Why Didn’t They Tell Us?: Recent Episodes
lesliethelifecoach
New podcast weblogLeslie Randolph is a self-confidence coach for teenage girls and the self-confidence coach you wish you had as a teen. In fact, she’s the self-confidence coach she wishes SHE had as a teen because she knows she could’ve avoided a whole lotta heartache, if only she knew the secrets she shares in “Why Didn’t They Tell Us?”
Leslie didn’t know she could love her body at any size. No one told her that self-confidence was a choice she could choose to make (and one she was worthy of choosing). She didn’t know self-love and self-compassion were more motivating than emotionally beating herself up every time she missed the mark on achieving a goal. No one told her that guilt was an optional emotion, even for “nice Jewish girls” like her.
From tips for cultivating self-confidence and combatting imposter syndrome to learning strategies for self-love and silencing negative self-talk, “Why Didn’t Tell Us?” is a gift of love and wisdom for the insecure teenage girl that still exists in all of us.
High achievers often look confident from the outside while quietly running on fear, urgency, and the belief that their worth depends on never slipping up.
Leslie Randolph is joined by Pooja Venkatraman, an executive coach, former management consultant, and self-described recovered stressed-out high achiever, to unpack a pattern many confident teens and confident women recognize but rarely question. Self-confidence becomes conditional. Perform well and it feels intact. Miss the mark and it starts to wobble. Grades, praise, titles, and approval quietly become proof of worth rather than outcomes of effort. Pooja explains why high-achievers often operate in fight-or-flight mode, where overworking, procrastination, freezing, and perfectionism make sense when the brain believes mistakes threaten belonging or value. These beliefs often form early and follow confident teens into adulthood, shaping confident women at work and at home.
The conversation offers a healthier framework for achievement and self-confidence rooted in flow rather than fear. Flow supports focused effort without panic, rest without guilt, and decisions without self-punishment. Instead of chasing confidence through constant performance, listeners are invited to rethink where self-confidence really comes from. What would change if it were a skill you could return to again and again, rather than something you had to earn through relentless achievement?
Episode Breakdown:
00:00 Why High Achievers Struggle With Self-Confidence
08:15 Fight or Flight and the Hidden Cost of Perfectionism
15:10 Flow vs. Fear-Based Achievement
20:42 Why External Validation Never Creates Lasting Confidence
25:21 Mission-Driven Success Without Burnout
32:38 Shifting Out of Fight or Flight as a High Achiever
Connect with Pooja Venkatraman:
Learn More About Pooja's Work
Connect with Pooja on IG
Follow Pooja on LinkedIn
Connect With Leslie:
Help Your Teen Cultivate Confidence
Website
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
Self-confidence is built in the moments no one applauds, the awkward missteps and quiet choices that shape how girls learn to trust themselves long before anyone is watching.
Leslie Randolph sits down with journalist and author Rin-rin Yu for a grounded conversation about where confidence actually comes from and why the ordinary moments of childhood matter more than the polished highlights. Drawing from Rin-rin’s debut novel Goodbye French Fry, they talk about bullying, belonging, embarrassment, and the internal shift that happens when a girl realizes she can handle hard things. What changes when confidence grows from self-trust instead of approval? How do everyday experiences quietly shape a girl’s sense of who she is?
The conversation also explores identity, representation, and the pressure to fit in during the tween years. Rin-rin reflects on growing up without seeing herself in books and why normal stories deserve just as much space as extraordinary ones. Leslie connects these ideas to her work with teens and parents, offering a clear reminder that confidence is learned through experience, reflection, and support rather than perfection.
This episode invites parents to slow down and notice the small wins that rarely make headlines. What moments are shaping your daughter right now? And how might honoring the ordinary help her build confidence that lasts?
Episode Breakdown:
00:00 Why Self-Confidence Is a Skill Teen Girls Can Learn
03:05 Goodbye French Fry and the Ordinary Moments That Build Self-Confidence
04:39 Why Representation in Books Shapes Identity, Self-Worth, and Belonging
07:56 Bullying and Self-Confidence: Standing Up for Yourself at Age 10
12:35 Embarrassment, Mistakes, and Resilience as Core Confidence Skills
14:54 Cultural Identity and Name Mispronunciation: Helping Kids Feel They Belong
21:55 Journaling and Daily Reflection as a Confidence-Building Practice
30:56 Curiosity vs Mockery: Teaching Kids to Respect Differences
38:49 Perfection Pressure and Self-Forgiveness in a High-Achievement World
Connect with Rin-rin Yu:
Website
Connect With Leslie:
Help Your Teen Cultivate Confidence
Website
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
Self-confidence is not a personality trait you either have or lack but a skill you can choose to build and strengthen starting right now.
This conversation reframes self-confidence as something you practice through daily choices rather than something reserved for confident women or naturally confident teens. Leslie Randolph invites listeners to see confidence as a skill built with intention through how you speak to yourself, how you follow through and how you respond when discomfort shows up. The message is practical and grounded with reassurance that becoming more self-confident is possible at any stage of life.
Listeners are guided to consider what a truly confident year would look like in real terms. What decisions might change if self-confidence led the way? What would you stop tolerating? What would you try if fear did not get the final vote? Leslie breaks confidence into three core foundations: thinking highly of yourself, building self-trust and allowing uncomfortable emotions without letting them control your actions.
This episode speaks directly to moms of teens as well as the teens themselves with a reminder that confidence is learned through modeling and repetition. When adults practice self-confidence out loud young people learn how to do the same. The takeaway is clear and empowering. Self-confidence grows when you keep promises to yourself, trust your inner voice and take action even when doubt is present.
Episode Breakdown:
00:00 What Self-Confidence Really Is and Why It Matters
09:57 The Three Foundations of Self-Confidence
14:51 How to Build Self-Confidence Through Intentional Goals
20:14 Choosing Confidence and Taking Courageous Action
Connect With Leslie:
Help Your Teen Cultivate Confidence
Website
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
Raising confident girls starts with how moms regulate emotions, make decisions under pressure and talk to themselves when parenting gets hard.
This year-end episode reflects on self-confidence through the lens of motherhood, offering insight for raising self-confident girls who grow into confident teens and confident women. Drawing from conversations with Dr. Lisa Klein, Nina Badzin, Abby Gagerman, Emily Gordon, Heather Redisch, and Simone Knego, these moments stayed with me long after the mic turned off because they speak to what actually shapes confidence in real life, especially during the emotionally charged seasons of raising teens.
Again and again, the conversation returns to the same truth. Kids are still figuring themselves out emotionally and neurologically, which makes the intensity make sense even when it feels overwhelming. Belonging matters, but tying worth to approval creates fragile self-confidence. Painful moments do not need to be erased to be survivable. When we lead with regulation, patience, and repair, we give our kids something far sturdier than quick solutions.
The lens also turns inward. What happens when we release the pressure to make the perfect call every time? How does parenting shift when self-trust replaces second-guessing? The way we speak to ourselves quietly teaches our children how to respond to their own doubt, disappointment, and discomfort.
As the year comes to a close, this episode offers a steadier way to think about self-confidence. Not something to manufacture or guard, but something practiced daily through presence, perspective, and self-respect.
Episode Breakdown:
00:00 Reflections on 2025: Lessons and Growth
02:26 Understanding Tween and Teen Development
06:38 The Importance of Friendships and Community
13:51 Navigating Social Struggles and Emotional Resilience
19:40 Deciding When to Let Kids Quit
25:59 Building Real-World Skills for Independence
30:14 Practicing Self-Confidence Daily
Connect With Leslie:
Help Your Teen Cultivate Confidence
Website
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
What if the loudest voice shaping your confidence has never belonged to “them” at all but to the stories you’ve been telling yourself about their opinions?
This throwback episode takes a fresh look at validation and why so many of us treat other people’s opinions as the final verdict on our worth. Leslie Randolph breaks down how this instinct forms, why it feels so compelling, and how it quietly chips away at self-confidence when we rely on external cues to decide who we can be. She invites you to question the idea of “everyone” watching or judging and to notice how often those fears come from your own inner dialogue rather than real people with real thoughts. What shifts if you stop assuming the worst? What new moves become possible when your own approval matters more than imagined commentary from the sidelines?
This episode offers a practical path back to self-confidence through stronger self-trust. Confidence expands when you give yourself the validation you keep seeking elsewhere and take action anyway—whether that means pitching the idea, wearing the loud dress, trying something new, or choosing a path that feels true to you. It’s a reminder that the most powerful relationship you build is the one you build with yourself.
Episode Breakdown:
00:00 The Core Idea of Self-Confidence
06:09 How Others’ Opinions Shape Confidence
09:06 Why We’re Wired to Seek Validation
15:09 Caring About Opinions Without Losing Yourself
17:52 Identifying Who “They” Really Are
20:46 How to Challenge Assumed Judgments
23:56 Strengthening Self-Trust and Personal Confidence
Connect With Leslie:
Help Your Teen Cultivate Confidence
Website
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
Positivity turns out to be less of a lucky personality trait and more of a skill you can shape with intention.
At the center of this conversation is a simple idea: confidence grows when you learn to guide your attention instead of letting your brain run on autopilot. Leslie Randolph explains why teens often slip into negative thinking and why women who want stronger self-confidence feel the same pull. The mind naturally scans for what feels hard, yet the ability to shift toward positivity is always available once you understand that this habit can be trained.
From there, Leslie highlights the practices that make optimism feel real rather than forced. Catching yourself in a spiral, pausing long enough to ask a better question, and using gratitude as a grounding tool help confident teens and confident women build a steadier inner voice. Even small changes in daily conversation, like naming what went well, create a mindset that notices good moments with more clarity. The heart of her message is simple: positivity becomes a powerful part of your life when you choose it with intention, and that choice strengthens self-confidence in ways that last.
Episode Breakdown:
00:00 The Quest for Positivity
03:45 Genetics vs. Choice: Understanding Positivity
09:29 Shifting Perspectives Through Mindfulness
15:13 Building a Daily Habit of Positivity
19:11 Positivity and Reality: Finding the Balance
Connect with Leslie Randolph:
Help your teen cultivate confidence!
Visit Leslie’s website
Follow Leslie on Instagram
Follow Leslie on Facebook
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
Mindfulness stops being a buzzword when kids learn to use it in real time to calm their bodies, name their feelings, and stay connected to their breath when life gets loud.
Leslie sits down with Julie Freeman, Executive Director of KNOWTICE, to talk about how mindfulness for kids can shape the kind of self-awareness that leads to genuine self-confidence. Julie shares how small, repeatable moments, like pausing to notice a feeling or grounding the body before reacting, help children manage stress, stay present, and access their best thinking. When mindfulness starts early, kids learn they have control over their reactions, which builds emotional strength that grows with them through adolescence and adulthood.
The conversation goes beyond quiet moments and breathing exercises to reveal how these early lessons create confident teens who trust themselves and understand their emotions. Leslie and Julie also reflect on how this work ripples forward into adulthood, showing up in the way confident women lead, parent, and care for themselves. By teaching kids mindfulness now, we give them tools to feel steady in uncertainty and connected to who they are - a foundation every confident person stands on.
Episode Breakdown:
00:00 Why Mindfulness Matters Now
05:28 KNOWTICE Origin Story and Julie Freeman’s Path
11:32 Why Start Early Mindfulness for Kids and Brain Development
16:54 Classroom Basics Mindful Body Stillness and Calming Techniques
22:23 Mindful Parenting and Raising Confident Teens
31:24 The 90-Second Rule and Managing Anxiety in Real Time
43:17 From Mindful Kids to Confident Women
45:42 How to Bring KNOWTICE to Your School
Connect with Julie Freeman:
Learn More About KNOWTICE
Connect with Leslie Randolph:
Help your teen cultivate confidence!
Visit Leslie’s website
Follow Leslie on Instagram
Follow Leslie on Facebook
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
Confidence isn’t a personality trait you’re born with but a daily choice you make in the smallest moments.
Self-confidence doesn’t always show up with fireworks. Sometimes it starts as a mindset shift so small no one else can hear it, a quiet decision to replace old self-talk with something kinder. Leslie Randolph sits down with Simone Knego to redefine what it really means to become confident women and raise confident teens, not through perfection or performance but through daily honesty and courage.
Simone’s REAL framework (Respect yourself, Embrace failures, Ask for what you want, Live without limits) turns self-confidence into something you can build like a muscle. She shares stories from motherhood, adventure, and loss that reveal how mindset isn’t just what you think, but how you recover, reset, and speak to yourself when things get hard.
If your inner voice became a loudspeaker, would it motivate you or tear you down? Whether you’re working on your own self-confidence or trying to model it for someone watching, this episode is a reminder that confident women aren’t born - they’re built one thought, one ask, one brave moment at a time.
Episode Breakdown
00:00 Why Self-Confidence Matters for Women and Teens
02:23 Simone Knego’s REAL Method for Building Confidence
07:45 How Self-Talk Shapes Your Mindset
09:02 Modeling Confidence for Children and Confident Teens
15:05 Climbing Kilimanjaro to Overcome Fear
20:08 Asking for Help and Breaking People-Pleasing Habits
26:39 Control-Alt-Delete Mindset Reset
32:06 Moving Forward After Setbacks and Self-Doubt
37:01 Daily Confidence Practices: Affirmations and Gratitude
Connect With Simone Knego:
Visit Simone’s website
Connect With Leslie Randolph:
Help your teen cultivate confidence!
Visit Leslie’s website
Follow Leslie on Instagram
Follow Leslie on Facebook
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
We’ve all been there: standing at the crossroads of a parenting decision and wondering, am I making the wrong call? For many of us, the idea of letting our kids quit an activity feels like giving in—or worse, failing them. But what if the word “quit” is the problem in the first place?
In this episode, Leslie Randolph sits down with psychologist Dr. Emily Gordon to reframe what’s really going on when kids want out of something. Together, they swap “quitting” for a new lens: detours, decisions, and opportunities to choose differently. The conversation is equal parts practical and freeing, with guiding questions parents can ask themselves and their kids to figure out whether an activity is helping or hurting, whether resistance is about the activity itself or just the transition into it, and how to know when it’s time to stay the course, or turn down a new road.
They also talk about the deeper goal behind these decisions: raising confident teens who know how to check in with themselves, build resilience, and trust their own judgment. From family values to tween autonomy to the lifelong practice of self-confidence, this episode shows how even small parenting choices can strengthen the foundation for confident women in the future.
The takeaway? There’s no universal “right” answer. There’s only the right decision for you and your family, right now.
Episode Breakdown:
00:00 Letting Kids Quit: Why It Feels So Hard
03:02 Meet Dr. Emily Gordon
05:03 Reframing Quitting as Taking a Detour
07:18 A Framework for Making Parenting Decisions
12:07 Parental Pressure, Fear, and Self-Confidence
14:22 How to Help Adolescents Name Their Feelings
17:09 Anxiety, Transitions, and Building Resilience
20:03 Balancing Parental Control and Tween Autonomy
29:07 Weighing Benefits, Costs, and Family Values
31:08 Protecting the Parent-Child Relationship
34:48 Confidence, Resilience, and Growth
Connect with Dr. Emily Gordon:
Website
Connect With Leslie:
Help Your Teen Cultivate Confidence
Website
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
We all crave comfort. But the truth is, self-confidence isn’t built in comfort zones, it’s built in the moments when we’re willing to be uncomfortable.
Leslie Randolph introduces the idea of deliberate discomfort and why it’s the key to both confident teens and confident women. Drawing from her own life and her coaching work, Leslie unpacks how stretching beyond what feels easy builds the emotional resilience we need to face challenges, pursue big goals, and show up with confidence in everyday life.
What if nothing changes because nothing changes? What if growth, joy, and genuine self-confidence all live on the other side of discomfort? Whether you’re raising a teen girl or navigating your own season of change, this episode will remind you that confidence isn’t about avoiding fear or struggle, it’s about the willingness to walk through it.
Episode Breakdown:
00:00 Why Comfort Zones Don’t Build Confidence
03:17 How Health Challenges Sparked a Wake-Up Call
05:56 Resistance to Change and Why It Feels So Hard
09:00 What Deliberate Discomfort Really Means
12:24 How Discomfort Builds Emotional Resilience
14:00 Everyday Examples of Practicing Discomfort
18:02 Asking for Help as a Confidence Skill
20:54 Strength, Growth, and True Self-Confidence
Links
The Tween Empowerment Summit
Connect With Leslie:
Help Your Teen Cultivate Confidence
Website
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
Some days feel heavier than others. Whether it’s a personal heartbreak or a tragedy in the news, the weight of the world can be a lot to carry. And if you’re someone who feels deeply, it’s not always clear how to keep moving forward.
In this episode, Leslie Randolph offers a thoughtful perspective on what it means to live with sadness, anger, and grief without letting them take over. She shares how self-confidence plays a role even in the hardest moments, not as a way to power through or shut emotions down, but as the quiet willingness to feel it all. What if confidence isn’t about being fearless or upbeat, but about staying present when things are messy? What happens when we let go of the idea that we’re supposed to be happy all the time?
Leslie invites us to stop “shoulding” ourselves into silence or shame. There’s no timeline for healing and no perfect way to process pain. Whether you’re a teenager building confidence for the first time or a grown woman learning how to trust yourself again, this episode will meet you where you are with compassion, clarity, and a few tools to help you keep going.
Episode Breakdown:
00:00 Why We Need Tools for the Hard Days
01:17 Accepting That Sadness Is Part of Life
03:03 Why Asking “Why” Doesn’t Always Help
05:12 You Have to Feel It to Heal It
06:48 The Pressure to Be Happy All the Time
08:12 Confidence Means Feeling the Hard Stuff Too
10:04 Avoiding Discomfort Isn’t the Same as Staying Safe
11:28 Compassion Over Comparison During Grief
13:18 How to Stay Connected When Everything Feels Heavy
14:56 Big Feelings Don’t Last Forever Even When It Feels Like They Might
Connect With Leslie:
Help Your Teen Cultivate Confidence
Website
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
At every age and stage, we long to belong. But too often, that desire comes at the cost of abandoning parts of ourselves. True friendship isn’t about fitting in - it’s about finding your people: the ones you like, and the ones you feel good being around.
Leslie Randolph is joined by friendship expert and advice columnist Nina Badzin for a conversation about friendship and friend groups, especially during the tween and teen years. But the truths they explore reach well beyond middle school. How do we recognize a real friend versus someone we’re just trying to impress? Why do so many of us stay in groups that drain us? And how can we help kids build friendships that reflect who they are, not who they think they’re supposed to be?
Nina shares what she’s learned from years of listening to people wrestle with connection, exclusion, and the pressure to belong. Together, Leslie and Nine unpack the difference between fitting in and finding true friendship, the quiet harm of chasing the “right” group, and the role adults play, often unintentionally, in keeping those patterns alive. They also talk about the value of community and how spaces like family dinners, extracurriculars, and youth groups can offer kids a sense of belonging that isn’t dependent on social status.
This episode is a gentle reminder that strong friendships aren’t built on proximity or history alone. They’re built on trust, emotional safety, and mutual effort. And that’s true at any age.
Episode Breakdown:
00:00 Friendship and Confidence
03:04 Meet Nina Badzin: Friendship Columnist and Expert
05:00 The Myth of the Perfect Friend Group
08:09 Fitting In vs. Authentic Friendship
11:12 How Parents Shape Social Pressure
15:04 What Makes a Friendship Real
20:10 Trust, Safety, and Showing Up as Yourself
24:05 Building Social Confidence Through Multiple Buckets
28:02 Where to Find Belonging Beyond School
30:12 Friendship vs. Community: Why Both Matter
38:09 Practical Advice for Building Real Friendships
41:00 Letting Go and Moving On with Openness
Connect with Nina Badzin:
See Nina in Highland Park
Listen to Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship
Subscribe to the Dear Nina newsletter
Join the Facebook Group
Follow on IG
Connect With Leslie:
Help Your Teen Cultivate Confidence
Website
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
Heading to summer camp? Confidence is the most important thing you can pack. Leslie Randolph speaks directly to girls (and their moms) navigating the nerves that come with starting something new, whether it’s sleepaway camp or a big life transition. Some girls are counting down the days with excitement. Others feel anxious, unsure, or like they’re heading off against their will. All of that is normal, Leslie says, and it’s exactly why building self-confidence matters.
