Learning To Live Free: Recent Episodes
Julia Freeman
In this podcast, Julia Freeman, an anonymous survivor shares her experience with you. She will also bring you interviews with other survivors and anyone else who can shed light on narcissistic abuse, domestic violence, and healing for survivors and their children. This podcast is meant to be a place where you can come for encouragement, healing, and the tools you need to help you live free. More about Julia; after being married for over twenty years she finally woke up from denial and escaped and is now living with her children in relative peace. She has a heart for survivors and their children and shares her experience in the hope that it will help others live a better life and avoid the mistakes she made.You can find her work at Juliafreemfree.medium.com
Today I'm talking about grief over the future we lost when we got out of an abusive relationship. How do we deal with it and is it normal?
Topics:
Grief
What is a normal expectation of happiness
When the past comes for us
We have been through rapid change and our minds and emotions have to catch up with everything that has happened
Feeling uncomfortable in our new lives
Reframing the future
Taking the time to grieve instead of distracting yourself
Making space for the future
The gifts that come along with grief
Make a safety plan for difficult days
There is light on the other side of grief
Sometimes I Think the Grief Over My Failed Life Will Never Be Over
Support the showRemember you deserve to live in freedom and peace,
Julia
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I almost quit this podcast. Yikes! I'm here now so let's jump right into the episode.
Topics:
What's been going on
Why we start new projects when we need to make a major decision
Order from chaos
The Home Edit
All abuse is physical abuse
Why we need other survivors in our lives
Where the Crawdads Sing
Isolation
Allowing others to love us
Keep fighting against the abuse to move into your future
Be brave
Take care of yourself
Resources:
The Home Edit
Get Organized with The Home Edit
Where the Crawdads Sing
Wilderness to Wild
All Abuse is Physical Abuse
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Julia
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Today's episode is inspired by Mother's Day. How does sharing children with a narcissist impact your parenting?
Topics:
What I learned this week
Narcissists and their relationships with their mothers and other women
The narcissist's relationship with the mother of their children
Mother's Day and dreading being treated well
Gifts come with a price
How and why a narcissist replaces you as mother of your children
How the narcissist rewrites your children's memories
How the narcissist sets the new person up to take the blame in the future
How to reinforce your role as mother when it is being attacked by the narcissist
Making new memories with your kids
Your freedom to be the mother you always dreamed of
A little pep talk
Happy Mother's Day
Support the showRemember you deserve to live in freedom and peace,
Julia
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What does abuse look like? Today I give examples of non-physical abuse.
Topics:
Obvious physical abuse
"Accidental" physical abuse
Show of violence
Controlling freedom of movement
Spying
Financial control
Abuse of children, loved ones, pets
Taking your independence away
Resources:
The Subtleties of Abuse
Poison Control
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Julia
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Today we are talking about taking time to rest and relax.
Topics:
Why we need to slow down and take a break from our thoughts and lives
How to make taking space easier when you aren't used to letting your mind relax
A list of ways to take a break
M&M's Caramel Cold Brew
Taking a Break for Mental Health and Healing
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Julia
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Today we are going to get real and work on the thoughts going on in our minds. You didn't cause the abuse and it is not your fault. Let's continue to break the hold abusers have over us by giving the responsibility for their behavior back to them.
Topics:
Abuse is not your fault
We struggle to believe that we didn't cause someone to abuse us
Acceptance
There is a time to ask why and how and a time to let it go and move forward
There is nothing wrong with you
The expectations of a narcissist for their relationship and how it is abusive
You didn't do anything to deserve abuse
How to break free from blaming yourself for the abuse
It's never okay for someone to abuse another person
The abuser chose to abuse
Change your mental narrative about abuse
Find your value in the right place and from the right people
You are a survivor
Support the showRemember you deserve to live in freedom and peace,
Julia
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Today I am going to talk about how I came out of denial that my relationship was abusive. It was a long, painful process to face the truth. My hope is that what I share may help you move through it faster than I did.
Resources:
The Power and Control Wheel
How I Came Out of Denial
Support the showRemember you deserve to live in freedom and peace,
Julia
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You need a mantra! You do. It can help you change your thought process and keep you moving forward on your healing journey.
Topics:
How I received a mantra from a friend.
Tips for finding a mantra.
Examples of mantras.
What to do with your mantra.
How a mantra helps your mind heal.
Resources:
Future Survivors: You Need a Mantra
Future Survivors: You Need a Purpose
Create Your Playlist
Support the showRemember you deserve to live in freedom and peace,
Julia
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Here are the things I wish I knew when I left. I had no idea of what was to come or what would have made it easier for me to go through this time of transition.
Topics:
You are on a long road to when things will be stable and peaceful again.
Put on your oxygen mask first so you can help others later.
You are growing and changing rapidly.
Your children are dazed and confused.
Build your stamina for the future to come.
Let go of the guilt.
Educate yourself on narcissistic abuse and domestic violence.
Coming to terms with what you have gone through so you can move to survivorship.
Resources:
Dr. Ramani
Encouragement for the New Survivor
Regaining Self-Worth After Narcissistic Abuse
Survivors, Are You Hiding Your Scars?
Support the showRemember you deserve to live in freedom and peace,
Julia
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Today I'm talking about the single mom struggle of parenting sons, especially sons who don't have a good role model for a father. How do you do your best to set a healthy foundation for the future of your sons? That's what we're here to explore.
Topics:
Gentle, trauma-informed parenting
A foundation of trust and how to build it
Helping children learn accountability when they have seen the men around them use manipulation and lies to shirk responsibility
Correcting sons while staying out of your emotions
Teaching our sons to be honest and accountable
Leading your children to freedom and peace
Continue to heal so you can help your children
A caution about anger
Our sons will be adults with us some day
Remember you deserve to live in freedom and peace,
Julia
Support the showRemember you deserve to live in freedom and peace,
Julia
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Today I'm talking about unlearning some of the unwelcome lessons we've learned in abusive relationships.
Topics:
What you learn in an abusive relationship
What to unlearn
How to unlearn
Tell yourself the truth
Own your truth
Learn new things/create new memories
See the truth about the narcissist's projection
Continue your healing journey
Peace,
Julia
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Julia
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Today I talk about a disturbing realization I have had about an incident I survived while one of the narcissists in my life stood by and watched.
Topics:
A difficult question to answer
The story of the Good Samaritan shows us this is an age-old problem
The ultimate betrayal
Our common experience with narcissism
Facing what we have been through and asking difficult questions to help us heal
My theory on how our minds seek more healing over time as we grow strong enough
to face the truth
Spiral shaped healing
Growing self-awareness and self-trust as we heal
Asking our minds to help us heal in a way that keeps us safe
Filing things away in your mind for future healing
Feel the fear and do it anyway
Building your support system to help you through the difficult times of healing
Finding online support you can use today
The power in sharing our stories
Narcissists only value themselves
Continue forward in your healing journey
Growing into freedom
The beauty after the darkness
Support the showRemember you deserve to live in freedom and peace,
Julia
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Communicating with a narcissist can be tricky. Let's talk about how to stay safe and sane when you have to be in contact with a difficult person.
