Upbuilding The Self: Recent Episodes
Upbulid
Two former monks, a former startup founder/CEO, and a former equity derivatives trader dive into how to be our best selves, free from the ego. Our egos are the identities we create for ourselves and wish the world to validate, but when we are not seen as we want to be, we feel insecure. This podcast lives at the intersection of leadership and spirituality. It will help you understand your ego and shed light on your inner world so that you can act with greater clarity, compassion, and the freedom to be your best self.
Carl Jung famously stated, "The greatest burden a child must bear is the unlived life of its parents." In this episode, Michael, Rasanath, and Vipin explore the connection between ego and parenting, and how unresolved ambitions, unmet needs, and unconscious identities quietly influence the way we raise our children. These inner dynamics lead us to place invisible expectations on our kids, hoping they will achieve or become what we have not yet faced in ourselves. They discuss how the desire to be seen in a certain way can subtly shape, and even strain, our relationships with our children. Through stories of homeschooling struggles, moments of public embarrassment, and the ever-present feeling of envy, they reflect on how personal growth can create the space for our children to live their own lives more freely. They also dive into how parenting, at its best, becomes a spiritual practice. It reveals what we need to work on within ourselves and invites us to grow in ways we might otherwise avoid.
Links
The Call to Awaken. Our flagship program on spirituality. Starts March, 2026. Open for registration. Limited spots available.
Enneagram Library Live: Join our bi-weekly conversations and teachings on the Enneagram to help you see yourself, others, and the human condition more clearly. Thursdays at 6pm ET on Zoom.
Upbuild Coaching Certification Training. Starts in October.
Upbuild Website
Instagram: @upbuildnyc Facebook: Upbuild LinkedIn: Upbuild
In Part 2, Hari Prasada and Rasanath vividly share what it was like in the heat of the moment distributing books in the streets and subways of New York City. They open up more about pivotal struggles they faced, including feeling humiliation and imposter syndrome, and how letting go in the spirit of service made room for the transformation we all crave deep down. Beyond being a most vital practice of compassion by outreach, book distribution also became a mirror that reflected their concocted identities, resistance to change, and something of the true self that lies beneath all these coverings.
Links
The Call to Awaken. Our flagship program on spirituality. Starts March, 2026. Open for registration. Limited spots available.
Enneagram Library Live: Join our bi-weekly conversations and teachings on the Enneagram to help you see yourself, others, and the human condition more clearly. Thursdays at 6pm ET on Zoom.
Upbuild Coaching Certification Training. Starts in October.
Upbuild Website
Instagram: @upbuildnyc Facebook: Upbuild LinkedIn: Upbuild
If you’ve spent time in New York City, or many other cities around the world, you’ve likely seen monks on street corners or in subways, holding out books and trying to spark conversations. This sacred practice is known as Book Distribution. In this episode, Hari Prasada and Rasanath share what it was like to engage in this practice during their early days in a New York City monastery. They tell stories, some funny, some more serious, and speak about the deeper purpose behind Book Distribution. With honesty and reflection, they reveal how the experience challenged their egos, tested their intentions, and opened them to unexpected moments of grace. Without having to walk the streets of New York book in hand (though we hope one day you will!), they give you a taste of the experience and accompanying lessons.
Links
The Call to Awaken. Our flagship program on spirituality. Starts March, 2026. Open for registration. Limited spots available.
Enneagram Library Live: Join our bi-weekly conversations and teachings on the Enneagram to help you see yourself, others, and the human condition more clearly. Thursdays at 6pm ET on Zoom.
Upbuild Coaching Certification Training. Starts in October.
Upbuild Website
Instagram: @upbuildnyc Facebook: Upbuild LinkedIn: Upbuild
Each of us is wired with a specific hierarchy of three core instinctual drives, shaping how we move through the world. The Instincts (sometimes referred to as Instinctual Variants) is part of the Enneagram framework and plays a powerful role in how our personalities form. One Instinct tends to dominate and demands most of our attention, a second supports it, while a third gets neglected and becomes a Blind Spot. In this episode, Michael, Hari, and Rasanath unpack the three Instincts—Self-Preservation, Sexual, and Social—and how they show up in our daily lives. They explore the energy behind each, how these Instincts function at their healthiest, and how they can create suffering. By understanding your “Instinctual Stack,” you can begin to shift from automatic patterns to conscious integration, creating space for real growth and movement toward the best version of yourself.
Links
The Call to Awaken. Our flagship program on spirituality. Starts March, 2026. Open for registration. Limited spots available.
Enneagram Library Live: Join our bi-weekly conversations and teachings on the Enneagram to help you see yourself, others, and the human condition more clearly. Thursdays at 6pm ET on Zoom.
Upbuild Coaching Certification Training. Starts in October.
Upbuild Website
Instagram: @upbuildnyc Facebook: Upbuild LinkedIn: Upbuild
Many of us pride ourselves on our ability to compartmentalize. We like to keep our personal and professional lives separate, push aside difficult emotions, and stay productive in the face of whatever comes our way. But what if this “skill” we value so highly is quietly cutting us off from our own hearts? In this episode, Hari Prasada, Rasanath, and Vipin examine why compartmentalization seems helpful but ultimately prevents us from being our best self. They distinguish between presence and suppression, explore how disconnection from the heart affects our relationships, and discuss what it takes to return to the emotions we've long set aside.
Links
The Call to Awaken. Our flagship program on spirituality. Starts March, 2026. Open for registration. Limited spots available.
Enneagram Library Live: Join our bi-weekly conversations and teachings on the Enneagram to help you see yourself, others, and the human condition more clearly. Thursdays at 6pm ET on Zoom.
Upbuild Coaching Certification Training. Starts in October.
Upbuild Website
Instagram: @upbuildnyc Facebook: Upbuild LinkedIn: Upbuild
Most of us are terrible at feedback. It’s awkward, forced, or worse, completely ineffective. In this episode, Michael, Hari, and Vipin break down why that is and how to fix it. They draw from their own journeys at places like McKinsey, MTV, Goldman Sachs, and Upbuild to show how feedback can be an act of ego…or a gateway to growth, trust, and real connection. They unpack what makes feedback land (or fall flat), why intention matters more than anything else, and how to make feedback human again.
Links
The Call to Awaken. Our flagship program on spirituality. Starts March, 2026. Open for registration. Limited spots available.
Enneagram Library Live: Join our bi-weekly conversations and teachings on the Enneagram to help you see yourself, others, and the human condition more clearly. Thursdays at 6pm ET on Zoom.
Upbuild Coaching Certification Training. Starts in October.
Upbuild Website
Instagram: @upbuildnyc Facebook: Upbuild LinkedIn: Upbuild
Why do we blame even when we know it’s harmful? It’s a behavior so woven into our daily experience that most of us hardly notice it, let alone question it. In this episode, Michael and Hari Prasada unpack the inner workings of blame, exploring how it arises from the ego's desire to control and enjoy. They examine its seductive emotional appeal, the false sense of order it provides, and the ways it damages our relationships and cultures. With real-life examples and practical tools, they highlight how we can shift from reactive blame to conscious accountability.
Links
The Call to Awaken. Our flagship program on spirituality. Starts March, 2026. Open for registration. Limited spots available.
Enneagram Library Live: Join our bi-weekly conversations and teachings on the Enneagram to help you see yourself, others, and the human condition more clearly. Thursdays at 6pm ET on Zoom.
Upbuild Coaching Certification Training. Starts in October.
Upbuild Website
Instagram: @upbuildnyc Facebook: Upbuild LinkedIn: Upbuild
Most of us spend the majority of our waking hours at work, yet so many people feel dissatisfied with their jobs. In this episode, Michael, Vipin, and Hari Prasada explore why work so often feels disconnected from meaning and how the ego plays a central role in this struggle. They break down the financial insecurities, self-limiting beliefs, and social pressures that keep us stuck in unfulfilling careers. The conversation also challenges the modern assumption that work should be our primary source of purpose.
