Grieving Insomniacs, a podcast about grief.: Recent Episodes
Grieving Insomniacs, a podcast about grief
Grieving Insomniacs is a podcast about grief. I was living an average life. Married with two children working as a counselor in a profession that I loved. On June 19. 2011 that life was destroyed. My oldest son died unexpectedly. Almost immediately I felt betrayed by my profession because I was a counselor. I should have known how to handle his death. The loneliness started almost immediately. I felt so alone. I stopped sleeping and the people around me began to disappear. I knew grieving moms need support. I created this podcast to help support others, so they are not alone like I was. Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/grievinginsomniacs/support
In this heartfelt episode, we explore the profound and painful journey of a mother diagnosed with cancer, following the loss of her son, Christopher, to the same disease. We delve into the depths of fear, grief, and guilt, and discover how these emotions can shape a desire for a more authentic life. Join us as we discuss the lessons of grief, the resilience of the human spirit, and the strength it takes to navigate such an intense and personal storm. This episode highlights the raw truth of surviving cancer as a grieving mother and the powerful journey toward healing and authenticity."https://www.instagram.com/grievinginsomniacs/
https://ahealingplaceforgrief.com/
In this episode, we delve into the "Dark Night of the Soul," a term that describes the deep, transformative crisis many people endure during periods of intense grief and major life changes—at the same time, discussing the hiatus in podcast episodes due to life changes. Christopher's birthday and death day have recently passed along with the death of some dear family members. May and June are not months of happiness for our family. This episode aims to provide comfort, and support, to listeners navigating their dark nights, ultimately reminding them that there is light and growth on the other side of their struggles.
https://www.instagram.com/grievinginsomniacs/?hl=en
https://ahealingplaceforgrief.com/
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Welcome to Grieving Insomniacs the podcast where we explore the raw and real experiences of life, grief, and healing. I'm your host, Cristi Habermann and in today's episode, we're delving into a topic that holds profound significance for many: surviving Mother's Day as a grieving mother.
Mother's Day, a day celebrated with joy and love, can also be a source of profound pain for those who have lost a child. For grieving mothers, this day can feel like a relentless reminder of what's been lost, amplifying the ache of absence and the complexity of emotions.
In this episode, we will discuss the ways that our past experiences, beliefs, and history can impact how grieving mothers survive Mother's Day. We'll explore the various ways in which this day can evoke a spectrum of emotions, from sorrow and longing to peace.
Through candid conversations and heartfelt reflections, we'll shed light on the unique challenges that grieving mothers face during this time and offer insights into how to honor and remember their children amidst the sea of Mother's Day celebrations.
Whether you're a grieving mother seeking solace and understanding or someone looking to support a grieving loved one, this episode aims to provide comfort, solidarity, and a sense of community.
So, join us as we embark on this journey of remembrance, resilience, and renewal. This is Grief Reflections: Navigating Mother's Day as a Grieving Mother."
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Today marks my granddaughter's 13th birthday, a day etched with profound significance in my son's tumultuous journey. It ranks as one of the toughest days he ever faced, second only to the heart-wrenching news of a cancer diagnosis on his 25th birthday. My granddaughter, just three months old when he passed away, remains a poignant symbol of love and loss in our family's narrative.
For many years, I found myself estranged from her family, unable to partake in the joyous moments of her growing up. Not once have I had the opportunity to celebrate her birthday in person. Instead, this day acts as a precursor to the crescendo of grief that peaks on June 19th, laden with anniversary dates and haunting memories. With each passing year, the burden of navigating through this emotional terrain grows heavier.
In this episode, I contemplate what I would convey to my granddaughter if she were to unexpectedly appear at my doorstep on her 18th birthday. I grapple with the complexities of absence, longing to bridge the chasm that separates us, yearning for the chance to share in her milestones.
It pains me to acknowledge that my experience is not singular. Many grandparents find themselves distanced from their grandchildren following the loss of their children. I wish this were not a topic I needed to podcast about, yet here we are. Join me in this conversation, and share your thoughts on this journey of grief and separation.
Also, listen to "In the beginning there was death." Episode 1
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I've returned following an unintentional hiatus of a month. In this episode, I delve into a recent discussion I had with friends regarding the dynamics of friendships. Through this conversation, I realized that the experience of grief has altered the way I perceive these relationships. I find myself not feeling as intimately connected to people as I once did, and this extends to my relationships with family members. Has this happened to you? Let's talk about it on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/grievinginsomniacs/?hl=en
and on Facebook. https://www.facebook.com/grievinginsomniacs/
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Grief triggers can sneak up on you when you least expect it, catching you off guard. In my recent experience, one such trigger catapulted me back to the day right after Christopher passed away. As I found myself navigating the memories and emotions of that moment, it hit me – grief is not a hurdle to overcome; it's a lifelong journey. Join me in this week's episode as I share the raw and real details of riding the wave of grief.https://www.instagram.com/grievinginsomniacs/?hl=en
https://cristihabermann.com/home/grieving-insomniacs-podcast/
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The onset of a new year typically results in the creation of resolutions. Everywhere you turn, there are news articles, blog posts, and memes echoing the sentiment of a "new year, new you." However, for those grappling with grief, this season proves to be challenging. Each new year signifies another year without their cherished ones, a continuous stream of memories left unmade due to the absence of their loved ones. Navigating the transition from one year to the next becomes a formidable task.
For our journaling prompt this year, let's explore abstaining from resolutions in 2024. What would it entail to concentrate on living in the present amidst the throes of grief? Could you awaken each day and immerse yourself in every moment? Cast aside any diet plans or intentions to alter your identity. Instead, focus on being fully present as you are and granting yourself the space to grieve without constraint.
grieving #grievingmom #grievingmomsforever #griefstagram #griefneverends #grievingmother #griefneverends #griefawareness #griefhurts #grievingprocess #grievingoutloud #grievingpodcast #grievingjourney #grievingason #griefislifechanging #grievingparent #griefsupport #grief #grievingmother #amothersgrief #griefclub #podcastersofinstagram #griefandhealing #griefandgratitude #griefandlosssupport #griefandloss #grievingmom #grieving #griefjourney #gettingrealaboutgriefhttps://www.instagram.com/grievinginsomniacs/?hl=en
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n the midst of last week's reflective journaling exercise, I unearthed a profound realization about my struggle to embrace joy during the holiday season. The overwhelming sense of disloyalty I feel towards my departed child casts a shadow over my Christmas celebrations. Join me as I unveil the journey of self-discovery that led to this insight, delving into the methods I employed to navigate these emotions while journaling. Moreover, I share invaluable coping strategies from this process, offering solace amidst the emotional turmoil. Looking ahead, the upcoming prompt beckons us to either pen a heartfelt Christmas letter addressed to our cherished departed child or leverage the newfound wisdom gleaned from our introspective journaling expedition.
I would love to hear what you learned if you want to share with me at https://www.instagram.com/grievinginsomniacs/?hl=en
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Journaling is one of the most helpful ways I have found to cope with my grief journey. When our feelings and minds are confused and full of sadness it can be hard to decide on where to start. Sometimes we need a helping hand. This is why I created the Journal with me series.
Each week we will use a prompt to get us started in our grief journal. This week's prompt is what I am missing about my child at Christmas. Write for at least one page and 1/5 without checking your grammar or spelling. Keep writing until you feel like you have said everything you need to say. If you cry, write through your tears. As you write you will have an insight into yourself. This will be your topic for the next journal entry.
Trust the process and trust yourself. Your mind and body will lead you to where you need to go to better cope with your grief.
Feel free to share your insights with me on Instagram.https://www.instagram.com/grievinginsomniacs/?hl=en
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This week's podcast does not have a theme or a particular message. It is more random thoughts and experiences from the week surrounding thoughts about death, dying, and particularly grief at Thanksgiving. I realized this week that we live in a society that does not allow anyone to be sad. It seems like sadness is being equated with depression and as such is being treated as a mental illness. Sadness is not the same as depression. As I moved through the week toward a holiday that is not particularly friendly or welcoming to grieving people; I began to think about death and dying. When I think of Christopher my concerns over how he died are never far away and in my opinion perfectly normal. As you listen to the podcast today, I hope it helps normalize any thoughts or experiences you had surrounding Thanksgiving that you hide from others. We are all on this journey of grief together but separately.
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The message "The dark night of the soul" popped into my head when I was thinking about an appropriate topic for the Thanksgiving holiday podcast. In researching, I found several references to the Dark Night of the Soul. One was from Dr. Gerald May, and the other was from Eckhart Tolle. I will link both of them below.
As I explored the concept of the Dark Night of the Soul, I realized that the holidays symbolize the dark side of my grief and the dark side of my emotions.
As I made these connections I wondered what these three things: The dark night of the soul, the dark side of grief, and the dark side of one's personality have in common that they would present themselves as a topic for a holiday podcast.
The answer is that the concepts of the "dark night of the soul," the dark side of grief, and the dark side of your personality share common themes around intense and challenging experiences that involve deep introspection, struggle, and transformation.
The dark night of the soul refers to a spiritual crisis where a person loses their identity and their connection to who they are along with their connection to what they believe.
The dark side of grief refers to the intense and painful emotions experienced during mourning. This can include anger, guilt, depression, and a sense of disorientation or lack of direction in life following a significant loss. The dark side of grief involves grappling with the depth of pain and sorrow associated with loss.
The dark side of personality refers to aspects of one's character or psyche that are typically hidden, repressed, or less socially acceptable. These aspects may include traits such as aggression, jealousy, selfishness, or other negative behaviors that can emerge in certain situations. Understanding and integrating these darker aspects of the personality is often part of psychological growth and self-awareness.
This time of darkness from Thanksgiving to March symbolizes rest and restoration for nature. When spring comes the land, animals, and plants will be refreshed and renewed with new growth.
In our grief, we can take this same time to use it to go within ourselves to understand our grief, find our purpose, and begin anew again after the holidays and into spring.
https://www.amazon.com/Dark-Night-Soul-Psychiatrist-Connection/dp/0060750553
https://eckharttolle.com/eckhart-on-the-dark-night-of-the-soul/
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In today's episode of "Grieving Insomniacs," we delve into why grief can become particularly overwhelming during Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving serves as a poignant symbol of all that we have lost. It revolves around the concept of family, cherished traditions, and shared meals—a living embodiment of a Norman Rockwell painting. For a grieving mother, this holiday is a time of mourning for those who are absent. If you have any understanding of grief, it's important to recognize that the holidays can act as potent triggers for intense emotions in grieving mothers.
In this episode, we explore how feelings of sadness and joy often coexist, occurring simultaneously. We emphasize that whatever emotions you may be experiencing are valid. Join us as we engage in a discussion on this complex interplay of emotions during the holiday season.
https://cristihabermann.com/home/grieving-insomniacs-podcast/https://www.instagram.com/grievinginsomniacs/?hl=en
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Summer has now turned to fall in the frozen north. Very quickly after Halloween, the first significant snowfall of the season will occur. Winter will move in and it becomes a time of reflection. This year has me reflecting on how my grief has changed over the years. The holidays are always difficult. In the 11 years since becoming a grieving mom, I have learned the importance of assessing my own ability to cope with the holidays. In the podcast today I talk about how our emotional health, mental health, and physical health can and do impact our grieving. Having traditions is critical to surviving the holidays. In this episode, I share some of my traditions with you.
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https://cristihabermann.com/home/grieving-insomniacs-podcast/
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In today's episode, I share everything I wish non-grieving people knew about grief.
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After the death of a child the life you knew before that moment is over.
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Grief is solitary and lonely.
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Grief destroys relationships and your health.
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There is no way to escape grief. You dream about it. Feel it and think about it all of the time.
Please share with me what you wish people knew about grief.
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In today's episode, we delve into the subject of Tonkin's Model of Grief. When exploring various grief theories through a Google search, Tonkin's Model of Grief may appear as a potential option. However, it is essential to clarify that Tonkin's model primarily pertains to the experience of parental loss, specifically the loss of a child, and emphasizes the process of adapting and growing while carrying the weight of grief. Therefore, it is not entirely accurate to categorize it as a comprehensive grief theory.
This distinction holds significance because numerous online sources erroneously label Tonkin's model as a theoretical framework. In the realm of academic discourse, a genuine theory is founded on rigorous scientific evidence and offers a systematic framework for comprehending facets of the human condition, including grief. Mislabeling models as theories can lead to misconceptions and misapplications.
Furthermore, we explore the transformative influence of social media on the experiences of grieving mothers. The digital landscape has emerged as a catalyst for social change, where each narrative shared and every grief-related meme disseminated contributes to the creation of a supportive and empathetic community. This communal sharing of grief narratives has facilitated a societal shift, making it more acceptable today than a decade ago to openly acknowledge enduring grief over a lifetime, a stark contrast to the era when grief was often concealed and unspoken. https://www.instagram.com/grievinginsomniacs/?hl=en
www.cristihabermann.com
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In today's episode, we discuss how to determine whether a counselor is going to meet your needs for grief counseling. This podcast episode offers valuable insights and practical advice for individuals who are seeking support and guidance through the complex journey of choosing a grief therapist. We explore various aspects of what makes a grief counselor a good match for the grief counseling process. We discuss helping listeners understand how to select the right counselor who can provide the support and assistance they need during this challenging time. We cover these topics in today's episodes:
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How to complete an interview with a therapist that you want to hire to assist you with your grief.
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What is a theoretical orientation and why does it matter?
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How to inquire about what type of style the therapist uses to assist clients?
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Which methods of counseling do they use?
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Which grief theory models do they use to assist clients?
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The difference between life coaching, counseling, and peer support.
Leave me a message on Spotify letting me know if you like the new style of podcast or prefer the story telling style.
Thanks for listening. https://www.instagram.com/grievinginsomniacs/?hl=en
https://cristihabermann.com/
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Welcome to another episode of Grieving Insomniacs, the podcast where we explore the complex journey of grief and healing. In today's episode, we'll delve into the Dual Process Model of grief. In this episode we break the Dual Process Model down into its key components. Developed by Margaret Stroebe and Henk Schut in the 1990s, this model suggests that grieving individuals oscillate between two primary processes: loss-oriented and restoration-oriented activities. We'll explore how these processes are like two sides of a coin, each playing a crucial role in helping individuals adapt to their new reality. Loss-oriented activities involve directly confronting the emotional pain associated with the loss. On the other hand, restoration-oriented activities focus on the practical aspects of life, like work, relationships, and daily routines. The Dual Process Model hypothesizes that finding a balance between these two processes in grief helps people cope with grieving. We discuss the pros and cons of this model in the loss of a child. Additionally, we discuss how a therapist might guide someone who lost a child through grief using this model.
Bio:
I was living the average life. I was married with two children working in a profession that I loved. On June 19. 2011 that life was destroyed and I became another person. My oldest son died unexpectedly. My son did not die from cancer. Chemotherapy killed him. It is a common experience, but I didn’t know that then. I thought that chemotherapy was going to save him. Almost immediately I felt betrayed by my profession because I was a counselor. I should have known how to handle his death. The loneliness started almost immediately. I felt so alone. I stopped sleeping and the people around me began to disappear. I knew I needed community. 10 years later I am finally in a place where I am trying to build the community that I so desperately needed when Christopher first died. We can’t change that our children died, but we can help each other through it. Join me in creating a community for grieving mothers to share our stories creating a sacred space for authentic grieving.
