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In this episode of An Evolving Man Podcast, I speak with Nima Rahmany, nervous system and attachment specialist, transformational coach and founder of the Trigger Proof methodology.

Nima works with high-achieving individuals, couples, parents and leaders to understand the deeper patterns behind reactivity, people-pleasing, trauma bonds, emotional shutdown and codependency.

This is a powerful conversation about attachment wounds, nervous system regulation, rupture and repair, elegant boundaries, family dynamics, conscious parenting and what it really means to become “trigger-proof.”

We explore:

• Nima’s journey from chiropractic into trauma, attachment and nervous system work
• Why intelligent, successful people can still become reactive under pressure
• How childhood attachment wounds shape adult relationships
• Why codependency often begins as a search for safety
• The difference between co-regulation and codependency
• How rupture and repair create secure relationships
• Why unresolved resentment creates emotional and physical stress
• The importance of boundaries in family systems
• Protective boundaries and containment boundaries
• What elegant boundaries really mean
• How people-pleasing and self-abandonment keep us stuck
• Why conflict can become a doorway to deeper intimacy
• How to regulate, integrate and then communicate
• Why becoming trigger-proof is a lifelong path, not a quick fix

This conversation is especially relevant for leaders, coaches, parents, partners and anyone who wants to break old cycles and build more secure, honest and compassionate relationships.

Nima’s work:
https://becometriggerproof.com/

Attachment style assessment: https://go.drnima.com/lx67t

Piers Cross:
https://www.piers-cross.com/

Compassionate Leaders Global:
https://compassionateleadersglobal.com/

AnEvolvingManPodcast #NimaRahmany #AttachmentWounds #TraumaBonds #Codependency #NervousSystemRegulation #CompassionateLeadership #EmotionalIntelligence

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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Why do so many successful leaders struggle to switch off?

In this episode of An Evolving Man Podcast, I explore why high-achieving leaders often find it difficult to rest, sleep, stop working, put the phone down or be fully present with family.

This is not simply a time management issue.

For many leaders, the nervous system has learned to stay permanently “on”.

Drawing on Jim Collins, Brad Stulberg, Steve Magness, Cal Newport, Kelly McGonigal, Emma Seppälä, Nick Duffell and Thurstine Bassett, I explore the psychology behind workaholism, burnout, boarding school conditioning and the importance of rest for real growth.

We explore:

• Why successful leaders struggle to switch off
• The difference between hard work and workaholism
• Why boarding school can train the nervous system to stay “always on”
• Nick Duffell and Thurstine Bassett’s idea of “timetabling”
• Why stress without rest leads to burnout
• Why stress plus rest equals growth
• Jim Collins on hard work versus compulsive overwork
• Why scrolling, emails and social media are not real rest
• Cal Newport’s “shutdown complete” practice
• How a twilight hour can improve sleep and recovery
• Why rest is not indulgence, but responsible leadership
• Simple practices to calm the nervous system and switch off

If you are a founder, CEO, executive, coach or high achiever who finds it difficult to stop, this episode is an invitation to reframe rest as part of leadership.

Not weakness.

Not laziness.

But essential.

Piers Cross:
https://www.piers-cross.com/

Compassionate Leaders Global:
https://compassionateleadersglobal.com/

AnEvolvingManPodcast #Leadership #Burnout #EmotionalIntelligence #CompassionateLeadership #HighPerformance #StressRecovery #BoardingSchoolSyndrome

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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In this episode of An Evolving Man Podcast, I speak with Dr. Judith Wright, relationship expert, author and co-founder of the Wright Foundation for the Realization of Human Potential.

Judith has spent more than 40 years helping individuals and couples transform conflict into connection, deepen emotional intelligence and create more meaningful lives.

We explore why conflict is not necessarily a sign that a relationship is failing. Instead, when approached consciously, conflict can become a doorway into truth, intimacy, personal responsibility and deeper love.

We discuss the seven rules of engagement from The Heart of the Fight, including taking responsibility for our own happiness, refusing to give more than 50% of the blame, telling the truth, fighting for rather than against, and assuming goodwill.

We also explore emotional intelligence, dissociation, shadow work, the drama triangle, relationship as a mirror, and how love can help us become more fully ourselves.

Dr. Judith Wright:
https://livewright.com/contact/

Piers Cross:
https://www.piers-cross.com/

Timestamps00:00 Introduction to Dr. Judith Wright
02:00 Judith’s journey into relationship work
05:10 Working with couples across 20 years
08:05 Personal responsibility in relationships
10:15 The drama triangle: victim, persecutor and rescuer
13:20 Changing the field in relationship
16:15 Letting go of control
18:10 The seven rules of engagement
19:00 Accentuate the positive
21:10 Minimise the negative
23:35 No one gets more than 50% of the blame
25:00 100% responsibility for your own happiness
27:15 Truth, trust and no secrets
31:10 Fight for, not against
34:00 Assuming goodwill
38:30 Why conflict is not failure
42:20 How to begin having healthier arguments
45:30 Expressing likes and dislikes
49:00 Receiving love, praise and gifts
52:15 Relationship as a mirror
55:10 The womb and the crucible
57:50 What to do when a relationship reaches an impasse
59:25 Emotional intelligence in relationships
1:00:45 Final reflections and where to find Judith

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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What if you are already a leader, even if you do not have the title?

In this episode of An Evolving Man Podcast, I explore the belief many people hold: “I’m not a leader.”

This often comes up in conversations about the Compassionate Leader Pathway. People say they are not in a senior position, not a CEO, not a manager, or not the kind of person they imagine a leader to be.

But leadership is not only about titles, hierarchy or command and control.

Drawing on Mike Manazir’s work in Learn How to Lead to Win, John C. Maxwell’s The Five Levels of Leadership, Simon Sinek’s Leaders Eat Last, Gareth Southgate’s Lessons in Leadership, and the wider field of emotional intelligence and compassionate leadership, I explore why we are all leaders in some form.

We explore:

• Why many people say, “I’m not a leader”
• Why leadership is not just about titles or status
• The difference between command-and-control leadership and compassionate leadership
• Why parents, grandparents, teachers, coaches, counsellors and colleagues are all leaders
• John Quincy Adams’ definition of leadership
• Mike Manazir’s human-centred approach to leadership
• John Maxwell’s five levels of leadership
• Why relational leadership matters
• Why the future of leadership is emotional intelligence
• Gareth Southgate, psychological safety and leadership
• How servant leadership creates leaders, not followers
• Why Compassionate Leaders Global exists
• The upcoming Compassionate Leader Pathway

Leadership begins with how we lead ourselves.

And from there, how we show up for others.

Find out more about the Compassionate Leader Pathway:
https://compassionateleadersglobal.com/the-compassionate-leader-pathway-course/

Upcoming workshop:
https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/1992503357178?aff=oddtdtcreator

CompassionateLeadership #LeadershipDevelopment #EmotionalIntelligence #ServantLeadership #PsychologicalSafety #LeadershipTraining #AnEvolvingManPodcast

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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What were birthdays like in boarding school?

Were they celebrated or ignored?

Or did you get hazed or bullied on your birthday.

Take care,

Piers

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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Why do the same people keep triggering us?

Why do certain relationships, colleagues, family members or situations seem to provoke the same reaction again and again?

In this episode of An Evolving Man Podcast, I explore emotional triggers from the perspective of leadership, Jungian psychology, boarding school trauma, nervous system regulation and personal sovereignty.

This is an important subject for anyone in leadership, coaching, relationships, parenting or personal development because the people who trigger us often reveal something important about ourselves.

Drawing on Carl Jung’s insight that “when an inner situation is not made conscious, it happens outside as fate,” I explore how projection works, why we give our power away, and how we can begin to bring that energy back into the body.

We explore:

• Why the same people keep triggering us
• Jung, shadow work and projection
• Why triggers are often somatic before they are intellectual
• How boarding school and childhood trauma can create hypervigilance
• The inner critic and outer critic
• Why anger in others may reveal hidden anger in ourselves
• How to reclaim projections and take back your energy
• Why boundaries are essential for emotional maturity
• How to practise saying no without aggression or people-pleasing
• EFT, Havening and body-based regulation tools
• Why triggers are part of leadership development
• How compassionate leadership begins with self-awareness

I also share details of our upcoming free Compassionate Leaders Global workshop:

Why Do the Same People Keep Triggering Me?
30th July, 6:30pm to 7:45pm UK time
Book here:
https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/1992503357178?aff=oddtdtcreator

I also mention the upcoming Compassionate Leader Pathway, a three-month programme beginning in September for people who want to develop a more emotionally intelligent, heart-centred and compassionate way of leading.

Find out more here:
https://compassionateleadersglobal.com/the-compassionate-leader-pathway-course/

CompassionateLeadership #EmotionalIntelligence #LeadershipDevelopment #ShadowWork #JungianPsychology #NervousSystemRegulation #Boundaries #AnEvolvingManPodcast

Timestamps00:00 Introduction: Why do the same people keep triggering me?
00:43 Why this matters in leadership, family and relationships
01:35 We are all leaders in some form
02:20 Carl Jung, projection and unconscious patterns
03:33 What triggers reveal about our shadow
04:40 Anger, the inner critic and self-attack
05:45 Reclaiming projections and taking your power back
06:55 Hypervigilance, the outer critic and childhood survival
08:05 Havening, EFT and calming the nervous system
09:00 Boundaries and why the same people keep crossing them
10:05 Practising yes, no and embodied sovereignty
11:05 Feeling triggers in the body
11:55 Upcoming free workshop on emotional triggers
12:35 The Compassionate Leader Pathway
13:05 Final reflections and invitation to comment

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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In this deeply moving episode of An Evolving Man Podcast, I speak with Masha Castner and David Moss, founders and directors of Kind Waves.

Kind Waves is a UK charity created to help schools build deeper cultures of kindness, emotional safety and positive relationships. The charity was born from the heartbreaking death of Masha and David’s 13-year-old daughter, Helena, known as Heli, who took her own life.

Through their grief, Masha and David have become passionate advocates for changing the emotional culture around children, families, educators and school communities.

In this conversation, we explore how many children suffer silently, why school pressure can become overwhelming, and how kindness is not simply about being nice. It is about creating environments where children and adults feel safe, seen, heard, valued and supported.

We discuss:

• The story behind Kind Waves
• Heli’s life and the heartbreak of losing her
• Why many children suffer silently
• The pressures facing young people in schools
• Why kindness is different from niceness
• The importance of emotional safety in schools
• Why behaviour is often a nervous system response
• How shame and humiliation affect children
• Why teachers need support, not more pressure
• How schools can build cultures of kindness
• The importance of listening to children
• How safe adults can make a life-changing difference
• Social media, perfectionism and the pressure young people face
• Why children need challenge without fear
• How rest, creativity and connection support learning

This is a powerful conversation about grief, education, children’s mental health, school culture and the urgent need to create kinder environments for young people.

Kind Waves:
https://kindwaves.org.uk/

@kindwavesuk

Piers Cross:
https://www.piers-cross.com/

AnEvolvingManPodcast #KindWaves #KindnessInSchools #ChildrensMentalHealth #EmotionalSafety #CompassionateLeadership #SchoolCulture #MentalHealthAwareness

Timestamps00:00 Introduction to Masha Castner, David Moss and Kind Waves
02:05 The story behind Kind Waves
05:20 Heli’s life and what her parents learned through grief
09:10 Children suffering silently
12:45 School pressure and young people’s mental health
16:30 Behaviour as a nervous system response
20:15 Why punishment and shame can harm children
24:40 The importance of emotional safety in schools
29:05 How external voices become internal voices
34:10 Positive challenge rather than pressure
39:00 Social media, perfectionism and young people
44:15 Safe adults, open doors and early support
49:20 Rest, regulation and the school day
53:10 Kindness versus niceness
56:35 The vision for Kind Waves
58:20 Where to find Kind Waves

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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Prince George is set to attend Eton College, continuing a long tradition of future leaders being educated in elite boarding schools.

But is this really the best way to prepare someone for leadership in the 21st century?

In this episode of An Evolving Man Podcast, I explore five reasons why we need to stop sending our future leaders to boarding school.

Drawing on modern leadership literature, boarding school syndrome research, attachment theory and the work of writers such as Nick Duffell, Joy Schaverien, Sue Gerhardt, Richard Beard, Louise Champion, Daniel Goleman, Antonio Damasio, Kouzes and Posner, I ask whether boarding school really creates the qualities we need in leaders today.

We explore:

• Why great leadership needs love
• Why boarding school often teaches children to live without love
• How emotional repression affects decision-making
• Why emotional intelligence matters more than ever in leadership
• How boarding school separates future leaders from the people they will one day lead
• Why secure attachment supports a flexible brain
• Why resilience is not the same as dissociation
• The difference between confidence and a survival mask
• Why command-and-control leadership is no longer enough
• Why future leaders need compassion, connection and emotional maturity

This is not simply about Prince George.

It is about what kind of leaders we want to create.

If we continue sending future leaders into environments where love, vulnerability, emotional expression and ordinary human connection are removed, should we be surprised when those leaders later struggle with empathy, intimacy, transparency and care?

The future needs emotionally intelligent leaders.

Leaders who can listen.

Leaders who can feel.

Leaders who can connect.

Leaders who understand the people they are here to serve.

BoardingSchoolSyndrome #Leadership #EmotionalIntelligence #Eton #PrinceGeorge #BoardingSchoolTrauma #CompassionateLeadership #FutureLeaders

Timestamps00:00 Introduction

00:35 Prince George, Eton and future leadership

01:10 Why this conversation matters

01:55 The five reasons we need to rethink boarding school

02:45 Reason 1: Great leadership needs love

04:20 Boarding school and the absence of love

05:25 Reason 2: Emotional repression

06:30 Why leaders need emotional information

07:15 Reason 3: Separation from those they will lead

08:05 Reason 4: Secure attachment and the flexible brain

09:15 Reason 5: Confidence, resilience and dissociation

10:35 Why command-and-control leadership is no longer enough

11:10 Final reflections and invitation to comment

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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In this episode of An Evolving Man Podcast, I speak with Jeremy Lipkowitz, executive coach, meditation teacher, leadership facilitator and founder of Unhooked Academy.

Jeremy works with high-achieving men who want to break free from destructive habits, porn addiction, compulsive sexual behaviour, shame and emotional avoidance. After overcoming addiction and depression in his early twenties through meditation, Jeremy left a doctoral programme at Duke University and spent time as a Buddhist monk in Asia.

In this conversation, we explore why porn addiction is so powerful, why shame keeps so many men stuck, and how mindfulness, Buddhist psychology, community and emotional intelligence can help us break free from compulsive patterns.

We discuss:

• Jeremy’s personal journey with porn addiction and depression
• How Buddhism and meditation changed his life
• Why craving is at the heart of addiction
• The three A’s of porn addiction: affordability, accessibility and anonymity
• Why porn is so difficult to stop when it is available on every phone
• How shame creates a cycle of secrecy and acting out
• The importance of men’s groups and safe community
• Healthy shame, moral dread and Buddhist ethics
• The attention economy and why our minds are being trained into distraction
• How mindfulness helps us reclaim the space between stimulus and response
• Practical ways to begin working with urges, emotions and addictive patterns

This is a powerful and honest conversation about one of the subjects many men struggle with but rarely talk about.

Jeremy’s work:
Unhooked Academy
unhookedacademy.com

Jeremy’s podcast:
https://unhooked.buzzsprout.com/

Piers Cross:
https://www.piers-cross.com/

AnEvolvingManPodcast #PornAddiction #Mindfulness #MensWork #Buddhism #AddictionRecovery #EmotionalIntelligence #JeremyLipkowitz

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

View Details

For Thursday's leadership workshop: https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/1991361811785?aff=oddtdtcreator

Keir Starmer’s resignation marks another major moment in British political leadership.

If the UK is now heading towards its seventh Prime Minister in just over a decade, the deeper question is not simply who comes next.

The deeper question is:

What kind of leadership culture are we creating?

In this episode of An Evolving Man Podcast, I reflect on leadership in the UK, the limits of command-and-control leadership, and why emotional intelligence, honesty, compassion and self-awareness are now essential qualities for leaders in politics, business and wider society.

Drawing on leadership thinkers such as John Maxwell, Kouzes and Posner, and research from the Chartered Management Institute, I explore why so many managers and leaders in the UK are still promoted without proper leadership training, and how this creates what the CMI calls “accidental managers.”

We explore:

• Keir Starmer’s resignation and the wider UK leadership crisis
• Why Britain may not just need a new leader, but a new leadership culture
• The problem with command-and-control leadership
• John Maxwell’s five levels of leadership
• Why positional leadership is the lowest level of leadership
• The importance of honesty, competence, inspiration and forward-thinking
• Why emotional intelligence is no longer optional for leaders
• How public school, grammar school and institutional cultures shape leadership
• Why leaders need to understand ordinary people’s lived experience
• Compassionate leadership as a new model for politics, business and society
• Why the conversations we are not having may be the most important ones

This is not a party-political episode.

It is a reflection on leadership, emotional intelligence, culture and the future of how we lead.

If we want a different kind of leadership in Britain, it begins with the leadership we practise in ourselves, our families, our organisations and our communities.

Website:
https://www.piers-cross.com/

Compassionate Leaders Global:
https://www.compassionateleadersglobal.com/

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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Why do so many politicians, business leaders and influential public figures come from boarding schools?

In this fascinating conversation, I sit down with researcher, author and podcaster Dominic Waterson to explore the hidden influence of childhood experiences, elite education and institutional culture on leadership and power.

Drawing on years of research for his book Traitors: The Pandemic Politicians, Dominic examines the backgrounds of figures including Boris Johnson, Tony Blair, David Cameron, Justin Welby and many others.

Together we explore:

• Why boarding schools appear repeatedly in the backgrounds of political leaders

• The relationship between childhood trauma and leadership

• How institutional cultures shape beliefs, behaviours and decision-making

• Boris Johnson's early years and boarding school experience

• Tony Blair, Fettes College and the influence of elite education

• Why some leaders struggle with authenticity and emotional intelligence

• The impact of power, privilege and social conditioning

• How childhood experiences continue to influence leadership in adulthood

This conversation is not about political parties.

It is about understanding how childhood experiences, education and institutional culture can shape the people who ultimately lead nations, organisations and communities.

Whether you are interested in leadership, psychology, emotional intelligence, trauma, boarding school syndrome or the structures of power, this episode offers a thought-provoking perspective on how leaders are formed.

If you enjoy the conversation, please subscribe, leave a review and share it with someone who may find it valuable.

Website:
www.piers-cross.com

BoardingSchoolSyndrome #Leadership #EmotionalIntelligence #PoliticalLeadership #Trauma #ChildhoodTrauma #DominicWaterson #AnEvolvingManPodcast

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

View Details

For the workshop: https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/the-conversations-youre-not-having-tickets-1991361811785?aff=oddtdtcreator&keep_tld=true

Many leaders, entrepreneurs and former boarders avoid the conversations that matter most.

Not because they don't know what needs to be said.

But because somewhere deep in the nervous system, speaking up still feels dangerous.

In this episode of An Evolving Man Podcast, I explore why so many of us avoid difficult conversations, where this pattern originates, and how early experiences such as boarding school, emotional neglect, bullying, criticism or trauma can shape our ability to communicate honestly and set healthy boundaries.

We explore:

• Why difficult conversations can feel frightening
• How boarding school conditioning teaches silence and compliance
• The link between trauma, people-pleasing and conflict avoidance
• Why resentment builds when we don't speak up
• The role of emotional intelligence in courageous leadership
• How to have difficult conversations without aggression or blame
• The importance of nervous system regulation before speaking
• Using "I statements" instead of projection
• Why boundaries and conversations are deeply connected
• Practical steps to start speaking more truthfully

Whether you're a leader, entrepreneur, former boarder, coach, parent or someone who struggles to speak up, this episode offers practical insights to help you communicate with greater confidence, authenticity and compassion.

If this episode resonates, please like, subscribe and share.

To learn more about Compassionate Leaders Global:

https://www.compassionateleadersglobal.com

To learn more about my work:

https://www.piers-cross.com

Leadership #EmotionalIntelligence #BoardingSchoolSyndrome #TraumaHealing #DifficultConversations #CompassionateLeadership #Relationships #PersonalDevelopment

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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What if the thing holding you back isn't your circumstances, your team, your strategy, or even your mindset?

What if it's the story you've been unconsciously living for decades?

In this powerful conversation, leadership coach and author Will Steel shares his journey from Royal Air Force pilot to transformational coach and leadership expert.

Together we explore authenticity, emotional intelligence, presence, childhood conditioning, pressure, leadership, identity and the pursuit of fulfilment.

Will explains why many high achievers spend their lives chasing success while never addressing the deeper beliefs driving them. We discuss self-awareness, dissociation, authenticity, transformational leadership and the powerful concept of Fitra — returning to your true nature.

A thought-provoking conversation for leaders, founders, coaches and anyone seeking greater freedom, purpose and authenticity.

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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When my wife Michelle died in 2025, I expected grief.

What I did not expect was that her death would reconnect me with another loss that had remained hidden for decades.

The loss of my mother.

The loss of my family.

The loss of home.

The loss of safety.

The loss that began when I was sent away to boarding school.

In this deeply personal episode of An Evolving Man Podcast, I explore the striking similarities between bereavement and the boarding school experience. Drawing on the work of Joy Schaverien, Nick Duffell, Peter Sykes and Paul Sunderland, I reflect on why so many ex-boarders struggle with addiction, emotional disconnection, relationship difficulties and unresolved grief.

For many children, boarding school was not simply separation.

It was bereavement.

The difference is that society recognises one form of grief while often denying the other.

In this episode we explore:

• Why boarding school can be experienced as a profound bereavement

• The connection between grief, addiction and emotional suppression

• Why ex-boarders often struggle to access their feelings

• The impact of losing parents, home and attachment figures at an early age

• Joy Schaverien's work on Boarding School Syndrome

• Nick Duffell's reflections on British culture and emotional disconnection

• Practical ways to process grief safely

• How emotional healing supports leadership, relationships and wellbeing

If this conversation resonates, please consider liking, subscribing and sharing with someone who may benefit.

Website:
https://www.piers-cross.com/

BoardingSchoolSyndrome #Grief #TraumaHealing #Leadership #EmotionalIntelligence #AttachmentTrauma #HealingChildhoodTrauma #AnEvolvingManPodcast

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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What happens when a leader confronts their own trauma?

In this fascinating conversation, Piers Cross sits down with Dr. Ron Kamacho, police chief, leadership consultant and author, to explore how emotional intelligence transformed his life and leadership.

