The Gist With Tobi: Recent Episodes
Adekunle Mercy Oluwatobi
On this episode, we talked about the need to have a compatible partner and we also highlighted the compatible angles to look out for.
Being committed in a relationship is a big deal, this episode gives you signs to watch out for in order to avoid a terrible heartbreak.
This episode describes possible reasons why people are trying to avoid you and stay away from you.
Things are happening oooo my people What do we say about human and dog having intimate relationships? This is a packed full episode on personal experiences and happening's around the world.
A manipulative being is a control freak, there are people who are not aware of their manipulative state and they need to be awakened to this fact, these set of people need help to become a better version of themselves and that is what today's episode hopes to do.
There are traits to watch out for in people you consider friends, lovers and close associate's. This episode unveils the mask and exposes true friendship and manipulative individuals.
From my house hunting experience, to my waist bead experience..... Join me on today's podcast as I bring smiles to your beautiful faces.
Find out what my guest and I have to say about this interesting and engaging topic. Instagram handle: gistwithtobi Mail: tobitalksreal@gmail.com
There is so much conflict in various relationships because one partner wants to be shown off to the world while the other feels there is no need for it..... Listen to my opinion as well as that of Okikiola and Mirabel on today's epsiode..... Grab your popcorn and have fun guys.
In today's epsiode, we had a lengthy discussion on meeting Nigerian Inlaws based on personal experiences..... Instagram: gistwithtobi Mail: tobitalksreal@gmail.com
While love is beautiful, it remains very important for us to look out for how the future would look like for the person we are involved with, check out these red flags and feel very free to seek help where neccessary. Find me on instagram @gistwithtobi. Mail: tobitalksreal@gmail.com
There are moments when you need to let go of someone you love in order to have a future of bliss. Before you agree to a lifetime of commitment, ensure that you are compatible with your partner. Communication is extremely important.
Some people feel that the wife of the married man should be blamed for the act, some feel that the side chicks are extremely tempting and cannot be overlooked. On this episode, Mirabel and I did justice to the topic, share your opinion with us also.
When we understand the way money is coming in and going out, we become highly responsible for every financial plan we make.
Loving yourself is a serious life issue, you need to love yourself in order to survive and grow.
Relationship should be beautiful and it should bring out the best in you, if your relationship isn't doing that, then you should have a rethink about the relationship.
Doing good is a very great necessity, spreading love makes life worth living for everyone.
Those who have a calm personality are often regarded as being dumb and silly and that is a wrong perspective. If you are calm, I want you to understand that you are amazing just the way you are and you do not want to be someone else as a result of societal standards.
The reason why Nigeria bank officials are usually rude and disrespectful is one thing I don't understand? I think some of these bank officials should be called out and dealt with.
Welcome to the gist with Tobi, let me begin the podcast this morning by sincerely appreciating you my lovely listeners for the support and sweet words of encouragement, you guys are amazing.The world we live in today has made it look like men are not supposed to ever show their weak and emotional side, that men are supposed to display strength regardless of what happens to them, we forget to understand that that these men are also humans, they have emotions and they have blood running through their veins. I believe that if a woman can display her weak emotional side and she is receiving support and accolades then there is nothing that stops a man from receiving the same support. I am a young lady who loves to stand up for the right of other women, I understand that sometimes we are not given a fair and equal opportunity to compete with the male gender and in as much as I am extremely quiet in nature, I cannot just be quiet when it comes to sincerely standing up for the rights of women. In as much there is a great need for women to speak up and fight for their right, in as much as women deserve all the love and attention they could get, in as much as we want the abuse of the female gender to be completely eradicated, we must also be sincere with ourselves about the way some priorities are clearly misplaced when it comes to the right of fighting for women.A good number of females have become completely obsessed with the need for attention that they ignore the need for attention from their male counterpart as well. The sort for a one-sided attention has resulted to the ruin of so many relationships, I have heard stories of ladies who believe it is the guy’s absolute responsibility to cater for them and they do not have to do anything in return just because we are supposed to be tagged a weaker gender, that is an extremely wrong idea on every level.The trend of women who even think they could bring down a man on the terms of the lies they tell about rape is really uncalled for. I must make it clear that I am totally against rape and I believe strongly that anyone caught guilty should be thoroughly punished. But you see this act of trying to bring down a man who has a pedigree on the lies of rape