Will & Luke Discuss: Recent Episodes
Will & Luke Discuss
Lifelong friends, Will (Mental Health Social Worker, Australia) and Luke (Psychotherapist, UK), discuss influential books on personal growth, across fields of Psychology, Psychotherapy, Philosophy, Self-help and more.
We've been friends for 30 years (our whole lives) and really enjoy having these conversations. We hope you get as much learning as we have from these. Would love to read your comments and feedback. Shoot us an email at willandlukediscuss@gmail.com. Hope you enjoy. Will & Luke
This week we discuss 'The Wisdom of Insecurity' by Alan Watts. A seminal book of his that is an exploration of the law of reversed effort in a human's quest for psychological security and our efforts to find spiritual and intellectual security in religion and philosophy.
Hope you enjoy.
Will & Luke
00:00 Introductions
01:50 The Law of Reversed Effort
05:00 The Age of Insecurity (anticipation of pleasures and avoidance of pains perpetuates suffering) (Our inability to enjoy the present moment)
12:00 The 'I' we refer to (treating life as play) (perspective change)
14:30 How we try numb our negative experiences (how we repress pleasure when we try to repress pain)
18:45 The Wisdom of the Body (and it's interaction with the mind)
27:55 How we symbolise aspects of life as a barrier to experience
34:50 Being aware (and how we perpetuate pain)
39:45 The mind as a sponge and the transitory nature of life (more on labelling and the natural flow to life and experience)
45:00 The transformation of life (making choices and decisions)
50:15 The role and practice of morality55:30 Final reflections
Find the book at: https://alanwatts.org/This specific episode can also be heard/seen on: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tUgj_-sUzVw
Check our Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1Y_SKLFpax13442jA3giaw/videos
Listen to us on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2R1BRcriKWcvOU1XMJQhyW
Listen to us on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/will-luke-discuss/id1572512365
Listen to us on Google Podcasts: https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy81Zjk2YTNmYy9wb2RjYXN0L3Jzcw==
Also available on: Anchor, Breaker, Pocket Casts, Radio Public.
This week Luke interviews Will on his recent read of Chatter by Ethan Kross. We cover the key concepts of what mental chatter is, why we have it and the ways it can backfire. Then we get into some really practical strategies to combat it. A great read.
Hope you enjoy.
Will & Luke
00:00 Introductions
01:00 What is chatter
03:45 Why we have chatter
11:00 When talking to ourselves backfires (and discernment)
17:00 Zooming out
21:45 Temporal Distancing and Narrative writing
24:00 The role of perspective, CBT and compassion
30:45 The power and peril of other people. Utilising others to address chatter. Co-rumination trap
38:00 Tools that involve others which lower chatter temperature
41:30 Outside in - environmental supports for chatter. Voluntary and involuntary attention.
44:45 The shrinking of the self
49:30 Benefits of creating order (also rituals)
52:00 Placebo effect
54:30 Final reflections and summary
Find the book at: https://www.ethankross.com/
This specific episode can also be heard on: https://open.spotify.com/episode/1uDjy8SFXz8gaSmAlg26wR?si=a73ff58e2ccf494e
Check our Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1Y_SKLFpax13442jA3giaw/videos
Listen to us on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2R1BRcriKWcvOU1XMJQhyW
Listen to us on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/will-luke-discuss/id1572512365
Listen to us on Google Podcasts: https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy81Zjk2YTNmYy9wb2RjYXN0L3Jzcw==
Also available on: Anchor, Breaker, Pocket Casts, Radio Public.
This week we discuss 'The One Thing' by Gary Keller & Jay Papasan. A really interesting read in the area of productivity and lifestyle design which covers the way in which we can prioritise daily actions which serve our greater goals. We talk about the lies we live; by that everything matters equally, that multitasking is possible and how work/life balance isn't a thing amongst others. Also... The Focusing Questions: 'What's the ONE THING I can do such by doing that everything else will be easier or unnecessary'. We also unpack the concepts of the domino effect, extreme pareto, living by priority, living with purpose, sitting in discomfort of letting other areas of life fall behind as you pursue your one thing, living for productivity and time blocking. A really great way to view the different areas of your life and to put what matters first to get the greatest results in line with your values!
Hope you enjoy.
Will & Luke.
00:00 Introductions
02:20 The concept of 'The One Thing'
05:20 The Lies (1. Everything Matters Equally 2. Multitasking 3. A DisciplinedLife 4. Willpower Is Always on Will-Call 5. A Balanced Life 6. Big Is Bad)
10:03 Maintenance Habits vs Action Habits (and work life balance)
19:53 The Focusing Question 'What's the ONE THING I can do such by doing that everything else will be easier or unnecessary' (Big Picture, Small Focus) (The Domino Effect) (Extreme Pareto)
27:00 Live by Priority (We can have many priorities but there must be one thing right now It's in the journey) (Sitting with discomfort)
30:20 The ONE Thing across different life areas and distractions
37:00 Technology boundaries and distractions
39:45 The impact of these concepts on relationships (being present, deepening relationships)
41:15 Living with Purpose (making sure your daily actions honour this - + WHEN OUR DAILY ACTIONS FULFILL A BIGGER PURPOSE is when we are most happy) (An example)
42:00 The role of habits and finding ones that contribute towards other goals (and routines)
50:40 Planning your life, work and time off. (Time blocking)
54:45 The Four Thieves of our time, energy and attention: 1. Inability to say No 2. Fear of Chaos 3. Poor Health Habits 4. Environment doesn't support goals.
58:45 Final reflections
Find the book: https://the1thing.com/
This specific episode can also be heard on: https://open.spotify.com/episode/5D23iDqRIJsVInshlmBKxC?si=3648875efab34580
Check our Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1Y_SKLFpax13442jA3giaw/videos
Listen to us on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2R1BRcriKWcvOU1XMJQhyW
Listen to us on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/will-luke-discuss/id1572512365
Listen to us on Google Podcasts: https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy81Zjk2YTNmYy9wb2RjYXN0L3Jzcw==
Also available on: Anchor, Breaker, Pocket Casts, Radio Public.
This week we discuss 'The Art of Living' by Epictetus. An ancient stoic philosopher who's work has influenced much of the self-help and CBT literature of the modern day. We discuss the role of philosophy according to Epictetus, how to focus on what is in our control (as well as how to let go of those thing that are outside of our influence), taking an attitude towards ethical daily decision making, self responsibility and the call to action in life. Also how we develop ourselves in relationship to others and the impacts of our words, actions and attitudes with those around us. Alongside the power of habit and how to manage our higher ideals against the day to day tasks of living.
Hope you enjoy.
Will & Luke.
00:00 Introductions and context
03:30 The role of philosophy according to Epictetus - The process of becoming who we are
07:40 Focusing and what is in your control. What can we influence? (Call to in the moment mindfulness) (The impact of expectations and judgements) (Seperate reality vs projections)
15:50 Philosophy is for everyone. Application towards daily decision making. Call to self-responsibility and action. Consider who you want to be
18:30 We develop ourself in relation to others (Relational perspective)
21:35 The impact of other people in our lives
28:45 Impact of the conversations, interactions and media we consume
31:40 How are our attitudes, thoughts, words and deeds impacting others around us
36:50 The power of habit to facilitate living by your own ideals (and the cycle of negativity) (Influence on CBT + ACT alongside benefits of mindfulness)
42:00 Managing the day to day vs higher ideals
44:00 Luke's favourite quotes
49:00 Conclusions
Buy the book: https://www.sharonlebell.com/
This specific episode can also be seen on: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hMZcpkRhHhM
Check our Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1Y_SKLFpax13442jA3giaw/videos
Listen to us on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2R1BRcriKWcvOU1XMJQhyW
Listen to us on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/will-luke-discuss/id1572512365
Listen to us on Google Podcasts: https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy81Zjk2YTNmYy9wb2RjYXN0L3Jzcw==
Also available on: Anchor, Breaker, Pocket Casts, Radio Public.
This week we discuss Don't Sweat the Small Stuff... and it's All Small Stuff. A book which was full of nuggets of wisdom around how to keep perspective on life when caught up in day to tasks and worries. We discuss how to make peace with imperfection, how to stop our thoughts from snow balling and how we are what we practice the most. Plus much more.
Hope you enjoy.
Will & Luke.
00:00 Introductions (A book about perspective) (Ideas from ACT, CBT, Stoicism, Buddhism)
04:50 Altering our life by altering our attitude. Don't sweat the ball stuff 08:35 Watching the snowballing of your thoughts (the power of thoughts)(Transforming relationship with out thoughts)
13:40 Accepting all aspects of yourself - compassion
14:30 Try to take a broad perspective on life during the day to day (how to engage with others) (Listening to those closest to us)
18:40 Choosing your battles wisely and If someone throws you a ball you don't have to catch it (Boundaries)
22:00 Making peaceful with imperfection. What is success? Perfection? Balancing wider life purposeful when dealing with small stuff. Fixed vs Growth mindset. Expectations.
29:45 Lighten Up. Be sincere not Serious. Life as play.
33:25 Becoming an early rise and shifting morning routines. Structure, self responsibility accountability.
37:30 Remember, you become what you practice most (what behaviours and reactions are we cultivating in day to day moments)
42:10 Checking you ego and checking perspective in response to others
46:45 Wrap-up and final reflections
Buy the book: https://dontsweat.com/
This specific episode can also be seen on: https://youtu.be/-Uo562d9AYQ
Check our Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1Y_SKLFpax13442jA3giaw/videos
Listen to us on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2R1BRcriKWcvOU1XMJQhyW
Listen to us on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/will-luke-discuss/id1572512365
Listen to us on Google Podcasts: https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy81Zjk2YTNmYy9wb2RjYXN0L3Jzcw==
Also available on: Anchor, Breaker, Pocket Casts, Radio Public.
