Talking Points with Kia Rae: Recent Episodes
Kia Rae
Kia Rae talks about pirates, their role in the slave trade and Black Cesar
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qebFTx3bXOo
https://keysweekly.com/42/keys-pirates-the-legendary-story-of-black-caesar-continued/
https://adb.anu.edu.au/biography/caesar-john-black-12829Nikkia Young
Kia Rae discusses the virtual trail we leave when using the internet
https://www.forbes.com/sites/forbescommunicationscouncil/2023/01/24/three-reasons-those-in-tech-should-actively-build-digital-footprints/?sh=32691184225f
https://nordvpn.com/blog/what-is-digital-footprint/
https://usa.kaspersky.com/resource-center/definitions/what-is-a-digital-footprint
Kia Rae discusses changes after the “official’ end of Covid protections in America
https://www.npr.org/2022/01/27/1075299510/the-expanded-child-tax-credit-briefly-slashed-child-poverty-heres-what-else-it-d
https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2023/05/08/1174167601/the-covid-public-health-emergency-ends-this-week-heres-whats-changing
https://www.uab.edu/news/youcanuse/item/12697-how-the-covid-19-pandemic-changed-society#:~:text=Behavioral%20changes%20shifted%20fast%20when,that%20affected%20communications%20and%20trust
Kia Rae discusses the Poor People's Campaign.
https://www.britannica.com/topic/Poor-Peoples-March
https://kinginstitute.stanford.edu/encyclopedia/poor-peoples-campaign
https://www.poorpeoplescampaign.org/about/
Kia Rae talks about the unsuccessful war on drugs
https://www.forbes.com/sites/artcarden/2020/11/04/its-time-to-admit-drugs-won-the-war-on-drugs/amp/
https://www.history.com/topics/crime/the-war-on-drugs
https://www.vice.com/en/article/xgxn8z/how-drugs-won-the-war-on-drugs
Kia Rae talks about her experience as a choir member
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1090513815001051
https://www.ox.ac.uk/research/choir-singing-improves-health-happiness-%E2%80%93-and-perfect-icebreaker#:~:text=Song%20is%20a%20powerful%20therapy,those%20suffering%20from%20dementia%2C%20too.
https://www.healthline.com/health/benefits-of-singing#benefits
Kia Rae discusses the history of jury duty in America, how jurors are selected and thoughts on our civic duty
https://www.npr.org/2015/06/07/412633577/jury-duty-who-gets-called-and-who-actually-serves
https://www.uscourts.gov/services-forms/jury-service/learn-about-jury-service
https://www.mow.uscourts.gov/jury/history_of_jury_duty
https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2017/08/24/jury-duty-is-rare-but-most-americans-see-it-as-part-of-good-citizenship/
Kia Rae discusses historical cases of fraud
https://www.investopedia.com/articles/financial-theory/09/history-of-fraud.asp
https://www.experian.co.uk/blogs/latest-thinking/fraud-prevention/5-of-the-most-remarkable-instances-in-the-history-of-fraud/
https://www.fraud.com/post/the-history-and-evolution-of-fraud
Kia Rae gives a quick update about the pod and how you can support!
https://linktr.ee/talkingpointswkiarae
Kia Rae discusses traditionally lucky symbols and how they came to be seen as lucky.
https://www.britannica.com/art/leprechaun
https://www.trafalgar.com/real-word/history-of-leprechauns-trickster-fairies/#:~:text=Lucky%20Symbols,they%20remain%20so%20popular%20today
https://metro.co.uk/2016/03/17/st-patricks-day-2016-the-difference-between-a-shamrock-and-a-four-leaf-clover-5758043/
Kia Rae talks about adult friendships and why they are harder than we all thought they would be
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/romantically-attached/202103/making-adult-friends-is-hard-here-are-40-reasons-why
https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2022/01/how-to-make-new-friends-midlife/621231/
https://www.inc.com/jessica-stillman/psychology-relationships-adult-friends.html
Summary: Kia Rae discusses symbols of love just in time for Valentines Day!
