ThriveologyHappiness – Thriveology: Recent Episodes
Happiness – Thriveology
How Neuroscience, Mindset, and Action Work Together
Good intentions pave a road to nowhere good… right? But why is it that even our best of intentions, our best plans, do not get us the results we want? Why is it that we stall out (assuming we even get a good start)?
It turns out that success (and thriving) takes far more than just the desire to get there. It takes far more than simply starting.
And yet, we humans seem to just get our own selves into trouble. We trip ourselves up!
Fortunately, there are ways we can get out of our own way… and neuroscience can help us.
Which is why I am bringing you an interview with John Assaraf. You may be familiar with him from his various media appearances, or from his books, or even from a few documentary movies he’s been in. And if you haven’t seen him yet, you will love hearing from him.
RELATED RESOURCES
John’s Website (with free ebook for you)
Innercise (check out the app)
Have you failed?
Did that failure stop you from moving forward? Did it get you stuck?
Failure is a part of life. Ever watched a child learn to walk? Success only comes after repeated failures. Yet that same child keeps on trying, until the child gets it right.
What happens in adulthood? Why does a fear of failing keep us from acting?
When we don’t take action for fear of failing, we have pre-emptively failed.
We have already decided we would fail, so we never even start, guaranteeing we don’t get to where you want to go.
A few decades ago, I started a business. It failed miserably. And it kept me stuck for awhile. But one day, I realized there was something else to consider about that failure. There were some lessons I learned.
Those are lessons I apply every single day.
Let me suggest 3 questions that will help you turn a failure around, and make the failure simply another opportunity.
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Let’s just say it and get it out of the way. You, I, and everyone else, is going to die. An inescapable fact of life. We will die.
A morbid thought? I don’t think it has to be a morbid thought, as much as an organizing thought.
Reality.
It brings things into focus.
Years ago, I met a man who was dying from cancer. He was focused, determined. His prognosis was terminal, so that was not his determination. He was determined to live out the rest of his life to the fullest. He spent his time working on projects dear to him. He made apologies and amends to those whom he felt he had hurt. He was letting his loved ones know they were loved.
His imminent death gave him focus.
One day, he turned to me, after I told him how much I respected how he was facing death, and said, “What about YOUR death?”
“What?,” I asked. I wasn’t the one dying, after all.
Then he said, “YOU are going to die, too. Maybe after me, maybe before me. But you will die, too. Don’t wait. There may be no waiting.”
Death has a way of rearranging your priorities.
Listen to this week’s podcast to ponder death and YOUR life.
Have you heard of Kaizen? It is the principle of continuous improvement.
Continuous improvement is a great model for change. It is based on constant changes toward a better outcome. No need for sudden upheaval or change (although that is sometimes necessary). Instead, course corrections are made along the way, nudging something toward improvement.
That “something”? It might be a product (like Japanese automobiles, where Kaizen became the method of them becoming excellent automobiles), companies, or even individuals.
But how, you might wonder, do you actually DO that continuous improvement?
Let me offer a super-simple tool that you can apply to your own life, to your company or workplace, or even to a relationship or organization.
SSC – Start, Stop, ContinueThree benchmarks: What do you need to Start? What do you need to Stop? What do you need to Continue?
In this week’s episode, I discuss how to apply SSC to your own life… and to other areas in your life.
Listen in for a new tool.
RELATED RESOURCES
Dealing with Change
Why We Avoid Change
Paradigms
Limiting Beliefs
Life is tough.
Not always. But along the way. And even after you get past one struggle, that doesn’t mean there isn’t another one up ahead. That’s just the nature of life.
It doesn’t mean you are doing anything wrong or that the world, God, or the Universe is out to teach you a lesson. It’s just the nature of life.
You may notice 2 crowds. First is the “Grind Culture” that just says to suck it up, keep on grinding, and MAKE it work. They have a point that you have to get through some tough times. But sometimes, it is wise to step back and ask if the fight is worth it.
