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Rabbi Richard Address-Jewish Sacred Aging
A forum for the Jewish Community with resources and texts that feature discussions on the implications of the revolution in longevity for Baby Boomers and their families.
Editor’s Note: Due to technical difficulties, this week’s Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast is only available as an audio podcast. We regret any inconvenience.
On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning Podcast, Rabbi Richard Address engages with Sarah Rosenson, author of Fan Fiction on the Book of Genesis.
They explore the themes of the Book of Genesis, including personal interpretations, family dynamics, the significance of silence, and the role of art in understanding biblical narratives. Rosenson shares her journey to writing the book, her unique perspective on Jewish identity, and the importance of asking questions about the text. The conversation emphasizes the fluidity of interpretation and the relevance of these ancient stories in contemporary life.
About the bookThe modern phenomenon of fan fiction involves readers writing creative pieces that answer questions left open in favorite works of literature. This also describes the ancient tradition of midrash, where readers write stories filling in gaps in the Bible.
Fan Fiction on the Book of Genesis discusses the questions left open in the first book of the Bible, and includes questions for the characters in the stories, which can serve as prompts for conversations or creative writing. It is perfect for anyone interested in reading Bible stories through a new and creative lens, people who enjoy creative writing and want to challenge themselves to write fan fiction/midrash on the Bible, and people who teach classes on the Bible and want ideas for discussion topics and questions.
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
Because of technical difficulties with this week’s recording, there is no video version of the program.
Listen to the Audio PodcastYou can listen to the audio podcast version in the player below, or subscribe to the podcast in one of the popular platforms by clicking one of the buttons below the player. If you do not see a player below, you can still listen to the podcast by clicking here.
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- Amazon Music About the GuestSarah RosensonSarah Rosenson has a B.A. from Georgetown University, a J.D. from the University of Pennsylvania, and an M.A. in Jewish Studies from the Spertus Institute. She practiced law for a decade, and then taught classes on ethics, philosophy, the Bible, and world religions at a private high school. She currently teaches adults both in-person and online for various institutions around the country.
Classes Sarah has created and taught include Artistic Depictions of the Bible from Michelangelo to Chagall, Difficult Stories of Women in the Bible, Children’s Bible Stories for Adults, Ethics Thought Experiments, Ethics in Modern Life, Ethics and Sports, Jane Austen and Philosophy, and The Hobbit and Philosophy, among other topics.
You can find her website at www.sarahsclass.net.
The post Unpacking Fan Fiction in the Book of Genesis with author Sarah Rosenson – Seekers of Meaning 8/7/2026 appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
Back in the 1990s, I returned to college to finish my Liberal Arts degree and continued on for a Master’s in Cross Cultural Psychology. As a single mom of three, I needed to work, keep up my studies, run a household and be there for my kids 200% (their dad had recently died). It was the best time of my life!
But I wasn’t prepared for empty-nest! My eldest daughter was away at college; my son was going to London for a college semester and my youngest was 11.
We were facing many changes; especially with two kids away, I could sense my young daughter was feeling the emptiness of our household, which was normally filled with people, fun activities, music, and weekend excursions! I decided to research what entailed having a live-in foreign exchange student as a companion and to fill an empty bedroom.
It was almost time for school to begin so my selection of European students was limited, and I felt a girl would be best for my daughter. Stefanie arrived from Germany to San Francisco just in time to start at our local high school as a sophomore. Her English was fair (German students began mandatory English study around 10-11 years old — today it’s younger).
She had no sense of slang or colloquialism, but that wasn’t her fault. She knew American vocabulary but not the cultural references. In fact, one day I told her we were going to a deli for dinner and she seemed unusually delighted. Stefanie’s personality was a bit difficult, not overly friendly or outgoing, she didn’t make friends easily and had a bit of a dark side. She didn’t seem to try to fit in with us or at school. So, I was pleased that she appeared happy to go to a deli for dinner!
When we were ready to leave, Stefanie came out dressed-to-the-nines in a cocktail dress, high heels, her hair done in an up-do, lots of make-up and a giant smile on her face! She looked at me and my daughter in our casual attire, she burst out into tears, ran to her room and we didn’t see her until the next morning! I learned that deli in Germany means something other than a corned beef sandwich!
I kept telling myself that it was a difficult transition for her to be away from all that was familiar to her. AND, I will admit my Jewish prejudice, I felt she exuded a GERMAN PERSONALITY, whatever that meant in my head! Was it a stubbornness or her acting superior? Was it my prejudice or perception or stereotype about Germans?
We had a conversation about the Holocaust, which I knew German students were taught in grades nine and 10. By the 90s, Holocaust education was firmly established as a historical, moral and civic part of German curriculum with visits to memorials, concentration camps, documentaries, listening to survivor testimonies. The subject was taught in a truthful manner without making young people feel personally guilty or responsible.
A bit of trivia: The rabbi that bat mitzvah-ed my youngest daughter was the son of Rabbi Joseph Asher, who fled Germany in 1938 and served as head rabbi for 19 years at the largest synagogue in San Francisco, Temple Emanu-El. In the 1960s, he was asked to return to Germany, where he and other German rabbis met with thousands of German teachers and helped create the secondary school Holocaust curriculum.
All German kids were required to take these courses before graduating high school and that continues today. He also became known for developing Jewish-Christian reconciliation and dialogue with postwar Germany. His approach reflected a very complex idea that remembering the Holocaust was not about condemning every German person but about building moral awareness and preventing future hatred. Quite a legacy!
So, after our discussion about the Holocaust, Stefanie simply said, “So I guess it doesn’t really matter what my grandfather did during the war!!” In that moment, I froze. 36 years later, I’m still grappling with her comment. What exactly did her grandfather do during the war? And what did she mean that it didn’t matter because the war was over? Was she unaware of what she was saying to a Jewish family?
She would often tell me she wanted to go out alone, explore San Francisco by herself (we lived 30 miles away and had good public transportation, the BART train) but I felt responsible for her and couldn’t let her go alone. When I offered outings together where she could bring a friend from school, she angrily refused and stayed in her room for the next 24 hours!
I was sad that we were not connecting emotionally. I was feeling I made a mistake with a German student UNTIL my 11-year-old daughter said, “Mom, maybe she’s just an angry teenager!” Out of the mouth of babes! I then became less critical of her. The experience of having Stefanie live with us was an eye opener for me and that is why I chose to do my Master’s Degree in Cross Cultural Studies!
While studying for that degree, I decided to work for the foreign exchange company that brought Stefanie to the States, coordinating their summer program in my area. It was seven/eight months of cold calling in my neighborhood for prospective host families, interviewing them and selecting the ones who had children around the same age as the European teens.
I had to trust my instincts that the families were prepared for a month of having a foreign/stranger/teenager in their home, feeding them, being responsible for them, carpooling them — European kids were fascinated by the concept of CARPOOLING! They wanted to know, “Don’t American kids ever walk anywhere?” An eyeopener for us Americans, as European kids take public transportation, buses and trains as a normal part of their life!
It was a big commitment by all members of the families. The students did come with their own spending money and the company had budgeted all the expenses for all the month-long activities into the fee their parents paid.
The first summer group was 30 kids from four different countries and it was a great time! I planned excursions and events five days a week and let the kids be with the families on the weekends. All the host siblings were always invited to attend all weekday activities.
Then I had this great idea that I didn’t need the international company, that I could start my own company! Now that I had a database of 30 European kids, I advertised in their cities, schools and neighborhoods and my first group with my company, GOING TO AMERICA! was 28 teens from Germany (yes, Germany!) and Austria. The only concept that was different was that I wanted these kids to understand America before they left, with a bit of history and cultural knowledge, so I developed a curriculum of American culture classes. I secured a classroom at a local elementary school for four days a week and we met from 9:00-12:00 where they got a crash course on what America was all about, the similarities and differences of our countries and cultures.
I was anxious how the teens would accept “school” during their vacation but for the next seven years, I never had a teen object to coming to morning class! It was very interactional, not a lecture series, as I wanted the students to participate in expressing their cultures with the end game being: We, as humans, have more similarities than differences! I learned so much from all the kids and those years were the most fun my kids and I have experienced!
How bad could it be going to ballgames, train ride to Sacramento with a tour of the Capitol Building, live theater performances, movies, barbecues, swim parties, and the highlight was the July Halloween party because European kids don’t do Halloween like we do!
From my hosting more than 150 kids during my seven years running this adventure, four came back to attend high school and a few returned to attend college in the US. To this day, I have a very close relationship with three of the teens, two from Germany and one from Switzerland, who today are all in their mid-50s! And they have stayed in touch with each other. We have written letters, then switched to emails and have Zoomed wonderful get-togethers!
1992 Foreign Exchange Students: Andy from Germany, Sibylle from Switzerland, Sandy Taradash, Temo from Germany!This warms my heart: Andy, from Germany, and my oldest daughter have connected via their careers and exchange business info and some clients! Of all the kids, Andy was the least of my expectations to end up with a PhD! He was the biggest goofball, never serious, long black/unruly hair and in the depth of summer, he always wore a black leather jacket! But today, he’s an exceptionally worldly, articulate, successful businessman, with three delightful children! He has told me more than once that his trip to Walnut Creek, California, with my leadership, changed the direction of his life, with the experience giving him a bigger view of the world and created a confidence within himself that he could be whatever he wanted to be. Boy, does that feedback mean so much to me!
So, with all this back story, I come to my point: We are never too old to learn something new. Last week, during a Zoom with Andy (who is not Jewish) and my kids, we asked him about recent antisemitism in Germany and he shared how the political right, AfD, is controversial with some members minimizing the Nazi past and using rhetoric that is historically insensitive to Jews and with a rise in antisemitic acts by other extremists.
Today, there are around 180,000-225,000 Jews in Germany, about 0.2% of the population, compared to the 525,000 before World War II. Approximately 84,000 Jews participate in Jewish life with activeness in synagogues, Jewish schools, cultural centers, museums and social events.
Germany’s legal framework is very strict with the use of symbols, speech and acts associated with Nazism, taking a more interventionist approach to restricting Nazi propaganda and Holocaust denial. Of course, their responses are shaped by its unique history and the commitment to protecting the Jewish communities and preserving Holocaust remembrance.
The highlight of our time with Andy on this last Zoom was when he emailed and shared with us something I was totally unaware of: stolpersteine (SHTOL-per-shty-nuh) which means “Stumbling Stones.” This is one of the world’s largest decentralized Holocaust memorial projects that was created in Germany. Each stone is a small concrete block covered with a brass plate, set into sidewalks in front of homes or workplaces commemorating Jews and other victims of the Nazi persecution.
Gunter Demnig, a German artist, created the project in 1992, with the concept that those murdered should be remembered in the exact places they lived and worked, where their lives began and where they were taken away and not just memorized in museums and with monuments.
To Demnig, the name Stumbling Stones was significant because he wanted people to stumble with their minds, not just their feet, and to stop, look down, read the information, and have a moment/encounter with someone who once stood in the exact spot. “Someone lived here. Someone worked here. Someone had a name. Someone belonged here.”
Each brass plate includes a person’s name, date of birth, what exactly happened to them — murdered, deported or died in a concentration camp, date of death, if available. The first stone was placed in 1996 and today well over 100,000 Stolpersteine are across Germany and other European countries.
It’s a project of importance and aligned with the Jewish remembrance tradition when we place a stone on top of a headstone when we visit the grave of a loved one, saying, “I was here,” and represents the memory and lasting bond of the living and the deceased. Flowers are nice but don’t last. A stone is permanent, as our reflections are.
Stolpersteinereminds us not to allow individuals to disappear into statistics. And most importantly, “May Their Memory be a Blessing.”
More than ever, I realize how my little business so many years ago of meeting, learning and caring for people from different countries/cultures has enriched my life, and those of my children, who pass on these values onto their children. When we don’t step out of our comfort zones, and do not engage with others unlike ourselves, we tend to be locked in a box, without having experiences that can open the world to us with enriched experiences.
The OTHER, not inherently negative, is a buzz word used in politics, sociology and psychology, referring to groups or an individual that is viewed as fundamentally different from us. It divides. It creates, “You’re IN or you’re OUT.” You’re alien. You’re inferior. All leading to contributing to prejudice, discrimination, exclusion.
All places we do not want to be part of, nor hopefully, want to make anyone else feel the stigma. The OTHER is not scary, just different, and we usually find we have more in common than not.
I most likely would not have gotten a master’s degree in Cross Cultural Studies, started a foreign exchange company, met over 150 teens from other countries, known about stolpersteine, if it weren’t for a couple of German kids who unexpectedly came into my life and enlightened me with opportunities to want to learn more than what is just in my neighborhood.
I highly recommend reaching out to someone that appears to be the other and comparing stories. You might be surprised at what you get in return and what you can offer someone else! We are NEVER too old to learn something new!
The post Stolpersteine…Germany’s Holocaust Project appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
Just a reminder of this month’s Both Sides Now webinar for older adults.
Our FREE webinars are facilitated by myself and Rabbi Mark Levin.
These are non-structured discussions inviting conversation about issues we are facing, from family to medical and more.
Feel free to join our next webinar on Monday, August 24, 2026 from 4 p.m.-5.30 p.m. US Eastern Time/3 p.m. – 4:30 p.m. Central Time.
To register please click here, or email markhowardlevin@gmail.com and put “We’re Aging” in the subject line so we can send you the zoom info.
Thanks
Rabbi Richard F Address
The post Next Both Sides Now Webinar is August 24, 2026 appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Dr. Steven Spector discusses his new book, God and the First Families: Parenting, Trauma, and Healing in the Book of Genesis. He focuses on trauma theory in Genesis, parenting styles in the Bible, and the psychological insights into biblical characters. This episode explores how ancient stories reflect human trauma and parenting dynamics, offering valuable lessons for modern life.
About the bookGod and the First Families offers a novel exploration of God’s role as a parent in the book of Genesis. Compellingly, author Stephen Spector introduces Americans’ four main perceptions of God and their four most common styles of parenting as lenses through which we can reckon with God’s own methods of parenting in the first biblical book.
God begins as an authoritarian parent who demands obedience and submission to authority, but shifts in striking ways. Next, God’s parenting seems entirely benevolent. Stunningly, God reverts to authoritarianism during the near sacrifice of Isaac―but then invents a new parenting style focused on guiding the characters’ moral and emotional growth. Many psychologists consider this the most successful childrearing method. Genesis reached that conclusion two and a half millennia ago!
Throughout, Spector engages with familiar stories―sibling rivalries, family ruptures, traumas―from unexpected angles. He dramatizes how parental love in Genesis builds resilience against trauma, another idea validated by modern psychology. Surviving trauma, healing from parental favoritism, repairing broken relationships, earning forgiveness, possibly even reconciling after injury―Genesis offers wisdom on all.
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions. If you do not see a player directly below this paragraph, you can still watch the video by clicking on this link: LINK
Listen to the Audio PodcastYou can listen to the audio podcast version in the player below, or subscribe to the podcast in one of the popular platforms by clicking one of the buttons below the player. If you do not see a player below, you can still listen to the podcast by clicking on this link: LINK
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The post Trauma and Parenting Insights from Genesis with Dr. Steven Spector – Seekers of Meaning 7/31/2026 appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
Looking to see what’s playing in our theaters? Back in 2023, I wrote my first column about movies. It was actually about watching coming attractions and confronting the reality that we may not be here when the movie itself opens. Then, starting in 2025, I wrote about “The Thursday Murder Club,” “Thelma”, “Eleanor the Great,” “Oppenheimer,” and “Marty Supreme.”
The themes were different, but the musings all revolved around movies. I even declared myself the Jewish Sacred Aging movie maven.
Then I went on hiatus.
First, I had to prepare a class for rabbinical students on pastoral perspectives on marriage and divorce. Given that my pre-clergy career included nearly fifty years as a divorce litigator and mediator, I had plenty of material — but preparing the course took a great deal of time. Then my wife had back surgery. Her mobility was severely restricted, and helping her recover took a great deal of energy.
Then, last week, I turned 75. That didn’t require any effort on my part. It happened whether I wanted it to or not.
But we finally made it to see Steven Spielberg’s new film, “Disclosure Day.”
Actually, before I saw it — we had to wait until Debbie was ready to sit through a two-hour movie — I got a call from my friend Steve.
“Carl,” he said, “we just saw ‘Disclosure Day.’ It was amazing. Wait until you see it. Maybe you could do a Spice Up on it.”
As many of you know, “Spice Up Your Judaism” is the Shabbat morning program we do at Congregation Kol Ami in Cherry Hill. We explore a variety of Jewish topics and try to leave people with a meaningful spiritual experience. Steve’s suggestion seemed so good that I decided not only to do a Spice Up, but to write a column as well.
So what makes “Disclosure Day” a worthy subject for a Jewish spiritual conversation?
The first question might be: Can Jews believe in extraterrestrial life? Tzvi Freeman, who answers questions submitted to Chabad.org, was once asked whether Judaism teaches that human beings are the only conscious beings in the universe.
“Certainly not!” he replied. In fact, the Lubavitcher Rebbe, Menachem Mendel Schneerson, remarked after the moon landing that Torah contains support for the possibility of life on other planets.
In the Book of Judges, Deborah celebrates Barak’s victory over Sisera and declares, “Cursed be Meroz! Cursed, cursed be its inhabitants, says the angel of God!”
The Talmud explains that Meroz was a star or planet. According to this interpretation, heavenly bodies came to aid Israel, but Meroz — and its inhabitants — did not.
We grew up on “Star Trek,” “Star Wars,” and of course the bookend to “Disclosure Day,” “E.T.”
The Star Wars galaxy was said to contains 3.2 billion habitable planets, supporting 20 million species of sentient beings. How could we now deny our childhood fantasies?
Scientists have discovered thousands of planets orbiting distant stars, making the question of extraterrestrial life seem less like science fiction and more like a legitimate scientific inquiry. Are we alone in the universe? What would it mean if we are not?
Judaism appears remarkably comfortable with the possibility that we are not alone. Jewish sources frequently describe multiple worlds. The Talmud even speaks of God traveling through 18,000 worlds.
Dr. Velvl Greene was a NASA microbiologist involved in the search for life on Mars. After becoming a Chabad Chasid, he privately asked the Rebbe whether his work was appropriate. The Rebbe responded: “Dr. Greene, look for life on Mars! And if you don’t find it there, look somewhere else in the universe. Because to say there is no life outside planet Earth is to place limitations on the Creator, and that is not something any of His creatures can do.”
If Judaism calls upon us to believe in an all-powerful God, then while we may not know whether life exists elsewhere, we certainly cannot dismiss the possibility.
Spielberg has said that “Disclosure Day” raises profound religious questions: Is God only our God, or the God of every civilization in the universe? The film explores what happens when an essential truth about our place in creation is suddenly called into question. But if intelligent life exists elsewhere, what does that mean for us?
In Genesis, for five days God looks upon creation and says it is tov — good. On the sixth day, after creating human beings, God says it is tov me’od — very good. What makes humanity “very good”? Only humans are explicitly described as being created b’tzelem elohim — in the image of God. But what if other intelligent beings also bear that divine image? What if we are not quite as unique as we imagine? Would they have their own creation stories, covenants, and sacred texts? Would they keep kosher?
Genesis also teaches that it is not good — lo tov — for the human being to be alone. Perhaps it is also lo tov for us to be alone in the universe. Judaism is, at its heart, a religion of community and connection. Perhaps there is comfort in imagining that we are part of something larger than ourselves — not just a global community, but a cosmic one, united by the same Creator.
So what is the fundamental truth? Is it that we are all created in God’s image and therefore obligated to care for one another? Or is it that scarcity demands competition and that we must fight for every last scrap? Are we alone and unique? Or maybe not alone and perhaps still unique?
Perhaps if we imagined that we are not alone — and that the “others” might look like Rocky from Project Hail Mary (not Rocky Balboa, although both are terrific characters) — we might focus more on what unites us than on what divides us.
What would the world look like then?
Better, I think.
The post Waiting for E.T. appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
Hesitantly, Ruth grasped the shiny brass handle of the large, beautifully carved temple door and was amazed at how easily it glided open, allowing her to step inside Temple Beth Sholom leaving the secular world behind. For what, she asked herself? It had been at least seven years since she was last in a temple.
It was seven years ago that Ruth decided to pick up stakes and move to Florida. Her husband of forty-three years had died, and they had vacationed there often. She was alone with a large house, so one day, without any family consultation with her two children, she put the house up for sale, told them to come over and take what they wanted, and never looked back.
Again she checked the ad in the paper about a lecture series, “Why Be Jewish?” that sounded interesting. Through the open door of the sanctuary, she saw the beautiful bimah and ark that suddenly woke long forgotten memories. And, surprisingly, they were good…
Following the signs in the lobby Ruth entered the meeting room. Standing there, in the doorway at the back of the hall, unsure, hesitant, looking down again at the ad in the local paper announcing the series open to all, she did not see a familiar face in the crowd. Intellectual curiosity and a cancelled bridge game was the reason she was now framed in that doorway of Temple Beth-Sholom.
Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all. “Why Be Jewish?” she asked herself, Judaism was just a word, nothing more. That she was Jewish, there was no doubt.
She and her husband had led a secular Jewish life, the same as her parents. They called themselves gastronomic Jews, intellectuals who stressed the importance of humanism and universal values rather than identifying with any particular group. No religious education or holiday observances except for Chanukah. It helped cushion the Christian celebration of Christmas, so it was raised to an important event in Ruth’s childhood and persisted throughout her married life as the one tie to the Jewish faith. Besides, she set the rules and eight days of presents was too hard to give up.
Looking across the room, she noticed an older gentleman who seemed to be in charge. She would learn later that George Feldman, chair of the program committee, was seventy-five and had been widowed for about three years. His marriage to his college sweetheart had been a good one. A natural athlete, he was six feet one inch tall and kept himself in shape. He had been a CPA and, when he retired five years ago, left his son a very thriving company. He was active in the synagogue, having served on the board, chaired many committees, often working with his wife, Hannah, and finally was persuaded to move up the chairs, ultimately becoming president of Temple Beth-Sholom.
George and Hannah were observant Jews, both coming from Orthodox households of their immigrant parents. Keeping kosher was as natural as breathing, and besides, Hannah had sworn she could taste the difference between a kosher and non-kosher chicken. Her death left a huge void in George’s life, and the temple did much to fill it.
Presently he was running a five-part lecture series at the temple on challenges facing the Jew in America. Looking around the nearly filled hall, he silently sighed in relief as fewer seats remained empty. Familiar faces, handshakes, tidbits of gossip and invitations from many female members for a home cooked meal or casserole to be heated later. Many casseroles had been heated in his microwave in the three years since Hannah’s passing. Many awkward moments, since George really had no desire for a relationship. His temple, children and grandchildren filled all his time and he was content. And then he saw her, standing there in the doorway at the back of the hall, unsure, hesitant, lost, looking down again at the ad in the local paper announcing the series open to all. Since he was the chair, he walked over to introduce himself
Over coffee that night, and much to the chagrin of those casserole making ladies, many other nights, they discovered lots of things they had in common, and much that wasn’t. Both were happy and content with the lives they had carved out from the void they experienced after their spouses’ death. Both were reluctant to enter a new relationship, the pain of their loss revisited, for a fantasy, an uncertain future with a person newly met.
Yet the comfort they felt with each other was hard, if not impossible, to deny. Both were Jews, but at opposite ends of the spectrum. How does one deal with “intermarriage” at an advanced age.
“I guess I could learn to keep kosher,” she said
“I always loved the smell of bacon,” he said.
“I have never belonged to a temple or celebrated the holidays,” she said.
“I could teach you the blessings for the Shabbat candles,” he said.
“I’m not really into the holiday celebrations except Chanukah where those eight days are very important to me,” she said.
“I’ll do those eight days in style if you give me a few during the year, maybe three,” he said.
“Three for eight sounds like a good deal,” she said.
“I think we can figure it out,” he said. “After all, I was a CPA all my life.”
And then they broke into peals of laughter as they realized what they were doing and how quickly the future unveiled itself.
Moving in together was another matter. There was no question that it would be Ruth’s place. Her place already had the woman’s touch. However, overcoming the generational taboo of “shacking up” took more time. Marriage? As a CPA, his calculations suggested it didn’t make sense. Anyway, they decided not to have any children, so why bother? It took about six months to break through, but last month George had an apartment clearing sale, packing up his clothes and treasures in some boxes. The only piece of furniture he took, if you can call it that, was an antique steamer trunk he had gotten from his grandfather. It had an old, half crumpled photo of some girl sitting at the beach pasted inside the lid. Grandpa said it was someone from his village.
Getting adjusted didn’t take as much time as they feared. It was rather natural. Quite different from the first time around when raging hormones drove all decisions and life’s experiences were so few. Now, hormones still, but not as raging, and with years of experience behind them, the decision to spend the rest of their life together was based on more solid ground. They fell into an easy, comfortable life together. They each promised to keep their old interests and allow new interests to evolve naturally. Somehow, some of the old interests were already becoming less important as times together became so rewarding.
Watching sunsets over the Gulf of Mexico became a favorite time of theirs.
They went later in the day, when cooler temperatures made sitting and sharing more comfortable. They had their favorite bench nestled close into the dunes away from the crowds. So there they sat as the sand, showing no mercy, swept across the empty beach propelled by the invisible power of a storm. Only gulls and sandpipers braved the relentless onslaught, on their endless quest for food. The sky, still blue, allowed the sun’s rays to warm them. In the distance the roiling sea melted into the steel gray sky of the impending storm as Ruth huddled closer into George, a slight shiver coursing through her body.
“What’s the matter, dear? I felt you shiver. Cold?”
“No, George, just thinking, you know, about the children and their reaction.”
Strands of silky gray hair found freedom from the scarf around Ruth’s head and flew in haphazard patterns across her smooth, olive toned face and serene green eyes. Unconsciously, she gathered them back up and returned them to their temporary home. George sat quietly, thinking of the problems ahead. He drew her closer still, as if to assure them both, things would be all right.
Ruth loved the smell of George. It had been a long time since she allowed herself to be close to a man. She forgot how much she missed the intimacy. Not just making love, but this, sitting close, holding hands, snuggling into his protective fold.
“When are they coming down?” George asked. “There’s lots to prepare, I think.”
“Oh, I forgot to tell you, they called last night and said they’re planning to arrive next Thursday. I’m worried George, really I am. I don’t think they got over my move here.”
Sand skittered along the beach setting up the appearance of rapidly moving clouds rushing across a pebbled sky. Bits of paper and dune grass occasionally flew by, breaking the mosaic of carefully crafted chaos.
“Ok,” he said, turning to plant a kiss on her forehead. “We’re going to be fine. After all at our age, do we really need permission from our children to live? No, everything will be O.K, I promise.”
She looked up at him, his smiling reassuring eyes, and full head of salt and pepper hair. Quite handsome, she said to herself. Suddenly, she reached up and pulled his face to hers and kissed him. “I love you, I really do.”
“Makes us even then,” he said and returned the favor with a kiss of his own.
The westward moving sun in time caught up to the eastward moving storm. It was time to go.
Lying in bed later that night, Ruth snuggled once again into George’s welcoming arms, quietly savoring their awareness of the other. Finally George asked, “If we had met when we were young, do you think we’d have been attracted to each other?”
Ruth was still for a long moment, then, running her fingers slowly through his hair, kissing his neck for added reassurance to them both, said, “I don’t think so. I wasn’t ready for dessert before the meal started. I always saved the best for last.”
He kissed her then as evening crossed the invisible line to tomorrow.
And it was good…
The post The Dessert: Jewish edition, version 2 appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Rabbi Richard Address interviews novelist Barbara Viniar about her book ‘Little Bird,’ exploring themes of immigrant history, women’s independence, and personal transformation. Discover how her family history inspired her storytelling and the insights into Jewish-American life across generations.
Barbara shares how a family photograph sparked years of research into her grandmother’s past, and how the space between documented history and imagination became the heart of the novel. Their conversation explores immigration, Jewish identity, women’s independence, family secrets, and the creative process of turning inherited stories into fiction.
They also discuss the novel’s central character, Fanny, whose journey from obligation toward self-determination reflects both an immigrant experience and a deeply personal search for agency.
About the BookIn 1910, fearing escalating violence against the Jews in Russia, Feige’s father arranges for her to marry a wealthy cousin in New York City.She will no longer be her parents’ adored “little bird.” As she adapts to life in America, she goes from being an obedient daughter to a dutiful wife, even allowing her new husband to change her name to Fannie. Longing to make her own decisions, her husband’s cruelty finally pushes her to risk leaving him. She parlays her embroidery skills into a job and finds the man she believes is the love of her life. When he betrays her, she refuses to forgive him, disregarding advice to overlook men’s lapses. Finally, she meets a man who both loves and respects her. Can she give up her hard won independence? Little Bird is the story of a girl who finds the courage to forge her own path to womanhood.
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions. If you do not see a player directly below this paragraph, you can still watch the video by clicking on this link: LINK
Listen to the Audio PodcastYou can listen to the audio podcast version in the player below, or subscribe to the podcast in one of the popular platforms by clicking one of the buttons below the player. If you do not see a player below, you can still listen to the podcast by clicking on this link: LINK
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- Amazon Music About the GuestBarbara ViniarBarbara Viniar was born and raised in the Bronx, New York. After 40 years of leadership in public higher education, including two community college presidencies, she retired to the Berkshires in 2018. At various times in her career, she taught English and Women’s Studies as an adjunct at the undergraduate and graduate levels. Her doctoral dissertation was “Women’s Moral Development in Contemporary Fiction.”
In retirement, Viniar turned to blogging and writing a daily Haiku. During COVID, a chance discovery about her grandmother compelled her to imagine the story that became her debut historical novel, Little Bird, published by Sibylline Press in August 2025.
Viniar is currently working on her second novel.
Author page: https://www.barbaraviniar.com
Substack : @barbaraviniar
Facebook: barbara.viniar.9
Instagram: @barbaraviniar
The post Novelist Barbara Viniar’s Journey: From Family Roots to Fiction – Seekers of Meaning 7/24/2026 appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Rabbi John L. Rosove, senior rabbi emeritus of Temple Israel of Hollywood, discusses his new book, Finding Your Moral Compass: Jewish Values for the 21st Century.
About the BookFinding Your Moral Compass places enduring Jewish values in a 21st century context, offering a thoughtful and enriching guide for those seeking ethical direction and spiritual grounding through and in Jewish tradition.
In this collection of 40 essays, Rabbi John L. Rosove explores foundational Jewish values and helps readers affirm their Jewish identity while drawing connections between Jewish teachings and universal moral principles.
Rosove combines classic scholarship, compassion, and personal experience in his reflections upon Judaism’s age-old moral and ethical traditions and Jewish identity as they have evolved over centuries and since the Holocaust and the establishment of the State of Israel.
As a thought-leader at the forefront of social justice and liberal Israel activism in North America, Rosove draws from his personal experiences to present moral clarity and an ethical compass for liberal Jews and all who are interested in contemporary Judaism. With accessible prose and heartfelt insight, this collection of essays invites liberal Jews – and anyone interested in finding moral clarity – to consider how Jewish wisdom can serve as a compass in navigating today’s world.
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions. If you do not see a player directly below this paragraph, you can still watch the video by clicking on this link: LINK
Listen to the Audio PodcastYou can listen to the audio podcast version in the player below, or subscribe to the podcast in one of the popular platforms by clicking one of the buttons below the player. If you do not see a player below, you can still listen to the podcast by clicking on this link: LINK
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- Amazon Music About the GuestRabbi John L. RosoveRabbi John L. Rosove is Rabbi Emeritus of Temple Israel of Hollywood in Los Angeles where he served as Senior Rabbi from 1988 to 2019. He is a past National Chairman of the Association of Reform Zionists of America (ARZA) representing 1.5 million Reform Jews, a member of the International Advisory Council for the Israel Movement for Reform and Progressive Judaism (AIC), and a past national co-Chair of the Rabbinic and Cantorial Cabinet of J Street (a pro-Israel, pro-peace, and pro-democracy political organization based in Washington, D.C.).
John is the author of four books –
Finding Your Moral Compass – Jewish Values for the 21st Century – to be published by the University of Toronto New Jewish Press in April, 2026 – please check back then
From the West to the East – A Memoir of a Liberal American Rabbi (Fresno: West of West Center, 2024) – available from the publisher directly here and at Amazon.com.
Why Israel and its Future Matters – Letters of a Liberal Rabbi to the Next Generation with an Afterword by Daniel and David Rosove (New Jersey: Ben Yehuda Press, 2019 – 2nd edition, 2023) with a Foreword written after October 7, 2023 – available from the publisher and at Amazon.com.
Why Judaism Matters – Letters of a Liberal Rabbi to his Children and the Millennial Generation with an Afterword by Daniel and David Rosove (Nashville: Jewish Lights Publishing, a division of Turner Publishing Company, 2017) available at the publisher and at Amazon.com.
John is a co-editor of Deepening the Dialogue – Jewish-Americans and Israelis Envisioning the Jewish-Democratic State (New York: CCAR Press, 2020), in English and Hebrew. Available from the publisher and at Amazon.com.
John translated and edited the Hebrew biography of his Great-Granduncle – Avraham Shapira – Veteran of the Haganah and Hebrew Guard by Getzel Kressel (publ. by the Municipality of Petach Tikvah, 1955). The translation was privately published (2021).
John also translated and edited a book of Hebrew poetry, letters and writings by his Israeli cousin Michael Shapira (1933-1952) called In the Prime of his Days with an Introduction by Hebrew University Professor Yosef Yoel Rivlin, Michael’s cousin and the father of the former President of the State of Israel, Reuven Rivlin (published by Michael’s parents, Devorah and Yitzchak-Tzvi Shapira of Petach Tikvah, 1953). The volume was given to John by Michael’s parents in 1973. The translation was privately published (2022).
John was the 2002 Recipient of the World Union for Progressive Judaism International Humanitarian Award and has received special commendation from the State of Israel Bonds. In 2013 he was honored by J Street at its Fifth Anniversary Celebration in Los Angeles.
John wrote a series of 8 Jewish Life Cycle Guides. The Guide Preparing for Jewish Burial and Mourning appears on the web-site of Hillside Memorial Park and Mortuary in Los Angeles. (http://hillsidememorial.org/jewish-lifecycle-guide/).
John writes a regular blog that appears at The Times of Israel at https://blogs.timesofisrael.com/author/john-l-rosove/ and this blog – https://rabbijohnrosove.blog/. His Facebook site is www.facebook.com/RabbiJohnLRosove – his LinkedIn site is https://www.linkedin.com/in/rabbijohnrosove
John is married to Barbara. They are the parents of two sons – Daniel and David. Daniel is married to Marina. John and Barbara have two grandchildren and live in Los Angeles.
The post Finding Your Moral Compass: Jewish Values Explained, with Rabbi John Rosove – Seekers of Meaning 7/17/2026 appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
This coming Tuesday night begins the Hebrew month of Av. I will write more next week as to the importance of the 9th of Av, known as Tisha B’Av, but as that day is important in Jewish history, so too is the month of Av.
Av is the fourth month of the Hebrew calendar year. While it revolves around the day of great tragedies, the 9th of Av, the month and the day actually hold great significance in a positive way. Listen to the following story found in the Jerusalem Talmud:
The following tale which we have from R. Yudan, son of R. Ayvu, proves it: One day, a Jew, while ploughing his field, heard his cow cry out. An Arab, who was passing by, also heard it. He cried, “Son of Judah, son of Judah! Quiet your cow, put down your plough, for the Temple is destroyed!” The cow bellowed a second time. “Son of Judah,” said the Arab, “Son of Judah! Take back up your cow and your plough, for the King Messiah has just been born!” (Jerusalem Talmud Berakhot 2:4:12-5:1)
In other words, from tragedy comes celebration, from sadness comes joy. As it states so beautifully in Psalm 30 verse 11: “You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy”. Surely, the Tradition’s teaching that on Tisha B’Av the Messiah will be born, reflects this understanding as well. As the Messianic idea in Judaism is one of hope that the sadness of the day is but the first step toward redemption, then tomorrow the darkness of life will be dispelled, and the sun of life and peace will come out.
I am not going to write that when the lyricist Martin Charnin wrote these words from the Broadway musical Annie:
“The sun will come out
Tomorrow
Bet your bottom dollar
That tomorrow
There’ll be sun! Just thinking about
Tomorrow
Clears away the cobwebs
And the sorrow
‘Til there’s none!”
he had in mind this teaching about the month of Av and its 9th day, but it sure seems so.
As we now enter this month of Av, let us all pray that all its negative energy be changed to the positive, a positive force in our lives for a world with peace, harmony, mutual respect, and a true understanding that only when humanity comes together can our futures will be strong and long lasting.
Judaism is a religion whose spiritual foundation lies in Emunah, faith, a faith that whatever a people or an individual is going through, no matter how tough the experience might be, it will turn around and things will get better. While some might comment and say that this is just pie in the sky, certainly our Jewish history, at least, has shown it to be true. From the ashes of the Holocaust the beautiful state of Israel was born. May this be so as it was in the past; may it be so today as well.
The post Tisha B’Av: From Tragedy to Redemption appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
I’m a two-time cancer survivor. In my 50s, I had breast cancer, then thyroid cancer. Now in my mid 80s, I’m cancer-free. I feel healthy and strong — and have a hunch I’ll remain that way for a good while. But I didn’t always feel so confident. In fact, I struggled mightily to recover psychologically and spiritually from my bouts of critical illness.
Devastated by my first cancer diagnosis, searching for information to help me cope, I came across a slew of articles and books on the mind-body (or holistic) model of illness — a paradigm which says that mind, body, and spirit are interconnected and profoundly influence one another. Won over by attention-grabbing titles like “Let Your Mind Heal Your Body” and “Think Your Way to Health,” I initially embraced the model wholeheartedly.
Although I found helpful some aspects of the mind-body approach (especially meditation and visualization), I came to feel that many holistic health proponents distorted the link between the mind and body. Oversimplifying the connection, they argued (and still do) that the wrong kinds of thoughts and feelings create illness and that it’s only by changing these that we get well. Three myths underpin this oversimplified concept of illness, myths that made my encounters with cancer much more difficult than they otherwise would have been.
The Inner Defect MythA medical diagnosis can shake the very basis of one’s identity, making even the most psychologically sound among us feel guilty and ashamed. The Inner Defect Myth intensifies these corrosive feelings by viewing illness as a sign that something is awry in our inner lives. Here, for example, is what Dr. Bernie Siegel (a pioneer in mind-body medicine) writes in Love, Medicine, and Miracles: “The simple truth is, happy people generally don’t get sick.” Believing that cancer in particular “fulfills [a] . . . psychological need,” he goes on to argue that “traumatic loss” typically precedes a cancer diagnosis and, if that loss isn’t “properly dealt with,” the body often responds by developing a “malignant growth.”
How did I respond to this idea that something out of balance at my core led to my breast cancer? Frankly, it sparked deep feelings of guilt and self-blame. It’s understandable if we blame ourselves for getting sick; being ill creates feelings of helplessness; blaming ourselves may create less anxiety than accepting that often there seems to be no reason at all why we become ill. Others may also blame us for getting sick. When I had thyroid cancer, a colleague asked me, “Why do you think you got cancer again?” –– his assumption being that I got cancer a second time because something in my life was still out of kilter.
These feelings of self-blame can be especially powerful when the illness is cancer. Before my first diagnosis, I’d had run-ins with a couple of significant medical issues. But none of them delivered the psychological wallop of cancer. One minute I was fine; the next minute — POW –– I was someone who gets cancer. And since cancer often evokes images of misshapen, diseased cells spreading throughout the body, I felt almost ashamed of my illness.
These awful feelings were multiplied many times over by my initial acceptance of the mind-body notion of the “cancer personality.” According to several holistic proponents, cancer patients fit a particular profile. In Getting Well Again, Dr. Carl Simonton, a prominent mind-body practitioner, writes that cancer patients tend to be emotionally repressed and pessimistic; they feel unloved and unappreciated; their lives lack meaning and purpose
But it’s a huge oversimplification to view the health of the body as a reflection of psychological or spiritual well-being. What about the role of heredity, diet, environmental exposure, even random chance? And look at the traits typically associated with the so-called cancer personality — emotional repression, childhood pain, dissatisfaction with life, you name it. Doesn’t just about everyone exhibit some of these at one time or another? Does an infant with leukemia have unresolved emotional issues? Don’t we all know someone who radiates psychological health but who’s been diagnosed with cancer?
So, if you’re ill and feel burdened, as I did, by an essentially blame-the-patient interpretation of your illness, take yourself off the hook. It’s the myth that’s defective, not the person who’s ill.
The Mandated Cheerfulness MythIf the first myth makes us responsible for getting sick, the second makes us responsible for recovering. The Mandated Cheerfulness Myth argues that maintaining a positive attitude is essential to getting well. Indeed, Dr. Siegel goes so far as to claim that “attitude…is the single most important factor” in getting better. Our immune system, he contends, can fight grave illness only when we transform negative emotions into positive, upbeat energy.
Clearly, dealing with illness is easier if we’re confident and hopeful. But this be-positive-at-all-costs edict threw me for a loop when I had breast cancer. I felt anxious about feeling anxious, fearing any emotion that smacked of negativity would do me in.
Insisting on a positive frame of mind leaves the seriously ill little room to respond authentically. Shortly after my second cancer diagnosis, a well-intentioned friend called to see how I was doing and kept assuring me “Don’t worry. You’ll be fine, just fine. Aren’t you lucky you caught the cancer early!” Her maddeningly chipper comments left no space for me to say, “Hey, you know what? I don’t feel fine. I don’t feel lucky. I feel angry and scared.”
Experiencing enormous anxiety after the phone call, I grabbed paper and pen, trying to sort out what I was feeling. Jabbing my pen into the paper, I listed all the fears that haunted me. And guess what? As soon as I gave myself permission to not pretend that everything was hunky-dory, my anxiety lifted dramatically.
So here’s the second bit of advice I’d like to pass along.
If you’ve received a ticket from the Attitude Police because you feel depressed, angry, or terrified when you’re ill, take the ticket and tear it up. We need to let ourselves feel whatever we feel. Being anxious and frightened doesn’t mean we lack courage—or that our immune system won’t be mobilized to fight illness. Yes, attitudes and emotions affect the immune system. But the upbeat and optimistic don’t always survive grave illness while plenty of scared, angry folk do.
The Transformation MythThe final myth, the Transformation Myth, says that if we really want to get well, we must fix the painful personal issues that led to illness in the first place. Arguing that “there are no incurable illnesses, only incurable people,” Dr. Siegel contends that once a patient repairs what’s askew, the body “can eliminate the disease because it’s not part of the new self.”
During my first bout with cancer, the idea that I’d get better if I transformed what needed repair gave me a much-needed sense of control — at first. But soon I crashed with a loud thud. My cancer had shaken me with volcanic force. Every loss, fear, and trauma I ever experienced surged to the surface; my life seemed riddled with fault lines threatening to give way at any moment. The transformation myth made me feel I had to resolve this inner turmoil quickly. What if I didn’t fix things fast enough or if, heaven forbid, I fixed the wrong things? My cancer began to feel like a test I had to pass. If I flunked the test (that is, if I died), it would be— some of the holistic health literature seemed to suggest — my own fault.
Nowadays I know people can survive cancer without exorcising deeply rooted demons — just as people can die despite having resolved major inner turmoil. It’s not as simple as many holistic practitioners claim.
No, I don’t believe we get ill because there’s something deep inside that needs fixing. Yet … I have to acknowledge that my cancer did serve as a catalyst for healing emotional wounds and awakening the spirit.
Reeling from the impact of my first diagnosis, I signed up for biofeedback sessions, hoping they’d help me manage my anxiety. Skeptical that they were doing any good, I went to my last appointment, slowed my breathing, relaxed my muscles — and felt more anxious and despairing than ever! Tension at an all-time high, I was suddenly flooded by light –– a glorious golden, honey-colored light. And suddenly I began to sob, but they were cleansing tears. My fears lifted and were replaced by a profound sense of peace and well-being.
This experience with the golden honey-colored light set me (an analytic, linear type of person) off in a surprisingly spiritual direction. So much so that several months later, I woke up one Friday morning, singing Rocking My Soul in the Bosom of Abraham. “This is weird,” I thought. “Why am I singing this? What could it possibly mean?” Then I heard myself answer, “Go to synagogue tonight”—an unusual response from someone who for decades had dismissed religion as personally irrelevant.
That evening I did go to synagogue and, on the way in, I picked up some literature outside the sanctuary. One item, the synagogue newsletter, was called The LIGHT! Chuckling at the coincidence of it all, I entered the sanctuary, sensing that I (a card-carrying skeptic) had somehow stumbled upon a kind of faith, one that’s helped sustain me over the years.
Illness can bring about other changes too. We may emerge with a greater appreciation of our own inner strength. Nowadays I sense within myself a bedrock resilience and grit I don’t think was there years ago. Also, consider this additional point: Although a significant medical challenge may shatter our sense of invincibility, this deepened awareness of mortality can be a blessing. It reminds us how important it is to make the most of the time we do have. It keeps us focused on the essential, on what gives life meaning, purpose, and joy. A final personal story illustrates what I mean.
When I had breast cancer, I told a friend I was thinking about becoming a literacy volunteer — something I had planned for years but never gotten around to doing. As I spoke, an image flashed in my mind of me and a future student sitting side by side, exchanging triumphant smiles, as the student finished the first book she had ever read. So powerful was the image, I choked up, couldn’t catch my breath, and had to stop speaking. In that moment, I knew I couldn’t put off becoming a literacy volunteer; it was something I had to do. Soon afterwards, I started volunteering and, since then, have worked with under-educated adults, at-risk children, refugees, and immigrants, helping them learn to read and write — work that’s added to my life immeasurable meaning and joy.
Many mind-body proponents believe we get seriously ill for exactly this reason: to teach us how to live fuller, more realized lives. Which brings me to my final message. Some of us may emerge from illness transformed, but I don’t think that’s why we got sick. And there’s no guarantee that transformation — if it even occurs—will bring health. We may resolve personal pain; we may visualize ourselves well and happy; we may discover a spiritual foundation; we may commit ourselves to doing meaningful work. These are wonderful strategies for living well, and taking such steps helps us feel we’re playing an active role in getting better. But such measures don’t — much as we’d like — necessarily banish illness from our lives.
Sometimes illness just happens.
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On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Neil Friedman, co-founder of Jewish movie and TV show streaming service ChaiFlicks.com, talks about the platform’s mission, content, and impact on the Jewish community. In conversation with Rabbi Richard Address, Neil explores the evolution of Jewish film and TV, the importance of storytelling, and how ChaiFlicks serves as a cultural and educational resource.
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions. If you do not see a player directly below this paragraph, you can still watch the video by clicking on this link: LINK
Listen to the Audio PodcastYou can listen to the audio podcast version in the player below, or subscribe to the podcast in one of the popular platforms by clicking one of the buttons below the player. If you do not see a player below, you can still listen to the podcast by clicking on this link: LINK
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- Amazon Music About the GuestNeil FriedmanNeil Friedman, Founder and President of Menemsha Films, possesses an incomparable talent for unearthing the undiscovered masterpiece. Neil Friedman is the President of Menemsha Films, a U.S.-based distribution and international sales company.
Menemsha, founded by Friedman in 1998, set a record by representing five Academy Award nominees, five years in a row: Divided We Fall (Czech Republic), Son of the Bride (Argentina), Zelary (Czech Republic), Prisoner of Paradise (Canada), and Story of the Weeping Camel (Germany).
Menemsha is most recently known as the U.S. distributor of the British comedy “Dough” starring Jonathan Pryce, which grossed over $1.2 million at the U.S. box office. Prior successes include the German film “Gloomy Sunday,” which grossed $1.5 million and broke foreign-language box office records previously set by “Cinema Paradiso” (as well as records for the longest-running film release at 70 weeks), and the acclaimed documentary “The Rape of Europa,” which grossed $1.2 million at the U.S. box office.
Neil’s years of experience as Vice President of New Line Cinema, President and C.O.O. of the Pressman Company, and Co-chair of William Morris’ Independent Feature division gave him unparalleled skills and expertise.
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We come this week to the final portion in Numbers, a double portion Matot-Ma’aseh. It is a challenging portion as it deals with leadership issues in many ways.
We have a difficult and challenging section dealing with the war against the Midianites. We confront a moral issue in 31 when Moses confronts the commander who reports that they spared the women and children. The anger of Moses is the subject of much concern and comment. No doubt the those of you who will study Torah this Shabbat will spend some time on this passage.
But there is another section in this portion that speaks to issues that may be impacting many of us. In 32, the tribes of Reuben and Gad ask Moses to allow them to set up their camp outside the promised land. An interesting conversation takes place that touches on community, loyalty, and responsibility. In the end, Gad and Reuben are given the permission, and they promise to continue to be part of the community. They sought the validity of their own lifestyles.
Now, this little story can speak to us today. In many of our families, we have observed our children and grandchildren who have decided to make lifestyle choices that may differ from those that we have made, or that we may consider outside the norm. Yet, today, the concept of the “norm” has significantly changed. Gad and Reuben do not wish to separate themselves from the community, rather, they wish to live their lives in their own way as part of the community, to be accepted for their choices. There is a negotiation of sorts with Moses, just as there is within many of our families. Let me suggest that this little story can be seen as a pathway to discuss how families, out of love, can embrace and support lifestyle choices of loved ones that may differ from what we have chosen. Yet, remember, just like the portion, there is room for these choices within our community, a community that harkens back to the primary ethical and humane aspect of being in the image of the Divine.
In a world and society that seeks to undermine so many of these choices, we would do well to remember Gad and Reuben.
Chazak Chazak V’nitchazek
Shabbat shalom
Rabbi Richard F Address
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On this week’s encore presentation of the June 19, 2026 Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Rabbi Josh Franklin discusses his new book, Where Are You? Finding Yourself in the Bible, exploring spiritual geography, the meaning of Eden, and the ongoing revelation of Torah. This episode offers deep insights into biblical themes, Hebrew language, and personal spiritual growth.
The question God asks Adam—Where are you?—still echoes across generations. This book explores the biblical world as a mirror of the human heart, charting a path through the emotional geographies of Torah: beginnings, wandering, revelation, rupture, exile, and return. Rabbi Josh Franklin weaves text, midrash, psychology, and personal story to show that places in Scripture chart the lifescape of human experience. More than a book about the Bible, this is an invitation to locate oneself—spiritually, morally, and emotionally—in the stories of Scripture.
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions. If you do not see a player directly below this paragraph, you can still watch the video by clicking on this link: https://vimeo.com/1202809311?share=copy&fl=sv&fe=ci
Listen to the Audio PodcastYou can listen to the audio podcast version in the player below, or subscribe to the podcast in one of the popular platforms by clicking one of the buttons below the player. If you do not see a player below, you can still listen to the podcast by clicking on this link: Podcast
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- Amazon Music About the GuestRabbi Josh FranklinRabbi Josh Franklin is the Senior Rabbi of the Jewish Center of the Hamptons in East Hampton, where for the past nine years he has helped revitalize and grow the Jewish community through engaging programming, transformative learning, inspiring worship, and expansive community outreach. Each summer, hundreds gather weekly for Shabbat on the Beach, an innovative and spiritually resonant prayer experience that has become a hallmark of Jewish life on the East End. Year-round, Rabbi Franklin draws people to the synagogue for learning, reflection, and meaningful communal connection.
Beyond the synagogue, Rabbi Franklin is deeply involved in the broader Hamptons community. He co-authors a bi-monthly column in Dan’s Papers titled “Hamptons Soul,” exploring questions of spirituality, ethics, and justice. His civic engagement has included service on the East Hampton Police Reform Committee and the Adolescent Mental Health and Substance Use Task Force. He also serves on the board of L’Arche Long Island, supporting adults with developmental disabilities. In recognition of his leadership, Rabbi Franklin was named to the 2021 Schneps Media Powerlist and was honored by Dan’s Papers as one of its 2022 “People of the Year: East Enders Who Made the World a Better Place.”
Rabbi Franklin was ordained at Hebrew Union College after graduating magna cum laude from Clark University, where he earned both a B.A. and an M.A. in History. He holds additional master’s degrees in Jewish Education and Hebrew Literature and was a recipient of the Daniel and Bonnie Tisch Fellowship, a selective rabbinical program focused on congregational leadership, personal theology, and contemporary religion in North America. Prior to his tenure in the Hamptons, he served on the clergy team at Temple Beth Elohim in Wellesley, Massachusetts.
In the summer of 2026, Rabbi Franklin will relocate to Palm Beach Gardens, Florida, where he will begin a new role as Co-Senior Rabbi of Temple Judea. He lives with his wife, Stephanie, and their two children, Lilah and Amelia.
The post ENCORE: Finding Yourself in the Bible: Insights from Rabbi Josh Franklin – Seekers of Meaning 7/3/2026 appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
250 Years in AmericaAs the United States of America celebrates 250 years from our independence from Great Britain, the sentiment doesn’t feel like “So proudly we hail,” as our country is in a place even an episode of “Twilight Zone” couldn’t imagine. Especially for baby boomers who grew up as post-war children, when we naively experienced a calm of pride, oneness and patriotism.
Many of our relatives were products of the Holocaust; countless becoming American citizens. Our fathers were soldiers during WWll which brought our allegiance to honor our Constitution and the rule of law closer to home.
Saying the “Pledge of Allegiance” every day in school reminded us of what American stood for, strived for, and that we could imagine and work towards achieving the American Dream.
But as we entertain the Fourth of July 2026, and its meaning, so many of us feel a dread for what our grandchildren will not have, will not be able to take for granted, and what they may have to work for to regain the pride of the “Red, White and Blue.” Picnics, gatherings, fireworks, good old-fashioned-apple pie may not be the heartfelt celebration we have experienced in the past.
Can the end of one administration in 2029 return us to “the-good-old-days?” or will it take years or decades to bring us back to the “normal America” we knew? Will our grandchildren be the ones to restore “And our flag was still there?” Only time will tell, and hopefully, we baby boomers will live long enough to feel some relief for our grandkids’ future.
Because 85-90% of Jews in the US are of Ashkenazi background, we tend to think all Jews came from Germanic-speaking Europe, while only 10-15% came from Southern Europe-medieval Spain and Portugal and are referred to as Sephardic Jews.
Appearing in the Hebrew Bible, the word Ashkenaz represents the name of a descendant of Noah. Noted by Jewish scholars during the Middle Ages, Ashkenaz refers to German-speaking lands of Europe, so Ashkenazi Jews whose ancestors lived primarily in Germany and later throughout Central and Eastern Europe, became known as Ashkenazi Jews.
A distinct culture was developed through customs, prayers, foods and language. Many of us are familiar with the Yiddish our grandparents spoke, which was a combination of German, Hebrew and other languages. Most Jewish delis are a menu of matzah ball soup, bagels, challah, kugels and gefilte fish.
The Hebrew word Sephardic, or Mizrahi, came to be identified with Spain and Portugal Jews before the expulsions of 1492 and 1497 who then settled across North Africa, the Middle East, the Ottoman Empire, the Caribbean and some parts of Europe.
The Sephardic Jews spoke Ladino, a Judeo-Spanish combination and based on Hebrew and medieval Spanish, combined with other influences. Their typical dishes included Mediterranean-style recipes, rice, couscous, stuffed vegetables, fish and olive oil-based dishes.
Because they lived in different parts of the world, the two groups developed different religious customs, Hebrew pronunciations, cuisine and music but shared the same deep faith in Judaism and its history.
The first Jewish settlers arrived in America in 1654 and were Sephardic, making New Amsterdam, today’s Manhattan/New York City, their home. Over the next several decades, Atlantic port cities like Newport and Philadelphia became small Jewish communities. Eventually, Jewish merchants moved up and down the Atlantic coast creating new Jewish settlements where jobs could be had from fishing, shipping and trade.
By the 1700s, Jews ventured to the South where economic and trade opportunities became enticing as a center for tobacco, rice, indigo, sugar and molasses, deerskins and furs, lumber and timber, cotton, and opening stores with ship building goods. Jewish entrepreneurs made good money by starting to import goods from Europe and the Caribbean.
Charleston, South Carolina was a welcoming place for Jews allowing them religious freedom, to work, own property, and be participants in civic life. It was the home of Kahal Kadosh Beth Elohim, one of the oldest Jewish congregations in the US, established in 1749. Other major Southern Jewish settlements in the 1700s were Savannah, a major center for commerce and Jewish life; Richmond, inviting for merchants; and Norfolk, a small port for maritime trade.
In colonial America, Jews, being Jews, tended to gravitate to coastal cities for entrepreneurial commerce, shipping and trade businesses rather than be isolated on farms and rural areas. In the late 1800-1900s, there were small numbers of Jewish agricultural spots in New York and New Jersey, but today’s statistics show Jews are overwhelmingly non-farmers, a tiny fraction well under 1%.
An interesting side note about colonial America: Larry David, Jewish comedian, actor and “Seinfeld” TV show creator, was recently on an episode of “Finding Your Roots,” where genealogical records revealed that his great-great-grandfather, Henry Bernstein, owned two enslaved girls, 17 and 4 years old! Bernstein immigrated from Bavaria, now Germany, in the early 1850s and settled in Mobile, Alabama and during the Civil War he served on the Confederate side. David’s reaction to this information was shock and discomfort!
During the 1860s, the Jewish population in the South was only about 150,000 and some Jews did own slaves and fight for the Confederate, but most opposed slavery and fought for the Union. The most famous Jewish Confederate was Judah P. Benjamin who served as Attorney General and Secretary of War for the Confederate government and Secretary of State for Jefferson Davis, (1861-1865), the president of the Confederate States of America, during the Civil War.
In the 1820-1880s, Jews began to migrate to the Midwest as a major destination after the opening of the Erie Canal in 1825. The cities of Milwaukee, Chicago, St. Louis and Cincinnati grew because of the possibilities of river commerce.
In 1819, Issac Mayer Wise was born in the Kingdom of Bohemia, then part of the Austrian Empire and today is the Czech Republic. He migrated to the US in 1846, arriving in New York, and within a few months he accepted a position as a rabbi in Albany, New York. Eight years later he moved to Cincinnati where a Jewish community was already developing. While in Cincinnati he transformed the city to the national center of American Reform Judaism by founding Hebrew Union College, the rabbinical seminary for what is now known as the Union for Reform Judaism. Because of his influence by the late 19th century, Cincinnati has often been called the Jerusalem of the West by American Jews.
“Go West, young man!” was popularized by influential New York Tribune writer Horace Greeley in the 1850s as advice to aspiring Americans seeking opportunity on the undeveloped Western frontier. The Jewish migration after the 1848 Gold Rush wasn’t led by any one Jewish leader but was encouraged by families learning of business opportunities.
Some of the most famous Jewish pioneers who went West and changed the landscape of American industry are:
Levi Strauss, who came from Bavaria in 1853, arrived in San Francisco and built a dry-goods business that became Levi Strauss & Co. He sold clothing, fabric and supplies to miners and workers, and in 1873 partnered with a tailor from Nevada, Jacob Davis, who had the idea of reinforcing work pants with copper rivets at points that tore easily. Strauss helped finance and patent the idea. Early on these pants were made from sturdy cotton duck cloth and later a tougher fabric known as denim. The indigo-blue color became the signature denim and was his legacy. Levi Strauss became one of the most successful Jewish immigrants in the American West, not for digging gold but for giving the world JEANS!
Adolph Sutro came from Prussia and his family settled in Baltimore around 1850. Wanting to seek his fortune during the Gold Rush, he made his way West and became one of the most influential Jewish pioneers in the American West. With his arrival in San Francisco in 1851, he worked several jobs before opening tobacco stores. He did not become wealthy by mining for gold or with his tobacco stores but realized helping miners to solve problems would be more profitable.
His biggest accomplishment was the famous Sutro Tunnel in Nevada at the Comstock Lode silver mines where he created a drainage system to improve ventilation making mining safer for thousands of miners. The project took many years and made him a wealthy man. He returned to San Francisco and was known as a civic leader, remained identified with the Jewish community while supporting Jewish charitable causes.
He built the Sutro Baths, one of the largest indoor swimming complexes in the world, the public gardens in Sutro Heights Park overlooking the Pacific Ocean and the Sutro Library; he restored the historic Cliff House that sits atop a cliff with amazing ocean views, (it became a restaurant that once was a rowdy gambling destination and since the late 1880 has been a restaurant. I’ve been there and the surroundings are stunning vistas of California coastline!), and he supported affordable public transportation for ordinary working families. In 1895, Sutro was elected as San Francisco’s 24th mayor.
Isaias W. Hellman was from Bavaria and he and his brother traveled by ship in 1859 via crossing the Isthmus of Panama while landing in California. Instead of going to the East Coast, they went directly to Los Angeles where relatives welcomed them. At the time, Los Angeles had only a few thousand residents and was a rough frontier town. His vision saw tremendous opportunity in the growing American West.
He started his career by working as a clerk for his cousin’s dry good store and learned English and Spanish, saved his money and within six years opened his own clothing and dry goods business. Frequently, his customers asked Hellman to safeguard their gold and valuables in a safe in his store. This ignited an idea that there was a need for reliable banking services in growing communities. What turned out to be a banking business started as a courtesy to his customers.
In 1868, he established one of Los Angeles’s first banks; three years later co-founded Farmers and Merchants Bank and other banks, including Wells Fargo. He invested in railroads, electric streetcars, oil companies, agricultural and real estate, bringing Southern California to a growing modern economy. He was one of the founders and major financial supporters of the University of Southern California, supported Jewish charities and institutions which reflected a belief in his philanthropy.
These three Jewish pioneers shaped the American West with their innovations, hard work, integrity and played a major role in the economic development in Los Angeles and San Francisco. (In case you’re wondering like me, Isaias Hellman was not related to Richard Hellman, of Hellman’s/Best Foods Mayonnaise, a German Jewish immigrant who moved to New York in the early 1900s, opened a deli in Manhattan and began selling his wife’s homemade mayonnaise!)
Let’s note the obstacles, difficulties, challenges and deprivations the brave foreign Jews experienced on their journey to the Old West. The schlep could take weeks or even months, depending upon the weather, traveling via wagon or stagecoach, which was very uncomfortable and straining on the body, dealing with children and often older relatives, with life focusing on survival. They had to make difficult compromises while trying to hold onto their identity. The biggest challenge was kosher food as there were no kosher butchers, markets or rabbis along the way. They packed foods that would keep well, such as pickled foods, smoked or dried fish, bread, crackers, dried fruit, nuts and hard cheeses.
Pikuach nefesh is the Jewish principle of the obligation to preserve human life, so when kosher food was not available and their lives were at risk, it was permissible to eat foods that otherwise would not be allowed. During this long journey, the Jewish travelers relied on this principle and tried to avoid eating pork or shellfish, while others ate whatever was necessary to stay alive.
On the Sabbath, and if holidays were during the journey, they lit candles they brought, said traditional prayers and continued to observe as best they could while in the middle of nowhere. If other Jews were on the same journey, they would band together for their common observances and adapted to keep the end goal in mind — a better life.
The emotional hardships that were the most difficult were leaving parents, siblings and friends behind, often forever; having to learn a new language and customs; worrying about raising children in a new environment with or without synagogues and a Jewish community; experiencing new landscapes as mountains, deserts, vast open spaces, very different from their homelands. Homesickness was a major problem.
Most pioneer Jews never abandoned their Judaism, they adjusted to a different life-style while creating synagogues, schools, cemeteries, Chevra Kadisha, the volunteers who performed burial duties, and charitable organizations.
By the 1870s, California became a major center of Jewish life with San Francisco being one the largest Jewish centers in the United States, roughly 10,000-15,000 Jews, ranking behind only a handful of Eastern cities like New York, Philadelphia and Baltimore. By the 1920s, the population in Los Angeles, with its growing economy, surpassed San Francisco, and was the second largest next to New York City.
A pattern for Jewish pioneers is that they settled where commerce was expanding, like in Nevada in the 1860s where a sizable community was established form general stores, banking, finance and real estate; Denver and Leadville, Colorado developed important Jewish centers with the mining boom; Arizona, New Mexico and Montana were smaller Jewish communities and centered around trading posts and mining towns; later in the 19th century, Portland, Oregan and Seattle, Washington became growing populations with their waterfronts creating successful financial opportunities.
Some of the most noted Jewish immigrants to make a major influences with their innovation, creativity, entrepreneurship, hard work and dedication to better the world are: Albert Einstein, Germany; Henry Kissinger, Germany; Joseph Pulitzer, Hungary; Irving Berlin, Russia; Samuel Goldwyn, Poland; Anna Freud (daughter of Sigmund), Austria; Gerty Cori (Nobel-winning scientist) Austria; Lise Meitner (key figure in discovery of nuclear fission) Nazi Germany; Hedy Lamarr (actress and co-inventor of the key technology called “frequency hopping” which guided torpedoes harder to jam by rapidly switching frequencies during WWll, which led to the technology behind cell phones, Wi-Fi, Bluetooth, GPS systems!) Austria. And not to mention ALL the prominent American-born innovators who have changed the world.
As we celebrate 250 years of this “experiment in democracy,” with hopes for a sustainable future from the ideals of our Founding Fathers, let’s celebrate and remember those who came before us who paved the way for our cities, economic successes, innovations, freedoms to be and practice in your own way, and honor their courage with acknowledgement of where they/we all came from. We are a melting pot within our Jewish ancestry.
Somewhere over the rainbow, dreams that people once dared to dream in distant lands came closer to reality in the United States of America, where those dreams did come true. On this Fourth of July, let’s pray for the living legacy of our country. PRAYERS for a HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY CELEBRATION!
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Just a reminder of this month’s Both Sides Now webinar for older adults.
Our FREE webinars are facilitated by myself and Rabbi Mark Levin.
These are non-structured discussions inviting conversation about issues we are facing, from family to medical and more.
Feel free to join our next webinar on Monday, July 27, 2026 from 4 p.m.-5.30 p.m. US Eastern Time/3 p.m. – 4:30 p.m. Central Time.
To register please click here, or email markhowardlevin@gmail.com and put “We’re Aging” in the subject line so we can send you the zoom info.
Thanks
Rabbi Richard F Address
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On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Rabbi Amy Grossblatt Pessah discusses her upcoming book, The Wholeness of a Broken Heart, exploring resilience, renewal, and the spiritual journey through grief and loss. She shares personal stories, insights on faith, community, and the power of rituals in healing.
This book shares a lived experience of loss, hope, meaning, and spiritual courage in Judaism. Pessah’s book is rooted in honesty and compassion, emphasizing the need to meet life as it is—without denial—while cultivating meaning, connection, and joy.
All humans will experience trials, tribulations, or traumas, and Pessah tells the story of losing her twenty-year-old son to brain cancer. While some of us will have more intense challenges than others, there is no doubt that being human is hard, always. This book addresses this universal human condition from the perspective of Jewish spirituality.
Through Jewish texts and teachings, Rabbi Amy engages with the big questions—suffering, responsibility, purpose, and God—with depth, accessibility and emotional intelligence. Full of personal anecdote, as well as lessons learned from the lived experiences of others, The Wholeness of a Broken Heart honors brokenness as part of the human experience and helps the reader to find joy, meaning, purpose, and connection.
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions. If you do not see a player directly below this paragraph, you can still watch the video by clicking on this link: LINK
Listen to the Audio PodcastYou can listen to the audio podcast version in the player below, or subscribe to the podcast in one of the popular platforms by clicking one of the buttons below the player. If you do not see a player below, you can still listen to the podcast by clicking on this link: LINK
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- Amazon Music About the GuestRabbi Amy Grossblatt PessahRabbi Amy Grossblatt Pessah is a spiritual leader, educator, and author with more than 35 years of experience in Jewish education and spiritual counseling. She is a trusted voice on resilience, renewal, grief, and sacred living — and a sought-after speaker for synagogues, conferences, podcasts, and media.
The post The Wholeness of a Broken Heart: Healing Through Jewish Spirituality, with Rabbi Amy Grossblatt Pessah – Seekers of Meaning 6/26/2026 appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
The court tells the witnesses: Therefore, Adam the first man was created alone, to teach you that with regard to anyone who destroys one soul from the Jewish people, i.e., kills one Jew, the verse ascribes him blame as if he destroyed an entire world, as Adam was one person, from whom the population of an entire world came forth. And conversely, anyone who sustains one soul from the Jewish people, the verse ascribes him credit as if he sustained an entire world. —Talmud, Sanhedrin 27a
The Cosmos is within us. We are made of star-stuff. We are a way for the Universe to know itself. — Carl Sagan
Someone laid the petals in the
big dictionary again. We always do that,
placing such things in heavy books,
wishing to hold what we know
will inevitably pass. — Laurence Levine, “The Power of Accident”
In a recent rabbinical course for my work with the International Institute for Secular Humanistic Judaism, we explored death through the lens of secular spirituality and the philosophy of Secular Humanistic Judaism with Cantor Jonathan Friedmann. How do we make sense of death in a Humanistic sense? How do we maintain reverence for the deceased without a traditional framework of God to influence our thinking?
In our discussion, I talked about my experiences as a physician witnessing death in the hospital. Sometimes you will be speaking with a patient in their bed in the morning, and a few hours later they die. When you witness this and compare the human being before you before and after death, there is something subtle yet demonstrable lost when a person passes. There is some kind of essence missing in a dead body, a sense of energy or exuberance that is missing. Indeed, the lights have gone out.
Traditional religion might say that the person has passed on to the next world or has “gone to a better place.” For those, like me, who don’t hold those beliefs, there is a different sort of reverence that you can have for the deceased, and for the life that they have led. I have no evidence for the existence of a “next world,” and while something of us may linger on after the physical body is gone, I think that this may miss the point of honoring the dead and their legacy.
The “next life” to me is to live on in human memory. There is an overwhelming awe that a person can feel when they behold a dead body, knowing that just moments before an entire world was encompassed in that person, a living and breathing circuit of memory, love, disappointment, loss and aspiration. The Talmudic passage Sanhedrin 37a speaks poignantly to this, and here I paraphrase to make the quote more universalist and less Jewish-referential: it speaks of the fact that when a life is lost, it is as if a whole world has been destroyed.
This is a beautiful truth, one that hits quite hard when in the presence of death. To begin my medical school career, we began by dissecting a cadaver of a person who had donated her body to science. As we went about our work over the ensuing months, in what was a traumatic experience by all rights, I found myself thinking quite deeply about the life that she had lived. The tissues that we were dissecting were made of the stuff of countless meals over a lifetime: who had she enjoyed these times with and what were her favorite foods? The neural circuits in her brain (which I held in my hand), although now decayed, held countless of her own memories and experiences: graduating from high school, falling in love, perhaps the birth of her first child and likely many weddings and funerals.
The truth about death is that while we are physically gone, while whatever spark that animated and defined us is now dull, we return to the endless cycle of matter and energy within the universe. Carl Sagan was right, we are “made of star-stuff,” a clump of inanimate atoms and molecules that somehow forms the basis of the entire world that encompasses the life of a human being. We can only know so much about the universe, no matter how intimate we are with a person. I think one of the tragedies of death that we feel most intensely is the realization that there are things that we will now never know and discover about the person who is lost.
I take solace in the notion that someday, we will all meet again. This time, we may not greet each other with hands, or look each other in the eyes, or say “I love you.” This time, our atoms will intermingle, blown by stellar winds and pulled to various corners of the galaxy by the force of gravity. These atoms are not even mine; they have belonged to many and much before me and will form the basis for what comes after me.
Let me end with the words of Primo Levi, “In the Beginning”:
Fellow humans, to whom a year is a long time,
A century a venerable goal,
Struggling for your bread,
Tired, fretful, tricked, sick, lost:
Listen, and may it be mockery and consolation.
Twenty billion years before now,
Brilliant, soaring in space and time,
There was a ball of flame, solitary, eternal,
Our common father and our executioner.
It exploded, and every change began.
Even now the thin echo of this one reverse
catastrophe
Resounds from the farthest reaches.
From that one spasm everything was born:
The same abyss that enfolds and challenges us,
The same time that spawns and defeats us,
Everything anyone has ever thought,
The eyes of every woman we have loved,
Suns by the thousands
And this hand that writes.
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I knew my father had served in World War II, co-piloting a B-24 bomber through 35 missions over France and Germany. He never talked about the war, but stayed in the Reserves, finally retiring as a Major. I remember watching as he put on his dress uniform for Reserve meetings.
During a visit to my parents’ home, I discovered an 8.5 x 11-inch spiral-bound book titled The Replacement Crew, authored by Richard Baynes, my father’s pilot. Because their flying missions commenced in July 1944, his B-24 crew was assigned as a replacement for a crew that had completed its tour of duty and was returning home.
The book detailed their time in the Air Force, then called the Army Air force, from their training through their last mission with biographies of all the oUicers on the plane
As I read the book, the esteem I had for my father quadrupled. I finally realized that he and his crew had courageously put their lives on the line through 35 perilous missions and had returned home safely.
I began reading other books about the Eighth Air Force of which he was a member. One of the more important things I learned was that the P-51 fighter planes probably were instrumental in saving his and the rest of the crews’ lives.
My dad began flying combat missions just months after P-51s started escorting bombers. Previously, only P-38s and P-47s escorted bombers, but their limited fuel capacity restricted them to just crossing the English Channel. The P-51s had enough range to accompany them all the way to the targets and back.
Drawing on my experience as a journalist, I am adapting Baynes’ book to honor my father’s bravery for future generations. I have already written 40 pages.
When my father died, he was buried with full military honors as he deserved. When completed, I will give copies to my son and daughter in the hopes that they will pass it along to their children and to future generations. For the rest of my life I will cherish my fathers’ bravery as well was the bravery of all the men and women who put their lives on the line in the service of our country.
They will always be heroes.
David Friedman
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On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Rabbi Josh Franklin discusses his new book, Where Are You? Finding Yourself in the Bible, exploring spiritual geography, the meaning of Eden, and the ongoing revelation of Torah. This episode offers deep insights into biblical themes, Hebrew language, and personal spiritual growth.
The question God asks Adam—Where are you?—still echoes across generations. This book explores the biblical world as a mirror of the human heart, charting a path through the emotional geographies of Torah: beginnings, wandering, revelation, rupture, exile, and return. Rabbi Josh Franklin weaves text, midrash, psychology, and personal story to show that places in Scripture chart the lifescape of human experience. More than a book about the Bible, this is an invitation to locate oneself—spiritually, morally, and emotionally—in the stories of Scripture.
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions. If you do not see a player directly below this paragraph, you can still watch the video by clicking on this link: https://vimeo.com/1202809311?share=copy&fl=sv&fe=ci
Listen to the Audio PodcastYou can listen to the audio podcast version in the player below, or subscribe to the podcast in one of the popular platforms by clicking one of the buttons below the player. If you do not see a player below, you can still listen to the podcast by clicking on this link: Podcast
- Apple Podcasts
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- Amazon Music About the GuestRabbi Josh FranklinRabbi Josh Franklin is the Senior Rabbi of the Jewish Center of the Hamptons in East Hampton, where for the past nine years he has helped revitalize and grow the Jewish community through engaging programming, transformative learning, inspiring worship, and expansive community outreach. Each summer, hundreds gather weekly for Shabbat on the Beach, an innovative and spiritually resonant prayer experience that has become a hallmark of Jewish life on the East End. Year-round, Rabbi Franklin draws people to the synagogue for learning, reflection, and meaningful communal connection.
Beyond the synagogue, Rabbi Franklin is deeply involved in the broader Hamptons community. He co-authors a bi-monthly column in Dan’s Papers titled “Hamptons Soul,” exploring questions of spirituality, ethics, and justice. His civic engagement has included service on the East Hampton Police Reform Committee and the Adolescent Mental Health and Substance Use Task Force. He also serves on the board of L’Arche Long Island, supporting adults with developmental disabilities. In recognition of his leadership, Rabbi Franklin was named to the 2021 Schneps Media Powerlist and was honored by Dan’s Papers as one of its 2022 “People of the Year: East Enders Who Made the World a Better Place.”
Rabbi Franklin was ordained at Hebrew Union College after graduating magna cum laude from Clark University, where he earned both a B.A. and an M.A. in History. He holds additional master’s degrees in Jewish Education and Hebrew Literature and was a recipient of the Daniel and Bonnie Tisch Fellowship, a selective rabbinical program focused on congregational leadership, personal theology, and contemporary religion in North America. Prior to his tenure in the Hamptons, he served on the clergy team at Temple Beth Elohim in Wellesley, Massachusetts.
In the summer of 2026, Rabbi Franklin will relocate to Palm Beach Gardens, Florida, where he will begin a new role as Co-Senior Rabbi of Temple Judea. He lives with his wife, Stephanie, and their two children, Lilah and Amelia.
The post Finding Yourself in the Bible: Insights from Rabbi Josh Franklin – Seekers of Meaning 6/19/2026 appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
From the Ten Commandments, we all know the enduring scriptural call to honor fathers, a timeless and respectful instruction or urging from G-d as a spiritual obligation to show our love and respect.
In Judaism, we place such deep emphasis on fathers not only as providers, but as vessels of knowledge, transmitters of tradition, moral voices and protectors of identity. In Jewish tradition fathers are less defined by authority and more by actions, stories, ethics and rituals while leaving a legacy of teaching: A parent does not merely give life — a parent helps give meaning to life. The greatest fathers leave their children not only an inheritance, but a moral compass.”
Fathers come in all shapes and sizes, colors, ethnicities and religions, and one doesn’t have to be our father or blood-related to give them the respect they deserve.They can be grandfathers, uncles, teachers, coaches, spiritual leaders, heads-of-state, friends, icons from the past or present or someone you have never met or just have high regard for who they are.
Fathers can be cultural touchstones of role-modeling who shape a family or have changed the world by their conduct, example and legacy. Some shape a generation. A few shape the conscience of the world.
But the common thread for FATHER is what they represent to us, what they have taught us and how they have treated us. But most importantly, I believe, is the message we have learned from their life experiences.
Can you answer the WHO, WHEN, WHERE, WHY and HOW has your father figure influenced your life, given you sage advice, shown examples of courage and strength, and taught you a lesson that you’ve never forgotten, or shared an example of the way you want to live your life?
Abraham is referenced as the Father of Nations because G-d promised that many nations and people would descend from him. His two sons, Isaac and Ishmael, are said to be regarded as ancestors of the Israelites and Islamic traditions, which then views Abraham as an ancestral patriarch model of Jewish and Muslim beliefs, while Christians regard him as a model of faith. He is not remembered primarily as a warrior or ruler, but as a father to the beginning of faith, covenant, hospitality and ethical responsibility. Abraham, who opened his tent to strangers, ties Jewish fatherhood to welcoming, offerings of water and shelter while treating all people with generosity and dignity.
Though Moses was not called the “father of the Jewish people,” his role was the liberator of the Israelites out slavery from Egypt, profoundly paternal as its shepherd, protector and formative teacher. All qualities of a devoted parent as he helped G-d’s children move from bondage to independence. His leadership was emotional, sacrificial and deeply human. Moses taught a community how to survive, how to protect, guide and build a nation.
Like fathers who imagine the future for their children, two Jewish figures who had visions for a home for their own mishpacha were Theodor Herzl and David Ben-Gurion. Herzl is seen as the father who conceived an idea and inspired a dream for a modern Jewish homeland when it seemed almost impossible to fathom. His fatherly attributes of vision and foresight inspired hope for a unifying purpose while calling a dispersed people toward a common goal and grounded future. Herzl was Israel’s dreamer and catalyst and the father of the modern vision for Jews all over the world.
Ben-Gurion, The Founding Father, took the vision and turned it into a working model like a parent who raises, protects and establishes a household. His fatherly attributes were institution building, strong and practical leadership, courage during crisis, and his want to make difficult decisions for the long-term welfare for his people. Ben-Gurion guided Israel through its infancy as the father of the modern state.
Known as “The Father of the United States,” George Washington exemplified fatherly qualities while holding together an inexperienced army throughout its hardships. He showed great leadership, perseverance, determination, courage and calmness under immense pressure. His honesty and sense of duty endeared him to his soldiers as he led and served the cause and not for personal gain. After two terms as President, Washington stepped away hoping to teach that principles, not ego, made a great leader. With virtues one hopes for in a father, Washington led less by force and more through example.
His commitment to holding the nation together, like a father would during hardships, Abraham Lincoln exuded profound paternal leadership. He cared deeply for the cause, his soldiers, their widows and families and all citizens suffering during the Civil War. He believed deeply in moral guidance for freedom, equality and reconciliation. Lincoln was a fatherly statesman showing courage, compassion and sacrifice while modeling the protective heart of a father on a national scale during its darkest hours.
Martin Luther King Jr.’s fatherly voice still inspires us today as he spoke and championed justice in the deepest of human terms. His stature and presence as a spiritual father to millions of people has been remembered as the paternal conscience for the nation to challenge each other to surrender hatred, bitterness and violence so people could better their lives – -something all fathers want. Martin Luther King Jr. will be honored and remembered as the voice of fatherly moral courage and conscience for America.
Other heroic fatherly figures who influenced the world are Nelson Mandela, Elie Wiesel and currently President Volodymyr Zelenskyy, with their voices and actions resulting in nation building.
Thomas Edison, Henry Ford, the Wright Brothers and Steve Jobs were fathers of innovations that have made the modern world modern.
Entertainment innovators who were the father figures to mirror storytelling, theater and cinematic blockbusters were William Shakespeare, Eugene O’Neill, Charlie Chaplin, Walt Disney, Steven Spielberg, Oscar Hammerstein ll and Steven Sondheim. They explored concepts of love, loss, conflict, fear, family, relationships and the human experiences we all live. They expanded our imaginations to new possibilities while showing audiences to see life through the eyes of others, highlighting empathy with a hopeful goal of teaching their audience lessons: A father’s hope for successful fatherhood.
And those who went above the norm to show how determination and creating out-of-the-box genres of music we listened to were George Gershwin, Louis Armstrong, Elvis Presley, The Beatles and Johnny Cash: Each composing and producing new sounds. All fathers of change whose originality enriched our artistic experiences, broadened human connection by bridging cultural divides, and inspired new talents to move beyond the traditional and mainstream sounds.
To name a few sports figures who exemplified fatherly attributes with characteristics of leadership, courage, social progress, humility, perseverance, character, discipline and sportsmanship, were Jackie Robinson, Babe Ruth, Lou Gehrig, John Wooden, Bill Russell, Vince Lombardi, Joe Louis, Jesse Owens and Muhammad Ali (who I had the great pleasure of meeting! A lovely gentleman!) Like father figures, these sports icons have influenced and shaped lives with their excellence in physical and emotional strength, fair play and integrity, on and off the playing field.
And then there was MY Father, Marvin (Greenberg) Greene: A protector, a mentor in writing, natural beauty, creativity, art and music. He was a soldier in Europe during World War II and left a personal diary of his experiences on the front lines and his writings are my greatest personal treasure. He was a man with great work ethics, discipline, who was loving, giving and kind, often giving employment to those who needed to work. Gone too soon at 38 years old, he would have had so much more to teach and share with his children. (He and my mother were killed in a car crash when a drunk driver hit us, they died instantly, I survived. And I have their legacy of love and more.)
Like in the movie “Yentl,” the song “Papa, Can You Hear Me?” captures the longing memory for his guidance after Yentl’s loss. Even after fathers leave this world, many children continue speaking to them in prayers, memories and asking for unanswered questions. “Daddy, can you hear me?” resonates because fathers often remain internal voices long after they are gone. In “Yentl,” fatherhood is not domination, it is recognition and her father gave his daughter permission to learn, to explore and be who she was destined to be. And for this, Yentl is greatly appreciative and grateful that he was her Daddy.
The most important fathers are not always the strongest men or the most famous names. They are the ones who leave behind courage, wisdom, compassion and memory. From Abraham to Martin Luther King Jr., from Moses to the father in “Yentl,” the legacy of fatherhood is ultimately the same: to help another human being walk through the world with greater faith, dignity and hope.
“Attentive fathers protect their children. Great fathers with vision widen the circle until humanity itself becomes family and the world is changed forever.”
Prayers of love and respect to all those who have loved and mentored us. Happy Father’s Day!
The post “Honor Thy Father!” appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Rabbi Address interviews elder care attorney Mirit Hoffman from Israel to explore the legal, cultural, and societal aspects of aging, estate planning, and elder care in Israel compared to the United States. They discuss the importance of proactive planning, legal documents, and cultural attitudes towards aging and family responsibilities.
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions. If you do not see a player directly below this paragraph, you can still watch the video by clicking on this link: LINK
Listen to the Audio PodcastYou can listen to the audio podcast version in the player below, or subscribe to the podcast in one of the popular platforms by clicking one of the buttons below the player. If you do not see a player below, you can still listen to the podcast by clicking on this link: LINK
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- Amazon Music About the GuestMirit HoffmanMirit Hoffman is an attorney with 25 years of experience. Her specialty is estate planning and elder law, including the complexities of interfamilial and intergenerational ties, as well as the preparation of enduring powers of attorney, wills, and trusts.
Mirit believes that people work very hard to accumulate their wealth and deserve to decide who benefits from their hard-earned assets, and how. She believes they have earned the right to self-determination and the ability to age with dignity. Various legal tools can help clients accomplish these goals, including an Enduring Power of Attorney and Advance Medical Directives.
Mirit is trained and experienced in U.S. and Israeli tax law, allowing her to view complex estate matters involving dual citizenship in their entirety. This includes U.S. gift planning, alternative tax-efficient investment vehicles, and the creation of international trusts, while considering each client’s particular and complex needs.
Mirit is a member of the Global Society of Trust and Estate Practitioners (STEP) and lectures regularly on the importance of estate planning and enduring powers of attorney. She writes a column on the relationship between children and their adult parents on various Hebrew news sites, as well as a blog in The Times of Israel. She strongly believes in the wisdom of elders and their contribution to the community, and on her Facebook Business Page she offers a variety of complementary value-added videos featuring professionals who work with and empower senior citizens.
On a personal note, Mirit is a mother of three and is addicted to dark chocolate and running.
Mirit tries to live her life by implementing her favorite quote: “The Secret to Living is Giving” (Tony Robbins).
The post Understanding Aging and Estate Planning in Israel with Elder Law Attorney Mirit Hoffman – Seekers of Meaning 6/12/2026 appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Iris Waichler discusses her book, Role Reversal: How to Take Care of Yourself and Your Aging Parents, and delves into the complexities of caregiving, including planning, emotional challenges, and the impact of technology. The conversation offers practical advice for caregivers and insights into the societal and financial aspects of elder care.
About the BookDesigned to help caregivers understand how to cope with and overcome the overwhelming challenges that arise while caregiving for a loved one—especially an aging parent—Role Reversal is a comprehensive guide to navigating the enormous daily challenges faced by caregivers. In these pages, Waichler blends her personal experience caring for her beloved father with her forty years of expertise as a patient advocate and clinical social worker. The result is a book offering invaluable information on topics ranging from estate planning to grief and anger to building a support network and finding the right level of care for your elderly parent.
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions. If you do not see a player directly below this paragraph, you can still watch the video by clicking on this link: LINK
Listen to the Audio PodcastYou can listen to the audio podcast version in the player below, or subscribe to the podcast in one of the popular platforms by clicking one of the buttons below the player. If you do not see a player below, you can still listen to the podcast by clicking on this link: LINK
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She continued to work on a rehabilitation unit in a large Chicago teaching hospital with patients who had suffered traumatic brain injuries, strokes, cancer, amputations, burns, and neurological diseases like multiple sclerosis and parkinson’s disease. Ms. Waichler also covered the emergency room for 13 years seeing patients of all ages with a variety of medical problems. In addition she worked with kids who had been victims of child abuse.
Her long term hospital work gave her insights into how overwhelming it was for patients and families who suddenly found themselves in a hospital setting feeling helpless and alone. This prompted her to write her first book, Patient Power: How to Have a Say in Your Hospital Stay. She understood that if people knew what questions to ask and where to go for support, it would help empower them and assist them in coping with their medical conditions and the resulting life changes.
She used these insights to supervise social work students, and teach medical students, interns, residents, and nurses about patient rights, ethics, and to help them become more empathetic and effective in their day to day patient and family care.
Ms. Waichler found herself in the role of a patient when she battled infertility for many years. The feelings of loss and helplessness she personally experienced were profound. She promised herself if she was successful in having a child she would do everything she could to help other people fighting infertility.
She authored a second award winning book, Riding the Infertility Roller Coaster: A Guide to Educate and Inspire. This book won 2 best book of the year awards and 2 additional book awards. The response was so great she began doing individual and group counseling with people who had infertility. She volunteered for RESOLVE, a national infertility group, and went on to do a series of radio interviews, magazine articles, workshops, and speeches designed to inform and support men and women with infertility.
In writing her new book, Role Reversal: How to Take Care of Yourself and Your Aging, Ms. Waichler has come full circle. Her experience in caring for her beloved father, who died at age 97, triggered her passion in reaching out to others who suddenly find themselves in a caregiver role and are uncertain about what to do or where to go for help. In this book she shares her father’s inspiring story and her personal and professional experience in assuming the challenges that come with being a caregiver for an aging loved one. Role Reversal won 8 major book awards
Iris has been doing freelance writing for the last 20 years. The focus of her work has been on health related topics and assisting her readers gain knowledge that helps them feel less alone and empowers them in significant new ways.
Ms. Waichler lives in Chicago with her husband, Steve, her daughter, Grace, and mini Golden Doodle, Brandi.. She loves to travel whenever she can and to spend time with friends and family.
The post Understanding Elder Care Challenges: Exclusive Interview with Author Iris Waichler – Seekers of Meaning 6/5/2026 appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
Editor’s note: This is a true story. The names of the Russian family have been changed at their request to respect privacy.
Sometime in the winter of 1989, I found myself at Logan Airport in Boston greeting a family that Betsy and I and two friends, Sherry Grossman and Alan Spivak, had sponsored from the USSR. Natasha and Boris, Boris’s father Moise, and their fifteen-year-old son Vladimir arrived in their new home quite obviously shell shocked. They brought with them the requisite allowable number of suitcases, packed nearly to overflowing, prepared to set up shop on Boston’s North Shore where we had arranged an apartment for them.
It’s been my experience that in most cases Russian Jewish refugees and their sponsors eventually lose touch after the family has settled in and found its equilibrium. That’s natural, I think. Their commonalities may be few and helping a family escape the hell of the USSR was always the main job.
I’m delighted to say that in this case that is not so. Betsy and I have maintained a close relationship with Vladimir and Natasha now for over thirty-seven years. Vladimir’s father, for personal reasons, went his own way, and that was unfortunate. But Russian marriages sometimes end just like American marriages. Vladimir continued to keep in touch with his father, though the relationship was always troubled.
So we watched Vladimir grow up. When he was ready to enter high school, we invited him to live with us in Brookline so he could attend Brookline High, but he got a better offer. He’d been regularly visiting an elderly, infirm woman whose son, a physician, out of great appreciation, offered to pay Vladimir’s tuition to a prestigious private school.
He graduated high school and received a full scholarship to Brandeis University. Vladimir then went to law school, first at Washington University in St. Louis, then finishing at the University of Pennsylvania. Along the way he married a woman also from the USSR, but the marriage fell apart when they were in St. Louis.
There were times during these years when Vladimir needed an older friend, especially when his marriage failed and again when his father died tragically. During those times he and I grew especially close.
He graduated law school, met Zoya, and they married. I had the honor of performing their wedding in New York City.
They moved to Connecticut. He started his own law firm, focusing on one particular issue, which made the family quite economically comfortable indeed.
Along the way, Betsy and I attended the bris for both of their sons, Yuri and Mihhail, and later those sons’ bar mitzvahs.
My wife Betsy and I attended Mihhail’s bar mitzvah on May 16th. Yuri was there, of course. I hadn’t seen him since his own bar mitzvah. He had just finished his first year at Boston University, had grown tall, and completed the year full of confidence, preparing for an internship this summer at a company in Tel Aviv. Mihhail evinced the same self-confidence on the bimah that Shabbat morning, confidence that, I am quite certain, will be reflected in his life as he grows up.
I am enormously proud of this continuing relationship with Vladimir and his family. Betsy and I have had the privilege of both helping and participating in the life of a boy and his mother, and watching the boy become a man, a very successful and very Jewish man. A man committed to his family, to the Jewish community, and to his adoptive country. A man who left an oppressive society and flourished in the United States.
I have learned a great deal from Vladimir, but I’ll share just one thing. He taught me a very important lesson. At the end of his son’s bar mitzvah service, when he addressed his son in front of the congregation, Vladimir forcefully expressed his gratitude to the United States for all that it had done for him and his family. I have heard this sense of gratitude before from other immigrants, but never so powerfully. He came from a terrible place with little prospect moved to a country that gave him great opportunities. He flourished here in a way that would have been impossible in Leningrad, as it has been for immigrants for centuries.
Those of us born in America occasionally fail to recognize the nature of the extraordinary place we call home. We more than occasionally take America for granted. I know I have. It takes the experience of an outsider who became a consummate insider to remind us of the greatness of our native land.
I will add, and this is hardly incidental, that I am enormously impressed by and proud of the depth of Vladimir’s Jewishness. This, too, is a gift of America, a place where a fifteen year old from the USSR can explore and grow in his Jewishness, a gift he, and I must add his wife Zoya, have quite successfully transmitted to their two sons.
Betsy and I are proud of this relationship. Vladimir, Zoya, Natasha, and their family are family to us and will always remain so.
The post From Leningrad to the Bimah appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Randi Freeman, regional coordinator for Hadassah, This interview explores the impactful work of Hadassah in Israel and the United States, highlighting its history, medical achievements, and ongoing advocacy efforts, especially in the context of recent conflicts and societal challenges.
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions. If you do not see a player directly below this paragraph, you can still watch the video by clicking on this link: LINK
Listen to the Audio PodcastYou can listen to the audio podcast version in the player below, or subscribe to the podcast in one of the popular platforms by clicking one of the buttons below the player. If you do not see a player below, you can still listen to the podcast by clicking on this link: LINK
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- Amazon Music About the GuestRandi Freeman, MSN, RNAfter spending twenty-five years in retail management, Randi decided to make a major career change and go into nursing. Randi earned a BSN from Penn State University. After spending her first five years in the ED, she then moved into management in various capacities. It was during this time, that Randi went back to school to receive her MSN in leadership from Wilmington University. Since obtaining this degree, she has moved into nursing administration. Randi was the Nurse Manager for the Geriatric Behavioral Health unit at Redeemer health, and is currently a Nurse Manager for Fairmount Behavioral Health.
Randi has been a member of Hadassah for the past 18 years, is a life member and a keeper of the gate. Hadassah is the largest women’s Zionist organization in America and raises money for two Hadassah hospitals in Israel as well as for youth at risk. Randi was Region President for the Greater Philadelphia area from 2020-2023 and is currently the Region Leader. She has 11,000 women under her guidance throughout Philadelphia and into Wilmington Delaware.
Randi is also a classical cellist, having earned her first Bachelor’s degree for Music Performance many years ago from the University of the Arts. Randi is a member of two community orchestras and free lances whenever time permits. In her free time, Randi and her spouse enjoy traveling here and abroad and stop to antique where ever they visit. Their home inside and out reflects their many collections and interests.
The post Impact of Hadassah’s Work in Israel and the U.S. with Randi Freeman, Philadelphia Region Leader – Seekers of Meaning 5/29/2026 appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
Memory and nostalgia are such forces in Jewish culture that they can be spiritual experiences in and of themselves. Growing up in an unaffiliated and largely secular household, I felt a strong gravitation towards my Jewish heritage in large part due to the presence of Jewish cultural and historical memory in my life. From hours of conversation with my grandfather about our family and his life growing up, to my Jewish sixth-grade teacher with whom I first explored the history of the Holocaust, the echoes of the Old World have never quite faded away for me. Music has also been an important part of my life, and through it I solidified a connection to Judaism that persists to this day.
In 1995, PBS aired a documentary episode of Great Performances entitled “Itzhak Perlman: In the Fiddler’s House.” I vividly remember watching it and being captivated by the soaring klezmer music, and I have been hooked ever since. At the time, my brother had purchased the cassette tape of the album, and we listened to it nonstop for years. In fact, at times, the music became my primary bridge to Jewish culture, and there is no doubt that I would not feel so strongly about my Jewish identity today without having experienced it.
I feel considerable gratitude towards Maestro Perlman for that gift, and what’s amazing to me is that although his klezmer music speaks to me in such deep and profound ways, I have no idea if my ancestors sang, danced to, or even enjoyed this music. The interesting thing about memory is how much imagination goes into it. There is sometimes an overemphasis on memory as history, as opposed to wisdom. It is enough that klezmer makes me not only feel Jewish but also connected to the generations of Jews who came before. It serves as an indelible link to a time and place that I can never physically touch. Perlman’s klezmer playing can mean Moses, Maimonides, and the Yiddishkeit of my great-grandparents, whether those connections are factual or not.
I first saw Perlman play about a decade ago at a classical concert at Hill Auditorium in Ann Arbor, when we were living in Michigan. After the show, I happened to stumble upon him late in the evening, alone at the Zingerman’s deli counter ordering a beef tongue sandwich. I shook his hand and briefly thanked him but was too awestruck to formulate the words of gratitude that I truly wanted to say, or even to take a picture. But last weekend, my wife and I went to the Kimmel Center to see him perform on his tour, In the Fiddler’s House. We sat in the front row, right in front of Perlman, and had the privilege of absorbing the beauty of the moment firsthand. Waves of memory and emotion flooded over me hearing songs from that fateful cassette album of thirty years ago, a truly spiritual experience as the audience was invited to dance and clap along.
Suddenly I was one with the past, deeply connected to images and thoughts of my ancestors, the people around me and the musicians on stage. Perlman’s performance was magical, and he played with a twinkle in his eye. The other musicians were, of course, incredible.
This was a moment to bathe in memory in its various incarnations and meanings, a moment of absolute joy and kismet that linked me to warm memories of my childhood, as well as to my historical and imagined past. I owe so much of who I am, including my connection to Judaism, to Itzhak Perlman.
Perhaps if Maestro Perlman is an avid fan of Jewish Sacred Aging, he will read this; but if not, I’m glad that others will. This is my expression of gratitude for what his music gave me, a sense of identity and rootedness through time. Thank you from the bottom of my heart, Itzhak Perlman, for that priceless gift. And thank you for always remembering, so that others too can share in the collective richness of the memory and warmth of the Jewish people.
The post Memory in Music appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
Just a reminder of this month’s Both Sides Now webinar for older adults.
Our FREE webinars are facilitated by myself and Rabbi Mark Levin.
These are non-structured discussions inviting conversation about issues we are facing, from family to medical and more.
Feel free to join our next webinar on Monday, June 22, 2026 from 4 p.m.-5.30 p.m. US Eastern Time/3 p.m. – 4:30 p.m. Central Time.
To register please email markhowardlevin@gmail.com and put “We’re Aging” in the subject line so we can send you the zoom info.
Thanks
Rabbi Richard F Address
The post Both Sides Now Webinar for June appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
Dealing with a tragedy such as a critical illness, a major operation or situations that seem unsolvable is never easy. When faced alone, these issues may become overwhelming and lead to depression or a feeling of hopelessness.
There are professional caregivers who will take care of physical needs such as eating, bathing and taking medications. However, there is a big difference between caring for someone’s physical needs and caring about someone’s emotional needs.
When my father received a diagnosis of Alzheimer’s disease, I knew it was not curable. During its early stages, I took him to lunch once a week and asked him how my mom was doing and other personal questions, to keep his mind sharp, which I learned may help slow the progression of the disease.
The disease continued to worsen. Finally, my brother and I came to the sad conclusion it was time to make a difficult decision and have him institutionalized because we could no longer attend to his physical needs.
He was placed in a nursing home with an Alzheimer’s wing where he would be physically comfortable. Because I knew this would be of no emotional help, I visited the nursing home once a week to be with him, even after he reached the point where he no longer recognized me. I never saw this as a duty but an example of how much I cared about him.
Caring about someone is talking to them, reminding them of the good times and showing empathy for their situation with the knowledge that the conversation would not be repeated to anyone.
I have had three major surgeries in my life, two of them keeping me housebound for up to three months. During those terrible times, my wife Ruth stepped up to the plate and delivered home runs.
She genuinely showed her care by sitting with me and talking to me to ease my pain which made me feel better. I often told myself I would never have been able to survive alone.
From these situations, I realized the importance of human contact. I knew it would not help my physical pain, but hearing her voice and talking about my emotions always calmed me considerably.
So do not be afraid to call someone who is suffering, because the contact is vital.
It is a mitzvah.
The post The importance of caring appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, we present an encore of the May 24, 2026 episode. In this program, clinical psychologist Dr. Daniel Watter discusses the evolving perceptions of sexuality in older adults, particularly in the context of the baby boomer generation.
He emphasizes the natural changes that occur with aging, the societal pressures surrounding youth, and the importance of intimacy beyond traditional sexual norms.
The discussion also touches on the impact of medical technology on sexual health, the differences in male and female experiences, and the cultural attitudes that often stigmatize aging. Ultimately, the conversation advocates for a more open dialogue about sexuality and aging, recognizing the existential aspects of these topics.
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions. If you do not see a player directly below this paragraph, you can still watch the video by clicking on this link: LINK
Listen to the Audio PodcastYou can listen to the audio podcast version in the player below, or subscribe to the podcast in one of the popular platforms by clicking one of the buttons below the player. If you do not see a player below, you can still listen to the podcast by clicking on this link: LINK
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- Amazon Music About the GuestDaniel Watter, Ed.D.Dr. Daniel N. Watter received his doctoral degree from New York University in 1985 and has also earned a post-graduate certificate in Medical Humanities from Drew University. He is licensed as both a psychologist and a marital and family therapist. In addition, he is Board Certified in Sex Therapy by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT), and the American Board of Sexology (ACS), of which is also holds Fellowship status. Dr. Watter is an AASECT certified sex therapy supervisor and has been elected to Fellowship Status in the International Society for the Study of Women’s Sexual Health (ISSWSH).
In addition to his clinical practice, Dr. Watter has held several faculty appointments. Currently, he is a faculty member at the University of Michigan School of Social Work’s Sexual Certification Program and the Modern Sex Therapy Institutes. He has served as an adjunct professor of Psychology at Fairleigh Dickinson, Drew, and Seton Hall Universities, a clinical instructor of OB/GYN and Women’s Health at University of Medicine and Dentistry of New Jersey-New Jersey Medical School, and a clinical assistant professor of psychiatry and behavioral medicine at the New York College of Osteopathic Medicine. Dr. Watter is also a former member of the medical staff of the Saint Barnabas Medical Center in Livingston, New Jersey, and served on the Medical Center’s Ethics Committee.
Dr. Watter is a member of several professional organizations and has been elected to leadership positions in many. He has completed two terms on the New Jersey Psychological Association’s Ethics Committee where he spent two years as the Committee’s chairperson. He has also served two terms as the Secretary/Treasurer of the Society for Sex Therapy and Research (SSTAR), where he previously served as Membership Officer. Dr. Watter is also the former chair of the Diplomate Certification Committee for the American Association for Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT). From 2019-2021 he was the Chair of the AASECT Ethics Advisory Committee. Currently, he is a Past-President of SSTAR. In 2009, Dr. Watter was appointed by New Jersey Governor Jon Corzine to the State Board of Psychological Examiners. He was reappointed by New Jersey Governor Chris Christie in 2017.
A frequent lecturer at professional meetings throughout North America, Dr. Watter is the author of more than 30 professional articles and book chapters on topics such as sexual function and dysfunction, and ethics in healthcare practice. He is currently completing a textbook on Humanistic/Existential Approaches to Sex Therapy Practice
Click here to read Dr. Watter’s blog: morrispsych.com/category/dr-watters-blog/
The post ENCORE: Understanding sexuality in older adults, with psychologist Daniel Watter – Seekers of Meaning 5/22/2026 appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
The Book of Ruth is one of the most beloved texts in the Hebrew Bible. Read annually on the festival of Shavuot, it is often seen as an idealized love story set amid the barley harvests of ancient Israel. Beyond any notion of a historical document, within this tale lies a profound spiritual drama about loss, resilience, transformation, and destiny. When we look at Megilat Ruth through a mythic lens, the story of Ruth and Naomi becomes more than an ancient narrative; it becomes a mirror reflecting the human soul’s journey through trauma toward healing and renewal.
In times of uncertainty, grief, and cultural anxiety, the Book of Ruth speaks with renewed urgency. It offers wisdom for those who have experienced displacement, bereavement, disappointment, and spiritual hunger. Ruth and Naomi emerge not merely as biblical figures but as archetypes of trauma survivors who forge for themselves, through courage and faithfulness, a path toward redemption, and ultimately, world transformation.
Ruth and the Festival of ShavuotJewish tradition has linked the reading of Ruth with Shavuot for nearly two thousand years. The connection operates on several levels. First, the story unfolds during the barley harvest, echoing the agricultural origins of Shavuot as the festival of first fruits. Ruth gleans in the fields behind the harvesters, embodying the rhythms of ancient agrarian life and the ethics of caring for the vulnerable (Ruth 2:2–7).
Second, Shavuot commemorates the giving of Torah at Mount Sinai. Ruth’s declaration to Naomi—“Your people shall be my people, and your God my God” (Ruth 1:16)—has long been understood as paralleling Israel’s acceptance of the covenant at Sinai. Ruth becomes the model of spiritual commitment, willingly embracing a new identity and destiny.
Finally, rabbinic tradition teaches that King David died on Shavuot, and the Book of Ruth concludes with the genealogy leading to David’s birth (Ruth 4:17–22). Thus, Ruth’s personal story becomes linked to the destiny of the Jewish people and the hope for messianic redemption. What begins as the story of a grieving widow ultimately points toward the possibility of collective renewal.¹
The Mythic LensA mythic approach to Torah does not ask whether a story is historically factual; rather, it seeks the deeper patterns embedded within the narrative—the archetypal truths that illuminate human experience across generations. Myths endure because they speak to recurring dimensions of the soul: exile and return, loss and recovery, suffering and transformation, despair and hope.
When we read Ruth as a mythic journey of consciousness, we discover a paradigm of spiritual development. The text becomes a map for navigating the crises and transitions of our own lives, and certainly the challenges of aging. In an age marked by social fragmentation, ecological anxiety, and spiritual disconnection, Ruth invites us to examine our own hunger, our wounds, and our calling.
The story begins with a famine in Bethlehem—Beit Lechem, literally “House of Bread” (Ruth 1:1). Symbolically, the place of nourishment has become barren. This famine represents more than economic hardship; it reflects a condition of the soul. The prophet Amos speaks of a different kind of famine: “not a famine for bread, nor a thirst for water, but to hear the words of God” (Amos 8:11). Ruth opens within precisely such a spiritual landscape.
To extrapolate from this text to our times, contemporary society, despite its material abundance, often suffers from profound spiritual hunger. Consumer culture promises fulfillment through possessions, status, and achievement, yet many experience restlessness, emptiness, and longing for meaning. We are living in a time of great spiritual poverty, the pathways forward for individuals, for our country, and our global community are not clear at all. Our souls are starved for a vision.
And yet, the hunger of the soul is not a pathology; it is evidence that the soul is alive and seeking nourishment. Ruth begins in famine because transformation often begins in longing.
Trauma and LossThe narrative text of Ruth quickly descends into a tale of tragedy and grief. Elimelech dies. Soon afterward, Naomi’s two sons, Mahlon and Kilion, also die, leaving Naomi and her daughters-in-law, Ruth and Orpah, widowed, bereaved, and vulnerable (Ruth 1:3–5). Once socially secure, these women are suddenly stripped of protection, status, and certainty. Certainly this is a familiar predicament for many today.
The story confronts a truth central to human existence: life does not unfold according to our expectations. Dreams collapse. Bodies fail. Relationships end. We grow old and people die. Trauma enters every life in one form or another. In this sense, Naomi, Ruth, and Orpah are universal figures.
Naomi’s grief is raw and unvarnished. Returning to Bethlehem, she cries out: “Don’t call me Naomi any longer! Call me Mara, because God has made my life bitter.” (Ruth 1:20). Naomi does not bypass her sorrow with pious platitudes. She accepts and names her suffering directly.
This is one of the profound psychological insights of the text. Healing does not come through denial. Often we cannot move forward until we encounter our grief honestly. Naomi’s willingness to experience her woundedness becomes part of her eventual transformation. By acknowledging her emptiness, she creates the possibility for compassion, resilience, and renewal.
The Book of Ruth therefore teaches that spiritual growth does not occur apart from suffering, but through it. Trauma may wound the soul, but it can also deepen it.
The Choices We FaceAt the center of the narrative lies a moment of decision. Naomi urges her daughters-in-law to return to Moab and rebuild their lives (Ruth 1:8–13). Orpah eventually turns back, while Ruth remains.
Ruth’s response is among the most powerful declarations in biblical literature:
“Where you go, I will go. Where you stay, I will stay. Your people shall be my people, and your God my God” (Ruth 1:16).
Mythically understood, Orpah and Ruth represent two possibilities within every human being. Orpah symbolizes the impulse to retreat from uncertainty, to return to the familiar and abandon the journey when faced with hardship. Ruth symbolizes perseverance, courage, and fidelity to a deeper calling.
Ruth’s decision parallels Abraham’s response to the divine command of Lekh Lekha — “Go forth from your land” (Genesis 12:1). Like Abraham, Ruth leaves behind familiarity and security in order to follow an unknown destiny.
The spiritual journey repeatedly confronts us with similar choices. Will we allow bitterness, fear, and disappointment to define us? Or will we continue forward despite pain, death, loss, and uncertainty? Ruth demonstrates that commitment is not naïve optimism; it is the courageous decision to remain open to life even after profound tragedy.
Allies on the JourneyAs Ruth enters Bethlehem and gleans in the fields, she encounters Boaz, a relative of Naomi’s late husband (Ruth 2:1–3). Boaz becomes protector, benefactor, and eventual redeemer. His kindness appears almost providential.
Here the story reveals another mythic principle: once the journey begins, allies appear. Joseph Campbell, in The Hero with a Thousand Faces, observed that guides and helpers emerge when the hero commits to the path. Biblical narratives echo this pattern repeatedly—Moses has Miriam and Aaron, Abraham encounters mysterious messengers, and Ruth finds Boaz. And on her journey back to Oz, Dorothy meets that quirky triumvirate of the Scarecrow, the Tin Woodman and the Cowardly Lion.
The appearance of allies reminds us that we do not travel alone. Teachers, friends, mentors, loved ones, and even unexpected strangers, and angelic presences may appear precisely when needed. Sometimes these allies are visible; sometimes they emerge through intuition, synchronicity, or unseen grace.
Notably, the Book of Ruth contains no overt miracles. God rarely appears directly. Yet divine providence quietly permeates the narrative. Ruth “happens” to glean in Boaz’s field (Ruth 2:3). Boaz “happens” to notice her. Beneath ordinary events runs a hidden current of guidance.
Ruth’s life moves from famine toward sustenance because she does not remain immobilized by trauma. She steps into the unknown and discovers that life responds.
Following DestinyNaomi eventually guides Ruth toward a deeper union with Boaz (Ruth 3:1–6). On one level, Naomi seeks practical security for her daughter-in-law in a patriarchal society. On another level, Naomi functions mythically as a spiritual guide helping Ruth move toward her destiny.
Ruth’s obedience to Naomi echoes Israel’s response at Sinai: “All that the Lord has spoken, we will do” (Exodus 19:8). Again the story links personal transformation with covenantal commitment.
The union of Ruth and Boaz symbolizes the meeting between the soul and its calling. Out of suffering and uncertainty emerges new life. Ruth’s journey demonstrates that fidelity to one’s path gradually reveals hidden purpose.
Importantly, Naomi herself also transforms. Though crushed by grief, she does not allow her bitterness to consume her capacity for love and guidance. Woundedness does not prevent her from becoming an ally in another person’s unfolding destiny.
A Call to World TransformationThe Book of Ruth concludes with birth and genealogy. Ruth gives birth to Obed, grandfather of King David (Ruth 4:13–22). The traumatized widow from Moab becomes an ancestor of Israel’s greatest king and, according to tradition, a foremother of the Messiah.
