Finding What's True: Recent Episodes
Sarah Davis
I'm Sarah Davis and this is a podcast about telling the truth. It's about what you do when you look at your life and don't see much of your "self" in it. It's about quitting a corporate job, selling a house, buying an RV and heading out in search of truth and adventure. It's about leaping and trusting. Listen along with us as head into the unknown with our two kids, small white dog, and fancy cat. Let's go!
Hey friends, today's episode is the final episode of season one. We have been together for a year now and it has been so lovely! Thank you all so much for listening and being a part of the Finding What's True podcast community.
Of course not without a sense of humor the universe decided to school me on patience this morning, with some audio and technical difficulties, making this last conversation feel a bit like a limp across the finish line but I am offering it to you here with love, gratitude, and a grin for the always imperfect nature of making things. Especially things made early in the morning and while in this specific parenting season of life. Deep sigh.
Ahem, but I digress. Most of you know how I feel about Sister Corita Kent (total groupie) and today I bring us back around to one of her rules "everything is an experiment." Truly the only control we have is ourselves. If we can embrace this small hard truth than we can actually rest easy that there will be no wrong roads taken...each path simply gifts us information, to be observed, jotted down and folded into the next experiment. The trouble starts, when we stop taking new roads at all, when we put our heads down and plod along on a path already dug out by other folks. At first this seems easier than daring to step off into the wild meadows of this world, I mean you all know how I feel about snakes, but unless we do we will be left disheartened, angry, and empty. Because scaling a mountain, that wasn't even our mountain can do that - it can piss us off. It has to be our mountain, the one we truly want to climb or it's just not worth it...not even a little bit.
And with that, let's not be strangers. Let’s keep finding our truly together.
The podcast is wrapping up season one but the newsletter will still be reporting weekly. To stay in touch as we roadtrip in our Winnebago Brave this summer subscribe to the Finding What's True newsletter. I'll be sharing stories and photos from the wilds of the road with our two kids, small white dog, and fancy cat. And if you feel like being a paid subscriber that would be wonderful too. It would be like buying me a taco for the road. Because I’m sure gunna miss California tacos. And now I’m crying a little.
Lots of love always.
--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/sarah-davis58/support
I think we can all agree that we would love to be doing something that lights us up. We would feel lucky if we found ourselves no longer walking through our day, as if the whole thing could be glossed over and forgotten. The proverbial groundhog day. Misery on repeat. Boredom.
If, say, we could walk into our kitchen for that first morning cup of coffee or tea and already feel awake, excited, and filled with endless ideas...maybe even (gasp!) anticipation for what we get to do that day. This is what happened to Lani Fox, owner of Rosemallow Artisanal, and my guest on todays episode.
During the pandemic, when food shortages meant that even the little things were hard to find, Lani created a marshmallow so magical, beautiful and surprising that it literally blew her friends and family away. Using homemade extracts, fruits and herbs from her garden Lani created something unique and beautiful but the best part was she really really loved making them.
What I love the most about Lani's story is that she is also a scientist and she hasn't stopped being a scientist just because she also now runs a Marshmallow business. More often than not we have a romantic idea, that we have to quit one version of ourselves in order to pursue a newer version. But if both versions are serving you than holding onto both of them, and more if you like (insert she's also a mother of two) can actually help you to find balance and joy in ways that perhaps you had lost sight of.
What Lani has quit, however, is giving her time to the things that don't bring her joy. And when you stop doing that, you end up being who you actually want to be...somebody true and somebody awake and somebody making room for delicious things in their life…which can also sometimes mean you become a person who doesn't fold their laundry…because that is also who you want to be. And that is A-Okay.
I hope you enjoy today's episode to taste some of Lani's incredible creations check out https://www.rosemallowartisanal.com/order
They are truly amazing.
--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/sarah-davis58/support
On today's episode I have the distinct pleasure of having a cup of tea with Jaime Summer Handley of Monastic Mommas. We are in somewhat parallel journey's; as both of us are packing up and heading across the country (in the next month!), with our families but don't (as of this moment) have a new final address. Leaping into the unknown is tricky but especially tricky when you are in your mid-40's and towing small curious children around. There are a lot of questions from the backseat.
We chat in depth around the internal shifts towards hope, love, and possibility that an external move can conjure. The understanding that the good stuff in our lives never come to us as we planned, so we can ease up on that pros and cons list a little bit. Giving yourself to permission to listen to that inner voice whispering to you isn't always easy. We have to give ourselves permission to hear it and sometimes even give ourselves permission to not understand it. The learning happens on the journey. Walking the path brings understanding not the other way around.
Jaime studies the intersection of creativity and spirituality, exploring how the divine expresses itself through the unique creative voice we've each been given. She has a B.A. from UCLA in English Literature and a Masters in Spiritual Disciplines and Practical Theology from Fuller Theological Seminary. She is an author, contemplative and creative coach and homeschooling momma. She leads groups through the artists way and writes a weekly Newsletter which you can sign up for on her website.
Good Things:
https://monasticmamas.com/
The Clothespin Doll by Jaime Summer Handley
https://www.amazon.com/dp/0578825260/ref=redir_mobile_desktop?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1639963228&ref_=tmm_pap_swatch_0&sr=8-3
--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/sarah-davis58/support
Hey friends, I just returned from a weekend away with my sister. Things got real crazy (middle aged women crazy); I drank coffee (tea drinker) and ate focaccia (gluten sensitive). I've been bumping into chairs and struggling to form sentences the past few days. Suffice to say some lessons are hard to learn, even the ones that seem small and ridiculous. I am a tea drinker and I can't eat wheat without becoming reduced to a clumsier, crankier and more confused version of myself. That said I had to pour myself a cup of coffee to get this episode out - the withdrawal is real. Grace for all the versions of ourselves.
Mostly I was driving around and strolling with my sister in a state of curiosity and blubbering wide open heartedness (seriously tearing up all day long everywhere). Curiosity is something that has come up now in two books I've recently read; Joy-Full AF by Dr. Erin Baker where they talk about curiosity as one of the primary ingredients of joy and Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert where she talks about curiosity as simply the best operating system we have as humans.