Topics:
Communication with a narcissist
Analyze previous communications to make a plan for the future
Ideas for low-contact communication
Protecting yourself
Being emotionless with a narc sends them on their way
Tips for communicating
Make rules for yourself and stick to them
Having a trusted advisor on call
Keeping your emotions out of communication with narcissists
Diffusing the situation so the narcissist loses interest in you and leaves you alone
Reaction vs. response
Boundaries for communication
Healthy coping skills
Reward yourself
Choose when you will communicate with them
Set up a support system
Encouragement
Have a wonderful week!
Julia
Support the showRemember you deserve to live in freedom and peace,
Julia
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It's time for a new intro episode. Find out what my goals are for this podcast, who I am, and why I'm here for you.
Topics:
Who am I?
Past to present
Why am I podcasting?
Future episode topics
My goals for the podcast
Resources available to you
The future
Indiana University Bloomington Trauma Informed Care Professional Development Certificate
Remember you deserve to live in freedom and peace,
Julia
Support the showRemember you deserve to live in freedom and peace,
Julia
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In today's show I share a new understanding I had of why the narcissist needs one of his/her children to be a scapegoat.
Topics covered this week:
- The narcissistic family system
- The children's roles as assigned by the narcissist
- Chaos reigns in a narcissistic family system
- My theory of how the narcissist uses the scapegoat child to redeem their childhood failings.
- The similarities and differences between the golden child and scapegoat roles
- Help for children of narcissistic parents
- How the court system fails child victims of narcissistic abuse
"The more we understand the roles children play in these family systems the more we can help them."
Here's an article I wrote to go along with this podcast episode.
The Narcissist's Family System: The Scapegoat
Thanks for listening,
Julia
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Julia
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Today I share an amazing story of how God provided a beautiful gift for me and my children when I moved into my apartment after living in a domestic violence shelter for almost a year. Two years later I found out who gave us this gift and how she blessed me again.
There are amazing people who have suffered from abuse and tragedy but chose to come out loving and serving others after their walk through fire.
Look for the blessings that come to you in your life when you least expect them.
Please share any amazing blessings you have received and I will mention them in a future episode. Learning to Live Free Facebook Community
Be blessed!
Support the showRemember you deserve to live in freedom and peace,
Julia
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"It took me awhile before I ould look back and stop making excuses for the behavior and accept it for what it was."
Disclaimer: Details have been changed and my intention is not to "call out" anyone I have known. If you see yourself in this behavior maybe it is time to consider getting help.
Topics:
A caution on how to interpret these examples in your situation.
Narcissists use "loving" behavior to keep you under control.
Examples of narcissistic behavior.
I referenced an article I wrote on Medium in this episode.
Real-Life Examples of Narcissistic Behavior
Be blessed and remember you deserve to live in freedom and peace,
Julia
Support the showRemember you deserve to live in freedom and peace,
Julia
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Are you suffering from nightmares as a survivor? Is there hope to be free in your dreams and your waking life?
Topics:
Nightmares are common for trauma survivors
My experience with nightmares
Things you can do to help yourself
The most helpful thing I tried
Resources available through therapy, medication, etc
Reference Articles:
10 ways to conquer adult nightmares and get better sleep
How to Stop Having Nightmares
My Article on Nightmares:
Do You Suffer From Nightmares After Narcissistic Abuse?
Support the showRemember you deserve to live in freedom and peace,
Julia
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Hello! I am back for a new season of the Learning to Live Free Podcast. Let's start off by choosing a word of the year.
Topics:
Choosing a word of the year.
Word of the year vs. resolutions
How to use your word of the year
Recap on my word of the year for 2022
What your word of the year may look like in a time of crisis
Hitting your rock bottom
Hope for the future
The importance of rebuilding on a solid foundation
My word of the year for 2023
Learning to stretch into freedom
Dreams
Sharing your story with others
Riding off into the sunset
Medium articles mentioned in this episode:
Finding Balance in the New Year
Resolutions or Word of the Year
Resources I mentioned:
Flylady
Boss-Mom
Dave Ramey
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I'm chatting this week about what is up with me and why I might be missing for awhile.
Please keep moving forward with your healing and living in freedom and peace.
Happy Holidays,
Julia
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This episode was inspired by an article I wrote on July 11, 2021.
The Narcissist is Dead Inside
Topics:
How and why the narc is dead inside
How narcissism can be like alcoholism
The walking dead narcs don't understand the living
Did the narc choose to become dead?
Are there different levels of narcissism and what does it mean in how we interact with them?
Children and the narcissist
Go no contact
Keep healing
There is hope
You are loved
You are needed
Remember you deserve to live in freedom and peace,
Julia
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This week I share what has been on my heart lately.
Topics:
Holidays
-getting through them
-making new traditions
-enjoying the holidays again as you heal
-picture-perfect narc holidays
How I celebrated Thanksgiving and made it a holiday we could enjoy
Getting through the winter blahs
Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown
Love and belonging
Future relationships
Raising our standards for loving and being loved
An encouraging story:
-encourage other women
-the importance of pouring love into other women as a woman
-women raised by narc moms need to be loved by other women
-pouring love into our daughters to help them know what love truly is so they won't settle for a bad relationship.
My experience of being "remothered" after I left my abusive relationship.
Showing appreciation for women who have encouraged and loved us.
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Here is my review of the book Disarming the Narcissist Surviving and Thriving with the Self-Absorbed by Wendy T. Behary, LCSW(As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases).
I share the list of chapters and my thoughts on who this book is for and who it is not for. I also share what I learned from the book and how it confirmed my decision to leave the narcissist I was married to.
If you have read this book please let me know what you think.
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Today I'm sharing an episode from the private Learning to Live Free Book Club podcast so you can see what we are up to over there.
Join the LTLF Book Club Community.
Join the LTLF Book Club Community.
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It's time to stop believing the lies the narcissist told you about yourself.
Topics:
Where do the negative thoughts you think about yourself come from?
How the process of unbrainwashing works.
Trust friends to help you learn the truth about yourself.
How a mental health professional can help you realize you are not crazy.
Protecting yourself while you are healing.
Forgiveness gives you increased freedom from bullies.
Here's the article I read in the episode:
Don't Believe the Lies the Narcissist Told You About Yourself
Join the Learning to Live Free Book Club. We will read a new book together each month that will help us continue to heal and grow in strength. You receive access to a private podcast and Facebook group. I can't wait to see you there!
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Today I'm talking all about how difficult it can be to change.
Here's the article I read in the podcast:
Change is Uncomfortable
If you're going through a lot of change right now and it's difficult don't give up. It will be worth it in the end.
