SMARTER THAN BPD: Recent Episodes
Peter Miller
SMARTER THAN BPD explores the presenter's background, life experiences, and phases of learning after discovering BPD was an issue in his life. Throughout the podcast, listeners will discover a wide range of essential learning, insights, and skill suggestions that would be helpful to any person who wants to free themselves from Borderline Personality Disorder. Reflections on the presenter's clinical experiences with many others facing similar issues in a therapy environment will also be shared. The overall intention of the podcast is to support and strengthen anyone wanting out of "BPD Hell".
The presenter discusses the four horsemen of the apocalypse (John Gottman) and how they tend to become commonplace and viewed as "normal" or "acceptable" in many instances. The presenter shares different ways the four horsemen can show up in communication between partners and family members, and how there can be a sense of entitlement that people have regarding how they behave or fail to manage their emotions. The presenter discusses some of the reasons that these entitlements may have become commonplace over the years, including messages/suggestions relayed by dominant instructions and the media. The presenter shares his opinion that it is important and acceptable to expect more from family members and partners, such that they decide to mature and learn about their mental health and relationships if they want to have relationships. The presenter discusses connections between Everyday Narcissism and the four horsemen of the apocalypse, and how the ways we think about emotions heavily influences whether or not people will choose to make improvements. FOR MORE INFORMATION, GO TO... http://smarterthanbpd.info
The presenter discusses some of the subtle ways that emotions can be neglected in a culture that prioritizes material and financial growth. Some of the wordings and phrases that people use in conversations when emotions start to show up are considered and suspected as contributing to emotional neglect. The presenter further suspects that the majority of people do not appreciate the long-term consequences (physical and mental) that often come from living this way. Conflicts of interest between becoming/remaining competitive and engaging in health maintenance activities were discussed. Some of the particular ways that emotions can be acknowledged and processed were offered, including options for attending to the "inner child" with deep compassion. The type of "attitude" that people maintain about emotions and time taken for such in human life is emphasized as being important. FOR MORE INFORMATION, GO TO... http://smarterthanbpd.info
The presenter discusses the type of mindset that is needed to overcome BPD, which includes accepting certain aspects of reality and refusing to delude oneself about what works to heal the brain. Letting go of dependency on others to be long-term "emotional caretakers" is emphasized. Investing time in creating a self-care routine that prioritizes mental health and consistent follow through is likewise emphasized. In addition to this, fully understanding that the dominant ways of being in the world consistently de-prioritize mental health and can easily have you giving up on taking this kind of responsibility, is highlighted. The option of exploring the Smarter Than BPD Premium Skills Training Program is finally discussed. FOR MORE INFORMATION, GO TO... http://smarterthanbpd.info
The presenter discusses other potentially relevant ideas stemming from episode 45. Notions of "playing the victim" while pointing out problems associated with living in cultural and financial systems are considered. The larger psychological benefits and reasons for pondering, analyzing, and criticizing systems are highlighted, including how these considerations can help people suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder to adjust their thinking. Essentially, a person can spend their entire life fighting to keep up with (and fit in with) concocted (unreal) narratives that serve interests other than their own, or they can figure out how to detach. The benefits of detaching from concocted (unreal) narratives include reduced self-judgment and unnecessary shame contributing to disordered functioning. The presenter further argues that learning skills from therapeutic modalities are helpful but insufficient to conquer recurring toxic thought patterns that come part-in-parcel with giving systems the benefit of the doubt. Examples of how humans are easily conditioned (and become emotionally attached) to concocted narratives are shared. FOR MORE INFORMATION, GO TO... http://smarterthanbpd.info
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The presenter discusses the different ways the financial and spiritual paradigms often influence how we rate our worth as human beings. Humans often believe their worth depends entirely on how well they measure up to their financial and spiritual obligations. When they do not perceive that they measure up, such as how their peers measure up, they may become increasingly self-critical and judge themselves as being "insufficient" or "inadequate." When this occurs, even though the measuring stick is entirely a human concoction and fabrication, people may believe it is a real measuring stick and be left feeling ongoing shame until changes can be made. The challenge, therefore, becomes to dismiss the artificial, contrived truths instead of living your life as a prisoner to them and to prioritize the task of becoming self-realized, which is effectively stolen when you are led to believe these other things matter. FOR MORE INFORMATION, GO TO... http://smarterthanbpd.info
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The presenter discusses the realities of living in a world that - by and large - does not prioritize learning about or maintaining mental health. The natural consequences that occur as a result of this reality are explained, including the fact that many people are born with emotional sensitivities that they do not learn how to live with during childhood and therefore develop Borderline Personality Disorder and other related illnesses. The need to fully accept the way the world is, and then learn to adapt in ways that are functional is emphasized. The presenter shares some of his personal experiences that helped him to arrive at this place of acceptance. The presenter discusses the Smarter Than BPD Premium Skills Training Program, including the ways it accommodates the person suffering from BPD to adapt to the realities of the world. Those listening and working through BPD are encouraged to establish a lifestyle that includes learning about Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Dialectical Behavior therapy a little bit each day and practicing skills a little bit each day. The Smarter Than BPD Premium Skills Training Program is offered as a way to accomplish freedom from BPD, particularly for those who are busy with life and require flexibility in learning, but also require some structure for learning at a reasonable cost.