This ending radically reframes the narrative. Ruth’s story is not only about personal healing; it is about participation in collective redemption. The text suggests that even those marked by loss and displacement can become agents of transformation for the wider world.
This message carries immense relevance today. In an age confronting ecological crisis, violence, loneliness, and spiritual fragmentation, the Book of Ruth challenges us not to surrender to despair. Trauma does not negate destiny. Brokenness does not disqualify us from meaningful contribution.
Like Ruth, we are continually called beyond the confines of the old self toward new creativity and service. The mythic dimension of the story asks each of us: What new life is seeking to be born through us? What deeper calling awaits beneath our grief, uncertainty, and fear?
The Book of Ruth ultimately teaches that transcendence does not mean escaping suffering. Rather, it means allowing suffering to become part of a larger journey toward compassion, wisdom, and renewal. Through hunger, loss, commitment, and trust, Ruth becomes a vessel for redemption.
Her story remains our story.
The post Transcending Trauma: Mythic Dimensions of the Book of Ruth appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Rabbi Sean Zevit discusses the vital connection between money, values, and faith in community, emphasizing how financial decisions reflect spiritual principles and community well-being. Drawing from the new edition of his book, Offerings of the Heart: Money, Values, and Faith in Community, he explores practical approaches to aligning resources with Jewish values, fostering transparency, and nurturing a sacred community.
Offerings of the Heart. This phrase sets the tone for the Jewish spiritual perspective that money is a tool for actualizing God’s presence in the world. Building on this core value and setting aside the financial/spiritual split with which many congregational leaders operate, Rabbi Shawn Zevit brings the depth and breadth of Jewish teachings on money and the spiritual life to all faith communities. This book provides texts and tools to help clergy, staff, and lay leaders of congregations of any faith approach financial and other resources as core means to build and maintain whole and holy lives in a communal setting. Zevit demonstrates how faith communities can create values-based approaches to developing and managing financial and human resources that are rooted in the very sacred traditions, principles, and impulses that bring us together.
Fully revised and updated, this 20th anniversary edition of a classic incorporates the insights and practices of a wide range of Orthodox, Conservative, and Reform congregations in addition to Reconstructionist congregations. It also addresses the growing “free will dues” practice.
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions. If you do not see a player directly below this paragraph, you can still watch the video by clicking on this link: https://vimeo.com/1192378110?share=copy&fl=sv&fe=ci
Listen to the Audio PodcastYou can listen to the audio podcast version in the player below, or subscribe to the podcast in one of the popular platforms by clicking one of the buttons below the player. If you do not see a player below, you can still listen to the podcast by clicking on this link: https://media.blubrry.com/seekersofmeaning/ins.blubrry.com/seekersofmeaning/SOM20260515.mp3
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- Amazon Music About the GuestRabbi Shawn ZevitRABBI SHAWN ISRAEL ZEVIT is the lead rabbi at Congregation Mishkan Shalom, in Philadelphia, PA, committed to the integration of meaningful spiritual living, life-long learning and acts of caring and social justice. Rabbi Zevit has worked for over thirty years consulting to and supporting dozens of congregations, organizations, social justice and sustainability initiatives in the Jewish and larger world.
He is co-director with Rabbi Marcia Prager of the award-winning Davennen Leader’s Training Institute and is a spiritual director and Associate Director for the ALEPH Hashpa’ah (Spiritual Direction) program, working at the nexus of spiritual development and healing on a personal, interpersonal and communal level.
He is also a recording and performing artist with six CDs of original and traditional music and a founding member of the original “Shabbat Unplugged” musical group. An organizer for over twenty years of men’s programming and retreats, he is co-editor with Harry Brod of Brother Keepers: New Perspectives in Jewish Masculinity as well as “Offerings of the Heart: Money and Values in Faith Community” and numerous publications for congregational and organizational life.
Rabbi Shawn Israel Zevit serves as a consultant for numerous organizations in the areas of leadership, community building, money and values, creativity, and spirituality in the workplace. He has consulted with and presented to hundreds of institutions and faith communities across North America, and has taught Interpersonal and Organizational Communications at the University of Toronto and Temple University.
Rabbi Zevit is a graduate of the Reconstructionist Rabbinical College and also has smicha/ordination from Rabbi Zalman Schachter-Shalomi z”l and ALEPH.
You can reach Rabbi Zevit at szevit@comcast.net.
The post Money, Values, and Faith: Insights from Rabbi Shawn Zevit – Seekers of Meaning 5/15/2026 appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
-I know an old lady who took a walk around a colorful garden path
-Wanting to review her life’s journeys in math.
-You see, she just realized her numbers in years
-Didn’t compute with her vision of herself and now that created fears.
-“How could I be this old?” she asked a passing purple butterfly
-“My, oh my, have I lived in a lie?”
–“Have I not watched the years go by?–Have I not asked myself what have I done? What have I been? Am I soon to die?”
-As she watched a chubby squirrel scamper up a hot-pink Crape Myrtle tree
-She worried, “Did I forget to be me?”
-With her aching hip, she leaned down to smell a beautiful bright red rose
-And wondered if she let life not strike her own pose.
-The plush green path curved to the left, then curved to the right
-While she tried to remember her life’s important decisions with all her might.
-“Why, oh why did I think my choices were best for me? -Or was it just easy to let things be?”
-Around the bend, she was struck by the beauty of a glittering pond
-With fish and Lily pads the colors of a painter’s pallet that gave her pause to bond.
-“My, oh my, why am I startled by one of G-D’s majestic beauties?
-Or is it a reflection I see that has suddenly made me so moody?”
-She starred upon the image to contemplate the familiarity of a young girl looking back at her while wondering who could that be
-When she suddenly gasped, “My, oh my! That’s me!”
-As she looked up into the cloud-filled sky, in wide-screen and technicolor, her childhood flashed before her with memories of fun
-Collecting butterflies with dad, watching her brother chase after squirrels, and picking bright colored flowers with mom under the warm sun!
-Tending to husband and kids, returning to college, teaching art to children, all seemed the right thing to do at the time
-“But now I wonder if those paths were truly mine.”
-“Or were they expectations I had to fulfill
-Silently, against my true will?”
-A park bench was inviting her to sit
-As she reviewed her life, bit by bit.
–“I wanted to be a dancer, or was it an artist, no, it was an actor
–To express my abundance of creativity that was such a big factor.”
–“My, oh my, was I too cowardly to try, afraid of what others might say
–And fearful of personal failure every day?”
-She was suddenly startled by a downpour of rain, with booming thunder and lightning striking the sky
-She let herself be soaked, washing the past memories in an unexpected ah-ah moment of *“bye-bye!”*
-As the clouds parted and sunshine peaked through, a magnificent artist’s rainbow hugged her tight
-And she exclaimed out loud with all her might, “My, oh my, I did everything right!”
-In her head she heard the familiar refrain, “To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the sun”…As the saying goes!
-“AND NOW I KNOW!”
-“I planted, I reaped
-I wept, I laughed
-I mourned and I danced
-I was loved, and I had peace!”
-“AND IT ALL TURNED OUT BETTER THAN FINE!
MY, OH MY! I HAD SUCH A GOOD TIME!”
Happy Mother’s Day to all the women who gave so much of themselves to others to bring love and joy to the world …Be good to yourself…Sandy
The post “My, Oh My!” said The Old Lady appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Dr. David Bernstein, author of When It’s Time to Move: Assessing the Why, Exploring the How, explores the critical aspects of planning for a move later in life, including emotional, physical, financial, and medical considerations.
Dr. Bernstein shares personal experiences and practical advice on how to assess when it’s time to move and how to make the transition smoothly.
In a world that often encourages us to accumulate more, the idea of downsizing can feel like a daunting and emotional task. Whether driven by a desire for a simpler life, a financial shift, or a new beginning, the process of letting go of a lifetime of memories can be overwhelming. This is where this book comes in—not just as a guide to moving, but as a roadmap for personal transformation. It provides a comprehensive, compassionate blueprint for anyone facing the daunting task of decluttering and relocating.
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions. If you do not see a player directly below this paragraph, you can still watch the video by clicking on this link: https://vimeo.com/1190122744?fl=pl&fe=sh
Listen to the Audio PodcastYou can listen to the audio podcast version in the player below, or subscribe to the podcast in one of the popular platforms by clicking one of the buttons below the player. If you do not see a player below, you can still listen to the podcast by clicking on this link: https://media.blubrry.com/seekersofmeaning/ins.blubrry.com/seekersofmeaning/SOM20260508.mp3
- Apple Podcasts
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- Amazon Music About the GuestDr. David BernsteinDavid Bernstein, M.D. is a highly respected physician who is board certified in both Internal Medicine and Geriatrics. His 40 years of experience have provided him with opportunities to observe, empathize and guide thousands of adults and generations of families as they mature.
His compassion and ability to see the souls of his patients have compelled him to share his stories in his book: I’ve Got Some Good News and Some Bad News You’re OLD: Tales of a Geriatrician What to Expect in Your 60’s, 70’s, 80’s and Beyond.
Because of Dr. Bernstein’s keen interest in the safety of his patients, he was prompted to write Senior Driving Dilemmas, Lifesaving Strategies as a guide for seniors and their families to consider and assess the feasibility of a senior adult continuing to drive.
Dr. Bernstein’s observation and extensive research prompted him to write his book, The Power of 5: The Ultimate Formula For Longevity & Remaining Youthful which explores a formula to diminish the kinds of diseases many of today’s adults face. Divided into five categories – Sweets, Sweat, Stress, Sleep, and Sex – the Power of 5 details the ways individuals can take control of their own lasting youthfulness and vigor. Dr. Bernstein collaborated with his wife Melissa and published The Power of 5 Journal – a companion to document progress while following the Power of 5 formula.
His next book, Geriatrics Handbook, was co-authored with Venkit Iyer, MD. It covers a wide range of topics, including common medical problems in older adults, preventive care, and end-of-life issues.
Dr. Bernstein’s NEWEST BOOK, When It’s Time to Move: Assessing the Why, Exploring the How, is an ideal resource for when it’s time to move for whatever your reason. Because whether it’s a simpler life, a financial shift, or a new beginning, letting go of a lifetime of memories can be overwhelming. This guide to moving is a compassionate blueprint for anyone facing the daunting task of decluttering and relocating.
The post Navigating Life Changes: When It’s Time to Move, with Dr. David Bernstein – Seekers of Meaning 5/8/2026 appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
Rabbi’s note: This is a loving reflection and memorial tribute to Wendy Bocarsky from her husband Rabbi Shelton Donnell. He offers this to our community in a loving memorial.
There is a powerful metaphor in the Zohar (1:91b) about relationships that is often cited in wedding ceremonies. The mystical tradition teaches that souls are created as unified entities but when the time comes for the soul to descend from heaven and animate a human being, it splits in two and each half becomes a separate individual.
The metaphor continues that these two half-souls search for each other until, hopefully, they find their soul-mate and are united once again. As cliché as it may seem, that is how Wendy and I felt about our relationship — together we were one soul. Now, that is not to say that we were undifferentiated in our personalities or opinions. On the contrary, the yins and yangs of our characters were distinct but usually seemed to complement each other. So, when Wendy passed away on the second day of Chanukah, I felt as if I lost half of myself.
The void that her death created was painful both spiritually and physically. But even as she drew her last breath surrounded by those most precious to her, the pain was soothed by a profound sense of blessing. This past August we celebrated our 50th anniversary. That was a miraculous blessing. I say that because we never expected to share twenty years together let alone fifty. Wendy, so it seemed to us over the years, collected rare and fatal ailments like some people collect stamps.
In 1990, Wendy was an oncology nurse at Cedars-Sinai hospital in Los Angeles. During one arduous shift she suffered a back injury, ostensibly from lifting a very heavy patient when no one was available to assist her. The pain continued, so she sought relief from what we suspected was a pinched nerve. It was, but what turned out to be pinching the nerve was a tumor.
An exploratory surgery was performed.
The tumor wasn’t cancerous according to the surgeon but appeared to be caused by a very uncommon disease called LAM (Lymphangioleiomyomatosis — try saying that fast). At the time, there were some two-thousand LAM cases in America. All but one were women. We were told not to worry as long as the tumors did not appear in the lungs, and x-rays taken at the time did not reveal any LAM there. That was good news, because LAM (which usually manifests in the lungs) was almost always fatal.
A few years later, in 1995, Wendy went into liver failure of unknown origin. The prognosis was dire. She was the color of grapefruit and in severe pain. The top liver specialist at UCLA at first thought that a liver transplant was necessary but, after a few weeks in the hospital and a tube stuck down her nose, through her gullet and into her liver, she began to improve. She went home with that tube with the hope that she would continue to improve. She did, and we even were able to go to out for dinner on Mother’s Day with her parents. One look at my banana-colored wife with the tube, and the hostess whisked us to a lovely corner table strategically placed behind a screen of palms!
Wendy came through the liver attack but I asked the specialist if it might be related to her LAM disease. So, an MRI scan was done and, indeed, there was evidence of LAM in her lungs. In her lungs! This is what we feared most. It was not clear whether the LAM caused her liver problems but that didn’t matter, according to what we learned, LAM patients had a life-expectancy of about five years, perhaps a bit longer with a lung transplant.
After months of worry and research, Wendy found out about the LAM Foundation and was able to get into a LAM study at the National Institutes of Health. Being part of that study was a godsend. Wendy met other LAM patients who shared their stories, fears and hopes. And she received incredible care at the NIH with each visit entailing tens of thousands upon tens of thousands of dollars worth of tests, all free of charge — your tax dollars at work! In those early days the prognosis for LAM patients was expressed in percentages. Wendy was a 25%. That meant that there was a 25% chance that she would need a lung transplant. For me, that meant that there was a 75% chance that she wouldn’t. I’d take those odds to Vegas any time. As the years passed, Wendy’s condition remained stable (25%) and the prognosis for LAM patients steadily improved. She had out-lived the five years that we thought she had when first diagnosed.
The LAM diagnosis had a major impact on our perspective and our plans for the future. We always intended to make Aliyah upon my retirement. A sabbatical in 1999-2000 convinced us that was what we wanted to do. LAM just changed the timing.
I retired from the pulpit rabbinate in 2005, to fulfill our dream. Other than a chronic shortness of breath (her lung capacity was about 70%), Wendy was not held back by her LAM. It turned out that there were about twelve diagnosed cases of LAM in Israel, but the local “specialist” was in Tel Aviv and proved to be of no help to Wendy so we relied upon our excellent PCP, Barry Konishkowy in Jerusalem to monitor her. We had ten incredible years in Israel but, at the insistence of the physicians at the NIH and the concerns that Barry had that the Israeli healthcare system (as good as it was) could not provide adequate care for a LAM patient, we moved to Portland, Oregon where there was a LAM specialist and medical support system to treat Wendy adequately.
In Portland, Wendy collected her next fatal ailment. For years she was prone to respiratory infections — always a concern for LAM patients. Our new doctor in Portland listened to all of her history and suggested that the liver disease and perhaps the LAM, might be caused by something called CVID (Common Variable Immune Deficiency).
In other words, her body could not fight off attacks from outside and, in fact, might be attacking itself causing her liver issues. That diagnosis was confirmed and Wendy began a treatment of gamma globulin infusions.
That was a nightmare.
Wendy could not tolerate the IGG in any form or in any titration. The cure was worse than the disease! After a time, and with the right immunologist monitoring her, Wendy went off the IGG and began taking daily doses of antibiotics. According to her immunologist she was a ticking time-bomb just waiting for a virus or some infection to hit her with a vengeance. Yet, perhaps surprisingly, if you saw Wendy and watched her go about her daily comings and goings you would never know that she was ill at all. Since moving to Portland, we traveled (including annual visits “home” to Israel) and took cruises, she gardened and cooked and enjoyed a happy and productive life.
COVID came and we expected a death sentence. Thankfully (and because of scrupulous hand-washing and hygiene), neither of us was ever infected. But, as fate (or the COVID) would have it, she developed lymphoma and had to undergo a rigorous course of chemotherapy. She was fortunate to have excellent care provided by her oncologist (and now, dear friend) Christy Moore.
She survived the lymphoma and a follow-up CT and MRI showed her to be cancer free. Things were looking up. Then, months after her clear diagnostics, she developed a swelling on the right side of her face. It was thought to be cancer of the saliva glands but proved to be a different kind of lymphoma (remember what I said about collecting diseases?). A round of a different chemo regimen was cut short because Wendy had difficulty tolerating it. Fortunately, it appeared that the treatment was successful and she was again given the go-ahead to continue life as usual.
Finally, this year, shortly after a knee replacement surgery, she started to lose some cognitive ability — not so much that anyone would notice, but I did. When she lost control of her left hand, I asked her physical therapist to test for a possible stroke. He did and advised us to go to the emergency immediately. There, she was put through a series of tests and it was determined that what she was experiencing was not the result of a stroke.
The emergency room doctors were concerned that it was a new occurrence of lymphoma, perhaps in her brain. She was admitted to the oncology floor and, after a series of tests, spinal taps, and a week of waiting for results, she was diagnosed with something called PML (Progressive multifocal leukoencephalopathy) caused by the JC virus. This is an ubiquitous virus that occurs in 50% to 90% of the population, but doesn’t affect most people whose immune systems prevent the virus from attacking the body. Not so for Wendy. She had no immune system. The neurologist told us that PML was incurable and untreatable and was consuming her brain. Then came the devastating prognosis — she had most likely weeks and not months to live. That was in the beginning of November. She came home from the hospital and, after a few short weeks, entered hospice care. After a rapid decline she passed away on December 16.
Despite everything, Wendy was not a victim of her ailments. I truly believe that hers was a success story. Her life experiences, her nursing training and Jewish education and her abiding faith sustained her to the end.
In 1991, when she was first diagnosed with LAM, we had been married for 17 years. We didn’t think then that we would make 20. Last August we celebrated our 50th anniversary. Wendy never stopped being the JEWISH nurse that she always was. I say that because her Judaism truly informed who she was as a nurse and how she related to her patients. That is why, together with Rabbi Richard Address, she founded the Reform Jewish Nurses Network to enable others to experience the nexus between their Judaism and healing profession. Up to the end, she counseled and supported others who were facing health issues.
She helped establish caring communities in our congregations in California and in Israel to see to the needs of individuals and families in times of illness and death. And through it all, she never faltered in her faith, humor, outlook or determination. I will never get over the loss, but the pain is mitigated by a profound sense of gratitude and blessing that I feel because Wendy was in my life for so long — against the odds and the vagaries of ill health. I truly believe that Wendy lived as an inspiration to others. And, I will never be without the other half of my soul.
The post Wendy’s Story appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Rabbi Dan Ross, director of alumni engagement at Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion, discusses the current crisis in rabbinic recruitment, exploring the changing face of the rabbinate, and sharing insights from his research on what draws people to become rabbis. Rabbi Ross suggests practical solutions, the importance of mentorship, and ways to inspire the next generation of Jewish leaders.
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions.
If you do not see a player directly below this paragraph, you can still watch the video by clicking on this link: https://vimeo.com/1188320909?share=copy&fl=sv&fe=ci
Listen to the Audio PodcastYou can listen to the audio podcast version in the player below, or subscribe to the podcast in one of the popular platforms by clicking one of the buttons below the player. If you do not see a player below, you can still listen to the podcast by clicking on this link: LINK
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- Amazon Music About the GuestRabbi Daniel S. RossRabbi Dan Ross is honored to serve his alma mater as the Director of Alumni Engagement. Prior to his return to Hebrew Union College, Rabbi Ross served as a rabbi at Central Synagogue and the Senior Jewish Educator at the Joseph Slifka Center for Jewish Life at Yale.
Currently pursuing a Doctor of Ministry at Hebrew Union College Jewish Institute of Religion, Rabbi Ross was ordained in 2018 from Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion in New York where he was a Wexner Graduate Fellow. During his studies, he received awards for his achievements in Hebrew, liturgy, homiletics, and ecumenical studies. While in rabbinical school, he served for three years as rabbinic intern at Columbia/Barnard Hillel and for two years as student rabbi at Temple Beth Ha-Sholom in Williamsport, Pennsylvania. He also completed a summer chaplaincy internship at Mount Sinai Hospital in New York.
Originally from Merion Station, Pennsylvania, Rabbi Ross graduated summa cum laude and Phi Beta Kappa from the University of Pennsylvania with a bachelor’s degree in history and science, technology, and society. After graduating, he served for two years as a Teach For America corps member in Prince George’s County, Maryland, teaching 7th grade social studies while earning a Master of Arts in Teaching from American University. Following the Corps, Rabbi Ross worked for two years at the Advisory Board Company, a health-care research and consulting firm based in DC.
Rabbi Ross is married to Rabbi Jade Sank Ross ’18, who is an Associate Rabbi at the Community Synagogue in Port Washington, Long Island. They live in Forest Hills, Queens with their daughters Adina and Bella and their dog Rashi.
The post The Changing Face of the Rabbinate: A Discussion with Rabbi Dan Ross – Seekers of Meaning 5/1/2026 appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
This Shabbat, we find ourselves in the midst of Sefirat HaOmer, the counting of the Omer—the seven-week journey between Passover and Shavuot that calls us into reflection on our lives. These forty-nine days ask us to look honestly at who we have been, what we have done that we are proud of, and where we have fallen short. They offer not only a reckoning, but an opportunity for growth. It is precisely in this middle space of reflection that the Torah meets us with Parashat Kedoshim (Leviticus 19:1–20:27), grounding spiritual aspiration in the concrete reality of how we live with one another.
Within this portion appears a commandment that feels immediately familiar: לֹא תִגְנֹב — Lo tignov, “Do not steal” (Exodus 20:13). It is a phrase so well known that we often assume we understand it fully. Yet Torah resists such simplicity. Rashi, drawing on rabbinic tradition, disrupts this assumption by teaching that in the Ten Commandments, this prohibition does not refer to theft of property at all, but to kidnapping. His words, בְּגוֹנֵב נְפָשׁוֹת הַכָּתוּב מְדַבֵּר (B’gonev nefashot ha’katuv medaber), make clear that the verse is speaking about “stealing souls.” In this context, Lo tignov is not about taking money; it is about taking a human being, the theft of an entire life.
Only later, in Parashat Kedoshim, does the Torah return to the prohibition in a different form: לֹא תִגְנֹבוּ — Lo tignovu, “You shall not steal” (Leviticus 19:11). Here, the focus shifts to material theft — money, property, possessions. The distinction is deliberate and instructive. The Torah is establishing a hierarchy without diminishing either category. To take a person is the most extreme violation, but even the theft of a single coin is not trivial. The Rambam teaches that stealing even a small amount is considered as taking something of another’s life, because what a person owns is inseparable from the time, labor, and effort that produced it. In this sense, theft is never merely about objects; it is about the life embedded within them.
This idea is echoed in Proverbs 1:19, which teaches: כֵּן אָרְחוֹת כָּל־בֹּצֵעַ בָּצַע אֶת־נֶפֶשׁ בְּעָלָיו יִקָּח (Kayn orchot kol botze’a batza, et nefesh be’alav yikach) — “Such are the ways of all who gain by injustice; it takes the life of its owner.” The verse does not speak metaphorically. It recognizes that unjust gain diminishes the very life force of the one who is wronged.
The Talmud deepens this moral vision in Bava Kamma 79b, teaching that one who steals in secret is, in a sense, like an idolater. Such a person demonstrates fear of human beings while disregarding the presence of G-d, acting as though there is no ultimate Witness. Theft, then, is not only a violation of another person, but a rupture in one’s relationship with the Divine.
Against this backdrop, the Torah’s call in Leviticus 19:2 takes on its full weight: קְדֹשִׁים תִּהְיוּ — Kedoshim tihyu, “You shall be holy.” Holiness is not achieved through withdrawal from the world, but through ethical engagement within it. It begins with integrity—refusing to take what is not ours, recognizing the humanity and dignity of others, and living in a way that reflects awareness of both human and Divine presence.
In our own time, these teachings are anything but abstract. Older adults in the United States lose tens of billions of dollars each year to scams and financial exploitation —conservative estimates exceed $28 billion annually, with much of it going unreported. The impact extends far beyond financial loss. It destabilizes lives, erodes trust, and fractures a person’s sense of safety and identity. In my own work, I have sat with individuals who have lost not only their resources, but their homes, their independence, and their confidence in the world around them.
Even more hidden from view is the reality that older adults are trafficked — bought and sold in ways that echo the Torah’s most severe understanding of theft. In this light, Lo tignov must be heard in its fullest meaning: do not steal a person, do not steal a life.
Yet the Torah’s concern is not limited to individual wrongdoing. It also speaks to the moral condition of a society. When exploitation becomes normalized, when systems are structured in ways that profit from vulnerability, we are no longer simply witnessing isolated acts of harm. We are participating in a broader culture of erasure. Aging, instead of being honored, becomes something to be managed, minimized, and monetized. A lifetime of contribution is reduced to an economic calculation, and into that space, profit is allowed to flow unchecked. This is not merely greed; it reflects a form of idolatry, where human dignity is subordinated to material gain.
In response, the Torah offers a directive that is both simple and profound. In Leviticus 19:32 we read: תִּקּוּם מִפְּנֵי שֵׂיבָה (Takum mipnei seivah), “You shall rise before the aged.” This is not framed as a feeling or an attitude, but as an action. To rise is to acknowledge presence, to recognize dignity, and to affirm the value of a life lived. It is a call not only to respect, but to responsibility — to see, to honor, and to protect.
Ultimately, the Torah turns this teaching inward. The question is not only what others have done, but how each of us lives in relation to these truths. Where have we taken what was not fully ours? Where have we turned away when someone else was being diminished? Holiness does not demand perfection; it asks for awareness and the willingness to return, again and again, to a path of integrity.
If theft is the taking of what is not ours, then its true opposite is not mere restraint, but generosity. The practices of צְדָקָה (tzedakah) and חֶסֶד (chesed) reflect a different orientation to the world — one that asks not what can be taken, but what can be given, and how we can safeguard what belongs to others.
To live the command קְדֹשִׁים תִּהְיוּ — Kedoshim tihyu — is to embody holiness in the most practical aspects of life: in how we earn, how we take, how we give, and how we respond when the dignity or safety of another person is at risk. It is measured not only in moments of ritual, but in whether we rise — truly rise — when it matters most.
This Shabbat, the question remains close and immediate: Who in our lives needs us to not look away? And what would it mean, here and now, to rise for them?
Shabbat Shalom.
Rabbi Jacke L. Schroeder, LCSW-C
Jacke@RabbiJacke.com
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What should I be, and what would I like to do for the rest of my life, was as foreign a concept as flying to the moon. I never thought I had a choice in that decision. Things would just work out. They always did, just keep going.
Oh, I had a faint image of a future that I never quite understood. Someday I would leave my parents’ home to go into my own place nearby with someone I couldn’t visualize. I had the feeling I wasn’t going to that place very freely. I knew I had to go, yet going into this mental and visual fog did not thrill me. So much of what I did seemed like a puppet show where I was the puppet and “Expectation, Society and Culture” were the puppeteers. I knew the script and moves by heart. There was no room in their play for the free spirit on the end of their strings that was me. We fought and fought. I even managed to break a few strings in my attempt to escape before my time on stage was up, but somehow the strings were repaired and the play continued.
In my family, one of many things I was told, was that I was not going to work for the Kreiss family in the hosiery business. (Well, at that time,) That left only 39,999 choices. I also could rule out 39,996 other choices leaving doctor, lawyer, and accountant. My Aunt Gert soon eliminated two more, leaving only doctor (with subheading dentist allowable), and dentist is what she decided for me. Wanting to please her and her sister, my mother, I did become a dentist. I helped many and approached my profession differently than most, but the core of my being was thwarted from expression and redirected into areas of stifling uncreativity.
The admission to myself of my true passion came many years later. The signs and symptoms were there. I was always drawn to the theatre and music. I couldn’t help dancing, leaping, and singing in the streets after plays like “Man of La Mancha” or “Zorba,” losing myself in my music, whether singing or listening. I loved to dance, and fantasized being my sister’s dancing partner as I spied on her as she practiced modern dance. The desire to create imagery with words was a surprise to me.
There weren’t many excruciatingly long nights of tossing and turning. When they came, it was usually my creative juices erupting into a flood of ideas and images that would not abate. Get up and create, they urged. Stay put and try to quell the roaring flames with sleep. The result was usually a stalemate where neither side won, but I lost golden opportunities.
Retirement offered the challenge to see if I really wanted to do, or could do, all I had fantasized. It was the time to put up or shut up. It was a terrorizing challenge facing myself with no excuses possible. It has taken a while, but now, after 4 ½ years, imagine 4 ½ years, I have let the lava loose and it feels wonderful. I’m no longer troubled about being bottled up. My mind is spewing forth more than I can handle, and I want more. It feels wonderful to finally swim in friendly, fertile waters of creativity.
What should I have been? I don’t really know. Perhaps a dancer, or writer, or singer, or conductor, or teacher, or all of the above. But none of those was to be for one like me, growing up in a home where expectations left no room for self-actualization. Finding oneself was for later, after you made something of yourself. We were expected to marry and settle down, so we did, with maybe not enough thought to what that meant. And then we grew old together.
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So, I only mentioned chicken soup to get your attention, because as Jews, chicken soup is certainly an AWE! What is more AWEsome than coming home to the fragrance of chicken soup bubbling on the stove? We know its AWEsome-ness as the first course to our holiday meals, for what would Pesach or Rosh Hashanah be without such a tradition as chicken soup as the first taste? And when we’re sick or sad, what could be more AWEsome than a bowl of chicken soup placed before us by loving hands to heal all that ails us?
But AWEsome comes in all different smells and tastes, shapes, sizes and colors, emotional and physical experiences, whether they are highs or lows. And what distinguishes the various AWEs in our lives?
It’s our personal reaction to our life experiences that aren’t defined in one single emotion but an encounter that conceptually propels the AWE to a higher level of feeling and delight, an encounter or reaction that separates it from all other moments of happiness, wonder, ah-ah or surprise.
As we age, our baby boomer-ness becomes more present in defining us in our everyday lives. There’s so much to keep up with to stay relevant, in-touch and knowledgeable while living in the 21st century.
Just maneuvering our phones, computers, TVs, aches and pains and current day lingo often feels like a full-time job! Some folks just give in to the old and comfortable ways and others want to keep up with the grandkids! Either direction is a choice and important to one’s contentment, with no right or wrong answer.
Regardless of our daily routines, it seems there is more time to reflect over our lives, the choices we made, the life-style we lived, and I’m reminded of the Dr. Seuss book, Oh, the Places You’ll Go!, which is all about our life’s journey, and by the way, is a great gift for seniors graduating high school or college!
So, as we look in the review mirror of our lives, we tend to ponder the negative events and experiences that we wish we could have changed, but let’s take some special time to revisit the AWEs that have enriched us, stopped us in our tracks, brought immense pleasure and changed our lives.
Exactly what is AWE?
AWE is a feeling you physically and emotionally experience when you undergo a moment that actually quiets your brain to become less self-focused while you are immersed in a great personal sense of happiness and well-being, excitement and joy. You may stop breathing for a second, there’s warmth in your chest, tears may spring and a sense of excitement and peace warms your soul.
If you’re lucky, it will last more than that initial moment and dance you through your day!
I recently came across a distinguished professor of psychology from the University of Berkeley who is one of the leading researchers in the world on “The Emotion of AWE.”
Dacher Keltner has created a serious study in the field of AWE and put it on the scientific map where emotions like AWE, compassion, love and beauty affect health, a sense of well-being and behavior. He wrote the book, AWE: The New Science of Everyday Wonder and How It Can Transform Your Life.
Some of his research suggests AWE could be one of the most powerful and positive emotions for improving mental health, lowering stress and connecting people to each other.
Keltner believes that AWE isn’t that rare, though we might wait for AWE to find us, it’s actually available in everyday life!
So, what are some of the AWEs that move us?
My first thought is seeing a newborn baby for the first time! To touch the silky skin, to smell the freshness of a new life and to look into the innocent eyes that have a future with a clean slate and with wishes for the possibilities this child can achieve.
Certainly, nature with its majestic beauty, color and seasonal change and growth, the awesome expanse of seas to shining seas, from the horizon to the furthest star you can see, the colors of sunrise to sunset, a rainbow, are all AWEsomes that often cannot be expressed with adequate words. Keltner thinks these “micro-doses of AWE” on a small daily basis can shift our mood and outlook.
Do you have a memory of that powerful, colorful, G-d-as-artist AWE from nature?
Music is certainly an emotional experience that brings AWE moments to enhance our day. Whether it’s the Beatles or Rachmaninoff, the sounds of a band or orchestra, a Broadway star or the voice of an angel, can smother the body in total movement with a surge of full-bodied joy and carries every cell into a happy dance!
Is there music today that still catches you off-guard and finds you in AWE of the sounds while your body is swaying to the rhythm?
Great works of art don’t just emote feelings, they amplify and can flood the system that is most personally overwhelming with wonder, joy and connection to the artist. It confirms that you and the artist are sharing a moment of understanding and beauty.
Have you seen the Eiffel Tower, the Statue of Liberty, the Leaning Tower of Pisa, Michelangelo’s David, the Mona Lisa, Van Gogh’s “Starry Night,” Rembrandt’s “The Night Watch,” or Andy Warhol’s “Campbell Soup Can?”
Can you remember what you felt when you saw famous works of art that were centuries old while realizing that someone else’s creativity moved your soul to astonishment for a sense of unbelievable AWE?
Memories of AWE have a point-of-view. Movies, books, poems, the written word, a story, a documentary — are these your treasures of AWE that have informed and taken you places? Which of these art forms have changed a feeling, mood or ideology of yours? Have any of these genres caused a breakthrough or clicked into place a completely different mindset when you had to question years of a belief and you suddenly had to rethink your views? Has someone else’s bigger and broader idea caused you to have a mental expansion? Was it easy to see or feel a new opinion that you never contemplated on changing?
How powerful is the moment from a written word that offers new information that can enlighten your mind to new and extraordinary ideas while sending tingles of AWE excitement throughout your body?
And what about the AWE of relationships? Have you been fortunate enough to meet that special someone who has shared the many blessed AWEs of life’s journey? The person who “gets you, completes you” and finishes your sentences? Has a teacher sent chills of AWE through you to see the world on a bigger map? Has a friend or a group of people taken you to emotional places of friendship, security and connection that allows you to be your AWEsome self at all times? Has an encounter with a stranger changed your life with a moment of AWE?
The AWE of connection can bring fulfillment, comfort, joy, generosity and belonging. Where did you feel this AWE moment and with who?
Children. Grandchildren. There are almost no adjectives to describe the AWE these little people who enter our lives and create moments, memories and sensory emotions of AWEsome that no other experience can give us.
And it’s because of our offspring that I suggest we reminisce about our moments of AWE, with them, one-on-one, in the form of a journal, a video or recording so they know WHO we are, the WHERE we’ve been like in Dr. Seuss’s book, the WHY and HOW of our past and the WHAT that were our AWEs.**
Sharing ourselves with our children and grandchildren is a legacy for them to learn by, connecting them to their past and giving them the permission and idea to go out find their own AWEs.
With gratefulness and love, I send hugs and kisses to RMT & MJT, my children, who gave me a weekend of unbelievable AWE in Carmel for my 80th birthday. The three of us shared gorgeous scenic California views, the conversation and laughter never stopped, continual moments of unconditional love and connectedness, and where the most AWESOME-NESS celebration imaginable will be a light in my life forever.
Always looking for the Jewish angle, AWE and KVELL** go hand-in-hand in feeling emotionally full of overflowing joy for all those who helped make this milestone so memorable.
Thank you!…Sandy
The post “The power of chicken soup”… and all that awes us! appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, clinical psychologist Dr. Daniel Watter discusses the evolving perceptions of sexuality in older adults, particularly in the context of the baby boomer generation.
He emphasizes the natural changes that occur with aging, the societal pressures surrounding youth, and the importance of intimacy beyond traditional sexual norms.
The discussion also touches on the impact of medical technology on sexual health, the differences in male and female experiences, and the cultural attitudes that often stigmatize aging. Ultimately, the conversation advocates for a more open dialogue about sexuality and aging, recognizing the existential aspects of these topics.
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions. If you do not see a player directly below this paragraph, you can still watch the video by clicking on this link: LINK
Listen to the Audio PodcastYou can listen to the audio podcast version in the player below, or subscribe to the podcast in one of the popular platforms by clicking one of the buttons below the player. If you do not see a player below, you can still listen to the podcast by clicking on this link: LINK
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- Amazon Music About the GuestDaniel Watter, Ed.D.Dr. Daniel N. Watter received his doctoral degree from New York University in 1985 and has also earned a post-graduate certificate in Medical Humanities from Drew University. He is licensed as both a psychologist and a marital and family therapist. In addition, he is Board Certified in Sex Therapy by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT), and the American Board of Sexology (ACS), of which is also holds Fellowship status. Dr. Watter is an AASECT certified sex therapy supervisor and has been elected to Fellowship Status in the International Society for the Study of Women’s Sexual Health (ISSWSH).
In addition to his clinical practice, Dr. Watter has held several faculty appointments. Currently, he is a faculty member at the University of Michigan School of Social Work’s Sexual Certification Program and the Modern Sex Therapy Institutes. He has served as an adjunct professor of Psychology at Fairleigh Dickinson, Drew, and Seton Hall Universities, a clinical instructor of OB/GYN and Women’s Health at University of Medicine and Dentistry of New Jersey-New Jersey Medical School, and a clinical assistant professor of psychiatry and behavioral medicine at the New York College of Osteopathic Medicine. Dr. Watter is also a former member of the medical staff of the Saint Barnabas Medical Center in Livingston, New Jersey, and served on the Medical Center’s Ethics Committee.
Dr. Watter is a member of several professional organizations and has been elected to leadership positions in many. He has completed two terms on the New Jersey Psychological Association’s Ethics Committee where he spent two years as the Committee’s chairperson. He has also served two terms as the Secretary/Treasurer of the Society for Sex Therapy and Research (SSTAR), where he previously served as Membership Officer. Dr. Watter is also the former chair of the Diplomate Certification Committee for the American Association for Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT). From 2019-2021 he was the Chair of the AASECT Ethics Advisory Committee. Currently, he is a Past-President of SSTAR. In 2009, Dr. Watter was appointed by New Jersey Governor Jon Corzine to the State Board of Psychological Examiners. He was reappointed by New Jersey Governor Chris Christie in 2017.
A frequent lecturer at professional meetings throughout North America, Dr. Watter is the author of more than 30 professional articles and book chapters on topics such as sexual function and dysfunction, and ethics in healthcare practice. He is currently completing a textbook on Humanistic/Existential Approaches to Sex Therapy Practice
Click here to read Dr. Watter’s blog: morrispsych.com/category/dr-watters-blog/
The post Understanding sexuality in older adults, with psychologist Daniel Watter – Seekers of Meaning 4/24/2026 appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Rabbi Phil Cohen discusses his podcast series, “The Rabbi Podcast,” featuring interviews with Israeli rabbis, exploring the state of religious life in Israel, the impact of recent events like October 7th, and the future of progressive Judaism in the region.
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions. If you do not see a player directly below this paragraph, you can still watch the video by clicking on this link: LINK
Listen to the Audio PodcastYou can listen to the audio podcast version in the player below, or subscribe to the podcast in one of the popular platforms by clicking one of the buttons below the player. If you do not see a player below, you can still listen to the podcast by clicking on this link: LINK
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- Amazon Music About the GuestPhoto by Ivan CutlerRabbi Phil CohenPhil M. Cohen is a rabbi, writer, and podcaster interested in the ways Jewish ideas and stories continue to shape contemporary life.
He is the creator and host of The Rabbi Podcast, a series of conversations with Israeli rabbis about their lives, paths to the rabbinate, and the questions they wrestle with in their work and in tIsraeli society. The podcast offers listeners a window into the diverse worlds of Jewish religious life in Israel.
Phil is also the author of the novel Nick Bones Underground and numerous published short stories. Whether interviewing rabbis or writing fiction, he approaches his subjects with curiosity, humor, and a seriousness about the questions that animate Jewish life.
The post Rabbi Phil Cohen’s ‘Rabbi Podcast’: Insights from Israeli Rabbis – Jewish Sacred Aging 4/17/2026 appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
Editor’s Note: Chaplain Cindy Tanz participated in a recent Sisterhood retreat sponsored by Congregation Kol Ami, Cherry Hill, NJ. The topic of the retreat was “More Joy, Less Oy,” and this essay is one of the outputs from that discussion experience.
I have had many “oy” moments. We could have 40 days and 40 nights of wonderful women’s retreats and still only scratch the surface.
I am a Jewish female who has benefited greatly from all the strong women who have paved the way before me. I am very grateful. My paternal grandmother was a schoolteacher and I am sure that in her day she was one of just a few women who received an education and had a career while raising a family.
In the 1970s many of my friends’ parents had traditional roles as homemakers and were stay at home moms. My mother died when I was nine, and my brother and I were latchkey children who pretty much raised ourselves. We learned to be independent, and secretly, I was a little jealous of my friends whose moms were there to greet them when they returned home from school.
In the 1980s there seemed to be a shift of expectations. Men were more open than their fathers before them to take on tasks that were traditionally set for women. They were participating more in the household, yet many women were still experiencing the reality and responsibility of the same traditional roles with the addition of a full time career. The idea that they could “bring home the bacon and fry it up in the pan” was not kosher, it was an effective perfume slogan highlighting new norms that were very difficult to sustain.
Being a Jewish female in adulthood brought with it many challenges. There were times in my life where I made myself small. To assimilate and belong, I downplayed my Jewishness and femininity in the workplace and perhaps in my life. There was nothing to draw from. There was no inner wisdom or strength. I was young and I didn’t know better. This was marginalization.
It is extremely challenging and draining when systemic micro-aggressions occur in everyday life. I would like to share some uncomfortable situations that I experienced and how I navigated through them.
The first of these was in my work life. I was a sales professional who experienced various forms of harassment and inequality. There were times when bosses and customers presented scenarios that had a direct effect on my livelihood.
One was when a boss told me at a meeting that something had to get done even if I had to “cry to get it done.” Images of Lucy Ricardo and Laura Petrie were floating in my head. I wondered if he ever asked a man to cry to get an order.
Another was during a merger when I was being interviewed by a potential new boss. He described himself as “the daddy” when referring to his subordinates. The idea of working for him was just unimaginable and thankfully I never did.
Upon reflection, I truly believe that I was not alone during those times and that my journey to becoming a chaplain and working for a Jewish organization was fortified by how I handled myself in those situations by just saying, “no.” There was something inside my neshamah, a drawing of courage that empowered me to use my voice to bring it into the light. I named it either aloud or in writing saying, “this is just not ok.” It lost its power.
The second “oy” experience was encountering antisemitism and stereotyping during my chaplain training class. We had participants from different faith traditions and we started the semester getting to know one another by pairing up, listening to each other’s bios, and then introducing our partner to the group. One of the chaplains presented her partner and at the end of her summary celebrated him by calling him a “Completed Jew”.
I almost fell off my chair. I was speechless…. I was called on next to introduce my partner and no words would come out of my mouth. I was having a moment. I had never heard of that. Thankfully Google assisted me in understanding this concept of supercessionism, the idea that the new covenant of Christianity replaced, or “completed,” the covenant with the Jewish people.
That experience led me to share a meaningful encounter that I had with a rabbi at the hospital as my first case study for the group. Initially, I was going to quietly present it privately with my advisor since it felt very personal to me. I made the decision to bring the topic into the light as a way to educate the group on how I received the term “Completed Jew.” I wondered if the Christians in my group considered Muslims “Completed Christians.”
The third was with a Catholic study group on Zoom. To understand Catholic theological themes and to be a better chaplain for my Christian patients, I participated in a weekly bible study on the Beatitudes. I found many of the concepts to be quite Jewish. One day the presenter decided to use a video to highlight an upside-down concept showing what appeared to be a Nazi as a good guy and the person he was after the bad guy. This was followed up with an antisemitic trope from the Merchant of Venice. Again, I was speechless.
My priest friend who was also on the Zoom call contacted me afterwards to make sure I was ok. We had a candid conversation, and he helped facilitate a follow-up discussion with me and the presenter. She gave me an opportunity to address the group the next week on the subject matter of antisemitism and The Merchant of Venice. I took her up on the invitation and that by choice was the last Bible study I had with the group.
Systemic misogyny and antisemitism often goes unchecked. Society is not always ready for change. People hate change. What overtly looks like progress sometimes has hidden obstacles. Things that we thought were resolved come out in strange new ways. It is easy to label something big as discriminatory like the reversal of Roe v Wade or antisemitic like the violence in Pittsburgh’s Tree of Life, Pennsylvania Gov. Josh Shapiro’s home, and Oct 7th.
It is up to us to discern when to speak and when to be quiet. When to stay and when to go, to be true to ourselves and to have the agency to live our best lives.
Joy is not the elimination of “oy.”
It is learning to find the blessings no matter where you are in that continuum between happiness and sadness.
It is finding the strength and courage to integrate your “oy” into Joy.
The post Integrating Oy into Joy appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Irit Chapnick, founder and director of the grief counseling website, DiscoveryThroughGrief.com, shares her journey through grief following her son’s suicide, exploring creative and movement-based healing methods, the importance of rituals, and the power of love and community in the grieving process.
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions. If you do not see a player directly below this paragraph, you can still watch the video by clicking on this link: LINK
Listen to the Audio PodcastYou can listen to the audio podcast version in the player below, or subscribe to the podcast in one of the popular platforms by clicking one of the buttons below the player. If you do not see a player below, you can still listen to the podcast by clicking on this link: LINK
- Apple Podcasts
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- Amazon Music About the GuestIrit ChapnickIrit Chapnick is the creator of the website discoverythroughgrief.com. Located in San Antonio, Texas, Irit has dedicated her work in grief coaching to her son, Jonathan Sacks, who took his life on 12/28/2020 during the Covid Epidemic.
She has studied with Dr. Edith Eger and Chris Duncan and received a coaching certificate in Magnetic Mind Conscious Education. She is currently studying with David Kessler in the Grief Education Certificate program.
Although military families and survivors of suicide was the direction her work first took, Irit has broadened her approach to include loss of a marriage or relationship; loss of a beloved pet; or loss of the dream job you. She is supported on her website by a variety of coaches and creators and believes that movement and creation are essential to coming to terms with grief!
In her latest role, Irit has become a Court Appointed Special Advocate (CASA) for Bexar County, Texas.
The post Healing Through Grief: Irit Chapnick’s Journey – Seekers of Meaning 4/10/2026 appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
A note from Rabbi Address: Steve Friedman celebrated his 83rd birthday by renewing the tradition of having a second Bar Mitzvah at age 83. The Biblical three-score and ten years plus thirteen. It is a great tradition and this is his Dvar Torah/Simchat Chochmah presented on Erev Shabbat March 13 at Kol Ami in Cherry Hill, NJ.
On February 25th 1956, I became a Bar Mitzvah for the first time. I remember delivering my Torah portion confidently with no nervousness at all. A D’var Torah was not required, just the performance. That 13 year old boy had no idea what life held in store.
On February 17th 2026, I celebrated my 83rd birthday and the 70th anniversary of that day. Time flies.
Many years back a dear friend in our congregation celebrated his 2nd Bar Mitzvah explaining that he was blessed to have reached 13 years past his allotted 70. The idea appealed to me, so on March 13, 2026 this old man came to the Torah with a lifetime of experience in tow.
As I stood in front of the Ark, waiting to be handed the Torah in the presence of my beloved congregation I was unprepared for the emotion I felt. This time I chanted Torah with a lump in my throat, and delivered my D’var Torah. The portion was Vayakhel which talks about God’s requiring the Israelites to come together to build a Mishkan (temple), so that He/She might dwell amongst us. I suggested that in that gathering, relationships develop and for me that is where God/godliness exists. Also in a conversation with Rabbi Address, he proposed the idea of a personal Mishkan. That struck a chord. Over these 83 years, perhaps not realizing it, I’ve created an inner Mishkan which houses both the Chochmah, the wisdom of my life’s experience and the still small voice that that guides me.
To have been able to share this with my congregation, family and friends, was truly a blessing.
L’shalom,
Steve
Steve Friedman generously allowed us to provide these excerpts from his Bar Mitzvah ceremony, which you can watch in the video player below.
The post Reflections on Life: My Second Bar Mitzvah Experience appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
Just a reminder of this month’s Both Sides Now webinar for older adults.
Our FREE webinars are facilitated by myself and Rabbi Mark Levin.
These are non-structured discussions inviting conversation about issues we are facing, from family to medical and more.
Feel free to join our next webinar on Monday, April 27, 2026 from 4P-5.30 P.M. US EASTERN TIME.
To register please email markhowardlevin@gmail.com and put “We’re Aging” in the subject line so we can send you the zoom info.
Thanks
Rabbi Richard F Address
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On this rebroadcast episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, originally aired May 31, 2024, Rabbi Dalia Marx, Ph.D., the Rabbi Aaron D. Panken Professor of Liturgy and Midrash at HUC-JIR’s Taube Family Campus in Jerusalem, discusses her new book, From Time to Time, Journeys in the Jewish Calendar.
Time is fundamental to the human experience, and in Judaism it is even more—time is sanctified. Understanding the Jewish calendar is thus essential for fully comprehending Judaism. In From Time to Time, Rabbi Dalia Marx, PhD, presents a fascinating exploration of the treasures of the Jewish year. The book artfully blends traditional and contemporary perspectives on each Hebrew month and its holidays. Rabbi Marx’s insights are paired with striking illustrations; each month also features a diverse selection of poetry, prayers, and songs. Taking a distinctively Israeli, feminist, and progressive approach, From Time to Time is a comprehensive, indispensable companion you will want to return to each season.
Download a study guide from the CCAR Press website.
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- Amazon Music About the GuestRabbi Dalia Marx, Ph.D.Rabbi Dalia Marx, Ph.D., is the Rabbi Aaron D. Panken Professor of Liturgy and Midrash at HUC-JIR’s Taube Family Campus in Jerusalem, and teaches in various academic institutions in Israel and Europe.
Marx, a tenth generation Jerusalemite, earned her doctorate at the Hebrew University and her rabbinic ordination at HUC-JIR in Jerusalem and Cincinnati in 2002. She is involved in various research projects and is active in promoting liberal Judaism in Israel. Marx writes for academic and popular journals and publications.
Marx is the lead editor of the Israeli Reform siddur, Tfillat HaAdam (2020). Her book From Time to Time: Journeys in the Jewish Calendar (Yeditos Sfarim 2018), was translated to several languages, and is available in English from the CCAR Press.
She is the author of When I Sleep and When I Wake: On Prayers between Dusk and Dawn (Yediot Sfarim, 2010, in Hebrew), A Feminist Commentary of the Babylonian Talmud (Mohr Siebeck, 2013, in English), About Time: Journeys in the Jewish-Israeli Calendar (Yediot Sfarim, 2018, in Hebrew) and the co-editor of a few books. See Marx’s website.
Marx lives in Jerusalem with her husband, Roly Zyblersztein, Ph.D. They have three children.
The post ENCORE BROADCAST: Seekers of Meaning 5/31/2024: Rabbi Dalia Marx, author of “From Time to Time: Journeys in the Jewish Calendar” appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
In the Fall/Winter edition of the Hartman Institute journal “Sources,” Rabbi Jonathan Zasloff wrote on this age of uncertainty in which we find ourselves. He wrote that this age is like living on a “knife-edge” and “relishing that ambiguity as the cosmic test of this generation.” To live in this age of uncertainty, he wrote, “requires a collective moral struggle to preserve both our people and our values, particularly when these two goals seem in contradiction.” Rather than seeing a sense of meaning from the outside/political sphere, Zasloff asks us to consider re-examining and returning to a sense of “devakut” or clinging to what is sacred. This, he noted, is not a “state of mind, but more profoundly, it is a way of life.” As we enter the Passover season, I wanted to suggest to you that we think about this concept of “devakut” and what it may mean to “cling” to the core values of how we choose to live our life. There may be no better symbolic representation of this than the Seder ritual itself.
The Seder begins with a question, as so many of us have now. “Why?” Not only do we ask why the night is different, but communally we have been asking for a while now, “why” is this happening? The burning and shooting of synagogues, the attacks on Jews here and abroad: “Why?” Why do we as a community that felt so secure within the embrace and promise of the United States, now feel so alone and vulnerable after October 7? Is there one answer, or several answers that represent the spectrum of human experience, much like the Four Children whose section follows the Four Questions? So, we begin to tell our story, the “Magid,” the Seder, the story that goes from slavery to hope, told against the symbolism of the Exodus and the Wilderness, itself a metaphor for each of our lives. How many of us will open the door for Elijah, sing “Eliahu Ha-Navi” and wish for peace, for the world and for ourselves in ways we never thought we would live to see?
Passover, I suggest, is a powerful ritual, done in community, but very personal. One of the rituals associated with Passover can be considered as a preview of this duality. For many Jews, the days leading up to the Seder are involved with the cleansing of the home of “chametz,” the leavened products forbidden during the festival. We clean out that which is impure from our home, but what of our soul? As one Hagaddah notes on this ritual: “Take time to look scrupulously within for parts of yourself that have fermented and gone sour, that have become ‘old stuff,’ outdated.”
The Seder thus calls on us to free ourselves from that which continues to enslave us, our own personal Egypt! This speaks to one of the most important tensions that confront us as we grow older. I speak of the tension of holding on and letting go. Our Jewish festival cycle speaks to us of this tension many times. Often, we are called upon to reexamine our life and to have the courage to let go of that which binds us, enslaves us.
The Book of Leviticus, which occupies many of our current Torah portions, deals a lot with sacrifice. That Hebrew, the word “korbon,” has the sense of drawing near to God. The need to be in community now seems to be increasingly present. A recent sermon by Rabbi Jennifer Frenkel of Cong. Kol Ami on the day following the Temple Israel attack pointed out that, amid so much uncertainty, it is community that allows us to draw near to the sacred and, equally if not more important, each other. In this way, we “cleave” to core values of the power of our relationships. This Passover season is a perfect time to re-energize and renew our sense of community and relationships through the power of a sacred and ancient ritual.
May your Passover be one of peace, life, memory and health.
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Many will set a seder table this week. Many will leave a space at that seder table with a wine goblet or glass, in the hope that Elyahu will enter, perhaps symbolically, signaling that we have finally made the world worthy of moshiach to join us. Many will set a place with a symbolic orange to symbolize Miriam’s role in the Passover narrative, from saving Moses to leading the women across the sea.
Who else might be missing? Who else deserves a space at your seder table? Think of family or friends separated by too many miles or kilometers to be there in person. Think of distant family, immediate family, and friends now on the other side of estrangement. They have not spoken to each other for so long that they have even forgotten what started an unnecessary schism..
Think of those no longer alive. Perhaps it was aging. Perhaps it was an illness that increasingly robbed both soul and body. Think of traumatic death.
Each year, on the Sunday before Thanksgiving, I run the national ZOOM support program for Jewish survivors of suicide loss. Most of those whose lives ended by suicide would have been welcome at the seder table of their families. The survivors tell us that. They still can be. Why not set a symbolic space for them?
Rabbi Address teaches a profound malady of our times he labels FOBF. It stands for Fear of Being Forgotten. Pesach ends with Yizkor, our directive within the name of the prayer itself: “You will remember.” The Haggadah teaches us that much of our problems in Egypt derived from, “There arose in Egypt a pharaoh who did not know Joseph.” A collective memory with an empty space.
There is a line in the First Book of Samuel that is my torah at this time. The line is, “Thou shalt be missed because thy seat will be empty.” “Thou shalt be missed because thy seat will be empty.”
Leave a seat empty, if this applies to you. Reflect on who is missing. Reflect on who is missed. Traditional Jewish calendars had the option of stating with Passover. This is a time when you can begin again, or at least try. Repair the relationships which tear you from others who could sit at your seder table. At least try. Let it begin with you.
Chadeish yameinu commands us to return, not only to HaShem, but first to each other.
Chag sameach.
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Chol HaMo-eid Pesach, Holidays Exodus 33:12-34:26
Guest D’Var Torah By: Cantor David Fair
As the director of a religious school, I recently gave a pep talk to one of my young teachers. I said, “I know this is scary, but you can do this. You are capable of great things, and I believe in you.” These are words that every parent or boss has had to say from time to time to their child or employee. Another way of phrasing that is: “I’m here for you. You’ve got this.”
Parashat Chol HaMo-eid Pesach begins with Moses feeling anxious. God instructs Moses to lead the Hebrews out of Egypt, but Moses is nervous. Moses tries to decline God’s mission. It’s as if he says, “God, I totally want to do this for you, but I don’t know how, and I can’t do it by myself. I really need your help!”
God responds with a statement that I think should be the motto of every teacher, parent, and leader: panai yeileichu vahanichoti, meaning, “I will go in the lead and will lighten your burden” (Exodus 33:14).
My job is so much more than making sure my teachers have enough scissors and construction paper; it’s being their cheerleader, support system, and resource. When a teacher is feeling uncertain or doesn’t know how to proceed, I have to find a way to guide them.
God sees this ambivalence in Moses. So, God shares the 13 Attributes of Mercy: 13 ways God is gracious and kind.
It doesn’t say this in the Torah, but I personally view these words as a gift from God to Moses — the gift of a powerful prayer that can reassure those who are nervous or uncertain. When you need to know that there is a sacred, warm, and wise presence surrounding you at all times, this prayer can remind you of that. It is also in our liturgy, repeated three times during Passover, Shavuot, Sukkot, and the High Holidays. The 13 Attributes include:
- Adonai (God)
- God (God)
- Eil (All-Knowing One)
- Rachum (merciful)
- V’chanun (gracious)
- Erech apayim (slow to anger)
- V’rav chesed (with abundant kindness)
- V’emet (and truth)
- Notseir chesed la-alafim (who remembers deeds of love for thousands of generations)
- Nosei avon (forgives guilt of our sins)
- Vafesha (and transgressions)
- V’chata’ah (and releases us)
- V’nakeih (and frees us [from our guilt])
Recite this prayer as a prayer of compassion for yourself when you need it most. Personally, I find this prayer the most useful when I’m on the verge of tears, at my lowest, and don’t know how to move forward. When I don’t know who to turn to or where to find solace, I know that it’s time for me to pray. God is not going to be able to solve my problems, I know that; but God can at least hold my hand. This is my prayer calling out to God for strength. I imagine God’s hand on my shoulder, whispering, “David, I’m with you. You’ve got this.”
This prayer can also serve in a completely different capacity. When I’m feeling down on myself, it’s usually because I’ve screwed up and I’m punishing myself. I’ll start making unkind comments about my own intelligence. I’ll convince myself I don’t deserve great things. Even worse, I’ll feel like I deserve to feel punished. I guess I think being hard on myself is somehow productive, but of course, the only purpose it serves is to make me feel even worse.
When I get into my head in such a dark way, this is another opportunity when I know I have to turn to prayer and use the 13 Attributes. When I screw up, does God want me to feel judged and chastised, or does God want me to hold my head up and move forward with grace?
This list does not just tell us all the ways that God is merciful to God’s people; it’s telling us how we can be merciful toward ourselves. After all, we are God’s people. All of us.
When you’ve failed to show compassion or grace because someone caught you in a moment when you were stressed, is it possible for you to do t’shuvah and then show compassion and grace to yourself (rachum v’chanun)? When you’ve made a big mistake at work and people are unhappy with you, can you be slow to anger with yourself (erech apayim)? When you’re on a fitness journey, and skip the gym one night, can you be abounding in kindness to yourself (rav chesed)? When you tell a half-truth, can you endeavor to try to do better the next time (emet)? Perhaps you found out that your parents did something harmful or problematic years ago. Instead of feeling blame and shame, can you extend kindness to the thousandth generation (notser chesed laalafim)? When you lose your temper and hurt the feelings of someone you love, after you do t’shuvah, can you find a way to alleviate the guilt, wrongdoing, and sin for yourself (nosei avon vafesha v’chata’ah v’nakeih)?
There’s a lot to being a leader. It’s so much more than increasing return on investments, membership numbers, or any other quantifiable goals. Being a leader is being a source of support to the people who look up to you. Being a teacher, parent, or leader is showing by example and being a source of support for yourself.
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We do not need to discuss the turbulent, chaotic and uncertain world we live in today. Our lives are consumed with “BREAKING NEWS!” headlines that only infringe our heads with confusion, worries and fears.
That’s a place, I believe as baby boomers, we thought were over after the Viet Nam War. But here we are folks, hoping our grandchildren and their future won’t be collateral damage from some very incompetent and foolish people.
As much as we try to right the world, we only have voting power, sharing legitimate information and educating those who are clueless, with the hopes they will listen. I believe by sharing our stories with our grandkids, they can see how different the world CAN be (remember, this is the only world they know) where kindness, honesty and dissemination of credible information is possible. Our tales of the past may give them a view that a brighter future is ahead.
As I approach a BIG birthday, my thoughts are “More years behind me than in front of me” and while I start my annual Passover/Spring cleaning (Bubbe would be so proud, as she was my example!), I see chotchkes, mementoes, art pieces, favorite items of clothing, and I wonder how the kids will divide my stuff up, who will get what? Should I make a list? Do I want some items to be very specific for each child and grandchild? (I have designated my wedding wine glasses for each grandchild to use for their weddings, to either break or drink from!) And who gets the two diamond rings?
While taking a walk recently, as the sun was setting, I contemplated these questions and realized gratefully, I am fortunate to have good health, but I needed answers for a sense of completion to my life, as I truly believe the legacy we leave is so important. The weather had been funky that day, sunny one minute, dark clouds the next, a little rainy and some far-off thunder. I was suddenly aware of the contrasts in life. It’s funny how moments of reflection can happen and be captured by sights and sounds that are always there in our vision but often unseen and unheard.
I was then reminded of something my 22-year-old granddaughter said to me recently, after I asked how her new job has been going since her college graduation (she majored in art and design). Out of the mouths of babes, she answered, “You know, Butzee, this is a good first job, not my forever or dream position, but what I’m learning about myself is that “We must UNBECOME before we can BECOME.”**
I asked her to tell me more and she explained that not being a student with definite deadlines, schedules and college stresses was a contrast to her job as the design specialist in a high-end furniture and accessory company. Her position gave her time and space to learn about what kind of artist she wants to be, whether it’s painting and drawing, graphic or product design, photo or magazine art.
We reflected on what we called “white-space-time” that were valuable moments as she UNBECOMES a student; meaning that a lack of pressure to just be and do and create gives her the ability to think and fill in the blanks for her future possibilities.
She realized this is a most meaningful and precious gift she has given herself. I asked what she meant by that and she shared that most of her friends are working high-powered/stressful jobs they don’t necessarily like but with the difficult job market for graduating college seniors, they took what they could get.
She said, “I’m grateful that I have the white space to contemplate what comes next so I can BECOME whom I’m meant to be.” I’m so proud of her approach to life, especially that she is introspective enough to go slow and live her life on her terms and learn along the way.
Our life, thoughts, feelings, decisions and experiences are often fleeting moments as part of the human experience that takes us from day to day. Over our lifetime, in our rush to do, did we often lose the ability to go slow and analyze what comes next, to think about who we could BECOME? And as we think of our past, did we let the distance between past, present and future collapse, making time irrelevant? Did we allow family, work, and responsibilities to take over without considering other choices? Damn, life just gets in the way and takes up all our time!
But now as baby boomers, our time is freer with more moments to be introspective and go back and revisit our choices, think how and why decisions were made, were the outcomes good for us, would we take the same paths again, exactly what would we do differently or the same, and why?
Because our human consciousness isn’t trapped in one moment as emotional and spiritual experiences stretch far beyond ourselves and across the generations. Sharing important information with our children and grandchildren closes a gap that connects us by emphasizing shared feelings and impressions.
While every person’s life matters, no one’s story should be excluded from the connection and continuity of our family histories. Revealing our journey when we had self-doubts, insecurities, made good/bad decisions, the highs and lows of our life, regrets and guilts, that are all human trials, battles and turning points, convey universal occurrences that are the rise and fall of the human spirit, for as humans, we are more alike than different.
Sharing our peaks and valleys, the tapestry of having sorrows and getting to the joys can be like Passover: A letting-go of certain moments in our lives can be like leaving Egypt, you are no longer enslaved to the past, it’s your personal Exodus narrative, a freedom of inner bondage and personal liberation. And being vulnerable can cleanse the soul and bring emotional peace; peace comes in a variety of ways and inner peace is a gift.
Letting our grandchildren know our personal emotions and feelings makes us human to them and gives them permission to make their own choices, experience failure as a learning tool and know that perfection is not a criteria for success.
When our stories are shared with loved ones, they can learn from us and retell our stories as legacy, as our life bridges us to the next generations. Tell it now, write it now and insert the pages in the family Haggadah so YOU have control over the narrative. Play your role by creating a historical chapter in your family’s story while connecting the soul and spiritual significance for your Passover celebration, making your family Seder uniquely yours.
Ensure yourself to the future generations by connecting your humanity that will read as shared experiences. You will be contributing to universal and timeless tales to be passed down and shared over and over again, as is part of our Jewish tradition of telling stories out loud. A mitzvah, a Jewish tradition.
Chag Pesach Sameach! May your Seder be yummy and your matzah be crunchy!
Sandy
PS: After Covid, for the first Seder our family was together, I asked my four teenage grandkids to write a paragraph sharing how they could connect the bondage of being home for almost two years and the story of Passover. Our Seder table was washed in tears as each of them expressed different comparisons of being isolated and how they now understood the story of Passover with a deeper meaning. These stories are now attached to our family Haggadah and read each year.
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The events of the past few years in the Jewish world have made me think a lot about my family history. On my dad’s side, his Polish Catholic ancestors made their way to America in the 1920s for the same reasons that my mom’s Ashkenazi Jewish ancestors did: for a better life. Both sets of ancestors left Europe at just the right moment, and if not for their courage there is no doubt that I would not have been born at all in the 1980s.
Because they were willing to give up everything that they had known in their homelands, and come to a completely foreign country, I was able to experience a relatively idyllic life growing up in the suburban landscape of 1990s Detroit. Not only did we want for nothing, but I experienced none of the deadly antisemitism of the old world, and barely any of the American cultural antisemitism that has pervaded our society.
I was always aware of Jewish history and learned the tragic Holocaust stories of my own family that stayed back in Europe, of those who were deported to the camps or shot dead into ditches by the Einsatzgrüppen. My first major experience of Holocaust history came in sixth grade, when we studied the period at length and took a class field trip to the Holocaust Center in Farmington Hills. I already knew a hint of what had gone on half a century prior, and I remember spending the evening sobbing at what I had seen.
I grew up thinking that it was normal to wonder which of your neighbors and friends would save you from the next round of Nazis. I also remember wondering what I would have done had I been forced to endure one of the camps: Try to survive, lead a revolt, throw myself against the electric fence? When I found out that every child did not grow up with these questions, I was shocked. But of course, these are questions that only those with a history of profound generational trauma would think to ask.
The recent attack on Temple Israel in West Bloomfield, located 25 minutes from where I grew up in Royal Oak (home of Father Coughlin and Shrine of the Little Flower), hit me hard. Detroit had been a model of coexistence between the large Jewish and Muslim communities in the area, but not anymore. My mom had partly grown up in West Bloomfield, had been confirmed at Temple Israel, and my grandfather had played piano for Shabbat services there. I went there once to reaffirm my Judaism in their mikveh. A friend’s child was in the Temple Israel preschool at the time of the attack.
But history is not just in the past, and the future often can be predicted. We are living in an intense time in which it has become fashionable again to “blame the Jews” for just about anything wrong with our society. It must feel good for society to have a scapegoat, a convenient “oppressor” upon which to take out its pent-up anger. In reality, we Jews are just like everyone else, trying to raise our families, make a living, and succeed in a tough world. Sometimes, though, the outside narrative is more powerful than reality.
There are certainly other groups these days that risk their lives simply to exist openly. It is more so that way for us Jews now, too. Being raised in an intercultural secular home gave me some perspective on the non-Jewish world as well, and the ways in which all peoples have very fundamental things in common. Nowadays, quite a few people have forgotten this, and the dehumanization of “the other” is becoming public sport.
These days, I feel the weight of the past growing heavier on my shoulders, and now that I have children, on theirs too. Our girls are also being raised in a multicultural household, as proud Jews, and as carriers of the residue of past events. They are still too young to fully confront today’s news and the latest acts of antisemitic outrage that fill the headlines. I wonder, sometimes, if they can feel it though, through me, or through their genes, those inherited epigenetic changes that carry the messages of generations gone by.
I remain grateful that I am here in this country today, a free land with an overabundance of decent people, something that I have experienced in bridging many different cultures in my lifetime. Still, though, we are entering uncharted territory for my generation of Jews, and it is only natural to look back a little over 80 years, a single human lifetime, to see the end result of unchecked hatred of our people. We will not give up our identity and our heritage merely to survive. Therefore, we must live in danger. May we all draw on the strength of our ancestors in facing this future with bravery and compassion.
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In this encore episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, originally broadcast April 11, 2025, Rabbi Richard Address engages with Rabbi Amy Schwartzman, senior rabbi of Temple Rodef Shalom, Falls Church, VA, and Rabbi Matthew Soffer, senior rabbi of Judea Reform Congregation, Durham, NC, to explore the significance of Passover in the context of current events.
They discuss how this year’s Seder will resonate deeply with themes of oppression, resistance, and hope, reflecting on personal and communal challenges. The conversation highlights the evolving role of progressive Judaism and the importance of faith and community in navigating difficult times, ultimately calling for action and inspiration as they approach the holiday.
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- Amazon Music About the GuestsSnake RiverRabbi Amy SchwartzmanRabbi Schwartzman was born and raised in Philadelphia, PA. She received her Masters of Hebrew Literature in 1988, and ordination in 1990, from the Hebrew Union College Jewish Institute of Religion in New York City. Following ordination, she joined Temple Rodef Shalom as our Temple’s first Assistant Rabbi and became the synagogue’s first Associate Rabbi. In June of 1998, following the retirement of Rabbi Lazlo Berkowits z”l, Rabbi Schwartzman was installed as Senior Rabbi of Rodef Shalom, giving Temple Rodef Shalom the distinction of being one of the largest congregations headed by a woman rabbi.
Rabbi Schwartzman is involved in the leadership of many Jewish organizations and has served on the executive board of the Central Conference of American Rabbis (CCAR) and co-coordinated the Women’s Rabbinic Network of Reform Judaism. She has also worked with many community organizations including the Religious Coalition for Reproductive Choice, many national and local housing organizations, and has been active in community AIDS projects.
Rabbi Matthew SofferRabbi Matthew V. Soffer is the senior rabbi of Judea Reform Temple in Durham, South Carolina.
He lives in Durham with his wife and three children.
Rabbi Soffer was ordained as a graduate of the New York Campus of the Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion. He served at Temple Israel of Boston since 2009, beginning as a rabbinic intern and finishing as Senior Associate Rabbi. As a Student Rabbi, he served at Main Line Reform Temple and Congregation Beth Elohim, both in New York. His work has included portfolios in Social Jusice and in outreach to and engagement of Jews in their 20s and 30s.
Among his honors are the Religious Action Center’s 50 Faces of Justice, Newsweek/Daily Beast’s 10 Rabbi’s to Watch, and NFTY President’s Award. His publications include “Global Swarming: Can We Become Worthy of Creation,” CCAR Press, 2017; several commentaries and essays on My Jewish Learning, on Reform Judaism.org, and in The Times of Israel. His work also includes music composition and performance, comedy, and community organizing.
The topic of his Rabbinic Thesis, “Listening for Laughter: Sensing Humor in the Babylonian Talmud,” is a wonderful window on his character and style.
You can follow him on Twitter @MattSoffer and listen to his podcast, Pulpit on the Commons.
The post ENCORE BROADCAST: Passover Reflections from two rabbis on Seekers of Meaning 4/11/2025 appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
As we anticipate the fragile release of the HOSTAGES, many of us feel the uneasiness and uncertainty about the process proceeding without a hitch. In this volatile world, the combination of the diverse characters who are the decision makers, and the knowledge of “You just never know what’s next!” or “Is it too good to be true?” and “Can you trust all the actors involved?” leaves us on edge waiting for the ending of an extraordinary real-life cliff-hanger. Dangling around us, is, “Can we trust what we hear?
And, most likely, we won’t know all the answers for awhile but once we see the HOSTAGES back on Israeli soil, we can let out a big sigh of relief and concentrate on hope, renewal, and a rebuilding of Gaza and Israel, and how Palestinians will renovate their country and restore their lives, and what shape the two lands will form. The road ahead for recovering will take patience, collaboration and empathy for and from all sides. Prayers that Israel and the government can move forward with a real PEACE in all the areas that need healing, reassembling and renewing.
To even try to imagine what the HOSTAGES and their family members feel is beyond reach, for what they have endured for two years is unfathomable to comprehend. We can only hope and pray for physical and emotional healing for everyone. No person, no family should ever have to live through such pain and suffering.
As Jews, we thought the torture and suffering was over in 1945 but we still continue to be put through events that test our survival. WHY? we ask, if we are the Chosen People? Does it get clearer as to what we were chosen for?
To this I shout, DAYENU! Which in Hebrew means ENOUGH! On one hand, DAYENU! means we are expressing gratitude for miracles and blessings during Passover, and one miracle would have been enough and that our suffering should have sufficed.
But in this instance, let’s shout DAYENU! to say, ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! ENOUGH SUFFERING! And on the other hand, let’s shout DAYENU! for the miracle that the HOSTAGES are coming home!
The post Shout DAYENU! appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Rabbi Richard Address speaks with Rabbi Leah Berkowitz, senior Jewish educator at the Hillel at Temple University, Philadelphia, PA, and author of children’s books.
They discuss the process of writing for children, the importance of midrash, and the role of grandparents in children’s literature.
Rabbi Berkowitz shares insights on how her books convey hidden messages for both children and adults, the challenges of writing for different age groups, and the significance of storytelling in Jewish education. The conversation also touches on interfaith families and the portrayal of grandparents in literature, as well as navigating themes of loss and grief in children’s books.
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions.
Listen to the Audio PodcastYou can listen to the audio podcast version in the player below, or subscribe to the podcast in one of the popular platforms by clicking one of the buttons below the player.
- Apple Podcasts
- YouTube
- Spotify
- Podchaser
- Amazon Music About the GuestRabbi Leah BerkowitzLeah Rachel Berkowitz is a rabbi, teacher, and author based in Philadelphia, PA. She currently serves as the Senior Jewish Educator for Hillel at Temple University. Leah also teaches for Gratz College, the Union for Reform Judaism, the Jewish Learning Collaborative, and Laasok.org. Each summer, she serves on the faculty at the URJ 6 Points Creative Arts Academy. She is a Jewish Studio Project Fellow, a Rukin Rabbinic Fellow at 18 Doors (formerly Interfaith Family), and a Past President of the Women’s Rabbinic Network. She has contributed to The Torah: A Women’s Commentary, The Sacred Calling: Four Decades of Women in the Rabbinate, and several of the CCAR Press prayer books and anthologies. She is the author of three children’s books and the co-author of the middle-grade midrash collection Maybe It Happened This Way: Bible Stories Reimagined (with Erica Wovsaniker). You can find her on social media @rabbilrb or online at leahrachelberkowitz.com
The post Exploring Children’s Literature with Rabbi Leah Berkowitz – Seekers of Meaning 10/10/2025 appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
You are invited to join in a monthly open-ended discussion on the issues that concern us as we age. This is a conversation on the ideas, joys, challenges and concerns that all of us have and how Jewish tradition can speak to us.
Please register for the next session. NO COST
The Webinars will be facilitated by Rabbi Richard Address and Rabbi Mark Levin.
October 27, 2025 – 4:00-5.30 PM EDT/3:00-4:30 CDT
To sign up email markhowardlevin@gmail.com and put “We’re Aging” in subject line. A zoom code will be sent.
The post Next Session 10/27 (CORRECTED DATE) 4 p.m. EDT/3 p.m. CDT – From Both Sides Now: Monthly Conversations on Our Life’s Journey appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
(Author’s note: I wrote this almost a month ago. But my brain got stuck in the world’s craziness, and I forgot to submit it. It seems even more relevant in that craziness)
As many of you know, I love movies. Debbie and I see an average of one movie every week in the theatre. We are members of one of the theatre chain clubs, which allows us for the monthly fee to see 4 moves each week (I don’t think there has ever been four movies I wanted to see in one week). If you see two a month, you save money. Especially if you buy the expensive tickets to see a movie in IMAX.
And now, with all the different streaming opportunities, we see many more. With the world being as difficult as it is, I often use movies to escape. OK, I admit it. I turn to romantic comedies. They make me feel good when the news makes me feel bad. In fact, one of my favorites is Notting Hill. If it does not make you smile, you have no heart. And if you can watch The Princess Bride without humming the theme song, I give up.
I admit, I also like action movies and musicals and even superhero movies. Independent films (as long as they have happy endings, or at least endings leaving me with a sense of possibility, not feelings of doom and gloom) are a staple for the Viniar household.
Which brings me to the Thursday Murder Club. A British who-done-it movie. It opened on a limited basis in theaters and quickly went on Netflix. We of course watched it right away. It stars amazing seniors. Pierce Brosnan still cuts a fine figure, although he doesn’t look like James Bond anymore. But didn’t James Bond get older since Dr No sixty-three years ago? Helen Mirren as an actor makes any movie watchable. Am I allowed to say she certainly still has sex appeal? Jonathan Pryce, as her husband with dementia, goes in and out of memory loss, just like some of us. Ben Kingsley (who by the way was born Krishna Pandit Bhanji and is now a Quaker) will forever be Ghandi to me, has an amazing range as an actor, and embodies the wisdom of the ages. The last of the main players is Celia Imrie, another British actor about whom you will say, “Don’t I recognize her?” Yes, you probably do, as she was in the Exotic Marigold Hotel movies, Nanny McPhee, Calendar Girls, and was even Fighter Pilot Bravo One in Star Wars Episode I-the Phantom Menace.
They let some younger stars into the movie as well. Tom Ellis (Lucifer on TV) and David Tennant (Dr Who) were perhaps in the movie to help draw a younger audience. Well, I don’t think it worked. Today on Rotten Tomatoes, only 78% of the critics gave it a positive review. And the popcorn meter, the viewer reviews, only had 53% positive reviews. I really think too many young people (or not enough of us wise elders) have reviewed this movie. Because I thought it was delightful. Not the greatest film of the ages, but a delightful movie. Remember when we were pretentious enough to distinguish between movies and film? Ah… youth is indeed wasted on the young.
These senior characters are so relatable. They are clever and funny. They live in a retirement village. A beautiful one. In fact, the most beautiful retirement village I could imagine. And they are fighting to preserve their lifestyle when a developer wants to turn the land into luxury flats. They have activities galore, including the club that meets on Thursdays to solve cold cases. When a murder occurs that directly affects them, they go about solving it. They have memory issues, physical issues, confront the loss of friends and relatives and find ways to have meaning in their lives. They find young people to work with, who appreciate their experience, and the abilities that they continue to show. For me, these characters were familiar and inspirational. Watching the movie was like getting together with a good friend who can still surprise you, but not so much that it gives you heart palpitations.
The characters in this movie, and the actors who play them are role models for me. Living a life of purpose, with intrigue, gratefulness, and humor, is what I aspire to. If a movie helps me remember that I will go see it. Try it. You might be inspired. At least you might like it. If you do not, you can always watch The Princess Bride.
The post Old People at the Movies. Watching Old People in the Movies. My First Jewish Sacred Aging Movie Review. appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Rabbi Richard Address speaks with Rabbi Mark Novak, founder of MOSH, a unique online spiritual community that emerged during the COVID-19 pandemic. They discuss the evolution of MOSH, the challenges and successes of creating a virtual community, and the importance of pastoral care in a digital age. Rabbi Novak shares his personal journey from theater to rabbinical leadership, emphasizing the role of storytelling and community in spiritual growth. The conversation concludes with reflections on the future of American Judaism and the ongoing adaptation of religious practices.
Takeaways* MOSH stands for Minyan Oneg Shabbat, a spiritual community founded by Rabbi Mark Novak. * The community transitioned online during COVID-19, leading to significant growth and engagement. * Creating community involves giving people the opportunity to share their personal stories. * Rabbi Novak emphasizes the importance of being seen and heard in a virtual space. * Pastoral care is an integral part of the MOSH community, providing support to members in need. * Rabbi Novak has dedicated himself fully to MOSH, leaving behind other professional commitments. * The community operates on a freewill offering model, allowing for inclusivity without membership fees. * Rabbi Novak’s journey to becoming a rabbi was influenced by his background in theater and music. * The future of American Judaism may involve more online and hybrid models of community engagement. * Rabbi Novak seeks to mentor younger leaders to continue the work of MOSH and adapt to future needs.
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions.
Listen to the Audio PodcastYou can listen to the audio podcast version in the player below, or subscribe to the podcast in one of the popular platforms by clicking one of the buttons below the player.
- Apple Podcasts
- YouTube
- Spotify
- Podchaser
- Amazon Music About the GuestReb Mark NovakRabbi Mark Novak received ordination as a Rabbi and Mashpia Ruchani from AOP, and is the founding Rabbi of MInyan Oneg Shabbat, Washington, DC’s Jewish Renewal community. (MOSH) In addition to his work as a mashpia, he is a hazzan, musician, composer, storyteller (Jewishstorytelling.com), and playwright. Mark experiences the creative process as a conduit in his relationship with the Divine. R’ Mark has been described as a ba’al simcha, a master of joy, and he brings that G!d given gift to all his work. Together with his wife, storyteller/juggler Rene Brachfeld, R’Mark has served as Scholar/Artist in Residence at over 140 synagogues throughout the U/S and Canada.His project, A Year of Stories, is dedicated to the memory of Reb Zalman and can be found atwww.rebmarko.com. R’ Mark leads all ALEPH chaverim in number of websites!
The post Creating Virtual Communities: Rabbi Novak’s Zoom-agogue – Seekers of Meaning 10/3/2025 appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
“You are standing this day, all of you …” the opening of parsha Nitzavim, read just before Rosh Hashanah, is magnified when we are not only standing in a sacred moment, but when we are standing together in a sacred moment. Torah uses words sparingly, so when “all of you” reinforces the first “You,” this is really important. It begins in the literal sense, describing the breadth of physical people standing before Moses in his last address to the people.
It goes on to encompass those “not here today,” being even more inclusive and more open to interpretation. The examples in the parsha are as diverse as “…men and women, resident aliens, everyone from the woodchopper to the water drawers. (Task descriptors more relevant to the time of the writing of Torah).”
Rabbi Susan Elkodsi, writing for the Academy for Jewish Religion on September 16, 2025, points to the interpretation of Hizkuni (mid-13th Century France) that the woodchopper would have been a male servant and the water drawer would have been a female servant, all standing together.
Midrash might ask the question of how were all these diverse people standing? Were they apart by social distancing, or was it possible they could touch each other? What if they could?
When Rabbi Johanan visited the ailing Rabbi Chanina, all he had to say was the simple, “Give me your hand.” If visiting the sick can remove one-sixtieth of their discomfort, how much more so if permissible touching was more widely accepted?
In our age, way back in 1979, the Bell System adopted a famous advertising tagline, “Reach out and touch someone.” Nine years prior, in 1970, Diana Ross gifted us with, “Reach out and touch (Somebody’s hand).”
The slogan and the lyric worked because of the power that touch provides. What is our instinct when we meet a safe and friendly dog? We want to touch.
Dr. Leo Buscaglia (1924-1998), Professor-at-Large at the University of Southern California and motivational speaker featured on PBS television, promoted the concept of humanity’s need for hugs. He hypothesized that humanity needed five hugs to survive, eight to maintain, and 12 to thrive. Five hugs are needed just to survive. Dr. Buscaglia reflected on G-D’s creation of each leaf being different in the quote, “Imagine how proud he is of us if he goes to that much trouble for a simple leaf on a tree.”
Three researchers from Mount Royal University in Canada brought a Blackfoot First Nations creation story to life in a research project in which they joined hands together, outside on the campus, to form a human spider web.
Analyzing the emotions expressed by the participants, the professors concluded that the major emotions felt by 300 people holding hands included: awe, inspiration, happiness, and others. You can read more about this experiment in connectedness from holding hands in dailygood.org, August 29, 2025.
As a professional hospital chaplain, I am there at the moment family members are informed of a death. I am there to escort them out of the hospital when they are ready and convince me that they can drive safely. At the exit door, some whisper, “Thank you.” Some extend a hand. Some offer a spontaneous hug. Surely, touch can help at that moment. How many offer it? How many accept it? In 2023, U.S. Surgeon General Murthy published an advisory on the epidemic of loneliness and isolation. Dr Murthy labeled this epidemic the greatest public health challenge of our time. In that same year, 2023, the World Health Organization declared an end to the Covid pandemic. The mandated need for social distancing had passed.
About 20 years ago, Duke University established an Institute for Care at the End of Life, a joint venture of its Medical School and its Theology School. The first program was a day of Jewish perspectives, titled, “Magnified and Sanctified,” an excerpt from the Kaddish, here more so, the Kaddish Yatom, the mourner’s kaddish. I was honored to be a delegate at that first symposium, an unforgettable and extremely spiritual set of moment after moment, leading to a concealed final presentation. What was concealed? As the day ended, Rabbi Jack Riemer, a scholar dedicated to teaching about end-of-life and ethical wills, introduced Rabbi Kerry Olitsky. Rabbi Olitsky asked for the curtains to be opened, and introduced us to Debbie Friedman, alas, now of blessed memory.
Debbie Friedman had musicians with her and began with a few of her songs. Debbie then requested that we stand if we could, form large circles, hold each other’s hands, and let us be moved by her closing original song. It was set to a line in Psalm 126, “Those who sow in tears shall reap in joy.” I remember this in a way that sociologists call “flashbulb memories.”
Debbie wisely reflected on who we were and what we had shared that day. We were clergy, chaplains, doctors, cancer patients, and so much more. We swayed together, we held hands together, we touched, we cried. I gave my handkerchief to a crying cancer patient in front of me.
There is a powerful version of Debbie’s “Sow in Tears, Reap in Joy” from Park Avenue Synagogue in Manhattan from three years ago on YouTube. A mantra I offer many of my patients, and, especially their friends and relatives visiting them, is, “Tears are the lubricant of the soul.” There are multiple sources for that affirmation.
The confessionals in the High Holy Days liturgy, i.e., Ashamnu, Avinu Malkeinu, and the Al Chet, are all written in the plural. About 20 years ago, I was part of a temple that welcomed its new rabbi. He gave us what, for us, was a new minhag, a new community tradition. A moment before each Ashamnu, this new rabbi would ask us, if you were wearing a tallit and the person or persons next to you was not, offer to extend your tallit over their shoulders also, so we could all daven as one family, touching each other.
As 5786 begins, may it be a year when we offer our hands more to each other …literally.
Ken yehi ratzon, so may this be G-d’s will.
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From Simcha Paull Raphael, Musings with the Angel of Death: Poems of Love, Life and Longing (Albion-Andalus, 2024)
In the crisp autumn air I went to say
Yizkor prayers today
One of those holy days
Four times a year
We gather in community
Mourners threaded by
Memories of heart and mind
A direct line to loved ones
In the world beyond.
Four times a year
Ever since the Crusades
When mega-death
Demanded memorialization
Jews have said Yizkor
Remembrance
To honor, remember, elevate
Souls of dead loved ones.
It was fascinating
As I looked around the room
The synagogue was packed
Death, after all is said and done Is a popular attraction
Yet to my surprise
Through the vision of my eyes
There was hardly
An adult in the room
Those saying Yizkor for parents I saw on their faces
Pain and love
Of little boys and girls
Lost, lonely
Crying for Mommys and Daddys
Those remembering dead brothers and sisters
They too were pained children
A little brother
Reaching for his older sister’s hand
A little girl, standing next to her sister
Both of them wondering why
Their little brother died
And even that man
Saying Yizkor for his dead wife
For a brief moment
Looked like a lost child
Unsure if someone
Will ever be there
To light the way
So many children
Being cleansed by their tears.
In an instantaneous moment
Of infinite time
Something changed
Reciting the “el maleh rachamim” In mournful dirge
Suddenly the windows opened
Souls ancient, eternal, transcendent
Seemed to stream into the space
Visible on everyone’s face
Each lost child
Seemed to be comforted
Through soul’s presence
Our prayers invited
A heavenly congregation
Of wondrous, watching, wise beings
Ancestral guides
Mommys, Daddys
Bubbys, Zaydes from the other side
Loved ones who walk with us
Day and night
Easing pain, loneliness and fright
And somehow in the afterglow
Of so many souls
Beckoned and present
As our praying moments
Softly came to an end
Each face, man, woman and child
Looked a little older
A little wiser
Deepened in the interior channels
Of heart and soul
Walking with dignity
The mourners path
Of our ancient sages
Deepened in knowing
Death and loss
Come what may
Are truly and evermore
Interwoven into
The mystery and the enigma
Of being alive
Of being human.
The post Yizkor Vision appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
I was four years old, and I remember it as clearly as if it were yesterday. My grandmother, my brother, and I were walking to the market on a beautiful, clear day. As we passed through the park, a bird’s chirp caught my ear. Looking up, I saw its small form against the vast, blue sky. And then I noticed my grandmother’s lips were moving.
Curiosity, a constant companion of childhood, led me to ask if she was trying to talk to the bird. She smiled, a gentle warmth in her eyes. “No, mamala,” she said,in her broken English, “I’m thanking God for this beautiful day. Look at the sky, the trees, the birds. God gave this to us, and I am thanking Him.” I understood the concept of prayer, having learned the Modeh Ani and the blessing for bread from her when I was very young. But this was different—a quiet, spontaneous gratitude for the world around us.
Decades passed. Now in my 40s, I found myself sitting in Shabbat services, perusing the Siddur. I came upon a section listing blessings for all occasions and, to my surprise, found specific prayers for thunder, rain, sunshine, and rainbows. In that moment, it all clicked. My grandmother’s moving lips, so often seen but not understood, were her silent prayers, her way of thanking Hashem for all His wonders.
Years later, when my dear aunt Helen passed away, she left me a copy of a book my great-grandfather had written. His name was Jonah Ben Dov Zwickel, my grandmother’s father. He came to America in the 1880s with my grandmother and her sister after his wife had passed away. His book, titled “Yedid Nefesh”—Hebrew for “Beloved of the Soul”—was a Yiddish translation of Perek Shira. I didn’t know why he chose that particular text until I read it. The words echoed my grandmother’s simple faith: all living things pray to God. The animals, the trees, the sky, the stars—everything offers praise to Hashem.
Perek Shira, the “Chapter of Song,” is an ancient text that teaches that every element of creation, from the smallest insect to the celestial bodies, has a spiritual lesson and a song of praise. Each has a special melody, and when they are all sung together, they create a magnificent symphony of praise to the Creator.
I have always been a nature lover. I grew up in the mountains, surrounded by trees, hills, flowers, and animals. Nature has always been my happy place. I also love to sing. Now I understand that these two loves are deeply connected. I can add my voice to the beautiful symphony of nature and praise Hashem, just as my grandmother did on that clear day, and just as my great-grandfather taught in his book. It is a family legacy of gratitude, woven into the very fabric of who I am.
The post Yedid Nefesh — “Beloved of the Soul” appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Rabbi Address engages Rabbi Jeff Salkin in a profound discussion about the essence of prayer, the structure of his new book Inviting God In: A Guide to Jewish Prayer, and the evolving nature of Jewish worship. They explore the significance of gratitude in prayer, the challenges faced by modern worshippers, and the need for a deeper understanding of Jewish liturgy. The conversation also touches on the importance of Jewish education, the survival of the Jewish narrative, and the role of technology in worship. Salkin emphasizes the necessity of teaching young people the language of prayer and the importance of creating a meaningful connection to their Jewish identity.
About the BookInviting God In: A Guide to Jewish Prayer is an engaging and insightful commentary on the Shabbat evening and morning services by Rabbi Jeffrey K. Salkin, the author of Putting God on the Guest List. Designed for students of all ages, from bet mitzvah to adulthood, the book’s relatable tone and discussion questions meaningfully engage readers in the worship service they are leading or attending. Rabbi Salkin breaks down each prayer and ritual, helping learners connect to the service with fresh insight and knowledge. With a blend of humor and depth, Inviting God In shows how the ancient words of prayer still speak to the challenges and joys of contemporary life.
Purchase at CCAR Press
Purchase at Amazon.com
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions.
Listen to the Audio PodcastYou can listen to the audio podcast version in the player below, or subscribe to the podcast in one of the popular platforms by clicking one of the buttons below the player.
- Apple Podcasts
- YouTube
- Spotify
- Podchaser
- Amazon Music About the GuestRabbi Jeffrey SalkinRabbi Jeffrey Salkin is one of American Judaism’s most prolific rabbis — described as “courageous,” “always relevant,” and “one of American Judaism’s true public intellectuals.”
Rabbi Jeffrey Salkin is the co-founder and co-director of Wisdom Without Walls: an online salon for Jewish ideas. The author of twelve books, his most recent book is Inviting God In: A Guide to Jewish Prayer (CCAR Press).
His column, “Martini Judaism: for those who want to be shaken and stirred,” published by the Religion News Service, has won several Wilbur awards for best religion column of the year. “Martini Judaism” also appears as a podcast. He delivered the keynote on spirituality at the Chautauqua Institution, and has participated in interreligious dialogue with Christian and Muslim religious leaders.
His essays have appeared in the Washington Post, Commentary, the Wall Street Journal, Tablet, Forward, and JTA. He has appeared on CNN and the BBC. He has contributed to scholarly volumes and encyclopedias. His eleven books have inspired vigorous conversations on such subjects as Jewish identity and culture, Israel, and gender, and he has written three Torah commentaries.
His new book is Tikkun Ha’Am: Repairing Our People – Israel and the Crisis of Liberal Judaism. Rabbi David Wolpe of Los Angeles has said of the book: “Tikkun Ha’am” proves once again that Rabbi Jeffrey Salkin is among the wisest observers of our society and our souls — a Rabbi who writes with humor, depth and clarity.” He is currently writing a book for the Reform movement — a commentary for teens on Shabbat liturgy.
Rabbi Salkin lives in West Palm Beach, Florida, and devotes his time to writing, biking, his friends and family, and consuming vast quantities of coffee.
The post Inviting God In: Insights from Rabbi Salkin – Seekers of Meaning 9/26/2025 appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Rabbi Richard Address engages with Rabbis Lindsey Danziger and Ben David to discuss their book, The Sacred Struggle: Jewish Responses to Trauma.
They explore the concept of trauma within the Jewish tradition, emphasizing the sacredness of personal stories and the importance of community support. The conversation delves into the role of liturgy in coping with trauma, the distinction between personal and communal trauma, and the impact of modern isolation. The rabbis offer insights and advice for those struggling with trauma, highlighting the importance of connection and resilience.
About the BookHow do we find the strength to continue when dealing with traumatic experiences? The Sacred Struggle: Jewish Responses to Trauma is a powerful anthology of personal stories, offering a deeply moving exploration of how Jewish wisdom can help us navigate life’s most difficult moments. With stories including enduring the loss of a child, losing a loved one to suicide, surviving sexual assault, responding to a diagnosis of cancer, experiencing antisemitism and racism, and many more, this volume is rooted in vulnerability and resilience, revealing the profound ways Judaism offers tools for reflection, connection, and healing. Edited by Rabbi Lindsey Danziger and Rabbi Benjamin David, with a foreword by Rabbi Charlie Cytron-Walker, The Sacred Struggle is a companion for anyone seeking comfort and hope in the face of trauma.
In this book you will find the genuine voices of life as it is lived-in pain, with struggle, and offering the wisdom to endure and prevail. A work of great range, it is a bracing book, an important book, and a gift to all of us.
–Rabbi David Wolpe, author of Making Loss Matter: Creating Meaning in Difficult Times
Who among us has not been touched by trauma? Violence? Natural disaster? Illness? Marginalization? Family dysfunction? In this challenging and thought provoking
book, rabbis reflect on the Torah of their lives, as well as the Torah of tradition, to give us insight into the ways we are all affected by trauma and the
many different paths to healing.
–Rabbi Laura Geller, coauthor of Moments That Matter: Marking Transitions in Midlife and Beyond
Trauma may shatter us. It doesn’t have to end us. … There is a way forward. I pray that this volume can be a source of strength for you.
– From the foreword by Rabbi Charlie Cytron-Walker, PhD, Temple Emanuel, Winston-Salem, NC
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions.
Listen to the Audio PodcastYou can listen to the audio podcast version in the player below, or subscribe to the podcast in one of the popular platforms by clicking one of the buttons below the player.
- Apple Podcasts
- YouTube
- Spotify
- Podchaser
- Amazon Music About the GuestsRabbi Lindsey DanzigerRabbi Lindsey Danziger is Director of Campaigns at the Religious Action Center for Reform Judaism. She guides synagogues and clergy across the country in their work to organize and mobilize for justice. She is also an adjunct professor at Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion, where she teaches Community Organizing. She was ordained there in 2017 and also received a master’s degree in Religious Education. She is a member of the Nashville Jewish Federation Board of Directors, the Akiva School, and the Aspen Institute Collective on Racial Justice and Religion – a national advisory council of faith leaders creating anti-racist religious spaces. Rabbi Danziger resides in Nashville, TN, with her husband, Rabbi Michael Danziger, and their three children – Ben, Aviva, and Noa. She loves serving on faculty at URJ Jacobs Camp in Utica, MS.
Rabbi Benjamin P. DavidRabbi Benjamin P. David was born in Philadelphia, PA and raised in Cherry Hill, NJ. He is the son of Rabbi Jerome and Peggy David. He attended Cherry Hill High School East and Muhlenberg College, where he majored in English Literature. In 1999, he graduated Magna Cum Laude and was elected to Phi Beta Kappa. In 2004, he was ordained by the Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion in New York City. While in rabbinic school, he served numerous congregations, including Kol Hanishama of Jerusalem, Temple Beth Am of Monessen, PA and Temple Shaaray Tefila of Manhattan. He also served as an intern at the Jewish Guild for the Blind and the Makor Steinhardt Center. He received numerous awards in the field of Talmud and Hebrew Literature and was the co-founder of Davar Aher, a student review. From 2005-2012, he served as assistant and associate rabbi at Temple Sinai of Roslyn, working closely with youth and teens, overseeing the Hebrew High School program, officiating at lifecycle events, teaching broadly, and helping to further develop the congregation’s social action, community organizing, and interfaith programs. Prior to joining KI, Rabbi David served as senior Rabbi of congregation Adath Emanu-El in Mount Laurel, New Jersey from 2012-2022.
Since arriving at KI in July of 2022, Rabbi David has introduced Talmud to the congregation through interactive classes and sessions. He works closely with our youth and teen communities, leading the Confirmation and post-Confirmation programs in ways that are upbeat, fun and meaningful. He has led trips to Israel, Washington, DC and the south. He works closely with our religious practices, social justice and Israel committees and loves leading Shabbat morning Torah study. He is active in Interfaith Philadelphia and part of the leadership of RAC-PA, the Pennsylvania arm of the Religious Action Center for Reform Judaism. He is a certified chaplain for SCI Phoenix Prison (formerly Graterford). In addition to supporting our congregants in all phases of life, he loves working with the KI professional staff.
A competitive distance runner, he has completed 20 marathons including the Boston Marathon twice and the NYC Marathon four times. He is a co-founder of the Running Rabbis, a social justice initiative that works with clergy worldwide to run and walk in the name of worthy causes.
Rabbi David is a past President of the Tri-County Board of Rabbis, serving New Jersey’s Burlington, Camden, and Gloucester counties.
He is married to Lisa David, the Director of Camp Harlam. They also met at Camp Harlam, where they both spent time as campers, counselors, and supervisors. They have three children: Noa, Elijah, and Samuel.
The post Navigating Trauma Through Jewish Wisdom: Seekers of Meaning 9/19/2025 appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
As we approach the High Holidays, we reflect on the continuity of our Judaism and how it acts as a binding thread that keeps us familiar with the reasons we celebrate these sacred days over and over and over again.
Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur are not only annual observances but rituals that connect generations of Jewish life in its rhythm, its beauty, its history and its spiritual humility. No matter how fragmented the world, families, ideologies and relationships are, the liturgy gives us hope for renewal, better days and improved selves as we remember the nuances that keep Jews united.
My High Holiday message this year is one of going off track because our lives seem to be so serious and worrisome that we need some levity to stray from the obviousness of the Days of Awe to a road less traveled while we celebrate those subtleties/nuances that keep our Landsman/Mishpocha together!
We all know that between the late 19th and early 20th centuries, millions of Ashkenazi Jews immigrated to the U.S., especially to New York City, for reasons we are all familiar with. Most of our families were on those boats, all with stories to tell, primarily in Yiddish, which was their main spoken language. One that thrived in the dense neighborhoods, schools, theaters, newspapers and radio and created a living and influential language in the very heart of American culture.
Yiddish is a fusion language and was developed among the Ashkenazi Jews with its core in medieval Germany and derived from the Middle High German, 10th century. It also absorbed many Aramaic and Hebrew words for religious, ethical and cultural concepts. As Jews migrated eastward to Poland, Ukraine and Russia, Slavic words, sounds and grammatical patterns were integrated.
So many of us baby boomers grew up all over America with the sounds of Yiddish in our homes, whether we understood what was being said or not, because many families were households of two generations under one roof or living upstairs or downstairs, or very close bye. As a kid, how many remember entering a room hearing, “Shah! The kinder!” “Be quiet, the kids! That was our cue that something was being discussed we should not know about!
I grew up in Los Angeles, in the Boyle Heights neighborhood that was considered the Brooklyn of California. My father owned a business on the main street, Brooklyn Avenue, as it was the home of so many Jewish transplants. We were surrounded by Hispanics, Blacks and Asians that created a wonderful mixture of cultures, foods, traditions and languages.
One unique quality was that we all shared our quintessential phrases that invited all of us to be part of a rich and vibrant melting pot. So, when I remember the Asian woman, who owned the dry-cleaning store, yelling at the Jewish butcher, “You meshugena, go get your shirts ironed somewhere else!” it still warms my heart today! I loved when the owner of the Mexican restaurant would bring my dad burritos or hot tortillas out of the oven and a few days later my dad would bring him Bubbe’s blintzes and fresh-made challah! Have you ever seen a Black street band singing and dancing to the Hora? Those were the days!
Yiddish words are continually ingrained in our culture because they possess not just meaning but a tone, either of humor, warmth, playfulness, praising, irony or exasperation, in a way that plain English words often don’t! Hearing Yiddish often brings us home to the essence of our past, to people, to aromas, to laughter and even shraying, and hopefully, to Days of Awe.
Let’s celebrate these High Holidays with a reverie of nostalgia taking us back to the days of memorable faces, voices, smells, traditions and love.
Here is a short list of Yiddish words and expressions that are still very alive in English today, along with the emotional flavor they tend to season us with.
Shalom: This quintessential Jewish greeting has many meanings: hello, goodbye and peace. “Shalom” is derived from the Hebrew root shalem, or complete. Shalom denotes completeness, a state of being whole.
Tchotchke: A souvenir, knick-knack, a trinket or small decorative object that is not expensive, with little use but meaningful and fun to look at. Some people may see them as useless, while others love their sentimental value.
Oy Vey: An all-purpose sigh or groan; conveys exasperation, weariness or being overwhelmed
Mensch: Praise for someone decent, kind and honorable, warm and respectful
Mishpocha: Family, relatives, close-knit group, including not only blood relatives but in-laws, very close friends, anyone considered family
Kvetch: To complain or a complainer; tinged with humor and mild annoyance
Schlep: To drag or carry something (or yourself) with effort; conveys burden or inconvenience
Chutzpah: Audacity, boldness (positive or negative depending on tone); admiration mixed with disbelief
Gezundheit: The common custom of saying “bless you” when someone sneezes has surprising Jewish origins with its background in German and meaning good health.
Schmooze: To chat socially, often with a bit of charm or flattery; friendly, ingratiating
Nosh: To snack; casual, affectionate, homey feeling
Schmutz: A little dirt, smudge, or mess; usually said with affection or mock irritation
Here’s a handful of the more colorful, less formal Yiddish words that made it into English. Many are sharp, biting, cutting, funny, but can sting if used seriously:
Shraying: To yell or shout, scream, to cry out
Sha!: Be quiet, be still, hush
Schmuck: Literally meaning “jewel” but used as “jerk” or “idiot,” dismissive and cutting
Putz: Similar to schmuck, an insulting word for a fool or contemptible person; a bit harsher
Klutz: A clumsy person; usually playful, but can be embarrassing if meant seriously
Nebbish: A timid, ineffectual, pitiful person; conveys pity more than anger
Schmo: A dope, an ordinary or unlucky fool; often mild and comic
Yutz: A simpleton, someone stupid or gullible; mocking but not vicious
Meshugge/Meshugena: Crazy, or a crazy person; can be affectionate (“you’re meshugge!”) or harsh
Goy: Considered to be an offensive term (and consequently avoided) by many today, the word “goy” literally means a nation. (The plural is “goyim”, or nations.)
Yiddish words carry a lot of emotional shading, as they can be funny insults among friends, or sharp put-downs if spoken in anger while depending on who said them and how they are said. That dual edge, humor plus bite, is part of why they’ve lasted. The beauty of Yiddish is that many of these words can soften or sharpen depending on delivery and if said with a wink, they’re funny and if said with venom, they cut.
Why Yiddish words have prevailed in both history and culture is because they are emotional expressions that remain prevalent in everyday English, especially American English, for several intertwined reasons:
Emotional Directness: Yiddish excels at expressing feelings: Complaint, humor, exasperation, affection, in vivid, memorable ways. Words like kvetch (complain), schlep (drag, carry), chutzpah (nerve, audacity), oy vey (woe!), or mensch (a good, decent person) capture emotional nuance that English doesn’t always convey as compactly. Once people encounter them, they tend to stick. What’s special is that tone of voice can slide a word along the spectrum. For example, meshugge can be a warm “you’re silly!” with a smile, or a sharp “you’re nuts!” with scorn.
Influence of Entertainment: Vaudeville, Broadway, the Borscht Belt comedians, Hollywood, and later TV (think Sid Caesar, Mel Brooks, Joan Rivers, Seinfeld) brought Yiddishisms into the mainstream. Comedians especially leaned on Yiddish for comic timing and emotional punch, so the words spread beyond Jewish audiences. In short: Yiddish words stuck because they weren’t just translations, they performed emotion in ways English words didn’t.
Identity and Warmth: Even outside Jewish communities, Yiddish expressions often carry a sense of warmth, humor, and humanity. Saying someone has chutzpah or is a real mensch adds color and a kind of cultural wink that plain English doesn’t give.
Stickiness of Language: Languages tend to borrow words when they fill a gap. Just as English adopted kindergarten from German, sushi from Japanese, and déjà vu from French, it has held on to Yiddish words that provide emotional resonance. Once they enter slang and pop culture, they can last for generations.
Temperature of Words: English often leans toward the neutral or polite in everyday vocabulary. Words like complain or fool are accurate but flat. Yiddish, on the other hand, evolved as a spoken folk language where words carried humor, irony, and emotional charge right in their sound (kvetch, schlep, oy). That gave them a dramatic punch English equivalents lacked.
Sound and Rhythm: Yiddish words are onomatopoetic in feel, the way they sound mirrors the feeling. English words like complain, carry, or alas don’t embody the emotion in the same way.
Kvetch sounds like a grumble
Schlep sounds heavy and dragged out
Oy Vey literally makes you sigh
Cultural Use of Humor and Exaggeration: In Yiddish, even insults are often delivered with a wink, mixing affection with mockery. Calling someone a klutz or meshugge can be teasing, not cruel. English insults tend to be either mild (silly) or harsh (idiot), with less room for playful middle ground.
Nuance in Social Bonds: Yiddish was shaped in tight-knit communities where words doubled as emotional shorthand for warmth, criticism, irony, and love that could be wrapped in one expression. English didn’t have ready-made words that carried that layered tone. So, when English speakers heard Yiddish words, they adopted them because they filled a gap: one word doing the work of several.
As we usher in 5786, may we all share a world of peace, a coming together, health, love and joy and be Inscribed in the Book of Life.
As Baby Boomers, may we pass on the Legacy of Yiddishkeit to the younger generations so the thread of Jewish Life continues over and over and over again.
L’shana tovah,
Sandy
The post The Chutzpah, the Nosh and the Oy Veys of Celebrating 5786! appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Rabbi Address explores the intersection of Mussar, a Jewish ethical tradition, and recovery from addiction. Rabbi Harvey Winokur and Hannah L discuss their book Mussar in Recovery, which aligns the principles of Mussar with the 12-step recovery program.
They delve into the importance of community, the concept of a higher power, and the process of making amends, particularly in the context of the Jewish high holidays. The discussion emphasizes that recovery is a personal journey and that Mussar provides tools for self-awareness and balance in character traits.
Mussar in Recovery is a transformative guide that weaves together timeless wisdom of Jewish ethical teachings with the Twelve Steps, bringing a dynamic Jewish voice to the recovery journey. At its core is Mussar – a centuries-old Jewish tradition that provides practical tools to help individuals create meaningful lives by cultivating the inner traits that align with becoming our best selves.
In this creative and inspiring work, Hannah L. and her teacher overlay Mussar’s gentle wisdom and practices on the 12 Steps. Making this Jewish Sage wisdom accessible, Mussar In Recovery offers clear, actionable practices – ranging from self-reflective exercises to guided daily reminders – that are a blueprint for breaking free from the cycle of addiction and other expressions of our “stinking thinking”. Complemented by her personal experience and spiritual insights, Hannah gives readers a path to realizing their potential for beauty and greatness.
Perfect for any seeker on a path toward recovery and personal growth, Mussar in Recovery offers a compassionate roadmap to healing and wholeness. Embrace the opportunity to blend spiritual depth with practical change and find renewed serenity and joy as you embark on a journey that honors both your heritage and your future.
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions.
Listen to the Audio PodcastYou can listen to the audio podcast version in the player below, or subscribe to the podcast in one of the popular platforms by clicking one of the buttons below the player.
- Apple Podcasts
- YouTube
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- Amazon Music About the GuestsHannah L.Hannah L. is a student and facilitator of the Mussar tradition who draws on 12+ years of learning and living the Twelve Steps and Mussar to reveal the transformative power of these synergistic paths for personal growth. A scientist, inventor, innovator, and explorer, she blends curiosity and creativity with heartfelt faith. As a mother and grandmother, friend and mentor, Hannah lives with purpose — guided by the twin blueprints of Mussar and recovery. Her journey is one of seeking and finding serenity, joy, and daily renewal —becoming her best self in a world full of the unpredictable. Through courageous storytelling rooted in personal experience and spiritual insight, Hannah offers readers practical wisdom, an actionable toolkit, and a guided pathway to their own healing and wholeness.
Rabbi Harvey J. WinokurRabbi Harvey J. Winokur was ordained at the Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion (Cincinnati). A native of New York, he had the privilege of serving two congregations in Atlanta, Georgia before founding Temple Kehillat Chaim in Roswell, Georgia in 1982. After leading TKC for thirty-six years, he retired and became Emeritus in 2018. Recently, Rabbi Winokur became the spiritual leader for the small Jewish community of Temple B’nai Israel in Albany, Georgia. He is a certified Spiritual Director and a Trainer-Facilitator for The Mussar Institute.
He was introduced to mussar during his spiritual direction training. But it wasn’t until the Mussar Institute and the Central Conference of American Rabbis offered the opportunity to become mussar facilitators that he immersed himself in the study of mussar. He currently facilitates several vaads and has created curriculum material relating middot (soul traits) to the Haftaraot and to Jewish liturgy.
