Virtual Pause: Recent Episodes
Angie Winn
A brief guided meditation intended to integrate your body, mind, heart, and spirit so that you can live with resilience and stability in everyday chaos. Thirty minutes to be still-grounding our bodies, quieting our minds, opening our hearts by letting go, and listening to our souls. Different applicable topic each week, such as anxiety or over-reacting. Open to people of all faiths and beliefs, and specifically for those working in high-stress environments with vulnerable populations. Most episodes are pre-recorded with a live audience. Support this podcast https://anchor.fm/angie-winn. Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/angie-winn/support
June 10, 2024
“All men seek peace first of all with themselves. That is necessarybecause we do not naturally find rest even in our being. We have to learn to communewith ourselves before we can communicate with other men and with God. A man whois not at peace with himself necessarily projects his interior fighting into thesociety of those he lives with, and spreads a contagion of conflict all aroundhim. Even when he tries to do good to others his efforts are hopeless, since hedoes not know how to do good to himself. In moments of wildest idealism he maytake int into his head to make other people happy: and in doing so he will overwhelmthem with his own unhappiness. He seeks to find himself somehow in the work ofmaking others happy. Therefore, he throws himself into the work As a result hegets out of the work all that he puts into it: his own confusion, his own disintegration,his own unhappiness.” Thomas Merton, No Man is an Island
Sometimes we feel like we are floating comfortably on a raftdown a calm river, at peace and at home with ourselves. Other times we feellike we are in class IV rapids, grasping at little inner tubes as they floatby, trying to survive, pulling in lifelines where we can.
Today we will get ourselves back on the raft through ourpause, and then discern the stake of the tent that we need to strengthen to beable to come back to peace and rest.
Photo by Vicko Mozara on Unsplash
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June 10, 2024
There are times in our lives where we feel that we may notwhere we are going. We may be in a space of waiting, or not fully immersed intoone thing. We may feel lost or purposelessness in the ordinary. Letting go ofneeding to know where we are going, being seen a certain way, and feeling asense of security, allows us to be content in the place where God has us.
When I am among the trees,
Especially the willows and the honey locust,
Equally the beech, the oaks and the pines,
They give off such hints of gladness.
I would almost say that they save me, and daily.
I am so distant from the hope of myself,
In which I have goodness, and discernment,
And never hurry through the world
But walk slowly, and bow often.
Around me the trees stir in their leaves
And call out, “Stay awhile.”
The light flows from their branches.
And they call again, “It’s simple,” they say,
“and you too have come into the world to do this, to go easy,to be filled
With light, and to shine.”
Mary Oliver, When I am Among the Trees
Photo credit: Alex Winn, Australian hike
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June 3, 2024
Today we are going to do a longer pause – taking more time tosettle our bodies, quiet our minds, open our hearts, and connect to our source.So if you can spread out we will be on our feet doing some movements.
“Awaken us to the Oneness of all things, to the beauty andtruth of Unity. May we become aware of the interdependence of all livingthings, and come to know You in everything, and all things in You. For as we attuneto your Presence within us, we know not separation, and joy becomes our dwellingplace.” Excerpted from Psalm 106, Nan Merrill, Psalms for Praying
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May 20, 2024
Sometimes when we are in flux – uncertainty – in one or more aspectsof our lives, we begin to try and control something to alleviate the discomfortthat flux brings. And that control brings chaos in our lives and the lives ofothers. That is the flux factor – the unintended consequences of our behaviorswhen we are feeling out of control. In today’s episode, we will identify wherewe are “fluxing” and how we are responding to it, and then, through a Pause,try to settle ourselves and let go of the need to feel “ok”.
In our spirit section I read from Rainer Maria Rilke,
“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and tryto love the questions themselves…Live the questions ow. Perhaps you will thengradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.”
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April 28, 2024
Looking at an oak covered with moss this weekend, I realized thatmy current situation is like the clump of moss in the tree. And I am trying tosolve the problem by staying inside the moss. As Albert Einstein said, “Wecannot solve a problem with the same mind that created it.”
Today we are going to shake off the moss and let ourselves be free from it,reaching up to the sun-lit, silent sky for insight and solutions.
Here I am, trapped again
fixing the quandary by piling on more dirt in the trenches I’vecarved out for myself.
Suffocating under the dirt I cling to, I fling
blinding myself with my own chaos.
It’s not in there,
the answer, the validation, the path you look for
It’s not in there,
the healing and insight you seek.
Shake it off,
Shake off the dirt
the moss that clints to you
and reach for the silent sun-lit sky
Be
then Free
then See
For my designs for your life are immeasurable, unspeakable.
Be
Free
See.
-Angie Winn
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April 15, 2024
Sometimes we need a little help loving others and loving ourselves!Today I will guide us through an adaptation of a Loving-Kindness Meditation fromJohn Kabat-Zinn to help us experience a sense of love for ourselves and ourcommunity. I will then follow it up with this encouragement from Ephesians 3:17-19
“And I pray that you, being rooted andestablished in love, may have power, together withall God’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high anddeep is the love of Christ,and to know this love thatsurpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all thefullness of God.”
https://www.mindful.org/this-loving-kindness-meditation-is-a-radical-act-of-love/
photo credit: elena-mozhvilo on unsplash
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April 8, 2024
From James Finley, writer of April 8th, 2024 DailyMeditation CAC.org.
“Theessential, that which is given to us in the metaphorical fire of this quietoneness, never imposes itself on us, while the unessential is constantlyimposing itself on us. We begin to wonder, “How can I learn not to get socaught up in the complexities of the day-to-day that I keep losing my sense ofconnectedness with this depth, this fire, which alone is ultimately real?”
Itdoesn’t lie in our power to make these insights happen, but here’s the key. Wecan freely choose to assume the stance that offers the least resistance tobeing overtaken by the fire that we cannot make happen. This is our dailyrendezvous, and the key is that it’s personal. We have to find those acts,those persons, those modes of service, those moments of creative unfolding,those moments where we feel something is being asked of us….
Therefore,we want to set aside a quiet time of availability to this. We have to stay withit. We have to be patient and be calm. We have to be receptively open to thisway of being. And at the end of each rendezvous with the deeper place, we askfor the grace not to break the thread of that sensitivity as we go through therest of our day. Although the thread breaks many times from our end, it neverbreaks from God’s end…. “
Listening to our Souls through these lines of Pinegrove’s Iodine:
I’m spiraled up inside
My iridescent mind is reaching up for something pure and or actual.
Photo by amirali mirhashemian on Unsplash
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April 1, 2024
When we exert our “will”, pull up our boot straps, and keepgoing and pushing, we often become depleted and depressed. Perhaps we aretrying to make a path for ourselves that is not intended for us. Often when welet go of what we think we should be and do, then an authentic gift shows up inus that we never knew we had. In this episode, we will identify those places inour lives where we are trying really hard, and discern if this is where we aresupposed to be, let go, and see what gift is actually trying to be birthed.
“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything with thanksgiving letyour requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses allcomprehension, shall guard you hearts and your minds.” Philippians 4: 6-7
Poem:
A god can do it. But tell me how
a person can flow like that through the slender lyre.
Our mind is split. At the crossroads in our heart
stands no temple for Apollo.
Song, as you teach us, is not a grasping
not a seeking for some final consummation.
To sing is to be. Easy for a god.
But when do we simply be? When do we
become one with earth and stars?
It is not achieved, young friend, by being in love,
however vibrant that makes your voice.
Learn to forget you sang like that. It passes.
Truly to sing takes another kind of breath.
A breath in the void. A shudder in God. A wind.
Rainer Maria Rilke
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March 25, 2024
I am realizing how much I hold on to my self-concept, whichmakes it so that I am resistant to saying yes to something new. In thisepisode, we will identify how we are fortifying our self-concept and resisting,and then let go so we can say yes to the adventure that awaits for us.
The Healing Time
Finally on my way to yes
I bump into
All the places where I said no
To my life
All the untended wounds
The red and purple scars
Those hieroglyphs of pain
Carved into my skin, my bones,
Those coded messages
That send me down
The wrong street
Again and again
Where I find them
The old wounds
The old misdirections
And I left them one by one
close to my heart
and I say holy,
holy.
Pesha Gertler
photo credit: Drahomír Hugo Posteby-Mach
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March 4, 2024
Do you feel like you have some stirrings to do something – maybe noticing the shifts and changes in your soul or in your life, and wondering if you should pursue them? If we want to move throughout life with stability – peace, wholeness, and integration – we have to do some from a place of stillness. In today’s episode we will examine our stirrings to do, from a place of being still.
You are not deadyet, it’s not too late
To open your depthsby plunging into them
And drink in the life
That reveals itselfquietly there.
-Rainer Maria Rilke,The Book of a Monastic Life, I, 14
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February 26, 2024
Today I will lead us on a journey where we begin with identifying what is occupying our thoughts (to do list, worries, etc.), and moving out of our minds, through our surroundings, and in a different environment. We will notice what we experience in that environment, and then bring that experience back down to our list of what is in our mind, and see how the perspective changes.
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February 12, 2024
Let’s stop the noise and the requests and trying to figure itall out in our heads, leaving our prayers to be ineffective incessant babbling.Let’s take just half an hour and let go, and experience the gifts and surprisinganswers in the midst of silence.
“Deafened by the voice of desire
You are unaware the Beloved lives
In the core of your heart.
Stop the noise and
You will hear Her voice
In the silence.”
Rumi: Hidden Music
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February 5, 2024
What does it look like to live out of the fullness we were designedfor? In today’s Pause, we will identify that seed or blossoming thing in us thatis uniquely ours. We will look at what obstacles keep it from blossoming intoits fullness and let go. We will see how our fullness will only be realized whenit helps remove obstacles so that someone else may experience their fullness aswell.
“Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn,and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Give, and itwill be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and runningover, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will bemeasured to you.” Luke 6: 37-38
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January 29, 2024
If we are honest with ourselves, we deeply desire to figureout how to be okay. We want to design our lives so that nothing bothers us, buteverything is structured so that we will be okay. We wander, we strive, weperpetuate our chaos trying to find our way to be okay. Instead, we have to letgo, open up, and release our obsessions with making everything okay, so that wecan just BE okay. Today, instead of finding the solutions, we will let it allgo, so we can experience okay-ness, experience stability and peace.
Listen portion today:
“We don’t have to attain nirvana, because we ourselves arealways dwelling in nirvana. The water does not have to look for water. Italready is water. We are one with the ground of being.” -Thich Nhat Hanh
(quoted from The Art of Being, Dennis Merritt Jones)
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January 22, 2024
Have you ever experienced an actual snownado? It’s terrifyingto watch – and you have no choice but to be in the midst of it. How oftenduring chaos we resist, fight, or try to control the circumstances. Yet if wesit in the snownado and actually look up toward the light, the chaos can beused for a purpose. As Dr. Otis Moss III states, we can turn chaotic energy to purpose,we can consecrate our chaos. (Otis Moss III, Dancing in the DarknessSpiritual Lessons for Thriving in Turbulent Times; CAC Meditation, 1/22/2024.)
