Coming Out Gold: Recent Episodes
Tammy Hall
Welcome to the Coming Out Gold Podcast with Coach Tammy. This podcast is for the woman feeling overwhelmed by the responsibilities weighing her down. It is for the woman ready to stop striving and start thriving. The episodes will help you get clear on what matters most, ignite what sets your heart on fire, and create a pathway to the life of your dreams. With practical tools and a tested strategy, you will learn to manage your energy, time, and resources. It is time for you to stop waiting for someday, stand in your power, and go after your wildest dreams. Press play and let’s get started!
This week I challenge you to pick an area where you want to see progress. Then lean in and go after what it is that sets your soul on fire. I believe in you and your ability to build a life you love. You've got this.
As always, DM me with your thoughts on this episode. If you are interested in hiring a coach and ready to change your life, please consider a free discovery call with me. You can find the scoop on my website: rscoachandstrategist.com
Follow me on:
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If variety is the spice of life, then monotony is the anesthesia of it. Monotony is a lack of variety and interest; a tedious repetition and routine.
But what happens when daily rhythms become deep ruts?
If you have been here for a bit you may have heard me talk about ruts and how they are defined as being dull and unproductive and hard to change. I have also stated I don't want to be in a rut and I don't want you to be in one either.
Monotony. It has us falling asleep inside our own lives. And that my friend is no way to live out our one beautiful life. On today's episode let's create a plan for balancing rhythms that bring ease with having enough variety that we don't fall into a rut.
As always, DM me with your thoughts on this episode. If you are interested in hiring a coach and ready to change your life, please consider a free discovery call with me. You can find the scoop on my website: rscoachandstrategist.com
Follow me on:
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We have been conditioned to believe that women always fight with other women. It was a lie sown into our consciousness and then pumped into the culture. We’ve been conditioned to think there’s not enough room at the table for all of us so we fight against others to ensure we have a place.
Those are lies from the pit of hell.
We can be FOR others without believing the same things they do. It is my "two things can be true at the same time" thing again. The world would be a flat place to live if we were cookie-cutter versions of some ideal a man created and told us we had to be.
Please, be an ally to other women. Period.
As always, DM me with your thoughts on this episode. If you are interested in hiring a coach and ready to make some changes in your life, please consider a free discovery call with me. You can find the scoop on my website: rscoachandstrategist.com
Follow me on:
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Today is a real talk episode where I focus on creating space for us to exhale. If you are walking through a hard season or have ever come out of one, I hope you will take a listen. More importantly, I hope it helps.
As always, DM me with your thoughts on this episode. If you are interested in hiring a coach and ready to make some changes in your life, please consider a free discovery call with me. You can find the scoop on my website: rscoachandstrategist.com
Follow me on:
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In today's episode, we tackle the choice between new blessings and old baggage. If you took on the challenge in episode 94 of evaluating your life and doing a midyear reset, some things may have bubbled up for you. You may have felt some resistance and wondered the source. If you didn't do the reset, I am sure you have previously experienced resistance or sensed some broken patterns in your life. This is part of being whole humans in this world.
The beautiful thing is we have an opportunity to do a new thing. We can choose whether to cling to our old baggage or open our hands to receive new blessings. Take a listen to this episode and make your choice!
As always, DM me with your thoughts on this episode. If you are interested in hiring a coach and ready to make some changes in your life, please consider a free discovery call with me. You can find the scoop on my website: rscoachandstrategist.com
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Let me state the obvious here. There is nothing special about January. It doesn't hold some mystical power to help you set and reach your goals. You can choose to do that on any day that ends in y no matter the month. When this episode drops many in America will be celebrating July 4th. Since July kicks off the second half of the year it is the perfect time for a reset. Christmas is 25 weeks away as I record this episode which basically means it will be here in approximately 15 minutes. Because of this, let's be intentional about how we will navigate the remainder of 2024.
If you are keeping up with the episodes you would have heard episode 89 where we talked about how decision+vision+action=growth. We are going to use that process to make the rest of 2024 all we hope it to be. And in doing so, we will set ourselves up for 2025 without feeling all the feels we can experience when we are surviving or floating through life. Lets get started...
As always, DM me with your thoughts on this episode. If you are interested in hiring a coach and ready to make some changes in your life, please consider a free discovery call with me. You can find the scoop on my website: rscoachandstrategist.com
Follow me on:
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Today we are going to chat about finding satisfaction with our life by embarking on a personal renaissance. I share tips for how to rebrand, rebuild, and resurrect our true identity.
You get to make your life what you want it to be. You get to define your true identity, discover or uncover your purpose, and build a life accordingly. It won't be perfect or without bumps but as the amazing Brene Brown says, 'When we have the courage to walk into our story and own it, we get to write the ending." Let's get started!
As always, DM me with your thoughts on this episode. If you are interested in hiring a coach and ready to make some changes in your life, please consider a free discovery call with me. You can find the scoop on my website: rscoachandstrategist.com
Follow me on:
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If practicing neutrality and saying "interesting" helps us become curious and less judgmental, then taking action will help us evolve even more. Today, I will offer some practical strategies for taking some beliefs you may have about your identity and challenging that list of "nots" we create for ourselves over time that manage to define who we are and how we move around the world. Let's dive in!
As always, DM me with your thoughts on this episode. If you are interested in hiring a coach and ready to make some changes in your life, please consider a free discovery call with me. You can find the scoop on my website: rscoachandstrategist.com
Follow me on:
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Have you heard of the saying about the glass being half-full? Maybe someone has accused you of being a glass-half-empty person. Well, today I want to offer a third way of seeing, one free of judgment and rooted in neutrality. I hope it helps you practice observing not absorbing as we strive to live a softer story.
As always, DM me with your thoughts on this episode. If you are interested in hiring a coach and ready to make some changes in your life, please consider a free discovery call with me. You can find the scoop on my website: rscoachandstrategist.com
Follow me on:
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In today's episode, I want to do a real talk with Coach Tammy episode focused on growth. We are saturated in such a microwave society where we want - or more accurately demand - instant results. We want what we want when we want it. Hard stop. And that applies to personal growth as well for many of us.
Sorry to burst anyone's bubble, but sustainable change doesn't happen like that. Lasting growth is done incrementally...slowly over time. Tiny baby step by tiny baby step. Let's chat about it...
As always, DM me with your thoughts on this episode. If you are interested in hiring a coach and ready to make some changes in your life, please consider a free discovery call with me. You can find the scoop on my website: rscoachandstrategist.com
Follow me on:
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Editing error had a minute of silence in the first upload. I have replaced the file with a corrected version. Thanks for the grace!
If you have found us here at the Coming Out Gold podcast, I believe you are open to doing a new thing. As like-minded humans, I believe we want growth even if we aren't sure how to make it happen. By the end of today's episode, I hope you have the tools needed to create a plan for growth in your life.
Buckle up beautiful! We are going on this ride together.
As always, DM me with your thoughts on this episode. If you are interested in hiring a coach and ready to make some changes in your life, please consider a free discovery call with me. You can find the scoop on my website: rscoachandstrategist.com
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In this episode, I want to highlight a key skill we will need to navigate our journey of being the main character in our story. The skill I am talking about is learning to adapt. I offer an acronym that shifts the energy around welcoming new situations and circumstances all in a quest to help us grow and become the main characters in our stories.
As always, DM me with your thoughts on this episode. If you are interested in hiring a coach and ready to make some changes in your life, please consider a free discovery call with me. You can find the scoop on my website: rscoachandstrategist.com
Follow me on:
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Have you seen the Disney movie Wish? Well, I did, and it got me thinking. In today's episode, I am asking if we gave our dreams away... to shoulds, for protection, or so we could meet the expectations of others. When we give them up or away we give away and give up on a part of our soul that needs to be expressed. It is time we find those dreams and start gooing after them!
As always, DM me with your thoughts on this episode. If you are interested in hiring a coach and ready to make some changes in your life, please consider a free discovery call with me. You can find the scoop on my website: rscoachandstrategist.com
Follow me on:
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In Episode 86, I want to process together a new revelation I have had about goals. For years goals have marked the end point of a journey. But I am beginning to think they might just be the start of something new. Follow along as I contemplate a new way of seeing and setting goals.
As always, DM me with your thoughts on this episode. If you are interested in hiring a coach and ready to make some changes in your life, please consider a free discovery call with me. You can find the scoop on my website: rscoachandstrategist.com
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Last week I celebrated my birthday. I had to do the math to figure out how old I was because I don't ever think about it. That whole age is just a number thing. I am not going to lie, I cannot believe how old I am. I seriously don't know how that happened. Okay, so I do know, but I just don't get how life and the years have flown by.
This year I was very intentional about having a different attitude about this day. I didn't want to carry the mantle of heaviness on my shoulders as I have done for years now. Instead, I tried to have open hands about it. My intention for sharing this episode today is to offer another option for navigating a season that makes you uncomfortable or scratches open an old wound. We will all encounter them so let's try to make it better. I hope you find one or more of these helpful as you live your story.
As always, DM me with your thoughts on this episode. If you are interested in hiring a coach and ready to make some changes in your life, please consider a free discovery call with me. You can find the scoop on my website: rscoachandstrategist.com
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Today, I want to talk about ghostwork and how we, as women, can shake off the cloak of invisibility we often wear.
A couple of years back, I heard the phrase "Ghostwork" on a podcast, and I was intrigued. It talked about the countless jobs women do without acknowledgment or recognition. Yet if those things weren't completed by women, I have no doubt people would notice. Join me as I offer three steps to help us stop doing ghost work and learn to shake off the cloak of invisibility.
As always, DM me with your thoughts on this episode. If you are interested in hiring a coach and ready to make some changes in your life, please consider a free discovery call with me. You can find the scoop on my website: rscoachandstrategist.com
Follow me on:
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Today's episode is a real talk episode where I chat about rest - emotional, physical, spiritual, and mental and what I learned from a recent podcast with speak, author, and pastor Jess Connolly. I also share four quick strategies to help us find rest in our day-to-day lives. Take a listen and then share your thoughts!
As always, DM me with your thoughts on this episode. If you are interested in hiring a coach and ready to make some changes in your life, please consider a free discovery call with me. You can find the scoop on my website: rscoachandstrategist.com
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In this episode, I share a quote by author Dr. Allison Cook, who says in her book The Best of You, "Your identity isn't fixed. It's a process of bringing out the best of you." This started me on a path of digging into a fixed vs. growth mindset. I get very transparent today about some false labels I have been wearing for far too long. It is an emotional one but I felt the need to peel back the curtain to show some deep work I am tackling in this season.
I always want to be real with you. Just know there is some talk of trauma and ED. Opt out if that is a trigger for you!
As always, DM me with your thoughts on this episode. If you are interested in hiring a coach and ready to make some changes in your life, please consider a free discovery call with me. You can find the scoop on my website: rscoachandstrategist.com
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Many of us have yearned for change, to step out of old habits and break away from false narratives. We have longed for freedom in a variety of areas of our lives. And yet, we have encountered resistance. Our "want to" is not connected to our "willing to".
Today, we tackle our willingness, and we work towards aligning our "want to" with our "willing to" so we can live a better story. Jump in and take a listen. Then message me on socials, letting me know your thoughts.
As always, DM me with your thoughts on this episode. If you are interested in hiring a coach and ready to make some changes in your life, please consider a free discovery call with me. You can find the scoop on my website: rscoachandstrategist.com
Follow me on:
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Welcome back to a Real Talk episode! Today I ask us to do two things on our journey to becoming the star of our own lives:
1) Look for clues
2) Follow the breadcrumbs
Listen in for some candid conversation where I get vulnerable about not listening to my own intuition and what it taught me.
As always, DM me with your thoughts on this episode. If you are interested in hiring a coach and ready to make some changes in your life, please consider a free discovery call with me. You can find the scoop on my website: rscoachandstrategist.com
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Today I want to talk about lasting transformation. Transitions can lead to transformation if we are focused and intentional with the choices we make in this one beautiful life of ours. I hope to make the case that true transformation creates shifts in our identity. It's these shifts over time that allow us to reclaim or step into our true identity.
Because you know I always share some strategies for doing our work, I share two ways to help us create lasting transformation in our lives. There are just two, Lovie, so I know we can do it! Take a listen and let me know your thoughts.
As always, DM me with your thoughts on this episode. If you are interested in hiring a coach and ready to make some changes in your life, please consider a free discovery call with me. You can find the scoop on my website: rscoachandstrategist.com
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Today we are going to talk about a shared experience we all have if we are humans living on this planet. Transition. Just the word for some can spark stress. If I talk about being in a season of transition, do you feel butterflies of anxiety start to flutter in your gut? Change can be hard. I know some who absolutely detest the idea of change. And yet if we are going to live out our true purpose and walk with that main character energy every day, we have to acknowledge transitions are as much a part of that as breathing.
If you have tuned in since the beginning of season three, you will know I am dedicated to curating a life where I am the main character on a grand adventure. I want to share any tips and tricks I have learned along the way so that you, too, can join me on this journey home to our truest selves. I firmly believe we can learn to accept change and make transitions with ease. Even more, I know we deserve to live with the confident ease of sparkly outfitted trapeze artists flying high and far.
As always, DM me with your thoughts on this episode. And if you are interested in hiring a coach and ready to make some changes in your life, please consider a free discovery call with me. You can find the scoop on my website: rscoachandstrategist.com
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Raise your hand if you have fallen for the excellent marketing skills behind some type of self-care. Gracious knows I have. A couple of decades working in the fashion industry would make it impossible not to fall for them. I am sure you could tick off a long list of things the world considers as acts of self-care. Top of mind for me would be nail appointments, salon dates, and spa treatments. And you can always count on the "treat yourself" mentality that is out there. But what if self-care for you felt different than how the world presents it?
In today's episode we are going to strip away the shoulds of self-care and take a new path...one where we choose what cares for our soul best. And I promise you don't need the Kardashian's bank account to give it a go!