Rabbi Winokur currently resides in Roswell, Georgia
The post Mussar and Recovery: A Path to Healing – Seekers of Meaning 9/12/2025 appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
Much of the commentary on Ki Tavo focuses on the blessings and curses — what will happen if the Israelites follow the mitzvot, and what will happen if they do not. Moses repeatedly warns the people of severe punishment should they break their covenant with God. But our lives already contain enough severity. So, today, let’s take note of two other themes in this portion: listening and joy. Together, they offer a path to deeper peace and greater fulfillment.
In this week’s parsha, Moshe declares: Hasket u-shema Yisrael — “Be silent and listen, Israel. You have now become the people of the Lord your God” (Deut. 27:9). Note: silence comes before listening. To really hear, we must quiet our own noise. Only in that stillness can we recognize God’s presence and hear one another with clarity. No wonder the root sh-m-a — to listen — appears nearly one hundred times in Devarim. For Moses, listening is not a small virtue; it is the foundation of covenantal life.
Listening, however, has become increasingly difficult in our world. Post-Covid, many of us remain in silos, engaging mostly with those who think as we do. Technology demands our constant attention, pulling us away from the people and experiences right before us. Aging often shrinks our circles of connection. The result can be isolation. And yet isolation is precisely what the Torah warns against. To live meaningfully, we must resist the temptation of distraction and separateness and instead cultivate the discipline of listening.
Rabbi Jonathan Sacks put it beautifully: “Listening opens us to God, our fellow humans, and the beauties of nature. Faith itself is the ability to hear the music beneath the noise.” Listening is not passive. It is an act of faith, requiring focus, humility, and openness. And when we practice it — when we truly listen — we discover something surprising: joy.
Ki Tavo itself makes this connection explicit. It teaches that curses will come “because you did not serve the Lord your God with joy and gladness of heart, out of the abundance of all things” (Deut. 28:47). The Torah here insists that joy is not an optional extra. It is at the core of religious life. Joy does not erase hardship or deny pain. Instead, it allows us to recognize the blessings that exist in this moment: the gift of life, the presence of community, the beauty of creation. Joy comes when we practice gratitude, when we notice what is good even amid uncertainty. To live with joy is to refuse to let fear or loss define us.
When we bring these two themes together, we see their power. Listening opens us to the voices of others and to the voice of God. Joy gives us the strength to carry hope even when the future is unclear. As Rabbi Sacks wrote: “A people that can know insecurity and still feel joy is one that can never be defeated, for its spirit can never be broken nor its hope destroyed.”
The blessings and curses of Ki Tavo remind us that the covenant is serious, but its heart is not fear — it is relationship. By cultivating the practice of listening, and by embracing the discipline of joy, we shape lives of meaning. We build communities sustained not by severity, but by gratitude, connection, and hope.
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On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Rabbi Address chats with Steve Lubetkin, producer of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast and a veteran technology journalist.
In a world where technology evolves at a breakneck pace, understanding its impact on different generations is crucial. The conversation delved into how technology affects multi-generational cohorts, particularly older adults, and the challenges and opportunities it presents.
Lubetkin highlighted the diverse needs and comfort levels with technology across different age groups.
Editor’s Note: In the fall issue of Senior Style Magazine published by the Jewish Community Voice of Southern New Jersey, Steve will be writing about common questions seniors have about technology. If you have a question about technology that Steve can explore in his article, email him at steve@lubetk.in.
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions.
Listen to the Audio PodcastYou can listen to the audio podcast version in the player below, or subscribe to the podcast in one of the popular platforms by clicking one of the buttons below the player.
- Apple Podcasts
- YouTube
- Spotify
- Podchaser
- Amazon Music About the GuestSteve LubetkinSteve Lubetkin is the producer of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast and manages the website JewishSacredAging.com for Rabbi Richard Address.
Since 2005 he has been the managing partner of The Lubetkin Media Companies LLC, one of the first professional podcast production companies. It is the umbrella organization for several digital content production divisions: Professional Podcasts, which produces audio and video content for distribution as podcasts over the Internet; StateBroadcastNews.com, a contract news-gathering organization producing broadcast quality news coverage at the state and local level; and Steve Lubetkin Photography, which produces corporate photojournalism, event and lifestyle photography and videography.
Steve has been the computer columnist for the Jewish Community Voice of Southern New Jersey since 1996.
Steve is a seasoned technology futurist. He has included an email address on his business card since 1988.
As a music reviewer, he was one of the first print journalists to use a portable computer to cover a Grateful Dead rock concert — in 1977.
Steve is co-author, with Toronto-based podcasting pioneer Donna Papacosta, of the book, The Business of Podcasting: How to Take Your Podcasting Passion from the Personal to the Professional.
He and his wife Judy live in Cherry Hill. They have two daughters and sons-in-law, and one brilliant grandson.
The post Impact of technology on older adults, with technology journalist and podcaster Steve Lubetkin – Seekers of Meaning 9/5/2025 appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
Ki Tetze is another fascinating portion, one in which we see the outlines of a social order rooted in affiliation and adherence to God’s words. Now there are several verses that will raise the ire of many a Torah study student this week. There are several classic examples of ethical action and inaction that may challenge much of our modern morality. Among the verses that, to me, are of great importance are the verses from 22:1-3. The context is that if one sees someone’s ox or sheep that has gone missing, you cannot ignore it. Indeed, the charge in 22.2 is that you “shall give it back/return it to him” (v’ha’shavotah lo). Indeed, the next verse undescores this when it reminds us again that we are not allowed to ignore this charge (lo toochal l’hit’ah’leim)
Now these verses have been used as a key proof text by Maimonides to allow for the practice of medicine. If one is sick, one has lost heath and thus the interpretation goes that it is incumbent for that health to be returned by the doctor. But we can expand what has been lost in many different ways. We are living now in the midst of a moment in time where much has been lost. SO much of what we had taken for granted has been lost, from the casual and normal personal interactions, to communal gatherings to more formal types of interactions. So, the question, from our portion, is how do we restore that which has been lost?
We all know the health guidelines and hopefully we follow them, for to not follow them is also a violation of Jewish ethics that holds the preservation and sanctity of human life as a high ideal. The isolation has also caused us to lose a sense of our common good. We have lost a sense of civility and respect. I think many of our generation watch in sadness the daily polarization of our society, the silo-type activities that are so pervasive. How did we lose the basic sense of humanity and respect for others? The portion also speaks to the respect due to the stranger, because, as are constantly reminded, we “were strangers in Egypt”. (25:17ff). We have lost in so many ways the basic ability to speak to and with each other. We have lost a sense of commonality and shared humanity on a shared planet. Our task is to find a way to restore this to our community. To ignore these realities is to further drive wedges between us all, and in that, society and each of us becomes lost.
Shabbat shalom
Rabbi Richard F Address
The post Ki Tetze (Deuteronomy 21:10-25:19) — How and what shall we restore? appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
As Labor Day weekend approaches, I can’t help but drift back to those golden days of the 1950s and ’60s, when that long weekend was more than just a holiday — it was a turning point in the rhythm of life for my family, my friends, and the whole little town of Ellenville, New York, in the heart of the Borscht Belt
For us locals, it was the exhale after a summer lived at full tilt. The once-bustling streets — crowded with tourists in sun hats, campers and summer workers — began to quiet. Storefronts that had hummed with constant chatter could finally breathe again. Restaurants and movie theaters that were open until midnight, returned to their normal schedules. My parents, owned a kosher butcher shop, worked long hours during those busy months, supplying the endless appetites of hotels, camps, and bungalow colonies. By the time Labor Day rolled around, they could finally ease the long work days and start dreaming about their winter escape to Florida.
For my brother and me, the holiday marked the bittersweet pivot from our summer jobs and vacation fun to seeing our old friends and returning to a routine. School always started the very next morning — as if the summer were swept away overnight. And while I welcomed the return to my other life, saying goodbye to my summer friends always left a lot of sadness.
Catskills summers were filled with sunbathing, swimming, making new friends and boyfriends at our summer jobs and living life to its fullest in our teens. Those two months gave us a totally different kind of life experience. I feel lucky to have had these very different experiences. I did try to keep in touch with some city friends. But, it those days there were no emails or text messages — just the long wait until June to pick up where we’d left off.
For the Bungalow Bunnies, of which many of my city family were, the days just before Labor Day were a whirlwind in the bungalow colonies. Everyone bustled about, folding lawn chairs, packing away dishes, wrapping up linens and other items to be used the following summer. Those who wouldn’t return the next year loaded their station wagons to the brim — boxes and suitcases stacked so high you could hardly see out the back window. The long trip home down Route 17 was bumper-to-bumper for miles, but everyone carried a little piece of mountain air back with them, tucked into their memories. Groups of tearful people would gather and say their final goodbyes and exchange contact information to stay in touch. Everyone knew the city might still be sweltering, but they had their memories and their summer in the Catskills to hold them over until next year.
As renters left, bungalow owners shifted into another kind of work — hammering loose shutters, painting trim, draining the pool, boarding up windows, and buttoning up the “casino” and recreation halls to protect them against the coming winter months.
The year-round hotels stayed lively through the holiday, booking big-name headliners for their final summer hurrah. But when the lights went down on that last Labor Day show, even they turned to fixing, painting, and preparing for the quiet months. Our local friends who worked at the hotels or camps had to say their sad goodbyes to co-workers and friends who shared many good times and long workdays together. Some of our friends returned to the City to finish high school and continue college, having earned a decent amount of money to pay tuition or perhaps enough to buy a car. Counselors, waiters, bellhops, busboys, and clerks — who wanted to keep working would head to the few resorts opened year-round, hoping for a weekend shift to carry them through the winter. While other locals remained full time workers.
I imagine people from Maine, Cape Cod to the Berkshires, from the shores of Michigan to the sands of the Carolinas, know this same mixture of relief and melancholy.
In the Catskills, summer was neatly framed by two solemn, significant American holidays — opening on Memorial Day, in honor of those who gave their lives for our country, and closing on Labor Day, a celebration of the workers whose efforts keep our country running. Between those bookends stretched a season of laughter, summer songs, first loves, first kisses, bunk buddies, color wars, friendships, jukeboxes and mountain breezes — a season that lives on in my heart, no matter how many years have passed.
What a memory! What a country!
Update: Thelast weekend in July, I made my way to Ellenville for the Annual Borscht Belt Weekend. Driving down from Rochester, I passed through towns like Monticello, Fallsburg, and Woodbourne — once vibrant in the heyday of the Catskills, then quiet for so many decades. To my delight, they’re bustling again, with Orthodox Jewish families, many kosher supermarkets and shops lining the streets and people everywhere.
What really brought a smile to my face was seeing the old bungalow colonies alive once more. Children playing ball on the lawns, adults gathered in conversation, and station wagons vans and school buses filled the driveways — scenes straight out of another era, yet happening now.
Just a short two-hour drive from New York City and New Jersey, the Catskills still offer nature’s best: crisp air, warm sunshine, rolling green fields, and mountain views that take your breath away. Whether families are here just for the weekend or settling in for the summer, one thing is clear — the revival of the Catskills has truly begun.
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On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Dr. Joy Zelikovsky founder and director of NourishTheHeartCounseling.com discusses the complexities of eating disorders, body image, and their impact on individuals and families. She emphasizes the importance of understanding cultural influences, the role of social media, and the need for a broader definition of health that goes beyond weight.
The discussion also highlights the challenges faced by different demographics, including men and older adults, in relation to eating disorders. Dr. Zelikovsky provides insights into recognizing warning signs and offers advice for parents and grandparents concerned about their loved ones’ eating behaviors.
Dr. Zelikovsky is sponsoring a conference this fall for Jewish eating disorder professionals. More information is available at https://www.jewisheatingdisorderprofessionalsconference.org/
Takeaways* Eating disorders can affect individuals of all ages, not just adolescents. * Cultural factors play a significant role in shaping body image and eating behaviors. * Social media perpetuates unrealistic body standards and can impact mental health. * Eating disorders are often linked with other mental health issues like anxiety and depression. * There is a strong genetic predisposition to eating disorders, but environmental factors also contribute. * Men are often underdiagnosed for eating disorders due to societal perceptions. * The concept of health should not be solely based on weight; other factors are crucial. * Cultural traditions, especially those involving food, can complicate recovery from eating disorders. * Parents should be aware of behavioral changes in their children that may indicate an eating disorder. * Support and open communication are vital for families dealing with eating disorders.
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions.
Listen to the Audio PodcastYou can listen to the audio podcast version in the player below, or subscribe to the podcast in one of the popular platforms by clicking one of the buttons below the player.
- Apple Podcasts
- YouTube
- Spotify
- Podchaser
- Amazon Music About the GuestJoy Zelikovsky, Psy.D., M.A., M.Phil.Ed., M.S.EdJoy Zelikovsky is a clinical psychologist and National Health Service Psychologist in New Haven, CT. She is the founder and of Nourish The Heart Counseling in New Haven, Connecticut.
She received her Doctorate in Psychology and a Master’s of Arts in Clinical Psychology from the Florida School of Professional Psychology. She has also completed a Master’s of Philosophy in Education and a Master’s of Science in Education in Professional Counseling and Psychological Services, respectively, from the University of Pennsylvania. Joy completed her Bachelor of Arts in Psychology and Sociology with a minor in Education from the University of Massachusetts, Amherst. Joy is also credentialed as a National Health Service Psychologist.
Most recently, Joy was the Supervising Psychologist at the University of Southern Mississippi, providing therapeutic services in the college counseling center, and had worked in several other college counseling centers during her training and education. Joy also has experience working in private practice settings and community mental health. As the Director of Eating Disorder Services at Turnbridge Addiction Treatment, Joy uses evidence-based practices and treatments to help both men and women who are struggling with addiction and eating disorder concerns. Joy also continues to teach at the graduate level to help prepare the next generation of mental health clinicians.
Joy has a passion for working with eating disorders and has decided to make this site as a way of helping people access information and resources to help themselves, family, and friends in their recovery. This site offers information on eating disorders and resources to help people along their way. This site is also a place to have conversations and get questions answered as people work in their recovery. Learn more about her work at Psychology Today
For more information regarding Joy’s background and training see her curriculum vitae here: Master CV
The post Cultural Influences on Eating Disorders: A Discussion with Dr. Joy Zelikovsky – Seekers of Meaning 8/29/2025 appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
You are invited to join in a monthly open-ended discussion on the issues that concern us as we age. This is a conversation on the ideas, joys, challenges and concerns that all of us have and how Jewish tradition can speak to us.
Please register for the next session. NO COST
The Webinars will be facilitated by Rabbi Richard Address and Rabbi Mark Levin.
September 29, 2025 – 4:00-5.30 PM EDT/3:00-4:30 CDT
To sign up email markhowardlevin@gmail.com and put “We’re Aging” in subject line. A zoom code will be sent.
The post Next Session 09/29 4 p.m. EDT/3 p.m. CDT – From Both Sides Now: Monthly Conversations on Our Life’s Journey appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
My most beloved Toby, my wife of just over 57 years, is in year 11 of her daily decline from an unwinnable terminable disease: Alzheimer’s. I would divide this journey into two main parts: the first six years and the time since. It took the first six years to adjust to and accept the sentence imposed on her, on us both. (As time goes on it is the spouse whose brain is not under assault 24/7/365 that is most aware of the damage done to the spouse who is.)
Alzheimer’s, as many of you know, is much more than an illness impacting memory: first small misplacing of data points, then bigger more consequential forgetting, then the total loss of short term, then bigger and bigger chunks of mid term and long term memory. Beyond that tragedy, Alzheimer’s also damages one’s ability to reason, to know what is real, to process thought, to use words, to care for oneself. It may well lessen one’s balance — physical as well as emotional. One may plateau in between the changes or, as in Toby’s case, one may decline noticeably more each day.
The first six years began with dread, with finding secluded places to scream and cry and plead for the disease to back off and for Toby not to leave me. And while I tried my hardest to keep my cool and remember that this was not about what she was doing to me but rather what Alzheimer’s was doing to her, my success rate was anything but enviable. Turning red, repeatedly smashing myself in the head, yelling in exasperation certainly did not occur all the time but more than I found acceptable.
I kept a journal of her decline, of her behavior that I found so alarming — only the stuff that had not happened already. After about 75 typed pages single spaced of gut wrenching first occurrences, I stopped logging in. I would still fairly often inform our grown children of some of the firsts, such as the first time she did not know my name, or when she said late one night: “You better leave before Bruce gets home” or when she wandered away and the terror of trying to find her hit full force.
After six years it was not that the daily decline got less severe, it was that I had finally found my way to accepting the road we were on. And that was around the time all the behavioral modification role-play exercises I did hour after hour over a period of years really began to pay off and let me be more than the husband Toby needed me to be. That was half of my two-part prayer for her: May I be who she needs me to be and once her mind goes blank may she not have to linger in this life.
I would say that seven decisions made along the way have been most critical: 1. Obtaining over twenty years ago a long term care plan for her. 2. Seven years ago moving from our house to an apartment that was within walking distance of one of our daughters and her family. 3. Finding a great support group and attending regularly. 4.. Finding a fabulous center offering programs for seniors with dementia. She goes six hours a day, three days a week. 5. Obtaining three outstanding caregivers to help me here at home some sixty hours a week. 6. Staying heavily engaged in many usual projects. 7. Starting and leading a two section support group at Temple Shalom for caregivers of loved ones with dementia. (I also try to be helpful to many others individually not in the group who are also on this dementia journey with a loved one.)
Just need to add: I am a very spiritual person. Important help to me beyond description.
It is almost the Yamim Noraim. The most sacred privilege of the year. After those first six years that is how I began to think of my Alzheimer’s journey with Toby. A sacred privilege. That reaction hits often. For example, the first time I had to help her use the toilet because she no longer could do so by herself, that was my reaction. Sacred privilege. But as wonderful in many ways as Toby still is and as much as I treasure her and desperately need to have her with me, after ten and a half years this demanding, unrelenting sacred privilege has become a challenge that at times feels overwhelming.
Every day I do savor each lovely, happy moment with her. I savor each such moment more than ever before because I know such moments happen less and less and will continue diminishing until her last breath is taken.
Shanah tovah umtukah,
Bruce
Rabbi Bruce E. Kahn
Rabbi Emeritus Temple Shalom
Chevy Chase Maryland
The post Labriut — A brief summary of caregiving for Toby appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
I’ve long been fascinated by the concept of balance in life and health, and I want to explore this concept a bit more in this month’s column. We find references to the idea in Buddhism (the “middle path”) as well as in our own Jewish tradition (Maimonides’ “golden mean,” derived from Aristotle). In our culture of the next quick fix and the fountain of youth, and our polarized politics, the idea of adhering to the center may seem foreign at best. However, I have come to believe that the best decisions are usually those made in the context of listening to our physical and emotional states and keeping them in equilibrium with the ebbs and flows of internal and external stimuli.
Some of the best health advice often distills down to simple, and time-tested formula. The famous Zen Buddhist teaching, “when hungry, eat, when thirsty, drink, and when tired, sleep”, sounds ridiculously simple. But this is likely the intention, and if adhered to will probably produce a healthier body and lifestyle than any fad diet or workout regimen. The same goes for Michael Pollan’s famous line, “eat (real) food, mostly plants, not too much.” What other information might we need to regulate our energy levels and optimize our nutrition? More to the point, why does our society value unnecessary complexity and extremes of behavior?
It must be noted here that everyone’s “middle path” or “golden mean” is likely to be different, and exploring what these concepts mean for each of us is important. Mindfulness meditation and other contemplative practices can help with this, shining a spotlight on both the nuances of our physical functioning as well as our mental state. For Maimonides (and Judaism in general), the health of the body alongside the health of the mind and soul are of equal importance. We all know from personal experience when our body and mind are not in balance, and physicians for millennia have understood the feedback of one on the other.
In our modern society, can the balanced life be achieved? I believe so. The “middle path” and “golden mean” do not imply a lack of stress, noise or activity, as much as they do not imply a life of inactivity, boredom, and stagnation. For each of us, our relationship with both the outside and inside worlds in which we live are dynamic. Certain times will call for certain imbalances in mind and body to be tolerated. But in the long run, we will be better off if we realize the value of returning to a state of balance and equilibrium, as most biological systems do in nature after a disturbance. Kohelet reminds of this cycle of balance amid the rhythms of the natural world:
A season is set for everything, a time for every experience under heaven:
A time for being born, and a time for dying,
A time for planting and a time for uprooting the planted
A healthy state of body and mind need not be complicated; in fact, I think that the more we simplify the process, the better the outcomes will be. Eating well, moving well, and living well, are dependent on a recognition of our needs in the present moment. Certainly, medical conditions and their treatments can be complex, and we are endlessly bombarded by both traditional and social media with the “latest” miracle cure or admonition. But the approach to health need not be complex, and by blocking out the noise and instead listening to our internal wisdom (Sherwin Nuland’s The Wisdom of the Body is a wonderful exploration of this idea), we are much more likely to reach our goals. Our modern lifestyles have obscured this fact, but when you drill down to the core determinants of health, they are remarkably simple, and clustered around the “middle path” or “golden mean.”
The more open we are to the rhythms of our bodies and minds, the more able we will be to respond to their needs. Medicine recognizes that extremes of physical activity, either to deprivation or excess, can lead to adverse health consequences. We all know the weekend warrior who ends up with the premature knee replacement, or the couch potato who has an early heart attack. Where we all fit in the spectrum between the two is up to us to decide. “Optimization” of health is a very personal thing and requires a fine awareness of our emotional and physical needs in the present moment. I for one do not buy into the need for either technology or a guru to guide us to a good state of health. The human body has been honed by millions of years of evolution to know its own needs, and all we need to do is listen. For me, this is the “middle path,” the “golden mean,” leading to good health, and the good life.
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I am a proudly stubborn, independent 88-year-old man living at home. Nothing in my past has shown me how to negotiate problems I never thought of or anticipated. Yet here they are, smack dab in my face, and I feel helpless and overwhelmed. What once were simple solutions to everyday problems now overwhelm. Besides all that, these feelings are compounded by the fact I have lost my sense of purpose. Why am I still here? What is my new “role” in life?
I have lived through a major shift in family dynamics. Admittedly, my exposure to life in my early years was extremely limited, growing up in Brooklyn. Yet Brooklyn was in some ways a microcosm of the rest of the country. Each neighborhood was a self-contained unit with all the necessities of life at one’s fingertips. A sort of mini village where one rarely ventured into “other villages.” Family was close at hand, or at least not far away. All my parents’ families lived close enough to be available whenever needed, and there were times they were needed! I never thought about it then, and it’s only now that I am facing some unexpected decisions, the juxtaposition of then and now becomes startlingly clear and in many ways very disturbing.
Growing up, I was aware of the “family home” where the family occasionally met to celebrate special events. The young cousins chased around, exploring mysterious “hidden” parts of the house. We learned who slept together in one bed, the crazy antics of adult aunts and uncles, special foods served, and an infinite number of minutiae that made the family real and approachable. We also knew that the unmarried still lived at home and contributed until they married. Mom and dad ruled, were taken care of and participated in the daily operation of home and family matters. And if all the children were married, the last one didn’t necessarily fly the coup, but lived “at home,” or lived close by to be available if and when needed. At least that is how I remembered life before the end of The War (WWII).
After the war the “great migration” began for us city people. The need became, flee the city environment and look for newly opened lands in rural, soon to become suburban areas. It seems to me that almost every Sunday, since my father worked six days a week, we drove out to Long Island where old farms were being plowed under in order to “grow” houses. Levittown was born!! Acres and acres of identical, ”cookie cutter” houses sprang up where once potatoes, corn, strawberries and tomatoes grew. The war was over, rationing ended, and together with the rebuilding of Europe by the US, (the only country with the industrial capacity to fulfill that need), as well as supplying what was needed for the new homes in “distant” areas, a heady time of prosperity arose. Young families fled the crowded urban landscape, and in most cases left mom and dad behind.
Compounding all the above is the very real change in the employment situation. What was commonplace in those days, working for one employer, getting a gold watch at one’s retirement celebration, changed. Companies grew, spread out either domestically, or onto foreign shores. The work force was forced to follow where the jobs were. The dissolution of the family unit began and continues to the present. No one is around to look after aging parents.
So, what to do if and when the parent needed help, couldn’t handle the house alone, got sick, or became confused and unsure. No room in the new house for them, or they refused to leave the place they knew for the unknown. So, the “old age home” was born to warehouse those we formerly took care of. Now we don’t use that term. We call it independent living, assisted living, senior living, nursing home living, memory care facilities, and I’m sure many other names. It is a solution but not for those who can’t afford it or find it very hard to imagine being in that situation.
So now the circle is complete. I find myself back to where I started at the beginning of this piece, unanswered and still confused.
The post Navigating Life’s Changes at 88: A Personal Reflection appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Rabbi Address speaks with Rabbi Ariel Milan-Polisar (upper right corner), assistant rabbi at Congregation Kol Ami, Cherry Hill, NJ, and Pam Austin (lower right) and Joey Lieberson (lower left), two participants in a program she organized called “Gesher.” The intergenerational initiative at Congregation Kol Ami aimed at fostering relationships between younger and older members of the community.
Rabbi Milan-Polisar discusses the program’s origins, its impact on Joey and Pamela, and the lessons learned about the importance of personal relationships and community building.
The discussion highlights the positive experiences of both elders and students, emphasizing the hope and connection that emerged from their interactions. Future plans for the program include expanding its reach and continuing to foster intergenerational connections within the Jewish community.
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions.
Listen to the Audio PodcastYou can listen to the audio podcast version in the player below, or subscribe to the podcast in one of the popular platforms by clicking one of the buttons below the player.
- Apple Podcasts
- YouTube
- Spotify
- Podchaser
- Amazon Music About the GuestsRabbi Ariel Milan-PolisarRabbi Milan-Polisar is the Assistant Rabbi at Congregation Kol Ami in Cherry Hill, NJ. Originally from Irvington, NY, Rabbi Milan-Polisar attended Brandeis University in Waltham, MA, where she studied Sociology and Near Eastern and Judaic Studies. She was ordained as a rabbi in May 2021 from Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion in New York, NY. Before joining the Kol Ami community in 2023, Rabbi Milan-Polisar served as a Campus Rabbi and Rabbinic Innovation Fellow at Penn Hillel in Philadelphia, PA. In her free time, you can find her reading contemporary fiction, trying homemade pasta recipes, or fostering dogs. Rabbi Ariel Milan-Polisar lives in Cherry Hill, NJ with her husband Jason and their dog Lucy.
Pam AustinI was raised at a Conservative synagogue in Cleveland Heights, Ohio, the eldest of four children. I became a Confirmand and attended Hebrew High through 12th grade. I received a BS degree in English, and a Masters of Education degree in Remedial Education at Miami University (OH.) After 40 years of teaching at high schools and community colleges, I retired in 2016. The last 35 years of my career, I was the Reading Specialist at Voorhees Middle School. There I started an intergenerational club, called Adopt-a-Grandparent, and I took students to bimonthly visits at local nursing and assisted living facilities. The students showed such caring and empathy to the residents and each year, many shared special relationships with one or two seniors. The club is ongoing.
Joey LiebersonJoey Lieberson is a student in the Hebrew High School program at Congregation Kol Ami in Cherry Hill, NJ, and a rising senior at Cherry Hill High School East.
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After several years of having guests, in 2017 I wrote an article called “Airbnb as a Spiritual Practice.” Simcha, my husband and I had been hosting various people for short-term Airbnb bookings, and it was quite an adventure to meet so many different types of guests. I spoke about Hachnasat Orchim/hospitality as a mitzvah. There is divine magic (hashgachat pratit) that happens when just the right person shows up when you need them. As hosts, it has felt that way with Airbnb guests; we had what they needed and vice versa.
Fast-forward: the pandemic hit, and we did not want that kind of fast-paced traffic checking in and out of our house. Instead, we opened the house to longer-term bookings. We lived with people throughout the pandemic and had our own little community. With our guests – we navigated life transitions. One woman’s mom died; another was looking for a special school for her son. My son was bedridden with a back injury, my husband got Covid and was isolated in his office for six weeks- but we had company. We learned from these experiences that we prefer long-term guests to short-term visitors. It gives us a chance to get to know people and to form “extended family.”
Today, when people sometimes move far away from family across the country, and we do not live in multi-generational settings, the concept of “extended family” takes on new meaning. Living alone and isolated is not good for human beings. When interacting together, we are happier and healthier. We love our house, but live in the suburbs where people don’t just pop in. We have to drive somewhere to see people.
Hosting through AirBnb gives us built in company. We don’t need to seek external entertainment as much, or wait for someone to call and invite us for dinner -we have it if we need it. It is very easy to vet someone through the site. I have never had any trouble with any of the guests as most of the people traveling are graduate students, or young adults/digital nomads. It’s been fascinating to meet people from all over the world. Even hosting for a month gives me a rewarding sense of offering shelter to someone making a stop on their life journey.
Since Covid, it has become clearer that hosting on Airbnb is not only a spiritual practice but also a mitzvah. Since the pandemic shut down, we have hosted many student interns who come to Philly for the summer. We have had several people come to us who are housing insecure and need a place to stay while they get on their feet financially. Housing insecurity has proven to be a prevalent issue nationwide, and one that has emerged in my spiritual community beyond Airbnb.
For example, I host the Nechama Minyan every night, a virtual weekday prayer service for anybody seeking community, a place to say kaddish or just to pray. There are people who come and go from that Minyan. A number them are praying for better places to live because their own housing situation is not good – or they need a chemical free space. Others seeking housing have contacted me through Facebook, looking for places to live while on fixed income. One woman stated she did not have the luxury to attend the Minyan because she was in a different house every week. All these people have been women.
Our tradition states very clearly to help the needy. There are several Torah verses that mention this concept: “If anyone is poor among your fellow Israelites in any of the towns of the land that your God is giving you, do not be hardhearted or tightfisted toward them. Rather, be open-handed and freely lend them whatever they need” (Deuteronomy 15:7-8). And as well: “This is what the Holy One said: ‘Administer true justice; show mercy and compassion to one another. Do not oppress the widow or the fatherless, the foreigner or the poor. Do not plot evil against each other’” (Zechariah 7:9-10).
Homelessness and housing insecurity have persisted as critical humanitarian problems in the United States. In 2023, more than 650,000 people nationwide were unhoused, according to the National Alliance to End Homelessness. Total homelessness has increased every year since 2016. These numbers are disproportionately high among people of color and disabled individuals. While policy must catch up to ensure people have access to affordable housing, social services, and safe communities, we can each take action on a small scale to support at-risk populations.
My personal heroes are my two friends, M. and A., who live in Canada. They used to walk by a homeless man and always said “hello”. Eventually, they invited him to live in their basement. He is now a part of their “extended family.” He helps them shovel snow and fix things, and they have set up this living space for him as he seeks to get on his feet. Their sacrifice of the empty space in their basement is saving a life.
I am not suggesting that we take in every stranger off the street. However, those of us who have empty rooms or have not figured out a way to downsize – or don’t want to – should try to open our doors to those who are financially insecure. I’m also not advocating free rent; but charging something.
As we see more people with housing needs, setting up an Airbnb offers the opportunity to fill the empty rooms in our homes, for which we already pay the mortgage, heating, and electricity costs. It also gives us a chance to do a mitzvah. For example, some LGBTQ+ people are fleeing red states where the laws have become restrictive for their well-being. They will need places to stay while they are looking for permanent housing. As of now, it is a trickle, but I expect this to grow.
As well, if cuts to Social Security, Medicare, and Medicaid happen, we should expect more people with financial needs. Rather than have them sit on the street or in homeless shelters, if we have the rooms in our houses, we should be prepared to do a mitzvah—even if we earn some money from it. Because everyone needs their dignity to feel like they can afford to pay something.
Helping those who are struggling to make ends meet, seeing a person supported and launched into the world, is a good thing. Creating temporary family, having company around to take the edge of loneliness is a wonderful thing. Keeping the house filled with tenants who can help with the finances is a great thing. And all while doing a mitzvah.
If you would like help setting up an Airbnb, or have questions about it, I would be more than happy to mentor you and refer you to resources. It would be amazing if there were a national bank registry of Jewish homes that were open for transient people. I am thinking of creating a Facebook group called “Spiritual Airbnb.” It will be for those seeking housing and those who have housing available.
We must do our part to help those in the margins or traveling through. Because we know that at any given moment — our tradition reminds us — we were once strangers in a strange land, it could be us in that position.
The post The Spiritual Practice of Airbnb Hosting: Creating Community appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Rabbi Address interviews Lisa Pahl, a licensed clinical social worker and creator of the Death Deck, a tool designed to facilitate conversations about death, dying, and end-of-life preferences.
The discussion explores the importance of normalizing these conversations, the adaptability of the Death Deck for various audiences, including solo agers and younger generations, and the cultural attitudes towards death in society. Lisa shares insights on how humor can help ease the discomfort surrounding death discussions and the role of the Death Deck in addressing death anxiety.
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions.
Listen to the Audio PodcastYou can listen to the audio podcast version in the player below, or subscribe to the podcast in one of the popular platforms by clicking one of the buttons below the player.
- Apple Podcasts
- YouTube
- Spotify
- Podchaser
- Amazon Music About the GuestLisa PahlLisa Pahl is co-creator of The Death Deck and The E•O•L Deck, tools that inspire meaningful conversations on what matters most in our lives and in our deaths. As a licensed clinical social worker with over 17 years of experience within hospice and emergency medicine, Pahl helps people cope with illness, dying, and grief. With a passionate belief that peace at the end begins with meaningful conversations over time, she engages people in talking about and preparing for this important stage of life.
The post Lisa Pahl and The Death Deck: Facilitating End-of-Life Dialogues – Seekers of Meaning 8/15/2025 appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
For most people, “unsolicited commercial email,” or UCE, for short, is the bane of their online lives. Better known as “spam” or “junk mail,” many of us spend too much time plowing through stuffed email inboxes deleting emails we didn’t ask for and don’t want.
But what about the emails from friends, family, and trusted community organizations that for some reason get tarred with the “spam” designation and are automatically thrown into a junk mail folder before we even see them?
Email providers use complicated formulas to analyze email traffic and predict which messages are likely to be spam. In addition, more recently Internet companies have agreed on a series of authentications that need to be included in the “header” information of emails to prove they are legitimate. If these are not present or not configured correctly, a message can get flagged as junk.
How do we mark those emails so that they aren’t diverted from our inboxes?
The answer is, it depends. Every modern consumer email system has a method for indicating that a message is from a trusted sender, not junk mail. The challenge for many of us is that each system has a slightly different email interface and handles junk mail just a little differently.
So here’s a short guide for the junk-mail perplexed among us on how to mark specific emails as “not junk.” This first section deals with making changes if you use a computer and access your email from these providers through a traditional web browser. Later, I’ll walk you through marking email as “safe” if you access your email on your smartphone.
Comcast.netIf your email address is from Comcast, ending in @comcast.net, here are your steps:
- Log in to your Comcast.net/Xfinity email account.
- Navigate to the left-hand panel and click on the Spam folder.
- Locate the email that was incorrectly marked as spam.
- Click the checkbox next to the email(s) you want to move.
- Above the email list, click the Not Spam button (this might also be labeled as Move to Inbox in some versions).
- The email will be moved to your inbox, and this action helps teach Comcast’s filter that such emails are legitimate in the future.
Gmail.comFor Gmail users, these are the steps:
- Sign in to your Gmail account.
- On the left, scroll down and click on the Spam folder. You may need to click More to find it.
- Find the email you wish to mark as not spam.
- Select the checkbox next to the email.
- Above the message list, click Not spam. The email will move to your inbox.
AOL.comFor AOL email, you need to do this:
- Log in to your AOL Mail.
- In the left panel, click on the Spam folder.
- Find and select the email you want to rescue from spam.
- With the email open, click the Not Spam button at the top of the message list.
- The email will be moved to your inbox, and the filter will learn from your action.
Yahoo.comYahoo Mail, which now owns AOL and Verizon email, has a similar process:
- Sign in to Yahoo Mail.
- From the left navigation pane, click on Spam.
- Check the box next to the email(s) wrongly marked as spam.
- Click Not Spam at the top of the page. The email moves to the inbox.
Verizon email accounts (@verizon.net) might use either the AOL process or the Yahoo process.
It’s a good idea to check your spam or junk folder periodically to make sure there aren’t any messages that shouldn’t be there. You can also add trusted senders to your address book on your email system. That tells the system that the email address is legitimate and may help keep emails from that person out of your junk folder.
Email accessed on a smart phoneUpdate: The procedures listed above won’t actually be available to you if the only place you manage your email is in the Mail app on an iPhone or iPad. If that’s the case, you need to follow these different procedures.
Step-by-Step (Works for All Providers)
To rescue an email from the Junk folder:
- Open the Mail app on your iPhone.
- Tap Mailboxes (top left) if needed.
- Scroll and tap the Junk folder.
- Tap Edit (top right).
- Tap the circle next to the email(s) you want to keep.
- Tap Move (bottom of screen).
- Choose Inbox.
This tells your email provider the message is not junk. It may help future emails from the same sender arrive properly.
Extra Help for Yahoo and AOL Users
Yahoo Mail App (optional download from App Store):
- Open the Yahoo Mail app.
- Tap the Spam folder.
- Open the email.
- Tap the three dots (top right).
- Tap Not Spam.
AOL Mail App (optional download from App Store):
- Open the AOL Mail app.
- Tap the Spam folder.
- Tap the email.
- Tap Not Spam (bottom toolbar).
Comcast & Verizon Users
These providers don’t have dedicated mobile apps for email.
To mark emails as “Not Spam” more effectively:
- Use the Junk-to-Inbox method above.
- Or log in to your email through Safari or another browser:
- Comcast: xfinity.com
- Verizon: verizon.com
The post Making Sure Emails Get Through appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
What I discovered in the rhythm of swimming and bubbles risingWhen I’m swimming, bubbles rise ahead of me, fleeting as breath itself. My eyes follow them, drawn to something so simple it feels like wonder.
They rise from the churn I create — air caught and shaped by my movement, then released. Again and again, they appear, each one as fleeting as the next. Captivating in the instant I see them, then gone, out of my mind without a trace, as if they never existed.
Somewhere in that rhythm, I feel total presence — motion and stillness woven together, and the sense that I’ve slipped into a current untethered from time or place.
At first, it was just sensation — the rhythm, the muffled splash of each stroke, the way the world fades when I focus on the bubbles. But then I noticed something else: the bubbles are an answer to me. They rise in response to my action, to my breath. And with that came a new awareness: I’m not just being carried. I’m shaping the current, too.
This is not me. I wish I had a cool shot of me swimming below the surface!The Praise That Never Made SenseAnd I wonder now — could praising God be like that?
Religion asks us to believe that God-praise is a portal to unlock heaven on earth. That’s a big ask! For most of my life, I’ve recoiled from even contemplating what that would be like. It felt more like feeding the ego of some distant power, hungry for constant applause, enforced by fear and force, not devotion. Was God really some cosmic narcissist, desperate for praise like Trump or any other strongman who can’t stand to be questioned?
And then there’s the Ned Flanders version in my head: relentless God‑praise chirping away while chaos abounds in Springfield. It plays well in cartoon form, a shiny shield of “hallelujahs” thrown up to block out what’s actually happening.
That, too, was easier to grasp than whatever praise was meant to be. Mocking felt safer than opening myself to something I didn’t understand — and didn’t trust.
Okley Dokely!Letting Praise Rise Like BubblesNow I wonder if praise is less something we give and more something that rises, like the bubbles, when we are paying attention.
When I was a child and heard all the “Our Father, Our King” and “King of the Universe” language in synagogue, it felt like background noise. It was high ceremony that seemed to demand reverence without offering relationship.
It was confusing, and as I became the cynic I needed to be, I assumed that’s all it was — something people said to feel safe, or to belong, or worse, to exert control.
That assumption fit neatly into my worldview. It made sense to stay skeptical; I was attuned to how often God‑praise had been weaponized in history. And with hate once again being sanctioned by governments, including my own, and antisemitism spreading like a plague, the way it always seems to, those defenses don’t go quietly.
But curiosity led me here anyway. Even with all of that murmuring underneath the surface, I’ve followed the thread, wondering what praise is really for. And in the rhythm of bubbles and breath, I catch a glimpse.
Water Has Always Taught MeWhether I pay attention in the water or let my mind drift, the bubbles still form. They’re what happens in the act of moving through an element that could drown me, but instead keeps me buoyant and light of mind — what I’ve come to think of as my own made‑up religion of mermaidism.
It’s why I was drawn to the water in the first place. In childhood, it was where I felt the protection, comfort, and peace that life on land — life inside my own family — couldn’t offer.
Swimming has carried me through so many seasons of upheaval, reinvention, and grief. But for years, I thought of water mainly as a refuge—a place to retreat from the weight of the world, not a teacher showing me how to move through it.
Now I see it differently. Water has been shaping me all along, showing me how to feel held and how to keep moving forward at the same time. And that’s what I’m starting to see about exultant praise. It’s not just a string of meaningless over-the-top words or a tool for control or a hollow recitation.
It can be something else entirely. It can be a call for attention, asking me to reach for a truer, light‑filled version of safety and protection. A way of loosening the old, armored layers that have long been too heavy, not just in this moment, but across generations of human struggle.
For that reason, I’ve started to consider exultant praise not as giving God something God lacks, but as something that stirs us awake, gently parting the defenses so we can feel what’s been there all along.
That’s what the bubbles have become for me: not just a rhythm, but a kind of praise. A rising I don’t force but can join. A sign of connection. A portal.
In my Reform Jewish tradition, it helps, too, that the language has shifted. It’s no longer just “Our Father, Our King” or “King of the Universe.” I couldn’t see myself in those words. There’s room now—for Spirit, for Divine Presence that doesn’t sit above us but moves through us and between us.
The words don’t feel as distant anymore. They carry real charge. Like the bubbles when I swim, they rise from presence and motion. And when I pay attention, they shimmer with meaning.
Ravi — my beloved son, gone from this world too soon — keeps guiding me toward that shift. Not as some holy messenger, but as my reminder to notice. His love is in the hush of the backyard wind, the birdsong that breaks through my thoughts and fades, the still gaze of the dogs who watch me like they know. He finds me, again and again.
And that love always brings me back to words.
Not just words, but charged language — words that hold feeling, memory, God. Praise that bubbles up and unlocks something I didn’t know was inside me, that I was afraid to unleash for so long. That’s what I’m learning to follow.
If praise is how words open the hidden door, then I want to keep drifting toward it—the way I’ve always drifted toward water.
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On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Rabbi Address engages in a profound conversation with Dr. Arielle Berger, a geriatrician and rabbinic student, exploring the intersection of medicine, spirituality, and aging.
Dr. Berger shares her journey from medicine to the rabbinate, emphasizing the importance of spirituality in patient care and the need for a shift in how society views aging. They discuss the ethical implications of medical aid in dying and the role of Jewish values in healthcare, ultimately advocating for a more compassionate approach to aging and healthcare.
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions.
Listen to the Audio PodcastYou can listen to the audio podcast version in the player below, or subscribe to the podcast in one of the popular platforms by clicking one of the buttons below the player.
- Apple Podcasts
- YouTube
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- Amazon Music About the GuestDr. Arielle BergerDr. Arielle Berger is a geriatrician and assistant professor in the Department of Medicine at the University of Toronto. She has a clinical practice at Toronto Grace Health Center in downtown Toronto and is an experienced educator, teaching communication and professionalism skills to doctors in training and in practice. She is currently pursuing rabbinic ordination through the Shalom Hartman Institute, hoping to address both physical and spiritual needs of the aging Jewish community in Toronto.
The post Becoming a Rabbi: A Journey of Spirituality and Medicine, with Dr. Arielle Berger – SOM 8/8/2025 appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
וָאֶתְחַנַּ֖ן אֶל־יְהֹוָ֑ה Va’etchanan el יהוה
Editor’s Note: The author of this d’var Torah, Sylvia Turner-Yanofsky, is a student in Rabbi Address’ class in Aleph-Jewish Renewal rabbinic pastor program.
How many times in a lifetime does one plead, have you or I, in desperation, pleaded? As children it may have been for a toy or to be allowed to stay up a little longer or to not be hurt. And as adults?
What happens to that pleading when we are faced with our own mortality or the approaching death of a loved one, when we know death is drawing closer? It is so easy to imagine the anguish Moshe is experiencing when he wants so desperately to reach the Promised Land, the one towards which he has been shepherding this unruly mass of people for so long, and he too wants to reach home. But no. He goofed and the punishment is NO. He will only be allowed a glimpse from afar of the very place for which he has been yearning for so many decades.
Is it so different when we are suddenly being told we will not be allowed to see the day our child or grandchild reaches some special hallmark, or we will no longer know the embrace and kiss of a loved one? When we will only have the imagined glimpse of that which we will not be able to ever again experience just one more time? When we will no longer be able to hold our baby?
In this week, after we have passed the marking of our combined griefs of Tisha b’Av, we are confronted with Moshe’s stricken countenance, that moment when he is told “No”.
What do we do when we are given the knowledge of our “No”?
For most there is a moment of denial and pleading. Then there is blaming – which Moshe does several times: In 3:26 –
וַיִּתְעַבֵּ֨ר יְהֹוָ֥ה בִּי֙ לְמַ֣עַנְכֶ֔ם vayetaber Adonai bi l’ma’anchem – But Adonai was wrathful with (or to) me on your account
And again in 4:21 –
וַ וַֽיהֹוָ֥ה הִתְאַנַּף־בִּ֖י עַל־דִּבְרֵיכֶ֑ם – And/Now Adonai was angry with me for your words/ (because of you).
Moshe never mentions it was his idea to not listen, to not follow directions as he struck the rock with his rod in his frustration with the complaining about the lack of water.
Moshe is in those first acute stages of mourning – shock, denial, anger and blaming, as he works his way towards coming to terms.
That path of coming to terms, trying to remember to impart every bit of knowledge we have that we may have forgotten to tell those we are leaving. Here are the rules – you MUST follow the rules, all of the rules, even the ones I forgot to tell you – in our last desperate attempts to keep safe the ones we are leaving.
Moshe exhorts the people to follow those rules at least 30 times in this parsha, using at least 6 different verbs: Shamar, yirah, kashar, l’vavecha – in your heart, tzavah, shama, oseh, and I may have missed some. He threatens, he reminds, he begs, charges, for he knows how difficult it has been for this mass of people to listen, remember and do. I think he really meant it, and was afraid for them.
Then there are the stories; so you will remember who you are, who came before you and shaped you, the stories of our identities. We are the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves. Stories we tell each other, the stories of my life before I leave you, the stories of the ones who have loved me and I have loved.
Stories with which I am instructing you, that are the insurance that will allow you to survive without me. And a leader, Joshua, my deputy who knows all I have taught him, chosen by G!d to serve you and lead you to that place for which we have been longing.
How remarkable is it that of all the words in our Book, the ones we repeat the most often are here. Words that have been repeated for how many hundreds of millions of times? The words defining our relationships. The ones that if we remember nothing else, often the very first words we may learn: Sh’ma Yisrael. One only has to hear the first word to know what comes next – “sh’ma”. What is enshrined in these words? Each time we repeat them they are different for no two utterances will ever be exactly the same.
What do these ancient repeated words do for us, for you, now? Today?
They’re part and parcel of our story, the story of our ancestors, of survival, of identity, of what may carry us through difficult times, the words we have before going to sleep.
Most of us have some words that do that – it might not be the sh’ma and v’ahavta. It may be “Ave Maria gratia plena”, or “Allahu Akbar” or “Om Bhur Bhuvaḥ Suvaha”[1] – the words that open our hearts. It may be our loved one’s last words, their last breath, as we realize it is the last we will directly hear from their lips.
These are the words for which we listen as we walk the path of those who are leaving us, as we walk with those who shall continue to walk when all we have are the stories, the words, the melodies. Few of us wish to die alone, as we face the unknown.
Many have faith in the story they carry about what may be next. Some assume there is just a nothingness, as we have each experienced within the arms of sleep. We wish that someone will Rest in Peace, as we come to terms with having only memories. Perhaps that is the wish we have for ourselves?
And yet we, the ones who are left behind, to tell their stories, to sing their songs, we listen. We repeat their words, or hold them close to our hearts.
We lean into the words of Isaiah, Nachamu, nachamu ami. Though I hear those words to the strains of Handel, words of comfort, in this time after Tisha B’av. Words of comfort, first performed in Dublin for the benefit of several charities, including an orphanage. Comfort Ye My People. A message of the everlasting presence and omnipotent majesty of the Creator, one who created all, who set it all in motion. The one who created and also brings the withering of the flesh –
All flesh is grass, all its goodness like flowers of the field:
Grass withers, flowers fade
when GOD’s breath blows on them.
The final message reminding us? Perhaps the psychological clue to come to some resting place, a place of acceptance, the memories that stir our hearts? And a reminder of the comfort when we share the stories?
Shema – listen; Adonai echad. It is all one.
[1] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LBOShHL_-F4
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There is a part of me that disappeared on October 7, 2023, the part that believed that we lived in a truly post-antisemitic world. When, on October 8, rallies around the world gave praise to the atrocities of Hamas and called for the killing of even more Jews, before Israel had even dropped a single bomb, I knew that the familiar “ideal” world of my 1990s post-Cold War childhood had ended. Witnessing the ways in which Jews were excluded from the protections that had been readily provided to other identity groups, I have had to fight to maintain my Humanism, to keep my head above some dark water. Feeling isolated and rejected by most of the world, I have found ugly feelings arising, inklings of hatred, revenge, and vulnerability to the whims of a hostile world. A new part of me has strengthened, a part that is keenly aware of Jewish history, and that fears (and knows) that this history will once again repeat itself.
In the aftermath of the Hamas pogrom, many of those whose causes we had so readily supported, and whom we hoped would support us in a time of future need, were not only silent, but turned on us. Modern Jews were cast as the worst kind of oppressors, and as the embodiment of the most salacious antisemitic tropes. Now with a nation of our own, and above-average successes in the societies in which we live, Jews no longer possess, in the words of Einat Wilf, the “moral purity of the victim” that emerged out of the Holocaust. As such, the worst things that have happened to us have been justified, and we are required to efface ourselves of any semblance of Jewish self-reliance or power to (perhaps) be accepted back into the fold. Public renunciations of Zionism and the Jewish right to self-determination are the price to pay.
This is arguably the worst time for Jews since the 1940s, and a keen demonstration of the fact that not only was antisemitism not dead, but alive and well beneath the surface, ready to erupt under the right conditions. I don’t know how I missed it, but I think that many of us did. I felt hints of the eruption here and there over the past several years, but never did I expect my daughter’s Jewish preschool to receive a bomb threat. Now, whatever our feelings about Bibi Netanyahu and his policies, or the right-wing extremist government that keeps him in power, we as Jews are all equated with every aspect of Israel’s conduct, the slander of dual loyalties being placed again on our shoulders. There has been no room in many circles for the nuance of arguing against Israel’s policies; its continued existence is debated. Israel lost the public relations battle to the black and white thinking of irrational people long ago, and Netanyahu has doubled down and embraced the villainhood that many, justifiably or not, have ascribed to him.
What hurts the most, and what will leave the most lasting scar on my psyche, is the continuing silence of the many non-Jewish people in my life who I once thought were close, understood me, or were like family. Over the months there have been many perfunctory pats on the back and obligatory agreements with some of my most obvious statements on the topic. But only a handful of times has there been a proactive acknowledgement of how truly horrible and destructive this time has been, and even less frequently has there been any offer of support or solidarity against the rising tide of antisemitism. This reaction has been devastating, and it seems that these relationships will never be able to recover the level of trust that existed before these events. It is clear to me that we Jews are indeed responsible for our own fate and cannot rely on the largesse of the outside world, or any higher power, to ensure our continuation and survival.
The post-October 7 world is one of disconnection and alienation for me. For the first time in my life, I identify with the attitudes of my Jewish grandparents and great-grandparents, now finding connection, comfort, solace, and trust mainly in Jewish spaces. While I didn’t expect the non-Jewish people in my life to fully understand the Jewish experience or to carry the level of generational trauma that most Jews do in the wake of the Holocaust and other historical catastrophes, I did expect a basic level of concern and humanity that was sadly absent at the time of the massacres, and even now. I fear that many of these people have absorbed the antisemitism and anti-Zionism spreading so fluidly in popular culture to the extent that they now ultimately view me as the stereotypical Jew: less than fully human, unworthy of compassion, and a threat to the health and wellbeing of society.
I love my Jewish heritage and will do everything in my power to pass it down to my daughters and to create for them a sense of joy and pride in their Jewish background. This task is even more essential in today’s world. October 7 and its aftermath held a powerful mirror up to my face, revealing profound truths to me about the nature of the world and humanity, and forcing me to question some of my most deeply held beliefs. Following these events, I am fundamentally changed, and will never look upon the world in the naive way that I did before. I came out of all this realizing how small the circle of people who truly understand me is, and how fragile our personal worlds are when confronted with the powerful tide of historical hatred and malice. I realized quite profoundly on October 7, and in the days that followed, that should this have happened to myself and my family, many in the world would not mourn or even remain indifferent, but would celebrate our suffering and deaths.
I am still unsure where all of this leaves me. Many days I am plagued by a sense of anger at a world that seems cold and indifferent. I don’t want to admit that this part of me exists and I wish that I could recover something from what was lost. I have tried, to varying degrees of success, to claw back my sense of humanitarianism and connection to others. It hasn’t been easy, but I try to remember the importance of Tikkun Olam and our movement’s teachings. Perhaps, in the end, this experience will make Humanism even more valuable to me. For it is Humanism that affirms the power of the Jewish people to triumph over evil. Regardless, every day has become an opportunity to rediscover goodness in the world, albeit within the confines of a much smaller circle of those in whom I place my trust. In the meantime, I am grateful for all those people I do have, and for the beauty and power of our movement and the connection that it creates to Judaism and the Jewish people. It is that Humanism that those who wish us ill so very much lack. Am Yisrael Chai.
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Note from Rabbi Address: Seraphina (pronouns ze/zir) is a student in my class, Developing a Personal Theology of Pastoral Care, for the Rabbinc-Pastor program at the Aleph seminar. Ze prepared this D’var Torah for one of our classes on the Torah portion that begins Deuteronomy. We share it with you as it was a very helpful way to begin class.
This week’s parshah is Devarim. In it, we are beginning the grand retelling of Moshe at the end of his life. In Devarim, we are introduced to the way in which Moshe will be telling us this story, which is to say: Imperfectly.
Throughout this week’s parshah and onward through the ultimate book of the Torah, Moshe presents to us a story that is tempered by age. Sometimes he is embittered by the weight of his responsibility, or forgetful. Sometimes he is by the book. Sometimes he tells stories that have been colored by his own memory into something that does not resemble the original telling. Which is true? Which is false? Does truth or falseness have anything to do with the handing down of legacy?
We read this parshah at a very particular time in the Jewish calendar. We are in the midst of the nine days proceeding Tisha b’Av, the day of mourning. In this moment, we allow ourselves to touch every Jewish grief. We lay our fingers on the fallen stones of the temples, brush our lips against the skin of Holocaust victims, cling tight to the hands of Tree of Life congregants. We worry the edges of our garments and reach out with our hearts to the thousands of dead in Palestine, to the children separated from their parents by ICE agents, to the cruelty festering at the heart of a government that has so little to offer to a world in pain.
We have heard this story before. And we will hear it again. We stand on the bleeding edge of creation in this moment and cast backward to the landscape of grieving with fingers longing to soothe and seal up the cracks. And we look forward to a world that will continue to lose. To grieve. To pass through the gates into an unfamiliar future that will, inevitably, be littered with the bodies of the dead and full of the sounds of the mourning.
What is the legacy of Moshe in this moment? I would say that it is the legacy of a man who has seen the grief of the world in his forty years of journeying. In his people’s enslavement. In the fight to free them. I would say that it is the wisdom of a man who stands, like us, perched between that history and the world that is stretched before him that he can never know.
Moshe looks back over the course of his life and tells us what it meant to him. Like any other person, he has made meaning out of the moments in his life that he remembers with great clarity. Moshe, in the moment when he begins his story, throws away any illusion of objective truth and gives us the history that lives in his heart, carved into his ventricles with the potent hammer of age.
Devarim is a book that is only beginning to be written in this moment in Jewish time. And it starts with a man whose grief spans the entirety of Jewish history. On Tisha b’Av, I would venture, he is still standing on the hills overlooking the Promised Land. And he is grieving with us for the world we have been given to repair.
The post The Grief of Tisha B’av: Lessons from Moshe appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Rabbi Paul Kipnes discusses his book, The Secret Life of the Mourner, which explores his personal journey through grief after losing his father. The conversation delves into the therapeutic power of poetry, the role of a rabbi in mourning, the significance of rituals like sitting Shiva, and the importance of community support during times of loss. Rabbi Kipnes reflects on the complexities of parent-child relationships, forgiveness, and the necessity of creating new rituals to help individuals process their grief. His conversation with Rabbi Address emphasizes the need for permission to mourn and the liberation that comes from articulating one’s feelings.
The Secret Life of the Mourner: A Poetic Journey Through a Year of Grief is a heartfelt exploration of loss, love, and the complex emotions that define mourning. After the unexpected loss of his father, Paul Kipnes embarked on a deeply personal journey through grief, uncovering what he calls the “secret life of the mourner.” This collection of poignant poetry captures the raw, often hidden layers of emotion that mourners experience — sadness, relief, guilt, reflection, and moments of profound connection. Drawing from his own experience as a mourner and years as a clergyperson guiding others through the valley of the shadow of death, Kipnes invites readers into an intimate conversation with grief. Written with unflinching honesty and poetic simplicity, these verses transcend theology and intellect, speaking directly to the heart. Poetry, with its ability to convey the inexpressible, becomes a vessel for the emotions that often defy articulation. The Secret Life of the Mourner is a companion for those who grieve, a resource for loved ones seeking understanding, and a tool for caregivers, clergy, and ritual leaders. Whether read in quiet reflection or shared during moments of mourning, these poems illuminate the universal truths of loss and the resilience of the human spirit. Ultimately, this book is a gift—a raw, real, and deeply moving tribute to the enduring bond between the living and the lost, reminding us that even in the shadow of grief, love endures and memories become blessings.
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions.
Listen to the Audio PodcastYou can listen to the audio podcast version in the player below, or subscribe to the podcast in one of the popular platforms by clicking one of the buttons below the player.
- Apple Podcasts
- YouTube
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- Amazon Music About the GuestRabbi Paul KipnesRabbi Paul Kipnes is a visionary spiritual leader, three-time author, speaker, and innovator, dedicated to guiding individuals and communities toward deeper faith, healing, and transformation. As the longtime spiritual leader of Congregation Or Ami, he has pioneered groundbreaking approaches to spiritual engagement, earning 14 national awards for excellence in family education, interfaith outreach, disability inclusion, social justice, and use of technology.
A passionate educator, Rabbi Paul has guided over 56 rabbis and educators, shaping the next generation of faith leadership. His commitment to fostering meaningful spiritual living extends to his writing, including Jewish Spiritual Parenting, co-authored with his wife, Michelle November, and The Secret Life of the Mourner: A Poetic Journey Through a Year of Grief, a deeply personal and spiritual exploration of loss and healing.
National leaders, clergy, and people everywhere turn to Rabbi Paul and his poetic, alliterative writing and prayers to find the words to address the rapidly transforming personal and societal realities. He co-edited a national journal on New Visions for Jewish Community and his writing has been featured in JTA, The Forward, the Journal of Reform Judaism, Jewish Journal, Daily News, and eJewishPhilanthropy.com. He is co-founder of Midrashic Monologues, which gives voice through the silence to our Biblical ancestors.
Beyond the pulpit, Rabbi Paul is a dynamic thinker and creative spirit. A lifelong lover of science fiction and meditation, he even appeared in an episode of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. His passions also include blues and jazz, writing poetry, as well as hiking through national parks, where he finds spiritual inspiration in the grandeur of nature.
With a reputation for community transformation and teen engagement, Rabbi Paul integrates ancient traditions with modern insights, fostering inclusive, dynamic spiritual experiences. Whether through writing, teaching, or community leadership, he empowers individuals to connect more deeply with their spirituality, embrace sacred moments, and build vibrant, compassionate communities.
He was ordained rabbi from Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion, earning its Master of Arts in Jewish Education degree along the way. His BA in Comparative Religion from Trinity College (Hartford, CT) deepened his appreciation for the universal spiritual search for truth, connection, and compassion. He is married to Michelle November and together they have three children, two daughters-in-law, and a shared love of travel, good food, and good friends
The post The Healing Power of Poetry in Mourning: Insights from Rabbi Paul Kipnes – SOM 8/1/2025 appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
A few weeks ago, I was privileged to teach a class at the Aleph Kallah. The Aleph Kallah, which takes place every other year, is a week of study, prayer, and engagement with other people involved or interested in Jewish Renewal.
I was not supposed to teach, but the scheduled teacher could not make it, and I was drafted to fill in. The original class was entitled “Shema/Listening, Made for These Times.” It was to be a class that referenced listening from the heart. I was excited to be a student in that class.
The week before, I had taught my class to a different group of students. My class was called “Machlochet, Pshorah and Shalom (dispute, compromise and peace), the Art and Science of Conflict Resolution.” It also involved lots of conversations about listening, from a pastoral care and conflict resolution context.
So, I thought learning from a different perspective would be fun. Instead, I spent a few days modifying my class, and jumped right in to teach, with a fair amount of trepidation.
You see, the first class was for students currently enrolled in the Aleph Ordination Program. This Kallah class was for a completely different audience.
There were several Rabbis, a few chaplains, and people who had already completed their careers. Two of the participants had been my teachers.
I was sure they were going to correct every citation to source material that I made. Instead, they were gracious and participatory. I taught and I learned. And at 73 years old (I turned 74 last week), I still had to fight off the voices that told me I was not good enough to fill this role.
But here is the good thing about getting older: Those fears don’t stop me.
I know I have learned a lot, and I now have some small amount of wisdom. I have developed enough arrogance to think some of that wisdom is worth sharing. And I know that sharing things that I have passion about gives me purpose and wakes me up each day in gratitude.
Conflict resolution, and its component parts, listening, civility and empathy is largely missing from current society, and I will do whatever I can do to make a difference in presenting those things, putting them front and center.
The participants in this class were amazing. There was Reb Steven, one of my former teachers who was warm and friendly and listened like he had something to learn. You may not realize this, but when someone listens that way, it is easier to speak.
Ah ha…how we listen affects how we are spoken to. A major lesson for conflict resolution.
And there was Reb Shulamit. She was the director of my program when I started my studies. Yet she said she came to the class only when she heard I was teaching it. With that in mind, how could I help but teach a successful class?
But why I really write this column was because in this class I met Amichai, full name Max Amichai Heppner. He was born in Amsterdam in 1933. His parents had left their home in Berlin earlier that year with the ascension of Hitler.
From the time he was 8, until the end of the war, Max was sheltered by a Dutch family. His experiences are recalled in his book, I Live in a Chickenhouse.
The book has his recollections and drawings from that childhood period. He did not talk much about those experiences in class, but his insights into humanity and its ability to wage war and seek peace were inspiring.
As we deal with the fears about the state of our world, its march towards the inhumane treatment of our fellow man, towards racism, homophobia, xenophobia, and of course antisemitism, we must find compassion for those less fortunate.
And we must treasure the few remaining holocaust survivors. They are an inspiration for remembering what can be accomplished in the face of unbelievable circumstances.
We use their example to remind ourselves that we need to acknowledge and accept that there are bad people in the world, or at least people who do really bad things.
But we cannot give up.
We may have to continue to adapt our strategies to fight this evil, but we must never give up.
Amichai. My people live.
We live because we have something to contribute.
And we never give up.
The post Never Give Up appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
Editor’s Note: Rabbi Rebecca Ratner Kamil is alerting us to a new caregiving program that is being tried out in various communities. The program will be featured in an upcoming Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast.
This is where Steadii comes in. Steadii is a company that provides FREE 1:1 caregiver coaching and support. I have been honored to be a member of the Steadii team for the last two years. We were born out of and still backed by an innovation team at Community Health Network, a hospital system based in Indianapolis.
We are a team of dedicated caregiver advocates who have experience working with the caregiver population. We provide our services virtually, so there is no need to travel, and it can be done on the caregiver’s schedule. Our sessions are ongoing, so people can feel as though they have a dedicated person invested in supporting them on their caregiving journey.
Issues we can help address include:
- Caregiver burnout and stress
- Family dynamics
- Caregiving logistics and resource navigation
- Self-care tools
- Grief and ambiguous loss
- Decision making around a loved one’s care
- Finding hope, meaning, and purpose
There are several ways to engage with Steadii.
First, there is a live chat that is monitored by advocates during business hours, where caregivers can ask questions and get more information about Steadii.
Second, there is an option for a 15-minute consultation, during which caregivers can get to know an advocate and learn more about the services we offer.
Finally, caregivers can sign up for ongoing support and get matched with an advocate who can meet with them for 45-minute sessions twice a month (or on a timetable that fits with the caregiver’s needs).
Unpaid family caregivers are incredibly important, and the work they do to support their loved ones often goes unnoticed or unrecognized. Steadii is here to change that, to answer the question that is left out of hospital rooms, clinic visits, and even our Jewish textual tradition: who is caring for the caregivers? Steadii is. Let us support you as you support your loved one.
We look forward to being featured on a Jewish Sacred Aging podcast episode in the fall and will share more then. In the meantime, feel free to go to the Steadii website to get more information.
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Editor’s Note: This essay by Rabbi Address originally appeared in the July 23, 2025 issue of the Jewish Community Voice of Southern New Jersey**.
This year, Tisha B’Av (the ninth day of the month of Av), will fall on August 3. Tisha B’Av, according to classic Biblical tradition, commemorates the destruction of the Temples in Jerusalem as well as other calamities, such as the Bar Kochba Revolution and the various historical expulsions from countries, such as Spain. In addition, as time has progressed, it is also an occasion to remember the Shoah and other more current catastrophic events. This is a fast day that may have its basis in a passage from Zechariah 8:19, which records the fast day of the “fifth” month. Likewise, it is tradition to read from the Book of Lamentations during services.
There are other traditions that surround this day, depending on the community in which you reside and worship. For many contemporary Jews, this day represents a challenge, for, to be honest, how many of your friends and neighbors mourn for the destruction of the ancient Temple? Now there are groups within the world-wide Jewish community that do mourn for the Temple and pray for its’ restoration, however, the vast majority of us do not. It is a challenge to promote the knowledge and observance of Tisha B’Av in modern American Judaism, especially when, during the course of the year, we do have observances that focus our attention on the wide variety of historical tragedies that have befallen us, especially after October 7.
We are, as you know, a people of history. We struggle with trying to make meaning out of what has happened to us as a people. So, let me suggest that this year, maybe we can take this Tisha B’Av and reflect not only on what we have lost as a people throughout history, but what we may have lost as individuals. I am not reflecting on the loss of people, or relationships. Rather, I am suggesting that we may focus on what has been lost in these recent years because of global events. There has been, in a way, a loss of innocence. For those of us who came to maturity in the 1960s and 1970s, we remember the moments of the Six Day War, the Yom Kippur War when Israel emerged as victors and not as victims. Our relationship with Israel was forged in those days, often resulting in a multi-generational bond that manifested itself in numerous trips and financial support.
Have we lost that? How many of our children and grandchildren share that same relationship and commitment? There is an increasing generational divide in our community over the role and status of Israel, and to deny that reality is to ignore how much has changed. We have done a very bad job in educating our younger generations on our history, the history of Israel and the geo-political realities of the modern world. How many of our congregations and organizations have sponsored on-going inter-generational dialogues on Israel? We can mourn the loss of meaningful education.
We can also mourn that uncomfortable reality that so much of the current wave of antisemitism has been met with silence from so many people that we thought of as allies in the fight for social justice. From October 7 on, so many colleagues and Jewish communal leaders have voiced frustration over a lack of support from individuals and groups that we marched with and supported in previous years.
Are we, as Bilaam emoted in the Book of Numbers, still “a people apart?” The discussion on social media, articles and books now has begun to debate if, despite the promise of American equality, we as Jews are still, to many, the “other.” Perhaps we mourn the loss of that fantasy of total acceptance, and in doing so, can begin to take steps to reinvigorate our community to gain strength and spiritual fortitude from within. We may be seeing a wave of this as so many colleagues, across the denominational lines, have reported an increase in the number of people seeking to study and become Jews.
Finally, the confluence these changes has validated is the fact that the Jewish community of this country is experiencing radical change. We may mourn that loss of what was as we grapple with what may be. The Jewish worldview is literally being reshaped in front of our eyes.
Dr. Steven Windmueller, in a recent blog post in the Times of Israel, commented on this major change: “We have left the postwar framework where we built our lives, framed our beliefs, and understood the world that would shape our destiny for the past 80 years. This extraordinary and successful cycle, 1945-2025, delivered for us a coherent world view. That experience has now ended.” Change is part of our history as Jews. Right now, as we live this restructuring, we again are faced with amazing choices. After we mourn for what was, we face that challenge of moving on. What and how we choose will create the Jewish community for our children and grandchildren. Once again, the choices are ours.
The post Tisha B’Av: For whom, for what do we mourn? appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
Sibling relationships can be one of the most rewarding and one of the most difficult. The people we choose for friends often make the best company while family dynamics can get in the way of living with deep affection, devotion and connection with our blood sisters and brothers. Siblings sharing harmony is ideal but not always a reality.
In the beginning stories of the Book of Genesis, the Bible tells not such a rosy perspective of sibling relationships by showing the track record for sibling togetherness being not so good but do have lessons for us to learn:
- Cain and Abel, Genesis 4, is the first sibling relationship that shows dangers of jealousy and anger that’s never been addressed and ends in tragedy. It teaches us the importance of personal responsibility and consequences of uncontrolled rivalry.
- Jacob and Esau, Genesis 25-33, is the story of deception, estrangement and eventually reconciliation. What we learn is that teshuvah (repentance), forgiveness and how relationships can grow apart and come back together is possible.
- Joseph and His Brothers, Genesis 37-50, is about Jewish ethics, relating betrayal and yet, how the power of forgiveness, emotional growth and family healing is achievable. Such a profound story that successfully transferred into an amazing technicolor Broadway musical!
Though some relationships in later generations slightly improved, rabbinic tradition surprisingly offers little narrative for guiding tensions between siblings, with no obligations being imposed.
Dr. Jacob Milgrom, a respected American-Israeli biblical scholar and rabbi, pointed out in an interview that the root of the Hebrew word ah, brother, is ahoh (aleph-het-heh), meaning to stitch together, mend, heal the breach. Siblings, and, by extension, all family members are supposed to be there to support each other, to mend whatever tears that happen in a family member’s life, and to stitch the family together repeatedly, as each member of the family faces the vicissitudes of life. However, families do not always function this way.
He continues with, “Because family relationships are so close, people can and do rub up against each other in ways more frequent and more hurtful than what happens in most other relationships and more frequent because of the constant interactions that often characterize family relationships, and more hurtful because one expects, or at least hopes for, warm and supportive ties with the members of one’s family, and when that does not happen, it hurts all the more because of the dashed expectations and hopes.”
Because we are not commanded to like our siblings but are called to strive for peace, compassion and reconciliation via Shalom Bayit, peace in the home, including with siblings, working to repair broken ties, patience with each other’s flaws, respect for different opinions, is a highly valued priority in Judaism.
You know the old saying, “Put 10 Jews in a room and you’ll have 100 different opinions,” well, recently I was with six Jewish women for what was meant to be a pleasant birthday lunch that turned out to be a contentious afternoon with conversation that fulfilled the old saying! A lovely colorful table was set, a buffet of sumptuous food was presented, and six, Jewish, educated and accomplished ladies experienced an afternoon that wasn’t Kumbaya.
After a round table of each guest saying something special about the birthday girl, that included laughs, memories and smiles, someone asked, “Where is your younger sister, I just noticed she’s not here!”
Then a cousin quickly blurted, “Oh, don’t ask! After decades of not getting along, they finally had it out!”
That instantly silenced the room while the birthday gal abruptly turned pale and left the table. All the guests looked perplexed as we had always seen what seemed to be a loving, sisterly relationship. The cousin looked embarrassed for speaking out while the middle sister went after our very upset friend.
Expressing apologies for her emotional outburst after returning to the room, uncomfortable small talk took place until someone popped up and said, “Ok! Most of us have known each other since our school days, we’ve known your family most of our lives, we knew your parents well, may they rest in peace, and any strife among your family is shocking to us! Spill why your sister is not here at this monumental birthday!”
It took some time for the birthday girl to compose herself as we all anxiously awaited some awful story.
But with tears in her eyes, our friend whimpered, “I am eight years older than my sister, our other sister is in between us, and from an early age, I simply didn’t like my baby sister. As the youngest, she was doted upon by our parents and grandparents, like she was some gift from heaven. She was adorable, I will say, she had personality, and she seemed to know all that and played it to the hilt.
“I didn’t know all the psychological references, like jealousy, at eight and nine years old and it was nothing I could verbalize, I just knew she was a thorn in my side. I didn’t feel that with our middle sister, so I ignored the uncomfortableness that was churning in me. Not to say, I didn’t play with her or feed or watch over her, I did. In fact, my other sister and I pretended she was a Barbie Doll, dressing her up, putting makeup on her. It was fun.
“But as we all got older and I was so many years ahead of her in school, we had no common interests or friends, in our music or pop culture or movies. I went off to college, got married and we were worlds apart in our growth and I am ashamed to say, I paid little attention to her over the years. I wasn’t privy to her struggles after our father died, I had my own family to care for while I grieved.
“I will admit now, after therapy, much of this disconnect was my fault. I can now say as an adult, jealousy was part of it, the overabundance of time and attention on her left me feeling abandoned and as the oldest I had so many more responsibilities than my sisters, and I certainly didn’t feel as cute or pretty as she was. That hurt a lot.
“When she realized this big birthday was approaching, she reached out and blatantly asked me, ‘Why don’t you like me?’ I was taken aback by her forthcoming, and I shut down and couldn’t answer. I admired her for taking the first step. She suggested therapy for us, and we have had several sessions but I can’t say it’s helped, in fact, I think it has pushed us further apart. We agreed it would be best to continue with individual therapy for a while, then come back together and see if we can mend our hurt feelings and find the root of the pain. Oh, yes, she is deeply hurting. I was so wound up in my own issues over the years that I had no clue she felt abandoned by me, especially after our parents were both gone. So, our state of unraveling our past is much more complex than either of us thought and agreed we both wouldn’t be comfortable with her here today. But I must say publicly, I would be the first to offer a kidney if she needed one.”
Silence was the state of the room for an uncomfortable amount of time until someone raised the question, “Who else doesn’t like any of their siblings?” The sound of silence was so loud that everyone seemed to be wiggling with awkwardness and unease and finally one lady stood up and exclaimed, “I have two younger brothers that I can’t stand! Do I love them because we share DNA, parents and family history, yes. Would I seek either of them out as friends, no. They are both selfish in different ways, they have zero Social Intelligence, meaning they have no clue about how others feel, and certainly never ask the right questions. They are the stars in their own stories and others don’t fit into their narratives. There! I said it out loud and it feels great!”
Promptly, another gal stood up and shared, “When my parents got married, they had no money, no college education, no inheritance. They both worked two jobs for many years when I was a child. I was home a lot by myself, learned to cook for myself, amuse myself, and do my own homework. When they were home or on Sundays, they were loving and attentive to me, which I was so grateful for. When I was about 9, they were able to open a small grocery store and within a few years it was very successful, and we suddenly had money. We moved to a nicer neighborhood, and my mother had twins. My siblings had many more “things” than I did, toys, and games, vacations, a TV in each of their rooms. All things I never had. I was happy about my parents’ new state of success, of course, but I was angry at how differently we were raised.
“Don’t ever think because you have the same parents, you are raised exactly the same. It’s not true! Finances, where you live, how much time parents have to spend with you and where you are in the sibling line of age all are instrumental on the impact of sibling relationships. Because I was so much older than the twins, we drifted apart emotionally and with any depth, but we do come together for holidays and special occasions. We just aren’t super close, and I feel that’s a loss for all of us.”
“All I’m going to say,” another woman shared, “is that having been raised in a divorced family, where both parents remarried, had more kids, plus suddenly step siblings are thrown into the mix, you don’t have time today to hear all my tales of woe! It was often fun with so many of us but it was more often harrowing! You liked some of the kids but not the others. Try to maneuver that! You didn’t know which parent to listen to, which sibling had your back, and how could you ever have some privacy. Taking a shower was the best part of my day! We are now all scattered and don’t communicate often. I’ve had to create friendships as my chosen family.”
“I was raised in an Orthodox family, in an Orthodox neighborhood where the more kids you had, the more respected you were. I was the only girl among six boys. They went to yeshiva, and I cooked and cleaned everyday alongside my mother after my sparce schooling. All I wanted was to be educated like my brothers and all I was told was that my job was to get married, have lots of children and take care of a home. I can’t say if I liked or loved my brothers because I actually had no access to them as individuals, I didn’t know them.
“At 18, I left home and traveled across-country with a little money my Bubbe left me. I rejected all my past religious norms and created comfortable ones I could live with, without guilt. As you all know, today, my loving husband and I own our own business, we have two sweet children who have my full attention. I traveled back home for each of my parents’ funerals and had some dialogue with three of my brothers who I have nice relationships with as adults but nothing with the others. Knowing and loving some of my siblings came very late in life and I feel blessed and grateful for having them in my family today.”
My personal contribution about my sibling angst is the story of our parents being killed in a car accident when I was 16, my brothers were 13 and 7, very impressionable ages to be without a father.
Our little Russian-born Bubbe came to our home and raised us, doing the cooking, cleaning and loving us dearly. After some time, I realized I was head-of-household, as Bubbe didn’t drive, she went to bed right after dinner and was forever in deep mourning with the loss of our parents. She was remarkable in all she did and how much love, attention, affection, and mostly the wisdom she gave us.
We have always agreed on Bubbe’s unbelievable role she played in our lives. She always told us, “You live for the living. You mourn, you cry, you start to eat, then you laugh again.” And that is how we lived our lives.
I was the one who drove the boys to sports practices, Hebrew school, haircuts, orthodontist, doctor appointments, etc. while taking Bubbe to wherever she needed to go. I did it with the spirit that this is what my parents would expect of me. No anger but with lots of gratitude that I survived the crash.
Both brothers lived with me and my husband while they were in their teens and 20s, they married (both marriages are over 40 years) and had children (they have been very caring and giving fathers). I always felt no siblings could ever be as close as we were for all that we shared together.
But the older we got, the more I realized that our experiences right after the accident came from very different perspectives. Our lenses had been shadowed by our individual ordeals, how we dealt with the deaths, our new living conditions, and the fact that we were orphaned. We didn’t know anyone else who was orphaned. We were suddenly different than our peers.
But elements of our personal journeys have kept us at arm’s length for being as close as we once were. While I was always available to talk about the actual moments of the accident, they never asked. Maybe they thought it was too painful for me. Or maybe they didn’t want to know. And I haven’t asked. Maybe I expected too much compassion and support from them.
We don’t live in the same part of the state, finances vary, life’s trials and tribulations have been different. I’m so sad that we don’t share a lot in common anymore.
My middle brother and I have felt resentment from our younger brother because we had more time with our parents and more great memories to share. He says he doesn’t remember a lot, which sometimes is, and not surprising. He refers to our parents by their first names and not Mommy and Daddy because I believe that to be his scars for not knowing them longer and it’s difficult for him to say the words.
I believe my middle brother suffered the most by not having a father during his teen years, while trying to be the man-of-the-house.
Bubbe protected him a lot, “He shouldn’t have to take out the garbage because he has to save his muscles to play ball.” I saw my role as caretaker for everyone and never got out of that role. Maybe that is why they haven’t related to me just as a sister but always as a mother figure. Maybe secretly, they thought it would have been better if at least one of our parents had lived instead of me.
But with Bubbe’s love and guidance, not one of us suffered from drug or alcohol abuse. And it was the 60s! We have all lived full, interesting, worthy Jewish lives, raised great kids and have been blessed with love. Everything I think our parents would have wanted for us.
I just wish we could be closer in our older years, share more then, “How’s the weather there?” But I know my brothers and what they are and are not capable of talking about. So, I leave it at that, with reconciling we each had our own journey that made us who we are today.
A very unusual birthday party it was! But all the women agreed it was a learning experience with a subject not often discussed or even thought about. We all enjoyed the openness and transparency we shared and decided these were our thoughts and takeaways:
- Liking your siblings is more about shared values, mutual respect and compatibility.
- Is shared DNA the only reason to like or love your siblings?
- Is it OK to NOT like the people your siblings have grown into?
- Has the quality of your sibling relationships in childhood VS in adulthood changed, for the good or not so good?
- Is it OK to just be friends with your siblings?
- Do we make assumptions that we take sibling relationships for granted?
And, the questions beg,
“IS it OK to NOT LOVE or LIKE YOUR SIBLINGS?”
The post Do You Like Your Siblings? appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
You are invited to join in a monthly open-ended discussion on the issues that concern us as we age. This is a conversation on the ideas, joys, challenges and concerns that all of us have and how Jewish tradition can speak to us.
Please register for the next session. NO COST
The Webinars will be facilitated by Rabbi Richard Address and Rabbi Mark Levin.
August 18, 2025 – 4:00-5.30 PM EDT/3:00-4:30 CDT
To sign up email markhowardlevin@gmail.com and put “We’re Aging” in subject line. A zoom code will be sent.
The post Next Session 8/18 4 p.m. EDT/3 p.m. CDT – From Both Sides Now: Monthly Conversations on Our Life’s Journey appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Rabbi Lance Sussman discusses his latest book, the third in a memoir trilogy, titled Portrait of a Rabbi-Historian: How Did We Get Here? The conversation explores the evolution of American Judaism, the role of a Rabbi Historian, and the historical context of Jewish rights in America. Rabbi Sussman discusses key figures like Isaac Leeser and the impact of social justice on Reform Judaism, as well as the significance of Albert Einstein’s 1934 speech at Knesset Israel.
What does it mean to be both a rabbi and a historian in modern America?
In Portrait of a Rabbi-Historian: How Did We Get Here?, Rabbi Lance J. Sussman, Ph.D., presents a compelling anthology of essays exploring the evolution of American Jewish history, Reform Judaism, and religious leadership through the eyes of a scholar deeply rooted in both pulpit and academia.
Spanning over forty years of research and reflection, this collection brings together 36 essays that examine topics such as American Jewish history before and after the Civil War, the role of figures like Isaac Leeser, the impact of the 1883 Trefa Banquet, and the transformation of synagogue architecture. Readers will discover fresh insights into the development of Jewish communities, the intersection of Jewish and American identities, and the challenges faced by Reform Jewish leadership.
Sussman’s work is deeply informed by Jewish historiography, original source analysis, and personal experience. His dual career as both rabbi and professor offers a rare perspective that blends academic rigor with lived spiritual engagement.
Perfect for readers interested in Jewish community studies, synagogue life, interfaith relations, and American religious history, this book offers not just historical facts, but a meaningful narrative of cultural continuity, faith, and change.
Whether you are a student of Jewish history, a member of the clergy, or a curious lay reader, this anthology invites you to explore how the American Jewish story has unfolded—and where it might go next.
Start your journey into American Jewish history today.
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions.
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- Amazon Music About the GuestRabbi Lance J. Sussman, Ph.D.Since beginning his service as the eighth Senior Rabbi of KI in July 2001, Rabbi Sussman has had a transformative impact on the congregation and the greater Philadelphia region, as well as nationally, through his scholarship, leadership, and diverse community and educational activities. Rabbi Sussman is Chair of the Board of Governors and Professor of Jewish History. of Gratz College in Melrose Park, PA. Gratz College is the oldest non-denominational Jewish institute of higher learning in the world and is the home of the first online Ph.D. program in Holocaust and Genocide Studies.
Sussman serves as Senior Scholar of Roots of Reform Judaism and was a past national Chair of the CCAR Press, the publishing arm of the Central Conference of American Rabbis. He formerly served as a Trustee of the Katz Center for Advanced Judaic Studies at the University of Pennsylvania and the American Jewish Historical Society; and is an active member of the Academic Advisory and Editorial Board of the American Jewish Archives (Cincinnati). He is the founding president of the Cheltenham Area Multifaith Council and a former Chair of the Delaware Valley Association of Reform Rabbis.
Sussman has been involved nationally in promoting Jewish-Muslim dialogue. In recent years, KI has intensified its Social Action programs and now offers monthly home cooked meals to the food insecure and runs a tutorial program at the Lowell School in Olney. Sussman has also helped developed an outreach program to residents of Federation Housing including an annual Hanukkah dinner.
Previously, Rabbi Sussman served as Chair of the Jewish Studies Department at Binghamton University-SUNY. He has taught courses in Jewish History at Princeton University, Hebrew Union College in New York City, Rutgers University, Temple University and Hunter College. Rabbi Sussman has appeared in several PBS specials on Religion in America and is currently working on a documentary on the Philadelphia Jewish experience with with film producer Sam Katz.
Rabbi Sussman has published numerous books and articles, including Isaac Lesser and the Making of American Judaism, and Sharing Sacred Moments (a collection of his sermons); he also served as an editor of Reform Judaism in America: A Biographical Dictionary and Sourcebook. Most recently, he published a memorial study of the 24 members of KI who fell in service to the United States from the Civil War to the present. His dynamic, illustrated lectures on a wide array of topics range from Biblical to American, military and world history to Jews in arts, sports, film and more.
As KI’s spiritual leader, Rabbi Sussman nurtures a diverse and accepting congregation that represents a broad constituency in its nearly 1,000-member families. KI welcomes interfaith and LGBQT+ families and demonstrates a strong commitment to inclusiveness and social action in its many programs. Among Rabbi Sussman’s many initiatives at KI was the development of the synagogue’s seven Core Values, which are proudly displayed on colorful banners for all to see at KI’s main entrance. Rabbi Sussman also created the KI Puppets, and enjoys teaching young children through his role as “Torah Turtle”—one of the puppets that appears regularly in KI’s preschool and at Tot Shabbat services. A pioneer in Visual Prayer, Sussman led the initiative to create PowerPoint art-liturgy at KI and install the complex technology to support the process. Nationally, Rabbi Sussman was Chair of the Press of the Central Conference of American Rabbis when it launched its new Mishkhan prayer book series and oversaw the production of the ground breaking project. For over fifteen years, Sussman has led monthly Shabbat services at the Rydal retirement community in Jenkintown.
A prolific historian, Rabbi Sussman writes on a wide range of topics from the history of Art in Judaism to Jews and the American Civil War. He enjoys researching the history of KI, which was the fourth congregation to be established by the expanding Jewish community of Philadelphia when it was founded in March 1847. In 1855 the previously Orthodox congregation adopted Reform Judaism, becoming the first progressive congregation in Philadelphia and only the fifth in the country to embrace the movement of radical experimentation. Sussman is now leading an effort to create a digital, online KI Archives, the first of its kind, called kipah.org with plans to post 100,000 historic documents online. He has also led numerous international trips focusing on Jewish heritage in Israel, Germany, Austria, the Czech Republic, Poland, Holland and Cuba.
Under Rabbi Sussman’s leadership, KI has been at the cutting of the Reform movement while maintaining the core and essence of Jewish practice and values. In July of 2022, Rabbi Sussman begins a new chapter at KI as Rabbi Emeritus.
Rabbi Sussman and his wife, Liz, Director of the KI Preschool and founder of KI’s Shir Joy Choir, share the joy of raising their children Benjamin & Kelly, Joshua & Sheri, Micah, Judah and Chana. The Sussmans have two grandchildren, Sophie and Charlotte.
The post Exploring American Jewish History with Rabbi Lance Sussman – SOM 7/25/2025 appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
In the Summer 2024 issue of the quarterly Humanistic Judaism Magazine, Rabbi Adam Chalom lays out the case for the continuing need for expertise in the movement. He states:
“The best Humanistic rabbis work as partners in creating Jewish experiences that are both rooted and relevant. They are authorities without being authoritarian, experts with open minds. They admit what they do not know, they allow and even encourage disagreement, and their work uses Jewish culture and tradition to serve Humanistic Jewish needs rather than force Humanistic Jews serve Jewish tradition.”
How interesting that, now, more than ever, questions regarding the value of expertise pervade our entire society, including issues of medicine and health. While the role of an expert has indeed shifted from that of an infallible authoritarian to more of a trusted guide, the value of expertise in general is being questioned by many who view such experts as members of a corrupted elitist class. They are thought to, at best, serve their own interests, and at worst, are members of a conspiracy to defraud, manipulate, and abuse laypeople and members of the public in service of their own selfish needs.
The current Make America Healthy Again movement might have some worthwhile ideas associated with it and does highlight the need for greater scientific independence from the “health-industrial complex” that rules so much of our system. However, its philosophy thrives on the very cynical notion that not only are all medical experts in the pocket of monied interests, but that every recommendation they make is designed to mislead the public and cement their positions of power. While not every medical study is free from bias, such a rejection of basic knowledge (flawed as it might be) and presumption of nefarious intentions, is a descent into a type of nihilism that will lead to a resurgence of deadly infectious diseases and future generations that are progressively less healthy than their parents.
For quite some time, the opinions of medical experts were taken at face value with little questioning or resistance. But these days, much the same winds of change affecting the rabbinate have swept over medicine as well. The democratization of health information via the internet, and now artificial intelligence, means that the information gap between physicians and patients has narrowed. For the layperson, such readily available information gives the perception of competence and mastery of the subject, albeit in the absence of the invaluable wisdom gained in medical training and practice. Gaining access to the power of “Dr. Google” appears to diminish the value of trained medical professionals. However, where true knowledge is a combination of raw information and experience, there will always be something gained from consulting expertise.
Judaism has much to say on the topic and is quite complimentary of expertise. From the many legends surrounding the purported wisdom of King Solomon to the 16th Century Italian rabbi Sforno’s admiration for the skill of the builder of the Tabernacle, Betzalel, to the Nobel Prize winning academic and scientific achievements of modern Jews, there is no doubt that the accumulation of knowledge and expertise is valued and encouraged in our Jewish tradition. Proverbs 23:1 tells us:
See a man skilled at his work –
He shall attend upon kings;
He shall not attend upon obscure men.
So, what to do when the winds of societal and political change render expertise not only passe, but dangerous to the health and well-being of the masses? What to do when these headwinds are opposed to the values of Judaism? I believe that despite any resistance that might arise to our efforts, we must continue to press on with the work of holding truth and facts sacrosanct and do our best to combat and reverse the cynicism that has bubbled up. These are no easy tasks, but they are essential to weather this particular moment in history and remain intact on the other side.
This is not to say that we shouldn’t be engaging in critical thinking or making our own decisions regarding our health. On the contrary, I encourage one and all to be informed about their health and medical conditions, and to appreciate and comprehend the risks and benefits of every treatment and every test. Engaging in partnership with healthcare professionals is the key to creating satisfying relationships and good outcomes. Identifying bias and conflicts of interest where they exist (and they do exist), are essential tasks. However, we need to start from a place of agreement on what constitutes facts, truth and knowledge; if we discard the baby with the bathwater, we lose access to the real science and life-saving work that the past century has gifted us, as well as any sense of confidence and faith that there is a path to better health and a better world.
The post Judaism and Medicine: Where Do Experts Stand? appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
Society labels people over age 60 as oldConceiving of retired the same as really tired
Then dig in, describing it in grave language
In my 80s, I simply don’t feel or act elderly
I can’t call myself young, but I still feel youthful
Observe the openness of my mind, heart, arms
Ready to connect with friends and strangers
Passionate to dive into growth adventures
Being gladly unaware of my expiration date
I celebrate each day as finding a treasure
Who knows, it could be my curtain-closing day
On each birthday I review the episodes I lived
Look in the mirror to sense my life’s quality now
Reflect on what I aspire to experience ahead
Am I happy? Yes, but I can be content anywhere
Do I feel fulfilled? No, not now and not yet
I’m living at the 90% mark of my potential
Should I rest satisfied with this high number?
Most seniors would delight to hit that height
Yet, I crave to climb to 100%, or as close to it
As my wellness, resources and luck will allow
I won’t let good be the cop out for great
We don’t live in a world of scripted perfection
I echo Einstein about the Universe being friendly
I do my optimal to uplift myself and share my magic
The post Going for 100% in My 80s appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Rabbi Michael Marmur discusses his book, Living the Letters: An Alphabet of Emerging Jewish Thought, which explores contemporary Jewish thought through the lens of the Hebrew alphabet. He delves into themes of anxiety as a catalyst for creativity, the tension between autonomy and covenant in modern Judaism, and the challenges of maintaining Jewish identity in a rapidly changing world. Marmur emphasizes the importance of hope amidst uncertainty and the need for a renewed commitment to Jewish practices that resonate with today’s realities.
In this work, Michael Marmur employs the structure of the Hebrew alphabet to set out elements of an emerging Jewish theology, presenting a case for the urgent relevance of Jewish life at a time of deepening rupture and accelerating change. He presents core components of a theory and practice of contemporary Judaism.
The Hebrew alphabet has long beguiled and preoccupied Biblical authors and liturgical poets, rationalists and mystics, conservatives and radicals. It has served as a locus of theological speculation, an engine of creativity and a recurrent motif throughout the cycle of life, from childhood instruction to graveside recitation. For each letter of the Hebrew alphabet, Marmur proposes a concept, gleaned from theology, philosophy, ritual, politics, community and other fields. Readers are invited to combine and deploy them in imagining a Judaism of tomorrow.
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions.
Listen to the Audio PodcastYou can listen to the audio podcast version in the player below, or subscribe to the podcast in one of the popular platforms by clicking one of the buttons below the player.
- Apple Podcasts
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- Amazon Music About the GuestRabbi Michael Marmur, Ph.D.Michael Marmur is Associate Professor of Jewish Theology at Hebrew Union College/Jerusalem. Until July 2018 he served as the Jack, Joseph and Morton Mandel Provost at Hebrew Union College, having previously been Dean of the Jerusalem campus. After some 20 years in administrative capacities, he now concentrates his energies on teaching and writing.
Born and raised in England, Rabbi Marmur completed a B.A. Degree in Modern History at the University of Oxford before moving to Israel in 1984. While studying for an M.A. in Ancient Jewish History at the Hebrew University of Jerusalem, he completed his studies in the Israel Rabbinic Program of Hebrew Union College in Jerusalem, and was ordained in 1992. For six years following his ordination, he worked as rabbi and teacher at the Leo Baeck Education Center in Haifa. He has been an employee of HUC-JIR since 1997.
Michael Marmur served for three years as Chair of the Board of Rabbis for Human Rights and is still a member of its Board. He has lectured and taught courses in several countries around the world.
The post SOM 7/18/2025: Exploring Contemporary Jewish Thought through the Hebrew Alphabet appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
Editor’s Note: This article was previously published in the Jewish Community Voice of Southern New Jersey and is reprinted here with permission.
In the politically charged news environment today, there have been a number of dramatic changes in who reports on the news for the major publications and broadcast outlets commonly called “mainstream” or “corporate owned” media.
Thanks to a relatively new publishing platform called Substack.com, it’s no longer necessary for high-profile journalists who lose their jobs at these publications to find another lofty perch at a different media outlet.
Some of the prominent journalists now on Substack include Jim Acosta, formerly of CNN; Dan Rather of CBS; Jennifer Rubin of the Washington Post, who formed a completely new newspaper like publication called The Contrarian with her partner Norm Eisen, who was ethics chief in the Obama Administration. They have also recruited a number of other well-known commentators to write for them.
Rabbi Address is using Substack for additional commentary beyond JewishSacredAging.com, and I’ve recently launched a Substack for news and comment. More information about that is below.
Substack allows writers, documentarians, commentators, and multimedia journalists to publish their stories and reports to an audience made up of a mix of free and paid subscribers, with an ecosystem that lets readers share stories they like with other Substack subscribers and interact with the writers who produce them.
Anyone can create a Substack publication. It’s a lot like creating a presence on a social media site like Facebook, except it doesn’t have the same heavy advertising presence, and there is no secret algorithm deciding what posts people actually see. Once you set up your page, you can automatically email people and post on your social media to let people know they can find your work on Substack.
Most people use the Substack provided URL for their site, which is typically “mysite.substack.com,” but for a one-time $50 fee, you can use a custom domain name, which is what I do. My Substack is called RadioFreeSomewhere.com, and I focus on reporting news stories and providing interviews with people involved in social action and political conversations.
Substack passes through to its writers 100% of the subscription fees people pay. Substack lets you provide different levels of content depending on peoples’ subscriptions, so for example, I recently posted a video interview I conducted with Steve Herman, the chief national correspondent of Voice of America about efforts to shut down the broadcaster. Free subscribers can watch an eight minute preview of the interview. Paid subscribers get to see the entire 30-minute conversation.
When you create a new post on Substack, you can insert photos, videos, audio recordings, and links to other sites, just like you can do on a blog or many social media sites. When you finish and are ready to publish, Substack allows you to schedule the publication and select how you will notify people about the post. It also automatically generates one-click links to share the post on social media. Its statistics report on how many subscribers you have, how they break down between free and paid, and you can always contact them directly because you get all of their email addresses.
One of Substack’s coolest features is the ability for a publisher to schedule a live video feed on a moment’s notice. You can use sophisticated livestream tools if you want, but you can also go live to video using a smart phone and the Substack app. I did some live reports from recent protests in Westmont and Wilmington that you can still watch, because once a live report is over, it archives automatically for playback on demand.
It’s really convenient to be able to cover spot news live without carrying a big camera and tripod. It gives the reporting an immediacy and intimacy you don’t always get. And with the mainstream media shrinking the number of street news teams they support, independent reporting may be the only way many people can learn what’s happening in their communities.
As mainstream media struggle to remain relevant, Substack may point the way to a new era of very robust independent reporting. It’s definitely worth taking a look. Email steve@compuschmooze.com and tell me about your experiences with Substack.com. Follow me on Bluesky at @podcaststeve.bsky.app or at RadioFreeSomewhere.com on Substack.
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On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Rabbis Bennett Miller and Gary Glickstein discuss the activities of the National Association of Retired Reform Rabbis (NAORRR) and their collaboration with Maram, the professional organization for Reform rabbis in Israel. The discussion highlights the significance of these partnerships, the challenges faced by Reform rabbis, and the ongoing efforts to build connections between American and Israeli congregations.
Key Discussion Points* The role of NAORRR in supporting retired Reform rabbis and fostering connections with Israeli colleagues. * Insights into the collaboration with Maram and the impact of shared experiences and learning. * The challenges faced by Reform rabbis in Israel, including societal tensions and security concerns. * The importance of building bridges between American and Israeli congregations to foster mutual support and understanding. * Future plans for NAORRR, including continued collaboration and support for Reform rabbis in Israel.
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions.
Listen to the Audio PodcastYou can listen to the audio podcast version in the player below, or subscribe to the podcast in one of the popular platforms by clicking one of the buttons below the player.
- Apple Podcasts
- YouTube
- Spotify
- Podchaser
- Amazon Music
About the GuestsRabbi Gary GlicksteinRabbi Gary A. Glickstein was the spiritual leader of Temple Beth Sholom between1985-2018. He received his Bachelor of Arts from the University of California, Los Angeles, in 1971. He continued his education at Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion in Cincinnati, Ohio, and received his rabbinical ordination in 1974.
Rabbi Glickstein served as Assistant Rabbi of Congregation Bene Israel/Rockdale in Cincinnati, Ohio from 1974-1977 and then became Rabbi of Temple Sinai in Worcester, Massachusetts from 1977-1985.
In 1985, Rabbi Glickstein came to Temple Beth Sholom in Miami Beach as a vibrant, young scholar to serve as Senior Rabbi. His vitality and youthful approach have attracted many new members over the years as he has encouraged a greater involvement of the congregation in synagogue and Jewish life.
Rabbi Glickstein has distinguished himself as one of the leaders of the Miami community. He is the founding Executive Director of the Woldenberg Center for Jewish Life and serves on the advisory boards of the Lehrman Community Day School and the Greater Miami Coalition for a Drug Free Community. He is a board member and finance committee member of the Greater Miami Jewish Federation. He serves as a board member for the Foundation for Jewish Philanthropies, is a board member and advisory board member for the Golden Care Foundation and is Past President of the Greater Miami Chapter Board of American Friends of the Hebrew University. Rabbi Glickstein is also Past President of the Rabbinical Association of Greater Miami.
Nationally, Rabbi Glickstein has distinguished himself as Past Chairman, Executive Committee of the UJA National Rabbinic Cabinet, Past Chairman and President of the National Rabbinic Cabinet of Israel Bonds and the Treasurer of the Central Conference of American Rabbis. He is also a board member of the American Friends of ALYN Hospital.
Rabbi Glickstein’s commitment to the cross-cultural community in Miami is evidenced by his position as Past Chairman of the Religious Leaders Coalition and membership on the Executive Committee and Past Chair of the Education Committee for the Miami Coalition for a Drug Free Community. He is also a Past Board Member for the Miami Human Rights Commission and the Past Chairman of the Judaic Studies Advisory Committee to the president of Barry University.
Rabbi Bennett F. MillerRabbi Bennett F. Miller, a native of Rochester, N.Y., is a graduate of the University of Cincinnati. He earned a Master of Arts and Hebrew Letters from the Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion in Cincinnati where he was ordained a Rabbi in 1974. He also earned his doctorate from Princeton Theological Seminary in 1988. In March 1999, he was awarded a Doctorate of Divinity Degree from the Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion. In 2008, Rabbi Miller completed a Certificate in Fund Raising at the George Heyman Center for Non-Profit Management and Fund Raising at New York University.
Rabbi Miller is rabbi emeritus of Anshe Emeth Memorial Temple in New Brunswick, New Jersey. He has been associated with Anshe Emeth since 1974. Founded in 1859, Anshe Emeth is the third oldest congregation in New Jersey. Before coming to Anshe Emeth, he was the spiritual leader of Congregation Havurah in Buffalo, N.Y. and the New Jersey State Advisory Council on the Holocaust.
Since October 2012, Rabbi Miller was elected to serve as the national Chair of the Association of Reform Zionists of America (ARZA). ARZA is the Zionist arm of the Reform Movement of North America. In his capacity as Chair, Rabbi Miller represents a membership of nearly 25,000 Zionists in Reform Congregations throughout the United States. Rabbi Miller also serves on the Board of Governors of the Jewish Agency for Israel.
His varied activities include being the Chair of the National Rabbinic Cabinet of the United Jewish Communities. He has also served as a contributor to the Judaica Series of the Young Leadership Cabinet of United Jewish Appeal and to its rabbinic publication, The Orchard.
He currently serves as a member on the Board of Trustees of the Union for Reform Judaism. Rabbi Miller has served as Co-Chairman of the Union for Reform Judaism Commission on Synagogue Management and as founding Co-Chairman of the Union for Reform Judaism Commission on Synagogue Music (formerly, the Union of American Hebrew Congregations).
In the New Brunswick community, Rabbi Miller is the founding Chairman of the Clinical Pastoral Education Committee at Robert Wood Johnson University Hospital and continues to serve as its Chairman. He is the Jewish Chaplain to the New Brunswick Police Force. He has served on the Board of Elijah’s Promise, a non-profit interfaith organization dedicated to providing meals to the homeless and needy in New Brunswick. He served also on the New Brunswick Tercentennial Executive Committee.
At the Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion, Rabbi Miller serves as Instructor in Pastoral Theology in the Doctor of Ministry Program. He is also a member of the Clinical Faculty of the Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion and he served as Instructor in Liturgy at the Jerusalem campus of the College-Institute.
Rabbi Miller is the author of Reform Jewish Identity: Developing A Program of Ministry to Guide the New Member of A Reform Synagogue to Mature Jewish Living. He is also the author of Siduree: A Prayerbook for Young Children, The Songs of Anshe Emeth for Shabbat, and numerous creative worship services. Rabbi Miller has also written the teacher’s guide to Why Pray? published by the Union of American Hebrew Congregations. He has had articles published in Compass Magazine and other periodicals and served for ten years as consultant to The Jewish Star, the newspaper of the Jewish Federation of Greater Middlesex County.
Rabbi Miller and his wife Joan are residents of Monroe Township, New Jersey. They are the parents of two daughters, Rabbi Ellie Miller of West Orange, New Jersey and Carrie Miller Nussbaum of Short Hills, New Jersey and proud grandparents of Sam Miller Lynn, Max Miller Nussbaum, Meg and Jack Miller Lynn, Gabriel Miller Nussbaum, and Benjamin Miller Nussbaum.
The post Building Bridges: Retired Reform Rabbis in America and Israel – Seekers of Meaning 7/11/2025 appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
I’ve served as interim rabbi for five synagogues, traveling from Indiana to Missouri to Allentown, to Riverside, California, and then to Danville, California. Now I’m on my way to shul number six: Sun City Center, Florida.
It’s been an unusual but meaningful way to be a rabbi, serving congregations for a limited time. Contrary to what many congregants assume when I’m introduced as their interim for the coming year, I’m not just there to keep the home fires burning between the last rabbi and the next. My role is to help the community face some of its challenges, begin the process of resolving them, and prepare for whoever comes next.
An interim rabbi arrives, usually at the beginning of July, gets to know as many congregants as possible, fulfills the usual rabbinic duties, and helps the synagogue begin to address issues it may have avoided for years. I’ve sometimes compared the role to Mary Poppins: flying in with the help of an umbrella, helping the children get along better with their father, then flying out again with the same umbrella. Or, like the old Boy Scout pledge, to leave the campsite better than I found it.
As I write this, my wife and I are spending the night at a Fairfield by Marriott on our drive from Danville to Sun City Center, averaging about 500 miles a day. I expect to arrive in the Florida humidity in three days.
Beth Israel stands out among my interim positions for one reason in particular: its demographic. Sun City Center is home to some 30,000 residents, all over the age of 55. That means the synagogue is composed entirely of seniors. My work will involve helping them nurture their sense of connection, to each other as a family, and to Jewish tradition. To support them as a vibrant, purposeful community, deeply rooted in one another. I expect they’re already well into that groove. Part of my job will be to help strengthen that shared spirit, and to participate in it as well.
This is a community made up of people who have come from all over the country, especially the Northeast. That being so, the synagogue becomes a kind of surrogate family, something less common in most congregations. Many synagogues refer to themselves as a congregational family. But in this case, where children and grandchildren may be far away, the need for such a family is more deeply felt.
I must add that since my residency in Riverside, California, two years ago, my wife Betsy has joined this slightly nutty ramble around the United States. Having her with me has brought two great benefits. First, I have the companionship of my wife, with whom I get to share this adventure. And second, her presence in the life of the congregation has been a boon to the synagogue. I do not exaggerate. Betsy has engaged the membership of two congregations now, and, as we’ve moved on, has left behind many good friends, a true reflection of her personality.
I hope to chronicle this experience and share my reflections with you. Why? Well, why not? Writing about synagogue life is, I think, inherently interesting, especially when the congregation consists entirely of people in a single age cohort. But more to the point, that age cohort is exactly what interests me.
When I first met the search committee on Zoom, the first question they asked was, “How do you feel about working with a group made up exclusively of seniors?”
My answer: “I’m one of you.”
Which, since I’m well over seventy, becomes more true every day.
But behind that flip response lies a deeper truth: I am one of them. I, too, am in need of Jewish life, in need of family, in need of spiritual sustenance — sustenance I hope to receive from my new congregants, just as I hope to offer it in return.
The post Coming to Sun City Center appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
You are invited to join in a monthly open-ended discussion on the issues that concern us as we age. This is a conversation on the ideas, joys, challenges and concerns that all of us have and how Jewish tradition can speak to us.
Please register for the next session. NO COST
The Webinars will be facilitated by Rabbi Richard Address and Rabbi Mark Levin.
July 21, 2025 – 4:00-5.30 PM EDT/3:00-4:30 CDT
To sign up go to: markhowardlevin@gmail.com and put “We’re Aging” in subject line. A zoom code will be sent.
The post Next Session 7/21 – From Both Sides Now: Monthly Conversations on Our Life’s Journey appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
This may be one of those transitional moments in our life. Our generation has lived through several traumas in our lifetime as well as numerous social change movements. Many of us were nurtured on dreams of equality and a sense of social justice. For some, the traditional concept of “tikun olom” was a call to move the values of equality and justice from the text to the real world. Indeed, looking back we can see that progress, in many ways, has been accomplished in our life time.
Yet, we are now living in a time when so many of those ideas and ideals seem to be in flux. As we get older, we seem to be inundated with what we call the “promiscuity of information” which contains a “paucity of wisdom”. For many, living as we now do in an environment of crises, we have had enough and just wish to withdraw into the alleged security of home, friends and, we hope, family. The world which so many tried to repair now seems, in so many ways, broken. Between the wars in the Middle East, Ukraine, Africa and the growing social and economic divide here in the United States; too many of our generation are just opting out.
I write this in the middle of the great debate on the new economic tax etc. bill now on the way from the Senate back to the House. At the same time, I am watching reports of a new “detention center” in Florida, being built in the Everglades to house 5,000 illegal aliens. I am reading reports of the costs of the new legislation for border security and defense that are staggering, costs that will raise the national debt by trillions of dollars and, at the same time, reduce the safety net for people on Medicaid, food stamps and other programs that benefit so many people who just scrape by. In reading and listening and watching all of this I cannot help but hear the voice of the Prophets and much of our tradition calling from history and asking: WHY?
What are we as a society so afraid of? When did creating a society based on respect and civility become one based on fear and division? The laws being passed and discussed that point out LGBTQ and trans people, immigrants who do not look like what so many of us? Our tradition demands that society provide basic needs for all who lack them. We are commanded to “welcome the stranger”. Even we Jews are being used as pawns in the attempts by leaders to reign in and control academic freedom at universities. Is everything acceptable as long as the stock market rises? Has entitlement replaced empathy? Are we becoming that type of society where the divide between the “haves” and “have nots” is beyond repair? The reports of the economic and social impact of this new bill on huge segments of society should alarm us all. Will that power minority be permanently sequestered behind walled communities, both walls of concrete and walls of indifference? There are reports that in recent years the most wealthy in the country have accumulated even more wealth. How much is enough?
There will always be in our society people of difference views and beliefs. But we can disagree for “the sake of heaven” as Pirke Avot says. There are higher values than power and economic gain, there are basic human values of decency, due process, kindness, justice, humility and humanity. We have the benefit of hindsight, of life experience. We can lobby and work for civility and fairness. This may be a transitional moment in our society and if so, it calls for a reawakening of our values, before we are swept up in a spiritual, emotion, political and human dragnet of fear and hate.
Shalom,
Rabbi Richard F. Address
The post Is This The Summer Of Our Discontent? appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
I recently returned from the University of Oregon where my almost 22-year-old granddaughter, Shayna, graduated and I must kvell, Cum Laude! Such an exciting weekend to celebrate her many accomplishments. As an Art/Journalism/Media/Branding Major, she had a variety of classes in each subject to give her a direction as to where she wants to focus on a career. She is a wonderful artist via painting, sketching and digital design. I started taking her to art classes at age seven and she’s never stopped creating! My home is filled with her works of art.
Since high school and during her college years, she has worked at several well-known clothing stores where she was their Design Specialist and created the stores’ fashion displays. Her varied classes in Art, Design and Branding seem to be where she is headed. So, when she wrote a 30-page thesis paper called How Sustainability is Perceived and Prioritized in the Visual Branding of Bamboo Paper Products, I was curious how she got to this subject!
If you are wondering what this has to do with us Jewish Baby Boomer Elders, let me share the ah-ah moments I had while reading her paper because it opened a flood of questions for me about social branding, how information is often wrapped in pretty paper and when language and visuals are misleading.
The more I read the thesis, the more my mind kept getting off track and I kept hearing avoice murmuring in my head that began to shout, “Accountability for media sound bites! Transparency from our leaders! Shades of Antisemitism!” I had to spend time connecting the dots between what I was learning from Shayna’s paper and the world we live in today, how information is disseminated and how implicit it is
Shayna’s paper presents the premise that: “As the climate change crisis deepens, more people consider where their products come from, how they are made, and how they align with the environment, which begs the question, ‘How are companies branding and advertising their logos, colors, tones and design elements to communicate their values, ethics and goals?’”