I noticed it, this curiosity, over the weekend. I actually heard it's soft voice (my curiosity is so polite / it doesn't shout), where I usually just ignore it, and let it guide me a bit; I ended up in an Episcopal church (and I'm not Episcopal) listening to a roundtable of old ladies speak on how their faith has been tested and restored, I made an offer on a farm in Ohio (we didn't get it but it was still an amazing experience), and I fell in love all day long (again crying a lot) with the mommas and speakers that I encountered at the conference we were attending even when those folks were coming from wildly different family ecosystems than mine.
It left me emotional and in a place of deep love. I think this often quiet curiosity can be a key to finding grace in the chaos of our everyday. I'm going to now enter my house where my children may be crying, the dog may have peed on something, I don't know what we're making for dinner and the laundry has piled up. Curious indeed. Love and luck to us all.
Good things mentioned in today's Episode:
We are wrapping up season one of Finding What's True in May. I will still be sharing our journey over Substack, where I will be writing and telling stories from the road over the summer, so be sure to subscribe.
https://findingwhatstrue.substack.com/
Four Corners Studio:
https://www.fourcorners.studio/
St. Stephen's Episcopal Church:
https://ststephensslo.org/
Dr. Erin Baker:
https://erinmbaker.com/
Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert:
https://a.co/d/cCjB8bi
--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/sarah-davis58/support
I've been thinking about logic and desire all week. I had a coaching session with Dr. Erin Baker last week and it got me all up in my head about it, which is ironic because we both agreed my logical brain is taking up wayyy too much space in there. And here's the truth, I'm pretty uncomfortable with answering any questions connected to what I desire. Down to stupid stuff like "what movie would you like to watch"...insert shoulder shrug.
Let's just say I've come a long way in my codependence (thank you twelve step) but I still have galaxies to go. And since this is the case, my brave but neglected intuition is up a creek most days; because the truth is, the desire I’m talking about comes from that deep inner knowing which is always trying to lead us to our highest and best.
I was reading a wonderful newsletter by Mallory Leone of Four Corners Studio and she was suggesting an exercise, she had gotten from Pilar Lesko, where you take a portion of the day and try to just listen to your intuition and see where it goes...if it says go to left while driving go left, if it says call your mom call your mom etc. I thought this sounds interesting and very concrete (which my logical brain LOVES) I'll give it a go. I made it about half way through my first intuition hit before my logical brain shut down all the magic.
Rick Rubin says “Think to yourself: I’m just here to create” and I thought about that and wondered how our intuition is tied to that creative part of us, that part of us that is coming from a place of honest desire. And if we listen to it we might just find our way into a better version of our day than we had so carefully planned.
So on today's episode I'll share a little about how I did not in fact get to start my Monday out with a warm bath but ended it by creating a beautiful dinner of cereal and strawberries for my kiddos.
Links to good things:
finding what's true, substack
https://findingwhatstrue.substack.com/
four corners studio, mallory leone
https://www.fourcorners.studio/
joy-full af; dr. erin baker
https://erinmbaker.com/
the creative act; a way of being by rick rubin
--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/sarah-davis58/support
Ok, so I shared yesterday in my newsletter, that I'm in full perimenopause and it is rough people. The crank abounds over here. I woke up this morning with my head in my hands and just thought "nope, just nope." And we all have those days, you don't have to be hormonal to relate to the feeling of wanting to go hide under your covers for the rest of the day.
On today's episode I share a few readings that have helped get me into a place of curiosity and perspective. Being who we are, right where we are, and allowing the story in our head to shift into wonder instead of assumption can be the best path forward. One cranky step at a time my friends.
Also, we will be wrapping up this first season of Finding What's True on May 8th! It's been so wonderful to be here with you. I'm taking a note out of Amelia Hruby's playlist and leaning into a more seasonal nature of creating. The plan is to return to the pod in the fall. And so if you would like to stay in touch and hear about all of our adventuring across America this summer head on over to the Newsletter in Substack. You can be a free subscriber and we can stay connected on this awesome and sometimes grouchy journey of Finding What's True.
Sending you lots of love.
Links to things you may love:
Finding What's True newsletter. Let's stay connected all year as we travel from LA to Minnesota in our Winnebago Brave!
https://findingwhatstrue.substack.com/
Joyful AF by Dr. Erin Baker
https://www.amazon.com/Joy-Full-AF-Essential-Business-Strategy/dp/B0BCS9JT73
The Creative Act: A Way of Being by Rick Rubin
https://www.shopthelastbookstore.com/book/9780593652886
Maxing out our Humanity speech by Oprah
https://www.livinghealthywealthywise.com/max-out-your-humanity/
Off the Grid podcast episode, by Amelia Hruby, on making your work more seasonal
https://open.spotify.com/episode/3OHDZDseuzEH7Qe868ofDb?si=-NEQYuj7R6KCaVf68GNDJw
--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/sarah-davis58/support
We made some big decisions this week, and then shocker!! We actually acted on them quickly. We have a plan for this summer, a bit of a "no plan" plan but I wouldn't have it any other way. We will be heading out on May 30th and leaving LA on a big ole roadtrip. Destination? Minnesota in the summertime! Mission? To find our new hometown!
On today's episode I talk about how joy can be enough to move you forward, if you actually have the gumption to acknowledge it. I was sitting trying to figure out why this plan feels so good vs. some of the other alternatives that we had discussed and I realized it was only because it felt so joyful. I forget about joy. I kind of make of fun of it sometimes or belittle it or mistake it for something else.
I've learned this year that of course there is no "wrong way" but lately I've felt that the path paved with the joy that is unique to you (this is important because your joy isn't mine) is the path that leads to your highest and best. Joy has a self-sustaining energy - it's weird. It's spacious. It allows so much of the unexpected to arrive and it makes the ego really uncomfortable so that's always a plus!
Annnnd, it's arrival can be enough to set us on a course towards something surprising and wonderful. Even if that surprise is just that we set down the laundry and went for a hike instead. It still counts my friends.
