Uncomfortable Friend: Recent Episodes
April McCormick
Grief is an Uncomfortable Friend. The pain can be unbearable and yet, it's often one of the few things remain after the loss of something so special. Join me on the journey of "now what" after everything falls apart. My mission is to authentically share my story in an effort to help others feel seen, develop vocabulary around their grief, discuss finding oneself after loss, ways to feel comfort, how to establish meaning, and more. Nothing is off-limits… everyone’s path is unique. I’m honored to have you join me and look forward to your questions, comments, personal stories, and observations. Until we meet again...
Send us a Text Message.
There are several definitions of Joy and Happiness all over the internet, and I for one cannot tell you that I definitely know which is which... but I can share my current understanding of the two, and work through processing what those differences are. Through today's insights, I stumble my way through explaining how Lincoln has opened me up to the concept of joy, and how responsibility and freedom play a big role. I also challenge you to think about if you are loving like you ought, speaking like you ought, and living like you ought (notice I removed the "shoulds"), as I feel these few reflections can lead you down a more meaningful path to choose joy... regardless of the weight of the responsibility.
Until we meet again <3
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Like many of us, growing up, Rebecca had a script in her head of how her life should go. After adopting her children, her husband gave her an ultimatum that shattered her expectations. Today, she bravely shares some of her challenges and various tools and methods she has used to process the emotions (like anger!) in a healthier way. Through the grief and pain, she's been able to accept what is, work on her own feelings of guilt and shame, and help herself and organizations recognize what they fear and work toward a world where we integrate ourselves back to wholeness. I hope you enjoy the episode as much as I enjoyed speaking with Rebecca.
Resources:
- Where to find Rebecca:
- Website - Regenerative Workplaces
- TikTok
- DisruptHR - "Get off the $%@# Hamster Wheel"
- Onsite
- Yoga for Grief Workbook
Write Lincoln a Note: lincoln.m.mccormick@gmail.com
Until we meet again <3
Send us a Text Message.
Way back in Season 1, Episode 28 I discussed the difference between Love and Fear. Today, I honor that but do it Disney Frozen style. I talk about the characters, how they show up in both the positive and negative masculine/feminine energy, and the consequences of making choices out of fear. We also get to see what love looks like, through the lens of Anna, as well as an unfolding of stepping into your own power, and how to handle when grief comes knocking at your door...
Resources:
- Favorite quote of the episode "To expect anything of a woman is to trap the ocean" - Teal Swan
- Into the Unknown - Panic at the Disco!
- The Next Right Thing - Kristen Bell
Until we meet again <3
Send us a Text Message.
Emily Kelly-Peterson was surrounded by grief at a very young age. After years of witnessing friends, and even her own father, pass away, she started searching for answers and stumbled upon permission to "...live to the max." Please join us in our conversation around Huntington's disease and how Emily has dealt with some challenging questions while navigating her tough, yet joyful journey.
Resources:
- Emily Kelly-Peterson's Coaching Website
- Seattle Coach - Patty Burgin, MA, MCC
- Huntington's Disease
Until we meet again <3
Send us a Text Message.
Today I have a very short episode, but one that is extremely meaningful to me. I'm experimenting with what love looks like in the workplace, and how to be more intentional about where I put that energy. Through my thoughts around boundaries, hugs, feedback, and thank you notes, I come to realize an amazing gift that modern women have in today's workplace... the opportunity to model to others what work could look like if we poured more love and connection into it. Thanks for going on this journey with me, and as always, if you'd like to send me a note, be on an episode, or thank my beautiful son, Lincoln... you can email lincoln.m.mccormick@gmail.com or use the new fan mail option wherever you listen to podcasts.
Until we meet again <3
Send us a Text Message.
I had the honor of meeting Roger toward the end of 2023, and have been blessed to be on his podcast, "What Do You Know To Be True?". Today, he honors me with his presence as we talk about both the joy and grief associated with kiddos growing up and moving out of the house. I felt this topic was important as we embark on this graduation season, and know that Roger's important lessons like, "Time moves on and doesn't care whether you take advantage of it or not," is ever more true for me everyday.
Resources:
- Roger's Podcast: What Do You Know To Be True?
- My episode on Courage
- How to Stay Connected to Your Teenager
If you'd like to share your thoughts or comments on this episode, have an idea for an episode, or would like to be a guest, please reach out to me! Also, if you'd like to send Lincoln fan mail, you can write to him (and me) @ Lincoln.m.mccormick@gmail.com. I appreciate all of the messages and truly believe it keeps his energy and memory alive.
Until we meet again <3
Send us a Text Message.
We've all been there - in the heat of an argument or frustrating situation where our emotions start taking over. The adrenaline is pumping, harsh words are flying, and it feels like things are rapidly spiraling out of control.
In this episode, I unpack a passage from 1 Samuel 25 in which I discuss the invaluable role a trusted friend can play in being that voice of reason when we're on the verge of making rash decisions we may later regret. I talk about two significant times in my 20s when I was the wrong-doer and how my actions negatively impacted both myself, but the persons involved as well as my community. Keep listening, because toward the end, I even start having my own realizations of how the choice of discipline for our own actions and words is in itself a demonstration of love.
