Conflict Skills: Recent Episodes
Simon Goode
Learn Conflict Resolution skills from a professional Mediator.
In this podcast, we cover a range of practical tools to deal with conflict with confidence so that you can resolve issues and keep things contained.
In Episode 62 of the Conflict Skills Podcast, host Simon Goode delves into the complexities of "moving on" from conflicts, offering insights inspired by a listener's review about unresolved workplace issues. The episode explores the nuances of understanding individual perspectives on resolution, breaking down five types of apologies, and emphasizing the significance of trust and mindfulness. Simon also introduces Robert Greene’s concept of "ascending the mountain" to gain broader clarity and shares personal elements to consider in the process of moving forward.
SHOW NOTES:
Introduction
- Overview of the Conflict Skills Podcast
- Host: Simon Goode
- Focus: Resources for handling conflicts in various contexts
- Episode Inspiration
- Listener's review about unresolved workplace issues
Dealing with Unresolved Conflicts
Situations of Unequal Resolution
- One person feels resolved, the other remains upset
- Vice versa: The importance of aligning both parties
Apologies and Moving Conversations Forward
Five Types of Apologies
- Introduction to various forms of apologies
- Structured apologies as a tool for resolution
Robert Greene’s "Ascending the Mountain" Concept
- Overview from "The Daily Laws"
- Broader perspective over time
- Seeing situations more clearly
Personal Elements in Moving On
Five Key Personal Elements
- Cognition
- : How we think about the conflict
- Emotion
- : Our feelings about the conflict
- Perception
- : How we interpret the conflict
- Action
- : Steps we take toward resolution
- Physical Body
- : Physical responses and stresses
Moving On vs. Moving Forward
- Discomfort with the term "moving on" in contexts of grief
- Suggestion of "moving forward" as a more supportive term
The Importance of Trust in Moving On
Four Pillars of Trust
- Competence
- : Trust in skills and abilities
- Integrity
- : Trust in honesty and morals
- Benevolence
- : Trust in goodwill and kindness
- Predictability
- : Trust in consistent behavior
Acknowledgments and Structured Apologies
- Role of acknowledgments in the conflict resolution process
- Five types of apologies
- Importance and implementation
Managing Personal Feelings
- Strategies for struggling with moving on
- Altering perceptions
- Managing emotions through mindfulness
Conclusion
- Encouragement to reflect on personal approaches to moving on
- Insights into expectations and assumptions
- Invitation for listener feedback and future topic suggestions
- Highlighting the importance of reviews for podcast visibility
TIMESTAMPS:
00:00 Guidance on moving forward, apologies, trust-building.
05:14 Viewing change from a holistic self-perspective.
09:07 Accept differences, maintain boundaries, foster working relationships.
12:54 Rebuilding trust: Clear expectations and predictability.
17:25 Prepare for impact, then rebuild trust collaboratively.
21:18 Making up for mistakes with gestures.
23:34 Seeking reconciliation, offering support, moving forward.
27:32 Consider contexts, don't take actions personally.
31:01 Manage emotions deliberately using imaginative persp
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email: podcast@simongoode.com
In today's episode, we're diving deep into the art of analyzing workplace conflict situations. Join me as we walk through a strategic, step-by-step toolkit designed to help you better understand and resolve conflicts at work. We'll explore key topics such as self-awareness, the role of goal setting and understanding your circle of control, and the five types of conflict you may encounter. Additionally, we'll shed light on the Insight Discovery model for grasping personality differences and break down various conflict modes like competing, collaborating, and accommodating.
This episode is packed with insights on how to calm your physical stress responses through effective breathing techniques, and why strategic thought always trumps knee-jerk reactions. Whether you're a manager, team member, or just someone eager to improve your conflict resolution skills, this episode has something valuable for you. Let's embark on this journey together and transform our approach to workplace conflicts. And as always, I encourage you to reach out with your feedback at podcast@simongood.com. Stay tuned!
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In Episode 60 of the Conflict Skills Podcast, host Simon Goode analyzes three detailed case studies of workplace conflicts, offering strategies to address issues such as office music preferences, phone usage during retail shifts, and chronic absenteeism. Each case is examined through various levels of intervention, emphasizing the importance of open communication, empathy, and collaborative problem-solving. Listeners are encouraged to apply these insights to foster healthier and more productive workplace environments.
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email: podcast@simongoode.com
Welcome back to the Conflict Skills Podcast! I'm your host, Simon Goode, and today we're diving into one of the most requested topics—workplace mediation. Episode 59 is all about answering your frequently asked questions on how to effectively mediate conflicts within the workplace.
We'll explore the key aspects of ensuring a fair mediation process, from addressing power imbalances to determining the suitability based on safety, willingness, and capacity. Whether you’re dealing with minor disputes or major conflicts, we’ll cover the varying levels of formality—be it a simple meeting, a facilitated conversation, or full-scale mediation.