This week we discuss The Happiness Hypothesis. Jonathon has laid out for us 10 key ideas derived from ancient wisdom that guide us in ways to achieve human flourishing and happiness, taking a positive psychology approach. We talk about a number of concepts around aligning our values with day to day action, integrating our personality across multiple levels and ways to cope during adversity. We also look into what Jonathon means by 'Happiness Between', work's role in happiness, how to change our mind and his notion of training the 'rider' of our emotional 'elephant' in order to create sustained change. A real catch all episode.
Hope you enjoy.
Will & Luke.
00:00 Introduction
03:00 Elephant and Rider concept
5:30 The uses of adversity (post traumatic growth). 3 Levels of integration to achieve in our personality - basic traits, characteristic adaptations and our life story. Ways of coping - active, appraisal and avoidance. (Adapting self, adapting to environment and changing environment)
15:30 Pursuit of Happiness - Chapter 5 - Matching long term goals with short term ones. Taking action vs acceptance and loss of attachments. (Adaptation principle) (Progress principle)
21:10 Work's role in Happiness and discovering meaning (Engaging in our environment and work matching values)
25:15 Happiness Hypothesis - Happiness comes from between
30:00 Change your mind - Re-training the elephant through strengthening the rider! How to create sustained change. Tightening up vs loosening. 38:00 The Divided self - reason and emotion working together
39:40 Virtue Ethics - building individual virtues and character
42:00 Life being play (seriousness vs sincerity) playing our 'role' in life. Not investing life so intensely that it becomes stressful. (Life story is - Reconstructed past, perceived present and anticipated future)
47:00 Acceptance vs Striving
48:00 Conclusion
Find the book at: https://jonathanhaidt.com/
This specific episode can also be seen on: https://youtu.be/3wb9AnfCubM
Check our Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1Y_SKLFpax13442jA3giaw/videos
Listen to us on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2R1BRcriKWcvOU1XMJQhyW
Listen to us on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/will-luke-discuss/id1572512365
Listen to us on Google Podcasts: https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy81Zjk2YTNmYy9wb2RjYXN0L3Jzcw==
Also available on: Anchor, Breaker, Pocket Casts, Radio Public.
This week we look into Cal Newport's 'Deep Work'. Talking about how we can use our time wisely to focus on what really matters free from unnecessary distractions and how can be push ourselves to our cognitive limits. We discuss how deep work is a skill that requires training and how we can best use the limited amount of time and energy we have in a day. We cover concepts of task switching, the impacts of technology on concentration, how to create free mental space to work and replenish ourselves. With a lengthy discussion on the 4 types of 'Depth Philosophies' that we can engage in. We think this one builds really nicely on the back of digital minimalism by the same author.
Hope you enjoy.
Will & Luke.
00:00 Introduction
2:40 What is Deep Work and why is it so valuable
4:40 Impact of Technology
6:10 Busy vs Productive/Effective
10:15 Importance of deep work - what we choose to pay attention to and how to become less distracted and Flow. (Wider impacts)
15:15 Rules of Deep Work: Work Deeply (create the space/structure). It takes practice.
23:00 Depth Philosophies: Monastic (large chunk of time away), Journalistic (squeeze in deep work when you can), Rhythmic (clearly defined moments for deep work, develop a habit), Bimodal (day/few days off)
36:55 Other deep work strategies (embrace boredom, quitting social media, locking out sacred time, understanding your mental capacity, planning time to do specific tasks, schedule every part of your day, end of day rituals, treat emails as a distraction).
44:00 Training yourself to rejuvenate vs training to do deep work. Meaningful leisure not just 'chilling out'.
46:30 'Humans were born to be busy' - push yourself
49:00 Deep Work can be calculated by how long it would take to learn.
52:00 Conclusions
Find the book: https://www.calnewport.com/books/deep-work/
This specific episode can also be watched on: https://youtu.be/PvkmvKYSGJU
Check our Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1Y_SKLFpax13442jA3giaw/videos
Listen to us on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2R1BRcriKWcvOU1XMJQhyW
Listen to us on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/will-luke-discuss/id1572512365
Listen to us on Google Podcasts: https://www.google.com/podcasts feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy81Zjk2YTNmYy9wb2RjYXN0L3Jzcw==
Also available on: Anchor, Breaker, Pocket Casts, Radio Public.
How do we make friends, create networks and maintain strong ties with those in our lives? What reasons do people come and go from our lives? And, how can we deepen our friendships in moment to moment interactions? We discuss Marissa's ideas around social chemistry and the 3 types of networks/styles we adopt (Expansionists, Conveyers and Brokers). We also get stuck into ideas around work/life balance, the impact of technology on friendships and how we can diversify our networks.
Hope you enjoy.
Will & Luke.
00:00 Introductions and Communication Styles/Ties
04:28 Structures of Networks + What is friendship and how does it develop?
9:30 Expansionists
14:21: Conveners
16:30 Brokers
19:15 Friendships - 'In the Moment' + Impact of phone use + Follow up questions
27:10 Barriers to and enhancers of communication (Enhancing self awareness and self faculty)
35:33 Oscillating between Broker and Convener - changing styles throughout life.
37:42 Work/Life Balance (Segmenters vs Integrators)
44:20 Energising vs Draining friendships
47:00 Maintenance through technology and shared activities
52:25 Who we are drawn to as friends and expanding diversity of networks
55:40 Final reflections and wrap up
This specific episode can also be seen on: https://youtu.be/aOvZ7MFLR4U
Check our Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1Y_SKLFpax13442jA3giaw/videos
Listen to us on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2R1BRcriKWcvOU1XMJQhyW
Listen to us on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/will-luke-discuss/id1572512365
Listen to us on Google Podcasts: https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy81Zjk2YTNmYy9wb2RjYXN0L3Jzcw==
Also available on: Anchor, Breaker, Pocket Casts, Radio Public.
Purchase the book: https://marissaking.com/socialchemistry
This week we discuss Cal Newport's 'Digital Minimalism'. As technology, apps and social media continue to grip our attention and affect us in a multitude of negative ways, how can we gain back control? How can we optimise and extract value from the technologies we currently use so we have more time for meaningful activities and connections? We discuss some of the practices Cal suggests, as well as looking at aspects of having a digital declutter, the benefits of solitude and curating our information diet. A real practical episode with plenty of take aways.
Hope you enjoy.
Will & Luke
00:00 Introductions
2:15 Digital Life and the Philosophy of new technology
6:30 The Digital Declutter 8:50 Our inability to be alone
9:20 Technology and our core needs
10:50 Connection vs Conversation (Shallow vs Deep interactions) (Conversation centric communication)
15:30 Texting, compulsions, freedom
19:00 Utilising the benefits of technology - optimisation and extracting the value
24:05 Benefits of solitude and practices
32:00 Scheduling low quality leisure
33:25 Single purpose devices, utilising functions, notifications and other practices
36:00 Curating your information diet
38:30 Making your life full of non phone based activities + Doing 'nothing' is over-rated (Discover valuable activities)
43:00 Re-connecting with the body
44:20 Will's key take-aways
46:00 Conclusions around digital minimalism
This specific episode can also be seen on: https://youtu.be/HKoee_TWD00
Check our Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1Y_SKLFpax13442jA3giaw/videos
Listen to us on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2R1BRcriKWcvOU1XMJQhyW
Listen to us on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/will-luke-discuss/id1572512365
Listen to us on Google Podcasts: https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy81Zjk2YTNmYy9wb2RjYXN0L3Jzcw==
Also available on: Anchor, Breaker, Pocket Casts, Radio Public.
Purchase the book: https://www.calnewport.com/books/digital-minimalism/
Carpe Diem! Seize the day! You only live once! So many catch-all philosophies for living but what do they actually mean and how can we best live life to the fullest. This week we discuss the 5 ways that we can seize the day, extract full meaning from our days and look back on our life with few regrets. Also the ways in which we sculpt ourselves through our choices and the power of autonomy. We discuss how Carpe Diem has been hijacked, the cultural impacts on our ability to seize the day and the psychological blocks we can experience when trying to make the most of our lives. Ideas around death, freedom, power, procrastination, spontaneity, hedonism, mindfullness and the grasping of opportunity are explored.
Hope you enjoy.
Will & Luke.
00:00 Introductions and old meanings of Carpe Diem
04:30 Cultural Highjacks of Carpe Diem
08:50 Cultural impacts
10:10 The 5 Ways to 'Seize the Day' (Spontaniety, Opportunity, Presence, Politics, Hedonism)
10:50 'Opportunity'
16:30 'Dancing with Death' and 'Death tasters'
24:25 The 'Role' Breaker
29:00 Moving life into 'Chaos'
30:10 'Hedonism'
34:40 'Presence'
43:30 I choose, therefor I am. Meaning through autonomy and choice. How we shape ourselves. (Act first think later)
48:10 'Spontaneity' - Improvised, unplanned living
54:47 Impact of technology on spontaneity
56:15 Psychological blocks to Carpe Diem (Risk, Overload, Apathy and Procrastination)
1:08:20 Conceptualising morality within Carpe Diem ideas
1:10:10 Wrap up
This specific episode can also be seen on: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eXbjT723BsY
Check our Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1Y_SKLFpax13442jA3giaw/videos
Listen to us on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2R1BRcriKWcvOU1XMJQhyW
Listen to us on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/will-luke-discuss/id1572512365
Listen to us on Google Podcasts: https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy81Zjk2YTNmYy9wb2RjYXN0L3Jzcw==
Also available on: Anchor, Breaker, Pocket Casts, Radio Public.
Find the book: https://www.romankrznaric.com/carpe-diem-regained
A lively discussion about Jordan Peterson's latest book, Beyond Order: 12 More Rules for Life. We cover some of the chapters we found most inspiring and actionable.
Hope you enjoy.
Will & Luke
00:00 Introductions
07:00 Titles of the rules
09:25 Rule 2: Imagine who you could be and aim single mindedly at that
16:50 Rule 5: Do not do things you hate
26:30 Rule 3: Do not hide unwanted things in the fog
30:40 Rule 11: Do not allow yourself to become resentful deceitful or arrogant.
