spooky, scary guillotines
no one's really safe
You watch the games through squinted eyes
and you hope to make week eight
Bailey didn't change a thing when players had their byes
She somehow made it through last week, (but now this week she dies)
Oh spooky scary guillotines
Have come for her at last
If she'd put Curtis Samuel in
She would have just snuck past
instrumental/oohs and ahs
Didn't spend a dime of FAAB to spruce her roster up
She took a thousand to the grave, I'm so incredulous
Spooky Scary Guillotines
Will thin the herd each week
until there's only one team left
untarnished by defeat
Weight and Blade will chop your head
the first week that you lose
Spooky, scary guillotines
will chop you through and THROUGH
Week 6 podcast. Weekly recap, conversation with Bill G, this week's chopped, then a little song in his memory.
It's called
Guillotine League Soundtrack (inspired by Motion Picture Soundtrack by Radiohead)
Amon-Ra and DeAndre Swift
helped you stay safe from the blade
both had their bye week
You scored startlingly low
56.14
56.14
Rodgers got thirteen
No one else even broke ten
You missed Zeke and Najee
You could have got them and slipped by
56.14
56.14
And I will see you in the next draft
RIP Joe, AKA Thank you Ben! Congrats to those that made it through.
Chapters coming later. Recap then interview. 3 min organ intro then I left it as background noise. Can take it out it if bugs the crap out of anyone but I figured it might hide the mouth noises.
Enjoy the song I think it turned out fun and hilarious which is ironic because it's based on a bit of a heavy song.
Chopped with Dignity
I want to write a song to not forget you, but I've never met you
So I don't know where to begin
No I don't know where to begin
Nyheim Hines went out with a concussion, what a totally crushin'
Way to start week number five
It's so hard to just stay alive
Week after week there is no safety, for that one team
That gets slayed
By the guillotine blade
Christian Kirk caught one pass for eleven
Najee couldn't score seven
Well I suppose a bust is a bust
And you don't know who you can trust
Duvernay and Terry gave you something, twelve is better than nothing
Which is what Tee Higgins got
His ankle's not feeling so hot
Why even bother trying to push through, you were in pain, take a week
You've got nothing to prove
You've got nothing to prove
Piano solo
Could have had Kamara for a hundred, Zeke and Burkhead both blundered
For twelve points in your bench spot
Their teams won, yours did not
You'll have to try your luck out next year, in ROC Choppers '23
I'd better see you again
I'd better see you again
Week 4 Recap, didn't take as many notes as usually so I just kind of went over it in the computer. Hope it's still somewhat interesting, lmk if not! Enjoy the song at the end, it's a bit shorter this week but it was still fun to do. Hope you enjoy the artwork as well! Credit to Dall-E 2, the AI art bot. The prompt was "Two american football players sitting on a bench watching a jazz band, digital art". I highly recommend checking out Dall-E 2 especially if you had fun with Dall-E mini. Here's one I generated when trying to make an image for the podcast. https://labs.openai.com/s/Ft8cum6HMsVlUO3twpWghOmo
Interview with Dylan, Freya crashed the interview for a bit. I just left it in bc it's cute. I also didn't take the time to really edit much this episode (ums, pauses, random nonsensical ramblings) so just mentally prepare yourself. I definitely left in one part where the connection dropped, I couldn't friggin find it.
This week's Song:
Oh When the Saints Sit on the Bench
Oh when the saints sit on the bench
oh when the saints don't play their game
They will not score you any touchdowns
when the saints sit on the bench
Oh when the saints send out a tweet
About an hour before the game
saying they're benching Alvin Kamara
Michael Thomas sat as well.
You were asleep or waking up
Because it was a London game
Even if you had put Duvernay in
You would still have gotten chopped
When Stefon Diggs scores just ten points
And Singletary scores thirteen
It's not enough to get you to next week
Because the saints won't help you win
Oh when Aiyuk could get you through
If he would score you 18 points
there was a shot but it was a long shot
he just scored six and you got chopped
Sat down in studio with Josh Brown to discuss his recent demise. Also performed his song for him, my first time going through the whole thing. Lyrics below, enjoy. Didn't tweak the vocals really, so they're a bit brassy and peaky buut this isn't friggin Carnegie Hall ok
One Less Team to Roster
One less team to roster
One less score to eye
One less man to pick on waivers
I should be happy
but all I do is cry (cry, cry, no more choppers)
Oh, I should be happy (Oh, why did I go?)
I only know since I lost, my team's so empty
Though I try to forget, I just can't, I fear
each time that Waller scores I still cheer
I don't know how in the world to stop checking my score
Cause it wasn't enough
I end each day the way the way I start out (start and end each day crying)
crying my heart out
Oh, One less man to pick on waivers
No more touchdowns, no more fun (no more fun)
Since I got the chop (Since I got the chop)
Since I got the chop, (mmm)
A point is still a point, even when it happens on your bench
but your bench won't save your team
and your team won't make the cut
when there's no one there, to up your score,
and no one there to help you anymore
A team is still a team, even if they score extremely low
But a team's no longer yours
when everyone outscores
your fifty points of sloppy wet fart
and now your team's broken all apart
Now and then I check my team
And suddenly Trey Lance appears
But it's just a crazy dream
And when it ends, it ends in tears
So darn it, the worst sting
Barely spent my FAAB on anything
I could have offered Zach a deal
for Rhamondre or Khalil
Or a quarterback with better skills
But still I stuck, with good old Davis Mills
(One less team to roster)
Each time that Deebo scores I still cheer (one less score to eye)
I'm lucky I got one less man (one less man)
To pick on waivers
No more touchdowns (no more touchdowns)
No more fun
Since I got the chop (since I got the chop)
Since I got the chop
All I do is cryyyyhiggggh
(inspired by Barbra Streisand's version of One Less Bell to Answer)
Week 2 Post-mortem! RIP Dictaters, AKA Ricky.
Did another song this week,
It's a bit rough but hey whatever
.
.
.
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Boulevard of Broken Teams
I walk a lonely road
The only one that's chopped so far is Ben
Guess that's how it goes
But it really sucks that that I got the chop
I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Teams
It'd be pretty neat
If Josh had gone instead but I got the chop
I got the chop, I got the chop
I got the chop, I got the-
My head is getting chopped off of my body
My team is scattered to the other sixteen
Some guys did great but they were not on my team
So now I got the chop
Chop, Chop, Chop, Chop
Chop, Chop, Chop
I researched all that time
Thought that Fields would be a decent pick
He was borderline
Last year but this year he made me sick
All my running backs
Took a nap and gave me twelve whole points
Then Fields got three sacks
Wish I scored for those but I got the chop
I got the chop, I got the chop
I got the chop, I got the-
My head is laying on the floor beside me
My team is scattered to the other sixteen
Sometimes I wish I hadn't punted QB
But hey how could I know
Chop, Chop, Chop, Chop
Chop, Chop, I got the chop, I got the
Guitar solo yahhhh
I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Teams
It'd be pretty neat
If Sam was chopped instead but I got the-
My head is rolling down the street behind me
My team is scattered to the other sixteen
Some guys did great but they were not on my team
So now I got the chop
Weekly Recap, team by team, then a look at how everyone's first- round pick did, then a special song for the chopped.
Ben Woelk, of team Lights out, thanks for playing. You'll be missed, and we'll hopefully get to play with you again next year.