19 Year Old Shrink: Recent Episodes
Will Giangrande
At first glance you’re probably thinking this show was made by that guy going up to people at parties asking about their self development and meditation experience; and so would I. After all, I'm a 19 year old dude hopping in front of a mic talking about feelings. Actually, this podcast was created during the struggles of Covid and is used as a vehicle to deliver on the areas where we have fallen short in our lives. I interview business leaders, sports figures, life coaches and many more influencers. I ask them the questions I think you would want answered. Join me every week for a new episode, new interview, and new insight!
This episode was definitely a bittersweet one to record. After interviewing my father for my first episode, I had the privilege of interviewing him for my last. Throughout this conversation, we talk about the insecurities that come with the adjustment of college to post grad. He discusses how there is the misconception that the fun ends after college, but mentions that our definitions of fun just change, it doesn't end altogether.
Later on, I had the chance to ask him more personal questions about his own life and the memories that he has created, while being able to wrap things up with my own words about the last three years and what all of your support has meant to me. Highly recommend tuning into this episode if you are a college graduate, or if you would like to hear the conclusion of this show!
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In this episode, I reference Merrick Rosenberg's book, "The Chameleon," regarding personality traits and team building. Through his work, he has developed a fun and unique way to have personality research resonate more with readers of his content!
I mention the four different birds that he uses to describe the various types of people that exist. Parrot's, doves, owls, and eagles represent our unique society that struggles together as well as thrives together.
I incorporate some of my own personal examples of depictions of birds within pop culture, and use experiences from my own life to help crystalize Merrick's points further. If you have ever asked yourself questions regarding your own personality, or want to learn how to communicate better with those with different personalities, I highly recommend checking this episode out!
https://merrickrosenberg.com/taking-flight/
https://www.amazon.com/Chameleon-Life-Changing-Wisdom-Personality-Someone/dp/0996411003
@19yearoldshrinkpodcast
In this episode, I address the question that all college graduates have been asked recently, which is "What's Next?" It can definitely be an anxiety provoking question, and could be followed with an uncertain answer. Fortunately, for some people, they have a job lined up right after and can answer! But, there are others who might not have their next step sorted out, or might know exactly what they are doing but it's not the traditional path and are a bit worried about how their career choice is perceived by others.
I fall under the third category and talk about my struggles with this, as well as give different techniques to shift your mindset. In addition, I talk about those people who don't have it figured out and ways to give yourself more credit for taking action. Lastly, for those who have their job lined up, I give a bit of advice on how to check in with yourself weekly to track your progress with your exciting new job, and be able to go from there.
If you are looking for relatable anecdotes along with advice on different stages of the job search process after graduation, highly recommend checking this one out!
@19yearoldshrinkpodcast
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-s6DQrqVHxM- Brene Brown Video
In this one I interview my friend Max about his experience training for a triathlon. He gives valuable insight into all of the ways of preparation for an event such as this one, including the physical and mental training required. We hear about Max's initial experiences with meditation as well as the value of having an accountability partner. Lastly, we dive into his interest in sociology and economics and where he has focused his attention in school and how he wants to help society later on. Tune in for more!
In this episode. I talk about a concept that I discovered through Mel Robbins. She mentions the five second rule as a helpful technique for when you experience anxiety in your life. Whenever an intrusive thought comes into your mind, count down from 5 and then find your way to your anchor thought. This thought can be anything that brings you ease; something funny, memorable, or a happy thought. An example I talked about was Happy Gilmore's "Happy Place" in the movie, when he was getting frustrated.
In addition, I mention using the five second rule to act in time sensitive opportunities. Whenever you have some opportunity in your life that won't last long, whether it's introducing yourself to a potential partner or someone in business, these are examples of that. The five second rule can be a useful technique to create that structure in your life where you commit to following through on something unconditionally. We all have been in places where these thoughts come into play, so tune in for more helpful tips!
https://wisdom-for-life.com/5-second-rule-for-anxiety/
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This episode is about all things acting! I interviewed my friend Peter and acquaintance Cole to understand the psychology behind acting and everything that goes into portraying a certain character. From stories of Chex mix urges gone wrong to understanding how to reveal a certain emotion through acting, one can begin to understand all of the intricacies behind the industry. Both Peter and Cole gave such valuable insight into their own experience and skills, which was a pleasure to hear about. Tune in for more, link in bio!
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In this episode I talk about how more structure in life can lead to having more freedom. I use an example of waiting until the last minute to do your homework to hangout with friends and then worrying the entire time that you’re with your friends to finish that assignment.
The idea of anticipating instead of reacting is a topic brought up multiple times where someone takes the time out of their day to plan their schedule out so they can leave time for the things they enjoy. If you sometimes struggle with waiting until the last minute to do something or feel trapped in different tasks because of lack of planning, tune in for some advice!
@19yearoldshrinkpodcast
In this episode, I talk about learning how to become more self reliant and how this allows us to develop more confidence. After reading a valuable article from forbes, I began to learn more about why self reliance is so important. Some of the points it referenced were ones ability to think independently, know ones values, and to use our own references to help make decisions.
I added some of my own experiences in addition to the ones in the article. One of these is understanding our own values and motives for life and using a "Filter" to eliminate anything that isn't valuable or best suited for our own development as people. So, an important takeaway is to realize that being self reliant doesn't mean never taking any advice from anyone. But, my opinion about being self reliant is understanding our own core values and embracing the insights of other people if they are making a positive impact on our own lives. But, if they aren't learning to disregard advice is really valuable.
Another point about self reliance is realizing that no person goes it alone. Every person that has ever been successful in life has built a team around them to grow themselves out of their comfort zone. But, from my own experience, what impacts this is when someone else wants something for you when you might not want it for yourself. Where your parent wants this job for you, or wants this relationship for you, you may take the steps to pursue these things but it isn't what YOU really want. And when this happens, we sometimes fall victim to relying on other people for what they want for us.
This episode talks about all things self confidence, and how we can build a healthy balance of relying on our own intuition while also building a positive and uplifting team around us to become better individuals for ourselves and others. Tune in for more!
@19yearoldshrinkpodcast
Forbes Article:
https://www.forbes.com/sites/forbescoachescouncil/2019/10/17/how-self-reliance-builds-your-self-confidence/?sh=5d8d05932e57
In this episode I talk about being helpful without giving advice. This is something I still to this day am learning to do but it can sometimes be difficult.
Our friends come to us looking for comfort or to vent, and we always feel like we need to offer answers. This allows us to feel like we are giving them something in return for what they expected, but sometimes they don’t necessarily need advice.
Maybe they are looking to have an objective opinion, actual advice, or even a shoulder to cry on. And having a conversation before the conversation about the goals of the talk can be really helpful for having a healthy dialogue. Learning what your friend is looking for and then going from there.
If they do ask for advice though, learning to guide them to their own answers through the questions you ask can be a powerful tactic to help them. For more info in the episode, tune in for more!
In this episode I talk about how we use defense mechanisms in our lives. Didn’t really know what defense mechanisms were until I took one of my classes this semester and realized how much we sometimes use them.
Basically, defense mechanisms are used as a way to protect our ego and to lessen anxiety that we might experience in life. Some of the defense mechanisms are rationalization, projection, denial, which are all done as a way to keep the negativity off of us. One of the ones I think we see most often is rationalization.
We might choose not to study for a test as much as we should or eat poorly, but we say, “It’s alright everyone is doing it.” If we were to take the fault for those things ourselves, it would be a lot more uncomfortable to our ego. But when we feel in community with others in our shortcomings, then we feel at peace.
Later on in the episode, I talk about different ways we can recognize these defense mechanisms playing out in our lives, and how we can grow from this awareness. Tune in for more!
@19yearoldshrinkpodcast
We often have a negative bias towards anxiety. In this episode, I explain how we can view anxiety from a positive perspective. In my own life, I look at anxiety as having 3 tiers.
Tier 1: A place where we aren't really acting too much and would have too little anxiety. An example of this would be knowing a test is coming up but not paying attention to the material or the deadline.
Tier 2: This IS the sweet spot. This is where you have enough anxiety where you are alerted to act, but don't let that idea consume your thoughts with worry. This would be knowing that an exam is coming up, and creating a study guide and plan a couple weeks in advance so that you avoid Tier 3 anxiety.
Tier 3: This is where you are worrying too much. I think this is where we often associate the negative connotations with anxiety. You have reached a place where worry is getting in the way of you acting and being productive. This is where all you are focusing on is the "What if's" of failing the test. And instead of being action oriented, you crumble under pressure and focus solely on the worrying.
For the rest of this episode, I focus on how you can use this understanding of anxiety to your advantage in whatever way works best for you! That is up to you to decide and to become aware of in your life. But, if you are someone who has had a difficult relationship with anxiety, definitely tune in today!