https://www.artandobject.com/news/history-heart-shape
https://www.history.com/news/who-is-cupid
https://www.history.com/.amp/topics/valentines-day/history-of-valentines-day-2#the-legend-of-st-valentine
Kia Rae discusses professional development and why it is important to careers of all kinds
https://professional.dce.harvard.edu/blog/why-is-professional-development-important/
https://www.webce.com/news/2020/07/16/professional-development
https://www.indeed.com/career-advice/career-development/how-professional-development-programs-work
Kia Rae discusses the history of a couple fad diets
https://www.news-medical.net/amp/health/History-of-the-Ketogenic-Diet.aspx
https://www.menshealth.com/nutrition/a25775330/keto-diet-history/
https://health.clevelandclinic.org/what-is-the-atkins-diet-and-is-it-healthy/
Kia Rae discusses the history behind New Year's resolutions and celebrations
https://www.history.com/news/the-history-of-new-years-resolutions
https://www.history.com/news/5-ancient-new-years-celebrations
https://people.howstuffworks.com/culture-traditions/holidays-other/why-make-new-years-resolutions1.htm
Kia Rae takes a little holiday break!
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Kia Rae discusses how some elements of Christmas as we know it actually belong to pagans
https://wootandhammy.com/blogs/news/wassailing-the-pagan-roots-of-christmas-caroling
https://www.newsweek.com/christmas-tree-origin-story-pagan-tradition-1254178?amp=1
https://www.whychristmas.com/customs/25th
Kia Rae discusses the European tradition of Krampus
https://owlcation.com/social-sciences/A-Brief-History-of-Krampus-in-America#:~:text=%22It's%20been%20theorized%20that%20the,for%20the%20Coca%2DCola%20company.
https://nationaltoday.com/krampusnacht
Kia Rae discusses the origins of Black Friday, Small Business Saturday and Cyber Monday and why Americans run out to buy stuff right after a holiday of gratitude.
https://www.history.com/news/black-friday-thanksgiving-origins-history
https://www.fbfs.com/learning-center/history-of-small-business-Saturday
https://www.rd.com/article/history-of-cyber-monday/
Kia Rae discusses the spiritual and scientific viewpoints on gratitude and how to start your own gratitude practice in time for Thanksgiving.
https://www.forbes.com/sites/luisromero/2017/11/22/gratitude-the-ultimate-spiritual-practice-a-thanksgiving-special/?sh=34fb21452706
https://positivepsychology.com/neuroscience-of-gratitude/
https://newbeginningsfamilylaw.com/3-stages-of-gratitude/
Kia Rae discusses sports tourism and its economic impact across communities
https://www.sportseta.org/portals/sportscommissions/Documents/Reports/TourismEconomics%20-%20Sports%20ETA%20SOTI%20-%20FINAL_82620.pdf
https://destinationsinternational.org/sports-tourism%E2%80%99s-positive-effect-communities
https://blueridgemarathon.com/2021-economic-impact/#:~:text=Foot%20Levelers%20Blue%20Ridge%20Marathon%20and%20Freedom%20First%20Down%20by,%241%2C600%2C000%20in%20regional%20economic%20impact.
Summary: Kia Rae chats about about a famous horror movie trope - the final girl
https://nofilmschool.com/final-girl-trope
https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FinalGirl
https://www.lsureveille.com/opinion/opinion-the-final-girl-horror-trope-is-rooted-in-misogyny-needs-to-be-examined/article_1e500d66-751c-11ea-8f2c-c334fec136a9.html
Kia Rae chats about real estate laws and how the history of a property might not be shared no matter how sinister.