As always, DM me with your thoughts on this episode. And if you are interested in hiring a coach and ready to make some changes in your life, please consider a free discovery call with me. You can find the scoop on my website: rscoachandstrategist.com
Follow me on:
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It is time to turn it up!
In this episode, we learn how to turn up the volume on our intuition so we can learn what we need and want out of life and how we can get it. We need to crank up the volume of that still small voice inside to find the truth we have always held within us. And we need to find it, Lovie, so we can learn to trust ourselves again. This patriarchal world has pushed a false narrative that women are not trustworthy. Sadly we had no choice but to believe it because it was the only message we heard. Now it is time to listen to our inner voice so we can own our truth, so we can know who we are and what we want from our one beautiful life.
Lovie, we are trustworthy. We can handle all the world hands us. We can rely on our intuition to guide us home. And we are victorious when we do it by honoring the voice inside us that says, "This is the way. Walk in it."
As always, DM me with your thoughts on this episode. If you are interested in hiring a coach and ready to make some changes in your life, please consider a free discovery call with me. You can find the scoop on my website: rscoachandstrategist.com
Follow me on:
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This is a real talk episode where I share some musing and offer up an idea I had to get some feedback from you. I truly want your thoughts. Please use the social media links below to tell me your thoughts on my idea of Wish List Wednesday.
I know this is a rambling bit of chit-chat. I understand you might not like it. And also, you might fully relate to the descent into madness ;) Either way, I have shipped this episode and would love to know your thoughts.
As always, DM me with your thoughts on this episode. And if you are interested in hiring a coach and ready to make some changes in your life, please consider a free discovery call with me. You can find the scoop on my website: rscoachandstrategist.com
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In today's episode, we are focusing on a common stumbling block many of us face on the path to our next level by dispelling the myth of "behind".
Raise your hand if you have ever heard yourself lament that you were behind. Perhaps you feel like you aren't moving as fast as you should be through your day. You are "behind" because you have failed to tick off as many tasks as you had hoped. Toxic productivity is at play here. Maybe you are looking at your dreams, and it feels like you are miles from where you hoped to be. You long to give birth to this beautiful idea and yet nothing is happening. You are "behind" because you have failed to make the progress needed. Worse, maybe you are playing the comparison game, and end up berating yourself for being "behind" others you see in similar fields. Maybe you are looking at other women you think have it all together, and you are left feeling "behind" in every area. Maybe you are looking around and noticing your friends have the partners, kids, jobs, houses, cars, and adventures you expected to have by now leaving you feeling "behind" in life. Lovie, may I gently and lovingly point out that these are all judgments we impose on ourselves. And, as always, with judgment comes shame.
It is time for us to debunk this myth and put an end to the false narrative that we are "behind".
As always, DM me with your thoughts on this episode. And if you are interested in hiring a coach and ready to make some changes in your life, please consider a free discovery call with me. You can find the scoop on my website: rscoachandstrategist.com
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Last week I set the table for a conversation about what becoming the main character of your life looks like. I gave some background for why I am taking on this challenge in my next season. Honestly, I want this for more than just my next season. I want it for every day I take a breath on this earth. I shared some thoughts on how we - both suddenly and slowly - find ourselves in a place where our dreams have died on the altar of others expectations. I asked you to simply open your mind to dream of what life could look like if you said yes to living out your dreams. And then I ended the episode because I had already said so many words...If you haven't listened to part one of Becoming the Main Character of Your Story, please hit pause on this one and go back to episode 72. The foundation for where I am taking us in this episode is set there. Then come back to this episode for the nuts and bolts on how to begin making this shift in your life.
Now I know I left you hanging on for the steps we can take to own our story, so I hope you are buckled up and ready to drive even further down this road by learning how to become the main character in your life. Let's get going...
As always, DM me with your thoughts on this episode. And if you are interested in hiring a coach and ready to make some changes in your life, please consider a free discovery call with me. You can find the scoop on my website: rscoachandstrategist.com
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Last week, I shared a mantra that's helping improve my life: slow, soften, exhale, expand. It is helping me learn to come alive in my own story. We have served our time setting aside all that sets our souls on fire, Lovie! It is time to live out our dreams. Today, we will drive further down this same road by learning what it means to become the main character in our lives.
Brene Brown says that greatness is owning your story and loving yourself through the process. And I have chosen this as the journey I will undertake in this next season. As a listener of the podcast, I hope it is a journey you, too, choose to take. Let me try and connect some dots for us today. And be sure to come back as this episode is only the tip of the iceberg!
As always, DM me with your thoughts on this episode. If you are interested in hiring a coach and ready to make some changes in your life, please consider a free discovery call with me. You can find the scoop on my website: rscoachandstrategist.com
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If you could live a life where you can be present in every moment, enjoying the people you cross paths with, savor the meals you eat, feel the sunshine on your face, and still take care of the things you need to take care of as a whole grown person, then would you want to give it a go? My new mantra could hold the key to you achieving a better story at a pace that fills your soul with peace, not exhaustion.
I am sure you have heard of the concept of toxic positivity. It is the belief that no matter how dire or difficult a situation is, people should maintain a positive mindset. It is the need for everything to always be "fine". Today I want to talk about another toxic pattern: toxic productivity. I define toxic productivity as the churn-and-burn thought process soaked in shoulds and layered with a scarcity mindset that most of us are expected to walk out as women in this world. Listen in as I share how I am using my new mantra to reset the patterns and rhythms of my life.
To come alive in my story I am using this mantra: Slow. Soften. Exhale. Expand.
As always, DM me with your thoughts on this episode. And if you are interested in hiring a coach and ready to make some changes in your life, please consider a free discovery call with me. You can find the scoop on my website: rscoachandstrategist.com
Follow me on:
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Well, it has been a minute since I dropped a new episode. I apologize for taking a sudden and unplanned break, and I have missed you so deeply. I know I am not alone in experiencing that life can sometimes feel like a tsunami sweeping over you. You know, the kind that knocks you off your feet and onto your backside, stealing your breath and threatening to swallow you whole. You do know what I am talking about, don't you?
In this kick off to season three, I am doing a bit of a life update as well as working to set the stage for what this next season of the podcast will be centered on. I have been finding myself in conversations lately with women who have passed the midpoint of their lives. They are looking around and wondering what the actual heck happened to them and their dreams. Even those who have lots of great things going on are expressing that there is something missing. In this next season we will dive into why that might be and what we can do to change to narrative. It is about taking control of our lives, hopes and dreams once again and chasing down the thing that sets our souls on fire. My hope is for us to link arms as women so we can use our shared power to write a new story. This isn't a "let me tell you how I have figured out the mysteries of life" kind of podcast. It is a messy look in to the reality of reinventing ourselves after life has knocked us around a bit. It is about cheering for one another, sharing tools and tips, and working together to build lives we want to live. If you are looking for a perfect coach who has the ideal life, I am so not your person. But if you are looking for a coach willing to get in the trenches alongside you and working to figure things out together, then you are at the right place. Take a listen and as always, shoot me a DM on socials with your thoughts! Lovie, it is time we became the sheroes of our stories!
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Every so often in my life, demons from my past like to pop into my present life to take me out. Do you know what I am talking about?
Often we have story loops in our minds - or, let's face it, people in our lives - who like to remind us of our old selves, old patterns, and old brokenness. If we are honest with ourselves, we might have to admit that we are drudging up those old stories. In these moments, we may question the validity of our growth and healing. Depending on the wounds we carry, we may question our very worth.
Viewing this situation through a clearer lens, I began asking myself questions I think we should all be asking ourselves. I believe we should be pondering them deeply as we walk through our days - especially the hard ones. In this episode, I share my musing with you, Lovie, along with the questions I started asking myself. They helped lead me to a new place. I hope they will do the same for you!
If you are interested in hiring a coach and ready to make some changes in your life, please consider a free discovery call with me. You can find the scoop on my website: rscoachandstrategist.com
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How often do we discount all we do because it isn't the work we wanted to get done, or we think should get done? If you have been here for a while, you know how I feel about the word "should".
As women, we are trained to hustle for our worth. We have to produce, manage, and care for an extensive list of things in order to feel successful or be perceived as good enough. If we are going to live in a world where we DON'T have to hustle for our worth, then we need to acknowledge all the work we do instead of discounting it as having value. We need to acknowledge the myriad of silent tasks we handle daily.
If you are interested in hiring a coach and ready to make some changes in your life, please consider a free discovery call with me. You can find the scoop on my website: rscoachandstrategist.com
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Today I want us to question some narratives many of us wrestle with. I was finishing the book, Dare to Lead by Brene Brown, which is what triggered my desire to do this episode. In the final chapter of the book, she said the most dangerous stories we tell ourselves are ones that diminish our loveability, creativity, and divinity. Bless, but that one landed a blow that hurt. Since part of my purpose here on the Coming out Gold podcast is to help us dismantle false narratives, we are spending some time on this today. Let's tackle these roadblocks together, Lovie.
If you are interested in hiring a coach and ready to make some changes in your life, please consider a free discovery call with me. You can find the scoop on my website: rscoachandstrategist.com
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The original drop date of this episode is February 14, 2023. Regardless of your relationship status, I have no doubt Valentine’s Day makes you feel some kind of way. In episode 66, I share a new perspective on this day because I think it can help us all.
The world is constantly working to convince us to look outside ourselves for validation. We compare, weigh, and measure our day-to-day lives against the highlight reels of others. We internalize the Hollywood, magazine-cover ideal and weaponize it against our souls. And instead of knowing our worth, standing tall in the certainty that we are by birthright freaking fabulous, and being our own cheerleader, we diminish our value. It is wrong for us to bench ourselves in our own life because we believe in a lie that we aren’t enough. When we take ourselves out of the game the world suffers. Our community suffers. Those who love us suffer. We suffer.
Let's break that cycle. Let's learn to be on our own team.
If you are interested in hiring a coach and ready to make some changes in your life, please consider a free discovery call with me. You can find the scoop on my website: rscoachandstrategist.com
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Welcome back to episode 65 of the Coming Out Gold podcast. In the last episode, I discussed the idea of living a regret-free life. Today I want us to start laying the foundation for doing this by defining the non-negotiables we need to do daily to be our best selves. Whatever your season, whatever your focus for 2023, this episode can help you establish some guardrails to keep you moving forward toward becoming an even more spectacular version of your already incredible self. Take a listen to this episode and start taking small baby steps in the direction of your dreams!
If you are interested in hiring a coach and ready to make changes in your life, please consider a free discovery call with me. You can find the scoop on my website: rscoachandstrategist.com
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Studies have shown that when people are in their final days of life their biggest regrets are always the path not taken, the things they never did because they told themselves lies about why they couldn’t do the thing their souls yearned to do. If this has scientifically been proven to be true, then isn’t NOT looking, not course-correcting, not taking small simple steps of progress in the direction of your dreams, isn’t this the radical choice for regret? By not choosing to see where you are, being honest about where you want to go, and day-after-day-after-day taking tiny steps in that direction, you have chosen to live a life you will regret.
Does that hurt your heart as it does mine? Seriously, the thought brings an ache to the center of my soul. Sure, one of my core desires is to live a life that matters long after I am gone. That might not be a core wish for you. But bless, do you want to choose a life you know you will regret?
The realization that I have done this for too many years makes me sick to my stomach. I don’t want regret to be the legacy I leave this world. I hope you don’t want that either. And that is why we are spending some time this year focusing on building a regret-free life.
Take a listen to this episode, and be sure to come back as I share some tools to help us all live the life of our dreams so we can rule our own world.
If you are interested in hiring a coach and ready to make some changes in your life, please consider a free discovery call with me. You can find the scoop on my website: rscoachandstrategist.com
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Lovie, lovie, lovie, here we are on the final day of the first-ever podmas on the Coming Out Gold podcast. I truly hope this 12 day journey has brought a smile to your face and some warmth to your holidays. Settle in for our final day as I share my hopes for you in this season.
If you are interested in hiring a coach and ready to make some changes in your life, please consider a free discovery call with me. You can find the scoop on my website: rscoachandstrategist.com
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Welcome back Lovie. It is episode 11 of podmas here at Coming Out Gold. Can you believe there is only one episode left?!?! It has flown by for me and I might just miss it when it ends tomorrow. For today though, I want to share some quick tips to help if you find yourself having hard conversations with people in your lives. I want you to enjoy your holidays and not get caught up in old patterns.
If you are interested in hiring a coach and ready to make some changes in your life, please consider a free discovery call with me. You can find the scoop on my website: rscoachandstrategist.com
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Today we hit double digits on podmas, Lovie! Go us! If you have shown up for everyone, please know I am sending you a giant Christmas hug. And if you haven’t been able to, I hope you will take some time over the holiday weekend to catch up. For episode ten of podmas I am going to share a question that when asked can be a real game changer for our lives. I think you are going to love it.
If you are interested in hiring a coach and ready to make some changes in your life, please consider a free discovery call with me. You can find the scoop on my website: rscoachandstrategist.com
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Welcome back to episode nine of podmas. Many people are racing toward Christmas and we are all running towards the end of the year. I call this the final push. Today, let’s get tactical with ways to do that well and without so much stress and bother.
Breathe deep. Come present in your body. Don’t allow your mind to tell you lies. And count your blessings. You’ve got this, Lovie. Press on.
If you are interested in hiring a coach and ready to make some changes in your life, please consider a free discovery call with me. You can find the scoop on my website: rscoachandstrategist.com
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When this episode airs it will be my daughter Alexandria’s birthday. To celebrate her and share a good laugh, I thought podmas episode 8 could be a rapid fire game of This or That plus some funny questions. Buckle up because it is never a dull moment when she is in the house!
For those of you who don’t know there is never a shortage of opinions when we are together and we love to play games. I hope you enjoy this episode.
If you are interested in hiring a coach and ready to make some changes in your life, please consider a free discovery call with me. You can find the scoop on my website: rscoachandstrategist.com
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I cannot believe we are halfway through the first-ever Podmas on the Coming Out Gold Podcast! When this recording goes live there will only be six more days until Christmas! I feel like this year has been a bit of a blur! Today I want to chat about a tradition that is dying and I for one am so sad about it. Let’s chat about Christmas Cards.