I'll walk you through the essential role of a mediator, how to establish clear ground rules, and strategies for managing high emotions using de-escalation techniques. We’ll also discuss how managers can promote mediation, handle refusals, and what steps to take if mediation doesn’t resolve the issue.
Remember, not all conflicts are best suited for mediation, especially in cases involving clear breaches of conduct or when parties are unwilling or incapable of participating. Stay tuned for some insightful tips and practical advice to enhance your conflict resolution toolkit. Plus, don’t miss our upcoming episode where we'll delve into real-world case studies!
Let's get started!
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email: podcast@simongoode.com
Welcome to the Conflict Skills Podcast, where we provide you with crucial tools and insights for effectively managing both workplace and personal conflicts. I'm your host, Simon Goode, a professional mediator, and today we dive into a particularly challenging yet essential topic: How to run a mediation between a manager and a staff member.
In Episode 56, we'll outline the entire mediation process—from determining its appropriateness to conducting pre-mediation meetings and managing the joint session. We'll also explore critical techniques like creating a balanced environment for contributions, de-escalating conflicts, and ensuring thorough follow-ups. Whether you're a mediator, manager, or team member, this episode will equip you with actionable steps to foster resolution and understanding in your workplace.
Stay tuned to explore how structured mediation can transform workplace dynamics and contribute to a more harmonious environment. Don't forget to engage with us through comments, feedback, or emails at podcast@simongood.com. Let's get started!
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In today's episode of the Conflict Skills Podcast, we're focusing on a challenge many of us face: how to say no to invitations from colleagues without causing offense. We'll delve into effective strategies to decline invitations gracefully, keeping relationships intact, particularly when these relationships are crucial to your work or personal life. I'll share insights on managing five key factors—status, autonomy, certainty, fairness, and relatedness—to help you communicate your decline in a way that is respectful and clear. Whether it's a social event or a professional project, tune in and learn how to handle these tricky situations smoothly. If you find our tips helpful, don't forget to subscribe or leave a review. Let's get started!
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In this episode of the Conflict Skills Podcast, host Simon Goode delves into five strategic approaches for negotiating a raise with your boss, focusing on various conflict types: data, interest, values, structure, and relationship. Through professional examples and personal anecdotes, Simon illustrates how to effectively prepare for these conversations.
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In this episode of the Conflict Skills Podcast, host Simon Goode delves into the common struggles parents face during morning routines and shares strategies to ease the chaos. He highlights the importance of maintaining a calm environment to prevent stress and conflict, emphasizing how morning turmoil can affect one's emotional state throughout the day. Through techniques like the GROW coaching model, Simon offers practical advice for fostering responsibility and problem-solving skills in children.
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In today's episode, we're diving into an essential toolkit for anyone dealing with conflict: the best questions for de-escalating tense situations. Drawing from my experiences mediating deeply entrenched conflicts and working in high-stress environments like youth crisis centers, I'll share specific types of questions that can help lower the temperature and foster more productive conversations. We’ll explore how to open dialogues with neutral questions, how to prioritize urgent needs, and how to maintain empathy and understanding throughout the process. Plus, I'll touch on the importance of tone, body language, and offering a sense of control to the other party. Whether you're managing workplace disputes or personal conflicts, this episode provides actionable insights to help you navigate tricky interactions with confidence. Let's get started!
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In this episode of the Conflict Skills Podcast, host Simon Goode delves into the importance of developing emotional awareness in navigating workplace conflicts. He explains a structured approach encompassing four stages: self-awareness, self-regulation, awareness of others, and the ability to influence others. Simon also provides practical tips and coaching questions for both individuals and leaders to enhance emotional intelligence and improve workplace relationships.
In this episode of the Conflict Skills Podcast, host Simon Goode delves into the issue of client scope creep, particularly in the construction and design sectors, and provides five conflict resolution strategies to address it. The strategies include addressing data, structural, interest, values, and relationship conflicts, offering listeners tools for effective negotiation and clear communication. Simon emphasizes the importance of understanding these different types of conflicts to better manage and prevent scope creep, ultimately fostering healthier client relationships
In Episode 51 of the Conflict Skills Podcast, Simon Goode provides a comprehensive guide on inheriting and managing a dysfunctional team, emphasizing the importance of starting with low-stakes interventions and understanding different types of conflicts. He elaborates on the phases of team development, the emotional toll on team members, and the pivotal role of self-care for leaders. With a focus on gradual, compassionate, and firm approaches, Simon shares his own experiences and offers practical advice for long-term team improvement.
