Girlscamp: Recent Episodes
Hayley Rawle
I’ve left the Mormon church but, damn it, I just can’t leave the church alone. Pull up a camp chair around the theoretical fire as I chat about all things post-Mormon. I’ll be talking faith transitions and crises, reading your own stories about what it’s like inside and outside of the church, and digging into all the cultural quirkiness that Mormonism and post-Mormonism provide. There may even be some slightly indulgent philosophizing thrown into the mix. Being post-Mormon doesn’t have to be lonely—at least not when you’re at girls camp.
With all the mystery that shrouds the Mormon temple, I do my best to lay it all out on the table. After an (albeit chaotic) rundown of what goes on inside, we talk through your stories, experiences, thoughts and feelings. I laugh, I cry and I process a good amount of religious trauma along the way. Hey, what else is Girlscamp for?
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Abby grew up as devout an evangelical Christian as they come, but when she went to college for a theology degree things quickly started to shift. Now she finds joy and peace outside of organized religion in a state of "theological fluidity". We swap stories of our intense religious upbringings, geek out about the literary richness of the bible and relate on giving up our former God-ordained mean girl ways.
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Before we dive into the Mormon influencer phenomenon, Kylie and I discuss her upbringing as a Utah non-Mormon who went to Catholic school. We compare the differences between what we learned about Jesus, swap sex education stories and analyze Kylie's burning question about whether or not Mormons think she's going to hell.
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Grief is a beast and adding a post-Mormon layer makes it even more confusing and complicated. After Maddy’s dad died, she has deconstructed not only her ideas of death, but also of life. We speak about the ways Mormons tend to handle loss and how Maddy’s approach has been vastly different. There are no easy answers, but there is a lot of discovery, hope and life along the way.
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Last year Maddy's dad suddenly and unexpectedly died. Today she opens up about what it's like to experience such an immense loss, especially so fresh after deconstructing Mormonism. But before we dive into the nitty gritty of grief, we back up and talk about Maddy’s Mormon story and what led her to eventually leave the church (which includes a roommate turned romantic partner, a penchant for plant medicine and much more).
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It doesn't get more quintessentially Mormon than a low-budget cultural hall wedding reception between two 20-year-olds who've known each other for a few months. Or so I thought, until I read the wedding story submissions for today's episode. I give the lay of the land on Mormon wedding culture before diving into the stories which include a temple ceremony panic attack, a mid-wedding-day loss of virginity and a sibling mega-wedding that should've made it on CNN. Enjoy!
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Growing up Mormon comes with some baggage and Indy Blue opens up about what it's been like for her to unpack. She speaks about her experience facing judgment as a teen on the internet, how her now-husband helped her see a life outside of Mormonism and how she's expanded her spirituality since leaving. We also discuss why we're both trying to tap more into our feminine energy and how Barbie functions as a perfect Mormon metaphor. Join us!
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What do you do when your wife leaves the LDS church and your whole world is upended? Zac Hayward speaks in today's episode to the believing side of a mixed-faith marriage before he also eventually left. We discuss in-depth the harmful rhetoric around those who leave, his hopes to become mission president and the role of church history in deconstruction. And there may be a tear or two shed along the way.
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Laura Danger of ThatDarnChat lends her expertise on creating an equitable split of the domestic labor, especially for those of us raised religious with very restrictive views on gender roles. We talk about my viral Mother's Day video calling out "all men", what to do if your partner thinks they're helping out around the house more than they really are, how women can learn to prioritize their own needs and all that's illuminated in buying a pool floaty.
Fair Play: https://www.fairplaylife.com/
Emotional Labor book: https://www.amazon.com/Emotional-Labor-Invisible-Shaping-Lives/dp/1250777356
Where to find Laura: @thatdarnchat @timetoleanpod
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Today Reagan Curtis joins me to dissect what goes down at BYU - the good, the bad and the beard cards. As THE Mormon religious university, looking at BYU culture sheds light on a lot of things about Mormonism generally. We dig into rogue firesides led by progressive professors, outdated religious ideas passed off as academia and landlords who report their tenants for... well, you'll just have to listen and find out.
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The Mormon in-laws are, well, Mormon in-lawing. Today we're unpacking stories about raspberry leaf tea drama, a MIL refusing to wash tanktops and a wedding that grandpa refused to attend. Along the way I share about my own in-law situation, where I'm at with deconstructing Christianity and how I'm feeling hormonally. You never know what you're gonna get, but that's how we like it here at Girlscamp.
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Bentley is back at Girlscamp! We share our reactions to your post-Mormon starter pack submissions (the classic steps of leaving the church, "must-haves" and "must-dos" and all of the post-Mo stereotypes). Along the way we chat everything from Game of Thrones to Skims underwear to Starbucks orders to the differences between a Mormon and a post-Mormon sex life.
