Divya: Recent Episodes
Divya - Beams.fm
It’s your fave short girl talking about books / design / social commentary / movies and TV 👩🍼 (also rambling about my life)
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What really irks me is when people say, Oh, enjoy your GCSE because that will be the best years of your life will enjoy uni because they will be over. And it's the best years of your life. Like which one is it Carol? My puberty hormones filled 15 to 16 year old self not knowing what I'm doing, thinking I'm deciding my entire future, with my GCSE choices? Or is that my adult but doesn't feel adult self not knowing what I'm doing, thinking I'm deciding my entire future with my uni choices? Average lifespan is like, well, eighty years old, and you're telling me that after the ages of 16 to 25 it’s all down Hill from here? Uh, WHAT. So one of the most common things that people regret at the end of their life is spending so much of their time worrying, or working too much and missing really important moments in life and not taking enough risks, and I think everything is always better In hindsight. We romanticise our past and we love to revell and live in that because we suffer a lot from these cognitive biases like there's a bias, the Peak-End rule where we only remember the very intense, positive or negative moments at the end of an event. And, like, you probably don't remember the mundane shit that happened every single day. Bro. Are you not remembering the time you had anxiety, like every day because you didn't understand what was going on, and you were, like, so confused for the future. And you had, like, no money and you're just depressed, like you don't remember that?
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I've only ever cried at a concert like once, and that was at Lorde's melodrama concert in 2017. She was giving a speech before liability about putting on her armour and not getting hurt. I don't know why I cried like I couldn't necessarily even relate to her speech at that point. I don't know. Maybe it was just the emo piano music, so I went to Lea Salonga’s dream again tour this weekend. When I was 11, I used to watch Les Mis 10th anniversary recordings on YouTube over and over again in 3 60 p quality Alright. That shit was filmed on CCTV footage. On my own is a piece that without being cheesy, but it's dear to my heart. She's also the voice of Mulan and Princess Jasmine, and it's like the songs of my childhood, really. So I wasn't necessarily even expecting it. But when the announcer said, Give it up for Lea Salonga, my body just reacted in a way that I didn't expect, and I cried! and I couldn't even blame it on hay fever, you know? when she sang, it was like the emotions and feelings of watching her sing on those YouTube clips since I was 11 just came to me all at once, and I felt so lucky. I’m so grateful to be able to experience the voice of my childhood and the voice of one of the greatest performers in the time that I'll be alive. And it was honestly cathartic and bro, When I tell you she can sing, she can sing. She belongs in the theatre. Honestly, it was incredible. I hope everyone gets to experience something like that, Bro. 10 out of 10 5 stars on Google Reviews
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over the past few weeks, I've spent an ungodly amount of time watching paranormal videos. The thing is, yeah, I don't know if I believe in ghosts and like spirits or anything, I like to consider myself a pretty rational person. We're trying to debunk things, but yeah, one time. Yeah, I went to this haunted museum just because I was intrigued, and one of the dolls was locked behind a glass door and there was a warning on it. I was like, Look into this doll's eyes as it said that the spirit will get angry and try and attach to you. And yeah, it might just be a royal dough, but you could not pay me to look into its eyes. Yah! The perfect weather is when it's grey and it's rainy and I'm with a friend and we're sharing ghost storeys. And in school, we used to do this a lot, like sitting around the table. The lights are off and we can all bond in that moment of terror and uncertainty before the bell rings and this back to double maths. And when I don't have friends to tell me this, I just want Shane and Ryan Buzzfeed Don't solve Lois Lane's Storey times and back in the day of television, there was this British show called Most Haunted that Me and my mom used to watch. I don't know why I like it so much like what I'm looking for, like inside the catharsis at the end or a chance to feel something for once. But I like it when you're with people the most because you feel the sense of safety. But if I'm watching this about myself and I'm home, I'm so aware of every bump and crack and movement out of the corner of my eye. Speaking of home, like my home back when I was is who had some weird stuff going on. But I don't know if that was just like my puberty brain, but that's maybe for another storytime
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one of the difficulties about being an immigrant and living in the West is when you're not able to speak your native language. I feel like there's a lot of shame and a sense of loss of identity attached that I used to be bilingual and speak Nepali. But, you know, when you grow up in a different country for a while, you're susceptible to becoming like my dad calls me a coconut. It's just wild, like after years of Tracy Beaker and Digestives, you just start to lose it. I feel like I'm missing out on fruitful conversations like when my relatives call me and you know, they tell me things like, Oh, look how much you've gained weight and how I m getting chunky and how I need to study and listen to my parents. And I'm just on the other side like Mm, so I'm actually due to go back to my home country again. And I'm really scared of being mocked for my botched nonsense grammar bad accent. I'm also scared of getting hiked up prices when I'm shopping because they can tell I'm a foreigner. One of the only good things about not being able to speak Nepali is that I can just pretend I don't understand and stare into the distance. My aunts gonna be like, right, go wash the dishes now. And I'm just going to be like, uh ¿no lo sé? no hablo Nepali mate! Me llamo Divya. And then they tell me something like Divya your arranged marriage is tomorrow and I'll be like, um ermmmmm, je joue au foot?