Leslie breaks down how self-confidence isn’t about having zero fear. It’s about moving forward with the fear and choosing how you want to show up anyway. She offers mindset shifts to help girls challenge worst-case-scenario thinking and reframe those “what if” worries. Confidence starts by recognizing that you can’t control who likes you, but you can decide how you show up, how you treat others, and what kind of camper you want to be.
From embracing your interests (even if no one else is into archery!) to staying open to new friendships and new experiences, this episode is a permission slip to be yourself bravely, and without apology. Whether your daughter’s headed to camp, starting high school, or trying something new for the first time, Leslie offers a confidence care package for the road ahead!
Episode Breakdown:
00:00 Welcome to Why Didn’t They Tell Us
01:49 Why Camp Brings Up Big Feelings
03:45 How to Normalize Nerves and Build Confidence
05:01 Stop the Spiral: Rethinking Worst-Case Thinking
08:12 Confidence Starts with Knowing Yourself
13:24 Be Open to New Things (Even If You’re Bad at First)
15:12 Confidence Is a Skill, Not a Trait
Connect With Leslie:
Help Your Teen Cultivate Confidence
Website
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
Most people wait for a crisis to start living with intention. This episode is your invitation to stop waiting.
After attending a funeral for someone who lived with “no wasted days,” Leslie Randolph reflects on how easily moms can slip into autopilot – checking boxes, managing schedules, and losing sight of their own joy. She shares how the loss of her father during the height of COVID became a turning point, waking her up to the difference between managing life and actually living it.
This episode is a call to trade burnout and disconnection for intentional living. Leslie walks listeners through the first, often overlooked step: self-awareness. She offers strategies to help moms get honest about how they’re feeling, notice what they need, and take small but powerful actions toward a more fulfilling life.
From setting boundaries to rediscovering joy in the everyday, Leslie offers a roadmap for moms who are ready to stop going through the motions and start showing up on purpose for themselves and the people they love.
Episode Breakdown:
00:00 Living with Intention vs. Autopilot
02:10 Personal Wake-Up Call After Loss
06:58 How Moms Can Start Living More Intentionally
09:51 Responding to Your Needs with Small, Powerful Shifts
12:02 Why Awareness Without Action Doesn’t Work
14:54 Building a Life of Connection and Purpose
Connect With Leslie:
The Summer of Self-Love
Help Your Teen Cultivate Confidence
Website
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
Your daughter’s self-confidence starts with yours because she’s watching more than she’s listening.
If you’re a mom raising teens, especially confident girls, in a world that constantly tells them they’re not enough, I recorded this episode for you. I want to help you see how your words, your actions, and even the way you talk to yourself can shape how your daughter sees herself.
I share what I’ve learned through coaching, parenting, and plenty of personal trial and error. I talk about what it means to go first, to take risks, to feel big feelings, and to let your daughter see all of it. Because what if your willingness to feel fear, embarrassment, or disappointment is exactly what helps her feel brave?
I walk through some of my favorite tools, like how to change the conversation around family photos, how to celebrate your strengths out loud, and how to sit with your daughter’s feelings without jumping in to fix them. I also explain the “powerful pause,” and how it’s helped me regulate my own emotions and model something better in tough moments.
If you’ve ever wondered how to help your daughter grow into a confident, self-assured young woman without pushing or preaching, I hope this episode gives you both the reassurance and the tools to do just that.
Episode Breakdown:
00:00 Why Moms Matter
01:16 What Teens Are Facing Today
03:04 Why Self-Confidence Starts With You
05:11 Modeling Risk-Taking and Emotional Honesty
06:48 Sharing Big Feelings With Your Kids
10:10 Practicing Positive Self-Talk Out Loud
11:13 Rethinking Body Image and Family Photos
13:35 Helping Teens Feel Without Fixing
17:00 The “Vent or Advice” Question
19:08 The Power of the Pause
21:16 Boosting Your Confidence While Raising Theirs
Links:
The Summer of Self-Love
Connect With Leslie:
Help Your Teen Cultivate Confidence
Website
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
When my calendar’s overflowing and I still feel like I’m coming up short, I know it’s time to take a hard look at what self-care actually means in my life. And if you’re a mom who’s feeling burned out, even when you love the people and work you’ve said yes to, you’re not alone.
In this episode, I’m joined by Whitney Baker, the founder of Electric Ideas and a self-connection coach who helps women step out of autopilot and reconnect with themselves. Whitney and I get honest about the messy middle, how hard it is to say no, how burnout sneaks in even when you're living your dream, and why taking care of yourself doesn’t have to mean a total life overhaul.
Whitney shares her journey from creative agency burnout to building a life that actually lights her up. She walks us through tools like energy audits, morning routines, and “right after work” rituals that help her stay grounded and present. These aren’t big, sweeping changes. They’re small, intentional shifts that create real impact.
If you’ve ever felt guilty for needing a break or confused about why you’re still tired after making all the “right” choices, I think you’ll really connect with this conversation. Because here’s the truth: self-care isn’t a luxury. For moms like us, it’s the only way to keep showing up fully, joyfully, and without resentment.
Episode Breakdown:
00:00 Balance, Burnout, and a Coach’s Confession
02:00 Meet Whitney Baker of Electric Ideas
03:35 What Is an “Electric Idea”?
05:16 Reigniting Your Spark After Burnout
09:16 The Power of Saying No
11:06 Setting Boundaries That Actually Work
13:34 Creating Buffer Time and “Right After Work” Rituals
22:32 Identity Shifts and Letting Go of Old Labels
25:03 Energy Audits and Real-Life Self-Care
30:09 Morning Routines That Support You
34:17 Why Self-Care Isn’t Optional
39:08 Permission to Be Imperfect
Connect with Whitney Baker:
Learn: https://myelectricideas.com/
Like: https://www.instagram.com/whitneywoman/?hl=en
Listen: https://myelectricideas.com/podcast/
Connect With Leslie:
Help Your Teen Cultivate Confidence
Website
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
Self-confidence isn’t something you wait to earn. It’s a choice you make before there’s any proof you’ll succeed. But I know that choice isn’t always easy.
I used to believe confidence came from accomplishments, but I’ve learned that self-confidence is different. It’s believing in yourself even when you have no evidence to back it up. That belief fuels every risk you take, every dream you chase, and every time you show up for yourself.
If you’ve ever thought, “I’ll feel confident when…” I want you to challenge that. Self-confidence isn’t built on achievements or outside approval. It’s an inside job. In this episode, I’ll show you how to stop waiting and start believing, because confident teens and confident women don’t wait for permission to trust themselves.
Episode Breakdown:
00:00 Introduction
02:55 Definition of Self-Confidence
03:17 What Self-Confidence is Not
03:50 Difference Between Confidence and Self-Confidence
06:00 Self-Confidence and Goal Achievement
06:34 Self-Confidence vs. Arrogance
07:40 Self-Confidence and External Validation
09:05 The “As Soon As” and “Not Enough” Mentality
10:31 Prerequisites for Self-Confidence
Connect With Leslie:
Help Your Teen Cultivate Confidence
Website
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
Adulting isn’t something they teach in school, but Heather Redisch is here to help college graduates figure it out.
I see it all the time—young professionals landing their first jobs and feeling completely unprepared. Why does the transition from school to career feel so overwhelming? Heather Redisch, founder of The Talent Maven and creator of the Adulting 101 Masterclass, has spent nearly 25 years in recruiting and has noticed a shift. College graduates today struggle with confidence, communication, and the realities of professional life in ways previous generations didn’t. The rise of smartphones, helicopter parenting, and the impact of COVID-19 have all played a role, leaving many feeling unsure of how to step into the working world.
In this episode, Heather and I dig into what’s missing and what young professionals can do to set themselves up for success. We talk about work ethic, resilience, and the small, uncomfortable steps that build confidence over time. We also get into the generational disconnect in the workplace, why older employees misinterpret the behaviors of younger colleagues and how both sides can bridge that gap.
Success isn’t about having it all figured out on day one. It’s about learning, adapting, and taking action. Heather’s Adulting 101 Masterclass gives college graduates the tools and support they need to step into their careers with confidence.
Episode Breakdown:
00:00 Introduction
05:09 Challenges of Transitioning to Adulthood
07:07 The Anxious Generation and Technology
08:02 Helicopter Parenting and Its Effects
10:05 The Role of Confidence in Adulting
11:00 Communication Skills in the Digital Age
13:01 Generational Differences in the Workplace
15:04 Building Resilience and Facing Awkwardness
16:04 Being Comfortable with Uncomfortable
17:09 Misconceptions About Gen Z
18:08 Bridging the Generational Gap
20:22 Skills Can Be Learned: Etiquette and Resilience
21:14 The Role of Mental Health in the Workplace
22:07 Balancing Entitlement and Responsibility
23:08 The Reality of First Jobs
24:06 The Importance of Foundational Skills
26:04 Career Paths Are Not Linear
27:04 Valuable Skills for Graduates
29:10 Practical Tips for Building Confidence
31:10 The Importance of Proactivity
32:28 The Role of Feedback in Growth
33:10 Celebrating Small Wins
34:11 Accepting and Learning from Feedback
35:15 Closing
Connect with Heather Redisch:
Learn More About Adulting 101
Adulting 101 on Instagram
Follow Adulting 101 on Facebook
Connect with Heather on LinkedIn
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Help Your Teen Cultivate Confidence
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Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
Self-love isn’t about spa days or self-indulgence. It’s about the way you speak to yourself, the choices you make, and the belief that you are already worthy.
As a self-confidence coach for teenage girls, I’ve seen how the relationship we have with ourselves influences every part of life. But if self-love is so important, why does it feel so hard? Why does doubt always seem louder? I get it. I’ve been there. That’s why I want to break it down for you. Self-love isn’t a fleeting feeling. It’s a quiet, steady presence that takes effort to recognize and strengthen.
Confidence doesn’t come from achievement. It starts with self-acceptance. What if the voice in your head spoke to you with kindness instead of criticism? What if you believed you were worthy without changing a thing? In this episode, I’ll share how you can shift your mindset, build a habit of self-love, and start treating yourself with the same compassion you give to others. The way you love yourself sets the tone for everything else in life.
Episode Breakdown:
00:00 Introduction
01:05 Self-Love Beyond Valentine’s Day
03:22 Self-Love as a Pillar of Confidence
03:34 Definition of Self-Confidence
04:06 Challenges of Learning Self-Love
05:01 Self-Love vs. Bubble Baths and Massages
05:11 Lessons in Self-Love
06:18 Accepting and Embracing Yourself
07:02 Subtlety of Self-Love
08:07 Self-Love vs. Self-Doubt
09:12 Choosing to Listen to Self-Love
10:04 Fear, Anxiety, and Doubt
11:00 Self-Love as a Choice
12:05 Self-Love and Societal Messages
12:58 Self-Love is Not Weak
14:45 Intention in Self-Love
16:11 Final Thoughts
Connect With Leslie:
Help Your Teen Cultivate Confidence
Website
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
Most parents dread “the talk,” but raising confident, informed teens is less about one big conversation and more about a series of open, shame-free discussions.
Dr. Lisa Klein, pediatrician and co-founder of Turning Teen, joins Leslie Randolph to break down what kids really need when it comes to talking about puberty. Is there a right time to start? How do you make it less awkward? What happens if you feel totally unprepared? Dr. Klein shares practical ways to approach these conversations early and often, making sure tweens get accurate, age-appropriate information without fear or shame.
Dr. Klein and Leslie dig into the emotional side of growing up, from body image to social media influences. With so much misinformation online, how can parents become the go-to resource instead? Dr. Klein offers real-world advice to help parents navigate these tricky years with honesty, confidence, and a little humor.
Quotes
- “The talk, I want everyone to remember, is never just one talk. So don’t feel stressed that it has to be the talk. I think that that is a little bit like the old school way of thinking. And unfortunately, it’s still how it’s kind of presented in school.” (06:16 | Dr. Lisa Klein)
- “Shame-free, you know, it’s a big word, a big message I like to share. Shame-free, science-based, open and honest.” (11:16 | Dr. Lisa Klein)
- “Be the person your tween or teen turns to. Be their resource, because if you’re not, the internet will be.” (23:24 | Dr. Lisa Klein)
- “Communicate, be vulnerable, admit your mistakes, admit your flaws, admit what you’re working on. Say, ‘I don’t know the answer. I love your question. Let’s talk about it more. Let’s find someone to help us both.’ Communicate because if you don’t have that communication and openness, why in the world would they use you as their resource?” (37:47 | Dr. Lisa Klein)
Connect with Dr. Lisa Klein:
Learn More About Turning Teen
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Help Your Teen Cultivate Confidence
Website
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
“Setting a goal is a way of saying to yourself, ‘I want you to have what you desire, and I believe in your ability to create it.’” Leslie Randolph brings this idea to life as she talks about how self-confidence and intentions intersect with goal-setting in this episode of Why Didn’t They Tell Us?
Why do so many of us hesitate to set goals? Leslie tackles this question head-on as she reflects on how fear of failure and self-doubt often hold people back. She offers a perspective on goals, not as rigid achievements, but as tools to align with what truly matters in the moment.
Through personal stories, Leslie shares how to create intentions that fit your life right now, rather than chasing external expectations. She reminds us that setting a goal is less about perfection and more about self-love.
Leslie’s first episode for 2025 will inspire you to take that first step, trust yourself, and embrace growth on your own terms. It is an invitation to rethink your relationship with goals and see them as an expression of self-confidence and belief in your potential. What will you aim for when you give yourself permission to begin?
Quotes
- “Here’s the thing about goals: They are a playground for cultivating self-confidence. Setting a goal is a way of saying to yourself, ‘I want you to have what you desire, and I believe in your ability to create it.’ Setting a goal is the ultimate act of self-love.” (06:19 | Leslie Randolph)
- “Start there. Shoot, even if you’re unconvinced from this episode about the power and the reason for goal-setting or resolution-setting or intention-setting, I hope you will make the choice to simply believe in yourself this year, to make a habit of it, to tell yourself every day, either in the mirror or on a piece of paper, or just quietly in your mind, ‘I believe in you.’” (14:57 | Leslie Randolph)
- “There is no perfect time to start, there is no ‘too late.’ Just believe and begin. Come back to your reason why and keep going. With that, there is nothing you can’t do, be, or achieve.” (17:38 | Leslie Randolph)
Connect With Leslie:
Help Your Teen Cultivate Confidence
Website
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
“A lot of what our girls are experiencing today feels straight out of ‘Mean Girls,’” says Abby Gagerman, licensed social worker with her own private psychotherapy practice. Abby joins host Leslie Randolph to talk about the phenomenon of being “dropped” from friend groups. Social media, technology and the lingering effects of the Covid-19 lockdown have merely exacerbated the age-old phenomenon whereby middle schoolers form cliques which inevitably leave certain kids out. Too often, says Abby, moms of tweens and teens try to socially engineer their children’s friend groups—often to exorcise their own childhood trauma--and instill in their teens the belief that their own comfort should be sacrificed for other people—including people who aren’t good for them.
On this episode of Why Didn’t They Tell Us?, Abby will explain how you can prepare yourself for this tricky time in your teen’s life, and teach them resilience and self-regulation. She’ll explain the very specific language that will help you to validate your teen, listen to their feelings and stop placing your own comfort at the center of their decision-making. You’ll learn how to stop controlling and teach your teen to make values-based decisions so that they can attract quality people into their lives.
For many people, middle school is the worst time of their lives, but with Abby’s help, you can maximize this time of learning to help your teen develop a healthy value system that will carry them forward on their journey.
Quotes
- “Our job is not to control them; our job is to teach them.” (9:17 | Abby Gagerman)
- “So, the dropping—the problem isn’t the dropping itself. The problem is how we got there, but the phenomenon is here to stay. So, the question becomes, ‘What do we as mothers do about it?’” (20:53 | Abby Gagerman)
- “Rules are an articulation of our expectations which are an articulation of our values. So, if we’re making rules out of our own discomfort, then what are we saying we’re valuing? ‘My comfort is more important than yours.’ What is comfortable for me is more important than you being authentic and figuring out your life. So, I’ll say to a parent, ‘It’s OK to set a limit on your kid if you don’t want them sleeping at somebody’s house. Of course, you’re the parent. If there’s something about it that you don’t like, it’s OK to set that limit. Don’t use the language, ‘It makes me uncomfortable.’” (23:00 | Abby Gagerman)
- “Our job isn’t to fix their social life. Our life is to teach them how to manage their emotions and how to manage their emotions and how to act in line with their values.That is our job. So, in that moment we need to do this: we need to help our child regulate. We need to help them see that just because you were rejected doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to live, or you don’t deserve happiness or you’re not worthy.” (27:59 | Abby Gagerman)
- “Accept the lack of control you have over the situation. You can’t control your kid.” (41:21 | Abby Gagerman)
Connect with Abby Gagerman
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Help Your Teen Cultivate Confidence
Website
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
“It really shifts your thinking to things you wouldn’t give a second thought to,” says today’s guest Meredith Rivkin about the power of practicing gratitude. A junior in high school, Meredith serves as the president of the teen board at Gratitude Generation—g2—a nonprofit organization on a mission to instill gratitude in future generations through education and service. Meredith joins Why Didn’t They Tell Us to talk with host Leslie Randolph about what volunteering with the organization from such a young age has taught her about gratitude—as both an act and a feeling - and how giving back can instill confidence in teenagers living in an increasingly high-pressure world.
Meredith discusses how she’s learned to communicate effectively with peers and adults alike, to market herself and to successfully run and execute an event. She’ll explain how gratitude affects teens’ mental health and what it means to GLOW.
Gratitude offers teens what they want more than anything else: to feel seen and to feel like they matter. Join today’s episode to learn more about how to practice gratitude in your everyday life.
Quotes
- “I didn’t really realize it then but my mom and the other moms were really creating something that would become so significant and now as I’ve grown up with the Gratitude Generation, I realize how important it is.” (5:09 | Meredith Rivkin)
- “Gratitude Generation really taught me to be grateful for the small things and what I already had, not just what I continued to get.” (6:48 | Meredith Rivkin)
- “As a teen it definitely improves your mental health and you just feel like the things that seem so big in your life aren’t that big anymore. Also, one of the G2 coined terms is the GLOW—it stands for Gratitude Lights Our World and I really think that’s what demonstrates the feeling and the act of gratitude. You really get the GLOW when you’re done doing a service project or you really just feel grateful for everything that you have.” (15:08 | Meredith Rivkin)
- “I think the act itself is about giving your time and giving your energy to do something for yourself that will make you feel good but also for somebody else in the community. So, I think it really makes you selfless and it really creates that feeling of gratitude for what you have and what you can do to help others. And then when you feel that gratitude, you’re more likely to help others in the future. It’s healthy for you, it’s healthy for your family, your relationships, and literally everybody around you. Especially when there’s so much negativity and down energy in the world, the feeling of gratitude helps compensate for the other heavy emotions that teenagers and adults have every day.” (21:23 | Meredith Rivkin)
Learn More About Gratitude Generation
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Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
“I don’t want it to be a best-kept secret. I want everyone to know,” says Leslie Randolph on this solo episode where she announces an upcoming series she is launching in honor of her successful TEDx Talk being released to YouTube. The series of short-and-sweet episodes will be dedicated to unpacking the secrets of self-confidence and show you how to cultivate it. In this first episode of the self-confidence series, Leslie shares that it is a choice and a skill that must be practiced daily.
Tune in to hear Leslie’s definition of what self-confidence actually is, as well as two critical truths about it. She’ll explain how your self-image is yours to shape and how you can get started right away.
Join Leslie to hear the genuine joy she feels in sharing this message with those who need to hear it.