In other words, what Shayna is asking, “Are companies using visuals to attract our attention and emotions to their goods so we have an immediate connection to the product without knowing the full story behind the product?”
In other words, for me, I was trying to read beyond the thesis paper to see more clearly how we’re inundated and exposed to subliminal messaging via cues in news, narratives, language, imagery and visuals that shape our perception of truths and present a version of truth that is not grounded in reality and often constructed, rather than being factual.
Should we become more aware of how deeply we’ve been manipulated by suggestive content creation that is disguised as news or facts and promotes half-truths as plausible realities?
Shayna’s ah-ah moment came one day while in Whole Foods where she noticed in the toilet paper section stacks of individual rolls of toilet paper wrapped in wild colors and geometric designs to appear as wrapping paper! Her love for packaging color and design are like breathing to her, so she filled her basket with beautiful rolls of toilet (the brand is called, “Who Gives a Crap.” Catchy!) On another trip to Whole Foods, she was drawn to a big box of toilet paper wrapped in a pale blue color with thick kelly green writing and noticed the packaging emphasized “Made from Bambo,” which enticed her to research the difference between bamboo products and recycled. Her discovery was that Bamboo is eco-friendly/tree free, replaces plastic, is renewable and grown sustainably.
She now had her thesis idea because as someone who desires a career in designing and branding merchandise for companies, she had to learn more how her work would influence the consumer: “My research will examine how design strategies influence the perception and success of bamboo paper products with a focus on the role of visual branding in communicating sustainability and how essential visuals are for building trust and market success.”
“Impressive,”I thought.
After reading all of Shayna’s 30 pages, I learned about “greenwashing,” which she brought to light as an important factor in advertising and branding.
I was unfamiliar with the word and immediately wondered if there was a parallel with “whitewashing.”
Greenwashing is a technique companies or organizations use to falsely market themselves as environmentally friendly to appear more ethical and sustainable than they really are.
It translates to “eco-friendly lying” by spending more time and money on promoting their “green” image than actually improving their environmental impact.
As an example, vague labels are created to use language like green, natural or eco with no proof of their standard, misleading packaging designed with flowers, leaves and Earth icons to suggest sustainability, and suggestions of carbon offset claims, and boasting chlorofluorocarbon-free when it is already banned by law.
Numerous consumer goods brands, oil companies and clothing companies use these harmful messages. Design and language become the hook. These are deceptive practices we should be more cognizant of.
Now I couldn’t help but wonder if greenwashing and whitewashing were related.
Whitewashing is often used in regard to race, religion and ethnicity discrimination and refers to covering up or glossing over unpleasant truths.
It describes the practice of erasing or minimizing non-white cultures in media, history or narratives while replacing the narrative with white perspectives and characteristics. It’s use of erasing identities and reinforcing racial inequity results in misinformation, prevents honest dialogue and stops progress in social change. Need I suggest how whitewashing is used in our culture today?
To my surprise, rainbow washing, or pinkwashing,suddenly appeared in my research andis used by companies to appear they superficially support LGBTQ for marketing purposes without any actual purposeful changes or without backing up sustained support.
I have been an avid Target customer from the day they opened until they recently caved to diminishing DEI and I have not walked through their doors for over four months. The elimination of their PRIDE merchandising and replacing it with a minimal display of Pride dog toys did not meet up with their past standards for community support.
Color washing,in the social marketing context,is slowly emerging as a term followinggreenwashing and pinkwashing to superficially describe and show diversity without real commitment, equity, inclusion, and is basically tokenism. It uses color associated with a movement or identity to only appear supportive without meaningful action. Through color branding, as in pink for breast cancer, red for heart health or purple for domestic violence is a PR benefit, not actual advocacy and translates to only performative activism.
All of these color washing techniques are not applicable to all companies, businesses or organizations.
But be aware.
Read labels, make informed decisions according to your values and ethics. Don’t let the disguises and inactions of companies fool you when they use a technique called “virtue signaling” that makes you think they are morally and socially aware for the sake of show while appearing to be performing goodness.
Most importantly, don’t be afraid to speak out because for meaningful changes it will depend on those who make noise and rebel against subliminal information/advertising!
My personal thesis I gleaned from digesting Shayna’s paper was not new concepts about how we receive current information, as I believe we are very well aware of deceptive tactics, selective framing and hidden agendas.
We know that certain media outlets gear to shape messages, inflate the public with distorted rhetoric and biased facts that are presented as truths. It’s strategically about being a “wolf in sheep’s clothing,” thinking we are dumb enough to buy what they are selling or do they honestly believe their own fiction?
Are we not sick of “plausible deniability” when someone in a position of authority can credibly deny knowledge or involvement in something questionable or illegal or association with someone when there is no clear evidence linking them?
A political leader might avoid knowing the details of a secret operation so they can deny responsibility if things go wrong or create a scenario to fit their narrative — does this sound currently familiar? Are images and graphics and flowery words being used to convince us of something we know doesn’t look right? Does using videos of incidents that happened days ago or reporting and distorting about widespread riots and discord support that the lead has really been buried?
We are all old enough to remember, and maybe even feel, “I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore!”
The rant from the news anchor in the movie, Network, became a symbol of public outrage against media spin, the denouncement of journalists and how truth, emotion, disillusionment and public manipulation numbs the viewer.
Recently, Scott Pelley, former CBS anchor and 60 Minutes correspondent, said: “There can be no system of democracy without journalism. Journalism is the only profession protected by the Constitution. Journalism is the only thing that will save the country.”
Profound. Unflinching. Patriotic. Galvanizing. Scary.
A statement that is bold and an urgent reminder of journalism’s role in democracy.
I don’t believe I need to mention how all this dialogue and information impacts our Jewish world.
We need to foster a culture of sustainability and sustainability has to be communicated ethically as a commitment to real change. Our greatest strength lies in collective action, for those who shape the messages are the change agents, and we all need to be agents of change.
To sustain our Judaism, we need strength in our narrative, clarity in our voice and truth in our conviction. We need to prioritize who we are with meaningful storytelling, redefine what it means to be a Jew today and even if we have differences in some Jewish issues, we must be a collective voice for the world to hear.
While spending the weekend at graduation with lots of Gen Zs, I was enlightened with their commitments to world issues, concerns for the environment, climate change, recycling, social justice, LGBTQ and gender equality, immigrant and refugee support, digitally fluency with caution, the scary job market for them as college graduates, skepticism of government, and most importantly, Antisemitism. I was filled with great hope for them to be leaders in their fields, change agents for society and masters of their own dreams.
What pleases me the most about this experience at my granddaughter’s college graduation is what I learned from Shayna’s thesis paper:
That I learned from her.
The post What I learned from my granddaughter’s college thesis paper appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
Rabbi Address was the guest on the June 10, 2025 episode of the “Boomer Banter” podcast hosted by Wendy Green. (Green is the guest on the June 27, 2025 Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast hosted by Rabbi Address, which you can watch here.)
You can listen to the conversation in the player below, or wherever you get your podcasts.
The post Rabbi Address appears as guest on ‘Boomer Banter’ podcast appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
Yesterday, I was driving to work and I stopped at a red light. I looked at the school bus in front of me and noticed the student looking back at me holding up two fingers in a peace sign. As I mirrored back in response I took the wayback machine to the early 70s when I used to kneel on the backseat of my parent’s car showing the same sign.
It was the time of Nixon, Watergate, the aftermath of the Vietnam War, and political unrest. Perhaps I experienced the Sound of Silence embodied in the silent generation of my parents who were disconnected from the world.
I was a latchkey kid. Today is my mom’s 50-year yahrzeit. My brother and I basically raised ourselves listening to the music of Classic Rock. It was the sound of the 60s through the lens of the “Greed is Good” 80s.
Time is cyclical. As we read Torah each year the same themes appear in different ways. Just as the Israelites wanted to return to Egypt when things got hard some Americans want Mayberry. Their memories are tinged with a false sense of nostalgia and privilege. They can’t get past the quail sticking out of their teeth.
I find the metaphor of the wilderness to be invaluable for personal and spiritual growth. At the same time I hold the tension of the seemingly autocratic divine directive of the scouts. I am challenged and disappointed that we and perhaps God have not yet found our way out of the wandering.
We are plagued by plagues, global warming, and the marginalization of the other. We see the social action initiatives that we thought addressed only to be reversed and annulled. The warriors who fought for social justice lost their relevance as laws overturned and shadows of fear draped over rear view windows. Where is the cloud? Do we just store our photos there?
When it gets hard some retreat, blame, complain, and point fingers. Some feel justified in raising stones. How many times must our leaders fall on their faces as we sit in our sackcloths? We are killing politicians and rounding up people in 2025.
Abraham, Martin, and John where have they gone? What’s Going on, Marvin Gaye? Neil, I am feeling the heaviness of four dead in Ohio.
These are complicated times and I find solace in community. As in Torah we entrust our leaders to represent us. Sometimes we give up freedoms in an effort to feel safe.
Sometimes that safety is an illusion.
Imagine, John…
Where are our circumcised hearts?
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On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Rabbi Address speaks with Wendy Green, a life transition coach and host of the Boomer Banter Podcast, about the various aspects of aging, including the importance of purpose, the challenges of ageism, and the significance of community connections. They explore the fears associated with aging, the concept of successful aging, and the impact of belief systems on one’s experience of growing older. Wendy shares her personal journey and insights on how to embrace authenticity and find meaning in life as we age.
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions.
Listen to the Audio PodcastYou can listen to the audio podcast version in the player below, or subscribe to the podcast in one of the popular platforms by clicking one of the buttons below the player.
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- Amazon Music About the GuestWendy GreenWendy Green is the host of the popular and inspirational Boomer Banter podcast, where each episode is dedicated to “Real Talk” about aging well. With a background in training and development, life coaching, and change leadership, Wendy brings a powerful blend of curiosity, compassion, and research-driven insight to every conversation — alongside some of the most dynamic and thought-provoking guests around.
A lifelong learner and dedicated coach, Wendy is passionate about living fully and helping others realize that it’s never too late to set a new goal or dream a new dream. Her mission with Boomer Banter is to create a safe and vibrant space where listeners come to grow, be inspired, and make the world a better place—for themselves and for future generations.
Outside the studio, Wendy takes immense pride in her two adult children and four wonderful grandchildren. Her home is also lovingly ruled by Pepper the cat, who is firmly convinced she’s in charge—and she just might be right.
The post Embracing Aging: Insights ‘from Boomer Banter Podcast’ Host Wendy Green – Seekers of Meaning 6/27/2025 appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
My first article for Jewish Sacred Aging outlined my thoughts on the intersection of Jewish spirituality and practice, and medicine. In this piece, I would like to further expand my thoughts on the topic.
Exploring the multiple intersections of Judaism and medicine has been a fascinating and enlightening journey. One of my favorite endeavors so far have been the case discussions that I have conducted with Rabbi Address and the participants in Congregation Kol Ami’s weekly program, Spice Up Your Judaism. This group, comprising both healthcare professionals and lay people, has put forth remarkable insights, not only into their own personal experiences with both institutions, but the connections between them.
We have so far discussed two ethically and medically challenging cases, both of which highlight the moral ambiguity involved in medical decision-making, and the need for a system of ethics, such as Judaism’s, to adjudicate the complex choices left on the table for us to make. Not only have these discussions reinforced the point to me that people are often ready and willing to have conversations about difficult medical dilemmas but need to have them to ensure the best medical outcomes.
Therefore, one main component of a Jewishly oriented medical practice would be a consultative service providing Jewish ethical guidance to patients and families, addressing medical dilemmas and problems on a case-by-case basis. Such an approach would not only involve a knowledgeable physician, but also linkage to a team of outside consults, most importantly those trained as rabbis and medical ethicists with knowledge of Jewish teachings.
By embedding such Jewish ethical guidance within the workflow of clinic care, patients will be able to use real-time Jewish guidance in their medical decision-making, as well as plan for future health needs and personal desires regarding the use of life-preserving technology such as invasive ventilation or feeding tubes. Patients often struggle to make these difficult decisions in a vacuum and would benefit greatly from proximity to a tradition that has much to say regarding health and medicine. Guidance as to medical decision-making would be provided in the context and background of an ancient spiritual tradition, easing the burden on patients and their families.
However, this approach need not be limited to existential medical issues but can include routine conditions as well. The Jewish approach to wellness, which holistically emphasizes the health of the body and spirit, can be applied to a wide variety of acute and chronic medical conditions. I believe that by elevating the treatment of a common condition, such as diabetes, by applying Jewish principles, patients will find more agency and energy to sustain their treatment over the long-term.
Such a medical practice based on Jewish tradition and principles would be well situated to partner with a local synagogue or Jewish community center, whose staff and clergy can partner with the physician to interpret issues of Jewish law for those following Halakhah, link patients to relevant Jewish events and programming, as well as comprise a Jewish “care team” that is able to address the multidimensional scope of the practice. Such a practice could also be a source of continuing health and wellness education for the community, providing educational programming for synagogue Hebrew schools, and offering mentorship opportunities for children and adolescents interested in Jewish approaches to medicine or the profession of medicine itself.
The overall effect of such an approach would be the real-time and future-oriented application of Jewish ethical principles regarding health and wellness to medical decision-making as well as the treatment of acute and chronic illnesses. Such an approach would create a longitudinal partnership between a physician, his or her patients, as well as involved Jewish clergy and lay leaders. My hypothesis is that such a partnership will lead to better health outcomes, as well as greater spiritual fulfillment.
Viewing health in the context of an ancient tradition such as Judaism is a means for patients to re-orient their views on health and wellness and ensure that care is provided in the context of a helpful ethical and philosophical system. In this piece, I have sought to further clarify and define what such a medical practice might look like and how it might operate in a general sense. I would love feedback as to the thoughts presented here, as well as areas for future direction.
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Parashat Vayera
פרשת וירא
בראשיתGenesis 18:1 to 22:24
Chapter 18, verses 1 through 8 – Abraham hosts three heavenly beings
The three “men” (שלושה אנשים) are apparently heavenly beings, as suggested by the opening sentence: “G-d appeared to him …”. Abraham demonstrates his hospitality to passing strangers, beseeching them to drink some water and have a morsel of bread, and then prepares an over-the-top feast. Later day Rabbinic prohibition to mixing of milk and meat apparently is not yet an issue or common practice. Some commentators hold that this was on the third day after Abraham’s circumcision (end of last week’s parashah) when the pain would have been most acute, although the text does not support this premise.
Verses 9 through 15 – Sarah receives a prophesy
The three beings share the prophesy with Sarah (that was previously revealed to Abraham by G-d), that she will have a son. Old and withered, and long past menopause, she was incredulous, disbelieving, and laughed (ותצחק). When confronted by Abraham, Sarah lied by denying that she laughed, probably out of fright for having doubted G-d’s powers.
Verses 16 through 33 – Abraham negotiates with G-d to save Sodom
The beings set out towards Sodom. G-d appeared to debate with himself whether to inform Abraham of his plans to go to Sodom and Gomorrah and see whether what He heard of their horrid (in undefined ways) behavior was well founded.
Abraham, appalled by the thought that innocents will be swept along with the guilty, asked if G-d will destroy the city if fifty innocents or righteous (צדיקים) are found there. G-d responds that he will not. Abraham pushes his luck and finally gets G-d to agree that if ten righteous (from the Hebrew, it is not clear if the intent is ten righteous men or ten righteous men and women). G-d agrees that he will not destroy the cities if ten such righteous can be found. Why did Abraham stop negotiating at ten? Perhaps he did not wish to press his luck. Alternatively, possibly Abraham reasoned that ten men is the minimum needed to form a nucleus of a community that can reform the city. From this Rabbis of the Talmud determined that ten men is the minimum number that can compose a prayer quorum or minyan (מנין). An alternative interpretation of the origin of the minyan concept comes from the story of the ten scouts (Numbers – במדבר 13:1 to 13:33) who were sent out by Moses to report on the land of Canaan. We can take away the lesson that the Torah does not expect man to be blindly obedient, even to G-d. We can appeal and even bargain for a better deal.
Chapter 19, verses 1 through 11 – Lot extends hospitality
Two of the three beings arrived at Sodom. The Torah does not say why the third being did not accompany them. As did Abraham previously, Lot greeted them and exhibits great hospitality. He invited them into his house so they could bathe, eat, and spend the night before continuing their journey. Trouble was not long to come. All the men of Sodom, young and old, congregated outside Lot’s house and demanded that he hand over these two men to the mob so that they can have intimate relations with them. Note that all the men were in the mob, showing that there were no righteous in Sodom.
Lot, to protect his guests, offered to hand over his two virgin daughters. Wow! Lot was willing to sacrifice two daughters to protect his guests! What to make of Lot’s horrendous offer, and willingness to subordinate his daughters to extend hospitality and protection to his guests? Isn’t this carrying hospitality to a fanatical extreme? At any rate, the mob would have none of that and started to attack Lot. The beings pulled him into the house and protected him.
Verses 12 through 29 – Lot flees the doomed city, with wife and two daughters in tow
The beings instructed Lot to get his family, including sons in law and get out of Dodge before G-d destroys the city. His sons in law did not take him seriously, and they, along with his two married daughters remained in the doomed city. Shortly before the destruction, the beings imposed on a hesitant Lot and took him, his wife, and his two remaining daughters out of the city, and implored them to flee to the hills and not look back. Lot preferred the relative safety of the nearby town of Zohar to the treacherous journey to the hills. As they entered Zohar, the destruction began. Lot’s wife looked back (perhaps out of concern for her married daughters still in the doomed city) and was turned into a pillar of salt. Wasn’t Lot’s wife looking back towards the doomed city an act of compassion, not an act that justifies such punishment? Verse 29 suggests that Lot was not saved by his own merit, but for the sake of Abraham.
Verses 30 through 38 – Lot’s daughters engage in incest
Lot was fearful to remain in Zohar and took his two daughters to the same hills that he was fearful to head to earlier. It is not clear if Zohar was also subsequentially destroyed. If so, that may explain why Lot’s two remaining daughters apparently believed that the three of them are the only remaining humans on earth. To propagate the human species, they get their father drunk and engage in incest with him. The older daughter gives birth to a child, Moab ( – מואבa play on – מאב from father) that will be the progenitor of the Moabites. The younger daughter gives birth to a child, Ben Ami ( – בן עמיson of my people) that will be the progenitor of the Ammonites (בני עמון). Midrash teaches that among their descendants were Ruth and Naamah (Queen during reign of King Solomon and mother of Rehoboam who succeeded Solomon) respectively.
Chapter 20, verses 1 through 18 – Abraham journeys to Gerer
Now we leave Lot and return to the saga of Abraham. For reasons unknown to us, Abraham journeyed to Gerer in the Negev. This is almost a repeat of the story in the previous parashah where Abram travelled to Egypt to escape the drought in Canaan. We do learn here that Sarah was not only his wife, but also his half-sister, having the same father, presuming that Abraham was telling the truth to King Avimelech.
Chapter 21, verses 1 through 8 – An aged Sarah gives birth to Isaac
As G-d promised, Sarah conceived of a son in her old age, who Abraham called Isaac (יצחק) because Sarah laughed (תצחק). Abraham circumcised Isaac after eight days as G-d had commanded.
Verses 9 through 21 – Sarah implores Abraham to banish Hagar and Ishmael
With the birth of a son, Sarah grew ever more jealous of Hagar and Ishmael and wanted to assure Isaac’s birthright and inheritance. She implored Abraham to cast out Hagar and her son. Abraham was distressed by the prospect, but upon receiving assurances from G-d that they will be all right, he complied, turning them out into the desert with only a skin of water and some bread. Why did he acquiesce so easily, and why did he only accord them such skimpy provisions?
Verses 22 through 34 – Abraham settles dispute with King Avimelech
This somewhat disjointed narrative had Abraham settling a dispute with King Avimelech over rights to a well that was then called Beer Sheva (באר שבע) which translates as well of seven.
Chapter 22, verses 1 through 19 – Abraham called to sacrifice Isaac
Here we have the story of the Akedah (עקידה), the binding of Isaac. This is one of the most well-known and arguably, one of the most controversial sections in the Torah. It is read on Rosh Hashanah in synagogues of all denominations. Traditional synagogues read the portion about the birth of Isaac on the first day and the portion about the Akedah on the second day.
Verse 1 – “Abraham is put to the test” (האלוקים נסה את אברהם). The willingness of Abraham to sacrifice his beloved son to demonstrate his unquestioning obedience to G-d raises very troubling moral and religious questions. Items for contemplation:
- Why didn’t Abraham push back and negotiate with G-d as he did in his attempt to save Sodom and Gomorrah from destruction? Instead, he passively says “Heneini” (הנני) – Here I am.
- Did Abraham really intend to go through with sacrificing his son or was he calling G-d’s bluff? We have a couple of hints in the text. Abraham did tell Isaac (verse 8) “G-d will see to the sheep for the offering” and he did instruct his servants that both of them will return after going up to the mountain to worship.
- Why did the angel have to call him twice (“Abraham, Abraham …”)? Did it take persuasion to dissuade him from the task?
- Did Abraham pass or fail the test? Did the fact that G-d saw fit to send an emissary to stop him from his folly and not personally intervene was a sign that he failed the test? Also, the text does not relate to any more direct communication between Abraham and G-d.
- In the following chapter, we learn that Sarah died shortly afterwards. The Torah is silent about whether Abraham’s readiness to sacrifice Isaac was a cause of this. Imagine the scene: “You did WHAT??!!”
- On another level, perhaps the Torah is also telling us not to emulate the child sacrifice practices of the surrounding nations but to substitute a more (relatively) benign practice (animal sacrifice).
Some commentators, including Rashi point to a possible misunderstanding by Abraham of G-d’s intent. The Hebrew עלה (verse 2) is translated as sacrifice, but it can also mean going up.
Verses 20 through 24 – Lineage of Nahor
Here the narrative briefly breaks to give us the lineage of Abraham’s brother Nahor back in Haran, including cousin Rebecca (רבקה), destined to become Isaac’s wife (stay tuned).
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On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Jen Rivera, VP of Membership Engagement, Programs, & Thought Leadership at the American Society on Aging, discusses the organization’s advocacy for seniors and professionals who work with seniors.
They discuss the organization’s role in addressing the challenges of aging in America, including the impact of technology, the importance of community, and the need to combat ageism. Jen highlights the various resources ASA provides to its members, the challenges in the geriatrics workforce, and the importance of health equity. They also touch on cultural perspectives on aging and the organization’s future goals in advocacy and education.
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions.
Listen to the Audio PodcastYou can listen to the audio podcast version in the player below, or subscribe to the podcast in one of the popular platforms by clicking one of the buttons below the player.
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- Amazon Music About the GuestJen RiveraJen Rivera is Vice President of Membership Engagement, Programs, and Thought Leadership at the American Society on Aging. Her focus is on developing effective strategies to enhance member satisfaction, advance programmatic initiatives, and shape the intellectual direction of the organization, in collaboration with the education and membership team. With more than 10 years’ experience helping organizations rethink their membership models to deliver a consistent return on investment for their members, she has developed a deep understanding of building and sustaining relationships with stakeholders and implementing growth strategies for organizations.
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Parashat Lech Lecha
פרשת לך לך
בראשיתGenesis 12:1 to 17:27
While the previous two parashot were a preamble, setting the stage so to speak, now we begin the saga of the Jewish people in earnest, beginning with the patriarchs. According to the orthodox Artscroll edition, Abraham was born in the year 1948 after creation. Make of that what you will!
Chapter 12, verses 1 through 9 – Abram and his entourage journey to an unfamiliar destination
Abram ( – אברםHe is not yet Abrahamאברהם – ) is ordered by G-d to leave his father’s house and journey to a yet unidentified land, with the promise that his descendants will grow to be a great and blessed nation. Abram is not simply commanded to “go” (לך) but is commanded to “go for yourself” (לך לך). Is G-d reassuring Abram that this displacement is really for his own benefit? Perhaps there was something (undefined in the Torah) physically or spiritually unhealthy in Haran (חרן). There is no hint in the Torah as to whether Abram was hesitant to begin this adventure or apprehensive of going into the unknown.
His wife, Sarai ( – שרי not yet renamed Sarah – שרה) and his nephew Lot (לוט) accompany him as does his household and his servants. It is unclear if the servants went willingly or were coerced. We are not told what Sarai felt about this upheaval to their settled lives, or why Lot tagged along on this journey.
It is not clear why G-d chose Abram for this mission. Also, why did He wait until Abram was of advanced age (75)? The Torah is silent as to whether Abram or Sarai questioned this strange and inconvenient command or had any reluctance. After all, they were told to uproot their lives, part from all that was familiar, and depart into the unknown. We are not told anything about this long and difficult journey, only that Abram and his entourage arrived in stages, from Shechem to Beth El, and finally to the Negev.
Verses 10 through 20 – Famine forces Abram to seek refuge in Egypt; he is morally compromised
Famine forces Abram and his entourage to seek temporary refuge in Egypt. Abram is concerned that because of Sarai’s beauty (she is 65, hardly in the prime of her life!), as her husband, he will be killed, and she will be taken as an Egyptian’s wife. He decided to present her as his sister. Orthodox commentators are troubled with the idea that a patriarch, who they insist must be a near flawless person, would resort to a ruse such as this (albeit perhaps not a complete ruse as we shall see in chapter 20, verse 12). Presuming that Abram is being truthful with Avimelech, Sarai is not only his wife but his half-sister (they share the same father). Indeed, Sarai was taken into Pharaoh’s palace. The Torah is silent as to what went on there! Abram, for his part was showered with gifts, including both male and female slaves (concubines?).
As a result, G-d afflicted Pharaoh’s household with (unspecified) plagues, and Abram’s ruse was revealed. Strange that instead of doing away with Abram, Pharaoh simply kicks him out of Egypt but allows him to keep his retinue and all the goodies that were showered upon him. Why? Possibly, after experiencing the plagues, he was afraid that harming Abram or his entourage may result in further misfortunes from an angry god. Maimonides, in his commentary on this section, postulates that Abram’s morally questionable behavior may have been what led to the future enslavement of his descendants in Egypt.
Chapter 13, verses 1 through 18 – Abram and Lot go their separate ways
Upon return to Canaan, it was decided that the land was not big enough to contain both Abram’s flocks and Lot’s, and so they decided to split up, with Lot choosing to go down to the Jordan Valley, near Sodom (of that, more later). Later commentators have surmised that Abram, with his strong sense of justice and ethical behavior could not get along with a more morally compromised Lot, although the Torah text does not support this.
Gd renews his promise of the land to Abram and his progeny in perpetuity. Abram moves his tent to Hebron, and he builds there an altar.
Chapter 14, verses 1 through 24 – Abram goes to war, rescues Lot
The narrative is interrupted for a story of civil strife in the regions and kingdoms around Sodom. Lot, who had in the meantime settled in the wicked city of Sodom, along with his possessions was also carried off as a prisoner or hostage. Abram (verse 13 here, for the first time, and without explanation), is referred to as “The Hebrew” – העברי), mustered an army of 318 men from his household and gave pursuit as far as Damascus. He brought back not only Lot and his possessions, but also the men and possessions that were taken from the King of Sodom. The King offered the possessions to Abram as thanks for bringing back his men. Abram refused to accept any, only allowing his men to take their share of the booty. He thus avoided the appearance of being beholden to the King of Sodom.
Chapter 15, verses 1 through 21 – God prophecies Abram’s destiny
Gd again delivers his promise to Abram that his progeny will be numerous and inhabit the land of Canaan.
Verse 13 prophecies or preordains the upcoming 400-year enslavement in Egypt. (“in a land not theirs”).
Strangely (verse 18), the promise includes territory from the Nile in Egypt to the Euphrates in Babylon. What is this? Some Rabbinic commentators contend that this refers to the boundaries in the days of the Mashiah.
Chapter 16, verses 1 through 16 – Sarai is baren, Abram has a child through her maidservant
Poor Sarai, still barren at such a ripe age, despairs of having a son and so graciously offers Abram to have a son through her Egyptian maidservant Hagar (הגר)At the age of 86, Abram was presented with a son, Ishmael (ישמעאל), by Hagar. It is telling that in this period, milleniums before Women’s Lib became an issue, a woman’s worth was largely measured by the fertility of her womb.
By the custom of the time, any children that a mistress’ maidservant bears shall be considered those of the mistress. Unfortunately, and probably foolishly, when Hagar does conceive, she lords it over Sarai. Perhaps understandably, Sarai has buyer’s remorse and is consumed by jealousy. Abram, rather than being a mensch and defending Hagar, tries to wash his hands of the affair and tells Sarai to deal with Hagar as she sees fit. Hagar flees from Sarai’s harsh treatment, but an angel finds her and instruct her to return to Sarai and suck it up. As a consolation of sorts, she is promised that her offspring, beginning with her son Ishmael will be a great nation. The angel further prophesies that Ishmael will be a ruffian (פרא אדם) and in conflict with those around him. According to both Jewish and Moslem traditions, Ishmael is the scion of the present-day Arabs. There is little substance in this text to support that. The intended prophetic reference to Ismael as a ruffian may mean that the proto-Bedouin nomadic tribes that inhabited the region at the time were descended from him.
Chapter 17, verses 1 through 27 – Abram and Sarai have name changes, males undergo circumcision
The narrative skips ahead 13 years, Abram being now 99 years old. For a third time, G-d recites the covenant with him. This time it is promised that he will father a multitude of nations (אב המון גוים).
As a sign of the covenant, Abram becomes Abraham (אברהם) and Sarai, now included in the covenant, shall become Sarah (שרה). The reason for the addition of the hey (ה) in both of their names is not explained in the text. The Rabbis and commentators assert that the ה represents G-d,
Abraham is commanded to circumcise himself and all his male offspring from this point on (זרעך אחריך) at the age of eight days, a practice that has continued to the present day. No explanation is given as to why this rite must be formed on the eighth day, not earlier, and not later. The command is retroactive, so now 13-year-old Ishmael is now circumcised (ouch!) along with the rest of the male members of his household. Why is circumcision prescribed as the sign of the covenant between the offspring of Abraham and G-d? Does this exclusively male ritual exclude women from the covenant?
Moslem males are circumcised, typically within the first 60 days of life. There is no prescribed day for circumcision, although it must be performed before the child reaches puberty.
G-d promised Abraham that Sarah shall bear him a son. One-hundred-year-old Abraham laughs out of disbelief, or possibly out of joy. Also, while Ishmael is promised to become a great nation, the covenant will be maintained through Sarah, the son to be names Isaac (יצחק).
Abraham circumcised himself, thirteen-year-old Ishmael, and all his male household. The Torah does not tell if they subjected themselves to this ritual willingly or if they were coerced. Also, as they were not parties to the covenant, why did they have to undergo this ordeal? As an aside, Christian sects have substituted the ritual of baptism for circumcision.
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A foundational idea in the Jewish conception of ethics is that our choices and actions involve a clash between two conflicting forces or “inclinations”: the yezer hatov and the yetzer harah.
The two terms are nearly always translated, misleadingly, as the good impulse and the evil impulse. I say “misleadingly” because the inclinations themselves are neither good nor evil, but rather their consequences tend to either be desirable or undesirable. The so-called evil inclination is more correctly understood as the dictate of the appetites, the pursuit of immediate gratification. The so-called good inclination is more correctly understood as the application of controls that will provide for longer-range benefits and gratification.
Jewish sages, notably Nathan in his famous commentary on Pirkei Avoth, explains that we are born with this yetzer harah, that it is in our biological nature, but that it takes 13 years before we acquire the yetzer hatov, the commitment to observe the commandments rather than our immediate impulses. The sages also explain that is difficult for the yetzer hatov, to compete, because the yetzer harah, has a 13-year head start. Rashi adds that at 13, the emerging sexual impulse is the most difficult inclination to contain.
From this perspective, the Ten Commandments can be seen as a list of warnings against acting on impulse: lying, stealing, coveting, killing, fornicating and anything else that seems attractive at the moment, but will make civilized community life impossible. But, the mere fact that they are commandments, tells us that we don’t really want to follow them when our short-term appetites and emotions are stimulated.
While our ancestors were assembling the Hebrew Bible, Plato was making a similar point in his Phaedrus dialogue. In it, he pictures the human mind as a chariot being pulled by two horses, one unruly and headstrong (emotion), the other disciplined and cooperative (reason). The eternal ethical struggle is to overpower the emotional horse with the rational horse—a struggle that too often is won by the emotional horse.
This struggle exists not only in the mind but also in the brain. We are born with a fully functioning neural component called the nucleus accumbens, a system for (among other things) rewarding our brains with dopamine—pleasure. Without this component, our hunger would not be gratified by eating. In later life, the nucleus accumbens plays a role in addiction and other mental disorders. In short, much of our behavior—including behaviors necessary for our survival—emanates from this part of our brain. It is, effect, the yetzer harah.
In contrast, the prefrontal cortex component of the brain, which continues to develop for about 20 years after birth (not just 13) is the part that plans, defers gratification, evaluates the consequences of our emotions. It clearly is the neurological analogue for the yetzer hatov, putting long-term gratification ahead of immediate satisfaction.
There is no disagreement, then, among philosophers, religious leaders, and neuroscientists that the tov-rational-cortex inclination should prevail in ethical conflicts. The big, important, unanswered question is: Can reason reliably defeat emotion? Or is emotion too powerful to resist?
Although Aristotle believed that emotion always overpowers reason, Spinoza (the 17th Century Jewish philosopher, excommunicated from his synagogue for his dangerous ideas) argued that the only thing more powerful than an emotion is another emotion. And, therefore, he proposed a new kind of emotion: the intellectual love of God.
In Spinoza’s scheme, there are two kinds of emotions (or passions). Some (the ones he calls “inadequate”) are attached to external objects, like jealousy (of another person) or addiction (to wine or food). In contrast, there are “adequate” passions, which emanate from the person himself and are not influenced by outside objects or events. As it happens, there is only one example of this kind of emotion:the joy associated with the highest form of knowledge, which Spinoza also calls the intellectual love of God.
(By God, Spinoza means “the fixed and unchangeable order of nature or the chain of natural events: for I have said before and shown elsewhere that the universal laws of nature, according to which all things exist and are determined, are only another name for the eternal decrees of God, which always involve eternal truth and necessity.”)
Again, though, we must ask whether any ordinary human being can attain the intellectual plane that Spinoza describes (and appears to have achieved in his own short and troubled life).
The only person I can think of is not an ordinary person at all, but rather the character Spock in the Star Trek TV/movie franchise. Spock is the offspring of a Vulcan father and a human mother. Vulcans are famous for their ability to suppress their emotions (or their lack of emotions, it’s not clear) and always act logically, and Spock clearly favors his father. Although he shows an occasional flicker of emotion (notably vanity and smugness), he always makes the rational, logical choice. His affect is flat and unchanging and the harshest opprobrium in his vocabulary is “illogical.”
Indeed, in the second movie of the Stark Trek series, he performs the ultimate act of rationality when he elects to sacrifice his own life to save the hundreds of lives aboard his vessel. With Bentham-like calculation he argues that the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few or the one.
Probably, in the evolution of the Vulcan race, the power of the nucleus accumbens diminished. And, since everyone agrees that such a change would be a good thing, is there an evolutionary incentive for such a change to occur in the human race as well? Would we want to be like Spinoza or Spock?
Alternatively, when AI reaches a point where it can do everything better than our prefrontal cortexes, will humans elect to delegate management of our lives to the wise machines, freeing us to live happy, dopamine-drugged lives like the primates we really are? (And isn’t that what the mystics and spirituality-vendors are always promoting?)
Or is the eternal struggle between the two inclinations what really makes us human? I am reminded of Kirk’s eulogy for the self-sacrificed Spock:
“He did not feel this sacrifice a vain or empty one, and we will not debate his profound wisdom at these proceedings. Of my friend, I can only say this: Of all the souls I have encountered in my travels, his was the most human.”
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I state loud and clear, I mean NO offense to anyone, as I have many non-Jewish women who have become part of my family, via conversion or not, and are lovely and important people in our mishpachah!
I use the word as a reference to the Netflix show Nobody Wants This that has had great audience acceptance with over 70.4 million viewing hours globally, leaving a large fanbase and a positive acceptance to this much needed rom-com during global times of stress and uncertainty.
What could be more up-lifting than taking our time to engage in a story that shows two single adults going through the romantic process of falling in love? The story unfolds when a Gentile woman, Joanne, and a Jewish man, Noah, casually meet at a party of Millennials. They are attracted to each other from across the room and proceed with the normal course of getting to know one another. They tend to have a quick-witty-snappy-repartee banter which makes the attraction more attractive!
The moment that awakens my senses that deviates from this show just being a rom-com is when Joanne says, and points, “I heard there’s a rabbi here! Oh, that must be him with the beard!” You can see the sudden eye-opening expression on Noah’s face, as he’s the rabbi and startles her with that revelation! And the courtship moves on from there. And as I believe, the stereotypes proceed.
Please note that the show is written by 42-year-old Erin Foster (daughter of mogul record producer David Foster) who converted to Judaism when she married her LA, Jewish, USC graduate husband and created this show from her experience as a convert. (Personal note: My nephew was a USC buddy of her husband’s, and they worked together for a while after graduating. When Erin decided to convert, she attended classes at Wilshire Blvd. Temple—one of the oldest/largest/wealthiest congregations in Los Angeles. My nephew married a non-Jewish girl and after they had kids she decided to convert and went to Wilshire Blvd. Temple to attend conversion classes with the same rabbi Erin did! 6 degrees of separation!)
So, the word shiksa is mentioned several times throughout the 10, 30-minute episodes, and it’s curious if there is any offense taken by the word that means a non-Jewish female. Does the connotation still hold up today as a negative reference or has it been defused over the years with so many interfaith marriages?
If you sit comfortably with a bowl of popcorn, you can binge-watch the first season as though you were watching a movie. But if you’re like me, I need to digest each episode and sleep on it!
And if after reading this article so far, you might be asking yourself, “What’s the relevance of a rom-com in Jewish Sacred Aging?”
As my fingers dance the keyboard like a piano piece, I hear a dark tune that is bubbling inside me because this very popular TV show is about a Jewish subject, and it matters a lot in today’s world filled with antisemitism. How Judaism and Jews are portrayed is vital to the safety of all Jews. And because this rom-com is streaming world-wide, I have concerns on how it will be perceived, because, as we know and experience, Jews are facing widespread negative play on a global scale. And if you’re saying, “Lighten up, Sandy, it’s only a TV show!” well, I’ve already been told that but after discussing this show with others, the various opinions from Baby Boomers, Gen Xers, and Gen Zs, are what makes me write about it!
First off, I felt the story was very surfacy, as the man could have been a Jewish doctor or lawyer BUT because he was a rabbi, there are many more considerations, questions and consequences involved. There is a great scene at a Jewish camp where Noah takes Joanne for a weekend so she can see some of what his job entails. Joanne approaches a group of 14-year-old girl campers and introduces herself as the rabbi’s shiksa girlfriend! You can only guess the expression on the faces of the teens! This info becomes a source of gossip and somewhat confusion for them as they exchange side-way glances. I could just imagine these girls saying to their parents: “We go to Sunday School, Hebrew School and Confirmation and learn what Judaism is and how we need to continue the traditions! What kind of example is the rabbi setting for us?”
Personally, I never felt Noah had passion for being a rabbi. When Joanne asked him, “Why did you become a rabbi?” his comment was, “I felt like Judaism could change the world.” He didn’t say, “Maybe I could change the world!” I just never felt his devotion to being a rabbi. I felt he had more of a grandiose vision of becoming Head-Rabbi at a prestigious synagogue. I felt he went through the rituals with no passion. (Actor Adam Brody is Jewish, had a Bar Mitzvah, grew up in San Diego, doesn’t see himself involved in Judaism today.) One Baby Boomer said to me, “He didn’t even pronounce the Hebrew prayer correctly!”
I didn’t see much chemistry or passion between Noah and Joanne. I thought the two main characters were not cast well. He was portrayed as a cool/hip rabbi, but something was missing for me, no Yiddishkeit, no haimishness, no devotion for Judaism. I felt Joanne was not a warm person, lived in her LA bubble and was just blah. I did think the other actors were great!
Would the story have had a different spin if it took place in New York, Chicago, Miami, or Philadelphia? I’m a native Angeleno, and the implication of him being second in line, at such a young age, to becoming head rabbi at “That big Temple on Wilshire Blvd” has great status. Was he sure this position was truly his life’s passion or was he just floating through life not truly sure what his vocational aspirations were? (Would the rabbi at a Jewish camp or JCC been more his style?)
By the end of season one, I wondered if Noah wanted the relationship more than the head-rabbi position. At any point does he ask himself, “How is it that wanting this woman is more important than what I’ve worked for my entire professional life?” Is being in-love more important to him than being the head-rabbi? The last five minutes of season one, without giving away a spoiler-alert, tells us lots about his sacrifice and character development!
Joanne, the shiksa, who’s profession is sharing a podcast with her sister about relationships, romance, sexual play, and societal norms via the challenges of dating, through lively and transparent discussions with listeners. For whatever reason that she is attracted to Noah, she is introduced into a new world through his work and family. She must navigate not only what he does for a living, but also the Jewish nuances of his family. Her family is a gay father with a boyfriend, that is lovingly involved with her, her sister and mother. Their families couldn’t be more different.
After speaking with Baby Boomers, Gen Xers and Gen Zs, there is no consensus on whether this show creates Jewish stereotypes or neutralizes them. More Baby Boomers thought it created stereotypes while the Gen Xers and Gen Zs were mixed. Noah’s mother is certainly a Jewish stereotype, as is the food, the Bat Mitzvah party, and the Temple president. One Gen Z expressed, “I think the show tore down stereotypes by neutralizing Jews showing they were just a normal family that watches out for their own and has their own traditions and rituals, like any other family with religion.”
The one issue everyone agreed upon was that Joanne had no clue, because no one explained to her, what the position and responsibility of a rebbetzin is. I grew up living across the street from our rabbi and his family, so I know what his wife went through to uphold the status and normalcy of their family plus the needs of the congregation. Her life was not always her own because of the needs of a 500-member plus community. She was always on call for the sick, the dying, the preparation for shiva, and so much more!
From my perspective, and we don’t know the outcome yet, I think Joanne would be overwhelmed with her responsibilities as a rabbi’s wife. If they were to get married, conversion or not, I think the relationship would be taxed by issues she was not wanting to cope with because her makeup was not equipped to handle the role. And would it be okay with Noah if she opted out of being a hands-on rabbi’s wife? And most importantly for both of them, is the option of conversion for all the right reasons?
In the final episode, she declares to him, “I’m doing this because I love you!” Is this statement shallow or loving? Did she begin to question if his life and religion would compromise or enhance hers? Or is the romance bigger than any future ups or downs?
I do question myself for pulling apart a story that is being so widely viewed and loved. I wonder if during the writing/filming if the hard questions about how Jews and non-Jews would perceive the subject matter was considered or if it was all about a possible successful rom-com?
For me, it’s all about the sensitivity to the global Jewish problems and perception of Jewish identity and culture in the 21st Century.
Note that season two will be airing next Rosh Hashanah and more Jewish writers and showrunners have been hired to bring a deeper perspective to the lively conversations that have been spurred because of Nobody Wants This.
It will be a Shonda if they don’t do right in season two by delving deeper into what goes beyond this interfaith rom-com, especially whenone partner is a rabbi and represents so much more than his self-interests. As Jews, we have so much to lose or gain from this simple love story.
So, is shiksa politically incorrect in the 21 Century?
According to Webster—WHOOPS! I mean Al, “The term shiksa is Yiddish in origin and traditionally refers to a non-Jewish woman. The word comes from the Hebrew word sheketz, meaning something impure or blemished, depending upon the context and tone, whether it’s used as a judgement or in a derogatory way and can be offensive and dismissive. THOUGH in modern times it does not necessarily carry a negative connation and can be used lightheartedly. In more recent context, it’s referred to cultural and religious differences without implying a value judgement.”
So, whether you’re contemplating the connotation of the word “shiksa” in today’s world and if the TV show Nobody Wants This is just a lighthearted rom-com or has a questionable message, we can glean that we have the choice to retain our perceptions as they have always been or evolve into a somewhat unfamiliar space of acceptance that the world has/is changing all around us. Oy vey!
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On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, attorney and author Norman Shabel discusses his latest book, Four Women.
The conversation delves into the motivations behind the book, the strength and resilience of its characters, and the historical context of the story set in 1968 Miami. Themes of survival, moral questions surrounding justice, and the complexity of heroism are explored, highlighting the personal connections Shabel has with the characters and the broader implications of their struggles.
Four Women tells the saga of four brave and very different women who battle real estate developers and the city of Miami Beach while trying to save their home during the unscrupulous heyday of real estate development in South Beach in 1968.
Helen, a survivor of Auschwitz and Rachel, who led 2,500 Jewish children out of Germany during World War II, along with their defender, a 36-year-old alcoholic lawyer, do battle against a prejudicial judge and a defense lawyer who politically controls the judicial system of Miami.
It is a novel about people who have seen the dark side of the world and now strive for a life of hope and redemption.
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions.
Listen to the Audio PodcastYou can listen to the audio podcast version in the player below, or subscribe to the podcast in one of the popular platforms by clicking one of the buttons below the player.
- Apple Podcasts
- YouTube
- Spotify
- Podchaser
- Amazon Music About the GuestNorman ShabelBrooklyn-born, successful New Jersey class-action attorney turned author Norman Shabel has been driven to write ever since he can remember. By the time he was in his twenties he had written several novels that ended up stuffed in drawers as he launched his legal career, married and had a family. To date Norman has written 7 plays and 8 novels, some written in long-hand, hunched over his desk while waiting for a jury verdict to come in and all dealing with either crime, relatable family dynamics or both.
“Courts are inherently dramatic places, and I guess I saw that connection between law and theater before I even realized it,” Norman said recently. His earnest belief is that lawyers need to be good storytellers to engage juries in the “plot” of a case. “You need to hold the interest of a jury if you’re going to win them over, much like the arc of a play or the plot of a novel. If the juror or the reader or audience member gets bored you lose them very quickly. If you don’t capture them in the first 20 minutes you may as well go home – and I never like to lose a case or an audience. ”
To date, three of Norman’s plays have been produced off Broadway in NYC, Philadelphia and multiple theaters in South Florida, where he now resides for part of the year. The productions have received wonderful reviews and there are plans underway for the remainder of the plays to be produced within the next two years. Manuscripts of the plays are available by request.
Norman’s novels are mostly “terrific, fast-paced reads about the dark side of law enforcement and the judiciary” according to Judge Andrew P. Napolitano. He writes, as only an experienced trial lawyer can, about the ups and downs of the legal system, maintaining the drama of the story without sacrificing the realities of the of the structure. All of his books can be purchased on Amazon and other digital booksellers.
According to Norman, “I’m doing two things that both give my life meaning, I’m a very fortunate man.”
The post Seekers of Meaning 11/1/2024: Norman Shabel, attorney and author of “Four Women,” a crime mystery. appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
Editor’s Note: Rabbi Address is on a well-deserved vacation. Our D’var Torah this week comes from Rabbinic Pastor Carl Viniar.
When my children were very young, we were watching The Wizard of Oz on TV. As you may remember, the opening scenes were in black and white (actually, sepia-toned). I said that when I was a boy, we watched the whole movie in black and white, because our tv was a black and white set. One of them asked, quite sincerely, “but could you see in color?”
I recall that conversation whenever we get to this Torah portion. I think about seeing colors and the impact of Noah seeing the rainbow. The rainbow was transformative.
Noah had just gone through a horrible time. All of his friends were dead. He had only his immediate family and a zoo.
The world before the flood was a war zone. Commentators say there was sexual lawlessness, rampant robbery, and the complete disregard for others. That world was now gone.
But for Noah it was the only world he had. He had to start over.
The rainbow was the sign from God that God would not destroy the world again. So, Noah knew he could deal with what God had done in the past and could move into the future without the worry of losing his world again.
His world could go from black and white to color. And he was 600 years old when the flood started.
Who are we to say we are too old to deal with what life throws at us?
Most of us, as we age, deal with difficult change at some point. We lose friends, family members and spouses. Maybe we are forced to move. Or our job ends. Each trauma causes a radical shift in our life, and we have to figure out what to do next.
The first thing Noah did when he had to deal with his radical change was get drunk. But he didn’t have the resources many of us have, like friends, religious community, a support network.
But like Noah, some people do not have those important resources. If you know someone who is out there without community, invite them to join yours. Become their resource, their community.
Noah stepped off that rocking boat and on to dry solid ground. I bet it didn’t feel too solid. It definitely took a while for him to get acclimated.
So, he built an altar and planted vineyards. He got into action after facing disaster. And he lived for another 350 years.
He lived for all those years because he had a purpose (he had to repopulate the earth, that must have kept his mind off the flood), and he stayed active. Every time we see the colors of the rainbow, we should remind ourselves that we are here for a purpose. Rabbi Jonathan Sacks said that if you find something you like to do that needs to be done, you are on purpose. Just stay on the lookout, and really live your 350 years.
One last thought: The world was destroyed in Parashat Noah by a flood which occurred because of the immoral behavior of humankind.
Do we believe that there is a connection of connection between moral behavior and occurrences in the natural world?
Most people I know would say no.
But perhaps our treatment of the planet, and our disregard for the needs of others and of future generations is immoral behavior, sufficient to invite floods.
In this past month Helene and Milton accepted the invitation.
May the rainbow remind us to be on good behavior.
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Parashat Noach
פרשת נח
בראשיתGenesis 6:9 to 11:32Many disparate cultures have stories about primordial floods. In many ways, the story of Noach appears so similar to its counterpart in the saga of Gilgamesh that it appears that one or the other had been largely “plagiarized”. Noted difference is that in Gilgamesh, the capricious gods destroy creation because humanity is annoying them with their loud noises. The gods could not get a decent night’s sleep! One individual, Utnapishtim and his family is saved. Unlike Noach, Utnapishtim is not spared because of his virtues, but simply because one of the gods took a liking to him. In Noach, G-d decides to destroy most of creation because mankind was corrupt (חמס) in undefined ways (6:11 to 6:13).
Chapter 6, Verses 9 through 22 – Earth became corrupted and will be destroyedGd tells Noach that the earth became corrupted (ותשחת) and was full of חמס (Hamas). This word is not related to the terrorist group (Hamas in Arabic means zeal or strength. It is also the Arabic acronym for “Islamic Resistance Movement”). In Hebrew, Hamas means violence or cruelty. In contemporary Hebrew, the word חמאס refers to the terrorist group.
“Noach was a simple man, righteous in his generation” (איש צדיק תמים בדורותיו). This can be interpreted in two ways: Noach was not really a tzaddik; he was simply righteous only relative to everyone else in his generation, or, alternatively, that he was righteous in spite of the evilness all around him. Which do you choose as the proper interpretation?
When G-d tells him that he is about to destroy the world and he should prepare an ark, load his family, and get out of Dodge, he willingly agrees, with no pushback, argument, or negotiation. Is this the behavior of a righteous man?
Chapter 7, verses 1 through 24 and chapter 8, verses 1 through 14 – Noah and his entourage ride out the flood on the arkNote: In the previous section, G-d commanded Noach to take two of each kind of living creature. In this section, of the (as yet undefined) “clean” animals, he is to take seven pairs. Why seven, and why the contradiction? Perhaps as he would make sacrifices only from the clean animals, before they had a chance to multiply after the flood, he needed some “spares”. Clean ( טהורה- tehurah), can also be interpreted as pure. It is unlikely that the intention is kosher. Is there some other meaning?
Note that the text does not relate Noach as showing any feelings or compassion for the immense and catastrophic destruction about to befall on the rest of mankind. He acts to save his family. He just does what he is told to do. For that reason, in this week’s Haftarah portion (Isaiah 54:1 to 55:5), the flood is referred to as “the waters of Noah (מי נח), possibly implying that Noah must bear some responsibility for the catastrophe. He neither tried to reason with G-d to avert the severe decree (as Abraham would later (18:23 to 18:32) do when informed about the impending destruction of Sodom), nor try to warn the people to change their ways.
Verses 15 through 22 – G-d promises not to do this againNote line 21: “The Lord smelled the pleasing odor and the Lord said to himself – Never again will I doom the earth because of man …”. The promise is that G-d will not destroy the world. There is no implied promise that man, imbued with freedom of choice, won’t destroy the world because of his own folly. We should heed that implied warning in this age of climate change, not to mention nuclear weaponry.
It is interesting that the text relates to G-d here in human terms with human senses, thoughts and apparently regrets. Does G-d realize that he may have gone too far? “The devising of man’s mind are evil from his youth”. That is, G-d realizes and is resigned to the fact that destroying most of the world and starting over will not solve this problem.
Chapter 9, verses 1 through 29 – G-d sets a rainbow to remember his covenant; Noah plants a vineyard and gets drunk9:12 to 9:15 – G-d sets his bow in the clouds as a reminder to himself of his covenant with Noah and all his offspring, and every living thing, never again to destroy the earth by floods. Does He really need a rainbow as a reminder to himself not to destroy the world? This section may conceivably borrow from ancient mythologies that see the rainbow as the gods’ battle bow and they hang it in the sky after a victory. The 13th century sage Nahmonides surmised that the rainbow is a bow pointed away from the earth, in a sense deflecting G-d’s anger away from us.
Noach and his family are permitted (not commanded) to eat meat from all the animals and also fish. No kosher restrictions of course, so why the requirement to collect seven pairs of “clean” animals? No regard to cleanliness or kashrut. From the previous chapter, the Rabbis infer that the generations before the flood were vegetarians. Perhaps the world after the flood was a much less healthy place and so they needed the added strength given by consuming meat.
Why is Noach’ s first act after the sacrifices to be planting a vineyard? Did he want to get drunk? Perhaps he is traumatized by all that occurred (suffering from PTSD?) and wants to drown his sorrows or possibly escape from guilty feelings in drunkenness?
Noach curses Ham’s son Canaan and not Ham directly. Could this be because G-d had already blessed Ham and Noach can’t contradict G-d? Or perhaps Ham is being punished through the fate of his sons and descendants. Plaut raised the supposition that uncovering one’s nakedness was a euphemism for sexual perversion.
Chapter 10, verses 1 through 32 – The sons of Noah begin begetting, repopulate the worldThe sons of Noach began begetting big time and formed the basis for the so-called seventy primary nations that began to spread out and to repopulate the world. It is interesting to note that Israel is not listed among these seventy nations. Of course, Israel did not begin to become a nation until the generations following Jacob, the last of the patriarchs.
Chapter 11, verses 1 through 9 – Story of the Tower of Babel; dispersion of the peopleThe story of the Tower of Babel attempts to “explain” how humankind came to disperse and speak a variety of languages. In my opinion, this Is a silly paragraph in our beloved Torah and probably reflects an earlier lost tradition.
The descendants of Noach, barely having dried themselves off from the flood are off to misadventure. As a unified people with a common language, rather than disperse and repopulate the earth wit h their offspring (which they already did in chapter 10 above, so this is a merging of two somewhat contradicting traditions), instead they chose to organize and concentrate their energies into building a city and a skyscraper and make a name for themselves. It is not really clear from the text what their transgression is. Perhaps this public works project wasn’t by itself a sin (or possibly the minor sin of hubris) but its completion may have led to sinning in undefined ways. One Midrashic explanation offered by the Rabbis was that by reaching to the heavens they were attempting to enter the abode of G-d and perhaps to challenge him (there Is nothing in the Torah text to suggest or even hint at this). This was unacceptable hubris and they had to be cut down to size. By having them all speak different tongues, they could not organize or even communicate with each other, and by necessity, they disperse. End of problem! Also, their commandment was to fill the earth, and instead they engaged in this bombastic public works project.
It should also be noted that Judaism does not share an ecumenical world view. A universal culture and language are neither called for nor desirable. Ecumenicism is not a Jewish concept. Uniformity tends to stifle free expression and creative thought. Other, more contemporary commentators have noted that there is a slippery slope from uniformity to totalitarianism and the tyranny of the majority.
Babel of course refers to Babylon, the empire and city to which the Jews were exiled after the conquest of the southern Kingdom of Judea. The story can be allegory about the corruption and arrogance of Babylon. The Torah can be seen as having an anti-urban theme, the Israelites being herders and farmers as opposed to the Canaanites and the Egyptians, etc. which were in large part urban societies.
Chapter 11, verses 10 through 26 – Genealogy fro Shem to AbramGenealogy of the ten generations after the flood from Shem to Abram.
Verses 27 through 32 – Terrah sets off for Canaan, gets as far as HaranHere we set the stage for the next part of the Torah, the saga of the three patriarchs. We are not told why Terrah wanted to travel to Canaan, nor why they only got as far as Haran.
A Final word:I read one extremely relevant commentary prepared by American Jewish World Service. I want to present two excerpts:
This reading of the Noah story provides a striking parallel to our own society in the midst of a global climate-change crisis. No single act of environmental sin or indifference has caused the Earth to heat up; rather, it is the combined effect of billions of small actions across the globe. Similarly, our affluence and our ability to harness and control the Earth’s resources, which have enabled the scale of consumption that has altered our atmosphere, are the prime causes of our destruction. And, as with the generation of the flood, the waters are rising around us slowly. We still have time (perhaps not much time) to examine our actions and change them.
……….…
In this week’s Haftarah, the floodwaters are called מי נח (the waters of Noah), suggesting that although he was sufficiently righteous to be saved, Noah still bore some kind of responsibility for the destruction by not doing enough himself to prevent it. While our generation does not have the option of retreating to an ark, we do have a chance, and an obligation, to prevent the next flood, the oncoming environmental catastrophe.
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Sukkot, the fall holiday following Rosh Ha Shana and Yom Kippur, mandates you build a flimsy shelter called a Sukkah adjacent to your regular residence. The Sukkah, with only three sides and a roof covered with plant fronds that allows you to see the sky, is not a stable structure like your regular home. You are commanded to live a week in that shaky building in order to restore your connection to nature and to reexperience your relationship to the world around you. You are commanded to eat, sleep and spend time exposed to the elements in that shell of a structure in order to remind you of God’s protection in an uncertain world. Hopefully, the experience will revitalize your religious observance and reconnect you with your faith.
What a particularly appropriate time to begin my monthly column for the Jewish Sacred Aging website. You, the reader like me, are also in the autumn of your life. You too are experiencing a loss of strength and a greater sense of vulnerability. You too need to faith in yourself and God in order to continue your life journey. Life in a Sukkah, removes the illusion of physical protection. Your task is to retain your confidence at a time in your life where your new reality like the Sukkah signifies neither strength nor stability.
Despite illusions to the contrary, the truth is that at every age, and at every stage you have been equally subject to powerful forces beyond your control. Consider the recent weather reports which have demonstrated that not even the sturdiest of homes can resist the power of a hurricane. Your spiritual task it to integrate that understanding with radical acceptance that over time you like the Sukkah will become increasingly vulnerable to nature and the tides of time.
Sukkot in the Fall of the year and you in the Fall of your life emphasize a call for renewed faith in a future you cannot know, control or change. It is your job to be bolstered by your faith despite your being like a leaf driven in a cosmic wind. Despite your best efforts to control your life and your circumstances, you cannot. Rather you must live your life with hope and joy despite all circumstances. Just as the Sukkah is decorated to be welcoming, inviting, and festive you also must walk the path of being your best self. Wear your best clothes and use your best dishes both actually and symbolically as an expression of your faith to live with uncertainty as if it were an adventure, which indeed it is.
By focusing on the positive aspects of uncertainty and vulnerability, highlighted by the Holiday of Sukkot, with its call to socializing with friends and family, and to calling our ancestors into the Sukkah, you can better appreciate the positive aspects of your current life as well reduce concerns about your future. Consider the present moment as a gift. That is why it is called the present. Longevity is an experience not everyone gets to enjoy. Jane Fonda, now 87, sums it up when she said, “Anyone can be young, but only the lucky get to be old.”
So, embrace your age and the aging process and consider each day as if you were the Sukkah resplendent in your vulnerability.
Many blessings on your journey!
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On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Rabbi Richard Address speaks with Dr. Barry Jacobs about the growing challenges of caregiving in an aging society. They discuss the implications of a multi-generational caregiving crisis, the role of faith communities, the importance of technology and home modifications for aging in place, and the need for open conversations about aging. Dr. Jacobs emphasizes the necessity of preparation, education, and support for caregivers, as well as addressing healthcare inequalities and the specific challenges posed by dementia. The conversation highlights the emotional and practical aspects of caregiving, offering insights and resources for those navigating this complex journey.
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions.
Listen to the Audio PodcastYou can listen to the audio podcast version in the player below, or subscribe to the podcast in one of the popular platforms by clicking one of the buttons below the player.
- Apple Podcasts
- YouTube
- Spotify
- Podchaser
- Amazon Music About the GuestBarry J. Jacobs, Psy.D.Barry J. Jacobs, Psy.D. is a clinical psychologist, family therapist, and Principal for Health Management Associates, a national healthcare consulting firm. He is the author of The Emotional Survival Guide for Caregivers (Guilford, 2006) and coauthor (with his wife, Julia L. Mayer, Psy.D.) of AARP Meditations for Caregivers (Da Capo, 2016) and Love and Meaning After 50 (Hachette, 2029). Since 2013, he has been writing a self-help column for family caregivers for AARP.org. Since 2005, he has given over 700 regional, national, and international presentations on caregiving. He maintains a psychotherapy practice in Media, PA and virtually. For more information about him, please visit his website: www.loveandmeaning.com.
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In this video, Rabbi Edmond Weiss examines Parasha B’reisheet.
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B’reisheet
In their book, What Do You Want To Be When You Grow Old, Richard Leider and David Shapiro cite this lovely message: “There’s a reason your windshield is bigger than your rear-view mirror; where you’re headed is more important than what you’ve left behind.”
The authors then conclude that “for many people in later life, it’s all about that mirror.” So, this Shabbat we come to the first portion of Torah, B’reisheet and we begin again.
Few portions are quoted more than this one for we have creation’s two stories as well as the challenges presented to us in Chapter 3 and the moral questions of Cain and Abel.
However, this year, in thinking about this portion I wanted to suggest that there is another message here that speaks to each of us as we age. There is a tendency for many to focus on that rear-view mirror, on what was. After all, there is some sense of security and familiarity with where we have come from. The present, and maybe the future seems, at times, daunting.
Just try mastering computer skills, medical portals and A.I.
The crises that meet us all too often involve aspects of loss, and they continue to raise significant questions about where we are in life and so all too often, we are content to rest in what was.
Yet, Judaism teaches us another lesson and that lesson leaps out from the pages of the portion. We honor the past, celebrate often where we have come from, but we are also told from tradition to not fear tomorrow. Let me suggest that a message for us from this portion is that very message of creation. Do not fear to begin again.
The new life stages that we encounter in this era of longevity present us with unique opportunities to chart new phases of life. Yes, the challenges of health and finances impact this idea, however, the message of personal creation, of beginning new stages of life, this invitation is always there for us.
This is often a time of great transition for many of us. We may assume new outward identities due to life changes. Again, we are given the choice to meet those new challenges. Some people retreat and others move forward.
This portion asks us to not to fear to begin again, to create new ways of living that speak to our own hopes and dreams and skills and circumstances.
As we all know, we live now in very challenging times. The levels of anxiety from events at home and abroad make it very easy to only look to the past. But we are all moving, each day, to our own future. None of us know what that future will be.
This Torah portion, I believe, reminds us that Judaism underscores the belief that we are free to create who we wish to be. Let us carry the past with us as a sacred memory, to learn from it, to honor it but not to dwell in it.
We have been given this most precious gift of life and it is good. Our future awaits, as do the portions of Torah that now begin again. Let us try to be like these portions which we read again every week, and, hopefully, create new meaning, for we are not the same as we were.
Shabbat shalom,
Rabbi Richard F. Address
The post B’reisheet: Begin Again, Create Anew appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
One of the saddest experiences of being a senior involves relating to family and friends who are dying of a chronic degenerative disease. I have faced this with a long-term friend who appears to be in the final stage of ALS (Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis or Lou Gehrig’s Disease). I am sharing my loving approach to getting through the late stage to benefit both of us with peace.
A 45-year friendship approaches its end
My beloved Susan suffers with late ALS
ravaging her body, confusing her mind
unhinging her emotions, darkening her spirits
Our face-to-face and video-phone visits
fewer, shorter and more challenging
Disease slowly, relentlessly cancels her
Like at sunset her radiant Soul fades
With love and respect I keep on relating
I cherish our chats when Susan feels calm
open, aware, allowing my gentle touching
loving words, her sweet smiles, mild laughter
Susan’s speaking capacity declines physically
She was always a vibrant communicator
Keeps on trying, but inability intrudes
repeating, frustrating, resigned quiet
Her cognitive connections collapsing
Even more heart wrenching to accept
the delusions Susan currently speaks
Her complaints and demands increase
more persistent, outrageous, desperate
Distorting her face, her voice, her words
Fermenting inner turmoil pushes me away
I resist the ego voice to withdraw from Susan
Can I practice the Unconditional Love I want
to see in a world of uneven consciousness?
I open my heart, look in Susan’s eyes
Massage her arms, back, legs and feet
I endeavor to speak from my heart
The words flow … our old feisty romance
her life’s many wonderful triumphs
support for each other in pain or joy
I take a tune, like “You Are My Sunshine”
sing made-up words to acclaim Susan
our shared inspiration and wisdom
her vital presence a part of me
I wish Susan peace, grace on her journey
My love endures … past, now, forever
The post Wishing Peace to a Fading Senior Loved One appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
You ever have one of those days, where you have so much to do, and yet you just do not feel like doing anything? This column was written under that spell. So, it took me a long time to write this column. More than three weeks. It was hard.
Michael, August 28; Howie, September 3; Bernie, September 12; Jack, September 20; Yossi, September 21. I will remember them all.
Twenty-four days. Five of my friends and colleagues disappeared. We are told their spirits live on and we still have our memories. But they are not here anymore. I don’t like that.
I try to not even think about Sergio Mendez, James Earl Jones, Maggie Smith, Kris Kristofferson, Gavin Creel, Pete Rose or Dikembe Mutombo, all people who I did not know. But each one, in a completely different way, contributed to my development. They also left us during those same 24 days. I don’t like that, either.
And I do not know the numbers, but Israeli soldiers died, and many other people, civilians as well as soldiers, died in the Middle East during that same period. And in conflicts elsewhere in the world. And the floods and the famine, killed even more. I hate that. And don’t the deaths seem to be coming at us faster than ever? Is it because we are getting older that we see more clearly the illness and death around us. Has it always been there, but now I just notice it more? Or is it actually becoming more common as we age? Is this another reason to not like getting older?
I think the last time I liked getting older was when I was 17 years old. Sometimes I still think like I am 17 (some question my maturity), but then I look in the mirror, or I walk up the stairs. Or I hear about someone else who has died or gotten sick. To make life scarier, covid seems to be ramping up again, and for us older folk, it is extremely dangerous. And my friends keep testing positive for that, too. Oh lord!
I know that death is part of life. And the longer we live, the larger part it does play. It is no longer just something we read about. It is now personal. It is my friends. But how do I accept that? Well, it is not like writing a column that I can put off. This is not something I have to think about accepting, because it just is. It will happen over my objections. So, I must decide how to deal, how to react.
On Rosh Hashanah we sang a song I had never heard before. The chorus was:
I know we are hoping for better times to come
As we make one more circle around the sun
I know we’re praying for better times to come
As we make one more circle around the sun
The song touched me. It reminded me that the Jewish New Year reminds us that time keeps going, that the cycles continue, even though we feel different this time. We actually feel different every time. And the song says that each and every year (I assert, whether the last year feels like it has been good or bad), we hope and pray that the next year will be better.
Lord Rabbi Jonathan Sacks said that “to be a Jew is to be an agent of hope in a world seriously threatened by despair. Every ritual, every element of Jewish law, is a protest against escapism, resignation of the blind acceptance of fate. Judaism is a sustained struggle, the greatest ever known, against a world that is, in the name of the world that could be, should be, but is not yet.” (I wish I could be that articulate.) I have posted that quote. I keep reading it to myself. Because I need to keep reminding myself.
I know that in the face of horrible things, as Jews, we must live with hope. It is our tradition. But this time of the year we must remember that we need more than hope. We must do more than pray. Prayer without action is insufficient. So, in the face of so much death, what do we do?
We turn to our rituals and traditions. We visit the sick, we comfort the mourner, and we accompany the dead. We care for the needy. We support our less fortunate brothers and sisters. As my rabbi so poignantly said in one of her sermons, we keep moving. We cannot, we must not, stand still and wallow in our grief. So many of the sermons around the country during Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur were on grief and on hope. There is a good reason. Because times are difficult. We seem to be losing ground. And yet in our grief, we must remain hopeful, and to make that hope a reality, we must take action.
Even as we reach that age when the people around us are dying. It is sad. It is sometimes confusing. We often look for explanations. But there are none. It is part of life. And as I said before, it is becoming a more common occurrence in our lives. So, in the life we have left, let’s get out there, and leave our marks.
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On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Florida Elder Law attorney Shannon Miller discusses the wide range of online scams and frauds targeting seniors and steps you can take to protect yourself.
Summary of the conversation prepared with assistance from artificial intelligenceIn this episode, Rabbi Richard Address speaks with elder care attorney Shannon Miller about the alarming rise of scams targeting older adults. They discuss the statistics surrounding elder exploitation, the psychological and financial vulnerabilities of seniors, and the sophisticated tactics used by scammers. Shannon emphasizes the importance of awareness, preventative measures, and community education to combat this growing issue. The conversation also touches on the role of technology in facilitating scams and the legal avenues available for victims.
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- Amazon Music About the GuestShannon M. Miller, BCSSHANNON M. MILLER, B.C.S., ESQ., was born in Davis, California and was raised in Silver Spring, Maryland. Shannon relocated to Gainesville, Florida in 1994.
Shannon received her B.A. from Virginia Polytechnic Institute in 1991 and her J.D. from the University of Maryland Law School in Baltimore, Maryland. She was commissioned into the United States Marine Corps in 1992. She was admitted to The Florida Bar in 1994 and admitted to the U.S. District Court Southern, Middle, and Northern Districts in 1996. She became a Florida Bar Board Certified Specialist in Elder law in 2011.
In 2005, Shannon was certified as a Circuit Civil Mediator and Arbitrator by the Supreme Court of Florida. Shannon’s experiences within her own family inspired her interest in protecting seniors and their families. Protecting seniors’ independence, while making sure their assets are protected, and giving seniors the best possible death is her life’s work, and the main reason she became an elder law attorney.
She is a member of: the Florida Bar, the American Inns of Court, the Elder Law Section of The Florida Bar, the Academy of Florida Elder Law Attorneys, the Eighth Judicial Circuit Bar Association, and the North Central Florida Senior Advocacy Network. Shannon served as President of the Florida Academy of Elder Law Attorneys and Executive of the Elder Law Section. Shannon is a frequent speaker at the National Association of Elder Law Attorneys, Hospice, Florida State Guardianship Association, Florida Ombudsman, the Alzheimer’s Association, and various law enforcement agencies. She has been certified through the National Network of Estate Planning Attorneys and is an active member of the Life Care Planning Law Firm Association.
Shannon’s special interests include yoga, St. Augustine Beach, animals, traveling, and investing.
Her practice areas include: Guardianships, Probate & Trust Administration, Estate Planning, Life Care Planning, Medicaid Planning, Exploitation Litigation, Mediation, Arbitration, Special Needs Planning, and Probate and Trust Litigation.
The post Seekers of Meaning 10/18/2024: Elder Law Attorney Shannon Miller on Scams and Frauds Targeting Seniors appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
Everything about Yom Kippur is spirit; everything about Sukkot physical.
Rabbi Shlomo Riskin
On the Sabbath that occurs during the week of Sukkoth, it is traditional to read from the Book of Ecclesiastes, or Kohelet. Kohelet is one of those rich, beautiful, and profound “wisdom books” found in the Ketuvim (Writings) section of the Hebrew Bible. And though many prefer Job, I find Kohelet the wisest of them all.
Were it not for this Sukkoth tradition, most of us would never experience this work in Hebrew. Interestingly, though, many of us know parts of it from the King James English translation. “Vanity of vanities, all is vanity!” “There is nothing new under the sun.” And some parts have been made it into well-known songs: “For everything there is a season — a time to live and time to die…”
One of Hemingway’s best novels is named The Sun Also Rises, and the opening of Shakespeare’s 59th Sonnet is nearly a paraphrase: If there be nothing new, but that which is/ Hath been before, how are our brains beguil’d…
As you can tell from just these few excerpts, Ecclesiastes, though poetically beautiful, is also rather gloomy and fatalistic. In fact, if you substitute “futility” for “vanity” — a better translation — it sounds positively depressing. (Other translations that can be derived from the biblical context in which they appear are impermanence, incomprehensibility, absurdity, nothingness, and wind.) On this problem of translation, R. Cover of the Dallas Theological Seminary has this to say:
Kohelet deliberately chose a word (hevel) with a calculated ambiguity; he skillfully employed it in a variety of contexts so that several associated meanings could be communicated without the use of synonyms. . . It must be emphasized that Kohelet nowhere uses hevel pejoratively or with morally negative connotations. For Kohelet hevel is a neutral term expressing brilliantly in its figurative nuances, the limitations of human activity and human wisdom.
In the King James Translation, Kohelet, Ecclesiastes, is some of the best, and the darkest, poetry in English. Consider its introduction:
1:12 I Kohelet was king over Israel in Jerusalem.13. And I gave my heart to seek and search out by wisdom concerning all things that are done under heaven; it is a hard task that God has given to the sons of man to be exercised with. 14. I have seen all the works that are done under the sun; and, behold, all is vanity and a striving after wind.
More than a few scholars have wondered why this book is in the Bible at all, since it appears, on the surface at least, to contradict many of the core beliefs espoused in the Torah. So… Why is it in the Bible? Why do we read it aloud in synagogue? And why during Sukkoth?
About EcclesiastesThere is a straightforward answer to the question of why Ecclesiastes, a mitzvah-free rumination on the impermanence and futility of life is in the Bible: No one is sure.
Although it enters the canon during the Hellenistic period1, scholars think it is much older and may have had a large constituency among groups that compiled the text. Rabbi Dov Lipman wrote, “Kohelet isn’t really a book with Jewish content; however, because it states that it was written by King Solomon, the sages included it in the Ketuvim, the Writings, division of the Tanach.”
Its message, in effect, is to enjoy life while you can. Understand that “stuff” happens; the good are not always rewarded and the bad are not always punished. There is nothing a person can do to escape death (and there is no mention of afterlife); the rich and poor are headed to the same end. Everything of beauty and value perishes. And there is no greater pleasure in life than the ephemeral happiness of a good meal with the woman you love:
Ecclesiastes 9:4For to him who is joined to all the living there is hope; for a living dog is better than a dead lion. 5. For the living know that they shall die; but the dead know nothing, nor do they have a reward anymore; for the memory of them is forgotten.
But Ecclesiastes is not a purely nihilistic essay. Several times The Preacher speaks in praise of Wisdom over folly: for example
Ecclesiastes 9:17The words of the wise heard in quietness are better than the shouting of a ruler among fools.
Even though he said earlier
Ecclesiastes 2:13Then I saw that wisdom excels folly, as far as light excels darkness. 14. The wise man’s eyes are in his head; but the fool walks in darkness; and I myself perceived also that one event happens to them all. 15. Then said I in my heart, As it happens to the fool, so it happens even to me; and why was I then more wise? Then I said in my heart, that this also is vanity.
But the question remains. Why is wisdom better than folly? How is one to endure a life of perpetual loss and inevitable futility? And what does Judaism have to do with any of this?
The priests and redactors who defined the contents of the Bible were also worried that the text might obviate many of the teachings of Torah. So, most scholars agree, they added one or two epilogues to the original text.
First, here’s how the author ended his sermon:
12:7 Then shall the dust return to the earth as it was: and the spirit
shall return unto God who gave it.12:8 Vanity of vanities, saith the preacher; all is vanity.
The first epilogue switches from the first to the third person:
12:9 And moreover, because the preacher was wise, he still taught the people knowledge; yea, he gave good heed, and sought out, and set in order many proverbs.
12:10 The preacher sought to find out acceptable words: and that which was written was upright, even words of truth. 12:11 The words of the wise are as goads, and as nails fastened by the masters of assemblies, which are given from one shepherd.
The second epilogue switches back to the first person, but it’s not clear whether Kohelet is being impersonated, or whether the redactor is speaking for himself:
12:12 And further, by these, my son, be admonished: of making many books there is no end; and much study is a weariness of the flesh22.
12:13 Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man.
12:14 For God shall bring every work into judgment, with every secret thing, whether it be good, or whether it be evil.
Although “Fear God and keep his commandments” is a jarring and irrelevant summary to this book, it nevertheless provides the warrant for later Rabbis to extract homilies that contrast the vanity or futility of life with the unswerving rule of God.
Interpretation 1: Temporary versus permanentRabbis tend to link the unpredictability of life in Kohelet with the flimsiness of the Sukkah. Professor Paula Hyman, who taught Jewish History at Yale, explains, “The book of Ecclesiastes that we read on the Shabbat of Sukkot reinforces this message of the transiency of our existence with its cry that all is futile.” And what used to be called the UAHC, in its guide to the holiday, tells us, “The most common explanation of Ecclesiastes’ message, that worldly possessions are vain and transitory, corresponds to the central message of Sukkot. Like the sukkah, which is a temporary and vulnerable structure, life itself can be fragile and dangerous.”
Other rabbis point out that, during the time of the fall harvest, especially if it is bountiful, perhaps people need to be reminded that one never knows that a good harvest is coming. The open roof of the Sukkah, our vulnerability to the elements, is meant to humble us, to disabuse us of the idea that safety and survival are man’s lot. And so, to undermine that false sense of power and security, Kohelet reminds us that bad things can happen any time, a harvest can be destroyed by aberrant weather, and that it makes no difference if we are good and honorable people.
And, thanks to the redactors’ epilogue, Kohelet also offers us hope. Orthodox Jewish journalist Amy Kramer, who believes that Solomon wrote Kohelet and that the epilogue was his own work, concludes that:
In contrast to the more sensual Song of Songs, which was written at an earlier point in King Solomon’s life, the book of Kohelet was written after the king experienced of life’s pleasures. Solomon concludes with the message, ”The end of the matter, all having been heard, fear God and keep His commandments; for this applies to all mankind.”
And Rabbi Dovid Soloveitchik, (Rosh Yeshiva in Gush Shemonim) goes even further, insisting that pleasure of Sukkoth, the happiness and abundance of the harvest, has nothing to do with physical pleasure at all:
The joy experienced during Sukkot was a spiritual experience that was based on mitzvoth—not superficial, physical factors. In order for a person to feel this unique, spiritually based joy, one must first step back from the pleasures and desires of this world. This is what the megillah of Ecclesiastes is all about and is why it is specifically read on Sukkot. Once we take to heart its lesson that this world is temporary and unfulfilling, we can then learn to experience a new level of joy, through the performance of Hashem’s mitzvot.
Again, these interpretations depend mightily on the epilogue, that awkward appendage that glosses over the profound content of the book. Which of the commandments, for example, protects us from the wisdom that every one of life’s pursuits is merely “chasing after wind”?
Interpretation 2: InhibitionThe second theory is that Kohelet is read mainly to depress people who are feeling too lustily happy.
When one religion conquers another, a straightforward way to win over the forced converts is to integrate some of their old religious festivals and rituals into the new ones, repurposing them enough to dispel the memory of the old ways. For most students of history, the best-known example of this occurred when the northward- expanding Roman Catholic empire convinced the pagans of the north that their Norse Saturnalia was actually Christmas! (Both holidays, of course, and probably Hanukkah as well, were repurposed celebrations of the winter equinox, honored by earlier pagans.)3
Passover, for example, is sometimes referred to as Chag Matzot, which appears to be a pre-Israelite festival.4 If we think of this holiday as a modified fast, meant to facilitate the arrival of the vernal equinox, then we can see easily that Passover, Lent, and Ramadan5 are the later derivatives of this pagan superstition.
Sukkoth, it appears, a harvest festival, absorbed some of the extant fertility rites practiced by the conquered Canaanites. According to Karen Armstrong (in The History of God), “The ancient Canaanite religions were still flourishing in Israel… the Israelites were still taking part in fertility rites and sacred sex there, as we see in the oracles of the prophet Hosea…”
Just as, today, many Jewish communities celebrate the end of Sukkoth—Simchat Torah—with festive dancing and music-making, similarly in the Second Temple era the holiday concluded with an even more raucous celebration called Simcha Beit HaShoeva, the water-drawing festival. The Bavli tells us “He that never has seen the simchat beit hashoevah (the joy of the Water-Drawing) has never in his life seen joy.”
While on the surface, there isn’t anything especially sensual or joyous about pouring water from one vessel to another, the mood and setting were frantic with excitement. Consider this exotic detail from tractate Sukkah:
There were golden candlesticks there with four golden bowls on the top of them. The candlesticks were fifty cubits high. Four ladders led up to each candlestick, and four youths from the priestly stock went up holding in their hands jars of oil, of twenty-four logs’ capacity, which they poured into the bowls.
They made wicks out of worn-out drawers and girdles of the priests, and with them they set the candlesticks alight, and there was not a courtyard in Jerusalem that did not reflect the light of the beit hashoevah.
Apparently, most of the cavorting featured a bird-like display of male-prowess, in which the young priests succumbed to the joy of the occasion with feats of strength and skill for the benefit of a largely female audience. This all-night party has also been characterized as a festival of “sacred juggling.” We read that R. Simeon ben Gamaliel was so adept that, with eight torches going, not one of them touched the ground when he prostrated himself, touched his fingers to the pavement, bent down, kissed it, and at once sprang up (Sukkah 53a).
Rabbi Harry Freedman, who did much of the Soncino translation of the Talmud, tell us that the offering of water on the altar was a recognition of the blessing bestowed by rain. The celebration, centered on light and joy underlined the life-enhancing power of the rains.6
Contemporaneous accounts indicate that thousands of people participated in the ceremony, and that most who made a pilgrimage to Jerusalem during Sukkoth did so mainly to enjoy the spectacle—which, despite the best attempts of the rabbis to prove otherwise, has no basis in Torah and was, in fact, conducted over the strenuous objections of the senior priests and wealthy Sadducees who found the whole business undignified and embarrassing.
For us today, it is easy to imagine. A quiet, reverential neighborhood suddenly turns into Woodstock once a year. A Catholic publication, the Interpreter’s Dictionary of the Bible, has this to say:
Today, this music and dance festival is understood as the one remnant of the old Canaanite fertility rituals… This was perhaps the only occasion where popular music- making was allowed to mix with the otherwise sternly guarded prerogative of Levitical music…Consequently, secular, superstitious, even popular licentious elements were here introduced in the performance of the temple’s liturgical music.
From this point of view, Kohelet is a necessary tranquilizer. “Consider your fate,” the revelers are warned, and that was supposed to take some of the zeal from their celebrating.
I doubt that the theory behind this second interpretation would work, though. I don’t know about you, but when I read Kohelet my inclination is to ask for more wine and louder music!
Notes1. Fighting vainly against destiny and ultimately succumbing to death is about as Greek a theme as you can find. It is the basis of classical tragedy. ︎ 2. Obviously, written before the era of the Rabbis ︎ 3. Many believe that Thanksgiving is a repurposed Sukkoth (or Festival of Tabernacles). ︎ 4. The explanation for the eating of matzah on Passover is possibly the least credible part of the answers to the four questions. ︎ 5. Ramadan moves through the year because the Muslim calendar is lunar. It no doubt began in spring. ︎ 6. The insertion of “masheev haruach…” into the Amida is a reference to rain as a fertility symbol. ︎
The post Guest D’var Torah: Why Do We Read Ecclesiastes (Kohelet) During Sukkoth? appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
My Kar-Ben Executive Jewish calendar for 5785 does not name the Torah portion to be read this Shabbat, 17 Tishri, 19 October 2024. This blank was also on October 12 which overlapped with Yom Kippur this year. Not having gone to seminary, this made me very intellectually curious.
I found references to a few parshyot for 19 October. I delved deeper into the one from Chabad. I feel that it ties into the atonement theology of Yom Kippur and the attributes of HaShem which should be before our eyes more so at this time. It is Parsha Shemot from Exodus.
The Chabad translation of Exodus 34:1 in Shemot is, “And the Lord said to Moses: “Hew for yourself two stone tablets like the first ones. And I will inscribe upon the tablets the words that were on the first tablets, which you broke. ….”
“Which you broke” is a fact. Where is the feeling? How did G-d feel about Moses having broken the first set of tablets? The first set of tablets broke when Moses came down the mountain and saw that the people had lost patience and faith in him that Moses would ever come down the mountain, so the people went ahead and melted their gold into a bull or a calf. Moses told them they had sinned in that action and he, Moses, would ascend back to G-d and apologize for their sin. Moses does not say he would apologize for breaking the tablets. Since one theory is the tablets suddenly became quite heavy and could not be held any longer, maybe Moses felt it was not he who had broken the tablets.
In any case, in Exodus 34:1, G-d does not show the anger that could be expected but rather, simply, you broke the first set of tablets, bring me a new set of tablets, I will inscribe on them, and then you will take the new tablets to the people. Perhaps taking the inscribed tablets with the concise guide to the law to the people was more important than dwelling on the blame for the broken tablets.
In the next aliyah, Exodus 34:6, there is a phrase that is extracted and appears both towards the beginning and towards the end of the Yom Kippur liturgy. It is: “Adonai, Adonai, El Rachum v’chanun, erech apayim ve’rav chesed ve’emet notzer chesed la’alafim noseh avon vafeshah v’chata’ah v’nakeh.” Adonai, Adonai, El Rachum v’chanun” is a phrase that describes G-d as compassionate, gracious, patient, and forgiving, consoling those who are afflicted, slow to anger, plus other attributes. That is the excerpt which appears in the Yom Kippur liturgy. The Yom Kippur machzor does not include Exodus 34:7, the “rest of the story,” where “He visits the iniquity of parents on children and children’s children, to the third and fourth generations.” Later in Tanakh, in Ezekiel 18:20, the theory has perhaps evolved and we learn, ”the sins of the parents are not inherited by the children.”
Writing in The Tablet Magazine, on October 11, 2024, in anticipation of Yom Kippur, Jewish psychotherapist Alter Yisrael Shimon Feurman teaches, “On Yom Kippur, make room for ‘wrong.’ Do not be “The Unrepentant Self.” When Feurman was five or six years old, he had intentionally spilled enough water on his bathroom floor to leak into the apartment below, causing damage. He never admitted he had done that.
Why not? As a Jewish psychotherapist, Feurman conjectures, “This memory comes to me as we approach Yom Kippur because this would seem to be exactly G-d’s offer on the Day of Atonement as well. Confess (with a modicum of contrition) and you will be forgiven. Easier said than done. …. “Admit what you did and you will be forgiven. It’s a simple formula.” Feurman’s advice: “If we can reflect, we can grow by making room for wrong, we even grow ourselves sometimes by doing wrong.”
Fast forward to August 2024. The Geller family from Israel do an outing to the Hecht Museum of Antiquities, a part of the archeology school of Haifa University. The museum has always exhibited some of its ancient pottery not encased in glass. Mother Anna Geller said she looked away for just a second. Four-year old son Ariel Geller, the child in the family group that day, was so curious about looking inside one of the at least 3,500 year-old pottery vases, that he tipped it over to look inside, but the pottery vase kept tipping and tipping and fractured into pieces on the floor.
Another Jewish moment of opportunity for an apology or not? Alex Geller, the boy’s father, did go ahead and find a museum security guard and say they were sorry. We did it. The Gellers feared the worst possible punishment, both legal and financial. However, the museum did the unexpected. The museum accepted the apology, restored the vase, leaving one hole to remind all that it had been broken, gave the Geller family a private tour including seeing the restoration in progress, and the museum even accepted a clay vase four-year-old Ariel had made for the museum. The museum still exhibits pottery unprotected, but now has added “Please Do Not Touch” signs.
David Frankel, writing in aish.com, also in anticipation of Yom Kippur this year, reminds us that “All the agonizing hours spent in shul pouring out your heart to G-d won’t alleviate the damage done to another’s feelings. Atonement for these sins can only be gained by requesting forgiveness from those we have hurt. The reason is simple yet fundamental. We must understand that part of our relationship with G-d is the relationship between ourselves and our fellow Jews.”
It is not easy to face another we felt we have wronged and request forgiveness. We fear horrible outcomes, like the other party will not be interested, will turn a cold shoulder, will respond with a horrible argument, or worse. Yet, we are taught that we are b’tselem elohim, in G-d’s image. The Torah gives us G-d’s attributes and requests us to emulate those attributes. This parsha teaches the attribute that sometimes, when someone, your neighbor, friend, or family errs with what you loaned them, like the first set of tablets, it just might be wiser not to dwell on it, especially if, by this person coming before you, you both can move on to higher goals and outcomes.
G-d says, “You broke the tablets, bring me another set of tablets.” G-d sets the example that facing what you did just might not be as fearsome as you imagine. G-d sets the example for us to emulate. Try it in the year beginning.
The post I’m Sorry May Not Be That Hard appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
This video series is produced by Hanan Harchol, who has contributed videos here previously. These animations were created with generous funding by The Covenant Foundation.
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פרשת וזאת הברכה
דברים Deuteronomy 33:1 to 34:12
This short parashah is the final one in the fifth and final book of the Torah. This parashah is read on Simchat Torah (שמחת תורה) together with the first two sections of Genesis (Chapter 1, verse 1 through chapter 2, verse 3), ending one yearly cycle of reading the Torah and beginning the cycle anew. The holiday of Simchat Torah is post Talmudic, introduced about half a millennium ago.
Chapter 33, verses 1 through 5 – Moses gives blessing and prophesy to the people
In Genesis, Jacob blessed each of his twelve sons (the progenitors of the tribes of Israel) individually before his death. Now Moses, about to die, blesses each of the twelve tribes (except for the tribe of Simeon).
In chapter 22, verse 1 Moses is referred to as “The man of Gd” (איש האלוקים), a special reference to him that does not appear anywhere else in the Torah. What is its significance here?
Verses 6 through 29 – Moses delivers individual blessings to eleven of the twelve tribes
Moses delivers a somewhat cryptic set of blessings and prophecies to each of the tribes. Moses blessings do not have the sharp criticisms that Jacob handed to his sons (the progenitors of the tribes) in Exodus, chapter 49.
The blessing for Judah (verse 7) includes “restore him to his people” which may be reference to the split into southern and northern kingdoms after the death of Solomon. Simeon, alone among the tribes, does not receive an individual blessing. This may be because Simeon was absorbed into the tribe of Judah during the period of the Judges.
Chapter 34, verses 1 through 12 – Death of Moses on Mount Nevo
Now we come to the brief final chapter of the final book of the Torah. As this section describes the death of Moses, perhaps it can be considered the epilogue.
Moses ascended Mount Nebo, one of the peaks east of the Jordan River to look out over the land of Israel which he is not permitted to enter. Of course, there is no actual vantage point there from which you can view more than a fraction of the land so this cannot be taken literally.
This final section of the Torah was the inspiration for Dr Martin Luther King’s famous “… I see the promised land …” speech given in Memphis the day before he was assassinated (1968).
The specific geographic location of Mount Nebo, like Mount Sinai, is not specifically defined. ”He” buried him (ויקבר אתו). The Hebrew is ambiguous as whether the intent is that G-dburied him or that “somebody” buried him.
Moses died at that spot, and he was buried in the valley. The Torah specifically states that his burial place remains unknown to this day. Commentators have surmised that this is so the site would not become a destination of pilgrimage. The Torah is silent as to whether Moses died with a sense of closure at his lifetime achievements or harbored resentment at not being allowed to cross the River Jordan and enter the promised land.
Moses died at the ripe old age of 120 and he was still vigorous (לא נס לחה). He was mourned for thirty days and then Joshua took charge.
Verse 10: There never was another prophet like Moses, who had a unique “face to face” פנים) אל פנים) relationship with Gd. What does this mean? Rabbis interpreted this as meaning that Moses enjoyed a degree of familiarity and openness with G-dthat was not, and never will be afforded another mortal.
With this, the Torah, the first part of the Hebrew Bible, ends. The saga of the Israelites as they enter and fight to conquer the land of Israel and call it their own continues with the Book of Prophets.
Even among the orthodox, the question of who wrote chapter 34 is a subject of debate. One school is that it was written by Moses along with the rest of the Torah, as dictated by Gd. Another school is that this section was written by Joshua after the death of Moses, to complete the Torah.
At the conclusion of the reading of any of the five books of the Torah, it is customary to recite:
חזק חזק ונתחזק
(Be strong, Be Strong, and we will be strengthened)
As we complete the final parashah in the fifth and final book of the Torah, and before we begin the never ending cycle anew this coming shabbat with the first parashah of the first book (Genesis – בראשית), let us reflect on the words of the first century CE Rabbi with the unforgettable name of Ben Bag Bag (בן בג בג): “Turn it and turn it again, for all is in it. Look into it and grow old and worn in it. Do not budge from it, for there is nothing that works better than it.” (Pirkei Avot – פרקי אבות 5:22)
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On this episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Rabbi Address offers a special message for this year’s High Holy Days observance.
Summary prepared with AI assistanceIn this commentary, Rabbi Richard Address discusses the themes of the High Holidays and shares insights on aging and spirituality. He explores the concepts of acceptance and surrender, holding on and letting go, and the power of choice in shaping our lives. Rabbi Address emphasizes the importance of community and face-to-face interactions as we age and highlights the significance of the sacred and divine in our lives. He concludes with a prayer for peace and well-being in the year ahead.
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
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We thank our blessings for having been written in the Book of Lifethis past year. As 5785 comes upon us, are we approaching this High Holiday season with more concerns and worries than last year?
We baby boomers are facing that we have more years behind us than ahead of us.
A fact of life that is hard to reconcile, because as we age, we are aware of how cherished life is, that our health is everything, that our loved ones are more precious to us each day, and that the politics of our country have more consequences than ever.
A lot of anxieties and fears to deal with, regardless of one’s age, but as I speak with so many baby boomers, it’s difficult to put these apprehensions aside. So many folks share with me the issue of, “What kind of world are we leaving to our children and grandchildren?” Most of these doubts are subjects concerning the safety of our society, whether it’s gun control or outside terrorists, climate change, the economy and the political health of the United States.
Many of our parents and grandparents were immigrants who gave significant contributions to the positive impacts in this country after WWll that affected what the US is today. There is no doubt that immigrants contributed to economic innovation and growth to the manufacturing, agricultural and construction labor forces, to entrepreneurship that increased the Mama-Papa neighborhood businesses, to the scientific and engineering fields, to inventions, technology, medical and research disciplines. Many immigrants became active in civil rights, advocating for social justice and equality, many became educators and scholars who shared their intellectual world view in local schools and universities.
What I often feel is overlooked, and unfortunately a divisive issue these days, is the colorful and meaningful diversity** the immigrants shared with usand howthe United States has flourished from their contributions.
The above-mentioned contributions are obvious, but can you imagine a country without the cultural diversity of music, art, food, language, dress, customs, holidays? We would be a society of Stepford Wives, bland, colorless, looking alike, talking alike, eating the same foods.
I grew up in East Los Angeles, a community of immigrants significantly Mexican, Asian, Korean, Black and Jewish. My family owned a business on the main shopping street where all these diverse families either owned businesses, worked as employees, shopped and gathered for holidays and special events. Some of my earliest memories are of Mariachi bands, the smells of Korean BarBQ, fortune cookies and chop sticks, the wonderful Black employees who entertained us with song and dance and the aroma of Cantor’s Deli where you could put your hand in a pickle barrel and pick your own pickle while the Chicago salamis hung from the ceiling!
What a smorgasbord of delights on all the diverse customs of our neighbors! I loved everything about it, but most importantly, I believe it’s where I learned exactly what diversity was and how valuable immigrants where to American society. We are enriched by learning and sharing our rituals, learning that my Bubbe’s kreplach was almost the same as our next-door neighbor’s Chinese dumpling, that the Day of the Dead celebrated by my Hispanic school mates was practically the same as Yom Kippur! We both pay homage to our deceased relatives! I learned that Jews and Asians both emphasize education, family bonds, have withstood historically racial discrimination and prejudice while upholding a strong work ethic, desire to succeed in business opportunities and take philanthropy and communal support very seriously. And both cultures share food as a sign of caring and comfort.
In fact, most ethnic cultures embrace that Food is Love.
So, as I anticipate the upcoming High Holidays, I ponder on how we can make the world a better place for our next generation and how we can participate in being proactive in the process. While I prepare my shopping list for our family’s Rosh Hashanah dinner, I will be thinking about the foods they like best as that’s my contribution to our continued tradition, because they know that Food is Love! And I will share some of the stories I have of the diverse community I was privileged to grow up in while remembering those of years past who contributed to my rich education in diversity.
Some things can’t be taught in school so let’s expose our children and grandchildren to all who have value in making the world a better and more diverse society and then share Expressions of Love for a peaceful, healthy, safer and more diverse community.
Expressions of Love have many shapes and forms, tastes and smells! As we usher in Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, I pray that the diversity in our country finds ways to educate, enrich and enhance all peoples of the United States and we learn that:
We all have more similarities than differences!
“May you and your loved ones be inscribed in the 5785 Book of Life with a year filled with love, happiness, health, justice, peace and a smorgasbord of diverse people in your life!”
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On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Hazzan Alisa Pomerantz-Boro, cantor of Congregation Beth El in Voorhees, NJ, discusses the spiritual significance of music in the high holiday liturgy.
Summary of conversation assisted by AIRabbi Richard Address engages with Hazzan Alisa Pomerantz-Boro to explore the profound impact of sacred music in Jewish tradition, particularly during the High Holidays. They discuss the emotional connection that music fosters within the community, the legacy of musical practices, and the evolution of Jewish music as a melting pot of cultural influences. Alisa shares her personal journey and the importance of creating a meaningful prayer experience that resonates with congregants of all ages. The conversation highlights the challenges and joys of being a cantor, the significance of improvisation in prayer, and the hope for healing and connection in a broken world.
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
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- Amazon Music About the GuestHazzan Alisa Pomerantz-BoroHazzan Alisa Pomerantz-Boro grew up on Mercer Island, Washington, in a rabbinic home, instilled with a love of Judaism and music. From an early age, she knew she would continue the long family line of rabbis and cantors.
She was ordained as a Hazzan and earned her degree in Sacred Jewish Music from the Cantors Institute of the Jewish Theological Seminary of America in New York, where she was awarded the Jacobson Memorial Prize in Hazzanut. She was selected as the speaker when she received her honorary Doctorate from JTS. She holds a B.A. in Near Eastern Studies and Music from the University of Washington.
Hazzan Pomerantz-Boro has served as Beth El’s cantor since 2004. For 13 years before that, she served at Tifereth Israel Synagogue in San Diego, California. While in Cantorial school, she broke new ground as the Assistant Cantor at New York’s Park Avenue Synagogue, that shul’s first female member of the clergy. She was among the first 14 women to be inducted into the Cantors Assembly in May 1991, an international organization she ultimately served as President.
Among numerous recognitions, Hazzan Pomerantz-Boro received the 2011 Hiddur Mitzvah Award presented by Masorti Olami/World Council of Conservative Synagogues to “pillars of leadership in the Conservative Movement”. She was the first recipient of The Cantors Assembly Hazon – Visionary Award and most recently received Hadassah’s coveted Myrtle Wreath Award.
Hazzan and her husband, Stephen, have two beautiful children, Rebecca and Joshua. She hopes and prays that by lifting our voices together, we will continue to build a better world.
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Reflections on YizkorEditor’s Note: This essay by Reb Simcha Raphael was originally published here in 2019. We are republishing it as a guest D’var Torah this week because of the approach of Shabbat T’shuvah.
A story is told of Reb Simcha Bunam, one of the early and great Hasidic masters, who was close to the last moments of life. As he lay in bed, his grief-stricken wife burst into tears. With calm equanimity, the dying man looked at her lovingly, and said: “Why are you crying? My whole life was only that I might learn how to die.” And with these words rolling off his lips, he died peacefully, fully accepting his finite human fate.
In many ways this is a strange deathbed story.
The very idea of spending one’s life learning to die stands in radical contrast with our societal norms which assert that life and youth, above all, are important. Prescriptions for living are taught by parents and promulgated in schools. From a young age, children are given life skills; adolescents taught how to cope with the vicissitudes of social and economic life in our times. And elders are given inspirational guidelines to keep on living, enjoying life. As a society, we do all we can to avoid the subject of dying and death — and yet, as human beings, die we must!
Even though the reality of death and dying is hard-wired into the operating system of human folk, our society is death-denying. No one wants to talk about death — in so many ways, large and small, we avoid the D-word. The very language we use distances us from the reality of human mortality. People don’t die, we say they passed, passed away, passed on, expired (my teacher Reb Zalman used to say he would have to check his driver’s license regularly to see if he had expired), or in the colloquial euphemism par excellence, we say they “kicked the bucket”. As a culture, we sanitize death, avoid talking about the deceased, and in well-meaning ways people often say to friends and loved ones who are bereaved, “Call me if you need me.” Then we stay away from grief-stricken people because we are uncomfortable with too much display of emotion.
As many people recall, at the funeral of John F. Kennedy, his wife Jackie was the stoic, bereaved widow, emotionally in control, not revealing messy, disturbing, unpleasant emotions. For an entire generation, Jacqueline Kennedy was the cultural model of how to deal with death and grief.
Sheryl Sandberg, the CFO of Facebook, after dealing with the sudden death of her 47-year-old husband, authored a book called Option B – Facing Adversity, Building Resilience and Finding Joy in Life. In speaking about her work creating support groups for people going through loss, she claims that talking openly about death and being public about our feelings of grief and loss are culturally radical in this society. And in that sense, Judaism’s approach to death, in contrast to that of our contemporary society, is culturally radical, as is the Jewish practice of saying a communal Yizkor prayer service to remember the dead, prescribed to be done four times a year.
In reciting Yizkor prayers publicly, we recognize that we are a community of bereaved. We stand up and are seen mourning for parents, siblings, spouses and sadly for some, mourning the death of a child. In saying Yizkor we acknowledge we experienced the reality of death and loss and are not hiding from that truth. We gather with others in community to honor the memory of those who have died, to console one another, and to assuage our hurting heart. And even more, by saying Yizkor we align and enter in conversation with souls of loved ones who have died and are in the world beyond — the realm the medieval Kabbalist Nahmanides called Olam HaNeshamot, the World of Souls.
For Judaism, dealing with death in an open-hearted and compassionate way is normative; only against the background of our society is it culturally radical. As Jews living within the mainstream North American culture, many of us have lost touch with this inherent traditional Jewish wisdom which remembers the reality of death and loss in open, realistic ways.
Examining the spectrum of contemporary Jewish death practices, we see how a realistic view of death is inherent to Jewish life and culture. Take for a starting example the Jewish funeral — what is the crescendo ritual moment of Jewish burial? Nothing says death is realistic more clearly than the echoing sound of earth shoveled upon the casket by immediate family members. In that startling moment we know death is real, and one can imagine seeing every clump of earth that had ever hit the coffin of every Jewish person ever buried.
In the month of Elul, prior to the Jewish New Year, Rosh Hashanah, it is traditional to visit the graves of loved ones. As a New Year approaches, we acknowledge the reality of death going to the cemetery as if to give our loved ones an end-of -ear report, and to ask for their blessings for the New Year.
Similarly, consider the practice of Yizkor, memorial prayers said in synagogue four times a year—when? At Yom Kippur: it makes sense to remember the dead on a day we chant the Unetaneh Tokef prayer speaking of “who shall live and who shall die” and asking to be inscribed for another year in the Book of Life. We also say Yizkor on the final days of the three pilgrimage festivals of Sukkot, Pesach and Shavuot. In the time of celebration of our joyous holy days, z’man simchateinu, we acknowledge the reality that our loved ones are no longer with us, and recite Yizkor to remember and honor them. Life and death, celebration and mourning are interwoven.
And the Jewish recitation of Kaddish Yatom, the Mourners’ Kaddish: where does this act of ritual mourning take place? Not in private but in a communal context. Recitation of Mourners Kaddish is a public act, one stands and is seen as one who experienced a loss. We do not deny, hide or sanitize the reality that death has affected, or is affecting our life.
Similarly, shiva — seven days of public mourning after the death of a family member — is likewise a communal ritual practice. Shiva is not simply a well-catered event where people engage in small talk or banalities filling the uncomfortable silence. It is a collective mourning ritual, a public opportunity to comfort mourners, to remember the person who has died, and to help send the soul of the deceased on its post-mortem journey.
Walking into a synagogue, we see another public declaration honoring the reality of death. In both contemporary and older synagogue buildings one of the first things we encounter upon entering are the yahrzeit plaques, the memorial board telling us of the generations of those who have lived and died.
Even more, the way Judaism approaches the reality of death in the midst of life can be found in our wedding traditions. Prior to the wedding, it is traditional for a bride and groom to go to the cemetery to visit the graves of loved ones. Before my own wedding I went with my father to the graves of his father and mother, my grandparents whom I had known. But we also trekked through the distant rows of an old cemetery in Montreal, Canada to find the graves of his four grandparents. It was a profoundly meaningful moment for me, feeling the connection with the ancestral generations I had never known as I prepared for entering a new chapter of my own life.
It is also taught that present under the huppah with the bride and groom are all their ancestors and descendants. When I prepare a couple for marriage, I ask who among their ancestors that died do they want to remember under the huppah. This is the Jewish way; just as we break a glass at the end of the wedding in reminder of the destruction of the Jerusalem Temple, even in times of joy we honor the generations that have passed before us.
And finally, just as it is traditional to wear a white linen garment — a kittel — on Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur and at the Passover Seder, it is also worn by a groom at the time of wedding. And although many are unfamiliar with this practice, the deceased Jewish man, traditionally, is robed in that same kittel at the time of burial.
In so many ways for Judaism life and death are interwoven into the very fabric of the universe. We don’t deny death because we don’t deny life; we affirm that life and death are sacred dimensions of human existence. That is the deeper Jewish mystery underlying our act of saying Yizkor on Yom Kippur this year.
We also see this idea of the interweaving of life and death in Torah. In Genesis 27 we read:
And it came to pass, when Isaac was old, and his eyes were dim, so that he could not see, he called Esau his eldest son, and said to him, My son; and he said to him, Behold, here I am. And he said, Behold now, I am have grown old, and do not know the day of my death; (Gen. 27:1-2)
At first when we look at what Isaac has to say, it makes perfect sense. Isaac, having become blind, is clearly aware of his aging and his vulnerability. On the surface there is nothing problematic or remarkable about this passage. As in the story of Reb Simcha Bunam, often we hear words of wisdom on the deathbed. But what is strange about this Biblical verse is that when we follow the narrative of the Torah about Isaac, we discover that he does not die for many years. As subsequent chapters of Genesis unfold, we read about the continuing story of Isaac’s sons Jacob and Esau, and eventually about his beloved wife Rachel’s death and burial on the road to Bethlehem; and only at the end of Genesis 35 does Torah inform us of Isaac’s death:
And Jacob came to Isaac his father to Mamre, to the city of Arba, which is Hebron, where Abraham and Isaac sojourned. And the days of Isaac were a hundred and eighty years. And Isaac died, and was gathered to his people, being old and full of days; and his sons Esau and Jacob buried him.
(Gen. 35:27-29)
Isaac says “I am old, I don’t know the day of my death” — and then he lives on for quite a while. According to the Midrash, at least another twenty-five years! So, what do we learn from Isaac’s declaration of the uncertainty of the timing of his impending death? We see that Isaac accepts the inevitability of his own death, and then proceeds to do what he had to do to live his life fully. This is what we learn from Isaac and this is the message we want to take with us as we prepare for Yizkor this year. While Judaism accepts death as a realistic part of life, and provides opportunities to mourn our losses, there is no glorification of death. Even in accepting the reality of death with integrity, the imperative of all this is to live fully, to live a life of holiness and meaning.
So this year, on Yom Kippur, when we face our human mortality so clearly in our liturgy, as we read about “who shall live and who shall die” we are reminded by Reb Simcha Bunam, by our ancestor Isaac and by the legacy of Jewish tradition that our task is to honor the reality of death AND to live our lives fully.
As we prepare to say Yizkor this year, think about the loved ones for whom you are saying Yizkor. What is their legacy to you? What did you learn from them about how to live life fully? What are the gifts of spirit that they have bequeathed to you? Saying Yizkor gifts us with opportunity to harvest wisdom of generations past.
To conclude: I recently heard a country music song that embodies the same teaching expressed in the story of Reb Simcha Bunam.
In the song Live Like You Are Dying by Tim McGraw, he sings of his father’s wrestling with a terminal medical diagnosis, and he and his father entered into dialog which (in an edited version) came out like this:
“When it sank inThat this might really be the real endHow’s it hit youWhen you get that kind of news?Man, what’d you do?”
[And his father answered]
I went skydivingI went Rocky Mountain climbingI went 2.7 seconds on a bull named Fu Manchu“I was finally the husbandThat most of the time I wasn’tAnd I became a friend a friend would like to have
And I loved deeperAnd I spoke sweeterAnd I gave forgiveness I’d been denying”And I spoke sweeterAnd I watched an eagle as it was flying”And he said
“Someday I hope you get the chanceTo live like you were dyingTo live like you were dyingTo live like you were dying”
May we all live the fullness of our life with passion, conviction and integrity!
G’mar Hatimah Tovah. May we all be signed and sealed in the Book of Life.
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Parashat Nitzavlmפרשת נצביםדבריםDeuteronomy29:9 to30:20Although Nitzavim is one of the shortest of ail the parashot, it has a very powerful message as we will see. Nitzavim is read with the following parashah, Vayelech when either Rosh Hashanah or Yom Kippur occur on Shabbat. When neither occur on Shabbat, they are read on separate shabatot. Nitzavim is always read on the shabbat preceding Rosh Hashanah.
Moses continues to address the people on the last day of his life.
Chapter 29, Verses 9 through 14 – All the people are summonedThe theme of inclusiveness in this pact. All are standing (or perhaps a more correct translation of נצבים is summoned to be present, that is, nobody is exempt) before G-d, from the highest (tribal heads and elders) to those occupying the most menial rungs of society (woodcutters and water drawers – מחטב עציך עד שאב מימיך). Children and wives (in that order), and even “the stranger living among us”) גרך אשר בקרב מחניך) are also included. In most references in the Torah, women are not addressed, or at most their possible inclusion may be implied or is left ambiguous.
A post-Talmudic interpretation is that this covenant is inclusive of not only those present this day, but also those not with them, those yet unborn. Is this a reference to future generations of Jews and future converts (most prevalent interpretation), or merely those not in attendance for whatever reason? The covenant is entered into with the understanding of the severe sanctions if, or rather when, the people stray.
Under this interpretation, future generations, although they were not present and did not willingly accept the covenant, are nonetheless bound to it. Is that just or fair? Is the Torah even about “fair”?
Verses 15 through 27 – Dire warning of consequencesDire warning: whoever adapts the forbidden customs of the surrounding lands and worships their gods, all the terrible sanctions noted in this book (Deuteronomy) will befall on the people.
Rabbis of the Talmud attributed this prophecy to the conquest of the Northern Kingdom by the Assyrians and the subsequent exile of the ten tribes.
Verse 28 – Concealed verses overt actsThe Rabbis interpreted “concealed acts” (הנסתרת) as sins that are made by individuals in private and are not known to the public or are made in ignorance, or even by the descendants of assimilated Jews that were not aware that these commandments were binding upon them. Moses here assures the people that as a group they will not be held accountable, as concealed acts or hidden sins are the province of G-d alone to judge.
Note eleven dots over the words “for us and for our children” (לנו ולבנינו). Meaning, if any, is not clear.