Ron shares his journey from highly driven, ego-based leadership to a more compassionate, accountable and emotionally intelligent approach.

Together they discuss:

• Childhood trauma and leadership
• The father wound and identity
• Emotional intelligence in policing
• Leadership under pressure
• Building healthy organisational culture
• Why ego destroys careers
• Self-awareness and introspection
• Compassion and accountability
• Mental health in law enforcement
• The future of leadership

A deeply honest conversation about what it truly means to lead yourself before leading others.

Timestamps (1:03:25)00:00 Introduction to Dr. Ron Kamacho
02:05 Childhood trauma, policing and proving himself
07:30 Therapy, emotional intelligence and transformation
12:15 Leadership lessons from Afghanistan and Mexico
18:00 Humility, ego and personal growth
22:15 Leadership under pressure and SWAT experiences
28:10 Emotional regulation and self-awareness
33:20 Why leaders struggle with self-awareness
39:10 Growth mindset versus fixed mindset
43:45 Building culture through leadership
49:00 Ego kills careers
53:15 Accountability, compassion and leadership
57:30 Trauma, policing and mental health
01:01:00 Ron's book: Bringing Ego to the Forefront
01:03:25 Closing reflections

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

View Details

One of the questions I hear most often from former boarders is:

"Why did I hate prep school but love public school?"

Or sometimes:

"Why was public school much harder than prep school?"

In this solo episode, I explore the different experiences people report and why those differences may exist.

Drawing on stories from Roald Dahl, David Cameron, Ranulph Fiennes, Bear Grylls and John Peel, I examine how children adapt to boarding school environments and why the first boarding experience often has such a profound impact.

We discuss homesickness, bullying, adaptation, dissociation, betrayal trauma and the long-term effects of boarding school on identity, relationships and leadership.

Whether you attended boarding school yourself or work with those who did, this episode offers important reflections on how early experiences shape adult life.

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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Why do so many boarding school survivors struggle with boundaries?

In this episode, Piers Cross explores how boarding school conditioning can shape people pleasing, emotional suppression and difficulty saying no later in life.

Drawing on trauma theory, attachment work and years of coaching leaders and ex-boarders, Piers explores why boundaries can feel dangerous for many trauma survivors — and why nervous system regulation is essential when learning to hold healthy boundaries.

Topics include:

• Boarding school and the “complier” survival strategy
• Fight, flight, freeze and appease
• Why boundaries feel unsafe
• Shame, fear and conflict avoidance
• Avoidant attachment and trauma
• Boundary repair practices
• EFT tapping and Havening
• Leadership and emotional intelligence
• Nervous system regulation and safety

Piers also shares practical boundary exercises inspired by Diane Poole Heller’s work on attachment and trauma healing.

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

View Details

To register for the webinar: https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/why-smart-leaders-still-self-sabotage-identify-and-break-hidden-patterns-tickets-1988408152310

Why do we sabotage the very things we say we want?

In this episode, Piers Cross explores self-sabotage through the lens of boarding school survival patterns, trauma, leadership and nervous system regulation.

Drawing on Gay Hendricks’ concept of the “Upper Limit Problem,” Piers explains how many ex-boarders unconsciously return themselves to familiar emotional states whenever success, intimacy, joy or uncertainty begin to increase.

Topics include:

• Boarding school conditioning and emotional suppression
• Fight, flight, freeze and dissociation
• Why success can feel unsafe
• Relationship sabotage
• Leadership and emotional regulation
• The nervous system and uncertainty
• EFT, Havening and mindfulness
• Expanding the window of tolerance
• Compassionate leadership and healing trauma

Piers also shares details about the upcoming free workshop:
Why Smart Leaders Still Self-Sabotage

A reflective and experiential leadership workshop exploring unconscious patterns shaping relationships, work and performance.

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

View Details

Here is the link to this Friday's podcast with Sara Warner about the vagus nerve and wearables: https://youtu.be/HpxcTW0oKI8

In this episode, I explore polyvagal theory, the vagus nerve, childhood trauma and boarding school syndrome.

Following my recent conversation with Sarah Warner about vagus nerve stimulation, wearables and nervous system regulation, I wanted to look more closely at what polyvagal theory actually means and why it is so relevant for ex-boarders and trauma survivors.

The vagus nerve is one of the main communication pathways between the body and the brain. Much of this communication travels from the body up to the brain, which helps explain why we cannot always think or talk our way out of stress.

I explore bottom-up regulation, top-down regulation and co-regulation, including breathwork, movement, humming, posture, touch, orienting practices and safe connection.

I also reflect on Nick Duffell’s work and how boarding school trauma can affect emotional regulation, attachment, facial reading, intimacy, leadership and our ability to feel safe with others.

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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In this episode, I explore why criticism can feel so painful for those of us who went to boarding school.

For many ex-boarders, criticism does not simply feel like feedback. It can feel like danger. It can activate old patterns of shame, fear, compliance, dissociation or defensiveness.

I reflect on boarding school conditioning, the fear of getting things wrong, Nick Duffell’s work on wounded leaders, David Cameron’s response to criticism, Rick Hanson’s “Velcro for negativity and Teflon for positivity,” and Martin Seligman’s three Ps: personal, permanent and pervasive.

I also share practical ways to regulate the nervous system before responding, and why learning to receive feedback is essential for leadership, intimacy and growth.

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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In Episode 159 of An Evolving Man Podcast, I’m joined by Professor Helen Odell-Miller OBE, one of the UK’s leading pioneers in music therapy.

Helen has spent decades working with trauma, attachment, mental health and emotional healing through music. She also worked closely with the late Joy Schaverien, whose work on boarding school syndrome transformed the conversation around early separation and institutional trauma.

In this episode we explore:

• What music therapy is and how it works
• Why music can help where words cannot
• Helen’s own boarding school experience
• Joy Schaverien’s ABCD model
• Hidden abandonment and dissociation
• Why resilience is often misunderstood
• How music can support connection, regulation and healing

A thoughtful and powerful conversation.

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

View Details

Many boarding schools claim they build resilience.

But what if what they often create is something else entirely?

In this episode, I explore the difference between true resilience and dissociation, and why so many ex-boarders struggle with relationships, emotional regulation, connection and rest later in life.

Drawing on the work of Barbara Fredrickson, Emma Seppälä, Joy Schaverien, Nick Duffell and others, I share:

• Why becoming “bulletproof” is not resilience
• How trauma narrows the window of tolerance
• Why emotional agility matters
• Three practical ways to build real resilience
• Why healing often happens in connection

If you went to boarding school or work with high performers, this conversation may offer a new lens.

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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In this episode, I explore the powerful influence of crowds and group behaviour, particularly within boarding school environments.

Why do people join in when someone is being shamed or targeted?
Why does it happen so quickly — and often without conscious thought?

Drawing on Elias Canetti’s Crowds and Power and modern neuroscience around mirror neurons, this episode looks at how emotional contagion shapes behaviour — and why many of us still carry guilt or shame about those moments.

This is also an episode about self-forgiveness.

Understanding that what happened was often about survival — and how we begin to take responsibility without self-judgement.

In This Episode:

• Crowd psychology and emotional contagion
• Boarding school group dynamics
• Mirror neurons and unconscious behaviour
• Shame and the inner critic
• Self-forgiveness and healing

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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In Episode 158 of An Evolving Man Podcast, I’m joined by Peter Sykes — humanitarian, strategist, writer and author of Somewhere Never Home.

Peter has led major humanitarian responses across the world, but in this conversation we explore the deeply personal side of his story.

We talk about growing up as a third culture kid, being sent to boarding school at age 10, identity loss, addiction, achievement, emotional suppression, and the long path of healing.

This is an honest, moving and hopeful conversation for anyone interested in childhood trauma, boarding school syndrome, recovery, leadership and emotional wellbeing.

We Explore:

• Boarding school and abandonment
• Addiction as a response to pain
• Achievement and perfectionism
• Emotional suppression and intimacy
• Third culture kids and belonging
• Recovery, therapy and mindfulness
• Why it’s never too late to heal

A powerful episode with depth, wisdom and humanity.

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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In this short solo episode, I reflect on one of the deepest impacts of boarding school:

The loss of identity.

What happens when children learn that their name, hobbies, feelings and individuality are not safe?

Drawing on my recent conversation with Peter Sykes, I explore how institutional environments shape children into survival personalities — the complier, the rebel or the crushed child.

We also look at why many adults later struggle to know what they truly want, and how we can begin reconnecting with our authentic selves.

In This Episode:

• Identity loss at boarding school
• Names, shame and conformity
• Strategic survival personalities
• Why authenticity gets buried
• How to reconnect with who you really are
• Journaling and healing practices

A thoughtful and practical episode for anyone exploring boarding school trauma, identity and recovery.

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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In episode 157 of An Evolving Man, I speak with Kimberly Isherwood and Joan Ginsberg from Public Child Protection Wales.

Together we explore one of the most urgent and difficult issues in modern society: how we genuinely protect children from harm.

Kimberly and Joan share why Public Child Protection Wales was founded, what they see happening on the ground in education and safeguarding, and why they believe many current systems are not adequately protecting children.

We discuss grooming, institutional abuse, safeguarding blind spots, disclosure, adult responsibility, and the cultural reluctance to speak honestly about the realities children can face.

We also touch on boarding schools, neglect, attachment, and why child protection must begin with better informed adults, not simply new policies on paper.

This is a sobering but deeply important conversation for parents, teachers, safeguarding professionals, and anyone who cares about children’s wellbeing.

This episode reflects the views and concerns of the guests based on their research, experience and campaigning work.

Timestamps

00:00 Introduction
01:18 Why Public Child Protection Wales was founded
06:14 Joan Ginsburg’s background in education
10:12 Concerns about current practice in schools
16:42 Why certain lesson content is being challenged
22:05 Grooming and how it works
27:18 Systems, institutions and blind spots
31:25 What safeguarding should look like
37:44 Why current training often falls short
44:12 Boarding schools and social services
50:08 Neglect, trauma and attachment
54:45 Why people hesitate to speak up
59:28 The need to normalise hard conversations
01:04:10 What must change
01:08:17 Where to support Public Child Protection Wales

Find out more

Public Child Protection Wales
publicchildprotectionwales.org

Piers Cross
piers-cross.com

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

View Details

To buy tickets for the Glastonbury screening on 18th April 6.30-9pm or to share it: https://www.tickettailor.com/events/goodwillinactiontopreventsuicidecio/2140155

In this short video, I’m sharing some reflections and inviting you to a special screening of our documentary Boarding on Insanity on April 18th in Glastonbury.

This feels like a full-circle moment, as we return to the very retreat centre where part of the documentary was filmed.

This will be more than just a screening — it’s an opportunity to come together, reflect, and have an open conversation about boarding school, trauma, leadership, and the wider impact these experiences may have on society.

We’ll also explore questions such as:

• How does childhood trauma shape leadership?
• What is the true impact of boarding school on emotional development?
• Why is neglect often overlooked, despite its profound effects?
• Can healing happen more effectively in groups?

If you’re nearby or feel called to this conversation, I would love to see you there.

📍 Event Details

Date: April 18th
Location: Glastonbury
Doors open: 6:30pm
Screening starts: 7:00pm
Followed by: Group discussion and connection

Ticket link in description.

⏱️ Timestamps (6:40 total)

00:00 Introduction
00:35 Documentary screening announcement (April 18th, Glastonbury)
01:20 Returning to the retreat centre – full circle moment
02:10 What the evening will include (screening + discussion)
03:00 Boarding school, trauma and leadership reflections
04:10 Neglect and its impact on child development
05:10 The importance of group healing and connection
06:00 Upcoming podcast conversations and closing invitation

🔍 In this video, I explore:

• Boarding school trauma and its long-term impact
• The role of neglect in childhood development
• Leadership and unresolved trauma
• Why healing often happens in groups
• Creating spaces for open, honest conversation

🎧 Also coming up on the podcast

• Public Child Protection Wales
• Peter Sykes
• Helen Odell-Miller

🔗 Connect with me

Piers Cross
Founder, Compassionate Leaders Global
Leadership Coach | Speaker | Podcast Host

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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In Episode 156 of An Evolving Man, I speak with Christopher J. Wesley — artist, speaker, and emotional leadership thinker — about trauma, identity, and emotional truth in a world shaped by pressure, performance, and algorithms.

Christopher shares his powerful journey from early childhood abuse to rebuilding his identity through grief, creativity, and self-awareness.

We explore how trauma shapes the way we see ourselves, why many leaders are disconnected from their emotional world, and how reconnecting with feeling can transform both life and leadership.

This episode also introduces Christopher’s FRAME Method — a practical approach to integrating emotion and logic in decision-making.

A deeply human conversation about healing, resilience, and what it means to live with authenticity.

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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In this episode of An Evolving Man, I explore the concept of the outer critic — a key pattern in trauma, CPTSD, and boarding school syndrome.

Drawing on the work of Pete Walker, we look at how unresolved emotional pain can turn outward, shaping how we judge, mistrust, and distance ourselves from others.

While the inner critic attacks the self, the outer critic targets others — often silently and unconsciously.

This episode explores how this pattern develops, how it shows up in relationships and everyday life, and most importantly, how we begin to work with it.

We also explore practical tools including mindfulness, somatic awareness, grieving, and vision-based practices to help regulate the nervous system and reduce the intensity of these patterns.

A grounded and honest reflection for anyone navigating trauma, leadership, or emotional healing.

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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In this episode of An Evolving Man, I’m joined by Deri Llewellyn-Davies — boardroom strategist, creator of the Ultra States framework, and someone deeply immersed in the worlds of performance, pressure, recovery, and leadership.

Deri has worked with hundreds of boards and has also pushed himself through extreme endurance events, giving him a rare perspective on what prolonged pressure does to the human system — not only at work, but in relationships, family life, and identity.

Together we explore the physiology of stress, the science of flow state, why so many leaders become trapped in chronic control, and what it really takes to recover well.

We also look at purpose, regret, emotional intelligence, and why connection may be one of the most overlooked ingredients in sustainable leadership.

We discuss:

• The cost of sustained pressure on body, mind, and relationships
• Why many leaders live in chronic stress states
• The science and experience of flow state
• Recovery, dopamine, burnout, and rebooting the nervous system
• Deri’s reflections on his father’s regret and how that shaped his life
• The importance of purpose in work and life
• Emotional intelligence and the future of leadership in an AI age
• Why connection may be one of the most important human states

This is a powerful conversation for leaders, founders, coaches, and anyone wanting to perform well without losing themselves in the process.

Suggested timestamps

00:00 Introduction
01:10 Deri’s path into strategy and performance
04:10 Strategy, instinct, and synchronicity
07:10 Control, masculinity, and pressure
11:10 Why command-and-control leadership is breaking down
18:35 What flow state really is
24:25 Stress, neurochemistry, and being hijacked
29:00 Burnout, recovery, and the need to stop
34:00 Resetting: nature, fasting, and deep recovery
39:10 Regret, fatherhood, and purpose
44:00 Finding your purpose
49:00 Emotional intelligence and AI
54:15 The future of leadership
57:10 Ultra Connect and human connection
59:35 Closing thoughts

For more info: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thestrategyman/

Or: https://ultra-states.com

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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Over the years I have noticed a common ailment among ex-boarders.

And that is stomach issues.

Why is that?

And what can we do now?

digestion #trauma #boardingschoolsyndrome

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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Prince Andrew, Epstein, and boarding school trauma — exploring the psychology behind early experiences and adult behaviour.

In this episode, I explore the psychological patterns that may sit beneath well-known public narratives.

Looking at Prince Andrew, Sarah Ferguson, and Ghislaine Maxwell, I reflect on their early childhood experiences — including boarding school and family dynamics — and how these environments may shape emotional development, behaviour, and relationships later in life.

Drawing on trauma research, attachment theory, and Polyvagal Theory, this episode explores:

• The long-term impact of boarding school and early separation
• Emotional suppression as a survival strategy
• The link between childhood trauma and adult behaviour
• How the nervous system influences trust and perception
• The concept of “wounded leadership”

This is not about judgement.

It is about understanding how early experiences can shape the way people relate to themselves, others, and the world.

At a broader level, this conversation raises important questions about leadership, emotional intelligence, and the environments we create for children.

If this episode resonates, feel free to share your reflections or pass it on to someone who may find it meaningful.

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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In this episode of An Evolving Man, I speak with Dawn Stallwood — corporate and commercial lawyer turned leadership counsel, chief integrity officer, entrepreneur, and author of Beautiful Leadership.

Dawn brings nearly three decades of experience advising boards, founders and senior leaders, and in this conversation we explore what it really means to lead with integrity, empathy, humility and courage in times of pressure, uncertainty and change.

We speak about:

• the difference between command-and-control leadership and human-centred leadership
• why so many leaders have never been properly trained
• the importance of self-awareness, transparency and emotional intelligence
• how to build capacity rather than simply drive harder
• what pressure reveals in leaders
• why AI will make human leadership skills even more important
• how leaders can create cultures people genuinely want to be part of

Dawn also shares the framework behind her book Beautiful Leadership, including the inner qualities and outer practices that help leaders become more transformative, trustworthy and effective.

This is a thoughtful and practical conversation for anyone interested in leadership, culture, ethics, governance, emotional intelligence, and the future of work.

Find out more about Dawn and her book at https://thebeautifulleader.com/

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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For the leaders' workshop about dealing with pressure: https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/leadership-under-pressure-how-you-can-manage-pressure-better-tickets-1982772564114?utm-campaign=social&utm-content=attendeeshare&utm-medium=discovery&utm-term=listing&utm-source=cp&aff=ebdsshcopyurl

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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How do leaders behave when pressure rises?

In this episode, Piers Cross explores how stress reveals the underlying conditioning that shapes leadership behaviour.

Drawing on leadership research and psychology, the conversation looks at how many leaders unconsciously revert to learned survival strategies under pressure — particularly those who grew up in highly structured or emotionally restrictive environments.

When stress rises, leaders may shift into command-and-control behaviour, emotional suppression, or over-dominant communication. But research shows that emotional states are contagious. Anxiety, fear, and tension can spread through teams via subtle physiological signals.

This episode explores:

• how pressure reveals unconscious leadership patterns
• the impact of childhood conditioning on leadership behaviour
• why emotional suppression spreads stress through organisations
• how emotional intelligence helps regulate pressure
• practical strategies for developing calmer leadership

Drawing on insights from Daniel Goleman, Emma Seppälä, Nick Duffell, and Michael Bungay Stanier, this conversation explores how leaders can shift from reactive stress responses to emotionally intelligent leadership.

Website:
https://compassionateleadersglobal.com

Podcast:
An Evolving Man

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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Piers Cross speaks with leadership coach and former professional footballer Matt Young about identity, emotional intelligence, and sustainable performance.

After eight years in elite sport, Matt’s career ended abruptly. Without football, he was forced to confront anxiety, self-doubt, and a deeper fear many high achievers recognise — not being good enough beneath the role. That painful period led him into the work he now does with executives, business owners, and performers.

Together, Piers and Matt explore why high performers often rely on pressure and identity to cope, how the inner critic drives overachievement, and why lasting leadership starts with internal awareness rather than external control.

The conversation also covers the drama triangle, emotional ownership, and the difference between mental toughness and emotional intelligence.

This episode is particularly relevant for leaders who appear strong outwardly but feel unsettled inwardly — and want a healthier way to lead.

Guest: Matt Young
https://www.mattyounglc.com/

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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In this episode, Piers Cross explores the psychological impact of a child’s first night at boarding school and why it often becomes a lifelong emotional imprint.

Drawing on accounts from Richard Branson, Sebastian Faulks, and Peter Sykes, we examine what happens when children are separated from their families at a young age. Many remember intense fear, others remember nothing at all — a sign of dissociation.

Psychotherapist Joy Schaverien describes this moment as a “threshold experience.” It is not simple homesickness. It is a sudden loss of attachment figures, familiarity, identity, and safety.

This episode discusses:
• separation and attachment
• dissociation in childhood
• why some memories are vivid and others blank
• adult relationship difficulties
• emotional disconnection in high achievers

Many adults who attended boarding school later become capable, resilient, and successful — yet struggle with intimacy, vulnerability, and feeling truly at home.

Understanding the beginning helps explain the adult patterns.

Website: https://compassionateleadersglobal.com

Podcast: An Evolving Man

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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In this episode, Piers Cross is joined by Jane Barclay, a humanistic psychology practitioner, UKCP-accredited, and a member of the BACP.

Jane shares her journey into counselling and trauma work — beginning with a major life move, a profound sense of disorientation, and what she later recognised as a traumatic reaction to separation. Her story moves into the heart of boarding school experience: early attachment rupture, lack of privacy, “settling in” as dissociation, and the survival strategies that can last for decades.

Together, Piers and Jane explore how trauma can speak through the body, why “it could have been worse” is such a seductive defence, and why healing often requires both trustworthy relationship and the repair of community. Jane also shares her late-blooming creativity — writing songs, developing a children’s musical, and using rhythm and story to support safeguarding, truth-telling, and the restoration of the heart.

Guest: Jane Barclay
Website: http://jbcounselling.co.uk/

Key themes:
Attachment and early separation • Boarding school trauma • Somatic trauma • Dissociation and the “carapace” • Trust and relational repair • Community as healing • Eldership • Creativity and rhythm as medicine

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

View Details

Many leaders and high performers live as if they are unable to stop.

In this episode, Piers Cross explores the long-term psychological effects of boarding school timetabling and how it conditions the nervous system to equate busyness with safety.

Children raised in highly structured environments learn to stay constantly active. Stillness becomes uncomfortable — even threatening. As adults this often becomes overwork, productivity addiction, relationship difficulty, and eventually burnout.

Drawing on the work of psychotherapist Nick Duffell, performance science, and emotional intelligence leadership, Piers explains why former boarders — and many driven professionals — feel trapped in a cycle of constant doing.

This episode covers:
• timetabling and psychological conditioning
• why rest triggers anxiety
• burnout in leaders and executives
• the nervous system and safety
• a simple visualisation exercise to retrain the body

The goal isn’t to stop achieving.

It’s to learn when to step off the train.

Website: https://compassionateleadersglobal.com

Podcast: An Evolving Man

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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What does boarding school shame do to a child’s nervous system — especially when it’s wrapped in privilege, silence, and “you should be grateful”?

In this episode of An Evolving Man, I’m joined by Jessica Boston — trauma-informed transformation coach and creator of The Homecoming Method (a somatic approach integrating subconscious reprogramming, nervous-system safety, and reparenting).