36:30 The narratives we have of the world
41:15 Rule 12: Be grateful despite your suffering
45:35 Rule 8: Try to make one room in your house as beautiful as possible
53:40 Chapter 9: If old memories still haunt you, write them down carefully and completely
1:00:33 Final reflections
Buy the book: https://www.jordanbpeterson.com/beyond-order/
This specific episode can also be seen on: https://youtu.be/zCSK9jnbRTY
Check our Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1Y_SKLFpax13442jA3giaw/videos
Listen to us on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2R1BRcriKWcvOU1XMJQhyW
Listen to us on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/will-luke-discuss/id1572512365
Listen to us on Google Podcasts: https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy81Zjk2YTNmYy9wb2RjYXN0L3Jzcw==
Also available on: Anchor, Breaker, Pocket Casts, Radio Public.
This episode we look at Attachment Theory. We dive into: the four attachment styles (Secure, Ambivalent, Avoidant and Disorganised); the six domains of attachment theory; narrative approaches in psychotherapy; the construction of self; achieving an internal secure base; and balancing our needs for intimacy and authenticity.
This is really dense and informative episode. We worked a lot out in real time. It was a challenging read, and a pleasure to discuss.
Hope you enjoy.
Will & Luke
- 00:00 Introductions
- 2:00 What the book is about?
- 4:20 Background on attachment theory (The strange situation) Secure, Ambivalent, Avoidant and Disorganised.
- 13:50 6 Domains of Attachment Theory (The Secure Base, Protest, Assertiveness and Anger, Exploration and Play, Loss, Internal working models, Reflection Function and Narrative Competence)
- 21:40 The Adult Attachment Interview
- 26:55 Attachment and Narrative in Psychotherapy
- 40:05 Construction of Self (vs Attachments in relationship)
- 47:30 Trusting oneself and self-compassion
- 50:55 Need for intimacy and authenticity
- 54:55 How to achieve internal secure base (with others?) (How change happens)
- 1:03:20 Final reflections (Nurturing feelings and self-acceptance) (Maintaining narratives)
This specific episode can also be seen on: https://youtu.be/pq2xSsd9I1s
Check our Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1Y_SKLFpax13442jA3giaw/videos
Listen to us on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2R1BRcriKWcvOU1XMJQhyW
Listen to us on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/will-luke-discuss/id1572512365
Listen to us on Google Podcasts: https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy81Zjk2YTNmYy9wb2RjYXN0L3Jzcw==
Also available on: Anchor, Breaker, Pocket Casts, Radio Public.
How can we retain the value of the content we consume from all the various inputs in our lives in a structured way? How do we tie together all the unclosed loops in our mind?
This episode we get stuck into Tiago Forte's 'Building a Second Brain'. Forte encourages us to create a system outside of our (first) brain to organise, preserve and recall information in a meaningful way. We look at his CODE System and PARA Method alongside ideas about how we organise our lives in an increasingly digital world.
Hope you enjoy.
Will & Luke
- 00:00 Introductions
- 6:00 Purpose of Building a Second Brain
- 9:00 The CODE System (Capture, Organise, Distill, Express)
- 13:55 Capturing (Inspiring, Useful, Easily Lost and Personal)
- 23:45 PARA Method (Projects, Areas, Resources and Archives)
- 31:00 Not software specific (Being versatile)
- 34:10 Categories must be personal
- 35:10 Archives 38:00 Weekly review (Email, Calendar, Desktop, Notes, Tasks)
- 43:25 Wide view on switch from paper to digital 50:30 Distilling (and progressive summarisation)
- 54:28 Express (doesn't have to be done to express)
- 55:55 Key take-aways (Starting with abundance) (Capturing your passions)
References:
Tiago Forte's Building a Second Brain Blog Posts:
- Building a Second Brain Overview: https://fortelabs.co/blog/basboverview/
- PARA Method: https://fortelabs.co/blog/para/
- Weekly Review: https://fortelabs.co/blog/the-one-touch-guide-to-doing-a-weekly-review/
Tiago Forte's Building a Second Brain Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/episode/46BdDKMSBxYXKpjSoYtP2X
Schools Sucks Project Podcast on Building a Second Brain:
- https://schoolsucksproject.com/706-building-a-second-brain-part-1-of-2-podcast-706/
- https://schoolsucksproject.com/buildingasecondbrain2/
David Allen's Getting Things Done (GTD): https://gettingthingsdone.com/
This specific episode can also be seen on: https://youtu.be/m5Jn0XIF4Tg
Check our Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1Y_SKLFpax13442jA3giaw/videos
Listen to us on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2R1BRcriKWcvOU1XMJQhyW
Listen to us on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/will-luke-discuss/id1572512365
Listen to us on Google Podcasts: https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy81Zjk2YTNmYy9wb2RjYXN0L3Jzcw==
Also available on: Anchor, Breaker, Pocket Casts, Radio Public.
This episode we explore stress: what it is, its physiological impacts, and what we can do about it. We talk about warning signs, burn-out, ways of de-activating the stress response, the impacts of chronic stress, and how to modulate it. We highlight in particular how the psychological and physiological cannot be considered as separate. With this in mind, we consider the social contributors of stress, and how the way we structure our time impacts our stress levels.
Hope you enjoy.
Will & Luke
- 00:00 Introductions
- 05:25 What stress is
- 11:10 Nervous System (Parasympathetic vs Sympathetic) and the Endrochrine System
- 14:30 Turning the stress response off
- 20:00 Realising the importance of science + truth
- 22:50 Early warning signs (Predictability and Control)
- 38:00 How we modulate our stress response (Impact of temperament, personality, world view) (Cognitive framing) (Impact of self esteem/self worth)
- 44:30 Stress and Depression
- 51:50 Social contributors and impacts of stress
- 59:15 Key takeaways for managing stress
- 1:07:14 Stress and Striving (overloading yourself) (Planning your week)
- 1:14:00 Final reflections
This specific episode can also be seen on: https://youtu.be/Xg9rcnE8-WY
Check our Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1Y_SKLFpax13442jA3giaw/videos
Listen to us on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2R1BRcriKWcvOU1XMJQhyW
Listen to us on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/will-luke-discuss/id1572512365
Listen to us on Google Podcasts: https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy81Zjk2YTNmYy9wb2RjYXN0L3Jzcw==
Also available on: Anchor, Breaker, Pocket Casts, Radio Public.
This episode we look into Tara Brach's concept of Radical Acceptance, which explores ways of opening up to uncomfortable feelings with a compassionate attitude and willing acceptance. We look at the importance of the sacred pause, compassion in relationship, striving vs acceptance and not using mindfulness as a control strategy.
Hope you enjoy.
Will & Luke
- 00:00 Introductions
- 4:40 The trance of unworthiness
- 11:25 Striving vs Acceptance
- 12:50 Person Centred Theory (Internal vs External Locus of Control)
- 17:30 Radical acceptance vs desire (Striving vs Acceptance) (Needs not as a response to threat)
- 25:10 Opening our heart (anticipation of pain makes us self preserve through stories)
- 32:15 The Sacred Pause (within interactions)
- 40:20 Compassion not as a means to 'achieve something'
- 41:35 Visualisation and Intention Setting 46:45 Acceptance in Relationship (Widening circle of compassion) (Not treating others as objects)
- 53:25 Awakening together and communication (Genuine intimacy)
- 1:00:00 Final Reflections (Sitting deeply with our feelings, not mindfulness as avoidance)
References: https://www.tarabrach.com/
This specific episode can also be seen on: https://youtu.be/qLVRl_E5hYY
Check our Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1Y_SKLFpax13442jA3giaw/videos
Listen to us on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2R1BRcriKWcvOU1XMJQhyW
Listen to us on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/will-luke-discuss/id1572512365
Listen to us on Google Podcasts: https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy81Zjk2YTNmYy9wb2RjYXN0L3Jzcw==
Also available on: Anchor, Breaker, Pocket Casts, Radio Public.
From this seminal book in the self-help field, we start by discussing the maturity level of independence, and its three corresponding habits: Be Proactive; Begin with the End in Mind; and Put First Things First. We then move on to the three habits of interdependence: Think Win-Win; First Seek first to Understand, Then to Be Understood; and Synergise. We also explore ideas around: paradigm shifts; our circle of concern vs. circle of influence vs. circle of control; emotional security bank accounts; honesty; and integrity -- so much covered. We really liked this one!
Hope you enjoy.
Will & Luke
- 00:00 Introductions
- 06:15 What Covey defines as a habit
- 07:30 Principles vs Values
- 10:40 Production vs Production Capability (The maturity continuum)
- 14:30 Principle centre (example of a paradigm shift)
- 23:30 Habit 1 - Being Proactive (a private victory) (Circle of influence and concern) (Direct, indirect or no control)
- 37:00 Habit 3 - Putting first things first (Time quadrants) (Daily adapting/flexibility and subordinating to higher values)
- 49:40 Emotional internal security account deposits. Personal leadership (Habit 2)
- 55:55 Public Victories (Habits 4 Think Win/Win, 5 Seek first to understand before being understood, 6 Synergise) (Putting you map to one side)
- 1:04:30 Keeping to commitments. Honesty and Integrity
- 1:08:00 Emotional bank accounts and being present in each others company
- 1:12:45 Habit 4 Think Win/Win (No deal is an option)
- 1:23:05 Habits 6 - Synergise - Creative Cooperation
- 1:26:30 Habit 7 - Sharpen The Saw (Tone, Connection, Spirituality + Autonomy)
- 1:33:20 Final reflections
Find the book: https://www.franklincovey.co.uk/the-7-habits-of-highly-effective-people/
This specific episode can also be seen on: https://youtu.be/I3MSlgI5-2Y
Check our Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1Y_SKLFpax13442jA3giaw/videos
Listen to us on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2R1BRcriKWcvOU1XMJQhyW
Listen to us on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/will-luke-discuss/id1572512365
Listen to us on Google Podcasts: https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy81Zjk2YTNmYy9wb2RjYXN0L3Jzcw==
Also available on: Anchor, Breaker, Pocket Casts, Radio Public.