Chapter 30, Verses 1 through 10 – Redemption after exileMoses assures the people that even in the depths of (the inevitable) exile and despair, if they repent and correct the errors of their ways, the exiles will be ingathered and returned to the promised land, and life will be good again. This section may support the conjecture that these chapters may have been written during (or is a prophesy of) the Babylonian exile to explain to the people what brought on their present miseries, and that if they do not lose hope, and remain true to the teachings of the Torah, then redemption is just around the corner. And indeed, the Babylonian exile lasted “only” seventy years.
Verses 11 through 14 – Commandments are accessible to everyoneThis is an incredibly beautiful paragraph. These commandments are not in the heavens and are not beyond the sea (לא בשמים הוא … ולא מעבר לים). They are right here, accessible, and close at hand. Note that this section is quoted in the well-known Rabbinic debate in the Babylonian Talmud: “The Oven of Achnai”.
The Torah is neither exclusive nor secretive, accessible only to a chosen educated elite (the Priesthood) but belongs to all the people. In the ancient world, this concept of universal accessibility to the law was a situation almost unique to Judaism. The Cohanim Priests, while occupying a position of both privileges and responsibilities, did not have exclusive access to the Torah or to its teachings.
Scribes writing a new Torah or repairing an existing one are charged with neither omitting nor adding to it. While the Torah is fixed and inviolate in word and in form, its interpretation is adaptable to changing circumstances, assuring that it remains relevant in a changing world.
Verses 15 through 20 – The choice is now ours; destiny is in our handsMoses sets before Israel the choice: either keep the commandments and prosper, or stray from the correct path and pursue false gods which would lead inevitably to destruction and exile. The choice is now ours; our destiny is in our hands.
Parashat Vayelechפרשת וילךדברים Deuteronomy 31:1 to 31:30Vayelech is the shortest parashah in the Torah. Vayelech is read with the previous parashah, Nitzavim when either Rosh HaShanah or Yom Kippur occur on Shabbat. When neither occur on Shabbat, they are read on separate shabatot.
Chapter 31, Verses 1 through 8 – Moses passes the mantle to JoshuaMoses, now 120 years old, addresses Israel on the last day of his life. “I can no longer go out or come in” (לא אוכל עוד לצאת ולבוא). The Hebrew is somewhat cryptic. Does this mean that Moses is physically incapacitated, or (more probably) that he lost the ability to lead? At G-d’s command, he will not be joining them as they cross the Jordan to enter the promised land. He assures the people that G-d will be in their lead and they will have a successful conquest. He passes the mantle of leadership to Joshua, commanding him to be strong and resolute (חזק ואמץ).
Verses 9 through 13 – Moses writes down the torah and presents to the peopleMoses wrote down the Torah and presented it to the priests, the Levites, and the elders, that is, to both the religious and the civil leaders. Rabbinic commentators are divided as to whether the intention is all five books of the Torah or only the book of Deuteronomy. They were instructed that every seventh year (שנת השמיטה), at the feast of Succoth, this teaching should be read aloud to all the people of Israel, as well as their descendants. Even the stranger or resident alien is included. Why the year of the shmitah? Perhaps because in a largely agrarian society, with the land uncultivated, people would have had the free time to engage in study. This may represent a first step towards universal education, at a time when it was usually only accessible to a privileged few.
Verses 14 through 21 – Moses summons Joshua, receives a sobering message from G-dMoses is called by G-d to bring Joshua to the Tent of Meeting so that he can be instructed by G-d. While the Torah proceeds to record G-d’s parting words to Moses, it does not record G-d’s instructions to Joshua.
Gd delivers to Moses a sobering pronouncement that after Moses passes from the scene, the people will certainly go astray and break the covenant and turn to other gods. They shall be abandoned from G-d (I will hide my countenance from them – והסתרתי פני מהם). As this is presented as a foregone conclusion, this may be a clue that this section was written during the Babylonian exile after these things came to pass or, alternatively, that it prophesies it. This raises a troubling theological question. If Israel’s misadventures are pre-ordained, then what is the place of free will or human responsibility for their actions?
Moses is instructed to write his words down as a poem, as a mnemonic device for them to remember. That way, when they face the consequences of their shortcomings, the poem will be witness to the fact that they were duly warned: “I told you so!”. Is this the ultimate guilt trip?
Verses 22 through 30 – Moses writes his parting words as a poem, presents to the peopleMoses recorded the poem and taught it to the people. He charged Joshua to be a strong and resolute leader. The Levites were commanded to place the teaching in the ark of the covenant to remain as a witness. An aged and bitter (or perhaps realistic/fatalistic) Moses tells them that once he is gone, things will go downhill from there. Moses will then recite the poem to all the people (tune in next week). m ,
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Editor’s Note: This essay is reprinted from the September 18, 2024 edition of the Jewish Community Voice of Southern New Jersey.
Martin Buber was fond of a story attributed to a Rabbi Hanoch, about a man who had a lot of trouble getting organized in life. So, one evening he decided to write down the articles of clothing he would need when he got up. The next morning, he sees the note for pants, and put them on; shirt and he put that on; cap and put that on, etc. Eventually, fully dressed, he stopped and remarked: “That’s all very well, but now where am I myself? Where in the world am I?”
As Buber wrote in his The Way of Man: “He looked and looked, but it was a vain search; he could not find himself.” As we prepare to greet the new year 5785, this story speaks volumes. Where are we? This question, which we meet in Genesis 3 and the question “ayekah,” really is at the heart of these 10 days of reflection and introspection. It is a question that takes on more meaning, and relevance, as we grow older.
We all are aware that these holidays will greet us filled with anxiety and concern. Between the war in Gaza, the emerging shifts in the American Jewish community and the impact of the election, there will be no shortage of issues that will confront us in prayer, meditation and no doubt, a few sermons. However, I want to use this space this year to try and focus on our growing and now multi-generational cohort of elders. Remember, as of the 2020 Pew study of American Jews, half of our total population is over 50 years of age. This revolution in longevity is helping fuel the changes in our community. We are living longer and, in many cases, better than any previous cohort of elders. We are very concerned about health and wellness and are more active than any previous generation. The challenge may be to look at the difference between “growing” older and “getting” older. Let me suggest that these holidays offer us a sacred invitation to “grow;” to grow in the sense of seeing life as a sacred gift, as every day an opportunity to embrace life and the call of the mitzvah.
One of the tensions we face as we age is that of acceptance and surrender. For many of us, as we grow older, we face the challenge of accepting new realities, changes in our bodies, relationships, work and family. Some of these changes we initiate; others are dealt to us. How we choose to deal with the realities determines who we are and how we grow. Berit Lewis, who writes on aging issues, wrote in a recent article about this tension: “If you can approach your increasing age with awareness, acceptance and affection, you will better be able to adapt and flow with the changes of life. Accepting the things you cannot change is not straightforward, but you can learn to master this acceptance over time–at least to some extent.”
One of the hidden treasures of the holidays is that it is type of cosmic invitation to each of us. We are being invited to sit with our own soul for 10 days, to get off the material merry-go-round and to begin to ask some very basic questions about our life, our hopes and dreams, and how we wish to grow. We will all “get” older, but how many of us will “grow” older? It is a time to look at our soul in a spiritual mirror and ask ourself, given that we cannot know the length of our life, what is it in this coming year that I wish to do? This may require you to take a chance, to risk a change, and that is always a challenge, especially as we grow older. But, we have but one life, and so that Hasidic story really does ring true. Can we use the invitation of these days to find out who we really are?
This shall be a very powerful and challenging year. So, a final blessing for us taken from the new collection of poems and meditations by Alden Solovy called “Enter These Gates.” It is a blessing for all of us at this time of year. It is called “Pervasive Peace.”
“May it be Your will, God of our fathers and mothers, that the year ahead brings a pervasive and complete peace on all the inhabitants of the earth, beyond all the dreams of humanity.”
Shannah Tovah!
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I get it! Finally.
“I am now one hundred and twenty years old …” That’s Moses, not me. He goes on, “I can no longer be active.” That’s almost me. I’m still fairly active for my four score and six years. And all those years ago, the week I was born, Va-Yeilekh was the Torah portion read and from it, Moses speaks to me now. At a retreat in the late 1980s, Rabbi Ted Falcon shared our birth portions. Since then, curious about my birth portion, I’ve dipped into it from time to time, but Moses’ words didn’t touch me. I’d quickly go on to something else. Today, his words hit home.
In Va-Yeilekh, Moses reminds the Israelites that God will not let him go across the Jordan into the ‘promised land’, that his leadership is at an end, and that Joshua will lead them into the land. He faces his limits and prepares for those who follow. Same for me.
Limits abound. I, who used to run for miles, find my breath coming hard after I climb the forty-three steps in our home. Tired more frequently, I’m doing smaller travels to friends and family but hesitating on the bigger trips. Experienced COVID at end of the last two overseas ventures. I delight in the flowers and fruits in the roof deck garden but put off carrying new potting mix up those stairs. I enjoy working with clients, almost always seeing changes in a good direction, but now, the end of the workday appears quite desirable.
Leadership has shifted. Seders in our home are smaller, Open Door Shabbat is no longer, and there are fewer folks to hang out with. Family gatherings happen mostly in our kids’ homes.
Then we read: “The Lord said to Moses” The time is drawing near for you to die.” Read in my fifties, so what! Now, at 86, that’s real!!! My finish line looms. Moses knew the exact day, I don’t. But it is near, and somehow, I find that very manageable. It heightens my sense of what’s important and makes difficult choices easier. We’ve purchased plots, informed kids, and recently visited the lawyer to update wills and powers of attorney. Preparing makes an easier transition for our kids.
OK, there’s got to be some good news in all this. Of course. Moses tells the Israelites, “Be strong and resolute, be not in fear or dread …” He repeats this twice and assures them that God will be with them, not forsaking them, not failing them. “Fear not and be not dismayed!” Good words to hear and even better words to sink into my heart when falls, hurts, and earth shakings happen.
Moses drops into details. Debts must be remitted in the seventh year. The Torah must be read to everyone every year – men, women, children and strangers. ‘Everyone’ is unusually inclusive for Torah. But then again, we all die. Nor will things go smoothly, for as God foresees, these stiff-necked Israelites are planning to sneak forbidden goodies, to do their own thing. I also find myself avoiding and dallying. Stiff-necked me.
Torah is smart. It responds to human fallibility, as God instructs Moses: “Therefore, write down this poem and teach it to the people of Israel; put it in their mouths …”. Transmit a map. Give people guidelines. Share what you have experienced. And I’ve been writing my life experiences, connecting them with world history, psychological development and spiritual growth. This writing has gifted me a perspective on my abilities and limits, regrets and gifts. Sharing it with my family is important. As with Moses, it’s my experiences, not theirs. At best, it’s a useful map.
“Gather to me all the elders of your tribes and your officials, that I may speak all these words to them . . ..” Caring and sharing are good traveling companions along our life journey. Over decades, my eyes have perused these very same words from my Torah birth portion. Yet, I was unable to see what you’ve just read – until now.
Torah quotes in order: Deuteronomy 31:2, 31:6 and 7, 31:8, 31:14, 31:10-13, 31:28.
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On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, poet and liturgist Alden Solovy discusses his latest book of poems, Enter These Gates: Meditations for the Days of Awe.
Summary of the conversation generated with artificial intelligenceIn this conversation, Alden Solovy discusses his new book, ‘Enter These Gates: Meditations for the Days of Awe.’ He talks about the inspiration behind the book, which was the October 7, 2023 Hamas assault on Israel and subsequent war. Alden shares some of his powerful poems and meditations from the book, including ‘Ela Azkara’ and ‘At the Gates.’ He also discusses the themes of history, memory, and mortality in his writings. The conversation concludes with a reading of Alden’s poem, ‘Walking Toward Sunset,’ which reflects on the journey of life and the acceptance of mortality.
About the BookEnter These Gates is a High Holy Day companion for our times, with more than one hundred new poems, prayers, and meditations for Rosh HaShanah and Yom Kippur.
Poet-liturgist Alden Solovy draws from his unique spirit to blend today’s struggles and joys with classic themes, layering a contemporary voice into beloved motifs. Enter These Gates is a vital resource for individual prayer, study, and communal worship. Themes include confession, repentance, forgiveness, and memory, as well as frailty, seeking holiness, and what Solovy calls “the ancient journey.” A companion to the machzor, Enter These Gates offers a fresh yet deeply rooted approach to heightening our experience of the Days of Awe.
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- Amazon Music About the Guest(Michele Chabin Photo)Alden SolovyAlden Solovy is a modern day piytan, a traveling poet/preacher/teacher who uses Torah and verse to engage and inspire.
Alden embodies the intersection of scholarship and heart. A new voice for ancient yearnings, his writings resonate with the soul and his presence is sought after in Jewish spiritual spaces around the world.
A liturgist, lyricist, and educator, Alden offers a fresh Jewish voice, challenging the boundaries between poetry, meditation, personal growth, and prayer. His writing was transformed by multiple tragedies, marked in 2009 by the sudden death of his wife from catastrophic brain injury.
Solovy’s teaching spans from Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion in Jerusalem to Limmud and Leo Baeck College in the UK, and synagogues throughout North America.
He is the author of four volumes from CCAR Press: These Words: Poetic Midrash on the Language of Torah (2023), This Grateful Heart: Psalms and Prayers for a New Day (2017), This Joyous Soul: A New Voice for Ancient Yearnings (2019), and This Precious Life: Encountering the Divine with Poetry and Prayer (2021).
The Jerusalem Post called his writing “soulful, meticulously crafted.” Huffington Post Religion said “…the prayers reflect age-old yearnings in modern-day situations.”
Solovy made Aliyah to Israel in 2012, where he hikes, writes, teaches, and learns. His work has appeared more than 25 collections, including Prophetic Voices: Renewing and Reimagining Haftorah (CCAR Press, 2023), Mishkan R’Fuah: Where Healing Resides (CCAR Press, 2012), L’chol Z’man v’Eit: For Sacred Moments (CCAR Press, 2015), Mishkan HaNefesh: Machzor for the Days of Awe (CCAR Press, 2015), and Gates of Shabbat, Revised Edition (CCAR Press, 2016).
He is a three-time winner of the Peter Lisagor Award for Exemplary Journalism. His writing appears on Ritualwell.org, ReformJudaism.org, Ravblog.ccar.org, TimesofIsrael.com and tobendlight.com. Alden is also the founder of ManKind Project Israel.
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As baby boomers who still envision our energy of our 18-year-old selves, (NOT!) who had the world and our future in front of us, with no limits on our accomplishments and dreams, and often being the first American-born generation in our family who will go to college and be the example of the American Dream, it’s not uncommon today to look in the mirror and question so much about the unfamiliar person staring back.
If you’re lucky, your high school graduation picture looks somewhat like the reflection in that mirror!
What does that image tell you about yourself and how you’ve lived your life? Did the bucket list get all checked off? Are you living somewhere you could never imagine you’d end up? Was your chosen profession the one that happened or did your journey take you down a different yellow-brick road?
Oh, how the years flew by while climbing the ladder to success and trying to keep up with the Jones, raising a family, making decisions that just weren’t about ourselves but our aging parents, college money for the kids, stay married/divorce, to down-size/move/stay put.
With many of those crucial life decisions behind us, there may be a realization that we can now concentrate on ourselves! Do exactly what we want or do nothing! What a concept! Easier said than done, right? Sometimes doing nothing is really hard. It sounds appealing to just sit with no TO-DO list, to read the classics you never had time for, to catch up on old movies, pride yourself on being an endless news junky.
But then the body muscles tell you that doing not much of anything hurts, makes you more tired, gives you an excuse not to take that walk you promised yourself, and while no one is looking grab that candy bar, piece of pie or the cheeseburger and fries the doctor said was a “NO-NO! And then you must deal with the consequences that were easier to deal with when you were 18!
And in this 21st century baby boomer life we lead, is introspection, pondering and contemplation part of what we do when we actually have less to do?
It’s not easy to feel unneeded by family or work and socially limited. It’s not easy to realize your calendar is filled with doctor appointments and not business appointments. Or your work life is behind you and earning money is not the demanding goal it once was, even though you are financially secure. Or, if you are not financially secure, it’s very difficult to accept financial help from the kids or other family members.
When do all the regrets of the past stop and we can emotionally reconcile with what wasn’t and just live with what is, be carefree and lounge with no guilt? Okay, we know that answer and it’s the worst alternative!
And truly, I have no answers to these questions. But that doesn’t stop them from creeping into my brain!
I’m confronted with many of these considerations because I recently had the opportunity to accompany my daughter to the University of Oregon, in Eugene, to move my granddaughter, now a senior, — Oy Vey! how the years fly by! — into her final college accommodations. She’s lived in a dorm, apartment and two rental houses! All pretty cool abodes! Nothing like the digs we lived in during our college days!
The dorm and apartment complex offered large lounges for Wi-Fi stations for homework, roof-top swimming pools, work-out gyms, very modern décor, full-on kitchens, washer-dryers, all the comforts of home and more! The two 1950s style houses are old-fashioned, needing up-dating but with front and backyards, clean and in nice neighborhoods, and able to accommodate three students who liked to entertain, cook and took pride in their decorating.
My granddaughter has had the same roommates all four years, lovely, ambitious, Jewish young women from great families. How lucky is she?
So, what struck me during my visit with these 21-year-olds and several of their guy friends, was the way these Gen Zs (born in the later 1990s-2010) approached life, their college experience, the world and how they fit into it, and their takeaways of the older generations.
Let’s make a fact clear that has always fascinated me: Gen Ys (born in the 1980-1996) and Gen Zs generally don’t date like baby boomers dated! Ask any female baby boomer and it was a dream to have a boyfriend, “To go steady,” wear his Letterman’s jacket, have a date every Saturday night with him and have a great outfit for that date, and NEVER be without a date for the Homecoming Dance, Christmas Dance and MOST importantly THE PROM!! (I didn’t have that date for my senior Prom, so I got on a plane to visit relatives in San Francisco to hide my sadness.)
These kids, during middle school, high school and college, just HANG OUT in small or large groups. In fact, many of the ones I spoke with had no idea the significance of “Homecoming!” To them it was just a football game where a King and Queen were crowned! They didn’t know that Home Coming was for the school’s alumni to come back for the football game, to visit old teachers, to catch-up with old friends and reminisce about the “Old days!” I learned this when my granddaughter was on the decorating committee for Homecoming in high school, and she had no clue what I was talking about!
I was the one who rolled my eyes!
And today, even if they are a couple, there’s no “formal ask” for a Saturday night date! It’s just a, “Hey, let’s hang out Saturday,” initiated by any member of the group! Sometimes there are specific plans and sometimes there aren’t.
I don’t know a baby boomer girl who didn’t sit by the phone until Thursday night waiting for THAT special ring for the Saturday night date! And if the guy asked you at school on Friday or called Friday night for a Saturday date, well! NO WAY! That just meant that someone else turned him down and there was NO WAY you were going to be a “Left-over desperate date!” So humiliating! Sitting home and crying was far better!
The general opinion I got from Gen Ys and Zs is that all this 1960s dating stuff and formality was just plain stupid! For the dances, friends might ask each other to go together WITH the group in limos — yeah! Remember our limos? NOT! — and I believe if you had this “Informal ask” by a guy or girl, it really meant you would be guaranteed a corsage or boutonniere! (A girl without a corsage made a statement.) And if you were going with just a group of girls, your parents might buy you a corsage! It seems the guys didn’t care so much about a carnation in their lapel!
And ready for this? Girls danced with girls, groups danced together, again, no formality, no sitting on the sidelines waiting for someone to ask you to the dance floor! If you want to dance, just go out there and join the gang, no judgements made!
Basically, Gen Ys and Zs socializing revolves around very casual get-togethers like Taco-Tuesday, sporting events, game nights, in a casual atmosphere, nothing fancy, no special clothing required, where everyone can just be themselves without trying to impress anyone. And if two people find a mutual attraction, it would just be an organic process to “Be together,” no boyfriend/girlfriend terms attached!
With no surprise, the biggest transformation from Gen Y and Z and baby boomers and Gen X (1965-1980) is the creation of advanced technology. And we thought we were cool if we were the first on our block to have a color TV!
OMG! (oh-my-G-d) LOL! (laugh-out-loud), how naïve was our childhood? In our wildest vision, Twilight Zone was as far as our imaginations could take us, and in some instances, those Rod Serling (nice Jewish boy) concepts were too scary to consider as anything but fantasy!
Could you ever imagine while growing up that libraries for reference purposes would one day be obsolete, that you could write notes and letters via a handheld telephone that you didn’t have to insert a coin into or pick up the receiver, that you never had to walk into a bank, a department store or grocery store ever again, while goods showed up at your front door and you didn’t have to write a check or pay with cash?
How did you feel after seeing 2001: A Space Odyssey? Did you ever imagine that a computer would fly planes, drive our cars, and Artificial Intelligence would tell us how to make the best-ever banana bread or diagnose our stomach pains? I think not, unless you went to MIT, Stanford or Caltech and studied futuristic technology! For us lay-people, it’s still ALL out-of-this-world unreal! I remember once asking my Bubbe, “What was the greatest invention during your lifetime?” and she simply said, “Airplanes.” And then we went to the moon and then two astronauts got stranded in space longer than they expected and no one is worried!
BUT, and my point in all these observations and words, is that Gen Y and Z take all this for granted! They look at us with rolling eyeballs when we express our incredulous amazement at the advancement in our world, while continually explaining to us how to maneuver the TV remote, let alone put new batteries in it! Any five-year-old can fix or teach you about your iPhone! All I have to do is call my son and say, “RAAAAAANDY…” and he immediately says, “Ok, Mom, what’s not working, the computer, your phone or the TV?” Yap! He’s got my number!
(Tip: If the TV goes dark, unplug the big black plug from the wall, count to 10, plug it back in and wait for it to REBOOT! Bingo! You don’t have to call Xfinity! And if your computer goes blank, same thing, unplug the plug from the back of it, wait, plug it back in, another REBOOT and bingo! AND if your phone is doing funky stuff: Shut it down for five minutes! Even electronics need a rest! But as baby boomers, WE CAN ride the wave and leave the frustration behind! Just ask any five-year-old if you need more assistance!)
About fifteen years ago my brother called me from Hawaii while he and his son were on jet skis in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. I looked at me 10-year-old grandson and said, “Can you imagine that Uncle Neal called us while skiing in the middle of the ocean?” And he looked at me and said, “So?” That’s when I knew I was in trouble, and old!
What we find AMAZING, younger people find NATURAL, A GIVEN, LIFE!
I guess what disturbs me is that they take these worldly advancements for granted without thought of how it all got here and what life was like when you had a party-line, had to get off the couch to change the TV station, had to check out books to do a research paper, and wait for the morning paper to be delivered to find out yesterday’s news!
BUT as a proud Grandmother of Gen Ys, here’s what I congratulate Gen Y and Z for:
-Because of the instant technology, they are more aware than we were
-Because of Facebook, Instagram, TikTok etc. they can share and organize information much quicker, they can be advocates for specific causes by amplifying their passions, via digital characters they can separate political issues into meaningful dialogue
-Though they have a variety of opinions, social and economic justice for all is a prevalent thread
-They see climate change as a forefront global issue and promote awareness for environmental threats
-Gun control is a must
-They scream for free speech as a cornerstone of the Constitution, believe in peaceful marches without violence while using digital tools to carry their messages
-They are champions of authenticity in public figures and movements and want absolute transparency
-Their generation has increased in voting numbers as the political issues have become more volatile, while progressive topics and challenges push them to enact social change
-Though money is an absolute need, it is not the driving factor for success: Accomplishment, self-respect and being one’s authentic self is the motivator
And they are not laid back as some may think. They take their studies seriously, work jobs while in high school and college, seek internships during the summer, tend to eat much healthier than we did as college students and regard friends as family members.
As Jewish baby boomers, we can be very proud of how our Jewish students are engaging in Jewish activities on all campuses around the country. Hillel and Chabad are thriving and serve as centers for Jewish social, cultural and religious activities. There are over 550 Hillel campuses in North America and worldwide and 260 Chabad’s around the world. Coming together for Shabbat and Passover dinners and Holiday Services offers a vital role to students when away from home while creating a campus Jewish community and lifelong friendships. Opinions were expressed that without the Jewish connection in college, there would be a sense of loss from their roots and upbringing.
I love being with young people, I learn so much from them. They widen my perspectives, show me there is more than one way to do things, and most importantly, they give me a sense of TIKVAH (hope) in a world of trying to understand a new normal. They bring a fresh outlook to what often feels bleak and a conviction and passion that they have the resources and power to right the wrongs.
They have the same aspirations we had, which reminds me, “There is nothing new under the sun!” — Just new faces and tools to go out and conquer the world!
So, while we baby boomers adjust to the new world, deal with aches and pains, political upheaval, let’s take pride in our young adults and stop kvetching for all the wrongs we can’t control and kvell for the generations that will carry on our hopes and dreams that all ages want, because, in spite of all that is new and old, good and bad, strange and familiar, we all want to smile while we still have teeth!
To the Gen Zs and Ys, who offered their honest opinions: Love you and thank you for your time and:
May G-d bless you and protect you
May G-d show you favor and be gracious unto you
May G-d show you kindness and grant you peace
And may you continue to be your 21st Century authentic selves…
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On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Rabbi Jill Maderer and Rabbi Jack Paskoff reflect on the meaning of the High Holidays this year in the wake of the October 7 Hamas massacre of 1,200 Israelis and as antisemitism surges in the United States and around the world.
Summary of the conversation generated with AIThe conversation focuses on the upcoming High Holidays and the challenges and unique aspects of preparing for them. The two rabbis discuss their personal preparations and the spiritual significance of this time of year. They also address the complexities of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict and the need for open dialogue and understanding. The conversation touches on the importance of joy and connection during the holidays, as well as the impact of the pandemic on synagogue attendance and the opportunities it presents for reaching a wider audience. The rabbis express their hopes for the coming year, including peace, connection, and understanding.
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You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions.
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- Amazon Music About the GuestsRabbi Jill MadererJill L. Maderer is the Senior Rabbi at Congregation Rodeph Shalom, where she has served since her ordination from Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion, NY in 2001.
Rabbi Maderer currently serves on the Board of the Interfaith Philadelphia; in the past she has served as: president of the Board of Rabbis of Greater Philadelphia, chairperson of the Center City Kehillah, a member of the Religious Leaders Council (multi-faith) of Greater Philadelphia, as a Mussar Institute instructor training Reform rabbis, as faculty at URJ Camp Harlam, and she has served on the Central Conference of American Rabbis’ Task Force for Experience of Women in the Rabbinate.
Rabbi Jack PaskoffJack Paskoff is in his 32nd year as the rabbi of Congregation Shaarai Shomayim in Lancaster, PA. During that time, the congregation has grown in significant ways in terms of membership, childhood and adult learning, and social justice work.
To many, Lancaster seems an unlikely place for meaningful Jewish life, but this community of 330 families has made its presence known throughout Pennsylvania and throughout the Reform movement. Jack often addresses social justice issues in his congregation, and, through his various community activities, has become a voice of Tikkun Olam throughout Lancaster County having participated in and launched projects related to homeless, poverty, reproductive rights, LGBTQ+ rights, and immigrant resettlement. He regularly speaks about this work in a column in the local newspaper and through numerous speaking engagements.
Jack is very involved in Reform Judaism’s youth and camping programs. A number of graduates of the congregation have gone on to active involvement in Jewish life.
Jack has been married to Risa for 38 years. He is the father of Ari (married to Danielle) and Gadi, and recently became the proud Saba of Seth.
Jack is a native New Yorker, graduating from Brandeis University, before being ordained at the Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion. Prior to arriving in Lancaster, Jack was the associate rabbi at the Anshe Emeth Memorial Temple in New Brunswick, NJ.
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Parashat Ki Tetze
פרשת כי תצא
דברים
Deuteronomy 21:10 to 25:19By Maimonides’ count, this week’s parashah contains 72 of the 613 commandments in the Torah. Other Rabbinic sources count 74 commandments in this section.
Chapter 21, Verses 10 through 14 – Fate of women captives in battleThe parashah begins on a somewhat troubling note. “When (not If) you go to war …” (כי תצא למלחמה). Is the Torah implying the inevitability of conflicts?
We have here an attempt to ameliorate the behavior of a Hebrew soldier who captures an attractive enemy woman. Some Rabbinic commentators claim (unsupported by the text) that he is permitted to rape the unfortunate woman once (and only once!) after the battle, apparently caught up in the heat of the moment. Other rabbis ruled that he is absolutely forbidden to rape her. In either case, he must wait a full thirty days before he must either wed her or release her (note that she has no say in the matter).
The thirty-day waiting period gives his passions a chance to cool down and for him to think rationally and the unfortunate woman is given the opportunity to grieve for her lost (probably slaughtered) family. The Torah deals with behavior in the real world, as it existed in that ancient period, and not a fictionalized utopia. At the time (as in our time!) warfare cannot be eliminated, but here is an attempt to at least ameliorate one of its basest and cruelest consequences. The modern reader is left troubled reading this section. If the warrior decides after the cooling off period that he does not really desire her, while he cannot sell her, he is not required to offer her any compensation. If simply released, or rather kicked out, she probably has nowhere to go. Her tribe, her family, have most probably been annihilated. What are her chances for survival? Perhaps her only realistic chance to survive would be prostitution or to sell herself into slavery.
Verses 15 through 17 – A man with two wives; willing of propertyA man with two wives would by nature favor one of them, as we have seen with Jacob, wedded to the loved Rachel and unloved Leah. a firstborn’s share of his inheritance even if he is the son of the less favored wife. In that case, a husband cannot withhold a firstborn’s share of his inheritance even if he is the son of the less favored wife.
For that reason, the eleventh century Ashkenazi Rabbi Gershom declared a ban on polygamy – חרם דרבנו גרשום, a nonbinding ruling that over time would be observed almost universally by all Jews, except for the geographically isolated Yemenites.
Verses 18 through 21 – Dealing with a wayward sonHarsh treatment of a wayward and disobedient son (בן סורר ומורה). This paragraph must be understood in the context of the time. Under most laws and conventions of this period, the father had complete authority over the members of his household, including the power of life or death. By requiring the father to bring the troubling kid to the elders of the town for judgment, this gives him a cooling-off period before he acts in a way that he would most likely soon regret. Also, the elders can reason with him. The Rabbis of the Talmud put so many restrictions on this clause that it became virtually impossible to carry out such a sentence. Indeed, the Talmud states that such a terrible sentence was never carried out and never will be.
Verses 22 and 23 – Practice for hanging a condemned manAfter execution, if a man is hanged from a tree or gallows (hanging was to be only after death by either stoning or either pushed from a cliff or off a roof), his body cannot remain exposed overnight but must be buried the same day. This is in sharp contrast to the Roman practice of leaving the crucified body (including you know who) on display for an extended period as a warning and deterrence.
Chapter 22, Verses 1 through 22 – More rules for proper behaviorWe have here an eclectic mixture of rules for proper behavior for various and sundry circumstances. Note verses 6 and 7: “If you come upon a bird’s nest with a mother nursing her fledgling or siting on her eggs, let the mother go before taking the young or collecting the eggs. By this you may fare well and have a long life.” The Talmud deals with a Rabbi Elisha Ben Abuyah (second century CE) who witnessed a child shooing the mother bird before taking the eggs in the nest, and tragically, the child lost his balance and fell to his death. Rabbi Ben Abuyah, upon witnessing this, lost his faith, proclaiming “There is no judgment and no Judge (אין דין ואין דיין) and he actively turned against Torah observant Jews. From then on, his former colleagues spurned him, and refused to call him by name, referring to him as “The other” – האחר). Was the promise of long life for showing mercy to the mother bird meant to be taken literally?
Verse 9 has a prohibition against sowing a vineyard with two or more types of seed. This possibly contradicts modern concepts of crop rotation.
Verse 11 is a repeat of a law in Leviticus. Mixing wool (צמר) and linen (פשתים) is shatnez (שעטנז – linguistic origin of the word is uncertain) and is forbidden to the common people but required for the priestly garments.
Verses 13 through 29 – Marriage contracts; matters of rapeThis law deals with marriage contracts, including disputes regarding falsely claimed virginity of a bride. Note that there is no such requirement for the groom (boys will be boys). Also, the interests of the bride’s father and of the husband are of concern, but not the well-being of the bride.
If a man lies with a married woman, they both are to be put to death. What if this is against her will? The Torah is silent here. Also, what about a married man lying with an unmarried woman. Here too, the Torah is silent.
Note the troubling language of verses 28 and 29. In effect, if a man rapes an unmarried virgin, he pays the girl’s father fifty shekels and must marry her. No punishment is implied, and the girl’s desires and well-being are not to be a consideration. In effect, she is treated like property. One rationalization would be that although the unfortunate incident is not her fault, she is now “damaged goods” and it would be difficult if not impossible for the family to find her a husband. As for the rapist, “you broke it, you bought it” appears to be the guiding principle. This is appalling to our 21st-century sensibilities. I suppose it can be argued that the thought that if he raped a woman, he would be saddled with her for good may act somewhat as a deterrent. Similar laws and practices are not so far removed from the situation today in traditional Middle Eastern Societies. Erdogan, in his ongoing campaign to drag Turkey back into the Dark Ages actually had tried to enshrine this into law! There is also the appalling practice of quasi-legal “Honor Killings” prevalent in Jordanian and Palestinian societies.
Chapter 23, Verses 1 through 26 – Still more rulesAnother eclectic mix of laws and rules.
Verse 2 – A man with crushed testicles is not to be admitted as a member of G-d’s congregation (קהל ה’). This command is probably meant to eliminate the practice of self-mutilation and castration as was prevalent among many of the surrounding peoples. Maimonides ruled that if the condition was due to illness or birth defect, this ruling does not apply.
Verse 3 – The problem of momzerim – ממזרים (due to a forbidden union such as incest or marriage between a divorcee and a Cohen) still burdens and confounds orthodox circles and Israeli society today. The offspring of a forbidden unit, or momzerim, cannot marry into Israelite society, only to other momzerim.
Verse 4 – We are commanded never to accept Moabites or Ammonites into our congregation since they were inhospitable to us during our journey out of Egypt. The Torah prescribes indifference, not hostility. Ruth (considered the first convert – “Your people shall be my people, your G-d shall be my G-d”) was a Moabite. This seemingly contravenes this prohibition. Possibly, Ruth had a “legal loophole” of sorts around this prohibition. She was able to enter the community by renouncing her Moabite heritage: “Your people shall be my people”. Another interpretation supposes that the ban applied to Moabite men, but not to Moabite women.
Verse 8 – Why are we commanded not to hate the Egyptians who enslaved us? Rashi comments that this is because Egypt hosted Joseph and his family in a time of dire need, even though it did not end well.
Verses 13 and 14 – This is a practical call for camp sanitation that only became standard military practice late in the 19th century.
Verse 20 contains a prohibition against charging interest to a countryman. Prohibition does not apply to foreigners. Note the institution of Hebrew Free Loan Societies in America. Some rabbis have ruled that the prohibition applies only to loans to the needy, not commercial loans. Also, as in other instances where a clear Torah commandment is unworkable or even unthinkable as society develops, legal workarounds were devised to preserve the letter of the law if not always the spirit of the law.
Verses 25 and 26 give a traveler or wayfarer permission to eat of the fruit or grain in the fields but not to harvest or carry off with him.
Chapter 24, Verses 1 through 22 – Even more rulesVerses 1 to 4 prohibit a man from remarrying his divorced wife if she had since remarried somebody else and then divorced. It may possibly have been intended to prevent promiscuity among married couples and wife swapping.
Verse 16 dictates that parents should not be punished for their Children’s crimes, and likewise, children should not be punished for their parents’ crimes. This is a striking declaration of individual responsibility.
Verses 19 to 21 contain important teachings. When reaping the grain harvests, collecting the ripe olives, or grapes from the vines, do not revisit the fields. The remains shall be for the needy to gather.
Chapter 25, Verses 1 through 19 – Some more rulesVerses 5 through 10 describe the situation requiring a levirate marriage. The usual practice is that if the surviving brother refuses to marry his late brother’s widow, then both parties perform the (distasteful) chalitzah – חליצה ceremony as described in verse 9. Over time, the Rabbis ruled that Levirate marriages were forbidden, or at least highly discouraged. Still, in accordance with these Torah verses, the chalitzah ceremony must be performed, at least in orthodox communities, so the widow can remarry and get on with her life. If the brother refuses, for whatever reason (even to attempt extortion), the unfortunate widow is barred from remarrying.
Verses 11 and 12 – If two men get into an altercation and the wife of one interferes by grabbing the genitals of the other man, her hand is to be cut off. Later Rabbis ruled that the actual penalty for causing embarrassment is monetary compensation. The Hebrew text does not appear to support this interpretation.
Verse 17 entreats us to remember Amalek and what he did to us on our journey through Sinai.
After being entreated to remember Amalek, verse 19 entreats us that after subduing all our enemies, we are not to neglect wiping out Amalek. Possibly, this refers to destroying all physical artifacts linked to Amalek, such as monuments, temples, etc. The meaning may also be that we should not glorify Amalek but remember them only for their crimes.
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On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Rabbi Shmuly Yanklowitz discusses his latest book, 45 Great Philosophers and What They Mean for Judaism.
AI-Generated Summary of the ConversationRabbi Shmuly Yanklowitz discusses his book and the importance of engaging with diverse philosophical perspectives. He emphasizes the value of learning from other cultures and voices, and how Judaism has always been in dialogue with different philosophies throughout history. The conversation explores the concept of Jewish philosophy and its relationship with other philosophical traditions, such as Confucianism and existentialism. The role of women philosophers in Jewish thought is also highlighted. The discussion touches on the decline of intellectualism in contemporary American Jewish society and the need to revive the exploration of ideas and deep questions.
About the BookIn this new forty-five-chapter series, Rabbi Shmuly explores forty-five of the most influential philosophers throughout history and how Jewish ideas might engage with each of the philosophers and their philosophical projects. At times, Judaism may need to reject harmful, foreign ideas. Other times, Judaism may need to adapt, integrate, and expand. There are many other approaches we’ll see of how Jewish thought can engage with other philosophies as well. In this exciting new exploration, we learn about Jewish intellectual history and what it means for us today.
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- Amazon Music About the GuestRabbi Dr. Shmuly YanklowitzRabbi Dr. Shmuly Yanklowitz has twice been named one of America’s Top Rabbis by Newsweek and has been named by The Forward as one of the 50 most influential Jews and one of The Most Inspiring Rabbis in America.
Rabbi Yanklowitz is the author of nineteen books on Jewish ethics and his writings have appeared in outlets as diverse as the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, the Washington Post, the Guardian, and the Atlantic among many other secular and religious publications. He has served as speaker at the World Economic Forum in Davos, Switzerland and a Rothschild Fellow in Cambridge, UK.
Rav Shmuly received a Masters from Harvard University and his Doctorate from Columbia University. He serves as the President & Dean of Valley Beit Midrash (Jewish learning center), the Founder & President of Uri L’Tzedek (the Orthodox Social Justice movement), the Founder and CEO of Shamayim (Jewish animal advocacy), and the Founder and President of YATOM, (Jewish foster and adoption network). Rabbi Shmuly, his wife Shoshana, and their four children live in Scottsdale, Arizona. They are also foster parents.
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Shofetim
פרשת שפטים
דברים Deuteronomy 16:18 to 21:9Chapter 16, Verses 18 through 22 – Appointing judgesShofetim (שפטים) translates as judges.
Basic rules for setting up an orderly settled (perhaps semi-urbanized) society, including the appointment of trustworthy judges (שפטים) and law enforcement officers (שטרים) in all the settlements. The Hebrew words used translate as “at all your gates” (בכל שעריך). That is, they are accessible locally in each settlement, and they are located at the focal point of village life, not tucked away in a remote courthouse.
There is an injunction for impartiality and a caution not to take bribes, so as to assure fair judgment. Note the famous quote in verse 20: ” Justice Justice shall you pursue (צדק צדק תרדף)”. Why is “Justice” repeated? Unfortunately, the Hebrew of the Torah is written without any punctuation marks. If there were, possibly it would have been written “Justice. Justice shall you pursue”. Perhaps the intent is to first present justice as an ideal, and then that it must be pursued. The Hebrew תרדף suggests that a stronger term, perhaps relentless pursuit, is a better translation. A midrash (Devarim Rabbah) teaches that pursuit of justice is more important than prayers or even temple sacrifices.
The appointments of judges and magistrates are by the people in their localities, not by the king or priests. The Torah does not detail the methodologies to be used to seek out and appoint suitable judges, or whether there is a mechanism to remove judges that turn out to be lacking.
In verses 21 and 22, the people are ordered not to set up alternative worship spaces aside from the central (as yet unnamed) a l t e r ( to be designated by G-d at a future time).
Chapter 17, Verses 1 through 7 – Constraints on judgementVerse 1 instructs that an animal with a blemish (מום) must not be offered as a sacrifice. Perhaps the intention is that a sacrifice must be wholehearted, not begrudged as would be apparent if a lesser valued animal is sacrificed. An alternative interpretation is that an animal procured with ill-gotten gains is considered “blemished”.
On one hand, we have a call for vigilante justice in cases of blasphemy and apostasy (as in the previous parashah). On the other hand, here we have restraining requirements: the need for at least two witnesses, thorough inquiry, and also the stipulation that witnesses are to throw the first stones, followed by the rest of the community. Requiring the accusers to throw the first stones may serve as a deterrent against false or overzealous accusations. The blood of the accused is thus on the head of the accusers first, and then the entire community.
Verses 8 through 13 – Bringing a case to the High PriestA case, either civil or criminal in nature that is too complex to be handled at the local level is to be brought before the Priests (Cohanim) in Jerusalem (not mentioned by name) for judgment. It is not clear if it is mandatory that a case be presented to a local judge or priest before seeking a higher authority. Their decision is beyond appeal. Sort of a “Supreme Court”. In Second Temple times, this will evolve to be the seventy-one member Grand Sanhedrin.
Verses 14 through 20 – If you must appoint a kingNote: The Hebrew text seems to imply that appointment of a king is not obligatory. Most Rabbinic commentators are in agreement that the appointment of a king is probably not recommended, as G-d is the supreme king. However, if they really want a king in order to be like the other peoples, it is permitted, albeit, reluctantly. The medieval commentator Abravanel argued that a king is not necessary or even preferable, and that governance by a committee chosen for a limited period of time is preferable, In either event, the Torah lays down the rules if the people decide on having one (as they Inevitably will). Kingship is by appointment, not automatic inheritance (quite a novel concept in the ancient world!). True, Solomon was David’s son, but that did not end well. While deciding on a king is at Israel’s discretion, the selection is G-d’s, His choice to be made known through prophecy. From this passage, one gets the European concept of the “Divine Right of Kings” that was not seriously challenged until the eighteenth-century Enlightenment and the American and French revolutions.
Notice (verses 16 and 17) the implied rebuke o f the presumed excesses of King Solomon (who had quite an eye for the ladies and accumulated great wealth). The admonition not to be haughty (verse 20) may be a rebuke of the sense of entitlement and arrogance of King David. We are reminded of the cautionary message of the 19th century British politician Lord Acton: “Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely”. And indeed, the unified kingdom did not last long after the death of King Solomon.
Verse 18 decrees that the reigning monarch should always have a copy of the torah, as prepared by the Levite priests. Perhaps the intention of the Hebrew משנה התורה is the teaching, possibly the book of Deuteronomy, and not the entire Torah.
Chapter 18, Verses 1 through 8 – Duties and portions due the Levites and the PriestsFollowing the instructions regarding the appointment of, and conduct of a King, now comes the turn of the Levites. As previously noted, they have no land allotment, and subsist off of their portions of the animal and produce offerings. Each priest is entitled to pack up and move to the place of sacrifices if he so chooses, and is entitled to share in the duties and privileges.
Verses 9 through 14 – Stay away from the practices of the CananitesThe people are to abstain from the abhorrent practices of the inhabitants of Canaan, including witchcraft.
Verses 15 through 22 – How we can recognize a true prophetMoses promises that G-d will appoint another prophet to take the place of him. Who is that, and how will the people recognize him?
If a prophet’s prediction does not come true, that is the proof that he is a false prophet, worthy of divine retribution. This presents a conundrum. Under that definition, wasn’t Jonah a false prophet? Definition of the fulfillment of prophecy as proof of its veracity seems to contradict the role of prophets to deliver dire warnings to the people of the consequences if they do not change their ways. Under that definition, the success of a prophet is if his prophecy does not come to pass, that is, the people heeded his dire warnings. Is that sort of a “Catch 22” situation? Perhaps not. If the people heeded his words and change their ways, and as a result they averted the severe decree that he prophesied (such as the people of Nineveh in the story of Jonah), would he really be seen as a false prophet?
Chapter 19, Verses 1 through 13 – Cities of refugeCommand to establish three cities of refuge (chapter 4, verses 41 to 43 called for three cities west of the Jordan River and three east of the Jordan) for persons that unwittingly caused someone’s death, not for crimes of intent.
Note verses 8 and 9 – One orthodox interpretation of the command for three additional cities for “when G-d enlarges the territory” is that the land will be expanded in Messianic times so an additional three cities of refuge will be needed. Does this beg the question as to why cities of refuge would still be needed in Messianic times?
Refuge will not be granted for intentional homicide.
There is no historical or archeological evidence that such cities of refuge were ever established. The Book of Kings does refer to altars, in the presence of which an unintentional slayer would (perhaps) be granted refuge.
Verses 14 through 21 – More lawsCommand to respect property demarcations.
The requirement for at least two witnesses to ascertain guilt. Penalty for bearing false wit ness.
Lex Talionis: an eye for an eye – עין תחת עין (Talmudic interpretation is that intent is for monetary damages.)
Chapter 20, Verses 1 through 9 – Preparing the army; who is entitled to exemptionPreparing the army mentally and physically to go out for battle. Pragmatic reasons to discharge Individuals from military service. Note that conscientious objection is not one of them, nor does the Torah recognize being a full time yeshivah student as a valid excuse. Later Rabbis declared that these rules only applied t o an “optional war” (מלחמת רשות) and not to an “obligatory war” (מלחמת מצוה). For the later, even a bridegroom must be summoned from under his huppah. How do the majority of haredim in Israel reconcile this with their almost complete across the board refusal to do any form of national or military service?
Verses 10 thrugh 18 – Laying siege to a townBefore attacking or laying siege to a town, a call to surrender must be issued. If terms of surrender are accepted and the army enters peacefully, the inhabitants will be spared, subject to pay taxes and a level of servitude or slavery. Only if the terms of surrender are refused shall the Israelites engage in combat. That is, war is a last resort to resolve a conflict. However; warfare in this age, once engaged upon, was extremely brutal. No quarter was given. All enemy men were to be killed. Women and children, as well as loot, are the legitimate spoils of war, for the soldiers to enjoy (“Cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war” – Shakespeare, Julius Ceasar Act 3 Scene 1).
While the above apparently seeks to assure that the Israelites maintain at least a basic level of humanity in the conducting of war, the above refers to the outlaying towns. As for the Canaanite cities and towns, that is another story entirely. They are prescribed for utter elimination. Nobody was to be left alive, period, end of discussion. As we read in the Tanakh, this rule was not carried out in the conquest of Canaan and as a result, the Israelites were continuously coming under the influence of the forbidden practices and gods of the conquered peoples.
Verses 19 and 20 – Preventing needless destruction and desecrationInjunction to spare fruit giving trees. That is, prohibition of scorched earth policy. Other, non-fruit bearing trees may be felled if needed for constructing siege works, but wonton destruction was not permitted. The Rabbis later expanded this prohibition into a general o ne (בל תשחית), not restricted just to times of war. All needless desecration, destruction or waste of resources is to be avoided. For example, diverting a river or stream away from an enemy city was also not permitted.
Chapter 21, Verses 1 through 9 – An unsolved murder, and community responsibilityThis section deals with the case of an unsolved murder. The entire community nearest the incident must give repentance. A Rabbinic reason is that the townspeople should have been more caring and looking out for the welfare of either a resident or a stranger in their midst and thus possibly preventing the murder.
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On this week’s encore broadcast of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Elissa Strauss discusses her new book, When You Care: The Unexpected Magic of Caring for Others.
In this “urgent and necessary book” (Rebecca Traister, New York Times bestselling author), journalist Elissa Strauss explores the powerful role caring for others plays in our individual and communal lives, weaving together research and stories from parents and caregivers with a feminist bent.
Behind our current caregiving crisis, in which a broken system has left parents and caregivers exhausted, sits a fierce addiction to independence. But what would happen if we started to appreciate dependency, and the deep meaning of one person caring for another? If we start to care about care?
With a curiosity and desire to understand more fully one of humanity’s most profound and essential relationships, journalist Elissa Strauss she interrogates our societal obsession with going it alone and poses a challenge to let ourselves be transformed by the act of caregiving. When You Care weaves historical anecdotes and science with conversations with parents and caregivers to the young, old, disabled, ill, and more, revealing a rich array of insights about how care shapes us on the inside and the outside, for the better.
Care is a long-ignored force in our collective and political lives, as well as a deeply philosophical, spiritual, and psychologically potent experience. Moreso, an embrace of care by both women and men will lead to a more gender equitable future and help us reimagine what it means to be productive and live a meaningful life. “A deeply researched—and deeply felt—exploration of the beautiful truth about care: that we find, feed, and know ourselves through our relationships” (Judith Warner, New York Times bestselling author).
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions.
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- Amazon Music About the GuestElissa StraussElissa Strauss has been writing about the politics and culture of parenting and caregiving for over fifteen years. Her work is featured in publications such as the Atlantic, the New York Times, Glamour, ELLE, TheWeek.com, and more. Previously, she contributed to CNN.com and Slate, where her cultural criticism about motherhood was showcased on DoubleX. Her book, When You Care: The Unexpected Magic of Caring for Others, is available from Gallery Books.
In addition to writing, Strauss is involved in curation and cultural programming. She holds the position of associate director of LABA: A Laboratory for Jewish Culture, a global artist incubator program that draws inspiration from ancient Jewish texts to foster new cultural creations and dialogues. She is also the artistic director of the LABA hub in the Bay Area and serves as the senior curator for the 2024 California Jewish Open at the Contemporary Jewish Museum in San Francisco.
Strauss resides in Oakland, California, with her husband and their two sons.
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פרשת ראהדבריםDeuteronomy 11:26 to 16:17Moses continues his extended farewell exhortation to the Israelites prior to their entry into Canaan. He recalls the forty-year trek through Sinai, the misadventures, the presentation of the laws, and exhorts his listeners with promises of rewards and warnings of dire consequences. One wonders if Moses is deliberately stalling, perhaps hoping to delay his fate or even hoping for a reprieve. One modern commentator has equated his extensive oratory as the ancient equivalent of a filibuster.
Chapter 11, Verses 26 through 32 – The blessing and the curse“I present before you blessing and curse”. For discussion: Promise of rewards and punishments as a direct result/consequence of behavior. This is not “morality” in the true sense of the word (i.e., Do what is right simply because it is the right thing to do, regardless of any reward system).
Why the references to Mount Gerizim and to Mount Ebal (near present-day Nablus)? “… you shall pronounce the blessing at Mount Gerizim and the curse at Mount Ebal.” Mount Gerizim, and not Jerusalem remains the sacred site of the Samaritans to the present day.
Chapter 12, Verses 1 through 7 – Command to destroy pagan worship sitesCommand, clear and unambiguous, to destroy all the indigenous (i.e., pagan) worship sites, wherever they are, and to even eliminate their names. Very troubling to our modern sensitivities. Didn’t we universally condemn the Taliban in Afghanistan for destroying Buddhist statues? Later Rabbis inferred that Jews are even prohibited to refer to the gods of other cults by their proper names, but rather to use derogatory nicknames. For example, religious Jews would avoid referring to the Christian savior as Jesus (the Greek corruption of the name Joshua), preferring to use the term Yeshu (ישו).
Further, there is a prohibition against copying indigenous worshiping practices. In some quarters, even the intellectual study and Inquiry of their religions and practices were generally frowned upon if not expressly forbidden. This intellectual isolation is troubling to those of us who champion free inquiry. Even such a towering intellectual figure such as Rabbi Akiva warned that any Jew who reads the apocryphal texts (ספרים חיצונים) would lose his place in the world to come. In marked contrast, Maimonides studied secular subjects, including the writings of the Greek philosophers. He famously advised his students: “You should listen to the truth, whoever may have said it.” (Commentary on the Mishnah, Tractate Neziqin).
A central site for worship within the tribal territories (unnamed) will be designated by G-d for sacrificial offerings and tithing (for the Levites and for the needy). Note that there is no reference to Jerusalem, not here nor anywhere in the Torah. The reference to a central site may be a reaction to the alternative, and competing sacrificial sites that were primarily but not exclusively in the Northern Kingdom, such as Shiloh and Beit El.
Verses 8 through 31, Chapter 13, Verse 1 – Laws to follow free of foreign influenceVerse 8: “You shall not act as we do here, every man according to what appears proper in his eyes” (לא תעשון ככל אשר אנחנו עשים פה היום איש כל הישר בעיניו). Not clear if it refers to the fact that the people were misbehaving, or that, with the entry into the land and the establishment of a single (as yet unnamed location) sacrificial site, private alters and individual worship or sacrificial rites will not be acceptable.
While meat meant for sacrifice may be consumed anywhere, agricultural produce and firstborns of the flocks must be brought to the place designated by G-d. The prohibition against consuming blood is repeated several times.
Verses 29 to 31: Warning not to follow, or even inquire about indigenous religious practices. Perhaps the fact that such a dire warning was deemed necessary is evidence that forbidden cultic practices were relatively widespread. For discussion: Fear that knowledge would lead inevitably to imitate forbidden foreign practices. In order to establish and preserve the supremacy of the Judaic religion and practices (and the status of the Levites), even knowledge of other practices was to be suppressed.
Chapter 13, verse 1: This is the law, period, end of discussion! Do not embellish or detract from it. Need to keep the religion and its practices “pure”, without intrusion by gentile influences that would inevitably creep in. Does this fly in the face of the modern concept of free intellectual inquiry, “let the chips fall where they may”, with its inherent risks?
Verses 2 througsh 19 – Reject false prophetsA dire warning to reject false prophets that would induce you to worship foreign gods. Further, false prophecy is declared as a capital crime that must be dealt with harshly and without mercy. This severe injunction applies even to close friends or to kin. To a contemporary reader, this is a morally challenging call for vigilante justice. Further, if it becomes known that a town has followed foreign gods, that entire town should be put to the sword; even the cattle should not be spared, and the spoils should be destroyed. Perhaps the destruction of the cattle and the spoils is so there will not be a material incentive to falsely claim that a town is populated by heretics as an excuse to plunder it. Perhaps there was a concern that any remnants of the previous cult would be a draw to pilgrimage and worship.
Deuteronomy, in the time of King Josiah, possibly needed to counter creeping heathen influences brought on by the conquest of the Northern Kingdom. Also, the Torah offers scant guidelines for differentiating a true prophet from a false prophet. Of course, if a self declared “prophet” preaches to go against the word of the Torah, that would be taken as evidence that he is false.
Chapter 14, Verses 1 through 21 – Laws of kashrutThis chapter begins with Moses telling the people that they are the “children of the Lord” (להי בנים אתם). Self-mutilation (תתגדדו) when in mourning (possibly a common practice among the surrounding peoples) is forbidden to them. Here, shaving when in mourning is prohibited, a practice still observed by traditional Jews. Later, based on this section and Leviticus (chapter 19, verse 28), Rabbis interpreted the prohibition against self-mutilation to prohibit tattoos (כתבת קעקע) or body piercings. One interpretation is that self-mutilation sets the individual apart from society and that should be discouraged.
Beginning with verse 3 through verse 21 is a repeat of the basic laws of kashrut as laid down previously in Leviticus. In short, it is permitted to consume only animals that both chew their cud and have split hoofs. Last in the list of permitted animals is the zamer (זמר). While the rest of the list include mammals that are indigenous to the middle east, it is not known for certain what the zamer is. Some rabbinic authorities claim that it is the giraffe (While technically, the giraffe is kosher, it is unlikely that zamer means giraffe, as it is only native to southern Africa, and like the bison, would most definitely have been unknown to biblical and Talmudic era sources). Further, only fish that have fins and scales may be eaten. Shellfish are out. Only birds that are deemed “clean” (צפור טהרה – a term not defined), are permitted. A list of forbidden birds, apparently birds of prey, is given. Note that bats are included in this list of forbidden birds although we know that it is a mammal. “Winged, swarming things” are forbidden as are animals that died a natural death (i.e. not slaughtered).
No explanation is given for these prohibitions. There is no evidence to infer that these are due to health concerns. Quite possibly, they are intended to assure that the people of Israel are separate and distinct from, and live apart from the others.
In particular, note verse 21: “… You shall not boil a kid in its mother’s milk” (לא תבשל גדי בחלב אמו). – The same is also repeated twice in Exodus. Rabbis of the Talmud prohibited the eating of dairy and meat together to put a “fence” or safeguard around this prohibition. The Rabbis of the Talmud went even further by prohibiting eating dairy and poultry together to extend this “fence” around the law. Karaits reject this interpretation and the rabbinic prohibition, accepting only the literal prohibition to cook milk products and meat together (so if you are a Karait, it is still forbidden to consume a cheeseburger. Sorry, guys).
Verses 22 through 29 – TithingSetting aside a tenth of the yield of the fields and the firstborn of the herds to be brought to the (unnamed) place as chosen by G-d where it can be consumed. There is a note of pragmatism here. If it is too far or unwieldy to transport the stuff, it may be sold locally and the money brought to the chosen place where you can buy all sorts of goodies to consume in a feast. Every third year, the tithe shall be for the benefit of the Levites within the respective settlements. Curiously, the portion to be set aside for the priests is not mentioned here.
The practice of tithing, introduced in Numbers (במדבר) as a tax for the Levites and maintaining the Temple, here is also an instrument for charity and social welfare.
Chapter 15, Verses 1 through 11 – Cancellation of debts during the seventh year; caring for the needyEvery seventh year, debts between the Israelites are to be negated. This does not apply to debts owed by a foreigner (נכרי). This is in addition to the shmitah (שמטה) as proscribed in Exodus for the Sabbatical year. Obviously, such negation of existing debt could only hold for a considerably basic pastoral society. As soon as even the most elemental commerce begins to develop, the people needed to enact an effective workaround. Hillel the Elder (first century ACE) enacted the concept of the prosbul ( – פרוזבולfrom the Greek: “In front of the court”) which was in effect a legal fiction: loans were to be transferred to the courts as the law of remission does not apply to loans within the public domain. Israeli banks to this day require the signing of a prosbul document to effect a loan. It is also used in the United States by Hebrew Loan Societies to enact interest-free loans to the needy.
Note verse 4: ” There shall be no needy among you …”. This is understood to be a reprimand, as there should not be any needy among the people. As the Torah is not written for a fictional utopia, it acknowledges in verse 11 below that reality is that there always will be needy in the land, and so we are commanded to “open our hands” to the poor and needy.
Verses 7 through 11 implore us to be generous in helping the needy, whether your kinsman, or the other poor in the land. We are again reminded where we come from (slavery in Egypt) so we should not be too haughty or stingy when it comes to the poor among us.
Verses 12 through 18 – Freeing the Hebrew slaveA Hebrew slave (actually an indentured servant) must be set free during the Sabbatical year. Upon his release, he is not to go without the wherewithal to subsist on his own as a free man, furnished with goods to tide him over. Should he not wish to be set free, he is to have his ear drilled(!), and then will become a slave in perpetuity. The above applies to both male and female Hebrew slaves. The same matter was previously brought up in Exodus, chapter 21, verses 2 to 7. The difference is that in Exodus, the mandatory freeing of male slaves does not apply to female slaves. Also, in Exodus we learn that if he was married or had children while in bondage, they are to remain behind.
Verses 19 through 23 – Annual pilgrimage with firstborn animalsAll firstborn animals, except those with blemishes or defects, are to be brought to the holy site on an annual pilgrimage and consumed there (but not the blood).
Chapter 16, Verses 1 through 17 – The three pilgrimage festivalsEstablishing the three pilgrimage festivals: Passover pilgrimage (פסח) commemorates the exodus from Egypt. Seven weeks from the second day of Passover we come to Shavuot ( שבועות – Weeks), marking the beginning of the grain harvest and the first fruits, and Sukkot – (סוכות), the conclusion of the grain harvest. The pilgrimages are to a single destination as yet unnamed.
In Talmudic times, the holidays were redefined from their agricultural roots: Shavuot now signified giving of Torah at Mount Sinai, and Sukkot commemorated the temporary dwellings during the period of the exodus and the wanderings in Sinai.
Previously, in Leviticus (chapter23, verses 42 to 43) we were commanded to live in booths for seven days to remember that we lived in booths when we were brought out of Egypt.
Both in commemoration of the festival of Shavuot and of the festival of Sukkot (verses 9 to 15), we are commanded to gather the community, inclusive of the stranger, the orphan, and the widow, to rejoice. It must be noted that we are even commanded to include in the celebrations whatever slaves we possess.
The custom was developed in post Talmudic times to observe Simchat Torah (שמחת תורה) on the seventh day of Sukkot to celebrate the annual cycle of reading the Torah. The final two chapters of Deuteronomy and the first two chapters of Genesis are read.
The three pilgrimage festivals serve to cement a central place for the sacrificial observances, with the aim of unifying the people.
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On this week’s encore broadcast of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Rabbi Dalia Marx, Ph.D., the Rabbi Aaron D. Panken Professor of Liturgy and Midrash at HUC-JIR’s Taube Family Campus in Jerusalem, discusses her new book, From Time to Time, Journeys in the Jewish Calendar.
Time is fundamental to the human experience, and in Judaism it is even more—time is sanctified. Understanding the Jewish calendar is thus essential for fully comprehending Judaism. In From Time to Time, Rabbi Dalia Marx, PhD, presents a fascinating exploration of the treasures of the Jewish year. The book artfully blends traditional and contemporary perspectives on each Hebrew month and its holidays. Rabbi Marx’s insights are paired with striking illustrations; each month also features a diverse selection of poetry, prayers, and songs. Taking a distinctively Israeli, feminist, and progressive approach, From Time to Time is a comprehensive, indispensable companion you will want to return to each season.
Download a study guide from the CCAR Press website.
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions.
Listen to the Audio PodcastYou can listen to the audio podcast version in the player below, or subscribe to the podcast in one of the popular platforms by clicking one of the buttons below the player.
- Apple Podcasts
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- Amazon Music About the GuestRabbi Dalia Marx, Ph.D.Rabbi Dalia Marx, Ph.D., is the Rabbi Aaron D. Panken Professor of Liturgy and Midrash at HUC-JIR’s Taube Family Campus in Jerusalem, and teaches in various academic institutions in Israel and Europe.
Marx, a tenth generation Jerusalemite, earned her doctorate at the Hebrew University and her rabbinic ordination at HUC-JIR in Jerusalem and Cincinnati in 2002. She is involved in various research projects and is active in promoting liberal Judaism in Israel. Marx writes for academic and popular journals and publications.
Marx is the lead editor of the Israeli Reform siddur, Tfillat HaAdam (2020). Her book From Time to Time: Journeys in the Jewish Calendar (Yeditos Sfarim 2018), was translated to several languages, and is available in English from the CCAR Press.
She is the author of When I Sleep and When I Wake: On Prayers between Dusk and Dawn (Yediot Sfarim, 2010, in Hebrew), A Feminist Commentary of the Babylonian Talmud (Mohr Siebeck, 2013, in English), About Time: Journeys in the Jewish-Israeli Calendar (Yediot Sfarim, 2018, in Hebrew) and the co-editor of a few books. See Marx’s website.
Marx lives in Jerusalem with her husband, Roly Zyblersztein, Ph.D. They have three children.
The post 8/23/2024 ENCORE BROADCAST, Seekers of Meaning 5/31/2024: Rabbi Dalia Marx, author of “From Time to Time: Journeys in the Jewish Calendar” appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
On this week’s encore presentation of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Rabbi Jonah Dov Pesner, director of the Religious Action Center of Reform Judaism, discusses the rising incidence of antisemitism and anti-Israel sentiment in the United States and describes some of the programs in Jewish education and interfaith understanding supported by the Center.
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions.
Listen to the Audio PodcastYou can listen to the audio podcast version in the player below, or subscribe to the podcast in one of the popular platforms by clicking one of the buttons below the player.
- Apple Podcasts
- YouTube
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- Amazon Music About the GuestRabbi Jonah Dov PesnerRabbi Jonah Dov Pesner (he/him) serves as the Director of the Religious Action Center of Reform Judaism and has led the Religious Action Center since 2015. Rabbi Pesner also serves as Senior Vice President of the Union for Reform Judaism, a position to which he was appointed in 2011. Named one of the most influential rabbis in America by Newsweek magazine, he is an inspirational leader and tireless advocate for social justice.
Rabbi Pesner’s work focuses on encouraging Jewish communities to reach across lines of race, class, and faith while campaigning for social justice. In 2006, he founded Just Congregations (now incorporated into the Religious Action Center), which engaged clergy, professional, and volunteer leaders in interfaith social justice efforts. Rabbi Pesner was a primary leader in the Massachusetts campaign for health care access that has provided coverage to thousands and became a model for nationwide reform. Over the course of his career, he has also led and supported campaigns for racial justice, economic opportunity, immigration reform, LGBTQ+ equality, human rights, and a variety of other causes. He is dedicated to building bridges to collectively confront antisemitism, Islamophobia, and other forms of hate.
Rabbi Pesner is a Visiting Scholar at Harvard University, speaks regularly on college campuses, has trained students on all four campuses of the Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion and gives speeches in interfaith and secular venues all over the world. Rabbi Pesner serves as a board member of the NAACP, the Leadership Conference on Civil and Human Rights, the National Religious Partnership for the Environment, and the New England Center for Children. He is a member of the Faith-Based Security Advisory Council for the Department of Homeland Security, the W. K. Kellogg Foundation Solidarity Council on Racial Equity and the Leadership Team of the Jewish Social Justice Roundtable. He has served as a scholar for the Wexner Foundation, The Chautauqua Institution, American Jewish World Service, the Nexus USA Summit, and Combined Jewish Philanthropies.
Rabbi Pesner was the co-editor of “Moral Resistance and Spiritual Authority: Our Jewish Obligation to Justice,” wrote the afterword to the newly published “Social Justice Torah Commentary,” and is a widely-published author (view the full list).
Ordained at Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion in 1997, Rabbi Pesner was a congregational rabbi at Temple Israel in Boston, Massachusetts and at Temple Israel in Westport, Connecticut. A graduate of Wesleyan University and the Bronx High School of Science, Rabbi Pesner is married to Dana S. Gershon, an attorney. They have four daughters: Juliet, Noa, Bobbie, and Cate.
View Rabbi Pesner’s writings, remarks and media appearances
The post 8/16/2024 ENCORE BROADCAST, Seekers of Meaning 6/14/2024: Rabbi Jonah Dov Pesner, director of the Religious Action Center of Reform Judaism appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
Parashat Va’etchanan
פרשת ואתחנן
דבריםDevarim3:23 to 7:11
Just as last week’s portion (Devarim) is read on the Shabbat preceding Tishah B’Av, this week’s portion is read on the Sabbath preceding Tu B’Av,(טו באב), a minor holiday referenced in the Mishna as a joyous occasion, sort of a Jewish Valentines Day.
Chapter 3, Verses 23 through 29 – Moses is permitted to gaze at the land that he will not enter
Here again, Moses blames the Israelites for G-d apparently losing patience with him and for his being denied permission to cross over to the promised land. Perhaps as partial compensation, G-d relents somewhat and instructs Moses to climb to the summit from where he can gaze out at the land. Note that in reality, only a fraction of the land west of the Jordan is in the line of sight from the crests of the mountains of Moab.
Moses is further told to give Joshua his instructions and encouragement.
Chapter 4, Verses 1 through 8 – Introduction to the laws
Introductory paragraph to the laws (חוקים) and rules or statutes (משפטים) that are requisite to maintaining a stable society in the land of Israel. Differentiation between the two terms is not clearly defined in the Torah. One interpretation is that Laws are generally taken to be commandments for religious observance for which there may not be an apparent logical reason, or at least the reason may be hidden from us (e.g. Kashrut or shatnez). Statutes deal with criminal or civil matters that are between man and man and not between man and Gd.
The law is what it is. Man cannot add or subtract from the commandments (Verse 2). From this, Torah scribes are enjoined to faithfully copy scrolls without modifications, inclusive of what may to us appear to be typos or contradictions. In that way, the Torah (the written law) is inviolate, unchanged from generation to generation. In practical application, the Oral Law or the Talmud and subsequent commentaries may reinterpret in accordance with changing needs to deal with evolving societies, customs, and norms as well as developing technologies.
Verses 9 through 14 – Reminder of the covenant
Reminder of the covenant at Mount Sinai. The generation that left Egypt died off and the present generation did not witness the covenant, although they are still bound to it.
Verses 15 through 20 – Forbidden to fashion graven images
Reminder that G-d has no shape, and hence we are not to fashion graven images or worship idols. This may be an oblique reference to the incident of the golden calf and a reminder of the grave consequences.
Verses 21 through 31 – Consequences for forgetting or neglecting the covenant
Moses once again admonishes the people that it is their fault that G-d is angry at him and because of them he will not be allowed to enter the promised land.
Moses goes on to give the people a dire warning that they must not forget the covenant, for if they do, uh ohl Many will be wiped out, and the saving remnant will be exiled to strange lands and confronted with strange false gods that will not respond to them. But even in the depths of exile and despair you can find G-d if you truly seek him. Even though he did (or at least permitted) all of this dreadful stuff to befall us, he has not forgotten the covenant.
Verses 32 through 43 – Israel unique among the nations
Reminder that Israel is unique among the peoples, having received the covenant, having been led out of Egypt (begs the question as to why we were there in the first place) and being led to the promised land as a possession. We are told in no uncertain terms that we must continue to observe the laws and rules so things will go well with us.
Verse 39וידעת היום והשבת אל לבבך כי ה’ הוא האלוקים בשמים ממעל ועל הארץ מתחת אין עוד) – “And you will know today and know in your mind that He is G-d in heaven above and on earth below. There is no other.”) affirms monotheism, that is, the oneness of Gd. This verse is included in the Aleinu prayer at the conclusion of every service.
Verses 41 through 43 somewhat out of context deals with the three cities of refuge being established east of the Jordan. In the book of Numbers, chapter 35, verses 6 through 15, three additional cities of refuge west of the Jordan are called for, but this land has not yet been conquered.
Verses 44 through 49 – This is the Torah that Moses placed before Israel
Note verse 44 (וזאת התורה אשר שם משה לפני בני ישראל – “This is the Torah/teaching that Moshe placed before the Israelites”) that begins the Torah reading service. In the service, from the Book of Joshua, the following is added: על פי ה’ ביד משה: (“At the command of G-d through Moses”).
Why does it read “placed” and not “taught”? Perhaps because it is up to us individually to decide if, and to what extent, we study and possibly adapt the teachings of the Torah.
Chapter 5, Verses 1 through 30 – Repetition of the Ten Commandments
Here all the people are called to hear a repetition of, and expansion on, the ten commandments as given at Mount Sinai (Exodus, chapter 20). In verse three the people are reminded that the covenant is not just with the fathers who were present at Mount Sinai 38 years ago and are now dead, but with all who are present. The Rabbis assert that this also applies to all future generations of Jews. As we say in the Passover seder, each generation must see itself as having left Egypt.
In verse 9, we are reminded that G-d is a jealous god (אנכי ה’ אלקיך אל קנא), holding the descendants to the third and the fourth generation guilty – פקד עון אבות (or is a better translation “responsible”?) for the sins of the fathers.
In verse 12, we are commanded to observe the sabbath “and keep it holy” (שמור את השבת לקדשו). Back in Exodus, chapter 20, verse 8 we were commanded to remember the sabbath and keep it holy (זכור את יום השבת לקדשו). Why the difference? Possibly because in Exodus, G-d was addressing the generation that left Egypt and was recently freed from bondage. Under their Egyptian taskmasters, they were probably not allowed to keep the sabbath. At most, they could remember the sabbath. Here in Deuteronomy, Moses is addressing the generation that grew up in the desert and is now on the verge of settling the promised land where they will have the ability to both remember and keep the sabbath.
Note in verse 14, the injunction to refrain from work on the Sabbath is not limited to the Israelites, but extends to their livestock, their slaves, and even “the stranger (perhaps resident is a better translation of גר) in your settlements”. Apparently, it is not permissible to hire or obtain the services of a “Shabbos goy”. One rabbinic interpretation (still far from a majority opinion) is that it is permissible to engage the services of a “Shabbos goy” when it comes to a violation of Rabbinic Law but not Torah Law. For example, under this lenient interpretation you can request a Shabbos goy to turn on a LED light bulb but not an incandescent or fluorescent light bulb (as this would be akin to initiating a spark).
Note in verse 26: “May they always be of such mind …” (מי יתן ויהיה לבבכם בזה) also translated as “Who can assure that this heart shall remain theirs …” The Rabbis point to this verse as proof that we are granted free will; G-d does not know in advance if we will choose to obey him or not. Rabbi Akiva taught, perhaps self-contradictory, that “Everything is foreseen, yet freedom of choice exists”. Perhaps to put this in contemporary terms, Rabbi Akiva’s intent is that G-d macromanages but does not micromanage. What do you think?
Chapter 6, Verses 1 through 25 – Another injunction to obey the laws
Again, an injunction to obey the laws and rules set down by G-d to Moses to convey to the people.
Note verse 4, The Shema prayer. This is arguably the most important and well-known prayer in Judaism, affirming Gd’s singularity (שמע ישראל ה’ אלוקנו ה’ אחד). Reportedly, since the martyrdom of Rabbi Akiva, this is the final prayer that a Jew pronounces at the moment of his death. Note that in the Torah, the final letter in the first word and the final letter in the last word are enlarged. Together they form the word עד (witness), perhaps signifying that the reader of this simple prayer affirms Gd’s oneness.
Verses 5 through 9 are incorporated into the daily prayer liturgy. How can anyone be commanded to love (ואהבת את ה’ אלוקיך), as opposed to being commanded to obey? The Rabbis teach that love of G-d comes from learning the Torah. Of course, as Rashi noted, it is always preferable to obey out of love, then out of fear for the consequences. Maimonides further commented that obedience out of fear is useful as an educational or pedagogic measure until a student acquires sufficient knowledge and insight to act out of love.
From verse 8 we get the Talmudic commandment to put on phylacteries (וקשרתם לאות על ידך והיו לטטפת בין עיניך).
Verse 9 is the source of the Talmudic command to affix a Mezuzah to the doorposts (וכתבתם על מזוזות ביתיך ובשעריך).
Verses 10 through 25 contain injunctions to behave and not chase after false gods, as the Lord is a jealous god (אל קנא) and it will not end well for us if we provoke Him.
Chapter 7, Verses 1 through 11 – Injuction to destroy the nations of Canaan
The nations that inhabit Canaan will, with Gd’s help, be defeated. The Torah prescribes that they be destroyed along with their altars and other religious artifacts. Intermarriage with them is expressly forbidden. The concern is that they will influence the Israelites to worship other gods. For that reason, failure to destroy them will incur Gd’s wrath. This passage has troubling moral implications to our contemporary ears. After all, if the Israelites are led astray by the idolatrous practices of the ambient cultures, who is to blame, the surrounding peoples or the Israelites?
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On life’s journey into my 80s
plenty of ups and downs occurred
I used to believe my bliss
depends on circumstances –
Tenure decision negative
Marriage proposal accepted
That’s not how I think today
In the past two decades
I’ve seen the golden light
It’s not what happens to me
It’s how I respond to it –
Washington, DC’s coolness
helped me find magical Sedona
Cancer awakened me
to holistic rejuvenation
I’ve realized my wisdom
comes from the hard knocks
the world has given me
It’s my choice to be fulfilled
influencing my total health
Old age decline is the default
from repeating the same tiring life
becoming receptive to disease
thinking too much of dying, death
We can’t regain our youth
Ah, but we can become youthful
in attitude, thinking, vitality, behavior
Here’s how I’ve done it:
Regarding life as an adventure –
daring, risk taking, creativity, novelty
active, listening, sharing, learning
singing, dancing, traveling, growing
Obtaining guidance from —
spiritual teachings, religious traditions
self-awakening, self-development
Connecting with uplifting people
hanging out with them
Enjoying Nature’s renewing power –
forests, mountains, lakes, beaches, Ocean
Tapping into creativity, expressing it
Eating healthily
Exercising well
Regular check-ups
I’ve realized the value of combining
aspects of aging and youthfulness –
Aging for maturity, sensitivity, grace
self-care, contribution, inspiration
Youthfulness for energy, newness,
adventure, optimism, exploration, fun
May you discover and pursue
the right aging blend for you
May the Life Force be within you
Each day alive with blessings
Learn more about Adventurous Aging for Seniors, a coaching service, at https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100082105301582. You can contact Larry at larryros@gmail.com and 1.928.202.0010 Eastern Time.
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On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Shulamit Sofia, a modern elder with many decades of therapeutic experience in supporting others discusses her new book, From Oy to Joy: A Soul Journey to Making the Rest of Your Life the Best of Your Life.
From Oy to Joy is your guide to a more satisfying, meaningful, and joyous life! You will learn to elevate and broaden your perspective on life, to focus on the good, to accept what you can’t change, and to take the necessary steps to improve your circumstances in whatever way you can.
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions.
Listen to the Audio PodcastYou can listen to the audio podcast version in the player below, or subscribe to the podcast in one of the popular platforms by clicking one of the buttons below the player.
- Apple Podcasts
- YouTube
- Spotify
- Podchaser
- Amazon Music About the GuestShulamit SofiaShulamit Sofia is a modern elder with many decades of therapeutic experience in supporting others. She has a BA in psychology from the University of Pennsylvania, a Master’s in clinical social work from Columbia University, and did post graduate training with The National Institute of Mental Health in personality development and community consultation. A spiritual seeker since childhood, she has also received training in meditation and mystical practices.
Her academic studies, clinical experience, and spiritual training have enhanced her own life passage and prepared her to support and guide those facing internal and external obstacles in their journey through life. She has learned many lessons along the way, which are now available to you to learn as successful strategies for dealing with life’s difficulties.
A lifelong writer, her first book, Climbing the Sacred Ladder: Your Path to Love, Joy, Peace, and Purpose, received acclaim from nationally recognized spiritual leaders of all religious dominations. When faced with the pandemic’s disruption of her busy life and forced to socially isolate, she returned to writing. Her second book, From Oy to Joy: A Soul Journey to Making the Best of Your Life for the Rest of Your Life, reflects her own journey and offers guidance to support those dealing with the challenges of aging.
The post Seekers of Meaning 8/9/2024: Shulamit Sofia, author of “From Oy to Joy” appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
Book Five – Devarim (“Words” in Hebrew) – Deuteronomy (“Second Law” in Greek)
or
Mishnah HaTorah –משנה התורה (Copy or repetition of the Torah)
Parashat Devarim
פרשת דברים
דברים Deuteronomy 1:1 to 3:22Devarim is the fifth and final book of the Torah, quite possibly added on at a later date to an earlier four-book Torah.
Devarim is arguably unique among the books of the Torah in that it possibly has a historical setting for its authorship. Many biblical scholars identify the Book of Devarim with the discovery of the “Book of Teaching” (Sepher HaTorah – ספר התורה ) referenced as having been found in the Holy Temple by Hilkiah, high priest during the reign of Josiah, the king of Judah (640 – 608 BCE) (Reference: II Kings, Chapter 22). The finding of this book heralded a (short lived) reformation of Jewish life in the Kingdom of Judea, ending idolatrous practices (such as astrology) and firming up the centrality of Jerusalem for worship and the offering of sacrifices.
Devarim includes a repetition (more of an “executive summary” in contemporary terms) of the exodus and the laws as laid out in previous books with some new laws thrown in. Devarim is not a mere repetition or clarification of the first four books of the Torah. Rather it is a later attempt to modify or subtly transform or clarify parts of it, perhaps to respond to more contemporary needs. In addition, Deuteronomy introduces seventy new laws or commandments.
Traditional Jews tend to see all five books of the Torah as an integral whole and harmonize and rationalize any apparent contradictions. Some non-orthodox rabbinic commentators made the bold assertion that Deuteronomy is not as sacred as the rest of the Torah as it is not directly dictated by G-d but does include human interpretation.
It should be noted that Parashat Devarim is always read on the Shabbat preceding Tisha B’Av (תשעה באב), the date in the Hebrew calendar when tradition tells us that both temples were destroyed, and other tragedies have befallen the Jewish people. And indeed, Moses’ retelling of the 40-year sojourn through the desert reads in large part as a summary of misadventures and missteps. The Shabbat when this parashah is read is known as Shabbat Hazon (שבת חזון), sabbath of vision as Moses is preparing the Israelites for a future without their leader.
Chapter 1, Verses 1 through 5 – Moses begins his farewell address
Setting: After forty years of schlepping through the Sinai, the older generation had died out and the new generation is camped east of the Jordan in the land of Moab waiting to cross over and begin their conquest of the Promised Land.
Unlike the earlier books of the Torah that are primarily narrative and written in the third person, the book of Devarim (except for this brief Introduction to set the stage) is written in the first person; the voice of Moses addressing the Israelites. The voice of G-d is silent in Devarim.
Moses knows he is about to die (he is 120 years old after all) and this is his farewell message to the children of Israel. It is both a promise of rewards for observing the commandments and a dire warning of consequences for neglecting the commandments. He is assessing his life and defining his legacy.
Verses 6 through 8 – Israelites are commanded to take possession of the land
Moses relays G-d’s command to take possession of the land that was promised to the patriarchs. Note the geography. This goes beyond the boundaries as described in previous chapter (Numbers Chapter 34, verses 1 through 12) that roughly describes the extent of the Kingdom of Israel at its peak during the reigns of David and Solomon, before the inevitable split into the Northern and Southern kingdoms, decline, destruction, and exile. Some traditional scholars explain this inconsistency by claiming that the boundaries described here (up to the Euphrates River no less!) are the borders that were previously promised to the patriarch Abraham (Genesis Chapter 15, verse 18) that the Israelites would have reached if they were not mislead by the spies (Numbers Chapter 13, verses 1 through 33).
Verses 9 through 18 – Retelling of the appointing of judges
The appointing of Judges is here modified in the retelling. Recounting from the Book of Exodus (Shemot), but Jethro (whose idea it was for the appointment of the judges} is not acknowledged here. Is Moses being petty, wanting to claim the credit for himself? Or, more likely, we see an aged man whose memory and recollection have faded. Perhaps this book is more nationalistic and wanted to remove the embarrassment of elevating a non-Jew, especially one from a people who have recently been vanquished. Also, Moses stipulates that Judges must be wise and experienced; there is no requirement to be god-fearing. Also, in this version, the people, not Moses, choose the Judges. Note that in Numbers, the judges and Moses are to take their direction from G-d. Here in Devarim, it is Moses and the Judges who must find the answers on their own, although the law is acknowledged to be of divine origin (Verse 17: “…. judgement is G-d’s – המשפט לאלקים הוא”). That is, Judgement now is a matter of human discernment, not seeking “divine truth”.
Verses 19 through 36 – Retelling of the story of the scouts
The story of the scouts and the consequences is here modified in the retelling. In the Book of Numbers, G-d instructs (or possibly just permits) Moses to dispatch twelve spies or scouts. Here, the Israelites hatched the plan. In Numbers, ten of the scouts gave a frightening report, but that fact is not recalled here. Now Moses places the blame solely on the Israelites. Recall that by now the generation that was frightened and deterred by the scouts’ report had all died off during the intervening 38 years. Here Moses appears to be transferring the blame (or perhaps the responsibility?) to the generation that grew up after the incident. Why is he laying this guilt trip on them? Perhaps to emphasize that the covenant entered into at Sinai applies no less to, and obligates, the future generations yet unborn.
What to make of the “giants” (Anakites – בני ענקים) that so intimidated the people? Were these really giants? One possible explanation is that the Israelites, both the generation that came out of Egypt and those that grew up in the wilderness had a subsistence diet that was lacking in nutrients vital for growth so they were generally short in stature. Confronting the people settled in Canaan, farmers who had a more wholesome diet rich in fruits and vegetables, grew to full height and were strong in stature. For that reason, they appeared intimidating to the Israelites, even gigantic (even if that was a bit of hyperbola).
Verses 37 through 45 – Moses apportions blame for being barred from entering the land
In Moses’ retelling in Deuteronomy, Moses is G-d’s faithful and long suffering servant, bearing the brunt of G-d’s frustration and anger at his wayward people. Recall that Moses is barred from entering the promised land because he struck the rock. Here, in Moses’ retelling, the people are to blame.
Verse 46 and Chapter 2, Verses 1 through 25 – Retelling of passage through Edom and Moab
Recalling the passage of the Israelites through the lands of Edom and Moab (inhabited by the descendants of Esau and of Lot respectively). Summary here differs from the narrative in Numbers where the Israelites were denied permission to pass through the territory of the Edomites and the Moabites were vanquished.
Verses 26 through 37 and Chapter 3, Verses 1 through 11 – More warfare along the way
Description of ancient warfare in all its horrifying inhumanity.
Questions for discussion: Does the Torah condone or command such behavior or is this acknowledgment that this is the common practice of the time?
The Torah speaks to us on several levels. Perhaps the hidden message is that war is a nasty business. By presenting us with the horrific consequences with any hint of glory or romanticism stripped away, we are being warned to think long and hard before engaging in conflict (or, in this instance, am I guilty of “harmonizing”?).
Verses 12 through 22 – Assigning lands east of the Jordan to Gad, Reuven and Menasseh
Moses here assigns the conquered lands east of the Jordan to the tribes of Gad, Reuben, and the half tribe of Menasseh. No mention is made that this was a compromise measure, reluctantly granted to by Moses in response to the reasonable request of these tribes.
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Psychology teaches us that “anger” is a secondary emotional response. It is a response to a far more primary emotion or experience. But what is that most basic experience that would generate that most basic primary emotion? Stopping and giving some serious thought as to what angers us might be the first step in learning to understand and control our emotions.
Throughout the Torah, Moses frequently expresses his anger. We initially find this in his killing the Egyptian taskmaster, his breaking of the first Ten Commandment tablets, his striking the rock rather than speaking to it to get water to flow, and his insistence that all the adult women, boys, and non-virginal females of the Midianites be slaughtered. So what experiences undergird these responses and possibly others?
God, more often than not, also responds initially with anger before unleashing judgements which might include plagues, fiery serpents, the earth opening its mouth to swallow up those who rebel, and His insistence that pagan tribes be eradicated.
When Moses first encounters God in the burning bush and hears God’s mission for him, he is reluctant, not believing he is capable to fulfill this mission. He gives reasons for his reluctance, but God, in effect, is saying, “Let this be a challenge for you.” God’s subtext here is, “Let me make you an offer you can’t refuse.” God does not take “no” for an answer. Thus, Moses is thrust reluctantly onto the stage of history to be ultimately viewed as the greatest prophet of all time and the hero who ultimately brings the Children of Israel to the Promised Land though not able to enter because God is still angry at him for not honoring Him by striking the rock rather than speaking to it.
So what are the more primary feelings that are expressed with anger by both God and Moses? Each time Moses expresses anger he is confronted by the people he has led and tried to nourish because of their behavior which indicates that they have not learned the lessons he has tried to teach them and have rejected the wonders placed before them. His frustration and feelings of rejection for all his efforts and sacrifices are primary emotions that express themselves in anger. In effect, he is saying, “Why have you not listened to me?” “Why have you not accepted the reality of your God?” “Why have you rejected me and betrayed me at every turn?”
Moses’ “I Message” might have been: “When I hear these complaints about not having water or meat to eat knowing full well that you have always been provided for by God, I feel frustrated and betrayed and start to wonder if I can fulfill the purpose God has given me, and if my life can be counted as a success.”
God’s anger is primarily generated by the ingratitude He sees among His people, but God’s underlying feeling that generates this anger is definitely betrayal and discount. God brought these people out of slavery in Egypt, split the Sea of Reeds so they could escape the Egyptian army, gave them the Ten Commandments and the Torah, gave them water and manna so they could be sustained, and had Moses, Aaron, and Miriam model correct behavior for them. Still this “stiff necked people ” rebelled at every turn, and at one point some worshiped a golden calf and some bowed down to Baal. “How much more could I have done for them to believe in Me?” “How can they continue to discount what I have done for them?” “How can they continue to discount me!?” God’s primary emotions that generate His anger are feelings of discount and betrayal.
God’s “I Message” might have been: “When I see the people I rescued from slavery, given my Torah, and brought to the Promised Land behave in ways contrary to My laws, I start to feel discounted and betrayed which generates the thought that there are those among my human creations that just cannot be pleased.”
I cannot help but think about all the people who are angry at their siblings, their parents, their friends, their spouses, and their children. I can’t help but think about all the children who are angry at their parents, their siblings, etc. Have they ever stopped to think about what has actually generated that anger and addressed what lies beneath? If people could identify the cause of the anger, face it, and utter it, perhaps there can be reconciliation if “I messages” are made.
If we all could stop for a moment and think of what we are really feeling before our anger, a secondary emotional response kicks in and take time to quietly make some sort of “I Message,” perhaps we can make our lives less stressful.
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On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Dr. Jonathan Branfman, Eli Reinhard Postdoctoral Fellow at the Taube Center for Jewish Studies, Stanford University, discusses his book, Millennial Jewish Stars: Navigating Racial Antisemitism, Masculinity, & White Supremacy. Branfman is a former resident of Cherry Hill, NJ.
Jewish stars have longed faced pressure to downplay Jewish identity for fear of alienating wider audiences. But unexpectedly, since the 2000s, many millennial Jewish stars have won stellar success while spotlighting (rather than muting) Jewish identity. In Millennial Jewish Stars, Jonathan Branfman asks: what makes these explicitly Jewish stars so unexpectedly appealing? And what can their surprising success tell us about race, gender, and antisemitism in America? To answer these questions, Branfman offers case studies on six top millennial Jewish stars: the biracial rap superstar Drake, comedic rapper Lil Dicky, TV comedy duo Abbi Jacobson and Ilana Glazer, “man-baby” film star Seth Rogen, and chiseled film star Zac Efron.
Branfman argues that despite their differences, each star’s success depends on how they navigate racial antisemitism: the historical notion that Jews are physically inferior to Christians. Each star especially navigates racial stigmas about Jewish masculinity—stigmas that depict Jewish men as emasculated, Jewish women as masculinized, and both as sexually perverse. By embracing, deflecting, or satirizing these stigmas, each star comes to symbolize national hopes and fears about all kinds of hot-button issues. For instance, by putting a cuter twist on stereotypes of Jewish emasculation, Seth Rogen plays soft man-babies who dramatize (and then resolve) popular anxieties about modern fatherhood. This knack for channeling national dreams and doubts is what makes each star so unexpectedly marketable.
In turn, examining how each star navigates racial antisemitism onscreen makes it easier to pinpoint how antisemitism, white privilege, and color-based racism interact in the real world. Likewise, this insight can aid readers to better notice and challenge racial antisemitism in everyday life.
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions.
Listen to the Audio PodcastYou can listen to the audio podcast version in the player below, or subscribe to the podcast in one of the popular platforms by clicking one of the buttons below the player.
- Apple Podcasts
- YouTube
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- Amazon Music About the GuestJonathan BranfmanJonathan Branfman is the Eli Reinhard Postdoctoral Fellow at the Taube Center for Jewish Studies, Stanford University.
He researches race, masculinity, and Jewish identity in popular media. His work invites Jewish, feminist, queer, critical race, and media studies to grasp how historical anti-Semitism shapes present-day U.S. visual culture, and how Jewish stars harness this stigma to enter America’s core cultural debates.
The post Seekers of Meaning 8/2/2024: Prof. Jonathan Branfman’s Book, “Millennial Jewish Stars” About Racism and Antisemitism appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
My Bubbe used to say, “Nothing is perfect!” I’d counter with, “But can’t we try to make things perfect?” And she’d always say, “Perfection is in the trying!”I never really understood what that meant until I was older. But as a kid, I’d try for a perfect math test score, the perfect English essay, as editor of my high school newspaper, each week I’d try for the perfect edition, and I was always trying to find the perfect dress for the next school dance.
While raising kids, you want them to have perfect manners, of course, perfect grades while getting into the perfect college.
By then we should have caught on to Bubbe’s wisdom that nothing is perfect! Especially the things we can’t control, like the world around us. Over the years, when asked how I always kept such a neat house, I realized it was because it was the only thing I could totally control for my personal perfection!
So how do we reconcile that as hard as we try, we can’t always, or less than always, achieve the outcomes we’ve strived for and accept that putting in the hard work was trying and was a form of personal perfection!
Lately, as Baby Boomers, we see the world spinning on an unfamiliar axis that often feels like we’re in the twilight zone! As far away as perfection can get! Nothing seems normal or familiar and it can create a feeling of, “What is happening? Let me know when things return to normal!” because it is hard to accept the new normal!
I recently moved and among the stress of packing and unpacking were the dozens of phones calls to various credit cards, financial institutions, electric/gas company, TV provider, etc. that takes hours of time. A task you want to finish quickly and be done with! But among the many questions they ask to secure it’s really YOU they are speaking to, is this unnerving response by 90% of the people on the other end of the phone taking my info: “Name please?” I answer. Their response: “Perfect. Phone number?” I answer. “Perfect. Account number?” I answer. “Perfect. New address?” I answer. “Perfect.”
PERFECT? My name is perfect? My account number is perfect? Can anyone explain to me why they respond with PERFECT? In a world that is so IMPERFECT are they just letting us know that our name and address are one thing that is perfect? On one hand it makes me laugh and on the other, well, I don’t know, it’s just a weird Customer Service response and makes me ponder the meaning of PERFECT because I know next to a newborn baby’s soft skin, our grandchildren and a scrumptious chocolate cake, nothing much is perfect!
And as we experience the 2024 Olympics, I will admit, I thought the Opening Ceremonies were close to creative perfection, but I hold my breath as I watch the athletes try for their personal perfection. And then I remember what Bubbe said, “Perfection is in the trying!” Very applicable to the athletes, and I’m sure Bubbie never watched the Olympics!
And I can’t count the many times I’ve heard politicians or pundits say, “We can do better!”
Can we? How far have we fallen off the rails that civility seems out of reach? Why isn’t “Agreeing to disagree” a workable common goal we should strive for and not something to walk away from because our opinions are more important than our relationships?
Perfection is one thing but common ground with respect for our differences and appreciation for our similarities might be a new starting point. Our world has lost the value each person brings to the table. Are we naïve enough to believe that everything must be perfect while common courtesies, different perspectives, upbringings and appreciation for our neighbors could/should be a value we hold dear?
While hanging all my artwork when I moved into my new place, I experienced the frustration of not always hanging a wall of pictures in the straight line I had envisioned. Then it hit me! I purposely placed my pictures in a scattered/imperfect alignment so I would be in constant reminder that nothing is perfect, and, in the imperfection, I could see a more interesting view, a perspective I hadn’t thought about and a sense that different was okay!
Come on, world/ America, leave perfection to a perfect chocolate cake and let’s try our best to agree to disagree, have commonality for safety and peace, especially for that sweet newborn and our grandchildren!
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On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Rabbi Shlomo Brody discusses Ematai.org, a web resource providing guidance from a Jewish perspective for issues of healthcare and end-of-life decision-making.
Ematai helps individuals and their families anticipate the questions they’ll need to answer as they continue on their healthcare journey.
Ematai also explores the big moral questions that society needs to face as technological revolutions change the human experience.
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions.
Listen to the Audio PodcastYou can listen to the audio podcast version in the player below, or subscribe to the podcast in one of the popular platforms by clicking one of the buttons below the player.
- Apple Podcasts
- YouTube
- Spotify
- Podchaser
- Amazon Music
About the GuestRabbi Dr. Shlomo BrodyRabbi Dr. Shlomo Brody is the executive director of Ematai and the Jewish Law Live
columnist for the Jerusalem Post. He previously served as the founding director of the Tikvah Overseas Student Institute and co-dean of Tikvah Online Academy, a senior instructor at Yeshivat Hakotel, and as a junior research fellow at the Israel Democracy Institute.
Brody’s career has focused on making Jewish texts accessible to broader audiences while applying them to contemporary social and ethical dilemmas. His writings have been cited in Israeli Supreme Court decisions and have appeared in Mosaic, First Things, Tradition, The Federalist, Tablet, Tzohar, The Forward, Hakirah, Jewish Review of Books, and other popular publications.
His first book, A Guide to the Complex: Contemporary Halakhic Debates (Maggid), received a National Jewish Book Award. His second book, Ethics of Our Fighters: A Jewish View on War and Morality, was published in January 2024 and will be published in Hebrew at the end of the year.
A summa cum laude graduate of Harvard College, he received rabbinic ordination from the Israeli Chief Rabbinate, an MA in Jewish philosophy at the Hebrew University, and his PhD from Bar Ilan University Law School, where he continues to serve as a post-doctoral fellow. Rabbi Brody has been an invited scholar-in-residence at over 60 distinguished congregations and campuses in the United States, Canada, England, and Israel.
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Parashat Pinchas
פרשת פנחס
במדבר Numbers 25:10 to 30:1
Chapter 25 – Pinchus inherits the priesthood; war with the Midianites (Verses 10 through 18)
Pinchas’ impulsive vigilante action is looked upon with favor by G-d, and as a result the plague is halted, and the surviving Israelites are saved from being eliminated. Was Pinchus’ impetuous act justified in this situation, where order may have been breaking down into anarchy? Did Moses abrogate leadership and Pinchas step into the breach as some commentators proposed?
As a reward, Pinchas, son of Eleazar (the elder surviving son of Aaron the priest) is to inherit the priesthood, an honor that will be accorded to his descendants for all time. Isn’t this nepotism? Perhaps not in the spirit of the times. What do you think?
Title of high priest is to be inherited, not based on moral fortitude or capability. Could it be that G-d considered the impetuous Pinchas to be a “loose cannon”, and by granting him the title of High Priest, he would assume a ceremonial position without leadership duties and so the chances of misadventure were minimized, and he may have been effectively neutralized.
G-d’s anger over what transpired is not totally assuaged. He commands Moses that the Israelites are to go to war against the Midianites and defeat them. This is troubling on two levels:
- A young Moses, when fleeing Pharaoh’s court was taken in by the Midianites. Don’t the Israelites owe them a degree of gratitude?
- The Israelites were willingly seduced by the Midianite women, possibly prostitutes. If so, the women were just plying the world’s oldest profession. Didn’t Judah casually partake of the services of who appeared to him as a prostitute (not knowing that she was his daughter in law Tamar)? Killing them because the boys were being boys makes as much sense as for a patron of McDonalds to burn down the restaurant after he became obese from over consumption of junk food. Of course, one interpretation is that the sin of the Israelites was not in going with the prostitutes as much as adopting their idol worship.
Another census (Chapter 25, Verse 19 and chapter 26, Verses 1 through 65)
After the plague ended, G-d commands Moses and Eleazar to conduct a census of all the (male) Israelites able to bear arms (כל יצא צבא), from the age of twenty, by clan. The Torah does not clarify the criteria to determine who is able to bear arms; many being too old or infirm. Also, the Levites are to be exempt from military service, yet they are still counted.
Verses 52 through 56 determine how the land will be apportioned by shareholders in accordance with the above census. Not clear is how land would be (or not be) allotted for those not judged able to bear arms.
Note verse 64: None of the Israelite who were counted in the previous census, taken 38 years earlier, save Caleb and Joshua, are still around. The others, as promised by G-d, died out in the wilderness. It is up to the next generation to conquer the promised land.
Chapter 27 – The daughters of Zelophehad (Verses 1 through 11)
Here we have the famous story of the five daughters of Zelophehad (צלפחד). They presented their plight before Moses, Eleazer and other macher. Their father died without any sons. Under law and custom, as reiterated in the previous section (verses 52 through 56), his inheritance would go to his male kinsmen. They appealed to receive a share of the inheritance. Note that they were not asking for a full inheritance as would be the due for male heirs, only for a share. Moses brings the conundrum before G-d, who decrees a reasonable (for this period) reform, such that in the case of no male descendants, the property goes to the daughter(s). Only if there are no descendants of either sex will the property revert to the deceased’s closest male next of kin. No mention is made as to how two or more daughters would divide the estate. Rashi commented that the daughters are indeed wise and praiseworthy. “They saw what Moses did not forsee.” And of course, they showed a large degree of courage and perhaps chutzpah, not accepting the “natural” order of thing, and very publicly pleaded their case in the male dominated sphere.
The daughters had concerns that extended beyond their future share of the tribal allotment in the promised land. Without property, they would not have a dowry to attract husbands. Left alone, without resources, their chances of survival would be virtually nil. Still, one must admire their courage to take a stand in a patriarchal society and to challenge the prevailing laws and customs. Are we witnessing the first stirrings of feminism, with (limited) divine approval, or is this simple survival?
It is revealing that G-d saw fit to change or rather modify His previous law regarding inheritance to handle this new wrinkle that the daughters have presented to Moses. This raises a theological dilemma. Why did G-d not accommodate this possibility (only female, no male heirs) in the original ruling regarding inheritance? Here we see that divine law was adapted to handle new, perhaps unforeseen circumstances. The law will be somewhat modified (read “rolled back” to some extent) in Parashat Mas’ey (chapter 36, verses 1 through 12) where further restriction is placed upon the women; they can only inherit the land if they marry within the tribe to preserve the tribal holdings intact. Such a limitation is not placed on men.
Moses invests Joshua with leadership authority (Verses 12 through 23)
Moses is instructed to ascend to a high point to observe the promised land, to which he will not be allowed to enter, as punishment for a seemingly minor offense.
Moses invokes G-d to appoint someone to lead the community. In response, G-d instructs Moses to invest Joshua with some of his authority (ונתתה מהודך). The extent of Joshua’s new authority is not defined, nor are the rights and privileges of Moses that are to be withheld. Probably, Joshua was to be invested with mainly secular responsibilities, with religious duties conferred on Eleazar the priest.
Although the priesthood will be hereditary, the leadership will not. Neither of Moses’ two sons, Eleazar and Gershom, are considered for this role, and no more is heard from them. There is a midrash that Moses wanted, or perhaps expected, that one of his sons would have been appointed as his successor. This may have been a reasonable expectation, but it is not even hinted at in the Torah. Perhaps the message is that priestly responsibilities (primarily procedural in nature at this time, not pastoral duties) can be passed down from generation to generation, but leadership (both spiritual and secular) requires character traits that are not necessarily heredity driven.
Chapter 28 – Obligatory sacrificial offerings (Verses 1 through 31, Chapter 29, Verses 1 through 39, and Chapter 30, Verse 1)
G-d dictates to Moses descriptions of the obligatory sacrificial offerings to be presented on a daily basis, on shabbat, on new moons, during the pilgrimage festivals, as well as during the high holy days. No explanations are offered as to the reasons for the offerings, the protocols, or the contents.
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This is a very scary list: Read it slowly. Out loud is best.
- 1950: President Harry Truman not injured, but a law enforcement officer killed.
- 1954: Albert Patterson, A.G.-elect, Alabama killed.
- 1954: Five congressmen, from different states and parties, wounded in incident in Capitol.
- 1963: President John F. Kennedy killed. Lee Harvey Oswald killed two days later.
- 1967: George Lincoln Rockwell, Nazi gubernatorial candidate killed.
- 1968: Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. killed.
- 1968: Robert F. Kennedy killed.
- 1970: Leon Jordan, State Rep Missouri killed.
- 1972: George Wallace shot and paralyzed.
- 1975: President Gerald Ford survived two attempted assassinations.
- 1978: San Francisco Mayor George Moscone and Supervisor Harvey Milk killed.
- 1980: Russell Lloyd, Sr., the mayor of Evansville, Indiana, killed.
- 1980: Allard K Lowenstein, Congressman, killed.
- 1981: President Ronald Reagan shot but survived. James Brady severely and permanently injured.
- 1986: Ed King, mayor of Mt. pleasant, Iowa, killed.
- 1998: Two police officers killed on Capitol Hill.
- 2003: New York City Councilman James Davis killed.
- 2008: Several municipal officials, including two law enforcement officers, killed at a local government meeting in Kirkwood, Missouri.
- 2011: A mass shooting at an Arizona event hosted by Rep. Gabby Giffords resulted in six people killed. Giffords survived with permanent injuries.
- 2013: Mike McLelland, D.A. Kaufman County, Texas, killed.
- 2017: Rep. Steve Scalise survived a shooting at a baseball practice.
- 2022: A gunman opened fire at the campaign headquarters of Louisville mayoral candidate Craig Greenberg. No one was killed.
- 2024: Former president Donald Trump wounded at campaign rally.
This partial list highlights the frequency of gun violence against elected officials in the US. The reasons for these attacks ranged from mob hits to political opposition to racism to anger at being given municipal violations and suffering a sewer backup. In some cases, the motives are just not known. There are actually more incidents that took place on foreign soil, and plenty of attacks without guns. And as you all noticed, this list which aligns with the childhoods of many of the followers Jewish Sacred Aging, starting in 1950.
For many of us, the assassinations of JFK, MLK, and RFK were pivotal moments. I was preparing for my Bar Mitzvah on the day JFK was shot, and as I was exiting JHS 80 on my way to my lesson, I saw our principal crying as we filed past her on the staircase; I never saw her smile much less cry in public. I was finishing high school, worrying about college when the other two were killed. Yet I always thought actual political violence was rare. Now that I research it, it wasn’t really that rare. I read yesterday (but truthfully, I can’t tell if I was reading facts or alternative facts) that 24% of our presidents have faced assassination attempts.
I think what is most troubling isn’t just the sudden prevalence of political violence (or maybe not so sudden), but that in recent times, it has become normalized. Normalized, and certainly no longer surprising. We used to be horrified by political violence. Now we are horrified that we ourselves are having some of these thoughts. Once uniformly condemned by leaders on both sides, the violent rhetoric from our leaders has become commonplace. So commonplace, that in the face of some people calling for the comments to be toned down, reactions were sharply divided, mostly along party lines. Both sides came up with divisive and inciting rhetoric in response to the shooting.
Joy Reid, on MSNBC, suggested that former President Trump faced the consequences of promoting violence. Rachel Maddow called for sobriety. She said political violence is “no freaking joke” and shouldn’t be played with. She, too, seemed to imply Trump reaped what he had sown. “Violence is very unpredictable. Once it’s part of your political system, you never know which direction it’s going to go. Nobody can harness it in one direction only, it doesn’t work that way,” she said.
On the other side, Rep. Mike Collins (R-GA) falsely claimed that Joe Biden sent the orders. Collins quoted the president out of context. Mr. Biden said that he was done talking about the debate, and “it’s time to put Trump in a bullseye.” The quote did not urge violence, it urged a group of donors to focus on Trump. Majorie Taylor Green responded to the assassination attempt by saying that the situation reeked of something sinister and declaring that democrats are evil.
A top political adviser to Democrat Reid Hoffman wrote in an email to journalists that the shooting was “encouraged and maybe even staged.” He later apologized for the comments. I am told that social media exploded with conspiracy claims. If you didn’t have at least some of those thoughts, I would be surprised. Sooner or later, I hate to say this, someone will blame “the Jews.”
Some right-wing posts have used the assassination attempt to justify the theory that the Secret Service is part of a conspiracy to get rid of the former president. The Russian English-language publication Sputnik International made a similar claim, that the Secret Service was “suspiciously slow.” I heard many theories about Trump not ducking, the Secret service not reacting, the shot being pellets not bullets, and the shooter aiming at the teleprompter, not the former president. Right or left, there were plenty of polarized crazy theories to go around, well before the facts were known.
One cybersecurity expert said that with so many unanswered questions, misinformation is likely to fill the information void. He said,”It’s incumbent upon everyone, including social media platforms, to act responsibly and step in…to ensure that this does not spin further out of control. We need to lower the temperature and think a little bit more about the moment we are in.” This was another call for moderation and care. But almost no one is listening. In fact, as I was writing this, I read that Donald Trump, who had originally called for unity, was back to posting that January 6th was a hoax, that the democrats were weaponizing the justice department to go after him, and that he was charged with having sex with someone he never met. And he had been saved (I guess picked) by God!
This polarized, and polarizing rhetoric scares the crap out of me. With the rise in antisemitic statements and incidents, I actually had a thought that we should have a gun in the house, a thought I detest. I hate guns. I hate violence. But I am scared. I felt relatively safe 2 years ago, despite a president who refused to condemn Nazi marchers and praised the January 6th attackers as heroes.
Last week I went to NYC to see Cabaret. And when Clifford (the American) asked Mr. Shultz (his Jewish neighbor) to leave Germany because it wasn’t safe, and Mr Shultz said he was safe because he was a real German, I wondered about our situation here. And as Donald Trump faced an attempted assassination, I worried that this could be our Reichstag moment.
We cannot let it be. We cannot sit back and wait for it to get better, for someone to save us. Because they may be busy. So, I say, we must fight back. But not with violence. Not by rushing out to get guns. With words and votes, and even with money. We must point out and condemn violent and incendiary comments, as soon as they are made. We must find common grounds. We must stand for facts. And we must form or join groups to urge everyone to vote for the candidates who will support the rule of law and our right to live safely and securely. We must give time and money to elect those who will support and fight for the rights of the poor, the widow and the orphan. And the stranger, because we were once strangers in a strange land.
I have said it before in these columns, we must be vigilant, and awake. We may not have the energy to be out in the streets for protests every week. But even if we are old and tired, with our accumulated wisdom we can convince people to take action. Vote. Get others to vote. Getting people to do things is our superpower. Use it. This is the moment.
The post Is this our moment? appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
Rabbi Address, upper left, chats with (clockwise): Catherine Fischer; Kim Passy Yoseph, and Emili Ghraiyib.On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Rabbi Address chats with Kim Passy Yoseph of the Interact Dual Narrative Education Center, and Emili Ghraiyib of MEDJI Tours, joint Palestinian-Israel tours of cultural highlights in the Middle East, along with Catherine Fischer, principal of the synagogue consultancy Sacred-Practice.com, who has been involved in bringing participants to the programs.
The InterAct Education Center uses story-telling, art and technology to help people connect across war-torn divides: whether those divides be political, cultural, ethnic, religious, geographic, or socio-economic.
Dedicated to providing customized itineraries for travel groups as diverse as its destinations, MEJDI Tours is full-service tour company-differentiating itself from the crowd through exclusive access, authentic experiences, extraordinary customer service, and much more – founded on the belief that tourism should be a vehicle for a more positive and interconnected world.
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions.
Listen to the Audio PodcastYou can listen to the audio podcast version in the player below, or subscribe to the podcast in one of the popular platforms by clicking one of the buttons below the player.
- Apple Podcasts
- YouTube
- Spotify
- Podchaser
- Amazon Music About the GuestsKim Passy YosephOn October 7th 2023, Kim’s childhood friend was captured and held hostage by Hamas in Gaza. While joining the family’s efforts to successfully bring Yarden home, Kim continued (until today) to believe that a peaceful resolution is the only way forward.
Since 2017, Kim Passy-Yoseph has been serving as the Director of Operations at MEJDITours as well as the non-profit branch, Interact International – both committed to creating a more interconnected and peaceful world —highlighting dialogue, empathy and understanding on a global scale.
Kim holds a master’s degree in Immigration and Social Integration, which laid the groundwork for her innovative approach to exploring the complexities of multiculturalism. She leads guide facilitation and dialogue training sessions inspiring cooperation and fostering a deeper appreciation for complex social dynamics. She is
vocal and often participates on webinars, podcasts and panel discussions on a variety of topics related to conflict resolution, social integration and women’s role in peace
making.
Emili GhraiyibA dedicated peace activist hailing from the Biblical Shepherd’s Field town of Beit Sahour, Emili holds an MA in Public Policy and Political Action from the Universite de Franche-Comte and is fluent in Arabic, English, and French.