Resources:
- The Bible in a Year Podcast w/ Father Mike Schmitz
- In Sheep's Clothing by Dr. George K. Simon, PhD.
Until we meet again <3
Speaking with Patty has left a lasting impression on me. Throughout our conversation and her journey, she’s shared two amazing quote that ring true to me… first "The most important thing is what you do next," and "through grief I learned how big my heart could be." I hope this conversation inspires you to take that step into the wilderness and start living your life like it's the only one you get.
Resources:
- Seattle Coach
Until we meet again <3
Let's dive right into the complex topic of generational trauma - the emotional and psychological wounds that can be passed down through families over generations. I talk today about 7 basic ways that trauma forms over the course of our childhood, often without us even realizing it, and some methods for managing/stopping the cycle that work for me (when I can be present enough to use them).
Have you ever experienced...
- Your emotions being minimized - Being told your feelings are "not that big a deal" or to "get over it"
- Being told not to feel a certain way - being prohibited from expressing anger, sadness, or other "undesirable" emotions
- Someone comparing their experience to yours - "Your problems aren't as bad as mine were" or "back in my day..."
- Someone distracting or redirecting you instead of validating your emotions - Changing the subject rather than listening and acknowledging your feelings
- Expressing irritation or impatience with your emotions - Sighs, eye rolls, or blatant annoyance when you open up about how you're feeling
- Being called attention-seeking for having big emotions - Dismissing strong feelings as "drama" or you just wanting sympathy
- Your perspective being invalidated - Telling you you're "making too big a deal out of it" or that "it wasn't that bad."
Identifying these subtle patterns is the first step toward breaking free from the cycle of generational trauma. With self-awareness and compassion, we all can start to heal.
Until we meet again <3
In this deeply moving episode, I sit down with Emily Graham, an author, speaker, grief coach, and fellow bereaved mother, to explore the profound journey of grief and healing. Emily opens up about her beautiful son, Cameron, and the lasting impact of grief. Together, we discuss the love vs. fear, navigating friendship changes, and the delicate balance of managing limited energy amidst loss. Emily also discusses a powerful framework she uses to help her make decisions! I hope you enjoy our conversation as much as I do.
Resources:
- Confessions of Child Loss by Emily Graham
- Emily's Facebook Page
- After Child Loss - Helping Bereaved Parents Heal
Until we meet again <3
Grace is the disposition of offering kindness or compassion to yourself or someone else, ESPECIALLY when it's undeserved. Let that sink in for a minute! Today I delve into the profound concept of grace and its transformative power. Through personal anecdotes and reflections, I share how embracing grace has led me to release the burden of shame and through relatable examples and insights, I hope to show you how grace can become a guiding force for navigating life's challenges with compassion and understanding.
Resources:
- The Gifts of Imperfection - Brene Brown
Until we meet again <3
Ted opens up about his experience navigating the corporate landscape, sharing the grief he felt when his unique skills were overlooked. He takes us through the challenges of finding his place in corporate America, shedding light on the transformative moment that led him to reevaluate his path. Ted delves into his remarkable journey of turning adversity into triumph, channeling his storytelling prowess to focus on communication and development for university students. I hope you enjoy his valuable insights, lessons learned, and the inspiration behind his mission to empower the next generation of leaders.
Until we meet again <3
Lately I have been seeing and reading a lot of content around what positive masculine and positive feminine energy looks like. For too long we've seen the shadow sides of this energy play out in our communities and in politics. While I can't influence much of that, today I explore the my journey of embracing positive masculine and feminine energies within my marriage. I shares personal experiences of how my husband and I have stepped into these traits, and what has surprised me. Reflecting on this topic has truly brought about a transformative impact of embracing and balancing these energies in the context of a loving relationship... all of which I probably would never have found without Lincoln.
Resources:
- Divine Feminine vs. Divine Masculine
- Strong Fatherhood in a Soft World
Until we meet again <3
Today I engage in a profound conversation with Coach Karen, delving into the multifaceted aspects of grief, identity struggles, and the nuanced dynamics of personal and professional growth within the workplace. Karen shares her experiences witnessing various types of grief in organizational settings, shedding light on the impact these challenges can have on individuals and teams. We will also be unraveling the threads of workplace dynamics, resilience, and the pivotal role of emotional intelligence in leadership. This episode is a testament to the profound impact that thoughtful coaching can have on navigating the complexities of the modern workplace.
Resources:
- Karen Konrath
- Transitions Coaching
- karen@transitionscoachingllc.com
Until we meet again <3
When will this feel better? What does the work of grieving look like? If you've ever asked yourself these questions, I invite you to join me today as delve into the profound and often challenging journey of grief. Today I discuss the importance of doing the emotional work, and emphasize some paths I've taken on my own healing journey. Patience, self-compassion, and grace will be your loving guides along the way, and I can guarantee the process will lead you to a place where hope and joy can be found, while still having a deep and meaningful relationship to whomever or whatever you've been grieving.
Until we meet again <3
I'm so incredibly honored to introduce you to my friend, Courtney, and her beautiful light of a son, Lucas. This week we sit down with this resilient mama of four as she shares the heart-wrenching experience of navigating grief while also holding space for her surviving son. The conversation delves into the complexities of grief, exploring the unique challenges that arise when trying to support a child through the loss of a sibling.