Welcome to Episode 50 of the Conflict Skills Podcast! I’m your host, Simon Goode, a professional mediator here to guide you through the complexities of conflict management. In today's milestone episode, we dive into a unique application of the renowned GROW model—Goals, Reality, Options, and Way Forward—not for coaching others, but for self-care and avoiding burnout in the midst of conflict. Drawing inspiration from John Whitmore's influential book "Coaching for Performance," we'll explore how you can use this framework to navigate negative thought patterns, manage stress, and improve your well-being. Whether you're dealing with workplace disputes, family tensions, or simply trying to unwind after a hectic day, this episode offers valuable insights to help you regain control and foster a healthy mind. So, tune in and learn how to apply the GROW model for your own self-coaching journey. Let's get started!
00:00 Conflict Skills Podcast: Avoiding Common Conflict Mistakes.
04:07 Remaining calm can influence others' behavior.
07:20 People react defensively when put on spot.
12:35 Reduce perceived pressure for better conflict resolution.
15:52 Encourage collaboration, flexibility, and understanding in conflict.
17:07 Exploring solutions leads to positive change.
Here are three key takeaways from this episode:
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Understanding the Root Causes of Stress in Conflict: Our brains are wired to interpret conflict as a threat, triggering the fight-or-flight response. Recognizing this helps us understand why conflict feels so overwhelming.
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Impact on the Five Layers of Self: Conflict affects us physically, emotionally, cognitively, perceptually, and behaviorally. By identifying these impacts, we can develop tailored strategies for self-regulation and care.
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Practical Self-Care Strategies: Implementing self-care techniques such as good sleep hygiene, positive social interactions, and healthy emotional outlets (like exercise or creative activities) can significantly reduce the stress associated with conflict.
Take control of your conflict responses and bring more calm and composure into your life by tuning into this episode. 🌟
00:00 People differ on phone use at work.
03:48 Perspective in conflict: aiming for understanding.
07:30 Discussing compromises and collaboration regarding phone usage.
12:26 Addressing phone usage with honesty and empathy.
13:21 Supervisor's policy needs consistent adherence, discussion advised.
18:31 Addressing staff concerns with phone use sensitively.
22:36 Regulate calm, approach conflict as a process.
25:08 Developing conflict resolution skills leads to growth.
27:09 Get 50% bonus level of karma now.
00:00 Understanding and adapting to cultural communication differences.
06:18 Julia's disrespectful behavior towards staff is concerning.
08:09 Teacher aware of issues, feedback crucial. Adversarial approach ineffective.
12:23 Cultural differences affect workplace behavior and expectations.
14:39 Author advocates adult-to-adult communication over parental.
19:00 Open, collaborative approach to continuous improvement process.
22:58 Adapt, experiment, and grow to improve relationships.
24:27 Tips for handling cultural differences in conflict.
00:00 Living by a soccer field brings challenges.
04:05 Confronted ball issue assertively, then collaborated diplomatically.
07:20 Son enjoys soccer, supportive of team spirit. Loud music on Anzac Day disrupted peace.
11:53 Conflict resolution training challenges presenter's composed image.
13:48 Pervasive thoughts impacting work and relationships. Professional mediator's experience.
18:00 Flagging high volume music for weekend games.
20:34 Issues with soccer field noise, request for consideration.
23:45 Expressing desire for informal conflict resolution methods.
29:08 Positive discussion about noise control and understanding.
31:22 People react predictably in conflict situations.
35:39 Issue warning about noise, police and council.
36:40 Considering possible escalation in conflict situations wisely.
39:52 Responding to conflict with caution and self-awareness.
43:11 Transposing conflict resolution skills into daily life.
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00:00 Podcast host addresses irregularity and focuses on conflict reset.
06:12 Recognize mind-body connection for improved productivity.
09:04 Releasing stress through physical and emotional activities.
12:47 Shift toward mindfulness and holistic well-being.
14:41 Retain focus, assess conflict objectively, reset approach.
19:45 Interest in esoteric wisdom and energy flow.
23:18 Meditation helps with stress and reactions.
25:44 De-escalation training available as 2-hour webinar.
27:59 Consider leaving positive review and subscribing. Goodbye!
00:00 Empower, establish boundaries, and maintain impartiality.
04:13 Consider goals, avoid getting drawn into conflict.
07:56 Empower, impartiality, balance, manage conflict effectively.
12:17 Coaching approach for dealing with conflict positively.
16:35 Finding realistic working relationship, addressing communication.
17:50 Clarify words, attendees, meeting duration. Increase awareness and understanding. Develop nuanced options for effective solutions.
24:16 Increased stress can cause erratic behavior. Set boundaries.
25:39 Boundary setting and preparing for reactions.
04:01 Setting boundaries with roommates to reduce stress.
08:55 Steps for improving conflict: self-awareness, focus, perspective.
11:45 Seek self-fulfillment before seeking validation from others.
15:17 Housemate conflict is often about unspoken tension.
18:18 Informal situations may warrant keeping some records.
