The Brain Scrub: Recent Episodes
Glen Sollors
The Brain Scrub is a somewhat improvised look at Mental Health. Our patterns of thinking are created over a lifetime and sometimes that thinking can lead to stress, anxiety, depression and feeling like nothing is going right. Been there, done that. It is now time to move on. My vision is to create a world of peace, connection and love by first, being that within ourselves.
The brain scrub is about knowing that our cluttered brain needs to be scrubbed once in a while so that we can break out of what is not working in life so that we can have greater control over our present and future. I will be sharing my story, experiences, tools and expertise in helping you clean things up so you can live your best life.
I am not an expert and am a leadership trainer, consultant coach and spent the last 15 years on a self-awareness journey. I will share with you what I practice. Please seek professional help to deal with trauma, depression, personality disorders, etc.
This podcast is inline with my vision of leading with my heart, being goofy, relaxing and loving deeply. I hope I can add some levity to your brain scrubbing journey.
We apparently live in a more 'connected world'. Through the internet, answers and friends are at our finger tips. What are we possibly missing out on with this reality? According to some studies, North Americans have high rates of depression. Could this be one of the causes? Is this reality creating the opposite of connection - disconnection and loneliness?
Many of us are driven to do better, try harder, be our best, and in many cases, all on our own. In this episode we explore the power of ordinary with community in mind.
Jeff works with Glen in the episode on his need to force dialogue in order to feel safe. It's important to note that beliefs we have, either limit or enable our behaviors - hence the dialogue on trying to shift them from what we learned earlier in life.
I am pleased to introduce a new co-host. Jeff and I have been amazing friends since 2006 and both have self-awareness experience. many challenges we faced, and as a result, have become stronger men resulting in greater authenticity. We have learned about the power of personal agency and I am looking forward on taking on this new journey with a dear friend and at times, my support person. This episode is about the power of social connection.
My wife and I recently returned from Vietnam, a communist country. I took many valuable lessons away but the main one was, how life is so much more content and peaceful when you know everyone has your best interests in mind. This not only reduces worry, fear, greed, the unhoused, but also attachment to negative thinking. Three weeks here provided me an opportunity to start letting go and trusting. I commit to doing my best to continue this and overcome my limiting beliefs.
10 tips on what I am and have used to live into my best life and one of self-love and gratitude.
Many parents find out about this criminal like act after its too late. My hope is that this song makes a difference in this World. https://sonauto.ai/song/53e1ed50-5bac-408b-903b-7a2c6f1f4b85
Youtube: https://youtu.be/YgoEmfXbq0k?si=iTui3_lLz50gImb8
Original Lyrics:
Like a coward I lived my early life,
Never could stand up to an abusive x wife
Guys like me sometimes learn too late,
Feared speaking up in a cloud of hate.
Then you were born and I loved your touch,
Playing around, being goofy, i adored you so much,
When you were four your mom left me,
Thank god, she set a coward free.
We lived separate lives and I found new love,
An integrated family was something I could never dream of.
I parented you in a fog of fear,
Your mom didn’t trust me so wanted you near.
Never seemed to have time alone,
Constantly being checked up on monitored via telephone,
Are you safe, are you okay,
Did your dad take care of you today.
Never free to be with you,
I always felt I was being scolded by a shrew.
Day by day it ate me away,
As she threatened to take you one day.
When the Lion in me was set free,
I expressed to her a clear boundary.
That was the day this all went to shit,
3 months later you recited your moms break away skit.
I tried to fight for you,
In the midst of threats if I do.
Sadly the court listened to lies,
Many targeted parents like me cast aside.
I will never give up on you and me,
Despite estranging my whole family.
Parental Alienation I suspect is at play,
Many like me likely won’t see out kid another day.
What is left are broken hearts,
Believing the lies, not the smarts.
Fabricating stories to make one’s claim,
And displaying behaviours of no personal blame,
I wish I knew back then what Is share in this song,
I missed out on your life for far too long
History repeats itself i now realize,
Fatherless kids may have the same demise.
When one is faced with silence and lies,
Rationality and justice won’t listen to the cries.
One can’t beat the anger, ego, and hate,
The other may have a disorder and have power to manipulate.
My wish for you and me,
Is we grow up with less insecurity.
Should I die before we get old,
Please fight against alienation be bold.
