Spiritual UnDirection: Recent Episodes
Spiritual UnDirectors Chris, Wayne, and Jon
A lighthearted podcast about life's most important questions. Three professional Christians answer all of the questions about God, the Bible, and life. Chris, Wayne, and Jon discuss everything your soul has always wanted to know, and some things it doesn't want to know. It's like paying money for three spiritual directors... except it's free and it's just for fun.
Ethics, philosophy, and puns with our friend Mitch! Also, stand in solidarity with Jon and show your dad where you stand on belly button piercings. But you should still be sure to gum your favorite inside out mediterranean grape-based-cereal to get the necessary fiber.
Discussion Starters: Kitchen Klutzes Day, Jesus’ pre-judgement meal, food ethics, distinctives of Christianity, Philosopher Punderstanding, elvish freewill, cereal again, thoughts on Joseph, parents when they learn you are going to study the Bible, verse of the day.
Hop into our deathtrap Honda Odessey while reflecting on the speech of a guy who kicks balls good. This podcast is a one stop shop for your shame about the way you pronounce things.
Discussion Starters: HAIRy BUTTker’s speech, graduation speeches, being materialistic, friend doesn’t respond quickly, woofs crans and chrucks, Thanks for Punderstanding, supernatural beings and cryptozoology, repentance after death and purgatory.
We hope your Mother’s Day was more exciting than the NPR passive aggressive hour! But if not, at least Bowie’s Shakespearean bulge will always be there to make your day.
Discussion Starters: Moms and mythical beings, LamaRohrOsteen Quotes, filling up the pews again, potluck etiquette, what to do with churches midweek, how strong are archangels, prayer in schools, passive aggressive prayers, insincere church greetings
Feel the pre-recorded live energy on this episode straight from a rental home just west of the Middle west! We promise that the whole thing is less problematic than Dumbo as long as you don’t have your confirmation bias radar on.
Discussion Starters: Steak sauce and salads, Jesus’ alternative communion elements, calm as default emotion, considering a real bear, neighborhood Bible burning center, Hackzors, what type of Bible to buy, Christian nationalism, Thanks for Punderstanding, Zoltar’s Prophecies, Verse of the Day.
Enjoy the apocalypse with us and take a slice of steak off the meat tree to chase it. But be sure to stuff John Nelson Darby in a locker if you don’t want to get a wedgie below the Mason Dixon line.
Discussion Starters: Rapture during the eclipse, earthquakes, Daniel’s last week of prophecy, Thanks for Punderstanding, Bible characters with white names, should we pray for Satan’s salvation, knee-length skirts, Satan’s knees are like a joystick.
Educate yourself on Joker Jukebox musicals with special guest Christopher Salazar from the Chris and Dez show! Find out how Jesus is our first responder and quarterback and wash down some mafia spicy takes with some New York gravy.
Discussion Starters: Cost of a red-carpet look, Jesus’ fashion choices, New York food recs, playing an atheist and denying God, American obsession with antiheros, The Chosen and other Christian films, Kirk Cameron films, cereal revisited, Christians kissing on screen, Godfather, Goodfellas, and Sopranos.
With a balanced diet of anarchy, fiber, deep brown dirt, and the blessing of a wet and sticky bird, you’re on your way to a holy and crunchy breakfast experience. Let Wayne’s fat-padded love hands give you your first broken nose so you can match Chris’ crooked face.
Discussion Starters: National Cereal Day, cereal confessions, cereal mascots, two questions from Crossroads, struggling with or living in sin, reciting a bible verse for food, end times is near, punches to the face.
Why would a loving and sovereign God let the Mexican Pizza go away for a short while? Embrace the mystery with us as we play with puns, ruminate on religion, and secretly talk behind Dillip’s back.
Discussion Starters: Sweet Potato Pie, cities at the center of Jesus’ millennial reign, emotionally responding to John Macarthur, talk about Calvinism, sin in heaven, yucky puppet master, Christ in all things, Global Religion Thanks for Punderstanding, a visit from Santa Tecnica, Las Vegas wagers, merch, gossip rules.
This Valentines week it’s time to learn how to get in your body with Wayne and discover your bender type from Avatar. Let the north wind blow on your garden as Jon recalls his wedding song.
Discussion Starters: Sweeping us off our feet, japalenyo, youth group commandments, the Griddy, life’s greatest accomplishments, Jesus or secular love song, Thanks for Punderstanding, children reading Song of Solomon, Jesus’ preferred cuisine.
Can you supernaturally run in slow motion? Well, if you’re Hasselhoff or Saint George Michael, you will definitely need to have faith. Turn your hat backwards and put on your slingshot in preparation for this episode.
Discussion Starters: Dumdum sucker apology, wife-related announcements, evil behind other religions, the state of Florida, demon resources theory, Thanks for Punderstanding, differentiating belief and faith, Katie Perry Lyrics.
Meet up with us in an abandoned location to bear witness to Wayne’s conversion to Jon’s side. He comes in through the back door reserved especially for ghosts! Be sure to take your lactose enzymes as you listen.
Discussion Starters: National Milk Day, boil a kid in its mother’s milk (Exodus 23:19), ghost hunting and evangelism update, wikihow on a bad habit, girl hug boy day, actors judged for their actions, hug procedures, cowardice, can you be a Christian.
