The Confident Man Podcast: Recent Episodes
David Maxwell
Giving men the confidence they need to navigate the overwhelm of life. Pressure comes from all around us as men. We want to be good men, good husbands, and good dads. We also want to live a life of purpose and not just survive. The Confident Man Podcast seeks to empower you so you can live a strong confident life in all you do!
Raise Confident Kids: 3 Keys to Set Boundaries (Dads, This Is Your Guide!)Ever feel like your kids are running the show? Seen a child throwing a full-blown tantrum in public, controlling the whole situation? Too often, this happens when a child has no boundaries in their life. But here's the truth: kids thrive with boundaries, and without them, they simply can't develop to their full potential.
Dads, if you want to raise confident kids who know the difference between right and wrong, who understand reality, and who are set up for a successful, thriving life, then you have to intentionally implement and hold healthy boundaries with your children.
In this video, I'm sharing the three essential keys to setting boundaries that will help you move from chaos to a family life that is truly thriving!
In This Episode, You'll Learn:I'm your host, David Maxwell from Thriving Man.com, and I'm here to help you Conquer Your Everyday Chaos and Build a Thriving Life. Our passion is empowering you as a man to be the secure, conviction-driven leader your family needs. This is a critical episode in our series on Boundaries.
We'll dive into the three powerful keys you need to implement boundaries with children so they can flourish:
Lead with Security: Discover why your own security and convictions as a man are the foundation for setting effective boundaries. If you’re not secure in what you believe, how can you guide your kids? We tackle the lies that society tells modern dads and show you how to pass down the stability your kids desperately need.
Focus on Development, Not Just Survival: Life is busy, but we can't just aim to make it through the day. Learn to fight the overwhelm and make regular, focused investments into your children. Your job is to develop your children—to hold them to standards, speak truth, and be the main mentor in their lives. Busyness doesn't equal development!
Permeate Boundaries with Grace: Grace isn't giving in—it's unmerited favor. We'll explore how to balance the necessity of structure and obedience with forgiveness, reconciliation, and honest love. Learn how to be firm without being a drill sergeant, making sure that your focus is on your child's growth and not just rigid compliance. A dad’s encouraging words can speak untold life into his children!
🔑 Set Boundaries, Watch Them FlourishBring these healthy boundaries to your children and you will see them flourish. It’s worth the fight, Dad.
🔥 Hit one of these: Subscribe - Like - Share if you're ready to raise confident kids and build a thriving family!
Resources and Next Steps: More help and resources to conquer chaos and build a thriving life at: www.ThrivingMan.com * Ready to get serious about your own growth? Check out my course: Dads Secrets to Success at Thriving Man*
Setting clear boundaries in dating and marriage is crucial for a healthy and fulfilling relationship. In this episode, we'll explore key principles for establishing and maintaining effective boundaries with your partner.
We'll start with the idea that setting boundaries is a collaborative effort, like a dance where one person leads and the other follows. It's about leading your partner, but also ensuring they're an active participant in the process. We'll also emphasize the importance of setting boundaries early in the relationship, long before things start to spiral. It's much easier to stop a snowball from rolling than to halt an avalanche.
This is not a one-time conversation. We'll discuss the importance of making it an ongoing process by checking in with each other at set intervals. This allows you to course-correct when a boundary has been crossed and to see things from your partner's perspective. Most importantly, we'll talk about creating a safe space for open communication where you can truly listen to each other and discuss any challenges that arise.
Join us to learn how to create a solid foundation for a lasting relationship by mastering the art of setting boundaries in dating and marriage. Don't forget to like, share, and subscribe for more dating and marriage tips and relationship advice!
Do you struggle to set boundaries with people? Do you ever feel like you're caught between making everyone happy and sacrificing your own needs? You're not alone. Many men struggle to set healthy boundaries because they don't want to hurt others or be perceived as "selfish." But what if we told you that authentic boundaries aren't personal?
In this video, we'll dive deep into why boundaries are crucial for a thriving life. We'll explore the difference between manipulative boundaries and authentic boundaries built on personal convictions. You’ll learn how to set boundaries without shame, taking responsibility for your own growth and overcoming weaknesses. This isn't about pushing people away; it's about empowering your life and building a foundation of strength.
By the end of this video, you'll understand why setting a boundary for your family night or deciding to use a basic phone isn't personal against others—it's about creating a life that works for you. Let's conquer the chaos and build a thriving life together.
Here are some of the key topics we'll cover:
- Why setting boundaries feels so personal
- The two mindsets that make boundaries difficult
- How to build authentic boundaries from your own convictions
- Why self-imposed boundaries carry no shame
- Simple steps you can take to start directing your life
Want to continue building a thriving life? Visit us at thrivingman.com for more resources and insights.
In this video, we're diving deep into the consequences of lacking boundaries. If you've ever felt drained, taken advantage of, or resentful in your relationships, this video is for you.
We'll explore how constantly giving too much can lead to deep-seated resentment and emotional exhaustion. When you're always taking on other people's burdens, you can lose sight of your own needs, leading to a profound loss of self. It's easy to get so wrapped up in living for everyone else that you forget who you are.
But here's the powerful truth: boundaries are better than battles. By establishing and defending your boundaries, you can prevent yourself from being taken advantage of and reaching a breaking point. We’ll discuss why it's okay for people to be disappointed and how setting firm boundaries can actually help control your anger, keeping you from becoming resentful or tyrannical.
Video Highlights: Resentment: The hidden cost of giving too much. * Exhaustion: How taking on other's burdens can drain you completely. * Loss of Self:* Reclaiming your identity when you feel lost.
Call to Action:Where in your life do you feel most drained or resentful? That feeling is a clear signal that a boundary is needed. Share your thoughts in the comments below!
For more resources to help you thrive to to www.thrivingman.com
3 Keys to Communicate BoundariesImagine having a secret skill that could transform your life, a skill like the heroes in Anime Ossan Newbie. A skill so powerful, yet it goes unused because it's a secret. That's what happens when you have boundaries but don't know how to communicate them. They're a secret skill that helps no one, especially not you.
At Thriving Man, our mission is to help you conquer your everyday chaos and build a thriving life. In this video, we'll talk about the three keys to communicating boundaries. These keys aren't just for conflict; they're for creating a successful life in every area.
Understand Your BoundariesThe first key is simple: you can’t communicate your boundaries if you don’t understand them yourself. In this video, we discuss how to know your "why" behind your boundaries, which helps you stay strong and hold to what is important.
- Have a "Why": Knowing your personal convictions behind a boundary isn’t about justifying it to others. It’s about building a strong foundation so you can communicate it with confidence.
Choose the Right MomentThe right moment is key when communicating boundaries. Don't wait until the middle of a fight to set a boundary. We’ll show you why it's better to set them early and manage them over time. We’ll also discuss how making up a boundary on the spot can hurt your credibility and relationships.
- Don't Use Boundaries to Manipulate: Boundaries are for clarity and protection, not for avoiding difficult situations or manipulating people. When you manipulate, you lose trust and damage relationships.
Stay ConsistentThis is the bedrock of communicating boundaries. If you tell one person something and act differently with another, you will confuse people and damage your reputation. Consistency is the key to all your relationships. We’ll discuss how to stay calm, own your boundaries, and not let other people’s reactions make you change them.
- Be Consistent, Be Trusted: People watch to see if you uphold your boundaries with everyone. Upholding your boundaries consistently shows others what you value and builds trust.
Remember, boundaries don't work unless you communicate them. In this video, you'll learn how to understand your boundaries, choose the right moment to share them, and stay consistent.
For more resources to help you build a thriving life, visit thrivingman.com.
Dive into the world of video games with a unique perspective! In this episode, we explore the beauty of simplicity and how it's the key to what we love about gaming. We’ll discuss how clear goals and well-defined boundaries in games like Skyrim and ATV Offroad 2 don't just make them fun, they also offer powerful lessons for real life.
Join us as we talk about setting your own "lane," establishing what truly matters, and how skill trees and ranks in games like Marvel Rivals can illustrate a clear path of progress. Learn to apply the principles of gaming to your own life by asking big questions, setting your own rules, and filtering out the noise. If you're looking for a fresh take on personal growth and finding clarity, you won't want to miss this.
For more help in developing a Thriving Life go to www.thrivingman.com
Are you tired of feeling like Eeyore, constantly getting hurt in your relationships? In this episode of Thriving Man, host David Maxwell reveals how a lack of personal boundaries can lead to resentment and frustration. This isn't about pushing people away; it's about creating space for healthy relationships and true connection.
We continue our series on boundaries by exploring their vital role in your three key relationships: yourself, your tribe, and others. Discover how setting clear communication and expectations in your family boundaries and work boundaries allows you to bring your best self to every situation, building trust and mutual respect.
Learn how to use boundaries as a powerful tool for achieving success in life and building the kind of deep, authentic connections you've always wanted. This show is your guide to taking control and building a thriving life free from chaos.
Navigating your life as a man can feel like a constant struggle. You're surviving, but you're not thriving. You know you're capable of more, but you feel stuck in a cycle of self-sabotage and bad habits. If you're a man who's ready to break free from the chaos, then you've come to the right place.
Welcome to the Thriving Man channel, where we believe that boundaries don't limit you—they liberate you.
On this show, we'll help you:
- Find the purpose of boundaries and use them to build a life you're proud of
- Stop sabotaging yourself and finally achieve your goals
- Protect yourself from your lower nature and the slow fade into mediocrity
- Discover your best self and unlock your full potential
- Build unshakable self-confidence and trust in your own word
Join us as we explore how setting clear boundaries can help you communicate with yourself, raise your performance, and create the thriving life you've always wanted. Don't let another day pass you by. It's time to stop just surviving and start living.
Subscribe now and hit the notification bell so you don't miss an episode!
Are you tired of feeling stretched thin and resentful? Do you want to build stronger relationships and live a more successful life? The key might be simpler than you think: boundaries.
In this episode of Thriving Man, host David Maxwell explains why boundaries are your most powerful tool for conquering everyday chaos. Using the powerful analogy of the Great Wall of China, he reveals how we often let our personal "walls" get breached by failing to make predetermined decisions.
Learn the three essential steps to setting effective boundaries:
- Discover why personal boundaries must start within you.
- Understand the critical need for clarity to avoid misunderstandings.
- Master the art of communicating boundaries calmly and confidently.
This show is your guide to taking back control, defining what's truly important, and creating the thriving life you were meant to live.
For more help to live a life of impact as a man, go to www.thrivingman.com.
Want INSANE focus? Feeling overwhelmed by everyday chaos? This video from Thriving Man is for you! We're tackling the 4 hidden assumptions that are secretly killing your focus and holding you back from a thriving life.
Many men fall prey to perfectionism, believing they need to be "all in" or control every single thing. But that mindset is a huge pitfall to controlling your life. We'll bust common myths like the "all or nothing" approach, the dangers of constant comparison, the idea that life won't change, and the delusion of complete control.
Learn how to improve your focus by ditching these unrealistic expectations. Discover why focus is a muscle that needs consistent work, how to navigate the influence of others without getting sidetracked, and why embracing change is crucial for staying sharp. We'll even show you how to ride life's waves by focusing on your reactions, not just the uncontrollable.
Stop letting distractions win! It's time to conquer your chaos and build a thriving life. Hit subscribe, like, and share to join the Thriving Man community! Visit ThrivingMan.com for more resources and help.
Tired of feeling scattered? In this video, "Time Tools for Better Focus," discover powerful time management techniques to boost your productivity and achieve deep work. We explore how various focus tools can help you conquer distractions and make the most of your day.
Learn how to implement the Checklist Method for prioritizing tasks and freeing up mental space. We'll show you how the Big 3 method can motivate you with strategic breaks, and demystify the Pomodoro Method for efficient bursts of work and planned rest.
Dive into Time Boxing with Marc Zao-Sanders' key principles: What, When, One, and Enough. See how this technique can transform your to-do list into a structured calendar for improved concentration.
Discover how to personalize your productivity tools to fit your unique personality and phase of life. We'll discuss combining methods and adapting them for seasonal use and daily routines, even for your hobbies like learning guitar!
Still struggling to focus? We've got you covered with bonus tools to enhance your concentration. Learn about setting cues and habits in your environment, the power of background music (like lo-fi!), and the impact of lighting on your focus. Plus, we'll share tips on using phone apps and desktop apps to minimize distractions and maximize your workflow. Get ready to supercharge your focus and get more done!
This episode is part of our series on Catch & Release. Make sure to check the whole series out to make you more productive and focused.
Deep Work Environment: Master Your Focus & Productivity - Thriving ManStruggling to concentrate at work? Feeling overwhelmed by distractions and low productivity? You're not alone! Many men battle to increase focus and boost productivity, often overlooking a critical element: their environment.
In this episode of Thriving Man, join us as we reveal how your deep work environment is the key to mastering your focus and unlocking unprecedented productivity. Just like trying to have a conversation in a noisy room, your surroundings profoundly impact your ability to concentrate and get important tasks done.
We'll dive into practical strategies to help you design your workspace for productivity and optimize your focus. Learn how to:
Define Your Space's Intent: Discover how establishing a clear purpose for each area, from your home office setup to a dedicated reading nook, can dramatically improve your concentration skills. We'll explore the difference between a relaxing vacation and a memory-making one, and how defining space helped those working from home during COVID-19.
Align Your Space with Your Schedule: Understand the power of intentionality in choosing the right location for specific activities. Whether it's deep conversations with your spouse or strategic thinking sessions, we'll show you how to match your environment to your goals, even utilizing everyday spaces like car rides for focused time.
Orient Your Mental Landscape: Acknowledge your weaknesses and tendencies to create an environment that supports your best self. From phone-free bedrooms to digital distraction blockers and smart work setup configurations, learn how to remove temptations and build a space where focus is your default. Stop telling yourself you "should be stronger" and instead, design your reality for success.
If you're ready to conquer everyday chaos, improve focus, and build a thriving life, this video is for you! Hit subscribe, like, and share to join the Thriving Man community.
How to Have Peace Without Running Away: Your Daily Escape from ChaosHave you ever just wanted to pack up and run away? To jump in the car and never look back? We've all felt that urge, especially when life gets overwhelming. We might take a vacation, hoping it'll fix everything, only to find the stress creeps back the moment we return. Many of us are stressed not because we've chosen too much, but because we never set anything down. It's like holding a 15-lb dumbbell for an entire day versus curling a 30-lb one—the constant strain is exhausting!
In this episode, Thriving Man's very own Reese Maxwell will teach you the art of taking a "vacation every day" and how to start creating blank space in your life right now. We're passionate about empowering you to conquer your everyday chaos and build a thriving life!
The Lost Art of DisengagingWe've lost the crucial art of disengaging. Our minds are filled with constant mental background noise, and we often numb out with our phones or simply want to quit. But disengaging isn't about giving up; it's the art of letting go—a mini, mental vacation. We get so consumed by chores, projects, and obligations that we never truly observe our lives; we just survive them.
Imagine a professor who lectures non-stop versus one who allows time to process the content. That's the power of blank space in your mind and life. Don't wait until the holidays to experience a moment of disengagement. Rest mentally by being fully present, not wishing you were anywhere else. We often regret not slowing down or taking more time—let's change that!
How to Take a Mini Vacation & Create Blank Space1. Start Small: Creating blank space in your life doesn't happen by accident. Begin with small, intentional steps. Try going to the bathroom without your phone, or decide to leave your phone behind for an activity to be truly present. Schedule dedicated "chill time" on your calendar. Set a timer and allow yourself to simply let go for that period. It's like getting reps in at the gym; the more you practice, the easier it becomes. The goal isn't perfect meditation, but rather to let your brain simply "brain" in these moments. Blank space provides crucial mental and time margin, just like leaving enough distance between cars on the road. It helps your brain process and prepare for what's next.
2. Pick Some Classics: These aren't necessarily about formal meditation, but about letting go and enjoying satisfying activities or connection time. There are timeless activities that humans have always benefited from, and you can incorporate them as blank space in your life:
- Walking/Hiking: Get out into nature and clear your head.
- Chilling with your family: Unplug and connect with loved ones.
- Dinner party with friends: Enjoy good company and conversation.
- Slow Hobbies (Play): Ever wonder why people love Dungeons & Dragons or painting miniatures? It's about the joy of play and creating something.
Your ChallengeDisengaging is a skill, and it takes practice to master the art of letting go. But the effort is absolutely worth it—it will change you for the better. We challenge you to:
- Take the no-phone bathroom challenge!
- Take one mental vacation a day! Start with 15 minutes, 30, or even an hour if you can.
- Recognize and appreciate it if you're already doing it! It's good to acknowledge when you're giving yourself a much-needed break.
Are you ready to start finding peace without running away? Hit subscribe, like this video, and share it with a friend who needs a daily escape!
Are you constantly battling distractions? Feel like your focus is under attack from every direction? On "Fighting for Your Attention," we expose the subtle and not-so-subtle forces vying for your mind. Join David Maxwell from ThrivingMan.com as we uncover how your body, brain, and modern culture conspire to pull your attention away. Learn practical strategies to identify your unique struggles – whether it's getting started or stopping too late – and reclaim your focused attention. This isn't passive; it's a fight you man up for, with daily effort and conscious choices. Ready to conquer your everyday chaos and build a thriving life? Hit subscribe, and let's get in the ring!
More resources and help at thrivingman.com
Are you trying to do it all, all at once? From excelling in your career to maintaining a social life, drinking enough water, exercising, and staying sane – it's easy to feel overwhelmed. In this episode, we reveal "The Catch and Release Method" – a powerful way to focus your attention, break down chaos into manageable pieces, and build a truly thriving life. Stop procrastinating and start living in rhythm!
The Overwhelm Trap: Why trying to do everything at once leads to burnout and how many of us fall into this "all or nothing" mindset.
The Power of Focused Attention: Understanding that your attention is your most powerful tool and how to use it effectively.
Introducing the Catch and Release Method: Learn how to engage and disengage at regular intervals, rather than an "all the time or never" approach.
Life's Natural Rhythms: Discover how aligning with natural rhythms (day/night, seasons, tides) can prevent overwhelm and promote well-being.
Society's Rhythms: How recognizing societal rhythms (holidays, business quarters) can help you break down large tasks.
Rhythms for Overwhelm & Procrastination: How rhythms help you respond proactively to challenges instead of reacting, using a real-world example like preparing for a major event.
Being Present & Grounded: Learn how applying the catch and release method helps you stay present, reduces overthinking, and builds inner security.
How You Approach Life Matters: Why your approach to life is as important as what you do, especially concerning your attention.
Subscribe, Like, and Share: If this resonated with you, please subscribe to Thriving Man, like this video, and share it with someone who needs to hear it!
Visit ThrivingMan.com: For more resources on conquering everyday chaos and building a thriving life.
What are YOUR rhythms? Do you catch and release, or do you try to hold onto it all? Share your thoughts in the comments below!
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Tired of constant distractions? Feeling like your phone has a magnetic pull on your hand?
In this episode of Thriving Man, "3 Big Truths About Attention," we dive deep into why our ability to focus is one of our most powerful assets – and how you can actually improve it!
Join David Maxwell from ThrivingMan.com, as we explore why attention is the real currency of life, how it brings meaning and power, and practical ways to train your focus like a muscle.
Stop letting your attention be controlled and start building a thriving life.
Subscribe, Like, and Share to empower yourself and conquer your everyday chaos!
Introduction: The Boredom Epidemic
- Why we instantly grab our phones during downtime.
- The silent cost of losing our ability to pay attention.
- A sneak peek at the 3 Big Truths about Attention and how they impact your life.
The Power of Attention Defined
- Why paying attention is hard work in a world bombarded with stimuli.
- Attention = Time + Focus: Understanding the true equation.
- Taking control of your focus to control your life.
Attention as Currency
- Why attention is the real currency of life, not just time.
- How where you put your attention defines your life's direction.
- Investing your attention for a meaningful life and stronger relationships.
Attention Training: Building Your Focus Muscle
- Think of attention like a muscle: you can build it up or let it atrophy.
- Practical steps to start training your attention (e.g., setting phone limits).
- Discover resources at ThrivingMan.com to help you focus on the 4 main areas of your life: Spiritual, Physical, Mental, Emotional.
Actionable Questions:
- Are you controlling your attention, or allowing it to be controlled?
- Are you investing your attention into the important and meaningful parts of life?
- What are you actively doing to train your attention?
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Last time, we talked about how we've become tired and wired, constantly "on" with too many mental tabs open. Today, we're diving deeper into the critical question: why does losing our brain's on-off switch matter so much? The answer is simple: it's costing us – in our potential, our satisfaction, and our ability to truly rest.
First, we'll explore how the inability to focus hinders our potential. Imagine trying to hit a game-winning shot while distracted by a dozen other things. We've lost the crucial art of dropping everything else to focus on one thing, whether it's a critical work project, quality time with our kids, or even navigating the road safely. When you can't be present, you can't truly excel.
Next, we reveal how this constant "on" state sabotages our satisfaction. The male brain, in particular, thrives on making steady progress towards a goal. But when our minds are constantly bombarded by distractions – akin to someone trying to sell you dessert during an intense football practice – we lose the profound satisfaction that comes from focused effort and achievement. This constant mental chatter prevents us from savoring our accomplishments and enjoying the journey.
Finally, we'll uncover how losing our on-off switch ruins our rest. We were designed for a natural rhythm of work and rest, reflected in days, weeks, and even seasons. However, modern life has eroded these vital barriers. Our homes have become extensions of our workplaces, and our minds struggle to unplug, leading to a lingering voice of doubt that hinders true mental relaxation. When all parts of life are blended together, nothing has its own distinct time and place, leaving us with a "blended" and often unsatisfying experience.
Join us at ThrivingMan.com, where we're dedicated to helping you conquer everyday chaos and build a life you can be proud of. In our next episode, we'll uncover why we find ourselves in this perpetual "on" state and explore the ongoing war on our attention and peace.
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In today's fast-paced world, it feels like we're constantly on, always connected, and perpetually busy. But despite all the tech designed to make life easier, why do we feel more stressed and tired than ever?
In this video, we're diving into "3 Reasons Why We’re Tired and Wired" and exploring the crucial skill of "catch and release" to help you regain focus and find peace amidst the chaos.
We'll uncover how we've lost our mental on-off switch, leaving countless "tabs" open in our minds and blurring the lines between work and leisure. Discover how this constant mental juggling leads to stress, procrastination, and a life lived in shades of grey.
Next, we'll expose how our addiction to checklists and the "tips and tricks rabbit hole" can actually prevent us from taking action. Are you constantly searching for the "secrets" to productivity, only to find yourself more overwhelmed? We'll discuss how trying to do it all, or conversely, running away from it all, keeps us from living a productive and peaceful life.
Finally, we'll introduce the powerful meta-skill of "catch and release." Learn how to mentally and physically engage deeply when it's time to focus, and then truly disengage and let go when it's time to rest. This isn't just about time management; it's about mastering your mental energy.
Join us at ThrivingMan.com, a community for like-minded men striving to thrive in all areas of life amidst everyday chaos.
Hit subscribe, like, and share to help us reach more men who need to hear this message!
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Title: Transform Your Self-Talk: Become Your Own Best Ally (Not Your Worst Enemy!)
Do you feel like you're constantly battling yourself? Our culture often pushes us to be our own worst critics, but what if you could become your greatest supporter? In this episode, Reese from ThrivingMan.com dives deep into the power of self-talk – the silent soundtrack that shapes your entire life.
We'll explore why your internal dialogue is the cornerstone of true security and how it impacts everything from your daily mood to your long-term success. Discover how a mindset shift, like the characters in "Blue Lock" and "Naruto," can transform perceived victimhood into resilience. We'll challenge the idea of "bad days" and show you why your internal narrative, not just your circumstances, dictates your joy and performance.
Learn practical strategies to observe your thought patterns, nurture a positive inner voice, and even "lecture" yourself into becoming your own best coach. Stop self-sabotaging and start building a thriving life you can be proud of!
If this content helps you, please Like and Share!
In this episode, we cover:
The critical choice: ally or enemy in your own mind?
Why self-talk is the foundation of security.
How your mental soundtrack colors your perception of life.
The difference between a "bad day" and a "bad mindset."
Real-world examples of mindset's impact on joy and performance.
Practical steps to observe, nurture, and lecture your way to positive self-talk.
Find more resources to help you at www.thrivingman.com
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Insecurity’s Natural Enemy
What if there was a natural enemy to insecurity? Something that automatically conquers your insecurity and takes it away? In this video, David from Thriving Man reveals the powerful truth he discovered that’s been transforming his life for 28 years: the more you discover how you are designed, the more secure you become as a man.
We often focus on our flaws, but the secret to conquering insecurity isn't to fight it directly. It's about shifting your focus to your unique, God-given design. Just like we naturally adapt to new technology, we can grow into our authentic selves.
Join us as we explore:
- Why trying to be someone else actually fuels insecurity
- How your journey of discovery in the 4 D's of life (Mental, Physical, Emotional, Spiritual) leads to natural security
- The power of focusing on growth rather than fixating on your insecurity
Stop trying to be perfect and start embracing your authentic self. Learn how focusing on your natural strengths and weaknesses, and committing to growth, will organically melt away your insecurity and empower you to live a thriving life.
📌 Don't forget to Subscribe to Thriving Man for more insights on conquering chaos and building a thriving life!
Chapters:
The iPhone Analogy: Natural Growth
You Were Created Unique
Your Journey of Discovery Fuels Security
The 4 D's of Life: Mental, Physical, Emotional, Spiritual
Focus on Your Growth, Not Insecurity
Call to Action: Start Your Journey
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Show Notes: Transform Your Life: How Good Relationships Create True SecurityWelcome to the Security Series! In this episode, we're diving deep into a surprising truth: while releasing the need for external approval is crucial, healthy relationships are absolutely fundamental to understanding and experiencing true love and security. It’s not about being "mushy" or self-indulgent; it's about becoming your own ally and building a foundation of inner strength.
We discuss how love, like any vital resource, needs to flow. When it's hoarded or kept in isolation, it stagnates and ultimately dies. Just as an economy needs the flow of money, your emotional well-being needs the flow of give and receive love. This is why the idea of "love yourself" isn't about being alone; it's about being in a position to love and be loved by others, learning what that truly looks like from those around you. We'll explore Dr. Henry Cloud's insights on how we learn love from our earliest relationships and how allowing others to see your flaws and still like you can teach you to like yourself.
But what if you didn't have those strong examples growing up, or you find yourself isolated now? Don't worry, we've got you covered! We'll share actionable advice on how to find healthy relationships that will bolster your security and well-being.
In this episode, you'll learn: Why security is about being comfortable and loving yourself, not about self-indulgence. * The crucial role of others in learning to give and receive love. * The danger of isolation and how it stunts emotional growth. * "Green Flags" to look for in healthy friendships: authenticity, the ability to celebrate others, a general slant toward positivity and gratitude, and resilience. * Where to look for these supportive relationships, including healthy churches and community groups. * "Red Flags" to watch out for: dependency, consistent negativity, and a habit of quitting*.
Your Challenge:1. Make a list of "green flag" people in your life to reach out to. 2. Contact them within the next week to start a conversation. 3. Identify any "red flag" relationships that might be holding you back and consider how to create healthy boundaries.
Don't forget to subscribe for more insights on building true security from the inside out! and find more resources at www.thrivingman.com
security, relationships, love, healthy relationships, emotional well-being, self-love, isolation, personal growth, authenticity, positivity, resilience, dependency, friendships, Dr. Henry Cloud, give and receive love, find friends, green flags, red flags, personal security, inner strength, well-being, emotional health, connection, community, transformation, self-acceptance.
In this powerful episode, David Maxwell of Thriving Man tackles a struggle many of us face: releasing the need for approval and letting go of what others think.
Introduction: The Trap of Seeking ApprovalDavid opens with a relatable illustration: trying to impress a professional drummer while playing in a band, highlighting how easy it is to get caught in the trap of focusing on what others think. This desire for external validation can prevent us from truly living as the men we were designed to be. This episode, part of the Insecurity Series, is all about helping you live a thriving life.
The Historical Struggle with External OpinionThe struggle with what others think is not new. From fashion choices to relationship decisions (like picking a partner for appearance rather than connection), we often let external perceptions dictate our lives. David clarifies that it’s not about never caring what people think, but about releasing the need for approval. When you live for others' approval, you lose control of your own life.
Two Keys to Releasing the Need for Approval1. Build a Healthy DetachmentHealthy detachment is not coldness or indifference. Instead, it's a mature and balanced way of relating to the world. It allows you to:
- Focus on your individual well-being while engaging in respectful interactions.
- Navigate complex relationships without losing yourself.
- Practice compassion without enmeshment and engagement without undue emotional burden.
- Live authentically, without playing a part or acting out a character.
- Cultivate empathy and build healthy connections, avoiding the people-pleasing trap.
Healthy detachment requires truth:
- Be honest about your own strengths and weaknesses.
- Be truthful in your dealings with others, speaking honestly about your actions.
-
Jesus is presented as an example: loving and empathetic, yet speaking uncomfortable truths and not letting others control him.
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Learn to Release ControlYou cannot control what others think of you, so stop trying. This doesn't mean you don't care, but it means their opinions can't control you. David illustrates this with examples like wearing uncomfortable fashion trends or putting on an "I don't care mask" – both are attempts to control perception. The key is to simply be you.
Trying to control others' opinions often stems from our own insecurity. As you become more secure in who you are, acknowledging both your strengths and weaknesses, you'll develop a peace that permeates all areas of your life. While protecting your name and integrity is important, you ultimately cannot control what happens in other people's minds.
Your Call to ActionStart by focusing on building your healthy detachment:
- Individual well-being: How are you growing as a man? Explore resources at Thrivingman.com.
- Respectful interactions: Are you cultivating strong friendships and relationships?
By taking these steps to release the need for approval, you will unlock a whole new aspect of your life and truly begin to thrive.
Ready to ditch the "I got it" facade and step into real growth? 💪 This week, we're getting HONEST about our weaknesses and why OWNING them is the key to conquering insecurity! We've all been there, pretending we're fine when the weights are too heavy or relationship struggles weigh us down. It's time to see our vulnerabilities not as failures, but as fertile ground for development.
Remember last week? We talked about embracing a spirit of adventure! Now, we're diving deeper into the journey of conquering insecurity, and HONESTY is our compass. We'll explore why EVERYONE is imperfect, why chasing unattainable perfection sets us up for unhappiness, and how vulnerability is simply an openness to the reality of being human.
Feeling brave? We'll guide you through honestly evaluating yourself (strengths AND weaknesses!), learning from trusted people (even when it's tough to hear!), and inviting the right support into your growth journey.
Stop beating yourself up and start building yourself up! Knowing your weaknesses isn't a defeat; it's the first step to getting stronger.
Stay tuned for next week's video, where we'll tackle the need for others' approval! 👀
honesty, weaknesses, self-awareness, vulnerability, insecurity, personal growth, self-improvement, self-acceptance, imperfection, growth mindset, asking for help, feedback, self-assessment, overcoming insecurity, embracing flaws
Ready to boldly go where you've never gone before? Just like Captain Kirk on the Enterprise, there's a spirit of adventure inside each of us that yearns to connect with the unknown. But often, life feels less like a starship and more like being stuck in orbit, held back by the gravity of fear and insecurity.
In this episode of ThrivingMan.com, join David Maxwell as we explore how to Unleash Your Courage: Living with a Spirit of Adventure. We'll dive into why that adventurous spark seems to fade as we get older and how to reignite it, breaking free from the paralysis of "what ifs."
We'll uncover two powerful ways to cultivate this vital spirit:
Willingness to Put Yourself Out There:
Remember when you were a kid, learning to walk, undeterred by tumbles? We'll rediscover that "why not?" attitude that allows us to take smart risks and try new things, understanding that messing up is just part of the journey. It's about being authentically you, even when it feels a little scary.
Separating Performance from Identity:
What if a setback didn't define you? We'll explore the crucial skill of detaching your worth from your achievements. Whether you soar or stumble, your fundamental value as a person remains constant. This inner security is the bedrock that allows you to navigate both failure and victory with grounded wisdom.
Ready to take the first step? Here's your mission:
Get Grounded: Identify the unwavering foundations of who you are – your faith, relationships, and core values.
Pick Your Adventure: Choose one area where you can intentionally step outside your comfort zone – whether it's being more outgoing, trying a new hobby, approaching dating with fresh eyes, deepening your faith, or building new friendships.
Reflect and Grow: Start a habit like journaling to process your experiences and track your growth along the way.
Visit Thrivingman.com for more resources to help you on your journey.
It's time to stop holding back. Unleash your courage, embrace the spirit of adventure, and become the man you were designed to be!
Courage #SpiritofAdventure #Boldly Go #Insecurity #Fear #Hesitation #ComfortZone #NewExperiences #Risk-Taking #TryingNewThings #Failure #Performance #Identity #InnerSecurity
From Self-Critic to Self-Cheerleader: 3 Lessons from Uncle Iroh & Fire Lord Ozai
➡️ Tired of the negative voice in your head? Learn 3 actionable steps to go from constantly criticizing yourself to becoming your own biggest cheerleader! We're using the iconic contrast between Uncle Iroh and Fire Lord Ozai from Avatar: The Last Airbender to show you how.
Hey Thriving Men! David Maxwell here from ThrivingMan.com. We're tackling insecurity head-on!
Learn why your inner "idiot" is holding you back and how to cultivate self-compassion. We'll analyze Iroh's wisdom and Ozai's negativity to unlock the secrets to self-acceptance.
Here's how to transform your inner critic:
- Open Up Your Worldview: Like Uncle Iroh, see the world beyond yourself to reduce self-obsession and criticism.
- Build Solid Relationships: Mirror Iroh's nurturing relationships to shift focus outward and build self-worth.
- Find Your Joy: Embrace simple pleasures like Uncle Iroh to build inner peace and combat negativity.
It starts by looking outward, not inward.
#SelfHelp #SelfCompassion #PositiveThinking #AvatarLessons #IrohWisdom #OzaiContrast #InsecurityHelp #PersonalDevelopmentForMen #ThrivingMan #InnerCritic #SelfLove #RelationshipAdvice #FindingJoy
Stop Blaming, Start Owning! 4 Keys to Take Control & Crush Insecurity
Tired of saying "it's not my fault"? We all do it, often without realizing it!
Learn the 4 crucial keys to owning your journey, taking radical responsibility, and finally letting go of insecurity and the need for perfectionism.
Welcome to ThrivingMan.com! I'm David Maxwell, helping you conquer chaos and thrive. This is the FIX for insecurity we've been diagnosing! Learn why taking responsibility (even when it's hard - my first job story!) is the ultimate power move.
In this video:
- Stepping into Ownership: It's a choice! Learn how self-ownership empowers you (like Jinwoo!).
- Recognize Perfectionism: Your "do it right or not at all" mentality might be keeping you from growth and responsibility.
- Embrace Failure as a Teacher: Shift your mindset! Failure isn't your identity, it's your greatest lesson (growth mindset!).
- Make the Mindset Shift: Separate your worth from your performance for true freedom and resilience.
Ready to take control? Practice separating who you are from what you do. Discover the freedom of authentic ownership!
Check out more resources to help you grow as a man at www.thrivingman.com.
#OwnYourJourney #TakeResponsibility #Insecurity #OvercomeInsecurity #Perfectionism #PersonalGrowth #ThrivingMan #MensMentalHealth #SelfOwnership #FailureIsLearning #GrowthMindset #Accountability
Unmasking Yourself: Why We Project a False Image & How It Hurts Us 🎭
Do you ever feel like you're wearing a mask, pretending to be someone you're not? You're not alone. This eye-opening video explores the common reasons behind projecting a false image – from social media pressures to our own insecurities.
Quick Question: What's ONE WORD that comes to mind when you think about "faking it"? Share in the comments below!
This is the final part of our "diagnosing" series (catch the previous video on humility vs. insecurity). Now, we're tackling the why behind the facade:
- It feels normal in our society.
- Social media often fuels the highlight reel.
- We see curated versions of celebrities.
- Even church on Sunday can become a performance.
- It's a defense mechanism against rejection.
But what are the real costs of living behind a mask? We'll break down examples (the funny one, the alpha, the aloof) and the surprising consequences, including becoming obsessed with our image, distorting how we see others, seeking validation, and ultimately blocking genuine intimacy. You can't be truly loved if you're not truly known.
Are you ready to take a look in the mirror? Are you filling a role because you're unsure of your identity, or because you're uncomfortable with your authentic self?
Don't miss the next video! We'll be diving into practical steps on how to shed the mask and embrace your true self.
#Mask #FalseSelf #AuthenticLiving #SelfImage #Insecurity #Honesty #Relationships #PersonalGrowth #EmotionalIntelligence #Transformation
Self-Hatred ≠ Humility: Unmask Your True WorthEver notice those overpowered anime characters? Take Jin Woo from Solo Leveling. He starts out weak and becomes a total boss, yet he often still doubts himself.
A lot of people think that's humility, but it’s not. True humility isn't about thinking you're less; it's about being secure enough to think of yourself less and focus on others.
I'm David Maxwell from thrivingman.com, where we help you conquer the chaos and build a truly thriving life.
Today, we're tackling a common trap: mistaking self-hatred for humility. We'll unpack C.S. Lewis's powerful quote: "Humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less." So many of us get this wrong, constantly putting ourselves down, thinking that's what we're supposed to do. But this mindset hurts us and hinders our growth. Let's dive into how this plays out and how to naturally break free.
The Mask Problem: Remember Jim Carrey in "The Mask"? Slapping on a persona because he didn't know how to be his authentic self? A lot of guys today struggle with this, wearing a "mask" to pretend or play a part because they're insecure. I saw this in myself after I found God, trying to cover up my insecurities by acting "humble," constantly putting myself down. It didn't work! It held me back. We've got to be careful we're not hiding behind a mask, preventing ourselves from learning how to be genuinely authentic in our worldview.
The Gravity Issue: We often see ourselves as the sun in our own solar system, with everything revolving around "me." But while we're not the center of the universe, we're definitely not the trash of the universe either! We tend to go all-or-nothing: either we're the most important person, or we're worthless. This self-hatred doesn't benefit us or our relationships.
The Focus Shift: The key to true humility isn't dwelling on your perceived shortcomings; it's intentionally shifting your focus outward, towards serving and helping others. Think about walking into an event and your first thought being, "Who can I help feel comfortable here?" Genuine care and service is the core of humility. But be warned: serving to "network" or get ahead is just another form of pride. We want to authentically serve because it's a natural expression of humility. Interestingly, it's often in serving others that we discover and develop our gifts.
True humility is being secure enough to take the spotlight off yourself.
- Check your Masks: Are you hiding behind a persona?
- Check your Universe: Does everything revolve around you?
- Work on Shifting Your Focus: Intentionally look for ways to serve and help others.
For more help on living a thriving life, head over to www.thrivingman.com.
Why “Thinking Less" of Yourself is Self-SabotageHey, it's Reese Maxwell here, and welcome back to the series on insecurity!
If you're new here, make sure you hit that subscribe button and the bell notification so you don't miss out on future episodes where we dig deep into understanding and overcoming the things that hold us back.
Last week, we talked about the draining trap of external validation. Today, we're tackling another sneaky form of self-sabotage: thinking less of yourself.
We often hear the "suck it up" mentality, the idea that being hard on ourselves will somehow whip us into shape, like those disciplined Marines or the stoic figures we admire. But is self-hatred truly an effective motivator?
Think of it like a firework – a burst of initial energy, but then it quickly fades, leaving you feeling drained and deflated. We see this play out in everything from restrictive dieting to the relentless pursuit of physical perfection.
But the problem goes deeper than just burnout. Self-hatred is incredibly distracting. When you're constantly beating yourself up internally, you become trapped inside your own head, unable to truly focus and perform in the outside world. I remember my own struggles with self-doubt during masters swimming and even just trying to enjoy a high school party, my mind constantly consumed by how I felt.
Ultimately, this inward negativity is destructive. For me, the cycle of self-loathing after struggling with porn only made things worse, each cycle breeding more cynicism and pulling me into an increasingly self-focused spiral.
Stop using self-hatred as a weapon against yourself. It's not making you stronger; it's holding you back.
In this episode, we'll explore:
- Why the "tough love" approach towards yourself often backfires.
- How self-hatred drains your energy and motivation in the long run.
- The way negative self-talk distracts you from your goals and experiences.
- The destructive cycle of self-loathing and its impact on your well-being.
- How focusing inward through self-hatred isolates you.
Let's break free from this self-sabotaging pattern and discover a more effective path to growth and self-acceptance.
Question for the comments: In what areas of your life do you find yourself using self-hatred as a form of motivation? Share your experiences below.
Find more help at www.thrivingman.com
Self-sabotage, Negative self-talk, Low self-esteem, Self-doubt, Insecurity, Self-hatred, Motivation, Personal growth, Mental health, Overcoming insecurity, How to overcome negative thoughts?, How to build self-worth?, The dangers of negative self-talk, Overcoming self-doubt and insecurity
Chasing Shadows: Why Outside Approval Never Fills YouEver nail that promotion, graduation, or win that award you thought would finally make you feel... satisfied? And then... crickets? You're not alone.
Welcome to Thriving Man, where we help you conquer the everyday chaos and build a truly thriving life. In this eye-opening episode, David Maxwell dives deep into why chasing external validation – the approval, praise, and achievements recognized by others – will always leave you feeling empty.
We dissect the fleeting highs of milestones like graduations, job promotions, and bonuses, revealing why these "wins" often feel underwhelming despite our expectations. We'll expose the vicious cycle of insecurity that living for external validation creates, turning you into a servant of others' opinions instead of the master of your own life.
Think external validation lasts? We'll look at how quickly society forgets yesterday's heroes and viral sensations, highlighting the short-lived nature of these external "wins." We'll also explore the dangerous power dynamic that emerges when you rely on others for your sense of worth, leaving you vulnerable to manipulation and scams.
From classic movie tropes of characters losing everything in their quest for external approval to the ever-shifting sands of societal "must-haves" and even nutritional advice, we'll illustrate how easily external forces can control us if we haven't cultivated a strong inner life.
Ready to break free from chasing shadows?
This episode will help you understand:
- Why external achievements often fail to bring lasting contentment.
- The short lifespan of external validation and why it needs constant chasing.
- How relying on others' opinions can strip you of your autonomy.
- The vulnerability that comes with seeking constant outside approval.
- Why developing your inner compass is crucial for true fulfillment.
Take control of your life and discover where true contentment really lies.
Ask yourself today: "Who am I really living for?" and "What am I truly living for?"
Ready to build a thriving life from the inside out? Visit us at www.thrivingman.com to explore our courses designed to help you grow in the four fundamental areas of every man: Spiritual, Physical, Mental, and Emotional.
External validation, Seeking approval, Need for validation, Insecurity, Self-worth, Inner contentment, Happiness, Fulfillment, Living for others, People pleasing, Why am I never satisfied?, Why does achievement feel empty?, How to find inner peace?, How to be happy with yourself?
Title: The Inner Quest: Why We Feel the Need to Prove Ourselves (And How to Break Free)
Welcome back to our series, where we're dedicated to helping you CONQUER INSECURITY SO YOU CAN LIVE A LIFE OF FREEDOM AND CONFIDENCE. In our previous episode, we explored the importance of security and its impact on your life. If you haven't seen it yet, make sure to catch up!
In this video, we're diving deep into the root of insecurity: the relentless need to prove ourselves. Have you ever felt that intense pressure to validate your worth through achievements, performance, or external approval? You're not alone.
Join us as we explore:
- The Drive to Prove: We'll share personal stories and relatable examples, like the anxiety of high-stakes performances and the constant pressure to excel.
- The Naruto Complex: How the desire to prove ourselves can fuel ambition, but also lead to unhealthy obsession.
- The Myth of External Validation: Why achievements and external praise can never truly fill the void of self-worth.
- The Instability of External Approval: How relying on others' opinions creates a rollercoaster of emotions and fleeting satisfaction.
- The Drama of External Validation: How it turns everyday accomplishments into high-stakes, anxiety-inducing events.
We'll tackle the crucial question: Is trying to prove ourselves helpful or hurtful? Is it healthy or unhealthy?
Key Takeaways:
- The desire to achieve and improve is not inherently bad.
- However, using achievements to fill a lack of self-worth is a recipe for disaster.
- True confidence comes from internal validation, not external approval.
- Understanding your motivations is the first step towards breaking free from the need to prove yourself.
This video will help you examine your own motivations and understand why external validation is a shaky foundation for confidence.
Don't forget to:
- 👍 Like this show if you found it insightful!
- 🔔 Subscribe and turn on notifications to stay updated on the rest of this empowering series.
- 💬 Share your experiences and thoughts in the comments below.
Let's embark on this inner quest and discover the path to genuine self-worth.
Insecurity #SelfWorth #Confidence #PersonalGrowth #Motivation #InnerPeace #Validation #MensMentalHealth
Is Insecurity Sabotaging Your Life?