Listen portion today:
“In the beginning God created the heaves and the earth. Nowthe earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, andthe Spirit of God was hovering over the waters. And God said, “Let there belight, “ and there was light. God saw that the light was good, and he separatedthe light form the darkness.” Genesis 1: 1-4, NIV
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January 8, 2024Instead of setting rigid “goals”, what is being cultivated inyou? In today’s pause, grab a piece ofpaper and some markers, as I lead you through drawing a tree. We will reviewlast year’s fruit we produced and look at the branches that needed to be lobbedoff. We will look towards 2024 as ways to firmly plant our roots into deep soiland cultivate the values and virtues that come up for us.“May you be rooted and grounded in love (Ephesians 3:17)…like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season, andwhose leaf does not wither (Psalm 1).”--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/angie-winn/message
December 18, 2023
We so often build our house in vain or toil in labor, yet asthe Psalm 127 continues God “pours gifts on his beloved while they slumber.”
In this episode we will identify what we are building or toiling after, andthen focus on releasing why we are doing this, so we can “surrender and slumber”and hear the divine guidance as we move throughout the world, moving with andas love.
Photo Credit: Lanju Fotografie unsplash
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December 4, 2023
In this season of holiday craze, I am finding myself fromtime to time throwing an Angie tantrum. I easily blame my frustration andirritability on the chaos around me. Yet when I actually take the time to bestill, I see that there is yearning underneath the chaos. In this episode, wewill spend some time getting quiet and identifying what our souls are longingfor.
Listening passage:
” Better is one hand full of quietness than two hands full oftoil and a stiving after wind.” Ecclesiastes 4:6
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November 27, 2023
Thanksgiving Holiday can bring about joy and absolute stressand strain as we navigate family, locations, busyness, and chaos. These thingscan embed themselves in us, shaping the way we think and interact and move inthe world. Sometimes these things are conscious, yet often times they are trappedin us unconsciously. In today’s episode, we are going to get the turkey out! Releasingthose things in us that we need to let go.
Listening passage:
I am not my thoughts, emotions, sense perceptions, and experiences.I am not the content of my life. I am Life. I am the space in which all thingshappen. I am consciousness. I am the Now. I Am.
-Eckhart Tolle, Stillness Speaks, 2003
Photo credit: Anuj Yadav
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November 13, 2023I continuously find myself in situations where the core of mybeliefs and how I experience God is triggered. Yet by practicing thiscontemplative life, we are surrendering to the flow and allowing our ego tolessen and the self-protective mechanisms to rest. In today’s pause, we will gothrough a visualization where we identify a place where we are being triggered andself-protecting, and allow those soldiers to let go and take a nap. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/angie-winn/message
November 6, 2023
Our lives are the context by which we can heal and grow. Weoften focus on the circumstance, yet there is something deep underneath thatneeds addressing.
Today we will talk about how to look underneath that hood,underneath the circumstance, so we can find healing and freedom.
“I’m so done running from freedom
Double down on everything that I believe in
I was too scared to see my whole vision
I put myself up in my self built prison
No one had the key but myself and my feelings
The pain never leaves till it’s all done teaching
But it all brought me here after a thousand seasons
So thank you for a million reasons”
…they’re just a way to the way to the way inside
Way to the Way, Kevin Paris
https://open.spotify.com/track/2LU6SdGdA3faORkSDY6tw6?si=93dd191397c3493f
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n-cm7Q3693g
Art on episode cover- from Kevin Paris' Way to the Way song
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October 16, 2023
Sometimes challenges come up in life and although they effectus, it is like when our bike moves to a different gear. Takes some time toadjust, but then we find our rhythm and cadence again. And then there are othersituations, past wounds, and relationships, that somehow get such a grip on usthat our chain falls off! In this episode, we will identify those things wegrab onto that change our entire being, and let them go.
Listening portion today:
Settle
Quiet down
Be still
Open up
Release
Let go
And let in
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October 9, 2023
We can get ourselves in a dark forest, sit on the floor, andgather some really wet, unusable twigs and try to start a fire. That’s our mindsolving all of our problems with all of our own faculties and resources. Inthis pause, we will GET OUT of that forest floor, allowing the flame of the Spiritto bring us up to the top of the mountain where we can clearly see andexperience freedom.
Listening portion today:
I waited patiently for the Lord
He inclined and heard my cry
He brought me out of the pit
Out of the miry clay
I will sing, sing a new song
You set my feet upon a rock
And made my footsteps firm
I will sing, sing a new song.
Psalm 40, as sung by U2 “40”
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September 25, 2023
There is a small seed in us that was planted inside of us andleads us to doing good in the world. But that small seed can lose it’s abilityto grow if we allow the voices of others to tell us it’s not good enough, orthe distractions of life to choke it out. We have to “take care how we listen.”
In this episode we will identify the voices and circumstancesthat drown out this seed in us, and keep us from listening to the still smallvoice of God in us.
I will quote Luke 8:15-18, and Henri Nouwen form Finding MyWay Home.
“Don’t be afraid. Something is happening to you. Payattention.”
photo credit: Jeremy Bishop Unsplash
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September 18, 2023
We cling to or resist external circumstances, others’perspectives, outside voices, just to be okay. We believe if we cling ontosomething in our minds, we will eventually become more of that thing (likepraise), and if we resist something in our minds, we will become less of thatthing (like criticism).
We believe by clinging or resisting, we will be okay. The oppositeis true. We become disconnected and disengaged. And our inner place of peacegets covered up.
In this episode, we will identify the clinging and resistingand let these things “pass through”.
It doesn’t have to be
The blue iris, it could be
Weeds in a vacant lot, or a few small stones;
Just pay attention, then patch
A few words together and don’t try
To make them elaborate, this isn’t
A contest but the doorway
into thanks, and a silence in which
Another voice may speak.
Praying, Mary Oliver
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September 11th, 2023
When we come out of a crisis or stressful situation, we often feel either wired or tired. In today’s pause we will try to get back to that place of balance – in between the frenetic frenzy and the hiding sloth. We will dig a little deeper into what’s going on in our bodies, minds, and hearts, so we can clear the clutter and connect to our source.
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August 28, 2023
Sometimes life is so challenging that we can’t articulate whatis going on inside of us. Our minds can’t quiet and our soul feels completelyburied. Staying in our heads doesn’t help at all, we need a deeper soul connection.
In today’s episode we will imagine our selves as the earth, wind,fire and water. We will experience the characteristics of each, and identifywhere we uniquely reflect in those elements.
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August 14, 2023
I have felt like I have been whipped around in the strong waves of the ocean lately, and it has been so challenging that even trying to shove my way to the surface to breathe doesn’t seem to work. But, as I reflect, there have been these moments of grace when breath was given to me. Today we will look back at where and how we have been given little lifelines, little gulps of air, in the midst of our storms, and experience a sense of gratitude.
Deep calls to deep in the roar of your torrents, and all your waves and breakers sweep over me. By day may God send God’s mercy, and by night may God’s righteousness be with me I will pray to the God of my life. Psalm 42
Photo credit: Photo by César Couto on Unsplash
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August 7, 2023
I gave up on the pause, or any form of being still and letting go, last week when I had a meltdown in the midst of a very difficult season I am in. But then I realized that meltdown is actually the fruit of the pause – the breaking open of the defense mechanisms to the vulnerable and painful reality of what is going on in me.
Today we will practice abhyasa – the unswerving commitment to what we believe in – that we are made to be brilliant diamond lights of love and peace.
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July 31, 2023
Currently my circumstances are in high levels of chaos. Yet internally, the chaos is brewing even hotter. Being resilient requires reducing the space between chaos and stability. We may notice our tendencies when in chaos, like to over-indulge, not sleep well, lashing out at others, or withdrawing. But what is underneath?
Internal chaos develops because of some feeling, emotion, thought, or belief we are gripping onto, which in turn, grips onto us. In this episode we will dig a bit underneath our tendencies of chaos and see what can be released, so that we can stop perpetuating the chaos inside of us.
Your beautiful face is the light of my heart
Your gentleness has given me wings
Your laughter is my scared feast.
Intoxicated by Your delicate scent
My heart can beat for no other.
I walk buoyantly in Your court
And rest in the shade of Your curls.
Immersed in the bliss of Your sea
I surrender at Your feet.
I have become You.
-Rumi
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July 24, 2023
“Whether you and I and a few others will renew the world someday remains to be seen But within ourselves we must renew it each day.” Heman Hesse
Sometimes we feel a moment of peace and surrender, but it doesn’t seem to transcend past the present moment. As soon as we walk into the next situation, we find our anger or despair or insecurity raises its ugly head. For me, I think it’s because often times I don’t really reach that place of nothingness.
Today we will go through a visualization, to get us to that place of silence, of nothingness, so that it can transcend past the present moment into the other aspects of our lives.
I AM
Rooted like the earth
Passionate like fire
Free like the wind
Vast like the water
Shining like the sun
Peaceful like the moon
Joyful like creation
Gentle like the grass
Patient like the oak
I AM LOVE.
Angie Winn
Photo by Ryan Tasto on Unsplash
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July 17, 2023
There are times in my life where I have used up all of my skills, energy, brilliance, and resources to solve a problem, and it just isn’t working. I am relying on my own abilities, yet those abilities are just not enough to change the circumstance. I feel hopeless, exhausted, and scared. I try to light the flame within me, but it feels like nothing but darkness lies inside.
In this episode we will imagine that area in our life where we have nothing left, and let go and be still to allow the light of God to come in.
“The Lord will fight for you; you only have to keep still.” Exodus 14:14
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June 26, 2023
"When I want to find my true self, I do not chase up and down the highways of my sense for they lead me consistently array. But when I want to find my true self, I disentangle myself from the senses, from this other region and move straight to the core of me. Which, says Eckhart, is where the Godhead is located." Howard Thurman, The Way of the Mystics
When I am at the end of my road, I cannot solve a problem or resolve a conflict, I feel a wave of despair over me that doesn't seem to be able to be lifted, when I have used all of my brilliance and ideas and ways of analyzing and I still see no solution, then I must be still. Surrender leads to stillness which leads to openness. And that's when the shift can happen - and resources, solutions, people, ideas, suddenly come into view. The veil is lifted. I can see.
Listening portion today:
To ‘slow down’ … seems like the wrong thing to do when there’s fire on the mountain. But here’s the point: in ‘hurrying up’ all the time, we often lose sight of the abundance of resources that might help us meet today’s most challenging crises. We rush through the same patterns we are used to. Of course, there isn’t a single way to respond to a crisis; there is no universally correct way. However the call to slow down works to bring us face to face with the invisible, the hidden, the unremarked, the yet-to-be-resolved.... It is about staying in the places that are haunted.
Philosopher Bayo Akomolafe
Photo by DICSON on Unsplash
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June 19, 2023
Juneteenth is a reminder of real freedom. In this episode we will look at places in our lives where we keep ourselves captive and are not free, where we keep others imprisoned through unforgiveness or control, and where we may unknowingly be keeping a group or the earth imprisoned because of our own lack of self-reflection and honesty.
Our reading today is from Maya Angelou
Caged Bird
A free bird leaps
on the back of the wind
and floats downstream
till the current ends
and dips his wing
in the orange sun rays
and dares to claim the sky.
But a bird that stalks
down his narrow cage
can seldom see through
his bars of rage
his wings are clipped and
his feet are tied
so he opens his throat to sing.
The caged bird sings
with a fearful trill
of things unknown
but longed for still
and his tune is heard
on the distant hill
for the caged bird
sings of freedom.