@19yearoldshrinkpodcast
In this episode, I talk about the Wayne Dyer Quote, “Be open to everything and attached to nothing.” I think it is such a valuable mentality to have in our lives and embracing all new experiences that come our way.
I talk about the movie, “Yes Man” with Jim Carey, which is a perfect example of this. He starts out having a very glass half empty personality, always blowing his friends off to sit home and sulk. But, after being approached by a man who called him out for his negativity, he attended this convention called Yes.
He was told that he must say yes to everything and see where life takes him. Of course this is an exaggeration where we can’t say yes to everything, but it was a helpful reminder. Carey’s character began seeing more excitement in his life and he felt more alive.
Then, there’s the flip side to it where we need to learn to be open to things and not be attached to them. Allowing ourselves to realize what is in our control and what is not. And from there we can live the most free version of our life and see our experiences transform in front of us. Tune in for more!
@19yearoldshrinkpodcast
This episode breaks down how we develop our own unique personalities and what domains influence the different traits we develop. Topics of environment, upbringing, biology, and more help dive more deeply into this issue. Tune in for more!
In this episode I talk about overanalyzing situations and how it can lead to us hurting our own feelings. It can become easy to read too easily into other peoples actions and create a story around why they are acting a certain way.
We begin reflecting back on every little detail that we said and start worrying whether we might have hurt their feelings. And this might not be everyone, maybe it’s just me. But after awhile, we find out that they were upset with something completely unrelated to us, and then we realize how much time we wasted over thinking.
Additionally, I will talk about ways in which we might hurt our own feelings by over analyzing and how others have helped me and can help you get to a better place. Tune in for more!
In this episode, Howard Behar talks about how he helped build the Starbucks Empire with Howard Shultz and Orin Smith. Throughout this talk, he alludes to servant leadership as the key to success in this business venture.
Recognizing relationships and people as the ultimate factor in creating a successful business, I learned so much about the human factor of life. Howard wrote 2500 letters every month to employees for birthdays and company anniversaries as a way to foster recognition and community in the company.
In addition, he coined the phrase, “the person that sweeps the floor should choose the broom.” Sometimes it’s difficult for CEOs to let go of the control of their company, but Howard emphasized giving the people power so they can feel they have a say in the company.
This talk was such a humbling conversation as someone who is entering the professional world. Understanding that someone who helped expand from 28 to over 15,000 in 5 continents key to success was relationships was a very important lesson that I and others can benefit from.
If you want to hear more about the Starbucks history and their steps to make it to the company it is today, tune in for more!
Howards Contact Info:
hb@howardbehar.com
206-972-7776
In this episode I talk with my friend Summer who is currently a marketing data analyst at Deloitte. She breaks down why she began to budget and how she organizes her budgeting in her own life.
She talks about the greater amount of freedom she has had because of the structure in her spending habits. Through this talk, I was able to see how much taking the time out of your day to budget can allow you to say yes to opportunities.
As the episode continues, Summer talks more about how she has learned to budget her time and different pieces of advice she has for those who may be entering a new chapter of their life after college.
Through this, I learned how everyone has a different meaning attached to money, and her ability to spend the time managing it has allowed her to have such amazing experiences that she can say yes to. Tune into this episode for more information!
@19yearoldshrinkpodcast
linkedin.com/in/slee209
With graduation looming, I talk about a feeling that a lot of people have probably experienced at one point in time. You may not have found a job yet or might not even know what to do, and it can be scary.
And what we do in those situations is begin measuring ourselves against others, “They figured out in October, they are better than me.” “Why don’t I have as many interviews as this person? All of these thoughts trigger negativity and we begin attributing it to our identity.
And this doesn’t need to be with jobs but with everything in life. Whether it be doing chores around the house, traveling, getting married, we constantly are comparing ourselves to others.
There is always these timelines for us to get things done. Get a job after college, get married by 30, the list goes on. But what we can appreciate is that even the most successful people, did it in the most unconventional way.
And this episode will break down this struggle and talk about ways to have a different perspective. Being able to appreciate that we all need to go our own path and not get too wrapped up in the expectations of what we are told. If this is something that you struggle with or see close ones struggling with, tune in for more info!
@19yearoldshrinkpodcast
In this episode, I talk about using delayed gratification as a means to build self confidence. Many times, it's easy to watch that extra episode of The Office, or eat that extra slice of pizza, or scroll on Instagram for another hour. We choose to do this instead of the more beneficial and long lasting solution for happiness. And from my own struggles with this, I have realized that it's because we have a better idea of what that pleasure feels like with things in the present moment.
We are able to have a greater imagination of what that pleasure feels like because it is more tangible than something that is a year down the line. We won't be able to see and feel the rewards a year from now of running everyday until a year from now. And because of this, we sometimes fail to do the right thing and consequently resort to those immediate pleasures.
Throughout this talk, I use meditation as an example of something that makes our future rewards more desirable because we take the time to visualize those rewards. As a result, we are able to bring our less imagined rewards to the present for us to make more sound and beneficial decisions. In addition, I discuss using journaling as a way to record the things we say no to as a way to give us proof we aren't always choosing the easy and convenient thing.
All of these habits are used as ways to delay gratification and to build more self confidence in every area of our life. If you struggle to make long lasting decisions towards happiness, definitely tune in!
@19yearoldshrinkpodcast
In this episode, I talk about why we use excuses in so many areas of life. Sometimes we attribute being busy as a legitimate excuse. But when doing this, we need to contemplate whether that thing we are trying to avoid is that important to us. And if it is, then why are we getting consumed with less important things in our life? Those things that we truly value in life should supersede any other tasks on our daily agenda.
As the episode continues, I talk about how our excuses can also give us insight into the things that we can learn to say no to in our life. This part recognizes the process of contemplation as a way to narrow in on those things that we value most in our life. If you are someone who finds themselves making excuses consistently or are around people that do, tune in for more information!
@19yearoldshrinkpodcast
In this episode I talk about our mindsets with our friendships at times. Sometimes we feel as though we are reaching out to some of our friends much more than they are to us. And we can get in our head about it and think we are bothering them when we are doing that.
But, after a conversation with my dad, he taught me a very valuable lesson about never keeping score in friendships. When we feel discouraged and hesitant about reaching out to people that we have become really close with over the years, that in itself can hurt our friendships.
And through this episode, we will learn about ways to reconsider those negative thoughts about our friendships in our life. Tune in for more!
In this episode, I talk about the presence of trauma bonding in our relationships. This type of bonding involves the emotional attachment that we feel to a relationship despite the trauma that we have experienced from it. And this can be with friends, family, romantic partners, etc.
We’ve all seen people and maybe even ourselves keep going back to people that aren’t benefiting us in any way, shape, or form. But we keep doing it. And you might be confused as to why people keep going back to relationships that always cause trauma. But, that’s not always the case.
A lot of times these relationships involve a cyclical nature, where the person is abusive to their partner, they apologize with some sort of grand gesture, and fall back into the same habit as before. This leads the person who is a victim of this treatment to start putting the weight on themselves to help “fix” the other person.
Through this episode, we will begin to understand that these relationships are more difficult to let go of than we might think, but with certain tips and tricks provided, we can take the right steps to do it. Tune in for more!
https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/trauma-bonding
In this episode I discuss why the future is such a consistent worry in society. Much of the time we spend worrying about the past and the future, which are uncontrollable as we are living in the present moment. We don't take the time out of our day to recognize and appreciate the here and now and use our present to create a desirable future.
Some of the things for me that make me worried about the future is excessive watching of the news. There is so much uncertainty in the news and this spills over into my personal life which makes me even more hesitant in my life. This isn't to say never to watch the news, but being aware of boundaries to establish to live a happy and healthy life is important.
In order to embrace the future instead of being terrified of it, we can also look at the uncertainty as part of the fun. If we were certain about everything, there would be no mystery! And when we do have those constant worries, being able to talk with someone more experienced and has walked a similar path can be such a huge help in our lives. Tune in for more information!
In this episode, I talk about giving yourself credit through self affirmations. A lot of times, we prioritize the deadlines and assignments we have and put the self help things off to the side. But, these little things that we can do every day can pay huge dividends for our mental health down the road. Something as simple as putting post it notes with great qualities of yourself on the mirror to look at in the morning is one example.
Especially using different color post it notes to emphasize the differing qualities that you have in yourself. Or, putting notes inside a book you are often reading . We usually think that these steps need to be monstrous for us to make any improvement, but it really comes down to 10-15 minutes a day. This episode continues to recognize the power of self affirmations and how we can take control of our lives rather than our lives taking control of us. Tune in for more!
In this episode, I discuss the 5 different types of mentors that I learned about in my management class. These include: traditional, inspirational, step-ahead, peer, and family member mentor. Traditional recognizes one person who has more experience than another and is guiding them in their process of developing more skills in a specific area.
Inspirational is someone who you might not see every single day but has such a profound impact on you and your life. This might be someone who wrote a book that you swear by, or have a podcast or show that has guided you during some very difficult times.