It is my mission for the podcast to provide grieving mothers everywhere a safe, sacred space where their grief is accepted. It is through the podcast that the culture of silence that surrounds the suffering of the mother will be dismantled, and a culture of support will be created. It is our vision to create a community where we can share our questions, and concerns, and support each other.
I am here, and I am listening. I am honored to hear your story.
https://wordpress.com/view/grievinginsomniacs.wordpress.com
We hope you will like and subscribe to get regular updates on our show.
If you have questions or concerns, send us a message at grievinginsomiacs@gmail.com or leave us a message at https://anchor.fm/grievinginsomniacs/message.
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Welcome back to another episode of Grieving Insomaniacs. Today we have a profound and essential topic: Continuing Bonds in Grief Therapy. Continuing Bonds as a way to navigate grief was developed by Phyllis Silverman, Dennis Glass, and Steven Nickman in their book Continuing Bonds, New Understanding of Grief. This theory states that instead of severing our connection to our deceased loved ones, we find ways to continue the relationship. Some practical examples of how to incorporate this theory in your own grief experience are provided. Our host, Cristi Habermann shares how she used this theory to develop her relationship to her son through the use of memories and imagination. Join us in our discovery that grief doesn't have to be an ending but it can be a path to new beginnings.
The link to their books is below.
https://www.amazon.com/Continuing-Bonds-Understandings-Education-Health/dp/1560323396/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2CVAA6H10D3JH&keywords=continuing+bonds+new+understandings+of+grief&qid=1694366000&sprefix=continuing+bonds%2Caps%2C140&sr=8-1
https://cristihabermann.com/home/grieving-insomniacs-podcast/
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In today's episode, we dive deep into the profound impact of unfinished farewells and the complex emotions that come with not getting the chance to say goodbye. Life often interferes with our ability to say goodbye, leaving us with unsaid words, unexpressed feelings, and a longing for closure. Your host Cristi Habermann explores the impact of the weight of unfinished business with the untimely death of her son, and other relatives. In her attempt to seek closure for herself, she shares tips on how to navigate the transition of death. Cristi learned how to develop a connection with her son through the love they shared and memories. Listen in as she shares what she has learned in this podcast.
"Death is but a transition from this life to a shared connection of love and memories. "
Biography:
Cristi was living the average life. I was married with two children working in a profession that I loved. On June 19. 2011 that life was destroyed and I became another person. My oldest son died unexpectedly. My son did not die from cancer. Chemotherapy killed him. It is a common experience, but I didn’t know that then. I thought that chemotherapy was going to save him. Almost immediately I felt betrayed by my profession because I was a counselor. I should have known how to handle his death. The loneliness started almost immediately. I felt so alone. I stopped sleeping and the people around me began to disappear. I knew I needed community. 10 years later I am finally in a place where I am trying to build the community that I so desperately needed when Christopher first died. We can’t change that our children died, but we can help each other through it. Join me in creating a community for grieving mothers to share our stories creating a sacred space for authentic grieving.
It is my mission for the podcast to provide grieving mothers everywhere a safe, sacred space where their grief is accepted. It is through the podcast that the culture of silence that surrounds the grief of the mother will be dismantled, and a culture of support will be created. It is our vision to create a community where we can share our questions, and concerns, and support each other.
I am here and I am listening. I am honored to hear your story.
https://wordpress.com/view/grievinginsomniacs.wordpress.com
We hope that you will like and subscribe to get regular updates on our show.
If you have questions or concerns, send us a message at grievinginsomiacs@gmail.com or leave us a message at https://anchor.fm/grievinginsomniacs/message.
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I had a grief nightmare last night that sent me on a quest to research them. In the podcast today I discuss what areas of the brain are active when we sleep that are involved in dreams and nightmares. Nightmares occur during REM sleep. We have about four cycles of REM sleep a night. The longer we sleep the longer the REM cycles last which results in more nightmares and dreams in the early mornings. Several things can cause nightmares such as stress, medical disorders, medications, and bereavement. Using my dream as an example we walk through how to use the information obtained in the dreams to highlight areas that need attention in our lives. Our dreams and nightmares are often symbolic of our past experiences and current stressors combined with the current moment. Using these symbolic messages we can learn to cope with the nightmares. Several techniques are discussed for coping with nightmares. One technique is practicing an alternative outcome to the situation. A second technique is coping with the emotions that are triggered by the nightmares. Finally, use all the information from your nightmares to help you find a path to resolve the conflict or experience that is interfering with your sleep. Listen in and let me know what you think.
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Biography:
I was living the average life. I was married with two children working in a profession that I loved. On June 19. 2011 that life was destroyed and I became another person. My oldest son died unexpectedly. My son did not die from cancer. Chemotherapy killed him. It is a common experience, but I didn’t know that then. I thought that chemotherapy was going to save him. Almost immediately I felt betrayed by my profession because I was a counselor. I should have known how to handle his death. The loneliness started almost immediately. I felt so alone. I stopped sleeping and the people around me began to disappear. I knew I need community. 10 years later I am finally in a place where I am trying to build the community that I so desperately needed when Christopher first died. We can’t change that our children died, but we can help each other through it. Join me in creating a community for grieving mothers to share our stories with each other creating a sacred space for authentic grieving.
It is my mission for the podcast to provide grieving mothers everywhere a safe, sacred space where their grief is accepted. It is through the podcast that the culture of silence that surrounds the grief of the mother will be dismantled, and a culture of support will be created. It is our vision to create a community where we can share our questions, and concerns, and support each other.
I am here and I am listening. I am honored to hear your story.
https://wordpress.com/view/grievinginsomniacs.wordpress.com
It is our hope that you will like and subscribe to get regular updates on our show.
If you have questions or concerns, send us a message at grievinginsomiacs@gmail.com or leave us a message at https://anchor.fm/grievinginsomniacs/message.
Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/grievinginsomniacs/message
Any Google search on grief will display multiple types of grief, from the loss of a job to the break up of a relationship to the loss of a loved one. All these grief experiences are different, and we need to quit discussing them as if they are the same. In today's episode, I discuss all the reasons why the loss of a job is not similar to the loss of a child. My first reason is the physiological response after the loss of a child is significantly different than when you lose a job. The second reason is that the brain changes in response to the traumatic loss of a child. The second reason is that putting all grief types in the same category ensures that a therapist or other professional will treat them as all the same. This is why grieving mothers become so frustrated with therapists who minimize their grief. It is because they believe it is the same. We can change this by telling your story. Come on the podcast and be a part of the change by telling your grief story. Contact me at grieving insomniacs on Facebook or Instagram.
Biography:
I was living the average life. I was married with two children working in a profession that I loved. On June 19. 2011 that life was destroyed and I became another person. My oldest son died unexpectedly. My son did not die from cancer. Chemotherapy killed him. It is a common experience, but I didn’t know that then. I thought that chemotherapy was going to save him. Almost immediately I felt betrayed by my profession because I was a counselor. I should have known how to handle his death. The loneliness started almost immediately. I felt so alone. I stopped sleeping and the people around me began to disappear. I knew I need community. 10 years later I am finally in a place where I am trying to build the community that I so desperately needed when Christopher first died. We can’t change that our children died, but we can help each other through it. Join me in creating a community for grieving mothers to share our stories creating a sacred space for authentic grieving.
It is my mission for the podcast to provide grieving mothers everywhere a safe, sacred space where their grief is accepted. It is through the podcast that the culture of silence that surrounds the grief of the mother will be dismantled, and a culture of support will be created. It is our vision to create a community where we can share our questions, and concerns, and support each other.
I am here and I am listening. I am honored to hear your story.
https://wordpress.com/view/grievinginsomniacs.wordpress.com
We hope that you will like and subscribe to get regular updates on our show.
If you have questions or concerns, send us a message at grievinginsomiacs@gmail.com or leave us a message at https://anchor.fm/grievinginsomniacs/message
Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/grievinginsomniacs/message
Validation is when you accept someone's emotions and experiences. How many times have you heard someone say "It's time to get over your grief?" This is an invalidation of your grief experience. There are messages everywhere about grief, and how people are to respond to grief especially when it comes to losing a child. Most of these messages are invalidating.
Why do we care?
Because when a person feels invalidated they question their reality and start thinking something is wrong with them. When the truth is nothing is wrong with them. This invalidation can worsen the grief a person is experiencing and can lead to worsening emotional health. Validation matters.
Validation is when someone feels confirms a person's emotional experience even when they don't UNDERSTAND the experience. The grief after the loss of a child is hard to understand. There are physical, emotional, and cognitive changes to the person experiencing it. The beauty of it is a person doesn't need to understand it to validate a person's experience.
A simple "I hear what you are saying." "I see that you are sad" is all that is needed to validate someone's grief.
Silence is validating too. Just being present can sometimes be enough.
Listen in to more tips and get a better understanding of validation and grief.
Biography:
I was living the average life. I was married with two children working in a profession that I loved. On June 19. 2011 that life was destroyed, and I became another person. My oldest son died unexpectedly. My son did not die from cancer. Chemotherapy killed him. It is a common experience, but I didn’t know that then. I thought that chemotherapy was going to save him. Almost immediately I felt betrayed by my profession because I was a counselor. I should have known how to handle his death. The loneliness started almost immediately. I felt so alone. I stopped sleeping and the people around me began to disappear. I knew I needed community. 10 years later I am finally in a place where I am trying to build the community that I so desperately needed when Christopher first died. We can’t change that our children died, but we can help each other through it. Join me in creating a community for grieving mothers to share our stories creating a sacred space for authentic grieving.
It is my mission for the podcast to provide grieving mothers everywhere a safe, sacred space where their grief is accepted. It is through the podcast that the culture of silence that surrounds the grief of the mother will be dismantled, and a culture of support will be created. It is our vision to create a community where we can share our questions, and concerns, and support each other.
I am here and I am listening. I am honored to hear your story.
https://wordpress.com/view/grievinginsomniacs.wordpress.com
We hope you will like and subscribe to get regular updates on our show.
If you have questions or concerns, send us a message at grievinginsomiacs@gmail.com or leave us a message at https://anchor.fm/grievinginsomniacs/message.
Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/grievinginsomniacs/message
I attended a family reunion for my father's 80th birthday party this week. I was excited to see family and spend time with them. I did not expect to have my grief triggered by being with family. I was naive about my own grief and grief triggers. I tend to feel my grief as physical symptoms therefore, I was more tired than usual which led to irritability. After my experience, I want to share some times in hopes you can avoid being triggered as I was.
First of all, expect to be triggered.
Second: Have an escape plan for when you are triggered.
Third: Be honest about your grief.
Fourth: Surround yourself with emotionally safe people.
Lastly, You are not responsible for managing other people's grief or emotions surrounding the loss of your child.
Biography:
I was living the average life. I was married with two children working in a profession that I loved. On June 19. 2011 that life was destroyed and I became another person. My oldest son died unexpectedly. My son did not die from cancer. Chemotherapy killed him. It is a common experience, but I didn’t know that then. I thought that chemotherapy was going to save him. Almost immediately I felt betrayed by my profession because I was a counselor. I should have known how to handle his death. The loneliness started almost immediately. I felt so alone. I stopped sleeping and the people around me began to disappear. I knew I need community. 10 years later I am finally in a place where I am trying to build the community that I so desperately needed when Christopher first died. We can’t change that our children died, but we can help each other through it. Join me in creating a community for grieving mothers to share our stories with each other creating a sacred space for authentic grieving.
It is my mission for the podcast to provide grieving mothers everywhere a safe, sacred space where their grief is accepted. It is through the podcast that the culture of silence that surrounds the grief of the mother will be dismantled, and a culture of support will be created. It is our vision to create a community where we can share our questions, and concerns, and support each other.
I am here and I am listening. I am honored to hear your story.
https://wordpress.com/view/grievinginsomniacs.wordpress.com
It is our hope that you will like and subscribe to get regular updates on our show.
If you have questions or concerns, send us a message at grievinginsomiacs@gmail.com or leave us a message at https://anchor.fm/grievinginsomniacs/message.
Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/grievinginsomniacs/message
How you grieve can be affected by your attachment style? An attachment style is related to how a person connects to their primary caregiver as an infant. There are four types of attachment. 1. secure 2. anxious 3. anxious-avoidant, 4. avoidant. John Bowlby, an attachment researcher, and theorist, wrote in his book Attachment and Loss that our attachment system becomes activated in our grief. We use our attachment system to cope with adversity and cope with our grief.
Listen in as we discuss his theory and how it relates to your attachment style. Take the quiz below to find out what attachment style you have. My results were as I thought. I am part anxious, part avoidance, and part secure.
Take your quiz here https://www.npr.org/2022/02/09/1079587715/whats-your-attachment-style-quiz
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Grieving is confusing. Your feelings are all mixed up into one ugly ball of pain. It can be challenging to move out of the emotional pain into acceptance. Many people believe that to remember their loved one they have to have pain. This is not the case. You can move to a place of acceptance of the grief and having grief be a significant part of your life without pain. When our love is great, so are our memories. When you find yourself feeling stuck in your grief, find ways to have a connection with your deceased loved one. Use your imagination. Your signs from your loved one are different than everyone else's. It all depends on what you believe and on what your memories of your loved one are. Grief is a journey into ourselves. We learn to accept that we will grieve a lifetime once we accept ourselves as grieving people. Much love and acceptance to you as you listen. Reach out to me on Instagram, Facebook, or email.
Bio: Cristi Habermann was living the average life. She was married with two children working in a profession that she loved. On June 19. 2011 that life was destroyed and she became another person. Her oldest son died unexpectedly. Her son did not die from cancer. Chemotherapy killed him. It is a common experience, but she didn’t know that then. She thought that chemotherapy was going to save him. Almost immediately she felt betrayed by my profession because I was a counselor. She believed she should have known how to handle his death. The loneliness started almost immediately. She felt alone. She developed insomnia and the people around her began to disappear. She wanted to develop a grieving community. 10 years later She put this believe into practice and started the Grieving Insomniacs podcast where she is trying to build a community. We can’t change that our children died, but we can help each other through it. Join me in creating a community for grieving mothers to share our stories with each other creating a sacred space for authentic grieving.
It is my mission for the podcast to provide grieving mothers everywhere a safe, sacred space where their grief is accepted. It is through the podcast that the culture of silence that surrounds the grief of the mother will be dismantled, and a culture of support will be created. It is our vision to create a community where we can share our questions, and concerns, and support each other.
I am here and I am listening. I am honored to hear your story.
https://wordpress.com/view/grievinginsomniacs.wordpress.com
It is our hope that you will like and subscribe to get regular updates on our show.
If you have questions or concerns, send us a message at grievinginsomiacs@gmail.com or leave us a message at https://anchor.fm/grievinginsomniacs/message.
https://cristihabermann.com/home/grieving-insomniacs-podcast/
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Kia, the wonder dog is getting ready to cross the Rainbow Bridge. She has been my best friend, supporter, and grief companion since Christopher died. His death anniversary is on June 19, 2023. As we approach that day, the nightmares increase, and so does my sadness. Kia has been the one who gets up with me at night when I can't sleep. As June 19, moves closer I wonder if she will make it to that day. She is 13 years old and lived a good life. I just wonder what I am going to do without her. I, also, wondered about the meaning of her dying so close to Christopher's death day.