FOR MORE INFORMATION, GO TO... http://smarterthanbpd.info
Get access to subscriber-only episodes for a monthly subscription: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/smarterthanbpd/subscribe
The presenter discusses the consequences of being taught what to think versus being taught how to think in regard to mental health and relationships. Learning "rules" instead of "processes" during childhood and beyond is highlighted as a major problem, since people end up using willpower and acting, instead of developing emotional/relational intelligence and behaving authentically. A lack of mental health development then results because the whole process of taking care of oneself and being healthy relationships was oversimplified from the beginning. When people can no longer maintain the facade, they often turn to medications or other drugs to cover up the symptoms and pain. Various examples and analogies are provided throughout the podcast to make the learning points more understandable. FOR MORE INFORMATION, GO TO... http://smarterthanbpd.info
Get access to subscriber-only episodes for a monthly subscription: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/smarterthanbpd/subscribe
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The presenter discusses parts of his BPD journey, from finding out about having the disorder to engaging in a process to make gradual improvements. Information with regards to recovery timelines are shared, as well as the components to the recovery process that were essential for making steady gains. The importance and value of the "follow-up appointment" for becoming stronger and increasingly knowledgeable was highlighted. The importance of making many attempts to learn and apply DBT skills to everyday life, and to learn from mistakes, were likewise highlighted. Aspects of The Smarter Than BPD Premium Skills Training Program were discussed, including how they emulate and improve upon the presenter's original recovery process. The listener is encouraged to explore the benefits of participating in the program and directed to the skills training website to learn more (http://stbpdskillstraining.ca). FOR MORE INFORMATION, GO TO... http://smarterthanbpd.info
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The presenter discusses learning to balance self-care with helping others and identifying when enabling patterns of mental illness are happening. The importance of fully taking responsibility for living in a human body with all the required upkeep and know-how is reviewed. The different ways humans often attempt to escape taking full responsibility are highlighted. The problems associated with not taking responsibility and enabling others not to take responsibility are discussed. The ways that people end up in situations of not even realizing that mental health responsibility is important are explained, as well as the confusion that ensues when people claim to have tried all they can but still struggle. Several examples and analogies are shared to help the listener better understand the concepts shared. FOR MORE INFORMATION, GO TO... http://smarterthanbpd.info
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The presenter discusses different ways to engage in motivation with the end goal of accomplishing things. Two different paradigms are discussed that most people are familiar with, those being punishment versus reward. The particulars of each of these approaches are examined from a therapist's point of view as to their actual (long-term) benefit. The often-undiscussed consequences of engaging in punishment-oriented practices are explained and the listener is encouraged to practice noticing and befriending all emotions, rather than living in a way to avoid certain types of emotions. Examples of using the different approaches are offered through reference to the presenter's life experiences. FOR MORE INFORMATION, GO TO... http://smarterthanbpd.info
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The presenter discusses his recent experience travelling to watch his favourite band and accepting (the reality) that his requested song would not be played. Issues regarding having exaggerated expectations and not fully understanding the nature of large-scale performances were discussed. The experience of "splitting" was explained and analyzed as difficult emotions (such as disappointment, frustration, embarrassment, hurt, etc.) occurred. The steps required for someone with BPD to come to terms with reality were outlined. The presenter likewise shared other experiences where reality acceptance was required and how to take steps to align with reality mentally. The presenter finally explained the necessity of accepting the reality that persons suffering from BPD did not receive a childhood development experience that would set them up with the skills and understanding to manage BPD. Despite what others (who do not have BPD or understand BPD) may say or think, it is utterly impossible to have the skills to understand and manage BPD when the teaching has not been provided. It is, therefore, essential to have compassion for persons with BPD who are working through the learning process. It is also essential for persons with BPD to have compassion for themselves as they learn. FOR MORE INFORMATION, GO TO... http://smarterthanbpd.info
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The presenter discusses the importance of learning to notice how deliberate thought (and the use of imagination) can influence emotions, and how noticing this can be an indicator of how humans create much of their own emotional experience. The presenter shares his own experience imagining an upcoming event and how it triggered particular emotions, and also how returning to a mindful state immediately changed the emotional state, again indicating that humans can manage much of their emotional experience. The presenter shares some information from a neuroscience expert regarding thoughts and their origins, indicating that there are various influential factors, such as society, environment, experiential history, evolution, biology, and random neuronal firing. The presenter discusses how learning to live in the body/mind in a healthy manner can enhance and influence human creativity, and then shares examples of how different types of creation seem to have emerged according to different degrees of human wellness. The presenter encourages listeners to pursue practices that nurture self-awareness in order to maximize personal autonomy over their life creations, including day-to-day life. FOR MORE INFORMATION, GO TO... http://smarterthanbpd.info