Links
The Call to Awaken. Our flagship program on spirituality. Starts March, 2026. Open for registration. Limited spots available.
Enneagram Library Live: Join our bi-weekly conversations and teachings on the Enneagram to help you see yourself, others, and the human condition more clearly. Thursdays at 6pm ET on Zoom.
Upbuild Coaching Certification Training. Starts in October.
Upbuild Website
Instagram: @upbuildnyc Facebook: Upbuild LinkedIn: Upbuild
Today, we’re sharing something a little different. Michael was recently a guest on the Lovelink podcast, hosted by Brooklyn-based therapists Dr. Signe Simon and Dr. Simone Humphrey. Their show has featured many prominent guests, and in this episode, they sit down with Michael to explore the differences between coaching and therapy, Michael’s journey from Goldman Sachs to Upbuild, the tension between ego and success, and the role of spirituality in coaching. We’re excited to share their conversation with you.
Links
The Call to Awaken. Our flagship program on spirituality. Starts March, 2026. Open for registration. Limited spots available.
Enneagram Library Live: Join our bi-weekly conversations and teachings on the Enneagram to help you see yourself, others, and the human condition more clearly. Thursdays at 6pm ET on Zoom.
Upbuild Coaching Certification Training. Starts in October.
Upbuild Website
Instagram: @upbuildnyc Facebook: Upbuild LinkedIn: Upbuild
Compliments are the currency of love and something we all crave. Yet, paradoxically, somehow receiving a compliment is so hard for most of us. In this episode, Vipin and Hari dive into the dynamics of compliments and our ego's complex response to them. They explore how our longing for validation often leads us to reject the very recognition we seek. Through personal anecdotes and philosophical insights, they unpack the hidden impact on our self-perception and relationships as we struggle with compliments. They also share practical tips for how to receive as well as give effective compliments.
Links
The Call to Awaken. Our flagship program on spirituality. Starts March, 2026. Open for registration. Limited spots available.
Enneagram Library Live: Join our bi-weekly conversations and teachings on the Enneagram to help you see yourself, others, and the human condition more clearly. Thursdays at 6pm ET on Zoom.
Upbuild Coaching Certification Training. Starts in October.
Upbuild Website
Instagram: @upbuildnyc Facebook: Upbuild LinkedIn: Upbuild
Michael, Rasanath, and Hari Prasada dive into guilt—an emotion we all encounter but often misunderstand. Through engaging examples—from battling inner critics to avoiding plastic bottles—they reveal how guilt is a reflection of our conscience, the interplay between guilt and shame, and why it’s essential to understand what guilt is truly pointing to. They unpack common reactions to guilt—suppressing, avoiding, or wallowing—and guide you on how to channel this feeling into an opportunity for personal growth.
Links
The Call to Awaken. Our flagship program on spirituality. Starts March, 2026. Open for registration. Limited spots available.
Enneagram Library Live: Join our bi-weekly conversations and teachings on the Enneagram to help you see yourself, others, and the human condition more clearly. Thursdays at 6pm ET on Zoom.
Upbuild Coaching Certification Training. Starts in October.
Upbuild Website
Instagram: @upbuildnyc Facebook: Upbuild LinkedIn: Upbuild
Moral superiority is a trap that almost everyone falls into, often without realizing it. In this episode, Michael, Hari Prasada, and Rasanath unpack the ways in which the ego drives us to feel “better” than others—even in the name of values and virtue. They share personal anecdotes and insights to explore how moral superiority can mask unresolved emotions, hinder relationships, and alienate us from others. With vulnerability and depth, they reveal how to distinguish genuine values from ego-driven behavior and discuss the path toward transcending this subtle, yet powerful, egoic tendency. If you’ve ever struggled with the need to be “right” or “good,” this conversation will challenge and inspire you to reflect more deeply.
Links
The Call to Awaken. Our flagship program on spirituality. Starts March, 2026. Open for registration. Limited spots available.
Enneagram Library Live: Join our bi-weekly conversations and teachings on the Enneagram to help you see yourself, others, and the human condition more clearly. Thursdays at 6pm ET on Zoom.
Upbuild Coaching Certification Training. Starts in October.
Upbuild Website
Instagram: @upbuildnyc Facebook: Upbuild LinkedIn: Upbuild
One-on-one meetings are an unavoidable cornerstone of work life, yet many of us find it challenging to lead or engage in them effectively. In this episode, Michael, Rasanath, and Vipin share insights on transforming these meetings from transactional encounters into opportunities for authentic connection and enhanced productivity. They examine the transformative role of psychological safety and ego-awareness, showing how these elements lay the groundwork for strong, effective workplace relationships. Covering practical essentials, common pitfalls, and the often-overlooked power of alignment and clarity, this episode offers actionable strategies for leaders and employees to elevate their one-on-ones—and, ultimately, their workplace culture.
Links
The Call to Awaken. Our flagship program on spirituality. Starts March, 2026. Open for registration. Limited spots available.
Enneagram Library Live: Join our bi-weekly conversations and teachings on the Enneagram to help you see yourself, others, and the human condition more clearly. Thursdays at 6pm ET on Zoom.
Upbuild Coaching Certification Training. Starts in October.
Upbuild Website
Instagram: @upbuildnyc Facebook: Upbuild LinkedIn: Upbuild
My ego drives me to achieve, and if I were to give up my ego, wouldn't I also be giving up that drive and all my future successes?
With this prompt as the starting point, Vipin, Rasanath, and Michael dive into the nuanced relationship between the ego and ambition, exploring whether our quest for success is truly driven by the ego – or if there's a deeper force at play. Drawing on timeless teachings from Eastern wisdom, particularly the Bhagavad-gita, the hosts examine how the ego shapes our desires, motivations, and definitions of success. Through candid personal stories, philosophical insights, and practical reflections, they challenge the idea that surrendering the ego means surrendering ambition. Instead, they offer fresh perspectives on how aligning with the true self can lead to more authentic, fulfilling achievements.
Links
The Call to Awaken. Our flagship program on spirituality. Starts March, 2026. Open for registration. Limited spots available.
Enneagram Library Live: Join our bi-weekly conversations and teachings on the Enneagram to help you see yourself, others, and the human condition more clearly. Thursdays at 6pm ET on Zoom.
Upbuild Coaching Certification Training. Starts in October.
Upbuild Website
Instagram: @upbuildnyc Facebook: Upbuild LinkedIn: Upbuild
Time is the most valuable resource in the world. And yet, most of us are not so great at managing it.
In this episode, Michael, Hari and Vipin delve into the relationship between time management and the ego. They share the principles on which they base their philosophies for time management, along with tips and tricks for productivity. They emphasize how effective time management is deeply tied to understanding one's core values and how the ultimate goal of these practices is to facilitate the journey towards becoming one's most authentic self.
Links
The Call to Awaken. Our flagship program on spirituality. Starts March, 2026. Open for registration. Limited spots available.
Enneagram Library Live: Join our bi-weekly conversations and teachings on the Enneagram to help you see yourself, others, and the human condition more clearly. Thursdays at 6pm ET on Zoom.
Upbuild Coaching Certification Training. Starts in October.
Upbuild Website
Instagram: @upbuildnyc Facebook: Upbuild LinkedIn: Upbuild
It’s November 2010 on the Goldman Sachs trading floor in New York City. Just two years removed from the depths of the Global Financial Crisis, but you would never know it. The stock market has nearly doubled in the last 18 months, the Federal Reserve has freshly announced its second round of Quantitative Easing, and it feels like one big party on Wall Street. [from the opening paragraph of the article, Trading Derivatives and the Shame-Based Fear of Being Ordinary].