Lovie, I know these episodes are little nuggets and most are focused on the holidays. Still, though I hope you are enjoying a brief respite from your day-to-day life. Thanks for listening. Be sure to come back tomorrow because I am having a special guest to share some fun rapid-fire questions. It is going to be a blast!
If you are interested in hiring a coach and ready to make some changes in your life, please consider a free discovery call with me. You can find the scoop on my website: rscoachandstrategist.com
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Lovie, it is episode 6 of podmas and time is flying. I know yesterday was a bit heavy so for those of you who listened in, thank you. I really hope you heard my heart and will reach out to people in your life to check in and remind them that they are loved. Today, I thought I would toss out some practical bits in case you are still looking for a few last-minute gifts. After all, this episode originally airs on December 18th meaning there are only 7 days left until Christmas Day! Time to get gifting…
I love giving gifts and I try to be thoughtful in the things I choose. And I am a sucker for a themed gift. Because of this, I thought I would toss some of these out to you today in case you are coming on short on inspiration for someone in your life. Take a listen for some of my go-to ideas.
REMINDER: If you or someone you know is struggling, please reach out to the US National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255.
If you are interested in hiring a coach and ready to make some changes in your life, please consider a free discovery call with me. You can find the scoop on my website: rscoachandstrategist.com
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It is day five of Podmas at Coming Out Gold. We have had some fun the past few days - at least I hope you have had as much fun as I am having! Today I want to talk about what I believe is often the elephant in the room during the holiday season and that is loneliness. Settle in as we have a serious conversation about this important topic today.
If you or someone you know is struggling, please reach out to the US National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255.
If you are interested in hiring a coach and ready to make some changes in your life, please consider a free discovery call with me. You can find the scoop on my website: rscoachandstrategist.com
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Welcome to the first ever Podmas on Coming Out Gold. If you know me you know I love Christmas and heaven knows I am always down for a Hallmark Christmas movie. The cheesier the better! I am also a junkie for Vlogmas on YouTube and try not to miss daily videos from some of my favorite creators. For me, doing Podmas is about showing up to share a bit of myself with you. So grab your coziest blanket, fill your favorite mug with the warm drink of your choice and let your self exhale for a few minutes as I share short bit with you.
Welcome back Lovie to Podmas day three! So far we have chatted about Christmas traditions and how sometimes we have to be patient as we wait on a missing piece. Now on this little podcast nugget, I want to share a story that I hope makes you laugh. Heaven knows it still makes my oldest daughter laugh seven years later. She even said it will be one of the memories she brings up to laugh about in my final days. It’s a good one so get ready to laugh…
If you are interested in hiring a coach and ready to make some changes in your life, please consider a free discovery call with me. You can find the scoop on my website: rscoachandstrategist.com
Follow me on:
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Welcome to the first-ever Podmas on Coming Out Gold. If you know me you know I love Christmas and heaven knows I am always down for a Hallmark Christmas movie. The cheesier the better! I am also a junkie for Vlogmas on YouTube and try not to miss daily videos from some of my favorite creators. For me, doing Podmas is about showing up to share a bit of myself with you. So grab your coziest blanket, fill your favorite mug with the warm drink of your choice and let yourself exhale for a few minutes as I share a short bit with you.
Welcome back Lovie to Podmas day three! So far we have chatted about Christmas traditions and how sometimes we have to be patient as we wait on a missing piece. Now on this little podcast nugget, I want to share a story that I hope makes you laugh. Heaven knows it still makes my oldest daughter laugh seven years later. She even said it will be one of the memories she brings up to laugh about in my final days. It’s a good one so get ready to laugh…
If you are interested in hiring a coach and ready to make some changes in your life, please consider a free discovery call with me. You can find the scoop on my website: rscoachandstrategist.com
Follow me on:
Instagram: @Coming-Out-Gold-Podcast or @RS_Coach_and_Strategist
Facebook: @Coming-Out-Gold-Podcast or @rscoachandstrategist
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Welcome to the first-ever Podmas on Coming Out Gold. If you know me you know I love Christmas and heaven knows I am always down for a Hallmark Christmas movie. The cheesier the better! I am also a junkie for Vlogmas on YouTube and try not to miss daily videos from some of my favorite creators. For me, doing Podmas is about showing up to share a bit of myself with you. So grab your coziest blanket, fill your favorite mug with the warm drink of your choice and let yourself exhale for a few minutes as I share a short bit with you.
It is Podmas day 2 and today I want to share some of my favorite traditions. Take a listen. Then head to social media and find the post where you can share your traditions with me.
If you are interested in hiring a coach and ready to make some changes in your life, please consider a free discovery call with me. You can find the scoop on my website: rscoachandstrategist.com
Follow me on:
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Welcome to the first-ever Podmas on Coming Out Gold. If you know me you know I love Christmas and heaven knows I am always down for a Hallmark Christmas movie. The cheesier the better! I am also a junkie for Vlogmas on YouTube and try not to miss daily videos from some of my favorite creators. For me, doing Podmas is about showing up to share a bit of myself with you. So grab your coziest blanket, fill your favorite mug with the warm drink of your choice and let yourself exhale for a few minutes as I share a short bit with you.
In Episode one, I am sharing a lesson about finding the missing piece. Listen and let me know your thoughts!
If you are interested in hiring a coach and ready to make some changes in your life, please consider a free discovery call with me. You can find the scoop on my website: rscoachandstrategist.com
Follow me on:
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It is that time of year once again...the holiday season. If ever there was an "and also" season this is it! Holidays can be both hard and beautiful. This episode was recorded last year during the holiday season and turned out to be one of my most popular episodes. Because of this (and the fact that I have no voice currently!) I have decided to replay this episode. I hope it speaks to you in whatever space you are in. Even more importantly, I hope you find ways to guard your peace and fill your life with joy this holiday season.
And be sure to subscribe to the podcast and social media because I have some fun episodes coming your way this holiday season. I have a few tricks up my sleeve just for you and you don't want to miss them!
If you are interested in hiring a coach and ready to make some changes in your life, please consider a free discovery call with me. You can find the scoop on my website: rscoachandstrategist.com
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Welcome back to the fourth installment in the Conversations with Girlfriends series. Today I am sharing with you a chat I had with my favorite Australian friend, Kerin. She is a fellow Wonder Woman, a health coach focusing primarily on gut health, and the only person in my life who is also interested in regenerative farming. She just celebrated her 50th birthday, which made her the perfect guest for my 50th episode. I hope you will enjoy our chat as we talk about being single, fabulous, and wildly brave. I know you are going to love her as much as I do!
If you are interested in hiring a coach and ready to make some changes in your life, please consider a free discovery call with me. You can find the scoop on my website: rscoachandstrategist.com
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If you have been around for more than a minute, then you know I am a woman who loves and wants to lift other women. Having girlfriends is something I have always valued. And also, I understand they require energy and time. As with any other relationship they need to be nurtured and cared for if they are going to be sustainable. This is why I am doing a series called Conversations with Girlfriends. This is me chatting with some of the women in my life. Some are based on specific topics or life seasons. Some are winding conversations that can bounce around a bit. I plan to edit them very little because it is the rawness and the honesty that I am hoping to share. I hope you will enjoy being a fly on the wall as I chat with some of my favorite lovies. I know you will find yourself and common experiences reflected in some of these moments. And hopefully, when we land the plane, you will take on the challenge I give us because it can change your life and the lives of others. Let's get started!
Today I chat with my friend Marie Hannaman. She is the host of the My Side of the Street podcast and owner of Six20 sober living homes! She is also another of my Wonder Women. Marie shares her struggle with addiction and mental illness and how those have impacted her friendships. We share laughter and tears as we dive into our chat.
Let's drop in on my conversation with my friend Marie.
Also, I hope you will accept the challenge I gave in the first podcast in this series to send a message to a friend every single day when you first wake up for the rest of the year. It will only take you a minute, so don't overthink it! Let's start a tsunami of calling out the beauty in other women so we can all rise together.
If you want to reach Marie, feel free to use one of the links she shared here:
mariehannaman@mysideofthestreet.com
https://linktr.ee/mysideofthestreet
https://www.facebook.com/mysideofthestreetmariehannaman
951.292.3137
Six20home@gmail.com
https://www.facebook.com/six20home
If you are interested in hiring a coach and ready to make some changes in your life, please consider a free discovery call with me. You can find the scoop on my website: rscoachandstrategist.com
Follow me on:
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Coach Tammy blazing in with a short and sweet Real Talk episode. Since I always want this to be a come with me process, I wanted to let you in n something I did this weekend that has refilled my cup. Check it out and let me know your thoughts over on any of my pages below!
If you are interested in hiring a coach and ready to make some changes in your life, please consider a free discovery call with me. You can find the scoop on my website: rscoachandstrategist.com
Follow me on:
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If you have been around for more than a minute, then you know I am a woman who loves and wants to lift other women. Having girlfriends is something I have always valued. And also, I understand they require energy and time. As with any other relationship they need to be nurtured and cared for if they are going to be sustainable. This is why I am doing a series called Conversations with Girlfriends. This is me chatting with some of the women in my life. Some are based on specific topics or life seasons. Some are winding conversations that can bounce around a bit. I plan to edit them very little because it is the rawness and the honesty that I am hoping to share. I hope you will enjoy being a fly on the wall as I chat with some of my favorite lovies. I know you will find yourself and common experiences reflected in some of these moments. And hopefully, when we land the plane, you will take on the challenge I give us because it can change your life and the lives of others. Let's get started!
Today I chat with my friend Jenny. She is a teacher, mom, and all-around badass unicorn! We have been friends for over a decade now, and I am so thankful for her wisdom. Listen in as we talk about friendships before and after navigating divorce along with so many other things. I can't wait for you to hear our conversation.
Also, I hope you will accept the challenge I gave in the first podcast in this series to send a message to a friend every single day when you first wake up for the rest of the year. It will only take you a minute, so don't overthink it! Let's start a tsunami of calling out the beauty in other women so we can all rise together.
If you are interested in hiring a coach and ready to make some changes in your life, please consider a free discovery call with me. You can find the scoop on my website: rscoachandstrategist.com
Follow me on:
Instagram: @Coming-Out-Gold-Podcast or @RS_Coach_and_Strategist
Facebook: @Coming-Out-Gold-Podcast or @rscoachandstrategist
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If you have been around for more than a minute, then you know I am a woman who loves and wants to lift other women. Having girlfriends is something I have always valued. And also, I understand they require energy and time. As with any other relationship they need to be nurtured and cared for if they are going to be sustainable. This is why I am doing a series called Conversations with Girlfriends. This is me chatting with some of the women in my life. Some are based on specific topics or life seasons. Some are winding conversations that can bounce around a bit. I plan to edit them very little because it is the rawness and the honesty that I am hoping to share. I hope you will enjoy being a fly on the wall as I chat with some of my favorite lovies. I know you will find yourself and common experiences reflected in some of these moments. And hopefully, when we land the plane, you will take on the challenge I give us because it can change your life and the lives of others. Let's get started!
Today I chat with my friend and fellow coach Heather Hargrave. She is a coach and podcaster at Ballyhoo Bridge. We talk about what happens when you leave a church or organization, how you navigate the transition of those relationships and having expectations of others. I can't wait for you to hear what we chat about. Be sure to follow her on socials and head over to her podcast!
Also, I hope you will accept the challenge I give to send a message to a friend every single day when you first wake up for the rest of the year. It will only take you a minute, so don't overthink it! Let's start a tsunami of calling out the beauty in other women s we can all rise together.
If you are interested in hiring a coach and ready to make some changes in your life, please consider a free discovery call with me. You can find the scoop on my website: rscoachandstrategist.com
Follow me on:
Instagram: @Coming-Out-Gold-Podcast or @RS_Coach_and_Strategist
Facebook: @Coming-Out-Gold-Podcast or @rscoachandstrategist
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Hi Lovie, and welcome back! This episode is a bit of a catch-up and me sharing something I have been working on lately.
If you follow along on socials you know that I didn't drop an episode last week as planned because, well....life. I am hard on myself and don't like to feel like I have dropped the ball. And also I am working to be kinder and gentler to myself, so I knew taking a break was what I needed for my mental health.
And in full irony, after surviving that and making plans to get the wheels back onto the bus so I could get the bus back on the road, I was flattened by something that was not Covid (says three negative tests) but set me back on my behind nonetheless. Thankfully I am on the mend and ready to get back to work!
Today I am highlighting something I've been working on lately that could be a powerful tool in all our lives. It came from a conversation with my sweet friend, Jenny. I had texted one day telling her how I wished we were back together in Georgia, sitting at our favorite coffee shop in the little town we lived in, chatting about everything and nothing. She replied that we had no idea how special those moments were. And it got me thinking…
How often do we miss the magic moments of our lives? Perhaps we are just moving too fast, are distracted, or are not present enough in the moment to see the beauty in front of our eyes.
Please note: This is about more than gratitude. It is about presence and being fully where your feet are planted.
Take a listen to this episode, and then let's commit to being present with our people and in our lives!
If you are interested in hiring a coach and ready to make some changes in your life, please consider a free discovery call with me. You can find the scoop on my website: rscoachandstrategist.com
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In episode 44 of the podcast, we move on to part three of our Daily Rhythms series. Last week we focused our attention on editing our calendars to ensure what we're doing daily reflects who we are determined to be. Today we will focus on how to edit the pain points of your life because life is short, and we should enjoy as much of it as possible.
If you are ready to get off the hamster wheel of hustle so you can wake up your dreams and design a life where your time, energy, and resources are balanced and well-managed, then you are in the right place!
Today we will learn to evaluate, examine, and eliminate pain points in our lives. The truth is, if you want these things to go away, you have to be willing to do something different. Now is the time to make a change!
For too long we have been women moving through life on auto-pilot being pushed by the pace of life instead of being intentional about choosing each step. It is time we became women moving with clarity who run on purpose toward the lives we want to live.