Together we explore how shame forms in boarding school environments through:

👉Constant scrutiny, punishment, and “not enough”

👉Bullying, ostracism, and social exclusion (including a year of silence)

👉Loss of privacy and chronic hypervigilance

👉The deep guilt of speaking up: “Don’t tell. Don’t be ungrateful.”

Jessica shares candidly about her own boarding school experience, how shame distorts perception (“others had it worse”), and why survival often looks like compliance, rebellion, or shutdown.

We also explore the long tail: perfectionism, difficulty trusting yourself, decision paralysis, and the feeling of being “other” even in a room full of people.

We end with practical pathways forward, including:

👉 Recognising shame patterns and language

👉 Re-educating the subconscious

👉 Shifting from external validation (ELOC) to inner authority (ILOC)

👉 Rebuilding self-trust through embodiment and reparenting Jessica’s work:

Website: https://www.jessicaboston.com/ Book: Homecoming Meditations (a guided, room-by-room approach to reconnecting with intuition, boundaries, compassion, and celebration)

If you’re an ex-boarder — or you grew up in any high-shame environment — this conversation will likely land.

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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One year on from my wife, Michelle's death.

What are some reflections?

What are 3 things that have really helped me?

Here is the interview with her: https://youtu.be/fKs1A_4xw7A

Take care,

Piers

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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In this episode of An Evolving Man, I’m joined by Dr. Amy Albright, an expert in human potential who bridges neuroscience, health, business strategy, and spirituality with rare depth and academic rigour.

We go deep into a theme that affects so many leaders — especially those shaped by early separation, boarding school, adoption, or childhood trauma: safety.

Amy explains why safety is not a motivational slogan. It’s a measurable state in the nervous system. When safety is missing, we overthink, disconnect from emotion, struggle with intimacy and leadership, and often reach for relief through work, alcohol, or constant striving. When safety is restored, intuition returns, relationships improve, and performance becomes far more sustainable.

This is a powerful, practical conversation about rebuilding biological safety, restoring embodiment, and integrating science with the sacred without drifting into pseudoscience.

We discuss:

• Why safety is a continuum, not a single achievement
• The leadership cost of chronic fight/flight and emotional shutdown
• Trauma patterns behind addiction (including workaholism)
• Nature and water as nervous-system regulators
• Why meditation can feel hard after trauma (and what helps)
• Embodiment, intuition, and the intelligence of the body
• A larger frame: meaning, miracles, and living in a “friendly universe”

Find Dr. Amy’s work and resources at: holonexperience.com
(Free download mentioned in the episode is available there.)

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

View Details

What happens to a child’s nervous system when safety is missing — not for a moment, but for years?

In this episode, Piers reflects on safety and boarding school, exploring how chronic fear, hypervigilance, and emotional suppression shape the adult nervous system long after school ends.

Drawing from lived experience, trauma psychology, and insights from neuroscientist Dr. Amy Albright, this conversation looks at:
• Why many ex-boarders struggle to relax
• How survival personalities form in unsafe environments
• The link between safety, digestion, and emotional regulation
• Why dissociation becomes a learned survival strategy
• How healing begins by restoring safety in the body

The episode also offers simple, accessible practices to help calm the nervous system and reconnect with embodied safety — including memory, posture, breath, and imagination.

This is a compassionate, non-blaming exploration for anyone who grew up in boarding school and still feels guarded, tense, or disconnected.

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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In this episode of An Evolving Man, I’m joined by Masati, CEO and founder of Exponential Intelligence Science (XI). After multiple near-death experiences, Masati devoted his life to understanding human potential beyond conventional performance psychology—exploring coherence, consciousness, and what creates real, measurable change.

We begin with Masati’s personal story: a life-threatening accident in his mid-20s, the profound “life relive” experience many describe as a life review, and what shifted in his perception when he returned. We then explore why many high performers—particularly those with childhood trauma—build success through a hidden internal equation: using achievement to stabilise an inner wound.

This is a wide-ranging conversation on leadership, trauma, identity, and presence—including a practical exercise to reconnect with the body and reduce overthinking.

Topics include:

• Near-death experiences and expanded perception
• Trauma, success, and the hidden cost of “proving yourself”
• Why performance doesn’t heal the original wound
• Coherence vs. mindset
• Spatial referencing as a daily stabilising practice
• Presence, happiness, and aligning with your highest potential

If you’re a leader, ex-boarder, or high performer exploring deeper healing and sustainable success, this one is for you.

NearDeathExperience

TraumaHealing

HumanPotential

Consciousness

NervousSystem

Leadership

Meditation

SomaticHealing

For more information please visit: https://thexicode.com/

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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Why do so many ex-boarders struggle with decision-making — especially in senior leadership, relationships, and life?

In this reflective solo episode, I explore how boarding school conditioning shapes our ability to think independently, trust intuition, and make decisions without fear of rejection or punishment.

Drawing on the work of Nick Duffell, I unpack the three core survival patterns often seen in ex-boarders — the Complier, the Rebel, and the Crushed — and how each one impacts confidence, intuition, and leadership.

We explore:

• Why decision-making feels easier in middle management but overwhelming at the top
• How humiliation, conformity, and peer policing suppress independent thought
• Why intuition is essential for good decisions — and how boarding school disconnects us from it
• The role of dissociation, overthinking, and perfectionism
• How to rebuild embodied decision-making through nervous system awareness

Referencing insights from Jim Collins, Antonio Damasio, and Alex Ferguson, this episode brings together leadership research, neuroscience, and lived experience.

Decision-making isn’t just cognitive.
It’s emotional, embodied, and relational.

If you grew up being told what to think, when to act, and how to fit in — this episode is an invitation to reconnect with your inner authority and begin deciding from a place of self-trust.

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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In this powerful episode of An Evolving Man, Piers Cross speaks with Jon Wedger (also widely known as John Wedger) — former Metropolitan Police detective and leading UK whistleblower on institutional child sexual abuse and safeguarding failures.

Jon shares what he witnessed while working in specialist units, including child protection, and why he believes abuse is too often protected by silence, status, and institutional self-preservation. He reflects on the cost of speaking out, the long shadow trauma casts over survivors’ lives, and the urgent need for accountability that leads to real-world change.

This conversation is released ahead of the House of Commons screening on Monday 19 January 2026, focused on mandatory reporting and stronger child protection structures.

Content note: This episode discusses child sexual abuse and institutional failures. Please listen with care.

Key themes:

• How systems of silence form inside institutions
• Why justice is central to healing for survivors
• Trauma, dissociation, emotional dysregulation, and survival adaptations
• What reform could actually look like: accountability, transparency, and effective safeguarding
• Practical steps: reporting, recording, contacting MPs, and applying pressure for change

To explore Jon’s public work, visit: https://www.jonwedger.org/

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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In this short reflection recorded outside the House of Commons, Piers Cross shares a deeply personal moment before screening a documentary on institutional harm and child protection.

He explores:

• The fear of speaking up
• How trauma can wire us to avoid, hide, or run
• The shift from threat response to challenge response
• Why embracing discomfort can improve performance, resilience, and even longevity

Referencing research by Elizabeth Blackburn and Kelly McGonigal, this episode is a reminder that meaningful change often begins at the edge of fear — when we choose to stay, speak, and move forward anyway.

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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In this episode of An Evolving Man, Piers speaks with Kara Blackmore — a trauma-informed coach specialising in the long-term emotional and nervous system impacts of boarding school experiences, especially for women.

Kara shares her personal story: choosing boarding school at age 10, the shock of early separation, and the reality of living in an environment with minimal adult supervision, rigid control, and peer-led power dynamics. Together, Piers and Kara explore how emotional neglect and chronic stress can shape adulthood — from hyper-independence and people-pleasing to perfectionism, difficulty resting, and challenges with intimacy, trust, and receiving support.

This conversation is honest, powerful, and at times harrowing — but it also offers hope. Kara speaks about the healing journey: awareness, learning emotional language, inner child work, nervous system safety, and building a life that makes your “soul sing.”

Key themes include:

• “I chose to go” and why childhood “choice” isn’t true consent
• emotional neglect, lack of nurturing, and chronic loneliness
• puberty, privacy, and missing maternal support
• perfectionism/control as a survival strategy
• why ex-boarders struggle to rest, receive, and ask for help
• healing through awareness, compassion, and nervous system repair

Find Kara: https://karablackmorecoach.com/
https://www.facebook.com/kara.thompson.589

https://www.instagram.com/kara__blackmore_coach/

If you found this episode meaningful, please share it — these stories stay hidden for decades, and speaking them is how change happens.

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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In this episode, Piers explores the concept of moral injury and asks whether boarding school environments can create a deep, values-based psychological wound in children.

Moral injury occurs when someone is forced to act against, witness, or remain silent in the face of behaviour that violates their inner moral values. Unlike PTSD, which is fear-based, moral injury is rooted in guilt, shame, loss of integrity, and betrayal of self.

Drawing on lived experience, survivor stories, and trauma-informed perspectives, this episode explores how institutional environments override a child’s moral compass — forcing silence, complicity, and self-betrayal as survival strategies.

Topics include:

• Moral injury vs PTSD
• Boarding school as an ethical conflict for children
• Witnessing abuse and being unable to intervene
• Dissociation and loss of authenticity
• Long-term impacts on mental health, leadership, and relationships
• Pathways to healing through truth-telling, moral coherence, and self-compassion

This episode is especially relevant for former boarders, educators, clinicians, leaders, and anyone interested in trauma-informed leadership and child protection.

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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Here is the link to reach out to your MP for the screening in the House of Commons: https://seenheard.org.uk/boarding-on-insanity-parliamentary-screening/

In this New Year reflection episode, I share an update on the upcoming House of Commons screening of Boarding on Insanity and explore a powerful insight that emerged for me over Christmas while watching the Ashes series.

Why does England’s cricket team — full of talent — so often struggle under pressure?

Drawing on research from the Sutton Trust, Nick Duffell’s Wounded Leaders, and trauma experts including Judith Herman, Peter Levine, and Bessel van der Kolk, I explore how early boarding school experiences shape the nervous system — particularly our ability to regulate stress.

We discuss:

• why many former boarders struggle to access the parasympathetic “rest and digest” state
• how dissociation works under pressure — and why it eventually fails
• why England’s performance improved once the pressure of winning was removed
• how unresolved childhood stress shows up in leadership, sport, and public life

I also share a simple nervous system regulation practice I use personally and with clients — helping leaders move from chronic stress into safety, embodiment, and clarity.

This episode connects leadership, sport, trauma, and child development — and asks what might be possible if we became a trauma-informed society.

📌 House of Commons Screening – 19 January
Please contact your MP and support the call for mandatory reporting and improved child protection.

Thank you for listening, and for being part of this movement.

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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This week I rewatched Home Alone — and realised it can be viewed as a surprisingly powerful study of child development, attachment, and the psychology of separation.

Kevin is eight years old — an age that matters deeply in the UK context, because it has historically been an age when many children began boarding school. In this short reflection, I explore key moments in the film through a boarding-school lens, drawing on the work of Joy Schaverien and Nick Duffell.

We reflect on:

• why “not knowing the basics” at eight is development — not failure
• the confusion children experience when we warn them about strangers, then send them to live with strangers
• the mother’s panic response and what it reveals about attachment
• rupture and repair — and why apology matters
• why many ex-boarders don’t tell their parents what really happened

A gentle, thoughtful Christmas reflection — and a question for all of us:
What kind of childhood are we protecting… and what kind are we cutting short?

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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In this reflective episode, Piers Cross explores boarding school, the mother wound, and the lasting impact of early separation from parents — particularly as Christmas approaches.

Inspired by a powerful public conversation between Amelia White and her mother, Piers reflects on how boarding school disrupts natural attachment, prevents rupture and repair, and often leaves relationships with parents — especially mothers — emotionally distant.

Drawing on personal experience, clinical insight, and the work of Nick Duffell, Joy Schaverien, Suzanne Zeedyk, and Alex Renton, this episode explores why so many former boarders live far from home, struggle to trust caregivers, and carry grief that is rarely named.

This is a compassionate, trauma-informed exploration of loss, responsibility, listening, and healing — and an invitation to reflect more deeply during the holiday season.

For the conversation between Amelia and her mother: https://youtu.be/ZofjtmiMidw?si=uyEKeRDT-WrAUQj-

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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For the article in the Telegraph: https://www.telegraph.co.uk/education-and-careers/2025/12/03/working-at-a-boarding-school-is-like-being-in-a-cult/

And for the letter to write to your MP: https://seenheard.org.uk/boarding-on-insanity-parliamentary-screening/

In this short solo episode, I share an update and a heartfelt thank you.

On 19th January 2026, we’ll be hosting a special screening of our documentary Boarding on Insanity inside the House of Commons. We’re inviting MPs, charity leaders and the media to confront an uncomfortable truth:

In England and Wales, it is still not a criminal offence for professionals in regulated roles to fail to report known or suspected child sexual abuse.

In this episode I talk about:

• Why this screening matters so much
• The urgent need for effective mandatory reporting
• Why a dedicated Child Protection Agency is essential
• How institutions often close ranks and punish whistleblowers
• What you can do today to help protect children

👉 Please contact your MP.
A simple template letter and guidance on how to find your MP are available via the link in the show notes. It only takes a few minutes and it genuinely makes a difference to how many MPs show up in January. https://seenheard.org.uk/boarding-on-insanity-parliamentary-screening/

Thank you for your support, your courage, and your willingness to stand with survivors. Together, we can change this.

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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In this episode of An Evolving Man Podcast (AEM #146), I speak with Ian Keys, an ex-boarder, youth worker and newly qualified counsellor, about what really happens when neurodiverse children move through a schooling system that doesn’t understand them.

Ian started boarding school at 11 and left with no qualifications, convinced he was “thick”. Decades later, after working with excluded teenagers, forest school groups, neurodivergent young people and national-level athletes, he began to see the truth: the problem was never his intelligence – it was the environment.

Together we explore:

• How dyslexia and neurodiversity show up in the classroom – and how easily they are misread
• Boarding school syndrome, dissociation and the survival strategies children develop
• The idea of Adverse School Experiences (ASEs) and how they sit alongside ACEs
• Shaming practices (like “being sent to Coventry”) and their long-term impact on self-worth
• What Scandinavian education offers as a different model: attachment, play, nature and trust
• Practical ways adults can begin to heal and “rewrite the story” after harmful schooling

This episode is for ex-boarders, neurodivergent adults, therapists, teachers, parents – and anyone who suspects that school left deeper marks than they realised.

🔗 Find out more about Ian’s work and writing on adverse school experiences via his website http://www.iankeys.co.uk/

If this conversation resonates, please share it with someone who might need to hear it.

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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Are boarding schools reaching the end of the road?

To contact your MP to get them to attend the House of Commons screening please visit here: https://seenheard.org.uk/boarding-on-insanity-parliamentary-screening/

In today’s episode, I reflect on last week’s conference honouring Dr Joy Schaverien and share surprising insights from conversations with people working inside the current boarding school system. Many schools appear to be moving into survival mode — and the strategies they’re using may be accelerating their decline.

We look at:

• Why prep schools are being pushed back into the pipeline
• How trauma patterns influence leadership decisions
• Why emotional intelligence is the future of education
• What AI, neuroscience and attachment theory reveal about outdated schooling models
• The growing national movement calling for child safety and systemic reform

With a major screening of Boarding on Insanity inside the Houses of Parliament this January, momentum is shifting fast. The next decade may bring profound change to how we educate and protect children.

If this episode resonates, please share it — and consider writing to your MP using the link in the show notes. Change happens when we act together.

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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In this episode, I share reflections on the upcoming event The Silent Damage of Boarding School — a special day honouring the life and work of Dr Joy Schaverien, whose research into Boarding School Syndrome has transformed the field of trauma and psychotherapy.

I walk through what the event includes, who will be speaking, and why Joy’s contributions continue to be so influential across psychology, counselling, and survivor communities.

The online version of the event still has tickets available.

Featuring speakers: Helen Odell-Miller, Alex Renton, Graham Music, and Zachary Fair — plus the premiere of a new 25-minute film from my interview with Joy.

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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For the link to Nicky Moxey and Dr Linda Devereux's book Worlds Away From Home: https://amzn.eu/d/9sE6I0j

Fear is one of the most overlooked experiences in boarding school life.

In this episode, Piers reflects on his own memories of fear and explores why so many ex-boarders still carry hypervigilance and survival patterns into adulthood.

Drawing on research from Suzanne Zeedyk, Nick Duffell and Emma Seppälä, along with real stories from former boarders, Piers explains how fear shapes the nervous system — and how we can begin to heal.

A compassionate, grounded discussion for anyone exploring boarding school syndrome or emotional recovery.

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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In this transformative conversation, Piers Cross speaks with Corey Corpodian — author, orthodontist, and host of the Unleash Success Podcast — about how to master your emotions, build resilience, and lead with authenticity.

After achieving every external marker of success, Corey found himself deeply unfulfilled. A life-changing health scare set him on a new path toward emotional fitness — a discipline of daily exercises that rewire the brain and strengthen mental and emotional resilience.

Together, they discuss:

• How to transform emotional pain into purpose
• Why EQ can be trained and strengthened over time
• The link between leadership, vulnerability, and emotional fitness
• Tools for reconnecting with your emotions after trauma or disconnection
• How to develop a growth mindset through consistent awareness and reflection

A conversation filled with science, story, and wisdom — for anyone ready to move beyond emotional survival and into emotional mastery.

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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What do AI, neuroscience, and boarding schools have in common?

In this reflective solo episode, Piers Cross explores how artificial intelligence mirrors the left-brain dominance of elite education — and why the real revolution ahead is emotional, not technological.

Drawing on thinkers like Arthur Brooks, Daniel Goleman, and Nick Duffell, Piers unpacks why empathy, adaptability, and emotional intelligence are the skills that will define successful leaders in an AI-driven world.

If you’ve ever wondered how education, trauma, and technology intersect, this episode offers a fresh, compassionate lens on the future of humanity.

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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Some reflections about last Saturday's Boarding School Concern conference.

What an amazing, heart-felt day.

I felt very blessed to be there.

A big thank you to all the organisers and volunteers and all the participants for attending.

It was lovely to meet so many of you.

I talk a little about dissociation which is what happened during my talk.

To learn more about the BS Concern's work please visit: https://boardingschoolconcern.uk/

And Seen and Heard: https://seenheard.org.uk/

Take care, Piers

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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In this episode of An Evolving Man Podcast, I speak with Sarah Jane Perrett, an intuitive happiness coach and energy practitioner who helps people release emotional baggage, reconnect with their intuition, and rediscover joy.

Sarah shares her extraordinary journey from post-natal depression and breakdown to a profound spiritual awakening in 2013 — and how this experience led her to the transformative work she does today. We discuss the science and spirituality of emotional healing, from HeartMath research to the Emotion Code and neuroplasticity, and explore how to shift from survival mode to emotional freedom.

A deep, heartfelt conversation on the courage to feel, the wisdom of the body, and the rediscovery of love, peace, and self-trust.

🎧 Topics Covered:

• The relationship between the heart and brain
• What is the Heart Wall and how to release it
• How to rewire your thoughts through neuroplasticity
• Moving from victimhood to empowerment
• Tools for emotional regulation and heart-based living

🌿 Find Sarah: https://www.thehappinessgap.co.uk

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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The Boarding School Survivors Conference 2025 (formerly Boarding School Concern) takes place on 1st November in London (Euston). I’ll be speaking and showing our documentary Boarding on Insanity with a live Q&A.

Speakers include Dr Suzanne Zeedyk, Dr Linda Devereux, Nicky Moxey, and Nick Duffell, among others. It’s an extraordinary event for anyone exploring the long-term impacts of early separation, boarding school syndrome, and healing through community and understanding.

🎟️ For tickets and full details, visit: https://boardingschoolconcern.uk/

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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In this episode, I reflect on letter writing at boarding school — and what those censored, monitored, or ignored letters reveal about the emotional isolation many children experienced.

Drawing on the writings of Nick Duffell, Jeremy Paxman, and Karen Wilson, as well as my own childhood letters from the 1980s, I explore how boarding schools conditioned children to hide their real feelings.

This conversation touches on censorship, shame, and the lifelong habit of self-silencing — but also offers hope for healing and reconnection.

A heartfelt invitation to reflect on your own story and the power of reclaiming your true voice.

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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In episode #143 of An Evolving Man, I’m joined by Karen Wilson, author of Atrocious Behavior.

Karen was sent to boarding school at just seven years old and expelled by ten. Her memoir captures the harsh reality of punishment, isolation, and shame — and her later discovery of healing through theatre, teaching, and reflection.

We explore how trauma lives on in the body, how neglect shapes the nervous system, and what it means to reclaim compassion after early betrayal.

This is a powerful conversation about survival, courage, and finding meaning beyond suffering.

📘 Karen Wilson’s memoir “Atrocious Behavior” is available now on Amazon. https://amzn.eu/d/fWfpSFa

🎧 Listen to more episodes: https://www.piers-cross.com/an-evolving-man-podcast

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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What happens when a generation of children are raised to fear softness, sensitivity, and touch?

In this solo reflection, I look at the unspoken culture of homophobia and repression in boarding schools — where words like “you’re gay” became weapons of humiliation. Drawing from Boarding School Syndrome by Joy Schaverien, Trauma, Abandonment & Privilege by Nick Duffell, and reflections from Stephen Fry, I explore how this culture shaped our sense of identity, sexuality, and emotional expression.

This conversation isn’t about sexuality alone — it’s about how we learned to disconnect from the lover within and how healing means bringing that energy back to life.

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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What happens when the patterns of boarding school shape the boardroom?

In this episode, I speak with Collette Easton — former CEO, executive coach, and author of Manager. Collette shares her journey from boarding school and the RAF, to building digital businesses, and now helping leaders overcome toxic patterns that hold them back.

We discuss:

• The impact of boarding school on leadership styles
• Why some CEOs unconsciously recreate authoritarian environments
• The difference between “managing” and leading with compassion
• How psychological safety and EQ fuel business growth
• Practical steps to shift out of stress, defensiveness, and finger-pointing

If you’ve ever wondered why so many leaders struggle with empathy — or how to build healthier organizations — this conversation will give you tools, hope, and fresh perspective.

📘 Download Collette’s book Manager for free: Download Collette’s book Manager here: https://zokri.com/manager

Connect with Collette on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/coletteeaston

To buy her new book: https://amzn.eu/d/gPnkmdy

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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Do boarding schools create fixed mindset thinkers or growth mindset leaders? In this episode, I explore Carol Dweck’s research on Mindset and connect it with my experiences — and those of many clients — who came through the boarding school system.

