BuDhaBlog - 2021: Recent Episodes
Jessica Jesse
Jessica Jesse, founder, and CEO of BuDhaGirl has picked your favorite blogs and whimsically recorded them so you can now audibly follow them along.
“Beauty awakens the soul to act.” - *Dante Alighieri*
What is the force that makes us want to do something? To change something? To act on something? What is it that sets our soul on fire? For many, it’s simple. It’s the pure force of beauty.
Beauty is inspiring in more ways than one. Seeing something beautiful might inspire you to create something. You see an impressive landscape, meet a charming person, and you’re inspired to paint a composition, direct a movie, or pen a novel.
Hidden beauty is also a powerful force. Imagine a once-grand house that has fallen into ruin, or a war-torn country. You see potential in the underlying beauty and are inspired to make a change and restore the beauty that has always been there but is tucked away.
Lastly, unprotected beauty certainly demands that the soul acts. A magnificent beauty, such as an African elephant striding across the savannah, leaves you completely awestruck. While this beauty is moving, it’s also at risk. You ask yourself how you can protect this beauty, preserve it so that others might enjoy its beauty too.
Ask yourself what sets your soul on fire? Where is the underlying beauty in it? Does it inspire you to create, to act or to protect? Once you are aware of this beauty, you’ll be attuned to the elements of beauty that surround you every day.
We recently came across an incredible psychological study from Japan. The study tracked the effects of visual stimulation with bonsai trees on adult male patients with spinal cord injuries. Specific, yes, but the study in a larger sense speaks to the undeniable link between nature therapy and psychological relaxation. You don’t have to be suffering from a spinal cord injury or have a bonsai tree to reap the benefits of nature’s positive effect on the brain - there are things that we can do every day to engage with nature that will greatly impact our lives. These are five of our favorite (and easiest!) go-to’s…
- Walk outside. If the weather is nice, go for a morning walk outside in the fresh air rather than the gym. Seeing some green space and hearing nature sounds (such as birds chirping) directly influences your ability to recover from stress.
- Sit near a window. If you can, always choose an office desk near the window. Even small glimpses of nature can improve overall mood - the calming view can relax you and put things into perspective.
- Change your desktop. There’s a reason why people have their favorite vacation spot as their desktop background. In a study by Roger Ulrich, heart patients in the ICU could reduce their anxiety and need for pain medication by viewing pictures of trees and water.
- Buy flowers. A bouquet of flowers is a necessary indulgence if you ask us. The addition of plants and flowers to a workplace can positively affect creativity, productivity, and flexibility. Beautiful and useful - a win, win situation!
- Pet an animal. Whether it’s a BuDhaKitty or BuDhaPuppy, interacting with an animal has been proven to decrease stress levels, decrease heart rate and improve self-esteem.
Have you tried ecotherapy during challenging times in your life? Tell us about your experience and the techniques you’ve used in the comments below!
“Live in such a way that if someone spoke badly of you, no one would believe it.” - Unknown
Nobody wants to be talked about behind their back. But in that stinging moment, we discover that someone might not be singing our praises, we mustn’t forget that we are ultimately the ones who control the narrative of how people talk about us.
We have all experienced that moment when we learn that someone was speaking badly of us… talking about our character… our choices… our lives. As children, we’re taught not to speak badly of others, yet many adults grow up and do just that. Whether we like it or not, it’s a simply unavoidable fact of life. But that being said, perhaps we can change the script.
The solution here is two-fold. First, always do your best. When we do our best, say what we mean to say, be kind to others, and be true to ourselves, we establish a path for ourselves that we’re proud to walk on, and that others want to walk on, too. When we do something that goes off the path, maybe make a poor choice, say something unkind, etc., it’s up to each of us to make amends, to apologize to someone, to re-establish a habit, and so on. When we walk this path we are proud of ourselves, it doesn’t matter what someone might say when we are not there. We stand behind our choices, and others will see that.
The second solution is about the company you keep. If you are true to yourself, and make kind choices that you hold yourself accountable for, then what is there to speak badly of? The answer should be nothing. But if there are people around you who are speaking badly, perhaps the problem is not you, but those in your environment. In these situations, it’s up to each of us to reflect. Why could someone say these things? Are they pointing out something valid that we could improve? Or are their words more a reflection of themselves than they are of you?
For anyone who might have found themselves in a whirlwind of negativity lately, carve out some moments daily for self-reflection. Ask yourself what you do well, what you want to improve, and which people in your environment bring out the best in you. How can you map your own path that encourages you to be your best self, and invites wonderful friends into your existence?
Set your sights high, then go be it, BuDhaGirl.
“Most of us spend our lives as if we have another one in the bank.” Ben Irwin
How do you choose to live your life? Debit or Credit?
What I am referring to here is that with debit you are using the skills, feelings, and knowledge that you already have, in other words, these things are in your bank…in your life account.
Or…do you live with credit, meaning you are going outside of yourself to live life with a borrowed line of credit, or line of values?
Often, I am speechless when I see people living their lives in a manner that eventually will bankrupt them emotionally, physically, and spiritually. They are incurring gross debts by living in a manner that is not within their means eventually leading to a total “market crash”…I believe that is called a depression.
Today, pause and reflect for a moment as to how your life account stands. Are you pleased with the yield and do you feel safe with the investments that you have made in yourself? Or, do you have to tweak it a little? Decrease your needs… increase your self-sufficiency? Perhaps you need a financial planner (AKA a true friend) who will not be afraid to help you balance your life account.
Here’s to you finding the most return for your life.
Some might think that Valentine’s Day is just an excuse for the over-commercialization of chocolate, roses, and jewelry (BTW you might not be too wrong). But what if we turn Valentine’s Day into something really special, what if we all decide to become Cupids?
Yes, what if we become the messengers of love? What if this coming Friday, February 14, we make it our intention to live in love, and share it with others?
So, what does that look like? You are Cupid.
Well, let’s see maybe your morning meditation would be to reflect on the great loves in your life, past, and present. Living in gratitude for having those loves. Then, practice a bit of self-love…stretch, feel what it is like to be in your body. Breathe, fill your lungs with life energy and as you do so make your mantra for the day: I will live in love today. My thoughts, words, and actions will arise through love, only through love.
Wear pink. (It’s more fun than red.)
As you approach your day, make sure that you make everyone feel special, say something nice, pay compliments, and perhaps make a special call to someone just to say you are thinking about them, how about paying extra attention to the people who make your life better each and every day…give them an extra “I really appreciate everything you do.” Then, make your colleagues feel special, and tell them what you think their superpower is. Treat yourself at lunch. Maybe treat someone to lunch. Kill it at work.
Time to end your day. Hug those very special people around you. Kiss your sweetie. Have a pink cocktail or mocktail. Have a fun dinner…don’t overthink it.
Then as you begin to unwind, reflect on your day. You completed your day as Cupid and you didn’t spend a dime. Think about the joy you gave, then think about how you feel, how it makes you feel to act from a place of love. Maybe we could make it Valentine’s Day every day?
“Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.” - William Arthur Ward
When was the last time you sat down, pen to paper, and wrote a thank you note? Not a thank you note for a gift, but for something intangible - a note that expresses gratitude for how someone has enhanced your life for the better?
So many of us are guilty of going through life quietly grateful for the things that people do for us, but we don’t always express it well. Would we appreciate these little things more if we were to sit down and write about them? If we were asked to view these moments of gratitude in the larger context of our lives? If we were asked to truly explain to that person why we are grateful for them, and what they do? Would that then give those little acts of kindness, support, love, whatever it might be, the gravitas that it deserves?
We want to challenge our tribe of BuDhaGirls to write a “gratitude note” this week to someone who influences your life in a subtle, yet powerful way. Write a thank you to that friend who always checks in to say “hi”. Write a thank you to the coworker who makes you laugh. Write a thank you to your spouse for going out of their way to help you. Write a thank you to your child for teaching you something.
By expressing our gratitude in a clear, meaningful, and direct way, perhaps we can infuse our family, our group of friends, our offices, or our communities with a little more love, respect, and appreciation. Will you join us?
“Believe there is a great power silently working all things for good, behave yourself and never mind the rest.” - Beatrix Potter
Have you ever felt as though you weren’t in control of a situation? No matter how hard you try or how much effort you put forth, you feel as though you are swimming against the stream? Think about the moments in your life when this has been the case. When you’re put in this quandary, how do you react? Do you fight it, or do you let it flow? What are the results?
We love this sweet and simple quote by Beatrix Potter because it’s the perfect tidbit of advice for facing such adversity. Sometimes, instead of trying to overpower and control a situation, to demand that it go our way, we should sit back, relax and trust the outcome.
The truth is, when we allow life to flow, when we trust this “great power,” things happen just as they should. We meet certain people, we have certain experiences, we learn certain things, and it can lead us to a place that’s even more wonderful than what we initially envisioned for ourselves. All we have, as Beatrix Potter suggests, is power over ourselves. We have the power to behave ourselves and to manage our reactions to what occurs, but the rest - whether we like it or not - is out of our hands and beyond our control.