In this episode, Hari interviews Michael on the reflection Michael wrote sharing his experiences on the trading floor. They discuss the insatiable need for admiration, shame as a fuel, our loss of freedom, how to be humble, the movement toward authenticity, and how to overcome the shame-based fear of being ordinary.
Links:www.upbuild.comEnneagram Workshop (October 5-6)Upbuild Coaching Training (six-month program, starts in October) Coaching Skills for Work and Life Workshop (September 25)
Instagram: @upbuildnyc Facebook: Upbuild LinkedIn: Upbuild
As Rasanath shares in this episode, “Walking through our shame is the deepest experience of authenticity.” But what does it really mean to “walk through our shame” and how does one actually do that? In this episode, Michael and Rasanath do a deep dive into the emotion of shame and how it is impacting all of our lives in both big and subtle ways. They explore the nature of shame, its origins, and its complex role in our daily lives and relationships. They shed light on how shame fuels our actions, the internal struggle it creates, and the transformative journey from shame to humility. They also share strategies to confront and carry shame—an essential step towards achieving authenticity and higher consciousness.
Send us a Text Message.
Links:www.upbuild.comEnneagram Workshop (October 5-6)Upbuild Coaching Training (six-month program, starts in October) Coaching Skills for Work and Life Workshop (September 25)
Instagram: @upbuildnyc Facebook: Upbuild LinkedIn: Upbuild
Do you like being held accountable? Do you like holding others accountable? In this episode, Vipin, Hari Prasada, and Rasanath delve into different aspects of accountability. They explore the often anxiety-inducing way that accountability is viewed, how it can be misapplied, what makes for a more empowering approach, and the need for partnership in the process. This episode will help increase your desire for accountability and counter the strong tendency toward its avoidance.
Send us a Text Message.
Links:www.upbuild.comEnneagram Workshop (October 5-6)Upbuild Coaching Training (six-month program, starts in October) Coaching Skills for Work and Life Workshop (September 25)
Instagram: @upbuildnyc Facebook: Upbuild LinkedIn: Upbuild
Whether we are writing birthday cards, telling somebody how we feel about them, or giving a speech at a funeral, most of us find ourselves trying to say the “right” thing,” rather than what we actually feel. In this episode, Michael, Hari Prasada, and Rasanath discuss the importance of genuinely connecting with our emotions, the cost of saying the right things without feeling them, and the tendency to prioritize efficiency over authentic emotional expression. Through personal anecdotes and practical frameworks, they explore how to reconnect with our heart and its emotions, providing actionable steps to lead a more fulfilling and empathic life.
Send us a Text Message.
Links:www.upbuild.comEnneagram Workshop (October 5-6)Upbuild Coaching Training (six-month program, starts in October) Coaching Skills for Work and Life Workshop (September 25)
Instagram: @upbuildnyc Facebook: Upbuild LinkedIn: Upbuild
With 50 years and more than 35,000 hours of meditation experience among them, Hari Prasada, Rasanath, and Vipin, dive into the topic of meditation. They discuss the definition of meditation, why it’s so important to control the mind, why it’s becoming more popular these days, and the numerous non-spiritual benefits of meditation, including calmness, focus, clarity, and productivity. They also look at how meditation has been misappropriated and share the deepest purpose of meditation, which explains all of the other health benefits for which people are using.
Send us a Text Message.
Links:www.upbuild.comwww.upbuild.com/enneagram101
Instagram: @upbuildnyc Facebook: Upbuild LinkedIn: Upbuild
Most of us think we have a pretty good idea about what love is. After all, we have all been seeking it our entire lives. And yet, the reality is that most of us don’t really understand it at all. Inspired by recent insights from the Upbuild weekly program Remembering Who We Are, Vipin, Rasanath, and Hari Prasada delve into the concept of love as the highest form of motivation. They shed light on why most of us misunderstand love, how we tend to reduce or dismiss love, what we use as our substitutes for real love, and the conditions that need to be present for the experience of real love.
Send us a Text Message.
Links:www.upbuild.comwww.upbuild.com/enneagram101
Instagram: @upbuildnyc Facebook: Upbuild LinkedIn: Upbuild
Most of us keep death at arm's length. We might discuss it in a casual way or we might even joke about it, but how many of us are really introspective about death and all of the implications that come with it? In this episode, Michael, Rasanath and Hari Prasada delve into the importance of contemplating death in order to have a good life. They examine how death can help us reevaluate how we spend our time, discover the inconsistencies in our life, and challenge our existing paradigms. They conclude by discussing what we can learn from near death experiences and how facing death can help the ego die before the body dies
Links:www.upbuild.comwww.upbuild.com/enneagram101
Instagram: @upbuildnyc Facebook: Upbuild LinkedIn: Upbuild
Relationships often operate on unspoken assumptions and implicit agreements. And this is one of the reasons our relationships are so dysfunctional. In this episode, Mary, Michael, and Vipin introduce the skill of “Creating Conscious Relationship” to help you turn the implicit into the explicit, and in the process, to increase the trust in your relationships. They share the key components of this skill, their personal experiences of using it, and a step-by-step process to implement it for maximum impact.
Links:www.upbuild.comwww.upbuild.com/enneagram101
Instagram: @upbuildnyc Facebook: Upbuild LinkedIn: Upbuild
Conversations can be triggering. How we deal with those triggers determines everything about how effective and meaningful those conversations (and by extension, our relationships) end up being. In this episode, Michael, Rasanath, and Vipin explore the tool of “Pinch Moments”as a way to be able to recognize, call out, and address conversations that trigger us… without triggering ourselves.
Links:www.upbuild.comwww.upbuild.com/enneagram101
Instagram: @upbuildnyc Facebook: Upbuild LinkedIn: Upbuild
Are you growing or are you contracting? In this episode, Vipin and Michael introduce the framework of the comfort, stretch, and panic zones. They discuss what differentiates each zone from the others and how having awareness of these zones can help us grow towards the best version of ourselves. They share how they have used this framework on themselves and with their coaching clients, why most people spend time in either the comfort or panic zones, how the ego fits into the picture, and they provide effective strategies so that we can consciously spend more time in the stretch zone.
Links:www.upbuild.comwww.upbuild.com/enneagram101
Instagram: @upbuildnyc Facebook: Upbuild LinkedIn: Upbuild
Don’t ask: Do you have faith? Ask: Where do you put your faith?
In this episode, Hari Prasada, Rasanath, and Vipin discuss how faith is foundational to our daily lives and the intrinsic relationship between faith, knowledge, and experience. They analyze why faith is often associated with “blind faith,” how faith is not just a religious construct, and the role of faith in science. And finally, they unpack how faith is pivotal to being able to answer the question, “Who am I?”
Links:www.upbuild.comwww.upbuild.com/enneagram101
Instagram: @upbuildnyc Facebook: Upbuild LinkedIn: Upbuild
Atomic Habits has become one of the bibles of habit formation. One of the key ideas from that book is how to use an identity (e.g., I’m a runner) to positively influence our habits (i.e., to run consistently). However, at Upbuild, we talk a lot about how identities get in the way of being our best selves. In this episode, Michael, Hari Prasada, and Vipin explore how to reconcile these two ideas. While weaving in personal tales and anecdotes from their own lives, they discuss the potency of using identity to become the type of person we want to become, but address what we need to look out for so that we don’t overly identify with something that we are not.
Links:www.upbuild.comwww.upbuild.com/enneagram101
Instagram: @upbuildnyc Facebook: Upbuild LinkedIn: Upbuild
Feedback. We want it and we don’t want it.
In this episode, Michael, Vipin and Rasanath dive deep into the power of the 360 Degree Review. They demystify how the 360 process works, share real life examples from their work with individuals and organizations, and unpack many of the tips and landmines that are beneficial to be aware of when giving and receiving feedback. As Rasanath shares in the episode, “Feedback is a very sensitive thing.” This episode will help you navigate that sensitivity and perhaps inspire you to seek more truth about your impact on the people in your life.
