Real Talk: Recent Episodes
Dr. Africa Rainey
Today we explore two forces in this world that have shaped the entire planet. They are responsible for maintaining systems of domination, exploitation, trauma, violence and powerlessness. They are intertwined with one another and require each other to maintain itself. These forces are Privilege and Oppression. On today’s episode we’ll be exploring each of these forces and learn to understand how they are connected and sustain one another. We’ll also discuss ways each of us can begin to become more aware of how the forces of privilege and oppression shape our lives as individuals and as a society.
Thank you Epidemic Sound for the amazing artists:
No thanks oomiee
Dream
Ooyy
Sillaba
Myysk
References
McIntosh, P. (1989). White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack. Psychology - UMBC. Retrieved June 22, 2023, from https://psychology.umbc.edu/wp-content/uploads/sites/57/2016/10/White-Privilege_McIntosh-1989.pdf
O'Connor, P., & Heldke, L. M. (2004). Oppression, Privilege, and Resistance: Theoretical Perspectives on Racism, Sexism, and Heterosexism (P. O'Connor & L. M. Heldke, Eds.). McGraw-Hill.
Relationships, the sacred bonds, we share with others. The purpose of relationships is to develop a greater understanding of oneself. However, in our culture, relationships have become more about learning another person in order to be what the other person wants you to be vs who you really are. We often enter relationships with an understanding of what we can get from another person vs what we can bring into the relationship to help foster compassion, empathy, and support creating opportunities for growth. Today will go over what’s called the Four Horsemen created by couple expert John Gottmann. The four horsemen are patterns of communication in couple relationships which can predict the ending of a relationship. We will also go over antidotes to the horsemen or healthier communication patterns geared toward supporting your partner and the relationship.
Thank you to Epidemic Sound for these amazing artists:
**NIGHTCAP
Wesky
Pableno
Push N’ Glide
Heyson
DJ Mayson
References**
Fulwiler, M. (n.d.). Managing Conflict: Solvable vs. Perpetual Problems. The Gottman Institute. Retrieved May 21, 2023, from https://www.gottman.com/blog/managing-conflict-solvable-vs-perpetual-problems
Panganiban, K. (n.d.). The Four Horsemen: The Antidotes. The Gottman Institute. Retrieved May 21, 2023, from https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-four-horsemen-the-antidotes/
It has been long established in science that the physical attributes of humans are directly correlated to the environment. As animals, we hold an ability to alter our physical selves through the beauty of evolutionary mutation to ensure our survival as a species. For example, our skin pigmentation. Why are certain individuals darker in pigmentation and others lighter?. This is primarily due to the environment. Darker skin has a number of attributes, such as being a barrier to water loss, greater cohesiveness and provides an antimicrobial defense. Darker skin also prevents the breakdown of folic acid, which is an essential nutrient in reproduction. As humans moved north from the equator, our bodies no longer needed to divert energy and resources toward making darker skin because the environment no longer demanded it. Over the course of thousands of years, a mutation allowing for lighter skin tones emerged. In the case of neurodiversity, it is thought environmental factors may also play a significant role in creating neurodiverse individuals. What is neurodiversity? What can it look like in some individuals? What are some ways you can demonstrate being a diversity ally to neurodiverse individuals? Stay tuned!
Thank you Epidemic Sound for these incredible artists:
Blue steel,
cushy,
Damma beatz
Tilden Parc Feat. King Sis
Ballpoint
Heyson
Hank Lotion
Dj Eely
Iso Indies
References
Armstrong, T. (2011). The Power of Neurodiversity: Unleashing the Advantages of Your Differently Wired Brain (published in Hardcover as Neurodiversity). Hachette Books.
Doyle, N. (2020, September 30). Neurodiversity at work: a biopsychosocial model and the impact on working adults. NCBI. Retrieved April 22, 2023, from https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7732033/
Nelson, K. (2023, February 10). Masking at Work for Neurodivergent People. Verywell Mind. Retrieved April 22, 2023, from https://www.verywellmind.com/neurodivergence-at-work-to-mask-or-not-to-mask-7108000
Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD): Symptoms & Treatment. (2022, August 30). Cleveland Clinic. Retrieved April 22, 2023, from https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/24099-rejection-sensitive-dysphoria-rsd
Being hurt, intentionally or unintentionally can leave an individual feeling a sense of pain and betrayal. Many of us have our own personal stories of pain, anger and bitterness from a person or event in which we were deeply hurt. How can we begin to release these feelings, once we’ve acknowledged and processed them? How can we demonstrate forgiveness? On today’s episode we will discuss what forgiveness and unforgiveness is, misconceptions around forgiveness and five core components of practicing forgiveness.