Then there is the “Sign Culture.” That group tells you that any struggle is an indication you are on the wrong path, that something is wrong with you, and that life “should” be easy… if you are doing it right. They have a point that sometimes, a struggle is pointing to you moving the wrong way… swimming upstream. But the fact is, life means struggles… at times.
So what do you do to hold up when life gets you down?
We discuss it… and 5 things to do… on this episode of the Thriveology Podcast. Listen below.
RELATED RESOURCES
Does Everything Happen for a Reason?
Dealing with Emotional Pain
Facing Fears
Accepting What Is
Book: Thrive Principles – 15 Strategies for Building YOUR Thriving Life
Blame is rampant in today’s world. We all quickly point the finger at someone/something else, proclaiming, “It’s not my fault!”
Interestingly, I also notice how rampant it is for people to take the credit for successes.
They/we claim credit for what goes right but refuse blame for anything that goes wrong.
We live in a “culture of blame.”
Which is what often keeps us from growing. From changing. From learning from our mistakes. If someone/something else is to blame, what could I (or you) do? Not my fault… not my problem.
Change requires us to change the equation. To take responsibility, when we are responsibible. To share credit when others deserve credit.
Great leadership is about accepting ultimate responsibility for mistakes and problems, while giving credit for successes.
So, how do we turn the equation around? I discuss it in this week’s Thriveology Podcast.
RELATED RESOURCES
Responsibility
NMF Syndrome In Marriage
Showing Up
Thrive Principles Book
Immutable Laws of Living Book
Thanksgiving, the holiday, is often lost in food and family. What is lost? Our opportunity to experience gratitude. The chance to really give thanks. Many times, it can feel like an obligation. Instead, I suggest we see it as an opportunity. Even in tough moments (actually, especially in tough moments), we can make a shift […]
Do you micro-quit? I sure do. And I need to quit micro-quitting! Maybe you do, too. It undermines my goals (and likely, your goals too). And it keeps you from thriving. What is micro-quitting? Well, if you quit something (an activity, a job, a sport, a hobby, etc.), you stop doing it. You step away […]
All around the news, we are hearing about algorithms built into our social media. It directs what we see and hear. It is how all social media decides what to feed you next. If you like this video, then you might like this one. If you know this person, then you may know this person. […]
“Where should I start?”, my client asked. Lots of times, we want to make changes, we want things to be different. And sometimes, we want things to be different before we make any changes. We want a different starting point. If you’ve ever been at a park or mall, looking at the map to figure […]
I must admit, I have said it myself, “I am just not creative.” But that isn’t true. Not for me, and not for you. Perhaps you had some art teacher tell you that at one point. Or perhaps you were looking at the creative work of someone else. And perhaps you aren’t creative in that […]
When I talk about Thriveology, many people say, “Oh, that is more of that ‘being happy’ stuff, isn’t it?” My response: No. Well, not just that. Sure, being happy is fine. No need to avoid being happy! But that is only one dimension of life. It IS the dimension of life that hedonism celebrates and […]
It’s in our DNA. We have a need to connect with others, to have connections and relationships. We express that in close relationships and larger groups. And unfortunately, lately, we have often allowed tribalism into our connections. When we slip into our tribal thinking, we work from a place of exclusion. This leads to a […]
Many people make the Control Error — they attempt to control what they cannot control, while also failing to control what they can. Why? Because they don’t know what they can’t control and they don’t know what they can control. Humans have a desire to feel like they are “in control” of their lives. Most […]
“How did I end up here?,” my client asked. He told me that for so long, he thought he was headed in the right direction. Now, he thinks maybe it was the entirely wrong direction. I asked him, “Did you course correct along the way?” He looked at me rather quizzically. So, I elaborated, “If […]
Have you seen this picture in your FB feed or on Twitter? It crossed my path a number of times. The first time I saw it, I was immediately uncomfortable. But it took a little time for me to be clear on why. There is a point to it: just because you apologize doesn’t mean […]