Links:www.upbuild.comwww.upbuild.com/enneagram101
Instagram: @upbuildnyc Facebook: Upbuild LinkedIn: Upbuild
In the fourth and final episode of the Nonviolent Communication miniseries, Michael, Hari Prasada, and Rasanath explore why the NVC framework will only take us so far. They discuss how our needs are never really satisfied, our yearning for eternity, the common way that people misuse gratitude as a practice, the need for spiritual practice, and steps we can take to help us on the path toward meeting the deepest need that we have.
Links:www.upbuild.comwww.upbuild.com/enneagram101
Instagram: @upbuildnyc Facebook: Upbuild LinkedIn: Upbuild
In the third episode of our Nonviolent Communication miniseries, Michael, Hari Prasada, and Rasanath take us through a central teaching of the framework: O-F-N-R. This teaching allows us to separate facts from interpretation, identify our emotions, determine the “why” behind our emotion, and then healthily enroll others in helping us meet our needs.
Links:www.upbuild.comwww.upbuild.com/enneagram101
Instagram: @upbuildnyc Facebook: Upbuild LinkedIn: Upbuild
In the second episode of our Nonviolent Communication miniseries, Michael, Hari Prasada and Rasanath take a deep dive into the incredibly tight connection between needs and feelings, exploring how the nuances of these terms affect our conversations and interactions. They reveal how our needs are connected to feelings, how many of us mistakenly use the word “feeling,” and the importance of seeking understanding. They also discuss how acknowledging our feelings and unmet needs can open up a path to self-awareness and compassion for others.
Links:www.upbuild.comwww.upbuild.com/enneagram101
Instagram: @upbuildnyc Facebook: Upbuild LinkedIn: Upbuild
Welcome to the first episode of our Nonviolent Communication miniseries. Nonviolent Communication (NVC) is a method of communication developed by psychologist Marshall Rosenberg in the 1960s. Its power lies in facilitating compassionate, empathetic, and effective communication between individuals.
In the first episode of this miniseries, Michael, Hari Prasada, and Rasanath explore how our everyday communication is “violent,” the difference between needs and strategies, the importance of the acronym P.L.A.T.O., and how understanding this framework can stop the “emotional slavery” that is present in our relationships.
Links:www.upbuild.comwww.upbuild.com/enneagram101
Instagram: @upbuildnyc Facebook: Upbuild LinkedIn: Upbuild
Promotions. Travel experiences. Schools for our kids. Cars. Food. Other people.
Our lives are full of lust. And this lust is preventing us from being who we really are. Starting with this powerful realization and from the ideas present in the Bhagavad-Gita, Hari Prasada, Rasanath, and Michael help us peel back the layers of our desires. They guide us through the maze of our selfish tendencies and illuminate the ways in which our lustful impulses affect our lives. They discuss personal examples, including what happens when we attend networking events and how we objectify others just by looking at them. They close the discussion with practical takeaways to have a healthier relationship with our desires.
Links:www.upbuild.comwww.upbuild.com/enneagram101
Instagram: @upbuildnyc Facebook: Upbuild LinkedIn: Upbuild
“When you squeeze an orange, you'll always get orange juice to come out. What comes out is what's inside.” It was hearing this quote, by Wayne Dyer, that inspired Rasanath to really look at and feel confronted by a distastefully sarcastic comment that he had made toward someone he loves. In this episode, Rasanath and Vipin do a deep dive into the concept of tolerance, shedding light on the significance of consciously working through problems rather than hastily reacting or seeking escape. They focus on the importance of putting space between stimulus and response, responding rather than reacting, the consequences of a lack of tolerance, and how we can leverage this wisdom for healthier and happier relationships.
Links:www.upbuild.comwww.upbuild.com/enneagram101
Instagram: @upbuildnyc Facebook: Upbuild LinkedIn: Upbuild
Why do we gossip and what is the impact of gossip on us and the people around us?
In this episode, Vipin, Michael, and Hari Prasada examine why the topic of gossip is applicable to all of us, what we “achieve” when we engage in gossip, and the subtle and not-so-subtle costs that we pay when we do it. They give us actionable next steps to help us understand what is going on inside us when we gossip and how to choose a way of communicating that will create healthier relationships.
Links:www.upbuild.comwww.upbuild.com/enneagram101
Instagram: @upbuildnyc Facebook: Upbuild LinkedIn: Upbuild
What happens when we take shortcuts in life? Does this lead us toward more efficiency and success, or does it ultimately lead us down a path of self-deception and erosion of character? In this episode, the entire team gets together to analyze the profound implications of cutting corners. While sharing personal anecdotes and also unpacking some of the world’s most “successful” corner-cutters, they examine how this behavior manifests, the mindsets driving it, and the unexpected consequences it may unveil.
Links:www.upbuild.comwww.upbuild.com/enneagram101
Instagram: @upbuildnyc Facebook: Upbuild LinkedIn: Upbuild
In this very personal episode, Hari interviews Michael about a piece he wrote, From "It Happened TO Me to "It Happened FOR Me”, in which he discusses a challenging experience where he was cut off from someone he cares about. They discuss navigating the impulse to blame others, the value of being aware of the stories that we tell ourselves about ourselves, the link between gratitude and empathy, and most importantly, how to turn difficult experiences into lessons that can put us on the path toward being our best selves. They also share some laughs as Michael talks about his staunch opposition to his siblings buying of ice cream when they were kids, and Hari shares about an ex-girlfriend who taught him crucial things he couldn’t see about himself.
Links:www.upbuild.com www.upbuild.com/enneagram101
Instagram: @upbuildnyc Facebook: Upbuild LinkedIn: Upbuild
In this final episode of the Enneagram Foundations series, we explore how to use the Enneagram in our everyday lives in order to make sure that it has the profound impact on us that it is capable of having. We also discuss how the Enneagram can only take us so far and how a spiritual practice is needed to help us go beyond the limits of our personality.
Links:www.upbuild.com
Instagram: @upbuildnyc Facebook: Upbuild LinkedIn: Upbuild
Typing is one of the most critical aspects of the Enneagram, and yet, mistyping is rampant. In this episode, we explain why this is case and what we can do about it. We also explore the one Type that is more likely to mistype than any other Type, and give you a Type by Type run through of how each Type approaches the Enneagram. What we find is that how we approach the Enneagram is often very revealing of our Type.
Links:www.upbuild.com
Instagram: @upbuildnyc Facebook: Upbuild LinkedIn: Upbuild
Enneagram Type 9s, nicknamed the The Peace-Seeker, pride themselves in being calm, easygoing, and unassuming people who can flow with whatever comes and don’t need recognition or attention. They often don’t admit to themselves their problems or work to resolve conflicts because that’s really difficult and makes them feel not peaceful. Famous examples include Rosa Parks, Grace Kelly, and Jack Johnson.
In this episode, we explore the essence of the Type 9 and the insecurities and motivations that drive their every action and relationship. We walk you through the story of the Type 9’s life by looking at their journey through the Levels of Consciousness from their healthiest to their average to their most destructive ways of operating. We close the episode by offering a critical type-tailored practice to help 9s rise up in consciousness and be the best version of themselves.
This episode is designed to help Type 9s thrive in their personal and professional lives by fostering a deeper understanding of their insecurities and motivations. It’s also an invaluable resource for friends, partners, and colleagues of Type 9s who wish to better support and relate to them.
Links:www.upbuild.com
Instagram: @upbuildnyc Facebook: Upbuild LinkedIn: Upbuild
Enneagram Type 8s, nicknamed the The Challenger, are all about strength and showing who’s in charge to reassure themselves that they don’t have a weak bone in their body. They often can’t admit to themselves how scared they really are of their buried weakness, and so they show up larger than life in nearly all situations hoping to leverage their power for the people they love. Famous examples include Steve Jobs, Chelsea Handler, MLK Jr, Donald Trump, Aretha Franklin, and Putin.