You will always be part of me,
On that note, for now I will set me free.
To all those abandoned parents out there, please stand strong,
Be brave, be bold, live your best life and share this song.
Chorus:
Stealing a child from a loving parent that cares,
Not working together so both can share,
A family law system that refuses to see the light,
Another child, parent and family never to unite.
Whether you lost connection with a friend, sibling, or your child, it's a good time to reflect on what you can learn about yourself and whether your actions or inactions had anything to do with it. Of course, parental alienation cases are far more difficult as you may be dealing with an alienating parent that is out to get you, one that has a high conflict personality, or one who is determined to meet their agenda: I win - you lose.
This episode is about the power of Internal Family Systems understanding and therapy, amongst other things.
I am approaching retirement and now realizing the struggles of leaving a life-stage where I am compensated to be needed. This becomes even more of a struggle as an alienated parent.
I know all too well of the impact of being estranged or alienated. Justin, the biological father of the killer in the recent Tumbler Ridge tragedy, was, and according to his statement, not based on his desire to not be part of his child's life. Too often we praise single parents for the hard work they do - what if, that single parent never let the other one in (Unless due to legitimate reasons such as ongoing physical and mental abuse)? Family law in my opinion, needs to start paying attention to these situations and in my experience, our many calls for reform of how we manage family challenges and systems, are being ignored in Canada and many other parts of the world. Some countries are starting to get that mental health issues, start with the parents and/or the environment or dynamic they create.
My heart and tears, as well as my anger and sadness goes out to all those impacted by this tragedy. I can't begin to imagine what you are going though.
Yes, these are the similar to the famous words of Bad Bunny. With the recent mass murder in Tumbler Ridge, BC, Canada, I am reminded of how we all can contribute to a world with more love, acceptance, support, and awareness of mental health so that tragedy's like this one, end.
We all have it. What is it creating. I see a divided world where we are being made to believe that we are more important than others. We need to protect ourselves and if we don't, shit is going to hit the fan. What is the consequence? This episode is about the importance of critical thinking in a world where it is easy to succumb to our biases.
...and yes, I am angry about this. My plea is to focus on the facts, not the story.
Almost 9 years of no contact with my son - why? Some of us are influenced in a false narrative which is addicting and serves us in many ways. Look at what is going on politically as an example. Sadly, these 'stories' can put relationships at risk and this is one reason why alienation occurs. Today I share some of my insights!
Correction: My son was 4, not 2, when we separated.
In this episode I review a book that was so captivating, engaging, and enlightening, that I read it in 2 days. The book is titled 'The courage to be disliked' by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga. This is my favorite book and highly recommend reading it. As someone who likes to please others, which causes suffering, I now have tools to be okay with being disliked.
Being an alienated parent is not easy, especially when lies are being spread about you on social media. We may be hurting, but imagine what the child is feeling and what the hate may be causing them. As an alienated parent - we are strong, know the truth, and can still live our best life without being on the same journey as your child.
I have learned a great deal about living my best life by learning and growing from challenges I have faced. Some of our fears are valid and many are due to the negative story we tell ourselves. This episode is about using these moments to create a better and more powerful self - where we cause our desired future based on new and improved actions.
In this episode I share the power of a calm mind - free to connect with and learn from our body. I also share a bit about how to manifest a more content state with others that may trigger us.
What do you do when in conflict? How do you survive it? What do others feel about your style? In this episode I share my ChatGPT therapy on what healthy and loving relationships look like and what the right behaviors look like.
Recently I learned more about the life of John Candy in the documentary, 'I like me.' We all have stories and I believe we should share ours so that the small world we can influence (Our friends and family), can realize we are unique and there are reasons for how we behave and live our life. Understanding leads to greater family consciousness.
To my Canadian Listeners, Happy Thanksgiving!
This episode is about how I can get in the way of connection with others by disempowering them through my control. Thanks to my best friend for helping me realize this truth.
Are you being lied to, being belittled, chasing love, or just ended a toxic relationship. In this episode, I share ways to recover by learning what, within you, needs to change? For me, it is assert my interests, don't compromise who I am, set boundaries, and address conflict.
I used to. This episode is about the importance of being with chosen friends at a deeper level so problems can be discussed and addressed versus stressing out about them.