is totally unacceptable as well. There are ladies who try to extort a man for money and the moment he refuses, they begin to bring up allegations about rape when what they had was a consensual intercourse.Our love for attention has made some of us women completely biased with our judgement, as long as it does not favour the woman in the equation then we regard that situation as being completely unnecessary. I will tell you a quick story to explain the point I am trying to make here: I was been told the story of a woman who maltreats her husband, she is more financially stable than the husband so she practically runs the home and as a result of that, the husband runs every errand in the home. It is so bad to the extent that she sleeps upstairs and the husband has a room downstairs, he washes the cars, prunes the flowers, he prepares the meal and carries out every necessary domestic chores in the house, then he opens the gate for his wife to drive to work while he takes a tricycle to get to his own work place with the second car parked in the house and can only be accessed by the wife. I was been told this story alongside a very strong feminist who was of the opinion that the man would have done something really terrible to deserve such treatment but of course if the tables were turned, I know she would have called the man all sort of names and say that the woman needed help. Now that we have a man going through the same thing, why do we think it always has to be the man who is faulty? Women are not completely saints either. I know that men have done very terrible things but there are still very good men just the same way there are women who have very terrible attitudes as well.I really believe that men should also be given a c
Hi guys, welcome to another amazing episode of the gist with Tobi, it feels so good to have you around. If today is your first time, thank you for coming and welcome to the family. To my ever supporting listeners, thank you so much for always listening and sharing this podcast. I love you so much. On today’s episode we will be talking about the importance of having a supportive partner. Are you ready my people……Simi is no doubt a phenomena singer and the people close to me know how much I love singer SIMI and the things that she stands for, but today we will not be talking about how much I love her but about the need for a support system like Mr Gold. Observing the things that Simi does, it is expected that people who are against feminism will always come for her and even regard her husband as being weak. It takes a great deal of maturity to handle situations like that and I give it to Adekunle Gold for the consistent support we see him giving to his wife, ‘’Na real man be that’’.Moving on, this is bringing me to talk about the need to prioritize the search for a supportive partner more than any other feature you might have on your list for a good partner. Irrespective of how independent we want to appear, secretly, everyone wants the people they love to be their biggest fan and cheerleader and it can be highly frustrating to have a partner who does not give a damn about what you are doing. Do you know some people will even try to stop their partners from chasing their dreams? Once you find yourself in a relationship that prevents you following your passion and dreams or that limits you to a particular position then it will be wise for you to leave oo and run for your dear life.So, some days ago I decided to throw out a question to a few close audience in order to get their opinion on the topic and I will be reading out this amazing response I got from Faith.Faith says: Hi Tobi, hope you are good? As per your question about being in a relationship with someone who does not support you. I will say I once had my own taste of being in a relationship where my partner tried to stop me from chasing my dream. From the beginning of the relationship, I did not really see it as a big deal because this guy was all loving and caring, I mean what more could a girl want asides this excessive love and care from her partner. My friends envied me for the attention I got from my partner and I tasted love on a gold statue, but I noticed he always had a problem with me trying to connect and communicate with my customers.At first, I thought it was an atom of innocent jealousy but it became so bad that he started to give me reasons why I didn’t have to work since he was making enough money for the both of us. I know that not in this life will anyone talk me into becoming a liability because I watched my Mum depend on my Dad for everything and it was not a pleasant sight at all. There was a day I had a meeting with this very important client, I slept over at his place a night before and I had told him my plans for the following morning. I stepped out of the bathroom and I found my clothes deeply soaked in water. At that point, I was confused between crying, laughing and smashing his face. I simply reached for one of his shirts and shorts and found my way home with different thoughts going on inside of me, of course that was the end of the relationship as he finally found solace in the fact that I was not a wife material. For me I do not care how long I have to wait but once it comes to a man putting down my dreams, life goals and aspirations, I am not even going to give that relationship a second thought because I just move on really fast without looking back. (That’s it from Faith guys).And for real, no one should be in a relationship with someone who does not support their dreams and ambitions, I tell my friends that before love found you, this partner of yours had something he or she was doing with their lives.