More than just tidying, we unpack the spirit of the 'Konmari Method'. We discuss ideas such as: what items spark joy, restoring balance in one's personal space, letting go of the past, fear of the future, and the deeper meanings of the connections we have with our possessions. We also explore the wider implications of a balanced environment, and how tidying can harness our decision-making ability and our intuition about what's truly important.
Hope you enjoy.
Will & Luke
- 00:00 Introduction
- 07:43 The aspects of tiding up (Getting rid of things and putting things away) Perfection as the aim
- 11:40 Attitude of tidying up from Marie Kondo (Function, information and emotional attachment)
- 15:45 Identity and tidying up (Restoring psychological balance)
- 20:32 It's not about the amount of stuff you have/Lifestyle impacts/financial thoughts/charity donating
- 26:10 Gifting and others view on your discarding
- 31:40 We aren't taught to tidy
- 33:00 Minimalism vs Maree Kondo Method (Practical vs Emotional)
- 37:00 Clothes
- 45:15 Books + Diaries + Cards
- 52:40 Not just chucking stuff away for the sake of it. Healthy joy vs unhealthy attachment
- 54:30 Gifts
- 55:55 Wider implications (learning to listen to yourself and decision making) (Possessions as an extension of who you are)
- 59:50 Responsibility and Clarifying our wants
- 1:01:30 Miscellaneous + Mementos (either own them or don't)
- 1:03:30 Moving House and Visualising
- 1:07:37 Making a shrine
- 1:10:40 Final reflections
Buy the book at: https://konmari.com/
This specific episode can also be seen on: https://youtu.be/pOFS32s1JfM
Check our Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1Y_SKLFpax13442jA3giaw/videos
Listen to us on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2R1BRcriKWcvOU1XMJQhyW
Listen to us on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/will-luke-discuss/id1572512365
Listen to us on Google Podcasts: https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy81Zjk2YTNmYy9wb2RjYXN0L3Jzcw==
Also available on: Anchor, Breaker, Pocket Casts, Radio Public.
We discuss some timeless wisdom from Roman Stoic (and Emperor!) Marcus Aurelius. Stoicism teaches us that our perception of the world is what determines how we feel, not the reality of the world itself. With that in mind, we cover ideas of striving vs. acceptance, active participation in life, a willing acceptance of 'fate', death, praise, goal setting, self-deception, values, truth, freedom, and the importance of working on one's character. This is one of Will's personal favourites.
Hope you enjoy.
Will & Luke
- 00:00 Introductions
- 4:00 About Marcus Aurelius and the book
- 5:00 Overview of Stoicism (perceiving things objectively, active participation and cooperation with the world, willing acceptance of fate) 14:15 Structure of the book and links to current self-help books
- 17:30 Striving vs Acceptance (focusing on the moment, aiming high)
- 24:40 Working on your character, telling the truth, and self deception. 'If it's not right, don't do it. If it's not true, don't say it'
- 31:55 Striving, goals, and death
- 41:00 Each moment being a chance to choose your reaction and action. Choose now. Cost of goals ahead of means. Don't loose values in attainment of goals (we can forget).
- 46:55 You can choose to within at any given moment to renew (and others opinions)
- 49:11 Luke's stand outs (Other's praise, Death, Truth + Nature, Popular beliefs, Freedom through redirecting to be free from an old way of thinking, Harm through inaction)
- 57:45 Final thoughts
This specific episode can also be seen on: https://youtu.be/j-lAMUOxKlk
Check our Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1Y_SKLFpax13442jA3giaw/videos
Listen to us on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2R1BRcriKWcvOU1XMJQhyW
Listen to us on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/will-luke-discuss/id1572512365
Listen to us on Google Podcasts: https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy81Zjk2YTNmYy9wb2RjYXN0L3Jzcw==
Also available on: Anchor, Breaker, Pocket Casts, Radio Public.
This episode we reflect back over all the content we've consumed in 2020, and springboard some ideas for areas of growth in 2021.
- 00:00 Introductions
- 2:00 Habits (tracking and environment)
- 5:15 Sleep (winter vs summer)
- 8:00 Delayed gratification and self compassion
- 10:30 Black and white thinking. Striving vs Acceptance
- 13:00 Order and Structure
- 17:00 Incorporating self help content
- 18:35 4 Hour Work Week + Tony Robins - Time of Your Life
- 21:35 Boundaries and communication
- 25:55 Mindfulness and awareness raising (and it's negatives)
- 32:00 Toxic positivity (Accepting Inner life and behaviour and responsibility)
- 41:00 Reflections on the project (Remembering self vs experiencing self; Flow; Process vs Outcome; Examined vs Unexamined life)
- 47:45 Effortless progress and working against the culture/environment you're in
- 53:03 Benefits of religious cultures/pre-defined structures and groups
- 55:30 Lifestyle design
- 57:40 Final Reflections
This specific episode can also be seen on: https://youtu.be/gz0dpYlO2cw
Check our Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1Y_SKLFpax13442jA3giaw/videos
Listen to us on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2R1BRcriKWcvOU1XMJQhyW
Listen to us on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/will-luke-discuss/id1572512365
Listen to us on Google Podcasts: https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy81Zjk2YTNmYy9wb2RjYXN0L3Jzcw==
Also available on: Anchor, Breaker, Pocket Casts, Radio Public.
This episode we unpack Peterson's notions of self responsibility, values, defining goals and confronting chaos with truth and order. We also explore ideas around choice points, not sweeping things under the rug, telling the truth, clarifying motives, acting towards well-defined ends and allowing life to unfold. This book is a real call to action and a reflection on what's important, looking at the barriers to living purposeful and happy lives through the adoption of responsibility.
Hope you enjoy.
Will & Luke
- 00:00 Introductions
- 4:00 Authors approach to writing
- 7:20 Treat yourself like someone you are responsible for helping
- 12:15 Being precise in your speech
- 13:25 Order vs Chaos (comfort zones)
- 17:30 Stop doing what you know not to be true. Denying reality.
- 24:10 Sweeping things under the rug - choice points
- 32:10 Self Authoring Program (Responsibility and control)
- 36:30 Pet a cat when you encounter one on the street (Appreciating beauty, being is becoming)
- 43:50 Humour as a strength
- 46:15 Sentiments of The 12 Rules
- 49:30 Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not who someone else is today
- 54:40 Goal settings and processes (Also look at who you DON'T want to be). Enjoying the growth process
- 59:10 Assume the person you are talking to knows something you don't AND make friends with people who want the best for you
- 1:03:02 The benefit of being in new places and new beginnings
- 1:08:55 Cultural impacts on striving/success
- 1:13:00 Stand up straight with your shoulders back (Body language)
- 1:15:20 Final reflections
Purchase the book at: https://www.jordanbpeterson.com/ https://www.selfauthoring.com/
This specific episode can also be seen on: https://youtu.be/04OLdD8PoWQ
Check our Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1Y_SKLFpax13442jA3giaw/videos
Listen to us on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2R1BRcriKWcvOU1XMJQhyW
Listen to us on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/will-luke-discuss/id1572512365
Listen to us on Google Podcasts: https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy81Zjk2YTNmYy9wb2RjYXN0L3Jzcw==
Also available on: Anchor, Breaker, Pocket Casts, Radio Public.
From Eric Berne's seminal book 'Game People Play', we look at the ways in which people communicate and structure time through social intercourse and 'Games'. We explore our human needs for Stimulus, Recognition and Structure hunger, and how we utilise ego states (Parent, Adult or Child) and systems of structuring time (Rituals, Pastimes, Activities, Games or Intimacy) to get these needs met. We then explore how to interact with more intimate and authentic communication, sharing our inner life candidly, without utilising avoidance strategies. This was all really interesting.
Hope you enjoy.
Will & Luke
- 00:00 Introductions
- 2:45 'Games' and 'Strokes' (Also, Time Structuring - Withdrawal, Rituals, Pastimes, Activity, Games & Intimacy)
- 6:50 What is a 'game' - ongoing ulterior transactions, well defined and predictable outcomes. Professional games and social games.
- 08:15 'Strokes' - through social intercourse we crave - Stimulus hunger, Recognition hunger and Structure hunger) and Pastimes (structured interval of time)
- 15:15 Ego States - Coherent system of behaviour patterns and feelings (Adult -critical or nurturing, Parent, Child - adaptive or free)
- 22:15 Complimentary and crossed transactions
- 28:43 Types of Games (Interior motives vs exterior communication)
- 45:45 Authentic communication through different ego states
- 53:50 Psychiatry
- 1:05:00 Final reflections
Purchase the book at: http://www.ericberne.com/games-people-play/
This specific episode can also be seen on: https://youtu.be/B7_khM4I704
Check our Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1Y_SKLFpax13442jA3giaw/videos
Listen to us on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2R1BRcriKWcvOU1XMJQhyW
Listen to us on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/will-luke-discuss/id1572512365
Listen to us on Google Podcasts: https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy81Zjk2YTNmYy9wb2RjYXN0L3Jzcw==
Also available on: Anchor, Breaker, Pocket Casts, Radio Public.
This episode we discuss body-language expert, Mark Bowden's book, Winning Body Language. It ties in nicely with the last episode on Non-Violent Communication, which is largely based on speech. However, Bowden states that 93% of communication is non-verbal. Thus, we discuss how body language expresses our internal state, and how to use body language techniques, while remaining congruent. We explore posture, the various 'body planes', creating conditions of understanding and safety, our different tension states, ways to inject a 'story' into our message, asking for things and how to support others to feel safe and understood. Overall we look at how our body and voice can be utilised to convey the precise meaning we want. We really enjoyed this one and covered a fair bit of ground.
Hope you enjoy.
