Log Dot Pod: Recent Episodes
GK
A one-man show where daily logs turn into podcasts. Visit my YouTube channel for the full catalogue of episodes: https://bit.ly/logdotpod
2021 was a year of much learning for me, perhaps more so than other years. But that fact comes with its own caveats. I now have to deal with past assignments and final outputs near the tail end of the semester. Nonetheless, these are the cards we are dealt for the plays that we made — it is now time to restrategize.
Today, several requirements of mine were due. One was a research paper that I had been worked up over for the past few months, another was an overdue midterm paper that was moved to nearer the end of the semester, and another was a written exam that could be passed through email.
If we were to craft the ideal plan here, I would start with the written exam due midnight, then finish the midterm exam supposedly due yesterday, and then finish the research paper due on Friday. It was supposedly due today, but the dealine was extended by a few days. That was the ideal plan.
And that was not how things turned out. Instead, I continued working on the research paper in hopes of finally ridding myself of the dreaded subject, focusing next on the written exam, then finally the midterm exam.
The research paper required 15 pages but I could no longer find ways to extend it further, so I resolved to ignoring the page requirement just for the sake of being able to submit something. I prioritized the paper for the relief it would bring me. Then, I chose to submit the written exam first because I had the least amount of submitted work for that subject, whereas the midterm exam was for a subject whose only remaining requirement was this one.
I like to plan my moves and schedule my days, and today was no different. And upon further inspection of the decisions I made, it was clear that the strategy I chose reflected my values. I prioritize comfort and the feeling of achievement upon completing difficult tasks. That can be both be a good thing and a bad thing. The good part hinges also on how much I value my health and wellbeing, but the bad part is when I start refusing to go out of my comfort zone.
From this, it was also clear that what is absent from our strategies also reflects our values. I say that I value health and wellbeing, but where does exercise come in? And since one of my subjects also involves physical exercise, shouldn’t I also be working on that? Have I been too complacent, or have I just been bothered by too many external factors?
These are important questions that I should be asking myself not just for today, but also for when I plan my days ahead. We should all try to reflect on the things that matter to us and whether it shows in the decisions that we make. As for me, I should keep pressing on, even if the next few days are going to be a stretch.
This has been LOG DOT POD, logging it one day at a time.
Music used: Inawashiro by Crownie Lofi
https://www.youtube.com/c/CrownieMusic
Today I finally finished the research paper that had been bugging me for the past few months, and after that would be a poster that, for some reason, needed to be presented alongside it. My girlfriend volunteered to help, and at the end of the project, we started laughing at one of the photos I used by playing with edits and making stories out of them.
I thought to myself, hadn’t laughed that hard in weeks or maybe months, but the other times that I felt those were also with her. Then I looked back and realized that I still get to laugh plenty in most of my days just being with the person I love.
Amidst all the pressure of school and the realities of life, these moments remind me to stop and smell the roses. The beautiful things hidden in the present that only wait for us to appreciate them. We tend to see the world as a dark, hopeless place, and while it may be strictly inferior to the Heaven that God is preparing for us, we can already see its beauty through many things in life.
To be in school and to work in jobs are not the end goals of our life, rather they should be the means to spreading good – which I think should really be the focus of our existence. Because based on my experience, doing things for the wellbeing of others is when I feel fulfilled the most. And we Catholics are called to do exactly that, so it is a wonderful thing knowing that there is also a feeling of peace and lightness accompanying that mission.
I know that I will have to continue the academics tomorrow, but today was a nice eye-opener in that when I resume my journey, the sides of my eyes will begin to notice flowers in tiny strokes coloring scenes I once thought were gray.
Music used: Inawashiro by Crownie Lofi
https://www.youtube.com/c/CrownieMusic
The time has come to move beyond the references and write the actual paper. Unfortunately I was only able to write the introduction, and while I do recognize that progress is progress, sometimes we really are just expected to progress at a minimum rate, which I feel I have been unable to meet.
I kept getting stuck in writing one part, while the rest waits in a long, unmoving queue. But then when I took a break and washed the dishes, I was immediately able to think of a new way to approach my paragraphs.
I have long recognized the importance of breaks, but I don’t think I have been doing the right kinds. True, the body needs to rest, but I end up sleeping more than actually working, because when I go to bed for a nap and return to the same task, it’s like I never left the page and no new perspectives have been added. So I’m still tired.