The free bird thinks of another breeze
and the trade winds soft through the sighing trees
and the fat worms waiting on a dawn bright lawn
and he names the sky his own.
But a caged bird stands on the grave of dreams
his shadow shouts on a nightmare scream
his wings are clipped and his feet are tied
so he opens his throat to sing.
The caged bird sings
with a fearful trill
of things unknown
but longed for still
and his tune is heard
on the distant hill
for the caged bird
sings of freedom.
Maya Angelou, “Caged Bird” from Shaker, Why Don't You Sing? Copyright © 1983 by Maya Angelou. Used by permission of Random House, an imprint and division of Penguin Random House LLC. All rights reserved.
Source: The Complete Collected Poems of Maya Angelou (Random House Inc., 1994)
Photo by Charles Postiaux on Unsplash
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June 12, 2023
We don’t take the time to be still, to pause, because we either don’t feel worthy of stillness, or perhaps we don’t think stillness will do anything productive for us. So we continue the chaotic pace and refuse to pause, and meanwhile our souls are parched. Yet stillness is the only thing that strips us of our false self and brings out our true soul. So our souls are worthy of the gift of stillness.
I said to my soul, be still, and wait without hope
For hope would be hope for the wrong thing: wait without love
For love would be love of the wrong thing: there is yet faith
But the faith and love and the hope are all in in the waiting.
Wait without thought, for you are not ready for thought:
So the darkness shall be the light, and the stillness the dancing.
-T.S. Elliot
photo credit: sawyer bengston unsplash
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May 22, 2023"We are in a "selah" time, where the urgency of our challenges invites us to pause, to wait, to relfect more deeply. Selah means to pause, to wait, and to take a breath. It is the moment of intermission, marking the ending of one movement and the beginning of the next." In Times of Turbulence, Fly Loose. Cameron TrimbleIn this pause we will identify a place in our life when we are in the in-between, something has or is ending, and something new may begin, but we feel lost. We will take a pause to settle in this lost space, so that we can use the "gifts of being lost to guide us."Our listening portion today:"The times are urgent; let us slow down. Slowing down is losing our way. Losing our way is not a human capacity or human capability. It is the invitations that are now in the world at large, inviting us to listen deeply, to be keen and to be fresh and to be quick with our heels, to follow the sights and sounds and smells of the world." Bayo AkomolafePhoto credit: Dan Grinwis--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/angie-winn/messageSupport this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/angie-winn/support
We will dive right into a pause so that we can settle ourselves and then discern what it is that our body needs right now, our minds, our hearts, then our spirits. This is a great episode to experience when you are feeling chaotic and frazzled and don’t know what you need. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/angie-winn/messageSupport this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/angie-winn/support
I often find myself in my head - thinking of all the awesome things that I can dream up and do. Yet in reality, I am actually tripping over my past failures. Sometimes I feel like I can’t get out of the gates because of the fear I will fail even more. But I realize that I’m far too attached to both my future potential and my past failures. In this episode we will try and let go of these attachments, finding ourselves in the space between the future and the past - the present moment. “In the stillness of quiet, if we listen, we can hear the whisper of the heart giving strength to weakness, courage to fear, hope to despair.” - Howard Thurman --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/angie-winn/messageSupport this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/angie-winn/support
April 10, 2023
“Why are you looking for the living amongst the dead?” Theangels asked the women at the empty tomb.
Countless times I have looked for the life my soul yearns for– purpose, guidance, love, healing, relief, peace – in places of death. Thoseplaces of death are old habits, or places that we believe will give us life, whichare destructive and lead to dead-ends.
Today we will identify something that is life-giving that wewant more of and reflect on where we are trying to get it, and what keeps usstill going back to those places of death. We will then come back tointegration and wholeness in our life-giving tent.
“COME TO THE EDGE.”
“No, we will fall.”
“COME TO THE EDGE.”
“No, we will fall.”
They came to the edge.
He pushed them, and they flew.
Apollinaire
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April 3, 2023
Pursuing a just world is what we are called to do. Yet oftenwe do this by yelling on the streets or arguing over concepts, all the whileforgetting to love.
Our presence is what makes a difference. Our presence iswhat can change the world. Being compassionate, listening to another person,caring for them – that’s what can soften a heart and move us toward others, insteadof perpetuating the divide among us.
Love can never really grow if it makes comfort zone a home.
There will be times when love requires you to shed old skin
And embody something new. You can re-create your love asmany times as you need…
Love can only exist where vulnerability exists.
Love can only exist where honesty exists.
Love can only exist where judgment doesn’t exist.
Comfort Zones, BillyChapata
Chameleon Aura
First reading Isaiah 42
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March 27, 2023
In his book, When Stillness Speaks, EckartTolle says:
“When you completely accept this moment, when you no longer arguewith what is, the compulsion to think lessens, and is replaced by an alertstillness. The mind is no longer labeling things…inner non-resistance opens youto the consciousness that is infinitely greater than the human mind.”
How many times throughout the day do we resist accepting thepresent moment – accepting what is? I find myself constantly in inner-conflict,role-playing a phantom conversation that allows me to win or be perceived asgood, or fixating on a situation that I am trying to control the outcome. Thisinner-dialogue and resistance doesn’t allow me to be present. And letting go ofinner-resistance can open us up to the wisdom within and the wisdom of God and greaterconsciousness. When we let go of resistance, things often get better on theirown. The present moment actually has a lot to offer, we just have to accept it.
Our listening portion today:
Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is afield. I'll meet you there.
When the soul lies down in that grass,
the world is too full to talk about.
Ideas. language, even the phrase "each other"doesn't make sense.
-Rumi: Quatrain 158", in Open Secret: Versions ofRumi
photo credit: Callum Skelton on unsplash
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March 20, 2023
We have everything we need. I don’t always believe that. Ioften prefer to believe I can figure out everything on my own. But when I dothat, I am stuck in my head, feeling constricted and stale, instead of feelingalive and connected. Today I will tell you a story about how I wrecked a snowmobilelast week, and how I was able to humbly wake up through human love and nature.Then we will go through the Pause with the intention of letting go andawakening ourselves to love.
Our listening portion today is from a Center for Action andContemplation meditation from 3/20/23, and it quotes Teresa of Avila:
Remember:if you want to make progress on the path and ascend to the places you havelonged for, the important thing is not to think much but to love much, and soto do whatever best awakens you to love.
https://cac.org/daily-meditations/let-nothing-frighten-you-2023-03-17/
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March 6, 2023
I listened to a podcast the other day the cited research on gratitude. Gratitude changes the brain! But what is surprising is what kind of gratitude – it is in receiving gratitude, not giving it, that changes things inside of us.
Today we will listen to a few brief stories about receiving gratitude, and then identify our own memory of when someone was grateful for something we did.
Listening portion today:
For my part, I am almost contented just now, and very thankful.
Gratitude is a divine emotion: it fills the heart, but not to bursting; it warms it, but not to fever.
Charlotte Bronte
Science of Gratitude and How to Build a Gratitude Practice – Huberman Lab Podcast
https://hubermanlab.com/the-science-of-gratitude-and-how-to-build-a-gratitude-practice/
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February 27, 2023
I find that my “way” is to bring my problems and agenda into my tent (my place of supposed stillness and integration) and try to solve them, instead of just being still. The pressures of the outside world squeeze out any time just be, so I end up “doing” in my tent, versus just being. And this just perpetuates the chaos!
If you can, get outside, or look out the window. Today we will be connecting with nature as we root ourselves into the soil and learn the beauty of being, instead of doing.
Listening portion today:
On days you can’t hear yourself
Slow down to
Let your mind and body
Catch up to each other
Stillness – Rupi Kaur
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February 13, 2023
We go through life creating the container by which we can feel safe, secure, and succeed. This sometimes means that our world becomes small, and meanwhile our soul was created uniquely to contribute to this world. Our soul was designed to dance – giving its gifts to the world.
Today we will use imagery to settle ourselves into the earth – rooting ourselves deeply in creation and breathing fresh air and life. We will connect with our source, and see what may be holding us back from exploring our soul and letting it dance.
Our listening portion today is an excerpt from the poem Sweet Darkness from David Whyte:
You must learn one thing.
The world was made to be free in,
Give up all the other worlds
Except the one to which you belong.
Sometimes it takes darkness and the sweet conferment of your aloneness
To learn anything or anyone that does not bring you alive
Is too small for you.
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February 6, 2023
When I am dealing with a situation where I feel out of control, neglected, or taken advantage of, I find myself bubbling up with anger and ready to fight. Often my way of expressing myself, whether in my head or through words or actions, is not aligned with my values, and tends to make the situation worse. In this pause, we will allow ourselves to feel what comes up in our body when we are in these types of situations and allow ourselves to transform from a fighting or hiding stance, to a divine dance with God’s goodness, and then to a strong rooted stance that allows our next word or action to have integrity with who we are.
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Have you ever had a moment that some would call a peak experience? Where you feel whole and complete and content and like your soul is singing? Today we will talk about bringing these peak experiences down to the ordinary aspects of our lives - practicing getting out of our heads and being alive. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/angie-winn/messageSupport this podcast: https://anchor.fm/angie-winn/support
January 23, 2023
Sometimes the fog blocks are literal view of the landscape that we are in, and sometimes our own mental fog of trying to control and fix everything blocks our view as well. We are and have everything we need at this very moment – we just have to relax into it.
In this episode we will learn to relax into the openness in us that is already there.
Listening portion:
Oh do you have time to linger
For just a little while
Out of your busy
And very important day
For the goldfinches
That have gathered in a field of thistles
For a musical battle,
To see who can sing
The highest note,
Or the lowest,
Or the most expressive of mirth,
Or the most tender?
Their strong, blunt beaks
Drink the air
As they strive
Melodiously
Not for your sake
And not for mine
And not for the sake of winning
But for sheer delight and gratitude –
Believe us, they say,
It is a serious thing
Just to be alive
On this fresh morning
In this broken world.
I beg of you,
Do not walk by
Without pausing
To attend to this
Rather ridiculous performance.
It could mean something.
It could mean everything.
It could be what Rilke meant, when he wrote:
You must change your life.
Invitation, Mary Oliver.
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January 9, 2023
Using our talents, gifts and skills for our own achievement and contribution to the world is obviously a great goal. Yet when we end up building our lives on these things, protecting them at all costs, and they become our identity, they act as barnacles on the bottom of our boats, keeping us from moving in the world with humility and freedom.
Today we will spend time being grateful for a talent, gift, or skill that we have cultivated in our lives. Then, we will look deeper to see what inner motivation or need may be driving it, so we can move freely and unattached.
Listening portion today:
Have the same mindset as Christ,
Who, being in very nature God,
Did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage;
Rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant,
Being made in human likeness.
And being found in appearance as a man
He humbled himself
By becoming obedient to death – even death on a cross!
Philippians 2:5-8 (CEB)
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December 19, 2022
Today’s episode is a simple visualization to help us get out of the chaos and fill the void in our lives.
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December 12, 2022
Often I am grasping, trying to find my way, trying to find my purpose in life, or where to live it out. I am discontent and looking outside of myself for the answers. Of course, this creates chaos in my surroundings and in myself.
Yet when I have seen God move significantly in my life, giving me a purpose and a place to live it out, it has been not from a place of me searching for the answers outside of myself, but from a place of being still and alert.
