Am I Hungry?: Recent Episodes
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Although exercise is one of the most powerful tools available for improving your overall well-being, for many people, the word exercise conjures up negative thoughts and feelings. To develop an enjoyable and sustainable physical activity habit, it’s important to notice, and if necessary, change your thoughts about exercise!
Are your thoughts about exercise on your side?Most people recognize the benefits of physical activity and feel it’s important. But many people are less active than they say they want to be. Why is there a disconnect between what they think is important and what they actually do?
Without realizing it, they may have ineffective thoughts about exercise that interfere with their ability to follow through on their best intentions.
Thinking ineffective thoughts is a habit, and a habit can be changed with awareness, curiosity, and practice. For example, if you believe fitness is important but you’re not very active or exercising regularly, it’s likely you have some limiting thoughts that keep you from doing it. With practice, you can change your thoughts about physical activity and eating (and just about everything else!) to thoughts that support your intention to become more active and experience all the benefits!
Common ineffective thoughts about exerciseLet’s challenge the these common ineffective thoughts about exercise that might be keeping you from doing it.
I know I should exercise, but I hate it, so I just can’t seem to make myself do it.Many people dread exercise, as can be heard by the use of words like should, hate, and make myself. These thoughts often come from uncomfortable past experiences like being chosen last for teams, boring exercise routines, and/or discomfort or pain from doing too much too fast.
Some people only exercise when they’re trying to lose weight, so they’ve come to think of exercise as a punishment for their eating.
However, this time you can find fun physical activities that suit your personality and lifestyle. You can start slowly and allow your body to adjust gradually, so it’s not uncomfortable. You can choose to focus on all the great things physical activity does for you and how wonderful you feel, instead of how many calories you “should” burn.
I don’t have time to exercise.This is probably the number one reason we hear in our mindful eating programs and retreats! Most of us are very busy, and have difficulty fitting fitness in.
Here are some ideas for changing the thought, “I don’t have time to exercise.”
- When you’re busy, trying to go to the gym for an hour may not work for you. Instead, it will probably be more effective to look for small chunks of time to fit a little movement into your day. For example, you might decide to take the stairs instead of the elevator. (And remember to set the bar low! If you work on the 5th floor, at first, you could take the stairs one flight and the elevator the other four flights.)
- Look for opportunities to multi-task. (Not our usual advice in a mindfulness-based program!) For example, could you schedule a walking meeting with a co-worker? Could you ride bikes or play catch with your child? Does your dog (or your partner) need a walk? Can you sit on an exercise bike or walk on a treadmill while listening to a podcast or watching TV? You get the idea!
- Look for pockets of wasted time you could reclaim for physical activity.
- Re-prioritize your time. Being physically active is probably more important for your health and well-being than most of the other things you think must get done each day. The key is giving it the priority that it deserves.
I don’t have the energy.Getting started is often the most challenging part of exercise The good news is that no matter how you feel initially, you’re likely to feel better within just a few minutes of starting to move!
Physical activity raises your endorphins (feel good chemicals) and serotonin levels (calm chemicals). These feelings usually last long after the exercise is finished too. Exercise increases your strength and stamina, and helps you sleep better, so you’re likely to feel better and become more productive (which will help with feeling like you don’t have time!).
So, even when you feel tired, could you experiment with exercising for ten minutes? Promise yourself you can stop and try again another day if you still aren’t feeling any better. Most of the time you’ll feel so good you’ll want to continue!
I’m embarrassed to be seen exercising.Ironically most other people are so focused on themselves, they aren’t going to notice you anyway! And if they do judge you, it says a lot more about them than it does about you!
Eventually you’ll probably feel less self-conscious. In the meantime, find activities and places that feel more comfortable, so you can focus on all of the wonderful benefits of moving your body. Remember, you’re doing this for yourself, not to win others’ approval.
Exercise is really hard for me.Physical activity doesn’t have to be hard or hurt to be beneficial. In fact, it is more important to find activities that are convenient, comfortable, and enjoyable, so you’ll stick with them. Here are a few ideas for making exercise more fun:
- Find a partner to exercise with.
- Try new activities. (My latest favorite is pickleball!)
- Instead of taking the same walk, try a new route (or even your usual route in reverse).
- Reward yourself with a hot bath or massage.
- Set small, achievable goals to stay motivated. (Here’s an article that will help!)
Even if you have physical limitations, it’s possible to find ways to increase your activity. Try searching YouTube for key words like “chair exercise,” “senior exercise,” “yoga for larger bodies” and other specific terms describing your needs.
If you’ve been inactive recently, start by increasing your lifestyle activity, and add more movement gradually. You’ll be amazed at how much your body can adapt to whatever challenges you give it!
I’m so out of shape, I don’t even know where to begin!For some people, it may be important to check with your doctor before beginning a new exercise program. Once you’ve been medically cleared, you have to start somewhere, so start where you are!
This might require you to let go of perfectionism and “all or nothing” thinking! There’s no such thing as instant fitness. If you start this week by increasing your activity level little by little, three months from now you’ll be stronger, more energetic, healthier, and most important, feeling better.
I was doing pretty well until I got sick (or company came or I went on vacation).Quitting your exercise program because you missed a day, a week, or even longer makes as much sense as eating the whole bag of cookies because you ate three! (Another example of “all or nothing” thinking!)
No person and no schedule are ever perfect. For activity to become part of your life, you need to be as consistent, but as flexible as possible. Many people have found that putting their exercise schedule in their calendar helps. If they miss a session, they simply reschedule it the way they would any other important appointment.
Other people find it helpful to schedule time with a friend or a trainer or commit to a regular class.
What are your other ineffective thoughts about exercise?When you’re having difficulty being as active as you want to, notice whether your thoughts about exercise are getting in the way.
Can you counter them in a more effective way? Develop encouraging statements about activity and repeat them to yourself often.
For instance, instead of saying, Exercise is boring, could you say, Being active gives me the opportunity to relieve stress and feel better. Repeat affirmations like I can feel myself becoming healthier and more energetic, It feels so good to move my muscles! and I can do it!
Start thinking of your self as a fit and active person and you will surely become one!
This is an excerpt from Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat: A Mindful Eating Program to Break Your Eat-Repent-Repeat Cycle by Michelle May, M.D.
This article has been updated from a previously published version.
Enjoyed this article? Here are three more to help you:
Exercise: The Best Medicine
Diet and Activity Trackers: The Next Generation of Misused Tools
Is Perfectionism Eating You Up?
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With the popularity of mindful eating on the rise, there are many myths about mindful eating, including what mindful eating is and how it is used to help people. One article about mindful eating published on a popular diet website generated comments revealing myths, skepticism, and resistance, including this funny comment: “I will NOT fantasize about fruit like it is a sexual object.“
It is understandable that people might be confused about mindful eating. Just over a decade ago, when I asked audiences whether they’d ever heard of “mindful eating,” very few hands went up. Nowadays, mindful eating has become mainstream, with millions of results for the search term “mindful eating.”
This may explain one of the myths about mindful eating: “Mindful eating is just a fad.”
- Mindful eating is just another fad.Mindful eating is an ancient concept that has important applications in our current abundant food environment where the norm has become mindless eating.
Mindful eating is about bringing awareness to what is happening in the present moment. This includes awareness of your physical sensations, your thoughts (including your reaction to environmental cues), and your emotions. This awareness helps you choose how you will respond in any situation.
Clearly, that is a useful and lasting skill, not a fad! And, it is a skill that transfers to other areas of our lives too.
- Mindful eating is “just” eating with awareness.I often see articles that give advice to eat mindfully like this: “Sit down to eat. Don’t eat in front of the television.” And to be clear, “chew each bite 32 times” is NOT mindful eating. It is mind-full eating!
While eating slowly and decreasing distractions while eating are helpful strategies, mindful eating has many more applications.
At Am I Hungry?, mindful eating encompasses the entire process of eating. Examples of specific opportunities for mindfulness include:
- awareness of your body cues
- recognition of non-hunger stimuli for eating
- selecting food to meet your needs for enjoyment and nourishment
- eating for optimal satisfaction and satiety
- cultivating the ability to learn from mistakes
- using the energy you’ve consumed to fuel the vibrant life you crave.
For more about how to use the Mindful Eating Cycle, download chapter 1 of Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat.
Remember, you can only change what you are aware of. That’s what makes mindful eating such a powerful tool for developing a healthier, happier relationship with food.
- Mindful eating is too hard.As a young child, mindful eating was natural! You touched, smelled, and played with your food – and sometimes spit it out if you didn’t like it.
As adults, many of us have learned to rush and/or multitask while we eat (and just about everything else). We barely notice what we’re eating or whether we like it. We’ve had lots of practice eating a candy bar or a bag of potato chips without thinking about it. It’s easy!
It’s challenging to slow down to notice what we are consuming, much less how we are consuming it and how our body is responding. Slowing down heightens your senses, including awareness about what you’re thinking and feeling.
Just remember, there is no need for perfection! Take small steps. Some ideas for making it a little easier at first:
- Eat one bite of chocolate or a strawberry, noticing the aromas, flavors, and textures.
- Set an intention to eat the first few bites of your meal mindfully.
- When you notice you are eating fast or while distracted, practice bringing your attention back for your next bite.
- If you become aware that you’re feeling uncomfortable or anxious, pause and take a couple of deep breaths.
- Practice mindfulness while doing other activities, like showering or taking a walk.
- When you have time, follow the steps for mindful eating by yourself or with others. You might be surprised at how that changes your experience.
If mindful eating is a new skill, every bite you eat is an opportunity to practice! Since eating mindfully brings more pleasure and satisfaction to your snack or meal, you’ll likely find that it becomes easier and feel more natural over time.
Which brings us to another myth about mindful eating.
- Mindful eating takes too long.When you are busy, it seems that sitting down to “just” eat takes too much time. The temptation is to eat while working, driving, reading, scrolling, or watching TV.
When we lead a mindful eating experience during a workshop or retreat, we spend up to an hour “deconstructing” the Mindful Eating Cycle in order to demonstrate the skills in discrete steps. (You’ll also find these strategies explained in the Mindful Eating chapter of the Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat books.)
This may sound prescriptive or mechanical at first. However, each step of our mindful eating exercise has a purpose. After one such lunch, one mindful eating retreat participant said that eating this way felt “sensual.” The definition of sensuous is to use all of one’s senses, so that’s a great way to describe mindful eating!
And while it’s wonderful to experience an entire meal leisurely and mindfully, mindful eating doesn’t have to take a long time to be effective. A meal eaten mindfully for 10 or 15 minutes is likely to be far more satisfying than one you eat unconsciously. And, you can mindfully consume a piece of cheese or a couple of cookies in just a few minutes – and turn those few minutes into a mini-meditation that will nourish your body and your soul!
- Mindful eating is “woo woo.”In contrast to hypertasking and just going through the motions, it does feel a bit spiritual to focus on just one thing at a time. And while mindfulness has ancient roots, it is imminently practical in our modern hurried, overwhelming environment.
Unlike the less common acts of meditating, going to a place of worship, or reading spiritual works, everyone eats! Bringing mindfulness to the table is a useful way to tap into the calming effects of the present moment.
When you bring “beginner’s mind” to each eating experience, eating becomes a multisensory adventure that is so much more satisfying and enjoyable – perhaps even a bit spiritual.
- Mindful eating is for eating “better.”Unfortunately, the phrase “mindful eating” is often misused as a way to talk about restricting food intake, as in “Eat mindfully to avoid sugar.” I describe that as mind-full eating!
Eating mindfully definitely increases your awareness about why you do what you do, and that can lead to changes that support your intention to feel better.
Combining mindful eating skills with a non-diet (non-restrictive) approach makes it possible to listen to the feedback your body gives you when you eat something that doesn’t agree with you or when you eat more than your body needs.
When guilt is no longer a factor, common sense will prevail!
- Mindful eating is for weight loss.Unfortunately, due to our our weight-focused culture, a common myth is that mindful eating techniques are for weight loss.
Mindful eating is an “inside-out” approach. The myth that it’s just for weight loss undermines many of the lasting benefits because it keeps the focus on changing the outside.
This is a complex topic worthy of its own article: Mindful Eating and Weight Loss: Setting the record straight.
Although there will continue to be misunderstandings and myths about mindful eating, the best way to tap into the power of this approach is to try it for yourself!
The post It’s a fad and 6 other Myths about Mindful Eating appeared first on Am I Hungry?.
The term “mindful eating” is used everywhere these days! You may be wondering, “What exactly is mindful eating? How does it help? How can I learn more about it, or help others learn about it?” With the explosion of interest, there is also confusion about mindful eating.
Often understood narrowly as “eating slowly” or “eating without distraction,” but contrary to popular belief, mindful eating is not “just” eating with awareness. Although being present while eating is important, mindful eating encompasses the entire process of eating, such as:
- awareness of body cues (like hunger), thoughts, and emotions
- recognition of non-hunger triggers for eating, including environmental and emotional cues
- selection of food for both nourishment and enjoyment
- eating for optimal satisfaction and satiety
- using the fuel you’ve consumed to live a vibrant life.
This broad application makes mindful eating a powerful tool for creating a healthier, happier relationship with food that supports optimal well-being.
Our white paper, Mindful Eating: A Practical Approach to Optimal Eating and Health, was written to shed light on the concept of mindful eating and offer a resource for those interested in learning more about it. It provides a practical description of mindful eating, clears up common myths and confusion about mindful eating, explains how it helps individuals across the health spectrum, and describes a model for implementing mindful eating in virtually any setting.
Watch this one minute video for a brief summary of the white paper, Mindful Eating: A Practical Approach to Optimal Eating and Health, and/or download the complimentary paper now. And feel free to share with others who may benefit!
This article has been updated from a previously published version.
Enjoyed this article? Here are three more:
What is Mindful Eating?
The Mindful Eating Cycle
Get off the diet tightrope and on a wide path!
The post Clearing Confusion about Mindful Eating appeared first on Am I Hungry?.
When Halloween night is over, many parents will be wondering, “How do I allow my kids to enjoy their Halloween candy without eating too much?”
The “food police” might have very different answers for you like, “Dole it out two pieces a day” or “Make the kids trade it in for money to buy a toy.”
The fear-based approach to controlling Halloween candy is symptomatic of our cultural fear-based approach to eating in general.
The Key to Halloween Candy and KidsWhen I was struggling with yo-yo dieting, I attempted to control my children’s food much the same way I thought I needed to control my own. Not surprisingly (in retrospect), this only led to a fixation on sweets and secret eating. When I “discovered” a blue Gatorade my young son bought with his allowance because we never bought sweet drinks, I realized my need to control their food so rigidly wasn’t working for them any better than it worked for me!
Look, I’m not advocating a free-for-all. I still feel families need to make mindful decisions about eating. But making Halloween candy “bad” is likely to backfire, giving certain foods more power, lasting into adulthood!
So my fearless approach to kids and Halloween candy shifted to putting them in charge. After all, learning to handle an abundance of food is an essential skill in our current environment.
Remember, you’re not raising children, you’re raising adults!
Here’s how this looked for our family (from the opening to Chapter 10 of Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat.)
Mindful Eating, Halloween Candy, and KidsI used to love watching my kids at Halloween because they taught me so much about eating mindfully. They were just as excited about their costumes, trick-or-treating with their friends, and sorting and trading their candy as they were about eating it. Don’t get me wrong; they love candy. But the candy was only a part of the whole experience.
When my children were small, I kept their Halloween candy out of reach and rationed it by allowing them to choose a couple of pieces each day from their separate stashes.
I was still dieting in those days, so I never had any candy of my own. I would carefully steal anything chocolate that I didn’t think they’d miss. Fortunately, they never found the wrappers I guiltily shoved to the bottom of the garbage. By the time they were old enough to figure it out, I was no longer trying to control them—or myself.
When they were older, their diets were more balanced than most kids’ (and adults’ for that matter), and I knew they were capable of managing such things as their own Halloween candy.
I marveled at how each child’s individual personality showed up when they were in charge!
Tyler loved the sugary kid-candy and would devour his favorites within a few weeks, leaving the rest. His usual intake of Popsicles and other treats decreased accordingly.
Elyse insisted on keeping her candy in her closet so her brother wouldn’t eat it. Each day she would rummage through her bag to find a few perfect pieces. I’d like to think I taught her moderation, but I know she just loved to savor it. She’d eventually forget about the candy or lose interest when her favorites were gone, and I’d throw the rest away by Valentine’s Day.
I have my own chocolate now. Not the leftovers my kids don’t want, but the kinds I love. It takes days or even weeks for me to finish a box or a bag, and on more than one occasion, I’ve been surprised by coming across some that I had completely forgotten about.
As your kids mature, increase their responsibility for deciding!Learning how to handle our food-abundant environment without feeling restricted and deprived is one of the keys to eating effortlessly. When you take a fearless approach and try not to make the Halloween candy too big of a deal, your kids will feel less compelled to eat it all – now and as adults!
This article has been updated from a previously published version.
Read more articles for help handling Halloween candy:
9 Tricks to Managing the Treats
Want Candy? Flowchart
Rewire Your Brain
The post Halloween Candy and Kids: A Fearless Approach appeared first on Am I Hungry?.
Discussions about weight loss and diabetes seem to go hand-in-hand but are a common source of confusion, guilt, and most important, distraction from what it really takes to manage diabetes long-term.
If you’ve been diagnosed with prediabetes or diabetes, it’s likely that one of the first recommendations was to lose weight. As if you hadn’t tried losing weight countless times before, only to gain the weight back plus some!
If you are someone who wants to stop weight cycling AND prevent or manage diabetes, the advice to lose weight probably left you feeling guilty and confused. Let’s explore a non-diet, weight-neutral solution for someone with diabetes who doesn’t want to yo-yo diet anymore: mindful eating.
Is the goal of diabetes self-management to lose weight?As hard as it may be to understand given the constant drum to “lose weight,” losing weight is not the goal of diabetes self-management. (Even if you’ve been told to lose weight to control your diabetes repeatedly by your healthcare team.)
The goal of diabetes self-management is to manage your blood sugars to allow you to live a full and vibrant life.
The fact is, weight is not a behavior.
What do I mean by that? If weight was a behavior, you’d be able to change it right now while reading this post. Weight change is a possible outcome or result of many specific behaviors and many factors that are beyond your conscious control!
So instead of focusing on a number on a scale, I encourage my clients to start focusing on behaviors that help you manage your diabetes.
But won’t weight loss will help me manage my blood sugars?Repeated dieting can be risky for cardiovascular health. In a 2022 review study, Glenn A. Gaesser highlighted the following misconceptions.[1]
- Weight loss is rarely sustained.
- Weight loss doesn’t increase life expectancy.
- Yo-yo dieting, aka weight cycling, is consistently associated with worse cardiovascular health for people with diabetes.
- Weight cycling is associated with an increased risk of death in patients with type 2 diabetes.
Weight is often mistaken as a reliable marker of health. But another truth is that you cannot know someone’s health (or behaviors!) by knowing how much they weigh.
If you’re thinking, “But this is different; it’s diabetes!” pause for a moment…
You want to make changes to your behaviors because you understand that diabetes is a serious, chronic condition. So this desire to take care of yourself is wonderful and something I want to support and nourish. Not just for a week or two, but for the rest of your life!
The rest of your life is a long time!
But diet culture is fueled by a sense of urgency. The constant “do-it-now!” marketing makes you think that trying another diet is going to be different than the five, ten, or fifty diets you’ve already tried. In the excitement and hope that “maybe this one will work,” it’s easy to forget that the goal isn’t another eat-repent-repeat cycle; the goal is lifelong diabetes management!
What to do instead of weight cycling?Mindfulness and mindful eating can help you counter this urge to rush to “fix your diabetes” – a myth that distracts you from practicing behaviors for long-term diabetes management.
Let’s explore six mindfulness principles (from Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat with Diabetes).
AwarenessMindfulness is about awareness of the present moment. It guides you to check in and listen to your inner wisdom to discover a sustainable way to change your eating and heal your relationship to food.
