Cold September: Recent Episodes
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Scottish Field once described Douglas Lindsay as “a master of comic crime.” Listeners should note this is because he writes comedy crime novels, not because he murders people while dressed as a clown.
The opening chapters of DS Hutton Book 2, A PLAGUE OF CROWS, read by author Douglas Lindsay.
Hutton comes down from the mountain to get psycho-analysed, and is then called back to work by his detective inspector, who shows him photographs of three victims who've had their brains eaten by crows.
A couple of short readings from the soon-to-be-released eighth novel in the DS Hutton crime fiction series.
- Hutton and DI Kallas stand over a disfigured corpse in the morgue
- He and DI Kallas interview a witness, learning that the killer is planning a grand adventure to escape capture
Selected readings from the third book in the Barney Thomson series.
After a year on the run, Barney returns to society:
- he fails in an attempt to hand himself into the police
- finds a job at a barbershop
- and outlines his iconic idea for a whisky advert featuring the Teletubbies.
Readings from the fourth book in the DS Hutton crime series, in which Hutton dreams about crows jabbing at his brains, has to interview a man whose neighbours are performing exhibitionist sex acts for his benefit, and relates a tale of being caught drinking wine up the graveyard, while chatting to the dead.
Human flesh turns up in a sandwich shop in excerpts from COLD CUTS, the first book in the Pereira & Bain crime series. A series so short it only has two books in it, and so therefore isn't really a series at all.
Further readings from the second Barbershop Floor collection, including the Schrödinger cut, the Rzeszów Covenant, and Shag, Marry, Get The Fuck Out Of Dodge - The Best Bond Villains Rated.
Readings from the sixth book in the DS Hutton crime series, Implements Of The Model Maker, plus the long and winding road to the book becoming a Hutton novel.
Hutton chews the fat; Hutton gets a telling off from the chief inspector; Hutton gets another telling off from another chief inspector.
Scenes from the seventh Barney Thomson novel, The Final Cut. Barney arrives at the offices of a large marketing firm in London; Barney gives a marketing executive advice and a haircut; murder at the hands of infamous assassin Harlequin Sweetlips.
Scenes from the third book in the DI Westphall series. Westphall haunted by guilt; interviewing an artist; and sitting in church, staring up at a stained glass window of the martyrdom of Saint Sebastian...
Readings from the second Barney Thomson book.
- Barney digs a grave!
- Barney cuts hair!
- Barney hides out in the attic, having inevitably been accused of serial murder!
Readings from the 7th DS Hutton novel, LET ME DIE IN MY FOOTSTEPS. The adventure begins...
The complete DI Westphall short story, Touch of The Spider, taken from the Cold September collection.
The story of the giant fish monster that was too ridiculous even for a Barney Thomson novel, and scenes from the book featuring murder! jokes!* ghosts! and much, much more.
*May not contain jokes.
That time I inadvertently altered history by recording a meeting between Wellington and Napoleon in the Map Room in the Foreign Office. Plus a few, slow scenes from Song Of The Dead, featuring the distilled essence of an Estonian November.
The Decapitated Head of John the Baptist test for the furtherance of modern art, the irony of Scooby Doo, and fake news of a mangled corpse on the rocks, feasted upon by giant, genetically-modified gulls. Just a regular day in Barney Thomson's barbershop.
From a 100,000-rambling first person love story, to a short esoteric (and erotic) literary novel, via an Oscar-nominated film producer and a movie that didn't even get close to getting considered, never mind made, the story of Ballad In Blue.
From page to screen, the tortuous journey of The Long Midnight of Barney Thomson into cinemas. Plus a reading from the book, written in the summer of 1995, in the air-conditioned comfort of a fifth-floor apartment in central Dakar.
That time Lindsay beat* Garry Kasparov at chess. And a reading from DS Hutton Book 5, IN MY TIME OF DYING, the world's first Covid-era serial killer novel.
- He lasted more than ten moves, which he's prepared to claim as a victory, and you can't stop him.
When your surreal work of literary crime doesn't get published. And when you want to use a line from the finest Paul McCartney song on earth in the book. Plus selected passages from the novel.
Gordon's dead! A two-month debate over an average joke in a sitcom that never got made. Plus the inside scoop, such as it is, on the Cold September short story collection, including readings of The Ringmaster and The Artist.
Welcome to the hairgasm. Barney and the crew of the Millport barbershop are back, in a reading from the ninth novel in the cult, noir, black comedy Barney Thomson series, Curse Of The Clown. It's all fun and games until somebody loses a penis...
The Beatles are back and this time they're a shaving foam, plus wild swimming, and other great topics of the day, are all discussed in the Millport barbershop, in this reading from the most recent entry in the Barney Thomson series. Plus a parenting tale as old as time, involving a winter wonderland and a naked German.