I don't want to say I celebrate the day Christopher died, but it is a day that impacts me every year. I honor his memories, his life, and my love for him. Please understand that all grievers' have similar difficulties on death anniversaries. Be kind. Be understanding.
Biography
I was living the average life. I was married with two children working in a profession that I loved. On June 19. 2011 that life was destroyed and I became another person. My oldest son died unexpectedly. My son did not die from cancer. Chemotherapy killed him. It is a common experience, but I didn’t know that then. I thought that chemotherapy was going to save him. Almost immediately I felt betrayed by my profession because I was a counselor. I should have known how to handle his death. The loneliness started almost immediately. I felt so alone. I stopped sleeping and the people around me began to disappear. I knew I need community. 10 years later I am finally in a place where I am trying to build the community that I so desperately needed when Christopher first died. We can’t change that our children died, but we can help each other through it. Join me in creating a community for grieving mothers to share our stories with each other creating a sacred space for authentic grieving.
It is my mission for the podcast to provide grieving mothers everywhere a safe, sacred space where their grief is accepted. It is through the podcast that the culture of silence that surrounds the grief of the mother will be dismantled, and a culture of support will be created. It is our vision to create a community where we can share our questions, and concerns, and support each other.
I am here and I am listening. I am honored to hear your story.
https://wordpress.com/view/grievinginsomniacs.wordpress.com
It is our hope that you will like and subscribe to get regular updates on our show.
If you have questions or concerns, send us a message at grievinginsomiacs@gmail.com or leave us a message at https://anchor.fm/grievinginsomniacs/message.
https://cristihabermann.com/home/grieving-insomniacs-podcast/
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I took the week off because Christopher's birthday was last week. I spent my time recharging and re-engaging in the grief talk. In today's episode, I discuss Complicated Grief Disorder. What are the symptoms and why they created this disorder in the first place?
In all mental health treatment diagnosis drives payment and treatment. It used to be that insurance would not pay for grief counseling. Now, there is a disorder called Complicated Grief Disorder. I have some thoughts about this disorder as a Grieving Mother, which I share in the podcast. We discuss coping with grief and how to help someone feel better when grieving.
Biography
I was living the average life. I was married with two children working in a profession that I loved. On June 19. 2011 that life was destroyed and I became another person. My oldest son died unexpectedly. My son did not die from cancer. Chemotherapy killed him. It is a common experience, but I didn’t know that then. I thought that chemotherapy was going to save him. Almost immediately I felt betrayed by my profession because I was a counselor. I should have known how to handle his death. The loneliness started almost immediately. I felt so alone. I stopped sleeping and the people around me began to disappear. I knew I need community. 10 years later I am finally in a place where I am trying to build the community that I so desperately needed when Christopher first died. We can’t change that our children died, but we can help each other through it. Join me in creating a community for grieving mothers to share our stories with each other creating a sacred space for authentic grieving.
It is my mission for the podcast to provide grieving mothers everywhere a safe, sacred space where their grief is accepted. It is through the podcast that the culture of silence that surrounds the grief of the mother will be dismantled, and a culture of support will be created. It is our vision to create a community where we can share our questions, and concerns, and support each other.
https://www.instagram.com/grievinginsomniacs/?hl=en
https://www.facebook.com/grievinginsomniacs
https://cristihabermann.com/home/grieving-insomniacs-podcast/
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May 27th, 2023 is Christopher's 37th birthday. It is the day I became a mother so many years ago. Now it is a day that brings both sadness and happiness. I am happy that I can remember Christopher and all the joy he brought to my life. But, I am also sad because he is dead. The nightmares have started as my brain tries to cope with the feelings that always run underneath my thoughts this time of year. I often wish I could see him as he would have been at 37 years old. How would he look? How would I be if he hadn't died? These thoughts and much more race through my mind. Concentrating the closer it gets to Saturday will become harder and harder. I become more irritable and sad. There is no cure. I can only get through it. In addition, to his birthday May 27th is the day he found out he had Hodgekins Lymphoma stage 3 B. It is the last day I talked to him. He died three weeks later on June 19, 2011. Listen in as I talk about how I survive the next three weeks.
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Biography:
I was living the average life. I was married with two children working in a profession that I loved. On June 19. 2011 that life was destroyed and I became another person. My oldest son died unexpectedly. My son did not die from cancer. Chemotherapy killed him. It is a common experience, but I didn’t know that then. I thought that chemotherapy was going to save him. Almost immediately I felt betrayed by my profession because I was a counselor. I should have known how to handle his death. The loneliness started almost immediately. I felt so alone. I stopped sleeping and the people around me began to disappear. I knew I need community. 10 years later I am finally in a place where I am trying to build the community that I so desperately needed when Christopher first died. We can’t change that our children died, but we can help each other through it. Join me in creating a community for grieving mothers to share our stories with each other creating a sacred space for authentic grieving.
It is my mission for the podcast to provide grieving mothers everywhere a safe, sacred space where their grief is accepted. It is through the podcast that the culture of silence that surrounds the grief of the mother will be dismantled, and a culture of support will be created. It is our vision to create a community where we can share our questions, and concerns, and support each other.
I am here and I am listening. I am honored to hear your story.
https://wordpress.com/view/grievinginsomniacs.wordpress.com
--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/grievinginsomniacs/messageSupport this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/grievinginsomniacs/support
Listen to today's episode of Grieving Insomniacs. It has rained for the last five days here. I wonder if Mother Nature knows that the world is full of grieving mothers that will be crying tomorrow. In the episode, I discuss the family dynamics of being a grieving mother. Christopher was my first-born son and when he was born my family was created. When he died the feeling of being in a family died with him. My children had all left home and I was alone again. I have been isolated from my family of origin for most of my adult life. My feelings of loneliness and isolation increase on most major holidays including Mother's Day. This year I did it differently and showed up for myself. I bought myself flowers and talked about how grateful I am that I have listeners. I have people show up every week to hear my grieving stories. I appreciate each and every one of you, especially on Mother's Day.
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In this episode of Grieving Insomniacs, we discuss Bereaved Mother's Day and Mother's Day. Do you wonder how you are going to cope with that day? Listen in as we discuss how to cope with our feelings and emotions surrounding the loss of our children. It is one of the most stressful holidays for a grieving mom.
The first and most crucial coping technique is to take care of yourself. This may mean staying home alone or taking extra time to have a cup of coffee/tea before the day starts.
- Buy your own bouquet of flowers.
- Don't have expectations of other people.
- Don't over-schedule yourself.
These are just a few ideas. Do you have some of your own ideas?
Leave a message here.https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/grievinginsomniacs/message and tell me about it.
Biography:www.cristihabermann.com
I was living the average life. I was married with two children working in a profession that I loved. On June 19. 2011 that life was destroyed and I became another person. My oldest son died unexpectedly. My son did not die from cancer. Chemotherapy killed him. It is a common experience, but I didn’t know that then. I thought that chemotherapy was going to save him. Almost immediately I felt betrayed by my profession because I was a counselor. I should have known how to handle his death. The loneliness started almost immediately. I felt so alone. I stopped sleeping and the people around me began to disappear. I knew I need community. 10 years later I am finally in a place where I am trying to build the community that I so desperately needed when Christopher first died. We can’t change that our children died, but we can help each other through it. Join me in creating a community for grieving mothers to share our stories with each other creating a sacred space for authentic grieving.
It is my mission for the podcast to provide grieving mothers everywhere a safe, sacred space where their grief is accepted. It is through the podcast that the culture of silence that surrounds the grief of the mother will be dismantled, and a culture of support will be created. It is our vision to create a community where we can share our questions, and concerns, and support each other.
I am here and I am listening. I am honored to hear your story.
https://wordpress.com/view/grievinginsomniacs.wordpress.com
It is our hope that you will like and subscribe to get regular updates on our show.
https://www.instagram.com/grievinginsomniacs/?hl=en
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On today's episode of Grieving Insomniacs, I discuss how painful small talk can be while you are grieving. I used to be this outgoing person making friends everywhere I went before Christopher died. The most painful social interaction after he died was meeting new people, who asked within minutes of meeting you "How many children do you have?" I dislike this question so much. I will do almost anything to avoid it. I am not sure whether it is because I don't want to deal with their reactions when they ask it or my feelings when they ask it. Either way, it is painful.
Here at Grieving Insomniacs, we are trying to change the social norms surrounding grief. One of the social norms that are most in need of change is asking someone how many children they have. If we understood the pain, and heartache that this question causes for so many people, would we stop asking it? Of course, we would. Let's start now. The next time you meet someone connect with them in a different way.
I, also discuss someways to cope with how to answer the question of "How many children do you have?" in this episode.
Biography:
The Grieving Insomaniacs Podcast is available on Anchor, Google Podcasts, and Spotify.
I was living the average life. I was married with two children working in a profession that I loved. On June 19. 2011 that life was destroyed and I became another person. My oldest son died unexpectedly. My son did not die from cancer. Chemotherapy killed him. It is a common experience, but I didn’t know that then. I thought that chemotherapy was going to save him. Almost immediately I felt betrayed by my profession because I was a counselor. I should have known how to handle his death. The loneliness started almost immediately. I felt so alone. I stopped sleeping and the people around me began to disappear. I knew I need community. 10 years later I am finally in a place where I am trying to build the community that I so desperately needed when Christopher first died. We can’t change that our children died, but we can help each other through it. Join me in creating a community for grieving mothers to share our stories with each other creating a sacred space for authentic grieving.
It is my mission for the podcast to provide grieving mothers everywhere a safe, sacred space where their grief is accepted. It is through the podcast that the culture of silence that surrounds the grief of the mother will be dismantled, and a culture of support will be created. It is our vision to create a community where we can share our questions, and concerns, and support each other.
I am here and I am listening. I am honored to hear your story.
https://wordpress.com/view/grievinginsomniacs.wordpress.com
It is our hope that you will like and subscribe to get regular updates on our show.
If you have questions or concerns, send us a message at grievinginsomiacs@gmail.com or leave us a message at https://anchor.fm/grievinginsomniacs/message.
--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/grievinginsomniacs/messageSupport this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/grievinginsomniacs/support
On today's episode of Grieving Insomniacs, we interview Angie Hanson of Butterflies and Halos. Angie is a grieving mom and widower who lost her brother to cancer. All of these deaths occurred in a short amount of time. Angie became frustrated with the greeting cards currently available about grief. She had been looking for a way to give back to the grieving community. She found her purpose in creating grieving greeting cards. We talk about grief, including her favorite saying "Always better together".
https://butterfliesandhalos.com/
https://www.etsy.com/shop/ButterfliesandHalos?ref=simple-shop-header-name&listing_id=1230500042
https://cristihabermann.com/home/grieving-insomniacs-podcast/
Bio:
I was living the average life. I was married with two children working in a profession that I loved. On June 19. 2011 that life was destroyed and I became another person. My oldest son died unexpectedly. My son did not die from cancer. Chemotherapy killed him. It is a common experience, but I didn’t know that then. I thought that chemotherapy was going to save him. Almost immediately I felt betrayed by my profession because I was a counselor. I should have known how to handle his death. The loneliness started almost immediately. I felt so alone. I stopped sleeping and the people around me began to disappear. I knew I need community. 10 years later I am finally in a place where I am trying to build the community that I so desperately needed when Christopher first died. We can’t change that our children died, but we can help each other through it. Join me in creating a community for grieving mothers to share our stories with each other creating a sacred space for authentic grieving.
It is my mission for the podcast to provide grieving mothers everywhere a safe, sacred space where their grief is accepted. It is through the podcast that the culture of silence that surrounds the grief of the mother will be dismantled, and a culture of support will be created. It is our vision to create a community where we can share our questions, and concerns, and support each other.
I am here and I am listening. I am honored to hear your story.
https://wordpress.com/view/grievinginsomniacs.wordpress.com
It is our hope that you will like and subscribe to get regular updates on our show.
If you have questions or concerns, send us a message at grievinginsomiacs@gmail.com or leave us a message at https://anchor.fm/grievinginsomniacs/message.
--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/grievinginsomniacs/messageSupport this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/grievinginsomniacs/support
Meditate with me in this week's episode. I wrote this meditation years ago early on in my grief. I missed the physical feeling of Christopher so much. I missed his hugs. I missed where I fit into his shoulder when he hugged me. I missed the smell of him. It was an ache that was deep and unrelenting. This meditation helped me focus on a specific memory of him hugging me. Using all our senses we re-create the physical and emotional connection to our loved ones. Listen in and meditate with me.
Biography
I was living the average life. I was married with two children working in a profession that I loved. On June 19. 2011 that life was destroyed and I became another person. My oldest son died unexpectedly. My son did not die from cancer. Chemotherapy killed him. It is a common experience, but I didn’t know that then. I thought that chemotherapy was going to save him. Almost immediately I felt betrayed by my profession because I was a counselor. I should have known how to handle his death. The loneliness started almost immediately. I felt so alone. I stopped sleeping and the people around me began to disappear. I knew I need community. 10 years later I am finally in a place where I am trying to build the community that I so desperately needed when Christopher first died. We can’t change that our children died, but we can help each other through it. Join me in creating a community for grieving mothers to share our stories with each other creating a sacred space for authentic grieving.
My mission for the podcast is to provide grieving mothers everywhere with a safe, sacred space where their grief is accepted. It is through the podcast that the culture of silence that surrounds the grief of the mother will be dismantled, and a culture of support will be created. It is our vision to create a community where we can share our questions, and concerns, and support each other.
I am here and I am listening. I am honored to hear your story.
https://wordpress.com/view/grievinginsomniacs.wordpress.com
It is our hope that you will like and subscribe to get regular updates on our show.
If you have questions or concerns, send us a message at grievinginsomiacs@gmail.com or leave us a message at https://anchor.fm/grievinginsomniacs/message.
--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/grievinginsomniacs/messageSupport this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/grievinginsomniacs/support
Today our podcast is about trust. Before my son died I moved through the world trusting that things would work out. That any problem that came my way could be solved. After Christopher died, I don't believe that anymore. I don't trust people. I don't trust that things will be okay. I plain don't trust in anything. This causes a problem though because I find myself isolated from people, events, and the world. I have not found a way to move beyond fear. I want to learn how to take a risk. In the podcast, I discuss how this lack of trust shows up in my life. I also, want to know do you struggle with trusting others after your child died. Do you struggle with taking risks and trusting in a positive outcome? Please dm me and let me know. I would really like to know is that a struggle for everyone or just me.
Thanks for listening. I appreciate everyone that shows up every week to listen.
Biography
I was living the average life. I was married with two children working in a profession that I loved. On June 19. 2011 that life was destroyed and I became another person. My oldest son died unexpectedly. My son did not die from cancer. Chemotherapy killed him. It is a common experience, but I didn’t know that then. I thought that chemotherapy was going to save him. Almost immediately I felt betrayed by my profession because I was a counselor. I should have known how to handle his death. The loneliness started almost immediately. I felt so alone. I stopped sleeping and the people around me began to disappear. I knew I need community. 10 years later I am finally in a place where I am trying to build the community that I so desperately needed when Christopher first died. We can’t change that our children died, but we can help each other through it. Join me in creating a community for grieving mothers to share our stories with each other creating a sacred space for authentic grieving.