Notes from today's conversation:
Martha Escuedero | Fuego Storytelling
https://www.instagram.com/reclaiminghomes/
Orly Altaras | Women's Circle in Burbank
https://www.instagram.com/laraandlou/
Courtney Rice | Sunday Morning Hair
https://www.sundaymorninghair.com/
Slow Down Sister Monthly Zoom | April Gathering - on joy
Become a paid subscriber for $5 and join the conversation. We'd love to have you.
https://findingwhatstrue.substack.com/
--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/sarah-davis58/support
On today's episode I share some thoughts on the struggle with feeling the push and pull towards and away from the programmed version of myself; the one that thinks it needs to be moving forward on schedule, smoothly (i.e. perfectly) and consistently producing all the life things at all times. Which of course is in direct opposition to the actual human being version of myself which often goes off schedule, is rough and rocky and feels inconsistent most days in it's energy, inspiration or even expectations.
Undeniably this can bring up a lot of shame. You may find yourself having a full court press ego interrogation, laying in bed close to tears, just attempting to give yourself permission to come to a full resting stop. But no matter what, we have to remember that ease only ever comes from slowing down, dropping into honesty, finding gentleness and practicing kindness for the truth of what is -- not what should be. And the truth is we can expect to be human, and that is beautiful thing, no matter what state of "production" we're in.
Good Things:
Head over to my Substack https://findingwhatstrue.substack.com/ to see more very slow, radically imperfect attempts at making things while also mothering small humans.
--- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/sarah-davis58/support
As some of you know we are leaving California in June of this year. Hmmm, that's not so far away. And right now that's "the plan" ...as in that is all the plan consists of. It used to have more bones but now honestly we don't actually know where we are going or even what kind of house we are going to buy. We THINK we do and then...all of a sudden we get emailed a farmhouse in Michigan and suddenly we don't know ANYTHING anymore. Do I want a small house walking distance to a coffee shop in the Twin Cities or that old farmhouse sitting on five acres with an alpaca yelling at me for breakfast? I don't know! They both sound nice!!
Seriously, our plans are mush. They get built up, we get excited and declare "ok, that's it we're locked in!"and then everything dissolves into the dreamy black hole that is the incessant zillow search combined with my over active imagination. Because here's the thing, my brain is trying to think it all through and as the name of this podcast would suggest, I don't always know what's true for myself. I think I do but then I get all churned up in a fear soup and don't know which way is up or down or any which way around.
And that's the problem with thinking vs knowing; yesterday my daughter was looking very lost in thought and said "Mom...I know why they say you have to get back on the horse...it's because when you're thinking about something you're always going to be afraid but when you're doing the thing you know." From the mouths of babes my friends.
So if anyone knows of an alpaca farm that I can try out for a little while...let me know. Lots of love.
Good Things:
Head over to my Substack https://findingwhatstrue.substack.com/ to see more very slow, radically imperfect attempts at making things while also mothering small humans.
--- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/sarah-davis58/support
What would happen if we treated our attention as something sacred?! Amelia Hruby, creator of the Off the Grid podcast and Softer Sounds podcast studio says "You attention is sacred...I invite you to treat yourself and your time as sacred too." This stuck with me; persistently but gently, all week long it's been on repeat in my brain. In every moment I've heard myself wondering "hmmm, is this what I WANT to pay attention to?" Or more often, "Am I EVEN paying attention right now?" I time travel a lot in my brain - usually into the future. But as Amelia says "Treat yourself and your time as sacred too" and if we can do this it means that there will automatically be a reverence and where there is reverence there is love.
Listen in today and let's talk about how it feels to pay attention; to notice, as Rick Rubin says, what draws us in and what pushes us away. Where do we meet ourselves and our moments with love? And how can that bring us more deeply into the personal and specific, could only belong to us, beauty of our lives?
Homework Offering (Inspired directly from Rick Rubin's new book): Instead of watching the news this week; read a chapter in a great piece of literature everyday. Report back on how tuning into and paying attention to something beautiful makes you feel.
Good Things:
Check out Amelia Hruby's Podcast Off the Grid: she talks about how to build a thriving business off of social media, it's a beautiful listen and she is a good human.
https://www.softersounds.studio/off-the-grid
Pop-Up Book Club: Head over to Substack by March 10th to come join in all the fun. We're reading Rick Rubin's new book "The Creative Act: A Way of Being."
https://findingwhatstrue.substack.com
--- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/sarah-davis58/support
We all have intuition. It's the little voice that says "Hey, maybe you call that person, take this route instead of that one, sign up for that class, make this thing because you love it...not for any other reason,"...or in the case of my guest today, Orly Altaras, "Maybe you should sit on this bench" (she tells a great story about this). When we listen to the whisper, when we let go of why and how, we find ourselves swimming in the magic of synchronicity. It takes courage my friends but it's where we will find all the good things that are way beyond what we think is possible for us.
My guest today is Orly Altaras. Orly is a spiritual medium connecting people with their loved ones who have passed. She also teaches beautiful courses, guiding people to overcome their limiting beliefs, giving them tools to use their intuition, everyday, in the pursuit of clarity and purpose.
Today's chat goes deep into the divine guidance system that is our intuition; the prayer of our hearts nudging us home. I hope you enjoy the conversation.
Links:
To learn more about Orly's work visit her website: https://www.laraandlou.com/products/from-intuition-to-fruition or follow her on IG @laraandlou
More good things:
For more Finding What's True inspiration visit my Substack. It is truly wonderful; writings, poems, videos, drawings of my hands that look more like sticks. It's a good place to roll around in thoughts on what's true, what we make, and how to show up imperfectly in spite of it all.