Serve yourself a hot bowl of Birria Ramen and cuddle up with Russel Crowe in the basement (allegedly). Get ready to get fit and drink the same amount in the coming year… just be careful of the stair-stepper transformer.
Discussion Starters: Gym equipment Transformers, recapping 2023, proper finger-wagging technique, evangelism appetizers, New Year’s resolutions both real and funny, prophetic words of 2023: Porcelain-Carpetbagger-Funf, Bathroom Crocs, Bible verse of 2024, hotdog-lifespan correlations.
We’ve figured out how to jam a full acre and two cows into a single rod. Even though Jon teaches a gothic horror class, still be sure to stay away from the Ouija and angels of the Charlie persuasion.
Discussion Starters: Peak reindeer season, cities in Ohio, Rain Wavid Dandolf’s ghosthunter kids, lip sync bad words in a song, Biblical name Thanks for Punderstanding, Protestants still protesting, Psychology explains the Bennett Hasselhoff Nexus.
It’s time to get your elimination communication game on point, especially if you are Mary, most blessed among women! But prepare for an oil slick in the toi-toi or the incarnational cloth diaper.
Discussion Starters: Computer security and VPNs, what to do in Vegas, God’s consciousness trapped in baby Jesus, celibacy as a higher calling, heathen December Christmas, pagan cultural appropriation, verse of the day, grown-up Christmas list: Airsoft, Speedo, Pokémon.
What do Seekonk, Weeweeantics, Foggybottom, and Flesh all have in common? Jon’s mind! Enjoy all the Turkish vibes in this one as we remind Wayne where the Salem witch trials took place and explore the 7 sins of Thanksgiving.
Discussion Starters: Real towns in Massachusetts, praying over food for gratitude or protection spells, Fiona the flesh-eating stuffy, spending a day with a bear, shame about a giant inflatable tree, why did the creator design wildlife to die violently, devoured and excreted with the lion of Judah, Christian focus on Thanksgiving, deviled eggs on every holiday.
Are you a two-footed creature that chews the cud? Well, you’re welcome here even if you don’t match our 21stcentury taxonomy. Hop in the ark and get blasted by a better-than-the-original Smash Bros knockoff.
Discussion Starters: Super Past Brothers in the Christian shark tank, the end of the Gospel of Thomas, Day of the Dead details, Poe and Macbeth, Bible Bones BONEa Fides, dinosaurs and kangaroos in the Bible, inheriting salvation, sad souls on the journey to the afterlife, God’s judgement to send people to hell.
Learn some fried fish hacks, unorthodox pumpkin spice applications, and midwestern expressions. If you don’t enjoy it, we won’t beat you up because the Bible condemns self-defense.
Discussion Starters: Peak pumpkin spice, flavors and scents, trash bag reads, self-defense and others-defense, how to spice things up, wives’ interests and hobbies, Thanks for Punderstanding with daughter interruptions, was Satan telling the truth, good and evil, Pastor Jokes.
Join us for a tour of Prague as we discuss the endemic rampant atheism and the most recent release from T-Swift. Hop into Chris’ fossil fuel guzzling F-350 and listen as Tomald Drumph and Wayne-as-Jesus interact.
Discussion Starters: Taylor Swift putting football on the map, comparing T-Swift with Presidents and Popes, is God a loser and a failure, 15-year-old watch Dogma, the sacred heart, Thanks for Punderstanding, Disneyland vs the Vatican, almost losing a teen in a cave whirlpool, why doesn’t God just kill Satan.
Plenty of Bible and shame talk in this episode where we also spoil our doggies in the dog days of summer. Let’s hope you don’t have the chicken bone choking gene because Dorito time might be hazardous.
Discussion Starters: Bones for dogs, daughters making soup, Deuteronomy 22:5, guys shaving their legs, is shame good or bad, Dorito dust, dog glands, pagan etymology, other motivations of Biblical authors, family won’t buy me a house, does God rest on the 7th day, Cheezy Pastor Jokes.
Enter into the insurance dungeon with us. Careful what you touch or you could say goodbye to Carol’s demonface forever and face your mortality buttfirst. Also, some convos about the hiddenness of God and denominations might show up.
Discussion Starters: Ernest Gary Gygax, office DnD roleplay, why doesn’t God reveal himself in dreams, Terry Crews in a pool of Jell-O, Christian denominations in DnD alignments, Rick Warren, Kenneth Copeland, and Joel Osteen’s race and class, zombie soccer and evangelism, Check your Apostate, Verse of the Day.
Dogface Dogfart Dogfan… whatever his name… he’s our official Patron Saint of Spiritual Undirection Summertime. Hop on into our Christian Summer Camp experience and swim on land with us or walk on water with Jesus.
Discussion Starters: Kitchen Patrol, Hyundai, Patron Aint, swim on land or walk on water, swinging around the L word, How to be popular at Christian Camp, age of accountability, watching history from heaven, ghosts.
Join us around the 4th of July BBQ for a great conversation with long dead saints, and rekindled friendships. Don’t be ashamed to raise your hands in worship while you listen, or just scratch your wife’s back and hope that it counts with God.
Discussion Starters: Two Truths and A Lie: stolen cars and singed eyelashes and monkey bites, a visit from Santa Barbara, St. Crescentia, what if Christianity wasn’t true, taking your shirt off at a public pool, who signed the Declaration of Independence, Thanks for Punderstanding, Wayne at Medieval Times, horse meat.