Emili is a licensed tour guide and has been contributing her expertise to MEDJI since before joining the operations team in 2023. Before her time with MEDJI, Emili honed her organizational development, project planning, and implementation skills through various administrative roles in local and international NGOs. Her work involved empowering social action groups in the West Bank, with a particular focus on women in the tourism industry.
Catherine S. Fischer, M.Ed.Catherine S. Fischer is the creator of Sacred Practice: Reimagining Synagogue Engagement. In founding Sacred Practice, she aspires to bring the transformational power of Judaism into all aspects of Jewish communal work, from the seemingly most mundane task to the most extraordinary, finding the sacred and lifting it up so that Jewish organizations radiate purpose and thus thrive.
She began her Jewish professional career in 2001 as the Pennsylvania Regional Director of Outreach and Synagogue Community for the Union for Reform Judaism. In 2004, through Jewish Federation of Greater Philadelphia, Catherine became the Coordinator for the Center City Kehillah (community), working cross-denominationally to strengthen Jewish life in Philadelphia. She was the Director of Membership, Programming, and Philanthropy at Congregation Rodeph Shalom from 2008 to 2020.
Catherine continues to learn from and be inspired by opportunities offered through The Institute for Jewish Spirituality where she is now in training to become a spiritual director as well as Combatants for Peace, Mejdi Tours and InterAct International where she coordinated Israeli/Palestinian dual narrative learning and is planning a fall 2024 trip to Israel and Palestine. She is an active member of her synagogues, Congregation Rodeph Shalom in Philadelphia and Congregation Kol Ami in Cherry Hill.
Catherine graduated from Bard College (with honors) and received her M.Ed. from Lesley University and Shady Hill School. Catherine is currently in training to become a spiritual director through the Institute for Jewish Spirituality. Before she became a Jewish professional, Catherine spent two decades as an elementary, middle school, and college educator.
Catherine lives in Cherry Hill with my husband, Richard. They are extremely proud of their children – Sarah & Eddy and David & Rachel and cherish their two grandchildren, Oliver and Lily.
The post Seekers of Meaning 7/19/2024: A Bridge-building educational and tourism effort between Israelis and Palestinians appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
Parashat Balak
פרשת בלק
במדבר Numbers 22:2 to 25:9
This chapter tells us the story of Balaam (בלעם), the hapless pagan soothsayer that is charged to curse the Israelites but can only bless them. Rabbinic commentators traditionally cast Balaam as a villain, or perhaps a simpleton. Is this justified, or is he a more complex, albeit perhaps a tragic figure?
Chapter 22 – Balak sends for Balaam (Verses 2 through 6)
Balak, King of Moab, is intimidated by the large number of Israelites approaching his kingdom. In his desperation for divine assistance, he sends out for Balaam, apparently an accomplished soothsayer, to curse the Israelites.
Balaam sends Balak’s emissaries back (Verses 7 through 14)
Balaam’s response appears to be honest and straightforward. He apparently gave an honest report, and in accordance with G-d’s instructions, advised Balak’s emissaries that he cannot go with them.
G-d gives Balaam permission to go to Balak (Verses 15 through 20)
Even upon further entreaties by a second group of emissaries, more numerous and dignified than the first group, Balaam appears to be acting honorably, explaining that even for a house full of gold and silver he could not do anything against the Lord’s command. Note verse 18 – It is curious that Balaam, although not an Israelite, refers to the G-d of the Israelites as “my god” (ה’ אלקי).
We could speculate if Balaam invited the delegation to spend the night with the intention to see if he can get G-d to change his mind and allow him or order him to go (and be richly rewarded by Balak for his efforts). G-d appears to Balaam a second time in a dream and instructs him that now he should go with Balak’s emissaries, on condition that he only act and speak in accordance with G-d’s commands. From the wording in verse 20 (קום לך אתם) it is apparent that G-d commands Balaam to go, he is not merely given permission. It is interesting to read the orthodox Stone (ArtScroll) commentaries for the above. The ArtScroll commentators go into strange logical contortions to demonize Balaam.
Balaam appears to be doing what he was commanded by G-d to do (Verse 20 – קם לך אתם). So why is G-d angry with him? Could it be because he did not either appeal G-d’s decision or tell the emissaries that while G-d commanded him to go, he can only speak and act in accordance with G-d’s commands? Apparently, Balaam has no compunction or moral reservation against cursing the Israelites.
Balaam and the talking donkey (Verses 21 through 41)
Riding his donkey, Balaam has a weird misadventure, and he does not seem to be freaked out by having a conversation with an animal! Some rabbis, including Maimonides postulated that this whole comical incident was a vision.
As the angel who was blocking the donkey’s path enjoins Balaam to continue with his mission, what was the point of this encounter? Could it have been to give Balaam an opportunity to reconsider and to turn back?
The Torah is silent as to the reactions of Balak’s emissaries to this strange encounter.
Even upon reporting to Balak, Balaam appears to be truthful, reporting that he can only utter the words that G-d permits. We do not know Balak’s response. Perhaps he only heard what he wanted to hear.
Chapter 23 – Balaam fails Balak repeatedly (Verses 1 through 30)
Balak’s and Balaam’s series of misadventures is comical. Each time Balak builds sacrificial alters and Balaam winds up blessing Israel instead of fulfilling Balak’s wishes and cursing them.
Note Balaam’s prophesy in verse 23:9 “They are a people that dwells apart, not counted among the nations” (הן עם לבדד ישכן ובגוים לא יתחשב). This simple quote, reaffirming our role as a “chosen people” has reflected the Jewish experience through the ages for better or for worse. Do you believe that in modern times we should or must continue to bear what Plaut defines as “The burden of singularity”?
Recall the saying (falsely attributed to Einstein) that insanity is constantly doing the same thing but expecting different results. Balak does not learn from his failures and has Balaam repeat the task again and again, in different locations, always with the same disappointing (for him) results.
Chapter 24 – Balak dismisses Balaam, but Balaam has the last word (Verses 1 through 25)
Balaam, realizing that he will not be allowed by G-d to curse Israel, turned to face the wilderness. “The spirit of G-d came upon him” (ותהי עליו רוח אלקים) and he gave an extended praise in prose.
Note that verse 5 “How goodly are your tents Jacob, your dwellings Israel” (מה טבו אהליך יעקב משכנותיך ישראל) has been incorporated into the daily morning prayer service.
A frustrated Balak sends Balaam back from whence he came, without any reward. Balaam is probably in a dangerous place, facing an angry monarch. Still, he must have the last word, and, perhaps to rub salt into Balak’s wounds, gives him a prophesy of his own that must have been most unwelcome.
Chapter 25 – The Israelites again misbehave (Verses 1 through 9)
Once again, the people are misbehaving, this time with Moabite prostitutes. They even sacrificed to the Moabite gods. Oy! This will not end well. G-d invokes Moses to have the leaders executed.
As if this wasn’t enough, an Israelite brought a female Midianite companion into the camp to cohabit with her, and this in sight of Moses and the whole community. Was he doing this in an arrogant act of defiance? The Torah does not say.
Pinchas (פנחס), grandson of Aaron, kills both the (as yet unnamed) Israelite and his lady friend. This act of vigilante justice apparently assuages G-d’s anger, and the plague, after claiming 24,000 victims, is stopped. This will be the last plague unleashed by G-d as recorded in the Torah.
In next week’s parashah, Pinchas and his descendants will be rewarded by G-d with the priesthood for posterity.
The post A Look at Parashat Balak appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
In the evenings
I inhale
jazz piano
as my spiritual
practice, with
Jarrett, Monk
and Peterson
the teachers
who play a time-out
for heart and ego
as petty irritations
are deleted,
critical voices
stilled, and
in this twenty-
minute pause
where I am
silent, the music
enters my soul
and irons my life.
The post Meditation appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
As we journey through life, planning for the future often takes center stage. One critical yet frequently misunderstood aspect of this planning is Long Term Care (LTC) insurance. With the aging population growing and healthcare costs rising, understanding the realities of LTC insurance is more crucial than ever. Let’s dispel some common myths and uncover the facts about Long Term Care insurance.
Myth 1: “Medicare and Medicaid will cover all my Long Term Care needs.”Fact: This is one of the most pervasive myths about Long Term Care. While Medicare may cover short-term care such as rehabilitation after surgery or a brief hospital stay, it does not cover long-term custodial care. Medicaid, on the other hand, may cover long-term care, but it is means-tested. This means you must exhaust most of your assets before qualifying for coverage. Long Term Care insurance is designed to fill this gap, providing coverage for extended care in various settings, including your home, assisted living facilities, and nursing homes.
Myth 2: “Long Term Care insurance is only for the elderly.”Fact: Although it’s true that the need for Long Term Care increases with age, planning for it should begin much earlier. Purchasing a policy when you are younger and healthier can significantly lower your premiums. Moreover, unexpected events such as accidents or illnesses can result in the need for long-term care at any age. By securing a policy early, you can protect yourself against these unforeseen circumstances.
Myth 3: “I don’t need Long Term Care insurance because I have a strong family support system.”Fact: While it’s wonderful to have a supportive family, relying solely on them for long-term care can be unrealistic and burdensome. The physical, emotional, and financial strain of caregiving can be overwhelming. Long Term Care insurance provides professional care options, which can alleviate the pressure on family members and ensure you receive the best possible care without depleting your family’s resources.
Myth 4: “Long Term Care insurance is too expensive.”Fact: The cost of Long Term Care insurance can be a concern, but it’s important to weigh this against the potential costs of long-term care itself. The average annual cost of a private room in a nursing home can exceed $100,000, and these costs are only expected to rise. Investing in a Long Term Care policy can provide substantial financial protection and peace of mind.
Additionally, there are various policy options and features available, allowing you to tailor coverage to your budget and needs.
Myth 5: “I’ll never need Long Term Care.”Fact: Many people underestimate their risk of needing long-term care. Statistics show that about 70% of individuals over the age of 65 will require some form of long-term care services during their lifetime. Ignoring this possibility can lead to significant financial and emotional stress for you and your loved ones. Having a Long Term Care insurance policy ensures you are prepared for any eventuality.
Myth 6: “All Long Term Care insurance policies are the same.”Fact: Long Term Care insurance policies can vary widely in terms of coverage, benefits, and cost. It’s essential to thoroughly research and compare policies to find one that best suits your needs. Key factors to consider include the daily benefit amount, the benefit period, inflation protection, and the elimination period (the waiting period before benefits begin). Consulting with a knowledgeable insurance agent or financial advisor can help you navigate these options and make an informed decision.
ConclusionUnderstanding the facts about Long Term Care insurance is crucial for making informed decisions about your future. It’s not just about protecting your financial assets; it’s about ensuring you have the resources and support needed to maintain your dignity, independence, and quality of life as you age. By dispelling these common myths, we hope to empower you to consider Long Term Care insurance as a valuable component of your overall financial and healthcare planning.
For more information on Long Term Care insurance and other essential planning topics, please contact Mark at Tonoff Financial Services: mark@tonofffinancial.com or (609) 707-0094.
Remember, the best time to plan for tomorrow is today.
The post Demystifying Long Term Care Insurance: Myths and Facts appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Elissa Strauss discusses her new book, When You Care: The Unexpected Magic of Caring for Others.
In this “urgent and necessary book” (Rebecca Traister, New York Times bestselling author), journalist Elissa Strauss explores the powerful role caring for others plays in our individual and communal lives, weaving together research and stories from parents and caregivers with a feminist bent.
Behind our current caregiving crisis, in which a broken system has left parents and caregivers exhausted, sits a fierce addiction to independence. But what would happen if we started to appreciate dependency, and the deep meaning of one person caring for another? If we start to care about care?
With a curiosity and desire to understand more fully one of humanity’s most profound and essential relationships, journalist Elissa Strauss she interrogates our societal obsession with going it alone and poses a challenge to let ourselves be transformed by the act of caregiving. When You Care weaves historical anecdotes and science with conversations with parents and caregivers to the young, old, disabled, ill, and more, revealing a rich array of insights about how care shapes us on the inside and the outside, for the better.
Care is a long-ignored force in our collective and political lives, as well as a deeply philosophical, spiritual, and psychologically potent experience. Moreso, an embrace of care by both women and men will lead to a more gender equitable future and help us reimagine what it means to be productive and live a meaningful life. “A deeply researched—and deeply felt—exploration of the beautiful truth about care: that we find, feed, and know ourselves through our relationships” (Judith Warner, New York Times bestselling author).
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions.
Listen to the Audio PodcastYou can listen to the audio podcast version in the player below, or subscribe to the podcast in one of the popular platforms by clicking one of the buttons below the player.
- Apple Podcasts
- YouTube
- Spotify
- Podchaser
- Amazon Music About the GuestElissa StraussElissa Strauss has been writing about the politics and culture of parenting and caregiving for over fifteen years. Her work is featured in publications such as the Atlantic, the New York Times, Glamour, ELLE, TheWeek.com, and more. Previously, she contributed to CNN.com and Slate, where her cultural criticism about motherhood was showcased on DoubleX. Her book, When You Care: The Unexpected Magic of Caring for Others, is available from Gallery Books.
In addition to writing, Strauss is involved in curation and cultural programming. She holds the position of associate director of LABA: A Laboratory for Jewish Culture, a global artist incubator program that draws inspiration from ancient Jewish texts to foster new cultural creations and dialogues. She is also the artistic director of the LABA hub in the Bay Area and serves as the senior curator for the 2024 California Jewish Open at the Contemporary Jewish Museum in San Francisco.
Strauss resides in Oakland, California, with her husband and their two sons.
The post Seekers of Meaning 7/12/2024: Elissa Strauss, author of “When You Care,” book about caregiving appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
Parashat Chukat
פרשת חקת
במדברNumbers 19:1 to 22:1
Chapter 19 – The red heifer (verses 1 through 10)
Here we have the mysterious, even esoteric ritual law for sacrificing an unblemished red heifer (פרה אדמה תמימה). No explanation is given as to why this ritual is required. The Rabbis respond that it is referred to as a decree for which no explanation is required, and perhaps it is beyond human capacity to understand. Some Rabbis further speculated that the laws intentionally appear to be illogical to test Israel’s unconditional (read blind) obedience. This begs the question as to whether unconditional obedience is a positive thing?
The first century CE Rabbi Yochanan Ben Zakkai has explained “… the dead body does not defile and the waters of the red heifer do not purify. Rather, God says: I have ordained a decree, I have issued a statute, and you have no permission to transgress My decree”.
Note section verse 2 “Torah decree” or “Ritual Law” (חוקת התורה). This is a curious expression that only appears here and in Numbers chapter 31, verse 21 (פרשת מטות). In the Book of Psalms (תהלים), we learn that the meaning even escaped the wise King Solomon! Ref: Ecclesiastes (קהלת) 7:23
Purification after contact with a corpse (Verses 11 through 22)
Detailed instructions for cleansing oneself after being in contact with a corpse. For this issue, the Torah does not differentiate between a Jewish and non-Jewish corpse.
Note in verses 9 and 21 מי נדה, is translated as “water of lustration”, that is, used for purification rituals. Some commentators believe that the intent was ground water from a well, which would usually be less contaminated than surface water or standing water.
Chapter 20 – Death of Mirian; Moses strikes the stone (Verses 1 through 13)
As we will learn in the chronological retelling of the exodus (Numbers chapter 33, verse 38), now the story skips ahead from the second year of the exodus to the fortieth or final year. No mention is made as to what occurred during the intervening 38 years.
The death of Miriam is noted, but only in passing with a simple sentence (“Miriam died there and was buried there” – ותמות שם מרים ותקבר שם). There is no mention of a mourning period. Did she fall out of favor? We are not told. The next verse tells us that the community was again complaining to Moses and Ahron, this time about a lack of water. Some commentators suppose that water dried up as punishment for the fact that the community did not mourn the passing of Miriam. Alternatively, perhaps the immediate crisis of lack of life sustaining water overshadowed the death of one individual, even if she was the sister of Moses.
We know that in the intervening 38 years the generation that left Egypt (those over twenty at the time) have mostly died off. The new generation is still complaining about their conditions in the desert and even longing for an Egypt that they did not know. Still, being without water (especially in the desert) is a legitimate complaint! Additionally, after 40 years of schlepping through the wilderness, they come again almost to their starting point: The Waters of Meribah (מי מריבה). Imagine the scene when they realize that they were being led in a circle all of these hard years.
Moses is ordered by G-d to command the rock to give forth water. Requesting water from a rock?l This seems like a fool’s errand. Moses, in frustration, strikes the rock. Recall that previously (Exodus chapter 17 verse 5:5 – Beshlach), at Rephidim, in response to similar complaints, Moses was commanded by G-d to strike the rock. G-d takes umbrage at the fact that Moses did not have sufficient faith in him and so he will not have the privilege of leading the people into the promised land. Perhaps Moses was confused more than disobedient. Grief over the recent loss of his sister Miriam may have been a contributing factor. Some commentators, including Maimonides held that Moses’ sin was in losing his temper with the people, going as far as to call them “rebels” המרים) – Perhaps embittered is a better translation). Could this be his sin? Midrash holds that Moses’ sin was magnified in significance because it was committed in front of the assembled people. Keep in mind that he is 120 years old. Cut the guy some slack!!
Aaron was given the same punishment as Moses. What was Aaron’s sin in this sad incident? He was totally passive and played no role. Perhaps that was his sin; being passive when he should have been proactive, restraining Moses from contradicting G-d’s command and striking the rock.
At any rate, this punishment may seem to be out of proportion to the perceived minor offense (or was it a minor infraction – what do you think?). Alternatively, some commentators held that Moshe and Aaron are being punished for implying (verse 10) that they brought forth the water from the rock, not G-d. Perhaps more than a punishment, G-d understands from Moses’ actions that he is no longer at the top of his game and not up to the tasks and challenges that lie ahead. He needs to make way for the new generation and for Joshua to assume command.
Contact with the Edomites (Verses 14 through 21)
On their way northward to enter the promised land, the Israelites need to pass through the kinG-dom of Edom. The Edomites are kins of the Israelites, being descendants of Esau. Esau, perhaps understandably, held a grudge against his brother Jacob. It appeared that his descendants, centuries later, still harbor that grudge and refuse passage, even preparing for armed confrontation. The Israelites were not prepared to engage the Edomites militarily. We are not told the reason. Were they not prepared, did they hesitate to make war against kin, even estranged ones, or were they commanded by G-d to refrain? Once again, the Torah is silent.
Death of Aaron (Verses 22 through 29)
It is now time for Aaron to die, as he was also to be denied the privilege of entering the Land of Israel. Moses transfers Aaron’s vestments to Aaron’s oldest surviving son Eleazar. Aaron dies there, on Mount Hor. Unlike for his sister Miriam, the community grieves for thirty days as they soon will for Moses (at the end of Deuteronomy). Is it because a woman, even one of Miriam’s stature, is not given the same honor as a man? Perhaps the thirty-day grieving period is reserved only for leaders such as Moses and Aaron, and Miriam does not qualify.
Chapter 21 – War with Arad; plague of serpents (Verses 1 through 9)
Warfare here is no holds barred; the vanquished people and their cities are totally destroyed.
The people are again kvetching and G-d sends serpents to infest the people. Some commentators have noted that this is the first time it is noted in the Torah that the people admit to their sins. Could it be that this new generation that was not raised in slavery begin to take on personal responsibility? In response, Moses ends the plague by crafting a copper serpent mounted on a staff. By gazing at this (נחושתן), a bitten person was cured. This is troubling as it appears to be a kind of idolatry, forbidden to the Israelites. The symbol did have cultic significance. For that reason, the 8th century BCE reformist king Hezekiah ordered them destroyed (II Kings 18:4). The symbol is still widely used to symbolize medical treatment or pharmacies. Today, the IDF Medical Corps uses this symbol.
Israelites military campaign (Verses 10 through Chapter 22, verse 1)
Note the reference in verse 14 to “Book of the Wars of the Lord” (ספר מלחמות ה’). This may refer to an actual text that was lost to history. I bet that you did not know that the Torah may have had a bibliography! Some scholars and Rabbinic authorities believe that this “book” does not refer to an external work but to a section in the Torah itself.
As did the King of Edom, the King of the Amorites refused passage. While the Israelites refrained from fighting their kin, the Edomites, this time, rather than engage in a long detour, they engaged in fighting the Amorites and they prevailed.
Note reference in verse 27 to משלים, probably best translated as itinerant bards or poets. They may have been the biblical equivalent of the medieval troubadours, spreading news and gossip from town to town through memorized prose.
This series of military campaigns ends with the Israelites camped in the planes of Moab, across the Jordan River from Jericho.
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On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, author Rusty Rosman discusses her book, Two Envelopes: What You Want Your Loved Ones To Know When You Die.
When you die, there are so many things your family and loved ones immediately need to know. Two Envelopes is your voice, conveying your wishes regarding your death and your estate.
With a unique blend of wisdom, humor and empathetic storytelling, Rusty Rosman delves into the often-avoided topic of death, offering readers a guide to navigate the complexities of both practical and emotional aspects of end-of-life planning. Rusty’s wisdom and heartfelt way of guiding her readers make this book unique among the other end-of-life planning workbooks available online.
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions.
Listen to the Audio PodcastYou can listen to the audio podcast version in the player below, or subscribe to the podcast in one of the popular platforms by clicking one of the buttons below the player.
- Apple Podcasts
- YouTube
- Spotify
- Podchaser
- Amazon Music About the GuestRusty RosmanRusty Rosman is a former teacher and commercial real estate broker. Rusty has served as president and fundraiser for several nonprofit community organizations. In her community where she has lived her entire life, Rusty is a member of the Zoning Board of Appeals and the Property Tax Board. Rusty and her husband Stephen are the very proud parents of two adult children and grandparents to six grandchildren.
The post Seekers of Meaning 7/5/2024: Rusty Rosman, author of “Two Envelopes” Book on End of Life Planning appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
Parashat Korah
פרשת קרח
במדבר Numbers 16:1 to 18:32
This week’s parashah, coming on the heels of the incident of the twelve scouts and the consequences, describes the first serious challenge to the hegemony of Moses and Aaron. It may have been fueled by the people’s resentment upon learning that they will die in the wilderness rather than either return to Egypt or enter the promised land.
Chapter 16 – Korah’s rebellion (Verses 1 through 15)
Korah is not a Kohen but subordinate to them like the rest of the Levites. He instigates a rebellion and carries along with him 250 prominent members of the community. From this we know that this was not a rebellion of rabble rousers. He does not deny the authority of G-d but does call into question the authority of Moses and of Aaron, with a hint of an accusation of nepotism. Note that Korah’s three ringleaders, Dathan, Aviram, and On are all members of the tribe of Reuven (so perhaps, being descended from Jacob’s firstborn son, they may feel that they should also have a privileged position, not just the Levites).
Korah may have had reasonable and justifiable grievances that could have been addressed peacefully. After all, what is so terrible about stating (verse 3) “All the community is holy, all of them, and G-d is in their midst” (כל העדה כלם קדשים ובתוכם ה’)? Basically, he was preaching equality among the Israelites regardless of tribal affiliation. However, they verbally attacked Moses and Aaron publicly (continuation of same verse) “… why do you raise yourselves above G-d’s congregation” (ומדוע תתנשאו על קהל ה’ …) Korah’s sin may have been that by publicly broadcasting his grievances instead of requesting a private audience, he showed that he had no interest in working with Moses to facilitate beneficial change for the people. Korah most probably was motivated by self-interest, wanting to bring Moses down and put himself in his place. In reaction, Moses fell on his face (ויפל על הפנים) and rather than attempt to reason or negotiate with this group, he called on G-d to sort things out and show who is boss. “Fell on his face” may be interpreted in contemporary speech as “threw up his hands” or alternatively, a form of prayer or supplication.
Note the response of Dathan and Aviram. They refuse to be subservient to Moses and do not come when summoned. Only one year removed from servitude in Egypt, they already have forgotten the indignities and hardships that they have been subject too, and they long for a “return” to an imaginary Egypt, one flowing with milk and honey, that only existed in their imaginations. If I may be permitted a political statement, this may be a distant mirror to our own time, where a large underbelly of discontented Americans was, and still is drawn under the spell of a master huckster vowing to “Make America Great Again” and return us to the idyllic past of Mayberry and “Leave It To Beaver” that of course never existed.
Plaut notes that biblical scholars see this section as a merger of two traditions, one a rebellion lead by Korah against the appointment of Aaron and his descendants as having a lock on the position of Priests (nepotism?) and a second rebellion led by Dathan and Aviram against Moses’ leadership.
Moses summons Korah and his followers (Verses 16 through 27)
Moses told Korah to gather his followers, each to bring his fire pan and incense before the tent of meeting to present before G-d.
Again, G-d’s impulse is to wipe out the entire community, save Moses and Aaron. Again, G-d’s anger is assuaged (not clear from the text if only Moses speaks, or both Moses and Aaron) appealing to G-d not to wipe out the innocent along with the guilty. G-d relents, and commands Moses to warn the community to withdraw from the tents of the ringleaders and to distance themselves from even the possessions of the ringleaders of the rebellion.
Moses asserts his authority (Verses 28 through 35)
Moses, to assert the validity of his authority, declares that if the conspirators are left to go on with their lives, or die a natural death, then he is not in command. If the earth swallows Korah and his followers, and even their households and possessions, then that is a sign that they have rejected G-d, and by implication, Moses is still the leader. Was this a challenge by Moses to G-d to show unequivocally who is in command? If so, apparently, Moses is not so humble after all!
The earth accordingly opened and swallowed the ringleaders, with fire consuming the 250 followers (but does not mention the fate of Korah himself). We shall read in Parashat Pinchas (Numbers, chapter 26 verse 11) that the sons of Korach did not die. No explanation is given.
Recall earlier (Numbers, chapter 12) that when Aaron and Miriam challenged Moses’ authority, they were not zapped. Miriam got off relatively easy, with no lasting harm done, and Aaron got off scot-free (at least physically). How does that reconcile with the punishment of Korah and his followers? Of course, Aaron and Miriam were not attempting to provoke a rebellion. This was more of a “family spat”.
Note the reference to sheol (שאול). This appears occasionally in the Torah and is a vague reference to the final abode of people after they have died. There is no real description of sheol or a promise of an afterlife in the Torah or even in the rest of the Tanakh (Hebrew Bible). The development of concepts of the world to come (עולם הבא) as well as ideas about heaven, purgatory, or hell or a messianic age will have to wait for the development of the Talmud. There was possibly influence from the early Christian church or eastern religions such as Zoroastrianism.
Chapter 17 – The people are in revolt (Verses 1 through 15)
G-d instructs Moses that Aaron should recover the fire pans that were prepared by the followers of Korah and have them hammered into sheets to plate the altar. Thus, they will serve as a warning that nobody who is not a descendent of Aaron (that is, anybody that is not a priest) could offer incense to G-d. This is on pain of death.
Next day, the whole people rail against Moses and Aaron, accusing them of causing the death of Korah and his followers. Moses and Aaron retreat to the Tent of Meeting. Again, G-d wants to destroy the people, save Moses and Aaron. After falling on his face, Moses apparently recovers and instructs Aaron to take a fire pan, with fire from the altar and make expiation. Unfortunately, a plague has already begun, and Aaron was only able to check the plague after 14,700 deaths. We do not know if the victims of the plague were all active agitators or if innocent bystanders were caught up in it. A midrash has Aaron standing between the dead and the living, physically restraining the Angel of Death.
G-d affirms Aaron’s position (Verses 16 through 28)
G-d wants to end the incessant gripping about Aaron’s appointed position. Hence, Aaron’s staff, and his alone sprouts blossoms and almonds. The Israelites are left in fear that if they approach the tabernacle they will die.
Chapter 18 – G-d assigns the duties of the priests and of the Levites (Verses 1 through 11)
Aaron and his male descendants (sorry, ladies) shall be held fully and solely responsible for what happens in the sanctuary. While the House of Aaron (the priests or Cohanim) have the ceremonial duties, the rest of the tribe of Levy shall be assigned to do the manual labor at the Tent of Meeting. Any outsider who dares to encroach shall be killed.
The offerings and sacrifices shall belong to the administering priests. Females may partake of heave (wave) offerings, all others are exclusively to be consumed by males.
Tithings for the Priests (Verses 12 through 20)
Description of the tithings that are to be taken by the priests for their use and consumption: new oil, wine, and grain. First born of man or unclean animals shall be redeemed after one month for five shekels. From this is derived the orthodox ceremony of Pidyon HaBen (פדיון הבן). Offerings of clean (cattle, sheep, or goats; that is, kosher) animals are not to be redeemed. They must be sacrificed at the altar, with the meat consumed by the priests.
This position is reserved for Aaron and his descendants for all time. In return, they are to have no territorial share in the promised land.
Reform Jewish congregations have, for the most part, abandoned the recognition of the privileged position of Levites and Cohanim. Similarly, they forgo the Pidyon HaBen ceremony.
Tithings for the Levites (Verses 21 through 32)
The Levites are to perform (as yet undefined) services at the Tent of Meeting. Just as for the Priests, they will not have a territorial share but will collect tithes from the Israelites., with one tenth (the choice parts) to be in turn their tithe to the priests (“gifts for G-d”).
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On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Dr. Judith Smith discusses her new book, Difficult: Mothering Difficult Adult Children Through Conflict and Change.
Difficult brings to life the conflicts that arise for mothers who are confronted with the unexpected, burdensome, and even catastrophic dependencies of their adult children associated with mental illness, substance use, or chronic unemployment. Through real stories of mothers and their challenging adult children, this book offers relatable, provocative, and, at times, shocking illustrations of the excruciating maternal dilemma: Which takes precedence—the needs of the mother or of the distressed adult child?
With guidance for finding social support, staying safe, engaging in self-care, and helping the adult child, Difficult is a compassionate resource for those living in a family situation which too many keep secret and allows readers to see that they are not alone.
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions.
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- Amazon Music About the GuestJudith R. Smith, Ph.D., LCSWJudith R. Smith, Ph.D., LCSW, is a NYC based psychotherapist, professor, and researcher on women’s issues as they age. She is a professor, Emerita, at Fordham University. She offers support groups on-line for mothers with difficult adult children. Her book, Difficult: Mothering Challenging Adult Children through Conflict and Change, is based on a three-year research project, and brings to life the stories of fifty women, each over sixty years old, whose lives were drastically altered by becoming the default safety net for their adult “kids.” To learn more, please visit: https://www.difficultmothering.com
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פרשת שלח לך
במדבר Numbers 13:1 to 15:41Chapter 13 – Dispatching the twelve scouts (Verses 1 through 20)
Shelach Lecha – note comparison to “Lech Lecha” (Genesis)
Rabbis and commentators have long debated if this means “You (Moses) should send (for your information and reassurance) or “Okay, if you really need to, you could send them”. As we will see in Deuteronomy (chapter 1, verse 22), Moses will claim, or perhaps accuse the Israelites of insisting that he send scouts (לתור is better translated as “to scout” rather than “to spy”) and he merely complied with their wishes.
Remember that in the previous parashah, we saw that Moses appeared faltering and is no longer at the top of his game.
Into the second year of the Exodus, Israel was poised for the military Invasion of, and the occupation of Canaan. As a first step, twelve scouts (one from each tribe) were to be sent out to learn the layout of the land, and the strengths and weaknesses of the inhabitants.
Why does Moses even need to dispatch scouts when G-d is in charge? The message may be that even though one prays for G-d’s help and guidance, and perhaps miracles, we must not rely on divine assistance or intervention, and make maximum preparations and take maximum precautions. Curiously, while he does charge the scouts to report if the towns are fortified, the rest of Moses’ instructions deal with the nature and productivity of the land, essentially a “real estate report”, not the information that a military tactician would need to plan a campaign.
Are the people ready for the task before them and the challenges that lie ahead?
The scouts report their findings (Verses 21 through 33)
The scouts’ report was probably objective and quite sobering. The physical descriptions of a land of “milk and honey” and the size of the cities and fortifications, etc. may have been part of a reasonably objective scouting report that should warn of difficulties to be expected and planned for. Caleb appears to be irresponsible or reckless, promising a “cake walk” against a formidable foe. Sadly, aside from Joshua and Caleb, the remaining ten scouts let their fears and lack of faith get the better of them and went beyond objectivity into the realm of hyperbole when they spoke of a land that devours its settlers and the great size of the inhabitants (“We looked like grasshoppers”). They succeeded in spreading panic and fear among the Israelites who listened to their reports. Still, we must cut them some slack! They were recently released from slavery, and their positions, the lowly of the low, must have left considerable scars and traumas, and certainly low self-images.
Each of the scouts is described as being a leader in his respective tribe (כל נשיא בהם). Is it possible that they intentionally wanted to panic the people so that they would insist on returning to Egypt so they can maintain their positions and authority, whatever that is, under slavery?
Curiously, the Rabbis of the Talmud (Megillah 23B) credit the unanimity of these ten scouts as one of the reasons why a minyan is composed of ten men.
Plaut noted that the reference to “giants” in 13:22 (ילדי הענק) is possibly a mistranslation, meaning “long necks”. What should we understand about the giant fruit (13:23)?
Chapter 14 – The Israelites are disheartened (Verses 1 through 10)
Once again, faced with the present hardships, the Israelites long for Egypt and are on the verge of rebellion once again.
Note verse 5: Moses and Aaron “fell on their faces” (ויפול משה ואהרון על פניהם). Is this a colloquial expression equivalent to the contemporary “threw up their hands” (הרימו את ידיהם), that is, abrogated leadership? Another interpretation (that I do not subscribe to) is that at the time this was the method to pray for help and guidance in a trying situation. This expression has made its way into contemporary Hebrew slang. על הפנים (on the face) is used to describe somebody (or an organization) that finds itself in a bad situation.
Were the Israelites right to be fearful and intimidated or discouraged as to their chances of conquering and occupying the land?
Moses mollifies G-d’s wrath (Verses 11 through 19)
As in the story of the flood, G-d, seeing that the people did not measure up to his expectations, wants to destroy most of them. Moses mollifies G-d’s wrath; not appealing to His Mercy, but to His ego, using a technique worthy of Dale Carnegie. He said in effect “What will the goyim think? You will lose your street cred.”
Verse:18: Here Moses partially quotes G-d’s own words (See Exodus chapter 34, verses 6 and 7 – after the incident of the golden calf) in order to remind G-d of his self-proclaimed attributes – “Slow to anger and abiding in kindness, forgiving iniquity and transgression …”). This was Moses’ method to plead that He act accordingly with the Israelites. Verse 18 continues – “… visiting the iniquity of fathers upon children, upon the third and fourth generation”. Do the children and descendants bear the blame for the iniquities of their forefathers or can עון better be translated as responsibility, that is, warning their descendants to monitor their actions knowing what their forefathers were capable of committing (think of present-day Germans or Japanese)? Note that verse 19 and the following verse 20 have been incorporated into the Yom Kippur liturgy, following the Kol Nidre supplication.
The Israelites are condemned to wander (Verses 20 through 35)
G-d is only partly mollified. He does not destroy the people but condemns them to wander forty years through the desert recall that the scouts’ mission lasted forty days – One year of wandering for each day of the mission) until the entire generation that knew slavery in Egypt, at least all those over the age of twenty (with the exception of Joshua and Caleb) die out.
Later Midrashim postulate that the date of the Israelites loss of faith is pegged at Tisha Be’Av. This date on the Hebrew calendar, by tradition would be marked as a day that great tragedies would befall the Jewish people, such as the destruction of both Temples, the expulsion from Spain, etc.
Note in verse 24 that Caleb will be rewarded for his faithfulness. Joshua’s name is omitted. Why?
The ten scouts meet their fate (Verses 36 through 45)
The ten scouts who caused the despair in the camp died in a plague.
The people could only succeed in conquest when they had the support of G-d. After admitting that they were wrong, they went off on their own initiative, and against Moses’ warning, to attack the Amalekites and the Canaanites. As G-d was not with them, they were soundly defeated.
The idea of the forcible conquest of the land and destruction or exile of the inhabitants grates against our modern sensitivities. The morality of the act is never raised in the Torah. Warfare is seen as a natural aspect of life and the natural way of migrating peoples. G-d does not reveal his reaso ns for allowing the conquest of Canaan.
With that, the occupation of the land was seen as a moral trust. When Israel proved unworthy, they were conquered and expelled. While G-d may have granted the land to Israel, it is up to them to prove worthy to continue to inhabit it. Failing that, in exile, Israel must prove worthy of the right of return. Present day extremist sects such as Naturi Karta use these verses to justify their rejectionist theology that the establishment of the modern-day State of Israel is against the will of G-d.
Chapter 15 – Ceremonial offering upon entering the land (Verses 1 through 13)
Detailed instructions for the ceremony of a burnt offering upon entering the land. Begs the question as to why this detailed instruction when the adults were just informed that they will die out in the desert and not enter the land? Isn’t this rubbing salt into an open wound? Alternatively, perhaps it was a way of consoling the generation that left Egypt. While they will not merit entrance into the promised land, they are secure in the knowledge that their children will have the opportunity that was denied them.
Burnt offering presented by a resident alien (Verses 14 through 16)
The Torah now deals with the laws of sacrifice as they would pertain to a permanent resident who is not an Israelite. Once again the Torah stresses that there is but one law, both for Israelites and for the resident alien (גר). Some traditional texts translate גר as a convert.
Setting aside a portion of the bread for the priests (Verses 17 through 21)
When baking, a portion of the bread (“challah”) is set aside for the priests. Kosher bakeries preserve this tradition by removing a portion of the unbaked dough and burning it (הפרשת חלה כדין). This custom is preserved not just in Israel but also in the diaspora.
Inadvertent and intentional inobservance and consequences (Verses 22 through 36)
The law differentiates between unintentional failure to observe a commandment and intentional lapse. The former, whether committed by an individual or by the community as a whole may be forgiven by way of a sacrificial ceremony. The later needs to be punished, sometimes severely , as we now see.
While gathering firewood on Sabbath is a clear violation of the law, why is the punishment so severe – death by stoning. There is no consideration as to whether there may be mitigating circumstances. Although, from the context, it is unlikely that the unfortunate fellow may have forgotten that it was Sabbath.
The fringed inner garment (Verses 37 through 41)
Origins of the fringed inner garment (tzitzit – ציצית ) codified in the Shulchan Aruch (שולחן ערוך). From verse 39 (“That shall be your fringe, look at it …”) the rabbis of the Shulchan Aruch interpreted that the fringes must be externally visible and not tucked in. This ruling also applies to the prayer shawl or tallit (טלית). Also, later day Rabbis decreed that the tallit should be worn during the morning (Shacharit) service but not requisite for the evening (Maariv) service. An exception is the Yom Kippur Kol Nidre service, which begins shortly before dusk.
A single thread of blue or azure color (פתיל תכלת) should be attached to each corner of the garment. The Talmud explains that this color thread is to remind us of the sky, where presumably G-d’s throne lies. Both the tzitzit and the tallit are intended to serve as a reminder of our role as Israelites and perhaps also as an external sign to society at large as to who we are.
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When I hear immigrant stories about your relatives, my relatives, my Jewish neighbors and friends relatives who came over on the boat, I picture them ALL together on one boat! Huddled together, scared together, hungry together, hot/cold together, sick together. Sharing their stories, their pains, and dreams for new opportunities. They had little space for privacy. Little space for being alone in their thoughts. So all that was left was to share their stories with whomever would listen. By the time they got to Ellis Island, they knew everything about their fellow passengers. They were family, mishpacha.
Hence, why Jewish geography is a real thing?
Can you picture in your mind the last scene in Yentel with all the immigrants bunched together trying to make the best of a crowded and difficult journey, with hopes for a better life? And can you envision yourself sitting at the Thanksgiving table in the movie Avalon, where they never let anyone forget what they went through to get to America?
I see scenes of shared experiences.
I see scenes of collective expressions of hardships and losses.
I see scenes of hopes and prayers for a freer future.
And I see scenes of the elders saying to the young ones, “Never forget! History has a way of repeating itself if we forget the past!”
Shakespeare comes to mind with, “Whereof what’s past is prologue.” The past may just be what it is, our past. But because the future is still to be written, maybe starting at the past to understand and evaluate circumstances and choices, can help to bring the future into clarity with the past as our greatest teacher, and actually be the beginning.
So what is our takeaway from what our relatives suffered through?
For me, it’s legacy.
One of the ancestry websites has recently offered to help find out why you’re a great dancer, why learning languages comes easy to you, why you like raspberries more than strawberries. Learning about our ancestors gives more insight into who we are, why we are. I believe that nothing in life is random, everything happens for a reason/purpose. I would hope that purpose is to educate and learn from.
My Grandfather, Pa to everyone, was a defeated man before he even got to America. After being run out of the Ukraine by the Bolsheviks, twenty family members had to travel to Warsaw where they lived for several years before they could get to Le Harve, France, to board a ship. The money sent from a Chicago relative for the passage never appeared at the Warsaw post office. Much time went by until one day, the heroic and generous Chicago uncle appeared in Warsaw after making the crossing, only to find the postal workers had stolen the money. Once reimbursed, the entire family found their way to Le Harve for their voyage to freedom.
Finally upon boarding, Pa was turned away because of either pink eye or athlete’s foot, family members are still arguing the real cause. He had to stay in France while my Bubbie went with the family to America, as she was pregnant. They all decided the child should be born in the United States. After a treacherous crossing that made Bubbie very sick, and before arriving at Ellis Island, she gave birth. Doctors advised her and the child not to travel so they were put in two different New York hospitals while the family went on to Chicago, where within weeks, Pa’s father died. And several weeks later, Bubbie and Pa’s baby died.
After six weeks of recuperating, my brave and courageous Bubbie then chose to sail back to France instead of going on to Chicago, so she could be with her husband while he continually applied for his visa. Ultimately, on July 1, 1923, 101 years ago to almost the day I’m writing this!, my Grandparents boarded The France, a French built ship, with over 2000 people on board. After years of enduring the adversity of running, they arrived at Ellis Island on July 23, 1923. They both separately once told me, “The best years of our marriage were the two years in Paris.”
Their difficulties in life didn’t become the be-all-end-all once in the United States. They lost several more children, WWll took a toll on making a living so they left Chicago and moved on to Los Angeles. My Grandfather became quiet, angry and depleted from trying to support his family, though they always got by. What I saw was a man who felt the responsibility of his mother and siblings when his father died, seeing himself as a “Jack-of-all-trades” with no great successes. I believe he always felt like a foreigner in a new land, like he never fit anywhere. He wavered between Yiddish, Russian and English. The only passions I remember him having was playing pinnacle, watching boxing on TV and going to the schvitz baths on Friday nights!
He and Bubbie had little in common. She was an educated girl from the Ukraine because of a wealthy grandfather (a rabbi and merchant) who raised her. Pa was bigger than her five feet, he could shrey (yell) louder than anyone, so she learned how to handle him with kid gloves. She cooked his favorite foods, had them on the table before he walked into the kitchen and avoided arguments for the sake of the children.
My Bubbie is my hero. She raised me and my brothers after our parents were killed in a car accident. Even though my Grandparents lived in our house, by then Pa was an empty soul. He and my youngest brother bonded in a relationship that was not shared with anyone else. The innocence of childhood. I am grateful that they both had each other.
The one story that is a classic about Pa is the day he found a Rolling Stone magazine in my brother’s room! He ranted and raved that a young teen should not be exposed to such “schmutz!” (dirt). At the time, he worked very hard by driving up and down the California coast, in his packed truck, selling different tchotchkies, bolts of material, and his best seller, “An outdoor water statue of Jesus!” Oy, how he bragged about how much money he made off of Jesus! On his next trip north while in San Francisco, my Grandfather bulldozed himself into the offices of Rolling Stone, and in part English, Yiddish and Russian, he gave them a piece of his mind! OMG!
I felt compelled to write about my Grandfather because it feels as though his story isn’t important in the family narrative. He surely was not a bad man, he just got lost in the journey to what he had hoped would be a better life for a large family. Without him, there certainly would not have been his three children, his seven grandchildren, his six great grandchildren and his three great, great grandchildren. Though most of his off-spring never knew him, he gave us all life in America with opportunities that are being fulfilled and most likely with little gratitude to the man we called, “Pa.”
This is a complicated legacy for my family, while I’m sure not too different than many immigrant families. For me, what’s most important is to tell your family’s journey, as everyone has a story to share and let younger people know that their privilege was hard to come by from those who sacrificed much more than any of us can imagine. I recommend sitting together and watching the wonderful movies that tell our Jewish journey, that then can open the dialogue to your mishpacha’s history before they disappear.
We have volumes of shared experiences about our Jewish family members who have suffered deprivations to make life better for the generations to come. And sadly, a narrative that continues in 2024 so we MUST let the children know, “We Must Not Forget!”
“Whereof what’s past is prologue!”
Movies to help educate! Fiddler on the Roof, Shindler’s List, An American Tale, Yentl, Exodus, The Jazz Singer, Avalon, Crossing Delaney, Brighton Beach Memoirs, Life is Beautiful, The Pianist, The Fabelmans, The Boy in the Striped Pajamas, The Frisco Kid, The Chosen
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On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, David Zinner, the co-founder and board chair of the Jewish Association for Death Education (JADE) discussed JADE’s interactive web educational tool on Jewish practices and rituals related to death and end-of-life care.
JADE works with the entire Jewish community, affiliated and unaffiliated, large cities and small towns, to provide education and information directly to the ultimate consumer and to those who provide services to them. JADE seeks to identify, and provide resources, to provide information in a way that is personal, sensitive, and meaningful, incorporating traditional Jewish practices in contemporary contexts.
JADE offers spiritual and educational resources to help people understand the rites, rituals, and processes surrounding death. We aim to fill a major void by providing a centralized resource for all the different elements of death and to help death become a mainstream conversation. JADE also provides ongoing education and training for individuals and other organizations that deal with end-of-life issues and bereavement.
Ultimately, JADE’s services aim to comfort families and help them make informed choices during the difficult time of losing a loved one.
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions.
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- Amazon Music About the GuestDavid Zinner, co-founder of the Jewish Association for Death Education (JADE)David ZinnerDavid Zinner is the founder and recently retired Executive Director of Kavod v’Nichum, (Honor and Comfort), which has worked to restore to Jewish death and bereavement practice, the traditions and values of kavod hamet (honoring the dead) and nichum avelim (comforting the bereaved) since 2000. He is also the co-founder of the Gamliel Institute, a center for leadership training and advocacy of traditional Jewish practice in the continuum of care at the end of life since 2010.
His 20 years of work for Kavod v’Nichum included traveling around the country conducting chevrah kadisha trainings for local chevrot, coordinating the Chevrah Kadisha Conference, a conference dedicated to sharing knowledge about Jewish end of life practices, and managing the jewish-funerals.org website, a website which includes hundreds of pages of resources on Jewish end of life practices.
David’s newest project – PRINCE – Preservation and Restoration Initiative for Neglected Cemetery Entities matches cemeteries that need labor with prisoners eligible for work release.
As co-Vice-President of the Jewish Funeral Practices Committee of Greater Washington, David participates in developing citywide contracts with funeral homes. He is a consumer representative on the State of Maryland’s Advisory Council on Cemetery Operations. He was the Executive Director of Tifereth Israel Congregation, a conservative synagogue in Washington, DC for 10 years.
David is a past president, choir member, succah building coordinator and Chevra Kadisha Chair at the Columbia Jewish Congregation and a bike leader for Cycle to Health, a Howard County sponsored senior cycling group, and a chief election judge in Howard County Maryland.
David received a bachelor’s degree from Washington University in St. Louis, MO , with a major in non-profit management.
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פרשת בהעלתך
במדבר Numbers 8:1 to 12:16
Chapter 8 – The seven branched menorah (Verses 1 through 8)
Introduction to the seven-branched Menorah. Note this is the historical symbol of the Jews and is the official seal of the State of Israel. The six-pointed Magen David is never mentioned either in the Bible or in the Talmud, and only came into usage centuries later.
The role of the Levites (Verses 9 through 26)
The role of the Levites in attending to and serving the Cohanim in the Temple service is described. This tradition survives (symbolically) to this day in traditional Judaism. Levites help them to prepare to give the priestly blessings. During Torah readings, Cohanim have the honor of the first Aliyah to the Torah. Levites have the honor of the second Aliyah.
Levites are accepted by G-d as a symbolic substitute for the firstborn Israelite males that escaped the tenth plague. As such, they serve the priests (Cohanim).
Curiously, verse 24 notes the age for Levites to start to serve as 25. In the previous parashah (chapter 4, verses 3, 23, and 30), the starting age was set at 30. Any Idea why the apparent contradiction? Commentators attempting to resolve the matter have surmised that the years from twenty-five to thirty may be an apprenticeship period. If so, what were their duties before the age of twenty-five?
Chapter 9 – Accommodation for “Second Passover” (Verses 1 through 14)
This chapter pens opens on the first month of the second year following the exodus from Egypt. Previously, Numbers (Chapter 1, verse 1) began on “The first day of the second month in the second year”. This is not the only section where the sequence of the biblical narrative is called into question. The Rabbis grappled with this difficulty in interpretation, and some came up with the rationale that “there is not before or after in the Torah” (אין מוקדם ומאוחר בתורה). That is, the story line in the Torah may not always be in chronological order.
The Israelites asked Moses whether anybody who is not able to do the mitzvah at the appointed time, can be afforded a second chance?
G-d’s response was there may be a second chance to perform the Passover mitzvah, but only if physically prevented from performing it on the proper day, not if it was merely inconvenient or one had a “scheduling conflict”. Note at that time, the performance of the Passover sacrifice entailed a pilgrimage to Jerusalem, an arduous journey that was not always feasible. The custom of “second chance” fell out of use with the destruction of the Second Temple and Passover ceasing to be a pilgrimage festival. Some communities do continue to mark a “Second Passover” one month after Passover (14th day of Iyar).
There is no provision in the Torah for a “second chance” for the other two pilgrimage festivals or for any other observance for that matter.
Setting up and breaking camp (Verses 15 through 23)
Setting up camp and breaking camp were to be in accordance with a cloud covering the tabernacle, and the cloud lifting, respectively. No explanation or reasons are given as to why camp is set up or broken other than the lifting of the cloud cover that is out of the Israelites’ control. Perhaps the purpose was to install military discipline and respect for higher authority in the rabble.
Chapter 10 – Assembly and movement of the camp (Verses 1 through 10)
Here G-d gives Moses instructions for the orderly assembly and movement of the camp in accordance with trumpet blasts. Trumpet blasts are also to be used during warfare and religious occasions.
Movement of the camp (Verses 11 through 36)
Orderly movement of the camp; military-like precision.
Note here the different names of Moses’ father-in-law, either Hovav (חבב) or Reuel (רעואל). In previous chapters, his name was Jethro (יתרו). No explanation is given for the differences. Were these “nicknames” or terms of endearment?
We are not told if Jethro listened to Moses’ entreaties to remain with the Israelites or if he returned home to Median. As it is clear that G-d will be leading the Israelites on every step of the journey, including when and where to camp, why is Moses so intent on retaining Jethro’s guidance? One interpretation is that we must not rely on miracles or divine guidance but take personal responsibilities and practical precautions as if everything depends on us.
Note the Inverted nuns (נ) bracketing verses 35 and 36. The rabbis go into contortions to explain them. Some commentators, including Yehuda HaNasi (יהודה הנשיא) understood these bracketed verses to be a separate book of the Torah, thus splitting the book of Numbers into three distinct books. Verse 35 (ויהי בנסע הארן ויאמר משה קומה ה’ ויפצו איביך וינסו משנאיך מפניך) was added to the Torah reading ceremony centuries after the Talmudic period.
I find it unsettling that Moses presumes to give G-d a command to go forth (קומה ה’) especially when further on (chapter 12, verse 3). Moses is declared to be the humblest of men. Perhaps what we now see as imperative tense may have been more a figure of speech back then.
Chapter 11 – The rabble complains; Moses gets assistance (Verses 1 through 17)
People, in this case, the rabble or riffraff (אספסוף) are once again kvetching, having forgotten the evil (slavery) and only remembering the good (real or imaginary) back in Egypt. The people were taken out of Egypt, but Egypt was not taken out of the people! Of course, change is always difficult, even when leaving behind a bad situation. And setting forth into an unknown wilderness must be both disorienting and terrifying. Possibly, not addressing the complaints of the rabble was a failure of leadership on the part of Moses as we see that the discontent spread like wildfire to the whole of the people.
Moses is worn out and so G-d appoints seventy elders (זקני ישראל) to share the burden of leadership with Moses. No explanation is given for why the number 70 was chosen or who these elders were or the method of choosing them. The concept of seventy elders apparently dates to the time in Egypt as they are referenced briefly three times in the book of Exodus (שמות): Chapter 3 verse 16, chapter 4 verse 29, and chapter 24 verse 1. This is the source of the seventy member Sanhedrin that governed Israel during the second temple period and continued after its destruction and into the third century of the common era when circumstances caused it to be disbanded.
Moses is worn out; the rabble get their comeuppance (Verses 18 through 35)
A weary Moses here starts to question G-d’s capabilities. G-d appears to begin losing patience with Moses. When Eldad and Medad remained in the camp and spoke “prophesies” (I believe that the JPS translation ofמתנבאים (verse 26) as “ecstasy” to be mistaken), Joshua wants them restrained, possibly seeing their behavior as a threat to Moses’ leadership position, maybe even leading to revolt. No explanation is given as to the nature of or reason for their prophesies. Moses, however, does not see them as a threat, in fact he looks upon them favorably and remarks to Joshua “Would that all G-d’s people were prophets”.
See what gluttony gets you! What was really troubling the people? They were not actually hungry, only bored with the monotonous diet. Idleness was probably taking its toll. After all, they were used to dawn to dusk hard work in Egypt. Was such a severe punishment really warranted? Was not their request for a more varied menu reasonable? Wouldn’t a reprimand be sufficient under the circumstances?
Chapter 12 – Miriam and Aaron challenge Moses (Verses 1 through 16)
Moses, while still the leader, is tired and appears to be no longer at the top of his game. Even Miriam and Aaron are infected with pettiness. G-d finds need to read them the riot act. Moses, even with capacities somewhat diminished with age, remains in a special relationship with G-d that no other prophet, not even Aaron or Miriam can aspire to.
Where did the Cushite woman come from? Did Moses have a second wife in addition to Zipporah the Midianite? The commentators differ on interpretation. This is the only reference to “The Cushite” or the land of Cush in the Torah. There are further references in the rest of the Tanakh. The Queen of Sheba came from Cush, generally assumed to be Ethiopia. In this case, was Cushite another name for Zipporah, or did Moses take on a second wife? Did Zipporah perhaps go back home with Jethro, leaving Moses to remarry? The Torah is silent on this. Note that after criticizing Moses for marrying a Cushite, that is, a dark-skinned woman, Mariam’s punishment was to be stricken with a white skin condition (מצרעת כשלג)! Was this an example of poetic justice? A distressed Moses calls out to G-d to heal her in a poetic way (אל נא רפא נא לה).
On one hand, G-d declares that Moses is unique among men in that G-d speaks with him directly, unlike the other prophets. On the other hand, Moses is humbler than any other living man. We have a bit of hyperbole here!
As in the incident of the Golden Calf, Aaron appears to come off as a nebbish, not taking a stand to restrain Miriam. Only when he witnesses Miriam’s cruel punishment does he speak up and ask for forgiveness. Perhaps he fears that he is next in line to get his just desserts. What do you think?
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On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Rabbi Jonah Dov Pesner, director of the Religious Action Center of Reform Judaism, discusses the rising incidence of antisemitism and anti-Israel sentiment in the United States and describes some of the programs in Jewish education and interfaith understanding supported by the Center.
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions.
Listen to the Audio PodcastYou can listen to the audio podcast version in the player below, or subscribe to the podcast in one of the popular platforms by clicking one of the buttons below the player.
- Apple Podcasts
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- Amazon Music About the GuestRabbi Jonah Dov PesnerRabbi Jonah Dov Pesner (he/him) serves as the Director of the Religious Action Center of Reform Judaism and has led the Religious Action Center since 2015. Rabbi Pesner also serves as Senior Vice President of the Union for Reform Judaism, a position to which he was appointed in 2011. Named one of the most influential rabbis in America by Newsweek magazine, he is an inspirational leader and tireless advocate for social justice.
Rabbi Pesner’s work focuses on encouraging Jewish communities to reach across lines of race, class, and faith while campaigning for social justice. In 2006, he founded Just Congregations (now incorporated into the Religious Action Center), which engaged clergy, professional, and volunteer leaders in interfaith social justice efforts. Rabbi Pesner was a primary leader in the Massachusetts campaign for health care access that has provided coverage to thousands and became a model for nationwide reform. Over the course of his career, he has also led and supported campaigns for racial justice, economic opportunity, immigration reform, LGBTQ+ equality, human rights, and a variety of other causes. He is dedicated to building bridges to collectively confront antisemitism, Islamophobia, and other forms of hate.
Rabbi Pesner is a Visiting Scholar at Harvard University, speaks regularly on college campuses, has trained students on all four campuses of the Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion and gives speeches in interfaith and secular venues all over the world. Rabbi Pesner serves as a board member of the NAACP, the Leadership Conference on Civil and Human Rights, the National Religious Partnership for the Environment, and the New England Center for Children. He is a member of the Faith-Based Security Advisory Council for the Department of Homeland Security, the W. K. Kellogg Foundation Solidarity Council on Racial Equity and the Leadership Team of the Jewish Social Justice Roundtable. He has served as a scholar for the Wexner Foundation, The Chautauqua Institution, American Jewish World Service, the Nexus USA Summit, and Combined Jewish Philanthropies.
Rabbi Pesner was the co-editor of “Moral Resistance and Spiritual Authority: Our Jewish Obligation to Justice,” wrote the afterword to the newly published “Social Justice Torah Commentary,” and is a widely-published author (view the full list).
Ordained at Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion in 1997, Rabbi Pesner was a congregational rabbi at Temple Israel in Boston, Massachusetts and at Temple Israel in Westport, Connecticut. A graduate of Wesleyan University and the Bronx High School of Science, Rabbi Pesner is married to Dana S. Gershon, an attorney. They have four daughters: Juliet, Noa, Bobbie, and Cate.
View Rabbi Pesner’s writings, remarks and media appearances
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פרשת נשא
במדבר Numbers 4:21 to 7:89
Naso is the longest (176 verses) weekly portion in the Torah; typically read on the Shabbat following Shavuot (שבועות).
Chapter 4 – Duties of the Levite clans (Verses 21 through 49)
Continuation from last week’s parashah, describing the duties of the remaining three Levite clans. All capable males (no females!) between the ages of 30 and 50 are to be counted for service. No explanation is given as to why those men younger than 30 or older than 50 are not counted. Possibly, the former are trainees and apprentices, not yet ready for the “heavy lifting” where the penalty for error is severe (just ask Nadav and Avihu!) and the latter may be too old for the demanding tasks. Plaut conjectured that the total number, 8,580 is way too high for the limited tasks required. While not described in the Torah, The Book of Chronicles (ספר דברי הימים) describes the 34 groupings for priests (משמר הכהונה) to perform the priestly duties in the Temple. As for the census of the other tribes, the word for thousand (אלף) here also possibly stood for some type of grouping or contingent. If so, the real meaning may conceivably be a more manageable eight contingents totaling 580 men.
Chapter 5 – Removal of afflicted or defiled individuals (Verses 1 through 4)
Although this removal of afflicted individuals was presumably to maintain ritual purity, perhaps this was a method of guaranteeing protection from little-understood diseases that may have been contagious. Historically, isolation can be traced as far back as 6th century Byzantium (Justinian Plague). Quarantine as formal policy dates from 14th century Venice during the Black Plague.
Introduction to tort law (Verses 5 through 10)
Here we have a preliminary example of tort law, calling for reasonable (one fifth) punitory damages for wrongs committed against a fellow man. If the wronged party has died without heirs, the compensation goes to the priests (Cohanim). It should be noted that the Torah does not differentiate between large and petty sums.
5:11 to 5:31 (1051 to 1053)
This is a very troubling section, especially to our modern sensibilities. Note that this only refers to an allegedly unfaithful wife. As for an unfaithful husband, the Torah is silent (boys will be boys apparently).
This is the only procedure called for in the Torah that calls for divine intervention to determine guilt or innocence. A possible rational is that if a woman is guilty, her anxiety may possibly trigger a psychosomatic reaction to drinking the bitter waters ((מי המרים that may otherwise be quite harmless. This may be the only tool that the priest had to restore domestic harmony where there is suspicion, whether justified or not. The woman is passive in all this; she cannot act in her own defense.
Another fact to consider is that a husband that suspects infidelity may be tempted to act impulsively with tragic consequences. By having him first approach the priest, this gives him a chance to cool down and hopefully act rationally.
We do not know the extent to which this practice was exercised during the early days of the First Temple. During the Second Temple period, the Sanhedrin forbid the practice. The Mishnah states that the practice was halted already by the first century of the common era because adultery was so widespread that this ritual no longer acted as a deterrent or means to ascertain the truth.
Chapter 6 – Taking of vows (Verses 1 through 21)
The Torah gives the rules for the (apparently) optional taking of the vows (נדרים) to become a Nazarite (נזיר). Rare for the Torah, this practice was open to both sexes. No explanation is given for why anyone would want to, or feel obligated to, or be coerced to take such a vow. By the period of the Talmud, Nazirite vows fell out of favor, and in general, Judaism frowns upon asceticism. Perhaps the restrictions in behavior that are mandated (no consumption of alcohol, no cutting of the hair, etc.) are intended to discourage potential Nazarites from taking a vow.
The priestly blessings (Verses 22 through 27)
During the time of the Second Temple, the Cohanim invoked the priestly blessing daily, as is presently practiced in Israel. In the diaspora, over the last few centuries, Ashkenazic Jews restricted the practice to the Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur services. Cohanim ascend the bimah and recite these blessings in front of the congregation. The Cohanim use a prescribed two hand gesture, each depicting a shin (ש, symbolizing שדי, one of the names of Gd) – a gesture made famous by Leonard Nimoy as Mr. Spock. As this depicts one of the names of Gd, the members of the congregation avert their eyes so as not to be burned by the strong glow of Gd. This practice is tradition, not law.
In some traditional families, especially among the Cohanim, parents bless children with the priestly blessing during the Erev Shabbat candle lighting ceremonies. Recall the (somewhat mushy and sentimental) candle lighting ceremony in “Fiddler on the Roof” where Tevye and Golde bless their daughters.
Chapter 7 – Consecration of the Tabernacle (Verses 1 through 89)
Upon completion and sanctification of the Tabernacle (המשכן), the tribal leaders brought silver and gold crafted offerings along with animal sacrifice offerings.
Note verse 48: Offerings and sacrifices were even brought to the Tabernacle on the seventh day (Shabbat).
Chapter 7 from this week’s parashah and chapter 8, verses 1 through 4 from next week’s parashah are read during Hanukah to commemorate the rededication of the Temple after it was violated and defiled by the Hellenistic Seleucids.
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On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Dr. Lawrence Lazarus, MD, discusses the book, Insider’s Guide to Quality, Affordable Healthcare: Practical Strategies to Navigate our Complex System and Save Money
Tired of being overwhelmed with escalating healthcare costs, find your doctors more focused on their computer than on you, and want to be more in command of your healthcare decisions?
If you’re looking for easy-to-apply strategies for obtaining high quality medical care and reducing healthcare expenses, this book is for you.
The authors are doctors with decades of experience in treating patients and their families. They have written this book to serve as your guide and share the inside story about how the U.S. healthcare system really works, so you are empowered to:
- find the best doctors and medical specialists and reduce your medical expenses
- prevent medical errors that account for more deaths each year than car accidents
- obtain a second opinion from a specialist who may save your life
- take advantage of the Affordable Health Care Act and other insurance options
- secure a healthcare advocate (“guardian angel”)
- take more control of your health and obtain the highest quality healthcare
Finally, a user-friendly guide to help everyone choose the highest quality healthcare and learn how to contain their out-of-pocket costs.
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions.
Listen to the Audio PodcastYou can listen to the audio podcast version in the player below, or subscribe to the podcast in one of the popular platforms by clicking one of the buttons below the player.
- Apple Podcasts
- YouTube
- Spotify
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- Amazon Music About the GuestDr. Lawrence LazarusLawrence W. Lazarus, M.D., has spent his forty-year career specializing in geriatric medicine and psychiatry, primarily at Rush Medical School and University in Chicago, Illinois. He was the founding Director of the Geriatric Psychiatry Fellowship Program at Rush University. He is a co-editor of the Comprehensive Textbook of Geriatric Psychiatry and has authored fifty medical articles for the medical and the lay public. He is a former president of the American Association of Geriatric Psychiatry and a recipient of the National Institute of Mental Health Geriatric Mental Health Academic Award. Dr. Lazarus is currently in private practice in Santa Fe, New Mexico.
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פרשת במדבר
במדבר Numbers 1:2 to 4:20
This parashah is usually read on the Shabbat preceding Shavuoth.
This week we start the fourth book of the Torah and rejoin the narrative as it left off at the end of the book of Exodus. The Israelites are thirteen months into their long schlep through Sinai. This book “Bemidbar (מדבר in Hebrew) translates as “In the Desert or in the wilderness”, or “Numbers” in English. Numbers, of course, refers to the census. Bemidbar perhaps refers to the fact that we receive the Torah and construct the Tabernacle, not in Egypt which we left behind, nor in Canaan, our destination which we have not yet reached, but in the wilderness between the two. This section begins with the long process of taking a ragtag group of former slaves, “generation of the desert,” (dor hamidbar – דור המדבר) and forging them with the order and discipline necessary to conquer and settle Canaan.
Chapter 1 – Census of military age males (Verses 1 through 19)Call for a census of all the males able to bear arms, from the age of 20 up, including the appointment of tribal heads (military unit commanders?). Could this be the world’s first rudimentary selective service system? Note that the members of the tribe of Levi are not counted. They are exempt from military service as they have other duties (see section 3:1 et al below). There is no census of women. Implications as to status of women in the Torah? Later, (Numbers, Chapter 13) after the incident of the scouts, we will learn that all of those counted (save Joshua and Caleb) will not get to enter the promised land but will die in the wilderness.
Note that unlike the previous census (Exodus 30, verses 11 through 16) here the individuals are counted both by tribal affiliation and by name. They are not numbers; they are recognized as individuals.
Why are males only “subject to the draft” from the age of 20? Possibly, the reason is that this gives them a reasonable time to be married and start a family before bearing the obligation to go to war. Should he fall in combat, he will hopefully have left at least one (male) heir to carry on the family name.
Note that a census had been taken only one month previously (Exodus 30:11). Why is there a need for a second census now? Possibly due to the massive loss of life after the incident of the Golden Calf. Also, the previous census apparently was not on a tribe-by-tribe basis, nor did it record the individual names or their clans.
Count of able-bodied men (Verses 20 through 46)Note an unrealistic number of able-bodied men: 603,550. Possibly this number is artificially Inflated by misinterpreting the Hebrew word “Aleph – אלף” for thousand when the intent may have been family or another small grouping. This would give us a more manageable (and plausible for the time) total of 5,500 men.
Role of the Levites (Verses 47 through 54)The Levites were excluded from this census, as they had a special function. They are to oversee safeguarding, transporting, and maintaining the tabernacle. Thus, a hierarchical structure is set up, a person’s status being determined not by virtue or ability, but by birth and by tribal affiliation. Everybody knew their place in the order of things. Of course, this grates on our 21st -century sensibilities. Note that the society that was in the process of being set up was not a meritocracy. Quite the contrary: everyone knew their assigned place in this male-dominated society.
Chapter 2 – Formations of the tribes (Verses 1 through 34)Here we have the formations into four groups of three tribes each around the Tabernacle (משכן). Each tribe has a standard or flag (דגל) that is not further described. At the time of writing, the shape and design may possibly have been common knowledge (descriptions are given in the Talmud). The order of marching for each group is given, with the tabernacle always in the center and the tribe of Judah taking the lead. That way, order (and perhaps military discipline) is created, and tribal integrity is preserved.
Chapter 3 – Role of the Levites (Verses 1 through 10)
Descendants of Aaron are appointed as priests (Cohanim – כהנים). Other Levites (לויים) had duties to assist the priest in maintaining the Tent of Meeting (אוהל מועד ) and the Tabernacle (המשכן).
Reform Judaism has done away with the recognition of the special status of both Cohanim and Levites. In traditional synagogues, the honor of the first Aliyah to the Torah is reserved for Cohanim, and the second Aliyah is reserved for Levites. Cohanim give the priestly blessings on Yorn Kippur. Prior to that, Levites serve the Cohanim by washing their hands.
Levite clans and their duties (Verses 11 through 39)The Levites assume the place of the firstborn among the Israelites by symbolically being consecrated to G-d. The Levites are divided into ancestral clans that are assigned specific duties to maintain the Tent of Meeting and the Tabernacle.
The census of the Cohanim is different than the census of the Israelites as their duties were different. Every Cohan from the age of one month and up Is counted. The reason is that, especially in a society with a high infant mortality rate, a newborn is not considered viable (בן קימא) until when and if it reaches the age of one month). Jewish mourning practices are not held for babies that die before reaching the age of one month.
In line 39, note the irregular dots above the name of Aaron. Similar marks are not unusual and appear throughout the Torah. As the Torah is inviolate, and scribes are not to add, nor are they to delete, these would be propagated onwards. Commentators throughout the ages went to great lengths (and contortions) to explain the reasons behind these strange markings. My theory (admittedly, not generally accepted) is that a simple explanation is usually the correct one (Occam’s razor) and possibly at some point in time, the quill of a long-forgotten scribe leaked.
Redemption of the first-born (Verses 40 through 51)
This section is a bit complicated. To the best of my understanding, here is what is going on:
We read in verse 13 that when G-d had all the first born (man and beast) in Egypt killed, except the Israelites, the first-born Israelites, 22,273 in number were consecrated to G-d. Here, the Levites are substituted for the first-born Israelites as being in service to G-d. Hence the first born needs to be redeemed. In addition, the cattle of the Levites are taken in place of the first-born cattle of the Israelites We are not told how much cattle needed to be redeemed.
In this special counting of the Levites (לוים) the census is restricted to the firstborn males and their cattle. As this census revealed that there were 273 more first born males over the number of the Levites, the Israelites had to redeem 273 first born males at five shekels of weight a head. Why five shekels? The medieval commentator Rashi theorized that five shekels equal twenty dinars, which was the price that Joseph’s brothers received for selling him into bondage. The money (1,365 shekels) was to be given to Aaron and his sons. Note that the text does not stipulate what the money shall be used for.
This practice later evolved into the Pidyon HaBen ceremony – פדיון הבן (redeeming of the firstborn male).
Chapter 4 – Roll of the Kohathites (Verses 1 through 20)A separate count of the Kohathites (בני קהת) among the Levites is taken, all those between the ages of 30 and 50. Presumably, those younger than 30 are apprentices, and those older than 50 would not be up to the demanding tasks.
The divisions of labor between the different clans that compose the Cohanim is described. The duties of the first group, the Kohaths, is described here. The duties for the remaining groups will be described in next week’s parashah.
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JewishSacredAging.com is sponsoring a continuing series of live webinar discussions on issues that matter to us as we age. These webinars are being co-hosted on Zoom by Rabbi Address and his colleague, Rabbi Mark Howard Levin of Overland, Kansas.
You can watch previous webinar discussions here. If you are interested in learning about upcoming webinars, please email webmaster@jewishsacredaging.com.
April 17, 2024 Webinar
May 23, 2024 Webinar
About the Co-HostRabbi Mark Howard LevinRabbi Mark Howard Levin is a native of Baltimore, Maryland. Graduated in 1971 from Boston University, magna cum laude with distinction in religion, Rabbi Levin received his Master of Arts in Hebrew letters from Hebrew Union College – Jewish Institute of Religion (HUC-JIR) in 1974, his Certificate in Jewish Communal Studies in 1974 (Los Angeles), and was ordained in 1976 (Cincinnati). Most recently, Rabbi Levin completed his Doctorate of Hebrew Letters through HUC-JIR in New York in May, 2001, and his honorary Doctor of Divinity in 2001 in Cincinnati. He has been the congregational Pulpit Rabbi for Congregation Beth Torah since its inception in 1988 up until his retirement from this position in June 2014. In July 2014 he accepted the position of Beth Torah’s Founding Rabbi. Rabbi Levin is the father of three children and grandfather of two grandchildren. He is married to the former Kacy Childs-Winston, the mother of Kyle and Seth Winston. Rabbi Levin serves on several local boards and writes religion columns for the Kansas City Star, and answers questions for the “Ask the Rabbi” service of the Union of Reform Judaism.
The post Jewish Sacred Aging Webinar Series: Reflections on Our Long and Winding Road appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
I looked into the eyes of a 1-year old baby
And wondered how many twists, turns and maybes
During her life would be her journey while taking a toll
And realized I saw an old soul.
I then pictured her happy days of bliss
While hoping those times she’ll never miss.
Her family is all smiles with joy as they relish in the find
Of a new life and the presence of her unique mind.
Her spirit was apparent as she looked deep into our eyes
I wondered if she could detect our lies.
Is this the power of an old soul and exactly what does that mean?
Will she be one step closer to all that is keen?
The world is so vulnerable and scary
What burdens do her generation have to carry?
Innocence is such a lovely treasure
But how long can it be measured?
When will this precious child learn that peace
Is on lease?
When will this precious child
Know that the world’s climate isn’t so mild?
When will this precious child understand
That fair politics are not on demand?
When will this precious child feel
That love isn’t always even keel?
What burdens do her generation have to carry?
So their lives do not tarry.
Are our expectations wanting them to restore
The world that was so much more?
Is this too much to ask
As the world removes its 21st Century mask?
The easier times are in our rear-view mirror
I pray for days ahead that are not with terror.
What burdens do her generation have to carry?
I’m hoping for a peaceful resolve that will be sweeter on the lovely day
this precious child will marry.
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On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Rabbi Dalia Marx, Ph.D., the Rabbi Aaron D. Panken Professor of Liturgy and Midrash at HUC-JIR’s Taube Family Campus in Jerusalem, discusses her new book, From Time to Time, Journeys in the Jewish Calendar.
Time is fundamental to the human experience, and in Judaism it is even more—time is sanctified. Understanding the Jewish calendar is thus essential for fully comprehending Judaism. In From Time to Time, Rabbi Dalia Marx, PhD, presents a fascinating exploration of the treasures of the Jewish year. The book artfully blends traditional and contemporary perspectives on each Hebrew month and its holidays. Rabbi Marx’s insights are paired with striking illustrations; each month also features a diverse selection of poetry, prayers, and songs. Taking a distinctively Israeli, feminist, and progressive approach, From Time to Time is a comprehensive, indispensable companion you will want to return to each season.
Download a study guide from the CCAR Press website.
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions.
Listen to the Audio PodcastYou can listen to the audio podcast version in the player below, or subscribe to the podcast in one of the popular platforms by clicking one of the buttons below the player.
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- Amazon Music About the GuestRabbi Dalia Marx, Ph.D.Rabbi Dalia Marx, Ph.D., is the Rabbi Aaron D. Panken Professor of Liturgy and Midrash at HUC-JIR’s Taube Family Campus in Jerusalem, and teaches in various academic institutions in Israel and Europe.
Marx, a tenth generation Jerusalemite, earned her doctorate at the Hebrew University and her rabbinic ordination at HUC-JIR in Jerusalem and Cincinnati in 2002. She is involved in various research projects and is active in promoting liberal Judaism in Israel. Marx writes for academic and popular journals and publications.
Marx is the lead editor of the Israeli Reform siddur, Tfillat HaAdam (2020). Her book From Time to Time: Journeys in the Jewish Calendar (Yeditos Sfarim 2018), was translated to several languages, and is available in English from the CCAR Press.
She is the author of When I Sleep and When I Wake: On Prayers between Dusk and Dawn (Yediot Sfarim, 2010, in Hebrew), A Feminist Commentary of the Babylonian Talmud (Mohr Siebeck, 2013, in English), About Time: Journeys in the Jewish-Israeli Calendar (Yediot Sfarim, 2018, in Hebrew) and the co-editor of a few books. See Marx’s website.
Marx lives in Jerusalem with her husband, Roly Zyblersztein, Ph.D. They have three children.
The post Seekers of Meaning 5/31/2024: Rabbi Dalia Marx, author of “From Time to Time: Journeys in the Jewish Calendar” appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
פרשת בחקתי
ויקרא Leviticus 26:3 to 27:34
Note: In regular years, Parashat Bechukotai and the previous parashah, Behar are read on a single Shabbat. During a leap year in the Hebrew calendar (two months of Adar), the parashot are read separately, Behar one Shabbat and Bechukotai on the subsequent Shabbat.
Chapter 26 – The blessings for obedience (Verses 3 through 13)
Gd promises that if we observe the laws and commandments, life will be good. The rains will come, the agricultural yield will be plentiful, we will be fruitful, and multiply, and any enemy invader will be soundly routed without too much trouble. Gd will reside in our midst.
The curses for disobedience (Verses 14 through 38)
BUT, if we do not observe the commandments, we will be in deep trouble, big time! The following descriptive set of verses is not for the faint of heart!
Plaut notes that this section has close parallels with the formats of treaties that Hittite and Assyrian rulers concluded with vassal kings of subjugated peoples.
Of course, we know that a simple (פשט) reading of this section presents a superficial theology; a direct correlation between good deeds and reward, bad deeds and punishment. Basically, we know that this is not how the world works, not on a personal level, and not on a national level. Some modern commentators have interpreted this section as pointing out that there is an interrelation between the moral order of the universe and the natural order. It may not be one to one “cause and direct effect” or quid pro quo, but it is there, at least on the macro or communal level. On the individual level, bad things can still happen to good people, and good things can still happen to bad people. On the macro level, by way of example, our individual “sins”, such as carbon emissions or consumption of single use plastics collectively contribute to climate change and environmental degradation.
But there is always hope (Verses 39 through 46)
But, for the surviving remnant, there is hope of redemption. If they acknowledge their guilt and truly repent, all is not lost as Gd will remember his covenant.
Of course, history has shown, especially in the aftermath of the Holocaust, that the receipt of earthly rewards and punishments does not appear to fit such a neat pattern. One rationalization among believers is that just rewards or punishments will be meted out in the world to come although this is not a theme of the Torah.
Chapter 27 – Vows made by man to Gd (Verses 1 through 8)
This section deals with vows (נדרים) made by man to Gd, presumably to be dedicated to the upkeep of the Temple, although the section does not explicitly say so. Value of the vow, in shekels, is in accordance with age group and sex (male vow is up to twice that of a female). If these sums are beyond his or her means, the priest shall make a reasonable assessment.
Vows of property (Verses 9 through 27)
Rules for vows of property (animals, house, or land holding). Should the donor change his mind and wish to redeem his contributed property, he can do so by paying its value and an additional one fifth of the assessed value.
Property dedicated to Gd (Verses 28 through 34)
No property, whether man (is the intention to a slave?), animal, or property (intention is real estate) that is dedicated (חרם) to Gd can be redeemed. So be careful before you dedicate! No buyer’s remorse here! What is the difference between items dedicated in these verses and in verses 9 to 27 above?
Note verse 29: Any man who is dedicated cannot be ransomed. He is to be killed. What is going on here? Some Rabbinic sources translate חרם here as condemned. Whereas in verse 22 חרם is translated as consecrated or dedicated. In other words, a person who has been sentenced to death for his crimes cannot be ransomed.
At the completion of the reading of any of the books of the Torah, it is customary to recite:
חזק, חזק, ונתחזק
(Be strong, be strong, and we will be strengthened)
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On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Lisa David, executive director, URJ Camps/Camp Harlam and URJ Camps Pipeline Strategy, and Lori Zlotoff, inclusion coordinator at URJ Camp Harlam, discuss the importance of summer camp experiences for Jewish children and teenagers.
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions.
Listen to the Audio PodcastYou can listen to the audio podcast version in the player below, or subscribe to the podcast in one of the popular platforms by clicking one of the buttons below the player.
- Apple Podcasts
- YouTube
- Spotify
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- Amazon Music About the GuestsLisa DavidExecutive Director, URJ CampsLisa returned to Camp Harlam as the Associate Director in April of 2014 and was promoted to be camp’s sixth Director in history in 2017. Lisa began her involvement with Camp Harlam as a camper in Arava in 1988, continuing through as a camper, CIT, staff member, Assistant Unit Head, and as the CIT Director in the summer of 2000. Her Harlam connections run far deeper, as she also met her husband Ben in the summer of 1988, and she has maintained connections to many of her counselors and campers, serving for a brief time as the Co-President of the Alumni Network as well.
Before returning to Harlam, Lisa worked as Associate Director of Camping for the URJ, working with all of the camps in the URJ system on a range of different programmatic initiatives. She also served as the Director of KESHER, the College Department of the URJ, and as the Assistant Camp Director and Director of Teen Services and the Jewish Community Center of Central New Jersey.
Lisa grew up in Bucks County, PA, and graduated from the University of Maryland in 1999 with a BS in Family Studies. In 2001 Lisa received her Master of Social Work from the University of Pennsylvania and her Master of Jewish Communal Service from Gratz College.
Lisa is thrilled to be back at the camp that inspired her personal and professional path. Beyond the Machanayim scar still visible on her knee (Red Team, 2nd session 1990), camp – and the inspiring leaders and peers she experienced it with – left an indelible mark on her identity as well. They inspired her to grow from a shy, quiet 1st time camper at 11 years old to a Jewish camping professional working to provide a meaningful and fulfilling camp experience for many more Jewish youth.
In Lisa’s role as the Director, she oversees Harlam’s complete summer program and all operations.
Lisa currently lives in Jenkintown, PA with her husband, Rabbi Benjamin David, and their children Noa, Elijah and Sam, and is a member of Temple Keneseth Israel.
Lori ZlotoffLori Zlotoff, LCSW, grew up in Merrick, NY and was an active member of NFTY throughout high school. She attended Kutz Camp as a camper and returned to URJ camping in 1997 for the inaugural year of Camp Newman in Santa Rosa, CA as a bunk counselor. It was there that she met her future husband, Jacob, who had also been NFTY President.
Lori received her undergraduate degree from Binghamton University and her Master of Social Work from the University of Pennsylvania School of Social Policy and Practice in 2001. In addition, she participated in a dual program with Gratz College, receiving a graduate certificate in Jewish education.
For more than 20 years, Lori has worked in New York as a licensed clinical social worker with a variety of clients, and she currently owns her own private practice. Lori is the point-person on Harlam’s inclusion efforts, including the direct support of campers and families prior to and during the camp season. She also oversees the Avodah program.
Lori currently lives with her family in Port Washington, NY, where they are members of The Community Synagogue. Lori is the executive producer of The Community Synagogue Theater Company, which blends her love of musical theater with her love of the Jewish community!
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פרשת בהר
ויקרא Leviticus 25:1 to 26:2
During Hebrew Leap Years (7 years out of a 19-year cycle), an extra month of Adar (אדר) is added. During Hebrew leap years, congregations read Parashot Behar this week, and Parashot Bechukotai the following week. During non-leap years, both parashote are read this week.
Chapter 25 – Sabbatical Year (Verses 1 through 7)
Every seventh year shall be a sabbatical year (שבת שבתון), defined in Exodus 23:10 and Deuteronomy 25:1 as shmita (שנת השמיטה – year of remission) for the land. It shall not be tilled or sowed. During the sabbatical year, while the land is not actively cultivated, the owner may eat (but not sell) whatever the land passively yields, although this must be shared with his household (inclusive of slaves, indentured servants, laborers, and livestock). We shall see in Deuteronomy Chapter 25 this seven-year release concept being expanded to have economic and social implications.
A rational may be that the sabbatical year may, at least partially, allow the land to rejuvenate, especially in biblical times when crop rotation was not understood, and single-crop farming tended to eventually exhaust the soil.
It should be noted that most historians conjecture that this practice had fallen into disuse sometime during the Second Temple period, especially when continuous working of the land was required to meet unyielding Roman taxation demands. We do not know to what extent the practice was observed during the time of the First Temple. In addition, it does not relate to land holdings outside of the land of Israel. It may be that this represents an idealized (for that time) society that never really existed in practice.
The concept of the sabbatical year can be taken to mean that rather than “ownership” of the land, we are stewards, charged with the land’s periodic renewal. This could serve as a guiding principal as we (and more so our descendants) will be increasingly plunged into the environmental crisis caused in large part by our misuse of the land that we have inherited.
In modern times, many organizations, especially in the higher education field, have adopted the concept of the sabbatical (שבתון), offering select staff a year off every seven or so years to pursue other interests.
Jubilee Year – (Verses 8 through 17)
Every fiftieth year shall be a jubilee year. As this year follows the regular sabbatical year, there would be in effect two consecutive years of leaving the land fallow. This is a virtual “reset” of society. All land goes back to its original owners. This means in effect that land is never sold, in our sense of the term, but is only “rented” for a specified, and limited period. The modern and secular reader may be left scratching his head.
Verse 10 has been interpreted as implying that all slaves or indentured servants are to be relieved of their bondage (commentators have interpreted this as only referring to Hebrew slaves or indentured servants, although the text does not imply this). The Hebrew term דרור (Dror) probably is best translated as “release” and not “liberty” as quoted in the translation of this famous verse as inscribed on the Liberty Bell. It may be related to the Babylonian “Duraru” which was the release of slaves or restoration of property by a royal decree. Duraru was only an occasional edict, not a periodic one as Dror is.
In what ways have the ideas of this section influenced contemporary land reform or social reform movements or theories? In 1901, the Zionist Movement established the Jewish National Fund (קרן קימת לישראל) to acquire land in Palestine to be held in trust for the Jewish people. Holdings were made available to farming communities and cooperatives, for productive use. Farmers can remain on the soil as tenants but cannot sell or mortgage their holdings.
Verses 14 through 17 lay out basic rules for fair and proper business practices, with the focus on land sales; price being adjusted in accordance with how many years remain until the jubilee. These sentences refer to commerce between a seller or buyer and his “fellow” (עמית – colleague in contemporary Hebrew). Some commentators unfortunately interpret this as only referring to business relations with a fellow Jew. Otherwise, anything goes! There is no evidence from the text that this is the intent.
Promise of bumper crop – (Verses 18 through 24)
How can such a system not produce mass starvation? “Ah ha!” the orthodox reader may declare, at least according to the (Orthodox) ArtScroll Stone Edition commentaries (Page 697): ”This commandment proves (italics are mine) that only Gd is the Author of the Torah, because this chapter guarantees (again, italics are mine) that the year before shemitah will produce a crop large enough to last for three years, until the next available crop is harvested.” Whatever. The ArtScroll commentary goes on: “If a human being were (sic) inventing such a commandment, he would have to be foolhardy indeed to make such a prediction; only Gd could make such a statement.” The book does make a point, sort of. If the previous year did not yield a bumper crop, what would happen during the following two years? An alternative, perhaps secular interpretation may be that this was written in Babylon during the exile, where this injunction would not have applied. In present-day Israel, farming settlements have a “workaround”; the land is “sold” for a period of one year to a non-Jew. Many ultra-orthodox Jews do not accept this trick and during the year of shemitah will only eat imported fruits or vegetables.
Practice of Jubilee Year (Verses 25 to 34)
Here we have the obligation of an Israelite to assist his brother (perhaps here the intent is fellow Israelite) in time of trouble, at least financial trouble, to recoup his holdings. Worst case, he or his descendants will reclaim the holding during the jubilee year. A house sold within a walled city may be redeemed within a year, afterward the sale is final and permanent. The jubilee year does not apply to property within a walled city. Why is that? Could the reason be that a walled city was considered an urban environment, and the intention was to preserve agricultural holdings? Within cities of the Levites, Levites will have an unlimited right of redemption and property will revert to the original owners during the Jubilee year. Note that the unenclosed land around the Levite cities cannot be sold. Any ideas as to why this is?
See verses 23 and 24: An environmental interpretation is that all property and even Israelites within the land of Israel belong to Gd (כי לי הארץ). We are only privileged to hold or be custodians of “our” property and even our personages in trust for a limited time.
The rabbis of the Talmud determined that this law was only in effect when all twelve tribes were settled in their respective territorial allotments. According to this interpretation, the law was abrogated when the tribes of Reuben and Gad were forced into exile. There is no evidence that the practice of the Jubilee year was observed during the period of the Second Temple, and of course it is not practiced in modern day Israel.
Obligations towards your kin, dealing with slaves (verses 35 to 55)
Instructions for caring for a brother (or is the intent fellow Israelite?) that comes into your household due to financial straits. Note (verse 37) apparent prohibition against charging interest (or is the intention only against usury?). Further, in Deuteronomy (23:21) is a blanket prohibition against charging interest to a fellow Israelite (it is okay to charge others). A brother in dire straits may be taken in as an indentured servant (to be freed during the jubilee year – if he lives so long) but cannot be considered a slave or treated as one.
Very troubling to contemporary readers are verses 44 to 46 that permit the trading in and possession of non-Israelite slaves from the surrounding nations. In the pre-Civil War US, these lines were used by southern plantation owners to rationalize the institution of slavery. The Torah does not condone, nor try to rationalize slavery, but recognizes it as the prevalent institution that it was at the time. It does try, here and in both Exodus and Deuteronomy, to ameliorate the burden of slavery in general, and in particular for Israelite slaves. This contrasts sharply with the laws in other societies of the time that consider slaves as mere chattel, the owner having the complete power of life or death. In its way, the Torah is quite revolutionary and enlightened for the period (late bronze age). In fact, the Talmud warns that he who purchases a Hebrew slave purchases himself a master.
An Israelite that is in such straits that he has sold himself to a resident alien (גר) shall still have the right of redemption, or at the last resort being freed during the jubilee year (if he lives so long). A resident alien cannot hold an Israelite as a slave or treat him as such, at most he is an indentured servant.
Chapter 26 – Prohibition of idol worship, observing sabbath (Verses 1 and 2)
This new section begins with laws prohibiting the fashioning of idols or the worshiping of them and ends with a reminder to observe the Sabbath and revere Gd’s sanctuary (מקדש).
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From the perspective of my age, early 80s, I believe a vital senior would benefit from knowing who they are (self-identity) to guide what to do (life experience) to assess how it’s going (quality of life, as determined by wellness, connectness, passion, purpose and peace).
Recently I felt the urge to list my self-identity dimensions, to check if I’m living an optimal life – according to my its vision and values. I came up with a dozen, which I used as the outline of my poem to celebrate and clarify how good my life is. Whether your life’s list is long or short matters less than claiming what makes you unique, valued and competent as a senior – to create your best life yet and enable you to be of service to others.
Your self-identity list could lead to creating a poem, as I’ve done, or other formats – such as a short story, email, video, performance piece, autobiography, meditation guide, and word art. Beyond the poem below being my personal statement, I hope it serves as an illustration to encourage and inspire you to author, appreciate and apply your self-identity – one that is mature, long-and-hard-earned, wisdom-filled and gloriously you.
How to describe myself to me? … to others?
In accepting my fullness will they too?
Enough self-hiding … here’s who I am
Love … the core on my humanity
Family or friends … casual or committed
With an open, caring, giving heart
Jewish from birth … a prized heritage
Curious to sample other traditions
Spiritual awakening … anchored wisdom
Gay since a kid … closeted until age 50
Stigma erased by spiritual awareness
An instant-straight pill marketed … nope!
Exploding Creativity … risking “you’re crazy”
Edgy poems, stirring songs, vibrant lifestyle
Forget the ordinary … seek secret treasures
Persistent Positivity empowers my sanity
Affirming thoughts … vital commitments
Confidence soars as insights guide me
On Stage revealing my life’s mysteries
Expressing raw feelings to audiences
From imagination springs show-and-tell
Wonderful friends around the globe
Awed by human diversity’s brilliance
Multicultural bonds yield inner knowing
My Holistic gears alchemize harmony
Cultivate the parts to harvest synergy
Enhanced living for radiant well-being
Multiple roles sculpt keep me stretching
Teacher, coach, healer, singer, poet, etc.
The experiences enrich my essence
Excited in cities … peaceful in Nature
Clears my head … animates my heart
Illuminating my true Human Nature
Evolving beyond my pain traps
Actualizing greater Human Potential
Feeling passion, purpose, peace
Ignited by my Soul … trusting intuition
Portal to Divinity … life’s riddles unravel
Inspiration leads me to elevated realities
Learn more about Adventurous Aging, how seniors can use our self-identity to create a wisdom-powered life, check out https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100082105301582. You can contact Larry at larryros@gmail.com, or +1-928-202-0010 (USA, Eastern Time).
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On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Reb Simcha Raphael, Ph.D., discusses his new book of poetry, Musings with the Angel of Death: Poems of Love, Life and Longing.
Intense and deeply personal, this compilation of poetry, grapples with the reality of death, loss, and finding meaning in the face of life’s finitude in contemporary times. For more than three decades, Simcha Paull Raphael has written scholarly books on death and the afterlife, including his groundbreaking study Jewish Views of the Afterlife. In this collection of thirty-six poems, Raphael invites us into the inner sanctum of his own intimate wrestling with death and loss. As Rabbi Jill Hammer writes in the Foreword: “Raphael has done the brave work of exposing his own emotional life, the inner workings of his drive to address mortality and immortality. In a sense, he has let us know the behind-the-scenes of his academic and spiritual work.”
These poems reflect and wrestle with a spectrum of topics: the gamut of Jewish death rituals (funeral & shiva, Kaddish & Yizkor); personal tributes to the author’s deceased parents; his journey of making meaning in the face of grief and loss; challenges of love and marriage; the vicissitudes of family life; and thoughtful poetic reflections on the state of the world today. As a book mirroring the universal journey of awakening to the reality of life’s finality and eternity, Musings with the Angel of Death speaks to the heart and soul.
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions.
Listen to the Audio PodcastYou can listen to the audio podcast version in the player below, or subscribe to the podcast in one of the popular platforms by clicking one of the buttons below the player.
- Apple Podcasts
- YouTube
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- Amazon Music About the GuestRabbi Simcha RaphaelReb Simcha Paull Raphael, Ph.D.SIMCHA RAPHAEL, Ph.D., is the Founding Director of the DA’AT INSTITUTE. He has worked as a death awareness educator, bereavement counselor and hospice chaplain for over twenty-five years. Ordained as a Rabbinic Pastor by Rabbi Zalman Schachter-Shalomi, he received a doctorate in Psychology from the California Institute of Integral Studies, and has written extensively on the topics of death, bereavement and the afterlife
The post Seekers of Meaning 5/17/2024: Reb Simcha Raphael, author of “Musings With The Angel Of Death: Poems of Love, Life and Longing” appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
פרשת אמור
ויקרא Leviticus 21:1 to 24:23
Note: The previous sections detailed the commandments handed down to the entire nation. Here we are introduced to the commandments directed at the priestly class. Although the functional duties of the priestly class and the Levites ended with the destruction of the Second Temple, they retain, by heredity (male lineage), certain religious prerogatives, obligations, and prohibitions. Reform Judaism does not recognize these distinctions.
Chapter 21 – Behavior expected of the high priests (Verses 1 through 9)
This section details the behavior expected of the priests (כהנים), that is, the surviving sons of Aaron (and their descendants).
Note: Traditional Jews interpret the prohibition against defiling oneself by contact with a dead person as prohibiting Cohanim from entering a cemetery except to bury a close blood relative. Verse 7 prohibits a Cohen from marrying a divorced woman, a prohibition that traditional Jews observe today; a halachic ruling upheld by the Chief Rabbinate in Israel that is the cause of much tsorus and personal tragedy.
Restrictions placed upon the high priests (Verses 10 through 15)
These verses detail further restrictions fall on the High Priest (הכהן הגדול). Particularly note that he may only marry a virgin. He cannot marry a widow, a rape victim, a divorced woman, or a prostitute.
Disqualifications for a priest with a defect (Verses 16 through 24)
A priest that has a physical defect (מום) is disqualified from performing the sacrificial services. His sole privilege is permission to share in eating the sacrificial offerings. Verse 23 is extremely harsh to our contemporary ears: “He shall not enter behind the curtain or come near the altar, for he has a defect. He shall not profane these places sacred to me, for I the Lord have sanctified them (אך אל הפרכת לא יבא ואל המזבח לא ייגש כי מום בו ולא יחלל את מקדשי כי אני ה’ מקדשם)
Why is that? Presuming even the person with the physical defect was created in the image of G-d (בצלם ה’), why would he a priori be excluded from the Temple rites? Perhaps the intent was to assure that the priests do not indulge in the mutilation practices that many religious leaders and servants among the surrounding peoples engaged in (such as castration). Note that there is no spiritual requirement, only a physical one. Does that mean that the high priest can be a real SOB and still qualify on condition that he does not have a physical defect? One possibility is that this reflects a pre-scientific belief that a physical disability is (or may be) divine punishment for past sins.
Note (Verse 24): Even though the following instructions relate solely to the priests, they are given to all the people. Why is that? Perhaps the priests cannot be trusted to enforce such severe (and seemingly unfair) measures among their own kin.
Chapter 22 – Partaking of the sacred donations (Verses 1 through 16)
Here Moses relays G-d’s instructions to the priests regarding rules for partaking of the sacred donations, as well as who must refrain from partaking.
Instructions for sacrificial offerings (Verses 17 through 33)
Here are G-d’s instructions to the people regarding sacrificial offerings. Why the prohibition against offering sacrificial animals with defects (line 23: a small relaxation is made for free offerings)? Perhaps the idea is that an offering of a less valued animal as a sacrifice means that the offering is given grudgingly, not wholeheartedly. Note Verses 26 to 28 require some basic humane treatment of animals. Note the commandment in Verse 32 not to profane G-d’s holy name. This gives rise to the traditional custom not to use any of the names of G-d outside of prayer or study, but instead use the indirect term Hashem (השם – The Name).
Chapter 23 – The festivals (Verses 1 through 8)
In this chapter, G-d is setting forth the festivals (מועדים) and fixing their time in the Hebrew priestly calendar. First is the weekly Sabbath (שבת), a day of rest where you are not permitted to work. What constitutes work is not defined here and it is up to the Rabbis of the Talmud to give exact definitions. Also, a seven-day festival is defined, the first day of which is Passover (פסח), the following day being the Matzoh Festival (חג המצות). The seventh day shall be an (as yet unnamed) holiday. On each of these days, work is prohibited. During the entire festival, Matzoh shall be eaten. Note that this section does not proscribe that leavened bread must not be eaten, although the prohibition does appear in Exodus 13:7 and in Deuteronomy.
Counting the Omer (Verses 9 through 22)
Here we have the injunction to bring the first sheaf (עמר – Omer) of the (barley) harvest to the priest. Both the offeror and the priest shall wave it. Following that day, seven weeks (49 days) are counted off and then the new grain, two (wheat) loaves, are offered to the priests. While not named as such here, this became the festival of Shavuot (שבועות – weeks). A literal reading of Verse 11 (“… on the day after Sabbath” – ממחרת השבת) may lead to the assumption that, according to the priestly calendar, the holiday was always observed on a Sunday. Rabbinic sources contend that here, “Sabbath” refers not to Sabbath but to the first day of Passover. Indeed, the Karaites, to this day do observe Shavuot on a Sunday. The seven-week counting of the Omer (ספירת העמר) begins following the first day of Passover. Some sects in the past began the counting upon the conclusion of Passover, as do the present-day Ethiopian Jews.
We can note a repeat of the injunction from chapter 19 to leave the edges of the field (at least one sixtieth of the field according to the Mishnah) unharvested for the poor and the stranger. Later commentators added that the landowner does not have exclusive ownership of his holding. He has a social responsibility to share (at least the edges of his land) with the poor and the strangers in his midst.
The Rabbis of the Talmud infused the holiday with greater religious significance, as commemorating the giving of Torah at Mount Sinai. There is no reference to this in the Torah itself, or even in the Mishna for that matter.
Day of Atonement (Verses 23 through 32)
Commandments as to when and how to observe a day of rest (unnamed here), now known as Rosh Hashanah (ראש השנה), followed ten days later by the solemn day of atonement (יום הכפורים – Yom HaKippurim). The reference to loud blasts (תרועה) was interpreted as the shofar sound that today intersperses the Rosh Hashana service and marks the end of the Day of Atonement.
Festival of Booths – (Verses 33 through 44)
Here we have the Festival of Booths (חג הסוכות – Succoth). While this seven-day holiday marks the completion of the harvest, it is given added significance with all the people commanded to live in booths. Verse 43 supports the interpretation that this is how the Israelites supposedly lived on the journey out of Egypt. This may be unlikely as nomadic people (such as the remaining nomadic Bedouin of today) usually live in tents as opposed to difficult to schlepp booths.
Chapter 24 – Maintaining a lighted torch (Verses 1 through 9)
We have the commandment to maintain a lighted torch (נר תמיד) outside the tent of meeting. From this passage, we have the present-day eternal light that is in front of, and above the ark holding the Torah scrolls (relatively recent custom, not law). Note that the lighted torch outside the tent of meeting must burn from evening to morning while the contemporary eternal light never goes out (unless the bulb burns out). While an eternal light is expected in Reform and Conservative synagogues, not all orthodox synagogues have one.
The blasphemer (Verses 10 through 16)
The story of the blasphemer. We are not told explicitly what he said that was so terrible. Why do you think the Torah mentions that he is “only” half Israelite? Is this a warning as to the possible consequences of a mixed marriage? Doesn’t this contradict the later halacha that rules that if his mother is Israelite, he is a member of the tribe? His punishment was to be stoned. Would this have been the fate of a full Israelite? Probably so, as this punishment (stoning to death) is here proscribed on the whole people.
Basis for criminal law (Verses 17 through 23)
Now we have the penalty of death for intentional homicide and monetary restitution for killing an animal. For other crimes, an eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth (Lex Talionis – retaliatory justice or simply measured revenge) must be the verdict. Do you think that the intent of the Torah is that this is to be taken literally? The language is concise and unambiguous and doesn’t seem to provide leeway for other interpretations or rationalizations. None the less, the Rabbis of the Talmud and subsequent interpreters and commentators from all the religious streams are virtually unanimous in agreement that this refers to monetary compensation only.
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A Note from Rabbi Address: One of the challenges of our own aging is the tension of “holding on and letting go”. Rabbi Paulette Posner is a student in the Wurzweiler Social Work School of Yeshiva University’s Certification in Gerontology and Palliative Care. I teach in this program and Paulette, in a section on Rituals, wrote this piece. While Tashlich is usually associated with the New Year, we wanted to post this and invite you to adjust it for your own spiritual practice as we often are faced, throughout the year, with choices of how and when to “let go” of issues, beliefs, relationships etc. Thanks to Paulette and Rabbi Kamin whose ritual we posted recently.
As we age, there are times when we need to say good-bye to an activity, such as bike riding, needlepoint, or reading the newspaper as our body ages and we no longer have the ability to function in the same way. This change can cause us to feel a variety of emotions ranging from sadness to frustration.
Traditionally, on the afternoon of the first day of Rosh Hashanah we participate in Tashlich; the ritual for casting away our sins into a body of water. During this ceremony, we symbolically cast off the sins of the previous year by tossing pebbles or breadcrumbs into flowing water. It is traditional for people think of things they have done wrong in the past year and then “throw them away,” promising for improvement in the coming year.
In this ritual, the person (or group) is (are) invited to write down either (1) negative feelings that they do not want to carry with them, or (2) the thing that will no longer be a part of their lives (the bike, the fine print, the needlepoint, etc…) on water-soluble paper. This is an opportunity to cast away the negative feelings or activities that are no longer a part of our lives and focus on the new things that they can do.
The pieces of paper are folded and then placed in a bowl of water. Each participant takes a turn stirring the water and acknowledging that it is time to say goodbye or let go. Participants can sit in a circle and choose whether or not they wish to share what they wrote on the paper. If done with an individual, then the rabbi can both facilitate and participate in the ritual.
After the water is dissolved, I invite everyone to say the following (adapted from Tashlich):
A Prayer for Letting Go
Holy One of Blessing
Here I am
ready to let go of my ____
As I cast this paper into the bowl
lift my troubles off my shoulders.
Open my heart to blessing and gratitude.
Allow me to focus on the new activities that I may now do.
Help us, restore us, renew us once more
As you’ve done many times before
Give us the strength to begin again
And guide us in all that we do.[1]**
Amen.
Conclude with Shehecheyanu;
HEBREW TEXT
בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה, יְיָ אֱלֹהֵינוּ, מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם, שֶׁהֶחֱיָנוּ וְקִיְּמָנוּ וְהִגִּיעָנוּ לַזְּמַן הַזֶּה.
TRANSLITERATION
Baruch atah, Adonai Eloheinu, Melech haolam, shehecheyanu, v’kiy’manu, v’higiyanu laz’man hazeh.
TRANSLATION
Blessed are You, Adonai our God, Sovereign of all, who has kept us alive, sustained us, and brought us to this season.
Ask participants to reflect upon the beauty of reaching this moment in their lives.
[1] Hashivenu, https://rodephshalom.org/do-it-yourself-tashlich-ritual-guide/
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As a veteran of the student protests of the late 1960s and early 1970s, I can’t help but compare and contrast what we did then with the student protests happening right now. A surface glance might see them as similar – college students demonstrating against a war. But a more penetrating look will reveal that they are much different in tone, content, and intention.
My first experience with college protests was in 1969, the beginning of my Freshman year. I helped organize the mid-November Moratorium Against the War in Vietnam on my campus. It was a “Day of Peace Education and Prayer” with faculty members teaching. Topics included ‘What is the War Doing to America?” (Ramifications of withdrawal, American policy and its affect on society, the peace dividend and the Moratorium’s efficacy), “Dissent in a Democracy”, “An Historian Looks at Vietnam”, “The Impending American Crisis” (What have we learned from the Russian and Nazi revolutions that can help us understand American today?), “The Church, the Synagogue, and the Peace Movement” (Judeo-Christian teaching on war and peace; Will praying for peace end the war?; Is the establishment misusing religion for its own purposes?). The day ended with a poetry reading and a candlelight procession. We also marched in local protests chanting “Peace Now!” and “No More War!” and singing “We Shall Overcome.” An article in our university newspaper concluded, “Despite student protest, 39,000 Americans have died in Vietnam so far – and still the war goes on.” Imagine, students seeking the insights of learned professors on the issues of the day! It seemed obvious to us that this was what universities were supposed to be about.
I continued to protest the war and the draft of young men to fight it through the early 1970s, getting arrested four times. We were nonviolent and driven by the conviction that the war was wrong. It was a war by our government and young Americans were directly affected. Our local collectives had many meetings before each action to nail down our thoughts behind the protest and to strategize. Everything came from within our group with no outside direction.
By contrast, the pro-Palestine (actually anti-Israel) protests today are in reaction to a war that does not directly involve or affect American students. Some students say they demonstrate for humanitarian reasons. I remember being shocked and saddened by the horrors of war as I came of age. It’s normal to mourn the deaths of children and the destruction of war, and maybe jump to the conclusion that no war is justified if the innocent suffer. However, there are horrific wars going on in Ukraine and Sudan, which are not being protested. Where did these masked, keffiyeh wearing protestors come from and why? If it is not self-interest, what is their motivation for demonstrating?
When I was studying engineering at the University of California, Berkeley in the late 70s, one of my best friends was the president of the Arab Student Association and a Palestinian. I was probably the only non-Arab pro-Palestinian student on campus. There was no movement. I remember this friend warning me (concerning the Palestinian situation), “This is our struggle, so stay out of it!” I was happy to do so since I didn’t know anything about it anyway. Nobody I knew ever wore a keffiyeh in California, and it would have seemed bizarre to see non-Arabs and especially women wearing them. Now, apparently, Middle Eastern political actors have found it advantageous to share both the struggle and the keffiyeh, along with a host of anti-Israel, anti-American and antisemitic slogans, with students most of whom likewise don’t know anything about the Middle East.
One aspect that both the protests of the 1960s and today have in common is the demand for divestment and economic boycotts. In the anti-Vietnam War era we called for an economic boycott of corporations that supply war materials. Now the demand is for divestment from any company or organization that has economic ties with Israel. Whether these demands were feasible or effective strategy seemed irrelevant. Tony Fels, a student protest leader from the late 1960s turned history professor, in his article The Fog of Youth: The Cornell Student Takeover, 50 Years On, writes,
Whether peaceful or confrontational in design, nearly all these forms of campus activism framed themselves as “demands.” With the barest of exceptions, radical students showed little interest in putting forth proposals, making suggestions, or engaging in reasoned dialogue in order to bring about reforms at Cornell or in their wider communities. Leftists produced plenty of leaflets and other information, increasingly in the name of anti-capitalist or anti-imperialist ideals, aimed at attracting more students to their side, but their unstated goal was expression far more urgent than persuasion. Persuasion by its very nature proceeds slowly, whereas student demands were expected to be met immediately. Even negotiations were frowned upon as likely to lead to unacceptable compromise.*
The current protests against Israel are definitely framed as an us-versus-them fight, righteous students versus their “genocide complicit” university. Students demand and the university is expected to comply – or else! I don’t see any of the yearning for peace that we held as we sang Give Peace a Chance, Where Have All the Flowers Gone?, and Kumbaya. We were the tail of the hippie era and were about love, peace and sing-ins to accompany our sit-ins. Today, we hear harsh slogans and a call for more war, indeed a global intifada. The Students for Justice in Palestine’s website posts their objectives:
We seek a political framework that addresses collective liberation from Palestine to the Rio Grande. We believe the struggle for a free Palestine is also the struggle for Black liberation, gender and sexual freedom, and a livable and sustainable planet. All pursuits for freedom, justice, and equality are materially connected and require us to struggle against state violence, colonialism, capitalism, and imperialism, in all of their forms.
When they chant “from the river to the sea, Palestine will be free” I didn’t think the river was the Rio Grande! This language is reminiscent of Soviet and international communist phraseology. “All pursuits…are materially connected and require us to struggle …” is straight out of Marxist-Leninist literature that I was familiar with in the 1970s and thought would fade away after the breakup of the USSR and the decline of world communism, but apparently not. What a clever trick to try to connect your cause, whatever it may be, to a list of progressive causes! But, how Hamas’ attacks and ideology further “gender and sexual freedom” or “the struggle against state violence” is hard to fathom.
Despite my years of involvement with Left causes, I find the current anti-Israel protests jarring. They seem extreme and from my now Zionist point of view horrifying. The anti-Zionism is a threat to Israel and the accompanying antisemitism harmful to the Jewish people. As I wrap up, I want to share an example of this in our home on Yom HaShoah.
I live in a house with 9 other family members. Two of those are Michael (19) and Dean (18), who are brothers from the Philippines. They have been here one year and are graduating from public high school in a month. Back home they went to 11 years of Catholic school. They are both straight- A students.
Michael had a Dungeons and Dragons game meeting here at our house for 4 hours on Sunday with about 8 high school kids. As they were finishing up, one of the girls, in the course of the conversation, said “Jews are rats committing a genocide.”
Well, Dean overheard this and went up to his brother, and quietly urged him, “You have got to say something!” So, Michael took the girl over to our front door and pointed to our mezuzah and said, “This is a Jewish home.”
My son Ben was watching, and he reported that the girl looked mortified.
There is no doubt that youngsters are being influenced by the current climate.
But I very much appreciate my step-grandsons, who are turning into very ethical and capable young men. They give me hope.
*Fels, Tony, Professor Emeritus of History, University of San Francisco, The Fog of Youth: The Cornell Student Takeover, 50 Years On — Tony Fels
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On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Rabbi Mark Washofsky, PhD, discusses his new book, Reading Reform Responsa: Jewish Tradition, Reform Rabbis, and Today’s Issues, now available from CCAR Press or Amazon.com.
The responsa literature, in which rabbis answer questions about halachah (Jewish law), is a vast treasury reaching back nearly fifteen centuries; Reform rabbis have been writing responsa since the 1800s. In Reading Reform Responsa, Rabbi Mark Washofsky, PhD, presents a deep dive into this literature, boldly arguing that Reform Judaism is indeed a movement fundamentally based on halachah. By inviting and guiding readers to understand Reform responsa with a critical eye, he shows that our movement has always been informed by Jewish law as well as Reform history. A teacher and mentor of generations of students at Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion, Rabbi Washofsky gives us a peek inside his classroom, making Reform responsa — and their history, framing, and context — engaging and accessible for all.