Quotes
- “I’m on a mission to spread self-confidence like confetti,” say host Leslie Randolph, “so that the next generation of girls forever knows that they can choose to love, trust and believe in themselves.” (1:20 | Leslie Randolph)
- “It’s never too late to start loving, trusting and believing in you.” (1:42 | Leslie Randolph)
- “I don’t want what I know and have the privilege of sharing with my clients to be the best-kept secret. I want everyone to know. I want you to know it, and to use it, and then to take into your world.” (2:07 | Leslie Randolph)
- “Self-confidence is a feeling which means it comes from your thinking. And not just any brand of thinking will do if you want to cultivate self-confidence. It has to be thinking that is rooted in loving, trusting, and believing in you. It is thinking that focuses more on your gifts and goodness than your faults and past failures. It is thinking that shines a light on your strengths versus your shortcomings. It is thinking that says, ‘I know you can figure this out. And I have your back through it all. So, if you want to cultivate that feeling of self-confidence you have to take the time to look for this within you. You will always find what you choose to focus on. Choose to focus on all that is amazing about you. There is so much to find if you look for it.” (4:38 | Leslie Randolph)
- “The thoughts you think about you are a choice you make. Which means that feeling of self-confidence is a choice. Choose it!” (7:42 | Leslie Randolph)
Links
Leslie's TEDx Talk, The Secret to Self-Confidence
Connect With Leslie:
Help Your Teen Cultivate Confidence
Website
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
“I didn’t slump over and start crying. I felt I had power,” says Samantha Golkin-Nigliazzo, an 11-year breast cancer survivor about receiving her diagnosis early thanks to vigilant screening and self-advocacy. More than a decade after her diagnosis, she now empowers others by serving as the vice president of The Pink Agenda and co-chair of the organization's Education Committee. The Pink Agenda is a nonprofit organization committed to raising money for breast cancer research and care, as well as awareness of the disease among young professionals.
On this episode of Why Didn’t They Tell Us? Samantha speaks to host Leslie Randolph about the importance of positive thinking and reframing, the necessity for a supportive community, and how to serve as a compassionate caretaker when someone you love is facing a diagnosis.
Samantha discusses the elements of what psychologist Martin Seligman called PERMA, the positive psychology acronym which lists the five elements of well-being and why she gravitates toward Jordyn Feingold’s adapted approach of REVAMP which encompasses relationships, engagement, vitality, accomplishment, meaning, and positive emotion. She explains the toll “scan-xiety” can have on those awaiting a result and why caretakers should take their cues, day-by-day, from those they love.
Join today’s episode to hear Samantha’s message of hope and the power of positive thinking and community.
Quotes
- “Breast cancer is terrible. Breast cancer sucks. There’s no other word for it, but knowing that you’re called back and called back, the anxiety, ‘Is it something? Is it nothing? It could be a calcification. It could be a cyst. It could be benign. It could be this; it could be that.’ That’s what dissuades people from being on top of their health and getting their screening.” (9:11 | Samantha Golkin-Nigliazzo)
- “I realized all those things that I had lived were things that have science-based research as to why they give you a life of elevated well-being, an elevated quality of life. I thought to myself, ‘Does that aid in risk? Does that aid in ultimate prognosis? The answer is, ‘Yes.’ ” (13:39 | Samantha Golkin-Nigliazzo)
- “One of the things that I love about having community, being around people who have shared experiences—especially in the breast cancer world—is that it gives you hope. It gives you this perspective that the people around you are living and thriving and doing good things with their lives.” (38:55 | Samantha Golkin-Nigliazzo)
- “There’s hope in community.” (40:00 | Samantha Golkin-Nigliazzo)
Links:
Learn More About The Pink Agenda
Follow The Pink Agenda on IG
Follow The Pink Agenda on Facebook
Connect with The Pink Agenda on LinkedIn
Connect with Samantha Golkin-Nigliazzo:
Connect With Leslie:
Help Your Teen Cultivate Confidence
Website
Instagram
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
“Compassion is the simplest solution to the world’s most complex problems,” says host Leslie Randolph on today’s episode of Why Didn’t They Tell Us. October is dedicated to breast cancer awareness, bullying prevention and marks one year since the tragic events of October 7 in Israel, and today Leslie focuses on healing ourselves and by extension, healing the world as a whole. This starts with feeling our feelings fully, while remaining in control of them, so that we can focus on loving, laughing, going and growing.
Leslie cites the work of psychiatrist Dr. Daniel Siegel who coined the phrase “name it to tame it” as a way to manage emotions, and she explains how she would further expand on that concept with a phrase of her own. She also explains how compassion, kindness, courage and self-confidence work together to help us confront bullying—by allowing us to stand on our own when we need to, stand up for others or just be more considerate in our everyday lives.
Join today’s discussion to learn more about the power of each person acting individually to create change collectively.
Quotes
- “Please do not ‘should’ yourself out of those emotions. They are your privilege as a human with breath in your body. I know they don’t feel good—I know—and that’s OK. Allow yourself to feel them and take care of yourself through them.” (6:27 | Leslie Randolph)
- “You can give your emotions the attention they want but you cannot give them all of you.” (7:16 | Leslie Randolph)
- “Compassion is critical when we think about creating the collective change our world so desperately needs.” (10:49 | Leslie Randolph)
- “Compassion is the simplest solution to the world’s most complex suffering.” (13:32 | Leslie Randolph)
Links
BEtween Us Event Registration
Connect With Leslie:
Help Your Teen Cultivate Confidence
Website
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
“The nervous system is the behind-the-scenes to your mindset—the-behind-the scenes to everything—it fuels everything and is probably the most important investment you can make, ” says today’s guest Leah Davidson. A registered speech language pathologist and certified life coach—among a plethora of other certifications—Leah saw early on the role brain neuroplasticity and positive mindset played in a patient’s ability to heal and improve their conditions—even traumatic brain injuries. Today, she joins the Why Didn’t They Tell Us podcast to explain how the nervous system affects every aspect of our lives— from our outlook, mood, energy and the way we interpret information—as well as how we can develop a new positive mindset and increase our resilience.
The process starts with developing an awareness of our own unique nervous systems and how they react to everything going on in our lives both internally and externally. Regulating our nervous systems is not only life-changing for us but for our teenage children who are watching our every move for cues as to how to react to their own worlds while their brains continue to mature. Leah explains how we can model positive nervous system regulation and emotional regulation for our kids.
Join today’s discussion to learn how you can tune into this most powerful internal system, work with it to develop a more positive mindset, and ultimately, change your life.
Quotes
- “The nervous system is the behind-the-scenes to your mindset. It’s the behind-the-scenes to everything that you do and it is probably the most valuable investment you can make—into your nervous system—because it fuels everything.” (6:13 | Leah Davidson)
- “I believe you can’t really access your mindset without really understanding your nervous system. You can’t take full advantage of the benefits of working on your mindset without looking deeper at what your nervous system is because it’s sort of like the mindset…the tip of the iceberg that we work on but the nervous system is down below. So, we want to be accessing it all.” (13:08 | Leah Davidson)
- “Your worth is in being and not doing.” (22:56 | Leah Davidson)
- “Teens are also super unique because their brains are developing, their CEO is on its way to develop. Their CEO isn’t fully developed until they’re in their mid-twenties, so they are reading and relying a lot on the—hopefully—regulated adults around them, meaning they’re relying on their parents, their coaches, their teachers to not just serve as a cognitive example but to serve as a nervous system. We call it co-regulation—when they are in your presence, are they feeding off of a frenetic, hyper energy, or are they feeding off of a confident, calm energy?” (22:58 | Leah Davidson)
- “We first learn about our nervous system through our caregivers and that is the importance of—when people say, ‘What can I do with my teen? What can I do with my children?’ Nothing, per se, to your children, it is your work to do. And if you do your work, that will spill over into every single relationship you have, especially the relationship with your kids.” (24:28 | Leah Davidson)
Connect with Leah Davidson:
Leah's Instagram
Leah’s Podcast: Building Resilience
Leah's Coaching Community
Connect With Leslie:
Help Your Teen Cultivate Confidence
Website
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
“I’m not just talking to new students who are starting this new chapter at college, this is for moms as well,” says host Leslie Randolph who dedicates today’s episode of Why Didn’t They Tell Us to helping teens and their parents build trust and confidence—in themselves and in each other—as those teens embark on this exciting new chapter in their lives. College presents its own unique set of challenges—making new friends, joining new clubs and societies all while maintaining good grades. Leslie’s formula for thriving with confidence remains the same: loving, trusting and believing in yourself.
You have the power to control your thoughts. By telling yourself the story that you are the person you are striving to be, you create a roadmap of the steps to take to actually become that person. For moms, this goes double: you have to trust and believe in your kid as well as in yourself that you both will not only survive but thrive through this process. The answer lay not in making things less difficult, but in trusting that you both can handle the challenges.
Join today’s episode to hear Leslie share a story about how she overcame her own shyness to make new friends when her family moved to South Africa. She also shares the best way for parents to give their kids advice—and it might not be what you’re expecting.
Quotes
- “Your thoughts are not facts. They aren’t truth. Most of the thoughts that we think are fictional stories and we’re the ones writing them. So, we want to use the power we have—everyone does—to write a story that we love, especially when that story is about you.” (8:19 | Leslie Randolph)
- “You wouldn’t trust someone who didn’t have your best interests in mind or didn’t act in alignment with your values. The same is true for cultivating self-trust.” (11:14 | Leslie Randolph)
- “You think the thoughts, and then you follow the steps of what that person you are trying to be would do.” (14:28 | Leslie Randolph)
- “Moms you can trust yourselves by remembering all the lessons you taught her and modeled to her her whole life.” (23:01 | Leslie Randolph)
- “You don’t stop being your kid's parents when they leave for school. You are just taking a more active role from the sidelines versus calling the plays.” (23:50 | Leslie Randolph)
Links
College-Bound Confidence for Moms
Connect With Leslie:
Help Your Teen Cultivate Confidence
Website
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
“Everything is hard before you start,” explains Leslie who returns from summer vacation to start a new season talking about, well—getting back into your routine. On today’s episode, she’ll discuss the fear and anxiety that naturally accompanies returning to an old job or skill after a period away, or starting a new endeavor entirely. It is completely normal to feel nervous, doubtful and like you’ve lost your mojo, however, it’s not a reason not to start. Leslie shares how to prove the doubting voice in your head wrong, face your fears, and act as your own bestie.
As she explains throughout today’s episode, it takes a combination of humility, flexibility, compassion and action. Self-confidence is like working out—it can be painful at first but the more you do it, the easier it becomes. And you have to be willing to be bad at your goal of choice for a little while, at least at the beginning.
Join in to learn what first inspired Leslie to become a confidence coach, as well as how you can be part of the exciting new expansion to her business.
Quotes
- “I had a coaching mentor who once said to our cohort, ‘All roads lead back to Rome.’ And as a general life coach, I found that ‘Rome’ was self-love. Rome was self-worth. Rome was self-confidence.” (1:59 | Leslie Randolph)
- “That teenage insecurity and self-consciousness and doubt that might have you not raising your hand in the classroom and then all of a sudden when you grow up becomes imposter syndrome and you’re not raising your hand in the boardroom.” (3:14 | Leslie Randolph)
- “If I boil down so much of what I do with my clients it is really teaching them how to be a friend to themselves, a cheerleader to themselves. That bestie.” (3:58 | Leslie Randolph)
- “The edge of the diving board is always scarier than jumping. Nothing is harder than the moments before taking that first courageous step toward your goal.” (9:50 | Leslie Randolph)
- "If your brain is telling you 'you can't do it’ yeah, you can believe, ‘I can do it, I’m willing to try, I’m willing to give it a chance.’ You know what else you can do? You can go do it. Sometimes, the greatest gift you can give that bully brain is to prove it wrong with your actions. It’s like, ‘Watch me.’ So the best action? To start, to try, to see what’s possible and to see what you are capable of." (11:18 | Leslie Randolph)
- “If you don’t challenge those beliefs with action, what often happens is you just continue to think that they’re true. And it’s not that they’re true, it’s that you didn’t do anything to prove them wrong.” (15:23 | Leslie Randolph)
Connect With Leslie:
Help Your Teen Cultivate Confidence
Website
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
“Nothing changes everything,” says host Leslie Randolph on this summer season finale of Why Didn’t They Tell Us? Today, she draws from her recent experience giving a TEDx Talk—a longtime dream come true—to remind us of some of the most valuable lessons we’ve learned in episodes past. In this era of instant fame and “going viral,” it’s easy to believe that one event can instantly turn our whole worlds around. The true change that occurs, as Leslie will explain, is different, but better and much more valuable.
Leslie reminds us that because our brains are made to keep us safe from the danger of taking risks, their default mode is negative. So it is up to us to think positively—even before we have proof of success—that we can do it and that we are worthy. Circumstances are neither good nor bad, we get to determine how we feel about them.
What dreams of your own will you boldly chase this summer? Leslie will return this Fall for a season full of new insights and advice to help you and your teen become more self-loving and self-confident.
Quotes
- “Nothing changes everything. What happens on the other side of a dream come true? It changes you. Dreams coming true don’t change everything, they change you. And that’s what matters even more.” (6:33 | Leslie Randolph)
- “Self-confidence, that holy grail emotion that I know so many of us seek is rooted in loving and believing in you. And a lot of times I think we feel like we need a reason, proof, to love and believe in ourselves.” (7:03 | Leslie Randolph)
- “If I asked you to list out, right now, ten amazing things about you and what you’ve accomplished in your life, would you have that list at the ready?” (9:00 | Leslie Randolph)
- “I had no evidence that I could do this Ted Talk, I had no evidence that I could do a podcast. I had to believe in me, and be willing to go after that goal, to take that risk, to leave my comfort zone, but you’ve got to believe first.” (10:57 | Leslie Randolph)
- “Now on the other side of those goals, those risks, when you are in the discomfort zone, when you’ve made it there, when you’ve trained your brain to say, “I’m willing to feel these feels. I’m willing to do this,’ then you have the evidence. That’s the as-soon-as. You’ve got the proof.” (11:18 | Leslie Randolph)
Connect With Leslie:
Leslie's TEDx Talk (tune in at 22:00)
Help Your Teen Cultivate Confidence
Website
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
“Time for yourself is one of the most important gifts that you can give yourself,” says Sandra Merrill, holistic mind, body, and energy coach. Born an anxious kid and later struggling with the high intensity of living in New York City, she discovered the power of savasana yoga and the importance of taking time to be quiet and alone with one’s thoughts. She explains that for many, this is a scary prospect. People often feel too busy or fear there is a ‘right’ way to meditate and that they might do it ‘wrong.’
In today’s episode of Why Didn’t They Tell Us?, Sandra dispels many myths and extols the virtues of meditation. Despite the uncontrollable aspects of our world, we can control how we show up in it. We can accept our thoughts and responses and mindfully bring ourselves back to center.
Sandra points out that if you can spend ten minutes mindlessly scrolling social media, you can take the time for meditation and experience life-changing results.
Quotes
- “We are constantly distracted and feeling like we need to be doing more, and we need to be moving and we need to be creating and we end up, I think, doing less. But I think that is what pushes us back. Who wants to sit down with themselves and dedicate time to sit down with themselves for 10 minutes? It sounds daunting and it sounds long. But I can guarantee you that those same people—sometimes myself included—have no problem scrolling on any social media platform for ten minutes, mindlessly, wasting that time.” (13:39 | Sandra Merrill)
- “I think so much of meditation is about acceptance of, ‘I am thinking these thoughts. I accept that.’ ‘This is happening in my life. How can I accept that?’ There’s so little that we have control over. In fact, we only really have control over how we show up in the world.” (28:09 | Sandra Merrill)
- “You know when Buddha sat with himself…I like knowing we can all do this…repeat the phrase ‘so hum’…come back to this ‘so hum.’” (26:36 | Sandra Merrill)
- “Meditation brings us back to that place of, “I know the answer already.” (31:37 | Sandra Merrill)
Connect with Sandra Merrill:
Find Sandra Online
Follow on IG
Connect With Leslie:
Help Your Teen Cultivate Confidence
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“If we only go after goals that we have evidence of our ability to achieve, then we’ll never conquer new frontiers,” says host Leslie Randolph. This is why we need to believe in ourselves ahead of time. So many of us, when pursuing a new goal, get caught in what she calls ‘a cycle of sabotage.’ Since we don’t have a past example to prove that we can achieve this goal, we get caught in a feeling of hopelessness, which means we don’t try and thus fulfill our own prophecy of impossibility. Thoughts lead to feelings which lead to action—or inaction.
On today’s episode of Why Didn’t They Tell Us, Leslie explains why our brain’s natural function of protecting us can backfire on our success, and what we can do to move past our “as-soon-as” thinking and believe in ourselves even while we’re waiting for evidence that we can do it.
Are you ready to go confidently in the direction of your dreams? Today Leslie will help you gain the self- confidence to take your first step forward.
Quotes
- “So many of us have goals and dreams that we have no evidence of our ability to achieve or proof of possibility. And if you want something that you’ve never had before, something you’ve never achieved before, then you have no reason to believe it’s possible, right? If we can’t look back to our past for evidence that we’re capable of doing it, we have no reason to believe that we can, that it’s possible.” (4:59 | Leslie Randolph)
- “If we only go after goals that we have evidence of our ability to achieve, then we’ll never conquer new frontiers. We may never change and we’ll likely never try. That’s the biggest problem with not believing in ourselves. It stops us from seeing what’s possible, and more importantly, going after it.” (5:56 | Leslie Randolph)
- “Your feelings are your fuel. How you feel will determine what you do and don’t do. Our feelings drive all of our actions.” (7:00 | Leslie Randolph)
- “You just have to make the choice to believe in you.” (10:55 | Leslie Randolph)
Connect With Leslie:
Help Your Teen Cultivate Confidence
Website
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
“It’s no wonder we claim to not know what we want,” says host Leslie Randolph on today’s episode of Why Didn’t They Tell Us. “We’ve been programmed to follow a path that isn’t for us. It’s actually for everyone else’s perception of us.” When what we truly want comes into conflict with all of the expectations placed on us by society, we experience what she calls ‘should shame.’ Women, especially, are given a rigid and narrow set of rules by which they are expected to live, and when you want to deviate from them, an emotional deficit begins to grow.
Before Leslie found her calling as a coach, she experienced a lot of the same conflict. She shares the story of discovering her passion, hiding behind a safe and respectable job option and how she finally summoned the courage to be honest about what she really wanted and never looked back.
What will you do with your one, precious life? Join Leslie to learn how to discover your purpose and passion, as well as the self-confidence to go after it.
Quotes
- “First of all, I think so many of us believe that there’s a wrong answer, like, ‘I know what I want but it’s not what I should want.’ Whenever I hear the word ‘should,’ an alarm goes off in me because I know that ‘should’ always leads to shame.” (3:20 | Leslie Randolph)
- “One of the reasons we experience ‘should shame’ is because the ‘should’ aligns with an external expectation versus an internal desire, and I believe that women are especially susceptible to societal ‘shoulds.’” (6:02 | Leslie Randolph)
- “No sooner did I hear that voice of ‘That’s what you should do, that’s what you want,’ did I hear another voice come in that said, ‘You want to do what? You want to be a coach? What’s a coach?’ I had some strong opinions about it and it was so informed by those societal ‘shoulds.’ (15:03 | Leslie Randolph)
- “At that moment, that moment when, at the height of the pandemic where we had this realization that life is so short and everything can change in a moment, and that desire became more important than the ‘shoulds.’ It’s my life. I want to do this, I want to create this impact, I want to help people. That meant more to be than the ‘You want to be a what?’ voice. I turned down the volume on that voice, on societal ‘shoulds,’ and cranked up the volume on the ‘This is what I want’ voice. And obviously you know how this story ends.” (19:21 | Leslie Randolph)
- “Don’t let ‘I don’t know’ be the compass. It will keep you stuck.” (21:51 | Leslie Randolph)
Connect With Leslie:
Help Your Teen Cultivate Confidence
Website
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
“I’m out of my league. Someone else could do it better. I bring nothing to the table.” Imposter Syndrome, which is when we feel like a fraud in our lives or careers despite evidence to the contrary, causes so many of us insecurity, anxiety and doubt. What’s worse, we all think we are alone in this feeling, despite leading figures from actress Natalie Portman, singer Lady Gaga and even the Vice President of the United States, Kamala Harris, all admitting to feeling like they don’t deserve their success and that they’ll be exposed to the world at any moment. Luckily, Leslie has the antidote for all of these negative thoughts, and on today’s episode of Why Didn’t They Tell Us, she’ll show you how to challenge your false beliefs by answering one simple question.