In this episode I am chatting with my niece about her experience of divorce and what works and doesn't as a child going through it. Her caring and thoughtful words hit my heart and any parent going through a divorce would benefit from her words.
Who do you feel dis-empowered with? Who empowers you? Which do you feed? This episode is all about the importance of regaining our power.
Some people achieve retirement and sadly pass away soon after. Moving to retirement can be stressful as its a major identity shift. In this episode, we chat about options in overcoming these challenges.
My tagline has changed to something more meaningful to me. In a world where life seems at times 'very alone', managing self and taking proactive and positive action may lead to less stress and avoiding possible burnout.
I have made this celebration point!...Part-time. I am struggling in some ways and this episode exposes why and what is possible, possibly.
One thing I have learned is that I want to belong. The challenge is that after the training I did to build a stronger me, others didn't belong. I learned to never forget those people who love you and not to leave them behind in your journey.
If you are alienated from your child, you likely can relate to this episode. Over protective parents are everywhere and the consequences may be contrary to what you believe. Some protective parents may have trauma that informed their way of being. They may have learned that in order to not lose someone, I need to protect them. In this episode I share some insights I learned from chatgpt and my own life.
I am not diagnosed and in this episode I share what social anxiety may be, for me, and what it feels like.
On Feb 21 at 1:25 pm, a 5.1 Magnitude earthquake hit coastal BC. It was bum shaking and this new US administration, head shaking.
This episode is a result of my last episode - which was a bit of a rant. Thanks to all those Americans that believe in the power of our global community, interdependence, collaboration, and peace.
Need to say first of all, their are millions of Americans who this episode does not apply to and sorry for my harsh words. Key message is to make efforts to do what the republican leaders don't want you to do: Be a critical thinker. The party seems to thrive off the leveraging points of power, stupidity, and fear.
Yesterday was the day I saw evil in the eyes of top republican members. I can choose not to support these billionaires. Self-Interest doesn't create community and peace - it creates fear and unhealthy power. Bye Bye Facebook and Amazon Prime.
It's taken a lot of work, understanding, compassion and letting go of my fears - and I believe, thanks to all those out there that offer their stories and insights, I am one step closer to peace. Have a listen and reflect on how I am letting go of a future I want, but can't control or influence, so I am choosing a different path.
In many countries, efforts to change the family law system to one that treats alienation cases like a criminal case by identifying the facts, is not working. I hope this episode shines some light on what often hides in the shadow.
Right vs. wrong. What is right and what is wrong. Well, that depends on our mental model. We all have them and if we take the time to understand what they might be, we may all have a chance to build a stronger and sustainable global community. BTW, the museum that I couldn't remember the name of is Pearl Harbour.
The 2024 US election is an example of how people in power positions role model bullying - both sides. Yet, we are trying to teach our youth to not bully. Maybe, to bully, is to be human, and, we do have a choice. In this episode I address how I cleared the air with a bully in my life and my hope is you can do the same. To hate, is to carry negativity in our life, and clearly, most of us carry a lot of that around (As per scientific studies - "According to the National Science Foundation, 80% of our thoughts are negative and 95% of our thoughts are repetitive."
A big shout out to DW news and the amazing job they do in presenting the facts, not the fiction. They inspired today's episode as I watched a great video on Climate Change and why, despite our know how, things are getting worse, not better. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MK3wf_17hxY
This episode is how to get more motivated to commit to changing. All the best in your change efforts!
Most of our habits are created at a young age. Who teaches us...our care givers? Some of those ways of being with them may be creeping up now as an adult and could risk a healthy relationship. In this episode, I share a bit about my awareness about this.
We all have core needs that impact how we communicate and show up in the World. These needs are not necessarily new and when we were younger, we learned behaviours and strategies to get what we wanted. Very likely, these ways of being are showing up in aspects of your life now. How are they working for you and what might be the impact on others? In this episode I chat about mine.
In this episode, I chat with a good friend about the challenges and gifts in parenting a child with ADHD. As a father who had a son with OCD, ADHD and Anxiety, I could have really benefited from hearing these words of advice YEARS ago.
In this episode, I chat with a good friend about the challenges and gifts in parenting a child with ADHD. As a father who had a son with OCD, ADHD and Anxiety, I could have really benefited from hearing these words of advice YEARS ago.
Ahhh....to be content. In this episode, we will explore that and my possible methodology of achieving greater contentment.