Step-ahead mentor is someone who is a little further ahead of you in the stages of life. The example I used in the episode was someone who just graduated college being a mentor to a senior in college. Answering questions about social life after college, workplace environment, and the transition from one stage to another are some examples of how a step ahead mentor can guide their mentee.
A peer mentor is someone who you are very close with that may be someone that you envy. You admire them as a person and confide in them enough to ask them questions on how to live a better and more meaningful life. They are able to give you the friends perspective to things which is another helpful technique.
Lastly, a family member mentor. Many people look up to their parents or older siblings for instilling certain values in them and ways to live out ones life. This is a perfect example of people who are the most similar to you being able to impart their wisdom onto you so that you can evolve into who you're supposed to become.
After being given these different mentors, I talk about ways to attract them into your life and discuss the questions you could be asking yourself in order to become the best version of who you are meant to be. Tune in to learn more!
In this episode, I talk about how perceptions influence our everyday life. It is amazing how two people can experience the same event and have two completely different emotional responses to that event! This is where perception comes into play. Through internal factors such as emotions, memories, and values as well as external factors involving media, societal norms, and culture, we see our perceptions influencing the lense at which we view life.
Throughout the episode, I also discuss the different filters of perception including; stereotypes, selective perception, projection, expectations, and interests. Through these, we see the individualized impacts of perceptions and how we sometimes fall victim to negative perceptions as well as adopting positive ones.
This episode concludes with the discussion of the differing perceptions of all people, and how acknowledging and accepting these can lead to a more positive and harmonious life. Tune in for more!
In this episode, I discuss the evolution of our values in the different stages of our life. We have all heard the cliche phrase, "Enjoy being young, because as soon as you know it you'll be old like me!" And whenever I used to hear this saying, I would become discouraged because I assumed that we would just become victims of our circumstances of being old.
But, now I have realized that it's more about how our values will evolve as we become older. When we are young we are so adventurous, trying new things, and exploring what works for us and what doesn't. But, then as time goes on, some individuals want to give back to children and raise a family. They begin to settle down and spend more time with their kids instead of traveling all the time.
And this example shows me how it's not always a matter of the decisions being made for you, but what you want out of your life is evolving from stage to stage. If you are someone who wants to learn more about how our values change over time, tune in to this episode!
In this episode, I bring up some tips and tricks about what I learned in my managing yourself class at LMU. When trying to have a meaningful and productive conversation, ensuring that we are focusing our attention on the present moment is vital. Multitasking is one way where we become knocked out of the present moment and keeps us from getting close to others.
A couple other points brought up are not using our own experiences to try and make them feel more at ease. Sometimes, this is a successful method, but if we do it too much, we might come off as making their problems seem less than ours.
Another concept was being able to have a conversation about the conversation before having it. Ask the person if they want advice, or if they just want to vent. Learning to understand the motives behind the conversation is so important in setting up success for the talk. If you are interested in learning more about the do's and don'ts of a productive conversation, tune in now!
In this episode I talk about quiet leadership. A lot of times, we associate the word “leader” with someone who is outspoken and the loudest voice in the room.
But, what many people don’t realize is how many leaders there are that are quiet. They guide others through the actions more so than their words. Or they might not speak often, but when they do, it always has meaning attached to it.
If you are someone who might not think of yourself as a leader because of that stereotype, this is definitely a helpful listen. Hopefully throughout this episode you will begin to see that even if you don’t speak much, your impact can be felt greatly.
A quote by Maya Angelou I always love is, “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” And after listening, you will see how this quote ties into the overall message of the episode. Tune in for more!
In this episode, I talk about something we all do; yawn! According to pbs.org, adults yawn on average 20 times a day! Throughout this talk, I not only discuss why we yawn and why it is contagious. I also mention the idea of empathy in yawning and how it is related to mirroring for other people in our life. For romantic interests or close friendships, often times we mirror what the other person is doing to establish rapport. And although yawning occurs on a more subconscious level, I can relate to it being a way to establish connection with relationship oriented people.
When listening to this episode, you might wonder; why do you care so much about something so little? Sometimes it's important to step back and be curious about the little things around us. By doing this, we can become more appreciative of the human experience and ask ourselves questions about why certain things are the way they are. And wondering about yawning is a perfect example of that. If you are interested in some science behind yawning, tune in now!
In this episode, I summarize Dan Ariely's Ted Talk about how our decisions are subconsciously influenced. He uses the table and rubik's cube example to paint the picture of how visually our mind plays tricks on us. Since visual representation is easier to pick up on than cognitive, he emphasizes that more mistakes are bound to be made when dealing with cognitive influences.
Some of the examples he used were the differing percentages of donors across countries and how the phrasing of the DMV form in the corresponding countries led to those percentages. Also, we learn about the effect of the third bad choice being included in our decisions has and what the subtraction of it can do to our future conclusions.
I use the "Wife and the Step Mother" painting as an example of illusions visually as well as having to decide between houses as a way to further support Dan Ariely's point.
If you are interested in learning more about how our decisions are influenced more than we think, tune in!
https://www.ted.com/talks/dan_ariely_are_we_in_control_of_our_own_decisions?language=en
In this episode I discuss ways to start off the new school year on the right foot. Much of the advice came from Ed Mylett and his new book, “The Power of One More.” In this one, he talks about the idea of how many people approach life: as a marathon. They only check in with themselves once or twice a year around New Years to see how they’ve done with their goals and what they want to accomplish the next year.
But he mentions how more success comes from constantly having checkpoints to monitor your success and treating them as little sprints instead of a marathon. When we have little sprints of action, we speed up the urgency of getting things done.
He describes his way of doing this as 3 days in one. Instead of saying, “I want to get this accomplished today,” he says, “Day 1 I will do this, Day 2 this, and Day 3 I will do this.” He organizes his days like this: 6 am to 12 pm is day one, 12 pm to 6 pm is day 2, and 6 pm to 12 am is day 3.
By doing this, he sees himself accomplishing 3 days of work in one days time, and compounded over time makes an astronomical difference. So, in your life, understanding what your values are and what you want to see more of, start designing your days into different categories to make that come to fruition!
@edmylett, The Power of One More Book
@19yearoldshrink
@wjg23
In this episode I talk about the importance of sleep and the different stages. We learn about how sleep slows down heart rate, breathing rate, lowers body temperature, etc. As we enter the fourth stage of REM sleep, our eye movement speeds up and heart rate increases. As the episode continues, I discuss why sleep is so important and different steps that we can take to make our sleeping our environment better for us. Tune in to learn more!
Sources:
sleepfoundation.org
In this episode, I discuss the idea of connecting all of our experiences in our life back to our past circumstances. By doing this, we are able to have a better appreciation for the good and bad moments because a silver lining reveals itself later on. I use the example of this summer as well as a struggle from years back with a close person to me to help illustrate the purpose of this episode.
Not only can we use this understanding of everything being connected as a hindsight 20/20 idea, but to appreciate the bad moments when we are going through them. If you sometimes struggle with appreciating difficult moments (I do all the time), or want to have a better appreciation for your life experiences, tune in!
In this episode, I recap the interviews I had with the guests this season and what to take away from their talks. In addition, we look at season 3 and what to look forward to for this next year!
In this episode, I discuss what causes frustration that leads to aggression in our lives. The episode starts with understanding Tony Robbins 6 human needs and how having those differing needs can be a root of frustration if we can't learn to accept each others differences. As the talk continues, I discuss topics from the book by Elliot Aronson called "Social Psychology." I explain the social impact of aggression on others through Bandura's Bobo doll experiment, and the presence of alcohol as a cause for more aggression. As this episode concludes, we explore ways to combat the frustration and urge to hurt others in 3 ways; Counting to 10, taking deep breaths, and going for a walk. If you struggle with dealing with frustration and finding that you are hurting others, definitely give this one a listen!
Social Psychology by Elliot Aronson
In this episode, I discuss the generational gap present between parents and kids. Throughout this, you will hear real life examples of how parents sometimes use their experiences from when they were younger to help give advice to their kids now. In these scenarios, we can see how it can cause disconnect but also can provide useful advice towards helping future generations. Some of the examples include drinking culture, technology, dating, and more. If you are interested in learning more about the dynamic between parents and kids, tune in!
In this episode I interview executive life and leadership coach Hayden Lee. We discuss how he became passionate about life coaching while starting out with helping high schoolers with their schoolwork.
As the interview progressed, Hayden breaks down the differences between being a life coach, therapist, consultant, and mentor. By doing this, we are able to understand how these different helping professions play out in a persons life.
Later on, I ask him about the three levels of health which are creating health, being sick, and being non-sick. This was interesting because it shed light on the idea that even though we may not feel sick, we not be growing in our life. Hayden also talked about how we can become laser focused on the important things in our life while also accepting that not everything is in our control.