Today, before you set your intentions, ask yourself if such a lack of control in the greater scheme of life is comforting or stressful to you. What intentions can you set to remind you to sit back, relax, and trust?
“Almost universally faith has been derived from religion. Through the rituals of prayer, believers ask for the gift of hope, the gift of love, and the gift of healing. They do this as an offering to a being that has the ability they don’t have – the power of change. Without really thinking that the power of change is inherently always in us.”
It is a privilege to try to expand on one’s own quote or idea. So here it goes…
Faith is a powerful force, it might just be the most powerful force we know because it does one thing: it encourages choice and choice instigates change. Faith also has a fraternal twin (not identical) and she is called Hope.
Humans have the spark of being conscious which is different than being sentient. I believe that all “living” things are sentient, they feel. Consciousness however is a trait that seeks. Through consciousness, humans seek to understand their world, the universe, their fate, and the meaning of their life and because this true understanding is so elusive, we are driven to faith.
Through our faith we try to explain life and even for those who say they are atheists, faith becomes hope. Our faith and hope in life form our values. These values can create and inspire us to be and become amazing beings. However, as we have seen, these values can also be destroyed, as then, it seems that co-existing with different faiths is almost too much for us to handle.
Our values based on our faith and hopes form who we are and rule our actions. Our actions cause reaction thus causing change. So, I ask you, are you in charge of your actions? Are your actions based on your values? Are your values based on your faith?
Knock, knock!
"Opportunities are often things you haven't noticed the first time around." - Catherine Deneuve
There are two types of opportunities in this world: ones that are directly handed to you, and ones that you are responsible for recognizing and pursuing. Are these opportunities equally shared among us? If you think they are not, is it age, background, or circumstance that divides us? In my experience, these factors are secondary. If you want to be open to both types of opportunity, there is only one thing you must do, which is available to anyone, at any time, anywhere: BE PRESENT.
Being present is a challenge, it's something we all must actively practice. But with consistent presence, you'll be living in the moment, and therefore allowing yourself to see opportunities big and small. Think about it - which opportunities in your life stand out to you? When did they happen? How did they happen? Why did they happen?
Let's say you're in the elevator. You're stressed about an upcoming meeting, and you're living in the future, not the present. Unless you're fully engaged with your surroundings right now, you'll miss the opportunity directly in front of you: a person who works in your building. You'll miss the opportunity to say hello, to introduce yourself, to hand them your business card. Could this person be a future client? A future friend? You'll never know if you don't live in the now and seize this moment.
Another fact about opportunities? One opportunity leads to other opportunities. An opportunity you recognize and chase (saying hello to someone you don't know), could lead to an opportunity that is handed to you (that same person offering you your dream job).
So what opportunities might be hiding right under your nose that you haven't yet noticed? Tomorrow, take the opportunity to use your All Weather Bangles to send an intention to be present. We think you'll be pleased with where that simple shift in mindset can lead you.
www.budhagirl.com
Painting by Kelly Reemtsen
“You can’t depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.” Mark Twain
We see the world filtered through our beliefs about everything. Another way to say it is: What we bring to the table has everything to do with what we garner from it. Or another way: "When an ass peers into a mirror, you can't expect an apostle to look back out." (That's an ass, as in hoofed mammal, but take it any way you like.) The more you're open to unfamiliar sights, smells, sounds, and ideas (about painting? politics? religion? race? sexuality? you name it), the richer you will be, and the abler to respond to life's roller coaster ride.
People (we) hold onto things that are based solely on perception, without any clue of reality...and they (we) do not use imagination to help themselves (ourselves) out of the rut.
Try shattering your POV one day, it feels like you are falling off a cliff…then, all of a sudden you realize you are still in one piece.
www.budhagirl.com
Norman Parkinson, British Vogue, November 1956.
"The only thing I regret about my past is the length of it. If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner." - Talulah Bankhead
At some point in our lives, we come to the simple realization that no matter how diligent, thoughtful, or hardworking we are, only one thing is for certain: mistakes. are. inevitable.
Mistakes happen everywhere and to everyone. Maybe your latest faux pas was small, maybe it was big. Maybe you laughed off the mistake with a friend, or maybe it's too embarrassing to even speak aloud. Either way, thinking back on a mistake can often trigger a cringe or a full-on panic. But why are we so adverse to the occasional unintentional mistake? Why do we put off mistakes, why aren't we brave enough to make mistakes sooner?
When we were young, many of us came to connect mistakes to the proverbial slap on the wrist. That being said, what if we took away this negative connotation, and evaluated mistakes for their positive potential instead? After all, we can't control the mistake and keep it from happening, but we can control how we react to our mistakes and that of others.
So next time a mistake happens, embrace it. Forgive yourself, forgive others. Acknowledge it, take note, then let it go. Mistakes are a catalyst of change, a chance to expand. And above all, remember that mistakes in any situation are just a lesson, and life would be quite dull if we were to say to "no" to learning something new.
www.budhagirl.com
“A fanatic is one who can’t change his mind and won’t change the subject.” Winston Churchill
How I wish I could run this quote every hour of the day on social media… Because somehow society has adopted the self-centered, righteous bore! ICK.
We've all been guilty, at one time or another, of obsessing over something. Your boss is an idiot, why just today he/she .... Your yoga teacher got sick and YOU showed up for class! Life is complicated and demanding and well, sometimes it just GETS to you and you need to vent. Remember that guy who had the misfortune to sit next to you on that trans-Atlantic airplane flight? He was a captive audience, and you knew you could chat to your heart's content about corporate malfeasance, politics, religion, and your ex…. and not have to worry about ever running into the poor fellow again.
We sit amazed by those who rant and rave over things that are important to them, without ever considering that at times we might just be doing the same. And as I often quote: “People can’t wait to tell you about their religion, but they do not want to hear about yours.”
Just saying…
When I was just a little girl…I asked my mother what will I be? Will I be pretty? Will I be rich? Here’s what she said to me: Que sera, sera…whatever will be will be…the future is not ours to see…Que sera, sera.
This beautiful Doris Day song is full of wisdom and truth. The future is not ours to see, not even (nowadays) if you are Google X.
The future does not really exist except as a concept in our mind…yes, we can be pretty certain the sun will rise in the East tomorrow, and that we can switch on our iProducts and be connected, and that we will somehow manage to work, exercise, eat, sleep and go through our next day pretty much how we went through this day, unless…
We decide not to.
And that my friends, is what 2025 is all about.
Personally I have made up my mind to shake things up a bit. Even this morning when I told my husband I was going to really live it up this year he said: “You know, 99% of people are saying the opposite, they are starting the year off with resolutions and restraints.”
Not me. I am going to live it up. I am going to seek adventure. I am going to work hard and rest harder. I am going to give myself time, time for me to reflect and enjoy. I am going to say no (and not feel guilty). I am going to read tons of books. I am going to dig deeper into things. I am going to take care of myself.
If this sounds selfish, it is. Without me (or you) as a matter of fact nothing is really important. Just magnify the truth of this statement times the nearly 7 billion souls on this planet and we arrive at the conclusion that each and every one of us is important.
The future is not ours to see yet our consciousness can imagine what we want our future to look like, and that vision can come true through being present now. Only in the now can we truly make things happen. Only in the now can we set foundations, and only in the now can we simply BE.
Enjoy 2025… and remember: Que sera, sera.
Hugs,
Jessica
A ritual is a ceremony. There’s a prescribed order in a ritual - it must be done a certain way. But are rituals purely religious? Must they be done in a set place of worship? Does a group of people have to share the same ritual in order for it to be powerful? Here at BuDhaGirl, we believe that rituals can come in all shapes and forms. Something small and personal, such as making coffee, can become a sacred ritual with time and consistent practice.
So how does something mundane become sacred? It’s all about creating the right mindset and being present as you perform the said ritual. Some of our most sacred daily rituals include…
Getting Dressed - Selecting an outfit and adding All Weather Bangles is the perfect time to set intentions for the day.
Walking the Dog - Take in the fresh air and go where the walk takes you. No expectations. No place to be. Live in the now.
Driving the Car - Getting into the car, starting the car, driving the car… all points along the way are reminders for you to express gratitude for the gifts you’ve been given in life - the car is just one of them.
Taking the Stairs - When you take the stairs, you carve out a space in your day for self-reflection. With these few extra moments alone, you can take the time to center yourself.
Cooking Dinner - At the end of the day, cooking dinner is a ritual that ignites the senses and asks you to live in the present. Put the phone down and devote yourself to cooking, a ritual where you’re giving back to your own body and those you love.
What are the simple rituals you perform each day?
In thinking about this topic I decided that I needed a helping hand or two.
I believe that this is precisely why we are here, why we exist…to give. And, if this is indeed our purpose, as a good BuDhaGirl, I believe we must give with entirety of thought, of heart, of purpose, and of spirit.