In contrast, washing the dishes required a different kind of attention, I was exercising different muscles, and obviously there were different senses being stimulated — my hands being submerged in soapy water, the sounds of plates and utensils hitting each other as they parked at the strainer — different sights indeed, and this allowed me to meditate on what I was feeling and look back at the thoughts I had earlier from a more detached perspective. I returned to my room still physically drained from exerting myself in writing, but now with refreshed perspectives on how to proceed with my work.
In our daily lives, sometimes we also need to take a step back and look at things from a detached perspective. Changing our perspectives is admittedly hard, and sometimes we might already be on okay paths, but to zoom out a bit and see where our sights were set: that allows us to evaluate what we were doing then and judge as to whether we need to make any changes. If so, what exactly are those changes that need to happen? What is the direction we need to change into? And what areas need a bit more help or improvement?
I admit I do not take these important steps in reflection as often as I thought I did, but it would be great to integrate them more often as we continue this final stretch for the semester. And maybe then can I have a real break from things, free from worrying where I could have done better, and rest towards building the better me tomorrow.
Music used: Inawashiro by Crownie Lofi
https://www.youtube.com/c/CrownieMusic
Today I finished a long-overdue assignment that needed me to look for a set number of scholarly articles related to my approved topic. It was overdue for about two months already, and that isn’t even the most overdue one I have right now, but we’ll talk about that another time.
For this specific assignment, I learned that it just needed equal parts determination and smarter Googling. No, I’m not talking about advanced search parameters, but finding better keywords to use and knowing where to look for them. Then, there’s also visually mapping out ideas from the articles I had already gathered, and spotting which areas we need to support with more information.
My one takeaway from this experience is that we really need to do these evaluative processes and make sure that they stick to our heads. I used to do those same research techniques in high school but I don’t think it translated well to college. It could be because I was stuck in the sciences back then and now the arts have a different (but not too otherworldly) approach to research.
What I first reflected on was knowledge, but being able to apply them to other experiences is wisdom. But we cannot apply this wisdom if we are consistently skimming over these evaluative processes. Be it in school, work, all forms of relationships, or even in our road to reach our best selves, evalution can help us be better than the people we were yesterday.
Music used: Inawashiro by Crownie Lofi
https://www.youtube.com/c/CrownieMusic
I had long regarded one of my classes in college as incredibly hectic due to how difficult I felt the requirements were. We were tasked to write research papers based on topics that the professor would approve, but this was a language course, so I expected that the focus would be on the language side of things. But my professor assigned me a topic that was very difficult to work on, and it took me an incredibly long time to collect the amount of academic references he expected from me.
I then began to think: perhaps this professor was just another academic with unrealistic expectations. Insults began circling my head, and looking back at it, these were behaviors that I am not proud of. I always go back to Mathew 15:11 – it is not what enters one’s mouth that defiles that person; but what comes out of the mouth is what defiles one. It doesn’t matter that I didn’t say them outright, but the fact that those thoughts had already formed in my head, that is already telling of my character.
I consulted my father about the situation and realized that perhaps the professor, in his decades’ worth of teaching experience, had already estimated the average number of references to be expected from the typical research topics assigned to students.
I originally wanted a different topic, but we were required to come up with backup ideas so the professor could have options to approve for us. And so he chose one of my backup topics, because he felt that it was more in line with my background and was potentially a more accessible field of study than the others. And it just so happened that my topic in particular was more difficult to find academic references for compared to my classmates’ topics, since all of our approved research directions were visible to our peers.
I realize now that this professor probably was not expecting this kind of outlier, nor could he have predicted that level of difficulty for my topic, since his job was to make sure that our mastery of language was appropriate in the academic setting, and not be a direct consultant for all fields of study, seeing as students from all degree programs could join this class. Therefore, I should have realized that it was not really my professor’s fault that I am having a difficult time. There was no need to think badly of him solely because of what I was going through.
I now see that these are roots of misunderstanding that we sometimes fail to see: unclear expectations, incorrect assumptions, hasty generalizations. By failing to see that we have misunderstood situations, we might find ourselves slowly beginning to form resentment, especially when considerable distance exists – or even grows – between us and the other person.