Our thoughts are deliberate. If we can choose to think negative thoughts we can choose to think positive thoughts. Leslie shares a series of affirmations to tell yourself so that you can begin to change the course of your emotions, and replace feelings of doubt with feelings of pride and self-confidence.
Quotes
- “Imposter syndrome is a feeling caused by a collection of thoughts that are rooted in disbelief of you, your ability and capability.” (6:54 | Leslie Randolph)
- “Often we ask ourselves the question, ‘Who do you think you are?’ And we let it be rhetorical. We just hear that very judgmental voice, and we think, ‘Oh, yeah, no, I am not cut out for this.’ We hear the question and we let it go unanswered.” (8:46 | Leslie Randolph)
- “Imposter Syndrome is not a diagnosis or this incurable ail. It is the result of believing false thoughts about you, and while they are common, they are also optional. Thoughts always are. Our thoughts are the source of all of our suffering, but they can also be the secret to our success. Your perspective is your power.” (11:07 | Leslie Randolph)
- “Self-confidence is the antidote to Imposter Syndrome. It’s doubt’s Achilles heel.”(13:37 | Leslie Randolph)
- “That story you’ve been telling, it is not written in stone. You created it, which means you can also change it.” (15:34 | Leslie Randolph)
Connect With Leslie:
Quick Tips to Cultivate Confidence
Help Your Teen Cultivate Confidence
Website
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
“It’s more than just visual—it’s also psychological, it’s emotional, there’s a physical component to it, there’s even a spiritual component to it,” says Sandy Thinnes, founder and CEO of Beauty Flow, a holistic beauty and wellness brand that takes an inside approach to beauty. Sandy explains how the desire to feel attractive and express oneself through makeup is common among women of all ages. However, she raises concerns about the impact of social media platforms like TikTok, which have young girls obsessing over makeup and skincare products. These products can be inappropriate for their age or even harmful based on their ingredients.
Sandy addresses how Millennial Moms can guide their daughters through the overwhelming beauty landscape. She will detail which products and ingredients to avoid, how to set positive beauty standards and attitudes, and ways to foster "foundational beauty" by helping teens and tweens develop their inner selves.
Furthermore, Sandy highlights the interconnectedness of physical health and beauty, sharing insights on how a healthy gut biome contributes to a healthy mind, spirit, and skin barrier. Listeners will learn about the scientific links between meditation and anti-aging, the benefits of daily physical activity, and why maintaining a regulated nervous system is crucial for beauty.
The episode emphasizes teaching girls to value who they are and what they have to offer, so they can show up confidently to present their unique gifts to the world and to heal it in a way that only women can.
Quotes
- “There’s really nothing wrong with you or your body, there’s just something wrong with where your focus is.” (24:50 | Sandy Thinnes)
- “If you are completely focused on your external shell, it will rob focus away from your internal spirit, your internal world.” (25:32 | Sandy Thinnes)
- “It just takes one woman to start a beauty movement.” (34:41 | Sandy Thinnes)
- “My goal is to help women understand that so they can pass it on to future generations, and also for themselves to show up so that they can feel more successful in their world and whatever it is they're doing.” (41:50 | Sandy Thinnes)
- “What we can all do with one another is to help each other have more confidence because when women or girls don't have confidence, they want to hide. They don't want to show up. They don't want to share what's in their heart or what they're doing to try to make this world a better place. And I don't know about you, but I can see that this world needs women more than ever, to heal, because a lot is going on out there.” (42:09 | Sandy Thinnes)
Connect with Sandy Thinnes:
Find Sandy on Instagram
Learn More About Sandy
Connect With Leslie:
Help Your Teen Cultivate Confidence
Website
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“Would you say to your best friend, ‘Well, you kind of suck. You’re a total failure?’” asks host Leslie Randolph on today’s episode of Why Didn’t They Tell Us? Most likely—and hopefully—the answer is no, so why do so many of us so easily and frequently say these things to ourselves when we fail to achieve our goals or get something we wanted? We attach disparaging narratives to our failures and positive narratives to what we perceive as other peoples’ endless stream of successes. There are three major forms of what Leslie calls self-confidence kryptonite, and today she’ll share what they are and what we can do to guard against them.
She’ll reveal the one small word to add to your negative self-talk that will completely change your outlook. She’ll discuss sticking to the facts and how to avoid the traps laid by social media that prey on our doubts and insecurity. Learn a series of lists to compile, how to be aware of negative self-talk and deliberate about positive self-talk.
As Leslie says, self-confidence is an inside job!
Quotes
- “If your goal is to one day make the team, or to one day get that promotion at work, those thoughts are not going to motivate you to try again. Why would you? If you believe you suck, or you’re a failure, or it’s never going to happen, then what’s the point? Those thoughts not only make you feel bad but they stop you from going after what it is you want.” (5:55 | Leslie Randolph)
- “That doesn’t mean today’s result is going to dictate what happens in the future, only you can if you stop trying. And you’ll stop trying if you tell yourself you suck, you’re a failure, and it’s never going to happen.” (11:58 | Leslie Randolph)
- “If your best friend called and said, ‘I didn’t make the team,’ or ‘I didn’t get the promotion,’ would you sit there and say, ‘Well, you kind of suck. I mean, you’re a total failure and you’re probably never going to get it, I mean, it’s never going to happen for you.’ Would you say that to her? No. No, you wouldn’t. And if you did, chances are she wouldn’t be your best friend for long.” (9:11 | Leslie Randolph)
- “Learning to remove yourself from situations that make you feel terrible is a total act of self love.” (15:02 | Leslie)
- “Self-confidence is an inside job, which means the source of it comes from within as well.” (19:58 | Leslie Randolph)
Connect With Leslie:
Sign Up for Leslie's Email List
Help Your Teen Cultivate Confidence
Website
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
"Self-confidence is an inside job," Leslie Randolph asserts in this solo episode of "Why Didn’t They Tell Us?" Despite this truth, many of us allow others' opinions, which often mirror our own insecurities, to shape our self-perception. This fear of external judgment hinders us from pursuing our desires, whether it's starting a business, joining a club, or parenting in our own way. To combat this, Leslie introduces practical tools to help us reclaim our self-confidence and courageously pursue our true paths.
Echoing the investigative approach of journalists with the Five Ws—who, what, when, where, why—Leslie guides us to interrogate the fears and seek approval from the "they" whose opinions we fear and crave. She debunks the myths surrounding these perceived judgements and uncovers the true nature of criticism. Leslie then encourages us to ask ourselves a pivotal question, one that connects us more deeply with our desires and empowers us to act with confidence.
The episode invites listeners to dial down their "bully brain" and amplify their "bestie brain," reconnecting with their adolescent selves—a time when many of us were acutely concerned with others' views. Through Leslie's insights, we learn to silence our internal critic and foster a supportive inner dialogue, empowering us to believe in ourselves, irrespective of external voices.
Quotes
- “When we’re so concerned about what other people will think about us or say about us if we go after our goals, then we often don’t.” (4:15 | Leslie Randolph)
- “Listen, you’re wonderful. You’re amazing. You are special. But not everyone is talking about you. You could be Oprah, Beyonce, Ghandi or Lady Gaga and still, not everyone in the world is talking about you, caring about you or even thinking about you.” (8:35 | Leslie Randolph)
- “Are they going to raise your kids for you? Are they going to pay your rent because you walked away from that professional path or from launching a business? Chances are, no. They’re not.” (11:36 | Leslie Randolph)
- “That internal naysayer, it’s just your bully brain holding you back. It’s dressed up in other people’s opinions, but it’s all happening in your mind.” (14:48 | Leslie Randolph)
- “When you challenge the story and write a new one with the bestie as the narrator, it’s amazing what you’ll find, and, more importantly, what you’ll do.” (18:13 | Leslie Randolph)
Connect With Leslie:
Bully to Bestie Bootcamp
Help Your Teen Cultivate Confidence
Website
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
We know we’re not supposed to care what people think of us. But as host Leslie Randolph explains on this solo episode of “Why Didn’t They Tell Us,” we are literally hard-wired to care what people think of us, to want to be liked and accepted, and to belong. At one time, when we all lived as members of tribes, the approval of others was literally a matter of life and death. To illustrate this, Leslie recalls her time spent living in South Africa and why the sight of a lone impala filled her with such dread.
Caring about what others think isn’t such a bad thing. After all, it’s important to be mindful of other people’s feelings. The most important thing is to make sure our concern is mindful, and that we don’t please others and seek validation at the risk of our own self-confidence or sense of self. There is only one of each of us in the world, and it is our responsibility to the truest versions of ourselves. Leslie shares a story of shopping for a dress she loved but that her daughter hated, and what Leslie decided to do in response.
So, let’s cut ourselves some slack. Caring what others think is a default setting, which won’t go away. But with Leslie’s help throughout today’s discussion, we can make a deliberate mental shift, and make sure our opinion of ourselves reigns supreme. Join the conversation to learn more about the upcoming Bully to Bestie Bootcamp, where you’ll learn more about self-confidence and positive self-talk.
Quotes:
- “Doubt, fear, and anxiety are all part of the package of being a perfectly imperfect human. The only difference between those successful and self-confident people among us is that we don’t let those emotions be the decision-makers in our lives. We don’t let those emotions and the voices creating them, the thoughts creating those feelings, have the microphone in our minds.” (1:28 | Leslie)
- “We are biologically wired to care what other people think of us. It’s truly a primitive survival mechanism. Caring what other people think of you is part of that pack mentality that ensures your safety out there in the wild. I know we’re not in the wild, but some days it feels like that doesn’t it?” (9:48 | Leslie Randolph)
- “You are the only you in this world. You are the only you that we’ve got. It is literally your responsibility to be you. And if you have to be anything else, or less than you to win someone’s approval of you, then my friend, that is too high a cost. Then that someone’s not for you.” (15:27 | Leslie Randolph)
- “Think about it: if you have to be something or someone else other than what you are for someone to like you, then they aren’t worth it. They’re literally not for you! That high opinion that you worked so hard to achieve is of someone that isn’t even you.” (15:56 | Leslie Randolph)
Connect With Leslie:
Sign Up for the Bully to Bestie Bootcamp HERE
Confidence Coach for Girls
Help Your Teen Cultivate Confidence
Website
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In the last episode of Why Didn’t They Tell Us, Leslie offered us a series of steps to make doing hard things a little easier. Now, she invites us to play “doubt detective!” Whether it’s launching a new business or auditioning for the school play, fear is underlying the tasks we avoid and procrastinate about, one that we must identify. Get ready to dig deep–what you are afraid of is not always the first or most obvious answer.
Once you pinpoint your fear, your goal is not to get rid of it. On the journey toward your dreams, fear is along for the ride. The point is to put it in the backseat and let courage, confidence and compassion be your GPS. There is an emotion far greater, more painful and longer-lasting than fear, after all.
Leslie reveals what it is, as well as what we can do to give us a fresh perspective on our emotions. She also reveals the secret to being unstoppable and to living a limitless life. Get ready to jump in the driver’s seat and head out for your dreams with all of your emotions in tow. Those dreams are worth it and you are worthy of them.
Quotes:
- “The secret to self-confidence is not that you never feel doubt, that you never feel insecure, that you never feel afraid. It is that you do not let those emotions stop you from going after what it is you want.” (3:50 | Leslie)
- “If we break down hard things, they’re really only hard because there is a fear behind them. The fear of failure. The fear of success. The fear of rejection, embarrassment, the fear of heartbreak. Maybe the fear of hard work. Fill in your flavor of fear.” (2:20 | Leslie)
- “For any obstacle there is a strategy to overcome it, and it all exists within you.” (6:05 | Leslie)
- “Fear, it can come along for the ride, and it will come along for the ride. As long as you are a human being with breath in your body, fear is coming. But it doesn’t have to stop you unless you let it. Please, don’t let it. Your dreams deserve more. You deserve more.” (11:24 | Leslie)
- “Please hear me when I say this: Milk has a longer shelf life than most emotions. That’s one of my favorites–I say it with frequency. They don’t and they can’t last forever without your permission.” (12:22 | Leslie)
Connect With Leslie:
Help Your Teen Cultivate Confidence
Website
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
“There’s no poetic way to say it,” Leslie says on this solo episode of Why Didn’t They Tell Us? “Often, what you want to achieve is hard.” Since our brains are designed to seek pleasure and avoid pain, it’s no wonder that it’s difficult for most of us to face or achieve the things we find difficult. Luckily, Leslie is here to help, offering three specific ways to change our mindsets and attitudes toward the things that we avoid doing.
She shares examples from her own life when changing her internal messaging made overcoming a previously insurmountable obstacle much easier–even if it was only for a few hours at a time, at first. She shares how she has been able to meet her goal for the year, and the negative inner dialogues that have kept clients from achieving theirs.
So, members of the “confidence crew,” please tune in to learn a better way to face the challenges in your life by working with your brain’s default settings instead of against them. Not only will you find yourself being more productive, you will have more fun in the process!
Quotes
- “Try on what I teach today. See if it fits. It ain’t couture–it’s off the rack. So, if it doesn’t, adjust, my friend.” (4:50 | Leslie)
- “Thank you, brain. I appreciate you keeping me safe and alive. But with this sole purpose, your brain, in its default setting, is hardwired to seek out pleasure and to avoid pain.” (7:50 | Leslie)
- “Sometimes, we just need to get going.” (12:24 | Leslie)
- “It’s human nature to avoid the hard. It is human nature to not even set the goal if we think it’s going to be hard.” (16:08 | Leslie)
- “A lot of times we can make the journey easier than we originally think if we are willing to consider what that could look like. That, maybe, the one and only way to achieve that goal is, in fact, not, the one and only way.” (17:05 | Leslie)
Connect With Leslie:
Book a FREE Call with Leslie: https://calendly.com/lesliethelifecoach/45-minute-exploration-1
Six Steps to Help Your Teen Cultivate Confidence: https://www.confidencecoachforgirls.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_coach_chronicles/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CoachChronicles/
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
“So many women struggle to create balance. Is that you?” If your answer is “yes,” Leslie is here to help. There’s no such thing as finding balance–you must create it, and on this solo episode of Why Didn’t They Tell Us?, Leslie has provided some confidence cultivator thought starters, a series of questions and time audits to determine what your priorities are and how to best utilize your time and energy so that both your needs and your desires are met.
It’s so important that you approach each question honestly and without judgment. Society’s “shoulds” have no place in this process. Whatever your priorities are–whether it’s your social life or creating more of a work-life balance–be honest and honor them.
Balance and calm go hand in hand. You can’t have one without the other. With Leslie’s help you are well on your way to creating more of both in your daily life.
Quotes
- “Chances are, if you’re going and going and giving and giving, there’s very little left for you when it’s all said and done. And let’s be honest, it never feels done, because it all starts over the next day.” (3:02 | Leslie)
- “Balance is not something you seek; it is something you create. With intention. With commitment and consistency.” (6:34 | Leslie)
- “Don’t judge; just notice. Remember I said you can’t beat yourself up to more self-confidence. The same applies here. You cannot beat yourself up to create more balance. Notice with love and compassion, not judgment.” (11:14 | Leslie)
- “Why didn't they tell us we can’t wait for balance and calm, we must create it.” (19:37 | Leslie)
- “By letting go of the external ‘shoulds’ and paying attention to our internal priorities, our internal desires, by making the time for them and savoring it when we do, we will create the calm and balance we so desire. I hope you do. I know you can. I'm cheering you on for all of it.” (19:46 | Leslie)
Connect With Leslie:
Six Steps to Help Your Teen Cultivate Confidence: https://www.confidencecoachforgirls.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_coach_chronicles/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CoachChronicles/
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
“I’ve got the promise of new possibilities pumping through me!” announces Leslie as she kicks off the New Year with a new episode and a self-confidence cheat sheet for you to cultivate more confidence in the year ahead. While the concept of more self-confidence feels like a reach for some, Leslie explains that it is available to anyone who is willing to make one simple change. And that change is not what you might think as the messaging about goals and “New Year, New You” floods our feeds and collective conversations.
All you have to do is to change the way you think about yourself. Not just happy thoughts, but deliberate thoughts that focus on your unique strengths and gifts only you can offer the world.
Too often, we suffer from what Leslie has coined “as soon as” syndrome. We think that as soon as we get that job, that dream partner, that promotion, then we have permission to feel good about ourselves. But actually, it’s the opposite. The more we believe in ourselves, the more that version of ourselves shows up in the world, along with the self-worth that comes with it.
Setting goals is a good thing. But you don’t have to wait to achieve them to become the best version of yourself. That change lies in the power of your thoughts, and you can change your thinking at this very moment!
Quotes:
- “As we start a new year, I want to offer you an approach that, when put into practice, allows you to create that potential and promise that perhaps you’re yearning for in the new year.” (3:25 | Leslie)
- “We’re bombarded with messaging of ‘New Year! New You!’ Like there’s a version 2.0 of you that does everything right, (right in air quotes). And when you do everything right, then you’ll feel the confidence needed to create what you want in the year ahead. Then you will feel worthy.” (4:16 | Leslie)
- “All that needs to change is your mindset.” (5:02 | Leslie)
- “The thoughts you think aren’t just the soundtrack in your mind. They are the compass of your life.”(6:10 | Leslie)
- “Believe you can do something and you will find the way. Believe in yourself and you won’t stop until it’s yours. Believe in yourself and you will forever have a friend on the journey to creating a life you love.” (6:19 | Leslie)
Connect With Leslie:
Confidence Cultivator Cheat Sheet: https://wondrous-leader-9073.ck.page/13bd931567
Six Steps to Help Your Teen Cultivate Confidence: https://www.confidencecoachforgirls.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_coach_chronicles/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CoachChronicles/
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
“Your feelings drive what you do–and don’t do–in this one and only life of yours,” says Leslie in this second installment of the Goal Setting Made Simple series. Today, we are talking about “emotional fuel,” or the feeling needed to make your dream, resolution or goal a reality. It’s a cyclical process: positive feelings make you more likely to do the work involved to achieve your goal, and completing that work gives your feelings of pride and achievement which then fuel you to do more work. Those positive emotions also make the journey to achieving the goal far more enjoyable.
Today, Leslie shares her “greatest hit list” of top 5 feelings for goal getting. Any number of distractions, comforts and temptations threaten to sabotage our goals at any moment, and these five feelings will keep you motivated and prevent you from feeling overwhelmed as you make your goal a reality.
Achieving your goals isn’t easy. In fact, only nine to 20 percent of people keep their New Year’s Resolutions. Leslie’s here to help you beat those odds as well as share with you what is kryptonite to success, what separates quitters from conquerors and the important distinction between confidence and self-confidence.
Quotes
- “Any goal is simply the result of taking action–likely a lot of action. Few goals are a one-and-done situation. They typically require consistency and repetition.” (2:54 | Leslie)
- “If you think, ‘I can’t do it,’ and you feel defeated, and your emotional fuel is ‘defeat,’ well then you’re not going to do it. Why would you? There’s no point. You can’t do it, you feel defeated. But if you think, ‘I can do it!’ ” and you feel motivated, you’re going to go do the thing. Motivation becomes your emotional fuel.” (4:06 | Leslie)
- “That is premium emotional fuel, that is what we’re talking about today: what you need to feel to achieve what you desire.” ((7:09 | Leslie)
- “Be sure your ‘why’ is for you.” (12:38 | Leslie)
- “It takes courage to even set a goal let alone go after a goal.” (15:28 | Leslie)
- “Whatever your goal is, believe in your ability to make it a reality.” (19:40 | Leslie)
Connect With Leslie:
Book a Call with Leslie: https://calendly.com/lesliethelifecoach/self-confidence-consult
Six Steps to Help Your Teen Cultivate Confidence: https://www.confidencecoachforgirls.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_coach_chronicles/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CoachChronicles/
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
“It’s the season of goal setting and goal getting!” As we move into a new year, Leslie’s gift to you is a series of actionable steps that will help you achieve your goals. The first step is starting. Too often people wait until everything is perfect before beginning whatever it is that they want to do. Of course, nothing is or ever will be perfect. Making mistakes and feeling silly are all part of the process, it’s also how you figure out solutions–and there is a solution to everything. You have to be willing to take perfectly imperfect action, feel the fear and do it anyway.
