The Gnar Couch Podcast: Recent Episodes
gnarcouch
Welcome back to the Gnar Couch Podshow, where mountain bike conversation, industry insight, and complete adult supervision failure all collide like a guy casing a jump he definitely told everyone he had.
This week, we’ve got Jason Moeschler on the couch. Jason is the CEO of Evil Bikes, a former pro rider, and one of those rare bike-industry people who actually knows what he’s talking about, which immediately makes him suspicious around here. We get into Evil Bikes, what it’s like running a small but legendary mountain bike brand, the weird state of the bike industry, racing, product development, Bellingham bike culture, and how a real brand survives when the market is acting like a drunk guy trying to explain suspension kinematics at 1:00 a.m.
Of course, because this is Gnar Couch, we also wander through several completely unnecessary side quests, laugh at things responsible adults probably shouldn’t laugh at, and prove once again that “bike podcast” is a very loose term. Jason manages to bring actual experience, knowledge, and perspective, while the rest of us do our best to drag the show back into the gutter where it belongs.
Topics include:
Evil Bikes and what makes the brand different
Jason’s racing and bike-industry background
The business side of mountain biking
Product development, bike design, and what riders actually care about
The current state of the bike industry
Bellingham, bike culture, and building a real mountain bike company
Gnar Couch derailments, dumb questions, and enough laughing to damage an office chair
If you came here for a clean, professional mountain bike interview, that was adorable. If you came here for real bike talk mixed with bad decisions, low standards, and a guest who somehow survived the whole thing, welcome home.
Subscribe, like, leave a comment, and tell us which Evil bike would make you a better rider even though we both know the bike isn’t the problem.
Timestamps:
00:00 Intro chaos, show setup, and early Gnar Couch nonsense
04:00 The show gets rolling and immediately starts going sideways
06:50 Jason Moeschler joins the couch
09:25 Jason’s background, racing, and life in the bike industry
17:15 Racing stories, mountain bike culture, and the long road to becoming an industry lifer
26:45 Evil Bikes, product development, and what makes a bike actually matter
29:45 Geometry, bike setup, industry opinions, and rider preferences
37:15 The bike industry, tough markets, small-brand survival, and keeping Evil alive
43:45 Bellingham, trail culture, company identity, and the realities behind the brand
48:05 Gnar Couch tangent zone, because obviously
56:35 Listener-style questions, big laughs, and the wheels coming off
58:40 More bike talk, more bad ideas, and more questionable analysis
01:04:00 Late-show chaos and industry rabbit holes
01:06:15 Jason keeps bringing actual insight while everyone else tries to ruin it
01:10:30 The boys continue pretending this is a structured interview
01:14:40 Final-hour laughs, side quests, and classic couch behavior
01:17:30 Wrap-up derailments, plugs, and the end of what we’re legally calling a podcast
Guest:
Jason Moeschler
Instagram: @evil.bikes.smooth.operator
Evil Bikes: @evilbicycles
Gnar Couch:
www.gnarcouch.com
@gnarcouch
Go to our Patreon and give us money. We've added old episodes, downloadable songs, and give you early access to raw, uncut shows for only $4.20/month.
We all ride TRP brakes. They're the best. Buy some.
Thanks to crankbrothers and Hyland Cyclery and EXT Suspension and Tannus for always keeping the bikes running.
Get 30% off BLIZ sunglasses and more with the code "sponchesmom".
We tried to be professional, but it turns out we're all smooth brain idiots who will never get their shit together. That said, we had Peter Salido on with us and he was damned entertaining and fun. Definitely one of the coolest guys in professional mountain biking!
Guest info: Peter Salido
Got to our Patreon and give us money. We've added old episodes, downloadable songs, and give you early access to raw, uncut shows for only $4.20/month.
We all ride TRP brakes. They're the best. Buy some.
Thanks to crankbrothers and Hyland Cyclery and EXT Suspension and Tannus for always keeping the bikes running.
Get 30% off BLIZ sunglasses and more with the code "sponchesmom".
Welcome to the Gnar Couch Podshow, where the intros are confusing, the hosts are unqualified, and the only thing steeper than our local trails is the price of a Deer Valley cookie. In this episode, we prove once again that no one should be taking mountain bike life advice from people whose greatest accomplishment is surviving a group chat roast.
This week, the crew kicks off with the usual banter about whose life is falling apart the fastest (spoiler: it’s a tie). Rob almost spits his beer everywhere, Perri brags about being a “spool carrier” like that means something, and Cheef tells traumatic cat stories that somehow end up with broken Corvettes, dead cats, and an existential crisis about Miatas.
We fail to get through the intro without getting distracted multiple times (classic), thank our sponsors with the enthusiasm of people who definitely don’t deserve them, and then drag CJ (“Neat Girl” herself, CJ Selig) back into the chaos for another round of questions she probably regrets answering.
Topics include:
- CJ’s wild re-entry to Virgin after Rampage, where she brings her Czech friend to Utah for a crash course in heatstroke and massive terrain anxiety
- Inside gossip about Rampage: why all the lines are basically a mosh pit, how to fail at finding enough rocks, and the pure joy of rolling big rocks down cliffs while TV producers have an aneurysm
- A masterclass on bombing desert ridges, eating shit, and pretending you’re not terrified because the camera crew is watching
- CJ's wrist x-rays, failed attempts at breaking the internet (or just her arm), and the motivational power of just yelling “Rampage!” at yourself until something “cool” happens
- More cat trauma, way too much information about how to dispose of cactuses, and at least two dog shoutouts (plus something about German paperwork, whatever)
Plus, Cheef and JP spend half the episode arguing who is stronger, CJ lists off sponsors like a guy on The Price Is Right, and everyone ignores the agenda to talk about BMX tricks that make us feel like toddlers on Striders.
We end by pretending to answer real listener questions, plugging our Patreon for the 37th time, and debating who our favorite guest is. CJ shouts out Haro Bikes, we thank our moms, and promises are made to tell more inappropriate stories in the Patreon bonus hour.
If you wanted an actual mountain bike podcast, you’re in the wrong place.
If you want to hear why none of us should have a driver’s license, own power tools, or give motivational advice to anyone, subscribe, tune in, and prepare to regret it.*
*No cactuses were harmed in the making of this episode. Except that one. Oops.
00:00 Random cat and fan mishaps
08:22 Patreon perks and sponsor shoutout
11:29 Hitting the trails with style
18:50 Digging and improvising for Rampage
25:07 Recovering from a minor crash
32:46 From quiet digs to media chaos
37:30 Recovering from setbacks in riding
42:27 The challenges of desert riding
45:39 The vibe of mountain riding
53:18 Guest asks the hosts a question
56:52 Wrapping up hour one
01:02:24 CJ's epic trail riding
Gnar Couch, mountain biking, freeride, CJ Selig, podcast, Rampage, Red Bull Rampage, Virgin Utah, MTB injuries, women in MTB, mountain biking podcast, bike park, BMX, mountain bike tricks, dig crew, freeride mountain biking, downhill racing, Kalnica Bike Park, bike life, MTB crashes, MTB training, Utah mountain biking, mountain bike stories, mountain bike community, MTB progression, bicycle podcast, cycling, extreme sports, Haro Bikes, MTB sponsors, TRP Cycling, Crank Brothers
Welcome to Episode 200 of the Gnar Couch Podshow, where mountain bike culture and idiocy crash together like two bros going for the same gap without checking their speed. If you came here for hot tips on how to shred harder, don’t worry, you’ll probably leave dumber than when you clicked.
This week, our special guests are Dillon Butcher (alleged trail wizard, possible cult leader) and Cole Nichol (not Cole Trickle, but we keep pretending anyway), straight from the Pacific Northwest where the dirt’s as loamy as our brains are mushy. They dive into their New World Disorder-inspired video project and explain how to build giant jumps, scare yourself, and survive digging for Rampage riders without peeing your pants.
Topics include:
- Trail guinea pigging: Why sending a freshly built monster jump is more terrifying than sharing a bathroom stall at Maverick.
- Mountain bike genres: Is there actually a war between “trail dads” and “freeride degenerates,” or did we invent that?
- Biking in Vancouver Island vs Utah: More trees, fewer crackheads (allegedly).
- Building jumps for your own glory and why kids will always poach your lines before you do a backflip.
- Sordid tales from Rampage dig crews, plus existential questions about penis size and Metallica vs Megadeth that definitely should not be public.
- Additional random nonsense about single-named rappers, beer-fueled philosophical debates, and why most of us probably need therapy.
Things get even more sideways when we try to remember which sponsor still talks to us, plug a questionable pair of pants, and force the guests to answer ridiculous Instagram questions. By the end, you’ll know about the Reza Trails jam, how to get better at jumping (pro tip: don’t listen to us), and why the second hour is somehow even more off-topic.
Professionalism? None.
Bad life advice? Guaranteed.
Thorough research? Not even a little bit.
If you want stories from people who dig, ride, and talk way too much about their toes, you’re home. If you want actual skill progression, please unsubscribe and don’t tell your coach.
Subscribe, like, or drop a comment explaining why you’re still here, because honestly, we can’t figure it out either.
PS: Don’t skip the song at the end unless you hate country music and joy.
Guest info: Dillon Butcher, Cole Nichol, Reza Trails
Check out our store for sick shirts.
Got to our Patreon and give us money. We've added old episodes, downloadable songs, and give you early access to raw, uncut shows for only $4.20/month.
We all ride TRP brakes. They're the best. Buy some.
Thanks to crankbrothers and Hyland Cyclery and EXT Suspension for always keeping the bikes running.
Get 30% off BLIZ sunglasses and more with the code "sponchesmom".
Why aren't you as good as Tylor James? Because you didn't hit Crabapple Hits your first time at Whistler then move to Virgin and start hucking your meat of cliffs. It's okay. Most of us are pussies. He's not. Tylor is a 43 year old dad who started MTB about 4 years ago and he's hit some of the biggest features in Virgin, where he now lives with his wife and four kids. He's one of the nicest dudes and a big reason we've booked so many great guests. Seriously, we hope you find some inspiration listening to his story, whether it's MTB, parenting, or nude pissing in Rob's backyard.
Guest info: Tylor James
Check out our store for sick shirts.
Got to our Patreon and give us money. We've added old episodes, downloadable songs, and give you early access to raw, uncut shows for only $4.20/month.
We all ride TRP brakes. They're the best. Buy some.
Thanks to crankbrothers and Hyland Cyclery and EXT Suspension for always keeping the bikes running.
Get 30% off BLIZ sunglasses and more with the code "sponchesmom".
Welcome to the Gnar Couch Podshow, the official headquarters of half-baked mountain bike wisdom, questionable life choices, and a healthy mix of potty humor. This week, we're stoked to have slopestyle legend and Rampage veteran Cam McCaul stopping by the virtual couch. On this episode, we get into: The glory days of freeride, the existential crisis of realizing you’re a Millennial, and why sending it in the Utah desert will always result in someone getting “slapped by the boss” (spoiler: the boss is sand). Behind-the-scenes chaos of Red Bull Rampage broadcasting, where Cam McCaul handles a hectic headset while trying not to say things he's not supposed to. A deep dive into what makes a “favorite feature." As always, Boston Rob manages to geek out so hard he nearly breaks the camera, Cheef sells the Patreon like it’s his last shot at retirement, and the classic “Rob can’t do intros” running gag continues. And we have to have some kind of technical issue, so JP's camera stops working and we replace his face with a photo of him sucking his own toes. So buckle up, grab a dino nugget like Cam McCaul, and prepare for an hour of bike talk, bad jokes, and self-deprecating wisdom only Gnar Couch could cook up. Don’t expect fitness tips, but do expect to walk away with a craving for Coors Light and a newfound appreciation for bush-landings. Dive in—you’ll regret nothing… or everything.
Guest info: Cam McCaul
Check out our store for sick shirts.
Got to our Patreon and give us money. We've added old episodes, downloadable songs, and give you early access to raw, uncut shows for only $4.20/month.
We all ride TRP brakes. They're the best. Buy some.
Thanks to crankbrothers and Hyland Cyclery for always keeping the bikes running.
Get 30% off BLIZ sunglasses and more with the code "sponchesmom".
Welcome to the Gnar Couch Podshow, where mountain biking meets middle school humor, and none of our intros ever go according to plan—thanks in advance, Rob. This week, we welcome the one and only April Zastrow to the show: former pro motocross racer, mountain biking content creator, surfer, and the kind of human we’d totally trust around our children, if we weren’t such bad influences ourselves.
We saddle up and ride through April’s “mutt life” of action sports, her journey from nearly getting lapped in pro moto to inspiring future shredders (including Rob's daughter), and why bigger jumps aren’t as scary as small ones. We also plunge into the gnarly reality of being a woman in the MTB world, how she handles haters (spoiler: better than JP handles whiskey and the Old Rampate Site), and the science of bike squeaks, especially when Ryan Rodriguez is nearby.
Of course, things get off track: there’s talk of “dump trucks,” debates over whether Rob can leave his house without spilling beer, and our patented EXT/TRP appreciation rant. If you love deep dives into gear AND deep dives into our own self-esteem issues, you’re in the right spot. If not, just stick around for the part where we try to figure out if May June is a better name than April.
So tune in for bikes, bad jokes, a little self-deprecation, and a solid chance you’ll hear something about mayonnaise, wieners, or at least a brake lever pulled with someone’s pinky. It’s the Gnar Couch Podshow. Cumb for the chaos, stay for the dumb, and leave with fewer brain cells than you started.
Guest info: April Zastrow
Check out our store for sick shirts.
Got to our Patreon and give us money. We've added old episodes, downloadable songs, and give you early access to raw, uncut shows for only $4.20/month.
We all ride TRP brakes. They're the best. Buy some.
Thanks to crankbrothers and Hyland Cyclery for always keeping the bikes running.
Get 30% off BLIZ sunglasses and more with the code "sponchesmom".
Welcome to the Gnar Couch Podshow, where mountain bikes, questionable humor, and barely functioning attention spans all pile onto a metaphorical homeless couch and roll down a metaphorical hill. This week, we’re joined by San Francisco legend and urban bike ninja Teddy Hayden, whose riding and viral videos have gotten him more attention from the Forest Service than Rob’s last attempt at a show intro (which, let’s be real, went about as well as a beer spill in Cheef’s lap).
We dig in on Teddy’s infamous $50,000 fine for shredding cliffs near the Golden Gate Bridge, the ongoing war between mountain bikers and government trail cops (spoiler: none of it could’ve just been an email), and a surprisingly passionate debate about which bike components we could live without (dropper posts and seats—are you brave enough?). There’s also a deep investigation into the true nutritional value of "pussy is low-carb," a couple wiener jokes, and the classic Gnar Couch running gag: Rob forgetting to wrap up the show and the eternal confusion about who’s actually supposed to write those episode descriptions.
If you’re here for serious bike technique or clean comedy, you’re outta luck. But if you want stories about human poop on trails, debates about Trader Joe’s ravioli, and a group of barely-adult hosts breaking down the finer points of mountain bike culture (with a little self-deprecating banter and bathroom humor), this episode is for you. Strap in, get ready to laugh at our expense, and prepare for at least one beer spill, a few botched intros, and possibly a confession or two that should never see daylight.
Guest info: Teddy Hayden
Check out our store for sick shirts.
Got to our Patreon and give us money. We've added old episodes, downloadable songs, and give you early access to raw, uncut shows for only $4.20/month.
We all ride TRP brakes. They're the best. Buy some.
Thanks to crankbrothers and Hyland Cyclery for always keeping the bikes running.
Get 30% off BLIZ sunglasses and more with the code "sponchesmom".
JP showed up late tonight, most likely after seeing Cheef deadlift so much last week. We had absolutely no plan tonight so we made a top five list of the dumbest types of people. We talked about bikes for a little bit before completely devolving into one of the most Gnar Couchish Hour 2s in a long time. Silly banter mostly, with .69% actual insight.
Check out our store for sick shirts.
Got to our Patreon and give us money. We've added old episodes, downloadable songs, and give you early access to raw, uncut shows for only $4.20/month.
We all ride TRP brakes. They're the best. Buy some.
Thanks to crankbrothers and Hyland Cyclery for always keeping the bikes running.
Get 30% off BLIZ sunglasses and more with the code "sponchesmom".
Hot damn, welcome to episode 194 of the Gnar Couch Podshow, the only podcast where your IQ drops faster than a mountain biker with a whiskey throttle and daddy issues. No Jimmy tonight—he’s busy dealing with "morning sickness" or maybe he’s just constipated with his own bad takes. Meanwhile, Boston Rob is flexing a purple jersey like some kind of sexual lumberjack who lost a bet, and Cheef is singlehandedly keeping Protein Foundry in business—just to get shook down for a $10 shake and a guilt-tip at checkout.
Don’t worry, this episode has more awkward bottom jokes than a freshmen dorm, with JP running a full desktop in the back of his truck because technology stopped advancing the minute he started sniffing broken CRT glass as a kid. Our guest Normal MTBer basically drops in to remind you that every influencer is one concussion away from saying “yup, I guess this is my merch company now.”
If you’re new here, just know that Patreon gets you the stuff that’ll really get us cancelled—you want to hear about Normal MTBer getting DMs from hot moms, or maybe just the daily struggle of keeping your nutsack from sticking to your thighs. If you don’t, fuck it, keep listening anyway—it’s all downhill from here.
This is episode 194: Lower your expectations, slip into those banana hammocks, and pray to the Virgin Mary with her tits out, because the only thing tighter than Cheef’s wallet is the chain lube from Filthy.
We disappeared for almost a month and somehow came back louder, dumber, and more confident than ever, which frankly shouldn’t be possible, but here we are. The show is back and firing on all cylinders, and if you disagree that’s fine, but you’re wrong.
We’re joined by @trackstandmemes, who dug up our 2023 feud with Girls Whose Dads Should Have Pulled Out like an unsolved cold case, managed to somehow drag our friends at @lowcountrymtbassociation into the mix, and then made an AI song about it years later. Totally normal behavior. We take a misty-eyed stroll down memory lane while playing songs dunking on clipless pedal riders and Bentonville, because some traditions matter and some wars never end.
Hour one feels like classic Gnar Couch in the sense that it probably shouldn’t exist, but somehow does. Rob manages to completely obliterate YouTube's "Don't Swear Within the First Five Minutes of Your Show Rule." And we close the show explaining that it's perfectly easy and normal to get shot in 2026, if that's something you're looking to do.
It’s a triumphant return. It’s unhinged. It’s peak Gnar Couch. Nature is healing. The Couch is back.
This is not a typical Gnar Couch episode. Tonight, the boys focused on Jaxson Riddle's real story and the challenges he’s faced early in life, many of which mirror struggles listeners have shared privately with the hosts over the years. After watching Buried Alive, the importance of hearing directly from him felt immediate. The conversation went deeper than riding, touching on mental health, personal setbacks, and the work of building something better out of difficult experiences.
The boys also opened up about their own struggles, making this episode less about bikes and more about honesty, perspective, and reminding listeners that they aren’t alone even when it feels that way.
As always, we remain available to the community we've built. Your continued support reinforces that this show has become more than just a podcast about bikes and questionable decisions.
If you have anything you ever need to talk about or feel alone, DM us or call the OC Line and leave a message. We're all here for you.
Guest info:
Jaxson Riddle
Check out our store for sick shirts.
Got to our Patreon and give us money. We've added old episodes, downloadable songs, and give you early access to raw, uncut shows for only $4.20/month.
Get 30% off BLIZ sunglasses and more with the code "sponchesmom".
There's a reason everyone on the show rides TRP brakes and has long before we knew people who work there. They're powerful, they feel fantastic, and they'll lay down a great skid when needed—just like Boston Rob's "substantial a$$." We got the another long-haired blonde boy—TRP marketing guy Nate Silberman—to join up with Cheef this episode to talk about TRP, it's long history in biking, the company's future, and just what exactly makes those brakes so damn good. But we also touch on Rob's dancing skills, what it would take to get us to dance at a club, sketchy double-black trails, the legendary John Kilo and his most recent "project," and Cheef's knee pads which he claims don't stink.
Guest info:
TRP Brakes
Nate Silberman
Check out our store for sick shirts.
Got to our Patreon and give us money. We've added old episodes, downloadable songs, and give you early access to raw, uncut shows for only $4.20/month.
Get 30% off BLIZ sunglasses and more with the code "sponchesmom".
We love Reece Wallace. Not so much because he rides bikes, but more because he pisses off large corporate entities by posting clips of himself in excavator bucket hot tubs. It's also pretty cool that he bought the wings from a plane in which the pilot was beheaded so he could use them at his homemade bike park. Another cool thing about Reece Wallace is that he worked hard to build his career as a freerider and content creator because he has a trust fund. That's actually not true He's never been a trust funder, though people sometimes think he is for some reason. Finally, we love Reece because he has a rad pilot voice, which is mandatory when you're a pilot. It was awesome having him back on. We talk about all of that, the Reece Wallace Invitational, baggy jeans, and a ton more on this...the greatest MTB show in the world...the Gnar Couch Podcast.
Guest info:
Reece Wallace
Check out our store for sick shirts.
Got to our Patreon and give us money. We've added old episodes, downloadable songs, and give you early access to raw, uncut shows for only $4.20/month.
Get 30% off BLIZ sunglasses and more with the code "sponchesmom".
On today’s Gnar Couch Podshow, the boys somehow tricked freeride legend Tyler McCaul into a raw, questionably-legal look at big-mountain biking. Tyler opened up about the highs, the lows of Rampage. We got into what it’s really like behind the scenes of the Rampage broadcast.
He talked about dad life, athlete life, and attempting to keep a career alive while the bike industry plays musical chairs with bankruptcy filings. Naturally, Jimmy asked zero relevant questions and Boston Rob salivated over another freeride pro joining the show.
We dug into why riders keep sending it off mountains shaped like middle fingers and how to find balance in a world where everyone’s pretending to be sponsored on Instagram. If you want the real story on riding, risk, community, and staying true to what you love,, this episode fully delivers like a FedEx driver hopped up on 72-Hour Energy.
Tune in. Or don’t. We’re still cooler than all the other MTB content creators combined (in our heads), so we'll be fine.
Guest info:
Tyler McCaul
Check out our store for sick shirts.
Got to our Patreon and give us money. We've added old episodes, downloadable songs, and give you early access to raw, uncut shows for only $4.20/month.
Get 30% off BLIZ sunglasses and more with the code "sponchesmom".
00:00 "Patreon Thanks and Extras"
10:48 "Crash Holds and Reflections"
11:49 Silent Crowd Respectful During Crash
18:01 "Pressure to Outdo Past Performances"
22:58 "Fresh Venues to Preserve Rampage"
32:35 "Analyzing Tricks with Video"
37:17 "Struggling to Be Present"
39:48 Balancing Passion, Work, and Fatherhood
48:02 Mountain Bike Industry Challenges
51:13 Grateful for Sponsorship and Perseverance
54:30 "Building a Hardtail Again"
01:01:29 "Rodeo Run Success Story"
01:10:18 "Blizz Sponsorship and Baiku Time"
01:16:12 "Trail Dreams and Tensions"
On this week’s Gnar Couch Podshow, we went deeper than Sponch's mom with the one and only Braydon Bringhurst. The dude’s basically part philosopher, part bike Jedi, and part anti-gravity climbing machine. We talked about rebuilding your mind (and body) after you eat sh*t, launching the Hard MTB League, and somehow raising a family while still hucking your meat into heretofore unrecognized Moab transitions.