20:07 Establish clear structure and routines for harmony.
26:13 Navigating values conflict requires adding nuance.
28:21 Respect differences, focus on shared behaviors.
32:45 Prepare, raise, and remain calm during conflict.
37:14 Dealing with conflict with housemates: tools, resources.
🚀 Excited to share the latest episode of the Conflict Skills Podcast! 🎙️ In episode 41, "How To Rise Above Conflict," host Simon Goode dives deep into the strategies for managing and overcoming conflict in both your professional and personal life. Tune in for an enriching session that can change the way you handle disagreements and disputes.
Key Takeaways:
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🤯 Mastering Your Mindset: Learn how your thoughts and feelings not only affect you but also those around you. Discover the funnel analogy to gradually increase perspective and rise above the noise of conflict.
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🔄 Self-Regulation and Reciprocity: Gain insight into self-care strategies, managing your nervous system, and the importance of reciprocal spiral patterns in conflict resolution.
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🌊 The Power of Pause: Understand why slowing down and focusing on details is essential in regaining control after experiencing anxiety or conflict, as beautifully explained in Goode's book 'Waves.'
Don't miss out on these transformative insights! For those who strive for excellence in their communication and conflict resolution skills, this episode is a treasure trove. 🎧
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Introduction to Empathetic Listening
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Importance of empathetic listening for leaders
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How active listening skills enhance team management and conflict resolution
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Simon Goode's personal challenges with communication
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Utilizing Closed Ended Questions for Focus
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Effectiveness of closed ended questions amidst chaos
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Balancing with open ended questions for deeper understanding
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Examples in various scenarios, including family and the workplace
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Reflecting/Mirroring Techniques in Mediation
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Redirecting conversation and managing defensiveness
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Building trust through meaningful mirroring of language and sentiment
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The Value of Silence and Thoughtful Pauses
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Utilizing silence as a communication tool
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Cues that demonstrate active listening and consideration
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Communicating Empathy
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Nonverbal cues and verbal affirmations
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Acknowledging the significance of others' experiences
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EAR Model for Active Listening
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Explore: Using questions to understand perspectives
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Acknowledge: Validating experiences and emotions
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Respond: Appropriate responses including solutions and coaching
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Preparing for Detailed Discussions
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Scheduling in-depth meetings
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Prioritization of exploring and acknowledging issues
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Engaging Listeners and Seeking Feedback
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Encouraging listener participation in sharing challenges and techniques
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Requesting topics for future episodes
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Promotions and Resources
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Directing to website for additional training and courses
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Invitation to subscribe and leave reviews
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Philosophies in Active Listening
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Understanding the significance of status and autonomy in conversations
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Techniques to lower perceived threats for open communication
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The Knowledgement Phase
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Tentative reflections to avoid misunderstandings
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How to acknowledge without judgment
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Tentative Approach in Responding
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Summarizing the speaker's points with tentativeness
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Creating distance for impartiality and context integration
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Responding with Action
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Offering solutions, compromising, or deferring to others
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Coaching and negotiating as part of a leader’s response toolbox
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Recap and Final Thoughts
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Summary of key points discussed in the podcast
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Importance of prioritizing active listening and empathy in leadership
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Call to Action
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Inviting listeners to implement discussed techniques
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Schedule and topic preview for the next episode
00:00 Maintain respectful, open, calm communication to prevent defensiveness.
05:14 Prioritize and reinforce desired behavior consistently over time.
09:37 Be specific when communicating expectations.
12:27 Resolving conflicts and values in the workplace.
15:08 Options for addressing staff conflict, structurally and influentially.
19:57 Improve staff ability through environment and collaboration.
21:02 Influence conflict, positive reinforcement, communication, leadership tools.
In today's episode of the Conflict Skills Podcast, host Simon Goode delves into the challenge of dealing with aggressive clients. With a thought-provoking exploration of the underlying factors contributing to aggressive behavior, listeners will gain valuable insights on how to manage escalation, maintain composure, and set boundaries. Simon offers practical strategies for self-regulation, including breathing, mindfulness, and posture management, as well as handling aggressive clients with assertiveness and empathy. The episode concludes with a focus on self-care and preventing burnout in high-stress situations. Whether you're a professional mediator, team leader, or individual dealing with difficult clients, Simon's expert advice will equip you with the skills to navigate challenging interactions. So, sit back, and tune in to this insightful episode of the Conflict Skills Podcast.
In today's episode of the Conflict Skills Podcast, professional mediator Simon Goode addresses a common workplace challenge: dealing with rude coworkers. Simon shares specific steps to help listeners navigate and resolve conflicts with colleagues who exhibit negative behaviors. He emphasizes the importance of identifying the specific behaviors causing the issue, understanding the impact on oneself, and clarifying personal goals and priorities. Simon provides strategies for addressing the issue with gradually escalating levels of assertiveness, ultimately aiming for a positive resolution. Tune in to gain valuable insights and practical techniques for managing workplace conflicts effectively.