We unpack the core differences between fixed and growth mindsets, look at how school culture fosters one or the other, and explore practical ways to shift into growth. From Usain Bolt’s relentless training to Angela Merkel’s willingness to admit mistakes, we see that effort and resilience — not innate talent — drive true success.

Join me as I share insights, stories, and reflections on how mindset impacts leadership, healing, and the way we live.

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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In episode 141 of An Evolving Man Podcast, I’m joined by Anthony Abbagnano, founder of Alchemy of Breath.

Anthony shares his deeply personal story of childhood trauma, boarding school experiences, and how an encounter with breathwork as a child shaped the course of his life. Today, he’s one of the world’s leading voices in conscious breathwork, with facilitators trained in more than 70 countries.

We dive into:

• Breath as a tool for healing trauma and reclaiming choice
• Masculinity, chaos, and how men can step into authentic leadership
• Simple practices like coherence breathing to restore calm and resilience
• The link between breath, spirituality, and transformation
• Why acts of kindness and presence can change the world

This conversation is both moving and practical — a reminder that healing is possible, and the breath is always available to guide us home.

👉 Explore Anthony’s work at https://alchemyofbreath.com

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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In this episode of An Evolving Man Podcast, I share reflections on the power of breathwork and how it helps us heal from trauma.

Drawing on insights from my recent interview with Anthony Abbagnano (founder of Alchemy of Breath), as well as the work of Bessel van der Kolk and Emma Seppälä, I explore:

• Why trauma often causes us to hold or restrict the breath
• How different breathing patterns affect emotions like calm, stress, or anger
• The practice of coherence breathing (5 in, 5 out) for daily regulation
• Personal experiences of using breath to move out of fight-or-flight states
• Why nasal breathing is key for nervous system balance

Breath is always available to us. With awareness and practice, it becomes a rapid pathway to restore calm, regulate emotions, and reconnect with ourselves.

👉 Link to my conversation with Anthony Abbagnano (live on Friday - https://youtu.be/nN8FQLPNs-U).

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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In this episode, I sit down with Kalyani Pardeshi, award-winning author, TEDx speaker, and anti-bullying advocate. Kalyani draws from her own boarding school experiences and her years of work with children, adults, and organisations to explain why traditional anti-bullying strategies often fail — and how the unconscious brain holds the key to real change.

We explore the painful reality of bullying, the long-term effects of self-bullying and overachievement, and how these patterns often lead to burnout. Kalyani also shares her framework for identifying intangible drivers — the unique motivators that help us live with greater fulfilment and emotional resilience.

This is an episode full of honesty, practical tools, and hope for those looking to break free from old wounds and the inner critic.

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

View Details

For the interview with Kalyani Pardeshi: https://youtu.be/iBXcs5i4zyg

For the interview with Nicky Moxey and Dr Linda Devereux:

https://youtu.be/oJNHoex41-Q For the interview with Sara Warner and Karen Macmillan:

https://youtu.be/VXAHJucCGsY

For the interview with Amelia White:

https://youtu.be/08WbNwen_SA

For the interview with Joanna Brittan: https://youtu.be/MJknonuf4Sw

For Karen Wilson's book: https://amzn.eu/d/9Z4gqUv

In this solo reflection, I look at the distinct experiences of girls at boarding school and how they differ from boys’. Drawing on survivor interviews and books such as Stolen Childhood by Karen Wilson, I explore how discipline, shame, and control were used to mould girls into compliant “ladies,” while boys were prepared for leadership.

We discuss:

• Bullying and shaming rituals used against girls
• The policing of uniforms, bodies, and food
• The absence of role models during puberty and adolescence
• Long-term impacts on identity, confidence, and relationships
• Survival strategies of girls vs boys
• Why survivors’ stories — from Kate Middleton’s Down House days to modern accounts — still matter today

This episode is both a witness and a call: to keep these conversations alive, to challenge the culture of silence, and to acknowledge the wounds still carried by so many women.

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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In this episode of An Evolving Man, I speak with Françoise Elvin, counsellor, mentor, facilitator, and author of Uneldered. We discuss:

• Secure vs insecure attachment — and how it shapes our adult lives
• Trauma as “undigested experience” and the importance of integration
• Why elders and initiatory practices are vital for healthy societies
• The balance of masculine (yang) and feminine (yin) initiation
• Her upcoming project: the Sovereignty School
• The role of nature, meditation, and presence in healing

Françoise shares her journey from Zen practice in her 20s to her current work in counselling and mentoring, offering wisdom on how to move from fragmentation into wholeness.

🔗 Connect with Françoise: https://elephant.intheroom.is

Françoise Elvin is a highly experienced Counsellor, Mentor, Facilitator and Author who has spenta lifetimeexploring the body-mind-spirit connection. She began her journey into holistic well-being by immersing herself in yoga, meditation, and nature over 30 years ago.

In 2024 she published ‘UnEldered’, a non-fiction work exploring, amongst other things, the role of Elders in traditional culture and the impact of their absence from modern society. In the counselling room her specialisms include reframing disabling narratives through the power of deep listening. She uses parts work and a person-centred approach. Many of her clients suffer from Complex PTSD (trauma), ADHD, sex and intimacy issues and narcissistic abuse. Her work is body-based and somatic, embracing attachment and polyvagal theories.

Francoise is also a mother and grandmother. Her aspiration to become a modern-day Elder is prompting her to establish an Intergenerational Sovereignty School in south Devon. You can reach her at Elephant.intherooom.is to enquire about sessions and copies of her book (also on Amazon). She welcomes collaborators and guest teachers to develop the curriculum for the Sovereignty School.

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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In this solo episode, I explore one of the deepest wounds many ex-boarders carry: “I’m not good enough.”

We look at:

• Why this belief develops in boarding school environments
• The double bind that places blame inward on the child
• How it manifests later in life as burnout, addiction, or perfectionism
• The role of attachment in buffering or amplifying trauma
• Practical ways to reframe self-talk, celebrate achievements, and parent ourselves

If you’ve ever felt like you’re not enough — or noticed this pattern in leaders, colleagues, or loved ones — this episode offers insights and practices to shift from self-criticism to self-compassion.

✨ New episodes every week on psychology, child development, and boarding school syndrome.

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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In this episode, I sit down with Paul Sunderland, an internationally respected addiction specialist and trainer. With decades of clinical experience on both sides of the Atlantic, Paul has become a leading voice on the often-hidden connection between complex PTSD, adoption, boarding school trauma, and addiction.

We explore:

• Paul’s personal story of addiction and recovery.
• Why early separation wounds are disguised traumas that shape lifelong patterns.
• The link between complex PTSD and addiction as an adaptive response.
• Why boarding school syndrome should be understood as a form of complex PTSD.
• Pathways to healing — from psychoeducation to co-regulation and trauma therapies.

Paul’s work is a reminder that beneath the pain of addiction often lies unacknowledged trauma — and that recovery is not about fixing overnight, but about finding safety, connection, and growth.

Paul Sunderland is a renowned addiction specialist, consultant and trainer.

With over 35 years of experience, Paul’s ground-breaking work has especially illuminated the deep and often-overlooked links between adoption, trauma, and addictions. His powerful presentations available on YouTube have resonated with thousands around the world.

Questions for Paul:

1. How did you get into the work you now do?
2. Could you please talk me through Complex PTSD – what is it and how does it differ from PTSD?
3. Could you please talk about addictions. Why is addiction an adaptive response to complex PTSD?
4. How do addictions migrate?
5. Could you please speak to the disguised trauma of early boarders?
6. Could you also please speak to how adoptees are over represented in addiction treatment?
7. What are some of the techniques that you use for helping people recover from complex PTSD and addictions?
8. Could please speak to how mental and emotional health are relational?
9. How do people find out more about your work?

For Paul's TED X talk: https://youtu.be/liCfwTFUYNw?si=uYDWXQrO077TTVh7

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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I spoke with addiction specialist Paul Sunderland on Monday: https://youtu.be/a7tBz4adgGo

In the conversation he spoke about addictions and why early boarders and adoptees are over represented in addiction treatment and recovery.

He calls these traumas "disguised" in the way that they are seen as lucky.

I also talk about how Paul refers to the equation: Stress - Without Attachment = Trauma.

I explore how boarding school breaks attachment and is essentially "Without Attachment".

Any questions please do let me know, Take care, Piers

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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Should Prince George follow his father to Eton College — or his mother to Marlborough College? Or should he avoid boarding altogether?

In this episode, I explore the debate currently surrounding Prince William and Kate Middleton’s choice of school for their son, who has just turned 12. Drawing on stories from both Eton and Marlborough, as well as insights from neuroscience and decades of research into “boarding school syndrome,” I share why this decision carries far more weight than simply prestige or tradition.

In this video, I cover:

• Kate Middleton’s difficult start at Down House and later move to Marlborough
• Prince William’s experience at Eton, and Harry’s reflections in Spare
• Accounts of bullying, abuse, and emotional neglect from alumni of both schools
• Why children under 16 should not board, based on attachment science and trauma research
• Five neuroscience-backed reasons why boarding undermines leadership development
• Why day schools close to home may provide healthier foundations for Prince George

As the next generation of leaders emerges, emotional intelligence, relationships, and secure attachments matter more than privilege or tradition.

📚 Books & references mentioned include:

• Spare by Prince Harry
• Wounded Leaders by Nick Duffell
• Antonio Damasio’s research on decision-making and emotion
• Dibbe Onyema’s account of racial abuse at Eton

👉 What do you think — Eton, Marlborough, or neither? Share your thoughts in the comments.

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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What role can plant medicines play in deep trauma healing?

In this episode of An Evolving Man Podcast, I sit down with Dr. Richard Grossman — acupuncturist, healer, and long-time student of Amazonian plant medicine traditions. We explore his decades of work at the intersection of Eastern medicine, shamanic healing, and trauma recovery.

Dr. Grossman shares his experiences studying with indigenous teachers in Peru, working with ayahuasca, and guiding people through profound emotional and spiritual transformation. We also explore the importance of preparation, integration, and respect when engaging with sacred plants.

In this conversation, we discuss:

• How Dr. Grossman moved from Western medical training to holistic healing
• The healing potential of ayahuasca and other plant medicines
• Why integration is just as important as the ceremony itself
• The relationship between trauma and spiritual awakening
• Lessons learned from decades of working with indigenous healers
• Navigating the risks, challenges, and misconceptions about plant medicine

This is a deep, nuanced look at how plant medicines can support emotional and spiritual growth — and why they’re not a shortcut, but a doorway into deeper work.

📖 Learn more about Dr. Grossman: https://heartfeather.com/

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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In this episode, I reflect on the changing face of leadership. For generations, leaders operated in a command-and-control style—authoritarian, hierarchical, and often ruthless. But today, we’re seeing a shift toward emotionally and spiritually intelligent leadership, grounded in compassion, care, and trust.

I draw on insights from books and leaders including Admiral Mike Manazir, Simon Sinek, Richard Branson, John C. Maxwell, and The Leadership Challenge, to explore:

• Why authoritarian leadership is breaking down
• How compassion and psychological safety drive innovation and loyalty
• The difference between creating followers and multiplying leaders
• Why love may be the most powerful and lasting secret of effective leadership

Leadership is evolving—and this conversation is an invitation to rethink how we lead, how we inspire, and how we leave a legacy.

✨ Connect with me to learn more about The Compassionate Leaders Pathway, starting this September.

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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In this deeply moving and vital episode of The Evolving Man Podcast, I sit down with Neil Harding — survivor, advocate, and whistleblower — to speak honestly and bravely about the widespread child sexual abuse that took place at Dilworth School in New Zealand.

Neil was a full-time boarder from the age of 9. For decades, he held onto the trauma he experienced there, until the day came when he could stay silent no longer.

What follows is a raw and powerful conversation about trauma, grooming, institutional betrayal, and the long path to healing. Neil shares his story not for sympathy, but to shine a light on a culture of secrecy and enablement — and to support other survivors who still feel voiceless.

We also explore how Neil reclaimed his voice, how he moved through shame, and the personal toll of standing up to institutions that failed him and many others.

This episode is for every survivor. And for every person ready to truly listen.

In this episode, we discuss:

• Neil’s early experiences at Dilworth School
• Grooming, silence, and the mechanisms of institutional abuse
• The long-term impacts of sexual trauma
• Shame, addiction, and the search for safety
• Speaking out in adulthood and confronting the system
• What survivors need — and rarely get — from society
• How community, therapy, and visibility support healing

🎧 AEM #136 is a call to truth, compassion, and action.

📢 If you’re a survivor, or you work with trauma, this is a must-listen.

🛑 Content Warning: This episode includes discussions of child sexual abuse and trauma.

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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What happens when your parents — not you — went to boarding school? How might their experiences shape your childhood, and the adult you become?

In this reflective episode, I explore the hidden ways parental boarding school experiences can ripple through generations. Drawing on personal stories, research, and dozens of podcast interviews, I share how traits like emotional distance, overwork, and repression can often be traced back to the complex trauma of boarding school.

We discuss:

• The symptoms of Boarding School Syndrome in parents
• How these patterns affect family relationships
• Why your parents might say they “loved it” — and what’s really underneath
• The power of asking open, curious questions about their school experience
• How understanding their story can soften your heart and open the door to healing

This episode invites you to look at your own family history with fresh eyes. You may discover that your parents’ struggles were never about you — they were the echoes of an education system built on separation, survival, and silence.

Resources mentioned:

• Boarding on Insanity documentary
• Podcast interviews with Joy Schaverien, Alex Renton, and Nick Duffell
• Dr. Gabor Maté on developmental trauma

🎧 Listen in, reflect, and if you can, start the conversation.

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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In this powerful episode of The Evolving Man Podcast, I speak with Professor Dr. Paul Miller — consultant psychiatrist, EMDR trainer, and pioneer in the use of psychedelic-assisted therapy for trauma.

We explore Dr. Miller's remarkable journey through psychiatry, from the early days of surgical training to becoming a leading voice in trauma-informed care. He shares eye-opening insights into how trauma shapes the brain, why traditional psychiatric models often fall short, and how EMDR and psychedelics are offering new hope for people with PTSD, complex trauma, and even schizophrenia.

Dr. Miller also opens up about his own lived experience — of loss, betrayal, and healing — and why he believes authentic therapeutic relationships and community are at the heart of recovery.

In this episode, we cover:

• Dr. Miller’s path from surgery to psychiatry
• The limitations of purely biological models of mental illness
• EMDR and how it transforms trauma recovery
• Complex PTSD and the role of attachment, especially in early life
• His groundbreaking work with psychedelic medicines (MDMC, ketamine, psilocybin)
• The sacred art of listening and container-building in therapy
• Why trauma-informed care must replace the outdated “broken brain” narrative
• The impact of boarding schools, shame, and developmental trauma

Whether you’re a therapist, someone on your own healing journey, or simply trauma-curious, this episode will leave you informed, inspired, and grounded in hope.

🔗 Learn more about Dr. Paul Miller’s work: https://mirabilishealth.co.uk
🔗 Watch short videos: Search “Morabilis Health Institute” on YouTube
🔗 Connect on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-paul-miller

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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A few weeks ago I was talking to a friend about his CEO.

He mentioned that the CEO tried to micromanage everything.

And that he couldn't stop. And that he was reaching burnout.

He mentioned that he was South African.

So I asked, "Did he go to boarding school?"

He replied, "Yes, I am pretty sure he did."

So I mentioned boarding school syndrome and that micromanaging everything, trying to control all the details, being hypervigilant, workoholism and consequently burnout were all part of the symptoms.

And over the years working with public school educated leaders I have seen these traits over and over again.

So today I delve into why boarding schools create burnout and what we can do to start to rewire our brains.

Take care, Piers

boardingschoolsyndrome #leadershipdevelopment #burnout #meditation

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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Last week I took a holiday and had time off work.

I recorded this reflection about how stress is not usually the problem and is often a good thing.

That is as long as we rest.

When we rest daily.

We stop.

We turn off our phones and push notifications.

We grow.

Some reflections today about the equation Stress + Rest = Growth.

Take care, Piers

stressmanagement #rest #growth #burnout #leadershipburnout

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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Roy Biancalana is a nationally recognized relationship coach, bestselling author, and host of The Attracting Lasting Love Podcast. With over 15 years of experience, Roy helps singles identify and overcome the internal barriers that keep them from finding fulfilling, lasting relationships. His journey into coaching began from personal hardship – navigating heartbreak, divorce, and unsuccessful rebounds – ultimately leading him to seek out coaching for himself. This transformative experience ignited his passion to guide others through their own relationship challenges.

INTERVIEW QUESTIONS

Title: The “Curiosity Approach” to Finding a Life Partner

1. You have an interesting story as to how you got into relationship coaching. It ties directly into our topic today and I think it’s relevant for our listeners. Can you tell us about that?

2. In your new book, Quantum Questions, you present a new and fresh approach to finding a life partner. It’s what you call, “The Curiosity Approach”. What do you mean by that?

3. Your book talks about asking yourself “7 Radical Questions,” that lead to attracting a healthy, lasting, intimate relationship. Can you talk about a couple of them?

4. You have an free gift to offer our listeners. Can you tell us about it?

5. What does it mean to be in “relationship shape” and why is it essential for attracting love?
6. What are the most common self-sabotaging patterns in relationships and how can people break free from them?
7. How did your personal experiences with heartbreak shape the way you coach others today?
8. What are the biggest internal blocks that prevent people from finding and sustaining healthy relationships?
9. How do masculine and feminine energies influence attraction and relationship dynamics?
10. What is the first step someone can take to shift their mindset and attract better relationships?
11. How can someone heal from heartbreak and rebuild trust after being deeply hurt or betrayed?
12. What is the biggest myth about online dating and how can people use it more effectively?
13. Why do so many people fear being alone and how can embracing solitude lead to healthier relationships?
14. What is one piece of advice you wish everyone knew before entering a relationship?

https://coachingwithroy.com/

For his books: https://amzn.eu/d/gJMhnBj

relationships #foundationsofrelationship #boardingschoolsyndrome #relationshipproblems #emotionalintelligence

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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Some reflections on my 50th birthday.

Feeling some sadness and grief.

And appreciation for all the support I have had over the years.

Thank you,

Piers x

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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Chris Braitch is a father of 3 first and foremost. He is also a 1-2-1 and organisational coach, speaker, and founding director of the not for profit Seen & Heard. Seen & Heard supports the emotional well being of ex-pupils of boarding and independent day schools, and their families. Chris has found his calling supporting others on their journey to healing and joy, utilising his diverse life experiences, and professional skills learned over a 20-year career in sales, marketing, and management at some of the world’s largest food companies.

Questions for Chris:

1. I would love for both of us to share some of our experiences of the corporate world. What were your experiences?
2. What were both of your experiences of leadership in those environments?
3. Could you please talk to the difference between command and control and emotionally intelligent leadership?
4. What is currently happening in leadership at the moment?
5. Could you please link boarding school and leadership? What is the connection between the lack of empathy many political leaders show and their upbringing?
6. Why have you put together this Compassionate Leaders Pathway course?
7. What are the 12 steps of the Compassionate Leader?
8. Why is this course different from any of the thousands of courses available?
9. I have seen that you have launched ‘The Long Journey Home’ campaign this Summer, can you tell me a bit more about this and how people can get involved?
10. You mentioned it has been a slow start to the campaign; can you tell me about the feedback you have been getting from people?
11. You mentioned before the podcast that you have a busy Summer getting ready to launch the Seen & Heard schools website, can you tell me about this part of Seen & Heard, and the challenges you have been facing so far.
12. I recently contributed to an article you are putting together at S&H called “Is boarding school right for my child”. How is that going?
13. How do people learn more?

https://www.piers-cross.com/the-compassionate-leader

https://seenheard.org.uk/blog/the-long-journey-home-a-national-campaign-to-raise-awareness-funds-and-to-get-active-and-have-fun/

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

View Details

True Leadership Is About Empowerment, Not Control

In the kind of leadership I believe in—and teach—power isn’t something to hold onto.

It’s something to share.

The most emotionally intelligent leaders I know aren’t focused on creating followers.

They’re committed to growing more leaders.

As John C Maxwell writes in The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership he personally learned to change his leadership focus "from leading followers developing leaders."

That shift happens when we:

✅ Create space for others to step into their own authority

✅ Offer support, not micromanagement

✅ Encourage autonomy, creativity, and ownership

✅ Lead from trust, not fear

And the ripple effect is huge:

➡️ When people feel seen, empowered, and free to lead from their strengths, teams become more resilient.

➡️ Cultures become more human.

➡️ And leadership becomes something that’s shared—not just worn by the person at the top. How are you growing the leaders around you?

TheCompassionateLeader #Leadership #Empowerment #EmotionalIntelligence #InnerWork #TraumaInformedLeadership #ConsciousLeadership #HeartCentredBusiness #MenAtWork #LeadershipDevelopment

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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Sifu Boggie (a.k.a Paul Brighton) is a Daoist guide, mentor, and self-healing practitioner with over 40 years of experience in Daoism and Qigong. Trained by renowned Daoist masters, he specializes in Qi Gong, Tai Chi, Shun Dao philosophy, and other healing modalities. He is also a Barefoot Doctor, Daoist Shaman, and teacher of Eastern Reiki, Chinese Reiki, Reflexology, TuiNa, Tit-Tar (back correction), Acupressure, and ShunDao Massage. Sifu Boggie’s teachings blend Daoist philosophy with practical energy work and bodywork techniques, offering transformative pathways for physical, emotional, and energetic healing.

Questions for Sifu:

1. I would love for you to share some of your journey. How did you get into the work you now do?
2. Could you please talk about how you have adapted ancient wisdom to modern challenges?
3. How do we transform stress into growth?
4. There is a rise in mental health issues globally. What are some of the ancient practices that you use and teach other to help them mentally?
5. In your opinion what is the impact of childhood trauma on the nervous system and our health?
6. What are some of the practices the ancient Chinese used for dealing with trauma?
7. Resilience – what are some of the practices that we can use to develop our resilience?
8. How practices rooted in epigenetics enable people to reprogram their internal narratives, fostering resilience and renewing their sense of control over their health.
9. Other areas:
   1. Men seeking spirituality
   2. personal growth
   3. modern stress-relief seekers
   4. Eastern philosophy.
   5. how the way we think, move, and feel can profoundly influence our physical and emotional well-being.
   6. How to shift out of cycles of pain, fatigue, or emotional stagnation, help people to reclaim vitality and joy.

taoism #qigong #childhoodtrauma #epigenetics #trauma #resilience

To find out more about Sifu Boggie's work: https://shundao.uscreen.io/pages/promo

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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The new 3 part documentary "Coming Home" will be available to stream on https://www.boardingoninsanity.com/ from Saturday 5th July.