CuriosityIn place of restrictive rules, cultivate curiosity. Asking yourself questions such as, “Am I hungry?” or “What am I really hungry for?” may help you let go of giving yourself commands like, “You’re not allowed to eat that!” or “That’s what you have to eat because you have diabetes.”
NonjudgmentDiet culture teaches you that there are “good” and “bad” behaviors. Mindfulness encourages nonjudgment, which allows us to learn from our choices and solve problems. And for every single problem there are many solutions, so be creative and open to new ideas.
Be PresentFocusing on weight loss forces you to focus on the future. Become present by asking yourself, “What behavior can I try right now that will help me experience a more full and vibrant life?”
Letting GoInstead of the rigidity required to follow strict rules about eating, mindful eating is powerful and effective because you can practice flexibility as you explore new solutions to food and eating challenges.
AcceptanceHaving a chronic condition can be challenging, but resisting your diagnosis keeps you stuck in regret. Instead, take small steps toward managing your diabetes mindfully.
Set your intention to try mindful eatingExperiment with some of these mindful eating practices during your next meal or snack.
- Check in and assess your current level of hunger.
- Create the intention to nourish your body.
- Be mindful of fullness by eating food to comfortably satisfy your hunger.
- Slow down, pause, and check in by asking yourself, “Am I still hungry?” Continue to check in while eating.
- Track your physical sensations and blood sugars before and after mindfully eating meals and snacks. Notice any changes.
This article was updated from a previous version.
[1] Glenn A. Gaesser. Type 2 Diabetes Incidence and Mortality: Associations with Physical Activity, Fitness, Weight Loss, and Weight Cycling. Rev. Cardiovasc. Med. 2022, 23(11), 364. https://doi.org/10.31083/j.rcm2311364
If you enjoyed this article, here are three more to help you:
Can you eat snacks and desserts with diabetes?
Diabetes cannot be cured, but it can be managed!
How do you use MyPlate when you have diabetes?
The post Weight Loss and Diabetes appeared first on Am I Hungry?.
In the US, 9% of the population will struggle with an eating disorder at some point in their lives. Binge Eating Disorder (BED) is the second most common eating disorder; in any given year, 0.96% of women and 0.26% of men have BED. While the diagnostic criteria for Binge Eating Disorder focus on the binge part of the cycle, many people don’t realize that binge eating and dieting are often two sides of the same coin.
BED and Dieting Often Co-ExistMany people with BED describe cycles of binge eating followed by restrictive dieting. While it may seem that the decision to start another round of dieting is a result of binge eating, it may actually be the other way around.
Dietary restraint (as it is often referred to in the research) may lead to hunger, deprivation, cravings, and frequent thoughts of food. We’ve been talking about it for years, but this common and expected response to restriction has recently been rebranded by pharmaceutical companies as “food noise.”
Understandably, this “food noise” leads to eating, which causes guilt over breaking one’s diet. Once the diet has been broken, the dieter thinks, “I’ve already blown it. I might as well keep eating.”
This leads to uncomfortable fullness and more guilt, then back to dieting to make up for it. We refer to this as the eat-repent-repeat cycle.
Binge-Repent-Repeat CycleThis process is greatly magnified in individuals who struggle with binge eating (the binge-repent-repeat cycle). While it’s difficult to definitively say whether dieting causes or contributes to binge eating in any particular person, they often go hand-in-hand. Nearly everyone I’ve worked with who struggles with binge eating describes restriction at some point in their eating disorder.
As described by Dr. Kari Anderson in this excerpt from our book, Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat for Binge Eating: A Mindful Eating Program for Healing Your Relationship with Food and Your Body:
When reality sets in after the binge, you may feel overcome with emotion and full of rage—wanting to throw, hit, or scream—or feel despondent, hopeless, or wishing you could die. The feelings of guilt and self-hatred lead to more negative self-talk and further isolation. This increases secrecy, shame, loneliness, and other emotions that perpetuate the cycle.
In the aftermath of a binge, there is usually a sense of desperation and a renewed dedication to the next diet. You make plans to be “good” again—the next day, “on Monday,” or “after the holidays.” Of course dieting doesn’t stop binge eating. For many people restrictive eating simply becomes part of the binge cycle.
Unfortunately, most people blame themselves when the diet fails and they binge again. The guilt and shame they experience feeds the cycle.
The good news is that effective treatment is available! If you struggle with emotional eating or binge eating, click here to learn more about the Am I Hungry? Mindful Eating for Binge Eating Program.
This article has been updated from a previously published version.
Enjoyed this article? Here are three more to help you:
Symptoms of Binge Eating Disorder
Binge Eating Scale
Self Help for Binge Eating Disorder (BED)
The post Binge eating disorder and dieting: Often two sides of the same coin appeared first on Am I Hungry?.
Do you ever think, “But I don’t want to ask if I’m hungry before I eat!” Being a “resistance junky” in my own mindful eating journey, I found the secret to overcoming my reluctance to asking whether I was hungry before I ate.
I realized that my resistance was tied to thinking, “If I pause to ask if I’m hungry, I might not get to eat the food that a part of me feels I must have right now!”
For example, when I feel anxious (trigger), then I have a craving and all of a sudden, eating chocolate cake is the only thing I can think about. You know the feeling, right? It’s like a part of me is absolutely convinced, I MUST eat that chocolate cake!
I know the intention to ask myself whether I’m hungry is all about helping me figure out why I want to eat. But I discovered that if my end goal was to not eat the chocolate cake, I’d resist even asking “Am I hungry?” or doing anything else that remotely resembled an effort to get myself to not eat the cake. It makes sense after all:
If a part of me believes that cake is the only solution, then I won’t want to do anything that might get in the way of me and my cake.
So, here’s what I learned: What we resist persists. So, as long as I thought noticing I’m not hungry means I shouldn’t eat the cake, a part of me will resist checking in.
Instead, when I give myself full permission to eat the cake without guilt and without even a hint that first pausing to ask “Am I hungry?” might result in not eating the cake, my resistance falls away.
In fact, I can even embrace that part of myself who believes eating chocolate cake is a good option in that moment. Without resistance, I can focus on becoming curious about how I feel, knowing that after checking in with myself, I can still decide to eat chocolate cake if I want to. It helps me see that sometimes chocolate cake isn’t what I actually need or want after all.
So, the next time you feel resistance, check in to see if you have any thoughts like not eating is the right, best, or good choice.
If you do, consider giving yourself full permission to eat, and shift your thoughts to something like, “I’m just going to pause for a moment to get curious about what I am experiencing in my body and what I am thinking and feeling before I eat.”
Notice that when resistance has nothing to push up against, it just falls away.
I invite you to give yourself grace through this process. It is a journey and it takes practice, just like any other new skill. If you wanted to perfect your three point shot in basketball, you’d expect to miss many times before you consistently made the shot. It’s the same with mindful eating! Just keep practicing; it’s in the practice that the lasting change and transformation occur.
(Editor’s Note: To learn more about your options when you feel like eating and you aren’t hungry, read chapter 3 of Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat.)
Have you experienced resistance to asking if you’re hungry? Comment on this blog post to ask questions and share your experiences.
This article was previously published and has been updated.
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We are working on something to help with your holiday eating challenges. (If you haven’t already, please take this 1-minute survey!)
It won’t be ready until next week, but lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about what it takes to finally have a joyful, confident relationship with food after years of yo-yo dieting.
I decided to do a series of short videos to walk you through the process. (I filmed them in our tiny home where I’ve escaped the record Phoenix heat, so these are super informal!)
The 4 Stages of Joyful, Confident EatingAs I shared in this first video, over the last 25 years of working with 1000s of people, there are 4 necessary stages you’ll go through as you are breaking your eat-repent-repeat cycles.
Which stages have kept you stuck?
Join me for a free Coaching and Q&A session so I can help!
Stage 1: Trust Your Body WisdomWith a company name Am I Hungry?, people often make the mistake of thinking, “Oh! That sounds easy! Just eat when I’m hungry and stop when I’m full.”
That sounds like rules to me!
As I talked about in the video, asking “Am I hungry?” is not for deciding whether you’re allowed to eat, but for helping you figure out why you want to.
And that makes all the difference. Just ask Rachel, the client I interviewed in the video!
So, what difficulties do you have with trusting your body wisdom?
Join me for a free Coaching and Q&A session so I can help!
Next, check out the video below about eating without guilt or losing control!
Stage 2: Eat What You LoveI shot this video in my kitchen because I’m talking about eating what you love! My client Lauralea also talked about how moving away from restriction has freed her attention, so she can be more engaged in her life.
Can you identify with anything Lauralea or I said in this video?
Join me for a free Coaching and Q&A session so I can help!
Stage 3: Master Your Triggers for Emotional EatingEmotions and other triggers are big drivers for eating. That’s why emotional eating is another place people get stuck on their journey to joyful confident eating.
Most people easily recognize when they’re eating because they’re stressed or bored, but don’t know what to do about it. In this short video, we start to explore what your emotions are trying to tell you.
The amazing thing is, when you learn to interpret your emotions, you’re able to meet your needs better.
Then food can be just another way you add pleasure and connection to your life!
In the next video below, listen to Lisa talk about her 4 stages of transformation and I shared a big announcement!
Stage 4: Live the Vibrant Life You CraveIn this final video in the 4 Stages for Joyful Confident Eating we talked about Stage 4: Live the Vibrant
Life You Crave.
In fact, living a vibrant life is the whole point of finally healing your relationship with food.
And in this video, Lisa talked about her 4 stages of healing!
I also announced that registration for our next Eat Mindfully, Live Vibrantly Program opens on 9/26/24 for ONE WEEK ONLY!
I’m guessing you probably have questions about your challenges with food, so we’ve scheduled
complimentary Coaching and Q&A sessions with me Friday and Saturday.
Go here to grab your seat for my Coaching and Q&A!
In the meantime, consider: What will YOUR vibrant life look like?
Next, I’ll be back with more details about the last Eat Mindfully, Live Vibrantly Program. (Registration starts 9/26/24 for one week only!)
Eat Mindfully, Live Vibrantly Program Holiday Edition!In the last video in the 4 Stages for Joyful Confident Eating, I talked about Stage 4: Live the Vibrant Life You Crave.
Now it’s your opportunity to live the vibrant life YOU crave!
In this video, I talked about the results of our recent holiday eating survey. Your struggles with food during the holidays is really just a magnification of your struggles the rest of the year!
That’s why we decided to offer a program specifically designed to address those issues and set you up for a lifetime of joyful, confident eating!
Eat Mindfully, Live Vibrantly Program Holiday Edition!
Registration opens today for ONE WEEK ONLY!
Watch the short video above, then click here to explore the details of this comprehensive program.
You probably have questions about your challenges with food and how this program will help you, so we’re offering two complimentary Coaching and Q&A sessions with me Friday or Saturday 9/27 and 9/28.
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Binge Eating Disorder (BED) is the most common eating disorder, affecting 3% of the population. What’s more, men are more likely to have binge eating disorder than any other eating disorder. With so many people struggling with this challenging issue, we are thrilled to celebrate five years of offering self help for binge eating disorder (BED)!
Here’s a little background… In 2013, BED was added to the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM5). Here are the criteria for the diagnosis of BED; I reviewed criteria in this video too. That same year, Am I Hungry? launched our first Mindful Eating for Binge Eating Program and Therapist and Treatment Team Training to provide a path to freedom.
5 years of Self-Help for BEDIn 2019, we recognized that many people with BED were unable to access the treatment they desperately needed. And while we strongly believe that working with a qualified treatment team is ideal, we also knew that many people needed a way to get started.
We announced that the Mindful Eating for Binge Eating Workbook and Awareness Journal, the updated companion to Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat for Binge Eating book, should be available to the public in order to reach more people who needed help.
This combination Mindful Eating for Binge Eating set is an incredible self-help tool for binge eating and for helping you heal your relationship with food and your body. Together, this book and workbook are a powerful path to cultivating your self-care voice to overcome the messages that leave you feeling guilty, defeated, and helpless.
Embracing Healing and Planning for RestorationThe Mindful Eating for Binge Eating book and workbook set is a first step to bringing healing into your life. If you have been diagnosed with an eating disorder, and/or currently struggle with symptoms of past trauma, we strongly recommend working with a licensed therapist.
I would also like to invite you to consider additional opportunities to heal your relationship with food and your body. Click here to find a therapist or program in your area and look for upcoming workshops and retreats.
If you have questions about which option is right for you, it would be a pleasure to connect with you to help you receive the answers you need to take another step in the right direction.
The post Self Help for Binge Eating Disorder (BED) appeared first on Am I Hungry?.
For our whole lives we’ve heard “breakfast is the most important meal of the day.” Then along comes mindful eating and the answer to the question, “Should I eat breakfast if I’m not hungry?” isn’t so clear cut!
The old adage stems from the very word “breakfast,” which refers to “breaking the fast.”
Typically, the explanation is that skipping breakfast adversely affects your metabolism because when you skip breakfast, you’re not just skipping a meal: if you eat dinner and don’t eat again until lunch the next day, that’s an 18 hour fast. The concern is that your body is thinking, I’m starving! and will conserve energy.
What does the research say about eating breakfast?A recent review of the research calls some of the purported benefits of eating breakfast into question.
It turns out that although we’ve been told that eating breakfast is an important habit, that was primarily based on observational studies. That means that although there appears to be a correlation between eating breakfast and certain outcomes, there is no way to know whether eating breakfast is the cause.
What else might explain a correlation between breakfast and better health? Well, perhaps people who eat breakfast are also those who get up early to exercise or meditate. Maybe they don’t eat late at night so they are hungry in the morning. Perhaps they sleep well and/or don’t drink alcohol at night. Maybe they consume more fiber and calcium. Maybe they eat a balanced diet throughout the day. Maybe they aren’t working long hours in a stressful job. You get the idea…
In other words, it may not be the breakfast itself, but other associated behaviors and factors (or more likely, a combination of behaviors and factors) that make it appear that breakfast is the most important meal of the day, but there is no way to say that breakfast itself is beneficial.
And of course, the popularity of intermittent fasting has turned the old advice to eat breakfast on its head! One form of intermittent fasting recommends skipping breakfast and eating all of your meals in an 8 or 10 hour window. So much for the most important meal!
Should I eat breakfast if I’m not hungry?One of the most common questions I’m asked about using hunger to help guide eating is, “Should I eat breakfast if I’m not hungry?”
In Am I Hungry? Mindful Eating Programs, we don’t give people rules like “you have to eat breakfast.”
Instead, we guide them to recognize their patterns and try to understand why they do what they do so they can make decisions for themselves.
Mindful eating is an inside-out approach that teaches you to become an expert in yourself, rather trying to be a good rule-follower.
Mindful Eating and BreakfastI’m always glad when the breakfast question comes up because it’s a great example of how this whole hunger-fullness thing works.
So, instead of following an old rule to eat breakfast, or a new rule to skip breakfast, let’s tap into your wisdom!
Wisdom = Knowledge + Experience
Here are some things to consider when learning to use hunger to guide your decisions about breakfast. Hopefully these will give you some insights about your own choices and help you make decisions from the “inside out” about eating!
Some people just aren’t hungry in the morning, and that’s ok!You don’t have to eat breakfast the minute your feet hit the floor – or even within an hour of getting up. If you aren’t hungry right away, keep checking in so you notice you’re hungry before you are starving – a common trigger for overeating.
(Try our Mindful Eating Virtual Coach app. It has a timer you can set to remind you to do a Body-Mind-Heart scan.)
Are you inhibiting hunger?Some people don’t feel hungry when they wake up because they immediately jump into their day, racing around taking care of other people, stressing out, rushing to work, slamming down several cups of coffee, etc., so their hunger is suppressed by the adrenaline and caffeine.
If that might be you, can you create a little space to pause, take a few deep breaths, and check in? (Again our app can help with that.)
Do you have time to eat?Along the same lines, other people are hungry but haven’t figured out how to make time to eat in the morning. If this sounds like you, here are some questions to help you pinpoint the challenge and come up with a solution:
- Do you need to prioritize your needs so you make time for breakfast, just like you make time for brushing your teeth and getting dressed?
- Do you need to get up a little earlier (and perhaps go to bed a little earlier to make that possible)?
- Do you need to prep something to eat for breakfast the night before?
- What are some quick, easy options you could have available?
- Could you take something to work with you so you can eat after your commute?
Are you afraid of feeling “hungry all day”?Some people skip breakfast because they say, “When I eat breakfast, I’m hungry all day.” If you’ve noticed that, pay attention to what you are eating. Could it be that your meals and snacks are mostly carbs? Experiment with adding fat and protein to see if that gives you more sustained satiety.
Are you eating or bingeing at night?Is it possible that the reason you aren’t hungry when you get up is because you eat late or a lot at night? Instead of skipping breakfast, it will be more helpful to explore why you are eating at night, especially if you are binge eating.
Are you trying to compensate for eating the day before?Do you sometimes wake up feeling guilty about what you ate the day before and skip breakfast to make up for it? This often backfires because you may become overly hungry, overeat, and feel like you failed (again), so the whole cycle repeats itself.
As you learn from reading Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat, guilt just feeds your eat-repent-repeat cycle so try to let it go!
Are you setting yourself up with restriction and deprivation?Some people feel that once they start eating, they can’t stop, so they avoid eating until the symptoms are really strong. Often the real issue is that they are restricting their eating so when they finally “give in” and eat, the feelings of deprivation make it difficult to stop.
Take our Eating Cycle Assessment to see if your pattern might be driving restricting and overeating.
Don’t miss the lesson!If you decide to skip breakfast for whatever reason, pay attention to how you feel physically, mentally, and emotionally over the next few hours. This feedback will help you make decisions in the future.
- Are you aware of symptoms that your stomach is empty and your body and brain need fuel?
- Is your stomach growling or empty?
- Do you feel irritable?
- Are you having difficulty concentrating and being productive?
- When you finally eat, do you have difficulty making decisions about what and how much too eat?
- Do you eat too fast to notice how full you are until you’re overly full?
Despite the old adage that “breakfast is the most important meal,” and the new fad to skip breakfast altogether, you have an opportunity to explore what works for you. Since hunger doesn’t follow a clock, paying attention to your body’s signals will help you tune in to your own hunger rhythms and begin to trust yourself to make decisions without following rules.
Enjoyed this article? Here are three more that you might find helpful:
In charge or in control: which are you?
End emotional eating by decoding your triggers.
How to deconstruct overeating.
This article is significantly updated from a previously published version.
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May 6th is No Diet Day – a great opportunity to challenge diet culture! I’ve had so many conversations with folks who have yo-yo dieted for years. That got me wondering… Most people I work with are successful in other areas of their lives but continue to struggle with food. How common is this – and why does it happen?
Please take a moment to answer this quick question below:
How many years have you yo-yo dieted? (And feel free to share all the different things you’ve tried!)
Once we have a good idea how common this really is, I’ll share some thoughts about why we keep doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results.
Make everyday No Diet DayI’ll share some key steps to help you break that cycle so you can have a joyful, confident, peaceful relationship with food and make everyday No Diet Day!
Please post your answer to the question, “How many long have you yo-yo dieted?” below. (Note: There may be a brief delay for your comment to be reviewed and approved. (If you prefer, you may comment about your challenges with eating on Instagram or our public Am I Hungry? Facebook page instead.)
I look forward to hearing from you!
The post It’s No Diet Day. How long have you yo-yo dieted? appeared first on Am I Hungry?.
In my work with my clients, our intention is to get to the root of their eating challenges. In the process, we often uncover messages they absorbed as children that affect their eating as adults. In this article, we’ll explore things parents say that may contribute to eating issues.
Let me first say, there is no need for blame (or guilt)! Caregivers are understandably concerned about making sure their children are well-nourished. They often don’t realize what they are saying about food, eating, and bodies may have unintended consequences.