Going forward, maybe it is healthier to instead look for all the possible reasons why we might be having difficult times, or all possible venues for misunderstanding. Are other people’s expectations actually unreasonable, hence warranting the need for dialogue? Or did we just happen to have a mismatch of expectations? There are many questions that can and maybe should be asked, because I am of the belief that we should at least try to understand a situation as best as we can to avoid escalating into conflict.
So let’s try our best to manage our expectations, and be as understanding of others as we humanly can.
Music used: Inawashiro by Crownie Lofi
https://www.youtube.com/c/CrownieMusic
Today has been a long day. I successfully finished one of my subjects for the semester and tried to continue working on another one, where we were tasked to complete a rather difficult project whose requirements, in my opinion, seem rather askew from the course objectives.
My girlfriend invited me to take a break and play League of Legends with her, and we were having fun until I accidentally raised my voice. I felt her heart sink and I regretted it the very second the sound left my throat, but what really causes these things?
Can we really blame stress on these kinds of situations? After months of deeper journeying into the Faith, I would say no, we should not. Matthew 15:11 says that it is not what enters one’s mouth that defiles that person; but what comes out of the mouth is what defiles one.
Our deepest fears and feelings reflect in our subconscious. The dreams we might have, the words we might slip – these are all part of who we are at the present moment. I get that each person will have different ideas on what they want their ideal selves to be, but for me, I choose to be someone who deals with things with grace. Someone who can talk things out in times of misunderstanding. Being stressed should not be a free pass to hurt other people, so I need to keep being watchful of how I conduct myself even while I’m stressed.
It is in being watchful that we train ourselves to become who we want to be, until our subconscious selves are consistent with what the conscious identity seeks to exhibit. I don’t want to be seen as a person who harbors the potential to hurt the ones they love, no. I want to be remembered as he who chooses to be kind even when those around him are not, so other people may find peace just by being around him. That is the person I want to be, and in becoming that idealized self, I must remain watchful at all times, even in moments of stress.
Music used: Inawashiro by Crownie Lofi
https://www.youtube.com/c/CrownieMusic
For a time, I had a bit of seething resentment toward some of my professors for what I perceived as “hassle” assignment scheduling, as well as the feeling that they were not being as understanding as I thought they would be given the pandemic.
But today I entered one such class and when I heard her speak, when I got to interact with the professor, I felt my animosity toward her fade away. The same goes for my classmates, some of whom were assigned to do group projects with me but were not able to contribute as much as I thought they would.
But upon hearing their stories and realizing how they react to mine, the feelings of camaraderie and compassion began to show their power. No longer was I in a Zoom call with ideas of imperfect people, but human beings who, like me, struggle but continue to want harmonious coexistence with others.
I feel that this situation was a real eye-opener, because there have been times when frustrations and misunderstandings begin to distort our views of other people. No one is safe – even close friends and family begin to look like evil beings when these feelings are left unchecked. Not engaging with them creates distance between us, and this distance threatens to warp our very perception of reality.
How many misunderstandings have turned into great animosity simply because we failed to clarify them and really talk about them with grace and the want for resolution? When we end up distancing ourselves from others because of such situations, we may find that we are suddenly psychoanalyzing them, giving them potential motivations that are not really there, and creating whole narratives that are based solely on our imagination.
How easy is it to just let go of these and confirm with the person, or just interact with them and realize that every human being has some degree of capability to exude warmth and the ability to become a friend?
If distance threatens to work against the mind, then it might be through the loving engagement with others that we can dispel hatred and instead cultivate warmth and friendship that the world so desperately needs more of in these dark and tumultuous times.
Music used: Inawashiro by Crownie Lofi
https://www.youtube.com/c/CrownieMusic
The thing that eats away most of my time in Genshin Impact is theorycrafting. Particularly, it’s finding ways to make two of my favorite characters work well together.
Recently, I found that one of the recommended teams for them is a pure fire-type combination, but I don’t usually like using just one element. Because then they’d struggle against fire-type opponents, but there in that kind of team, they had no space for other elements. I tried to find other characters to slot in but they just would not work as well, or they were just much worse to play with.
That had me thinking: was this a symptom of one-track mindedness?
If there are fire-type opponents, can’t I just swap to water or ice type characters, instead of forcing my pure fire-type team? That’s how it works in Pokemon, but my sentimental value just goes directly against logic in Genshin Impact.
