Unfollowing Mum: Recent Episodes
Harriet Shearsmith
A podcast for cycle breakers by someone who has lived the experience. Host Harriet Shearsmith knows first hand how challenging it can be to navigate estrangement, toxic family and dysfunctional dynamics in a digital age where setting boundaries and protecting your peace is harder than ever.
In 2023 we’re unfollowing mum. We’re breaking the cycle, unsubscribing from the drama by healing generational trauma and putting ourselves and our mental health first.
Each week I will answer your anonymous questions, discuss experiences and tackle the issues surrounding estrangement, generational trauma and navigating toxic families. Sometimes I’ll speak to experts, people with lived experience and other cycle breakers to share their point of view.
You’re not alone, there is a community of people navigating parenthood without solid role models, learning to love themselves after emotional abuse whilst breaking the cycle for the future generations 💜
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On this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith talks about Father's day and what that might have looked like for different people. Remember: you're not alone.
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On this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith talks to author Lyn Smith Gregory about religious trauma, abuse and the resulting estrangement from stepping out of the church.
You can find more about Lyn here: https://lynsmithgregory.com/about/
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On this episode host Harriet Shearsmith speaks with Sahaj Kohli, therapist, author of But what will people say? and founder of @browngirltherapy. Sahaj shares her wisdom about setting boundaries and navigating dysfunctional family dynamics as a bi-cultural child of immigrants and breaking generational trauma cycles within collectivist, multicultural families.
You can find Sahaj's book here:
https://amzn.to/3Vawj0N
And follow @browngirltherapy on instagram
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On this episode, host and coach Harriet Shearsmith talks to psychotherapist Harriet Gleeson about her experiences of estrangement due to lies and scapegoating. You can find Harriet at https://www.harrietgleesontherapy.co.uk or follow her on instagram at @the.good.enough.therapist
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On this episode, host and coach Harriet Shearsmith talks about fight response, anger and shame.
You can find her here: https://www.instagram.com/unfollowing_mum
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On this episode, host and coach Harriet Shearsmith chats with coach Emma Benyon about self care, guilt and setting boundaries as a cycle breaking parent.
You can find Emma here: https://www.instagram.com/emmabenyon.coach and https://emmabenyoncoaching.co.uk/
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On this week's episode, host Harriet Shearsmith chats to Rachel Varkey, host of It's Fine! Pod, about her experiences of generational trauma and toxic family dynamics as a child of immigrants. They talk about the 'that's just white woman stuff' myth that surrounds cycle breaking and challenging our generational trauma.
You can find Rachel here: https://www.instagram.com/itsfinethepod?igsh=N3Fjdmp5ZXRtNXE1
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On this episode, host and coach Harriet Shearsmith talks about setting boundaries with your partner's family and why it's so tough - from when they won't to navigating healthy reactions when you've never experienced them before, she breaks it down in this short episode.
You can get in touch with Harriet at @tobyandroo or harriet@tobyandroo.com
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On this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith talks about her experience of late ASD/ADHD assessment and how that feels as someone who grew up with a toxic parent. You can find Harriet at @tobyandroo on instagram and tiktok or email her at harriet@tobyandroo.com
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On this episode, host and coach Harriet Shearsmith chats about FOG - Fear, obligation and guilt, and how this is an essential part of the narcissistic parent't toolkit.
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On this episode, host and coach Harriet Shearsmith shares insights into Mother's day from the perspective of an estranged or low contact adult children from her instagram community and her own experiences.
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On this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith talks about baiting - why narcissistic parents do it and how you can combat against it.
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On this week's episode host and coach Harriet Shearsmith talks about endings - her relationship with them, how that is impacted by attachment styles and why it relates of our toxic parents.
As promised the recommended quiz for attachment styles is: https://www.attachmentproject.com/attachment-style-quiz/
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On this episode of the podcast, host Harriet Shearsmith is talking birthdays - her birthday, her children's birthdays and why birthdays are complicated when you have had a traumatic or difficult childhood.
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On this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith speaks to anonymous guest Victoria about her lived experience with emotionally immature parents, toxic, dismissive fathers and what relationships can look like with parents after accountability and when a repair has been made. You can find Harriet at @tobyandroo or @unfollowing_mum via tiktok or instagram.
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On this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith speaks to an anoymous guest about her experiences with sexual abuse growing up and how life looks after healing work. You can find Harriet at @tobyandroo or @unfollowing_mum on tiktok and instagram.
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On this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith talks about the pressures of post-christmas chaos, new year new you and toxic positivity in January. She shares some tops tips for working with the negative inner critic, and offers some advice around a new estrangement with parents.