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someone told me to bring tissues When I went to watch everything everywhere, all at once. I really wish I listened to them because, bro, with a combination of my hay fever and my tears, the snot was deadly. Evelyn is the main character, and she's going through the stress of running, a, failing Laundromat she’s got expectations from her father has got a strained marriage, and she's very disconnected with her daughter. Then one day we find out that because her life has had so many failures, she also has the most potential in order to tap into her alternative lives in the multiverse and defeat the villain like they really showed what depression feels like from that fear of like, not living up to your potential and like the meaningless of everything. But actually, what I really liked more than anything was the family dynamics the most! Like I saw a family who couldn't find the space or the words to express their care and love for each other, and how that really kind of tears each other apart. And it's the way that the film made me cry at the relationship between the mother and the daughter, whilst there were rocks. Waymond is the father so sweet, and there's a moment in the film where he says, like his strength is in his kindness. He doesn't really know what's going on with the multidimensional war or anything, but he knows that fighting isn't the answer. And it's the fact that at the end it's like, You know what life might be confusing and meaningless, but the mother still chose that life with her family because moments like that is where you find meaning like this is coming from a movie. where they have hot dogs for hands and the same directors who made turn down for what? And I'm just here like I haven't seen a good film in a long time, and this was super solid.
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The one thing that I promise you that other people do not care about is your dreams. And that's the one thing I love to talk about! If you have the unfortunate circumstance of being my friend you will be subject to a very rich and detailed minute by minute account of my dreams, You know, I just feel compelled to tell people about my dreams because it's like someone other than me just has to know someone other than me just has to experience it as well. I don't care about going to Mars this flying to the moon that, global warming What? I want to be able to record my dream and watch it. And I think I like dreams because it's one of the only times I truly feel like I can be an enhanced version of myself, and I feel like my life is exciting. I love the experience of like, I don't know, flying, having movie type conflicts, and it just doesn't matter. And my dreams. They normally have this like cinematic angle shots as well, like Wes Anderson and got nothing on me. What I find really scary. is when I can sense that I'm in a dream where, like I wake up in my own bed, I'm waking up inside my dream and I can tell that something's off. So I'm like, All right, I have to try and use logic to prove that this is a dream. So maybe I'm like holding a book and I'll be like, Okay, if this is a dream, the passages shouldn't make sense. And then I opened up the book and it's It's in perfect English. And then I'm like, Am I in Inception? I just mean dreams are cool, like some of the best literature in the world came from dreams Twilight.
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I love it when Miyazaki comes out of retirement to direct another studio, Ghibli film. Studio Ghibli films have that little je ne sais quoi. It's kind of hard for me to know which ones are like the best. So here's the ones that kind of mean a lot to me, Spirited away. Everyone's already talked about this. Yeah, yada yada yada I was tempted to put Howl’s moving Castle for its like, fantastical nature to and also like, Who doesn't love Howl? this one, I think really brings people into the world of Ghibli. The world of anime. It’s kind of like Alice in Wonderland. There's some girl tries to end up navigating a fantastical land that's trying to save her parents that have been turned into pigs. It's whimsical. Animation is peng. Score is peng probably some of the most iconic characters all the time. From up on Poppy Hill, This is an underrated Ghibli film. It's charming, it's nostalgic. And, yeah, there's kind of a sweet home Alabama incest plotline. But don't let that scare you away. We have a girl and I guy and they're both in high school. And they decided one day, you know what? Let's clean up the school clubhouse until the chairman of the high school wants to demolish it. Oh, no. How will they save it? Yeah, that's the plot, my neighbour Totoro, bro. This movie is just good vibes. It's about the relationship between Mei and Satsuki, and it's sweeter than Gulab Jamun, my God. But they also grapple with the threat of losing their mother throughout the film. And it just reminds me of like my relationships with my family and my siblings, and it's just it warms your It does it’s like a nice cup of tea, Im interested to hear what your favourite Ghibli films are or which Ghibli films mean a lot to you.