Today I talk about what is in the film and why listening to other people's stories is so important for our journey of healing.

I also talk about Seen and Heard's new fundraiser, The Long Journey Home. To support or to become a participant you can do so here: https://www.goodhub.com/go/longjourneyhome

And for last Friday's podcast talking about African boarding schools: https://youtu.be/iQ7fPjbskvI

And for this Friday's podcast talking about self-healing with a self-healing master: https://youtu.be/1-eLcVpmLoQ

Take care, Piers

boardingoninsanity #boardingschoolsyndrome #boardingschool #boardingschooltrauma #cominghome

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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Mpumelelo Mpofu is a pioneering thinker, practitioner, and systems architect

whose groundbreaking work spans personal transformation, family dynamics,

organisational wellbeing, and societal change. With over two decades of direct

experience working with children, families, and trauma recovery, his revolutionary

concept of Compassion Economics reframes compassion as a finite, measurable,

and renewable resource—as critical to manage as time, money, or energy.

Questions for Mpumelelo:

1. How did you get into the work you now do?
2. Could you please talk about your own experiences of boarding school in Southern Rhodesia?
3. Could you please introduce "Compassion Economics"?
4. What is Compassion Leakage
   1. Compassion Poverty
   2. Compassion Bankruptcy
   3. Energy Depletion
5. Boarding School Syndromes & Colonial Legacy – A deeper dive into how apartheid-era Southern Rhodesia institutionalised false Christianity and whiteness, shaping trauma that persists today. This aligns with your work on systemic influences in personal development.
6. Why parenting Has Nothing To Do With Children.

To learn more about Mpumelelo's work please visit: www.avoidleakage.com

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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I watched The Imitation Game last night with Benedict Cumberpatch.

There were several references to his boarding school, Sherbourne in it.

Today I offer some thoughts.

Did Alan Turing have boarding school syndrome and what were his boarding school experiences like?

Take care, Piers

enigma #alanturing #theimitationgame #benedictcumberbatch #boardingschool

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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4 Months After The Death of My Wife... | Piers Cross

Today I share some reflections four months after the death of my wife.

What has it been like?

What have I learned?

For the video: 9 Ways I Dealt With Grief: https://youtu.be/tKgGG9i1FbI

For the original video where I share the news about my wife: https://youtu.be/fYSs8JOeYgg

To buy tickets for the Boarding on Insanity screening in West Yorkshire on 27th June: https://www.tickettailor.com/events/soulwellnesshub1/1712713

posttraumaticgrowth #grief #death #dying

Take care,

Piers

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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A few days ago, a colleague recommended I connect with Chris Barez-Brown.

I listened to one of his talks on resilience — and a lightbulb went on.

For the past 10 years, I’ve worked closely with leaders — many of whom attended boarding school. Over time, I’ve noticed a consistent pattern:

Dissociation.

Rather than feeling what’s happening in the body, many retreat into their heads. Emotions are shut down. Sensations ignored. Connection severed.

This is one of the key issues we work on because if we are dissociated we don’t lead very well.

• Dissociation means a lack of emotional intelligence so we struggle to empathise with those we lead.
• Our communication is poor because it lacks vulnerability and honesty
• People model our actions - if we are pushing through burnout - they will follow.

That’s when the penny dropped.

Because I realised — many organisations are teaching this.

They’re calling it resilience, but it’s not.

What’s often sold as “resilience” is actually:

• Numbing your emotions
• Pushing through exhaustion
• Tolerating dysfunction
• Ignoring your burnout

This isn’t strength. It’s dissociation.

Real resilience, according to leading researchers, looks very different:

• Acknowledging stress — and honouring it
• Feeling your emotions — without being overwhelmed
• Rest — knowing when and how to recover
• Community — staying connected to yourself and others
• Psychological safety — feeling free to be you, not just a performer

If we don’t shift how we define resilience, the consequences are clear:

• More burnout
• Employees feeling broken for not being able to “push through”
• Cultures where emotion is pathologised rather than held
• A leadership style rooted in blame, not responsibility

It’s time to reframe resilience — not as stoicism, but as compassion in action.

Because when leaders model true resilience, workplaces heal.
And when workplaces heal, people thrive.

LeadershipDevelopment #WorkplaceWellbeing #EmotionalIntelligence #ResilientLeadership #CorporateCulture #PsychologicalSafety #AuthenticLeadership #BurnoutRecovery #CompassionateLeadership #TheCompassionateExecutive

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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I spent this morning in conversation with Dr Suzanne Zeedyk of Connected Baby and producer, Simon Hinkly.

We were talking about the new screenings of #boardingoninsanity.

On 27th June in Sowerby Bridge, West Yorkshire from 6pm the film will be shown along with a Q&A with director Ben Cole and producer, Piers Cross.

And then on 28th June in Edinburgh at the Cameo Picture House at 2.30pm - 4.30pm.

Doors open 2pm.

Suzanne and Connected Baby will be co-hosting the event.

The Q&A panel will include Suzanne, Alex Renton, Morag Edwards, Ben Cole and Piers Cross. Another guest to be announced.

To buy tickets for Edinburgh: https://connectedbaby.net/event/scottish-premiere-of-boarding-on-insanity/

And for tickets for Sowerby Bridge in West Yorkshire: https://www.tickettailor.com/events/soulwellnesshub1/1712713

I also talk about going back to my old boarding school last week.

Take care,

Piers

boardingschooltrauma #trauma #drgabormate #gabormate #boardingschoolsyndrome #boardingschool#aces

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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Marc Azoulay is the founder of Men’s Therapy Online, a community and healing hub for men who want to get back on their feet or take their lives to the next level. With the help of his team of licensed clinicians he provides ongoing men’s groups, individual counselling, and powerful wilderness retreats to his members. He has a background in psychoanalysis, neuroscience, and Buddhism.

Key topics Marc discusses:

• I would love for you to share how you got into the work you now do?
• What is the current situation regarding modern masculinity? What is going on?
• There have been concerns over the past few years that men are struggling mentally. Could you please speak to men's mental health?
• What are some of the best personal growth tools that you have found for mental health?
• Why Therapy Fails Men (and How to Fix It)
• The Importance of Mentorship, Community & Ritual for Men
• How Masculinity Needs to Evolve
• The importance of grief work for men
• His experiences of Buddhism
• If you are woman listening to this, what can you do to support a man you know to start to heal?

For more information: https://menstherapy.online/

mentalhealth #mensmentalhealth #whytherapyfailsmen

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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This Friday I am going back to my old boarding school for a day to remember the survivors of child sexual abuse at the school.

Today I wanted to share some thoughts. What am I feeling? What will be happening?

Last Friday I went to Joy Schaverien's funeral in London. I share some of my experiences.

And finally we have two screenings and Q&A's for the documentary, Boarding On Insanity.

First is in Sowerby Bridge, West Yorkshire 27th June 6.30pm https://www.tickettailor.com/events/soulwellnesshub1/1712713

And the second is in Edinburgh at the Cameo Cinema on 28th June at 2pm.

Tickets to follow.

Here is last week's podcast talking about sexual abuse in a New Zealand boarding school: https://youtu.be/vFuQANOr5HM

And this week's podcast: https://youtu.be/HU5yHHyXYQU #boardingschoolsyndrome

boardingschool #joyschaverien #boardingoninsanity

Take care, Piers

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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PLEASE NOTE: We talk about sexual abuse in this episode which some viewers may find triggering.

Mark Staufer is an experienced ghostwriter and copywriter with a passion for helping clients tell their stories authentically and powerfully. He specializes in preserving personal legacies, organizing complex life stories and crafting engaging narratives. He is also the writer of The Lost Boys of Dilworth, TVNZ, a prime time docu-drama, which recounts Mark's own experiences at the notorious New Zealand boarding school during the 1970s.

1. Could you please share some of your journey. What was the catalyst to writing The Lost Boys of Dilworth?
2. Areas to talk about:
3. Mum saying, “If you really hate it, I promise you can come home.”
4. Feeling terror at the school
5. School: “most emotional experience I've ever had.”
6. Dorm: constantly watched
7. Cold/ A lot of crying – sobbing at night/ Dorm raid – beatings – becoming pretty fearful.
8. Bullying ever present
9. Like Lord of the Flies
10. Punishments – cold baths in front of the teachers. - 16m
11. Attempted suicide – no one's got your back – no one to go to 19m
12. No where to escape from pain and violence
13. It felt like a prison – island of hostility and violence - 20m
14. French leave – running away – sat under a bridge
15. 25m – spent a lot of time crying – sympathetic ears didn't exist
16. Being sent to Coventry – no one is allowed to talk to you – a ghost – no one acknowledges you.
17. Mrs Morgan – kind teacher - “If you couldn't control the children, there was something wrong with you.” “No kindness at the school.”
18. Leave day – sense of dread
19. Grooming – train tracks – praying together – coming out of tutors late at night
20. 8 paedophiles at Dilworth – Mark sexually abused in the chapel – many boys raped – the doctor knew
21. Disciplined for speaking up – telling lies
22. School was a magnet for paedophiles
23. 50m - Betrayal – Mum – no way out unless expelled
24. 55m – Getting expelled age 14
25. Friend committed suicide
26. Consequences – drugs, alcohol, crime/ self-destruction/ never fixed relationship with mother

lostboysofdilworth #dilworth #nzboardingschool #boardingschoolsyndrome

To connect to him on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mark-staufer-7624b115/

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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#eq #emotionalintelligence #leadershipskills #leadershipdevelopment #vision

Today I talk about 5 reasons why emotional intelligence is important in leadership.

I talk about how you need to have emotional information in order to make good decsions.

That in order to connect to your vision and that of the company then you have to be connected to your emotions.

And that according to leadership experts, Kouzes and Posner, "love is the secret ingredient of leadership."

I also talk about relationships and inspiring others.

For this Friday's podcast with writer Mark Staufer talking about abuse in a New Zealand boarding school: https://youtu.be/vFuQANOr5HM

And last Friday's podcast with Dr Robin Youngson talking about his experiences of the medical system and its similarities to boarding: https://youtu.be/GNQHj6rKUZg

Take care, Piers

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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Is the experience of being in a hospital like boarding school?

Retired medical doctor, Dr Robin Youngson, talks about the similarities between hospitals and boarding school.

These include:

➡️ Bullying

➡️ Stripped of your clothes and identity and given a uniform

➡️ Given dreadful food at fixed times

➡️ Arbitary rules and regulations

➡️ Loss of all privacy

➡️ Sleep in shared dormitories

➡️ Shared toilets

➡️ The person in charge is matron

A fascinating conversation looking at the old model and how Dr Youngson created a new hospital system in New Zealand with amazing results.

https://youtu.be/GNQHj6rKUZg

#medicalsystem #hospital #bullying #boardingschool #havening

Dr Robin Youngson, is a Certified Havening Practitioner and Trainer, and is a recently retired Anaesthetic Specialist with a long career in the public health service in the UK and New Zealand. He works full time as a trauma therapist and trainer helping people transform their lives and careers. He is also the author of the book, The Science of Miracles.

1. I would love for you to share some of your journey. What drew you to write your book, The Science of Miracle?
2. You recently wrote an article about being “a loving but emotionally incompetent man.” Could you please explain what you mean?
3. What were your boarding school experiences like?
4. Could you please speak about your experiences of being a medical doctor in the UK?
5. What is compassionate healthcare?
6. What made you leave the medical system?
7. Could you please talk us through the work you do now and the Havening technique?
8. Other areas to talk about:
9. Bullying
10. Abandonment
11. The healing journey from childhood trauma
12. Dissociation
13. Humiliation

For more information about Robin's work please visit: https://robinyoungson.com/

Or to buy his book: https://amzn.eu/d/4hg6xRl

The short film documentary about his work and the amazing results of Havening was just released yesterday. You can view it here: https://vimeo.com/1084078465

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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Some sad news... one of the leading voices in the Boarding School Syndrome world, Prof Joy Schaverien, died last week.

She was such a caring, compassionate and wise woman.

I found her to be so supportive of the work I and many others did including the documentary, Boarding On Insanity, my book and podcast.

Today I talk about some of her teachings, and some of our meetings and interviews.

Thank you for all that you brought to the world.

Please find below an interview I did with her 4 years ago.

https://youtu.be/dPn0TtWF99E

And a link to her book Boarding School Syndrome: https://amzn.eu/d/0jy2534 #joyschaverien #boardingschool #boardingschoolsyndrome

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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Last week in the local UK elections the Conservatives did really poorly losing hundreds of seats.

In the words of former Tory minister, Rory Stewart, is the Tory party collapsing?

Today I wanted to discuss this and see what links we could draw to boarding school.

With such high numbers of the Tory party being educated in Public Schools could their education be impacting their leadership?

Take care, Piers

torycollapse #tories #boardingschool #boardingoninsanity

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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David Farrell was born in Africa. His writing reflects his life experiences on three continents in his favourite genres of literary fiction, coming of age sagas, and non-fiction.

Having led for over half a century, he now possesses a deep fascination for human behaviours.

He lives in New Zealand, with his lifelong partner where he is writing his third and fourth novels.

1. I would love to hear some of your life story. What drew you to writing, Chameleon?
2. What was growing up in Africa like?
3. Could you please talk about your boarding school experiences in Rhodesia?
4. It sounds like Southern Africa was not very safe at that time. How was being in a boarding school?
5. How did you cope with boarding school?
6. In what ways do you feel British boarding schools are similar or not from Southern African ones?
7. Other areas to talk about:
8. Colonialism
9. Fagging P.61
10. Bullying
11. Punishment for breaking the rules P.76
12. Soccer Vs Rugby at BS
13. Food “odd hunk of indistinguishable gristle.” P.28/ No food for the end of the table P.38
14. The first night - “horrors” P.31
15. Emotions “I dashed away a tear and pulled myself together.” P.38
16. “The English PS system envied the world over.” P49
17. Themba “You shouldn't be away from home.” P67
18. “Sense of patriotism and cameraderie with these boys who had done nothing but insult and abuse us.” P.83
19. “I learnt to melt into the collective. Somehow it didn't seem so bad. My mind glossed over the hardships.” P.85
20. Split between sibling who stays at home. “I'm a visitor in my home.” P.88
21. Butterflies before going back to school. P.95
22. Lifelong games of burying the self P.118
23. “Those who control and restrict are themselves controlled and restricted.” P119
24. Always moving - 6th town age 13. P.143
25. Members of the opposite sex viewed as “curious sect with strange behaviours and ideals.” P160

For more information please visit: LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/davemfarrell/

Amazon: https://amzn.eu/d/beXcndK

boardingschool #africanboardingschool #internationalboardingschool #zimbabwe

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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I was listening to Daniel Goleman, the author of #emotionalintelligence yesterday.

In the video: https://youtu.be/-qmLoJ7-A80?si=YuawRPJC0iqlnwli he shares that IQ/ cognitive abilities might well be replaced by AI.

But EQ or emotional intelligence is a human skill and cannot be replaced.

Emotional intelligence will be the skill of the future.

But as boarding schools only seem to teach IQ and have little regard for emotions will they become obsolete?

Today I quote from ex-boarders like Kate Middleton, Princess of Wales, Bear Grylls, Tony Blair about how emotions were dealt with at school.

I also share some insights from David Farrell about his experiences in an African boarding school: https://youtu.be/zGgfQ_5mUAw

eq #iq #boardingschoolsyndrome #ai

Take care, Piers

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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tck #thirdculturekids #girlsboardingschool #boardingschoolsyndrome

1. What is a third culture kid (TCK)
2. I would love for you to share what drew you both to create this book about women's experiences boarding school and being Third Culture Kids?
3. Could you please speak to how many of the women missed their adopted homelands and how much this negatively impacted their impressions of the UK?
4. Could you please talk about the research for how children have a very sensory response to place which impacts how they respond to new geographies for the rest of their lives?
5. What was the sensory difference between their homes and boarding school?
6. In particular, we might like to chat about the following if that works for you:
7. Our stories – similarities and differences – both TCK – Nicky mercantile, Linda missionary.
8. Writing a book about women’s experiences by women was important to us both. Less has been written about this and some of the books about women have had less traction in the media than those written by and about men. All but one of our participants identify as women. Being different is not safe at BS. Different ‘rules’ for men and women – binaries – impossible to ‘be’ otherwise.
9. Women in our book felt growing up in a BS was isolating and conformist – either just treated like a bloke in skirts (with no discussion of women’s bodily functions or needs, or, raised to be “young ladies” – Joy Schaverien’s comment on this is that men go to BS to learn to serve their country, while women are taught to serve men.
10. Shame used as a tool of control – probably reinforced discomfort in our skin and shame about our bodies – constantly ‘on show’ and not it a good way. Eg headmaster who ‘supervised’ showers – female staff often not in positions of power and are also constrained/disadvantaged by patriarchal structures.
11. Poisonous pedagogy – designed to break the child’s will – often early (first afternoon, first night, first meal) and public – so everyone saw the shame.

Nicky Moxey, an ex-boarder, originally spent 33 years as a project manager and Agile coach. She is retraining as an integrative counsellor and intends to work with boarding school survivors after she qualifies.

Linda Devereux is a third culture kid with more than 40 years of teaching experience in schools and universities. Linda is an Adjunct Research Fellow at Charles Sturt University, Australia, where she researches and publishes in the fields of transcultural childhoods, life narrative, boarding school, and the transition to university.

To buy the book: https://amzn.eu/d/1yXj4rn

Or :https://www.routledge.com/Exploring-Boarding-School-Challenges-for-Women-and-Third-Culture-Kids-Worlds-Away-from-Home/Moxey-Devereux/p/book/9781032876313

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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Today I draw upon the works of James O'Brien and David Cameron to explore how when David set out on his political journey he wanted to support families.

Why then did he do the opposite and make huge welfare cuts and bring in the austerity measures.

I look at the psychology of why this might be and draw upon Dr Gabor Mate and Nick Duffell to explore this.

For the documentary Boarding on Insanity: https://www.boardingoninsanity.com/ For the Observer article: https://www.theguardian.com/education/2025/apr/20/breaking-our-spirits-was-the-plan-the-lifelong-impact-of-having-gone-to-boarding-school For the Mumsnet article: https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/5319413-lifelong-impact-of-going-to-boarding-school

Take care, Piers

boardingoninsanity #davidcameron #drgabormate #austerity

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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#boardingoninsanity #boardingschoolsyndrome #emotionalintelligence #gabormaté #attachmenttheory

Boarding On Insanity Relaunches On Saturday | National News Coverage Sunday

To join the waiting list for the documentary: https://www.boardingoninsanity.com/

And to read the newspaper article from 20th April here: https://www.theguardian.com/theobserver/magazine

Take care, Piers

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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Today I talk about being the sibling, brother or sister of a boarding school survivor.

What might have been the impact on you of having your sibling being separated from you and put into a boarding school?

Here I explore some of the psychology of the breaking of attachment and the rupture that the siblings must have felt.

Beliefs along the lines of: "there must be something wrong with me" "I am not special" might arise in the psyche.

The boarder will not have been able to share their experiences and due to the perception that boarding schools are a privilege the child left at home might think there is something wrong with them. Why am I not privileged?

Some reflections and thoughts following a great question.

Take care,

Piers

siblings #boardingschoolsurvivor #rupture #attachmenttheory

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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On the podcast today I am speaking with Dr. Bradley Nelson, veteran holistic physician and author of the bestselling book, "The Emotion Code," to discuss healing from trauma. He will share how to use energy healing practices such as The Emotion Code® and The Body Code® to identify and resolve emotional baggage that may be harming your health and relationships or otherwise holding you back in life.

Dr. Brad has trained and certified more than 12,000 Emotion Code practitioners in 80 countries, teaching them how to identify and release trapped emotions, unresolved feelings from traumatic and difficult experiences that harm health and relationships.

“Traumatic and difficult events from the past can leave us with unresolved emotional energy in the form of trapped emotions — negative energies that can literally become trapped within,” Dr. Brad says.

Learning to identify and release trapped emotions "can allow us to improve our health and relationships, move forward from negative experiences, and generally feel more freedom and happiness in our lives."

Some topics Dr. Brad can discuss that might be particularly appropriate for your show include:

• Overcoming Past Trauma With Future Medicine — When emotions are buried, they often resurface in the form of sadness, worry or physical discomfort. Dr. Brad shares how he helps people uncover emotional wounds and find lasting relief.

• Echoing Across Generations: How Emotions Can Be Inherited – Dr. Brad explains how people can inherit emotions from parents, grandparents, and – through DNA – even earlier generations.

• Is There a Wall Around Your Heart? – When people are deeply hurt, they often experience an inability to trust, give and receive love, and establish meaningful relationships.

• The Emotional Roots of Sadness, Anxiety and Loneliness Loneliness raises the risk of stroke and heart disease and contributes to depression, anxiety, addiction, and other health problems, research indicates.

• Energy Healing Breakthroughs Live — In live broadcasts, Dr. Brad demonstrates how people can experience dramatic relief from the emotional causes of discomfort and illness.

See some of Dr. Brad's recent media appearances here: https://drbradleynelson.onlinepresskit247.com/media-coverage.html

About Dr. Bradley Nelson: Veteran holistic physician Dr. Bradley Nelson (D.C., ret.) is one of the world’s foremost experts on natural methods of achieving wellness. He is the CEO of Discover Healing, author of the bestselling book, "The Emotion Code," and creator of the Emotion Code, the Body Code and the Belief Code. His latest book is “The Body Code: Unlocking Your Body's Ability to Heal Itself” (2023, St. Martin’s Press). For more information and a free Emotion Code Starter Kit, visit EmotionCodeGift.com (https://discoverhealing.com/the-emotion-code-starter-kit/)

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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Last week a subscriber asked me about writing a book about my experiences of grief and death since the passing of my wife 6 weeks ago.

So today I wanted to share a few reflections about what I have learned since her death on 9th February 2025.

What have I learned?

What helps the grieving process?

What are the things that have helped me the most?

grief #death #dying #crying #sadness

Take care,

Piers

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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Today I share some reflections about how the launch for our new documentary about boarding school is going.

We ask the question: "Are our leaders traumatised?"

I also talk about my wife's funeral which took place on Monday.

I really honour all her love, and support in getting the film out there and all that she gave me throughout our time together.