In this episode of the Conflict Skills Podcast, host Simon Goode discusses 3 underrated conflict skills that are effective in various situations. He emphasizes the importance of not taking things personally, remaining composed in the face of adversity, and the unexpected skill of giving 51%. Simon provides practical insights and strategies for improving these abilities, highlighting their impact on relationships and outcomes in conflict situations. Listeners are encouraged to focus on the positive, practice self-awareness, and approach conflict with a strategic, solution-oriented mindset.
The holiday season can be a time of joy, love, and connection with family and friends. However, it can also bring about challenging interactions with annoying family members, leading to stress and potential conflicts. In our latest episode, Simon Goode shares valuable insights and practical tips for navigating these difficult situations with mindfulness and skill.
Key Takeaways from Podcast 35:
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Managing Stress: Simon emphasizes the negative impact of stress and the importance of proactive stress management. He suggests strategies such as scheduling time, preparing in advance, and taking breaks during family gatherings.
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Self-Regulation: The episode explores the concept of self-regulation, advising listeners to pause, process their feelings, and create distance from strong emotions to manage them effectively. Simon emphasizes the importance of observing emotions as signals without injecting them into conversations.
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Setting Boundaries: Simon discusses strategies for managing difficult interactions and setting boundaries in family gatherings. He advocates for assertively stating boundaries and providing positive reinforcement for respectful behavior.
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Reducing Conflict Triggers: The episode emphasizes using structural changes, such as adjusting meal times or locations, to reduce conflict triggers in family gatherings. Simon also highlights the importance of clarifying expectations ahead of time and focusing on future behavior and solutions to address data conflicts.
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Finding Focus: Simon advises listeners to observe their emotions, focus on loved ones and meaningful experiences, and avoid getting caught up in negative drama during family interactions.
Simon's Book Review and Poetic Excerpt:
In an upcoming episode, Simon plans to do a book review of "The Way Forward" by Jung Pueblo and shares a poetic excerpt from the book, "3 ways to keep your energy strong as you move forward," offering valuable insights into maintaining emotional well-being during challenging interactions.
We hope that the insights and tips shared in this episode will support you in navigating the holiday season with greater ease and harmony. Remember, conflict resolution skills are vital in managing annoying family interactions effectively.
Don't miss out on upcoming episodes where we delve deeper into conflict resolution strategies and provide valuable insights for handling challenging interpersonal dynamics.
Wishing you a peaceful and harmonious holiday season!
00:00 Introverts struggle with conflict and stress management.
05:13 Prepare by managing emotions and specific issues.
07:19 Delay discussion, revisit topic, validate concerns.
12:58 Prepare to engage even if avoiding conflict.
16:47 Keep reasons general and consistent for assertiveness.
18:37 Use clear, concise language to seek agreement.
23:16 Flexible options discussed with consideration for timing.
24:49 Discussing rates and strategic negotiation for job.
I'm Simon Goode, and in today's episode, we're delving into the complexities of managing conflict amidst organizational change. We'll be exploring the psychological framework of the stages of change and how they relate to conflict behavior.
From shock and denial to frustration and depression, we'll unravel the support individuals need at each stage. I'll also be shedding light on the importance of clear communication, empathetic listening, and problem-solving as essential skills in managing conflict during organizational change.
So, if you're looking for valuable strategies for addressing conflict in the face of change and learning how to cultivate a supportive environment for all involved, tune in now.
In Episode 32, we dive deep into the often complex and emotional world of grandparent conflict. Parent and grandparent conflict can have a significant impact on access to grandchildren, making it a crucial issue to address. 😔
Our expert speaker, a professional mediator, shares practical advice and strategies for navigating these challenging situations. Here are three key takeaways from this episode:
1️⃣ Self-Care is Essential: Managing conflict with unreasonable individuals can be incredibly draining and emotionally distressing. Our speaker emphasizes the importance of self-care, suggesting practices such as counseling, exercise, meditation, or debriefing with a friend. By prioritizing our own well-being, we can break the cycle of negativity and approach these conflicts with a calmer and more composed mindset.
2️⃣ Understand and Respect Different Values: Conflict often arises from clashes of expectations and differing values. It's crucial to engage in open and honest discussions, focusing on understanding and empathizing with the other person's perspective. Instead of trying to convince them to agree with our values, we should navigate the differences and find common ground, prioritizing what is best for the children involved.
3️⃣ Language and Approach Matter: Effective communication plays a vital role in resolving conflicts. It's essential to choose our words and phrases carefully, avoiding criticism or pressure that may escalate the situation. By assuming good intentions and seeking to understand contextual reasons for mistakes or misunderstandings, we can maintain a positive relationship with the other person and work towards finding amicable solutions.
