Chinese Lore Podcast: Recent Episodes
John Zhu
Classic Chinese novels and stories, retold in English and in a way that makes them more accessible to non-Chinese audiences. chineselore.com
San Zang does the "I don't want you around anymore!" routine again, but this time, Sun Wukong refuses to take it lying down.
An encounter with a group of robbers reignites some long-simmering relationship issues between San Zang and Sun Wukong.
The more San Zang resists, the more irresistible he seems to the women who have him in their power.
The queen of the Kingdom of Women puts on the full-court press for a man who has sworn to never touch women.
Comedic fun, or 16th-century Chinese rumination on the yin and yang of abortion access?
Dissatisfied with the speed of their food delivery service, San Zang, Zhu Bajie, and Sha Zeng go out of their way to find trouble, and succeed.
San Zang’s disciples finally do what they should’ve done from the get-go in their quest to tame the demon of the Heaven-Penetrating River.
San Zang throws caution to the wind and hits the road under questionable circumstances.
Sun Wukong goes head-to-head against the last remaining demon Daoist priest of the Slow-Cart Kingdom.
Sun Wukong visits the Dragon King of the West Sea and tells him to go collect his nephew.
Guanyin shows how she's all about mercy and compassion ... after she impales you with 36 knives.
Sun Wukong tells the villain who abducted his master that long-lost relatives were visiting, but demon boy is nonplussed.
San Zang delivers a small package and a big bombshell to the prince of the Wuji Kingdom.
After San Zang gets snubbed while seeking lodging, Sun Wukong insists on having a word with the manager.
Sun Wukong faces off against the demon kings of Lotus Flower Cave and their extended family.
Sun Wukong keeps the demon lords off balance with forgeries of everything -- fake gourds, fake rope, fake minions, fake mother ....
The pilgrims get a warning about the dangers that lie ahead, and one of the disciples begrudgingly goes on ahead to check it out.
In a series of tabloid talk-show moments, San Zang's host meets a son-in-law he never knew he had and is informed that someone at his court is not who he seems to be, while Zhu Bajie makes a shocking discovery about a member of his traveling party.
Dismissed by San Zang for his killing spree, Sun Wukong decides to let out some steam with ... a killing spree.
San Zang and Sun Wukong have a disagreement over whether the latter is demon hunter extraordinaire or just a cold-blooded murder-happy fiend.
Sun Wukong overlooks the most obvious solution in his quest for a magical cure to bring the ginseng fruit tree back to life.
We find out that San Zang isn't the first scripture pilgrim. So what happened to his predecessors?
Everybody is delighted at San Zang gaining a new traveling companion, especially his host.
The pilgrims spend the night with a family experiencing major buyer's remorse about their son-in-law.
The Black Bear Demon finds out that it doesn't feel so good to have a monkey swimming in your stomach.
The scripture pilgrims seek lodging at a monastery whose residents might need a refresher on the tenets preached by their patron deity.
Sun Wukong and his new master have a difference of opinion on when it's ok for a Buddhist monk to spill someone's brains and loot their clothes.
All's well that ends well, except for the princess whose soul gets dragged out of her mortal coil and hustled off to hell.
Everybody kept telling me how dangerous the journey to the West was, but seriously how bad can it possibly ... oh my god what are those things and what are they doing to my men?!!!
Guanyin crashes the emperor's Buddhist party and tells all the monks of the East what she really thinks of their scriptures.
We embark on a three-episode mini-arc to find out why the Tang emperor was convening a big gathering of monks.
The blind regains sight, and the dead rises. Is it a miracle ... or a zombie apocalypse?
The Buddha shows how far he would go (or make someone else go) to avoid paying to ship some scriptures to the East.
Sun Wukong proves to be such a handful that heaven has to go get a hero from another novel to take him on.
The Jade Emperor decides to take a different approach to try to keep Sun Wukong under control.
An immaculate conception shakes heaven and earth, and an anarcho-syndicalist commune gives itself over to a king.
A look at the real historical figures of the Zhou Dynasty's father-and-son founding duo.
In one afternoon's work, Jiang Ziya expands the pantheon of Chinese folk religion, and he's not too particular about who makes the cut.
A quick look at Jiang Ziya the historical figure vs. Jiang Ziya the fictional character.
A new day dawns for the kingdom, which is good news to everyone except Jiang Ziya's ex-wife.
The rebel forces come face to face with their chief enemy, and Jiang Ziya's got receipts.
With the enemy closing in, King Zhou is reduced to putting out "Help Wanted" posters to find anyone willing to fight for him.