When Leslie first launched this podcast–one year ago!--she had all the same fears and feelings. She learned how to turn down the volume on her bully brain and amplify the voice of her bestie brain, using techniques she shares here today. She’ll teach you how to build your self-confidence, and provide yourself with the fuel to keep going by taking stock of your achievements along the way.
Today’s episode marks the one-year anniversary of Why Didn’t They Tell Us. By joining today’s conversation and following Leslie’s advice, you’ll soon be on your own journey toward achieving your goals.
Quotes
- “When you want to go after a goal, chase a dream, create the life of your dreams, you have to start. It seems so simple, but I have to say it. You have to go, you have to take that first terrifying step. You can always change directions if you find yourself going in the wrong direction.” (5:29 | Leslie)
- “There is a solution to every problem and when you are going after a goal–spoiler alert—there will always be obstacles. It doesn't matter what your goal is, you're going to hit them.” (8:30 | Leslie)
- “You have to be willing to be bad. You have to be willing to struggle. When you are starting anything new, you have to be willing to not be great out of the gate. I know that's not fun.” (11:44 | Leslie)
- “That's all that failure is: a chance to learn.” (16:29 | Leslie)
- “When you're in the thick of it feeling terrible because of the way that you're talking to yourself and treating yourself, you think the only way out is to quit. It is not the only way. The only way to not feel terrible when going after a goal is to not say terrible things to you. And to not treat yourself terribly. How terrible would it be to quit on something that means so much to you? That would be terrible, right? Because then you have a whole other host of feelings of, ‘I walked away from something I love simply because I was being mean to me.’ (18:41 | Leslie)
Connect With Leslie:
Sign-up for Mindset, Meditation, & Metabolism: https://www.leasure-life.com/give-yourself-the-gift
Book a Call with Leslie: https://calendly.com/lesliethelifecoach/self-confidence-consult
Six Steps to Help Your Teen Cultivate Confidence: https://www.confidencecoachforgirls.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_coach_chronicles/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CoachChronicles/
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
“It’s a holistic experience, not a fleeting moment. It’s a practice,” says Jill Rivkin. Ahead of her 40th birthday, Jill decided to participate in a challenge. For 40 days she wrote down everything she was grateful for, down to the way her son belly laughed while playing with his Legos, and shared it on social media. These popular posts evolved into the blog Grateful Girl, which eventually led to her co-founding Gratitude Generation, a nonprofit organization committed to inspiring gratitude in future generations through service and education. Though she’s a “glass half full” person by nature, Jill insists that we can all rewire our brains to adopt a gratitude mindset, even as life becomes more complicated and the world an increasingly scary place.
When we act with gratitude, everyone wins. Jill discusses the ripple effect that Gratitude Generation has created throughout her community as well as the benefits gratitude provides to our physical health. For teens who are self-absorbed by nature, the practice cultivates an awareness of the world around them, and helps to build their self-confidence.
It's a practice that anyone–no matter what they are going through or what lifestyle they lead—can begin incorporating into their daily habits. Join Jill and Leslie as they discuss their own teenagers’ experience with Gratitude Generation and the major difference between gratitude and happiness.
Quotes
- “I see the world for what it offers me, I see people for what they give me. My mom once told me it was a beautiful trait I have for loving everybody in my world for what they can give me and not judging them for what they can’t.” (6:46 | Jill)
- “Sometimes we're not ready for gratitude. Sometimes things suck or sometimes things are stressful. Sometimes things are emotional, sad, all of it. Gratitude will help us dig out of every single one of those emotions. But when the time is right. (13:59 | Jill)
- “It's a holistic experience. It's not a fleeting moment. It's a practice.” (16:49 | Jill)
- “Leslie, you mentioned your ‘buzz.’ So at Gratitude Generation, we like to call it a glow. Because you know, we love a good acronym. So Gratitude Lights Our World. Because we like to glow. And so you can be buzzed, you can be glowing, you can all have it. But you're absolutely right in that you feel something.” (24:00 | Jill)
- “The ripple effect, besides the feel good, the buzz, the glow, all that, is it is incredibly healthy. This is really truly scientifically proven to be good for you to give for yourself, to give of yourself to take care of yourself by doing things that make you feel good.” (29:04 | Jill)
- “Gratitude is not limited to people who have certain things or live certain lives. It's such an important part of every human's thinking that whether you have a lot or you have a little gratitude can be found.” (34:38 | Jill)
Learn more about Gratitude Generation: https://www.gratitudegeneration.org/
Connect With Leslie:
Six Steps to Help Your Teen Cultivate Confidence: https://www.confidencecoachforgirls.com/
Book a Confidence Cultivator Call with Leslie: https://calendly.com/lesliethelifecoach/self-confidence-consult?month=2023-11
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_coach_chronicles/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CoachChronicles/
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
With so much going wrong in the world today, it’s no wonder we’re all so stressed, both mentally and physically. Worse, our coping mechanisms–endless scrolling, complaining to each other and compiling our fears, emotionally spiraling–do nothing to alleviate the problem. In fact, they only create more problems. On today’s episode, Leslie offers a better solution, one that’s free and accessible to all of us at this very moment– positive thinking.
It should be said up front: this is not an escape from negative emotions. It is a deliberate practice which requires that you channel your emotional energy with intention. As Leslie always says, it’s a privilege to feel all emotions. This process is about shifting focus, empowering yourself with coping skills and reaping the benefits that follow like pain relief, resistance to illness and reduced risk from death and prolonged life.
You deserve to feel happy and hopeful and, as a result, do good works for others in return. After all, positive energy is contagious.
Quotes
- “If you are a human living on planet Earth right now, chances are positivity has been a challenge.” (1:56 | Leslie)
- “I will say it again and again. It is our privilege as humans to feel and feel it all. We only know the goodness of life's best and most beautiful moments because we've experienced life's lows. We've experienced setbacks. We've experienced sadness. It is forever a balance, a yin and a yang.” (4:31 | Leslie)
- “Findings out of John Hopkins, which kind of echo what Mayo Clinic found, show that people with a family history of heart disease, who also had a positive outlook, were 1/3 less likely to have a heart attack or other cardiovascular event within five to 25 years than those with a more negative outlook.” (8:24 | Leslie)
- “Positivity can do that. It's infectious, it's magnetic. It's an energy people want to be around. And it's not one size fits all. Don't go and be me. My brand of positivity might not be the same as yours. Find yours. Tap into it with intention for you, first and foremost. But then there's beautiful byproducts of it, right? You might just lift someone else up. What a beautiful thing to do today in the world that we're living in.” (11:28 | Leslie)
- “This is not you know, flipping the switch and being like, I'm never gonna think a negative thought again. That's not the point here. But I want you to be mindful with that negativity.” (14:08 | Leslie)
Connect With Leslie:
Six Steps to Help Your Teen Cultivate Confidence: https://www.confidencecoachforgirls.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_coach_chronicles/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CoachChronicles/
Book a FREE Confidence Cultivator Call: https://calendly.com/lesliethelifecoach/self-confidence-consult
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
Are you unintentionally hindering your teenager's journey to independence? Dr. Leigh Weisz sheds light on a paradox: In our bid to protect our kids, are we actually robbing them of essential life skills? In this episode of Why Didn’t They Tell Us, Dr. Weisz joins the discussion to tell us what we can do as parents of teenagers to ensure they grow into confident and independent adults. So many of today’s parents, despite all of their good intentions, are trying to rescue their kids from feeling any kind of discomfort. From the embarrassment of forgetting to bring their homework to class to the complicated feelings of grief, parents are robbing their kids of the self-sufficiency, problem-solving skills, and emotional resilience required to be healthy and productive adults. Parents need to give their teens the space to fail, be sad, and struggle while learning new skills. This is easier said than done as it requires that parents must endure their own emotional discomfort in the process.
We live in a world where parents are more overloaded than ever with responsibilities and expectations. Simultaneously, especially for more affluent families, an increasing number of modern conveniences mean it’s faster and easier to never have a teenager have to do anything for themselves. Dr. Weisz explains what parents can do–and stop doing–to give kids more responsibilities and consequences, as well as opportunities to earn rewards for themselves.
For parents who are bombarded with too much–often conflicting–information about how to raise their kids, Dr. Weisz refreshingly recommends doing (a little) less rather than more. She shares her parenting “greatest hits,” explains why it’s a mistake to give your child a debit card and why getting admitted into the Ivy League means nothing if you can’t do your own laundry.
Quotes
- “One characteristic I think is really important to have is grit. Angela Duckworth coined that term. It's really the ability to persevere through challenges, not to give up right away at the first moment of discomfort or challenge.” (7:38 | Dr. Weisz)
- “It's about stepping back, not hovering or being a helicopter parent quite as much–again no one has bad intentions when they do this, and of course, we all do this sometimes–but trying to protect them less, and allow them to figure it out a little bit more.” (13:32 | Dr. Weisz)
- “The idea that the parents would allow them to also experience some meanness and know that they can develop skills, whether it's asserting themselves, choosing the right people to hang out with, standing up for themselves, making a change in lunch tables, whatever those skills are. They can handle it, even though it is uncomfortable, and we wish it wasn't uncomfortable for them, but not trying to rescue them from experience.” (17:14 | Dr. Weisz)
- “We've had clients in our practice come to us who were very academically superior, we'll call them. They got into Ivy League colleges and couldn't stay freshman year because they couldn't navigate the situations without their parents. So, it's not just academics, it's not just if they’re smart kids. Do they have these other skills that we're trying to prepare them for, and confidence that they can do it without their parents right there?” (25:38 | Dr. Weisz)
- “Give yourself permission as a parent to sit back and relax a little bit more than we probably all do in your parenting style. Let them do more and you do less would be the overarching message…As much as you want to be able to fix everything and be there, sometimes just listening and being a support along this journey is the best thing you can do.” (35:23 | Dr. Weisz)
Learn more about Coping Partners: https://copingpartners.com/
Connect With Leslie:
Six Steps to Help Your Teen Cultivate Confidence: https://www.confidencecoachforgirls.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_coach_chronicles/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CoachChronicles/
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
"Communication is the core of everything.” Jordyn Scorpio is the Director of Community Education at SHALVA, the oldest independent Jewish domestic abuse agency in the United States. As part of her Seven Circles program, she helps to educate Jewish couples on abuse prevention, which starts with identifying the differences between healthy, unhealthy and abusive relationships, which exist on a spectrum. Healthy relationships include healthy conflict which provide opportunities for both individuals to learn and grow, while at the heart of abuse is a need to assert power and control over someone. This is why listening to your gut instinct–whether you are the one in the relationship, or a concerned loved one—is so important: if something seems weird, it’s weird, says Jordyn.
Signs of abuse, however subtle, present themselves early and they can get buried under a lot of confusing messaging. It’s easy to be blinded by abusers’ high status or social charm, and it’s true that even abusive relationships can include a lot of love. Jordyn reveals personality traits that abusers commonly exhibit as well as red flags to look out for when anyone starts a new relationship.
Parents can introduce prevention education to their teenagers, spotting yellow flags and opening up conversations about them. This includes questioning portrayals of love and romance in film as well as appointing a safe adult to confide in.
In a world filled with diverse relationship dynamics, understanding and recognizing the spectrum of characteristics from what is healthy to what is dangerous is so important. Jordyn's insights offer not only a guide to navigating our own relationships but how we can support others to create safe and nurturing connections.
Quotes
- “Conflict can be really healthy. If there's conflict happening, that means that you're both two independent people with independent lives, opinions and voices. And that breeds conflict sometimes. But that's a beautiful thing to have in a relationship.” (12:12 | Jordyn)
- “What's difficult about the topic of domestic abuse in general is it's hard for people to distinguish between healthy, unhealthy and abusive. It is on a spectrum. And if it was really easy to define, and very black and white, then it would be easy to say, ‘This isn't good, I'm getting out.’” (13:41 | Jordyn)
- “Trust your gut. If you feel like something was weird, something was weird. We're really trained as young women to not trust our guts and to be the nice person.” (18:15 | Jordyn)
- “At the core of it, it is about power and control. That is the definition. It's about somebody asserting power and control over somebody else. And they just find different tools to do it since the dawn of time.” (25:53 | Jordyn)
- “The idea that hurt people hurt people is very relevant in an abusive relationship. All of these people doing this are not sociopaths. They likely saw abuse in their homes and that's how they saw love.” (29:53 | Jordyn)
SHALVA Resources and Support:
If you are in urgent need of support, SHALVA’s Help/Crisis Line is open 24/7, call 1-773-583-HOPE (4673)
Learn more about SHALVA: www.shalvacares.org
Follow SHALVA on Facebook & Instagram @shalvachicago
Learn more about Seven Circles: www.sevencirclesjourney.org
Follow Seven Circles on Facebook & Instagram @sevencircleschicago
Connect With Leslie:
Six Steps to Help Your Teen Cultivate Confidence: https://www.confidencecoachforgirls.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_coach_chronicles/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CoachChronicles/
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
“What's crazy is I've never been happier. I've never felt more alive,” says Leslie’s sister, Laura. This is a surprising and admirable reaction to the events of the last three years which have included several major health problems, the most recent of which is a breast cancer diagnosis. Laura joins the podcast just before entering her next round of cancer treatment, to share the lessons she has learned and continues to learn from these challenges and how they have shaped her incredibly positive mindset. Starting four years ago, with the help of a life coach, she learned how to reparent her inner child and change the negative image she had carried about herself throughout her life. After all, we can’t control what happens to us but we can control how we respond to it and the meaning we choose to assign to it.
Now in the midst of her cancer journey, Laura chooses gratitude. Gratitude for her supportive husband, for her incredibly understanding boss and co-workers, and for the money to afford medical treatment. The many changes, including to her body, are opportunities for growth and surrender. She discusses the many ways people have reached out in support, including quite literally taking the shirts off of their backs in a show of camaraderie.
So many people are touched by this disease, and Laura recognizes that there is no one way to deal with it. Still, she offers advice for those going through it and those who want to show support.
Quotes
• “Without question the last three years of my life have been the best years of my life.” (7:20 | Laura)
• “Things are always going to happen. We have an opportunity, whether we realize it or not, to assign meaning and value to those data points. And I think most of the time, we don't have a conscious moment of recognition that, okay, I'm making this thing that happened mean something. There's what happened, there's how I feel about it, and then there’s what I assign in terms of value.” (10:29 | Laura)
• “I can control how I want to approach this. I have made a conscious choice to not spend my energy trying to keep things the same. Because that's a waste. Nothing is going to be the same. I can resist the change or I can embrace the change. And, embrace, not just accept, find ways to find joy in the change.” (16:28 | Laura)
• “We are typically so hard on ourselves. And, every time we think something negative or do something that doesn't serve us. It's usually being fueled by or informed by the little girl inside of us who is scared of not getting what she needs.” (19:27 | Laura)
• “That's the lesson learned, that I am so powerful, that I am so resilient that I’m unstoppable. If I can do that, I can do anything.” (24:29 | Laura)
• “I realized I could control more than just my mindset. I could be very tactical in terms of how I can create comfort and really prepare myself in every way for each step of this process.” (28:47 | Laura)
• “Chances are, they've been touched by this, too. Which means there are so many people who will come out of the woodwork offering guidance and support and recommendations, who are willing to literally take their shirts off.” (36:22 | Laura)
• “Every day was another reminder that I was loved. And that I had support and that people had me in their thoughts and in their prayers. Yeah, it was almost, it was almost overwhelming, to be honest. But it buoys you.” (38:11 | Laura)
Resources: https://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/
Connect With Leslie:
Six Steps to Help Your Teen Cultivate Confidence: https://www.confidencecoachforgirls.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_coach_chronicles/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CoachChronicles/
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
“When we take time to slow down and really tap into our cyclical superpowers,” says Ashlee Sorensen, certified menstrual and hormone coach, “We start to realize that we are divinely created, that we have a purpose. And it looks different for everybody.” Every point in a woman’s monthly cycle heightens different traits and provides different opportunities, including the opportunity for her to retreat inward, introspect and receive what Ashlee calls “divine downloads” which help us better align with who she is and what she wants. The problem is, most of us are “rushing women,” competing in a man’s world, and are encouraged to push through our physical and emotional menstrual symptoms. Yet, by becoming more aware of our own cycles and those of our daughters, we can better communicate with each other, show compassion to each other when we need it, and help lift the stigma and mystery that still exists around menstruation.
Some women may be in menopause or perimenopause while their daughters are menstruating, another major era in a woman’s life that continues to be shrouded in mystery and shame. Menopause, too, provides opportunities for evolution and rebirth, and for confronting issues that may be leftover from adolescence. Again, fostering awareness of these changes can help mothers parent better by establishing boundaries and taking time out for self.
Everyone’s “cycle strategy” for optimizing their hormones is unique, but Ashlee offers some general tips that can be helpful to all of us, including certain dietary restrictions and avoiding using birth control to manage period symptoms. Join the discussion to find out how to slow down, and tap into your body’s natural window for resetting and growth.
Quotes
• “When I say it's going to help you find your purpose, it's because really the menstrual cycle is an initiatory process. It has the power to take us from where we are currently and transform us, renew us, every month.” (8:44 | Ashlee)
• “Your hormones literally affect everything and nobody's talking about it. We live in a man's world and we're just expected to function as such. And that's not fair because we're not men. That's why so many women feel overwhelmed and stressed out. And you know, like they aren't enough because we are women trying to survive in a man's world.” (18:51 | Ashlee)
• “It's not a permission slip to check out on life. It's an opportunity for introspection.” (19:35 | Leslie)
• “We can start paying attention to our needs, we can start doing the introspection that is needed for personal evolution, and we're not honoring it. And that's what I mean when I say like, oh, that's why so many women feel resentful. Because we're not taking that time to come inward. And there's literally a space designed in the menstrual cycle to allow you to do that.” (20:35 | Ashlee)
• “Perimenopause has been called the second puberty because our body is changing…if things weren't handled, like maybe you've got body image issues or, you know, issues around food, that stuff can creep back up when you're in perimenopause.” (35:41 | Ashlee)
• “How cool is it that we get to push the reset button? Quite literally, every month when we start a new bleed. What do I want to do differently this month?” (40:27 | Ashlee)
Connect with Ashlee Sorensen:
A Bit Better Every Day podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-bit-better-every-day/id1563496116
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/heyashleenoel/?hl=en
Courses: https://ashleesorensen.podia.com/
Connect With Leslie:
Six Steps to Help Your Teen Cultivate Confidence: https://www.confidencecoachforgirls.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_coach_chronicles/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CoachChronicles/
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
“Try as we may, we cannot control the world.” On today’s solo episode, Leslie shares a story of the time she played a sprite in her high school’s production of Shakespeare’s The Tempest. As fondly as she recalls her time on stage, she also relives the panic she felt when something went terribly wrong during a live performance. It was her friend and fellow sprite Jessie’s reaction to the situation that taught her an invaluable lesson about self-confidence. Confidence is one of the most important tools a person can have in their toolkit and is required when doing everything from forging new friendships to starting new chapters in life.
At its core, self-confidence is a matter of trusting oneself and one’s ability to cope. Contrary to popular belief, certain people aren’t born confident, while others are less lucky. Rather, self-confidence is a skill that anyone can build starting with our mindset and the way we talk to ourselves.
Women especially need to work on this skill as we’re taught to believe we can’t handle adversity. Leslie offers tips on writing your own unique self-confidence script to help you start to build your confidence today!