I need to say nothing here about this episode other than what would life be like if you didn't worry about mattering?
Quite often people complain about others. What do we get out of it other than a bit of "I am right, they are not", support from others, care, but void possibly of agency. By seeing our part in how life plays out, we are better able to manage situations, remove some negative thinking from our lives and hopefully go to sleep with a clear head. That is what this episode is about.
Just returned from a trip to Japan and Indonesia which was eye opening. Other parts of this world are so content and happy - why? Happiness starts from within. I asked a couple of Indonesians: "Do you love yourself?. The response was "Yes, of course!". Another one was "Yes, if not, I would be struggling up until now." Those words inspired me to be happy with me, what I have and the community I am blessed to be part of. Thanks to my friends from the UK for an outstanding travel experience!
In this episode I talk essentially about how many of us 'play it safe' and the impact of not asserting our interests or listening to others, has an impact. We are all humans doing the best we can and in conflict, if we can truly see the other person and understand their perspectives and take action, in my opinion, we would be far better off in creating a better world.
If you have grown up perceiving you were not heard or understood, and maybe still feel that way, this episode may help you out.
First of all, shout out to Madi who has an inspiring and educational Youtube Channel titled the Anti-Alienation Project. Her website is https://www.theantialienationproject.com. I have learned so much from her and what an alienated child goes through. Also, thanks to Joe Rogan who had Johann Hari on his show who has written a book on Motivation. This episode is based on his writings in "Lost Connections".
In this episode I interview Shannon who specializes in Psychotherapy in her own practice. She shares her expertise, kindness and caring in how to best manage oneself as a targeted parent. Learn more about Shannon at https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/therapists/shannon-elgert-psychotherapy-prince-rupert-bc/1086267
Thanks Loyal Listeners and I have changed the name of the podcast to spread the word of my journey as an alienated parent. ('The Brain Scrub' was the former name) I find its so helpful to share stories, ideas, and more with others going through this about how we cope, so we don't feel as alone. The show content is still beneficial for anyone who is trying to optimize their mental and physical health.
Thanks for listening!
In this episode, I am not talking about limiting beliefs like "I am not good enough", I am taking it to a level deeper. You are about to find out how to get conscious about the unconscious. Fast forward after this episode was published - I think I am living into "I am worthy of being rejected".
Stories change lives. Silence changes nothing. I hope that I amongst the thousands of others out there sharing their story, will make a difference in how Family Courts manage and reunify families at risk. Too many suffer the consequences of inaction. The abuse of children must stop.
I learned the hard way and I hope you don't. My trial and error led to more error and more trial. I don't feel any further ahead other than in my journey of love, self discovery and self actualization. Desperate times don't always call for desperate measure when you are dealing with a force that you can't win against.
In this episode I talk about an aha moment I had based on a conversation I had with a dear friend. It is amazing what friends can teach you...things we may not be willing or open to see. Need some advice - ask a friend.
In this episode I share an experience where I was negatively impacted by someone who I believe is borderline. I hope you learn how to identify and protect yourself from these individuals as they are just being themselves and quite often, don't realized that what they are doing is wrong. They are just being themselves.
In all conflict, one thing to remember, most people are just doing what they believe they need to do; however, when dealing with those 10% who are high conflict and may have a personality disorder, things are very different and reasonable behaviours may not work. I discuss a bit about Bill Eddy's work and mix in some information I have learned from other podcasts as it relates to divorce and custody issues.
In this episode I share a bit about my experience with OCD and how I wish I would have known back then what I know now.
I am starting my journey on learning how social norms may not be 'normal' for all. This is the first of a series of podcasts that will shed light on how the 'typical' is truly, not so typical.
Ozzy Osbourne's song, Crazy Train, is a reminder to me of how when we don't seek to understand, we may go off the rails on a crazy train. This episode is based on a book titled 'How to know a person', by David Brooks. It is a great reminder of the importance of building relationships through listening, seeking to understand and putting our judgements aside. We are all human and in his book, he shares some great advice on how to build deeper connection.
Do you ever label people to be a certain way? Those negative people, the bullies, the ones that only care about themselves? We easily can easily cast an identity on others, but what about ourselves. What is our identity and how is it working for us? In this episode, I share some lessons learned.