What DOES Martha Steward smell like after a light jog? Who knows!? One thing is for certain, though… if you’re a mandated reporter, you should have blown the whistle for the whole stoning of Stephen thing. And Katie… come get your man.
Discussion Starters: Accountability time for goals, Bible Illustrated Swimsuit Edition, the capital of Evangelicalism, Elon Musk and Chicken Sandwich wars, involuntary mmm, the Jon Bennett Show, men discerning decision making, how was Jesus sinless, Thanks for Punderstanding, cheezy pastor jokes.
Squeeze some lemon on your schnitzel and get ready for a post-grad spiritual experience featuring the Mario movie and Wayne’s Botox Buttox. Laugh with us, and then cry with him over Food Network specials.
Discussion Starters: Scriptural senior superlatives, farting during baptism, disciple criterion, picture-perfect Christian marriages, Thanks for Punderstanding, differing sense of right and wrong, eating fries with a fork, how to stop focusing on self.
May the Fourth be with you… and with your Spirit. Explore the wisdom of George Lucas’ cosmos while pondering the heart of the incarnate Christ in all galaxies, no matter how far away.
Discussion Starters: Star Wars personal investment, Star Wars or Christian, can Christians sue, butt implant malpractice, Christianity in the Star Wars universe, Ewok salvation narrative, Thanks for Punderstanding, Wayne’s history with pox, Verse of the Day, American Me.
Save some room for the Holy Spirit and crack open a cold one on Arnold Schwarzenegger’s waxy jawbone. While you’re at it, step into the ALFophatic way and eat a cat while giving us four.
Discussion Starters: Prom chaperone techniques, Promophones, Adam and Eve belly buttons, long convo about Progressive Christians, cataphatic way and ALF/apophatic way, bricks and springs, 30 year old prom date, how to ask a Christian to prom.
On the heels of Massage Monday, Turbo Tax Tuesday, and Wacky Wednesday, we definitely need a moment of Undirection to prepare ourselves for the seriousness of this weekend. Put on your boots and wade into the culture war. Also, hear from Chris’ cousin Pipopapupewebghost.
Discussion Starters: Best candy eggs in the universe, why did it take 3 days, experiences with the supernatural, statues of Jesus in SimChurch, Resurrection Ripoffs, confessing golden arches, M&Ms, and dead selfies.
Breathe in the breath of life and breathe out jet puffed dog poop with us while we work through the consequences of our Sant Patty’s Day indulgence.
Discussion Starters: Saint Patrick’s Day hangover, a neighbor dispute about poop, smart people act, intelligence and wisdom, authorities established by God, mega church pastor salaries, does Kenneth Copeland count?, relic holy sponge watch, verse of the day.
Is that sweet smell the fresh bologna in the spring air or the fumes from a saint’s tomb? Only one way to find out! Crank up the EDM and ask Jesus if he likes it!
Discussion Starters: Bologna, post-mortem healings and smells, Jesus’ music preferences, post-trauma afterlife, How to be a mystic, King Dedede, clone souls, Dallas Willard anthropology, Thanks for Punderstanding one-word edition.
Enlist in our Casselhoff Cult! But first, answer this: In what sauce do you dip the bottom half of your Cheddar Bay Biscuits? Ours is guilty pleasure. Whether you are literally or figuratively 900 years old, we’re here to give you some non-dualistic wisdom.
Discussion Starters: Favorite kind of toast, Red Lobster pseudo-theft, Thanks for Punderstanding colonoscopy waiting room edition, ages in Genesis 5, Florida Man, the Spiritual Undirection Cult, Hasselhoff and Casserole Cult, Verse of the Day-vid Casselhoff.
Hop into the sensory deprivation chamber with us and let our wisdom and humor get you into an altered state of consciousness. Unless you have access to the Youth Pastor red phone, we’ll try not to lower the veil that blocks the heavens without your consent.
Discussion Starters: Calls from the Youth Pastor Red Phone, shaming away jokes, Alexa Hasselhoff, Saint/Aint Valentine, Thanks for Punderstanding, drug-free altered state of consciousness, strategic/manipulative worship, John Macarthur worship and apostasy, missing 90s worship.
An archaeologist, a Rock body double, and a filmmaker walk into a podcast. Okay so maybe it’s just three regular dudes. But we still stand by the fact that Jon has a hot body, although we remain conflicted about Taco Bell.
Discussion Starters: George Santosesque exaggerations, resolution progress, calls from the public (thanks S&O) on Brave New World, subversive doctrines and church division, Thanks for Punderstanding Disney, why God created, Taco Bell’s non-appropriation, Prophetic Comparisons: Insults and Fighting.
Note for those early downloaders: Time Delay Issue Fixed! Redownload for audio that makes sense for the guest caller.
Clean it up! Get off that toilet and write a strongly worded letter to follow through on your resolutions. Be an Alpha fish, not a Beta fish. Try pronouncing the immaculahasselhof three times to convert that white fat into brown.
Discussion Starters: New Year Resolutions, swimming in the Ohio River, Alien Sasquatch and Don’t Tell Dad, shalom, adenosine, wikihow to contact God, things to air fry, pelvic floor health, civilized airsoft, accidents, GLASS PARTICLE CORAL, fatboys beatboxing, level up in life, what happened on the 23rd floor, holding your gaze, workaholism and ministry orphans.