It is my mission for the podcast to provide grieving mothers everywhere a safe, sacred space where their grief is accepted. It is through the podcast that the culture of silence that surrounds the grief of the mother will be dismantled, and a culture of support will be created. It is our vision to create a community where we can share our questions, and concerns, and support each other.
I am here and I am listening. I am honored to hear your story.
https://wordpress.com/view/grievinginsomniacs.wordpress.com
It is our hope that you will like and subscribe to get regular updates on our show.
If you have questions or concerns, send us a message at grievinginsomiacs@gmail.com or leave us a message at https://anchor.fm/grievinginsomniacs/message.
--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/grievinginsomniacs/messageSupport this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/grievinginsomniacs/support
On today's episode of Grieving Insomniacs, I discuss finding your pathway through grief. Your pathway is simply what you use to help you cope with your grief. The pathway consists of the tools you use to navigate. I used the following quote as a metaphor “And once the storm is over, you won't remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won't even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won't be the same person who walked in." by Haruki Murakami to describe the pathway. One thing that we guaranteed in grief is that we are moving through a storm. Your pathway can be how you navigate speaking with people about your deceased loved one. It can be how you chose to remember them. No matter how you chose your pathway it can shelter you from the storm at least temporarily. There are times in grief when we need that break.
I also, talk about judgment in grief. Grievers receive enough judgment from non-grievers that we don't need judgment in our community. Please, please be kind.
Grieving Insomniacs is an inclusive podcast. All are welcome here.
Biography I was living the average life. I was married with two children working in a profession that I loved. On June 19. 2011 that life was destroyed and I became another person. My oldest son died unexpectedly. My son did not die from cancer. Chemotherapy killed him. It is a common experience, but I didn’t know that then. I thought that chemotherapy was going to save him. Almost immediately I felt betrayed by my profession because I was a counselor. I should have known how to handle his death. The loneliness started almost immediately. I felt so alone. I stopped sleeping and the people around me began to disappear. I knew I needed community. 10 years later I am finally in a place where I am trying to build the community that I so desperately needed when Christopher first died. We can’t change that our children died, but we can help each other through it. Join me in creating a community for grieving mothers to share our stories creating a sacred space for authentic grieving.
It is my mission for the podcast to provide grieving mothers everywhere a safe, sacred space where their grief is accepted. It is through the podcast that the culture of silence that surrounds the grief of the mother will be dismantled, and a culture of support will be created. It is our vision to create a community where we can share our questions, and concerns, and support each other.
I am here and I am listening. I am honored to hear your story.
https://wordpress.com/view/grievinginsomniacs.wordpress.com
We hope that you will like and subscribe to get regular updates on our show.
If you have questions or concerns, send us a message at grievinginsomiacs@gmail.com or leave us a message at https://anchor.fm/grievinginsomniacs/message.
--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/grievinginsomniacs/messageSupport this podcast: https://anchor.fm/grievinginsomniacs/support
The question I most frequently receive from listeners is how do I get signs from Christopher? The answer is a belief that I can and lots of practice. Several paranormal experiences shaped my belief system surrounding supernatural events as a young child. I was an avid reader throughout my life and fantasy has always been a top favorite. I was watching Ghost Adventures, and Ghost Hunters long before Christopher died. The morning after Christopher died I was googling how to see an orb. I made the decision that day that I was going to find a way to talk to him. In the podcast, I describe what this journey looked like for me. It began with reading anything I could get my hand on the paranormal. I began journaling and meditating. I had a journal where I documented all of my Christopher signs. Listen in as I give more tips on how to connect and strengthen your belief system in getting signs from your loved ones.
Biography
I was living the average life. I was married with two children working in a profession that I loved. On June 19. 2011 that life was destroyed and I became another person. My oldest son died unexpectedly. My son did not die from cancer. Chemotherapy killed him. It is a common experience, but I didn’t know that then. I thought that chemotherapy was going to save him. Almost immediately I felt betrayed by my profession because I was a counselor. I should have known how to handle his death. The loneliness started almost immediately. I felt so alone. I stopped sleeping and the people around me began to disappear. I knew I need community. 10 years later I am finally in a place where I am trying to build the community I desperately needed when Christopher first died. We can’t change that our children died, but we can help each other through it. Join me in creating a community for grieving mothers to share our stories with each other creating a sacred space for authentic grieving.
It is my mission for the podcast to provide grieving mothers everywhere a safe, sacred space where their grief is accepted. It is through the podcast that the culture of silence that surrounds the grief of the mother will be dismantled, and a culture of support will be created. It is our vision to create a community where we can share our questions, and concerns, and support each other.
I am here and I am listening. I am honored to hear your story.
https://wordpress.com/view/grievinginsomniacs.wordpress.com
It is our hope that you will like and subscribe to get regular updates on our show.
If you have questions or concerns, send us a message at grievinginsomiacs@gmail.com or leave us a message at https://anchor.fm/grievinginsomniacs/message.
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It occurred to me this week that it is difficult to watch my son's friends move on with their lives when Christopher's life has ended. Christopher had a core group of friends that have gotten married, had children and moved on with their lives. This activated my grief again realizing that Christopher will never have these experiences. For those non-grievers out there it is critical that you understand that mourning what he didn't get to experience is as important as mourning him. I can not possibly move on with my grief. When he died the opportunity to grow in my relationship with him ended. I will never be a grandmother to his children. I will never see what he would have looked like at 35, 45, or 50 years old. I grieve these things as much as I grieve his death. As a culture let's move beyond the concept that moving on from grief is the goal and instead accept that grief is our lifelong companion. Listen in as we discuss in more depth how to accept that we have not moved on nor do we need to.
Biography
I was living the average life. I was married with two children working in a profession that I loved. On June 19. 2011 that life was destroyed and I became another person. My oldest son died unexpectedly. My son did not die from cancer. Chemotherapy killed him. It is a common experience, but I didn’t know that then. I thought that chemotherapy was going to save him. Almost immediately I felt betrayed by my profession because I was a counselor. I should have known how to handle his death. The loneliness started almost immediately. I felt so alone. I stopped sleeping and the people around me began to disappear. I knew I need community. 10 years later I am finally in a place where I am trying to build the community that I so desperately needed when Christopher first died. We can’t change that our children died, but we can help each other through it. Join me in creating a community for grieving mothers to share our stories with each other creating a sacred space for authentic grieving.
It is my mission for the podcast to provide grieving mothers everywhere a safe, sacred space where their grief is accepted. It is through the podcast that the culture of silence that surrounds the grief of the mother will be dismantled, and a culture of support will be created. It is our vision to create a community where we can share our questions, and concerns, and support each other.
I am here and I am listening. I am honored to hear your story.
https://wordpress.com/view/grievinginsomniacs.wordpress.com
It is our hope that you will like and subscribe to get regular updates on our show.
If you have questions or concerns, send us a message at grievinginsomiacs@gmail.com or leave us a message at https://anchor.fm/grievinginsomniacs/message.
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Thank you, Thank you to everyone that listens to my podcast. I couldn't have done this year without you. There were many times I didn't feel like I was doing any good by recording, but then someone would reach out and say "your podcast helps me." That has always been my goal. I wanted to help people feel like they were not alone in their grief. Coping with grief is easier when a person feels understood in their community. We have created a community here in our corner of the internet. Thanks for being here. If you are interested in coming on the podcast, email me at grievinginsomniacs@gmail.com. Send me a message on Instagram @grievinginsomniacs or on Facebook at Grieving Insomniacs.
I was living the average life. I was married with two children working in a profession that I loved. On June 19. 2011 that life was destroyed and I became another person. My oldest son died unexpectedly. My son did not die from cancer. Chemotherapy killed him. It is a common experience, but I didn’t know that then. I thought that chemotherapy was going to save him. Almost immediately I felt betrayed by my profession because I was a counselor. I should have known how to handle his death. The loneliness started almost immediately. I felt so alone. I stopped sleeping and the people around me began to disappear. I knew I need community. 10 years later I am finally in a place where I am trying to build the community that I so desperately needed when Christopher first died. We can’t change that our children died, but we can help each other through it. Join me in creating a community for grieving mothers to share our stories with each other creating a sacred space for authentic grieving.
It is my mission for the podcast to provide grieving mothers everywhere a safe, sacred space where their grief is accepted. It is through the podcast that the culture of silence that surrounds the grief of the mother will be dismantled, and a culture of support will be created. It is our vision to create a community where we can share our questions, and concerns, and support each other.
I am here and I am listening. I am honored to hear your story.
https://wordpress.com/view/grievinginsomniacs.wordpress.com
It is our hope that you will like and subscribe to get regular updates on our show.
If you have questions or concerns, send us a message at grievinginsomiacs@gmail.com or leave us a message at https://anchor.fm/grievinginsomniacs/message
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It's the year anniversary of Grieving Insomniacs on Feb 28, 2023. My first episode was published on 2/28/2022. To celebrate I am doing a giveaway of Beats Studio Buds. To enter the giveaway, please like my Instagram page Grieving Insomniacs and answer the question in the podcast. After listening to the podcast and answering the question, please send me a private message on Instagram saying done. I will draw a name from everyone that enters the giveaway and announce it on Feb. 28, 2023.
In the podcast today, we are discussing whether we can prepare for grief waves. Grief is often triggered by environmental events and can come crashing in often referred to as waves. These waves are uncontrollable and frequently take us by surprise. For me, these grief waves are often associated with death anxiety. I define death anxiety as fearing that someone is going to die at any moment from anything. But, especially from medical procedures. Death anxiety is not something I see talked about very much in grief. Death anxiety has become a trigger for my own grief waves. Ways to cope with death anxiety are discussed in the podcast and knowing that acceptance of death is one of those ways to cope.
The question to answer for the giveaway is do you have death anxiety?
If you are listening on a different platform than Spotify, leave me a message here: https://anchor.fm/grievinginsomniacs/message or you can include your answer in the dm you send on Instagram saying done.
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This week I had a profoundly spiritual experience with my deceased son. Music has been my go-to for feeling expression when I didn't have the words or when I was in a place where I could not express my feelings. In the podcast, I go into detail about a bad day because a little bit more bearable through music. I have always believed that my son communicates with me through music. As I was listening to the music I could see him in my mind's eye supporting me. As you listen to this podcast, think about the music you listen to. Does it speak to you? Does it bring back memories of your loved one? If it does, intensify those feelings and memories. Over time just the sound of the music will provide those feelings for you.
Feb. 27, 2023, is the one-year anniversary of the podcast. I will be doing a giveaway next week for all the podcast listeners. Tune in to next week's episode to hear all the details.
I have some links to amazon products that I use to listen to the podcast over on Facebook at Grieving Insomniacs. I do receive a small commission if you purchase the product.
There is a Grieving Insomniacs playlist on Youtube. One playlist is meditations that I enjoy and the second one is music that reminds me of Christopher. Go on over to Youtube and listen to the music playlist.
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There are elements of grief that we talk about that are considered acceptable such as missing our loved ones, or only memorializing the good memories of our loved ones. Then, the unacceptable parts of grief don't get talked about much. One of those inappropriate topics in grief is anger. My feelings were complicated because I could not accept that I was angry at my son for some of his choices that led to his death. I was angry at his choice to not allow the family to be around or to even talk to him weeks before his death. I found that I could not be angry with him out of fear that I was being disloyal to his memory.
After I accepted that he was human and made mistakes. I was able to appropriately feel my anger towards him and work towards resolving it. After resolving it I could work on forgiving him and myself for our mistakes.
I talk about these topics in an effort to normalize the grief experience and to educate others on the real effects of grief. Losing a child is the worst possible experience that someone can have, but is minimized in our society. It is only through our collective expression of experiences can we change the perceptions of society toward grieving mothers.
Listen in today as I talk about my experience with grief and anger. Send me a message if you would like to share your thoughts.
https://anchor.fm/grievinginsomniacs/message
https://www.instagram.com/grievinginsomniacs/?hl=en
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https://cristihabermann.com/home/grieving-insomniacs-podcast/
Check out my book on Amazon.com The Solitary Journey through the loss of a child.
To support my podcast check out my TeePublic website at https://www.teepublic.com/user/counselorcristi
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In today's episode, I discuss the differences between Grief, Depression, and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. At some point, a grieving mom might want to go to counseling. This podcast provides education and insight into how these three disorders differ from each other but are intertwined making diagnosis difficult. Why is diagnosis important? Diagnosis determines treatment and insurance reimbursement. Listen in as we talk about mental health and the various treatments available.
Biography:
I was living the average life. I was married with two children working in a profession that I loved. On June 19. 2011 that life was destroyed and I became another person. My oldest son died unexpectedly. My son did not die from cancer. Chemotherapy killed him. It is a common experience, but I didn’t know that then. I thought that chemotherapy was going to save him. Almost immediately I felt betrayed by my profession because I was a counselor. I should have known how to handle his death. The loneliness started almost immediately. I felt so alone. I stopped sleeping and the people around me began to disappear. I knew I need community. 10 years later I am finally in a place where I am trying to build the community that I so desperately needed when Christopher first died. We can’t change that our children died, but we can help each other through it. Join me in creating a community for grieving mothers to share our stories with each other creating a sacred space for authentic grieving.
It is my mission for the podcast to provide grieving mothers everywhere a safe, sacred space where their grief is accepted. It is through the podcast that the culture of silence that surrounds the grief of the mother will be dismantled, and a culture of support will be created. It is our vision to create a community where we can share our questions, and concerns, and support each other.
I am here and I am listening. I am honored to hear your story.
https://wordpress.com/view/grievinginsomniacs.wordpress.com
It is our hope that you will like and subscribe to get regular updates on our show.
If you have questions or concerns, send us a message at grievinginsomiacs@gmail.com or leave us a message at https://anchor.fm/grievinginsomniacs/message.
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In today's episode, we have Trudie, Hannah's mother, discussing her experience with losing a child. Trudie tells her story about how she became a grieving mother and the different ways she copes with her grief. It has always been the goal of Grieving Insomniacs to normalize the conversations surrounding the death of our children. This was an opportunity to begin that conversation between two women with similar but different experiences and how a connection with another person can help with the grieving process.
Biography:
I was living the average life. I was married with two children working in a profession that I loved. On June 19. 2011 that life was destroyed and I became another person. My oldest son died unexpectedly. My son did not die from cancer. Chemotherapy killed him. It is a common experience, but I didn’t know that then. I thought that chemotherapy was going to save him. Almost immediately I felt betrayed by my profession because I was a counselor. I should have known how to handle his death. The loneliness started almost immediately. I felt so alone. I stopped sleeping and the people around me began to disappear. I knew I need community. 10 years later I am finally in a place where I am trying to build the community that I so desperately needed when Christopher first died. We can’t change that our children died, but we can help each other through it. Join me in creating a community for grieving mothers to share our stories with each other creating a sacred space for authentic grieving.
It is my mission for the podcast to provide grieving mothers everywhere a safe, sacred space where their grief is accepted. Through the podcast, the culture of silence surrounding the mother's grief will be dismantled, and a culture of support will be created. It is our vision to create a community where we can share our questions, and concerns, and support each other.
I am here and I am listening. I am honored to hear your story.
https://wordpress.com/view/grievinginsomniacs.wordpress.com
It is our hope that you will like and subscribe to get regular updates on our show.