Parents sometimes forget they’re raising adults, not children! One key life skill those adults need is the ability to navigate our food-abundant environment while maintaining optimal well-being. Therefore, the goal for parents is to provide children with the skills and increasing responsibility for managing their eating (and their lives) without constant vigilance.
9 Things Parents Say about Eating that Have Unintended ConsequencesHere are nine things well-meaning parents might say that may have unintended consequences on children’s eating.
Reflect on whether some of these messages are affecting your eating today. If you care for young children, consider ideas for what you could say instead.
1. You are such a good eater! Children want nothing more than to please their parents and other caregivers. While mealtime should be a pleasant time to connect with your children, eating should remain intrinsically driven to meet the child’s fuel needs, NOT to earn your praise. (Read You’re Not the Boss of My Body!)
What you could say instead:
- You must have been really hungry today!
- I love spending time with you while we have dinner.
2.You are such a picky eater!All children (and most adults) have some foods they just don’t like. Some children are highly taste and/or texture sensitive and many of them will outgrow it. Selective eating is more likely to become an entrenched behavior when we berate, beg, bribe—or worse, feed kids only what they say they’ll eat.
(NOTE: If your child’s difficulties with eating lead to weight loss, stalled growth, nutritional deficiencies, or psychosocial issues, they may need to be evaluated for Avoidant Restrictive Food Intake Disorder (ARFID).)
What you could say instead:
- Yes, I remember you didn’t like it last time; tell me what you think today when you test one bite.
- Did you know your taste buds grow up just like you do? I wonder if you like this food yet.
3.Clean your plate; there are starving children in _______ .Yes! There are starving children all over the world—and in your own area. Eating more food than you need doesn’t help them.
Avoid teaching children scarcity eating behaviors in an food-abundant environment.
What you could say instead:
- It’s important not to be wasteful, so please take only as much as you think you need.
- If you’re full, we can save the rest for later.
- Let’s collect canned food for the food drive and volunteer to help feed others.
4.You have to eat all your vegetables or there will be no dessert.Kids are smart. When you bribe them to eat certain foods, they quickly realize those foods must be yucky—and that dessert is a special reward. They may also learn to hold out until a reward is offered.
What you could say instead:
- I love all kinds of different foods—some that make me healthy and strong and some that are mostly for fun. What kinds of foods do you like?
- Enjoy your dinner. We’ll be having dessert in a couple of hours.
5.Eat all your dinner or you don’t get dessert.This variation on the threat above translates to “you must overeat so I will reward you by giving you more to eat!”
Children naturally love sweet foods, so they can learn to override their fullness signals especially when sweets are offered as a prize. As an adult, you may still clean your plate to justify eating the dessert you want.
What you could say instead:
- Save room for dessert tonight!
- Enjoy your dinner, including dessert!
6. You eat too much garbage (or junk food)!Making foods “good” or “bad” leads to conflict and rebellion rather than choice and balance. Of course as parents, we are responsible for providing a variety of nourishing foods for our families, but labeling foods as junk or garbage can lead to shame and guilt. More important, when foods are “good” or “bad,” you may see yourself as good or bad depending on what you eat. Not helpful!
What you could say instead:
- Pizza night is Friday!
- Do you want to help me make tacos for dinner?
7. I was so bad at lunch today! Now I have to spend an extra hour on the treadmill.Children are born to move! They naturally love exploring their environment, challenging themselves, learning new skills, and playing actively. Unfortunately, the messages they often get from adults teaches them that exercise is punishment for eating.
What you could say instead:
- I ate more than I needed and now I feel really full and uncomfortable. I think a walk will help me feel better. Want to join me?
- Anybody for a bike ride?!
8.I am so fat!Kids learn from us even when we think they aren’t listening. Statements that imply “fat” is a bad thing to be, teach kids to judge themselves and others (leading to teasing and bullying on the playground).
What you could say instead:
- I’m not perfect and I don’t need to be.
- I do my best to make balanced choices so I feel my best.
9. I can’t believe ____ has gained so much weight!Overhearing comments about other people’s bodies tells children it’s OK to judge others for their size or other physical attributes. Perhaps they also secretly wonder what you really think about them.
- There’s my friend! I haven’t seen her in such a long time!
- Every body is different—and they all deserve respect.
And, no matter what else you say, remember to say often: I love you just the way you are!
The post 9 Things Parents Say that May Contribute to Eating Issues appeared first on Am I Hungry?.
I was fortunate to have had a global upbringing, so I’ve known many relatives, friends, and colleagues who fast as part of their various spiritual practices. This post is simply my humble attempt to share what I’ve learned about the mindful aspects of spiritual fasting. It is not an in-depth study of fasting or the health benefits and risks of fasting. Nor is it an attempt to compare and contrast different religious practices or an opinion about whether people should fast or not, as that is clearly a personal choice.
Fasting as a mindful eating experienceMy early fasting experiences were more mindful than spiritual. I noticed I was more concerned about hunger before the fast even started. Once I was in the flow of my day and mentally occupied, hunger took care of itself.
Physically, I was surprised to find myself feeling more energized despite less food and my workout performance was actually better. My taste buds were ready and much more appreciative of the flavors of the next meal. Yet because I deliberately tuning into my body, I was able to respect my stomach’s need for the right amount of food to feel good. I enjoyed the meal without overeating or guilt.
(In the next post, Dr. Michelle May shares ideas for those who are fasting while learning to eat mindfully.)
The spiritual practice of fastingI am passionate about mind-body medicine and as I discover spirituality for myself, I have a deepening respect for the wisdom of ancient spiritual practices. As an Endocrinologist in India, I have many patients who fast for Ramadan, so I wanted to explore the spiritual practice of fasting.
Spiritual fasting takes many forms, with variables such as which foods or meals are given up, how many hours or days one fasts, and how often.
Ramadan is the annual Islamic holy month of fasting, where practicing Muslims refrain from intake of any food or drink from sunrise to sunset. Mindful speech, thought, and action are also expected.
There are many other examples of fasting in religious and spiritual practices. Here are just a few brief examples.
In Judaism, fasting is total abstinence from (or a significantly reduced intake of) food and drink on six designated days of the year. Catholics may give up certain foods during the month of Lent. In Hinduism, certain foods may be given up for certain days of the week or during holy periods. In Buddhism, monks and nuns do not eat after the noon meal as a form of daily discipline. Observant Jains practice an eight day water-only fast once a year.
Potential spiritual benefits of fastingThere are many potential spiritual benefits of fasting:
- By diverting focus from the distractions of the outside world, one can train the mind to satisfy its appetite through increased prayer and contemplation of God.
- Fasting intensifies spiritual experiences and meditative practices.
- Food cravings and hunger pangs may be experienced as impermanent, earthly, and even irrelevant, similar to other thoughts and emotions that come and go.
- Fasting provides a clearer appreciation of the mind and body.
- Bodily and worldly needs take a backseat to the care of the soul and spirit.
- Attention is focused on one’s connection to God and on prayer to strengthen that connection.
- Hunger reminds one of their dependence and rekindles gratitude for one’s blessings.
- Breaking the fast is a celebration of the abundance in life.
- Sharing food at the end of the fast helps promote compassion, unity, humility, and generosity.
For me spiritual fasting, like eating mindfully, helps align body, mind, and spirit, and develop a sense of gratitude, humility and fellowship.
I’m interested in learning more and I’d love to hear about your personal experiences with fasting. Please share your comments below.
Dr. Roshani Sanghani MBBS (Bom), MD Endocrinology, Diabetes and Metabolism (USA), Founder Reisaan Health and Aasaan Health LLC
Hello! As a practicing endocrinologist, I take a lifestyle-first approach to help my patients incorporate positive lifestyle changes that allow them to achieve better health with less medication. It has become my passion to help patients get back in touch with their inner wisdom. The Am I Hungry? Mindful Eating approach increases mindfulness in daily life, even in areas that aren’t about food! In the ten years since I discovered this program, I haven’t found a better way of helping people heal their relationship with food through mindfulness. I can’t recommend it enough. It changed me as a physician, parent, and person, and I know I am able to help my patients at a deeper level because of what I learned from facilitating this program.
The post The Spirituality and Mindfulness of Fasting appeared first on Am I Hungry?.
“What do I eat?” As a diabetes educator and dietitian, I am asked this question every day! Mindful eating isn’t about eating a specific food or limiting yourself to a set number of calories, carbs, or other nutrients. It is about becoming curious and aware so you can make conscious decisions about what to eat with diabetes.
I have diabetes. What can I eat?Fortunately, with mindful eating, you can eat anything you want. But that probably sounds scary if you’ve struggled with your eating in the past!
Never fear! We don’t give your rules about what to eat, but in Chapter 9 of Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat with Diabetes, we answer the challenging question, What do I eat with diabetes? by teaching you to ask more questions.
Specifically, here are the three questions to consider when deciding what to eat:
What do I want? Much of the time when you’re hungry, a specific food, flavor, or texture will come to mind. As you get used to listening to your body’s signals, you’ll begin to recognize what type of food or taste matches your particular desire at the time. Asking yourself, “What do I want?” is an important initial step to determining what to eat. (I know this question can feel a little scary; keep reading! I’ll talk more about that below.)
What do I need? The next question is “What do I need?” Food decisions are neither good nor bad, but clearly, some foods offer more nutritional benefits than others. When you have diabetes, the impact of different foods on your blood glucose Is an important consideration. As you think about what food to choose, ask yourself, “What does my body need?”
What do I have? The final question is “What do I have?” This step can be summarized by planning and preparation. Having a variety of foods available is essential if you’re going to learn to use hunger to guide your eating. If you feel hungry and the only food available is from a vending machine, you’re options are likely to be limited, making it harder to choose a snack that is a great balance of nutritious and delicious.Take charge of your diabetes by keeping meals and snacks on hand that are a good fit for what you want and what you need.
But what if I won’t make healthy choices?One of my patients, Mike, found these three questions really helpful at first. However, on a follow-up visit, he told me he’d been struggling with cravings.
As Mike and I explored the issue, we could see he had slipped back into a Restrictive Eating Cycle. (Review chapter 1 of Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat with Diabetes.)
He said he was afraid to ask the question, What do I want? because he thought he wouldn’t make healthy choices.
However, when he only asked, What do I need?, he began to feel deprived, resulting in strong cravings. His cravings increased his fear that he wouldn’t make healthy choices. The more he tried to avoid the question, What do I want?, the stronger his cravings became!
Fear-based thoughts like “I won’t make healthy choices” strengthens cravings, reinforces faulty thinking, and allows doubt to grow. (If you’re struggling with cravings or fear about considering what you want to eat, read “Let Go of Fear-Based Thoughts” in chapter 9 of Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat with Diabetes.)
To help Mike understand why his restrictive approach was counter-productive, we compared restrictive eating to mindful eating.
Restrictive eating is about trying to stay “in control,” whereas mindful eating is about being “in charge.” (For more comparisons, see lists in chapter 3.) Another way to say this is restrictive eating is about being good, whereas mindful eating is about feeling good.
By considering what he wanted to eat in addition to what he needed to eat, Mike was able to cultivate curiosity and awareness instead of fear and restriction. As a result, he was able to take the power back from the food and his cravings diminished!
In my next post, I’ll share something else that helped Mike: Gratitude.
This article was updated from a previously published version.
Want to read more about diabetes?
What is mindful eating and how can it help my diabetes?
Can you eat snacks and desserts with diabetes?
Mindful Eating and Diabetes: Get Out of Autopilot
The post What Do I Eat with Diabetes? appeared first on Am I Hungry?.
While most people overeat at times, some may wonder, when is overeating binge eating disorder? Since it’s National Eating Disorders Awareness Week, let’s focus on the second most common eating disorder, Binge Eating Disorder (BED). Approximately 2.7% of women, 1.7% of men and 1.8% of adolescents suffer from BED.[1] This disorder is seen in all age groups, races, ethnic backgrounds, and socioeconomic income levels.
BED is characterized by recurrent episodes of binge eating—eating larger amounts of food in a discrete period of time than most people would in the same situation. Other associated behaviors include eating very rapidly, eating past the point of being full, eating when not hungry, and eating alone. This behavior is coupled with intense feelings of “loss of control” over eating, shame and guilt. BED is diagnosed when an individual engages in binge eating, on average, at least 1 day a week for 3 months.
What is a binge?Binge eating episodes are associated with three or more of the following symptoms:
- Eating until you feel uncomfortably full
- Eating large amounts of food when not physically hungry
- Eating much more rapidly than usual
- Eating alone because you are embarrassed by how much you’re eating
- Feelings of loss of control
- Feeling disgusted, depressed, guilty, and/or ashamed after overeating
What is Binge Eating Disorder (BED)?Binge Eating Disorder (BED) was added to the DSM-5 (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) in May 2013.[1] Here’s a summary of the full diagnostic criteria for BED:
- BED may be diagnosed when binge eating occurs, on average, at least once a week for three months.
- The episodes are characterized by eating an amount of food that is definitely larger than most people would eat in a similar period of time under similar circumstances.
- There is a sense of lack of control over eating during the episode (e.g., a feeling that one cannot stop eating or control what or how much one is eating).
- There is marked distress about binge eating and there is no recurrent use of inappropriate compensatory behavior (for example, purging).
Take this screening test: Binge Eating Scale.
What does BED feel like?Kari Anderson DBH, LPC, CEDS, an eating disorder specialist, co-author of Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat for Binge Eating and the Am I Hungry? Mindful Eating for Binge Eating Workbook and Awareness Journal and the co-creator of the Am I Hungry? Mindful Eating for Binge Eating Program, explains that a person with BED may eat “normally” with others, stop on the way home to buy “binge” foods, then binge and hide evidence of the episode. The aftermath of a binge episode involves extreme feelings of shame and disgust.
Kari adds, “Individuals with BED are typically competent and accomplished in other areas of their life, yet feel unable to stop this secret behavior. Bingeing is a way to escape or disconnect from thoughts and feelings that seem intolerable. There may be difficulty managing states of emotional and physical distress without using food. On the other hand, the thought of giving up the behavior evokes anxiety.”
While most people can relate to overeating or even bingeing from time to time, the lives of those with binge eating disorder are significantly disrupted by the binges and the aftermath.
Confusing binge eating and body size distracts clinicians and people with BED from seeking appropriate treatment for this common eating disorder. It is also important to note that not everyone with binge eating disorder (BED) is at a higher weight and most people who are at a higher weight do not have binge eating disorder. While people with BED commonly yo-yo diet, weight cycle, and even undergo weight loss surgery, restrictive dieting makes binge eating worse.
People with binge eating disorder may suffer in silence for years, feeling alone, ashamed, and depressed. But they are not alone; there are millions of people with BED.
How is BED treated?If you think you may have binge eating disorder, seek treatment from an experienced treatment specialist.
Mindfulness-based strategies aimed at self-regulating emotional and physical states have shown promise in the treatment of Binge Eating Disorder. Mindful eating strategies such as those described in Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat for Binge Eating are an important complement to therapy.
The comprehensive Am I Hungry?® Mindful Eating for Binge Eating (AIH ME-BE) Program is a clinically valid treatment that has been shown to stop binge eating. AIH ME-BE combines interactive, eye-opening workshops and small group therapy sessions led by a trained Am I Hungry? Mindful Eating for Binge Eating Program or Therapist.
With effective treatment, there is hope for recovery and the freedom to live the vibrant life you crave!
[1] Deloitte Access Economics. (2020). The Social and Economic Cost of Eating Disorders in the United States of America: A Report for the Strategic Training Initiative for the Prevention of Eating Disorders and the Academy for Eating Disorders. Available at: https://www.hsph.harvard.edu/striped/report-economic-costs-of-eating-disorders/
[2] American Psychiatric Association. (2013). DSM 5. American Psychiatric Association.
This article was updated from a previously published version.
Want to read more about binge eating?
What is the difference between emotional eating and binge eating?
Binge eating disorder and dieting: Often two sides of the same coin
Binge eating is chaotic eating
The post When is Overeating Binge Eating Disorder? appeared first on Am I Hungry?.
I was curious about your most common triggers for overeating, so I asked this question on our Facebook: page:
What are your top three triggers for overeating?
Before we get to the responses, let’s clarify what we mean by the words “triggers” and “overeating.”
I am using “trigger” to mean any situation, person, place, or other association that prompts a desire to eat. Learn more about triggers here.
“Overeating” is eating to the point of discomfort. It doesn’t mean exceeding a predetermined portion size or consuming too much of a so-called “bad” food. Read more: What Does Overeating Mean?
Most Common Triggers for OvereatingNot surprisingly, there was quite a bit of overlap in your triggers for overeating. Stress, boredom, fatigue, appetizing food, and “emotions” came out on top.
We also got a couple of funny responses. My favorite was “Forks, Spoons, and Knives.”
Here’s a quick tally of the most common triggers based on the first 30 responses to our informal poll:
What to do about triggers for overeating?Awareness is the starting line for change. So the important question is, what do you do about your triggers for eating?
Am I Hungry? Mindful Eating Programs are designed to help you recognize your cues for eating, make conscious decisions about why, when, what, and how much you eat, and when you’re not hungry, how to meet your needs better than eating does.
Let’s use the common trigger, fatigue, as an example of how this works.
Let’s say it is evening, an hour or two after dinner, and you feel like eating something. You get up, wander into the kitchen, and just before you open the refrigerator, you pause to check in, and realize you’re not hungry. You’re tired.
With this awareness, you have three choices.
1)You can still eat if you want to. When you choose to eat anyway, you then notice how you feel afterward without judgment. (Maybe more tired? Maybe still wanting more food?)
2) You could choose to redirect you attention from the food, maybe crocheting or playing a game on your phone.
3) You have the option of meeting your true needs, in this case, going to bed and getting some sleep!
When you aren’t quite sure how to meet your needs, try the FEAST strategy I shared in this post.
A Few Common Triggers for EatingHere are a couple of articles that address the two most common triggers: stress and boredom.
Overeating Trigger #1: Stress
I eat when I’m bored: What to do about boredom eating
We have many articles on this website about emotional eating; use the search function above. Here’s a good one to get you started:
Don’t Stop Emotional Eating! Learn from it instead!
As you become aware of your triggers, explore them one at a time. And if you need help, that’s what we’re here for!
Read more about how our Eat Mindfully, Live Vibrantly Program addresses these challenges using the BEST of our 25 years of experience.
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People sometimes feel pressure to eat from others when eating out. Mindful eating is all about making decisions from the inside-out, not the outside in!
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We get more of what we focus on. When we focus on what we are grateful for, we are more aware of the wonderful things we have in our lives.
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To confront body bashing, Dr. May said our body "hears" us. We wrote a letter from our body that began "Dear (my name)," and ended "Love, Your Body."
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Bubble baths might be the first thing to pop in your mind when you hear "self-care." While self-care is much more than that, this activity is a mindful bath!
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The intention for fearless eating is to observe the sensations you experience while eating your favorite food without a critical mind.
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The 3rd activity in the Am I Hungry? 7-day Mindful Self-Care Challenge is Mindful Eating.
Despite our remarkable ability to multitask, the truth is, our brain can only fully focus on one thing at a time. When we eat and drive, work, read, or watch TV, something has to go on autopilot. Most of the time, it will be eating!
If you’ve ever felt stuffed but unsatisfied after eating, chances are you’ve experienced this phenomenon.
Mindful Eating: Love what you eat!The purpose of this activity is to bring your full awareness—body, mind, heart, and spirit—to the act of consuming a piece of fresh fruit, step-by-step. In other words, love what you eat!
- When you’re hungry for a snack, select a piece of fresh fruit by noticing the color, texture, and aroma.
- If needed, wash it carefully, feeling the water and watching it cascade over your hand and the surface of your fruit.
- If necessary, peel it and cut it into bite-sized pieces, paying attention to the movement of your hands, and the textures and aroma of the fruit as you do.
- Place your fruit on a small attractive plate or napkin.
- Find a calm, quiet, pleasant place to sit.
- Close your eyes for a moment and connect with your breath.
- Simply feel yourself breathing for a few moments, consciously choosing calmness.