As one demon buddy after another show their true form, the Shang commander keeps telling his human comrades that, "I had no idea those guys were snakes and pigs and goats. I swear!"
The Zhou forces find themselves stymied by a pair of new enemy recruits who seem to be always a step ahead of them.
Casualties continue to mount on both sides as the siege of Mianchi County drags on, while King Zhou gets help from some shady characters.
The Shang forces at Lintong Pass were holding their own thanks to a macabre banner, but then the worst possible thing happened -- their king sent reinforcements.
A Daoist elder shows up and tells the sect leaders, "I don't care who started it (though Grandmaster of Heaven clearly started it)! Now swallow these magic poison pills!"
Members of the Chan Sect upgrade their transportation options at the expense of their Jie Sect rivals.
The author recycles plot again as the Zhou forces encounter another pestilence-wielding sorcerer.
King Zhou gets literal and puts a figure of speech into practice, with predictably disastrous results.
The Chan and Jie Sects stop pretending they're frenemies and start acting like straight-up enemies.
A Shang commander learns the pros and cons of letting your kids talk to random beggar monks.
A member of the Chan sect discovers that there's no such thing as friendly competition with those jerks from the cow college down the road.
The Zhou army gets a timely visit from a helpful but uppity Buddhist friend in their fight against Kong Xuan.
Some quick background on two minor characters whose pacifist message fell on deaf ears.
Ji Fa decides that while he couldn't live with attacking his tyrannical king, he CAN live with paying said king a visit with a large army in tow, just to, you know, talk.
Jiang Ziya is finally ready to head East to dethrone the Shang, but then his king goes, "Wait, can't we all just get along?"
Jiang Ziya and company learn that in order to defeat their prodigal disciple's MacGuffin, they must collect three other MacGuffins to add to the one already in their possession.
The Chan sect has its hands full with yet another prodigal disciple and his lieutenant of mysterious origins.
The Shang commander gets some help from a feathered friend, while the novel's author recycles his old material.
The Shang commander Su Hu tries to get his comrade to buy in to his definition of a hero and a man of honor.
A long-lost member of the Shang royal house checks back into the story, shortly before his good sense checks out.
Under siege from an invisible foe, Western Qi seeks help from a guy who married his sister, a guy who had a transparent stomach, and a guy who invented math.
Fresh off their victory, Jiang Ziya and company decide to make the unwilling bride go through with the wedding that everybody knew was fake, and it only gets worse from there.
Deng Jiugong gets too clever by half in trying to scheme his way out of a prior promise.
Just when things look dire for the Chan sect, a couple adults show up on the scene to lecture the kids about showing their elders some respect.
To save Jiang Ziya, his fellow Daoists call on a senior consultant and borrow a sacred object dating from the time of creation to help them with a smash-and-grab.
The Daoist mafia war is in full swing as Grand Tutor Wen calls in a gaggle of his friends.
A missing umbrella and seemingly every slain foe's refusal to stay dead are proving to be a pain for the commanders of the Shang army.
Jiang Ziya gives his foes a taste of the future hell that is climate change, but soon finds himself besieged by even more powerful enemies.
Grand Tutor Wen sends an army West to teach Jiang Ziya and company a lesson about offering sanctuary to rebels.
Let’s focus more on who rescued whom and less on who kidnapped whose baby, said the Daoist master.
Grand Tutor Wen returns from another campaign and asks King Zhou, "Oh what the heck did you do now?!"
Grand Tutor Wen makes some progress on restoring order at court. Let's see how long that lasts.
King Zhou gets a new pleasure terrace, a party with gods, and a comfy new article of clothing.
Ji Chang and his ministers come perilously close to plagiarism in their search for a capable adviser.
Ji Chang undertakes a monumental construction project of his own and dreams about airborne mythical creatures.
An alleged simian assassination attempt is only a minor part of the insanity at court this week.
Jiang Ziya finally discovers something he's good at, and of course it lands him in trouble.
A dragon king tells the neighbor's punk kid to turn it down, with unforeseen consequences.
Ji Chang makes the trouble he predicted for himself come true by predicting trouble for others.
The ministers at the Shang court wrap up a rather intense work week, and King Zhou is still just getting started.
Left alone by their rescuers, the two princes set out on their quest to raise armies to avenge their mother.
With the enemy at his gates, Su Hu decides to lay the blame where it belongs -- on the teenage daughter who has not even appeared in the story yet.
Our story opens with a lesson in governing 101: Do not ogle creation goddesses through poem.
A brief overview of the next novel I’m covering, a leading work in the genre of gods and demons fiction.