Will & Luke
- 00:00 Introductions
- 4:55 How messages come across during communication (93% - is non verbal) 8:00 Body plains (creating an open body language) (truth plane)
- 11:45 Body positioning
- 15:00 We are naturally geared to the negative
- 19:09 How we present the information and create the conditions (passion plane)
- 23:50 Talking on an in-breath
- 28:10 Facial expressions (and the indeterminate smile, head tilt, eye brow raise) (YES state)
- 34:00 Communication in conflict/disagreeance
- 38:30 Incongruent body language (when this is forced)
- 43:30 Different tension states (no tension, relaxed, neutral, deliberate, alert, agitated, entranced, total tension)
- 48:40 Luke's reflections
- 50:55 Injecting 'story' into communication (truth plane - passion plane - truth plane)
- 56:20 Supporting others to feel safe in communication when in their (space) (Boundaries - Conveying I'm here to give)
- 1:03:00 'Strokes' to support others to feel safe and handshakes
- 1:05:48 Final reflections (link to transactional analysis)
TED talk by Mark Bowden: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1zpf8H_Dd40
Purchase the book at : https://truthplane.com/
This specific episode can also be seen on: https://youtu.be/eBM-HbHwoow
Check our Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1Y_SKLFpax13442jA3giaw/videos
Listen to us on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2R1BRcriKWcvOU1XMJQhyW
Listen to us on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/will-luke-discuss/id1572512365
Listen to us on Google Podcasts: https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy81Zjk2YTNmYy9wb2RjYXN0L3Jzcw==
Also available on: Anchor, Breaker, Pocket Casts, Radio Public.
This episode we cover one of Luke's favourite concepts around communication, Marshall Rosenberg's 'Non-Violent Communication'. We discuss the ideas of communicating with other's from a place of 'feelings' and 'needs' as a way of connecting with others, based on the principle that our feelings are indications of met (or unmet) needs and that the best communication is when we are voluntarily contributing to others' well being. This is opposed to language which moves us away from people such as labelling or casting judgement. We discuss ways to better communicate in conflict and when making requests. Also how to express empathy and really being able to connect deeper with other people when we converse with them. We also discuss developing language of gratitude in particular to giving specific feedback to others. Plenty covered in this one and lots of takeaways.
Hope you enjoy
Will & Luke
- 00:00 Introductions and key concepts
- 4:45 About Marshall Rosenberg
- 8:20 Connecting with other people's feelings and needs during communication
- 9:40 Language to move away from the other (jackal language) (casting judgement, labelling)
- 14:40 Non 'violent' communication
- 18:00 Yes-saying jackals
- 23:15 Choice and it's relationship to communication (Denying responsibility)
- 25:35 Communication in conflict (noticing when we are responding to inner sense of anger, guilt, depression and shame - distortion of needs) (Concrete observation without judgement, feeling, need and request - not demand) (Speaking in giraffe)
- 34:15 Requests and saying no. Also finding our own language
- 40:55 Communicating with empathy (being present. not giving advice and not saying you understand)
- 46:32 Examples of a conflict we've had and seeing it through a Non-Violent communication framework
- 1:02:15 Use of communication to celebrate life and express gratitude (not just for conflict resolution)
- 1:07:40 Non-verbal communication
- 1:09:45 Final reflections
Purchase the book at: https://www.nonviolentcommunication.com/
This specific episode can also be seen on: https://youtu.be/i7H8Tq7PV7E
Check our Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1Y_SKLFpax13442jA3giaw/videos
Listen to us on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2R1BRcriKWcvOU1XMJQhyW
Listen to us on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/will-luke-discuss/id1572512365
Listen to us on Google Podcasts: https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy81Zjk2YTNmYy9wb2RjYXN0L3Jzcw==
Also available on: Anchor, Breaker, Pocket Casts, Radio Public.
In this final part of our trio on productivity and lifestyle design, we discuss David Allen's productivity system, 'Getting Things Done' (GTD), a fresh way to look at all the 'things', 'tasks' and 'stuff' in one's life. GTD helps you feel safe that whatever you are doing is what you want to be doing, and feel ok with the things that you're not. It takes the responsibility of remembering away from your brain, to allow it room to do what it's good at -- creativity, planning and learning. Key values are: creating psychological space; encouraging engagement in life; and helping us not feel like we need to be anywhere else other than with the task at hand, leading to a sense of flow and confidence. It's very much a bottom up approach: Start with your 'stuff' and clear your head. Sound a bit confusing? I think we make sense of it.
Hope you enjoy
Will & Luke
- 00:00 Introductions
- 03:50 Luke's journey with 'Getting Things Done'. Creating an overview.
- 5:00 Closing of open loops. External storing system.
- 9:40 The inventory process and the 'inbox'
- 12:30 The 5 steps to mastering workflow (Capture what has our attention, Clarify what each item means, Organise - which presents options, then Reflect/Choose and Engage)
- 16:20 Next action steps + projects
- 18:43 4 Criteria for deciding on next actions (time available, energy available. context and priority)
- 20:16 Capturing (never have the same thought twice)
- 22:44 2 minute rule, next action list, deferring, protecting your calendar and 'waiting for' list. Or does it end up in 'reference' or 'someday' or 'tickler file'.
- 43:20 Some simple take aways instead of whole system (prioritising and categorising)
- 46:21 How to do something productive when lazy vs allowing yourself to relax knowing your 'stuff is organised'. Effects of procrastination. 49:20 Productivity and the remembering self. Personal accountability. More able to confidently say no.
- 54:00 Agreements with yourself (3 ways: 1. Don't make the agreement, 2. Complete the agreement 3. re-negotiate the agreement)
- 57:10 Bottom up approach. Start with your stuff!
- 1:04:30 Comparisons with 'The 4 Hour Work Week' and how the mind works with undefined 'stuff' and current responsibilities.
- 1:13:45 Will's take aways into current system (Next actions list, floater tasks, weekly review, ground level 'stuff')
Purchase the book at: https://gettingthingsdone.com/
This specific episode can also be seen on: https://youtu.be/tJThvNwbsEQ
Check our Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1Y_SKLFpax13442jA3giaw/videos
Listen to us on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2R1BRcriKWcvOU1XMJQhyW
Listen to us on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/will-luke-discuss/id1572512365
Listen to us on Google Podcasts: https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy81Zjk2YTNmYy9wb2RjYXN0L3Jzcw==
Also available on: Anchor, Breaker, Pocket Casts, Radio Public.
This episode we jump around topics of lifestyle-design and job-crafting, primarily looking at how to achieve freedom and security through a personally crafted work/life balance. We ask what it means to build our lives around what we enjoy, asking questions such as 'What's the best use of our time and energy?' and 'How can we be productive yet not busy?'. We discuss using techniques such as remote working, elimination, selective ignorance, time management and the art of non-finishing -- a few things for us to consider as we get older and deeper into our careers.
Hope you enjoy.
Will & Luke
- 00:00 Introductions
- 02:50 Lifestyle design (and design within the work you do)
- 4:55 What you love being tied to income generation
- 9:00 Influence of being in new environments and cultures
- 12:00 Work leave and casual workforce
- 15:30 Mini-retirements
- 19:05 2nd 'homes'
- 20:40 Attitude towards moving places
- 23:50 Remote working (turning work into automation)
- 27:30 Work breaks and the choice to work
- 30:00 The Monday-Friday, 9-5 trap
- 31:00 Elimination - prioritising the things you want to do and not wasting times doing things that aren't important. Fewer interruptions and distractions. 80/20 principle.
- 35:02 Selective ignorance (appropriate use of mental energy, boundary setting)
- 40:50 The art of non-finishing 45:30 'Productive' not 'busy'
- 48:10 Time management and flexibility - Job crafting
Find the book: https://tim.blog/tim-ferriss-books/
This specific episode can also be seen on: https://youtu.be/AMfrEl-xtVg
Check our Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1Y_SKLFpax13442jA3giaw/videos
Listen to us on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2R1BRcriKWcvOU1XMJQhyW
Listen to us on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/will-luke-discuss/id1572512365
Listen to us on Google Podcasts: https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy81Zjk2YTNmYy9wb2RjYXN0L3Jzcw==
Also available on: Anchor, Breaker, Pocket Casts, Radio Public.
Think big and connect to your ultimate vision.
This episode we discuss Tony Robbins' 10-Day Time of Your Life program, which we both completed. This is a great way to face the reality of how we spend our time. We look at what Tony calls 'Categories of Improvement' and how to achieve our ultimate vision by clarifying our desired Outcome, curated Purpose and next Action steps. We also look at planning our day-to-day actions to align with our deepest values. Furthermore, we look into his 6-step decision-making process. This was a really interesting process which has helped us both clarify our overall vision whilst giving us a grasp on the day-to-day tasks involved in achieving it.
Hope you enjoy.
Will & Luke
- 00:00 Introductions
- 5:15 Time Targets - the ways in which we use our time. Dimensions of distraction, delusion, demand and 'the zone'
- 18:30 Categories of improvement (ultimate vision, purpose, resources, 3 to thrive and 90 day results) OUTCOME, PURPOSE and ACTIONS 29:35 Use of language in motivation
- 30:20: Ultimate Vision (personal mission statement)
- 32:20 Day to day planning (how tasks fit into weekly vision)
- 40:30 Tony Robbins style of work
- 43:55 Decision making (6 step process)
- 51:00 Choice points - keeping values in mind not responding to demand and making active choices 53:50 Final thoughts - raising consciousness and feeling inspired
Find the programme: https://store.tonyrobbins.com/products/the-time-of-your-life
This specific episode can also be seen on: https://youtu.be/UhoB89dl0s4
Check our Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1Y_SKLFpax13442jA3giaw/videos
Listen to us on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2R1BRcriKWcvOU1XMJQhyW
Listen to us on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/will-luke-discuss/id1572512365
Listen to us on Google Podcasts: https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy81Zjk2YTNmYy9wb2RjYXN0L3Jzcw==
Also available on: Anchor, Breaker, Pocket Casts, Radio Public.