Now I will let my besties describe their views on giving, and they do so artfully:
“It's not how much we give but how much love we put into giving.” M.T.
“We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give.” W.C
“Presents are made for the pleasure of who gives them, not the merits of who receives them.” C.R.Z.
“Always give without remembering and always receive without forgetting.” B.T.
“If you want to ask one question, ask yourself, what are you giving to the universe and only that will be returned.” A.R.
Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers. G.B.
This holiday season give yourself the gift of giving. Reflect on this idea and let it color your actions. Make yourself aware of the joy you receive by giving. Cherish this joy.
Jessica Jesse shares her thoughts on "Where Am I Me?" There are different versions of ourselves that do not allow us to be truly present, love ourselves and these versions bring us unhappiness and suffering.
The Buddha tells us to live in the moment. But we worry too much about what is ahead. We continuously place ourselves ahead of the game. This is necessary to do to some degree in order to plan ahead and mitigate risks of course, but there is a balance. The 'now' is fleeting and will not come back. Enjoy it while you are in it not when it becomes a distant memory of the past.
How we think manifests itself in our bodies, and while most of us 'visit the future' regularly, we can end up looking like turtles with our heads stretched forward, already mentally inhabiting the next place we're headed long before we have arrived. We derive a kind of happiness from the anticipation, but strangely, when we are actually in the situation or place we've mentally prepared for, we aren't present in the moment, because we've trained ourselves to look for happiness in the 'next' moment, not in the present one. Contentment is when we realize that this moment, this 'now', contains all the beauty and mystery of any other moment in time.
“The mind is not a vessel to be filled, but a fire to be kindled.” - Plutarch
This introspective quote by Plutarch makes me want to translate it into modern terms.
I like to say that most people don’t care so much about data, they would rather hear a story. It sparks their interest. It warms their heart. It keeps them engaged.
Although some will contend that data tends to be based in fact, these facts, unless they are dire, don’t really motivate us to modify our opinion or behavior. But when we hear a story that is relatable… a story that triggers empathy in us… one that we can follow from beginning to end… then, and only then, we are more likely to be called to action. Stories light the proverbial fire within us.
A perfect example of this is BuDhaGirl. Many times, I begin to tell people about the science behind BuDhaGirl. There are not only hard numbers to analyze, but also scientific studies to read that validate how moments of focused meditation and intention setting do amazing things to the brain. Countless studies show how short brain breaks during the day can directly influence the neuroplasticity of our brain. In other words, meditation and brain breaks can actually keep our brains pliable and youthful as we age. People listen and are interested in these facts, but the moment I tell the story about rituals and bangles, the concept of BuDhaGirl becomes lit from within. The background story and the client testimonials are the keys to creating that emotional connection that makes BuDhaGirl a valuable, impassioned concept.
BuDhaGirl strives to kindle the innate fire in you.
I often use an exercise using evocative language to help increase the awareness of our senses. As in the topic of our blog today: What is the difference between hearing versus listening?
Listening vs. hearing is like comparing the Pacific Ocean to Lake Texoma. You can’t.
Listening is choosing to be present. Whether we are in nature and we allow its sounds to embrace us; or by ourselves, listening to our inner voice until we are able to quiet our mind; and of course, when we listen to others. In each of these instances, what makes the leap from hearing to listening, is one very important thing: caring.
Caring enough about what is being said, about what is being sung, at the wind through the trees, and the playful chime of a trickling brook. Caring about what we are listening to, allows us to connect with our environment and with others, while hopefully and very importantly, making an inner connection with ourselves. Listening takes effort on our part to pay attention to what is taking place at that particular moment. It is choosing to be present and respectful. Listening is not random; it is a choice.
By listening we understand better. We become wiser because we increase our learning capacity. Listening allows our brain to make deeper connections providing us with an augmented ability for decision making.
Above all, being a good listener is one, if not the most sought-after quality, in any relationship.
“A goal without a plan is just a wish.” - *Antoine de Saint-Expeiry*
Leave it to the Little Prince to express such a powerfully true statement.
Our daily inner lives (thoughts) (conversations) are full of wishes…we are full of possibilities. These possibilities however are very much a struggle between good and not-so-good (bad).
If we are able to quiet our thoughts and conversations, can we discern what we truly wish for?
And once we identify our wish, can we understand that at first a wish is something like hope? You hope that X will take place. But what if we now come to understand that hope is something outside of ourselves, and that if we want our wish to come true, we need a plan.
A plan, a road map, a guide, and some motivating fuel.
Many people have an overdeveloped wishing muscle, expecting that if the universe wants them to accomplish their goal, a path will be laid out for them and all the accouterments for the journey provided. Wrong. The universe will give you opportunities, but you must be open to seize them, and you must execute actions each and every day to obtain your goal.
So…take a moment to map it out, step by step, and do a happy dance at each completed step.
“There are two ways to get enough: One is to continue to accumulate more and more. The other is to desire less.” - *G.K. Chesterton*
When I first read this quote, I froze. It explained so much, it instantly showed me one of the areas that at least for me, had always been a problem. Acquisition. It is as if acquiring things made you happier and somehow better.
When I looked around at my abundance…my health, my thoughts, and even my monetary status…I asked myself what else do I need? I all of a sudden stopped, I was complete. I had enough.
But then the question was…what am I going to do with my abundance? Share it.
“Enough” at the beginning of the day is having one more day in life, and at the end of each day, “Enough” is having led a day with grace, gratitude, and accomplishment using my three wealths: health, wisdom, and financial.
But most importantly…” Enough'“ is having my children safe and happy, my husband still in love with me, and having the privilege of my freedom.
“To each man’s ages the Lord gives it own anxieties.” Paulo Coehlo
As children, many of us wrestled with daily anxieties. Fear of the dark. Monsters under the bed. Losing mom in the grocery store. We longed to be older - at an age where we were confident and less fearful.
Then we aged a little. Fear of the dark evolved into anxiety about SAT scores and learning to drive. Once again, we longed to be older - at an age where we were accomplished and less fearful.
Time goes on and we age even more. We take a job. We buy a house. We have a kid. A few kids. The anxieties don’t disappear, in fact, they get a little sharper. After all, there’s more at stake. We somehow think that with age things will be easier. Not so. Each day is completely new. Sure, certain fears have evaporated, but they have been replaced with others. Scary, right?
The good news is that with age comes perspective. While we are encumbered by very real fears and anxieties as we get older, we also build our experiences and sense of awareness. Unlike our younger selves, we now have memories of all of the things we were able to accomplish and withstand even in the face of fear. Having this in mind, we can look our anxiety in the face and know that this, too, shall pass. We know that one day, this anxiety we wrestle with will fade into a memory as we move on to deal with other challenges.
Our advice? Treat your fear or anxiety as a gift. It’s there to protect you, but also to help you grow. Only once you surpass it can you progress to the next summit of your journey.
There is no need to spend time or money when it is within our own selves to simply decide that we want beauty in our life…simply begin by breathing.
There are a few for whom the pursuit of making money is a passion…the way that a baker bakes incredible bread, a gardener harvests beautiful plants, a painter creates a masterpiece. These folks who hold a passion for finances will be very happy to make money while working at making money.
However, for most of us, money is a by-product of our work. If we love what we do and are diligent in perfecting our craft on a daily basis (even when sometimes we really want to take a break) there is a very good chance that eventually we will feel successful. And look at it this way, even if you do not end up rolling in money, you are doing something you love.
The tragedy is the inverse of this: doing something you hate for money. Ouch.
That is the one lesson I tell both of my children time and time again. Please, please choose a line of work that you love. Work that will inspire you and make you better every day and work that will make a difference to you and those around you and maybe the world itself. I also tell them that diligence in work is what brings about rewards, and that reward absolutely can also be financial compensation.
I often remember my very first paycheck. I couldn’t believe it…I was being paid to do something I loved. Throughout my career and really throughout any of my business ventures, I have tried to always find that passion, that feeling of: I deserve this, I have earned this.
I like financial rewards. I want to make sure that I have earned them so I may enjoy them and value them.
Are you one who can sit back and analyze a situation by reading the signs? Sometimes these signs are not tangibly or physically observed or manifested, but you (the inner you) can see past what is observable.
Call it instinct. Call it intuition. Call it your third eye. Call it what you will, but you just know what’s going to happen. Many times, we ignore these signs because we want to be pragmatic, and scientific, we want proof and data. This willful avoidance of what is plainly evident to “us”, even though we can’t immediately prove it, causes us great angst. It messes with our psyche, and oftentimes, to our detriment, we regret not following our gut feeling.
When either my team, a friend, or my family are in a quandary, because they are bothered by signs, I reply by saying: “If it looks like a skunk, smells like a skunk, and acts like a skunk…guess what? It is a skunk.” Read the signs.