Today we will imagine God’s flame burning off the excess in us – those needs that keep us grasping or hiding. Then, we can notice the flame inside of our own hearts, which can propel us to move into the world and participate in healing, justice, and hope.
Listening portion today:
“Your word is in my heart like a fire, a fire shut up in my bones. I am weary of holding it in, indeed I cannot.” Jeremiah 20:9
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December 5, 2022
Advent is always a conundrum to me – there seems to be a stark contradiction between what is – in me, in others, in the world - and what we are supposed and intended to be.
Today we will allow the light to come in so we can see. We will look at ourselves, others, and the world through the lens of what is and what could be. We will let go of one thing that is holding back our light and intercede on behalf of another and of the world, so that collectively, humanity can become what it was intended to be – light.
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November 28, 2022
There are beautiful joys during the holiday season and intense stressors. Busyness, noise, and crowds can create some of the chaos during these times, and so can spending time with people that we love who are going through their own struggles.
In this episode, will practice a simple way to clear our tents of the burdens that we allow others’ to bring into our tents, freeing us up to participate in the process of helping another without it suffocating us and destroying our inner peace.
Our listening portion today:
A bird cannot hold its perch and fly. Neither can we grasp anything and be free.
-The Yamas and Niyamas, Deborah Adele
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November 21, 2022
I was stuck in a loop of chaos for so long, and no amount of knowledge I acquired created the shift I needed to live a life where I experienced stability. It was finally when I dedicated myself to meditation – the practice of quieting the mind – that I was able to release my inordinate attachments and feel a sense of transformation. Today we will do what we do in our pauses, and practice quieting our mind so that we can identify an attachment that tangles us like a root, and begin the process of lessening its chokehold on us.
Our listening portion today is from Romans 12:2
Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. NIV
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Sometimes it is very difficult to quiet our minds enough to know what it is we truly need. In this episode, we will go through a pause process that integrates centering prayer, and then I will lead us through an energy balancing meditation at the end.
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November 7, 2022
We may find ourselves in situations where it is not safe to speak or express our emotions. What do we do with that? If we don’t find a time to make room for ourselves so we can dig in deeper, then we will stuff our emotions down, which leads to many things, including apathy, doubt of who we are, and the worse – creating situations where we oppress another.
In this episode, we will think of a situation where there was not room for us to express ourselves. We will acknowledge and honor how it shows up in our body and try to release it. Then we will dig a little deeper into the three programs of happiness that are at play in us.
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October 31, 2022
Why do we need to experience some silence in our lives? Because our talents, our brains, and the world cannot determine who we are, solve all of our problems, and provide us a sense of wholeness and rest. We need to stop the compulsions of our false self and allow ourselves to be in silence for our true self, our inner diamond light, to be seen and validated by our creator.
Today we will experience some practices of silence, including body scans and centering prayer. Our listening portion is
Be still and know that I am God
Be still and know that I am
Be still and know
Be still
Be.
I also read the following quote and poem during the pause:
“Solitude is the furnace of transformation … (It) is the place of the great struggle and the great encounter – the struggle against the compulsions of the false self, and the encounter with the loving God who offers (God’s self) as the substance of the new self.” -Henri Nouwen
Gather Me to Be With You
O God, gather me now
To be with you
As you are with me,
Soothe my tiredness;
Quiet my fretfulness;
Relieve my compulsiveness;
Let me be easy for a moment.
O Lord, release me
From the fears and guilts
Which grip me so tightly;
From the expectations and opinions
Which I so tightly grip,
That I may be open
To receiving what you give,
To risking something genuinely new,
To learning something refreshingly different.
O God, gather me
To be with you
As you are with me.
Amen.
Ted Loder, Guerillas of Grace
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October 3, 2022
Too much! Do you ever feel like a sponge that can no longer take on any more water? You are at full capacity? We take on burdens of the world, of ourselves, of others. We are worried about today and tomorrow and have a pile of tasks and unmet expectations knocking at our door.
In this episode we will try and squeeze out all of these burdens, worries, judgements, and expectations so we can come back to that place inside of us that is still, whole, and at peace.
Our listening portion today is from Thomas Keating, an amazing contemplative Catholic monk who passed away several years ago.
This Presence is so immense, yet so humble; awe-inspiring yet so gentle; limitless, yet so intimate, tender and personal. I know that I am known. Everything in my life is transparent in this Presence. It knows everything about me – all my weaknesses, brokenness, sinfulness – and still loves me infinitely. This Presence is healing, strengthening, refreshing – just by its Presence. It is nonjudgmental, self-giving, seeking no reward, boundless in compassion. It is like coming home to a place I should have never left, to an awareness that has somehow always there, but which I did not recognize.
Thomas Keating, Open Mind, Open Heart
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September 26, 2022
When things get messy, I want to intervene and make it better. Truthfully, I want to try to control the situation so I get my expected outcome. Yet when I can’t intervene, especially if it is a situation that someone else is going through, then my default is to just sit by the wayside, worrying, or trying to avoid the suffering it is causing by watching Netflix or utilizing some other numbing technique.
There is a third way. Intercession. Interceding on someone’s behalf is active. It requires great love, great empathy, humility, and an acknowledgement that we aren’t in control.
In today’s episode, we will identify a situation in our lives where we can’t intervene and move into the posture of interceding.
Listening portion today:
Romans 12:12
Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.
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Life is frenetic. There is a lot of noise out there in our world and in our internal beings. Analyzing things cognitively, problem solving the chaos away doesn’t always work. Sometimes we just need to pause. Sometimes we just need to see where we are on the continuum of chaos and stability, and just pause.
Our Listening Portion today:
Be still and know that I am God
be still and know that I am
be still and know
be still
be
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August 29, 2022
I almost didn’t do my own pause this morning because it didn’t feel productive. I have been running so fast lately and I have so many things to do. But I forced myself. And then when I did pause, I kept resisting the temptation to get up and send an email or add something to do my to do list.
Pausing is hard. Yet if we want to live a life of integration, intention, and impact, we have to come back home to our true selves. We have to find ourselves. So that is what we will do today.
Listening portion today:
The sea can do craziness, it can do smooth,
It can lie down like silk breathing
Or toss havoc shoreward; it can give
Gifts or withhold all; it can rise, ebb, froth
Like an incoming frenzy of fountains, or it can
Sweet-talk entirely. As I can too,
And so, no doubt, can you, and you.
Mary Oliver, A Thousand Mornings.
www.angiewinn.com
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August 22, 2022
Dropping off a child at his or her new chapter in life is brutal. We just dropped off our oldest son for his second year in college, and it still left a feeling of a gaping hole in my body. We try to distract ourselves or stuff down our feelings, but invariably they show up at the worst times – like the chicken aisle at the grocery store.
Breath is the only thing that can pour into that gaping hole. Breath brings healing. Life. Breath settles our bodies, quiets our distracted minds, and allows our heart to feel. Breath connects our souls with God, our creator, for healing, guidance, and wholeness.
Listening portion today:
“After you have suffered a little while, God will restore you, confirm you, strengthen you, and establish you.”
1 Peter 5:10
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August 15, 2022
There are times when you get hit out of nowhere with criticism that knocks you off your kilter. I call these “two by fours.” When we expect to get hit with criticism from a person, we immediately put ourselves in a defensive, flight or fight stance.
Today we will look at an alternative way – one that brings stability to our bodies and open ness and presence to our entire being. We will practice indifference, or non-attachment to the outcome.
Our listening portion today is from Ram Dass.
A feeling of aversion or attachment toward something is your clue that there's work to be done
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August 8, 2022
My 19-year old son and I hiked Angel’s Landing in Utah a few weeks ago. It is a narrow path with cliffs that plunge 1400 feet down on each side.
When we started, my body said no way. I was completely fragmented, and physically felt anxiety rise up in me.
When we are in high-stress situations, often times we keep pushing through it, ignoring the signals our bodies are trying to send us. We desire to accomplish our goal, to win in a conflict, to flee, so much that we don’t stop to gather ourselves and be fully present for what we are engaged in. That can lead to a crash after the event, a response that we regret, or an opportunity we were too afraid to take.
In today’s episode we will reflect on a time in the past or one coming up in the future where we need to take a pause, gather ourselves, and walk into the situation fully present.
Listening portion:
“a peaceful abode, a tent that will not be moved; its stakes will never be pulled up, nor any of its ropes broken.”
Isaiah 33:20
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Episode 59: Active Resistance
August 1, 2022
When we are resting in our true selves, we are whole, integrated, and feel a sense of peace. Yet there are many distractions that constantly beckon us to engage – and they get us out of this place of rest. We cannot simply desire to be our true selves, we have to actively resist what competes for our attention. This could be our need for perfection, our constant comparing of ourselves to others, our need to fit in, our need for certitude, etc. We have to actively resist these things so that we can live from a place of stability and wholeness
In this episode, we will imagine ourselves at rest, and notice those things that are vying for our attention. We will imagine actively resisting them by letting them go. As we resist, and rest in who we truly are, we will be set free for service in the world, but from a place of our true selves and wholeness, connected to God. And that is what will change the world.
Our listening portion today is taken from Psalm 116 and 62:
“In God alone is my soul at rest.
Return to your rest, my soul.
Set me free for your service.”
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July 11, 2022
We find ourselves in situations and relationships where we suddenly are surprised by our reactions. They seem incongruent to who we really are. We may become silent, withdrawn, lash out, promise something we know we don’t want to do or simply cannot do, or justify our response by blaming others. We become chaos.
This is in great contrast to how we feel and respond in the world when we are free, when our true selves are fully present in the situation.
Richard Rohr says, “remember, it’s not the brand name that matters. It is that God’s heart be made available and active on this earth.” Our “brand name” is our false self, trying to meet an expectation of the world or of ourselves, instead of allowing our heart to be made available and active on this earth.
In this episode we will be identifying a situation or relationship where our brand, or the perception of us, matters most. We will try to understand the underlying motivation behind it, and let it go. So that our true selves can be set free from the cage, and our actions and interactions can be aligned with our heart.
Listening portion:
“If you cling to your life, you will lose it; but if you give up your life for me, you will find it.” Jesus. Matthew 10:39
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June 27, 2022
With all that is going on in the world, we may feel either compelled to do something, or we feel compelled to escape and hide, leaning on our distractions to stop the discontent we feel welling up inside of us.
Before we act, re-act, or hide, we need to pause. We need to pause because we need to connect ourselves to our true self, and to God, the divine, the universe.
In this episode, we will think of an issue in which we feel compelled to act. We will notice how it feels throughout our bodies, minds, and hearts, and then we will identify if we have our own ego driving our need to act. Then, we will go through our pause practice, settling our bodies, quieting our minds, opening our hearts, so we can connect our true self to God. As a new action rises up, we will go through the process again, identifying if it is coming from our false self/ego or our true self.
Our listening portion today is from Simone Weil, a philosopher, writer and activist.
“Attachment is the great fabricator of illusions; reality can be attained only by someone who is detached.”
Waiting for God, Simone Weil, 1951.
By the way, my book is now published on Amazon - Kindle, Audible, and paperback versions available. Pausing in Motion: Cultivating Resilience and Stability for a Life of Intention and Impact
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June 13, 2022
Why do you pause? Why do you take this moment and stop, so that you can tend to your body, mind, heart, and spirit?