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions.
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- Amazon Music About the GuestRabbi Mark Washofsky, Ph.D.Rabbi Mark Washofsky, PhD, is an emeritus professor of Jewish Law and Practice at Hebrew Union College–Jewish Institute of Religion in Cincinnati. He served as chair of the Responsa Committee of the Central Conference of American Rabbis from 1996 to 2017. He is currently the chair of the Solomon B. Freehof Institute of Progressive Halakhah. His publications include Jewish Living: A Guide to Contemporary Reform Practice, Reform Responsa for the Twenty-First Century (CCAR Press, 2010), and Reading Reform Responsa: Jewish Tradition, Reform Rabbis, and Today’s Issues (CCAR Press, 2024).
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פרשת קדשים
ויקראLeviticus 19:1 to 20:27
In reform congregations, this section is typically read during the Yom Kippur afternoon service.
In regular years, Parashat Kedoshim and the previous parashah, Achare Mot are read on a single shabbat. During a leap year in the Hebrew calendar (two months of Adar) the parashot are read separately, Achare Mot one Shabbat and Kedoshim on the subsequent Shabbat.
Note that none of the commandments or admonitions are directed only to an elite of priests. They are addressed to the entire community without exception, nobody’s burden is any more than or any less than anybody else’s.
Chapter 19 – The people are called to be Holy (Verses 1 through 8)
This section expands on the previous one. The people are called to emulate Gd in “holiness” (קדשים תהיו כי קדוש אני ה’ אלקיכם) and refrain from the sexual and religious practices and customs of the neighbors. Just as in Exodus (chapter 19, verse 6) we are not told what exactly is “holy”? How would you define Holiness (קדושים)? One suggested translation put forth by both Rashi and Maimonides is separateness, observing boundaries. Israel is separate from other peoples, Gd is separate from mankind, Holy ground is separate, etc. Of course, holiness is more than that, possibly encompassing the ritual rites that we are commanded to observe and the codes of behavior put forth in Leviticus.
Any idea why no part of the sacrifice can be eaten beyond the second day? This is presented as law with no explanation.
Basic rules of behavior (Verses 9 through 18)
Basic rules of behavior to maintain a just and peaceful society with accommodation for the less fortunate among us, including consideration of the handicapped. Many of these rules of behavior are unenforceable in a civil court, hence the constant reminder that you must answer to a higher authority.
Verses 9 and 10 include the injunction for landowners to leave the pickings from the corners of his fields, and not to return to the fields after the initial harvest to gather the remaining fruit. This is for the benefit of the poor and landless in the community. This rule applies to every landholder, from the rich and powerful to the smallest holder. The command is to leave the produce in the field, not to personally give the needy a handout. This permits the needy to remain anonymous and preserve their dignity.
Verses 11 through 15 – basic rules for honest business dealings and personal behavior.
Verse 16 is difficult to translate. ” “לא תלך רכיל בעמיך may command us not to engage in gossip. “ לא תעמד על דם רעך ” may command us not to stand aside when somebody is in danger, or alternatively not to profit from somebody’s misfortune.
Note in verse 18: We are not to bear a grudge, nor plot revenge. Good advice that for most of us is difficult to emulate in practice. Verse 18 continues with “Love your neighbor as yourself” (ואהבת לרעך כמוך). This line was paraphrased by two somewhat famous early 1st century C.E. gentlemen: Hillel “What is hateful to you do not do to your neighbor” and Jesus: “Do unto others as you would have them do onto you”.
Additional laws (Verses 19 through 28)
Many of the commands here are חוקים which are understood to be laws for which we may not be able to discern a clear rational basis (e.g.שעטנז ) as opposed toמשפטים for which the rationale is clear and unambiguous and usually relates to relations between people (e.g. Do not murder) as opposed to relations between man and Gd.
Prohibition against crossbreeding animals, mixing types of seeds in the same field, or clothing from different types of fiber (כלאים) only applies to Jews. It may be due to a pre-Darwinian belief that Gd made all species as they were at creation and so we must not alter the divine plan.
Prohibition to eat of a fruit tree during the first three years (and the fruit during the fourth year shall be offered to Gd). This possibly derives from the fact that in the first few years, the fruit would not be ripe for consumption.
Restrictions on hair and beard-cutting in line 27 (in particular, not using a razor) are strictly observed by Hasidim today.
Line 28 forbids body defacing, it is not clear if כתבת קעקעis properly translated as tattoos (as in modern Hebrew usage) or restricted to skin gashing, a view supported by the Gemara. Even more lenient interpreters that allow tattoos forbid it to include the name of Gd. This is the only reference to body defacing or skin cuts in the Tanakh.
Further rules for proper behavior (Verses 29 through 37)
Further rules for proper behavior in a just society. Note the command for fair and proper behavior to the stranger (גר – usually translated as convert) in your midst with a reminder that we were slaves in Egypt. This is the most repeated commandment in the Torah. We see in verse 32 the beautiful injunction to show respect (rise before) the aged (מפני שיבה תקום) and show deference to the elderly (ןהדרת פני זקן). These verses, as much of Leviticus, blends strict adherence to prescribed ritual practices and ethical behavior to ensure a just and tranquil society. The message that we should take away from this parashah is that ritual without moral behavior is not true Judaism. One compliments the other.
Chapter 20 – Prohibition to offer firstborn to Molech (Verses 1 through 8)
Much of Chapter 20 is an elaboration of items in Chapter 18 that we read in the previous parashah, although here the punishments for violation are detailed. This first section deals with the severe admonition not to offer the firstborn to Molech (a Canaanite god). Researchers debate if they actually sacrificed children or if this was perhaps some sort of ceremony, harmlessly passing a child over the fire.
Further prohibitions (Verses 9 through 27)
Decree of death penalty to anybody that curses (מקלל) his father or mother. A tad extreme, to say the least. The Rabbis of the Talmud could not negate a Torah law, so they put so many restrictions on it that it becomes effectively impossible to carry out this (or virtually any other) death sentence.
Further commandments, focusing on sexual and incestuous improprieties to assure that the Israelites do not follow the ways of the surrounding peoples.
Verse 13 prescribes severe penalty (death) for male homosexual relations. No reference is made regarding female homosexual relations. Was this tolerated?
Note the final section (20:27): The people are admonished not to have anything to do with ghosts or spirits (or rather their conjurers). Such beliefs would contradict serving the one true Gd of the Israelites.
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Introduction:
These rituals are intended for someone who is a caregiver, who spends his or her emotional and physical time and energy supporting and taking care of a loved one who is ill. This is a noble task, and one that requires immense strength and compassion. It is important that in the process of helping a loved one, caregivers remember to provide for themselves as well. Only if they feel spiritually, emotionally, and physically nourished will they be able to be an effective caregiver.
I have divided this ritual into three parts. They can be done sequentially, out of order, or at separate times. Each section contains a version of the Mi Sheberach prayer for healing, both for the one who is ill and the one who cares for them. The words here are a guide, a starting point for personal reflection and prayer. They are intended to provide comfort, support, and healing to the caregiver of someone who is struggling with illness.
Part 1
Morning
As you begin the day, you will be faced with the challenges of caring for your loved one. These words are intended to provide you with the mindset you need to begin your day, to begin your process of love and care and compassion.
Start with this ritual as soon as you have awoken, giving yourself time to feel refreshed and renewed. Sit up either in bed or in a chair, taking deep breaths and focusing on your beating heart as you say the words below.
Begin with words from Psalm 51, asking the Divine for guidance and support, and to be held in the hands of God.
| יב לֵב טָהוֹר, בְּרָא-לִי אֱלֹהִים; וְרוּחַ נָכוֹן, חַדֵּשׁ בְּקִרְבִּי. | | יג אַל-תַּשְׁלִיכֵנִי מִלְּפָנֶיךָ; וְרוּחַ קָדְשְׁךָ, [1] |
Lev Ta-hor b’ra-li, Eh-lo-him;
V’ru-ah na-khon ha-desh b’kir-bi
Ahl tash-li-khei-ni mil-fah-neh-kha
V’ru-ah kod-sh’kha ahl ti-kah mi-meh-ni.
Create for me a pure heart, God;
And the right spirit renew within me.
Don’t cast me away from your Presence,
Don’t take your Holy Spirit away from me.[2]
Once we have awoken, we can ask God to bless us with the strength we need to embrace the day.
As I awaken, let this be my thought:
May my day be filled with acts of lovingkindness.
Let me drawn to learning and discernment,
And may my actions be shaped by mitzvot.
Keep me from iniquity, disgrace and sin;
May I not be overwhelmed by temptation or despair.
Distance me from evil people and false friends.
Let me cultivate a life of goodness.
May my hands reach out in kindness,
And I will serve God through acts of righteousness.
Today and every day, may I merit your mercy,
By living my life with compassion and love.
Holy One of Blessing, draw me to Your words;
Teach me the art of sacred living.[3]
Continue to breath deeply, giving yourself time and space to be still.
This next passage can be sung (sheet music is attached), or read.
May the waters of healing
Flow through my (her/his) soul
May the waters of healing
Flow through my (her/his) heart
May the waters of healing
Flow through my (her/his) form.
Ah-na El na, please Holy One
R’fa na la Let your Healing be done
Ah-na El na, Please heal my (her/his) soul
R’fa na la let me (her/him) be whole[4]
End this part of the ritual by taking one more deep breath in and out, and reciting the following:
There is a tiredness
That sleep can’t reach
An all consuming weariness
That makes it
Difficult to do the simplest things
It comes with resignation
And despair
And of trying times
And all the times we didn’t try
Enough
It comes of drifting when
The current seems too rough,
When swimming’s not an option
Nor drowning either.
It comes from knowing and
Not knowing
And yet half remembering the
Spark of light and life
That made that state a challenge
Long ago.
There is a tiredness
That sleep can’t reach
And yet wakefulness is filled
With faded dreams
Replaying endlessly
In sepia tones
Blurred and formless
And never quite in focus
And then one day there is the first awakening
A gentle stirring
Not unlike the first faint
Signs of spring
A whispered word, a quiet hope
A sharper image
And a small resolve.
Day by day
And almost imperceptibly
It grows and blossoms
An unseen energy,
A new awareness
As the numbness disappears
And with the feeling comes
The pain
But in perspective now
It takes its place
As we take ours
The healing has begun.[5]
Part 2
Afternoon
As the day continues on, it is easy to become tired and emotionally drained. We lose steam as we continue to take care of our loved one. It is difficult work, and we sometimes need time to reconnect with ourselves, to take small moments to center ourselves and feel whole.
Take a few moments for silence, for stillness, and for quiet reflection.
Show me how to offer hope.
Open Your hand with the colors of faith
That I might begin to fill in spaces
To strengthen another’s life.
Show me how to offer comfort.
Point out Your nesting place,
Feathered against the adversities
That wound those I love.
Show me the direction
When I am lost,
Searching to help
But finding no paths
Show me tolerance,
When I weary of helping,
And a long dreary day
Stretches toward a restless night.
You place before us life and love;
Show us endurance.
You place before us healing and hope;
Show us persistence.
Reach deep within me, Eternal Strength,
And bring my strength to consciousness
Pull it around us
Let it radiate with your power,
Let it guide our way[6]
We can pray for the healing of our loved one, both physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
God of wholeness,
God of healing,
Hear [my] words,
Accept [my] prayers
Send a special blessing of healing
To [my loved one],
Among all those of Your children
Who are in need of
Your healing blessing[7]
Sometimes we feel lonely, as if perhaps nobody understands what it is we are going through. It is helpful to remember that we are held in the Divine presence, that God is holding us beneath God’s wings.
These words from Psalm 121 can be sung or read
| אֶשָּׂא עֵינַי, אֶל-הֶהָרִים– מֵאַיִן, יָבֹא עֶזְרִי. | | [8]ב עֶזְרִי, מֵעִם יְהוָה– עֹשֵׂה, שָׁמַיִם וָאָרֶץ. |
Eh-sa ei-nai el heh-harim
Mei-ay-yin ya-vo ezri
Ezri mei-im Adonai
O-she sha-ma-yim va-aretz
I lift up my eyes to the mountains:
Where will my help come from?
My help comes from Adonai
Creator of Heaven and Earth[9]
Taking space for ourselves and recognizing our own need for self care can be difficult, but it is vital to do so in order to be able to give the most of ourselves to our loved one. This prayer asks God for the courage and strength to seek those moments of respite, and to not be afraid to walk out of our loved one’s room momentarily in order to do so.
Adonai, I come seeking courage. The courage to combat despair, the courage to find sparks of light in each moment of suffering, and the courage to ask others for help when I can no longer see the sparks in the darkness.
Adonai, I come seeking the sacred balance of chesed (loving-kindness) and gevurah (strength). Sustain my empathy as I create the distance I need for my own healing. Help me hold onto light as I release the suffering that has taken root in my heart. Teach me about tiferet (harmony). Teach me that letting go, like holding on, is an act of love.[10]
Part 3
Evening
As we lay down to sleep, we may still have lingering fears or worries. Taking time before bed to decompress and re-center can allow a more restful night’s sleep.
As those who came before us were blessed
In the presence of the communities that sustained them,
So [I] offer [my] blessing for one needing support.
(name of loved one)
May your spirit be calmed
And your pain be eased
May you receive comfort
From those who care for you
And may you drink from the waters
Of the ever giving well.[11]
We ask God as we lay down to sleep to stay with us, to embrace us and keep us close.
O my God
My soul’s compassion
My heart’s precious friend
I turn to You
I need to close out the noise
The noise that interrupts—
The noise that separates—
The noise that isolates.
I need to hear You again.
In the silence of my innermost being,
In the fragments of my yearned-for wholeness,
I hear whispers of Your presence—
Echoes of the past when You were with me
When I felt Your nearness
When together we walked—
When you held me close, embraced me in Your love,
Laughed with me in my joy.
I yearn to hear You again.
In Your oneness I find healing,
In the promise of Your love, I am soothed.
In your wholeness, I too can become whole again
Please listen to my call—
Help me find the words
Help me find the strength within
Help me shape my mouth, my voice, my heart
So that I can direct my spirit and find You in prayer
In words only the heart can speak
In songs only my soul can sing
Lifting my eyes and heart to You
Adonai S’fatai Tiftah- open my lips, Precious God, so that I can speak with You again.[12]
The last part of our ritual before sleep tells God we need God’s presence, we need to be held and rocked and guided through this difficult journey of caring for a loved one who is ill. As we fall asleep, we know that we are being held in the hands of God.
The following can be sung (sheet music attached) or read.
Oh guide my steps
And help me find my way
I need your shelter now
Rock me in Your arms and guide my steps
And help me make this day
A song of praise to you
Rock me in your arms and guide my steps
שלומך סכת עלינו ופרוס
U-fros a-lei-nu suk-kat sh’lo-me-cha[13]
[1] https://mechon-mamre.org/p/pt/pt2651.htm
[2] “The National Center for Jewish Healing: Tools and Resources, http://www.ncjh.org/tools.html accessed 10 Oct. 2014.
[3]Elyse Frishman, ed. Mishkan Tefilah: A Reform Siddur: Weekdays, Shabbat, Festivals, and Other Occasions of Public Worship. New York: Central Conference of American Rabbis, 2007, page 39
[4] Rabbi Weiner Shohama, “Jewish Healing Song.” http://reclaimingjudaism.org/teachings/jewish-healing-song, Accessed. 12 Oct. 2014.
[5] Hain, Marcia Gaubman in Freeman, David L., and Judith Z. Abrams. Illness and Health in the Jewish Tradition: Writings from the Bible to Today. Philadelphia: Jewish Publication Society, 272
[6] Hara E. Person, ed. The Mitzvah of Healing, (New York: UAHC Press, 2003), 138
[7] Bikur Cholim Coordinating Council, About Being A Visitor http://www.bikurcholimcc.org/visiting4.htmlAccessed 10/9/14
[8] https://mechon-mamre.org/p/pt/pt26c1.htm
[9] The National Center for Jewish Healing: Tools and Resources, http://www.ncjh.org/tools.html accessed 10 Oct. 2014.
[10] Ritual Well, Mikveh Ritual for Caregivers, www.ritualwell.org, accessed 10/9/14
[11] Falk, Marcia in Freeman, David L., and Judith Z. Abrams. Illness and Health in the Jewish Tradition: Writings from the Bible to Today. Philadelphia: Jewish Publication Society, 111-112
[12] Hara E. Person, ed. The Mitzvah of Healing, (New York: UAHC Press, 2003), page 127-128
[13] Lyrics by Debra Winston
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A Yom HaShoah prayer-poem for 5784, in the form of a vision, imagining how the souls of murdered in the Holocaust might respond to the souls of the murdered in the Hamas shock assault of October 7, 2023. The Holocaust victims in heaven purposefully misquote verses from four Psalms–Psalms 121 and 129-131–reframing them as questions, rather than asserting them as statements of faith.
Yom HaShoah, תשפ’ד
In the precincts of heaven,
The Six Million assemble,
Guiding the newly murdered
To the sacred courtyards,
While the defenders of Israel stand guard
On the ramparts and at the gates.
As they approach the inner courtyard,
The multitudes sing psalms,
Not as praise, as questions:
Does the Guardian of Israel
Slumber and sleep? (Ps 121)
Will You cut the bonds of the wicked? (Ps 129)
From the depths I call out;
Do You hear my voice? (Ps 130)
Shall we put our hope in You? (Ps 131)
In the courtyards of heaven
The Six Million assemble,
Bringing with them the
Newly murdered.
With their blood and tears
They entreat the Holy of Holies:
Free the hostages.
Protect Your people.
Save our land.
To the living they declare:
Remember.
© 2024 Alden Solovy and ToBendLight
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Two months ago, I got in a little hot water while giving a drash on Parsha Ki Tisa. I was leading a service as the substitute for the regular Rabbi, at a congregation where I attended Shabbat morning services often.
My comments started by explaining that the portion opens with Moses being told to count the Israelites and collect from each person one half a shekel. In Exodus 30:15, that half shekel requirement is further clarified. “The rich shall give no more, and the poor shall give no less than half a shekel, with which to give the offering to the Lord, to atone for your souls.” Everyone, rich or poor, was to make an equal contribution.
I made my point: “How great is it that each person’s half-shekel is necessary, and therefore of value. It is truly a blessing. It tells us that everyone has something to contribute, everyone’s contribution is necessary to build the Sacred Mishkan, the dwelling place of the divine.
“We are all pieces of the whole. Unique, and the same. We are interdependent. When we contribute that half shekel, we become an integral part of the community.
“The half-shekel contribution removes our feeling of separation. Yet it also eliminates our arrogance and sense of self-importance. After all it’s only a half-shekel. It saves us from invisibility, yet it makes us indivisible. We are just as important as everyone else, but no more important. That no one was above or exempt from the law was clearly laid out as an organizing principal of Israelite society.”
That was certainly safe to say.
Then I added,” In case you haven’t heard, former president Donald Trump has lost an 83-million-dollar case in NYC. He intends to appeal, which means he has to post a bond in that amount. Everyone who appeals a judgement in the State of New York must post that bond.”
I continued with this commentary: “On Monday, he argued to the court that he did not have to post a bond because he was so rich. I guess he did not read this week’s Torah portion.”
One of the congregants sent me a message in the chat. He basically asked why I had to ruin a wonderful service by inserting my political opinion into the conversation. Then he left. I felt awful. After all, it was not my congregation, and I didn’t want to upset any of the congregants. I spoke to the Rabbi, and he said that the rule of thumb for the congregation was no politics from the pulpit.
As I thought about it, I could not help but wonder if that is a good rule. And if so, how broad a rule should it be?
So, I did some research and found that political conversations have entered our synagogues and been entertained by our clergy for many years.
When Napoleon’s army invaded Russia in 1812, Levi Yitzchak of Berditchev came out in support of because he would free the Jews from the Czar. The Lubavitcher Rebbe, Schneur Zalman, supported the Czar, because he thought the liberation would be a threat to continued following of the faith. Two learned Hasidic Rebbes took opposite positions on a very political issue.
On January 4, 1861, after South Carolina seceded, President Buchanan called for a day of fast and prayer to think about how to save the union. Speaking at a fast day program in Baltimore where he led a congregation, Rabbi Dr Bernard Illowy, a leader of Orthodox Judaism in the US, said, “Who can blame our brethren of the South for seceding from a society whose government can not, or will not, protect the property rights and privileges of a great portion of the Union?”
His views were like those of most southerners. But his sermon was based on Jewish principles, in this case Dina D’Malkhuta Dina, the law of the land is the law. Jews must obey the civil laws of the country in which they reside.
Another Rabbi, Morris Jacob Raphall, the leader at the Greene Street Synagogue in New York (now B’nai Jeshurun), spoke in favor of slavery from his pulpit, taking the position that Judaism sanctioned slavery: amongst other proof texts he cited the Tenth Commandment prohibiting coveting your neighbor’s male or female slave; the fact that all the patriarchs had slaves, and the many regulations in the Bible about how slaves should be treated. But at least he thought the Bible view of slavery was that the slave is a person who has rights.
Rabbi David Einhorn took the opposite position. A leader of the Reform movement, he wrote and preached his anti-slavery views. He made it clear that Raphall’s and Illowy’s positions were not official policy of American Judaism. He argued that slavery was immoral, was not endorsed by Judaism and in fact was inconsistent with Jewish values. His fiery sermon on April 19, 1861, delivered in his own Baltimore synagogue, caused a riot (Maryland was a slave state). Einhorn had to flee to Philadelphia as the mob wanted to tar and feather him.
In our lifetimes, many of us (boomers) watched religious leaders speak out against the Vietnam Nam war. Many rabbis took positions against the war from the pulpit, and some marched in the streets with the anti-war protesters.
I remember my discussions with the Hillel rabbi, who refused to do either. I thought he was in a perfect position to give guidance to the student body. He thought taking a stand might alienate some students, and alienating a single student was an unacceptable result.
Jewish leaders have often found opposing positions about political issues. The rabbis mentioned argued about the largest political issues of their day. They argued the issues on moral grounds, on Jewish principles and on tribal concerns.
It is clear we have to be sensitive to the diversity of views in our community, but don’t we have an obligation to raise all kinds of issues, and then teach about them from a Jewish point of view?
Thomas Jefferson’s famous letter said that the constitution created a “wall of separation between church and state.” The concept came from John Locke, the 17th century philosopher, who argued the state should separate itself from the church. Not the other way around.
The state’s role was to protect the rights of its people. He said the church’s role was to provide the state with citizens of high moral character. How can our religious institutions teach morality if the leaders are prevented from speaking on those political issues that bring a Jewish sense of morality into question?
In reflecting on this, Rabbi N. Daniel Korobkin, a Rabbi in Toronto gives an “absolute and resounding yes” to rabbis discussing political issues. He says, “If we listen to the political pundits on Fox News and CNN, whose opinions are informed by their own biases and preconceived notions (and I would add, by their salaries) won’t we want to listen to what our Rabbi says. The Rabbi’s opinion is enlightened by the Torah.”
I assert rabbis should not shy away from discussing the important issues just because they may have political ramifications. But they should not endorse political candidates. There is law on that.
Non-profit organizations, under section 501(c)(3), are prohibited from directly or indirectly participating in, or intervening in, any political campaign on behalf of, or in opposition to, any candidate for elective public office. No institution should risk its not-for-profit status. There are also practical reasons why a rabbi should not be making political endorsements. Any endorsement may anger or upset a number of congregants.
Candidate support becomes a membership retention issue and a pastoral availability issue. A rabbi’s office must be a safe place for everyone. As one rabbi remarked, synagogue rabbis should remain politically pareve.
It is often said that the Torah is a political document. It is political in that it calls for people to live life in pursuit of justice, especially for the poor, the widow, the orphan and the stranger. Our foundational texts condemned evil and spoke on behalf of the vulnerable and the oppressed.
But although the Torah may be political, it is neither liberal nor conservative. Both liberals and conservatives claim support out of different parts of Torah.
As Jews, we assert multiple positions from single passages. Nowhere in the Torah can we find specific answers to contemporary issues. It could not contemplate appeal bonds, school shootings and border crossings.
But we can receive guidance, and we can be taught about Jewish principles that could be applied to each of those things. I for one welcome conversations from our rabbis that are filled with compassion and reason and speak out against any politics that supports hatred and bigotry, overlooks historical truths, and demands special treatment for powerful people.
Living in the US, which prides itself as a nation of laws, I think that pointing out that no one is above the law is a conversation that could and should place in our synagogues.
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On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Shira Zemel, Abortion Access Campaign Co-Director for the National Council of Jewish Women, discusses the organization’s efforts to protect women’s reproductive freedom.
Since its founding, NCJW has been a leader in the reproductive health and rights movement, and while much advancement has been made in the past 100 years to legally secure a person’s right to abortion and contraception, there is so much more that needs to be done to truly ensure reproductive freedom for all.
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions.
Listen to the Audio PodcastYou can listen to the audio podcast version in the player below, or subscribe to the podcast in one of the popular platforms by clicking one of the buttons below the player.
- Apple Podcasts
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- Amazon Music About the GuestShira ZemelShira Zemel is the Co-Director of National Council of Jewish Women (NCJW)’s abortion access campaign, the coordinated Jewish movement for reproductive health, rights and justice. In this role, Shira activates and mobilizes the Jewish community to take action for abortion access.
Prior to coming to NCJW, Shira was the Director of Youth Leadership Development at the Religious Action Center of Reform Judaism (RAC). There, Shira led the L’Taken Social Justice Seminars; these high school leadership conferences–focused on advocacy, Jewish values, and the legislative process–bring 2,000 students to Washington D.C. each year to lobby their members of Congress. Over nearly eight years at the RAC, Shira transformed these seminars into the centerpiece of a leadership development pipeline to foster the next generation of Jewish social justice advocates.
Shira serves as president of the ARCH board, a local abortion fund serving patients seeking care in northern Virginia. When not getting into good trouble and fighting for a just world, Shira enjoys curating feminist yard signs for her front lawn, listening to news and politics podcasts, and working on seasonal craft projects–preferably with her two young kids.
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פרשת אחרי מות
ויקראLeviticus 16:1 to 18:30
This week, we are introduced to Yom Kippur, or at least how it was presumably practiced before the temple was destroyed. Traditional Jews read this parashah on Yom Kippur morning. Reform Jews substitute Deuteronomy Chapters 29 and 30 (Moses’ final address to the people) because, in this week’s portion, the priest is called out to make expiation, the people are almost passive spectators, not actively contemplating or atoning for their sins or shortcomings.
Chapter 16 – Deaths of Nadav and Avihu (Verses 1 through 5)
After previously delving into the issue of ritual purity, this week’s portion begins by expanding on the narrative after Aaron’s two oldest sons were struck down for carrying foreign or alien fire (אש זרה) into the sanctuary when not authorized to do so. This section seemingly offers another explanation for the deaths of Nadav and Avihu: They apparently entered on their own initiative, without authorization. Even entry by Aaron is not countenanced unless he is carrying out the prescribed sacrificial rituals. The text also implies that they may not have been properly attired in the priestly garb, inclusive of a linen tunic and a linen turban. These may possibly be the source of both the white garment worn by men at traditional Yom Kippur services as well as the headdress worn by the cantor..
Priests offer atonement (Verses 6 through 28)
Note that before beginning the ritual to offer expiation for the peoples’ sins, the priest first has to offer atonement for his own sins and those of his family.
The description of the protocol (to be strictly followed on pain of getting zapped) for the sacrificial offerings by the priest includes the Custom of sacrificing a goat (עזאזל -Azazel). This unfortunate animal is to be loaded with the peoples’ sins and sent off into the wilderness. Some commentators interpret that the goat was then pushed off a cliff to its death. The act of using a scapegoat as a sin offering survives in the practice of some ultra -orthodox Jews to perform the ritual of Caparot (כפרות). Thankfully, in most orthodox communities, excluding the most fundamentalist, the distasteful practice of swinging a live chicken around and then slaughtering it has been replaced by charitable giving.
Introduction to Day of Atonement (Verses 29 through 34)
This paragraph sets the date for an annual day of atonement (יום כפור). It also has the commandment that it shall be a day of rest and self-denial. This will be a practice for all time. Each year the person who inherited or was appointed the mantle of high priest shall perform the sacrificial ceremony according to the strict rules as defined (or else!) and make atonement for all the people.
The Rabbis of the Talmud held that the rites of Yom Kippur atone for unintentional sins. Atonement for sins against people must be preceded by a good faith effort to rectify the wrong and to seek forgiveness from the wronged individuals.
Chapter 17 – Laws for slaughtering of animals (Verses 1 through 16)
This section defines the law for slaughtering animals, whether for food or for sacrificial rites by the common (non-priestly) people. All such acts or burnt offerings are only to be made at the Tent of Meeting by the priests. Obviously, that is not practical in a settled society, much less a dispersed one. For that reason, based on Deuteronomy 12:15-16, Rabbis have interpreted this to apply only to the time of wandering in the desert, when everyone was in reasonable proximity to the tent of meeting. It may also date to shortly after the return from Babylon following the first exile, when the small group of returnees was in proximity to the destroyed first temple. Later, secular slaughtering was permit ted on condition that the blood is drained and not consumed.
Sacrifices to foreign idols are forever banned. Similarly, partaking of blood by any member of the House of Israel or any resident stranger is forbidden. Similarly, blood must be drawn from a game animal or bird that is hunted for food. Note that later Talmudic interpretations do not forbid hunting per se (perhaps as a sport) but unless the bird or animal is slaughtered In a prescribed way to minimize suffering, it may not be consumed. Penalties for consuming blood were severe, being spiritually cut off יכרת) -probably banished) from his people. Finally, it is forbidden for a member of the House of Israel or even an outsider who lives among them to eat an animal or bird that has died by natural causes or has been torn by beasts. Could this possibly be a pragmatic prohibition as there is a good chance that such an animal or bird is diseased or rancid?
Chapter 18 – Prohibition against following foreign ways (Verses 1 through 5)
The Israelites are commanded not to follow the ways of the Egyptians or the Canaanites. The Jewish people has always faced the conundrum as to which laws and customs of the ambient populations to follow or adopt, and which to reject. This is a warning that has modern relevance. To what extent should we, as a people, assimilate with the surrounding peoples and ambient cultures? While Maimonides, a student of Aristotle, advised that we should seek truth and knowledge regardless of its source, perhaps we should also bear in mind this admonition that an openness to learn from others should be selective, and not be blind adaptation of alien practices and mores. While there is much to learn from those around us, there is also much that our Eastern European forefathers (and foremothers) would have dismissed as “Goyim Naches”.
Forbidden sexual relations (Verses 6 through 20)
This section catalogs forms of sexual conduct that are forbidden to Israel. As we shall see, most of the prohibitions are accepted by contemporary Reform and Secular Jewry and are the law of most western countries.
Verses 12 to 14: Marriage to or intimacy with one’s aunt or step-aunt is forbidden. Recall (Exodus 6:20) – Moses’ father Amram married his aunt Jochebed. Why is this mentioned in the narrative? Especially as it is only one in three times that the Torah mentions the women when recounting genealogies. There is no prohibition against marriage between a man and his niece. Some Rabbinic authorities actually encouraged the later practice in the belief that keeping the marriage in the family would lead to stronger bonds. Both such unions (Avunculate marriages) are forbidden by most (but not all) societies. Other Rabbinic authorities asserted that even though the prohibitions as stated in the Torah are described from the male point of reference, the prohibitions apply equally to women.
Verse 18 – Marriage to sisters is forbidden. This calls to mind the marriage of Jacob to both Leah and Rachel.
Verse 19 – Prohibition to have relations or even approach a woman during her period. This practice is strictly observed by Orthodox Jews. In many orthodox circles, a woman undergoing her period cannot even be touched until she immerses herself in the mikveh and becomes ritually clean.
What is concerning are the types of sexual violations that are not specifically forbidden here, such as a father violating his son or his daughter.
Prohibition against child sacrifice (Verse 21)
It is believed that child sacrifice was prevalent among the Canaanite nations.
Prohibition against male homosexual relations (Verse 22)
Here we have the prohibition of homosexual male-male relationships (the Torah is silent about female-fem ale relationships). For many, or perhaps most contemporary readers, this is most troubling. Before reacting, we must hold in abeyance our 21st century norms and consider the pragmatic realities of a hardscrabble bronze age agrarian society with a high mortality rate. A contemporary Conservative commentator, the late Rabbi Jacob Milgrom proposed that the tribe, facing high mortality rates could only survive if sexual acts were focused on procreation. Young males that did not procreate represented a danger to the future viability of the tribe and must be discouraged forcefully. For most orthodox commentators, a literal translation means that homosexuality must be regarded as an abomination, yuck, phooey. By way of example, see the commentaries on this section in the Artscroll Stone Edition). As we shall see next week, Chapter 20 even calls for the transgressors to be stoned, although there is no evidence that such a sentence was ever carried out. Some commentators, struggled to understand how a just and caring Gd can demand punishment for a condition that the perpetrator has no real control of. Some rabbinic interpretations have tried to soften or rather harmonize this section, claiming that this prohibition and consequent punishment relates to abhorrent acts performed by Canaanites in their temple practices. Others suggested that this prohibition was to forbid relationships between grown men and boys as was common and accepted among the Greeks and others. I think that the simple and unambiguous Hebrew text does not support these interpretations and rationalizations. The Torah reserves the word תועבה for what it defines as abominable acts such as this forbidden sexual relationship.
Prohibition against carnal relations (Verses 23 through 30)
Prohibition against carnal relations by either sex. Chapter 18 ends with a final exhortation and warning. It should be noted that the prohibition of incest is not rooted in nature as mammals in the wild have no such inhibitions. Neither the Torah nor the Talmud prohibit mating an animal with any other of its species, regardless of relationship. Incestuous prohibitions are the preserve of humankind and perhaps especially the Jewish people. Most, but not all cultures had incest laws. Early examples include the laws of Hammurabi. Still, no ancient set of such laws is as extensive as in Leviticus 18.
The two preceding books of the Torah (Genesis and Exodus) include marriage relations that are now and henceforth forbidden. (e.g: Abraham marrying his half-sister Sarah, Jacob marrying two sisters – (Leah and Rachel), the father of Moses, Amram marrying his aunt Yocheved. Curiously, in many cases civil law goes beyond Leviticus. By way of example, most states, including Pennsylvania forbid first cousin marriages. Other states (e.g. New Jersey) allow them.
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Author’s note: The great debate about whether our life is shaped by our choices or free will doesn’t really exist is highly relevant for people over age 60. This is when we become more aware, and often distressed, that we are in the last chapter of our mortality, with its many risks to our quality of life. In the precious time we have left, can we live it to our liking and aspirations, or is it too late to be the master of our life?
From my perspective at age 80, I‘ve identified four major mindset and lifestyle patterns that people over 60 can find themselves living – passively ending up in them, or consciously and actively selecting their best option. I invite you to look at your Self to determine which choice you have made and if you want to stay the course or change it – before it’s too late. In the form of an accessible poem, I’ve described what I view as the four major choices awaiting seniors.
Your Choices shape your life! … you have no Free Will!
That’s the debate … confusing or giving you a thrill
Among the states of mind directing life’s course
Of the options one of them you must endorse
Drift, Dementia, Death, Delight made my list
Sculpting our journey to either flourish or exist
Drift happens when we redo what we’ve done
Whether resulting in pain, boredom or fun
Worshipping Routine … safe yet no room
For better practices to make a life bloom
Time occupied … as life’s quality slides downhill
Until escaping via busyness, alcohol or a pill
Dementia takes hold as the mind stops working
Science explains how the brain’s not perking
Or see the disease as an Unconscious Solution
When living isn’t valued we reverse our evolution
What am I? Who are you? What are we doing?
Entrapped in a fog … bewildered in a dream
Death strikes causing life’s flame to go out
Coming as a surprise or heading to a final rout
Substituting a dark space of pure nothingness
Or imagining Heaven’s paradise or Hell’s distress
Living without purpose the walking dead types
Death wields the sword to silence their gripes
Delight is the way I aspire to live before I expire
Celebrating love, joy, peace feeds my fire
Enjoying a light touch to navigating this life
Emphasizing fulfillment … minimizing strife
At a higher level aglow with spiritual Light
Guiding the ride with inspiration and insight
Larry Rosenberg, in his new role as The Wisdom Troubadour, is passionate about writing personal poetry that appeals to seniors who want to celebrate and clarify the final chapter of their life. If you have an issue facing seniors, please let me know what it is and I shall consider if for my next poem. Feel free to contact him at larryros@gmail.com or 928-202-0010.
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We would like to invite you for our second conversation on the spiritual issues that emerge as we get older.
Topics* OY GEVALT! If it isn’t one thing, it’s another. * The challenges of dealing with loss and transitions as we age.
All too often these discussions go unmet. We invite you to join us to have a non-judgmental and open conversation, drawing on the power and strength of our Jewish texts.
This free webinar will take place on Zoom, with an opportunity for audience members to ask questions of the presenters.
There is no cost to attend, but we do need you to register. Click the button below to register, and you will receive Zoom information after you complete the registration.
Date: Wednesday, May 23, 2024, 4-5.30 pm EDT/3-4:30 CDT/2-3:30 MDT/1-2:30 PDT
Click here to register for this Zoom webinarWe look forward to sharing our time with you.
About the Workshop LeadersRabbi Mark Howard LevinRabbi Mark Howard Levin is a native of Baltimore, Maryland. Graduated in 1971 from Boston University, magna cum laude with distinction in religion, Rabbi Levin received his Master of Arts in Hebrew letters from Hebrew Union College – Jewish Institute of Religion (HUC-JIR) in 1974, his Certificate in Jewish Communal Studies in 1974 (Los Angeles), and was ordained in 1976 (Cincinnati). Most recently, Rabbi Levin completed his Doctorate of Hebrew Letters through HUC-JIR in New York in May, 2001, and his honorary Doctor of Divinity in 2001 in Cincinnati. He has been the congregational Pulpit Rabbi for Congregation Beth Torah since its inception in 1988 up until his retirement from this position in June 2014. In July 2014 he accepted the position of Beth Torah’s Founding Rabbi. Rabbi Levin is the father of three children and grandfather of two grandchildren. He is married to the former Kacy Childs-Winston, the mother of Kyle and Seth Winston. Rabbi Levin serves on several local boards and writes religion columns for the Kansas City Star, and answers questions for the “Ask the Rabbi” service of the Union of Reform Judaism.
Rabbi Richard F. Address, D. Min.Rabbi Richard F. Address, D. Min, is the Founder and Director of www.jewishsacredaging.com. Rabbi Address served for over three decades on staff of the Union for Reform Judaism; first as a Regional Director and then, beginning in 1997, as Founder and Director of the URJ’s Department of Jewish Family Concerns and served as a specialist and consultant for the North American Reform Movement in the areas of family related programming. Rabbi Address was ordained from Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion in 1972 and began his rabbinic career in Los Angeles congregations. He also served as a part time rabbi for Beth Hillel in Carmel, NJ while regional director and, after his URJ tenure, served as senior rabbi of Congregation M’kor Shalom in Cherry Hill, NJ from 2011-2014.
A major part of Address’s work has been in the development and implementation of the project on Sacred Aging. This project has been responsible for creating awareness and resources for congregations on the implication of the emerging longevity revolution with growing emphasis on the aging of the baby boom generation. This aging revolution has begun to impact all aspects of Jewish communal and congregational life.
Rabbi Address was ordained at the Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion (HUC-JIR) in Cincinnati (1972) and served congregations in California before joining the staff of the Union for Reform Judaism (formerly the Union of American Hebrew Congregations) in 1978. He directed the Union’s Pennsylvania Council from 1978 through 2000. In 1997 he founded the Department of Jewish Family Concerns and went full time in New York in January of 2001.
In May 2023, Rabbi Address received a Certificate in Advanced Concepts in an Aging Society from Davis School of Gerontology, University of Southern California.
Rabbi Address received a Certificate in Pastoral Counseling from the Post Graduate Center for Mental Health in 1998 and his Doctor of Ministry from HUC-JIR in 1999. He also received his honorary Doctorate from HUC-JIR in 1997.
In January of 2007 he was awarded the “Sherut L’Am” award by the Kalsman Institute for Judaism and Health. He teaches classes in Jewish Family issues and Sacred Aging at the New York campus of HUC-JIR.
In 2024, he received the I.M. Wise Award for Achievement from the Denver, CO, Reform Jewish community.
In March 2010, Rabbi Address was awarded a Best Practices in Older Adult Programs: First Place by the National Council on Aging-Interfaith Coalition on Aging.
Rabbi Address contributes articles for web sites on issues related to spirituality and aging. He co-chairs the Committee on Spirituality and Diversity for C-TAC (Coalition to Transform Advanced Care), and serves as Rabbinic Advisor to Men of Reform Judaism. For four years, he hosted a weekly radio show in Philadelphia called “Boomer Generation Radio,” which is archived in podcast form on this website. Beginning in winter 2018, Rabbi Address began hosting a weekly podcast, Seekers of Meaning, dedicated to discussing issues related to aging, spirituality and the impact on families, and congregations.
Rabbi Address has authored numerous articles, book chapters and books related to the issue of aging.
The post Live Webinar, 05/23/2024, 4 p.m. US EDT: Reflections on Our Long and Winding Road appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
When an intermediate day of Passover (חול המועד פסח) falls on a Shabbat, in place of the weekly Torah reading (פרשת השבוע), the following two Torah portions are read: Exodus (שמות) 33:12 to 34:26 and Numbers (במדבר) 28:16 to 28:25. If more than one torah scroll is available, customarily each portion would be read from a separate scroll.
Portion One: Read from Book of Exodus (שמות)
Chapter 33 – Moses is allowed to view a hint of Gd’s glory (Verses 12 through 23)
Here (33:18), Moses makes what may seem like an outlandish request from Gd: He (Moses) said “please show me your greatness (glory may be a more fitting translation” (ויאמר הראני נא את כבדך).
Perhaps, like his kinsmen in constructing the golden calf, Moses wanted the reassurance of a god that was visible and approachable. In response we have an anthropomorphic description of Gd. Is this intended to be taken literally? Why cannot man see His Face and live? Would the knowledge or realization be too overpowering or “mind blowing” for a mortal to behold?
Note that Moses is not so humble after all, and dares to make demands of Gd.
The late Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks interpreted this section as declaring that man cannot presume to fully know or understand the mind of Gd or why he delivers or withholds grace. Rabbi Sacks further states that Stephen Hawking was mistaken in stating that even if we could obtain a full understanding of the working of the cosmos (if such a thing is even possible) we would still not understand “the mind of Gd”. Of course, Hawkins, like Einstein, used the term “Gd” euphemistically.
Chapter 34 – Moses alights the mountain a second time (Verses 1 through 7)
Moses must prepare a second set of stone tablets. The first set was prepared by Gd. Since Moses smashed them, he is responsible to prepare a second set. Is this a form of penance?
Moses alights a second time up Mount Sinai. Gd passes before him. From the Hebrew (34:6 “ה’ ה’ אל רחום וחנון ארך אפים ורב חסד ואמת …”), it is not clear whether Gd or Moses proclaims ” … Gd compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in kindness and faithfulness, …”. Is this truly a description of the Gd of the Torah? These lines have been inserted in the High Holidays liturgy. Perhaps it is not so much an assertion of Gd’s characteristics but a plea for Gd to act in such a manner towards us. In contemporary terms, this may be a plea to Gd to “cut us some slack”. Your thoughts?
34:7 is usually translated as ” … visits the iniquity of the fathers upon the children … upon the third and fourth generation ( פקד עון אבות …).” Is the intent that descendants bear personal guilt or is responsibility a better translation? The (orthodox) Artscroll edition translates עון as “recalling the iniquity”.
Gd makes a covenant with the Israelites (Verses 8 through 17) Moses again appeals to Gd to pardon His people. Gd makes a covenant, promising to drive out the inhabitants of the land promised to them. There is a warning to the Israelites to beware of fraternization with them as they will be ensnared in their ways. Not a very politically correct section! The section also contains a warning (34:14) that he is either a jealous or an impassioned Gd (depending on how you translate קנא).
Listing of commands (Verses 18 through 26)
Verse 18 – Seven-day Festival of Matzoh (חג המצות) to commemorate the exodus from Egypt
Verse 19 to 20 – Every male firstborn, livestock or human, belongs to Gd. Sons to be redeemed (source for פדיון הבן ceremony observed by traditional Jewish communities).
Verse 21 – Sabbath is a day of rest, even during plowing and harvest time.
Verse 22 – Observance of Festival of Weeks or Shavuot (חג שבועות) to commemorate the first offerings of the wheat harvest. (Note: Following the Babylonian exile, Rabbis designated Shavuot to commemorate the giving of Torah).
Verse 23 to 24 – Three pilgrimage festivals for all the males (no reference to females – sorry ladies), the (unrealistic) promise of divine protection of the frontiers during these holidays.
Verse 25 – The sacrificial holiday of Passover (זבח חג הפסח), here distinct from Festival of Matzoh.
Verse 26 – Command to bring the first fruits to the temple and one of the three times the Torah entreats us not to boil a kid in its mother’s milk.
Portion two: Read from the Book of Numbers (במדבר)
Chapter 28 – Obligatory Passover sacrifices (Verses 16 through 25)
Gd dictates to Moses detailed instructions for S the obligatory sacrifices to be offered during the Passover pilgrimage festival. No explanations are offered as to the reasons for the offerings, the protocols, or the contents.
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On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Rabbi Ammiel Hirsch, senior rabbi of the Stephen Wise Free Synagogue in New York, discusses the upcoming second annual Re-Charging Reform conference, being held at the synagogue May 29-30.
The conference expects to consider these key topics:
- Israel’s and world Jewry’s confidence in the importance of the Zionist enterprise and its most basic promise — to protect the lives, liberty and dignity of Jews;
- Our liberal values and examine the partnerships we’ve spent decades building in pursuit of social justice;
- Liturgy and spirituality, anchoring them to eloquent expressions of Jewish peoplehood and a yearning for Zion; and
- Educational models that guide the next generation in valuing the significance of Israel and the Jewish people to our identity as Reform Jews.
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions.
Listen to the Audio PodcastYou can listen to the audio podcast version in the player below, or subscribe to the podcast in one of the popular platforms by clicking one of the buttons below the player.
- Apple Podcasts
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- Amazon Music About the GuestShahar Azan PhotoRabbi Ammiel HirschRabbi Ammiel Hirsch is the senior rabbi of Stephen Wise Free Synagogue in New York City. With a fiery voice, a listening heart and a brilliant mind, Rabbi Hirsch articulates a clear vision for the survival and success of American Judaism while tending compassionately to the needs of his growing congregation.
Internationally recognized for his leadership in Jewish affairs, Rabbi Hirsch is frequently cited in the media. In 2018, The Jerusalem Post named him among “The 50 Most Influential Jews of the Year.” City & State praised him as “the borough’s most influential voice” for Manhattan’s more than 300,000 Jews and The New York Observer named him among “New York’s Most Influential Religious Leaders.”
The son of Rabbi Richard G. Hirsch z’’l and Bella Hirsch z’’l, Rabbi Ammiel Hirsch grew up in the Washington, D.C., metropolitan area before moving to Israel for his high school years. From 1977 to 1980, he served as a tank commander in the Israel Defense Forces.
Rabbi Hirsch earned his LL.B Honors law degree from the London School of Economics and is a member of the New York State Bar. He received his ordination at the Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion in New York City, where he was granted numerous awards for academic excellence.
Prior to his arrival at Stephen Wise, he served for 12 years as executive director of the Association of Reform Zionists of America (ARZA), the Israel arm of the North American Reform movement.
Rabbi Hirsch has served on numerous boards of national and international bodies, including the Jewish Agency for Israel, the World Zionist Organization, the Conference of Presidents of Major American Jewish Organizations, and the Central Conference of American Rabbis. He is currently an officer of the New York Board of Rabbis, and a member of the Partnership of Faith, an interfaith body of New York religious leaders, and New York State Attorney General Letitia James’ Black-Jewish Clergy Roundtable.
An accomplished teacher and public speaker, Rabbi Hirsch is also the co-author of the acclaimed One People Two Worlds: A Reform Rabbi and an Orthodox Rabbi Explore the Issues that Divide Them.
The post Seekers of Meaning 4/26/2024: Rabbi Ammiel Hirsch discusses 2024 RE-Charging Reform Conference appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
The thread that connects Passover to Shavuot is the Counting of the Omer. For so many, the counting is a relic of the past which we remember by merely mentioning the number of days that have elapsed. For me, it is much more. The Haggadah tells us that “we were slaves unto Pharoah in Egypt.” Deuteronomy says, “I make this covenant, with its sanctions, both with those who are here with us this day before the Eternal our God and with those who are not here with us this day.” Inspired by these words, I relive the journey from Egypt to Sinai, from slavery to freedom, from Passover to Shavuot by giving meaning to each day by making the Counting of the Omer count. The first day of each week is a time of reflection. The Shabbat of each week is a time to focus on a particular aspect of Shabbat. On each of the other days of the week, we focus on a trait which will help to make us a better person.
Counting the Omer Calendar 2024/5784
Week One of the Omer CountingCount Day 1 on Tuesday night April 23
Reflection: What has been the most challenging part of this past year?
Count Day 2 on Wednesday night April 24
Focus on Love of Learning
Count Day 3 Thursday night April 25
Focus on Curiosity
Count Day 4 Friday night April 26
Experience Shabbat by resting body and mind.
Count Day 5 Saturday night April 27
Focus on Perspective
Count Day 6 Sunday night April 28
Focus on Multidisciplinary Thinking
Count Day 7 Monday night April 29
Focus on Creativity
Week Two of the Omer CountingCount Day 8 Tuesday night April 30
Reflection: In what ways are you being called to journey forth right now?
Count Day 9 on Wednesday night May1
Focus on Courage
Count Day 10 Thursday night May 2
Focus on Perseverance
Count Day 11 Friday night May 3
Experience Shabbat by unplugging
Count Day 12 Saturday night May 4
Focus on Honesty
Count Day 13 Sunday night May 5
Focus on Enthusiasm
Count Day 14 Monday night May 6
Focus on Bravery
Week Three of the Omer CountingCount Day 15 on Tuesday night May7
Reflection: What have been the detours on your life’s journeys?
Count Day 16 on Wednesday night May 8
Focus on Social Intelligence
Count Day 17 Thursday night May 9
Focus on Kindness
Count Day 18 Friday night May 10
Experience Shabbat by spending quality time with family
Count Day 19 Saturday night May 11
Focus on Empathy
Count Day 20 Sunday night May 12
Focus on Humanity
Count Day 21 Monday night May 13
Focus on Love
Week Four of the Omer CountingCount Day 22 on Tuesday night May 14
Reflection: Write about an experience you have had in your life of not knowing. What were the lessons of that period?
Count Day 23 on Wednesday night May 15
Focus on Fairness
Count Day 24 Thursday night May 16
Focus on Teamwork
Count Day 25 Friday night May 17
Experience Shabbat by observing Shabbat dinner ritual.
Count Day 26 Saturday night May 18
Focus on Leadership
Count Day 27 Sunday night May 19
Focus on Taking Initiative
Count Day 28 Monday night May 20
Focus on Social Responsibility
Week Five of the Omer CountingCount Day 29 on Tuesday night May 21
Reflection: In your journey right now, what obstacles are you experiencing? How can you overcome them?
Count Day 30 on Wednesday night May 22
Focus on Prudence
Count Day 31 Thursday night May 23
Focus on Humility
Count Day 32 Friday night May 24
Experience Shabbat by attending a service.
Count Day 33 Saturday night May 25
Focus on Self-control
Count Day 34 Sunday night May 26
Focus on Temperance
Count Day 35 Monday night May 27
Focus on Forgiveness
Week Six of the Omer CountingCount Day 36 on Tuesday night May 28
Reflection: What is the vision that you have about who you want to become and embody at this moment in your life?
Count Day 37 on Wednesday night May 29
Focus on Optimism
Count Day 38 Thursday night May 30
Focus on Gratitude
Count Day 39 Friday night May 31
Experience Shabbat by reading or discussing a Jewish topic.
Count Day 40 Saturday night June 1
Focus on Humor
Count Day 41 Sunday night June 2
Focus on Spirituality
Count Day 42 Monday night June 3
Focus on Appreciation of Beauty
Week Seven of the Omer CountingCount Day 43 on Tuesday night June 4
Reflection: Looking back over this past year, what have you learned about yourself?
Count Day 44 on Wednesday night June 5
Focus on Mitzvah (Conscious acts of empathy and kindness)
Count Day 45 Thursday night June 6
Focus on Tikkun Olam (Repair of the World)
Count Day 46 Friday night June 7
Experience Shabbat by taking a walk in nature.
Count Day 47 Saturday night June 8
Focus on T’filah (Prayer)
Count Day 48 Sunday night June 9
Focus on Torah (Study)
Count Day 49 Monday night June 10
Focus on Tzedakah (Charity)
WE HAVE ARRIVED!
Erev Shavuot: Tuesday, June 11
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On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Rabbi Address offers a Pesach message and some questions for conversation around the Passover table.
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions.
Listen to the Audio PodcastYou can listen to the audio podcast version in the player below, or subscribe to the podcast in one of the popular platforms by clicking one of the buttons below the player.
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- Amazon Music The post Seekers of Meaning 4/19/2024: A Passover Message from Rabbi Address appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
As Passover approaches, are you like me and fall asleep to planning the holiday meal? And if you are also like me, do you try to introduce new dishes that will bring happy smiles to those who share your sacred dinner? No one wants to think your guests will go home saying, “She served the same meal last year and the year before…!”
Like so many Jews, we were raised that cooking for your loved ones is a gesture of love, passion and caring. It is approached with seriousness because not only does it make us recall the meaning of each holiday celebration but it reminds us of the starving kids in Europe, as my Bubbie used to say, and how blessed we are to have the abundance of fresh/healthy foods to choose from.
And this year it is so apparent that there are starving kids in the 21 Century, a thought that is so shocking to comprehend. People in Afghanistan, Sudan, Yemen, Ethiopia and other countries, suffer from shortages of food. World hunger is real. How difficult this realization is for us to serve large/joyous meals. And yet, how blessed we are that we can.
As Jews, this Passover shouts Let My People Go and comes closer to home with the Israeli conflict still in full force while the Hostages are still in captivity. The words have never been more electrifying than they are now in real time. Bring Them Home has become the new mantra and a familiar song that many young people can identify with from a favorite Broadway musical, Les Misérables. I heard one teen say, “I now get the Bible stories I’ve been taught and Bring Them Home touches my heart in a new and heartfelt way.”
How devastating that Central World Kitchen suffered the loss of workers who were just trying to feed people and then lost their lives. No words can convey the sadness for doing a humanitarian mitzvah. I’ve been a donator to this wonderful organization and encourage others on this Passover to share your abundance with them.
May I suggest this year that we are cognizant of people’s food issues! Please know that it’s not uncommon at later ages to suddenly develop dairy and gluten issues that can make one very ill. I know because I recently found out I can’t eat anything with cow’s milk (goat and sheep milk are okay!) and nothing with wheat. I’ve discovered gluten-free products and my favorite is Yehuda Gluten-Free matzos! They actually make the best fried matzah because they stay crispy and are great for matzah kugels! Not a soggy matzah in the bunch! For dairy substitutes, I suggest coconut milk, dairy-free cream cheese and melting the two together makes a great sauce!
Food is not just about eating, it touches our lives in a variety of ways. But as we plan for Pesach, let’s be aware that food is absolutely about LOVE! Love of taste, love of cooking, love of sharing the cooking process with others, love of eating, love of celebrating and most importantly on this Passover, love for others who don’t have the choice to share the celebration with their loved ones or enough food for their table.
From my table to yours, Chag Sameach. And prayers to Bring Them Home and enough food for everyone…Sandy
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פרשת מצרע
ויקראLeviticus 14:1 – 15:33
Note: In regular years, Parashat Metzora and the previous parashah, Tazria, are read on a single Shabbat. During a leap year in the Hebrew calendar (two months of Adar) the parashot are read separately, Tazria one Shabbat and Metzora on the subsequent Shabbat.
Chapter 14 – Purification of affected individual (Verses 1 through 11)
Priest has no apparent duty in the recovery of the afflicted individual (המצרע) but has a protocol to judge him טהר (usually translated as “clean”, but in the spiritual, not hygienic sense, so purified may be a better translation). The priest shall perform or direct a ritual (including two birds, one to be slaughtered and one to be set free), similar to the sacrificial ritual involving two goats for Day of Atonement )see next week’s parashah) and then allows him to enter the camp, but not his home, for an additional week, at which point he offer sacrifices, including two male lambs without blemish. Substitutions are permitted for poorer members of the community. Note that in this time period that precedes modern (or even medieval) medical science, certain skin ailments as described were not considered a disease per se, but due to a spiritual failing. Being banished outside the camp gives the afflicted individual a specified time out to reflect on his spiritual failings that brought down his condition.
Many commentators, including Rashi subscribed to the interpretation that Tazria is a physical ailment brought about due to a spiritual weakness, including but not limited to gossip and slander ( לשון הרע- malicious speech, literally “bad tongue”). For that reason, Rashi reasons that the constant chirping of birds is symbolic of incessant gossiping between two or more people. Hence the requirement to sacrifice two birds.
Guilt, Sin, and Burnt Offerings – (Verses 12 Through 32)
One of the male lambs to be sacrificed shall be a guilt offering (אשם). Note consideration for those of limited means. Instead of offering two additional lambs, one as sin offering (חטאת) and one as burnt offering (עלה), he can substitute two turtledoves or two pigeons.
Ritualistic Procedures for Afflicted House (Verses 33 Through 57)
Practical procedures to determine if a house is afflicted with tzarat (may be physically manifested as mold or mildew, but as with the bodily affliction described above, it is due to a spiritual failing) and if so, how to localize and remedy, if possible, or demolish if not possible. For that reason, the homeowner cannot make the determination that the house is afflicted based on his own observations. He must approach the priest and state “something like an affliction has appeared in my house” (כנגע נראה לי בבית).
Biblical scholars presuppose that this section may have been written or modified during the Babylonian exile since mold was more common in the humid fertile crescent than in relatively dry Judea. Addition of sacrificial rites, etc. that may have spiritual value, but no practical value may be vestiges from ancient practices and rituals that the people were used to and accepted and are now “tacked on” to more practical measures to assure buy-in and compliance. As the possible need to condemn and demolish a house is always a possibility in the event of mold infestation, and as this would be a devastating financial tragedy for most of the people who were living at a subsistence level (homeowners’ insurance was still several millennia away J), a Priest was required to make the determination as he held Gd given authority.
Ritualistic Procedures for Male Defilement (Verses 1 Through 18)
Male defilement, either caused by “discharge from the flesh” (זב מבשרו – such as puss from a wound or burn) or emission of semen (תצא ממנו שכבת זרע) and the ritualistic remedies. Is there any pragmatic basis for considering such contact as defilement or is this purely ritualistic?
Ritualistic Procedures for Female Defilement (Verses 19 Through 33)
Female defilement (זבה דם), caused by her period and the ritualistic remedies. Note that this practice survives among observant Jews through the practice of ritual purity. As the Temple no longer stands, sacrificial offerings at the conclusion of her period have been replaced by immersion in the mikvah.
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On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Rabbi Peter Kasdan and Dr. Liz Etkin-Kramer discuss Yodeah.org, their online portal for genetic screening and counseling of Jewish families for the BRCA gene and other genetic markers for cancer risk.
Ashkenazi Jewish men and women are disproportionately more likely to carry hereditary genetic mutations that can markedly increase their lifetime risk of cancer. Most people are not aware, and most will not have a family history. Yodeah’s mission is to educate the Jewish community about hereditary cancer genetic mutations and provide access to affordable, clinical grade testing. Yodeah’s goal is to save lives. Knowledge is power. Knowledge saves lives.
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions.
Listen to the Audio PodcastYou can listen to the audio podcast version in the player below, or subscribe to the podcast in one of the popular platforms by clicking one of the buttons below the player.
- Apple Podcasts
- YouTube
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- Amazon Music About the GuestLiz Etkin-Kramer, M.D., F.A.C.O.G.Dr Liz Etkin-Kramer is a board certified gynecologist in South Florida.
In addition to her private practice, she is an assistant professor of obstetrics and gynecology at FIU Herbert Wertheim School of medicine and she holds leadership positions in Florida’s district XII of the American College of Obstetrics and Gynecology. She founded Yodeah.org, a nonprofit dedicated to educating the Jewish community on their increased risk of carrying hereditary cancer genetic mutations and facilitating cost effective genetic testing.
With the late Lauren Corduck, founder of One in Forty, she co-founded the Prevent Hereditary cancer coalition. In 2020 she was appointed to the American College of Obstetrics of gynecology presidential task force on knowledge gaps in breast and ovarian cancer risk assessment, management and genetic testing, and created educational videos for practicing OB/GYNs.
She is passionate about breast and ovarian cancer risk assessment, early detection and prevention.
RABBI PETER E. KASDANRabbi Peter E. Kasdan was named Rabbi Emeritus when he retired in July 2001, after serving as Rabbi of Temple Emanu-El of West Essex, Livingston, New Jersey, for thirty years. Known, most widely, for his social justice work, he helped create and was the first president of both the Livingston Interfaith Clergy Association and the Livingston Interfaith Council, as well as the Founding President of NJRC AR (the New Jersey Religious Coalition for Abortion Rights). Taking the title “Rabbi-teacher” seriously, he relished the time he spent working with the B’nai Mitzvah students, as well as with his students in the Confirmation/Post-Confirmation Program. He also taught more than a dozen Adult B’nai Mitzvah classes, helping 187 Adults study in a two-year cycle and enabling them to reach that unique moment in their Jewish lives that, as children, for whatever the reason, they never had the chance to attain.
Since his retirement, Rabbi Kasdan has remained quite active in a variety of endeavors in which he remains passionate: in the search for social justice, continuing his life-long efforts on behalf of the migrant worker community, specifically his support of, and personal friendship with the late Cesar Chavez and the multi-generations of the Chavez-Rodriguez family; in the growth and achievement of our children through his support of NFTY, JFTY’s Urban Mitzvah Corps and the URJ’s Kutz Camp; in his bond with K’lal Yisraeyl, supportive of the welfare of the People and State of Israel, especially through the survival of the Ethiopian Jewish community now living in Israel. He served on the Commission of Social Action of Reform Judaism, on the board of ARZA / World Union, North American Board, as President (and now President Emeritus) of the Scholarship Fund for Ethiopian Jews, and as the Rabbinic Advisor of the Jewish Genetic Disease Consortium, the Canavan Foundation as chair of The Central Conference of American Rabbi’s Taskforce on Jewish Genetic Disease. He was the recipient of the UAHC’s Fund for Reform Judaism Distinguished Service Award, a NFTY Life Membership awarded in 1984 and, in 2007, he was awarded the Central Conference of American Rabbi’s Rabbi Samuel Cook Award for Lifetime Service to Youth Work and, as he retired, Temple Emanu-El awarded him the Temple Emanu-El 2001 Shofar Award for his life-long work in the area of Social Justice and Tikkun Olam.
Rabbi Kasdan and his wife Sheila have lived in Longboat Key, Florida since 2002. There he continues his life-long service to both the Jewish and general community. He is Past-Chair of the Longboat Key Policeman’s Pension Board and currently serves as Secretary of the Longboat Key Consolidated Pension Board and, because of Florida State requirements, is now a Certified Public Pension Trustee. He served as President of his condo association and currently serves on the Bioethics Committee of the Sarasota Memorial Hospital. He also serves as Chair of the Speakers Committee at his and Sheila’s local congregation, Temple Beth Israel of Longboat Key.
The post Seekers of Meaning 4/12/2024: Rabbi Peter Kasdan and Dr. Liz Etkin-Kramer from Yodeah.org, providing genetic cancer counseling for Jewish families appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
As a hospice chaplain for 25 years, I have had the honor and privilege of being with individuals facing their last hours.
From my experience, I have found that Viddui, the traditional prayer recited at this sacred time, failed to bring even a modicum of support, peace, or comfort — what they are searching for at this difficult time.
My version below seemed to be accepted with a greater degree of calm.
A New Viddui
אלהי נשמה שנתת בי טהורה היא
כל זמן שהנשמה בקרבי, מודה אני לפניך
My God, the soul You have given me is pure.
And someday You will take it from me, restoring it to everlasting life.
As long as spirit breathes in me, I offer thanks before you.
My God, God of those who have gone before me, I thank You for the life You have given me, full of blessings and love.
I understand and acknowledge that life and death are in Your hands.
Forgive my weaknesses and for the good deeds and acts of loving kindness that I never took the time to do.
Please recall the acts of kindness I did do.
Forgive me for those whom I have wronged – family members, friends, and others.
And God, before it is too late, accept my forgiveness to those who have wronged me.
I pray that You judge my life as I lived it, as worthy, knowing that I left much undone.
May it be Your will that I no longer sin, and with Your great mercy cleanse me of my sins – those I know about and for those of which I do not know.
Protector of the bereaved and the helpless, watch over my loved ones, with whom my soul is intertwined.
When You choose to end my life, please let it be peaceful, painless and swift.
God, hold me in Your arms as I pass from this life to the next.
יהוה מלך, יהוה מלך, יהוה ימלוך לעולם ועד
God reigns; God has reigned; God will reign for ever and ever.
ברוך שם כבוד מלכותו לעולם ועד
Blessed be God’s name whose glorious dominion is forever and ever.
יהוה הוא האלהים
Adonai is God.
שמע ישראל יהוה אלהיו יהוה אחד
Hear, O Israel, Adonai is our God, Adonai is One.
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The first five books of the Bible, traditionally attributed to Moses, are also known as the “Written Torah,” dictated by God and transcribed by Moses. Later came the “Oral Torah,” consisting of 2,711 mishnayot, traditionally held to have been spoken to Moses on Mount Sinai, and then passed down orally to successive generations of Jewish leaders, until they were faithfully written down about 1,500 years later, as the foundation of the Talmud.
These two Torahs are the heart and brain of the Jewish religion. But the provenance and history of these scriptures is rather far from the traditional notion. The “Written Torah” is now believed to have been written, compiled, and edited in the seventh and sixth centuries B.C.E.—although there’s no way to know how long its components existed in oral form. The mishnayot emanated from the ideas and oral traditions of the pharisees/rabbis, developed over several hundred years after the return from the sixth century exile. The first Torah was heavily concerned with matters of the Temple and priesthood, written for Jews whose main interaction with God was through sacrifices and cultic rituals. The second Torah was written for Jews forced into the diaspora after the destruction of the great Temple (70 C.E.) and the disastrous Bar Kochba uprising (~130 C.E.); it contained an arcane and detailed exploration of all the extant Jewish beliefs and folkways, as well as a somewhat fanciful version of what Judaism was like while the Temple still stood.
My sense of Jewish history is that these two Torahs are inflection points in an ethical evolution that began in the middle- or late-Bronze Era and extends to the present day. Those under the priestly yoke of the first Torah were told that the rules enforced in the temples were commandments from God and were administered without mercy. Those under the yoke of the Talmud, however, learned the art of disputation and legal argument; it became possible for a group of rabbis to reject a “divine message.” The answers to our ethical/legal questions are “not in heaven,” they learned. And when God heard this, he laughed and said, profoundly, “my children have defeated me!”
This ethical evolution moved the ancient Jews to increasingly rely on the aspect of life that is said to most in the image of God: Reason. Judaism has been a vector of ideas, replacing one system of thought with a more recent and current set of newer ideas — often called interpretations, so as to retain respect for the prior system.
Through the Middle Ages, Talmudic Judaism became increasingly elaborate and arcane. To master it required years of study, as well as a high IQ and an exceptional memory. Not surprisingly, it spawned anti-intellectual and mystical reactions, more accessible to the unlearned and superstitious. Still, though, the main version of Judaism (and there have always been multiple versions) remained highly legalistic and comprehensive. The underlying assumption was that for every choice a Jewish person could make, there was a decision most pleasing to God; the warrant for this Godly choice could be found in the two Torahs and the library of canonical commentaries. The goal was to anticipate every possible ethical decision and provide the right course of action; when entirely new problems presented themselves, a panel of scholars would prepare a responsum that amended or supplanted the existing law. Thus, an “orthodox” Jew knows not only what pant-leg to put on first (the right) but also how many times a Jewish astronaut circling the earth several times a day must daven.
This ethical system, which still seems to serve millions quite well, began to face some serious opposition in the 16th and 17th Centuries. On the one hand, scientific discoveries challenged the coherence of many Biblical ideas and the conception of God that they implied. (The earth simply did not exist before the sun.) And eventually science and scholarship undermined sacred beliefs about the provenance of the Written Torah, and, by implication, much of Talmud. The Torah, it became clearer and clearer, was the work of Judean writers, not of God or Moses. And the Bible, always fascinating and frequently instructive, was to be regarded not as a magical object but as a…BOOK!
At the beginning of the Age of Enlightenment (roughly 1650-1800), Baruch Spinoza wrote an analysis of the relationship between church and state (Tractatus Theologico-Politicus) in which he assaulted the idea of the divine selection of monarchs, showing that such was incompatible with freedom of thought. Along the way he wrote the first extended work of Bible Criticism, in which he concluded:
I hold that the method of interpreting Scripture is no different from the method of interpreting Nature, and is in fact in complete accord with it… The task of Scriptural interpretation requires us to make a straightforward study of Scripture, and from this, as the source of our fixed data and principles, to deduce by logical inference the meaning of the authors of Scripture … allowing no other principles or data for the interpretation of Scripture and study of its contents except those that can be gathered only from Scripture itself and from a historical study of Scripture.
In short, the Bible is a book, like other books. When it is inconsistent, contradictory, or ethically suspect, it deserves the same treatment we’d apply to any other intellectual text. This conclusion causes some people to conclude that the Age of Enlightenment begins with Spinoza’s Tractatus; it is an era in which philosophy and science are prized over religion and tradition, where baseless claims are discounted as superstition, and the Bible and Talmud are neither necessary nor sufficient for the pursuit of ethical insight.
And “ethical insight” is the central issue here. I agree with Rabbi Mordechai Kaplan’s definition of Torah as “everything written for the ethical education of the Jewish people.” And that is why I nominate Spinoza’s Ethics as a candidate for the third Torah, a further inflection point in the history of Jewish ideas.
It is beyond the scope of this little essay to describe or explain the Ethics. Like any respectable Torah it rewards a lifetime of study with ever-richer insights. But I can outline its parts to introduce it to those who are curious. Like the Written Torah, the Ethics is presented in five books, each the logical foundation of the next — like an immense Euclidian proof:
Book 1: Of God
Spinoza’s God is not outside the universe; rather, everything in the universe is a mode or aspect of the substance God. Human beings perceive God as Nature or, more precisely, Natural Law. Far from being supernatural, God and Nature are two names for the same thing. Natural law, moreover, is inviolate (by definition) and deterministic.
Book 2: On Mind
Spinoza attacks the notion that mind and body are separate substances or entities, also know as Cartesian Dualism. The mind is part of the body, also subject to natural law, and therefore incapable of free, or uncaused, action. Not only can there be no afterlife, but also there is no free will and, moreover, our senses and feelings are usually untrustworthy.
Book 3: On Emotions (Passions)
Ideas shaped by our immediate passions and emotions are untrustworthy because they make the mind passive; such ideas are contingent and inadequate. Ideas formed by eternal feelings, however, like the “intellectual love of God,” are adequate and, in a sense, immortal.
Book 4: Of Human Bondage
Humans are bound by their passions—love, hate, jealousy…–and unable to make rational decisions. That is why peaceful society seems almost impossible.
Book V: The Power of Reason
Only Reason can deter and offset the effects of the passions and guide correct ethical decisions. The goal of life is to live in such a way that Reason, Virtue, and Freedom are three names for the same thing.
Spinoza himself would be enraged at such a proposal, at the suggestion that his work was a Jewish book. Although he began life as a brilliant Torah/Talmud scholar, he eventually reached the conclusion that, while the goal of religion is obedience, the goal of philosophy is non-sectarian truth. The Ethics, however, I (as a Spinozan Rabbi) believe is the next stage beyond Rabbinic Judaism, and, like Albert Einstein, I find it to be filled with “Living Jewish Intelligence.”
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On this week’s ENCORE broadcast of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, South Jersey resident Bill Fisher discusses his wife Carol’s terminal illness and decision to use New Jersey’s Medical Assistance in Dying (MAID) option.
Carol had been a nationally recognized book editor until her retirement in 2016. (You can read her obituary in the Philadelphia Inquirer here.)
Their lives took a dramatic change back in fall 2016, when Carol was diagnosed with brain cancer. Luckily Carol was able to take advantage of a clinical trial at Jefferson Hospital in Philadelphia. She responded well to the experimental vaccine which kept her cancer in check for 7 years. Less than 10% of patients with this form of cancer ever survive this long.
However, in the past year, the Carol’s cancer re-emerged and difficult decisions needed to be considered for the final months of Carol’s life.
Luckily Carol’s faith and support from medical professionals, family and friends helped Carol and Bill navigate the difficult decisions necessary in participating in New Jersey’s Medical Aid in Dying (MAID) program.
With a diagnosis of less than 6 months to live and diminishing functionality, Carol chose to end her life in the comfort of her own home in the presence of her family.
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming Service
You can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions.
Listen to the Audio PodcastYou can listen to the audio podcast version in the player below, or subscribe to the podcast in one of the popular platforms by clicking one of the buttons below the player.
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- Amazon Music About the GuestBill FisherBill Fisher is a retired real estate executive who was trained as an architect and spent most of his professional life managing the planning, design and construction of commercial, industrial and medical buildings in the mid-Atlantic and Southwest United States and London, England. He currently resides in South Jersey where he and his wife, Carol Fisher raised their two children Haddon and Lauren.
The post ENCORE BROADCAST: Seekers of Meaning 3/8/2024: Bill Fisher discusses Medical Assistance in Dying (MAID) appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
I’ve discovered the sooner we accept “The Only Constant in Life is Change,” the less blind-sided and disappointed we will be!
Add to that, Disney’s insistence that “Someday My Prince will Come” and society’s (circa 1950s) “Stay at your job until you are ready to retire, receive your gold watch and spend your remaining days in a rocking chair enjoying life,” while being sure our expectations of enjoying the golden years was a given!
NOT!
And every time Barbara Walter’s (may she rest in peace) said, “THIS IS 2020!” we Baby Boomers saw in our multi-plex minds a beautiful pastel-colored rainbow filled with happy days, grandchildren surrounding us while free of financial and medical woes!
NOT!
I am dismayed at the number of friends I have who are suffering with, “I didn’t expect retirement/OLDER age to be so hard! I thought that’s what our 20s were for!”
NOT!
For so many, there has been no contentment while sitting in that rocking chair gazing into the sunset, while grandchildren are scattered across the country, downsizing costs more than staying in the big house you raised your family in and the price for medical treatment for all the senior aches and pains is more expensive than that big house you raised your kids in!
YES! YES! And MORE YES!
-Family Zoom visitations are real
-Medical insurance hassles are real
-Relocating to be near the grandkids and having to make new friends are real
-Old friends dying are real
-The price of a carton of milk and loaf of rye bread — IF we can even have a glass of milk (dairy issues) or a piece of rye bread (gluten issues) — I can’t have either— are real!
-Political discontent along with, “This isn’t the United States I grew up in!” and we thought the 60s were ruckus! are real
YES! ALL REAL!
Oy vey! What’s a Baby Boomer to do?
A dear friend’s 40ish year-old daughter and her husband recently had their first child, a blessing to the family. My friend went out-of-state to visit and was dismayed at how her daughter was as a new mother! Now being the “Good Jewish Mother” she was, she kept her mouth shut! She had never realized how rigid her daughter was. Her daughter set up a time schedule for the baby with no thought as to the baby’s needs and when the baby didn’t want to eat, the new mom became agitated and thought something was wrong with the child. The only advice my friend gave was that when the baby was hungry, he would eat. Her daughter wouldn’t accept that.
After 10ish days, the baby started to get into a feeding routine and everyone was happy. The new mom was content and told her mother that it would be easy sailing from then on. My friend told me she had to go out for a walk because she didn’t want to laugh in front of her daughter because she knew as real as the sun was soon to set, that as soon as the parents got comfortable in the baby’s schedule, the baby’s schedule would change! She promised herself to keep her mouth shut and let the little family learn on their own.
The Only Constant in Life is Change!
Recently I was informed by a family member who owns the condo I rent, that it is going up for sale! Blindsided! I thought I was in my forever home!
NOT!
So in my mid-70s, I had to pack up my life in way too many boxes, spend hours/days/weeks looking for a place to live that was affordable — DON’T EVEN ASK! — in a safe neighborhood, with lots of natural light, lots of cupboard space for my kitchen stuff, shelves for my books and lots of wall space for my furniture and art, and all in a month! I never knew what aches and pains were until I was schlepping books into boxes, wrapping art pieces and tchotchkes, along with the overwhelming decisions as to what to keep, what to sell, what to donate.
I was blessed to find all of the above wants and needs in a lovely condo, except not all my furniture was going to fit.
So along with the stress of a move and the decisions that go along with it, plus spending time online and on the phone for CHANGE OF ADDRESS, turn off/on the electricity, get the TV/internet set up, I lost sleep over what to keep and what not to keep.
First was my Mother’s Hope Chest she got in 1942 when she got engaged! It’s a cedar chest and smells and looks brand new. I only use it for storage and it lives in a garage storage area. I couldn’t bear to part with it and no other family members had the space. I was thrilled when my new place had room in the garage for it. (Too big for inside the house.)
Then there was my beloved dining room set that I’ve had for 48 years. It’s a very Palm Spring-ish looking set, white bamboo-looking metal chairs and base with a glass top. I have never tired of it but most importantly, I raised three children with it in our kitchen, had decades of holiday dinners and parties where loved ones gathered in the dining room to eat, celebrate and laugh. It was not going to fit in the new dining room or kitchen. I know it’s just a piece of furniture but it has history. My history. My family history. If it could only talk. I let my son handle the sale of it and I left the house when the new owner came to retrieve it, I couldn’t watch it leave my life.
Next was my red couch. A big, comfy red couch that is still in perfect condition that my grandkids played on, watched TV with me, sometimes slept on. Memories. I was thrilled when my daughter in Oregon said she would have someone pick it up and drive it the 615 miles for her and her family to enjoy.
And most importantly was my Bubbie’s soup pot. I don’t even know how old it is because I never remember her making chicken soup in anything else, going back to my earliest years. It is so big, it needed an oversized space to live in! My new dining room set only seats four, and my children have taken over hosting all the holidays, I will probably never use Bubbie’s soup pot ever again, and the children all have fancy name-brand cook ware, so I had to find a closet/cupboard for Bubbie’s soup pot because that is the one thing I could not part with. It is our family history all in one pot that’s been filled with so many chickens and matzah balls.
Bubbie’s soup pot is a constant in our family history/legacy, and that will never change.
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On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Rabbi Joel Soffin discusses his new book, The Mitzvah on Your Forehead: A Rabbi’s Journey to Improve the World.
In The Mitzvah on Your Forehead, Rabbi Joel E. Soffin presents life stories that invite the reader to follow his journey as he shares his experiences and insights into family, community, and social action worldwide. Luminaries in the Jewish world as well as inspirational leaders from all walks of life provide commentary on each of his essays. From discussing personal ethical decisions to relating experiences such as those with Rwandan genocide widows and Ethiopian Jewish immigrants, the stories and essays in this book are thought-provoking, entertaining, and inspirational. Rabbi Soffin contends that each one of us has a unique mitzvah “on our forehead,” a special calling or ability to make life better for others. Here, you’ll discover many of them and perhaps, ultimately, your own. In a world where there is so much chaos and pain, this book is a helpful reminder that we all, both individually and collectively, can find ways to be of service in making the world a better place.
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions.
Listen to the Audio PodcastYou can listen to the audio podcast version in the player below, or subscribe to the podcast in one of the popular platforms by clicking one of the buttons below the player.
- Apple Podcasts
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- Amazon Music About the GuestRabbi Joel E. SoffinRabbi Joel E. Soffin has been a life-long social activist, addressing the needs of the poor and the vulnerable in many places around the world. He initially studied economics and has a PhD pending at Yale.
In 1971, he began his studies for the rabbinate at Hebrew Union College – Jewish Institute of Religion in New York City where he was ordained in 1976. Three years later, he became the Rabbi of Temple Shalom in Succasunna, NJ. While there, he developed a long series of social action projects, rescuing and resettling Vietnamese boat people and Soviet Refuseniks, supporting the Argentinian Jewish community of Mendoza and the Zvenigorodka community of Ukraine and providing over a million meals to Ethiopian Jewish children waiting to make aliyah to Israel.
Rabbi Soffin also created the Adult Mitzvah Corps of the Reform Movement and the teen Bonim Banim – Building Youth projects, organizing weeks of Jewish Religious Living in New Orleans and several other American cities, including home building and restoration projects.
Upon his retirement from Temple Shalom in 2006, generous donors enabled him to create Jewish Helping Hands to continue his important social action work around the world, especially in East Africa and Israel. He often serves as a teacher, mentor and Scholar-in-Residence.
He has been at the Barnert Temple in Franklin Lakes, NJ, since 2006, serving as Sabbatical Rabbi, Torah and Talmud teacher.
In his recent book, The Mitzvah on Your Forehead, he and some of his fellow travelers reflect on his personal and professional experiences and the lessons he has learned along the way. . Rabbi Soffin attributes his passion for social action and all of Jewish life to his mother, Sarah Soffin, may she rest in peace. He has been married to Sandy for more than fifty-five years. They have two sons and six grandchildren.
The post Seekers of Meaning 3/29/2024: Rabbi Joel Soffin, author of “The Mitzvah on Your Forehead” appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
Memories are nonlinear. There are certain circumstances that arise that send us back in time to another age or another space. It can be a new experience, feeling, smell, song, piece of art, literature, or photograph that transports us.
Many of these memories are not necessarily accurate. They are pieces that reflect the spirit of these moments and sometimes may be reframed in a more desirable way. Two people can witness the same event and process it quite differently. They may also wish to relive the event with a heightened sense of nostalgia.
I wonder about long term and short-term memory. I too find it puzzling when I vividly remember something that happened over 20 years ago yet have difficulty recalling what I did yesterday.
I see this in hospice care. Short term memory is so fleeting for so many and there seems to be a simplicity when patients share the tapestry of their lives.
Dementia is a debilitating condition that affects both individuals and families. It is also nonlinear. There are waxing and waning days of clarity. Sometimes the right song, smell, or picture can transform a moment in surprising ways.
The greatest mitzvah and one of the hardest things to do is to meet someone where they are. Especially if we are talking about our loved ones. It is so difficult to sit in this space feeling helpless and powerless to change the current set of circumstances.
Perhaps one opening is curiosity. To allow something new to emerge. I have been blessed to experience brief moments of the ineffable in such trying times.
One that comes to mind is last Passover. It was the second seder night and I was invited to dinner in the Delaware County area. I was working in Broomall and getting ready to chart my visits in preparation for the evening. I received a phone call from a colleague asking me to visit a potential patient who happened to be Jewish.
There was a knowing inside me that this request was more than just the ordinary. It was a Jewish patient in a facility in Montgomery County, on another hospice service, on a holiday, and I had dinner plans. What are the odds? This felt like a calling.
It was one that I answered even though there was great resistance in me. It was a shlep to go to Montgomeryville, it wasn’t my patient, it wasn’t my area, it wasn’t even a company patient. My day was supposed to end early…, yet I went. I’m glad I went.
The patient was located in bed wearing oxygen, unresponsive, nonverbal, and his wife was sitting by his side. I sat with his wife discussing her husband’s disease progression, her 54-year marriage with him, and his pastoral care needs.
As she was speaking with me about family and their relationship a butterfly decal fell from the window. When I asked his wife about butterflies she shared that her mother, who had passed away, was close with her husband and her mother liked butterflies.
I sat down next to her husband, read from a Haggadah since it was Pesach, and played Debbie Friedman’s Mi Shebeirach. Her husband who hadn’t spoken for about a month began to mouth the words along with the prayer. He started to speak and shared that he was a teacher at his synagogue. We chatted for a while and said the Shema together.
I ended the visit allowing his wife to have this valuable time with him as he appeared to be rallying. As I exited the room, I saw a man standing outside the door. He may have been the patient’s hospice chaplain.
I know in my heart that I was called to be his Jewish chaplain for the day. I will always treasure my experience with him and his family praying together. He passed away two days later and he never signed onto our service. I am grateful that I was called to remember. May his memory be for a blessing.
The post A Memory not to be Passed Over appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Linda Fodrini-Johnson, author of The Empowered Caregiver: Practical Advice and Emotional Support for Adult Children of Aging Parents, discusses strategies for families to engage in elder care discussions and decision-making.
Taking responsibility for the healthcare, safety, and financial affairs of our parents as they near the end of their life is an immense undertaking and comes with challenges, logistics, and stresses that we don’t always know how to navigate. We want to provide the best care we can and make the right decisions for our parents, but we need tips, tools, and education around this and help and encouragement as we do it. The Empowered Caregiver is a pocket support guide specifically designed to provide you with strategies and solutions for caring for your aging parents. It offers useful interventions to frame your thinking, help you manage difficult situations, and reduce your stress as your parents decline and need greater assistance.
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions.
Listen to the Audio PodcastYou can listen to the audio podcast version in the player below, or subscribe to the podcast in one of the popular platforms by clicking one of the buttons below the player.
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- Amazon Music About the GuestLinda Fodrini-JohnsonLinda Fodrini-Johnson became a licensed family therapist and professional certified care manager in 1984, was president of the National Association of Professional Geriatric Care Managers—now called Aging Life Care Association—and founded Eldercare Services, a full-service care agency in the San Francisco Bay Area that provides care management, home care/caregiving services, advocacy, counseling, support groups and education. She was director of the Dementia Respite Center—one of the first in the San Francisco Bay Area—and pioneered the multi-award-winning Early Stage of Dementia Program.
Her eldercare expertise has been featured in newspapers like the Contra Costa Times, East Bay Business Times and San Francisco Business Times as well as national magazines including Consumer Reports, Forbes, Kiplinger’s, USA Today and The Wall Street Journal.
The post Seekers of Meaning 3/22/2024: Linda Fodrini-Johnson, author of “The Empowered Caregiver” appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Rabbi Dayle Friedman, founder and director of GrowingOlder.net, a resource website for seniors, discusses her practice in Alzheimer’s Disease and dementia care for elders.
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions.
Listen to the Audio PodcastYou can listen to the audio podcast version in the player below, or subscribe to the podcast in one of the popular platforms by clicking one of the buttons below the player.
- Apple Podcasts
- YouTube
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- Amazon Music About the GuestRabbi Dayle FriedmanRabbi Dayle is a spiritual guide, social innovator, chaplain, and scholar. She has been a leader in the fields of spirituality and aging, pastoral care, and Jewish healing. She is currently Special Advisor for Member Support and Counseling for the Central Conference of American Rabbis.
Her publications include Jewish Wisdom for Growing Older: Finding Your Grit and Grace Beyond Midlife, and Jewish End-of-Life Care in a Virtual Age: Our Traditions Reimagined, which she co-edited. Her first book, Jewish Pastoral Care: A Practical Handbook from Traditional and Contemporary Sources,is recognized as a foundational text for its field.
Rabbi Dayle was ordained by HUC-JIR; she earned Masters’ degrees in Social Work and Jewish Communal Service from USC and HUC-LA. She trained as a spiritual director with Yedidya Center’s Moreh Derekh program, and as an interim clergy person with the Interim Ministry Network. Her work has been recognized with awards from the Forward, the American Society on Aging, and Neshama: Association of Jewish Chaplains.
The post Seekers of Meaning 3/15/2024: Rabbi Dayle Friedman on Alzheimer’s and Dementia Care appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, South Jersey resident Bill Fisher discusses his wife Carol’s terminal illness and decision to use New Jersey’s Medical Assistance in Dying (MAID) option.
Carol had been a nationally recognized book editor until her retirement in 2016. (You can read her obituary in the Philadelphia Inquirer here.)
Their lives took a dramatic change back in fall 2016, when Carol was diagnosed with brain cancer. Luckily Carol was able to take advantage of a clinical trial at Jefferson Hospital in Philadelphia. She responded well to the experimental vaccine which kept her cancer in check for 7 years. Less than 10% of patients with this form of cancer ever survive this long.
However, in the past year, the Carol’s cancer re-emerged and difficult decisions needed to be considered for the final months of Carol’s life.
Luckily Carol’s faith and support from medical professionals, family and friends helped Carol and Bill navigate the difficult decisions necessary in participating in New Jersey’s Medical Aid in Dying (MAID) program.
With a diagnosis of less than 6 months to live and diminishing functionality, Carol chose to end her life in the comfort of her own home in the presence of her family.
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming Service
You can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions.
Listen to the Audio PodcastYou can listen to the audio podcast version in the player below, or subscribe to the podcast in one of the popular platforms by clicking one of the buttons below the player.
- Apple Podcasts
- YouTube
- Spotify
- Podchaser
- Amazon Music About the GuestBill FisherBill Fisher is a retired real estate executive who was trained as an architect and spent most of his professional life managing the planning, design and construction of commercial, industrial and medical buildings in the mid-Atlantic and Southwest United States and London, England. He currently resides in South Jersey where he and his wife, Carol Fisher raised their two children Haddon and Lauren.
The post Seekers of Meaning 3/8/2024: Bill Fisher discusses Medical Assistance in Dying (MAID) appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
In this poem, Larry Rosenberg relates his intriguing 80-year journey of exploring the Judaism’s meaning and role in his life. He practiced Conservative Judaism from his childhood until after his Bar Mitzvah (complicated as a closeted gay), in the 1940s-1950s. Afterwards, he layered on other spiritual traditions to create his version of Universal Spirituality, in the 1970s-2000s. Since age 60, he has gradually reasserted Judaism as a source of wisdom, inspiration and joyfulness. This has improved his coping with the seniorhood’s challenges, so that he is enjoying his life’s most purposeful and fulfilling period.
1
While uncurious regarding my Jewish family’s history
I heard about my Great-Grandfather – a man of mystery
In 19th century Poland, he served in the Rabbi profession
No details beyond his photo in my Grandma’s possession
Oy, I feared the judging stare of his white-bearded face!
Imagining God’s like this, yet I knew I’d need His Grace
Before I arrived, the family had ceased being observant
But insisted I learn Judaism as if auditioning as God servant
All my studying made me feel like a Holy Temple sacrifice
If a subpar job I did, why they might make another slice!
At age 13, Jewish schooling climaxed on my Bar Mitzvah Day
First the synagogue service, then the party in a Jewish Way
So many family and friends judging my every Hebrew prayer
Had a nightmare they’d evaluate me on tough questionnaire!
How could I my persistent anxiety could overcome and hide?
Just in time realized the solution: Put on Smiles a mile wide!
Afterward, could I finish relating to Lord Our God Eternal?
So eager to enjoy the wider world – sexual and fraternal
2
As my ancestor the Rabbi’s face watched from the wall
Nervously aware my imagined yearnings risk my Soul’s fall
Does my cocktail of Jew and Gay poison me as a sinner?
God reads my lustful thoughts, can’t make them dimmer
His threat fills my ears: “If you’re gay, big time you’ll pay
Misery awaits you, Kido, a suffering life as you burn like hay!”
How to halt the rising torments of Judaism’s guilt and shame?
Overhauling my ghetto mindset becomes a fervent aim
Opened to the teachings of the world’s spiritual traditions
Elated to discover their similar transcendent propositions
Grafting Buddhism, Taoism, Etc.’s wisdom onto my Judaism
Brilliant Light in and out of my Universal Spirituality’s prism
3
The insights of Seniorhood reconnect me to my Jewish genes
Abraham’s God, Ten Commandments, Miriam’s tambourines
My Bubba’s cooking, Yiddish humor, Fiddler on the Roof tunes
Kabbalah’s mysticism, Jerusalem of Gold, Sabbath afternoons
Yes to Self and World: Proudly Jewish in substance and style
A Spiritual Being of Love and Joy – simply call me versatile!
Learn more about Adventurous Aging and how it helps making Judaism a creative force, among others (such as wellness, purpose, love, joy, community and peace), to enhance seniors’ mindsets and lifestyles for living one’s best life yet, at https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100082105301582. You can contact Larry at larryros@gmail.com and 1.928.202.0010 (USA, Eastern Time).
The post My Jewish Journey – From Childhood into Seniorhood appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Dr. Stephen Goldfine, MD, chief medical officer of Samaritan Health and a palliative care physician, discusses how seniors can avoid adverse drug interactions, and the emerging options for palliative care.
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions.
Listen to the Audio PodcastYou can listen to the audio podcast version in the player below, or subscribe to the podcast in one of the popular platforms by clicking one of the buttons below the player.
- Apple Podcasts
- YouTube
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- Amazon Music About the GuestStephen Goldfine, MD, DABFP, CAQGM, DABHPChief Medical Officer, SamaritanStephen Goldfine, MD, DABFP, CAQGM, DABHP, is a palliative care physician with more than 30 years of experience. Since 2003, he has served as the full-time chief medical officer where he oversees the care of all Samaritan’s patients in hospice care, palliative medicine, and primary care at home. In addition to his role on Samaritan’s Senior Leadership Team, Dr. Goldfine also serves as Samaritan’s liaison with the medical community and provides direct care for patients at home, at hospitals and long-term care communities.
Dr. Goldfine is certified by both the American Board of Hospice and Palliative Medicine and the American Board of Family Practice, with added qualifications in geriatrics and hospice and palliative medicine.
An articulate and engaging speaker, Dr. Goldfine has presented a range of educational workshops to healthcare professionals and the public through collaborations with the Goals of Care Coalition of New Jersey, the New Jersey Hospital Association, New Jersey Health Care Quality Institute, Medical Society of New Jersey, and the Home Care & Hospice Association of New Jersey. Dr. Goldfine provided keynote presentations for the New Jersey Healthcare Leadership Academy, New Jersey Academy of Family Physicians, National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization’s Leadership and Management Conference. Dr. Goldfine serves on the National Partnership for Healthcare & Hospice Innovation’s Physician Forum. Dr. Goldfine completed Faculty Training with VitalTalk, an organization nurturing healthier communication between clinicians and patients on advance care planning, serious illness, and end-of-life care options.
Dr. Goldfine has been a frequent choice as a Top Doc by SJ Magazine and a Top Physician by South Jersey Magazine.
Dr. Goldfine received his medical degree from Temple University School of Medicine in Philadelphia, and his undergraduate degree from Emory University in Atlanta.
The post Seekers of Meaning 3/1/2024: Dr. Stephen Goldfine on Palliative Care, Guarding against Adverse Drug Interactions appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Steven Cohen (right), founder and board chairman, and Clayton Platt (center), director of outreach with Mediation4Leadership.org describe the nonprofit organization’s meditation programs that benefit individuals and organizations.
Meditation and mindfulness teaching is a growing part of corporate wellness and leadership development initiatives. Meditation4Leadership teaches essential skills for individuals to cultivate greater awareness, connection, perspective and potential in their lives, to improve their professional and personal effectiveness, and to thrive in adversity as well as good times.
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions.
Listen to the Audio PodcastYou can listen to the audio podcast version in the player below, or subscribe to the podcast in one of the popular platforms by clicking one of the buttons below the player.
- Apple Podcasts
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- Amazon Music About the GuestsSteven CohenSteven is the founder and chairman of the board of trustees of Meditation4Leadership.org. He is the author if Leading From Within: A Guide to Maximizing Your Effectiveness Through Meditation.The book has now been read by thousands of people and links 13 key leadership traits with associated meditations. His goal is to enlighten readers in understanding how incorporating meditation practices applied to key leadership traits improves personal and organizational focus.
Clayton PlattClayton Platt joined Meditation4Leadership in 2020 following completion of a two year meditation teacher training program, while also serving as a facilitator for virtual digital learning programs. At the time, Clayton was facilitating a Friday morning meditation group and organizing discussions around mindfulness for racial justice and inclusion. Clayton and M4L colleague Lisa Gonzalez worked in coordination with DEI Consultant Lourdes Tango to develop our program: Leading from Awareness: the Power of Inclusion and continues to develop innovative content to meet client business needs.
The post Seekers of Meaning 2/23/2024: Meditation 4 Leadership, Meditation Training for the Corporate Sector appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
When I drive by my synagogue and see the “We Stand By Israel” sign, I wince. The sign presupposes unanimity of viewpoint, obscuring the mind-numbing complexities of what’s happening in Israel and Gaza. As such, it glosses over the psychological tumult experienced by Jews like me who feel love for Israel but also profound distress for the devastation visited upon Gaza by Israel.
Now in my early 80s, I was raised to be proud of being Jewish and to cherish Israel. Woven into my identity as a Jew, Israel was family, to be protected, loved, and respected. And I pretty much did exactly that for decades, even when I strongly opposed Israeli policy and actions.
My kinship to Israel deepened on October 7 when Hamas launched its brutal attack. I was filled with rage that such an atrocity had been perpetrated against my Israel. But as the weeks and months passed, I became horrified by Israel’s relentless retaliatory bombing of Gaza. Pain and suffering were everywhere, with no end in sight for the Palestinians, just the knowledge that more of the same awaited them. Soul sick, I felt shame about Israel’s actions and, by extension, a kind of guilt about being Jewish.
Sharing these corrosive feelings with Jewish friends and family of my generation, I discovered that some of them felt as I did. On one hand, we felt deeply for Israel and were angered by the media’s relative inattention to the atrocities Israelis endured on October 7, to the suffering of the hostages and their families, to the painful dislocation of hundreds of thousands of Israelis. On the other hand, we felt grief, compassion, and outrage for the grave suffering inflicted by Israel on Gaza. The images and accounts of Palestinian misery took a heavy psychological toll on us.
I wonder. Has the profoundly complex Israeli-Gaza situation caused other Jewish Sacred Aging readers to experience their own painful interior whiplash?
If so, Jewish Sacred Aging encourages readers to share their comments in the comment space below this essay. You can also send them to webmaster@jewishsacredaging.com. An honest, respectful sharing of viewpoints may help ease the emotional and cognitive dissonance many of us now feel. It’s certainly worth a try.
The post One Congregant’s View on Gaza War appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, the second in a series on health issues for seniors. This week’s guest is Meredith Becker, chief operating office of Lions Gate CCRC, a retirement community in Voorhees, New Jersey, who discusses the process of planning for care for seniors.
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions.
https://vimeo.com/912950154?share=copyListen to the Audio PodcastYou can listen to the audio podcast version in the player below, or subscribe to the podcast in one of the popular platforms by clicking one of the buttons below the player.
- Apple Podcasts
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- Amazon Music About the GuestMeredith Becker, MHSA, LNHAMeredith Becker, MHSA, LNHA is the Chief Operating Officer at Lions Gate. Meredith has spent over 20 years in the senior living field. She has held a variety of positions including Director of Sales and Marketing, Assistant Administrator, and Executive Director. Meredith holds a BA in Communication and a Masters in Healthcare Administration, with a concentration in Long Term Care Management, both from The George Washington University. In addition, Meredith holds a Nursing Home Administrators License in the State of New Jersey.
The post Seekers of Meaning 2/16/2024: Meredith Becker, Chief Operating Officer, Lions Gate CCRC, on Planning Senior Care appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, we begin a series of programs focusing on health issues relevant for boomers and other seniors. The guest this week is board-certified gerontologist Jesse Abesh, D.O., who practices in South Jersey.
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions.
Listen to the Audio PodcastYou can listen to the audio podcast version in the player below, or subscribe to the podcast in one of the popular platforms by clicking one of the buttons below the player.
- Apple Podcasts
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- Amazon Music About the GuestJesse Abesh, D.O.Jesse Abesh, D.O., is a board certified family medicine physician who is also board certified in Geriatric Medicine.
She grew in Cherry Hill and graduated Rowan – School of Osteopathic Medicine in 2014.
Dr. Abesh practices in the Voorhees and Cherry Hill area, and sees patients in her office, nursing homes, and subacute rehab facilities.
The post Seekers of Meaning 2/9/2024: Health Issues for Seniors, Part 1, with Gerontologist Jesse Abesh appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
Editor’s Note: While Rabbi Address is lecturing on the road, we provide this encore d’var Torah from 2023.
The first Torah portion after Sinai, Mishpatim, goes directly to a recitation of social laws and norms. As you will see, if you review the portion, this is a detailed description of how a society should function; from ritual law to economic laws to the basic way we should treat others.
As I was reviewing this portion, I began to think about its impact on us and our generation. Let me suggest that as we get older and tap into the reservoir of our life experience, we come to the realization that in order to be in the world we need to understand that our existence is just not about each of us as individuals. We live with people, we exist in a society and in order for that society to function properly, for the greater good, we cannot make life just about us. The portion is asking: “is there a higher moral and ethical power than myself?”
In his book on the thoughts of Mordecai Kaplan, Rabbi Steven Carr Reuben notes Kaplan’s understanding that there is a higher law and authority than us. “God is understood as the power that establishes moral laws and expectations that transcend the arbitrariness of momentary human urges, no matter how passionately they are felt or expressed” (A Year With Mordecai Kaplan. Rabbi Steven Carr Reuben. P.69)
This statement and belief, drawn from this week’s portion, and indeed the entire concept of Torah, is especially meaningful. Many of us may recall that the Boomer generation was often labeled the “me” generation. Truthfully, there was a lot of that going around when we were younger, a belief that what I did had no impact on others. But we have lived a little, and for many of us we know that the world does not work like that. If we are only about us, then what are we? If we worship our self, we fall into idolatry, an idolatry of the self, which will end when we die. A motif of this portion, I think, is a belief that by living in society, by adhering to the social fabric, we find our place and our voice, a voice and place than can transcend our brief life.
The portion reminds us that the world is about being involved with others and caring for others such as the widow, the orphan, the people who may not share our social status but are all creatures of God. We know this throughout our liturgy as we are constantly reminded to care for the stranger because we walked that walk ourselves. The fight against isolating or blaming the “other” also emerges from this portion as Rabbi Jonathan Saks reminds us: “Dehumanise the other and all the moral forces in the world will not save us from evil.” (Essays on Ethics. Rabbi Jonathan Sacks. P. 113)
We are part of a larger whole. We exist in society, in community and the path to fulfillment and peace rests, as the portion tells us, within the social framework of the society. Within that framework we are given the choice as to our own future. Again, choose well.
Shabbat shalom,
Rabbi Richard F Address
The post Mishpatim (Exodus 21:1-24:18) For The Greater Good Of Society appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Rabbi Address discusses the challenges facing Reform and Progressive rabbis in Israel in the wake of the October 7 Hamas attacks with Rabbi Efrat Rotem, executive director of MARAM, the Council of Progressive Rabbis representing liberal Jewish clergy in Israel.
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions.
Listen to the Audio PodcastYou can listen to the audio podcast version in the player below, or subscribe to the podcast in one of the popular platforms by clicking one of the buttons below the player.
- Apple Podcasts
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- Amazon Music About the GuestRabbi Efrat RotemRabbi Efrat Rotem serves as a rabbi in central Israel and as the executive director of Maram – the Council of Reform Rabbis in Israel. She was ordained through the Hebrew Union College in Jerusalem in 2015. She served as the rabbi of Kehilat HaLev in Tel Aviv. She is a queer environmental activist who integrates Jewish pluralism, critical feminism, and queer identity and worldview into her work as a rabbi. In addition, she holds an MA in Literature from Tel Aviv University and is a translator and editor.
The post Seekers of Meaning 2/2/2024: Rabbi Efrat Rotem, director of MARAM, the Council of Progressive Rabbis in Israel appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
A prayer intended for those whose relationship with the deceased was tumultuous, abusive or otherwise less than blissful.
When you find it difficult to honor your parents:
Prayers that are intended to engender sadness upon recalling the loss of a “loved one” — but, sadly, do the opposite — are too often the reality. Undeserving praise is untruthful.
I would only like to bring in the possibility of using these prayers with a different slant.
What exactly is the meaning of the Fifth Commandment (Honor Your Mother and Father) for those who have or did have abusive parents? How can one be true to oneself, yet honor such a parent?
I think flipping the question is the start to the answer. How can I honor myself when I had less than honorable parents?
So, now we need to answer that question.
It has been shown in data and surveys that certain negative behaviors of parents — and witnessed by children —can often lead to children continuing the behavior.
To honor oneself one would have to make a concerted effort to knowingly and willingly and purposefully — separate THEMselves from THEM (bad influences).
During these moments of prayer…we can give thanks that WE are NOT them. We can review the past with sadness but hopefully see joy in the present and see how far we have come in spite of their actions.
That we have overcome, that we are stronger for it – as we ARE standing here – and we are no longer as broken. For those of us who are not yet completely healed…Baruch Hashem…there is tomorrow.
In bad times, we need to build ourselves up, even when others try to knock us down. Remaining strong is the biggest blow to their attempts to keep us weak.
These prayerful moments afford us the opportunity to give the royal finger saying…I am a survivor of your actions…I am here, I am relatively happy and I will move forward. MY horrible memories can be countered by my successes.
There is no halacha/law preventing anyone to change the words of the prayer to fit the occasion. (minhag, maybe, but not law). Reinvent the prayer to say what is in your heart….HHMM, truthfulness in prayer ?
So with every Kaddish/Yizkor moment — for those who might find love and loss difficult concepts recalling various and difficult relationships … we might take it as our personal time to reflect and revise Kaddish:
1) I SMILE as I free myself to THINK the truth,
2) I SMILE as I free myself to acknowledge the truth,
3) I am PROUD that I am not them,
4) I STAND UP TALL, with SHOULDERS BACK – for what I have accomplished IN SPITE of them!
5) I THANK HASHEM THAT I AM HERE….and have become the fabulous person that I am — on my own — no help from them and likely no support!!
6) I PRAY WITH GRATITUDE AND JOY — that I have this prayerful opportunity to dilute a toxic relationship and call it out for what it really was.
7) I WILL NOT DWELL on the past negative and I WILL rejoice in my current positive!
8) Hashem, May I have the strength to look back and acknowledge the pain…but also have the strength to move forward in gladness.
I can only overcome my sad past by appreciating my present.
HERE’S TO MY CONTINUED SUCCESSES! AMEN!
The post A Different Take on The Kaddish/Yizkor appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
Rabbi Address, founder and director of JewishSacredAging.com, was honored by the Denver Reform Jewish community with its Isaac Mayer Wise award after appearing as scholar-in-residence there earlier this month.
Said Rabbi Address: “Thank you for this honor. A sincere ‘todah rabah’ to the Reform Jewish community of Denver in honoring our work with the annual Isaac Mayer Wise ward this past Shabbat. This was a wonderful beginning to the Scholar in Residence weekend at Temple Sinai. My thanks to the clergy and staff of Temple Sinai and Temple Emanuel of Denver for their support and friendship.”
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On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, David Raphael and Jane Shapiro discuss the Jewish Grandparents Network. The network envisions a Jewish world that embraces grandparents as vital to our families, our communities, and our future.
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions.
Listen to the Audio PodcastYou can listen to the audio podcast version in the player below, or subscribe to the podcast in one of the popular platforms by clicking one of the buttons below the player.
- Apple Podcasts
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- Amazon Music About the GuestsDavid RaphaelDavid Raphael is the co-founder and CEO of the Jewish Grandparents Network. A graduate of Albany University and the Columbia University School of Social Work, David spent 30 years in Hillel including roles as Assistant International Director, Executive Director of Hillel of Greater Baltimore and Senior Campus Liaison for Hillel International. David was also the founding Executive Director of the Floortime Foundation and the Executive Director of the Maryland Teen Initiative. David and his wife Jo live in Atlanta, have three grown children, two grandchildren, and Maddie the dog. Contact David at david@jewishgrandparentsnetwork.org
Jane ShapiroA founder of Orot: Center for New Jewish Learning where she teaches a variety of classes and workshops blending text study with other intentional practices. Jane is a graduate of the Mandel Teachers Institute and Vision Projects. Growing up in a family of four girls, Jane wondered what it would like to have a brother. As the mother of four sons and as Bubbie to five grandsons she now knows the answer: it is full of commotion and fun.
The post Seekers of Meaning 1/19/2024: Jewish Grandparents Network appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Rabbi Jeffrey Salkin discusses his new book, Tikkun Ha’am / Repairing Our People: Israel and the Crisis of Liberal Judaism, and the rising worldwide tide of antisemitism and Jewish support for Israel.
About the BookContemporary Judaism is facing unprecedented challenges. Today’s Jews have the opportunity—and the obligation—to reclaim a Jewish vocabulary of sanctity, activism, and the desire to stand apart from today’s world.
October 7, 2023 was not just one of the most tragic days in modern Jewish history; it represented a profound moral and spiritual challenge to liberal Jewish denominations in America.
It’s a challenge Jews have faced before, and we rose to the occasion; but are Jews of today up to the challenge? We have the opportunity—and the obligation—to reclaim a Jewish vocabulary of sanctity, activism, and the desire to stand apart from today’s world.
Tikkun Ha’am/Repairing Our People is a cry from the heart by one of American Judaism’s most prolific voices. His message: the role of faith is to challenge us as individuals and to challenge society. Rabbi Jeffrey K. Salkin challenges us to rethink contemporary Jewish identity, Israel, spirituality, and popular culture. Rabbi Salkin invites readers to think deeply about the contemporary world, showing that Judaism has a stake in our world’s political, religious, and cultural battles.
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions.
Listen to the Audio PodcastYou can listen to the audio podcast version in the player below, or subscribe to the podcast in one of the popular platforms by clicking one of the buttons below the player.
- Apple Podcasts
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- Amazon Music About the GuestRabbi Jeffrey SalkinRabbi Jeffrey Salkin is one of American Judaism’s most prolific rabbis — described as “courageous,” “always relevant,” and “one of American Judaism’s true public intellectuals.”
His column, “Martini Judaism: for those who want to be shaken and stirred,” published by the Religion News Service, has won several Wilbur awards for best religion column of the year. “Martini Judaism” also appears as a podcast. He delivered the keynote on spirituality at the Chautauqua Institution, and has participated in interreligious dialogue with Christian and Muslim religious leaders.
His essays have appeared in the Washington Post, Commentary, the Wall Street Journal, Tablet, Forward, and JTA. He has appeared on CNN and the BBC. He has contributed to scholarly volumes and encyclopedias. His eleven books have inspired vigorous conversations on such subjects as Jewish identity and culture, Israel, and gender, and he has written three Torah commentaries.
His new book is Tikkun Ha’Am: Repairing Our People – Israel and the Crisis of Liberal Judaism. Rabbi David Wolpe of Los Angeles has said of the book: “Tikkun Ha’am” proves once again that Rabbi Jeffrey Salkin is among the wisest observers of our society and our souls — a Rabbi who writes with humor, depth and clarity.” He is currently writing a book for the Reform movement — a commentary for teens on Shabbat liturgy.
Rabbi Salkin lives in West Palm Beach, Florida, and devotes his time to writing, biking, his friends and family, and consuming vast quantities of coffee.
The post Seekers of Meaning 1/12/2024: Rabbi Jeffrey Salkin on Rising Antisemitism and Support for Israel appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
Statistics indicate that many of us are one medical crisis away from financial devastation. The American health system is at the heart of this concern; making sure adults have equal access to health care is probably the most significant social issue the Baby Boomer generation is facing. What can Jewish ethics and thought contribute to this subject? Can our tradition provide any guidance? In this discussion with Rabbi Richard Address, Founder and Director of Jewish Sacred Aging, The Florence Melton School of Adult Jewish Learning will look at a series of approaches from across denominational lines to see how Jewish scholars approach this pressing social issue.
Register HereThe post The Economics of Aging: Melton School Program with Rabbi Address appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
My last musing on Israel was from Jordan. Now I am in New Jersey. I am not sure I feel any safer, any calmer, or any happier.