Have a great week,
Julia
Join the Learning to Live Free Book Club. We will read a new book together each month that will help us continue to heal and grow in strength. You receive access to a private podcast and Facebook group. I can't wait to see you there!
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In this episode I review:
You Can Thrive After Narcissistic Abuse by Melanie Tonia Evans (As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.)
I share what the book is about, the healing methods used, and what I liked about the book.
I think it's a great tool to help you in your healing journey if you are comfortable working with you inner self and using visualizations.
If you would like to support the show you can Buy Me a Coffee.
Join the Learning to Live Free Book Club. We will read a new book together each month that will help us continue to heal and grow in strength. You receive access to a private podcast and Facebook group. I can't wait to see you there!
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Hi! Welcome to episode 50.
As we live our busy lives it can be difficult to live in the moment. Learning to live in the moment at least some of the time is healing and helps you break bad thought habits. It's important to see the beauty in our everyday lives and embrace the gifts we are given each day.
After a busy day pushing myself through my fatigue I realize I had forgotten to experience my life. This is not how I want to live so I took some time that day to observe the world around me and appreciate spending time with my children.
Going through trauma can keep us in survival mode. When we stop and look for something beautiful in each day this breaks the trauma habit and helps us learn to relax and enjoy life again.
In this episode I cover:
Living in the moment.
Embracing the seasons and where we live.
Examples of special daily moments.
The gratitude list.
Find beauty even on the worst days.
Slowing life down.
Pulling meaning from our lives and the world around us.
Have a wonderful week,
Julia
Join the Learning to Live Free Book Club. We will read a new book together each month that will help us continue to heal and grow in strength. You receive access to a private podcast and Facebook group. I can't wait to see you there!
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Did you hear the news? I'm starting a book club for survivors. In this episode, I share more about the value in reading and learning in a supportive community.
Topics:
Therapy. At some point we have to pursue our healing for ourselves.
Education empowers you
Reading
Let's read and learn together
The importance of community and support while you are healing
How difficult it can be to communicate with people who don't understand us.
We need other survivors.
What the book club membership includes
An introduction to the first book we will be reading,
A parenting pep talk
Books I mentioned in this episode:
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Will I Ever Be Good Enough?: Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers by Dr. Karyl McBride Ph.D.
Divorce Poison: How to Protect Your Family from Bad-mouthing and Brainwashing by Dr. Richard A. Warshak
Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself by Melody Beattie
November first we will start reading:
Disarming the Narcissist: Surviving and Thriving with the Self-Abosrbed by Wendy T. Behary LCSW
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Join the Learning to Live Free Book Club. We will read a new book together each month that will help us continue to heal and grow in strength. You receive access to a private podcast and Facebook group. I can't wait to see you there!
Support the showFind me on:
Learningtolivefree.me
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Medium
Support the show by buying me a coffee.
Before we get to the show notes I wanted to share some news. I started a book club!!! We will start reading Disarming the Narcissist: Surviving and Thriving with the Self-Absorbed by Wendy T. Behary on November 1st. I am so excited to read and learn with you so we can become stronger and move forward in our healing.
I'll be recording a private podcast episode for each chapter and come up with some activities we can do to help us learn. I have also set up a private Facebook group where we can discuss the book, build community, and have fun. You can check it out at The Learning to Live Free Book Club on Podfan.
And now to the show notes:
We are empathetic people so naturally we feel pity or concern for the narcissists in our lives. It's time to take that energy and return it to yourself or those who deserve it. I propose that when you stop wasting energy on the narcissist you will reach a new level of healing. I think of it as keeping energy I can use to better my life instead of giving it to the narcissist who doesn't even care about it.
Topics:
Focus on yourself
Guilt
Don't allow others to use you
Put responsibility back where it belongs
Enablers stop the narcissist from hitting rock bottom
What is and is not your responsibility
Change
Repairing your foundation
Consequences
Losing ourselves to help the narcasissist
Using your energy properly
False selfishness
Heal yourself first
Growing stronger as a parent
Accepting help from others
Helping others in a responsible way
Setting an example as a survivor to help others choose freedom
Here's the article I read in the episode:
Stop Having Empathy for the Narcissist
You can find me on:
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Julia
Join the Learning to Live Free Book Club. We will read a new book together each month that will help us continue to heal and grow in strength. You receive access to a private podcast and Facebook group. I can't wait to see you there!
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In this episode I cover all the reasons communicating in the same way over and over with a narcissist is the definition of insanity and talk about how to change the cycle of insanity.
Here's the article I read in the episode. Don't Expect Sanity From the Narcissist
Topics:
Communication with a narcissist is the definition of insanity.
Emotional detachment
How narcs play games but you don't have to.
Low-contact with a narc co-parent and how it can change over time. Tips to set boundaries to make the situation easier to tolerate.
Attorneys love to communication drama and will encourage you to try to get a narc to flip out. This is not good for your peace and may not matter in the long run. You have to do what is right for you.
Training the narcissist to communicate in a more respectful way. It can be done!
Parallel parenting with a narcissistic co-parent. Don't expect the narc to follow the rules.
Making the transition from home to home easier on your children.
Your healing repels the narcissist.
Safety- physical and emotional and tips to help you stay and feel safe.
Setting privacy boundaries for your home and the other parent's home.
How to deal with the messages the narc parent sends through your children.
What to do when you've been triggered. How to recover.
It's time to do something different when you communicate with a narcissist and stop the insanity.
Figuring out how to stop being fuel for a narc. Don't let them use you anymore.
Peace, love, and healing,
Julia
Medium
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Hi everyone,
Have you ever wondered why it's so hard for people to leave an abusive relationship? In this episode, I explore the reasons why. Any person who has made it out should be commended.
Topics:
Why women don't leave, it's more complicated than people think.
Denial keeps victims trapped.
Some red flags that show someone is dangerous.
Problems within the family court system keep people from leaving.
Fear for the children's safety.
The shame and embarrassment that victims and survivors have about what they have been through.
Fear of never being in a new relationship because of the scars they carry.
Hope for after escape.
Victims have to rebuild what was lost after the relationship.
Why we need to speak up.
What survivors need to get out and stay out.
The importance of having someone to cheer you on.
Here's the article I referenced in this episode:
If You Ran to Freedom
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In this episode, I share who I am trying to turn around the guilt and stress about not making enough money as a single mom.
Being a single parent is difficult enough without carrying around guilt about not making enough money, having a better home, giving the children the best of everything. What if we intentionally chose when we would work so we could have more time with our children? Is it okay to make the minimum of what you need and give your children less so they can have more time with you?
Topics:
What do you really "have" to do each day?
Letting go and let the problems take care of themselves.
Is it wrong to work and make less so you can have more time with your children?
The world's idea of success vs. our children's idea of success.
Living in the present and being content with our decisions.
Our children are only young for a short period of time. We can make more and strive for more success in our careers later.
Stress can make you sick. Let's work on letting go of what we can't control so we can live a lower stress life.