Overall, such an enjoyable conversation and highly recommend giving it a listen!
In this episode, I talk about how our dreams that we have when sleeping are related to our experiences when we are awake. Sometimes, it's hard to believe that the crazy, far fetched events while we sleep can have importance in our life. But, they have a great impact on the way we handle different events and also reflect the type of emotions we have at a certain moment. After doing some research from a couple articles, it gave more scientific context to why this happens. A study conducted by Alessandro Fogli and his colleagues tested 24,000 dreams from a Dreambank for clinical patients and found a positive relationship with the anxiety experienced in dreams versus the anxiety in real life. Another idea expressed dreams as being a "Nocturnal Therapist" show them as being important of understanding our worries in real life so that we can become better problem solvers. If you have always wondered about the relationship between dreams and reality, tune in!
In this episode, I discuss prosocial behavior and what influences us to act for other people. Social exchange and empathy altruism theory are a couple of many factors that come into play with helping others. In this one, I use the example of the Zegota found in the book "Social Psychology by Elliot Aronson to help illustrate the reasons behind helping. Tune in to learn more about why we help others!
In this episode, I talk about the different attachment styles and how they present themselves in infants as well as adults. Through doing this we are able to see the connections between the two stages of life, but also the capability for people to evolve and for their attachment styles to change.
Later on, I discuss some research done by Mary Ainsworth that puts these attachment styles into the context of relationships and how different styles would interact with each other. Throughout this episode, you will gain more awareness into your own attachment styles and understand how you can use them to your advantage and create a happier and fulfilling life.
This episode is a different format! In this one, I take questions that listeners sent in to help fuel the different topics of this episode. Questions ranging from a variety of different topics regarding mental health, self development, and life come up. This episode is unique because it covers such a range of topics, so there is something for everybody. If you didn't submit a question, don't you worry, more episodes like these will be coming soon. Tune in to hear more!
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In this episode I talk about how the Bystander effect is present in our lives and how we might not even realize it. Through the study by Latane and Darley as well as the case of the murder of Kitty Genovese, we can understand the unfortunate reality of the bystander effect. Through Latanes discussion of the five steps towards helping in an emergency and increasing the likelihood of bystanders intervening, we can bring this further into our own lives. Tune in for more info!
@19yearoldshrinkpodcast
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In this episode, I talk about lessons that I have learned from mentors about how to control having big aspirations for the future while allowing myself to still be a kid and enjoy time with friends. These talks provide context into the idea of anticipating regret and learning to envision how your future self would respond to the decisions you have to make in this present moment. We are faced with these feelings constantly throughout our life, and this episode will allow you to gain more clarity about opportunities you can take advantage of going forward. If you are someone who has felt like they haven't allowed themselves the time to be kids and enjoy youth or want to more, tune in!
@19yearoldshrinkpodcast
@wjg23
In this episode, I talk with my friend Andrea about the newly released movie, "Everything Everywhere All At Once." After watching it for the first time, I definitely felt confused considering the amount of tiny details that you needed to pay attention to. But, after watching a second time, we both agreed that the true lessons of the movie came out. From conversation about intergenerational trauma displayed through the dynamic between Evelyn and Joy, we can understand this in the context of our own lives.
Andrea also includes her favorite scene which involved the ending of the movie and how Evelyn decided that she wasn't going to make the same mistake her father made in letting Joy go like he did to her. Through the googly eyes made by Waymond, the everything bagel, Jubo Takati, and more, we discuss how much appreciation you can gain from the many metaphors of life this movie offers. If you haven't seen this movie, DON'T TUNE IN! Last thing we want to do is spoil it for you! If you find yourself watching the movie and being confused after, listen in to gain a better understanding of the certain hidden meanings and lessons we took away from this film and the psychology involved in it.
@19yearoldshrinkpodcast
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https://screenrant.com/everything-everywhere-all-at-once-ending-explained-real-meaning/
In this episode I talk about the impact of music on our emotions. After doing some research, I learned that our Default mode network is activated much more when we listen to music. And when listening to music we enjoy, there is more frontal activity in the brain. This activity is linked to greater analytical and reflective thoughts in our life.
If you have ever really enjoyed a song, it might have brought out a deep emotional influence for you that made you reflect. This is where that activity in the default mode network and frontal area is being experienced. We begin to associate different songs with different memories in our life and begin thinking about those songs in connection to where we are at personally.
And through music, we are able to take the time to reevaluate where we are at and make greater strides in our life. If you have ever wondered about how music impacts us and our emotions, tune in!
In this episode I talk about the concept by Ed Mylett, “Separation Season.” These are times where people normally are relaxing and taking it easy, which are opportunities for others to get ahead and gain momentum. Throughout this episode, I talk about different ways that I have learned to get ahead in the summer and how to build momentum!
@19yearoldshrinkpodcast
@wjg23
In this episode I talk about the Sunk Cost Fallacy. This fallacy is when a person refuses to abandon something because they have invested so much into it already.
Perfect examples of this are when you go to sports game and spend a ton of money on seats, and your favorite team is getting smoked, but you want to stay until the end because you payed good money. But, you already spent the money, nothing can change that, and what you don’t realize is you could do something more productive with that time.
Another example that I’ve heard a lot about is with relationships. When you have invested a year, two years, five years into a relationship, there’s this feeling of the need to stay in it because you’ve sacrificed so much of your time. And your thoughts of potentially hurting the person make the decision to end things too difficult for you to do.
If you have experienced this feeling of sunk cost fallacy in your life, highly recommend tuning in!
This episode is a perfect metaphor for so many experiences in our life. We have so many times that are worth appreciating, “the little tiles” that make up the bigger mosaic. But sometimes there’s one thing that’s faulty, “the missing tile” that causes us to lose sight of all of the great things we have going for us. As a result, we have a negativity bias that is based on lack. In this episode, I discuss areas where I have fallen short with this and how we can overcome the Missing Tile Syndrome.
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In this episode I talk about all of the learning experiences that have come with staying consistent over the last year with this podcast. Funny enough, I planned on quitting doing the podcast right before putting out the first episode a year ago Tuesday. Im laughing thinking about this but I was scared and worried people would judge me and call me a know it all because I was a 19 year old kid giving life advice.
But if I did, I would’ve missed out on all of the amazing people that I have been able to get to know and have really cool conversations with that I never thought I would. And being able to interview people that I have never met before has been a humbling and great learning experience for me as well.
Obviously there have been struggles which comes with anything you want to pursue. Being able to keep this up has been very difficult, and at times discouraging, but worth it. And this episode will explore ways that you can stay consistent with what you are passionate about and overcoming those times where you’re second guessing and doubting moving forward. Tune in for more!
In this episode I talk about the importance of persuasion and what causes certain people to be more persuasive than others. The two key factors in this talk are about central route persuasion as well as peripheral route persuasion.
Central route focuses on the actual argument that is being made, while peripheral focuses on surface level aspects of an argument. For example, central would be the words of the speech, whereas peripheral would be the attractiveness of the speaker or credibility as well.
Another example of peripheral persuasion is commercials that focus so much on the story rather than telling you about the product. Throughout this episode, learn about the basis of persuasion and how one can become more influenceable!
In this episode I talk about the idea of wanting what you don’t have. Specifically what I’ve seen with a lot of my friends and even myself is the idea of losing interest in people that show too much interest.
Someone who you were initially interested in starts texting more often, getting to the point where they’re asking to hangout a lot more than you are. Or, maybe the situation is flipped. But, at face value, everything looks completely fine. Someone who you are interested in shows a lot of interest in you and you have that certainty, but you start to move away from them. You start distancing yourself, and trying not to reach out as much.
I’ve wondered why that is for years and finally got some insight from an article by Kaitlyn Wylde which attributes this to wanting the unattainable. The feeling of someone being more aloof gives you uncertainty and makes it more interesting, sparking greater admiration for them. This is only the beginning of the reasoning, but if this is something that you’ve always wondered, tune in!
Article: https://www.bustle.com/articles/144865-why-we-lose-interest-in-people-who-show-too-much-interest-in-us
Instagram: @19yearoldshrinkpodcast
In this episode, I talk about the importance of taking a creative day. This is something that I’ve done in the past that’s not always easy. We spend so much of our time trying to respond to emails, get groceries done, do schoolwork, and succeed in jobs. And taking a day off from all of that sometimes gives us the idea that we are taking a step back.
But, what I’ve learned is that we’re actually taking a step “back” to take two steps forward. By having this free day, we are able to improve our attention spans because we have more time to focus on the things that we are passionate about instead of jumping from tab to tab and constantly living in the future while in the present.
In taking this day off where you don’t do anything with a deadline and focus on “feeding the soul” to be corny, it allows you to come back better when you do need to hit those deadlines. If you’re someone who has felt exhausted and is sacrificing all of the things they love and want for the things they feel obligated to do based on society, give this one a listen!