Parent and grandparent conflict is a challenging and sensitive subject, but with the right skills and mindset, it is possible to navigate these situations more effectively. Tune in to Podcast 32 - Grandparent Conflict for expert insights and practical tips on resolving conflicts and ensuring the well-being of all involved.
Have you ever had a difficult conversation with a friend about your relationship? How did it go?
This episode is part of a series on repairing friendships, so if you've missed the previous episodes, be sure to check them out for valuable insights. We'll be exploring a step-by-step structure for these difficult conversations, including how to approach the other person's perspective, conveying understanding, and problem-solving collaboratively. Dr. Richard Branson's model will serve as our guide, providing effective strategies to navigate these discussions. So, let's get ready to enhance our conflict resolution skills and strengthen our friendships. Thank you for tuning in, and let's jump right into it.
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In this episode of the Conflict Skills Podcast, we discuss the art of apologising to a friend - to repair a relationship and hopefully introduce a turning point for a more positive direction in your friendship. You will learn the five different types of apologies as well as how and when to use each type.
In this episode of the Conflict Skills Podcast, we explore the topic of repairing a relationship with a friend. We consider the importance of understanding the subjective nature of relationships and the need for curiosity and empathy in the repair process. Tips on how to approach conversations with friends, emphasizing the value of being gentle, kind, and unassuming while avoiding criticism.
Have you ever witnessed someone dominating a meeting? How did it impact the overall effectiveness and productivity of the meeting?
In this episode we dive deep into strategies for effectively managing and communicating with defensive employees. If you're a leader or work in HR, this episode is a must-listen.
Here are 3 key takeaways from this episode:
🔹 Self-care is essential: Taking care of yourself is crucial when dealing with defensive employees. Make sure to engage in self-care practices, such as exercise or deep breathing, to minimize stress and maintain your resilience.
🔹 Avoid triggering defensiveness: Defensiveness often leads to more defensiveness. Instead of becoming defensive yourself, try to maintain a calm and composed demeanor. This will help diffuse tension and create a more productive conversation.
🔹 Balancing assertiveness and accountability: It can be challenging to hold a defensive employee accountable while staying assertive. Strive to find the right balance by acknowledging their perspective while still expecting improvements in performance. By offering support and encouraging them to think of alternative solutions, you can foster growth and development.
Don't forget to subscribe and share this episode with others who might find it valuable. As always, I welcome your feedback and questions!
Why are we wired to be judgmental? What happens in our brain when we engage in this behavior, and how can we reduce it? In this episode, we'll explore the science behind judgment and delve into strategies that can help decrease our judgmental tendencies.Being judgmental towards others can hinder our ability to resolve conflicts, empathize with others, and even influence their behavior. But it doesn't stop there. Many of us struggle with being overly critical and judgmental of ourselves as well. Whether it's berating ourselves for small mistakes or comparing ourselves to others, this internal judgmentalism can have a significant impact on our self-esteem and overall well-being.So, why are we wired to be judgmental? What happens in our brain when we engage in this behavior, and how can we reduce it? In this episode, we'll explore the science behind judgment and delve into strategies that can help decrease our judgmental tendencies.But the benefits of becoming less judgmental extend beyond self-improvement. When we let go of judgment, we free ourselves from constant comparison and criticism, allowing us to experience more joy, peace, and contentment. It also enhances our communication skills, strengthens relationships, and improves our overall mental well-being.Join me as we unravel the mysteries of judgmentalism. Together, we'll explore the research and practical techniques that can help us become more understanding, compassionate, and less judgmental individuals. So, let's dive in and learn how to stop being judgmental about others and ourselves.
In this episode of the Conflict Skills Podcast, I discuss meditation. Now, when you try to google search for 'mediation' (as in conflict resolution type of mediation). it always autocorrects to 'meditation' (as in sitting crosslegged chanting etc.). So even though I always described myself as a mediator, I suspect the universe misinterpreted and I've become a mediator! In this episode of the podcast, I take a slightly different approach to usual. I wanted to share my experience mediating as I wish I knew what to expect or the different techniques that worked when I started. Meditating regularly has been really helpful for me and I hope that this podcast gives you anther option to consider trying it yourself - and get all of the benefits and challenges that come with it. In the podcast I discuss the progress of development so far, including additional self-awareness, self-regulation, and taking control of one's thoughts and emotions in managing conflicts and improving relationships.
In this episode I discuss the approach I take to reflective practice. This is an incredibly helpful tool to prevent the buildup of negative impact for yourself as well as helping you clarify how to respond to a situation (rather than just reacting). I talk about a personal conflict situation and how I apply this framework to resolve negative thought patterns and figure out a plan for moving forward. This will help you to apply the tools to your own situation and, hopefully, help shift things in the right direction.