Are you one of the many men struggling with insecurity? You're not alone. In today's world, insecurity is reaching epidemic levels, silently sabotaging lives and relationships. But what if you could break free from those feelings of inadequacy and live with genuine confidence?
In this video, we dive deep into the root causes of male insecurity and explore how it manifests in surprising ways:
- The constant need to impress.
- The aggression that masks inner fear.
- The escape into virtual worlds.
- The relentless cynicism and negativity.
- And so much more.
We'll uncover the truth: many of the challenges we face stem from our own internal insecurities. But it's not all doom and gloom! We'll also explore the incredible benefits of conquering insecurity, including:
- Freedom Up Here: Silence that inner critic and become your own best ally.
- Freedom to Act: Overcome analysis paralysis and pursue a meaningful life.
- Authentic Relationships: Build genuine connections by being your true self.
- Contagious Security: Inspire others to embrace their own authenticity.
This is the first video in a series dedicated to helping you CONQUER INSECURITY SO YOU CAN LIVE A LIFE OF FREEDOM AND CONFIDENCE.
Join us as we embark on this journey to self-discovery and empowerment.
Don't forget to:
- 👍 Like this show if you found it helpful!
- 🔔 Subscribe to our channel for more content on building confidence and living authentically.
- 💬 Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below.
Let's break free from insecurity together!
Insecurity #Confidence #MensMentalHealth #SelfImprovement #PersonalGrowth #Authenticity #Freedom #Relationships
Heartbreak or rejection got you down? Don't let it define you!
This video acts as your Breakup/Rejection Survival Kit, packed with actionable advice to help you heal and move forward.
We start by understanding the purpose of dating.
Learn why leaning on your friends ("Hang out with the boyz!") is vital to avoid isolating and wallowing in pain.
We'll give you practical tips for letting go – from stopping the replay loop and journaling to taking ownership and avoiding the pitfalls of rebound relationships.
Remember, life goes on, and this video will help you see that.
Find more resources for a thriving life at thrivingman.com.
Share this video to help someone else through a tough time!
Breakup, Rejection, Getting over a breakup, Dealing with rejection, Handling breakup, Handling rejection, Moving on after breakup, Coping with breakup, Coping with rejection, Heartbreak
The big question that keeps you up at night: Am I really ready for marriage?
It's normal to feel unsure, and the idea of "readiness" can feel overwhelming. Join David Maxwell from Thriving Man as we cut through the cliches and explore what it truly means to be ready for this massive step.
You don't need to be perfect, but there are key questions that can guide you.
Today, we're dispelling the myth of perfect readiness and revealing the honest self-checks you need to determine whether you're on the right track for a lifelong commitment.
www.thrivingman.com has a wealth of resources to help you thrive as a man!
Am I Ready for Marriage, Signs You're Ready for Marriage, How to Know If You're Ready to Get Married, Marriage Readiness Test, Questions to Ask Before Marriage, When to Get Married, Is It Normal to Be Scared to Get Married, Commitment in Marriage, Building a Strong Marriage Foundation, Thriving Man Marriage Advice
Want to attract the right person and build a lasting connection?
This show reveals the secret weapon in dating: authenticity. Learn why being genuine is far more powerful than trying to impress.
We'll show you how embracing your strengths and weaknesses, and ditching the need to be perfect, leads to real attraction. Stop settling for "yeses" based on a fake persona and start getting "yeses" for the amazing person you indeed are.
Discover the freedom and joy of authentic dating!
Practical Tips
Myers-Briggs is a great free test
StrengthsFinder is a great paid test
The Flag Page is great for connecting with what you like
The 5 Love Languages is great for seeing how you give and receive love.
Habits for authenticity, reflection and journaling, prayer, and having real friendships.
Share this with a person you think it could help.
If you want more resources to help you succeed in the areas that really matter, go to thrivingman.com.
Authentic dating, Be yourself dating, Genuine connection dating, Dating advice be real, Stop trying too hard dating, Attract someone by being yourself, Self-awareness dating, Dating for real connections, Honest dating, Love based on authenticity
Let's face it, the first date can be exciting but also nerve-wracking, especially when those awkward silences creep in. What do you even talk about?
First dates don't have to be a minefield of awkward silences! On "No More Awkward Silences," David Maxwell of Thriving Man provides the essential strategies to spark engaging conversations and make a fantastic first impression. Discover how to prepare without overthinking, ask open-ended questions that reveal her personality, and rebound gracefully to keep the dialogue flowing. Get ready to unlock the secrets to confident and successful first dates!
- www.thrivingman.com has a wealth of resources to help you thrive as a man!
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Tired of endless dates that lead nowhere?
This show cuts through the confusion and redefines the purpose of dating: to intentionally discover if you're meant for a lifelong journey together in marriage. Think of it like choosing a spaceship – you wouldn't want to launch into the cosmos in the wrong vessel!
We'll explore how to make your dating process successful, whether the answer is a resounding "yes" or a respectful "no." Because either way, you found out, and that's the win! Learn why dating is a crucial process that takes time, revealing true character that fleeting encounters can't hide. Discover how to spot those critical red flags and confidently "peel out" when necessary – that's precisely what this season of exploration is for!
We'll also help you distinguish between non-negotiable deal breakers and personal preferences, avoiding the traps of overthinking and the fruitless pursuit of perfection. Instead, we'll focus on identifying individuals who share your fundamental values and demonstrate a willingness to grow alongside you.
This isn't about fleeting physical attraction; it's about building a deep mental, emotional, and spiritual connection – the bedrock of a lasting marriage. We'll address the impact of engaging in the intimate aspects of marriage before commitment and why waiting can be the key to a clearer perspective on your partner and your relationship.
If you've ever wondered, "Why do I keep attracting the wrong kind?" or questioned your judgment, this show offers practical insights and encouragement. Remember, even a "no" is a valuable lesson that propels you forward.
Ready to date with intention and find the right co-pilot for your life's greatest adventure?
For more resources to help you succeed in the areas that truly matter, visit ThrivingMan.com.
Dating for marriage, Intentional dating, Finding "the one", Dating as a process, Sustainable relationships, Identifying red flags in dating, Dating warning signs, Knowing when to end a relationship, Realistic dating expectations, Why do I attract the wrong partners?, Successful dating (finding out if it's a yes or no), Avoiding the wrong relationship, making smart relationship choices
Can couples be friends, or is that just a pipe dream? In a world obsessed with compatibility, why don’t we hear more about building relationships from the foundation of friendship?
Today we’re diving into a fresh perspective on love. In this episode, we explore The Friendship Factor: Why It Makes or Breaks Your Relationship—and how getting this right might be the secret to a thriving, lasting relationship.
First, we’ll unpack why Friends Like Being Together. It’s not just about romance or putting your best foot forward—it’s about finding someone you genuinely enjoy and can be authentic with. From casual hangouts to deep conversations, discover how comfort and shared hobbies reveal the real person behind the date.
Then, we’ll tackle Tough Times are Easier with Friends. Life’s challenges hit hard, but a partner who’s also a friend becomes your rock. We’ll explore why vulnerability and emotional support are the unsung heroes of resilient relationships—because even monks didn’t go it alone!
Finally, Fun is the Emotional Glue of Relationships. Romance isn’t just grand gestures; it’s the inside jokes, everyday adventures, and shared laughter that build lasting memories and keep the spark alive.
Join us as we break down these three pillars, offering practical insights and real-world examples to rethink how you approach dating and marriage.
Stick around for a powerful call to action—share your own stories, subscribe, and help us spread the word. Tune in and discover why friendship isn’t just a bonus in love—it’s the foundation of a relationship that thrives.
Find more resources to help you grow as a man at www.thrivingman.com
Friendship in relationships, Couples as friends, Friend-based relationship, Importance of friendship in dating, Friendship in marriage, Comfort and authenticity in relationships, Emotional support in relationships, Fun in relationships, Shared experiences in relationships, Building a strong relationship through friendship
"The 4 Phases of Relationships"
Are you navigating the confusing world of modern relationships? This insightful show breaks down the journey to lasting love into four crucial phases: Talking/Hanging Out, Dating, Engagement, and Marriage.
Discover the purpose of each stage, from the initial exploration of common ground and mutual enjoyment in Phase 1, to the deeper value alignment and connection-building of Phase 2. Learn how the engagement period serves as a vital final review, emphasizing the importance of pre-marital counseling to prepare for marriage's practical and profound realities.
Finally, understand that marriage isn't the finish line, but the exciting launchpad for a shared life. This show highlights how successfully navigating the initial phases creates a stable foundation for a thriving and enduring partnership. Learn from real-life examples and gain valuable insights to avoid common pitfalls, like rushing into commitment.
Tune in to understand the building blocks of a successful relationship and learn how to intentionally progress through each phase to set your marriage up for lifelong happiness.
Perfect for: Anyone seeking clarity in their romantic relationships, individuals considering marriage, and those wanting to build a stronger foundation for their future together.
For more resources to help you succeed in the areas that matter, visit thrivingman.com.
Relationships, Dating, Marriage, Engagement, Talking Phase, Connection (Mental, Emotional, Spiritual), Pre-marital Counseling, Relationship Stages, Building a Foundation, Relationship Success
Momma's Boy Anonymous: Breaking the Unhealthy Relationship Expectations
Is your girlfriend's nickname "Momma"? Then we need to talk. In this crucial episode of Momma's Boy Anonymous, we dive deep into a common but damaging relationship pattern: men who unconsciously expect their partners to be more like mothers than a wife or girlfriends.
Why do so many men fall into this "Mommy Complex," and how does it sabotage their relationships? It's more common than you think, and it's not a recipe for a healthy partnership.
What comes to mind when you hear "Momma's boy"? We'll unpack the good and the bad, and why too many men seek a maternal figure in their romantic relationships. Remember, loving your mom is great, but your partner shouldn't have to be her. This isn't about criticizing mothers; it's about empowering men to grow!
She Won't Fix You: Are you expecting your partner to constantly provide emotional support and solve all your problems? We break down the unrealistic expectation that your significant other is there to "fix" your emotional or practical issues. Learn why true partners support you but aren't responsible for mending your insecurities. We'll provide actionable steps to take ownership of your well-being, including self-reflection, seeking mentors, and considering professional help.
She Can't Take Responsibility for You: Do you rely on your partner to manage your schedule, make decisions, and handle life's practicalities? This infantilizing dynamic undermines attraction and respect. We'll discuss the importance of shared responsibility in adult relationships and provide concrete steps to take charge of your finances, time, social life, and decision-making skills.
She Needs a Leader, Not a Child: Women are often drawn to men who exhibit leadership qualities. We clarify the difference between healthy leadership and being controlling and explore why lacking direction or avoiding conflict can be detrimental. Discover how taking initiative, making decisions, and providing direction fosters a more balanced and fulfilling relationship. We'll offer practical tips for developing confidence, assertiveness, and a clear vision for your life.
Breaking free from the "Mommy Complex" is the key to unlocking healthier and more fulfilling relationships. Reflect on your patterns and discover how your personal growth as a man can make all the difference.
Ready to break the cycle?
Visit www.thrivingman.com to learn more and explore our resource: Emotional Success 101.
When you embrace the man you were designed to be, your relationships will naturally fall into place.
Momma's Boy, Relationship Expectations, Unhealthy Relationships, Mommy Complex, Self-Reliance, Personal Growth, Emotional Responsibility, Taking Responsibility, Leadership in Relationships, Fixing Relationships, Adult Relationships, Independent Decision-Making, Assertiveness, Relationship Problems, Men's Issues
Destination: I Do - The Real Reason We DateWe are talking about dating and the purposes behind it. This is important to us as we are looking for relationships.
Dating is to see if they are the person you want to marry. If it is anything less, we fall into some nasty problems. This is why dating shouldn't be a casual pastime, but a purposeful journey to find a life partner.
We are going to explore the pitfalls of aimless dating and how to avoid them.
Eternally Casual DatingDating casually is a pretty crappy hobby
When dating is a hobby, the inevitable heartbreak will always show up
Question: "Why would you have a hobby that only ends up hurting you?"
Casual dating prevents genuine connection.
If both parties are not 100% committed, you will never get to the true depth of a relationship.
Dating Girls to Impress Other GuysDating to impress other guys….. is weird! No, it really is! Please don’t do this, we beg you!!
When we date for external validation, we will always be swimming in the shallow end of relationships.
Dating to impress other people brings inherent insecurity to a relationship.
You Stay StuckThe fear of emotional pain keeps many men away from deep meaningful relationships
This is a problem because they think past hurt dictates future outcomes.
Avoiding commitment prevents necessary change.
Casual dating will not push us to grow.
RESOURCES TO HELP YOU THRIVE AS A MAN
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Thriving Man Coaching Resources
4D MODEL FREE PDF
- Learn about the 4 fundamentals of a Successful Life
Discover OUR SPEAKING AND HOW WE HAVE EMPOWERED THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE ACROSS THE WORLD
Purposeful Dating, Serious Relationships, Avoiding Heartbreak, Men's Dating Advice, Casual Dating Pitfalls, Fear of Commitment, Bill Belichick dating
Too many men are acting around women and it hurts them from making a real connection. Today we provide actionable advice on building genuine emotional connections with women.
We are going to talk about the 2 secrets to making real connections with women: being genuine and emotionally powerful.
Real men have passion and aren’t afraid to express it. Passionate men are always more attractive
Passion isn’t a personality, it is a man who has strong feelings and can connect with them to be a more powerful man
Secret 1: Be GenuineMen have a common tendency to change their personalities to please potential partners.
This is unsustainable for a long-term positive relationship
The Solution: Self-Discovery (Not the Cliché Kind):
What are your core values?
What are your passions and interests?
What is your purpose in life?
Being genuine leads to confidence and attracts genuine connections.
Secret 2: Be Emotionally PowerfulThe Misconception: emotional intelligence equals weakness.
Emotional power is about understanding and focusing your emotions.
We must learn to recognize and articulate our emotions.
Jesus’ example: Cry, Anger, Battle, Passion, Obedience, Laughter
Women value men who understand their emotional landscape.
Knowing your emotions allows you to control them.
Start working on these first, before you dive into the dating pool
RESOURCES TO HELP YOU THRIVE AS A MAN
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Thriving Man Coaching Resources
4D MODEL FREE PDF
Learn about the 4 fundamentals of a Successful Life
Discover OUR SPEAKING AND HOW WE HAVE EMPOWERED THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE ACROSS THE WORLD
Dating Relationships Love Romance Singles Dating advice Dating tips Long-term relationships Serious relationships Communication Emotional intelligence
Stop Guessing: 3 Proven Signs She's Right For You.Are you wondering if she's "the one"? In this episode, I share the first 3 things I looked for in my wife, Emma, to know she was right for me. These aren't just abstract ideas, but practical steps based on my own experience. Let's dive in!
#1: Same Faith FoundationFaith is central to everything.
Explain how a differing faith would create significant challenges.
“Missionary dating" and why it rarely works.
“I can change her” is a dangerous mindset.
#2: Shared ValuesBeyond religion, core values are crucial.
You need to be in alignment on important areas like: Physical health, Family values, Views on travel and relocation, etc…
If you’d like a potential future series on identifying personal values, let me know in the comments below
#3: Trustworthy Friends and Mentors ApproveThe importance of external perspectives.
Oxytocin and the love goggles approve.
Trusted friends and mentors can offer objective insights.
Bonus: Chemistry Outside of Romance"Do you get along in real life?"
Seek settings outside of romantic dinners.
Activities like: Serving the community, working together on a project.
This reveals true character and consistency over time.
"If you want more resources to help you succeed in the areas that really matter, go to thrivingman.com."
Relationships, dating, finding the right woman, marriage, faith, values, trust, compatibility, love, christian dating.
Have you ever felt like you're trapped in a relationship where you're constantly walking on eggshells? Where 'love' feels more like a hostage situation? Today, we're exposing the hidden traps, the subtle signs that the woman you're with might be toxic.
The Siren Myth:
Creatures luring sailors to their doom.
1 - The Cling Factor
"Velcro Love: When 'Need' Turns into a Noose."
Extreme dependency: Constant calls, inability to make decisions, emotional meltdowns.
Initial appeal vs. long-term burden.
Have you experienced this? Share your stories in the comments.
2 - The Isolation Game
When Your World Shrinks to Just Her.
Systematic isolation from friends and family.
"Divide and conquer" brainwashing tactic.
Dangerous phrases: "They don't understand you," "I'm your only friend," "Why do you need to see them?"
3 - The Compliment Cage
Mandatory compliments and validation.
The "friend guy" dynamic.
Constant approval seeking.
"Walking on eggshells" and "honesty vs. peace."
Importance of honest communication.
4 - The Time Imbalance
The One-Way Street: When Her Time Is Gold, Yours Is Pennies.
Unequal availability and expectations.
Control through the "want and need" dynamic.
Respect for time on both sides.
5 - The Outside Perspective
When Friends and Family See What You Can't
Emotional investment vs. objective observation.
Importance of trusting your support system.
Don't ignore the warnings. Your family and friends are most often trying to help.
You deserve a healthy, fulfilling relationship. Don't settle for less.
Don’t let insecurities dictate your relationships.
Build a thriving life to avoid toxic relationships.
Visit ThrivingMan.com for support.
On today’s show we are are helping you identify unhealthy relationship dynamics and red flags. We do want a woman who is into us, but it can cross a line in a weird way and set up some bad relational issues.
She Wants You to Complete Her
There is a danger when a woman expects you to fulfill her emotional voids.
If she wants you to be the one to ‘complete her’ ‘fix her’…RUN!
This attitude has short-term appeal but brings long-term damage.
She Treats Other People Like Trash
How does she treat those closest to her?
How does she treat service workers?
She Plays the Victim
Do you see her showing a pattern of shifting blame?
If nothing is ever her fault in life, that means nothing in your relationship will ever be her fault. This means it will be your fault. She will blame you.
She Wants as Her Only Friend
She is jealous of all your other friendships
She is always controlling your full schedule
If she wants to be your everything, then you’re just her toy
Share this with a person you think it could help. (or is with a girl like that right now. Maybe they will get the hint.)
If you want more resources to help you succeed in the areas that really matter, go to thrivingman.com.
In this episode, we explore the biblical basis for men leading spiritually in their homes. We focus on servant leadership and the importance of men taking responsibility within the family.
What does it mean to be the spiritual leader of our homes as men? Many men today struggle with understanding and fulfilling this role.
The truth is God designed men for spiritual leadership, and we'll explore what that looks like.
Understanding God's Design
- Genesis & Creation
- Distinct Roles
- Biblical Foundation
Jesus' Example: Servant Leadership
- The husband's role
- Jesus as the Model: Jesus is the ultimate example of servant leadership.
- Sacrifice & Love: His sacrifice and love as the model for husbands.
Battles as a Spiritual Leader
- Personal Spiritual Growth Men must prioritize their relationship with God.
- Leading Family Growth
Characteristics of a Spiritual Leader
- Confidence & Humility
- Empowering Others
- Community Focus
Many men don’t lead because they aren’t taking up spiritual leadership.
Spiritual leadership is the foundation of all other areas of a man's life.
Challenge: Now is your time to become a spiritual leader!
Start today! Take the first step towards becoming the spiritual leader God designed you to be.
RESOURCES TO HELP YOU THRIVE AS A MAN
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Thriving Man Coaching Resources
4D MODEL FREE PDF
- Learn about the 4 fundamentals of a Successful Life
Discover OUR SPEAKING AND HOW WE HAVE EMPOWERED THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE ACROSS THE WORLD
We live in a world bombarded by unrealistic portrayals of relationships, often fueled by rom-coms, influencers, and reality TV. These portrayals can create unhealthy expectations, leading to disappointment and relationship struggles. Today, we're diving into these unrealistic expectations and how to shift to a healthier, God-centered perspective.
The "Fixer-Upper" Fallacy: The idea that a woman will magically solve all your problems is a dangerous myth. She's a person with her own needs, dreams, and struggles, not a solution to your life's issues.
Happiness is an Inside Job: While a relationship can bring joy, a woman is not responsible for your happiness or entertainment. True happiness stems from within and is rooted in our relationship with God. The honeymoon phase is temporary; real life requires more.
The Myth of "Easy Street": A relationship, even a great one, doesn't automatically make life easy. It requires effort, communication, and a willingness to work through challenges together.
The Call to Die to Self: Marriage, as a sacred covenant before God, involves dying to our selfish desires and putting our spouse's needs before our own. It's a call to sacrifice, not a free pass to a life of ease.
Beyond Romantic Love: A woman cannot fulfill all your relational needs. Men need strong friendships, mentors, and above all, a deep connection with God. We address the common scenario of guys who abandon their friends once they enter a relationship.
The God Factor: A healthy relationship starts with a healthy individual. When our identity and fulfillment are rooted in God, we can approach relationships with realistic expectations and give our wives the love and support they deserve.
No One is Perfect: Remember, no one, including the "best" woman, is perfect. She is a partner, not a savior. Expecting perfection sets the relationship up for failure.
The Power of Healthy Expectations: Entering a relationship with realistic and God-centered expectations is crucial for its success. It allows for grace, understanding, and genuine connection.
Key Takeaway: When you have God as your foundation, you can approach relationships with healthy expectations, leading to stronger, more fulfilling partnerships.
Share this episode with someone who could benefit from it!
For more resources to help you succeed in the areas that truly matter, visit thrivingman.com.
A thriving marriage requires active effort. This episode explores practical ways husbands can rekindle the flames of love and connection with their wives.
I. Spiritual Foundation:
- Praying for Her
- Living It
II. Nurturing Emotional Connection:
- Speak Life
- Understanding Her Love Language
- Honoring Her
III. Physical Intimacy Beyond the Bedroom:
- The Power of Non-Sexual Touch
Key Takeaway: Rekindling the marriage fire requires intentional effort, prayerful support, and a commitment to understanding and appreciating your wife. It's about building a strong foundation of love, respect, and consistent affection, both physical and emotional.
RESOURCES TO HELP YOU THRIVE AS A MAN
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Thriving Man Coaching Resources
4D MODEL FREE PDF
- Learn about the 4 fundamentals of a Successful Life
Discover OUR SPEAKING AND HOW WE HAVE EMPOWERED THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE ACROSS THE WORLD
What to do if you’re afraid of asking a girl out.Fear of asking a girl out is a universal feeling for men everywhere. You can't expect not to feel fear, but you can do some things to increase your confidence. When you do this you will have the courage to move ahead in spite of your fear.
God designed men to lead women- that means we need to take the first step- even when we are scared. Here are a few tips to help you when you want to ask a woman out.
Make a basic outline.* Know what you like about her so you can say that in a natural way * Know what you want to ask: number, or date. * Keep it simple and direct.
Don’t ruminate, act. * Don’t overthink it or you will be planning your wedding before you even ask her out! * Keep your plan simple and act on it
There is a Respawn* There are billions of women in the world. * This one person isn’t the only person. * There only needs to be one right person.
If you enjoyed this video, share it with a friend you think it could help.
If you want more resources to help you succeed in the areas that really matter, go to thrivingman.com.
How do you find the right woman for you? This is a question many men struggle with. However, they often focus on the outside stuff instead of the inside stuff.
To find the right woman, we have to start by understanding a few key things that we will talk about in today's video.
Understand the purpose of dating - Dating isn’t an end to itself
- It is a means to an end - Relationships and ultimately marriage
Be the Real You - If you aren’t authentic, how can you attract an authentic woman?
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This means you have to work to grow who you are as a man
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What is your worldview? What things do you like and not like?
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Too many guys are always changing who they are for a woman and never figure it out
Have a meaningful purpose in life - What are you living for? What are you doing to make a difference in the world
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Serving self is lonely and boring
-
Men of purpose are more attractive and find women of similar purpose
Watch and Enjoy!
David & Reese Maxwell
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Thriving Man Coaching Resources:
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https://www.thrivingman.com/the-4d-model
FIND OUT ABOUT OUR SPEAKING AND HOW WE HAVE EMPOWERED THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE ACROSS THE WORLD
https://www.thrivingman.com/speaking
Sorry for the mix-up when this episode was originally released! Here is the right version.
Don’t be afraid of women Putting yourself out there regarding relationships with women can be intimidating. It always has been but it doesn't have to be. As men, we want to fight against the fear that leads us to the two extremes of relationships many men deal with.
Avoidance* Don’t avoid the girl you like. * You need to know the person and know you like them, not just the idea of them. * The only way to get out of your mind is to get into reality. * Avoiding causes us to give a weird energy to our approach as well.
Obsession. * Don’t follow them around like a weirdo. * Don’t spend too much time in your mind. Things get blown out of proportion there. * Don’t invest so much mentally that by the time you finally talk to the person, you’re thinking about what you’ll name your children * Obsession gives you a bad filter for reality too
Share this episode with a person you think it could help.
If you want more resources to help you succeed in the areas that matter, go to thrivingman.com.
Why Men Should Lead in RelationshipsToday we are unveiling a new process for the podcasts. We are switching to shorter segments that are more focused. We made the change after getting feedback about what works best for many of the men in the audience.
David and Reese will each do a show for around 8-10 minutes each week. They will be focused and easy to connect with on a busy schedule.
We are starting by focusing on relationships.
Men should be the leaders in their relationships with women. David discusses why and the most important parts of it on today's show.
Leadership Starts with self-leadershipServant leadership is the greatest form of leadershipShow Up EscapismFor more help thriving as a man go to Thriving Man
Today’s show talks about the power of community in our lives. Many men are struggling in life because they don’t have a community of like-minded men who are there to challenge them and help them. We discuss why we need other men in our lives and some community options you have today.
Communities can help us overcome challenges, achieve our goals, and celebrate our successes with us.
The Power of Community: Why You Need ItThe Lone Wolf SyndromeThe lone wolf syndrome of men and why we often try to live as lone wolves.
There aren’t many places for like-minded men to get better.
Where do you go to find men who want to connect and grow?
The Pitfalls of Solo Life The challenges of trying to achieve goals alone.
“Networking” - men who use relationships for their own goals
The Power of Community: A supportive community can provide motivation, accountability, and encouragement.
Being connected with other men makes the good parts of life better
Life is often better doing it with others
There is a negative version of the community we have to be careful not to get into: unhealthy habits, etc…
The Thriving Man Community: Your 21-Day TribeThe Benefits of Joining
The Importance of Accountability
Celebrating Success
The Power of Public Commitment
The Importance of Regular Check-Ins
The Value of Mutual Support
CHALLENGE:Quit trying to improve all by yourself
Don’t be a lone wolf, most wolves are in packs, there is a reason
Join the 21-day challenge
www.21dayturnaround.com
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Welcome to the Thriving Man Podcast, where we help you build a thriving life and conquer your everyday chaos.
Today, we're diving into the 21-Day Core 4 Challenge, a practical way to jumpstart your personal growth and create lasting change by making the core four areas of your life regular habits.
The key to living what you value is to systemize the core areas of your life. We discuss what that looks like as we discuss the motivation behind the 21-Day Turnaround.
Why the 21-Day Turnaround Challenge?This challenge is about aligning your daily habits with your core values. As Benjamin Franklin said, "A goal without a system is just a dream." Our brains need to know not only the what but also the how. That's where systemization comes in.
Systemizing the Core 4The Core 4: A Blueprint for a Life Well-Lived
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Spiritual Health: The Power of Daily Scripture Reading or Listening
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We challenge men to read through a Proverb every day.
-
Physical Health: 30 Minutes of Exercise
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We all need to move and devote 30 minutes each day to movement because it is important for our overall health
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We discuss the high bar, and low bar principle and how physical health benefits our lives.
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Mental Health: Sharing Gratitude with Others
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The importance of our focus and finding the good in our life.
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Gratitude is key to cultivating a positive mindset.
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Emotional Health: Intentional Encouragement
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The key to how we talk to people in relationships and how we should focus on the most important relationships in our lives.
- Bringing intentionality to relationships benefits us in many ways.
The Power of Consistency* We discuss common challenges to this system, such as not involving others and not having set times and ways to do your habits. * We'll explain the importance of consistency and how it leads to big returns. "How you spend your day is how you spend your life." We'll also share stories of people who have successfully changed their lives.
Sign up using the link below and join the Thriving Man Facebook group. Invite a friend to do it with you. It's better together!
www.21dayturnaround.comRESOURCES TO HELP YOU THRIVE AS A MAN
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- Learn about the 4 fundamentals of a Successful Life
Discover OUR SPEAKING AND HOW WE HAVE EMPOWERED THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE ACROSS THE WORLD
Helping you Build a Thriving Life and Conquer Your Everyday Chaos
This week, Reese and David share stories about their journeys of self-discovery, realizing that true success comes from within. Their focus this week is how personal growth is essential for a fulfilling life. They preview the four core areas of personal development and how inner work can lead to a practical strategy for building a better you.
Inside Out: The Common Denominator in every area of life is You
The Myth of Outward Success
- Chasing external validation and achievements often leads to emptiness. The show discusses the importance of shifting your focus inward.
The Power of Inner Work
- Inner work is the process of self-reflection and growth. It's about understanding your values, motivations, and what truly matters.
The Core 4: The Building Blocks of a Fulfilling Life
- The show introduces the four key areas of personal growth essential for a fulfilling life: spiritual, physical, mental, and emotional health.
Spiritual Health
- They discuss the importance of spiritual health, defining it, and offering practical tips for nurturing it.
Physical Health
- The importance of physical health is covered, along with its definition and practical ways to improve it.
Mental Health
- They delve into mental health, and its significance, and provide suggestions for strengthening it.
Emotional Health
- The episode explores the concept of emotional health, and its definition, and offers practical tips to cultivate it.
Call to Action: The 21-Day Turnaround
A jumpstart program is introduced to build key habits in the four core areas. The program includes:
- Physical: At least 30 minutes of daily exercise.
- Spiritual: Daily reading of Proverbs for reflection.
- Mental: Posting something you're grateful for in the Thriving Man Facebook group.
- Emotional: Intentionally encouraging someone each day.
The program is designed to take less than an hour a day and emphasizes consistency. If you miss a day, simply restart. The key takeaway is that growth is a journey, and every man's greatest battle is internal.
21dayturnaround.com
In this episode, we'll discuss how false promises can damage our self-respect and personal growth, and how the 21-day turnaround can change the narrative. We'll also explore the importance of self-trust and practical strategies for building positive habits.
Today's episode will cover:
- The impact of broken promises on self-esteem, motivation, and anxiety
- How repeatedly breaking promises can lead to a cycle of self-doubt and procrastination
- The 21-Day Turnaround: a jumpstart to progress and self-respect
- The power of small steps and building positive habits
- Practical tips for staying motivated and overcoming challenges
The Cost of False Promises
- How breaking promises to ourselves can negatively impact our self-esteem, and motivation, and increase anxiety.
- Creates a Cycle of Failure: We explain how repeatedly breaking promises can lead to a vicious cycle of self-doubt and procrastination. The momentum of negativity can be strong, but we must focus on consistently doing what truly matters.
The 21-Day Turnaround: A Jumpstart to Progress and Self-Respect
- What it is: The 21-Day Turnaround is a program designed to help you build key habits in the four most important areas of your life: spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical.
Building key habits:
- Physical: Aim for at least 30 minutes of exercise most days of the week.
- Spiritual: Start your day with the Proverb’s chapter of the day.
- Mental: Post something you're grateful for in the Thriving Man Facebook group.
- Emotional: Make a point to encourage at least one person each day.
- It can be done in under an hour a day.
- If you miss a day, you have to start over from the beginning
- The key is to focus on growth.
- Every man's greatest battle is always within himself. We'll discuss the significance of these core four areas in more detail next week.
The Power of Small Steps
- We explain the benefits of breaking down large goals into smaller, more manageable tasks. This makes them more achievable and valuable.
- Everyone starts small and then increases; like training for a triathlon by gradually increasing the distance each week.
Building Positive Habits
- We highlight the importance of focusing on a few habits at a time and gradually building momentum. Focus and simplify!
- Do each chosen habit every day to build consistency.
Overcoming Obstacles
- We provide practical tips for staying motivated and overcoming challenges.
- Reframe challenges as opportunities for growth.
- "Failure is only the opportunity to begin again. Only this time, more wisely." - Uncle Iroh (from Avatar: The Last Airbender)
- Overcoming obstacles is an individual journey but we all need support. The Thriving Man Facebook Group is a great resource for support and encouragement.
Challenge
- Start the 21-Day Turnaround Program today! This free program can help you achieve your goals and live a more fulfilling life. It's short, accessible, and impactful.
- Visit our website at www.21dayturnaround.com for more information.
- Join the Thriving Man Facebook Group
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Thriving Man Coaching Resources
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In this episode, we discuss the importance of the relationships between men and women. We talk about how focusing on one woman, being a student of her, and going on a journey of discovery together can lead to a more fulfilling relationship.
Main Points
Focus on one woman: Don't try to understand all women. Instead, focus on understanding the woman in your life. This will help you build a stronger relationship with her.
Be a student of your woman: This means taking the time to get to know her for who she is as an individual. Pay attention to her likes, dislikes, and dreams.
Relationships are a journey: Don't see your relationship as a destination. It's an adventure that you and your partner will embark on together. There will be ups and downs, but if you focus on learning from each other and growing together, your relationship will thrive.
Outline
Why understanding women is the wrong approach
- All women are different
- Focus on understanding your wife/girlfriend
Keys to take relationships to the next level
Focus - avoid Tinder culture and distractions
- Married men: focus on your wife
- Single men: focus on getting to know the real woman
Study - become a student of your woman
- Dating: get to know her for who she is
- Marriage: continue to learn and grow together
- Keep notes on her preferences
Journey - relationships are an adventure
- Open world vs linear world in gaming
- Discover each other's individuality
- Face challenges and celebrations together
Challenge
Dating: what is your goal? Win the girl or get to know her?
Married: get curious, ask questions, take notes, be intentional
Call to Action
Build intentional time to be curious and grow your relationship
Download the Love Nudge app with your wife
I hope these show notes are helpful! Let us know if you have any questions.
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Learn about the 4 fundamentals of a Successful Life
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Learn how to navigate the holiday season with grace and gratitude. Discover practical tips for managing stress, coping with negative emotions, and cultivating a positive mindset.
In this episode, we dive into:
Developing strategies: For maintaining gratitude during challenging moments.
The Power of Gratitude: A powerful tool for managing stress and improving mental health.
Practical Tips for a Grateful Mindset: Learn actionable strategies for shifting your perspective and cultivating a more positive outlook.
Key Takeaways:
Shift your attention* Make a list of what you're thankful for and have it readily accessible
Do something physical* Engage in physical activity: Work out, exercise, clean, etc.
Go to a peaceful setting=* Take a short walk outside (10-20 minutes)." * "If needed, take a break in a private space (e.g., the bathroom)."
Process the negative feelingsProcess negative feelings through journaling: Write a 'psalm' expressing negative emotions, followed by a shift to positive ones. This can be done as a prayer or reflection.
CHALLENGE:* Create a personalized gratitude list and refer to it whenever you need a mental boost. * By implementing these strategies, you can navigate the holiday season with greater ease and emerge feeling refreshed and rejuvenated.
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Learn about the four fundamentals of a successful life. Discover how our speaking engagements have empowered thousands of people across the world
Christmas, gratitude, mental health, stress management, self-care, holiday stress, positive mindset, mindfulness
Learn how to incorporate gratitude into your daily life. Discover practical methods, frequencies, and settings to foster a heart of thankfulness.
Are you truly living a life of gratitude, or simply saying you're grateful? While gratitude is a noble attitude, it can often take a backseat to the hustle and bustle of daily life. Let's explore how to intentionally cultivate gratitude through daily rhythms.
Building Your Gratitude Rhythms
To truly embrace gratitude, we must actively choose it. This involves incorporating specific methods, frequencies, and settings into our lives:
3 Methods (How):
- Remembering: Consciously recall moments of thankfulness throughout your day.
- Resting: Pause and appreciate the present moment, free from distractions.
- Connecting: Spend quality time with loved ones, fostering deeper relationships.
3 Frequencies (How Often):
- Daily: Incorporate daily practices like journaling, highlighting a daily positive, or sharing gratitude at the dinner table.
- Weekly: Dedicate time for Sabbath rest and reflection.
- Seasonally: Celebrate holidays and traditions with family and friends, emphasizing gratitude.
3 Settings (Who's Involved):
- Personal: Cultivate individual gratitude practices.
- Family/Friends: Share gratitude experiences with loved ones.
- Church: Participate in corporate worship and community-based gratitude initiatives.
Your Challenge:
Choose one method, frequency, and setting to start building your personal gratitude rhythm.
Ready to Thrive?
Explore additional resources to empower your journey:
gratitude, thankfulness, mindfulness, well-being, positive psychology, personal growth, spiritual growth
Thriving Man Coaching Resources
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Learn about the 4 fundamentals of a Successful Life
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By implementing these strategies, you can transform your life into one of genuine gratitude and fulfillment.
========================
Being present is easy to say but hard to implement. As men, we love to solve problems and get things done. This often causes us to be somewhere else in our heads when we are with people, which can damage our relationships and our work abilities. If we are somewhere else in our brains, we will often miss things in the moment.
Being present is a skill we can practice and improve. It’s not something that is only for those who have that ability. We can all practice it and improve at it.
When we become more present, we can have better relationships and be more successful in all our endeavors.
Process Your Past* The past is a reality in our lives * Good or bad, we must deal with events of our past or they will affect the present * No matter the past that happened to us, we can’t let it affect the present in a negative way * Bad past events - we relive or live out in an unhealthy response * Good past events - We live in the past and don’t recognize today * We must learn how to process our past and then live in today
Focus on the Now* Living today takes focus and work * We have to decide to live in the present * Be still and know that I am God * This is a reality many don’t get cause they don’t slow down to let God speak to them
Aim Towards The Future* We miss the present when we are so focused on the future * Goals and growth are great and you should pursue them, but their purpose is to align our present * We should not be so focused on the future that we sacrifice the present * The habits of our lives in the present should feed the goals of the future * Goals are there to motivate our present decisions
CHALLENGE:* Knowing your values helps you live in the present * Get our free Values Start-up Kit to help you begin your journey of thriving
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We had a mix-up on the first release, here is the right version.
Gratitude is something people talk about, but putting it into practice is difficult. Plus, many people talk about it in a “touchy-feely” way, which throws us off as men. The reality of gratitude is something we need in our lives if we want to thrive.
In this week’s show, we discuss gratitude, what it is, and some of the pitfalls that keep us from developing a grateful attitude in our lives.
Gratitude is cultivating an awareness of reality* Psalm 104 God sustains all aspects of creation * We get used to things and expect them to stay the same * Gratitude is a mentality that comes with practice - new neuro pathways in the brain * Gratitude is a choice of where we put our mind
Pitfalls that Hinder Our Awareness of RealityEntitlement
- When things are going good, we get used to it, and when things go bad, we notice it.
- Things “should be good” God Owes Me
- Biblical view: the only reason the world doesn’t fall apart right now is because God is holding back the chaos.
- The natural setting of this world isn’t life, but death. But God gives life.
Victim mentality
- James Clear Quote on Focus
- "If you look for evidence that people are conspiring to hold you back and the world is working against you, then it will take you no time at all to find precisely that. If you expect to encounter helpful people and experience a world that is working with you, then you find plenty of evidence to support that view as well. The raw material for a sweet life or a bitter life is always there. The story you emphasize is the one you notice."
- Writer and Nobel Prize winner Gabriel García Márquez on what matters in life:
- "What matters in life is not what happens to you but what you remember and how you remember it."
CHALLENGE:* At the end of each day, think about one thing you are grateful for
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What motivates you in life? What helps you have the energy and perseverance each day to keep going?
We all have different motivations. Some are selfish, and some are altruistic, but they often come down to our values. What we value will ultimately motivate us in our lives.
We want to do the work to recognize our values so we can focus on them and let them empower us to live a thriving life.
On today’s show, we discuss how values direct our lives and keep us from getting distracted or off course.
Values Keep Us Connected to Our Purpose* Values are like a bridge between the wisdom of God and our everyday lives * Values give a specificity to eternal principles and allow you to connect with them. * Jim Dobson “I believe it [the midlife crisis] is more a phenomenon of a wrong value system than it is the age group in which it occurs. All of a sudden you realize that the ladder you've been climbing is leaning against the wrong wall.”
Values are a Great Filter* Values inform your decisions and responses to life. * If you do not choose, someone else will choose for you. * “Your values are tested daily by those who do not embrace them.” John Maxwell
Values help you keep score* Values force you to face reality every day: the difference between how you want to live and how you are living. * You have to discover what’s important to you if you want to make progress. * Your value score isn’t about the outcome of the day, but the input of that day. * It’s not about how the day went, it’s about how you went through the day. * It empowers you because it’s not about what’s outside your control, but what is in your control.
CHALLENGE:Get your free Values Starter Kit
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What good are values? How do they help us in the everyday chaos of life?
That is what we are talking about on the show today. We will discuss how values are essential for us as we navigate life. Just like a compass helps sailors arrive at their destination, values guide us to live empowered lives. This means each day can be rich and full of meaning no matter what you do for a job or how many tasks you have to accomplish.
Values Help Us Live Focused in the Chaos of Life* Values can act as a compass and bring focus amidst the chaos. * Values give us direction on what action to take. * Values help us cut out the unnecessary or unimportant in our lives.
Values are an Antidote to Aimlessness* Without values, we aren’t aiming our lives in any specific direction * Values force us to choose. * If we don’t choose a direction for our lives, someone or something else will choose for us. * The current of life draws us towards the easy and the urgent. The easy and the urgent are rarely the important. * Not choosing is a choice.
Values are an Antidote to Overwhelm* A million different voices are screaming at us that we NEED to do their thing. (Buy their product, take their course, follow their advice, etc.) * There is a dangerous assumption in our world that we can do everything. * You CANNOT do it all. “Teach us to number our days, that we might gain a heart of wisdom.”(Psalm 90:12) * We don’t need to do everything. We just need to do the right things * The difference between a light and a laser is the focus. * The difference between surviving and thriving is the focus.
CHALLENGE:* The Values Starter Kit
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Samwise Gamgee was an iconic character in the Lord of the Rings series. He was an everyday gardener who was put into some unbelievable situations. The amazing thing about Sam was that he didn’t let the good or bad situations change him. He had a strong identity and stuck to it no matter the situation.
Many men today are facing an identity crisis. This is due to their lack of foundational values. When a man has strong values, he will often have a strong identity. He can stand up in hard situations and is less likely to back down in the pressure cooker of life.
Today’s show discusses how our values help shape our identity.
The Current Identity Crisis among Men“You have to be great and world-changing!”
All the unrealistic men on TV and social media.
Who am I? Do I need to be like them?
How we often look to accomplishments to validate ourselves.
Values Help Connect Our Current Identity and Future IdealsThey help you become more confident in who you are
They give you a pathway on how you should live
Values Help Us Focus and Keep Moving During Hard TimesValues guide us and keep us focused on what we can control
Values are meant to guide your personal behavior, not define your circumstances.
Values guide how we live more than how we feel, where we are at in life, or how others respond.
CHALLENGE:Download and go through the Values Starter Kit PDF at www.thrivingman.com
Core strength often involves our abs and whether we are exercising. However, we want to discuss a different type of core strength in this week’s show: Inner Core Strength.
This has nothing to do with abs but has everything to do with your Values. When a man has values and seeks to live by them, he is stronger in every area of his life. When a man ignores his values, he will live a weak life of following others. Join us as we focus on values and why they are so important to men today.
Society has a lot of weak menWeak men lack purpose and wander through their lives
Weak men selfishly focus on themselves
A weak man’s world is easily wrecked by circumstances
Weak men will often seek escape from hard choices
The AnswerThe answer isn’t just to try harder
The answer is to build your core strength
Core strength in men is their values
Values = Core Principles that Guide Our LivesSome values are universal and some are personal
Lack of Values Makes Men FollowersThey will become slaves to other people’s opinions and their appetites
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As men, we tend to go to extremes in different areas of our lives. This can be a good thing when applied appropriately, but many of us struggle with different types of extremism in our everyday lives.
On today’s show, we discuss some of the common extremisms many guys struggle with. These are simple attitudes that can hurt us as we try to build a thriving life.
We also give a simple attitude adjustment near the end of the show to help you fight against extremism in your life.
If You Can’t Do Something Right, Don’t Do It at All!Many men use this to justify not trying
This attitude can ignore the learning process
Go Big or Go Home!This attitude is seen in the blaze of glory mentality
We focus on going big in every area of our lives
The problem is we often look at regular everyday life as not “enough”
We use this attitude to justify sacrificing the important areas of our lives to reach a “pinnacle” of success
You Have to Give Everything You’ve Got!There are certain areas this attitude applies, but it can’t be in every area
Some men use this attitude to brag about the grind so they feel better about themselves
In the end, we often pick the wrong area to give everything we’ve got and ignore the important areas of our lives: Relationships, health, growth, financial wisdom
The Truth of Success is Found in the Small Daily DecisionsMomentum is what builds lasting success and we build momentum with small daily decisions
We want to build the daily habits of success that will give us a solid foundation for success
Once we build the habits, they become ingrained into our lives and a part of who we are as men
CHALLENGE:What are your top habits that pour into your long-term success?