In this episode I sit down with my friend Will. He is a sociology major here at LMU and is VP of Recruitment for Agape, a service org on campus. During our talk, we learn about his upbringing as a child and how that led to his passion for destigmatizing mental health.
Stories of his father leaving and lack of acceptance for seeking outside help along with the great support from his mom fuel an in depth perspective of childhood impact on our lives.
Will later goes into his experience with the state of mental health on college campuses and what that looks like at LMU. From here we go into his influence that he has had with Agape, which seeks to help those with mental illnesses in a variety of different areas.
Lastly, we gain a good understanding of how to help someone who is struggling but doesn’t want to be helped, as well as the approach you could take when helping those older than you. Really cool being able to interview another college friend and looking forward to having more conversations like these.
Will Instagram: @willbrennann
Agape Instagram: lmuagape
In this one I talk about where I and others struggle to find that balance towards our Ikigai and what questions we need to ask ourselves in order to discover it. Some of those questions include:
What do you love?
What are you good at?
What does the world need from you?
What can you get paid for?
Many people might thrive in one specific area but are lacking in another, which causes doubt and insecurities to creep in. These doubts start to give us anxiety which makes us feel further away from ourselves. If you want to learn more about the concept and how to find more purpose, tune in!
In this episode I talk about aiming high and missing vs. aiming low and hitting. This is the idea of people including myself being afraid of having too high expectations and not reaching their goals.
And most of the time, people don’t fail completely, they just succeed at something that requires lower expectations. In this one I’ll talk about where I’ve been a victim of this and how to be ok with aiming high and missing and using it as a vehicle towards success.
In this episode I talk about our natural inclination towards worst case scenario thinking. With my own life, I’ve seen that I’ve naturally resorted to that way of thinking because it gives off the illusion of being more prepared.
We feel as though worrying about things has some sort of productive nature rather than allowing things to run their course and be at ease with it.
Something that has been said is the idea that when you might be worried about something you said or did, chances are it won’t be worst case scenario. But, we continue to buy into this thinking because of how our brains have been wired.
If you are someone that resorts to worst case scenario and wants to hear more advice, tune in!
In this episode I discuss the role that cognitive dissonance has when hurting other people. This state is the feeling of discomfort that we have when our actions or decisions aren’t in line with our beliefs and values. I experienced this recently this last week, and learned in class that there are three ways to reduce dissonance.
The first way to reduce dissonance is to change the behavior, the second being changing the cognition, and the third is adding a new cognition. I use an example of smoking to help solidify this idea and then apply it to how we can hurt other people. These three methods can be productive and also destructive and throughout this episode I emphasize how to reduce dissonance in the most productive way possible.
In this one I talk about the reality of how our world is getting more competitive each and everyday. And finding ways to stand out is very important. One example I give is with handwriting letters. I used to laugh at my dad when he told me to do this, but now I realize how effective it was.
When applying to jobs or building relationships, it’s easy to fall into the crowd. “They were a good interview” “They were a nice person” is fine, but this is something that will allow others to remember you. You no longer become one among the many but one of the few. Other ideas I bring up are sending birthday texts a couple days before the date as well as remembering people's names after meeting them. All of these helpers might seem small, but are what can separate you and make your name be more memorable. If you are looking for ways to stand out more, tune in!
In this episode, I interview Varun Gandhi, who is the host of “What’s your Story” show on YouTube and a successful soulpreneur that spends much of his time trying to help others reshape the stories they tell themselves.
He originally was an environmental engineer who lacked direction in his life. This led to him feeling consistent pain in his solar plexus when he would wake up in the morning. He would continue to go back to the same job, but eventually listened to his body, and realized he needed to make a change in his life.
This is where he dove into meditation and began tapping into the purpose that he has for himself now, and realized that it was to constantly look to help others. He is the founder of the Miracle Food Cleanse, and has put together “The Spiritual Block Party” which involves meditation practice, chakra activation, Tai Chi and more for members of the community. He has also fed over 160,000 people in the LA area, which is done consistently every Sunday.
If you’re someone who is at a place in their life that might be lacking a purpose and doesn’t feel like they are fulfilled as much as they could be, this is definitely a good listen. And if you want to learn more about the rewarding nature that giving to others provides, Varun’s story is an excellent example of how to feel that. Tune in to learn more!
Website: drvarungandhi.com
IG: instagram.com/drvarungandhi
Donation drive: https://gofund.me/1cc0b725
In this episode I talk about how to get out of a creative rut. And to start, some people think that they aren’t creative at all. They think that they have to be an artist, musician, etc. to have creative ability. But even when applying for job or writing a speech, you need to use your creativity to deliver the most unique message possible to others.
One of the tools I use for when I’m lacking that creativity is staring off into space. Sometimes when we meditate, we put pressure on ourselves to relax because we have that expectation of how it should turn out at the end. Meditation is an excellent resource that I use all the time, but from my experience with creativity, just staring off into space is free of any expectation. And when we do this, that’s when we allow those thoughts to come into our mind that create breakthroughs for ideas.
Another tool is going on a walk. Found from an article by the New Yorker, walking creates a feedback loop between our thoughts and the rhythm of our bodies, which isn’t as easy to experience when biking, running, or driving. And since we don’t need to put in as much conscious effort when walking, our mind is free to wander to anywhere it wants to go.
Later on in the episode I’ll talk about how to be creative when dealing with deadlines and how to use your room to become more creative instead of less. If you have ever been stuck in a creative rut and want to learn more, tune in!
In this episode I talk about accepting some parts of life as temporary. And when you hear this, usually you would think of this as being negative, but it really isn’t.
Sometimes we start off struggling, begin noticing we’re struggling, and then putting more weight on it to the point where it becomes a bigger problem that we think will last forever.
On the flip side, when things are going really well, we take it for granted and don’t realize that this feeling won’t last forever. We don’t stay in the present moment which causes us to not enjoy the good moments as much as we could.
For both these situations, one quote that can really help is “This too shall pass.” By constantly reminding yourself this, you’re able to take the weight off of the negative times and know that good times are coming. And by realizing this for the good times, you’re able to spend more time enjoying the good feelings and fun times you’re having.
In this episode, I talk about something that everyone has gone through at some point: public speaking blunders. Throughout this talk, I describe an experience I had last week with public speaking where I messed up a speech and felt really embarrassed.
Sometimes we go into a speech with a specific vision, put in all the work we needed to, and it still doesn't go as well as planned. When this happens, we start overanalyzing what others are thinking about us and thinking in the context of worst case scenario. If you feel like you've ever been in a place where you've felt the embarrassment of public speaking blunders and wanted to hear other's experiences, tune in!
In this episode I talk about the importance of keeping your friendships throughout the years.
This became more relevant as I came to college, because being far away from home definitely presents its challenges. But, by keeping these friendships with people who we are close to, we are able to not only keep those good memories close to us but gain a new perspective on the tough ones.
We naturally associate people in our lives with different times and feelings about those times. And when we stay in touch with those people who helped us beyond those times, we’re able to have a new outlook of appreciation for them rather than feeling bad about the situation.
Throughout this episode I give examples of the importance of keeping friendships and give some useful tactics to help stay in touch with people even when we aren’t physically present with each other.
In this episode I talk about the anxiety that comes with the age of texting. I’ve noticed from a lot of the conversations I’ve had with others and also my own experiences, good communication can be thrown out the window when texting.
Without body language and tone of voice, it could sometimes be difficult to understand the true meaning of someone’s message. And from here, we sometimes make up these stories about why someone responded a certain way, and sometimes they can feel self inflicted. This just causes more anxiety and leads to us living based on perception and not reality.
Our minds go to worst case scenario and when we have that absence of body language, it’s easier to go to that place. But texting has also become an issue because a lot of people use it to argue and try and solve problems instead of talking over the phone or in person. This ends up leading to frustration, overthinking, and anger towards the person on the other end. If you feel like texting has contributed to your anxiety and frustration in your life at one point or another, tune in for advice!
In this episode, I discuss the reasons why so many people including myself don't follow through with their New Years Resolutions. Much of the struggle to keep them lies in not being specific with your goals and for focusing too much on the end result. An example that I give is "I want to eat better," but what does "Better" mean? Throughout this talk, I discuss focusing more on what feeling you want to get from the goal you have, because everything that we want in life is traced back to a feeling.
From this point, you can reverse engineer and begin to build a framework of the type of system that can create that feeling and allow your goal to be accomplished. Obviously there will be times where your systems will be tested, and you might want to sacrifice the habits you have built because of some short term inconvenience. But, as this episode continues, you will learn how to anticipate those roadblocks.
Finally, being able to simplify the amount of resolutions that you have is really important so that you don't overcomplicate your life with so many new habits that you have to implement. I give advice on making this a more simplified plan so that long term you can be more successful. If you struggle with keeping your new years resolutions, definitely tune in, you're not alone!