“A problem well stated is a problem half solved.” *Charles F. Kettering*
I’ve come to realize that when needing to successfully accomplish something, we must first learn its language. We must learn how to precisely state what we need, and what the issue at hand is, and be acutely aware of how our filter will then forward that information so it can, in turn, be processed correctly, thus achieving our goal. This clarity in communication is more important than any master’s degree…and you don’t need a master’s degree to be a great communicator.
Let me give you an example: technology. Baby boomers did not grow up with what today is normal to new generations; the ability to instantly communicate through various platforms.
Each modern communication platform has its own language, its rules, and its nuances. Having said this, even with this incredible technological advancement, the lack of ability to state what people need to solve their issues, and problems, create better processes, and advance as a society is a major obstacle. Faster doesn’t mean better. A one-word response does not make an answer.
Many times, I find myself stopping a conversation and simply asking: What are you trying to say? Or at times I ask: What are we trying to accomplish or arrive at? When this happens, people often stop, take a minute to re-assess what it is they want (or want to communicate), and then continue on a more precise path. As you probably know my friends, there is nothing worse than when someone tells you they didn’t understand because they didn’t understand you….ughhh!
“A fanatic is one who can’t change his mind and won’t change the subject.” -*Winston Churchill*
How I wish I could run this quote every hour on the hour on cable news shows and social media during 2024…Today’s society has become intolerant, one-note (as in my note or no one else’s), self-centered, and devoid of factual reasoning.
At one time or another, we've all been guilty of obsessing over something that perhaps mattered only to us. Your boss is an idiot, why just today he/she ... Your yoga teacher got sick and YOU showed up for the class! Whole Foods was out of your favorite juice… Life is complicated and demanding and well, sometimes it just GETS to you and you need to vent. Today though, that venting is better done alone and at home. Please don’t complain about everything to everyone and don’t post it on social media…save that energy for the really meaningful things.
We sit amazed by those who rant and rave over things that are important to them, without ever considering that at times we might just be doing the same. Stop a moment to reflect on this, lately I have had to really hold back. And as I often quote: “People can’t wait to tell you about their religion, but they sure do not want to hear about yours.”
Another thought we might consider is why we have two ears and only one mouth.
Just saying…
“Opportunities are often things that you haven’t noticed the first time around.” -*Catherine Deneuve*
Opportunity. Whether or not we realize it, opportunities surround us every day. Opportunities come in all shapes and sizes. There are opportunities we create and opportunities that fall into our laps. The ones that we choose to take (or not take), not only define us but shape our existence. Sometimes we completely miss an opportunity. It either slips right through our fingers, or we actively choose not to take it. Why does this happen? How does it happen?
Opportunity comes down to one thing: being present. When we don’t see something as an opportunity, it’s because we are not present and open to possibility. When you’re present, you’re able to see what opportunities are standing right in front of you. Being truly present in our lives will bring things into focus that are full of exploration and wonder. The most amazing thing is that these things are always there. It exists alongside us every moment of the day. It is up to us to be aware of this layer of life so that we can take full advantage of it.
Going back to Catherine Deneuve’s statement, what happens when we miss these opportunities the first time around? Is it just because we are not being present? Sometimes it’s simply because we are not ready for the opportunity, we don’t want to acknowledge it there waiting for us. In these situations, it’s about trusting something bigger than ourselves and knowing that there is a world beyond our comfort zones.
In every situation in life, there is a recurring opportunity: play it safe, or escape the comfort zone. While it is our first instinct to stay where we feel safe, it’s up to us to be committed to accepting the new and the uncomfortable. When we are willing- willing to be present, willing to be uncomfortable, willing to change- we will see there are opportunities all around.
With that being said, are you willing to venture out and see what’s on the other side of your comfort zone? That’s where some incredible opportunities are waiting for you.
Most of us tend to ask the “why me?” question when faced with an unfortunate occurrence, and seldom when we hit the jackpot. We are blind to the unpredictable.
Nassim Taleb’s, fabulous book The Black Swan, The Impact of the Highly Improbable is a great read when you want to understand somewhat the nature of unpredictability and even surprising events.
Mr. Taleb rightly points out that we, “society” are obsessed with facts and try to predict outcomes based on these data-driven facts. We must understand that all of the fact-seeking and number-crunching sometimes do not prepare us for unpredictable events that happen, good or bad.
The great lesson in a Black Swan moment is one of resilience. Do you have what it takes to bounce back? Can you be creative and get yourself out of the pickle? Are you enlightened enough to be grateful for the experience because you know it made you better, stronger, wiser, and more charming?
Read anything about the greats: Michelangelo, Newton, Einstein, Curie, Jobs, and so many others and you’ll find out that the single most important quality that these men and women shared was patience. Benjamin Franklin put it best when he said: “Genius is nothing but a greater aptitude for patience.”
Patience is difficult. Patience takes discipline. Patience takes self-knowledge. Patience takes the ability to wait without losing sight of what we set ourselves to do. Patience taxes and questions who we are. Patience might make us seem weak. And, although patience might innately be a stronger quality in some than others, true patience is learned through experience.
Time, the key component of patience is what we must master. Time is also a tricky concept, even asking whether or not our idea of time is real or is only real the way we have come to know it? Patience is finely honed by time. The more time it takes us to do something the more we savor its accomplishment.
Today we rush through life. We have become impatient, we hate to wait, we must have our rewards now, and we are put out by any inconvenience that should disturb our sense of entitlement. Sad but true.
Think of patience as one of your daily intentions. Catch yourself when you are becoming impatient, how are you feeling? What is your impatience being fueled by? Is whatever making you impatient worth the journey there? These simple questions can bring you back from the brink, of that hole of despair caused by time.
Make patience your friend. That quirky friend who can sometimes be hard to handle but that makes your life so much richer.
Here’s to our new BFF: Patience.
Photo by Norman Parkinson in India
"It is not the events that affect us, but the attitude that we assume toward those events." Epictetus
This is an ancient Greek version of The Affirmation Prayer. Dear powers of the universe, please grant me the grace to accept what's out of reach, the chutzpah to change what I can get my hands on, and the savvy to know the difference .... Plenty of stuff out there that neither you nor I have the wherewithal to alter, which is probably all for the best. Imagine if everyone got a turn manipulating the world to their own devices. Yikes!
I am always impressed by people who know how to make the best of it, and I want to learn from them. I want to understand how to be more patient, yet not necessarily less demanding. So after many years of trying to be mindful about my attitude towards things, I realize that it is all about how I decide to enter, be, and leave the situation…so here’s a quick ritual.
First order of business: Take a deep breath. This is a truly egalitarian prescription, one size fits all. Breathe. Again. Perhaps things aren't as bad as they appear to be. And if they are, having your wits about you and a steady heart will assist as a guide.
Attitude is everything…it is what we become… because of it.
www.budhagirl.com
Caring, Compassion, and Commitment. Not much can go wrong with this combination, especially when it comes to relationships.
Caring, for me, is numero uno, even beyond love. Not much has happened in my life without me caring about it. Caring comes from a place of love and the heart, but most importantly, it is also imbued by the mind, making caring actionable. When we know, we acknowledge that something or someone makes us care and makes us act upon that caring, and we simply become better.
Compassion needs caring; one does not exist without the other. Even if it is mere awareness of someone else’s plight that makes us reflect and take action, that’s when our gift of being human really kicks in. We feel we are sentient to other’s lives, and hopefully, we choose to help them on their journey.
Commitment is the third ingredient. Once we have identified in our hearts and in our minds that we care and that we have compassion, then our actions may make a difference through our commitment. Are we able to produce a change in ourselves and in others through our commitment, now and over time? Commitment takes effort and persistence, and it constantly checks our values.
Always keep the three “Cs” close to you, every day, all day.
There are a few for whom the pursuit of making money is a passion… the way a baker makes incredible bread, a gardener harvests beautiful plants, a painter creates a masterpiece. These folks who hold that passion for finances will be very happy to make money while working at making money.
However, for most of us, money is a by-product of our work. If we love what we do and are diligent in perfecting our craft on a daily basis (even when sometimes we really want to take a break), there is a very good chance that we will eventually feel successful. Look at it this way: even if you do not end up rolling in money, you are doing something you love.
The tragedy is the inverse of this: doing something you hate for money. Ouch.
That is the one lesson I tell both of my children time and time again. Please, please choose a line of work that you love. Work that will inspire you and make you better every day and work that will make a difference to you and those around you and maybe the world itself. I also tell them that diligence in work is what brings about rewards and that reward absolutely can also be financial compensation.
I often remember my very first paycheck. I couldn’t believe it…I was being paid to do something I loved. Throughout my career and really throughout any of my business ventures, I have tried to always find that passion, that feeling of: I deserve this, I have earned this.
I like financial rewards. I want to make sure that I have earned them so I may enjoy and value them.
www.budhagirl.com
Mindfulness. Presence. Being. How can these precious things be attained? There are 9 tips that you can practice every day to be more present.
- Be appreciative: To appreciate something, you must be present.
- Let go of worry: Why worry about the future when you don’t yet have the power to change it?