Take time each day to think about what is going well in your single parent journey and try to build on what is working.
The importance of making memories with our children.
Children of single parents need as much parenting time as children in a two parent household.
Make time to take care of yourself.
Medium
Learningtolivefree.me
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How and Why to Forgive the Unforgivable With Life Coach Carol Madden
In this episode, Carol Madden joins me to discuss:
The moment that changed everything for her and set her on the path to leaving an abusive relationship.
Forgiveness, especially the struggle survivors can face and how it helps you move forward.
The grief cycle and how it pertains to forgiveness and healing.
Acceptance of who you were in the abusive relationship.
Self love/self talk
Inner child work
Coaching
You can find the two articles we discussed below:
A Guide to Surviving and Thriving Through Divorce
Self Love Is Not a Bubble Bath
If you would like to learn more about Carol and connect with her online please visit:
Medium
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If you would like to share your story or help survivors by being on my show please email me at:
Juliafreemanfree@gmail.com
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Hi!
This week I pull up an article from my Medium archives to read and discuss. You can find the whole article over on my blog or on Medium. I'll leave links to both below.
After I left the narcissist I felt like I was 18 again which was kind of fun but not appropriate for someone over 40. I have spent the last few years catching up with my actual age as I learned how to be an adult after being controlled for so long.
In this episode, I explore my theory that being with a narcissist keeps us immature or at least greatly slows down the rate at which we gain maturity.
Why do I think this? I think we slow our growth out of survival. A narcissist never matures so to be in a relationship with someone like that you will quickly surpass them mentally and emotionally. The narcissist will find this challenging since they won't grow and will make it difficult for you to become who you should be.
I hope you find this episode helpful and would appreciate your thoughts on the subject.
Here is a link to the episode blog post where you can find a full transcript of the episode.
Find the original article below:
Being With a Narcissist Stunted My Growth
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Today I’m talking about going to court and making it as easy as possible.
Topics include:
How to prepare.
What to wear.
Having a support system on standby.
What to take with you.
What is expected of you in the courtroom.
How not to lose your cool on the stand.
After I discuss court dates I talk about what has happened with my children:
Parental alienation
How to love your children when they reject you.
Radical acceptance
I hope you never have to go to court but if you do be prepared so you will do well.
You can find the original article I referenced in this episode on my blog and on Medium. Links below.
Medium
Learningtolivefree.me
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In this episode I share some of the things I learned about retaining and working with an attorney. Hopefully, you won’t ever need this information.
Topics covered:
My step by step plan for how I retained an attorney.
What I learned by working with attorneys for the past few years.
Tips to make meeting with your attorney as productive as possible.
How to communicate effectively with your attorney.
You can find the original article on my blog and medium at the links below.
Medium
Learningtolivefree.me
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In this episode of the podcast, I’m talking about the backup plan single parents need to have in order to protect themselves from disaster.
As single parents, we have more to fear from a few missed days of work or being laid off. Here are the topics I cover in the episode:
The emergency fund and one month’s income. The importance of a proper mindset about money management and saving to help you build your savings.
Continued learning and building your resume. Have enough skills so you can make more, find a new job easily, and have something to fall back on.
The importance of the side-hustle for making ends meet and as a potential full-time income.
Self-employment and ideas for turning your hobbies and skills into income on your terms.
The ideal single-mom lifestyle would allow moms to provide for their children while being there for them.
Single-mom pep talk.
Call for ideas.
I hope you find this episode useful. Have a wonderful week,
❤ Julia
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After you leave an abusive relationship you have a second chance at life. Here are some things we have to work through to live our best second life ever.
The transition from abusive relationship to healing to normal life.
What you are up against and what will help.
The cycle of abuse, hormones, emotions.
The narcissist is used to playing you and when you heal into zen mode the narcissist will not be able to play you anymore.
Taking your power back through healing.
“In a perfect world people coming out of an abusive relationship would have a year to learn to breathe again with no other responsibilities.”
Fear of change- do survivors face this more than others?
The abuser uses fear to control you.
How to face the fear of change.
Get out of your comfort zone in a way that heals and doesn’t add more stress to your life.
How to reward yourself in a healthy way for all the work you are doing to make progress.
Celebrate yourself for all of the hard work you have done to leave an abusive situation and start your healing journey.
Acknowledging and honoring who you were in the past vs. who you are now.
“We live our life as a celebration because we know the difference between barely surviving and really living.”
Finding balance in life through physical exercise, mental exercise, meditation/prayer, and relaxation.
A pep talk for anyone who has just left an abusive relationship and is surviving and healing.
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Today I am sharing a tool I used to help me stay out of my abusive relationship. It keeps me from being pulled back into a relationship or unnecessary communication with people who have abused me.
How I learned about writing an abuse list as I was coming to terms with my toxic relationship with my mother.
Why you need an abuse list and what to do with it.
The lie you tell yourself about divorce and how it hurts your children more than staying in an abusive relationship.
The abuse list helps you to uncover red flags, excuses for being abusive, and things you need to work on.
Writing an abuse list is therapeutic and can help you move forward from the relationship and into healing.
We need to remember the abuse when we think we should go back or be in contact with the abuser.
About children who have to live part-time with a narcissistic abuser and thoughts on how to help them.
Thoughts on healthy relationships.
The abuse list uncovers ways the abuser breaks you down and pushes your boundaries to gain control over you. This will help you as you begin a new relationship. We need to learn to see unhealthy patterns of behavior in the early stages to protect ourselves.
Sometimes it feels easier to slip back into the abusive relationship instead of doing the difficult work to heal. The abuse list helps you stay strong.
An example of a woman who used the abuse list to help herself stay strong.
I use the abuse list whenever I feel like the abuser is safe enough now to be on friendlier terms. We can't forget that abusers know us well and how to hurt us in the worst ways. They should not be given trust again.
We don't need to help the abuser. It is no longer our responsibility when the relationship is over. It is time to focus on ourselves and our own healing. The abuser is responsible for himself.
How to help our children begin to come out of denial and see the truth of who their other parent is.
Narcissists don't have any standards and will stoop to any level to get what they want from their children. The healthier the child's environment is the sooner they will see the truth.
We can teach our children what a healthy family and relationship look like by using books, movies, and tv shows as examples.
My children seem to be making their own abuse list about their father to help them navigate difficulties with him.
We can guide our children in how to deal with a narcissistic parent by teaching them boundaries, how to stay safe, and how to speak up for themselves safely.
I meant to say no contact, not the silent treatments as the way I kept myself safe from my mother when I was a child.
Do not sacrifice yourself for an abuser!
Here's the book I mentioned at the beginning of the podcast:
Will I Ever Be Good Enough? by Dr. Karyl McBride Ph.D.
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Podcast notes:
I'm on vacation and am making a shoddy sound quality recording of my thoughts on my first time away from home alone.
Why I cried as I drove through a major city I'm visiting for the first time.