Research has demonstrated, nearly every aspect of an individual's life changes for the better upon becoming more forgiving, lower stress levels, greater resiliency, longer life, significant feelings of happiness, and preventing or reducing the risk of disease. Forgiveness can have a profound impact on mental health and well-being, so much so that forgiveness therapy is being utilized as a method of treatment among therapists
Thank you to Epidemic sound for the amazing artists:
Glowiing
Tilden
Rompe
Lawd
Leche
House of Say
Run the clock
Ballpoint
A Mi Madre
Caro Luna
References
Amish Grace and Forgiveness - LancasterPA.com. (n.d.). Lancaster, PA. Retrieved March 22, 2023, from https://lancasterpa.com/amish/amish-forgiveness/
King Jr., Martin Luther ‘Loving Your Enemies’ Rev. King, Jr.'s Subject,” Atlanta Daily World, 30 August 1952. For a later example of this sermon that follows this early outline, see King, “Loving Your Enemies,” Sermon Delivered at Dexter Avenue Baptist Church, 17 November 1957, in The Papers of Martin Luther King, vol. 4: Symbol of the Movement, January 1957-December 1958, ed. Clayborne Carson, Susan Carson, Adrienne Clay, Virginia Shadron, Kieran Taylor (Berkeley and Los Angeles: University of California Press, 2000), pp. 315-324;
Luskin, F. (n.d.). Wanting “Yes” and Getting “No”. Greater Good Science Center. Retrieved March 22, 2023, from https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/video/item/wanting_yes_getting_no
Park, W. (2020, November 10). What other cultures can teach us about forgiveness. BBC. Retrieved March 19, 2023, from https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20201109-what-other-cultures-can-teach-us-about-forgiveness
Worthington, E. L. (2005). Handbook of Forgiveness (E. L. Worthington, Ed.). Taylor & Francis.
Today we will examine each area of gender and how perceptions of gender identity and expression may vary from culture to culture. As our culture has evolved so has the construct of gender allowing for a broader range of gender identities and expression. Today, we’ll learn ways to support, embrace and respect these identities!
Gender is quite a broad term covering three primary areas: biological, or the idea individuals assigned male have an xy chromosome and individuals assigned female have an xx, chromosome, sociological which are outward expressions of identity, roles, and societal expectations and psychological or how an individual perceives and expresses themselves that change over time.
Thank You to the artists at Epidemic Sound for their incredible music:
Nightcap
Ballpoint
Ooyy feat. HDBeenDope
Netzy
Lawd Ito feat. Tilden Parc References
Denworth, Lydia. “Is There a Female Brain.” Scientific American, no. September, 2017, pp. 38-44.
Drexel IT-VCAP. Two Spirit People: Sex, Gender, and Sexuality Now and Then. 2012, https://vimeo.com/79920103. Accessed 3 February 2023. Video.
Iantaffi, Alex, and Meg-John Barker. How to Understand Your Gender: A Practical Guide for Exploring who You are. Jessica Kingsley Publishers, 2018.
Montanez, Amanda. “Beyond XX and XY.” Scientific American, no. September, 2017, pp. 50-52.
Olson, Kristina R. “When Sex and Gender Collide.” Scientific American, no. September, 2017, pp. 44-50.
“Seven Things About Trans People That You Didn't Know.” Human Rights Campaign, https://www.hrc.org/resources/seven-things-about-transgender-people-that-you-didnt-know. Accessed 19 February 2023.
“The World's Women 2020: Trends and Statistics | United Nations.” the United Nations, 20 October 2020, https://worlds-women-2020-data-undesa.hub.arcgis.com/. Accessed 19 February 2023.