This podcast is a safe space… unless you’re a Christmas Song… in that case you might just marry us. Whether it’s pleasure or pride that cometh before a painful fall, rest assured that you can feel better than a bruised rib while you listen to this Christmas-inspired podcast.
Discussion Starters: Jon’s screentime, Chris’ skateboarding story, Kiss/marry/condemn Christmas songs, the Star of Bethlehem, being unbaptized, coveting at Christmas, Jesus the transmutation wizard, Christmas! A Newsboys Album, celebrity crush, Reading Blue Devils, Christmas song of the week.
Buy Jon’s Book!
https://www.amazon.com/Reading-Blue-Devils-Jon-Bennett/dp/069264461X
No nuts in this episode! Unless it’s swimming in your melted rocky road soup with some nutty nutty croutons… Or unless you count your three undirectors. Stay tuned for the release of our future album, Consensual Onion Consumption, with hit track, A Slaying Song Tonight.
Discussion Starters: National Brownie Day and Act Like a Time Traveler, Feast of the Immaculate Conception, is kissing a sin, Rapper/Father/BIBLE Christmas edition, what happened to the magi gifts, pain and suffering, Christmas song of the month, squishing spiders, a slaying song tonight.
Glut yourself upon the wisdom and folly of your UNdirectors, and then purge your UNgrateful attitude with us as we let out all of our UNthankfulness together. It’s a great day to gobble up some chili-covered American tacos (AKA hot dogs).
Discussion Starters: World Cup, Unthanksgiving for things like spiders and George Lucas, all-you-can-eat buffet, understanding gluttony, Thanks for Punderstanding, Thanksgiving in the Bible, Skyline Chili, bad dreams, demon genders.
This episode has been validated by the department of weights and measures to be worth approximately 3 cans of cream of mushroom soup. We do have a moderate amount of schistosity in this rockin’ pod, so get comfy and tuck yourself into your bed at the Holodeck Inn.
Discussion Starters: Special Ohio rolls and Biblical politicians, Florida man, forcing teens to go to church, caught not taught, Never Gonna Give Your Relic Up, gothic literature Thanks for Punderstanding, aliens, Star Wars or Trek future, dream interpretation, Verse of the Day.
Tuesday at the LA Fitness is the spookiest time of year, especially if the pool is filled by a swimmer’s biggest fear… river-Nazis. Face your fears with us, be they monsters, disapproving parents, or otherwise.
Discussion Starters: Fears and phobias, dressing up for Halloween, David Boreanaz’s severed tendons, Jesus costume, Halloween no-nos, urine in strange places, God created sin, Pokemon or terms, Spookly’s decorative posthumous work, behaving for rewards, stale Baby Ruth, monsters in the Bible, séances.
The deciduous leaves are falling off the trees and the laughs are falling out of our mouths. May you reap the delicious nectar with relish.
Discussion Starters: Autumn free word association, Spice girls, Jesus’ podcast, Noah calls in, Father Rapper Bible, violent video games, Christians from Japan, night seasons in Christianity.
If you have an inflamed Hasselhoffian itch, then this is the episode to help you scratch it. But be prepared to have your musical sensibilities insulted in the process. Remember, though, this is just for funzies AND it’s our 50th episodiversary… so chill out.
Discussion Starters: Golden and silver presents, bad music, mortal or venial, friendly honks and farts, interfaith marriage, Thanks for Punderstanding, strangest thing inside a person, keeping sabbath holy, Verse of the Day.
It’s time to draft Goliath as your grundlesnap quarterback for your Biblical fantasy football league. As summer burns its last flames out in on its way to spring, ignite a passion for wisdom, puns, physics, and American football.
Discussion Starters: Fantasy Football, things we learned too late in life, emotions, denominations, healings, Elijah and Enoch’s resurrection and relativity, salvation in an alternate timeline, megachurch Thanks for Punderstanding, Chandler in hot water, Boys Bibles and Burgers, Lucifer, teaching gothic horror.
Happy Labor Day to all of our Spiritual Undies and laboring day anniversary to Jon’s mom! It’s a sweltering Thursday and the perfect time to enjoy the view of Wayne’s bleach-blonde-Lance-Bass hair while he sprays you down with some tanning oil.
Discussion Starters: Weirdest jobs, Brittney fancast, Atheist recruitment, Haile Selassie, fish in a baptismal font, Jesus’ awareness of his deity, Jesus’ go-to snack, Ryan Defrates or Defakies, greatest threat to Christianity, prophetic verse of the day, the global flood.
Bienvenidos a nuestro comeback podcast in which Jon flexes his Spanish proficiency. Spit that gristle out of your mouth and join us as we creatively confront pesky prying parental eyes and get back to our gift of gab.
Discussion Starters: Spanish words, cameras in your kid’s room, pranks, sports in the garden, disrobing in Dairy Queen, Saint Teresa’s bones, JBs Thanks for Punderstanding, saddest truths about life, appreciating Mordecai.
Macho Man Randy Savage’s true identity is revealed in this stunning episode, filled with shocking slip-ups, and the origin story of Jonny B the Three. Find the Instagram post on @spiritualundirection and let us know if you have better biblical wrestling moves.
Discussion Starters: Stealing Santa/Wrestler innocence, Bible wrestling moves, loneliness, Biblical support for bachelor Jesus, bridegroom and us on the side pieces, holy 10k and daughter duties, Jon’s Thanks for Punderstanding, worship and clapping for Jesus.