If you have questions or concerns, send us a message at grievinginsomiacs@gmail.com or leave us a message at https://anchor.fm/grievinginsomniacs/message.
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It's 2023. Everywhere there are posts about new year's resolutions. As I read these posts, memes, and blog posts I began to think about what it means to start a new year for a person, who is grieving. A new year without our loved ones is not a positive thing. We want to hang on to the previous year. We can't possibly imagine another year without them. But time like everything else marches on with or without us. A new year for me means another six months of grief triggers. Another year of making memories without my son. A new year of worries about who will not make it to 2024. Listen in as we discuss how to survive the new year by listening to your heart and intuition.
Biography:
I was living the average life. I was married with two children working in a profession that I loved. On June 19. 2011 that life was destroyed and I became another person. My oldest son died unexpectedly. My son did not die from cancer. Chemotherapy killed him. It is a common experience, but I didn’t know that then. I thought that chemotherapy was going to save him. Almost immediately I felt betrayed by my profession because I was a counselor. I should have known how to handle his death. The loneliness started almost immediately. I felt so alone. I stopped sleeping and the people around me began to disappear. I knew I need community. 10 years later I am finally in a place where I am trying to build the community that I so desperately needed when Christopher first died. We can’t change that our children died, but we can help each other through it. Join me in creating a community for grieving mothers to share our stories with each other creating a sacred space for authentic grieving.
It is my mission for the podcast to provide grieving mothers everywhere a safe, sacred space where their grief is accepted. Through the podcast, the culture of silence surrounding the mother's grief will be dismantled, and a culture of support will be created. It is our vision to create a community where we can share our questions, and concerns, and support each other.
I am here and I am listening. I am honored to hear your story.
https://wordpress.com/view/grievinginsomniacs.wordpress.com
It is our hope that you will like and subscribe to get regular updates on our show.
If you have questions or concerns, send us a message at grievinginsomiacs@gmail.com or leave us a message at https://anchor.fm/grievinginsomniacs/message.
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In this episode, I talk about the quote " hold on to the love, not the loss". This quote is attributed to Eva Longoria. It came from a podcast where Eva Longoria talked about her divorce. This quote is posted often on different social media platforms and is applied to grief. I believe it is misapplied because going through a divorce and the death of a child or loved one is significantly different. During the episode, I discuss how to use discernment when reading grief quotes and grief information.
- Discernment is evaluating the information presented
- by researching the author,
- recognizing that it is an opinion,
- evaluating your reaction
- cope with the feelings it evokes
- don't like it scroll past it
Biography
I was living the average life. I was married with two children working in a profession that I loved. On June 19. 2011 that life was destroyed and I became another person. My oldest son died unexpectedly. My son did not die from cancer. Chemotherapy killed him. It is a common experience, but I didn’t know that then. I thought that chemotherapy was going to save him. Almost immediately I felt betrayed by my profession because I was a counselor. I should have known how to handle his death. The loneliness started almost immediately. I felt so alone. I stopped sleeping and the people around me began to disappear. I knew I need community. 10 years later I am finally in a place where I am trying to build the community that I so desperately needed when Christopher first died. We can’t change that our children died, but we can help each other through it. Join me in creating a community for grieving mothers to share our stories with each other creating a sacred space for authentic grieving.
It is my mission for the podcast to provide grieving mothers everywhere a safe, sacred space where their grief is accepted. It is through the podcast that the culture of silence that surrounds the grief of the mother will be dismantled, and a culture of support will be created. It is our vision to create a community where we can share our questions, and concerns, and support each other.
I am here and I am listening. I am honored to hear your story.
https://wordpress.com/view/grievinginsomniacs.wordpress.com
It is our hope that you will like and subscribe to get regular updates on our show.
If you have questions or concerns, send us a message at grievinginsomiacs@gmail.com or leave us a message at https://anchor.fm/grievinginsomniacs/message.
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This week on Grieving Insomniacs we discuss how the body remembers our grief even when we don't want to.
The connection between the mind, heart, and gut affects how we experience our grief and how we cope with our grief. Much of the information in this episode comes from the book The Body Keeps Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk M.D.
According to Dr. Van Der Kolk our mind, gut, and heart are connected via the pneumogastric nerve. The pneumogastric nerve is involved in the expression and management of emotions in humans and animals. This means our emotions are felt viscerally and people will do anything to escape these visceral feelings."
Grief is visceral meaning that it involves body expression along with cognitive expression of emotion. Listen as we discuss how the body remembers our grief.
Biography:
I was living the average life. I was married with two children working in a profession that I loved. On June 19. 2011 that life was destroyed and I became another person. My oldest son died unexpectedly. My son did not die from cancer. Chemotherapy killed him. It is a common experience, but I didn’t know that then. I thought that chemotherapy was going to save him. Almost immediately I felt betrayed by my profession because I was a counselor. I should have known how to handle his death. The loneliness started almost immediately. I felt so alone. I stopped sleeping and the people around me began to disappear. I knew I need community. 10 years later I am finally in a place where I am trying to build the community that I so desperately needed when Christopher first died. We can’t change that our children died, but we can help each other through it. Join me in creating a community for grieving mothers to share our stories with each other creating a sacred space for authentic grieving.
It is my mission for the podcast to provide grieving mothers everywhere a safe, sacred space where their grief is accepted. It is through the podcast that the culture of silence that surrounds the grief of the mother will be dismantled, and a culture of support will be created. It is our vision to create a community where we can share our questions, and concerns, and support each other.
I am here and I am listening. I am honored to hear your story.
https://wordpress.com/view/grievinginsomniacs.wordpress.com
It is our hope that you will like and subscribe to get regular updates on our show.
If you have questions or concerns, send us a message at grievinginsomiacs@gmail.com or leave us a message at https://anchor.fm/grievinginsomniacs/message.
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Losing a child is traumatic and the triggers from this trauma last a lifetime. Today, I discuss a significant trigger from my own grief experience that took me down the rabbit hole of grief last week. Not only did I get triggered but all the shame, guilt, and regret I had from Christopher's death was reexperienced all over again.
Getting stuck in grief is a common problem that many people experience when they are grieving. My secret shame was a place where I got stuck for many years. Listen in as I discuss what my secret shame was when Christopher died and why I am coming clean now.
Biography
I was living the average life. I was married with two children working in a profession that I loved. On June 19. 2011 that life was destroyed and I became another person. My oldest son died unexpectedly. My son did not die from cancer. Chemotherapy killed him. It is a common experience, but I didn’t know that then. I thought that chemotherapy was going to save him. Almost immediately I felt betrayed by my profession because I was a counselor. I should have known how to handle his death. The loneliness started almost immediately. I felt so alone. I stopped sleeping and the people around me began to disappear. I knew I need community. 10 years later I am finally in a place where I am trying to build the community that I so desperately needed when Christopher first died. We can’t change that our children died, but we can help each other through it. Join me in creating a community for grieving mothers to share our stories with each other creating a sacred space for authentic grieving.
It is my mission for the podcast to provide grieving mothers everywhere a safe, sacred space where their grief is accepted. It is through the podcast that the culture of silence that surrounds the grief of the mother will be dismantled, and a culture of support will be created. It is our vision to create a community where we can share our questions, and concerns, and support each other.
I am here and I am listening. I am honored to hear your story.
https://wordpress.com/view/grievinginsomniacs.wordpress.com
It is our hope that you will like and subscribe to get regular updates on our show.
If you have questions or concerns, send us a message at grievinginsomiacs@gmail.com or leave us a message at https://anchor.fm/grievinginsomniacs/message.
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Once you experience a traumatic loss such as the loss of a child, Christmas is never the same again. Part of our mourning process is mourning the traditions and experiences that won't be possible anymore without our beloved children. In today's episode, I discuss the current difficulties I am having with the Christmas Blues and ways that I try to cope with this difficult time of year. Listen in on your favorite podcast platform. We are available on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, and Spotify. Please like and subscribe for current notifications of new episodes.
Biography:
I was living the average life. I was married with two children working in a profession that I loved. On June 19. 2011 that life was destroyed and I became another person. My oldest son died unexpectedly. My son did not die from cancer. Chemotherapy killed him. It is a common experience, but I didn’t know that then. I thought that chemotherapy was going to save him. Almost immediately I felt betrayed by my profession because I was a counselor. I should have known how to handle his death. The loneliness started almost immediately. I felt so alone. I stopped sleeping and the people around me began to disappear. I knew I need community. 10 years later I am finally in a place where I am trying to build the community that I so desperately needed when Christopher first died. We can’t change that our children died, but we can help each other through it. Join me in creating a community for grieving mothers to share our stories with each other creating a sacred space for authentic grieving.
It is my mission for the podcast to provide grieving mothers everywhere a safe, sacred space where their grief is accepted. It is through the podcast that the culture of silence that surrounds the grief of the mother will be dismantled, and a culture of support will be created. It is our vision to create a community where we can share our questions, and concerns, and support each other.
I am here and I am listening. I am honored to hear your story.
I also have a book available on Amazon called the Solitary Journey through the Loss of a Child. It can be purchased here.
https://www.amazon.com/Solitary-Journey-through-loss-child/dp/151932071X/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1539387829&sr=1-1&keywords=the+solitary+journey+through+the+loss+of+a+child
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Many of my podcast ideas come from my own experiences during the week. This week I spent a significant amount of time thinking about privilege. Privilege is when one group has an advantage over another group. Privilege is not having to worry about health issues because you have always been healthy. Privilege is never having experienced going hungry, being homeless, or not being cared for. Privilege is having your children still alive and walking the face of the earth. How would our cultural conversations surrounding grief change if we talked about the privilege of having your children be present for Thanksgiving and Christmas? Would parents complain less about cooking for Thanksgiving for their adult children or buying them Christmas presents? Would non-grieving people understand us, grievers, better if we discussed our losses in terms of privilege? When my son died I lost my health, my family, and my sense of identity all in one moment of time. People who have not lost these things are privileged. On the flip side of privilege is gratefulness. I am more grateful for what I do have because I lost so much. I would do it all over again even if I lost him again.
The Grieving Insomaniacs Podcast is available on Anchor, Google Podcasts, and Spotify.
Biography: I was living the average life. I was married with two children working in a profession that I loved. On June 19. 2011 that life was destroyed and I became another person. My oldest son died unexpectedly. My son did not die from cancer. Chemotherapy killed him. It is a common experience, but I didn’t know that then. I thought that chemotherapy was going to save him. Almost immediately I felt betrayed by my profession because I was a counselor. I should have known how to handle his death. The loneliness started almost immediately. I felt so alone. I stopped sleeping and the people around me began to disappear. I knew I need community. 10 years later I am finally in a place where I am trying to build the community that I so desperately needed when Christopher first died. We can’t change that our children died, but we can help each other through it. Join me in creating a community for grieving mothers to share our stories with each other creating a sacred space for authentic grieving.
It is my mission for the podcast to provide grieving mothers everywhere a safe, sacred space where their grief is accepted. It is through the podcast that the culture of silence that surrounds the grief of the mother will be dismantled, and a culture of support will be created. It is our vision to create a community where we can share our questions, and concerns, and support each other.
I am here and I am listening. I am honored to hear your story.
https://wordpress.com/view/grievinginsomniacs.wordpress.com
It is our hope that you will like and subscribe to get regular updates on our show.
If you have questions or concerns, send us a message at grievinginsomiacs@gmail.com or leave us a message at https://anchor.fm/grievinginsomniacs/message
--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/grievinginsomniacs/messageSupport this podcast: https://anchor.fm/grievinginsomniacs/support
The holidays are always tough for grievers. We spend much of the day wearing a mask around people, then when we are alone feeling the loss of our loved ones acutely. Thanksgiving begins the holiday season. The holidays were never pleasant when I was growing up and grief has not helped that situation any. I have found unique ways to cope with my grief. One of them is believing that my son communicates with me through signs. In this episode, I talk about the concept of Recovering from Grief and what that means to me as a grieving mother. When you say I need to recover from my grief. I hear you say that I need to stop missing my son or feeling sad that he is not here. I can't imagine doing that. What is helpful to me is developing a deep connection to him through spirituality. My spirituality is not religious. It is the belief that I can not still have a meaningful relationship with my son even in death. In many ways, this connection to my son has enhanced my connection to myself and helped me see the gifts of grief. I will always be sad. I will always miss my son. I don't believe that is something I need to recover from or heal.
Biography: I was living the average life. I was married with two children working in a profession that I loved. On June 19. 2011 that life was destroyed and I became another person. My oldest son died unexpectedly. My son did not die from cancer. Chemotherapy killed him. It is a common experience, but I didn’t know that then. I thought that chemotherapy was going to save him. Almost immediately I felt betrayed by my profession because I was a counselor. I should have known how to handle his death. The loneliness started almost immediately. I felt so alone. I stopped sleeping and the people around me began to disappear. I knew I need community. 10 years later I am finally in a place where I am trying to build the community that I so desperately needed when Christopher first died. We can’t change that our children died, but we can help each other through it. Join me in creating a community for grieving mothers to share our stories with each other creating a sacred space for authentic grieving.
It is my mission for the podcast to provide grieving mothers everywhere a safe, sacred space where their grief is accepted. It is through the podcast that the culture of silence that surrounds the grief of the mother will be dismantled, and a culture of support will be created. It is our vision to create a community where we can share our questions, and concerns, and support each other.
I am here and I am listening. I am honored to hear your story.
https://wordpress.com/view/grievinginsomniacs.wordpress.com
It is our hope that you will like and subscribe to get regular updates on our show.
If you have questions or concerns, send us a message at grievinginsomiacs@gmail.com or leave us a message at https://anchor.fm/grievinginsomniacs/message.
Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/grievinginsomniacs/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/grievinginsomniacs/support
Signs from Christopher are an important part of coping with my grief about his death. I have seen and spoken with different people who say they do not have signs from their deceased loved one. When I hear someone say that I feel sad for them. There are three things that I believe get in the way of people receiving signs from a loved one. In the beginning, your grief is internalized within yourself. Your focus is on trying to cope with the pain of losing the loved one. During this time it is hard to pay attention to the environment around you because of this. Secondly, you have to believe that it is possible that you can get signs from your loved one. Several things interfere with this belief system. One is the fear that you might be considered crazy if you believe you can communicate with someone who is deceased. The second one is that several religious belief systems say that communicating with someone who is deceased is wrong. Lastly, you must have faith that it is possible to talk to them. Faith comes first. Many people look for absolute proof then they will believe. It is actually the other way around. You must believe you can first, pick the sign and then look for it.
Be careful about what you ask for though, because you might get it. Then, you are saying Goodbye again.
Biography: I was living the average life. I was married with two children working in a profession that I loved. On June 19. 2011 that life was destroyed and I became another person. My oldest son died unexpectedly. My son did not die from cancer. Chemotherapy killed him. It is a common experience, but I didn’t know that then. I thought that chemotherapy was going to save him. Almost immediately I felt betrayed by my profession because I was a counselor. I should have known how to handle his death. The loneliness started almost immediately. I felt so alone. I stopped sleeping and the people around me began to disappear. I knew I need community. 10 years later I am finally in a place where I am trying to build the community that I so desperately needed when Christopher first died. We can’t change that our children died, but we can help each other through it. Join me in creating a community for grieving mothers to share our stories with each other creating a sacred space for authentic grieving.