What habits are you building that you can carry on your journey?
Your legacy is how you lived your life, not the reputation that follows you after you die
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Discouragement is easy to fall into in our society today. With the rise of social media and worldwide connectedness, we often find examples of guys who do things better than us. This means we have to fight against it actively. If we aren’t careful, we can fall into a place of discouragement where we stay busy but don’t live purposefully.
On today’s show, we discuss the cycles of discouragement and why we get to this place. As we recognize the mindset, we can begin to fight against it.
The Suck CycleMany men get to a place of frustration and declare, “I’m going to CHANGE!”
Then they come up with some crazy plan which often ends in failure
This puts them right back to the start but with more frustration
They eventually develop a lack of belief in their ability to change
Everything’s PersonalOur discouragement grows when we take everything in a hyper-personal way
“I’m fat because I’m a failure” “I’m poor because I’m lazy”
There is a place for taking personal responsibility, but does everything have to be personal?
We have to learn to separate who we are as men from what we do as men
Dealing with FailureOur sense of failure often derives from our Unrealistic expectations
We battle this by learning to approach setbacks differently
Defining the problem
Trading condemnation for curiosity: Curiosity asks, “Why I fail?”; Condemnation assumes it’s all our fault
Get help
CHALLENGE:Quit trying to fix multiple things to get better in
Pick one thing to get better at and focus your energy on that
Get curious about past failures and seek to learn from them instead of ignoring them
Quit trying to lone-wolf fix things in your life
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The lone wolf man is a persona that isn’t real. When you look at most movies about lone wolf men, they have a pretty sad life. Sure, they could kill people and win the day, but at what cost? There is also the reality that none of them became great warriors alone. The movies will often show a backstory where they had a guide train them for their adventures.
Too many men think they have to battle everything in their lives alone. They see it as a sign of weakness to ask for help. We want to show how this attitude hurts us and how we can overcome it and build strong resilient lives.
Why the Lone Wolf Appeals to MenPride
We idolize heroes of the past
The quest for glory and other people’s respect
How the Lone Wolf Hurts MenWe get weird by ourselves
We try to do too much
We get an attitude of everyone against me
We don’t trust
Our capacity won’t grow, by ourselves
Others can call us higher and push us
Overcoming the Lone Wolf MentalityServe Others
Avoid building a Loner Life
Seek to have real relationships and not just virtual ones
CHALLENGE:Quit buying the lie of doing it by yourself!
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On today’s show, we are talking about the reality of fatherlessness. Many men grew up without a father in the home, in a stepdad situation, or in a bad example of a father to follow. The men who grew up like this often don’t realize what they are missing because it wasn’t there.
We discuss the reality of fatherlessness and how it affects men, their families, and society. This discussion can help men discover what they can do to build up the barren areas of their lives that fatherlessness causes.
The RealityMany men grew up without a dad
This isn’t an excuse it’s a reality
2 extremes have come out of these “distortions”
The effemination of men
The extreme Alpha male
This reality has hurt families and society
Recognize Your NeedRecognition is the 1st step
Too many men think it didn’t bother them but they have nothing to compare it to
Pursue Timeless WisdomFight the common male appetites that drive so many men today
Don’t follow fads
Build your core values as a man
Develop a strong positive worldview
Connect with BrothersWe all need to be a part of a team in our lives
Look for men who have the same values as you and build friendships with them
”Defense wins championships,” is a saying we often hear in football, but what about life? Should we live on defense or should we have an effective defense?
Today’s show discusses defense and how there is a good side and a bad side to defense. As men, we should have a good defense but not live on defense. Society encourages men to live on defense today and too many are doing it.
Let’s dive into what it means by looking at an Active Defense vs a Passive Defense.
Active Defense* Intentional * Guard your hearty * Healthy living and choices * Know your strengths and weaknesses * Protect Priorities and Values * Protect Relationships
Passive Defense* Path of least resistance * Passenger seat of life * Escapism * Survivor Mode * Lack of Priorities
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We used to love watching "Extreme Home Makeover" as a family on Sunday nights. It was incredible to see a house transformed or built in just a week. Imagine if change in our own lives could happen that quickly!
But the truth is, it doesn't work that way. Even those shows don’t show the countless hours of preparation and the many people involved in the process. If we want to see real transformation in our lives, we need certain key elements. That’s what we’re discussing in today’s show. So, “Move that Bus!” and tune in!
Life Transformation Takes Desire* People who excel in things are passionate about it * If you want to change your life, you have to want to do it * You have to have a desire and a motivation to make it happen * The desire has to move past momentary feelings * We have to find our way and internalize our desire or our transformation will be short-lived or won’t even start
Life Transformation Takes Work* If we want to see change in our lives it will take work on our part * We can learn things from people but we still have to do the work * This means we will often crawl before we walk * Not everything comes easy * Get rid of the expectation to be instantly good at something and decide to go on the journey
Life Transformation Takes Time* Transformation is a life-long process and we are never done * There isn’t a finish line in life * Retirement isn’t a finish line * There is always something for you to grow and transform in * When you decide that you are on a journey, you can relax and enjoy it
CHALLENGE:* What is an area you need to do transformative work in? Physical, Mental, Emotional, Spiritual? * What is the first step you need to take? * Take it then take the second step and so forth * Start the journey and plan to stay in it for the long haul
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The inward journey is often one of the last adventures men will go on. For some reason, we find it easier to take on the world than we do to take on ourselves. The danger for us is not going on the inward journey. When we don’t we become men who obey our low-level appetites, this has been obvious throughout history.
We must build our inner character as men or we will allow outside influences to control and dominate us. Our strength begins on the inside; to tap into it, we must go on the inward journey.
Defining the Inward Journey* The ability to understand what we think and feel * This takes work=reflection. * It moves us past our animalistic tendencies * Reflection can also help us wrestle with our purpose and our meaning
Why the Inward Journey is Hard* Reason 1: It takes time and effort which is why so many men don’t do it * There aren’t quick wins, but long protracted struggles * We tend as men to think outside things will change us on the inside * Reason 2: It’s not very flattering * Ignorance is bliss. (Procrastination) * Reason 3: It isn’t laid out for us clearly * We like structure. Whether it’s sports, video games, or playing music; we want to know the rules so we can win. * Because every person is different, the inward journey will look different for everyone. Even how we start will vary.
The Key Word is JOURNEY* The inward journey isn’t something you can do in a session * It is a practice you have to make a habit. Think of it as a skill that takes time to build and maintain. * Reflection isn’t something we often feel like we have time to do * Reflection is a learned habit * You are never done but you get to new levels of understanding and openness * This makes your life more meaningful and your relationships deeper
CHALLENGE:* Start doing something to learn how to reflect * A time of prayer each day, reading the daily proverb and then praying over it to see how it applies * Journaling a few times a week - not a diary, but a place to put what is happening in your mind, writing is processing * Get a group of guys together for deep discussions (friends who are connected and want to do the same thing)
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One of the things you notice about great athletes and businessmen is they often take things personally. Whenever Michael Jordan felt disrespected by someone, he would become a beast and dominate. Why was this? Because he took it personally.
We need to learn a lesson from this. Our growth won’t happen unless we internalize it. We have to take it personally if we are going to do something about it. We will talk about how to do that on today’s show.
Changing the FocusWe must change our focus on ourselves and quit worrying about others and what they do.
There are many ways to achieve a goal. But which one is YOUR way?
There are many things people value, but what are YOUR values?
Knowledge is Useless Unless AppliedWe have to make sure we don’t become collectors of ideas who never implement those ideas
We won’t grow if we don’t apply the things we learn into our lives
Personal Growth Relieves Pressure of ComparisonThe pressure to be everything to everyone is something many men deal with
When you aren’t growing, you start many things but never finish because you aren’t making them personal
When you are picking and growing in something, you can focus and not get distracted by other things
Seasonal growth makes growth sustainable for the long-term
CHALLENGE:Pick an application and do it this week for something you already know you want/need to do. What is one area you know you need to grow in but you haven’t done it yet?
Exercise, nutrition, reading, sleeping, mobility work, praying, bible reading, etc….
Pick one and for the next 7 days apply it each day
This helps you start to internalize and make growth personal
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Have you ever had something you wore that fit perfectly? That feeling is like no other. You are confident and you feel great every time you wear it. Why is that? Because it fits you perfectly. When you get clothes that are tailor-made or feel like it, you feel incredible.
The same thing happens with our minds. When we build a mindset that fits us, we feel more confident and can positively move through life no matter the circumstances.
This week’s show discusses how to create our own tailored mindset. A mindset that isn’t someone else’s but is ours and we take ownership of it.
Start With Honest Measurements: Evaluate the Life You’re BuildingIs the life you’re living yours or someone else’s?
Be honest about your motivation
Outside success shouldn’t define us
“Success is when those that are closest to you love you and think the most of you.” -John Maxwell
What will I be happy about at 75?
Use Great Materials: Quality InputsWhat do you read, and watch? Who do you follow?
Our input matters
How are you stretching yourself?
Trying new things, pushing yourself in some way
Put the Suit On: Turn Planning into ActionMany men learn stuff but they don’t implement it
We want to practice what we are learning in every area of our lives
Understand that practice helps you get better, but it isn’t perfection
The only way you do something right is to practice
Football teams practice, Golfers practice, Singers practice, etc…
Build a practice mindset in your life
CHALLENGE:Where are you in your life?
Are you creating your life or surviving?
Start by defining what a successful life is
What will you be happy you did at 75?
Then build backwards
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What do kids want in a family? The interesting thing is they are too young to know. They will come up with all kinds of answers that are often hilarious. However, if you dig deep, you find out that kids want parents who are constant, consistent, and calm.
This is the coolest thing you can do for your family. Too many parents today want to be “liked” or focus their whole lives on their kids. This isn’t good because it puts the kids in charge and they become the center of the family. Their mindset will get messed up and they will think they are the center of the universe.
What kids want and what they need are two different things and it's up to you to work to give them what they need instead of what they want. Yep, this means we have to do the work, but we are men and that’s what we do.
Constant* Kids want constant predictable parents * This doesn’t mean boring, but not full of drama * Their life has good routines and the kids are included * They want parents who love them and love each other * This constant love feeds their life * They want parents who act consistent and don’t “change” when the kid’s friends are around or when they get around other adults
Consistent* We should be present at our current age and love life where we are as adults * Own the fact that you are a dad and embrace it * If all you talk about are the “good old days” you are communicating that becoming an adult stinks * Let them know that as they get older they gain wisdom and that is better than being young * This means we may have to do things to work on our lives and fix it * If you need help in areas of your life, get the help, and don’t expect your child to “fix” you or to live through them
Calm* Let them see that you are not living on emotional highs and lows * You should not act like a middle schooler * Help them see the long-term view of life * Be empathetic but also help them see the things you have learned * These stories help them get perspective on where they are at * Tell the stories before they need them so they can remember them * Be the adult. They need your love and empathy, but they don’t need you to jump on the emotional roller coaster with them
CHALLENGE:* Do you need to be more constant, consistent, or calm? * Pick one area to focus on so you can grow and improve as a parent
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What would you consider a successful child? What if your child was a well-known child star making millions of dollars, is that a successful child? Well, if you look at the history of child stars, I would say probably not. Many of those kids get messed up. The problem is often not them but the parents living through them.
As dads, we are responsible for raising successful kids, but how do we define that?
On today’s show, we talk through what real success looks like for our kids and it has nothing to do with money or jobs but has to do with each child having a strong inward foundation.
Security Focuses Success
Success with security is something that kids can enjoy, but it doesn’t control them
Insecure kids (and adults for that matter) “need” success to prove who they are
Security helps success develop positive fruit and not mess a kid up
Success without Security is Destructive
When kids need success, they will always feel insecure even when they have success
They will be willing to change who they are and what they do if they think it will make them more successful and accepted
2 Keys to Building Security
1) Let them be Secure in Your Love
Your love should never be conditional or based upon their behavior
Love is part of discipline and rules
Love speaks life into them and doesn’t manipulate or control them
2) Let them be Secure in Your Support
Support your kids in who they are more than what they do
Give them opportunities and support them in their areas of interest
Don’t live through them or make them love what you love
Communicate that their activities or performances do not earn your love
Your goal is for them to be the best version of themselves
CHALLENGE:How are you building the security of your children?
Are you success-based and teaching them that accomplishments are the purpose of life?
Pick one area to build your kids up in and focus on it
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One of the toughest things to go through for many marriages is when the kids leave the house. Too many couples struggle because the marriage got put on the back burner and the kids were the center of the marriage. Unfortunately for many of these couples divorce happens. Why is that? It is often because the priority of the marriage got lost.
One of the best things we can do as men to have a strong family is to work on our marriage. The marriage is the foundation of the family. When a marriage is healthy and strong, the kids will be more secure and stable. When the marriage is weak, the kids will often suffer for it.
On this week’s show, we talk about the importance of marriage and what we can do to make it stronger. It is one of the best things you can do to be a great father.
Securing the Marriage is Securing the Family* You and your wife are the family * Your kids are a welcome part of the family, but they will leave * Your relationship with your wife is the key to being a good dad * The more secure your relationship is the more secure your children will be
Relationships Never Stop* You must be a dad who constantly pursues the relationship with your wife * Then you pursue the relationship with your kids * Dads are the instigators of relationships * Pursuit isn’t control it is bridge-building * Every man should be a student of his wife and his children * Get to know them as individuals and you can connect with them better
CHALLENGE:* Write out 5 things you can do to start building a better relationship with your wife * Get creative and don’t be lazy
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If you look on TV or in the movies you see that dads are not often presented in the best light. They are often idiots or jerks. They do this because of the reality that dad issues drive many problems in people's lives. This is why being a good dad is so important.
Many men think being a great dad is something that “other” guys do but it is too hard for them. The truth is very different! Every man can be a great dad, but it will take work. Being a great dad doesn’t happen by accident.
Today’s show focuses on the number one decision men can make that helps them be a great dad.
Take Responsibility
Before you can be responsible for others, You need to recognize that you are responsible for yourself.
Your growth isn’t something you can push off on others
You can’t blame a schedule or job
It’s a matter of priorities.
The Core 4
Growing in the 4 fundamentals: Physical, Mental, Emotional, and Spiritual is important
You can’t be lopsided in your lifestyle
Your commitment to your growth is a commitment to your loved ones
Lack of emotional growth = less connection with wife and kids as they get older
Failure Isn’t Final
Even if you’ve blown it, you're still here to overcome
Growth is a matter of direction, not arrival.
Intentions vs Intentionality
Talking doesn’t help, start doing one thing
CHALLENGE:Being a Great Dad takes you committing to be a great man
Quit waiting for perfection and get moving
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We have been traveling a lot this month and thought playing a popular episode again would be good. This episode deals with one of the key ways we avoid the uncomfortable. We escape. Escapism is a way of actively giving up and we help you deal with it in this episode.
When things are hard or uncomfortable many of us give up but in an active way. We don’t quit but focus on other areas of our lives to avoid the hard areas. This happens especially when we feel confused or insecure.
In this episode, we talk about what actively giving up looks like and how we can change our focus to achieve success.
What Actively Giving Up Looks Like:
-Busyness
-Escapism
How to Overcome:
-Truth
-Challenge
What areas of your life are you avoiding?
Pick one area to lean into and start working on.
Don't try to fix every area in your life but focus all your energy on one area at a time.
This will build up endurance for future areas.
Enjoy!
David & Reese Maxwell
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We are nerds in many different ways. One of the big things we do is get into long discussions about anime and movies. We discuss the character arcs and how they develop as people and what they do to show that in the shows. After the movies, we talk through our favorite parts and what made it memorable for us. This makes shows and moves more interesting to us.
The Bible is designed to be something you can dig through your whole life and keep finding amazing things. God gave us the Word so we would dig into it and mine out the truths and wisdom it has for us. When we approach the Bible with the attitude of digging into it, we discover greater truths and develop the way God intended us to.
We should approach the Bible with a sense of wonder, like digging for Gold. Proverbs says to seek wisdom as for silver and gold We are digging for treasure as we dig into the Bible.
Read for the Face Value* Find the obvious truths and lessons the Bible contains. * See how all the books of the bible work together. * The Bible is meant to be read and reread over our entire lives. * The more knowledge of the Bible, the more we can grow in God. * We can’t grow in God without knowing His Word. * Prayer and the Bible go together.
Dig for the Deeper Wisdom* We must understand that there is more for us in the Bible rather than the surface. * The Bible isn’t just for professionals, it's for all of us. * As men who lead, we need wisdom for life and the Bible offers it to us. * Misinterpretations of the Bible often come from people only reading for face value without digging, praying, and understanding the context.
Challenge:* Be patient with yourself as you start the process * Pay attention and look for the deeper truth. * Get study materials to help you along the way * Be willing to reflect and take the time to think about it. * “Knowledge comes quickly, but wisdom grows slowly.”
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Recently I learned a hack for my iPhone that I never knew. It’s one of those things that had probably always been there but I didn’t realize it. Now that I do I use it all the time.
Have you ever had something like that? You use something and then later realize some new aspect to it or something about it you never knew, making it even better for you to use. The Bible is like that. We can casually read the Bible and learn some things but when we look at the intricate ways it fits together and the amazing messages it communicates, it comes alive to us and impacts our lives.
This week on the show we are discussing why God gave us the Bible. We are looking at the main messages that the Bible communicates to us. Once you understand these, the whole Bible will come alive and help you thrive in your life.
The Bible Reveals the Character of God and the Nature of Humanity* Consistently shows how good God is and how messed up we are. * God creating the world shows his generous and creative nature. * God creating man and giving man life and community with the creator. * The Bible shows us how messed up we are. * Throughout history, we see the messed up nature of humanity. * This story is repeated throughout the Bible timeline.
The Bible’s Purpose is to Show Us Jesus* “The Bible is the unified story that leads to Jesus” from The Bible Project. * There were many good people in history before Jesus, but none were perfect. * The Bible shows us why Jesus coming was so important. * He did for us what we couldn’t do for ourselves. * Jesus’ teachings fleshed out the teaching of the OT. * He showed us who God is, he fleshed Him out to us.
The Bible Shows Us that We aren’t the Center of the Universe* Life is not about us, it’s about God. * Our world is messed up because people want to be their own God. * Look how that turns out. * Hedonism (Slave to their appetite) * Nihilism (Bitter against life) * Atrocities against others * People who are the center of their universe often mess up everyone else’s lives.
CHALLENGE:* Continue to read the Proverb of the day and look at it with the lens of “What does this say about God?” * Then ask “What does this say about humanity (me)?”
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Have you ever had a misconception about someone and then when you met them you found it to be wrong? We all have done that at some time or another. Many people are like that when it comes to the Bible.
The Bible is very different from any other book and too many people don’t read it for themselves or try to understand it. They often go off of things they heard or saw in a video but they don’t find out for themselves. This week’s show will dive into some of the common misconceptions people have about the Bible.
The Bible is a Rulebook:* While the Bible does contain guidelines for living a moral and ethical life, it is much more than a rulebook. * It offers wisdom, guidance, and inspiration for navigating the complexities of human existence. * Every law in the Bible is not a copy and paste for our lives today. * The Bible has many narrative stories that teach us truths to apply to our lives
The Bible Should Be a Scientific Book:* The Bible is not a scientific textbook and should not be read as such. * It was written in a pre-scientific era and uses metaphorical language to convey spiritual truths. * The scientific lens is not always the best lens to apply to the Bible because we often have chronological snobbery * God spoke through the worldview of the people of the day * The Bible was not written as a self-help book
The Bible’s Irrelevant in the Modern World:* While the Bible was written in a different time and cultural context, its messages and teachings are still relevant today. * The Bible addresses universal human experiences and offers timeless wisdom for navigating life's challenges. * The Bible is known as wisdom literature * It’s goal is not to give you the video footage of every detail
By dispelling these misconceptions, we can approach the Bible with a fresh perspective and open ourselves to its transformative power.
CHALLENGE:* Don’t try to see yourself all the time as you read the Bible. * Ask God to reveal Himself and His timeless truth to you as you continue reading Proverbs
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We want all men to be Thriving Men. They thrive when working on the 4 fundamentals of their lives: Physical, Mental, Emotional, and Spiritual. We include the spiritual because as men we are spiritual creatures. God created us this way and we flourish when we live His design.
The spiritual side of us as men is the foundation of all the other fundamentals. One of the best ways to build our spiritual side is to engage with the book designed to do that: The Bible.
Join us as we talk about the greatest book ever written and how incredible it is that God gave us a way to grow and get to know Him through it.
Why Read the Bible?* You must take out the assumptions that many people have about the Bible. * The Bible is God’s communication to us * The Bible is the greatest teacher of how to live * The Bible is the guide and pathway to REAL spiritual truth * Without the Bible, we make up our spirituality
The Uniqueness of the Bible* Its a Library of books not just a book * It is like a museum with different exhibits curated to communicate a single powerful message * God used different authors in different periods with multiple styles of writing * We read the different styles of books differently
The Bible has shaped the Western world* The Bible shaped many of the positive parts of the Western world * The Bible is historically accurate * The Bible is bigger than we are and will outlast us * It is the key building block to a life well-lived * Our founding fathers saw the wisdom of establishing the country on the Bible
CHALLENGE:* Read the bible yourself * Read the Proverb of the day based on the date for July
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Overcoming procrastination is hard because it seems like the world is working against you! Try looking at the checkout line at Wal-Mart. They don’t have protein shakes or healthy snacks, do they? No, they put candy and other stuff that makes you want them and buy impulsively.
But don’t worry, we have more tips to help you build up your procrastination muscles in this week’s episode. If you haven’t listened to last week’s episode, listen to it first and then check this one out. Both of them have tips that can help you get better at overcoming procrastination.
Remember the point is not to try everything we mention. You want to start by picking the one that resonates most with you. Get better at that one and then add another one. Using that method will help you get better quicker than trying to do them all at once.
Build Your Strengths* Learn your strengths and what you are good at * We often get into trying to do things that we aren’t good at because we are “supposed” to be good at it * Sometimes we have to do the “suck” stuff, but if you don’t have to why are you doing it? * It’s foolish to try to do more of what you aren’t good at if you don’t have to * This doesn’t mean you don’t try to grow * “Never worship your uniqueness at the expense of your growth”
Build Routines* “A good well-developed routine is an onramp to productivity” * Find things that get you in the mindset to be productive * Large tasks can feel overwhelming and lead to procrastination so try breaking them down into smaller, more manageable steps. * This allows you to make progress and experience small wins along the way, which can boost motivation and reduce the tendency to procrastinate.
Build Celebration* Celebrate progress: Acknowledge and celebrate each milestone you reach. * This can help maintain motivation and reinforce positive habits. * Use your Calendar - Plan a celebration after a big event or project * Find people to celebrate with
Build Teams* Sometimes, overcoming procrastination requires external support and accountability. * Procrastination is easiest when you are solo * Surround yourself with motivated individuals: * Find an accountability partner: * Join a study or workgroup: * Collaborating with others can help you stay accountable and provide opportunities for learning and growth. * Consider professional help if procrastination is significantly impacting your life and you're unable to overcome it on your own
CHALLENGE:* Build an on-ramp in ONE area to grow in it: Weight, health, yard work, relationships * Pick a couple of people to be a growth partner in an area for you * Maybe a small group that meets regularly * Recruit guys to be in it with you
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We have worked to better understand procrastination and its negative effects over the last few weeks. Now we will explore some practical tips and techniques to overcome procrastination and boost productivity in our lives. This is a mixture of practical things we can do each day along with some mental shifts and changes that can help us beat procrastination in our lives.
Creating a Productive Work EnvironmentHow you behave is deeply influenced by where you are and what you’re surrounded by.
The environment in which we work can have a significant impact on our ability to stay focused and motivated.
You want your environment to be a tactical advantage for you.
Start by removing any potential distractions from your workspace.
- Minimize the distractions.
- Find a separate place to do deeper work
Make your workspace comfortable and visually appealing.
Setting Realistic Goals and DeadlinesGoals are a tool to help you focus on moving in the right direction, not an intimidating barrier to keep you from taking a first step.
Clear goals give direction
- Without a clear sense of direction, it's easy to get overwhelmed and lose motivation.
Realistic Goals Give motivation
- Your goal can be specific, but impossible.
- We can’t mistake goals for dreams. Your goals are stepping stones toward achieving God-given dreams.
- Dreaming is good, but when it comes to focusing your actions today, you need something a bit more practical.
Great goals are scalable
- By breaking down your larger goals into smaller, more manageable projects and tasks, you can bring a sense of urgency and purpose to the behavior of today.
- When setting deadlines, be honest with yourself about how long tasks will take.
- It can be helpful to use a planner or digital calendar to schedule your tasks and deadlines.
Prioritizing Tasks and Managing Time EffectivelyAs we said in episode 211, prioritizing your goals and tasks is not the same as procrastinating.
Life will always want more from you, so you have to learn to develop a way of filtering between worthwhile pursuits and distractions.
Effective task management is crucial for overcoming procrastination and maximizing productivity
Simple Task Management: The Eisenhower Matrix
Start by listing all your tasks and then categorize them into one of four quadrants
- Important and urgent
- Important but not urgent
- Urgent but not important
- Not urgent or important.
Focus your energy on important and urgent tasks, and delegate or eliminate tasks that are not important or urgent.
Simple Time Management when there’s no Motivation: The Pomodoro Technique
- This involves breaking your work into timed intervals, typically 25 minutes of focused work followed by a short break of 5 minutes.
- After 4 rounds of this, you take a 25-minute break.
CHALLENGE:Implement one of the 3 things first:
- Clear and Realistic Goal Setting (For if you lack clarity in what you’re going for)
- Scalable Goals (semester goals, weekly goals, daily tasks) (For if you’re having trouble connecting your goals with your daily activities)
-
Implement a task management or time management system and see how it works for you
-
Eisenhower Matrix (If all your tasks are on the same level of importance in your mind)
- Pomodoro Technique (If you have trouble starting or pacing yourself during intense work.)
Prototype and have fun experimenting!
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There’s always more to the story. There’s always more than meets the eye. Procrastination is no exception. We often think of procrastination as some fundamental character flaw- “Well procrastination must mean I’m a lazy bum. That’s just who I am.” The reality is very different. Procrastination is often an outward symptom of inward issues. It’s the fruit, not the root. It’s not self-contained, it's linked to other parts of our life.
When we dig deeper, we will discover that there’s a lot more to the story, and there are some surprising ways we can address procrastination without the same old mantra of “trying harder.” On today’s show, we dig deep into procrastination and look at some of the root causes behind this problem.
Fear of Failure One common cause of procrastination is the fear of failure. * Unrealistic expectations often drive our fear of failure: comparing ourselves to someone online our friend, or even our dreamy ideals. * These expectations can paralyze us and prevent us from taking action. * Antidote: Failure is normal* and everyone goes through times when they fail at something. * Don’t take yourself too seriously. We all mess up, and the first time we try new things is often the worst. * By understanding that failure is a normal part of the learning process, we can overcome this fear and move forward with our tasks.
Lack of Motivation Another factor that contributes to procrastination is a lack of motivation. * If we don't see the value or importance of a task, we often don't find the motivation to get started. * Antidote: Connect your action with your why and connect the small picture to the big picture* * By finding meaning in the task, you can increase your motivation and reduce the tendency to procrastinate.
Instant Gratification Addiction* Another psychological explanation for procrastination is the concept of instant gratification. This is probably one you’ve already suspected * As humans, we are wired to seek immediate rewards and pleasure. * When faced with a task that requires effort and delayed gratification, we are more likely to procrastinate in favor of more immediately rewarding activities, such as scrolling through social media or watching TV. * We are surrounded by easy, appealing, and often free forms of instant gratification. In this environment, we have to be intentional about not just following our short-term cravings. * The answer doesn’t have to be all-or-nothing, it just has to be intentional. * By understanding this tendency, we can implement strategies to minimize distractions and increase our focus on important tasks. * Be systematic with your boundaries
Working Outside Our Natural Zone* God wired you with things you are good at and things you enjoy * We often procrastinate in areas that are not our natural zone * This doesn’t give us an excuse, but it is a reality we should see * This is something we should keep in mind when making commitments
CHALLENGE:Review the sections we talked about and figure out which one is affecting you the most
- Fear of Failure
- Lack of Motivation
- Instant gratification addiction
- Working outside your natural zone
Don’t just accept guilt over procrastination. Figure out why you are procrastinating and you’ll be able to deal with it the right way.
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Procrastination seems to be a common theme for many men today. We’ve been coaching a small group of men from different backgrounds but all had the same issue: Procrastination!
We all procrastinate in different areas of our lives and sometimes feel the bad consequences, but procrastination isn’t always bad. In this week’s show, we talk through what procrastination is along with some of the negative side effects of it. Plus, we deal with misunderstandings about procrastination that affect many men today.
What is Procrastination? Procrastination is the act of delaying or postponing tasks or actions to a harmful degree. * Many people believe that procrastination is simply a matter of laziness, but it is often a symptom of deeper underlying issues.* * We shouldn’t just accept procrastination but should look at it as a sign of something going on inside * It could be big or small, but procrastination often shows us insight into ourselves that we shouldn’t ignore
The Negative Side of Procrastination Procrastination can significantly affect us and the people in our lives. * Procrastination feeds itself. Once you start, it becomes a cycle of feeling overwhelmed* and unable to manage your time effectively. * One of the main consequences of procrastination is decreased productivity. * Procrastination also takes a toll on our mental health.
The Misunderstanding of Procrastination One of the biggest problems with procrastination is that it becomes a catch-all category for any time we don’t take action. * We have this assumption: “If I’m not doing something I could be doing right now, I’m procrastinating.” * There is an important category we are missing: prioritizing * Prioritizing: putting less important things on the back-burner on purpose so you can do something more valuable now.* * We have to prioritize our lives. That’s a good thing. * Productivity isn’t our purpose the goal isn’t to cram as much as possible into the 16 hours we have awake. It’s to place the best things into the 16 hours you have awake.
CHALLENGE:* As you go throughout this week think about this question: What times am I procrastination and what times am I prioritizing? * Look at the fruit of what you are choosing and why.
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The Art of Rest and Recovery: The Key to Recharge and Optimize Your PerformanceIn today's fast-paced world, it's easy to overlook the importance of rest and recovery. We often fill our days and nights with activities and we pay the price by losing sleep and never resting to recover. This hurts us and can harm our ability to live the life we were designed to live.
Let’s do a deep dive into rest and recovery and why it is so important to us.
You can also get more details on our blog at www.thrivingman.com
Common Misconceptions about Rest and Recovery1. Rest is a Sign of Laziness:
2. Rest is Time Wasted:
3. More is Always Better:
4. Rest is Only for the Weak:
The Physical Benefits of Rest and Recovery* When we rest, our bodies repair and regenerate, leading to numerous health benefits. * One of the primary physical benefits of rest is improved muscle recovery. * Rest also plays a crucial role in our immune system function. * Quality sleep is essential for physical recovery.
The Mental and Emotional Benefits of Rest and Recovery* While the physical benefits of rest and recovery are well-known, the impact on our mental and emotional well-being is equally significant. * Rest and recovery also contribute to improved cognitive function and mental clarity. * Rest and recovery give us the mental and emotional capacity to make connections with others. * Rest and recovery help prevent burnout.
The Impact of Rest and Recovery on Performance* Rest and recovery have a direct impact on our performance( whether it's in sports, business, or any other area of life.) * In the business world, rest and recovery are essential for productivity and creativity.
- In the relational world, rest and recovery are a key to making memories, building emotional connections, and growing more intimate.
- We often have to be as intentional about rest as we are about work.
Strategies for Effective Rest and Recovery1. Prioritize Sleep: Sleep is the foundation of rest and recovery.
2. Take Regular Breaks: Throughout the day, take short breaks to rest your mind and body.
3. Incorporate Active Rest: Active rest involves engaging in low-intensity activities that promote recovery without causing additional strain on the body.
4. Practice Reading: Take time to read real paper books, not a device.
5. Schedule Rest Days: schedule dedicated rest days in your routine.
Tips for Making Rest and Recovery a Priority1. Set Boundaries: Establish clear boundaries between work and personal life.
2. Plan Ahead
3. Practice Self-Care: Make time for activities that bring you joy and help you relax.
4. Listen to Your Body: Pay attention to your body's signals and needs.
5. Seek Support: The importance of a support system
Challenge: Embracing Rest and RecoveryEmbracing your rest and recovery is key to living your design. We weren’t created to work all the time and never rest. Our bodies need consistent rest and recovery to function at their best. Here are some questions to ask yourself to help you focus on your rest and recovery:
- How much sleep am I getting each night?
- What can I do to improve my sleep environment?
- What hobbies do I engage in besides something that involves media?
- Who are the people I spend time with regularly?
- Are they plus people or minus people?
- Do I put my phone to bed or do I take my phone to bed with me?
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Maintaining a healthy lifestyle over the long term means understanding and dealing with your food. We have some practical tips to help you navigate away from the strange nutrition advice you may hear and focus on what works over the long haul.
Calories are a reality that we must embrace to have a balanced and sustainable approach to nutrition. On today's show, we dive into the reality of the calorie.
Understanding calories and their impact on weight management* Calories are not evil- they are units of energy that our bodies need to function properly. * We need calories to fuel daily activities, including breathing, walking, and sleeping. * To lose weight, you must create a calorie deficit, which means consuming fewer calories than your body needs daily. * To maintain your weight, you must consume roughly the same amount of calories as your body requires. * To gain weight, you need to consume more calories than your body needs.
The importance of tracking your daily calorie intake* Tracking your daily calorie intake is the most powerful tool for managing your health journey and achieving your health goals. * Smartphone apps or online tool that allows you to log your meals and provides you with an estimate of the calories consumed. (Many are free) * The habit of paying attention is the real key, we often get unhealthy because we don’t pay attention. * When we are intentional about our eating, we can make better choices and choose the foods that we like and that are better for us.
Calculating your daily calorie needs* This can vary depending on age, gender, weight, height, and activity level. * Don’t worry about getting everything perfect. * The key is to start and have a baseline.
Effective strategies for reducing calorie intakeReducing calorie intake doesn't mean depriving yourself of delicious food. It's about making smarter choices and finding healthier alternatives.
- Find your favorite fruits and vegetables
- Get more protein
- Focus on Fiber
- Be mindful of liquid calories
- Cook at home more often
Portion control tips for managing caloriesPortion control is a key ingredient for managing your calorie intake.
- Use smaller plates and bowls
- Measure your food
- Avoid eating straight from the package
- Plan your meals and snacks
By practicing portion control, you can enjoy a wide variety of foods while managing your calorie intake. Remember, it's not about depriving yourself; it's about finding the balance that works for you.
The role of savoring in controlling caloriesFood should be something you savor and enjoy.
Take the time to be present in the moment and fully engage your senses when you eat.
- Slow down
- Eliminate distractions
- Tune into your hunger and fullness cues
- Use your senses
- Be Thankful for the Moment
- Recognize emotional eating
When you learn to savor your food, you can develop a greater awareness of your body's needs and make conscious choices that support your long-term health journey. It's not just about the calories you consume; it's also about the quality of your eating experience
Challenge: Find Your Calorie Reality* Start tracking - Suck it up if you want to change * My fitness pal is free (for the calorie-only version) * Carbon is more effective for next-level tracking (Calories, Macros, and an algorithm that changes your calorie intake to your needs) * Doing what you’ve done hasn’t helped you * This is a key process because you are taking responsibility for your food yourself
My Fitness Pal
Carbon App
Revolution Protein
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We are continuing our focus on movement when it comes to having a beach-ready body. In this episode, we dive into the practical realities if we want to increase the movement in our lives. Too many of us think it is impossible with our crazy schedule. The truth is it can happen with some specific focus.
Reality One: You’ve Got to Plan* The movement required to live with a beach-ready body does not happen by accident. * Planning your exercise time and how you add more movement to your life is something that you have to prioritize. * The reality is no one can do this for us. We must take personal responsibility for ourselves and our bodies. * We can blame society and our schedules but we make time for what’s important. * If we aren’t making time for more movement, we need to be honest and realize we don’t prioritize it enough.
Reality Two: Consistency is Key* Long-term success is something that we can do regularly. * We also want to take into account what is fun. * We all tend to stick with things we enjoy more than things we hate. * We should look for things we enjoy doing or at least, we enjoy the feeling we have afterwards from having done it.
Reality Three: Variety and Challenges* One of the great things about different types of exercise is it works our bodies in many ways. * This keeps things fresh and can help stop the boredom of doing the same thing all the time. * We recently challenged men to focus on getting under 30% body fat as a starting point.
Challenge: Beach-Ready Body Movement PlanStep 1: Decide the What* Starting begins when we decide what we will do to add movement into our lives. * The best time might be the early morning or at lunch. * We may need to experiment to find the best time and process but avoiding the issue won’t get anything done. * The key point is to start with something. Adjustments will come, but if we don’t start we won’t be able to figure the rest out
Step 2: Forget Past Failures & Victories* Two biggest mindsets that hurt us. * The first one is where we beat ourselves up for getting so out of shape. * We also can’t allow our past victories to influence us. * The goal of a beach-ready body life is to have a process that we enjoy and can stick with for sustained health.
Step 3: Get Help* Sometimes the best thing we can do to develop consistency is to get help. * Paid coaching, something online, or a combination of the two. * Coaching also helps to bring more fun and confidence to our movement plans. When we know what we are doing from our coaching we can enjoy it more. * We have a special course Physical Health 101 that is a deep dive into making fitness a reality in our lives. Find it at www.thrivingman.com
Step 4: Find Community* One of the best ways to make movement part of our lives is to join a community. * Many people go to a class at a gym because of the sense of community and fun it brings. * We could even get a friend to join us in our new plan. This can bring a challenge and a sense of accountability to both of you
Movement-Focused Final Thoughts* The beach-ready body is something every one of us can have long-term. * The key is to develop healthy habits over the long run. * This isn’t a quick fix and we cannot expect weight to drop off overnight. * Start this week! Don’t wait until things are perfect or you have a perfect plan. * You won’t regret it and you will be stronger because of it.
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When it comes to our health, it is easy to look for the “one trick” to bring a beach-ready body, but there isn’t a trick. There isn’t some “magic formula” that fixes our health and keeps us in shape. It always comes down to the little daily decisions in our life.
The idea for this series came from a quote that Dr. Layne Norton put on X:
"STOP stressing over every single health topic. The majority of ‘optimal’ health can be achieved through
- Regular exercise
- Controlling calories
- Eating enough protein & fiber
- Psychological stress management
- Adequate sleep
- Don’t smoke or drink
- The amount of stress you spend on individual ingredients in food, meal timing, fasting windows, fad diets, special exercises, etc is killing you faster than getting these small things ‘wrong’"
Implementing these priorities is the key to having a beach-ready body year-round. Plus they aren’t weird or super complicated. On today’s show, we are covering the first of two parts about Movement and its importance in our lives
Beach-Ready vs Sedentary* We are a sedentary society. * Most jobs today involve sitting in front of a computer. * Even jobs that don’t involve an office often involve a lot of sitting. This is a reality that we have to understand and work with.
The Sitting Norm* Many of us sit at work and look at screens most of the day. * When we get home, we often find ourselves sitting (with our feet propped up of course) and watching something. * Sitting is not evil, but the truth we have to recognize is how much sitting we do is excessive. * When we go from a sitting job to sitting at home, that can cause us to get used to the sedentary lifestyle. * Walking is something we don’t do often and our bodies begin to lose their muscle tone. If we don’t use muscles, they get weak. * A sedentary life won’t help us be beach-ready it only helps us be couch-ready.
Watching vs Doing* We have a spectator society and that is a bad thing for our health. * Instead of doing something or trying something new, we often sit and watch the “experts” do it online. * Armchair quarterbacks are a classic example of this.
Trained Sedation* Many of us have grown up and live in a sedentary environment and we need to recognize this and fight against it. * As kids, many of us grew up with all kinds of digital games and devices where we could spend hours playing but never move. * This gives us a sense of activity while not doing anything active. * Our devices don’t help us because at any time we can watch videos and be mentally stimulated. * We can’t let the digital world consume us and force us to become sedentary.
Mental Fatigue Reaction* The digital world we live in often drives us to end the day with a lot of mental fatigue. * This is real and we do want to learn how to deal with it but we often confuse mental fatigue with physical fatigue. * We can be tired mentally, but our bodies will often still need some type of movement. * The amazing thing is as we work our bodies, it often stimulates our minds and energizes us mentally.
RESOURCES TO HELP YOU THRIVE AS A MAN
Thriving Man Coaching Resources
4D MODEL FREE PDF
- Learn about the 4 fundamentals of a Successful Life
Discover OUR SPEAKING AND HOW WE HAVE EMPOWERED THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE ACROSS THE WORLD
When it comes to our health, it is easy to look for the “one trick” to bring a beach-ready body, but there isn’t a trick. There isn’t some “magic formula” that fixes our health and keeps us in shape. It always comes down to the little daily decisions in our life.
The idea for this series came from a quote that Dr. Layne Norton put on X:
"STOP stressing over every single health topic. The majority of ‘optimal’ health can be achieved through
- Regular exercise
- Controlling calories
- Eating enough protein & fiber
- Psychological stress management
- Adequate sleep
- Don’t smoke or drink
- The amount of stress you spend on individual ingredients in food, meal timing, fasting windows, fad diets, special exercises, etc is killing you faster than getting these small things ‘wrong’"
Implementing these priorities is the key to having a beach-ready body year-round. Plus they aren’t weird or super complicated. On today’s show, we are covering the first of two parts about Movement and its importance in our lives
Beach-Ready vs Sedentary* We are a sedentary society. * Most jobs today involve sitting in front of a computer. * Even jobs that don’t involve an office often involve a lot of sitting. This is a reality that we have to understand and work with.
The Sitting Norm* Many of us sit at work and look at screens most of the day. * When we get home, we often find ourselves sitting (with our feet propped up of course) and watching something. * Sitting is not evil, but the truth we have to recognize is how much sitting we do is excessive. * When we go from a sitting job to sitting at home, that can cause us to get used to the sedentary lifestyle. * Walking is something we don’t do often and our bodies begin to lose their muscle tone. If we don’t use muscles, they get weak. * A sedentary life won’t help us be beach-ready it only helps us be couch-ready.
Watching vs Doing* We have a spectator society and that is a bad thing for our health. * Instead of doing something or trying something new, we often sit and watch the “experts” do it online. * Armchair quarterbacks are a classic example of this.
Trained Sedation* Many of us have grown up and live in a sedentary environment and we need to recognize this and fight against it. * As kids, many of us grew up with all kinds of digital games and devices where we could spend hours playing but never move. * This gives us a sense of activity while not doing anything active. * Our devices don’t help us because at any time we can watch videos and be mentally stimulated. * We can’t let the digital world consume us and force us to become sedentary.
Mental Fatigue Reaction* The digital world we live in often drives us to end the day with a lot of mental fatigue. * This is real and we do want to learn how to deal with it but we often confuse mental fatigue with physical fatigue. * We can be tired mentally, but our bodies will often still need some type of movement. * The amazing thing is as we work our bodies, it often stimulates our minds and energizes us mentally.
RESOURCES TO HELP YOU THRIVE AS A MAN
Thriving Man Coaching Resources
4D MODEL FREE PDF
- Learn about the 4 fundamentals of a Successful Life
Discover OUR SPEAKING AND HOW WE HAVE EMPOWERED THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE ACROSS THE WORLD
Is there an ideal body type? Body types and ideal body types are always changing. Standards of beauty vary from time period to time period. We even see that today. Different countries will often have different standards of beauty and looks.
The problem with these types of standards is that for many of us, they aren’t possible so we don’t even try. What is the use of being in shape if we will never reach a “standard” of perfection? We have to change our minds when it comes to this and it starts with us having the right attitude.
We are using the term “Beach Ready Body” and we want to explain what that means on today’s show.
A beach-ready body isn’t an ideal of perfection, as much as it is an individual goal for a person. It is a term we are using to focus on being healthy all the time and not just going on vacation when people will see us at the beach. We want to focus on living a lifestyle of healthiness which means at any time we could go to the beach. Our health should not be about an event but about a lifestyle journey.
Health Journey vs Health Target* The process of living healthy starts with us seeing the process as a journey and not just a target. * Everyday habits and choices are the key to sustained success in health
The Journey of Identity* The journey of health is a journey of identity. * Too many of us struggle to see ourselves as a “healthy” person. * We see our flaws and screw-ups and often give up before the payoff happens * Our identity has to change if we are going to see long-term sustained success.
Healthy Doesn’t Mean Health Nut* One thing that turns many of us off from health is the health nuts * People who act like that are just wanting the attention. * We want to walk the health journey because it’s what is best for us and our family * We want to be good stewards of our bodies.
The Biggest Battle of Having a Beach-Ready Body The top thing that stops us from the body and health we want: Giving Up. * People often give up because they have “tried” through the years. * We start excusing our unhealthiness and justifying our lack of effort * We can’t expect short-term fixes to solve long-term problems*.