My first time in a hotel by myself and going on a vacation alone.
History in the south and how I relate to it as a now free survivor.
The generational curse of mental illness and what it feels like to be free of it.
We have all overcome something in our lives and can relate to the struggle to live free.
The importance of learning from history and teaching it to our children.
How abusers keep you from living a free life.
Why it's important for people to travel and experience things alone. It makes you more interesting to others and can help strengthen your relationship.
When controllers give you permission to do something it doesn't mean they will let you do it without consequences. Mind games, control, crazy-making.
Sometimes we need to do something out of our comfort zone to help us find the answers we are looking for.
We need to assert our independence in a way we can recognize to help us move forward.
"The world is a place that I am allowed to explore freely."
Survivors keep going, keep moving forward to embrace your freedom and show yourself you are free.
As survivors, we need to preach this message of freedom to others so they can step into their freedom. I want others to know what this is like and to live free.
Please share your moments of freedom. Let's celebrate this amazing freedom journey with each other.
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First I must apologize because I used the wrong mic to record this episode. Picture me talking into my official podcast mic while the mic on my webcam was recording the audio. Facepalm. I forgot to change the settings in the recording software before I started. Since my voice was dying I decided to just roll with it.
Topics:
Life is bittersweet for survivors.
Making a bucket list for your time as a single person is fun.
Your bucket list might start out as a list of things the abuser didn’t allow you to do. Your list will change as you heal and get to know yourself again.
Your bucket list helps you remember who you are and what you want in life.
Your bucket list can challenge you and help you be a better parent.
You can write down your list, create a digital list, or keep it in your mind.
The list helps you look forward to your future and learn to dream again.
I share some ideas to get you started.
You set a good example of living well as a single person for your children so they won’t rush into the wrong relationship.
You could also make a single-parent bucket list of things you want to do with your children.
You can find me on:
Medium
Learningtolivefree.meHave a wonderful week!
Julia
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I hope you are having a wonderful week.
This week I talk about something I realized I was struggling with; learning to live in peace.
Topics:
The let down after a long legal battle. Why haven’t I celebrated that it is over?
We try to do better for our children. The narcissist tries to do better for themself.
All about healthy and unhealthy coping skills. How and why you lose healthy skills in an abusive relationship.
How do you begin to live at peace in a healthy environment when you are used to chaos?
Learning to relax is difficult when you are used to being on hyperdrive all the time.
An abusive relationship destroys your self-worth.
You have to put in the work to learn to live in peace.
How to listen and just be with someone who is going through something difficult. What not to say and do.
What is a healthy person anyway? Does such a person exist?
We are all carrying around pain, scars, and trauma so we can all learn how to live better.
Single parent pressure.
Finding balance.
Survivors know how to live in stressful situations and have to learn to live in a normal situations.
Please share what you have learned if you are on the other side of this dilemma.
Learningtolivefree.me
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Hi, and welcome to the show notes.
“You can say, "no more", and you can choose to be whole and healthy and happy.”
How to find freedom even while you are in a controlling/abusive relationship.
The last Independence Day I spent with my ex-husband contained a spiritual awakening.
How I began to have peace in the middle of the storm of my dying marriage.
The worse things become the calmer I grow . Do you do this also?
Growing closer to God during the difficult times and straying when things are easy.
Fourth of July is a stressful day for me because my children have gotten hurt every year at their dad's.
Can you have freedom and independence in a controlling relationship?
You can take back control of your emotions and thoughts to help you detach from emotional abuse.
What is detachment anyway? And what happens when you detach from the chaos of an abuser?
What do you actually have control over?
How I began to choose freedom from the abuser while I was still married to him.
Abusers will undermine you while making it seem as if they are helping you.
Actions vs. words
Choosing freedom means opening your eyes to the truth of your relationship.
Some people stay in an abusive marriage as a way to protect their children.
Abusers have been undermining you as a parent longer than you realize. This is a tactic to keep you from leaving.
Hold onto some piece of freedom or independence so you have hope to keep going.
Boundaries and a warning before you begin setting them with an abusive person.
What I wish I had done before I left.
How to help our children be independent.
“People have lived in very desperate situations but they chose hope anyway and they had joy because of it and we can too.”
Thank you for listening. You can find me on:
Medium
Learningtolivefree.me
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Dreaming of your future tells your mind you have a future.
In this episode I explore dreaming and how we lose our dreams in a narcissistic relationship.
How I lost my dreams.
Daring to dream again.
Do we lose our dreams because of psychological abuse?
Look at your experience as if it belonged to a friend to judge your situation more accurately.
How dreams begin to come back after narc abuse.
Getting to know yourself again so you can dream.
Have fun dreaming.
Our dreams help us learn what we want in life.
Use dreams to escape, reduce stress, and hold onto hope for the future.
Make your dreams more concrete by making a dream board, writing them down, using a Pinterest board, etc.
Watch your dreams unfold.
Please share your dreams with us!
Dream big and make lots of dreams,
❤ Julia
Medium
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This episode was triggered by my ex-husband approaching me at a recent child exchange. Yuck! Here are my thoughts on the situation, how it made me feel, and the realization that I will never truly be free from the abuser.
Topics I touched on include:
The ever-changing Post-separation cycle of abuse. You train the abuser in the cycle and how to use it against you. The less drama and the more boring you are the more likely they are to leave you alone in the future.
The family court system should learn what it is like to be forced to communicate and be around abusers so changes can be made.
The ongoing trauma of having to send children to spend time with an abuser.
Is there a lesson God wants us to learn from this situation?
How to be a loving parent and put the children first while interacting with a narcissist co-parent.
How the abuser sets you up to punish you. How he uses the children to express his anger towards you and destroys your bond with them to hurt you.
The social experiment survivors and their children have been placed in without a chance to escape unless they live in hiding.
Communicating with children who have been turned away from you by a narcissist. They become strangers to you as the emotional abuse and manipulation from a narcissist changes them.
Narcissists try to manipulate the bigger picture so you have to make decisions with more in mind than one situation.
I am not respected by the narcissist as a parent. My time does not matter and he has the right to ask for it. Even worse, if I choose to keep my time with the children he will incite anger against me through them. He chose to give up almost all custody but then throws a fit when I don't give him extra time.
It is important that you don't act or react to what the narcissist does out of anger. You need to do everything with a clear conscience so you don't live with guilt later. You will get enough of a guilt trip from the narc for doing the right thing.
Children are afraid to speak up to their narcissistic parents because they are afraid of upsetting them. They have no voice with the narc parent unless it is what the narc wants to hear. It is actually dangerous for them to speak up for themselves. The narc will lash out at anyone who makes him feel less than perfect.
Our court system in the United States is set up to punish healthy parents. This is why people live in hiding. Even with an order of protection, there is no safety for survivors. A piece of paper doesn't stop people who have anger problems or personality disorders. The only thing that stops them is force.