To download the film and the extras: https://www.boardingoninsanity.com/

Take care, Piers

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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To join the webinars and to receive the recordings please visit here: https://www.boardingoninsanity.com/

The film is due for release on the 15th March at midday and will stay live for one week.

boardingoninsanity #boardingschoolsyndrome #childhoodtrauma #drgabormate

Take care,

Piers

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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Thank you so much to everyone who came to the London premiere of the new documentary Boarding On Insanity.

To register for the live webinars please put your name in here: https://www.boardingoninsanity.com/

Webinars are on 5th, 10th and 13th March.

To join you will need to put your name on the email list and you will be sent the link to the webinar.

These will be recorded so those on the email list will receive the recordings.

Take care, Piers

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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Today I am speaking with psychotherapist, Toby Ingham, about his new book, A Guilty Victim. A Guilty Victim tells the true story of an English boy’s recovery from grooming and sexual abuse at a Catholic boarding school in Ireland in the 1970s. It is a contemporary account of psychotherapy with an adult survivor, written with the client’s full consent. A big thank you to Chris Bratich of Seen and Heard for connecting us.

Toby Ingham is a BPC & UKCP registered psychotherapist & supervisor, member of The British Psychotherapy Foundation, The Association of Independent Psychotherapists, and BAPPS. Former Clinical Director of South Bucks Counselling (2019-2023). He has 25 years of experience working with people, dealing with depression, low mood, anxiety states, trauma, bereavement, addictions, and emotional instability. Before setting up his psychotherapy practice in Oxford, he trained in NHS at St Barts’ Hospital, and at the Homerton Hospital in London. He is a former staff psychotherapist at Nightingale Hospital and trained at Promis Addiction Centre and Age Concern.

Questions for Toby:

1. I would love for you to share some of your journey. What lead you into the work you now do?
2. Could you please talk about your book, A Guilty Victim? What drew you to write it?
3. What do you feel is different about this book from other boarding school and therapeutic books?
4. What happened to your client at school?
5. How did your client learn to cope? Do you feel that this process of coping is good for the psyche. If yes, why? If not, why not?
6. Why is it that we, as ex-boarders struggle to fit in outside of school? Both as children and as adults? (P.88)
7. And you mention that your client would try and take responsibility for the mood in the house? (P.88). Why do we do that as children?
8. Where there any specific symptoms of his trauma that showed up in adult life?
9. What do you feel makes the psychotherapeutic relationship so important in healing boarding school and childhood trauma wounds?
10. What changes did you see in your client as he moved through the therapeutic process with you?
11. What did you learn over the years that you worked with your client?
12. What do you feel about boarding schools?
13. How do people learn more about your work?

childhoodtrauma#boardingschoolsyndrome#grooming#traumarecovery

To find out more about Toby's work please visit: www.tobyingham.com

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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Today I talk about two important events.

One is my wife, Michelle Dawn Silcox's, funeral.

And the other is the Boarding On Insanity documentary premiere in 3 days time, 1st March in London: https://www.riocinema.org.uk/movie/boarding-on-insanity-qa/

I also talk about the webinars starting on the 5th March with special guests, Prof Joy Schaverien, Dr Suzanne Zeedyk and Dr Warren Larkin.

And then on the 10th March we will be interviewing Zena Me, Martin Lloyd-Elliott and Nick Duffell.

To register for those events you can do so here: https://www.boardingoninsanity.com/

Thanks for all your support and kind words.

See you soon, Piers

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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Myles Katz is a pioneer in the field of legal psychedelics, blending personal experience with professional innovation to advance mental health and personal transformation. As the founder and executive director of Confluence Retreats, he leads immersive, multi-day psilocybin retreats in Oregon’s Cascade-Siskiyou National Monument. These retreats offer a legal, structured, and profoundly transformative experience, tailored for individuals seeking personal growth, emotional breakthroughs, and spiritual development in a safe and nurturing environment.

Questions for Myles:

1. I would love for you to share some of your journey. How did you get into the work you now do?
2. Could you please talk about some of the research from University College London about psilocybin? What did they find out?
3. Many people are curious but hesitant about psychedelics. What would you say to someone who is nervous about taking that first step?
4. You often talk about moving from “functioning to flourishing.” Can you share how psychedelics help individuals make that transition?
5. What role does integration—such as therapy, mindfulness, or community—play in maximizing the benefits of a psychedelic experience?
6. Psychedelics are often associated with mental health treatments. How do you see their role expanding beyond mental health into personal growth and creativity?
7. What common misconceptions about psychedelics would you like to address, especially for people who may still view them through a stigmatized lens?
8. What advice would you give to someone considering a psychedelic retreat for personal or spiritual development, and how can they prepare for the experience?
9. How do you balance honoring indigenous traditions while offering a modern and legal psychedelic experience at your retreats?
10. How do people find out more about your work?

To find out more about Myles' work: https://www.confluenceretreats.org/

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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A few reflections about the death of my wife.

How has the last week been?

I share some of my grief.

And I talk about the documentary premiere in 10 days time in London at the Rio in Dalston: https://www.riocinema.org.uk/movie/boarding-on-insanity-qa/

We have decided to go ahead with the premiere as my wife was so supportive of the film.

Take care,

Piers

boardingoninsanity #grief #loss #boardingschoolsyndrome

https://www.riocinema.org.uk/movie/boarding-on-insanity-qa/

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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What is the importance of emotional intelligence in leaders?

And why do so many leaders feel isolated, lonely and struggling with burn out?

Today, Pete Hunt, founder of Monumental, a network for growth focused leaders talks about his boarding school experiences.

What was the legacy he left boarding school with?

And how did it affect him as a leader?

An authentic and heart-felt conversation.

Pete Hunt is a leading men's group facilitator, podcast host and meditation teacher. He is also the founder of Monumental, which is a network for growth focused leaders.

Questions for Pete:

1. I would love for you to share some of your journey. How did you get into the work you now do?
2. What were your experiences like at boarding school? How did those experiences impact you as an adult?
3. What do you see and hear in men in who were being educated in Boarding Schools in the 1980’s and 90’s?
4. Could you please speak about the work you do with Monumental? What do you do?
5. What is the key issue with men's mental health at the moment? What can we start to do to change this?
6. Other areas to talk about:
   1. The importance of community and connection
   2. Isolation
   3. Loneliness
   4. Accountability
   5. Emotional intelligence
   6. Bullying
7. How do people find more about your work?

To find out more about Pete's work please visit: https://petehunt.com/ or www.monumental.global

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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Today I share some really sad news.

On Sunday 9th February my wife died.

I have been feeling so sad.

She was such a wonderful lady.

So kind, loving and caring.

Without her the film and my work would not exist.

Thank you Michelle. Here is the interview I did with her: https://youtu.be/fKs1A_4xw7A

Blessings, Piers

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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Ben Cole is a film director, storyteller, cinematographer and all round filmmaker. His films include 1 Giant Leap with Robbie Williams and Time of The Sixth Sun.

Questions for Ben:

1. I would love for you to share some of your journey. How did you get into the work you now do?
2. What is the film Boarding On Insanity about?
3. What drew you to make it?
4. Please share your journey of making the film. How was it for you?
5. What were some of the highs in making this film?
6. What were some of the lows?
7. Could you please talk about the movement around boarding schools as a whole?
8. What's the vision of the film moving forward?
9. How can people support the release of the film? When is it coming out?
10. What is your call to action?
11. How do people find more about your work?

To find out more about Ben new film please visit: https://boardingoninsanity.com/

And to watch the trailer: https://youtu.be/vLeAj5TiqU4

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

View Details

London Premiere Boarding On Insanity 1st March 1.30pm | What Is Happening? | Piers Cross

To buy tickets here: https://www.riocinema.org.uk/movie/boarding-on-insanity-qa/

Website will go live on Thursday 06.02.25: http://www.boardingoninsanity.com/

To join the launch waiting list: https://www.piers-cross.com/boarding-school-film

#boardingoninsanity #boardingschoolsyndrome #boardingschool #premiere

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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Did many people feel homesick at boarding school?

Reading the biographies of Bear Grylls, Minnie Driver, Jeremy Paxman, Roald Dahl we can see that they all suffered with homesickness.

Today I also explore the work of Joy Schaverien in Boarding School Syndrome where she says, "Homesickness has been reframed as bereavement."

Are we really bereaved rather than homesick?

Take care,

Piers

boardingschool #homesickness #bereavement #beargrylls

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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Drawing on the work of Kouzes and Posner and their excellent book, The Leadership Challenge, what are the 5 principles of a great leader?

I discuss all 5 qualities and traits while linking that in to the UK.

Why is it that we have so few good leaders in the UK?

Over the past few decades there have been consistently poor leaders in charge.

Today I talk about why I feel this is.

I draw upon the work of Oliver Bullough and Butler to The World, and Warren Bennis' On Becoming a Leader.

leadership #greatleaders #Ukleaders

Take care,

Piers

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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How can we heal childhood trauma if we have tried many different therapies and nothing has worked?

Today I am speaking with Siamon Emery, a globally experienced mentor talking about his journey through childhood trauma and recovery.

Growing up with parents who were addicts meant that he lived through a lot of trauma.

This impacted him in relationships, at work and mentally.

Today he shares his fascinating journey of recovery - the practices he uses like yoga, somatic experiencing and how we too can start to regulate our nervous systems.

Siamon Emery is a globally experienced mentor specializing in trauma recovery, nervous system regulation, and guiding high-performing entrepreneurs and leaders through personal and professional growth. His approach draws from a unique blend of lived experience, spiritual practice, and scientific study, shaped by years of immersing himself in diverse cultures and healing modalities across Costa Rica, India, and Australia.

Questions for Siamon:

1. I would love for you to share some of your journey. How did you get into the work you now do?
2. What are some of the most common self-sabotaging patterns you see in high achievers, and why are they so difficult to overcome?
3. How does unresolved trauma manifest in professional settings, and what can leaders do to address these hidden barriers?
4. Can you explain the connection between nervous system regulation and decision-making in high-pressure environments like entrepreneurship or leadership?
5. What role does fear play in keeping people stuck, even when they’re consciously trying to grow or expand their business or personal life?
6. You often mention the importance of rewiring the nervous system—what practical steps can someone take to start this process?
7. How did your personal journey and experiences with trauma shape the way you coach and mentor others today?
8. What advice do you give to entrepreneurs or leaders who feel overwhelmed or paralyzed when making high-stakes decisions?
9. For people who feel like they’ve tried everything—therapy, coaching, spiritual practices—what makes your approach different?
10. How can someone tell if they are operating from a place of fear or if they are genuinely making the right decision to stay within their comfort zone?
11. You work at the intersection of spirituality and science. How do you blend the two in your mentorship and healing practices, and why do you think this balance is so effective?
12. How do people find out more about your work?

For more information please visit: https://siamonemery.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/siamon.emery/

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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The new documentary, Boarding On Insanity featuring many experts including Dr Gabor Mate, Dr Suzanne Zeedyk, Nick Duffell and Prof Joy Schaverien is nearing completion

https://www.piers-cross.com/boarding-school-film

The film explores the question, Are our leaders traumatised?

And the trauma? Boarding school.

Many of the world's leading business and political figures have attended these schools from Mark Zuckerberg to Donald Trump and from Richard Branson to Boris Johnson.

What is the impact of going to these schools?

We explore the stories of those who went to boarding school and ask experts what the impact might be on our leaders.

If you would like to be notified of the film release please do join our email list here: https://www.piers-cross.com/boarding-school-film

Any questions please do comment below.

boardingschool #boardingoninsanity #gabormate

Take care,

Piers

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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What is attachment theory? And how does your attachment style affect your time at boarding school?

In a fascinating conversation, leading attachment expert, Anne Power, talks about the four attachment styles of secure, avoidant, anxious ambivalent and disorganized.

What are their experiences of boarding school like? Does the securely attached child do well?

Does everyone come out of boarding school with an avoidant attachment?

Anne Power, is a couple counsellor and has taught psychotherapy and supervision on university courses in London. She has published many academic papers on attachment and two books.

She started her counselling work thirty years ago. Her initial training was as a psychoanalytic psychotherapist with a special interest in attachment theory. Later she trained in a systemic model and this integration – of attachment and systemic thinking - matches with EFT (Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy) which is the model in which she is now developing her practice.

Annie posts on Instagram most days with supportive ideas about relationships - that's at 'and_attachment' Her TEDx talk provides a brief overview of attachment theory and has over 600k views.

Some of the questions and areas interest:

1. I would love for you to share some of your journey. How did you arrive at doing what you do now?
2. Would you please introduce us to attachment theory. What is it? Could you talk a little about the different forms of attachment? (p. 15)
3. Could you please speak to how attachment theory relates to relationships? Why does connection to ourselves better equip us for relationships?
4. What happens when a child with one of the 4 attachment styles arrives at boarding school?
5. In your research will secure kids thrive at boarding schools? If not, why not? What happens to their relationship with their parents?
6. What about avoidants. How do they cope with separation from home?
7. How about ambivalents? How do they cope with boarding school?
8. What about disorganized attachment? How is boarding school for them?
9. Some other areas to talk about:
   1. Neurodivergent
   2. Learning

For more information about Anne Power please visit: https://www.contentedcouples.com/

attachmenttheory #attachment #boardingschool

Or to purchase her book: https://www.karnacbooks.com/product/contented-couples-magic-logic-or-luck/96376/?MATCH=1

And for her Instagram & Ted X Talk: https://www.instagram.com/and_attachment

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9idayJyWCWs&t=204s

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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"We live in a world where people think nothing of isolating a child from their family and peers, shaming them, punishing them, and often reducing them to tears in the name of entertainment for television shows and social media clips, all without the child's consent.

Our governments seem hell-bent on making life as difficult as possible for families, and particularly for children, the only constituents who don't get a say in their futures. " Sarah Ockwell-Smith

What is going on regarding the grooming gangs?

Here we have another cover up from the British establishment - for 25 years people have been speaking up about the grooming and rape gangs and yet very little has been done.

Here I talk about the different inquiries over the years and why they don't work.

IICSA - the inquiry into child sexual abuse spent just under £200 million and of the 20 recommendations none, I repeat none have been implemented.

Why is that we just don't seem to care about the people especially children?

I also talk about duty of care and how the duty is always to the institution and rarely the person.

Here is the BBC articles: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cy767y0y6dzo

What do you feel?

Take care, Piers

groominggangs #childsexualabuse #IICSA

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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Today I am speaking with consultant clinical psychologist, Dr Warren Larkin.

Dr Larkin is a specialist in the area of Adverse Childhood Experiences or ACES and implementing trauma-informed approaches to organisations.

Today we explore trauma. What is it?

We also talk about ACES. What are the 10 ACES and how do they link to boarding school? Could we do a study into the Adverse Childhood Experiences at boarding school?

He shares how those who have been through childhood trauma can be negatively impacted as adults and the financial cost on society

He also talks about how doing routine enquiry into ACES with patients can support survivors to heal.

Warren Larkin is a consultant clinical psychologist who prior to founding Warren Larkin Associates in 2017, spent 24 years in the NHS, working predominantly with individuals and families experiencing serious mental health difficulties.

Warren is currently co-leading the implementation of trauma informed approaches in 100 secondary schools in England, which is being evaluated by means of a randomised controlled trial funded by the Youth Endowment Fund and the Home Office.

Questions for Warren:

1. I would love for you to share some of your journey. How did you get into the work you now do?
2. Could you please speak to Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACES)? What are they and how do ACES impact us both as adults and children?
3. What are the 10 different ACES?
4. What are some of the outcomes of ACES later in life?
5. I would love for you to speak to routine enquiry about adversity.
6. Some of the studies you have been involved in really fascinate me. The study about the healthcare cost of sexual abuse survivors is astonishing. Could you please talk to that?
7. And could you please speak to the 100 school study into what the right trauma informed support and interventions can do for the children?
8. What is trauma-informed practice?
9. How do we improve educational setting to be more trauma informed?
10. Boarding school and ACES. I would love for us to discuss boarding schools and ACES and the overlap.
11. Emotional health. What is an emotional health intervention? What would that look like in practice?
12. Is there a link between childhood trauma and psychosis? If yes, could you please talk to that.
13. How do people find out more about your work?

ACEs #AdverseChildhoodExperiences #Childhoodtrauma

To get in touch with Dr Larkin or to learn more please visit: https://warrenlarkinassociates.co.uk/

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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In 1993 three months after I left boarding school I went to work as an assitant housemaster and a teaching assistant at a boarding school in Australia.

Today I talk about the experience.

What was it like?

If I hated boarding school so much why did I go and work in another boarding school?

I explore institutionalisation and I share not being liked, being called names and caning among other things.

Take care, Piers

#boardingschool #teaching #teacher

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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How does drama therapy help people who have been through trauma?

And what about people in prisons? How does drama help those struggling with addictions or spending time incarcerated?

Today I am speaking with Mark MacNicol who has worked with over 5,000 people through his workshops and 1-1 work.

We talk about drama therapy and its benefits. And he explores how he uses AI for self-development.

Thank you Mark.

Mark MacNicol is an accomplished mind coach, writer, and creator of _Anonymous Drama_, a unique form of drama therapy designed for individuals who typically have no interest in drama or therapy. With a background in writing for screen and theatre, Mark holds a Master’s degree in Television Drama Writing. His work is particularly focused on using the arts to support vulnerable and marginalized communities, especially within the recovery and justice sectors.

Questions for Mark:

1. I would love for you to share some of your journey. How did you get into the work you now do?
2. I would love for you to talk about Anonymous Drama. What is it and how does it help process trauma?
3. How did your own personal journey shape the development of Anonymous Drama?
4. Could you please talk about addiction and recovery. What is the power of creative expression and self-awareness in addressing addiction?
5. What are some of the innovative approaches to rehabilitation in the justice system?
6. I would love for you to talk about mental health. What have you found to be the most effective way of facing and healing mental conditions?
7. Could you please talk about mental health and creativity? Why do these seem to work so well together?
8. What have been some of the challenges in getting this message out there into rehab centres and prisons?
9. What link to trauma have you found in your work to childhood trauma?
10. What is the importance of safety and support in your work?

To find out more about Mark: https://www.youtube.com/@markmacnicol

His book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/stores/Mark-MacNicol/author/B005FCH3KS?ref=dbs_a_mng_rwt_scns_share&isDramIntegrated=true&shoppingPortalEnabled=true

For LinkedIn:https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmacnicol?utm_source=share&utm_campaign=share_via&utm_content=profile&utm_medium=ios_app

Media Profile: https://podfol.io/profile/mark-macnicol

Website: www.markmacnicol.com

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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Food at Boarding School | Freddie Mercury "The World's Worst" Food | Piers Cross

What was food like at boarding school?

And how did that impact us as adults?

Today I draw upon the biography of Freddie Mercury who went to boarding school in India from 8 through to 16.

From Leslie-Ann Jones' biography of Freddie, Love of My Life, she shares some of his stories from his boarding school time.

She shares the story of one of Freddie's girlfriends in the girls' section of Freddie's school: “Oh my goodness, the food at my school was God-awful. And at St Peter's (Freddie's school) it was even worse. The 'world's worst', Bucky (Freddie's nickname at school) used to say. We had no choice but to eat it, we would have starved otherwise. There was nothing else.”

I also talk about David Cameron who shares in his autobiography, “The food was spartan. I lost a stone in weight.”

I share stories from Eddie Izzard and how he struggled with food at boarding school.

And I also share some of my diary entries from my time at boarding school and what I thought of the food.

What about you? What was your food like at boarding school?

food #freddiemercury #boardingschool #neglect

Take care,

Piers

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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In this video I reference an article from the Times by Marina and Ben Fogle: https://archive.ph/ximP5

What if you child really wants to go to boarding school?

What do you need to know as a parent?

boardingschool #boardingschoolsyndrome

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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Why does the British establishment seem so addicted to cover up?

In 2024 alone we have seen the Post Office, Mohammed al Fayed, NHS and the blood scandal, Justin Welby and the Church involved in cover-ups.

Why do we cover up so much in the UK?

Today I explore some of the historical cover ups in British history from the Boer War to the Mau Mau rebellion in Kenya and the British cover up in India during partition.

I also talk about the psychology of why we cover up.

And I link it to power and money.

I draw upon the work of Caroline Elkins and the Legacy of Violence, Prof Joy Schaverien and Boarding School Syndrome, CG Jung and Oliver Bullough's Butler to The World.

Take care, Piers

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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Liz Entin is an entrepreneur living in NYC and LA. She originally began her career in fashion in both New York and London and now is the founder of Why Get Wasted, a company that helps events, businesses, fashion shows, conferences, and any gathering eliminate waste and be climate friendly. (www.whygetwasted.com)

She is also author and podcast host of WTF Just Happened?! which, inspired by a loss, examines scientific evidence of spirituality and an afterlife from a non-woo perspective. (www.wtfjusthappened.net)

Liz grew up in NYC, where she was sent to the “top” NYC private (the equivalent of what is called public in the UK) schools, from kindergarten through high school (5 - 18 years old). She always thought of her time there as brutal and knew she was unhappy, but believed the schools were something to get through, in exchange for the huge payoff at the end. Recently, as podcasts on trauma and cults have become popular, discovering Charles Spencer's book, and this podcast, she has realized how traumatic they were and understood the lifelong damage they caused that she is now working to overcome. She has also come to realize how the NYC private schools idealize and base themselves on the British boarding schools.. She is in the middle of writing a book on her time in these schools titled The Marshmallow Castle - The false promises of the best schools. (www.marshmallowcastle.com / www.schooltrauma.com. Instagram: @the_marshmallow_castle)

10 Questions / Talking Points

1 - Specifics I related to from reading Charles Spencer's book.

2 - These schools are like cults.

3 - Politicians and leaders attend these schools, are damaged, as well as unexposed to the needs of the average person and then bring this lack of empathy and trauma to the country

4 - Direct imitation of British accents (unintentionally) and discussing how we are getting as good an education as anyone who attends Eton.

5 - Combination of very strict rules, that are meaningless, and complete lawlessness when it comes to cruelty , safety, bullying. Shaming for breaking rules.

6 - Insulation from the real world, learning nothing that is useful in the real world, and insulation from other social classes.

7 - As a girl, femininity was looked down upon

8 - Gaslighting. Constantly being told how lucky you are to attend. A gaslighting of you and your parents from the school and society.

9 - Constantly feeling as if you have to be accomplishing something. Being taught to always strive and not to listen to your needs or body. You are doing something wrong if you are not achieving at every second.

10 - The good of the school and image of the school comes above all else. Treated as a “class traitor” for saying something negative.

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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What happened with the church last week?

Why did the Archbishop of Canterbury not disclose what happened with the sexual abuse?

