It’s truly your lucky day! Because, even though I didn’t think I’d ever share this secret again, I’m gonna show you the main ingredients you need in order to be master of the universe. And despite what you might have thought, up until this moment…
You are NOT already the master of the universe.But I’m here for you. You’re my digital neighbor. And the Bible says to love your neighbor as yourself. So, keep reading. And in almost no time at all your master of the universe status will change. Oh, and by the way, don’t let those scientists who say the universe is expanding throw you off course. It’s do-able if you have the right stuff and never give up.
So, are you ready? Good, let’s get to it.
First off, you gotta gather up the ingredients to get the universe going in the first place. And you’ll need a rough idea of how long your materials can last and what they’ll be made of. No worries. You can do all the calculations on the handy device of your choice.
(note to self: build a master of the universe ingredients calculator app. money in the bank)
So, go get yourself some awesome light sources, water, oxygen, and as many of the elements as you can. Remember, you’re gonna build the right kinds of planets, moons, suns, and other heavenly bodies to form a functioning and cohesive universe. This ain’t gonna be some lean-to chicken hut for crying out loud. And you don’t want it to just splatter all over the place. Right?
OK, once you have all those ingredients, it’s a good time to pause, at least for a few minutes or so, to ponder your “end game.”
And your end game has to be able to answer these two questions…1. What’s your “why?” 2. Who’s your target audience? (or, in this case, who will be serving you?)
Alright. Great! You’ve got the ingredients. And you’ve answered the two questions for your end game.
I’m sure you’re probably like most people who want to be master of the universe. Your WHY is already answered in your goal. And your target audience is made up of the fairly intelligent creatures you’ll control. All those so-called “people” who’ll tend to the planets, moons, and stars so you can relax.
So, it would probably be a good idea to take some of those ingredients you gathered up and see if you could stir them together and make some interactive beings. Personally I think this would be the hardest part of the whole thing. But maybe you’ve already got some good ideas on how you’ll do it.
And once you have a couple of those “beings” formed, see if you can devise a way for them to procreate. You certainly don’t want to have to go make new ones every time you turn around or get bored. Am I right? And if they make new ones, that just means you’ll have even more of them to control.
Win-WinOK, now you’ve got a bunch of self-replicating creatures building stuff and working on “their own ideas.” So, move in and show them how it’s all done. After all, they wouldn’t even be here if it wasn’t for you. And they’ll probably just bend over backwards trying to find ways to thank you for controlling their lives.
And that’s when you’ll have an irresistible urge to send me thank you gifts. Not necessary. Seriously.
I’ve gotta be transparent and tell you something. For the vast majority of people I’ve shared al this information with, it all sounds like too much work. Yeah, I get it. If you’ve gotten this far, you might be at that crossroads, too. If so, there’s another option.
You could just leave the whole universe in the hands of someone who really knows what He’s doing. That’s the option I’ve chosen. And I gotta tell you, it’s the only option you’re most likely gonna be able to commit to long term. And long term is much longer with this option. Plus, it’s such a relief to know you’re not in charge of things like…
So, if you decide to take a pass on the whole master of the universe thing, consider the prayer option.
Pray to the God of Creation and thank Him that He made you, the world, the universe, and everything in it. Thank God He didn’t leave it up to men and women. Because we haven’t even mastered which clothes go in which cycle of the washing machine.
Thank GodIn the best of times, where’s the challenge?
In the worst of times, where’s your choice?
And in the fevered pitch, where’s the silence?
When the love is breached, where’s the voice?
Could you have your very life taken from you
While the world stood at your feet?
Wouldn’t that completely stop and numb you?
Wouldn’t you admit defeat?
Well, thank God He didn’t leave it up to you…
Thank God He didn’t leave it up to you. (repeat)
In the darkest hours, who’s your Father?
In the scheme of things, who’s the One?
And in the best laid plans, who’s the Spirit?
When your heart is healed, who’s the Son?
Could you let your very blood be taken
For your friends who’d run away?
Wouldn’t all your faith and hope be shaken?