Song Jiang continues his journey back to the capital, but how many of his brothers are coming with him?
With the end of the campaign within reach, Song Jiang’s forces converge on the rebels’ palace.
Song Jiang gets a heaven-sent opportunity, while the rebel emperor gets some help of his own.
To occupy his gang’s minds with something other than rebellion, Song Jiang volunteers to go put down a rebellion.
Lu Zhishen revisits his old haunts, while Song Jiang waxes poetic about the most Confucian birds.
The Middle Kingdom overfloweth with Sinocentrism as Song Jiang and company bring to heel the barbarians who reside in the desolate desert outpost of [checks notes] Beijing.
An envoy from the Liao tries to convince Song Jiang and his men to join the Great Resignation.
After their untimely run-in with an embezzling government representative, Song Jiang and company are under pressure to deliver some quick results in their opening battle against the Liao.
The imperial court hopes the third time is the charm when it comes to making nice with the bandits.
YOU SUNK MY BATTLESHIP! (And torched my fleet and killed my generals and burned my camp and …)
You just lost 60,000 men on your campaign? What are you going to tell the emperor? Wait … not telling him is actually an option?
We secretly replaced our heroes’ imperial wine with swamp water. Let’s see if they … oh crap they totally noticed!
After delivering justice on heaven’s behalf in his usual manner at the fair, Li Kui dabbles in a more comical delivery of justice at a nearby county.
On his way home after spreading holiday cheers in the capital, Li Kui decides to do some good deeds for civilians.
Song Jiang goes to the capital to partake in the holiday festivities, and a little extracurricular activity.
Our heroes pray to heaven for a sign, and heaven answers in the most literal way possible.
Liangshan sets its sights on another town that was just minding its own business, but a local general gives the bandits a literal bloody nose.
From attacking innocent towns to abducting women whose family you just slaughtered, it’s another honor-filled adventure for the heroes of Liangshan.
The imperial court prepares a retaliatory strike against Liangshan, while Li Kui goes rogue.
The bandits try one more time to spring Lu Junyi from jail, aided by some galaxy-brain holiday planning from the authorities.
To have friends come from afar, is it not a joy? If your friend is here to recruit you to Liangshan, then no.
The bandits find themselves in trouble when a descendant of the god of war comes knocking on their door.
Lu Junyi’s jailer discovers that there IS such a thing as having too much money shoved in your face.
Lu Junyi decides to take a road trip, and everyone’s got a bad feeling about it, except him.
No sooner had our heroes put down one group of upstarts did they discover another group that’s just asking for it.
Huyan Zhuo gets another crack at the Liangshan bandits, and a whole gaggle of other outlaws.
Huyan Zhuo’s simple quest for revenge turns into three side quests against leveled-up enemies.
The outlaws run up against a formidable foe and decide they need to “recruit” some more help.
As it turns out, iron-pledge guarantees from long-dead emperors do not count for as much as everyone thought.
The outlaws return to their tried-and-true recruitment tactics, and take it maybe just a step too far.
In a shocking twist, the ancient Chinese legal system delivers some semblance of justice and punishes constable violence, and all it took was sleeping with the magistrate.
The Xie brothers’ relatives mount their jail break, and then we rejoin the Liangshan outlaws outside the Zhu Family Manor.
Some relatives embarrass you at weddings, some get into political arguments at the holiday dinner table, and some threaten to fight you to the death if you don’t help them break some cousins out of jail.
After getting a bloody nose in their initial attack, the Liangshan forces take another crack at razing the Zhu Family Manor.
Our heroes storm to the gates of the Zhu Family Manor, intent on teaching the people inside a lesson.
An act of petty theft quickly escalates into a grave insult against the Liangshan heroes, somehow.
In between carving up pig carcasses, Shi Xiu sniffs out some shenanigans in his new household.
I recently did two interviews on other podcasts -- the Mandarin Slang Guide podcast and Journey to the West: The Podcast.
Don’t drink on this trip? I’ll drink as much as I please, damn the consequences. Oh, here come those consequences.
Nothing says “honor” quite like killing dozens of people who had nothing to do with your predicament, taking their stuff, and burning their town.
One day you are a respected craftsman making an honest living; the next day, some shady “deacon” shows up at your door with a lucrative gig for you …
In trouble for his drunken poetry, Song Jiang is forced into a crappy scheme to save his life.
While touring historical sites and indulging in fine drink and food, Song Jiang is driven by his misfortunes to write a few words.
Dai Zong introduces Song Jiang to his good friend Li Kui. Well, friend. More of an acquaintance really. I mean, a colleague. Actually, I don't usually hang out with him. Really.