https://zillow.mediaroom.com/2019-10-29-Selling-a-Haunted-House-Heres-What-You-Need-to-Know
https://home.howstuffworks.com/real-estate/selling-home/haunted-house-for-sale.htm
https://www.housebeautiful.com/lifestyle/a24125312/haunted-real-estate-report/
Kia Rae chats about to terrifying history of American cults
https://www.newyorker.com/books/under-review/how-cults-corrected-america
https://www.cbsnews.com/pictures/cults-dangerous-deadly-history/
https://www.rollingstone.com/culture/culture-lists/american-cult-5-spiritual-groups-that-went-too-far-202224/
Kia Rae discusses how many of the lakes we enjoy today are actually drowned black communities.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l3D4hSQcWbk
https://travelnoire.com/black-american-towns-hidden
https://www.centralparknyc.org/articles/seneca-village
https://newsone.com/4185919/lake-lanier-black-city-oscarville/
Kia Rae chats about the history of water bottles, why we cling to them so tightly and carry them everywhere.
https://www.refinery29.com/amp/en-au/emotional-support-water-bottle-girlies-tiktok-trend
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7445186/
https://www.myownwater.com/blog/history-of-bottled-water#:~:text=The%20first%20commercially%20individual%20bottled,beneficial%20water%20with%20more%20people.
Kia Rae talks about the origin of yoga, why it is popular in America and why it remains popular today.
https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/286745
https://www.history.com/news/yoga-vivekananda-america#:~:text=It%20was%20during%20the%201920s,but%20largely%20by%20Indian%20immigrants.
https://yogainternational.com/article/view/why-we-practice-a-short-history-of-yoga-in-the-west
Kia Rae talks about the history of pets and the benefits of having a pup in your home.
https://www.pedigree.com/article/evolution-pet-ownership
https://newsinhealth.nih.gov/2018/02/power-pets
https://www.petplay.com/blogs/tips/7-things-to-consider-before-getting-your-first-family-pet
Kia Rae talks about the history of bumper stickers
https://magazine.northeast.aaa.com/daily/life/cars-trucks/auto-history/bumper-stickers/#:~:text=The%20bumper%20sticker%20as%20we,backed%20paper%20and%20fluorescent%20paint.
https://ecbpublishing.com/what-do-your-bumper-stickers-really-tell-people/
Kia Rae discusses botanical sexism and its effect on our everyday lives.
https://www.nbcwashington.com/news/health/how-male-trees-and-botanical-sexism-could-be-making-your-allergies-worse/3016480/
https://science.thewire.in/environment/the-complicated-truth-behind-botanical-sexism/
https://www.aafa.org/pollen-allergy/
Summary: Kia Rae talks about the term spinster and why women have opted out of traditional life patterns and expectations.
Articles Referenced:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-state-our-unions/202208/the-rise-lonely-single-men
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spinster
https://www.businessinsider.com/why-people-get-married-later-2013-10
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/why-bad-looks-good/202102/why-many-single-women-without-children-are-so-happy?amp
Kia Rae discusses the history of tattoos and how tattoo culture has shifted in the present
https://www.smithsonianmag.com/history/tattoos-144038580/
https://zora.medium.com/the-tattoo-taboo-for-the-asian-woman-49d8d1ed6d68
Kia Rae discusses the history of the Grio and how an ancient tradition continues to show up in contemporary cultures.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QdrPmZwsXiM
https://youtu.be/aF2287N0kAc
Kia Rae talks about why its important to stay hydrated as we embark on the summer months
Kia Rae talks through the waves of feminism and what it might need to look like for the future
Kia Rae shares her student loan story and how it connects to our belief in the American Dream
Kia Rae discusses the rise and importance of mutual aid https://www.thegivingwall.org/
https://linktr.ee/rvacommunityfridges?fbclid=IwAR1fVMMraD922awH3xHipPDWlvQ6ezPLparQ4_K4F9z1Am8JGcO4XD_J410
https://richmondmutualaid.wixsite.com/resources
Kia Rae tackles the theory that states "taxation is theft".
https://www.libertarianism.org/columns/is-taxation-theft
Kia Rae processes her Dry January experience and how it shifted her perspective on alcohol
Kia Rae discusses the representation and why it isn't the principle that will get our society to equity.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/psychology-the-people/202112/why-representation-matters-and-why-it-s-still-not-enough
https://religionnews.com/2020/08/12/harris-nomination-shows-why-representation-matters-but-is-not-enough/
Kia Rae talks about things you should consider before signing up for non profit/ volunteer board service.