In Sleep, Nick Littlehales spells out his r90 sleep program, which addresses the importance of good night's sleep. We unwrap advice from this elite sports sleep coach and talk about the 7 key recovery indicators of sleep, pre and post sleep routines, sleep chronotypes, naps and sleeping environment. Furthermore, we dig into the impacts of modern day culture, diet and work on sleep, and how to fight back against a culture that doesn't really facilitate recovery through sleep.
Hope you enjoy.
Will & Luke
- 00:00 Introductions
- 2:30 7 Key Recovery Sleep indicators (Circadian Rhythmns, Sleep Chronotype, Sleeping in Cycles -r90, pre+post sleep routines, position and comfort, sleeping environment).
- 3:00 Circadian Rhythms (PM'ers + AM'ers)
- 6:30 Sleep Chronotypes (set wake times)
- 9:15 r90 program (4 stages of sleep - Drifting off NREM, Light Sleep, Deep sleep + REM) and the importance of weekly cycles
- 14:15 Naps
- 18:00 Pre+Post sleep routines
- 24:00 Tech before bed
- 26:15 Shift work
- 28:30 Transition from home to work
- 35:20 Cultural impacts on Sleep
- 37:05 REM as a way of processing unresolved emotions
- 38:40 Sleep environment
- 44:45 Sleeping position
- 47:05 Final reflections
Purchase the book at: https://sportsleepcoach.com/
This specific episode can also be seen on: https://youtu.be/df-fKOEbp_c
Check our Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1Y_SKLFpax13442jA3giaw/videos
Listen to us on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2R1BRcriKWcvOU1XMJQhyW
Listen to us on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/will-luke-discuss/id1572512365
Listen to us on Google Podcasts: https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy81Zjk2YTNmYy9wb2RjYXN0L3Jzcw==
Also available on: Anchor, Breaker, Pocket Casts, Radio Public.
Flow. The nature of optimal experience. What is flow? How can we achieve this state? What are its conditions and components?
This episode we discuss how to transform daily experience into flow states by setting unified goals, becoming immersed in activities and paying close attention to our experience. We also talk about the environment and cultural impacts on flow alongside how we can structure our leisure time and work life in order to facilitate more immersive and enjoyable states that our experiencing self and remembering self will be happy with. How can we lose ourselves in order to grow? How do our wider goals impact our experience of flow? A lot of questions answered and topics explored. Really enjoyed recording this one.
Hope you enjoy.
Will & Luke
- 00:15 Introductions
- 04:05 What is Flow?
- 06:15 The 8 Components of Flow (What we are doing is achievable, takes full concentration, goal itself is clear with immediate feedback, deep effortless involvement, you've got control of your own actions, sense of self disappears, sense of time alters)
- 09:45 4 Main Conditions of flow (Structured activity, sense of discovery, challenge that involves a skill, created by the self)
- 14:45 Experiences of flow
- 28:10 The autotelic self (Self that has self contained goals) (1. Setting unified goals 2. Becoming immersed in activities 3. Paying close attention to experience) How this all transfers experience into flow.
- 32:47 What we do in our leisure time and cultural influences
- 48:00 Choice of environment and affect on flow. (Reflection and action)
- 51:35 Enjoying the immediate experience (problems with constantly doing things for the future, experiencing self vs remembering self)
- 52:45 Lifestyle design for inner states
- 1:01:15 Final reflections after the video finished (Being lost in expectations and external responsibilities) (Doing things for ourselves, how thing changes with age) (Frontal cortex development makes it harder to be in the moment) (Impacts of work and technology)
This specific episode can also be seen on: https://youtu.be/mdjm5pBMcKc
Check our Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1Y_SKLFpax13442jA3giaw/videos
Listen to us on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2R1BRcriKWcvOU1XMJQhyW
Listen to us on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/will-luke-discuss/id1572512365
Listen to us on Google Podcasts: https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy81Zjk2YTNmYy9wb2RjYXN0L3Jzcw==
Also available on: Anchor, Breaker, Pocket Casts, Radio Public.
This episode's on one of our favourite authors and thinkers, Sam Harris' book 'Waking Up'.
This is a unique and pertinent piece of writing for us both in understanding meditation and mindfulness on a deeper level. We go beyond the commonly taught dualistic mindfulness techniques into more self-transcendent practices (non-dualistic). We discuss the the helpful and suggested ways of relating to suffering, our thoughts, and the nature of consciousness. Topics covered include the sense of self being an illusion, being lost in thought, and theory of mind. This one tested our ability to articulate a personal and experiential practice that we are both seeking to deepen.
Hope you enjoy.
Will & Luke
- 00:15 Introductions
- 4:25 The feeling of 'I' as an illusion and sources of psychological suffering
- 5:45 Religious perspectives (Eastern spiritual practices)
- 10:45 Vipassna (dualistic) vs Dzogchen (non-dualistic)
- 15:05 Psychological continuity - concept of self
- 19:45 Consciousness is all we have - 'Theory of Mind'
- 21:15 Being lost in thought (and decision making)
- 26:00 Embracing the contents of consciousness (relax, accepting things as they are as we strive to change ourselves)
- 30:30 Glimpses
- 33:45 'Having no Head'
- 40:15 Loss of self and separateness of self
- 50:25 Waking Up app and current practices
- 1:02:00 Impacts of meditation for us
- 1:09:45 Conclusions
Purchase the book at: https://samharris.org/books/
This specific episode can also be seen on: https://youtu.be/juOcP8Mv5eo
Check our Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1Y_SKLFpax13442jA3giaw/videos
Listen to us on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2R1BRcriKWcvOU1XMJQhyW
Listen to us on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/will-luke-discuss/id1572512365
Listen to us on Google Podcasts: https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy81Zjk2YTNmYy9wb2RjYXN0L3Jzcw==
Also available on: Anchor, Breaker, Pocket Casts, Radio Public.
This episode we talk about one of the first self-help books to come out of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, a psychotherapy that aims to help us live a more meaningful life, by accepting discomfort and moving towards more valued action. We dive into ways in which we can learn to accept our internal experiences, and how having a strong set of internal values can guide us to take actions by which both our experiencing-self and remembering-self can be satisfied. Alongside the benefits of mindfulness techniques, we also touch on aspects around indecision, procrastination and 'cognitive fusion'.
Hope you enjoy.
Will & Luke
- 00:15 Introductions
- 4:15 'The Happiness Trap' and The 4 Myths (1. Happiness is a natural human state, 2. If you're not happy you're defective, 3. To create a better life we must get rid of negative feelings, 4. You should be able to control what you think and feel)
- 8:15 Principles of ACT (Defusion, Expansion, Connection, The observing self, values and Committed action)
- 9:15 Cognitive Fusion, Defusion and Acceptance self talk
- 18:45 Urge surfing
- 21:45 Is this thought helpful or not?
- 24:15 Naming our feelings and expansion
- 27:55 Fight or Flight response vs Internal 'mental' threats (the meanings we attach - clean pain vs dirty pain)
- 34:30 The Observing Self - identify with the witness of the feelings
- 42:15 Impacts of technology
- 44:30 Indecision (assessing own values, wants and needs vs listening to feelings)
- 50:35 Excuses and procrastination
- 52:15 Values and choice points (re-attuning our why to guide action)
- 1:00:35 Final reflections (Experiencing self vs remembering self)
Purchase the book at: https://thehappinesstrap.com/
This specific episode can also be seen on: https://youtu.be/UKiVTY2JT20
Check our Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1Y_SKLFpax13442jA3giaw/videos
Listen to us on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2R1BRcriKWcvOU1XMJQhyW
Listen to us on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/will-luke-discuss/id1572512365
Listen to us on Google Podcasts: https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy81Zjk2YTNmYy9wb2RjYXN0L3Jzcw==
Also available on: Anchor, Breaker, Pocket Casts, Radio Public.
This episode, we spoke about how we can respond to our inner conflicts and negotiate the fundamental internal drives. We talk about ways to manage our 'chimp self' and the impact of self-talk. We expand on how finding a balance between our 'logical' brain and 'chimp' brain can affect our interactions, relationships, confidence and how we react in times of disappointment. We finish with how we can be more compassionate and nurturing to ourselves and our unmet needs. We tie in aspects of habits, attachment theory and the physiology of the brain, from previous episodes.
This episode is the origin of the ongoing battle that Will faces with slow walkers and Luke has with his late night pizza cravings.
Hope you enjoy.
Will & Luke
- 00:15 Introductions (Chimp self vs Human self)
- 03:45 Our chimp urges and natural drives (Input go through the 'chimp')
- 09:15 Our 'computer' (pre-programmed reactions and how we cope with inner conflict)
- 14:15 Replacing gremlins (old destructive reactions) with autopilots (more helpful beliefs and statements). Future programming - 'change'.
- 20:30 Choice points (internal assumptions 'goblins' and behaviours)
- 25:15 Goal setting (target goals vs maintenance goals)
- 37:15 Personality and interactions with others (ingrained behaviours that are predictable)
- 40:35 Inner self talk
- 42:35 Chimp self and Human self's view of self (self-judgment vs compassionate response vs logical response)
- 47:35 'Feeding the chimp a banana' - Luke's pizza craving
- 53:40 Managing the chimp (boxing the chimp - telling it a truth it will accept) (Exercising the chimp by venting - space to get it off our chest) 58:25 Finding your troop (specifically choosing people around you to provide feedback)
- 1:03:10 Relationships (what we do accept vs what we don't) Gut instinct vs Logic. Listen to unmet needs.
- 1:15:15 Confidence (Chimps inability to deal with failure). Confidence from giving things ago and accepting flaws
- 1:20:00 The way we respond to ourselves
- 1:22:00 Final reflections
Purchase the book at: https://chimpmanagement.com/books-by-professor-steve-peters/the-chimp-paradox/
This specific episode can also be seen on: https://youtu.be/DJVTubXru18
Check our Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1Y_SKLFpax13442jA3giaw/videos
Listen to us on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2R1BRcriKWcvOU1XMJQhyW
Listen to us on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/will-luke-discuss/id1572512365
Listen to us on Google Podcasts: https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy81Zjk2YTNmYy9wb2RjYXN0L3Jzcw==
Also available on: Anchor, Breaker, Pocket Casts, Radio Public.