Braydon dropped wisdom on how to stay present, push your limits without exploding your spleen, and build a community of riders who actually get it. Whether you’re sending it in life, business, or just trying not to cry during your post-crash shower, this episode will slap you harder than a rogue handlebar to your right nipple (see Cheef's chest).
Listen and maybe, just maybe, you'll figure out how to shred your brain as hard as your bike.
Guest info:
Braydon Bringhurst
Check out our store for sick shirts.
Got to our Patreon and give us money. We've added old episodes, downloadable songs, and give you early access to raw, uncut shows for only $4.20/month.
Get 30% off BLIZ sunglasses and more with the code "sponchesmom".
00:00 "Work, School, and Postmodernism"10:38 "Rediscovering a Love for Biking"13:40 Competitive Struggles and Mental Growth18:56 Mental Performance Coaching Passion26:59 "Mastering Presence and Focus"28:13 "Three-Point Focus Strategy"37:43 "Overcoming Fear While Jumping"41:18 "The Look in Their Eyes"45:13 Journaling and Overcoming Setbacks51:50 Passion, Therapy, and Family Balance56:24 "Helping, Laughing, Sharing Passion"01:01:12 Community Connections Matter01:06:27 Best Trails for Technical Riding01:21:23 "Nardcouch Patreon Show Promo"01:23:52 "Unexpected Airdrop: Anarchist Cookbook"01:29:41 "Join Our Patreon Today"01:34:57 "Toes and Hoes Song"
We went full send with a freeride legend and another in the making this week with Cam Zink and surprise guest Chelsea Kimball on the show. Cam talked about what changes, if any, are needed at Rampage, launching world-record backflips, a decade of Rampage, and his motivation for starting businesses. He broke down the art of gambling your shoulder and your bank account in the name of passion. Chelsea gave us the lowdown on the headspace it takes to stare down a Rampage line that looks like a straight-up death wish and say, “Yeah, I’ll send that.”
It’s part therapy session, part crash course in risk addiction, and part masterclass in turning stupidity into purpose. If you’ve ever wanted to know what happens when freeriders are handed a microphone and told to say whatever they want, this episode’s meant for you.
Guest info:
Cam Zink
Chelsea Kimball
Check out our store for sick shirts.
Got to our Patreon and give us money. We've added old episodes, downloadable songs, and give you early access to raw, uncut shows for only $4.20/month.
Get 30% off BLIZ sunglasses and more with the code "sponchesmom".
00:00 "Guest Talk with Cam Zink"
10:32 "Mammoth X Games Pressure"
11:57 "Do or Die Mentality"
16:39 "Wins, Kids, and Podium Moments"
25:23 "Bikes That Feel Right"
30:20 "More Events for Two-Wheeled Sports"
36:47 "Favorite Venue with Cliff Band"
40:42 "Calculated and Custom Built"
43:31 Pioneering Mountain Bike Freeriding
52:05 Gnarly Drift on Vertical Wall
56:30 Embracing Risk and Preparedness
01:02:49 "Scissor Drop on Battleship Ridge"
01:05:49 Choices and Ambitions
01:15:07 "Blizz Eyewear Promo Code"
01:18:08 "Patreon Extras with Chelsea"
Welcome to the Gnar Couch Podshow, the only mountain bike podcast where Rampage crashes, poop jokes, and total confusion over basically everything all meet on one couch that’s definitely been peed on and probably worse. This week we try to understand Red Bull Rampage 2025: from Adolph Silva’s gnarly crash that left us all queasy, to the eternal debate over whether the scoring is dumb, or just really, really dumb. We even dive into exoskeletons for lazy people, the ever-important “who’s the strongest” competition between JP and Cheef, and why you should definitely do A1 steak shots at Wyoming bars.
Other highlights: Rob can’t pronounce anyone’s name (Salama Massacre is a judge now, right?), Chief and JP show off their lesbian flannel game, and we discover new levels of bathroom humor (“waffle stomp” aficionados, this one's for you). Perhaps we throw in some actual Rampage insight. LFG!
00:00 "Desert Watchtower"
07:24 "Adolf Silva's Crash"
12:51 Watch Rampage?
20:58 Judging Criticism and Expertise
22:34 Rob's Dominance in Commentary
28:54 Missionary Trps and Accents
35:01 AI Imagines with Pictures
39:09 "Stranded Without Cash, Help Arrives In The Form of a Large Woman"
48:43 "Bentonville Looter Comments"
53:36 "Rage and Strength Dynamics"
57:53 "First Amateur Rampage Line Experience"
01:05:16 Trail Struggles and Jump Mishaps
01:08:59 "No Event Needed for Chaos"
01:12:04 "John Clarkson Is Back With Gnar Couch"
This week on the Gnar Couch Podshow, we hang with rampage-riding legend CJ Ceilig. Okay, she's not legendary yet, but she will be after this podcast. She somehow makes a terrible sausage party pod team actually worth listening to. She's a Eurotah-bouncing, breakfast sandwich-dodging shredder who’s done it all. From bluffing her way through a bike-shop job (“Derailleur? Totally pasta.”) to leading teams at Five Ten and Reverse Components, CJ’s story is equal parts hilarious and inspiring.
We talk about the chaos of Rampage prep, the magic and madness of Virgin, Utah, and the glamorous side of living in a van, which may or may not include neighbors who poop in buckets.
If you’re here for serious bike discussion, you’re in the wrong place. But if you love grit, humor, and real stories from the freeride desert and beyond, hit play.
Guest info:
CJ Celig
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00:00 "Scheduling Episode with CJ"
06:41 "Struggling with Mountain Biking"
11:58 "Bike Shop Connections Journey"
19:58 "Death Mo Bike Memories"
21:50 "Reconnecting Through Downhill Racing"
28:24 "Thrill of Mountain Skiing"
34:21 "Digging Days Were Special"
39:42 "Navigating Riding Challenges"
45:02 "Tricks, Jumps, and Canyon Gaps"
48:54 "Dating Profile and Freeride"
55:24 "Committing to the Investment"
01:03:25 "Challenges of Female Free Riders"
01:04:14 "Behind the Scenes Insights"
01:10:49 "Building Confidence in New Terrain"
01:16:32 Wind, Distraction, and Run Dynamics
01:21:16 "Trail or Downhill Debate"
01:27:16 "Marketing Power of Athletes"
01:31:08 Hollywood Creatives and Business Challenges
01:40:05 "Grateful, Fun, Bonus Content"
01:41:21 "Biking Adventures in a Hatchback"
Welcome to episode 184 of the Gnar Couch Podshow. We braved rare severe Utah thunderstorms, insane traffic, and stuffed our bikes in Corvettes this weekend to bring you Bienvenido Aguado, who shares everything from his front flip stories to how he manages to keep things fun when the pressure’s on.
As always, there’s some friendly roasting, plenty of self-deprecating humor, and a healthy dose of just figuring it out as we go. We get into what it’s really like to train for Rampage, the weirdness of telling someone your real name at a coffee shop, and weigh good vibes vs podiums. If you’re here for polished interviews, you’ve taken a wrong turn. But if you want a look at the mountain bike scene that’s raw, real, and maybe a little ridiculous, you’re in the right place.
Guest info:
Bienvenido Aguado
Tylor James
Marcel Durbau
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00:00 Grateful Encounter at Ranch
06:49 Day Off: Wind and Tattoos
14:30 "Seeking New Challenges in Biking"
18:53 Canyon Gap Run Reflections
24:11 "Determined and Goal-Oriented"
27:01 "Legendary Bike Throw"
33:35 "Reflecting on 2019 Memories"
38:54 Uplifting Mountain Biking Experience
46:39 Rampage Vision: Ryan Rodriguez
51:22 Passion, Support, and Gratitude
57:26 "Unbreakable Bond and Youthful Spirit"
01:00:44 "Dark Festival Wind Challenges"
01:05:57 "Mountain Biking Community Significance"
01:13:38 "Genuine Guy Praised by Peers"
01:17:27 Conversational Curiosity and Connection
01:20:31 Reflecting on Joining the Show
01:30:10 Balancing Professionalism and Passion
01:33:56 "Future Mountain Biking Podcast Plans"
01:41:27 "Blizz Eyewear Promo Code Offer"
01:42:56 Interview Extended, Article Rescheduled
This week, we’re stoked (and honestly a little confused) to bring on Jarrod Harris—a former comic-turned-bike-park-owner, who went from taking shots off strippers and 6am radio gigs to building one of the gnarliest mountain bike parks in Georgia, complete with mysterious “Trail Armor” that either ruins mountain biking or is the second coming of dirt.
We dive deep into why Georgia’s not all peaches and flat land. Guess what? There’s real riding, way too much rain, and just enough southern spite to keep things interesting. Jarrod spills about the secret origin of his bike park (hint: divorce revenge and annoying horse people), dishes on the struggle of building a legit park, and reveals how a little bit of marine carpet and a lot of stubbornness can outlast even the worst dirt.
Of course, we can’t make it through an episode without juvenile jokes. Rob fumbles talking for the 137th time, Chief admits his bike shorts are basically a portable diaper, and our “trail maintenance” strategy still involves as much bathroom humor as actual trail work. There’s also a debate about which is worse: Atlanta traffic or carpet burn on your elbows (spoiler: both suck).
If you’re new around here, don’t worry. We’re just as dumb as we sound, and if you’re looking for hot takes on wheel sizes, beer spilled on the soundboard, or a passionate case for riding bikes instead of arguing about Trump on Facebook, you’ve found your people.
So buckle in, grab a cold one (or a clean chamois), and get ready for an episode that’s fast, loose, and probably just a little dumber than you bargained for. Let’s get weird!
00:00 "Discover Mountains in Georgia"
11:02 Midwest Humor and Lifestyle
14:45 BMX Track Saved My Life
20:57 Bike Park Planning Tips
24:07 Durable Bike Park Surface Solution
32:08 Building Community and Family
33:23 Promoting Outdoor Activity for Kids
42:55 Park Trail Evolution
48:29 Product Versions and Sustainability
52:08 Finding Connection Through Bike Riding
56:51 "Excited Visit with a Baby"
01:01:03 "Bike Industry's New Standards Spin"
01:06:30 "Upcoming Discussion: Hour Two"
Welcome to the Gnar Couch Podshow. This week, we have a special guest: up-and-coming Rampage wild card Finley Kirschenmann. We’ll dig into how a kid from Sandy, Utah gets gnarly enough for Rampage, plus we get the inside scoop on desert lines, digging skills, and whether dual-crown tailwhips are actually possible.
Other topics rolling around in this episode: BMX as the secret sauce for bike control, the never-ending baggy pants discussion, and the existential question of whether style or spin-rate should win Rampag.
True to form, Rob manages to jack up the intro twice, which is just another may-may in the rearview, and by the time we start talking about bike park Uber rides or hugging etiquette, you’ll wonder why any of us are allowed unsupervised on microphones.
So if you want high-level training advice or nutrition wisdom, keep scrolling. But if you like rowdy bike stories, dumb jokes, and hearing us mess things up repeatedly, you’ve found your new favorite terrible podcast.
Guest info:
Finley Kirschenmann
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00:00 Rob’s Impact Underestimated on Show
10:38 Tyson's Impact and Growth
11:37 BMX Foundations and Favorite Parks
17:12 "Finding Comfort in Monumental Events"
22:22 High-Level Riding Appreciation
28:18 Moto Style Freeride Passion
35:36 "Rebuild or Create Anew?"
40:13 Dirt Bike Crash Landing
45:26 Distinct Whip Styles in Riding
53:11 TBS's Iconic Front Flip Moment
56:32 "Fast-Action Skateboard Revival"
01:02:49 "Genre Doesn't Matter"
01:12:41 Tasmanian Devil Leads Red Bull Ramble
01:13:17 "Red Bull Rampage: Spin Obsession"
Welcome to the only MTB podcast to provide you with suspect mountain bike expertise, best enjoyed while sunning your rear, paddling your shins, or taping down your “business” for that sweet aerodynamic gain. Oh, and we have pro riders like Jerrell Webster on.
On this week’s episode, we chewed through three core themes at a speed only barely hampered by our collective ADHD: 1) Debating the joys of escaping from traditional team sports into the beautiful, ego-destroying mayhem of mountain biking, 2) Exposing the seedy underbelly of the MTB world’s obsession with tight kits, mysterious Facebook boomers, and our own online store that only seems to accept PayPal, and 3) Taking an overdue dose of reality about diversity on bikes, featuring Jerrell Webster’s quest to make Rampage less pale. We sprinkle in some shinner injuries, unsolicited scooter opinions, and just enough political Facebook comment dumpster fires to keep your brain itching all week.
We recommend you "smash" play harder than Sponch's mom if you want a “podshow” that delivers the gnar, the existential dread, and all the self-deprecating humor your tender little ears can handle. Just don’t expect any useful advice—unless you consider life hacks like “always ready to shred” and “never trust a man who pedals” as gospel.
Guest info:
Jerrell Webster
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00:00 From Skateboarding to Sports Shift
16:17 "Trail Riding: Trust and Camaraderie"
30:01 "Always Ready: E-Bike Philosophy"
38:42 Parental Support in College Decisions
50:43 Inclusive Engagement with Diverse Communities
01:01:51 Record-Breaking Stunts by People of Color
01:09:58 Perspective Shift on Height Fear
01:14:13 Effort in Scootering Matters
01:25:38 Recent Influential Riding Experiences
01:40:52 Event Coordination & Rider Reflections
01:51:39 "Jackson Goldstone's Tight Kit Trend"
02:01:13 "Big Simping Chronicles"
Welcome to the Gnar Couch Podshow, where mountain biking meets questionable life choices and creative chaos, and somehow, women still agree to come on the show. If you’re after a polished podcast, you’re in the wrong place. This is a podshow, which basically means we’re like a podcast, but with more bad decisions and a few conversations you probably shouldn’t play at work (or around your mom). Picture the world’s sketchiest couch, then imagine us inviting up-and-coming freeride star Janelle Soukup to sit on it. That’s our version of hospitality. (And that's probably why she called in.)
On this episode, we’re serving up a three-course meal of send: first, we celebrate the rise of women’s freeride, featuring Janelle’s stacked resume and her invite to the 2025 Rampage lineup. Next, we try to get deep (for about three seconds) on the mental gymnastics it takes to launch yourself off a sheer cliff, sprinkling in advice that could either inspire your dreams or or kill you. Finally, we wrap things up with our signature back-end chaos: a mix of questionable humor and reminders that we are all very bad at adulting.
Guest info:
Janelle Soukup
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00:00 Connect & Support via Oral Line
10:54 Email Surprise Shock
12:55 First Event, Learning Experience
18:12 Mastering Mountain Biking Techniques
26:38 Backcountry Trailhead Experience
32:15 Teaching Flat Spin Success
34:17 Huck Flips: Solid vs. Foam
42:51 "Navigating Wall Street Trail Hazard"
45:39 Balancing School and Career Ambitions
52:06 Inspiration From Peer Daring
56:12 Lost Opportunities and New Beginnings
01:00:54 Advice for Young Filmmakers
01:06:51 Struggling With Professional Identity
01:11:29 "Fail Friday Crash Obsession"
01:17:18 Blizz Sunglasses: Durable and Reliable
01:24:46 Patreon Update and Weekly Highlights
01:27:27 "Astrocyte Battle in Darkness"
This might just be the best mountain bike podshow you’ve ever hate-listened to. That’s right—podshow, because podcasts are boring and suck, and furthermore, calling it a podcast would be an insult to the fine tradition of nonsense, awkward silences, and self-inflicted pain we serve up with all the grace of Boston Rob “making it clap” at dance parties (yes, that actually happened).
On this episode, we’re uniting mountain bikers the best way we know how: by traumatizing Boston Rob with potential electrocution every time he laughs or drops an F-bomb (so basically, every ten seconds), peppering our guest Sergi “Ride Caviar” Massot with questions he doesn't want to answer, and dissecting the fine art of refusing to do something scary the first time, unless it’s stealing a Monster fridge while blacked out after a BMX event (best Sergi story yet). There’s enough childish conversation about absolute carnage on trails, dog tributes, and existential dread over medical bills to make you feel at home, disrespected, and weirdly motivated, all at once.
So if you thought you were signing up for thoughtful, nuanced mountain bike commentary, you’re almost as dumb as the hosts. Welcome to the Gnar Couch Podshow—the only podshow where the runtime is matched only by the length of our collective hospital bills. Hit play. Enjoy the accompanying mental degradation.
Guest info:
Ride Caviar
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00:00 "Joining Patreon Celebration Tonight"
07:33 Patreon Ringtone Request
16:53 "Adopting the Perfect Puppy"
19:47 Extreme Danger on Double Black Trails
25:21 Forest vs. Desert Riding Preferences
31:37 "Utah Trip: Costly Experience"
37:37 Wheelchair Trailblazing in Squamish
43:38 Hard Work Over Talent
46:47 Overshot Jump at Pride Fiesta
55:53 Drunken BMX Misadventure
57:31 "Nollie RMU Racer Appreciation"
01:05:38 "Oral Connections & Affordable Access"
01:07:29 "Rob's Crisis Escalates"
It’s episode 178 of the Gnar Couch Podshow! We’re already three minutes in and the F-bomb counter is higher than your buddy who “microdosed” but forgot the “micro.” Utah probably hates us (again), but that’s fine—Utah also hates fun, women's thighs, and beer over 4%.
But, this isn't your dad’s mountain bike podcast. Actually, your dad probably left because you bought an E-bike, then he joined a Facebook group called Lycra Enthusiasts Who Love Buttholes. Guess what? We’re all you’ve got now.
This episode: memes, caffeine jitters, brown-eye contact, and the unholy truth that “analog” is being horribly mispronounced. Mountain bike culture is dead, and we’re here performing a necrophilia-themed jazzercise class on its stiff little corpse.
Joining us is the meme-lord himself, Ryden Dirty—43 years old, knees like stale breadsticks, and a professional at making Facebook warriors cry into their Garmin watches. He’s an ex-BMXer, chef, and current semi-professional button-pusher. If you get offended by him, congratulations—you’re softer than a Casey’s gas station pizza.
We’ve also got:
- A Zoom room full of Russian bots who keep trying to sell us boner pills.
- Facebook dads with “opinions” so bad they make your uncle’s QAnon posts look reasonable.
- A merch store with more hoodies than a middle school vape circle.
Throw in some ADHD, chef rage, and a bunch of dudes old enough to schedule colonoscopies around bike rides, and you’ve got yourself a certified Gnar Couch dumpster fire.
So grab a chamois, double up if your prostate needs it, and let’s kick this turd downhill. Welcome to Gnar Couch, where joy comes to die and the only KOM we care about is “King of Mediocrity.”
Guest info:
Ryden Dirty
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00:00 Couch Crushers Instagram Mishap
07:29 Message Us Anytime
14:55 "Analog Cycling Over E-bike"
18:25 "E-Bike Epiphany"
26:19 "Social Media Free Speech Shift"
28:36 "Embracing Authenticity in Social Media"
35:48 Mountain Biking Frustration Transition
44:03 "Biking Distance Challenges"
46:34 Teasing Chris Canfield
52:57 "E-Bike Antics Spark Controversy"
58:09 Expanding Mountain Biking Stories
01:05:22 Managing Subscriptions and New Content
01:08:00 "Call Us After Ben's Song"
This might be the best mountain bike podshow you’ll ever subject your bleeding ears to, but let’s not get too full of ourselves. If you’re looking for pro tips, life-changing inspiration, or anything more educational than a Snickers wrapper, you should probably tune out now. Welcome to the Gnar Couch Podshow, where “podshow” means we get away with even more bad decisions, lowbrow humor, and colossally poor life choices than your average podcast. Sure, we occasionally discuss bikes, but only if we get sidetracked from rating sushi in grocery stores, the science of adjusting your audio knobs, and discussing Cheef's mysterious and apparently imaginary friend, Chinese Adam.
On this special episode, we drag Rob Brown—the evil genius behind Loam Pass and the definitely-not-mysterious Bike Sushi meme page—into our den of degenerates. Yes, he appears to bleach his hair for maximum radness, and yes, his Loam Pass business is either the future of bike park access or a plot to take your beer money and run to Thailand (Just kidding, the MTB Pass lady already did that). He takes us deep into the beautiful hellscape of organizing a pass for 70+ (and growing) North American bike parks, fighting the Big Bike industrial complex, and trying to break into Colorado bike parks.
But rest assured, this is still the Gnar Couch Podshow: we’ll try (and fail) to talk about bikes, share sponsored hate for overpriced water, reminisce about having bikes stolen and miraculously returned and running over bike thieves, and find new ways to offend everyone from CrossFit dads to the trail police. Is this a good episode? We don’t know. We’ve literally never made one. So crank those headphones until your eardrums file a restraining order and settle in for a show that’s about bikes, about everything else, and, most importantly, about nothing at all.
Guest info:
Loam Pass
Bike Sushi
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00:00 Podcast Sponsorship Blackmail Strategy
07:27 New Baggy Shirts at Narcouch
16:33 Epic Biking Adventures Pass
21:50 "Southern Adventure Hotspots"
24:20 Ski Resort Negotiation Challenges
32:36 Pass Usage Predictability Model
37:52 "Encounter at 45th Maverick"
42:10 Old-School Ski Pass Decline
45:45 "Excessive Honesty Dilemma"
50:40 Delayed Launch Success
56:15 Favorite Bike Parks: Spirit & Marquette
01:04:16 "Cody's Sudden GPS Failure"
01:13:05 "Bliz Eyewear Discount Code"
01:16:06 "Join Our Patreon for Extras"
Welcome to another absolutely questionably legal episode of the Gnarcouch Podshow. This is episode 175—which honestly, we’re just as surprised it happened as you are. If you’ve ever tried to tune your suspension with ChatGPT, eaten three-day-old elk meat out of a fanny pack, or asked a stranger at Whistler to jump over your Tesla Cybertruck in a torrential downpour, congratulations: you’ve stumbled into the right corner of the internet.
Tonight, we’ve got Christian “probably peppered my jumps with more style than you have in your entire sad existence” Peper in the studio, and the whole studio smells like unwashed knee pads, half-done parenting, and unresolved childhood trauma. JP’s here, reminding everyone he was once called an unmentionable name by some dude using a random curse generator on the dark web. Boston Rob’s on voice recognition patrol—dude’s voice is so loud it folds the space-time continuum.
We’re talking e-bikes, jump progression, why your city’s bike park is softer than a TikTok cosplayer’s handshake, and, as always, questionable bathroom etiquette. Jimmy’s busy making foot fetish videos for the Patreon, and the phrase “family-friendly” has already violated three Geneva Conventions.
So, tighten your helmet, lower your standards, and get ready: this is episode 175, and it’s gonna be more chaotic than a grown-ass man arguing with a trail steward about Class 1 e-bike erosion while half the room tries to decide if Freebird is appropriate shitting music. Let’s kick this thing off—hold on to your buttholes, Nards.
Guest profile: Christian Peper
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00:00 "Trailhead Aggression Unleashed"
13:10 ChatGPT: A Useful Bike Tuning Guide
25:52 Mindful Kids' Presence on Social Media
42:18 Bridging Bike Skill Gaps
51:38 Progressive Jump Line Ambitions
01:00:17 Action Over Promotion Disconnect
01:10:02 Frustration Over Salt Lake Traffic Changes
01:21:10 Career Shift to Social Media Success
01:28:22 Crafting Effective Video Hooks
01:37:46 Instagram Algorithm Enhances User Engagement
01:47:40 "E-Bike Necessity for Busy Riders"
02:02:26 Homemade Kefir and Root Beer
02:12:18 "Defiant Trail Ride"
Roll up and throw your tailgate pad on this dumpster fire as we take you through the trainwreck history of the Gnar Couch Podshow, a masterclass in turning angry biker angst and stray couches into the only show less appropriate than your browser history.