Amidst the shadows of loss and infertility, Courtney reveals the glimmer of hope that has sustained her. The episode explores how she found strength in the midst of despair, ultimately uncovering a renewed sense of purpose and optimism for the future. Listeners will be moved by Courtney's resilience and inspired by her ability to find hope even in the darkest moments.
Resources:
- Helping Parents Heal
- Isabella Johnson - The Soul Reading Medium
Until we meet again <3
"It's my fault!", "I should have known this would happen", "I need to stay strong for..." do any of these statements sound familiar? I've recently read a book that opened my eyes to some deeply packed down trauma and the lies I've been telling myself over the years. I share some of these narratives today to hope it helps you to recognize what a lie could look like to yourself, give yourself a difference lens to look at it, and through your vulnerability acknowledge the struggle and what you've needed to embrace self-compassion.
Resources:
- The Body Keeps The Score - Bessel A. van der Kolk
Until we meet again <3
Hello again to the amazing listeners of Uncomfortable Friend. I've been so moved from some of your stories and emails over the course of recording that I've decided to come back with a Season 2! This time, we'll be talking about a wider variety of subjects including generational trauma, grace, masculine/feminine energies, and thoughts around active waiting. Most of all, I'm looking forward to introducing you all to some remarkable people share how they've transformed their journey of loss, trauma, grief, and sadness into something more meaningful to bring comfort and support to others.
Season 2 will begin January 3rd!
Hope you all have a restful and peaceful holiday season.
With love,
April McCormick (Host of Uncomfortable Friend)
Until we meet again <3
I've been so very blessed with the support I've received from hosting this podcast and sharing my story. Thank you for coming on this journey with me as I work to figure out life after the loss of my beautiful son, Lincoln. I've been recently motivated to combine my focus and use my energy for something that can be even bigger... what that looks like, I'm not sure yet... but when I start to get nervous AND excited, I'll know I've found it. Until then, thank you for letting me into your ears and for the beautiful messages you have sent me through Lincoln's email.
Resources:
- SeattleCoach
- Playing Big - Tara Mohr
If you'd like to be a guest and share your story of loss, grief, hope, and love, please reach out and I'd be honored to interview you. If you'd like to leave me a message, please email: lincoln.m.mccormick@gmail.com.
Until we meet again <3
Nothing stays the same, especially not grief. Impermanence is a fundamental concept in various philosophies and spiritual traditions, highlighting the idea that everything in life is in a constant state of flux and that nothing remains the same forever. This week doesn't have much structure... I discuss some observations from a walk we recently did to remember another beautiful child who has passed on, how challenging it's been to find space for grief with two young kiddos at home and the impacts of COVID on work, and share some memories while scrolling through some pictures of my son, Lincoln.
If you'd like to be a guest on an episode, would like to share a story of your beautiful child, and/or would like to send me a note, please email: lincoln.m.mccormick@gmail.com
Until we meet again <3
Have you ever let your emotions take over your thoughts? Use them to justify why you should or shouldn't do something or if you like or dislike someone? We all do it... and judgement can definitely be important... but how may we shift this thinking into something more meaningful? Something that allows you to better align your desires with the situation or people you're with? Bonus points if you can do that AND let go of what the outcome could be.
Resources:
- Center for Action and Contemplation
If you have thoughts on how you judge vs discern, would like to be a guest on a future episode, or would like to send me a note, please email: lincoln.m.mccormick@gmail.com.
Until we meet again <3
I am inspired by this concept of individuals known as "volunteers" or "volunteers from other dimensions" who have come to Earth to assist humanity during times of transition, struggle, and transformation. If you haven't listened to "The Matrix" and/or "Finite vs Infinite Game", you may want to listen for greater context, but I tried my best to make it as stand alone as I could within a 40ish minute time frame.
Resources:
- The Three Waves of Volunteers and The New Earth - Dolores Cannon
- The Team - Teddy & Frances Key
- Short Film by Charles Eisenstein (from Grief 2 Growth Channel by Brian Smith)
- Jesus Revolution
If you have thoughts or comments about what I've discussed, if you'd like to be a guest on my show, have an idea for a new episode, or would like to send me a note of encouragement, please write to lincoln.m.mccormick@gmail.com or april@mccormick.coach.
Until we meet again <3
"Before Lily and After Lily has marked my entire adult life". Today I have the honor of speaking with Ron, an amazing facilitator and volunteer, for the East Side Chapter of The Compassionate Friends, here in Western Washington. He taught me about the concept of "Collateral Losses", has been powerfully vulnerable with his struggles of grief, took me through how he became a volunteer, and most importantly, shared the brilliant light that Lily shone upon her family and exponentially growing number of friends.
Resources:
- The Compassionate Friends
- TCF Resources
- Ron's Facebook Book Club
- Coping with Guilt During Bereavement
If you'd like to be a guest on the show, have an idea for an upcoming episode, or would like to send me or Lincoln a note, you can contact me via email through lincoln.m.mccormick@gmail.com or april@mccormick.coach.