It is my mission for the podcast to provide grieving mothers everywhere a safe, sacred space where their grief is accepted. It is through the podcast that the culture of silence that surrounds the grief of the mother will be dismantled, and a culture of support will be created. It is our vision to create a community where we can share our questions, and concerns, and support each other.
I am here and I am listening. I am honored to hear your story.
https://wordpress.com/view/grievinginsomniacs.wordpress.com
It is our hope that you will like and subscribe to get regular updates on our show.
If you have questions or concerns, send us a message at grievinginsomiacs@gmail.com or leave us a message at https://anchor.fm/grievinginsomniacs/message.
Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/grievinginsomniacs/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/grievinginsomniacs/support
It has taken 11 years to be able to talk about the first Thanksgiving after my son died without crying. Every year around the first of November the anxiety and stress surrounding whether I will be alone for the holiday. For some reason, Thanksgiving is the worst holiday for me and my grief. Thanksgiving was my first real experience with the abandonment of family while I was grieving. I thought I was the only one until I started attending support groups for mothers that have lost children. I really didn't want to talk about this, but I feel compelled to. I have found throughout this grief journey that I am not the only one that is having these experiences. The telling of these stories is both painful but so healing. I want to encourage anyone listening that if you want to tell your story. I am listening. I can be that ear for you that so many of us don't have. Listen in, and reach out if you need.
Biography:
I was living the average life. I was married with two children working in a profession that I loved. On June 19. 2011 that life was destroyed and I became another person. My oldest son died unexpectedly. My son did not die from cancer. Chemotherapy killed him. It is a common experience, but I didn’t know that then. I thought that chemotherapy was going to save him. Almost immediately I felt betrayed by my profession because I was a counselor. I should have known how to handle his death. The loneliness started almost immediately. I felt so alone. I stopped sleeping and the people around me began to disappear. I knew I need community. 10 years later I am finally in a place where I am trying to build the community that I so desperately needed when Christopher first died. We can’t change that our children died, but we can help each other through it. Join me in creating a community for grieving mothers to share our stories with each other creating a sacred space for authentic grieving.
It is my mission for the podcast to provide grieving mothers everywhere a safe, sacred space where their grief is accepted. It is through the podcast that the culture of silence that surrounds the grief of the mother will be dismantled, and a culture of support will be created. It is our vision to create a community where we can share our questions, and concerns, and support each other.
I am here and I am listening. I am honored to hear your story.
https://wordpress.com/view/grievinginsomniacs.wordpress.com
It is our hope that you will like and subscribe to get regular updates on our show.
The Grieving Insomaniacs Podcast is available on Anchor, Google Podcasts, and Spotify.
If you have questions or concerns, send us a message at grievinginsomiacs@gmail.com or leave us a message at https://anchor.fm/grievinginsomniacs/message.
Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/grievinginsomniacs/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/grievinginsomniacs/support
A listener reached out and told me the following story. Her mother-in-law died two years ago. The mother-in-law's sister reached out on her sister's birthday to complain about how the life insurance policy was divided between the children. This conflict with her mother-in-law's sister devastated her. She was upset because it had been two years. How come it came to a head now? Listen in as we discuss how come this might have happened.
Biography: I was living the average life. I was married with two children working in a profession that I loved. On June 19. 2011 that life was destroyed and I became another person. My oldest son died unexpectedly. My son did not die from cancer. Chemotherapy killed him. It is a common experience, but I didn’t know that then. I thought that chemotherapy was going to save him. Almost immediately I felt betrayed by my profession because I was a counselor. I should have known how to handle his death. The loneliness started almost immediately. I felt so alone. I stopped sleeping and the people around me began to disappear. I knew I need community. 10 years later I am finally in a place where I am trying to build the community that I so desperately needed when Christopher first died. We can’t change that our children died, but we can help each other through it. Join me in creating a community for grieving mothers to share our stories with each other creating a sacred space for authentic grieving.
It is my mission for the podcast to provide grieving mothers everywhere a safe, sacred space where their grief is accepted. It is through the podcast that the culture of silence that surrounds the grief of the mother will be dismantled, and a culture of support will be created. It is our vision to create a community where we can share our questions, and concerns, and support each other.
I am here and I am listening. I am honored to hear your story.
https://wordpress.com/view/grievinginsomniacs.wordpress.com
It is our hope that you will like and subscribe to get regular updates on our show.
If you have questions or concerns, send us a message at grievinginsomiacs@gmail.com or at https://anchor.fm/grievinginsomniacs/message.
Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/grievinginsomniacs/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/grievinginsomniacs/support
Today starts the grieving holiday season when you have lost a child. Whether it is an adult child or a younger child, the memories will burn your throat and cause waves of grief. Today's episode is a short Happy Halloween because as per usual when my grief is activated I don't feel well. Most importantly take care of yourself tomorrow.
The Grieving Insomaniacs Podcast is available on Anchor, Google Podcasts, Apple Podcast, and Spotify.
Bio:
I was living the average life. I was married with two children working in a profession that I loved. On June 19. 2011 that life was destroyed and I became another person. My oldest son died unexpectedly. My son did not die from cancer. Chemotherapy killed him. It is a common experience, but I didn’t know that then. I thought that chemotherapy was going to save him. Almost immediately I felt betrayed by my profession because I was a counselor. I should have known how to handle his death. The loneliness started almost immediately. I felt so alone. I stopped sleeping and the people around me began to disappear. I knew I need community. 10 years later I am finally in a place where I am trying to build the community that I so desperately needed when Christopher first died. We can’t change that our children died, but we can help each other through it. Join me in creating a community for grieving mothers to share our stories with each other creating a sacred space for authentic grieving.
It is my mission for the podcast to provide grieving mothers everywhere a safe, sacred space where their grief is accepted. It is through the podcast that the culture of silence that surrounds the grief of the mother will be dismantled, and a culture of support will be created. It is our vision to create a community where we can share our questions, and concerns, and support each other.
I am here and I am listening. I am honored to hear your story.
https://wordpress.com/view/grievinginsomniacs.wordpress.com
It is our hope that you will like and subscribe to get regular updates on our show.
If you have questions or concerns, send us a message at grievinginsomiacs@gmail.com or leave us a message at https://anchor.fm/grievinginsomniacs/message.
Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/grievinginsomniacs/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/grievinginsomniacs/support
Anxiety after the loss of a child is significantly different from other types of anxiety. Many people including myself report an increase in fear or anxiety related to losing another living child. This anxiety can present in racing thoughts when separated from the living child. This anxiety can present in physical symptoms such as a racing heart, heart palpitations, and nightmares. Listen in as we discuss the DMV criteria for an anxiety disorder, and how anxiety after child loss doesn't quite meet the criteria for an anxiety disorder.
Bio:
I was living the average life. I was married with two children working in a profession that I loved. On June 19. 2011 that life was destroyed and I became another person. My oldest son died unexpectedly. My son did not die from cancer. Chemotherapy killed him. It is a common experience, but I didn’t know that then. I thought that chemotherapy was going to save him. Almost immediately I felt betrayed by my profession because I was a counselor. I should have known how to handle his death. The loneliness started almost immediately. I felt so alone. I stopped sleeping and the people around me began to disappear. I knew I need community. 10 years later I am finally in a place where I am trying to build the community that I so desperately needed when Christopher first died. We can’t change that our children died, but we can help each other through it. Join me in creating a community for grieving mothers to share our stories with each other creating a sacred space for authentic grieving.
It is my mission for the podcast to provide grieving mothers everywhere a safe, sacred space where their grief is accepted. It is through the podcast that the culture of silence that surrounds the grief of the mother will be dismantled, and a culture of support will be created. It is our vision to create a community where we can share our questions, and concerns, and support each other.
I am here and I am listening. I am honored to hear your story.
https://wordpress.com/view/grievinginsomniacs.wordpress.com
It is our hope that you will like and subscribe to get regular updates on our show.
If you have questions or concerns, send us a message at grievinginsomiacs@gmail.com or leave us a message at https://anchor.fm/grievinginsomniacs/message.
Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/grievinginsomniacs/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/grievinginsomniacs/support
In today's episode, I discuss how grief destroyed my relationship with my extended family. Before my son died I would have told you I had a close-knit family. That we were really close and my cousins were like sisters. When my son died my family disappeared from my life increasing the isolation I felt. I have asked myself over and over again over the years if I was the reason why they never called or texted me. Was my grief too much for them? Or was it them? Were they always cold and unfeeling toward me? As time goes on I have come to accept that it was both. They couldn't handle the grief and they are cold and unfeeling. If you are feeling alone and isolated in grief, please don't think it is because your grief is too much. Listen to my podcast so you don't feel so alone.
Bio:
I was living the average life. I was married with two children working in a profession that I loved. On June 19. 2011 that life was destroyed and I became another person. My oldest son died unexpectedly. My son did not die from cancer. Chemotherapy killed him. It is a common experience, but I didn’t know that then. I thought that chemotherapy was going to save him. Almost immediately I felt betrayed by my profession because I was a counselor. I should have known how to handle his death. The loneliness started almost immediately. I felt so alone. I stopped sleeping and the people around me began to disappear. I knew I need community. 10 years later I am finally in a place where I am trying to build the community that I so desperately needed when Christopher first died. We can’t change that our children died, but we can help each other through it. Join me in creating a community for grieving mothers to share our stories with each other creating a sacred space for authentic grieving.
It is my mission for the podcast to provide grieving mothers everywhere a safe, sacred space where their grief is accepted. It is through the podcast that the culture of silence that surrounds the grief of the mother will be dismantled, and a culture of support will be created. It is our vision to create a community where we can share our questions, and concerns, and support each other.
I am here and I am listening. I am honored to hear your story.
https://wordpress.com/view/grievinginsomniacs.wordpress.com
It is our hope that you will like and subscribe to get regular updates on our show.
If you have questions or concerns, send us a message at grievinginsomiacs@gmail.com or leave us a message at https://anchor.fm/grievinginsomniacs/message.
Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/grievinginsomniacs/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/grievinginsomniacs/support
In today's episode, I talk about how conversations about death directly impact our ability to grieve. Over the last few months, I have learned that being able to talk about death is imperative if you want to help someone with their grief. Many professionals avoid talking about death, therefore, they avoid talking about grief. This leaves many grievers including myself alone in their mourning. Mourning needs companionship from people who have experienced what they experienced. How comfortable are you talking about death after the loss of your child?
Bio:
I was living the average life. I was married with two children working in a profession that I loved. On June 19. 2011 that life was destroyed and I became another person. My oldest son died unexpectedly. My son did not die from cancer. Chemotherapy killed him. It is a common experience, but I didn’t know that then. I thought that chemotherapy was going to save him. Almost immediately I felt betrayed by my profession because I was a counselor. I should have known how to handle his death. The loneliness started almost immediately. I felt so alone. I stopped sleeping and the people around me began to disappear. I knew I need community. 10 years later I am finally in a place where I am trying to build the community that I so desperately needed when Christopher first died. We can’t change that our children died, but we can help each other through it. Join me in creating a community for grieving mothers to share our stories with each other creating a sacred space for authentic grieving.
It is my mission for the podcast to provide grieving mothers everywhere a safe, sacred space where their grief is accepted. It is through the podcast that the culture of silence that surrounds the grief of the mother will be dismantled, and a culture of support will be created. It is our vision to create a community where we can share our questions, and concerns, and support each other.
I am here and I am listening. I am honored to hear your story.
https://wordpress.com/view/grievinginsomniacs.wordpress.com
It is our hope that you will like and subscribe to get regular updates on our show.
If you have questions or concerns, send us a message at grievinginsomiacs@gmail.com or leave us a message at https://anchor.fm/grievinginsomniacs/message.
Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/grievinginsomniacs/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/grievinginsomniacs/support
Today we discuss the importance of changing the cultural conversation surrounding the loss of a child. Once again I had the not unique experience of telling another person that I had lost a child. All conversation stopped. I am used to this response but why should I be used to it? As a community, we can change our society by telling our stories about our grief. Listen in as I discuss how to do this. If you would like to come on my podcast and share your story reach out to my Instagram, Facebook, or Grieving Insomniacs@gmail.com
Bio:
I was living the average life. I was married with two children working in a profession that I loved. On June 19. 2011 that life was destroyed and I became another person. My oldest son died unexpectedly. My son did not die from cancer. Chemotherapy killed him. It is a common experience, but I didn’t know that then. I thought that chemotherapy was going to save him. Almost immediately I felt betrayed by my profession because I was a counselor. I should have known how to handle his death. The loneliness started almost immediately. I felt so alone. I stopped sleeping and the people around me began to disappear. I knew I need community. 10 years later I am finally in a place where I am trying to build the community that I so desperately needed when Christopher first died. We can’t change that our children died, but we can help each other through it. Join me in creating a community for grieving mothers to share our stories with each other creating a sacred space for authentic grieving.
It is my mission for the podcast to provide grieving mothers everywhere a safe, sacred space where their grief is accepted. It is through the podcast that the culture of silence that surrounds the grief of the mother will be dismantled, and a culture of support will be created. It is our vision to create a community where we can share our questions, and concerns, and support each other.
I am here and I am listening. I am honored to hear your story.
https://wordpress.com/view/grievinginsomniacs.wordpress.com
It is our hope that you will like and subscribe to get regular updates on our show.
If you have questions or concerns, send us a message at grievinginsomiacs@gmail.com or leave us a message at https://anchor.fm/grievinginsomniacs/message.
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Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/grievinginsomniacs/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/grievinginsomniacs/support
On today's episode of Grieving Insomanics a podcast about grief, I discuss happiness. Is it possible for someone to be happy after the loss of a child? What happens when a grieving mother does not feel that they are allowed to be happy because their child died? Our society expects perfection from mothers. Any mistake on the part of the mother and the mother is judged immediately and harshly. This is true in grief. Grieving mothers are told we grieve too much or we don't grieve enough. There is no balance. Many grieving mothers including myself feel as if we did something wrong and that is why our children died. I fight this belief system daily within myself. In this episode, I talk about how I am trying to move from the feeling of having to be sad all time to allowing myself to feel happy again.
Bio:
I was living the average life. I was married with two children working in a profession that I loved. On June 19. 2011 that life was destroyed and I became another person. My oldest son died unexpectedly. My son did not die from cancer. Chemotherapy killed him. It is a common experience, but I didn’t know that then. I thought that chemotherapy was going to save him. Almost immediately I felt betrayed by my profession because I was a counselor. I should have known how to handle his death. The loneliness started almost immediately. I felt so alone. I stopped sleeping and the people around me began to disappear. I knew I need community. 10 years later I am finally in a place where I am trying to build the community that I so desperately needed when Christopher first died. We can’t change that our children died, but we can help each other through it. Join me in creating a community for grieving mothers to share our stories with each other creating a sacred space for authentic grieving.
It is my mission for the podcast to provide grieving mothers everywhere a safe, sacred space where their grief is accepted. It is through the podcast that the culture of silence that surrounds the grief of the mother will be dismantled, and a culture of support will be created. It is our vision to create a community where we can share our questions, and concerns, and support each other.