Kia Rae talks about market value and how knowing your worth is important.
https://time.com/5383303/salary-ask-for-market-worth/
https://www.glassdoor.com/Salaries/know-your-worth.htm
https://www.payscale.com/
Kia Rae shares her experience on her health journey and how navigating the system requires- money, time and energy.
Kia Rae shares her struggle with gift giving etiquette and how she handles gift giving to keep aniexty at bay.
https://www.cnn.com/style/article/rules-of-gift-giving-scn/index.html
https://www.townandcountrymag.com/society/a13030151/gift-giving-etiquette/
Horror movies are not just meant to terrify and scare us, they also have some qaulity lessions to teach us.
Fear, anxiety and phobias… oh my!
https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/healthyliving/Fighting-your-fears
Buy now, pay later services have changed the way we shop. Kia Rae takes on this new form of payments system.
https://www.marketwatch.com/story/the-buy-now-pay-later-wave-klarna-affirm-and-rivals-hope-to-take-u-s-by-storm-11622225931
https://www.cnbc.com/2021/09/25/why-retailers-are-embracing-buy-now-pay-later-financing-services.html
Rest is vital. However, we have been taught as a society that the only way to survive is the grind. Kia Rae will be sharing her thoughts on why rest is not only vital but revolutionary.
https://thenapministry.wordpress.com/
Kia Rae talks about what we are all feeling these days- burnout.
https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/burnout-recovery
Often we regularly question people for “not moving” when something happens in a particular part of the country or world. Kia Rae explores a few reasons as to why moving is not a realistic solution.
Tipping people for their services is a common practice in the USA but it seems the rules seem to be unspoken but understood.
https://time.com/5404475/history-tipping-american-restaurants-civil-war/
https://www.qantas.com/travelinsider/en/travel-tips/gratuities-and-tipping-in-america.html
https://www.bankrate.com/personal-finance/smart-money/a-cheat-sheet-on-tipping-dos-and-donts/
Playing ‘Devil’s Advocate’ is one of those phases that is used all over the place, so much so Kia Rae thinks folks do not realize what they are saying. https://www.britannica.com/topic/devils-advocate
The Black National Anthem recently got additional publicity with the current events that are working towards the Black Liberation Movement and popular culture. Kia Rae reflects her earliest memories of singing this song and how she views this piece of art.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JUAoEORif5E&t=86s
https://www.pbs.org/black-culture/explore/black-authors-spoken-word-poetry/lift-every-voice-and-sing/
When we think of what is inspirational and why, do we understand that there is another human on the other side of that story.
https://www.forbes.com/sites/andrewpulrang/2019/11/29/how-to-avoid-inspiration-porn/?sh=1f87d1855b3d
When is it “really” time to throw out your old underwear? This question sent Kia Rae on a search for the “right’ answer
Everyone has one song that they learned all the lyrics to and it stuck with them for Kia Rae its “One Mic” by Nas
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JCOURZ-yx4E
Kia Rae talks about her college sorority experience and why she thinks it added to her life in different ways.
Kia Rae recently joined the Peloton community; it's been an interesting ride- pun absolutely intended.
At various points in our journey’s we need a coach, a teacher or a mentor to guide us, to help us level up and/or to learn something new.
Growing up my mother always said “tradition will kill you” and when you think about it, she was absolutely right.