Until we meet again <3
I've been taking a coaching course on positive intelligence and found myself struggling with many of it's concepts as it relates to significant trauma and grief. Today I discuss a little of what I've learned around our saboteurs, our inner sage (or inner God), the gifts that we can pull from difficult situations and how I've been looking at positive intelligence as a way to processes my pain.
Resources:
- Positive Intelligence - Saboteurs by Shirzad Chamine
- Japanese art of Kintsugi
If you'd like to be a guest on my show, have a topic for a future episode, and/or would like to send Lincoln a note... please email lincoln.m.mccormick@gmail.com or april@mccormick.coach.
Until we meet again <3
I was so incredibly fortunate to sit down with one of the amazing facilitators of the Helping Parents Heal Seattle Chapter, Wendy, to talk about her "Firecracker" son Hugh. We discussed a variety of topics including the opioid epidemic, what she's learned from his life, surprising aspects of grief, how her views on life have changed, what has brought her comfort, and what she's doing now to honor her son.
Resources:
- GRASP
- The Shift Network
- Helping Parents Heal
- Give Back Foundation
If you have a story you'd like to share with Uncomfortable Friend, have suggestions for upcoming episodes, or would like to send Lincoln a note, you can email me at lincoln.m.mccormick@gmail.com or april@mccormick.coach.
Until we meet again <3
Until we meet again <3
This week I was motivated by Simon Sinek's talk about the Infinite Game. So much of our life, especially the first half of it, has us lost in a world of finite... did we get married, have children, have a good job, retire, etc...? But does this matter? What would it look like if we examined what an infinite game could look like in the major areas of our life? Listen along this week to hear my thoughts.
Resources:
- The Infinite Game - Simon Sinek
- Check out Paul's Blog post about S.N.O.W (See, Name, Own, Work)
If you'd like to share your thoughts on what your infinite game looks like for you, would like to be featured on my podcast with your story of grief/love/hope, or would like to send a note of encouragement, please contact me at lincoln.m.mccormick@gmail.com or april@mccormick.coach.
Until we meet again <3
Ok... I think I actually believe we are in the matrix... we are in a virtual reality, wearing a meat suit, experiencing this life through our consciousness. Did I lose you? Do you think I've gone crazy? Well, this week, I'll elaborate on what I mean by the matrix and dive into some philosophy that showcases that this is a topic humans have been thinking about for quite some time.
Resources:
- Grief2Growth - Awakening to New Realities with Mycailin Callahan
- Kegan's Theory on Adult Development - The Medium Article
- Meet Your Inner Mentor - Tara Mohr
If you agree OR disagree, let me know! I'd love to hear your insights. If you have an idea for the next episode or would like to be a guest, please write me at lincoln.m.mccormick.com. You can also find me at www.mccormick.coach or through my email april@mccormick.coach.
Until we meet again <3
I've been so very blessed to receive signs from my son, Lincoln, since his passing. They started out a bit obscure and over the years I've gotten more specific with what I've wanted. Today I share a bunch of signs that I've received, and encourage any of you who are missing a loved one to ask them for a sign of their love.
Resources:
- Helping Parents Heal
- Cate Coffelt - Pshychic Medium
- Water Lantern Festival
Have you received a sign from a loved one who's crossed over? How do you remember the love that you share? If you have an idea for a future episode, would like to be a guest and talk about your journey, and/or would like to send a note, please email lincoln.m.mccormick@gmail.com or find me on www.mccormick.coach.
Until we meet again <3
I planned for this episode to be a deep dive into the difficult decisions we make as parents, and ended up on a completely different tangent. I decided to share an amazing lesson about love (see link below), and go through some ah-has I've had this week. By no means is this an exhaustive list of love filled moments I've had the honor to experience, but it's a deep dive into what gives my life meaning, where I plan to put more of my focus and attention, and how love puts life in order.
Resources:
- Ed Mylett & Dr. Gladys McGarey Interview
- Crossing The River Seven Stories That Saved My Life by Carol Smith
What moments of love have you experienced? How has it impacted your life? What meaning has it given you? If you have an idea for a future episode, would like to be a guest and talk about your journey, and/or would like to send Lincoln a note, you can email me at lincoln.m.mccormick@gmail.com or www.mccormick.coach.
Until we meet again <3
Love despite imperfections demonstrates acceptance, understanding, and empathy to name a few. While this does not mean ignoring or condoning harmful behavior, it does acknowledge weaknesses and the continued necessity to work together to grow and support one another. Today I talk about the 8 categories of people (children, partner, friends, family, colleagues, acquaintances, strangers, and criminals) I'm working toward loving, and where I've had successes and failures.
Where do you struggle with your own or other's imperfections? If you have ideas for a future episode, would like to share your grief to hope story, or would like to send me a message, please email: lincoln.m.mccormick@gmail.com or find me on www.mccormick.coach.
Until we meet again <3
I truly believe that resilience is one of the six major gifts/lessons we come to learn here while on Earth. There's a lot of suffering that comes with life, AND life can be so beautiful. This week I explore Lucy Hone's TedTalk on the three secrets we can learn from resilient people and and how I've personally worked through them.
Resources:
- Helping Parents Heal
- Lucy Hone - 3 Secrets of Resilient People
- Bible Project - Job
If you have thoughts around where you like to focus your attention, or what has been helpful/harmful on your grieving journey, have ideas for an episode, would like to be a guest, and/or would like to send Lincoln a note, you can do so at lincoln.m.mccormick@gmail.com.