Let’s talk about depression.We actually live in a world of complete uncertainty, we practically have no idea about what could happen the next minute and the way things changes within the shortest time possible is actually way out of this world. I believe depression is really important and it is a topic that needs to be discussed all the time, the alarming rate with which people are committing suicide is heart breaking and in my own little way, I would really love to make my own contribution to end this problem. American Psychiatric Association defined depression as a common and serious medical illness that negatively affects how a person feels, how a person thinks and how a person acts. Depression contributes to a feeling of sadness and loss of interest in various activities that once appeared interesting to the individual, depression also reduces individual’s ability to function both at home and at work.Symptoms of Depression.Depression slides in slowly and in most cases without the individual’s notice. It is important for us to identify these symptoms, so when we begin to notice slight changes in ourselves or in someone else, we know it is something to be worried about.The first thing is the constant feeling of sadness, the moment you begin to have that feeling of emptiness and you are in a low spirit at all times, it is definitely something to get worried about.Secondly, the moment you find someone who feels guilty about everything and tries to blame himself or herself for every bad situation, definitely this is a big sign to be careful about.The third sign to watch out for, is when you begin to have trouble getting a good sleep, the moment there is difficulty associated with having a good rest, then you should start suspecting the possible signs of depression going on there.When you also find it difficult to think, concentrate or make any sound decision then it is a possible sign of depression to watch out for.Constantly pacing around and the complete lack of concentration is something to watch out for.Also when you have someone who seem to be acting frustrated at the slightest occurrence of a situation, then that is a sign to be careful about as well.The possible thought of suicide is a big sign to watch out for, when you have gone through all these signs listed above and then your mind begins to get around how you might possibly need to end your own life, then at that point things are completely getting out of hand. I want you to however understand that being sad and being depressed are completely two different things, the occurrence of an unfortunate event could result in a sad feeling (which is normal), but the moment this feeling of sadness isn’t controlled, it definitely could definitely escalate into a feeling of depression. Possible Causes of Depression. Depression could occur as a result of accumulated sadness, sadness could occur from one of these situations:Family issues: Most of us are strongly attached to families and sometimes when a bad family situations occur, it has a great tendency to make a person become really sad that it begins to generate into depression.Pressure from work: There are so many things that could go wrong with work, there are people who put in so much effort into work and get nothing to show for it, this of course could result into a painful feeling of sadness which could generate into depression.Relationship issues: This one is a very big issue, matters of the heart are highly delicate and having an issue with one’s love affair has the tendency to make anyone go into depression.These and many more reasons are very strong factors that makes people become depressed but gladly, there are ways to overcome depression, but the very first process is to identify the fact that you might be walking in the line of depression and then identify the possible cause of the depression. For every case of depression there must be a reason behind it and identifying the possible reason be
Hello hello my people… How are you all doing? Like play like play we have approached another weekend oooo, d way time is running fast ehn, it just keeps reminding me that we really need to put significant effort into everything we do.So, today we will be talking about sincerity in a relationship. My personal opinion is that relationships should be built on complete sincerity and trust for one another. However, there is a popular opinion that there are times when you need to lie to your partner about certain issues in order to secure the relationship.You see this issue of lying to your partner about certain things have saved certain relationships but some relationships have been lost as well due to the lies told.I believe this issue ehn is just completely based on personality. For real, some people like to be lied to, they sincerely prefer to ignore every atom of truth, as long as those lies keeps their heart together then they are just fine with it and I won't even blame the people who think this way because really why listen to a truth that will shatter my heart when I can listen to sweet lies that will help me mantain my sanity hmmm hmmmmmBut then again… why on Earth would I want someone to lie to me just because I want to feel happy? I also know about people who will rather face the truth and damn the consequences of how much it will hurts them. As long as you are being sincere with those words, they are just fine with it. So for the people in this category, yes ooo tell me the truth ooo irrespective of how heartbreaking it will be, let me Sha know that u are saying the truth.So, let's say your partner cheats on you. Would you prefer he or she tells you or would you prefer that he lies to you and hides it from you even after you have a raised suspicion about it? Hmm hmmmAnd to some Ladies, chai una too like better thing (Me self like better thing ooo) make I no lie. But ehn why do we often prefer that guy that tells us lies rather than the one that comes out plain to us? Anyways it looks like those lies are a soothing balm to some Ladies ooo coz even when it is obvious that there are lies going on, they just want to get their heads filled with it and the reason behind this… I really cannot tell.I am not even going to lie that this isn't a gender based thing because I know of some guys who like to be lied too as well. They obviously see d truth staring at them in d eye but they definitely pick the lies over the truth.Like Simi said in one of her songs: Lie to me,if the truth will break my heart oooo. That is simply d reality of most of us, we will pick the lies over and over again as long as it keeps our heart safe.And for some of us in another angle, we will definitely pick the truth a million times over because that is the only way we are sure that we are moving on the right path. So please feel free to make use of d comment section and let me know what your choice is and the reason why you made that choice.Thank you for joining me on the show today,I am Tobi, your anchor on this show and I am signing out with love asking you my Darling's to have a beautiful weekend and please remember to stay loved and beautiful.