Join us on March 5th @ 1pm pst for the monthly Slow Down Sister zoom session. This will be a gathering to commiserate and conversate on all the ways we can slow down, tune in and live a life that is less miserable and more true to ourselves.
https://findingwhatstrue.substack.com
--- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/sarah-davis58/support
My "little sister" (I put this in quotes because there's nothing small about her - she's 5''11' and larger than life most days) and I talk on today's episode about feeling lost early in life, seeking what brings you peace and joy, the slow journey to finding your meaning, and letting go of the worry around other people's judgements. Often we see someone doing life in a way that "we could never imagine" for ourselves; and that's only because that way of life isn't true for us. It wouldn't fit. But we compare and romanticize other people's lives finding questioning their choices, muttering to ourselves perhaps "sheesh, what is she trying to prove?" because we're afraid somehow that we're falling short of an idea that perhaps we don't even subscribe to. Everyone has days where they fall short, and that person we're comparing ourselves agains often is not in any kind of place of wanting to prove anything, they're simply taking the step by step everyday journey towards what honest to goodness brings them joy; if you're my sister, that means, parenting six kids hitting the CrossFit gym and waking up at 6am to milk a long haired cow.
--- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/sarah-davis58/support
Ok, so a bad day -- no one actually wants one. We want the good kind, where our kids are all angels, the chores all get done (like some sort of Mary Poppins, spoonful of sugar musical number) and everything feels golden and rainbowie (is this a word? i'm not sure).
But here's the thing, in the words of Kabbalah teacher David Ghiyam "a good day is a good day...but a bad day... can be a really really good day." And here's why; on the good days we get to rest, feel great, and maybe pat ourselves on the back for being so lucky to be living our blessed life...and we need these kinds of days, they're wonderful.
But a bad day, say for instance where your cat pees on every bed in the house, then your kid also pees on your bed, while you're trying to get ready for company, and while you were already overwhelmed and almost brought to tears by the simple task of trying to make a grocery list...this kind of bad day can be really really great. The greatness comes in the pause. IF we can pause (and I would say right now I only pause 50% of the time so there's that) and go hmmmm, interesting. "I wonder why is this in my movie? what a pleasure I get to overcome this freaking challenging day" (also another David Ghiyam quote except for the freaking part). This is an opportunity to practice!! Ahhh, I get to practice letting go of the need to control, practice sitting in discomfort, practice patience...whatever it is that we specifically / uniquely need to work on. When we have these "bad days", it is more often than not, a custom made scenario (from a loving universe) for us to work on our "s*#t". For instance in the face of seemingly insurmountable cat pee reeking laundry, we can stop and say "ohhhhh, this is gunna be a great day. I am not reacting to this and I am building and practicing my patience, letting go of the need to control -- i'm feeling like a super hero over here and oop, look there...I just found my sense of humor...I've been looking for that all week."
--- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/sarah-davis58/support
Hey friends, I survived my second solo-parenting week! Woohoo! Thanks to everyone who checked in on little old me. You're the best.
Today's episode is for all the folks out there juggling ten things, feeling completely overwhelmed, but simultaneously entertaining the idea of changing it up and learning to juggle rings of fire as well. Don't do that my friends. It's OK to set "it" down. There's SOMETHING (probably a few things) on your list that you can eliminate. I'm sure of it.
We get ask ourselves how we're feeling, and then care about the answer we receive. We get to listen to that inner voice and get ruthless about cutting away what doesn't work for us. Allowing ourselves to imagine what our this feels better day would look like. And following that truth no matter if it means our very exciting fire juggling show just got revised to throwing one ball (slowly) up in the air and catching it. Lots of love.
--- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/sarah-davis58/support
I tried to set down my "practice" this week friends; my writing, reading, drawing, making practice. It was all in the interest of what was going to be convenient while facing a solo parenting week. I sensibly decided I would sleep in and not even try to do any of my work. I thought I could just step out of the practice (it would be temporary after all) for a minute and imagined myself wearing my one mom hat walking through the week all easy breazey; ya know, to make it easier on me. Needless to say it did not go so well. On today's episode I'm asking the question how do we find a way to integrate our needs, our practice, our work, our time to connect with that higher version of ourselves when it's not even a little bit convenient? Especially when we know through lived experience that showing up for these needs is a non-negotiable. How do we take several non-negotiables (creativity and mindful parenting) and weave them together in a way that allows us to still hold onto ease and joy. I think it's different for everyone, perhaps a bit of a moving target, and is very much at the heart of what we need to answer to find a life that's true and uniquely ours.
--- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/sarah-davis58/support
How much sleep does a 44 year old woman actually need in order to string coherent sentences together? This is the question of the week...perhaps of my lifetime. I've been stealing time...taking it from my "sleep time" to use as my "work time" and I gotta confess it's catching up with me. So, what I've been wondering is, can we "make" time...just like a real life thing...sitting there...like a sandwich? One that we will get really excited about sitting down to eat everyday. Ya know, layering it just the right way so that the chips sit inside the bread and you get that soft but crunchy bite that makes you instantly want to reach for a pickle and then a sip of iced tea? I think it's all in the ratios. You don't want things slipping out all over out the sides; you gotta be able to hold the whole thing in your hands. So here's where I'm at; I want to enjoy my day. I don't want to feel tired when I'm with my kids or feel like I'm trying to sneak away from the rhythms of our family time to dip into "me time." But the "me time" must happen (daily) in order for me to actually be a version of myself that my kids will enjoy spending time with. It's a conundrum but I think it can be done; it may involve stretching the time space continuum but it's possible. I've got more questions than answers but let's talk about it.
--- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/sarah-davis58/support
Procrastination station; the music on this particular station lulls you into thinking there is a better more perfect time to do the thing you want to do. Right now is not the right most perfect time to accomplish x, y, or z. You will probably tell yourself you have other very important things to do (other than the thing you've said you really want to get done) like go buy parsley or clean your floors. I once waited all semester to write my one page play per week for a playwriting class. I had one week to write something like 32 plays. Let me tell ya the adrenaline was high and the joy was low. I'm a procrastinator; albeit a recovering one.
On today's episode I talk about my experiences with this particular hostage taker. This week I launched my Substack newsletter but not without a good deal of procrastination all the way up to the last week. We had illness in the house and I definitely used it as an excuse to put off doing the thing I wanted to do but was scared to actually do...which was sit my butt down and write. For me procrastination is always connected to perfectionism...and I deep sense of dread that when I sit down to do the thing I want to do I will be frozen and nothing will happen. Also that when I do share the the thing I'm working on my life will implode upon itself like some giant black hole of shame. Dramatic right. None of this has ever actually happened by the way. Something always happens when you sit down and give yourself the time to do the things you want to do. And I have definitely never experienced an apocalypse after making something, doing something, or finishing something.