Survivors live with the threat of violence from the abuse even after they leave. This is part of the reason people don't leave. You are never really free from an abuser and the threat of violence.
Survivors are living life in spite of fear. They are brave and full of courage. You need a safety and security plan in place which looks different for every situation. Some of us have security cameras in our homes and vehicles. We often have gone through scenarios in our minds so we are prepared to defend ourselves. We live in the hope that nothing will happen and if it does we will know what to do and someone will be nearby to help.
Narcs force us to educate ourselves and become better people.
You can find me on:
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Learningtolivefree.me Thanks for listening!
Julia
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Please excuse my hoarse voice, I am recovering from an illness.
Here’s an off-topic question. Do you get depressed and feel worthless when you have been sick for a while? It’s so difficult to slow down and take time to heal instead of carrying on with life as usual.
And now to the topic of the week.
I avoided talking to the narcissist I was married to for three years and he was still able to have me doubt what I knew about myself. He insinuated that I was dishonest and I went into a tailspin. I began to believe I was what he said I was. It took me days to realize what had happened so I could recover and get back on track with my life.
Narcissists project their guilt and shame onto you. Can you trust what they say about you?
The narcissist makes everything fit into their agenda. Even if they do something wrong they have already put the blame for their actions onto someone else. This is the crazy-making of the narcissist. We are used to thinking in an honest manner so we have a hard time realizing where they are coming from.
The narcissist has no right to judge others because he refuses to use self-perception and grow as a person. Tell yourself the truth to help you get his judgment out of your mind.
The process of getting the narc out of your mind involves using self-talk. You have to kick them out of your mind. When you become single and enjoy your life you will begin to live for yourself instead of the narc and break his control over you.
The narcissist feels powerful when he gets you to define yourself by his judgment of you.
You can find me on:
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Thanks for listening,
Julia
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“I am a woman and a warrior…If you think I can’t be both, you’ve been lied to.” ~ Zeyn Joukhadar, The Map of Salt and Stars
In this episode, I cover the difficult topic of marital rape. Many people who have survived narcissistic abuse and domestic violence have experienced this horrible crime.
Statistics and why I’m talking about this topic. We need to do better for our children and educate them on what love is and what it meant to treat someone with love.
What is marital rape?
Manipulation and what it looks like to be manipulated into sex against your wishes.My experience and how I came out of denial.
How a show triggered flashbacks and made me face the need to heal.
Abusers train us to do what they want.
What does love look like in a committed relationship?
Rape is a tool abusers use to control you and destroy you. They feel powerful by destroying others.“
Sexual abuse is an ultimate form of dominance, abuse, and control over someone else. It is about power.”
More stats about rape and the law.
Is there any justice for us? We will carry the scars for the rest of our lives.
Rape is a serious crime with consequences. Would you want the abuser to be held accountable by the law? I am conflicted because he is the father of my children and I worry about what that would do to them.
What do we do with what’s been done to us? We become warriors to help our children and other survivors.
How to heal and continue forward on your healing journey.
Resources:
Rape in Marriage/One Place of the Shoals
Marital Rape is Still Legal
Marital Rape Brochure
What is Marital Rape?
Recovering From Rape and Sexual Trauma
My articles on Medium about this topic:
Marital Rape
Marital Rape in Narcissistic Abuse and Domestic Violence Relationships
Healing From Marital Rape
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Medium.com
learningtolivefree.me
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This week’s episode is all about the narcissist’s new supply and how to survive one of the worst tactics the narcissist uses against you.
Topics discussed in this episode include:
How and why the narcissist uses the new supply to hurt you.
How to work through the pain and emotions brought up by seeing the narcissist with someone new.
Tips and tricks to stay out of the narcissist’s drama.
How to keep a peaceful home for your children even when the narcissist and new supply send messages home with the children.
How to use this situation to become stronger and go further on your healing journey.
Resources:
How to Survive When the Narcissist Punishes You With the New Supply
What to do About the New Supply When You Co-Parent with a Narcissist
You can find me on:
Medium
Learningtolivefree.me
Thank for listening,
Julia
Hello everyone!
Today I talk about why the loneliness following a narcissistic relationship is so much worse than a "normal" break-up and what you can do about it.
I will discuss how a narcissist becomes the center of your universe so that you have lost yourself by the time you leave.
I'll share the tactics the narcissist uses to cut you off from the rest of the world and entrap you.
Isolation, the cycle of abuse, hormones, mind control, and becoming who the narcissist wants us to be all play a part in making it difficult to leave and stay away from a narcissist.
Don't worry I give you a long list of ways you can come out of isolation and break free from the abusive relationship once and for all.
You are never alone! If you are in an emergency situation please call for help. You can also call The National Domestic Violence Hotline to speak with a counselor at any time. 1.800.787.3224 You can also chat with someone on their website or text START to 88788
Resources:
Don't Give Up When the Loneliness After an Abusive Relationship with a Narcissist Hits
Survive and Thrive by Building Community
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Learningtolivefree.me
Thank you for listening and remember you deserve to live in freedom and peace!
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Would you ever consider meeting with your narcissistic ex? Recently, I felt the payoff of meeting with him would be greater than the cost. I have survived to share my experience and what I learned.
I will talk about how the meeting went.
Should you speak to a narc co-parent during child exchanges and events?
Should you play the narc's game to help you get what you and your children need?
Know your boundaries before you meet with the narcissist. Note never meet with someone if you think there is a risk of violence to you or your children. I would also never meet with children present in case something goes wrong and the children become collateral damage.Beware, the narcissist will probably try to throw some blame at you in subtle ways during the meeting. Be prepared not to react to this tactic and to know your own truth.
Be prepared to learn every bad thing that ever happened was your fault.
How I felt after the meeting and what helped me recover from being around my narcissist co-parent
I talk about how difficult it is to recover from mental and emotional abuse compared to a physical injury and how important being no-contact is to healing.
No amount of evidence is enough to get them to admit the truth or change. If they ever do admit to something it will be your fault because you drove them to it.
I explain how their presence controls us and makes us believe in their reality instead of our own.
What can we do to help our children? If we can't be around them for an hour without damage to our mental health how do we expect our children to spend days and weeks with them? We continue to heal and teach them the skills they need to remain healthy in a toxic environment.
Why contact with a narc parent is important for children.
The importance of being part of a tribe of survivors to help you stand strong and thrive.
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Melissa Kalt, MD
I Met With My Narcissist Co-Parent
The article below contains a list of boundaries you can use if you choose to meet with a toxic person. The article also includes a list of things to help you find your balance again after the meeting.
How to Meet Safely With a Narcissist If You Must
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I almost lost my faith in God during my abusive relationship. What caused me to almost turn away from God?
The church's stance on divorce
The teaching to be "submissive"
Trying to love my husband back to normal
The darkness and loss of being in a controlling and abusive relationship
How do we help our children who are still in an relationship with an abusive parent? We can continue to heal and set a good example as we lead our children to a better life.