Can I Still Enjoy Food?* This is a big part of why so many of us don’t build healthy habits. We think it means we can’t enjoy our food anymore. * Living healthy can help us enjoy our food more. * We don’t just accept anything to eat. We learn to enjoy food that is really good instead of whatever is available. * We don’t have to be obsessed with food to enjoy food. We can enjoy it and still live a healthy life. We just have to keep food in its proper place. * Food doesn’t fix things and shouldn’t be a source of comfort. * We should enjoy food but not expect our food to fix emotional issues in our lives.
The Upfront Movement* We have to be honest: Getting started will be hard! * Mindsets take time to change. * We have to focus on the reality of why being healthy matters. * It is an uphill battle
Personal Grace for the Beach-Ready Body* When we decide to go on a journey toward healthiness, remember that it takes time. * Health isn’t a streak you maintain. Messing up once doesn’t end your healthy life! * We will go through different seasons where we focus on physical health and some seasons where we are looking at other areas.
Mental Tip: Look for the Best Option* There are times when we go to an event and there isn’t anything super healthy that is offered to us, so what do we do? Binge Out??? * Try to go with the best options that is there and don’t give yourself an excuse to binge out. * We don’t live in a perfect world and we shouldn’t expect other people to change how they eat just for us. * We should be as proactive as possible, but when we are in situations like this, just pick the best options that is there.
Mental Tip: Always Learning* James Clear has a great quote, “Never miss twice.” This means that if we make a mistake, we should learn from it and not make the same mistake. * We have to keep our minds in a state of constant learning. * Each one of us are individuals and we all have things that work better for us that may not work for everyone else. * Learn what those things are. * We can’t expect to change everything overnight, but we can change everything over time if we are willing to learn.
CHALLENGE:Beach Ready Body ChallengeOur challenge is to start with a series of questions about where you are at and where you want to go.
These questions should help you figure out where your mind is at and what changes you will need to make to start your healthy journey.
- Do you see yourself as a healthy person? Why or why not?
- Have you tried in the past to be healthier (lose weight, get in shape, etc….) only to fail and now you don’t even try?
- What excuses do you use to not live healthier?
- Do you use food to medicate other things? (loneliness, boredom, anger, etc….)
- What is the hardest thing about starting a healthy journey for you?
- Do you think one of the reasons it is so hard is because you hold yourself to an unrealistic standard of perfection?
RESOURCES TO HELP YOU THRIVE AS A MAN
========================
Thriving Man Coaching Resources
4D MODEL FREE PDF
- Learn about the 4 fundamentals of a Successful Life
Discover OUR SPEAKING AND HOW WE HAVE EMPOWERED THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE ACROSS THE WORLD
Life often never goes as we planned. Many of us had dreams as kids of what we wanted to be when we grew up. Most of us change those many times before we become adults. No one’s life goes according to their first initial plan.
Why is this? Because we all make adjustments as we grow. We learn about ourselves and we mature in our values. Adjusting to life is part of living life well. We adjust to things like jobs and relationships. Having confidence doesn’t mean we get everything right. It means we have an attitude of adjustment.
On today’s show, we talk through 3 key ways to ensure adjusting is part of building a confident life.
Pick a Direction
-
You can’t adjust your direction if you have no direction.
-
Why are you here? What does a great life look like in a normal week?
-
A lot of guys never answer that question.
-
Survival mode is the path of least resistance.
-
You can only behave beyond your current standard when you look beyond your current reality.
-
Picking a direction is part of living a confident life
-
When you don’t pick a direction, you’ll wander from fad to fad.
-
Not choosing is a choice. When you don’t pick your direction it is picked for you (listening to music, watching streaming vs TV channels)
-
When we don’t pick, we are giving control of our lives to others
-
Key Idea: Choices aren’t permanent- they’re tests for feedback
Set Up Boundaries
-
Gardens flourish within the right conditions, grass looks lush and green when taken care of
-
Too often we don’t work on the boundaries of our lives so we can’t flourish
-
Boundaries Focus our Work and Energy
-
Boundaries Make Decisions Easier
-
It is deciding before you have to make the decision.
-
Boundaries Protect Us, even from ourselves
-
The simplicity of the concept of boundaries doesn’t mean they are easy
Make Micro Adjustments
-
Making adjustments is a good part of living our lives
-
Flights adjust constantly as they travel to get to their destination
-
We do the same thing as we figure out what works in our life
-
We prototype things and then drop it or adjust it
-
Don’t always adjust everything- have a planning, executing, and evaluating rhythm.
-
These are all micro adjustments and they are a part of life
-
You won’t be perfect and shouldn’t expect to be, but if you don’t try you won’t know
CHALLENGE
-
Quit waiting for Perfection to pick a direction
-
What are the core 4 to 5 things you value most in life?
-
What doesn’t a lifestyle that supports those things look like on an average day?
-
What does the schedule look like in an average week?
-
Where do you live and who are you with?
-
Boundaries
-
What boundaries do you need to start living that way today?
-
Read Boundaries by Henry Cloud & John Townsend
-
Go to www.boundaries.me
-
Embrace adjustments and look for ways to improve
-
Make a plan/prototype.
-
Set a start and end date.
-
At the end date ask yourself:
-
What worked well?
-
What made it difficult?
-
What did I learn about myself in the process?
-
How can I adjust to fit the future I desire? (could even mean stopping something)
-
Understand that change isn’t always better
-
You don’t have to constantly be changing everything
-
Sometimes maintaining what you’re doing is best.
-
Be wise in your adjustments. Be selective. Only work on 1-3 areas at a time. NO MORE THAN 3. Preferably 2 or less.
-
Sometimes the best adjustment is to stick to the original plan and focus on it
Watch and Enjoy!
David & Reese Maxwell
RESOURCES TO HELP YOU THRIVE AS A MAN
========================
Thriving Man Resources
4D MODEL FREE PDF
Being the main character of your own life and building confidence only happens when you have focus. Our focus on the why behind our lives really does matter. Too often we are so busy living life that we never think about why.
We call this survivor mode. A way of life for too many of us
We have to start living with purpose in the face of the busyness of life
Busyness is a distraction and deception for too many of us
We want to escape the survivor mode by focusing our lives and we do that by recognizing some key mental traps that we can get caught up in
Trap #1: Activity = Success
-
Everyone is busy today
-
Busyness isn’t evil
-
Busyness isn’t evil, but busyness isn’t necessarily success either
-
The problem comes when we allow ourselves to take on the activity = success mindset
Trap #2: Riding vs Driving
-
The reality of the “Victim Mentality” and how it has permeated our society today
-
Question “Is life moving you are, or are you moving you”
-
Many of us act like we are on a roller coaster instead of driving a car
-
Decide Your Destination
-
Evaluate Your Every Day
-
The calendar is the greatest mirror of what your priorities really are
-
“Desires without discipline will only be dreams”
-
Use the Word No
-
We have to learn to say no to ourselves first
-
Men who can’t control their own appetites can’t control their life
-
We have to learn to say no to others
-
We have to say no to the urgent and unimportant
-
This is simple but not easy
Trap #3: The “One Day” Dream
-
Our society pushes and showcases the “one-day” dream
-
One day will never happen if we aren’t ready for it
-
The lottery mentality - dreaming of how you’ll spend the millions but not doing anything to earn money now
-
Are you a good steward of what you have now?
CHALLENGE
-
Ask yourself, “Why am I so busy”
-
Am I choosing what I do or allowing it to be selected for me?
-
Do this in the reality of your life.
-
Write out everything you are committed to, and how much time that takes each week, and look at that list. Are you setting yourself up for stress and overcommitment?
-
You can’t control everything but what CAN you control
-
Start with the little daily decisions
-
Are you choosing how you live or just surviving in the little things of everyday life?
-
The “one-day” mentality comes from feeling overwhelmed with all the stuff life throws at us
-
Do you need all the decisions you have to make?
-
Start fixing the small areas and you will build up strength for the big areas
Watch and Enjoy!
David & Reese Maxwell
RESOURCES TO HELP YOU THRIVE AS A MAN
========================
Thriving Man Coaching Resources
4D MODEL FREE PDF
“Action is the currency of a life well lived.”
This truth shows up in our lives every day. We must take action in our lives and not just wish things would change. Without action, there won’t be change and many aspects of life wouldn’t happen. We all must take action if we want to live our lives well.
We are talking on today’s show about building confidence and being the main character of our own lives. To do this, we must make choices and then take action. Choices always precede action and action must follow our choices or we won’t do anything.
This means we must walk in the confidence of making decisions. We can’t live a main character's life if we aren’t willing to make the main character's decisions.
1. A Confident Person Removes the Unnecessary Obstacles
-
What are some unnecessary obstacles standing between us and a life of confidence?
-
Worry
-
The Trivial
-
Savior Complex/Perfectionism
-
Interesting Distractions
2. A Confident Person Embraces the Important Obstacles
-
Choose: Pick the key area you need to grow in the most
-
Your growth in one area gives you the strength and belief to tackle other areas
-
Move: Be patient, keep moving
-
Endure: Expect failures. Don’t take it personally
-
Ask: Get coaching and help
CHALLENGE
Courage Starts Now
-
Growth is inside out and on the way. It's on the path, not at the end of the path so start moving in a direction
-
Avoid Analysis paralysis= walking in mental circles
-
Don’t Use Thinking and Planning to Stall Progress
Watch and Enjoy!
David & Reese Maxwell
RESOURCES TO HELP YOU THRIVE AS A MAN
========================
Thriving Man Coaching Resources
4D MODEL FREE PDF
FIND OUT ABOUT OUR SPEAKING
Building Your Confidence: Being the Main Character of Your Own Life: Confident People Are Self-Aware
We’ve all had those moments where reality slapped us in the face. Mine was an anniversary picture where I looked like I needed a man bra. It was not a pretty site and it woke me up to reality. My self-awareness had woken up.
We all need to have a healthy dose of self-awareness to grow in our confidence. Being the main character of our lives means taking full responsibility for ourselves and our actions. Without self-awareness, we can't take responsibility and we will always lack true confidence. We will only play pretend based on our faulty logic.
Self-awareness is a big key to confidence and we will look at what it means for us in how we think.
You Don’t Have to Know Everything to Be Confident
-
When you study some of the CEOs who are the most successful, you often find they have a strong sense of what they are good at and what they aren’t
-
They are willing to say “I don’t know” and let experts do their job
-
We often get caught up in ourselves and think we have to be able to have all the answers.
-
We all have areas we love and excel in and areas we don’t.
You Don’t Have to Excel at Everything to be Confident
-
We all have strengths, and we all have weaknesses
-
Recognize your strengths
-
Acknowledge your weaknesses
You Don’t Have to be Perfect to Be Confident
-
There is tremendous pressure for guys to be self-sufficient. To be the full package.
-
We can’t do it all. We can’t be it all. outside of Jesus, NO ONE IS THE FULL PACKAGE.
-
We don’t have unlimited supplies of energy and stamina
-
Resting and relaxing can be something we recharge with and not just run away to
-
Productivity is not the purpose of life
CHALLENGE: Self Awareness Comes from Learning, Reflection, and Trustworthy Opinions
Learning
-
Objective tools to help you build categories for strengths and weaknesses. (No one tool is perfect, but many are useful.)
-
Strengthfinders assessment
-
Working Genius Assessments
Reflecting
-
Work + Love
-
What are you good at and enjoy?
-
What are you good at but don’t like it?
Trustworthy Opinions
-
Find people you trust to ask them their thoughts
-
What do you think I am good at?
-
Where are some areas in which I don’t excel?
Watch and Enjoy!
David & Reese Maxwell
RESOURCES TO HELP YOU THRIVE AS A MAN
========================
Thriving Man Coaching Resources:
https://www.thrivingman.com/coaching
4D MODEL FREE PDF
Learn about the 4 fundamentals of a Successful Life
https://www.thrivingman.com/the-4d-model
DISCOVER OUR SPEAKING AND HOW WE HAVE EMPOWERED THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE ACROSS THE WORLD
https://www.thrivingman.com/speaking
Welcome to another episode of Manime Month where we learn manly lessons from Anime! We have loved doing these shows and if you enjoy them, let us know what shows you’d like us to use for future Manime months!
Today on the show we look at the realities of compassion and how Naofumi showed compassion to people even when his feelings weren’t always there
As men, we may not always feel things but we are good at getting things done. This is why we are great at showing compassion, but not always sympathy. Naofumi is a classic example of a man who shows incredible compassion even if he doesn’t show a lot of sympathy.
Compassion Gives Attention & Action
-
Naofumi showed real compassion with Raphtalia
-
Compassion Pays Attention
-
Marcus Buckingham “Attention is the food of love” and “The opposite of love is not hate but ignoring”
-
Compassion isn’t a formula it is an extremely personal way of relating
-
Naofumi did pay attention, but he followed it up with action
Compassion Gives Significance
-
Naofumi treated people with significance, even when he questioned himself about it
-
What we do when we are paying attention is recognize a person’s humanity and it develops and recognizes our humanity
-
For many guys, the path to freedom or the best life isn’t what they will receive from others but what they give.
-
Learning how to give and serve can help set us free from our struggles
-
The villagers that Naofumi protected are inspired by his example and they fight with him
CHALLENGE:
-
Start working on paying attention
-
Look for opportunities to take action and give compassion to others
-
Five Love Languages
-
It starts with us paying attention, and taking action, and then significance and life change happens to the people you help and yourself
Watch and Enjoy!
David & Reese Maxwell
RESOURCES TO HELP YOU THRIVE AS A MAN
========================
Thriving Man Coaching Resources
4D MODEL FREE PDF
- Learn about the 4 fundamentals of a Successful Life
Discover OUR SPEAKING AND HOW WE HAVE EMPOWERED THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE ACROSS THE WORLD
Rage is something we love in movies. When the main character goes into beast mode and takes all the bad guys down. We think of guys like John Wick who take out entire gangs for killing his dog. In “Rising of the Shield Hero,” Naofumi has the “Rage Shield.” This is a special power that he possesses that helps him win a bunch of fights. However, it does have a very high cost.
For many men, rage is a common characteristic. They lose their temper and go at people or situations. For many, when they get angry and full of rage, they get things done and make things happen. At least, that is what they tell themselves. The problem is rage always has a lot of collateral damage.
On today’s episode, we talk about the realities of rage. What it can do for us and what it can do to hurt us. We also talk about the positive flip side of rage: discipline.
Truth 1: Rage can be effective.
-
When the adrenaline hits and rage takes over, you can do some damage.
-
Rage can motivate hard work for a time
-
Becoming raged can intimidate people into submission
Truth 2: Rage has a high price
-
It only has the power to destroy
-
No one gets enraged and then makes a beautiful painting or builds a grand structure.
-
Rage has collateral damage
-
Our rage hurts those closest to us
-
Naofumi hurt himself when he was full of rage
-
Rage can be a powerful force but it has a high cost.
Truth 3: Discipline Focuses the Energy of Rage
-
Discipline comes from our self-control
-
Our ability to focus our energy and use it for good instead of bad
-
Discipline is found in community and not isolation
-
Discipline is a productive power source
Challenge:
-
How do we move from rage to discipline
-
Deal with the roots of our pain
-
Build a community and don’t fight alone
-
Do the right thing even when you don’t feel like it
-
Protect yourself from influences and situations that feed your rage
Watch and Enjoy!
David & Reese Maxwell
RESOURCES TO HELP YOU THRIVE AS A MAN
========================
Thriving Man Coaching Resources:
https://www.thrivingman.com/coaching
4D MODEL FREE PDF
Learn about the 4 fundamentals of a Successful Life
https://www.thrivingman.com/the-4d-model
FIND OUT ABOUT OUR SPEAKING AND HOW WE HAVE EMPOWERED THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE ACROSS THE WORLD
https://www.thrivingman.com/speaking
Anime is one of the best genres when it comes to a backstory. They can change how you feel about one of the villains after a backstory. How a character chooses to live after their backstory is what often makes them the villain or the protagonist.
Naofumi had a bad backstory in Rising of the Shield Hero, but how he dealt with it is what helped him become a true hero.
Many of us have hurts and pains from our past. How we deal with them is the key to overcoming and being a hero in our own story.
On today’s show, we deal with the realities of bitterness and how to overcome it so we can become the hero in our own story.
Reduces Your World
-
Constantly replaying what happened in the past will reduce our world today
-
Bitterness can motivate us to “show them,” which means we are still working for them in a weird way
-
Naofumi was consumed with the hurt and it often kept him from doing as much as he could
-
Bitter Men are constantly replaying their pain and hurting their life today
Distorts Your Relationships
-
Your past hurts define your present relationships if you don’t deal with them
-
Pain can isolate us - “I’m the only one….”
-
Because of his hurt, Naofumi lived with a “guilty until proven innocent mentality.”
-
Bitterness can put us in a place where reconciliation and healing are impossible.
-
Victim mentality blinds us to compassion.
Disfigures Your Identity
-
Since the beginning of the show, Naofumi was a pretty good guy. Not perfect- but he mentioned that he helped his sister get on the right path and that was why his parents let him live at home.
-
But when he got to the new world, Everyone said he was a bad guy. Everyone. and he started filling that role.
-
“I’m not that good of a guy,” is something he starts thinking of himself.
-
If we stay in our bitterness, it transforms our view of ourselves and everything is seen through the lens of our pain
Challenge
-
Don’t fight alone! Too many men try to fight through their past pain by themselves
-
Find friends or others who you can be honest with and can help you overcome your past pain
-
For Naofumi, not having a sword became a blessing
-
“Sometimes your greatest limitations become your greatest blessings”
-
Naofumi’s team, helped him overcome his own inner pain
-
Heroes overcome their backstory
-
Villains stay in their backstory
Watch and Enjoy!
David & Reese Maxwell
RESOURCES TO HELP YOU THRIVE AS A MAN
========================
Thriving Man Coaching Resources:
https://www.thrivingman.com/coaching
4D MODEL FREE PDF
Learn about the 4 fundamentals of a Successful Life
https://www.thrivingman.com/the-4d-model
FIND OUT ABOUT OUR SPEAKING AND HOW WE HAVE EMPOWERED THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE ACROSS THE WORLD
https://www.thrivingman.com/speaking
This week we start a series that we are super excited about. We are combining two passions of ours: Anime and Thriving Men! Welcome to MANIME!
The power of stories has been a constant throughout history and today some of the most powerful storytelling is through the Anime genre. We wanted to choose an anime that we felt had many lessons in it for us as men so we chose the show, “Rising of the Shield Hero.”
We will discuss many things the protagonist, Iwatani Naofumi, goes through in season one. If you haven’t seen the show, we would love for you to check it out before listening to the podcast, but you don’t have to watch it to understand the lessons that we can learn through the shows.
This week’s show talks about Toughness vs Roughness. This is relevant to us because we all go through hard times in our lives. Sometimes it is because of things we have done and sometimes it is because of things that were done to us. Either way, these things can cause us to be tough or rough. Toughness is a necessary trait for us as men and it helps us succeed. Roughness can cause us to isolate ourselves and hurt relationships in our lives. As men, we want to be tough but not rough. We discuss what that looks like and why in this week’s episode.
Hard Times Hit Us All
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Naofumi had it rough because he was betrayed hard! He was accused of something he didn’t do, but everyone believed that he was guilty.
-
We see him struggle with this betrayal and the pain it causes him all through the first season
-
It causes him to grow in toughness- which isn’t a bad thing. We see him get creative and the situation ends up leading to a lot of good.
-
We also see him struggle with his rage. His betrayal from the past colored all of his relationships- even with the people who were trying to help him.
-
Bitterness does that to all of us as men.
-
The issue is: that we can’t see it as “our lonely burden” and isolate ourselves from everyone! Don’t forget: all men go through hard times. Everyone suffers.
-
If we aren’t careful, the pain and bitterness will cause us to reject everything and everyone
-
Naofumi projects this aura of being a grumpy man who doesn’t care, but those closest to him see it isn’t true cause he still treats people well.
We Can’t Let The Past Define Our Future
-
One of the best lessons we can learn from Naofumi is to not let the past determine our future
-
We see him not dwelling too much on the past but looking at what he can do right now
-
He decides to get help and becomes financially independent
-
He begins to make alliances and build his network of people to work with
-
This is his toughness being developed, which he needs.
-
We also see him moving on and not allowing the “reputation” he has to define him
-
We see him sometimes doing the right thing and then sometimes acting like a hurt child. This is normal and is part of the process of working through the grief of a painful past
-
Naofumi shows us that struggle in different aspects
Difficulties Develop Us
-
Difficulty when creatively embraced builds different muscles in us
-
We see in Naofumi that the difficulties he went through grew him and made him stronger
-
The other heroes don’t ever grow in their development
-
We see that in society today among a lot of young men who aren’t growing up because they have never gone through any difficulties in their life
-
Ease can make us whither - too much comfort and not doing hard things can make us weak
-
Hard things build up our mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical selves.
CHALLENGE:
-
Ask yourself the question: “How do I treat people?”
-
Do you see everyone as your enemy? = This is a symptom of roughness
-
Where are you focusing your mind?
-
Do you replay old problems and pains or are you looking for solutions to your current issues?
Watch and Enjoy!
David & Reese Maxwell
RESOURCES TO HELP YOU THRIVE AS A MAN
========================
Thriving Man Coaching Resources:
https://www.thrivingman.com/coaching
4D MODEL FREE PDF
Learn about the 4 fundamentals of a Successful Life
https://www.thrivingman.com/the-4d-model
FIND OUT ABOUT OUR SPEAKING AND HOW WE HAVE EMPOWERED THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE ACROSS THE WORLD
https://www.thrivingman.com/speaking
Many men say the phrase, “I don’t understand women!” However, the reality is we don’t have to understand all women. We only have to understand one. Your wife or your girlfriend are the only women you need to focus on understanding. This helps take the pressure off of men because it helps them see that each woman is an individual and that is how we approach a relationship with them.
On today’s show, we focus on approaching the relationship that way. This will help us build a next-level relationship.
Focus* When we decide to focus on one woman, we begin to see how much better a relationship can be * Selfish relational goals = lonely, unattached people * For married men, it is ensuring you focus on your wife. The busy pace of life, work, and children don’t need to distract you. * As a single man, you are similarly getting to know a woman for who she is as a real person when dating * You want to seek to get to know the real them and not an image from your mind or them acting * You need to be interested in the person themselves, not just what they have to offer you. * This is why it is best to avoid sex before marriage * Sex is often used to hide or distract from deeper issues
Study* You want to become a student of the woman you are with- both when dating or in marriage. * This is to get to know them for who they are and not to manipulate them. * The joy of a relationship is getting to know a person for who they are as an individual * Discovering the unique aspects of their life and attitude * This is something that you can study and get to know * By studying, you get to know the real them and you learn about what is important for you to connect with them * The best way to do that is to be your authentic self * When you take your mask off, it gives her permission to take her mask off
Journey* This isn’t a contest to win, this is a lifetime gig. The joy of relationships is discovering the individuality of each other * This isn’t a game to beat, it is an open world to explore. * You go exploring into each other's lives * You open up about hopes and dreams, and you learn theirs. * It is ever-changing. As time passes, seasons change, you both mature, and you can face the celebrations and challenges of life together. * You’ll eventually become each other’s greatest companions on the journey of life
CHALLENGE:If you are Dating: Ask yourself, “What am I in a relationship for?”
- To win the girl, or get to know the girl?
If you are Married: Get more curious about your wife
- Ask questions. Look up questions online if you need help going deeper
- Take Notes.
- Get intentional.
- Initiate - asking yourself “How can I bless her or make her day?”
- Free App to help = Love nudge
When it comes to a house or any building the foundation is the most important part. If the foundation is messed up, the building won’t last. Many men struggle in their relationships because they haven’t taken the time to build a good foundation for their lives. This often happens when they don’t have an example of a good man in their life.
On the show this week, we talk about why we must build our foundation as men if we want to have great relationships. This can help us find the right woman for us or it can also help us improve our marriages. The truth is it will take work, but we are men and work is what we are good at! So start working on how you can build your foundation as a man as you listen to the show.
Good Foundations are Built on Character
-
To be inwardly strong, we must be men of character
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We must embrace strong beliefs and passions that we live by
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Men without character are selfish and self-centered
-
Men with character can empathize and see the big picture of life
-
Character gives you the ability to serve others
Good Foundations Welcomes Growth
-
When you have inner strength, you can recognize your strengths and weaknesses
-
This gives you the ability to change and grow
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When a man has inner strength, he is willing to recognize when he is wrong and learn from it
-
Weak men will deny their weakness and try to prop up an image
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We must recognize our need for growth if we want to be inwardly strong men of character
-
Self-control and self-discipline can flow from our inward character
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It can also give us the strength to stand up for those who can’t stand up for themselves
Good Foundations Attract Women with a Good Foundation
-
The interesting part of inward strength is it attracts women of inward strength
-
Insecure Men will often attract insecure women
-
Men who have character, strength, and security will often attract women who have the same attributes
-
Our character helps us see what is important in potential women
-
We want to work on our inward character so we can bring our whole selves to a relationship and not just part of ourselves and hide the rest
-
Strong men are the ones who are the most open and upfront about themselves
One of the biggest hindrances to a man’s growth is insecurity. One of the most important attitudes that women want in a man is security. Is there any wonder why we are having so many relational problems today? Too many men are struggling with their insecurity so they can’t bring a sense of security to the women they are trying to get close to. The problem for many men is they think being secure is being full of pride. This is because many men assume that men who are full of pride are secure. However, this isn’t the case most of the time. Many men hide their insecurity by inflating themselves with pride.
On today’s show, we discuss the need for security among men and why women want it in their men. We also discuss what real security is and why it isn’t the bad version of pride.
Security=Combination of being Genuinly Humble and Confident
-
It’s all about Knowing who you are, Where you are headed in life, and being comfortable with yourself.
-
When a man is secure in who he is, people (including women) usually want to be around them
Pride hides weaknesses
-
Because pride is like self-worship, it lives in denial
-
Prideful men don’t want others to see them mess up and they work hard to maintain their “image”
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Women don’t like men who lie to themselves because they will often lie to everyone else to maintain their image
Security laughs at weaknesses
-
A secure man knows that he is a human being with strengths and weaknesses, and is ok with that.
-
Secure men are ok with telling you how they messed up
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Women like a man who doesn’t take themselves too seriously.
-
Pride puts others down
-
When a man is quick to put others down, it is his pride showing
-
Insecure men are often the ones who have to make fun of others so they feel good about themselves
-
Security lifts people up
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Secure men realize other people are human beings with imperfections and know when to cut them slack.
-
They know that other people are growing too.
-
This doesn’t mean secure men don’t hold people accountable
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Women don’t want a man to be a dictator that tears them down- they want a man that believes in them and lifts them up.
Challenge:
-
Ask yourself, “How do I treat people who can do nothing for me?” store clerk, Walmart check out, waiter, or waitress
-
We must be willing to look at our life honestly and see if our motivations are based on pride or security
-
Thriving men are secure men
-
This doesn’t mean we are perfect but it means we are on a journey of growth and positive change
-
You will be a better man and women will find you more attractive
Watch and Enjoy!
David & Reese Maxwell
RESOURCES TO HELP YOU THRIVE AS A MAN
========================
Thriving Man Coaching Resources:
https://www.thrivingman.com/coaching
4D MODEL FREE PDF
Learn about the 4 fundamentals of a Successful Life
https://www.thrivingman.com/the-4d-model
FIND OUT ABOUT OUR SPEAKING AND HOW WE HAVE EMPOWERED THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE ACROSS THE WORLD
https://www.thrivingman.com/speaking
What is the secret of becoming more attractive to women? Bigger biceps? Being flush with cash? Washboard abs? All of these may get you attention but if you want a deep meaningful relationship they won’t be the most attractive thing to a woman of quality. The most important thing you can do to become more attractive is to be AUTHENTIC.
Authenticity is one of the most attractive things to women. In this week’s episode, we talk through why authenticity is so important and give you three things you can do to be a more authentic man.
1 - Leave the Acting to Professionals
-
Too many of us play parts and act instead of just being ourselves
-
We want to focus on living authentically and not act the way we think we “should”
-
Too often men role-play in their life
-
They get so used to playing a part, they never really figure themselves out
-
Many men are so busy trying to win or keep a girl that they never really figure out who they are in their core
2 - Don’t Run from Reflection
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Being yourself means you have to know yourself
-
Self-examination is a foreign concept to many men
-
A lot of men, were never given an example of what being an authentic man looks like growing up
-
We are talking about really knowing yourself and being confident in who you really are as a person
-
You grow authentically and people around you help you in that process because they know the real you
3 - Don’t Grow Alone
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Knowing yourself doesn't mean you don't grow and change
-
The best way to intentionally know how to grow and change is to know yourself authentically
-
Invite her on the journey.
-
When you open up the real you and help her to see how you think and feel about life and everything, you will become much more attractive to her
-
Being emotionally connected and making each other better? Now THAT’s attractive.
Rejoice: You don’t have to have a six-pack or be a millionaire to attract and keep a great woman. You just have to be the best version of yourself.
CHALLENGE:
-
Some questions to help you:
-
What are your passions?
-
What are your beliefs about life?
-
What foundations do you have in your life
-
These are important because they are your core
Watch and Enjoy!
David & Reese Maxwell
RESOURCES TO HELP YOU THRIVE AS A MAN
========================
Thriving Man Coaching Resources:
https://www.thrivingman.com/coaching
4D MODEL FREE PDF
Learn about the 4 fundamentals of a Successful Life
https://www.thrivingman.com/the-4d-model
FIND OUT ABOUT OUR SPEAKING AND HOW WE HAVE EMPOWERED THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE ACROSS THE WORLD
https://www.thrivingman.com/speaking
We have to keep our phones powered up or we can’t function like normal. We have to keep our cars full of gas or electric charge, or they become useless. Our goals work similarly. We have to fuel our goals the right way or they are just another dream that we have with nothing motivating their completion.
Today on the show we discuss the main fuel each of us should have behind our goals: purpose. Purpose is the why behind our goals and without it we will often fail to stay motivated and push through the hard part of our goals. We discuss how purpose fuels our goals and how to make sure you have the right kind of purpose in your life.
Purpose Starts with Self-Leadership/Ownership/Saying no to yourself/Self Discipline* We must choose to take responsibility for ourselves. * We cannot live on purpose unless we can lead ourselves * Our intentions won’t get past our appetites unless we lead ourselves
Purpose Lives Outside the Ordinary* Ordinary is part of a healthy life, but we have to make sure our purpose rises above the ordinary * Too often men make the ordinary parts of life become their purpose. * Making our purpose the ordinary things of life can distract us from living with a purpose that impacts our world * The biggest example is provision
Purpose is Sabotaged by Insecurity* Insecurity: Someone who is trying to prove themselves to others and themselves. * An insecure man cannot live on purpose because he is living to fulfill the security that is missing inside of himself. * Some men live their whole lives seeking affirmation they didn’t get as a child and it sabotages their life and their ability to pass on a positive legacy to their children * Their insecurity is never dealt with so they pass it on to the next generation
CHALLENGE:* Take some time to dig through your life and look at what is your purpose * Is your purpose survival? Is your purpose money? * What are you living for? * Don’t just accept what other people say a purpose is * Find the purpose God has designed you for and the motivation for your goals will flow from that
We finish up our series on goals this week by talking about one of the key outside ingredients for success: Allies. Allies are the people we surround ourselves with. We do have a choice of who our friends are and who we spend our time with. This is a key ingredient in how you succeed as a man. Pick the right friends and you are more likely to grow and meet your goals. Pick the wrong friends and you can get pulled back or even brought down to never even try to reach your goals.
We dive into what makes someone an ally and how to find the right kinds of allies. Then we talk about some practical ways to connect with potential allies.
What is an Ally? Ally - “To unite or connect in a personal relationship, as in friendship or marriage.” * Tribe* is a common term used and it can mean the same thing * However, we have to be careful because a friendship group that you call a tribe can be allies for you or they may be the opposite.
How to Recognize an Ally:Allies Don’t Sabotage Your Life* Men who are your allies push you to be better-they don’t push you to be stupid * The problem is so many men are lonely today, they often get into a tribe that doesn’t help them be better as men * If you are part of a group that after you spend time with them you are often filled with regret (or you can’t remember what you did) those guys aren’t allies
Allies Build You Up* Real allies are men who will care about you where you are at in life, but push you and challenge you to be better. * They don’t take themselves or you too seriously, they are relaxed around you and you feel relaxed around them * These are the type of guys you can argue with about the greatest truck, video game, or sports team around today for an hour, but you can also go deep about what is happening in your family right now * Men were created for these types of friendships * Our friendships should not just be about us, but our friends should encourage us to be better men and not basic men.
Where Do I Find Allies? Finding allies isn’t something that happens by accident * Men who are potential allies are often guys you share values and interests* with * The place you will never find a true ally is sitting at home alone
CHALLENGE:How Do I Recruit Allies?* Finding a group of men to be allies can happen but it takes some intentional effort * Get out and around other men * Be the instigator of relationships * Get curious about others and their lives * Seek to spend more time with those you feel a natural connection with * Create goals/resolutions together
This week we are discussing how we can sabotage our own goals. This isn’t something we do intentionally, but we often hurt ourselves and our goals by not thinking through some key areas.
We dive into the evaluation needed to come up with real goals and not just the common goals of everyone else.
Then we have to evaluate our goals to make sure they fit our current needs.
Evaluate Yourself
-
The Mirror Test
-
Be honest with ourselves without judgment
-
Get outside input
Evaluate Your Goals
Goal Type 1: Stopping the Harmful
-
One of the main reasons we make goals is to stop doing something that is hurting us or hurting others we are in a relationship with
-
Ignoring something won’t fix it
-
Get help checking your blind spots
Goal Type 2: Building a Strength
-
Every man is good at something, find what it is and improve it
-
Goals aren’t just for the bad areas but are also to help us get better at things we are good at already
-
This helps us stay motivated with our goals
-
This benefits our attitude and relationships
Enjoy!
David & Reese Maxwell
RESOURCES TO HELP YOU THRIVE AS A MAN
========================
Thriving Man Coaching Resources:
https://www.thrivingman.com/coaching
4D MODEL FREE PDF
Learn about the 4 fundamentals of a Successful Life
https://www.thrivingman.com/the-4d-model
FIND OUT ABOUT OUR SPEAKING AND HOW WE HAVE EMPOWERED THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE ACROSS THE WORLD
https://www.thrivingman.com/speaking
Are your resolutions and goals for the new year wrecked already? Many men barely make it through January with their resolutions. Why is that?
Well, in this week's episode, we are going to look at why so many men are failing at their goals. The problem isn’t the goal but that too few men build a strategy around their goal. We will discuss why you need a strategy for your goal and what benefits you get from a well-thought-out strategy.
-
Strategy forces your goal to become specific and take away the glamor of the goal
-
Strategy shows the sacrifice that is required
-
Sticking to the strategy makes the goal achievable and sustainable
Watch and Enjoy!
David & Reese Maxwell
RESOURCES TO HELP YOU THRIVE AS A MAN
========================
Thriving Man Coaching Resources:
https://www.thrivingman.com/coaching
4D MODEL FREE PDF
Learn about the 4 fundamentals of a Successful Life
https://www.thrivingman.com/the-4d-model
FIND OUT ABOUT OUR SPEAKING AND HOW WE HAVE EMPOWERED THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE ACROSS THE WORLD
https://www.thrivingman.com/speaking
This week we highlight our Number 1 podcast episode of 2023.
Take this opportunity to check it out and let's overcome our insecurity as men!
Insecurity: The Mental Game
This week we are dealing with one of the biggest barriers to our success as men: insecurity. A lot of men deal with insecurity and they do it in ways we think of, but also in ways we don't think of.
We will talk through the definition of insecurity and what it looks like. Then we will talk through some of the symptoms of insecurity. We will also share different stories of the different effects of insecurity.
-
Define Insecurity
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Symptoms of insecurity
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Overly passive
- Overly aggressive
- Needing Outside Affirmation
- Busyness
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Image obsession
-
Stories of Insecurity
Watch and Enjoy!
David & Reese Maxwell
RESOURCES TO HELP YOU THRIVE AS A MAN
========================
Thriving Man Coaching Resources:
https://www.thrivingman.com/coaching
4D MODEL FREE PDF
Learn about the 4 fundamentals of a Successful Life
https://www.thrivingman.com/the-4d-model
FIND OUT ABOUT OUR SPEAKING AND HOW WE HAVE EMPOWERED THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE ACROSS THE WORLD
https://www.thrivingman.com/speaking
This week we talk through the need we all have for a community when it comes to our spiritual life. Serving God isn’t meant to be done on our own. We do focus on the individual parts of prayer, Bible reading, and Bible study, but we are called to be part of the community of God which is the church.
We talk through what community looks like for us and how we can be part of the community for others.
The People Connection
Christianity is meant to be a group project
God said it isn’t good for man to be alone
God wants us to serve Him in community
Gifts and abilities are multiplied
The Family Connection
Families are designed to support each other and make each other better.
Our culture is broken and many people don’t know what it is to be part of a healthy family, that is why the church exists
We are adopted into God’s family through the sacrifice of Jesus.
The Serving Connection
Serving the church
Serving the community with the church
Serving is something that connects us to others
We aren’t designed to live just for ourselves
When you think of someone else and serve them it helps you
RESOURCES TO HELP YOU THRIVE AS A MAN
========================
Thriving Man Coaching Resources:
https://www.thrivingman.com/coaching
4D MODEL FREE PDF
Learn about the 4 fundamentals of a Successful Life
https://www.thrivingman.com/the-4d-model
FIND OUT ABOUT OUR SPEAKING AND HOW WE HAVE EMPOWERED THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE ACROSS THE WORLD
https://www.thrivingman.com/33a95f95-e8bb-434b-81e6-50651fe143dd
This week we dive into the basics of prayer. Many people hear about prayer, but not many people put it into practice.
We discuss prayer and how God created us to be in a relationship with Him. We also clear up the misconceptions many people have when it comes to prayer
Prayer is Natural
Adam and Eve were designed to live in a constant state of relationship with God
Jesus came to restore that relationship
We were designed to be connected to God
Prayer isn’t a last resort
Prayer is Personal
Every person is different and they communicate differently
When people get married they figure out what works for them as they implement the universal truth of marriage
The same is true with us, we take the truth of God and implement it the way He designed us.
Prayer is Relational
Relationships take communication, connection, and TIME.
Many people think that serving God is just about following “the rules” but it is more than that.
Serving God is getting so close that the behavior of obeying Him comes naturally
The closer we get to God, the less sin will tempt us
Find more resources to help you as a man at Thriving Man
This is a special bonus episode of the Thriving Man Podcast. In this show, I interviewed author Allen Chapin. Allen has written 5 books, and we discuss his book "Listen." This book came from a year-long journey Allen went on of listening to God each morning. He talks about that season and gives us some tips about how to hear from God.
We also discuss some of his journey as a man and how men poured into him and made a difference in his life.
Find out more about Allen at allenchapin.com
You ask 50 people about how to connect with God and likely you’ll get at least 50 different answers and maybe even more!
Many people think the only way to connect with God is some secret hack that only a few people know. The truth is quite the opposite.
God tells us how to connect with Him and the way we do it is pretty simple. On today’s show, we talk about the first we way connect and that is through the Bible.
What the Bible Is
- The Bible is a collection of 66 books- with one common thread: they contain the story of God and humanity
- It is a collection of different books from different authors that all teach timeless principles
- It has the most manuscript evidence of any major book of antiquity
What the Bible is Not
- The Bible was not written to be a self-help book
- The Bible has all the different styles and stories to give us a picture of the full character of God
- The Bible also isn’t a book of secrets or codes
Why We Have to Dig
- The design of the Bible was made so we can spend a lifetime digging into it and learning more about God
- God is infinite and the more we study the Bible the more we learn about Him and the closer we get to Him
- Knowing the Bible without knowing God Himself is not good
CHALLENGE:
- Begin digging into the Bible yourself
- Be willing to do the work and your relationship with God will grow
- This will make you a much stronger man
- Helpful Links
- https://bibleproject.com/
- https://firebible.org/
The spiritual side is often left out in many men’s lives. They focus on other stuff and figure that the spiritual is something for the background or they just ignore it. The problem with this is our spiritual side is the root system of our life as men. If we ignore it, we won’t be able to fully thrive as men.
This week we start a series of podcasts focusing on the spiritual side of life for men. Today’s show helps us to understand why the spiritual side is the most important in our lives.
Why the Spiritual is the Root System of Our Lives
- We are both physical and spiritual creatures
- Too many men have gotten away from that and have become creatures of their appetites
- We can live a better life, but we must choose to align with the spiritual reality beyond ourselves.
The Design of Our Spiritual Roots
- We were designed by God in a specific way
- When we try to live outside of our design it isn’t good
- Spiritual living is not just going to church, but it is living out the reality of the way we were created
The Integration of Spiritual Health
- Men often try to separate the spiritual part from the rest of their life
- The best change in our life is a spiritual change
- Many of the problems we deal with today come from spiritual deficiencies
CHALLENGE:
- Do you give the Spiritual side attention? Are you the master of your life, or God?
- More information about our connection to God - www.jesus.net
We continue talking about how to build up your confidence this week. Too many men think that confidence is something you are born with, but that is not true.
Your confidence can grow as you build up one main thing in your life: Courage.
We continue this week by talking about some of the key ways you can build your courage so you grow in confidence in every area of your life.
-
Courage is the Result of Emotional Strength
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Courage Starts with Micro-Courage
Is confidence something you are born with or something you can grow? Many men struggle with their confidence and think it is something that “Some guys have and some guys don’t.”
However, the truth is very different. Every man can build his confidence up. How does he do it? Through Courage.
This week's show we start talking about the importance of courage when it comes to our confidence.
-
Courage is the Pathway to Confidence
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Courage is the Result of Emotional Strength
We got so into this week's topic we had to turn it into 2 shows! We’ll continue it next week.
On today’s show, we are talking about the power of awareness when it comes to our emotions. Emotional awareness is an untapped resource in many men’s lives.
They are missing out on a powerful resource that can help them succeed in every area of their lives.
We will deal with the 3 keys to build emotional awareness. If we tackle these, we will see our awareness grow.
Key 1 - Willing
- We have to be willing to live in reality
Key 2 - Honest
- Honest about ourselves in every way
Key 3 - Active
- Honesty doesn’t help unless we are willing to deal with the things we need to change
Challenge:
- Get honest and start taking action in one emotional area of your life that you have been ignoring.
- Take small steps and don’t try to fix every area at once.
Getting stronger emotionally is something we have to do with others. When we try to do everything by ourselves, we usually end up failing.
On today’s show, we talk about why we need to think of getting stronger emotionally as a team sport.
When you have a team around you and when you are part of someone else’s team, you become a much better man.
Jump into the show and learn why we need other men to get stronger emotionally.
Why We Need People for Emotional Success
-More People Multiplies Our Power
-We Get in Our Own Heads
-Blind Spots
-Blind Spot Negatives
-Blind Spot Positives
Challenge:
Get around good guys who help you want to be better. Here are some questions to help you:
-Does hanging out with these people make us want to be better or worse?
-Does hanging out with these people make us want to live out our values or follow our base appetites?
The words Emotions and Men are often not part of the same sentence. Many men would say they aren’t emotional and many women would agree!
However, this is just not true. All men have emotions even if they don’t know what they are. Men were created with emotions and if they want to thrive they need to harness the power of their emotions.
On today’s show, we talk about why men should be emotionally strong. We talk about what that looks like and dispel many of the myths out there about men and their emotions.
-The Difference Between being Emotional and being a Man of Emotional Strength
-Surface Problems are often caused by Emotional Root Problems.
-Why Emotions are Important to Our Thriving as Men
Many men live under the lie that their thoughts are something they can’t control. They think their brains are stuck a certain way. This can demoralize them and make them want to quit.
It doesn’t have to be that way! We have a lot more control over our thoughts than we realize. However, making changes to them must be done on purpose and correctly.
In today’s show, we give you three simple steps to help you begin the process of changing your thoughts
-
Recognize Your Thoughts
-
Challenge Your Thoughts
-
Pick Your Thought
Challenge:
-
What thoughts need to change in my life?
-
What kind of new input do I need to help me change my thoughts?
On today’s show, we are talking through the dirty lies of narcissism. We are focusing on the side of narcissism which causes us to have an excessive preoccupation with ourselves.
These cause us to have a mindset that is filled with lies that end up hurting us and those we come in contact with. At the end of the show, we give you some questions to help you assess yourself in your thinking.
The Dirty Lies of Narcissism
1) “Life is about Making Me Happy” AKA The Disney Disease.
2) “It’s not My Fault”
3) “Everything Should Go My Way”
This week we are talking about one of the most influential pillars of our thoughts: Atmosphere.
We will talk about what atmosphere we are surrounding our mind with and how it affects us. We will deal with many practicals and even get in your business a little bit!