Once again, we see how far money and reputation can carry a man, even when he's on his way to prison.
Song Jiang's Liangshan-bound cohort keeps growing, until he gets an unexpected message.
Meet the heroes of Clear Winds Mountain, who turn unsuspecting passers-by into soup and abduct and defile women on their way to visit their parents' graves.
Wu Song continues acting like the worst pretend monk ever and gets himself first into some cold water, and then into some hot water.
On the run from the law, Wu Song finds religion, and then quickly finds a way to break all of its tenets.
Wu Song’s enemies just couldn’t leave well enough alone, and soon find themselves facing the consequences — pissed-off consequences.
Wu Song finally finds out what Shi En wants his help with, and devises a way to turn a mob war into a drinking game.
Wu Song receives the best treatment the ancient Chinese legal system has to offer, despite his effort to invite the worst.
Wu Song stops in at a tavern and gets all nitpicky about the food, like the teeniest bit of pubic hair in the bun fillings.
Wu Song is determined to get to the bottom of his brother’s death, by any means necessary.
The murderers’ coverup goes off as planned … until a certain someone gets back in town.
If you have questions about the how’s and why’s of this podcast, or my thoughts on podcasting in general, post them at the Ask Me Anything hosted by WhatPods on December 16 at https://whatpods.com/show-development/ama/john-zhu.
While Wu Song is away, someone keeps hovering around his brother's house, hoping to get a bit of something hot and steamy (no, not Wu Dalang's buns).
Wu Song's happy reunion with his brother hits a snag when his brother's wife is a bit too happy to see him.
Despite the best efforts of the Yuncheng County justice system, Song Jiang somehow slips through the hands of the law.
Does a multitude of wrongs make a right? We find out this week as an adulterer stands up to a crooked justice system as the authorities try to cover up for one of their own, who runs afoul of the law after being blackmailed by his cheating mistress.
An evening that starts with Song Jiang being offered a big bag of gold goes horribly awry.
As our bandit friends herald the dawn of a new age of prosperity, we check in with their acquaintance back in Yuncheng County.
The last time Lin Chong vented, he cut off three heads. How many will he chop off this time?
Somebody forgot to explain to our heroes that "Lend me your ears" is only a figure of speech.
Which member of the Yuncheng County legal system is NOT trying to help Chao Gai escape? Raise your hand. Anyone? Anyone?
A tip from his no-good brother puts a down-on-his-luck investigator on the scent of Chao Gai and company.
If you can’t beat them, join them. Yang Zhi embarks on his life outside the law with a little dine-and-dash action.
Yang Zhi's approach to convoy duty: Try to rest before I tell you? That's a whipping. Try to get on the road before I tell you? That's a whipping. Look at me funny? That's a whipping. Complain about the excessive whippings? That's definitely a whipping.
Chao Gai sends a confidant to a fishing village in search of a few good men with no compunctions about theft.
Our story shifts to rural village life, which apparently includes receiving uninvited visitors from near and far, some of whom hit you up for food and wine in the middle of the night while others come bearing presents, of a sort.
It slices. It dices. It probably shouldn't be sold on a busy street in the capital. But wait, there's more!
Meet the new Lin Chong, stabber of hearts, remover of heads, and burner of old men’s beards.
A look at the growth of Buddhism during the Northern Song and the religion's relationship with the imperial government.
Just as Lin Chong starts to settle into his new life at the penal colony, his past pays him a visit.
I recently collaborated with the YouTube channel Invicta History on three videos about Three Kingdoms warlords. The videos were sponsored by Creative Assembly as part of the promotion for its new game Total War: Three Kingdoms. My role in the project was to provide research and record the narration for the videos. We covered Dong Zhuo, Cao Cao, and Liu Bei. It was a fun project. All three videos are out now, so have a look.
Lin Chong finds out first-hand that cash really does rule everything around you, especially when you’re caught up in the ancient Chinese legal system.
Back in February, I took part in a podcast conversation on the Invicta History YouTube channel with the host, Julien, and Peter Stewart, a writer from the team producing the coming “Total War: Three Kingdoms” game. We chatted for more than an hour, geeking out over the history of the Three Kingdoms period, the novel based on it, and how all of that is handled in the game. It was a fun conversation, and it was interesting for me to hear how the team worked to capture the essence of the story in the game. Have a listen.
Shady backroom deals, morally flexible guards, and a stretch of dodgy woods: Things are not looking good for Lin Chong.
We see how the "throw Lu Zhishen into a fecal pond" plan turns out, and then watch as he turns pest removal into a Strongest Man event.