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The presenter discusses the various benefits of engaging in a gratitude practice, including how it can help people with BPD to settle the emotional centre of the brain and make adjustments to neurochemistry. The presenter shares a unique strategy for practicing gratitude through observing ordinary objects and relating those objects to memories that also have gratitude associations. The presenter provides a skateboarding analogy and then offers examples of how to apply the gratitude strategy in everyday life. The presenter shares quotes relating to gratitude and discusses how a regular gratitude practice can potentially contribute to enhanced life abundance as a result of better overall mind/body functioning. FOR MORE INFORMATION, GO TO... http://smarterthanbpd.info
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The presenter discusses notions of "good" and "evil" and how these may merely be notions emanating from cultural narratives, but also how they may be harmful in that they influence the number of judgments humans inflict on themselves and thus contribute to mental health problems. The presenter discusses the work of Victor Frankle (Holocaust Survivor), including his famous quote in regard to finding the space between stimulus and response, and how within that space there are opportunities for growth and freedom. The presenter relates the various benefits associated with practicing self-awareness. The presenter examines the possibility that people are neither good nor evil, but rather reared in healthy or unhealthy ways, or exposed to much needed skills training, or not. The presenter discusses his experiences working in a penitentiary and how prisoners are likewise neither good nor evil but nonetheless characterized that way based on their actions (most likely related to problematic childhoods). The presenter expresses his frustration with systems and the associated cultural narratives that apparently refuse to account for their contributions to societal and mental health problems (including criminal behavior), but instead carry on with narratives as though they are unmistakably helpful (or benign) rather than harmful. System neglects, such as insufficient exposure to mental health concepts during childhood education, are also fiercely challenged. FOR MORE INFORMATION, GO TO... http://smarterthanbpd.info
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The presenter explores the concept of "self-love" and the various reasons it is difficult to put into practice. Reasons that it may be difficult to engage in mental health self-care include being overly identified with personal narratives, cultural narratives, and the myths of everyday narcissism (Van Dyken). Challenges with creating healthy boundaries and how this issue connects with narratives and everyday narcissism are discussed, such as having the ability to say "no" when needed and being able to ask for things without fear of consequent emotions. The concept of misplaced guilt and giving oneself permission to take time for mental health is discussed. The logic of taking time for health-related matters is also discussed, as well as the consequences of maintaining unrealistic (or magical) beliefs about over-giving. The presenter finally explores the concept of "no-self" as a means of completely freeing up one's energy, as it offers complete detachment from personal and cultural narratives that tend to induce suffering and consume energy. Other book references are provided to the listener to further explore the ideas presented in the podcast. FOR MORE INFORMATION, GO TO... http://smarterthanbpd.info
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The presenter explores some of the essential attitudes and understandings needed to persevere through the BPD learning journey. The importance of determining your "why" for learning and growing is discussed and several examples of finding a "why" are shared. The necessity of combining both mind and body learning in order to overcome BPD, or "theory" and "practice" is also related, again with several examples provided. The reality of experiencing shame and discouragement while learning new things, as well as the urge to give up, is discussed. The ever-available option of giving up on learning, and the consequences of such, are reviewed. The need to generalize skill use across several life domains is mentioned, as well as having the willingness to fail and hurt in order to learn, are discussed. Letting go of perfectionism and likewise accepting the reality of making mistakes (no matter how far advanced in learning) are highlighted. FOR MORE INFORMATION, GO TO... http://smarterthanbpd.info
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The presenter explores ideas in regard to human "world-building" - the construction of cultures - as a way to better understand how things can unexpectedly go wrong for humans psychologically (such as personality disorders). The presenter discusses observations of chimps and their natural way of being and follows this by discussing the apparent nature of humans. The presenter relates concepts from Peter L. Berger ("The Sacred Canopy") as a means to better understand the nature of humans and what they do to survive socially and psychologically. The presenter also explores the potential mental health consequences of these human tendencies (e.g., reduced critical thinking and lack of emotional maturity). The presenter discusses the possible benefits of adopting an eco-centric rather than an ego-centric worldview (those that often emanate from dominant cultural narratives). The importance of valuing certain cultural constructs - even if only made by humans - is finally put forth, alongside developing the courage and emotional maturity to not be strictly bound to cultural constructs. FOR MORE INFORMATION, GO TO... http://smarterthanbpd.info
