Create A Life You Love: Recent Episodes
Rossanne Clay
Working harder is not the answer, neither is being better or being different. The answer is you being who you truely are. But what you're struggling with is that you don't know who that is or what that looks like. Who gets to define what your values are, what you believe, where you're headed, or what you find fun? Who is calculating how much you love yourself and if you value yourself enough? Only you. You would have felt those moments, when you were being who you were born to be: completely connected to Source Energy, unstoppable, joyful, fulfilled, compassionate, and hitting goals along the way. Those are the moments when you were being truely you. Now how do you access that and create that in every moment of your day? My vision is that each person lives in alignment with who they truely are. My mission is to empower people with a bunch of transformational tools that are easy to use and that actually work, so that they are able to easily release painful blocks and powerfully bring joy, love and fulfilment into each moment, while deliberately creating the life they dreamed of.
Thankfully, just because you feel powerless and helpless doesn’t mean you actually are. In a world where there are so many opinions, theories, values, philosophies and policies being battled on social media and amongst friends and family, how do you empower yourself to stay level-headed and still create connection in spite of the differences. For a support community join us on discord https://discord.gg/ZMemVjgA Sign up for a free 7-day online mini-course https://rossanneclay.com/newsletter/ Online learning https://rossanneclay.com/shop
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Found yourself struggling to choose your next best steps? Maybe some of your your decisions have resulted in suffering for you or those around you and that is contributing further to your indecision. Ever considered your behaviours, beliefs and attitudes have been automatic, that means, you haven't been making many decisions for your life. Sign up for a free 7-day online mini-course https://rossanneclay.com/newsletter/ Online learning https://rossanneclay.com/shop
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Why don't I get what I want? Why do other people find it easy to attract what they want? Why are other people making their wishes come true but you seem stuck. Sign up for a free 7-day online mini-course https://rossanneclay.com/newsletter/ Online learning https://rossanneclay.com/shop
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For a support community https://discord.gg/ZMemVjgA I'm going to address some of the childhood subconscious programming that's at play, how that is impacting you today and what you can do to reprogram your mind so that you create a life of getting what you want, that is for your greater good and for the grater good of those around you.
Chapters 0:00 Introduction 0:35 Childhood programming 1:07 Subconscious sabotage 1:51 Shutting down desires 2:33 The Fix 2:42 Priorities & pomodoro 4:43 Release limiting thoughts
I slammed my finger in the car door a few weeks ago and I thought it opportune to talk about how your body is a tool to understand your thought processes. For a support community join us on discord https://discord.gg/ZMemVjgA Sign up for a free 7-day online mini-course https://rossanneclay.com/newsletter/
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Contact support@rossanneclay.com There are now many books written about how your body keeps track of your trauma, your pain and your well-being. Ancient Chinese medicine has shown us the links. Books like Louise Hay’s "Heal your body" will tell you that each part of your body is linked to an emotion. Doctors will often point to stress but your body can tell you what stress specifics. We know about the placebo effect and how it works to heal your body. When we stay focused on the absence of well-being, that maintains a negative mindset about our health in general. What I now like to do is focus on how good it feels when it’s healed and how easy it will be to run and jump and dance again. This enhances the healing process For a support community join us on discord https://discord.gg/ZMemVjgA
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shame #tapping #efttapping #tappingforshame
How do you know if you are living with day to day shame, deep seeded shame? Why are shame and trauma so connected? Release shame with this powerful inner child visualisation so that you can reprogram your mind to live without the intense shame. Shame hides on the dark corners of our mind preventing us from living a fulfilled life and locking us in the pattern of more hurt and humiliation. Do you have shame? Would you know if you did? I’ll ask you some questions to hep you identify if you are living with shame and Ill explain a simple technique to break free of the shackles of shame Sign up for a free 7-day online mini-course https://rossanneclay.com/newsletter/ Online learning https://rossanneclay.com/shop
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Here are some questions to check if you are living with shame. If you answer yes to any one of these then you are living with shame. Are you scared of being seen or heard? When called on do you wish the floor would swallow you up? When people ask your opinion do you feel anxious? Do you avoid big gatherings? Are you afraid of being rejected? Do you make extra effort to please people or keep up a facade of happiness Do you frequently berate yourself when you’ve done something wrong? Do you wallow in self-pity? Or do you struggle to let go of times where you hurt someone? Are you difficult to console? Do you struggle to create intimate connections with friends and family? Do you worry about their judgements? Do you cause yourself harm or think about causing yourself harm or do you think it would be better if you were not around
Often it’s a learned behaviour that we mimic from the adults around us growling up. If they had insecurities then they would’ve lashed out at you with physical or emotional abuse. The narrative your subconscious picks up heads in two strong directions 1 if you feel inadequate then hurt someone make them feel inferior and you will feel superior to them. 2 if you are inferior to someone you better stay out of their way. You must hide yourself unless you know it’s safe to come out.