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On this week's episode, host Harriet Shearsmith answers your boundary questions for the festive period and offers some advice on how to navigate an often challenging time. You can find her online at instagram.com/tobyandroo or instagram.com/unfollowing_mum
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On this week's episode, host Harriet Shearsmith talks to Cara MacB about her lived experienced as a non-binary, neurodivergent person growing up with a toxic parent and how that stifled her sense of self. You can find Cara at
Instagram: https://instagram.com/cara_macb
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On this week's episode, host Harriet Shearsmith speaks to an anonymous guest who shares her lived experience with an abusive narcissistic father and enabling mother. TW for conversations of childhood sexual abuse.
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On this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith chats with Christie Hayes, toxic mother wound coach and therapist about sibling sexual abuse, invalidation and toxic mother wounds.
You can find Christie at: https://www.instagram.com/toxic_mother_recovery and via her facebook group Adult daughters breaking free from toxic relationships with their mother.
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On this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith talks about trauma and some of the lesser known trauma responses that we experience after surviving childhood trauma.
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On this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith speaks to Rebecca Dominguez about her lived experiences with childhood trauma from an abusive mother, the pressures of "family" within the Hispanic community and spiritual abuse.
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On this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith talks about her experience of growing up with a single mum after her parent's bitter divorce and the weaponisation of single parenthood by toxic parents.
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On this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith talks to Marie Selleck, a licensed therapist and mother wound coach, about the power of thoughts, the mother wound, challenging our inner critic and breaking the cycle with our own kids.
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On this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith looks at a meme entitled "The estranged parent's perspective" and discusses why it's damaging to rebuilding relationships or validating adult children's feelings of hurt following abuse.
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On this episode host Harriet Shearsmith chats to "Jasmine" who shares her lived experience story living with a toxic and abusive father, and how she often felt dismissed and invalidated when she reached out for help as a teenager.
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On this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith talks about her experience of a recent health scare and the impact being estranged from her mother had on her fears, resentment and anger.
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On this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith talks about her experience of covert sexual abuse, her mother's toxic dating behaviours and the childhood trauma that comes with parentification & instability.
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On this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith chats to Stephen who has shared his lived experience story of a narcissistic mother, childhood trauma and life after estrangement.
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On this episode host Harriet Shearsmith speaks to women's transformation and empowerment coach Triinu Uprus about healing and moving forwards after trauma. You can find Triinu on instagram at @triinu.co
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On this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith talks about the financial implications of estrangement - a taboo topic within an already taboo topic! Student support, estrangement bursaries, childcare impact and more.
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On this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith talks to Resilience coach and podcaster Josh Connolly about toxic parents, addiction, weaponised trauma and how narcissistic people disguise themselves. You can find Josh at @josh_ffw on instagram and tiktok.
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On this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith talks about Jonah Hill and THAT boundaries text drama, weaponising therapy terminology and the grief after estrangement.
You can find Harriet on instagram, tiktok and threads at @tobyandroo or @unfollowing_mum
You can also book a 1:1 empowerment coaching session with Harriet at https://app.simplymeet.me/harrietshearsmith
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On this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith talks to parent/teen coach Katie Pratley about cycle breaking parenting of teens and her lived experience with parental estrangement over the last two decades.
You can find Katie at @thehappywellbeingclub on tiktok and instagram, at her FREE FB group Calm Connected Parent Club as well as her website thehappywellbeingclub.co.uk
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On this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith chats to Alexis Higgins about her lived experience with a toxic mother and childhood trauma.
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On this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith talks self responsibility vs self blame, challenging the inner critic and why we are so quick to tell people they are "consumed by trauma" when they discuss their experiences. Find Harriet @tobyandroo or @unfollowing_mum on instagram and tiktok or email her at harriet@tobyandroo.com.
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On this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith talks to author and life coach Ben Cole Edwards about the importance of breaking stigma and talking about our trauma, toxic parents and how it impacts us as adults.
You can find Ben at Ben Trauma Corner on tiktok, instagram and youtube.
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On this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith talks to Alisha, who shares her lived experience with a toxic parent who took her to court to gain access to her 3 month old grandchild. Alisha shares the court process, from mediation meetings to dealing with CAFCAS and the eventual outcome for her family.