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The presenter attempts to draw connections between unconscious judging habits and being embedded in cultural stories and narratives (i.e., a Matrix). The general idea of the episode is that most people lack awareness of their tendencies to judge themselves and others, how often and reflexively they do it, and why this would become a habitual behaviour. Most people are also probably lacking in their understanding of how much additional and unnecessary emotional suffering is self-inflicted through their judging. The option to become aware of being embedded in a cultural narrative/matrix is suggested, so as to empower the individual to consciously and purposefully adjust their judging habits, is put forth. Different ways to practice non-judgmental awareness are explained, as well as the long-term benefits of not over-engaging the mind and nervous system through unnecessary judging. The presenter offers the opinion that the narratives we are embedded in are only stories, and the underlying anxiety about fitting into the stories can be released if they are understood as "not real". The presenter finally explores some ways to become more consciously aware of judging habits, again with the aim being to reduce unnecessary judging. FOR MORE INFORMATION, GO TO... http://smarterthanbpd.info
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The presenter attempts to explore the apparent cultural phenomenon of the promotion of belief and faith as a means to "success". Belief and faith as a replacement for rational thinking is the general concern communicated by the presenter as it appears that prominent and revered figures (who are also often materially successful) are the ones suggesting it is of the utmost importance. Several examples of the promotion of belief and shared are shared, as well as opposite examples that challenge belief as being the path to wellness. The presenter discusses the importance of learning to recognize when belief and faith may serve our interests versus when they may interfere with our mental health. The presenter likewise discusses the importance of saying "no" to belief when needed and otherwise becoming comfortable with challenging belief as a means of preserving mental health. In other words, belief and faith are NOT always the answer to our problems. FOR MORE INFORMATION, GO TO... http://smarterthanbpd.info
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The presenter explores the importance of understanding the power of words in the experience of BPD. The idea of language as being one of the highest human abilities is contrasted with the challenge of learning to use it effectively, prudently, and lovingly. The various ways words can be unconsciously misused and create much unnecessary misery and suffering are discussed. The book "The Four Agreements" (don Miguel Ruiz) is referenced in regard to understanding the power of words, including the importance and benefits of trying to become impeccable with words. The importance of being honest in communication to become impeccable with words and how this is impacted by following the 5 myths of everyday narcissism (Van Dyken), is also considered. Different ways to start becoming more conscious of cognitive habits and patterns are related, as well as the general importance of becoming conscious (self-aware). The presenter finally encourages younger listeners to begin practicing these skills early in life to have a better life. FOR MORE INFORMATION, GO TO... http://smarterthanbpd.info
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The presenter explores deeply what it means to be dialectical in terms of their existing or not existing, any notion of "the Truth" with a capital "T". The presenter compares his thoughts on the subject to imagery that can be interpreted in more than one way, and how it seems to suggest that there are only "possibilities" rather than truths to behold. The presenter goes on to explain that perceptions/interpretations, or possibilities, are temporary and personal, and thus bound to shift as the moments change. The presenter discusses the importance of practicing noticing different possibilities and how this can help to become dialectical, and thus, also settle the BPD pattern and operate more effectively in life. The presenter suggests that "the Truth" with a capital "T" may not even exist, and instead, that being "in reality" means accepting that there are only possibilities. Further, if a person does not find their way to reality, then they may never escape a personality disorder. The act of offering "the Truth" to anyone may create a loss of freedom for that person, meaning that to accept another person's "Truth" (capital "T") means becoming their conceptual prisoner. FOR MORE INFORMATION, GO TO... http://smarterthanbpd.info
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The presenter explains and describes one of his BPD episodes from the past using a type of "chain analysis". The ways that childhood conditioning plays a role in the BPD episode are explored, including self-destructive beliefs, the use of various cognitive distortions, emotional sensitivities, emotional immaturity, and everyday narcissism (see Nancy Van Dyken). The presenter discusses how simple (everyday) life situations can turn into unnecessarily painful situations when understanding, awareness, and skills are not yet in place. The ways that continued use of toxic/ineffective tactics to deal with life situations and typical emotions (e.g., frustration) results in a "BPD aftermath" where shame, regret, and sadness get experienced. The benefits of acquiring skills to work through life situations in different ways are explained, including the eventual reduction in the quantity and intensity of dramas. The importance of building new pathways in the brain that eventually take the place of old neural pathways was finally explained. FOR MORE INFORMATION, GO TO... http://smarterthanbpd.info