Today I wanted to offer a hypothesis through the lens of boarding school syndrome and trauma work.

What possible reasons did Justin Welby cover up the abuse?

Today I offer 5 possible reasons that Justin Welby covered up the abuse by John Smyth at the Iwerne Trust.

And here is my first video from last week: https://youtu.be/apVMm3FG0hs

To sign up to become an Ambassador of the documentary, Boarding on Insanity: https://www.piers-cross.com/boarding-school-film

Justin Welby was a “dormitory officer” for the Iwerne Trust: https://www.theguardian.com/world/2019/aug/13/justin-welby-church-scrutiny-sadistic-christian-camp?bcmt=1

Did Justin Welby already know about John Smythe in the 1980s? https://news.sky.com/story/why-has-archbishop-of-canterbury-justin-welby-resigned-and-what-happens-next-13253198

Take care, Piers

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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Today I wanted to give an update to our documentary, Boarding on Insanity.

With the resignation of Justin Welby, who is the head of the Church of England and Archbishop of Canterbury, this is so relevant.

Justin Welby, who boarded at St Peter's School at 8 years old and then to Eton as a boy and also spent time with the Iwerne Trust where John Smyth was abusing children when he was younger.

What is the impact of having leaders who have been to boarding school in charge of big institutions and government?

Will they cover up and hide what is happening?

To sign up to become an Ambassador of the documentary, Boarding on Insanity: https://www.piers-cross.com/boarding-school-film

Justin Welby was a “dormitory officer” for the Iwerne Trust: https://www.theguardian.com/world/2019/aug/13/justin-welby-church-scrutiny-sadistic-christian-camp?bcmt=1

Did Justin Welby already know about John Smythe in the 1980s? https://news.sky.com/story/why-has-archbishop-of-canterbury-justin-welby-resigned-and-what-happens-next-13253198

Take care,

Piers

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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AEM # 115 Giles Moffat Boarding School Survivors Taking Their Schools To Court

How do you take your school to court? How do you get a prosecution for sexual and physical abuse when no one else has listened?

A fascinating conversation today with Giles Moffat about how a group of child abuse survivors took their schools to court.

Giles talks about how he connected with Nicky Campbell, the BBC DJ, who attended the same school as him.

Gradually they built a large network of survivors who managed to get not only the police but also the schools and courts to listen.

A very powerful and inspiring conversation.

Giles became a boarder at the Edinburgh Academy in 1980, where he was abused like many others.

In 2022 Giles formed the EA Survivors group with Nicky Campbell.

Today he shares his insights into effective campaigning and the power of survivor groups.

Questions for Giles:

1. I would love for you to share some of your journey. How did you get into the work you are now doing?
2. What were your boarding school experiences like?
3. How did boarding school impact you as an adult?
4. • naming perpetrators and the legalities around that (basically, go for it. We named several people in the media because of their age and have yet to receive a single legal letter in 2 years)
5. Understanding UK defamation law (I have a qualification in this)
6. Influencing prosecution (we lobbied the police and crown office and got 6 arrests in December 23)
7. The experience of giving evidence in court situations
8. The therapeutic and empowering benefits of speaking up
9. What motivates survivors when they campaign
10. How to engage with the authorities and get the best out of them.
11. Working with the media to achieve your aims.
12. Planning and strategy for survivor groups.
13. Historical cover-ups.
14. You have worked in positions of leadership. How did your boarding school education impact the way you lead?
15. Boarding school leaders: Could you please speak to those leaders who have been to boarding school. David Cameron, Boris Johnson. What do you feel about their leadership?
16. What is the work that you are doing now?

childabuse #childhoodtrauma #nickycampbell #edinburghacademy

To connect with the survivors group: https://easurvivors.info/

For Seen and Heard: https://seenheard.org.uk/

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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Today I wanted to continue the conversation about cults which Wyndham Wallace talked about in my last podcast: https://youtu.be/NYTA8dm6X6g

HereI wanted share some of the literature on cults by some of the world's leading experts on them.

What is a cult?

And what are the main characteristics of a cult?

And finally how much like a cult is a boarding school?

6 Characteristics of a Cult: https://andynaselli.com/sociological-characteristics-of-cults

What Is A Cult? https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/freedom-mind/202106/understanding-cults-the-basics

Book on Cults:: https://a.co/d/7kXgyFe

cults #boardingschool #cult #boardingschoolsyndrome

Take care,

Piers

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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Wyndham Wallace is a Berlin-based writer whose critically acclaimed first book, Lee, Myself & I – about his friendship with Lee Hazlewood, the man behind These Boots Are Made For Walking – was published in 2015.

He began his career as a music publicist in the mid 1990s, before running City Slang Records’ UK office for eight years, but now works as a music critic for, among others, Uncut and Classic Pop. He also worked as music consultant on Sebastian Schipper’s Victoria, for which composer Nils Frahm won a German Film Award, and can be seen fronting Almost Fashionable: A Film About Travis, which won the Edinburgh Film Festival Audience Award.

In 2024, he helped lead a number of victims of child sexual abuse over three decades to a public settlement with Horris Hill prep school, and he continues to campaign for justice for all those abused in private education, past and present.

Questions for Wyndham:

1. I would love for you to share some of your journey. How did you get into the work you are now doing?
2. Your own experience at Horris Hill, and how sexual abuse was the only angle that the law would accept to bring a case even though other equally appalling things took place there, leaving other victims without satisfaction
3. The broader issues of a culture that has outlived its usefulness, if it was ever useful, and its wider effects on society
4. Whether, for all their talk of safeguarding etc, schools today have genuinely learned anything from the last decade or two of abuse exposure. With new cases emerging it would appear not much has changed at all.
5. The absurdity of separating a child from its parents at a young age when it’s clearly seen abroad as seriously detrimental, even as a punishment, to a child
6. The need for mandatory reporting and how Duty Of Candour could have helped me (and other Horris Hill victims) put this largely behind us as early as 1985.
7. Your belief that what we are actually dealing with here is a cult, pure and simple. Most of the signs are there, and it takes victims years to deprogram. I believe it’s also helpful to think this way in terms of our parents, who had been similarly inculcated and are victims too, yet never receive an apology from schools (even when former pupils do)
8. The link between music and memory.
9. What is the work that you are doing now?

csa #horrishill #boardingschool #sexual abuse #boardingschoolcults

For more information please visit: http://www.wyndhamwallace.com

To purchase his first book: http://jawbonepress.com/lee-myself-i/

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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On my podcast this week I am interviewing Wyndham Wallace who is an author and music critic.

In the episode we were talking about music and how powerful it can be for healing childhood trauma.

In today's video I talk about how we store emotion in the music that we listened to at school.

Both the music that we liked and the music we didn't like.

A really fascinating exploration of music therapy to heal childhood trauma.

For the full podcast you can watch it here: https://youtu.be/NYTA8dm6X6g

Take care,

Piers

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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Today on the podcast I welcome back author and psychotherapist Rod Boothroyd as we revisit the archetype of the Sovereign, King or the Queen.

The Sovereign is the part of us that is responsible for vision, power, potency, blessing ourselves and others, and bringing order to our internal and external worlds. The King is also the part of us responsible for the spiritual side of our lives.

Today Rod goes deeper into the subject of the King archetype with the release of his new book, Finding The King Within. What are the positive aspects and what are the shadows? How do we connect to this energy in a benevolent way?

Rod Boothroyd is a counsellor, psychotherapist, a certified “Healing The Shadow” practitioner and the author of the books Warrior, Magician, Lover, King – a guide to the male archetypes updated for the 21st century and Finding The King Within.

He works with men, women and mixed groups to heal the wounds of childhood with Marianne Hill and also trains people in the art of working with the shadow and healing emotional wounds.

Some of the questions for Rod:

1. What is the King or Sovereign archetype?
2. What makes a balanced and mature King?
3. In writing the book you talk about 41 different qualities and values that a mature King embodies. What for you are 5 of the most important qualities that we need to cultivate?
4. What are the shadows of the archetypes?
5. What are the specific shadows of the King archetype?
6. I would love you to speak more about the importance of emotional intelligence in the realm of the sovereign? Why is it so important? If we don't have access to our emotions how might that affect the relationship to our sovereign?
7. “Many men today are really a kind of adolescent “boy-man”, arrested in development between boyhood and mature masculinity.”( p.7) Could you please talk to this. How do we move into mature masculinity?
8. What would you say is the key emotion of the King and why is this emotion so important for a mature male? What are some ways of embodying this emotion?
9. Could you please talk about stewardship and the connection to the sovereign archetype?
10. How do we cultivate the King - what are the steps that we can take to embody the King more fully in our lives?
11. You give 20 different ways of embodying the King energy. Which of these methods are the most relevant to today's man? If someone was to start with 5 practices what would you start them out with?

kingwarriormagicianlover #kingarchetype #rodboothroyd

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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I begin today with a heart felt quote from Minnie Driver in her book, Managing Expectations.

She talks about phoning her mother to come and pick her up.

Her mother ignores her.

So today I wanted to read through 10 biographies of well-known people and their stories of feeling like they were captive or “counting down the days like prisoners” as Bear Grylls puts it.

I share the words of John Rentoul's biography of Tony Blair where he tells the story of how he tried to run away.

I talk about how Clive Woodward, the former England Rugby manager and World Cup winner ran away 3 times from his boarding school only to be sent back each time by his father.

Other biographies include: Stephen Fry, John Peel, Roald Dahl, Christine Jack, Jack Whitehall and Jeremy Paxman.

What a fascinating subject.

captivity #prison #boardingschool

Take care,

Piers

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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Why do some of our political, business, and societal leaders seem to have such disdain and in some cases almost hatred for the everyday person?

Where might these attitudes come from?

Where does the sense of entitlement, and even looking down on those that they serve arise from?

I was reading Jeremy Paxman's autobiography A Life in Questions last night.

I came across a passage where he talks about his prep boarding school.

He sees the headmaster's son set light to the moors. Once the police come the son blames the local “teddy” boys 'who were blamed for just about everything that went wrong in the school.'

As George Orwell wrote in The Road to Wigan Pier: 'Common people seemed almost subhuman.'

In today's video I share about some of my own similar experiences at boarding school.

How we looked down upon the porters, the cleaners and saw them as less than human.

I also talk about Nick Duffell from Wounded Leaders asking: 'Could it be that the British working class as an entire group have been suffering from projective identification from the upper classes?'

'Have they been standing in for the stupid, messy, incompetent children the latter wish to distance themselves from in their own collective psyche?'

I also share some of Richard Beard's thoughts from Sad Little Men.

workingclass #disdain #leaders

Take care,

Piers

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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What is love addiction also known as limerence?

And what is intergenerational trauma? How does that pass from generation to generation?

Today I am speaking with a psychotherapist who originally trained as a medical doctor.

His speciality is working with people around relationships and limerence.

Today he shares his journey at boarding school and how he ran away, never to come back.

He also talks about his father's experiences of the Nazi concentration camps and how this trans-generational trauma was passed onto him.

He talks about how we can start to heal from love addictions.

Really fascinating. Thank you David.

Dr. David Perl originally qualified as a medical practitioner from St. Thomas’ Hospital, London in 1984. He then went on to create and develop docleaf one of the UK’s most successful crisis management consultancies.He holds qualifications in Leadership Coaching and is a qualified psychotherapist and is experienced in hypnotherapy and NLP.

Questions for Dr Perl:

1. I would love for you to share some of your journey. How did you get into the work you now do?
2. I would love for you to talk a little about your boarding school experiences. What happened?
3. I would love for you to speak to intergenerational trauma. What is it and how does it impact people?
4. Could you please speak to limerence. What is it? How is it linked to childhood trauma? How do we heal from limerence?
5. Could you please talk about relationships? What are some of the most common problems that you see when you are working with couples?
6. How do people find out more about your work?
7. Other areas to talk about:
8. Emotional benign neglect
9. Parenting and Daniel Mac
10. All trauma is relational
11. Leadership
12. Attachment theory, trauma and boarding school

To find out more about Dr Perl's work: https://themarriedtherapists.com/

Or here: https://limerence.net/

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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What was it like to go to boarding school at age 7?

And how did that impact my guest's adult life?

From addictions, to breakdown and then path of recovery to finding purpose, my guest today shares his own journey.

In today's episode I am speaking with Chris Braitch who is the director of the not for profit, Seen & Heard, which supports the emotional wellbeing of past pupils of boarding and independant schools.

He talks about his boarding school years: bullying, dissociation, and trauma.

And he shares how he recovered and how he has now found purpose in life.

A very inspiring and heart-felt episode.

Chris Braitch is a father of 3 first and foremost. He is also a 1-2-1 and organisational coach, speaker, and founding director of the not for profit Seen & Heard. Seen & Heard supports the emotional well being of ex-pupils of boarding and independent day schools, and their families. Chris has found his calling supporting others on their journey to healing and joy, utilising his diverse life experiences, and professional skills learned over a 20-year career in sales, marketing, and management at some of the world’s largest food companies.

Questions for Chris:

1. I would love for you to share some of your journey. How did you get into the work you now do?
2. I would love for you to share some of your boarding journey. What was it like?
3. Could you please share your path of healing? What things have you tried and what really worked for you?
4. You have worked with me for a couple of years. How has that experience been?
5. You are part of the charity Seen and Heard. What do you do and what is your mission?
6. You were part of the Coming Home retreat as part of the documentary. How was that for you?
7. What is next for you?
8. How do people find out more about you?

For more infromation about Seen and Heard please visit: https://seenheard.org.uk/

To find out more about Chris' one to one work: https://growthwave.uk/

childhoodtrauma #booardingschoolsyndrome #seen&heard #trauma #healingtrauma

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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Today I wanted to share some of the experiences of John F Kennedy at boarding school.

I share from his biography called Kennedy, An Unfinished Life.

Kennedy went to boarding school from age 13 to Canterbury in the US.

And then age 14 he went to Choate School.

I share his experiences of homesickness, being a rebel and being close to being expelled and having a family which had very high expectations of him.

I also talk about some of the illnesses he struggled with at boarding school.

Taken from the biography by Robert Dallek called Kennedy, An Unfiinished Life: https://amzn.eu/d/61Zn6DL

Take care, Piers

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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At just 13-years-old, Connor was burned over 90% of his body with third degree burns and given less than a 1% chance of survival after a backyard explosion. After three months in a medically induced coma, nearly two years of painful rehabilitation, and more than 100 surgeries over a decade, Connor emerged triumphantly; not only to walk again, but to live his best life.

Despite his physical and emotional trauma, Connor went on to pursue his dreams of playing Division I lacrosse and then worked as a lacrosse coach for an elite program. His deep passion for sports and coaching youth inspired him to create the “MAC Mentality”, his approach in navigating life confidently and authentically. Connor is now a motivational speaker and published author of the book “Life Ignited: A Hopeful Journey, Sparked By Fire”.

Questions for Connor:

1. I would love for you to share your journey. It sounds heart-breaking and inspiring. What happened?
2. What was your personal experience of navigating life after your accident?
3. For people who have been through challenging childhoods, what advice would you share?
4. If you were to teach a class on overcoming childhood trauma what would you teach?
5. How did you develop mental resilience?
6. What is the Mac Mentality?
7. Could you please talk about courage. How do we cultivate it?
8. What advice could you share share on how to maintain confidence?
9. Many teenagers seem to be struggling at the moment with their mental and emotional health, what advice would you give them?
10. How has your approach to life has changed the lives of many?
11. How do people find out more about you?

To reach out to Connor or to learn more: https://macmentality.com/

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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What are the 5 basic components of great leadership?

Last week I talked about why boarding school doesn't create good leaders drawing upon the work of Nick Duffell's Wounded Leaders and Kouzes and Posner's The Leadership Challenge: https://youtu.be/VNMQpTyO1h8

Today I wanted to explore the work of Warren Benis in his book on Becoming A Leader.

What are the 5 key ingredients that all good leaders have?

I also share some of the work of Simon Sinek in his book Leaders Eat Last.

What helps you become a great leader?

Warm regards, Piers

leadershipdevelopment #leadership #warrenbenis #simonsinek

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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A fascinating discussion today with an ER medical doctor about her time in boarding school and how that affected her mental health.

She shares how she spent time in mental hospitals and was tried on 35 different medications.

Eventually she was given brain surgery for her depression.

She talks about the impact trauma had on her and the path of healing.

A very inspiring and heart breaking story.

Cathy Wield was born into a British Diplomatic Service family in India in 1959. She spent most of her childhood overseas in different locations until she commenced training to become a doctor in London, UK.

Most of her medical career was spent as an Emergency Physician with a short period working as a Psychiatrist. She started her post graduate training late, having decided to make family a priority, but this was interrupted twice by depression. The first episode was prolonged and severe and culminated in brain surgery. Her sudden, complete and miraculous recovery astonished the medical profession and is documented in her first book, Life After Darkness (Radcliffe 2006).

But in fact that was not the end of it, and within a year of publication she was re-admitted to a mental hospital during another emotional crisis. It is from this point on that she started to question her psychiatric treatment and look at the real reasons behind her mental health problems. The sequel and re-write to the first memoir:

‘Unshackled Mind; a doctor’s journey of trauma, liberation & healing’ will be published in February 2025, and available for pre-order from The Book Guild this autumn.

Questions for Cathy:

1. I would love for you to share some of your journey. How did you get into the work you now do?
2. Could you please talk us through your boarding school experiences. How were they for you?
3. Could you please talk to your experiences of psychiatry? What happened?
4. Could you please talk about emotional neglect. Why do you feel boarding school is emotional neglect?
5. Other areas to talk about:
6. Severe depression
7. The link between mental health and trauma
8. Mental health in this country
9. Self-harm and suicide
10. The path of recovery
11. The experience of the Coming Home retreat
12. Your experiences with the church as outlined in Thorn in my Mind

For more information please visit: https://cathywield.com/

To purchase her books: https://amzn.eu/d/7kH174Z

And a powerful article about her journey with mental health: https://www.madintheuk.com/2021/11/labels-that-stick/

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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Today I draw upon the work of leadership experts James Kouzes and Barry Posner in their book The Leadership Challenge and Nick Duffell in his book Wounded Leaders.

What are 5 reasons according to science that those who go to boarding school make bad leaders?

Based on the article by Nick Duffell in the Guardian in 2014: https://www.theguardian.com/education/2014/jun/09/boarding-schools-bad-leaders-politicians-bullies-bumblers

I talk about the lack of love, emotional intelligence, flexibility of the brain, not being able to interpret facial signals and others.

Any questions please do let me know.

leadershipdevelopment #leaders #boardingschoolsyndrome #boardingschool

Warm regards,

Piers

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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What is emotional neglect? And how might that link to boarding schools?

Today I am speaking with psychotherapist and author, Graham Music, who attended boarding school from age 9.

He talks about what trauma is, dissociation and neglect.

And he dives deep into emotional neglect. What is it and how might it show up in a boarding school setting? Why might neglect go unnoticed?

Graham Music is a psychotherapist, trainer, author and supervisor. He is a Consultant Child and Adolescent Psychotherapist at the Tavistock Centre where he has worked for over 20 years, and he has been an adult Psychotherapist for about 35 years. He supervises and teaches nationally and internationally and has a particular interest in linking cutting-edge developmental findings with therapeutic practice.

Formerly Associate Clinical Director of the Tavistock Clinic’s Child and Family Department, he has developed many innovative programs, including setting up services in over 40 schools and a range of services working with the aftermath of child maltreatment and neglect. His clinical specialty for decades been understanding and working with trauma.

neglect #emotionalneglect #boardingschoolsyndrome #boardingschool

Some questions for Graham:

1. I would love for you to share about how you got into the work you now do?
2. I would love to hear about your boarding school experiences
3. How can we re-spark hope and joy after being through trauma?
4. Your thoughts on dissociation
5. The importance of emotional development. What happens to a child when we are not emotionally nurtured?
6. Your thoughts on neglect - what it is and how does it impact children?
7. Could you please speak to emotional neglect. Why is it so damanging?
8. The importance of the body in therapeutic work. The work of Wilhelm Reich and somatic healing.
9. Anger and trauma. What to do when anger starts to arise in us. Why is that a hopeful sign?
10. How do we cultivate resilience?
11. How to people learn more about you?

To find out more about Graham and his work: http://www.nurturingnatures.co.uk/

sign-up for newsletter https://nurturingnatures.co.uk/sign-up/

twitter @grahammusic1

linkedin www.linkedin.com/in/

Books https://amzn.eu/d/c5hNFtg

Journal articles https://nurturingnatures.co.uk/publications/journals/

Book chapters https://nurturingnatures.co.uk/publications/book-chapters/

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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I often hear from people who went to boarding school – “Nothing happened to me.”

What they mean is that they weren't abused, beaten or sexually abused.

I then ask, did you see or hear beatings, violence, bullying or abuse?

Most reply, yes.

So the research around mirror neurons is now showing that the person who witnesses violence whether that be at home or at school will feel it, mirror it in their own brains.

Today I draw upon the work of psychiatrists, Dr Judith Herman in her book Trauma and Recovery, Dr Bessel van der Kolk's The Body Keeps The Score and Dr Paul Miller.

What are mirror neurons?

What happens to us when we witness other people being hurt?

I also quote from Boris Johnson's biography, Just Boris by Sonia Purnell about he felt when he heard younger boys being beaten at his boarding school Ashdown House and David Cameron's For The Record.

mirrorneurons #boardingschooltrauma #boardingschool #childhoodtrauma

Take care,

Piers

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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Is it possible to heal from childhood trauma?.

What if we had a really tough upbringing which included abuse, neglect and possibly even boarding school.

Can we heal?

What if we've tried everything but nothing is really working.

What can we do?

In today's conversation I am speaking with the founder of Realm Theory, Roslyn Snyder.

We talk about her work helping those that have been through trauma heal.

A really engaging and thought-provoking conversation.

Thank you Roslyn.

RoslynSnyder is the creator of books, experiential trainings and a practising psychologist. After a career in applied medical science, Roslyn Snyder graduated with first class honours in psychology in 1995 focussed on psycho-neurobiology and psychometrics. In 2017 she published Realm Theory and is now in the process of operationalising Realm Theory.