As a people pleaser, your main objective in life is to create deep and loving connections with people. Supporting them is something that brings you joy. But most of the time you struggle to put up boundaries. You set yourself as last priority in your life. Sign up for a free 7-day online mini-course https://rossanneclay.com/newsletter/
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Chapters 0:00 Introduction 0:42 5 Problems 0:43 1. Emotional Toll 1:15 2. Holding back 1:43 3. Downward spiral 2:04 4. Self-expression 2:25 5. Biggest problem 2:52 How to stop being a people pleaser 3:55 Hurdles
The cost of people pleasing - 5 problems 1 Emotional toll - anxiety - guilt - driven by the perception of being a "good" person Exhaustion worrying about their reactions - scared of being rejected by them feeling resentful and humiliated 2 You hold yourself back - lack of fulfilling on your goals and dreams - not allowing yourself to be appreciated - go against better judgement 3 They become harder to please - they value you based on how much you do for them. the more you do the more the want. and so you suffer more because you spend more energy on them 4 Not expressed - not putting yourself first and unable to say what you want missed opportunities 5 Needing to be pleased
The hurdles of breaking free When you realise you can break free from people pleasing, it often causes you to be scared to do so, or angry and frustrated at the way you have been compliant for so long. Remember to have compassion for yourself on this healing journey. You’ve been trained in this way. Recognising that it is subconscious programming allows you to let it go.
oneness #unifiedfield #illusion
At some point in our lives, everybody encounters tough times. It's part of life. We cannot avoid life's challenges, but we can choose how we respond to our misfortune. For a support community join us on discord https://discord.gg/ZMemVjgA Sign up for a free 7-day online mini-course https://rossanneclay.com/newsletter/
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When I used to hear this it made me mad. You try being me and living in this world and then tell me to control how I respond to life. Not only that but when people would say I get to create my reality I really felt powerless to how the environment treated me It all Sounded ludicrous But it’s all true We literally can create our own reality I love science especially quantum physics so I’m going to touch on that as I explain why you really do have way more power than you think
achievegoals #staypositive #lifecoach
All your goals can be achieved easily by small acts each and everyday that keep your frame of mind positive, focused and expectant of The Universe delivering to you - better than what you want. Here’s 7 things you can do each day that hep you maintain that positive energy so that you are able to keep taking inspires action. For a support community join us on discord https://discord.gg/ZMemVjgA Sign up for a free 7-day online mini-course https://rossanneclay.com/newsletter/
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1 Small joys - a joke, a child laughing, 2 Filling your creative cup - gardening, drawing, singing, dancing, music, art 3 Nature - walk or swim 4 Exercise/ sport/ activate body / yoga 5 Hugs 6 Clear out the junk in your mind (thought patterns) 7 Spiritual connections through meditation or any other method that allows you to feel connected to source energy and enter into a state of calm silent bliss
Depression keeps you trapped. Having a good cry helps but can make you feel worse and can create a deeper pit of hopelessness. So how can you lift yourself out of depression? What re the quickest ways to treat depression? These are my top methods for snapping out of depression and moving into a space where you can actively heal the root cause of your depression. For a support community join us on discord https://discord.gg/ZMemVjgA
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Are you having these problems? - lacking faith that The Universe is supporting you and wants wonderful things for your life - wanting things but feeling like you don’t get what you want - not trusting yourself to make the right decision - feeling like you keep missing out - people show up that don’t believe in your or your idea - desperately asking others for advice when you're in a bad place - not knowing what will serve your greater good and then greater good of those involved Newsletter signup https://rossanneclay.com/newsletter/
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What is your intuition and why should you care about it because there is a huge problem when you are not tapped into your intuition and how to tune into your intuition
Intuition is not about predicting the future or being psychic or having some special power. Your intuition is simply your inner guidance system which is your connection to Source Energy - the unconditionally loving energy — otherwise known as The Divine, guiding you towards your next best steps.