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The presenter discusses the human tendency to create stories, narratives, fictions, about themselves, others, events, and even the entire universe. The presenter examines his experiences with teachers of higher learning and intelligence, and the associated frustrations due to the fact these teachers were not prone to reinforcing impatience, laziness, short-cuts, simplicity, easiness, judgments, hubris, and ego. The presenter identifies how it can feel pleasing and pleasurable to give in to desires for impatience, laziness, short-cuts, simplicity, easiness, judgments, hubris, and ego, but that it comes at great cost to sanity and quality of life. The presenter encourages the listener to embrace the apparent fact that humans are continuously making things up and believing them, and to subsequently relax and take all human stories much less seriously. The present finally encourages the listener to practice self-reflection, feeling uncertainty, feeling not knowing, and feeling non-control (and all other feelings) as a way towards improved mental health and relationships. FOR MORE INFORMATION, GO TO... http://smarterthanbpd.info
--- Please take a moment to rate/review Smarter Than BPD in Apple podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/smarter-than-bpd/id1666106899
The presenter attempts to explore issues associated with dominant cultural themes, such as "positivity" is better than, or must outweigh "negativity". The presenter shares his experiences with internalizing the positive/negative mental structure during childhood, and how it did not help whatsoever with remaining free from mental illness later in life. The mental patterns that tend to take place depending on internalized worldview are discussed, including the potential mental health consequences of repeating those patterns. The notion of "being at war within" stemming from the positive/negative mental structure, and as being very stressful to the human body/mind, is reviewed. The positive/negative mental structure is also viewed as being a judgmental way of being (i.e., judging every thought that enters the mind as either "good" or "bad" and as consequential) versus a non-judgmental way of being. Using "hope" and "positivity" as a way of avoiding unwanted emotions (e.g., uncertainty, non-control) is finally considered. FOR MORE INFORMATION, GO TO... http://smarterthanbpd.info
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The presenter discusses some of the underlying reasons that people have a hard time adjusting old and ineffective behaviors, such as judging. The ways that various unconscious and ineffective (even harmful) behaviors work temporarily to relieve people of unwanted emotions is explained, as well as why it can become extremely reinforcing (i.e., intermittent reinforcement). The ways that people suffering from BPD are not all that different from others with exception to a more intense emotional experience is highlighted. The presenter's experiences with creating a new mental health program are offered as examples of urges to use old and ineffective tactics to relieve himself of unwanted emotions. The importance of not attempting to force change of old thought patterns and other ineffective behavior is explained. Ways to being making progressive change to thought, emotion, and behavior that are both gentle and effective are provided. Please listen to Weezer's song "We Are All On Drugs" to understand the reference in the title. FOR MORE INFORMATION, GO TO... http://smarterthanbpd.info
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The presenter discusses the importance of knowing when judgments are good and useful versus when they are harmful and toxic. The ways that judgments can be similar to "should thoughts" and trigger difficult emotions to manage (e.g., anger, frustration) are explained. The ways people tend to unconsciously become judgmental (and how they toxically express these judgments) in their relationships, often resulting in conflict, are described. The "four horsemen of the apocalypse" according to John Gottman (criticism, contempt, defensiveness, stonewalling) are explained, as well as how these are connected to ineffective judging and problems in relationships. Examples of ineffective/toxic judging are offered, followed by a more effective approach/strategy for interacting and working through challenges in relationships. The importance of developing self-awareness, the ability to self-reflect, and ultimately following through with this new interaction approach through practicing such techniques as mindfulness meditation is noted. FOR MORE INFORMATION, GO TO... http://smarterthanbpd.info
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The presenter discusses the mechanics of unrealistic expectations and how they induce heavy doses of emotional suffering, often without much conscious awareness. Some examples of unrealistic expectations in everyday life are shared, including why they can be hard to release. A strategy for dealing with unrealistic expectations and explanation for how to apply the strategy in the shared examples is provided. The importance of being willing to face and work through challenging emotions in order to effectively reduce expectations is communicated. The ways that people often flounder with indecision instead of accepting reality are explained. The ways that maintaining unrealistic expectations can influence and worsen Borderline Personality Disorder are identified. FOR MORE INFORMATION, GO TO... http://smarterthanbpd.info