I share how I recovered my faith and encourage you to hold onto any faith you have as you choose to continue your journey to freedom.
If you would like to join me in this conversation please visit me at:
Medium
Learningtolivefree.me
Remember you deserve to live in freedom and peace.
Julia
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How do you hold onto hope on the hardest days?
Today I'm going to talk about how to keep going even when we're having a tough day. Or how to take a day off to regroup and come back strong.
Sometimes we need to take a day off and just rest.
We also need to know why we keep fighting to continue our healing journey. You need to hold onto that why during the hardest days.
I hope this episode helps you see how far you have come and helps you see your inner strength will help you keep going.
Remember you deserve to live in peace and freedom.
You can find me on:
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Facebook
Learningtolivefree.me
Juliafreemanfree @ gmail.com
Blessings,
Julia
Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!):
https://uppbeat.io/t/hartzmann/voyage
License code: CACLTNI8RX0NIBR2
Living in an abusive and controlling relationship sets the stage for fear to come in and take over. When you live in fear it is easier for someone else to control you. Your life becomes smaller as abuse and control take over. You become afraid to say or do the wrong thing because it may upset your abuser. This causes depression and deeper fear.
Can you begin to face your fears while still in the abusive relationship? Yes!!! I began to face my fears before I left the abuser. The question is did facing my fears enable me to leave? Possibly.
Once I left I began to work through my fears even faster. I went from weekly panic attacks and extreme anxiety to not remembering when I last had a panic attack. I have made so much progress since I left that I feel like a different person.
I pray that if you are struggling with fear that you can begin to move into and overcome the fear. I pray you are blessed with greater peace and freedom!
You can find me at:
Medium
Facebook
Learningtolivefree.me
Have a blessed week,
Julia
Believing someone “had” to abuse you because of who you are or what you did puts all of the responsibility for their actions solidly on your shoulders. This is another control tactic abusers use. Think of the mind control and brainwashing involved in this tactic. You feel guilty for the abuse. You try even harder to be “better” so the abuser will stop hurting you. This is a game you can never win.
In this episode, you will learn why people who leave their abusers have such a difficult time staying out, how to do the mental and emotional work so you can leave once and for all, and what happens to the abuser when you leave.
There are lots of other things I touch on as I discuss this topic. Give it a listen and see what you think.
I would love your comments so I know what I am doing right and what I need to improve.
You can find me on:
Medium
Learningtolivefree.me
If you are learning to live free please keep going. It gets easier over time. If there is anything I can help you with please contact me through my website, a medium comment, or facebook.
Blessings!
Julia
I come to you today with a difficult but necessary topic. You need an emergency escape fund in case worse comes to worst. In this episode, I talk you through mindset issues around this topic and give you some ideas for how to save some cash.
As always be very careful so you don't put yourself in danger. You should have an emergency plan in place for the safety of you and your children.
You can find me at:
Facebook
Medium
Learningtolivefree.me
Remember you deserve to live in peace and freedom.
Love,
Julia
I come to you today as a mother who has the special privilege of mothering trauma survivors. This episode is more about working with younger children but many of the suggestions will also work with older children.
Here's a list of suggestions for helping these special little ones live well:
- Keep your emotions out of their melt-downs.
- Become a calm person so they can absorb your energy.
- Give them access to quiet activities such as crafts, gardening, nature walks, stretching, relaxing music.
- Provide exercise through playgrounds, sports, dancing, active play.
- Be silly with them so they can relate to the child you still have inside. If you've lost that child find him/her with your children.
- Be present with your children. Play games, read aloud, watch a movie or show with them.
- Take them to see a counselor if possible.
- Find a way to help them express their feelings- toys, chart, they can draw how they feel.
- Keep working on yourself.
- Give them something to be responsible for such as a pet(can be a fish or something super easy to care for) or plant or garden space.
After your child has had a melt-down help them reconnect with you and the rest of the family by:
Wait for them to invite you back in. Don't embarrass them when they come back to you. Accept them and show them that you still love them.
Talk about what happened gently when they are open to hearing you. Guide them in how to reestablish relationship with anyone they hurt while they were in meltdown mode.
Find me on:
Medium
Facebook
Learningtolivefree.me
Keep learning to live free!
Julia
The struggle to recover after an abusive relationship is real. Some women struggle to be successful after becoming single mothers. I share some of the insight I have gained after living in a domestic violence shelter and seeing what kept some of my housemates from making a better life for themselves.
Some of the pitfalls we face are getting into a new relationship too soon, going back to an abuser, financial difficulties, ongoing court battles, mothering young children, and low income.
I discuss the importance of embracing the single life after getting out of a difficult relationship. I think it is so important to spend time alone to rebuild our self-worth, learn who you are and what you love, grow in strength, and dream and set goals. It allows for healing and helps you value yourself enough not to accept another toxic relationship.
You can find me at:
Medium
Facebook
Learningtolivefree.me
I hope you continue on in strength to seek freedom and healing.
Love,
Julia
Hi guys!
Today I'm talking about learning to be assertive. I started my journey to healing as a doormat and had to learn to be more assertive. At my first therapy session, my counselor gave me a handout titled, "Ten Things To Do To Be More Assertive". Today, I read that handout to you and talk about each point. It's time to learn to be strong, confident, and an advocate for yourself.
Medium
Facebook
Here's the list of personal rights:
You have the right to ask for what You want.
You have the right to say no to requests or demands you can't meet.
You have the right to express your feelings, positive or negative.
You have the right to change your mind.
You have the right to make mistakes and not have to be perfect.
You have the right to determine your own priorities.
You have the right not to be responsible for others' behavior, actions, feelings, or problems.
You have the right to expect honesty from others.
You have the right to be angry at someone you love.
You have the right to feel scared and say "I'm afraid."
You have the right not to give reasons for your behavior.
You have the right to make decisions based on your feelings.
You have the right to your own needs for personal time.
You have the right to be playful and frivolous.
You have the right to be healthier than those around you.
You have the right to be in a non-abusive environment.
You have the right to make friends and be comfortable around people.
Another tip I forgot to mention in the podcast is to notice assertiveness in the characters you watch on TV shows and movies. You can watch and learn techniques they use, what they say, and how they react to others infringing on their rights. Look for good and bad examples of assertiveness. This is another gentle way to get your mind and emotions comfortable with the thought of being assertive.
You can do this! Rember you have the right to live in freedom and peace. Have a wonderful week learning to live free.
Love,
Julia
In this episode, I give a quick overview of how a narcissist steals our self-worth and then we jump into how to recover your self and start healing.
Why do narcissists want to destroy you?
How do narcissists try to destroy you?
The aftermath of narcissistic abuse.
How to start healing whether you are still in the relationship or not.
You can connect with me on:
Facebook
Medium
If you would like to share your story please leave me a comment or send me a message.