- Don’t dwell on the past: Ruminating on the past will keep you from appreciating the present moment.
- Practice rituals: Yoga, meditation, intention setting - commit to your rituals, whatever they may be, and you’ll see a direct correlation to your mindfulness and presence.
- Forgive: Just another step to letting go of the past.
- Be optimistic: Smile! Do a good deed! See the glass half-full! If all you have is this amount, make it the best one it can be.
- Practice minimalism: Let go of the excess to truly appreciate what you have.
- Listen: Listening to yourself and others is one of the greatest forms of being mindful and exercising complete presence.
- Focus on your breath: When you’ve lost your way, return to your breath, and you’ll return to yourself.
“To succeed at life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone, and a funny bone.” - Reba McEntire.
The only thing that is constant in life is change. Whether you’re moving, people are leaving, people are coming, job titles are transforming…change is inevitable. Life is all about an ebb and flow. Sometimes, there’s an influx of good; other times, there’s an influx of good; and other times, there’s an influx of not-so-good. It’s easy to enjoy the good parts of life - a new house, the birth of a baby, a raise - but not always easy to find the good in the hard times of life. It would be silly to hope for a life devoid of bad times. After all, when we emerge from these bad times, we are smarter, more resilient, and more grateful. So, how can one get through hard times as easily as possible? Just as Reba herself said…you’ll need a wishbone, a backbone, and a funny bone.
This trio could mean many things, but to us, a wishbone is for hope, a backbone is for strength, and a funny bone is for humor. In hard times, you’ll need all three. Depending on the situation, the order or the degree to which you need one might shift and change. Your priority for each might vary, and that’s okay as long as you have all three in some form.
Hope, strength, and humor are powerful intentions to set in the morning, whether you expect an easy or difficult day. Optimism and hope are like a magnet that will pull good things to you. Being resolute and strong is essential to self-respect. And last but not least, never forget a sense of humor. When times are good, it’s important to enjoy - to laugh with friends and to have a smile on your face. And when the bad times inevitably roll around, a sense of humor is even more important. When you can find a sense of lightheartedness in a dark moment, you remind yourself of your innate ability to withstand any situation. Knowing you have the tools to withstand and transform any difficult moment…what’s more important than that?
Have you ever been invited to a home that did not have much financial foundation, but felt amazingly warm and comfortable with no sense of lacking?
This has happened many times in my life where I have been fortunate to be in the presence of people who live very well with very little. Everything in these homes has a sense of being, of purpose, not much is superfluous because it simply can’t be.
I think back at meals I have enjoyed that cost nothing but were extraordinarily memorable. Many times these meals begin with an olfactory overload, when scents beckon you to pay attention and then you settle down to mindfully eat a meal prepared with total attention to detail.
Farmer’s markets are some of my favorite places to shop. I love the fact that people are selling things they have grown, baked, sewn, and collected. Honey is probably my most favorite thing to buy because every market offers the honey of that particular region. Honey is so perfectly simple.
And of course, the greatest gift that is so valuable, yet has no monetary value whatsoever is the gift of oneself. When we take a moment to be truly present for someone it is a treasure; a treasure of connection saying without words that you are there for them. In the end, these connections are gifts to yourself, they cost you nothing just a bit of your time.
And this my friend goes a long way…
www.budhagirl.com
Here’s a question for you…do you do good things when no one is watching?
Imagine this: you’re walking down the street alone and you see a piece of trash. The trash isn’t yours and there’s no trash can around, but do you pick it up?
If the answer is yes, why? What is your motivation? Can you recognize whether you are making a conscious or unconscious decision to pick it up? Is picking up the trash benefitting you in some way or not?
For many of us, the answer is “yes” because this “good” deed is simply a habit. We are taught from a young age to do things like throw away garbage, so when this action is not completed, something inside us feels off. As we all know, breaking a habit is hard to do.
Our habits of goodness are on display every day all day long - it’s a reflection of our integrity, our character, and our manners. Holding open the door for someone, saying good morning to coworkers, smiling at a stranger - all are habits of goodness. But let us challenge you to something new…
We invite you to be more engaged in each of these habits and turn your habits of goodness into rituals of goodness. By engaging your five senses and being completely present during your habits, you can convert a mindless action into a mindful one that will not only bring joy to others but to you as well.
“A single event can awaken within us a stranger totally unknown to us.” - Antoine de Saint-Exupery
Every one of us has an idea of ourselves. We think we’re outgoing, creative, sensitive, intelligent, opinionated, demanding, happy, helpful, aloof. Sometimes these qualities are positive, sometimes they’re negative. We all have a certain roster of people, places, things, and memories that matter more to us than others. We lead our day-to-day life functioning within the parameters of how we see ourselves, how we see others, and how others see us.
Then, one day, something occurs. Sometimes it’s huge, sometimes it’s small. All of a sudden, everything changes. Life isn’t what it used to be. In this moment, whether it’s amazing or terrible, you know deep in your bones that nothing will ever be the same. These moments are different for everyone, and they reverberate inside long after they’ve happened. Whether it’s a child being born, a friend dying before his time, fame appearing, or money disappearing – it’s impactful. It shakes us to our core so deep, that our identity changes.
In moments or in months, our priorities shift. We become strangers to ourselves. We forget who we were and what we even wanted before this point in time. Yes, these jilting moments awaken a stranger within us, but they also cause us to question the flip side – who is that stranger I used to be now that I’ve changed? Why did that thing matter to me? Why didn’t that other thing matter to me? What was I doing? Who was I then? Who am I now? One of the most interesting layers to contemplate is that this new “stranger” who we feel we are now, was always there, hidden… somewhere.
These moments incite an intense self-reflection, one that takes a while to reckon with. Perhaps if we’re lucky, it’s a self-reflection that never ends. Imagine: what if we greeted ourselves every day as a stranger? Would this be beneficial? Detrimental? Would it encourage us to live in the present, recognizing ourselves as a constantly morphing being?
When was the last time a single event shook you to your core? How did it change you? Do you braid your past selves and current selves together, or do they exist separately from each other?
The women who inspire us here at BuDhaGirl are chefs, writers, humanitarians, athletes, moms, and agents of change. Today we're sharing some of our favorite words of wisdom from these timeless icons. P.S. Don’t you think these ladies would look fabulous in stacks of All Weather Bangles? Anyone else you’d like to see dressed up in AWB? Tell us in the comments below!
“Passion is energy. Feel the power that comes from focusing on what excites you.”
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Oprah Winfrey
“People always comment about my clothes. They don’t think a fashionable woman can love food and be knowledgeable and actually cook.”
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Padma Lakshmi
“It’s more instructive to learn what you don’t like than just to like everything.”
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Eva Chen
“You have to believe in yourself when no one else does.”
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Serena Williams
“Everyone of us needs to show how much we care for each other and, in the process, care for ourselves.”
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Princess Diana
“I discovered that joy is not the negation of pain, but rather acknowledging the presence of pain and feeling happiness in spite of it.”
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Lupita Nyong’o
“I’m just a normal mother with the same struggles as any other mother who’s trying to do everything at once and trying to be a wife and maintain a relationship. There’s absolutely nothing perfect about my life, but I just try hard.”
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Gwyneth Paltrow
“If you don’t get out there and define yourself, you’ll be quickly and inaccurately defined by others.”
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Michelle Obama
“BUY LESS, CHOOSE WELL.” *Vivienne Westwood*
Sometimes themes manifest themselves as a “movement of sorts” in people’s psyche. This new awareness more often than not, causes change because the psyche then decides to make these changes tangible: movements.
In this particular case, I am talking about our values for/of consumption. Honestly, I think the pendulum has been swinging too much in the wrong direction for too long…and it has maxed out. (Please Lord, may it have maxed out.)
We can no longer consume without consciousness. Consuming takes on many forms; environmental and informational are easy to see and to see their effects…but what about self-consumption? Are we really here to take, take, take and when we are no longer here…we take nothing? Scary.
Look, I am the first to say that living well is an art and that “we,” the collective “we” need to learn how to live in wellness. This wellness is learning to satiate our taste for consumption. Think of consumption as a muscle, give it a break already…why not develop another muscle like that of learning, helping, being, and mastering something you are passionate about instead of master-carding?
My point is simple. Take a moment to see what you need. Then take a moment to ask yourself do you need more. Then…let your values, your core, tell you what is right. Only our values will be able to make that pendulum swing back to the middle because folks, you don’t want to see the pendulum swing the other way: scarcity.
Frida Kahlo
Whether you consider yourself an “artist” or otherwise, everyone can benefit from a space designated for creativity. When thinking of a “creative space,” it’s easy to envision a studio in which a painter is conceptualizing and carrying out her creative vision. But while this is the common narrative of “studio space,” it is just as important, and perhaps more important for the self-declared “non-artists” to make a space for themselves to pursue creative endeavors, too. After all, a consistent, creative outlet is essential to overall well-being.