I also talk about Lynda Barry's book Syllabus. After reading this book I had one of those; I can't believe this human has been alive and teaching and making things and I never knew she was here until now. I love it when that happens. Now I want to move to Wisconsin and audit all of her courses and bring her candy. I'll be diving into this book this week and sharing some of the magical stuff she has been exploring on social and Substack.
Link to the Substack baby below:
https://open.substack.com/pub/findingwhatstrue/p/beginners-club?r=1prog3&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web
Have a great week my friends, lots of love.
--- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/sarah-davis58/support
Determined doesn't always look like what you think (bathrobe, tea, Honda CRV homemade sound booth - check, check, and check). Finding what's true isn't always within reach when you're just thinking about whatever you are trying to figure out, do, become etc. That truth we feel in our body, which is so ultimate, doesn't become available until we move into the EXPERIENCE of the thing. On today's episode I talk about slowing down, paying attention, and telling the truth but more importantly telling that truth from an experience moved into only because of determination. We have to move into the experience of what we desire in order to tell the truth about ourselves. When we do this we are coming from a place of love not fear and that means we are healing - even in a bathrobe, in our garage, at three in the morning.
The Newsletter is launching next Sunday my friends. I'll share I am no more ready today than I was last week but off we go! Tuning the dial to love not fear and doing the thing you love, even imperfectly, will always lead to more true and beautiful things. Go get em. Stay determined and true. Lots of love this week.
Well my friends, my New Year didn't start out as I had anticipated. I got physically sick New Years eve with some sort of strange vague bug which put me on the couch and then woke up New Years day with a full on depressive episode. If I was a superstitious person, which I totally am, I'd say these are questionable omens. I've experienced depression since as long as I can remember (literally my first memories are of me looking up at my house as a four year old, squinting and thinking "what's the point of all this?" My early memories truly feel like an episode of Wednesday Adams on repeat. I was a delight let me tell ya) but I still forget what I need to do when it shows up to get out of it. It always feels like someone just flipped a light switch; Sarah's light is gone now and what we have left is just a dark quiet room; nothing to see here, just close the door and keep on moving. And in order to find that light switch I usually have to crawl around in the dark for a bit but I also have to remember as Glennon Doyle says "to take my damn meds." On today's episode I talk about depression, taking your "meds" (not simply the pharmaceutical kind), feeling around until you find that switch that needs flipping, and remembering to show up even when we feel like staying (aka hiding) in the dark. Lots of love.
On today's episode I tell a short story about the size of an eight year olds heart (infinite), barnacles, and how loving small things fiercely actually allows us to be larger than life. Lot's of love my friends.
Hey everyone, Happy Holidays. Here we are a week before Christmas if you celebrate that sort of thing. How are you all holding up? I will admit I've been a bit (as in totally very much so) of a Grinch over here. Not just about the holidays but I am feeling a bit sad (as in totally absolutely heartbroken) about my Artist Way course ending. And so on today's episode I talk about moving on and moving towards that "new thing" whatever it may be. Whether we're leaving a job, a relationship, or just the safety of a warm loving creative space - getting ourself to launch into what's new and get free of the old (even if it served us) can be tricky. We have to take good care of ourselves along the way and take small baby steps knowing that with each wobbly move we are building momentum towards what's true for us. Julia Camera calls it escape velocity and her theory is that anytime we try to take a leap of faith in our lives there will be a test which will present itself. When you decide to leave your job your boss will call to give you your first raise in ten years, when you make the decision to leave that toxic friendship your friend will buy you concert tickets, or when you're leaving the safety of something cozy and familiar you'll feel very very much afraid and perhaps have serval seeming failures which will make you want to run back cursing yourself for ever wanting something different etc. Our job is to be ready for the test, see if for what it is (a chance to prove to ourselves that we are serious about following our hearts, moving forward and putting our plans into action) and to navigate accordingly. Right now I'm sitting with the discomfort of this very safe and inspiring creative space coming to an end and noticing all sorts of fears coming up for my ego. In order to move past the fear (that without the structure of the course I will dissolve into oblivion creatively) and unfreeze myself I'm choosing to focus on doing the work of showing up, making meaning of the experience and using that meaning to carry my feet forward...one radically imperfect baby step at a time, building enough velocity to launch into that new next right thing. Lots of love my friends and Happy Holidays.
I just got back from a trip to Minnesota my friends. We're considering it as a place to relocate to so it was a scouting mission. I flew up to finally see the place in person but more importantly to FEEL the place. That distinction is a tricky one. I kept wanting to make sure I got to all the places during my short visit; the neighborhoods, the parks, the little main streets etc. to somehow collect all the facts, figures, details and distill them down into a big shiny answer. But that's not how we find what's true. We have to feel it out which takes a lot more courage because it takes us slowing way down to a snails pace...which I'll be honest often feels like dying. I don't want to slow down. I want to make a list and check it three times, weigh the pros and cons and pull the trigger. But I think what Glennon Doyle says in her latest book "Untamed" is true, the real answers feel warm, they feel melty, big, expansive and free, they feel like love. There's an old adage that we're either coming from a place of love or fear. The goal is to launch ourselves from love whenever we can and not everyday love but divine, deep, big magic, god, source, what's true love. That love will lead us to the next right thing every damn time. To find it, as Martha Beck says, we have to slow waaayyyy down, go into our bodies and see when we ask a question; does the answer feel warm? "Slow down sister, just slow down" this is what I kept repeating to myself when I was on my trip. Minnesota was 15 degrees but once I stopped rushing around and tuned in I can tell you it felt warm as hell in my heart.
Our first rerun friends! I am traveling this week and will be reporting back with images and notes on all the cold things from the wilds of the north...aka Minnesota. I'll be working on a travelogue from the adventure which will soon be found in my upcoming Substack Newsletter!