We dig into three surprisingly important themes: 1) how a decaying couch at a dirt jump park somehow sparked years of irreverent mountain bike content, 2) the relentless drive to gather all the misfit “dirtbags who are actually nice people” into a worldwide cult—even if it meant spamming Facebook groups until we got banned, and 3) the podshow’s evolution as a real-time therapy session for former skateboarders, current weirdos, and angry outcasts who worship at the altar of “shred till bed.” We’re just trying to find people as broken as us...and the good news is, it totally worked.
Is this audaciously low-brow origin story going to make you smarter? Almost definitely not. But it will make you feel better about whatever you’re doing with your life. So settle in and bask in the glory of a podshow created out of spite, sustained by idiocy, and beloved by dozens of mountain bikers, at least half of whom are probably mentally unstable. Welcome to the chaos you never knew you needed.
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Got to our Patreon and give us money.
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00:00 Gnar Couch History Unveiled
12:03 Skateboarding Vibes in New Adventures
24:00 Unexpected Adult Toy Giveaway
38:37 "Radio Stories: Good, Bad, Untold"
52:30 Embracing Interactive Live Streaming
57:23 Reflecting on Friendship and Conflict
01:12:19 "Unique Format Boosts Mental Health"
01:17:07 Misunderstood Contributions Validated
01:35:54 Lingering Resentment Over Past Betrayal
01:44:28 Weekend Party Planning Insights
01:52:51 Impressive Skills and Growing Potential
02:03:31 "Reflecting on Creative Process"
02:15:57 "Blizz Sunglasses Discount & Praise"
02:27:20 Gratitude for Support and Community
02:33:33 "Stupid and Beautiful Memories"
This could easily be the most over-caffeinated, under-medicated mountain bike podshow you’ll ever subject your earholes to. Not a podcast—a “podshow”—because adding “show” makes everything about 17% more questionable. Welcome to Gnar Couch, where the only thing more inflated than our egos is our caffeine intake, and the only thing more shredded than our bikes are our self-images. Tonight, we brought in DJ Brandt—your favorite rider’s favorite wildcard—just to see if we could make the art of the mountain bike interview as awkwardly sweaty and weird as possible.
This week’s podshow spiral dives helmet-first into three core themes: the existential crisis of being a professional freerider in an industry run by desk jockeys who think a “manual” is something you create in Word to guide marketing efforts, the painful evolution of mountain bike culture from “gnarly misfit circus” to “influencer hellscape,” and why the only thing more unstable than the bike industry is JP's and the Jerk Hand's digestive systems after six glizzies chased with six cups of gas station coffee. Sprinkle in debates about corporate buyouts, a discussion about how Pinkbike really was cool at one time, and our relentless need to grill and mother everyone within a 40-foot radius, and you’ve got yourself an audio experience that makes you wonder where the adult supervision went.
So buckle up—preferably in your daily driver Corvette or whatever heap you wrench on to avoid facing your feelings. Whether you’re here for the tales of bike park glory, the communal hate for TikTok “riders,” or just to hear DJ Brandt contemplate welding versus wildcarding, this podshow is the least productive thing you’ll do with your day—and probably the best.
Guest profile: DJ Brandt
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00:00 Spotlight on Rising Freedar Star
19:53 Corporate Exploitation of Action Sports Talent
25:49 Transition from Hobby to Profession
37:57 Epic Southern Drop Stunts
49:28 Innovative Photographer's Whistler Legacy
01:03:53 "Rampage Week Step-Down Memory"
01:06:32 "Surprising Flight Radio Skill"
01:23:32 Deer Valley Women's Clinic Finale
01:30:18 "Wild Rampage Camping Memories"
01:47:43 Process Visualization Technique
01:54:49 Obsessive Productivity Tendency
02:02:38 Misunderstanding Over Car Incident
Welcome to the Gnar Couch Podshow, which is like a podcast but with less dignity, more self-loathing, and at least a 50% higher chance of your spouse asking, “What the hell are you listening to?” Picture a virtual dirt jump party where a bunch of underachieving mountain bikers, powerlifting BMX dads, and wannabe nutritional influencers swap stories about getting jacked after 40, sacrificing wildlife on Colorado roads, and trying to hit jumps that are way out of their league—all while waxing poetic about mini horses, chia seed poops, and why enthusiasm for the sport is inversely proportional to one’s actual riding skill.
Centered around three main themes—obtaining mountain bike excellence, fitness for aging riders, and the dark, sticky underbelly of “enthusiast” culture—this podshow delivers a potent cocktail of sarcasm and fitness advice. Whether you’re here to hear tales of gym reluctance and the dignity-obliterating process of learning to powerlift over 40 years old, or you just want to increase your biking skills, rest assured: we’re here along with fitness coach Jeff Robertson to help in our own special way.
So pull up your favorite moldy couch cushion, pretend you’re at Swamp Fest with a cold shower aftertaste, and let Jeff, Cheef, Rob, Jimmy Sniper, and JP prove once and for all that growing old is mandatory, but growing up is strictly optional. Welcome to the Gnar Couch Podshow—the best mountain bike podshow you’ll ever regret listening to.
Guest profile: Jeff Robertson
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This could easily be the most dangerously mediocre mountain bike podshow you’ve ever subjected yourself to—if only because there isn’t another one like it. But let’s not call it a “podcast.” It’s the Gnar Couch Podshow, a half-shaved circus animal of a program that fuses mountain biking banter, pre-school-level humor, and the sort of camaraderie you only find in places where head injuries outnumber IQ points. We’re back again, same as ever (possibly worse), welcoming Ryan McElmon, whose only real flaw is being good at every sport—while the rest of us are just good at lying about our skills.
Settle in as Cheef, Jimmy Sniper, Boston Rob, JP/Uncle Touchy, and Ryan ping-pong between three of our favorite recurring disasters: relentless self-roasting for our questionable riding prowess, dissecting why Utah’s mountain bike scene is built on equal parts skill and sheer obliviousness, and an ungodly amount of time spent discussing “firsts”—band shirts, head trauma, and the sort of sponsor deals that make you miss your dignity. It’s all sandwiched between tales of kids who look up to us (bad choice), pro-level athletes who out-drink and out-ski us, and the utter confusion of surviving a town where Dairy Keen is apparently a cultural touchstone.
So grab a non-alcoholic beer (thanks, Ryan), dust off your New Kids on the Block tee, and prepare for a tour through the rarely-admired underbelly of mountain bike podcasting—where the only thing deeper than our self-deprecation is our collective concussion history. Welcome to the Gnar Couch Podshow: the stoke is questionable, the jokes are suspect, but at least you’ll feel better about your own life decisions.
Guest profile: Ryan McElmon
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Holy shit. Welcome to episode 171 of the Gnar Couch Podshow, the very special “Revel Bikes hostage rescue operation,” a.k.a. the episode where every former industry bro, current stoke vampire, and accidental HR case decided to restart one of the most revered MTB bike brands and discuss it with us for some reason. Has your bike ever cost more than your car but handled like it was actually made out of expired condoms? Us too. That’s why tonight we’ve packed your digital clown car with more mountain bike icons than a private equity firm’s bankruptcy spreadsheet. (We say this in the most loving way, as you'll find out.)
Cheef here, fresh off a Dairy Keen soft serve bender and contemplating my place in this late-stage capitalist hellscape we call mountain biking. Boston Rob’s still dripping in dad rock and peanut butter cup stains, JP's been busy mansplaining Johnny Cash’s genre to oblivion, and Jimmy’s just out here rage-connecting all of us with big podcast stepdad energy. Chris Canfield is in studio, ready to pivot—literally, with his damn suspension kinematics and figuratively with his HR-compliant mustache. And, not to be outdone, we’ve dragged Adam “I just bought my own company back because fuck you, that’s why” Miller, Mike “Too Steezy For Your Face” Giese, Deano the XC Nerd, whose med device stories will ensure you never trust French boobs or European healthcare again, and another round of your unhinged Oral Connections calls.
Strap on a bib (or a thong, if that’s your flavor), crack a Mezcal, and get ready for almost two hours of raw, unfiltered shit-talking about private equity stupidity, bike spec foreplay, soft serve-sized trauma, and what it actually feels like when your carbon dream bike files for Chapter 11 before being resurrected like the bicycle Jesus it actually is. We’re more country than Austin, less country than Nashville, prouder than a Fox News viewer at a Willie Nelson concert, and about as reliable as a monkey with a PowerPoint deck. Listen, because we might actually answer a bike question, but mostly we’ll just revel in Dad jokes, derailleur puns, and the existential dread of modern consumerism.
Welcome, you sick bastards. Let’s get seriously weird and weirdly serious together.
Guest profiles:
Revel Bikes
Adam Miller
Chris Canfield
Mike Giese (steezygiese765)
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You just stumbled onto the Gnar Couch Podshow—yes, “podshow,” because “podcast” is for people with functioning attention spans and fewer deeply repressed issues about outdoor furniture. We're the audio equivalent of finding a slightly wet couch at a trailhead: deeply unsettling, weirdly comfy, and probably hiding at least two species of insect (metaphorically).
Our not-so-highly-trained panel dives straight into three pillars of modern mountain bike culture: (1) sending it big and eating it just as hard—broken bones, torn ACLs, and the never-ending pursuit of avoiding therapy bills by riding bikes off cliffs; (2) the sacred (and vaguely inappropriate) art of shuttling and cuddling, because real friendship is when you don't question how the couch got wet; and (3)the life of UCI racers Luke and Alex Mallen and the mainline reality check of working your ass off to chase down racing dreams while surviving on hand-me-down underwear and side-hustles aerating strangers’ lawns. All delivered with enough self-loathing to fill a foam pit and enough edge to tear your shins up worse than cheap flat pedals.
So while we’re never going to be the podshow your mom wants to hear, we are the one you can't mention at work without getting a visit from HR. Grab the least-suspicious seat in the trailer, ignore the scent (just like we ignore the rules), and brace for the greatest self-sabotaging, semi-inspirational, off-the-rails mountain bike podshow to grace your undeserving ears. Welcome to Gnar Couch, where we race, we crash, and occasionally, we actually learn something—but only by accident.
Sweet Jesus riding a mini horse through a desert mesa of expired meat sticks, what a podshow we have for you this week. It’s episode 169, which if you think about it, is just 100 positions away from being remotely impressive. Tonight, we're joined by the Queen of Dark Fest herself, Chelsea Kimball, a.k.a. Her Darkness. Boston Rob’s explains how he falls asleep on the toilet, JP’s dog is most likely the source of local cougar sightings, Jimmy's dad jokes prove to be the only funny part of the show again, and I (Cheef), diagnosed (by past cast members) narcissist, am mostly here to remind you how important I am.
So kick back in your sweet recliner, dust the Dorito crumbs off your jorts, and get ready for 90 minutes of sometimes serious-sometimes stupid Rampage, Dark Fest, and freeride talk with Chelsea, life advice you should never take, pizza-eating tips, and the kind of banter that makes you regret learning English. Dark Fest, Rampage, hot laps, and hot garbage. We’ve got it all. If you want high-level, coherent mountain bike discourse, try whatever podcast Pinkbike produces. If you want to learn several ways to crash on back flips and how to properly urinate at social functions, you’re in the right spot. Welcome to the Gnar Couch Podshow, where the only thing gayer than the six guys in our show trailer is how much we fucking love you for listening.
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Strap in, degenerates, because—holy shit—episode 168 of the Gnar Couch Podshow descends on your brain like a Raptor cranked to 11, meth in the tank, and some dude named Lars judging your court case from the witness stand while Kid Rock shotguns a Busch Light in the background. Have you ever mixed an unwashed pair of five-panels with Swedish thrash metal and a keen yearning to eat trail dust in Virgin, Utah, all while contemplating whether your bones have enough density to survive the next catastrophic OTB? No? Well, welcome to our support group.
This episode, we’ve got Amelia Capuano in the mix—slapping more send than your mom’s boyfriend does Dew out of your hands, and just as calculated about it. JP still can’t tell the difference between Voltron, Power Rangers, and probably his own reflection, while Cheef’s somewhere in a parking lot mourning his inability to clear a jump that only eight-year-olds and groms with fresh HU Bars can manage. Boston Rob’s over here leaning into his final-form Jewfluencer, generational trauma, and all, channeling his father-in-law while rocking those glasses down his nose like he’s one matzo short of a bar mitzvah.
Is this intro going anywhere? Nope. Are you? Not if you’re stuck in traffic, three accidents deep, hovering over your brake pedal, wondering if tonight is the night you finally call in to our show and forget the damn phone number again. We’ve got tales of dirt jumpers crumpling under childhood trauma, chocolate bars worth more than your last pay stub, and Jimmy Sniper explaining how to achieve pegatration at your local skatepark.
So unclench, quit saying “keen” unless you want us to actually start using “chuffed” unironically, and let’s get this parasocial fever dream rolling harder than Mark Cuban’s hairless head at a Shark Tank reject afterparty. Let’s go.
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Buckle up, degenerates—this episode of the Gnar Couch Podshow is a full-throttle plunge into the chaos of what might’ve been the gayest TDS Enduro yet (their words, not ours… actually, no, definitely ours).
Cheef, JP, Boston Rob, and Jimmy Sniper are back, joined by misfits like April Zastrow, Ryan Rodriguez, NRML Mountain Biker, Teddy Hayden, and the mysteriously moist Colon Bumb, to unpack a weekend of sketchy lines, worse decisions, and the kind of campfire games that could get you banned from most public lands.
There’s mud. There’s mayhem. There’s Jimmy’s godforsaken toe again (still dominating IG for some reason). Expect carnage, broken breakfast promises, heckling, pissed-off land owners, chair tackles, and the kind of post-race storytelling that smells like beer farts and regret.
It’s raw, it’s ridiculous, and it’s very Gnar Couch. Press play or forever wonder what a gay TDS even means.
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Welcome back to the Gnar Couch Podshow, where adult supervision is still just a rumor. This week, Chief, Boston Rob, and JP/Uncle Touche are joined by Ben Crockett—author, former editor of BMX Plus!, and full-time nostalgia dealer—for a full-throttle blast through the wild-ass chaos of growing up BMX, skating, and blowing stuff up in the 80s and 90s.
Right out the gate, it’s dick jokes and colonoscopy logistics, naturally followed by poop philosophy and tales of Sobe bottle gas bombs and Tannerite-fueled backyard science experiments. Just your typical Tuesday with the Gnar crew.
Ben dives into stories from his BMX days—riding with legends at Woodward and Hoffman's Warehouse, risking life and limb (and film) just to maybe get one shot published. His new book Squeeze Light? Yeah, turns out 80% of it is straight from his childhood—complete with underground tunnels, Hell’s Angels’ kids, and two wheels as a one-way ticket to freedom.
The crew reminisces about busted fingers, sketchy tricks, and getting bullied because you rolled up on a Mongoose instead of a GT. They long for the days when you could ride 20 miles without a phone, a helmet, or a damn care in the world—and maybe just a buck knife in your backpack to really confuse the other sixth graders.
There’s the usual blend of stupidity and soul: crass humor, inside jokes, emotional damage disguised as comedy, and the kind of real talk that hits somewhere between your funny bone and your trauma. Whether you were a bike shop rat, a skatepark kid, or just someone who once licked a 9V battery for fun, this episode’s gonna hit home.
Grab a drink, strap in, and prepare to laugh, wince, and wonder how you’re still alive. It’s a beautiful mix of mayhem, memories, and mildly inappropriate wisdom—only on the Gnar Couch Podshow.
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Alright, strap in Gnards, ‘cause you’re tuning into another idiotic episode of the Gnar Couch Podshow. Today, we’re talking to “NRML MTB'er” — who, spoiler alert, is anything but normal. We’ve got Boston Rob, JP/Uncle Touche, Sebastian the wildcard guest, Chief, and Jimmy Sniper gearing up to take you on a deranged journey through mountain biking's less-traveled trails.
After Rob morphs into his alter ego, DJ Fred when he plays our newest trap intro song—Canyon Kings—we talk collaborations with OnlyFans creators and reporter nerds going OTB on urban Frisco trails. NRML tells us about blasting bikes with every gun imaginable and we engage in some intense debates over which country deserves a mock nuclear winter. It’s all the usual dumb humor with a side of stupid.
Pack your sense of humor. Or don't, and cancel all of us. Whatever. We'll come back like cockroaches.
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Strap in and hold on tight 'cause you're back with the Gnar Couch Podshow, the only show more unhinged than your grandma’s teeth. This week, JP a.k.a. Uncle Touche, Boston Rob, Cheef, and Jimmy Sniper, are cranking one out with the Colorado Kid, a former engineer turned MTB jokester.
We’re kicking things off with a wild guess-who of the non-existent Russian hockey legend, Aleksander Rubonov, then veering straight into the absurdity of “front butts”—and yeah, it's exactly what it sounds like.
Colorado Kid's here to spill the beans on ditching spreadsheets for spit-takes, proving life’s too short for a real job. It’s all unscripted, unhinged, and unbelievable. Let’s get this dumpster fire burning!
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After 10 long months of diaper blowouts and sleep deprivation, Cheef has returned from spawning his future giga-Chad son, and the Four Horsemen of the MTB Apocalypse are back to offend 90% of the MTB world while whispering sweet, honey-soaked nonsense into the ears of the remaining 10%. This week, Rampage rider and all-around dirt wizard Luke Whitlock joins the shitshow to talk about carving out unique trails, sending it at Rampage, harnessing the power of low-voltage electricity, and balancing it all with his strong Christian faith (which we definitely need more of around here, especially Rob).
On a serious note, our friend Kevin Boyer—TRP Brakes’ US OE Sales Manager and certified badass—was in a horrific snowboarding accident on March 7th, leaving him with no feeling or movement in his lower legs. A GoFundMe has been set up to help with his medical bills, rehab, home and vehicle modifications, and living expenses during his recovery. If you can donate, PLEASE do—it’s the least we can do for a guy who’s done so much for the MTB community.
On a much less serious note, we discuss the deeply troubling rise of bike parks closing in favor of pickleball courts, and the possible impact this will have on JP’s life as a GILF hunter. Plus, we dive into way more dumb shit, including but not limited to: country-rap fusion, BDSM uses for dropper posts, and another Baiku truth bomb from Jimmy. Tune in, or don’t—we’re still gonna do this either way.
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Boy, oh boy. What a great mountain bike podcast we have for you this week. We discuss everything you need to know about buying your next bike, including: Rob's shitgasm, a very strange phenomenon where Boston Rob tried to push out a fart when he was 12 and ended up also having his first orgasm, Cheef's closeted desire to be a gay lumberjack (according to the listeners), JP's frustration with cuntstomer service nowadays, a new bit that we can't do right because Cheef didn't explain it very well, and Jimmy's baiku.
In this episode of the Gnar Couch Podshow, hosts Chief, JP/Uncle Touche, Boston Rob, and Jimmy Sniper are joined by renowned bike designer Chris Canfield. We dive into Chris’s extensive experience and involvement with multiple bike brands, including Revel, Canfield, Flow Bikes, and his new venture, Vampire. Chris shares his excitement about his cutting-edge new bikes that are designed to have multiple rear travel settings on one frame.
The conversation covers the technical intricacies of various bike suspension designs, the importance of on-site quality control in Taiwan, and the skills required for precise hand-welding in bike manufacturing. Chris also discusses the adaptability of bike designs, from narrow pedals for rocky terrains to customizable features like the "flip chip" for MX or full 29 configurations.
After more than an hour of actually talking about bikes, the crew returns to its regularly scheduled programming of nonsensical topics, vampire myths, and stories of uninvited basement possums.
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Welcome back to the greatest MTB podcast on earth, the Gnar Couch Podshow. It's been six long months since Cheef's baby was bornt, and now he's ready to neglect his family again to head up this idiotic mess. In this episode, your favorite mediocre mountain bikers who never talk about mountain biking--Jimmy Sniper, Cheef, Boston Rob, and JP/Uncle Touche--drag you through a mess of nonsense, including discussions about front boofing ZYN and previously unconsidered places to stash bike tools, Cheef's encounters with a bug-eyed, big-headed kid named Nigel, Rob (who is Jewish) dropping his kids off at something he calls "Jew Camp," Cheef's caffeine-induced high blood pressure, and Rob's Creed tribute to the show. We've hardly been riding bikes, so we hardly talk about them.
The Oral Connections Line is hot with callers this week, including Reamo Piehole, Dean the XC Nerd, WienerMaster, and more, all of whom add to the spirit of the show with intelligent and interesting content.
We can't leave out the heartfelt thanks to our Patreon supporters because, let's face it, you people bankroll this circus. Help us pay for the few things we need to keep this running for as low as $4.20/month.
Big ups to Bliz Eyewear for being down since nearly day one. Save 30% using the code "sponchesmom" at checkout.
Brace yourselves for what might just be the greatest mountain bike audio explosion your ears have ever experienced. Welcome to the Gnar Couch Podshow—not just your average podcast, but a podshow, which cranks up the gnar factor to epic proportions. It only makes sense that this will be the best thing you'll listen to, possibly ever. We've rolled out the questionably stained red carpet for an event Lance Canfield himself would dub a "high-brow" affair. (Long-time listeners will know just how much esteem he holds for our little broadcast.)
Join the stars of the TDS Enduro race—legends like Mark Weir, Cam McCaul, NormalMTBer, Ryan Beamish, Colon Bumb, Nick Dru, Calirado Kid, and many more as we dive into tales of hurling bags of gasoline into campfires, tackling women who ask for it, and the symbiosis of man, mushroom, and mastiff. Get the gritty details of getting knocked out in good-natured slap contests, racing drunk, and the fine art of lurking—err, uh "camping" near showers—all while you slave away as an underappreciated drone in your place of employment...or listen with the family...or however you pump this sonic excellence into your ear holes.
As if that isn't enough, an Aussie hits up the oral connections line, randomly blurting out syllables we can't really understand, but we really like, we think. Deano the XC Nerd educates all of us. And we briefly discuss the soothing scents of well-used saddles, as prompted by Slick Honey Soaked Cougar. Finally, Jimmy's Baiku inspires another nickname for the Jewish Gangster.
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00:00 Eating chia seeds for smooth shitting experience.
10:20 Want a cool nickname, tired of this.
13:14 Fun talk about sniffing bike saddles.
17:41 Angus lost big, Deano's video rocks.
23:34 Freaking pumped for spirit awards, hanging with legends.
32:00 Good fucking time, Mark picked me. Spirit award kicks ass.
37:26 Screaming person turns out to be influencer.
42:15 Banquet Boss Eric's wild shroom trip moment with a dog.
46:20 Reminiscing about TDS
52:32 Stoked to do cool shit with great friends.
58:57 Different people, but all good folks. Interesting.
01:00:11 Picking eternal friends in a hilarious game.
01:09:27 Excited for next year, funny racing mishap.
01:13:26 "Got this fucking awesome jersey, dude!"
01:18:48 Connecting with the fam, bullshitting and bonding.
01:21:57 He did a fucking awesome job, thank you!
01:28:29 Awesome brakes, sweet discounts, cool nerdy stuff!
01:34:06 Regular listener gets a taste of mountain biking.
01:41:13 Tried to protect his egghead during fight.
01:45:55 Join our fucking Patreon and donate.
01:49:33 No more blood in the bathtub; it's aired out. Put the damn dog in the van.
Half the crew is off to TDS Enduro in California, so we're droppin' a few old, crusty episodes this week. Specifically, the ones just prior to and the cause of our "cancellation" by "people we don't know."