While some might argue otherwise, none of us are more creatively adept than the others. Some are just more willing to express it. So what divides the population between the creatives and the non-creatives? It could be about boldness or confidence, but it could also be about safety. In your day-to-day life, do you feel safe to express your innate creativity (in any form)? If the answer is no, a designated creative space might just be the solution for you to develop your creative life.
Pablo Picasso
In your creative space, you get to set the rules. This space doesn’t have to be for anyone but you. The results of your creative endeavors don’t have to please (or even be seen by) anyone else. In this space, you can try traditional creative arts, or even experiment with cooking, flower arrangement, and interior design - if you can name it, you can do it!
So how do you make your creative space perfectly tailored to you? Figure out what inspires you and go from there. Does a stark white, minimal space pique your creativity, or do you gravitate toward a room filled with inspiring visuals? If that’s the case, are there certain paintings that you love? Magazine editorials that give you chills? Powerful quotes that resonate? Using these elements, make a vision board and use it to anchor your creative space. In a space with no rules and no expectations, the sky is the limit, and your creativity is perfectly unbound - just as it should be.
Georgia O’Keeffe
Here’s a question for you… do you do good things when no one is watching?
Imagine this: you’re walking down the street alone and you see a piece of trash. The trash isn’t yours and there’s no trash can around, but do you pick it up?
If the answer is yes, why? What is your motivation? Can you recognize whether you are making a conscious or unconscious decision to pick it up? Is picking up the trash benefitting you in some way?
For many of us, the answer is “yes” because this “good” deed is simply a habit. We are taught from a young age to do things like throw away garbage, so when this action is not completed, something inside us feels off. As we all know, breaking a habit is hard to do.
Our habits of goodness are on display every day all day long - it’s a reflection of our integrity, our character, and our manners. Holding open the door for someone, saying good morning to coworkers, smiling at a stranger - all are habits of goodness. But let us challenge you to something new…
We invite you to be more engaged in each of these habits and turn your habits of goodness into rituals of goodness. By engaging your five senses and being completely present during your habits, you can convert a mindless action into a mindful one that will not only bring joy to others but to you as well.
I believe gratitude is about being whole - it’s a kind of circle of life.
When one feels, or maybe thinks, that they have been given something wonderful, our response is to accept it. After accepting, we come to the realization that our world, our friend, our family, a stranger, the gift-giver thinks that we are worthy of such a gift. In the last part of the process, when we acknowledge the gift with a humble thought of gratefulness, we have completed the circle of gratitude and become whole.
Let me explain. Have you ever received something such as a beautiful morning, the song of a bird, the hello in an elevator, a smile passing by, and not really stopped to acknowledge it as a gift? Yes, you are guilty of this. I am, too.
Notice that none of these things I mentioned are actually material things. We take all kinds of things for granted, which is the antithesis of gratitude. This unawareness hinders us from becoming whole.
I think that gratitude has a duality. At times, being grateful is completely innate, and at other times, we must learn to exercise and display our gratitude. Innate gratitude occurs in babies, animals, and plants. It is a natural act of realizing dependency and being grateful that our needs are being taken care of in spite of not having advanced cognitive development. Learned gratitude comes from education, culture, experience, and awareness. In these learned situations, cognition does play a role and makes us actively choose how we react to receiving gifts.
The feeling of wholeness arrived at through gratitude is one of joy. Then, when we are able to give to others because of this feeling of wholeness, it enhances the circle and expands the whole cycle.
We give, we receive - it’s that simple. The cycle of gratitude not only repeats itself but sustains itself completely.
When you stop and think a moment about mistakes, there is one undeniable truth: We are not alone; we all make them… we are all in this exclusive club together, no matter how smart, successful, old, beautiful, clever, or wise we believe ourselves to be.
We all put our foot into it.
My personal experience has been that once the proverbial misstep has taken place, the best thing to do is to try to gracefully and kindly manage ourselves out of the situation. And how you ask… do you do that?
STEP 1: ADMIT IT
STEP 2: ADMIT IT
STEP 3: ADMIT IT
Then, the rest is easy. Once you are at peace with the boo boo you have committed and are truly sorry about it, then you may begin to rebuild and make amends to make things better again. BTW I believe that many of our mistakes are not only self-inflicted, but heavily affect mostly us.
A fresh start demands a fresh perspective. Let's consider transforming our errors into learning opportunities today by adopting a new review ritual when we make a mistake:
Remove yourself to a quiet place and breathe. Then, kindly talk to yourself clearly and review what happened. Don’t dwell on the who…whether it was your mistake or someone else’s. Ponder on the why. Mistakes are not singular in nature; they need many factors to occur. If you are truthful to yourself, you will soon see the mistake not as a horrible incident but as a series of preventable future circumstances. Now, with that new clarity in mind, decide to forgive. Your heart is now free from anger and blame. Your mind is now ready to move forward and build.
When we approach our foibles with clarity and kindness, we are given (the universe is wise in this matter) the tools to build greater things – and what’s more beautiful than that?
budhagirl.com
I am continually amazed at people who are determined to be unhappy, to feel like there is something missing, and even when they have so much comfort, it seems that this is still not enough. They are empty.
I was at a dinner party last evening where a man even posited that you need to be unhappy in order to create and move society. He felt that if we had been happy through history man would not have progressed to the level of accomplishment we have today. (Ooooops….I guess he didn’t take into account some of that progress accounted for…war, weapons, and slavery.)
My point is this. Having goals and aspirations in life is good. Ambition, hard work, even our little friend the ego is not so bad if we learn one thing: Live in the moment. Enjoy the now. This has been said by wise men and women over time yet we fail to listen.
We are constantly seeking instead of being. Being in itself should be pretty fabulous and it is only when we lack things like our health or the company of those we love that we realize we don’t need much else.
I never tire when I tell people to enjoy the everyday things in life…your shower, your coffee or tea, your car, the noise of running water, the smell of a candle, toast, a sunrise, your phone (yes even your phone), can be a source of pleasure. I ask them to work towards the big moments in life keeping always in mind the joyful steps to get there. Even when things don’t go our way, we should understand that there is a takeaway in the good and bad.
Be happy now for you will never know about tomorrow…
The world is magical. Even today with science being able to prove so many things using sequencing, technology, and the scientific method, there are things we simply cannot explain. Maybe we will never be able to explain them because they have no explanation. They just are.
And just are, is very similar to just being.
Just being is a magical state. It is very hard to achieve because of the constant inner dialogue in our mind, the bombardment of technology, the need to be effective at everything, and the thought that without us nothing will get done.
Why can’t we be just like a flower, a fish, or Fred?
Flowers, fish, and Fred exist, they are real. They are living. They experience night and day. They are dependent upon nature and the fate the universe hands them to survive. Why can’t we be like them? Even for a few minutes?
Letting go, trusting that we will be okay, allowing ourselves to believe in things we cannot explain is the road to just being. In the state of just being, we become aware of a world that is bigger than us, yet we are part of this world. There is no me and there is no they.
Understanding this concept is magic.
Here’s a question for you…do you do good things when no one is watching?
Imagine this: you’re walking down the street alone and you see a piece of trash. The trash isn’t yours and there’s no trash can around, but do you pick it up?
If the answer is yes, why? What is your motivation? Can you recognize whether you are making a conscious or unconscious decision to pick it up? Is picking up the trash benefitting you in some way or not?
For many of us, the answer is “yes” because this “good” deed is simply a habit. We are taught from a young age to do things like throwing away garbage, so when this action is not completed, something inside us feels off. As we all know, breaking a habit is hard to do.
Our habits of goodness are on display every day all day long - it’s a reflection of our integrity, our character, our manners. Holding open the door for someone, saying good morning to coworkers, smiling at a stranger - all are habits of goodness. But let us challenge you to something new…
We invite you to be more engaged in each of these habits and turn your habits of goodness into rituals of goodness. By engaging your five senses and being completely present during your habits, you can convert a mindless action into a mindful one that will not only bring joy to others but to you as well.
I love October, it is my favorite month…here’s why:
Fall is my favorite season, and I feel that in the glorious month of October it really kicks in. Sometimes in September it still just feels like Summer (remember, I lived in Dallas).
The world in October’s changes color reminding me of a luxurious sigh, like the world is letting go after the frantic pace of new growth in Spring and ripening in Summer. Then, in all its plentiful bounty nature releases by producing golden hues and early evenings of twilight. I love the smell of October, the crispness of leaves that have fallen, and will once again repeat their cycle of life by nourishing the soil. Loam. I love that word: loam.
Of course, there is my wedding anniversary. Bill and I love October.
I also become very inspired by the food; I begin to use mushrooms in everything. I make cassoulets and earthy, satisfying suppers. I want to smell the aroma of wood-fired anything. My tablescapes take on the colors of the season…amber, fawn, caramel, chestnut maple, and for greens: sage.
