Emancipate Your Mind Archives - Mormon Discussions Podcasts - Full Lineup: Recent Episodes
Bill Reel
The primary developmental task your teen will go through, whether they grew up in high demand religion or not, is differentiation. Differentiation is a process all humans go through to establish an individual identity separate from their parents and authority figures. It is a process whereby we discover our values, our beliefs, our desires, and… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 120: Helping Your Teen Discover Their Personal Identity
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Creating a sense of emotional safety in your home after high demand religion with teens is a little different than starting with young children. You’ve likely already established relationship patterns. And if it feels like your teen is closed off or won’t share their feelings and thoughts freely with you, there’s likely some work needed… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 119: Healing Emotional Safety For Teens After High-Demand Religion
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Parenting after deconstructing high demand religion can feel daunting. Going from a system where you’re given a road map for how to raise your children to having to rely on both your inner guidance and the guidance your kids share with you can feel scary and confusing. Creating a parenting environment where you’re able to… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 118: Creating Emotional Safety for Young Children
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When we left Mormonism, we were terrified of what that would mean for our kids. It’s been 6 years of trusting ourselves as parents, trusting our kids input about what they want for their lives, and creating a dynamic parenting strategy together. While it has been far from perfect, we’re pleased with how things are… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 117: What We’ve Learned About Parenting Since Leaving High-Demand Religion with Kevin Hales
The post Emancipate Your Mind: 117: What We’ve Learned About Parenting Since Leaving High-Demand Religion with Kevin Hales appeared first on Mormon Discussions Podcasts - Full Lineup.
How do you even begin to create community for yourself after leaving high demand religion? In this episode, Communication Coach, Chris Peck and I explore how we can be intentional with the process, take cues from our relationship with ourselves, and lean into the sometimes awkward rehearsal process of practicing new ways of relating in… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 116: Intentional Community Creation After High-Demand Religion with Chris Peck
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I’m so excited to have Chris Peck from Speak Into Action Communications back on the podcast to talk about the subconscious scripts we intentionally or reactively use in our relationships with others. In Part 1 of this episode we explore the difference between showing up intentionally versus showing up in a reactionary way. We also… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 115: Practicing Intentional Scripts to Build Better Relationships with Chris Peck
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I know you’ve heard it before and you’re going to hear it again at least one more time today. You’re not meant to be everyone’s cup of tea. Today we discuss the reality that you may fully accept who someone is and STILL not be compatible with their reality. It doesn’t mean something is wrong… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 114: How to Deal With Relationship Incompatibility Without Driving Yourself Crazy
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We all crave acceptance, but what does it really mean to accept someone? In this episode we discuss the pieces of acceptance everyone seems to agree on…and some of the problematic ideas around acceptance that lead to us feeling used, confused, and sometimes abused. We’ll then talk about how you can walk the line between… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 113: What Acceptance Is (and Isn’t)
The post Emancipate Your Mind: 113: What Acceptance Is (and Isn’t) appeared first on Mormon Discussions Podcasts - Full Lineup.
Sharing our stories in a safe environment is an important step in healing from trauma. Often we engage in this important step with others who have experienced similar things in their past. When we tell our story and someone else says, “Me too! I get it. I’ve been through something similar” we feel seen, heard, and validated. This feeling can be both empowering and intoxicating.
In this episode we explore the ways that sharing our trauma with others who have experienced similar things can help us release shame, find self compassion, and feel empowered to move through the trauma toward a better life. We also talk about some possible pitfalls to be aware of so that you can navigate successfully through sharing your story, connecting with others, and remaining free to continue healing.
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RESOURCES:
Gillihan, Seth J. “The Healing Power of Telling Your Trauma Story”. March 6, 2019. Psychology Today.
Iloabugichukwu, Arah. “Stop Mistaking Shared Trauma for Compatibility”. January 29, 2019. Medium.com.
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JOIN THE LIVE WEEKLY DISCUSSION CALL
Monthly donors to the podcast receive weekly supplemental emails with additional exercises as well as access to a live weekly discussion call every Wednesday at 6:30pm MT. If you want the additional support from both Teri and our growing community of subscribers, go to www.emancipateyourmind.org and choose any monthly donation amount under “support the podcast and give a gift”.
New donors will be automatically added to the email list every month on the 5th with links to the discussions, exclusive exercises and tools to help you recover faster, and invitations to attend any additional workshops this year for free. To be added to the email list more quickly, please email us at teri@emancipatedcoaching.com right after making your donation and you’ll be added to the list within 24-48 hours.
The post Emancipate Your Mind: 112: The Benefits and Pitfalls of Bonding Over Shared Trauma appeared first on Mormon Discussions Podcasts - Full Lineup.
As we’ve talked about healthy attachments, two words kept cropping up in conversations: Trauma Bonding.
Many people used these words to describe the almost instant friendship between two people who have experienced the same trauma and can validate one another’s experience. However, this is known as “bonding over trauma”. (We’ll talk more about this next week).
However, a trauma bond is the emotionally addictive attachment between a victim of abuse and their abuser. Because those of us coming from backgrounds of religious and/or narcissistic abuse can develop these kinds of bonds, I felt it was worth exploring trauma bonds more in depth. In today’s episode, we explore what these bonds might look like, why it’s so hard to leave, and how to begin to heal.
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RESOURCES:
Arabi, Shahida. “The Real Reason Why We Love Bad Boys, Toxic Partners, and Emotionally Unavailable Men”. February 1, 2022. Thought Catalog.
Dahl, Ena. “Trauma Bonding is the Drug That Makes Abuse Feel Like Love”. February 26, 2020. Medium.com.
Lovering, Nancy. “What Is Trauma Bonding?” September 14, 2022. PyschCentral.com
Morton, Kati. “What is Trauma Bonding?”. November 12, 2018. YouTube.
The M3ND Project. “Trauma Bonding Explained: Signs and How to Break the Bond”.
________________________________________________________
JOIN THE LIVE WEEKLY DISCUSSION CALL
Monthly donors to the podcast receive weekly supplemental emails with additional exercises as well as access to a live weekly discussion call every Wednesday at 6:30pm MT. If you want the additional support from both Teri and our growing community of subscribers, go to www.emancipateyourmind.org and choose any monthly donation amount under “support the podcast and give a gift”.
New donors will be automatically added to the email list every month on the 5th with links to the discussions, exclusive exercises and tools to help you recover faster, and invitations to attend any additional workshops this year for free. To be added to the email list more quickly, please email us at teri@emancipatedcoaching.com right after making your donation and you’ll be added to the list within 24-48 hours.
The post Emancipate Your Mind: 111: What Is Trauma Bonding? appeared first on Mormon Discussions Podcasts - Full Lineup.
Developing healthy interdependence with our partners, family, and friends is healthy and normal. Relationships where we feel free to both give and receive support and love can help us feel more emotionally stable and studies are showing that it can even help us live longer.
But in our Western culture where independence is prized almost above all, the word “dependency” can leave us worried we’re doing something wrong or unhealthy. With all of the talk about the problems with codependency, particularly in the religious trauma community, I thought it was high time we talk about the differences between what is means to be healthily dependent on one another and codependent.
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RESOURCES:
Martin, Sharon. “The Difference Between Dependency and Codependency”. January 21, 2018. PsychCentral.
Priebe, Heidi. “Codependence vs. Interdependence: How Much Should We Rely On Our Partners?”. January 7, 2022. YouTube.
________________________________________________________
JOIN THE LIVE WEEKLY DISCUSSION CALL
Monthly donors to the podcast receive weekly supplemental emails with additional exercises as well as access to a live weekly discussion call every Wednesday at 6:30pm MT. If you want the additional support from both Teri and our growing community of subscribers, go to www.emancipateyourmind.org and choose any monthly donation amount under “support the podcast and give a gift”.
New donors will be automatically added to the email list every month on the 5th with links to the discussions, exclusive exercises and tools to help you recover faster, and invitations to attend any additional workshops this year for free. To be added to the email list more quickly, please email us at teri@emancipatedcoaching.com right after making your donation and you’ll be added to the list within 24-48 hours.
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RELIGIOUS TRAUMA COACHING WITH KEVIN HALES
Schedule an appointment with Kevin at https://coloradocounselingcenter.com/kevin-hales/
The post Emancipate Your Mind: 110: Codependency or Co-Regulation? How to Tell the Difference appeared first on Mormon Discussions Podcasts - Full Lineup.
Developing a safe, intimate connection with others can feel scary for those who are trying to reclaim a sense of personal identity after religious trauma or interpersonal codependency. In this episode, we discuss what healthy emotional co-regulation looks like and how we can set the stage for this powerful experience in our most important relationships.
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RESOURCES:
Murray, et al. “Coregulation from Birth Through Young Adulthood- A Practice Brief”.
Porges, Stephen. “The Neuroscience and Power of Safe Relationships”. Episode 116, Relationship School Podcast. April, 2017. YouTube.
________________________________________________________
JOIN THE LIVE WEEKLY DISCUSSION CALL
Monthly donors to the podcast receive weekly supplemental emails with additional exercises as well as access to a live weekly discussion call every Wednesday at 6:30pm MT. If you want the additional support from both Teri and our growing community of subscribers, go to www.emancipateyourmind.org and choose any monthly donation amount under “support the podcast and give a gift”.
New donors will be automatically added to the email list every month on the 5th with links to the discussions, exclusive exercises and tools to help you recover faster, and invitations to attend any additional workshops this year for free. To be added to the email list more quickly, please email us at teri@emancipatedcoaching.com right after making your donation and you’ll be added to the list within 24-48 hours.
__________________________________________________________
RELIGIOUS TRAUMA COACHING WITH KEVIN HALES
Schedule an appointment with Kevin at https://coloradocounselingcenter.com/kevin-hales/
The post Emancipate Your Mind: 109: Learning to Co-Regulate Your Nervous System appeared first on Mormon Discussions Podcasts - Full Lineup.