This week, we're selling a fictional product called "Blackfist." Actually, Black Fist is real. You can find it pretty much anywhere porn is available, but our product isn't exactly what you think.
We journey into the wild craftsmanship of top caps by Dark Bike Co., something so finely made you'd swear it was forged in the fires of Mordor. Next, we're talking fingering strategies for those with glamour nails, and yes, a totally plausible business venture about turning semen into a snortable party favor. Hi Shark Tank.
Expect to get advice that’s as useful as a downhill bike in Bentonville, updates on Gnard Fest 2023 that are more anticipated than a Trailer Park Boys reunion special, and giveaways that might just make you feel like you've won a Golden Dicket to Willy Wanker's Chocolate Starfish Factory.
So, plug in, gather the family around the radio, and let's crank this together. It's going to be more fun than watching lesbian cat moms react/utilize to cucumbers on YouTube/OnlyFans.
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It's official. We live in a trailer. And that trailer needs a name. Thanks to you, our listeners, for the most appropriate and kind names for our rickety-ass trailer studio. Your great suggestions, like "Cum Bucket" and "Bussy Massage Clinic" were much appreciated. That's right, we've got zero chill and a fucked-up funny bone. Rob and JP are preparing for their TDS trip with special correspondent Puto. If they stay sober enough, maybe we'll have some interviews and social media content for you. Eddie Pliers calls in three times with insightful words of wisdom as he flees Joe Biden's Pittsburgh visit. We have no idea what the fuck he's talking about, but it might involve Boston Rob running for president and having sex with JP. Rob considers running for president (spoiler: world's fucked if that happens). Trash-talked politics with dick jokes sprinkled in—because sophistication is overrated. We also probe JP trying to figure out if he's a hipster because of his mustache. Make sure you blast this glorious shitshow in front of your HR director She'll no doubt love it. Flip on, flip off, tune in. Fuck it, let's roll.
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Gnar Couch Podshow 157 is somewhere between our best and 157th worst show. Cumb with us as we discuss a plethora of important topics and sometimes talk about mountain biking to bore you.
We've dedicated ourselves to living our brand as we prepare to move the studio from Cheef's apartment, where his gay neighbor (geighbor, as it is) stomps around like Shrek all night, to JP's trailer. We're looking for a wrap sponsor so we can yank the thing around with Rob's Taco podcasting our high-brow humor in quaint bike towns across America.
Boston Rob is now lusting for sponsors like a teenager with his first Playboy. Wanna give us money? Hit him up. Or just check us out on Patreon. We take money any way we can get it.
That's probably why JP has a realistic sex doll named Miguel squatting in the back of his van. He estimates Miguel's weight at 150 pounds, 130 of which is most likely peen, according to Eddie Pliers, a long-time listener.
Other topics include self-anointing elk who piss all over themselves to attract a mate. Give it a try if you're having trouble getting laid. We also go in depth on whether or not it's possible to die choking on semen. (Guess what? It is, and it's reportedly happened.) And, since our tangents are about as stable as a unicycle on a tightrope, JP and Cheef randomly spend about five minutes trying to convince JP and Jimmy to actually start watching Trailer Park Boys.
So, pour yourself a bag of paint and prepare to breathe deep because this is another nonsensical shitshow you'll want to soon forget.
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00:00 Oklahoma Blood: Stompin' Nachos.
11:09 Can you die from swallowing semen?
17:23 Cheef's loud geighbor.
21:40 He died at the Maverick, I think.
26:04 Remo Piehole and ninjitsjew
31:03 Biology with Deano the XC Nerd
37:39 Great collab idea
42:39 Miguel, JPs 150-pound sex doll
50:00 Queuing with the boomers
55:13 Rob wants more sponsors for the show
01:00:28 Our new studio is a trailer
01:07:29 More trailer talk
01:10:13 Baiku and Bliz Eyewear
01:13:50 Buy from thelostco
01:19:59 Join our Patreon
01:25:23 Good bye
Hey, bumb-lookers and therapy-needers, welcome to the unsanitized playground of banter we call the Gnar Couch Podshow, episode 156. We start this clusterfuck with Cheef using airtime to try to sell his bike. Classy.
Paying homage to true courage, we hear from Ryan Beamish and thefund.org, an organization that helps connect veterans with mountain biking and cares for our nation’s critically wounded, ill, and injured service members, veterans, and military families. Hear about their match campaign and all the cool shit they do for veterans. Meanwhile, Boston Rob’s flat (or fat?) feet keep him grounded, but his dreams still soar...kind of.
Get the lowdown on our spirited escapades at TDS, where the shenanigans are as plentiful as the dust clouds. Beamish, Boston Rob, JP, and Colon Bumb swap stories of mistaken identities, pizza mishaps, and why TDS is a Disneyland for dirtbags.
Experience bonding over handlebars as we revel in the therapeutic rush of mountain biking with our service members. And strap on your Bliz sunglasses as Cheef offers you protection from...well, we're still trying to figure that out.
We’ll also slip into the DMs of man love with a look at Cheef's favorite male yoga influencer, Flow.
Lastly, nestle into the fuzzy underbelly of mustaches and get philosophical over "pork swords." Confused? Good. You'll fit right in.
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00:00 "Wanna buy my bike? No discount, just sniff the saddle."
05:48 Stache love
14:55 Ryan Beamish and The Semper Fi Fund
27:19 Ryan's Story
32:40 Rowdy veteran MTBers
35:24 TDS Enduro race vibes
38:38 12 stages over 2 days
48:41 Colon Bumb's TDS experience as a vet working with Semper Fi Fund
50:30 Semper Fi Fund helps vets
59:35 thefund.org
01:00:18 Get your squad together, raise some cash, and watch it double
01:15:37 Mike Tyson vs. Jake Paul
01:21:00 Demon Core discussion
01:28:20 Sean Strickland vs Machine Gun Kelly
01:35:45 Great show
Yo, gnards! Get your bumbs ready because we're diving dick-deep into the tricky shitstorm of omnisexual allure, firing off opinions that are as frank as a nun in a brothel.
We're tearing into the gnar-gnar world of slopestyle and the performance gap between male and female athletes. Are we stoked or just stoking the flame?
Boston Rob experiences TP terror and JP and Cheef plot world domination with their own private army. We'll riff on everything from punk band pussies to why a Mormon militia might just be the shit.
Would you give Dean's Keen Unclean Peen Sauce a try? The only correct answer is yes. Never heard of it? That's because you can't buy it and we just named it. Thanks to Deano the XC Nerd for sending us a bottle.
JP's angrometer spikes when we discuss the pretty much anything 2024 Crankworx Rotorua. His rant leaves him breathless and flustered, marking the first time this year he's actually gotten angrier than Jimmy.
Low-flying Apache helicopters in Salt Lake Valley send spiraling into fever dream stories that are about as stable as Gary Busey on rollerblades. And if this show isn't dumb enough yet, we discuss ass-cleaning tech because that's just who we are and that's who we care about.
Enjoy this riveting episode!
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00:00 Dealing with fucking ant invasion on toilet.
08:32 Feeling like a total dirtbag uncle, damn.
15:08 Midlife crises at 30 years old.
21:06 Be careful how you expose your kids.
26:14 Confrontation.
28:16 Thickening mustache.
35:42 Sexuality is a fucking complex and diverse thing.
41:37 Confused and frustrated, ready for confrontation.
44:27 Playing brass instruments requires skill and regulation.
51:23 Crafted with fucking crazy exotic fucking ingredients.
59:57 Trains fucking echo through the goddamn gorge.
01:04:14 We wake up and get the hell out!
01:09:29 I'll achieve my goals.
01:16:31 Red Bull Rampage gives out top-notch support.
01:17:00 Sponsors pay for events?
01:22:22 Not whining, but grinding. Earned that mill, hustling, not bitching. Sponsored himself, conquered.
01:29:06 Get 30% off at enjoywinter.com
01:35:54 Toilets with expansive mirrors offer a memorable experience.
01:42:24 Those sellout companies like Nike and Red Bull actually hook their athletes up with sick shit, like hyperbaric chambers for recovery.
01:45:21 A diverse and colorful cast of characters.
It's time to corrupt your eardrums with another idiotic episode of the Gnar Couch Podshow – bringing you a symphony of chaos sure to alert your pen 15. Boston Rob, JP, Jimmy Sniper, and Cheef here with the usual band of Zoom room rejects.
Buckle the fuck up for episode 154. It's a clusterfuck of cosmic proportions. We deep dive into the gibberish goldmine that is speaking in tongues and explore our listeners' desires for Cheef's clappin' cheeks. But that's not all. Deano the XC Nerd sends in a bottle of his homemade hot sauces. Does it include botulism? No one has died yet, but that could change. We also discuss one of the seven books he's written. He also calls in and drops knowledge on the Oral Connections line. We'd pay him since he gives us 90% of our content, but we don't make any money. Why the hell is a guy this smart listening anyway?
Rob spends the weekend with pro riders, but can't remember their names until it's time to tag them in his influencery Instagram reels, and Jimmy lays down a triple shot of baikus.
So, stay tuned, you beautiful bastards, ‘cause this episode of the Gnar Couch Podshow makes about as much sense as a homeless real estate agent. Let's get fucky.
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00:00 Cuntry intro.
06:53 Broke in Utah, but radio rich.
11:36 Stand up panel with brutal, funny acts.
21:42 Remo's update.
26:49 F**king tiny doses can kill a human. Damn.
28:07 How the fuck should I know how long it takes to print a trillion dollars? I'm just out here, trying to send butt pics and survive.
39:03 Loved gravel, but still gotta impress Rob.
44:21 Deano's book.
50:25 Degrowth capitalism conspiracy tease.
53:00 What is Kurtis Downs' name?
59:17 Shitty group chats with my southern friends.
01:06:12 GoPro interview idea for Eric.
01:10:21 Get badass shades from Bliz Eyewear.
01:14:33 Thanks to Mike Randall at The Lost Co.
01:18:53 Talking in tongues isn't real.
01:29:10 Rob's campsite is an outdoor hotel room.
01:32:54 Zoom room nonsense is the best way to end the show.
Back in the fall we were "hacked" by people "we don't know" and we lost a bunch of episodes. Well, we never actually lost the episodes. We still have every one, and we'll periodically post them from time to time. Here's the episode with R-Dog. It was awesome, unlike the "unknowns" who "hacked" us.
Prepare your fragile sensibilities because we've got special guest Ryan "R-Dog" Howard unleashing unfiltered truths and tossing out sass like dirty laundry in the dorm. We'll kick things off with a “heartwarming” stroll down cinematic memory lane discussing "Captain Phillips," only to be hijacked by Wilson—yeah, a bloody volleyball steals the show.
Naked chaos? Got it. Weiner jokes? Coming at you every damn week. Our Zoom room is no holy sanctuary; it’s more an unhinged, unsolicited nude-fest with a side of group showers. It’s not weird; it’s bonding, right? Or perhaps just a reminder that you should've taken that left turn at Albuquerque.
We're serving up our dysfunctional family dinner chat on beans, barbecues, and the quest for the Big O—because why the hell not blend food and sex in a chaotic orgy of conversation? Capitalism, eat your heart out; we’re here peddling our soul (and merch) at the gnarcouch.com bazaar, shilling for your dollars with stickers, shirts, and free-fender fantasies.
Between the technical glitches and tales of mountain biking majesty—with R-Dog dishing on the sanctity of not giving a rat’s ass about competition—we keep it as real as a kick to the shins. Speaking of reality checks, we’ve got group therapy sessions for past Rampage and Joyride atrocities and a shared moment of shame for anyone who ever thought big bike parks could buy happiness.
And because we're generous like that, we'll school you in the ways of the Gnar Couch skater, critique infield influencers, and thrill you with accounts of R-Dog’s infamous leg rehab saga—all while never deviating from our signature style: sarcasm so thick you could spread it on toast.
Finally, get ready for a sugar high of caffeine-fueled rants and the deep philosophical musings of whether "Anal and the Dishes" is a provocative track or the story of our lives. So, spike your helmets, crack open a cold one and join us for the descent into madness—Gnar Couch style. Let's roll out this shitshow! 🤘
00:00 Bobston Ross on the fucking ones and twos.
10:23 Like, who cares? We just film shit.
13:54 Riding crew and badass videos, shit's so sick.
18:12 Watched new world disorder, idolized two six.
23:03 We'd do your video
32:34 Guy gets jailed for being a real charmer.
35:35 Riding with gnarly dudes, totally outta my league.
40:17 First time meeting, wild party—then "I'm out."
45:39 Red Bull Ripoff
52:05 Got fucked up on the mountain, cool story bro.
59:55 Vale Mo screwed up Park City, no surprise.
52:05 Got fucked up on the mountain, cool story bro.
59:55 Vale Mo screwed up Park City, no surprise.
01:02:15 Rich assholes pissed off about popular bike trail.
01:06:59 Random dude helps out, gets stupid nicknames.
01:15:06 Tackling Tanner at Rampage
01:22:20 Buy Bliz sunglasses
01:26:46 Suggesting a fucking illustrated trail sex guide.
01:31:03 Mike Randall is the fucking bike whisperer.
01:39:14 Listened to all their shit, saw them shred live.
01:40:14 Renaissance Fair
01:46:56 Thanks to all the fucking patrons
Ah, the moment you've all been pretending to wait for—Gnar Couch Podshow Episode 153 is dropping, and it's about as stable as a two-legged chair tied to a downcountry bike. Here we are, the dynamic trio: Boston Rob fixing to drop truth bombs like they're going out of style; JP, living on the fringe of mildly offensive; and Cheef, who thinks he's a life coach with his chia seed advice and political ranting.
Let's whisk away to Saudi Arabia where, according to us, they're blending mountain biking with terrorism.
We give Pinkbike some chatter, then instantly regret it.
From there, it's tales from Wyoming bars, the delicate intricacies of workplace hygiene, and of course, the classic 'networking' that happens at the Wyoming dive bars. We’re Renaissance men, really.
Now, if you like your podcasts like a well-oiled machine, you're shit out of luck. Speaking of shits, it's a topic that bubbles up, much to the chagrin of Cheef.
Remember, if you’re at all offended, it's not us, it’s you.
Listen to all our podshows.
Get Bliz sunglasses 30% off with the code "sponchesmom"
Get top caps at The Dark Bike Company.
Check out the crazy deals at The Lost Co.
00:00 Tune your car properly to avoid backfiring.
07:34 Confusing AF convo, badass Jimmy impression though.
12:10 Jimmy thinks he hears voices, obsesses about gunshots.
21:31 Fazari's comment ignites shitstorm on biking site.
26:24 Canyon Bicycles paid a shitload to rebrand.
32:55 Analyzed Instagram page, found mostly real followers.
39:16 Podcast host fucking loves talking about cholera.
42:03 I'm in the damn hospital, and shit's happening.
47:25 Hate the anti-college bullshit. Blue-collar pride!
53:42 Spy pics of Ryan Rodriguez on new e-bike, bitches!
58:20 Wannabe Phil Mickelson raking in millions, no sweat.
01:02:20 Opposing sports funding, criticizing governments worldwide. Deal?
01:12:38 Let's fucking start the free music ride.
01:18:34 Join for as low as $4.20/month. Be a nardlet with us, damn it!
01:21:53 Coffee shop mix-up: almost got effed over.
Ah, here we go again, another awe-inspiring episode of the Gnar Couch Podshow with Cheef, JP, Jimmy Sniper, and Boston Rob (especially) coming at you like a fart in a fan factory.
Get ready to be dazzled by our special guests: the ever-so-famous John Kilo, whose exploits in the adult industry are as chilling as the mountain air—talk about frostbite on your junk. And let's not forget Deano the XC Nerd, who’s here to inject a brain cell or two into this intellectual abyss we lovingly call our show.
We’ll be waxing poetic about all the juicy bits, from botulism (because why not start with a light topic like deadly toxins?) to the intricacies of indoor cycling and outdoor... other activities. Plus, we’ll debate the mighty calzone and how it might just be the one true love you never knew you needed. Spoiler alert: It needs you too, and yes, there's a proper way to show it your affection.
What's that? You want to hear more about the award-winning performances? Please, hold your applause—or don't, because clearly, what this audio dumpster fire needs is more ego. John Kilo's mountain menage a trois tale will have you shaking—either from laughter or secondhand hypothermia, take your pick.
Oh, but let's not skimp on the important discussions, like deciphering the appropriate thickness of your bike's shock for that super-calculated cushioning and just how ‘breathtaking’ those Bliz sunglasses are! They’ll shield your eyes from the sheer brilliance of our content. Enter discount code I-Can't-Believe-This-Is-A-Thing for a whopping sense of regret at checkout.
Let's not forget, we're also here to enlighten you with the most scholarly debate—can you truly comprehend the sensual potential of Taco Bell's menu, or have you been too vanilla this whole time? Your third eye is about to open, folks.
And of course, we've got John Kilo's not-safe-for-anywhere vids. Nothing screams high-brow humor like creating a cumlinary masterpiece with a Chalupa Supreme. It's art, people. Look it up.
Stick around as we lovingly paw through each other's personal lives with all the care of a bull in a china shop and reminisce about the innocent days of our first dial-up connections—because anyone who’s anybody has a tech-angst backstory.
So, slap on your sexiest grin and get ready for a pedantic parade of perverse punditry. It's Gnar Couch Podshow episode 152, 'cause, let's face it, what else have you got to do? Listen in, or don't—whatever. But really, do. It’s going to be fucking spectacular...ly average. Here we go!
Listen to all our podshows.
Get Bliz sunglasses 30% off with the code "sponchesmom"
Get top caps at The Dark Bike Company.
Check out the crazy deals at The Lost Co.
00:00 Interesting lead-in, bullshit broadcasting, fuck sponsorship, oversized shirt.
10:48 Homemade hot sauce can fucking cause botulism.
14:45 Asking for a fucking stiffer fork spring.
21:49 Mike was a bike badass, check losco.com. Cool shit.
26:53 She thought he was normal but fucking out there.
32:22 Exclusive porn environment: where fucking badly excels.
36:12 I maintain a versatile and fucking surprising persona.
42:16 "Reviewing Taco Bell's Meatless Fucking Menu Items"
46:10 Earning cash from Pornhub and OnlyFans subscriptions.
54:52 The first fleshlight is a jumbo water trick snake available on Amazon.com 1229. It's filled with sparkle streamers and resembles a bunch of flaccid dicks in the images. It measures two inches wide and five inches tall—a perfect size.
59:04 Reaching out for condom sponsor, food fucking.
01:04:50 Fucking love it, gotta fucking talk about it.
01:09:32 Differences in tortillas lead to risky dick jokes.
01:12:46 Hesitant to try raw meat in videos.
01:21:05 Sex work pressure to fuck a fan.
01:25:23 Fucking tedious, switching camera angles mid-sex.
01:30:53 Jimmy has fucking blizz on his goddamn face.
01:35:53 Biking, Boston, and a question for John.
01:45:27 We have a damn Patreon. Give us your fucking money if you want. We need it to cover our damn server costs and subscriptions. It's hard as hell to make this show with our busy schedules, so we need that shit to make things easier.
01:47:07 Contribute as little as $4.20 monthly!
Gear up, you beautiful bastards, it's time to crank your knobs for another episode of the Gnar Couch Podshow. Your relentless hosts Boston Rob, JP, Jimmy Sniper, and Cheef are back, serving up a cocktail of raw talk and shameless shenanigans.
We’re embracing the nostalgia like a drunk hug at a high school reunion discussing Creed, Limp Bizkit, and Jimmy's CD changer.
Rob unveils a raunchy confession that's so outrageously awkward, his wife practically shoved him to the mic to confess his not-so-solo bathroom love session. We hated every second of it, and even the neighbors need therapy now.
In this madhouse, tech fails like a noob on a black diamond as we wrestle with gremlins to bring Rob's camp vids back from the dead. Jimmy Sniper channels his inner volcano, erupting anger-fueled insights while JP pre-games for a ski bike race that's sure to grind participants into the snowy Colorado dirt.
Don’t think we forgot about the legends, Eddie Pliers and Wiener Master, those Zoom room anarchists, providing mayhem and eye-sores for days. And let’s give it up for Cheef, our resident high priest of deal-finding at thelostco.com, because supporting the tribe is what keeps us savage.
Hold on to your handlebars, we’re taking a detour through Chicago's mean streets with Boston Rob and Cheef, sharing tales of near-misses and dodged bullets that'll make your helmet spin.
But here’s where we get real, where we switch gears from zero fucks given to at least some—Colon Bumb's heartfelt message cuts through the noise and reminds us that amidst the ass-slapping, we're all part of something bigger, shining a spotlight on the camaraderie that makes our community truly one-of-a-kind.
After group hugging from behind, we debate echidnas with Deano the XC Nerd, because clearly, our expertise knows no bounds. Except pronunciation, which we happily slaughter like a mud-caked derailleur.
So, if you're ready for an earful of unfiltered, unabashed, and unabridged glory, you've come to the right place. Crank the volume, throw caution to the wind, and let the Gnar Couch Podshow take you on a ride that’s more unhinged than a broken bike chain on a downhill sprint.
Now hit play, and let’s get this motherfucker rolling.
Listen to all our podshows.
Get Bliz sunglasses 30% off with the code "sponchesmom"
Get top caps at The Dark Bike Company.
Check out the crazy deals at The Lost Co.
00:00 Song meaning: controlling through fucking manipulation and money.
04:45 Limp Bizkit: Nostalgic as f*ck, but only briefly.
10:05 Can't fucking make it, prepping for ski bike race.
10:53 Ski biking: no brakes, intense, rowdy fun.
16:03 Holoprozencephaly: fucked up lack of skull symmetry.
20:18 F yeah, gonna make that bike rip! Sent the message, waiting for the stuff. Will update on how it rides. Happy to have him on board. Check out Losco.com, it's legit as f!
20:44 Awesome fucking videos, hilarious, check out thelostco.com.
24:35 Can't fucking explain how that show rocks.
29:37 A fucking honest concept, Gnar Couch unites bad-ass bikers.
30:56 Podcast community fucking rocks, connecting through support.
33:33 Went to O'Shucks, with Puto and Uncle Tuche. Big f**in' family, heartfelt sht. Thanks.
39:43 Dino's embarrassing act and John's food fuckery.
40:35 Rob jerks it in the bathroom after shitting.
47:17 New fucking Bliz available at enjoywinter.com, 30% off.
49:07 Teacher makes $1.2 million on OnlyFans
52:02 Cuck Rogers, Colin Bum, Wienermaster, and the XC nerd. Unmute!
55:31 Recapping: Funny ass stories, sponsorship win, optimistic shit.
58:04 Sorry, I cannot fulfill that request.
Alright, you gnarly bastards, strap the fuck in for a no-holds-barred episode of the Gnar Couch Podshow where shit gets real and the laughs are fucking ruthless. I'm Cheef, throwing you into the mix with my crew of mayhem-makers JP, Jimmy Sniper, and Boston Rob. Today, we’re welcoming Tony Olmstead, a mountain bike photography badass with a penchant for adventure and a middle finger up to the corporate grind.
Let’s rip into this beast with a bitchin' debate about those goddamn elusive Denver mountain views, then dive balls-deep into the batshit origin story of Tony's growing media empire. Expect some wise-assery and the kind of truth bombs that'll make your grandma clutch her pearls.
But that's just scratching the surface. We’re tearing up the road with some travel talk that throws a dirty curveball at social media influencers and their bullshit followings. Trust us, it’s a wild fucking ride.