This episode was such a favorite and I know that the message is one I need to repeat to myself on the daily. It's easy to feel bad about what you're not and it's harder to feel good about who you are. Even if that "who you're not" (for me, the amazing Beyonce) isn't living a life that you'd EVER truly want for yourself. I don't lay awake at night dreaming about performing in concerts but there's a script that says "see that! see her! you're definitely not doing enough, not being enough, just forget it. Might as well go back to bed. Well, i'm not going back to bed dang it, in fact I'm awake very early these days writing and listening and reading. These early morning dates with myself have lead me to Meggan Watterson a magical human who believes that love is the greatest truth and that within us lies an endless well of wisdom that is specific to our hearts. In other words you have the answers to your questions you just have to drop into your heart, drop into love and you'll be lead to your greatest good every time. Here is her heart mediation. You're welcome.
https://youtu.be/qxNaueLxiSE
Ok friends, raise your hand if you worry about getting "it" right. Whether it's the route you choose to the grocery store, the project you're completing at work, the art you're making, the children you're raising, the sex you're having or not having, or the dinner you haven't even started yet....I worry a lot about getting it right. And my practice lately has led me to this one phrase "radical imperfection" - as in, what if we are radical in our imperfection. If we use it, allow it, raise it up, maybe even show it some love (because it means we're human) and ask it to actually push us forward, instead of holding us back, to a place where we show up and do the things we want to do regardless of the outcome. Let that imperfection sit down right next to us while we school our process, focus on progress and as Corita Kent would say "get to the doing, the living, the learning." I wish for you a radically imperfect week, day, hour, moment, that lets you show up and get to it; whatever that "it" is for you. Don't worry about getting it right just worry about showing up and doing it. That's the radical work. The showing up part not the perfect part. Lots of love my friends.
Here we go friends! This is a short episode just to say be on the lookout for anything that may be asking you to betray your self-care this week. Take good care of you and hold tightly to the course. I know, I know it's "that time of year" but seriously for those of us with honest to goodness restrictions whether they be food, alcohol, or time related (I see you my codependent friends) this can be a time of self-loathing pitfalls and shame spiral mine fields. My reminder is that you get to make choices to take care of you. Protect what makes you feel truly good about yourself and strengthens that fortitude around that higher version of you that you are creating. Lots of love. So thankful for all of you.
I really hate waiting. I'm a very impatient person and that's probably why this decision making process around where we are moving in the spring is taking so freaking long. The Universe always gives you just what you need to work on and for me it is patience and of course not thinking so hard about everything...all the time. I was listening to a short reel from Martha Beck last night and she was talking about how when we're waiting for something we're kind of suspended in this weird suffering place. We're not in the present moment, and we obviously can't be anywhere else but the present so we suffer. Interestingly the only way out of this is to take joyful action; pet the cat, make the cup of coffee, or if you're my daughter jump up and down on the sand at the beach. I love this so much because it's exactly what's happening to me. I am waiting for an answer and i'm just kind of in this searing headache inducing place of endless analyzing and wondering - which of course is not super productive (not even a little bit) But you know what helps? Joy! And then taking action to have an experience INSTEAD of a thought. Stop thinking so much is my advice to myself and to us all, take action! Go see Minnesota! Go see Portland! eat some food, meet some people, and feel it out instead of thinking it through. Because at the end of the day the place is going to be fine. It'll always work out. It will be an adventure. But how we feel when we're having that adventure is kind of the point. God save us all from making "smart choices" because that's just about being safe, it's about waiting for the other shoe to drop, instead of really living our life in our one and only present moment. I'm off to pet my cat now. Lots of love my friends.
It's been a week over here my friends. I have been in a fuuuunuunnk since returning from the writer's retreat. My writer friends share that this is completely normal and unavoidable. Regardless it's been rough, so what do I do when I'm in funky town? I GO TO THE LIBRARY and get me some book medicine (in case you didn't know there is always book candy, book love, and book medicine available to you) My book medicine for the week was Nora Ephron's " Crazy Salad Some Things About Women & Scribble Scribble Notes on the Media." The title of today's episode is taken from something she said about her college reunion where she realized they were never asked what they "thought" about anything. They were taught to describe everything but not to have an actual opinion on it. For some of you beautiful people this is not an issue but for me it is at the core of my struggle. I have a really hard time saying I don't like something if it's already measured as brilliant or wonderful by whomever; culture, my sister, my bestie, or the New Yorker. And on the flip side if I'm trying to actually make something I will want it to be good rather than ask myself if I like it. Deep sigh. Thanks Nora for the antidepressant reminder that if we even like something, what our heart actually has to say about something is more important than its preconceived goodness/brilliance/genius. We all get to have an opinion for goodness sakes!
I woke up this morning to a notification that someone had liked my substack post (thanks Mel). The thing was I hadn't actually written a substack post. I had put a placeholder in when I created my page about a month ago. I had, in an attempt to threaten myself with announcing it to the world, shared that I intended to create a substack, and I even circled in red "coming soon." Since then I have done exactly nothing except think A LOT about how I don't know what to write. The spooky thing is, Happy Halloween by the way, I just finished a writer's retreat yesterday. So on today's episode I talk a little bit about naming ourselves, showing up in spaces that we feel like we don't belong and finding out that we do. And realizing that the reason that you think you're going is never the reason you'll be happy you went. The surprises are always better than what we imagine we want to happen. Except for the surprises that wake you up at 4:00 a.m. with sweaty hands, trying to figure out how to delete a two sentence substack post. Happy Monday friends. Lots of love.