It’s ok to not be ok. As a society we do not know how to properly grieve and it seems that there is a horror genre trope that is aiming to help us explore that. The Haunting of Hill House and The Haunting of Bly Manor helps Kia Rae understand her own relationship with grief and its place in our society.
Happy Birthday to me! Yep, I turning the big 3 0! I take a look back and a look forward to the future.
America has already decided gun reform is not possible, so if guns are going to be a part of the culture we need to learn how to properly store, maintain and shoot guns.
Links: https://injepijournal.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s40621-019-0220-0#:~:text=Unintentional%20shootings%20kill%20approximately%20430,victims%20and%20shooters%20are%20male.
https://www.holdmyguns.org/
Summary: Why is Hennessy so popular in the black community? Kia Rae does some research and learns about a historical link between Cognac and black folks.
Newly single Kia goes out with her work bestie and admits she has never had Hennessy and that she should FoR tHe CuLtUre. There is even a video deeeeep in my iPhone archives even- documenting the moment. Now it's not that I don't drink brown liquor, it's quite the opposite. I drink whiskey, bourbon, and all kinds of liquor straight. I’m loyal to local so I tend to keep local distillers in my liquor cabinet rather than the big names- yeah they cost a little more but the quality is way better. Which brings me back to- WHY HENNESSY? So of course I head to the internet to look it up.
Plants seem to be having a moment. Social media accounts dedicated to them and their care, shops full of plants, even plant subscriptions. Let's take a look at why they are good to keep around- besides the whole providing oxygen thing.
I started noticing this plant craze and honestly, I love it. On social media people talking about and two plants, people gifting plants, shops that offer you a drink while you shop for plants. Last year during the summer, I tried my hand at keeping a few plants alive- a mint, basil, a rehabbed lavender plant, a stubborn snake plant, 2 cacti, and 2 very dead succulents (why are they so hard)! My girlfriends and I frequently chat about plants and caring for them so I decided to share that with you all.
It is alright to go to therapy for anything. A pivotal moment in your life, a major decision you are trying to work through, maybe just to chat.
While my first experience with therapy was not the ideal introduction, a very long story in the least and not on the fault of the therapist AT ALL. If anything she helped me navigate an event in my life where I was actively being gaslit and I am forever grateful because my story could have had a trajectory without her. The second time I went to therapy, I initiated using my job's EAP after a very rough break up- whew. While these sound like problems, issues, or pivotal moments in my life (and they were)- I'm here to tell you that it's ok to go to therapy for anything.
Let's be real, 2020 and portions of 2021 came with levels of trauma that no one was expecting. Even if you came out relatively “unscathed”, it was still a wild ride. There was no playbook or plan. We were and probably still are doing what we could to keep our wits about us.
Often we forget all that educators represent within our society, with the pandemic it seemed they would finally get the praise and support they deserve. Even if they did (which they did not), we would never be able to repay them for all they have given each of us.
My life has been changed by educators- I think we all can confidently say that. While I know our education systems are not perfect here in America and are often a place that helps keep inequalities going but I am not taking that route and teachers are usually working within the many flawed systems we have. My first teacher is my mother who is working as an educator today, my sister is a teacher and many of my beloved friends are teachers or have been teachers. We consistently ask them to do more, be more, get more when they dont have the resources. We expect them to cover where parents can not. I thought it would get better through the pandemic and sadly was I wrong.
Just because I am the age of your children and grandchildren doesn't mean I am your child and you can talk to me any kind of way.
Many of my friends, acquaintances, and coworkers are old enough to be my parents. There are so many benefits to having older friends either as mentors, sharing life experiences, and giving good advice. Honestly, I am so grateful to my older friends because they have helped me navigate so much in my life- but those are not the kind of older people I am talking about.
It’s the folks who negate your experience and assume you have a barrier because of your age.
In the spirit of spring cleaning and clearing out space, I know many of us are packing our stuff up to take down to our local donation spot just to get it out of our house but have you sorted it yet?