On today’s episode we’ll be discussing coming out in relation to both gender and sexuality. Also, steps you can take if you’re considering coming out. Our daily lives, activities and relationships are so heavily influenced by gender and sexuality. Should we decide to deviate from gender and sexual societal norms and beliefs, then we must “announce it” to the people we care about, are related to and are employed by. We must ‘come out’ over and over again throughout our lives as we meet new people and have new experiences. Coming out can be a stressful and even dangerous process which will continue as long as we hold restrictive views around gender and sexuality.
A special thank you to the incredible artists from Epidemic Sound:
Craig Reever
Beiba
Lu-Ni
Azucares
References
Heinemann, Joseph & Atallah, Sandrine & Rosenbaum, Talli. (2016). The Impact of Culture and Ethnicity on Sexuality and Sexual Function. Current Sexual Health Reports. 8. 10.1007/s11930-016-0088-8.
Jankowiak, William R., Shelly L. Volsche, and Justin R. Garcia. “Is the Romantic–Sexual Kiss a Near Human Universal?” American Anthropologist. N.p., 06 July 2015. Web. 24 May 2017
Tavitis. M., Perez, E.O., (2019) Language influences mass opinion toward gender and LGBT equality. Princeton University, Princeton, NJ. Retrieved Oct 10, 2022 from: https://doi.org/10.1073/pnas.1908156116
The Trevor Project coming out PDF for LGBT+ youth
https://www.thetrevorproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/Coming-Out-Handbook.pdf
Sylvia Rivera Speech “Y'all better quiet down”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jb-JIOWUw1o
Generational trauma consists of generations of individuals who carry either consciously or unconsciously feelings or thoughts about devastating events or ongoing familial, societal, or cultural systemic atrocities occurring either before birth or at a young age.
References
Gita Arian Baack. (2017). The inheritors : moving forward from generational trauma. Swp She Writes Press.
Thank you to Epidemic Sound for these amazing aritsts:
Dusty Decks
Iso Indies
_91nova
Johannes Bornlof
Episode 7 Subconscious (Unconscious) bias
In previous episodes we talked about being a diversity ally by addressing various types of behaviors, and ideas that can create feelings of fear and being stuck in one’s life which can limit one’s potential. Diversity brings variation and a different lens with which to view the world which can enrich one’s life and understanding of one’s self. We talked about the messages and conditioning in the form of social constructs we’ve all received in order to bring about a certain way of perceiving the world that causes pain not only within oneself but in one’s relationships with others and ways to begin to change in order to bring about healing. Today we continue that discussion by addressing something called subconscious bias. When we hold ideas, opinions or beliefs of others out of our awareness and those beliefs influence how you interact or experience others then you may hold unconscious, implicit or subconscious bias.. Subconscious bias, implicit and unconscious bias are often used interchangeably.
References
Eberhardt, J. (2020). Biased. Windmill Books.
Thank you to Epidemic music with the
following artists:
Craig Reever
Cushy
Dylan Sitts
Nbhd Nick
Empathy and emotion researcher and author Karla Mclaren defines empathy as “a social and emotional skill that helps us feel and understand the emotions, circumstances, intentions, thoughts, and needs of others, such that we can offer sensitive, perceptive and appropriate communication and support” (end quote)
The word Empathy is a translation of the German word Einfuhlung (EIN-fhoo-loong), which means “feeling into”, and refers to our capacity to deeply connect to an object like a piece of art or music, a person, or experience with meaning or emotions. Einfuhlung allows us to see empathy as a way of interacting with the world on a deeper, emotional level.
Empathy is the area in between spoken language. It is the realm of emotional, cultural, gestural, interactional sub-textual information consisting of a richness of nuance. As a Counseling Psychologist, this space is a treasure trove of unspoken, beautifully eloquent and rich hidden information. Words themselves are grossly limited and can be consciously changed in order to hide true intent or feeling. Non-verbal language however, is often out of the conscious awareness of the individual and is always the most accurate in unveiling an individual's Authentic Self.
Brown, B. (2008). I thought it was just me (but it isn’t) : making the journey from “What will people think?” to “I am enough.” Avery, An Imprint Of Penguin Random House.
Mclaren, K. (2013). The art of empathy : a complete guide to life’s most essential skill. Sounds True, Inc.