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On this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith talks to psychologist and Mother/daughter relations personal trainer Dr Michelle Deering about boundaries. Find Dr Deering at:
Instagram: https://instagram.com/motherdaughterconnections
Coffee chat: https://calendly.com/motherdaughterconnections/coffee-chat?month=2023-05
Diffuse arguments: https://curativeconnections.ac-page.com/less-arguments
On this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith speaks with Libby Ward, digital content creator known as Diary of an Honest Mom, about childhood trauma and overwhelm as a cycle breaking mother. You can find Libby on Instagram at https://instagram.com/diaryofanhonestmom or buy her journal here: https://amzn.to/3VWtz7p
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On this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith talks about her experience with neglect as a child and why growing up with narcissistic parents makes that so difficult to reconcile.
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On this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith talks toxic shame and how we can parent our children without shame with therapist & parenting expert Maggie Nick who is known online as Maggie With Perspecticals.
You can find Maggie at : https://instagram.com/maggiewithperspectacles and https://www.tiktok.com/@maggiewithperspectacles
On this episode host Harriet Shearsmith talks with Dr Emma Svanberg, clinical psychologist and author of Parenting for Humans, about generational trauma, cycle breaking parenting and reparenting yourself.
You can find more from Emma at:
Instagram: https://instagram.com/mumologist
Buy her brilliant book "Parenting for Humans" https://amzn.to/3FaLKyP
On this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith talks to Jemma Wilson about her lived experience with an alcoholic mother and growing up raising her younger siblings as a teenager. You can find Jemma at https://instagram.com/roseandhoneyphotographer
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On this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith talks about the comments she receives from estranged parents across social media and WHY that happens?!
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On this episode host Harriet Shearsmith speaks candidly with author of An Adoptee's Journey: Letters of my life Gaynor CherieAnn about her experience growing up as an adoptee in a toxic family dynamic with a narcissistic mother.
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On this episode host Harriet Shearsmith talks about public figures and the impact they have on the societal perception of estrangement and the conversations surrounding it.
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on this episode host Harriet Shearsmith speaks to psychotherapists Helen Villiers and Katie McKenna who specialise in working with adult children of narcissistic parents, healing the effects of parentification and emotional abuse.
You can find Helen on instagram & tiktok via @liberationhelen or on facebook with Liberation Therapy and you can find Katie on instagram and tiktok via @katiemckennapsychotherapist . They have a joint podcast called In Sight - Exposing Narcissism whihc you can find on any streaming platform.
On this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith talks to Elspeth Van Der Hole about her experience with childhood trauma, toxic family dynamics and surviving estrangement following the death of her father.
You can find Elspeth at:
https://instagram.com/elspethfit
https://www.elspethillustrates.com/
http://www.elspethvanderhole.com/
On this special Mother's day episode, host Harriet Shearsmith talks about the grief and guilt that surrounds estrangement during holidays, especially days celebrating parental days.
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In this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith talks to the brilliant Abbey Williams (MSW,LSW) about the importance of community, estrangement grief and breaking the cycle as a parent.
For more from Abbey, you can find her at:
Instagram: https://instagram.com/youthemother
Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/youthemother
Her website for coaching & support: https://youthemother.com
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On this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith talks about the lack of self in adult children who are raised by narcissistic and toxic parents.
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In this episode host Harriet Shearsmith chats to Helene Rabbitt about her lived experience of estrangement from alcoholic and abusive parents. Lived experiences are a cornerstone of Unfollowing Mum pod, there is comfort in shared experience and knowing that you are not alone. Helene discusses how she found the strength to cut ties with her abusive, alcoholic parents and how childhood trauma has impacted her life.
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On this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith talks to mentor and self worth coach Michaila Tyson about the Motherwound. They discuss reparenting yourself, mothering without a positive role model and what it means to do the shadow work involved in healing from a dysfunctional or toxic dynamic with a mother.
You can find Michalia and her work:
Instagram: https://instagram.com/iammichailatyson
Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@iammichailatyson
On this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith talks about the legality behind cutting off toxic grandparents and talking to children about estrangement.
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On this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith talks about gratitude and whether that is something that we owe our parents, what scapegoating means and why it's used and asks why is it so hard for parent's of adult children who have cut them off to hold themselves accountable.
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Welcome to the first episode of Unfollowing Mum, a podcast for cycle breakers by someone who gets it. In this introductory episode, host Harriet Shearsmith talks about how Unfollowing Mum came into being, shares some of her story, addresses the importance of talking about taboos and looks at what estrangement really means.
Remember, whatever you're going through, you're never alone.
A podcast for cycle breakers by someone who has been there, who has navigated estrangement, toxic family dynamics and generational trauma in a digital age where setting boundaries has never been harder. You are not alone.
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