In David Brooks book, 'How to Know a Person', he discusses the importance of building stronger relationship connections through being curious and knowing, we are all different. What makes us who we are? How does that inform how we see the world, see others and see ourselves. I do a little exploration on this topic in this episode.
I am so pleased to bring Jason Duncan on as a co-host. He is a great friend and will add a new level of energy, ideas and enthusiasm to the show. In this episode, we get into our strategic planning for the show and juggle some ideas around. A true Improv show.
The book titled 'The Unsold Mindset: Refining what it means to sell", is changing my life, today. This book is not just about sales, its about how one chooses to be in relations with self and others. It has inspired me to revisit and rebuild my purpose. Thanks to all those that contributed based on the questions I asked on what others see in me. My friends, family and community are a gift. Living with purpose makes life, for me, much more meaningful.
We only have a short time on this planet. What do you want from that?
A Racket is a persistent complaint about another. It is an avoidance and payoff tactic (Most of the time) and I will chat about this in today's episode.
https://www.davidagerber.com/blog/2021/1/10/rackets-what-are-they-and-why-they-matter
The present moment is all we have. How are you choosing to live it? Retirement is what many of us save and wait for. Some of us make it, some of sadly, don't. This episode is about what I realized this week about my work and the gift it is, and enjoying it is no longer an option for me. That and the life around me right now, is all I have in the present moment and I intend to make the most of it.
A little rant that may resonate with you. How much effort do you put into being noticed. STOP. You are enough. The struggle to get attention through social media has created not only a FOMO but tremendous sadness and insecurities that are driving us away from those who really matter - in many cases. I do generalize a bit in this episode and sorry for that. Be with those who are important to you, not the 1000's that are trying to focus on way to much and lose themselves in the process.
This is the last episode for 2023 - an episode of gratitude - a gift during the holidays. Talk to you in 2024!
In this episode I talk about how to let go of those stories that hold us back. This information is largely based on the book "The power of letting go" by John Purkiss.
This episode is based on the wonderful work of John Purkiss, author of "The Power of Letting Go". I will walk you through the steps to let go and my hope is that whatever is holding you back, no longer does. For me, it's my attachment to having a relationship with my son...for starters.
In this episode, I chat with a dear friend, Colleen, about the challenge of transitioning our identity whether due to retirement, work pressures or life circumstances. Colleen shares a bit about her challenges and what she has learned about living life in a powerful way.
Recently I fell in love with the Youtube Channel "The Anti-Alienation Project". The young lady has a range of videos where she shares her perspective from that of an Alienated Child. She and a recent conversation inspired this episode.
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfzOR3LLqL0fMtz_J_o4vjw
Busy? Feeling overwhelmed? Gadgets, social media, tv, video games, and the list goes on of what we spend our day listening to. What about taking the time to listen to you instead of searching for busyness outside of ourselves.
Defensiveness destroys countless lives and relationships. Lower our defense system and we may create peace rather than fear. I believe a lack of an ability to be open and honest with people is creating the mental health crisis that is growing in our world. Fear is the root of all evil.
This is the final in the series based on the work of Dr. Paul Conti and the Huberman Lab. In this episode I put everything together in how the reflection work done so far leads to choice. We need to generate the choice and how does one do that? You are about to find out...
I am continuing to chat about the work of Doctor Paul Conti and my own journey of self-awareness. In this episode, I discuss our defense mechanisms and how they impact our behaviours.
Part 2 of this mini-series based on the work of Dr. Paul Conti, gets into better understanding our trauma and the beliefs it may have created. I touch on our defense mechanisms as well. By knowing this, we are better able to manage our automatic reactions.
The Huberman Lab Podcast continues to be a gift in my life. In the last three episodes, he interviewed Dr. Paul Conti about Mental Health and the power of self awareness. This is part 1 of a mini-series I will do that reflects on his work and how it can be applied to my behaviours and beliefs.
Who can't you be real with? What need are they not meeting? Grasp that unmet need may be getting in the way of authenticity. What would life be like if you let that go?
I am a coward in some aspects of my life. A recent situation in my life shone a light on the fear that I hold and the consequences of that on myself and my alienated son. What I thought was being courageous, was in fact leading to more pain, sadness and anger. This video done by JulienHimself inspired me to get real with myself. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g0jvHNVrPjw
The book "Little Voice Mastery - How to win the war between your ears" has helped me realize that my little voice needs attention. This was triggered a few times this week. If I can step into and live the value I bring, that little voice will not disappear, but show up differently and not as needy.