Trauma can impact and influence multiple dimensions of our sense of self, to include, how we view and value ourselves. Trauma can influence the choices we make in our daily lives, how we perceive and respond to emotional experiences within ourselves and in the relationships we have with others. Trauma is a profound injury to an individual's sense of well-being, impacting the mind, body and soul. The impact of trauma can have lifelong consequences due to its systemic and cyclic effects on today’s podcast we’ll be discussing Trauma, what it is, it’s extensive impact and some ways it can be managed.
References
Van der Kolk, B. A. (2014). The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma. Penguin Publishing Group.
Llamas, J., Gobin, R., Gustafson, S., Hendricks, K., Marinsik, D., Marquez, R., Nguyen, K., Sia, M., Lundstedt, L., Misra, S., & Thelemaque, T. (n.d.). TRAUMA AND POSTTRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER IN ETHNIC MINORITES. Retrieved July 10, 2022, from https://www.apatraumadivision.org/files/57.pdf
US Dept of Veterans Affairs website: https://www.ptsd.va.gov/
An emotional wound is very similar to a physical wound, the only difference being, you cannot see it. You can feel it and that feeling gives it life and breath. It can be sometimes difficult to accept what we cannot see as being in existence, but consider, we can feel the wind, we can feel love, we can feel chemistry, we can look around us and see how it envelops itself and transforms our lives through our life choices. Wounds are also very powerful and often unconscious creators in our lives. In order to change our lives, we must begin to use their wisdom to help increase our feelings of worthiness and peace. This process begins with acknowledging the existence of our wounds. Similar to the body experiencing physical pain when it is wounded, our emotional selves experience emotional pain. This emotional aspect of ourselves is driven to heal these wounds just like our bodies through the filter of experiences we have with ourselves and others in our lives.
The term Cognitive Dissonance emerged from the research of social psychologist Leon Festinger in 1957. Festinger indicates a cognition as having any thought, knowledge, or belief about the environment, oneself or one’s behavior. Dissonance is a deep internal discomfort, similar to what one would feel with hunger but on a psychological level. Cognitive Dissonance is an attempt to relieve or alleviate the deep discomfort brought about by some thought, knowledge or belief about the environment, oneself or one’s behavior.
Festinger (1985) A Theory of Cognitive Dissonance. Stanford University Press. Stanford, California.
A society is a group of beings living in an organized way. Societies with social constructs are when a group of people create and adapt certain ideas about what they perceive and give meaning to within the group. Constructs, while many are wonderful at providing cultural expression, structure and beauty, there are some that restrict, hinder, and confine. For example, constructs around race, sex, gender, ability, and age,
References
Bagemihl, B. (1999). Biological Exuberance: Animal Homosexuality and Natural Diversity. St. Martin's Publishing Group.
Fuentes, A. (2015). Race, Monogamy, and Other Lies They Told You: Busting Myths about Human Nature. University of California Press.
Wood, A., Kleinbaum, A. M., & Wheatley, T. (2022). Cultural diversity broadens social
networks. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. Advance online publication. https://doi.org/10.1037/pspi0000395
Microaggressions, first created by Harvard Professor Chester Middlebrook then further developed by Counseling Psychologist Derald Wing Sue defines microaggressions as brief and commonplace daily verbal, behavioral and environmental indignities, whether intentional or unintentional that communicate hostile, derogatory, or negative slights or insults to a target person or group. What do you do when you receive them, what do you do when you commit them.
References
Brown, B., (2010) The Gifts of Imperfection: let go of who you think you’re supposed to be and embrace who you are. Center City, MN. Hazelden.
Ray, L., Smith, D., Wastell, L.,(2004) Shame, Rage and Racist Violence, The British Journal of Criminology, Volume 44, Issue 3, May (2004), Pages 350–368, https://doi.org/10.1093/bjc/azh022
Sue, D. W., Capodilupo, C.M., Torino, G. C. Bucceri, J. M., Holder, A. M. B., Nadal, K.L., & Esquilin, M. E. (2007). Racial Microaggressions in everyday life: Implications for clinical practice. American Psychologist, 62(4), 271-286.
Sue, D. W., Spanierman, L., (2020) Revised Edition of Microaggressions in everyday life. Hoboken, NJ. Wiley.
Torino, G. (2017, November 10) How racism and microaggressions lead to worse health. Retrieved from https://centerforhealthjournalism.org/2017/11/08/how-racism-and-microaggressions-lead-worse-health