If you’ve been in a relationship with insecure attachment patterns, how do you begin practicing secure attachment?
Licensed Professional Counselor and my husband, Kevin Hales, discusses the first three steps he shares with couples in his therapy room as well as practical examples of conflict resolution from our own marriage.
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RESOURCES:
Fredrickson, Ronald. “Living Like Your Mean It”. 2009. Jossey-Bass.
________________________________________________________
JOIN THE LIVE WEEKLY DISCUSSION CALL
Monthly donors to the podcast receive weekly supplemental emails with additional exercises as well as access to a live weekly discussion call every Wednesday at 6:30pm MT. If you want the additional support from both Teri and our growing community of subscribers, go to www.emancipateyourmind.org and choose any monthly donation amount under “support the podcast and give a gift”.
New donors will be automatically added to the email list every month on the 5th with links to the discussions, exclusive exercises and tools to help you recover faster, and invitations to attend any additional workshops this year for free. To be added to the email list more quickly, please email us at teri@emancipatedcoaching.com right after making your donation and you’ll be added to the list within 24-48 hours.
The post Emancipate Your Mind: 108: Practicing Secure Attachment in Adult Relationships appeared first on Mormon Discussions Podcasts - Full Lineup.
In today’s episode, we explore the last of the 4 attachment styles and how high demand religion may have influenced our primary caregivers or us as children and how we relate with others.
Disorganized Attachment Style, otherwise known as Fearful-Avoidant Attachment Style, is a unique combination of both Anxious and Avoidant behaviors. Today we talk about some of the common traits those with this style of attachment may exhibit and normalize the behaviors that can feel so chaotic and confusing. We also discuss some first steps towards reprogramming the beliefs underlying the behaviors associated with this style of attachment and learning to feel safer both with yourself and in relationship with others.
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RESOURCES:
Gibson, Thais. “Fearful Avoidant Attachment Style in Friendships”. October, 2020. YouTube.
Frederick, Ronald J. “Loving Like You Mean It: Use the Power of Emotional Mindfulness to Transform Your Relationships”. April 30, 2019. Central Recovery Press.
Priebe, Heidi. “How Does a Fearful Avoidant Attachment Style Develop?”. February 9, 2022. YouTube.
Durvasula, Ramani. “Narcissism and Attachment Theory”. October 25, 2021. YouTube.
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DONATE TO THE PODCAST AND JOIN THE LIVE WEEKLY DISCUSSION:
Do you want support in understanding and working through your own childhood attachment style? Join us for the live weekly discussion this Wednesday at 6:30pm MT.
Monthly donors will be invited to weekly live discussions and group coaching every Wednesday at 6:30pm Mountain Time (8:30pm Eastern/ 5:30pm Pacific). Make a monthly tax-deductible donation of any amount at emancipateyourmind.org .
New donors will be automatically added to the email list every month on the 5th with links to the discussions, exclusive exercises and tools to help you recover faster, and invitations to attend any additional workshops this year for free. To be added to the email list more quickly, please email us at teri@emancipatedcoaching.com right after making your donation and you’ll be added to the list within 24-48 hours.
We hope to see you there!
FREE COMMUNITY:
Not ready to donate but still want to join in online community and text discussions? Come join the Emancipate Yourself Facebook group to share your thoughts on today’s podcast and ask more questions.
The post Emancipate Your Mind: 107: Disorganized Attachment Style and High Demand Religion appeared first on Mormon Discussions Podcasts - Full Lineup.
If you have an avoidant attachment style, you may feel highly uncomfortable getting emotionally vulnerable with other people, which makes it difficult to create the deep connections you both crave and fear.
On the one hand, you would love to feel the joy of connection with another special human but on the other hand, because you were taught that emotional vulnerability led to disappointment and sometimes rejection, you tend to approach the world as kind of a “lone wolf”. When someone does crack through the wall you keep around your heart, it can feel a little stressful when they start to demand more of your time, energy, or space.
In this episode, we explore both the strengths and weaknesses of this attachment style, how this style develops and explore how high demand religion may have influenced the ways you were encouraged to attach with others. We also discuss a few steps you can take to begin healing this part of yourself so that you can feel safe and secure in your favorite relationships.
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RESOURCES:
Cheryl. “When Christians Confuse Toxic Positivity with Faith and Hope”. September 17, 2020. TwentySixLetters.org
Frederick, Ronald J. “Loving Like You Mean It: Use the Power of Emotional Mindfulness to Transform Your Relationships”. April 30, 2019. Central Recovery Press.
Levine, Amir and Heller, Rachel S.F. “Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How it Can Help You Find– and Keep– Love”. December 30, 2010. Bluebird Publishing.
Priebe, Heidi. “10 Signs You Might Have Avoidant Attachment Style”. January 12, 2022. YouTube.
Durvasula, Ramani. “Narcissism and Attachment Theory”. October 25, 2021. YouTube.
Sage, Kim. “Healing Avoidant Attachment: Healing Attachment Wounds”. November 9, 2021. YouTube.
The Attachment Project. “Avoidant Attachment Style: Causes and Symptoms”. July 2, 2020. AttachmentProject.com
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DONATE TO THE PODCAST AND JOIN THE LIVE WEEKLY DISCUSSION:
Do you want support in understanding and working through your own childhood attachment style? Join us for the live weekly discussion this Wednesday at 6:30pm MT.
Monthly donors will be invited to weekly live discussions and group coaching every Wednesday at 6:30pm Mountain Time (8:30pm Eastern/ 5:30pm Pacific). Make a monthly tax-deductible donation of any amount at emancipateyourmind.org .
New donors will be automatically added to the email list every month on the 5th with links to the discussions, exclusive exercises and tools to help you recover faster, and invitations to attend any additional workshops this year for free. To be added to the email list more quickly, please email us at teri@emancipatedcoaching.com right after making your donation and you’ll be added to the list within 24-48 hours.
We hope to see you there!
FREE COMMUNITY:
Not ready to donate but still want to join in online community and text discussions? Come join the Emancipate Yourself Facebook group to share your thoughts on today’s podcast and ask more questions.
The post Emancipate Your Mind: 106: Avoidant Attachment and High-Demand Christianity appeared first on Mormon Discussions Podcasts - Full Lineup.
If you have an anxious attachment style, you likely spend your time trying to people please, take care of the people around you, and in general try to win the love and connection you so desperately crave. But, you may worry that those you love don’t care about you as much as you care about them. You worry that eventually, they may reject you or even abandon you and this leaves you feeling anxious and unable to fully trust the people you care about.
In this episode, we explore how this attachment style develops and explore how high demand religion may have influenced the ways your parents showed up emotionally in their relationships with you and your siblings. We address fears you may have about your own parenting and your relationships with your own kids. And a few steps you can take to begin healing this part of yourself so that you can feel safe and secure in your favorite relationships.
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RESOURCES:
Addah, Ogue and Lemay, Edward. “Romantic Surveillance and Secret Assessments: Responsiveness Monitoring Born from Insecurity in Relationships”. University of Maryland. 2014.
Catlett, Joyce. M.A. “Anxious Attachment: Understanding Insecure Anxious Attachment”. PsychAlive.com
Child Development Institute. “The Power of Attunement”.
Firestone, Lisa. Ph.D. “How Your Attachment Style Affects Your Parenting”. PsychAlive.com
Gibson, Thais. “The Anxious Attachment’s Top 5 Triggers”. July 3, 2021. The Personal Development School. YouTube.
Ludden, David. Ph.D. “How Early Childhood Shapes Your Relationship with God: Attachment Style and Religious Belief.” June 17, 2021. PsychologyToday.com
Morton, Katie. “The 4 Main Attachment Styles in Relationships- Plus Attachment Theory”. December 13, 2022. YouTube.
Sage, Kimberly. Ph.D. “Healing Anxious Attachment Style”. November 10, 2021. YouTube.
The Attachment Project. “Self Regulation Strategies for Anxious Attachment Triggers”. July 23, 2021. The Attachment Project.com
___________________________________________________________________
DONATE TO THE PODCAST AND JOIN THE LIVE WEEKLY DISCUSSION:
Do you want support in understanding and working through your own childhood attachment style? Join us for the live weekly discussion this Wednesday at 6:30pm MT.
Monthly donors will be invited to weekly live discussions and group coaching every Wednesday at 6:30pm Mountain Time (8:30pm Eastern/ 5:30pm Pacific). Make a monthly tax-deductible donation of any amount at emancipateyourmind.org .
New donors will be automatically added to the email list every month on the 5th with links to the discussions, exclusive exercises and tools to help you recover faster, and invitations to attend any additional workshops this year for free. To be added to the email list more quickly, please email us at teri@emancipatedcoaching.com right after making your donation and you’ll be added to the list within 24-48 hours.
We hope to see you there!
FREE COMMUNITY:
Not ready to donate but still want to join in online community and text discussions? Come join the Emancipate Yourself Facebook group to share your thoughts on today’s podcast and ask more questions.
The post Emancipate Your Mind: 105: Anxious Attachment and High-Demand Religious Parenting appeared first on Mormon Discussions Podcasts - Full Lineup.
Do you crave close relationships with others but find it hard to connect on a deep level?
Do you often feel lonely or misunderstood?
Do you worry deeply that those you love will abandon you?
You are likely struggling with an insecure attachment style.
For the next few episodes, we’re going to talk about what we can learn about how we relate to others through the lens of attachment theory. Understanding our attachment style gives us the power to recognize our learned behavior patterns in relationship with others so that we can identify why we’re struggling to connect to the important people in our lives or why we’re constantly worried that those we love will leave us. Knowing what’s going on gives us the power to change our behavior patterns in relationships and get the outcomes we want.