Hey guys, welcome to today’s episode of the gist with Tobi, I am extremely excited to have you on the show today. Today’s topic needs total interaction, so I will be expecting you my intelligent audience to make use of the comment section to drop your feed backs.I am sure that by now, you guys already know how much I love love, like I will just be smiling and blushing like a baby when I see two people who are genuinely in love with one another, it is always a beautiful sight to behold. However we cannot ignore the fact that, true love seem to be going into extinction these days, people go into relationships for very wrong reasons, others go in for the right reasons and put them self through pain because they simply want to remain in a relationship that is not totally healthy.Today, I will be sharing the story of an amazing person that I admire so much, she gave me an hint some time ago that she had gone through a crazy love series and when I was thinking about today’s topic, I figured out it was the right time to have her share her story not just with me but with every beautiful person listening to this episode.Without any delay, let’s get to the story of the day. Thank you for coming around and if you enjoy this episode, then do not forget to like, share and hit the subscribe button.Hi Tobi, I would love you to please keep me anonymous. The story is, I actually had this school sweetheart, we started dating in my second year in the university I loved this guy so much that I was willing to do anything for him, at that point I actually thought he loved me back but now I know that the young man was not so into me after all, but the reasons why he did the things he did I cannot still say. We were both financially down at the time considering the fact that we were not from wealthy homes, it was a complete struggle through school but gratefully we survived that.I liked the fact that he had a hustling spirit so I supported everything he did, I literarily ignored myself, and like I gave in everything to support his dreams it was so bad that if someone offered me a job, I would prefer that he goes for the interview instead. I just wanted him to be happy and I felt that the moment things begins to get good for him, then we will be fine. At the time we were already staying together sha and that was because we literarily put every fund we had together to survive on what we had. So instead of renting different apartments after school, we put our resources together and stayed in one apartment hoping that things will get better while we tried our best. After some time, it was as if the heavens listened to my plea and he just got one huge connect, at that point our financial level moved from zero to five instantly and I was super grateful for it. I am not really a lavish person, so I did not start thinking about expensive cloths and hair rather we talked about making investments and all that. I was thinking we were made and I was innocently expecting this babe of mine to open the business I told him about for me but every time I mentioned it to him, he will tell me has bigger plans and I foolishly believed everything he said. When he started travelling for trips, I was thinking we would go together as usual, but this guy will always give me a reason why I could not go with him. As if that was not enough, he started to complain about my looks so bad, nothing I wore was attractive to him any longer.Let me even mention this part to you, there was a day I called him while he was on a business trip and a lady picked up the phone telling me he was unavailable to pick up my call and to make matters worse I heard him laughing underneath. It was after that time I knew that something was definitely wrong somewhere and when he came back home after that trip, for the first time in that relationship I scrolled through his phone.Tobi, I locked myself in the room and I cried my heart out that day.