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The presenter describes what happens during Borderline Personality Disorder moments, which often accumulate and compound day-to-day, leading a suffering person into a place akin to "BPD Hell". The relevance of mental health ignorance in contributing to the ongoing prevalence of BPD and difficulties escaping the BPD pattern is discussed. The ways that painful life events associated with the BPD pattern tend to link together, and how this contributes to a worsening health issues and life situations is highlighted. Some examples of the BPD pattern that results in the "BPD Hell" experience are shared. The understandability of suicidal ideation when emotional pain and other life stress accumulates is communicated. The presenter finally shares some details about the upcoming Smarter Than BPD Premium Skills Training Program and how to subscribe to the waitlist. FOR MORE INFORMATION, GO TO... http://smarterthanbpd.info
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The presenter introduces the audience to the concept of Everday Narcissism (EN) and the 5 associated myths, as well as how EN is conceptually different than Clinical Narcissism and NOT a diagnosis in itself. The largely invisible nature of EN, but nonetheless harmfulness it produces, is described and explored. The ways that EN turns every person into a chronic liar (towards themselves and others) is highlighted. The difference between "taking responsibility for the emotional experience of others" and "helping others take responsibility" is explained. The connection between EN and the development of Borderline Personality Disorder is explained. The importance of taking opportunities to challenge the 5 myths of EN is discussed, and why this is important for identity development. FOR MORE INFORMATION, GO TO... http://smarterthanbpd.info--- Please take a moment to rate/review Smarter Than BPD in Apple podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/smarter-than-bpd/id1666106899
Maureen joins Peter for episode 20 of the Smarter Than BPD podcast to relate some of her experiences with Borderline Personality Disorder. Maureen shares aspects of her childhood that contributed to developing BPD, as well as the journey towards being properly diagnosed. Several helpful points of understanding were covered, such as being exposed to abuse and trauma during childhood, false activation of the fight, flight, freeze response, and developing particular emotional sensitivities (such as rejection and abandonment) in association with these events. The long-term impacts and consequences of having these types of childhood experiences, coupled with not learning how to manage emotions and create healthy relationships, were also covered. Working through common setbacks while learning about BPD and re-learning to live in your body during adulthood were also related. Thank you so much, Maureen, for your willingness to share your experiences and help others facing this very challenging disorder! FOR MORE INFORMATION, GO TO...http://smarterthanbpd.info
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The presenter discusses the various ordinary mental health challenges that most people are faced with, simply by being alive. The additional challenges a person with Borderline Personality Disorder must contend with (on top of the ordinary challenges) are also outlined. A comparison is made between learning how to manage ongoing emotional (and related) challenges and learning to ride a large ocean wave. It is likewise noted that people suffering from BPD must learn how to "ride these wave" because their brain chemistry requires it. Furthermore, it is explained that learning how to ride these waves is possible with the right guidance, tools, and mentorship, although many are deprived exposure to this learning. The presenter finally acknowledges the tremendous difficulty many people with BPD face throughout much of their life, being ill-equipped or unequipped to live in their bodies. The bravery of continuing onwards despite this level of difficulty is expressed. FOR MORE INFORMATION, GO TO...http://smarterthanbpd.info
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The presenter discusses what it's like to be in a relationship with someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder when there is no understanding of mental health. Problems associated with living to avoid unwanted emotions are explained, such as being continuously unable and ill-equipped to problem-solve effectively. The downward spiral in functioning that occurs as BPD is not understood is highlighted, as well as how this happens in relationships, as people resort to enabling or punishing or misguided responses due to lack of understanding and skills. The desperation that a person with BPD may experience when there is no way to deal with emotions and no one knows how to help, is outlined. The false sense of shame that a person with BPD identifies with when relationships fail, and needs remain unmet, is discussed. The work that is required to rewire the brain and relearn how to live with emotions is mentioned. FOR MORE INFORMATION, GO TO...http://smarterthanbpd.info
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The presenter discusses what it means to "be dialectal" and provides several examples of how this can apply to ordinary life and Borderline Personality Disorder. The importance of not labelling anyone with BPD as a "problem person" or the main reason for problems in relationships is highlighted, including the fact that persons with BPD often experience abuse from others while they are struggling to function. In other words, it can still be true and valid that a person with BPD is being abused, even if they are thinking and acting irrationally. A comparison between believing a magic trick and being stuck on irrational thoughts (and associated emotions) was also offered. What is required in order to start practicing a dialectical approach to life was explained, and the magnitude of mental health ignorance in the world (and how to be dialectical) was estimated. FOR MORE INFORMATION, GO TO...http://smarterthanbpd.info