I know for me, although it brings peace and groundedness to my moment of chaos, it also has become the way I can help put my ego in the back seat everyday. And when I do that, I can actually see, discern, move and love in a way that does not expect anything in return. I can be transformed and that transformation can spill out over into my actions.
In today’s episode we will picture ourselves in a wide-open tent, where we feel grounded, calm, clear, and open. We will experience how it feels to be a peace. And then we will identify a situation in our lives where we are opposite of that – and imagine bringing our tent to that situation.
Our listening portion today is from Rilke’s Book of Hours:
Each thing –
Each stone, blossom, child –
Is held in place.
Only we, in our arrogance,
Push out beyond what we each belong to
For some empty freedom.
If we surrendered
To earth’s intelligence
We could rise up rooted, like trees.
Instead we entangle ourselves
In knots of our own making
And struggle, lonely and confused.
So, like children, we begin again
To learn from the things,
Because they are in God’s heart;
They have never left.
Ranier Maria Rilke, Rilke’s Book of Hours, translated by Anita Barrows and Joanna Macy
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June 6, 2022
There is so much despair and hopelessness right now in our world. I know for me, it makes me either feel paralyzed – unable to move to do anything to help because I can’t see how my little self can actually be helpful – or it makes me want to grasp at finding a purpose and a path for me to help change the world – which causes swirls of dust in the midst of my own chaos, and doesn’t end up helping anything at all.
Today we will pause so that we can see the signs of hope in our lives, even if they are little signs. And let go of the things that keep us paralyzed or grasping, giving ourselves a chance to really see – see beyond the reality and see the signs of hope. From that place, we can begin to notice the stirrings of our souls as we connect with our creator and our led to participate in the hope and healing of the world.
Our listening portion today is from Hebrews 11:1
Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.
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5/23/2022
Rest is a big buzz word these days. But resting is hard. Relaxation, on the other hand, is easy. But I find relaxation, although helpful at times, to simply be a momentary break, and sometimes just a way for me to avoid the restlessness inside of me.
Today we will try to get to real rest - which is where our worthiness lies - by letting go of the things that we relentlessly pursue to give us a sense of control and power, acceptance and approval, safety and security. We will rest through surrender, receiving love, and trust.
Listen:
wait...
do not run away
do not make plans of your own doing
do not be troubled
but wait
be still
be quiet
surrender
receive
trust
wait....
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5/16/22
So much pain, expectations, responsibilities, other’s opinions, etc. get layered upon our true self and cover up who we are designed to be. These things constrict our capacity to love. In this episode we will be exhaling negativity so that our tent, or the place where our true self dwells, can expand. We will sit in silence using a meditation method called Centering Prayer, and then we will let go of what is keeping our light from expanding. Our listening portion is from Isaiah 54:2-3:
“Enlarge the place of your tent,
Stretch your tent curtains wide,
Do not hold back;
Lengthen your cords,
Strengthen your stakes.
For you will spread out to the right and to the left;
Your descendants will dispossess nations
And settle in their desolate cities."
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5/2/22
Our beliefs are important to us and can fuel our passion and action. But when we do all we can to fortify those beliefs, holding armor in our hands ready to fight or flee when our wall of belief gets rubbed up against, we expend a ton of energy - usually leading to our own unhealth.
In this episode, we will think of a belief we have and a person or situation that rubs up against that belief, and getting curious about our reactions to it and what lies underneath it.
Listen: John Mayer – Belief
Is there anyone who
Ever remembers changing their mind from
The paint on a sign
Is there anyone who really recalls
Ever breaking rank at all
For something someone yelled real loud one time
Oh everyone believes
In how they think it ought to be
Oh everyone believes
And they're not going easily
Belief is a beautiful armor
But makes for the heaviest sword
Like punching underwater
You never can hit who you're trying for
Some need the exhibition
And some have to know they tried
It's the chemical weapon
For the war that's raging on inside
Oh everyone believes
From emptiness to everything
Oh everyone believes
And no one's going quietly
We're never gonna win the world
We're never gonna stop the war
We're never gonna beat this
If belief is what we're fighting for
We're never gonna win the world
We're never gonna stop the war
We're never gonna beat this
If belief is what we're fighting for
Is there anyone who can remember
Ever surrender, with their life on the line
We're never gonna win the world
We're never gonna stop the war
We're never gonna beat this
If belief is what we're fighting for
We're never gonna win the world
We're never gonna stop the war
We're never gonna beat this
If belief is what we're fighting for
What puts a hundred thousand children in the sand?
Belief can
Belief can
What puts the folded flag inside his mother's hand?
Belief can
Belief can
Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: John Mayer
Belief lyrics © Goodium Music
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More than likely, you have felt a stirring, passion or desire to be or do something throughout your life. For me, I used to write poetry and music for an audience of one. But we end up giving that passion up because the world tells us these passions are unproductive, or we aren’t good enough, or we need to be practical and focus on building a life that the world says we should live. That passion is like a small flame inside of us, and we build a wall of expectations and agendas and shame and guilt, and the flame barely gets any oxygen.
In this episode, we will identify that flame and imagine watching God crash into our walls to get to that flame and help it grow into a fire that can help bring light and love into the world.
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Episode 50: Sight in the Darkness
4/11/2022
These Pause practices are not simply ways of self-care. If that were the case, then when we feel unworthy in our beings, or when we feel a sense of darkness or chaos in our lives, we most often will push self-care practices out of the way. Yet if we practice these pauses as ways of seeing, seeing the light in the darkness, gaining clarity of sight for our circumstances, then we aren’t just getting a “break” to then keep walking, we are “seeing” so we can walk differently.
In today’s episode we will take a look at a place in our lives that feels dark, confusing, or chaotic, and shake ourselves loose and open ourselves up so we can begin to see the light and the way to go.
Please excuse the background noise, I am outside on a beautiful breezy Spring day.
Listen:
John 1:5 “The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it”
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4/4/2022
I just launched a book last week, and it feels like I gave birth to a baby. The problem is I have been so buried in the details of editing and getting it to done, that I didn’t have the time to determine what happens to it when it actually is published. So in a flurry of activity last week, I barely had a moment to celebrate because I was deep in the mire of “ok, now what do I do with it?”
In this episode, we will pause and be present and grateful for a gift in our life. We will let go of what is next, or how we can make the gift last longer or be better and instead just bask in the wonder and awe of the gift. We will attempt to embody this grace given to us.
For the Listening section, we will be listening to the portion of a poem by my dear friend, Angela Griner.
Gratitude is the hard, heavy, way
the muscle-building, aching way-
that clears the senses
opens the wounds
for finished healing
raises up the native joy
to tame the wild beast
Giving Thanks, Angela Griner, Blessings the Waters
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Sometimes we don’t know what we need. We are too exhausted, busy, confused, depleted, to even determine what it is we need in that moment to feel a sense of equanimity and wholeness. Our false self, or ego, stands at the top of our castle, in charge, keeping our body from settling, our mind from quieting, our heart from opening. Our true self is hidden in a locked treasure chest, behind a fortified gate and a vast moat. We don’t seem to be able to get to our true selves.
In today’s episode, we will use the analogy of the castle, and tend to our bodies, minds, and hearts to uncover and release that diamond light, or true self, inside of us. When that is free, we will discern what we need to be or do today in order for that true self to expand and radiate throughout our interactions and our tasks.
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3/21/2022
There are times when we can be totally consumed and self-absorbed by something. It can be a good thing – a project or task or relationship – but it can consume all of us and effect us physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. We can’t always let go of the thing, but we can take a pause and release the grip we have on it and it has on us.
In this episode we will try to counteract the effects that this thing has on us, by settling our bodies, quieting our minds, opening our hearts, and connecting our spirits to God, so we can come back to the thing with integration to our whole being and a sense of freedom.
Listen:
“Be still. Look. Listen. Be present.” -Eckart Tolle
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We have a center – our true self that is authentic. When we engage in relationships, projects, goals, etc. that aren’t aligned with that center, we experience chaos, confusion, and depletion. In today’s episode we will imagine our center and the areas in our life that are weakly connected to our true self. We will see if we can make the connection to our center stronger, or if we need to let them go.
Listen:
May you be strengthened through God’s Spirit in your inner being, and, being rooted and established in love, may have power to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
Ephesians 3:16-19, the Bible
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When we are depleted – physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually – we can feel imbalanced, confused, indecisive, grumpy, and all kinds of things that don’t feel productive. When we can’t take a day off or put aside the tasks at hand, we still can slow down and pause. But regaining energy is not a cognitive exercise – we have to integrate our entire self.
In this episode, we will pause, as we normally do, paying attention to all parts of us. I will integrate a few practices that can help us get into the present moment.
Listen:
Slowing down is….about lingering in the places we are not used to. Seeking out new questions. Becoming accountable to more than what rests on the surface. Seeking roots. Slowing down is taking care of ghosts, hugging monsters, sharing silence, embracing the weird…The idea of slowing down is not about getting answers, it is about questioning our questions. It is about staying in the places that are haunted.”
-Bayo Akomolafe, “A Slower Urgency: We Will Dance with Mountains”, taken from the book Crisis Contemplation by Barbara Holmes.
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One of the basic needs of being human is to have safety and security. We all deserve that and should have it for ourselves and help others have it – physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
But sometimes our identity is tied up into what we believe will give us safety and security, and make us whole, when really these are just false programs of happiness at play. When we are gripping onto these things tightly, we are either hiding – playing small and staying silent or striving – exerting ourselves in ways that aren’t aligned with who we really are. All to try and gain some sense of safety and security.
In this episode we will identify a time where we experienced chaos and look at the boundary lines we have created for ourselves. We will determine if our sense of worth is tied into the safety and security of these boundary lines, and then let them go, trusting in the boundary lines set out for us by our creator.
Listening portion:
Psalm 16: 5-8 NIV
Lord, you alone are my portion and my cup;
You make my lot secure.
The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
Surely I have a delightful inheritance.
I will praise the Lord, who counsels me;
Even at night my heart instructs me.
I keep my eyes always on the Lord.
With the Lord at my right hand, I will not be shaken.
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The heart is our organ of perception. As human beings, we naturally look to something or someone for our identity and sense of self-worth. And when we look to others for who we are, we create chaos, as we move towards that which brings us praise and away from that which we are told we are not good at or shouldn’t be. The perception of others dictates our way in the world.
These things are deep within us. Rock upon rock of our stone fortress has been built around our hearts for years. Our true self is hidden. Our worthiness feels nonexistent. Let’s get out of that stone wall and connect our true selves, our worthiness, to God.
Listen
“‘For I will take you out of the nations; I will gather you from all the countries and bring you back into your own land. I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you will be clean; I will cleanse you from all your impurities and from all your idols. I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit in you and move you…”
Ezekiel 36: 24-27, NIV, the Bible
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Letting Go: Part 1 – Control and Power When we create chaos either internally or externally, it is usually caused by our need to fulfill one or all of the three programs of happiness. In this episode, we will dig into one of those programs – our need for control and power. We will go through the be STILL Pause process by bringing to mind a personal chaotic story that is driven by our need for control and power. We will center ourselves to be able to see how it effects our body, mind, and heart, and then let go and surrender to the present moment. From a grounded place of what is, we can be led by our true self connected to God, the divine, the universe, to what could be. (over the next two weeks we will address the other two programs of happiness) Our listening portion today is from Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche, a Buddhist monk and international teacher. “All that we are looking for in life – all the happiness, contentment, and peace of mind – is right here In the present moment. Our very own awareness is itself fundamentally pure and good. Everything you ever wanted is right here in this present moment of awareness. Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche with Helen Tworkov, In Love with the World: A Monk’s Journey through the Bardos of Living and Dying (Spiegel and Grau: 2019).