That was it.
Just because I like a certain way of doing things doesn’t mean that it is the most effective for all cases. What works for a personal project might not work for a group project, and what was effective in high school might not be as effective at work.
I have to remember that different situations call for different responses. We cannot expect the world to adjust to how we want things to be addressed, for it does not revolve around us. We are not avatars in control of every element – but humans who adapt to our ever-changing environment.
As for Genshin Impact, I’ll probably continue playing my favorites, but having the ability to say “yes” to playing different characters is still important. After all, one-track mindedness is one thing, stubbornness is another.
Here’s to dealing with life with the appropriate ways to go about things.
Music used: Inawashiro by Crownie Lofi
https://www.youtube.com/c/CrownieMusic
Whenever I have a lot of things to do, I often plan out an entire week in advance, but they don’t often get followed, especially when unexpected situations happen. I typically get overwhelmed with feelings of anger and frustration, and I kind of don’t think I direct my anger towards the right things.
Today, I got tested for COVID, three days earlier than I was originally told, and while I know that it’s a very important thing to do, I felt that my schedule was going to get wrecked again considering the travel time to the nearest swabbing center and I admit I didn’t take that whole situation nicely.
I realized that that is among the critical things that I need to change within myself. The idea that I have full control over what happens in my day and all the circumstances surrounding it is unrealistic. Apparently I haven’t been very flexible in terms of my time, and I see now that there is a lot of value in it.
The captain of the ship can steer all he wants, but the storm and the wind can always set his course astray. If not, they at least make the ride bumpy, and it’s not the captain’s fault. That’s how nature works, and we should not beat ourselves up for the things that we cannot control.
Going forward, I’m going to have to train myself to be more flexible with scheduling, and not get myself into situations where I have to cram so many things all at once. Because in an ideal world, I would have finished every single task the same week they were given. I acknowledge that challenges exist left and right, but there are many things that we can do about them. Challenges aren’t always roadblocks, and being flexible allows us to maneuver about the rocks poking above the stormy seas.
For today, I’m going to keep praying for a negative COVID test result, and I hope that everyone around me, everyone in this world, will be all right.
Music used: Inawashiro by Crownie Lofi
https://www.youtube.com/c/CrownieMusic
My girlfriend and I make often make fun of the Genshin Impact NPC Amenoma Tougo, who says “The essence of the Amenoma Art, is [to have] the patience to move mountains and unrelenting willpower” whenever you pass him by.
It’s the only thing that Amenoma says, made funnier by his apprentice Hajime whining “Okay, okay” in the middle of the quote.
But I realized that that exactly is what I need to exercise more often. Patience and willpower. I think of myself as a rather organized person who likes making lists and schedules, but I find it hard to press on when it comes to finishing my academic requirements.
Doing too much of the same thing can lead to burnout, and you find it hard to keep enjoying them. Sadly that has been the case with my schooling, but that is where the Amenoma Art can come in.
You cannot move a mountain overnight. You have to take it rock by rock, from one location to the other. We have to break these tasks into little pieces that we can actually finish instead of overwhelming ourselves with the totality of the projects. Like it’s easy to say “I have five projects due the coming week” and be overwhelmed, but one can put up a reasonable fight if they subdivide said projects into tinier chunks that can be done one day at a time.
But a mountain is made up of millions upon millions of tiny rocks, so sustaining this patience requires unrelenting willpower. We now have many more smaller tasks and even the sheer number can threaten to overwhelm us, but we can at least decide that for this day, we commit to having the patience to complete what has been assigned. Then, we apply this unrelenting willpower to stick by these decisions in every coming day.
By sticking to our schedules, we can likely reserve enough time every day for rest and relaxation. And whenever we pass by old Amenoma Tougo during our gaming sessions, we’ll have some fresh insights on the wise man’s saying.
Music used: Inawashiro by Crownie Lofi
https://www.youtube.com/c/CrownieMusic
One of the key learnings I had last year was making sure that the time I spend with my partner was quality time. It means being mentally present in the time that you spend with the people you love. Or at least that’s how I understand it so far.
I spent most of today trying to work on my academics and came to think that while I invest a lot of time into doing them, they might not necessarily be quality time. Because of burnout, my mind is often not completely into the task at hand, so I end up getting distracted easily, and it’s a vicious, vicious cycle.