What you surround yourself with will affect your thoughts which will affect your life. Creating a better atmosphere can instantly improve your thinking.
Content
- What you’re allowing in your mind
Place
- The power of your environment
People
- The reality of peer pressure and negative thoughts
CHALLENGE
- What can you do to bring good influences and atmospheres to your life consistently?
Sorry this got posted late, we’ve been traveling.
This week we begin focusing on the mental side of our life as men. We will often not think about how we think because we focus on “getting stuff done.”
This is good, but if we don’t intentionally direct our thoughts we can’t be our best as men.
This week we focus on how our thinking affects us today and who we become tomorrow.
Thinking Affects Who We Are
- Thinking as a roadblock
- Thinking as an asset
Thinking Affects Who We Are Becoming
- Thinking is not about getting something, it's about becoming someone
CHALLENGE
How is cynicism affecting your everyday thought life?
The food wars we are talking about today have nothing to do with cooking shows like Chopped or Iron Chef. We talk about how food and the whole diet industry have really made it difficult to eat or know what to eat.
We cover some of the realities of food and why so many people struggle with their eating. We also talk about finding some sustainable ways to control your own nutrition.
We do that by talking about the realities of the food wars and we also give you 2 quick strategies to help you win the food war!
One of the most essential parts of a healthy life and one of the most ignored in our culture is SLEEP!
If you are ignoring your sleep, you are purposely hurting yourself. You won’t be able to live your best life and certainly won’t thrive if you don’t sleep enough.
On today’s show, we talk about some of the critical aspects of sleep and we end with some self-reflecting questions to help you start prioritizing sleep.
Why Do We Sleep?
What Happens When We Sleep?
Why We Don’t Sleep.
The Super Power of Sleep
Questions About Sleep
- Are you getting enough sleep?
- What is keeping you from getting enough sleep?
- What are some things you can start doing tonight to start prioritizing sleep? Pick one and do it starting tonight. (Start with putting your phone to bed in another room!!)
One of the biggest things that hurts men when it comes to their physical health is lies. Not the lies that we see in society about healthiness, but the lies we tell ourselves.
We are going to deal with the 3 biggest lies that happen inside the minds of men and how to fight them.
Plus, we reference a song from one of David’s favorite 80’s bands. Leave a comment saying who it is if you know….
Lie 1 - “I Can’t”
Lie 2 - All or Nothing
Lie 3 - Comparison
This week we are starting a series on improving our physical health as men. Sometimes life gets so busy that our physical health gets forgotten. This can hurt our overall effectiveness because it keeps us from bringing our best to life.
We deal with the basic need for physical health and how it's fundamental to our lives. We talk through why men are more physical by nature. The reality of our lack of physical movement in today’s virtual world is something we also discuss fully. We then close by talking through the need to start and how physical health isn’t something to just wish for.
We also talk about our latest course Physical Success 101. This is our first digital course and is designed to help you focus on the most important areas of physical health. We are running a special with the launch: Buy the course in September and get 1 free coaching session. Don’t miss this opportunity! Get more information at www.thrivingman.com
Success is a pretty overused word. There are about 10,000 different definitions spoken by different people, and most of them don’t agree. We don’t really care about what they say, the question we care about is this: "What does success mean to you?" In this show, we will be discussing the true nature of success (which is probably not what you think) and we will end with a great first step to beginning the journey towards it yourself.
Success is individual
Universal Principles = Fundamentals.
Where do we start? Mirror Time.
Mirror Time Challenge
Today we discuss one of the key principles that can transform our lives: Success is Inside Out! As men, we must start living a successful life within or the outside success won’t last. We’ve all seen men who look successful for a while and then their life crashes and burns. We don’t want to be that way. We want to be men who live successfully in the long term.
We discuss the key elements of the “Success is Inside Out” mentality:
- Thriving in one area of your life will help you thrive in other areas
- Thriving Man Fundamentals
- Physical
- Emotional
- Mental
- Spiritual
- There are many things we can’t control in our life, but we can control what is going on inside of us.
Check out our resources to help men thrive at www.thrivingman.com
When things are hard or uncomfortable many men will give up but in an active way. They don’t just quit, but they focus on other areas of their life to avoid the hard areas. This happens especially when men feel confused or insecure.
We talk through what actively giving up looks like and some main ways men change their focus.
- Actively Giving Up
- Busyness
- Escapism
- Truth
- Challenge
- What areas of your life are you avoiding?
- Pick one area to lean into and not avoid and start working on getting better in that one area.
Insecurity: The Mental Game
This week we are dealing with one of the biggest barriers to our success as men: insecurity. A lot of men deal with insecurity and they do it in ways we think of, but also in ways we don't think of.
We will talk through the definition of insecurity and what it looks like. Then we will talk through some of the symptoms of insecurity. We will also share different stories of the different effects of insecurity.
1.. Define Insecurity
-
Symptoms of insecurity
-
Stories of Insecurity
Enjoy!
David & Reese Maxwell
RESOURCES TO HELP YOU THRIVE AS A MAN
========================
Thriving Man Coaching Resources:
https://www.thrivingman.com/coaching
4D MODEL FREE PDF
Learn about the 4 fundamentals of a Successful Life
https://www.thrivingman.com/the-4d-model
FIND OUT ABOUT OUR SPEAKING AND HOW WE HAVE EMPOWERED THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE ACROSS THE WORLD
https://www.thrivingman.com/33a95f95-e8bb-434b-81e6-50651fe143dd
INTRODUCING THE THRIVING MAN PODCAST!!
We have changed the name of the podcast and added another person to the show. Reese is joining us and we are super pumped to work together to help men build a life they can be proud of.
In this episode, we explain how this change came about.
Plus we talk about one of the biggest barriers to our growth as men.
Confusion:
- Lack of instruction
- Society’s messages to men
- Why is it a Problem
CHALLENGE
Hard questions:
- What is my frame of reference from the past?
- Are there any assumptions I have accepted from the toxic messages of society?
Check out more resources to help you as a man at David Maxwell Coaching
Get ready for Thriving Man Podcast NEXT WEEK!!
Mental Work
- Journey Mentality
- Deal with Your Roots
- Dangerous food realities
- Improve your letter grade
The Confident Man Podcast will become The Thriving Man Podcast starting the first Wednesday in August!
We are going to a whole new level when it comes to empowering men!
Food is a part of life; everyone has to eat, and we all recognize that. However, the problem with food is the reality that so many men are fighting obesity. Obesity is having a body fat percentage of 30% and up. In the US, 75% of men over 40 are obese!
The truth all of us, as men have to face, is our food is a big part of this problem. What we eat and how much we eat play the primary part in our fatness. We have to learn how to focus on our food the right way because there are too many crazy theories and attitudes about food that are just plain wrong.
The Food Did It!
- One of the easiest things to do when we gain weight is to blame
- Quit Blaming the Food
- Losing Weight is About the Food
- We have to quit trying to make the food behave
- Our obesity issue as men is not the food's fault
The Art of Self-Control
- Self-control is not a popular topic to talk about when it comes to losing weight
- The truth is eating better and eating less is the key for most men
- We have to become more intentional about our eating
- We need to have a purpose for our eating
- We need to understand that we don't have to eat it all!
- When we understand our part in our own weight issues it empowers us
- The benefit of growing stronger in your self-control is you start to see the benefits in every area of your life
The Food Quality Focus
- If we are going to take our weight seriously and battle obesity, we must take a look at our food and what we eat
- Quality food truth
- Quality food work
- Quality food goal
- Quality food snob
- Let quality win over quantity and you will find long-term success
Increase Your Worth as a Man!
Attend the High-Value Man One Day Intensive. Use the code "Podcast" and get $50.00 off!
www.theconfidentman.me
Fat and obesity are a reality among men today. It isn't a very comfortable subject for us to discuss, but we must face the truth. The overweight epidemic among men is hurting their ability to live their best life. It adds all kinds of stress and hurts men in many different ways.
We should care about this as men because we are stewards of our bodies. When one area, like our weight, is off track it can hurt us in many different areas of our lives.
The Reality of Fat Men
- Obesity is defined as having a body mass index (BMI) of 30 or higher
- The worldwide obesity rate has nearly doubled since 1980
- The World Obesity Federation predicts that by 2030, one in seven men will have obesity
- Obesity affects about 75% of men 40 years or older in the United States
- The slow creep of weight gain
- FORMULA FOR CALCULATING YOUR BMI = 703 × weight (lbs) / [height (in)]2
How Fat Hurts Us
- Medically
- Abilities
- Clothes
- Morale
- Our Example
The Sources of Fat
- People can become overweight for many reasons
- However, the majority of men have one main source of their fat: Themselves
- We are responsible for what we eat
- Self-Control is something we need to practice and it starts with ourselves
- We have to be leaders of ourselves
- Fighting and battling were what we were created for
Mentioned in this episode:
High Value Man Intensive
Join us in July for one of our High-Value Man intensives. Increase your worth as a Man!
Increase Your Worth as a Man!
Attend the High-Value Man One-Day Intensive. Use the code "Podcast" and get $50.00 off!
www.theconfidentman.me
Expectations are a part of life. We all have them and we all live with them.
What about our health? What should our expectations be for our health? Men often live on the extremes of their health, they either never think of it or they worship their own health.
The reality of our health is important and we should think about it but in a balanced way. This will help us live a sustainably healthy life and be stronger as men
Recognize Outside Pressure
- One of the first things we want to do is take a moment to recognize the outside pressure that we have as men
- There is pressure on men to look a certain way
- Men throughout history have wanted to look a certain way
- When it comes to our health we have to think about why we feel pressure
- We have to desire to be healthy for the benefits and not to give in to some type of pressure society is putting on us
- Your main goal is to be healthy so you can fulfill your calling as a man
Have a Realistic View of Life
- One of the best things we can do when it comes to being healthy is to be realistic
- Time Realities
- It's Not all or Nothing
- Your Health is Part of Your Life
- The Cost of Health
Let Your Journey Unfold
- Living healthy is a journey, not a destination
- It is a lifestyle that you continually live
- The thing we need to remember is the journey is very individualistic
- Growing
- Variety
- Seasons
Mentioned in this episode:
High Value Man Intensive
Join us in July for one of our High-Value Man intensives. Increase your worth as a Man!
Increase Your Worth as a Man!
Attend the High-Value Man One Day Intensive. Use the code "Podcast" and get $50.00 off!
www.theconfidentman.me
Many men live today on the edge of a mental breakdown. They are so stressed and so busy that their brain has a hard time coping. As men, one of the best things we can do is treat our brains like an engine. When we see our brain as an engine, we are able to think through many of the ways to make it healthier.
Taking care of our brains is one of the most important things we can do to live a more powerful and impacting life.
Brain Engine Capacity
- Our minds have a huge capacity and sometimes we forget this
- Limitations are often self-imposed
- Belief Limiters
- Confidence vs Cockiness
- Our beliefs of ourselves are often formed in our convictions
- Attitude Limiters
- Many men limit their brain's capacity with their own attitudes
- Deflection
- Attention
Brain Engine Fuel
- Our brains don't necessarily have one fuel source, but what we put in does affect our brain
- What things are you inputting into your brain regularly?
- Junk Fuel
- Healthy Fuel
Brain Engine Upkeep
- Rest
- Sleep
- Recreation
- Tuneups
- Deep thinking about purpose and direction
- Repairs
- Repairing wrong thinking
- Types of Repairs
- DIY
- Professional
Mentioned in this episode:
High Value Man Intensive
Join us in July for one of our High-Value Man intensives. Increase your worth as a Man!
Increase Your Worth as a Man!
Attend the High-Value Man One-Day Intensive. Use the code "Podcast" and get $50.00 off!
www.theconfidentman.me
I recommend getting and reading Henry Cloud's book "Trust" for yourself
https://www.amazon.com/Trust-Knowing-When-Withhold-Broken/dp/1546003371
Trust is something we all have and we are designed to use it and live our lives with it. This is because life is better and we enjoy it more when we can trust. We don't carry around extra stress, worry, or fear.
The great thing about trust is it acts just like a muscle. It is something that you can make stronger. You aren't stuck with a specific level of trust no matter what has happened to you in the past.
The Trust Muscle Reality
- We all have a trust muscle
- It may be weak or strong based on our life experiences
- We should work to recognize the reality of our trust
- How trusting am I?
- How trustworthy am I?
- What's my trust pattern?
The Trust Muscle Rehab
- We need to know some steps to recover if our trust has been broken
- Trust is built by changing our focus
- Trust comes from deep relationships
- Trust demands empathy
The Trust Muscle Growth Plan
- We have to do some intentional things to help build our trust muscles
- Understand the Risk
- Look at Our Reflections
- Deal with the Garbage
Mentioned in this episode:
High Value Man Intensive
Join us in July for one of our High-Value Man intensives. Increase your worth as a Man!
Increase Your Worth as a Man!
Attend the High-Value Man One-Day Intensive. Use the code "Podcast" and get $50.00 off!
www.theconfidentman.me
As men, we are really good at beating ourselves up. Too often, we struggle with perfectionism and have an inner critic living inside our heads. This affects our attitudes and our actions each day. Plus, it affects our relationships and our ability to connect with others.
We must learn why we tend to beat ourselves up and what we can do to overcome that tendency.
The Spotlight Focus
- Many of us have in our thinking we are under a spotlight and everyone is watching us
- What do you notice?
- We aren't the center
- Focus on Others
- Life is not about us, yet we often put that kind of pressure on ourselves
- Take the focus off yourself and start thinking of others and you will enjoy life a whole lot more
The Attitude Adjustment
- Beating ourselves up often has to do with our sense of perfectionism
- We have to change our own attitude and this takes intentional work
- Name the attitude
- Focus on your growth
- Laugh at Yourself
The Journey Focus
- Here are some things we can do to keep a journey focus
- Think Long-Term
- Choose Progress
- Keep moving
Mentioned in this episode:
High Value Man Intensive
Join us in July for one of our High-Value Man intensives. Increase your worth as a Man!
Finish the year strong! Attend the High-Value Man One-Day Intensive! Use the code "Podcast" and save $50
www.theconfidentman.me
(Please excuse the audio, the mic had issues I didn't realize until it was done)
Many men struggle with a stagnant mind
This causes our minds to atrophy and not stay fresh
Intentional Input
- Use it or lose it is a common phrase you hear
- Sometimes we don't realize how little we are using the full capacity of our minds
- If we don't intentionally work our minds, they will lose their full potential just like our muscles
- Intentional Input Tips
- Reading
- Watching Different Things
- New Routines
- New Hobby's
- New Music
- New People
- New Events
- The key is to do something intentional
Intentional Contemplation
- Men should take back the mantle of deep thinking
- Men have always been deep thinkers and we should do that with intentionality
- Find an Overall Mindset
- Find Ways to Challenge Your Thoughts
- Find Time for Deep Focus
Intentional Thermostat
- What are we doing to set the "temperature" of our brain
- In other words, what are you doing to create an active and engaging mind
- Our Mental Health
- Our Attitudes
- Our Input
- As men, we set the thermostat of our brains
Mentioned in this episode:
High Value Man Intensive
Join us in July for one of our High-Value Man intensives. Increase your worth as a Man!
You can be a Great Dad! Learn about my course Dads: Secrets to Success at www.theconfidentman.me
Check out more resources to help you as a man at David Maxwell Coaching
Many people are living life with a longing for positive affirmation from their fathers. The problem is how hard it is for them. A majority grew up without a dad around. Some had a dad who didn't understand the power of his words and never gave that gift to their children. Many times it's because our dads didn't get it from their dads.
The reality is our words are powerful as dads. Even if we don't have kids, those we mentor and lead need to feel the power of our words.
As men, we must learn the power of our words and how to use them to build others up, especially our own children.
SPEAK LIFE
- We should use our words to speak life into our kids
- How to speak life
- Tailor your words to the individual
- Practice self-control
- Dangers to Life Speaking
- Being a Critic
- Substance Dangers
- The Confusion of Silence
- Life Speaking Practicals
- Praise the Good
- Call Out the Bad
- Challenge Them To Rise Up
SPEAK LOVE
- Love is both Action and Words
- Action
- We show love by doing for others
- Most men are good at this and it is an important part
- Showing someone that they are important to you through your actions is an everyday way they can see your love
- Words
- Saying I love you or speaking life as we talked about earlier can be a struggle for men
- Maybe you never had anyone do it to you so you have to learn as you go
- It is worth the effort and hard work because it pays off huge with your kids
- Intentional love is something that is shown to each individual
- Love recognizes their individuality
- You love them not for who you want them to be but for who they are
SPEAK DIRECTION
- Kids lack wisdom and they need direction
- Direction has almost become two extreme options today
- There is almost a fear of people directing their kids and helping them with their life
- The other extreme is the helicopter mode
- These are actually two different types of control
- Direction is different from control
- Direction is the big picture and control is specific
- Keys for Giving Direction
- Intimacy
- Thought
- Vision
Mentioned in this episode:
Dads: Secrets to Success
Many dads struggle with the thought “Am I doing this right?” Being a father is hard because every child is different and life is incredibly busy. What if you had a plan? What if you had some guidance to help you be an incredible Dad? Well, now you do with the course Dads: Secrets to Success This is a 4 video course designed to empower you and give you confidence as you help your children grow. You’ll learn things like the power of security and how to help your kids have it. You’ll also learn how to know the seasons that your kids are in and what they need from you as a dad. Quit wondering if you are doing it right. Start being a successful dad today!
You can be a Great Dad! Learn about my course Dads: Secrets to Success at www.theconfidentman.me
Check out more resources to help you as a man at David Maxwell Coaching
Many people are living life with a longing for positive affirmation from their fathers. The problem is how hard it is for them. A majority grew up without a dad around. Some had a dad who didn't understand the power of his words and never gave that gift to their children. Many times it's because our dads didn't get it from their dads.
The reality is our words are powerful as dads. Even if we don't have kids, those we mentor and lead need to feel the power of our words.
As men, we must learn the power of our words and how to use them to build others up, especially our own children.
SPEAK LIFE
- We should use our words to speak life into our kids
- How to speak life
- Tailor your words to the individual
- Practice self-control
- Dangers to Life Speaking
- Being a Critic
- Substance Dangers
- The Confusion of Silence
- Life Speaking Practicals
- Praise the Good
- Call Out the Bad
- Challenge Them To Rise Up
SPEAK LOVE
- Love is both Action and Words
- Action
- We show love by doing for others
- Most men are good at this and it is an important part
- Showing someone that they are important to you through your actions is an everyday way they can see your love
- Words
- Saying I love you or speaking life as we talked about earlier can be a struggle for men
- Maybe you never had anyone do it to you so you have to learn as you go
- It is worth the effort and hard work because it pays off huge with your kids
- Intentional love is something that is shown to each individual
- Love recognizes their individuality
- You love them not for who you want them to be but for who they are
SPEAK DIRECTION
- Kids lack wisdom and they need direction
- There is almost a fear of people directing their kids and helping them with their life
- The other extreme is the helicopter mode
- These are actually two different types of control
- Direction is different from control
- Direction is the big picture and control is specific
- Keys for Giving Direction
- Intimacy
- Thought
- Vision
Mentioned in this episode:
Dads: Secrets to Success
Many dads struggle with the thought “Am I doing this right?” Being a father is hard because every child is different and life is incredibly busy.What if you had a plan?What if you had some guidance to help you be an incredible Dad?Well, now you do with the course Dads: Secrets to SuccessThis is a 4 video course designed to empower you and give you confidence as you help your children grow.You’ll learn things like the power of security and how to help your kids have it.You’ll also learn how to know the seasons that your kids are in and what they need from you as a dad.Quit wondering if you are doing it right.Start being a successful dad today!
Dads: Secrets to Success
Many dads struggle with the thought “Am I doing this right?” Being a father is hard because every child is different and life is incredibly busy.What if you had a plan?What if you had some guidance to help you be an incredible Dad?Well, now you do with the course Dads: Secrets to SuccessThis is a 4 video course designed to empower you and give you confidence as you help your children grow.You’ll learn things like the power of security and how to help your kids have it.You’ll also learn how to know the seasons that your kids are in and what they need from you as a dad.Quit wondering if you are doing it right.Start being a successful dad today!
You can be a Great Dad! Learn about my course Dads: Secrets to Success at www.theconfidentman.me
Check out more resources to help you as a man at David Maxwell Coaching
Our role as dads is one of the biggest roles we have as men. All men influence like a dad when they mentor others. So in a way, every man acts like a dad at some point in their life.
Dads are one of the most influential factors in their kids' lives and in society as a whole. The relationship with our fathers sets us up for many of the ways we will live our lives.
If you are a dad, you have an incredible amount of influence on your kids. This isn't meant to scare you, it is meant to challenge you.
The challenge is to live as a good influence. That means making choices that help your kids develop as whole and healthy adults. To do this you have to watch out for 2 attitudes that will mess your kids up: Selfishness and Hypocrisy.
Selfishness
- All of us have a tendency to selfishness
- Kids often help us to overcome this
- As men, we can hold onto the attitude "It's all about me!"
- Me Centered Parenting
- Me-centered parenting focuses more on us than our children
- This is selfish because we are telling our kids that our reputation is the most important thing for them to think about
- Healthy dads work to train their kids to own and take responsibility for their own reputation
- Blame Parenting
- Blame parenting is the Dad who always talks about what could have been
- The other side is the "I was "all that" before I got married"
- Kids don't care what you were before you had them
- They want you to be something now for them
- Ignore Parenting
- Ignore parenting isn't an obvious style that men take part it
- How we lie to ourselves and our kids is by saying things like, "I'm doing this for you...."
- Kids want their dads more than anything else
- We shouldn't accept a life of ignoring our family while saying we are working for them
Hypocrisy
- Hypocrisy for us as men is when our saying and our doing are different
- Outward Hypocrisy
- We all have a bit of outward hypocrisy in all of us
- Outward hypocrisy is another angle of image management
- Outward hypocrisy is about teaching our kids to protect our reputation, rather than engage with authentic living
- Family Hypocrisy
- Family hypocrisy is when we expect things from our kids that we don't do
- Putting members of the family down in front of others or behind their back
- Not taking responsibility for our actions
- Inward Hypocrisy
- Inward hypocrisy is often the hardest to deal with because it usually involves our own shame
- Kids will figure it out
You can be a Great Dad! Learn about my course Dads: Secrets to Success at www.theconfidentman.me
Check out more resources to help you as a man at David Maxwell Coaching
Being a dad is a massive responsibility for us as men. Many studies have shown the impact of a good or bad relationship with a father and how it affects our lives. I think we know this intuitively, but we are seeing the effects in society today.
Any man can be a father, but not as many men focus on being a good dad. We must concentrate and put the work in if we want to be a successful dad. This week we talk about some of the common characteristics of successful dads. These are some of the common denominators that good dads are doing to impact their children in a positive way.
Successful Dads are Growing
- Here is the truth about growth: You never stop growing!
- Our growth as men doesn't stop when we have kids
- If we want to grow, we must develop a growth mindset
- 3 key growth mindsets
- Growth is Incremental
- Growth is Self-Motivated
- Growth is Uncomfortable
- As you grow as a man, you will grow as a dad
Successful Dads are Authentic
- If you wear a mask in front of your kids they will figure it out one day
- Kids will learn our masks and it will hurt our relationship with them and their ability to listen to us
- We have to be authentic
- Characteristics of authentic dads
- Authentic Dads Strive to be Honest
- Authentic Dads Admit Their Imperfections
- Authentic Dads Seek to Be Open
Successful Dads are Examples
- Your kids look up to you
- Your life influences them for good or bad
- Our daily choices are the most important part of how we live as examples to our children
- If we want to be a positive example to our children, we have to make some key choices
- Building Our Foundation
- Intentional Living
- Direct Connection
- All Dads are examples and they need to accept that responsibility
- Too many men are not taking that responsibility and it is devastating to our country
Mentioned in this episode:
Dads: Secrets to Success
Many dads struggle with the thought “Am I doing this right?” Being a father is hard because every child is different and life is incredibly busy.What if you had a plan?What if you had some guidance to help you be an incredible Dad?Well, now you do with the course Dads: Secrets to SuccessThis is a 4 video course designed to empower you and give you confidence as you help your children grow.You’ll learn things like the power of security and how to help your kids have it.You’ll also learn how to know the seasons that your kids are in and what they need from you as a dad.Quit wondering if you are doing it right.Start being a successful dad today!
Dads: Secrets to Success
Many dads struggle with the thought “Am I doing this right?” Being a father is hard because every child is different and life is incredibly busy.What if you had a plan?What if you had some guidance to help you be an incredible Dad?Well, now you do with the course Dads: Secrets to SuccessThis is a 4 video course designed to empower you and give you confidence as you help your children grow.You’ll learn things like the power of security and how to help your kids have it.You’ll also learn how to know the seasons that your kids are in and what they need from you as a dad.Quit wondering if you are doing it right.Start being a successful dad today!
We continue our conversation with Kyle Carnohan on our show today. Kyle is the founder of Super Human Fathers a community and program for men who desire to transform their bodies and their lives in all areas of fatherhood.
As a father of 5, a husband of 20 years, and a fire fighter/ paramedic, Kyle has been through the waves of stress, struggle, and disappointment in his relationships with his kids and family while trying to maintain mental, spiritual, and physical health.
However, after making several key decisions in his life to be honest with himself about his actions, he started to see incredible change in every aspect. Now, his passion in life is helping other men do the same.
This week Kyle tells us how his taking responsibility became a habit in every area of his life.
He then talks about the power of influence when it comes to our transformation as men.
We also cover how the Super Human Fathers program got started and how it impacts men's lives across the nation.
Super Human Fathers Website
https://www.superhumanfathers.com/shf-interview
Kyle's Youtube Channel
https://www.youtube.com/@superhumanfathers
Mentioned in this episode:
Dads: Secrets to Success
Many dads struggle with the thought “Am I doing this right?” Being a father is hard because every child is different and life is incredibly busy.What if you had a plan?What if you had some guidance to help you be an incredible Dad?Well, now you do with the course Dads: Secrets to SuccessThis is a 4 video course designed to empower you and give you confidence as you help your children grow.You’ll learn things like the power of security and how to help your kids have it.You’ll also learn how to know the seasons that your kids are in and what they need from you as a dad.Quit wondering if you are doing it right.Start being a successful dad today!
We are excited to have Kyle Carnohan on our show today. Kyle is the founder of Super Human Fathers a community and program for men who desire to transform their bodies and their lives in all areas. His passion is to see men grab hold of their warrior-like mentality and not be afraid to be men.
As a father of 5, a husband of 20 years, and a firefighter/ paramedic, Kyle has been through waves of stress, struggle, and disappointment in his relationships with his kids and family while trying to maintain mental, spiritual, and physical health.
However, after making several key decisions in his life, to be honest with himself about his actions, he started to see incredible change in every aspect. Now, his passion in life is helping other men do the same.
- We start by talking about Kyle's transformation and how it started.
- Then we learn how he applied that change to other areas of his life.
- Kyle goes into great detail about how his transformation helped to transform his marriage and his relationship with his kids.
Super Human Fathers Website
https://www.superhumanfathers.com/shf-interview
Kyle's Youtube Channel
https://www.youtube.com/@superhumanfathers
Mentioned in this episode:
Dads: Secrets to Success
Many dads struggle with the thought “Am I doing this right?” Being a father is hard because every child is different and life is incredibly busy.What if you had a plan?What if you had some guidance to help you be an incredible Dad?Well, now you do with the course Dads: Secrets to SuccessThis is a 4 video course designed to empower you and give you confidence as you help your children grow.You’ll learn things like the power of security and how to help your kids have it.You’ll also learn how to know the seasons that your kids are in and what they need from you as a dad.Quit wondering if you are doing it right.Start being a successful dad today!
Get your free Personal Reboot Guide at www.theconfidentman.me
Check out more resources to help you as a man at David Maxwell Coaching
I'm a big fan of routines! I love having routines in many different areas of my life. When we want to incorporate specific habits, we can do them better when they are part of a routine. Routines are part of intentional living and we should embrace them.
The problem with routines is they can become too important to us in our lives. As men, we need to take time to review our routines and make sure their usefulness hasn't worn out. Men who learn to change and adapt their routines will live their best design as men.
ROUTINES CAN IGNORE SEASONS
- Seasons of life happen to everyone just like the seasons of the year
- Life has seasons and we need to understand the current season we are in and what that means for us as men
- "What season am I currently in right now?"
- "Does this routine fit this season of life?"
- "What new routines do I need to add"
ROUTINES CAN MAKE US LAZY
- Routines are really good for getting things done and having a productive life
- We can switch our brains off and let the routine guide us
- Lack of Focus
- Lack of Control
- Stay focused on the motivation behind the routines
ROUTINES CAN DISCOURAGE REFLECTION
- One of the big issues with routines is how they become so second nature that we don't think
- Routines can cause us to get into an auto-pilot state of life
- Here are a few things we should reflect on
- Our Purpose
- Our Direction
- Our Relationships
- Our Growth
Get your free Personal Reboot Guide at www.theconfidentman.me
Check out more resources to help you as a man at David Maxwell Coaching
Too often as men we don't often think about our own power. Not our power to pick something up or beat someone up, but our power for everyday life. We should ask ourselves, "Do I live powerfully, or do I survive?" Too many men are in survival mode and don't know how to live powerfully. We must live intentionally to live powerfully. This week's episode helps us find easy ways to live a more powerful life.
POWER SOURCES
- What are the power sources for your life?
- I'm talking about the power that motivates and moves you
- We have to think about this because if we don't figure out our power sources, we don't protect them
- We lose them and then wonder why we don't have power for our life
- Your Actions
- Physically
- Mentally
- Your Influences
POWER DRAINS
- The key to power is to build it up
- However, we have to stop the drains or we will lose power as we build it
- Draining Activities
- Draining Relationships
- Unhealthy Diversions
- You can do all the power building you want, but if the drains aren't stopped, you won't gain any benefit
POWER CHANNELS
- As men, we want to channel our power to make sure we get the best benefit
- The other part is aiming our channels in the best directions
- Purpose and Mission
- Relationships
- Choice
- The key is to bring your choice to your power
Get your free Personal Reboot Guide at www.theconfidentman.me
Check out more resources to help you as a man at David Maxwell Coaching
Are you a man or are you a muppet? This week we are looking at what it means to be a man. This begins with us looking at our life and asking some important questions: "What direction do I go? Who am I on the inside?" The only one who can answer these questions is us. We decide who we will be each day with each little choice we make. We can choose to be a man or be a muppet. Let's find out what it is to be a man in this week's episode.
INDIVIDUAL
- A man is at the foundation an individual
- Free to Think
- Willing to Change
- True to Himself
IN CHARGE
- Many men are living their lives being controlled by others,
- We should be in charge of ourselves
- Accept Responsibility
- Give Direction
- Take Action
- It's time for men to step up and take charge of their own life
INFLUENTIAL
- Every man influences others
- As men, we influence others through the choices we make and how we live
- We choose how we influence
- Muppets aren't influential they are comic relief
- Too many men have allowed themselves to be put into the comic relief category
- We have to quit lying to ourselves
- Your influence on others is based completely on you
Get your free Personal Reboot Guide at www.theconfidentman.me
Check out more resources to help you as a man at David Maxwell Coaching
I'm a fan of the muppets since childhood when we would watch the muppets and their special guests each week. When my kids were smaller, we loved Muppet Christmas Carol and Muppet Treasure Island. In fact, we still watch them today. The 2011 movie "The Muppets" with Jason Segal and Amy Adams was a great return to classic muppet movies. Today's podcast title comes from a song that won an Oscar from that movie: Man or Muppet.
If we never ask ourselves questions about who we are and where we are at in life, it isn't good for us as men. We need to always be willing to reflect and see where we are as men. We are going to talk about what makes a muppet and how a lot of men are living their life as muppets and not real men.
The Caricature
- The reality of muppets is they are caricatures of people and they aren't real
- Men will often allow themselves to become caricatures and they stop being authentic as men
- The Caricature of Peer Pressure
- The Caricature of Acting
- The Caricature of Self-Rejection
- As men, we must always focus on making sure we are growing authentically and haven't moved into just being a caricature of a man
The Controlled
- Muppets are controlled and I think that is something men have to think about today
- I'm talking about men who allow society, people, or the lie to control them
- Society
- People
- The Lie
The Comic Relief
- What makes the muppets so popular...they are funny
- As men, we have to make sure that we don't fall into the singular role of comic relief
- We should develop all sides of ourselves as men and not get relegated to the funny guy
- We want to be men who can be funny but are also capable of having serious discussions and taking care of business when we need to
- Too many men have adopted the role of comic relief in life and they are typecast in that role
- Men can be fun, but they also need to know when to get serious with life and all that life brings their way
Get your free Personal Reboot Guide at www.theconfidentman.me
Check out more resources to help you as a man at David Maxwell Coaching
How much do you think about money? How much should you think about money? Money is a reality for all of us and as men, we feel this pressure because we feel an inner drive to provide.
We want to be providers and we want to be successful at what we do but the danger is it is easy to let money control us and our decisions. I think every man has to regularly check his view of money or it can hurt how he lives his life.
Money as a Boss
- A common view many men live under is the view that money is their boss
- The key factor in decisions
- Job decisions and life decisions
- Friends and Relationships
- The driving force in motivation
- The feeling of being chained
- The lifestyle you have to feed
- If you are unintentionally viewing money as your boss, it is robbing you of your ability to be a man
Money as a Purpose
- They don't see it as a boss as much as a god
- When money is our purpose it doesn't boss us as much as it defines us
- Money Defines Them
- Money Sets the Score
- Money Equals Happiness
- Men whose purpose is money will oftentimes look at their net worth as a source of happiness
Money as a Tool
- Money is a tool in our life
- Tools are Controlled
- Tools are For a Purpose
- Tools Can't Fix Everything
Get your free Personal Reboot Guide at www.theconfidentman.me
Check out more resources to help you as a man at David Maxwell Coaching
Men all over the world will struggle with perfectionism. This drive to be perfect has hurt a lot of men and caused them to lose a lot of their life. Men have the drive to do things and to do things right, but they have to watch out or they will fall into perfectionism. Each man needs to adopt a realistic view of perfectionism by changing their attitudes.
Perfect Can Replace Purpose
- Every man should have a purpose but perfectionism can hurt our purpose
- Purpose through the lens of perfection
- Purpose is a direction, not a utopian life
- Perfection and image management
- Perfection will drive us to focus on our image because we want others to think a certain way of us
- Perfectionism damages relationships
Growth Beats Perfectionism
- Perfectionism can only be overcome by a mental change in us as men
- It starts with a mental change that embraces challenges and doesn't count them as negatives
- Too often we are paralyzed by our own perfectionism and we don't try new things
- We need to adopt a prototype mentality
- This puts growth ahead of our need for perfectionism
- Men with a growth attitude will always win over men who are stuck in perfectionism
Imperfections Help Build Teams
- Perfectionism hurts us at work because we often try to be "the man"
- We must have a team attitude instead of a perfection attitude
- Recognize our Strengths
- Recognize other People's Strengths
- Recognize How Teams Fulfill Everyone
- Imperfections can act like a connector
Mentioned in this episode:
Get your free Personal Reboot Guide Ebook to start your year strong!Go to www.theconfidentman.me to get your copy today.
Get your free Personal Reboot Guide at www.theconfidentman.me
Check out more resources to help you as a man at David Maxwell Coaching
What does it mean to be an authentic man? The problem with this question is that every man is different so there isn't one overriding image of what a real man is. We have to remember this as we go on our journey of becoming a man. Our goal is not to be someone else, our goal is to be the man we were designed to be. The best way to do that is to dig into our authentic selves.
The Mystery of Authenticity
- There is a call for men to be authentic but for many men, that is a confusing thing to say
- Authenticity is a mystery for many men because they have a misconception of what it is
- Authenticity is not a place you go and live
- Authenticity is a continual journey you choose to make
The Fake Side of Acting
- The struggle with authenticity for many men is they become actors
- They are acting instead of living authentically because they don't know anything else
- Lifelong Actors
- Situational Actors
- Defensive Actors
- Fake acting isn't good for men or for those they are in a relationship with
- We have to be willing to check ourselves as men and make sure we aren't faking our way through life
The Authentic Side of Acting
- There are times when our authenticity compels us to do some acting
- The Happy You
- The Future You
- The Suck it Up You
- When a man has a vision he wants to fulfill or wants to bring real change in his life it often involves some type of acting
Mentioned in this episode:
Get your free Personal Reboot Guide Ebook to start your year strong!Go to www.theconfidentman.me to get your copy today.
Get your free Personal Reboot Guide at www.theconfidentman.me
Check out more resources to help you as a man at David Maxwell Coaching
The design of men is a powerful one. Men can fight wars, invent new things, and run major corporations, but also play in the playground with their kids all day. Men have a natural play instinct which is important for the development of them and their children. The problem is without proper development many men get stuck in the playing mentality and never grow up. Maturity is not the lack of play or fun, but knowing when it is appropriate and when it isn't. So we are going to look at some of the main reasons men aren't growing up so we can recognize the problems and work to overcome them.
Lack of Examples
- Some men have never grown up because they never saw what a grown man was supposed to act like
- A lot of guys have grown up in confusing times
- This beat down of masculinity has left a lot of men confused and now many of these men are the dads today
- The other serious problem is the lack of dads and role models of what a man is all about
- Many men are wandering around not knowing where to go as a man
- Many boys didn't have an example so they are trying to figure it out as they go
- For young men who realize this need, they have to put in extra work
Lack of Ingredients
- Many men have not grown up because there has been a lack of ingredients in their life
- A number of men had some things happen when they were young that stunted their emotional growth
- Divorce is a reality many men dealt with in their lives as children
- One of the hardest things for boys to overcome is the addictive nature of porn
- The statistics for boys who have been sexually abused have been increasing over the years
- Bullying is another emotional growth event that many people don't think of
- Traumatic events do affect us when we were kids and we need to make sure they aren't affecting our life today by keeping important ingredients out of our everyday
- Many men have a void of insecurity that they are trying to fill that comes from their childhood
Lack of Challenge
- A lot of men were hamstrung as they grew up because many things were done for them and they were never challenged
- I don't think parents did this on purpose but they were so focused on the protection that they stunted their child's growth
- Now this doesn't mean parents can teach everything
- Many men today are grown men who grew up with no responsibilities so they didn't learn how to be responsible
- Many of these men were shielded from consequences so they don't have a full understanding of what consequences are or how they work
- We can't hide boys from challenges
Get your free Personal Reboot Guide at www.theconfidentman.me
Check out more resources to help you as a man at David Maxwell Coaching
Shame is a strange thing to talk about because many people try to deny shame or say we shouldn't feel it. Shame is real and it is a serious issue among men today. We talk about how shame hurts men but also bring out some of the positives of shame that we have forgotten as a society.
The Negative Side of Shame
- Shame is a hidden weight too many men carry
- Secret actions that no one may know about but we still deal with
- Men are designed to be the ones who stand up for others
- Shame causes us to pull ourselves from the fight
- Shame and failure lead many men to quit trying
- Other men just get hard to the shame and stop caring
- We must recognize the negatives that are coming from our shame or they will silently rob us of our real design as men
The Positive Side of Shame
- Our conscience feeling bad can be a good direction for us
- It makes us think twice before engaging in an action
- Imagining the shame more than imagining the thing you want to do is a positive benefit of shame
- We have imaginations and we should use them to think ahead about our actions
- Seeing someone else affected makes us rethink
- Shame can keep us from investigating and finding out more about specific activities
- Thinking through the consequences of shame and letting our own shame keep us from hurtful things is a positive of shame
The Antidote to Bad Shame
- Character and integrity should be the pillars of strength for men
- Dr. Henry Cloud in Integrity: "Character is the ability to meet the demands of reality"
- The more you have a strong core, the more you will make the right choices
- Character is built through the lens of our reality
- The Reality of Our Strengths and Weaknesses
- The Reality of Our Core
Get your free Personal Reboot Guide at www.theconfidentman.me
Check out more resources to help you as a man at David Maxwell Coaching
Focus has been a struggle for men throughout the ages. If you read books from the past, men have always lamented the distractions of the world and this was before all our devices! The reality for every man is he must do the battle to have good focus. We must make our focus an important part of who we are as men, but more importantly, we have to make it part of who we want to be. Without focus, we don't grow or change and become the powerful men we were designed to be.
Live Reality
- Overestimate
- Underestimate
- Judge Ourselves
Get Rest
- It is the most obvious, but the most neglected
- The danger of rest replacements
- Addictions can grow without proper rest
- Rest Realities
- Sleep
- Turning off
- Getting away
Practice Resets
- Resets can take different forms but should be implemented in our lives
- Purpose Reviews
- Mentoring
- Challenges
- The variety and power of practicing resets can help bring new vitality and energy to us as men
Mentioned in this episode:
Get your free Personal Reboot Guide Ebook to start your year strong!Go to www.theconfidentman.me to get your copy today.
Get your free Personal Reboot Guide at www.theconfidentman.me
Check out more resources to help you as a man at David Maxwell Coaching
Today, we are talking about the power of long-term success in our life
The most powerful men who leave the longest-lasting legacy in the world are the ones focused on long-term success
As men, we must not allow ourselves to get caught up in the quick-fix culture
We must work to build a solid foundation for our life so success lasts
Yes, this is the harder way, but it is the way that lasts the longest
Quick Fix-vs-Sustained Growth
- The Quick fix
- Quick Fix symptoms
- "Can I" wins over "should I"
- The tendency to overbook
- Quick fixes often hurt the closest relationships
- Sustained growth
- Sustained growth focuses on priorities
- Long-Term Focuses
- Priorities and Purposes
- Self-Regulation over Self-Gratification
- The priority of relationships
- The daily choices
Adrenaline Fixes-vs-Healthy Choices
- When you are looking at long-term success, health has to be a factor
- You want to have energy and be able to last in the long term so you have to think about your health
- We often live from adrenaline fix to adrenaline fix instead of making the long-term healthy choices
- Adrenaline isn't sustainable
- Healthy choices need momentum
- Find Your Reality
- Decide to Bring Your Best
- Flow with natural rhythms of life
- Embrace the suck when you have to
Constant Turmoil-vs-Intentional Living
- The battle we face is our decision on what type of headspace we want to have
- Constant turmoil
- Just making it and trying to survive
- The voices in your head
- Turmoil boils over
- Intentional Living
- Purposeful living
- Watching the compass
- Intentional relationships
- The goal is not perfection
- One intentional decision today can turn into two intentional decisions tomorrow
Get your free Personal Reboot Guide at www.theconfidentman.me
Check out more resources to help you as a man at David Maxwell Coaching
Being a dad is one of the highest callings of a man, but that is getting drowned out by the negative shift toward children. Kids are seen as an inconvenience today and that attitude is affecting too many young men. Having children is good for us as men. Don't get me wrong, they are hard work, but hard work is what we do as men. One of the best things you can do is go into your fatherhood years with the right attitude. On today's show, we talk about how to have the right attitude and parent with an attitude of offense instead of defense.
It's Not One or the Other
- Your marriage is the foundation of your home
- Your children will come and go, but you will stay together
- The strength of your relationship as a couple is one of the safest things you can do for your kids
- As men, we need to take the lead in making sure our marriage stays strong
- Keeping your marriage strong helps to balance the family the right way
The Importance of Security
- The best thing you can do for your kids' security is to have a great marriage
- The number one parenting advice for dads is to love their wife
- The Wisdom of One Wife
- Loving your wife will teach them how to love and how to expect love
- This doesn't mean you have to be perfect, but you do set the foundation
- Your steady influence will be one of the strongest influences on your children
- Your daily faithfulness to your wife and family builds a foundation of security that will pay off for generations in your family
The Power of Your Voice
- Fathers have the most influence on their children in how they speak to them
- The power of praise
- The power of focus
- The power of tone
- Coach tone - you are better than this; Great Job
- Discipline tone - I'm disappointed, don't do that again
- Respect tone - What did you say to your mom? What do you think you are doing?
- Fun tone - Picking and playing, fun and laughing
- Open tone - tell stories about your mistakes and be open about imperfections
- Loving tone - they need to hear you express love
- You influence your children with the power of your voice
- This is the power of fatherhood
Get your free Personal Reboot Guide at www.theconfidentman.me
Check out more resources to help you as a man at David Maxwell Coaching
Marriage brings a ton of benefits to men. This isn't something many talk about in our hedonistic self-centered culture. People often focus on what marriage and family take away from us as men. Marriage isn't the end of who we are as men. Marriage helps men grow and expand their gifts. It challenges them in powerful ways and makes them better men.
Encourages Our Intimacy
- One of the biggest benefits of marriage for men is the fact that it pushes them into the journey of intimacy
- Building intimacy is different from winning someone
- Building intimacy takes lots of time together and a new level of familiarity
- Men have to learn how to get closer to their wives and really know them in an emotional way and not just a physical way.