- When you’re ready, open your eyes, pick up one piece of your fruit with your fingers, and look at it closely, using beginners mind.
- Notice the colors, textures, patterns, and reflection of light. Allow yourself to be awed by the beauty and complexity of this simple snack.
- As you bring it slowly up to your nose and mouth, notice the effortless movement of your hand and arm. You may even be aware that you are salivating.
- Pause for a moment to smell the aromas.
- Place the piece of fruit on your tongue and observe its weight, texture, and taste. Are you aware of sweetness, sourness, or bitterness?
- Now move it around your mouth, exploring the surface of the fruit.
- When you’re ready, slowly bite down, listening and feeling as the fruit releases small packets of juice.
- As you slowly chew, allow your taste buds to become fully saturated with the fruit.
- Continue to breathe, bringing the aromas up into the back of your nose. It is the combination of taste and aroma that give you the unique flavor of this piece of fruit.
- When you have fully experienced that bite, swallow mindfully, aware that the fruit now fills a small space in your stomach.
- Pause before your next bite and notice that the flavor lingers.
- Slowly finish your fruit this way. When you notice yourself becoming distracted or eating quickly, gently bring your awareness back to savoring this fruit, in this moment.
- When you are done, express gratitude for your snack and your ability to enjoy it.
Based on Chapter 6 of Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat.
This article has been updated from a previously published version.
Enjoyed this article? Here are three more that you might find helpful:
Sensuous Eating: Make eating a multisensory experience
Eating Speed Bumps: How to slow down to think as you eat
Sensuous Eating: Make eating a multisensory experience
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The 2nd activity in the Am I Hungry? 7-day Mindful Self-Care Challenge is Love What You Do.
Moving mindfully—in other words, choosing and doing physical activity with intention and attention—helps you discover what inspires, challenges, and rewards you so you’ll love what you do!
Becoming more attentive helps you appreciate the privilege of moving your body and allows you to experience the joy of being fully present in the moment. In this way, exercise is no longer a means to an end but an end in and of itself.
Making time to move your body—walking, dancing, stretching, something new—is an essential act of self-care. Using the opportunity to tune into the present moment makes it mindful.
Move with intention:Be purposeful when you choose your activities.
- Choose activities that suit your personality and mood.
- Choose activities that meet your body’s physical needs.
- Move with the goal of feeling better when you’re finished.
Move with attention:Be attentive during your activities.
- Become aware of your surroundings, physical sensations, thoughts, and feelings.
- Listen to your body’s cues of intensity, discomfort, and fatigue.
- Appreciate your body’s stamina, flexibility, and strength.
Body-Mind-Heart Scan during activityBecome centeredTune into the experience and become aware of your body and your surroundings. Pay attention to the sights, sounds, aromas, weather, and other people in your environment.
Focus on your physical sensationsConnect with your body. Tune into your breath, your heart rate, and other sensations. How does your body feel as you move? How do different activities and intensities feel? What do you need to do to make it more comfortable, challenging, or enjoyable?
Focus on your thoughtsWhat thoughts are running through your mind? What feelings are your thoughts creating? How are your thoughts affecting your experience with this activity?
Focus on your feelings Become aware of your emotions. What feelings do you have about being active? Are you having fun or feeling punished? Are you enjoying the atmosphere, the other people, and the experience?
When you move with the intention of caring for yourself, you’ll choose activities that you find enjoyable while still challenging. When you’re attentive, you’ll appreciate your body’s incredible capacity to move.
Bring your full awareness to your physical activity this week to experience the power of mindfulness. (See FreeTreat e-book for details).
Please post a comment to tell us about some of your mindful movements.
(From chapter 24 of Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat.)
This article has been updated from a previously published version.
Enjoyed this article? Here are three more that you might find helpful:
How to Stop Using Exercise as Punishment for Eating
Diet and Activity Trackers: The Next Generation of Misused Tools
The Italian Treadmill: Do What You Love, Love What You Do
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Create Self-Care Space is the first activity in the Am I Hungry? 7-day Mindful Self-Care Challenge.
Self-care sounds nice, and most of us feel it’s important. Doing it is a different story!
It’s easy to allow distractions, disruptions, busyness, and even doubt get in the way of creating the necessary time and space for self-care.
Make Yourself a PriorityTo commit to self-care, you’ll need to first establish the mindset of “It’s worth it!”
If you’re not already convinced of the value of self-care, make a list of the potential benefits.
Perhaps more important, you have to decide “I’m worth it!” Only then will you give yourself permission to invest the time and energy in self-care when other priorities compete for your attention.
Create Time for Self-CareSchedule time in your calendar or planner for a self-care date with yourself. Half an hour to an hour each day would be perfect. Protect the time carefully.
Making time for self-care is the hardest when you are busy. That is also the time you need it most!
Remind yourself the time you invest in caring for yourself pays off in increased productivity, better mood, and a greater sense of well-being.
Create Space for Self-CareThe purpose of this activity is to create a space for yourself that nourishes calmness, creativity, and connection.
- First, walk slowly around your home and outdoor space and see it with “beginner’s mind,” as though you’ve never been in this space before. Beginner’s mind allows you to see new possibilities. As you notice judgments arise, acknowledge them then move on.
- Notice areas in your home that could be repurposed to create your self-care space. Stay open as you identify as many spaces as possible without ruling anything out. These might include rooms, entry ways, corners, patios, gardens, and workshops.
- Keep your eyes out for comfy chairs, floor pillows, small tables and other surfaces, lighting, attractive containers and other items that might help you create a pleasant, functional space.
- Take a break to let your subconscious mind work out the details. Simply do something else for a while like taking a walk, meditating, or even sleeping on it.
- Now, choose your self-care space (or spaces) and a comfy place to sit.
- Add items that are calming, pleasing, and inspiring. Ideas: pictures of happy moments in your life, flowers or a plant, candles, vacation souvenirs, or anything that makes you go “ahhhh.”
- Ideally, this space is a food-free self-care zone you can escape to whenever you feel like eating and you aren’t hungry. If you don’t eat in this area, you won’t learn to associate it with food. (Of course, you may decide to enjoy water, tea, or coffee when you are relaxing here.)
- Your self-care space is great for relaxing, journaling, reading, meditating, writing, crafting, or anything your heart desires.
- Create a Self-Care Kit to keep your “redirection activities” ready and handy. (See Chapter 3 of Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat for details.)
This article has been updated from a previously published version.
Enjoyed this article? Here are three more that you might find helpful:
Transform Your Relationship with Food
Life lessons from mindful eating
Practicing Self-Care: Mindful Gardening
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Labor Day marks the end of summer barbecues and the beginning of holiday eating. Before our bathing suits are dry, we’ll be sorting through the kid’s Halloween candy while they’re at school, baking holiday cookies, and planning traditional family meals. I love all that, but it’s easy to confuse the holidays with food, like the background music to our lives.
For many people, the holidays have become an excuse to eat foods they don’t allow themselves to have at other times. This special occasion mentality often leads to overeating, discomfort, and guilty thoughts of a New Year’s resolution looming just around the corner.
Another challenge is that “special” occasions are almost a daily occurrence in modern day. Do you remember reading Little House on the Prairie? Laura was so excited to find an orange in her stocking on Christmas morning. Now, in our abundant food environment, we eat out frequently, go to happy hour, and bring donuts in for our co-workers – yet still use these daily events as a reason to eat.
As one of our Am I Hungry? participants put it, “Food has become the background music to my life! It sets the mood, but I hardly pay attention to it anymore.”
Mindful eating returns pleasure to eatingMindful eating helps put food into its proper context. By becoming mindful of our connections with food and more intentional about connecting with the present experience of eating, food returns to a lovely way to bring pleasure into our daily lives and significance to special occasions.
Mindful eating also helps us recognize when eating has become our primary source of pleasure. Finding that delicate balance may be even more challenging, but also more important during the coming holidays when delicious food is everywhere.
So, when food is the main event, allow it to be a symphony (or a rock concert if you prefer!), not the background music. Just remember to ask yourself, “If this occasion is so special, why would I want to ruin it by eating too much and feeling miserable afterward?”
This article has been updated from a previously published version.
Enjoyed this article? Here are three more that you might find helpful:
Emotional Eating during the Holidays
Three Ways to Handle Triggers for Holiday Overeating
7 Tips for Guilt-Free Holiday Eating – the Mindful Way!
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If you're like most people, you hate the scale. Here's how to begin to love your body instead.
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Stuck in the diet cycle but afraid to try mindful eating? Let go of your old habits and commit to trying something new! After all the old way isn't working.
The post Stuck in a diet cycle? Bring on the new! appeared first on Am I Hungry?.
As we celebrate Independence Day in the U.S., take a moment to celebrate your freedom from dieting and overeating (or consider what that would be like)!
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Be aware! In an effort to catch the rising anti-diet tide, many diets now claim they are “not a diet.” Here are signs your eating plan is really a diet.
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Preventive eating is eating now to prevent hunger in the future when eating might be inconvenient. It is usually a result of fear. Here's what you can do...
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Discover simple steps for getting out of autopilot. Mindful eating and diabetes self-management work beautifully together!
The post Mindful Eating and Diabetes: Get Out of Autopilot appeared first on Am I Hungry?.
Before every action, there’s a fleeting moment that holds the power of choice. When you pause to check in, perhaps with a body-mind-heart scan, you can choose your next action. Read on to learn how to identify and access the power of the pause.
The power of the pause“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” ― Viktor E. Frankl
Between every thought and action, there is a gap. That gap holds the power to move you from reaction to response. And that can change everything about the way you manage your eating!
In order to access the power in the gap, pause.
Think about it. When you don’t pause to consider what is happening in the present moment and instead, react mindlessly, your brain has no choice but to re-act―in other words, to repeat past actions.
No wonder you keep getting the same results!
Enter the pauseA lot of us spend most of our lives in autopilot mode. Like one of those perpetual motion toys, just push start and off we go bouncing from one thing to the next without thinking about why we are doing the things we do. Not until afterward anyway.
The most challenging part is the most simple: Remembering to pause.
Maybe you’re in autopilot mode right now.Let’s try in now: Pause.
Take a slow, deep breath. Feel your chest and belly expand as your lungs fill with life-giving air. Exhale.
Inhale and exhale again. This time, listen. Look. See. Feel.
Notice everything around you as if it were for the first time. Because the truth is, you are experiencing this moment for the first—and the last—time.
(Read more about Beginner’s Mind.)
When you did this little exercise, what did you notice that you weren’t aware of even a few moments earlier? What did you hear that you hadn’t noticed before? What in your surroundings did you see for the first time today?
I’ll bet you were surprised. Isn’t it amazing how much new information you discovered in that brief pause?
Pause before eatingNow imagine this scenario: You’re watching television and you suddenly feel like heading to the kitchen to find something to eat.
Instead of just acting on autopilot, remember to pause. In addition to the desire to eat, notice what else is happening right now. Think back to the exercise you just did… What other information is available to help you decide what to do next?
Body-Mind-Heart ScanOne of the many essential skills we teach in the Eat What You Love Love What You Eat book series is the Body-Mind-Heart Scan.
This skill is particularly valuable when you feel like eating but aren’t sure whether it’s from physical hunger or head hunger. When you take a moment to pause to become fully present and mindful, you can better identify your true needs.
PauseIf possible, close your eyes for a moment to decrease external distractions. Take a few deep breaths and calm yourself. Be aware that being near food or thinking about eating might cause you to feel excited or anxious, making it more difficult to identify the signs of hunger. By taking a few calming breaths first, you’ll reconnect your body and mind, making it easier to focus on important sensations and feelings.
BodyIn your mind’s eye, scan your body from head to toe.
- What physical sensations are you aware of? Are you thirsty or tired? Are you aware of any tension, discomfort, or pain? Does your body feel good?
- Ask yourself, “Am I hungry?“ Connect with your body by placing your hand on your upper abdomen, just below your rib cage.
- Picture your stomach. Are there pangs or gnawing sensations? Is there any growling or rumbling? Think of a balloon and try to imagine how full it is. When empty, your stomach is about the size of your fist and can stretch several times that size when full. Does your stomach feel empty, full, or even stuffed? Perhaps you don’t feel your stomach at all.
- Notice other physical sensations. Do you feel edgy, light-headed, or weak? Are these signals coming from hunger, low blood sugar, or something else? This is a great opportunity to become mindful of your body’s signals and reconnect with your inner self.
MindNotice what you’re thinking without judgment. Your thoughts may give you clues about whether or not you’re physically hungry.
For example, if you’re thinking something like, “It’s been three hours since lunch, so I should be hungry,” or “I might not have time to eat later,” you may be looking for a reason to eat.
If you find yourself rationalizing or justifying what you’re about to eat, it may indicate you aren’t hungry. (Another possibility is that you’re hungry, but struggle with restrictive eating. Read more about Fearless Eating.)
HeartWhat emotions are you experiencing now? What feelings are you aware of? When you pause to become aware of your emotions, you’re better able to explore whether they are affecting your desire to eat―and even what or how much you want to eat.
Be curious! Like any new skill, the Body-Mind-Heart Scan becomes more natural with practice. The key is to pause and discover the power in this present moment!
(This article has been updated from a previously published version.)
Enjoyed this article? Here are three more to help you:
What motivates you?
A common but often unrecognized trigger for overeating.
How to stop using exercise as a punishment for eating.
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How can you end emotional eating?
You can’t!
Eating for emotional reasons is normal—we all do it! As humans we associate food with pleasure and comfort from our first moments of feeding, to birthday cakes, to pleasant memories of backyard burgers with our families.
Food adds pleasure and comfort to our lives in many ways that are deeply tied to traditions as well as our emotions and memories. And there is nothing wrong with that!
So how does emotional eating become a problem for many people?
Why you eat is as important as what you eat!In my video, Why do I keep struggling with the same eating issues?, I shared the realization that why I was eating affected every decision that followed, including my food choices. So, when I am eating because of emotional triggers, it affects when I feel like eating, what I want to eat, how I eat it, and definitely how much I eat!
So think about why you eat, when you eat, and what you eat and let’s do a little more work to figure out the clues left by your emotional eating triggers.
It is clear from your comments on that video that you want to end emotional eating that disconnects you from taking care of your true needs, so you can live fully and vibrantly. But how do you know what those needs are?
Look for clues in your emotions.Sometimes we feel like eating all day, but nothing we eat seems to satisfy our desire for food. When this happens, we know there is probably something besides hunger triggering our desire to eat.When we recognize that eating isn’t going to satisfy this particular “hunger,” we can take a closer look at the emotions that may be driving the cravings.Our emotions at these times are clues that point us toward what our true needs are.
When a craving doesn’t come from hunger, eating probably won’t satisfy it. Your emotions give you clues about how to meet your true needs.
Emotional Eating and the Overeating CycleEating out of habit or for emotional reasons can create a predictable pattern called the Overeating Cycle.
The Overeating Cycle often leads to a seemingly endless pattern of overeating, feeling guilty, restricting or depriving yourself of food as punishment, then overeating again. This is a pattern we call the eat-repent-repeat cycle.In order to break this vicious cycle, it is necessary to take a closer look at why you eat.Want to learn more about the Overeating Cycle? Read this post.Decode your emotions.Identifying why you eat is sometimes the easy part.
I am sad. I was mad. I feel lonely. So, you know you eat when you’re sad. Now, what do you do about it?
Many of you shared that you struggle food and want to end emotional eating. Use the fill-in-the-blank script I shared with you in the video to decode you emotions:
- Think about a situation when you are more likely to overeat.
- Identify the emotion(s) you typically experience in that situation.
- Think about what that emotion is telling you about your underlying need(s).
- Now, what is one small step you can take now to meet that need more effectively than eating?
Next, in this video, I shed light on a very common but often unrecognized trigger for overeating.
(This article has been updated from a previously published version.)
Did you enjoy this post? Check out these other posts on emotional eating and mindful eating:
Why do I overeat when I’m stressed?
What if I binge because I feel a lack of love and belonging?
How to Make Sense of Your Eating Issues
We explore all these topics in detail in our Level 1 Mindful Eating Support Community. Click here to learn more!
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By Megrette Fletcher, M.Ed, RD, CDCESMindful eating has captured the attention of people with diabetes who crave an alternative to conventional restrictive approaches to diabetes management. Some people think mindful eating just means slowing down, chewing your food, and savoring each bite. Others think mindful eating is paying more attention to what, when, or how much you eat. Am I Hungry? Mindful Eating for Diabetes helps you because it includes all of this and much more. This post will answer your question: What is mindful eating and how can it help my diabetes?
The power of the present momentWhen mindfulness, which I’ll define as choosing to be aware of your current experience, is combined with eating, there’s a major shift in the way you think about food. Instead of focusing on what you can’t eat or what you should have eaten instead, pause and observe what is present in you.
“Huh? All I have to do is just pay more attention? That sounds too simple!” Actually, this small step can be quite challenging because paying attention is a skill. Learning any new skill requires practice; the more you practice, the better you become at it.
Many people eat on autopilot, without awareness of their experience. Awareness of the present moment allows you to choose your actions, rather than repeating past actions out of habit.
Bring enjoyment back to eating, even with diabetes!Unfortunately many people with diabetes have been taught to eat less, count carbohydrates, and feel guilty when their blood sugars are high. Having someone ask you to think about the bite in your mouth and decide if the food you’re eating tastes good may seem irrelevant compared to paying attention to whether you’re eating “right.”
“Wait a second. You want me to taste my food now?” Exactly! Mindful eating is becoming aware of information that is available only to you.
My clients are surprised when I ask them to try to notice the flavors of the food they’re eating. People often think they love a particular food, but there are many reasons why that same food doesn’t always taste as good. For example, maybe you feel rushed, not hungry (or not hungry anymore), excited by the conversation, or something as simple as having recently brushed your teeth. Sometimes the way the food was prepared isn’t appealing to you.
Unless you take a moment to notice, you may mindlessly eat something that doesn’t even taste good!
Try mindful eating to see how it helps For the next several snacks or meals, take a bite then pause for a moment and notice how the food really tastes. Why? Because there is no test, instrument, or machine that can measure how a food tastes to you. The only way to know if something tastes good to you is to taste it and notice. * Rate the bite on a scale of 1 (not very good) to 10 (wonderful). Continue rating each bite. * Become curious! Ask yourself lots of questions. What do you enjoy about that bite? Is it delicious because it’s warm and chewy? Refreshing because it’s cold and crisp? What tastes–sweet, sour, salty, bitter, or umami–am I getting from this food? Can I identify any specific ingredients? Do I have any memories associated with these flavors? * Eating mindfully helps you notice your enjoyment of food changing as you eat. Something that tastes good at first may lose its appeal after a few bites. Noticing this shift can help you place your fork down, recognizing you aren’t stopping because you have to, but because you want* to when the food no longer tastes wonderful.
Tasting your food is just one piece of the puzzle, but enjoying your food is an important part of mindful eating with diabetes!
This article was updated from a previous version.
Enjoyed this article? Here are three more to help you:
Weight Loss and Diabetes
Can you eat snacks and desserts with diabetes?
Deprivation: A Hidden Trigger for Eating
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For 20+ years of yoyo dieting, I thought there was something wrong with me that needed to be fixed. Ironically, with every diet-try, I became more convinced. The diets seemed to work. Until they didn’t. Then I blamed myself. If that sounds familiar, it’s time for a radical shift in the way you manage your eating!
Yoyo dieting confirmed my worst fears Around and around I went…
If I thought there was something wrong with me before, yoyo dieting confirmed it.
What I didn’t realize then, but is clear to me now, is that yoyo dieting is a never ending cycle that reinforces itself.
Let’s take a look at the consequences of dieting on your well-being—body, mind, heart, and spirit—to understand why it’s not sustainable.
Yoyo dieting is bad for your well-beingYour well-being encompasses your physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual health.
BodyDiets focus on what and how much you eat and how many calories you burn with exercise—turning your well-being into a math problem to be solved.