If you're interested in coaching, check me out at http://www.mccormick.coach.
Until we meet again <3
I feel like I've been going a million miles a minute. As more and more people wake up to the choices they have in life, a big one we uncover is about how we're spending our time. Maybe it's the post-COVID world that is trying to get "back to normal", but I have a feeling it's going to get a bit worse before it gets better. If you're feeling the same, join me as I discuss my struggles, some tactics for slowing down, how it's going, and what I'm experimenting with next.
Resources discussed:
- Outlive: The Science and Art of Longevity by Peter Attia, MD
- Meet Your Inner Mentor exercise from Playing Big by Tara Mohr
If you'd like to share what's helped you slow down, have an idea of an episode of Uncomfortable friend, would like to be a guest, or would like to send Lincoln a message, please email lincoln.m.mccormick@gmail.com. You can also check me out on www.mccormick.coach to learn more!
Until we meet again <3
Have you ever been listening to music in the car and immediately get taken to a place where you can feel the love and pain of loss? Just ugly tears rolling down your face, and yet you want to belt it through the roof? In today's episode, I share my "Good Ugly Cry" playlist... songs that have moved me to tears and continue to allow me to feel a special connection with my son, even if it stirs up some pain in the process.
My Song List:
- Drive - Incubus
- I Could Never Say Goodby - Enya
- How Do I Say Goodbye - Dean Lewis
- Boulevard of Broken Dreams - Green Day
- Tears in Heaven - Eric Clapton
- My Immortal - Evanescence
- Landslide - Fleetwood Mac
- I Will Always Love You - Whitney Houston
- In the Arms of the Angel - Sarah McLachlan
- I Will Remember You - Sarah McLachlan
- I Will Follow You into the Dark - Death Cab for Cutie
- The Scientist - Coldplay
- Learn to Love Again - Pink
- Diamonds - Rihanna
If you'd like to add a song to my "Good Ugly Cry" playlist, have an idea for an episode, or would like to send a message to my son, please email me at: lincoln.m.mccormick@gmail.com
Until we meet again <3
Choice is fundamental to our human existence. This week I talk about how choice has affected my personal autonomy, my self-expression, how it's empowered me, helped me to learn and grow, and how it's also a responsibility that I have to myself and those around me. Choice saved my life... understanding that loss and grief wasn't happening to me, and that I had a choice in what I do with it has made all the difference.
References made during the episode:
- My Big Toe - Thomas Campbell
- Chat GPT
If you want to share reflections on how choice has impacted your life, you have an idea for a new episode, you want to be a guest on an episode, or want to send a note to Lincoln, please email lincoln.m.mccormick@gmail.com.
Until we meet again <3
Parenting is a FULL TIME job that never ends... it can feel impossible to think we are ever doing something right... or when we do something well, the game changes and our kiddos require something different. Today, on the upcoming 5 year anniversary of my son Lincoln's passing, I take some time to discuss some of my parenting highlights through 2023 that have been inspired by him and his impact.
If you'd like to share something you're proud of, have thoughts/ideas for a topic, would like to be a guest to talk about your own journey, or just want to send Lincoln a note, please do so! lincoln.m.mccormick@gmail.com.
Until we meet again <3
It's probably not surprising that there's a lot of darkness that comes with grief... however, so many people feel scared or ashamed to talk about it. Today I touch on 8 different aspects of the dark side of grief in hopes to shine a light on these very real and human feelings: Guilt, anger, ambivalence, physical symptoms, longevity, existential questions, and loss of safety/control.
If you have similar or different experiences with the dark side, I'd be honored for you to share them with me. You can check out my website or send Lincoln an email at lincoln.m.mccormick@gmail.com.
Until we meet again <3
Someone recently asked me... "Can you tell me how you decided to make the choice to have children?" If you read the news, the worlds feels like a scarier place every single day. She had heard that I wasn't the "motherly" type growing up and was looking for some data points on my decision, especially since I seem to be extremely content with my choice. That got me thinking, and today I share my thoughts around the decision to have children, especially after loss of a child.
If any part of this episode has touched you, you have a question/idea for an episode, or if you'd like to send Lincoln a note, please email: lincoln.m.mccormick@gmail.com.
Until we meet again <3
Does silence make you uncomfortable? Do you find yourself wanting to fill the void with TV, social media, or gaming? Today I explore what happens when you allow for silence, what I've observed, and offer a challenge to those who are listening...
If you'd like to share what revelations you've had with silence, you have a question/idea for an episode, or if you'd like to send Lincoln a note, please email: lincoln.m.mccormick@gmail.com.
Until we meet again <3
In this episode I explore how I evaluate what would be the response of fear vs. love. I've mentioned a few different times that I think this is the ultimate decision we have, but what does it look like in application? Today I give some examples for my family, my children, my marriage, and at work. What are some situations that you experience where you aren't quite sure what the love response would be?
If any part of this episode has touched you, you have a question/idea for an episode, or if you'd like to send Lincoln a note, please email: lincoln.m.mccormick@gmail.com.