Hey guys, how are you doing? It is another beautiful week. I am grateful for the opportunity to speak to you and I am even more grateful to have a beautiful soul like you who listens to me. You are beautiful and special, thanks for trusting me enough to listen to this programme.We live in a world where people are more focused on their weaknesses rather than strengths. One of the main reasons behind this act is the fact that social media paints us the picture of people who have a perfect life. Everyday we wake up to the media and we see people who look as if everything about their existence is perfect so we begin to beat ourselves up for not being good enough for societal standards.I am not one to tell you to ignore social media because once in a while we all need that dose of entertainment which can readily be found on social media. Information can be found there as well, it however becomes a problem when you try to beat yourself down because you think you are not just as perfect as some people you see on the media.No one was created perfect, you must understand that people do not display the down sides of their lives on social media, the only side they display is what they feel people would like to see. If you then go ahead to look down on yourself as a result of that information, then my dear you are on a long thing.I must mention that it is highly important for us to identify our weaknesses and focus on how to improve them. There is definitely no weakness that cannot be improved on or adjusted, you just need to put your mind to it and seek necessary help. During the process of seeking help, it is very important to identify areas of strength and utilize it appropriately instead of looking down at those areas of flaws.For instance, you are not good academically but you are strong in entertainment and social relationships. While it is important for you to try to improve on your academic skill, you can pride yourself in the area of entertainment and build a brand of it. Please note that I mentioned that there is always room for improvement but it is necessary for you to pride yourself in those areas of strength first.Bad comparison kills talent a lot, let's say you are a very good cook but you admire the dance skill of a social media influencer who happens to be making a lot of money. Instead of trying day and night to become the dancer that you are not naturally skilled at, it will make more sense to channel that energy towards improving your cooking skill and monetize it as well. Who knows, you might even make more money than the dancer on a weekly basis.I strongly believe that life will be much easier if we learn to improve on our areas of strength and utilize it appropriately rather than beating ourselves up over the things we do not have the ability to change.I hope you find this podcast section helpful and I hope that you become a better version of yourself everyday. Thanks for listening, until we meet again on the next episode of the gist with Tobi. I remain your girl Tobi and I wish you a fruitful week.
Let me begin today's podcast by sincerely apologising to you my lovely listeners for the long silence, I apologize from d depth of my heart. The messages I received from you guys asking about my well-being made me feel loved and I want u to know that I do not take your act of kindness for granted. I sincerely appreciate.On today's episode of gist with Tobi, we'll be talking about the pressure to get married in Nigeria. If you are from a typical Nigeria home, then you will understand how important the ceremony of marriage is. Over here people really do not care if you are happy in the marriage or not, all they want to hear is that you are married and you stay married.We watch our parents go through crazy things in marriage either from their partners or from in-laws and for the sake of cultural believes, they choose to take every form of abuse the marriage throws at them just to bear that title of being married.The most annoying things is the way parents who are going through hell in their marriage still think that pressurizing their own children into marriage just to fit into societal standard is the best thing to do. You just need to get to the age of 23 and above before the society begins to pressurize you about marital issues. it now looks as if any lady above 25 years of age and is unmarried needs to seek help.So, my Mum is a typical African Mum and even if sometimes I try to make her see things from my own view, she only needs to hear that one of her friends child is getting married before she begins to remind me about my age and the reasons why it is important for a female child to get married on time.I have learnt not to even argue with her, I just tell her it's owk and I keep mute which even seems to make her more angry because she feels I am not just serious about the issue.Now, before you allow the society push you into marriage when you are not ready for it, it is neccessary for you to consider these things:1. Marriage requires a lot of emotional and mental stability, there are things that will happen during your marital journey that will require a strong amount of mental health to pull through. now, if you cannot handle pressure as an individual, how do you intend to handle pressure coming from spouse and in-laws.2. Are you financially capable? With the economic situation of this country, if you allow people pressure you into marriage when you are not financially stable? then you are own your own oooo.3. Are you ready to allow someone else into your space? Like seriously, if you have been living alone for sometime, are you comfortable enough to share your room and even a certain level of privacy to your spouse