Diets ignore the known effects of restriction on your body. Research has shown the restrictive eating triggers a powerful biological system that reacts to a negative energy balance by lowering your metabolism and increasing hunger, food preoccupation, and hedonic (pleasure) responses to food.(1)
Despite your best efforts, diets are unsustainable. Instead of acknowledging this fact, diet culture pushes you to diet again and again but calls it a “lifestyle change.”
MindA narrow, dogmatic approach to eating is counterintuitive because attempting to do things you know you can’t continue for the rest of your life just doesn’t make sense. Overanalyzing and worrying about every eating decision distracts you from more important aspects of your life and limits your productivity and efficiency.
When you “give in” and eat something you really want, you feel guilty. You promise yourself you’ll be “good” tomorrow, feeding your eat-repent-repeat cycle.
HeartIt’s healthy to have strong emotional connections to food, but most diets limit or eliminate the foods you love, leaving you feeling sad or angry. Eating with others becomes difficult, severing the connection we experience when we commune over a meal. When your family, friends, and coworkers don’t have to follow the same rules, you feel awkward, resentful, or left out. You may reach a point when trying to follow the diet doesn’t seem worth it.
Most important, when your triggers for eating are caused by your underlying unmet needs, the urges to eat don’t go away simply by imposing a strict set of rules. This leaves you feeling overwhelmed by cravings that aren’t satisfied by eating.
SpiritDieting often leads to inner turmoil, guilt, and a sense of disconnection from the way things were intended to be. What could feel less natural and further from spirituality than eating in a manner that leaves you feeling weak, deprived, and even angry?
Requiring rigid rules to guide your eating sends the message you don’t listen to or trust innate wisdom.
A radical turning pointFor me, three things came together to create an end to yoyo dieting and a radical shift in my approach to eating…
- Diet exhaustion. Frankly, I just didn’t want to weigh, measure, and count food – or feel guilty about eating anymore.
- My patients described many of same symptoms and behaviors I had struggled with for years.
- My young children did not!
I realized I wasn’t alone in my frustration with yoyo dieting, but in observing my children, I recognized that it didn’t have to be that way.
Fortunately, this radical shift led me down an entirely new, much wider path.
What’s the alternative?Diet culture is entrenched in the belief that if we don’t try to control our behavior, we’ll be out of control.
But there is a third radical option: We can learn to be in charge instead. (Read chapter 1 free here to learn more about the difference.)
This radical paradigm shift requires us to honestly look at what hasn’t worked in the past and consider the possibility that it’s not our fault. That flies in the face of diet culture’s “blame the dieter” stance (as in “you just didn’t try hard enough.”)
Ask yourself the following questions:
- Has thinking certain foods are “bad” permanently stopped you from wanting them or eating them?
- Do you crave the foods you’re not “supposed” to eat?
- When you eat a “bad” food, do you feel guilty?
- Do you have trouble stopping once you start?
- And does that make you think you need the rules?
- Do you blame yourself for not being able to stick to a diet long-term?
- Or do you think of diets as temporary anyway?
- Are you done with yoyo dieting?
Cutting the string of yoyo dietingThere is a completely different way to think about eating—even if you didn’t know about it before, don’t fully understand it yet, or don’t believe it could work for you.
Unfortunately, some stay people stay trapped in their old paradigm because it’s comfortable and familiar—in other words, safer.
Or they filter what they hear through their old paradigm, take what fits, and ignore what doesn’t—so it pretty much comes out sounding like the same old thing.
You don’t know what you don’t knowEvery day I wake up and recommit myself to our radical mission to change the way the world thinks about eating.
It’s not only possible to break the painful eat-repent-repeat cycle, it is essential!
I have to remind myself the thoughts and beliefs about eating for many of the people I can help the most are deeply ingrained, as mine once were. Of course it will take more in-depth understanding and personal practice to make this radical shift.
If you’re committed to your own radical shift, download chapter 1 of Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat to see the blueprint that will guide you through the process one step at a time. Then choose your path to freedom!
You’ll never look at your eating in the same way again.
(1) Mauldin, K., May, M., Clifford, D. (2022). The consequences of a weight‐centric approach to healthcare: A case for a paradigm shift in how clinicians address body weight. Nutrition in Clinical Practice. https://doi.org/10.1002/ncp.10885
If you enjoyed this article, here are three more to help you:
Diet culture: An outdated paradigm whose time is up
The effects of black and white thinking on eating
Four common eating challenges
The post Yoyo dieting? It’s time for a radical shift appeared first on Am I Hungry?.
Weight cycling (weight loss followed by weight gain), is the frustrating but predictable outcome of yo-yo dieting. Often the common refrain, “I want my body back!” is followed by restrictive dieting that only leads to more weight cycling! Here’s why and what to do instead.
I want my body back!I overheard this conversation in the dressing rooms next to mine:
Woman 1: I want my body baaaaaack!
Woman 2: Me too Mom! After the kids, “things” never went back to the way they were. I’ve deprived myself, tortured myself at the gym, and even begged my doctor for a pill!
Woman 1: I know honey, but I hate to tell you. It isn’t going to get any easier as you get older.
Who “has” your body?I couldn’t get that phrase out of my head… I want my body back!
Where did it go? Who has it? Why did you give it away? Whose body do you have now? How does your body feel about being unwanted?
That familiar phrase, I want my body back, captures a feeling you might identify with too: Feeling so disconnected from your body that you don’t claim it anymore, and instead, wish for a body you “had” in the past—ironically, a body you probably didn’t want then either!
Why does this happen? And what would I have told these women if I’d had the nerve?
How you “lost” your body in the first placeThere are many changes that occur naturally over time affecting the shape, size, and function of your body: Maturation and hormonal changes, childbirth, aging, stress, illnesses and injuries, changes in your environment, activity, and diet—to name just a few.
Fortunately, your amazing body has the incredible ability to morph and adapt to these constantly changing forces. After all, you’re alive and reading this now, aren’t you?
The problem with the natural process of adaptation begins when you head down the wrong path: Disparaging self-talk about your changing body and restrictive dieting to “get your body back.”
You see, there’s a lot of evidence that diets don’t work long term. This is because your body weight is defended by a powerful biological system that reacts to a negative energy balance by lowering your metabolism and increasing hunger, food preoccupation, and hedonic (enjoyment) responses to food.(1)
The eat-repent-repeat cycle that ensues further disconnects you from the body that was doing exactly what it was supposed to do: adapting to change. The added frustration and guilt contribute to internalized weight stigma (which is what I overheard those women expressing in their dressing rooms).
Little did I know that my first diet around age 12 would start me down the path of yo-yo dieting and weight cycling that I faithfully followed for over 25 years. And now I’ve helped thousands of people who had been yo-yo dieting and weight cycling for even longer than that!
Why weight cycling mattersWeight cycling takes a huge toll on your health, energy, money, time, and joy. In fact, some of the issues that have been blamed on weight may be caused or exacerbated by weight cycling!
- Weight cycling is associated with greater weight gain, less physical activity, and a higher prevalence of binge eating.(2)
- Women who weight cycle gain more weight.(3)
- Weight cycling is associated with greater symptoms of depression (3).
- It is also associated with osteoporosis with fractures, high blood pressure, certain types of cancers, heart disease (4), and diabetes.(5)
- In one study of over 500 men, weight cycling was associated with increased mortality, whereas stable “obesity” did not increase mortality.(6) (The term “obesity” is often used in research but pathologizes body size, while studies like this raise questions about that.)
Stop weight cycling and reclaim your body!I resisted the urge to call out over the dressing room wall:
Stop! Don’t talk about your body that way! It’s right there and it can hear you! Stop subjecting it to cruel and unusual punishment for defending itself! There is another way! Even if you don’t know how to do it yet, or it sounds too hard or too good to be true, there IS another way! You AND your body deserve it!
Later I wondered if I should have just said it anyway. I know it would have been rude since they didn’t ask for my opinion—but what if I they had been willing to listen? I could have saved them both many more years of pain and unhappiness.
But you’re not in the dressing room next door. You’re reading this, so I can safely assume you’re at least willing to listen.
STOP. Take your body back and treat it with the respect it deserves!
Take your body back!One of the keys to reclaiming your body is to stop subjecting it to yo-yo dieting and weight cycling. That’s what we teach you how to do at Am I Hungry? Mindful Eating Programs!
Here’s what you’ll learn:
- How to make decisions about food that don’t require you to look anything up or write anything down.
- How to eat the foods you love without losing control or feeling guilty.
- How to love the foods you eat – mindfully and joyfully – without paying penance with extra exercise or future deprivation.
- How to meet your emotional needs without turning to food all the time.
- How to nurture your whole self and create a self-care buffer zone to increase your health, energy, and appetite for life.
If you’ve been reading about mindful eating for awhile but just haven’t taken action, this is your time to overcome the doubt, fear, or inertia that’s keeping you stuck!
- Start reading (or rereading) Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat (even just the first chapter which you can download from this link free!)
- Get guidance and support. We provide Mindful Eating Workshops, a Support Community, self-paced programs, and coaching.
- If you’re ready for transformation, join me for our next Mindful Eating Retreat.
(1) Mauldin, K., May, M., Clifford, D. (2022). The consequences of a weight‐centric approach to healthcare: A case for a paradigm shift in how clinicians address body weight. Nutrition in Clinical Practice. https://doi.org/10.1002/ncp.10885
(2) Field, A. E., Manson, J. E., Taylor, C. B., Willett, W. C., & Colditz, G. A. (2004). Association of weight change, weight control practices, and weight cycling among women in the nurses’ health study II. International Journal of Obesity, 28(9), 1134–1142. https://doi.org/10.1038/sj.ijo.0802728
(3) Madigan, C., et al. (2018). Is weight cycling associated with adverse health outcomes? A cohort study. Preventive Medicine, 108, 47-52.
(4) Tylka, T., et al. (2014.) The weight-inclusive versus weight-normative approach to health: Evaluating the evidence for prioritizing well-being over weight loss. Journal of Obesity.
(5) Park, K.-Y., Hwang, H.-S., Cho, K.-H., Han, K., Nam, G. E., Kim, Y. H., Kwon, Y., & Park, Y.-G. (2019). Body weight fluctuation as a risk factor for type 2 diabetes: Results from a nationwide cohort study. Journal of Clinical Medicine, 8(7), 950. https://doi.org/10.3390/jcm8070950
(6) Rzehak, P., Meisinger, C., Woelke, G., Brasche, S., Strube, G., & Heinrich, J. (2007). Weight change, weight cycling and mortality in the ERFORT male cohort study. European Journal of Epidemiology, 22(10), 665–673. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10654-007-9167-5
This article has been updated from a previously published version.
If you enjoyed this article, here are three more to help you:
Diet culture: An outdated paradigm whose time is up
How Long Does It Take to Learn to Eat Mindfully?
Four common eating challenges
The post “I want my body back!” Then stop weight cycling! appeared first on Am I Hungry?.
Just last week, two people in two different Coaching Groups told me they hadn’t binged in months since using our mindful eating approach. Both said they wouldn’t have believed it was possible. And therein lies the problem… many of the people we can help the most think mindful eating won’t help them. If you’re afraid mindful eating won’t work for you, read on…
Mindful eating isn’t for everyoneIt’s important to acknowledge up front that mindful eating isn’t for everyone. And that’s OK. The way I see it…
- If you already have a great relationship with food, meaning you don’t struggle with why, when, what, and how much you eat, you may not need mindful eating. (Though many people THINK they don’t have issues with food because our culture’s approach to food is so messed up that their behaviors seem pretty “normal”!)
- If you’re not ready to look beyond the scale to understand why you do what you do (instead of trying harder to do what you’ve always done), then this may not be the right time for you.
- If you feel you must try one more diet first, then maybe you should. Just keep in mind how many other times you thought, “This will be it!”
Will mindful eating work for you?Maybe you’re hesitating to try mindful eating because although it sounds great, you are afraid that mindful eating won’t work for you. The truth is, I can’t guarantee that it will.
But, if you don’t give yourself the opportunity to look at eating in an entirely new way, I guarantee it won’t! And year after year, you’ll probably find yourself continuing to struggle with the same eating challenges (at least that’s what I did).
Your fears and doubtsWhat are some of the fears and doubts you have about learning to manage your eating mindfully – without restriction, deprivation, or guilt? In other words, can you really learn to eat joyfully, fearlessly, mindfully, and with the intention of fueling the big, vibrant life you crave?
- If I give up logging food, I’m afraid I’ll lose control!You won’t lose control, but you’ll happily give up control because you’ll learn to be in charge instead.
You see, being in control is about holding on tight, obsessing, worrying, thinking about food (or not eating food) all the time, and using too much of your attention and energy on something that should be completely natural and nearly effortless!
This may not be true of other mindful eating programs, but in Am I Hungry? one of the key lessons you’ll learn is how to be in charge instead of trying to stay in control all the time. What’s the difference? Being in charge means you make conscious decisions based on what’s right for you in the present moment. You don’t have to look food up and write food down. You don’t need to know ahead of time what’s on the menu or decide what you’re going to eat for dinner before you even have breakfast. It means you can eat birthday cake without saving up—or denying yourself afterward.
I know that might sound impossible or even scary, and I don’t blame you for feeling afraid. “They’ve” taught you that you need rules. And you’ve proved “they” were right by losing control. But what “they” didn’t tell you (or maybe don’t even know!) is that one of the major reasons you lose control is because of all those rules!
Try this: Every time you feel like eating, pause to notice whether you are hungry. Can you tell? What symptoms do you have? How hungry are you? (Use the Hunger and Fullness scale I taught you about in this video.) If you aren’t hungry, do you know why you feel like eating? Do you know what to do?
Am I Hungry? Mindful Eating Programs will give you answers to all these questions and much, much more!
And I promise: You’ll relearn how to use your natural signals of hunger and satiety to guide your eating—and what to do when you want to eat when you aren’t hungry!
- Sometimes I feel like I’m addicted to food!I get it! During my 20+ years of yo-yo dieting, I felt like I was addicted to food too!
When I’d finally give in and eat the foods I was craving but wasn’t supposed to have, it was SO hard to stop eating them.
Of course it was! I kept telling myself, I shouldn’t be eating this! I won’t eat this again! I’ve already blown it, so I might as well eat it all and start over tomorrow! Of course I felt powerless!
It’s not like that anymore! I can eat what I love without fear of losing control. And you can too!
Our strategies for “Fearless Eating” shows you how to eat what you love without guilt. We’ll learn how to make decisions about eating no matter where you are or what is happening. (Be sure to watch this video for 3 questions to ask yourself.) You’ll learn how to balance eating for health with eating for pleasure. We work on your specific health goals and much, much more!
Try this: Notice how often you:
- think of foods as good or bad (whether you eat them or not).
- avoid (or try to avoid) something you really, really want.
- feel like you are “out of control.”
- you are thinking about food even when you’re not hungry.
Stop “white-knuckling it” because you’re afraid of losing control around certain foods (sugar, bread, chips, pizza, and on and on). It doesn’t have to be like that… unless you prefer to hold onto that fear instead of trusting there might be another option.
- I eat my emotions.Lots of people do! In fact, emotional eating is a normal part of human behavior.
The problem comes when you aren’t able to interpret your emotions and meet your true needs. When you eat instead of dealing with whatever caused the urge, you are missing an opportunity to take care of yourself. No wonder you don’t feel your best! And no wonder the urge to eat keeps coming back! (Did you see my video about the two buckets?)
One of the most important steps in healing your relationship with food is learning how to identify, name, manage, and decode your emotions. In Am I Hungry? Mindful Eating Programs we explore your specific triggers for eating and how to meet your real needs better than food ever could.
Try this: Notice when you feel like eating but you aren’t hungry—or feel like continuing to eat past the point of comfort. Do you know why? What might you need instead of food?
Many of us didn’t learn the language of emotions in childhood. Instead, we learned to power through, pretend everything was fine, then eat in secret. You deserve better than that!
- It sounds too good to be true.If I hadn’t been living a vibrant life free of the eat-repeat-repent cycle for more than two decades, I might not believe it was possible either!
And if I hadn’t taught thousands of others how to free themselves and live their vibrant lives, I might not be so passionate about teaching you how to do it too!
Diet culture pretends that going on one diet after another and calling it a lifestyle change is sustainable. The research has shown that a restrictive approach to eating doesn’t work for long for almost anyone.
Am I Hungry? Mindful Eating Programs we explore the behaviors that support your optimal well-being and peel back the layers on how lasting change takes place. We’ll strengthen your self-care voice and give you an inside-out approach to caring for you body, mind, heart, and spirit.
I’m not saying it’s easy. You’ve practiced your old habits for decades, so the underlying causes are now mostly invisible to you.
But with an experienced guide to help you uncover your outdated beliefs and teach you new ways to think, feel, and act, you will be amazed at how you can replace eating with living your vibrant life.
Try this: Notice your self-talk. What are you whispering to yourself about your appearance, your eating, your physical activity, and your worthiness? How do these thoughts make you feel? Are they helping or hurting you?
Here’s what Alessia said about her break-throughs:What I have most appreciated about mindful eating group coaching is the discovery that I am not alone in dealing with my problems with food. In other people I found a piece of myself. Their story was partly mine too. And in their sharing, I could understand patterns with food I had been carrying for a lifetime. Listening to other people has helped me to be more human, more loving and compassionate, able to accept their vulnerability and mine, to love that part that is struggling but which is trying hard to heal and make peace. All under the attentive, patient, loving and wise presence of Michelle who helps us find the most functional answers and strategies for each of us.
This article has been updated from a previously published version.
If you enjoyed this article, here are three more to help you:
How Long Does It Take to Learn to Eat Mindfully?
Four common eating challenges
I can’t eat what I love without overeating!
The post Are you afraid mindful eating won’t work for you? appeared first on Am I Hungry?.
The connection between binge eating disorder and bariatric surgery is complex and unclear. Stay with me here… Many people in large bodies (actually people in all size bodies!) attempt to change their body size with restrictive methods, including various diets and programs. Restrictive eating is a risk factor for binge eating. Some people who binge eat live in a large body (though certainly not all). Some people in large bodies seek bariatric surgery, and some of those have BED. Some people with BED and higher weight are unfortunately referred for bariatric surgery instead of treatment for binge eating. Further, since people who have had bariatric surgery are typically advised to follow a restricted eating plan, they may be prone to binge eating. And finally, bariatric surgery does not address the underlying drivers for binge eating and binge eating may increase the complications after bariatric surgery.
In this post, we’ll explore the complex topic of binge eating and bariatric surgery with a small group of real people who had both.
BED and WLSDuring one of our Am I Hungry? Mindful Eating for Binge Eating Retreats, it became clear how common the overlap of binge eating and bariatric surgery is. Five of the retreat participants (more than a third!) struggling with binge eating had already had bariatric surgery (weight loss surgery or WLS).
I asked if they would be willing to sit down with me and talk about their experiences. They all enthusiastically consented, saying they hoped it would help other people who were struggling with binge eating disorder (BED) after bariatric surgery. (However, this is a stock photo since I did not ask for permission to share their photos.)
In our small sample size, there were several interesting findings about BED after WLS:
- They were all at least two years out from their weight loss surgeries. (We are less likely to see people during the “honeymoon” period after bariatric surgery when it seems all is well.)
- They had had a variety of procedures: Roux-en-Y gastric bypass, gastric sleeve, and adjustable gastric band. One of them had a band that was later converted to a sleeve.
- They all said they had symptoms of binge eating disorder prior to their procedures.
- They had hoped bariatric surgery would “fix” their problem but it hadn’t. That’s why they had decided to do the Am I Hungry? Mindful Eating for Binge Eating Program.
Let me first share some of the things they told me (anonymously but with their permission of course). Their comments provide a lot of insight into the complexity of BED and WLS. After that, I’ll talk about my take-aways from working with them during the retreat.
Observations about Bariatric Surgery and Binge Eating“I was never diagnosed with Binge Eating Disorder prior to the surgery. But I had it.”