A couple duels, a few corpses, and a big fire. Just another day on Lu Zhishen’s trip to the capital.
Lu Zhishen unexpectedly runs into an old friend. Well, a friend. More of a passing acquaintance, really. What do you call someone you don't mind stealing from?
Lu Zhishen meets an old man in need and offers to use his monk training to help the guy out. Wait, what monk training?
Lu Zhishen's new monastic family comes to the sobering realization that they just accepted a hard-drinking, mean-punching, latrine-spurning public-health menace into their midst.
On the lam after committing murder, Lu Da first runs into an old friend, and then runs into religion.
Shi Jin makes a new friend, and we explore the question on everyone’s mind: Exactly what DO you do with minced pork fat?
Shi Jin and the bandits from the nearby mountains make it a Mid-Autumn Festival to remember.
A quick look at the ancient Chinese game of football that allowed Gao Qiu to break into government service.
Wang Jin turns a one-night farm stay into a nice little gig by knocking his host’s son on his butt.
How do you rise up to be the future ruler's right-hand man? Certainly not through brilliance or hard work.
The capital is facing a crisis, and the only hope is basically the 12th-century Chinese equivalent of Anakin Skywalker from "The Phantom Menace." Ugh.
An overview of the podcast and an introduction to the Water Margin, aka Outlaws of the Marsh, one of China’s great classic literary works.
One hundred and fifty-three episodes later, we have finally reached the “long divided, must unite” part of the novel.
While their respective states are sizing each other up for conquest, the Jin and Wu commanders at the borders are getting along famously.
Sure I just lost my kingdom, but look at all the fun stuff they have in the Wei capital!
Everyone has a hidden agenda, except maybe for the guy suspected of hatching an insurrection. (Note: Special guest narrator this week)
A Shu commander tries to live up to his father's legacy, while a Shu prince refuses to follow his father's example.
While Jiang Wei scrambles to mount a last-ditch defense, his old nemesis searches for a way to go around his roadblock.
Meet two statesmen who really mastered the art of saying, "That's not in my job description."
Tired of Shu's perpetual encroachment on its borders, Wei decides to take the fight to its nemesis.
Discord between lord and vassal simmers in the court of Shu, while things boil over in the court of Wei.
While the Shu and Wei continue to slug it out in the West, the kingdom of Wu deals with internal unrest at the highest level.
Sima Zhao takes the emperor on a buddy road trip to put down another insurgence in a particularly troublesome part of the kingdom.
We say so long to the novel's pivotal player and wonder if he was really the genius the book made him out to be.
A couple generals down South stir up trouble for Sima Shi. Now if only their forces knew the way to his camp ....
Jiang Wei's Northern invasion meets the same fate as Zhuge Liang's, while Sima Shi borrows a few pages from Cao Cao's playbook for how to deal with imperial puppets who don't know their place.
Things go well for the kingdom of Wu and its political leader ... until they bite off more than they can chew.
Aided by an unexpected defection, Jiang Wei restarts the Northern campaigns by setting his sights first on the Northwest.
It's been a while since someone made a play to seize power from within. That changes this week.
A new threat emerges on Wei's northeastern borders, and he is just as bad at battle strategy as Jon Snow.
While Zhuge Liang sails off into eternal fame, the Wei emperor Cao Rui goes in search of eternal youth.
We delve into the story of the one-armed assassin and the guy who kicked his butt AFTER being assassinated.
After another promising Northern campaign gets short-circuited, Zhuge Liang prays to his former lord for the strength to carry on, because he's made up his mind and he ain't wasting no more time.
Just as he was getting into a groove, Zhuge Liang is rudely interrupted in the field by an urgent dispatch from his emperor.
A brief explanation of the story behind the most famous secret crossing in Chinese history.
You've seen Zhuge Liang kill someone with just his tongue. Now watch him kill someone with the written word.
Zhuge Liang's third Northern expedition gets off to a promising start, but what else is new?
Did you know that we had actually been rolling with just two official kingdoms all this time? Well, Sun Quan will fix that this week.
We delve into the life and career of the real Liu Bei to see if he is really as virtuous as the novel made him out to be (spoiler alert: No one can be as virtuous as the novel made Liu Bei out to be).
Zhuge Liang prepares to take another shot at Wei, but one old friend will not be joining him.
While Zhuge Liang picks up the pieces after his aborted Northern campaign, a Wei commander falls for a trick from the South.
When his campaign takes a drastic turn for the worse, Zhuge Liang is forced to resort to a desperate gamble.