Tapping into your intuition is as simple as "FEELING"
You often don’t pay attention to how you feel. It’s a learned condition. From a young age you have sought approval from others, instead of listening to your intuition. You continue this cycle: think about how many times have you implied to a child “Listen to me, I know best”. This tells the child that they cannot trust their own intuition.
The most important thing to remember about your intuition is that it is always there guiding you. There is no moment in your life when your intuition stops working. So the question you should be asking yourself is: “If my intuition is always ‘On’, then’Why don’t I hear it?’”
To follow your intuition, your first steps are simply to notice your emotions and understand how you feel — immediately. Your feelings will help you determine what your intuition is telling you.
Notice any discomfort or dis-ease in your body when you focus on a thought. If you feel joy or love then you are following your intuition. If you feel scared or worried then work out what betrayal thought patterns are holding you back from feeling love. Shift yourself out of those thoughts and allow yourself to open up to joy and love so that you can hear your intuition.
Too often you only see yourself through the eyes of others. This sacrifices your full connection to your inner being, so you don’t feel complete. When you replace your intuition with other people’s opinions, it causes you suffering. This is your intuition telling you that you are out of alignment with Source Energy.
You understand that you can control your mindset, therefore you can control your attention. When you want to listen to your intuition, you simply have to give your attention to your emotions. From here you can get into alignment with your higher self.
The more you stay focused on how you feel, choosing to feel love and joy, the easier it is for you to stay tuned in to your intuition with real clarity.
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Is there tension in your relationship when you talk about your finances? This audio is part 1 of 2 in addressing the issues of money in a household. Tapping for financial tension with your partner is part 2 of this series Chapters 0:00 Introduction 1:16 Tapping in next video 1:31 What is your relationship with money? 1:48 Income associations 2:40 Spending associations 3:32 Debt associations 4:22 What's then root cause? 6:16 Why do we get triggered? 8:26 Conclusion
3 questions to explore 1. What is your relationship with money? 2. What is at the root cause of money issues? 3. What triggers you to get upset with your partner about finances?
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A controlling partner is a reflection of having experienced a controlling parent. And more than likely your partner had a dominating parent too. #controllingpartner #controllingparent In this video I’m going to get brutally honest with you about why this is happening and we take a look at how to break free from being controlled. Newsletter signup https://rossanneclay.com/newsletter/ Online learning https://rossanneclay.com/shop
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Being controlled by your partner means not having freedom in some area of your life. Where have you lost your freedom? Is it with money, time or relationships or self expression? Does your partner control what you spend or who you talk to or how you dress or what you are supposed to be doing with your time or maybe it’s all of the above. I want you to consider where you felt restrictions before you met your partner. Were you already constrained in these areas? Was someone else or something else, such as society’s rules or your family obligations, already determining how you spend your money or your time or how you present yourself? You may not have noticed feeling strangled back then but in a romantic relationship the feeling of being controlled is accentuated.