In this episode, we explore the essence of the Type 8 and the insecurities and motivations that drive their every action and relationship. We walk you through the story of the Type 8’s life by looking at their journey through the Levels of Consciousness from their healthiest to their average to their most destructive ways of operating. We close the episode by offering a critical type-tailored practice to help 8s rise up in consciousness and be the best version of themselves.
This episode is designed to help Type 8s thrive in their personal and professional lives by fostering a deeper understanding of their insecurities and motivations. It’s also an invaluable resource for friends, partners, and colleagues of Type 8s who wish to better support and relate to them.
Links:www.upbuild.com
Instagram: @upbuildnyc Facebook: Upbuild LinkedIn: Upbuild
Enneagram Type 7s, nicknamed the The Enthusiast, are care-free and fun-loving with a moment-to-moment appetite for adventure and zero tolerance for boredom. They often run from their problems in life which pursue them relentlessly in spite of their intelligence and joyfulness. Famous examples include Robin Williams, the Dalai Lama, Amy Winehouse, and Russell Brand.
In this episode, we explore the essence of the Type 7 and the insecurities and motivations that drive their every action and relationship. We walk you through the story of the Type 7’s life by looking at their journey through the Levels of Consciousness from their healthiest to their average to their most destructive ways of operating. We close the episode by offering a critical type-tailored practice to help 7s rise up in consciousness and be the best version of themselves.
This episode is designed to help Type 7s thrive in their personal and professional lives by fostering a deeper understanding of their insecurities and motivations. It’s also an invaluable resource for friends, partners, and colleagues of Type 7s who wish to better support and relate to them.
Links:www.upbuild.com
Instagram: @upbuildnyc Facebook: Upbuild LinkedIn: Upbuild
Enneagram Type 6s, nicknamed the The Loyalist, live in a zone of constant questioning as they strive to be dependable for those they care about. They often wish that they had a cause to dedicate their life to which they could completely trust and that they had the support of others whom they could completely trust. Famous examples include Woody Allen, Adolf Hitler, Jason Alexander, and Larry David.
In this episode, we explore the essence of the Type 6 and the insecurities and motivations that drive their every action and relationship. We walk you through the story of the Type 6’s life by looking at their journey through the Levels of Consciousness from their healthiest to their average to their most destructive ways of operating. We close the episode by offering a critical type-tailored practice to help 6s rise up in consciousness and be the best version of themselves.
This episode is designed to help Type 6s thrive in their personal and professional lives by fostering a deeper understanding of their insecurities and motivations. It’s also an invaluable resource for friends, partners, and colleagues of Type 6s who wish to better support and relate to them.
Links:www.upbuild.com
Instagram: @upbuildnyc Facebook: Upbuild LinkedIn: Upbuild
Enneagram Type 5s, nicknamed the The Investigator, are exceptionally cerebral, technical, and keep to themselves in their pursuit of knowledge to understand how things work. They often have trouble relating to people. Famous examples include Albert Einstein, Bill Gates, Eckhart Tolle, Tim Burton, and JRR Tolkein.
In this episode, we explore the essence of the Type 5 and the insecurities and motivations that drive their every action and relationship. We walk you through the story of the Type 5’s life by looking at their journey through the Levels of Consciousness from their healthiest to their average to their most destructive ways of operating. We close the episode by offering a critical type-tailored practice to help 5s rise up in consciousness and be the best version of themselves.
This episode is designed to help Type 5s thrive in their personal and professional lives by fostering a deeper understanding of their insecurities and motivations. It’s also an invaluable resource for friends, partners, and colleagues of Type 5s who wish to better support and relate to them.
Links:www.upbuild.com
Instagram: @upbuildnyc Facebook: Upbuild LinkedIn: Upbuild
Enneagram Type 4s, nicknamed the The Individualist, try to be authentic with every fiber of their being, but it’s so hard for them to know who they really are deep down. They often feel overwhelmed trying to do justice to their talents, all the while feeling misunderstood by people who move too fast, are too shallow, and act too harshly to understand their full heart. Famous examples include Bob Dylan, Johnny Depp, Prince, Michael Jackson, and Frida Kahlo.
In this episode, we explore the essence of the Type 4 and the insecurities and motivations that drive their every action and relationship. We walk you through the story of the Type 4’s life by looking at their journey through the Levels of Consciousness from their healthiest to their average to their most destructive ways of operating. We close the episode by offering a critical type-tailored practice to help 4s rise up in consciousness and be the best version of themselves.
This episode is designed to help Type 4s thrive in their personal and professional lives by fostering a deeper understanding of their insecurities and motivations. It’s also an invaluable resource for friends, partners, and colleagues of Type 4s who wish to better support and relate to them.
Links:www.upbuild.com
Instagram: @upbuildnyc Facebook: Upbuild LinkedIn: Upbuild
Enneagram Type 3s, nicknamed the The Achiever, are smooth and success-driven, endeavoring to show with their life that the sky’s the limit for what can be accomplished. They are also often concerned that others can see through their image. Famous examples include Elon Musk, Oprah Winfrey, Michael Jordan, Barack Obama, Taylor Swift, and Lady Gaga.
In this episode, we explore the essence of the Type 3 and the insecurities and motivations that drive their every action and relationship. We walk you through the story of the Type 3’s life by looking at their journey through the Levels of Consciousness from their healthiest to their average to their most destructive ways of operating. We close the episode by offering a critical type-tailored practice to help 3s rise up in consciousness and be the best version of themselves.
This episode is designed to help Type 3s thrive in their personal and professional lives by fostering a deeper understanding of their insecurities and motivations. It’s also an invaluable resource for friends, partners, and colleagues of Type 3s who wish to better support and relate to them.
Links:www.upbuild.com
Instagram: @upbuildnyc Facebook: Upbuild LinkedIn: Upbuild
Enneagram Type 2s, nicknamed the The Helper, are all about taking care of others and having deep intimate connections so they can feel really close and loved. They also have a hard time giving others space or seeing their own needs. Famous examples include Fred Rogers, Sally Field, and Stevie Wonder.
In this episode, we explore the essence of the Type 2 and the insecurities and motivations that drive their every action and relationship. We walk you through the story of the Type 2’s life by looking at their journey through the Levels of Consciousness from their healthiest to their average to their most destructive ways of operating. We close the episode by offering a critical type-tailored practice to help 2s rise up in consciousness and be the best version of themselves.
This episode is designed to help Type 2s thrive in their personal and professional lives by fostering a deeper understanding of their insecurities and motivations. It’s also an invaluable resource for friends, partners, and colleagues of Type 2s who wish to better support and relate to them.
Links:www.upbuild.com
Instagram: @upbuildnyc Facebook: Upbuild LinkedIn: Upbuild
Enneagram Type 1s, nicknamed the The Moralist, are detail-oriented visionaries driven by a set of principles personal that they feel in their gut and want others to align with. They also forever feel the guilt of not living up to these principles themselves. Famous examples include Nelson Mandela, George Harrison, Mahatma Gandhi, Osama Bin Laden, and Queen Elizabeth II.
In this episode, we explore the essence of the Type 1 and the insecurities and motivations that drive their every action and relationship. We walk you through the story of the Type 1’s life by looking at their journey through the Levels of Consciousness from their healthiest to their average to their most destructive ways of operating. We close the episode by offering a critical type-tailored practice to help 1s rise up in consciousness and be the best version of themselves.
This episode is designed to help Type 1s thrive in their personal and professional lives by fostering a deeper understanding of their insecurities and motivations. It’s also an invaluable resource for friends, partners, and colleagues of Type 1s who wish to better support and relate to them.