Buckle up, buttercup, we are diving into our final episode in our Daily Rhythms series!
Head here to find the blog version of the episode.
If you are interested in hiring a coach and ready to make some changes in your life, please consider a free discovery call with me. You can find the scoop on my website: rscoachandstrategist.com
Follow me on:
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In episode 43 of the podcast, we move on to part two of our Daily Rhythms series. Last week we focused our attention on editing our life, primarily our physical space. Today we will focus on how to edit your calendar because our life is built on the choices we make with our time.
If you are ready to get off the hamster wheel of hustle so you can wake up your dreams and design a life where your time, energy, and resources are balanced and well-managed, then you are in the right place!
Together we will use awareness and alignment to put our time and energy where our dreams are.
For too long we have been women moving through life on auto-pilot being pushed by the pace of life instead of being intentional about choosing each step. It is time we became women moving with clarity who run on purpose toward the lives we want to live.
Buckle up, buttercup, we are diving into part two of our Daily Rhythms series!
Head here to find the blog version of the episode.
If you are interested in hiring a coach and ready to make some changes in your life, please consider a free discovery call with me. You can find the scoop on my website: rscoachandstrategist.com
Follow me on:
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Facebook: @Coming-Out-Gold-Podcast or @rscoachandstrategist
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In episode 42 of the podcast, we are starting a new series focused on daily rhythms. Over this three-part series, we will learn to make room in our lives for growth, determine how we want our life to look, and then eliminate anything that doesn’t align with the vision you create. Our first bite-sized foray into this will focus on how to edit your life.
It is time we all got off the hamster wheel of hustle so we can wake up our dreams and design a life where our time, energy, and resources are balanced and well-managed. We will follow a pattern where we:
Downsize
Donate
Delete
This will ensure you make room for what you want and determine how you want your future to look. Then you can eliminate anything that doesn’t align with this picture.
For too long we have been women moving through life on auto-pilot being pushed by the pace of life instead of being intentional about choosing each step. It is time we became women moving with clarity who run on purpose toward the lives we want to live.
Buckle up, buttercup, we are diving into part one of our Daily Rhythms series!
Head here to find the blog version of the episode.
If you are interested in hiring a coach and ready to make some changes in your life, please consider a free discovery call with me. You can find the scoop on my website: rscoachandstrategist.com
Follow me on:
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Welcome back, Lovie! thatI am thrilled to have you here with me today as we dive into this week's topic: tackling seasons of transition.
Question time: Are you someone who grabs a new book and flips to the last few pages to see how it ends before diving into chapter one? Or are you someone who just jumps in ready for whatever twists and turns the story brings? Or do you read basically the same book by different authors over and over so you know how it ends?
What I find about this pattern of being is that often we read books the same way we live. Some of us need to know how the story ends. Others like to drop anchor and stay in place while others jump in head first and lean into whatever life brings. Do you relate?
This time of year often brings transitions. Teachers are wrapping up summer vacation and heading back to the classroom. College kids are headed off to university leaving home for the first time and leaving parents empty nesters. Littles are entering new grades or heading off to kindergarten for the first time. Different sports start to kick off, and people start new hobbies and activities. Others are heading to a new job or starting a whole new life. Add to that the transitions we all face but none of us want - like death, divorce, and moving.
The truth is all of life is a transition. Waking/sleeping, morning/evening, working/playing...I could go on forever. We have to participate in transitions whether we want to or not. Because of this, I think it is time to normalize seasons of transition which involve us telling the truth.
In episode 41, we will learn to tackle transitions like a boss and establish guardrails in our lives to keep us on track and moving in the direction of our dreams.
Are you ready? I know I am!
Head here to find the blog version of the episode.
If you are interested in hiring a coach and ready to make some changes in your life, please consider a free discovery call with me. You can find the scoop on my website: rscoachandstrategist.com
Follow me on:
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Today I threw away the script and bullet points and decided to have a bit of a catch-up. I wanted to share where I am and what is coming up. I also wanted to request some help with a new series I want to do focused on friendships between women - the good, the bad, and the beautiful. Please listen through to the end to see how you can be part of this new series.
If you are interested in hiring a coach and ready to make some changes in your life, please consider a free discovery call with me. You can find the scoop on my website: rscoachandstrategist.com
Follow me on:
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I confess making decisions hasn’t been a life-long challenge for me. In truth, I have had to be a very decisive and swift decision maker in order to survive. That said, I have long struggled with making sure the ones I made were approved by those around me. As I have said before, mistakes in my life carried the weight of rejection, so I've always wanted to make the right ones. Add to that my trauma brain being a natural overthinker, and things can get messy. Over time I have tried several tactics to ensure I make the “right” decision. Recently though, I have stumbled upon a new framework that I believe could be a game-changer for anyone suffering from the stress of making decisions.
In today's episode I will share with you my CSI tactic which consists of:
- Capacity
- Stewardship
- Impact
If you evaluate your decisions through the filter of capacity, stewardship, and impact, you will find yourself saying yes to the things that propel you forward with intention in the direction you have decided you want to move.
Listen to this episode for details on how to be an epic CSI agent.
Head here to find the blog version of the episode.
If you are interested in hiring a coach and ready to make some changes in your life, please consider a free discovery call with me. You can find the scoop on my website: rscoachandstrategist.com
Follow me on:
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Facebook: @Coming-Out-Gold-Podcast or @rscoachandstrategist
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As a coach, I have been so blessed to work with a wide variety of women. My heart has ached with them as they navigate some incredibly challenging seasons. I’ve watched how having a weak posture brings challenges to their lives. The results of this posture have piled so deep that standing in their full power and strength seems impossible. Long seasons of poor posture have left them requiring some serious adjustments to straighten their spines, adjust their footing, and start moving with confidence from a place of power. Women cannot continue to drag around the sack of shoulds and expect to be able to have a strong, powerful posture. We must change this.
In today's episode, I am going to give you some tools to help you:
- Be aware of your posture and what is driving your choices.
- Check your alignment to ensure you are headed where you want to go by making decisions based on who you are becoming.
- Move from a place of strength by learning to extend your reach properly having planted your feet in what you value and reaching toward what you have decided you want.
If you are ready to be a confident woman able to move through life from a posture of power and strength, episode 38 is for you.
If you are interested in hiring a coach and ready to make some changes in your life, please consider a free discovery call with me. You can find the scoop on my website: rscoachandstrategist.com
Follow me on:
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There is a pandemic among women in the world beyond the one we all think of. The virus: a lack of confidence. I think that's because we are always chasing our do instead of our who. We focus on competence because we are trying to prove our worth when we should focus on our who we were created to be instead.
Most women express they have taken one too many hits to their confidence when the truth is they long to own who they are and who they aren’t. They want to feel confident in what they bring to the table.
They want to see themselves as strong, powerful, confident women able to withstand whatever life brings. They want to sit down the bag of lies this world has told them about how they don’t measure up. They want to start seeing themselves with clear, kind, loving eyes and share that reality with the world trusting it will embrace and welcome them.
It is time women started rebelling against systems that have long held them prisoner. It is up to us to stop following old narratives designed to keep us small and start kicking down prison doors so we can walk in our full authority.
Listen to episode 37 for some strategies on how to end the shame and step boldly into the world with confidence and strength.
Head here to find the blog version of the episode. And if you are interested in hiring a coach and ready to make some changes in your life, please consider a free discovery call with me. You can find the scoop on my website: rscoachandstrategist.com
Follow me on:
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In episode 36 we are talking about a way of being I believe is costing us our dreams, our goals, and our well-being - mentally, spiritually, and physically. We are diving into what I call the rhythm of rush. It’s a pattern women have long set for their lives, and I think it is time we slam on the brakes and become present in our stories.
If you are a woman feeling run ragged from rushing, then this episode is for you! If you are a woman ready to move with deliberate steps being present where your feet are planted, and fully aware of where you are walking, then this episode is for you.
Are you ready to have your time back?
Are you ready to rest without feeling guilty?
Are you ready to hand back some of the heavy expectations you've been asked to carry?
Do you want to slow down enough to enjoy the ordinary moments of life?
Take a listen to this episode for tips on how to end the rhythm of rush. As you work through learning to slow down you will learn things about yourself you didn’t take time to see during the frantic rush. Let those things inform you about ways to better control the pace of your life and give your soul what it needs.
Head here to find the blog version of the episode.
If you are interested in hiring a coach and ready to make some changes in your life, please consider a free discovery call with me. You can find the scoop on my website: rscoachandstrategist.com
Follow me on:
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Today is a real talk episode where I share something I am learning in the hopes that you, too, can benefit from it. The lessons stem from me beginning a new chapter working with a local not-fo-profit which is taking me outside my home office for the first time in over a decade. There have been some STRUGGLES!
First up is how surprised I was at my reaction to wearing shoes all day every day. (Who knew?!?!) Secondly, I am trying to figure out how all the beautiful souls who have worked outside their homes get things done - like laundry and cleaning. (It is a whole new journey for me!) And lastly, I am learning how to balance this beautiful new opportunity with my coaching business and podcast along with my life. In the lessons, I am reaching for new rhythms and processes while also practicing being patient with myself. I hope you will take a listen and find something to laugh at or contemplate for your own life. And if you have helpful tips, please send DM on my socials below. Your girl needs some help.
If you are interested in hiring a coach and ready to make some changes in your life, please consider a free discovery call with me. You can find the scoop on my website: rscoachandstrategist.com
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Have you ever had an interaction with another person where you are asked to participate in something they are passionate about? You are super excited to accept this opportunity. Yet somehow, you find this person has decided you offended them. Before you know it and without the courtesy of a conversation you find the offer to participate has been rescended, and you are left wondering what happened.
In today's episode of the podcast, I want to chat to you about a situation like this I experienced recently. I had so many feelings about it - seriously! To process them all, I decided to take my less-than-pleasant experience and turn it into a teachable moment for us all. Hopefully, in doing so, there will be some redemption. Fingers crossed.
Grab your favorite beverage and snack and settle in for some storytime, real talk, and a dash of raw honesty. May we all learn something from this conversation.
If you are interested in hiring a coach and ready to make some changes in your life, please consider a free discovery call with me. You can find the scoop on my website: rscoachandstrategist.com
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Have you ever read the book Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend? I feel certain I mentioned it in an early episode. I read it over a decade ago and it radically changed my life. One of the sections that have long stuck with me was a discussion on how we all wear backpacks full of boulders from different moments of our lives. Often though, there are boulders we carry that aren’t ours to carry. They could be some others handed us and asked us to hold. They could be things we took upon ourselves without even realizing it. Regardless of how they got into our backpack, many can be traced back to our origin stories so let’s talk about that.
Too many women feel burdened by the weight of twisted mindsets often rooted in their origin stories. They are held prisoner to these false narratives and keep repeating broken patterns. It’s time for us to be women ready to drop some boulders out of our backpacks so we can stand tall and proud, certain of who we are and what we bring to the world. If you're ready to drop the baggage and step into a new narrative, one where you are free to be yourself and chase your dreams instead of parroting the tired script that has held you prisoner far too long, then hopefully, this episode will provide some tools to help you work on this. Press play and dive in so you can start living a better story today!
If you are interested in hiring a coach and ready to make some changes in your life, please consider a free discovery call with me. You can find the scoop on my website: rscoachandstrategist.com
Head over to my website for a written version of the podcast here.
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Do you know that 1 in 3 women are afraid of spiders? Fear of flying, or Aerophobia, impacts an estimated 8 million. Acrophobia - fear of heights - affects over 20 MILLION people. On the heels of a pandemic, a host of other fears are presenting have increased in many around the world with nearly 60% of people polled saying fear of losing a loved one is their top fear. With all that said, I want to propose the idea that the biggest fears we face as women are not about external circumstances or situations.
I believe the biggest fears we have exist because of the enemies inside of us.
Our real enemy is the internal oppressor…that bully on the inside we allow to push us around. This bully tells us to keep playing small, reminding us of our perceived flaws and shortcomings. This enemy is rooted in the sack of shoulds we are handed along with the expectations others have of us.
We have to quit permitting ourselves to live a less-than-life. It's time to stop the false narratives and start breaking free. In today’s episode, we are going to do just that. Dive in and learn some strategies for spotting the enemies holding you back so you can go after the life you love!
Head here to find the blog version of the episode.
If you are interested in hiring a coach and ready to make some changes in your life, please consider a free discovery call with me. You can find the scoop on my website: rscoachandstrategist.com
Follow me on:
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Welcome back for Season Two of the Coming Out Gold podcast! I wish you could see the confetti cannons I am shooting right now! In this episode, we have a bit of a catch-up about what I was up to during the two-week hiatus. I also chat a bit about what is in store for season two. I am so excited you are here and look forward to another amazing season on this journey together!
If you are interested in hiring a coach and ready to make some changes in your life, please consider a free discovery call with me. You can find the scoop on my website: rscoachandstrategist.com
Follow me on:
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I can't believe we are here at the Season one finale! Seriously, the time has flown by and it has been an amazing ride. I am so thankful for every single one of you who listened. To show some appreciation I thought I would do a recap of the season.
I created this podcast for the woman who has walked through fires. My goal for each episode is to encourage, empower, and equip you so you can be the woman you were created to be before the world told you you weren't enough. You deserve to take what you've learned and begin making a way toward the life of your dreams. To recap the season, I share:
The top three episodes based on your feedback
The biggest lessons I've learned
What's next
And because I like a laugh more than the average girl, I had to end with a laugh. Enjoy some bloopers and laugh along with me as I show you a bit of the behind-the-scenes of what happens when I sit down before my mic, Selah. It is certainly never a dull moment!
I will be back the first Tuesday in June with the launch of Season Two! Until then, feel free to catch up on any episodes or blog posts you missed.
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Have you ever found yourself in a storm waiting for someone to ride to your rescue?