This episode is definitely very relevant for our winter break right now. Although it was very exciting returning to in person classes and meetings, the adjustment was definitely challenging. For myself and some of my friends who I’ve talked to, quarantine allowed us to become regimented in our routine and build a lot of structure for ourselves when we didn’t naturally have it.
With going back to in person classes, I felt like I lost a lot of those habits and routines, making this semester stressful at times. In this episode I’ll discuss some ways to use winter break to gain back your momentum going into the new year by taking advantage of “separation seasons” as Ed Mylett calls them. These are times where people are naturally not doing as much work like on weekends, summers, after work, and from 1 pm to 5 pm on Fridays.
During winter break, it’s totally understandable for people to want to ease off, but sometimes the biggest confidence booster is putting in work when others aren’t. And if you’ve felt like you’ve lost some of your rhythm, this can be that time for you. If you have stayed consistent, this can be a time for building even more momentum going into the new year. For more advice and tools, tune in!
In this episode, I talk with Michael Weinraub about his efforts in creating a more effective environment for learners to learn and teachers to teach.
He describes his experiences starting out as a teacher in the LA Unified School district and how those extremely difficult first years allowed him to gain a lot of knowledge into helping students.
He mentions the idea of being able to look at the entire class as a whole while also being able to understand each individual and their different learning styles as a way to adjust.
If you’ve ever seen someone come into your classroom to examine the lesson plan, Michael had experiencing doing just that as well. And from that experience, he describes the type of questions and dialogue between himself and the teacher to help them teach more effectively. His job experience goes far beyond the examples mentioned, these areas are just a starting point.
But, these episode explores the psychology behind teaching and how much attention to detail needs to go into making a lesson plan successful. If you’re interested in becoming a teacher, learning more about new trends in education, or just are simply curious, tune in!
In this episode, I interview Fred Schwam, former owner and CEO of American Christmas. This company is focused on commercial holiday decorating throughout New York City and around the world. Fred took over the company when he was just 21 years old and describes his 30+ years of experience building up the company to where it is today. He started off as the production person, bookkeeper, truck driver, decorator, and salesperson.
For the first 9 years of his career, he hadn’t seen any huge results despite the amount of hard work and precision he had in the company’s processes. He would go to every building in New York City and would ask if they decorated for the holidays, and a lot of times got rejected. But, he continued to persist and his efforts led to signing with Rockefeller Center and Radio City Music Hall in 1997 to display their famous Christmas decorations.
Once signing these deals, he began getting noticed among the industry and by other big brands that would ultimately make his company the face of New York Christmas. His humble beginning in the industry and choosing to go forward without knowing it all brought much of his success that I had the pleasure to learn about. If you’ve ever watched the scenes in Home Alone, Elf, and other Christmas movies and want to learn more about the face behind the decorations, tune in!
This episode focuses on overcoming Imposter Syndrome, which is feeling inept in a specific area of your life despite all of the experiences and accomplishments that you have.
I was listening to Ed Mylett's interview with NFL Hall of Famer Michael Strahan, which inspired this topic. Strahan mentioned how even with all of his accomplishments, whenever he’s preparing an interview, or speaking with another accomplished person, he still has those feelings of self doubt creep in, wondering if he belongs.
He also discussed how his upbringing wasn’t a traditional route that people take to the NFL, and it’s tough at times for him to have full confidence in every moment of his life. But what’s crazy is he seems like the most confident person you’ll ever meet.
That’s why I think it’s important to talk about this because so many of us come off as being well suited for a task or job, but we become our own worst critics, leaving us wondering why we are qualified.
Throughout this episode, I’ll talk about my own self doubts and where I feel like an imposter in my life right now, even when others might not think anything of it. And I will talk about David Nurse’s techniques such as the life highlight reel, and hands technique to help put in perspective that you are much better suited for your responsibilities than you think.
During this episode I discuss our ability to sometimes look for advice from people who shouldn't be giving us advice. In my own experience, sometimes I view them as being a great emotional support for me during a tough time, and I remember them giving great advice for one moment in my life.
And from there, we assume that they will give great advice in every area of our life. But everyone has strengths and weaknesses in their life, and it’s important to decide who the best person to help you is regardless of past experiences.
This episode covers the idea of merging emotional support with receiving advice, and how sometimes we have to separate the two if we want to move in the right direction. If you’re someone who feels like you have people who are a great support system for you during tough times, but you don’t always get the most beneficial advice, definitely recommend tuning in!
In this episode I discuss something we’ve all experienced which is not having all the answers. Something that I’ve struggled to accept and especially up to this point in my life which can be tough
And sometimes detaching yourself from a situation or being vulnerable can be really intimidating to start off, especially when you have so much running through your mind. Maybe you’ve never experienced these feelings before and you’re trying to push them away, or you really don’t know how to feel about yourself or practically anything in these moments.
Some of the steps discussed involve reaching out to important people who are struggling and listening to their problems and trying to help them, so you can remove yourself from your own head.
And from there you can start doing things that you thought you wouldn’t be able to do. Those being detaching yourself from people who are the source of these feelings, or sharing things you never thought you would, but you’re glad you did. And the reason you’re glad is that you start to realize other people are lacking answers just like you are.
I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t one of these people, so if you are someone who has trouble accepting that you don’t have the answers and wants to find ways to get through it, definitely recommend giving this one a listen.
In this episode I talk about the lessons I learned during startup weekend at LMU, where we had 54 hours to build a prototype for a business idea.
I start off talking about how much your initial plan for a business idea changes and how looking back on it five years down the line, you realize you took a completely different path. Our product, “The Dream Machine” was an app designed to help people journal about their dreams so that they can be able to track how they are feeling in a specific period of their life based on their dreams.
And just designing a product made me realize how even in our life, there are so many things that we are adjusting to along the way to make something completely different on the other end.
As the episode continues, i use that idea to help relate it to the habits of entrepreneurs that I’ve learned from who have been successful. And the point to take away is that even if you aren’t building a company, having the entrepreneurial mindset in every area of your life can yield success.
In this episode I discuss the struggle that exists of people quitting right before they see the results. A lot of times we are putting in the effort day after day and we start expecting that this effort will immediately show results and when it doesn’t, we give up. And a lot of that comes from the perception of instant gratification that is portrayed on social media and other outlets.
In our society today with the vast amount of opportunities and different industry’s developing, it can sometimes be more attractive to quit something because we always know that there is another option. If we aren’t good at this, then we could always try something else that we could be better at.
In this episode, we learn about deciding when it’s right to quit versus if this is something that is worthwhile that I just haven’t seen the results for yet. And this ties into the idea of the compounding effect that has been discussed before. If you are someone who may have struggled in sticking with your goals, definitely recommend giving this one a listen!
This episode explores humility in the context of current society. We are inundated with visions of comparison and there is often this understanding that others might be getting more recognition than ourselves. And we begin to crave that feeling so much, that when we don’t get it, we begin talking about our accomplishments until we do.
And in my opinion, this relates back to our past experience of receiving recognition. When we did something great, we were acknowledged. In my opinion we begin developing this idea that we should be getting that acknowledgement every time we do something great. And when we don’t get it, our expectation leads to disappointment. If humility has been an issue for you or if you’ve had moments where you sacrificed your true personality to get recognition, highly recommend tuning in.
In this episode, my friend Josh Nutson joins to discuss his experience with mindfulness. Josh is a Management major and Psychology minor at Loyola Marymount and has spent much of the last year focusing not only on the benefits of mindfulness but the different ways an individual can experience it.
For college students, Covid was definitely a time for self discovery, and in our conversation Josh reflects on him learning more about becoming more present and mindful of his experiences.
We spend time talking about how to build the habit of meditating, what important tasks vs. urgent tasks are, and why it’s important to learn these skills as soon as possible. It’s definitely cool seeing individuals like himself explain why building these skills now is important rather than waiting 10, 20, maybe even 30 years to get going.
Lastly, Josh talks about terms like “Memento Mori” which is to remember that you will die. And at face value this might be tough to think about, but he explains why it brings a lot of humility into each day that you live. Other terms discussed are the Premeditation of evil which is not the belief that something will go wrong, but having a well adopted plan in place if your plans do fall short. Everything that he discusses all ties back to living a life that has more appreciation for the moment and being open to everything but attached to nothing.
In this episode, I discuss something we have all struggled with at one time or another; caring about what people think. And sometimes it's good to care about what people think, because they are doing it in your best interest. One example of this discussed in the episode involves cheating on a test, and your friend telling you it's not the right thing to do. Being open minded to your friends advice and realizing that habit needs to end is important. But, where we get into trouble is changing who we are in a negative way based on what others are telling us to do.
And in these situations, most of the time it's based on perception of what people will say, rather than them outright telling you to do something that goes against you as a person. Examples include fearing what people will think of your post on social media, rejection, changing personality based on different groups of people, and drinking at parties. Of course, outright criticism of who you are still manifests itself in disapproval of career path, life partners, and your overall success.