Because the levels of control in high demand religion often make it very difficult to develop secure attachment, many of us have never had safe, trusting relationships modeled for us. In today’s episode we’ll begin our exploration of attachment theory with secure attachment so that we have an idea of what we’re aiming for as we heal.
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RESOURCES:
Cherry, Kendra. “What is Attachment Theory? The Importance of Early Emotional Bonds.” February 22, 2023. VeryWellMind.com
Gibson, Thais. “How to Spot a Securely Attached Person (on the first date!). November 25, 2021. The Personal Development School. YouTube.
Leo, Briony. “What is Attachment and Why is it Important?” November 5, 2017. PyschCentral.com
Mikulincer, M., Shaver, P.R. (2007). Attachment in Adulthood: Structure, Dynamics, and Change. Guilford Press.
Snipes, Dawn-Elise. “What is Attachment? Creating Secure Attachment Part 1”. December 27, 2021. DocSnipes. YouTube.
The Attachment Project. “Attachment Styles and Their Role in Relationships”. July 2, 2020. Attachmentproject.com
The Attachment Project. “Secure Attachment: From Childhood to Adult Relationships”. July 2, 2020. Attachment project.com.
___________________________________________________________________ DONATE TO THE PODCAST AND JOIN THE LIVE WEEKLY DISCUSSION:
Want to be a part of the live discussion and learn more about your childhood values? Join us for the live weekly discussion this Wednesday at 6:30pm MT.
Monthly donors will be invited to weekly live discussions and group coaching every Wednesday at 6:30pm Mountain Time (8:30pm Eastern/ 5:30pm Pacific). Make a monthly tax-deductible donation of any amount at emancipateyourmind.org .
New donors will be automatically added to the email list every month on the 5th with links to the discussions, exclusive exercises and tools to help you recover faster, and invitations to attend any additional workshops this year for free. To be added to the email list more quickly, please email us at teri@emancipatedcoaching.com right after making your donation and you’ll be added to the list within 24-48 hours.
We hope to see you there!
FREE COMMUNITY:
Not ready to donate but still want to join in online community and text discussions? Come join the Emancipate Yourself Facebook group to share your thoughts on today’s podcast and ask more questions.
The post Emancipate Your Mind: 104: What is Healthy Attachment and Why Does It Matter? appeared first on Mormon Discussions Podcasts - Full Lineup.
Have you ever thought about how high demand religion taught you to relate to and attach with God?
Have you considered how your learned attachment style with the God you were taught to worship might have informed your childhood relationships and may still inform your relationships today?
In this episode, Self-Trust Coach and Licensed Mental Health Counselor, Catherine Quiring, shares the insight she has gained from her own journey healing codependency with the high-demand Evangelical God she was taught to serve and worship.
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RESOURCES:
Curtice, Kaitlin. “Native”
Early, Jay, Ph.D. and Weiss, Bonnie, LCSW. “Freedom from Your Inner Critic: A Self-Therapy Approach”.
Gibson, Lindsay C. “Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Deal with Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents”.
Held Evans, Rachel. “Faith Unravelled”. And all of her other books.
Rohr, Richard. “The Universal Christ: How a Forgotten Reality Can Change Everything We See, Hope For, and Believe”.
Schwartz, Richard. “No Bad Parts: Healing Trauma and Restoring Wholeness with the Internal Family Systems Model”.
Schwartz, Richard. “You Are the One You’ve Been Waiting For: Bringing Courageous Love to Intimate Relationships”.
SAND Website: Science and Nonduality
Sounds of SAND Podcast hosted by Science and Nonduality.
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WANT TO BASK IN MORE OF CATHERINE’S COMPASSION AND EXPERTISE?
Find her and all of her valuable resources at the links below.
Website: www.cqcounseling.com
Recovery Group: Trust Yourself Again: Reclaim Your Inner Compass After Leaving Evangelical Subculture
Attachment to God Quiz
Trust Yourself Masterclass
The post Emancipate Your Mind: 103: Exploring and Healing Attachment Wounds with God with Catherine Quiring appeared first on Mormon Discussions Podcasts - Full Lineup.
Often, some of the most difficult conflicts of values we’ll face is with the people we love the most. Many of us were taught through codependent patterns and practices that love means always agreeing with one another on the things that matter most.
This kind of thinking is reinforced through scripture that tells us that husband and wife should be “one flesh”- which was often interpreted to mean that you should become like one person. We also hear this kind of ideology when referring to the church community or the “body of Christ”. We are referred to as parts of one being, instead of being separate individuals with interests, priorities, and needs of our own (1 Corinthians 12:27). In Mormonism, the church is told, “if ye are not one, ye are not mine” (Doctrine and Covenants 38:27).
When we were still immersed in high demand religion, these kinds of conflicts may not have arisen between us before because we were all outsourcing our sense of personal values to church authorities and their interpretations of scripture and God’s will. It felt like we were on the same page because we were both following the same cookie-cutter rules coming from the same authority figures.
Now that one or both of you have begun reclaiming a personal identity, you’ll likely discover that you’ll have individual preferences and priorities in life. Learning to create safe space to discuss those differences and make space for both sets of values can help you develop a healthy sense of interdependency.
In this episode, we talk about how to begin doing that.
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RESOURCES:
Creighton, James L. Ph.D. “When the Fight is Over Values”. June 20, 2019. Psychology Today.
OptionsNow.org. “Two Different Religions: Raising Kids Successfully”. April 7, 2020. Options Now- A Life Choice Clinic.
Dr. Sarah Schewitz. “Navigating Different Values in a Relationship”. July 22, 2022. CouplesLearn.com
Shetty, Jay. “8 Rules for Perfect Love and Amazing Sex“. January 30, 2023. Diary of a Ceo Podcast. YouTube.com
Smith, Sylvia. “How to Stay Together When You Are Different From Each Other.” April 1, 2021. Marriage.com
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NEED COUPLES OR RELIGIOUS TRAUMA COACHING?
I am currently taking a break from one to one coaching as I devote my time to writing a book on understanding and establishing healthy boundaries, but my husband, Kevin, is now taking new clients as a couples and religious trauma coach.
He’s a Licensed Professional Counselor in the state of Colorado and offers therapy in person, by video call, and by telephone within state lines, but can provide therapy-informed coaching outside of the state and even outside of the country.
To find out more about how to work with him, check out his page on the Colorado Counseling Center website. Click on the link labeled “Schedule with Kevin” to talk with his secretary, Annette, about how to work with him in either capacity as a therapist or as a coach. She’ll be able to give you all of the information you need to decide if working with Kevin is the right fit for you.
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DONATE TO THE PODCAST AND JOIN THE LIVE WEEKLY DISCUSSION:
Want to be a part of the live discussion and learn more about your childhood values? Join us for the live weekly discussion this Wednesday at 6:30pm MT.
Monthly donors will be invited to weekly live discussions and group coaching every Wednesday at 6:30pm Mountain Time (8:30pm Eastern/ 5:30pm Pacific). Make a monthly tax-deductible donation of any amount at emancipateyourmind.org .
New donors will be automatically added to the email list every month on the 5th with links to the discussions, exclusive exercises and tools to help you recover faster, and invitations to attend any additional workshops this year for free. To be added to the email list more quickly, please email us at teri@emancipatedcoaching.com right after making your donation and you’ll be added to the list within 24-48 hours.
We hope to see you there!
FREE COMMUNITY:
Not ready to donate but still want to join in online community and text discussions? Come join the Emancipate Yourself Facebook group to share your thoughts on today’s podcast and ask more questions.
The post Emancipate Your Mind: 102: Resolving Values Conflicts With Those We Love appeared first on Mormon Discussions Podcasts - Full Lineup.
Have you ever experienced that feeling of being pulled between two competing values?
It can feel like you’re in the middle of a huge game of tug of war as you wrestle between two values that mean so much to you. No matter what you choose, it feels like you lose something important. Sometimes the fight is so fierce that we feel stuck or paralyzed between the choices- choosing in essence not to make a choice. Sometimes we feel guilty or resentful no matter which we choose.
In this episode, we explore why it can be so hard to decide between two values, how binary thinking comes into play, and how we can begin to get these two parts of our brains to work together and perhaps create even better outcomes than we first imagined.
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RESOURCES:
Creighton, James L. Ph.D. “When the Fight is Over Values”. June 20, 2019. Psychology Today.
Harvey, Benjamin J. “Values Conflict: What They Are and How to Resolve Them Effectively”. August 30, 2018. YouTube.
Robbins, Tony. “Conflicting Values: Sabotaging Your Success”. August 21, 2014. YouTube.
Dr. Sarah Schewitz. “Navigating Different Values in a Relationship”. July 22, 2022. CouplesLearn.com
Zbroniec-Chimenti, Joanna. “The Psychology of Internal Conflicts”. October 7, 2017. MindMastery.com
___________________________________________________________________
NEED COUPLES OR RELIGIOUS TRAUMA COACHING?
My husband, Kevin, is now taking new clients as a couples and religious trauma coach.
He’s a Licensed Professional Counselor in the state of Colorado and offers therapy in person, by video call, and by telephone within state lines, but can provide therapy-informed coaching outside of the state and even outside of the country.
To find out more about how to work with him, check out his page on the Colorado Counseling Center website. Click on the link labeled “Schedule with Kevin” to talk with his secretary, Annette, about how to work with him in either capacity as a therapist or as a coach. She’ll be able to give you all of the information you need to decide if working with Kevin is the right fit for you.
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DONATE TO THE PODCAST AND JOIN THE LIVE WEEKLY DISCUSSION:
Want to be a part of the live discussion and learn more about your childhood values? Join us for the live weekly discussion this Wednesday at 6:30pm MT.