As a coach, I have encountered many women who believe the false narrative that they need someone to save them. This is natural given the patriarchal upbring most have experienced. Add to that the romanticized version of women being damsels in distress and it makes it hard to break this pattern. But the real truth is you deserve to be a woman who feels capable and equipped to handle whatever life throws your way.
Raise your hand if you are ready to:
- Feel empowered.
- Find answers to your questions so you can solve your own problems.
- Stand on your own two feet and feel confident handling whatever comes.
Women have been sold a romanticized version of life. We have long been portrayed as needing rescue. When life throws us challenges we wait for a knight in shining armor to ride up on a white horse and save us. Over time we internalize this messaging to the point that we feel incapable of rescuing ourselves. Thanks to our participation in Good Girl Syndrome that I spoke of in episode 28, most of us are lacking confidence in being able to handle things alone. We don’t even know we are abdicating our responsibilities. We simply believe this is the way it is for a woman in the world. It is wrong to press the pause button on your life as you wait on a partner to fulfill you. You deserve to chase your dreams regardless of your relationship status.
As a woman who has been single for over a decade now, I get the desire to have a partner. But as a woman who has done so much work, I fully own my life. I don’t need anyone to ride to my rescue. I am capable and responsible for being the Shero of my own story. And I know if I can develop the skills and resilience needed to save myself, you can do the same! I am here to show you a different option.
In this episode, I will give you a four-step plan to help you become the Shero of your own story. If you will work to build confidence, increase your skills, and take ownership of your life, you will become the Shero of your own life. Listen to this episode and then take action by following the plan outlined you will find you:
- Increase your confidence
- Gain new skillsets
- Feel empowered
- Make personal growth
- Inspire other women to do the same
- Earn your Shero cape
Don't spend another day frozen in place, waiting for someone else to handle your life. Stop believing the false narrative that you are not capable of being responsible for your life and begin to discover the power you have to resolve them. It is time you see you don’t need anyone’s permission to live the life of your dreams.
Head here to find the blog version of this episode.
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Have you ever found yourself doing something without really understanding why you are doing it - especially if it is something you don't want to do?
It isn't unusual to find ourselves women driven by a narrative that tells us who we have to be and how we have to move. We have unknowingly been held prisoner to something I call Good Girl Syndrome. But I believe most of us would prefer to be women who write their own stories based on what we want and value.
Does this resonate? Do you want to stop being driven by the laundry list of what others define as “good”? Then it is time to start deconstructing old narratives and beliefs to see where your truth lives so you can write a new story where shame avoidance isn’t a driving factor for behavior.
Many of the women I have worked with have come to realize they live their lives based on this unspoken or internalized set of rules. They aren’t even conscious of how much this “Good Girl Syndrome” is controlling their lives. When they recognize it, a fire begins to burn within them. Together we work to suss out all these areas rooted in this Good Girl Syndrome narrative.
We spend time listening for the inner voice spouting the good girl narrative. You know, the one that tells you you must keep up appearances so everyone knows you are indeed a "good girl". Sadly though, this cycle leaves us hyper-aware of feeling shame and needing to avoid feeling more of it thus creating the rinse and repeat cycle of good girl syndrome. It is wrong to have your life controlled by shame and a set of rules someone gave you without your permission. It is time for you to deconstruct the Good Girl syndrome you have lived with and build a world where you shrug off shame, define your own life rules, and write a narrative where you choose what kind of woman you want to be.
In this episode, I will share some tips to help you deconstruct this hidden narrative. If you follow this process, you will become aware of areas where your choices are based on good girl syndrome. Once you are aware, you can write a new narrative - one where you make the rules for living your own story.
If you apply this process consistently, you will:
- Put an end to Good Girl Syndrome
- Gain an understanding of why you do what you do
- Become clear on how you want to move
- Make choices that align with who you choose to be
- Move forward writing your own narrative
Listen to the episode, and let's start identifying times when we are being
“good girls” instead of following our own intuition and aligning with our core values.
Head here to find the blog version of the episode.
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DISCLAIMER: I accidentally recorded this with the wrong mic setting. Forgive the weird sound!
Are you ready to make some big changes in your life? In today's episode, I am sharing the three steps needed for every transformation regardless of its scope and scale. Have you ever felt stuck in some area of your life? Perhaps it was a job or a relationship. Maybe it was an unhealthy habit you have wanted to break.
Many women share they feel stuck in areas of life. They do not know how to make the changes needed. There is a yearning to be certain of the path forward but they question if they have the tools needed to get there. I help you unpack that today. If you want to be alive in your story, know with certainty where you're heading, these tools can help you feel confident about the steps to take to get there. It is time to stop using excuses like busyness, responsibilities, or exhaustion - even if those are all true. The truth is no one should spend their one beautiful life too busy to chase their dreams, so get ready to take back your power and transform your life!
Many of the clients I have worked with are simply worn down by their lives. Boundaries have been breached, calendars have overflowed, and the space for dreaming has been consumed. They come to me with feelings like defeat and shame. As we begin to work together they find chaos abate as order is restored. We create pockets of margin, so they have time and space to rest, exhale, and build awareness. Over time the vision and dreams for their life begin to crystalize. This brings a wave of energy creating momentum, and their days begin with excitement as they move toward their dreams.
As I mentioned last week, there have been seasons in my life when busyness was my Medal of Honor. It kept me running from myself and allowed me to ignore the half-life I was living. I compromised much of myself in an effort to cling to the bits of life I had. But a half-life isn’t living, and I don’t want to see another woman accepting less than the full life of beauty they deserve. If I can find my way back to the light, back to life, and craft a new vision for myself, you can, too, lovie.
To get us there, we are going through a three-step process where you will learn to: Be encouraged Be empowered Be equipped If you allow yourself to be encouraged, you will begin feeling empowered. Once you are empowered, you can work to equip yourself for the next phase in the journey to your ideal life. Then before you know it, areas of your life are beginning to transform.
Listen to the podcast. Seek out these three things. Then hire a coach to help ensure you get there.
If you will follow this plan, you will:
Find hope and courage
Build confidence
Gain clarity
Learn to trust yourself
Create a vision for your future
Build a strategy for success
Head here to find the blog version of the episode.
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Where are you on your tolerance scale of clutter?
Do you believe everyone has a junk drawer, or no one should have one?
Do you dream of a house that looks like it fell out of the pages of Conde Nast?
Do you dread having people drop by because you have some shame about the state of your physical environment?
Living in an environment where clutter and a lack of organization are in control is common for many women. It is even more common following pandemic life.
In this episode, we are tackling physical clutter and looking at how it indicates clutter in your mind. I hope to prove how bringing your external environment into order allows you to address inner obstacles that are in your way
Clutter and chaos in our physical spaces indicate we may be wearing blinders to what the clutter is covering. Disorder and chaos in your environments could leave you with an inability to see the truth of what is going on because you are focused on the clutter. It is wrong to live with blinders on because it prevents you from addressing the real issues undermining your life.
Many of the women I have worked with have had some type of physical clutter in their environments. Without fail a tsunami of awareness floods in when we begin to address the environmental roadblock. Before they even are aware, they see the stuff was simply covering up a heart issue they weren’t dealing with. The stuff became a physical representation of the internal struggles. But when addressed and given space to gain awareness, the issue they had been avoiding was so much smaller than they made it within their false narrative.
I come from a long line of pilers. As a young person, I was so messy. There was no order to my space. Occasionally I would go on a rampage and hyper-organize all the things. Naturally, this wasn’t sustainable because the clutter in my physical space was simply a representation of my inner chaos. If I can learn to break this pattern by addressing the root of the chaos, you can do the same by following the same steps. Today I will walk you through the process I use with clients.
If you will trust yourself to be strong enough to tackle areas in need of healing, you will learn a new way of being that tastes like freedom and feels like home. You will create:
- A physical environment that brings peace and invites growth
- A mental awareness of areas needing attention
- A new-found courage to spot old roots and pull them out
- A path toward your wholeness
Let me help you see places that, if given your attention, will greatly improve your life. You can do this one step at a time. And we can do it together.
Head here to find the blog version of the episode.
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According to an article from Harvard Business Review, confirmation bias is the human tendency to search for, favor, and use information that confirms one's pre-existing views on a certain topic. It goes by other names, as well: cherry-picking, my-side bias, or just insisting on doing whatever it takes to win an argument.
In my work, I have found that most women are quick to point out their flaws and failings with harsh judgment. We weaponize confirmation bias against ourselves by only searching for evidence of what we lack or have failed out. We need to learn to be women who see ourselves clearly and fairly, women who accept areas needing work without judgment and celebrate our beauty and goodness with humble confidence.
A villain is fighting us, and self-judgment is the weapon used. The noises of the world are constantly telling us we don’t measure up. Then we hold a 10X magnifier to our flaws and can barely spot our magic even if we used binoculars. It is unfair to continue to paint ourselves with such a skewed perception.
Many of the clients I work with have a challenge we discover is rooted in an identity problem. They have spent so long writing false narratives they have lost the ability to see the truth of who they are now. I spent years living under the false narrative trauma created. It was a real challenge to find anything I found good about myself. If I can learn to rewrite my narrative after decades of this, you can do the same in your life.
I want to help you develop the ability to see clearly and without judgment so you can make decisions with clarity and ease. In today's episode, I will offer a simple plan to help you learn to break this pattern so you can learn to tell yourself the truth. Here are the three steps we will use to start telling ourselves the truth.
- Tell the truth in equal measure
- Look for evidence, not opinions
- Keep a list of proof of these truths
Follow this plan, and you will learn how to allow yourself to be aware and impartial. You will also find evidence that proves your inherent value which will change how you approach your life. In addition, you will:
- Learn to be less judgmental toward yourself
- Open your eyes to see new narratives
- Become confident in your strengths
- Create a bank of evidence for future challenges
Confirmation bias is often used to drive our decided narrative forward. It trains us to tell ourselves lies. When we learn to train our brain to tell the truth - the good, bad, and ugly truth - we can begin to live with clarity and break free from the false narratives that have had us playing small.
Don't forget to the 10% discount off any six month coaching packages through April to celebrate my birthday! Listen to the episode for details.
Head here to find the blog version of the episode containing the free download for your free I Am Journal.
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Have you ever felt frozen in place by fear? Has it ever kept you from going after something you want or trying something new? Most of us have experienced this. But I believe the truth is we want to be women who acknowledge fear and press forward anyway. We long to be women who aren't held back in any way because we are free from the prison fear keeps us locked in. It is time to recognize how brave we are by stepping forward despite fear to go after the lives we love. Get ready to kick fear in the teeth and do the thing fear has kept us from for far too long.
Many of the women I have walked with have been held prisoner by fear. They have allowed it to keep them small, safely tucked in a comfort zone even as their soul longed for something new. Fear is real. The voices in our minds can get noisy, and they often take a grain of truth and inflate it to an epic size that we can’t see a way around. But there is a way forward.
We are going to do this in a three-step process:
- Acknowledge what it is you fear
- Consider the root or origin of this emotion
- Take a breath and then ACT by making a small step toward where you want to move
ACT on these three steps and you will learn to face the fear and move forward anyway so you are never held prisoner to fear again.
Select one area where you know fear exists and examine it. Just state what is true without judgment. Choose one thing you can do this week to face fear and move forward anyway.
By taking these actions you will:
- Minimize emotional reactions by learning not to judge yourself for having them
- Find a strength you never knew you had
- Build confidence in your ability to do hard things
- Heal broken places where you had abandoned your dreams and parts of your soul
- Walk a new path that will lead you home to yourself
By continuing to be a prisoner of fear you will:
- Stay hidden
- Fail to grow and thrive
- Keep going around the same mountain
If you need help, please reach out. I can help you face your fears so you can go after the life you want. My coaching program addresses this challenge and helps create a strategy tailor-made for you and your specific needs. You can also download the free plan I made for you at the link below.
Head here to find the blog version of the episode containing the free download for your plan to defeat fear.
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Welcome back for episode 23 of the Coming Out Gold Podcast, Lovie! Today we are tackling the subject of gratitude. Many of us focus on this topic around Thanksgiving and the holidays. I am here to help us see if we would practice it daily our attitude will change. This will lead to a change in our perspective on the seasons we walk through.
Many women are so mired in the mundane we miss the beautiful moments within them. It's time we become women who see the magic of ordinary days by focusing on ways to be grateful even in the challenging, messy, and difficult moments. We want to be fully alive and present in our lives. Gratitude helps us do that.
The monotony of survival is a roadblock toward practicing gratitude. Most of us are too busy to be present in the everyday moments. Our minds are so focused on what’s next, we can’t take in the beauty of each moment. It is wrong to not practice gratitude for the one beautiful life you are living.
I understand what it is like to be so entrenched in the stress and monotony of every day the heaviness of responsibilities leaves little margin for practicing gratitude. It is hard to chase gratitude when you are busy chasing your tail.
In this episode I will offer this simple process for chasing gratitude:
- Bookend your day with gratitude. Begin every day with gratitude. End each day with gratitude.
- Whenever you feel frustrated or annoyed, stop and find something to be grateful for. It will shift your attitude.
Follow these simple steps to chase down gratitude and find more joy in your life. They will:
- Improve your attitude
- Equip you to find blessings in the broken
- Train your eye to seek light in the darkness
- Acknowledge the good work you have done each day
- Cement positive memories in your mind so you can recall them later
Without chasing gratitude, you may:
- Focus on the problem more than the lesson
- Miss the moment of light in hard seasons
- Get lost in the doldrums of each day
I can teach you to find gratitude in every season so you keep your focus is on possibilities and off scarcity. Trust me: this is NOT about toxic positivity. It is about acknowledging reality AND ALSO choosing to be grateful no matter the situation. Be sure to grab the free daily journal download at the link below so you can get started chasing gratitude today.
Head here to find the blog version of the episode containing the free gratitude journal download.
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Have you heard the saying "practice makes perfect?" I think there with posters with this quote hanging in most classrooms growing up. In today's episode, we are going to debunk that epic myth, because practice doesn't make perfect. PRACTICE MAKES PROGRESS.