Looking for God in Las Vegas? Well, the odds are not in your favor. But if you’re Tim Keller, you can at least rely on us to unflak you from all undue flak. And if you’re Rehoboam, take it easy on your father’s loins.
Discussion Starters: Perfume, farts and axe, Chris’ shower frequency, holy craps table, sevens, Shakespeare or Scripture, Purity Culture and sex ed, Thanks for Punderstanding: Hollywood Edition, cereal mascot plane of existence, verse of the day, take 1d4 psychic damage.
Get into our Spiritual D-Box and tune into some summer flicks while dodging bears, leopards, and the church of Scientology. Channel your inner Goonie and scare away that gorilla, who, sadly, isn’t Harambe.
Discussion Starters: Favorite Maverick scenes, 80s movie remake, Cruise Gibson and Cameron, Hydrogen bombs on Godzilla, cults and Nikes, using the name of God, dealing with bears and Leopards.
Glimericks? Shimmericks? What rhymes with limericks? Probably nothing, but we have plenty of attempts at it on this episode. Because nothing validates spiritual insight like a good rhyme.
Discussion Starters: Unplanned poetry, intelligent people dealing with the flood, “Dad let’s his children tell the story,” Thanks for Punderstanding: Restaurant Edition, Earth as Hell, being watched all the time, verse of the day, Aaron’s Rogers’ staff practice, Christian mascots, Peter and the popes.
Cozy up on our doghouse couch and gnash your teeth at your shortcomings while catching up on your favorite shows… mostly this one. Crack open a cold one and be your authentic self with us while we DSMR into your ears.
Discussion Starters: Jesus’ triumphal motorized entry and Rivian return, effect of unrepentance on relationships, just being yourself, the true self, talking people out of horoscopes, specificity in prophecies, Jon for Punderstanding, DSMR, reincarnated goals, Jon’s real dad and guilt.
Even if the Americas are devoured by an apocalyptic heaven-rock, we can still enjoy some peeps and a final eggmeal in these last days of holy week. Be sure to camp out in Djibouti for the fireworks at the end.
Discussion Starters: Hot Tamale Peeps, the last egg meal, where will Jesus return, Gog and Magog, 99 bottles of beer before the Big Bang, Divine Cupid Shuffle, Biblical, Apocryphal, or Chris, making holy water, do non-Catholics go to hell?
Just because we didn’t know that The Batman wasn’t in the running for this year’s Oscars doesn’t mean we’re unqualified to have an Oscars episode. Okay, maybe it does. But good news! Cinema expert Christopher Salazar joins us for this episode.
Discussion Starters: Oscar fever, Verse of the Day: Movie Edition, King James Bible: the film, Uncle Oscar, second favorite film, Oscars qualifiers, the outlawing of pinball, PTA and Wes Anderson, why Christian films are different, international films with Christian morals.
Who would win in a saint fight, Saint Nick or Saint Patty? We aren’t sure either… but we are sure that God was in Jon’s bowels, dispensing grace on his casserole-based dysentery.
Discussion Starters: Magic the Gathering card or Catholic Saint, the proper and improper uses of “by the grace of God,” taxing religious institutions, Thanks for Punderstanding, how to stop living in sin, holy cows and holy poop.
We fired Jon for 20 minutes to let special guest, professor Ramy Makar pop in to drop some REAL legit knowledge on us. Smear ash on your forehead and suit up to speak in tongues on this undirected ride.
Discussion Starters: Lent plans, Mormons chat with a Priest, Middle East Politics, Islam and Christianity on the Double Dare leaderboard, European opinions on Americans, speaking in tongues.
Look out Cupid! You’re in Wayne’s boycott crosshairs, so start shaking in your… well… you don’t wear boots, do you? Incarnational theology and bad dating advice are a sure cocktail to bring Saint Valentine’s love empire down.
Discussion Starters: Good questions for your first date, midwestern Christian bases, [love]sick Jesus, fully human God gets Covid, the Christian Bachelor at Chick-Fil-A, New Testament without Paul, floral verse of the day, free will in heaven, nuggets of romantic wisdom.
Bubbles were meant to pop, whether they be physical glycerol powered bubbles, or metaphysical crypto bubbles. Let Pharoah’s snake charmers put a technomantic spell on you as you listen to our musings.
Discussion Starters: Everlasting bubbles, heaven and Florida, forbidden words, trailer park cosmology, can demons make life, Pharoah’s snake charmers, earthbound spirits, Biblical Apocryphal or Chris, Jesus forgiving himself.
Name and claim that New Year’s momentum with our mantra: one more block! We are totally on top of our resolutions if our resolution was to get back to our core competencies… answering questions in a misguided way.
Discussion Starters: The secret to finding money in the walls, the snake chose eve, hearing decline, how to start reading the Bible, thanks for Punderstanding, Jesus is an extra-dimensional alien, a phallic resolution, coke advice, should I have called the cops, criticize a pastor, fights in Waffle House.
The most uncomfortable feast day kicks off 2022, the year of Quetzalcoatl’s belated return. And you can count on the accuracy of our predictions based on our 2021 track record with crypto currency, and furbeez, impeachments and whatnot. Send your money in to save victims of the great Ohio quake and buy CHUX/FNF!