Celebrate the champion within. A bit about what I got out of Woody Harrelson's, 'Champion'.
There is lots to be concerned about. What is that type of thinking doing to our ability to be kind? I this episode I chat about the unkind 'Glen' and what kindness could do for me.
Do you want to get someone's attention? Threaten them. What is the consequence? In this episode I discuss my challenges around threats and how I am ready to move beyond the fear they induce.
To be busy. What does that mean to you? What are you making busyness mean about you? For many of us, it is to show that we are living our life and adding value. What is the consequence of being busy? In this episode, I chat a bit about that.
Thanks to my best friend for inspiring this episode. We remain best friends through finding the gray area in polarized thinking.
Why do we compromise who we are? In many cases its because we have learned that who we are does not always fit into the 'mold' and I use that term intentionally.
You are who you are. Take it or leave it. If you are compromising in a relationship, what is that saying about who you are as a person? In this episode, I share my personal story around compromise.
It's been 9 years since my son removed himself from my life and 7 since I last saw him. This has left a hole in my heart has waited for his return to fill. That is not working! This episode is about how I have filled the hole in my heart with the most important person, me of course, and my wife.
Welcome to Season 2 of the Brain Scrub. In this episode, Carol shares her story on how a near death experience has led to a life free of this fear that many of us have - death.
Are you happy, healthy and comfortable? If yes, congratulations! You have wellbeing. Stress levels are increasing and those with Emotional Intelligence may have an advantage in achieving and sustaining well being. The challenge is that many have learned that emotional connection is a bad thing or others run away and don't process them. The smart phone is a great tool for that as it distraction as it allows us to enjoy the lives of others and escape from what truly matters, me and those in my life. Get connected to your emotions and in doing so, watch the heart based connections, grow.
Feeling grateful that my stepson and I now have a heart connection that seemed impossible before. It took me putting my ego aside and realizing the gift this child brings to this world. Step parenting is not easy and this episode has some great insights and advice on what to watch out for when creating a new family after divorce or separation.
I am honoured to have my New Warrior Training Adventure Brother on the show. He and I did a self-awareness Men's weekend through a Global Organization named the Mankind Project. In this episode, Tim shares a bit about his journey, the discoveries along the way and why this work is so important.
True friends are those that have your back and are willing to support and help you grow and become more self-aware. I have many and Darcy and Tamara are the type of friends where after each walk, I benefit from physical and mental workouts. It is a pleasure to have this husband and wife duo on the Brain Scrub.
We may see others as the enemy or that they are not one of us. That may be the case or is it stopping us from creating a more united, versus, polarized world? What would life be like if we could live in peace and in community? In this episode, I chat a bit about this and discuss an incredible book titled: 'It's not always depression', by Hilary Jacobs Hendel.
I had the pleasure of chatting with a dear friend I admire who made smart money decisions at a young age. One of the number one stressors in a marriage and in life is money. It doesn't have to be that way. In this episode, Jason talks about strategies to follow in making money work for you so you can retire early. He wrote an incredible article as well and you can find it at https://jasonduncan.substack.com/p/financial-freedom-basic-concepts-0d1.
Jerry Colonna wrote an amazing book with many insights that align with the life discovery that I have been through. His book, "Reboot" highlights how understanding our life leads to the availability of a more authentic, happy and resilient future. This episode are some of the thoughts that came up for me as I listened to this audio book, twice.
I may consider myself lucky to have the friends I do. With most, I feel I can be real and authentic with them...have fun and be at peace! This is not luck, it likely comes from a place that I have so much love for myself, that I can be more authentic with others which makes me 'real'. When I can be real, so can others and this builds connection and love. The old me was not real and as a result, friendships came and went. This episode discusses the importance of self-love.
Letting go is not easy and may lead to stress and negative health implications. In the book 'The Art of Letting Go", Damon Zahariades, brilliantly walks through the reason for letting go and the steps to take in order to do so. This has been one of the most powerful book I have read to date. It is not easy work and the process of getting there is very rewarding.
Love is the greatest gift and as the movie 'Love Actually', reminded us of, Christmas is a time to tell the truth. Truth can open up the doors of love and close the doors of dislike. "Love, actually, is all around us," we just need to be willing to see our inner road blocks to creating it.