But looking back, I’ve come to think that maybe the burnout I experienced happened precisely because I wasn’t spending enough quality time with the work that I was given. I know I enjoy learning. But if I am not mentally present in the tasks that I do, they quickly become mundane chores that just ramp up in levels of tediousness.
I then compared this to the other things that I enjoy, such as video games, like Genshin Impact and League of Legends. I invest a lot of time in them, too, and I get to enjoy playing them with my friends. But does the time that I spend here add quality to my life?
I realized that the conversation needed to level up from there. Quality time should actually add quality to our time in this world. The time that we spend with our loved ones can help us grow in love, learn more about our partner or our friends or family, and it can help enrich the human experience. However vague that might sound.
But in the individual things that we do. Like hobbies, games, or interests. How much quality do they bring to our lives?
For example. I fell in love with Genshin Impact the day I started playing it. It had a wonderful story premise, engaging characters, and enjoyable gameplay, but where does it take you from there? The endgame is severely lacking, and once you clear the Spiral Abyss, what else is there for you to do? And once you get the characters that you want… what then? The story takes literal months per update, and it won’t be concluded until 2025 at the earliest. So why bother playing? Why have I invested so much time and money into this primarily single-player game?
As for League of Legends, if I play enough and train hard enough, I can maybe try to go competitive and earn money from this, but realistically, how many people can even reach that point where they can get paid enough money to make it their living? It is completely possible for me to gear my life towards that, but is the life of a competitive gamer really the life that I want?
Don’t get me wrong. I like these games. And I’m 99.9% sure that I am going to keep playing them. But I know what I want, and I want to be a storyteller. I want to work with pro wrestling business, not only because it is storytelling primarily, but by working with the local scene, I have a chance to help others earn money. And knowing that I’ll be investing my time into something that helps others as well makes it a worthwhile endeavor. Because I believe that helping others adds quality to our time.
So for today, I will be realigning my priorities, and spending quality time with the things and people who add quality to my time on Earth.
Music used: Inawashiro by Crownie Lofi
https://www.youtube.com/c/CrownieMusic
When I spent New Year’s Eve with my grandfather, I couldn’t help noticing him shed a tear while everyone else was stood up and welcoming 2022. It was his first New Year’s Day celebration without my grandmother, who died last July. No longer was he the “bad boy” of his town, and barely could I recognize the man I used to spar in Scrabble with.
It made me think about how we so often celebrate these occasions in happiness but never really get to think about those who welcome the New Year in grief. While noise might be a sign of celebration for some, others might find it unbearable. While some might see the fireworks as a symbol of hope for the coming year, others might find it a blinding contrast to the darkness they might be going through.
Contrast is an elusive topic in our world today. Some people see things in only black and white, while others might see more gray areas. But contrast is necessary to know what exactly is good and what exactly is bad, so we can go towards following the path of the just. Gray areas, on the other hand, only seem gray because we look at them from a distance, so all these nuances are muddled up together.
I believe we need to look at things more in terms of contrast, so we can more clearly see what things are acceptable, and what things are less so. And when we find that sadness colors our life gray, we may be called to look upon these events closer. Where is the negativity coming from? And where can we still find hope?
I have yet to truly experience grief at a very personal level, and important people in my life have pointed this out to me. Surely I don’t know how I would handle it yet, but I hope and I pray that I can still see the good when all else around me has gone to the bad.
Music used: Inawashiro by Crownie Lofi
https://www.youtube.com/c/CrownieMusic
Hello, and welcome to LOG DOT POD, a one-man show where logs turn into podcasts. This show is not meant for marketing growth, but for personal growth, as I reflect upon the blessings and challenges that come into our lives.
Throughout the years, I’ve noticed that putting my thoughts into words helps process what I go through into wisdom that can last years. Or, I might be misguided in some areas of my life, and I am helped by really looking into the things and whispers of God’s great universe.
If you find anything that I learn here helpful, feel free to share it with your friends and family, but at the end of the day, I am more than a marketer or a brand or a creator or an influencer — much like you, I am a wanderer in this life, leaving traces of my footprints, as I journey to where the wind takes me.
Have a wonderful day.
Music used: Inawashiro by Crownie Lofi
https://www.youtube.com/c/CrownieMusic