In today's episode, we'll be diving into the topic of how to stop ruminating and intrusive thoughts. We all know how overwhelming it can be when our minds get stuck on thoughts about the past or worries about the future. But there are strategies we can use to regain control and bring ourselves back to the present moment. Join me as I share some powerful techniques to help you break free from the cycle of rumination and find peace of mind. So, if you're ready to defrag your thought process and reclaim your mental well-being, then let's get started on this journey together.
In this episode of the Conflict Skills Podcast, host Simon Goode discusses de-escalation skills in response to listener questions. He explores techniques to calm someone down who is in fight or flight mode, emphasizing the importance of empathy, active listening, and creating a sense of safety. Goode explains that effectively de-escalating a situation is crucial for resolving conflicts and achieving a positive outcome.
In this episode of the Conflict Skills Podcast, I discuss the challenges and stress of managing conflicts between two staff members. I provide a practical framework that can be used as an outline for approaching the conversation. By naming the issue, empathizing, coaching, and following through, managers can effectively address conflicts and promote a healthier working relationship within their team.
Welcome to a new episode of the Conflict Skills Podcast! In this episode, we tackle the challenging topic of dealing with toxic people at work. Our host, professional mediator Simon Goode, delves into practical strategies for navigating interactions with toxic individuals and offers valuable insight on how to protect yourself in these situations. Simon emphasizes the importance of self-awareness and self-care, highlighting how toxic people can negatively impact our well-being. Tune in as he explores the two key elements of dealing with toxic behavior: empathy and boundaries. Learn how showing empathy and understanding, even if you disagree, can deescalate tense situations and potentially lead to positive change. Simon also sheds light on the importance of setting boundaries with toxic individuals to avoid being taken advantage of. Don't miss this episode packed with helpful tips and strategies for effectively handling toxic people at work. Let's dive in!
[00:01:50] Tactfully proposing alternative ideas to boss.[00:03:28] Consider your behavior, focus on words/actions. Determine goals before addressing conflict with boss.[00:07:46] Short-notice meetings prevent stress and resistance.[00:12:47] Create connection, safety, logic. Make better decisions.[00:13:25] Prompting your boss to make a decision.
In this episode I answer a common question - "How can I feel more confident dealing with conflict".
Our feelings are connected to our thoughts and behaviour, and I discuss a number of strategies for changing how we feel by leveraging our thoughts (the story we tell our selves, our expectations, our sense of responsibility for an issue) and our behaviour (self-care, preparing for conflict etc.).
I discuss the way feelings work and why we have them, as well as the two major levers for influencing our
In this episode, I talk about how to give an ultimatum effectively. What I mean by 'effectively is that you give the person you're dealing with an option and outlines the consequences either way. This is an effective way of dealing with problematic behaviour assertively whilst minimising the chance of defensiveness and resistance.
Of course, you can't control the behaviour of the other person, but responding in a strategic way rather than reacting means that you increase the changes of a positive outcome.
In this episode of the podcast, I talk about how to deal with a situation where someone keeps using their phone inappropriately at work. This is a common challenges for a lot of businesses and as people continue to become more addicted to their phone, it will likely not be something that goes away any time soon.
When staff are using their phone at work it can create a range of issues, from declines in productivity , increasing errors, it can impact communication and team performance and also give customers a negative impression.
I explain how to analyse a conflict situation and deal with someone using their phone in a candid and direct way, gradually escalating the level of assertiveness that is used.
In this episode I respond to a question that I was sent by a listener. The situation involves someone acting as Team Leader, which is always a challenging situation as you move into a position of authority with people who were previously your peers. It's particularly challenging when this is a temporary situation and you will return to your former role in the future. I discuss some of the ways that we can set up a conversation to discuss what is going on, but to do so in a non-threatening way. This often helps to keep the conversation contained when discussing the past and shift the focus from the past to the future, from problem to solution.
Healing during conflict is inherently difficult due to the fact that we tend to slip into emotional reactions and negative thinking patterns. When you decide that you are serious about feeling better, than using a framework like I discuss in the podcast can be a helpful scaffold to at least help things to slightly improve which then makes longer-term and more effective healing possible.
Many of us have been in relationships that have suddenly gone sour. Your partner seems irritable and defensiveness, your boss suddenly becomes critical and erratic or maybe a friend just seems a bit distant. In relationships these experiences often prompt different reactions from us, which, when interpreted negatively by the other person, can lead to issues getting worse over time.
In this episode of the podcast, I discuss a strategic framework for short-circuiting negative spirals in relationships. I discuss how to raise an issue and a process that you can use to release tension, pressure and built up emotions.