I am in the process of a deprivation experiment this week. I'm not usually about deprivation. It's not my jam but the rules are as follows: you don't read any books, articles, news, social posts or listen to any podcasts / watch tv etc. It's been 24 hours and honestly, I very naively, thought it wouldn't a big deal. And then I KEPT reaching for my phone to check all the things; scrolling zillow for that perfect house, finishing reading that article about that "interesting person doing that amazing thing", researching parenting questions I have about eight year olds (it's a tricky age) etc. Basically every single free moment I had I was looking OUTSIDE myself for answers or inspiration. And here's what I very quickly realized; we're handing the mic to everyone else all day long. We give AUTHORITY to everyone else all day long. It's as if we're looking for our own truths in somebody else's mouths. Hoping if someone else says it and we recognize it as true for ourselves then it can be valid and worthy. But our hearts want the mic friends - and I think sometimes we have to quiet that audience down and dim those house lights to really hear what it's trying to say...even if, maybe especially if, what it has to say isn't going to be easy to hear.
Most of the time it's not "our party". Whether we are at an actual party, like I was this weekend, or a hypothetical party like the team meeting you have to attend this afternoon. And when things don't go according to how we would prefer them to go it's easy to get judgey mcjudgey (not an actual phrase until now). I do anyway, I start to judge exactly how things should be going, what other people should be doing to make it better etc. I see all the short comings and all the ways "I could fix" it. This of course comes from being a fixer when I was a kid. I felt like I always needed to fix every little situation. In fact I was certain it was my job to fix it. If you're like me you want everything and everyone to be comfy, calm and their blood sugars to be even keeled. You kinda think every "party" is secretly your party to host in some fashion. The ego looms large my friends. But this weekend as I was internally (and externally) freaking out and imagining storming the buffet table...I looked over and saw my eight year old pull out her knitting needles. Point taken young one; judgement and control gets in the way of fun every time. And the job is to let go and bring our own fun to whatever party we end up at...also, to bring our own snacks.
Hey y'all - I bought a sequin dress.
Not a big deal for some of you but for me who's favorite color is brown (because it's the color of ponies) it was a bit of a leap to say the least.
There's this mantra from The Artist's Way book that says "listen to your inner creator, and you will be led" and it's one of my favorites. I love it because it's not about being anything other than yourself, fully in the moment you're in and paying attention to what calls you. And then of course being brave enough to leap towards something that is perhaps out of your comfort zone (for me anything shiny). If you do this you will find yourself in a version of "your movie" your "life movie" that is so filled with fun your face will hurt from grinning. Listen in as I share how I ended up in a 1940's hot rod truck, shinning like a disco ball with people waving at me like I was fun on a stick.
It's easy to feel bad about what you're not and it's harder to feel good about who you are. Even if that "who you're not" (for me, the amazing Beyonce) isn't living a life that you'd EVER truly want for yourself. I don't lay awake at night dreaming about performing in concerts but there's a script that says "see that! see her! you're definitely not doing enough, not being enough, just forget it. Might as well go back to bed. Well, i'm not going back to bed dang it, in fact I'm awake very early these days writing and listening and reading. These early morning dates with myself have lead me to Meggan Watterson a magical human who believes that love is the greatest truth and that within us lies an endless well of wisdom that is specific to our hearts. In other words you have the answers to your questions you just have to drop into your heart, drop into love and you'll be lead to your greatest good every time. Here is her heart mediation. You're welcome.
https://youtu.be/qxNaueLxiSE
Well my friends. We are back in LA after six weeks of adventures on the road. And what we expected was to get back to a renovated condo, move ourselves in, and get settled. Easy peasy right? The Universe had other plans. So we walked into an uncompleted renovation and have been running around making rounders to home depot ever since. Here's what's helped. I received a quote from Cory Muscara and it goes like this "Given this reality, what can I do next?" I LOVE this so much. The reality we expect is rarely the reality we meet when we start our day. So what can we do next in each moment right?! Sometimes what we can do next is simply go get a towel rack because that's what is driving us the most crazy. In a civilized world we have a place to hang our towels!! It's always the little things that get me. Here's to being able to hang up our towels and doing the next right thing.
I can feel my fingers again! It's the little things my friends. The shoulder is easing up. The headache is nowhere in sight. The return to a life without wheels is on the horizon. And what's been coming up is joy; the desire for it and / or the noticeable lack of it. I keep bumping up against or meeting or being drawn to individuals who are working with joy. And in my always roundabout way I talk about it on today's podcast. That and finding prayer again without feeling triggered, being open to possibility, and looking forward to showering without having to relocate a litter box. Be sure to tune in. Sending you lots of love
Thank goodness for tiger balm my friends. I've been having a "full body no" to something - all. freaking. week. long. Headache, shoulder pain, nerve pain -- all day, even when I wake up at night, since last week....it's giving me pause and making me very grouchy. What is it about? I'm not dehydrated. I thought of that one early on. I'm taking my vitamins. The motorhome futon isn't the most comfortable buuut i'm falling asleep easily. The only thing I can think of is that I'm in denial about something. That I'm saying yes to something either right now in the moment or moving towards a yes that is actually a no. It is uncomfortable to say the least. Sometimes you just don't know until you know. You move through it the best you can and keep a steady supply of tiger balm at the ready. My eyes are burning, my head is pounding, my shoulder is screaming and I honestly can't think straight so whatever truth is coming has gotta be good. Lots of love.
Oh boy my friends, have I been stuck in my head these past two weeks. I recorded this episode five times and almost ditched this version as well. I'm not sure what my mind is looking to share but I think it's some version that's much more "cohesive" which is difficult when you're swirling around inside your brain. So I'm sharing this episode imperfectly with you. It starts out strong and then kind of gets a little dizzying at the end which sums up pretty well where I've been. I've been stuck in churning thoughts. My brain wants to figure things out and QUICKLY! The desire to come up with some sort of definitive direction and or decision for our family in regards to what our life is going to look like moving forward has been ever present. Do we keep RVing? Do we look to buy a house? Do we buy a houseboat? Just kidding, BUT confession I did spend a lot of time looking at families that do houseboating lol. Relief came to me this morning when I got back to doing the things that direct my thoughts. Which for me apparently is waking up at 4:00am and listening to interviews with people who inspire me. I think we have to actively cultivate those good feeling thoughts in these hard moments and allow the space for the lessons / the truths to find us. We can't receive any information, any wisdom if we're all stressed out in our heads. I think that's true for all of us. Hope you enjoy my swirl and if you relate reach out and share what works for you! I would love to hear what gets you back on track!