Discussion Starters: Feast of the holy circumcision, Amanda Peach Falafel Quik in the rearview, prophetic boasts from 2021, crypto, gray messes, key board member Sarah’s toning the room with those high biscuits, The Coming of the Mega Quake, Wayne’s Mayan knowledge, Abba Zabba in Chris’ nose, O’Charley’s magic, and an actually relevant verse of the day.
A madlibbingly merry Christmas to all! Soak in all of this pre-Christmas cheer and wisdom to make your celebration of the Christ child the most beautifully undirected experience.
Christmas season celebrates both the incarnation and NOW the redemption for turkey bacon. Coat your mushrooms in this greasy episode and hop on the magic school bus with cancer-fighting-waterbears and nanobots.
Discussion Starters: Understanding Bobtails, turkey eschatology, speaking Turkish, surgery ethics, grownup Christmas wishlists, non-believers celebrating Christmas, MLA essays, war on Christmas, cannibal seasonings, meaning of mass, Coptic relic stocking stuffer.
This advent we produce and tackle a lot of challenging ideas within the first 8 minutes Billy Ray Syphilis, Alexa Dystopian Hellscapes, and Kool-Aid Man Anime. Try your best not to get honkified by the Devil as you hone your proper yodel technique.
Discussion Starters: Lightning deals on Black Friday, artificial intelligence, God and country music, genres of music in the Bible, non-Christians wearing crosses, Groff in the Matrix, piercings in undisclosed locations, One Star Reviews from Amazon, anger at sinners, verse of the day, no thrusting jokes.
Welcome to your Midwestern Thanksgiving pregame where our dogs kill chickens, we like our green beans mushy, and we smother everything with mayo. Also, Chris makes himself cry with laughter for 5 minutes.
Discussion Starters: Inflections of green bean casserole, hidden chicken carcasses, parenting children who doubt, two lost sons, parenting tv principals, Biblical-Apocryphal-Chris, a cure for death, help with dream demons, preaching the true word.
The Spooktacular Cake-pop Express departs from the station now! Fold yourself up in a naked chicken taco and help us decipher denominational differences via tacos and desserts, with a special side of salacious scripture reading.
Discussion Starters: Early spooky memories, Christian horror movies, differences between protestants and Catholics, tacos and cakes, dyslexics and heaven, Hebrew metal, a serious Tool adventure, seeing angels in the modern world, Bible verses with inappropriate tree metaphors.
You know it’s our first podcast birthday because Jon’s wearing diapers, Wayne underwent a robotic/child voice change, and Chris tried something new for once.
Discussion Starters: Favorite bits, DC Talk or Eazy E, Good Pope Bad Pope, Thanks for Punderstanding, Patron saint of what, Verse of the Day.
Dear Mrs. Bennett, this one’s for you. But if you’re not Jon’s wife and the recipient of his unnecessary gushing, you’ll have plenty of content that still is applicable for you, like Steve Hitler and Frankston Churchill.
Discussion Starters: Devious Licks, morality of theft, Hitler’s descendants, male and/or female God, celestial jellyfish in your pants, good pope bad pope, Jezebel spirits and Deborah spirits, narcissism, verse of the day, 8,666 Dijorno pizzas.
Oh, you didn’t know that Jon was the sixth member of a 90’s pop band?! Maybe if you would have been on Wayne’s criminal trial, the Filipino witness would have filled you in. Or you can just listen to this episode for all the SPICY details.
Discussion Starters: Autumn vibes, jury duty, late night gluttony, freedom to teleport, bosses in heaven, why God does unnecessary things, demon telemarketer zombies, Reese’s temptation cups, the tree of knowledge of good and evil, Thanks for Punderstanding, the purpose of millennials.
Happy patriotic non-unionized Biblical Labor Day! Open ye, thine King James Bibles and watch Kiefer Sutherland’s 23 with us! Be sure to dress to the nines, or at least wear more than the Gerasene demoniac.
Discussion Starters: Biblical occupations, best Bible versions, forced Bible reading, Catholic scripture reading, church dress code, chocolate covered random stuff, astrology and zodiac signs, Spiritual Undirection airsofting club, the smell of our ghosts, self-fulfilling prophetic names.
Given enough time, we all become Wayne’s descendants. Even in Tanzania! While we wait for the world to inherit Wayne’s genes, delight yourself with film references, geneticist citations, and Buzzfeedesque quizzes.
Discussion Starters: Sandler flicks, processing school trauma, Adam and Eve’s salvation, innocence vs purity, Swamidass and 23&me, Wizards of the Catholic Church, spouses/sex in heaven, Stand fast in it.
Our first trigger warning: if you have snake, worm, or bathroom related phobias, you may need to skip the opening and concluding bits. But don’t skip too far ahead and miss the speaking in tongues story!
Discussion Starters: Simple pleasures, reverse popcorn hoodie, talking with and in tongues, single Christian women and ratios, good and bad altar calls, Lutheran demon issues, wisdom vs rulers, Noah’s tapeworms.
Someone, call the doctor! We’ve been struck by Olympic fever and it’s sweeping the internet! Namaste to you and your 3v3 basketball bible study squad. And for the record... Wayne said "Should"... but we beeped it for funzies.
Discussion Starters: Wayne’s use of should, handball bikinis, bear feet, God’s non-comp deal with Nike, Thanks for Punderstanding 2 the sequel, red and sweaty from Bible Study, holy and pagan yoga, stealing pagan practices.