Quotes
• “In my 40 years of lessons learned, this is one that I know for sure, my friends: life will never go exactly as planned.” (6:47 | Leslie)
• “While we can't control the world, we can always control who we are, and how we respond when things don't go as planned. And that starts with what we think.” (8:09 | Leslie)
• “Notice how those thoughts of ‘Uh-oh,’ or ‘I don't know what to do.’ Those thoughts are roadblocks to action. They induce panic. They keep you stuck, confused, paralyzed–fill in your flavor of feeling.” (9:06 | Leslie)
• “Self-confidence is contingent upon self-trust.” (10:52 | Leslie)
• “Self confidence is available to all of us. Self confidence is not a genetic lottery ticket that some of us win at birth. Self confidence is a choice you make when you choose to love, trust and believe in you. And that's a choice you can always make.” (12:52 | Leslie)
“We as women are conditioned to believe we can't, in fact, handle it.” (13:58 | Leslie)
“Why don't they tell us that the thoughts we think will determine how we show up on stage and in life?” (19:04 | Leslie)
Connect With Leslie:
Leslie's Self-Love Library: https://www.coachchronicles.com/lovelibrary
Six Steps to Help Your Teen Cultivate Confidence: https://www.confidencecoachforgirls.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_coach_chronicles/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CoachChronicles/
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
“As moms, we’re big problem solvers,” says Kate O’Rourke, certified life coach and host of the Reclaim Your Life with Kate podcast, who joins Leslie on the show to discuss the increased rate of anxiety experienced by teens–particularly girls–in the wake of the pandemic. As a school psychologist, Kate is well versed in the issues anxious teens face as they return to school–including a major resistance to doing just that.
As a single mother of two, she also understands the tendency for mothers to feel guilty about their children’s anxiety issues and their often ill-advised attempts to solve the problem. Recognizing that anxiety is a natural and necessary response, she explains the difference between a “normal” level of anxiety in response to, say, tests and grades, versus something more debilitating.
As the ones who know their children best, parents should trust their instincts to tell them if something is off and whether it’s time to seek professional guidance for their kids. For their part, moms can practice modeling, validating the child’s feelings (something parents often fail to do when they think they’re being “supportive”), asking the child to gauge the severity of their perceived threat, and engaging in co-regulation. Teen girls, especially, are facing increasing pressure to be perfect, and parents should be honest about where those pressures are coming from.
Your teen may not necessarily respond right away and that’s OK, too. The point is to take self-inventory without any of the shame or guilt moms too often place on themselves.
Quotes
• “We all have anxiety. It's there for a purpose, right? It's for survival. If we weren't anxious about the noise that we heard in the bushes, if we didn't worry that it might be a tiger and act and run away, we're getting eaten by the tiger. So anxiety is a survival technique that is still necessary.” (8:26 | Kate)
• “In situations where if you think that you would be nervous or anxious about something, it would be typical that your teen would be anxious in that moment. But when it's really impacting them, if they're not going out with friends anymore like they used to, if they love basketball, but they won't try out for the team, if it's just really impacting the things that they used to enjoy and they're, they're not able to get over those hurdles, then it might be a sign that it's time to reach out and get some help.” (10:53 | Kate)
• “It's very easy to question as a mom, when your kid engages in what are just typical developmental behaviors, if there's something really wrong, I need to be concerned, this is a problem I have to solve.’ We're big problem solvers.” (13:26 | Kate)
• “As a mom, what we often want to say is, ‘Oh, sweetie, you have straight A's, you're so smart, you're going to be fine.’ You're gonna find that can feel really invalidating to someone that is in that spiral. It can also send the message that you shouldn't feel anxious right now, this is something wrong with you.” (16:18 | Kate)
• “I say this with so much love as an anxious mom that has an anxious child, we model that for them. And so the best way to help your kid is for you to go first. If you recognize this in yourself, if you even related to the anxious spiral that we're talking about, the best way to help them is for you to go first and learn about your own brain and your own system and why anxiety is there and how to handle it because then you can offer that to them.” (24:44 | Kate)
Connect with Kate O'Rourke:
https://calendly.com/kateorourkecoach/60min?month=2023-08
Connect With Leslie:
Six Steps to Help Your Teen Cultivate Confidence: https://wondrous-leader-9073.ck.page/bc048dbe7b
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_coach_chronicles/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CoachChronicles/
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
“We are all built with and for magic,” says Kanoa Greene, internationally celebrated fitness trainer and outdoor adventurer. As a plus-sized leader and new face of the industry, Kanoa is breaking down barriers and introducing much-needed representation, inclusion and belonging to those spaces. Though she was trained as an opera singer and was a success in the corporate world, Kanoa followed her authentic desire to take up fitness and inspire others by sharing her story. Bringing diversity to every aspect of fitness, she has since worked with several major brands and become the first plus-sized trainer to appear on Good Morning America.
Forging your own path is rarely a linear journey. You will make mistakes and that’s OK. Kanoa relied on a supportive network who believed in her–even when they didn’t understand her mission–until she could empower herself. Now, she works to inspire others to empower themselves in return.
Everyone has a story that the world needs to hear. Kanoa’s story proves that even without a roadmap, by following your own inner voice and overcoming your fears, you can tap into your own unique brand of magic.
Quotes
“As fearful as I was in taking those steps, I just continue to do it. I continue to show up for me. And over time I realized I was helping other people. I was helping my mother, I was helping my best friend,I was helping my best friend's mother. It was just all of these little things and then I got to see value in in me, right? Even in the body that I'm in right now, even being on my own journey, I still have sparkle in me that is shining and can help someone else on their journey.” (11:12 | Kanoa)
“I had to spend time alone just knowing in my heart that I made the right decision and that the right thing is going to come to me. It worked out when I left the music amazingly. So I had to believe that following my gut was the right thing and that the right thing was going to open up.” (15:49 | Kanoa)
“It’s okay to doubt and it's okay to have a lot of fear and to struggle through it. I mean, I would say it wasn't pretty. People would look at maybe my social media now and just seems like oh, it's all glamorous. But it was not glamorous early on, butI think it was extremely important for me to have the people that truly had my best interest at heart and were going, they were in it. It was like heels in the ground. They were going to help propel me forward with as much love and support as they could until I was ready to fly on my own.” (20:26 | Kanoa)
“When you're younger, especially when you're in your teens, there's a lot of insecurity. For me, I never felt like I belonged to my body. Iit felt so awkward and it felt like navigating through life was hard. It was challenging” (37:38 | Kanoa)
“I felt inside of me that I was made for something bigger. It’s like sometimes you just feel like you are special, but the outside world tells you that maybe you're not and you really don't know where you belong or how it's gonna play out. And you don't have the answers, so you don't know that it is gonna work out. What I would tell myself is that feeling inside of you, it is so valid and it feels big for a reason because it is big. It is bigger than anything anyone could ever imagine for you. And so it's gonna feel awkward because you have this big ball of magic inside of you that is bursting to come out.” (37:57 | Kanoa)
Connect with Kanoa Greene:
Find Kanoa on IG: https://www.instagram.com/kanoagreene/
Connect With Leslie:
Six Steps to Help Your Teen Cultivate Confidence: https://www.confidencecoachforgirls.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_coach_chronicles/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CoachChronicles/
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
“Even the most successful person feels doubt and anxiety. No one is free of it,” Leslie explains on this solo episode of “Why Didn’t They Tell Us?” Doubt and anxiety act as an alarm system telling us something is wrong. But when we experience these feelings in everyday life, as a result of our negative thoughts, and worst-case-scenario thinking–”I can’t do it and here’s everything that will go wrong if I try”—they act as the greatest barriers to our self-confidence and to our goals and dreams. Luckily, our thoughts are not truths and we don’t have to believe them. In fact, our brains don’t want us to fail or feel negative emotions– so when we feel them (which we will) it only leads to more feelings of danger.
Yet, we all feel anxiety and doubt—at an astonishingly high and persistent rate as it turns out–including Leslie. The point is not to resist them–which only makes them grow stronger–but to learn to process them, and on today’s episode, Leslie gives us the tools to do just that. She gives us N.E.R.V.E.--a five-step approach to turn the volume down on the negative emotions so that we turn the volume up on the good stuff.
Self-confidence is a journey and not a destination. Anxiety and doubt are part of the package. By giving them their rightful space without giving our whole selves over to them, we create more room for self-confidence and the pursuit of our dreams and goals.
Quotes
• “The truth is, that every feeling– the good and the bad, self confidence, doubt, courage, bravery, fill in your flavor of your favorite emotion, or least favorite–they're part of the human experience. All of them. No human alive is immune to feeling all the feels.” (2:29 | Leslie)
• “Remember: it's not the emotions that are the issue. It’s what we do and don't do when we feel them, and what we make them mean about ourselves that becomes the barrier to self confidence.” (7:24 | Leslie)
• “Self confidence and self love are subtle. It's almost like a whisper, ‘You've got this. I believe in you.’ But doubt and anxiety, and the thoughts that cause them are louder. They're boisterous. They demand our attention. It's an alarm sounding, ‘Something is wrong. You aren't equipped for this. You can't do it.’” (9:22 | Leslie)
• “The goal really is to stop emotions from stopping you.” (16:48 | Leslie)
Connect With Leslie:
Sign Up for Yes You Can: Self-Confidence Simplified: https://wondrous-leader-9073.ck.page/07162712a8
Six Simple Steps to Help Your Teen Cultivate Confidence: https://wondrous-leader-9073.ck.page/bc048dbe7b
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_coach_chronicles/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CoachChronicles/
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
In this episode of Why Didn't They Tell Us?, Dr. Lisa Folden, a licensed physical therapist, behavior change specialist, and anti-diet health coach, shares a powerful message: "We're more than a body." Growing up, Dr. Lisa was influenced by the persuasive tactics of the diet industry, which led her to believe that weight determined both health and happiness. However, her perspective drastically changed after becoming a mother to three children, transforming her relationship with her body and her approach to her profession.
Dr. Lisa provides valuable insights and practical advice for mothers who wish to nurture healthy self-esteem and body image in their daughters. She emphasizes that the words we choose to speak, as well as the ones we leave unsaid, significantly shape our children's perceptions. Moreover, our actions when we think our children aren't watching also have a profound impact. Dr. Lisa advocates for the separation of weight and food from notions of health and morality, encouraging parents to allow their children to make autonomous food choices.
Acknowledging the current generation's focus on diversity and inclusivity, Dr. Lisa highlights how this mindset naturally paves the way for body acceptance. She further emphasizes the importance of recognizing that our bodies are designed to change throughout our lives. Ultimately, Dr. Lisa reminds us that our bodies should be the least fascinating aspect about us, and that our true worth resides both internally and externally.
Quotes
• “So many mothers, we are trying our very best. None of us have it all figured out…and that's okay.” (17:51-18:31 | Dr. Lisa)
• “We won't comment on our children's bodies directly, but they hear us commenting on ours.” (19:12-19:17 | Dr. Lisa)
• “Oftentimes our children are picking up on the subtle things that we do…even though we don't ever directly say ‘Being fat is bad, don't get fat.’” (20:07-20:54 | Dr. Lisa)
• “We’re creating a culture where we think it's OK to comment on other people's bodies or make suggestions about their bodies.” (25:50-26:12 | Dr. Lisa)
• “Engaging in these conversations, kids can understand that bodies are supposed to be different…nothing's wrong with them.” (27:59-28:37 | Dr. Lisa)
• “Food is not moral…for ourselves or for our kids.” (37:51-38:06 | Dr. Lisa)
• “Nothing is forever. Your body is supposed to change…you will do yourself justice as you age.” (40:13-40:46 | Dr. Lisa)
• “You are far more valuable than what your body looks like.” (41:17-41:20 | Dr. Lisa)
• “If you don't believe in affirmations…get yourself some affirmations related to body image.” (44:02-44:31 | Dr. Lisa)
Connect with Dr. Lisa Folden:
Learn more: https://www.healthyphit.com/
Instagram: @healthyphit
YouTube: @HealthyPhitPT
Facebook: @HealthyPhit
Connect With Leslie:
Six Steps to Help Your Teen Cultivate Confidence: https://www.confidencecoachforgirls.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_coach_chronicles/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CoachChronicles/
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
Meet Audrey Grunst, the incredible licensed clinical social worker, founder, and CEO of Simply Bee treatment centers, as well as the author of the uplifting book "Five Steps to Grow a Resilient Mind." Audrey is a true force of positivity and has an amazing story to share.
Last year, Audrey spearheaded an incredible initiative that brought together 700 therapists to provide vital counseling to those affected individuals who received this much-needed support. Talk about a powerful display of compassion and resilience by the devastating mass shooting in Leslie's hometown of Highland Park, IL.
In this episode, Audrey emphasizes the often-overlooked importance of self-awareness in healing trauma. She encourages us to pay attention to our own urges and physical sensations, which play a significant role in the recovery process. Audrey also reminds us to honor those who display incredible resilience and may not develop traumatic responses to distressing events. Let go of guilt and shame, especially for parents who may have missed the signs, and embrace a gentle and compassionate approach towards ourselves using our "bestie brain" instead of our "bully brain."
Join the conversation, as Audrey's wisdom, experiences, and powerful strategies pave the way for growth, healing, and embracing resilience like never before.
Quotes
• “The urge and the physical sensations are more important than labeling thoughts and emotions…If we did urge noticing, and we did physical sensation noticing, we would have prevented a million other thoughts and emotions because we would have kind of taken care of business.” (17:52-18:19 | Audrey)
• “We're acting out the pain through media or activities that might look healthy…But…ask yourself, ‘Is this matching my healthy values and helping me grow? Or is this furthering my expression of the trauma?” (26:37-27:22 | Audrey)
• “Life was never meant to be easy…you will be stronger and better afterwards, even if in the moment you don't feel that way. So think about ‘What do I need today? What do I need this week? What do I need in the next month, to grow and to heal?” (34:48-35:33 | Audrey)
• “Resiliency, in my mind, is hard work, lots of celebration, lots of new things, novelty…How do we find that healthy outlet rather than the reactive outlet towards ourselves.” (36:21-36:46 | Audrey)
Connect with Audrey Grunst:
To learn more about Audrey & Simply Bee, please visit: https://www.simplybeecounseling.net
Mental Health Resources: https://www.simplybeecounseling.net/resources
Well, Not Perfect Podcast: https://www.simplybeecounseling.net/podcast
Schedule A Therapy Appointment: https://www.simplybeecounseling.net/aboutus
Connect With Leslie:
Six Steps to Help Your Teen Cultivate Confidence: https://www.confidencecoachforgirls.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_coach_chronicles/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CoachChronicles/
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
In a conversation on today’s episode of Why Didn't They Tell Us, Leslie’s long-time friend Jessie Fisher talks about setting the stage for self-confidence and the importance of staying curious and joyful even in the face of adversity.
Today, Jessie is known for being many things–an award winning actress, composer, educator and even a certified doula. However, this long list of accomplishments and accolades weren’t always who she was. After originally not getting accepted into a theater conservatory, Jessie placed her love of theater on the backburner. Even though she temporarily stepped away, Jessie’s passion and love for acting never wavered. Ultimately, she paved her own path to fulfill her lifelong dream of making it to Broadway. And it was her self-confidence that set the stage for Jessie to find success not only in acting, but in the many roles she has played in life.
The path to success is never straightforward. And along the way, you will find many bumps in the road. However, when you have confidence in yourself, nothing and nobody can stop you from becoming the person you’ve always dreamed of being.
Quotes:
• “The more we witness and have that awareness of what's outside of us, the more you get to be kinder to yourself and kinder to humanity as a whole…It can be hard, but that is the human condition.” (9:48-10:10 | Jessie)
• “I didn't get into any of the programs. I knew in my heart that I loved it, but that maybe getting there was going to be a different path. And, as long as I love what I love, I'm going to find ways to keep loving it.” (16:34-17:00 | Jessie)
• “If I am so stuck on what I've told myself I am and what my identifiers are from age 7 on, what am I missing out on seeing? What am I closing out?” (18:06-18:19 | Jessie)
• “If someone's mean to me…I immediately am like, ‘What did I do? What's wrong with me?’. Instead of being like, ‘I wonder what's going on with them?’.” (23:17-23:30 | Jessie)
• “The things I've done are objectively successful. I'm in my third Broadway show as a theater actor, that's pretty good. But I don't let someone else's idea of that success interfere with why it means something to me. And it's good to let it wash over you when you have great achievements and let other people being impressed by you make you feel good. And then I gently asked myself, "Why does it feel good just for me in the secret world of my brain?” (26:39-27:13 | Jessie)
Connect With Leslie:
Six Steps to Help Your Teen Cultivate Confidence: https://wondrous-leader-9073.ck.page/bc048dbe7b
Website: https://www.confidencecoachforgirls.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_coach_chronicles/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CoachChronicles/
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
"No, no, I will not speak to myself that way. No one speaks to me that way, not even me,” shares Sara Fisk. Sara, a Master Certified Instructor and Coach specializing in coaching women who struggle with people-pleasing, perfectionism, and codependency.
In a conversation with Leslie on today’s episode of Why Didn't They Tell Us, they delve into the significance of silencing the inner bully. They explore effective techniques like the hard pass and loving engagement to combat negative self-talk, as well as shed light on the prevalence of people-pleasing behaviors and how to overcome them. Emphasizing the importance of treating oneself with kindness and avoiding self-criticism, especially during uncomfortable situations, they also dive into the primal programming that fosters people-pleasing tendencies and the consequences of disappointing others.
Quotes
• “I think one of the most essential lessons that we are not taught is that there is no growth without some discomfort. It just doesn't happen.” (18:06-18:18 | Sara)
• “I can handle disappointing another person because I have my own back. So that is why this work of eliminating the bully and being in your bestie voice with yourself is so essential. Because when we go out into the world to try new things, it's scary and uncomfortable. And if on top of the scary and uncomfortable, we're going to be really mean to ourselves, that's really hard to do.” (34:16-34:45 | Sara)
• “Our thoughts come into our brain in our own voice. And they're hard to detect as bullying. They start very young, and we aren't aware of it until we feel really bad. And sometimes the question to start with is, how am I talking to myself?” (22:06-22:44 | Sara)
Connect with Sara Fisk:
Website: https://www.sarafisk.coach/
Follow Sara: https://www.instagram.com/sarafiskcoach/
Listen to Sara: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/the-ex-good-girl-podcast/id1672086651
Connect With Leslie:
Get Leslie's Free Guide: Six Simple Steps to Help Your Teen Cultivate Self-Confidence | https://wondrous-leader-9073.ck.page/bc048dbe7b
https://www.confidencecoachforgirls.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_coach_chronicles/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CoachChronicles/
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
“You can feel self confident today by making the choice to think highly of you and to love and believe in that human,” shares host Leslie Randolph, self-confidence coach for confident teens and confident women. Your thoughts determine your feelings, and self-confidence is a feeling. This means that you can choose to feel self-confident by changing the way you think about yourself. There are no pre-requisites for self-confidence and you do not have to wait for some external factor to happen in order to begin loving and trusting yourself.
It is easy to fall into the trap of believing that your thoughts are facts, especially when the brain is so good at seeking out evidence in your life to support those beliefs. However, the way you choose to think about yourself is exactly that, a choice. You can choose to think differently and step out from behind those limiting beliefs and labels that you have placed on yourself. When you choose to trust in yourself, love yourself, and believe in yourself, you will begin to feel more self-confidence.
You can start feeling self-confident right away by deciding to change the way you think about yourself. Don’t let limiting beliefs about yourself hold you back from going after your goals and the life you want. You are worthy of self-confidence just by being yourself.