All these restrictions are placed on you - your subconscious mind believes that you cannot change the way they treat you. What’s happened is that you have a filter that the world is not safe and you have attracted a partner who also believes the same thing. They are putting controls in place to make their world feel safer. That means controlling you too, because they can’t trust anything fully. Meanwhile, you can’t trust them fully because of these restrictions they impose on you, so your subconscious filter continues to perpetuate the belief that the world is not a safe place for you.
When you transform this subconscious pattern of betrayal, you create more freedom in your life. Feeling trapped requires a shift in mindset, feeling freedom to express yourself comfortably, to do what feels right for you, and to make the changes you’ve been longing for.
The freer you feel, the less you are trapped in your relationships, in your finances, in your goals, and the greater sense of wellbeing you are able to create for yourself.
Feeling you have freedom is an inside job. When you feel completely free, the world will show up for you as a place where you have complete freedom to create money, create wonderful relationships and create plenty of time for self-care and fun.
In this video I offer a visualisation of how to free your mind and in the next video we will be tapping to be free from a controlling partner.
Why do we seek out sex? What's at play when we think of being sexy? Why is it important to have great orgasms? We answer these questions for your physical, emotional and spiritual well-being. We explore sex, sexiness and orgasms: unhealthy reasons for seeking out sex, what it means to really feel sexy daily and why we don't orgasm and why it's important to orgasm. Newsletter signup https://rossanneclay.com/newsletter/
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Chapters 0:00 Introduction 0:26 Unhealthy reasons for sex 0:54 Sexiness 1:45 Orgasm & spirituality 3:23 Tapping for sexiness and orgasms
efttapping #tapping
How to heal the feeling of self-loathing or the thought pattern that’s locked in your mind saying “I’m disgusting” or this part of me is disgusting. I’m going to explain how this originated in your childhood, how it plays out in your life and what you can do to release it. Newsletter signup https://rossanneclay.com/newsletter/
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So where does this voice come from that says "I'm disgusting" Disgust is a natural response when you want to expel something toxic from your body. But given that you are a wonderful human being why would you feel that about yourself? Well it begins with at childhood when the abuser hurts you.
Your natural feeling is to see their behaviour as disgusting - something toxic to you. But a thought pattern does not get directed one way. Thought patterns infiltrate every area of your life.
As a child being abused you internalised the phrase “to be disgusting”. Your mind took the thought pattern and extended it to all parts of your life and you’ll find a lot of things revolting or unstomachable. Most noticeably you find yourself disgusting. And as a child being abused it’s a valid dialogue. You must be disgusting to deserve being abused. Your psyche has to justify the horrific actions of the perpetrator- so a logical association gets locked in place as though it’s fact. You must be a terrible bad person ie disgusting and that’s why... it’s all these connections in your subconscious mind as you try to understand the world around you.
Lets explore the complications in adult life when this specific dialogue is left Unhealed. As you get older and work on your life Improving your health or your money or your relationships or Your connectivity to all - you find you can’t get it all right. Money gets improved and then your fitness drops off. Then health is improved but now you’re being mean to loved ones. Your relationships improve but now you’ve stopped tending to your spiritual self. This is so that you have a justifiable reason to feel disgusting. Your subconscious get to continue the thought pattern of berating yourself and feeling disgusting it also means you feel unattractive to people in general not just sexually, like people don't want to hang out with you. you feel undesirable and again not just in your romantic relationship but also to be hired for jobs.
To clear the thought pattern you really need to target the childhood belief that you are unlovable, undeserving of love, repulsive, unacceptable because you keep getting rejected as you are, unwanted, loathsome, And replace these thoughts with I am allowing in love, I am deserving of love, I am loveable, I am wanted,
There's always something we wish our husband/wife/girlfriend/boyfriend did differently. Often it's something small but really annoying. Sometimes is bigger issues like addiction or abuse. Here are practical tools to help you in your relationship. Newsletter signup https://rossanneclay.com/newsletter/
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Spotify Podcast https://open.spotify.com/show/3J4ZXhW...