Links:www.upbuild.com
Instagram: @upbuildnyc Facebook: Upbuild LinkedIn: Upbuild
Typing is one of the most critical skills for any user of the Enneagram. In this episode, we dive deep into the factors that contribute to understanding how to type and talk about the two biggest obstacles to typing correctly. We discuss the impact of the ego, the influence of the Wing, and the problem with Enneagram tests. We close this episode by giving you our three most impactful tips for how to type accurately.
Links:www.upbuild.com
Instagram: @upbuildnyc Facebook: Upbuild LinkedIn: Upbuild
How can Donald Trump be the same type as Martin Luther King, Jr? How can Nelson Mandela be the same type as Osama bin Laden? It all comes down to the Levels of Consciousness. In this episode, we explore the most important dimension of the Enneagram, the Levels of Consciousness, which is so critical because it gives us the roadmap to be the best version of ourselves. No type on the Enneagram is better than any of the other types. Each type has its gifts and challenges. So the goal of the Enneagram is not to unconsciously identify ourselves as the type that we find most attractive. Instead, the goal is to become conscious of the type that we already are, no matter how unflattering it might be, and use that awareness to become a better version of that type. The Levels of Consciousness, shows us, as we often say in our workshops, how we can shed the layers of the ego — our identity of who we think we should be — so we can be who we are. It is our key to personal growth and a jumping off point for self-realization.
Links:www.upbuild.com
Instagram: @upbuildnyc Facebook: Upbuild LinkedIn: Upbuild
Welcome to the first episode of Upbuild’s Enneagram Foundation podcast series. Whether you are a seasoned enthusiast or a curious newcomer, this series promises to offer fresh perspectives and valuable insights for your journey into the world of the Enneagram. In 14 episodes, we’ll provide a strong foundation on the nine Types as well as the most important dimension of the framework, the Levels of Consciousness. This series will bring the Types alive for you in a vivid way, help you understand the suffering that each Type experiences as a result of its ego fixations, and offer our personalized practice for each Type to move towards their best self, free from the shackles of the ego.
Links:www.upbuild.com
Instagram: @upbuildnyc Facebook: Upbuild LinkedIn: Upbuild
The inner critic is commonly thought of as the voice in our head that negatively judges and demeans us. This is true, but it is also has another job that is rarely spoken about. In this episode, Hari Prasada, Michael, and Rasanath do a deep dive into the strategies and nuances of our inner critics. They address the damage that can be done by taking the inner critic too seriously, how our relationships with our inner critics mirror abusive relationships, and how our addictive personalities play a role. Finally, they leave us with strategies to break free of the games that our inner critics are so desperate to get us to play.
Links:www.upbuild.com
Instagram: @upbuildnyc Facebook: Upbuild LinkedIn: Upbuild
What is really motivating you? Are you running away from something or towards something?
In this episode, Hari Prasada, Michael, and Rasanath share a framework inspired by the Bhagavad-Gita for thinking about different levels of motivation that show up in how we approach relationships, work, and our everyday experience of the world. They do a deep dive into each of the four levels of motivation and offer practical ways to understand where we are operating from and how to move to a higher level.
Links:www.upbuild.com
Instagram: @upbuildnyc Facebook: Upbuild LinkedIn: Upbuild
If you are not having an existential crisis, well, you are not looking hard enough.
In this episode, Hari Prasada, Michael, and Rasanath do a deep dive into existential crises, their causes, and how to deal with them. They discuss the link between existential crises and the fear of death, how the fear of not being my ego and the fear of death is essentially the same thing, the importance of spirituality, and how their own existential crises led them to having this conversation.
Links:www.upbuild.com
Instagram: @upbuildnyc Facebook: Upbuild LinkedIn: Upbuild
We all have a need for validation, and yet most of us don’t like to acknowledge that we need it.
In this episode, Rasanath and Vipin explore the definition of validation, why most of us have a difficult relationship with our need for validation, and why it is essential to our identities. They share personal examples and examples from their experience as coaches to illustrate how to move from an unhealthy to a healthy pursuit of validation.
Links:www.upbuild.com
Instagram: @upbuildnyc Facebook: Upbuild LinkedIn: Upbuild
What is one thing you are judgmental of others about? How is this also true about you? In what way does knowing it is true about you bring up shame?
Michael and Hari, building off of Michael’s piece, I Dislike in You What I Dislike in Me, explore how our judgments of other people are often a mirror for what we don’t like about ourselves. They look at how this hypocrisy disconnects us from other people, why we sometimes feel the need to knock others down, the role of envy, and how we can use judgments as opportunities for personal growth.
Links:www.upbuild.com
Instagram: @upbuildnyc Facebook: Upbuild LinkedIn: Upbuild
What is anger? Where does it come from? What can we do about it?
For many people, no matter how destructive anger can be, it’s all too easy to fall prey to its temptation. As a follow-up to The Seduction of Anger podcast, Michael and Rasanath explore the nuances of this emotion from fresh perspectives. They dive into their personal lives and give examples to break down why, even after having worked on their self-awareness for many years, anger still comes up. They explain the physical origins of anger, the different types of anger responses, the deeper emotions that are often underneath anger, and the dangers of living with unresolved anger. Rasanath closes by sharing how we can gain understanding even if we can’t get it from the person we wish we could receive it from.
Links:www.upbuild.com
Instagram: @upbuildnyc Facebook: Upbuild LinkedIn: Upbuild
Mary and Vipin dive into the topic of asking powerful questions, in coaching and everyday life. Through personal examples, they talk about what constitutes a powerful question, why it’s important to get curious, the value of being mindful about the things we are asking, how to create conscious relationships, and the impact of asking open-ended questions.
Links:www.upbuild.com
Instagram: @upbuildnyc Facebook: Upbuild LinkedIn: Upbuild
How do you peel an apple? How do you brush your teeth? How do you soap yourself in the shower? We all have a set of “rules for achieving an outcome” that underlie absolutely everything we do, and yet, we are rarely conscious of those rules. By bringing consciousness to our rules, we have the freedom to embrace them or change them in a way that will better serve us and the people in our lives. In this episode, Vipin, Michael, and Hari Prasada share their learnings from Dave Parke’s ”rules for achieving an outcome” framework, which has been instrumental in their coaching and for their own growth. They share personal examples of how they apply the framework and how the ego fits into the story. They give us actionable steps for how we can become more aware of our rules to better our relationships, follow through on our goals, and find more satisfaction in our lives.
Links:www.upbuild.com
Instagram: @upbuildnyc Facebook: Upbuild LinkedIn: Upbuild
Listening is a skill that is foundational to life and to relationships, which is also why it has become the foundational skill for the Upbuild Coaching Training program. In this episode, Mary, our new co-host who designed and helped launch the coaching training program, along with Vipin, explore the importance of listening and introduce us to the concept of the “four listening channels.” They give tips on how to become a better listener, what’s at stake if we don’t work on our listening skills, and how to use our innate curiosity to drive connection and help develop other people.
Links:www.upbuild.com
Instagram: @upbuildnyc Facebook: Upbuild LinkedIn: Upbuild
In order to be our best selves and get to the root of who we are, we need to take both an “outside-in” and “inside-out” approach. In this episode, Hari and Michael dive into Hari’s inspiration and key insights from his piece, The Two Sides of Working on Yourself. They explore how a superiority complex comes from the same place as an inferiority complex, the costs of working on the ego without working on the self (and vice-versa), and the challenges that we experience when working on each. Hari also shares four key steps in working on the ego and the critical practices to work on the self.
Links:www.upbuild.com
Instagram: @upbuildnyc Facebook: Upbuild LinkedIn: Upbuild
Do you work on problems that are comfortable to work on? Are you aware that your focus on these problems might be getting in the way of working on problems that will make a real difference in your life? Michael, Vipin, and Hari Prasada introduce us to safe vs. quality problems, a framework that was introduced to the Upbuild team ten years ago by a coach named Dave Parke and has become central to our work at Upbuild. The team shares how to differentiate safe from quality problems, examples from their personal and professional lives, and the key questions we need to ask ourselves in order to be our best selves.