Monthly donors will be invited to weekly live discussions and group coaching every Wednesday at 6:30pm Mountain Time (8:30pm Eastern/ 5:30pm Pacific). Make a monthly tax-deductible donation of any amount at emancipateyourmind.org .
New donors will be automatically added to the email list every month on the 5th with links to the discussions, exclusive exercises and tools to help you recover faster, and invitations to attend any additional workshops this year for free. To be added to the email list more quickly, please email us at teri@emancipatedcoaching.com right after making your donation and you’ll be added to the list within 24-48 hours.
We hope to see you there!
FREE COMMUNITY:
Not ready to donate but still want to join in online community and text discussions? Come join the Emancipate Yourself Facebook group to share your thoughts on today’s podcast and ask more questions.
The post Emancipate Your Mind: 101: Resolving Internal Values Conflicts appeared first on Mormon Discussions Podcasts - Full Lineup.
Everyday, you’re making choices about what to do with your limited time, money, attention, and energy. Every time you say “yes” to one thing, you’re effectively saying “no” to several other things you could be doing with those resources.
If you’re spending your limited resources on things that don’t matter much to you, you’ll feel stuck, unfulfilled, and perhaps even exhausted. However, if you can learn to become crystal clear about what matters the most to you, you can make conscious decisions to focus the bulk of your time, energy, and money towards these things and you’ll feel a lot more fulfilled and less likely to feel resentful about the things that you’ve given up in pursuit of your values.
This episode goes through the first steps of discovering your core values and learning to prioritize them according to what matters most to you…the real you, not the person you feel you “should” be.
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RESOURCES:
Fitzpatrick, Ronalynn. “How to Identify and Prioritize Personal Values, Plus Why It Matters.” TheDailyPositive.com
Hurst, Kiley. “More than half of Americans live within an hour of family.” May 18, 2022. PewResearch.org.
Jeffrey, Scott. “7 Steps to Discover Your Personal Core Values”. ScottJeffrey.com
Manson, Mark. “No, You Can’t Have It All”. MarkManson.com
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PROMPTS TO HELP YOU DISCOVER YOUR VALUES
What qualities do you appreciate in other people? (Conversely, what qualities in others really annoy you or piss you off?)
What activities do you NEED in your life to feel sane, whole, and happy?
What are your most important possessions? Why are these important?
What do you want to achieve in life?
What would you least like to lose in life?
What are your most cherished memories?
What inspires you?
What is missing in your life?
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DONATE TO THE PODCAST AND JOIN THE LIVE WEEKLY DISCUSSION:
Want to be a part of the live discussion and learn more about your childhood values? Join us for the live weekly discussion this Wednesday at 6:30pm MT.
Monthly donors will be invited to weekly live discussions and group coaching every Wednesday at 6:30pm Mountain Time (8:30pm Eastern/ 5:30pm Pacific). Make a monthly tax-deductible donation of any amount at emancipateyourmind.org .
New donors will be automatically added to the email list every month on the 5th with links to the discussions, exclusive exercises and tools to help you recover faster, and invitations to attend any additional workshops this year for free. To be added to the email list more quickly, please email us at teri@emancipatedcoaching.com right after making your donation and you’ll be added to the list within 24-48 hours.
We hope to see you there!
FREE COMMUNITY:
Not ready to donate but still want to join in online community and text discussions? Come join the Emancipate Yourself Facebook group to share your thoughts on today’s podcast and ask more questions.
The post Emancipate Your Mind: 100: Discovering and Prioritizing Your Core Values appeared first on Mormon Discussions Podcasts - Full Lineup.
Every day you are creating a life based on your set of personal values. Do you know which values are running the show? If I asked you today what top 5-7 principles are informing most of your priorities and decisions, would you be able to answer confidently?
If your answer is no, you aren’t alone. Many of us haven’t taken the time to really understand the value system we’re operating our lives by. And for the vast majority of us, we’re continuing to shape our lives based on value systems that were instilled in us as children. These values may no longer align with who we are today.
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RESOURCES:
Adams, Scott. “How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big.” October 31, 2016. Joosr.
Davis, Tom. “Lacking Purpose and Motivation? You Don’t Know Your Values”. March 23, 2016. Your Positivity Coach.
De Witte, Melissa. “To Understand How People Think, Look at Their Actions Not Their Words.” August 2, 2019. Stanford News. Standford.edu.
Jaffe, Dennis. “When Company Values are Real and Visible, Everyone Benefits”. September 20, 2022. Forbes.
Padraig Coaching. “When Your Values No Longer Line Up With Your Company.” December 14, 2021. Medium.com
Patheos.com. “11 Signs You’re Living Outside Your Values”. February 12, 2018.
Prescod, Danielle. “Token Black Girl: A Memoir”. October 1, 2022. Little A.
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DONATE TO THE PODCAST AND JOIN THE LIVE WEEKLY DISCUSSION:
Want to be a part of the live discussion and learn more about your childhood values? Join us for the live weekly discussion this Wednesday at 6:30pm MT.
Monthly donors will be invited to weekly live discussions and group coaching every Wednesday at 6:30pm Mountain Time (8:30pm Eastern/ 5:30pm Pacific). Make a monthly tax-deductible donation of any amount at emancipateyourmind.org .
New donors will be automatically added to the email list every month on the 5th with links to the discussions, exclusive exercises and tools to help you recover faster, and invitations to attend any additional workshops this year for free. To be added to the email list more quickly, please email us at teri@emancipatedcoaching.com right after making your donation and you’ll be added to the list within 24-48 hours.
We hope to see you there!
FREE COMMUNITY:
Not ready to donate but still want to join in online community and text discussions? Come join the Emancipate Yourself Facebook group to share your thoughts on today’s podcast and ask more questions.
The post Emancipate Your Mind: 099: Which Childhood Values Are Still Running Your Life Today? appeared first on Mormon Discussions Podcasts - Full Lineup.
The authenticity movement has brought us a lot of great opportunity to learn more about ourselves and free ourselves from situations that don’t feel healthy for us.
On the flip side, with the authenticity movement has grown a binary way of thinking that is reminiscent of the high demand cultures we’ve worked so hard to deconstruct.
In this episode, Communications Coach, Chris Peck and I talk about how the binary of being authentic vs. inauthentic has been used by some public figures and leaders to police our behavior and why that’s a problem. We also discuss the dangers of “experts” setting themselves up as an authority to tell you the “right” way to be your own authority.
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HOW TO SPEND MORE TIME WITH CHRIS:
Webiste: https://www.speakintoactioncomm.com
Instagram: @chrisspeaksup
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RESOURCES:
Joseph, Stephen. “Authentic: How to Be Yourself and Why It Matters”. 2017. Piatkus.
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DONATE TO THE PODCAST AND JOIN THE LIVE WEEKLY DISCUSSION:
Want to be a part of the live discussion on what it means to be authentic with Teri and Chris? Join us for the live weekly discussion this Wednesday at 6:30pm MT.
Monthly donors will be invited to weekly live discussions and group coaching every Wednesday at 6:30pm Mountain Time (8:30pm Eastern/ 5:30pm Pacific). Make a monthly tax-deductible donation of any amount at emancipateyourmind.org .
New donors will be automatically added to the email list every month on the 5th with links to the discussions, exclusive exercises and tools to help you recover faster, and invitations to attend any additional workshops this year for free. To be added to the email list more quickly, please email us at teri@emancipatedcoaching.com right after making your donation and you’ll be added to the list within 24-48 hours.
We hope to see you there!
BEYOND THE WOUND SUMMIT:
Join us at your own pace this Sunday, February 5th at our first annual Beyond The Wound virtual summit. Interviews and panels will drop every Sunday from trusted licensed professionals and thought leaders in the religious trauma healing space. Access to the recorded interviews and live sessions lasts through March. Find support and tools to help you move with confidence beyond your religious trauma wounds and into a life of freedom and safety. Go to beyondthewound.com to register, and podcast20 for 20% off your registration fee. We hope to see you there because no one should have to walk the path of healing alone!”
FREE COMMUNITY:
Not ready to donate but still want to join in online community and text discussions? Come join the Emancipate Yourself Facebook group to share your thoughts on today’s podcast and ask more questions.
The post Emancipate Your Mind: 098: The Dangers of Binary Thinking in the Authenticity Movement with Chris Peck appeared first on Mormon Discussions Podcasts - Full Lineup.
Authenticity has become a huge topic of conversation in the past couple of decades.
While there is great freedom and personal guidance in getting curious about what does and does not feel good to us as individuals, there can also be a lot of confusion about what “being authentic’ means and even shame and fear about not showing up “authentically enough”.
This is especially true if you spent years of your life in a high demand system where you outsourced your sense of self to religious or parental authority.
In this episode, Chris Peck, my good friend and public speaking coach, agreed to continue our search for answers about authenticity by reading Stephen Joseph’s 2017 book, “Authentic: How to Be Yourself and Why it Matters” and record an open discussion about what we learned, what felt concerning to us both, and what new questions popped up from the reading material.
We hope you enjoy coming along on this philosophical journey with us.
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WHERE TO SPEND MORE TIME WITH CHRIS:
Webiste: https://www.speakintoactioncomm.com
Instagram: @chrisspeaksup
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RESOURCES:
Hanscom, David. “Stop Looking For Your Authentic Self”. December, 2022. PsychologyToday.com
Joseph, Stephen. “Authentic: How to Be Yourself and Why It Matters”. 2017. Piatkus.
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DONATE TO THE PODCAST AND JOIN THE LIVE WEEKLY DISCUSSION:
Have you always wanted to discuss the ideas in the podcast live with Teri and the rest of the community? Do you have questions about how the podcast can be applied to your personal life? Do you have insights you’d like to share? We’re trying something new this year! Monthly donors will be invited to weekly live discussions and group coaching every Wednesday at 6:30pm Mountain Time (8:30pm Eastern/ 5:30pm Pacific). Make a monthly tax-deductible donation of any amount at emancipateyourmind.org .