What is confidence? How is it developed?
This week we look at The School of Life's short book 'On Confidence'. We explore the key ideas of confidence, actions and skills we can develop, and how befriending our inner idiot helps us understand our own and others' flaws. We unpack the historical conceptions of confidence and the developmental stages we go through. We finish with how a stoic conceptualisation of death can bring about more confidence to live fully and less critically in order to sooth our remembering self.
Hope you enjoy.
Will & Luke
- 00:15 Introductions
- 07:00 What is confidence? (Trust of others- Secrets - Trust of self) (An action, will and skill)
- 08:45 Trusting your own decisions
- 10:15 Others opinions and criticism. (Fritz Pearls poem. Internal drive to look good) (We only see ourselves from the inside and others from the outside)
- 14:45 Befriending the inner idiot (Accepting flaws - our own and others)
- 22:00 Not taking life to seriously vs self deprecation (People want connection not 'success')
- 28:00 Putting yourself out there - confidence as a decision
- 33:55 Attachment and integrating an internal secure base
- 37:00 Resilience as a key part of confidence (how we replay old stories)
- 42:15 Asserting ones self - choosing confidence (it's not brutishness) (Being too attached to modesty)
- 43:35 Confidence in confidence
- 45:55 Difference between requests and demands & How we look up to others (developmental stages)
- 49:10 Death and confidence
- 57:00 Final thoughts
Purchase the book at: https://www.theschooloflife.com/london/
This specific episode can also be seen on: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DJVTubXru18
Check our Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1Y_SKLFpax13442jA3giaw/videos
Listen to us on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2R1BRcriKWcvOU1XMJQhyW
Listen to us on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/will-luke-discuss/id1572512365
Listen to us on Google Podcasts: https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy81Zjk2YTNmYy9wb2RjYXN0L3Jzcw==
Also available on: Anchor, Breaker, Pocket Casts, Radio Public.
Here, we start a two-part podcast on Luke's favourite book of recent years. We cover a multitude of areas in the realm of self-esteem: what self esteem is, how it looks, how it can be solidified through habits, and how it affects our interactions. This episode, we cover the first three pillars: the practice of living consciously; the practice of self acceptance; and the practice of self responsibility.
Be sure to check out part 2 as well!
Hope you enjoy.
Will & Luke
- 00:15 Introductions
- 6:00 How the book is split up
- 7:00 What is Self Esteem? (Self-efficacy and self-respect)
- 11:10 Benefits of positive self esteem (allows us to go for big goals, better communicator in regards to needs, we can live better cause we respond better) and negative of low self-esteem
- 14:15 Self Esteem as a habit (small incremental improvements)
- 15:15 How someone may carry themselves with positive self esteem (ease, spontaneity, flexible, not a war with themselves, can handle change, free from anxiety, good eye contact, clear)
- 19:00 People with low self esteem's experience
- 21:15 Pseudo self esteem
- 30:15 Acting on drive and desire, our actualising tendency and expressing tendency.
- 35:45 Action based
- 37:45 Pillar 1: The practice of living consciously (responsible towards reality and not our feelings - emotional reasoning) (Not avoiding reality and continual evaluation of reactions and purpose)
- 56:00 Pillar 2: The practice of self acceptance (1. To be on my own side with and orientation of self value, 2. A willingness to experience thoughts feelings and actions, 3. Compassion to self (Experiencing self vs remembering self) (Accepting the disowned parts of self)
- 1:20:05 Pillar 3: The practice of self responsibility (Sense of control over our existence) (Accepting control of actions, life and well-being)
- 1:39:15 Wrap-up of these internal practices/orientations/dispositions
Purchase the book at: http://www.nathanielbranden.com/
This specific episode can also be seen on: https://youtu.be/S-rkzz_4BNI
Check our Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1Y_SKLFpax13442jA3giaw/videos
Listen to us on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2R1BRcriKWcvOU1XMJQhyW
Listen to us on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/will-luke-discuss/id1572512365
Listen to us on Google Podcasts: https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy81Zjk2YTNmYy9wb2RjYXN0L3Jzcw==
Also available on: Anchor, Breaker, Pocket Casts, Radio Public.
In this second part of our discussion on The 6 Pillars of Self-Esteem we take a deep dive into the final three pillars: the practice of self assertiveness, the practice of living purposefully and the practice of personal integrity. We also discuss external factors on self-esteem.
Hope you enjoy.
Will & Luke
- 00:15 Introductions
- 01:05 Pillar 4: The Practice of Self assertiveness (Honour wants, needs and values whilst seeking appropriate forms of their expression). How this leads to individuation and the building of relationships
- 17:25 Pillar 5: The Practice of Living Purposefully (1. Taking responsibility for formulating ones goals and purpose consciously - what's worth doing, 2. Being concerned to identify the actions needed to achieve ones goals, 3. Monitoring behaviour to check that it is in align with ones goals, 4. Paying attention to ones actions to know where they are leading and where one wants to go)
- 25: 45 Pillar 6: The Practice of Personal Integrity - the integration of chosen ideals, convictions, standards, values, beliefs and behaviour
- 40:15 Reflections on Pillars 4,5,6. Accountability in all situations. Bringing values in consciousness.
- 48:39 The philosophy of self esteem according to Nathaniel Brandon. Core beliefs.
- 52:15 External factors of self esteem (Childhood & Parenting - Attachment Theory)
- 1:07:45 Reflections on work
- 1:17:15 We act in accordance with values regardless of consciously or unconsciously
- 1:18:15 Self esteem and psychotherapy
- 1:25:15 Survival strategies and the recovery model
- 1:28:30 Integrating sub-personalities (transactional analysis)
- 1:33:45 Self esteem and cultural impacts
- 1:44:17 The '7th Pillar' willingness to live by principles when things aren't going well. Willingness to confront and like yourself.
- 1:51:20 Conclusions
Purchase the book at: http://www.nathanielbranden.com/
This specific episode can also be seen on: https://youtu.be/AeIslnfgRjM
Check our Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1Y_SKLFpax13442jA3giaw/videos
Listen to us on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2R1BRcriKWcvOU1XMJQhyW
Listen to us on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/will-luke-discuss/id1572512365
Listen to us on Google Podcasts: https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy81Zjk2YTNmYy9wb2RjYXN0L3Jzcw==
Also available on: Anchor, Breaker, Pocket Casts, Radio Public.
Fixed mindset or Growth mindset? What is a mindset?
This episode, we look at the two mindsets that Carol Dweck describes. Though we aren't one or the other in every situation, it's interesting to consider where we might hold a little lighter our perceptions of our own intelligence, ability and skill. We discuss how our language and inner narratives effects our mindset; how mindset impacts our relationships, work lives and interactions; and how our upbringing effects our conditions of worth, and how this impacts us during challenges and rejections. Finally, we discuss ways to change our mindsets through embracing them, understanding our triggers, and seeking feedback to inform more daring decisions.
Hope you enjoy.
Will & Luke.
- 00:00 Introduction
- 1:45 How are mindsets affect our view on our intelligence, abilities and skill (Fixed Mindset + Growth Mindset)
- 5:30 The language we use and stories we tell ourselves in Fixed or Growth mindsets
- 9:00 How each mindset relates to failure
- 13:00 What is a Mindset? (unconscious beliefs)
- 17:40 Relationships (Romance, Issues, Friendships)
- 24:45 Shyness, Forgiveness and Rejection (Growth mindset as a cure for fixed mindset anxiety)
- 37:45 Jealousy (based on perception of where we are at) (Social media impact)
- 46:45 How to change mindset through sharing more of ourselves (work examples) (Understanding triggers)
- 55:00 Realistically analysing how long tasks will take (Process vs Outcome)
- 58:25 4 step journey to Change your mindset. Embracing current mindset, understanding your triggers, name it - specific circumstance, educate your mindset - feedback, choosing difficult tasks.
- 1:02:00 Conditions of worth and inner narrative during challenge
- 1:10:50 Self perception and ability to judge our abilities (easier during growth mindset)
- 1:14:00 Sharing creative endeavours (when we've staked our identity in them)
- 1:17:00 Receiving feedback (listen to specifics)
- 1:21:30 Final reflections
Purchase the book at: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/44330/mindset-by-carol-s-dweck-phd/
This specific episode can also be seen on: https://youtu.be/Dl-e1XLtWLY
Check our Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1Y_SKLFpax13442jA3giaw/videos
Listen to us on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2R1BRcriKWcvOU1XMJQhyW
Listen to us on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/will-luke-discuss/id1572512365
Listen to us on Google Podcasts: https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy81Zjk2YTNmYy9wb2RjYXN0L3Jzcw==
Also available on: Anchor, Breaker, Pocket Casts, Radio Public.
Habits, Motivation, Action!
This episode we chat about our favourite ideas from Will's number one book of 2019. Based on the idea that small incremental daily changes lead to big results, we unpack the four aspects of building good habits (making them obvious, attractive, easy and satisfying) and how to recover from bad ones (making them difficult, invisible, unattractive and unsatisfying). We cover concepts of habit stacking, reframing our associations, establishing habits before improving upon them, anticipation versus rewards, how to bring the unconscious into the conscious through pointing and calling, and how to measure and maintain our habits.
Hope you enjoy.