Quotes
• “Your thinking is not facts, it's not truth. Your thoughts are just sentences in your brain that you have chosen to believe.” (8:01-8:12 | Leslie)
• “We give ourselves these limiting labels based on the thoughts that we think about ourselves.” (8:46-8:51 | Leslie)
• “Why didn't they tell me that self confidence was simply a choice I could make when I loved and believed in me?” (10:28-10:37 | Leslie)
• “Self confidence is a feeling. And like all feelings, it comes from your thinking.” (13:17-13:23 | Leslie)
• “You can feel self confident today by making the choice to think highly of you and to love and believe in that human.” (14:36-14:46 | Leslie)
• “Go after your goals and live the life of your dreams, not because it will give you that evidence you're looking for that you're worthy of self confidence. You are you, that is the only prerequisite necessary.” (15:28-15:43 | Leslie)
Connect With Leslie:
Get Leslie's Free Guide: Six Simple Steps to Help Your Teen Cultivate Self-Confidence | https://wondrous-leader-9073.ck.page/bc048dbe7b
https://www.confidencecoachforgirls.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_coach_chronicles/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CoachChronicles/
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
“It's really important in business and in life that you just stay true to your own values and you don't compromise your integrity for short term gain,” shares Lindsay Pinchuk, mompreneur, social media maven, marketing expert, community builder, and host of the Dear FoundHer podcast. Lindsay never set out to become an entrepreneur, but found that it happened naturally as she worked on building connections with other moms and other women small business owners. By showing up with authenticity and being willing to take each step as it came, Lindsay was able to grow her network organically and open more doors for her business than she had ever imagined.
It can be a scary thing to put your authentic self out there, but it is only by being yourself that you can attract the right people to your business. When you are true to yourself, you probably won’t appeal to everyone, but the people you do appeal to will be aligned with your values. To be a successful entrepreneur, you have to be willing to adapt to feedback, grow from failure, and accept that things won’t always go according to plan. Lindsay shares that she experienced many failures along the way, but that it was those lessons that helped her grow to where she is today.
If you’re trying to build your brand, the most important thing for you to do is just be yourself. When you show up as your authentic self every time and stay true to your values, you will attract like minded individuals and naturally grow your connections.
Quote
• “You really have to ask for the feedback and be willing to take it and adapt and shift. And that's just not just in business, it’s in life.” (15:00-15:06 | Lindsay)
• “You can plan all you want, but you better understand that as much as you plan, you're going to have to undo the plan, because things don't go as planned.” (17:35-17:45 | Lindsay)
• “You have to fail in order to succeed.” (18:26-18:27 | Lindsay)
• “With the lessons and the failures I firmly believe that my whole experience, the holistic experience of me forming, founding, building, scaling, selling, and even not having the outcome the way I wanted it to be, that whole holistic experience is what has allowed me to do what I do now.” (23:17-23:43 | Lindsay)
• “It's really important in business and in life that you just stay true to your own values and you don't compromise your integrity for short term gain.” (38:05-38:13 | Lindsay)
Connect with Lindsay Pinchuk:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lindsaypinchuk/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dearfoundher/
Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dear-foundher/id1591976277
Website: https://www.lindsaypinchuk.com/
Connect With Leslie:
https://www.confidencecoachforgirls.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_coach_chronicles/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CoachChronicles/
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
“If a system has been created for you and you feel it can work for you, my wish is for people to try to maintain it as best as they can,” shares Brooke Milton, The Duchess of Declutter. Brooke can remember being as young as 3 years old sorting all of her stuffed animals as a coping mechanism that helped her to feel more in control. Having an organized home has always been something that Brooke feels she cannot function effectively without. It was not until she was 39 years old that she finally found out that the reason she was different was because she was wired that way. Instead of letting her OCD diagnosis be a limitation, Brooke leaned in and turned it into her greatest gift and superpower.
Unless you are like Brooke and find home organization fun, it is probably going to be a challenge to change your habits. At the end of the day, it is all about committing to maintaining an organizational system. A professional like Brooke can help you get started, but the system will fall apart unless you choose to maintain it. Some tips for getting started are to decide on a criteria for bringing in new things and getting rid of old ones, to focus on your needs vs wants, and to not feel guilty when considering letting go of something that was given as a gift.
Your physical space is a representation of your mindset. Making small changes to your environment can make a big difference to your mindset and your life as a whole. All that stuff in your environment clutters not only your space, but your brain too. So really consider how much stuff you want taking up your brain space.
Quotes
• “The thing that makes me different is my greatest gift.” (5:57-6:00 | Brooke)
• “What I recommend is not looking at the room, or the area, or the project collectively, but having to break it down into very, very small pieces, very digestible pieces. And starting with a very quick win.” (17:10-17:26 | Brooke)
• “You have to be in a good headspace to deal with something that's not fun.” (18:05-18:10 | Brooke)
• “I love getting rid of things, but I'm not about to say that somebody can’t have a statue or a little ornament, because it represents something very significant in their lives.” (26:14-26:28 | Brooke)
• “The systems don't work if the habits don't change. Your systems are only as good as you're willing to keep them, they're not magic.” (29:24-29:31 | Brooke)
• “You have to have some criteria for filtering things in and out of your house.” (31:24-31:30 | Brooke)
• “People think we need more than we do. We don’t. We need very little.” (32:32-32:37 | Brooke)
• “If a system has been created for you and you feel it can work for you, my wish is for people to try to maintain it as best as they can.” (46:07-46:20 | Brooke)
Links:
Learn more at http://www.theduchessofdeclutter.com
follow along @TheDuchessofDeclutter on Instagram or find Brooke Milton on Facebook.
Connect With Leslie:
https://www.confidencecoachforgirls.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_coach_chronicles/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CoachChronicles/
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
“I had learned how to be a cheerleader, I had to learn how to be the motivator, I had learned how to be the person who comforted myself when I felt terrible. And that was what made me feel so good at the end, and I knew I wanted to teach other women how to do the exact same thing,” explains Corinne Crabtree, master certified weight and life coach and host of the wildly successful podcast about #NoBSweightloss, Losing 100 Pounds With Corinne. Learning to love yourself is all about re-learning how to communicate with yourself more kindly. When you change your mindset and step into self-confidence and self-love, you can accomplish anything.
Corinne was bullied extensively for her weight throughout her childhood. When Corinne became a mother and realized that at 250 pounds she did not have the energy to play with her young son the way she wanted to, she decided to get very serious about making a change. Corinne had attempted weight loss numerous times, sharing that she started going to Weight Watchers at just 11 years old. The difference between those earlier attempts and this one was that this time Corinne worked on transforming her mindset to be more motivational. Instead of being discouraged and telling herself that what she was doing was not good enough, Corinne learned how to turn off that cruel little voice and replace it with her cheerleading voice.
Take time to notice when that little voice in your head is being mean to you. Is it saying that you are not good enough or that your attempts to change are never going to work? This voice is trying to keep you safe by keeping you the same. In order to achieve lasting change, you will need to learn how to switch off this voice and instead turn on your cheerleading voice.
Quotes
• “I had learned how to be a cheerleader. I had to learn how to be the motivator. I had learned how to be the person who comforted myself when I felt terrible. And that was what made me feel so good at the end, and I knew I wanted to teach other women how to do the exact same thing.” (6:28-6:44 | Corinne)
• “It doesn't matter if you can have self love right now, the real thing is, are you willing to learn? That's the difference maker.” (8:18-8:28 | Corinne)
• “It's a skill we develop. Women, honestly, we're not taught it. No one tells us. It's not modeled for us very often. I mean, nowadays we all talk about it, but you’ve got to imagine most of us are walking around as the walking wounded. We have decades of never hearing this stuff and then we get mad at our moms. I'm like they didn’t get this either, why are we mad at her? She didn't know any better.” (9:27-9:55 | Corinne)
• “If you really want to build a better relationship with yourself, you have to listen to how often you're telling yourself and stopping yourself from progressing when you say, ‘but that's not good enough.’ And you’ve got to be real honest in that moment.” (13:54-14:09 | Corinne)
Connect with Corinne Crabtree:
Instagram - @Corinne_Crabtree
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/ NoBSBusinessWomen
Instagram - @NoBSBusinessWomen
Link to Corinne’s No BS Business Bootcamp Event: https://www.phit-n-phat.com/bootcamp-2023
Listen and Subscribe to the Losing 100 Pounds Podcast
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/losing-100-pounds-with-corinne/id1233384453
Connect With Leslie:
https://www.confidencecoachforgirls.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_coach_chronicles/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CoachChronicles/
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
“You might think it is the finish line that is the reward. The promotion, the big house, making the team or making the grade, the accolades are literally the medal at the finish line. But I promise you, the real reward is how you will feel,” explains host Leslie Randolph, self-confidence coach for confident teens and confident women. Your feelings are your greatest motivator. If you only allow yourself to feel doubt, insecurity, or anxiety throughout your journey to a goal, you may give up before reaching the finish line. Instead, celebrate every small step along the way and notice how much more motivated you feel.
When you are working on goal setting, it can be easy to think the reward is only the finish line at the end. But if you only focus on the finish line, you will miss out on all of the opportunities for celebration along the way. The pride, excitement, and accomplishment you feel from celebrating each small step will fuel you to take the next step, and then the next step, until you reach your goal. One easy way to get started is to make a list of all of your accomplishments. You’ll be so proud of yourself when you take the time to actually notice how much you have accomplished in your life.
Why didn’t they tell us to celebrate the small steps? Feeling a sense of accomplishment along the journey to your goal is what will fuel you to take the next step and to ultimately reach the finish line. Make time to regularly celebrate your achievements, no matter how small, and you will be amazed by how much more motivated and excited you are overall.
Quotes:
• “Taking the time to celebrate this step, 11 episodes published, is what is going to get me to the next step.” (3:12-3:22 | Leslie)
• “You might think it is the finish line that is the reward. The promotion, the big house, making the team or making the grade, the accolades are literally the medal at the finish line. But I promise you, the real reward is how you will feel.” (9:05-9:30 | Leslie)
• “If you feel awful the entire journey, you might not even get to that finish line.” (11:57-12:05 | Leslie)
• “If you take the time to notice and to feel pride every day, you will always be able to find something for which you are proud of.” (14:21-14:32 | Leslie)
• “If you're going after a goal, I want you to be sure that you are taking the time to celebrate the small steps.” (17:22-17:30 | Leslie)
• “Why didn't they tell us that feelings are fuel? And the feeling that we yearn for at the finish line, that is the feeling that will fuel us along the way.” (19:27-19:39 | Leslie)
Connect With Leslie:
https://www.confidencecoachforgirls.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_coach_chronicles/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CoachChronicles/
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
“It's really just taking control back into your hands with what you have control over, which is not how quickly your skin is going to heal, but how you want to show up as you're going through the healing journey itself,” explains Lydia Han, an acne mindset coach who helps women struggling with acne stop hating themselves and their skin. Lydia was inspired to become an acne mindset coach due to her own experiences with severe cystic acne in her 20s. How she felt about her acne and the stories she chose to tell herself caused her to miss out on a lot of her life, from taking a leave of absence at work to not going out with friends. Lydia shares how to regain your self-confidence and self-love by changing the stories you tell yourself about your acne and choosing to live your life anyway.
If you constantly look in the mirror and hate what you see because of your struggle with acne, you’re not alone. A lot of the pain and suffering that comes with acne is actually much more to do with your mindset than it is about the acne itself. You may not be able to control how long your skin takes to heal, but you can control how you choose to think about it and how you choose to show up in the world. It can be difficult to switch from being super negative to all of a sudden feeling positively about yourself and loving your skin, so the first step is to begin viewing acne as neutral. Choose to tell yourself a different story and to love yourself unconditionally.
Why didn’t they tell us that we can choose to tell ourselves a different story about acne? When you catch yourself having a negative thought about your skin in the mirror, take a minute to analyze that thought. How does it make you feel? Remember, you can always choose to tell yourself a different story that makes you feel better about the skin you’re in.
Quotes:
• “I can wait to live my life once my skin clears up, or I can choose to live my life in a way that I wanted to, even if it was uncomfortable, even if it required more courage and vulnerability from me.” (6:07-6:22 | Lydia)
• “Acne is just the neutral thing, but it's the stories that we tell ourselves on top of it that causes the suffering and the pain.” (11:36-11:45 | Lydia)
• “It's really just taking control back into your hands with what you have control over, which is not how quickly your skin is going to heal, but how you want to show up as you're going through the healing journey itself.” (16:23-16:37 | Lydia)
• “There's a huge difference between letting those thoughts just play in the background or catching ourselves mid-thought and then choosing, ‘do I want to think it or do I not?’.” (18:10-18:22 | Lydia)
• “Your skin is just one little aspect of who you are.” (22:37-22:40 | Lydia)
• “If you're constantly focusing on your imperfections, the breakouts on your face, the things that you don't like about yourself, you're going to see more and more of those things when you look in the mirror.” (24:15-24:26 | Lydia)
Connect with Lydia Han:
Website: https://www.authenticandalive.com/home
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/authenticandalive/
FREE Acne Mindset Training: https://www.authenticandalive.com/free-training
Connect With Leslie:
https://www.confidencecoachforgirls.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_coach_chronicles/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CoachChronicles/
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
“If I can show you with your underwear drawer where we can make some changes in your thinking, we can apply that thinking to all the other areas of your life,” explains Judith Gaton, master certified life coach, personal stylist, lawyer, and author of How to Be A Fcking Lady, A Modern Guide to Being Charming and Fierce AF*. Judith is also the founder of the Modern Charm School, a private online social club for high achieving women who want to learn more about style, generating wealth, leadership, and leaving a legacy. She shares how making even just small changes to your style can help you to regain your self-confidence.
Style is how you choose to show up in the world. When you don’t dress in a way that matches how you feel about yourself on the inside, you are likely to feel uncomfortable. By choosing to make time for yourself and practicing self-love through your style choices, you will feel more confident in your own skin. If you are nervous about how others will react to your new style, give yourself permission to play around with it at home in your closet. This will help you to learn what works and what doesn’t with very low stakes.
Why didn’t they tell us how to get ready or how important style is? How you dress makes a big difference in how you show up in the world. Instead of always putting your own needs last, show yourself self-love by taking time to get dressed in a way that makes you feel more like yourself.
Quotes:
• “Fashion maybe doesn't matter to your day-to-day life, but style, how you choose to show up to do your work in the world, to serve the people you serve, to love the people that you love, to be in the communities that you're in, yeah. That does matter, because human heuristics are always at play.” (6:00-6:17 | Judith)
• “I want my outsides to match how I feel about myself on the inside.” (7:14-7:16 | Judith)
• “Why didn't they tell us how to get ready? Why didn't they tell us how to shop for a good suit or a good bra? Why did nobody tell us how important this part would be? Because there's such an emphasis on just be smart. Just get the piece of paper. Just hit that next milestone in your business. Just X, Y, or Z. And then you can worry about that stuff. And it's like, no, no. How about we worry about that stuff now? Cause it's gonna affect how you show up for the rest of this.” (9:25-9:53 | Judith)
• “If I can show you with your underwear drawer where we can make some changes in your thinking, we can apply that thinking to all the other areas of your life.” (18:22-18:32 | Judith)
• “All of it's a learning process. If everything was always grandiose and wonderful when you put it on, you wouldn't learn anything about yourself.” (45:24-45:30 | Judith)
• “Play in your closet first. Failing there is such low stakes.” (45:55-45:58 | Judith)
Connect with Judith Gaton:
Judith: https://www.judithgaton.com/
Get Social with Judith: https://www.instagram.com/judithgaton/
Style Masterclass with Judith Gaton: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLtfJvACCPxoc5zOFhMfyLQ
Connect With Leslie:
https://www.confidencecoachforgirls.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_coach_chronicles/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CoachChronicles/
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
“Taking care of your own wants and needs is the most beautiful thing you can do. Let's normalize that. Let’s be our own Valentine's and take care of ourselves,” shares host and self-confidence coach for women and teens, Leslie Randolph. With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, people are focused on showing love to others, but that doesn’t mean you should neglect self-love. Be your own Valentine and take control of how you want to feel.
It’s likely you have feelings that come to mind when you think of Valentine’s Day, and many of those feelings are probably unpleasant. You may have had big relationship goals for a past Valentine’s Day and your partner fell short of your expectations. If you assign meaning to what people do or don’t do based on something arbitrary like the date, rather than focusing on the facts, you will just end up feeling awful unnecessarily.
Make a plan for how you want to feel on Valentine’s Day. If you want to feel loved and appreciated, remind yourself of how loved and appreciated you already are every day leading up to the holiday. Tune into Why Didn’t They Tell Us for a conversation with host Leslie Randolph about being your own Valentine.
Quotes:
• “The meaning we assign to other people's actions, the thoughts we think about what they do or don't do will determine how we feel.” (7:34-7:42 | Leslie)
• “I want you to plan in advance how you want to feel on Valentine's Day.” (8:45-8:48 | Leslie)
• “There is so much lovability to you, regardless of what other people do or don't do on Valentine's Day. You want to feel appreciated? You remind yourself of that now and leading up to the day. Remind yourself every day how appreciated and loved you are. There's so much evidence for it when you look for it. So friends, yes, today, every day, and especially leading up to February 14th, be your own Valentine.” (10:03-10:36 | Leslie)
• “Taking care of your own wants and needs is the most beautiful thing you can do. Let's normalize that. Let’s be our own Valentine's and take care of ourselves.” (11:55-12:09 | Leslie)
• “Focus on the facts versus the optional meaning you can assign to it.” (12:52-12:57 | Leslie)
• “Do not let the date, a neutral circumstance, just the fact that it's February 14th, do not assign meaning to that. That is unnecessary if it makes you feel terrible.” (16:13-16:24 | Leslie)
• “Love is the greatest feeling in the world. Give it to yourself.” (20:44-20:47 | Leslie)
Connect With Leslie:
https://www.coachchronicles.com/lovelibrary
https://www.confidencecoachforgirls.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_coach_chronicles/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CoachChronicles/
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
“I wish someone had told us to feel the emotions, and to feel them all, even the painful ones. Life is meant to be a mix of the good and the bad, the dark and the light. And we only know the goodness of life's most magical moments when we allow and accept the darkness of the hard and heavy times,” shares host and self-confidence coach for women and teens, Leslie Randolph. When we resist our negative emotions, we actually add more suffering on top of the existing suffering. In order to gain the emotional intelligence to begin processing emotions that we might otherwise choose to avoid, we need to practice allowing ourselves to feel every emotion.
Humans are not meant to be happy all the time, but often when we experience a negative emotion we think that implies something inherently bad in us. You are not weak or wrong for feeling badly, you are just a human experiencing a completely normal human emotion. If your reaction to feeling any negative emotion is to be mad at yourself or feel ashamed, you are adding unnecessary suffering onto your existing suffering. Instead of resisting negative emotions, allow yourself to feel them. Check in with your body and label your emotions, because this will help you to normalize those feelings.
It is perfectly okay and natural to feel negative emotions sometimes. In spite of what you continually see on social media, no human is happy all the time. Tune into Why Didn’t They Tell Us for a conversation with host Leslie Randolph about the importance of allowing yourself to experience all emotions, good or bad, in order to reduce unnecessary suffering.
Quotes:
• “Suffering on suffering comes when we resist emotions versus allowing them.” (6:58-7:03 | Leslie)
• “We are not supposed to be happy all the time. We're not. It's a lie that's perpetuated everywhere.” (8:26-8:36 | Leslie)
• “If you subscribe to a social platform that shows you just one sector of people's lives, you might believe that we're supposed to be happy all the time. And I promise you, we're not. Reels are not reality, my friend. But if we believe that we're supposed to be happy, then when we feel a negative emotion, we believe something is wrong. And then when we think something is wrong, that adds just a whole new layer of negative emotion on negative emotion. I'm feeling sad. I shouldn't feel sad. Something's wrong. Now I feel sad about feeling sad. Suffering on suffering.” (9:05-9:53 | Leslie)
• “I wish someone had told us to feel the emotions, and to feel them all, even the painful ones. Life is meant to be a mix of the good and the bad, the dark and the light. And we only know the goodness of life's most magical moments when we allow and accept the darkness of the hard and heavy times.” (25:12-25:37 | Leslie)
If you or someone you know is struggling with depression, suicidal thoughts or mental health matters, please call or text the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline to connect with a trained counselor or visit the Lifeline site at https://988lifeline.org/. Connect With Leslie:
https://www.confidencecoachforgirls.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_coach_chronicles/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CoachChronicles/
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
“Words matter, my friends. And when we get more mindful about them, we change the way we feel,” explains Leslie Randolph, host and self-confidence coach for creating confident women and teens. Going into the new year, Leslie wants to remind everyone that words matter, especially the words you think or say to yourself. If you are always thinking, “I'm too busy,” for example, you will feel overwhelmed and be unlikely to tackle your to-do list. Whereas, if instead you say, “My life is so full,” it means essentially the same thing, but you will feel completely differently inside. People think on average 60,000 thoughts a day, so word choice really plays into shaping how we view ourselves and directly impacts the direction of our lives.