Many women are so afraid to fail they never try. Worst yet they use perfection as an excuse to not take a step of faith in the direction of her dreams. I am here to tell you it is time to stop living by this lie and start feeling confident in your gifts. It is time to be willing to take a chance on your dreams with no excuses and no need to seek perfection. It is possible to feel confident to move in the direction of your dreams instead of seeking perfection. You can stop chasing the approval of what others think and instead focus on running your race.
As a trauma survivor, one of the coping skills I put in place to survive was perfection. Anything less than perfect brought criticism, and no matter how hard I tried, it never seemed to measure up. I never seemed to measure up. So I quit trying unless I knew it would be perfect. But perfect is a lie. By showing up, staying in the arena, practicing CPR (consistent, persistent, resilience) I learned to make progress. If I can break that pattern, you can, too. And there is nothing more beautifully brave as a woman who keeps getting back up, showing up for herself and those watching, and presses on. I will take that woman over a filtered facade of a perfect woman any day, because the woman who gets up and stays in the fight, she's the kind of woman I want to be friends with. She the kind of woman I will stand beside and fight for any day of the week.
You can practice making progress in three steps:
- Show up
- Stay in the arena
- Practice CPR (consistent, persistent, resilience)
Follow these steps in every area of your life and you will make progress in the direction of your dreams:
- Become unstoppable
- Develop resilience
- Create a never-give-up attitude
- Live by the mantra that they have on Cheer - “I can. I will. I must.”
- Begin to see progress in the direction of your dreams
- Watch the metamorphosis of yourself blooming into the fullness of who you were created to be
Head here to find the blog version of the episode containing the free download of a quote to help you remember to practice making progress.
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I am so excited to chat about this week’s topic. Seriously. If I had a megaphone, I would shout it out to the world because I am so passionate about women living to their full potential, and I want that for every woman because I truly believe it will make our world a better place. My big goal today is to equip you with tools to anchor yourself to what matters most so your life has a clear direction. This is about learning how to stop floating through life so you can live an intentional story. Buckle up buttercup, because we are diving in!
Have you ever been out on a boat? If you go out and drop anchor, the boat stays in place. You can jump off, do some snorkeling, have a swim, whatever, and the boat stays in place. But if you take that boat out, jump off to do some snorkeling, and have a swim WITHOUT dropping the anchor, the boat is not going to be where you left it. This is very dangerous. Well, so is living life without being anchored to the things you say matter most.
Too many women are anchored to the monotony of adulting when we should be women living with intention and purpose. They want their lives to matter and their days to have a purpose, but this is challenging. There are too many responsibilities, and many lack healthy boundaries. There seems to be this feeling that what we are doing isn’t enough, that we are not enough. It is wrong to work so hard without getting closer to your dreams.
Many women have shared how they feel like they're living life on auto-pilot instead of being alive in their own story. No one wants to feel like they are sleepwalking through their life. This is not really living, and they deserve so much better. I lived far too many years of life floating through my days, fighting to survive with little hope of ever learning to thrive. It was a bit like sleepwalking or maybe even a walking zombie. If I can come through the blazing fires I have walked through and learn to plan a life of intention and purpose, you can, too.
Listen to today's episode and follow these simple steps to drop anchor, set a course, and live your life with intention and purpose so you can:
- Understand what you value most
- Set healthy boundaries around your time and energy to ensure you stay in alignment with those values
- Have clarity around the direction of your life
- Create a life plan that will move you toward your dreams
- Live your days with purpose and direction
You deserve to live a life full of purpose and with a clear direction. And you CAN live a life full of purpose and with clear direction. I can help you anchor yourself to what matters most. Be sure to grab my free Active Core Values mini-course at the link below so you can start living your life with intention today.
Head here to find the blog version of the episode containing the free download for defining your Active Core Values.
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Today we are going to tackle the subject of comfort zones and if you are following my podcast page on social media (those links are in the show notes for you) then you will have seen that I am keeping the promise I made in the last episode. I am showing up each day with a face-to-camera video chatting for about 5 minutes on a random topic. This was something I challenged myself to do to force myself out from hiding and into the light. It has certainly been a mountain-size leap from my comfort zone. But can I tell you something? The wins I have gotten far outweigh the hives doing it brought! So as I chat today about comfort zones trust that I and my hives are coming from a place of soul-deep experience.
Now in Tammy Terms, I say comfort zones are imposters. They create a false sense of safety wooing us to stay forever because it is easy. I believe that if we stay their too long comfort zones lead to complacency. Complacency leads to apathy. Apathy leads to hopelessness, and it is a rapid downhill slide from there! Personally, I believe the root of comfort zones often goes back to the shoulds we have unknowingly been carrying on our backs. It is easier to stay toeing the line we were told to toe than it is dropping the line and jumping into something unknown.
Far too many of us have set up housekeeping inside comfort zones. These areas may have served a purpose at one point, but one day we wake up and realize they are suffocating us. We want to feel safe and we also have a desire deep in our souls to live the life we dream of living. These two things can rarely cohabitate. This is why we must step out of them! We need to stand up as women, confident in our strength and power so we are capable of stepping into the unknown adventures in pursuit of a life that matters and aligns with our values. We need to press past the walls of comfort into the freedom that awaits us on the others side of that brave first step.
I want to offer you a simple way to do this. This process will help you close the gap between your comfort zone and your ideal life…and it will do it in a way that is manageable for you no matter your season. Remember, the key to lasting change rests on the simplicity to maintain it so mind let me teach you how to mind the GAP
Head here to find the blog version of the episode containing the free download for closing the gap between your comfort zones and your ideal life.
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Hey Lovie! Welcome to today’s episode of the Coming Out Gold Podcast. I am so excited you are here. I believe by showing up you are a woman ready to make some changes in your life. Ready to shake off the shoulds and start going after your dreams. If I am right in that, then you are at the PERFECT PLACE. Pull up a chair and take your seat at the table because today we are tackling something called sunk energy. This term is new to me, but I have lived it more times than I can count. I believe you are going to recognize it as well so let's dig in.
If you feel like you are pouring time and energy into relationships and situations that aren’t making life better, this episode might help you out so you can be a woman pouring time and energy into relationships and activities that bring more energy, are purpose-filled, and with healthy boundaries.
I believe women want to invest in what they value. They want to invest in relationships with people they love and champion. They want to BE loved and championed. They want a life spent pouring out their gifts into the world to make it a better place - for themselves, their people, and the world. They want to matter and they want what they do to matter. There aren’t enough hours in the day to get it all done to sink more into areas not bearing fruit. It is wrong to stay stuck in an unhealthy circumstance or relationship based solely on the fact that you’ve already invested so much time and energy.
Here's what I am sure of: If I can walk away from a 20-year marriage and come out the other side more sure of who I am and what I deserve, you can walk away from whatever it is you have sunk energy into that you know isn’t bearing fruit. And you will be better, stronger, and more powerful than you can even imagine.
We can do this in three simple steps:
- Spend time evaluating relationships and circumstances in your life where you are investing time and energy.
- Be honest with yourself when determining if there are somewhere your time and energy aren’t yielding anything.
- Make a plan for extracting yourself from that situation.
Follow these three steps and begin taking back your time and energy so you can move towards a life you love.
Listen to today's episode and be willing to ask yourself some hard questions. I created a free pdf of questions for you to use to do this.
You can be a woman who pours time and energy into relationships and activities that bring more energy, are purpose-filled, and have healthy boundaries. I can help you get clear on where it is you want to go and create a plan for moving forward so you can begin investing time and energy in what you say matters most. DM me with your thoughts! I look forward to hearing from you.
Head here to find the blog version of the episode containing the free download for defining your purpose and passion.
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Are you a woman who feels like an imposter in her own story, constantly afraid of being “found out"?
Have you fallen victim to what this world calls imposter syndrome?
Are you ready to be a woman sure of herself, her gifts, and the role she plays in her story?
If you're ready to stop questioning yourself and your value, to stop running from the “not enough” and "who do you think you are” voices inside your head so she can put one foot in front of the other in the direction of the life she wants.
This topic has come up in so many conversations lately, and I have heard so many women speaking on the feelings of imposter syndrome. It is a bit of a buzzword right now in the self-improvement arena and may be as common as breathing in women. In my work as a coach specializing in identity and purpose coaching, I have come to recognize this as a pervasive problem among women. As we begin to understand our true identity and get to know the woman we were designed to be, we learn to see this with a different lens. This allows us to address the emotions and make a plan to dispel them.
Here is the three-step plan:
- Acknowledge these feelings wherever they pop up
- Understand the root cause
- Speak truth to the lie.
Follow these three steps to find freedom from what’s holding you back so you can share your gifts with the world. Then you will find success in these areas:
- Stop doubting your seat at the table
- Increase your confidence
- Gain clarity around decision making
- Have a clear direction for forward momentum
- Learn to trust yourself
- Embrace imperfection as part of life
- Know and use your gifts
Today you can put an end to imposter syndrome!
Head here to find the blog version of the episode containing the free download for defining your purpose and passion.
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I always want to be transparent with you and it is important for me to be 100% real. Not for one second would I want to pretend that all is perfect in my world and I have it all together. That’s just not true…not of anyone actually.
This past week I spent time outlining several future episodes while also taking a class on speaking. I spent so much time at my desk and in pouring out all the words I think my Fitbit gave up and quit notifying to move my body. I also found myself a bit run down … okay, maybe I felt like I was run over if I am being honest. 2022 has not been kind to me as I have faced loss and illness and challenge upon challenge. My anxiety and stress have been next level! I have been trying to press on…reminding myself of my CPR method of consistent, persistent, resiliency. I have been practicing it faithfully. But after a holy come-apart or 20, I realized I had to stop and honor what my mind, body, and soul needed before I found myself in a place where that choice was taken away. I truly believe if we don’t listen to what our body and souls need eventually we will experience a total meltdown and will find ourselves laid flat on our backs so we are forced to give it time to heal.
In today’s episode, I want to invite you into the conversation in the hopes that you will give yourself permission to honor what you mind, body, and soul need. I hope you will reach out to someone you know who is going through it. And I hope you will find hope that winter will end and Spring will burst in full of life.
You are loved. Always.
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Have you ever felt controlled by the needs and emotions of others?
Do you long to be a woman who honors her values and communicates your needs clearly and kindly?
You CAN be accepted for who you are. You CAN ensure you are in relationships when your needs matter. Your values CAN become guiding lights in your life. Your relationships CAN increase your energy and improve the narrative of your life. And you can do this by setting healthy boundaries in every area of your life.
Too many move through life with unhealthy boundaries. The needs of others are constantly clamoring for attention leaving their energy and time drained by the all-consuming needs of others. We can’t continue to give away what we need while others take and take and take to have what they need.
I’ve spent most of my life believing that if I met the needs of others they would love me and never leave me. I poured out all of my soul, time, and energy into what others demanded from me. It became a mutually manipulative game that ended in disaster. Please benefit from my experience and make a choice to create healthy boundaries now so you don’t follow in my steps. Thanks to therapy, loving friends, and a lot of hard work I have learned to practice healthy boundaries. There is a simple process for doing this that you can follow as well. It isn’t easy, but it is simple, and it will radically change how you move through life.
Here is the plan:
- Define your values
- Establish your boundaries
- Honor and protect your boundaries
If you follow this plan, you will begin to establish and communicate healthy boundaries in all areas of your life. This will free up an incredible amount of energy and time you can use to chase your dreams. Listen to this episode and download the free tool a the link below and start setting healthy boundaries today.
Doing so will provide:
- More compassion and empathy
- Increased confidence and assertiveness
- Reduced angst, anger, and resentment
- Restored time and energy to go after your dreams
- Blossoming self-respect
- Less conflict, anxiety, and stress
- Experiencing joy by living your values
Stop being held captive to the needs and desires of others and give your best to create your dreams.
Head here to find the blog version of the episode containing the free guide to help you set healthy boundaries!
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Are you a woman who is feeling frustrated with her life and business or career?
Are you ready to be a woman with a clear identity and a well-defined path forward to the life of her dreams?
I believe you want to love the life you're in and the one you're building. You want to jump out of bed each day full of energy and excitement for what’s to come. Even the challenges are welcomed because they are simply another step in the direction of your dreams.
Life can become a groundhogs day surviving one day to the next which leaves you feeling defeated. It can feel as if life is passing you by. It is wrong to feel exhausted by your one beautiful life because it has gotten hi-jacked by dream-killing responsibilities and soul-sucking, dead-end jobs
After having my life implode I had no choice but to focus on surviving from one day to the next. I worked as many as three jobs at a time to make ends meet. I poured my soul into jobs that left no room for my own dreams and I couldn’t see a way out of that cycle. I endured intense fires but I didn’t let them consume me. I persisted and came out the other side. Now I help other women learn to do the same. Together we can step past limiting beliefs and the broken bits of our stories to rise up from the ashes in power and strength ready to keep moving towards our goals.
Working with a coach may be simpler than you think. Here is the lowdown:
- Book a discovery call
- Hire a coach that meets your needs
- Be committed to doing the work and get ready for transformation!
Follow this path to find the perfect coach for you, work together to create a clear path forward, and do the work so you can get off the frustration train and soar to new levels. I suggest you listen to this podcast. Then head to my website to book a discovery call. We can see if we are a good fit and get started living a better story.
By working with a coach you should:
- move toward the life you want
- Recognize areas where you have challenges and create pathways to get past them
- Raise your expectations for the possibilities your life can hold
- Stop playing small and start thriving
- Learn to manage your energy, time, and resources
- Kick self-doubt to the curb and use your superpowers to change the world
- Debunk limiting beliefs and shift mindsets
- Become the hero of your story
I believe you are worth this investment.
Head here to find the blog version of the episode and here is the link to book a discovery call. I hope to talk with you soon!
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Do you dream of being free? Free to move forward, to trust yourself, to take chances, and try new things?
Too many women are held prisoner by fear to the point they stay within their comfort zone and never chase the dreams of their hearts. This isn't necessary. You can be a woman brave enough to let fear exist without allowing it to impede your desire to live your best life because the truth is you can survive anything life throws your way.