Let’s not forget Halloween, or as I prefer to call it: All hallows eve. I am a great believer in the magic of things, things that are only perceptible if we are attuned to our world and very present, using all of our senses. Acutely using our senses. I feel imbued with the energy of the Harvest moon, and every once in a magical while a blue moon. October re-charges all of my crystals and I love to cleanse my spaces with sage.
I hope October is as inspiring and fulfilling to you as it is to me.
Today, we will put our many hindsights to good use.
The first lesson is not to take life for granted or your lifestyle for granted. The life paths of the past have different importance than they once did. Family, education, work-life balance, relationships, money, homeownership, transportation, and food are all being re-imagined. It is hard to let go of what has given us great success, acknowledging that the system was not perfect, yet this system did create the most advanced human civilization to date.
How can we improve? How do we learn from the past? How do we use hindsight to our advantage?
That, indeed, is the question.
For me, I realize now, more than ever, that there is only today. That I must live today to its absolute fullest. Today, I need to make sure that the people I love know that I love them. Today, I need to put on my thinking cap and inspire my team. Today, I have to nourish my body. Today, I have to have moments of reflection. Today, I must find joy. Today, I have to live in a manner that if I can no longer have hindsight…that I won’t regret it.
Hindsight is only good when you are still able to do something about things.
Today more than ever, science is proving that sleep is critical to our health, and if good health equates to beauty…then we should demand our beauty sleep.
Sleep allows our body and mind to recover. When I listen to people telling me that they get by with five hours or less of sleep a night, I begin to focus on their behavior and speech. Nine times out of ten, they are hyper, scattered, unfocused, and screaming out for someone to help them flip the switch off. Their skin is normally not good, their eating is scattered, and they are unable to be really present.
Technology exacerbates brain activity, so the constant onslaught of our attention by technology, especially towards bedtime, is bad, really bad. Certain foods, big dinners, caffeine, and other substances also contribute to unhealthy sleep patterns.
Unfortunately, sleep is something I struggle with. I wake up ready to go in the morning, so happy to get up and get going. I am go, go, go, until about 6 PM …then I begin to slow down. At about 10:30, I am out. The problem is I am not out all night. I wake up and begin to want to go, go, go. Not good. I have tried many things, but what seems to work for me now is a natural supplement called Power Off.
Ritual is also key to a good night’s rest. Meditation such as a gratefulness mantra before bed is wonderful. Keeping your room cold, dark, and with good airflow is also vitally important. I have discovered diffusers with lavender or chamomile to be a lovely ritual at bedtime.
Remember, you, more than anyone, deserve a good night’s rest. Sleep well my beauties.
“Women who follow fashion too closely run a great risk: losing their deeper nature, their style, their natural elegance.” -Yves Saint Laurent
Everyone by now knows that I love fashion. I made it my career and it is part of who I am, it is part of my environment, and it imbues my life with great joy. I have tried to share my love of fashion with my friends, family and through my work. No apologies.
I do agree with Yves however that being a slave to fashion is totally uncool and shallow. There is a difference between genuinely loving to dress-up or create a wonderful environment than trying to keep-up-with-the-Joneses or to be noticed for the sake of being noticed.
I wonder what Yves would think about Instagram? Would he think of it as a wonderful, creative and collaborative platform or would he think of people over-pleading the case?
Do what you love.
“If you always do what interests you, at least one person is pleased.” -Katherine Hepburn
People get this funny-worries look on their face when I begin a conversation by: If I get hit by a bus (or Bentley) tomorrow, then what…? And I then proceed to say that we must live each and every day as if it were our very last, and part of living that way is working/doing something that we love every day.
So, what if you are not the next billionaire? So, what if you want to be a forester, an underwater basket weaver, teach English to Mongolian children, or cook chocolate in its 1001 variations? Do it. Because chances are that if you are passionate about what you do, even the rough and bumpy spots in your journey will be mere inconveniences.
You, my dear friend, will plug along with a smile on your face and an incredible sense of accomplishment…what’s even better…an incredible sense of you.
The first rule about good taste is not talking about it…but since this blog is precisely about that well, there might be some exceptions.
Good taste is a redeeming qualifier. When you say someone has good taste, it is even better than saying someone is beautiful because good taste, although innate in some, denotes education, cultivation, discernment, refinement, and humility.
No one with good taste says… “Hey, look at me I have good taste” (okay, I digress…on Instagram, many laud themselves for having good taste). People with good taste go about their lives naturally unaware of having to try too hard, meaning that they are not actively engaged in developing good taste for its own sake.
Good taste is about being comfortable in one’s own skin and in pretty much any environment. It is aware, accepting, and grateful. Good taste has the wisdom to know that this too shall pass and that who they are is not defined by wealth, looks, or association.
So read, write, eat, and maintain your body, mind, and spirit well…Share with others, and as a few extras: don’t wear tank tops (unless doing sports) and ripped jeans (never).
There are three key lessons I have learned from change:
One, it’s going to be uncomfortable.
Two, it’s going to be exciting.
Three, you will be different.
Lesson One
Yes, at the onset change is uncomfortable. It asks us to leave behind, shed, expand, and be vulnerable. We see change as dual: good or bad; we seldom see change for what it is: an opportunity. We are scared of failure or of not liking the change, and of not liking our new self. No guts no glory, my friend.
Lesson Two
Change is exciting. It is like a rollercoaster…awful when you are waiting in line and getting strapped into the seat. Fantastic when you realize you are off on the journey. A journey that is full of hope, curiosity, joy, and very importantly of letting go. Allowing the adventure to open paths for you. Being your fantastic self that meets the world in its agony and its ecstasy.
Lesson Three
Hello, new you. You survived. You learned. You grew. You changed. You are now even more amazing.
Here’s looking at you, kid.
“The mind is not a vessel to be filled, but a fire to be kindled.” -Plutarch
This introspective quote by Plutarch makes me want to translate it into modern terms.
I like to say that most people don’t care so much about data, they would rather hear a story. It sparks their interest. it warms their heart. It keeps them engaged.
Although some will contend that data tends to be based in fact, these facts, unless they are dire, don’t really motivate us to modify our opinion or behavior. But when we hear a story that is relatable…a story that triggers empathy in us…one that we can follow from beginning to end…then, and only then, we are more likely to be called to action. Stories light the proverbial fire within us.
A perfect example of this is BuDhaGirl. Many times, I begin to tell people about the science behind BuDhaGirl. There are not only hard numbers to analyze, but also scientific studies to read that validate how moments of focused meditation and intention setting does amazing things to the brain. Countless studies show how short brain breaks during the day can directly influence the neuroplasticity of our brain. In other words, mediation and brain breaks can actually keep our brains pliable and youthful as we age. People listen and are interested in these facts, but the moment I tell the story about rituals and bangles, the concept of BuDhaGirl becomes lit from within. The background story and the client testimonials are the key to creating that emotional connection that makes BuDhaGirl a valuable, impassioned concept.
BuDhaGirl strives to kindle the innate fire in you.
Not much has changed really since about 1 BCE. I mean, yes, technologically man has advanced in quantum leaps but spiritually, and may we say esoterically…not so much.
The Six Perfections established in the earliest beginnings of Buddhism were true then and are true now. Let’s review:
Generosity - yes, very important. Generosity of spirit is paramount to contentment. When one is genuinely generous the world is a better place for oneself and others. Our outlook is positive. It is a state where giving is part of our nature. And generosity’s sister is gratitude.
Self-Discipline - It can’t happen unless you put your heart and mind to it. Set those intentions.
Patience - it is complex yet simple. A benevolent state or one of total anguish. Developing patience is a virtue, a life-long skill, and shows infinite kindness and wisdom.
Joyous Effort - when you do something you love, you do it well. However, at times, we are called to do things we dislike, but they need to get done in order for us to get from point A to point B. If we do those tasks with joy in our hearts and focus in our minds, great results happen.
Meditation - this is probably the hardest now vs then. Even though man had to work much harder in the past, the world was not so noisy. By noisy, I don’t mean it entirely literally, I mean that we are now so bombarded by innumerable stimuli, that finding a time and a place to simply be is quite difficult. Without time for meditation, or reflection, we simply operate on auto-pilot. Life passes us by.
Wisdom - we would all like to be known as wise. Yes, there are those, even children, that within certain contexts are inherently wise. However, true wisdom, the wisdom that is deeply rooted, in my opinion, comes from experience. Learning is a component of wisdom, and it is through actually experiencing something that we learn the best.
What Do Circles Really Represent?A circle is the oldest pattern recognized, accepted, and recreated by people, elevated by artists, and even acknowledged by tiny children. It is a symbol of eternity, of equality, of permanence, and change. The face of the rising sun is round, the concentric circles in water when a pebble has been dropped from recurring circles, the patch of light born of a single flame or of a mighty bonfire sheds warmth and illumination in a circle.
From huddles of playing children to the greatest gatherings of learned people, the shape they choose to make is a circle, where all can be heard, all can offer advice, and all can equally participate in whatever is being discussed and planned.