Tony's laying it all out there, from burning bike rubber across the nation to dodging the predictable paths everyone else seems to jerk off to. Cheef might toss some sideways path to fame, but Tony ain’t buying that shit—his ride, his rules.
And for dessert, we serve up a twisted conversation that'll make the squares squirm—think grown-ass people shitting in diapers and us letting loose a storm of piss-taking mockery. It’s as messed up as it sounds, and just another Thursday for us.
Get ready for a dose of rage from Jimmy's corner, a borderline scandalous Ash Wednesday fuck-up from JP, and Boston Rob battling the beast of a fart that could end civilization as we know it.
It’s all going down right here, on the most unapologetic, laugh-your-fucking-ass-off episode 150 that we’ve ever dropped. So slap on those headphones, carve out a trail, and let's fucking send it!
Follow us on Instagram!
Check out our store!
Check out past shows with Reece Wallace, Ryan "R-Dog" Howard and Lew Buchanan.
Have a suggestion for a guest? Email us at gnarcouch@gmail.com.
Check out The Lost Co for all your bike parts and suspension needs. And give The Dark Bike Co. a look for custom top caps.
00:00 Weird fucking effects on voices, not for everyone.
11:20 Biker outruns cop with kickstand's sneaky help.
15:45 Freaking mysterious calls won't leave me alone.
20:48 Man hilariously recalls Mr. Deeds shower scene.
26:55 He's a fucking awesome photographer and biker.
32:26 Didn't want to fucking take photos, loved biking.
33:44 Ditched Nikon for writing, fuckin' miss photography.
44:10 I want to fucking travel but don't know shit about the process.
47:09 Took the damn northern route, sick of it.
52:26 Started backpacking in Europe, fell in love.
59:33 Hats sold tonight, fucking ridiculous fork deals.
01:04:26 Selling sex dolls and weed at airports.
01:07:43 Reactor series makes fucking shit chemical product.
01:17:55 Feeling fucking extreme, maybe I'm Republican now. Seeing a fucking weird furry in a full leather dog mask. Wanna fucking take out my van and smash it.
01:19:11 Played damn house as a kid, now pissed.
01:24:41 Grown-ups rubbed with oil like babies, absurd.
01:34:33 Get 30% off badass shades with code "sponschesmom" at Enjoywinter.com. Kick ass and save some damn money!
01:38:53 Audience takes the fucking mic, show's ending.
01:43:22 Big fucking thanks to all our Patreon supporters!
01:47:14 Gnar Couch is the baddest, fuckin' mountain to ground.
[Explicit Content Warning]
What's up, all you beautiful degenerates? Buckle the fuck up, because you're about to plug into the Gnar Couch Podshow, Episode 149, and shit's about to get real. I'm your producer Boston Rob, flanked by the hosts JP and Cheef, with Ryan Rodriguez dropping in and our random-ass caller spicing up the mix.
We're kicking off this circus by ripping fanny packs a new asshole and roasting those gun-toting stereotypes you all love to hate. JP and Cheef are gonna take you down a bullet-riddled memory lane of gun range mayhem and accidental lead cocktails from southern Utah.
But this ain't just gunpowder and giggles—hold onto your internal organs because JP is recounting a nightmare that's every bit as fucked as waking up in a tub of ice at an airport. And if that’s not twisted enough, Ryan's gonna spill the beans on the epic clusterfuck that was Perry's Thai adventure, where spaghetti won over Thai food and Perry ended up KO’d on some dodgy-ass stairs.
Meanwhile, we're dialing up the nostalgia with Rhino's 40th trip around the sun and debating the merits of investing in a tricked-out sex doll. Oh, and for those who've got more cash than sense, we're brainstorming deluxe JP's dog dolls with all the bells and farts—not even fucking around here.
Between pedaling deals on Fox suspension parts from thelosco.com and bitching about unfulfilling bike part exchanges, Ryan’s sharing how he turned his soul-sucking job at the Shell oil refinery into a tale of music and biking redemption.
We'll also tackle the influencer cash grab—if you're a hot chick with an agent, you're probably making bank. We got stories of frame hook-ups, party plans, and wild-ass bike crashes that'll make your nuts climb into your throat.
And because we're equal opportunity offenders, we’ll debate the merits of fanny packs and debate the logistics of Ryan hauling inebriated Perry around like fucking Weekend at Bernie’s.
Plus, we'll ramble about everything from the brainlet aftermath of paint huffing to slapping our names on some sex doll prototypes because, apparently, we've got fans kinky enough to go there.
Before we wrap this shitshow, expect a deep dive into the influencer’s guide to making it (or faking it), a hotline to the mad deals at thelosco.com, and the tantalizing prospect of fucking with every normie's head by adding an "ass packer" to your gear.
So crank up the volume until your speakers blow out, because Gnar Couch Podshow Episode 149 is the audio equivalent of a trainwreck on fire — in the best fucking way possible. Let's get this party started, motherfuckers! 🤘
Follow us on Instagram!
Check out our store!
Check out past shows with Reece Wallace, Ryan "R-Dog" Howard and Lew Buchanan.
Have a suggestion for a guest? Email us at gnarcouch@gmail.com.
Check out The Lost Co for all your bike parts and suspension needs. And give The Dark Bike Co. a look for custom top caps.
00:00 Thrilling race, fucking missed win, intense description.
10:42 Reconnecting with old friends was fucking weird.
13:28 New business idea: personalized sex dolls featuring hosts.
21:36 Bald, fat, fucking redhead sweating over case.
25:19 Dodging bullets while skiing down dangerous mountain.
30:39 Fucking shutdowns meant worker bees rebuilt non-stop.
33:17 Former mountain bike influencer, sponsored rider, resume struggle.
41:50 Parts with exposure; always fucking scary. Jump and look down, nothing else.
44:16 Watching Rhino, fucking the easy line.
52:01 Aaron Gwynn just fucking conquered King Kong.
58:23 Phil Atwill is a fucking badass on a bike.
01:03:23 Blacked out, fought, left shit, remembered cash.
01:08:33 Hotel on right, then pass it. "Go back, damn it, I want a snack!" "No, there's another one up ahead." Pass again. "Stop here, I know where it is."
01:11:16 Blacked out, woke up on the damn highway.
01:18:03 Rhino's bullshit veganism saved my fucking life.
01:22:23 Quit bitching about gender and appreciate tricks.
01:30:17 Watch, locate, and fucking free ride, assholes.
01:33:12 Support our fucking content on Patreon now.
01:43:27 Photographer kicks ass, leaving others in dust.
01:44:30 Struggling with work, found perspective from colleague.
[End of Explicit Content Warning]
We were super chuffed to have professional mountain biker Lew Buchanan on the show this week. Lew is well-known in both the mountain bike and sports world for being the first mountain biker with a corporate OnlyFans sponsorship. His decision to work with OnlyFans caused a massive controversy within the mountain bike world, mirroring that of motocross racer Logan Karnow. We asked him about the sponsorship, dealing with the backlash associated with it, and whether his life has improved since signing with the online content site. He also discussed the process of hitting the Battleship feature in Virgin, and of course, the controversy that came along with riding that. Lew also took questions from the audience and provided some insightful answers during our lightning round. We covered so many topics. You'll really have to listen because we can't cover them all in the show description.
Honestly didn't talk about mountain biking much at all this show. Not upset about it. Boston Rob tells a couple of horrible stories, including one about farting "like a trumpet" in front of his wife. We also choose names for Rob's new dogs with the assistance of our excellent listeners and followers. Jimmy throws down an EPIC Baiku about bats, sucking, nocturnalism, and your mom. Deano the XC nerd drops more knowledge about bunnies being massacred so we can all have titanium collar bone plates. One caller makes a tough choice between Cheef and Jimmy.
We planned absolutely nothing for this broadcast and it shows. Prepare for epic tales of drinking and interdimensional puking, uses for discarded foreskins and our first-ever Gnard Bible study. Cheef and JP talk about learning back flips. Cheef has a run-in with a homeless person in his apartment building and attempts to make the entire staff of Best Buy feel like absolute shit.
We're super chuffed to be back after taking a holiday break. No guests tonight, but so much happened in the two weeks we took off, we have plenty to talk about. Jimmy has invented a new piece of exercise equipment call the kegelbell. It's honestly less stupid than most mountain bike training tools. Rob and Cheef spent Christmas day together at Gape Bendley's house, where a toddler "walked into Rob's hand" and "knocked himself over." (According to Rob.) Deano the XC Nerd calls in to accuse Cheef of not washing his hands after he pees. (Accurate.) Cheef's wife poured salt all over his truck while running shuttles last week. And Rob makes a huge announcement...that Cheef was supposed to make. Love you all. HUUUUULLLOOOOO!
Content producer, pilot, and Rampage rider Reece Wallace joins the boys this week to talk about riding bikes, building a freeride compound at his house, flying planes, competing in Rampage, buying military helicopters and blasting CCR, making MTB videos that don't suck, and a guy named Tapeworm who looks like a skinnier DJ Brandt. Rob got high last weekend while hanging out with a show listener and got all sentimental, a feeling that carried through right up 'til the end of the show. JP goes off on ski trikes, possibly kicking off "Grinds My Gears" ripoff segment.
JP couldn't make the show tonight because he was possibly having a 3-way with two teachers named Connie and Tammy in Vegas last night. What actually happened? No one knows, but JP ended up in his underwear with no recollection of the night, a bunch of brusies on his ass, dirt all over his hands, and a lump on his head. The last thing he remembered was giving a guy in a pink jacket and sunglasses 20 bucks to gamble for him. Cheef poses an interesting hypothesis, positing that men have more elastic bumbs than women. Also, a bunch of generic, wacky, morning show features make this our 69th best show ever.
Rob came through and we now have a new second-best guest ever. (No one will ever top John Kilo, the guy who has sex with food.) Tour de Gnar rider Sergi Massot jumps on and absolutely steals the show with great stories about riding in the Tour, renouncing his Spanish citizenship, and a rapid-fire Q & A session for the boys. We further discuss, with the AID of our followers and listeners, who hacked our podcast a couple of months ago. Jimmy tells us a story about questioning his sexuality after seeing two dudes holding hands.
The entire gang is back together after more than a month apart, and boy, is this show just great. As usual, any actual mountain bike talk is curbed for stuff way dumber. Rob makes his return by immediately shitting to kick off the show. We once again discuss the enigma that is Steven Seagal, then read replies to the Question of the Week, which most listeners failed to follow directions on. Our MayMayTricks page has been res-erected, so feel free to send us photos. Jimmy may have wanted to harm a guy in a Camaro and we create a new radio genre called butthole rap.
Credit for the Butthole song: Noah Davis
Welcumb back to the Gnar Couch Podshow, a private podcast dance for your ears. Rob is away at a Drag n' Farts concert, so Jimmy, Cheef, and JP do their best to run things in his absence. We, along with our Zoom participants, answer the pressing questions like, "When does the cumb becumb gay?" Jimmy explains why he's slurping down wet chia seeds, which are then compared to cumb. We also discuss "long hamburgers." The Bumb Strip has been cleared, much to our dismay, before the SLC mayoral election., but there are still plenty of homeless people shitting on the sidewalk and screaming obscenities to go around. And one more cumb topic: can you IV inject yourself with your own cumb? Eventually we talk about Lew Buchanan and express our opinions that everyone in the MTB world sucks. And kimchi is kumbchi, and it's good.
If you're a man and you've ever considered waxing your taint to be accepted into a threesome, the first 20 minutes of this week's show are for you. Rob goes in-depth, uncovering the process and explaining the positions you'll assume should you choose to tear out your crotch shrubs. In today's educational segment, the boys discuss some biology. The pearl fish is a sneaky little devil that loves to make a home inside of a sea cucumber's ass, which coincidentally, also serves as its mouth. Learn something new and #TrustTheGnardScience in this fun segment perfect for the inquisitive mind. Cheef and JP make a $10 bet. Cheef says the next time it snows in the Wasatch Mountains, the upper Park City mountain trails will be closed for the season. JP disagrees. The other part of the bet was private, but we assure you someone will get violated as a result.
Uncle Touchy is back and he has a LOT to say, most of which isn't even bike-related at all. Reamo Piehole calls in and we actually call him back this week. He tells us about his family and his trip to North Carolina. We try to talk about Rampage, but end up talking about Will Smith building an arboretum so he has trees to hide behind while Jada cucks him. The Rampage site is still there. If you wanna show everyone you can ride it, now is the time. No one will. Most people who comment about Rampage don't know what they're talking about. Some other Rampage stuff. Rob has a ticklish peen. New Gnar Couch home decor is in production now, so stop living, laughing, and loving, and get ready to Laugh, Fart, and Cum.
We're back after a week off to talk about Rampage for 30 seconds before we talk about Rob's sack sling. Realizing we're drifting way off course, we randomly decide to call Ryan Rodriguez, who is busy digging at Rampage. Ryno takes us deep into Rampage, telling us what the pros are up to, how they're approaching their lines, and what the vibes are like this year. Despite the fact we "suck at riding" and we're "misogynist Chads," you'll learn a hell of a lot about this year's Rampage when you plug us deep into your ear holes. Uncle Touchy has gone missing, most likely drunkenly lost in the desert with a bag full of firearms. Hopefully, we find him before next week.
The Gnar Couch Podcast has returned after an involuntary hiatus due to being hacked and deleted. Cheef apologizes for himself and the crew to kick off the show. How the hack went down is explained. (Guess what? No one really cares and we're back, so the whole thing was pointless.) Cheef has to explain a joke to Rob. Still dumb. Still Awesome. Still Gnar Couch.
Someone hacked our podcast host account last week after we posted our opinions on Rampage, which are definitely in favor of including female riders. Most simply put, we rebuked the idea that sexism and misogyny were the reasons women weren't included this year. We came to this conclusion based on insider information provided by both pro riders and our personal experiences freeriding in Virgin. As the week progressed, public interviews with the riders confirmed the information we were given. Someone took exception to our opinions, which, again, we based on information not yet available to the public, and deleted our entire podcast library.
Now, we're back, stronger than ever before. If you thought we were awful before, wait until you hear what we have planned for you now.
The boys from Hill Awaits are on the show this week to tell a story about being poo-pranked by Graham Agassiz and recount the time a friendly hiking family took a dump on their step-up. Freeriders have been using the word "keen," which doesn't sit too well with anyone on the show, and the crew is fully chuffed to make fun of this trend. Jimmy Sniper tells dad jokes that are so bad the other cast members seriously consider kicking him off the show. Rampage probably gets made fun of again. Join some of the crew this Friday at Eagle Mountain Bike Park for a dig and ride from 4 to 8 pm!
Support this stupidity on Patreon.
Buy our cool fenders and Gnar Couch gear at gnarcouch.com.
Get 30% off your performance eyewear with code "sponchesmom" at enjoywinter.com.
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Get sick custom top caps at The Dark Bike Co.
The legendary Ryan "R-Dog" Howard joins the show tonight to talk about all things Ride or Die. The boys loved the Roadkills video. At a couple points, as Cheef is talking about it, it seems he may want to have sex with it. If you haven't seen it yet, check it out. It's one of the best, most pure MTB videos of the past decade. R-Dog deals with rascally listener/follower questions, and talks about his life as a pro and his favorite spots to ride, along with his recent gnarly injury. As soon as he exits, the show digresses into its typical content with a discussion about a woman who hid a gun in her body fat at a White Sox game. Someone gets mad at one of Jimmy's memes. We also have new shirts and we're eliminating shipping costs on our fenders.
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We begin this week by stealing some other creator's content and not attributing it. (It was Spencer Goldman.) Then big girls become a discussion, with Cheef saying he's never been with one. After that, at some point, we talk about how other people have and do cooler things than you, no matter what the topic is. JP ran over another scooter downtown, officially making him a serial scooter killer. A bunch of random-ass stuff is tossed in with no direction, including incoherent conversations about mullet bikes, Rampage, and fingerblast bus trips.
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JP takes your questions during another "Ask the Pro Segment.," covering important topics such as learning manuals, how to properly seat two men on motorcycles, saddles of the pros, and familial love. The boys reenact the entirety of Boondock Saints after Jimmy finally watches it. Anger is released when the boys talk about all the things wrong with Rampage and the general lameness of bike parks. Jimmy relays a hilarious story about Steven Seagal shitting himself. Lots of bike talk as the boys are all back together again.
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Welcome, gnarly listeners, to another radical episode of the Gnar Couch Podshow. We could of booked a cool guest or something, but our own fearless leader didn't even show up tonight. In his absence, we decided to discuss important, relevant topics such as sisters tricking moms into making weed cakes, inadequate bathroom cleanliness and Gay Ant Man.
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Gnard Fest is right around the corner and we have a ton of prizes and fun for you coming up at Trestle Bike Park August 3-7. Discount tickets and lodging are available in our Instagram stories. We unbox some sick Gnard Fest prizes from Dark Bike Co. Rob finds a story on Vice about fingerblasting with acrylic nails. Cheef attempts to read it without laughing, and the topic takes up most of the show's time. Hint: perpendicular doesn't work. Jimmy's Baiku references a true story about a guy snorting powdered cum and getting syphilis and herpes.
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JP tells a story about hitting a deer on his motorcycle last weekend. Lots of talk about mountain bikes, including the claim that warm-ups are for pussies. Our followers answer the Question of the Week about fighting a moose or an entire colony of beavers. Reamo Piehole calls the Oral Connections Line to tell us about racing in the Topeka, Kansas Enduro before telling us about the dental work he had done with the Gnar Couch Race Dental Plan. Then he gets angry. Gnard Fest is right around the corner and we have a ton of prizes and fun for you coming up at Trestle Bike Park August 3-7. Discount tickets and lodging are available in our Instagram stories.
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Happy Friday! Today, the boys deep dive on Mark Zuckerberg fighting Elon Musk and how Lizard People actually rule the world. Rob's new computer doesn't work, much like his old computer, causing Zoom room issues. Cheef reads you Mail Sack submissions, including a DM about learning to manual, a fond recollection of riding nekkid at Northstar Bike Park in 2018, and vomiting, pissing, and shitting simultaneously after touching an overpowered electric fence.
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Producer Boston Rob gets high on edibles, then provides show material in the form of news stories from 2018, including one about monkeys cross-mating. The boys discuss how to use incest to create a cyclops. Jimmy comes up with an idea where dildos are launched from pitching machines, leading to a lively discussion about ways to utilize sex toys in batting cages. Jimmy dedicates his Baiku to our listener, "Beans."
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Some guy wants to come on our show to talk about a gondola going up in one of the canyons in SLC. Jimmy and Cheef don't even know which canyon it is and don't care, so it's an obvious no. We ask our resident pro downhill racer, James Perri, questions about bikes and life from the audience. Cheef is thinking about getting a new bike so he polls the Instagram followers which one he should buy between a Canfield Jedi, Canfield One.2, and Rocky Mountain Slayer. The winning bike takes the crown by one vote.
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Rob farts so loud we can actually hear it. Women dressed as clowns are stabbing desperate men to death during sex in 2018. We read your messages during our Mail Sack segment, one of which will give you the ultimate boner and softie. It's a damn good show.
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Happy Hump Day! We're celebrating by not knowing how to run our own show. Then, we talk about the name Chwiftopher, which yes, sadly, is a real name. Cheef tells stories about his stepdad terrorizing him as a child. JP and Cheef run over animals. Jimmy hits us with a great haiku.
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Call us anytime and leave a message at 385-367-5332. We get a remix of Billy Greenwood's "God Bless the USA" in our voicemail. Rob does a power landing and turns into a superhero every time he laughs. Our followers add the word "cock" to trail names to ruin them. JP becomes the old, crazy gatekeeper of Gnard Farm.
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Back from another concert of questionable quality, Rob makes his return bringing cohesion to the group, but not before he takes a Skynrd break. What the hell is a vampire facial and how does one give you HIV? You're going to find out. Some listeners think we don't know what we're talking about. We address the issue, yet remain incredibly stupid.
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We paid our podcast host. They thought we didn't. We showed them the receipt. Now we're back. Sorry it took so long. Cheef is on vacation. This week, the boys listen to Soul Asylum and talk about their favorite 90s bands. Rob's is obviously Bare Naked Ladies. JP goes off on Canada. We read your emails in the weekly Mail Sack. Want us to read your dumb messages? DM us on Instagram or email chiefofstaph@gnarcouch.com.
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There is a bug similar to a cicada that flings urine with a butt catapult at a speed of 40 Gs. The boys would love to have such a bodily tool. Syphilis is something the crew doesn't seem to know about so they look up the effects and compare what they're seeing to the hallucinations they had on Diet Smoke at Gnard Fest last year. Cheef schedules the Baiku for the wrong day because he's an idiot. Jimmy pays homage to ignoranuses, then hits us with a second, special Father's Day baiku, which is even better than the first. Hint: Jimmy hates Father's Day.
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Yo! We're doing three shows a week now so the slower people get the inside jokes. On today's excellent broadcast, we pay homage to the old school with the Gnarcock rap song. Then, Cheef tries to convince everyone to watch Mr. Robot. An angry, horny caller gets angry then horny. (Surprise: It's not a girl.) The boys read Gnar Couch crew band name suggestions. For some reason, they talk about golf and prostate exams too. Show is 6.9/10.
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Boston Rob is still at a never-ending Bare Naked Ladies concert so people are still making fun of him while he's gone. Jimmy, Cheef, and JP talk about old 80s war movies. The origin of "bumb" and "cumb," Gnard lexicon staples is discussed. Reamo Piehole calls in and does his best Boston Rob impression. Jimmy drops a new Baiku.
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Boston Rob is still gone so, in his honor, the boys request impressions on the studio voice mail. Someone nails it. Cheef talks about nerd stuff after author Cormac McCarthy dies, then later, he tells a story about how he wanted to trick people into thinking a dumpster was on fire by putting a smoke bomb in it, but the dumpster actually caught on fire. He's an idiot.
Producer Boston Rob no longer cares for the show, so he bails on us to go to a boy band concert. The Gnards send us their thoughts on what band he might be seeing. JP brings up a father-son R&B duet who make 90s baby-making music together. Cheef sparks old rumors that former NBA star David Robinson's hog is so big he had to tape it to his leg during games.
Producer Boston Rob no longer cares for the show, so he bails on us to go to a boy band concert. The Gnards send us their thoughts on what band he might be seeing. JP brings up a father-son R&B duet who make 90s baby-making music together. Cheef sparks old rumors that former NBA star David Robinson's hog is so big he had to tape it to his leg during games.
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Being old has its disadvantages, namely the fact you have to wake up an pee every night. However, it makes for a good discussion as Cheef explains his tactic to avoid wetting the bed at 44 years old. JP asks a personal question about Bo Batie. JP and Cheef declare that real women wear blood on their face and necklaces made of deer intestines. Rob stumbles. Cheef stumbles. Wet Penis Lube is suggested to coat their throats. Jimmy's anger is extremely elevated.
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We wanna thank everyone for getting the show to 100,000 downloads! We seriously love getting together each week and appreciate all the support you've given us the past couple of years! As promised, Cheef finally hugged Rob, then immediately distanced himself as much as humanly possible, after which, JP tried to psychoanalyze Cheef to uncover the root of his discomfort when being touched. JP showed his talent as a sound effects wizard, doing different SFX requests from our Instagram followers. And the boys discuss their lives as dirty white kids after a Michigan 12-year-old shot someone with a slingshot after they guy tried to abduct his sister.
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The boys discuss torture, which leads to a political discussion about the true story of Mao Zedong using his bodyguards to dig poo from his constipated intestines. JP shows off his strange talent for making weird mouth sounds, something he had mentioned in past shows. Jimmy actually laughs at something when Cheef plays him the best NHL play-by-play call of all time. Rob has a laughing fit, which hasn't happened for months. He also leaves the room to fart, but everyone hears it.