Links:www.upbuild.com
Instagram: @upbuildnyc Facebook: Upbuild LinkedIn: Upbuild
What does it take to make the decision to live in a monastery and dedicate your life to service? What happens inside a monastery? What is the daily schedule? In this episode, Rasanath shares the intimate details of what it was like during his years as a monk in NYC. He gives insight into the challenges that came with relinquishing his identities, why he chose to give up everything to be fully committed to a life of service, what his daily schedule looked like, the experience of living with 20 other monks, and much more.
Links:www.upbuild.com
Instagram: @upbuildnyc Facebook: Upbuild LinkedIn: Upbuild
Have you ever thought, “There is a part of me that feels this way, and there is a part of me that feels that way.”? If so, you are already starting to do Parts Work, also called Internal Family Systems (IFS). In this episode, Vipin interviews Michael about Parts Work and the year-long course they recently completed with Guthrie Sayen. They share their takeaways and learnings from the course, how it has helped them further understand their inner worlds, and how they use it in their coaching practices. Michael also shares the intimate details about his relationship with Johnny Anger, one of his many parts that he catalogs in an excel sheet.
Links:www.upbuild.com
Instagram: @upbuildnyc Facebook: Upbuild LinkedIn: Upbuild
This is your damn life. What are you doing about it?
In this episode, Vipin and Hari Prasada break down what gets in the way of approaching life with the seriousness it deserves and the reasons why taking our lives seriously is imperative to reaching our full potential. They look at the topic through the lens of a coaching relationship, inspired by Vipin’s article by the same name. They also discuss how contemplating death can be a portal to true aliveness, why it’s beneficial to “expect miracles,” and actionable steps to help us take our lives more seriously and be our best selves.
Links:www.upbuild.com
Instagram: @upbuildnyc Facebook: Upbuild LinkedIn: Upbuild
Do you feel like you need something different than your present circumstances in order to feel happy and free? Maybe you just need a different job, to get that promotion, to move to a bigger place, or to get more time doing what you really love? Maybe once you get that, you’ll be able to enjoy life. In this episode, Hari Prasada and Michael introduce us to the idea of the freedom fantasy, a concept coined by Michael in his article by the same name. They explore the way we all go about searching for happiness and what it actually means to be free.
Links:www.upbuild.com
Instagram: @upbuildnyc Facebook: Upbuild LinkedIn: Upbuild
What is the difference between real humility and the projection of humility? Do you desire to be truly humble or do you desire what humility can give you? Michael and Rasanath break down the “The Paradox of Humility” and do a deep dive into what real humility looks like, what’s at stake if we don’t become humble, and the role that humiliation plays in helping us become humble.
Links:www.upbuild.com
Instagram: @upbuildnyc Facebook: Upbuild LinkedIn: Upbuild
The phrase “There I go again” is one of the most simple yet powerful framings that you can use to work on yourself and to help you become who you truly are. Michael, Hari Prasada, and Rasanath break down how they use this phrase by giving real-life examples and share how it can help you separate your real self from your ego. They discuss the paradox of acceptance, the reasons why we are never satisfied when we try to be someone that we are not, and how to balance being kind to ourselves without shirking responsibility.
Links:www.upbuild.com
Instagram: @upbuildnyc Facebook: Upbuild LinkedIn: Upbuild
Have you struggled to make a conversation productive because there is some tension in the relationship or because you feel triggered? Do you really want to give someone feedback but feel blocked in giving it to them? Michael, Rasanath, and Vipin break down one of the most important tools that they use in their personal lives and in their coaching work with clients: the meta-conversation. They share personal and organizational examples of how to use this tool to unblock frustrating relationships, help build environments of trust, and give feedback when giving feedback feels hard. They give tips and ideas on how to incorporate this tool in our everyday lives.
Links:www.upbuild.com
Instagram: @upbuildnyc Facebook: Upbuild LinkedIn: Upbuild
How do you define your self-worth? Why is it so naturally tied to what you produce? Using Sacinandana Swami’s provocative quote as a starting point, Vipin, Michael, and Rasanath share personal examples of how they fall into the trap of defining their value by what they produce. They discuss the true reason behind our longing for a sense of value, the trap/problem of defining our value by what we produce, the impact of doing that, and healthier alternatives to defining our value.
Links:www.upbuild.com
Instagram: @upbuildnyc Facebook: Upbuild LinkedIn: Upbuild
At Upbuild, we talk a lot about the difference between the ego and the self. But it can often feel like everything – our goals, motivations, achievements, aspirations, emotions, etc. – is part of the ego. So, what then is left? Vipin, Hari Prasada, and Rasanath disentangle the subtleties of the self and explain why the ego is the lens through which we experience our whole world. They unpack the connection between the ego and the truth, how we can use the ego to get rid of the ego, the paradox of progress, and what happens if we don’t “wake up” from the state of living as the ego.
Links:The Power of Addiction and The Addiction of Power: Gabor Maté at TEDxRio+20www.upbuild.com
Instagram: @upbuildnyc Facebook: Upbuild LinkedIn: Upbuild
Do you consider yourself someone who has difficult conversations with ease, or someone who fears them? What does it really mean to have a difficult conversation? What is the role of the heart and our emotions in having difficult conversations? Michael, Hari Prasada and Rasanath take inspiration from a CEO’s experience of needing to fire someone to look at how the ego prevents us from bringing our hearts to conversations, the difference between intentional and unconscious compartmentalization, and the risks (to ourselves and to others) of not bringing our hearts to conversations.
Links:www.upbuild.com
Instagram: @upbuildnyc Facebook: Upbuild LinkedIn: Upbuild
Do you donate money to charity so that you feel less guilty about your life, to receive praise, or to get a tax benefit? Should you try to get really rich and then give your money away in order to do the most good? Rasanath and Michael discuss the motivations behind our charitable giving and how to differentiate between egoic and pure motivations. They address what they do when they receive requests to donate to causes that they don’t feel strongly about, the power of thinking about charity as a state of mind rather than a specific act, and a definition of charity which is much broader than giving financial aid to those in need.
Links:www.upbuild.com
Instagram: @upbuildnyc Facebook: Upbuild LinkedIn: Upbuild
Have you ever wondered what really happens on bonus day at an investment bank? In this episode, Hari Prasada interviews Michael about his article, Goldman Sachs Bonus Day and the Entitled Ego, and his intense experiences around receiving a bonus during his time at Goldman. They discuss the posturing that went into bonus day, the flimsiness of using compensation as a measure of self-worth, the suffering that comes from not feeling enough, and the key question, “Who would I be if I lost my money, job title, and status?” They conclude by offering concrete ways to go beyond the insecurities of the ego to become less reliant on extrinsic measures of self-worth and more in touch with our real selves
Links:www.upbuild.com
Instagram: @upbuildnyc Facebook: Upbuild LinkedIn: Upbuild
Hari Prasada, Michael, and Rasanath discuss the three sources of introversion and share the different gifts of and challenges faced by introverts depending on where the introversion comes from. When we discover the reasons for our introversion, we have greater access to self-understanding and self-empathy. It allows us to live with greater intentionality and to stretch our borders without disrespecting them. The team also debunks the often unconsciously held view that extroverts are better than introverts.
Links:www.upbuild.com
Instagram: @upbuildnyc Facebook: Upbuild LinkedIn: Upbuild
Are you a person who changes your beliefs or behaviors in order to please others or to succeed? Do you think this is a positive characteristic? Vipin, Michael, and Rasanath break down what it means to be a chameleon and why many of us go through life feeling pleased with ourselves for being this way. They share real life examples of how they were chameleons in their younger years, how to tell the difference between adaptability and chameleonism, the costs of being chameleonic, and concrete ways to become more adaptable and less chameleonic.