- Men have very powerful emotions and when they learn to channel them toward their wives, they build deep and lasting relationships
- If men never grow in their emotional side, they lack a big part of what makes them a powerful man
Focuses Our Purpose
- Marriage moves a man from the focus of me to we
- This broadens a man's purpose from a self-centered focus to a higher focus - his wife and ultimately his family
- This challenges a man and pushes him to grow and step up in how he lives and thinks
- This is a powerful motivator for men to sacrifice
- Men understand this in a large sense, but with a family, it is brought to reality in his life
- Having a family helps to direct and focus our attention
- When men are responsible, they tend to step up
- A man's purpose is always better when it is focused outside of himself
Builds a Lasting Legacy
- Many men live with a desire to do something significant with their life
- Marriage gives men the greatest opportunity to bring significance to their world
- Marriage and kids are a built-in legacy for every man
- Healthy Marriages are an Example
- Kids will Outlive You
- Regrets Won't Own You
Get your free Personal Reboot Guide at www.theconfidentman.me
Check out more resources to help you as a man at David Maxwell Coaching
Intimacy isn't sex! Today that must be stated because so many people misunderstand what real intimacy is all about. The best thing you can do for your relationship is learn how to create an atmosphere of intimacy with your woman. When men take the lead in the intimacy of the relationship, they have better relationships and stronger families, which makes a stronger society.
Real Intimacy Comes with Commitment
- Real intimacy only comes with people who are committed to each other
- Marriage is built on a lifelong commitment
- Marriage was designed to create an environment for the deepest levels of intimacy
- This is why waiting till marriage to have sex is the optimal
- Casual Sex often deadens people on the inside to the true intimacy they can have in relationships
- Without commitment, there is never true intimacy
Commitment Demands Sacrifice
- When you make a commitment to someone, sacrifice is part of that commitment
- The thing is many people go into relationships saying they are committed but aren't willing to make sacrifices
- Marriage has a built-in sacrifice to help seal the commitment
- The commitment and sacrifice of marriage are to breed safety and wholeness for the couple
- Commitment without sacrifice isn't really a commitment
- A commitment must be part of any couple who wants to achieve real intimacy
- As men, if we aren't willing to sacrifice, we aren't ready to commit
Sacrifice Shows through Service
- Service is how we show our sacrifice and commitment
- Most men get this at a base level because serving is something we do
- Service in marriage is how men make their sacrifice
- We are to love our wives so much that we give up our life for her through our service
- When men are willing to serve their wives and families with all of themselves it communicates their commitment
- When a man gives himself wholly to a woman she will gladly walk in intimacy with him
- The key to service is knowing and understanding your wife
- This means you have to pursue closeness with her to serve the best way
- As men learn how to effectively serve their wives, they will build incredibly deep and intimate relationships
Get your free Personal Reboot Guide at www.theconfidentman.me
Check out more resources to help you as a man at David Maxwell Coaching
The guys who suck at dating are often dating for the wrong reasons. Their attitudes are focused on everything but the person they are dating. This hurts them as men and it hurts their ability to have close intimate relationships. Plus, they either won't go out on dates or they will have the wrong attitude for every date they have.
The Ego Feeders
- Successful dates happen when both parties on the date focus on the other person
- They focus on themselves and how the date feeds their ego
- They pick a girl based on what other guys will think of her
- The guy isn't focusing on her as much as he is focusing on himself
- This cuts off the ability for there to be a real connection on the date
- These guys suck at dating because they aren't looking for relationships they are looking for an ego stroke
- Quality women want to be seen as a person and not tools for a man's ego
The Conquest Counters
- Sexual conquests are the name of the game for these guys
- These men are having sex for themselves and their pleasure
- Guys who are self-focused on their own pleasure in sexual encounters are just performing masturbation with a different partner
- Guys like this suck at dating because they are not looking for intimacy or connection
- These men must first of all reign in their sexual appetites
- A man who can control his sexual urges is a man who can master self-control
- He must learn to see women as individuals and not as medals of honor for himself
The Awkward Loners
- These guys are so eaten up with insecurity that dating is more of a dream rather than a reality
- They stay in the surface sexual area cause it is safer than really sharing themselves
- Fear of rejection looms huge over them and keeps them from stepping out
- They will run away to virtual escapes acting like it is no big deal that they don't have a relationship
- Men were created to lead but these guys never learn to lead themselves
- They often end up in controlling relationships with women
- They buy into the extremes of what a man is
- They feel "lucky"
- Men who struggle as loners need to find healthy ways to grow as men
Get your free Personal Reboot Guide at www.theconfidentman.me
Check out more resources to help you as a man at David Maxwell Coaching
Being the man women want does not start with thinking about what women want! It starts with us developing ourselves as men. Too many men are living their lives based on what they "think" women want. This leads to confusion and pain from painful breakups and divorces. Men must stop focusing on what women want and must start focusing on three key things to develop as men. As they do this, they will automatically become more attractive to the right kind of woman.
Quit Being What They Want
- As men, we must quit adapting to every whim we think women want or we will never be the men we were designed to be
- We'll never figure out who we are if we are always playing a part
- Wearing masks keeps us from developing intimacy in our relationships
- When a man is constantly changing based on a girl, he is not taking the time to figure himself out
- Real serving is done from strength and security
- Manipulative serving is done from insecurity and control
- Men must go on the journey of figuring themselves out or they won't know how to authentically connect with a woman
Start Building Our Security
- Insecurity is one of the biggest problems among men today
- Men are controlled by women
- Men change for women based on their own insecurity
- We must get to the foundation of who we are as men
- Our security is built on our foundation as men: our character, our worldview, our purpose
- Men often hide from this kind of deep thinking through the distractions of life
- Men who don't develop security, never grow up and mature as men
Drive Our Own Life
- We must decide as men to drive our own life by taking responsibility for our actions and how we live
- Quality Women want a man who knows who he is and what he is doing with his life
- Men who are hyper-control freaks often exhibit signs of extreme insecurity and control is how they try to keep order in their world
- A man who is driving his life knows that he can control himself so he doesn't waste his energy on things he can't control
- Responsible men can live authentically because they are constantly developing themselves and growing themselves
- Driving our own life as men are contingent on having a direction to go
- Men who drive their life don't get caught up in the hedonistic trap so many men fall into
Mentioned in this episode:
Get your free Personal Reboot Guide Ebook to start your year strong!Go to www.theconfidentman.me to get your copy today.
Get your free Personal Reboot Guide at www.theconfidentman.me
Check out more resources to help you as a man at David Maxwell Coaching
Zack and Vincent's Website - Lifestacks.
Andrew Huberman Supplements Video
Thorn Vitamins
At age 11, Zack was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes. The diagnosis forced him to take his health seriously from a young age. Zack took up long-distance running to maintain insulin sensitivity, but it soon blossomed into a passion. His running helped him discover the importance of eustress, the kind of optimal challenge that leads to feelings of motivation and flow, as a guiding principle for immediate success and long-term development.
Zack discovered his entrepreneurial spirit while searching for a low-carb snack that didn't taste like cardboard. He created Quevos®, the world's first crisp made from egg whites, which gained notoriety through appearances on Shark Tank and in popular publications such as Delish, Forbes, Women's Health, and Popsugar. Zack took his experiences and knowledge from other areas, intent on developing his health, cognition, and productivity in other self-reinforcing and engaging ways. His goal of adopting a set of habits to support a virtuous cycle between daily performance and long-term health prompted Zack to begin exploring the world of clinically-studied nutritional supplements.
Vincent grew up with a global lifestyle, living in Europe, Asia, and North America. Through his experiences, Vincent learned from a range of food cultures and health practices. In light of the demands of frequent travel, Vincent realized he had to build a set of habits that he could take with him anywhere he lived. Vincent’s interest in history led him to study and contemplate the mismatch of our ancestral eating patterns with modern practices. As a result, Vincent became an early adopter of intermittent fasting. Moreover, Vincent enjoyed fasting-friendly performance support from his daily cup of coffee, which he used for energy, appetite suppression, and metabolic health benefits.
Vincent and Zack became fast friends at Williams College. They quickly realized their shared passion for all facets of health and performance, and over their years at Williams, they wondered how they could invite everyone to adopt daily habits that delight and empower. They shared one Aha moment after another, and another.
The duo set out to create healthy, high-impact supplement stacks. They understood the desire for more enjoyable and intuitive ways to consume supplements, such as with a cup of coffee. And they recognized the opportunity to enhance the intermittent fasting lifestyle with supplements that would further the benefits and address the challenges of fasting. The result: a cup of coffee fueled by a deliciously creamy MCT that supports metabolic health and fuels mental willpower. The beginning of Lifestacks.
Get your free Personal Reboot Guide at www.theconfidentman.me
Check out more resources to help you as a man at David Maxwell Coaching
Check out Zack and Vincent's Website: Lifestacks.
At age 11, Zack was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes. The diagnosis forced him to take his health seriously from a young age. Zack took up long-distance running to maintain insulin sensitivity, but it soon blossomed into a passion. His running helped him discover the importance of eustress, the kind of optimal challenge that leads to feelings of motivation and flow, as a guiding principle for immediate success and long-term development.
Zack discovered his entrepreneurial spirit while searching for a low-carb snack that didn't taste like cardboard. He created Quevos®, the world's first crisp made from egg whites, which gained notoriety through appearances on Shark Tank and in popular publications such as Delish, Forbes, Women's Health, and Popsugar. Zack took his experiences and knowledge from other areas, intent on developing his health, cognition, and productivity in other self-reinforcing and engaging ways. His goal of adopting a set of habits to support a virtuous cycle between daily performance and long-term health prompted Zack to begin exploring the world of clinically-studied nutritional supplements.
Vincent grew up with a global lifestyle, living in Europe, Asia, and North America. Through his experiences, Vincent learned from a range of food cultures and health practices. In light of the demands of frequent travel, Vincent realized he had to build a set of habits that he could take with him anywhere he lived. Vincent’s interest in history led him to study and contemplate the mismatch of our ancestral eating patterns with modern practices. As a result, Vincent became an early adopter of intermittent fasting. Moreover, Vincent enjoyed fasting-friendly performance support from his daily cup of coffee, which he used for energy, appetite suppression, and metabolic health benefits.
Vincent and Zack became fast friends at Williams College. They quickly realized their shared passion for all facets of health and performance, and over their years at Williams, they wondered how they could invite everyone to adopt daily habits that delight and empower. They shared one Aha moment after another, and another.
The duo set out to create healthy, high-impact supplement stacks. They understood the desire for more enjoyable and intuitive ways to consume supplements, such as with a cup of coffee. And they recognized the opportunity to enhance the intermittent fasting lifestyle with supplements that would further the benefits and address the challenges of fasting. The result: a cup of coffee fueled by a deliciously creamy MCT that supports metabolic health and fuels mental willpower. The beginning of Lifestacks.
Get your free Personal Reboot Guide at www.theconfidentman.me
Check out more resources to help you as a man at David Maxwell Coaching
A lot of men are caught up in the grind and they can't get out. They are focused on surviving the week and making it to Saturday or Sunday or until they actually get a day off!
This will wear us down and destroy us as men. We must break free of the grind. We do this by understanding the natural seasons of life. Just like our weather has seasons, so does our life. Understand the seasons and you will break out of the grind.
The Seasonal Rotation
- 4 Seasons: Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter
- Spring
- Spring is a time of preparing and seed sowing
- Input
- Working Calendar
- Summer
- This is a busy time for agricultural people
- Everyone has busy seasons in their life
- Weeding
- Watering
- Fall
- Store up, can, and enjoy the harvest
- Celebration
- Enjoy
- Winter
- Rest and Repair are big components of the winter
- Plan
- Connect
- Build Roots
Embracing the Seasons
- Helps keep us balanced
- Helps us look up from the grind
- Helps us look within
- Builds flexibility in us and our family
- Helps disconnect our identity from our work
- Encourages work and effort
- Encourages healthy celebration
Ignoring the Seasons
- When we ignore the seasons, we get messed up in our thinking
- Life gets out of balance quickly
- Burnout and wasted work
- Discouragement will move in without seasons
- We will lack relational connections
- We will lack roots
- Exhaustion breeds bad choices
Get your free Personal Reboot Guide at www.theconfidentman.me
Check out more resources to help you as a man at David Maxwell CoachingWelcome to the confident man podcast
We are more connected than ever as a society, but many men feel incredibly lonely. Why is that?
Well, for many it's because they struggle to form deep connections. Men were created to have deep connections and in this show, we are going to find what deep connections are and how men can get better at them.
Define a Deep Connection
- Relationships that aren't superficial
- Many men don't have this today and they don't even realize what is missing
- Men were also created to have a deep connection to a woman
- This is why the hook-up culture is so dangerous
- We are designed to have a deep connection with one woman in the covenant of marriage
Ingredients for Deep Connections
- Self Aware
- Who are you?
- Personality
- Motivations
- Willingness to grow
- Love yourself, but don't worship yourself
- The better the ingredients, the better the connections
Working for Deep Connections
- Look at others through clear lenses
- Many guys look at their relationships through a lens of self
- You can't connect deeply with people when you see them as only there to support you
- Be authentic
- Be their fan
- See Saw Principle
Mentioned in this episode:
Get your free Personal Reboot Guide Ebook to start your year strong!Go to www.theconfidentman.me to get your copy today.
Get your free Personal Reboot Guide at www.theconfidentman.me
Check out more resources to help you as a man at David Maxwell CoachingWelcome to the confident man podcast
Are you a lonely man? You may not be but the statistics show that men are feeling more isolated than ever. The best way to combat that is through strong friendships. With our hyperconnected and busy world, men's friendships have suffered. Virtual friendships have replaced real-life friends and it hasn't been good for men. We need good strong friendships. They can make us better men and help to remake our society.
Friendship History of Men
- There has always been something powerful about men connecting over similar interests or activities
- Men have felt this need for friendship as long as we have been on earth
- We are better together and not on our own
- On our own, we can get really weird
- Men throughout history recognized their need for friendships
- Don't let society shame you or make you too busy to have friends
- Strong male friends will make us better men
The Good and Bad of Friendships
- Friendships have a positive and negative side
- Friendship good characteristics
- Authentic
- Honest
- Life-giving
- Friendship bad characteristics
- Lies and being fake
- Push toward negative choices
- Good friendships are worth the wait and the work
Friendship Tips
- Many men have grown up without any good strong friendships
- Understand the seasonal realities of friendships
- Here are a few tips to help you on the friendship journey
- Attitude
- Build Analog Friendships
- Be the friendship driver
- Find Common interests
- Where to look for friends
- The key is to not sit back and wait for friends to come to you
Mentioned in this episode:
Get your free Personal Reboot Guide Ebook to start your year strong!Go to www.theconfidentman.me to get your copy today.
Get your free Personal Reboot Guide at www.theconfidentman.me
Check out more resources to help you as a man at David Maxwell CoachingWelcome to the confident man podcast
March Man Month focus continues and today we continue our talk on Classic Literature and Men with Louis Markos. Dr. Markos is an authority on C. S. Lewis, apologetics, and ancient Greece and Rome. He is the author of twenty-five books, as well as, the lecturer of the Great Courses course: The Life and Writings of C.S. Lewis. Today we continue to talk about the great themes of ancient stories and how we can learn from them. Dr. Markos also gives us some different recommendations of books that men can read to get started on their journey into classic literature and its great themes.
Below are links to find out more about Dr. Markos and his writings, plus some of the books he recommended on the show.
Dr. Markos' Faculty Page
The Great Courses Courses By Dr. Markos
Dr. Markos' page at The Imaginative Conservative
Louis Markos' Amazon Author Page
Homer's Odyssey
Lord of the Rings
The Hobbit
The Space Trilogy
Ivanhoe
Horatio Hornblower Series
Huckleberry Finn
Mentioned in this episode:
Get your free Personal Reboot Guide Ebook to start your year strong!Go to www.theconfidentman.me to get your copy today.
Get your free Personal Reboot Guide at www.theconfidentman.me
Check out more resources to help you as a man at David Maxwell CoachingWelcome to the confident man podcast
Welcome to the Confident Man Podcast.
March Man Month focus continues with today's show Classic Literature and Men with Louis Markos
Today on the show we have a special guest, Dr. Louis Markos. Dr. Markos is an authority on C. S. Lewis, apologetics, and ancient Greece and Rome. He is the author of twenty-five books, as well as, the lecturer of the Great Courses course: The Life and Writings of C.S. Lewis.
He joins us to talk about how reading the classics can help men be better men. We talk through some of the ancient stories and how men have applied them throughout history. We delve into the need for stories to pass down positive character traits. We also dig into classics like Homer's Illiad and the writings of CS Lewis and JRR Tolkien and how they can teach men a lot about how to be a man.
Click the links below to find out more about Dr. Markos and his writing.
Dr. Markos' Faculty Page
The Great Courses Courses By Dr. Markos
Dr. Markos' page at The Imaginative Conservative
Louis Markos' Amazon Author Page
Mentioned in this episode:
Get your free Personal Reboot Guide Ebook to start your year strong!Go to www.theconfidentman.me to get your copy today.
Get your free Personal Reboot Guide at www.theconfidentman.me
Check out more resources to help you as a man at David Maxwell Coaching
One of the biggest dangers I've seen for men today is the pressure to sit down and shut up. Men are told they should comply and just be nice guys. There is nothing wrong with being nice, but the pressure to be nice is causing men to not stand up for anything. This is not how we were designed as men. We aren't called to get along, but we are called to lead. We should lead ourselves and we should lead our society. Strong men can be nice, but guys who are just nice cannot be strong when they need to be.
Nice Guy Motivations
- Men should know how to act in every situation and many times we should be nice guys
- Sometimes we can't be nice, we have to be strong and take a stand
- If we have a hard time stepping up when the time calls for it, we need to dig inside ourselves and find out why
- Common Nice Guy Motivations
- To be liked
- Insecure
- Hiding part of yourself
Building Our Backbone
- What can men do to balance being nice and being strong?
- The backbone of men is their core beliefs about themselves and life in general
- Core beliefs
- Foundations give strength
- Relativism robs men of their backbone
- The only way men will build their backbone is to dig down and build up their own foundation of core beliefs
Strong Men Needed
- We need strong men in our world
- We need men today to be strong and to help turn this world around
- Men who are: Willing to Stand
- Men Who Are: An Inspiration to Others
- Men Who Are: Putting in the Effort
- Men Who Are: Not creatures of Appetites
Mentioned in this episode:
Get your free Personal Reboot Guide Ebook to start your year strong!Go to www.theconfidentman.me to get your copy today.
Get your free Personal Reboot Guide at www.theconfidentman.me
Check out more resources to help you as a man at David Maxwell Coaching
Mirrors in our life can serve a purpose for our development as men. There are things that we cannot see about ourselves that mirrors show us. We must understand that the mirrors in our life are the different avenues of feedback we have. If we aren't intentional about getting feedback, we won't be able to develop all of our gifts and abilities as men.
A Mirrors Purpose
- Mirrors have a lot of practical uses
- We need to remember that Mirrors Reflect the image that is there
- Mirrors are there to show us as we are
- Mirrors help us see ourselves realistically
- Seeking feedback is putting mirrors in our lives to make sure what we think is reality
- A mirrors purpose is honest feedback
Avoiding Mirrors
- We avoid mirrors when we don't like what we see
- We shouldn't avoid mirrors or we won't see the truth
- We need outside feedback as well as inside feedback
- Self-reflection is us intentionally looking for our reality
- Many men stay busy to avoid slowing down and reflecting
- This is one of the reasons so many men are lacking when it comes to emotional growth
Practical Mirrors
- Mirrors are reflections and not judgments
- The power of questions
- Assessing ourselves honestly is hard because we judge ourselves by our intentions
- Outside mirrors are ways we can seek feedback for our life
- Other people's feedback
- Paid Feedback
- Simple Feedback
Mentioned in this episode:
Get your free Personal Reboot Guide Ebook to start your year strong!Go to www.theconfidentman.me to get your copy today.
Get your free Personal Reboot Guide at www.theconfidentman.me
Check out more resources to help you as a man at David Maxwell Coaching
We must understand as men that having a passionate opinion is good
Opinions vs Prejudices
- Opinions are ours as we should seek them
- Prejudices are from others and don't take any thought or work
- Opinions are different from prejudices because they come from us and not from others
- Influences should come through the filter of our thoughts and working through them ourselves
- Developing opinions help us develop who we are and that is a major part of our impact as men
Opinions Take Thought
- As we develop our own opinions we have to battle in our minds to help them grow and develop
- Opinions cannot truly be ours if we never work on them in our brains
- Big thinking development
- Men need big thinking because it causes us to think outside of ourselves and our own everyday wants and needs
- As men have lost the ability to think big, their influence in our culture has diminished
- Detailed thinking development
- Detailed thinking helps us develop our own worldview as men
- Opinions force us to think about the why's and that makes us mentally strong men
Opinions Require Truth
- To form a real opinion there has to be the element of truth
- Objective truth has to be in the equation or anyone can say anything
- Real opinions should be backed up by truth
- We must develop a taste for objective truth
- Our opinion has to be based on something
- We may have an opinion and be passionate about it, however, the passion we have for an opinion should not be stronger than our passion for the truth
- We must look to facts and truth when forming our opinions and not let them just be based on a feeling
- Men must accept the role of being truth seekers
- A truth-seeking man is a powerful man
Mentioned in this episode:
Get your free Personal Reboot Guide Ebook to start your year strong!Go to www.theconfidentman.me to get your copy today.
Get your free Personal Reboot Guide at www.theconfidentman.me
Check out more resources to help you as a man at David Maxwell Coaching
Building intimacy with a woman starts with having a specific focus. We need to understand the place we are building the relationship. Intimacy is something that is built within the parameters of a committed relationship and this is why marriage is the best place to experience deep intimacy. If there is no commitment, then there is less motivation to be completely open and honest in the relationship. The great thing about building intimacy is it gives us incredible relationships and helps us grow and be better men.
Time Within
- How we grow in knowing ourselves is key to growing in our relationship with women
- Ep 124 - 2 Keys to Become More Attractive to Women
- Ep 125 - Finding the Right Woman for You
- We have to have the right tools for building intimacy
- We have to do the work to have the tools to build intimacy
- To many men have given up their leadership in the relationship
Time Together
- In today's hectic culture, we have to fight for time together
- Spending time with our wives is something we have to fight for
- Married with kids and jobs can make it extremely difficult
- Dates must be maintained in a marriage
- The attitude of kids
- Kids are great!
- Kids cannot be the center of the family
- Intentional Building
- Intentional Fun
Time Apart
- Building intimacy comes with being together but it also comes with being apart
- We need time apart and other relationships because it makes us better for our closest relationship
- She needs good friends
- You need good friends
- She needs other ladies she is close to
- We need other guys we are close to
- Men need encouraging relationships with other men
- Women need those same positive relationships with other positive women
- Encourage her personal growth
- When you encourage her growth and her gifts, she will love you even more than you can imagine
Mentioned in this episode:
Get your free Personal Reboot Guide Ebook to start your year strong!Go to www.theconfidentman.me to get your copy today.
Get your free Personal Reboot Guide at www.theconfidentman.me
Check out more resources to help you as a man at David Maxwell Coaching
Finding the right woman is something many guys spend a whole lot of time and money going after. They love the buzz of relationships so they keep going from relationship to relationship thinking they will find THE ONE! The problem is this is the wrong focus. If we want to find the right woman, we have to make sure we have the right mindset or we will be wasting our time and energy.
The One Big Truth
- The one big truth that every guy needs to learn and repeat to himself is: SHE WON'T COMPLETE YOU
- The problem with the ONE attitude is it gives us an avenue for blame
- When we hold someone up as the ONE, we are actually giving them god-like status
- Our completeness isn't based on our relational status
- Men looking for completeness outside themselves give up control
- The passive problem is from men who aren’t complete within
- The more complete we are as men, the better our relationships will be, and the more likely we will find a woman who fits us the best
The Mom Syndrome
- The mom syndrome is something many men live in but they are in denial
- They think the right girl will motivate them to do better in life
- "I just need the right girl to make me want to be a good guy"
- This is lazy and gives up our own personal responsibility
- Change for men has to come from within
- Expecting a girl to motivate us is asking her to be our mom
- Expecting girls to be a mom to us is lazy and will build resentment in the relationship
- We have to man up and take full responsibility for ourselves
The Past Ghosts
- Many guys have a hard time finding the right woman for them because they are living with the ghosts of past girls in their life
- Past Hurts Don't Help Future Relationships
- Men must take the time to deal with the pain of past relationships or they will affect their future ones
- Counselors, therapists, online resources like www.boundaries.me
- Rebounding often leads to the same mistakes
- Bitterness does not influence great relationship choices
Mentioned in this episode:
Get your free Personal Reboot Guide Ebook to start your year strong!Go to www.theconfidentman.me to get your copy today.
Get your free Personal Reboot Guide at www.theconfidentman.me
Check out more resources to help you as a man at David Maxwell Coaching
We are talking about 2 keys to becoming more attractive to women. Every man wants to be attractive to women, but we often work on it from a man's perspective and not a woman's perspective. This has a bearing on both single men and married men. Your work in these two areas will help you grow as a man and be more attractive to women if you are a single man or your wife if you are married.
Being More Attractive Fits Single Men and Married Men
- Single men desire to be more attractive to women, but the biggest problem is they think about attractiveness from a man's perspective
- So what many single guys do is focus on their physical in order to get women
- This may attract some women but if we aren't mature emotionally they will often be shallow women
- Single men should focus on all the other areas of their life as much or more than their physical
- Smart married men would work to stay attractive to their wife
- All relationships are journeys and they can go to deeper and deeper levels of intimacy depending on how much the couple chooses to work on it
- Growth is a big key to a great long-lasting relationship
- They should grow themselves so they can love their wife better
The Authentic Journey
- Men must go on the authentic journey if they want to realize their full potential as men
- Too many men will put on different masks based on the situation and what they need to be
- Authenticity is attractive to women
- Women want a man who is genuine in his abilities and reactions
- A man's authentic self will attract the type of woman he is naturally attracted too
- An authentic man knows who he is and has a pretty good bearing of himself
- Authentic men want a real relationship and not just sex
- Being authentic helps us be more attractive to women and gives us the ability to experience deeper levels of intimacy with our wives
Security: The Secret Sauce
- One of the biggest weaknesses in men today is insecurity
- One of the biggest and most obvious reasons for insecurity is the lack of role models in boy's lives
- We must recognize our insecurities as men or they will enslave us
- Insecure men do not attract strong secure women
- Security gives us our own minds
- Security gives us the ability to stand against outside pressure
- Security gives us power over perfection
- Security gives us the propensity to grow
- Security is the secret sauce of attraction
Mentioned in this episode:
Get your free Personal Reboot Guide Ebook to start your year strong!Go to www.theconfidentman.me to get your copy today.
Get your free Personal Reboot Guide at www.theconfidentman.me
Check out more resources to help you as a man at David Maxwell Coaching
Have you ever wondered why we seem to have giant swings in life? It often feels like things are either going really well or they're out of control!
Balancing all our roles as men can be difficult. Burnout and escapism are the common issues men deal with when life is out of control. The key to long-term success is bringing the key areas of our life into alignment. This helps us have the strength and endurance we need for all the things life throws at us.
There are 4 key areas every man must keep in alignment: Mental, Physical, Emotional, and Spiritual. Keeping these in balance will help us get ahead and quit playing the forever game of catch-up.
Mental Priorities
- Mental priorities are the ways we think and how we are keeping our minds fresh and growing
- Our minds are important and we have the responsibility of keeping them fresh and growing
- This means engaging with new thoughts and ideas
- Engaging our minds is done in different ways based on us as men
- The importance of variety
- Control your decisions
- We can keep our minds alert and fresh
- It takes doing things intentionally and working our brain like a muscle
Physical Priorities
- We live in our bodies and it is the only one we have
- We take care of ourselves as men so we have the most energy and ability for our everyday life
- Life takes energy and when we are extremely out of shape we can't bring all of ourselves to life
- Healthy Eating and Exercise
- The reality of our physical side starts with leadership
- We must lead ourselves
Emotional Priorities
- Men are naturally passionate
- Passions are something to embrace and use as a force of strength
- Men love being passionate because men have powerful emotions
- We want to channel those emotions into areas that empower our lives as men
- The problem is that many men were never shown what to do with their emotions
- Many men live their whole lives based on emotional wounds from when they were young
- We should grow our emotions like our muscles
Spiritual Priorities
- The secularization of our society has not helped us as men
- We are different from animals because we were created as spiritual creatures
- God created us to have a spiritual connection
- Men across the world have abandoned their spirituality for the practical
- We were designed to be spiritual leaders
- Being spiritual doesn't mean not being manly
- Without a connection to the God of the Bible, we won't be able to fully engage our design as men
Mentioned in this episode:
Get your free Personal Reboot Guide Ebook to start your year strong!Go to www.theconfidentman.me to get your copy today.
Get your free Personal Reboot Guide at www.theconfidentman.me
Check out more resources to help you as a man at David Maxwell Coaching
Does it matter what we think? As long as others don't know our thoughts are we really hurting anyone? We are! As men, our minds are key to our success in life. Our thoughts lead to actions in one form or another. Our thoughts affect us first and foremost. We must do the work to develop a strong core mindset. If don't do the work to build a strong core mindset there are areas of our life that will forever be untapped.
What is a Core Mindset
- Our core mindset is the foundation of our thoughts
- We all think and how we think is our core mindset
- The push for sameness today has robbed many men of their ability to think
- We have to protect and work on our mindset
- Our core mindset is the key to our life
- As men, we must take back our core mindset
- Men who are confident in what they think and willing to explore and engage their full potential as men
The Default Core Mindset
- As men, our brains have a default core mindset
- It is a mindset that we have to battle and fight if we want to be men who make a positive difference in the world
- Here are some of the most common defaults in our minds that we have dealt with for centuries
- Selfishness
- Appetites
- Control
- Just as men have done for centuries, we must battle to develop a better core mindset
- The men who do this are the men who reach the full limits of their potential
The Better Core Mindset
- We have to recognize our messed-up core mindset if we are going to fix it
- This doesn't mean we beat ourselves up, but we try to objectively look at our actions and our thoughts
- Better Core Mindset Principle Characteristics
- Above us
- Practical as well as philosophical
- Timeless
- The Case for the Bible
- It's above us
- It's practical as well as philosophical
- Timeless
- What if I don't believe in God?
- The Bible is the best core mindset you can have as a man
Mentioned in this episode:
Get your free Personal Reboot Guide Ebook to start your year strong!Go to www.theconfidentman.me to get your copy today.
Get your free Personal Reboot Guide at www.theconfidentman.me
Check out more resources to help you as a man at David Maxwell Coaching
Unplugging from the hectic pace of life seems like a fantasy to many men today. They think things will slow down one day, but they often don't. The truth for us as men is If we want to win in the long term we have to learn to unplug. Unplugging isn't just sitting on our couch and doing nothing. Unplugging is dealing with the busyness of life in intentional ways so we don't burn out. Unplugging will keep us at the top of our game as men in every area of our life.
Busyness Excuses
- We are busy!
- We often brag about our busyness to others like it is a badge of honor
- Busyness can also be a security blanket that brings comfort to us
- We stay busy because it makes us feel important and gives us a sense of productivity
- Men want to feel productive and busyness helps to fit that need
- We have to get honest about how busy we are
- Men who are intentional about their busyness and controlling it will be men who stay fresh for the long run
Inward Journey Realities
- Downtime can mean reflection
- Inner dialogue can be challenging for men
- We beat ourselves up for the "should have " moments in our life
- We have to remember that reflection adds meaning to our life
- We reflect on our purpose and if we are living it
- We reflect on our schedule and if we are doing too much
- We reflect on our motivations and inner attitudes
- The inward journey is something that adds depth and richness to our lives as men
- The inward journey takes courage
Unplugging Tips
- Unplugging doesn't happen by accident
- There are different ways to unplug based on our personality and the realities of our life
- We can get ideas from other men, but we need to implement them in our life in a way that works
- Rest is unplugging
- Physical activity is a way to unplug
- Vacations
- Solo deep thinking retreats
- Our long-term success as men is dependent on our ability to unplug
Mentioned in this episode:
Get your free Personal Reboot Guide Ebook to start your year strong!Go to www.theconfidentman.me to get your copy today.
Get your free Personal Reboot Guide at www.theconfidentman.me
Check out more resources to help you as a man at David Maxwell Coaching
Many men are living their life with unnecessary baggage. No, I'm not talking about our weight!! I'm talking about the reality of emotional baggage in men. Emotional baggage weighs us down and often changes the way we live and interact with other people. Men can try to ignore the reality of their emotional baggage, but it does affect all aspects of our lives as men. If we want to explore our full potential as men we must recognize our baggage. Today's show will discuss the three main areas of baggage that men carry around.
Old Hurts
- Many men are carrying around old hurts like abuse, abandonment, or betrayal
- The problem is we aren't the best at dealing with these things
- Too often we nurse them and keep them inside of us
- Men also come up with plenty of excuses for why they don't deal with old hurts
Old Hangups
- I use the term old hangups to describe negative habits we picked up when we were young
- The problem is we are still dealing with them today as adults
- We often start them for one reason, then they control us
- They are bad for us because they keep us in a non-growth cycle
- Old hangups are a special case for men and they need outside help to overcome them
- We need help because the old hangup is usually a surface issue based on an inner problem
Old Guilt
- Have you ever said or done anything dumb in your life?
- I'm talking about the big things that we did that were wrong
- We may have been the bully, the betrayer, or the player
- This is a problem for us because it becomes a soundtrack in our heads that keeps us from growing
- We are constantly beating ourselves up in our heads over it
- This soundtrack skews our view of ourselves and how we live
- We need to deal with it and get rid of it
- The key is to deal with our old guilt and not let it hang around in our lives
Mentioned in this episode:
Get your free Personal Reboot Guide Ebook to start your year strong!Go to www.theconfidentman.me to get your copy today.
Get your free Personal Reboot Guide at www.theconfidentman.me
Check out more resources to help you as a man at David Maxwell Coaching
To live our ultimate adventure as men, we have to be aware of the overload danger. Too many of us will keep adding to our life to the point where we are overloaded. This hurts us, our relationships, and our purpose. Let's learn why we do this and what we can do to stop it.
The Gradual Creep
- Nobody gets overloaded on purpose
- We excuse it with justifications
- Overload's effect on us
- Overload and Relationships
The Garage Cleaning
- Overload won't go away by itself
- We begin overcoming overload by performing a garage cleaning
- Look at everything before you start to plan what you will do about it
- Then look at the available space available as we put things back into our lives
- We must be intentional with our time, not reactionary
- Cleaning out our schedule will greatly diminish the stress we feel in our lives
The Needed Questions
- Avoiding the Overload is accomplished when we learn to ask ourselves regular questions
- Remember that each of us is different so we can take these suggestions and questions and modify them to fit us and our unique situation
- Questions give us the power of agency
- What are my priorities?
- How many roles are we currently in?
- How much space are we building in our lives?
- If I add more, what am I stopping?
Mentioned in this episode:
Get your free Personal Reboot Guide Ebook to start your year strong!Go to www.theconfidentman.me to get your copy today.
Start your new year strong! Get your free Personal Reboot Guide at www.theconfidentman.me
Check out more resources to help you as a man at David Maxwell Coaching
We live in an overloaded society. We are overloaded with information and options. This can distract us as men from focusing on what is most important in our lives. In order to do this, we must learn to walk a different kind of road: Our Personal Narrow Road. This happens when we choose to live differently. We decide to figure out what is important to us and what we should focus on. This is a hard process, but men have always stepped up when things are hard. Let's understand what the narrow road is and how it can help us as men.
The Narrow Road Concept
- The narrow road is important for men because of our tendency to want to "do it all"
- We must focus our life and purpose as men in a narrow way or we will be distracted from our purpose
- Deciding to live the narrow road is to lighten your own load in life
- To live a life that isn't as stressful because you are not trying to do everything
- The narrow road is hard because we have to deal with our own motivations and inner issues
The Benefits of the Narrow Road
- The narrow road life helps us define our true purpose as men
- To live a narrow road life means we have to know our purpose
- Men who don't know their purpose will run after everything
- Men who are seeking validation cannot live on purpose
- Purpose acts like glasses to narrow your focus
- You may have desires to do specific things, but the timing may not be right
- The narrow road tells us where to put our time and energy
- When you make the decision about what is most important you are automatically prioritizing
Questions for the Narrow Road?
- No man is like you and you are not like any other man
- People can assist and help, but in the end, we have to cut our own trail in the jungle of life
- Taking responsibility for our life as men means we are focusing on what we CAN do no matter the situation or what's been done to us
- What is Our Reality?
- What Roles Do We Have?
- What Season of Life are We In?
- What is Most Natural?
Start your new year strong! Get your free Personal Reboot Guide at www.theconfidentman.me
Check out more resources to help you as a man at David Maxwell Coaching
Change is a billion-dollar industry. Men worldwide want to change but too often their change is short-lived and doesn't stick. Why is that? Are we just doomed to failure as men? Should we stop trying? The truth is change is possible for us but we have to do some things to help make it stick. We have to have the right mindset and approach the reality of change the right way.
The Change Dream
- The danger of dreaming about change is it becomes something only in our minds
- We become the type of men who always imagine and talk about something without actually doing it
- The danger of dreaming change is it only lives in our minds and becomes a game of pretend
- We forget the reality of change and how hard it is
- If we really want to change, we have to move out of the dream mode to the discipline mode
- When thinking of personal change, we must approach it like a job and not like a fantasy
- Real change demands that we do something different
The Change Motivation
- Sometimes we start something only to see it isn't the right thing or we need to shift to a different thing
- This is often part of our journey of growth as men and that is ok
- Motivation flows from purpose
- Men without a true purpose often fill their life with busyness
- Our meaning as men flows from our purpose
- Men without a real purpose often spend all their time searching for meaning
- Men who have a purpose outside of themselves are men who have taken the blinders off and see the people around them
- A man of purpose can serve others
The Change Action
- Real change does not come without one thing...Action
- Action is what makes our desire for change a reality
- We have to be honest with ourselves about the action we are taking to bring change into our lives
- Here are a few common hindrances to change in many men's lives:
- The Overload of Wishes
- The Lack of a Team
- Failure of Planning
- The Reality of War
Mentioned in this episode:
Get your free Personal Reboot Guide Ebook to start your year strong!Go to www.theconfidentman.me to get your copy today.
Get your free Personal Reboot Guide at www.theconfidentman.me
Check out more resources to help you as a man at David Maxwell Coaching
What are you doing to make an impact in your world? As men, personal reboots are vital if we want to continue to grow and impact the world. How we live and who we impact with our lives are related to our growth as men. Reboots help us to get centered in our lives and live our priorities out. Here are some questions to help us with our reboot.
Is Our Operating System Faulty?
- Our mindset is our operating system
- How we process things defines our thoughts and actions
- Spiritual Focus
- Selfish Focus
- Insecure Focus
What Are Our Priority Programs?
- What main areas of our life get our attention?
- Have you named your priorities?
- We need to make sure to focus on our personal priorities
- Men are holistic creatures
- Our relationships
- Wife/Girlfriend
- Kids
- Friendships
Are We Updating?
- The tendency we have to get into ruts as men
- We Do things the same way but eventually, it has to change cause life and circumstances change
- Life keeps moving even if we don't as men
- The danger of never changing is we get an odd sense of "nostalgia"
- We can also look back with regret if we never update to today
- Growth is our own responsibility as men
Mentioned in this episode:
Get your free Personal Reboot Guide Ebook to start your year strong!Go to www.theconfidentman.me to get your copy today.
Check out more resources to help you as a man at David Maxwell Coaching
As we come to the end of the year, we often think about setting up goals and resolutions for the new year. This isn't a bad thing if we approach it the right way. Many men fail at resolutions and goals because they don't do the vital work before they set goals. Men need to take time to do a personal reboot each year. This is a time when they connect with their purpose and direction as a man.
Personal reboots are regular updates that help us live with intentionality as men. Intentional men are powerful men! They focus their life and don't waste their energy on unnecessary things in their life. Keep reading to find the benefits of a personal reboot:
The Overloaded Desktop
- As men, we do this when we try to do it all
- We are often motivated by guilt
- These all show a lack of priorities
- We have to learn to say no
- Priorities help you focus on what you are good at
- We need a reboot as men so we realize how busy our life has become
The Junk Files
- We need to clean out the junk files in our lives
- Old Hurts
- Old Hangups
- Old Guilt
- These extra things end up taking up room that could be used for positive stuff in your life
- Live your ultimate adventure with freedom and power, not weighed down by old junk
The Unplugging Principle
- We have to be intentional about our priorities or they will be lost and forgotten
- We need to learn how to unplug as men
- We need to take the time to unplug with purpose
- What are your priorities? How are you living them?
- How are your relationships?
- How are you growing and learning new things?
Mentioned in this episode:
Get your free Personal Reboot Guide Ebook to start your year strong!Go to www.theconfidentman.me to get your copy today.
Check out more resources to help you as a man at David Maxwell Coaching
Work is not a four-letter word but it is often treated as something bad or evil in our society. This approach misses the positive benefits of work for us. The truth is men were created for work. When we work, it makes us better men in many different ways. How we approach work is also important. Our mindset for work is one of the biggest influences on our mindset toward every area of our lives.
The Work Attitude
- We have to recognize that our attitude toward work affects all aspects of it
- Work is necessary for us as men
- Financially
- Holistically
- Work has gotten a bad rap in our society and many men have a bad attitude toward it
- Work helps to make men better
- Men who don't work turn their energy and passion toward negative things
The Work Approach
- Ask yourself the question: "What is my attitude toward work?"
- The best way for us to approach work is with an "all-in" attitude
- Men are designed to have an all-in attitude
- Our attitude toward our job is the biggest influence on how we do at it
- We should approach our work with an all-in attitude
- If we hold back, that becomes an attitude that affects the rest of our life
- Your work approach will be your life approach
The Work Benefits
- As men, we need to look at work as something more than just something we do to make money
- There are many benefits we get from work
- Growth
- Attitude
- Change
- Satisfaction
- Worth
- Work has more influence on men's lives than most of them realize
- How you approach your work, makes a big difference in your life
Check out more resources to help you as a man at David Maxwell Coaching
In honor of Thanksgiving, we are doing a special show on gratitude. Gratitude is something that is tough for everyone to show, especially men. With our sense of duty, we often take gratitude for granted. We don't expect it and we don't give it. This isn't healthy and it weakens us as men. Gratitude gives us incredible perspective and deeper meaning to our everyday existence. It also makes us better men and strengthens our relationships. Gratitude is great and it helps us be great men!
Gratitude is something we should develop as a habit
The more grateful we are as men, the better men we will be
Gratitude Forces Reflection
- Gratitude demands thought
- Gratefulness means you think outside of yourself
- Gratefulness breaks us out of tunnel vision and makes us reflect on life
- Reflection brings recognition to us
Gratitude Encourages Humility
- Gratitude takes your focus off yourself and puts it on others
- Gratitude helps us come to the realization that we aren't the center of the universe
- We also see those who have helped us in the past
- We see those who are currently helping us
- We recognize God's blessings in our lives
- Humility is an understanding that we have come far, but we still have far to go
Gratitude Strengthens Relationships
- Gratitude helps us with relationships because it forces us to examine them
- We need to recognize the relationships we are grateful for
- Knowing that you made a difference and helped someone else, adds a positive focus to life
- Gratitude strengthens your current relationships
- Gratitude is one of the best ways to build strong long-lasting friendships
Check out more resources to help you as a man at David Maxwell Coaching
As men, we need work. Work is not just something we do each day. Work is something we were created for. Work is essential for men because it is a big part of their development as men. Our gifts and abilities are fine-tuned and built up through work. Work is honorable and we need to be careful that society's attack on work doesn't affect us as men. When we stop working, it isn't good for us as men. Work is something we were designed for and work makes us better men. Work is noble! We must embrace work and let it help us develop our full potential as men.
1- Created for Work
- Men love work
- We were made for it
- The origin of work
- We connect with the creativity in work
- Embrace your natural desire for work as a man
2 - Work and Flow
- One of the reasons men love work is because it gives them something to focus on
- A man's ability to be singularly focused is one of the most powerful aspects of our manhood
- This makes us different from women and that is why we complement each other
- Flow is the ability of men to give themselves over to the job they are doing
- Men love flow because of the synergy
- Men were created for flow
3 - Work's Satisfaction
- One of the most interesting parts of work is the satisfaction it brings us as men
- A job done well is important to us and our mentality as men
- This is important because that sense of satisfaction is part of our drive as men
- When men stop working and stop caring about work, they usually start down a road of destruction
- As our society has sought ways to replace the working man, men have been devastated
- Men without work and the satisfaction of work are often lost in life
Check out more resources to help you as a man at David Maxwell Coaching
What do you think of when you think of a spiritual man? Do we need spiritual men? How are they different from any other man? On today's show, we are talking about the power of a spiritual man. We will talk about how all men have a part of them that wants to connect to the infinite. We will also deal with the reality of our practical side as men and why we are that way. We will then hit on some tips you can implement to become a more spiritual man.