Questions for Roslyn:

1. I would love for you to share some of your journey. What was your childhood like and how did that impact your line of work?
2. I would love for you to talk about realm theory. What is it?
3. Could you please speak to the path of healing. Can we heal? What is the path of healing?
4. I would love you to talk about the Aboriginal culture. How does it differ from the Western school of thought? What can we learn from them?
5. Other areas to talk about:
6. Aboriginal boarding schools
7. The Map
8. Nature, place and purpose
9. The nature of patterns
10. The importance of elders
11. The Aboriginal way of bringing up children
12. Leadership – what you teach leaders

childhoodtrauma #trauma #traumaandrecovery #recoveryfromtrauma

To find out more about Rosylyn's work: https://wisdominyourlife.com.au

Or here: https://roslynsnyder.com/

To connect with her on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/roslyn-snyder-5552a15b/

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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Leaders and Burnout. What are the symptoms of burnout?

In my 20s, I had a breakdown and burnt out. I was working in London.

I had a job in sales and essentially lost motivation and drive.

I was selling big ticket items in the financial sector.

Some weeks I only sold one product a week. It felt exhausting.

Eventually it got so bad, I couldn't even get out of bed.

So I went through a period of a few years of burnout.

And I see in the work I do with my clients, a lot of my clients have come to me with burnout.

They're struggling. They are really chronically stressed.

The common theme for my clients is that they also went to boarding school as well.

And I find that this is a common overlap, this burnout for ex-boarders.

Why? We struggle to stop.

So what are the symptoms according to Emma Seppala PhD in her book The Happiness Track?

• being cynical,
• critical at work,
• dragging yourself to work, and having a hard time motivating yourself once there
• becoming irritable or impatient with colleagues or clients,
• lacking the energy needed to be productive,
• lacking satisfaction when you achieve something,
• and feeling disillusioned with your work.

Do you resonate with any of these?

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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Why is group work so important for boarding school survivors on the path to recovery?

If being seen was dangerous as a child at these public schools why is it so helpful to be seen in a group setting as we heal?

Today Nick Duffell who is one of the founding voices in the Boarding School Survivors movement talks about group work.

He talks about why we heal in group settings and how the group dynamics works.

He explores the process of surviving at boarding schools and the process of how we learn to thrive again.

Our wounding came from a group so it makes sense that our healing can come from the same setting.

A fascinating podcast.

Nick Duffell is a psychotherapist and trainer in private practice who pioneered therapeutic work with ex-boarders and specialist training for psychotherapists. He is the author of The Making of Them, Trauma, Abandonment and Privilege and Wounded Leaders.

Questions for Nick

1. I would love for you to talk about the importance of group work
2. What is it about being in a group of 'survivors' be that boarding school, childhood trauma or addiction that helps us to heal?
3. What makes the BSS workshops so unique, powerful and effective?
4. Why we learn to survive at boarding schools?
5. What might surviving look like as an adult?
6. How we start to thrive in our lives again?
7. Other areas to talk about:
8. Dissociation
9. Problems with intimacy
10. Workaholism
11. Addictions
12. Why were boarding schools set up?
13. What was the purpose of them?
14. What is the link between boarding schools, and colonialism
15. What is the impact of boarding school on children?

16. How might a boarding school education show up in adult life?

17. How do people find out more about your work?

nickduffell #boardingschoolsurvivors #boardingschoolsyndrome #workshops #groupwork

To book on one of Nick's workshops (Men's Workshop September 2024/ Women's October 2024): https://www.boardingschoolsurvivors.co.uk/events-and-workshops/

For more information please visit: https://www.boardingschoolsurvivors.co.uk/

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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Today I wanted to talk about a recent conversation I had with Nick Duffell the author of Wounded LEaders and The Making of Them.

Nick has been running group workshops for many years. https://www.boardingschoolsurvivors.co.uk/events-and-workshops/

He first began offering these 4 day workshops in 1989/90 and has run them every year since.

He offers them for both men and women.

Today I talk about the importance of group work.

I talk about the men’s circles that I run and the benefits I have found from attending these groups.

I share some of the beliefs that we might carry post boarding school - ‘there’s something wrong with me,’ or ‘I’m the only one.’

Because we never share and we never speak to others about what happened these beliefs get cemented inside.

It is time for us to let go of them.

How? By speaking them in a group or working 1-1 with someone we have an opportunity to share what we went through and to hear others’ experiences.

I share today many quotes from the psychiatrist, Dr Judith Herman, from her book Trauma and Recovery.

For groups that you can join as a boarding school survivor please visit:

Women: https://www.theboardingschooltherapist.com/womens-online-group

Men: https://www.piers-cross.com/online-mens-circles

grouphealing #groups #nickduffell #boardingschoolsurvivors #judithherman

Take care,

Piers

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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Gabriel Hershman is an author who also publishes under the name of Daniel Kupfermann. He has written 5 books, so far. Four were film biographies and written under the name of Gabriel Hershman. He has also written a memoir called, Don't Be So Sensitive.

“I decided to write the memoir under a pseudonym as a demarkation from my other work but also to shield the work from other living family members.

I grew up in London and then moved to Portugal and then Bulgaria. Writing a memoir is always a work in progress and it was only when I'd finished the book that I realised I'd been dealing with 4 family members who had attended boarding school and the strange effects on their psyche."

Questions for Gabriel:

1. I would love for you to share how you got into writing. What drew you to write your autobiography?
2. What was it like growing up? Could you please share some of your journey growing up?
3. What was it like being a day pupil at a school where there were boarders? What did you make of boarding at that age?
4. Could you please talk about highly sensitive people (HSP)? What is it? P.7
5. Your step-father Gerard's experience of boarding school: He was “sent away” “despatched” “being kicked in the teeth.” P.24 “he'd been through a tough time at boarding school” P.83
6. The physical, mental and emotional treatment you received from Gerard. What was it like growing up with an ex-boarder? P58 – “Gerard criticised me...” and would then.. P.59 “lose his temper.”
7. Even though Gerard had had a tough time at boarding school (your mother saying that he'd had “an emotional hysterectomy”) why did he want to send you away to one? P.83
8. As I was reading the book I could see many of Gerard's traits as symptoms of trauma/ boarding school syndrome: only interested in beautiful women/ weathy people, trying to curry favour with people. He had to win everytime. Very critical of you.
9. Leaving you for most of the winter age 10 with your alcoholic half-brother age 20. How was that for you? P.88 (Your mother leaving the same age her mother died age 10 – P.94)
10. Having no one to validate your feelings and left alone (P.134) How was that for you?
11. The experiences of your half-brothers and your mother's at boarding school (P.144)
12. Your experiences of Dulwich - “Dulwich was remarkably sink or swim.” P.151 Bullying P.160
13. What other aspects are there to these single-sex 'elite' schools that are detrimental to development?
14. Four members of your family went to boarding school and all became problem drinker. Could you please talk to that?
15. Your debilitating speech problem. Where do you think that arose from?
16. How do people find out more about your work and books

To purchase his memoir: https://amzn.eu/d/gR05hc9

To purchase his books on Amazon: https://amzn.eu/d/eTOwAHN

To connect with him on LinkedIn please visit: https://www.linkedin.com/in/gabriel-hershman-24955619/?originalSubdomain=bg

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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“The most important decision we make is whether we believe we live in a friendly or hostile universe.” Albert Einstein

Over the past few months I have over indulged in the news coverage of the troubles in the middle east, the violence on the streets of the UK and the challenges of the world.

And I started to lose perspective.

I started to catastrophize.

In today's video I talk about the research around negativity bias and how as humans we have a preponderance to focus more on the negative than the positive.

I talk about how as trauma survivors, whether that be childhood trauma or boarding school, we are prone to seeing the glass as half full.

We fulfil early childhood beliefs that – the world is not a safe place.

I touch on the work of Stanford's Emma Seppala, the Dalai Lama and I share some tips for how to unplug and move back into stillness and centredness again.

For my latest podcast talking about childhood trauma please visit: https://youtu.be/IFCFl3RccQ0

Take care,

Piers

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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Boarding School | Complex PTSD | Peter Cook | Path of Healing AEM #104 Jonathan Hansler

John Brittan is an English actor who actor name is Jonathan Hansler. He has worked in theatre, film, television and is a comedian and director. He was John Cleese's Basil Fawlty in the Edinburgh Festival in 2019.

Questions for Jonathan:

1. I would love for you to share some of your journey. How did you get into the work you now do?
2. Your journey at boarding school. What was it like?
3. I would love for you to talk about your connection to Peter Cook. What inspires you about him?
4. How has boarding school impacted you as an adult?
5. Your relationship to alcohol.
6. What has been your path of healing
7. Other areas to talk about:
8. Spirituality
9. Complex PTSD
10. Eckart Tolle and the Power of Now
11. Buddhism
12. The healing power of writing
13. The inner critic

To find out more about Jonathan please visit: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jonathan_Hansler

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jonathan.hansler

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jonhans17/

Twitter: https://www.x.com/johnhans

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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From this video from Jocko Willink: https://youtu.be/qcEiBIuJ5xg?si=m4YZMjJ4BhVJWQKH

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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How does trauma affect our leaders?

International CEO talks about what makes a great leader.

In today's conversation, Mason Farmani talks about trauma processing and how important it is.

He also talks about how we change as individuals and leaders. How do we heal?

Mason talks about energy medicine, the work of Joe Dispenza, his journey into shamanism and spending time with Dennis McKenna researching ayahuasca.

He shares his thoughts about command and control leaders and emotionally intelligent leaders.

I really loved this conversation.

Mason Farmani is an intuitive personal and corporate coach. He comes from a place of spirituality and works with trauma healing. He is the founder and leader of several thriving companies, both as startups and through acquisitions. Mason now works one-on-one with clients.

Questions for Mason:

1. I would love for you to share some of your journey. How did you get into the work you now do?
2. His own journey in the corporate world and beyond
3. What are the different types of leadership you have seen?
4. What is the importance of heart centred leadership?
5. Would love to hear you talk about how spirituality would play a role in leadership in a holistic way.
6. How do we move through anxiety?
7. What is the path of recovery from anxiety?
8. How do we begin to heal trauma?
9. Other areas to potentially cover:
10. Spirituality
11. Goal Setting:
12. Career Development:
13. Time Management:
14. Stress Management:
15. Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem:
16. Personal Growth and Fulfilment:
17. Health and Wellness: Sleep, as well as mental and emotional well-being.
18. Decision Making:
19. Transition and Change:
20. Creativity and Innovation:
21. Work-Life Balance:

leadership #leadershipdevelopment #leadershipskills #traumahealing #ceo

To find out more about Mason's work please visit: https://farmanicoaching.com/

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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Touch And Violence

“In the 1960s, anthropologist James Prescott carried out a very large scale study of child rearing and violence across different societies. He foun dthat those societies which gave less touching and affection to young children, had by far the most violence amongst adults.

"It's clear that the more tender and warm are the lives of children, the safer and more loving they will be as adults.” Steve Biddulph, Raising Boys

In the UK at the moment there is a lot of violence on the streets.

I read the above quote today and thought that I would share a few ideas about why this violence might be happening.

Could it have anything to do how we bring our children up?

Could it be that so many of the leaders in the UK in medicine, and politics used to talk about the need for less touch? Leave them to cry?

I talk about Sarah Ockwell Smith who I interviewed here: https://youtu.be/ijqYaxlXK34

And I talk about Nick Duffell who I interviewed here: https://youtu.be/gJ1MIdS6wiY

Take care,

Piers

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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Dr. Cate Howell is a medical doctor, a therapist, an educator and an author, specializing in mental health at every age. With more than 40 years of training and experience in the health arena, her practice and interest focuses on the intersection between physical, emotional, and mental health. She is the author of "The Changing Man: A mental health guide," as well as four other books. "The Changing Man" explores what mental health means for men at every age - from teens to seniors.

Cate was awarded the Order of Australia Medal for services to mental health. Cate currently works as a general practitioner, has a private practice focusing on mental health, and is involved in various teaching activities. Cate has a passion for sharing practical information about mental health through writing, and she has authored five books on mental health and counselling.

Questions for Dr Howell:

1. I would love for you to share some of your journey. How did you get into the work around men's mental and emotional health?
2. What are the issues that affect men’s emotional health?
3. Why is that men are often left to suffer in silence. What have you seen in your clinical work?
4. Could you please talk about where physical health meets mental health for men?
5. What are some of the unique tools that can help men understand what they are feeling?
6. Could you please talk to women's mental health? What is the best way to help women flourish?
7. Could you please talk about some of the holistic and integrative approaches to mental health?
8. Other areas to talk about:
   1. How to manage stress, worry and anxiety
   2. Listening, learning and caring
   3. Depression
   4. Intuition
   5. Self-compassion – Kristin Neff – Self-Kindness, Common Humanity, Mindfulness
9. How do people find out more about your work?

mentalhealth #mensmentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthmatters

To find out more about Cate's work please visit: https://www.drcatehowell.com.au/

To buy her books please visit: https://amzn.eu/d/0eBVKNSR

For men: https://amzn.eu/d/0b97v9Y2

For women: https://amzn.eu/d/00w2Y13H

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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Today I talk about trauma and mental health.

Many writers have shown the link between childhood trauma and poor mental health.

I talk about how in my own work some of the key symptoms of boarding school survivors are depression, anxiety and worry.

So what are 5 things you can do to improve your mental health?

I also talk about my upcoming podcast with medical doctor Dr Cate Howell where we go into more depth about mental health especially with men.

Take care,

Piers

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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A simple guided meditation to help you slow down.

Based on the Quick Coherence Technique from the Heart Math Institute this guided meditation is very easy to do.

It will help with stress, relaxation and improving your sleep if you do it before bed.

meditation #guidedmeditation #heartmath

Take care,

Piers

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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Jay Marshall is a design engineer who after working across, Formula 1, film, sound and human performance has been motivated to help stop child exploitation due to friends, his own and his family members' experiences. He is the co-founder of Safe Kids Spaces www.sks.fyi a 51% parent owned community company building AI technologies to secure children’s online safety, wellbeing and digital sovereignty.

Questions for Jay:

1. I would love for you to share a little of your journey. How did you get into the work you now do?
2. How technologies and online companies are harming our children but also how we can develop our way out of these problems using the same tech to protect children. For example, a conversation around how our Ai-Parent http://qrco.de/SKS-Ai-Parent could help children that boarded, (remembering the Alexa on your child’s phone is swapped out for an all seeing virtual Ai CC version of the child’s parent).
3. The IICSA report, the flawed online safety bill, and the “Children’s Digital Sovereignty” bill we are working towards partitioning.
4. We should have the VPOC portal (the verified-parent-only-community company forum) in a couple of weeks, it would be nice to steer people there. This community effectively owns 51% of SKS Ltd and its technologies in perpetuity, the community regulates the company and R&D’s the tech, will in the future onboard best fit staff throughout the portal, negate moral questions around our mission combatting CSA (because eventually we will polygraph everyone) and leave a sizeable 49% stake for investment and to help the organisation remain financially agile / independent.
5. How the governments lack in direction and the ability act around CSA is affecting groups like ours.
6. My and my families encounters with CSA.
7. Homicidal ideation
8. Promoting / restricting the child’s agency / responsibility during abuse conformation and perpetrator confrontation ie pre / 0 judicial intervention of the child’s abuse ie “You don’t have to worry about a thing its all taken care of, to, what do you want to do about what’s happened your in control?).
9. Public School / school reform in general
10. His public school experience
11. His career in F1 and the music industry and how school, family and CSA experiences effected that journey.

To find out more about Jay's work please visit: www.sks.fyi

Petition:https://www.change.org/p/mandate-a-children-s-digital-sovereignty-bill-for-safe-online-interactions

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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James Blunt has a new documentary out on Netflix at the moment called, One Brit Wonder.

It is excellent.

I was really touched by some of his reflections about his boarding school experiences.

There is footage of James' sister being driven to meet him to play a gig. She says, "I've never really met him before." She's asked, "Is that because of boarding school?" She replies, "Yes."

I also link in boarding school syndrome to many of the topics James talks about: workoholism, struggling with emotions, eating food fast, bullying.

It is really worth a watch: https://youtu.be/2MQG7u9Nwbs?si=cH5XP62lnyfQ_CXJ

Take care,

Piers

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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Conflict often shows up in relationships. Especially for those who have been through some form of childhood trauma or been at boarding school.

We weren't taught how to resolve conflict in a heart-centred way. Instead we learned to avoid conflict at all costs. For many it was seen as dangerous.

But there is a positive and life affirming way to resolve difficulties in relationships with others.

And today's guest, Kimberly Best, who is an expert in this field leads us through the key principles of conflict management.

A really fascinating conversation.

Kimberly Best is a civil mediator and is currently serving her second term on the board of the Tennessee Association of Professional Mediators as Chair/President. She also have over 4 decades as a licensed registered nurse and an MA from the Institute of Conflict Management, Lipscomb University.

Areas to talk about:

1. I would love for you to share some of your journey. How did you get into the work you now do?
2. Men and interpersonal conflict.
3. Why do men keep so much stored up inside themselves?
4. What are some of the of rules and expectations that we put on men?
5. What do we need to do instead of instilling rules and expectations?
6. How important is it to be heard without judgement and validated, so much locked emotion comes out. It is sacred to share those moments.
7. Can you please share some tips on conflict management, the emotional experience and/or why we do conflict like we do?
8. Can you please talk about how conflict is normal.
9. It’s a sign of a problem to solve and just because people don’t agree with us doesn’t mean they’re against us - it means they’re different from us.
10. I talk about the cost of right/wrong, win/lose; the stories we tell ourselves about the other person; the uselessness of blame.
11. One of the most common for men is trying to mitigate for someone else’s feelings - a commitment to “not upset.”
12. I talk about being honest about what goes on with us and letting the other person feel however they need to. Conflict resolution is about the “what next?”
13. I also really like to talk about using mediation as a tool for conflict resolution - at work and with interpersonal relationships.

conflictmanagement #conflictresolution #boardingschooltrauma #complexptsd

To find out more about her please visit: https://www.bestconflictsolutions.com/mediation-practice

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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What is the path of recovery from childhood trauma, abuse and boarding school syndrome?

What does it look like?

Today I am talking with Bryn Edwards about his journey of recovery. Bryn went to boarding school from age 8-18. He was a complier. 1st XV Rugby, and sportsman.

He also talks about colonisation and how that links to boarding school.

He talks about the difference between trauma and abuse. And he shares his ideas around the inner indigenous (a subject Nick Duffell explores in Wounded Leaders) and what we can do to reconnect to it.

Bryn Edwards has worked in the dynamic field of organisational and cultural psychology, solving problems at the intersection of culture, team performance, and individual mental and emotional health for many years. He hosted the WA Real Podcast for 4 years hosting over 200 episodes. And he has completed a three-year mentorship to become a practitioner of Roslyn Snyder’s Realm Theory, the comprehensive psychology framework revealing the universal principles shaping our lives.

Some areas to talk about:

1. Your journey to get where you are today?
2. Actual dynamics of colonisation and the process of assimilating into it (and out).
3. Being British and linking it to boarding school as a fractal of this.
4. Looking at the history of Britain not just as a coloniser but also as a colonised state.
5. Britain was colonised in 40AD and had been ever since by different European elements.
6. Britannia was its first given colonised name (think Bombay-Mumbai or Ceylon-Sir Lanka), it had another before - Albion. So everytime we sing Rule Britannia, we are celebrating our own colonisation; and for me celebrating our collective trauma and servitude.
7. Intergenerational trauma: the cycle of abuser/abusee flowing from generation to generation.
8. This collective trauma invoked from within himself as part of my own bigger healing journey.
9. The well-honed ‘capacity to bear’ something he almost celebrated, something drilled into him not just at school but also by merely being British.
10. Colonisation and boarding school and other such inhumane artefacts as acceptable.

To find out more about Bryn and the work of Roslyn:

• His linkedin profile - https://www.linkedin.com/in/bryn-edwards-29a906/
• Company link - https://wisdominyourlife.com.au/
• Bryn's podcast with Roz - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t8m7zLmT_S8

trauma #traumaandrecovery #boardingschoolsyndrome #colonisation

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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"Love Is More Important Than Food" | And The Lack of Love At Boarding School | Piers Cross

Drawing upon the ideas of Julia Samuel in her interview with Charles Spencer from minute 13.30: https://youtu.be/R7YZHcLhrF8?si=GSoMoLqMKjBYPEvO&t=780

And from this article from George Monbiot about boarding schools: https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2019/nov/07/boarding-schools-boris-johnson-bullies

Love is more important than food and as Charles points out "There was no shadow of feminine care in the school."

Take care, Piers

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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A leading clinical psychologist shares his thoughts about boarding school and compassion.

Some of the words Prof Paul Gilbert uses for boarding school are “nonsense”, “a ridiculous psychology”.

Professor Gilbert attended boarding school from age 11 through to 18 and shares what his experiences were like.

He also talks about his main work – Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT). He talk about what it is and how it differs from psychotherapy.

A brilliant and passionate episode...

Prof Paul Gilbert, OBE is a Professor of Clinical Psychology at the University of Derby and the founder of Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT). He is also the bestselling author of Overcoming Depression and The Compassionate Mind. Professor Gilbert has published 23 books and over 300 academic papers and book chapters. As a leading researcher and practitioner, Paul’s groundbreaking work has provided compelling evidence for the role of compassion in understanding and alleviating our own suffering and that of others.

Questions for Paul:

1. I would love for you to share some of your journey. How did you get into the work you now do?
2. I would love for you to share about your childhood. What were your boarding school experiences like?
3. Did your childhood impact the work you went into?
4. Could you please talk us through Compassion Focused Therapy. What is it? And how does it differ from regular therapy?
5. I see that Nicola Petrocchi has done extensive research on CFT. What were the findings?
6. I also see that you have had conversations with Matthieu Ricard, the Buddhist monk (I love his book Happiness). What did you learn from these conversations?
7. What is the power of compassion?
8. Other areas to talk about:
   1. Understanding shame and self-criticism
   2. How Buddhist psychology influenced your work
   3. The science of compassion.
   4. The future of psychology

For more information about Paul's work: https://www.compassionatemind.co.uk/

Or to purchase his books: https://amzn.eu/d/c3N4Oib

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

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What is the outer critic especially in terms of childhood trauma, complex PTSD and boarding school syndrome?

How does the outer critic come to the fore? And what is the outer critic's link to the inner aspect?

Today I wanted to offer some reflections about how this part of our psyche plays out.

I quote from Pete Walker and his book, Complex PTSD and also from Nick Duffell's Wounded Leaders and his take on dissociation.

If you have learned to dissociate from the unwanted parts of yourself you will have a tendency to project them onto others. “I am not the vulnerable, needy, wounded one, you are...”

Here is the podcast from last week about repressing emotions: https://youtu.be/qDmX4FfSF3U

And looking forward to the podcast with Professor Paul Gilbert going live this Friday.

Take care,

Piers

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/