Signs are hanging in many organizations saying 'treat our people with respect' - it is amazing that we need to remind people that we are also caring human beings who are doing the best we can. In this episode, I discuss some ways to not take things personally as sadly, many of us 'nice' people, deal with this. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LnJwH_PZXnM has some great advice that I share in this episode. Also, check out Jonah Hill's movie where he interviews his therapist. It is titled 'Stutz'.
IBS, anxieties, stress and many other challenges can impact our digestive system and our waste. Pay attention. In this episode, I share a bit about my experiences and some insights and additional learnings from Gabor Mate. The goal is, happy poop, happy you.
Identity and a sense of belonging is a basic human need. For many, this universe given right has been taken away or never been defined for us based on who we are, authentically. If we don't feel like part of something, it can rip us apart and spiral us into a feeling of helplessness, shame and possibly guilt. We all belong.
This interview with my dear friend, Mark Mitchell, is bound to inspire you to live today, as one day, this life, will end. He has always been an inspiration to me, not only in going after what you want, but how to treat people - through care, love and compassion.
Learning and growing about others helps us become aware of the importance of treating others as fellow human beings. Too often others are treated as not one of us, a curiosity, a burden, or a threat. Something as simple as asking a black person "Where are you from?", is an act of microaggression which can have an unintentional (at times) impact on the recipient of the question.
Tanya Talaga, wrote an amazing book titled 'All our Relations'. It opened my eyes, wider. Also, experiences and this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hDd3bzA7450, shifted my understanding and perspectives of what others who are not white males, go through.
What is driving your negative beliefs? They are there for a reason and they have served you. Are they still serving you? Motivations lead to actions and by understanding both, one is better able to move forward in a positive direction. For me, I am hard on myself and that leads to me trying harder. Both feed off the other which creates a vicious circle.
"Go to your room!" If you were just triggered by that, you may have experienced that phrase long ago when upset or angry. Personal emotional management is important and I believe for many of us, at a young age, we were taught to suppress them and not talk through them. In this episode, I discuss why running away will just keep us running.
Tony Robbins, in an interview with Jay Shetty, shared some of the details of his new book: Life Force. What I got from his insights and actions was that if I can focus on what is important, remove that which I can't control, I will optimize both my physical and mental health. Some things Tony does to contribute to his health are breathing exercises, hot and cold therapy, physical activity and more.
In far too many cases, parents alienated from their children is caused by the actions of the other parent. In this episode, I talk about what to look out for based partially on a podcast by Ryan Thomas in his series. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8U54NF_mAck
The mental health impact of alienation goes far beyond the emotional abuse the child may be enduring from the alienating parent - it stretches to estranged family members, the targeted parent and eventually may impact the child's future relationships.
A wonderful exploration with my dear friend, Tamara Paulin, that highlights the power of friendship and the benefits gained through challenging one another in our ongoing growth and development. Tamara has been instrumental in inspiring me to pursue the link between gut and brain health. Tamara is not just a funny lady, she is a top Amazon Author and you can check out her book series at www.tapaulin.com.
My guest today has done work with multinational organizations in helping build stronger leaders, teams and systems that support them. Dana is not only a dear friend, she is the Owner/Principal of www.danasimpsonconsulting.com. In this episode we chat about the importance of gracious curiosity, overcoming generalization and treating people as people, not our judgements.
First of all - I am looking for guests who would like to chat about their mental health experiences and what they have done differently to better manage their health. Email me at gsollors@gmail.com if you want to share your story and words of wisdom.
This episode is a celebration of brotherly love. A seed of renewed connection was planted today with my brother.
In school, we learn science, history, math, languages and more. These are all great but they don't tap into the core of our existence and the associated behaviors and impact on our communication - Emotions. In this episode I talk about accessing our emotions and how that leads to a more empowering life.
Black holes have so much gravity that they suck in everything around it. Do you love yourself so much that you have the same effect on others? In this episode I talk about the power of love and how without it, life may not feel as enjoyable. At the song says, "We're here for a good time, not a long time."
After about 7 years of being alienated from my son and 6 years of not seeing him, I have achieved emotional peace. How? It was not an easy journey and what I learned that if I pursue him, I become more attached to suffering and a lack of peace. By stopping the pursuit of what I wanted and believe is the right thing to do, my emotions were able to disconnect, including the associated stress. Time heals everything.