Meng Da totally misses the point of a SECRET rebellion. Can Zhuge Liang's advice help him pull it off anyway?
While the Wei forces have their hands full with Zhuge Liang along the border, a new threat lurks deep inside their territory
Wei forces sent to stop Zhuge Liang first try to out-talk him, and then try again to outsmart him.
Matching wits with Zhuge Liang sounds like a horrible idea, but that won't stop multiple Wei officers from trying.
Zhuge Liang sends a 70-something general and a tax collector to lead the way for his Northern expedition.
We dive into the differences between the fictional and real-life Zhang Fei and ask, "Who really whipped that corrupt bribe-seeking government official?"
How do you appease the angry souls of the damned? Feed them buns that look like human heads and tell them death is no escape from imperial subjugation, apparently.
After a couple more displays of over-the-top kindness, imperial subjugation is starting to look kind of decent after all for Meng Huo.
Zhuge Liang's army marches deeper into the heart of darkness and forgets to read the part in the travel guide about bringing bottled water.
Zhuge Liang continues his campaign to win not only battles, but also barbarian hearts and minds.
Zhuge Liang barely breaks a sweat while cruising through level 1 of his Southwestern quest.
While Shu and Wu become best buds again, trouble pops up from the North and the Southwest.
An episode that starts with five armies bearing down on Shu somehow ends with nothing more than a showdown between pedants at a banquet.
A huge episode where we bid farewell to our favorite villain by delving into his real-life counterpart's life, career, and legacy.
Liu Bei gets sad, Cao Pi botches an invasion, and we read a poem by one of China's greatest poets.
In his most desperate hour, Sun Quan puts his faith in Lu Xun, but will his officers obey orders from a man they see as a pedant and a coward?
Liu Bei's team of old warhorses takes another hit, but two young stallions are waiting in the wings. This episode is brought to you by special guest Kaiser Kuo, host of the Sinica Podcast.
With Liu Bei bearing down on them, the Southlands try to tell him that they didn't really mean to kill Guan Yu; it was all a simple misunderstanding. We swear!
You would think the end of a 400-year dynasty would have more action than this, but it's all just decrees, counter-decrees, speeches, humble brags, and an unusually strong gust of wind.
We bid farewell to the Lord of the Beautiful Beard and talk about that time when Cao Cao stole the woman Guan Yu was going to steal from someone else.
While Guan Yu is busy fighting Cao Cao's forces, Lü Meng and Dongwu try to catch him unawares.
After an arrow causes a festering wound, Guan Yu signs up for a bleeding-edge surgical operation.
With Guan Yu bearing down on a couple of his key cities, Cao Cao dispatches a general who pledges his life to victory and shows he means it.
We delve into the relationship between Cao Cao and his secretary Yang Xiu, a man with a keen understanding of his boss's mind ... and a death wish.
After punching Cao Cao in the mouth, Liu Bei tries his best to keep his men from declaring him king, to no avail.
Cao Cao can't even get a good night's sleep as he tries to dislodge Liu Bei from the banks of the Han River.
Huang Zhong performs more heroic deeds, then Zhao Yun says to Cao Cao, "Hey, remember me?"
With the battle for Hanzhong in full swing, Liu Bei sends a senior citizen to chase off some rowdy kids.
You are a court official. Cao Cao just put down a coup, and now he's asking whether you helped put out the fire started by the rebels or just stayed home. What would you say?
We make virtually no progress in the narrative this week as we get tangled up in mysticism, superstition, and oh yeah, another conspiracy to overthrow Cao Cao.
After a general risks life and limb to save him, Sun Quan makes sure everyone appreciates the sacrifice.
Sun Quan tries to wrestle some territory away from Cao Cao, while at the same time playing peacemaker between two of his own officers.
A long overdue farewell to Dongwu's military genius, who had the misfortune of being alive in the time of Zhuge Liang. Or at least, that's how the novel tells it.
Liu Bei comes into some new possessions, and then tries to wiggle out of having to pay back his creditors in Dongwu.
I'm planning to make the 100th episode a Q&A session, so send in your questions to 3kingdomspodcast@gmail.com by September 30, 2016.
Liu Zhang looks for outside help to deal with the last outside help he brought in, while we hit pause to catch up with Ma Chao and his misadventures.
Zhang Fei discovers that all you need to do to get the Riverlands' finest to switch sides is to say please.
Just as numerous omens portended, disaster strikes Liu Bei's campaign in the Riverlands.
Cao Cao gets a promotion, nine very nice pieces of swag, and a hint about Sun Quan's imperial destiny.