Will & Luke
- 00:00 Introductions
- 01:05 What is a habit? Cue, Craving, Response, Reward
- 07:05 Habits as Identity (In the context of once of decisions)
- 15:10 Reframing association
- 17:50 Utilizing habits - Cue
- 19:00 Luke's morning routine (Obvious, attractive, easy, satisfying)
- 22:35 Establish before improving
- 26:25 Reducing the friction
- 30:00 Showing up
- 31:00 Habit stacking (pro's + cons)
- 36:55 How to recovery when habits break down (all or nothing)
- 42:20 Anticipation of rewards/goals (valuing the process)
- 49:00 Minimizing bad habits (Will and phone use - make it difficult, invisible, unattractive, unsatisfying)
- 59:45 Don't miss twice and negative spirals
- 1:03:00 Bad habits as a cue (Behaviors that are rewarded immediately is repeated, punished immediately is avoided)
- 1:04:45 Pointing and calling (Bringing the unconscious into consciousness)
- 1:09:00 Measuring your habits and behaviors - Habit tracking
- 1:12:50 How to re-inforce habits throughout the day
- 1:15:40 Reviewing habits and maintenance of habits
- 1:19:15 Final reflections
Buy the book at: https://jamesclear.com/
This specific episode can also be seen on: https://youtu.be/AEh9G0mTR7U
Check our Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1Y_SKLFpax13442jA3giaw/videos
Listen to us on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2R1BRcriKWcvOU1XMJQhyW
Listen to us on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/will-luke-discuss/id1572512365
Listen to us on Google Podcasts: https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy81Zjk2YTNmYy9wb2RjYXN0L3Jzcw==
Also available on: Anchor, Breaker, Pocket Casts, Radio Public.
We explore neuroscientist and philosopher Sam Harris's short book on Lying.
Watching back over this, it's certainly one of our favourites. It's a nice one to jump back to and remind ourselves to be as truthful as possible -- both to ourselves and in our relationships -- and to take every opportunity to strengthen that muscle of telling the truth.
We discuss: Harris's definitions of lying, deception, and lies of omission and commission; how lying affects the view we have of ourselves, our desires, and reality; the impacts lying has on our relationships, with suggestions on how we can change our language to be more compassionate and not recoil from intimacy; what it means to have an internal vs external locus of evaluation; and the impact technology has on our relationships.
Hope you enjoy.
Will & Luke
- 00:15 Introduction
- 02:15 Thoughts on impact of book
- 05:15 Use of tact
- 06:15 Providing feedback and receiving praise
- 10:45 How Sam defines Lying, Deception, Omission & Commission
- 16:15 White Lies
- 22:45 How Lying affects relationships (Grant relationships the depth they deserve)
- 29:00 Truthfulness to ourselves (values and desires)
- 32:00 Example of how lying weakens our truth muscle (and how to strengthen through language)
- 42:05 When we lie to others, we trust them less
- 45:00 Truth as the antidote to suffering. Saying what we know to be true, stop saying things we know not to be. (Paying attention to our internal reaction)
- 52:45 How we read others in response to our words/reactions
- 54:25 Impact of technology on our ability to read each other
- 56:15 Integrity, Honesty and Congruency
- 1:06:25 Locus of evaluation (internal vs external)
- 1:12:30 Final reflections (truth being a mirror to our wants, how this effects our view of self and our relationships) + (Not compassionate to distorting others reality and your own)
This specific episode can also be seen on: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7C-o0BpA6r0
Check our Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1Y_SKLFpax13442jA3giaw/videos
Listen to us on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2R1BRcriKWcvOU1XMJQhyW
Listen to us on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/will-luke-discuss/id1572512365
Listen to us on Google Podcasts: https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy81Zjk2YTNmYy9wb2RjYXN0L3Jzcw==
Also available on: Anchor, Breaker, Pocket Casts, Radio Public.
Got to put this one up there as one of our favourites, a seminal book that really caught our eye. We dig into the stand out chapters on Discipline and Love. In Discipline, we discuss concepts around delaying gratification for the betterment of our future, the importance of taking responsibility, and facing life head on with a dedication to the truth. Plus, how we can balance these concepts in our life when looking to instigate change and personal growth. In Love, we unpack Peck's definition of love as a dedication to another's spiritual growth, whilst giving some time to the outline the risks we must confront in love. Themes of visualisation and adopting a language of responsibility pop up too.
Hope you enjoy.
Will & Luke
- 00:15 Introductions
- 6:15 What this book is about - overview & themes
- 7:15 Discipline (Delaying gratification, taking responsibility, dedication to the truth & balancing)
- 17:35 Taking responsibility vs Avoidance/Deflecting/Procrastinating
- 22:45 Language around responsibility
- 24:15 Instigators for change and 'deaths'
- 32:00 Growth defined (courage and intentions for growth)
- 36:10 Visualization (imagery)
- 39:05 Acceptance and allowing
- 41:25 Intention setting and attitude adjustment
- 46:45 Dedication to truth and the challenge of confronting old schemas
- 52:45 Love - defined by S.Peck (risk of independence, risk of commitment, love as separateness, love as discipline & being dedicated to another's spiritual growth)
- 59:30 Self serving in love and jealousy. How to counteract this.
- 1:03:00 Well-being dependent on others & ego boundaries in love (Love as separateness)
- 1:06:30 Risk of commitment (the risk of self confrontation and change)
- 1:17:25 Attitudes, words and behaviours in aid of spiritual growth
- 1:19:35 Love as discipline (balance between order and chaos within relationships)
- 1:23:15 Growth and grace section overview (Entropy and laziness)
- 1:30:15 Final thoughts
Where to buy the book: https://www.penguin.com.au/books/the-road-less-travelled-9781846041075
This specific episode can also be seen on: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_zjubnfe974
Check our Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1Y_SKLFpax13442jA3giaw/videos
Listen to us on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2R1BRcriKWcvOU1XMJQhyW
Listen to us on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/will-luke-discuss/id1572512365
Listen to us on Google Podcasts: https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy81Zjk2YTNmYy9wb2RjYXN0L3Jzcw==
Also available on: Anchor, Breaker, Pocket Casts, Radio Public.
This episode we spoke about Young & Klosko's book 'Re-inventing Your Life'. We looked past the cringe-worthy title and took a deep dive into the schemas that affect our world-view and behaviours. We dissected each of the 11 'Life Traps' that emerge out of our most basic (unmet) needs. We unpack where these come from, how they persist, how to cope, and what we can do to challenge them and bring about new ways of living and relating.
Hope you enjoy.
Will & Luke
- 00:15 Introductions
- 03:45 Schemas, Schema Therapy and CBT
- 07:15 Life traps defined
- 09:30 Why we repeat our life traps (Maladaptive systems of behaviour)
- 12:15 Overview of the book
- 16:45 The abandonment life trap (under Basic Safety)
- 20:35 Mistrust and Abuse life trap (under Basic Safety)
- 26:35 Dependence life trap (under Autonomy and Functioning independently)
- 31:05 Vulnerability life trap (under Autonomy and Functioning independently)
- 34:35 Emotional deprivation life trap (under Strength and Connection to others)
- 45:08 Social exclusion life trap (under Strength and Connection to others)
- 50:15 Defectiveness life trap (under Self esteem)
- 56:25 Failure life trap (under Self esteem)
- 1:03:25 Subjugation life trap (under Expression)
- 1:15:43 Unrelenting standards life trap (under Expression)
- 1:21:20 Entitlement life trap (under Accepting realistic limits)
- 1:29:37 Coping Styles (Surrender, Escape and Counter attack)
- 1:34:55 How to address life traps and the 8 ways to do so.
- 1:53:00 Obstacles to change
- 2:06:30 Final thoughts
Where to buy the book: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/327709/reinventing-your-life-by-jeffrey-e-young/
This specific episode can also be seen on: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ym5UpqdwTMI
Check our Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1Y_SKLFpax13442jA3giaw/videos
Listen to us on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2R1BRcriKWcvOU1XMJQhyW
Listen to us on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/will-luke-discuss/id1572512365
Listen to us on Google Podcasts:https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy81Zjk2YTNmYy9wb2RjYXN0L3Jzcw==
Also available on: Anchor, Breaker, Pocket Casts, Radio Public.
This was our first podcast - great to get the ball rolling on a shared interest after 28 years of friendship.
We talked about the three attachment styles -- Anxious, Secure and Avoidant -- where these come from, how they play out in romantic relationships, how people can bring greater awareness to their own style, and how to better communicate one's needs. We looked at protest behaviours exhibited by the anxious among us and the de-activating strategies of the avoidants. We also discussed the anxious-avoidant trap, compatibility vs chemistry, and the impact of technology on each of the attachment styles.
Hope you enjoy.
Will & Luke
- 0:15 Introductions and the anxious attachment style
- 03:45 How the anxious attachment style develops
- 07:05 Book overview
- 08:55 Summary of secure attachment style
- 17:05 Summary of avoidant attachment style
- 22:25 Origins of attachment systems in human romance, relationships and dependence
- 32:15 Intimacy triggering the threat system in avoidant styles
- 33:23 Object relations theory (Need for Independence and Connection)
- 36:05 Deactivating strategies in avoidant styles ('The Phantom- Ex' and 'The One')
- 41:15 'Push & Pull' relationships
- 43:30 Anxious-Avoidant trap
- 47:00 When avoidant styles let their guard down (earned security) and development of defenses
- 52:15 Non-Violent Communication and communication of needs in relationships
- 1:11:15 Why do avoidant people find secure people such a challenge? And how a relationship like this could work? And the effect of chemistry.
- 1:24:00 Long term monogamy as the norm implied?
- 1:26:00 Impact of technology and travel on the 3 attachment styles
- 1:31:00 Deciphering between being anxious/avoidant or just incompatible?
- 1:39:55 The importance of having people to mirror back your attachment patterns
- 1:50:00 Summary of styles and strategies
- 1:53:15 Final thoughts on how attachment plays out. (Avoidant = Dismissing. Anxious - Preoccupied)
Get the book: https://www.attachedthebook.com/wordpress/
This specific episode can also be seen on: https://youtu.be/oUcxz9ZB8UA
Check our Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1Y_SKLFpax13442jA3giaw/videos
Listen to us on Spotify:https://open.spotify.com/show/2R1BRcriKWcvOU1XMJQhyW
Listen to us on Apple Podcasts:https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/will-luke-discuss/id1572512365
Listen to us on Google Podcast:https://www.google.com/podcastsfeed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy81Zjk2YTNmYy9wb2RjYXN0L3Jzcw==
Also available on: Anchor, Breaker, Pocket Casts, Radio Public.