New donors will be automatically added to the email list every month on the 5th with links to the discussions, exclusive exercises and tools to help you recover faster, and invitations to attend any additional workshops this year for free. To be added to the email list more quickly, please email us at teri@emancipatedcoaching.com right after making your donation and you’ll be added to the list within 24-48 hours.
Join us for the live call this Wednesday night at 6:30pm MT.
BEYOND THE WOUND SUMMIT:
Join us at your own pace this Sunday, January 29th through February 5th, 2023 at our first annual Beyond The Wound virtual summit. Interviews and panels will drop every Sunday from trusted licensed professionals and thought leaders in the religious trauma healing space. Access to the recorded interviews and live sessions lasts through March. Find support and tools to help you move with confidence beyond your religious trauma wounds and into a life of freedom and safety. Go to beyondthewound.com to register, and podcast20 for 20% off your registration fee. We hope to see you there because no one should have to walk the path of healing alone!”
FREE COMMUNITY:
Not ready to donate but still want to join in online community and text discussions? Come join the Emancipate Yourself Facebook group to share your thoughts on today’s podcast and ask more questions.
The post Emancipate Your Mind: 097: You Can Only Ever Be The Authentic You with Chris Peck appeared first on Mormon Discussions Podcasts - Full Lineup.
If you’ve ever felt like you’re at war with yourself as you go after the things you want and need in life, it’s probably because there are childhood parts of you that aren’t used to having their wants and needs heard, validated, and met. Giving yourself what you want and need as an adult can feel scary to those parts and they can react in big emotional ways.
In this episode, we build on the work we discussed in Episode 20: Reparenting Your Inner Child to help you get out of the war zone and create a treaty between your childhood and adult parts. ___________________________________________________________________
RESOURCES:
“Do You Have a Wounded Inner Child? Here are 7 Key Signs”. October 2021. My Therapy Assistant.com
Goldstein, Esther. “What Is An Inner Child and What Does It Know?” 2022. Integrative Psychology.com
Grenny, Joseph. “Crucial Conversations”. Third Edition. October 2021. McGraw Hill.
“Reparenting Your Inner Child”. Episode 20. April, 2021. Emancipate Your Mind Podcast.
___________________________________________________________________ DONATE TO THE PODCAST AND JOIN THE LIVE WEEKLY DISCUSSION:
Have you always wanted to discuss the ideas in the podcast live with Teri and the rest of the community? Do you have questions about how the podcast can be applied to your personal life? Do you have insights you’d like to share? We’re trying something new this year! Monthly donors will be invited to weekly live discussions and group coaching every Wednesday at 6:30pm Mountain Time (8:30pm Eastern/ 5:30pm Pacific). Make a monthly tax-deductible donation of any amount at emancipateyourmind.org .
New donors will be automatically added to the email list every month on the 5th with links to the discussions, exclusive exercises and tools to help you recover faster, and invitations to attend any additional workshops this year for free. To be added to the email list more quickly, please email us at teri@emancipatedcoaching.com right after making your donation and you’ll be added to the list within 24-48 hours.
Join us for the live call this Wednesday night at 6:30pm MT.
BEYOND THE WOUND SUMMIT:
Join us at your own pace this Sunday, January 15th through February 5th, 2023 at our first annual Beyond The Wound virtual summit. Interviews and panels will drop every Sunday from trusted licensed professionals and thought leaders in the religious trauma healing space. Find support and tools to help you move with confidence beyond your religious trauma wounds and into a life of freedom and safety. Go to beyondthewound.com to register, and podcast20 for 20% off your registration fee. We hope to see you there because no one should have to walk the path of healing alone!”
FREE COMMUNITY:
Not ready to donate but still want to join in online community and text discussions? Come join the Emancipate Yourself Facebook group to share your thoughts on today’s podcast and ask more questions.
The post Emancipate Your Mind: 096: Healing Childhood Emotional Neglect Through Inner Child Work appeared first on Mormon Discussions Podcasts - Full Lineup.
“I still feel like I’m not allowed to want anything. The voice in my head says I’m selfish, ridiculous, or dramatic whenever I try to access my needs.”
“I feel like I’m at war with myself.”
“Sometimes I think it was easier to convince myself I didn’t have any wants or needs because then I wasn’t disappointed when they weren’t met.”
If last week’s episode on identifying your wants and needs left you feeling like some of these other listeners, you are far from alone. Many people deconstructing ideology from high demand religious and family systems struggle with this because of something called “childhood emotional neglect”.
When you grow up in a system where your emotional needs were invalidated, ignored, or just weren’t adequately addressed you learn to ignore your own emotions and the needs and desires your emotions communicate to you. You may even pick up the idea that your needs aren’t met because you aren’t worthy of having them met.
In this episode, we discuss what Childhood Emotional Neglect is and how it affects our ability to know our wants and needs and feel comfortable meeting them for ourselves or sharing them with others.
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SOURCES:
Brandt, Andrea, Ph.D., LMFT. 9 Signs of Childhood Emotional Neglect and 3 Ways to Heal. January, 2020. Psychology Today.
Morton, Kati, LMFT. 9 Signs of Childhood Emotional Neglect. August, 2022. YouTube.
___________________________________________________________________
DONATE TO THE PODCAST AND JOIN THE LIVE WEEKLY DISCUSSION:
Have you always wanted to discuss the ideas in the podcast live with Teri and the rest of the community? Do you have questions about how the podcast can be applied to your personal life? Do you have insights you’d like to share? We’re trying something new this year! Monthly donors will be invited to weekly live discussions and group coaching every Wednesday at 6:30pm Mountain Time (8:30pm Eastern/ 5:30pm Pacific). Make a monthly tax-deductible donation of any amount at emancipateyourmind.org .
New donors will be automatically added to the email list every month on the 5th with links to the discussions, exclusive exercises and tools to help you recover faster, and invitations to attend any additional workshops this year for free. To be added to the email list more quickly, please email us at teri@emancipatedcoaching.com right after making your donation and you’ll be added to the list within 24-48 hours.
Live discussions begin Wednesday, January 16th at 6:30pm Mountain time.
BEYOND THE WOUND SUMMIT:
Join us at your own pace this Sunday, January 15th through February 5th, 2023 at our first annual Beyond The Wound virtual summit. Interviews and panels will drop every Sunday from trusted licensed professionals and thought leaders in the religious trauma healing space. Find support and tools to help you move with confidence beyond your religious trauma wounds and into a life of freedom and safety. Go to beyondthewound.com to register, and podcast20 for 20% off your registration fee. We hope to see you there because no one should have to walk the path of healing alone!”
FREE COMMUNITY:
Not ready to donate but still want to join in online community and text discussions? Come join the Emancipate Yourself Facebook group to share your thoughts on today’s podcast and ask more questions.
The post Emancipate Your Mind: 095: Childhood Emotional Neglect and the Difficulty Identifying Your Wants and Needs appeared first on Mormon Discussions Podcasts - Full Lineup.
Transcript
This year on the podcast, we’ll be talking about how to “fill the void” after deconstruction. But in order to do that in a healthy way that helps you operate as your own authority, recognize red flags, set boundaries, and avoid high demand relationships and groups, we have to spend some time building our relationship with ourselves.
In today’s episode, we work with one of the key questions almost all of us have after deconstructing high demand religion: “What do I want?”
It can be a particularly elusive question for many of us because we were taught to trust outside authority instead of our own inner voice or we may have been taught to silence our inner voice altogether.
However, today we explore using emotions that many of us were taught were sinful or dangerous in high demand Christianity (like anger, disgust, and envy) as guideposts to reconnect with what we really desire and need.
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DONATE TO THE PODCAST AND JOIN THE LIVE WEEKLY DISCUSSION:
Have you always wanted to discuss the ideas in the podcast live with Teri and the rest of the community? Do you have questions about how the podcast can be applied to your personal life? Do you have insights you’d like to share? We’re trying something new this year! Monthly donors will be invited to weekly live discussions and group coaching every Wednesday at 6:30pm Mountain Time (8:30pm Eastern/ 5:30pm Pacific). Make a monthly tax-deductible donation of any amount at emancipateyourmind.org .
New donors will be automatically added to the email list every month on the 5th with links to the discussions, exclusive exercises and tools to help you recover faster, and invitations to attend any additional workshops this year for free. To be added to the email list more quickly, please email us at teri@emancipatedcoaching.com right after making your donation and you’ll be added to the list within 24-48 hours.
Live discussions begin Wednesday, January 16th at 6:30pm Mountain time.
BEYOND THE WOUND SUMMIT:
Join us at your own pace, January 15th – February 5th, 2023 at our first annual Beyond The Wound virtual summit. Interviews and panels will drop every Sunday from trusted licensed professionals and thought leaders in the religious trauma healing space. Find support and tools to help you move with confidence beyond your religious trauma wounds and into a life of freedom and safety. Go to beyondthewound.com to register, and podcast20 for 20% off your registration fee. We hope to see you there because no one should have to walk the path of healing alone!”
FREE COMMUNITY:
Not ready to donate but still want to join in online community and text discussions? Come join the Emancipate Yourself Facebook group to share your thoughts on today’s podcast and ask more questions.
The post Emancipate Your Mind: 094: What Do I Want? (And Why Haven’t I Figured It Out Yet?) appeared first on Mormon Discussions Podcasts - Full Lineup.
Transcript
In this Part 2 episode with Licensed Professional Counselor, Kevin Hales, we explore some of the first steps towards healing fragile masculinity.
Kevin shares ideas about what men themselves can do to become aware of and heal subconscious programming about what it means to be a man. He also talks about how those of us in relationship with men who may feel insecure about others stepping out of the roles society has provided for them can create safe spaces for conflict resolution conversations.