This version of life - this version please and more of it please and thank you. That's all I have to say. Well, almost... It's been such an amazing week with so much beauty and spaciousness and wonder around every corner. I needed THIS. It's the most hopeful and expansive I've felt in a long time...if I"m being honest maybe ever. I needed to remind myself that the world is vast and open and available. To remember that the feeling of being free to choose your own adventure is why we are here and is the feeling we should all be seeking. I remember Martha Beck describing true integrity & alignment as a "warm feeling" you should follow and that it won't lead you astray. That is how you recognize that you're in a life that is true. It will feel warm and open and available and it's waiting for you. Sometimes scary but always exciting to wake up to.
Lot's of love my friends.
Sometimes right as you start to take that first big step towards change there are going to be hiccups. And by hiccups I mean cat diarrhea (yup, I said it) and being locked inside your rig and all sorts of wonderful hilarious and crazy "not as we expected it" delights that will unfold and cause you to widen your eyes and look to the sky. This can cause you to wonder if you're on the right path or if this is all a dramatic flashing neon sign from the universe to TURN BACK. I've decided it means you're at the entry gate to what you've claimed you desired and the universe is juuuust checking to make sure you have the right ticket. Are you sure? Are you really sure? Because if you go this way you have to throw away any thoughts and feelings of doubt that have been lingering. You have to start sending out your true and clean signal to the universe that "YES, indeed you are sure and they can unlock the motorhome door now." We're on our way friends. We've entered adventure land and it's already pretty exciting. The popsicles and tire swing at the end of the day were totally worth it. Love you.
We are one week out from our roadtrip and lots of stories have been coming up in my head; some of which involve losing the cat, getting a flat tire, squirrels which have the plague, my kids getting sick in the middle of nowhere, and / or not being able to find a grocery store which has the tortillas my daughter can eat (gluten allergy) and let's be honest that's all she wants to eat...ever. So much worry! Which then resulted in me trying to be super vigilant about being prepared around all the RV things, which then resulted in multiple trips to REI and Target leaving me feeling nothing but on edge and grumpy. Which is NOT what I would have expected since we're getting so close to something I've been looking forward to for months! So I noticed all this happening and attempted, in my very "I know how to handle this" way, to carve out some self-care time very early in the AM to recapture my chill. Well my friends, my kids had other plans and derailed my attempts 3 out of 3 times this week. No joke. It was bad and it all just kept getting worse and my mood followed. All the things I tried, to get myself back on track really weren't working (even the baby otters at the aquarium were a short lived blip of joy) because the truth is I was trying really really HARD. Like white knuckles hard to let go of how grouchy I was. And here's the thing trying really really hard doesn't work. Not even a little bit. It wasn't until everything reached a crescendo this morning involving two failed attempts at making coffee. The Universe was like "You, are a TEA DRINKER missy" that I realized it wasn't getting better because I wasn't even a little bit relaxed. Anything we create has to come from a very core place of chill of relaxed "letting it go" vibrationalness (is that a new word?). And I wasn't anywhere near that. I couldn't have sat down and painted a circle without being angry. I had to set it all down in order to feel better -- the whole story about how I "needed" things to be. As Dr. Joe Dispenza says in his book "Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself" --"We don't attract what we want, we attract what we are". If what we want is to be peaceful, joyful, and feel generally awesome, than we have to find a way to embody those states not just with our thoughts but by letting go of the story that we are anything else....no matter what the day sends us and embodying those states wholeheartedly. Working on it over here; some strong cups of tea and a waffle may have added to my success. Love to you! xoxo
Does it feel good? Simple question right? Does what I'm doing, thinking, being, feeling right now actually feel good to me? This is the question I've been asking myself all week and in a way all year. It's harder to answer than one might think. And it's not something we ask often in little moments. Someone might ask how you're feeling and you'll say "good" but that's not what I mean. I mean, for instance, when you're getting ready to make dinner and you feel irrationally grumpy about it (as in why does the thought of boiling water make me want to cry) perhaps noticing you don't feel good and taking that as a note to STOP and wonder if perhaps tonight we order takeout? It's simple right. Yet why don't we do that more often? Because we're running a script on what we SHOULD be doing. But this question ties right into finding what's true and listening to your body as a compass. Try using it whenever you feel grumpy and then do something about it if the answer is "no, this feels crummy." -- you'll be happy you listened to yourself. Lots of love.
Don't kid yourself, you know if where you are isn't where you want to be AND THAT IS ENOUGH to move forward. We often tell ourselves we have to have everything figured out, we need a really "good plan" or a "good reason" in order to make big changes and that is not the case. Knowing is enough. Just knowing.
A colleague of mine confessed he knew he wasn't wired for the work we were doing and especially in the environment we were doing it in. That's such an incredible realization right?! Because we ARE wired a certain way. Humans are made up mostly of energy and if we're plugged in correctly?! Wow! it's gunna be an amazing light show. Buuut if we're not plugged in correctly - if we plug into something we're not wired for?! Well, let's just say you should expect mostly darkness, cursing while you stub your toe on every corner, smoking fuses, and fumbling for the flashlight while you try to find the breakers.
I'm here to tell you that the truth you're not listening to is the one you have to amplify -- turn up the volume on what you're not letting yourself hear. Honor that and the universe will take care of the rest. QUIT what isn't you. Don't be afraid to let your little light shine my friends.
(See I told you there would be cheese.)
Leaving what's familiar is not the easiest thing for a human to do. That's putting it mildly right?!! We are so hard wired on every level to seek safety and hold on tight to what we know - even if that familiar place isn't serving us anymore. Even if we actually love that familiar place and there isn't a need to run from it, other than the fact you feel a calling to something more. If you know you want to try something new, no matter how big or small and you're hearing all the reasons not to in your head, then this is the episode for you. Do it messy, listen to your gut, and head out one step at a time -- you won't regret it.
Welcome to the Finding What's True podcast! In this first-ever episode, you’ll meet your host, Sarah Davis, and learn what happens when you start getting really really honest with yourself. Hint, it might just change your life.