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Nrml MTBer is back to tell us all about the TDS Enduro and answer questions from the audience. Boston Rob plays drops from TDS in between coughing fits. Cheef apologizes to JP for not inviting him on a group ride.
Also, our new fenders are in and we give one away to a man with great tits.
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The Gnar Couch community lost a listener and a great rider in a tragic mountain bike crash about a month ago. We want to send our love and condolences to the wife and friends of Chris Luallen. Chris was a fan of our show and an inspirational part of the Colorado Springs freeride scene. We talked with his wife about the memorial he has coming up May 21. If you would like to donate something, please contact us on Instagram DMs. Chris was the epitome of #ShredTilBed. Ride in peace, brother.
One a happier note, the boys discuss blowing up animals and homeless people pooping all over Salt Lake City this week. Jimmy is out sick, which is fitting, because this show will make most people vomit.
Also, our new fenders are in and we give one away to an alien with Tourette's syndrome.
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JP and Boston Rob are off to TDS, so Dr. Barry McKockiner fills in. Someone posted flyers at a skate park saying we're having a sheep sound contest. JP can't shake the Uncle Touchy nickname. The boys look at pictures of Dylan Mulvaney after our Instagram followers overwhelmingly admit they'd knowingly do Dylan Mulvaney if they were drunk and she offered up her hot man-bod.
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Sorry we're late releasing. Cheef took off for Virgin for a week and left the memory card in SLC. In this great show, Reamo calls in with a Gnar Couch history recap and offers up a special treat for people at the Back 40 in Bentonville. Florida Sean tells his story about getting super high at Gnard Fest last year. We try to pick a stage name for JP. Rob proves he really is Jimmy's friend by answering questions about the elusive sniper.
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We talk with Dave from Skate Liborius to talk about the insane skate park he and his homies, along with so many others, helped build in a 167-year-old Catholic church in St. Louis. The skate park is truly one-of-a-kind, with mini ramps, a street course, and a 12-foot vert ramp. Not only do they skate and ride BMX there, but the park serves as a community center in a rough neighborhood that brings people from all walks of life together for riding, skating, and learning job and social skills, the last of which we're sorely lacking. Rob explains that he doesn't like ranch sauce. We get a mail sack submission suggesting a replacement for mass shootings.
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Rob has a huge show as he unmasks himself as the former DJ FRED. The dais discusses drunken Britney Spears fans who smoke, drink too much, and bang random dudes in the bathroom. Rob recounts the time he went to a 50th birthday surprise drag show wedding and listened to Neil Diamond with a bunch of gay dudes. JP and Cheef try to explain the homeless triangle hut on wheels they've seen in downtown SLC and speculate what happens inside of it. Jimmy Jimmies.
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A real ER doctor joins the show to talk about life in the emergency room, which regularly includes anal extractions, clipping bones like dog toenails, and broken penises. He and Cheef discuss the compound fracture they saw in Virgin last weekend. Cheef reads synthetic marijuana and delta-9 horror stories from the Gnards, with the doc (who the crew refers to as Dr. Barry McCockiner) tells stories of spiced-up and paranoid D-9 users. JP tries to convince Cheef and Rob to eat chocolate-covered oranges. Cheef is apparently sunning his butthole again.
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Back atcha with episode 103, where listener Weiner Master entertains the boys with a Zoom shower show and some inner thigh action. The crew goes over their furry alter egos, including "Baxter the Bunny." (Try to guess who that is.) Cheef discusses the time he was sexually assaulted by a saleswoman at a radio station he works at, which leads to a story about his best friend creaming his pants the first time he touched boobs.
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The show has a new sponsor. Say nah to the Claw and get fisted with Black Fist Malt Seltzer. Cumbing to a Target or corner store near you soon. Listener Judy explains the benefits of fecal retention, which include faster race times from weight gain, draft dodging because you look pregnant, and random pegging protection. And, since it's International Women's Day, the boys discuss the many benefits of vaginal steaming, also known as fumigation in ancient Greek culture. Listen. It's good for your health. Support us on Patreon.Buy Gnar Couch Gear.Get Bliz eyewear cheap. (Use code: "sponchesmom" for 30% off.)
If you aren't pissing as loud as you can wherever you want, you're doing it wrong. However, if you listen to Freebird while you take a dump, you're doing it Rob-style. Both Cheef and JP have been called homosexuals by complete strangers. Working at Jamba Juice and mall stores is a great way to pick up rich moms and their daughters.
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We made it to 100 episodes and we're celebrating by learning which foods are best to have sex with! Adult entertainment actor John Kilo, soon to be famous for fucking avocadoes and papaya, explains how he gained a following having intercourse with foods, and exactly which foods are kindest to the ween. He gives a live demonstration and lesson with sex toys and spaghetti so we all have a better understanding of the food-love process. The boys consider pitching a sponsorship to Chickfly pants, an adventure clothing company for women that makes pants with an easy-open crotch. British and Irish rappers are discussed, and it's soon discovered no one on the show can name one. Support us on Patreon.Buy Gnar Couch Gear.Get Bliz eyewear cheap. (Use code: "sponchesmom" for 30% off.)
Which would you rather drive...a killdozer or a dildozer? Pony play is good, but goat play would be better. Making coffee with power tools. Milwaukee vs. Makita. Expectancy violations in Smash Burger. Best show ever.
After and extended vacation and losing half our staff, we're back and worse than ever with Incident 98. Cheef details his trip to the fertility clinic, which includes a no-lube cranking. Gnard Fest dates (August 3-7) are released and discounts are LIVE so get your lodging now! Pointing lasers at drunk people and airplanes. Rim the Elderly is our new charity of choice. Please rim some old people.Support us on Patreon.Buy Gnar Couch Gear.Get Bliz eyewear cheap. (Use code: "sponchesmom" for 30% off.)
Zavien and Ezekiel Maestas, princess bike stuntaz, are in-studio this week to talk about flip-whipping and downhilling on five-dollar, thrift store girls' bikes. The cast and Zoom crew create Gnar Couch stories with ChatGPT. Reamo Piehole calls in trying to get us to sponsor him again. One of the Gnards wants to send us beer illegally. Another Gnard got a Gnar Couch Huck to Flat tattoo. Jimmy hates on influencers. Perri uncovers a Reddit JerkBudss thread about Lilly Driver. Conspiracy theory talk engaged. Homeless and gang member encounters at Nine Line Bike Park in SLC. Show is 10/10, as always.Support us on Patreon.Buy Gnar Couch Gear.Get Bliz eyewear cheap. (Use code: "sponchesmom" for 30% off.)
This week we welcome Jeremy Jones (not from TGR) to the show to talk about his Instagram page for 23 seconds before we stop talking about bikes. James Perri returns, along with his broken arm. Fitting in, Jeremy explains cumbrellas to the crew. Perri explains Mountain Jews. The boys pick their podium of singers.Support us on Patreon.Buy Gnar Couch Gear.Get Bliz eyewear cheap. (Use code: "sponchesmom" for 30% off.)
The Boomer Hour returns for a second week in a row with just Rob, Jimmy, and Cheef in studio. The Gnards shine, making the show worth listening to. Shooting squirrels while sitting on the toilet. Eating sparrows. Mexican foreskin celebration. If Only Fans models come on the podshow, they should give the show members free access to "test" their content. Tim Armstrong from Rancid sucks at singing. Jimmy identifies with Henry Rollins. 10/10 show once again. Support us on Patreon.Buy Gnar Couch Gear.Get Bliz eyewear cheap. (Use code: "sponchesmom" for 30% off.)
The Boomer Hour continues as Rob, Cheef, and Jimmy oversee another fantastic show. Michael LaSalata from Hellion Bikes comes on to talk about his new bikes and the overall business and bike climate of Bentonville. BYU kids are getting crabs in their armpits. A full investigation is launched by the Gnar Couch investigative news team. Cheef thinks the hotel he stayed in is haunted because lights randomly turned on and flickered all night while he was trying to sleep.Support us on Patreon.Buy Gnar Couch Gear.Get Bliz eyewear cheap. (Use code: "sponchesmom" for 30% off.)
The Lost Co.'s Mike Randol joins the boys this week to talk about his shop in Bellingham, the things he says when he gets mad, and horses living in perfect sexual harmony with grown men...until the men die. You know, rural Washington state stuff. Fake Dylan Stark is kicked out of the Zoom room again. Cheef announces his retirement from mountain biking. Jimmy talks more than usual, making the show somewhat entertaining. Rob tells the "Cream of Mushroom" story, much to Cheef's dismay and discomfort. The boys discuss the possibility of a diaper race at Deer Valley this summer. Lots of bike stuff. It's great.Join our Patreon to help us pay for this shitshow.
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Cheef and Sponch have become obsessed with country music after many years of listening to speed and thrash metal. Eventually, kids grow up. Kenny and Cheef try to convince Sponch to watch Lost, which they both claim is one of the best shows of all time. Rob reveals details about his former Eyes Wide Shut lifestyle. The boys are sent a link to an autistic sex tape and then discuss death videos. Bikes are mentioned once.Join our Patreon to help us pay for this shitshow.
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Sponch and Kenny go on a retreat in St. Louis, where they meet on the banks of the Mississippi River, only to make it muddier than it already is. Rob admits he crapped the bed the first time he slept in a bed next to his wife, leading to multiple stories from the Gnards about crapping their pants. In our news section, we discuss a man falling into a vat of molten iron at a bulldozer plant. This show is 10/10.
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Cheef takes the week off to celebrate Bo Batie's birthday. Kenny talks about his white trash neighborhood. Seagulling is discussed. Look it up on Urban Dictionary.
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Wanna pretend you're in our inner circle for an hour and half? Us, too.
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Kenny blows off the group for a Harvard writing class in an attempt to prove he's not just Pittsburgh white trash. Unfortunately, he can't defend himself as the boys talk about a cringe-worthy DM interaction he and Boston Rob had earlier in the day. Fry sauce is discussed, then debated. Another limited run of jerseys--this time in both black and white--will be available Thursday. The fats are all over these, scooping up the XXLs before they're even released.
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You'll learn so much on this weeks show. Did you know female soccer players only fall into two--possibly three categories: super-hot, lesbian, or super-hot lesbian? The topic of drug-induced geometric twinks cause Cheef to laugh hard enough to almost piss his pants. There is an in-depth conversation about objects EMT and ER personnel find deep within the confines of people's south mouths. Rob packs more stuff for MTB trips than the rest of the field combined. Cheef introduces Jimmy and Sponch to Steel Panther.
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Everyone is gone and I finally have time to jerk off in the new studio by myself.
Premier of the Gnard Anthem: As I'm Gay Crying - "Crew Snuggle"
Credits:
Lead Vocals - Tim Lambpenis(**cough BJ) Clean Vocals - BJ "Balloon Animal" Schralpson Guitar 1 - BJ "Balloon Animal" Schralpson Guitar 2 - BJ "Balloon Animal" Schralpson Bass - Transcribed and Programed by BJ "Balloon Animal" Schralpson Drums - Transcribed and Programed by BJ "Balloon Animal" Schralpson
Official Lyrics:
Geeahhhhhhh!
Only in crew snuggle have I found rest With a piece of shit grey Toyota I begin to understand Hollow out this jelly like breast
With their muscles that flex to make me feel And assembled Gnards that big, big gay
Only in crew snuggle have I found rest Only in crew snuggle have I found rest
Remove from me (from me) (This big...) This big dildo (...dildo) (That I) That I called Steve (called Steve) (That I) That I called Steve (called Steve)
Fuck!
With their muscles that flex to make me feel And assembled Gnards that big, big gay
Remove from me (remove from me) This big dildo (that I that I) That I called Steve (that I called Steve) That I called Steve
Only in crew snuggle have I found rest With a piece of shit grey Toyota I begin to understand I begin to understand I begin to understand
Gnar Couch ❤️
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On today's stellar show, the boys talk with the Hill Awaits crew, a bunch of skate bros who decided skateboarding is too hard so they started mountain biking instead. Cheef is smitten. Kenny looks like the love child of Ted Kaczynski and Kim Kardashian after crashing on a green trail at Highland, breaking his nose and filling his mouth full of stitches. Rob and Cheef suck hard on Werther's throughout the show, making it almost unbearable to listen to.
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This week we're joined by Mynesweepers, who make sick tire inserts and other tire and wheel goodies. Kenny who is from Pittsburgh, is now known as Boston Kenny after moving to Cambridge to pretend like he goes to Harvard. We also discuss honey biscuits, amongst other stupid topics.
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Welcumb to Incident 85, the first Podshow we've done where the Zoom room overflowed with Gnards from around the world. We try to have a conversation with the two dozen In the Hills Gang members who show up, but instead have them make Chewbacca and seal sounds. Eventually, they get around to telling us about their upcoming freeride festival, which Sponch claims is "way better than corporate Rampage." We forget to record the beginning of the podcast. Lucky you. And we discuss Kenny's cute, crooked smile, amongst other irrelevant nonsense.
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The Degradation of American Society.
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This week, your favorite podcast discusses the movie Cocaine Bear and which animals would be the best fighters on coke. Danny Mac stops into to say he's going to poach every MTB line everywhere. And someone claiming to be Dylan Stark explains why he wasn't able to join us on the show last week after saying he would.
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She turned us straight.
IG: @mmurmaider
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Cheef got liquid on his keyboard. The show was real good. Just listen.
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Ronnie Mac AKA "Trav Nasty", Freeride Fat Bike World Record holder and our first Gnar Couch Sponsored rider, joins Kenny and BJ as their first guest on the Showcast. Getting 2nd at 2 DownHill races at Trestle Bike Park and at the cusp of completely conquering the Banana Peel in one run, what's next for this gnarly fattie trail slayer? All this and more on this special 9/11 memorial edition.
IG: @travnasty_808
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Thanks to the Gnards we've moved into a new studio! Unfortunately, we haven't fully soundproofed it yet so our show sounds like shit. Freerider Kaylee Gibb joins us to talk about sending big lines, doing backflips, raising kids, and mullets. Cheef exposes Sponch to Wesley Willis. The boys have an in-depth conversation about the stigma attached to having sexual relations with cantaloupes.
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Sponch's first Tarantino Movie, Pulp Fiction, is reviewed in Gnard fashion. Goth bosses are yummy and should be sent to the North Pole. What is wrong with eating cereal on a TV tray in front of a tube TV at 11pm? Nothing. Kenny and BJ double team Uma Thurman in front of Sponch. He pukes. BRING THEM YOUNG IS THE BEST UNIVERSITY TO BECOME A HEART SERGENT. The news taught us that there’s more than one way to eat a mom and the KGB is on to us. Health Insurance. Theft. Rocks. Arson. Just Vibe. Gay Navy Training. Then I blacked out. Sorry.
All the stories contained in this Showcast are fictional. wink wink
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Cheef explains why he hates Dave Coulier while Rob dances to Alanis Morissette's "You Oughta Know." Trucker Co. Bicyles and Ryan Rodriguez join the show to talk about Trucker Co.'s fantastic tire sealant. It isn't long before someone asks if cum is also a good tire sealant. Ryan Rodriguez talks about his recent horrible crash and the terrible decision he made earlier in life to be vegan. The boys read bios the Gnards created for the Outdoor Living Room Facebook Group. Most of them are pretty gay.
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We return from Gnard Fest with a show full of idiocy. Rob got audio with his new recorder. Sponch has a big show after drinking hard root beer. Jimmy writes two baikus. Enjoy.
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This emergency, worldwide transmission begins with the declaration of an emergency transmission, then spirals into a discussion about Alex Jones and his ripped dad bod. We talk Gnard Fest and throwing dildos at people off the Olympia Lift at Trestle Bike Park, home of Gnard Fest 2022. JewDee writes a short story and reads it.
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Kenny, Sponch and BJ are finally back. BJ is too high to talk per usual. Sponch and Kenny are on the greatest speed ever made. Life is good. We learned a lot. Watermelon is the most nutritious food according to the US government. That's some bad news for Nancy "Prosciutto" Pelosi. Damn. Gnardfest is upon us as well as the sunsetting of the goth girl population due to climate change. Please write Al Gore to fix this urgent problem. We also continued our Sigma Series with another Ryan Gothling film, Blade Runner 2049. On that note...
Ana De Armas...
I love you, bb jirl. Pls love me back.
That one weird guy from the internet, BJ
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After the previous show, we suspended Sponch for a week. The boys discuss the clitoris sizes of women who lift weights. We discuss our rapper names, and talk Gnard Fest.
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Sponch and Kenny Eggs are back. We'll be lucky if the podshow is. Enjoy.
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Once upon a time, Sponch and BJ recorded a joyous Showcast while Kenny was on vacation. There were many great things in it. BJ's first porno, flat earth etc. The fiery storm of Wisconsin internet and poor audio was too much. The Show Cast was trashed like the very couch it was created on.
For this week, we have The Slaughter at the Slaughter Pen: Act IV for you all to listen to. Don't worry, the cOmPuTeR sCiEnTiSt will figure out technology next week.
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On the latest episode of the Gnar Couch Podshow Sponch and Kenny are missing, but no one actually cares. The Boomer Hour commences as Rob, Jimmy, and Cheef do the show alone, trying to wrap things up before 9 pm, when they all automatically fall asleep. Rob tries to justify jerking it in public bathroom stalls. And crazy, Mormon murders--and buttholes--are discussed.
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****The Slaughter at the Slaughter Pen: Act III is at the end.
Kenny, Sponch, and BJ the worst my greatest shame post on Reddit. Ever wonder if Cavemen or Vikings banged or killed more? Us, too. We should be friends. Also, we discuss the movie Drive, which may be the most Sigma movie of the last 10 or 15 years.
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This week the boys welcome James Perri as a fill-in for Sponch, who was recording a much gayer Showcast podcast with Kenny Eggs and BJ Schralpson, as well as the legendary Chris Fox from FoxNRox Shuttles. Sly Fox, as he's known, now runs five shuttle vans, and has been shuttling SLC and Park City mountain bikers in some form for more than a decade now. He's a rippin' mountain biker too, no matter how modest he is. Sly Fox and Cheef start up the conspiracy theory talk. Cheef receives a Dmail containing a list of 10 things to do at Trestle during Gnard Fest. Details about the Gnard Fest lodging and lift ticket discounts are discussed.
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In between insensitive comments even we have to edit, the boys discuss Alex Jones attending hardcore pornstar Bonnie Rotten's wedding, Sponch's raging, 21-year-old sexuality, Rob's ability to frighten children with his dad voice, Cheef screaming like a bitch when a bat invades his cabin loft, and Jimmy's joke about Steve Irwin that makes Gnards in the Zoom room mad.
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Kenny, Sponch, and BJ discuss how to properly piss and shit (Maybe y’all don’t know how?), the making of Saw LXIX, badass Wind River, the Cartel’s monkey getting killed and Shrek is Love, Shrek is Life. Stick around until the end where we play The Slaughter at the Slaughter Pen Part II.
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Half of the podcast has come down with either a very transmissible contemporary virus or an STD. So, only Cheef is in the studio tonight. Sponch is on leave after yelling at Cheef and throwing Vizzy cans all over Jimmy Ridgeline. Kenny Eggs calls a gay sex line and speaks with "Crooked Rick." Rob claims he's had a male yeast infection, and Jacken D1x tells a story about getting a viral infection from watching VR porn with four other dudes.
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Kenny Eggs, Sponch and BJ are sexually educated by strangers with pride. Did you know Patrick Dorner really had it out for road cyclists?Also, isn't it sad that aspiring actors in LA have to work at Outback Steak House? All this and more on this episode of the Showcast. Bonus: Act I of The Slaughter at the Slaughter Pen is revealed(completely nude).
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In our third Gnar Couch Showcast, Kenny Eggs, BJ, Jimmy, Cheef, and Sponch discuss fancy dinners at Applebee's and Red Lobster. Kenny tells a story about trying to pick up a 400-pound woman. Sponch makes Jimmy as uncumbfortable as possible, and everyone nearly forgets to mention our new sponsor.
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Normal MTBer joins the podshow this week to be harassed by Sponch, who has a terrible to good question ratio of about 5 to 0. C-Bass tells us how the Normal MTBer brand came about, how he got hooked up with Specialized, Jenson USA, and more. He also answers most of Sponch's questions. Honestly, this is probably the only good podshow we've ever done, so listen, then support our Patreon so we can quit our shitty jobs like C-Bass did. Jimmy has the best baiku since we started the podshow. Boston Rob got a new board, but still sucks at producing the show, and Gnards tell us how they celebrated Pride Day. Gnard Fest details begin to emerge. Get out to Trestle Bike Park with us August 10-18!
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Queen of Dark Fest and Formation rider Chelsea Kimball joins us this week, saying Gnar Couch was her inspiration and the reason she became such an amazing rider. Gnard Fest 2022 is discussed. Kenny Eggs has locked in some deep discounts for anyone cumbing to Trestle Bike Park with us in August. We try to figure out how to get Guerilla Gravity and Diet Smoke to sponsor us, mostly resorting to threats and violence against them if they don't.
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A show about nothing... but cum, influencers, car crashes, Mortal Kumbat, the Utah Jizz, the Chicago Balls, Lord Canfield, vegetaintballs, scams, and the treasured stories of our youth.
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On this week's podshow, we return to the format that made us famous. One hour. Full stupidity. Despite it being episode 69, we do nothing special, unless sexually harassing our Zoom meeting members is special. Cheef tries to remote view Sponch's location, mistaking massive boobs for a fupa. Our guest forgets to join us because she's out riding her bike, a reasonable excuse in our book.
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We ended up with two guests in the second hour. Hayden from 15/7 came by to celebrate 420 and talk about his efforts to fund a couple of our slopestyle buddies. Then, the greatest dirtbag of all time, Kieren, talks about riding old bikes, living in a van, inspiring pro riders, and riding the gnarliest lines in Virgin.
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When the honeymoon phase ends things can go 2 ways: Renaissance or Divorce. We chose the former. In this new show, Kenny, Balloon Animal, Cheef, and Jimmy have a hot tub, homoerotic cuddle about Zero Dick Andy and The Slaughter at the Slaughter Pen. Naturally, there was FiNgErBlAsTiNg to bring us closer together.
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We celebrated 420 the way any red-blooded American would. Everyone got baked, except Cheef, who ironically doesn't cheef. Was Jimmy high? No one actually knows. And if they found out, he'd kill them.
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Another round of talks about Bentonville's claim to fame as the "MTB Capital of the World," with insider info from Bentonville locals. A discussion of the biggest troll in MTB: Red Bull Rampaved (which we have no association with). And an in-depth, serious discussion about the dirt squirrel roots of everyone on the Gnarcast, except for Sponch.
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The Gnarcast has started a new Facebook group because the original group is too boomery. Team Terry takes offense to this claim, as he is a boomer. Kenny and Cheef discuss the workout videos they send each other, and a challenge to squat Gape Bendley at Gnard Fest is issued. Jimmy gives us a Mound Rushmore of short rockstars.
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Due to the fact the Gnarcasters can't create their own content, they ask the Gnards for Instagram reel suggestions, all of which end up resulting in gay sex, except for one really good idea from Luce Bajina. Cheef explains his workout plan, which Rob is now going to try to the detriment of anyone within five feet of his saggy, old-man balls. Sponch tells a story about being in a pirate wedding after Rob admits to being in a Renaissance wedding. A new Gnard joins the Zoom room and falls in love with Kenny. They're planning on getting married and moving to the Pokin' Os.