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what was wild about the blog. Your fave is problematic on tumblr was the sheer range of things that they call problematic because you have this, like blog posts, calling Zoey Deschanel like super problematic for calling out the dangers of like 2000’s Hollywood culture for pressuring people to become super thin whilst in the same breath you have people like Louis C. K. Who has actual sexual allegations against him. I do understand the importance of highlighting things, But I feel like sometimes it also feels insidious in this age of the Internet were basically everyone is branded as a misogynist or groomer or predator over things which can sometimes be ambiguous. I mean, of course, it’s situational. It really depends like, and it's really up to your own discretion if you think anyone deserves your time or your forgiveness. But I do feel like there are some situations where we feel like we lose touch of reality. We need to go outside and touch a little bit. Grass mate, we are holding someone accountable for like, I don't know, like a hashtag they used or like this weird off comment that they made over a decade ago and they've already apologised for its like I don’t know judgement day, but it just goes on forever. I do think that these posts can act for good in letting us or even the person learn from their mistakes. And I think it's really telling that the owner of the blog now admits that people aren't existing on a binary. You aren’t either a good person or a bad person. And you know what? We should really kind of leave some space for some nuance. I think it goes without saying it's very case dependent.
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John Green, author of The Fault In Our Stars , founder of Crash Course and VidCon and the brother of Hank Green. Was also subject to being a member of this list. Your Fave Is Problematic on Tumblr. They were saying he was like fat-shaming to slut-shaming to instances of appropriation. Okay, so there's a lot to distill in 90 seconds. So maybe I'll make a longer YouTube video about this clap if you'd like that. Around 2014/15 people were saying he was a creep because his books “pandered to teenage girls” or because he was an adult man that was writing a book about teens like Okay?, like Rick Riordan also does this. So, HuH???, and they said that he was like the quote “dad of a kid who always volunteers to supervise the pool parties and scoots closer to all the girls” end quote. There was an anonymous source that says he was stroking a fan, which leads people to brand him as this predator or like pedo. And it's like, you know, and then obviously John would try and defend himself from these allegations because who wouldn't and then Tumblr would essentially, be like “You said you didn't do it!?. That's what a predator would say!” and then they kind of just harass and condemn him until he left Tumblr. His career is fine now, but the point is that it's so easy to kind of craft a tweet and have thousands, if not millions of people view sometimes baseless accusations as fact. Because, honestly, like a lot of us aren’t that invested to go looking up like we're not Fact check dot com, But I feel like you can’t just call someone a creep because you think the vibes are off.
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Cancel culture has been used so much that it’s starting to sound like a really bad Netflix reality TV show. Now, whether you think it has an impact or not, I want to talk a little bit about this tumbler blog called Your Fave is Problematic and the legacy that it had. So this was an early 2010 blog that made essentially an archive of every misdeed or questionable action that a celebrity had ever done. Now the blog Is now inactive. But they made lists like they were the Office for National Statistics, and they were doing the national census. They made lists about John Green, Selena Gomez, Justin Bieber, Louis C. K. Tyler Oakley, your eighth grade math teacher. The original creators of the blog actually made it to document sexist behaviour that wasn't being called out. And then it started to turn and become about celebrities. The blog was really popular, and it was basically just revealing to people that celebrities who you once thought were infallible and should be idolised (not a BTS reference) are really just people like- I do think it's important to be aware that celebrities aren't and shouldn't be placed on this untouchable moral high ground to everyone and you don't have to kiss their feet. They're prone to the same biases as us and probably even more so, you know, depending on the type of background that they came from. And I think today's form of your fave is problematic list is like Twitter threads, just like documenting everything and anything like pull your straps up because people today they don't let anything slip. Like we’re so critical of the little nuances of language and body and actions that we perform, especially as like The Internet Is forever.