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The presenter discusses various emotional avoidance behaviors and how they can be linked to self-destructive beliefs. Some of the potential consequences of maintaining emotional avoidance behaviors are explained, as well as the benefits of learning to confront and approach emotions. Common reasons for maintaining avoidance behaviors are considered, as well as the ongoing temptation to start using these behaviors in modern society. Ways to begin challenging yourself to adjust behavioral patterns and face/process unwanted emotions are offered. FOR MORE INFORMATION, GO TO...http://smarterthanbpd.info
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The presenter discusses further the nature of beliefs and the role they play in maintaining a false sense of security and safety throughout life, and likewise how they function to "protect" a person from unwanted feeling. Also discussed are the long-term consequences of retaining certain types of beliefs forged during childhood. The presenter offers two concrete examples to understand the nature of beliefs and how they contribute to mental illness and personality disorder. A comparison is made to physical training to better understand the concepts discussed. Finally, harmful beliefs are compared to computer viruses. FOR MORE INFORMATION, GO TO...http://smarterthanbpd.info
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The presenter discusses several of the problematic ways that beliefs are invented and used as a way to feel "safe and secure" when emotional maturing opportunities were not available during childhood development. In essence, a person who is deprived of learning emotional (and communication) skills during childhood is very likely to utilize beliefs as an alternative (and inadequate) way of functioning and feeling safe/secure. But since beliefs are typically not sufficient for navigating complex human interactions and experiences, and likewise not capable of eliminating unwanted emotions entirely, the long-term consequence often includes different forms of mental and physical illness. Learning emotional intelligence and tolerance, as well as effective communication and thought challenging skills, are needed to break the habit of relaying on outdated beliefs.
FOR MORE INFORMATION, GO TO...http://smarterthanbpd.info --- Please take a moment to rate/review Smarter Than BPD in Apple podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/smarter-than-bpd/id1666106899
The presenter discusses an important (and rarely practiced) method for working through thoughts and emotions in challenging situations. The method involves taking time to notice and validate emotions BEFORE challenging thoughts, so that it improves the chances of being able to challenge thoughts more effectively. The method is often counter-intuitive because people are by and large accustomed to skipping over and otherwise invalidating emotions. The method can also seem paradoxical because it initially validates emotions and thereafter may discard (or invalidate) the initial emotion. The ways that modern society tends to encourage emotional invalidation and therefore undermine this method is discussed. The method is also compared to skateboarding and taking time to learn skills that initially seem complicated. FOR MORE INFORMATION, GO TO...http://smarterthanbpd.info--- Please take a moment to rate/review Smarter Than BPD in Apple podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/smarter-than-bpd/id1666106899
The presenter discusses the ways that humans tend to make things up as they live their lives, including what things mean and what should be cemented into belief. The reasons that humans rely on belief systems are discussed in relation to their NOT developing ways to tolerate and manage emotional states in early childhood. Aspects of society and culture are also considered part of the reason that humans rely on beliefs to make their way through life. The consequences of relying on outdated beliefs are reviewed, including how they might influence a person suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder. Different ways to live in the human body and as a human (capable of tolerating all emotions) are offered. FOR MORE INFORMATION, GO TO... http://smarterthanbpd.info
--- Please take a moment to rate/review Smarter Than BPD in Apple podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/smarter-than-bpd/id1666106899
The presenter shares the cognitive appraisal model he used to work through and disentangle himself from harmful assumptions and unnecessary life drama. The presenter shares a personal experience of emotional upset and irrational thinking, and a diagram of the cognitive appraisal model (available at his blog) for others to use as needed. The presenter encourages listeners to make a point of using recommended tools to practice slowing down and analyzing thoughts, and to work through emotions. The presenter discusses ways to think about the learning process to remain motivated and compassionate. FOR MORE INFORMATION, GO TO... http://smarterthanbpd.info
--- Please take a moment to rate/review Smarter Than BPD in Apple podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/smarter-than-bpd/id1666106899
The presenter discusses ideas regarding responsibility, freedom, and thinking independently. The listener is encouraged to consider their developmental background and cultural inheritance, and the ways their unique childhood experience and cultural conditioning may have influenced them in terms of becoming emotionally aware and mature, and otherwise becoming mentally healthy in adulthood. The listener is likewise encouraged to carefully ponder how much freedom they enjoy in their part of the world and if they are prepared to use their freedom to attain the best possible mental health moving forwards. The drawbacks and limitations of dominant cultural, economic, and educational systems in terms of teaching mental health are reviewed. The need to recognize dominant systems for what they are and have to offer mental health is emphasized, to no longer put confidence in them for mental health purposes. FOR MORE INFORMATION, GO TO... http://smarterthanbpd.info