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION
WANT TO TALK WITH KEVIN? Kevin is a licensed professional counselor at Colorado Counseling Center in Centennial and Castle Rock, Colorado. Licensed therapists in the United States can only practice in the state they are licensed in. If you’re anywhere in Colorado, Kevin would love to talk with you about religious trauma, marriage relationships, family relationships, parenting or addictions of any kind. Find him at his website here: https://www.coloradocounselingcenter.com
Come join the Emancipate Yourself Facebook group to share your thoughts on today’s podcast, be a part of shaping future episodes of the podcast, and find out about how to join the LIVE Question and Answer sessions about each podcast next year.
DONATE TO THE PODCAST:
Want to be part of the VIP community that gets to interact with Teri weekly, ask live questions about the content, and help shape future episodes for the learning and continued healing of all listeners? Consider making a monthly tax-deductible donation at emancipateyourmind.org . Even a $1 donation each month allows us to continue growing this broadcast and unlocks all of the behind the scenes content that’s coming in 2023.
ONE TO ONE COACHING WITH TERI
Email: teri@emancipatedcoaching.com
The post Emancipate Your Mind: 092: First Steps Towards Healing Fragile Masculinity with Kevin Hales appeared first on Mormon Discussions Podcasts - Full Lineup.
Transcript Patriarchal systems don’t just attempt to put women in their place, but also men. The system constructs a “box” that men must stay in to be considered “real men”. In this episode, my husband and Licensed Professional Counselor, Kevin Hales and I explore how limiting our ability to express ourselves as humans into stereotypical… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 091: Understanding Fragile Masculinity with Kevin Hales
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Transcript Have you ever wanted to speak up and either found it difficult to open your mouth or felt horrible afterwards? Have your found yourself downplaying your authority or your experience to make others more comfortable? Does it feel like even when you do speak up, no one really hears you? In this episode, life… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind 090: Practicing Vocal Empowerment with Terina Maldonado
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Do you ever find yourself wanting to speak up, to change something about your life for the better, but find the words getting stuck in your throat? Do you ever notice yourself ignoring parts of yourself to make other people comfortable in an attempt to preserve a relationship? This episode focuses on some of the… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 089: Combatting Learned Voicelessness
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In this episode, Reiki master, podcaster and co-star of the recent Hulu documentary “Mormon No More”, Lena Osborne, talks about the importance of listening to the wisdom of your body that comes through emotions and physical sensations and how building a relationship with that feminine wisdom already inside of us can help us shed messages… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 088: Embracing the Feminine Wisdom in Your Body with Lena Osborne
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In this episode, Reiki master, podcaster and co-star of the recent Hulu documentary “Mormon No More”, Lena Osborne, talks about the importance of listening to the wisdom of your body that comes through emotions and physical sensations and how building a relationship with that feminine wisdom already inside of us can help us shed messages… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 088: Embracing the Feminine Wisdom in Your Body with Lena Osborne
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There is a prevalent myth, particularly in high demand religion, that there exists such a thing as an “ideal woman”. In Christianity, she is described in Proverbs 31. But this idea that there is a feminine “ideal” that women should strive for exists across religions from Islam to Hinduism. You’ve likely encountered this idea out… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 087: Internalized Misogyny and the “Ideal Woman”
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Continuing the conversation from last week about Yahweh’s connection to a mother goddess, Asherah, we progress into how she was discredited and divorced in Genesis. We also talk about the cultural and societal context that may have prompted this divorce, codifying the patriarchy into religious text that was considered direct and irrefutable truth from God… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 086: Yahweh’s Divorce of the Divine Feminine
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Christianity and Patriarchy have a long history together, starting with the creation mythology in the first chapter of Genesis. While the scriptural text itself, whether you read it in the original Hebrew or any other translation, has some obvious though brief patriarchal references, it’s been the 2000+ years of male, mostly European, commentary on the… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 084: “The Serpent Beguiled Me”: How Genesis Set the Stage for 2000 Years of Christian Sexism
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In part 2 of our discussion on interdependency, Kevin and I talk about the ground rules needed to create safe space for both parties to feel seen, heard, and validated in a healthy relationship. Kevin talks particularly about how curiosity and the desire to understand matter more than the actual words we say. When we… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 083: Building Interdependent Relationships (Part 2) with Kevin Hales
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Many times, those of us who are healing from relationships of codependence sometimes slingshot to the other side of the dependence spectrum into extreme independence. However, as Kevin mentions in this first part of our discussion, either extreme can be dangerous or hurtful to our sense of well being. In this first part of our… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 082: Building Interdependent Relationships (Part 1) with Kevin Hales
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Do you have someone in your life that you love dearly that tends to drive you crazy with their lack of self awareness and emotional intelligence, their inability to empathize, or their inability to resolve or even approach conflict? You’re likely dealing with an emotionally immature person. In this episode, we explore why many of… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 081: Safe and Sane Relationships with Emotionally Immature People
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This month has been a dumpster fire in the LDS and ex-LDS communities as we’ve watched the Mormon church respond to allegations that they’ve been covering up child sexual abuse. Since the Associated Press investigation broke, my Licensed Professional Therapist husband and I haven’t been able to stop reading and researching and discussing what we’ve… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 080: Organizational Narcissism and the LDS Church’s Response to Child Sex Abuse Allegations
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The final type of narcissism that you’re most likely to run into in high demand religion is the vulnerable narcissist. This type of narcissist will often seem like the perpetual victim of life circumstances. They’ve had a rough life and they need YOU to save them. Their narcissistic supply is the pity and sympathy of… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 079: The Victim and the Martyr: Understanding Vulnerable Narcissism
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High demand religions often teach us to deny ourselves and spent our lives in the service of others. While service because we’re passionate about a cause and care about making the world a better place can be a beautiful part of expressing our humanity, when coupled with the idea that we’re not allowed to have… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 078: The Superior Saint: Communal Narcissism at Church
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If you were raised in a high demand religion that prized unquestioning obedience even if it harmed you or someone you cared about, believed that your faith was “the one truth”, and that taught you that your purpose was to convince or save others from the errors of their ways, you were likely groomed to… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 077: Spiritual Elitism and the Self Righteous Narcissist
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Before we embark on a series exploring covert narcissism in high demand religion, I think it’s important we address one of our collective biggest fears: Are we all just a bunch of narcissists? In today’s episode, we discuss how you can recognize the basic traits that all clinical narcissists have and questions you can ask… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 076: Am I a Narcissist?
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In this last installment of our 4 part discussion we explore one final possibility for why it can be so hard for us to rest and relax guilt and anxiety free: we’re trying to avoid our difficult emotions. In order to rest and recover, we have to put away our work and embrace the quiet.… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 075: Numbing Your Emotions with Busyness
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This week we dig further into why so many of us continue to work even when our bodies and minds are begging with us to rest. One possible reason may be a pattern called “Insecure Overachievement”. Insecure overachievement is a behavior pattern we use to get validation, approval, and to fill self-worth wounds. Because our… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 074: Why You Feel Guilty About Resting, Part 3: Insecure Overachievement
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Over the past couple of years, we’ve collectively taken several hits to our nervous system. When that happens, sometimes we get stuck in a pattern of “fight or flight”, constantly on alert for the next threat. In this episode, we talk about how the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems operate and complement one another during… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 073: Understanding and Calming and Overstimulated Nervous System
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Have you ever felt guilt or anxiety when you try to rest, relax, or go on vacation? Do you sometimes feel driven to be productive, even when you’re exhausted mentally or physically? In this series we’ll explore some of the common reasons individuals find themselves unable to be fully present when resting. In this episode,… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 072: Why You Feel Guilty About Resting, Part 1: Internalized Capitalism
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When we have a loud or persistent inner critical voice, it can sometimes feel like we’re at war with ourselves. What if we understood that that part of us isn’t trying to be an enemy, but our friend? What if we knew that this part, harsh and critical as it is, is trying to keep… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 071: Befriending Your Inner Critic
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In this episode, District 18 Candidate for Texas Senate, Josh Tutt, talks about how 3 of his guiding principles have helped him worry less about what people will think of him as an openly gay man running for office and be the change he wishes to see and he believes Texans deserve. To follow Josh… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 070: Living a Life of Least Regrets with Texas Senate Candidate, Josh Tutt
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Have you ever tried to change a behavior or thought pattern but found yourself getting “blocked”, distracted, or feeling resistance to change? Do you feel recurring depressive thoughts or anxiety that you can’t explain? You’re likely encountering a protective part of you that is trying to shield a wounded childhood version of yourself from further… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 069: Integrating Your Protector “Parts”
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Sometimes we may feel like we are at odds with ourselves as we heal from religious and childhood trauma and attachment injuries. There may be part of ourselves that feels excited and free as we move towards the next chapter in our lives, and another part of ourselves that feels anxious, afraid, and even ashamed… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 068: Understanding the Different “Parts” of Yourself
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While it’s been found that learning to be more authentic (to live true to our own values, beliefs, feelings, and needs) can bring us a greater sense of self esteem, lower stress, and greater life satisfaction, many of us can get caught up in old subconscious thought patterns when trying to live authentically that can… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 067: The Paradox of Authenticity
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Whether you’re leaving a high demand religion or coming out as LGBTQIA+, talking to those you love can feel daunting and overwhelming. In today’s episode, Coming Out Coach, Sally Osborne, walks us through the things she’s learned about coming out to friends and family members in a way that honors our feelings and boundaries and… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 066: Coming Out with Confidence with Sally Osborne
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Most people want their parents’ approval. The fear of disappointing parents seems to be a near universal concern. For those of us healing from high demand Christian religion, this is often compounded by the indoctrination that we must “honor father and mother” if we want to be a good person. And even worse, “honor” is… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 065: Honoring Your Parents While Disappointing Them
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The fear of disappointing others is usually pretty high for those of us deconstructing high demand religious indoctrination and practices. Because high demand systems often encourage codependency, we often believe we are responsible for other people’s emotions and even sometimes their feelings of self-worth. When other people are disappointed with us or just don’t like… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 064: The Fear and Freedom of Disappointing Others