As the episode progresses, I provide multiple solutions to help handle situations of peer approval when they come up. One is becoming familiar with people's opinions you have cared about in the past, and realizing many of those people are no longer in your life. After realizing this, you can approach your relationships with a future oriented mindset and be more at ease with being yourself around people. And also recognizing that people aren't thinking about you, they are thinking about what you're thinking about them. This is something that will help you every single day and completely change your perspective of other people. If peer approval is something that has impacted you, definitely recommend giving this episode a listen!
Trevor Shevin, Intervention Specialist joins me to discuss his experience of addiction and how it led to him becoming an interventionist for those who struggled like he did.
We start off hearing about his life on Wall Street where he was ultra focused on results and spent a lot of time trying to people please. We dive into his struggles with alcohol and drug abuse that led to him being intervened on by his friends.
From here, Trevor mentions his process of intervening on someone and the Johnson approach that he uses. This involves love first and not blaming and shaming the person struggling with the addiction. Included in this conversation is the discussion of alcohol and drug use from a college perspective and when someone can distinguish being young and having fun versus having a problem they need to address.
If you want to learn about addiction as a whole and the broader impact it has on a persons life outside of just the substance, this is the episode for you.
In this episode, I talk about something that we’ve all dealt with in the past, which is hurting people close to you.
And during this, I bring up a small metaphor from when I was a kid that holds a similar meaning to our experience of apologizing to others. Sometimes it’s difficult, and our ego gets in the way of fully admitting we’re wrong. We start coming up with little excuses and deflecting our mistakes on other people by creating a story where we aren’t in the wrong.
And sometimes, over apologizing is also a sign that your ego is rearing it’s ugly head. Because you would rather just apologize than to make improvements for the next time. And this is something I’ve struggled with on multiple occasions.
Maybe you’re dealing with a relationship right now where you are struggling to do this, or you’ve struggled with it in the past. But, this episode can help give you insight into how apologizing can help strengthen relationships that have been struggling in your life.
In this episode I sit down with Lea Durante, nurse practitioner and outspoken educator on the importance of caring for the Endocannabinoid system. She helps others find relief from various physical and mental ailments using USDA organic hemp CBD.
During our discussion, she mentions how the Endocannabinoid system affects every aspect of our health and CBD is used as a way to help regulate the system and much of our functions as human beings. We learn that being selective with the CBD brands you purchase is vital considering this industry is like the "Wild West" where certain products aren't regulated.
In addition, we begin to understand why CBD is more useful in todays society considering there are many more stressors that trigger that lack of balance in the Endocannabinoid system. If you're a runner, you learn some interesting information about the "Runners High" that shows how the Endocannabinoid system is more present than the endorphins in your body. For interesting information about a booming industry that is only going to grow, tune in for more!
Learn More Here:
https://youtu.be/oJbOQ9P2NYQ (Inspiration for Lea's work)
IG: @lea.durante.np
email: lea.durante.np@gmail.com
Shop clean, safe, USDA organic hemp CBD with me as your resource & guide: leadurante.greencompassglobal.com
Paul Lamar Hunter joins me to discuss his experience growing up as the 19th of 21 children. He mentions the poverty and neglect he experienced as well as how the family and community reacted to his brother and fathers death when he was still a young kid.
Paul discusses the emotionally taxing experience and affect losing his brother in a house fire had on him but how having the support of his large family helped him through it. In addition, we learn how his mother coped with losing her husband, especially when she became a single parent raising 21 kids. Despite her raising a great kid, Paul described his mother as being very neglectful considering she never showed up to his graduation for college.
But through this, we’re able to learn how Paul found the strength to keep going even when those close to him didn’t want to see him succeed. And although they didn’t, he was able to ask the questions and build relationships with people outside of his family who ultimately became apart of it. He has written a book "No Love, No Charity," that has been featured in the US Reporter, NY Weekly, LA Wire, Ebony Magazine and more. He has also appeared on several tv shows including Face the Truth, Good Things Utah, and the Morning Blend.
Here are the links to get in touch and support Paul!
https://www.paullamarhunter.com/
https://cash.app/$PaulLamarHunter
https://twitter.com/APLH19
https://www.instagram.com/paullamarhunter/
This week has definitely been an exciting one, finally being back at LMU and seeing people I haven’t seen for over a year. And college kids all across the country have been experiencing a similar type return over the last couple weeks.
At LMU, Qdoba has hit different and a late night Iggys Diner run has been a hell of an upgrade from the Habit. But I've definitely been a little jealous of the freshman because I felt robbed of a year of college and still feel like we’re finishing up that year.
In this episode, I’m talking about what I believe many college kids are experiencing right now, which is a lot of excitement but also weird feelings related to Covid. If you’ve become more aware of how quickly time has been passing and also wish Covid didn’t happen during your college years, I could totally relate. And this will be a good listen for anyone who has experienced pandemic life during college and want's to hear some advice about how to handle this change. I use information from Trevor Moawad's book, "It Takes What It Takes," to help uncover the concept of neutral thinking so that we can use this to help smooth the transition back to normal life.
In this episode, my sister Gillian joins me to discuss her experience as an intern with Mary’s Meals. The mission of the organization (marysmeals.org) is to provide a meal to a hungry child in their place of education with the hope that they not only meet the need of the hungry child, but they also encourage education. By following through on this, Mary’s Meals is breaking the cyclical experience of poverty that these nations experience. The influence has been able to spread to 19 different countries, even during the circumstances of the pandemic.
Having this conversation with Gillian made me realize what makes Mary’s Meals unique, in that it addresses the cause of poverty, which is lack of education. As she alluded to, getting a child to go to school on an empty stomach is difficult because they’re not motivated to learn because they are thinking about how hungry they are. But, by starting simple with a meal, it is helping children in every other area of their life.
In addition, we learn more about the origin of the name and how it found its humble beginning in Bosnia-Herzegovina. This humble start has compounded over the years to feeding 1,838,859 of the world's poorest children as of 2021. But, what impacted me the most throughout our talk is knowing that a small contribution can impact a child's entire year. Considering 93% of the money donated to this charity goes directly to the child, a $21 Mary’s Meals t-shirt feeds a child for their whole school year.
Understanding that every contribution helps can help spark a change that can lead our world to a better place. Tune in to hear more about the vision of Mary’s Meals and how you can do your part!
Social Media:
marysmealsusa (instagram)
heartlandforkids (tshirt instagram)
marysmeals.org
In this episode, I talk to my father James Giangrande, financial advisor and partner at Altium Wealth Management about everything surrounding finance. We first start out hearing about his beginning years in the industry and lessons that he learned starting out. Those lessons include building other peoples trust in someone like himself who was new to the business but was in charge of handling their money.
Fast forwarding a bit, we walk through the process of him and his partners creating Altium Wealth, which specializes in each employee having their own unique ability and keeping the process consistent for each client. What really stood out to me in this is hearing all of the questions that they ask clients that you wouldn't think would be related to finance. Some of the questions are; "Where do you see yourself in 3 years, career, personal life, etc?" "What types of things would get in the way of you achieving your goals in that time frame?" When hearing these questions, I realized that this business is oriented not only toward building wealth financially, but building wealth in every sense of the word.
Some other specifics discussed were the power of the compounding effect of investing by an example from the S & P 500. In addition, we talk about where people make the biggest mistakes with their money, and how those mistakes compound negatively. Wrapping up, we talk about common denominators of wealthy people and how they make sure they build the good habits so those mistakes never come up for them.
Habit was definitely a big part of this conversation, because a lot of the time, financial wealth relies on starting early. Sometimes investing early might be intimidating because your income isn't as much as it would be ten years later. But, by just focusing on the habit and not the amount, this builds consistency and longevity in a persons financial approach.
Considering I'm a college kid, this information was eye opening and made me wish that we have a personal finance class in school. If you are a finance student who wants to learn more about the industry, someone who wants to know how to save, or an individual who wants to learn how they can make up for the mistakes they've made with their money, this episode is for you!
This episode is tied to a Henry Ford quote that realizes the importance of finding the people who have strengths where you have weaknesses. Many of us think that burning out is a sign of hard work, where we are responsible for 100% of the growth we experience as a person. And if we're not burning out, we think we are doing everything wrong. But, this Henry Ford quote proves this belief wrong, which is discussed in detail throughout the episode.
We've all had those moments where we've spent countless hours on youtube or reading a book looking for a specific answer, and after a while we just give up because we are farther away from finding it. And then we eventually ask someone we are close to for help, and we find exactly what we are looking for. By finding these people who compliment our weaknesses, we are being rewarded for our "Specific Ask" as Tim Ferris puts it. We are being rewarded for asking a specific question rather than hoping the information in our book to answer it for us. As I'm learning, it's not all about the amount of knowledge you can comprehend, it's about how fast you have access to that knowledge. And Henry Ford's success proves that you don't need to know everything to be great, but having access to the people who know what you don't is essential.