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The Pause, or any contemplative practices that integrate body, mind, heart, and spirit, can transcend circumstances over time. In other words, the peace that you feel during a Pause can actually occur in other circumstances of chaos.
Today we will visualize ourselves at the top of the summit, with unobstructed views of miles of beauty. We will let go of our need for control and surrender, our need for acceptance and receive authentic divine love, and our need for security and trust.
Listening:
Maybe I Am Traveling (from The Book of Hours)
Maybe I am traveling, like some secret ore,
through the hard veins of a mountain, alone.
And I'm in so deep that I see no door
and no distance: nothing but a single core
that draws in all things and changes them to stone.
I don't have much wisdom about misery.
The darkness has made me smaller, it's true.
Are you the one solid enough? Come, break through,
so that all of your touch might happen to me,
and all of my tears might happen to you.
Ranier Maria Rilke
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We have a choice – to show up with our false self or our true self, every moment of the day. Yet without even realizing it, we easily slip into our false self masks, and our true self gets covered up.
In today’s episode we will notice our tendencies – notice how our false self is showing up and how it behaves. It may be striving, grasping, running, numbing, hiding – just to name a few. But it is all for the purposes of feeling a sense of false self-protection.
We will identify a mask in our current lives, and dig into its root, so we can let go and accept reality as it is, which is when movement towards wholeness and healing can take place.
For our listening portion today:
“Let Something Essential Happen to Me”
O God,
let something essential happen to me,
something more than interesting,
or entertaining,
or thoughtful.
O God,
let something essential happen to me,
something awesome,
something real.
Speak to my condition, Lord,
and change me somewhere inside where it matters . . .
Let something essential happen in me
which is my real self, God.
—Ted Loder, Guerrillas of Grace, 2004
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We make our new years resolutions and if you are like me, you mess up by January 3rd – missing the mark, not doing what we intended to do or being who we intended to be.
When we experience pain or frustration because of our own mistakes or someone else’s, it is easy to run into isolation and hide in the dark. Instead, we can go into solitude and connect with our creator, receiving love for our darkness and light, our achievements and our failures.
In this episode we will attempt to dig into why we hold onto our own self-judgments when we fail, let go of our tight grip, and receive acceptance and love for all that we are.
For our Listening portion today:
“We with our unveiled faces will gradually reflect like mirrors the brightness of God. All will grow brighter and brighter as we are gradually turned into the image that we reflect.”
2 Corinthians 3:18
*Throughout this episode, I quote a meditation from Richard Rohr titled “A Mutually Loving Gaze”, January 3rd, 2022
https://cac.org/a-mutually-loving-gaze-2022-01-03/
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When we experience stress or even what seems to be small moments of trauma, our bodies take it in. Our stress hormone increases, and we can find ourselves not sleeping, feeling jumpy at the slightest thing, mentally foggy, over-emotional or checked out, and just not present. We believe our faith should be enough to overcome these things. Yet when our faith is not embodied by our entire beings, then we relegate our faith to the limits of our mental and intellectual understanding.
In this episode we will identify an experience of stress and notice how it shows up as tension in our bodies, shortened or shallow breath, and what emotions it creates. Then we will release the effects that the stress has on us by settling our bodies, tuning into the present moment, inhaling and exhaling to bring our stress hormone down, letting go, and listening to our souls as we connect to our source.
Our Listening portion today is from Jeremiah 29:11
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
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Episode 37: The Great Gap
In this season as we prepare for Christmas, I often feel a sense of melancholy. Yes, there are so many things to do and fun to be had, but I get a very melancholy feeling inside when I stop the busyness, even for a moment.
I realized that what Christmas represents - from the Christian faith and also even from a secular perspective- is joy, peace, and love. Yet often the world doesn’t feel that way, even after Christmas has arrived. Instead, the gap between what is and what should be feels like the Grand Canyon.
In today’s episode we will let go of the things we hold onto, or that occupy our time or our minds, that keep us from being present in the moment, with its dark and light, that keep us from receiving the love of the divine versus clamoring for the acceptance and approval of others, and that keep us from trusting in our path versus trying to find security in a path that wasn’t meant for us.
Our listening portion today will be from Thomas Merton:
Inner silence depends on a continual seeking, a continual crying in the night, a repeated benign over the abyss…For He is found when He is sought, and when He is no longer sought, He escapes us.
-Thomas Merton
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Episode 36: Confidence
Confidence in our abilities often comes from the way the world perceives us and gives us feedback. That confidence is coming from our false self. Confidence from our true selves is when we are unfettered, unhindered by the world’s voices, and move throughout life as love. We love our neighbor as ourselves, or love our neighbor from a place of our true self, or God indwelling. Being confident doesn’t stem from our ability to believe in ourselves. It comes from our ability to shed what the false self told us who we were to begin with.
In this episode we will identify a characteristic in us that has allowed us to be successful. We will then determine if this characteristic feeds a need for control and power, approval and acceptance, or safety and security, which tells us it is a layer of our false self. We will let it go so that we can move forward from a place of our true selves – the center of stillness in us, our diamond light.
The man who cannot simply close his eyes
Knowing there is image after image
Far inside him, waiting quietly until night
To rise all around him in the dark it’s all finished for him, he’s just like an old man.
-Maria Ranier Rilke, translated by David Whyte
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Our first two episodes in this series of Mining Our Diamond Light addressed the walls we build or allow to be built around our true selves, which covers up our diamond light. The first part focused on not building any more walls, the second focused on knocking those walls down. In this episode, we will look at the walls we either create or fortify to block someone else’s experience of living out of their true self. We will first let go of any walls that we notice around our own hearts, and then identify a place where we created an obstacle for another, and let it go.
Our listening portion today is from Howard Thurman:
(Our) concern with the imperative for social action is not merely…to feed the hungry, not merely to relieve human suffering and human misery. If this were all, in and of itself, it would be important surely. But…the basic consideration has to do with the removal of all that prevents God from coming to…(fullness) in the life of the individual. Whatever there is that blocks this, calls for action.
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There are walls that have been put up in our lives that block our true self, our diamond light inside of us, from shining. These walls shape our way of being in the world, even if we don’t realize it.
In this episode we will identify a wall that has shaped our thoughts and actions, and either made us hide with shame or try to prove that these walls are wrong by striving. We will attempt to let their power over us go.
Our listening portion is from Henri Nouwen, The Way of the Heart: The Spirituality of the Desert Fathers and Mothers
Prayer is standing in the presence of God with the mind in the heart; that is, at that pint of our being where there are no divisions or distinctions and where we are totally one. There God’s Spirit dwells and there the great encounter takes place. There heart speaks to heart because there we stand before the face of God.
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Episode 33: Mining our Diamond Light: Part One We have a center of nothingness which is a place untouched by the world. It is our true self, our real nature, and we were born with it and are intended to live from it. We need to mine this diamond inside of us, not by striving to be someone else, but by knocking down the walls and relaxing into who we really are. In this episode, we will “mine” for that diamond light, and identify why we continue to build walls around our heart. We will see the true light inside of us, and let go of our need to build walls, so that our true diamond light can radiate and make the world a better place. “At the center of our being is a point of nothingness….it is like a pure diamond, blazing with the invisible light of heaven. It is in everybody, and if we could see it we would see these billions of points of light coming together in the face and blaze of a sun that would make all the darkness and cruelty of life vanish completely.” Thomas Merton
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Crossing the Lines of Our Lane
We can get caught up in the chaos of our own making when we think of what could be or could have been. We may find our emotions are strong and our desire for the outcome to be different than it really is. But if we allow ourselves this “egoic tantrum” for a moment, and we don’t shove it down, and then take a moment to be calm, we can see the inner motivations behind our desire to get out of our own lane, or the reality of what is, and let go. Once we let go of what could be or could have been, and we are in our lane or our boundary lines of the present, we can see the gifts that we would have never anticipated.
Our listening portion of the Pause today is from Rumi.
The Wheel of God
You are a wheel at which I stand.
Whose dark spokes sometimes catch me up,
Revolve me nearer to the center.
Then all the work I put my hand to
Widens from turn to turn.
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Episode 31: Needing to be Everything
We can be so invested in relationships, our work, or a specific event that we try to be everything in it and even try to control the outcome. We are simply one data point in a much larger picture of someone’s life or a situation. In this episode we will identify a circumstance or relationship in our lives where we want to be all. We will determine if there is an underlying motivation underneath that desire, and let it go.
Our Listen portion is a poem from Billy Chapata of the book Chameleon Aura.
Impenetrable
the softest people i know,
are the strongest people i know.
they have stories that could’ve broken them,
but they manage to take all of those pieces and reinvent themselves.
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We can’t will ourselves to be peaceful. Yet we have a true self inside of us that is peaceful. Thich Nhat Hanh, the Buddhist monk and activist, says that once we learn to touch the peace within us we can be healed and transformed. In today’s episode we will practice tapping into this peace inside of us through mindfulness exercises. We will then identify what it is that keeps us resisting that peace in ourselves, and let it go. Our listening part of the Pause is from Thich Nhat Hanh: Our true home is in the present moment The miracle is not to walk on water The miracle is to walk on the green earth in the present moment Peace is all around us, in the world and in nature And within us, in our bodies and our spirits Once we learn to touch this peace we will be healed and transformed It is not a matter of faith It is a matter of practice We need only to bring our body and mind into the present moment And we will touch what is refreshing, healing and wondrous -Living Buddha, Living Christ, Thich Nhat Hanh, 2010
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Sometimes I am so in my head that I walk around oblivious to my surroundings - kind of like a zombie. I am so fixated on whatever problem it is I am trying to solve that I disconnect myself from the earth, other people, and God, and I even disconnect myself from myself. In this episode we will identity what happens in our bodies when we are in our heads, what drives the need for us to be in our heads, & let it go. Our passage today is from David Whyte and is a modern poem based on a Native American elder story. Stand still. The trees ahead and the bushes beside you Are not lost. Wherever you are is called Here, And you must treat it as a powerful stranger, Must ask permission to know it and be known. The forest breathes. Listen. It answers, I have made this place around you, If you leave it you may come back again, saying Here. No two trees are the same to Raven. No two branches are the same to Wren. If what a tree or a bush does is lost on you, You are surely lost. Stand still. The forest knows Where you are. You must let it find you.”
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Come as you are…. This is very difficult to do. To accept where we are at the moment – with all of our limitations and unmet expectations. Yet if we accept where we are right now, that is when movement and transformation can take place. When we resist where we are by pushing through, pulling up our boot straps, trying to grasp at whatever it is we think we should achieve, that is when we create chaos in our lives. In this episode we will identify a situation right now where we feel limitations – whether physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, or even in our circumstance or environment. We will determine why we won’t accept where we are, and let it go. Our listening portion today is from Matthew 11:28-30 The Message version. “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”
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We grow up in a trench – a place of high walls with particular beliefs, opinions, ways of seeing, and ways of thinking. These walls are crucial as we grow up to help us form a sense of identity, but as we grow older, we may begin to feel suffocated by these walls, questioning what they represent, wondering if there is a bigger, vaster world out there.