Bust out your Florence + The Machine vinyls and your flea collars for these doggie days of summer. The only way to avoid the bad luck associated with this astrological sign is to cleanse your soul with a holy Gary Busey endorsed relic.
Discussion Starters: Rat infestations, witnessing signs in Las Vegas, Karma XP, Chris’ old business idea, having God’s power for a day, culinary heaven and hell, twinkie pairings, why people care about relics, Satan the murderer, best fruit to eat your fill of.
It’s our 21st episode birthday ya’ll! Jon goes all out for this celebration and gives us glimpses into his life of urine defiance at swimming pools, hand gestures at sports games, and brings a skunk as a special guest. Chris brings a new game and Wayne takes one step closer to a Stargate restraining order.
Discussion Starters: Mortal and venial sin, curse words, leaving early from ballgames, Jon’s hand gestures, pirated videos, no means no skunk, peeing in pools, unfulfilled Jesus prophecies, the silence of God, Thanks for Punderstanding, Jesus’ skin color.
Take two capsules of Divine gut biota probiotics and quickly grab the nearest ark to store the ensuing flatulence. Be sure to chase those pills with some guilt prayers and affix Elijah’s astronaut helmet.
Discussion Starters: Summer heat oppression and plans, religions and birth control, Solomon’s parenting skills, CBN roleplay, America’s Next Top Christian Model, death upon seeing God, ark of the covenant, God’s location, hijabs in church, a prophecy for Stargate fans.
Someone actually answers questions on this one… and it’s not one of our normal hosts. Baptism, finding your life’s mission, the rapture, and the end of evangelism. We still make room for musings on mugwort market value and a tour through the verse of the day.
Discussion Starters: Cicada plagues, Chris’ blackhead Old Faithful, female Roman Catholic priests, Amish mafia, sheeeeesh, boi, and the reformation, wallet chain clown stories, psychic oil bargains, find my mission, Jesus the marine, Wayne’s profile picture, baptism from personal to public, Oikos flavor of choice, the last ethnae to hear the gospel on Mars.
Jon funnels his insecurities into judgy parental and speciesist moments, Wayne bonds with a silverback gorilla over a soda, and Chris refuses to shake his primate fixation in this episode as they travel from the deep dinosaur past to the far multilingual Star Trekkian future.
Discussion Starters: [ir]Rational fears, Jambo and Binti Jua, Jesus’ physical body in heaven, meditating soulless primates, stegoceras, Live Long and Gospel (Star Trek or Bible language), God’s insistence on other gods, Mike L’s oleander oil, resurrection or resuscitated, pets in the afterlife.
Join the Koinonia Donut Bandit, Spiritual Metamucil, and a non-disappointing published author for a guided tour through Rock and Roll Land, pizza miracles, the four Batmans, and armpit fungus.
Discussion Starters: Leviathan or Behemoth, Skittles and donuts, what we love about being religious, Sacred or Secular Rock Edition, Jesus’ first miracle, the differing gospel accounts, the importance of Leviticus, narcissists in church, Lil Nas X Satan Shoes.
Looking for a significant spiritual and financial investment! Well, have we got a relic for you! We recorded on 4/20 and made sure to get plenty of Yahoo! answers questions to commemorate its rapidly approaching death.
Discussion Starters: Yahoo Answers’ imminent death, Peppa Pig Qanon trigger, COVID Rapture, vaccine mark of the beast, anti-shema, Cain’s wife, Kanye Kim and us, Holy Sponge Relic, skin secretions, demon cocaine, paying for baptism.
For this episode we got approval right from the angelic second in command. Angelic CFO Tim commissioned a financial accounting of greasy sandwiches and Yeezys. Ethical dilemmas and moral insight abound as a result.
Discussion Starters: McDonald’s poisoning, being left unread, disheartening prayer studies, Preachers n Sneakers, pastor booty and expensive running shoes, inappropriate church URLs, Jon’s new take on evolution, Biblical oil spills.
Repeat after me. “Undirectors forgive us for we have sinned.” Whether you have committed moral sins, social sins, or a good old fashioned whoopsie daisy, we have just the penance for you! A lovely mélange of real answers and playful banter in this one!
Discussion Starters: Lenten check-ins, Bovine Jovi, appropriate penance, Ananias and Sapphira’s salvation status, my Achan back, militaristic Christian metaphors, Biblical quotes of Jon’s real estate agent, God listening to our podcast, Jesus gets “the talk.”
To commemorate the upcoming Saint Patrick’s Day, it appears that the Lord hath guided the rolling of the dice and the opening of the Word to a place of high impropriety in this week’s verse of the day. We tremble at the significance of this convergence.
Discussion Starters: Moral, venial and social sins, Chris’ hummus, the reason the floor is wet in the public restroom, sharing milk, contraband snakes in Ireland, Veggie Tales repentance, fasting payoff, Wayne Tyson, hunger cues, blushworthy verse of the day.
A work of fiction births some deep moments straight out of our mind wombs thanks to the collective brilliance of Chris and Kristen Prayer from the Chronically: Narnia podcast. Plenty of Narnia, C.S. Lewis fandom and theology, and some meaty side convos on alcohol and biblical nudity.
Discussion Starters: Lenten sacrifices, Ham meat candy, Noah’s water chestnuts, Wayne’s magical furniture, deep magic God, Turkish drug combos, Narnia’s Trinity, Lewis’ canon, Dawntreader ride, rock-hard hard rock secular or Christian, Korn in the shower.