I discuss my own struggles and success with this idea in relation to my podcast and the people who I can go to "At the Push of a Button." And through this, I will talk about some of the struggles people may experience when starting out with this such as being afraid to ask questions and not knowing the types of people to contact. Tune in if you are looking to build a team that can help compliment where you fall short!
In this episode, I have a conversation with Dr. Eric Schleifer, therapist in the Southern Connecticut area. We discuss his perspective as a therapist by breaking down the counseling process for patients.
I ask him questions about the guidelines of taking on a new client, the reason so many people are opposed to therapy, his view on the diagnosis process, and how he handles his work life balance considering some of the conversations he has at work can be difficult.
Also, we talk about how he approaches different types of people who come in, such as really quiet kids, difficult parents, etc. If you have ever wondered how the therapy process works and the behind the scenes involved, definitely recommend giving this one a listen.
In this episode, I discuss a topic very prevalent to everyone of us that is often overlooked the most. And that is our unconscious decision to keep saying yes to every opportunity , even if it doesn't serve us. During this talk, I mention the Book Essentialism by George McKeown, and the examples of Warren Buffett and also Southwest Airlines that are provided to help shed light on how we can have more control over our choices. Certain ideas mentioned involve the importance of trade offs when becoming an essentialist, and what the different between an essentialist and non essentialist is. If you're struggling to find direction and priority in your life, this episode will give you an understanding as to why that happens and help steer you in a direction that you can start to control.
In this episode I sit down with Kristina Hess, licensed dietitian/ nutritionist and founder of Thrive Results Coaching, which is located in Darien CT.
We discuss the root of bad nutrition and what makes unhealthy food so attractive to us. From here, Kristina gives advice on what to look out for that is causing these health issues, bad moods, and lack of energy.
Later on in the interview, we talk about the program “Transformation 42” that she has for her clients which focuses on all of the areas that lead to building a healthy life. Good sleep, sunlight, drinking a lot of water, etc.
For me, it was definitely eye opening learning about the importance of these habits, but also how certain parts of nutrition not related to the actual food we eat is important. Those include timing of when we eat, how mindful we are being when we eat, etc. And she discusses intermittent fasting, 80/20 rule, and being intentional to help address these areas. Tune in for not only tactical advice for changing your nutrition, but learning how this one choice will benefit other areas of your life as well.
As thing start opening up, there have definitely been some adjustments to daily life. Learning how to talk to people again, driving to work, and more. The awkward handshake and hug encounters are at an all time high during this period, and I explore not only the different norms we need to get used to again, but also how we have changed throughout this quarantining period.
Some of those factors of change include being able to learn how to live with oneself and finding ways to make yourself happy even when the circumstances might not prompt it. In addition, we gain an understanding of how peoples mindset of life has changed and how to approach one's schedule now that more distractions are popping up each day. The term "Steady Structure" and "Shifting Structure" are discussed throughout the episode, and how one is not better than the other, but merely a product of a different period of time. Tune in for a very relatable topic to our lives right now.
In this episode, I sit down with my friend Andrea and talk about her experiences growing up a first generation American. We discuss the struggles and strengths that she’s developed being a first generation American and how it’s led to other passions in her life. Some struggles include being the first in her family to experience the American college experience and the different hurdles associated with the application process.
In addition, having to be away from her home country of Lebanon and the close knit family she has there has presented struggles to find a similar community in the United States. But, these experiences have allowed her to become a stronger and more independent individual who seeks to turn her struggles into strengths.
She has been able to do that by deciding to major in political science and minor in peace and justice and women and gender studies. Through learning about these topics, she discusses how advocacy has become a very important part of her life and how she approaches disagreement in an ever changing society. We not only gain understanding into how these issues are brought to attention in the U.S., but how the dynamic differs in Lebanon. By giving us this insight, we are able to see for ourselves how we can make a difference in our own lives.
In this episode, I sit down with Tessa Torrence Neumann, stepdaughter of Kurt Neumann, lead singer for the band BoDeans to discuss her suffering sexual abuse starting at the age of 9 and lasting for 6 years. Her perpetrator was her parents best friend, business partner, and bandmate who at the time was 40 years old. The negativity surrounding this abuse for Tessa carried over to other areas of her life where she became addicted to heroin at the age of 12.
In this talk we not only learn about her experience with the grooming process, but discuss how other people connected to the victim are groomed as well.
In addition, Tessa explains to us the misconception that abuse only happens in places with addiction, poverty, and low income families present. For her, she grew up living a normal life where her mother protected her and they lived in a neighborhood where you would never suspect anything like this was going on.
To wrap up the interview, we gain perspective into Tessa’s strength in speaking up about these issues and the threats and intimidation that came from that decision. But, we then are able to see how her strength paid off to bring her to where she is now. And that is having a happy family with a great husband and two kids, where she is devoted to them, her music, and the Strong Podcast which allows others to speak up about the injustices surrounding these issues.
This episode discusses ego using Ed Mylett's teachings to help us understand how it plays a role in our lives. Not only does it show up when bragging about one's accomplishments, but also in less obvious areas. This includes not listening to other people, seeking revenge, surrounding yourself with people that always agree with you, constantly apologizing, and being worried about what others think about you. And you will hear real life examples of where you can fall short and learn techniques to prevent this from happening. By becoming less focused on our ego, we will be more focused on creating an abundant life that holds onto positive emotions rather than negative ones.
In this episode, I sit down with my friend Catherine to discuss our experiences growing up in a divorced household. Catherine shares her struggles of navigating new and intimidating territories, and the responsibility of being the older sibling during divorce. She also shares insights into how kids respond to divorce in ways parents might not be aware of. Through this talk, we not only gain perspective from our experience with divorced parents, but share how it has benefited us and can benefit others in the future.
We've all heard at some point about those people that meditate, they must be crazy. I was saying that about my dad two years ago, and I became one of them. And I'm happy to say I did. This episode covers the benefits of meditation and explores the work of Dr. Joe Dispenza to help us become empowered to change limiting beliefs by using our thoughts as the driving force. Not only will we explore tactics for the practice of meditation, but how to translate that to every moment in life.
David Diehl joins the show to discuss his experiences of the New York Giants championship teams and what it took for them to come out on top. Originally from Chicago, David discusses his early childhood and the values his father instilled in him to help become the mentally strong individual he is to this day. He also builds off of these values and discusses how his mindset in the emotional games of his career helped translate into greater success in his life now and how we can use our mind as an asset in our own lives. This episode is a blend of not only the factors that led to David becoming a Super Bowl champ, but a champion in every sense of the word.
This episode has been the most prevalent to my experiences right now and is used to help others handle perfection. Every action that we take could be progressing us, but if our inner dialogue and language isn't in support of that action, we eventually burn out. Through this monologue, I share recent struggles with being too hard on myself and provide insight from a conversation with my dad to help others overcome the same struggles.
In this episode, I sit down with my roommate Will from freshman year to discuss the psychology behind writing through different character dynamics and story plots. In Will's story, "S'mores," we gain a better understanding of how stories have a deeper meaning than they appear at surface level. Experiences and references of college during the pandemic are a major factor in our discussion, which will provide context into the different psychological concepts that can be used in writing.
This episode breaks down the root cause of our bad habits and explores the process of creating more beneficial ones in our lives. Those days of me eating nachos consisting of Tostitos with pepper jack cheese and banana peppers goes far beyond the urge of simply craving the food. And through this episode you will become familiar of your own habits and the role that the environment plays in facilitating them. And also, why we have trouble maintaining good habits in the first place. If you want to learn how to start making your habits work for you, this is the episode for you!
Mark joins the show to discuss his experience being a transformation coach and founder of the Authentic Ambitions Community. At some point in our lives we are faced with these reoccurring negative thoughts and beliefs about ourselves that come up subconsciously. Mark does an excellent job breaking down these negative beliefs and gives us the necessary tools to overcome them. I would be lying if I said that I was a master of meditation, manifestation, and clarity. But, through this conversation with Mark, we can take away some tactical advice to help us constantly improve every area of our life!
This episode explores the inspirational story of Chris DT Gordon, who was diagnosed with Necrotizing Fasciitis in 2015. He discusses his experience in the hospital and the process it took to where he is now. His focus on the little things and having a positive mindset will provide context into how we can appreciate the little things especially during the pandemic.
This episode begins with the initial reactions to the pandemic from a college kids perspective. Through these reactions, we explore the different limitations we can experience on a daily basis ranging from a negative focus to a resistance to change. Later on, my father James Giangrande joins the show to discuss his own experience with self doubt and how to shift your focus to a new place. It was definitely fun for me because I learned a lot about my dad in this episode. This conversation is developed through experiences of college life, the business world, and navigating the new environment we are living in today.