This week, overflowing brotherly affection is expressed through deception in the East and sword dances in the West.
Zhang Song and his friend decide that honor and ethics demand that they betray their master and give his land to Liu Bei.
A look at the most legendary battle of the novel and how the fictional account differs from the real showdown.
Zhuge Liang delivers a heartfelt eulogy for a dearly departed friend, while Pang Tong shows how to advance your career by not doing your job.
Zhou Yu devises yet again scheme to take Jing Province, because he’s a glutton for punishment.
Liu Bei and his new wife try to flee from the murderously angry clutches of Sun Quan and Zhou Yu.
ROTK goes in search of higher TV ratings: Several role players get killed off, and we have a surprise marriage proposal.
After seeing his colleagues each conquer a county, Guan Yu wants in on the action, but an “old pawn” stands in his way.
While Dongwu and Cao Cao are busy fighting each other, Liu Bei expands his sphere of influence.
Zhou Yu fools Cao Ren; Cao Ren fools Zhou Yu; Zhou Yu fools Cao Ren again; Zhuge Liang fools everyone; Zhou Yu bursts a blood vessel.
Routed and trapped, Cao Cao and his haggard troops throw themselves at the mercy of the man blocking their path.
A little Christmas morning stocking stuffer: A look at some of the guys that Zhuge Liang keeps getting compared to.
The Battle of Red Cliffs goes badly for Cao Cao, but he still finds reasons to feel smug, much to his men’s chagrin.
After Zhuge Liang moves heaven and earth, Zhou Yu and Liu Bei move their troops into position for the coming battle.
Delighted by his invincible fleet and moved by the scenery, Cao Cao shows off his literary chops … until someone decided to play critic.
Zhou Yu and a couple other wise men of Dongwu spin an elaborate ruse for Cao Cao to faceplant into.
Zhou Yu presents Zhuge Liang with an invented problem. Zhuge Liang delivers an outside-the-box answer.
Zhou Yu gets visits from Liu Bei and an old school chum, and he cannot not be happier to see them.
Sun Quan formally declares war on Cao Cao, while his commander Zhou Yu secretly declares war on their supposed allies.
Zhuge Liang has a little homonymical fun with Zhou Yu as they discuss whether the Southlands should fight or submit to Cao Cao.
When Zhuge Liang finds himself in the same room as the Southlands’ foremost academics, the gloves come off and jabs fly. Verbal jabs, of course.
Zhang Fei’s cunning is the only things standing between Liu Bei and Cao Cao’s army. Well, that and his really loud, really deadly voice.
All hell breaks loose as Cao Cao’s troops catch up to Liu Bei. Out of this hell rides his general Zhao Yun, with a precious package strapped to his chest.
Zhuge Liang burns another detachment of Cao Cao’s troops, but there are plenty more where that came from.
Zhuge Liang blazes to victory in his first battle, but Cao Cao turns up the heat on Jing Province.
While Sun Quan prepares for a retaliatory strike from Liu Biao, Liu Biao and Liu Bei brace for an invasion by Cao Cao.
We bid goodbye to the once-mighty warlord of the North and delve into the story of a determined assassin.
Liu Bei’s strategy for finding Zhuge Liang: Go up to anyone in Nanyang who can rub two words together and ask, “Are you Sleeping Dragon?”
Liu Bei gets really broken up about Xu Shu’s departure, until he learns there’s someone much smarter.
Approach Liu Bei on the street, sing a song, get invited to his office, advise him to give his horse to an enemy, get C-suite job.
Liu Bei gets invited to a feast, but Lady Cai and her brother ruin the fun when they try to kill him.
The surviving Yuan brothers get a cold reception from their host up north, and Liu Bei commits a dinner-table faux pas down south.
Riding a wave of inevitability, Cao Cao sweeps the Yuan brothers out of their territories.
Cao Cao puts a couple more smackdowns on Yuan Shao, but then gets distracted by a pesky old foe.
Night raids, catapults, tunnels, fires. All these and more in a CG-packed episode and one of the most important clashes in the novel.
Liu Bei and his gang of loyal followers meet up for a reunion tour, with a few new faces in the mix.
Guan Yu leaves Xuchang with Cao Cao’s blessings. If only Cao Cao had bothered to tell the men guarding the checkpoints along the way ….
Guan Yu does a couple huge favors for Cao Cao and then discovers Liu Bei’s whereabouts.
As Guan Yu prepares to fight to the death against Cao Cao, an old friend gives him three reasons why that is a bad idea and three reasons for surrendering instead. Guan Yu responds with three conditions.