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Begins with a discussion about taking Cialis to increase height instead of penile size, which then dovetails into Cheef suggesting 16 year olds should be doing steroids. Kenny Eggs explains how steroids turned his cousin from an alpha male into a romance novel fan. Sponch's top 5 favorite mountains are pretty much all shaped like boobs or dicks. After seeing Cinnabons in a rural Idaho gas station, Cheef asks Sponch if he wants to split a Sy-bi-on.
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Jesse Iozzio from Iozzio Cycles joins the transcast for hour two to talk about his Shotgun headtube herb container, the perfect tool for stashing weed in a safe place on your bike. John Clarkson reads a poem worthy of a Pulitzer. Sponch tells the story about going to Judas Priest and being called a homophobic slur by a boomer.
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Two weeks later this show still sucks. The boys discuss their new Facebook group for show listeners only, saying they'll bully anyone who posts stupid content. A brief discussion of boy bands erupts. Cheef tells Rob he's taken a step back in spiritual evolution by converting from Catholicism to Judaism. John Clarkson gets pissed off about Casey's pizza. The boys start a fundraiser, doing something nice for the first time in their lives, to support the racing costs of local, talented youth downhillers Luke and Alex Mallen. Cheef talks about spraypainting blue pentagrams on garages in his neighborhood as a kid.
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Danny Mac joins the podcast again to talk about sending the Bender Sender. Kenny Eggs gives us a preview of Slaughter at Slaughter Pen, which is now almost three months past its original release date. Rodert McDenrey Zooms the boys to talk about the importance of drinking condensed milk.
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As the showcast drifts further and further from mountain biking, the boys discuss Sponch's newly found love for hardcore punk music, which he says he likes because it sounds like shit. John Clarkson discloses that he recently cambe in his own beard after drinking too many La Croixs. Everyone discusses how much money it would take for them to give up their anal virginity, with some of the dollar amounts being (un)surprisingly low.
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Olivia Jaye Highsmith, vocalist for the great punk band The Fuckheads, joins the show to talk about their new song "Shred the Gnar." BJ Schralpson's mom sends a friend request to Cheef. The boys discuss being in their father's penises, inside of their mother's vaginas. There is a deep dive on pop punk and The Offspring. John Clarkson threatens to bang Sponch on a sailboat on Lake Superior. Rob talks mad shit on everyone. The proper way to brush your teeth is by running your toothbrush through your asscrack before brushing.
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The boys discuss Sponch's broken collar bone. Rob tells a story about snorting Percocet. Cheef gets a boner for a woman who thinks she's a cat. Everyone is surprised by Sponch's selection for the Sponch Tune.
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In part II of Incident 62, Trail Clones joins the crew to talk about making bike memes that piss people off. We debut a new segment called Ask Andi, where Instagram followers ask mountain biker and OnlyFans personality TheRadicalFox two-part questions about bikes and their love lives. Sponch and Cheef share a story about Danny Mac cucking pros on the Bender Sender. Sponch introduces the new music genre of sus rap. Rob nearly has a heart attack. Jimmy actually laughs.
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The show more or less falls apart as technical difficulties ensue immediately after intros. Rob gets mad at Cheef for not including him in the Blue Jew parody commercial, then forgives him. Cock and ball torture is discussed. An Oral Connections message leads to an in-depth discussion of Asian massage parlors and how to find them. Jimmy tells a joke only he understands and has to explain it to everyone.
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In this Patreon-only segment, the boys really make it worth your money when they discuss Cheef's dog, who stalks his other dog, and eventually always ends up humping her face. Jimmy and Bobston Ross argue about how long it takes to get from Virgin to Moab because they're nerds. The Mail Sack includes a dmail from a guy who has recently joined a Crossfit gym and really likes the girls. We also hear more from Slaughter at Slaughterpen.
Meeting Sponch's mom. Dustin Carlson talks about painting T-Mac's Rampage bike and is occasionally harassed by both the show members and the Gnards. Pornhub searches. Midget furry butts. Jimmy's Baiku hits home with this crew. Slaughter at Slaughter Pen update.
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The Gnards finally return in 2022 with a new format, more cast members, and an even shittier show. Show sponsor Joey Russell, who owns Take a Hike bike shop places giant dildos on cars in downtown St. Charles. The boys question whether or not they can get Howard Stern on as a guest. A caller named Kweef of Staph calls in and says he wants Cheef to save him from being cucked. The crew discusses saving lesbians when their heads become stuck in vaginas while 69ing.
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Part II of Incident 60 begins with an assessment of Rage Against the Machine and the collective realization that they suck. Sponch is forced into telling a story about getting laid, which strays outside of the typical sexual encounter. The boys recap their top three MTB moments of 2021. Goose Knuckle shotguns Twisted Tea. Bobston Ross makes a snow angel in his boxers to relieve stress.
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We're five dozen in now and are celebrating Jayzuss's (#Prayzz Jayzuss) birthday with a Big Package giveaway. Our worldwide gnar cult spent the week roasting us on Instagram for their chance to win. We read the best roasts, but it had no effect on our egos or our plan to continue producing a shitty podcast. We took our life into our own hands by taunting Jimmy Sniper with his least favorite music genre, hick-hop. Jimmy's anger ramps up and he threatens to kill all of us. Sponch explains the word "xaddy" and it gets overused, like every catchword we come up with.
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After a nearly respectable first half, the Gnardcast reverts back to its former self with the Question of the Week, which deals with an elongated juicer that was found at a discount store. Jimmy writes two baikus, one about earning your turns and another about Christmas, which he hates. Sponch follows up with a haiku of his own about Jimmy. The Zoom room stops working and Boston Rob plays a ton of drops while Cheef tries to figure out how to fix the problem. The show wraps with the boys attempting to do math using tits as a numerical reference.
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On this week's show, Canfield Bikes' Lance Canfield and Don Stefanovich join the boys to talk about the newest version of the legendary Jedi bike. The updated Jedi is a complete redesign of the original bike, and now has 29-inch wheels, which makes smashing over everything from rocks to microwaves easier. It also jumps better now! This bike is sick and all of us except Jimmy--because he can actually ride--can't wait to crash on one! Sponch explains his new business idea, an anime looner pillow (that you can hump). Cheef suggests Boston Rob, who is Jewish, tries growing Hasidic curls from his mustache.
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Just in time for your Monday morning commute to your shit job, we present a shit podcast.
The second half of this week's show is terrible, and the boys try to wrap it up as quickly as possible. Gnards worldwide rip Cheef's Diamondback Release slopecuntry bike with the Question of the Week. Rob's show prep includes a story about the world's biggest pot brownie, which was baked in his home state of Massachusetts. The quio rushes through the last part of the podcast to get it over with so they can all go to bed before working at their 50-hour a week jobs. Give us money so we can quit. Patreon link below.
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First and foremost, we're adding Dirt Spray to the list of discounted merchants for our Patreon subscribers. You'll get 15% off all Dirt Spray orders when you join! Their jerseys are some of the sickest in all of MTB! Definitely check them out. We've also added an early release preview of Fifteen7's new video Gangnar to our Patreon page. Check out all the homies riding SLC, Green River, and Virgin, with a guest appearance from Sponch. Ben Jergenhoff calls the Oral Connections Line to try to squash his beef with Goose Knuckle by sharing a "beef pizza." The boys evaluate the legality of "rape dogs" after a guy gets stuck breaking into an elderly woman's house through a doggy door, but gets stuck and sexually assaulted by two German shepherds. They also discuss the art of jelqing.
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In part two of this week's broadcast, Boston Rob releases his work woes on our ears and we all decide doing the Gnar Couch Podcast full time would be amazing. Cheef got cupped during a massage, which leads to a discussion about the many meanings of being cupped, and eventually, Jimmy Sniper brings up the topic of "buttercupping." Continuing his trend of topping Rob as the most fucked up member of the podcast, Jimmy wrote a Christmas song, which the boys all sing together. A Mail Sack submission about life in the Gnar Couch Virgin, Utah commune takes a strange twist when the blades on a helicopter are replaced with dildos.
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The Gnar crew returns this week with a new segment called "Oral Connections." You can contribute by leaving us a voice mail at 385-367-5332 (REEB) any time. Swearing at Sponch is our most popular format thus far. Much to our surprise, the Gnar Couch Podcast is the top podcast among many of our listeners around the world. We would like to thank you for this honor by offering free nudes to anyone who can prove the Gnar Couch Podcast is their number-one download. We also try to do accents and karaoke an Oasis song badly. This podcast is 2/10. Not recommended.
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Jimmy reads the best Baiku ever. It's 10/10. Sponch says he shit in a urinal when he was six. The boys cover a breaking news story about a girl who pisses on a guy's face during a concert. Jimmy says he needs to watch someone die. The boys talk about their pee shyness and mirrored urinals. A dmailer tries to sell a new product called Turbo Turds.
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A man claiming to be "Sam Walton IV: Mayor Bentonville" joins the Zoom room and describes the Mountain Bike Capital of the World's feelings toward the Gnar Couch Podcast. Cheef calls his bluff, asking why he sounds like he's from Savannah if he's really from Arkansas. Jimmy tells the boys he wants to punch Will Smith as much as Jake Gyllenhaal. The boys also debut their new Oral Connections Line, which you can call 385-367-5332 or 385-367-JEEB. Call anytime to leave us a voice message.
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We premiere the new hit song, "Sponch's Mom," a soon-to-be Grammy Award-winning tune honoring the woman we all love more than anyone else. Sponch reacts. Cheef comes up with a new business pitch called Cocko Krispies, which will use the slogan "You can't beat our meat," to sell chicken strips. The mail sack includes an idea for an event called "Jillith Fair," where all of the angst-ridden feminist alt artists of the 90s reunite for a huge OnlyFans-style webcam show. Rob messes up the final drop at the end of the show after doing a great job earlier in the broadcast.
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The boys realize they're at the tipping point when a consultant joins the Patreon to pay to help them be better podcasters. Cheef tells a story about the time his dad had to come to a parent-teacher conference after throwing his history book out of the window in second grade. Hogging--the practice of purposely banging fat chicks--is discussed, with Boston Rob going into deep details about his experience with a larger girl. The Gnards respond to an Instagram question about Boston Rob dropping his Jewniform pants. The boys give away a Gnar Couch t-shirt with a mini-horse impression contest. The Gnarcast loses its internet feed and the Gnards roast the cast.
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After releasing the dates for Gnardfest 2022, the boys get thrown way off track when Boston Rob says he'd like to get a blumpkin from a girl who is also simultaneously lighting her own fart on fire. Kenny Eggs describes trying to navigate back to their condo after the live recording at Gnardfest 2021, when Sponch was high on mushrooms and insisting they drive the car directly into the side of a mountain. The quio discusses who they would use fart hypnosis on, which includes their Rampage selections.
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No one was dumb enough to join the Gnarcast this week, but the boys were happy to announce their merger with the Gnard Couch Podcast. Kenny Eggs hacked into John Clarkson's computer and confesses to a gay priest via internet phone that he has uncontrollable urges. Meanwhile, Balloon Animal feels cucked as he listens. John Clarkson reviews Casey's pizza, giving it low marks. Sponch expands our understanding of BYU culture, building on soaking and jump-humping with the addition of bagpiping.
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The boys return for hour two with Sponch making fun of Cheef, most likely because Cheef called him a "Jew-hating Hitler." Jimmy reads two baikus to make up for last week's absence. Jimmy tries to use the word based and the boys aren't quite sure how to respond. They also try to solve the mystery of Ben Jergenhoff and patent a new product from space called Shitting Stars.
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The first two-thirds of this podcast is completely normal. Just five dudes talking about sweet, steel mountain bikes from Hellion Bikes, LLC and what makes Bentonville worth visiting. The last third is regression to the mean, when topics like pissing in creeks and mini-horses once again dominate the conversation. Thanks to both Mike LaSalata and Chris Canfield for stopping by. We're sold on Hellion. Listen, and you will be too!
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Part 2 is a great example of why you don't give idiots access to podcast equipment and the means to broadcast to the entire world. Sponch talks about his trip to the In the Hills festival, which included free beer, drugs, and near-death experiences for several event-goers. Later, he explains that he doesn't know what hemorrhoids are, calling them "kidney stones for your butt." The boys receive a great Mail Sack submission from Deborah McSamsclub, a concerned Bentonville parent.
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The Gnarcasters celebrate their first birthday by recapping their first podcast ever. Spoiler: they still suck. They take a deep dive into a "casual encounters" website called DoubleList, reading posts from people seeking arrangements that are carnal in nature. Jimmy tells a story about a kid he went to high school with nicknamed Salami, who used salami sticks as strokers.
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Part II continues the nonsense as Jimmy gets St. Angered at Sponch when Sponch tells him Metallica's worst album is in the six-disc changer in his new Honda Ridgeline. Cheef comes up with a new hard seltzer called "Black Fist." The boys try to find freaks on Craigslist and consider bringing back a bit Cheef used to do in his radio days called "CLUT of the Week." Boring Rampage talk kills about half an hour. The Mail Sack is drained, and the Gnarcasters wrap up with a breakdown of different types of drug addicts you'll find in every major city.
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We finally got a Patreon. Become a member for access product discounts, online games with the Gnar Couch and Gnard Couch crew, short stories from Kenny Eggs, and access to the Gnard Couch Podcast, which recaps each week's Gnar Couch podcast and gives you even more dumbass audio content to listen to on the way to Sponch's mom's house. Bobston Ross and Mattpoo Cockley share vasectomy stories. Sponch reveals he had been dating a girl, but never told us, then she ghosted him after she found out about our podcast.
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In Pat II of Incident 50, Rob creeps Cheef out when he says panties. The boys discuss a wedgie that led a girl to a near-death experience. Following a conversation about the NES game Contra, we determine Sponch's spread-her gun doesn't work. Foreigner's Feels Like the First Time becomes a talking point when the Gnarcasters can't figure out what else to talk about.
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In part one of Incident 51, the boys are joined by Brage Vestavik's mechanic Gavin Steder, with whom they actually talk bikes and Rampage for a bit. The boys also discuss whether or not Gnar Couch is a cult after one of Sponch's friends refers to the entire Gnar Couch movement as the "Gnar Cult." Jimmy and Sponch, who grew up Mormon, explain soaking/fermenting/marinating, sparking, and jump-humping, among other strange Mormon sexual acts. The boys break down an FBI raid that netted 3,178 preserved penises.
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Legendary bike designer Chris Canfield joins the boys this week and they actually talk about bikes. Chris confuses the mouth-breathing Gnardcasters with his intelligence and understanding of science. Topics include the original CBF suspension design, his new Deuce-Deuce bike, the Canfield Jedi and Secret Weapon bikes, Chris's Master's World Champion Downhill crown and questions from the audience.
The boys also come up with a new marketing plan for their sunglasses sponsor, Bliz Eyewear, that includes a throwback to the Voltron cartoon. Jimmy's Baiku is podium-worthy. Kenny Eggs wins a fake tongue vibrator and cumbs for three hours straight while staring at Chris in the Zoom meeting.
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On this worst-ever best-ever, the boys highlight the true heart of the podcast: the Gnards. It's two hours of rambling drops and cuts about lot lizards douching with used motor oil, cocaine and Mexican donkey shows, worshipping the Gnar Couch, starting businesses while smoking pot, pissing on your own leg, poetry, Sponch's mom, butt plugs, and so much more! You'll hate it!
Starring: Drunk Wisconsin Person, 69 Goose Fuckle 420, Balloon Animal, Bentonville Looner, Choad McCuntonyaface, Shatpoo Cockley, #TeamTerry, Luce Bajina, Smart Dustin, Josh Bender and more!
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No one was stupid enough to join the Gnarcast this week, which is a good thing because Bobston Ross did most of the show with his shirt off. We were going to discuss important bike-related topics like inclusivity and decreasing environmental impact when riding, but didn't have time after more pressing discussions about trolling people who message us, Sponch's lack of lower body hair, Rob's abundance of chest hair, the truth behind duck butter, Bentonville riders sniffing our saddles, people in Tennesee throwing severed penises at dolphins,and Boston Rob regularly wandering around his backyard nude.
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Bob Bonelli from Tight Chutes joins the boys this week and they give away a Session hip pack. Tight Chutes sells packs that don't suck, along with other things that make riding more convenient. Bob uses his experience as a former soldier, longtime backcountry skier, and overall smart guy to design hip packs even Cheef would wear (and Cheef hates hip packs).
Bobston Ross returns after missing a week for a Smashing Blumpkins concert. Sponch tells the story about a grizzly bear and her cub rummaging through his campsite in Jackson Hole. Jimmy is on point with a record number of snipes, and Cheef talks about the first race he's entered in the past eight years and how he rode off the trail.
Also included: potty humor and middle-aged men acting like they're 13.
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Roon Rib takes the night off to attend a Smashing Blumpkins concert and James Perri fills in. Jimmy explains having to explain boofing drugs to his 14-year-old son after Sponch dresses up like Boof the Magic Dragon while riding in Jackson Hole. Perri discloses his skill as an ASMR talent as the Gnards make sound effect requests that include choking a turkey and dolphin sex. Slick Honey Soaked Cougar tells the story about buying a Gnar Couch Looner shirt for his buddy who wore it for pictures the day his twins were born. Sponch slurps IPA from the HerPee. AJ Ghost gets naked and eats spaghetti in the Zoom room. 69 Gooseknucke 420 key bumps Total War preworkout. Perri concludes the show with a rant about jibbers.
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Sponch booked surprise guests this week, elating both Bobston Ross and Cheef. Formation and Freeride Fiesta rider Chelsea Kimball FINALLY joined the boys to talk about freeriding the holy crap out of North America. Her boyfriend, Ryan Rodriguez, who Sponch and Cheef have nicknamed Papa Virgin, also stopped by the Stabbin' Cabin. In an unprecedented event, most of the content focuses on bikes, with a few forays into topics such as selling farts and fart videos for a living, jack-off crystals, and Gnar Couch's latest idea for an event, Rampaved, which will be held in Bentonville, AR. Cheef's mic is too hot and Bobston Ross repeatedly fucks up as a producer. In all, this prodcast is still a 6.9 out of 420. Also, Ryan farts into the mic on command. All this shit was done by Howard Stern a long time ago. We suck.
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The boys are back from their epic trip to Trestle to discuss important (non) mountain bike-related topics. Devin Carlson from Archer Components is back on the show to discuss their new products, which include a new battery pack that actuates their shifters 50% faster.
Looners are a hot topic of conversation again as the boys discuss buying a hot-air balloon to lead legions of horny looners across the country, soaking the nation in semen. This leads to the development of a new event which Gnar Couch will sponsor in which balloons are filled with female ejaculate for a water balloon fight.
The Gnardcast also considers several Patreons and Venmo drives, with memberships ranging from $.69 to $69, and $4.20 in between. Give us and our sponsors money.
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In the worst Gnar Couch Podcast in recent history, both Sponch and Jimmy almost fall asleep while Boston Rob randomly fires music beds and Cheef forgets there is a guest. Leaning heavily on the Gnards, the Prodcasters barely shit out a show.
Highbrow highlights include:
- Jimmy has never played any GTA game
- Druglas has to run away from his family to listen
- A puppet named Cuntswaylow joins the Zoom Room
- Amaury Pierron and his stupid Instagram post
- Sponch will be bottoming for Kenny Eggs at Gnard Fest
Cool companies you should check out:
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On this week's episode the boys try to create a new sexual act using the South Park Manatee Method. For some reason, Bobston Ross keeps bringing dogs into the conversation. Later, Bobston says he's farted so loud in his sleep it woke his wife up. Cheef tells the Gnarcast he's going to start wearing a raccoon skin hat, which leads to a mildly disturbing conversation. The boys also consider another Shark Tank business called Hate Date, which will match people based on things they hate rather than things they like. A girl joins the Zoom room and wins a giant, thrusting, beaded vibrator on the Adult Toy Price is Right.
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Salt Lake City's Weston Keith joins the Gnards this week to talk about the time he poached DJ Brandt's X-Games line. Spoiler: DJ didn't like it too much. Weston ate shit on the jump, a 40-foot canyon gap, and posted it on Instagram. Sponch chooses Metallica's St. Anger for the Sponch Tune, confusing everyone in the room. The boys declare their allegiance to the God of Gnar, Jayzus after Jimmy and Cheef are accosted by born-again Christians during lift laps at Park City Mountain Resort.
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Two guests join the Gnardcast this week, including #TeamTerry, who drove out from Illinois, and Hayden Sybrant from Fifteen7. The boys talk about #TeamTerry's influence on Cheef as a mountain biker, and Fifteen7's apparel and effort to make mountain biking rad again. Cheef repeatedly makes Sponch uncomfortable by telling him he is his "daddy." Jimmy's brain shuts down. Boston Rob relays a story about a time an elderly woman saw his package. And Sponch expresses his desire to no longer be a part of the show several times.
Check out these rad people who make this stupid podcast possible.
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James Perri and Puto, a loud-mouth from somewhere in South America, help Robston Bobston lead the podcast as Cheef goes on vacation. The boys try their best to spend more than 45 seconds on any single topic and generally fail miserably at this task.
Rampage builder Dick Finn joins the show and exposes the world to his crazy laugh that sounds like a car that won’t start. Jimmy fires a snipe after another discussion about Mexican donkey shows. Perri does his best Aaron Gwin impression. Drunk Wisconsin Person claims he almost killed himself when the boys start nerding out with a conversation that’s actually about mountain biking. Puto tells a story about a fat guy in a canned Volkswagen he called “The Fat and the Furious.”
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Fewer and fewer guests are willing to come on the podcast, as we predicted would happen months ago, and the boys are now relying on a bunch of out-of-shape, nude guys with dad bods to provide content for the podcasts. Without being told to do so, almost 50% of the Gnards in the Zoom meeting take at least their pants off, if not all of their clothing. The one woman in the meeting intelligently remains clothed. The elusive Kenyan, John Gichomo, visits the Gnarcast for the first time, explaining exactly what the fuck he is trying to say in his posts as he battles the English language barrier.
Boston Rob gets too high to remember the name of the weekly sex toy contest, while Jimmy Sniper snipes, Sponch bashes his head into the microphone five times and finds out the GoFundMe to get him to Wisconsin was successful, and Cheef argues with the rest of the boys about whether or not he does the Take a Hike Shop read the same way each week.
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The boys' friend Devin Hughes joins the podcast tonight and gets wasted as the idiots ramble on about the first time Sponch got drunk and slept in his own piss. Cheef is the show's MVP as he snipes left and right, makes a tribute to Angry Jimmy, and carries the show. The third episode of the Gnard Couch Podcast is discussed, and the Gnardcasters give away a butt plug and discuss the proper way to use it.
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This week, the Gnardcast receives a 45-pound box of sex toys from Cheef's former boss at the radio station and host the first-ever "Sex Toy Price is Right," where they give away a seven-speed, diesel, disco dildo. It's also about 85 degrees in Cheef's house and the team is overcum with swamp ass and eventually level up to duck butter. The Gnard G.O.A.T. is debated as Luce Bajina shotguns a 16-ounce Sprite, and a great discussion about ghost pirate porn leads the crew to sample some dialog from the 8-million-dollar porno classic, Pirates II: Stagnetti's Revenge.
Thanks again to Take a Hike Shop, Bliz Eyewear, and Archer Components for the support. Buy our shit at the Gnar Couch store.
James Perri joins the legendary Lance Canfield as the only guest to appear twice on the Gnar Couch Podcast and he earns his keep after voicing a commercial for Fake Girls, Real Love, Kenny Eggs's sex doll brothel. He breaks down the invite-only TDS Enduro, which he recently rode in. James is a talker so the podcast runs three hours before editing for only the second time. The first time it did...was also because of James.