Peace,
Julia
Let's go over parental alienation aka post-separation abuse and domestic violence by proxy on the show today. It is important for anyone with children who is planning to leave an abusive relationship to know the signs of alienation and what to do about it.
Topics:
Symptoms of alienation
My experience
Reaching out to children who reject everything from you
The pain of being separated for parent and child
Why does a narcissist turn his children from the other parent?
How a child is punished for not going along with the narcissistic parent
What you can do
Why I think things are changing in my situation
Keep going strong on your healing journey
Helpful links:
Dr. Childress, you can find his resources for parents and a link to his YouTube channel on his website.
Dorcy Pruter, has free resources that I found helpful to understand and work through the pain of alienation.
Divorce Poison(book)
Find me on:
Medium
Facebook
Thank you for listening!
Julia
Children who live with abusive and/or narcissistic parents are subjected to stress and mental and emotional abuse on a regular basis. I discuss some of the things our children may be facing and how we can help them. I also talk about having your children turned against you by the abuser, the family court system, how abusers use their children and continuing to heal so you can help your children.
Topics:
Narcissism
Domestic Violence
Parental Alienation
Gentle Parenting
Helpful links:
Divorce Poison(book)
Dorcy Pruter
One Mom's Battle
You can find me at:
Facebook
Medium
Thanks for listening,
Julia
I recently realized my children and I were in a toxic situation and took steps to protect our home. I discuss how as survivors we are more likely to accept bad behavior from others and why it's important to continue to work on living free. We can become more courageous and build stronger boundaries while treating others with kindness and respect. I allowed the people who were treating us unfairly to place their responsibility on me which is unfair to all of us. When we set things to rights we treat others with respect and allow them to live their lives with consequences that may help them change and grow.
Our children are watching us navigate life and learn from our example. It's important to think about what we are showing them with our words and actions.
You can find me on:
Medium
Facebook
And here is my website which is still rolling with training wheels:
Learningtolivefree.me
Keep learning and growing,
<3 Julia
Julia Freeman podcasts to help others live free from Narcissistic Abuse and Domestic Violence. She was raised by a narcissist and married another narc for extra credit. After over 20 years of marriage and having many children with her abuser, she ran to freedom. She believes that telling her story and helping others tell theirs brings light to darkness and helps others learn to live free.
I finally conclude the story of escape and move into the freedom of living in my own home in peace. In this episode:
The abuser finds me and almost gets arrested... again.
He gets custody of the children.
He tries to get me to come home.
I share how it feels to go from being with my children 24/7 to only seeing them once a week.
I learn to live without my children.
I go to school and get a job.
Some of my children are turned against me.
I finally move out of the shelter.
You can find me at:
Medium
Facebook
Julia Freeman Reads Podcast
Thank you for listening,
Julia
In part 3 I flee my home and go into hiding. I go up against the abuser in court and learn that you can't cancel your cell phone service if it's in someone else's name.
There need to be more consistent laws and help for those fleeing a controlling and abusive marriage especially if they have children. Cell phone companies need to change their policies to help those running from danger remain safe.
You can find me at:
Medium
Facebook
Keep pursuing freedom and healing!
If you would like to share your story on my podcast please leave me a comment.
Thanks for listening,
<3 Julia
In this episode, I share the events of the last day I lived with the abuser. This is when all hell broke loose and my life has never been the same since.
The look of death
The arrest
Calling the Domestic Violence Hotline
The gun
My Medium Profile
Facebook
If you are in danger or need help please call the Domestic Violence Hotline at
1.800.799.SAFE(7233)
https://www.thehotline.org/
Thank you for listening.
Peace,
Julia
Hi everyone! In this episode, I share my story. You will learn more about how I was raised, a huge red flag I ignored while dating my future husband, and how my marriage died. It is difficult for me to even imagine living the way I used to now that I am almost three years out of it. It seems like a lifetime ago. I talk about how I thought, felt, and was losing myself while my ex-husband became further warped by alcoholism and our lives fell apart.
Next week I'll share my escape story.
You can find me at:
Medium
Facebook
I also have another podcast in which I read some of my Medium articles aloud and offer further commentary:
Julia Freeman Reads
Thank you and I hope you have a blessed week full of peace and joy.
Julia
In this episode I go over the who, what, when, where, why, and how of narcissistic rage. Please keep yourself safe if you are dealing with a narcissist. They are dangerous and unpredictable.
You can read more of my experience with a narcissistic abuser at
https://juliafreemanfree.medium.com/
Thanks for listening. Peace!
In this episode, I will go over the Power and Control Wheel which is a powerful tool that shows how abusers abuse and control their victims.
Power and Control Wheel
A More Detailed P&C Wheel
Healthy Relationship Wheel
You can find me on facebook as Julia Freeman.
You can read my work at Juliafreemanfree.medium.com
Remember you are loved and deserve to live in peace and freedom. Thanks for listening.
In this episode, I share what it is like to communicate with a narcissistic co-parent. I include a list of ways to endure email communications and share what I have learned about staying sane when you are subjected to narc abuse.
You can read more of my work at Medium.
Find me on Facebook.
Thanks for listening!
<3 Julia
Hi! I've finally recorded an intro episode. I'll tell you where I got my name, why I'm podcasting, and what to expect in the future.
https://juliafreemanfree.medium.com/
https://www.facebook.com/julia.freeman.52035772
Thanks for listening!
<3 Julia
In this episode, I share a tale of two Christmases from the two narcissists I have known. We look at my mother's over-the-top "picture perfect" Christmas and my ex-husband's distant style of sharing the holiday with his family.
I hope you have an amazing day full of love, peace, and joy.
You can find my writing at Juliafreemanfree.medium.com
Thanks for listening!
In this podcast, I read my top-earning Medium article which explains how I use the narcissistic cycle of abuse to get what I want from the narcissist. After the reading, I discuss my updated view on what I wrote and how communication with the narcissist works for me.
In this episode I read an article I published on Medium over a year ago and include an update on my family's situation. I also share my thoughts on how to help children who are in this horrible situation. The family court system needs a major overhaul to serve children properly.
In this episode, I read my most recent article about how Narcissists interact with and use their children. Then I share more of my thoughts on the subject including how our family was organized and the contrast between our old life and new life.
You can find more of my work at Juliafreemanfree.medium.com
In this episode, I explain why you need a mantra and how to find one. I also talk about what happens when you begin to seek health and change your life. You are stronger than you think. You deserve to live free.
Read my work at Juliafreemanfree.medium.com
Connect with me on Facebook by searching for Julia Freeman.
Thanks!
In this episode, I talk about getting rid of everything I still have from my old home with the abuser. I share my thoughts on a book I read years ago about PTSD and how traditional cultures have ceremonies to mark natural disasters and tragedies and a low to no incidence of PTSD. Let's find a way to mark major life changes so we won't be stuck in limbo-land.
You can read more of my work at Juliafreemanfree.medium.com
Thanks for listening!