We take a look at the history of the more-trouble-than-it’s-worth imperial hereditary seal that everyone wants and everyone seems to regret getting.
While one of Cao Cao’s old enemies submit, he gets trolled by a new thorn in his side who just won’t shut up.
We saw Lü Bu exit stage left a couple episodes back. In this supplemental episode, we take a look at the historical Lü Bu versus his fictional counterpart.
Liu Bei gets out of the capital and does not look back. Yuan Shu becomes distraught after discovering the scarcity of honey.
Liu Bei develops a sudden interest in horticulture, while Cao Cao wonders out loud, “Who’s a hero?”
With Cao Cao baring his imperial ambitions for all to see, the emperor does the only thing he can — give his brother-in-law a spiffy outfit.
While Chen Gong tries to help Lü Bu hold off Cao Cao, Chen Deng and Chen Gui run circles around them.
Cao Cao’s awesomeness draws much fawning from his adviser Guo Jia, while the people of Xu Province express their love for Liu Bei through cannibalism.
Who’s more likely to lose his head in this episode: impostor emperor or granary officer? The answer may surprise you.
Cao Cao decides that he hates Lü Bu more than he hates Liu Bei, so “Liu Bei and I are like brothers.”
Priceless imperial heirloom as collateral? Check. An old pal as your strategist? Check. Ability to kill by the mere sound of your voice? Check, check, and check.
The Han court hits rock bottom, at which point Cao Cao is all too happy to ride in and … umm … defend the honor and dignity of the throne. Yeah, that’s it.
Someone’s wife gets the wrong impression that her husband is cheating on her, and the next thing you know, we’re poisoning household pets, ingesting waste, burning palaces, and abducting everybody who’s anybody.
After spending his down time picking off some ragtag rebels, Cao Cao moves to reclaim his territory, which brings us to a good point to look back at what we have covered so far.
Cao Cao and Lü Bu face off for control of Yan Province in a back-and-forth attempt to out-trick and outfight each other. And then the locusts came ….
Everyone gears up for a fight with Cao Cao over Xu Province, and then all of a sudden it’s the province nobody wants.
Our old friend Cao Cao is expanding his operation. Want to join? You just need to either be a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of someone who already works there, or be a man-beast who kills dozens of coworkers with your bare hands over a disagreement.
Dong Zhuo learns that broken chariots, wild horses, and melancholy songs are, in fact, not auspicious signs.
Expertly manipulated by Diao Chan, Lü Bu and Dong Zhuo come to blows over who gets to go to bed with a 16-year-old.
Sun Jian leaves his son in charge, while Dong Zhuo leaves his son out in the cold for a pretty face.
Now that they are not fighting Dong Zhuo anymore, the former coalition leaders have to do something to occupy their time. What better way is there to avoid idleness than waging war against each other?
Dong Zhuo moves the capital and turns the journey into a traveling horror show as only Dong Zhuo can, while the coalition becomes distracted when it discovers the one thing of value that Dong Zhuo left behind.
The coalition forces are marching for the capital, but first, they will have to get past Dong Zhuo’s top generals. The result is two of the most famous battlefield encounters in Chinese lore.
It’s a busy episode for Cao Cao. He gets out of a sticky situation, screws himself out of a delicious pork dinner, drops some life wisdom on his traveling companion, and then stirs up a whole lot of trouble for Dong Zhuo.
As Dong Zhuo rises to power, he bestows endless kindness on all mankind. He’s doing such a great job, in fact, that someone decides to give him a beautiful, bejeweled knife with a razor-sharp edge while he was lying down with his back turned.
“Only with Yi Yin’s talent can you act like Yi Yin.” So who is this Yi Yin? We dive into the story behind one line of dialogue from episode 4.
We’ve had rebellions, palace intrigue, a deadly power struggle, and a bloodbath at the imperial residence. But all of that was just the warm-up act. We are finally getting into the meat of the story, starting with ascension of Dong Zhuo, who’s like Santa Claus, just less jolly and more stabby.
He Jin makes his officers bang their heads against walls with his pathological inability to dispose of the eunuchs. Meanwhile, a bit character from episode 1, Dong Zhuo, drops by the capital with 200,000 of his best friends, just to say hi and see what’s up.
Liu Bei discovers that landing a government job in the Han court takes connections, patience, and a lot of dead rebels. And that’s BEFORE the leeches start ransoming you for a bribe. Fortunately, Zhang Fei resolves the matter diplomatically.
The first episode finds the empire in turmoil and three men of valor vowing to do something about it.
A quick overview of what I’ll attempt to do with this podcast. You can also read this explanation instead.