Until we meet again <3
"Shut up, Rachel!"... Rachel is the name I give to the negative critic in my head, not because I've ever met a bad Rachel, but because I most frequently get called Rachel by mistake. Well she is an expert at blame... especially a blame directed toward others. In this week's episode, I talk about how blame shows up for me and what I do about it. I also offer a load of resources to help you learn more about your own internal critic. Send Lincoln a note if you have named your critic too! I'm sure he'd love to hear it.
Resources:
- Illeism - Thanks Dave Stern for giving me vocabulary around this!
- Brene Brown on Blame
- The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown
- Gist: The Essence of Raising Life-Ready Kids by Michael W. Anderson, LP, and Timothy D. Johanson
If any part of this episode has touched you, you have a question/idea for an episode, or if you'd like to send Lincoln a note, please email: lincoln.m.mccormick@gmail.com.
Until we meet again <3
Establishing true confidence is really tricky. There are so many experiences that can take it away: Failure, criticism, comparison, trauma, shame.... Today I talk about some of my life experiences that broke my confidence, especially the loss of my son and the medical challenges of my daughter, and how some great resources have helped me to re-establish that. If you want to learn more about how to build your confidence, and to use it for good in this world, please take a listen!
Resources mentioned:
- Gist: The Essence of Raising Life Ready Kids
- Pastor Jerry Flowers - Check out his Planted Series!
If any part of this episode has touched you, you have a question/idea for an episode, or if you'd like to send Lincoln a note, please email: lincoln.m.mccormick@gmail.com.
Until we meet again <3
I feel a sense of relief that I never questioned whether or not I "should" talk to people about Lincoln, especially my kiddos. While I have no clue what's "right", I share how my family has chosen to remember him, some of the items and traditions that we have, some of the conversations I have with my kids, and the surprising questions I've been asked.
Resources:
While not mentioned in the podcast, I wanted to offer some resources on talking to young children about loss.
- Sesame Street Episodes About Grief
- Helping your child when a loved one dies
If any part of this episode has touched you, you have a question/idea for an episode, or if you'd like to send Lincoln a note, please email: lincoln.m.mccormick@gmail.com.
Until we meet again <3
My husband Kevin has left for a work trip to India. The last time either of us were apart internationally, our son Lincoln died. In this episode, I talk about the leading indicators that let me know I was numbing the pain I expected to feel, and the process I've grown to use when doing the hard work of incorporating and moving forward from a trigger. Borrowed from a beloved Disney Frozen 2 song "The Next Right Thing", I talk about how seeing too far into the future is unbearable, yet if we lean into the next breath, step, and choice that we can make it can be truly healing.
For any of you that make it through to the end, I did get my eggs Benedict.
If any part of this episode has touched you, you have a question/idea for an episode, or if you'd like to send Lincoln a note, please email: lincoln.m.mccormick@gmail.com.
Until we meet again <3
I had the honor of speaking with my friend Katie about the love and loss of her sweet husband, Charles. She graciously shares some of her amazing adventures with Charles, how grief has changed over the last few years, challenges, comforts, and how she seeks meaning. She is such a light. I hope you enjoy our discussion.
Resources:
- If you find yourself at Arlington National Cemetery, pay your respects to Charles in Section 60 site 11190
- TAPS
- Good Grief Camp
If any part of this episode has touched you, you have a question/idea for an episode, or if you'd like to send Lincoln a note, please email: lincoln.m.mccormick@gmail.com.
Until we meet again <3
Before and after our recorded conversation, Katie shared with me so many cards that she and Charles wrote to one another while they were apart. It was truly a gift to witness the love these two have. They were each other's person. I hope that as you listen, it gives you strength to ask a bereaved friend or family member about their person. Sure there are some tears, but I think you may be surprised to hear all of the laughter that we shared this day. It brings us such comfort to say their names and share a lovely story. The bonds we have in this life surely transcend our transition into the next chapter and beyond.
Until we meet again <3
I continue my interview with my husband Kevin covering the topics of grieving at work, the many kinds of grief and the challenge of relating, humanizing aspects of grief, and the future.
If any part of this episode has touched you, you have a question/idea for an episode, or if you'd like to send Lincoln a note, please email: lincoln.m.mccormick@gmail.com.
Until we meet again <3
In today's episode, I have the first half of an interview I did with my husband, Kevin. We sat down and discussed how becoming parents has changed our relationship, how we've grieved in similar/different ways, leveraging our relationship as a tool while suffering, and some things he does differently after loss.
Resources:
- Swallowed by a Snake
- Provide me feedback via a quick 1 minute survey.
If any part of this episode has touched you, you have a question/idea for an episode, or if you'd like to send Lincoln a note, please email: lincoln.m.mccormick@gmail.com.
Until we meet again <3
EVERYONE struggles to make decisions. Are we doing the right thing? What happens if we make the wrong choice? Today, I wrap up my mini-series about managing and take more time to dive into the Love-Fear decision making model that I've been using since Lincoln's passing. I hope it helps empower you to align your decisions with what means the most to you.
Resources:
- Jyoti Patel - Spille:Play
- When Breath Becomes Air - by Paul Kalanithi
If any part of this episode has touched you, you have a question/idea for an episode, or if you'd like to send Lincoln a note, please email: lincoln.m.mccormick@gmail.com.