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is watching true crime even ethical? “I've been obsessed with murder and crime”. That as a statement in itself is a little bit weird. So I've been watching true crime related content recently like Buzzfeed’s Unsolved series and like docu series on Netflix and part of it is like I like the way that they unravel a mystery. Like, the narrative structure is so compelling. They really leave you on a cliffhanger at the end of the episode and you start theorising who did it, who did what. I don't know. It becomes an episode of like Scooby Doo. But of course, it's crime. And that's where I feel like the narrative can be a little bit questionable, like we really love to root behind the hero. We love to boo a villain. And today's crime documentaries are really about justice, really, about exposing people who are allegedly wrongly jailed or wrongly let off. But I feel like sometimes the way that social media is, we can treat it like a Team Edward Team Jacob thing. Really, we need to remember these are real cases with real victims, like did the families even consent to this? And I think whilst we are watching someone put makeup on and telling stories about murder or reading a Twitter thread. It's easy to feel like, Yeah, we know the story! And kind of get lost in the entertainment, but I think it's also important to question is the thing we're watching… Compassionate?. Is it empathetic? or is it really just conspiracy theory?
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Here's a condensed, non serious review of every classic I've ever read. Lord of the flies. William Golding. Basically, the morals are men are trash. David Cameron would have loved this island. Lots of pigs. Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte This is the era's equivalent to 50 shades of grey, except with self discovery, challenging gender roles, colonialism, balancing religion and earthly pleasure. Oh, and a wife locked up in the attic! Sense and Sensibility. This whole book is about the effects of patriarchy and primogeniture. Literally nothing happened. You might as well just watch Bridgerton and Frankenstein. Mary Shelley. I appreciate its impact on culture, but it’s kind of slow The Bell Jar. Sylvia Plath so depressing. A 10 out of 10. Of mice and men, John Steinbeck puts you off painting your nails red ever again. This is also depressing and bro. Everyone in this book is having a hard time here. This is great. Easy to analyse. You're gonna get a A star in GCSE. English. 1984. George Orwell. You read this to become a member of the Board of Intellectuals. This is the hunger games of the fifties, but it's still relevant today. Basically, society kind of sucks Wuthering heights by Emily Bronte I'd honestly rather read TikTok’s terms and conditions than suffer this book. The Yellow Wallpaper by Charlotte Gilman. This is truly wild from start to finish. There is something about classics that talk about mental illness. They all slap! 10 out of 10.
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all right, someone call David Attenborough. Because big mega stars are an endangered species we all regrettably heard Gal Gadot's Imagine Song right? Big Stars coming together used to be a special treat, like we had 2000 and eight’s just stand up. We also had Ellen's 2014 Oscar Selfie being the most retweeted ever, and now it's just cringe. Michael Jackson really had the world in a clutch, and I don't think anyone can ever hee hee their way to that level of stardom again, Stars used to be the selling point of movies. I feel like the last one is really kind of like, Will Smith, maybe Jennifer Lawrence And like Leonardo DiCaprio, Algorithms and hyper personalisation are partly the reason. When TV and radio had limited channels, you're kind of forced to watch all the same shows or listen to the same songs. But now, if I don't like you, it's easy to listen to my own little bubble and stream my own movies without ever really having to interact with that. Unless I go into a retail store and hear Ed Sheeran’s, bad habits against my will. Celebrities used to be alluring and hidden and hard to reach you had to wait for some parasitic paparazzi to snap a photo of them. And now it's like I know what hemorrhoid cream they use, Maybe BTS are one of the fewer new growing stars. But even with the big artists, I feel like your shelf life is limited babes. Before people move on to a newer model, Social media has definitely blurred. this idea of a celebrity we have this swarm of influencers now being invited to places that were once very exclusive. It's so interesting and wild how some people can have, like millions of followers, and you still wouldn't know who they are unless you're like in that niche. This idea of the megastar is dying out because if everyone can become famous, then no one can
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