After we settle our bodies and quiet our minds through breath, we will identify a belief, perception, or opinion that has acted like a root in our lives, holding us down into the trench. We will look at how it has its grip on us, and why we are allowing it to hold onto us so tightly. Then, by letting it go, we will be able to rise up out of the trench and be firmly planted on soil, opening ourselves up to a vast and connected world where we can experience freedom.
For our listen portion of the Pause, we will hear a line by William Blake,
“If the doors of perception were cleansed, everything would be seen as it is.”
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Holding space for someone else to share their burdens, concerns, hopes, stories, and trauma is a beautiful gift. Yet when we internalize what they share – in our bodies, our minds, our hearts, or our spirits – we can become off kilter, restless, and depleted. In this episode we will bring to memory a situation where we listened to another’s story and then we will release any piece of it that we may have internalized. So that we can hold space for others and maintain our own stability, instead of disintegrating into chaos. Listen: How surely gravity’s law Strong as an ocean current, Takes hold of even the smallest thing And pulls it toward the heart of the world. Each thing – Each stone, blossom, child- Is held in place. Only we, in our arrogance, Push out beyond what we each belong to From some empty freedom. If we surrendered To earth’s intelligence We could rise up rooted, like trees. Instead we entangle ourselves In knots of our own making And struggle, lonely and confused. So, like children, we begin again To learn from the things, Because they are in God’s heart; They have never left him. This is what the things can teach us: To fall, Patiently to trust our heaviness. Even a bird has to do that Before he can fly. -Ranier Maria Rilke, The Book of Pilgrimage
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To loft a ball high in the air, it has to be let go. We can’t rise up if we are tethered to something. In our lives we are bombarded by messages, indirectly or directly, verbally or not, that tell us who we are. We hear “You are” messages that are positive and negative. The problem is, both can be dangerous if we over-identify with them, absorbing them into our very being, shaping our interactions, our decisions, and our very way.
In this episode we will identify a message we have received of “you are…” a positive and “you are..” a negative, determine how tethered we are to these messages, and if we can and should let them go. Then we will listen to the poem I AM and receive a message for our true self that we can hold onto and rise up.
I AM…
Rooted like earth
Passionate like fire
Free like the wind
Vast like the water
Shining like the sun
Peaceful like the moon
Joyful like creation
Gentle like the grass
Patient like the oak
I AM LOVE.
-poem by Angie Winn
Referenced: Prayer: A Case Study in Mimetic Anthropology by James Alison.
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Why do we tend to resist great love, joy or sorrow? When the emotions begin to well up in us, we walk away, we make ourselves busy, we numb, we scroll, we indulge. We find a way to escape the moment because it just too intense. Maybe we are afraid the emotion will take us over. Maybe we think it won’t last, and it easier to end it before it ends on its own. Maybe we don’t think we can handle the intensity of the suffering, or we don’t deserve the immense love. Yet, as Richard Rohr tells us along with so many others, transformation occurs through great love and suffering. We just have to be present to it. In our pause today we will identify the mechanism we use to resist these feeling of intense love, joy, and sorrow. We will determine if this mechanism serves us, and then let it go. For our Listen portion of the pause, we will be using a practice called Imago Divina – or divine image. Finding an image in our present surroundings that represents glimpses of great love and joy. For more information on this podcast: angiewinn.com/pause
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Episode 23: Self-Emptying Kenosis is the practice of self-emptying – releasing our attachments to what we possess, both intangible and tangible – so that what we possess can be used for the movement of God – love, healing, wholeness of the world. In today’s episode, we will reflect on something we possess, how we react when it is threatened, what attachments of control, approval or security are tethered to it, and then let it go. And then we can see glimpses of God’s movement in it and with it – in it and with us. “When you take something you possess – your bread and power, abilities and identities, your comfort and control, your treasured structures and even life itself – and release your attachment to it and make it useful to God’s movement, that is when you are practicing kenosis.” -Stephanie Spellers, The Church Cracked Open: Disruption, Decline, and New Hope for Beloved Community (Church Publishing Incorporated: 2021) Support this podcast anchor.fm/angie-winn
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Meeting Chaos with Chaos Often we can find ourselves interacting with other people’s chaos - or their sense of striving to control, to be accepted, or to be secure – through our own sense of chaos. We meet other’s chaos with our own. When we feel depleted physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, we can absorb other people’s chaos and allow it to dictate our emotions and decisions and spin us even faster out of control. In this episode, we will identify situations where we have encountered chaos and tried to control it, listened to it as our validation or rejection, or looked to it for our security. We will let go of our control through surrender, let go of our needing acceptance through receiving acceptance of our true self, and let go of looking for security by trusting our connection with the divine. We need to clear out the decay and debris of our hearts to be able to see a clear path moving forward. Our Listening portion of the Pause is from Psalm 23, the message version. “God, my shepherd! I don’t need a thing. You have bedded me down in lush meadows, you find me quiet pools to drink from. True to your word, you let me catch my breath and send me in the right direction.” Support this podcast https://anchor.fm/angie-winn For more information on the Pause: www.angiewinn.com/pause
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Attachments from Scarcity
(previously recorded July 5th in front of virtual audience)
It is so easy to allow people and circumstances to take up a tremendous amount of mental and emotional space. These people and circumstances can cloud our view of our present moments and our view of our path. They become inordinate attachments, take such a priority in our space that everything else is pushed out.
Why does this happen? When we experience a sense of scarcity, desperation, fear, and disbelief, we connect ourselves to that which we believe will be the solution for this feeling. We create attachments during moments of scarcity. Yet when we are living abundantly from our true selves, we can see clearly and are able to discern what place they have in our lives.
When we let go of our need to substitute false attachments for our real soul’s connections, we move from grasping in scarcity to sitting and seeing in abundance.
“Only when we are able to “let go” of everything within us, all desire to see, to know, to taste and to experience the presence of God, do we truly become able to experience that presence with the overwhelming conviction and reality that revolutionize our entire inner life.”
Thomas Merton, Contemplative Prayer (Image Books: 1996, ©1969), 67.
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What we do or what roles we play are often essential and life-giving to us and to others. But often we over-identify with these things we are doing it in order to cover up some sense of unworthiness, wounds of our past, or shame. These layers are layers of false self, and block our ability to see and live out of our true selves. In this episode, we will notice something in our lives that we have over-identified with and let it go, so it can be put back in its proper place and not allow it to define who we are. We will use an image of a drop of water found in our artwork on this podcast to symbolize us coming back to our true selves - settling, resting. Contemplata in Latin means to see, and the Pause process is a collection of contemplative practices helping us to shed the layers that are blocking our ability to see our true self. In our listen section of the Pause, I will read a poem by Derek Wolcott called "Love After Love" The time will come when, with elation, you will greet yourself arriving at your own door, in your own mirror, and each will smile at the other's welcome, and say, sit here. Eat. You will love again the stranger who was your self. Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart to itself, to the stranger who has loved you all your life, whom you ignored for another, who knows you by heart. Take down the love letters from the bookshelf, the photographs, the desperate notes, peel your own image form the mirror. Sit. Feast on your life. Support this podcast https://anchor.fm/angie-winn
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We can become imbalanced - physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually - when we are striving to perform and to be productive. This striving is usually undergirded with a desire to be perfect, to be significant, to be needed, or whatever our inner motivation is to fulfill our self-worth. In this episode we will identify something that we are putting much of our time, energy, mental capacity, and resources toward and determine if it is making us become out of balance, and determine if there is an inner motivation driving us. We will go through the be STILL process and release it by Settling our body, Tuning into our minds, Inhaling and exhaling it to release it from our thoughts, Letting go of the inner motivation in our hearts, and Listening to our soul as it connects to the divine. The passage for Listen... There is a pervasive form of contemporary violence to which the idealist most easily succumbs: activism and overwork. The rush and pressure of modern life are a form, perhaps the most common form, of its innate violence. To allow oneself to be carried away by a multitude of conflicting concerns, to surrender to too many demands, to commit oneself to too many projects, to want to help everyone in everything, is to succumb to violence. The frenzy of our activism neutralizes our work for peace. It destroys our own inner capacity for peace. It destroys the fruitfulness of our own work, because it kills the root of inner wisdom which makes work fruitful. Thomas Merton
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We can’t always analyze why we are experiencing anxiety, melancholy, sadness, or other emotions. Memories and experiences can be trapped within our bodies and our subconscious, and sometimes it is difficult to name them. But we can still tend to our whole beings and help ourselves get back to a state of stability and balance in our inner selves. In this episode we will walk through the be STILL pause process and I will invite you to think of ways that you uniquely settle your body, quiet your mind, open your heart and listen to your soul as it connects with the divine, your creator. I will read a passage by Etty Hillesum, a Dutch author who was killed in concentration camp during the Holocaust. One must also accept that one has “uncreative” moments. The more honestly one can accept that, the quicker these moments will pass. One must have the courage to call a halt, to feel empty and discouraged. -Etty Hillesum
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I define resilience as “shortening the space between chaos and stability”, or the space between living from our false selves and our true selves. We can’t get away from experiencing moments in our lives when we think or behave in ways that aren’t aligned with who we were really created to be. But in cultivating resilience, we can recognize more quickly when we are in that chaotic state and move towards our true self. In today’s episode on Resilience, we will identify a time when we felt a sense of chaos or fragmentation and go through the be STILL process to integrate and let go of our layers and get ourselves back to our true core, back to stability. After settling our bodies, tuning in, inhaling and exhaling, and letting go, we will listen to this passage by author Glennon Doyle:
"The word humility derives from the Latin word humilitas, which means “of the earth.” To be humble is to be grounded in knowing who you are. It implies the responsibility to become what you were meant to become—to grow, to reach, to fully bloom as high and strong and grand as you were created to. It is not honorable for a tree to wilt and shrink and disappear. It’s not honorable for a woman to, either"
Glennon Doyle, Untamed
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Take a walk! If you can. Take a moment or 20 minutes to take a walk during this pause. If not, just sit back and follow along. I am excited to read a poem by Jonathon Stalls, and then guide us through the be STILL process, becoming aware of the sounds and sights around us, and identifying a particular burden or problem we are carrying around, and then letting go of the grip it has on us. I recorded this episode outside so you will hear lots of noises! Including my dog’s toenails on the dock and a fish jumping around in the water. Jonathon Stalls spent 242 days walking across the United States in 2010 and has continued to walk alongside thousands of people for thousands of miles. He is an artist, social entrepreneur, advocate for social, economic and racial justice, LGBTQIA+, Creator of Intrinsic Paths, and Founder of Walk2Connect. Jonathon finished his studies at the Living School for Action and Contemplation in 2017 and has committed much of his life to inspire a connection-focused walking movement to help people deepen and heal relationship to one another, to the natural world, and to themselves. Learn more about Jonathon on his Intrinsic Path website. www.instrinsicpaths.com Most of his income comes through supporters. Please consider supporting his good work. Find out more info here. www.patreon.com/home. Take More Time Take more time. Take more time for trust, weary friend. The animals know. The running stream knows. The trees know. Your deep heart knows. Letting go isn’t just walking away. ...it’s walking forward ...into the big field ...the one that wants all of you. No more walls. No more secrets. No more hiding. Take more time. Take more time for love, weary friend. Be here. Be still. The glow on the grasses ...as the sun rises and sets ...calls your full name. You are loved ...just as you are ...more than you will ever know. The animals know. The running stream knows. The trees know. Your deep heart knows. Take more time. Take more time to walk ...into the vastness of the unknown. Freedom. Freedom. Freedom. Yes, ...sweet water ...sweet sky ...sweet spirit of mine Freedom. -by Jonathon Stalls
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There comes a time in our lives when what our bones need is deep rest. What our hearts need is an open field to play and roam and be. Yet our minds keep us grinding at the wheel of productivity and cage in our hearts, so that we look acceptable to the world and to ourselves.