“I’ve always felt that I was missing something. Something must be wrong with me—was I missing willpower? I am very successful in my work though, so I figured there had to be another answer.”
“I’ve been on a diet my whole life and that never cured my binge eating! Having surgery was just another diet.”
“I’ve been going to the yearly follow-up but I’ve been gradually regaining weight.”
“My surgery team told me the surgery was only a tool but I didn’t want to listen. They kept saying ‘You have to make changes,’ but they don’t tell you how to make changes.”
“I took an Am I Hungry? Mindful Eating Workshop before surgery so my expectations were more realistic.”
“I’m glad I had the surgery; it allowed me to become more active, which I love. Now I need to deal with my binge eating disorder.”
“I had been going to support groups for two years but all they do is support you. They didn’t actually tell us how to heal our relationship with food.”
“The procedure was effective for weight loss, but now I am medical care-dependent.”
“Until I learned mindful eating, I still wasn’t free of my issues with food!”
“I don’t regret having the surgery. I had the lab work of a 70 year-old woman. I had a Lap Band in 2009. I lost 40 pounds on a diet so I could have the surgery, then I lost 100 pounds after surgery. I have regained 40 pounds so far, so I am here to finally address my binge eating.”
“I always eat – I’m never hungry, never full.”
“I was told that if you eat too much too fast, the food will get stuck. That’s all I had learned about mindful eating until now.”
“Since my surgery, I eat to throw up.”
“I had the band. I could eat a Snickers bar, but not protein so I just stick to “slider” foods or “cheater” foods.”
“My mother had weight loss surgery too and only ate junk food afterward. That isn’t healthy either and I don’t want it to be like that.”
“I am seeing a therapist now.”
My take-aways about binge eating and bariatric surgeryI loved working with these individuals because they were obviously highly motivated to get better. After all, they had even had a surgical procedure to try to stop binge eating. Having already gone through bariatric surgery, they clearly understood that binge eating wasn’t going to be fixed by one more diet. (Listen to Jenn’s Story: Learning to love herself.)
Most were glad they’d had bariatric surgery but were disappointed and even surprised that it hadn’t stopped them from binge eating. As we explore in the Am I Hungry? Mindful Eating for Bariatric Surgery program, maladaptive eating is a common challenge for people after weight loss surgery and can lead to complications and weight regain.
Unfortunately, too many people (and health care professionals) think the problem is weight and miss the diagnosis of BED, or prescribe the wrong treatment: weight loss. (Be sure to read this post too: What is the Association Between Weight and Binge Eating Disorder?) Ultimately, it is essential to resolve the underlying issues driving the binge eating.
During the retreat, these participants learned that it wasn’t about the food or about having enough willpower. They learned to tell the difference between meeting their needs for fuel and meeting their other needs. Together, we had many lovely mindful meals and mindful movement opportunities. I am happy to say that they are now on the right track toward healing their relationship with food and their body!
This article has been updated from a previously published version.
If you enjoyed this article, here are three more to help you:
Mindless and Emotional Eating after Bariatric Surgery
Symptoms of maladaptive eating after bariatric surgery
What is the Association Between Weight and Binge Eating Disorder?
The post Binge Eating and Bariatric Surgery appeared first on Am I Hungry?.
Let mindful eating guide you instead!My husband and I went hiking in beautiful Utah during the pandemic. I can never resist a good metaphor, so here it is: Following a hiking trail instead of the taking the scenic route is like letting mindful eating guide you instead of remaining stuck in old patterns.
Here’s how this metaphor came up… One of our favorite of The Big Five is Arches National Park. We drove in before 7:00 am to catch a sunrise on the trail and beat the crowds. (What do you think of my photo at Partition Arch just after sunrise?)
We hiked deep into the park, discovering over a dozen arches, not all of them identified on our map. When we finally circled back to the main trail four hours later, I was surprised to see how many people had arrived!
Most tourists followed the paths to the first three arches (which are awesome!), then headed back to their cars to continue the scenic drive through the park. Not that there’s anything wrong with that! After all, we were all just trying to experience a bit of nature and a change of pace.
However, it occurred to me that sticking to the scenic drive instead of exploring the trails is like (here comes the metaphor…) following familiar patterns of yo-yo dieting instead of letting mindful eating guide you.
The scenic route is safeI get it! Following a familiar variation of “eat less, exercise more” keeps you on the scenic route of your life – seemingly safe because it feels predictable: Eat. Repent. Repeat.
The truth is, the Am I Hungry? approach to mindful eating will take you out of your comfort zone and open a whole new world for you to explore!
The Mindful Eating Cycle will serve as your ever-present guide to eating, like these rock cairns in Canyonlands National Park that always made our trail clear and simple to follow.
I obviously had a lot of time to think while hiking!
Stick with me here… again, I am not judging people who can’t or don’t want to hike. You do you.
My point is, if you’re a person who has struggled with your eating for a long time and have tried one diet program after another, perhaps it’s time to get off the beaten path!
Can mindful eating guide you to a peaceful relationship with food?I took this photo to show you what inspired the metaphor of your mindful eating guide. We were following a trail to Double O Arch when this trail sign seemed to point to the end of the giant rock “fin” we were walking on – see our shadows below?
It was a little scary, but we had to simply trust that someone knew what they were doing! Sure enough, when we got to the end, there was an easy way down to continue our journey.
If you just might be ready to begin your journey to a more peaceful, joyful relationship with food, we would love to be your guide! Click here to see the different ways we guide you to eat mindfully. (And here’s how you can grab one of the few remaining seats in our next Mindful Eating Support Community Level 1 series!)
Your Guide to Mindful EatingI know it can feel a little scary, even risky, to try something new, but believe me, you are not going there alone. You will have a guide and a map to take you to a completely new place in your relationship with food.
- You will discover amazing new things about yourself and why you do what you do.
- You’ll learn to trust yourself to make decisions about eating without looking anything up or writing anything down.
- Enjoy eating when you’re hungry.
- Decide when you’ve had enough (with ease), and what to do when you eat too much (it’s normal).
- Eat what you love (without guilt or fear of losing control).
- Discover joy in moving your body instead of punishing yourself for eating.
- And most important, you’ll create space to really live that vibrant life you crave!
Please join us to find your way back to a peaceful, joyful relationship with food!
Kind of the way I feel when I see my favorite photo of the whole trip: Mesa Arch at sunrise in Canyonlands National Park!
On to the next adventure…
Enjoyed this article? Here are three more to help you:
How Mindful Eating Helps End Yo-Yo Dieting
Get off the diet tightrope and on a wide path!
How mindful eating opens the door to mindful living
This article was updated from a previous version.
The post Are you stuck on the scenic route in your life? appeared first on Am I Hungry?.
As I stood in the check-out line at a retail cosmetics store, I observed a narrow definition of beauty in the giant posters in the window. This was in sharp contrast to the women waiting their turn to purchase products that promised they too could look like that. While there was some diversity in skin tone and ethnicity, nearly all the images featured women in smaller bodies, reflecting the common problem of weight stigma in photography.
Get the picture?As I looked at the women around me, even catching a glimpse of my own reflection in one of the many mirrors, I noted that no one, not even the sales people behind the counter, looked anything like those huge ads for what our money could (supposedly) buy. Yet I could clearly see uniqueness and beauty in each person.
I’m not surprised to find these images in a place where (mostly) women come to buy beauty—or at least what our culture has been sold as the definition of beauty. It’s everywhere else I turn too: television, movies, magazines, news, websites, social media (especially), and even doctors’ offices.
It’s frustrating to constantly have the “thin-ideal” shoved at us as the epitome of beauty and the picture of health. Everyone has the right to inhabit their body as is—and you can’t tell anything about a person’s health simply by looking at them.
If a picture speaks a 1000 words, they tell the story of weight stigma.Let‘s do a quick experiment…
Look at this picture and notice what comes to mind.
Do you see two people who appear to care about each other, having a good time together? What assumptions do you make about them?
Now scroll down to see this image zoomed out. Now, what stigmatizing features do you notice? I wonder how the models in the photos like these felt about being photographed in this way to portray a story about their lives…
(While this article is focused on weight stigma in photos, body size often intersects with other stigmatized identities such as race, ethnicity, gender, sexuality, and age.)
If a picture speaks a thousand words, these pictures tell the story of weight stigma.
Photos reinforce stereotypes and weight stigmaPhotos are a common source—and cause—of stereotypes and weight stigma. My team and I have viewed literally thousands of photos for our website, blogs, social media, and PowerPoint presentations. We’ve found it incredibly difficult to find beautiful pictures showing the natural diversity of sizes the people around us exhibit.
Instead, we frequently come across many photos of model-thin women happily eating fruit or salads or smugly refusing pastries, as in this image. If they are eating chocolate or other delicious foods, they often look guilty. We also find lots of images showing thin people judging others for their food choices. Of course, these images reinforce stereotypes of thin people, but those stereotypes tend to be viewed as “positive.”
When looking for images of people being physically active, nearly everyone is young and thin—representing only a fraction of the people who exercise regularly. That isn’t a fair characterization.
In contrast, photos of people in larger bodies (when we can find them) are far more likely to be depicted as sedentary and/or gorging on junk food, looking miserable, or ashamed.
If they are exercising, they typically appear to be reluctant, unhappy, or in pain. We also come across photos emphasizing the belly or buttocks, or headless photos implying shame. Dr. Charlotte Cooper dubbed this common media portrayal, “headless fatties.”
It is much harder to find images of people in large bodies (especially at the larger end of the fatness spectrum), and nearly impossible to see them enjoying a variety of delicious foods without appearing mindless or guilty or happily engaged in physical activity—or anything for that matter.
When we finally find great images we can use, we recognize the same models over and over. Surely, there has to be more than a handful of larger-bodied people willing to have a beautiful photo taken of them for money!
Picture yourself: What can you do about weight stigma?When people don’t see themselves represented in the media around them (or worse yet, represented in a negative light), it perpetuates stigma. Weight stigma is a complicated issue, but here are a few steps you can take to tackle this one aspect of the larger problem.
Become conscious of the images you see when looking at any form of media.Do the pictures reflect the true diversity of the sizes and shapes around you? Do they reinforce stereotypes and weight stigma? What is the intended purpose of showing these images—to motivate you to buy a product or an idea? While certain images may be intended to be inspiring, pay attention to how you feel as you view these images. Envious? Less than? Guilty? Ashamed? Hopeless? Notice your physical reactions; your body is giving you clues about the emotional effects images are having on you.
Become aware of your own thoughts, beliefs, and biases.When you look at images of people across the weight spectrum, notice your reaction. This is your explicit bias—prejudice and attitudes you are aware of. To learn more about your implicit bias, the prejudice and attitudes you are not conscious of, take the Weight Implicit Association Test on Project Implicit. Also, be gentle with yourself… you have likely internalized the stigma you see around you. (Here‘s an article to help you explore this: To end weight stigma, start with your own.)
If you see something, say something.News media, bloggers, merchandisers, advertisers, and others may not recognize their own bias. While it is not your responsibility to educate others and you shouldn’t need to, if you have the bandwidth, you can make a difference. (This post was originally inspired by a comment from Christine on another post years ago!)
Curate your media.You cannot control what goes on in the world around you, but you are in charge of what you let in to your brain. Intentionally and regularly view, as Christine suggests, “beautiful images of larger and otherwise diverse bodies to help reset your visual perspective and counter the stereotypical body-shaming images we all see every day.” If a particular magazine, show, website, blog, or “friend” on social media uses images to reinforce stereotypes, steer clear!
Carefully select the images you use.If you are in a position to select images for any form of media, challenge yourself to find images that inspire well-being and self-care, not shame and stigma.This is an incredible business opportunity for photographers and models since online media (like our website and social media accounts) must purchase the rights to use images. One example of a great stock photo site that is intentional about offering images reflecting diversity of all kinds is Body Liberation Stock Photos.
You ought to be in pictures!While internalized weight stigma may make it difficult, allow yourself to be photographed spending time with people you love, engaged in a favorite hobbies and activities, eating something wonderful, having fun, moving your body… whatever you love. Your family and friends will treasure these images someday!
Let’s show the world we honor the diversity of human beings!
This article was updated from a previous version.
Enjoyed this article? Here are three more to help you:
Ending Weight Stigma Part 1
Six Steps to Unconditional Self-Acceptance
It’s Not Funny!
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In Self Acceptance Step 3: Get to Know Yourself Better we explored some ideas on how to dig deep and really get to know the person you spend the most time with…YOU! Now let’s talk about how to get connected to your body.
Connect to the messages your body sends youAs you begin to see your body as more than a lump of clay to be molded into some form you can finally accept, you’ll begin to see your body as the amazing feat of nature that it is!
One of the most amazing things about your body is that it gives you a constant stream of information about what it needs. You can even think of your body as an intricate circuit board and chemistry set that communicates messages to your brain!
Some messages are so fast, you act on them before you notice it, like pulling your hand away from a flame. Some messages help you take action, like when you feel hungry, thirsty, or tired – all symptoms you can ignore if you choose, but will become stronger and more insistent.
Other messages are subtle and easy to disregard, like a need for pleasure or connection, until we realize we are attempting to meet those needs in ineffective ways. Others are uncomfortable, like the need to set boundaries in an important relationship.
When we are in the habit of ignoring the messages our body is trying to give us, we are not able to optimally meet our needs. And sometimes we don’t just ignore the messages; we try to push the symptoms down or soothe them, like eating when we are angry, lonely, or sad.
Becoming curious about your body’s signals and needs will transform your relationship with your body into a partnership.
Journal prompt: Connect with your bodyPause to listen and connect to your body’s quiet whispers.
Why wait? Take a moment to sit back, close your eyes, take a few deep breaths, and get connected to your body. What are you experiencing in the present moment? What is your body telling you it needs (or doesn’t need) right now? Do you need water, food, rest, touch, pleasure, movement, play, or something else?
When you are ready, here’s Self-Acceptance Step 5: Nurture Your Body.
Enjoyed this article? Here are three more to help you:
Fear of Self-Acceptance
Self-Acceptance Step 1: Become Awareness of Your Self-Talk
Self-Acceptance Step 2: Accept Yourself As You Are Right Now
This article was updated from a previous version.
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In Self-Acceptance Step 2: Accept Yourself As You Are Right Now, we talked about how to overcome the barriers that keep us from accepting ourselves as we are. But who are you? The third step to self-acceptance is to get to know yourself better.
You are more than a body!No matter how closely your body conforms (or doesn’t conform) to the cultural ideal, you are more than a body! Take time to do some soul-searching and discover who you really are.
I suggest exploring some of these topics in a journal to help you get to know yourself better. And don’t be modest; let yourself shine!
- What (non-physical) attributes do you like or appreciate about yourself?
- What are your values?
- What are your aspirations?
- What do you like to do?
- What are you good at?
- What comes naturally to you that is difficult for others?
- What do you want to learn?
- What do you really care—or even feel passionately—about?
What might happen if you focused on these attributes instead of putting your life on hold until you reach some arbitrary standard of beauty or health?
Get to know yourself to accept yourselfTake the time to really get to know yourself – the person you spend the most time with. You might realize that it’s pretty easy to love the one you’re with!
Up next: Self Acceptance Step 4: Get Connected
Enjoyed this article? Here are three more to help you:
Fear of Self-Acceptance
Self-Acceptance Step 1: Become Awareness of Your Self-Talk
Self-Acceptance Step 2: Accept Yourself As You Are Right Now
This article was updated from a previous version.
The post Self-Acceptance Step 3: Get to Know Yourself Better appeared first on Am I Hungry?.
Sometimes people I work with have concerns because they are injured and can’t exercise. Whether they have an acute injury (like Cindy’s fracture below), knee pain, or chronic osteoarthritis, an injury can not only disrupt your physical activity but throw you out of balance.
I exercise because I need to!Since I quit dieting many years ago, I no longer exercise because I have to, but because I need to. Exercise provides countless benefits beyond burning calories. Yoga keeps me balanced and calm. Hiking keeps me energetic, productive, and connected. Weight training keeps me strong. And pickleball is just fun!
When I struggled with a right rotator cuff injury for nine months followed by surgery a number of years ago, I was concerned about the potential effects on my energy and mood from not being able to exercise—and so was my husband who had to live with me!
I recalled an #askamihungry question I had received from Cindy. Her concerns were a little different but it raised some important issues while recovering from an injury.
I can’t exercise!“I’ve been following you for a while and have now run into a problem. I broke my ankle in two places and I’m not able to exercise for 4-6 weeks. I can eat mindfully and manage eating when I am not hungry, but I fear without exercise I won’t be able to keep weight off. Any ideas?”
I figured our Facebook community would have some great insights—and they did! We received dozens of comments that I grouped according these four themes:
- Don’t focus on weight; exercise isn’t about that anyway.
- Taking a break for exercise once in a while is a good thing.
- Find something new to do.
- Trust your body; it knows what it needs to heal.
Four ways to deal with an injury that prevents exercise1. Don’t focus on weight; exercise isn’t about that anyway.Too often people use exercise to earn the right to eat or pay penance for eating. That’s a very narrow view of the tremendous benefits that exercise offers. Here’s what others said:
Celia: Working out doesn’t earn you more calories.
Emilie: Sometimes you gain weight. It isn’t the end of life. Focus on getting better.” She added, “Rest isn’t about sitting on the easy chair waiting to heal; active recovery will make getting back to normal much easier.
Charlene: I’d like to offer a broader question than ‘how do I keep from gaining weight?’ to ‘how do I exquisitely care for myself during this time of injury, pain, and healing?’ The three questions from the Am I Hungry? Mindful Eating Program, What do I want? What do I need? What do I have?, can also be applied to the physical, mental, and spiritual aspects of our lives. You’ll find answers and strength during this unexpected event regardless of what happens to your weight. It’s about so much more than numbers on a scale.
Debbie: Sometimes I get a client that struggles with this issue in eating disorder work. What I might ask is, what is this about if it wasn’t about the weight of the body? If it is about physical health and anxiety reducing, we focus on tools to reduce anxiety (or other difficult emotions like feeling helpless etc.). I’d ideally have a physical therapist work with her to do what’s safe for that injury stating that the goal is to be well enough sooner to move again.
(Debbie also shared an article called 12 Signs You’re Exercising Too Much and said, “This article is very personal for me, because I struggled with compulsive exercise for years. Today, I don’t work out or exercise; I move my body. I move to cultivate clarity, creativity, and energy.”)
- Taking a break from exercise once in a while is a good thing.Most experts agree that taking a break from your usual routine is actually a good thing. It allows your body to rest and recover, with surprisingly little loss in fitness (depending on the length of time of course).
Allen: I was told no running for the next 2 to 3 weeks. Just eat good real food and watch the amount.
Donna: I did a relaxation meditation with a client who had to quit running/exercising temporarily, too. I incorporated in the meditation a visualization of her preparing to run, warming up, running, and even getting into the “zone.” Then we proceeded with her cooling down in the visualization. She found it effective.
- Find something new to do.This “limitation” may actually turn out to be an opportunity to discover other activities you enjoy—or at least learn to appreciate your usual activities even more!
Emilie: When my friend broke her ankle, she found that doing everyday things with the cast was a lot of exercise. Also, she could still lift arm weights sitting down which was good for overall strength.
Heather: Do upper body weights and try a stationary bike once it starts to heal.
Camerin: When I had foot surgery, I rented a scooter to rest my bent knee on to get around. It was much easier than crutches and I was pretty mobile on our hardwood floors and outside. You’ll use muscles you never knew you had!
Michele: Are you able to swim?
- Trust your body; it knows what it needs to heal.I love the message, “Trust your body!” which is what Am I Hungry? Mindful Eating Programs is all about: Learning to listen to and trust your body’s wisdom. Pain is a sign that something is wrong, so pay attention and give your body time to heal.
Melissa: Your body will adjust to less exercise. Focus on being mindful, not on your weight.
Sumner: Trust your body and your hunger. Move in ways that feel good and are safe. Know that it’s OK even if your weight does shift some; it doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong.