I am here and I am listening. I am honored to hear your story.
https://wordpress.com/view/grievinginsomniacs.wordpress.com
It is our hope that you will like and subscribe to get regular updates on our show.
If you have questions or concerns, send us a message at grievinginsomiacs@gmail.com or leave us a message at https://anchor.fm/grievinginsomniacs/message.
Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/grievinginsomniacs/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/grievinginsomniacs/support
This week was an awful week. My family had a health-related emergency of one of our family members that took me down the spiral into my grief. Spinning out of control the fear and anxiety binds your throat and cripples the mind. I overshared at work about grief. I felt vulnerable and afraid of their judgment. I tried to call my dead son. I had that phone in my hand looking for the number before I realized he was dead. That was only day 1 of the awful week. I spiraled all day Thursday holding in my tears. By Friday, I was sick. I left early on Friday only to find another horrible event had happened. I cried for hours asking "Why me?" "Why do these bad things happen to me?". Isn't that the question every grieving parent asks?
The one thing I learned from this week was that grief has robbed me of my ability to cope with these hard bumps in the road. Listen in as I discuss it. Leave me a message and let me know. Do you cope better now or less after the death of your child?
Biography:
I was living the average life. I was married with two children working in a profession that I loved. On June 19. 2011 that life was destroyed and I became another person. My oldest son died unexpectedly. My son did not die from cancer. Chemotherapy killed him. It is a common experience, but I didn’t know that then. I thought that chemotherapy was going to save him. Almost immediately I felt betrayed by my profession because I was a counselor. I should have known how to handle his death. The loneliness started almost immediately. I felt so alone. I stopped sleeping and the people around me began to disappear. I knew I need community. 10 years later I am finally in a place where I am trying to build the community that I so desperately needed when Christopher first died. We can’t change that our children died, but we can help each other through it. Join me in creating a community for grieving mothers to share our stories with each other creating a sacred space for authentic grieving.
It is my mission for the podcast to provide grieving mothers everywhere a safe, sacred space where their grief is accepted. It is through the podcast that the culture of silence that surrounds the grief of the mother will be dismantled, and a culture of support will be created. It is our vision to create a community where we can share our questions, and concerns, and support each other.
I am here and I am listening. I am honored to hear your story.
https://wordpress.com/view/grievinginsomniacs.wordpress.com
It is our hope that you will like and subscribe to get regular updates on our show.
If you have questions or concerns, send us a message at grievinginsomiacs@gmail.com or leave us a message at https://anchor.fm/grievinginsomniacs/message.
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21 years ago the United States witnessed the fall of the twin towers in New York City. As a nation, we were grieving the loss of life that occurred during this event. For years afterward on 09/11 memorials were held for the families that lost loved ones. Tributes were created. This outpouring of grief changed the grief culture in America. Even in the 11 years since my son died, I have seen grief becoming more normalized. In 2011 I did not see the outpouring of grief on Facebook. It is only in recent years on Instagram have I seen where grieving has become acceptable. 09/11/2011 has personal significance to me for it was the first day of my first job as a counselor. Every year as I celebrate my career development and milestones I mourn the loss of innocence that occurred on 09/11. As I recorded the podcast today I discuss the changes I have seen in the grief culture over the last 11 years and the hopes I have for future changes. I made a mistake in the podcast today. It was 21 years ago that I graduated from Chapman University not 22 years ago.
Bio
I was living the average life. I was married with two children working in a profession that I loved. On June 19. 2011 that life was destroyed and I became another person. My oldest son died unexpectedly. My son did not die from cancer. Chemotherapy killed him. It is a common experience, but I didn’t know that then. I thought that chemotherapy was going to save him. Almost immediately I felt betrayed by my profession because I was a counselor. I should have known how to handle his death. The loneliness started almost immediately. I felt so alone. I stopped sleeping and the people around me began to disappear. I knew I need community. 10 years later I am finally in a place where I am trying to build the community that I so desperately needed when Christopher first died. We can’t change that our children died, but we can help each other through it. Join me in creating a community for grieving mothers to share our stories with each other creating a sacred space for authentic grieving.
It is my mission for the podcast to provide grieving mothers everywhere a safe, sacred space where their grief is accepted. It is through the podcast that the culture of silence that surrounds the grief of the mother will be dismantled, and a culture of support will be created. It is our vision to create a community where we can share our questions, and concerns, and support each other.
I am here and I am listening. I am honored to hear your story.
https://wordpress.com/view/grievinginsomniacs.wordpress.com
It is our hope that you will like and subscribe to get regular updates on our show.
If you have questions or concerns, send us a message at grievinginsomiacs@gmail.com or leave us a message at https://anchor.fm/grievinginsomniacs/message.
Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/grievinginsomniacs/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/grievinginsomniacs/support
Today's episode is about mourning who we once were before death robbed us of our children. When my son died I did not realize that parts of me would die that day too. They were parts of myself that I valued, and appreciated. Over the years I have been angry about it, frustrated about it, and have now moved into acceptance of losing myself. I recently realized that I need to mourn myself too. The me I once was is never coming back. The me I am now is valuable but not the same. I talk about the process of mourning myself and ways to do that while still honoring my sons memory.
Bio
I was living the average life. I was married with two children working in a profession that I loved. On June 19. 2011 that life was destroyed and I became another person. My oldest son died unexpectedly. My son did not die from cancer. Chemotherapy killed him. It is a common experience, but I didn’t know that then. I thought that chemotherapy was going to save him. Almost immediately I felt betrayed by my profession because I was a counselor. I should have known how to handle his death. The loneliness started almost immediately. I felt so alone. I stopped sleeping and the people around me began to disappear. I knew I need community. 10 years later I am finally in a place where I am trying to build the community that I so desperately needed when Christopher first died. We can’t change that our children died, but we can help each other through it. Join me in creating a community for grieving mothers to share our stories with each other creating a sacred space for authentic grieving.
It is my mission for the podcast to provide grieving mothers everywhere a safe, sacred space where their grief is accepted. It is through the podcast that the culture of silence that surrounds the grief of the mother will be dismantled, and a culture of support will be created. It is our vision to create a community where we can share our questions, and concerns, and support each other.
I am here and I am listening. I am honored to hear your story.
Leave me a message: https://anchor.fm/grievinginsomniacs/message
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Two weeks ago I was lucky enough to go to the Pacific Northwest. It was an amazing trip. I swear there was something magical in the air where I was at. Of course, I said that out loud to my peers. Often times I am not aware that some of the things that I say set me apart as being "different" until I say it. This was one of those times.
During this trip, I met some new friends. As we went through the get to know you phase of a new friendship, I experienced a feeling of extreme fear. For the first time since Christopher died, I was allowing myself to be "seen" as I truly was. I keep this facade up all of the time with everyone. It has evolved over time, but it is a place I feel safe. As I processed this experience of allowing myself to be seen, I began to realize how much Christopher's death has changed my relationships with myself and the rest of the world. Listen in as I discuss these changes in today's episode of Grieving Insomniacs.
Biography:
I was living the average life. I was married with two children working in a profession that I loved. On June 19. 2011 that life was destroyed and I became another person. My oldest son died unexpectedly. My son did not die from cancer. Chemotherapy killed him. It is a common experience, but I didn’t know that then. I thought that chemotherapy was going to save him. Almost immediately I felt betrayed by my profession because I was a counselor. I should have known how to handle his death. The loneliness started almost immediately. I felt so alone. I stopped sleeping and the people around me began to disappear. I knew I need community. 10 years later I am finally in a place where I am trying to build the community that I so desperately needed when Christopher first died. We can’t change that our children died, but we can help each other through it. Join me in creating a community for grieving mothers to share our stories with each other creating a sacred space for authentic grieving.
It is my mission for the podcast to provide grieving mothers everywhere a safe, sacred space where their grief is accepted. It is through the podcast that the culture of silence that surrounds the grief of the mother will be dismantled, and a culture of support will be created. It is our vision to create a community where we can share our questions, and concerns, and support each other.
I am here and I am listening. I am honored to hear your story.
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It is our hope that you will like and subscribe to get regular updates on our show.
If you have questions or concerns, send us a message at grievinginsomiacs@gmail.com or leave us a message at https://anchor.fm/grievinginsomniacs/message.
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Today's grief episode was inspired by a fellow grieving mom that is experiencing an angelversary. She requested that the podcast be about anniversaries in grief. As I thought about her request, I realized I had not talked about grief anniversaries. These dates are ones that have special meaning for the griever. These dates can be birthdays, the date of death, or the beginning of the illness that killed them. We all cope with anniversaries in different ways. Some of the tools we use to cope are self-care, communication, and ritual. Listen today on Spotify, Google Podcasts, or Apple Podcasts.
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I was living the average life. I was married with two children working in a profession that I loved. On June 19. 2011 that life was destroyed and I became another person. My oldest son died unexpectedly. My son did not die from cancer. Chemotherapy killed him. It is a common experience, but I didn’t know that then. I thought that chemotherapy was going to save him. Almost immediately I felt betrayed by my profession because I was a counselor. I should have known how to handle his death. The loneliness started almost immediately. I felt so alone. I stopped sleeping and the people around me began to disappear. I knew I need community. 10 years later I am finally in a place where I am trying to build the community that I so desperately needed when Christopher first died. We can’t change that our children died, but we can help each other through it. Join me in creating a community for grieving mothers to share our stories with each other creating a sacred space for authentic grieving.
It is my mission for the podcast to provide grieving mothers everywhere a safe, sacred space where their grief is accepted. It is through the podcast that the culture of silence that surrounds the grief of the mother will be dismantled, and a culture of support will be created. It is our vision to create a community where we can share our questions, and concerns, and support each other.
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Elisabeth Kubler-Ross is known throughout the grieving community as the founder of the five stages of grief. Did you know that she actually never intended for her research to be about grief? Her book on Death and Dying was written after conducting interviews with terminally ill patients while she was working at the University of Chicago. She discussed the stages of dying not the stages of grief. Her research has been misapplied to grief for over 4 decades. These stages of grief have now become a part of pop culture. Why does that matter to a grieving mother? Because these stages are how people understand our grief, and relate to our grief. This can cause significant problems in communicating about grief with grievers and non-grievers alike. Listen in as we discuss Elisabeth Kubler Ross's life and how this relates to being a grieving mother.
Biography:
I was living the average life. I was married with two children working in a profession that I loved. On June 19. 2011 that life was destroyed and I became another person. My oldest son died unexpectedly from the chemotherapy that was supposed to cure his cancer. It is a common experience, but I didn’t know that then. I thought that chemotherapy was going to save him. Almost immediately I felt betrayed by my profession because I was a counselor. I should have known how to handle his death. The loneliness started almost immediately. I felt so alone. I stopped sleeping and the people around me began to disappear. I knew I need community. 10 years later I am finally in a place where I am trying to build the community that I so desperately needed when Christopher first died. We can’t change that our children died, but we can help each other through it. Join me in creating a community for grieving mothers to share our stories with each other creating a sacred space for authentic grieving.
It is my mission for the podcast to provide grieving mothers everywhere a safe, sacred space where their grief is accepted. It is through the podcast that the culture of silence that surrounds the grief of the mother will be dismantled, and a culture of support will be created. It is our vision to create a community where we can share our questions, and concerns, and support each other.
I am here and I am listening. I am honored to hear your story.
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Today's episode was inspired by my husband, who asked me to talk about why families fight after the funeral over material items. This happened when my son died, and when my husband's parents died. I did some research on Google Scholar and found articles about how our clothing defines who we are. Often times identification with different groups and different decades can be done purely by looking at what someone is wearing. The same can be said about the type of house someone lives in, the type of car they drive, and the neighborhoods people live in. Here in South Dakota, we have plugs attached to our car batteries for wintertime. California doesn't need them. I found an article on Google Scholar that sums up why clothing is important to grieving people. I discuss this article in the context of my own grief experiences and how keeping my son's things was a way to still stay attached to him.
I was living the average life. I was married with two children working in a profession that I loved. On June 19. 2011 that life was destroyed and I became another person. My oldest son died unexpectedly. My son did not die from cancer. Chemotherapy killed him. It is a common experience, but I didn’t know that then. I thought that chemotherapy was going to save him. Almost immediately I felt betrayed by my profession because I was a counselor. I should have known how to handle his death. The loneliness started almost immediately. I felt so alone. I stopped sleeping and the people around me began to disappear. I knew I need community. 10 years later I am finally in a place where I am trying to build the community that I so desperately needed when Christopher first died. We can’t change that our children died, but we can help each other through it. Join me in creating a community for grieving mothers to share our stories with each other creating a sacred space for authentic grieving.
It is my mission for the podcast to provide grieving mothers everywhere a safe, sacred space where their grief is accepted. It is through the podcast that the culture of silence that surrounds the grief of the mother will be dismantled, and a culture of support will be created. It is our vision to create a community where we can share our questions, and concerns, and support each other.
I am here and I am listening. I am honored to hear your story.
grievingmom #grieving #grievingpodcast #griefawareness #grievingmother #podcastforwomen #podcastersofinstagram #grievinginsomniacs
Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/grievinginsomniacs/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/grievinginsomniacs/support
Grieving Insomanics is a podcast about grief. Today we are discussing the medical profession and how they get it wrong about grief. During a medical visit, I was told that I needed to "put my grief down for a little bit" The assumption being that I would feel better not working with grieving parents, or recording my podcasts. I literally laughed in her face. She clearly does not understand grief or the loss of a child. Today, I talk about the unrealistic expectations of non-grievers when it comes to grief. Listen in as I discuss why it is not possible to put "my grief down for a little bit."
I was living an average life until June 10. 2011. I was married with two children working in a profession that I loved. On June 19. 2011 that life was destroyed and I became another person. My oldest son died unexpectedly from the treatment of cancer. Chemotherapy killed him. I thought that chemotherapy was going to save him. Almost immediately I felt betrayed by my profession because I was a counselor. I should have known how to handle his death. The loneliness started almost immediately. I felt so alone. I stopped sleeping and the people around me began to disappear. I knew I need community. 10 years later I am finally in a place where I am trying to build the community that I so desperately needed when Christopher first died. We can’t change that our children died, but we can help each other through it. Join me in creating a community for grieving mothers to share our stories with each other creating a sacred space for authentic grieving.
It is my mission for the podcast to provide grieving mothers everywhere a safe, sacred space where their grief is accepted. It is through the podcast that the culture of silence that surrounds the grief of the mother will be dismantled, and a culture of support will be created. It is our vision to create a community where we can share our questions, and concerns, and support each other.
I am here and I am listening. I am honored to hear your story.
Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/grievinginsomniacs/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/grievinginsomniacs/support
Grieving Insomanics a podcast about grief. Join us today as we discuss mediumship. Mediums or psychic mediums as they might be called have the ability to communicate with deceased individuals. If you are considering hiring one in an attempt to communicate with your deceased child, there is some information you need to know. You must practice discernment and be open to the information provided. You can not go to a psychic medium and have expectations about what you want to hear. Want to learn more? Listen to today's episode.