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Chapters: 0:00 Introduction 0:49 Scenario 1 (low impact) 3:45 Scenario 2 (minor addictions) 5:15 Questions to ask yourself 8:02 Scenario 3 (addictions or abuse) 11:45 Visualisation to create lasting change 14:29 Conclusion
Use this 3 part mini-series to heal being numb https://youtu.be/0EhJEyyzCs4
At the end of the video there is a visualisation that you will be able to recreate by yourself anytime. It will help you to create long lasting change.
Many people have advised the need for you to be vulnerable because of the benefits this has on your intimacy and income. By being vulnerable you open yourself to become closer to people. It creates connection. Connection is good if you want to have deeper relationships. The concept of being vulnerable is great if you are comfortable with vulnerability. Most people are not, and that’s okay. If you are one of these people, I don’t advise vulnerability because you if you are not used to it then you perceive the act of sharing intimate parts of yourself as expressing your insecurity. Newsletter signup https://rossanneclay.com/newsletter/
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The expression of insecurity invites people to give their opinion about where you are going wrong and why you have an insecurity. They believe they are helping you by advising you. But it wounds you further because you are already insecure about the topic. So you become resentful and put up bigger barriers.
Vulnerability requires you to trust that the person, who you are expressing your insecurity to, is a safe person that you can confide in. Trust that they are someone who will not judge you, and who will support you.
So how do you overcome this hurdle?
Be highly selective. Choose people that make you feel safe and secure. There are one or two people that you will be able to trust. you feel safe with them already so be vulnerable with them. It’s easier to expect a good outcome when you are with someone who you know is safe to be around.
For everyone else, enhance your authenticity. Authenticity is a place where you feel comfortable to freely express yourself. Being authentic opens you up to expressing more of who you are. Because no energy is spent on protecting or guarding yourself, you are free to listen to what they have to say. You can take it on if you like it, or discard it if you don’t. The feeling of safety and security has to come from within. You are way more influential about how people treat you than you know.
Chapters 0:00 Introduction 0:27 The problem with being vulnerable 1:16 How to overcome it
Blame is a destructive learned behaviour that we use as a defence mechanism to protect ourselves from shame or punishment. It is a behaviour we learn as a child to help us cope with the world. Newsletter signup https://rossanneclay.com/newsletter/
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For a support community https://discord.gg/ZMemVjgA Chapters 0:00 Introduction 0:23 Why we blame 1:12 The pattern of blame 2:30 The cost of blame 2:58 The circuit breaker 4:03 Conclusion
As an adult we use blame to deflect pain but it has become a normal state of mind to cope with judgement, worry, blame and most significantly to cope with an inferiority complex. The ability to blame someone else allows us to artificially inflate our ego so that we feel superior to someone. Blame eats into our day-to-day life because it is a background process using up energy in our subconscious mind as our efficient brain looks out for opportunities to blame other people and find fault with things. Precious energy is spent on blaming and little is left for the enjoyment of living a life we love. Using a circuit breaker we are able to break the pattern of blame. The key is in noticing that we are blaming something or someone. The hardest part is to ask the question "What am I afraid of?" This helps us to get authentic about what the real problem is. Knowing the real problem gives us clarity and this clarity affords us better solutions than to just blame. Becoming faster and noticing a blame situation creates new subconscious patterns that stop you midway through a blame game and eventually prevents you from blaming in the first place.