The Transcendence of Man
- As men, we have a natural desire for something bigger than ourselves
- In the creation story, God made man to be connected to Him
- Men who don't believe in God or don't try to connect with Him try other things
The Practical Man
- One of the biggest problems with our society's move toward the secular is men are pushed to be "practical"
- The problem is many Men have replaced their spiritual side with the practical
- A man's lack of spirituality though comes down to his own responsibility
- When men focus on just the practical and skip the spiritual it hurts them and hurts society
The Spiritual Man
- We start with our Creator and His book
- The foundation of belief has to be the Bible
- The greatest example of manhood: Jesus
- Why church?
Check out more resources to help you as a man at David Maxwell Coaching
What do you think of when you think of a spiritual man? Do we need spiritual men? How are they different from any other man? On today's show, we are talking about the power of a spiritual man. We will talk about how all men have a part of them that wants to connect to the infinite. We will also deal with the reality of our practical side as men and why we are that way. We will then hit on some tips you can implement to become a more spiritual man.
The Transcendence of Man
- As men, we have a natural desire for something bigger than ourselves
- In the creation story, God made man to be connected to Him
- Men who don't believe in God or don't try to connect with Him try other things
The Practical Man
- One of the biggest problems with our society's move toward the secular is men are pushed to be "practical"
- The problem is many Men have replaced their spiritual side with the practical
- A man's lack of spirituality though comes down to his own responsibility
- When men focus on just the practical and skip the spiritual it hurts them and hurts society
The Spiritual Man
- We start with our Creator and His book
- The foundation of belief has to be the Bible
- The greatest example of manhood: Jesus
- Why church?
Check out more resources to help you as a man at https://www.davidmaxwellcoaching.com/ (David Maxwell Coaching) The lie that men aren't emotional The Appeal of Stoicism Stoicism - Indifference to pleasure or pain There is a danger in looking at emotion as a bad thing We are emotional creatures We have emotions and we are better when we use them Stoicism gives the illusion of complete control Without our emotions, we are missing out on a big part of our design as men
The Missing Power Men were designed to have emotions Emotions were designed to power us as men A passionate man is driven Passion is more inward than outward You don't have to act emotional to be full of passion Passionate men make a difference in whatever they do
Tapping the Power Fighting passiveness Passiveness is an epidemic among men today The passiveness of Peace at all costs We must fight the areas of our life where we go passive We can't talk about our emotions without talking about the fake emotions that have so trapped so many men Your Power comes from your authentic self
Find resources to help you live your ultimate adventure: David Maxwell Coaching As men have gotten more passive in society we have seen the negative effects on our health. There is an overweight epidemic among men and we need to quit ignoring it and deal with it. Dealing with it starts with us! We have to take responsibility for our own physical fitness as men. The beginning starts not with our bodies but with our minds and how we think about fitness. The All or Nothing Tendency Go big or go home isn't a good attitude for our physical fitness All or nothing with fitness can hurt us when it comes to improving our physical fitness We can't ignore reality Find what works and what fits your life Understand that your fitness habits can change as the seasons of life change
The Fun Aspect The element of fun or enjoyment has to be part of it or you won't do it What CAN I do to make it happen and make it something I enjoy Think creatively when it comes to working out Getting in better shape doesn't have to hurt, you aren't in seal training Discipline is a decision Let fun be part of your physical fitness decision and you will be more consistent with it
Improve Your Grade Take a graded approach to your fitness Start with your reality first Moving up a grade could be just starting with one thing that helps improve your physical fitness Then think about moving up a grade Coaching can help your grades
Find more resources at David Maxwell Coaching Our minds are under attack as men. We have more distractions and things trying to take away our attention. Instead of blaming those things, we need to recognize them and do something about our own minds. The responsibility of our minds is ours as men. We have to make the decision on what we want our brain to focus on. This is important because what we think about ourselves defines how we act and allow ourselves to be treated by others. Men need to work to maintain their mental edge. See Our Brain as a Muscle Your brain is a muscle - not literally but figuratively Men are THINKERS As men, we need to challenge our brains Atrophy is a muscle problem but it has become a brain problem for many men
Engage in Brain Training We must adopt an attitude of training for our brain if we want to be men who think Reading Podcasts Planned thinking time Sleep Learn to listen better Productivity hacks Diet and brain realities
Fight Passive Brain Syndrome Consumer -vs- Critical thinker As men have become more consumers they have given themselves over to overriding passions The reality of porn Many men can't stay in a relationship because of how the sexuality of our society has impacted them Men should approach relationships with Intentionality As you lead yourself as a man you will gain the strength to be a servant leader to your wife and family
Get more information about growing as a man at https://my.captivate.fm/www.davidmaxwellcoaching.com (David Maxwell Coaching) Here is the second part of our interview with Joel Green on the Confident Man Podcast. Joel is CEO of Pro Level Training and the National Director of Nike Sports Camps. He is a former professional basketball player and a renowned motivational speaker. After retiring from his career in professional basketball, Joel founded Pro Level Training (PLT), which has become a 7-figure company. He is an accomplished speaker and has spoken to thousands and delivered his own TED Talk. He recently released his first book, https://nam04.safelinks.protection.outlook.com/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.joelbgreen.com%2Fshop&data=05%7C01%7Ckridley%40sbgtv.com%7Ca01b600b8c8c4ee5ab7108da851e7895%7C897dbc0dc02d43479a713e589c67f8aa%7C0%7C0%7C637968663178837162%7CUnknown%7CTWFpbGZsb3d8eyJWIjoiMC4wLjAwMDAiLCJQIjoiV2luMzIiLCJBTiI6Ik1haWwiLCJXVCI6Mn0%3D%7C3000%7C%7C%7C&sdata=QU3YvJnE36yK9PA%2FmjwKmGv%2BSxHM4pbPRaPpreEGkeY%3D&reserved=0 (Filtering: The Way to Extract Strength from the Struggle). In the book, Joel talks about the reality of his rough life growing up and how it motivated him and helped him become the man he is today This is a great conversation and I hope it motivates you to push yourself and grow as a man! “Filtering: The Way to Extract Strength from the Struggle” https://www.joelbgreen.com/shop (https://www.joelbgreen.com/shop) Website: https://www.joelbgreen.com/ (https://www.joelbgreen.com/) Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jaygreenplt/ (https://www.instagram.com/jaygreenplt/) LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/joel-green-95340417/ (https://www.linkedin.com/in/joel-green-95340417/) Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/joel.green.35 (https://www.facebook.com/joel.green.35)
Get more information about growing as a man at David Maxwell Coaching Today we are honored to have Joel Green on the Confident Man Podcast. Joel is CEO of Pro Level Training and the National Director of Nike Sports Camps. He is a former professional basketball player and a renowned motivational speaker. After retiring from his career in professional basketball, Joel founded Pro Level Training (PLT), which has become a 7-figure company. He is an accomplished speaker and has spoken to thousands and delivered his own TED Talk. He recently released his first book, https://nam04.safelinks.protection.outlook.com/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.joelbgreen.com%2Fshop&data=05%7C01%7Ckridley%40sbgtv.com%7Ca01b600b8c8c4ee5ab7108da851e7895%7C897dbc0dc02d43479a713e589c67f8aa%7C0%7C0%7C637968663178837162%7CUnknown%7CTWFpbGZsb3d8eyJWIjoiMC4wLjAwMDAiLCJQIjoiV2luMzIiLCJBTiI6Ik1haWwiLCJXVCI6Mn0%3D%7C3000%7C%7C%7C&sdata=QU3YvJnE36yK9PA%2FmjwKmGv%2BSxHM4pbPRaPpreEGkeY%3D&reserved=0 (Filtering: The Way to Extract Strength from the Struggle). In the book, Joel talks about the reality of his rough life growing up and how it motivated him and helped him become the man he is today This is a great conversation and I hope it motivates you to push yourself and grow as a man! “Filtering: The Way to Extract Strength from the Struggle” https://www.joelbgreen.com/shop (https://www.joelbgreen.com/shop) Website: https://www.joelbgreen.com/ (https://www.joelbgreen.com/) Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jaygreenplt/ (https://www.instagram.com/jaygreenplt/) LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/joel-green-95340417/ (https://www.linkedin.com/in/joel-green-95340417/) Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/joel.green.35 (https://www.facebook.com/joel.green.35)
Many Men today struggle when it comes to long-term relationships. In fact, many men buy into the theme that long-term relationships like marriage are boring. This is a big lie and too many men are buying into it. This is because they don't understand the secret formula for relationships success: Consistent Investment + Focused Attitudes = Relational Success Men were designed to assume responsibility in relationships. As men have given that up, it has hurt them and our society. Today we talk about some of the mindset shifts we have to have as men to produce successful long-term relationships. Seeing Relationships as Journeys, not Races When we come with an attitude of exploration instead of winning, we see relationships as a constant adventure Let's look at some of the reasons as a strong case for Marriage The fallout of Swipe Culture Maturing of Men in Marriage Long-Term Benefits of Investing Relationships are journeys
Seeing New Seasons as New Paths for Growth Life is full of new seasons, but the benefits often come from our attitude in the season As the seasons change you have the opportunity to discover new paths for growth This is a natural design and gives us a natural variety of relationships You have an opportunity at each season to forge a new path in your relationships Men caught in the short-term relationship cycle never get a chance to experience this This lack of relational growth hurts you as a man Men who don't get this just become older teenagers
Seeing Fun as an Important Relational Component One of the biggest pieces of advice I give to young men looking for a wife is to look for someone they can have fun with Anyone can have sex; however, can you have fun with someone apart from sex? The healthiest marriages are when a couple are also good friends It provides a stronger sense of security to the relationship and for times apart Fun involves give and take in the couple Look for a woman you enjoy
Pursuit is important to men. Men love a challenge and going after a goal or a prize. This is the way we were designed. Pursuit is at its best expression in our life when we are going after a real purpose, a purpose outside of ourselves. Selfishness isn't a purpose because it destroys a man's pursuit. Selfishness will cause men to miss out on their ability to develop all of their gifts and make a positive impact in the world. Men need pursuit because it makes us better men and helps our society be positive instead of negative. Pursuit Combats Wasted Selfishness Selfishness is a waste of a man's life This hurts our society This hurts families When a man is pursuing a bigger vision than his own life, he improves all aspects of his life Pursuing a purpose makes us live above animals
Pursuit Guides Small Decisions Pursuit helps us as men because it acts as our map When you are pursuing a goal, it helps you with all the little decisions you have to make Pursuing a life purpose helps with the small seemingly insignificant days of life Pursuit gives focus to your life Pursuit gives you the ability to prioritize and figure your time usage
Pursuit Gives Direction for Gifts One of the best things pursuit does for us as men is it challenges us to be our very best with the gifts we have Our gifts as men are designed to be used to serve others Serving others is the highest form of manhood expression When you are genuinely exercising and using your gifts to serve you develop confidence One of the best things you can do as a man is mentor another man
Find coaching resources at https://www.davidmaxwellcoaching.com/ (David Maxwell Coaching) The Link to the video I talked about in the opener: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wF3FX43F-7Y (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wF3FX43F-7Y) Weakness is something many men struggle with today. I'm not talking about physical weakness but an overall weakness of character. This isn't something men have done on purpose. Men have been attacked and put down for over 50 years! We are seeing the effects today with men who are living weak lives because that is what has been modeled for them. However, you don't have to accept it. We are going to talk about what has made us weak as men and how we need to embrace our natural passion as men. Passion is our natural power source. The Reason We Have So Many Weak Men Society needs men of passion Men and women are different and men are designed to live a life of passion Men are similar but aren't the same The castration of the modern man Passionate men can't be controlled Passionate men do the unexpected
The Case for Passion Passion is the energy source for men A man's passion is contagious and is how we influence others Men of passion make a difference in the world Passion flows from purpose We shouldn't be afraid of our passion as men We should embrace it and stoke the fires within
The Focused Passion of a Man The biggest thing men battle today is focusing their passions Unfocused passion becomes out-of-control appetites Men who don't have a purpose outside of themselves will become the focus of their own purpose Unfocused passion wastes a man's potential Men grow and mature as they learn that life isn't all about them Focused passions direct your life and engage all of your abilities and strengths as a man
Identity is one of the most important things for a man to walk in confidence. He needs to know who he is and what he is all about. Yet, so many men today are going through life without a real identity. They wear masks throughout their life and miss out on their true design. Identity is important to men but no one can give a man their identity. Each man must find his identity himself. There are no shortcuts to this or hacks that can help a man take the easy route. Each man must take on the responsibility of finding his own identity and it starts with finding his purpose. The Missing Element of Identity We need to answer the question, "Why am I here?" Purpose is the missing element of identity The key to purpose is understanding that purpose is unique Men need purpose because it drives us
Purpose Must Be Found As men, purpose is something we must look for and find for ourselves Every man must find his purpose Men were designed to live with an outward focus and we are at our best when we do Your purpose is found in the small decisions that you build up every day
Purpose Anchors a Man The power of purpose is not as much what the purpose is but what it does to us as men Purpose gives us an anchor in our life Purpose is a foundation for our relationships Purpose helps you build consistency Consistency in our life must be built on something more than feelings or motivation
Find resources to help you grow as a man at https://www.davidmaxwellcoaching.com/ (David Maxwell Coaching) The definition of identity is "The condition of being oneself." The problem with many men is they aren't sure how to be themselves. Many grew up without a good example of a man so they are often figuring it out as they move through adulthood. They often live with a weight of insecurity and inwardly ask themselves, "Am I doing this right?" This insecurity is hurting men today because men without identity often hurt themselves, others, and society as a whole. We are digging into identity and why it is so important to us as men. Why Identity is Important As men, our identity is the foundation of everything in our life What you think of yourself is the foundation of how you live The danger of this for many men is this was something modeled for them
The Danger of Group Identity What many men do when they don't really have an identity is go looking for an identity Any pack that brings recognition attracts men with no identity Packs aren't bad for men The good or bad of a pack is based on the motivation of your pick Men need to understand Similar vs Sameness
Why Don't Men Have an Identity? Lack of contemplation Overload of distractions Outward scorecards
Think about your own identity this week Do you own your identity? Do you have one? Have you given control of your life to group identity or to some type of scorecard?
CELEBRATION!! This is our 100th episode. We have been coaching and empowering men for 100 episodes and I thank you our listeners for being part of this movement. Our goal is to empower men to live their ultimate adventure by helping them find and live their full potential. This episode is me sharing some lessons I've learned over the last 100 episodes. This is to help you see what a journey can often look like and hopefully it will encourage you to keep pressing on in your life. Lessons Learned Over the Last 100 Episodes: Ownership of a vision is a mixture of solid rock and a flowing river Growth is time-consuming and expensive The hardest part of growth is self-identification and self-improvement Don't forget other people's journeys when viewing their success It's not about me Hard work is as much mental as anything else My own ultimate adventure Where we are going with The Confident Man
To see all that we do to empower men check out https://www.davidmaxwellcoaching.com/ (www.davidmaxwellcoaching.com)
This week we are finishing out our series on being a free man or a tame man. We are doing a comparison of different attitudes that free men have vs the attitudes the tame men have. As you listen, think through where you are at in your life and see if any tame attitude is creeping into your life. We are men and have to focus on how to keep growing so we can make more of a difference in the lives of others. Our society needs free men and it's time for us to step up and live free! FREE MEN LIVE AN ADVENTURE vs TAME MEN LIVE A ROUTINE FREE MEN THINK CREATIVELY vs TAME MEN EXIST PASSIVELY FREE MEN ENGAGE IN RELATIONSHIPS vs TAME MEN GET BY IN RELATIONSHIPS
Find more resources to help you grow as a man at https://www.davidmaxwellcoaching.com/?r_done=1 (davidmaxwellcoaching.com) You can also check out our other podcast https://hey-dad.captivate.fm (The Hey Dad Podcast)
We are taking a couple of weeks off, so we are showcasing some of the most downloaded episodes on the Podcast. This episode talks about how to deal with our emotions as men. We really do have emotions! We get into what it looks like and how to gain more power from them. When a man is connected to his own emotions he becomes more powerful 1 - Judgement Free Zone The best place to deal with your own emotions is to enter the judgment-free zone The Judgment Free Zone is when you take an honest look at your emotions without judging yourself The reason we often don't deal with our emotions is that we judge ourselves for them When we enter a judgment-free zone, we are taking away the judgment of our feelings and just dealing with them When we are in the judgment-free zone we can look at ourselves realistically and objectively
2 - Open & Honest Thoughts Affirming and recognizing our thoughts is key to knowing and communicating our emotions We also learn when to listen to our "gut" Men can connect in relationships better when they understand their own thoughts When all you do is grind, you tend to just check out mentally because of exhaustion Exhausted men don't seek to understand their thoughts
3 - Close Friendships One of the best things we can do for our emotions is have close friends Men need men, Men do better when they have close friends As men, close friends help bring balance to our emotions Without close friends men can get off track easily Men's emotions need to have open and honest friendships to grow and develop
Hey guys, I'm taking a small break so we are doing a couple of encore presentations. This is an encore presentation of one of the most popular podcasts we have published. We talk about the differences between men and women and how those are a great thing. As men, if we make a few key mindset changes we can gain incredible understanding of the women in our lives. Some mindset changes in us as men can help us grain understanding Get the Right Mindset You don't have to understand all women. Recognize Their Individuality Every woman wants to be seen for who they actually are and not who you want them to be or who society says they should be. Become a Student of Them Seek to explore and get to know the woman of your relationship with energy and passion.
Many men today have allowed themselves to be tame. They have given up a part of their manhood that they were created with. This has hurt them as men and it has hurt us as a society. On today's show, we talk about the dangers associated with being a tame man and how why we should fight against being tame men. A TAME MAN LIVES IN A CAGE Caged Men Seek Comfort Caged Men Expect Provision Caged Men Assign Blame Caged Men Seek an Escape
A TAME MAN HAS QUIT Tame Men Quit Trying Tame Men Quit Engaging Tame Men Quit Dreaming for Themselves
A TAME MAN STIFLES HIS ABILITIES Tame Men Stifle Their Future Tame Men Stifle Their Dreams
Freedom appeals to men! All men long to have a sense of their own freedom. This is something that we are born with as men. This week we are going to look at the benefits of freedom. Freedom isn't just about a feeling or a sense of adventure. Freedom has some specific benefits that make us better as men. Without it, we will have a serious lack in our life. FREEDOM BRINGS ENERGY When a man feels free he is filled with energy for life Freedom brings energy but it doesn't guarantee success Freedom has to do with you living to your full potential Men need freedom They need the energy that freedom brings
FREEDOM BRINGS RESPONSIBILITY When a man lives in freedom it doesn't free him from responsibility Freedom brings more responsibility to every man Men need this responsibility because it keeps them remaining children their whole lives Men without freedom will disengage from life because they haven't taken responsibility for themselves or their world The responsibility that comes with freedom is part of what makes us better men
FREEDOM BRINGS FOCUS Freedom causes us to focus our life When a man has the responsibility he gets really focused on what he needs to do We have a society of selfish men who think they are owed something When men aren't free, they only focus on themselves and their appetites Free men focus on what is important and develop the important ability to say no to themselves
This week we are talking about our freedom as men. Men often long for freedom but what does it look like? We are going to use a specific definition of a free man in our discussions today: FREE MAN - A MAN WHO LIVES HIS FULL POTENTIAL Free men live better lives and make a positive difference in the world, but it doesn't come easy. Today we are going to discuss the battles that all of us face as men when seeking to live free. Men Battle an Inner Drive for Comfort Comfort can cause us to stop moving toward our full potential Our desire for comfort is us rewarding ourselves and saying "we deserve this" Our purpose should be the driver of our life and not the desire for comfort We lose freedom when we start to make decisions based on what is easy and not what is right We have to be careful as men and watch to make sure that our drive has not become comfort-based and not purposed based
Men Battle the Casualties of War Getting hurt is a part of life The emotional hurts are the hardest ones to overcome Many men get hurt emotionally and they check out of life By doing this they are willingly giving up on the freedom that comes with living their full potential Dealing with hurts is learning to process them
Men Battle the Fatigue of the Fight The military calls it R&R = Rest and Recuperation; Rest and Recreation; Rest and Rehabilitation We must take fatigue seriously What is Rest? What is Recuperation (Recreation) R&R is our responsibility as men We also have to balance them with our roles as husbands, dads, workers, etc...
Last week we talked about the problems with the silent man syndrome. Many men are paralyzed into silence in their lives. It hurts their relationships, their own success, and society as a whole. We want to not just see our problems of silence but we want to overcome them. This week we are talking about what it takes to overcome the silent man syndrome. There are some realities that we have to change if we are going to be the men we were designed to be. Here are the keys we cover in the episode. Play The Long Game This is important for us to understand because changing it won't be short or easy The long game is us starting to make small incremental changes that build over time Discouragement is what takes men out Our goal is total victory over the problem and not just a quick short-lived win
Travel The Inward Journey The inward journey for men is them going into the land of their thoughts and feelings Men are incredibly passionate and feel deeply We have to dig down to the Foundations of insecurity and shame that keep us silent We also have to start Dealing with Hurts and Hangups The key for us to deal with them is to Don't Go Alone
Decide Our Why Priorities don't happen by accident Priorities flow from your WHY Our Why guides us through the many choices we have to make every day Our why keeps us moving in hard times when the unexpected happens
I fear that many of the problems we are facing as a country are because too many men have been silenced We have let our voice and influence be taken away Men aren't speaking up and leading the way they should SILENT MEN ARE INSECURE When a man is insecure, he is living his life for the approval of others We see this in men who often change their opinion We see this in men who will dramatically change who they are based on who they hang around When men seek acceptance they never find their own voice As men, we must build a foundation of security or our insecurity will doom us to silence
SILENT MEN ARE BUSY A busy man lives by the motto: "I don't have time" We don't have time to speak up when we stay busy These are the excuses that compel many men to stay silent Many relationships are superficial for men because they don't have time for them either Busy men don't speak up when they see unethical practices at work Busy men can justify their own lack of ethics with things because "they deserve it" A man's busyness keeps him from becoming influential and impacting others
SILENT MEN ARE DISTRACTED We live in a distracted world Distractions are not bad in and of themselves, but they can keep us from really developing the way we should as men Distractions can be many forms for men We have to be careful with how much we indulge our distractions Our distractions are too much when we use them to "escape" from reality When men live only for their distractions they disengage from the world Because they live for their distraction, they are silent in the real world
SILENT MEN ARE SHAMEFUL There has to be right and wrong and as men, we are called to stand up for right Character and integrity should be the pillars of strength for men Dr. Henry Cloud in his book Integrity: "Character is the ability to meet the demands of reality" Too many men can't meet the demands of reality because they are caught up in their own shame As our society has gotten more sexualized and the use of porn has increased, men have grown more silent Many men live in a secret world that demands all their attention so they don't live in reality Men are silent because they live with their inner shame, so they don't speak up
To be a better dad is to be a better listener Why Listening is So Important Listening is one of the greatest things you can do as a dad to connect with your kids Understand this doesn't mean agreement, or giving in Listening Encourages Conversation Listening helps You earn the right to be heard
The Hard Part of Listening Listening is hard, it just is Give them some grace Take them seriously and care about what they say Create times to do the listening Your attention when they are young will pay off as they get older Listening is a key part of pursuing a relationship with your kids
The Full Contact Nature of Listening Listening is a full-contact sport Listening isn't for the passive Ask questions Make conversation a family tradition Questions are better than statements Challenge assumptions Get them to teach you something
Mentioned in this episode: Fatherhood Masterclass I've created the Fatherhood Masterclass to Give you Clarity on the most important things you can do as a dad Teach you the Secret to raising secure children Show you the Power of your words and what they mean to your kids Provide the best way to Engage with your kids This video class does all this by covering 3 key areas of focus that will empower you to be a better father in less than 30 minutes Join me for this Masterclass and get empowered today
Dad love is a different kind of love The reality of men and women being different is seen in how they interact with their children OUR VOICE As men, we must speak our love and affirmation to our children It must come from a place of sincerity Sincerity is us being ourselves, but showing them our love to them and believing in them Our words of love and affirmation hold incredible power over our children We may have to do extra work to learn how to do this, especially if it wasn't modeled to us
OUR ATTENTION Our attention as men is what you do to show love This is the most natural for many of us as men because we are doers Pursue them and be a student of them Serve them love ala carte Give it to them in the way they receive it Men are great at doing and we don't want to waste our energy We want to focus it so our kids know how much we love them
OUR CHALLENGE One of the main reasons kids need their dad with them in the home is to challenge them with love You challenge with Discipline and Coaching Discipline is love You are lovingly challenging them to be better
Mentioned in this episode: Fatherhood Masterclass I've created the Fatherhood Masterclass to Give you Clarity on the most important things you can do as a dad Teach you the Secret to raising secure children Show you the Power of your words and what they mean to your kids Provide the best way to Engage with your kids This video class does all this by covering 3 key areas of focus that will empower you to be a better father in less than 30 minutes Join me for this Masterclass and get empowered today
Being a great dad means focusing on your inside How you dad starts with how you live as a man Bring Our Backpack To be a great dad who leads his family a man has to learn how to lead himself Men have to decide that they are taking responsibility for their family Bring your backpack means you are coming to your role as a dad with the right tools and attitude Tools Your tools are the things you are growing in As you grow and develop as a man you get more tools in the backpack for your relationships Your tools are a key part of being a great dad, but no one else can get them for you Attitude It's an ALL IN attitude - Being a dad gets all of you Your kids will sense when they are a bother to you Investing in kids is seeing them and knowing them Spoiling is lazy dad activity
Brush Our Teeth Each man is responsible for their own teeth You have to take responsibility for your own life Many guys are walking around carrying baggage from their life Your problems will grow and affect your family if you don't deal with them You must approach these areas with a relentless determination The thing you can't or won't overcome is the thing that is hurting your ability to be a great dad
Be Ourselves Men can be similar but they aren't the same JUST BE YOU Be secure in who you are as a man Secure Men make the best dads because of what they do Secure men can change Secure men can connect Secure men raise secure children Kids see past your pretending to be perfect You don't have to share everything with your kids, but they need to see your authentic self Kids want a secure dad who is working to grow and learn
Mentioned in this episode: Fatherhood Masterclass I've created the Fatherhood Masterclass to Give you Clarity on the most important things you can do as a dad Teach you the Secret to raising secure children Show you the Power of your words and what they mean to your kids Provide the best way to Engage with your kids This video class does all this by covering 3 key areas of focus that will empower you to be a better father in less than 30 minutes Join me for this Masterclass and get empowered today
Check out the Free https://davidthemaxwell.kartra.com/page/IoF743 (Fatherhood Masterclass) Your success as a dad is based on the little things When you put together the little things over time, your influence as a dad grows
Priorities are Daily Choices What you choose to do daily is your priority Saying something and doing something are two different things Prioritizing is choosing Picking is prioritizing We have to pick our priorities as Dads Being a Dad means showing up, whether you feel like it or not
Love isn't A Show Love is the long game Speaking Life Giving Time Discipline Love isn't what we see on a screen Love is how you show up in the little ways
Responsibility is the Weight Men Carry We were created to carry the weight of responsibility in the family Responsibility matures us as men and we need that Men without responsibility are just grown-up children Don't give up your Fatherhood to a school or a screen Be a great dad, give your best and make it happen Men were made for this and its the greatest thing we can do to change the world
Mentioned in this episode: Fatherhood Masterclass I've created the Fatherhood Masterclass to Give you Clarity on the most important things you can do as a dad Teach you the Secret to raising secure children Show you the Power of your words and what they mean to your kids Provide the best way to Engage with your kids This video class does all this by covering 3 key areas of focus that will empower you to be a better father in less than 30 minutes Join me for this Masterclass and get empowered today
Check out the new Fatherhood Masterclass A free class that will give you 3 key areas of focus to be a better dad! Men are fathers and that is part of our calling, part of our main role How do we become good fathers? It all starts with looking at Our Fatherhood Realities
Our Fatherhood Past What you got and what you didn't get from your father This isn't a time to judge or hate Your dad probably did the best he could You are different from your dad Learn the good things, but don't hate or worship the past Too many men are trying to either be the opposite of their father or the carbon copy of their dad They just need to do the work to be who they are
Our Fatherhood Present Some men don't self-examine because it is tough They may be at a place where they don't have a great relationship with their kids We are the best at beating ourselves up over everything as men Providing is a good role to fill, but it isn't a relationship We can have a relationship with our kids! Kids want their Dad! As Fathers, We model the life we want them to live We need to look at the realities of our present
Our Fatherhood Future As Fathers, one of the most important things we do is look to the future for our kids Fathers are the guide for their kids Fathers have to be ahead We have to ask ourselves "What am I doing to grow and become a better man and better father?" How are we preparing for our kid's future? Your growth now affects your ability to be a great dad in the future You can change your future How you live and the way you live will be the biggest influence on your kids Your influence on your kids matters Even if you've blown it in some ways, take the time to build the relationship now You won't regret it and your kids will love your effort
Mentioned in this episode: Fatherhood Masterclass I've created the Fatherhood Masterclass to Give you Clarity on the most important things you can do as a dad Teach you the Secret to raising secure children Show you the Power of your words and what they mean to your kids Provide the best way to Engage with your kids This video class does all this by covering 3 key areas of focus that will empower you to be a better father in less than 30 minutes Join me for this Masterclass and get empowered today
Here is the 2nd part of a great interview with Kenny Dallas of M46dads.com He and Tim Sexton started M46 Dads with a heart to help men be better men and fathers. M46dads seeks to inspire and equip fathers to fight for the hearts of their children. They focus on creating a community for men: We are not meant to live isolated… dads operate best in community. M46 believes every dad needs more than a community, they need a brotherhood. We want you connected, because as Psalm 133:1 says, “How good and pleasant it is when brothers live together in unity!” Find out more at: https://m46dads.com/ Find out more about David and his coaching at www.davidmaxwellcoaching.com
Incredible interview with Kenny Dallas of M46dads.com He and Tim Sexton started M46 Dads with a heart to help men be better men and fathers. M46dads seeks to inspire and equip fathers to fight for the hearts of their children. They focus on creating a community for men: We are not meant to live isolated… dads operate best in community. M46 believes every dad needs more than a community, they need a brotherhood. We want you connected, because as Psalm 133:1 says, “How good and pleasant it is when brothers live together in unity!” Find out more at: https://m46dads.com/ Find out more about David and his coaching at www.davidmaxwellcoaching.com
“I am a slow walker, but I never walk back.” ― Abraham Lincoln Action Over Perfection Action over perfection means you have an attitude of moving even if you aren't perfect Everyone has their things they struggle with We have to focus on ourselves as men We must shift our minds to adopt an attitude of progress The courage to show up even when we are getting kicked around is hard, but that is what we do as men! Stopping and quitting is us admitting defeat, as long as we are moving we are making progress.
Lifelong Learning Having an open mind and being willing to learn new things is a key part of making progress As we get older we have a tendency to settle on what we know There is always more growth that can happen Growth is what happens in our minds We should seek to stay curious Being a lifelong learner is a key to making progress at every stage of your life
Know Our Place We aren't the center of the universe It helps to put our mess-ups and failures in perspective We aren't the center of the universe but we DO MATTER Fatherlessness is an epidemic and it is destroying many lives This doesn't mean things will be easy or fair We should also learn to laugh at ourselves as men
The unknown is part of the appeal of life to us as men Plans Are Important But Not Perfect Plans are important because they give us direction as men Men who don't make plans have no direction and aren't ready for the unknown when it hits Men with direction can steer through the unknown Our plans cannot be perfect because we don't know the future Understand that the point is to make a plan and be men who take responsibility for ourselves
The Unknown Is the Adventure There is something in us as men that longs for adventure We are looking for a sense of adventure because we have allowed ourselves to give it up in life Living in the unknown is about taking a new boldness with your life The journey is the process and the process is the journey We don't want to lose the thrill of the adventure as men
Growth Fuels the Adventure The one thing we can control is how we choose to grow We have lost our spirit of adventure and put all our energy into work because that is all we know Growth is something we have to focus on holistically We need to quit being consumers of life and be captains of our life As men, we can't be captured and cataloged
We continue our interview with Jody Dyess and hear some of his practical takeaways on his journey as a man. It's a fascinating interview showing how the journey is a big part of what makes us the men we are today. It also fuels us to keep exploring and living our adventures. Traveling throughout the U.S., Jody has presented to thousands of high school and middle school students, challenging and motivating them to speak up and say something against bullying and exploitation. He has done this through innovative and powerful school assemblies designed to equip students to stand up and say something about the issues that threaten their futures. Jody has been in the fight against human trafficking for many years. He works with FREE International, an organization that fights human trafficking in the U.S., and has trained over a thousand law enforcement and first responders on how to recognize and respond to the signs of labor and sex trafficking. In 2017, he was appointed to the Mississippi Human Trafficking Task Force and has been the keynote speaker for various government and advocacy groups on the issue of trafficking. Jody communicates out of his own experiences and life lessons, some of them not so glamorous. It is his real-life approach that makes him a sought-after communicator to both students and adults. Find out more about Jody and what he does: http://saysomethingassembly.com/ (SAY SOMETHING ASSEMBLY) http://www.freeinternational.org/ (FREE International)
In this episode with interview Jody Dyess and talk about his journey as a man. It's a fascinating interview showing how the journey is a big part of what makes us the men we are today. It also fuels us to keep exploring and living our adventures. Traveling throughout the U.S., Jody has presented to thousands of high school and middle school students, challenging and motivating them to speak up and say something against bullying and exploitation. He has done this through innovative and powerful school assemblies designed to equip students to stand up and say something about the issues that threaten their futures. Jody has been in the fight against human trafficking for many years. He works with FREE International, an organization that fights human trafficking in the U.S., and has trained over a thousand law enforcement and first responders on how to recognize and respond to the signs of labor and sex trafficking. In 2017, he was appointed to the Mississippi Human Trafficking Task Force and has been the keynote speaker for various government and advocacy groups on the issue of trafficking. Jody communicates out of his own experiences and life lessons, some of them not so glamorous. It is his real-life approach that makes him a sought-after communicator to both students and adults. Find out more about Jody and what he does: http://saysomethingassembly.com/ (SAY SOMETHING ASSEMBLY) http://www.freeinternational.org/ (FREE International)
Get the https://davidthemaxwell.kartra.com/page/kbS733 (4A Assessment) We must embrace our uniqueness as men Men Have Similarities Similarities are not a bad thing it's just a reality We don't lose ourselves in similarities Men will connect through similarities The lonely issue with men for many of them is their lack of connection As men, we have to learn that our similarities are a good thing when we connect with other men through them
Men Don't Have Sameness We are similar as men but we aren't the same Part of our adventure as men is the journey of discovery If we don't go on the journey, we can become part of the collective Similarities are natural, but you don't want to lose your personal identity to the group We have to make sure in our quest for acceptance and connection we don't lose who we are as a man
Men Must Embrace Their Uniqueness Every man is unique and part of our growth and development as men is embracing that uniqueness Developing Inward Validation Having a Growth Mentality Looking Outward Our uniqueness as men is something we must strive to grow When we know ourselves, we can contribute to other people and the world better
1 Emotional Extremes As men, we are supposed to mature and move past being extreme in our emotions We don't control our emotions but are controlled by our emotions and it shows by Stunted Emotional Growth Missing Role Model Selfish Focus
2 Playing Parts Many men morph depending on who they are around They have never done the work of discovering their own identity This hurts them as they build relationships The deeper you are as a man, the deeper your relationships You'll never be your best when you only play a part
Men can and should be deep thinkers, but we don't think of them that way Men are action-oriented but our actions should be based on our depth How Did We Lose Depth Depth is lost when generalizations are accepted There are plenty of men who lack depth, but that isn't all men and it doesn't have to be you Many men don't grow because they have peer pressure to conform Men have also lost Depth because we aren't challenged to be thinkers If we can't hold attention, how can we think?