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I hope you have your bonnets and bloomers ready, because this week we're diving in to all the wild things that went down on Mormon trek. Listeners beware, there is some true trauma. But there's some lighthearted trek craziness along the trail as well.
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By popular demand, Jaci Marie Smith comes to Girlscamp! I was honored to sit down with Jaci and talk through her story of leaving Mormonism. She shares about her relationship to religion growing up, her reasons for stepping away and how she chooses to share on a very public platform about her post-Mormon journey now. And of course, we can't help but frequently mention how we're in our hoe era. Jaci is an icon and an inspiration and now she's a camper too.
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Get ready to get enchanted by Ash Adams. Ash shares the spiritual path she took from ultra-traditional Mormon (and self-proclaimed Duggar wannabe) to palm reader with a deeply expansive view of spirituality. Among other things, we compare palm readings and patriarchal blessings, share predictions of the future of the LDS church and dive into how deeply rooted Mormonism is in our identities. Chatting with Ash was deeply spiritually enlightening to me. I can't wait for you to listen in.
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Gather 'round the fire for a good old girls camp testimony meeting. But this time, we're doing it our way! I share your testimonies of moving on from Mormonism- what you've learned, what you've gained, how you've found peace. There's talk of not paying tithing, finding lost items, parental relationships and so much more. No promises, but you may feel the post-Mormon spirit burning in your bosom.
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Kadie comes on the pod today to share her experience leaving the Mormon church and then discovering she is transgender. She tells about growing up in a religion with strict gender constructs, deciding to serve a mission despite some Reddit discoveries about Mormonism, getting married at BYU and then divorced, and how she ultimately realized she is transgender. While her experience as a transgender woman is unique, her journey of self discovery and embracing who she is will resonate with all of us campers.
IG: @1kadenweber
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Magic underwear, Jesus jammies, angel chaps... that's right, we're talking about Mormon garments. And boy is there a lot to cover. And there WAS a lot covered when I was a garment wearing gal myself. We talk through a lil' history of garments, what it was like to wear them (think body image issues, sensory problems, general discomfort) and what it's been like to stop wearing them.
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Get ready to step into your feminine rage as we talk about all things Mormon modesty. First I tell my own tale of modesty run ins as a Mormon teen and then we dive into your experiences. There are stories of t-shirts required over swimsuits, stapling fabric onto knee length skirts and an 8-year-old being chastised for wearing spaghetti straps. The conclusion? Modest is not, in fact, hottest.
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Come hang with Sal Osborne and I! Sal gives us campers a behind the scenes look at what went into her Hulu documentary Mormon No More. She shares more insight into her upbringing, why she left the church and where she's at now. We talk about divorce, raising kids outside of religion, confessions in a Mormon mom friend's mini van, becoming post-Mormon pioneers and much, much more.
P.S. The sound is a little wonky in some places on this one- I'm sorry! I'm still learning the ropes of virtual interviews, thank you for bearing with me!
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Ty French is here and he did not come to play! We walk through his whole story- coming out, leaving Mormonism and finding his dream life in LA. We discuss the LDS view of "loving your neighbor", having hard faith conversations with friends, the weirdness of Utah soda shops and the dead giveaways of a post-Mormon. Pardon our French, or don't! We don't care, we're just having a good time unpacking our religious trauma and laughing along the way.
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The ethereal Rachel Brockbank (artist and native name Tishmal) graces Girlscamp today with her post-Mormon story. She shares of her struggles with the church while in it, how love led her out of it and how her music is a diary of all the emotion along the way. She also speaks to her Native heritage and how that informs her spiritual journey both then and now. I was hanging on to her every word! I know you will be too.
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No more unauthorized therapizing by yours truly - today we are joined by an actual therapist! Danielle Calder specializes in religious trauma and faith transition and she's here to answer all of your Qs on those topics. She speaks from professional experience, but also from her personal experience as a post-Mormon woman in a mixed-faith marriage. We discuss how to tell your parents about your faith transition, overcoming religious phobias and even get into all the complexity of Exmo TikTok. Get ready to get healing!
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No more unauthorized therapizing by yours truly - today we are joined by an actual therapist! Danielle Calder specializes in religious trauma and faith transition and she's here to answer all of your Qs on those topics. She speaks from professional experience, but also from her personal experience as a post-Mormon woman in a mixed-faith marriage. We discuss how to tell your parents about your faith transition, overcoming religious phobias and even get into all the complexity of Exmo TikTok. Get ready to get healing!