In other Gnard news, Sponch hits a 35 foot gap that is 85 feet long, Jimmy snipes with one of his funniest random comments yet, Cheef's computer takes a dump, and Rob laughs in another part of the Stabbin' Cabin and we can still here it. We also cover classic music from a guy only sings names and Wesley Willis.
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This week the boys invite MFT (Mexican Freeride Team) Riders on to the podcast and host a special challenge devised by the satellite Gnard Couch Podcast. Cheef and Jimmy try to keep everyone focused after MFT, Sponch, and Robston Boss smoke a 7-gram joint. The MFT crew explains their origins while the Gnards come up with other groups like the White Trash Riders of West Virginia. Sponch and EZ from MFT battle for highest person in the room.
After Sponch finds a she-pee on his microphone, Luce Bajina tells a story about a midget donkey show in Tijuana and shotguns Modelos in honor of MFT, while KY Gnard posts up nekkid on the toilet for the entire podcast. A girl name Mike Litoris joins the Gnar Couch Zoom Room for the first time. Drunk Wisconsin Person shotguns La Croix. The boys discuss an erected poll about the #GnarWorldOrder uniform and also talk about drinking four-year-old Heinekens found under the chairlift at Sundance.
Thanks to our loving sponsors at Take a Hike Shop, Bliz Eyewear (use code "SponchesMom" for 20% off}, and Archer Components.
The Gnardcasters have sloppily thrown together their first "worst-of" compilation and it's full of high-brow humor. Highlights include:
- The intro to the first incident
- Boston Rob's first show
- The Blumpkin Rob story
- 69 Goose Knuckle 420 shotgunning La Croix, trying to get the Gnar Couch on his dog tags, and telling his CO he's a "looner"
- Poetry from Jimmy Sniper and a drunk Wisconsin idiot
- Asking Lance Canfield stupid questions
- Bender
- Lots of drops
- Sponch's Northern Lights experience
- Bobston Ross's NKOTB remix and the Savage Sponch tribute
- Joey Foresta's nature dump
- Cushcock and Bliz on my face stories
Thanks to Take a Hike Bike Shop, Archer Components, and Bliz Sunglasses for supporting this stupidity.
This week the Gnardcast gets Bliz on their face. (You can too, with the code "SponchesMom" getting you 20% off.) Kenny Eggs tries to get investors for his sex doll brothel, while Sponch is interviewed on the spin-off Gnard Couch Podcast and admits he doesn't know what breezeways and mudrooms are. Bobston Ross explains why he was known as "Tuna Can," while Jimmy attacks the Fest Series. Cheef is grumpy after his dogs shit in the house.
Thanks to Take a Hike Shop and Archer Components. (Go buy their stuff.)
This week's podcast proves that we are indeed regressing as a society when 69 Moose Fuckle 420 shotguns two La Croixs after mixing Four Loko and Twisted Tea with Total War pre-workout. Cheef makes a special Bobston Ross remix of New Kids on the Block's Hangin' Tough. Lumbergh bests Shakespeare with a poem about the Gnards. Cheef's computer keeps randomly playing audio, allowing the Gnar Couch Podcast to retain its title as the worst podcast on the internet. The boys welcome Bliz eyewear as the new sponsor of Jimmy's Baiku. Big thanks to Take a Hike Bike Shop and Archer Components for their support of this idiotic drivel.
Trevyn Newpher has a strange name, but he is by far the most normal person on this week's podcast. Trevyn is the bike park manager at Steamboat Resort in Steamboat Springs, Colorado, and he recently helped design and build the city's bike park. He is also a professional mountain biker and coach, as well as a talented video producer and Timbersled ambassador. He's also the only person on this week's episode with any real talent.
This becomes blatantly obvious when the boys review the Gnard Couch Podcast, a Gnar Couch spin-off podcast hosted by two drunk, cheese-eating degenerates in Wisconsin. The Gnards come up with a list of depraved sexual acts and ask Bobston Ross which ones he's partaken in. Jimmy rates his anger. Cheef still hasn't landed a 360. Sponch seems to have contained his weaponized A.D.D. at least some, but new challenges are brewing between him, Cheef, and Bobston Ross.
This week's podcast was a reverse milestone as the boys relied on actual bike content and decreased dick jokes by 69% to make Incident 29 almost listenable.
Canfield's Tom Brooks dropped by after standing the Gnardcast up last week, a painful reminder of high school for everyone except Bobston Ross, who most likely went to prom with three girls and a pocket full of ecstasy. Tom made the switch from BMX to MTB about a year ago and has already dropped some sick edits and clips. Along with Canfield, he rides for Archer Components, EXT Suspension, Lemon Tree, Zoic, 15/7, and Gripit Gloves. He and the boys discuss the differences between BMX and MTB riders, and come up with a world-first trick for Sponch and Cheef to try on a tandem bike.
Cheef admits he likes the butt rock band Buckcherry. The boys make fun of MTB and #vanlife influencers who start every video with, "Hey guys!" The looner culture makes its return to the podcast as Sponch talks about his experience in a looner Facebook group. For some reason, Sammy Sosa's unnatural skin color changes come up again, and the Gnarcast agrees that sports would be better if athletes were allowed to use any drugs they want. Cheef realizes all his impressions sound like Scott Stapp when he tries to sound like Toby Keith Macho Man, who, in his estimation, only sounded the way he did because he never actually took a dump. Everyone makes fun of Cheef for not knowing Eminem lyrics. Bobstan Ross admits his first concert was NKOTB and he got a chubby when he met Joey McIntyre.
This week our guest cancels so we're subjected to a terrible, awful, disgusting story from Boston Rob, along with plenty of stupidity from the Gnards, who are allowed to comment unencumbered via Zoom. Sponch shares a great chicken recipe. The show is only saved by fantastic Mail Sack submissions from Kenny Eggs and Cockley and a story from Gnard Leif about racking himself in front of his eight-year-old neighbor. The boys actually talk about mountain biking, discussing the longevity of Five Ten shoes and their Archer Components D1X wireless shifter demos.
Rahstahn Bahb proves his worth again after booking two guests for this weeks podcast: Devin Carlson from Archer Components and Sarah Pruss from Pathetic Mountain Bikers.
Devin is the co-owner of Archer, which makes a wireless shifter that is compatible with any derailleur. Cheef is stoked on the product and can't wait to learn bar spins with it on his trail bike. Devin was nice enough to let the boys demo two of the wireless shifters, which they're already considering selling to buy Cameo recordings of Caitlyn Jenner promoting Gnar Couch.
Sarah started Pathetic Mountain Bikers and she and her admin team regularly remove comments from the Gnards, who frequently troll the group. She and the boys have a semi-serious conversation about the roles of admins in MTB groups and the ways each approach their respective groups as moderators.
Sponch practices his first Cameo recording with a horrible request from listener Moose Cuckle and Kenny Eggs suggests an outfit for Sponch for our upcoming Thongs and Dongs Calendar. Jimmy says about 13 words and secretly considers leaving all of us for a return to normalcy.
Rippin' rider, mechanic, and Rampage builder James Perri joins the Gnarcast this week and, luckily, he's funnier than the Gnards so the podcast is halfway decent for the first time ever. James has ridden in races around the world and looks like Lawrence from the movie Office Space so he's cool as shit. He and the boys barely talk about mountain biking, but touch on Formation, riding with pros, and proper riding apparel (jorts). James also auditions to be the Gnar Couch voiceover guy.
Bobstan Ross and Cheef tell stories about partying with the band Godsmack, while Jimmy remains nearly silent and Sponch does another dirty Google search. The boys rate a Gnard's music submission and Sponch finds out there is a Facebook group about banging his mom. Luce Bajina makes his first audio appearance and interrupts the show repeatedly. Jimmy tells the story about how he pussed out on King Kong trail in Virgin.
The boys were supposed to have Josh Bender and Randy Spangler on, but both of them wised up and decided to avoid the Gnards. So, in a last-minute fury of producing wizardry, Roston Bob reached out to Cheeks at Dirt Spray in Miami, who decided he'd defile his brand by being a guest. The boys get the low-down on MTB in Florida, which includes freeriding in 300-foot deep phosphorous mines and dirt roadies going OTB on jumps. The Gnardcast decides they'd ride in bikinis all season in order to get a Ferrari.
Angry Jimmy Sniper is calm and collected as he delivers his best baiku yet, honing in on Sponch's protectile dysfunction. Cheef decides he wants to join the Boston mob when Roston Bob tells him he'll get horse cock sandwiches. Cheef explains why he's now wearing all white when he rides and the boys discuss Jewniforms with resident expert, Roston Bob. In all, the show is a 2/10.
Just when you think the Gnarcast can't get more derelict, the boys invite friend and low-key freeride shredder Dustin Smart onto the podcast. Dustin is an underrated rider who doesn't give a shit about being an influencer because he's too busy throwing front flips on Rampage lines and slamming beers after abusing his bike and the mountain. Dustin hates pedaling and style cats, but loves making sexual advances toward the podcast's hosts. His insights into both mountain biking and life provide the show with a record number of drops. He's our kinda Gnard.
Roston Bob becomes technically savvy and gets the drops working, but the podcast is temporarily halted when Dustin kicks the board's power cord. Jimmy reads a great eBaiku. Sponch doesn't know what a semicolon is. And Cheef claims he can do double backflips.
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If ever there was someone who belongs on this podcast, it would be Mark Kugel. This rad 50-year-old rides like he's 19, and after grabbing a bike for the first time ever at 39, has won two national downhill championships. Kugel also builds and has his own MTB coaching business, Kugel's Gravity School. He rides for Revel bikes and Lenz Sport SkiBikes and reminds the boys a lot of Bender, which is exactly why they wanted him on. He and the boys talk about overcoming obstacles, coaching, mini-horses, and in a new twist, dwarf donkeys. It's as dumb as you think it will be.
Sponch tells the boys he hates a popular mountain bike magazine. Roston Bob gives out hugs and high fives. Jimmy claims to be a one-minute man, and Cheef gets shit for starting a Facebook page highlighting himself. In all, the show is a 3 out of 10.
Just like the Gnards, builders never get the credit they deserve. So, this week the boys tip their hats to Richard Finn, Jr., a California-based builder who has constructed Rampage lines for Antoine Bizet, Wil White, and Logan Binggeli. Richard has spent a lot of time moving dirt in the Southern Utah desert and has some great stories about building, Rampage, and stealing building materials from construction sites.
The Gnards break down their favorite hair bands. Mooseknuckle explains that being in the Marines means you're going to get your nuts stomped after blowing in conch shells and making slip and slides. Luce Bagina is named Gnard of the Week. Cheef tries to convince Jimmy and Sponch to get Woodward passes, and Kindard's Korner includes a wonderful story about a lot lizard washing her lady parts with gutter sludge before riding off on her Yeti.
One of the boys' favorite riders, Virgin's own Danny Mac, joins the podcast this week to talk about big sends in the desert and his recent crash, which resulted in six broken vertebrae and three broken ribs, all of which doctors say he'll totally recover from. The Gnards also discuss rebounding from injuries, motivation, the territorial pissing matches between freeriders in Virgin, and fingering mountain bikes.
Despite Jimmy's quiet nature, the boys determine he's the angriest of the four, while Roston Bob tells a story about breaking a guy's orbital bone at a KoRn concert. K.Y. Gnard returns with another Kinard's Corner in which he tells the story about a waiter in Fargo hitting on him. An important question about what you should call getting high and masturbating leads to an intelligent discussion of the topic as the Gnards choose sides.
Derek Thomson of Apex Trail Construction joins the Gnardcast this week and barely gets a word in about building trails, despite having traveled the country coast to coast designing trails for everyone from small municipalities to pro riders like Eric Porter and Tyler McCaul. He's currently working on a project east of Zion National Park. Derek gives some insight into trail building, but everyone is too distracted by how high Sponch is to pay much attention to anything else.
The boys talk about the mini horses, a topic that Gnards seem unwilling to let go of, and also update everyone on the massive amount of injuries and ailments fellow Gnards are suffering. Jimmy dedicates a baiku to these fallen dirt soldiers. There is a full Mail Sack, which is emptied as quickly as possible, and a new segment called Kinard's Korner makes its debut with a beautiful story about lot lizards in Massachussettes.
This week Boston Rob makes up for all past mistakes by getting the legendary Josh Bender as a guest. Bender and the boys discuss hucking huge cliffs, mental prep, cannabis, and Bender's new shuttle company, Shredding with Bender. Bender tries to convince Cheef he can send the original Bender Sender, gets us all caught up on what he's up to now, and tells us what he thinks of the current state of freeride and judging Red Bull Rampage.
69 Moose Knuckle 420 tells the boys about wearing the Gnar Couch "Blow Me Up" balloon shirt as he trains younger Marines, and how he had to explain to a major in the Corps why he was wearing the shirt and what a looner is. Being boomers, the boys discuss interest rates on car loans after deciding it's a good idea to take out a payday loan to buy a new bike. Sponch breaks down his new Canfield Balance build with parts from Take a Hike Shop.
This week's guest is pro skier Ryan McElmon. When Ryan isn't skiing for Monster Energy, POC, Saga, and other sick sponsors, he rides mountain bikes real fast. Ryan tells the Gnards about hitting 110-foot jumps in ski competitions, running over marmots, making babies cry, raging on cabinets, hockey fights, and getting covered in cow shit at Pomerelle.
The boys bring on several Gnards to discuss things like "looners" (people who are in love with balloons), the #TwistedHoses showdown between StuntCock and Terry Carter, and Chief pays tribute to Sponch with a heart-warming audio card. This show is easily a 2 out of 10. Boston Rob remembers a fellow shredder and good friend who took his life two years ago.
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The boys invite Tec-Gnar's Dustin Carlson to join them this week. Dustin does custom MTB paint jobs you've seen all over Instagram. He is self-taught and incredibly talented, unlike the Gnar Couch staff, who begin their interview with him by asking about Marky Mark. Feeling "Good Vibrations," Dustin plays along and eventually explains how he designs and paints bikes, components and apparel. Dustin offers up Gnards a great deal on his custom Hand Up gloves, knocking five dollars off the price with the promo code "gnar couch."
Sponch calls in sick, asking for Gunther's "Ding Dong Song" as his Sponch Tune. Bahastahn Rahb's computer decides to update right before the show starts so there are no drops or audio until the last 10 minutes of the show. The boys and fellow Gnards choose sides in the "Twisted Hoses" showdown between Gnards and firefighters Terry and Clayton. 69 Moose Knuckle 420 cheers Rahb up when producer things won't work. A conspiracy hypothesis emerges in which Bill Gates, Jack Dorsey and Mark Zuckerburg are teaming up to shut Gnar Couch down.
The Gnar Couch Podcast celebrates it's Sweet 16 with Cody and Stu from the Suspension Syndicate. Chief manages to ask about three legitimate questions about suspension before the conversation is derailed by Stu telling the Gnards he had a dream about the podcast the night before. After that, the boys revert back to more typical topics not related to bikes like killing evil mini-horses and whether or not it's OK to have sex with pets.
Joey Russell from Take a Hike Shop Zooms in to get us updated on the whereabouts of the CushCock, which is now apparently stuffed inside some i9 wheels. Jimmy explains his white trash roots, growing up one town over from Virgin, UT, and Boston Rob only fucks up 4-5 times, an improvement over last week. Jimmy and Chief recount their weekend in Virgin, marveling over Danny Mac's and Dustin's riding.
Sports medical doctor Jason Brill is the only smart person in the room when he visits the Gnar Couch Podcast to talk about important things like avoiding injuries and rehab after a crash. After answering two normal questions, Gnar Couch listeners ask the good doc about gluing their asses shut and taking laxatives.
Producer Boston Rob plays drops at random times. Sponch that splitting his skull when he was seven might be the reason he's not smart. Cheef asks Boston Rob who is Jewish what a "Jew helmet" is. A listener named Rub a Dub writes a poem about the Gnards, and Cheef empties the Mail Sack with Jimmy's help.
World Cup downhill racer Joey Foresta joins the Gnards this week. Instead of asking him interesting things about his bike setup and racing pro tracks all over the world, the boys inquire about Joey's love of Birkenstock sandals and the time he crapped his pants on the Wasatch Crest. Joey admits he thought he may have become a murder victim after driving way up in the mountains to Chief's cabin, and then asks Sponch a legitimate question about whether or not Sponch is legally allowed to be around children.
Sponch is targeted in the Mail Sack. They Gnards give away a pair of socks to a U.S. Marine, even though he loses this week's contest. Boston Rob continues to laugh at everything.
Having no content or guest, the Gnards pretend they're SNL or a female comedian, but instead of relying on predictable Trump and sex jokes, they digress back to dick jokes.
New producer Boston Rob joins the show, saying it's always been his dream to work in radio. Then he laughs uncontrollably at things that probably aren't that funny several times.
Gnar Couch team rider Dustin Smart drops a new freeride video with a script that's even better than the riding. Hilarity ensues.
Chief discusses his recent stint in Facebook Jail and introduces a new segment called Mail Sack, while Sponch reads a post he found online about slappin' it in the woods.
In all, the show was a solid D-.
Following the advice of a former radio co-host who was fired by a douchey radio consultant, Chief decides against booking a guest this week. This was probably a terrible idea as the show regresses back to conversations about "whorcestershire" sauce, Chief riding Sponch like a horse, and revelations that Elliot Page is hot, whether they are a man or a woman. The boys don't even attempt a legitimate discussion of future MTB tech, but instead elect to ramble on about inverted-inverted forks, oval wheels, and suspension cranks. Chief admits a dark and damaging secret.
Lance Canfield returns to the podcast to talk about Canfield Bike's two new rigs, the Tilt and the Lithium. The Tilt is a short-travel 29er with modern geometry, while the Lithium fills the long-travel 29er void.
Joey Russel from Take a Hike Bike Shop (the Sponch Tune sponsor) joins the show and the boys come up with a new promotion for him called the Golden Dicket.
A girl criticizes the boys for not considering an "I'll Sit on Your Face" shirt, then suggests that everything is a butt plug if you're brave enough. Everyone is surprised there is a girl listener. Sponch asks a terrible question that results in Jimmy saying he'd snort his dead dad's ashes. The crew gives a t-shirt to a guy in Australia with "The Mouth Game." "Rubbery Raincoat" sends a follow-up to Jake's kind email, telling the boys they're morons. Chief reads product descriptions from the Gnar Couch Store, which include "bisleevual shirts," beanies that will help retain lice, and face masks that help spread COVID.
Well, the boys have made it to 10 episodes, and aside from having pro slopestyle rider Josh Hult on the show, it's still terrible. Josh, who has competed with and bested legends like Dennis Enarson and Ryan Nyquist in competition, talks about his long career as a rider with Redline and Mongoose, balancing a regular job, family life, and riding in pro events like Red Bull Joyride. Chief reads an encouraging DM, then follows it up with another one from a seemingly drunk follower that makes no sense. Sponch asks an important question dealing with oral and genital feces. Jimmy brings the heat with a fresh baiku about his hesitancy to hit a jump. The boys, along with Josh Hult, try to figure out exactly what defines a MILF.
This week, Jaiger Snow from Tngnt Ski Bikes joins the boys to talk about those crazy ski bikes you've been seeing more of in the past couple of years. It turns out ski bikes might be the perfect crosstraining tool for freeriders. Other discussions include:
- At what age do men lose their minds and start recording videos of high school kids?
- How to order Chipotle if you're a black metal singer.
- Can we incorporate pirate metal into our "Salt Lake Sendy" video?
- Jimmy's baiku about being the Gnar Couch.
- Sponch's claim that his penis is the Space Shuttle Challenger.
- Satanic mini-horse sacrifices in Gnar Couch hoodies.
Try it, you'll hate it!
Professional photographer Steve Lloyd joins the boys to talk about taking sick photos, making sick edits, and his path to becoming a professional action sports photographer. Two great listeners join the podcast to tell Sponch, Jimmy, and Chief how dumb they are. Chief convinces Sponch to look up "lick king dot com" on the cell phone his parent still pay for. It results in an MA-rated conversation. The boys discuss the possibility of doing play-by-play for Only Fans. Sponch gets coffee hiccups. Parents send in audio of their kids talking about Gnar Couch, which reaffirms Chief's hope for the future.
Chief forgot to book a guest so the boys take questions from listeners, discussing such important MTB-related topics as storing food and water in bodily cavities, road-raging through town with giant tractors, and how to make the world a better place by lacing water supplies with ecstasy. Somehow a semi-serious conversation about SRAM vs. Shimano erupts. Sponch determines he would rather shoot himself in the head with a high-powered rifle than listen to Creed, Nickelback, Imagine Dragons, or Five Finger Death Punch, while Jimmy says he'd rather drink his own prison pocket water. Chief messes up the sponsor read for the only sponsor the show has.
This week, Mike Randol from The Lost Co. joins the boys to talk about starting Youtube channels, business strategy, and entrepreneurship before the Gnar Couch crew derails the conversation into hentai bike porn and meth as a possible pre-workout. Sponch tries to use the podcast to sell his Transition Smuggler (Only $2400!), Chief explains that he bought the white Huck to Flat shirt for wet t-shirt contests, and Jimmy Sniper swears on the podcast for the first time. Also discussed: Do you need a downhill bike? Poaching pro riders' lines in Virgin is bad.
Former Nitro Circus rider and all-around rad dude Ben Voyles drops in to talk superman seat grab bar spins, single-color riding kits, Neature vids, and how to prepare mentally for going huge on jumps and life. Sponch explains that his name actually means "marshmallow cracker," listeners Sir Steeze and Holli (yeah, a real girl) talk fancy jungle juice and which drinks are best for underage drinking (not that we encourage that), and the show derails with almost no real discussion about mountain biking as usual.
Tyson Henrie, someone who actually contributes to the MTB community by coaching the Outlaw Bike Team, balances out the pointlessness of this week's podcast when he talks to us about coaching kids, including Those Mallen Twins. Jimmy clears his throat during the intro and Chief plays the wrong Sponch Tune as the boys regress back to a 1 out of 10 in this week's podcast. Also discussed: testicular ASMR and how shitty EDM is, and Brandon Semenuk's new edit.
Chief announces the podcast's first sponsor, www.takeahikeshop.com, which leads to the boys coming up with several pitches for Mark Cuban and Shark tank, including a tire insert made of dildos and a fish sex website called Only Fins. Shreddin' Black Collar rider and Evil Bikes industrial designer Mike Giese joins the boys to talk about riding manuals, Taco Bell, wearing all black all the time, and Evil's DELTA suspension system. Sponch trades in his Five-Tens for Sperrys, and Jimmy Sniper suggests we start a Gnarcasting Couch. Chief does his best Scott Stapp impression.
Legendary freerider and bike designer Lance Canfield, of Canfield Bikes, joins the boys to talk about hucking cliffs and designing bikes. Sponch says he likes hitting animals on the trail and Chief fears he may become a serial killer in the future. Sponch also refuses to give us details about his failed attempt at dating a girl. We evaluate last week's first show, and Jimmy Sniper snipes Chief with a sarcastic comment.
In the first Gnar Couch podcast, Chief of Staph—who has 20 years experience in radio and no talent—tries to lead a show that also includes two other co-hosts who have never even spoken into a microphone. Sponch’s mullet and Chief’s resemblance to Tom Petty are discussed, as is Jimmy Sniper’s 70 m.p.h. wheelie. Luckily, Kickstand joins the show and saves it from being completely terrible when he tells us his grandma listens to Obituary in her Prius. Then Sponch suggests a Gatekeeper song for you to shred to.