How Shallowness Hurts Us Shallowness is image-focused Shallow men don't see their character and thought process as important Shallow men are creatures of appetites Shallow men are masters of justification Shallow men keep themselves from deep meaningful relationships
How to Grow Deep Being deep doesn't mean you change your personality Education doesn't mean depth Depth as a man is when we know ourselves and think through our purposes of life We each have to discover where to start We grow deep when we build our life on a purpose and not on pleasure
Jack Harper is the Vice President and Men’s Director for SaveOne. SaveOne is a ministry to those who have gone through Abortion. Jack works with men who have dealt with abortion. Many people don't think about the men who are affected by abortion and Jack helps us to see the reality of that. With over 63 million abortions, this affects a whole lot of men. Jack is a former pastor, a Board Certified Mental Coach, and a member of the American Association of Christian Counselors. You can find out more about Jack at https://saveone.org/ (Save One) To get more information you can email info@saveone.org Find a Save One Chapter https://saveone.org/chapters (HERE)
Jack Harper is the Vice President and Men’s Director for SaveOne. SaveOne is a ministry to those who have gone through Abortion. Jack works with men who have dealt with abortion. Many people don't think about the men who are affected by abortion and Jack helps us to see the reality of that. With over 63 million abortions, this affects a whole lot of men. Jack is a former pastor, a Board Certified Mental Coach, and a member of the American Association of Christian Counselors. You can find out more about Jack at https://saveone.org/ (Save One)
Resources for you as a man: www.theconfidentman.me Many men are lacking passion It is hurting them as men and it is hurting our society Men who are passionate make a difference Men who are passionate live better lives
Men Were Created to be Passionate Many people are trying to take away our passion as men Men were created to be passionate and we shouldn't run from that We should embrace it and let our passion be focused on good things Men who aren't given a place to put their passions will put it somewhere As men, we need to embrace our passion and let it flow naturally from us
Passionate Men Impact Lives We are at our most influential when we are passionate A passionate man is powerful Passionate men can make a difference for good Our society needs men who are passionate about life and about doing the right thing We have allowed fear of our passions to keep many of us from stepping up to be the men we should be
Passion Shouldn't Be Wasted Your passion as a man is too important to waste Don't waste it on something that doesn't matter or hurts others You want to engage in life and not just sit back and dream about life A man's natural passion is to be acted on When a man lives his passion he is full within himself and can focus on others
When a man is connected to his own emotions he becomes more powerful 1 - Judgement Free Zone The best place to deal with your own emotions is to enter the judgment-free zone The judgment Free Zone is when you take an honest look at your emotions without judging yourself The reason we often don't deal with our emotions is that we judge ourselves for them When we enter a judgment-free zone, we are taking away the judgment of our feelings and just dealing with them When we are in the judgment-free zone we can look at ourselves realistically and objectively
2 - Open & Honest Thoughts Affirming and recognizing our thoughts is key to knowing and communicating our emotions We also learn when to listen to our "gut" Men can connect in relationships better when they understand their own thoughts When all you do is grind, you tend to just check out mentally because of exhaustion Exhausted men don't seek to understand their thoughts
3 - Close Friendships One of the best things we can do for our emotions is have close friends Men need men, Men do better when they have close friends As men, close friends help bring balance to our emotions Without close friends men can get off track easily Men's emotions need to have open and honest friendships to grow and develop
1 They Have a Sense of Humor Too many men are so busy grinding and being productive that they don't take the time to laugh Men who can't laugh can't relax Some guys are so insecure they can't even laugh at themselves The reason comedy is part of romantic comedy is women want a man with a sense of humor Laughing is good for us because it gives us a break from life Having fun with your wife is one of the best things you can do for a healthy marriage
2 They Don't Play Parts (even if they do it often isn't for long) As men, we are all on a journey of discovery A big part of your adventure is finding out who you really are as a man Maturity in a man is when he gets a better understanding of himself This is the inner exploration that too many men don't do Our journey of discovery takes us to the real us Authentic men are the ones who can genuinely grow and change
3 They Take Risks There are no guarantees that you won't fail or get shot down when you take risks Many men miss out on a lot of their life because they don't take risks The taking of risks builds our courage as men Sometimes the overcoming of failure is what makes us better men Don't let the fear of failure keep you from fully developing as a man Risk taking is part of being a whole man
Many of the men in Rom Coms have similar patterns that I think we can learn from So here are a few things we can learn from Rom Com Men They Progress as a Character (the journey) They usually show a journey of growth for the men in Rom Coms They start to look at themselves differently based on the new woman entering their life and this gives them an outside perspective We need to be able to look at ourselves objectively and move on a journey If we aren't intentionally growing, we are declining Sometimes in the struggle is where the growth happens
They Know Their Feelings (even if they struggle with them) Men in Rom/Coms are pretty good at knowing how they feel Women want men who know their emotions We must know our emotions as men or we will be in danger of letting them get out of control and hurt us The lie that men aren't emotional is a myth Men are better men when they are connected to their emotions
Have a Good Friend (someone to talk to) Rom/Com men usually have another man who they talk with about stuff We have to prioritize friendships and seek to find people to connect with Men who encourage each other for better and not bring each other down You may need to recognize bad friendships and prune them Many men don't have close friends because they are busy and because of fear
The 4A Assessment - www.theconfidentman.me
Purpose isn't Medicating Insecurity The decisions and lifestyles that most people live has more to do with their insecurity than it does their purpose Our purpose should not be a bandaid for old wounds or buried feelings that we are insecure about Many of us as men live our lives trying to overcome our own insecurities but we call it a purpose We all have to deal with our own insecurities as men, or it will hurt our purpose We must make sure that our own insecurities are not the driving force of our purpose
Purpose Must be Owned As men, we have to own our purpose A secure man who knows and owns his own purpose can serve the best Men of purpose are men who take responsibility seriously Men who don't own a purpose live selfishly When we own our purpose, we want to help others because we have the strength to do it
Purpose Guides Decisions Strategy flows from our purpose When you have a purpose, you are setting a north star for your life and everything else gets guided by that Purpose gives us the guides for decisions When we live on purpose many of our everyday decisions are made for us Living on purpose helps us develop and become the men we were designed to be
Purpose Over Perfectionism Our desire to be perfect in whatever area can actually sabotage our purpose When we fear messing up, we don't try Many of us as men use perfectionism as a form of procrastination We want to have a purpose that is driving us because it gives us the strength to push past imperfections Purpose also gives us the ability to be open
Purpose Isn't Provision Many men are caught up in the provision mode of life Provision isn't a purpose Many men see work success and money as the scorecard of life As men, we can easily get caught up in the stuff cycle Purpose goes beyond provision
Purpose Starts With Choice Our purpose as men is not some mystical revelation We start the process by our choices People think that purpose is some event Purpose is a journey Live your purpose and discover your adventure
The greatest battles we have as men are usually within. However, we often take a shotgun approach to our inner battles and don't have a real strategy to focus our effort Winning a Battle First Wars are won by winning individual battles Pick one area and win that battle first Build momentum by having one small victory at a time You can handle more as you grow
Winning With Our Strengths If you are going to win the battle within, you have to do it with your strengths Long-term sustainable success comes in our strengths Pick a strategy of inner growth that connects with you Many men don't really take the time to know themselves so they can't pick a strategy, they just grind
Winning Through Growth and Change You'll never be perfect so don't expect perfection You learn and grow as you try new things so expect to do that Having an attitude of growth helps us understand that what worked yesterday may not work today It stretches us as men and forces us to grow
Strategy - A plan of action designed to achieve a major aim Its a plan of action for your life Strategy Starts with Ownership Ownership is the beginning of strategy and without it you can't build it Ownership is how we as men take responsibility The struggle for us as men is that without ownership we don't engage If you want to go anywhere you have to pick the direction Ownership in your life is picking your direction
Strategy Focuses Your Energy Ill: Children running vs Olympic Sprinter = no wasted energy As men we live our lives with a finite amount of energy We must focus our energy and strategy empowers us how to do that What you say yes to gives energy to what you are doing You strategy is how you focus your energy and live your priorities
Strategy Must Be Implemented Dreaming and planning can only take you so far Strategies must be implemented or they are useless Having a strategy doesn't mean things are going to go perfect Having an overall strategy helps us find and use a different plan or a better plan when needed When you implement a strategy you learn and grow
Here it is! The Number ONE listened to show of 2021. Kind of appropriate to hear it again right before the New Year! Thanks for a great 2021! David Our decision to act and change must be a mindset We must decide to be proactive before anyone gives us the reason why 3 Things You Must Understand to Change
CHANGE INVOLVES A MENTAL SHIFT Change starts in our minds Men who suddenly decide to start taking charge of their health, start in their mind If we don't change our thoughts and what we think, whatever we are trying to change won't work Being proactive means training your mind to be open to change
CHANGE IS UNCOMFORTABLE We like comfort as men The problem with comfort is it can keep us from trying new things Many men don't like the feeling of being stupid or slow, so they don't try new things
CHANGE IS HARD Being proactive means putting yourself in a place of doing hard things Change isn't easy or everyone would do it The reality is change takes work, over and over and over again Change is also hard because we have to admit we were doing it wrong, or that there is a better way
Challenge you to start living Proactive Be Proactive - Physically, Emotionally, Mentally, Spiritually
Learn more about https://www.davidthemaxwell.com/coaching (David's Coaching)
This is an encore presentation of our second most listened-to episode of 2021! Enjoy, David Life is a war As men, we are in a war and can learn many things from lessons George Patton taught Action Starts in Your MindBeing a man of action starts in your mind A man's motivation will drive his action Action starting in your mind is why purpose is so important for men You action will always follow your mind Where you allow your mind to go your actions will follow
Men are Lost Without ActionWe need action as men Action is the everyday focus of your life Patton focused on keeping his men focused on the small details of action The little daily things are the key of action
Action Means Being The ExampleAs men, we need other people looking up to us We should live as an example to someone We should work to walk and talk the same message We are an example of healthy living as men
Learn more about https://www.davidthemaxwell.com/coaching (David's Coaching )
Men are afraid to chooseNot choosing is detrimental to us as men Choice Demands ThoughtMen need the mental work of choosing because choice demands thought Choice helps to train our minds We learn and grow through our good and bad choices When we start choosing we develop deeper levels of thinking
Choice Shows AutonomyChoice sets you apart from the animals and shows that you live a life that is autonomous As men, we should have the power to govern ourselves Autonomy is being able to look ahead and project the best choice and then make it, no matter what you feel Our choices as men strengthen our autonomy and bring us inner confidence that many men lack
Choice Brings AccountabilityWhen you pick, people will know your thoughts and can hold you accountable Accountability forces us to mature and think about our consequences Knowing that our choices affect other people helps us mature and think about our decisions We will never reach our full potential as men if we run from a choice
Go be a man and make choices today
Where are you driving?In other words, where are you going with your life? Drivers Push The GasYou have to push yourself, no one can do it for you When men expect others to push them too much, they resent it Motivation is a mixture of Desire & Reality Living life has a cost You are paying anyway so why not pay to go where you want to go
Drivers Steer and DirectYou pick your direction as a man You aim and take direction for your life You take responsibility for your attitude and actions You seek to learn and get better When you have a direction and the unexpected comes up, you can reroute easier
Drivers Take Care of Their CarsAs a whole person, you have to take care of yourself holistically: Emotionally, Mentally, Physically, Spiritually If you are driving your life, you have to learn how to care for yourself Our life as men is an adventure We should pick a direction in life but we may not know where we end up You have to make sure you are at your best for the journey
3 Reasons Men Should Not Go With the Flow 1 - They Accept Passive LivingPassive living causes problems for men Many men hide behind a passive life Passive men can also develop a Lottery mentality The problem with a passive lifestyle is the lack of leadership
2 - It Discourages ConvictionsMen were created to have convictions Men were created to flow with conviction When a man doesn't have convictions he often becomes a slave to his own desires When you just go with the flow, you are giving up on your convictions
3 - They Give Up ControlGoing with the flow means no focus or direction for your life Comfort becomes their most important focus of life They often live in the victim status With no control, it's easy to move into the critical lifestyle
Take the https://www.davidthemaxwell.com/4aassessment (4 A Assessment) Find out more about https://www.davidthemaxwell.com/coaching (David's Coaching)
As men, we need thankfulnessIt has some incredible benefits for us Thankfulness Switches our mind out of Grind ModeThe danger of the grind is it becomes a 24/7 competition for us Thankfulness forces our minds to switch from grind mode This is a benefit to our minds, but can also be a benefit to our health Thankfulness helps us appreciate what we have done
Thankfulness Help Us Appreciate People in Our LivesBeing thankful helps you to see the positive in other people We should be thankful for the unique nature of each of our children Thankfulness is absolutely necessary for a marriage If you are over a team of people at work this should be a practice
Thankfulness Gives Us Perspective in Hard TimesEVERYONE GOES THROUGH HARD TIMES Thankfulness helps us develop perspective in that tough time There is a place to recognize that your hard times aren't as bad as they could be When you become thankful, it helps you gain perspective that can be encouraging during your hard times
Learn more about https://www.davidthemaxwell.com/coaching (David's Coaching)
We are living in a society where many men are playing the victim and it is hurting usWhy do men play the victim? Inward VictimWhen you act as an inward victim, you don't necessarily act it out but it comes across with your inner voices This type of thinking can become a mindset that keeps you passive as a man Sometimes others may see these types of people as not motivated or lazy, but, the truth is they are inwardly victimizing themselves Many men who live with an inward victim mentality live in a reactionary focus This feels safe to many men and they flow in it naturally, but the problem is they are abdicating their ability to lead
Inward JourneyMen can often fall victim to the victim mentality when they haven't gone on the inward journey A self-aware man goes on the inward journey and figures out his own thoughts and feelings Men who have clarity about their identity don't play the victim When a man needs affirmation, he can be led around and manipulated When a man is secure in himself, he doesn't respond to manipulation
Inward RealitiesThe majority of men who play the victim don't understand their own inward realities As men, we shouldn't expect ourselves to be good at everything or to like everything You really aren't competing with anyone else, you are competing with yourself When guys try to be someone they aren't and fail, they often fall into a victim mentality When a man recognizes his own strengths and weaknesses, he is a much wiser and more powerful man
To learn more about https://www.davidthemaxwell.com/coaching (David's Coaching )
There are some legitimate reasons why women don't get menThere are things we can do to help women understand us, and it starts with us It Starts in the MirrorYou have to know you before she can Your identity is who you are not what you do When men are driven by need they can't enjoy or choose Choice is the ultimate by-product of freedom Men who have a firm identity are free to choose
The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll & Mr. HydeMany men present this type of personality to their family Consistency is the key to overcoming Identity feeds consistency When you have an identity of who you are and your purpose you will grow and develop consistency Men who aren't consistent don't have a solid identity
Communication PracticingPractice is something we get as men Men need to get better at communicating what is happening in their heads and hearts Intimacy is based on deeper relationships Communication grows depth You are a leader of your own emotions and thoughts
To learn more about https://www.davidthemaxwell.com/coaching (David's Coaching )
Our enemy isn't a character it is our own thoughtsThe Overthinking MindOverthinking is one of those things that we can do without even realizing we are doing it as men The problem is sometimes we spend so much time thinking through the scenarios, that we don't do anything Overthinking often accompanies inaction Overthinking can paralyze us as men
The Shame Filled MindShame is a reality for many men Regret and shame fill our world and we can't get past it We end up trying to live down our shame and "pay" in our own way Or we just quit and buy into the "I am what I am" thinking process
The Quitting MindQuitting is dangerous because it does something to us on the inside There is a difference between quitting and actually choosing to stop Quitting is different from failing; Quitting is dangerous because it is habit-forming
Find out more at http://www.theconfidentman.me (www.theconfidentman.me)Learn more about https://www.davidthemaxwell.com/coaching (David's Coaching)
Find out about the https://www.davidthemaxwell.com/4aassessment (4A Assessment) 1 - BUILD HEALTHY ROUTINESWe need healthy routines because it makes us better as menPhysical routines Mental routines Emotional routines Spiritual routines
If you don't plan, you won't do it Routines help us keep our priorities a priority
CHANGE YOUR ROUTINESYou should have routines, but those routines need to be switched up sometimes Don't get stuck and let the routine just be something you do Changing routines forces different muscles to workThis is true for every area Physically, Emotionally, Mentally, Spiritually
We often don't like to change our routine because change is hard We need the variety of change to keep us sharp
VARIETY STRETCHES YOUR VISIONWe all have a Vision of ourselves and what we can doThat vision often keeps us in the comfort zone
We all need to be pushed and stretched beyond the vision we have for ourselvesThat is why coaching is so important
Men are guilty of joining something and then not wanting to really change The great thing is as we move and grow we believe that we can do more As you bring variety and get help, your vision will grow and so will you
Learn more about David's https://www.davidthemaxwell.com/coaching (COACHING)
Discouragement is often set up by unmet expectations
1 - LEFTFIELD EXPECTATIONSAs men, we should have expectations and we should work toward goals However, sometimes we get way ahead of ourselves and we set ourselves up for discouragement
2 - OTHER PEOPLE'S EXPECTATIONSA lot of men live their lives for other people. They are weighed down by expectations that are put on them, so they don't really have their own
3 - PERFECTION EXPECTATIONSI have to be "perfect" is a lie that is taking away the ability of many men to really make a difference in the world It also causes them to not be able to have intimate relationships
To learn more about David's coaching go to https://www.davidthemaxwell.com/coaching (https://www.davidthemaxwell.com/coaching) The Free 4A Assessment: https://www.davidthemaxwell.com/4aassessment (https://www.davidthemaxwell.com/4aassessment )
Books Recommended Burn by Henry Pontzer https://smile.amazon.com/Burn-Research-Really-Calories-Healthy/dp/B08FL6Y69D/ref=pd_ybh_a_15?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=8BAG1G9ZFPYY1TEVRMDP
Exercise by Daniel E. Lieberman https://smile.amazon.com/Exercised-Something-Evolved-Healthy-Rewarding/dp/B087NFK9HC/ref=pd_ybh_a_16?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=RM2DXM1PV6QF2QFA9J5S
Becoming a Supple Leopard by Dr. Kelly Starrett https://smile.amazon.com/Becoming-Supple-Leopard-2nd-Performance/dp/1628600837/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1VKYG5JU2E9SS&dchild=1&keywords=becoming+a+supple+leopard&qid=1633108285&s=audible&sprefix=becoming+a+supple%2Caudible%2C182&sr=1-1-catcorr
Power Speed Endurance by Brian Mackenzie https://smile.amazon.com/Power-Speed-ENDURANCE-Skill-Based-Endurance/dp/1936608618/ref=sr_1_2?crid=K9BUFIHMYCRX&dchild=1&keywords=power+speed+endurance+a+skill-based+approach+to+endurance+training&qid=1633108385&sprefix=power+speed+en%2Caudible%2C186&sr=8-2
Find out more about Movara at https://movara.com/ Follow Jared @movara.trainer.jared Email Jared: Jared@movara.com
Take out 4A Assessment and find out where you are at as a man in the 4A's: Achievements, Appetites, Attitudes, Action! https://www.davidthemaxwell.com/4aassessment
Follow me @davidthemaxwell
Coaching information https://www.davidthemaxwell.com/coaching
I can come to speak for you too! https://www.davidthemaxwell.com/speaking
Find out more about Movara at https://movara.com/ Follow Jared @movara.trainer.jared Email Jared: Jared@movara.com
Take out 4A Assessment and find out where you are at as a man in the 4A's: Achievements, Appetites, Attitudes, Action! https://www.davidthemaxwell.com/4aassessment
Follow me @davidthemaxwell
Coaching information https://www.davidthemaxwell.com/coaching
I can come to speak for you too! https://www.davidthemaxwell.com/speaking
Perseverance is sticking to something when it is hard and when you have made mistakesMen should be the embodiment of perseverance3 Realities of Perseverance PERSEVERANCE BEGINS WITH PURPOSEWhen we have a purpose as men, we can push through the tough times When you have a real purpose, it changes your outlook and gives you the strength to go through the hard times When you have a purpose that is bigger than you, the hard times are still tough but your outlook is past them
PERSEVERANCE EXPECTS PUSHBACKPerseverance helps us to have a healthy attitude toward life Perseverance gives us the ability to take responsibility and not just walk in blame Perseverance helps us to focus on getting through and not trying to over-focus on the WHY behind the issue
PERSEVERANCE NEEDS PEOPLEOne of the biggest realities of perseverance is you can't do it alone We can get in our own heads and people can speak life into you or shake you out of a stupor Men are lacking perseverance today because many men are missing strong friendships
This week think through your purpose and see if you are really focusing on living on purpose or are you just surviving.
To learn more about David's coaching go to https://www.davidthemaxwell.com/copy-of-coaching (https://www.davidthemaxwell.com/copy-of-coaching)
As men, we have to want to see the realityWe have to be careful as men that we don't get into our own head with out thinkingWe have to proactively seek what is true, not what we want to be trueWe do this by focusing on 3 things TAKE AWAY JUDGEMENTBefore you seek to look at things objectively, you have to suspend judgement This is especially true when we are looking at our own life and wanting to look at areas to be changed Reality must come without the cost of judgement
GET THE REAL DATAWhen you want to look at areas of your life, you have to look at the real data What is the reality in the situation? This does work for things like health and finances, but it can also work in relationships
SEE THE WHOLE PICTUREWhen we are going through a struggle or a busy season, it is easy to get our minds so focused on them that we miss the big picture. Big picture thinking is placing your life and issues in the grand scheme of life Our Perseverance is strengthened when we remember the the whole picture and find the most important parts of them
This week, I want you to start looking at the reality of things without beating yourself up Don't seek blame seek truth
To learn more about David's coaching go to https://www.davidthemaxwell.com/copy-of-coaching (https://www.davidthemaxwell.com/copy-of-coaching)
Our decision to act and change must be a mindsetWe must decide to be proactive before anyone gives us the reason why3 Things You must Understand to Change CHANGE INVOLVES A MENTAL SHIFTChange starts in our minds Men who suddenly decide to start taking charge of their health, start in their mind If we don't change our thoughts and what we think, whatever we are trying to change won't work Being proactive means training your mind to be open to change
CHANGE IS UNCOMFORTABLEWe like comfort as men The problem with comfort is it can keep us from trying new things Many men don't like the feeling of being stupid or slow, so they don't try new things
CHANGE IS HARDBeing proactive means putting yourself in a place of doing hard things Change isn't easy or everyone would do it The reality is change takes work, over and over and over again Change is also hard because we have to admit we were doing it wrong, or that there is a better way
Challenge you to start living Proactive Be Proactive - Physically, Emotionally, Mentally, Spiritually
To learn more about David's coaching go to https://www.davidthemaxwell.com/copy-of-coaching (https://www.davidthemaxwell.com/copy-of-coaching)
Bhavesh Patel is a medical doctor who specializes in personalized optimal wellness. He is board-certified in Age Management Medicine and Family Medicine and is the founder of Cenegenics Chicago. He has over 20 years of patient care experience, but for the last 11 years has specialized in helping thousands of patients recapture their vitality and health, often getting them off of their medications along the way. He is currently the courtyard BBQ champion amongst his neighbors in Chicago, specializing in brisket and bourbon. To learn more information about Bhavesh go to https://bhaveshmd.com/ (www.bhaveshmd.com)To get more information on The Confident Man Journey go to https://www.davidthemaxwell.com/confidentman (www.theconfidentman.com)To learn more about David's coaching go to https://www.davidthemaxwell.com/ (www.davidthemaxwell.com)
Bhavesh Patel is a medical doctor who specializes in personalized optimal wellness. He is board-certified in Age Management Medicine and Family Medicine and is the founder of Cenegenics Chicago. He has over 20 years of patient care experience, but for the last 11 years has specialized in helping thousands of patients recapture their vitality and health, often getting them off of their medications along the way. He is currently the courtyard BBQ champion amongst his neighbors in Chicago, specializing in brisket and bourbon. To learn more information about Bhavesh go to https://bhaveshmd.com/ (www.bhaveshmd.com)To get more information on The Confident Man Journey go to https://www.davidthemaxwell.com/confidentman (www.theconfidentman.com)To learn more about David's coaching go to https://www.davidthemaxwell.com/ (www.davidthemaxwell.com)
As men, we want to be men of action, but we have to remember that action isn't just what we do, it is why we do it It is important for men to understand the why behind their action If they don't, they will often be controlled by hidden things in their minds that they don't understand
The Inside WarWho you are will eventually rise up Character and integrity must be kept in shape You must constantly be looking at your inside motivations
Being a Forever StudentAction grows and improves with learning Learning is a habit Humility is being a student Learning also gives you an outside perspective
The Practice MentalityThe loop of practice is what separates the players and the champions Practice - Feedback - Performance Loop Practice is planned improvement The practice mentality craves feedback Performance is a form of accountability How you practice is how you become a great man
For a full blog of this episode go to http://www.davidthemaxwell.com/blog (www.davidthemaxwell.com/blog)To learn more about David's coaching go to https://www.davidthemaxwell.com/copy-of-coaching (https://www.davidthemaxwell.com/copy-of-coaching)
We are designed to be men of action Here are a few truths about movement we need to understand if we want to be men of action
Movement not PerfectionAs men, we need to embrace movement in our life Too many men struggle with waiting till everything is perfect Perfection can paralyze us as men We need to Purposely get uncomfortable Working and pushing yourself to learn new things helps you grow and improve as a man Improvement builds momentum Perfection breeds discouragement
Movement with PurposeBusyness isn't movement Busyness is a drug Don't waste your energy but focus it One of the best ways to focus your energy is with purpose Purpose brings meaning to movement The men who make the most difference in the world are the ones who bring purpose to their movement
Movement in StagesOne of the keys of movement for men is understanding the season of life they are in As men, you want to understand the movement needed for your stage Each stage has different roles and movements Men who are always looking forward or backward aren’t living their life in the moment
For a full blog of this episode go to http://www.davidthemaxwell.com/blog (www.davidthemaxwell.com/blog)To learn more about David's coaching go to https://www.davidthemaxwell.com/copy-of-coaching (https://www.davidthemaxwell.com/copy-of-coaching)
Action starts in our mindEvery man has mental battlesHere are 3 areas of Mental War that many men struggle with: Insecurity BattlesMen are too often driven by insecurity instead of purpose Insecurities also keep us from moving in new directions Living out of your insecurities will drive you without rest or end
Weakness BattlesEvery man has weaknesses and struggles When you know history, specifically your history, it helps you overcome weakness We have to take the time to contemplate
Authenticity BattlesAs men often our who is based on what we do or what we have achieved The authentic us is the person we are left with when all the stuff and achievements are gone You can only war effectively when you are honest and real with yourself
For a full blog of this episode go to http://www.davidthemaxwell.com/blog (www.davidthemaxwell.com/blog)To learn more about David's coaching go to https://www.davidthemaxwell.com/copy-of-coaching (https://www.davidthemaxwell.com/copy-of-coaching)
Life is a warAs men, we are in a war and can learn many things from lessons George Patton taught
Action Starts in Your MindBeing a man of action starts in your mindA man's motivation will drive his action
Action starting in your mind is why purpose is so important for menYour action will always follow your mind
Where you allow your mind to go your actions will follow
Men are Lost Without ActionWe need action as menAction is the everyday focus of your life
Patton focused on keeping his men focused on the small details of action The little daily things are the key to action
Action Means Being The ExampleAs men, we need other people looking up to us We should live as an example to someone We should work to walk and talk the same message We are an example of healthy living as men
For a full blog of this episode go to http://www.davidthemaxwell.com/blog (www.davidthemaxwell.com/blog)To learn more about David's coaching go to https://www.davidthemaxwell.com/copy-of-coaching (https://www.davidthemaxwell.com/copy-of-coaching)
Own Your Calendar = Own Your LifeThe number one way of living out your purpose and priorities is through your calendar
Take Ownership of Your CalendarTaking ownership of our calendar is a decision we must all make as men The reality of doing this is it doesn't come easy or quick Don't try to fix everything at once Start with one area of focus a week
Proactively Plan Your PrioritiesBig rocks-Taking the big things and putting them on your calendar first Your purpose and priorities are your big rocks When you don't plan you are driving with no map and no sense of direction Owning your calendar and putting your priorities down first helps keep you focused amidst the busyness and crazyness of life
Have a Regular Routine Review One of the keys of owning your calendar is to review it regularly There are different ways to do it, buy the most effective one is a systematic one that is:Daily Planning. Weekly Planning, Quarterly Planning
Don't expect perfection
For a full blog of this episode go to http://www.davidthemaxwell.com/blog (www.davidthemaxwell.com/blog)To learn more about David's coaching go to https://www.davidthemaxwell.com/copy-of-coaching (https://www.davidthemaxwell.com/copy-of-coaching)
The Power of NoPriorities aren't what you say yes to, but what you say no toWhen you set a purpose in your life and build priorities you are focusing your YESQuote "“The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything.” Warren Buffet The Motivation of NoNo must be used when you are living on purpose From your purpose, you build priorities Saying no is hard The good no
The Freedom of NoThere is a glorious freedom in saying no You don't overload yourself when you use no You can spend your energy freely on what you say yes to No frees you to do what you are best at
The Responsibility of NoYou have a responsibility to say no because you are responsible for your yes Your gifts are your way of making a difference in the world You want to use the power of your purpose wisely You want to focus your power
For a full blog of this episode go to http://www.davidthemaxwell.com/blog (www.davidthemaxwell.com/blog)To learn more about David's coaching go to https://www.davidthemaxwell.com/copy-of-coaching (https://www.davidthemaxwell.com/copy-of-coaching)
When men don't have a clear focused purpose, they won't prioritize their lives.Purpose Gives ClarityPurpose Sets PrioritiesPurpose Provides PowerThe power of prioritizing and managing your life comes from your purpose For a full blog of this episode go to http://www.davidthemaxwell.com/blog (www.davidthemaxwell.com/blog)To learn more about David's coaching go to https://www.davidthemaxwell.com/copy-of-coaching (https://www.davidthemaxwell.com/copy-of-coaching)
Joe is a self-made entrepreneur. He has founded six companies and sold three of them resulting in multiple seven-figure profits. As a successful entrepreneur, speaker, and quality of life coach, Joe inspires and challenges people to connect with who they truly are so that they can have meaningful relationships and live a healthier and higher-quality lifestyle. Joe’s approach simplifies the process of achieving a harmonic life by focusing on the things that truly matter. He teaches his clients to practice gratitude and appreciation to better all areas of their life from fitness to family to finances. His methods help his clients become the best version of themselves and allow them to play more, live more, and make more.Here is a link to his upcoming 7-day challenge for entrepreneurs:https://mailtrack.io/trace/link/129c6527c548071183b1690276ceff9b04ed5816?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.moretimetospend.com%2Fchallenge1618262094973&userId=6681521&signature=43e434de53f075a4 (https://www.moretimetospend.com/challenge1618262094973) Joe's Website: https://www.therealjoelau.com/ (The Real Joe Lau)
Brain Box PositivesMen have boxes to help us deal with stress. When we are in a stressful situation, we have the ability to focus on one thing at a time. We can use this to our advantage. When we are trying to live a specific way or change our current habits, it takes focus.
Brain Box NegativesThe danger of our brain boxes is we can tend to put things in them that we do not want to think about and never deal with them. The problem with boxes piling up is that they block us from getting to the important boxes of our life. We must learn to deal with their mental clutter or we will never be able to live a principled life.
Brain Box ClutterThe hardest thing for men to do is to deal with their brain box clutter. Some men live their whole lives surrounded by boxes of mental clutter and never even know it because they do not know how to see their life that way. The first step for many men is recognition. They must begin to see that there are too many boxes piling up in their mind and they are getting in the way of their life. The pain of rejection or lack of love in our lives can easily leave piles of boxes in our brain. We must begin the process of opening up the brain boxes, especially the uncomfortable ones and dealing with them or they will clutter up our minds and keep us from the life we were designed to live.\
You have to start decluttering your brain boxStarts by being willing to get inside your own mind and do the workGetting someone to go along with youGet coaching = counseling - mental and emotional coaching
The Mind DrugPleasure is fast becoming the purpose of life for too many men Pleasure can be a drug for our mind We have to understand the purpose of pleasure and the danger of it
Pleasure is not a PurposeWhen a man lives for pleasure, he is not really living with purpose The pleasure makes you feel good but it doesn’t bring a long term satisfaction We were designed to lead ourselves and to lead others Pleasure is not a purpose, it is just a feeling
Pleasure Comes from PurposePleasure cannot be a purpose Pleasure is a by-product of a purpose The satisfaction that is lasting comes from purpose and not pleasure When a man lives on purpose, he can enjoy the pleasure Pleasure comes from the freedom of living for a greater purpose than selfishness Your adventure as a man starts in your mind You have to understand your purpose You have to live your purpose out
For a full blog of this episode go to http://www.davidthemaxwell.com/blog (www.davidthemaxwell.com/blog)To learn more about David's coaching go to https://www.davidthemaxwell.com/copy-of-coaching (https://www.davidthemaxwell.com/copy-of-coaching)
The Mind MapAs a man what guides you and the decisions you make in your lifeYour mind needs a map4 Elements of a Mind Map: Purpose, Direction, Action, Habits Purpose Decides DirectionEverything in our life flows from our purpose Men always live better lives when they have a noble purpose When a man finds his purpose, he gains clarity on where he wants to go
Direction Decides ActionOnce you gain a sense of direction, you need to take action Many men are stuck in the mode of talking about action but not doing anything When you have direction you want to take action Direction gives you the motivation for ACTION We don't wan to just have movement with no direction or purpose
Action Decides HabitsHabits are the manifestation of action Action without habits is wasted energy You want to focus your action and habits are how you do that Habits don't change you, habits obey you People who have trouble with establishing good habits have trouble with their purpose Understand that habits take time to build
For a full blog of this episode go to http://www.davidthemaxwell.com/blog (www.davidthemaxwell.com/blog)To learn more about David's coaching go to https://www.davidthemaxwell.com/copy-of-coaching (https://www.davidthemaxwell.com/copy-of-coaching)
We have a hard time with compliments or seeing the good in what we do because of what we have going on in our minds The mental noise that is always with us Every man struggles with the voices in his head We all have the battle of negative vs positive self talk What we want to do as men is focus our minds on a few key areas so we control the mental noise 3 things you can do to control the mental noise
Decide Who Gets the Microphone Decide What to Do With Old Recordings Start Playing a New Soundtrack
Decide Who Gets the MicrophoneWho controls the microphone in your head? You do. As men we have to step up and decide what microphone we are listening to Who gets the power to speak into our life? If you don't decide you will go from voice to voice and never really figure who YOU are You need to build a foundation in your head and that starts with you deciding who you are and who you want to be Negative talk will affect you Negative influences will affect you You must take that authority as a man and work on controlling what thoughts go on in your mind
Decide What to Do With Old RecordingsThere are many other things that can live in your head You can have old recordings of things people said to your or did to you Abuse - physically, verbally, and so on Seeking acceptance from the "cool" kids Seeking affirmation from an absent father Seeking purpose in pleasure These old recordings have to be erased and replaced with a real purpose
Start Playing a New SoundtrackAs a man, you have to decide what will play in your head You have to purposeful about what plays in your head Understand that it takes time and things won't change overnight You control the soundtrack in your head You can decide the thoughts that rule in your head
For a full blog of this episode go to http://www.davidthemaxwell.com/blog (www.davidthemaxwell.com/blog)To learn more about David's coaching go to https://www.davidthemaxwell.com/copy-of-coaching (https://www.davidthemaxwell.com/copy-of-coaching)
You can find out more about Scott at https://www.2.livesimplyabundant.com/Prosperity (Live Simply Abundant)
For a full transcript of this episode go to http://www.davidthemaxwell.com/blog (www.davidthemaxwell.com/blog)To learn more about David's coaching go to https://www.davidthemaxwell.com/copy-of-coaching (https://www.davidthemaxwell.com/copy-of-coaching)
The most powerful dad is not a dad who can break things or hurt people. The super power that every dad can have that will make the most difference in his kids lives is the ability to listen. True listening is a full contact sport. However there are some truths you have to understand:The 2-1 ratio Listening is active Questions are key
The 2-1 RatioYou must listen twice as much as you talk One of the biggest keys to any relationship is listening A man who listens learns how to control himself and to focus his responses A man who listens to his kids earns their love and their ability to hear him When you listen to your kids as a dad, you are showing respect and love
Listening is ActiveListening doesn't just mean acknowledging they have spoken Listening is not only hearing but also responding This is so important for parents to do with their kids because it helps them learn how to critically think You can condescend and make them feel stupid or you can be sincere and teach them to think critically Your listening must be active or it won't have any meaning
Questions are KeyIf you want to be a better listener, you must get better at questions Questions are also a way of communication Develop a curious mindset and apply it to your Kids You must be a student of each child to have good questions because each one is different One of the best ways to improve your relationship with your kids is to ask better questions
If you want to be a powerful dad, learn to listen. Doing this will expand your relationship with your kids in exponential ways. To learn more about The Confident Dad Masterclass: https://event.webinarjam.com/register/1/1vggyfp (www.theconfidentdad.me)For a full blog of this episode go to http://www.davidthemaxwell.com/blog (www.davidthemaxwell.com/blog)To learn more about David's coaching go to https://www.davidthemaxwell.com/copy-of-coaching (https://www.davidthemaxwell.com/copy-of-coaching)
A dad is a man who has taken on the responsibility of serving his family and leaving a positive legacy in his children. Any man can be a father, but not all fathers are dads. A man has to want to be a dad! Dads are men who not only focus inwardly to grow as men, they focus outwardly to grow their family. They seek to live on purpose, to serve others first, and to prioritize their relationships. An Outward Dad Lives on Purpose They seek to live a life of purpose and have a purpose for their family Real dads live with a purpose for their familyLiving with purpose is hard today because of the pressure to stay busy
Living on purpose means a man has prioritiesA dad lives with the priority of his family front and center That doesn't mean he ignores his other responsibilities You also can't use your family as an excuse to not work hard
A dad who lives on purpose can prioritize his life so neither his family or his responsibilities are neglected
An Outward Dad Serves Others FirstThe ultimate show of love is a willingness to serve and sacrifice your life It takes a strong man to do all he has to do and serve his familyDads are strong men who focus on serving their family They prioritize their life so they can serve their family
They take care of themselves so they have more to give their familyThey live principled lives to be an example to their children
They take a long-term view of parenting which is hard in the short term Serving is the ultimate strengthA secure man can serve his family An insecure man must have all the attention and focus
If you want to be a dad, you have to be one outwardly which means you put time and energy in serving your family
An Outward Dad Prioritizes His RelationshipsIf you want to be an outward dad who really makes a difference and leaves a positive legacy, you must prioritize your relationships You can't be a dad without having strong relationshipsDads are men who build relationships with their kids
The first relationship you must prioritize is with your wife As a dad, the relationship with your wife is the foundation of the family Benefits of a strong relationship with your wifeSecurity for your kids When a man loves his wife, his sons see how to love a woman & his daughters see how a man should love them It gives them a realistic view of marriage and life
You have to work to love your wife continually, grow your relationship with her Divorced dads, and what they can do to prioritize their relationshipsHonor your ex-wife and don't get into petty feuds in front of the kids She is their mother and may have done you wrong, but it isn't your kids faultDon't try to get the kids to take sides
Show respect and honor her, even if she isn't acting honorably
Life is often like a battle and if you don't engage in it, you will lose. As men we must engage in life by being an outward dad. Now go be the Dad you were designed to be To grow as a dad, join me for the free webinar The Confident Dad, go to http://www.theconfidentdad.me (www.theconfidentdad.me)For a full blog of this episode go to http://www.davidthemaxwell.com/blog (www.davidthemaxwell.com/blog)To learn more about David's coaching go to https://www.davidthemaxwell.com/copy-of-coaching (https://www.davidthemaxwell.com/copy-of-coaching)
There is a difference between being a father and being a dad Being a dad starts on the inside A dad develops by being an inward dad to himself first
An Inward Dad Challenges HimselfChallenging ourselves as men is something we love to talk about and watch in movies, but it is hard to do in the everyday A man must challenge himself within The status quo feels safe and that is why so many men move toward it A dad is a man who hasn't stopped challenging himself As a man leads himself, he will lead his family Your battle to grow as a man directly impacts the kind of husband and father you will be
An Inward Dad Secures HimselfMany men are living with a self-imposed green screen in their lifeThey are projecting what they 'think' of themselves or what they "wish" about themselves
Ever man should know their real selves without their masks This takes self-examination (the inward journey) that few men take the time to do A man who is secure in himself is a better parent because he doesn't allow his kids to define him Some men are "mask dads" they put on a mask of the dad when other people are around This is "parenting for others" Keep growing and being secure in who you are as a man, you'll be a better dad for it
An Inward Dad Balances HimselfBalancing yourself is understanding an important part of life: "Life is full of seasons and rhythms" As a man, You must seek to balance yourself in the midst of the seasons you are inDon't allow the busy season or the restful season to define you You want to be centered in your own identity as a man so you can handle the different seasons of life
Self-Care is the energy that fuels your ability to truly care and serve others A balanced dad understands his need to stay strong in the seasons of life
To learn more about The Confident Dad Masterclass: https://event.webinarjam.com/register/1/1vggyfp (www.theconfidentdad.me)For a full blog of this episode go to http://www.davidthemaxwell.com/blog (www.davidthemaxwell.com/blog)To learn more about David's coaching go to https://www.davidthemaxwell.com/copy-of-coaching (https://www.davidthemaxwell.com/copy-of-coaching)
Positive Influences for DadsBuild a relationship with your kids Get into their world Be curious about them and let them teach you stuff Laugh with them Be a student of your child
Negative Influences for Dads Being in provider mode instead of involved mode Not listening to them and showing you care Dreaming for them instead of letting them dream Getting too focused on appearances
Husband/Wife RelationshipsThe relationship affects the kids If there is tension between you as a couple, the kids will see it Be open with them about what is going on without giving them all the details Make sure your parenting styles are on the same page
Divorced Dad TipsSpending time with them and listening to them are the #1 thing for connection Don't try to cram all your dad advice, etc... into a short visit Don't tear their mother down in front of them They don't want stuff from you, they want you
Step-Dad TipsWork to get to know the children in a genuine relationship Don't come in and try to be the "parent" without a relationship
Dad of Young Children TipsDon't have a negative expectation of the teen years Understand that as they grow, you are helping them to be more independent
Dad of Teens TipsIt's never too late to build a relationship They want a better relationship with you Focus on them and make it about them Take it slow and don't try to rush a relationship Build trust with small steps and listening
The Confident Dad Webinar - http://www.theconfidentdad.me (www.theconfidentdad.me)Dr Cam: http://www.askdrcam.com (www.askdrcam.com)For a full blog of this episode go to http://www.davidthemaxwell.com/blog (www.davidthemaxwell.com/blog)To learn more about David's coaching go to https://www.davidthemaxwell.com/copy-of-coaching (https://www.davidthemaxwell.com/copy-of-coaching)
Men were created for Community and they like to do stuff together. To form a band of brothers, you can start focusing on doing some specific things: Finding Allies, & Create a Free Fire ZoneFind AlliesFind Men you connect with Trade help with other men to build connections
Create a Free Fire ZoneBuild a culture of fun and life with your friends Then build trust and openness by being authentic first
For a full blog of this episode go to http://www.davidthemaxwell.com/blog (www.davidthemaxwell.com/blog)Stephen Mansfield's book and other information are at http://www.greatman.tv (www.greatman.tv)
Today we are talking about every man having a small group of friends who they do life with A band of brothers are people who are with you in your everyday life. How a man goes about forming a band of brothers. You start by doing 2 things:Get a Heart for a Band Build Connections
For a full blog of this episode go to http://www.davidthemaxwell.com/blog (www.davidthemaxwell.com/blog)Stephen Mansfield's book and other information are at http://www.greatman.tv (www.greatman.tv)
Lonely - "Being without company, cut off from others" According to a recent https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/all-the-lonely-people-are-men-a-fifth-have-no-friends-6rzvhl736?region=global (YouGov poll) in the UK, almost one in five men (18 per cent) owned up to not having a single close friend. Furthermore, one in three (32 per cent) stated that they didn’t have a best friend. However, the survey also suggests that while men appear to be lonelier than women, in reality they’re less likely to own up to feeling lonely. In https://www.theguardian.com/society/2019/sep/03/suicides-rates-in-uk-increase-to-highest-level-since-2002 (2018 the UK suicide rate rose to its highest level since 2002) – over 6,500 people took their own life (11.2 per 100,000 people) – a figure up 12 per cent on the previous year. And of those registered suicides, a staggering 75 per cent were men. Likewise, in the US, suicide as a whole is the highest it has been in decades and as of 2017, https://time.com/5609124/us-suicide-rate-increase/ (the male suicide rate was over three times that of the female rate).
3 Ways to Beat Loneliness Evaluate Your FriendsWhy do you have friends and who are your friends? One of the most common friends we have as men is rust friends instead of real friends The thing we want to do as men is take the time to evaluate our friendships
Prioritize Your ConnectionsMen are created for community You need men to be connected with Prioritizing your connections with other men is something you should schedule
Recognize Your ApathyBusyness can be a sign of misaligned priorities Apathy in one relationship breeds to other relationships Relationships that matter take work Too many men use their family to justify their lack of friends and feel ok about it
Lonely men are dangerous men, but you can do something about your loneliness
A Full Transcript of the episode can be found at https://www.davidthemaxwell.com/blog (www.davidthemaxwell.com/blog).
See more of Stephen's Material at https://greatman.tv/
Championships take a team, no one wins one by themselves Too many men today are trying to battle on their ownThey are fighting all by themselves and that is a waste of their time and energy
So today we are going to talk about 2 championship things you can develop to build a team around you
Develop a Team MindsetA team mindset begins when we as men honestly evaluate ourselves and how we live Being open to team and allowing a team mindset to develop in you begins when you understand the reality of your own strengths and weaknesses Relational aggressiveness is part of developing a team
Develop a Strong IntimacyIntimacy is not always easy for men, but is absolutely necessary to form a team There is a time after the field of battle where a man must remove his armor You can't leave your armor on all the time or it will wear you out, or hurt you You must develop strong intimacy as a man
The paint is where basketball really happens. Life is meant to be lived up close and personal. Getting up close and personal in our relationships Life is relationships 3 Keys for Strong RelationshipsStrong Relationships Require ClosenessIntimacy comes when you are honestly authentic with someone else
Strong Relationships Require VulnerabilityVulnerability is the most courageous thing a man can do
Strong Relationships Require BattleYou have to fight for your relationships
As men, we are the point guards. We should be the ones who are willing to take the leadership roles in our own lives, in our families, and at work. Every man is a point guard and he should do three things: 1. Bring the ball down, 2. Give Direction, 3. Make Assists Bring the ball downJust like a point guard brings the ball down the majority of the time a man should be the one to do that for his family. He does this by assuming responsibility for himself and for them. He focuses on serving and seeking the higher good for himself and his family. To truly lead your family you must lead yourself first. A man who is consumed with other things won't be much use to his family. A man who leads himself is a man who does what needs to be done and doesn't always do what he may feel.
Give directionPoint guards set up the play and give direction to the team. Men are called to give direction to their family. This means they have a vision and guide the family with that vision. Don't be afraid of being perfect, just start moving in a direction. Men must keep growing or they will tend to get lethargic and lazy. Too many men stop trying to grow for different reasons and develop a "what's the use" attitude and it hurts everyone. Men must have personal direction in their life in order to give direction to their family.
Make AssistsThe best point guards in basketball, make the other members of the team look good. One of the main roles of a man in the family is to encourage the gifts and abilities of others in the family. Men should make it a priority to see their wife and their kids us their individual gifts to the best of their abilities Men should always seek to be students of their wife and their children. They should seek to connect and grow in a relationship with their family so they can help them succeed. A man's ability to be a point guard to his family comes directly from his ability to relationally connect with his family.
The power of mentoring and coaching is the ability to impact another life, but it also benefits us as men. Every man should seek to be coached and should be a coach to another man.
Coaching Others Keeps Us FocusedWhen you are leading it helps you to focus on what’s important. The responsibility of coaching brings crispness to our vision.
Coaching Others Keeps Us HonestEveryone is capable of hypocrisy. When other people are watching you, it makes you think about your actions a little more.
Coaching Others Keeps Us Relevant Influence is not held by position as much as it is by relationship. Relationships hold the key of relevancy.
Your growth as a man is waiting on the other side of a coachYou potential can only be released when you have an outside force pushing youCoaches can only coach those who are wanting to learnEvery man needs a coach, but they have to have the right attitudes to get the most out of itCoachableCoachable has everything to do with your own openness to receive feedback When you challenge yourself in new ares and have a growth mindset, you seek coaching
Willing to InvestHowever if you want focused growth, you will need to invest in coaching Investing shows your seriousness and helps you get focused
Willing to GrindCoaching is useless unless you are willing to grind The key to grinding is to keep your goal before you
Strong Men Serve Their WivesServing someone else is not a sign of weakness and yet we often see that communicated to us in societyBeing willing to serve someone else because you want too is a great sign of strengthEven if you aren't married yet, you need to understand how to serve others because it affects every area of your lifeServe with Your SecurityStrength comes from Security Service flows from Security
Serve with Your EncouragementEncouragement flows from knowing someone closely If you want to serve your wife than you must make learning her a priority
As men we need to recognize our emotions and use themAs men, we must understand our emotions if we we want to have the best relationshipsSo just like you want to be strong physically, you must be strong emotionallyBreak the MythMen feel deeply Expressing emotions doesn't have to be there to feel deeply Your emotions are how you connect relationally with women Your emotions are how you also connect with your kids Your emotions will also affect how you lead at work
Get in ShapeYou have to learn how to recognize your feelings After you recognize your feelings, you have to learn to process them Recognition and processing gives you the ability to tap into your emotions and passions
Men and women bring incredible strengths to their relationshipsHowever understanding each other can be a problemSome mindset changes in us as men can help us grain understandingGet the Right MindsetYou don't have to understand all women.
Recognize Their IndividualityEvery woman wants to be seen for who they actually are and not who you want them to be or who society says they should be.
Become a Student of ThemSeek to explore and get to know the woman of your relationship with energy and passion.
The Great Sex Secrets for men starts with understanding all the key ingredients Sex is not a performance sportGuys often treat sex as a competition and they want to be the "best" This is a selfish focus
Sex is easy, but relationships take workSex is a simple process, but relationships are complicated Relationships should move into deeper levels of intimacy and trust
Great sex is an outflow of a committed relationshipMarriage doesn't restrict freedom in fact it gives freedom to a couple The safety of marriage provides the security and intimacy for better sex
Married men should continue to date and win their wives throughout the marriage. Single men should work on being a man of quality to attract a woman of quality The 3 keys of attraction have everything to do with your mindset
Being YourselfDon't play a part Grow in Self-Realization
Being SecureSecurity is not pride Security lifts others up
Being StrongReal strength is inner character Men of character have strong beliefs and passions
A Man & His PassionsOur Passions should be celebrated and not discountedPassion DiscoveryDiscover your passions Give your passions a positive outlet
Passion DirectionEvery man has the responsibility to focus his passion We focus our passion through self-control
Highlights of other people's lives never shows us the grind they went throughWe have to approach the grind the right wayThe Grind MindsetWork is required for anything we want and anything we really appreciate Feelings of insecurity and fear often accompany the grind
The Grind RealitiesOver grinding will hurt you Understand the season you are in with your life Rest and recreation must be intentional
Every man has an adventure to live, but he has to make the choice to live it There are 2 choices every man has to make regularly 1 - Live in a rut 2 - Live the adventure
Real change only comes by changing what we doTo do that effectively we must do 3 thingsMirror Time - Self Reflection Focus Time - Pick specific areas to change Route Time - Plan how you will change
The 3 gifts every man should give himself:The Gift of Health The Gift of Growth The Gift of Positive
The lack of engagement of men today is hurting them and our societyThere is a passive attitude that is overtaking too many men.3 Reasons why men must engage:Engagement Overcomes Feelings Engagement Encourages Progress Engagement Brings Feedback
Your year's success or failure is not dependent on outside events Your reaction is based on your focus and your own growth
2 Keys to Your Next Year 1. Resolutions Don't Work 2. Strategies Work
We dull our ax by 1) Neglect 2) Lack of Use Questions for you:What are some things you need to do to sharpen yourself? What things do you need to focus on? What things do you need to stop doing? What kind of help can you get?
Appreciation is a positive attitude to spread The key for us as men is to understand 2 areas of focus to help us be thankful: Things Validation
We need to own our age. Here are some tips to help you do it: 1. AttitudeAttitude flows out of the choices that we have made throughout our lives not our birth age.
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RegretsThe lifestyle of regret can build into the inability to enjoy the moment.
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BitternessThe reality of life is we will all have hurts and trials as we go through life, but if we carry the bitterness of those hurts with us and never forgive, we will be the worse for it as we get older.
The Judge Dredd in our Mind is the Inner Critic .As men we can be our own worse critic.
You can overcome your inner Judge Dredd by 1 - Forgive Yourself 2 - Understand Truth 3 - Team Up What area does your Judge Dredd beat you up with? Connect with me and let me know @davidthemaxwell
The ABC of answering our Awkwardness
- Aware of Your Awkward
- Big Picture Your Awkward
- Cold Shoulder Your Awkward
How to approach your life as a man like a professional athlete:
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Seek Coaching
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Keep Training
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Overcome Setbacks
Overcoming Limiting Beliefs 1. Acknowledge Our Limiting Beliefs 2. Identify Our Limiting Beliefs 3. Fight the Limiting Beliefs
Find resources to help you at www.theconfidentman.me
What do we do with all the clutter in our brains as men? This episode we will talk about the concept of brain boxes and how they can help us declutter our mind. This will empower us to think and communicate more clearly.
Many of us feel a constant sense of overwhelm in our lives. Time seems to go so fast and we never get everything done! However, the main issue is not more time, but having the right priorities in our life. Today we are going to be connecting with 3 reasons men need priorities in their life.