Debbie: What’s so terrible about rest and not exercising for a period of healing time? Whose voice gets to be in charge of the healing plan? The inner critical parent voice or the gentle firm good parent voice?
Cindy replied:“Thanks to everyone who responded! I decided the most important thing is for me to heal. If I don’t heal correctly, it won’t get better. So I’m going to focus on upper body exercises and following the Am I Hungry? program. Thanks again!”
As for me, after my shoulder surgery, I switched to walking, doing lower body stretches and core exercises, and going to physical therapy. When I was able to re-start my favorite activities, it was with a renewed sense of appreciation for what I’m able to do!
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A good question came up during a Group Coaching session with the Am I Hungry? Mindful Eating Support Community about whether giving up sugar for Lent is restrictive. I’m sharing my answer because it is a timely question and also applies to similar issues that come up as we make decisions about what to eat in the context of a mindful, non-diet approach to eating.
Q – I have been practicing mindful eating for a while now and I am doing much better in terms of resolving yo-yo dieting and guilt. However, I decided to give up sugar for Lent and I’m worried about whether that is restrictive and whether this could set me back. #AskAmIHungry
A – Congratulations on your progress! Learning how to choose freely from all foods without guilt (and freeing yourself from the resulting overeating) is an essential step toward healing your relationship with food.
While giving up sugar for Lent could feel restrictive and therefore could lead back to an “eat-repent-repeat” cycle, it really depends on your intention when you made that decision and how you think about your decision during this period of time.
Like other spiritual disciplines such as fasting, the purpose of giving up a habit or sacrificing other “earthly” luxuries (such as television) during Lent is to develop a closer relationship with God. If that was your intention for giving up sugar (or chocolate or other pleasurable foods) and if that remains your focus throughout the Lenten season, it is much less likely to trigger feelings of deprivation.
If, however, your intention was to use Lent as an “excuse” to “make” yourself give up sugar, then you have turned this spiritual practice into a diet. Similarly, if your intention was to use Lent to lose weight, then giving up sugar for Lent is more likely to fuel the Restrictive Eating Cycle which, as you know, will often lead you right back to the Overeating Cycle (and a chocolate bunny binge on Easter)!
What is your intention for giving up sugar during Lent?Whatever your reasons (conscious or subconscious), since you’ve already made this commitment, you can decide whether you are able to reframe your decision, so it is not about restriction, but about connection. For example:
- Can you mindfully use this time to reflect on your relationship with food and ways it may be interfering with your connection to God, yourself, and/or others?
- Can you use this time to build your self-care buffer zone by redirecting your attention to other practices such as prayer, meditation, reading, or journaling?
- If cravings come up, can you gently remind yourself this was a choice for a purpose, not something you were forced to do?
- Can you pay attention to the lessons you learn from this practice?
- When Lent is over, can you make a conscious decision about how you’ll incorporate sugar into your life in a way that feels good – body, mind, and spirit?
- As you celebrate with family and friends, can you eat mindfully and joyfully without “making up for deprivation” and without planning to repent for eating what you love?
Ultimately, consciously deciding not to eat a particular food for religious, ethical, or health reasons is not in itself restrictive, and therefore does not necessarily lead to feelings of deprivation. It is the intention, thoughts, and beliefs you hold about the decision that makes all the difference.
This article has been updated from a previously published version.
Enjoyed this article? Here are three more to help you:
Chocolat: Not What We Resist but What We Create
Is Sugar Addiction Real? A friendly, informal debate
Is Sugar Addictive?
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If you had your car repaired and it worked temporarily, you wouldn’t say, “It worked, but then I blew it.” Yet with most diet and lifestyle programs, people may see short term results, but blame themselves when they find it’s hard to follow their rules indefinitely. In fact, most people we work with have a long list of programs that didn’t work long-term because diets aren’t sustainable.
Attainable is not the same as sustainableI was on the phone with a smart professional who’s really good at what he does. As often happens when people find out what kind of work I do, he shared what he’s tried in the past to control his eating, including some of the advice he’d been given by various people.
(You know the list: Intermittent fasting, low carb, counting points, rigorous workouts, cleanses, and so on…)
And despite success in other areas of his life, this is an area he continued to struggle with.
He explained that everything seems to work—for a while—then ended his story with this phrase that reminded me why I do what I do:
“…so I’m just hoping I can find something I can sustain.”
If it’s not sustainable, then it doesn’t “work”!It’s so frustrating to me that diet-culture has trained people to think that short-term changes mean their diets or lifestyle plans “work”—but when they stop working, it’s your fault. So, you’re right back to searching for something else to put your hope in (and waste your time and money on).
I’m all for lifestyle changes, but if a diet’s not sustainable, then it didn’t work!
Show the world how hard we tried!In the Comments section below, we compiled a list of the programs we tried that “worked” but didn’t last. (I went first!) By making a list of all the diets, plans, and programs we’ve been on, we start to break down diet-culture’s lies by showing that we DID try. We didn’t fail. The diets, programs, and plans failed us!
Hear me! If you’ve been on the diet roller coaster, it’s not because you failed. Diet culture failed you by convincing you their outside-in, when-then approach could actually change things:
When you follow these rules, then you’ll feel good.
Aren’t you done postponing your life until you can finally stick to some magical formula?
Aren’t you sick of all the ridiculous and unsustainable rules? Aren’t you tired of the restriction that leaves you feeling left out and helpless? Aren’t you exhausted from spending so much of your energy trying to stick to a plan that you can’t wait to get off?
How about trying something truly different?Some may still want to try another diet or extreme workout program. I get it; the allure of a quick fix is powerful and makes it easy to forget all the other times it didn’t last because diets aren’t sustainable.
But the person I’m talking to now is the one who is tired of the “latest and greatest” fad and is craving a lasting approach to crafting a vibrant life.
Is that you?
A when-then that actually makes senseWhen all the fads have failed you, when all the outside-in work you’ve done just leads right back to where you started, then it’s time to try an inside-out approach.
If you say, “Michelle, I’ve tried everything,” I can only say, “You haven’t tried this.”
But where do you start?
With Mindful Eating!
Our mission is to help you restore your relationship with food and put you in charge, listening to (and trusting!) your body, and feeling fully equipped to meet your needs.
It’s a huge shift from all the crap (sorry, but that’s the way I feel) out there that promise that eating on a certain schedule, practically eliminating a certain food group, or even that their old plan “reimagined” is fundamentally different from everything else you’ve tried!
Instead, I want to offer you an inside-out approach that will change the way you think about food… if you’re ready and willing!
Click here to learn about our Level 1 Mindful Eating Support Community. It includes live Zoom Workshops and individual coaching with me (Michelle May MD) and too many other benefits to list here!
I’d love the opportunity to show you that although diets aren’t sustainable, freedom and peace with food is possible!
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Most people we work with who struggle with binge eating have tried countless diets in an attempt to regain control. But diets are an Outside > In approach: An outside “expert” tells you when, what, and how much to eat. This often leads to obsession then feelings of deprivation, cravings, bingeing, and guilt! Am I Hungry? is an Inside Out approach to binge eating: We guide you to identify why you want to eat in the first place then recognize and trust your inner wisdom to meet your true needs.
Inside-OutI love the Disney Pixar “emotion picture,” Inside Out because it “gave voice” to the emotions we often experience but sometimes have difficulty identifying. Learning to notice the “voices” in our heads is one of the essential steps for healing emotional eating and recovering from Binge Eating Disorder (BED). It is an inside-out approach to binge eating!
Disney Pixar Inside-Out charactersThe movie Inside Out gave our emotions voices, personalities, and characteristics. We can do something similar to help us detach from the emotional drivers of binge eating enough to observe them more objectively with curiosity.
This is one of the techniques we use in the small group therapy portion of the Am I Hungry? Mindful Eating for Binge Eating Program and Mindful Eating for Binge Eating Retreat (coming up in March in Scottsdale!)
Let me set this up for you. In this excerpt from Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat for Binge Eating (page 70), Dr. Kari Anderson and I write:
Watching thoughts and choosing which ones to pay attention to is a powerful way to interrupt an automatic sequence of events. However, it can be challenging at first because people who struggle with binge eating may be in the habit of judging their thoughts, leading to an emotionally charged internal dialogue. It may seem like there’s an angel sitting on one shoulder and a devil sitting on the other. They whisper in your ears like an old cartoon: good versus evil.
The Insistent Binge VoiceDuring one of our Mindful Eating for Binge Eating therapy groups, participants are asked to give their Binge Voice, Restrictive Voice, and Self-Care Voice names, personalities, and a voice.
We all had a good laugh when one retreat participant said her Binge Voice sounds like this very insistent character from Family Guy:
Recognizing your “voices”A participant in our research study on the Mindful Eating for Binge Eating Program (1) gave us permission to share the pictures she had drawn of her Binge Voice, Restrictive Voice, and Self-Care Voice.
My Binge VoiceIn the drawing of her Binge Voice, she wrote what the voice says to her.
What a fat, ugly, worthless failure you are.
You can’t stick with anything anyway.
Might as well eat the whole thing.
You’ve blown it again!
You are such a loser!
People who binge eat are sometimes trying to escape painful thoughts and emotions. When she identified the cruel things her Binge Voice says to her, it was easy to understand why she would turn to food to try to escape these thoughts!
My Restrictive VoiceIn the drawing of her angelic-appearing Restrictive Voice, she wrote that the voice says:
Starving yourself means you will lose lots of weight and you’ll be so slim and beautiful.
You are so good!
Binge eating often has a strong restrictive component (an outside-in approach) that contributes to the Binge-Repent-Repeat Cycle.
My Self-Care VoiceHer drawing of her Self-Care Voice which resembles a smiling young girl. The voice says:
Enjoy it. Appreciate it.
There is plenty. Abundance abounds.
I love you. I have always loved you. I will always love you, no matter what.
You are beautiful and lovable, and worth taking good care of.
This gentle, compassionate self-care voice is supportive, loving, and encouraging.
Developing Your Self-Care VoiceThe point of all of this is to become more objectively aware of the thoughts, beliefs, memories, and feelings that sit at the control panel of your mind, pushing your buttons and controlling your behaviors. With this awareness, you can choose which voice to pay attention to and nurture.
Taking an inside-out approach to binge eating to heal your relationship with food and your body ultimately means nurturing your Self-Care Voice who is unconditionally compassionate, validating, and has your highest good at heart. The Self-Care voice mediates the dialogue between the Binge Voice and the Restrictive Voice, encouraging you to trust and choose your true nature.
(1) Anderson, K., & May, M. (2012). The Mindful Eating Cycle: Treatment for Binge Eating Disorder. Arizona State University, Doctor of Behavioral Health, Culminating Project. (Abstract: http://www.amihungry.com/pdf/MindfulEatingCycleTreatmentForBingeEatingAbstract.pdf.)
This article is updated from a previous version.
If you enjoyed this article, here are three more to help you:
What is the difference between emotional eating and binge eating?
Binge eating disorder and dieting: Often two sides of the same coin
Nicole’s Story: Recovery from Binge Eating Disorder – “I deserve it!”
The post An Inside Out Approach to Binge Eating appeared first on Am I Hungry?.
As evidence mounts that a focus on weight loss does more harm than good, workplace wellness programs need a better way to help employees attain optimal well-being. Am I Hungry? Mindful Eating for Workplace Wellness offers a non-diet, weight-neutral, mindfulness-based approach for organizations ready to make the shift.
In the highlights of an interview, Am I Hungry? Mindful Eating Programs Founder Michelle May MD talks with Workplace Wellness professionals Cassandra Coontz and Hannah Scherer about mindful eating at the City of Mesa. (For the full 30-minute interview, click here.)
Video: Mindful Eating for Workplace Wellness at the City of MesaVideo highlights: Mindful eating in workplace wellnessHere are some of the topics we discussed in this interview about mindful eating in the City of Mesa. For the full 30-minute interview, click here.
- Most employees have tried lots of diets and realize they don’t work for them.
- Employees are excited to see a new approach and are enthusiastic about what they are learning.
- A weight-neutral approach takes the focus off the number on the scale.
- A non-diet approach allows you to focus on total well-being.
- It’s not a short-term, quick fix… it changes long-term behaviors by getting to the root and addresses why people do what they do in the first place.
- Logging food and using diet apps consumes a lot of time and energy, contributing to presenteeism.
- A non-diet approach makes space for increased productivity.
- A person can gain agency over their decisions (eating and other decisions).
- The lessons employees learn through mindful eating bring more mindfulness to the workplace and to life.
- The weight-neutral approach can help people with their eating no matter where they are on the weight spectrum.
- Whether people lose weight or not is not nearly as important as their ability to manage their eating, become more joyfully active, and prioritize self-care.
- Workplace wellness supports a healthy work environment so employees can be productive for a successful business.
- Healing your relationship with food makes life so much better.
Learn more about Am I Hungry? Mindful Eating Programs in organizations here or contact us by filling out the form below to discuss your needs.
Schedule a free call
Lasting Change In Your OrganizationLearn how to partner with Am I Hungry?
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In this post, I’ll answer the question, “What is a non-diet approach?” Hint: Non-diet means more than you might think!
This is the third of a four-part series dedicated to exploring the three tenets of the Am I Hungry? Mindful Eating Program. Previously I defined the concept of weight-neutral and addressed the need for a paradigm shift away from a focus on weight loss to interventions that are weight-neutral.
What does non-diet mean?One way to understand the non-diet approach is to think of it as non-restrictive, meaning that it doesn’t encourage restriction or deprivation of any sort.
This is important because there are many examples of professionals and programs that label themselves as “non-diet,” “healthy eating,” or “lifestyle change,” yet ultimately promote restrictive eating.
Examples of more subtle restrictive eating messages found in many traditional interventions include:
- Eating a certain number of calories, grams, or points
- Eliminating certain foods or ingredients
- Avoiding or limiting “tempting” foods
- Eating on a schedule and/or not eating before or after a certain time of day
- Earning food or the right to eat with exercise
In short, a non-diet approach promotes awareness of internal cues and application of internalized decision-making. Therefore, arbitrary rules like those above (and thousands of variations) about food or eating are incompatible with a non-diet approach. (Read this blog post for a list of red flags that a program or approach to food is a diet, even when it claims it is not.)
Instead, a true non-diet approach encourages a more natural, instinctive way of eating. That means re-learning how to manage food intake by becoming attuned to internal cues such as hunger and satiety, rather than external rules that may be confusing and difficult to follow indefinitely.
The non-diet approach shifts away from the concept of “good” and “bad” foods and supports the idea that, for most people, all foods can fit in a balanced lifestyle. Instead of a rigid eating plan, the non-diet approach encourages individuals to meet their nutritional and fuel needs with attention to balance, variety, and moderation while acknowledging the legitimate and important role pleasure plays in eating.
Why not diets or restrictive eating?Why does a non-diet approach exist? Because research has shown that diets don’t work, they’re counterproductive, and have potential harmful effects.
Diets don’t workThere is significant evidence to support the ineffectiveness of restrictive eating and a growing body of research demonstrating the many ways dieting is harmful.(1) A review published in the Journal of the Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics, “A Review of Interventions that Promote Eating by Internal Cues,” summarizes the research:
“…traditional diets that restrict energy [calories], or particular nutrients, to induce weight loss have achieved little long term success. These programs have high attrition rates; participants rarely maintain weight loss and sometimes gain back even more weight than they lost during the program. In fact, there is evidence that frequency of dieting is directly associated with weight gain. In addition to being an ineffective means to weight loss, dieting is a well-established risk factor for unhealthy weight control behaviors, binge eating and bulimic pathology, and eating disorders. Frequency of dieting is also associated with negative psychological attributes such as body dissatisfaction, depression, lower self-esteem and negative effect.” (2)
Diets are unsustainableDiets are ineffective because the innate physical and emotional human response to food restriction makes them virtually impossible to adhere to long term. Diets require an unsustainable amount of restraint, willpower, time, and energy. Caloric restriction results in physiological hunger, increased preoccupation with food, and strong cravings to eat. The high resource requirements, combined with a strong drive to eat, ultimately results in the dieter “giving up.” Dieting also activates the portion of the brain responsible for attention to and reward properties of food, increasing the likelihood of food intake. Therefore, breaking the restraint is often followed by a strong urge to overeat and, in some cases, binge eating.
Diets have unintended consequencesFurther, many dieters have developed triggers to eat when they’re not hungry, or overeat once they start. Instead of learning to recognize and cope effectively with these triggers, dieters may simply overeat the “allowed” foods to cope. Once they’re no longer on the diet, these unaddressed triggers continue to drive overeating, compounded by the guilt of breaking their diet.
This eat-repent-repeat cycle is damaging physiologically and emotionally. Among other things, it can result in weight cycling, disordered eating, eating disorders, low self-efficacy, depression, and lower self-esteem.
Am I Hungry? Mindful Eating Programs use the non-diet approach and mindfulness-based strategies to help participants free themselves from this cycle to develop a truly healthy relationship with food and their body.
Are non-diet programs effective?Is the non-diet approach effective? The short answer is absolutely!
Research indicates that non-diet programs have positive and lasting effects on many dimensions of well-being, including improvements in total cholesterol, LDL, blood pressure, depression, and nutrient intake; lower body weight (even when that is not the focus of the program); reduced eating disorder symptomology; reduction of food cravings; and improvements in psychological and behavior outcomes, including self-esteem and eating behaviors.(3)
A non-diet approach provides an effective alternative to restrictive, unsustainable dieting. What more could you ask for?
References
(1) Mauldin, K., May, M., Clifford, D. (2022). The consequences of a weight‐centric approach to healthcare: A case for a paradigm shift in how clinicians address body weight. Nutrition in Clinical Practice. https://doi.org/10.1002/ncp.10885
(2) Schaefer, J. T., & Magnuson, A. B. (2014). A review of interventions that promote eating by internal cues. Journal of the Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics, 114(5), 734–760. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jand.2013.12.024
(3) Tylka, T., et al. (2014.) The weight-inclusive versus weight-normative approach to health: Evaluating the evidence for prioritizing well-being over weight loss. Journal of Obesity.
This article has been updated from a previously published version.
If you enjoyed this article, here are three more to help you:
Diet culture: An outdated paradigm whose time is up!
A Non-Diet, Weight-Neutral, Mindfulness-Based Approach to Optimal Well-Being
Mindful Eating and Weight Loss: Setting the record straight
The post What is a Non-Diet Approach? appeared first on Am I Hungry?.
Whether you’re setting health goals, personal goals, or professional goals, one key to successful New Year’s Resolutions is to create a strategic plan based on your values. Read about Jean’s successful New Year’s resolutions using a seven step goal setting and achievement process.
More successful New Year’s resolutionsToo often, people set New Year’s resolutions that depend on unsustainable or even unhealthy restrictive methods, like eliminating favorite foods and rigid exercise regimens. These goals won’t create lasting change in your health or vitality.
On the other hand, when you make specific, consistent small changes in the way you think, eat, move, and live based on your intention to live a vibrant life, you create a sustainable pattern the reinforces itself. (Although I’m using the terms “resolution” and “goal” in this post, I generally prefer the term “intention.” Read this article to understand why: The differences between goals and intentions.)
Let me give you an example from a coaching client I’ll call Jean, who had tried many diets in the past, but always reverted back to old habits as soon as her resolve wore thin.
Jean was a busy mom with two teens and a successful career. She typically skipped breakfast or grabbed whatever was in the break room at work. She was starving by lunch so she’d pick up fast food to eat at her desk while working. Dinner was either fast food again between her kids’ soccer practice and dance classes or a quick-to-fix meal like mac ‘n cheese before homework. After the kids were finally settled and the house was picked up, she’d watch TV and snack until she finally went to sleep.
It would have been easy to focus on what she “should” or “shouldn’t” be eating but we both knew that to create lasting change, we needed to focus on increasing her awareness at the many decision points during her busy days.