We are all in an online resale group- it might be clothing, it might be jewelry, or random specialty items. Towards the end of last year, I started buying more second-hand items from other plus-sized women. There was one sparkly skirt that I loved but I waited to reach out. When I finally reached out to her to buy, she said “oh I donated it”. I had to check myself because I was like “that's a nice skirt!” and then I thought about some 20/30 something finding this skirt on a thrift rack and being so excited. We need to normalize donating nice things to charities because everyone should have the chance to be fly for cheaper.
People think the “Gen Z” generation is weird but I stan these game changers and all they will shift in their years to come.
One of the things I do in my free time is volunteer and mentor sorority women. That's right- college girls. But let me tell you, it's one of my favorite ways to spend my time. They are smart, driven, know how to read into any and every rule but they also know how to take care of each other, build deep relationships and seek a more equitable society. One of my favorite memories of working with one of my sorority women was right before a recruitment event- I asked them “what they wanted to see in their new sisters”. I braced for shallow answers. And the answers I got made me realize- “The kids are alright”.
Virtual baby showers, graduations, weddings and birthday parties became a staple during the pandemic. We had to transition and change celebrations in a way that we never imagined. While some folks thought it was best to postpone or cancel, it can be best to celebrate regardless.
A friend of mine sent me the link to her virtual college graduation. She had worked long and hard to obtain this degree and I was so upset for her that she did not get her day to walk across the stage and claim her reward for sticking with it. Of course, I clicked the link and sat in my living room- ready to screenshot and cheer my friend on. And it started me down the path think about celebration and why it is so important to still celebrate in the mist of all that's going on.
It's ok to be tired of people and we need to come across more honestly
I feel that we have all experienced a situation where we haven't been honest in the moment and maybe turned away from just letting someone have it. Here is why we should go ahead and let them folks have it.
20 years ago Mary J Blige graced the airwaves with Family Affair and the No More Drama album. If you don’t know what I am talking about stop right here and go ahead and look up this magical gem from the early 2000’s - the video is everything you need to know.
Did you know makeup expires? And usually, it's not a long shelf life either. In this episode, Kia Rae discusses discarding makeup, not donating old products, cleaning brushes, and using a makeup clean out as a chance to refresh your look.
Being wealthy or rich does not make you a better person
I couldn't understand why people were so opposed to aid for folks affected by the pandemic and in a conversation with my mother it hit me- people view being in poverty as a moral failing when really that is far from true.
After all we have been through in the last four years, it is extremely wild to hear people say things like “we can still be friends regardless of our beliefs”. That’s not how this works at all. How can you expect people to forget and move on without accountability for the horrible things said and done?
You can do more for small businesses than just spend money with them.
I’m lucky to live in a city where small business is booming. And there has been a recent focus in the media and such to support small businesses. They are what makes our cities cool right? They employ folks, provide interesting services and products, and experiences that we can't get anywhere else. However, some of those things cost a little more than your budget and that's alright! Here are some ways you can ball on a budget AND support some of your favorite local businesses.
Drake might not have started from the actual bottom but I respect the sentiment and have applied the sheer audacity of this man and some of his lyrics to my life in a few ways.
I’m tired of being price gouged for buying plus size clothing.
I am a plus-size lady- usually ranging from sizes 22-26 depending on the style, brand, material, and more. Even in stores where they have a usually meager selection, they charge 20% or more for the plus sizes of the SAME STYLES. A majority of American women are over a size 12… so why charge us more?
When someone tells someone “no”, that person is often seen as the villain. Given our new normal and the new phase of life I am personally in, I’ve said “no” more in the past year than I ever have before and as a result I’ve gotten more resistance than I ever had and I want to address that.
This is my podcast, passion project, sounding board, and my gift to those that want to listen.
Everybody has got a podcast, tons of topics, a whole bunch of hosts, and lots of people who are probably way more eloquent than I am but I have something to say and this is why you should listen to your girl Kia Rae**