Links:www.upbuild.com
Instagram: @upbuildnyc Facebook: Upbuild LinkedIn: Upbuild
Are you driven by inspiration or insecurity? For most of us, the answer will be some combination of both. But are you aware of the relative weight of each, and to what degree you project insecurity as inspiration? In this episode, Hari Prasada interviews Rasanath about his coining of the term, “Inspiration-Insecurity Continuum.” They discuss the dangers of avoiding our insecurities, how to discern real inspiration from insecurity, and how to use the framework to be our best selves.
Links:www.upbuild.com
Instagram: @upbuildnyc Facebook: Upbuild LinkedIn: Upbuild
How do you respond to the question, “How are you?” Do you answer honestly or reflexively? Do you even know what the honest answer is? In this episode, Hari Prasada interviews Michael about his article, “The Oldest Profession in the World.” They analyze the standard responses to the question, ‘How are you?’ and what our responses might be attempting to communicate on a deeper level. They discuss how our egos get in the way of authentic answers and offer alternative questions that get closer to the heart of the matter.
Links:www.upbuild.com Instagram: @upbuildnyc Facebook: Upbuild LinkedIn: Upbuild
Do you react to things other people say or do in a way you wish you could do over, even when you feel righteous in your response? What if you could control your reactions a bit more and choose your responses more intentionally? In this episode, Hari interviews Vipin about his article, "How to Create Space Between Stimulus And Response." They discuss an example from Vipin’s life when a part of him was carrying anger towards his son, how his beliefs about his son and himself led to the reaction, and the difference between the beliefs of the ego versus the beliefs of the self. They conclude by sharing the framework of the Emotional Traffic Light and how we can use it to help us achieve true freedom.
Links:www.upbuild.com
Instagram: @upbuildnyc
Facebook: Upbuild
LinkedIn: Upbuild
Why would anyone give up a life of wealth on Wall Street to become a monk? And why would anyone who would eventually become a monk be motivated to work on Wall Street in the first place? In this episode, Vipin interviews Rasanath about his journey from investment banker to monk and the key steps along the way that led to such a significant change in life and career. They examine the root cause of an existential crisis, the challenges inside and outside the monastery walls that he faced as he made the decision, and what it really means to have freedom. Rasanath closes the episode by offering a specific way to take the next step in finding your calling.
Links:www.upbuild.com
Instagram: @upbuildnyc
Facebook: Upbuild
LinkedIn: Upbuild
Do you find yourself getting agitated when someone posts flattering things about themselves on social media? Do you think (or talk) badly about the other person, feel badly about yourself, or find yourself not wanting to reach out to connect with that other person?
In this episode, Hari interviews Michael about his article, "Our Unilateral Contracts." Michael introduces us to a framework that gives insight into how we hold people accountable to agreements that they never actually agreed to. When these unilateral contracts are broken, we experience a feeling of betrayal and punish others and/or ourselves. He shares a number of examples from his own life, including one he has with his wife about doing the dishes and another with the TSA about getting searched at airport security. Hari and Michael examine how we can use this framework to have better relationships, become less reactive, and ultimately act from the deepest part of who we are, rather than from the ego.
Links:www.upbuild.com
Instagram: @upbuildnyc
Facebook: Upbuild
LinkedIn: Upbuild
Most of us are wearing masks all the time. We are wearing ego masks that cover who we are so we can prove that we are worthy, that we are enough, and that we have a place in this world. Although these masks help protect us and help us garner appreciation, they also keep us locked up in a prison. They obstruct our satisfaction with life and prevent us from being truly connected with ourselves and with one another. In this episode of Upbuilding the Self, Rasanath interviews Hari Prasada about his inspiration for his article, “A World Without Masks.” Hari Prasada shares the definition of an ego mask, how suffering is created when we wear our masks, and the most important step we can take to start removing our masks in order to live a life with more freedom and connection.
Links:www.upbuild.com
Instagram: @upbuildnyc
Facebook: Upbuild
LinkedIn: Upbuild
Shame is a hard emotion to talk about because we feel shame about having shame. Rasanath and Michael break down this complex emotion by unpacking an experience of shame that Michael experienced brought on by a feeling of not being productive enough. They examine the root causes of shame, the problems that arise when we feel shame, and what it will take to reconnect with our hearts so that we can work through our shame in a healthy manner. They also look at the driving force behind ambition and how to know if ambition is being used as a coping mechanism for shame.
Links:www.upbuild.com
Instagram: @upbuildnyc
Facebook: Upbuild
LinkedIn: Upbuild
Who do you envy? And how does it serve you?
Envy is a universal emotion. It can lead us to feel ashamed, disconnected from others and ourselves, and sometimes even to wish ill for others. However, for many of us, it’s not clear we would want to rid ourselves of envy because we fear we might lose our “drive.” Rasanath, Michael, and Vipin examine the root causes of envy and debate the question: When we lose our envy, do we lose our drive? They reveal three antidotes to envy, what role the ego plays, and what’s at stake if we don’t create a healthier relationship with our envy.
Links:www.upbuild.com
Instagram: @upbuildnyc
Facebook: Upbuild
LinkedIn: Upbuild
In order to “overcome” imposter syndrome, most self help books teach us that we should just believe that we can be anything that we think we should be. While a positive mindset and confidence can be beneficial, with this way of thinking, our egos are still in control as they drive us on never ending quests for more validation and achievement. In this episode, the Upbuild team takes a deep dive into the complexities and drivers of imposter syndrome, differentiating the ego from the true self. They discuss a real life example of imposter syndrome, how imposter syndrome can be unhealthy when it gets refracted through the ego, and how imposter syndrome can be healthy when it gives us access to humility and to our real selves.
Links:www.upbuild.com
Instagram: @upbuildnyc
Facebook: Upbuild
LinkedIn: Upbuild
Anger is like a temptress, seducing us with promises of control and justice. And yet, for the vast majority of us, how we deal with our anger almost always leaves us further from our goals and creates collateral damage in the process. In this episode, Michael and Rasanath discuss the complexities of anger and how to channel it in a healthy way. They unpack why anger is often the default response of our egos, how anger is a symptom of an unmet need that we expect to be fulfilled, the self-righteousness that can be attached to anger, the shame we may feel when someone breaks our trust, and how we can productively experience our anger while still holding people accountable.
Links:www.upbuild.com
Instagram: @upbuildnyc
Facebook: Upbuild
LinkedIn: Upbuild
Why is it that our successes and failures have such a strong influence on how we feel about ourselves? The Upbuild team discusses the link between self-worth and the number on our paychecks, how we draw the line between healthy and unhealthy validation, and the limitations of chasing self-worth as a motivator. By getting clear on the difference between the ego and the true self, the team reveals how we can detangle the link between self-worth and achievement, which gives us access to the freedom we are all craving.
Links:www.upbuild.com
Instagram: @upbuildnyc
Facebook: Upbuild
LinkedIn: Upbuild
Most of us think we are self-aware. But what does it actually mean to be self-aware? And why is it that people who think they are self-aware are usually the opposite? The Upbuild team unpacks this paradox of self-awareness and the challenges that we face in becoming self-aware. The team also discusses why having real self-awareness brings up shame, why we often respond to feedback with the phrase, "I am aware of that," and how our egos get in the way of "true self" awareness.
Links:www.upbuild.com
Instagram: @upbuildnyc
Facebook: Upbuild
LinkedIn: Upbuild
Join two former monks, a former startup founder/CEO, and a former equity derivatives trader as they journey into how we can become free from our egos - the identities of who we think we should be - in order to become who we really are. This podcast will help you understand your ego and the unconscious motivations, insecurities and emotions that affect your every action and relationship. Links:www.upbuild.com
Instagram: @upbuildnyc
Facebook: Upbuild
LinkedIn: Upbuild