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The family scapegoat and golden child roles are two sides of the same coin, and neither role has to do with the merit of the child themselves. It all has to do with how the parent sees themselves. In this episode, we explore what traits the golden child may have in adulthood, the benefits and… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 063: Triangulation with The Golden Child
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This week we unravel what it’s like to be the scapegoat in a dysfunctional family, why a scapegoat role is created, how that person is conditioned over time, and how that affects them in adult life. We also explore some first steps for healing from the limiting beliefs and internalized shame this role can create… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 062: Understanding and Healing the Scapegoat Role
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Religious trauma is often tied to and perpetuated by dysfunctional family systems, particularly headed by one or more narcissists. In today’s episode, we explore the roles in narcissistic family systems and how that affects each person’s sense of safety, belonging, and ability to care for their own needs. _____________________________________________________________________________ JOIN THE DISCUSSION If you’d like… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 061: Roles in a Narcissistic Family System
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After the last episode with Monika Crowfoot, many people messaged me discussing how they felt caught between cultures like she did and felt inspired to learn more about their cultural heritage as a way to heal. I also received messages from some expressing that they wished they had a culture to reclaim. Many felt culture-less… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 060: Embracing Cultural Heritage
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In dualistic systems (good vs. evil thinking) there are some identities and traits that are favored and others that are considered “wrong” or “bad”. This leads people to try and assimilate to the identities that are considered “good” and hide or disown the parts of themselves that are considered “bad”. In this episode, Monika discusses… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 059: Reclaiming Indigenous Identity with Monika Crowfoot
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Bill and Britt sit down with Teri Hales, a certified religious transition and trauma recovery coach, and the host of the Emancipate Your Mind Podcast to discuss multiple components of the deconstruction process and to talk about the skills and tools that one can lean into to create a healthier better second half of life.… Read More »Almost Awakened: 094: Teri Hales – Emancipate Your Mind
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Over the past two years, we’ve collectively been in a state of ongoing trauma. A global pandemic, ecological disasters, political upheaval, supply chain problems and increasing inflation. Add onto this that many of us have undergone religious and ideological deconstruction, including deconstruction of ideas we were raised to believe based on gender, race, nationality, sexual… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 058: Handling Anxiety and Overwhelm
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In this episode, Charisse from The Existential Ginger podcast explores high demand religion, mental health, and suicidal ideation. We talk about how to recognize some of the signs and symptoms, what to do if you’re experiencing suicidal ideation, and how to help if you know someone who is. _______________________________________________________________________________ WANT MORE FROM CHARISSE? Listen to… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 057: High Demand Religion and Mental Health with Charisse from The Existential Ginger
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My experience with coaching has been that the majority of us from high demand religious backgrounds also experience codependent patterns in our relationships. Codependency happens when we don’t have a clearly defined sense of self and instead look to others for a sense of identity and rely heavily on others for our sense of self… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 056: Recognizing and Releasing Codependency
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“I know what is going wrong in my relationship, but how do I create a healthy relationship when I don’t think I’ve ever seen one before?” One of you asked this question a couple of weeks ago after the podcast on setting boundaries with a narcissist. It’s such a valid question because we can’t create… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 055: Elements of Healthy Attachment In Relationships with Kevin Hales
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We all have bias. Once we decide that something is “true” or “right”, our brain quits accumulating information that contradicts our beliefs. It does this to save us time and energy. However, for those of us who are deconstructing high demand, authoritarian systems of thought it’s especially crucial that we remain open to learning new… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 054: Confirmation Bias and Freedom to Grow
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“Religion has the ability to impact which identities you hold onto, which identities you deny, and even what identities you think are possible and are valid”. “At its best, religious culture can be beautiful grounds for human flourishing, but at its worst it can be incredibly suppressive.” In this episode, public speaker, writer, and ordained… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 053: Religion and Identity with Alicia T. Crosby
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If you were raised in a high demand religion you were likely taught about a punitive, narcissistic, abusive, or codependent god. In this discussion with fellow Deconstruction Coach, Kyle Bishop, we discuss some of the red flags of an abusive, narcissistic, or codependent god and how we were conditioned from a young age to enter… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 052: How Believing in an Abusive God Affects Our Identity with Kyle Bishop
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Boundaries are necessary to create healthy, safe, and trusting relationships. However, when we’ve been raised in codependent relationships with narcissists, our attempts at setting boundaries are often thwarted, ignored, or punished. Over time, our lack of boundaries can leave us feeling unfulfilled, misunderstood, confused about who we are, and often at the mercy of others.… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 051: Setting Boundaries with a Narcissist
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In the past 2 years of working with one to one clients, one of the most shocking discoveries for me was realizing how many people healing from religious harm are also dealing with the wounds from narcissistic abuse. Many of my clients don’t realize that the behavior of their parent, their partner, or their pastor… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 050: How to Spot a Narcissist
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The underlying mindset we have about our inherent worth and acceptability can make a big difference in how we experience growth for the year. There is a big difference in the mindset of “I need to change so that I am worthy of love” vs “I love myself so I want to change.” In this… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 049: Enough Already- Beginning the New Year’s Growth From a Mindset of Self-Acceptance
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I can’t believe this is the last episode of season 1! How did this year go by so fast? As we wrap up 10 months of discussions and healing, it’s so important to take some time and celebrate our wins along the journey. Celebrating creates momentum. It lights a fire underneath us. And when it… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 048: The Benefits of Celebrating Yourself
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One of the biggest sources of overwhelm, guilt, and even shame as we go through religious transition is the word “should”. Coming from high demand religion, many of us have a pile of “shoulds” that we’ve been striving to meet our whole lives. Now that we’re deconstructing, and especially during the holiday season, these shoulds… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 047: How To Stop “Shoulding” On Yourself
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As humans, we are wired for connection. Without a sense of connection we begin to wither both emotionally and physically. When we go through deconstruction, we often feel lonely because we don’t feel fully seen, accepted, and understood by the friends and family we once felt close to. In this episode, we explore the differences… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 046: The Importance of Belonging vs. Fitting In
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I think now, more than ever, we as a people understand the feeling of overwhelm. Over the past 2 years, we’ve dealt with all kinds of stressors: A world-wide pandemic. A faith transition. Political unrest. Climate change induced disasters. It feels like a lot because it is! If you’ve been feeling tired, stressed out, anxious,… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 045: Lessons From This Past Month On Dealing With Overwhelm
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Have you ever had a relationship where you didn’t feel entirely safe to be or express your full self? Have you ever found yourself walking around on eggshells around a friend or family member? Avoiding specific topics of conversation or stuffing difficulties in the relationship? Do you find yourself arguing with those you love? We… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 044: The 7 Ingredients of Trusting Relationships
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If you’re afraid of what will happen if you let yourself feel anger, you’re not alone. Most of the examples of experiencing anger we witness are unhealthy examples. We learned to become aggressive, passive aggressive, or suppressive with our anger from watching those around us and responding to what was rewarded and what was punished… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 043: Moving Towards Healthy Anger Patterns
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Who was taught that anger was evil? That it could destroy lives? That it was poison? Yeah. Me too. In this episode, we explore how this emotion serves us and helps us make healthy changes in our lives. We use our anger to get out of soul-sucking work situations to abusive relationships. We also use… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 042: Understanding the Gifts of Anger
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Many of us were conditioned to believe that religion was the only way to raise ethical, empathic, and responsible children. If you are anything like me, you may have spent weeks worrying about how you were going to raise children with a strong moral compass after leaving high demand religion. Rachel from Post Mormon Parenting… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 041: Raising Ethical Children After Religion with Rachel from Post Mormon Parenting
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Many people who have experienced religious trauma have struggled to understand the reasons they had elevated or even ecstatic feelings while attending a church that was also mentally and emotionally harming their sense of well being. Most were even told that those elevated emotions were evidence that the religious teachings were “true” and that any… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 040: Conversations About the Emotion of Elevation and Transcendent Experiences
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While studying about intuition, I began realizing that the way people describe the power of intuition sounded incredibly similar to how they described the gift of the holy ghost or being overpowered by the spirit. As I got curious with my findings and asked questions in the Facebook group (the link is below), I realized… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 039: Is The Holy Ghost Ever A Traumatic Doctrine?
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One of the biggest sources of confusion after leaving high demand religion is trying to discern whether the gut reactions you’re having stem from your inner knowing or from your indoctrination. In this episode, we explore ways to tap into your bodily sensations and your emotional experience to tell whether you’re feeling intuition or a… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 038: Hello? Is This My Intuition Or Trauma Speaking?
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All of the most innovative and successful people report that intuition is a big part of their success. Albert Einstein, Winston Churchill, Oprah Winfrey, Steve Jobs…even Paul McCartney. It’s no wonder that we’d want to know more about how this process works. This is why in recent years, with the improvements in brain imaging and… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 037: What We Know About How Intuition Works
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Have you ever experienced that feeling of frustration or dissonance when you’re living out of alignment with your core personal values? Are you aware of what your core personal values are? Have you ever given them language? In your religious life, did you find that one of the things you enjoyed was having language for… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 036: Discovering Your Personal Values
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I had never heard the term “cognitive dissonance” before going through religious transition, but once I learned what it was it really helped me understand my experience in the church and my difficulty changing behaviors after leaving. It also helps me have more understanding and even compassion for those who discount my personal experience with… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 035: Cognitive Dissonance
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This episode was inspired by a debate I had with a childhood friend over the word “indoctrination” a few months ago. She believes that we can’t teach children morals or how to live happy, successful lives without indoctrinating them. That didn’t feel right to me. So, in true nerd fashion, I researched it. This episode… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 034: Education or Indoctrination?