Your thoughts are a roadmap to becoming the person you want and living the life you want. By not thinking through the words you use, you’re likely to actually block yourself from achieving your goals. Instead, try to be mindful of when you use words like ‘should’ or say phrases like “I can’t” when what you really mean is “I don’t want to” or “I’ve never done that before.” These types of words and phrases feel very negative and do not take into account your own agency over your life. Instead of “I need to” think “I get to” or “I choose to,” because that feels much more empowering. These simple word switches will help put you into a growth mindset so that you can be in a position to love yourself more. When we have more self-love, that leaves more room to love others.
Practice mindfulness when it comes to the thoughts that you think and the way you speak to yourself and others daily. Your words directly impact how you feel which in turn impacts what actions you do or do not take. Words have the power to shape your life, and you want to make sure you are choosing words that honor the agency you have over yourself and your desired future. Tune into Why Didn’t They Tell Us for a conversation with host Leslie Randolph about why words like ‘should’ would be best left in 2022.
Quotes:
• “Why didn’t they tell us that words matter? Sticks and stones may break my bones? Puh-lease, it is the words that hurt. And it's not just words that other people say. If I just said we think 60,000 thoughts a day, that is really the soundtrack of our lives, the thoughts that we think. So if we can be mindful about the thoughts we think and the words that we use, that would save us from so much unnecessary suffering, and this feeling of shame, or guilt or other unnecessary negative emotions that come from the words we use.” (5:39-6:22 | Leslie)
• “Mindfulness and what we think, and then say out loud, is the greatest tool in our tool belt to live a life we love. Because it's not just how it makes you feel, depending on how you feel, will then determine what you do or don't do. And depending on what you do, or don't do, that creates the life you live.” (6:54-7:21 | Leslie)
• “Busy is this permission slip to not do.” (8:33-8:37 | Leslie)
• “The thought ‘I'm so busy’ usually makes you feel overwhelmed. When you feel overwhelmed, do you know what you do? Not much.” (9:09-9:24 | Leslie)
• “Focus on the fullness of your life rather than the burden of being busy and just see what happens. Notice, it's just words. It's just words that have two totally different meetings and have you showing up totally different in this life.” (12:42-12:56 | Leslie)
• “Check in with how it makes you feel when you say these things, saying I need to, it really takes away that power and agency of which you have so much of and you are reminded of it when you simply shift to I get to, I choose to.” (16:25-16:46 | Leslie)
• “When we are loving and taking care of ourselves and honoring ourselves, honestly, it just makes the world a better place, because we are taking care of our own needs. And we are examples for other people who can then take care of themselves. And I always say that ultimately, when we practice self love our capacity for loving others gets so much greater.” (18:02-18:25 | Leslie)
• “As we set new goals and we try to create new things in our lives, be very mindful of when you just lean into I can't because nine times out of 10 it's not true. What may be true is I've never done it before. I'm scared. I'm worried I might fail. But it doesn't mean I can't. If you believe you can't, then you won't achieve whatever it is that you want.” (18:55-19:25 | Leslie)
• “It actually creates an emotional deficit when you tell yourself what you should or should not be thinking, saying, feeling, and doing when you're actually doing the opposite.” (21:36-21:48 | Leslie)
• “If you are acting on the opposite side of that should, then you're fighting with reality. Shoulding forces you to focus on what you did or didn't do and telling yourself why it was the wrong choice.” (21:57-22:14 | Leslie)
• “Do you really want to be exercising more, scrolling less, whatever your ‘should’ is? Or do you simply think you should because some external voice told you so?” (24:48-25:02 | Leslie)
• “Beating yourself up with a word like ‘should’ is like beating yourself up with a butter knife. It doesn't hurt too much, but over time that pain is going to have an impact.” (27:05-27:22 | Leslie)
• “Words matter, my friends. And when we get more mindful about them, we change the way we feel.” (31:14-31:21 | Leslie)
Connect With Leslie:
Leslie’s class: https://www.coachchronicles.com/seasonoflove
Website: https://www.confidencecoachforgirls.com/
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
“When I started to be kinder to myself, I noticed that I stopped being as critical of other people too, and vice versa,” shares Naomi Finkelstein. Naomi is a large-bodied yoga therapist, health and wellbeing coach, and licensed Be Body Positive facilitator. She has been a yoga teacher since 2009 and began coaching in 2019 when she noticed that the health and wellness space did not tend to cater to larger people. Naomi struggled with her body image her entire life and found self-love difficult when there was so much external pressure being put on her to lose weight. As an adult Naomi found the messages of the body positivity movement and finally realized that all those mean beliefs she had about herself were lies. Her value as a person and worthiness of love was not actually connected to her weight or size, yet those are the beliefs that were ingrained into her from such a young age.
Our society is historically terrible in the way it treats and represents fat people. The diet and beauty industry actively benefit from equating health, self-worth, and beauty with size. There is nothing inherently wrong with you for simply existing in a larger body. Body positivity provides the space for people who look different from society’s ideals to learn to love themselves not only in spite of their differences, but in many cases because of their differences. It can be challenging to confront the lies about body image that have been ingrained into you since childhood but the work is worth the effort. YOU are worth the effort. Some ways to start recognizing the beauty in our differences is to begin following more diverse people on your social media feeds and to spend more time in nature.
You are worthy of self-love and self-confidence regardless of the size of your body. Body positivity can help you to reclaim the narrative surrounding your body image and health, so that you can feel happy and confident in your own skin. Tune into Why Didn’t They Tell Us for a conversation with Naomi Finkelstein about how you can learn to love your body and stop believing the lies that our fatphobic society has ingrained in you.
Quotes:
• “So much of health and wellness is centered around helping people lose weight, and that is not the best way to pursue health and wellness, in my opinion. In fact, I believe that it causes a lot more harm than it actually helps.” (2:45-3:00 | Naomi)
• “I don't think people realize how their nervous systems are damaged due to this obsession with body and food.” (28:05-28:15 | Naomi)
• “It is imperative that everybody understand that we are all at war with our bodies, because we have bias against fat people.” (28:35-28:46 | Naomi)
• “People who consider themselves to be social justice oriented miss the mark. They don't really acknowledge fat as a social justice issue, but it is and it is inextricably linked from racism as well.” (31:49-32:03 | Naomi)
• “The more diversity we expose ourselves to, the more we're going to start to see beauty in places that we might not have seen it before.” (33:38-33:48 | Naomi)
• “When I started to be kinder to myself, I noticed that I stopped being as critical of other people too, and vice versa.” (34:00-34:09 | Naomi)
Connect with Naomi Finkelstein:
Website: http://www.naomifinkelstein.com
IG: @well_rounded.wellness
Connect With Leslie:
https://www.confidencecoachforgirls.com/
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
“If we can approach life with curiosity and resilience like a second grader, perhaps we will get much further,” shares host and self-confidence coach Leslie Randolph. People don’t often think they are going to learn anything useful about themselves at parent-teacher conferences. However, even though you may have heard these same lessons from your own teachers when you were little, it’s likely that hearing them again as an adult will have a different impact. Kids are so resilient. They are not only allowed to make mistakes, but are celebrated for it. They explore and try new things constantly; but somewhere along the way as we age, we begin to fear failure.
To grow into confident teens and confident women, it is important to allow for self-compassion and kindness. Choose to be your own cheerleader and normalize making mistakes. Second graders are not the only ones allowed to color outside the lines. Don’t let the fear of failing or looking stupid hold you back from forming deeper more authentic connections or trying new things. Instead, celebrate yourself for having the courage to take risks. You will likely not be amazing at everything you try at first, but that is okay! Allow yourself to make mistakes on the way to your goals, and don’t let those mistakes stop you from continuing to try.
Why didn’t they tell us? Maybe they did tell us in second grade. Tune into Why Didn’t They Tell Us with host Leslie Randolph to hear more about the life lessons we can all apply to our adult lives that we may have been told as children, but surely need to hear again now.
Quotes:
• “Maybe some of the greatest life lessons are the simple ones that we learned in second grade.” (5:16-5:23 | Leslie)
• “If we can approach life with curiosity and resilience like a second grader, perhaps we will get much further.” (6:08-6:20 | Leslie)
• “Starting a business or going after a promotion at work, or any risk that you're taking in your life, the stakes aren't celebrated. But in second grade, the stakes are and they should. They should be celebrated, encouraged and normalized.” (6:44-7:03 | Leslie)
• “Let's all aim to color outside of the lines, to try something wild and crazy that only a sliver of that beautiful brain of yours believes is even possible. But you let that sliver be what leads you and go make that mistake. And then celebrate the fact that you did it, that you tried, and maybe something absolutely incredible will come from that.” (7:36-8:02 | Leslie)
• “Every time we put pen to paper, or we go out and try something new, whatever that risk you take is, certainly you're going to have an expectation. And if you don't meet it, you get to decide how you talk to you at that finish line.” (11:42-12:03 | Leslie)
• “If you know you are going to be kind, and compassionate, and your cheerleader at your finish line, you better believe you will get yourself in the race next time.” (12:10-12:19 | Leslie)
• “Find what you love in this one and only life of yours. So many of us in our later years of life, we just end up going through the motions in autopilot. We stop taking risks or trying new things. We just get through the day, but life is so rich in experiences and opportunities and conversations and connections and humans to meet. Go try it all.” (14:27-14:55 | Leslie)
Connect With Leslie:
https://www.confidencecoachforgirls.com/
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
“Choosing to believe in you, that is always an option. Choosing to believe that whatever you want in this one and only life of yours is possible, that is a choice available to you all the time,” shares host and teen confidence coach Leslie Randolph. If you have been feeling stuck and unable to make the changes you want to your life, the most important thing to remember is that your thoughts are optional. You can choose to believe or not believe whatever your mind is telling you. The default mode of the inner teen inside your head will always say whatever it thinks will keep you safe and keep you within your comfort zone. In order to change your life, you need to challenge that default voice and change your mindset to believing that what you want for yourself is actually possible.
Mindfulness is not just a buzzword. By learning to be mindful of your thoughts, you can change your life. Leslie explains that thoughts are like a roadmap and that the more you believe and focus your attention on certain thoughts, the more likely those thoughts will be the outcome you find. If you want to change the outcome, you need to change the thoughts themselves. Instead of telling yourself that what you want for your life is impossible, start challenging that inner teen and telling her that it is possible. You can always choose to believe in yourself, because your mindset is a choice determined by the thoughts you allow.
Do you want to increase your self-confidence and make real, impactful changes to your life? You can have the life you have always wanted, all you have to do is challenge your inner teen and change your mindset. Tune into Why Didn’t They Tell Us with host Leslie Randolph to learn more about mindfulness and how your thoughts influence the roadmap of your life.
Quotes:
• “Nothing about you or your life actually needs to change in order for you to achieve anything you want. All you have to do is learn to manage your mind.” (1:51-2:01 | Leslie)
• “When you learn to manage your mind and change your thoughts, you can change your life.” (2:43-2:47 | Leslie)
• “You can always change your mind, because your thoughts are optional.” (3:04-3:12 | Leslie)
• “Your thoughts are your roadmap in life. If you believe you will achieve something, you will. Believe you won’t, and I promise you, you won’t.” (4:04-4:19 | Leslie)
• “What you focus on is what you're going to find.” (6:07-6:12 | Leslie)
• “You need to be willing to face embarrassment, failure, rejection, those negative cringy emotions, if you want to achieve something that you don't yet have, you want to achieve that life of your dreams. All you have to do is learn to manage your mind when your brain on its default setting tells you, you can't do it. It's not possible. You will learn to challenge it, you will learn to question that. It’s not a set in stone definitive verdict. It is just your default brain keeping you safe.” (10:16-10:54 | Leslie)
• “Choosing to believe in you, that is always an option. Choosing to believe that whatever you want in this one and only life of yours is possible, that is a choice available to you all the time.” (11:27-11:42 | Leslie)
Connect With Leslie:
https://www.confidencecoachforgirls.com/
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
“This inner teen operates from a place of fear. She’s just trying to protect you,” explains host Leslie Randolph. Leslie is a confidence coach for teenage girls and the teenage girl that lives inside each of us. We all have an inner teen that is trying to keep us safe from cringey emotions like rejection, embarrassment, failure, and humiliation. Our default brain is an insecure teenage girl who simply cannot differentiate between the fear of embarrassment and the fear of physical injury or death. To our inner teen, being rejected can be just as terrifying as falling off a cliff. We tend to think that this ingrained fear of failure and criticism will keep us safe, but Leslie explains that all it really does is keep us small and keep us from living the life of our dreams.
Your inner teen’s motivation is to keep you safe and keep you alive, she just can’t tell the difference between perceived dangers and actual dangers. In order to reclaim self-confidence and embrace self-love, you must get to the other side of those cringey emotions that your inner teen is trying so hard to avoid. It feels uncomfortable to allow yourself to face those fears and risk rejection, embarrassment, and failure, but it is so worth the risk. The life you have always wanted for yourself lives on the other side of those feelings.
It can be daunting to face the longstanding fears held by our inner teens, but it is exactly what we need to do in order to become confident women with the lives that we have always wanted. By better understanding the motivations behind our inner teen, we can better cope with the fears and face them with wisdom, love, and grace. Tune into Why Didn’t They Tell Us with host Leslie Randolph to learn more about your inner teen and how to choose self-confidence.
Quotes:
• “I always wonder what my life would look like if I had known what I know now as a teen.” (2:55-3:03 | Leslie)
• “Your default brain is kind of like that insecure teenage girl.” (4:28-4:36 | Leslie)
• “This inner teen operates from a place of fear. She’s just trying to protect you.” (5:00-5:06 | Leslie)
• “You remember as a teen that first experience with rejection, embarrassment, humiliation, failure. Those are the feelings that your teen is trying to keep you safe from. The inner teen believes those emotions are just as bad as physical pain or death. Your inner teen is a primal creature. She just wants to keep you safe and keep you alive. She can’t discern between embarrassment and being attacked by a lion or differentiate between failure and falling off a cliff. She’s just going to protect you from all of the above.” (5:17-6:02 | Leslie)
• “I wish someone would’ve told me that my fear of failure wasn’t keeping me safe. It was keeping me small.” (6:50-6:57 | Leslie)
• “What I wish someone had told me was that there is so much on the other side of those emotions, those cringey emotions that your inner teen is trying to keep you away from. There is so much connection on the other side of rejection. There is so much pride when you are willing to feel embarrassed. There is so much love and acceptance when you are willing to put yourself out there and face your fear, but you’ll never know it and you’ll never experience it unless you are saying, ‘I am willing to take that risk.’” (11:07-11:59 | Leslie)
Connect With Leslie:
https://www.confidencecoachforgirls.com/
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
“I wish someone had told me that wishes don’t come true. Why didn’t they tell us that wishes don’t come true?” asks host and teen confidence coach Leslie Randolph. Today on her 40th birthday, Leslie reflects on the concept of wishes and how they differ from goals. Whether it is birthday wishes or New Year's resolutions, we tend to think of these wishes as out of our control and unlikely to come true. Wishes are dreams that we outsource to the universe, when really what we should be spending our time on is making goals. Goalsetting can be an intimidating process, because it requires us to get out of our comfort zone. We must be willing to face temporary discomfort and the fear of failure in order to truly be a goalgetter.
Your inner teen wants to keep you safe and is very resistant to anything that causes you to leave your comfort zone, so anytime you set a goal there will be pushback from that voice inside your head. In order to keep moving forward and not get discouraged, you need to have a strong ‘why’ to ground you and a clear path to your goal. A goal is similar to a wish, but what differentiates it is that a goal comes with an action plan. Instead of outsourcing the outcome to the universe, you are taking the outcome into your own hands. By truly committing yourself to the goalsetting process and choosing a ‘why’ that you feel strongly about, you can make that dream happen for yourself. It takes self-confidence to push back against your inner teen, and one of the ways to build that confidence is to have a very clear goal, a very clear why, and clear steps forward, along with a plan for any obstacles you may face along the way.
Why didn’t they tell us that wishes don’t come true? Sure, sometimes they do, but the odds are much better with an action plan in place. Tune into Why Didn’t They Tell Us with host Leslie Randolph to learn more about the difference between wishes and goals, Leslie’s goalsetting process, and how to gain the self-confidence to stand up against the obstacles that will inevitably come your way. Leslie shares her process behind the goal she had of creating this podcast, her ‘why’ of wanting to get these confidence lessons to as many women as possible, and how you can use her method for any goal you want to achieve.
Quotes:
• “Why doesn’t anyone tell us how to set a goal and the illusion that comes from wishes?” (3:04-3:14 | Leslie)
• “The common theme with all these wishes is that we outsource destiny to the universe. We close our eyes and wish to the powers that be that somehow this will just happen for us.” (4:49-5:09 | Leslie)
• “You are going to decide on a goal or a resolution and when you do, you are going to commit to it.” (11:19-11:30 | Leslie)
• “I want you to get very clear on your ‘why’. Your ‘why’ is your port in the storm that you can always come back to when you are struggling.” (12:11-12:24 | Leslie)
• “If you set a goal, it requires you to get out of your comfort zone. It requires you to create something in your life that does not yet exist. To create something in your life that does not exist requires you to risk failure, to face fears, to risk potential discomfort.” (14:32-14:52 | Leslie)
• “If I was watching the movie of your life, what would I see you doing every day to get closer to that big goal? Write all those down.” (19:28-19:36 | Leslie)
• “I wish someone had told me that wishes don’t come true. Why didn’t they tell us that wishes don’t come true?” (22:35-22:43 | Leslie)
Connect With Leslie:
https://www.confidencecoachforgirls.com/
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
“Why didn’t they tell us we could love our body at any size? Why didn’t they tell us that self-confidence was simply a choice we could make, and one we were so worthy of choosing?” asks host Leslie Randolph. Leslie is a confidence coach for teenage girls, and also the confidence coach we all wish we could have had access to when we were younger. She applies the wisdom she has learned throughout her life to the advice she gives her clients so that they can be confident teens that grow into confident women.
Women are constantly put down and told that in order to have value they have to look a certain way or behave a certain way. Even as adults, many of us still struggle with the beliefs and experiences we had as insecure teenagers. No one ever told us that we were allowed to love ourselves no matter what or that we could simply choose self-confidence. No one told us that we didn’t need to choose to beat ourselves up every time we didn’t quite meet our goals. No one taught us how to be kind to ourselves. Even though no one told us as teens that we could choose self-confidence over insecurity, Leslie is here to show women of all ages that self-love and confidence are choices that we can all make for ourselves.
All women deserve to feel confident in themselves and worthy of self-love and self-compassion. Sadly so many of us were taught otherwise as teens and this impacted our confidence levels as adults. Tune into Why Didn’t They Tell Us with host Leslie Randolph to learn how to reclaim your self-confidence.
Quotes:
• “Why didn’t they tell us we could love our body at any size? Why didn’t they tell us that self-confidence was simply a choice we could make, and one we were so worthy of choosing? Why didn’t they tell us that self-love and self-compassion felt so much better than emotionally beating ourselves up every time we missed the mark on achieving a goal? Why didn’t they tell us that guilt was an optional emotion, even for nice Jewish girls?” (00:09-00:38 | Leslie)
• “I’m the confidence coach I wish I had as a teen, because I know I could have saved myself and my mother a whole lot of heartache if I had only known then what I know now.” (00:50-01:01 | Leslie)
• “Why Didn’t They Tell Us is a gift of love and wisdom to the insecure teenage girl that still exists in all of us.” (01:10-01:18 | Leslie)
Connect With Leslie:
https://www.confidencecoachforgirls.com/
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm