The Visible Man Podcast

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In this special episode of the Visible Man podcast, VM Admin and veteran Bob Jurgensen sits down with fellow vets Roderick Castle, a crisis intervention specialist with the Veterans Outreach Center, and Matthew Murray, a veterans service officer with the Monroe County Veterans Service Agency to discuss veteran mental health, what’s being done about it, and what we can do to help.

If you’re a veteran in crisis or concerned about one, please call the Veterans Crisis Line at 1-800-273-8255 and press 1

Notes * What are we seeing and hearing from veterans regarding their mental health? * How COVID affected veterans' mental health * How can we help break the barriers and end the stigma regarding veterans' mental health? * How do the various veterans' agencies work together to help veterans? * PTSD in the military * What’s out there to help veterans convert back to civilian life? * Opening up the dialogue about veteran suicide * How can civilians help veterans?

Links * Veterans Affairs: https://www.va.gov/ * Veterans Outreach Center: https://veteransoutreachcenter.org/ * Monroe County Veterans Service Agency: https://www.monroecounty.gov/vsa * Subscribe to Beck’s Kid’s YouTube Account: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHKpj0_F_zTScHPAoBwNwZQ * Support VM: https://www.patreon.com/visibleman * National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-TALK (800-273-8255) or text “VM” to 741741 * American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) Loss Survivors: https://afsp.org/ive-lost-someoneAFSP * After an Attempt: https://afsp.org/after-an-attempt * National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) for family members and caregivers: https://www.nami.org/Your-Journey/Family-Members-and-Caregivers * NAMI: https://www.nami.org/home * Join Us: https://discord.gg/YbQDWqUC * Visible Man: https://www.visibleman.org/ * YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSPFY2_fDLiw0WLcxZErasg * Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/visibleman.org/ * Twitter: https://twitter.com/VisiblemanO * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/visibleman_org/

Catch up on past episodes here: https://visibleman.org/the-visible-man-podcast/

This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/support

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The gang chats with Chris Martoche who shares how his mental health struggles lead him to abuse alcohol, almost attempt suicide, and spend time in an inpatient mental health facility. This is one powerful story.

Notes:

White people food
Getting Admin Bob on Tinder next week
Chris tells his story of alcoholism, a suicide attempt, going to an inpatient medical facility, and his constant battle with his mental health
Great news about the PHP Program in Buffalo

Links

Grants Awarded to ECMC to Expand Innovative Outpatient Behavioral Health Programs: https://www.ecmc.edu/grants-awarded-ecmc-expand-innovative-outpatient-behavioral-health-programs/
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-TALK (800-273-8255) or text "VM" to 741741
American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) Loss Survivors: https://afsp.org/ive-lost-someone
AFSP After an Attempt: https://afsp.org/after-an-attempt
National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) for family members and caregivers: https://www.nami.org/Your-Journey/Family-Members-and-Caregivers
NAMI: https://www.nami.org/home
Join Us: https://discord.gg/YbQDWqUC
VisibleMan: https://www.visibleman.org/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/visibleman.org/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/VisiblemanO
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/visibleman_org/

This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/support

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Jeff chats with Mark Winston, the director of the US Men’s Shed Association, an international phenomenon that aims to help men and their mental health through “men’s innate need for activity.” The key to their popularity is best expressed in their motto: “Men don’t talk face to face, we talk shoulder to shoulder.

Just a quick reminder, this talk is for educational purposes only and is not to be taken as medical or professional advice. If you need medical or professional advice, please seek out the appropriate person in your local area.

Notes:

What are Men’s Sheds?
How Men’s Sheds help men stand shoulder to shoulder
Starting a Men’s shed
What do Men’s Sheds do?
How Men’s Sheds Help
What do the members of a men’s shed look like?
How Mark got involved with Men’s Shed
The Benefits of Men’s Sheds
Men suicide - the silent killer
Audience Q&A

Links:

US Men’s Shed Association: https://usmenssheds.org/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/usmenssheds/ * Mark’s Email: mark@usmenssheds.org * Subscribe to Beck’s Kid’s YouTube Account: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHKpj0_F_zTScHPAoBwNwZQ * Support VM: https://www.patreon.com/visibleman * National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-TALK (800-273-8255) or text “VM” to 741741 * American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) Loss Survivors: https://afsp.org/ive-lost-someoneAFSP * After an Attempt: https://afsp.org/after-an-attempt * National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) for family members and caregivers: https://www.nami.org/Your-Journey/Family-Members-and-Caregivers * NAMI: https://www.nami.org/home * Join Us: https://discord.gg/YbQDWqUC * Visible Man: https://www.visibleman.org/ * YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSPFY2_fDLiw0WLcxZErasg * Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/visibleman.org/ * Twitter: https://twitter.com/VisiblemanO * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/visibleman_org/ * Catch up on past episodes here: https://visibleman.org/the-visible-man-podcast/

This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/support

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Getting out of a toxic relationship is important, but what happens next? How do we climb the mountain of healing to find peace in ourselves and healthy relationships in the future?

In today’s episode, Jeffrey Hoffman sits down with Licensed Mental Health Counselor, Jaime Mahler to discuss not only how to heal from toxic relationships, but how to break the cycle to assure that we won't find ourselves stuck in similar ones, again.

Notes:

Defining toxicity and toxic relationships
What is triangulation?
Uncovering triangulation
How toxic people view relationships as a currency
How to break our own toxic patterns
How toxic recovery and authenticity go hand in hand
How do we recover from toxic relationships?
How do we heal from toxicity within a relationship?
Showing up authentically
Audience Q&A

Links:

GET YOUR TICKETS TO THE VM COMEDY NIGHT FUNDRAISER: https://ci.ovationtix.com/35843/production/1121480?performanceId=11068573
Jaime’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/recollectedself/?hl=en
Jaime’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@recollectedself?lang=en
Jaime’s Website: https://recollectedself.com/
The Unlearned Podcast: https://anchor.fm/theunlearnedpodcast
Subscribe to Beck’s Kid’s YouTube Account: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHKpj0_F_zTScHPAoBwNwZQ
Support VM: https://www.patreon.com/visibleman
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-TALK (800-273-8255) or text “VM” to 741741
American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) Loss Survivors: https://afsp.org/ive-lost-someoneAFSP
After an Attempt: https://afsp.org/after-an-attempt
National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) for family members and caregivers: https://www.nami.org/Your-Journey/Family-Members-and-Caregivers
NAMI: https://www.nami.org/home
Join Us: https://discord.gg/YbQDWqUC
Visible Man: https://www.visibleman.org/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSPFY2_fDLiw0WLcxZErasg
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/visibleman.org/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/VisiblemanO
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/visibleman_org/
Catch up on past episodes here: https://visibleman.org/the-visible-man-podcast/

This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/support

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Jeff and Jack cover a range of topics like gun control, dad jokes, the Australian election, and more in this freewheeling, open, and honest conversation.

Notes:

Dad Jokes and the official uniform of fatherhood
The importance of modular wardrobes
Sick kids and new medicine technology
Are you “that” kind of American?
Dealing with American Stereotypes
Jack’s first Australian Election Day
Being Embarrassed to be An American
Should Jeffrey Move to Australia?
Jeffrey and Jack discuss gun control
Texas is Pro-Life (except for the death penalty or if it interferes with their guns)
VM In-person updates
Finding a balance between work and home
Dealing with challenges as a father figure

Links:

GET YOUR TICKETS TO THE VM COMEDY NIGHT FUNDRAISER: https://ci.ovationtix.com/35843/production/1121480?performanceId=11068573
Subscribe to Beck’s Kid’s YouTube Account: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHKpj0_F_zTScHPAoBwNwZQ
Support VM: https://www.patreon.com/visibleman
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-TALK (800-273-8255) or text “VM” to 741741
American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) Loss Survivors: https://afsp.org/ive-lost-someoneAFSP
After an Attempt: https://afsp.org/after-an-attempt
National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) for family members and caregivers: https://www.nami.org/Your-Journey/Family-Members-and-Caregivers
NAMI: https://www.nami.org/home
Join Us: https://discord.gg/YbQDWqUC
Visible Man: https://www.visibleman.org/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSPFY2_fDLiw0WLcxZErasg
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/visibleman.org/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/VisiblemanO
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/visibleman_org/
Catch up on past episodes here: https://visibleman.org/the-visible-man-podcast/

This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/support

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This “best of” episode comes from Jeff Hoffman's chat with Lisa Nolan, the Director of Prevention Education for the Willow Domestic Violence Center in Rochester New York.

Prior to her role at Willow, she spent over 14 years in higher education working with college students primarily in the field of student behavior and conduct. During this time, she gained many years of experience working with survivors, understanding trauma, and understanding the impact of dating and domestic violence on individuals and the impact on the broader community.

This conversation may be triggering to some and as a reminder, it is for educational purposes only and not medical or legal advice. If you need medical or legal advice, please seek help from the appropriate medical or legal professional.

Links

Willow Domestic Violence Center: http://willowcenterny.org/
The National Domestic Violence Hotline: http://thehotline.org/
Rape Abuse & Incest National Network: http://rainn.org/
The CDC
- Fast Facts about DV: https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/intimatepartnerviolence/index.html
- Information on Adverse Childhood Experiences: https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/aces
The Power and Control Wheel: https://www.nsvrc.org/sites/default/files/2019-08/Gender%20Neutral%20Power%20Control%20Wheel.pdf
Brene Brown’s RSA Short: Empathy: https://brenebrown.com/videos/rsa-short-empathy/
GET YOUR TICKETS TO THE VM COMEDY NIGHT FUNDRAISER: https://visibleman.org/comedyshow/
Subscribe to Beck’s Kid’s YouTube Account: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHKpj0_F_zTScHPAoBwNwZQ
Support VM: https://www.patreon.com/visibleman
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-TALK (800-273-8255) or text “VM” to 741741
American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) Loss Survivors: https://afsp.org/ive-lost-someoneAFSP
After an Attempt: https://afsp.org/after-an-attempt
National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) for family members and caregivers: https://www.nami.org/Your-Journey/Family-Members-and-Caregivers
NAMI: https://www.nami.org/home
Join Us: https://discord.gg/YbQDWqUC
Visible Man: https://www.visibleman.org/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSPFY2_fDLiw0WLcxZErasg
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/visibleman.org/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/VisiblemanO
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/visibleman_org/
Catch up on past episodes here: https://visibleman.org/the-visible-man-podcast/

This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/support

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Jeff and Jack have a freewheeling conversation that covers Australia’s obsession with Hawaiian BBQ, sparking joy, upcoming live events, burnout, and more. This is one of the most open, honest, and free-flowing conversations we’ve had on VM Live.

Notes:

Australia’s obsession with BBQ Hawaiian food, shortening words unnecessarily, and why there are no Burger King’s down under.
If you could draw your week as a roller coaster, what would it look like? - A callback to our live talk with Weston Karnes who created the card game for men’s mental health, “Let’s Get Real, Bro.” - https://youtu.be/7c01qwyZgEE
Should you use the word should? (and other philosophical questions)
What up with Jeff and busses?
Adult coloring and the zen of cabinet making
Duct tape and cable management
Being lucky enough to love what you do for work
Why entrepreneurs suck
Sparking Joy
Jeff’s first talk will be at the Lilac Festival: https://rochesterevents.com/lilac-festival/
How men are hurting the men’s mental health cause
Jack now sleeps like a normal person
The official VM Comedy Night Fundraiser announcement: https://www.carlsoncomedy.com/
How burnout has affected Visible Man
The real meaning of brotherhood

Links

GET YOUR TICKETS TO THE VM COMEDY NIGHT FUNDRAISER: https://ci.ovationtix.com/35843/production/1121480?performanceId=11068573

Subscribe to Beck’s Kid’s YouTube Account: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHKpj0_F_zTScHPAoBwNwZQ * Support VM: https://www.patreon.com/visibleman * National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-TALK (800-273-8255) or text “VM” to 741741 * American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) Loss Survivors: https://afsp.org/ive-lost-someoneAFSP * After an Attempt: https://afsp.org/after-an-attempt * National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) for family members and caregivers: https://www.nami.org/Your-Journey/Family-Members-and-Caregivers * NAMI: https://www.nami.org/home * Join Us: https://discord.gg/YbQDWqUC * Visible Man: https://www.visibleman.org/ * YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSPFY2_fDLiw0WLcxZErasg * Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/visibleman.org/ * Twitter: https://twitter.com/VisiblemanO * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/visibleman_org/ * Catch up on past episodes here: https://visibleman.org/the-visible-man-podcast/

This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/support

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Dating can be a lot of fun, but once you get to a certain place in life, it becomes less about having fun and more about discovering and then finding what you want in a partner. How do we do this while still enjoying the process?

In this episode, Jeff speaks with husband, father, YouTuber, podcast, author, and PRE engagement coach, Shon Hyneman of Its Scary to Remarry about how to date intentionally.

Notes

About It’s Scary to Remarry and Shon Hyneman
How to date intentionally
How being upfront about what you want in a relationship is beneficial for you and your partner
The importance of finding out what you want in a partner and relationship
The five questions that will help you find out what you want with relationships
Audience Q&A

Links

Shon’s YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/ShonHyneman
Dating Intentionally: 5 Ways To Know They Are The One: https://5waystoknow.podia.com/
Subscribe to Beck’s Kid’s YouTube Account: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHKpj0_F_zTScHPAoBwNwZQ
Support VM: https://www.patreon.com/visibleman
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-TALK (800-273-8255) or text “VM” to 741741
American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) Loss Survivors: https://afsp.org/ive-lost-someoneAFSP
After an Attempt: https://afsp.org/after-an-attempt
National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) for family members and caregivers: https://www.nami.org/Your-Journey/Family-Members-and-Caregivers
NAMI: https://www.nami.org/home
Join Us: https://discord.gg/YbQDWqUC
Visible Man: https://www.visibleman.org/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSPFY2_fDLiw0WLcxZErasg
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/visibleman.org/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/VisiblemanO
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/visibleman_org/
Catch up on past episodes here: https://visibleman.org/the-visible-man-podcast/

This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/support

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Jeff sits down for a chat with Weston Karnes, the creator of “Let’s Get Real Bro,” a card game for guys to connect, dig deep, and get real.

Notes:

Where the idea for a mental health card game for men came from
Creating the actual game
Where did the questions come from?
How does Weston see the game being used?
Jeff answers a few questions from the game

Links:

Let’s Get Real Bro’s website: https://www.letsgetrealbro.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lgrbro
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lgrbro/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@lgrbro
Subscribe to Beck’s Kid’s YouTube Account: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHKpj0_F_zTScHPAoBwNwZQ
Support VM: https://www.patreon.com/visibleman
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-TALK (800-273-8255) or text “VM” to 741741
American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) Loss Survivors: https://afsp.org/ive-lost-someoneAFSP
After an Attempt: https://afsp.org/after-an-attempt
National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) for family members and caregivers: https://www.nami.org/Your-Journey/Family-Members-and-Caregivers
NAMI: https://www.nami.org/home
Join Us: https://discord.gg/YbQDWqUC
Visible Man: https://www.visibleman.org/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSPFY2_fDLiw0WLcxZErasg
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/visibleman.org/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/VisiblemanO
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/visibleman_org/
Catch up on past episodes here: https://visibleman.org/the-visible-man-podcast/

This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/support

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The boys continue their “Audience Q&A” series with this episode answering questions about men’s mental health in and out of the VM Discord Server. They also discuss ghosting and how harmful it can be to everyone involved.

Notes:

Is ghosting ok?
Has anyone made fun of you for talking about your feelings?
How do you cope when people invalidate your depression?
Do you talk about mental health outside of the server?
What do you guys do to make yourself feel sexy or attractive?

Links: * Subscribe to Beck’s Kid’s YouTube Account: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHKpj0_F_zTScHPAoBwNwZQ * Support VM: https://www.patreon.com/visibleman * National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-TALK (800-273-8255) or text “VM” to 741741 * American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) Loss Survivors: https://afsp.org/ive-lost-someoneAFSP * After an Attempt: https://afsp.org/after-an-attempt * National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) for family members and caregivers: https://www.nami.org/Your-Journey/Family-Members-and-Caregivers * NAMI: https://www.nami.org/home * Join Us: https://discord.gg/YbQDWqUC * Visible Man: https://www.visibleman.org/ * YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSPFY2_fDLiw0WLcxZErasg * Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/visibleman.org/ * Twitter: https://twitter.com/VisiblemanO * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/visibleman_org/ * Catch up on past episodes here: https://visibleman.org/the-visible-man-podcast/

This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/support

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"I definitely have body issues, but everybody does. When you come to the realization that everybody does — even the people that I consider flawless — then you can start to live with the way you are." - Taylor Swift

Whether it’s because of Hollywood or because of our own friends and family, it feels like almost everyone has some issue with their own body. The boys get together to discuss their various insecurities in an open and honest conversation about body image, body image issues, and the male body itself.

Links:

Support VM: https://www.patreon.com/visibleman
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-TALK (800-273-8255) or text “VM” to 741741
American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) Loss Survivors: https://afsp.org/ive-lost-someoneAFSP
After an Attempt: https://afsp.org/after-an-attempt
National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) for family members and caregivers: https://www.nami.org/Your-Journey/Family-Members-and-Caregivers
NAMI: https://www.nami.org/home
Join Us: https://discord.gg/YbQDWqUC
Visible Man: https://www.visibleman.org/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSPFY2_fDLiw0WLcxZErasg
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/visibleman.org/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/VisiblemanO
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/visibleman_org/
Catch up on past episodes here: https://visibleman.org/the-visible-man-podcast/

This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/support

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We will be releasing the full episode of VM Live titled, "Is There Room in the Body Positivity Movement for Men," in a few days, but wanted to get this part out ahead of time. Eternal Hope Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/support

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You can choose your friends, but you can’t choose your family. We all know that. The boys discuss whether or not the family, which you can’t choose, can affect your mental health and if so, how.

They also continue their discussions on the Ukraine situation, Jack’s trip to Australia, and more.

Notes:

Jack’s run-ins with the bugs of Australia
The Ukraine Situation
Invalidating people’s problems and experiences because someone else always has it worse
Turning human suffering into a political thing
Being informed of current events without harming your mental health
Being embarrassed to be an American while overseas
Can family mess with your mental health? - The short answer
Understanding your family members from a mental health perspective
When siblings interfere with family matters
Jack gets jealous about his partner’s kid’s YouTube Channel
Learning to set up boundaries with family members
Balancing family responsibilities with personal freedom

Links * Subscribe to Beck’s Kid’s YouTube Account: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHKpj0_F_zTScHPAoBwNwZQ * Support VM: https://www.patreon.com/visibleman * National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-TALK (800-273-8255) or text “VM” to 741741 * American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) Loss Survivors: https://afsp.org/ive-lost-someoneAFSP * After an Attempt: https://afsp.org/after-an-attempt * National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) for family members and caregivers: https://www.nami.org/Your-Journey/Family-Members-and-Caregivers * NAMI: https://www.nami.org/home * Join Us: https://discord.gg/YbQDWqUC * Visible Man: https://www.visibleman.org/ * YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSPFY2_fDLiw0WLcxZErasg * Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/visibleman.org/ * Twitter: https://twitter.com/VisiblemanO * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/visibleman_org/ * Catch up on past episodes here: https://visibleman.org/the-visible-man-podcast/

This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/support

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In today’s episode, Jeff chats with Dr. Rob Whitley, associate professor in the Department of Psychiatry at McGill University and research scientist at the Douglas Research Centre about the cultural differences in men’s mental health.

Just a heads up, there were some technical issues with Dr. Rob’s audio, but we feel that the message was important enough to warrant airing this in spite of said issues.

Finally, as always, this show is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended to replace medical or professional help. If you need medical or professional help, please seek out the appropriate person in your area.

Notes:

How Dr. Whitley got interested in men’s mental health
How the field of men’s mental health has grown?
How influential is culture when it comes to mental health?
Dealing with the bad aspects of the manosphere
The insights Dr. Whitley gained while studying the pick-up artist community
What are some of the ways we can reach out and help men?
How shoulder-to-shoulder interventions can be a great way to reach men
Why don’t men open up about their mental health?

Links:

Dr. Rob’s Bio: https://www.mcgill.ca/tcpsych/faculty/robertwhitley

“Men’s Issues and Men’s Mental Health: An Introductory Primer:” https://www.amazon.com/Men%E2%80%99s-Issues-and-Men%E2%80%99s-Mental-Health_-An-Introductory-Primer/dp/3030863190

Dr. Rob’s Blog: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/talking-about-men

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-TALK (800-273-8255) or text “VM” to 741741 American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) Loss Survivors: https://afsp.org/ive-lost-someoneAFSP After an Attempt: https://afsp.org/after-an-attempt

National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) for family members and caregivers: https://www.nami.org/Your-Journey/Family-Members-and-Caregivers NAMI: https://www.nami.org/home Join Us: https://discord.gg/YbQDWqUC Visible Man: https://www.visibleman.org/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSPFY2_fDLiw0WLcxZErasg Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/visibleman.org/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/VisiblemanO Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/visibleman_org/

Catch up on past episodes here: https://visibleman.org/the-visible-man-podcast/

This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/support

Men’s Issues and Men’s Mental Health: An Introductory Primer

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On this special episode of the Visible Man podcast, VM in collaboration with Victory Mindset presents speaker, author, entrepreneur, and coach Anthony Faiano who gives his talk, “A Man’s Relationship with Himself.”

In this talk, Anthony gives men a step-by-step process that will help them better their relationship with themselves internally, which will then help them in all areas of their lives externally.

We were incredibly happy to have Anthony join us and even luckier to have him as an active member of our organization.

Notes:

Know Thyself
Self Respect vs Self Esteem
Make Yourself Uncomfortable
Learn to communicate
Authenticity
Audience Q&A

Links:

Anthony’s Website: https://www.victorymindset.net
Support the Mission: https://www.patreon.com/visibleman

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-TALK (800-273-8255) or text “VM” to 741741 * American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) Loss Survivors: https://afsp.org/ive-lost-someoneAFSP * After an Attempt: https://afsp.org/after-an-attempt

National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) for family members and caregivers: https://www.nami.org/Your-Journey/Family-Members-and-Caregivers * NAMI: https://www.nami.org/home * Join Us: https://discord.gg/YbQDWqUC * Visible Man: https://www.visibleman.org/ * YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSPFY2_fDLiw0WLcxZErasg * Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/visibleman.org/ * Twitter: https://twitter.com/VisiblemanO * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/visibleman_org/

Catch up on past episodes here: https://visibleman.org/the-visible-man-podcast/

This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/support

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All relationships start with one thing - two people meeting. Join the boys as they discuss their very nonprofessional insights on how they’ve met and dated people.

Notes:

Football
Dating apps
Is it easier to approach a man or a woman?
Getting over fears of approaching people
Start a conversation by asking for advice
Are men intimidating to approach?
Being authentic

Links:

Support the Mission: https://www.patreon.com/visibleman
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-TALK (800-273-8255) or text “VM” to 741741
American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) Loss Survivors: https://afsp.org/ive-lost-someoneAFSP
After an Attempt: https://afsp.org/after-an-attempt
National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) for family members and caregivers: https://www.nami.org/Your-Journey/Family-Members-and-Caregivers
NAMI: https://www.nami.org/home
Join Us: https://discord.gg/YbQDWqUC
Visible Man: https://www.visibleman.org/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSPFY2_fDLiw0WLcxZErasg
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/visibleman.org/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/VisiblemanO
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/visibleman_org/

Catch up on past episodes here: https://visibleman.org/the-visible-man-podcast/

This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/support

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The boys get real and discuss what breakups are like for men. They also discuss myspace, recording ringtones with your tv, and other things people over 30 will appreciate.

Notes:

We're streaming… We think
The hardest part of breaking up is getting back your stuff
Divorces versus breakups
Dealing with the guilt and shame that follows a divorce
Patreon ideas
Voicemails and ringtones in the 90s/2000s
Jeff opens up about his worst breakup
Jack opens up about his worst breakup
Upcoming events
Adro opens up about his worst breakup
Do men end up having to leave/get kicked out more often than women
Why memes of men crying are incredibly harmful
When a man cheats versus when a woman cheats
Why guys can't find emotional help online
What breakups are like for men

Links:

Support the Mission: https://www.patreon.com/visibleman
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-TALK (800-273-8255) or text “VM” to 741741
American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) Loss Survivors: https://afsp.org/ive-lost-someoneAFSP
After an Attempt: https://afsp.org/after-an-attempt
National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) for family members and caregivers: https://www.nami.org/Your-Journey/Family-Members-and-Caregivers
NAMI: https://www.nami.org/home
Join Us: https://discord.gg/YbQDWqUC
Visible Man: https://www.visibleman.org/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSPFY2_fDLiw0WLcxZErasg
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/visibleman.org/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/VisiblemanO
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/visibleman_org/
Catch up on past episodes here: https://visibleman.org/the-visible-man-podcast/

This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/support

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The boys talk about being Visible Men a lot, but how does one actually do that? Join them as they discuss how to be there for someone and be a safe person.

Notes

Jack's healthy shake
Remember that time Jeff got mad at the boys?
Jeff's big news!
SMASH THAT LIKE BUTTON
Why do men have trouble opening up?
The best way to be there for someone who needs to talk
Examples of being an unsafe person emotionally
Being there versus giving advice
Knowing the difference between a discussion and a vent
How knowing your own boundaries can help you be a safe person
How joking around can make someone feel unsafe
How to drink wine and water - the right way
Accidentally taking jokes too far
What the boys look for in a safe person

Links * Support the Mission: https://www.patreon.com/visibleman * National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-TALK (800-273-8255) or text “VM” to 741741 * American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) Loss Survivors: https://afsp.org/ive-lost-someoneAFSP * After an Attempt: https://afsp.org/after-an-attempt * National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) for family members and caregivers: https://www.nami.org/Your-Journey/Family-Members-and-Caregivers * NAMI: https://www.nami.org/home * Join Us: https://discord.gg/YbQDWqUC * Visible Man: https://www.visibleman.org/ * YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSPFY2_fDLiw0WLcxZErasg * Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/visibleman.org/ * Twitter: https://twitter.com/VisiblemanO * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/visibleman_org/ * Catch up on past episodes here: https://visibleman.org/the-visible-man-podcast/

This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/support

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Our listeners and viewers have spoken and we have finally listened. Join the boys as they answer questions submitted by the VM Live audience. They cover manscaping, what men talk about when women aren't around, how to turn down your partner when you don't want sex, and so much more.

Notes

R.I.P. Meatloaf
Fight Club and toxic masculinity
Catching up with the boys
Jack pays up on the bet he made with Adro on the episode, "Feeling Open and Opening Up."
The boys cover the NFL playoffs and the VM Fantasy Football League
Do guys use the same razor or trimmer to shave their balls as they do to shave their face?
What is being an Admin on Visible Man's Discord Server Like?
What do men like to receive as gifts?
What do men talk about when women aren't around?
Is Jack Rollins the best lover in Ohio
Can you really be "too big" for condoms?
My boyfriend always wants to have sex. How do I tell him no without hurting his feelings?
Why are all guys obsessed with anal sex?
My husband doesn't do his fair share of things around the house. How do I get him to do things?

Links

VM Live! 12-17-21 – Feeling Open and Opening Up: https://visibleman.org/feeling-open-and-opening-up/
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-TALK (800-273-8255) or text “VM” to 741741
American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) Loss Survivors: https://afsp.org/ive-lost-someoneAFSP
After an Attempt: https://afsp.org/after-an-attempt
National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) for family members and caregivers: https://www.nami.org/Your-Journey/Family-Members-and-Caregivers
NAMI: https://www.nami.org/home
Join Us: https://discord.gg/YbQDWqUC
Visible Man: https://www.visibleman.org/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSPFY2_fDLiw0WLcxZErasg
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/visibleman.org/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/VisiblemanO
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/visibleman_org/
Catch up on past episodes here: https://visibleman.org/the-visible-man-podcast/

This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/support

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On today's episode, the boys discuss their New Year's Resolutions. They also help Jeff deal with his plants, discuss Walmart parking lots, COVID parties, and more.

Notes

Jack's LDR Date night
How people who live in warm climates can't understand the concept of real winter weather
Jeff, his aphids, and the weirdness of actually being in a good mood
The dangers of ornamental cacti
Walmart parking lots and the worst of the worst
Bob readjusting to an empty house again and adjusting to an empty office due to COVID
Evan's 2022 has been all over the place already
COVID parties
Novak Djokovic and the Australian border
Jack's New Year's Resolutions
Weight loss
Social awareness
Huel should sponsor us
Jeff's New Year's Resolutions
- Making choices for himself
- Boundaries
VM Live will Livestream in 2022
Bob's New Year's Resolutions
- A different view on resolutions
- Writing out yearly goals
Evan's New Year's Resolutions
- He doesn't call them resolutions either
- Focusing more on spending time doing things for himself and less time doing unnecessary things
Jack's predictions for 2022
We're on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/user?u=15385375

Links * National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-TALK (800-273-8255) or text “VM” to 741741 * American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) Loss Survivors: https://afsp.org/ive-lost-someoneAFSP * After an Attempt: https://afsp.org/after-an-attempt * National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) for family members and caregivers: https://www.nami.org/Your-Journey/Family-Members-and-Caregivers * NAMI: https://www.nami.org/home * Join Us: https://discord.gg/YbQDWqUC * Visible Man: https://www.visibleman.org/ * YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSPFY2_fDLiw0WLcxZErasg * Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/visibleman.org/ * Twitter: https://twitter.com/VisiblemanO * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/visibleman_org/

Catch up on past episodes here: https://visibleman.org/the-visible-man-podcast/

This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/support

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On the premiere of Season 2, the boys discuss their holidays; specifically dealing with long-distance relationships, difficult families, breakups, and more. They also find out where Tim has been for the last six months!

Notes * Where in the heck has Tim been? * News from Iowa * Why Ohio is the Kevin Bacon of states * Tim’s nickname is finally revealed * VM Live’s goals for Season 2 * Jack talks about not being able to get to Australia as planned * How difficult it is to give bad news to kids * Compartmentalizing stuff during tough times * Bob’s Holidays and freaking with difficult family members * How abuse can affect children * Let’s talk about kayaking * How Tim and his wife bonded via their divorce boat while also doing the whole thing backward * Dealing with the ex during the holidays * Handling your child’s first break-up * When is the best time to break up with someone? * Going back to your childhood home to say goodbye * Jeff’s refreshing holiday season except for that part where he wanted until Christmas Eve to do his shopping * Why Jeff hesitates and why everything is much easier said than done * Keeping the peace versus paying the price * Jeff’s gratitude for a calm holiday season * How we spoil our family as a way to make up for things * The boys solve the problem of how to lose weight * Huel should sponsor us * How little adjustments can create big change * More kayak talk

Links * National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-TALK (800-273-8255) or text “VM” to 741741 * American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) Loss Survivors: https://afsp.org/ive-lost-someoneAFSP * After an Attempt: https://afsp.org/after-an-attempt * National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) for family members and caregivers: https://www.nami.org/Your-Journey/Family-Members-and-Caregivers * NAMI: https://www.nami.org/home * Join Us: https://discord.gg/YbQDWqUC * Visible Man: https://www.visibleman.org/ * YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSPFY2_fDLiw0WLcxZErasg * Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/visibleman.org/ * Twitter: https://twitter.com/VisiblemanO * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/visibleman_org/ * Catch up on past episodes here: https://visibleman.org/the-visible-man-podcast/

This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/support

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Today's episode comes from a live talk founder Jeff Hoffman had with Erin Thurston from the Heal Collaborative, which as a part of the University of Rochester Medical Center, provides support for everyone who experiences, violence and trauma, including men and members of the LGBTQIA community.

There were some technical issues with the audio, but we believe that the information contained in this episode is important enough to share it even in its imperfect state.

The content of this episode has to do with abuse and domestic violence. Because of that, it may be triggering to some individuals and we also advise that you keep it away from younger ears.

Notes:

What does the Heal Collaborative ( Strong memorial hospital) do?
What got Erin into this kind of work?
What do abuse and trauma look like?
How do you know if you are being abused?
Do men get abused? If so, what does it look like?
What barriers do male domestic violence survivors have in regards to getting help?
What does healing from domestic violence look like for men?
How has the COVID-19 pandemic affected people in domestically violent relationships?
Audience Q&A

Links:

Healing through Health, Education, Advocacy, and Law (HEAL) Collaborative (contains a quick exit button for safety): https://www.urmc.rochester.edu/mental-health-wellness/adult-services/outpatient/heal.aspx
Men and Domestic Violence: https://visibleman.org/men-and-domestic-violence/
Willow Domestic Violence Center: http://willowcenterny.org/
The National Domestic Violence Hotline: http://thehotline.org/
Rape Abuse & Incest National Network: http://rainn.org/
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-TALK (800-273-8255) or text “VM” to 741741
American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) Loss Survivors: https://afsp.org/ive-lost-someoneAFSP
After an Attempt: https://afsp.org/after-an-attempt
National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) for family members and caregivers: https://www.nami.org/Your-Journey/Family-Members-and-Caregivers
NAMI: https://www.nami.org/home
Join Us: https://discord.gg/YbQDWqUC
Visible Man: https://www.visibleman.org/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSPFY2_fDLiw0WLcxZErasg
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/visibleman.org/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/VisiblemanO
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/visibleman_org/
Catch up on past episodes here: https://visibleman.org/the-visible-man-podcast/

This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/support

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On VM Live’s last episode of 2021, the guys reflect on Season 1 of the show, Jack picks a bone with himself about not being open which leads to a discussion on how difficult it is for men to be open, Adro shares some big news, and more.

Notes:

Jack picks a bone with himself
Why it's hard for guys to open up about their feelings
Guys not being afforded the same grace to be open about their feelings
Supporting men versus telling them to suck it up
Feeling bad about feeling relieved when you have some time away from the kids
Adro taking making his health a priority
What it's like to be diagnosed with depression
Jeff's experience with Zoloft
Jeff makes Adro cry
How creating stability helps your children
Admin Bob makes Adro cry
Reviewing our best moments from Season 1
Why it's important for men to open up to other men
Jack and Adro make a bet

Connected Episodes:

Adro’s Addiction: https://visibleman.org/vm-live-08-26-21-adros-addiction/
Bob’s Tinder Saga: https://visibleman.org/tag/bobs-tinder-saga/
A Visible Woman on Visible Man:https://visibleman.org/a-visible-woman-on-visible-man/

Links:

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-TALK (800-273-8255) or text “VM” to 741741
American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) Loss Survivors: https://afsp.org/ive-lost-someoneAFSP
After an Attempt: https://afsp.org/after-an-attempt
National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) for family members and caregivers: https://www.nami.org/Your-Journey/Family-Members-and-Caregivers
NAMI: https://www.nami.org/home
Join Us: https://discord.gg/YbQDWqUC
Visible Man: https://www.visibleman.org/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSPFY2_fDLiw0WLcxZErasg
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/visibleman.org/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/VisiblemanO
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/visibleman_org/
Catch up on past episodes here: https://visibleman.org/the-visible-man-podcast/

This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/support

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On this episode of VM Live, the boys discuss whether or not they have turned down sex, they get an update on Evan’s surgery, they try to find the meaning of Christmas through others, and Jeff talks about plants, again (probably).

Notes:

Do guys ever turn down sex?
Can men get sexually assaulted?
Going regimental with your kilt around women of a certain age
Consent has no gender
Evan's top surgery update
Christmas decorations
Holiday plans and living vicariously through others and their Christmas spirit

Links:

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-TALK (800-273-8255) or text “VM” to 741741
American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) Loss Survivors: https://afsp.org/ive-lost-someoneAFSP
After an Attempt: https://afsp.org/after-an-attempt
National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) for family members and caregivers: https://www.nami.org/Your-Journey/Family-Members-and-Caregivers
NAMI: https://www.nami.org/home
Join Us: https://discord.gg/YbQDWqUC
Visible Man: https://www.visibleman.org/
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSPFY2_fDLiw0WLcxZErasg
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/visibleman.org/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/VisiblemanO
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/visibleman_org/
Catch up on past episodes here: https://visibleman.org/the-visible-man-podcast/

This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/support

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On today’s episode taken from a live talk hosted on the VM Discord Server, Jeff chats with divorce attorney, speaker, blogger, radio personality, and host of the Divorcing Well Podcast, Leanne Townsend who gives divorced parents some advice on how to survive the holidays.

You’ll hear Jeff interview Leanne for a while and then he will open up the conversation to our live Discord audience for a Q&A.

Just a quick reminder, this episode is educational in nature and not legal advice. If you need legal advice, please seek out the appropriate legal professional.

Notes:

Leanne’s perspective on how to handle the holidays as a divorced parent
What got Leanne into being a divorced attorney
Leanne’s personal experience as a divorced parent
Why you should create new traditions
Remembering to put the children first
How to coordinate visitation during the holiday season
How to coordinate visitation during the holiday season as a high conflict couple
How to handle the gift situation with split families
The most important thing to focus on during the holiday season (and it’s not what gifts you get the kids)
What if a child doesn’t want to go to the other parent’s house for Christmas?
How to take care of yourself as a single parent during the holiday season
The difference between the support systems of men and women regarding divorce and mental health
Tips on dealing with your mental health during the holidays
How to deal with the ex’s family (meddling in-laws)
How to support your divorced friend or family member
Audience Q&A

Links:

Leanne Townsend | Family Lawyer & Divorce Strategist: https://leannetownsend.ca/
Divorcing Well Podcast: https://leannetownsend.ca/divorcing-well/
The Dish on Divorce: https://leannetownsend.ca/the-dish-on-divorce/
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-TALK (800-273-8255) or text "VM" to 741741
American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) Loss Survivors: https://afsp.org/ive-lost-someoneAFSP
After an Attempt: https://afsp.org/after-an-attempt
National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) for family members and caregivers: https://www.nami.org/Your-Journey/Family-Members-and-Caregivers
NAMI: https://www.nami.org/home
Join Us: https://discord.gg/YbQDWqUC
Visible Man: https://www.visibleman.org/
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSPFY2_fDLiw0WLcxZErasg
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/visibleman.org/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/VisiblemanO

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/visibleman_org/

This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/support

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The guys take a look at misogyny and how it affects the VM Community. Also, Jeff had a thing with his boat...

Links

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-TALK (800-273-8255) or text "VM" to 741741
American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) Loss Survivors: https://afsp.org/ive-lost-someoneAFSP
After an Attempt: https://afsp.org/after-an-attempt
National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) for family members and caregivers: https://www.nami.org/Your-Journey/Family-Members-and-Caregivers
NAMI: https://www.nami.org/home
Join Us: https://discord.gg/YbQDWqUC
Visible Man: https://www.visibleman.org/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/visibleman.org/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/VisiblemanO
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/visibleman_org/

This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/support

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On the first VIDEO episode of VM Live, the Boys recap their Thanksgivings both recent and from days past.

Notes:

Movember updates
Oakland/Dallas game, Bob pays up for his losing Cowboys
Quiet gatherings this year
Worst Thanksgiving memories
Rich people food
Comedians in serious movie roles

Links:

DONATE TO AND/OR JOIN THE OFFICIAL VM MOVEMBER TEAM:https://us.movember.com/team/2398989
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-TALK (800-273-8255) or text "VM" to 741741
American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) Loss Survivors: https://afsp.org/ive-lost-someone
AFSP After an Attempt: https://afsp.org/after-an-attempt
National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) for family members and caregivers: https://www.nami.org/Your-Journey/Family-Members-and-Caregivers
NAMI: https://www.nami.org/home
Join Us: https://discord.gg/YbQDWqUC
VisibleMan: https://www.visibleman.org/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/visibleman.org/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/VisiblemanO
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/visibleman_org/

This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/support

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The boys get real and talk about how the holidays affect them.

Links:

DONATE TO AND/OR JOIN THE OFFICIAL VM MOVEMBER TEAM: https://us.movember.com/team/2398989
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-TALK (800-273-8255) or text "VM" to 741741
American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) Loss Survivors: https://afsp.org/ive-lost-someone
AFSP After an Attempt: https://afsp.org/after-an-attempt
National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) for family members and caregivers: https://www.nami.org/Your-Journey/Family-Members-and-Caregivers
NAMI: https://www.nami.org/home
Join Us: https://discord.gg/YbQDWqUC
VisibleMan: https://www.visibleman.org/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/visibleman.org/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/VisiblemanO
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/visibleman_org/

This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/support

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On this bonus episode, Jeff sits down with Movember’s Corporate Manager, Rich Loesing to discuss all the great work being done by the Movember Foundation.

DONATE to or JOIN the VM Movember Team: https://movember.com/t/visible-man?mc=1
MEN'S MENTAL HEALTH: https://us.movember.com/mens-health/mental-health
PROSTATE CANCER: https://us.movember.com/mens-health/prostate-cancer
TESTICLES - NOW THAT WE HAVE YOUR ATTENTION, HOW’S YOUR PAIR HANGIN'?: https://us.movember.com/mens-health/testicular-cancer
MEN'S HEALTH: https://us.movember.com/mens-health/general
SPOT A BRO WHO’S FEELING LOW: https://us.movember.com/mens-health/spot-the-signs
BE A MAN OF MORE WORDS: https://us.movember.com/mens-health/suicide-prevention
NEED SUPPORT?: https://us.movember.com/mens-health/get-support
NO MORE DEAD END CONVERSATIONS: https://conversations.movember.com/en-us/
FAMILY MAN: https://familyman.movember.com/?_ga=2.82100694.1180391347.1636242975-484582211.1634003818
TRUE NORTH: https://truenorth.movember.com/en-usOn this bonus episode, Jeff sits down with Movember’s Corporate Manager, to discuss all the great work being done by the Movember Foundation.

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/support

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The boys share some of their experiences on fatherhood both before and after their divorces.

Links:

DONATE TO AND/OR JOIN THE OFFICIAL VM MOVEMBER TEAM: https://us.movember.com/team/2398989
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-TALK (800-273-8255) or text "VM" to 741741
American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) Loss Survivors: https://afsp.org/ive-lost-someone
AFSP After an Attempt: https://afsp.org/after-an-attempt
National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) for family members and caregivers: https://www.nami.org/Your-Journey/Family-Members-and-Caregivers
NAMI: https://www.nami.org/home
Join Us: https://discord.gg/YbQDWqUC
VisibleMan: https://www.visibleman.org/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/visibleman.org/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/VisiblemanO
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/visibleman_org/

This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

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On this special extended-length episode, the boys dig deep and discuss their greatest fears.

Links:

DONATE TO AND/OR JOIN THE OFFICIAL VM MOVEMBER TEAM: https://us.movember.com/team/2398989
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-TALK (800-273-8255) or text "VM" to 741741
American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) Loss Survivors: https://afsp.org/ive-lost-someone
AFSP After an Attempt: https://afsp.org/after-an-attempt
National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) for family members and caregivers: https://www.nami.org/Your-Journey/Family-Members-and-Caregivers
NAMI: https://www.nami.org/home
Join Us: https://discord.gg/YbQDWqUC
VisibleMan: https://www.visibleman.org/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/visibleman.org/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/VisiblemanO
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/visibleman_org/

This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

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On this episode of VM Live, the guys discuss what they wish they had known about life, love, and everything in between.

DONATE TO AND/OR JOIN THE OFFICIAL VM MOVEMBER TEAM: https://us.movember.com/team/2398989
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-TALK (800-273-8255) or text "VM" to 741741
American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) Loss Survivors: https://afsp.org/ive-lost-someone
AFSP After an Attempt: https://afsp.org/after-an-attempt
National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) for family members and caregivers: https://www.nami.org/Your-Journey/Family-Members-and-Caregivers
NAMI: https://www.nami.org/home
Join Us: https://discord.gg/YbQDWqUC
VisibleMan: https://www.visibleman.org/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/visibleman.org/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/VisiblemanO
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/visibleman_org/

This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

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Jeff chats with Lisa Nolan the Director of Prevention Education for the Willow Domestic Violence Center in Rochester New York.

Notes

What is the language we should be using when discussing domestic violence?
The different perspectives on men and domestic violence
How do we stop domestic violence?
What is domestic violence and what does it look like?
The signs of domestic violence
Does domestic violence happen outside of sexual relationships?
How the Britney Spears situation shows us what domestic violence in the family can look like
What are the outward signs of domestic violence?
What is gaslighting?
Are abusers aware that they are abusing?
Abuse versus anger management issues
Why do people abuse? Where does it come from?
How Lisa’s experience as a campus judge for a college opened her eyes to the reality of domestic violence
Men’s versus women’s experiences with domestic violence
What hurdles do male sexual abuse survivors face?
Domestic Violence in the LGBTQIA community
How do people end up in abusive relationships?
Why are abusive relationships hard to leave?
Audience Q&A
What we can do to help

Links

Willow Domestic Violence Center: http://willowcenterny.org/
The National Domestic Violence Hotline: http://thehotline.org/
Rape Abuse & Incest National Network: http://rainn.org/

The CDC

Fast Facts about DV: https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/intimatepartnerviolence/index.html
Information on Adverse Childhood Experiences: https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/aces
The Power and Control Wheel: https://www.nsvrc.org/sites/default/files/2019-08/Gender%20Neutral%20Power%20Control%20Wheel.pdf
Brene Brown’s RSA Short: Empathy: https://brenebrown.com/videos/rsa-short-empathy/
DONATE TO AND/OR JOIN THE OFFICIAL VM MOVEMBER TEAM: https://us.movember.com/team/2398989
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-TALK (800-273-8255) or text "VM" to 741741
American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) Loss Survivors: https://afsp.org/ive-lost-someone
AFSP After an Attempt: https://afsp.org/after-an-attempt
National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) for family members and caregivers: https://www.nami.org/Your-Journey/Family-Members-and-Caregivers
NAMI: https://www.nami.org/home
Join Us: https://discord.gg/YbQDWqUC
VisibleMan: https://www.visibleman.org/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/visibleman.org/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/VisiblemanO
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/visibleman_org/

This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

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The boys reflect on what brought them to Visible Man, what's kept them there, and what they hope to see it become in the future.

Experience with VM and how it impacts you personally

Importance of connection when going through life stuff
Easier to open up online with people you don’t know, less judgment
Open, honest, real vulnerability
Ability to discuss personal issues from a man’s perspective

Looking forward, what would you like to see VM become?

Local, regional, worldwide focus
Grow large enough to need VM chapters in different cities
Help save lives
Several hundred members active in chats
Planning in person VM meetups
Bridge the gap in the conversation between going through stuff and going to therapy
Spread the word, spread the mission
Increase content creation and distribution (incorporate video, social media, etc)
Identify specific traits - what is a Visible Man?
Skills training to acquire specific traits of a Visible Man

Links

Visible Man - Movember Team 2021- Join the team or donate
The Positive Effects of Running on Mental Health - PubMed
Seasonal Depression (SAD): Symptoms and Causes
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-TALK (800-273-8255) or text "VM" to 741741
American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) Loss Survivors: https://afsp.org/ive-lost-someone
AFSP After an Attempt: https://afsp.org/after-an-attempt
National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) for family members and caregivers: https://www.nami.org/Your-Journey/Family-Members-and-Caregivers
NAMI: https://www.nami.org/home
Join Us: https://discord.gg/YbQDWqUC
VisibleMan: https://www.visibleman.org/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/visibleman.org/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/VisiblemanO
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/visibleman_org/

Topics

Highs and lows of the week
Season change and less daylight sucks
Separation and divorce
Drinking
Suicidal ideation
Job loss and family stress
Vulnerability
Be visible
Create connection
Looking for validation in different places

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On this episode of the Visible Man podcast, Jeff sits down with suicide-loss survivor, speaker, author, founder of No Stigmas, and creator of the 5 Bridges to wellness Jacob Moore to discuss mental health, relationships, wellness, and everything in between.

This episode contains discussions about suicide and losing people to suicide so it may be triggering to some individuals.

Just a quick reminder, This episode is educational in nature and not medical advice. If you need medical advice, please seek out the appropriate medical professional.

Notes:

How you see yourself versus how the world sees you
How 5 Bridges to Wellness came to be
How a good relationship can really help you grow
Making it safe for other people to open up while not forgetting our own boundaries, needs, etc
Why every couple should go to couple’s therapy.
How Jacob divorced a girl before having their first date and then ended up marrying her
Why peer support networks matter
The first bridge - bond and why we need to diversify your bonds
How do you figure out what you need?
Figuring out the difference between want and need
Masculine and feminine energy and how those energies affect our mental health
The importance of giving within your own capacity
Audience Q&A

Links:

NoStigmas https://www.nostigmas.org/
5 Bridges Wellness https://www.the5bridges.com/|
https://brenebrown.com/podcast/brene-with-drs-john-and-julie-gottman-on-what-makes-love-last/
https://lewishowes.com/podcast/devon-franklin-relationships-love-and-lust/
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-TALK (800-273-8255) or text "VM" to 741741
American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) Loss Survivors: https://afsp.org/ive-lost-someone
AFSP After an Attempt: https://afsp.org/after-an-attempt
National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) for family members and caregivers: https://www.nami.org/Your-Journey/Family-Members-and-Caregivers
NAMI: https://www.nami.org/home
Join Us: https://discord.gg/YbQDWqUC
VisibleMan: https://www.visibleman.org/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/visibleman.org/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/VisiblemanO
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/visibleman_org/

This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

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Intern and Visible Woman, Steph Ketty takes the reins and discusses some of the topics brought up on past episodes of VM Live with regular hosts Jeff and Jack.

Notes:

How Steph found VM
Childhood foods: city chicken, warm tuna, bologna tacos
Parents aren’t out to do a bad job raising kids
You’re an adult when you’re able to see your parents as humans
When is your first memory feeling unsafe?
How was sex talked about at home
How are you raising your kids
Religious upbringing
Sexual assault
Having to figure out sex and consent on your own
Feeling unsafe around men
Therapy
Sexual identity
Marriage
Infidelity
Changing truths

Links:

I Never Called It Rape: The Ms. Report on Recognizing, Fighting, and Surviving Date and Acquaintance Rape by Robin Warshaw: https://www.amazon.com/Never-Called-Rape-Recognizing-Acquaintance/dp/0060925728
Adios Barbie: https://www.adiosbarbie.com/
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-TALK (800-273-8255) or text "VM" to 741741
American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) Loss Survivors: https://afsp.org/ive-lost-someone
AFSP After an Attempt: https://afsp.org/after-an-attempt
National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) for family members and caregivers: https://www.nami.org/Your-Journey/Family-Members-and-Caregivers
NAMI: https://www.nami.org/home
Join Us: https://discord.gg/YbQDWqUC
VisibleMan: https://www.visibleman.org/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/visibleman.org/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/VisiblemanO
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/visibleman_org/

This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

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I Never Called It Rape: The Ms. Report on Recognizing, Fighting, and Surviving Date and Acquaintance Rape

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When most people think about protective orders, they assume the orders are being placed on a man, but that's not always the case. In this episode of VM Live, Adro discusses why he had to get protective orders, how difficult it was to do so, and why even though he did nothing wrong, his life went under the microscope.

Links:

VM Live! 08-26-21 - Adro's Addiction: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/episodes/VM-Live--08-26-21---Adros-Addiction-e16hpu0

Therapy Is... Magic: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/episodes/Therapy-Is----Magic-e181jij

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-TALK (800-273-8255) or text "VM" to 741741 * American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) Loss Survivors: https://afsp.org/ive-lost-someone * AFSP After an Attempt: https://afsp.org/after-an-attempt * National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) for family members and caregivers: https://www.nami.org/Your-Journey/Family-Members-and-Caregivers * NAMI: https://www.nami.org/home * Join Us: https://discord.gg/YbQDWqUC * VisibleMan: https://www.visibleman.org/ * Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/visibleman.org/ * Twitter: https://twitter.com/VisiblemanO * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/visibleman_org/

News Theme by Kevin MacLeod is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 license. https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Artist: http://incompetech.com/

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Have you been to therapy recently?

A goal we have at VM is to make men’s mental health a dinner table topic and one of the ways we can do that is by demystifying and destigmatizing the practice of going to therapy.

We, men, are notorious for our ability to avoid seeking help and almost equally notorious for our ability to come up with excuses for not doing so. When it comes to therapy, most of it is based on fear. Fear of looking (or actually being) weak, fear of looking (or actually being) broken, fear of the process itself. The reasons for our fears are almost as numerous as our excuses. Fellas, it’s time we make a change.

In her debut book, ‘Therapy is…Magic: An essential guide to the ups, downs and life-changing experiences of talking therapy’ trainee psychotherapist, award-winning mental health advocate, artist and author, Jo Love reveals everything you’ve wanted to know but been too scared to ask about the world of therapy. This is a passionate and unflinchingly honest account of Jo’s own mental health journey and an essential read for those curious about or considering entering therapy. Written from the unique perspective of a person in therapy, the book provides a rarely heard voice in the mental wellness space. With the help of experts including her own therapist, Jo opens a rare window into the secretive world of therapy, unpicking the magical powers that enabled her to find her voice, grow her resilience and ultimately save herself from her own mind.

Jeff sat down with Jo and discussed how therapy is indeed, magic.

This podcast is educational in nature and not medical advice. If you need medical advice, please seek out the appropriate medical professional.

Links:

Order Jo’s Book: https://www.bookdepository.com/Therapy-is-Magic-Jo-Love/9781529348439

Jo’s Website: https://www.jolove.co.uk/ * Jo’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jo__love__/ * National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-TALK (800-273-8255) or text "VM" to 741741 * American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) Loss Survivors: https://afsp.org/ive-lost-someone * AFSP After an Attempt: https://afsp.org/after-an-attempt * National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) for family members and caregivers: https://www.nami.org/Your-Journey/Family-Members-and-Caregivers * NAMI: https://www.nami.org/home * Join Us: https://discord.gg/YbQDWqUC * VisibleMan: https://www.visibleman.org/ * Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/visibleman.org/ * Twitter: https://twitter.com/VisiblemanO * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/visibleman_org/

This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

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The gang gets welcomes intern/dating expert Steph back onto the show for the long-awaited results of Admin Bob’s Tinder Experiment.

Notes:

Bob’s Tinder results
Why didn’t Bob get the results he hoped for?
Do pictures or bio matter more on a dating profile?
Tinder for women versus tinder for men
Tinder versus hitting on people in person
Tinder versus more mature dating sites
Are party lines still a thing?
Double standards and why they probably aren’t always that bad
The new plan to get Bob a date
How to be a proper wingman

Links:

VM Live! 08-19-21 - Admin Bob Gets on Tinder: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/episodes/VM-Live--08-19-21---Admin-Bob-Gets-on-Tinder-e167v3l

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-TALK (800-273-8255) or text "VM" to 741741 American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) Loss Survivors: https://afsp.org/ive-lost-someone AFSP After an Attempt: https://afsp.org/after-an-attempt National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) for family members and caregivers: https://www.nami.org/Your-Journey/Family-Members-and-Caregivers NAMI: https://www.nami.org/home Join Us: https://discord.gg/YbQDWqUC VisibleMan: https://www.visibleman.org/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/visibleman.org/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/VisiblemanO Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/visibleman_org/

This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

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Are men taught to hide their emotions or are they just born that way? Is humor helpful or a disguise? When men do express emotions, do they do it right? On this episode of VM Live the boys explore all of this and more as they open up about opening up.

Notes:

Hipster suspenders
Jeff is dressing outside his comfort zone
Emotional safety
Growing up learning “boys don’t cry”
Crying in kids sports
Hats
Does society actually allow men to be vulnerable
Humor and sarcasm as defense mechanisms
Chandler without the laugh track
“My friends that I cry with” and people we cannot be open with
Stable safe spaces
Suppressed emotions
Modeling behavior for our kids
The three movies men are allowed to cry at
Learning we must be strong for others at a young age
Vulnerability in the transmasculine experience
Nature vs nurture
Jeff’s lifehack
Asking: how do you want me to respond?

Links:

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-TALK (800-273-8255) or text "VM" to 741741
American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) Loss Survivors: https://afsp.org/ive-lost-someone
AFSP After an Attempt: https://afsp.org/after-an-attempt
National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) for family members and caregivers: https://www.nami.org/Your-Journey/Family-Members-and-Caregivers
NAMI: https://www.nami.org/home
Join Us: https://discord.gg/YbQDWqUC
VisibleMan: https://www.visibleman.org/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/visibleman.org/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/VisiblemanO
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/visibleman_org/

This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/support

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Our producer Evan steps into the studio for a discussion on his journey as a transgender man. We cover his revelation, coming out to family, friends, and work, the effects of his journey, and more.

Notes:

Identifying as transgender
Gender and gender identity
Coming out to family
Coming out at work
Selecting a new name
Transitioning
Testosterone

Links:

What Does Transgender Mean? | Gender Identification Facts

Transgender people feel that the sex they were assigned at birth doesn’t match their gender identity, or the gender that they feel they are inside.https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/gender-identity/transgender

What Does the Bible Say About Transgender People?

Our latest resource provides a brief overview of the Bible’s precedent for affirming full inclusion of trans and non-binary people.https://www.hrc.org/resources/what-does-the-bible-say-about-transgender-people

A systematic review the relationship between religion and attitudes toward transgender and gender-variant people https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6830999/

Trevor Support Center- Coming Out

Coming out is when a person decides to reveal an important part of who they are with someone in their life. For many LGBTQ people, this involves sharing their sexual orientation and/or gender identity. https://www.thetrevorproject.org/trvr_support_center/coming-out/

What Is Deadnaming and Why Is It Harmful?

Deadnaming is the act of calling a person by their former name that they no longer use. Learn why it isn't an acceptable practice.https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-deadnaming-and-why-is-it-harmful-5188575

What Do I Need to Know About the Transitioning Process?

Transgender people experience transitioning differently. Some transition socially, legally & medically, some only socially & some may not do any of these. https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/gender-identity/transgender/what-do-i-need-know-about-transitioning

Changing Your Name or Gender Marker Under the Gender Recognition Act

On June 24, 2021 the Gender Recognition Act (GRA) was signe

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Sex is a messy topic. We all know that. It’s complicated, confusing, and can be damaging to our mental health. Conversations about it are fraught with misconceptions and at times flat-out incorrect information. That’s why discussions like today’s are so important. They give us the opportunity to talk about sex in a safe, clinical, and nonjudgemental place.

In this episode, Jeff has a chat with licensed master of social work and psychotherapist, Tyler Buchiero from Rochester Center for Sexual Wellness. Tyler has a particular interest in working with individuals struggling with sexual functioning problems, as well as intimacy issues and LGBTQIA-related concerns. He works through the lens that the understanding and intervention in these complex life experiences is driven by the strength of the therapeutic relationship. To that end, safety is foundational to all treatment, as is the pursuit of the emotional truth of the situation.

Due to the nature of this episode, we advise that you keep it away from sensitive ears.

And just a reminder, this podcast is educational in nature and not medical advice. If you need medical advice, please seek out the appropriate medical professional.

Notes:

Why would someone seek out a sex therapist over a traditional therapist?
What issues are addressed in sex therapy?
What do people talk about when they come in?
Why Tyler decided to specialize in sex and why sex therapy is even a thing
How people think guys talk about sex versus how they actually talk about sex
Stigmas, perceptions, and the truth about what men and women think regarding sex
Sex versus intimacy and how they work together (or not)
What men need to feel connected to another individual in a romantic and sexual way
The common concerns men have regarding sex and the expectations of society
Besides medical issues, the number 1 cause of erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, and other sexual performance issues
How the conversation with a sex therapist starts
Fixing a dead bedroom
Consent and how asking for it, but also how it can be incredibly sexy to do so
How treatment has changed for members of the trans community in recent years
Audience Q&A

Links:

Yes, No, Maybe Lists: https://selfservetoys.com/resourcecenter/favorite-yesnomaybe-lists-available-online/
“She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman” by Ian Kerner: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B000FC1PRK/
The Rochester Center for Sexual Wellness: https://rochestercenterforsexualwellness.com/
Pornhub’s Sexual Wellness Site: https://www.pornhub.com/sex/
Sex and Relationships - A Conversation with Pornhub's Dr. Laurie Betito: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/episodes/Sex-and-Relationships---A-Conversation-with-Pornhubs-Dr--Laurie-Betito-e160p5v
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-TALK (800-273-8255) or text "VM" to 741741
American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) Loss Survivors: https://afsp.org/ive-lost-someone
AFSP After an Attempt: https://afsp.org/after-an-attempt
National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) for family members and caregivers: https://www.nami.org/Your-Journey/Family-Members-and-Caregivers
NAMI: https://www.nami.org/home
Join Us: https://discord.gg/YbQDWqUC
Visible Man: https://www.visibleman.org/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/visibleman.org/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/VisiblemanO
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/visibleman_org/

This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

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She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman

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On this episode of VM Live the boys get real and talk about some of the difficulties they’ve had when it comes to sex.

This podcast is educational in nature and not medical advice. If you need medical advice, please seek out the appropriate medical professional.

Notes:

Continuing the theme of sex
The guys share times they felt emotionally unsafe
Religious upbringing
Having “the talk”
Porn stars as professional athletes
Sex playlists
How much do guys really talk about it
Body image

Links:

“She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman” by Ian Kerner: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B000FC1PRK/
The Rochester Center for Sexual Wellness: https://rochestercenterforsexualwellness.com/
Pornhub’s Sexual Wellness Site: https://www.pornhub.com/sex/
Sex and Relationships - A Conversation with Pornhub's Dr. Laurie Betito: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/episodes/Sex-and-Relationships---A-Conversation-with-Pornhubs-Dr--Laurie-Betito-e160p5v
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-TALK (800-273-8255) or text "VM" to 741741
American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) Loss Survivors: https://afsp.org/ive-lost-someone
AFSP After an Attempt: https://afsp.org/after-an-attempt
National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) for family members and caregivers: https://www.nami.org/Your-Journey/Family-Members-and-Caregivers
NAMI: https://www.nami.org/home
Join Us: https://discord.gg/YbQDWqUC
VisibleMan: https://www.visibleman.org/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/visibleman.org/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/VisiblemanO

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/visibleman_org/

This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

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Today’s episode came from a Live Talk VM founder Jeff Hoffman had with Licensed Clinical Psychologist with a specialty in Sex Therapy, Dr. Laurie Betito.

Dr. Laurie tapped into her experience in the field and as the Sexual Wellness Director of Pornhub to cover topics from penis size, to the incel movement, women’s pubic hair trends, and much more.

Due to the nature of the content in this episode, we advise you to keep it away from little ears. There also may be some content that may be triggering to some of our listeners.

Just a quick reminder, This podcast is educational in nature and not medical advice. If you need medical advice, please seek out the appropriate medical professional.

Links:

Dr. Laurie's Website: https://www.drlaurie.com/
Passion with Dr. Laurie Betito (podcast): https://open.spotify.com/show/02WehPlKf88CtvStyUMLv1?si=7s-ew0r8TayZf9tgccFJSg&dl_branch=1
Pornhub's Sexual Wellness Center: https://www.pornhub.com/sex/
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-TALK (800-273-8255) or text "VM" to 741741
American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) Loss Survivors: https://afsp.org/ive-lost-someone
AFSP After an Attempt: https://afsp.org/after-an-attempt
National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) for family members and caregivers: https://www.nami.org/Your-Journey/Family-Members-and-Caregivers
NAMI: https://www.nami.org/home
Join Us: https://discord.gg/YbQDWqUC
VisibleMan: https://www.visibleman.org/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/visibleman.org/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/VisiblemanO
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/visibleman_org/

This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/support

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According to the Addiction Center

Almost 21 million Americans have at least one addiction, yet only 10% of them receive treatment.
Drug overdose deaths have more than tripled since 1990.
From 1999 to 2017, more than 700,000 Americans died from overdosing on a drug.
Alcohol and drug addiction cost the U.S. economy over $600 billion every year.
In 2017, 34.2 million Americans committed DUI, 21.4 million under the influence of alcohol and 12.8 million under the influence of drugs.
About 20% of Americans who have depression or an anxiety disorder also have a substance use disorder.
More than 90% of people who have an addiction started to drink alcohol or use drugs before they were 18 years old.
Americans between the ages of 18 and 25 are most likely to use addictive drugs.

Our friend, castmate, and fellow Visible Man, Adro Martinez opens up and gets real while he tells us about his battle with addiction. This is one incredibly special and powerful episode.

Links:

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-TALK (800-273-8255) or text "VM" to 741741
American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) Loss Survivors: https://afsp.org/ive-lost-someone
AFSP After an Attempt: https://afsp.org/after-an-attempt
National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) for family members and caregivers: https://www.nami.org/Your-Journey/Family-Members-and-Caregivers
NAMI: https://www.nami.org/home
Join Us: https://discord.gg/YbQDWqUC
VisibleMan: https://www.visibleman.org/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/visibleman.org/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/VisiblemanO
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/visibleman_org/

This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/support

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In this episode, Jeff sits down and chats with Nancy Shawki to discuss her insights on male mental health. This perspective is especially interesting as Nancy who founded Vanguard Therapy is a licensed clinical social worker with over a decade’s worth of experience working with men in a therapy setting.

Notes

How losing a friend to suicide drew Nancy into the mental health field
Observations on men and mental health
How the concept of toxic masculinity has made it difficult for men to reach out for help and support
When should you start going to therapy?
Approaching therapy with men vs women
Is having a female therapist different?
How culture and society negatively view men’s mental health
Is it ok for men to cry?
Why “manning up” is not a good idea
The signs of anxiety and depression in men
What makes a man a man?
How we can fix the problem
CBT vs DBT vs Eclectic Therapy
Audience Q&A

Links

Vanguard Therapy: http://www.vanguardtherapy.com/
The Messy Problem of Race and Mental Health: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/episodes/The-Messy-Problem-of-Race-and-Mental-Health-esvg8d
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-TALK (800-273-8255) or text "VM" to 741741
American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) Loss Survivors: https://afsp.org/ive-lost-someone
AFSP After an Attempt: https://afsp.org/after-an-attempt
National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) for family members and caregivers: https://www.nami.org/Your-Journey/Family-Members-and-Caregivers
NAMI: https://www.nami.org/home
Join Us: https://discord.gg/YbQDWqUC
VisibleMan: https://www.visibleman.org/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/visibleman.org/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/VisiblemanO
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/visibleman_org/

This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/support

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Admin Bob is a good-looking, kind, adventurous single father who has been having a bit of trouble finding love. So, the logical thing to do would be to send our intern/romance expert Steph out to do a ton of research on online dating and what works vs what doesn’t so we could come up with the perfect Tinder profile for Bob. So, that’s what we did.