Fear is a roadblock to our dreams. Yes, the reality is you might not know everything needed to chase a particular dream. This is a natural part of growth and learning and being a beginner. In addition, you have been served messages rooted in what you CAN'T do and you've been taught to believe them. But the truth is, it is wrong to hold yourself back because you are scared of the unknown.
I am here to offer and new way! Through my journey, I have learned to combat fear in a way that anyone can apply to their journey. It makes you the captain of your story so you can step into the life you were designed to live. And I believe you are ready to be free and live your best life!
In this episode you will learn to:
- Be aware of fear when it comes up
- Take a judgment-free look at the root of the emotion to better understand it
- Create a path THROUGH the fear so you move to the next level
- Follow this simple plan to push past fear and combat it each time it appears so it never stops you from living into your best self ever again
- Create an evidence board to serve as a reminder of what an amazing job you are doing
And be sure to download the free pdf I made to help you do this. You can find it at the link below.
When implemented, this plan will teach you how to:
- Defeat fear
- Overcome obstacles
- Feel more confident and capable
- Start telling yourself you can do hard things
- Be free to acknowledge any fear and push past it quickly
- Learn to be comfortable with being uncomfortable
Don't stay paralyzed and miss out on the life of your dreams. Don't live in fear instead of with purpose and passion. Don't keep living the lie that you can’t go after your dreams because YOU CAN!!!!
Head here to find the blog version of the episode containing the free download for defining your purpose and passion.
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Are you a woman who wants to feel in control of her time and calendar so you can make progress in the direction of your dreams?
Do you feel as if there aren’t enough hours in the day to tackle your never-ending to-do list?
Are you tired of focusing on the urgent and not having time to focus on what matters most to you?
Lovie, it’s so wrong to get to the end of the day feeling like you failed to accomplish what you wanted to do…what your soul longs for.
Many of the women I have worked with have expressed feeling like there isn’t enough time in the day to get it all done. It is so disheartening to live in a perpetual state of exhaustion. I used to be the poster child for over-scheduling and trying to cram too much into a day, but since creating a unique system to manage my time, tasks, and energy, I have a clear path through each day. Now I can end the day feeling accomplished instead of exhausted. This system is simple enough for anyone in any season to adapt to their own needs.
Assuming you already tackled goal setting as we chatted about in the last episode, you should be ready to tackle your time by doing the following:
List all the tasks you do daily
Ask yourself if you do them because you can, you should, or you want to do them
Categorize each task into like actions
Create your ideal schedule
Time block your day to maximize productivity and minimize wasted energy
After listening to this episode, set aside 30 minutes to tackle these steps. Be sure to download the freebie I made to help walk you thru the process at the link below. And please be certain you snap a pic and tag me on social media, so I can check in to see how you are doing!
If you implement this system, you will be able to:
manage your time and energy, not vise versa
define success benchmarks for each day
create a flow for your day that maximizes your energy and makes you more efficient.
set yourself up for success
build margin into your day to account for life so you aren’t stressed when challenges occur
There is no reason to continue being managed by your calendar. Stop the exhaustion caused by the constant hustle and move towards the place you dream of being. Follow this system and you can move from being a woman so exhausted by life, she wants to throw in the towel to become a woman in control of her time and calendar so she maximizes her energy and achieves her dreams.
Manage your time; don't let it manage you.
Head here to find the blog version of the episode containing the free download for defining your purpose and passion.
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A resolution is simply a firm decision to do or not do something. It leads to white-knuckle living and requires us to hope and pray willpower shows up in hyperdrive. Unfortunately, for most of us, willpower is a bit wishy-washy. Think about a professional athlete. Numerous children grow up wanting to be one, yet very few get there. Their will to compete at this level is not enough to get them there. A strategic, tactical coaching program is what helps move them closer to the dream becoming a reality.
What leads to actual change that is sustainable and reasonable is goal setting. Goals don’t require the fickle bedfellow willpower to roll in. When done correctly, goals are full of actionable, measurable, tactical steps. They have a beginning and end. They require us to set up systems and processes that take us step by imperfect baby step in the direction of our desired result. They are made with a willingness to make different choices and an awareness of the sacrifices required to see something to come to pass. Goals have more depth than resolutions, and I think that makes them easier to achieve.
Listen to today's episode for the inside scoop on how you can do goals differently in the new year and in a way that will lead to success time and again.
Head here to find the blog version of the episode containing the free download for defining your purpose and passion.
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I almost called this episode "the podcast that almost wasn't". I really hadn’t planned on having an episode this week because, well, #life. But the day before episode 11 was scheduled to go live, inspiration struck and I recorded this episode. It is another in the Real Talk with Coach Tammy and in it, I pull back the veil to give you some insight into me and my latest ride on the struggle bus. I also share my plans for 2022 and how I am tracking my tasks. It is shorter than normal and hopefully is a quick and enjoyable listen. I will be back next week talking about some tactical ways to find success in 2022. I hope you come back then.
In the meantime, please follow me on social media and reach out if you are interested in having me coach you one-on-one. If you want to join my PROMOS course, shoot me a DM and we will work it out!
Until next week, remember, I am in it WITH you, always,
Coach Tammy
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If I could teach you a system that would help you unearth your true identity, walk in the fullness of who you were created to be by dreaming big dreams, and help you create a game plan for moving in the direction of your dreams, would you be willing to spend an hour a week with me working on this?
We can’t continue getting to the end of a calendar year feeling like we failed to meet the expectations we had set for ourselves. I know that far too many of my coaching clients have struggled with feeling as if there aren’t enough hours in the day to get it all done much less get it done well. This is no way to live! Who wants to feel like they are failing when they are putting the bulk of the hours in the day giving attention to a laundry list of things??
After walking through so many fires and helping other women do the same, I knew I had to create something focused on resolving the same three challenges I kept hearing: lack of energy, lack of time, and lack of resources. Those who have beta tested this system say it provides a new way to navigate life. Women are coming out the other side more confident and purpose-filled with an arsenal of tools to build a path forward so that when the ending credits roll on their lives, they are on their feet celebrating at the top of their lungs.
I have seen first-hand the transformative growth this system can bring by helping you design a life overflowing with the clarity and energy needed to chase down your dreams! When implemented, this will become a rhythm by which your days flow. You will design a custom daily practice to create momentum to move you towards your ideal life. And that is what every woman deserves.
My PROMOS system has two distinct parts: goal setting and task management AND time and energy management. In part one, you will define your life buckets, dream some big dreams, and then reverse engineer them, so you have a path to get from where you are now to where you want to be. In part two, you will create your ideal schedule, outline projects and prioritize project tasks, plus create daily rhythms.
I can’t promise you that if you go through and implement my system you will wake up with a bank account like Warren Buffet, fit into your high school jeans hidden in the back of your closet, or that all of your worries will melt away. But I can say if you implement this program, you will spend your days taking inspired action and seeing your life transform as a result. You will design new rhythms for managing your energy, time, and resources to build momentum that pushes you towards your dreams. And you will be able to prioritize your schedule around what matters most to you because the reality is, if you don’t prioritize your time and manage your energy, someone else will.
Submit your Coming Out Gold stories to info@RSCoachandStrategist.com
Head here to find the blog version of the episode and the link to the course details.
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Today we are tackling a lie that has been unknowingly controlling many women, and this is the belief that we need permission to transform our lives.
Many women I have worked with have struggled to believe they can set aside the time and energy needed to pour into their dreams. As women, we're trained that focusing on our needs is selfish, and I am here to throw a flag on that. Taking care of ourselves makes us better prepared to care for those we love, our work, and all other aspects of our lives. For several years I believed I lacked the margin to spend energy, time, or resources chasing my dreams. Whenever I made a move to do so, the guilt monster would come roaring in, and I would back away. But after doing my work, I realized I MUST take ownership over how my story unfolds even as I navigate circumstances beyond my control. And this means I have to stop apologizing for taking up space in this world. Does this feel familiar to you?
I think it is time we all started giving ourselves permission to change...to become the women we want to be so we can show up in the world in a way that aligns with our values and what matters most to us.
Did you know that permission slips were designed for minors or people unable to make competent decisions legally? They weren't designed to be needed by grown women.
Think about it: Who are you asking to sign your permission slip so you can do what it is you want to do? And why on earth do they hold authority over you in that way? I am serious. This is a question you need to be asking yourself every single time you hesitate to do something you want to do. And because this is rooted in needing approval from someone, I would challenge you to remember that no one else has to understand the vision you have for your life. Only you know what is best for you. And no matter how important the other person is to you, they can’t understand everything you do because they aren't inside your head.
Instead of thinking of permission slips traditionally, I want to offer a new lens for the idea of you needing permission. What if, moving forward, the concept of permission meant unapologetic action? If we implement what we have learned here, we know that awareness plus alignment leads to integrity. If we define and live by a set of active core values, they are the guiding force behind making aligned decisions to ensure we live in integrity. See, our journey is so much bigger than us, and we are all meant to leave this world a better place than we found it. But that begins by us making choices aligned with what we value. If we are moving through life using these steps to filter our decisions, then there is no room for us to need permission from someone else. We can simply take confident, unapologetic action in the direction of our dreams because we know that they are right for us. And isn’t that a much better way to live?
In this episode, we are going to take three steps to create freedom so we can transform our lives. Listen to hear me explain these and then be sure to head to the blog version for a recap along with a free download to help you take strategic steps to do this in your life today.
Head here to find the blog version of the episode containing the free download.
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Have you ever been in a car where the wheels are out of alignment? Sure, you can hop in the car and drive to wherever you need to go, but it is going to pull left or right and is sure to give you a bumpier ride than normal! Over time it can create some serious problems. It is the same way with us. When we are out of alignment, we can get up and go about our lives, but we feel pulled in different directions. Some of us may know where it is we want to go but because of being yanked around getting there is certainly not a straight or smooth path.
As we start coming awake in our own stories and become aware of the places where those shoulds don’t match who we are, we can get to work on giving our lives an alignment.
Y’all know how I love to ask Google to define things so we are always working from the same understanding. When I did some digging on the word alignment I found this:
The noun alignment refers to the correct positioning of something. If you check the alignment of your feet when running, you're checking to make sure they're not pointing to either side, but going straight ahead. Alignment has to do with adjusting something so it's in the right place. Another said that alignment is when our thoughts, life choices, and direction all honor our core values. Alignment is when we listen to our intuition and move through the world embodying our true selves. A super simple definition I found was that alignment is function and action with ease. For those who are Jesus girls, you may define it as when our spirits, souls, and bodies work together in peace and harmony.
As for integrity, the amazing Brene Brown gets my vote on the best definition as she says in her book Rising Strong that "Integrity is choosing courage over comfort; choosing what is right over what is fun, fast, or easy; and choosing to practice our values rather than simply professing them.”
For me, I say integrity is when your energy, time, and resources are in alignment with your active core values and the woman you are becoming. Integrity makes us trustworthy because our words line up with our actions. Now, let’s get to the nuts and bolts of how to find the alignment we need so we become women of integrity. I have made it easy with these three simple steps:
- Define your active core values
- Evaluate using your Self Awareness System
- Create a system for evaluating every task, event, or request that comes your way.
You don’t have to be a woman ruled by expectations and responsibilities to the point that who you are and what you want gets lost. Grab the free download in the show notes below. Do this work and you will be a woman who gets to live a life that matches the desires of your heart so that all you do daily moves you step by little step closer to your dreams. Now THAT is what I call living!
Head here to find the blog version of the episode containing the free download for defining your purpose and passion.
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November is over and December has raced upon us with maddening speed. For many people out there this means there is suddenly an elephant in the room. We can ignore as many do, or we can call the thing a thing. Any guesses to what this elephant might be?
The Holidays.
The holidays can be so hard. It gets dark in the middle of the afternoon leaving some struggling with SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder). Everywhere you look people are gathered, families are circled around the table, and romantic dates galore as engagements are at their highest each year. Ads run non-stop telling us what we need to be happy this Christmas. They fill our minds with expectations, and the more-more-more mantra is incessant. Credit cards get swiped, and debt piles even higher sucking any bit of joy from the gift-giving process even though you may be working 80+ hours to afford life. Mailboxes can flood with photoshopped families while you look down and see you are in the same sweatpants as yesterday. The calendar gets overrun with obligations, and the holiday go-go-go has left you crying no-no-no!
For those of us who don't have lives where the holiday looks the way the world says it should look, a weight and sadness can fall heavy on our shoulders. The holiday happily ever after can feel like happily never after. This is the dark side of the holidays no one likes to talk about. It is the elephant in the room. In my life, I have come to understand that what stays hidden makes us sick, but shining a light on things brings healing. I am hoping that together we can shine some light into the lives of others this holiday season.
Can we all admit that the holidays can be hard? They can be mess and stressful and disappointing. They can be trauma triggers. And also they can be beautiful and magical and precious and holy. Both can be true. Neither is right or wrong. They simply are.
I love the holidays and start binge-watching Christmas movies on Hallmark the last week of October, and I am not ashamed to admit it! I love the traditions and twinkling lights, yards full of decor, the smell of real trees and freshly baked treats, festive sweaters and peppermint mochas. It is my FAVORITE time of year and, without question, Christmas is my favorite holiday.
And it is also a time of year when I struggle because my life doesn't have all the things I wish it did. This makes it hard sometimes.
The truth is many people in this world aren't surrounded by family, don't have 23408 invites to holiday gatherings, and don't have the financial means for buying all the media tells us we need to have a happy holiday. It is so hard, and a season that should be overflowing with peace, love and joy can feel more like pain, loneliness, and lack. (SIDE NOTE: If you need professional help to navigate this time of year, give yourself the gift of a good therapist. Therapy is a blessing, and I believe this world would be better if more people had it!)