She was open to setting a more successful New Year’s resolution this time, so she used the following seven steps. Scroll down to see how Jean applied these strategies. (Download this simple one-page guide to capture your own ideas as you set your intentions for the new year: 7 Steps to Magnetic New Years Resolutions.)
Successful Goal Setting Process1. Create Space Invest time and space to think about your present life and set goals that will bring you greater health, happiness and fulfillment. As part of your resolution-making process, decide how you will carve out space daily to accomplish your goals.
Most of us can easily find extra time in the wasted minutes we spend on unproductive activities like watching TV or surfing the internet. Some of us will need to get up a few minutes earlier or say no to joining another committee to find more space in our day.
2. Consider Your ValuesGoals based on your core principles and values form a passionate attitude! What is truly important to you—family, friends, health, career, achievement, contribution, spiritual growth? When you are clear on what really matters, you’ll willingly invest your valuable time and energy pursuing meaningful goals that are congruent with your principles and values.
- Be InspiredGo for the shiver-factor: If the thought of achieving your goal gives you a little shiver of excitement, you’re on the right track. Your goals should act like magnets that draw you toward them. (Hint: If you are repelled by the thought of working toward a particular resolution, start over with a new goal that inspires and challenges you.)
4. Predict your futureClose your eyes and project yourself into the future. Imagine what it’s like as you achieve your goal. Picture how you feel, think, look, and act—as though it’s happening this very moment. Make it so clear you can see it, feel it, and measure it. Create a vivid, exciting image of yourself living it out, then return to this vision regularly to maintain the pull your goal has on you.
5. Set mini-goalsA magnet can’t attract an object that’s too far away to feel its pull. Similarly, goals that feel too far from where you are now quickly lose their attraction. Therefore, create achievable mini-goals that are within reach and challenging enough to pull you toward your larger goals.
6. Give your brain a map to follow Write your goals and mini-goals in positive, present terms using specific details. For example, instead of “I won’t eat sweets anymore,” try “I enjoy eating fresh fruits and vegetables at each meal to support my energy and health.”
Another option is to create a collage of inspiring pictures that represent your intentions. Put your written goals and/or collage in a place where you’ll see them often. You’ll be amazed how these concrete words or images begin to manifest themselves in your life.
7. Be flexible and creativeUse your goal(s) as your compass and steps one through six as the map to chart your course. However, remain open to new paths to your goals. Obstacles and detours are a natural part of change and provide important learning opportunities. When you’re patient and gentle with yourself, you’ll discover creative solutions that help you grow beyond anything you could have planned.
Periodically assess your progress, adjusting your approach and/or modifying goals as necessary. Reward yourself with relevant incentives as you are successful in achieving your goals. Of course, the greatest reward is in knowing you have done your best!
Jean’s 7 steps to successful resolutionsCreate space: It is pretty obvious Jean didn’t have a lot of time for herself, much less her goals, until she prioritized her own needs.
She made two important decisions: She registered for the Am I Hungry? Level 1 Mindful Eating Support Community so she would have the structure of weekly workshops and the support of the group and individual coaching sessions necessary for learning new skills.
She also decided to get up 20 minutes earlier for a cup of coffee and some quiet time before anyone else was up. She quickly found that she felt calmer and more energetic throughout the morning.
Consider your values: With a little prompting, Jean quickly identified what was most meaningful to her: spending quality time with her family and having the energy to be successful at her job. With this focus, she laid out a plan to make one change at a time.
Be inspired: Jean decided she was done with dieting once and for all! She wanted to be more like her sister who could eat whatever she wanted and never seemed to feel out of control around food. She wanted to stop using exercise as punishment and find something she enjoyed doing.
Predict your future: Jean visualized herself focused on living her best life, instead of thinking about food (or not eating food) all the time. She saw herself as a well-rested, active mom and an energetic team member at work.
Set mini-goals: Jean decided on the following three goals.
- Eat mindfully. This was not a “mini-goal” so she registered for the Level 1 Mindful Eating Support Community to help her break the process into manageable steps.
- Move regularly. She decided to walk for 10 minutes twice during her work day.
- Practice self-care, beginning with getting more sleep. She decided to go to bed 15 minutes earlier each week until she felt more refreshed in the mornings.
Give your brain a map to follow: Because Jean had the Level 1 program to guide her, she was able to focus on the process of learning to eat mindfully one step at a time.
In the first month, she learned how to identify hunger and fullness and how to use this information to help her decide when and how much to eat. She then learned three options for what to do when she wanted to eat when she wasn’t hungry.
During the second month, she learned how she could eat whatever she wanted (like her sister!) without feeling guilty or losing control. She started bringing her lunch to work more often and gave herself at least 20 minutes to eat mindfully without working. She enjoyed her meals more and felt recharged by taking a break.
During the third month, she focused on her emotional eating, especially her night time snack habit, and how to meet her needs better. She realized that most of the time she wasn’t hungry in the evening but was rewarding herself for getting through the day and procrastinating going to bed.
She promised herself she could still eat her favorite foods without feeling guilty when she really wanted to, but she wanted to try rewarding herself in more nurturing ways at night. Her favorite “treat” became a hot bath and reading in bed to wind down.
Be flexible and creative: She wasn’t perfect with walking at work, but it felt good to get up and move regularly, so she did the best she could to be consistent. She was feeling so much better that she eventually started a dance class at her daughter’s studio.
With these positive experiences to fuel her along, she asked her teens and husband to each take a night to plan for dinner. She bought an instant pot, determined to try a new recipe once a week. They still went out for fast food sometimes, but she noticed she didn’t need to up-size her meal to feel satisfied. Not only were they spending less money, but the kids were eating healthier too.
Looking back, Jean realized that if she had just started another diet or joined a gym like every other year, she might have had some quick but temporary results. This time, she knew she was changing the way she thought about eating, activity, and self-care for lasting results.
This year when you sit down with pen and paper to write your goals, focus on making sustainable changes that align with your principles so your resolutions will be more successful too.
Best wishes for a healthy and successful new year! And remember, we are here to help you! Join us for our Level 1 Mindful Eating Support Community. Click here to learn more!
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Despite our enthusiasm for a fresh start (especially after the holidays), New Year’s resolutions are often short-lived. If you want to make this New Year different, focus on why you do what you do instead of resolving to change your behaviors.
Check out this video: How to make this New Year different.In this video, I share a New Year’s story of my own, talk about why the usual resolutions aren’t always effective, and the key to making this year different.
Key points from the video about making this New Year differentNew Year’s resolutions often focus on actions and results – like going on a diet or joining a gym. They usually don’t succeed because they don’t address the underlying reasons you make the choices you do.
For example, being on a diet ignores the reasons you want to eat when you’re not hungry. It simply puts you in a restrictive mode of following the rules that eventually lead to deprivation and cravings. At some point you switch to overeating mode and revert back to eating in reaction to emotions or other cues.
That’s why it’s essential to recognize why you eat.
Now consider your own intentions and resolutions for the New Year. What do you want to be different? And are you trying to get there by only changing your behavior, or are you going deeper to understand why you do what you do?
Check out the next video for a way to make your intentions or resolutions more effective so you make changes that last.
To truly make this new year different, join us in our Level 1 Mindful Eating Support Community! Click here to learn more!
This article has been updated from a previously published version.
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Deprivation is a surprising, hidden trigger for eating. When you’re “not allowed” to eat foods you love, foods others eat, or the amount of food you’re hungry for, you may develop feelings of deprivation. Restriction and deprivation often lead to powerful cravings and overeating.People who eat instinctively don’t usually deprive themselvesIn this video and post, I shared that I struggled with the “eat-repent-repeat” cycle for many years before noticing that people who eat instinctively ate for very different reasons.I realized that why I was eating drove every other decision that followed: When I ate, what I are, how I ate, how much I ate, and where I spent my energy. With this huge aha, I finally began to change the reasons I ate. In the last video, I shared a really cool script that will help you decode emotional eating to figure out what to do instead.Now let’s talk about a (maybe not so secret anymore!) hidden trigger for eating: Deprivation.Deprivation leads to more eating!It became clear why diets hadn’t worked for me (or most other people) long term: they were treating the wrong problem–and worse, because they often lead to deprivation, they become part of the problem!Deprivation contributes to a pattern I call the Restrictive Eating Cycle.All those years I blamed myself for not being able to stick to a restrictive diet, when in fact, the diet itself was increasing my focus on food. This increased my feelings of deprivation, cravings, overeating, and guilt – which just led to more overeating. That was no way to live. And now I don’t have to.And neither do you!Replace deprivation with mindful decision-makingI’ve had the privilege of spending more than twenty years teaching thousands of people a completely different way to manage their eating so they can free up their energy to live the vibrant life they crave.By replacing deprivation-based rules with mindful decision-making, you learn to be in charge of your eating instead of vacillating between feeling in control then out of control.I included a mindful eating visualization in the video to help you imagine yourself living this way. In the comments below, please share at least one thing you would do or do differently in your life if you were free of your eat-repent repeat cycle.When you’re ready to learn how to trust your body wisdom and eat fearlessly, join us for our Level 1 Mindful Eating Support Community. Click here to learn more! The post Deprivation: A Hidden Trigger for Eating appeared first on Am I Hungry?.
The holidays can be a stressful time, especially when added to other stressors that can make you more vulnerable to mindless and emotional eating. In addition to the usual holiday eating and stress, you may also be managing health conditions like diabetes during the holidays, so the challenges can feel overwhelming.
Managing holiday eating and stressIt’s important to recognize that the accumulation of multiple triggers can be a set-up—a recipe—for overeating. By understanding the ingredients that make you more vulnerable to holiday eating and stress, you can create a recipe for mindful eating and more balanced holiday celebrations!
Recipe for OvereatingIngredients:
- 1 batch, bag, box, or large plate of food
- 2 tablespoons of deprivation
- 1 heaping teaspoon of guilt
- Sprinkle of shame
- Optional: fatigue, stress, resentment, loneliness, boredom
Directions:
- Run yourself down physically by not sleeping, exercising, eating when you’re hungry, consuming nutritious foods, or checking your blood glucose if you have diabetes.
- Alternatively, wear yourself out by working too hard, being all things to all people, and trying to make everything perfect.
- Place emotions on medium-high. Cover and simmer; do not allow steam to escape.
- When you crave something you love, remind yourself that it’s bad, fattening, or high in carbs.
- When your cravings grow stronger, tell yourself that you’re bad for wanting “bad” food.
- Wait until an influential person such as your grandmother or co-worker insists you eat that food anyway to please them.
- Alternatively, sneak the food when no one is watching.
- Sit down in front of the T.V. or choose another activity to distract yourself while you eat.
- Before eating, garnish the food with guilt. If it’s still enjoyable, stir in some shame to ensure that the food is completely ruined.
- Eat as quickly as possible to avoid tasting or enjoying the food.
- You’re done when you feel sick and uncomfortable.
- Repeat steps 1-11 until can’t stand it anymore. Try the Recipe for Mindful Eating.
Recipe for Mindful EatingIngredients:
- 1 or 2 servings of food you love
- 2 tablespoons of hunger
- 1 heaping teaspoon each of intention and attention
- Sprinkle of trust
- Optional: pleasure, enjoyment, celebration, tradition
Directions:
- Care for yourself physically by getting adequate sleep, exercise, and nutrition.
- Create a self-care buffer zone by regularly nurturing your body, mind, heart, and spirit.
- When you’re hungry, consider what you want, what you need, and what you have to eat before choosing food.
- Decide how you want to feel when you’re finished eating; serve yourself accordingly (or adjust the portion if someone else served you).
- When the food you crave isn’t particularly healthful, omit all guilt and shame and include the desired food in your meal plan. Remind yourself that all foods fit when you practice balance, variety, and moderation.
- Sit down to eat and minimize distractions.
- Savor the appearance, aromas, textures, and flavors as you eat.
- Eat slowly and mindfully for maximal enjoyment from every bite.
- Stop when you feel content and energetic.
- Repeat steps 1-9 for the remainder of your life.
To learn more about the differences between overeating and mindful eating, download chapter 1 of Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat: A Mindful Eating Program to Break Your Eat-Repent-Repeat Cycle.
Download a printable version of the recipes by clicking the image below!Enjoyed this article? Here are three more to help you:
Rewrite those ridiculous “How to prevent holiday weight gain” articles
Handling Holiday Head Hunger
Don’t be good; feel good!
Updated from a previously published version.
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We received this anonymous binge eating question on our #AskAmIHungry YouTube channel: “What if you binge because you live alone and lack a feeling of love and belonging?” In this video, the questions, “What is Binge Eating Disorder?” and “What can you do about BED?” are addressed by Dr. Michelle May, co-creator of the Am I Hungry? Mindful Eating for Binge Eating Program and Training and co-author of Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat for Binge Eating: A Mindful Eating Program to Heal Your Relationship with Food and Your Body.
#AskAmIHungry Video Transcript:
Thank you for your question, and let me first let me say that I’m sorry you are struggling. It is totally understandable that you would reach for food to soothe these feelings.
Emotional eating is using food to regulate emotions, in other words, attempting to manage your mood with food. It is important to acknowledge that emotional connections to food are normal and healthy! We eat to comfort ourselves, soothe a hurt, experience pleasure, celebrate, and reward ourselves for a job well done – among many other reasons. And there’s nothing wrong with it!
Emotional eating only becomes a problem when it’s the primary way you cope with or avoid your feelings.
Maybe you’ve noticed that you reach for food when you’re feeling stressed, bored, lonely, mad, or sad. When your habit is to use food instead of paying attention to what these emotions are trying to tell you about your underlying needs, those needs go unmet. And of course, those unmet needs will continue to drive emotional eating.
I’ll come back to meeting those needs, but you used the word “binge,” so I want to take a few moments to talk more about that. People sometimes use that word when they feel they have eaten (or watched Netflix!) excessively.
However, binge eating may become an eating disorder.
What is Binge Eating Disorder?The criteria for the diagnosis of Binge Eating Disorder (or BED) include: Recurrent episodes (meaning at least once a week for three months on average) of eating a larger amount of food than normal during a short time frame and feeling you cannot stop eating or control what or how much you are eating.
- The binge eating is associated with at least three of the following:
• Eating faster than normal
• Eating until you feel uncomfortably full
• Eating large amounts of food even though you are not physically hungry
• Eating alone because you feel embarrassed by how much you are eating
• Feeling disgusted, depressed, or very guilty after eating - People with BED experience marked distress about the binge eating.
- People with BED don’t typically compensate for bingeing (by vomiting, for example).
What can you do about BED?Many people with BED try different diets to stop the bingeing, but that only compounds the problem by creating feelings of deprivation, cravings, and guilt. We call it the binge-repent-repeat cycle.
While it might seem hopeless, BED can be successfully treated, so it is important get it diagnosed! If you think you might binge eat, you can take the screening test, the Binge Eating Scale, on our website. You can also find more information about BED on the National Eating Disorder website.
Am I Hungry? Binge Eating Disorder optionsBED Self-HelpOur Mindful Eating for Binge Eating set includes a copy of Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat for Binge Eating and the Companion Workbook and Awareness Journal.
Binge Eating Programs and TherapistsSearch for Am I Hungry? indful Eating for Binge Eating Program or therapist in your area
Mindful Eating for Binge Eating RetreatJoin us for a Mindful Eating for Emotional and Binge Eating Retreat to heal your relationship with food and your body!
As you describe in your question, for many people, binge eating is a way to escape or disconnect from thoughts or feelings that seem intolerable. I really hope you will seek help to address these challenges!
In the meantime, here are some suggestions to help when you notice you feel like bingeing.
What to do when you feel like bingeingSelf-CompassionAs difficult as it may be to fathom, the first step to breaking this cycle is self-compassion. After all, you don’t binge because you are “weak-willed,” “stupid,” or “out of control.” You do it because you are trying to take care of yourself! And binge eating works to help you feel better – at least temporarily.
Validate YourselfValidate your thoughts, feelings, and actions as being normal and understandable given the circumstances. As Dr. Kari Anderson, my co-author of Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat for Binge Eating and the Companion Workbook, says, “Of course!” It’s like saying, “I totally get why you thought, felt, or did that!”
Now, I understand that you might be afraid that if you’re “nice” to yourself, you won’t change, but the opposite is true! You care for yourself because you accept yourself, not so you’ll accept yourself.
This validation and unconditional acceptance creates a safe environment for experimenting with new thoughts, feelings, and actions.
Nonjudgmental AwarenessMindful eating is all about bringing nonjudgmental awareness to your choices and experiences with eating and acknowledging that you were doing the best you could in that moment. Nonjudgment is essential because it provides a more objective understanding of what happened and why.
Self-Care VoiceThe next step is to cultivate your Self-Care Voice. We all know that harsh critical voice that shames us when we feel we’ve done something wrong. That voice can keep us stuck in a shame cycle.
On the other hand, your Self-Care Voice wants the best for you. It is unconditionally compassionate, affirming, and accepting. Your Self-Care voice is the voice of kindness and wisdom. It guides you to learn from your mistakes, face your challenges, and loves you unconditionally, faults and all.
Your self-care voice might say something like, “I know you feel like you don’t belong, and you binged to try to feel better and less alone. I’m sorry you feel physically and emotionally worse right now. I don’t think food really gives you the connection you are seeking. What can you experiment with that might work better?”
Anonymous, I hope this answers the question what is binge eating? and helps you begin to see another way of thinking about BED. I truly hope you will take the next steps to deal with binge eating and the underlying causes.
This article is updated from a previous version.
If you enjoyed this article, here are three more to help you:
What is the difference between emotional eating and binge eating?
Binge eating disorder and dieting: Often two sides of the same coin
Help! I’m a binge eater!
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By eating mindfully on Thanksgiving, you'll experience optimal pleasure by truly appreciating the wonderful occasion and delicious foods.
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Psychologists use the metaphor peeling the onion for exploring a problem one layer at a time. I think of it as peeling the rose petals to fully bloom!
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Becoming aware then allowing your thoughts to simply be as they is very different from trying to replace, get rid of, or change your thought.
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We’ve been taught to replace a “bad” thought with a “good” thought, or to get rid of “negative” thinking by switching to “positive” thinking. To do this, we have to judge our thoughts as good or bad,
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When I’m working with my coaching clients who have children or grandchildren, they sometimes wonder how to share what they’re learning with their families. They’re particularly curious about mindful eating for children, since kids naturally exhibit many of the skills they are learning. Mindful eating and children As parents, we’re supposed to teach our children …
Mindful Eating for Children: What my kids taught me about eating mindfully Read More »
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Willpower was following someone else’s choices and shaming myself when I failed. Inner wisdom is trusting myself to make the “just right for me” choice.
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For many of the people I work with, the holidays are the most difficult time of year. Recently, we asked about your top holiday eating challenges on our blog, our public Am I Hungry? Facebook page, and by email. Below is a summary of the challenges you shared. Your most difficult eating challenges during the …
Holiday Eating Challenges Read More »
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Often, we resist any sort of physical or emotional discomfort. As soon as we notice loneliness, anger, fear, stress, pain or other unavoidable suffering that comes with being human, we turn on the tube, shovel food in our mouths, or have a glass of wine. Sooner or later, it comes bubbling back up, so we reach for our next quick fix.
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People often say, "I know I should exercise, but I hate it!" because they've learned to think of exercise as punishment for eating.
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I am grateful to mindful eating for putting an end to yo-yo dieting. Let me give you a specific example of how mindful eating helps end yo-yo dieting.
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Understand why emotional eating sometimes feels so persistent and insistent and meet your true needs in more effective ways than eating.
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Learn about Fearless Eating in this video. I'll give you three questions to ask yourself for deciding what to eat without restriction and deprivation.
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What is body wisdom—and can the Hunger and Fullness Scale help you relearn to interpret when and how much you need to eat to feel comfortable?
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There are four common eating challenges people are struggling with right now. Here are the most common challenges along with the signs and examples.
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Anyone who has tried to stick to a diet, or even a "healthy lifestyle change" has likely asked themselves: Why is self-control so difficult?
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