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The presenter discusses ideas in regard to responsibility, freedom, and thinking independently. The listener is encouraged to consider their developmental background and cultural inheritance, and the ways their unique childhood experience and cultural conditioning may have helped or hindered them in terms of becoming emotionally aware and mature, and otherwise becoming mentally healthy in adulthood. The listener is likewise encouraged to carefully ponder how much freedom they enjoy in their part of the world and if they are prepared to use whatever freedom they enjoy to attain the best possible mental health moving forwards. The drawbacks and limitations of dominant cultural, economic, and educational systems in terms of teaching mental health are reviewed. The need to recognize dominant systems for what they are and have to offer mental health is emphasized, so as to no longer put confidence in them for that purpose. FOR MORE INFORMATION, GO TO... http://smarterthanbpd.info
--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/smarterthanbpd/message
The presenter further discusses the nature of thought and how it connects to emotional experience. Also highlighted are the ways and reasons that thought, and emotion challenges can be different and harder for persons with BPD. The presenter shares some of his recent and personal experiences getting stuck in irrational thought and how to get untangled. The presenter discusses reasons that people may become reliant on irrational thoughts and beliefs as a way to maintain a sense of security in an ever-changing world. The listener is encouraged to become highly familiar with the common thought (cognitive) distortions, including which patterns (or combinations) of distortions happen to them in everyday life. FOR MORE INFORMATION, GO TO... http://smarterthanbpd.info
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The presenter explains how irrational thinking plays a significant role in the larger BPD pattern (perceptions, interpretations, emotions, behaviors). Also explained are the apparent reasons to rely on irrational thoughts. Some common examples of irrational thought are shared. The importance of developing strong self-awareness of patterns, finding oneself in the BPD pattern, and understanding how emotions come about, is reiterated. The presenter discusses the apparently complicated origins of irrational thinking in human life, as well as some possibilities regarding the evolution of human societies and current regularity/commonality of irrational thought. Understanding the "big picture" of psychology and mental health, and how BPD factors into that understanding is emphasized. FOR MORE INFORMATION, GO TO... http://smarterthanbpd.info
Greg joins Peter for episode 7 of the Smarter Than BPD podcast to discuss his experiences with mental illness, including some of the things that occurred in childhood and adulthood, and how he eventually discovered that he met the criteria for Borderline Personality Disorder. Also discussed are some of the key concepts and tools that have been helpful in making improvements to his condition. Thank you so much, Greg, for your willingness to share your experience and help others in the process! FOR MORE INFORMATION, GO TO... http://smarterthanbpd.info
The presenter compares a person working on his or her mental health (and BPD) to a "mechanic working on a vehicle." The fact that Borderline Personality Disorder happens as a pattern and that humans are social beings who operate in patterns is explained. The need to make a paradigm shift in regard to how human emotions and behaviours manifest was highlighted, and why this can be so difficult to accomplish. The need to acquire vision (and the ability to "see" what was once unseen), tools, and understanding of the operations of mental health was emphasized. FOR MORE INFORMATION, GO TO... http://smarterthanbpd.info
The presenter explains his understanding of validation and why it is important to learn and practice in the process of overcoming Borderline Personality Disorder. The ways in which people accidentally hurt each other through unconscious invalidation during interactions are explored, as well as the long-term consequences of continuing to invalidate persons with BPD. The reasons validation works to settle the emotional areas of the brain are highlighted. The proper application of validation (including timing and genuineness) is explained.
The presenter introduces listeners to essential to understand, but often unknown or misunderstood, connections between events, interpretations, emotions, and behaviours that occur in BPD. Things happening in the brain before BPD is untreated are discussed. Learning to "see" what's happening (when it's happening in the mind and body, in each moment) is a vital first step for letting go of unnecessary guilt and shame, and for making adjustments to the BPD pattern. Skills to begin exploring to change the pattern are highlighted. Making the commitment to learn about mental health as individuals and families versus doing the opposite are discussed. FOR MORE INFORMATION, GO TO... http://smarterthanbpd.info
The presenter explains why the fight, flight system is overactive in persons with BPD, what this looks like in the brain and body, and how this contributes to many unnecessary life problems. Also explained are the long-term consequences to body and mind while BPD remains untreated. FOR MORE INFORMATION, GO TO... http://smarterthanbpd.info
The presenter elaborates on aspects of his childhood development and genetics that contributed to developing BPD. Common issues of childhood emotional neglect and the associated consequences are discussed. The pathways of thought, feeling, and behaviour that contribute to self-harm and self-destructiveness are revealed. The importance of quality connection and attachment for children with caregivers for preventing Borderline Personality Disorder is highlighted. FOR MORE INFORMATION, GO TO... http://smarterthanbpd.info
The podcast's subject and purpose are introduced. Aspects of the author's story are shared. The subject matter of forthcoming podcast episodes is described.