Check out more from Chris and Kristen on Chronically: Narnia >> https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/chronically-narnia/id1480925127
We figured out a lot of stuff in this one. How to broker peace with fringe groups, how to calculate sin maximums, how to get everything you want. You definitely owe us for this one.
Discussion Starters: Fringe group battles Qwanin v Antifuh, sin maximum, effective wish prayers, the secret to getting what you want, Ronald McDonald’s voice in my head, media conscience absorbs a past prophetic word, Emmanuel or Jesus, Mordecai and the true kings of Media.
Well, we’ve done it… we’ve successfully channeled an additional professional Christian into our podcast ether waves. Expert film analysis, legit apologetics, and good old fashioned ribbing throughout.
Discussion Starters: Heaping condemnation upon Disney’s Soul, racist Peter Pan, Hasselhoff’s name in vain, channeling an apologist, rational and subjective views of scripture, God’s preferred pronouns, anti-moped bias, best surf movie, Spiritual or Secular?
Thanks to Brett Kunkle for joining us! Check out his materials, books, and conferences at maventruth.com
Backflip off of Chongolungma with us and consider the sins in your life. Rock out with Pan, but don’t let your ash be exposed at the rapture and learn how to make it past the receipt checker at the gates of heaven.
Discussion Starters: God’s love for Satan, fish inspired angels, the gatekeeper Mr. Terrific, Peter the line-leader Peter and Thaddeus the illiterate disciple, Jason Mimosa is Samson, Rosanne gets swallowed by a fish, and grinding + cremation at the Pharisee’s Corner.
Join us as we don our gluten-free spiritually-woke glasses to decipher the angelic word “Shudda Bottahonduh Buddai Bottakia.” Pray about it. Follow our advice and you are sure to get rich in 2021 and survive the apocalypse. CLEAN UP THE GRAY MESS.
Discussion Starters: Spontaneous word from God, small African country soccer teams, Furbeez confessional, bread, cryptocurrencies, celebrity Christian church, non-specific enemies and beasts, diarrhea trampolines, southeast Asian tongues of angels, smelter boom, water faeries BH squirtgun.
Merry Christmas, UnDirected amigos! Enjoy a slightly more irreverent take on the classic Christmas reflections, manger scene staples, and seasonal favorites. And yep... we sing in this one. But only for a little bit, and half-heartedly.
Discussion Starters: Manger scene faves, CHRISTmas tunes, reverse engineering divine genetics, the Magi MASH, Chingy and Jesus’ accommodations, Rudolph’s Bible cameo, Joel’s inspiration cubes, casting the nativity, and introducing two new wisemen, Ünkerdanger and Flingerdop.
Anyone in marketing and product development? This episode has some revolutionary product ideas straight out of the UnDirectors’ imaginarium. Buckle up for a biblical tour through illicit acts with sacred statues and an inordinate amount of David Hasselhoff references.
Discussion Starters: Flavored nylon bones for jaw health, CarePods™ therapy headphones, spiritual gas and window wood, Elf Cult, secret tumors, salvation by Wikipedia, Abner the time traveler, immortally forty-two, Depends at the movies.
Lots of food and urination talk in this one with Wayne as the quesadilla cheese filling and Chris as both Johnny Mac and Kris. Also, WARNING, there’s a serious 5 minute stretch where Jon only was able to sneak in a single pun. We apologize and it won’t happen again.
Discussion Starters: Bioluminescent toilet bowl. Foreknowledge at the white elephant exchange. Two sides of shame and objectification. Pastoral care corner with permissive Saint Quiche. Toilet seats or Ezekiel’s mothership. Jon’s first alien girlfriend. Bill Nye the converted evangelist.
Ever wondered what your spirit bone is connected to? Let’s hope it’s not connected to this episode where we take a wild ride on the Starbucks train with stops at special bones, animal souls, Hell poets, and communion. In the interest of everyone’s health, we refused to get off the train at the dice-determined chauvinism stop.
Discussion Starters: Nogged eggs and pralined chestnuts. Being a spirit bone-ist. Road-killed turtle souls and their shell sensations. AC/DC and Lord Byron at Hell’s gates. 1 Timothy’s Eve bashing. Transubstantiation and Jesus’ growing bread body.
This one is admittedly quiz and trivia heavy, but we still make plenty of time to discuss whether or not we should stone a modern prophet for false asteroid predictions and which ancient holy person you should pray to for help with your hemorrhoids. A serious moment or two also on how to experience the presence of God.
Discussion Starters: Is Jerry (AKA Jer Bear) Feeling God? Who are the new patron saints of quiche, broken shot glasses, and disappointed fathers? Brooklyn Dodgers rise to the world series. Pat Robertson’s impeccable prophetic record. Catholic people or Anglican institution? Are Lauren Dagle and Foreigner Christian or Secular?
In our second inaugural episode we conclusively prove that McDonald’s pyrite arches are heaven and the gift shop at the Vatican is hell. When our fit bodies jog through those pearly gates, we hope to hear the radiant sounds of the Eagles, Led Zeppelin, and Toby Mac collaboration of Stairway to Hotel Heaven.
Discussion Starters: Why do theocracies suck? Which to choose, science or religion? Pope-blessed rosaries at the Vatican Gift Shop. Jesus’ vegetarianism and pescatarianism? Subconscious Ouija boards? Heaven’s exit door? What band plays heaven’s gates?