Notes:

Intros
Bob dry spell backstory
Tinder, online dating experience
Bob - been on dates, no relationships since his divorce
He’s a good guy, what’s he doing wrong? Tinder wrong place?
Segment 2 Steph’s study results
Segment 3 Writing the profile

Links:

Tinder Data: https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1GcCUNcru7wPAo2wlh_7eNKZwnoRHj2ob?usp=sharing
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-TALK (800-273-8255) or text "VM" to 741741
American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) Loss Survivors: https://afsp.org/ive-lost-someone
AFSP After an Attempt: https://afsp.org/after-an-attempt
National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) for family members and caregivers: https://www.nami.org/Your-Journey/Family-Members-and-Caregivers
NAMI: https://www.nami.org/home
Join Us: https://discord.gg/YbQDWqUC
VisibleMan: https://www.visibleman.org/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/visibleman.org/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/VisiblemanO
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/visibleman_org/

This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/support

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On this episode, Jeff chats with the Essential Stepmom, Tracy Poizner about how to be an amazing stepmom without driving you, your partner, or your partner’s kids absolutely nuts.

How discord is beneficial to helping men open up about their mental health
Helping girlfriends and partners learn to understand the pain, problems, and baggage a divorced father can carry with him
How partners can help their partner be a good father without trying to be a parent themselves
How Tracy helps the women help their men and how she actually gets the men involved themselves
Why single fathers can get overwhelmed and what partners can do to help
How a toxic ex can make parenting difficult
The new parenting tools men need to be a single father, especially when being undermined by their ex
Why the stepmom needs to remember to take a step back and not try to be a mom to his kids
Why stepchildren are less likely to want to please stepparents
How to be a smarter parent
How to reach out to the men in your life and help them with their struggles
Why you should learn to step away, let him be the parent, and only help when asked and how to do it
Live Audience Q&A

Links:

Essential Stepmom: https://essentialstepmom.com/
The Essential Mom Podcast: https://essentialstepmom.com/episodes/

Stepmom Magazine: https://www.stepmommag.com/ * Team Superdad: https://www.teamsuperdad.com/ * National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-TALK (800-273-8255) or text "VM" to 741741 * American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) Loss Survivors: https://afsp.org/ive-lost-someone * AFSP After an Attempt: https://afsp.org/after-an-attempt * National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) for family members and caregivers: https://www.nami.org/Your-Journey/Family-Members-and-Caregivers * NAMI: https://www.nami.org/home * Join Us: https://discord.gg/YbQDWqUC * VisibleMan: https://www.visibleman.org/ * Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/visibleman.org/ * Twitter: https://twitter.com/VisiblemanO * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/visibleman_org/

This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/support

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Notes:

White people food
Getting Admin Bob on Tinder next week
Chris tells his story of alcoholism, a suicide attempt, going to an inpatient medical facility, and his constant battle with his mental health
Great news about the PHP Program in Buffalo

Links

Grants Awarded to ECMC to Expand Innovative Outpatient Behavioral Health Programs: https://www.ecmc.edu/grants-awarded-ecmc-expand-innovative-outpatient-behavioral-health-programs/
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-TALK (800-273-8255) or text "VM" to 741741
American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) Loss Survivors: https://afsp.org/ive-lost-someone
AFSP After an Attempt: https://afsp.org/after-an-attempt
National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) for family members and caregivers: https://www.nami.org/Your-Journey/Family-Members-and-Caregivers
NAMI: https://www.nami.org/home
Join Us: https://discord.gg/YbQDWqUC
VisibleMan: https://www.visibleman.org/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/visibleman.org/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/VisiblemanO
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/visibleman_org/

This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/support

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Jeff chats with Garra Lloyd-lester, the Associate Director of the Suicide Prevention Center of NYS about the problem of men’s suicide and what can do to help.

How to speak to suicide loss survivors
Suicide rates in the United States and what those numbers mean
How can we help men specifically
But really, how can we help our male loved ones
Safety plans and why we all should have one
How virtual discussions can lead to real vulnerability
Mental health and the COVID-19 pandemic
Mental health vs mental illness
Sharing experiences and making connections
Audience Q&A

Links:

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-TALK (800-273-8255) or text "VM" to 741741

Gara’s LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/garra-lloyd-lester-43053838/

Suicide Prevention Center of New York State: https://www.preventsuicideny.org/

American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) Loss Survivors: https://afsp.org/ive-lost-someone

AFSP After an Attempt: https://afsp.org/after-an-attempt

National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) for family members and caregivers: https://www.nami.org/Your-Journey/Family-Members-and-Caregivers

NAMI: https://www.nami.org/home

Join Us: https://discord.gg/YbQDWqUC

VisibleMan: https://www.visibleman.org/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/visibleman.org/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/VisiblemanO

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/visibleman_org/

This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/support

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Jack, Jeff, and the gang discuss their past issues with alcohol.

Alcoholics Anonymous: https://www.aa.org/

Join Us: https://discord.gg/YbQDWqUC

VisibleMan: https://www.visibleman.org/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/visibleman.org/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/VisiblemanO

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/visibleman_org/

This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/support

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Just another conversation where men complain about child support - only this time, you are invited to listen in!

Join Us: https://discord.gg/YbQDWqUC

VisibleMan: https://www.visibleman.org/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/visibleman.org/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/VisiblemanO

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/visibleman_org/

This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/support

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The boys get real during a venting session on the first episode of VM Live!

Join Us: https://discord.gg/YbQDWqUC

VisibleMan: https://www.visibleman.org/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/visibleman.org/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/VisiblemanO

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/visibleman_org/

This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

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This recording came from a talk VM founder Jeff Hoffman had with Jonathan Westfall the current Interim Executive Director of ROCovery Fitness a supportive community of physically active individuals brought together by sober living, committed to creating an environment of healing and recovery. It’s a place where members, friends and families are empowered to discover their inner strength and confidence through adventure, fun and camaraderie.

As with all of our talks, this is for education and entertainment purposes only. When dealing with addiction and/or recovery please seek the help of a licensed specialist in your area.

**ROCovery Fitness: https://www.rocoveryfitness.org/

Join Us: https://discord.gg/YbQDWqUC

VisibleMan: https://www.visibleman.org/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/visibleman.org/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/VisiblemanO

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/visibleman_org/**

This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

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In this week’s episode, Jeff Hoffman sits down with Craig Johnson, Licensed Mental Health Counselor - LMHC, CASAC-G - Highly experienced, specializing in life transitions, substance use, anxiety, depression, criminal justice involvement for a discussion on addiction and recovery.

Links:

Join Us: https://discord.gg/YbQDWqUCVisibleMan: https://www.visibleman.org/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/visibleman.org/Twitter: https://twitter.com/VisiblemanOInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/visibleman_org/

This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/support

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In this week’s episode, Jeff Hoffman sits down with Tom Andriola a child sex abuse survivor and advocate to discuss the difficulties many survivors face.

Because of the content of this episode, we suggest you keep it away from sensitive ears. Some parts may be triggering for some listeners as well.

Links:

VisibleMan: https://www.visibleman.org/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/visibleman.org/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/VisiblemanO

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/visibleman_org/

This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/support

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The topic of Men’s Mental Health has always been a touchy one, after all, that’s one of the major reasons Visible Man was created, but when you factor in race, things get even more complicated.

That’s why during black history month, the founder of Visible Man, Jeffrey Hoffman sat down virtually with Dr. Marcus Burrell who opened all of our eyes while they discussed the messy problem of race and mental health.

This show is for entertainment purposes only. When dealing with issues of mental health, please seek the advice of a medical professional. Thank you.

VisibleMan: https://www.visibleman.org/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/visibleman.org/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/VisiblemanO

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/visibleman_org/

This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/support

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In this episode founder of Visible Man, Jeffrey Hoffman sits down “virtually” with Deb Rosen from the Bivona Child Advocacy Center in New York. Because of the nature of the conversation, we suggest you listen with headphones or away from little ears.

And as always, the discussion is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Remember, local laws vary greatly so when seeking out information, make sure to contact a child advocacy center or law enforcement in your own area for more information.

Links:

Bivona Child Advocacy Center: https://www.bivonacac.orgVisibleMan: https://www.visibleman.org/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/visibleman.org/Twitter: https://twitter.com/VisiblemanOInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/visibleman_org/

This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/support

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In this episode founder of Visible Man, Jeffrey Hoffman sits down “virtually” with Renee Lapoint who runs the Mediation Center in Rochester, New York. They start the discussion with a little background information and then they open it up to a Q and A session with the members of the discord channel. This chat is full of helpful information for any man going through or thinking about going through the process of divorce and mediation.

This discussion is for educational and entertainment purposes only. When it comes to doing these things, always consult a lawyer or mediation specialist in your own area as laws differ greatly.

Links:

The Mediation Center: http://mediationctr.com/

The Mediation Center's Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/mediationctr/

The Mediation Center's Instagram page: https://www.instagram.com/themediationcenter

VisibleMan: https://www.visibleman.org/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/visibleman.org/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/VisiblemanO

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/visibleman_org/

This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/visibleman/support

The Visible Man Podcast: Recent Episodes

Jeffrey Hoffman