In today's episode, we will tackle this topic head on. I want to make sure that those of us on the fringes or in a rough season and those with a Martha Stewart meets Norman Rockwell holiday which leaves you stressed out have some tools in your toolbox to navigate this season well. I will give you a strategic plan for surviving the holiday with your peace intact. And we will learn to chase down joy! Take a listen and let me know your thoughts!
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http://rscoachandstrategist.com/how-to-build-awareness-in-your-life/Have you ever had one of those moments where you arrive at a location yet you have no memory of actually making the drive? You know, an auto-pilot kind of experience? You remember getting ready and starting your car, but you cannot recall the actual drive. Maybe you were in your head thinking about a million different things or you were running through dialogue for an upcoming conversation you have to have. But may I suggest there could be another possibility? Could it be that you are sleepwalking through your life? Hear me out on this one.
Over the years, I have worked with far too many women who admitted to feeling asleep in their own stories. They are so focused on handling their countless responsibilities while their dreams sit on the shelf. Many even put self-care on the back burner while they juggle all they have going on. I was one of these women and lived the first 40 years of my life trying to be “good enough” to earn the love of those in my life. At best, I was a facade running from one thing to the next to make sure everyone else was okay. Having clawed and scraped my way out of that pit, I can offer some tips to help make your journey back to yourself and your dreams be a much straighter path. As usual, this will require some sweat equity and work, but it will be a million times worth it.
Awareness creates space for us to see things. Life on auto-pilot makes it easy to coast through our days, handling whatever task or emergency in front of us. We give focus to the urgent while the important gets pushed aside. We simply don’t make time to stop and look at each choice and activity or examine every thought or feeling. In addition, most people are terrible judges of what they are capable of. We only see as far as the end of our nose and don’t step back to check out the bigger picture.
And to help you do this you need SAS - Self Awareness System. This is a process by which we can rationally evaluate feelings and moments and hinges on simply observing without judgment with a goal of understanding. Here is how this works:
Whenever you have had an experience that leaves you feeling some feels, allow yourself to sit with it. Feel whatever you feel. Acknowledge it. Dig under it by asking yourself questions that help you get to the root. Thank it for the lesson it taught you. And then bless it and release it. And then take the awareness you now have to help you in future situations.
Now, to help you get your SAS on, I created a free pdf to help guide you through the process. Keep it on your desktop or your phone so when you need to pull out some SAS, you will have a guide to walk you through. The link is below.
Without awareness, you cannot walk in alignment with your core values. If you can’t walk in alignment, you will never be fully in integrity with yourself or the world. We will talk more about those in an upcoming post and on my Coming Out Gold Podcast so be sure to check back for those.
Head here to find the blog version of the episode containing the free download for defining your purpose and passion.
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Today I am dropping a special episode of the podcast for you. It's what I am calling a Real Talk episode because it is a casual sit-down with me sharing from my heart. I wanted to drop it to say THANK YOU for all your support of my Coming Out Gold Podcast, plus chat about some other bits. Basically I pull back the veil to give you a glimpse behind the scenes.
I hope you will take a listen over Thanksgiving week here in America. Whether you are consuming all the turkey you can hold or go for Waffle House (which is how we roll) or you are neck-deep in Black Friday shopping, I hope you will take a short break to check it out.
This podcast only exists because of those of you tuning in, so again I will say THANK YOU!!!!
You are amazing!
I adore you!
And I know you have amazing things ahead for you, Lovie!
If you find this helpful or fun, please share and tag me! And if you have a sec, please head over to iTunes and leave me a reviewIf you are looking for a coach, reach out below! I would love to see if we are a perfect fit!
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Today let’s spend some time focusing on passion and purpose, how they differ, what they are, and how to figure out our own. PASSION It's about emotions and often centers on what makes us feel good, i.e., the whole 'do what you love' mindset. It is inward-facing and rooted in what matters to you personally. Google defines passion as a strong and barely controllable emotion. I imagine it as this inferno that burns hot. The problem with fires is typically they burn themselves out. Passion, as with an actual fire, has to be constantly fed and stoked. But let’s be honest, sustaining that level of energy, attention, and effort in real life becomes exhausting over time. It's a challenge to build a lifetime on something that requires us to continue creating enough fuel to sustain the emotional payoff. We need passion in our lives, but we can’t build our life on passion alone. We need more, and that is where purpose comes in. PURPOSE Purpose is the why behind what we do. It is our motivation, the reason we'll stay in the fight when things get hard. Purpose is outward-facing and primarily has its roots planted in a much bigger picture. It is more about doing for others. Google defines purpose as the reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists. Whereas passion can be all over the place, wild, and exciting, purpose is much more focused and intentional. Now that we know what differentiates the two, let's start asking ourselves some questions and listening to the words we speak. If you hear yourself saying something like “I wish there was…” or “someone needs to…”, perhaps those are places of purpose for you. Think back to when you were a child. What were some dreams you had? Often that childlike innocence held tons of purpose before the world messed it up by telling you what you should do. For me, the most important question to ask yourself is about the end of your days here. If you were standing in the back observing your funeral service, what would you hope people would say about you? When you think about your eulogy, the words spoken are about the person you became throughout your life and how you made people feel. So ask yourself, who do you want to become? In her book, The Wait of Success, author Valerie J. Lewis Coleman writes, “Passion without purpose leads to frustration. Purpose without passion leads to procrastination. Passion WITH purpose leads to success.” And I know we have all experienced these scenarios where one or the other was lacking, leaving us frustrated or avoiding the task like the plague! So, what next? First, I want to reiterate the importance of searching within yourself for these. Don’t get dictated by the list of “should" you were handed. If you are going to design a life based on your dreams, know you will not find your passion and purpose outside yourself. To get you started, here are the steps to take this week: Download the free pdf. Answer the questions. Take small steps toward practicing your purpose and passion. You deserve to live a life you flat adore. Living it on purpose with passion ensures you will. And remember, others are watching, and together we rise stronger, so let’s do this work for ourselves and those watching. Head here to find the blog version of the episode containing the free download for defining your purpose and passion. Follow us on: Instagram: @Coming-Out-Gold-Podcast Facebook: @Coming-Out-Gold-Podcast Podcast edited by: That Podcast Lady Royalty-free music from Pixaby.com
http://rscoachandstrategist.com/how-to-create-active-core-values/Imagine with me you are watching a scene from a movie. There is a bride who is standing in the middle of a bridal salon. Racks of dresses line the walls around her as far as the eye can see. The sales lady is holding up all kinds of gowns for the bride’s opinion. The mother-of-the-bride is pulling every dress she can find that matches the ideal she has for her daughter’s big day. The bridesmaids are pulling gowns for the bride they would want to wear. It is a chaotic scene of satin and lace and voices clamoring for her attention. The noise intensifies. The bride’s face changes. You can see the panic, confusion, and overwhelm kick in. The sound in her ears changes to that of a swarm of bees. Instantly she covers her ears and runs out of the store screaming. Can you imagine that? Her vision got hijacked, her voice lost. When I started coaching, I focused on helping women find their true identity and determine their unique purpose. Because of this focus, we spent a lot of time digging out from under the piles of “should”. You know, the long list of expectations loved ones, society, and the media hand women. Once we removed those, they started to see a path forward built on what mattered to them. In that clearing, I could walk them through the exercise of choosing active core values. Just so we are all on the same page, let me define the term "core values" as I use them: Core values are the fundamental belief of a person or organization. They are guiding principles used to make choices in life and business. I consider them a filter for all decision-making. They help clarify who we are. And when you know who you are, knowing what to do is much simpler. In today's world, the images often presented don’t always depict reality. The lawn might be perfectly manicured, and the house might be in the right neighborhood, but this in no way guarantees the people behind the front door are happy with who they are and what they are doing. Many are on a hamster wheel of hustle to keep the lights on and the filtered personas in place. I know this is generalizing a bit, but from the number of women I have spoken with, this identity struggle typically creates overwhelm in their lives. If 2020 revealed anything, it revealed the weight women carry when running their business, household, and family lives. So how do we change this? I believe we can do this by living in alignment with active core values. Many of my clients have seen amazing transformations after creating and living by active core values. Because I am so passionate about others experiencing this, I have made a free mini-course for you. Seriously, there are no strings attached. This is just me providing you with a tool to start living life on your terms. Use the link below. When you click on it you will be asked to give your email address for me to send you the pdf course. Then you can follow these easy steps: 1. Print it off or you can grab a piece of scrap paper and save some trees. 2. Follow the directions on page 2. 3. Start practicing and reciting them several times a day. Repeating these until they are automatic will ensure you become the woman you want to be so you can live the life you want to live. Define your values, and you will see areas of your life come into focus in ways you never imagined, so get ready for it! Head here to the blog version of the episode for the free download of my mini-course for defining your active core values. Follow us on: Instagram: @Coming-Out-Gold-Podcast Facebook: @Coming-Out-Gold-Podcast Podcast edited by: That Podcast Lady Royalty-free music from Pixaby.com
http://rscoachandstrategist.com/what-is-community-and-how-do-you-build-it/Welcome back to the Coming Out Gold Podcast. Let’s start with a quick review of the action we took last week. I asked you to be aware of the choices you were making to see if they were because you genuinely wanted to do them or if they were rooted in that nasty "s" word should. I hope you found a plethora of tasks aligned with who you are becoming and what you want out of life. I also hope you spotted places where you were doing things because someone told you they "should" be done. Now you can begin the process of digging up all the “should" planted in your life from the expectations of others and cultural norms and start choosing tasks that YOU want to do. Today we are going to chat about community. My podcast and coaching program are for women who have walked through fire and are ready to come out gold. In my opinion, that happens best in community...you know, the whole “it takes a village” thing, so today we're going to dive into all things community. I looked up the definition of community and found this: Community is a feeling of fellowship with others, as a result of sharing common attitudes, interests, and goals. We need to understand healthy community does not require sameness. It involves choosing to see commonalities more than we focus on differences. So how are we going to do this? I’m so glad you asked… Richard Rohr said, “unity is diversity maintained and protected by love.” So we start by setting a table where all are welcome, and then we promise to protect it fiercely. We lead with love and pour out grace. We meet people where they are and help one another get to a better place. We call out beauty in our sister and celebrate her wins. And let's decide in advance to assume the best of people because the truth is most people are doing the best they can. As for our community here, let's welcome all who wish to enter with open hearts and open minds. Let's build something new where we champion, cheer for and challenge other women with respect and honor. We have all walked through different fires in our lives and, as a result, have countless lessons we can share to bring healing and insight to others. We can do so with an integrity that helps us rise from the ashes and live wildly wonderful stories. Join me in this by connecting on Instagram and Facebook. There we will have conversations about a wide variety of topics designed to make us better. We are sure to have fun as well and get into some mischief, too, because life is too short to be dull, right?!?! To thank you for being here today, I created a pdf of my favorite quote of all time and one I base much of my life on from the incredible Audrey Hepburn. I hope it will serve as a reminder of what we can build together. You can download it at the link below. And for your action step this week, take time to define what a healthy community looks like for you. Then you will know what you need to bring to the table when building it. Head here to the blog version of the episode to download my favorite quote. Follow us on: Instagram: @Coming-Out-Gold-Podcast Facebook: @Coming-Out-Gold-Podcast Podcast edited by: That Podcast Lady Royalty-free music from Pixaby.com
http://rscoachandstrategist.com/what-to-do-when-life-pulls-the-rug-out-from-under-you/Woohoo! Welcome to the kick-off episode of the Coming Out Gold Podcast. I am so excited I can hardly stand it! To get things started I want to share with you a bit of my backstory so you know what brought me to this point. In 2009 I was returning home from Wednesday night church like a good Jesus girl where I had been taking a class on marriage. I pulled into the garage at our family home and entered our living room. The first thing I saw was my husband standing with his packed bags telling me he was leaving. The oxygen left the room. In an instant, my 20-year marriage was done and I found myself tossed into a tsunami of grief I thought I would not survive. I mean, this was not part of my plan and I am a planner so you better believe I had a plan. I had mapped out all our years and nowhere was this wahala part of my narrative. So when I speak to you about walking through fire, trust that I am speaking from some smoke-filled experience. May I ask you a question? Have you ever had the rug just pulled out from under you in a way you didn’t expect? Maybe it was a relationship ending, or a job loss, or an unexpected illness. Honestly, I don’t know that anyone gets through the journey on this crazy planet we call earth without experiencing this kind of moment. But what I have learned in my journey through the fire is who I am. Really. Down beneath the pain and wounds and circumstances I have walked through. As I emerged from the fire what I have learned - and continue to learn - is who I was created to be before the world told me who I should be. As my eyes have become open to the damage living a life built on someone else’s expectations and dreams creates, I have felt a passion begin to burn inside me to help women step free from these lies. To help women stop playing small to do what “they” say we “should” - whoever “they” are. I want every single woman on this planet to stop being “should” on, to stop living a life built on someone else’s dreams. I want women to wake up every day full of energy and excitement to bring their unique gifts to the table instead of spending their days simply trying to survive or being okay with “good enough”. My goal is to shine a light on your greatness so you can define who you are and what you want. This is about getting clear on your most authentic identity because when you know who you were created to be, you know what to do. And once you know this, there is no stopping you, Lovie. This is about finding your purpose, about being a change-maker, solving problems, and choosing to build your life in the way you want it to look. You deserve to establish core values through which you make choices. You deserve to decide how you will spend every single day of your one beautiful life. And whatever you decide is right for you, you have the authority and agency to chase it with every ounce of heart inside you. And I will be here to encourage you, to challenge some old thought patterns that aren’t serving you, to hold space for you to dream your own big dreams. Bless, but too many women have forgotten how to dream big. Thank you so much for joining me on today’s episode of the Coming Out Gold Podcast. I am so thankful for you. And if you have enjoyed this episode, I would love for you to leave it a review. It really helps! Head HERE to the blog version of the episode to download an image to share on your social media platforms Follow us on: Instagram: @Coming-Out-Gold-Podcast Facebook: @Coming-Out-Gold-Podcast Podcast edited by: That Podcast Lady Royalty-free music from Pixaby.com