I was living the average life. I was married with two children working in a profession that I loved. On June 19. 2011 that life was destroyed and I became another person. My oldest son died unexpectedly. My son did not die from cancer. Chemotherapy killed him. It is a common experience, but I didn’t know that then. I thought that chemotherapy was going to save him. Almost immediately I felt betrayed by my profession because I was a counselor. I should have known how to handle his death. The loneliness started almost immediately. I felt so alone. I stopped sleeping and the people around me began to disappear. I knew I need community. 10 years later I am finally in a place where I am trying to build the community that I so desperately needed when Christopher first died. We can’t change that our children died, but we can help each other through it. Join me in creating a community for grieving mothers to share our stories with each other creating a sacred space for authentic grieving.
It is my mission for the podcast to provide grieving mothers everywhere a safe, sacred space where their grief is accepted. It is through the podcast that the culture of silence that surrounds the grief of the mother will be dismantled, and a culture of support will be created. It is our vision to create a community where we can share our questions, and concerns, and support each other.
I am here and I am listening. I am honored to hear your story. #grievingmom #grieving #grievingpodcast #griefawareness #grievingmother #podcastforwomen #podcastersofinstagram #grievinginsomniacs
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Nothing makes you question your faith more than the loss of a child. The spiritual crisis that accompanies the death of a child takes many different forms for different people. Some people can turn towards their faith and find support in the fellowship of their various religions. Others like Cristi do not find that support. It is during this darkest time that the burning question "why me?" can become overwhelming. Cristi describes her journey through this crisis of faith and how she came through to the other side with the absolute conviction that life after death is possible. Cristi believes that everyone regardless of faith has a spiritual crisis after the death of their child. For some people, they may move through it quickly for others it may take longer. It is essential that each individual do their own exploration into their own belief systems about faith, about life after death, and use these beliefs to help develop ways to continue the bonds of love with their deceased child.
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Today Cristi talks about healing from grief. What does it look like and how do you know you are healing. She offers two definitions of healing. Using these definitions she walks the listener through why there needs to be another word for healing when it comes to grief. Healing implies that somehow a person will be made whole after some intervention. Cristi maintains that the only way to become whole again after the loss of the child is to have the child returned to earth. This is not going to happen. Listen in as Cristi discusses the ways that can help move a person forward on the path of grieving.
I had some problems with recording today on my episode. I had to get creative in order to get this out. Also, that is my dog snoring in the background. She insists on being present for all my podcasts and counseling sessions. She is not a therapy dog per se, but she definitely thinks she is.
It is the mission of the podcast to provide grieving mothers everywhere a safe, sacred space where their grief is accepted. It is through the podcast that the culture of silence that surrounds the grief of the mother will be dismantled, and a culture of support will be created. It is our vision to create a community where we can share our questions, and concerns, and support each other.
I am here and I am listening. I am honored to hear your story.
Leave her a message. Please like and subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, and Spotify.
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Today's episode is about the lessons I learned from my dog dying last night. I learned that my grief is compartmentalized so well that I can experience two competing emotions at the same time. As the memories of my son's death flooded my mind I was trying to be present for my dog as he passed away. It is in these moments that I learn that grief will be my permanent companion for the rest of my life. It is always there and always present. It is the single most critical thing that non-grievers need to understand. Listen in as Cristi talks about these lessons learned.
It is the mission of the podcast to provide grieving mothers everywhere a safe, sacred space where their grief is accepted. It is through the podcast that the culture of silence that surrounds the grief of the mother will be dismantled, and a culture of support will be created. It is our vision to create a community where we can share our questions, and concerns, and support each other.
I am here and I am listening. I am honored to hear your story.
https://wordpress.com/view/grievinginsomniacs.wordpress.com
It is our hope that you will like and subscribe to get regular updates on our show.
If you have questions or concerns, send us a message at grievinginsomiacs@gmail.com or leave us a message at https://anchor.fm/grievinginsomniacs/message.
https://cristihabermann.com/
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In this episode, Cristi talks about mental health and grieving. She talks about how in many cases mental health professionals fail grieving mothers in helping them through the grief. She talks about being a mental health professional and experiencing grief. It is the duality of being a griever and mental health professional that gives Cristi a unique perspective of the intersection between grief and mental health. Listen in as she describes the mistakes that many mental health professionals make in trying to help grieving mothers in their grief.
It is the mission of the podcast to provide grieving mothers everywhere a safe, sacred space where their grief is accepted. It is through the podcast that the culture of silence that surrounds the grief of the mother will be dismantled, and a culture of support will be created. It is our vision to create a community where we can share our questions, and concerns, and support each other.
I am here and I am listening. I am honored to hear your story.
https://cristihabermann.com/
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Please like and subscribe.
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In this episode, Cristi discusses the loss of physical health that has occurred after the loss of her child. She discusses her experiences with physicians and their lack of understanding of the connection between the physical, emotional, and spiritual loss that occurs with the death of a child. Cristi believes that there is an energy exchange between the mother and child that exists from the time of conception. This energy exchange fuels "mother's intuition" and allows the mother to have an extra sense when caring for their child. When this energy connection is severed by the death of the child the resulting absence of the energy creates illness. Our genetics determines which illnesses we are susceptible to and the death of a child creates the environment with allows these illnesses to manifest. Listen in as Cristi discusses her theory on why after the death of a child many mothers begin to experience chronic illnesses. Ways to cope with illness are discussed and several book recommendations are made.
It is the mission of the podcast to provide grieving mothers everywhere a safe, sacred space where their grief is accepted. It is through the podcast that the culture of silence that surrounds the grief of the mother will be dismantled, and a culture of support will be created. It is our vision to create a community where we can share our questions, and concerns, and support each other.
#grieving #grievingmother #grievingprocess #grievingpodcast #grievingmom #grievinginsomniacs #grief #griefjourney #podcast #podcastersofinstagram #podcastforwomen #nomorehidinggrief #gettingrealaboutgrief
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Secondary losses are a seldom understood aspect of grief. These secondary losses often come as a surprise to both the person experiencing the loss and the people around them. Secondary losses in child loss can include the loss of family, the loss of friends, the loss of physical health, and the loss of mental health. Today, Cristi tells her story about her secondary losses. This is the first episode discussing the loss of family and friends. Cristi describes how she learned through journaling and self-introspection that the crumbling of her belief system after the death of her child led to her realizing that her friends and family did not change. She did. It was the loss of her child that changed how she viewed the world. Listen in and learn about the secondary loss in the loss of a child.
The Grieving Insomaniacs Podcast is available on Anchor, Google Podcasts, and Spotify.
Connecting, Caring, and Listening at Grieving Insomanics, a podcast about grief.
It is the mission of the podcast to provide grieving mothers everywhere a safe, sacred space where their grief is accepted. It is through the podcast that the culture of silence that surrounds the grief of the mother will be dismantled, and a culture of support will be created. It is our vision to create a community where we can share our questions, and concerns, and support each other.
I am here and I am listening. I am honored to hear your story.
https://wordpress.com/view/grievinginsomniacs.wordpress.com
It is our hope that you will like and subscribe to get regular updates on our show.
grieving #grievingmother #grievingprocess #grievingpodcast #grievingmom #grievinginsomniacs #grief #griefjourney #podcast #podcastersofinstagram #podcastforwomen #nomorehidinggrief #gettingrealaboutgrief
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Grief is not something that can be ignored. Grieving people need to talk about their loved ones. Grieving Insomiancs is a podcast that normalizes the experiences of grieving mothers and provides a platform for their stories to be told. It is the mission of the podcast to provide grieving mothers everywhere a safe, sacred space where their grief is accepted. It is through the podcast that the culture of silence that surrounds the grief of the mother will be dismantled, and a culture of support will be created. It is our vision to create a community where we can share our questions, and concerns, and support each other.
Today's episode is about the role of dreams in grief. It can be difficult at times to tell if you are dreaming about your loved one or if it is your loved one coming to visit you in your dreams. As the host describes the dreams she has had about her deceased son, she makes connections to how these experiences can assist the grieving in coping with her their grief. Cristi would love to hear about your dreams. You can email me at grievinginsomanicas@gmail.com or leave her message at https://anchor.fm/grievinginsomniacs/message.
Please rate us and leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, and Amazon podcasts. Follow grieving insomniacs on Instagram or Facebook. https://wordpress.com/view/grievinginsomniacs.wordpress.com
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This is the second part of the interview with Matt's mom. Her message to all of the grieving parents out there is that support for each other is critically important while on this journey. We also discussed the importance of support for grieving fathers. Thanks again @mattsmom for being willing to come on the podcast and talk about her experiences on the grief journey.
Grieving Insomniacs is a podcast about grief, particularly the grief surrounding the loss of a child. We discuss the reality of grief. We get in the trenches and speak about the unspeakable. For many grieving parents, the message we receive is to not talk about our pain and we learn to hide how we feel. This podcast is designed to change this culture of silence surrounding the loss of children and to build hope that one day we can freely share how much we miss our children and need to talk about their memories.
grieving #grievingmother #grievingprocess #grievingpodcast #grievingmom #grievinginsomniacs #grief #griefjourney #podcast #podcastersofinstagram #podcastforwomen #nomorehidinggrief #gettingrealaboutgrief
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Today on our podcast we interview Matt's mom. I met Matt's mom when she reached out to me on Instagram on a post that I had created when I was missing my son. She is truly an inspiration to others as she travels her own grief journey she offers support to other's along the way. This is the first of a two part interview. We started talking and found that we had many similar experiences in our grief journey. It is my hope that other's who might be listening finding the same kind of support and sharing that I did in creating this episode.
Grieving Insomniacs is a podcast about grief particularly the grief surrounding the loss of a child. We discuss the real about grief. We get in the trenches and speak about the unspeakable. For many grieving parents the message we receive is to not talk about it, and to hide how we feel. This podcast is designed to change this culture of silence surrounding the loss of children and to build hope that one day we can freely share how much we miss our children and need to talk about their memories.
grieving #grievingmother #grievingprocess #grievingpodcast #grievingmom #grievinginsomniacs #grief #griefjourney #podcast #podcastersofinstagram #podcastforwomen #nomorehidinggrief #gettingrealaboutgrief
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Anniversaries dates such as birthdays, death days, and holidays can trigger nightmares. Listen in as we discuss nightmares in grief. Your host Cristi Habermann discusses nightmares and what it is like waking up every morning realizing that her nightmare has come true. A common nightmare for parents is dreaming that their child died. Try to imagine what it is like waking up every morning and knowing that your nightmare came true. Cristi discusses Edgar Cayce and his use of dreams to make psychic predictions and Raymond Moody who explored near-death experiences and the afterlife. Follow her on Instagram at Grieving Insomanics, or www.cristihabermann.com. Please like and suscribe.
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Ritual is an important part of grief. The funeral is a ritual. A wake is a ritual. Did you know that you can cope with grief using ritual. Today, on Grieving Insomanics we talk about creating rituals that help us express our grief. When using ritual before use intention and infuse each element with the love and care that you would express to your loved one if they were alive. Leave me a message at https://anchor.fm/grievinginsomniacs/message. Let me know what rituals you use to honor your loved ones. Contact me at grieving insomniacs on Facebook and Instagram or www.cristihabermann.com. #grieving #grievingmother #grievingprocess #grievingpodcast #grievingmom #grievinginsomniacs #grief #griefjourney #podcast #podcastersofinstagram #podcastforwomen #nomorehidinggrief #gettingrealaboutgrief
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In this episode, Cristi talks about Bereaved Mother's Day and Mother's Day. Grief can be triggered at any moment and in any day. She discusses societies' desire to not speak or say the word dead. Many people feel uncomfortable when saying someone's dead. They prefer cliches like "they passed away". When talking about grief it is imperative that we use words that accurately describe reality. Her son did not pass away. He died. In the conversation she discusses how to cope with the upcoming Mother's Day and self-care.
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Episode 4 discusses how unfair death is when you have a child die. It is not fair to the person who died early nor is it fair to the people left behind. Join us in and share your own thoughts about how unfair the death of your child was.
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This episode is the second in a four-part series of podcasts leading up to Mother's day in which we discuss the role of guilt in grief. There are different types of guilt. A grieving mother may feel guilty because they believed they caused the death of their child or they may feel guilty because they feel they did not fulfill the role of being a good mother. As women, we are socialized as all mighty and the protector of our children. When we fail in our eyes in this role we judge ourselves. It is important that grieving mother understand their early childhood experiences and other traumatic experiences that contribute to their feelings of guilt. Once these experiences are understood in the context of their life the guilt can be managed. This episode discusses the role of acceptance of death and accepting that as grieving mothers we were powerless in the death of children. Listen in as Cristi shares her story and encourages others on their journey to coping with grief.
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Hi, I am Cristi Habermann, the host of Grieving Insomanics a podcast about grief. In 2011 I lost my oldest son to cancer when he was 25 years old. Immediately, upon his death, I felt guilty about everything I could have, would have, or should have done. The guilt and shame I felt about his death became my constant companion. It is a subject that is whispered but never fully acknowledged in child loss. This first episode in a series titled Mom's guilt explores the definitions of grief and shame and the role of childhood experiences in the ability to cope with the death of a child. Cristi uses her own experiences to encourage others to get real about their grief. It is only through sharing our grief stories that the culture of silence surrounding the loss of a child will be changed. Cristi uses the #nomorehidinggrief as a way to encourage an open expression of grief surrounding the loss of a child for as long as a person chooses. Grieving a child is not complicated, nor is it a mental illness. It is an open expression of love.
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Guilt is one of the most complex issues in grief. Our life experiences shape how we experience grief, and what types of guilt we have surrounding the loss of a child. This episode discusses the role of radical self-acceptance of ourselves when it comes to grief. Not only does the host Cristi Habermann discuss self-acceptance she discusses the role of acceptance in grief. When a person accepts that death is something they were powerless over, there is freedom. It relieves a person of the burden of believing they could, have, and would have done something different to prevent death. Cristi discusses the use of Reality Therapy by Albert Ellis, and EMDR to promote brain healing in grief. Leave Cristi a message at https://anchor.fm/grievinginsomniacs/message and tell her what you think. Like and subscribe to hear more. Follow her on Instagram and Facebook at Grieving Insomniacs. Check her out at www.cristihabermann.com
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One of the major struggles after the loss of a child is the impact the death has on the identity of the mother. A grieving mother struggles with how to answer questions about "How many children do you have?" "Where do your children live?" These simple questions become triggering landmines in the journey through grief. Listen in and hear how one mother worked through the identity crisis after the loss of her adult son. If you are a grieving mother, listen and get support for your struggles in grief. If you love a grieving mother, this podcast will provide the listener with ideas on how to help the grieving mother.
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Welcome to Grieving Insomniacs. A podcast for grieving mothers by a grieving mother. In this episode, we talk about people's reactions to when you tell them your child has died. We continue the story of the narrator's journey through having to hear the words "your child died" and the natural reactions that occur from hearing that.
If you know someone that has lost a child or lost a child this podcast is for you. It will help you navigate your way through the difficult moments and conversations surrounding grief.
Thank you for showing up. I am glad you are here.
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Welcome to Grieving Insomniacs episode one. All grief begins with a death. Tonight, I am telling the story of how I became a grieving mother, and how those experiences have shaped the last ten years of my life. Listen in with me as we create our community by sharing our stories. I am honored you are here.
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An introduction to the Grieving Insomniacs podcast. A podcast about grief. Listen to see how you can share your stories, questions, or comments with me about grief. Listen to how I and others have survived the devastation of losing someone they loved to death. Listen to us on all your favorite podcasts sites.
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