Too often a funeral is more like a reunification ceremony where the dearly departed makes way for relationship building. The recent funeral for my dear Aunt and Uncle who were loved by most, is a good reminder of the importance of family relations.
There is much to worry about at times. What is a worry? A worry is actually a made up event to something that may or may not happen in the future. If worries are keeping you up at night - what story is keeping your stress response up all night?
I hear sometimes from others, "Glen, you analyze too much." Yes, I do at times and yes, I am now authentic and freer to live a powerful and inspiring life. I am not held back by my programs...(Some of them were faulty).
I finally finished a highly recommended book by Mark Wolynn: 'It didn't start with you.' One of the most powerful books I have ever read and in this episode I share why and how our family history, like anything else, repeats itself. We do have a choic in the matter of things.
In part 2, we will start at the bottom of the emotional mountain and work our way up to the summit. Mindset is almost everything and what we think, we create. Much of the content in this episode is based on the book: 'Master your Emotions: A practical guide to overcome negativity and better manage your feelings.'
Anger = Action
Where do we learn how to manage our core emotions? We all have them and one that seems to be frowned upon is anger - yet, its natural and normal. In making anger wrong, we may actually be suppressing it which may have a far reaching negative impact on ourselves, loved ones, and the world. Join me on this anger journey and we well learn how to express it in healthy ways.
If we didn't know the dark, we would never see the light. Our shadow-self is an important contributor to who we are - the good parts and those we may not claim to have...yet, we see it in others. In acknowledging and connecting with our shadow, we are better able to reduce anxiety, hatred, anger and resentment. Turn around, see that shadow.
Ready to be with you? In this episode I will guide you through a meditation where you will have a chance to hear from something other than your mind - your body. What may it want to say to you?
If I control, I am safe. This may be a tough pill to swallow. The tougher one is: If I control, others don't feel safe. Worrying leads to control and control leads to disempowerment of others and a feeling of "I can't win." In this episode, I chat about my control and what to do about it.
Being friendly is important in most life situations. Being a friend to your child versus a parent can be challenging not only for the child, but your partner as well. In this episode I talk about the importance of having a united front through setting and sticking to clear boundaries. Respect, trust and safety all tie together and as parents, its our job to be that for our kids.
Cookie Monster on Sesame Street used to say that all the time. What did he get out of his constant want for cookies - more cookies. Humans are no different and we live in a compare and contrast world. This episode is based on some of the writing in the book 'Wanting: The Power of Mimetic Desire in Everyday life' by Luke Burgis.
I share a personal story on suffering I have been going through for the last 6 years with someone important missing in my life. It is this week where I detach from my suffering and refocus my efforts on what I can control - not what I can't.
Co-dependence is a mental, emotional and/or physical dependence on another. It can lead to stress, perfectionism, people pleasing, control and many fears. Knowing is the first step. Visit https://www.mhanational.org/co-dependency for more information.
Co-dependence can have a major impact on our mental health and sense of self.
It is easy to go down a path of taking life too seriously. We only have so many minutes to live! How will you choose your life? In this episode I share my personal experience around realizing fun is a choice.
Do you deal with difficult people? What do you think you are being? In this episode I provide a tool that can be used to take ownership in relationship breakdowns. Yes, you...even though you may think that they are the problem. The tool I share is based on the book 'Leadership and Self Deception - Getting out of the box' by the Arbinger Institute.
Happiness can be an endless pursuit. Happiness just is. It is defined as a state of pleasure and contentment. To me, that is the right here and the right now...not a worry state.
We want others to be happy for a reason. What is that reason? In this episode, we explore the impact of people pleasing and how it is not our responsibility.
Welcome to my podcast. After much figuring things out and being in line with my mission of being thoughtful, loving and goofy. I decided to share my wisdom of ways of dealing with anxiety, depression, sadness and living the best life.
I don't know how to chill. I never learned how to and in this episode, I share some ways to calm down our stress response so that we can achieve some calm in our storm. The Wim Hof method is one that is tried, tested and Glen approved.
Eight years ago I woke up in an ambulance. I know burnout too well. In this episode I share a bit about my experience, the reason we burnout and what to do differently to reduce the chance of experiencing it.