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Girlscamp? More like boys camp! This week we've got a panel of guys to give us an inside view on their post-Mormon male perspective. Bentley, Jed and Kallen open up about a whole range of topics including unpacking a patriarchal upbringing, dealing with shame around sex/masturbation and rediscovering their identity away from the church. They are vulnerable and honest and- fair warning- more than once they burst simultaneously into song.
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If parenting weren't complicated enough, throw post-Mormonism into the mix! This week I discuss what I hope to teach my kids, how I face the fear of raising children outside of organized religion and all the ways I've reimagined motherhood since leaving Mormonism. I also share about my infertility journey and how it coincided with my path out of the church. I may ramble on for a bit about perceptions of "post-Mormon people" and squaring up with Jeffrey R. Holland on Instagram as well. All in a days work here at Girlscamp!
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Purity culture failed us and effed us big time and Ellen Young and I share plenty of examples to prove it. Some highlights: tingly "devils lube", a girls camp chant about growing bigger boobs and sexually impure women being compared to a poopy brownie (you read that right) during Sunday school. It's a wild ride! Ultimately, as Ellen says herself "pleasure is a human right" and we're all trying to figure out how to reclaim that energy and undo all the other stuff. So let's have a little fun on the journey there.
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Has Girlscamp peaked so soon?! This week the enchanting Madi Murphy of The Bad Broadcast tells all re:leaving Mormonism. Along the ride she talks about embracing the anger phase, finding truth in Pixar movies and why she thinks we’re all so obsessed with each other’s faith status. We also relate on being reformed judgmental bitches. Madi has such good insight into the faith journey process and I bet you’ll leave the convo feeling understood and inspired- I definitely did.
I pushed through some serious laryngitis to bring you today's episode with our mixed-faith mentor, Jacquelyn Covey. Jacquelyn shares her story starting out as a teen bride, going through a deeply challenging mixed-faith marriage and coming out on the other side closer to her partner and herself than before. She has tools galore that are applicable in any mixed-faith relationship (aka all relationships). Stay tuned 'till the end for an important note about the episode and a bonus late night ramble from yours truly about some of the emotions I've been experiencing around podcasting lately. xoxo Girlscamp girl
Today we talk about first time experiences with all the Mormon forbidden substances. There's stories about getting high at Disneyland, enlisting a mentor before having a drink at a work party and going to "coffee church" every Sunday morning. I discuss how I navigate drugs and alcohol as a post-Mormon who grew up around substance abuse. And I defend my preference for Diet Coke over coffee. There may not be many words to the wise, but there are many words about the Word of Wisdom.
McKenna Petty comes to Girlscamp to tell us about her experience getting spiritual answers that contradicted what she was raised to believe. We talk about what spirituality means to us now, why the temple is so stressful and warn against the Joseph Smiths of our day. Basically, we’re just a couple of best friends talking about how good we feel to have reconnected to our spiritual selves again- especially when it’s with a glass of wine at a communal dinner.
Listen and be graced by the wisdom of Chelsea Homer! Chelsea chats all about how to tap into community and form healthy and fulfilling friendships after leaving the structure of the Mormon church. She also shares about what it’s like to leave the church publicly, why her honeymoon was a bit of a train wreck and how she and her husband navigated a mixed-faith marriage. Bonus: A creative hack if you ever find yourself with a bottle of wine and no corkscrew.
Faith Journey Meetups Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1290631704424963
Lost and Found Club: https://www.instagram.com/lostandfound.club/
Marriage on a Tightrope: https://www.instagram.com/marriageonatightrope/
Uplift Kids: https://www.instagram.com/upliftkids/
Tommy Johnson is on the pod today to react to your wild (and troubling) tales from your Mormon missions. We cover rebel missionary groups, militaristic mission presidents, a Joseph Smith shrine and companions who bite… literally. Let’s heal from our mission trauma together!
This week I’m joined by the first guest of the pod- my husband, Bentley Rawle! We chat candidly about what it’s like to marry as (very) young Mormons and then leave the church together. There’s talk of sex and substances, gender roles and guilt. We even share our hot takes on ex-Mormon swingers. Come along for the ride!
So I left the Mormon church, now what? Well it turns out, as the Pinterest graphics suggest, sometimes the end is just a beginning. I talk this week about my new beliefs, wearing a tank top for the first time, navigating post-Mormon anger and telling my family I left the church at a public restaurant. And, of course, there are some existential musings along the way.
In today’s inaugural episode, we’re talking about the vision for the Girlscamp podcast (hint: community and connection) and all the weird things that bubble up when you start talking about post-Mormonism publicly. Then things get a bit vulnerable as I dive into the how, why and when I left the Mormon church.