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This week we’re digging into undue influence or mind control. Why? Because one of the bigger concerns I hear from people who have left high demand religion is the fear that they’ll fall prey to deception, misinformation, or undue influence again. So many of us can’t understand why we couldn’t see the coercion clearly and… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 033: Protecting Yourself From Undue Influence
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I hear this exclamation more times than I can count in my line of work. And while there’s something that makes us shy away from looking at whether we may have been victim to authoritarian control, there’s also something liberating about understanding why we made some of the decisions we did. This podcast looks at Steve… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 032: OMG! Was I in a Cult?
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Have you ever wondered why you went along with certain things while you were active in your religion? Have you ever experienced something traumatic at church and felt like it was your own fault because you willingly participated? Do you find yourself holding yourself to religious promises you made when you were younger or feeling… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 031: Consent or Coercion? Revisiting Choices We Made When Religious
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I should have known when creating a podcast on intention vs. impact that I’d also get a chance to work on making sure my intentions and impact were in alignment. I’m still learning just like all of you. In this, take 3, of this episode, we discuss why it’s not just our intentions that matter… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 030: Intention vs. Impact
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Grief has been on my mind this week as I prepare to attend my 17-year-old nephew’s funeral in Utah. In this episode, I dive into the complicated emotional roller coaster that is grief. I hope to normalize the common experiences we all have when moving through loss and hopefully provide some language and understanding for… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 029: Understanding Grief
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Today we’re diving into the practice of somatic experiencing as a way to help locate and release trauma in the body. MindBody Mentor, Shawna Kathleen, talks about her own experience with autoimmune disease, relationship abuse, and sexual trauma and how learning to use somatic feedback from her body allowed her to begin alchemizing the pent… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 028: Somatic Experiencing and the Release of Trauma with MindBody Mentor, Shawna Kathleen
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Everyone numbs emotionally from time to time when we’re overwhelmed and we’re not sure how to process what we’re experiencing. Any substance or behavior can be used as a numbing mechanism if we do it to avoid feeling difficult emotions or to avoid exploring difficult thoughts. While the we gain the benefit of escape for… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 027: Understanding Numbing Behaviors
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Over the past decade, so much research has emerged showing that mindfulness, or the practice of being completely focused on the present, is not just helpful for calming our nervous systems, helping us focus, and helping us feel more satisfied with our lives, but can also help people who are healing from trauma. When we’re… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 026: Healing Trauma with Mindfulness Practice
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There’s no doubt that those who are able to look at life’s challenges with hope and optimism enjoy a lot of proven benefits. They have less stress, better health, and live longer. They also are able to bounce back from life’s challenges with more resilience. However, sometimes our quest for positivity can actually be harmful.… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 025: Healthy Positivity vs. Toxic Positivity
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When we share our stories with those who have earned the right to hear them, we not only help ourselves become more shame resilient, we make safer spaces for others to share their own stories. When people are shame resilient, they are better able to be authentic, to have compassion for themselves and others, to… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 024: The Importance of Sharing Our Stories with Public Speaker, Terina Maldonado
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Sometimes one of the most helpful tools for healing is understanding what is going on. When we know that the grief, anger, confusion, fear, loneliness, and sense of feeling displaced are all common when you’re experiencing religious trauma, it can make it easier to be patient with ourselves throughout the experience. You may also experience… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 023: What Is Religious Trauma Syndrome?
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Have you ever just lost it for no reason and caught yourself thinking, “What in the world is going on with me?” Have you ever found yourself having a full body panic attack out of the blue? Have you ever found yourself inexplicably avoiding people you used to love hanging with, but now feel unsafe… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 022: Trigger Warning: Understanding What Triggers Our Trauma
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Living a financially free life has less to do with income and more to do with intention. Often when we come from a high demand religion, we are conditioned to believe that money is the root of all evil. We may shy away from making too much of it, or having any left over in… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 021: Female Financial Empowerment with Financial Coach, Lisa Schader
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Today we’re talking about something different and a little woo-woo but that has also been so effective in helping many of my clients and me heal from wounds created in our childhood. All of us have some trauma in our past. Sometimes we experience big T trauma: things we usually think of as traumatic, neglect… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 020: Reparenting Your Inner Child
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If you struggle with people pleasing and/or codependent patterns with people you care about, it’s at least in part because you struggle with setting healthy boundaries. So many of us were taught that not having clear boundaries was a sign of love and trust. But actually, it’s the exact opposite. Trusting relationships all include healthy… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 019: Creating Healthy Boundaries
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One of the most difficult parts of leaving religion is often telling our loved ones. We want to be honest and transparent about our decisions, but we also want our families to still accept and love us. We often try to accomplish both by doing hundreds of hours of research and soul searching to find… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 018: Loving Your Reason For Leaving with Life Coach, Kara Sakievich
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If you find that you have an impossible time saying no, apologize for everything even when something is not your fault, are exhausted trying to meet the needs of others, and can’t remember the last time you had guilt-free free time….you may be a people pleaser. People pleasing is simply another coping mechanism we developed… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 017: To All Of My Fellow People Pleasers
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Perfectionism is a coping mechanism we develop in order to keep ourselves safe from emotional discomfort. Listen to this episode for more information about how perfectionism develops and what it feels like for those who experience it. Learn the differences between high achievers and perfectionists and the difficulties perfectionists often experience on their path to… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 016: Identifying and Healing Perfectionism
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We talk a lot about shame, but when you’ve been raised your whole life in a high-shame culture, sometimes it can be hard to detect it in everyday life, even in other people. I recently read Mike McHargue’s book “Finding God in the Waves” and the last bit of the book was full of lingering… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 015: What Does Shame Actually Sound Like?
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Do you find it really hard to forgive yourself when you make mistakes? Are you harder on yourself than anyone else? Many of us were taught that having compassion for ourselves would lead to weakness and self-indulgence, but studies over the past decade have proven differently. Self compassion has been shown to be a trait… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 014: Developing Self-Compassion
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Leaving religion doesn’t have to mean leaving behind a relationship with God. If you desire to keep a connection with the divine after a faith transition, this episode explores 4 ways for you to experience the “god feeling”, no church, synagogue, or mosque needed. Psssst: If you have some burning questions you’d like answered, email… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 013: Q&A: Can I Maintain A Relationship with God After Faith Transition?
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For many who leave high demand religion, learning to trust oneself again after finding out you’ve been abandoning your inner knowing for years can be difficult. In this episode, we normalize how we got to where we are today while exploring ways we can begin to rebuild and strengthen the trusting relationship we have with… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 012: Learning to Trust Yourself Again
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I almost didn’t choose this question for today’s Q&A because your faith transition is NOT about what I believe and value now that I’ve left my former religion. It’s about what YOU believe and value. But because this is the question I get asked more than any other since transitioning out of my Mormon faith,… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 011: Q&A: What Do You Believe Now? (And The Questions Behind That Question)
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When was the last time you had someone really tune into what you were saying? Give your their undivided attention? Take in your words, really think them over, and then check back in with you to make sure they understand what you are trying to convey? When was the last time you were asked curiosity… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 010: How to Actively Listen in Conversations with Marriage Therapist, Kevin Hales
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This might be one of the questions I hear the most from those questioning their faith or deciding to leave. None of us want to disappoint, hurt, embarrass, or drive a wedge between ourselves and our parents. We want our parents to be proud of us. And yet, part of growing up to be an… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 009: Q&A: How Do I Tell My Parents I’m Leaving The Church Without Disappointing Them?
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Empathy is a key ingredient to building trust between ourselves and our loved ones. But many of us weren’t taught what empathy is or how to use it. Luckily, empathy is a skill set that can be learned and practiced to create safe spaces for us to discuss vulnerable topics and ultimately feel more understood… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 008: Practicing Empathy for Stronger Relationships with Marriage Therapist Kevin Hales
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You asked, and I answered! My inbox has been flooded with questions…questions that are common to those of us who have gone (or are going) through religious transition. I decided y’all deserve answers sooner than later. And you’ll get them each Thursday morning. Introducing: The Midweek Question and Answer Mini Episode. This week, I’m answering… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind Q&A: 007: Which Do I Want? A Therapist or a Life Coach?
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Change is inevitable in our relationships. As individuals we learn new information, we expand our understanding, and we change our values, beliefs, and lifestyles based on this new understanding. This isn’t a failing, this is the natural course of maturing as a human being. It’s said that “each of us gets married 3 different times… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 006: Difficult Conversations in Mixed Faith Relationships with Marriage Therapist, Kevin Hales
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We love our partners and our parents, but we all know the special kind of torture it can be to experience a conflict cycle with the people we love most. You know what I’m talking about. It’s a kind of “dance” we engage in when we’re upset with one another. We almost know how the… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 005: Understanding the Conflict Cycle in Relationships with Marriage Therapist, Kevin Hales
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What ARE limiting beliefs? A limiting belief is simply a thought you’ve thought so many times it feels true. These beliefs may be supported by our experiences, our culture, and the information we subconsciously focus on. But in assuming the belief is true, we limit our capability to think and live creatively. We put ourselves… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 004: Moving Past Limiting Beliefs
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My favorite topic to talk about! For me, this was the key to healing and self-discovery. Going through a religious transition (or any kind of life transition) can leave you feeling a range of emotions. Each emotion is there to give you information from your inner knowing about what you need to heal and what… Read More »Emancipate Your Mind: 003: Feelings Are Messengers: What Are Yours Saying?
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the authority in your own life! If you’re ready to get curious about things we’ve taken for granted as absolute “truth” and allow yourself to examine whether you’d like to keep those beliefs…or not…hop in the vehicle! We’re going on a wild ride this year!
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