Would you even think to pray?
Thank God He didn’t leave it up to you…
(repeat twice)
Lyrics © 2009 (me)
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Stay tuned…
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I can predict people will still be living on Earth a thousand years from now. And that prediction includes their ability to drink water, eat real food, and breathe fresh air. Yep, that’s right. I can predict the future.
But, just because I can predict the future like that doesn’t mean much.No, I’m not a prediction savant. And I don’t play one on YouTube. So, just because I can predict the future with confidence still doesn’t mean I think I know it all (and I knew that’s what you were thinking about me just now).
Yeah, I’m what you might call a prognosticating magician. Oh yeah, you know it’s true. Given enough time that’s what you’d call me. At least once you discover some of my secrets of diversion.
Anyway…
Someone, long before me, shared some predictions about how long this planet could last. And, when you consider how accurate that source has been time after time after time, there’s no point in doubting the accuracy of any “future talk.”
So, I’ve shared what I’ve shared, up to this point, to point out how outrageous the end-of-civilization claims are. And in recent years, as they’ve attempted to predict a dystopian future, those claims have gotten increasingly stupid. And they reveal who the control freaks are. Good news is, they’re just clanging brass clowns and provisional, passing puppets. And, in the long run (eternity), their message will vaporize.
But they DO get to have their 15 minutes of fame right now. So, as they slither through their slogan-filled sleepwalk, we can focus on things that are pure and praiseworthy. Because…
We KnowChicken little, chicken little,
That old, darn sky just won’t fall.
But I guess that doesn’t matter
Long as they can fool us all
Into thinking that the climate
Is an enemy we’ve made
Just by breathing and by living.
It’s a heat wave masquerade.
But discerners don’t believe it.
Yes, we know where Truth is found.
And we know the sky will not fall
And the Earth will spin around
For as long as God determines.
He has made that point quite clear.
So, go spout your hoaxes elsewhere.
Earth will still be fine next year!
© 2023
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Slim and None. Those are the probable answers to the question. But, naturally, that begs the question. And at least one version of the question would be, “What are the odds that everything happens for a reason?” And I’d say chances are also slim and none that people who believe everything happens for a reason would agree with Jesus on that.
Uh-oh. I done went and done it that time. So, before I move on, I’d like to know if you agree with this:
Chances are slim and/or none that God didn’t author the Bible.My option, on that statement, is NONE. But I’ll play the Lord’s advocate (because I prefer never to advocate for the devil) and assume not everyone agrees with me.
If that’s you, bear with me as I blast out some info that maybe you haven’t considered before. And this doesn’t come from some marketer. It’s not from a metaphysicalized so-called “pastor” or “minister.” This word, that affirms accidental circumstances, comes right out of the Bible in at least three different places. Actually four places. And maybe even five. But I don’t want you to start with the first place it’s found in case you’re the type who’s easily confused.
So. Are you ready for the affirmation word? Are you sure? Because this gets kinda complicated and it triggers people.
OK, if you’re still reading, it means your mind is fortified and you’re ready to hear some truth.
So, here’s the word. Chance.
Bam! Oh yeah, that word IS in the Bible. Four times when you do a search in the New King James version. And are you ready for the high octane Spirit chaser? One of the times the word “chance” is used, it’s in RED. Bam again! (for the initiated, red letters mean those words were spoken by Jesus)
Anyway…
The reason I brought it up is because I see, literally every day, Christians debating whether or not everything happens because God ordained everything. And anyone who says He does has NOT yet comprehended the book He wrote. Because He’s infinitely creative (meaning His creative abilities have no end). And He’s infinitely brilliant (meaning He knows how to create worlds and beings that don’t require Him for day-to-day operations.
So, that means God designed you to be able to think for yourself. And decide for yourself.
But THAT is why there is so much evil and horror in the world.Because there seems to be no depth of depravity that human beings aren’t willing to go. People have done things to each other so horribly wicked that it never entered God’s mind they would do them.
Sure, God knows everything knowable. And everything He wants to know. But do you think for a moment, that God, for eternity past, had any thoughts of burning children on altars to sacrifice them to Baal? No, that’s not His nature. It’s ours.
OK, I just had to get that out there for your consideration. And I know chances are slim that everyone will agree with me. But I also know there’s a chance somebody’s mind could be changed. And that notion motivates me to share the info. Here’s a little outro rhyme of chance…
Maybe. Maybe not.Will the sun rise in the morning?
Will the temperature be hot?
And will skies be blue and sunny?
Well, maybe…maybe not.
Will the songbirds all be singing?
Will the breezes blow a lot?
And will leaves lift up their laughter?
Well, maybe…maybe not.
Will some words of wisdom visit?
Will the books all have a plot?
And will we read some happy stories?
Well, maybe…maybe not.
Will the world go on forever?
Will the getting all be got?
And will we all be nice to others?
Well, maybe…maybe not.
© 2022
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To see me now, it might be difficult to even imagine I was once considered part of the cool crowd. Not the smoke-dope-drop-ludes-party-till-you-drop crowd. But because I was a full-time musician that so-called “cool crowd” those people figured it was OK to have me around. Even though they discovered it’s difficult to find someone as uncool as me.
But the truth is, it’s preferable to be as uncool as me.Not for most of the people on the planet, of course. But it IS preferable. Because my uncoolness is a sign I’ve made at least one wise choice in my life.
And that one wise choice was to believe in, trust in, and follow the One who most of the whole world chooses to ignore. The One who’s getting TONS of social media and traditional media coverage this week. Yeah, I’m talking about the ONLY One (not Neo) who can save you from, and dissolve, this matrix world.
This weekend marks the umpteenth time believers have acknowledged what Jesus did approximately 2000 years ago. And if you’re as uncool as me, it gives you chill bumps to imagine how eternity with Him will be.
I hope you’ve gotten your boarding pass to Heaven. It won’t cost you anything but humble heart. Because it’s already been paid for by the One who Resurrection Day is all about. If you don’t already have your ticket, don’t waste another minute. The train is about ready to leave the station. Don’t be left behind singin’ the song of…
The Uncool FoolEvery day seems a little bit shorter
And there never seems to be enough time.
Everyone is lookin’ for a reason,
So, I’ll tell you, it’s inside of this rhyme.
Every life plays a part in this journey,
Starting way down in a singular cell.
If you don’t have a clue what your part is,
Ask the only one who knows you so well.
Why am I here?
What should I do?
Why do I play the uncool fool, blindsided by the golden rule?
Where is my peace,
Long overdue?
These thoughts in my head are so cruel, bombarded by the uncool fool.
Every time you believe that you’re smarter
Take the mask off and then open your eyes.
You might have lots of facts in your head, but
Ask yourself these things and see if you’re wise.
Why am I here?
What should I do?
Why do I play the uncool fool, blindsided by the golden rule?
Where is my peace,
Long overdue?
These thoughts in my head are so cruel, bombarded by the uncool fool.
© 2024
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Who wants to listen to (much less, sing) a bunch of old songs with a bunch of thee’s, thy’s, and thou’s? I mean, not only is that stuff not cool, it just sounds weird. Yeah, the old hymns lyrics say stuff that nobody even understands anymore. Right?
Well, old hymns lyrics might be hard to understand. But not impossible.Most of the old hymns lyrics talk about a living, loving Father who shows compassion to all who ask for it. As this example from the song, Great Is Thy Faithfulness, shows. It’s the second verse in most hymnals (and, yes, I know that’s an uncool thing to talk about, too). Here’s the verse:
Summer and winter and springtime and harvest,
Sun, moon and stars in their courses above
Join with all nature in manifold witness
To Thy great faithfulness, mercy and love.
Those lyrics simply show how the almost endless, observable forces of nature and the universe show God’s mercy and love.
And the first verse of the song expresses the hope you can have for each new morning. The hope which can only come from this God. He provides, and has always provided, everything you need.
Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my Father;
There is no shadow of turning with Thee;
Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not;
As Thou hast been, Thou forever will be.
Sure, there are a lot of those TH words.That’s what I call ’em. Thy, thee, thou, thine. But you can basically just change them all to some form of you or your. And then the meaning is clear.
Side note: when those lyrics say “thou changest not,” they allude to God’s nature. He’s always been, is now, and always will be good, living, loving, personal, and relational. But He has also changed over the course of time. A LOT. And all for your sake. And mine.
Your Creator has made an everlasting pardon for your many terrible mistakes available to anyone who asks Him. Anyone who asks with genuine repentance that is. And when you do, you’ll receive the peace that endures forever. Because you’ll receive the Spirit of everlasting Life from Jesus. That message comes through in another verse from the song:
Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth
Thine own dear presence to cheer and to guide;
Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow,
Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside!
Remember this…God doesn’t give you a spirit of fear. He gave you a “spirit of power, and of love, and of a sound mind“. If you’re not experiencing the strength and hope for a bright tomorrow, it’s most likely because you’re still depending on yourself or your things or something worse. My recommendation is that you don’t have faith in YOUR faith. Have faith in His. As the old hymn’s lyrics say:
Great is Thy faithfulness!
Great is Thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see.
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided;
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!
Stay tuned,
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I’m the only byline author here on TonyFunderburk.com. And, of course, that makes sense since the website bears my name. In case you’re not familiar with journalism jargon, a byline is just a title of the article and who wrote … Read the rest
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Bob Dylan said it. So, it must be true right? He talked about how you gotta serve somebody. In fact, in one of his songs, he sang “you’re gonna have to serve somebody” quite a few times. So, he must … Read the rest
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Sometimes people ask me why I spend so much effort writing “Christian stuff” instead of just writing “more popular music.” And the short answer is, because there’s so much of the “popular stuff” that’s anti-God. So, there’s an urgent need … Read the rest
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47 years ago? Can it truly be that long? But you know what they say. Math don’t lie. And the numbers add up to (or subtract to) 47 years. I’m ramblin’ on about it because 1974 was the year, and … Read the rest
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Even if you’re not familiar with the world of copywriting, you probably read some every day. Because copywriting is the act of using words to sell. That’s the simple definition. And a guy I’ve been following for over 30 years, … Read the rest
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It’s true. We Christians have a different perspective on life. So, we think different thoughts from the rest of the world. And that’s because we know ideas can have eternal consequences. So, we should think a different way. With a … Read the rest
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“God is in control.” And “God’s got this.” Or how about, “Just gotta remember it’s all part of God’s plan, so wait for His perfect timing.” If you’ve been saying any of those things…or anything that sounds like them, then … Read the rest
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There’s a reason food tastes better when it’s seasoned with salt. Because salt is tasty. And it’s the most versatile seasoning on the planet. And it doesn’t hurt that it’s essential to your health. Wow, is anybody else getting a … Read the rest
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Do you ever wish you were one of those prophets and kings? Oh yeah, sit back and close your eyes. And imagine you’re one of the prophets and kings from days of old. Ah, the good life. People jump at … Read the rest
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And the hate goes on Sing it to the tune of the old Sonny and Cher song. And The Hate Goes On. “Drums keep poundin’ rhythm to the brain. La de da de de, la de da de da.” And … Read the rest
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“There is no God” Says the fool. Only a fool could or would dare to make the claim that there is no God. Because it’s a self-refuting assertion. In order to say it so absolutely, you’d have to know everything … Read the rest
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What advantage do fear and worry give you? Spoiler. It’s a trick question. Because typical fear and worry, the kind you see all around you right now, give you absolutely no advantage. In business, creative endeavors, or any other part … Read the rest
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Get your free money fast And get it “while the gittin’s good.” Because if you’ve got any sense left in your brain, heart, and soul, you know it can’t last. Right? Or can it? Maybe I’m just an aging, yet … Read the rest
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Yeah, challenges people face are real Who knew? I can’t remember where I read it. But I recently saw where somebody wrote that as a headline. Or subhead, or something like that. Anyway…they probably thought they were saying something profound. … Read the rest
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Is the rising sun essential? As I was doing a little research for my daily writing idea, I looked up how essential sunlight is for good health. Keep in mind, I don’t always use keywords the typical way. Because I’m … Read the rest
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My songwriting for hope has a much broader scope And when I say, songwriting for hope, I’m not talking about a person’s name. I’m talking about actual hope. Yes, it’s a real thing. In spite of all the negativity media … Read the rest
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Going home again Every person on Earth was once a thought in the mind of God. So, you and I originated in Him and that makes Him our first home. Whether you agree or not makes no difference. It’s still … Read the rest
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Faith and hearing (even without ears) “Hey, Siri. Find faith and hearing online.” Use that command and phrase on your iPhone or iPad, and Siri will give you some interesting results. Not because Siri heard you. Because Siri can’t actually … Read the rest
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Men and Women Are Not Equal “Well, Tony just jumped off the deep end again. Probably gonna tell us how and why men are more important than women.” Yeah, right. That’s exactly what I’m gonna do. Because I’ve never valued … Read the rest
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I’m writing it down anyway… No. Don’t try to stop me. Not gonna listen. fingers in ears la, la, la, la, la. No matter what you say. No matter how much you plead. I’m gonna find out what’s true. And … Read the rest
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Man is good, except for most of the time I saw a Christian, on social media, quoting Ronald Reagan. And the quote was, “I know in my heart that man is good, that what is right will always eventually triumph, … Read the rest
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Lazy Gluttons Uh-oh. Mom! Tony just started calling names! He called some people lazy gluttons. Don’t know what a glutton is, but pretty sure it’s not good. Because it comes after lazy. [powerpress_player] Why in the world am I talking … Read the rest
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Hmm…there’s nothing new to say today Imagine a king from a far away land. From a distant time in the past. A king who had more riches than anyone. And literally lacked for nothing. But none of it was enough. … Read the rest
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Don’t give it all you got Cue up the Rocky theme music. Zoom the camera in on Rocky running through the backstreets of Philadelphia. Build up the music as he runs up those stairs. Feel the excitement as he reaches … Read the rest
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How come the whole world knows his name? About 2000 years ago, a baby was born. Well, a lot of babies were born. But only one of them was THE baby. No one, these days, would even know who he … Read the rest
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Are you a mess in times of stress? In times of stress do you stop and think about whether God might be mad at you? No? Don’t feel like the Lone Ranger. Because I’m sure you’re like almost everybody else. … Read the rest
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Jesus is the one way I see social media posts and internet articles talking about the forgiving nature of God. And His immense love. Of course, God forgives and loves. Certainly He does. But, unlike most Christians will tell you, … Read the rest
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The Actual Attributes of God If you do an online search for the attributes of God, you’re liable to find what one pastor calls the “omni’s and the im’s”. You’ve probably heard of them…omnipresent, omniscient, omnipotent…immutable and impassible. Those are … Read the rest
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Admonish one another Look up admonish in the dictionary, and you might come to the conclusion it’s something harsh. For example, here’s how one dictionary defines it: “warn or reprimand someone firmly…warn (someone) of something to be avoided: he admonished … Read the rest
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Hate speech is in the ears of the listener I just read an article on my Apple News app talking about the shooter connected to the Pittsburgh synagogue. And the article called it a hate crime committed by a man … Read the rest
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Can we make America great again? I’m not a Donald Trump fanboy. I didn’t vote for him. Or any of his republican rivals or his democratic opponent in the presidential election. Just want you to know that up front. But … Read the rest
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The Simple Truth The Christian faith is based on one thing and one thing only…the simple truth that Jesus is the only way to eternal life in Heaven. And His love wins out over all the sins of every person … Read the rest
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Toxic masculinity – a cunning, conniving label Some would say…check that…many would say…check that…most would say, if given the opportunity, I suffer from toxic masculinity. That’s a label, until recently, I hadn’t heard before. And it’s a clever (translate: cunning … Read the rest
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He is not a she and never will be. An article popped up on my radar this morning, and I couldn’t help but believe how farfetched it would have sounded just a few short decades ago. The whole piece centered … Read the rest
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Grace to me almost unbelievably This is gonna be about me. But…if you’re looking for some answers for your own life, you should keep reading. Because when it comes to needing answers, solutions, and hope, I’m just like you. My … Read the rest
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One Day Soon I remember, when I was about five years old, snapping green beans on the porch with my Grandmother in Oklahoma. She would almost always find a way to talk to me about God, Jesus, and time. On … Read the rest
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I’ve Got Things To Do I wouldn’t mind stopping all of the wars. I’d be a diplomat, If I could know for sure in my heart That it was simple as that. But peace will have to wait. I can’t … Read the rest
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Hey Christians – Are you admonishing one another? And not only that, but are you doing it with a song? A little while back I wrote about how singing with grace in my heart is part of my “job description”. … Read the rest
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Bugs and drugs – this ain’t gonna be pretty Yeah, you know when the headline mentions bugs and drugs, the story is gonna be a little creepy. And toss in some foul-mouthed thugs, and you’ve got a story only a … Read the rest
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Who doesn’t love liberty and freedom? I’ve been watching America decline into self-loathing and self-induced slavery for the past couple of decades. And I’m amazed at how quickly so many people are willing to sell their liberty and freedom to … Read the rest
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Is Christian Cool…cool? I’ve been thinking over some “real” stuff lately. As cool as I think the digital world is (or can be), it doesn’t hold a candle to the real world. And by that I mean people. And by … Read the rest
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The mind of God – probably not what you think It’s all part of God’s plan. How many times have I heard that…from Christians? And it makes me cringe. Every. Single. Time. They’ve fallen for the Platonic view of God … Read the rest
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Moses wrote the first 5 books in the Bible. Collectively, they’re known as the Pentateuch. I’m not gonna even attempt an exposition of all that right now. I just wanna draw your attention to where Moses got a little redundant. … Read the rest
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So, how do you understand the inexplicable? You can’t. Or can you? Or is there really such a thing as understanding the inexplicable universe? Pondering the mysteries of the universe without the “site map” can lead to brain melt-down. Or … Read the rest
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I hope you’re plugged into the infinite power source. Here’s why: In the Words And Music Podcast, Episode 95, I talk about: Daring to call yourself a Christian Not getting what you deserve The Jeep Wave (yes, there really is such … Read the rest
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Could you pass the salt, please? I’m gonna serve up some tasty tidbits from the previous week…plus a few extras. In the Words and Music Podcast, Episode 94, I talk about: How the salt of the earth is losing its flavor … Read the rest
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In this episode of the Words and Music podcast I talk about joy peace, fear, time, hypocrisy, and the measles. Yep, you read that right. It all makes more sense when you read (or listen to) these stories… No joy in … Read the rest
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In this episode of the Rhyme and Reason podcast I talk about: Who knows you better than you know yourself? How I sweat the details and why I shouldn’t How having a noble dream doesn’t make you a Christian Why … Read the rest
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How in the world can anything to do with spooky, weeping, hungry poverty bring you any encouragement? That’s a fair question. But in this Rhyme and Reason Podcast I share the fuller message behind why I’m using these words. It’s … Read the rest
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The old Christian hymns often said things so much more wisely and profoundly than the “praise and worship” music that permeates many churches today. They weren’t so repetitive and chant-like. They told stories and conveyed such faith in a relationship … Read the rest
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I’m not nothing. In fact, I am something. Not because of how particularly special I am just by being me…but because I love. Yep, love is the key. Without love I’m nothing. What does it matter what I do in … Read the rest
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I remember, sometime back in 1997 I think it was, when I first heard the expression “he thinks he’s all that and a bag of chips”. I nearly pulled a Danny Thomas move… (video no longer available) I’d never heard … Read the rest
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The fullness of joy most people seek (whether they know it or not) is only found in a relationship with your Creator. And God IS your Creator…even if you don’t believe in Him. David, who was King of Israel, was … Read the rest
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