Saying 'no' is something that many people struggle with. During Conflict Resolution Training Workshops that I run, it is a common topic and question. People talk about feeling very uncomfortable saying no and worry about the other person's reactions. It's not surprising that this is a challenging area! Most of us haven't had very good role models and even when we are confident about the best approach to take, we have our own emotions to manage! In this episode of the podcast, I discuss some of the practical options that can help you say 'no' in a calm and confident way.
In this episode I talk about the following topics: * Problems with emotion and conflict * Why do we have emotions - what's the use? * Emotions 'head' and 'body' components * Underneath the anger * Managing your own emotions * Managing other people's emotions * Recognising the ebb and flow - alignment and integration
Thank you for listening to the Conflict Skills Podcast.
This podcast is free Conflict Resolution training, to help you develop confidence and tools for dealing with conflict.
In this episode I talk about rumination - the kind of recurring, intrusive thoughts that are often triggered as a result of conflict. This kind of issue can create a negative spiral and if you've ever experienced obsessing about conflict, you know that it can be very unpleasant, exhausting and make it difficult to concentrate and relax.
I explain why we ruminate, including our brains focus on keeping us safe from potential threats. I also outline a number of tools that we can use strategically to help reduce the amount of intrusive thoughts we are having and also minimise the negative impact at the time.
If you have a question or would be willing to provide feedback please email podcast@simongoode.com.
Thanks for listening and I hope the episode is helpful for you.
In this episode of the Conflict Skills podcast, I analyse a conflict case study and show how we can use different frameworks to understand what is happening and develop options for responding. This is the kind of activity I find incredibly helpful when delivering Conflict Resolution Training where we discuss case studies as a group and plan a response to manage these more effectively in the future.
The situation I discuss is an audio recording from dash cam footage of a driver stopped at the US border and refusing to answer a question about whether he is a US citizen. This type of situation can be difficult to manage in the moment and it's easy to react in a way that makes things worse.
I go through a number of options for responding to this type of person, who could be classified as a 'high conflict personality'.
If you work in a role dealing with difficult people then you can take the same tools I discuss and apply to your own situation.
The focus of this episode is on how to stay calm during conflict and arguments.
In conflict, it it's incredibly common to find yourself with your buttons getting pushed and your emotions start to rise. It may be anger, frustration or in other situations it might be a fear response if you are becoming worried, concerned, even starting to feel a little panicked or overwhelmed. There are practical tools that we can use to remain calm and in the podcast, I explain a number of these.
Finally, I also provide some tools and techniques that can be used for releasing the buildup of stress and resetting your mindset. This includes dealing with the physical build up of tension and adrenaline and how to 'turn the page' so that you don't keep having the same negative emotions come up and perhaps even take these into other situations inadvertently.
If you have a question, topic or scenario you would like me to discuss in the podcast, please get in touch at podcast@simongoode.com.
Thanks for listening!
In this episode I provide some practical tools for being more assertive. Being assertive is an area where many people struggle and a common theme in mediations I run is finding the balance between being assertive and avoiding coming across as aggressive or being too passive.
Throughout the episode, I explain strategies that can be used for assertiveness. We will all have a slightly different way we use these, depending on our personal style and personality. Nevertheless, having some tools to add to the communication toolkit can be very helpful to make sure you are holding on to boundaries and being firm when needed, but minimising the chance of triggering resistance and defensiveness in the other person.
These approaches can be used in work contexts, such as dealing with clients colleagues or in leadership roles. They are also incredibly useful for parenting and personal relationships as well.
If you would like additional resources around similar topics, my website is simongoode.com.
The Conflict Skills Podcast is designed to help you develop the confidence and tools to deal with conflict effectively. My name is Simon Goode and I have been a professional mediator for over 15 years. I've worked with families going through divorce, teenagers in Anger Management programs, organisational conflict between small and large groups of staff and helping organisations respond to complaints from clients. In the podcast, I cover similar topics that I teach when I run Conflict Resolution Skills training with organisations. I have made this freely available here in the hope that it is helpful. Thank you for listening.
If you would like more information about this topic or other resources related to dealing with conflict, there are resources on my website: simongoode.com
If you have a question or to provide feedback on the podcast, please email podcast@simongoode.com.
Thank you for listening.
The reason I wanted to use a diverse range of examples is that it can be useful to help you understand how the tools can be applied and potentially even used to understand your own conflict challenges.
I hope you have found the episode helpful. For feedback or to get in touch, please email podcast@simongoode.com.
Thanks and have a great day!
In this podcast, I explain the 5 different types of conflict:
- Data Conflict
- Interest Conflict
- Values Conflict
- Structural Conflict
- Relationship Conflict
Each type of conflict has different causes, and different factors that cause things to escalate. The different types of conflict also need a different response to effectively deal with the situation.
You can find more resources related to communication and conflict on my website, simongoode.com. There is also information about my Conflict Resolution Training courses if you'd like to organise some training with your team.