The Cycle of GrowthThe circle plainly represents a cycle that begins and ends at exactly the same place in space and time. It parallels life, it illustrates everything we know about the physical world, and it sheds light on our inner psyche that revolves around a beginning and an end. Nothing is unchanging, nothing is permanent, and yet nothing is totally ever erased. It cycles.
Circles are important to BUDHAGIRL’S around the WorldBuDhaGirl exists because of a circle. Physically through our AWB, we have built a global brand that brings joy to hundreds of thousands, perhaps even millions. The shape of a bangle…a circle. This shape is highly feminine and deeply rooted in Mother Nature and the Moon.
A circle inspires us to complete each cycle fully, whether it be a twenty-four-hour cycle, a monthly cycle, a quarterly, or a yearly cycle; there is always a beginning and an end. How we live it is up to us.
The Power of IntentionsBeyond being aware of the circular shape of our AWB, we encourage BuDhaGirls everywhere to set daily intentions and acknowledge that we begin each daily cycle to be of service to others and then end the cycle in the evening with deep gratitude. A circle of service and gratitude. Is there anything more powerful?
How to Create a Cycle of ReflectionReflecting about cycles using the circle as a focus point or “bindi” in your life will bring clarity and understanding as to where you’ve come from, who you are, and who you want to become. This reflection or meditation will show you circles that have been completed and circles that are about to form. Closed circles & open circles.
I leave you with this beautiful thought: “The nature of God is a circle of which the center is everywhere, and the circumference is nowhere.” Empedocles
Happy National Best Friend Day! Make sure to reach out and tell your bestie how much you appreciate their meaningful friendship!
Clearly routine and rituals are two very different things…so why is there even confusion amongst the two?
Seldom does one ever feel so good as when someone does something for us for no reason whatsoever. A simple unexpected acknowledgment that we matter. That we are seen.
Why did it ever take so long to come up with Galentine’s Day? Maybe I was just the last to know…
When we love someone or something we want to protect them, even at the expense of our own safety or well-being. Why is that?
Hello, you wonderful BuDhaGirl’s and BuDhaGuy’s that are celebrating 2022 as your year…the Year of the Tiger! How did the Chinese Zodiac start?
The Six Perfections established in the earliest beginnings of Buddhism were true then and are true now.
“Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.” -Eleanor Roosevelt
“To succeed at life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone, and a funny bone.” - Reba McEntire
“Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.” -Eleanor Roosevelt
“Opportunities are often things that you haven’t noticed the first time around.” - Catherine Deneuve
How would you like to be an oyster? It might seem like a silly question but once you begin to give this notion some thought it becomes quite interesting.
I am writing this blog specifically for myself. I have the absolute terrible habit of trying to fix everybody’s problems by giving people advice.
I often use an exercise using evocative language to help increase the awareness of our senses.
Something useful is efficient, utilitarian - it takes us where we want to go without stops along the way.
In this episode of BuDhaBlog, Jessica Jesse shares her views on the three dimensions of being - Physical, Mental, and Spiritual.
Jessica Jesse shares her thoughts on the three "Cs" - Caring, Compassion and Commitment.
Jessica Jesse shares her thoughts on the BuDhaBlog - "The Future Me". The future is intangible at times but irresistible because it holds growth, change, and possibility.
Jessica Jesse shares her thoughts on "Where Am I Me?" There are different versions of ourselves that do not allow us to be truly present, love ourselves and these versions bring us unhappiness and suffering.
Jessica Jesse shares her thoughts about if not me? Then who?...Have you ever wished you were someone else? Maybe someone famous, or rich, or powerful, or simple, or older, or prettier…
Jessica Jesse: "I guess when we are born, we become. We just are.
But what happens after that?"
We hope that all our BuDhaGirl moms enjoy this video made with much love from all the BuDhaGirl Team.
Have you ever stopped to think about people you have met or even admired from afar that are just irresistibly attractive? Listen to today’s BuDhaBlog Episode “That Je ne sais quoi..”
Jessica Jesse shares her thoughts on bringing beauty into your life...The essential ingredient is one: CARING.
Maintaining beauty is not having lots of things, maintaining beauty is simply being aware of what you do have.
There is no need to spend time or money when it is within our own selves to simply decide that we want beauty in our life…simply begin by breathing.
If we love what we do and are diligent in perfecting our craft on a daily basis (even when sometimes we really want to take a break) there is a very good chance that eventually we will feel successful and be successful.
What is extraordinary in life is that when we come across someone who really knows how to live, many times their life is filled with simplicity.
Through the years Jessica has come to the conclusion that luxury is a state of mind. It is not the material wealth in your life, it is not how much you have or how much it costs, and it is not power. True luxury is about letting go.
This kind of wealth, mental wealth is truly the one equalizer in the world. You can be a king and be poor mentally or you can be a pauper and be boundless in your mental wealth. One of the five Dhyani Buddhas, says this: that one should transform a “poverty mentality” into a “wealth mentality.”
One of Jessica's morning rituals is her Wealth ritual. It began almost seven years ago when a dear friend gave her a beautiful golden Buddha snow globe.
In this podcast, Jessica Jesse gives us recommendations on what to do when life gives us many choices and we have decisions to make.
When discussing with the BuDhaGirl team the theme of inclusion, the word interaction came up several times. Jessica Jesse took note and then decided to explore what interaction really means…
Jessica Jesse takes a walk back into her personal history to reflect on how Valentine's Day has changed over her life.
In this podcast, Jessica Jesse talks about reading the sign that are sometimes not tangible or physically observed or manifested.
This episode is one of Jessica's favorite blogs. Jessica Jesse talks about the unpredicted events that happened in 2020 and how to prepare for "The Black Swan" in the future.
Jessica Jesse, founder, CEO, and Creative Director of BuDhaGirl talks about the emergence of the word "shareability" and how it has impacted BuDhaGirl.
Jessica Jesse talks about setting intentions, the benefits of setting intentions, and how to set intentions that will influence outcomes.
This first blog podcast is a montage, in subsequent blogs you will meet a new friend that will accompany Jessica throughout 2021.
Har, har. When preparing for 2020, I likened it to “perfect vision.” Boy did I get it wrong.
Celebrate simply, celebrate deliberately, celebrate by creating moments that will linger in your heart, and in other’s hearts, as fond memories for time everlasting.
Jessica shares her key word & her meditation mantra for December, her favorite menu to celebrate the full moon, a few tips that fit the mood…and her BuDhaGirl stack for December.
“Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.” -William Arthur Ward
Danke Schoen, darling Danke Schoen…do you recognize the beginning lyrics to this iconic song made famous by Wayne Newton?
I believe at one point we have all heard this expression in some way or another: It is not how much you have but what you do with it that counts.
Jessica shares her key word & her meditation mantra for November. Her favorite menu to celebrate the full moon, a few tips that fit the mood…and her BuDhaGirl stack for November.
I am continually amazed at people who are determined to be unhappy, to feel like there is something missing, and even when they have so much comfort, it seems that this is still not enough
When Halloween rolls around, everyone on the BuDhaGirl Team decorated a mindfully-glamorous pumpkin for a friendly contest.
The world is magical. Even today with science being able to prove so many things using sequencing, technology, and the scientific method, there are always things we simply cannot explain.
“To succeed at life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone, and a funny bone.” -Reba McEntire
I have been pondering about temptations lately…and what it is like to be tempted. I have come to the conclusion that temptations are way more dangerous in youth because as an adult we tend to pair temptation with consequence.
Some days, workouts are simply more challenging than others. You don’t feel motivated or inspired, you blame your ennui on too little sleep, lack of hydration, and so on.
Jessica shares her key word & her meditation mantra for October, her favorite menu to celebrate the full moon, a few tips that fit the mood…and her BuDhaGirl stack for October.
In a year where uncertainty and heightened anxiety have become the norm, the question is: What intentions are driving the moves you make?
Falling in love and being realistic sometimes are very far apart…It has been over eight years now that I said to myself: “Jessica, this is where I want to live and where I want to depart this world (eventually).”
If you have never been around me, or have heard me speak, you know that I very much believe in the universe giving you what you need….you just have to ask for it.
Jessica shares her key word & her meditation mantra for September. Her favorite menu to celebrate the full moon, a few tips that fit the mood…and her BuDhaGirl stack for September.
Today more than ever, science is proving that sleep is critical to our health, and if good health equates to beauty…then we should demand our beauty sleep.
“If you watch how nature deals with adversity, continually renewing itself, you can’t help but learn.” -Bernie Siegel, MD
In my journey through life, I am enlightened - at random times - with what I would call revelations or insights.
I thought that this blog would be very appropriate considering all the changes that we have experienced so far in 2020.
If you would have told me that I would be writing a blog about the effects of a global pandemic on going back to school, I would have bet against you.
Jessica shares her key word & her meditation mantra for August. Her favorite menu to celebrate the full moon, a few tips that fit the mood…and her BuDhaGirl stack for August.
“Opportunities are often things that you haven’t noticed the first time around.” -Catherine Deneuve