Until we meet again <3
I used to be very direct with feedback when speaking about what's going well and what needs to be fixed, however, that doesn't always present in a loving way. What would it look like if you helped someone grow even when giving constructive or "consider" items to develop toward? Lincoln showed me that EVERYONE is valuable and how can we encourage and support these skills to benefit the lives of those around us, especially at work.
Resources:
-Employee Feedback Form
If any part of this episode has touched you, you have a question/idea for an episode, or if you'd like to send Lincoln a note, please email: lincoln.m.mccormick@gmail.com.
Until we meet again <3
Almost every person I've been talking to has been dealing with some amount of burnout. As a people manager, over the last few years, I've seen it countless times at work AND I've experienced it myself. Today I talk about similarities between grief and burnout, how others have shown up for me when I'm feeling this way (thank you Lincoln for giving me the courage to be vulnerable at work), and tactics I've tried to help support my employees through it to. I hope the gifts of grace, compassion, and empathy that Lincoln has taught/is continuing to teach me can help inspire you on your journey as well.
Resources:
- Sparke Type Assessment - It's Free!
If any part of this episode has touched you, you have a question/idea for an episode, or if you'd like to send Lincoln a note, please email: lincoln.m.mccormick@gmail.com.
Until we meet again <3
I continue my interview mini-series with my Aunt Kathy who we affectionately call Kiki. She's been the matriarch of our family as long as I can remember, and I discuss what grief has been like for her growing up, what it was like when she heard the news of Lincoln, what's changed since then, and the importance of family and what family means to her. I feel so blessed to have been able to spend this time with her and feel so fortunate to have this interview for posterity.
If you've enjoyed this interview series, you have a question/idea for an episode, or if you'd like to send Lincoln a note, please email: lincoln.m.mccormick@gmail.com.
Until we meet again <3
My best friend, Christina, has shown up for me in such a supportive way my entire life, but especially through the loss of my son. Today we discuss how she's supported me, how Lincoln impacted her life, and the special meaning and impact our children have on our lives.
If any part of this episode has touched you, you have a question/idea for an episode, or if you'd like to send Lincoln a note, please email: lincoln.m.mccormick@gmail.com
Until we meet again <3
Waring: This episode may be difficult for folks who are especially sensitive to death*
In today's episode, I interview my sister Jordyn. She's a pediatric oncology nurse and we talk about her experience of the loss of my son Lincoln, grief in healthcare, and what she's learned about death. She also shared some resources that she recommends families to review if they are in the unfortunate situation to make tough choices and if you want to know more about what it's like being a nurse in this tough environment.
Resources:
- Documentary: End Game
- Documentary: Extremis
- Documentary: A Lion in the House
If any part of this episode has touched you, you have a question/idea for an episode, or if you'd like to send Lincoln a note, please email: lincoln.m.mccormick@gmail.com.
Until we meet again <3
Someone recently asked me what I would have done if I didn't have faith... the answer is, I don't know... but I also don't know if I have faith the way they meant it. Today I discuss growing up as an "Easter Sunday" Catholic, how it's changed over time, especially after loss, and the focus it provides me now. I don't impose my faith or thoughts on anyone else, but I also believe my journey to understanding that which is unknown has been aided but some fundamental stories found through faith.
Resources:
-Jordan Peterson Biblical Series
-SOLT
If any part of this episode has touched you, you have a question/idea for an episode, or if you'd like to send Lincoln a note, please email: lincoln.m.mccormick@gmail.com.
Until we meet again <3
Our closest relationships are tested after experiencing complex grief. Today, I get very candid about my marriage after the loss of our 15 month old son. While there has been great joy in welcoming our two additional children to the family, we've also experienced a lot of darkness. I talk about these experiences and feelings, and the choices we've had to make which has allowed us to strengthen our relationship.
If any part of this episode has touched you, you have a question/idea for an episode, or if you'd like to send Lincoln a note, please email: lincoln.m.mccormick@gmail.com
Until we meet again <3
I'm intimately familiar with how grief has shown up and changed over the last four years, but it's only recently where I can recognize how grief has been showing up for my husband. In this free form episode, I discuss how we've grieved, the challenges of grieving differently, the necessity of resources to find support, and more.
Resources:
- If Anything Happens I Love You (warning: contains sounds of gunshots)
- Focus on the Family
If any part of this episode has touched you, you have a question/idea for an episode, or if you'd like to send Lincoln a note, please email: lincoln.m.mccormick@gmail.com.
Until we meet again <3
Suffering is pain, or at the very least, uncomfortable. It's part of the human condition and something that can have amazing power to transform. In this episode I discuss what suffering is, what I think causes it, how I'm trying to embrace it, how to help regulate myself when I'm suffering, and the meaning it provides.
Resources:
- Coach Michel Spruance
- From Contempt to Curiosity by Caitlin Walker
If any part of this episode has touched you, or if you'd like to send Lincoln a note, please email: lincoln.m.mccormick@gmail.com.
Until we meet again <3
I stopped believing in resolutions when my son died. What was the point? What good did they do? Instead, I try to work on some perspective... a new challenge... that can continue my path of healing. In today's episode, I share my "mantras" over the last 4 years since Lincoln died, and what my focus will be for 2023.