We must do, we can’t just be.
But if we don’t stop and be, we are going to break.
It is difficult to stop and rest because of the millions of things going on in our life. So we tend to find imitations for rest, like drinking alcohol to calm down so we can push through our schedule. In this episode, we will go through the be STILL process, and identify a way we may choose to fake rest, let it go (if we desire), and then listen to our souls as I read this passage:
Heaven does nothing: its non-doing is its serenity.
Earth does nothing: its non-doing is its rest.
From the union of these two non-doings
All actions proceed,
All things are made....
All beings in their perfection
Are born of non-doing.
Hence it is said:
"Heaven and earth do nothing
Yet there is nothing they do not do."
-Excerpt from "Perfect Joy", by Chuang Tzu
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In this episode we will look at our lives like an impressionist painting - a beautiful landscape or scene that has a million different dots of color, or moments. Sometimes we can forget to back up and look at the big picture, and instead we focus on the struggle of the moment, not realizing it is part of the tapestry of our lives. We will spend some time identifying a moment over our entire life that we are grateful for, then a moment of this past year, this past month, this past week, and this very moment. We will identify what it is we are holding onto that keeps us from being grateful in the moment, and attempt to let go of the grip we have on it. We will end with our Listening step, and I will read the following poem by Michael Kiesow Moore, cited in gratefulness.org. Climbing the Golden Mountain Listen. Turn everything off. When the noise of our lives drifts away, when the chatter of our minds sinks into that perfect lake of nothing, then, oh then we can apprehend that golden mountain, always there, waiting for us to be still enough to hear it.
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In this special episode I describe why I started the Pause, the structure of it, why it has the elements that it does, and what it is intended to do. This is a good episode if you have never gone through a pause before and want to understand a bit of its history and foundation. None of this is unique to me, it is simply what I have gathered and put into a process because of a desire to cultivate my own stability in the midst of everyday chaos. Many of these elements come from teachers across different faith backgrounds.
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Our pace of play, or the pace we are living, is often fast and frenzied. We are told we need to "rest", but rest is a luxury and self-indulgent. Yet by not resting, we become fragmented, disconnected and chaotic, running into others around us and eventually burning out from exhaustion. This episode helps us take a rest in the midst of our chaos, a brief pause that doesn't require a couch, so we can really see what underlies our hurried movement and tend to the emotions that we have hidden behind our walls of busyness. This episode is great while driving or walking because we won't close our eyes or do any stretching. Wheel of God You are a wheel at which I stand, Whose dark spokes sometimes catch me up, Revolve me nearer to the center. Then all the work I put my hand to Widens from turn to turn. -Rumi
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We each have a center of our being that Thomas Merton describes as “nothingness”. It is nothingness simply because it is not attached to anything and has no agenda. It is the place where we are the most free, full of love and life, our true self.
We often find ourselves in situations where this place of “being” doesn’t transcend into our “doing”, or our movement out into the world. Our true self may be love, patience, generosity, creativity – yet it does not show up in our daily circumstances. The moments of pause allow us to receive this sense of freedom and true self by touching the waters of our deep well, yet we block up, or dam, the flow of the waters as we interact with others. Why? We have our own agenda, or our own fears, and stay behind our self-protected walls.
In this session, we will identify that true self inside of us, and by thinking through a circumstance, we will begin to recognize and let go of the agenda that keeps the water from flowing.
At the Center of Stillness
At the center of stillness
we find Nothing.
A nothingness void of our accomplishments,
our needs,
our brilliance,
our failures.
At the center of stillness
there is nothing to do,
nothing to measure,
nothing to perform.
Pausing at the center of stillness
our breath stops,
all is quiet,
no measuring stick applied to our productivity
no opinion applied to our worth.
At the center of stillness
we find
nothing.
And that is where
we discover
Everything.
-Angie Winn
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In the noise and busyness of everyday life, we can find it hard to be fully present in the moment. In this episode we will imagine ourselves in a situation where we desire to be present - maybe a conversation with someone, in a meeting, cooking dinner, or even taking a walk - and we will identify and let go of that which keeps us from having fidelity to our whole being in the moment.
Listen:
There's too much noise in here.
Too much noise outside of my being.
There's too much noise inside of my head.
Quiet the clutter. Release the pain.
Let me be free.
So I can love better. So people aren't distractions and things aren't in the way of people.
Free me up, God, by grounding me in you. And keeping my eyes fixed on your skies.
-angie
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Have you ever spent some time alone in quiet, centering yourself, and found some peace, only for it to be gone as soon as ordinary life comes knocking on your door? We can be in a vicious cycle in our lives where we center ourselves and gain a sense of peace and clarity, and then something triggers us and we erupt – however that might look like for us. Carl Jung says that 10% of our thoughts and actions are conscious, and 90% are unconscious. The problem is we don’ t deal with and heal the things going on in the unconscious. Welcoming Prayer is a way of pulling out those unconscious parts of our selves by focusing on what is happening in our body – tension, pain, discomfort, other sensations – seeing what thoughts and emotions come up as we focus on that tension in our body, and then letting go of our inner motivations around that internal or external situation. The Guest House This being human in a guest house Every morning a new arrival. A joy, a depression, a meanness, Some momentary awareness comes As an unexpected visitor. Welcome and entertain them all Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows, Who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture. Still, treat each guest honorably, He may be cleaning you out for some new delight. The dark thought, the shame, the malice, Meet them at door laughing and invite them in. Be grateful for whoever comes, Because each has been sent As a guide from beyond. -Rumi Resource: Welcome Prayer, Consent on the Go; Contemplative Outreach Publication
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When we have agendas, plans, and expectations, and something comes in our lives to interrupt them, we can sometimes refuse to let go, creating a sense of disintegrated chaos for us and those around us. Yet when we take a pause and let go of our agenda, plans and expectations, we can experience stability in motion, and then we can rise up and make a positive impact on those around us.
"I have come
to drag you out of yourself,
and take you in my heart.
I have come to bring out the beauty
you never new you had
and lift you like a prayer to the sky."
-Rumi
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In this episode we will explore why we need silence and solitude and what to let go of internally and externally to protect it.
"Silence is the outer wall that we must build to protect an interior edifice."
"I am certain that silence is a divine liberation that unifies man and places him at the center of himself, in the depths of God’s mysteries. In silence, man is absorbed by the divine and the world’s movements no longer have any hold on his soul. In silence, we set out from God and we arrive at God."
The Power of Silence, Robert Cardinal Sarah
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In this episode, we recognize that it has been one year since the COVID lockdown. As the world slowly begins to open up, we are faced with transitioning again. And although some things may look the same, we know there are many changes that face us. With the help of a passage from Frederick Buechner's A Room Called Remember, we will examine what is old in us that we need to let go of in order for newness to come forth.
"WE FIND BY LOSING. We hold fast by letting go. We become something new by ceasing to be something old. This seems to be close to the heart of that mystery. I know no more now than I ever did about the far side of death as the last letting-go of all, but I begin to know that I do not need to know and that I do not need to be afraid of not knowing. God knows. That is all that matters.
Out of Nothing he creates Something. Out of the End he creates the Beginning. Out of selfness we grow, by his grace, toward selflessness, and out of that final selflessness, which is the loss of self altogether, "eye hath not seen nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man" what new marvels he will bring to pass next. All's lost. All's found. And if such words sound childish, so be it. Out of each old self that dies some precious essence is preserved for the new self that is born; and with in the child-self that is part of us all, there is perhaps nothing more precious than the fathomless capacity to trust." Frederick Buechner, A Room Called Remember
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We often measure our interactions, our relationships, projects and work by how society tells us we should. Did we win? Did it give us accolades? And although this way of measuring seems fine, if we are honest with ourselves, there is an underlying motivation to our actions. We measure our success by having more control or power, approval, security or safety. Yet what if we measure our “success” in a different way?
Fruits of the Spirit
The fruit of the spirit is
love,
joy,
peace,
patience,
kindness,
goodness,
faithfulness,
gentleness
and self control
-Galatians 5:22
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This Virtual Pause Podcast episode is specifically designed for kids and teens when they are feeling anxiety, stress, or dealing with a heavy worry or burden. It is a brief way to settle your body, tune in to what's going on, inhale and exhale to quiet your mind, let go of the burden, and listen to what your next step can be to help the burden become lighter.
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Our normal Virtual Pauses take about 30 minutes and are best done on a daily or a weekly basis when you can be undisturbed. Yet life doesn't always give us those 30-minute gifts! Often we find ourselves in a difficult, uncomfortable, or confrontational situation where we need to be still. This brief pause walks you through the be STILL process as you imagine yourself in a public setting and need a quick way to center yourself, so you can respond from a place of integrity to your true self, not with over-reactions nor with silence.
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Sometimes we feel like we are paddling so fast and furious, and we don’t stop and even realize where we are. Are we in the river of our bigger story or are we paddling in a retention pond we created ourselves? Are the waves the natural waves of a Class 4 rapid or are they caused by our splashes of unnecessary chaos? In this episode, we will be still and discern where we are and the cause of our movement, what we need, and what to let go of.
Poem of the One World
This morning the beautiful white heron
Was floating along above the water
And then Into the sky of this
the one world
That we all belong to
Where everything sooner or later
Is a part of everything else
Which thought made me feel for a little while
quite beautiful myself
-Mary Oliver
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Breath brings life into the places that feel like a wasteland or a valley of dry bones. In this episode, we will discuss the importance of deep breathing, we will settle our bodies, and we will be breathing in hope, courage, stability - whatever we personally need to bring life into this season of dryness. We will also be letting go of that which keeps us from embracing this breath that our lives so desperately need, and then listening to our souls as I read an excerpt from a poem on breath.
Listen:
I am the breath,
Life is the musician
You are the flute
And music, creativity,
Depends on all of us
You are not the creator
Nor the creation
We are all a part of the process of creativity
You life and
Me the breath
Let us play together
And rejoice for
Creativity is magic
Magic is change.
-Donna Marting
https://www.satoriyoga.ca/the-breath-poem/
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In this episode, I read an excerpt from Howard Thurman on "The Sound of the Genuine", a commencement speech he gave in 1980 to Spelman College grads. I pose the question "how can being still be enough in this time of so much pain, division, and injustice?" I lead us through a time to settle our bodies, tune into ourselves through our breath, and let go of that which keeps us from being still and from experiencing the sound of the genuine in us and in others. I then end with a chance to listen to our souls by reading the conclusion of Thurman's address.
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Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/angie-winn/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/angie-winn/support
Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/angie-winn/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/angie-winn/support