We all have unhealthy thought patterns that play out when we are stressed. We address what an unhealthy pattern looks like, how you can identify one and four great tools to break free from a thought pattern that doesn't serve you. Newsletter signup https://rossanneclay.com/newsletter/
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For a support community https://discord.gg/ZMemVjgA Chapters: 0:00 Introduction 0:17 What are unhealthy thought patterns? 0:44 How to identify limiting beliefs 1:47 Tools to break free from unhealthy thought patterns 1:55 Affirmations 3:11 Ask better questions 4:57 Meditation 6:23 Tapping
Learn tapping using this video https://youtu.be/GJeFM4_7fXo
Stop following conventional wisdom about how to heal your trauma I'm going to share with you the mistakes i made on my long journey to get to healing my trauma and then I'm going to give you my shortcuts because I bet you've started out with your self-help books and your counselling and of course - shoving it way down deep - but enough about the old me I want you to no longer be a trauma victim or a trauma survivor i want you to simply be the gorgeous being living your best life Hi i'm Rossanne Clay helping you deliberately create a life you love
3 points to help you attract your perfect partner and as usual at the end of the video we will be tapping to attract your perfect partner. 1. How do you act to attract a prospective partner? I hear people asking - do I pretend I'm not interested? do I treat them super nice but then they'll take advantage of me? There is a lot of anxiety in seeking out a partner working out how to act - it becomes like a hunt. Remember - these are people, not objects - they have thoughts and feelings like you do and are equally as concerned as you are about finding a a partner. It's so cliche but be yourself - if you are not yourself you will be exhausted in your relationship from having to keep pretending to be someone else Your next question should be how do I "be myself" when I don't know who I am - great question we can address in another video but for now - do whatever comes naturally to you: join community groups that bring you joy - for example, find an art class or join a basketball team or a trekking group; Doing things that are good for your wellbeing like art, music, exercise and nature, will help you to feel better about yourself and open you up to meeting more like minded people. It might take courage to put yourself out there but it will be worth hit. Your “hunt” for a partner needs to become a journey of allowing in your ideal partner. The Universe knows you and knows all your wants and deepest desires. Trust in your own abilities to take the best steps towards finding someone and relax into it. 2. How do you look While it's fun to feel gorgeous and dolled up don't be too concerned about it. You want to attract someone who finds you beautiful just the way you are. don't let movies and tv define what you consider beautiful because you might attract someone superficial. And I have a video I created to help you feel comfortable in your own skin. What you really want is someone who gets you emotionally and intellectually. If you were using your sex appeal to show you are sexually compatible - don't worry because if you develop a relationship where you both feel safe in the bedroom then you'll easily create sexy time play too 3What attitude do I need If you don't fix up your self-worth then you might attract someone who really doesn't work for you - maybe they love hunting and you're an animal activist or maybe they're married or maybe they are clingy - Online dating apps causing anxiety there’s a lot of self-judgement and judgement. You’re letting the algorithm determine how you feel about yourself. Know what type of relationship you want and use the appropriate app for example don’t use tinder to find a long term relationship. Greater self-love and self-compassion and self-acceptance
Being able to trust the words coming out of your mouth is the first step. Do what you say you will do. If you know you can’t fulfil on small things, for example, that you will not be somewhere on time, then you are training your subconscious mind to not believe that you honour your word, and so you will not believe you can do big things either. Ensure you are supported and you support others. Avoid scenarios where you are too needy or where you are exhausted from giving too much. Accept yourself more so that you feel safe and secure within. Then you will feel safe to express yourself fully. Use your intuition to guide you to your next best steps.
This is a great video addressing a very little discussed issue about trauma. This is one way we can help to let go of the pain of the past caused by traumas. One of the first things we do when we experience trauma is escape from our body. My memories of trauma were as though I was a 3rd party, an onlooker, as though it didn’t happen to me, but to someone else. It’s a stress response designed to protect you. The problem is you haven’t got back into your body. In this episode we focus on ways you can get back into your body - the unhealthy vs the healthy.
At the end I explain exactly why you need to get into your body to heal your trauma.
Healing the feeling of being numb - Playlist https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLtVTIb7-e8q-7U8RS9NYL2PvwtWelmfg8
Louise Hay's Heal Your Body affiliate link https://amzn.to/2QM0RJg
Website: https://rossanneclay.com Contact: info@rossanneclay.com YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCVZoA1t5yiiywcgqQ849nJA For a support community: https://discord.gg/ZMemVjgA
Chapters 0:00 Introduction 0:57 Why we leave our body during trauma 1:37 Unhealthy ways we get into our body 2:50 Healthy ways to get back into our body 5:13 Why you need to be in your body 6:55 Be compassionate to yourself