People are very quick to make judgmental statements whenever there is a little downtime in other people’s lives. Social media is even making things amplified, just a little down time in business or life in general and almost every blog is talking about it which makes me wonder how these popular celebrities get to keep their sanity most of the time. Now, listen to me and listen well, everyone at a certain point in their lives experience downtimes so your own experience of unfortunate circumstance should not make you feel that all hope is lost completely because you are not alone in the boat. Bad news are easy to get spread very fast and the moment something bad is happening to someone, everyone wants to talk about it, everyone wants to be a part of the journey and everyone wants to make it obvious that they know something about how well this successful person has failed but you know what Darling, there is something in you that is peculiar to you and the fact that you are in a deep mess right now does not mean you will not be able to find your way to the top again.During that period of extreme storm and difficulty, irrespective of how tough it gets you need to keep your mind stabilized on the positive side of the entire situation. I am definitely sure that it will be difficult to do this but trust me when I say that having a positive vibe has a great tendency to illuminate your life during the dark season.The intimidation behind the possibility of having something go wrong all the time is the reason why millions of people never get out of the shadow. Yeah, I understand the fact that you tried once and it just did not work out the way you would have loved it too but mehn that should not prevent you from trying. The fact that you failed at some point in your life should not be a limiting factor towards your success and aspirations, listen to me real good, you just experienced the same thing that other successful people experienced as at some points in their lives as well.It is necessary for you to break free from those life breaking factors that have a way of tying you down and reducing your ability to advance and grow. Break away from friends that try to tell you about those things you cannot do all the time, stay away from people who have the job to always make you feel less at all times. You see, those people that you spend your time with, they are the perfect definition of how your life is going to turn out to be and this makes it important for you to ask yourself if you are hanging out with the right set of humans.There are periods when you need to break away from people who have toxic attitudes, I understand that sometimes you might have developed a strong bond with some set of people but today I want you to look towards the bright future. You cannot move away from the point where you are to the point where you want to get to until you disassociate yourself from certain people and then realize that the fulfilment of destiny is definitely greater than those toxic relationships you have surrounded yourself with.You must also realize that the fact that certain people are not good for you does not make them bad people either, their values and your future may not just align and it is important that the both parties respect that. Do not be too afraid to loose people because you will always have better people coming along all the time as you advance in life.It is fine that you have made a mistake, learn from the mistakes real quick and take necessary corrections. Guilt is a destroyer of happiness, if you constantly feel guilty over those things that you have done in the past you will never be able to get into the promising future that you deserve. Break free from the shackles of pain and setbacks, be proud of the point that you are coming from, ignore the accusing fingers and make your way to the top where you belong with the bold confidence of putting your past right behind you.
The crazy feeling of entitlement that people have towards other people's wealth and fortune is increasing on a daily basis and I feel that is a very terrible idea. It is wrong for you to think that other people should give you what they have worked for.
There are several misconceptions that happens to one in life but matters of the heart needs to be genuinely clarified, you need to be sure that you are in a relationship with a partner who feels the same about you and not just deceive yourself in the process.
Life isn't really fair especially when it comes to matters of the heart. I believe that real love still exists but I feel it is just very scarce. People really just want to eat their cake and have it all the time.
Life isn't all smooth and rosy and our reaction to the periods of storm will determine our outcome. Keep the faith and continue to improve all the time.
With the urge to earn more financially, it is easy for us to neglect the place of growth and up skill, but growing and setting better standards has never been old. It is necessary for us to constantly develop ourselves and become better all the time.
We live in a society where people think it cool only to act to the wealthy ones and that is one reason why people are pushed to engage in criminal activities. It is great to act cool and respectful to people irrespective of their social stand and financial status.
Self love provides us with the strength to move on with life, self love provides us with the courage to fight battles and win on all grounds.
The value that you give to yourself is the way other people will value you. Love yourself enough to believe in yourself, get the courage to correct past mistakes and jump to making things better.
It is very easy to slide into the category of someone who just loves to collect from friends and then add nothing back to them. Life should be a circle of give and take, learn how to make contributions to other people's lives no matter how little it is.
People always provides you with several suggestions but you are the one who gets the blame for the end product, you need to be extremely careful about whom you choose to listen to and whom you authorize with the power to direct your life.
Trying to boast about your financial achievement is not a yardstick for you to find love at all so if you are still doing that I feel it is completely unnecessary.....
Every word that proceeds out of our mouth carries serious power and we must be very careful about the things we say to ourselves and to the people around us.
Growing up in Nigeria is a completely different ball game and screaming seem to be a part of this training process, although not all Nigerian parents are the same but for most of them, it's the same old story.
The world that we live in is filled with extremely crazy people and of course some of us do not have the energy to fight back or act crazy like them, this episode will guide you on how to keep calm even if everything around you seems crazy.