If any part of this episode has touched you, or if you'd like to send Lincoln a note, please email: lincoln.m.mccormick@gmail.com.
Resources:
- Instagram: @PagetKagy
- Instagram: @attachmentnerd
- Quote by Andre Malraux: "You did not come back from hell with empty hands"
Until we meet again <3
I am surprised how much grief has affected my memory, and especially my ability to relive the most special moments I had with Lincoln. Today I share a few memories invoked from pictures, how some dreams I've had feel like extra memories, and how sharing memories of a loved one with a grieving person can have a meaningful impact.
Resources:
- Locket Photos by Bryan Clark
- No Matter What by Debi Gliori
If any part of this episode has touched you, or if you'd like to send Lincoln a note, please email: lincoln.m.mccormick@gmail.com.
Until we meet again <3
In the Northern Hemisphere, the Winter Solstice (December 21st) is recognized in many Western Christian denominations as "The Longest Night". Typically, services are held to hold space for those who have lost a loved one and are experiencing grief. Today's episode is dedicated to how I've experienced various holidays as a bereaved mother over the last 4.5 years, what's changed, and alternatives to "Merry Christmas" or "Happy Birthday".
If any part of this episode has touched you, or if you'd like to send Lincoln a note, please email: lincoln.m.mccormick@gmail.com.
Until we meet again <3
How do you make sense of a world where your child could die? Why do we face so many challenges and so much suffering? In this episode I attempt to put together different puzzle pieces of what I think this life is meant to be. It's definitely not as polished as other topics I've covered, but I hope it helps you feel more comfortable in your search and struggles, and gives you grace to continue your own journey of discovery.
Resources:
- Journey of Souls: Case Studies of Life Between Lives by Michael Newton PhD
- Where Did You Go? by Christina Rasmussen
- Living Buddha Living Christ by Thich Nhat Hanh
- Expecting Sunshine: A Journey of Grief, Healing, and Pregnancy after Loss by Alexis Marie Chute
- Instagram @ katie__jameson
If any part of this episode has touched you, or if you'd like to send Lincoln a note, please email: lincoln.m.mccormick@gmail.com
Until we meet again <3
Have you seen unconditional love? Do you remember how you felt the first time you recognized it? Lincoln grew my heart in ways I didn't know could exist, and today I'm sharing some of the insights of what I've discovered unconditional love looks like for your kiddos, yourself, and your partner. Thanks for listening!
Resources:
The Four Laws of Love - Jimmy Evans
If any part of this episode has touched you, or if you'd like to send Lincoln a note, please email: lincoln.m.mccormick@gmail.com
Until we meet again <3
Have you ever experienced the awkwardness of sitting in a room where no one is willing to discuss the major issue because it's uncomfortable? Well with grief, my son Lincoln is always that topic, and as many parents know, once you've had a child it's a major relationship you love to share. Today I talk about what it feels like to be in that situation, some ways I've brought up Lincoln with people who know me and with strangers, and some additional gifts I've found through this experience.
Until we meet again <3
We all form a set of rules to live by, or paradigm, that we build in pieces over time based on interactions with our families, care givers, friends, and community. What happens when you reach rock bottom and your paradigm shatters? In this episode, I explore the loss of my paradigm, strategies I tried to employ, and five things I've learned to be true as I re-build my world view.
Resources mentioned in the podcast:
- Knowing Better: Hitting Rock Bottom | Just World Shattered Assumptions
- Once More We Saw Stars - Jayson Greene
- To Heaven and Back - Mary C. Neal M.D.
- Looking into the Windows of Heaven - Fara Gibson
Forgot to mention, but another amazing story:
- When Breath Becomes Air - Paul Kalanithi
If you'd like to share your thoughts, or would like to send a quick note to Lincoln, I'd be honored for you to contact us at lincoln.m.mccormick@gmail.com
Thank you for your support!
Until we meet again <3
When someone you love dies, it's so very easy to get overwhelmed with thoughts of "What if?" Today I talk about some what ifs I experience from my loss, how I process them, and "escape hatches" I use to pull me out when what if doesn't serve me anymore.
Additional resources I've shared in this podcast:
www.grief2growth.com by Brian Smith
www.sepsis.org
Youtube Short: Why Empaths Feel Bad - Teal Swan
If any part of this podcast has been helpful to you, or if you have your own thoughts to share, I'd be honored for you to write to lincoln.m.mccormick@gmail.com.
Until we meet again <3
Talking to someone about feeling angry is such a vulnerable thing to do, and when you're met with statements like "at least they aren't suffering" or "they wouldn't want you to be sad" it can be enough to make you want to scream. In this episode I talk about some aspects of grief that have made me really angry and then I share some ways I've worked to navigate through it, what it's taught me, and some amazing ways people have shown up for me in a meaningful way.
Until we meet again <3
Have you ever looked into someone's eyes to see a perfect version of who you are, who you didn't even know you could be, staring back at you? That was Lincoln, my beautiful son who passed away in June 2018. Today I share my story, different aspects of grief and loss, and my goal for future episodes to follow.
If some aspect of this episode has felt especially significant to you, I'd be honored for you to write a short note to lincoln.m.mccormick@gmail.com.
Until we meet again <3