In that first musing, I called out the viciousness of some of the comments made by Jews about other Jews in the aftermath of the attack. People began the name calling: fascist, anti-Zionist, racist, self-hating Jews, oppressor, and the simple ones; stupid and ignorant.
I asked that we be thoughtful, maybe civil, and even stretch to be kind to each other, in this time of yet another trauma for the Jewish people. I remain filled with sadness, hurt, confusion, upset and anger, but still love. So, this time I ask that we all stretch even further, to that love.
I think that is sometimes what it means to be Jewish. And Sacredly Aging.
A few weeks ago, one of my friends, Carol, died. She was a great woman, and left a great husband, great children and grandchildren.
Only not really left behind.
When I met with her shortly before her passing, to help her with a Viddui, I told her I would look up into the night sky and pick out a star. I would imagine her as that star, twinkling down on us.
I was thinking about what Mufasa said to Simba.
Later I found out she had used the same metaphor to explain to her young granddaughter that she would always be around. And to her grandson she said that she would be the wings on his sneakers when he was running. She found a way to express her death to young children. Can’t we all find a way to express our upsets (and disagreements) to adults, without venom or nastiness?
I know my friend Carol was a special human being. And she was filled with love for her grandchildren. And we are talking about talking to adults who we don’t even like. But we as Jews are required to “love your fellow person as yourself.”
In fact, some of us, before davening say, “Harèyni m’kabeyl alai et mitzvat ha-Borey, V’ahàvta l’reyacha kamòcha.”
I declare that I accept the commandment of the creator, love your fellow person as yourself. What an amazing declaration! What a context to set for prayer. I suggest it is a context for our whole day. In fact, I have added it to my personal morning prayer, to
remind me how to act in the coming day.
When I am engaging on current events, or politics (or even religion), I try to remember that the person who is spouting some asinine points was created in Gods image.
“How is that possible?” I often think. So, I have to return to love.
Not love like I love my wife and children. But love like a possibility, like a possibility that I could learn something about another one of God’s creations, no matter how I feel about that jerk, or how I feel about God in that moment.
Someone asked me the other day if I felt that the current divisiveness and bigotry and maybe hatred was the fault of organized religion, or perhaps the lack of organized religion. I thought that was an interesting question to ask me, someone who had been raised without much organization to his religion, but then at age 65 decided it was time to get ordained.
I responded that I thought the absence of widespread teaching of religious precepts, because of the constantly decreasing number of people identifying with or participating in organized religious activities was indeed part of the problem.
We don’t teach civics or ethics in the schools and people don’t receive the training in our churches, synagogues and mosques either. All of these Abrahamic religions have the Hebrew Bible (you might call it Tanach or the Old Testament) as a source document. So, Leviticus 19:18, loving your neighbor, is there for each person born into those religions.
Rogers and Hammerstein said that “you’ve got to be taught to hate and fear, it’s got to be drummed in your dear little ear”.
It would be great if we were teaching, and remembering Leviticus instead of how to hate all the people our relatives hate. We as wise elders must not sit back, we must teach. Civility, tolerance and love.
And if you want to listen to a beautiful reminder, check out Mandy Patinkin.
It is not too late. It is never too late.
“To be a Jew is to be an agent of hope in a world serially threatened by despair,” said Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks. “Judaism is a sustained struggle, the greatest ever known, against a world that is, in the name of the world that could be, should be, but is not yet.”
It is our job to engage in that struggle using our accumulated wisdom. I am a glass half empty kind of guy. So, I have to force myself to be an agent of hope. To write columns like this. But I do. All it takes is love.
The post Love is All You Need appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
Rabbi Address was a guest on the “Be Wholly” video podcast hosted by Rabbi Ben Vineburg, BCC. You can watch the conversation in the player below.
The post Rabbi Address is guest on the “Be Wholly” video podcast appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Rabbi Address chats with Ari Rosenblatt, a rising junior at the University of Wisconsin. Ari, the granddaughter of JewishSacredAging.com contributing writer Sandy Taradash, is active in Hillel and other Jewish organizations on campus, and discussed her recent experiences with antisemitism in the wake of the October 7 Hamas attack on Israel.
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions.
Listen to the Audio PodcastYou can listen to the audio podcast version in the player below, or subscribe to the podcast in one of the popular platforms by clicking one of the buttons below the player.
- Apple Podcasts
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- Amazon Music About the GuestAri RosenblattAri is originally from Northern California, but currently is completing her sophomore year at the University of Wisconsin where she is studying Sociology and Communications with certificates in Jewish Studies and Design Strategy. Ari spent 10 years at Camp Newman as a camper and counselor, and served as local and regional president of the National Federation of Temple Youth (NFTY). She currently works for Hillel as a program creator for alumni fundraising.
The post Seekers of Meaning 1/5/2024: Ari Rosenblatt, Jewish university student/activist appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
Rabbi Address is the guest on the January 3, 2024 episode of the “Essential Questions” podcast hosted by Rabbi Dan Levin. You can listen to the conversation in the player below. Rabbi Levin is the senior rabbi of Temple Beth El, located in Boca Raton, FL.
The post Rabbi Address is guest on Essential Questions Podcast hosted by Rabbi Dan Levin appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
Greetings, I’m Merlin the Wizard
Been called a Mentor, Sage, Healer, Bard,
Wildman, Druid, Dragon Tamer, Lover and Jokester
Born in the 5th century
After the Romans left what we now call
England, Wales and Scotland
That makes me 1,500 years old, give or take
Hey, I look pretty good for my age
Those aren’t wrinkles, but wisdom lines
Except for my white hair, I can pass for 300
Ever wonder how a Wizard makes Magic?
By mastered the art of creating illusions
With spells, potions and shapeshifting
But our real purpose is finding deeper truths
One of which has been my priority:
Living to an awesome age with full vitality
What’s the secret of my 1,500-year life?
It’s eating peanut butter and jelly daily – just kidding
Of course, it’s my style of Wizardly Magic
Which I’ve dubbed Adventurous Aging
You can live your senior life as a series of adventures –
exciting, novel, daring, learning, meaningful and fulfilling
Actively engage your Life Force
Avoid getting into a rut, feeling bored,
slowing down, sliding downwards, and, ucky, being old
Stay flexible and open
Keep your creative juices flowing
Live from your accumulated wisdom
Be of valuable service to others
Heartful new activities will renew you
Rejuvenating your body, mind and spirit
Then, like me at 1,500 years, age won’t matter
We are ageless – repeat it several times to install it in your brain
Age doesn’t matter – it’s only a number and illusion
Marked by outdated cultural stereotypes and biases
Limiting your vision of life’s potential and possibilities
It’s your thoughts and feelings that run your life
Your mindset, lifestyle, wisdom and superpowers
A high quality of life adds a larger quantity of years
With wellness, passion, purpose, people, fulfillment and peace
I invite you to embrace my Magical Attitude
To transform how you view aging and live life fully
Your Heart tells you the Truth
It’s the Mirror that Lies to you
The post Aging Agelessly – Advice from Merlin the Wizard (at 1,500 Years Old) appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
Expanding and Strengthening Our Circles of Caring
“Widen the place of your tent, and let them stretch forth the curtains
of your habitations, do not spare; lengthen your cords and
strengthen your stakes.”Isaiah 54:2
Once again we bring together our community of caregivers, social workers, chaplains, Rabbis and others committed to Jewish healing for our virtual National Bikur Cholim Conference. This year’s conference will begin with a stellar group of Jewish community leaders discussing our response to the tragedy in Israel and emerging antisemitism. It then will address specific on the ground efforts to adapt our efforts to providing healing to the current crisis.
The second part of the program recognizes the challenges and healing issues we face when we try to serve those outside our traditional communities. Our objective is to expand and strengthen our circles of caring by looking at how we connect with and embrace those who are often outside our circles, including:
- People with disabilities
- Family estrangement
- Dealing with death by suicide
- Loneliness
- Jews of color
- LBGTQ+ communities
- Addiction and alcoholism
Sponsored byKavod v’Nichum, Neshama: Association of Jewish Chaplains, Network of Jewish Human Service Agencies, Jewish Association for Death Education (JADE), and The Jewish Board of Family and Children’s Services
Conference Program, Online, on Select MondaysJanuary 15 – June 10, 20248:00pm – 9:30pm EDT • 5:00pm – 6:30pm PDT
For volunteers, social workers, chaplains and professionals who work in the field of bikur cholim (visiting the sick) and the general public
$72 for the full conference program for 9 sessions; $36 for 3 sessions; $18 for a single session
— scholarships widely available — All sessions will be recorded
REGISTER HEREQuestions?
Program Questions: David Balto at david.balto@dcantitrustlaw.com or 202-577-5424
Sponsorship and Registration Questions: Contact david.balto@dcantitrustlaw.com
Conference Sessions and SpeakersJanuary 15, 2024“The Healing of Our People: Responding to the Challenges
of War and Increased Antisemitism”
Eric Fingerhut, President and CEO Jewish Federations of North America
Reuben Rotman, President and CEO, Network of Jewish Human Service Agencies
Rabbanit Alissa Thomas-Newborn, BCC
President-Elect, Neshama: Association of Jewish Chaplains,
Chaplain NewYork-Presbyterian, Rabbanit, Netivot Shalom
Dr. Norman Blumenthal, Zachter Family Director of Trauma and Crisis Intervention for OHEL
January 29, 2024“On the ground efforts to adapt to the crisis”
Rabbi Joseph Ozarowski S. Ozarowski, D. Min., BCC, President, Neshama:
Association of Jewish Chaplains, Rabbinic Counselor and Chaplain for Jewish Child
and Family Services, Chicago
Rabbi Fred Klein, Director of Mishkan Miami
Denise Dunager, Special Needs, Bereavement, Meditation Programs
February 5, 2024“A Holistic Perspective on Supporting People with Disabilities”
Shelley Christensen, MA, FAAIDD, Creator, Inclusion Innovations,
Senior Director of Faith Inclusion and Belonging, Respectability
February 19, 2024
“Expanding our Tents to Create Belonging”
Rabbi Lauren Tuchman, Disability Access Consultant, Rabbinic Teacher
March 4, 2024“Let’s Talk About it: Suicide Loss in the Jewish Community”
Rabbi Suzanne Offit, Board Certified Chaplain
Marjie Sokoll, Founding Director, Betty Ann Greenbaum Miller Center
for Jewish Healing, JFCS Boston
March 18, 2024“Family Estrangement in our Community: Coping and Caring”
Rabbi Judith Beiner, Chaplain, Jewish Family and Children’s Services Atlanta
Rabbi Chaplain Miriam Herscher, Jewish Board of Family and Children’s Services, New York City
April 1, 2024“A Jewish Approach to the Crisis of Loneliness”
Rabbi Mychal B. Springer, Manager, Clinical Pastoral Education,
New York-Presbyterian Hospital
May 6, 2024“A Jewish Approach to Addiction”
Cantor Rabbi Rob Jury
Rabbi Ilan Glazer
May 20, 2024“Being fully Inclusive for Jews of Color”
Isaiah Rothstein, Rabbinic Scholar, Public Affairs Advisor,
Jewish Federations of North America
June 3, 2024“Embracing Our Jewish LGBTQ+ Community”
Laura Ticho
The post Bikur Cholim Conference 2024 appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
On this week’s encore broadcast episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Rabbi Address discusses the new book, The Year of Mourning: A Jewish Journey, with its editors, Rabbi Lisa Grant, Director of the New York Rabbinical Program and Eleanor Sinsheimer Distinguished Service Professor in Jewish Education Coordinator, Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion, and Cantor Lisa B. Segal, cantor of Kolot Chayeinu in Brooklyn, NY.
The Jewish mourning process is a voyage through pain, brokenness, comfort, resilience, acceptance, and even gratitude. The Year of Mourning: A Jewish Journey offers an expansive array of resources—stories, songs, study texts, poetry, and prayers—to lovingly and patiently guide the bereaved through the first year after their loss. Each week the mourner is encouraged to focus on a particular theme to deepen their Kaddish practice. The book also includes new rituals for shivah, sh’loshim, unveiling, and yahrzeit. The Year of Mourning helps support individuals to regain their grounding after loss and, through the richness of Jewish tradition, deepen their connections to memories of loved ones and to others in the community who are walking a similar path.
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions.
We also maintain a complete playlist of Seekers of Meaning TV Show episodes on YouTube.
Listen to the Audio PodcastYou can listen to the audio podcast version in the player below, or subscribe to the podcast in one of the popular platforms by clicking one of the buttons below the player.
- Apple Podcasts
- YouTube
- Spotify
- Podchaser
- Amazon Music About the GuestsRabbi Lisa Grant, Ph.D.Rabbi Lisa D. Grant, Ph.D., serves as Director of the Rabbinical Program at HUC-JIR/New York. Her research and teaching interests focus on adult Jewish learning, the professional development of Jewish leaders and the place of Israel in American Jewish life. She has published widely on these topics in a range of academic journals, books, and teaching guides.
Rabbi Grant has served on the faculty of HUC-JIR since 2000. She received her Bachelor of Arts degree from the University of Michigan, Ann Arbor, her Master’s degree in Business Administration from the University of Massachusetts, Amherst, and her Ph.D. from The Jewish Theological Seminary in New York; and her rabbinical ordination from HUC-JIR.
Cantor Lisa B. SegalCantor Lisa B. Segal is a founding member of Kolot, where she has served as co-and senior clergy for over 19 years. Cantor Segal was ordained in 2011 by the Academy for Jewish Religion (AJR) and served as their Cantorial Director for two years (2012-14). With her unique voice and energy, Lisa leads Shabbat, holiday, and High Holy Day services and observances. In addition, she teaches, creates and leads all ranges of life cycle events to enhance Kolot members’ spiritual lives. She composes music, leads community events and regularly performs in concert, on Facebook, and on bimahs around the country.
Cantor Segal collaborates regularly with local Brooklyn and New York City Cantors and musicians in Jewish communal observances and holidays. During the first six months of the Pandemic she created and hosted a twice-weekly Facebook live session of song, meditation and reflections/Torah. Her original composition, Ratzo VaShov/Ebb and Flow, was featured at the opening of the 2021 ACC Convention, and she was commissioned to write a piece for T’ruah’s 2021 Gala, entitled Na’aseh V’Nishma, along with HUC-JIR Cantorial Student Ze’evi (Berman) Levtov. Notable performances include D’var Shirah – Music Meets Text at the Red Sea at the Eldridge Street Synagogue, a benefit she created and produced for the Academy for Jewish Religion, featuring spoken word artists and Jewish musicians in improvisation (music directed by Frank London of the Klezmatics), and Zero Church; the Prayer Project where she sang with The Roches at St. Ann’s Warehouse.
Cantor Segal has appeared in many concerts she created for Kolot – “Off the Bimah!” – with a range of notable and innovative Jewish musicians including Joey Weisenberg, Marty Ehrlich, Marc Ribot, Alicia Jo Rabins, Roy Nathanson, Alicia Svigals, and others, and has performed with numerous cantors and choirs throughout the New York metropolitan area and beyond.
She is an Associate Member of the ACC (American Conference of Cantors), an active alumni of AJR and Hevraya, the Institute for Jewish Spirituality’s Mindfulness meditation clergy cohort, and a longtime member of the Women Cantors Network. Lisa and her husband, writer and maggid Arthur “Ari” Strimling, live in Park Slope, Brooklyn.
The post ENCORE BROADCAST 12/29/2023: Seekers of Meaning 8/4/2023: Rabbi Lisa Grant and Cantor Lisa B. Segal, “The Year of Mourning” appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
In 1982 I was at a crossroads in my life, 32 years old, with a new master’s degree with no clear direction, no discernible career prospects, newly divorced.
All I knew was that my heart was in Israel and I had to somehow get there and stay there. I had been there before and the bug bit.
I am so glad that I went, and my only regret is that with the perspective of age and whatever wisdom I’ve gained between age 32 and 73, I would not do it that way again. I was not prepared for the long term and eventually had to return.
My life, my successes and failures, like many others has been a series of trying, not planning well, kind of taking myself where the wind blew me. Maybe you can do that when you’re young. I sometimes think I should have gone at 22 instead of 32, but it wasn’t on my radar at 22.
Sometime after I returned from Aliyah, a good friend, introduced me to someone and said I lived in Israel but I failed and came back. I took umbrage with that. I never forgot that. I didn’t fail. Everything in life is an experience. So here was my crazy trajectory.
I moved as an Olah Hadashah (new immigrant) to Israel in June 1982. That date should be seared in many minds, but for those of you who don’t know or remember, that was the date of the war or first war in Lebanon. It was not an attack by Lebanon. This was an invasion of Israeli forces into Lebanon due to threats and attacks from Lebanon of which I was unaware. It was secret even from the Israeli public as the military felt was necessitated.
Later, as in all Israeli and democratic societies, there would be investigations, evaluations, criticisms of politicians, but that was later. I’m not a politician. I can’t pretend to understand what happened, but the atmosphere in the country was poisonous, reminiscent of the protests against Netanyahu, on a smaller scale. I believe it brought down the Menachem Begin government and vilified Ariel Sharon after the Sabra and Shatilla Massacre in refugee camps in Lebanon, although he still subsequently became Prime Minister.
A friend met me at the airport the Tuesday before and brought me to Jerusalem and said I’ll see you next week or soon, something like that. That meeting we didn’t know at the time was going to be much much later.
I was staying at a merkaz klita (absorption center), was given a temporary apartment for new immigrants. It was in East Talpiot which was part of East Jerusalem and you could hear the call to prayer from the minarets close by, but on my first Shabbat I was invited to stay with friends of my parents, former Americans, former New Jerseyites, who had lived some decades in Israel. They lived in the upscale leafy neighborhood of Beit Hakerem in West Jerusalem up the road from Mt. Herzl, Yad Vashem, and the Jerusalem forest, and the neighborhood where I would move a year later, and as on any Shabbat everything was shut down, quiet, and peaceful.
Late Shabbat afternoon we heard a disruption. We looked out the windows. There were young men running out of houses in their army uniforms with their Uzis or machine guns over their shoulders and jumping into cars. The friends said or knew something was up, but we waited until Shabbat was over, and turned on the radio. It was the invasion. These were not just regular army personnel, but reservists. It was everyone basically, not like now, the current war of 2023, but it was a serious call up. When I went back “home” to the absorption center the next day soldiers were amassing, spreading out their sleeping bags on the marble floor lobby and being handed out packets of candy and cigarettes. I had to step over them to get to the elevator to my apartment and they kept coming. Trucks and planes and F16 fighter jets roared overhead day and night on their way to Lebanon, but all I could think of was my boyfriend.
Where was he? He was in Lebanon.
He survived, but before I knew that I was on a bus to his place of business in Tel Aviv, an electronics and radio repair store, crying to his boss, who shrugged his shoulders and said, what am I supposed to say? My sons are there too. I know nothing. Almost everything for me was images. That’s mostly what remains now and some of it blurs in my memory with prior visits to Israel.
I was supposed to attend the best ulpan in the country, a five month intensive program, but that was later, and I had a month with nothing to do in the meantime. I contacted my father’s friends, who lived on Kibbutz Sasa, in the Upper Galilee, a shomer ha-tzair kibbutz, meaning what people described as a far left socialist kibbutz, founded by Americans in 1949, the movement originally founded in Austria-Hungry in 1913, and they said come. Our men have all gone to Lebanon. We can use volunteer help. I went. They had beef cattle and orchards. I just read they have a plastics factory now and make vehicle armor. So they’re still there. You could see Lebanon from the fields, a mile distant. I was glad that I wasn’t assigned the back breaking work of picking fruit in the orchards.
I had a choice of working in the chicken coops or in the kitchen, or maybe I was just assigned the kitchen. That suited me well. It was a revelation to wake up at 5 in the morning and go into the kitchen with freezing hands even in summer and make mustard and mayonnaise in big vats for 300 people and chop vegetables and potatoes.
There must have been more to it than that, but that’s what I remember. I also remember the members appeared hostile except for my father’s friends, who were, like my dad, amateur (ham) radio operators.
The other members would pass me by on the many wooded paths and completely ignore me. One day I finally asked someone why, probably at the communal meal table, and they said they can’t say hello to 300 people every day and besides they knew I would be leaving after the month was up. Still it stung. Some of them figured they could talk to me after the first three days.
One of the American radio operators and founders of the kibbutz told me stories of how he had requisitioned ships from America to smuggle illegal Jewish immigrants into then Palestine during the British mandate.
His wife one day asked me if I was interested in staying there and taking teacher training for their regional high school. I thought it would be quite a challenge, but I didn’t think long, as I didn’t want to think about how fluent I would have to become in Hebrew and stand in front of a class of tough Israeli teenage kibbutzniks either.
I was a sheltered if not spoiled American gal and couldn’t think of completely giving up capitalism and shopping. For fun on Saturday nights we watched movies in a tent or one TV for fifty people. During our time off we’d swim in the communal swimming pool. One day the same woman, who was a social worker, invited me to drive with her to a nearby Druze village. I assume now it was part of her job, and I’m sure she explained it to me, but I can’t recall the specifics.
What I remember was driving on unpaved roads into a ramshackle village that looked poverty stricken, but we entered a modern, clean, somewhat opulent home. We were warmly greeted and we were entertained on low sofas with tea from samovars and trays. We conversed with the men and the women were not allowed to socialize with us, just prepare the food and tea, but they peeked out smiling from behind a curtain that probably led to their kitchen.
I went back to Jerusalem. It was now July and very hot. The war was still going on, but eventually subsided and stopped. When I first came to the absorption center I was assigned a roommate who was some years older than me. She was not Jewish, or rather her mother was not Jewish but she was engaged to an Israeli man and they wanted to get married. They were fighting to get her converted and allowed to stay and marry.
She was an unhappy person. We were ill matched in a tiny although brand new apartment. My father wanted to stay in close touch as much as possible from 6000 miles away so I also became a ham radio operator before I left home, got my advanced license – I didn’t have any affinity for electronics and radio, but I did it for my family.
One night I stood outside the buildings because there was better reception, and held a two meter hand held radio and told my father in New Jersey on the radio how awful my roommate was. I don’t believe the roommate heard it, but horror of horrors, my voice carried to other apartments: live and learn.
I was a proud but secular Jew and this was Jerusalem. The first or second night of my stay in Israel, word traveled via ham radio that I was in Jerusalem, and they, meaning Israeli radio operators, rolled out the red carpet and came to greet me. It was all very innocent. These were young religious American kippa-wearing Israelis probably a decade younger than me. However, I got a backlash from religious American immigrant neighbors who assigned names to me that I can’t repeat here. I thought they were nice people until I heard that.
I started the ulpan. I tested and was placed in a certain level class. It ran five full days a week and was supposed to last five months. Every day was a short lunch break where I would have to walk pretty fast from the neighborhood of Talpiot to Baka to fill out paperwork at a bank and take care of other important matters that a new immigrant would have to address.
One day I arrived back late for the afternoon session of class. The teacher asked me stand and scolded me like a kindergartner in front of everyone. We were all adults. I left class and went to the principal and told her what happened and that this was the wrong level class for me. They had made a mistake. It was too easy. I needed to be in the next level up – my humble opinion, but it felt true. I was refused. So I dropped out of the best ulpan in the country. However, I met an American gal in that same class, a yeshiva student and recent Yale graduate ten years my junior. She decided to drop out too and drop out of her Yeshiva – she was just there for the year for the experience, not because she was a believer. We both decided something had to change.
I moved out of the absorption center and she moved out of wherever she was staying, and we scoured the real estate listings downtown and found an apartment to share. That was in the German Colony, a beautiful historic neighborhood, one of the earliest neighborhoods outside the Old City. We lived there a year until she went back to America, the lease was up, and I had to find another apartment. We got jobs. She taught English to Israelis and I worked as an English secretary in the Hebrew University in the microbiology department in Givat Ram, which was the science campus.
There was a lot of spare time and they would say relax, relax, drink another coffee, but as an American sitting and doing nothing on a job was not in my DNA. I would find things to do and I would read their scientific papers in their library so I could better understand their projects, and they of course, would explain to me what they were doing. Their projects included finding microscopic life in the Dead Sea and the long term desalination project.
There were two Arab doctoral students and teaching assistants in the Ph.D. program. One was hostile and we didn’t converse much. After all, I was considered a Zionist. I had willingly chosen to immigrate to Israel. The other one was a gem, bright, intelligent, personable, and got along well with his professors and fellow students. We had long conversations and he would explain to me the difficulties of being an Arab from the West Bank, not being able to ultimately teach in an Israeli university, partly because he was not a citizen of Israel and therefore could not serve in the Israeli army, which was all a pre-requisite.
I said why can’t you go to America to teach afterwards and he said, yes, he could, but this was his homeland and he wanted to stay. He told me the one or two universities in the West Bank were inferior to the Israeli universities and he didn’t want to teach there.
I had a master’s degree in psychoeducational processes or group dynamics, but no one in America at that time understood what that was, let alone Israel. I was interviewed before going on Aliyah, asked what I wanted to do in Israel, and I said I wanted to be a kindergarten teacher. Well why not? But they said I couldn’t. Kindergarteners are in their early language development. They couldn’t be hampered by someone who hardly knew the language and couldn’t pronounce properly.
The German Colony was a delight. We did a lot of walking out to the main street and through the back streets and alleys and out to the buses and sometimes just walked the few miles to downtown Jerusalem carrying our string grocery bags and sometimes stopping at the British Council Library to check out books and knitting patterns if we weren’t going to the laundromat.
Every yard had fruit trees for the picking, mostly oranges, lemons, and grapefruit, and wild cats prowled everywhere, jumping in and out of trash cans and causing us to jump. Late one night a group of cats climbed the tree outside my balcony and on hearing them I opened the balcony doors and they were having a council or pow wow sitting in a circle on the balcony howling to each other. I’m not making this up!
My roommate brought ingredients from home like hoisin sauce and soy sauce and became a whiz with Chinese stir fry. I bought an Israeli cookbook all in Hebrew and became proficient in stuffed cabbage, stuffed peppers and stuffed tomatoes Middle Eastern Style.
The Mahane Yehuda had a profusion of fresh vegetables and we would take advantage of what they had to offer every week. I remember the abundance of huge leeks for some reason. A half block down was a makolet, grocery store, with the best fresh pita bread every morning. That neighborhood showed up a few years ago on HGTV House Hunters and Americans were spending in the millions to make Aliyah and buy a whole building in the German Colony and renovate it.
Times change. Our rent was probably under $200 a month for a two bedroom apartment, two separate private balconies, a kitchen, living room, and dining room and bathroom. Sounds luxurious but it was really very basic. Nothing fancy. Sparse furnishings. For those who don’t know the bathroom was two rooms, one for the toilet and one for the shower or tub. Water would drip into the hall so every day you would have to mop up with a special Israeli designed mop, and even more importantly, you would have to turn on the electric wall switch to heat the bath water – maybe it was only a bathtub, no shower – and it could take an hour to heat. You had to be kind of quick before the hot water ran out. The plastic blinds opened with a pulley system either completely or leaving scattered openings. There were no screens. In the summer nights the mosquitoes would come through and bite unless you completely closed the stifling blinds or bought chemical tablets to put in an outlet that would emit a powder in the air to kill them, more likely would kill me in the long run!
I remember staying in the Sheraton in 2001 and you had automatic heat in January and hot water all the time. For the apartment we did have to pay in American dollars. I don’t know how or why. If you were Israeli, would you still do that? I don’t remember. For fun in the winter because the heat in our building was rationed according to the Va Bait, the house committee of fellow apartment dwellers. We would sit huddled over an electric heater in one of the bedrooms knitting sweaters.
The TV went off not much after the 9 p.m. news which was in Hebrew and we didn’t really understand it anyway. As soon as Hatikva ended, the TV went off and there was nothing else to do. Sometimes we would play cassettes on my boom box that I had brought from home. We would knit and chat for hours and laugh over the mishaps of the day and people encounters in a way that only two Americans could share. It wasn’t out of meanness. It was probably out of amazement, sometimes joy, mutual frustration, and shared loneliness. Two American gals with different lives, years apart, miles from home, our place of birth, friends for a year that would otherwise never have been.
The post Looking back: Experience of an Ordinary Olah Hadashah (new immigrant) 1982-1983: Part I appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
This week, the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast features a panel discussion of antisemitism. Rabbi Address (upper left) welcomes guests (clockwise from upper right): Randi Boyette, associate regional director for education, Anti-Defamation League Philadelphia; Andrew Goretzky, regional director, ADL Philadelphia, and Rabbi Stacy Rigler, RJE, executive director of the Association of Reform Jewish Educators.On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, a panel of guests discuss the recent rise in antisemitism in the US following the October 7 Hamas-led mass murder of civilians in Israel. The guests are Andrew Goretzky, regional director of the Anti-Defamation League in Philadelphia; Randi Boyette, associate regional director for education, ADL; and Rabbi Stacy Rigler, RJE, executive director of the Association of Reform Jewish Educators.
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions.
Listen to the Audio PodcastYou can listen to the audio podcast version in the player below, or subscribe to the podcast in one of the popular platforms by clicking one of the buttons below the player.
- Apple Podcasts
- YouTube
- Spotify
- Podchaser
- Amazon Music About the GuestsAndrew M. GoretzkyAndrew M. Goretsky, Ed.D. was named Regional Director for ADL Philadelphia in January 2022. The ADL Philadelphia Regional Office serves eastern Pennsylvania, southern New Jersey and the entire state of Delaware. ADL and fights antisemitism and all forms of discrimination through education, advocacy and investigation.
Before joining ADL, Goretsky was Dean of Students at Arcadia University. While there he worked to promote justice, equity, diversity and inclusion through daily interactions with students, faculty, and staff, and by leading staff in the development of initiatives that served the needs of their diverse population.
Before joining Arcadia, Goretsky served on both the Committee for International Student Success and the Diversity and Inclusion Committee at The George Washington University, serving as a member of the Multicultural Philosophy committee at the University of Maryland, and leading the Native American Special Interest residential community at the University of Massachusetts at Amherst.
Goretsky began his career working with students with learning differences at Landmark College in Putney VT. He holds a Doctor of Education, Higher Education Administration from The George Washington University and a Master of Arts, Student Personnel Administration from New York University.
Randy BoyetteRandi Boyette is a Senior Associate Regional Director for the Anti-Defamation League and has served as the ADL Education Director in Eastern Pennsylvania, Southern New Jersey and Delaware since 2003. Her responsibilities include managing all of ADL’s anti-bias, anti-bullying, and cyberbullying programs; antisemitism education programming; and ADL Holocaust education initiatives.
Born, raised, and educated in Philadelphia, Randi holds a bachelor’s degree in History from Temple University and a master’s degree in Holocaust and Genocide Studies from Gratz College. She is the co-author of Let it Burn, a book about MOVE and the city of Philadelphia.
Rabbi Stacy Rigler, RJERabbi Stacy Rigler, RJE is Executive Director of the Assocation of Reform Jewish Educators. A lifelong learner, Stacy is passionate about inspiring excellence, advancing the field of Jewish education, and supporting fellow educators and students. Stacy served as Rabbi Educator for 17 years at Reform Congregation Keneseth Israel in Elkins Park, PA then went on to work as a Senior Program Manger for Jewish Education at the Foundation for Jewish Camp. She has also worked for as Jewish life advisor at URJ Camp Harlam. Stacy is on the volunteer leadership team of the Religious Action Center-PA, #Onward Hebrew, and serves on the URJ Camp Harlam Camp Council as well as the Union for Reform Judaism Board. She received her MAJE and Rabbinic ordination from HUC-JIR and her undergraduate degree from Emory University. When not at work Stacy volunteers her time with POWER (PA’s Faith in Action organization) and enjoys exercising and spending time with family and friends.
The post ENCORE BROADCAST, Seekers of Meaning 12/01/2023: Fighting Antisemitism with Educational Resources appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
Serendipity has always been my favorite Webster word. To me, it is the hope that whatever gets thrown at us we have choices in our path to take the right turn or the left turn, and the one we travel is the right one, with lessons learned. It also says to me that within the chaos of the world, other’s paths intersect with ours for reasons we don’t always know why, but has meaning, big or small, magical or mundane.
Years ago an elder cousin, who recently passed away, gave me Ancestry as a Chanukah present. She was a generation older than me and we seemed to be the ones who passed on the rich history of our family’s migration from Ukraine to Chicago, to Los Angeles. Over the decades, some stayed in Chicago while others moved on to Los Angeles.
Recently, I got a message on Ancestry from a woman in Chicago, saying, “I think we’re related.” She writes that she’s pretty sure that her great uncle is my maternal grandfather’s father, as the last name for everyone was the same. It was an unusual last name, not Cohen or Levy or Shapiro. I never knew my great-grandfather, as he died when his wife and five children got off the boat at Ellis Island. (That might explain that my memories of my great-grandbubbe were of a bitter/not-so-nice person!) The woman asked me my great-grandfather’s name, along with some of the other relatives.
I stopped in my tracks and realized I had no idea what my great-grandfather’s name was! No one had ever talked about him, made reference to him or had stories to share about him. I felt so sad for a life left so behind.
I immediately contacted the daughter of my cousin and asked her if she knew our great-grandfather’s name and instantly she replied, “I have no idea!” Before her mom died, she created a family tree along with pictures and, sure enough, the name my new relative mentioned was one in the same of her great uncle and my great-grandfather! She confirmed the family connection after I emailed her a picture of him, of which she had the same one.
Here’s the serendipity of this: 24 hours after I got the email about my great-grandfather, I was with my 17-year-old granddaughter who was telling me about a WWll project she was doing for a class. She was aware that my Father was in Europe during the war and kept a diary while in fox-holes in Germany and France. I have shared many of the writings with my kids and grandkids. She asked if she could use the diary as part of her presentation and I agreed and told her I had other WWll artifacts that I would give her.
One is a Good Conduct medal with my Father’s name engraved on it and the other is a piece of paper (that I had framed) but as I closely looked at it, I realized I had not paid too much attention to exactly what it was. Upon closer examination, I noticed how fragile it was, how very small the printed words were and that the handwritten info was so faded that I could barely read it! I took a flashlight and realized the name on this USA Registration Certificate was from 1918 and had my Dad’s father’s name on it!
I had always thought this item was part of my Dad’s WWll memorabilia! But here was my paternal grandfather’s army registration card for WWl! I never knew my grandfather as he died when my Father was nine years old. No one had ever talked about him, made reference to him or had stories to share about him, other than he was shot and killed in his Cleveland gas station by the Jewish Mofia. I felt so sad for a life left so behind.
Within a day’s time span, two men I did not know, nor had any presence in our family’s stories, who were my great-grandfather and my grandfather, but left their legacies on our family trees via me and my various family members, serendipitously appeared, reminding us they had existed!
This has been one of those Twilight Zone moments for me, kind of weird, sort of feeling haunted by two ghosts showing up for no rhyme or reason. But I truly felt their presence and suddenly decided that maybe that’s all they wanted, as no one had ever talked about them, made reference to them or had stories to share about them. I feel so sad for two lives left so behind.
Among other artifacts I had looked through, I came across a very faded, old, piece of browned paper with torn edges from my high school days. I was editor of my high school newspaper and had written this article. I want to share some of it as it seems so appropriate for the time of year and state-of-the-world with its universal message that is timeless:
To me Christmas has but one significance and that is Brotherhood, for as a Jew and one who does not celebrate Christmas, this time of year is about “Goodwill Towards Men.” During the holiday vacation, I work in my family’s men’s clothing store where I wrap holiday packages. I notice the “just-looking” shoppers, the “hurried-housewife” shopper, the “I’ll-take-my-time” shopper, the “high-spirited” shopper who is humming Jingle Bells and the “I’m-tired-so-I’ll-just-take-this-red-tie” shopper! After wrapping their package in colorful Christmas or Chanukah paper, I wish our customers a “Happy Holiday!” {not knowing that in the early 1960s I was being PC!!} and I usually got a “Merry Christmas!” or “Happy Holiday!” right back! No one was too stressed to share a holiday cheer.
I think what helps the spirit of Christmas to be in the hearts of people is that it is brought out into the open. Nobody could possibly miss what time of year it is with all the colorful decorations and sparkling lights which brings glow to people’s faces. It seems folks go out of their way to be more pleasant, take joy in buying gifts for others, showing concern for those less fortunate. I really like that schools have canned food and toy drives. It’s apparent that the holiday season is about giving and caring for others. It’s too bad this is more prevalent during Christmas and not year round.
To me, the spirit of Christmas is, “Peace on Earth, Goodwill Towards Men” which is a message that all Gentiles and Jews want.
The Derrick Diary, 1963.
Sometimes the past creeps up on us in most unusual ways. It may cause confusion, pleasure, anger or just a moment of memory. In fact, Webster might say that the metaphor for “The Ghost of Christmas Past” is MEMORY: The spirit of our past, our present and what is yet to be.
For the spirit of the season, I hope we all share stories with our loved ones, especially the very young ones, so no person has a legacy where, “No one had ever talked about them, made reference to them or had stories to share about them.” I hope no one’s life is left behind.
And maybe in this crazed electronic, AI, advanced age we live in, Great-grandpa Morton and Grandpa Sam KNOW they have a story we talked about, made reference to them and shared their place in our lives.
My prayer for 2024 is that there IS, “Peace of Earth, Goodwill Towards All Men and Woman!” L’chaim!…Sandy
The post The Ghosts of Christmas Past appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Rabbi Gary Glickstein, co-executive vice president, discusses the mission of the National Association of Retired Reform Rabbis (NAORRR), and how retired Reform rabbis confront the challenges of aging and transitioning to new life stages.
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions.
Listen to the Audio PodcastYou can listen to the audio podcast version in the player below, or subscribe to the podcast in one of the popular platforms by clicking one of the buttons below the player.
- Apple Podcasts
- YouTube
- Spotify
- Podchaser
- Amazon Music About the GuestRabbi Gary GlicksteinRabbi Gary A. Glickstein was the spiritual leader of Temple Beth Sholom in Miami, FL, between 1985-2018. He received his Bachelor of Arts from the University of California, Los Angeles, in 1971. He continued his education at Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion in Cincinnati, Ohio, and received his rabbinical ordination in 1974.
Rabbi Glickstein served as Assistant Rabbi of Congregation Bene Israel/Rockdale in Cincinnati, Ohio from 1974-1977 and then became Rabbi of Temple Sinai in Worcester, Massachusetts from 1977-1985.
In 1985, Rabbi Glickstein came to Temple Beth Sholom in Miami Beach as a vibrant, young scholar to serve as Senior Rabbi. His vitality and youthful approach have attracted many new members over the years as he has encouraged a greater involvement of the congregation in synagogue and Jewish life.
Rabbi Glickstein has distinguished himself as one of the leaders of the Miami community. He is the founding Executive Director of the Woldenberg Center for Jewish Life and serves on the advisory boards of the Lehrman Community Day School and the Greater Miami Coalition for a Drug Free Community. He is a board member and finance committee member of the Greater Miami Jewish Federation. He serves as a board member for the Foundation for Jewish Philanthropies, is a board member and advisory board member for the Golden Care Foundation and is Past President of the Greater Miami Chapter Board of American Friends of the Hebrew University. Rabbi Glickstein is also Past President of the Rabbinical Association of Greater Miami.
Nationally, Rabbi Glickstein has distinguished himself as Past Chairman, Executive Committee of the UJA National Rabbinic Cabinet, Past Chairman and President of the National Rabbinic Cabinet of Israel Bonds and the Treasurer of the Central Conference of American Rabbis. He is also a board member of the American Friends of ALYN Hospital.
Rabbi Glickstein’s commitment to the cross-cultural community in Miami is evidenced by his position as Past Chairman of the Religious Leaders Coalition and membership on the Executive Committee and Past Chair of the Education Committee for the Miami Coalition for a Drug Free Community. He is also a Past Board Member for the Miami Human Rights Commission and the Past Chairman of the Judaic Studies Advisory Committee to the president of Barry University.
The post Seekers of Meaning 12/15/2023: Rabbi Gary Glickstein of the National Association of Retired Reform Rabbis (NAORRR) appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
It occurs to Pooh and Piglet that they hadn’t heard from Eeyore for several days, so they put on their hats and coats and trotted across the Hundred Acre Wood to Eeyore’s stick house. Inside the house was Eeyore.
“Hello Eeyore,” said Pooh.
“Hello Pooh. Hello Piglet,” said Eeyore, in a Glum Sounding Voice.
“We just thought we’d check in on you,” said Piglet, “because we hadn’t heard from
You and so we wanted to know if you were okay.”
Eeyore was silent for a moment. “Am I okay?” he asked, eventually. “Well, I don’t know, to be honest. Are any of us really okay? That’s what I ask myself. All I can tell you, Pooh and Piglet, is that right now I feel really rather Sad, and Alone, and Not Much Fun To Be Around At All. Which is why I haven’t bothered you. Because you wouldn’t want to waste your time hanging out with someone who is Sad, and Alone, and Not Much Fun To Be Around At All, would you now.”
Pooh looked at Piglet, and Piglet looked at Pooh, and they both sat down, one on
either side Of Eeyore in his stick house.
Eeyore looked at them in surprise. “What are you doing?”
“We’re sitting here with you,” said Pooh, “because we are your friends. And true
Friends don’t care if someone is feeling Sad, or Alone, or Not Much Fun To Be Around At All. True friends are there for you anyway. And so here we are.”
“Oh,” said Eeyore. “Oh.”
And the three of them sat there in silence, and while Pooh and Piglet said nothing at
all; somehow, almost imperceptibly, Eeyore started to feel a very tiny little bit better.
Because Pooh and Piglet were there.
No more; no less.
My friend Reb Chaya read this to me. I truthfully don’t remember where she found it, so I can’t thank whoever put it out for me to see. And hearing this story brought me right back to my study of the book of Job when I started my Rabbinic studies. I found that study of this book of the Bible was life changing, transformational. Its real deep message for me was about the miseries and mysteries of life; why do bad things happen to good people? But it also had messages about friendship, quite relevant to our world today.
As the story goes, Job suffers through massive adversity, everything is taken away from him. His family, his possessions, and his health. Job is then visited by his friends. Starting in Chapter 2, Verse 12, these friends raised their voices and wept, each of them tore his robe, and then his friends sat down on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights with no one speaking a word to him. ‘For they saw that his pain was very great.” So, at first, they just sat with him, just like Pooh and Piglet.
But then Job and his friends engage in more than 21 chapters of argument about whether or not Job did anything that would justify his punishments. Job claimed his innocence. His friends argued that God is all knowing and is just, and that Job must have done something wrong in order to bring upon himself such horrible results.
The young man Elihu then states his own thoughts. He condemns Job’s friends’ claims, and Job’s claim of being without sin, declares God’s justice, condemns Job’s attitude toward God, and exalts God’s greatness. He must have been wrong, because after his speech he is not ever heard from again. But at least he showed respect, as he allowed the others to speak first before offering his own comments. Lack of respect is something I wrote about before (see What Happened to Please, Thank You and I Respectfully Disagree, 11/8/22). In today’s post-October 7 world, we need to practice more respect. Elihu seems to model appropriate behavior for dealing with people with whom you disagree (I will indeed talk a little more about this in my next column).
Job’s friends, who clearly weren’t suffering like Job, started to try to define his problems, and tell him how to solve them. They became fixers, a trait I know very well. When I see people suffering, I want to jump in and do something, say something, that will make them feel better.
But it doesn’t always work.
I had someone ask me once, “What makes you think you know how to solve their problems better than they do?”
Perhaps being a “fixer” smacks of a little arrogance and self-righteousness. But even if we can’t fix, we want to help.
Since October 7, many people are afraid and upset. They worry about the war in Israel. Some worry about the Israeli hostages, and the Palestinians who have been released and may be terrorists. They worry about the innocent Palestinian children. We can’t help but worry about the massive increase in antisemitism in this country, and all over the world. Our friends and family don’t feel safe at the JCC, at their synagogues, or on their college campuses. And some of them, maybe lots of them will withdraw and hide.
There are days when I want to pull the covers over my head, and scream “I don’t wanna, I’m not gonna, you can’t make me.”
I’m sure I am not alone.
You still want to help? What do you do?
Like Pooh and Piglet, take notice when a friend is not in communication. Get in contact, and even if they think they are not fun to be around, be around them. And learn from what Job’s friends did right. They went to him, they empathized, and they sat with him. They spent seven days in silence. They (and Job) would have been better off if they had stayed quiet. After all, sometimes the best advice is no advice at all. What is most needed is your presence. Go be present.
And to be clear. I may want to hide. But not my wife. Debbie may be afraid, and worried, but not deterred. She went out and got a neon Jewish star to join our electric Hanukiah in the window. I was concerned. She told me in quite colorful language what those who want to hurt us could do to themselves. She is proud of who she is and will not shy away from showing it.
So be proud. Stand up for who you are. If it is too dangerous to put things in your window, or to publicly wear a kipah or a star or a chai around your neck, go be with other Jews and celebrate the holiday, or go to shul or go to a rally or a vigil.
Be proud of who you are, even if you don’t agree with everything Israel is doing.
Hillel and Shammai didn’t agree on very much. But they didn’t stop arguing for their points of view.
And they did not start hiding their Jewishness.
Don’t hide yours.
The post Eeyore and Job (and a Little Debbie) appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
At age 80, should I reconnect physically with my past?
Hey, I’m endeavoring to live in the present so to thrive
Concerning core family and childhood friends far away,
Must I visit them to become more aware and alive?
What might I learn in seeing people and places from long ago?
I escaped to discover myself, with scant thought of looking back
Ah, but charged memories possess a potency all their own
Should I face them to discern if any salutary feelings I still lack?
For a long time, I pretty much ignored distant people and scenes
It was enough for me to phone or text the dear persons still living
Should I see them because of obligation, affection or curiosity?
Remembering I’ve received less energy than I had been giving.
After over a decade of being physically absent from past ties
Internal signals started me wondering about them in my head
Am I missing what’s precious where constancy meets change?
Am I overlooking genuine gold by thinking it’s merely lead?
Maybe my past people have grown like I believe I’ve done
Might past bonds evolve into deeper feelings in the now?
Is it worth my time and dollars to explore it face to face?
Am I expecting a whimper when what awaits me is a wow!?
Okay, enough of imagining what may or may not be real
For Thanksgiving 2023, I’ll explore this situation for 15 days
Sharing ample time and space, intimacy may well expand
I’ll be searching their eyes to see if our souls are more ablaze.
South Jersey, Philly and New York City are on my agenda
I scheduled the relatives and friends as in my timeframe fit
I enjoyed time with them all, while delighting in fine eating
I listened to them, refraining from dazzling them with my wit.
Because each person is different, each conversation was unique
We recalled the past, claimed the present, imagined us ahead
We embraced and illuminated each other in positive patterns
Minds open, hearts engaged, voices saying what could be said.
We spoke with ease and grace, with love and joy nicely flowing
Touching happy and sad topics, we renewed our karmic lease
I recommitted to the people with me on this physical plane still
Harmony with the past is how to become presently at peace.
The post Making Peace with My Past appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Rabbi Cantor Judy Greenfeld discusses her spiritual journey as founder of the Nachshon Minyan in Los Angeles and as a “concierge rabbi.”
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions.
Listen to the Audio PodcastYou can listen to the audio podcast version in the player below, or subscribe to the podcast in one of the popular platforms by clicking one of the buttons below the player.
- Apple Podcasts
- YouTube
- Spotify
- Podchaser
- Amazon Music About the GuestRabbi Cantor Judy GreenfeldRabbi Cantor Judy Greenfeld is not your ordinary “Temple Rabbi.” She founded Nachshon Minyan in 2005, a spiritual and religious community geared toward unaffiliated Jews and Jews who want to update their negative feelings about Judaism.
After a successful career in fitness and wellness, and with a curiosity to explore the spirituality in the faith she was born into, Rabbi Judy enrolled in the Academy for Jewish Religion later in life. That is where she received her Cantorial ordination and a Master’s Degree in Jewish Sacred Music and Rabbinic ordination.
She is a current member of the California Board of Rabbis and serves on the Sandra Caplan Beit Din in Los Angeles. Rabbi Judy is also a lecturer and co-author (with Dr. Tamar Frankiel) of two books: Minding the Temple of the Soul and Entering the Temple of Dreams.
Both a teacher and healer, Rabbi Judy has built a following as a concierge Rabbi serving the Greater Los Angeles community. She weaves an array of healing practices, from dreamwork, meditation, breath work, healing through somatic dance, sound and sonic geometry and incorporates other ways to understand and open up the ancient scriptures and meaning of Torah, Mussar and Kabbalah. For more information on Rabbi Judy, please visit RabbiCantorJudy.org.
The post Seekers of Meaning 12/8/2023: Rabbi Cantor Judy Greenfeld, “Concierge Rabbi” at Nachson Minyan, Los Angeles appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
There I was: standing in a group of more than 500 Jewish UW-Madison students on Sunday, 8 October 2023, with tears streaming down all of our faces. We all stood there, crying in solidarity for the Israelis who have been murdered and kidnapped due to the impending war in the Middle East. I have always believed that the Holocaust was so far removed from my life and that I would never have to experience what it is like for innocent Jewish people to get killed for being who they are and upholding their age-old traditions. Yet, here I stand in the year 2023 — more than 70 years since the Holocaust — and more than 1,000 innocent people have died at the hands of Hamas, an extreme terrorist group, whose main goal is to kill every living Jewish person alive. Does this sound familiar? I have never felt closer to Anne Frank in my life.
Before this past Sunday night, I planned on starting this paper with the words, “I always felt as though I could never connect to Anne Frank.” In writing this, I originally intended to express the fact that I have never been in a position to experience the same amount of oppression that Jews, like Anne, experienced throughout Europe had back in the 1930s and 1940s. I have never had to go into hiding for fear of my life based on my religion, traditions, and culture.
However, Anne did. She was a young 13-year-old girl who lived in a world where terror and anti-semitism were at the forefront of political leaders’ minds. Anne Frank used her diary as a means to reflect and process the fear regardingt was happening around her and her impending hope of leaving the Annex, which served as a catalyst of aspiration in a time of horror and after.
At the request of Anne’s father, Otto, Anne and the rest of her family immigrated from Germany to Amsterdam in 1934. The rise of Hitler and the Nazi Party was emanating and the anti-Jewish narrative was already clear and prominent as Anne shared, “Our freedom was severely restricted by a series of anti-Jewish decrees” (Saturday, 20 June 1942) (Frank, 13). When Anne turned 13, she received a diary as a birthday present. It was in this diary that she wrote down every emotion, experience, and hope she had as the family went into hiding in 1942. Anne described how her diary and “writing has raised me [her] somewhat from “the depths of despair” (Friday, 24 December 1943) (Frank, 100). Anne’s depths of despair included living in a 500-square-foot secret, hidden annex for almost two years as she was unable to go outside out of fear of being shot or gassed by the many Nazis wandering the Dutch streets.
As a young girl, Anne had her whole life ahead of her. She had many friends, loved to tell jokes, and wanted nothing more than to just be a kid. However, everything shifted, leaving Anne to share the small annex with eight other people and share a room with an adultman. This was not the life she wanted nor the life she deserved. Each day, Anne had to grow accustomed to dealing with the fearful situations occurring around her. Anne wrote about her fear of, “Not being able to go outside upsets me [her] more than I [she] can say, and I’m [she’s] terrified our [their] hiding place will be discovered and that we’ll [they’ll] be shot. That, of course, is a fairly dismal prospect” (comment added on September 28 1942 to Saturday, 11 July 1942’s entry) (Frank, 24). I cannot imagine being so young and worrying about issues such as going out in the street and getting killed for no reason other than your beliefs. This is why Anne’s diary is so important; it follows what is happening throughout the war, giving us, as readers and historians, a first-person experience of her emotions. In one entry, Anne stated, “I still haven’t got over my fear of planes and shooting, and I crawl into Father’s bed nearly every night for comfort” (Wednesday, 10 March 1943) (Frank, 60). No matter what was going on in the world around Anne, her courage was undeniable and she remarkably learned how to process the fear and grief surrounding her. Writing in Kitty allowed her to do just that: process the unfathomable. When it comes to fear, Anne did a superb job at expressing herself on each and every page, putting us as the audience in her shoes, and allowing us to understand how she was feeling and the situations surrounding her.
Hope is a sacred thing to someone since it helps people through hard times and gives them something to believe in or look forward to. Anne was this same way. As a reader, it is very challenging to read the parts of the diary detailing what ends up happening to Anne and her family. Reading about the life she had hoped for post-war is saddening as we know she is one of the six million who tragically lost their lives. She spoke, “Later on, when everything has returned to normal, I’ll probably wonder how we, who always lived in such comfortable circumstances, could have ‘sunk’ so low (Sunday, 2 May 1943) (Frank, 68).
Anne’s idea about life once they were safely able to leave the Annex allows her to dream and keep her spirits up. A powerful quote within the journal highlighted a conversation between Anne and Peter. At one point, Peter commented and Anne wrote about it in her diary by sharing that, “He said life would have been much easier if he’d been a Christian or could become one after the war” (Wednesday, 16 February 1944) (Frank 122). I can understand why Peter said what he did. By not being Jewish, he would not have to be the target of this mass hate and persecution. I have a challenge with this as I am a proud Jew, but this is my privilege to be so far removed from the Holocaust. However, even now, there is a fine line between being a proud Jew and being fearful of what is going on around us. In the past few days, I find myself wearing Hebrew clothing while simultaneously keeping my head on a swivel for fear of how someone may react to my attire. To add, Anne does an impressive job at expressing her hope while in a very negative situation. Anne’s hope of being a writer and a journalist allows me to sit here today and write this paper. In the end, after her death, she ultimately accomplished her main goal, thanks to her dad, who was the sole survivor of the Frank family.
Anne is considered the voice of a lost generation, a generation of children who were murdered for being Jewish and doing absolutely nothing wrong. The Holocaust was a human rights issue resulting in the genocide of over six million people. In today’s world, we read Anne’s story and comment about how “the Holocaust could never happen again.”
Yet in the year 2023, there is a similar anti-Jewish sentiment and the violence against Jews is as close as it was to Anne’s generation than ever before. We should take Anne’s words as an inspiration and catalyst for change. Jews and non-Jews alike can come together and fight against the current injustices of tyranny and terrorism, not only in Israel but our world as a whole.
Personally, I believe if I do not do anything to help, then reading Anne’s diary is all for nothing. Therefore, I will use my voice and be a loud and proud Jew.
I am confident she would be proud of the voices being uplifted during these challenging times.
The post Anne and Her Pen: The Fear and Hope Through the Mind of a Young Girl appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
This week, the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast features a panel discussion of antisemitism. Rabbi Address (upper left) welcomes guests (clockwise from upper right): Randi Boyette, associate regional director for education, Anti-Defamation League Philadelphia; Andrew Goretzky, regional director, ADL Philadelphia, and Rabbi Stacy Rigler, RJE, executive director of the Association of Reform Jewish Educators.On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, a panel of guests discuss the recent rise in antisemitism in the US following the October 7 Hamas-led mass murder of civilians in Israel. The guests are Andrew Goretzky, regional director of the Anti-Defamation League in Philadelphia; Randi Boyette, associate regional director for education, ADL; and Rabbi Stacy Rigler, RJE, executive director of the Association of Reform Jewish Educators.
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions.
Listen to the Audio PodcastYou can listen to the audio podcast version in the player below, or subscribe to the podcast in one of the popular platforms by clicking one of the buttons below the player.
- Apple Podcasts
- YouTube
- Spotify
- Podchaser
- Amazon Music About the GuestsAndrew M. GoretzkyAndrew M. Goretsky, Ed.D. was named Regional Director for ADL Philadelphia in January 2022. The ADL Philadelphia Regional Office serves eastern Pennsylvania, southern New Jersey and the entire state of Delaware. ADL and fights antisemitism and all forms of discrimination through education, advocacy and investigation.
Before joining ADL, Goretsky was Dean of Students at Arcadia University. While there he worked to promote justice, equity, diversity and inclusion through daily interactions with students, faculty, and staff, and by leading staff in the development of initiatives that served the needs of their diverse population.
Before joining Arcadia, Goretsky served on both the Committee for International Student Success and the Diversity and Inclusion Committee at The George Washington University, serving as a member of the Multicultural Philosophy committee at the University of Maryland, and leading the Native American Special Interest residential community at the University of Massachusetts at Amherst.
Goretsky began his career working with students with learning differences at Landmark College in Putney VT. He holds a Doctor of Education, Higher Education Administration from The George Washington University and a Master of Arts, Student Personnel Administration from New York University.
Randy BoyetteRandi Boyette is a Senior Associate Regional Director for the Anti-Defamation League and has served as the ADL Education Director in Eastern Pennsylvania, Southern New Jersey and Delaware since 2003. Her responsibilities include managing all of ADL’s anti-bias, anti-bullying, and cyberbullying programs; antisemitism education programming; and ADL Holocaust education initiatives.
Born, raised, and educated in Philadelphia, Randi holds a bachelor’s degree in History from Temple University and a master’s degree in Holocaust and Genocide Studies from Gratz College. She is the co-author of Let it Burn, a book about MOVE and the city of Philadelphia.
Rabbi Stacy Rigler, RJERabbi Stacy Rigler, RJE is Executive Director of the Assocation of Reform Jewish Educators. A lifelong learner, Stacy is passionate about inspiring excellence, advancing the field of Jewish education, and supporting fellow educators and students. Stacy served as Rabbi Educator for 17 years at Reform Congregation Keneseth Israel in Elkins Park, PA then went on to work as a Senior Program Manger for Jewish Education at the Foundation for Jewish Camp. She has also worked for as Jewish life advisor at URJ Camp Harlam. Stacy is on the volunteer leadership team of the Religious Action Center-PA, #Onward Hebrew, and serves on the URJ Camp Harlam Camp Council as well as the Union for Reform Judaism Board. She received her MAJE and Rabbinic ordination from HUC-JIR and her undergraduate degree from Emory University. When not at work Stacy volunteers her time with POWER (PA’s Faith in Action organization) and enjoys exercising and spending time with family and friends.
The post Seekers of Meaning 12/01/2023: Fighting Antisemitism with Educational Resources appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
Let’s be clear about with whom Israel is at war with: It is Hamas.
Hamas is a world-recognized fundamentalist Sunni Muslim terrorist organization founded in Gaza in 1987 by members of the Muslim Brotherhood. The antithesis of a lovely, peace loving, law-abiding org.
As the story unfolds, October 7, 2023 “is a date which will live in infamy” — the independent Sovereign State of Israel was suddenly and deliberately attacked by that world renown terrorist organization known as Hamas. A terrorist organization is not bound by rules of international laws of war. Yet, it does appear that too many people and countries have an issue with the sovereign State of Israel defending herself as she determines her appropriate reactions — guided by those laws that are foreign to Hamas.
Jews Attacked!! Jews kidnapped! Jews murdered! Jews sexually abused! All preordained by the Hamas charter. If you haven’t read their charter — then your understanding of the situation is lacking.
Many of our “Writings” are not only brilliant — but prophetic. In Kohelet (Ecclesiastes) — Chapter 3:
5) A time to cast stones and a time to gather stones; a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing.
8) A time to love and a time to hate; a time for war and a time for peace.
The terrorists have their writings, and we Jews have ours. They are bent on killing us and we are bent on living.
As the old cliché goes, which is also a phrase adapted from the Book of Ecclesiastes, “Whatever has happened, will happen again, whatever has been done, will be done again. There is nothing new on earth.”
True to those words — there has always been antisemitism, and very likely, it will always be. As has happened, sometimes the hatred is buried, some deeper than others, and too often it does come up to the surface rearing its ugly head as is so evident today.
Israel’s concerns regarding eliminating ALL Hamas from Gaza stems from the acknowledged problem; i.e., if we do not eradicate ALL the termites in our home, the few left will certainly multiply and successfully destroy the house.
Killing G-d’s creatures to preserve our safety and health…is explained in Ch 3 — A time to kill and a time to heal; a time to break and a time to build.
We, as a people do not promote taking a human life, but, to quote Tzvi Freeman, his key words, “Balance and Harmony. In all things in life there must be balance. A man must know to recede, he must know to attack. He must know to be a rabbit, he must know to be a lion. Only then is life balanced and healthy.” If we don’t act as a lion at times, we are deliberately allowing ourselves to be killed. Pikuach Nefesh, do what you must to save your life.
A close read of Hamas’s founding documents clearly shows its intentions. There is NO room, not a bit, for any leniency in their determination to annihilate ALL Jews — total genocidal intentions. It is essential to absorb –“As they are NOT a formal recognized governmental agency acting on behalf of a country and therefore do not follow international laws” — they are deemed a terrorist group out to get you and me. Torah warns us about Amalek, in every generation. We have seen it and it is here!
It is interesting that with the reality of massacres, abuses, kidnapping, we still acted as humanely as possible given the circumstances, dropping flyers, following International Law, warning the innocent to leave. Don’t all so-called invading aggressive armies do that?
While we value LIFE — we must recognize that others do not. We will always be opposites, and therefore, WE need to win!
Yes, a basic principle of Jewish law and custom is the sanctity of all human life. The majority of decisors, poseks and halachic rulers, including the most authoritative and influential ones of the last half century – Rabbi Feinstein, Rabbi Tendler — have ruled that one should allow natural death to take its course, and that one is not required – and, according to some — even forbidden to intervene in such cases. Their opinions stem from a Talmudic story of Rabbi Judah the Patriarch, who was dying in great pain. His students prayed for his life to be extended while his maidservant interrupted their prayers so that his soul could pass and his suffering could end. The Talmud’s sympathies are with the maidservant.
Generally, Jewish law favors utilizing palliative care to ease suffering, as is such as those applied at hospices. This even includes gradually increasing morphine injections as long as one intends to reduce pain and not to hasten a patient’s death. At the same time, Jewish law prohibits suicide or so-called “mercy killings.” For this reason, Israel and many other countries do not permit active euthanasia or even the slightly more moderate model of physician-assisted suicide (in which I wholeheartedly believe) whereby healthcare professionals provide the necessary tools for the patient to take his own life.
The whole topic in Jewish law on withdrawing or withholding treatment from the terminally ill has evolved from early times when a feather under the nose determined whether someone was alive, or putting one’s ear to a chest to listen for a heartbeat.
These outdated techniques remain difficult to correspond with modern technologies, to say the least. However, Jewish bioethicists significantly disagree regarding “passive euthanasia,” which can constitute either the withholding or withdrawing of treatment from the terminally ill. In the 16th century, Rabbi Moshe Isserles codified three major principles: (1) One should not cause them to die more slowly; (2) One may not do any action that hastens the death; (3) One may remove something that is merely hindering the soul’s departure. Unfortunately, these principles remain subject to different interpretations.
While Judaism DOES value the sanctity of life, the widespread perception that Jewish law unequivocally demands that all measures be taken to prolong the life of a dying patient is incorrect.
According to most authorities today — the sanctity of human life and the duty to protect that life does not translate into a duty to prolong suffering for a terminally ill patient for whom there is no hope of a cure.
Make sure that your wishes are in writing — and people know your wishes, and where you put your document!
The post Jewish Focus on Sanctity of Life appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Rabbi David Levin discusses his recent visit to Israel with a delegation from the Jewish Federation of Greater Philadelphia. The group spent 56 hours on the ground in Israel getting briefings and touring the sites of the October 7 Hamas-led massacres of Israeli civilians.
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions.
Listen to the Audio PodcastYou can listen to the audio podcast version in the player below, or subscribe to the podcast in one of the popular platforms by clicking one of the buttons below the player.
- Apple Podcasts
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- Amazon Music About the GuestRabbi David LevinRabbi David Levin is the founder and manages Jewish Relationships Initiative, a 501c3, dedicated to helping seekers of meaning through Jewish wisdom, focusing on relationships and end-of-life challenges. He teaches nationally on these topics and maintains the following websites: www.RabbiDavidLevin.com and www.EthicalLegacy.com, sharing his work with others.
His book Jewish End Of Life Care In A Virtual Age: Our Traditions Reimagined is available through Amazon;https://amzn.to/35uk5.
Rabbi David served as the Red Cross Regional Leader of the Disaster Spiritual Care team, and on the Covid-19 Taskforce of Neshama, Association of Jewish Chaplains through the pandemic.
He currently serves on the JCRC Board and is co-chair of the Domestic Affairs Committee. Rabbi David also serves on the Executive Committee of the Philadelphia Board of Rabbis as VP. Rabbi David serves on the Regional Board of NIF.
The post Seekers of Meaning 11/24/2023: Rabbi David Levin discusses his recent visit to Israel with the Jewish Federation of Greater Philadelphia appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
Weeping in Ramallah for her exiled children
Was not the first time Rachel wept.
Blistering tears ran down her ashen face,
When Laban told her of his plan,
To put her weak eyed sister in her stead.
Her father did not know of love,
At least not the love that she and Jacob knew.
So begging him to let her wed for love,
Was to no avail.
Her father was the master in her world,
And any man, save Jacob, would be too.
So in her youthful pain she ran,
Blurting out her threat to tell.
But she was caught,
Held and guarded,
Till the wedding feast was past.
Confined, she wept at the deception,
Not understanding the balances on to which Jacob had been placed.
Not knowing that deception begets deception.
And the judgment was on him
(For an ill begotten blessing),
With an ill begotten wife.)
But what did Rachel know of balances
And mothers and sons who deceive fathers and brothers.
She only knew of longing and of love,
And did not care for ways a maiden
Could not fully comprehend.
At the wedding feast, her Jacob did not know,
The heavy veil concealed a father’s strategy.
The wedding tent was dark and his beloved,
Strangely silent.
Perhaps it is her modesty, he thought,
So much to learn about his lovely wife.
Yet his partner hid her face and said it was their custom.
And so he held her, loved her,
Her loving touch became the touch of Rachel,
But the voice was the voice of Leah.
More deception in a life of deception,
In a world where deceit meant living or dying.
Of having or not having.
It was fair. The world was putting things in order.
Jacob, who had deceived was now deceived.
Things were even, now
To all but Rachel,
Who fell to her knees,
And wept,
Outside her sister’s wedding tent.
The post Rachel appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
Note: The prophet Elijah has a long, mythic role. Hundreds of stories from all over the Jewish world tell of Elijah entering into the life of a person to make a small but nonetheless important role in that person’s life.
Note II: I wrote this piece long before the war that is upon us. It’s a snapshot of my experience of Israel, of one particular experience in Tel Aviv last February.
PC
Much of my life has been lived through Israel. It’s unfair to say in Israel, because the actual number of days I’ve spent there over the years don’t add up to all that much.
My first visit in early 1974, a post-college romp, took up maybe three months. I returned four years later for a full year as a rabbinical student. The only other time of some duration was a five-week stint in 1999. Otherwise, the many trips I took to the Jewish state — twenty-some and counting — were bits and pieces — conferences, vacations, and very brief visits for personal reasons. I’ve lost track of the exact number of times. But now that I have a daughter who’s an Israeli, I hope to make my way there at least annually.
I’ve lived through Israel, no doubt. I’ve watched Israel experience wars, bad politics, occasional good politics, economic growth, population growth, departing Gaza and southern Lebanon, the absorption of some 40,000 Ethiopians, absorption of a million Russians, the absorption of my younger daughter, the growth of Israel as a foodie capital, Israel seen as a curse, Israel seen as a blessing, Israel as the Holy Land, Israel the ambivalent conqueror, and lately, the Israel at war.
When I land at Ben Gurion, it’s always a place that’s familiar yet foreign. It’s not my country. I don’t have to live with Netanyahu except vicariously. My Hebrew is abysmal. My knowledge of its geography is embarrassing. Yet through this sense of not being entirely an owner, I have a continually shifting familiarity with the landscape that’s far more than a first-time tourist, but far less than a citizen completing even her first year as an immigrant.
This story concerns a lack of familiarity that’s not altogether total. You’ll see what I mean.
I was last there in February 2023, for a rabbinical conference, and remained another week to be with Talia, my citizen daughter. But this is not a story about the conference. This story really begins after the conference, when Talia and I were supposed to travel to an interesting village in the north of Israel that somehow inhabited by Alawaites, Lebanese, and Israelis in a village called Ghajar on the Israeli side of the border, though just barely. We’d rent a car, spend the day and see something new and different.
But Talia was to begin a new job the next day and felt reluctant to spend an exhausting day, and I agreed. I agreed partly because I was feeling tired. But we’d still have two days to travel.
I arrived at her apartment after the close of the conference where I was to spend a night or two before checking into an Airbnb, an agreement we had. I’d be on my own before we’d begin to get in each other’s way and on each other’s nerves. Because I was tired and had also begun to cough, Talia pulled out a home Covid test.
Positive.
We went immediately into hygiene mode. We separated, I slept on her couch and the next day moved to an Airbnb on Dizengoff Street, one of Tel Aviv’s most famous avenues. There I stayed for six days more or less in quarantine, leaving the apartment only to walk. Talia brought me groceries and visited me every night after work with her pooch, Lyla. We met outside— I sitting on a bench, the two of us chatting until we ran out of things to chat about. And so, it would have gone, except she came down with Covid herself, undoubtedly catching it from me. I am nothing if not a generous father.
So I quarantined in that cute and comfortable Airbnb over those days, occasionally perambulating up and down Dizengoff Street, an avenue filled with Tel Aviv life, coffee houses, restaurants, banks, shops, and plenty of faces to look at. Israel is a crazy quilt of faces and bodies that express a collective personality like you wouldn’t believe.
The quarantine experience wasn’t terrible. I had my computer with which to write and to watch endless videos. And lots of napping, as befits someone with Covid.
My story really begins here, at the end of the quarantine experience, around day six, when the articles told me I was no longer contagious. This was also the day before I was to return to the States. I needed my large suitcase which I had swapped with Talia for a smaller one. I caught a cab to her place, climbed the four flights of stairs (no elevator) to make the switch. Talia opened her door, and we said our socially distanced goodbyes. It was not the end game we’d hoped for, but there’s always next year.
About a block and a half from her place sits a pretty good felafel stand. Though my age should dictate that felafel and I should part company, I ordered one, and dined al fresco. I then ordered a cab and made my way back to the Airbnb on Dizengoff, which sits in the dark at the end of a long alleyway. Once I arrived, I set down the suitcase and reached into my pocket for the key, not finding it in one pocket, nor in another. I tried my two back pockets unlikely as it is that I would have put the key there, and then tried all four pockets a second and then a third time. I considered attempting a fourth time, but I realized I’d lost the key.
Gone.
What to do?
Like most Airbnbs, this one was not part of any kind of complex. I’d stayed in such places where the host owned an upstairs place and the rental was downstairs, making the owner easily available. This Airbnb was part of a business called Beach Apartments TLV; the owners were not immediately reachable.
So, I had me a dilemma, a problem, a conundrum. Why hadn’t I, for example, taken this lone key and maybe attached it to a ring of keys, or at least done something with it to enlarge its presence in my pocket to make losing it less likely?
But I hadn’t taken such wise council of my own personal wisdom and had lost it—perhaps in the back seat of a cab or at the felafel stand. Add to this my phone was down to under ten percent with no clear prospects for charging. I was about to lose contact with the world, locked out of my room in a foreign country.
A plan arose. A dumb plan, I admit, but only one I could think of. Call Talia, tell her I’m coming back to charge my phone at her place, and figure out my next step, whatever that might be. I didn’t mention that the two times I’d taken a cab that evening they had been inexplicably hard to get. The entire Israeli cab enterprise is like one big Uber system called Gett. One brings up the app on one’s phone which knows your location. You type in the desired destination, and a call goes out to a cab which normally comes quickly, picks you up, and delivers you to the right address. No money is exchanged; it’s all accomplished anonymously thanks to the brilliance of our digital age.
I called Talia with my plan. She told me, “There’s a Super Yuda right across the street. Go buy a charger, go to a coffeehouse, and charge your phone there.”
Super Yuda is a 24/7 convenience store chain chock full of stuff, including, one hoped, a charger for my iPhone. But I looked across the street and there was no Super Yuda as Talia had claimed. But a check with Google Maps revealed that a hundred or so meters down the road on the right one sat awaiting my business.
Now let’s be clear as to my mood at that moment. I am not of Litvak stock, able to withstand the crises of life without much emotion. At least on one side of my family, I come from the more emotional end of Ashkenazi Jewry, the Galitzianers, and at this point, the Galitzianer in me was more than a little stressed. I could feel bits of sweat flowing down my back. I was alone in a foreign country. No matter how more or less comfortable I felt in Israel, it’s not my country. Regardless that I have a daughter living in Tel Aviv, Tel Aviv’s not my city. And, oh yeah, though I had my wallet with my North Carolina driver’s license in it on my person, my passport was upstairs in my Airbnb on the same table as the spare key to the apartment. Thoughts of this ilk filled my head as I entered the Super Yuda on Dizengoff.
I dumbly pointed my phone to the fellow behind the counter, and I said something in English about buying a charger. But instead of selling me a charger, he took my phone, pulled a charger wire out of somewhere nearby, plugged my phone in, and returned to selling convenience store stuff.
I sat on a bench outside the store and pondered my next move. I realized I might need to rebook my ticket for the next day, Tuesday. How much is that going to cost? What if the plane two days hence is full? What if an aisle seat, a necessary condition for me wherever I fly, is unavailable? I’d need to book another night in the Airbnb. What if I couldn’t? What if it was already booked? Now keep in mind it’s Tel Aviv a Middle Eastern city on the Mediterranean. So, although it was early March, the weather was warm, and the hour was yet early, around 9:00 pm. My anxiety decreased slightly, though a workable solution on the horizon did not yet manifest itself.
The fellow from behind the counter came out with my phone and plugged it into a charger connected to his bicycle conveniently parked immediately to my left. At that point, it had charged up to around twenty percent. The danger of losing contact with the world had been reduced. My benefactor and I chatted for a moment, but he had to return to the counter.
I called Betsy, my wife, at our home in Greensboro, North Carolina. After telling her my tale of woe, she proceeded to castigate me for my innate lack of personal organization—this being precisely just what I needed to hear in my hour of desperation. I made the mistake of reminding her of times she’d lost her cell phone and the like.
We cooled down and twenty minutes later, began to problem-solve. Our first solution: not far down on Dizengoff there was a nice boutique hotel we’d stayed the previous year. I attempted to contact this hotel to see if a) they had a vacancy, and b) they’d give me a room without presenting a passport. Their automated answering system was so convoluted that I couldn’t get to a live voice with whom to consult. Instead, their system just kept routing me to the beginning of my options. Finally, I hung up.
I recalled that Talia had suggested I contact the Airbnb folks, which hadn’t occurred to me, and which turned out to be an easier task than I thought. In the email acknowledging my reservation was an Israeli phone number that led to a human person rather quickly who listened to my problem and attempted contacting the host. Those of you unfamiliar with the Airbnb system need to know that Airbnb will identify certain hosts as Superhosts, owners known to be easy to reach, and who put into their labors an extra dollop of TLC. Alas, this did not turn out to be immediately true of my Superhost. I then messaged the host several times, again without success.
During all this, the fellow from behind the counter came back. We spoke in Hebrew. I asked him his name. Amir. I told him my problem and just chatting with him had a calming effect on me. It’s a small problem, he said philosophically. Of course, I thought, it wasn’t his problem. He wasn’t expected on a United Airlines flight the following morning at 11:30 am. Nonetheless, it got me thinking how I wasn’t in a hospital or hadn’t been assaulted, nor had I experienced some other bad thing that might have left me in a worse state than I was in. He went back behind the counter, and I sat, periodically messaging the Superhost and the Airbnb folks.
This went on for perhaps two hours — all the while receiving concerned texts from Talia inquiring as to my situation, and Betsy doing the same. I still hadn’t much of a plan, but the evening was young, and comfortable, and there were people in my life who cared — including a perfect stranger.
Amir came outside and announced that his shift at the Super Yuda ended. He asked me if there was any other way he could be of help. Not thinking of anything he could do, I said “no” and thanked him profusely. My phone was now charged to around sixty-five percent, well out of the danger zone.
Minutes later after Amir departed, I received a message from Shai, my Superhost,who said that I always could have gotten hold of him by phone — but I had not seen a phone number in any of the contact info. After clarifying the problem, Shai said that he’d look to see if he had a spare key. This uncertainty didn’t do much to raise my confidence, but I am a man of faith. And after perhaps fifteen minutes, he texted to say that someone would be by with a key in about five minutes.
I rushed back to the Airbnb and within those five minutes, a skinny kid on a motorized scooter came along with a spare key and opened the door. He offered the key to me, but I assured him I had a spare of my own upstairs. Out of proper caution, he advised me to fetch the key and make certain it worked. It did. I asked him his name and he gave me an Arab name that I’m embarrassed to report I do not remember. As he scooted off, I said, “Shukran” and he turned and smiled at that tiny piece of Arabic. He was off and I was in.
There are several characters populating this story. Without Talia, the Super Yuda would have been unknown to me, and I would have had to rely on plan A, catching a cab, crashing at her place, getting to the Airbnb the next day, and leaving a day later. It would have worked, but uncomfortably, especially given that she had Covid. If I hadn’t been persistent in contacting my Superhost, I might have found my way over to the not-too-distant hotel on Dizengoff and crashed for the night without my passport and without a change of clothes. If it hadn’t been for the skinny Arab kid with the key who arrived on the scooter, my place would have remained locked at least until the next day.
To me, though, the real hero in my story is Amir, who silently took my phone, plugged it in, and then gave it a temporary home on his bike’s charger. Amir, who offered a bit of solace, and made two hours of my life bearable.
And that’s how it is when you encounter the Prophet Elijah. He comes into your life for a moment, makes it just a little better, then takes off on his bike to places unknown.
The post In Tel Aviv I Meet the Prophet Elijah appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
We are asked in Torah to go forth and sometimes we find ourselves stuck. It becomes difficult to move. We lose our footing because our hearts hurt. We may have a reflexive response and turn our heads behind us only to find salt and fire.
The events that have transpired in Israel and in the Jewish community since October 7 are horrific, not new, and are locked in the DNA of our Jewish consciousness.
The difference is that society is not moving fast enough in its awareness. On one hand we have the language of privilege, marginalization, and power dynamics. On the other hand the collective seems to fall back to its group of origin and in some instances cannot empathize with the Jewish stranger.
A few days prior to October 7, Congregation Kol Ami in Cherry Hill, NJ, did a presentation on Approaching a Theology of Loss. Rabbi Address and I facilitated a discussion on the different loss cycles in our lives. We had a robust conversation about it and Rabbi Address asked me to share it with Jewish Sacred Aging. I found myself without words. The present state of circumstances was yet another loss. My thoughts and reflections about the evening were not as pronounced as the immediate wound that I was experiencing. It was an added loss, feeling unsafe on my own loss line. It is through community, love, and self-care that I can express it through a different frame. As in Torah study we are each renewed each time we rewind the scroll.
Torah talks about blessings and curses. Can something that appears positive turn negative? And what about something that looks bad? Can that be a blessing in disguise? Do challenging circumstances help us grow? Do they present new opportunities? Do they move us? Do they help us let go? What happens if they don’t? These are the moments that invite us to explore our own theology of loss.
In Genesis we see examples of broken relationships. Some are reconciled and others are not able to be mended. It invites us to examine self-identity and discover who we truly are, the knowing of the authentic self. Often there are financial and social implications as well as considering what is best for the children. How do we split the flock and who goes North or South? Was this my choice and how do I come to terms with letting go of my dream?
Sometimes we are challenged with job loss. This can be our own decision or one that has been forced upon us. We may discover that what we do for a living has more than just financial implications. It may be where we find our social circle, self-identity, and self-worth. Changing occupations and/or retirement may be unsettling for some and for others it may be invigorating. Planning and exploring new opportunities may assist us in alleviating the anxiety of the unknown.
In hospice care patients experience a loss of their independence. They have received a terminal diagnosis and have elected to stop aggressive treatment in favor of comfort. Many share their physical limitations which include walking, seeing, hearing, speaking, and incontinence. Some report memory lapse and dementia and have an awareness that they are having difficulty retrieving thoughts and putting them into words. Living in a facility with caregivers may also be a difficult adjustment. Privacy, autonomy, being able or not able to eat certain foods can be challenging. Theological questions arise about life and death, family visits, and religious expression. Some find that the only thing that they can control is whether or not to stay in bed. This type of loss is not limited to the patient. It may also adversely affect the patient’s family and friends, especially when wrestling with the new normal. Sometimes just being present and being heard allows an opening for some blessings of joy in the midst of the sorrow.
The 23rd Psalm is the most requested Psalm by patients. Rabbi Harold S. Kushner in The Lord is my Shepherd, walks the reader through the different verses of the prose. What was striking for me was a new appreciation for the psalm and a new way of looking at it through the lens of the hero’s journey. It allows reflection and assessment of each transition revealing how blessings and curses may be an invitation to examine where we are. Are we stuck in the valley of the shadow of death and if so, is there comfort and encouragement available to us?
I believe that compassion and healing are the greatest elixirs when experiencing loss. Having a sense of gratitude and openness to joy in community allows healing to begin. Debbie Friedman’s, “Mi Shebeirach” is my favorite prayer and I find it to be powerful and comforting during challenging times. I want to thank Rabbi Address, Adult Education at Kol Ami, and all who participated in sharing their personal reflections during and after our presentation.
I welcome future discussions holding space for both joy and sorrow during difficult times.
May the source of strength who blessed the ones before us help us find the courage to make our lives a blessing.
And let us say Amen.
The post Approaching a Theology of Loss appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
New York filmmaker, animator, artist, classical guitarist, and teacher Hanan Harchol has released “Awe,” the latest in his animated series of educational films in the “Jewish Food for Thought” series.
“Opportunities to experience awe exist everywhere. Awe enriches our lives, creating openings for meaning, love, joy, wisdom, and connection to a mystery larger than ourselves,” says Harchol. “Too often, however, we don’t pay attention, and we miss these life-enriching opportunities. The animation examines the importance of awe and suggests ways to help us bring awareness to everyday wonders.”
You can watch the latest Hanan Harchol animation in the player below. You can get more information and subscribe for free to his animation series at https://www.hananharchol.com/.
Harchol was a guest on the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast in January 2023 to discuss his work.
The post New York Filmmaker Hanan Harchol releases ‘Awe,’ latest animated lesson on Jewish ‘Food for Thought’ appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Rabbi Mark Levin, Founding Rabbi and Rabbi Emeritus of Congregation Beth Torah in Overland Park, KS, kicks off a multipart discussion of the meaning of reflection in the month of Elul as we prepare for the High Holy Days. Other guests in coming weeks will also reflect on the holiest season of the Jewish calendar.
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions.
Listen to the Audio PodcastYou can listen to the audio podcast version in the player below, or subscribe to the podcast in one of the popular platforms by clicking one of the buttons below the player.
- Apple Podcasts
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- Amazon Music About the GuestRabbi Mark H. LevinRabbi Mark H. Levin is a native of Baltimore, Maryland. Graduated in 1971 from Boston University, magna cum laude with distinction in religion, Rabbi Levin received his Master of Arts in Hebrew letters from Hebrew Union College – Jewish Institute of Religion (HUC-JIR) in 1974, his Certificate in Jewish Communal Studies in 1974 (Los Angeles), and was ordained in 1976 (Cincinnati). Most recently, Rabbi Levin completed his Doctorate of Hebrew Letters through HUC-JIR in New York in May, 2001, and his honorary Doctor of Divinity in 2001 in Cincinnati. He has been the congregational Pulpit Rabbi for Congregation Beth Torah since its inception in 1988 up until his retirement from this position in June 2014. In July 2014 he accepted the position of Beth Torah’s Founding Rabbi. Rabbi Levin is the father of three children and grandfather of two grandchildren. He is married to the former Kacy Childs-Winston, the mother of Kyle and Seth Winston. Rabbi Levin serves on several local boards and writes religion columns for the Kansas City Star, and answers questions for the “Ask the Rabbi” service of the Union of Reform Judaism.
The post Seekers of Meaning 9/01/2023: Rabbi Mark Levin Reflects on the Month of Elul and Preparation for the High Holy Days appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
Clergy, chaplains, and spiritual leaders from all religious traditions are being called upon to intervene in complex life crises, especially those involving aging, serious illness, end-of-life care, and bereavement. Our New-York-State-approved Certificate Program at the Wurzweiler School of Social Work enables clergy to obtain strong grounding in elder care and serious illness, and equips them with the ability to understand the issues and concerns. These courses are convenient and flexible for both professionals and students, as all coursework is offered online.
This 6 Course, 18 Credit program includes:
- Basics of Counseling
- Philosophical Foundations of the Helping Professions
- Gerontology
- Palliative Care and Serious Illness
- Interfaith Perspectives on Aging
- Coping with Loss
UPCOMINGCOURSES:
Beginning October 22, 2023
- Social Gerontology (Aging)
- Philosophical Foundations of the Helping Professions
Students enrolled in the certificate have an opportunity to transfer 15 credits towards the 60 credits required for an MSW degree. Students who opt to continue into the MSW program will take the additional coursework and fieldwork to be eligible for licensure as a mental health professional.
We are pleased to offer reduced tuition scholarships for clergy, chaplains, and clergy-in-training/seminary students. Tuition is $810 per course for clergy and chaplains; $500 per course for students.
Virtual Open Houses
Monday, September 11, 2023, 6-7 p.m. EST
Monday, October 2, 2023, 6-7 p.m. EST
RSVP at YU.EDU/ClergyOpenHouse
To apply and for additional information: Contact Rabbi Liz Rolle at Liz.Rolle@yu.edu or Dr. Gary Stein at GLStein@yu.edu
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Rabbi/Chaplain Laurie Kurs ties this week's parsha, Ki Tavo, and its promise of inheritance of the land to the fight against antisemitism over the centuries, and the obligation for a new generation of Zionist young people to take up the fight. [Read more...]
The post Deuteronomy 26:1 “Ki Tavo, means “when you come.” appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
JSA contributor Larry Rosenberg suggests that you consider yourself as having a users' manual that needs to be updated as you age. [Read more...]
The post Your Senior Life Manual – After Age 60, It’s Wise to Revise appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Rabbi Sandy Akselrad, spiritual leader of Congregation Ner Tamid, Henderson, NV, discusses his new book, Love in the Time of Corona. [Read more...]
The post Seekers of Meaning 8/23/2023: Rabbi Sandy Akselrad discusses his book, “Love in the Time of Corona” appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
Rabbi Dr. Steven Moss writes about the concept of a merciful God. [Read more...]
The post The God of Mercy appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
Reb Carl Viniar writes about the choice God offers in Deuteronomy 30:19. [Read more...]
The post Seeing Things and Making Choices appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
In the wake of the devastating fires that ravaged Maui, Sandy Taradash compares Jewish and Hawaiian culture of caring and compassion. [Read more...]
The post Hula and Hora? Tzedaka and Aloha? appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
I rarely get up early enough to see the sunrise nowadays. But there was a time when I did. I loved the solitude of it. An old log cabin in the woods and a trail [Read more...]
The post Memories —The Surprise Gift of Old Age appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
On this week's episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Rabbi Address holds a panel discussion with several participants in the recent "Re-Charging Reform" conference held at the Stephen Wise Free Synagogue in New York, sponsored by the synagogue's senior rabbi, Rabbi Ammiel Hirsch. [Read more...]
The post Seekers of Meaning 8/18/2023: Panel discussion of “Re-Charging Reform” Conference appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
Rabbi/Chaplain Laurie Kurs writes of the pain of mourning the death of a grandchild. [Read more...]
The post Grandparent Kaddish appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Rabbi Marla Feldman discusses her new book, Biblical Women Speak: Hearing Their Voices through New and Ancient Midrash. [Read more...]
The post Seekers of Meaning 8/11/2023: Rabbi Marla Feldman, author of Biblical Women Speak appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
Cantor/Rabbi Rhoda Harrison writes about the complications of life, as reflected in the range of emotions we experience in a single time and space. [Read more...]
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Rabbi Address discusses the new book, The Year of Mourning: A Jewish Journey, with its editors, Rabbi Lisa Grant, Director of the New York Rabbinical Program and Eleanor Sinsheimer Distinguished Service Professor in Jewish Education Coordinator, Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion, and Cantor Lisa B. Segal, cantor of Kolot Chayeinu in Brooklyn, NY. [Read more...]
The post Seekers of Meaning 8/4/2023: Rabbi Lisa Grant and Cantor Lisa B. Segal, “The Year of Mourning” appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
JSA contributing writer Larry Rosenberg describes his experience becoming enmeshed with a health and wellness cult — and getting out. [Read more...]
The post Fulfilling Life’s Needs After Age 60: My Time With a Cult appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Robert Wolf and Dr. Amy Ehrlich discuss the book they recently edited, A Comprehensive Guide to Safety and Aging: Minimizing Risk, Maximizing Security [Read more...]
The post Seekers of Meaning 7/28/2023: Robert Wolf and Dr. Amy Ehrlich, editors of “A Comprehensive Guide to Safety and Aging” appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
Sandy Taradash writes about the life changes among friends discussed at a dinner party. [Read more...]
The post When the Going Gets Tough…A Dinner Party Discussion appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
Rabbi Dr. Steven Moss shares thoughts on how to make Tisha B'av again relevant to Jewish people. [Read more...]
The post The Lessons to Learn from Tisha B’Av appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
JSA contributing writer Rabbi Jack Paskoff discusses how the grieving process has changed, and how we can best honor the bereaved. [Read more...]
The post Grieving Alone appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, author Michael Doring Connelly, a 40-plus-year healthcare veteran and former CEO of Mercy Health, discusses his book, The Journey’s End: An Investigation into Death and Dying in Modern America. [Read more...]
The post Seekers of Meaning 7/21/2023: Michael Connelly, author of “The Journey’s End: An Investigation into Death and Dying in Modern America” appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
Rabbi Phil Cohen writes about his journey as a grandparent and as an itinerant rabbi. [Read more...]
The post Crumbling Bodies and Grandchildren appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Rabbi Sandra Cohen discusses the rabbinate, mental health, and spirituality. [Read more...]
The post Seekers of Meaning 7/14/2023: Rabbi Sandra Cohen on the rabbinate, mental health, and spirituality appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
As Rabbi Address continues his vacation, we present another guest d'var Torah, this week from Cantor/Rabbi Rhoda Harrison, Ph.D. [Read more...]
The post Marking our Journeys, Honoring our Age appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
I start most of my mornings moving straight from my bed, groggy and unwashed, to the living room. I love this room. It is light and airy and best of all has a beautiful view. [Read more...]
The post The Morning Lesson appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Henry and Marcia Blumberg discuss Henry’s memoir of their son’s suicide, Sean Left Quietly: A Father’s Memoir. [Read more...]
The post Seekers of Meaning 7/7/2023: Henry and Marcia Blumberg, discussing Henry’s book, “Sean Left Quietly,” a memoir of their son’s suicide appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
While Rabbi Address enjoys a well-earned vacation, the weekly d'var Torah is being provided by some of our regular JewishSacredAging.com contributors. This week, the d'var on Parsha Pinchas is by Rabbinic Pastor Reb Carl Viniar. [Read more...]
The post Guest D’var Torah: Pinchas, Numbers 25:10-30:1 appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Rabbi Address chats with Chelsea Duckers, a care coordinator and end-of-life doula at Rothkoff Law, a Cherry Hill-based elder law firm. [Read more...]
The post Seekers of Meaning 6/30/2023: Chelsea Duckers, End of Life Doula and Care Coordinator, Rothkoff Law appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
A difficult prayer for a difficult moment. In classic Jewish tradition, this prayer includes a request for forgiveness from the one who is near death by those who made the decision to remove life support. It is brief, by design, so as not to prolong the moment for anyone. [Read more...]
The post Removing Life Support: A prayer from Alden Solovy appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
Rabbi Mark Levin writes about how religion seeks to answer existential questions of life and death. [Read more...]
The post A Religion that Gives Meaning to Life and Death appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
What do we do with anger? How do we manage that emotion that can cause so much pain to our self and others? How often have we said or done something in the heat of [Read more...]
The post Chukat-Balak (Numbers 19:1-25:9) I Am So Angry That I Could………..! appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Rabbi Andrue Kahn, associate rabbi at Congregation Emanu-El, New York, discusses the book, The Sacred Earth: Jewish Perspectives on Our Planet, which he edited. [Read more...]
The post Seekers of Meaning 6/23/2023: Rabbi Andrue Kahn, editor of “The Sacred Earth: Jewish Perspectives on Our Planet” appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
In this meaningful new course with Rabbi Richard Address, Founder and Director of Jewish Sacred Aging, we will examine a series of Judaism’s most fundamental teachings as we prepare for the High Holidays and the year ahead. [Read more...]
The post A Spiritual Pathway for Aging into the Year Ahead: Melton School Program with Rabbi Address appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
Rabbi Zoe Klein, senior rabbi of Temple Isaiah, Los Angeles, CA, discusses her book, Candle, Feather, Wooden Spoons, a collection of original Jewish short stories. [Read more...]
The post Seekers of Meaning 6/16/2023: Rabbi Zoe Klein, author of “Candle, Feather, Wooden Spoon” appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
Sandy Taradash links the traumatic experiences of generations with the dreams and fears of those who come after. [Read more...]
The post Our Family Tree of Life: Transgenerational Trauma and Legacy appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
Carole Leskin writes of experiences that show kindness is alive — and thriving. [Read more...]
The post Reports of its demise are greatly exaggerated – Kindness appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
Berit Lewis discusses her book, "Ageing Upwards: A mindfulness-based framework for the longevity revolution," Lewis is owner of Thriving Life, a leading mindfulness provider based in the Netherlands. Her firm offers customized mindfulness based training programs with the intention to enhance individuals and organizations ability to thrive and perform. [Read more...]
The post Seekers of Meaning 6/9/2023: Berit Lewis, author of “Ageing Upwards: A mindfulness-based framework for the longevity revolution” appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
JSA Contributing Writer Larry Rosenberg describes his approach to "Adventurous Aging." [Read more...]
The post My Adventurous Aging Story appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
For Chaplain Barry Pitegoff, BCC, Parsha Naso is about giving, receiving, and sensing dignity. [Read more...]
The post Naso: “It’s about dignity” appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
This week, Rabbi Address chats with Cantor Rhoda Harrison and Rabbi Barbara Symons about the new CCAR Press book, Prophetic Voices: Renewing and Reimagining Haftarah. Rabbi Symons is editor of the book and Cantor Harrison is a contributor to the collection of essays. [Read more...]
The post Seekers of Meaning 6/2/2023: Rabbi Barbara Symons, Cantor Rhoda Harrison, new book on Haftarah, “Prophetic Voices” appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, retired Cherry Hill, NJ, physician Ed Skobac discusses his project creating a documentary about his father’s experience surviving the Holocaust.
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions.
Listen to the Audio PodcastYou can listen to the audio podcast version in the player below, or subscribe to the podcast in one of the popular platforms by clicking one of the buttons below the player.
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- Stitcher About the GuestEd Skobac, MDEd Skobac is the second born son of Holocaust survivor William Skobac. He grew up in The Bronx, New York.
Ed received a BA in biology from Washington University in St. Louis, MO, in 1976 and an MD from Rutgers Medical School in 1980. He completed a residency in Internal Medicine in 1983 at the University of California Davis.
Ed was a practicing internist in southern NJ from 1983 to 2022 and was on the faculty as an assistant professor of Medicine at Rowan University School of Osteopathic Medicine from 1997 to 2022.
Ed presently is a happily retired physician and proud father of two married sons, and grandfather to one granddaughter. He lives in Cherry Hill, NJ.
The post Seekers of Meaning 5/26/2023: Ed Skobac discusses documenting his father’s Holocaust experiences appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
I am David Balto a Washington, D.C. Chaplain in a hospital, prison, and a hospice. It is an incredible blessing to do this work as I try to be a comforting presence in places of suffering.
I want to share a teaching for Yizkor, our time to remember our beloveds, with you that helps guide me in my work and my own search for meaning.
The Zohar teaches that when a soul departs from the body for the first 30 days it is in a liminal state, neither in this world or the next. During that time a soul garment is woven for the soul. The garment is woven of the fabric of the acts of the departed and these acts become a radiant garment for the soul. The soul garment is a replica of the person’s character while in the world. When the soul is ready to ascend to the lower heaven a proclamation resounds saying “this garment belongs to this person.”
The Zohar explains:
“A person’s good deeds done in this world draw from the celestial resplendency of light a garment with which he may be invested when he appears before the Blessed Holy One. In that raiment he is in a state of bliss and feasts his eyes on the spirit of the Holy One.”
I have always loved this notion.
Sometimes for grieving families I will suggest they reflect upon their beloved and weave his or her soul garment. In this way to be reminded of the essential character of their beloved and the connection that is always present. It’s a beautiful notion to gather, reflect, repair and begin the path of grieving.
For one person the community actually undertook a month of good deeds to weave the person’s soul garment.
Weaving is so essential and it engages our whole being. And Gd is the ultimate weaver.
Psalm 139 says:
“For you created my inmost being; you wove me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.”
In the hospital, when I bless the babies in the NICU, babies so preciously small, some as small as 20 ounces, striving with every element of being for existence, my heart is touched thinking of Gd the weaver and I thank Gd for how wonderously they are created.
And on Yom Kippur we pray:
“Behold as the cloth in the hand of the weaver,
who drapes or twists it at will,
so are we in Your hand, O gracious God;
look to the covenant and overlook our sin.”
Weaving. What a blessing to weave.
The immediate time after death of a loved one is a time of keriah, tearing and devastation. After all we tear our garment (over our heart if it our parent) to remind ourselves of the overwhelming loss, how we feel torn from the world, how our beloved is torn away. We stare at the tear, we feel the rip as we are ripped apart.
We fear the tear will consume us or we will be lost within the tear.
What a lovely notion that at that time of devastation we are given the spiritual task of binding, repairing and creating. We gather the fabric of our beloved, the deeds, the hopes and beliefs, the aspirations, holding these fabrics, reflecting upon them, embracing them. Then designing the garment and mending, tying together the pieces, and weaving. How lovely to know you will create and hold the fabric of a person’s life in your heart.
Imagine. Imagine your creation for your beloved. Imagine for one of the beloveds you will pray for at the time of Yizkor. Perhaps a piece of white linen to reflect their modesty, or lace to reflect their love for the refined or soft velvet to reflect their sense of order, or a piece of worn leather to reflect their determination, or faded denim to reflect their easy going nature, or flannel to reflect their warmth or the comfort of their presence. Some pieces we may pause over – perhaps some burlap to reflect their contrary nature, or wool to remind you of the friction. Create the design. Take the pieces, weave them together carefully through the warp, tie them together, caress the fabric.
And as you weave perhaps it is sad to see the fabrics that are not there, the pain or loss that occurred, the disappointment. The incompletion, the acts or failure to act that caused pain. The soul garment is not perfect. Nor was our beloved. After all, Gd did not make us perfect, that job is reserved for Angels.
I invite you to take the opportunity to reflect upon the soul garments for the souls you will pray for in the next few moments. Summon the vision inside your heart. Look at their soul garment. Look at the fabrics that are woven. Visit them, envision them, touch them. Open your heart. Look at those attributes they were blessed with or challenged by. Look at the fabric of their garment, their intentions, wishes, actions, disappointments, reflections and teachings. The feelings, joy, pride, devotion, anger, sadness, fear.
Look at those fabrics, piece by piece. Perhaps they rekindle a deep warmth inside you, of your being cherished, of their looking into your eyes with boundless love. Perhaps they remind you of a touch, an embrace as if their garment embraces you now. Perhaps they remind you of words of pride and deep connection. Perhaps you just sit back and appreciate how special your beloved was — I am proud of you, you were so special — how their memory and the garment still nourishes you, and how much you miss them, how you wish your own garment may have some of the same vitality.
But look again, fabric changes. Remember heaven is not like our earthly existence – the afterlife is a world of truth, it is a world of judgment. Perhaps in the world of truth what looked like strong or vibrant fabric has now faded. Or you notice the holes or gaps that always existed, but you missed. Or the frayed incomplete edges that may reflect pain or disappointment. Or when you see gaps or tears you may feel diminished, frustrated, burdened. Perhaps the fabric seemed damaged or infected (we learn about dealing with a woven garment with tzaarat – an infection — in parsha Tazria and how we preserve the garment). Or the weaving is simply incomplete.
And maybe now on reflection you see beauty you missed. Your sadness.
I want to invite you to revisit the soul garments of the people who are in your heart during Yizkor. And perhaps engage in mending the soul garment, of renewing it.
And I want to suggest four guideposts to assist your journey, of seeing your beloved with fresh eyes.
First, view with curiosity. Look upon your beloved’s garment and ask what was this quality, what is this fabric? Where did it come from? If you see parts that are missing, or frayed, be willing to explore the absence and try to understand. Your beloved and their lives always have something to teach you. Be open to inquiry and learning.
Second, view with compassion. Compassion is the core of our lives. The Dalai Lama said “Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them, humanity cannot survive.” We are to walk in Gd’s ways and the first attribute we recognize is Gd’s compassion. The Talmud teaches judge everyone for the good. As we grow older and face many of the challenges faced by our beloved, challenges where perhaps they missed the mark, we can understand their actions or failings with greater compassion.
Compassion keeps the connection vibrant. Compassion is the path to healing.
Third, view with gratitude. In one way or another each one of our beloveds are our teachers, have contributed to our lives, made us the persons we are. Maybe there are attributes you try to keep. Maybe there are other qualities you reject. In all ways, however, the example of their lives guide us.
Finally, view with tears. Tears. Salt water. On Pesach we tasted the salt water when we dipped the karpas. Our collective tears. And for your beloved maybe the tears seem so far away, locked deep inside. Be open to those tears, especially the unexpressed ones.
And look at the soul garment again. Maybe now you see new fabric. Maybe now fabric that seemed incomplete now seems to be able to stretch. Maybe now you see new fabrics that you missed. Maybe you can stretch the fabric, tie it together, make it stronger, and bring new completion, new wholeness. And maybe you see a vibrancy your eyes and heart could not absorb before.
Or maybe it enables you to say the frayed fabric, the gaps, the pain, the disappointment is ok, I can better understand you. I can forgive. We can heal.
No one is perfect.
This is my journey. My father, Yitzchak ben Tzvi Hersch v Taivel, of blessed memory, and I unfortunately were not blessed with a close relationship. Whether it was his alcoholism, my inability to forgive, family battles, my insecurity and fear, one never truly knows. But we were simply not close.
But things can change. A Hasidic master once explained that after death souls can become closer “because now there are no barriers.”
Perhaps.
As I examine my father’s soul garment, I recognize the parts of my own soul garment that are his blessing. As a chaplain there are many qualities his example, his soul garment, teach me:
- the ability to see beyond barriers and create the possible,
- the passion for being able to help people feel Gd’s presence,
- an ability to be fully present in the place of suffering, and
- trust in my intuition and know it is a gift from Gd.
And the vital lesson of his later years — striving in the words of Psalm 90 to “teach me to make each day count so that I may attain a heart of wisdom.”
So when you think of creating your own soul garment look at that basket of fabric next to you, the fabric of your character. Some from the beloved you pray for, some of your own creation.
Their soul garment will guide you.
A suggestion. As you view your beloved’s soul garment, tell their story. Tell their story, not just for them or for yourself, but also for those in your life who are your future.
Telling the story of your beloved with not only strengthen and elevate their spirit in heaven, it will strengthen the spirit of those who hear the story.
I have an interesting fact to share. They have done studies of families that suffered losses from 911 and families that suffered losses from the pandemic. And you know what they found? What is the source of strength – the ability to be present with the pain, go through the pain and be resilient? It is knowing your family story. The ability to share the family story, to create a family narrative is critical to helping people have a sense that they can deal with challenges, even the most painful suffering. And the narrative should not just be the successes, but all the challenges, failures, upsets, and disappointments, the tears, the stains, the patches, the holes. It is just simply a way to understand what it means to be fully human.
Curiosity, compassion, gratitude tears.
About a month ago we observed Yom Hashoah the day to remember the 6 million. I want to close with a poem about memory that my wife Naomi reminded me of — Birdsong, by a child in the Terezin Concentration Camp in I Never Saw Another Butterfly (a collection of children’s poetry and drawings from the camp):
Birdsong
He doesn’t know the world at all
Who stays in his nest and doesn’t go out
He doesn’t know what birds know best
Nor what I want to sing about
That world is full of loveliness.
When dewdrops sparkle in the grass
And earth’s aflood with morning light
A blackbird sings upon a bush
To greet the dawning after night.
Then I know how fine it is to live.
Hey, try to open your heart
To beauty; go to the woods some day
And weave a wreath of memory there.
And if the tears obscure your way
You’ll know how wonderful it is to be alive.
You’ll know how wonderful it is to be alive.
Weave a wreath of memory. The treasures of our soul garments, our beloveds and our own, always being created. Always being renewed. We are told in Exodus that Gd filled those who would do the weaving for the Mizbeach (the sanctuary) with a “wise heart.” May we all be blessed with a wise heart, an open, loving, curious and forgiving heart as we remember our beloveds.
May it be so.
The post Dvar Torah, Shavuot Yizkor 5783 appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
In my musical show, based on my long life of adventurous living and sponge-like learning, I declare,
“The best way to grow older is to grow younger!”
Most of the older audience smile or laugh. I was born slightly before the Baby Boomer Generation (1946-64). Since age 60 (life’s final Act 3), I’m happy I’ve lived life enthusiastically, cultivated curiosity and self-knowing, expressed creativity actively, and developed a youthfully dynamic mindset and lifestyle.
My two-decades as a senior have been characterized by high energy and happiness, which has contributed to my youthful spirit and appearance.The title of this article was inspired by a younger European friend’s quip,
“Hey, Larry, you’re the youngest person in the room!”
Thanks, bro, but actually I’m often among the oldest present. It also helps me that I’m doing wonderfully with what I understand to be aging’s key criteria: Wellness, passion, purpose, relationships, fulfillment and peace.
I prefer to view old age as an opportunity to feel in the prime of life. This contrasts to depicting it as the sunset of life; when decline and distress, limits and loss make people think it’s worthy of a Shakespeare tragedy. Most of us are programmed by our culture, the media, and the old people we know or simply observe. Too many react to the sad stereotypes of high-age numbers, rather than recognize how capable, creative and conscious many seniors are.
This article tells my story of crossing the 60-year threshold into old age, my shock at immediately facing health challenges, and what I’ve learned over the past two decades about creating a growing-younger quality of life.
The “I’m Suddenly Old” Meltdown
For most of their lives, my parents looked and acted younger than their chronological age. And, I inherited their good genes. But soon after I turned 60 years, I felt I was rapidly aging – with my physical ailments, frequent fatigue, shaky self-identity, and dark thoughts taking their toll on my holistic health and lifeforce.
In this depleted state, I considered two different aging scenarios for my future:
- A. What I might expect – a miserable life, given the prevailing image of old age as a downhill slide.
- B. What I might intend – aging with ample wellness and youthful vigor, thus defying the stereotype and enjoying an astounding life.
At the time of this health meltdown, my physician couldn’t identify my illnesses’ causes, especially my problematic digestion. Sounding unconcerned about my symptoms, he looked me in the eyes and said,
“Oh, this is what comes with old age; welcome to the club!”
Yes, I might now be old in years, but in my mind and zest for living, I saw myself as still vibrant and youthful.
Also, from decades before, I recalled friends 60+ telling me they themselves or people they knew had reached their 60th year and afterwards came down with physical or mental troubles, and started to feel and act like older people! Well, here I was at 60 getting my parents’ health problems!
During the three months after my physician’s comment, I went from one medical specialist and health practitioner to another. I tried both the Western medical and Eastern healing communities. But my unpleasant symptoms persisted.
Then, I found the studio of an Asian holistic healer, near my home in a Washington, DC suburb. After giving me an exam of yoga poses, what she told me made a lot of sense,
“Larry, a lifetime of you poorly coping with stress has worn out parts of your body, and is disturbing your emotions.”
Then, the healer said my condition could be reversed – if I embraced yoga, meditation, energy-body healing, and Taoist spiritual studies. All of which her studio offered. I was eager to regain sound health, and recharge energetically youthfulness. So, I signed up. After a few months, I was healthy again!
Since then (at 60) and now (at 80), my state of wellness has been robust. (Except for a six-month episode with cancer at age 77; now all gone.) Today, I can assert with confidence,
“I’ve never felt better in my life…or about my life!”
For people who guess my age these days, they usually peg me at five to 20 years younger than I am. And more important, my current medical metrics confirm I’m in far better shape than the old-at-80 stereotypes and many Baby Boomers!
How I Rejuvenated My Life
In my senior journey of the past 20 years, I’ve developed seven strategies that help me optimize my holistic wellness, and maintain a state of rejuvenation:
- Releasing beliefs no longer serving me. In my childhood, I didn’t have a choice. I simply did what my family, peers, religion (Judaism), schools and the media said I should think, feel and behave. For a long time, I did my best.
But, in my 30s, I sensed more and more that other people’s rules for me were not right for me. Sticking to their rules failed to bring me happiness and peace of mind. Instead, they triggered fear, hurt, anger, guilt and shame. Realizing I was unable to meet their expectations, I initially concluded something must be wrong with me. So, with low self-esteem and self-worth, I faked emotional maturity. I nervously entered rooms, loused up relationships, and silently agonized inside.
When eventually I increased my emotional awareness, with a bit of spiritual connection and some of my Jewish heritage’s wisdom, I saw myself more clearly. I realized that my negative childhood beliefs were part of me, but not essentially me.
Eventually, I learned how to release my negative and limiting parts. I’ve benefited from this psycho-spiritual practice for self-liberation:
- I acknowledge and feel my negative-charged emotion that arises
- I think how it was installed in my past, and does not define me today
- I see what has come up as simply a thought, feeling or habit – not basically me
- I use my power to let it go from my holistic beingness.
A single release and replacement session may be enough. But for entrenched and recurring self-negatives, repeating this process is necessary.
- Immersing myself in a spiritual context. As unconscious negative emotions are released, space opens up for expanding spiritual awareness, connection and energy. Higher consciousness has enhanced the full spectrum of my physical, mental and emotional system. We can get wiser and ageless simultaneously!
This is how I infused myself with greater spiritual understanding:
- Started with readings and lectures by living and ascended masters – from the West (stages of development) and East (states of being).
- Considered diving deep into a single religion, Judaism, the one of my childhood. But, intrigued by indigenous and Eastern spirituality, I embraced the shared core of several ancient and contemporary spiritual traditions, or Universal Spirituality.
- Found people with whom to discuss a range of spiritual principles, and who desire to support each other in practicing them.
- Set up daily rituals to raise my spiritual awareness – such as meditation, prayer, affirmations, and inspirational readings, music and videos.
- Learned the value of often expressing gratitude, compassion and forgiveness.
- Articulated intentions for strengthening and expressing my spiritual insights.
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Distanced myself from negative people and situations.
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Following healthy and creative eating habits. Our overall health reflects how well or poorly we eat. It’s sound advice to feed the body good nutrition, keep its energy flowing, and avoid harmful foods and practices that erode health and invite in disease.
It’s easy to say listen to your body, but it takes a lot of sensitivity to notice the causes and effects of food and health, and eat to minimize damage and maximize benefits. I’ve been finding what works for me: Foods that are natural, organic, GMO-free, no sugar and salt, pasture raised, farm fresh, in season and locally grown.
As we age, some foods we enjoyed in our younger decades may no longer be appropriate. Giving them up may feel like a sacrifice or penalty. With each of my senior illnesses, I’ve chosen to switch to healthier foods – because I want to prevent new diseases, and feel great on the day I die. And, as I drop certain foods from my diet, I make greater effort to practice creative cooking.
I’ve evolved a health and invigorating eating pattern by:
- Giving up or minimizing very much unhealthy foods – such as those with sugar, sugar substitutes, salt, deep fried oil, animal fat, dairy products, and artificial ingredients.
- Going for healthier ingredients that are nutritious, delicious, raw, colorful, in variety, international, exciting and comforting.
- Relying mainly on a plant-based diet, such as vegetables from land and sea, fruits, whole grains, nuts and seeds, herbs and spices, coconut products, eggs, dark chocolate, and green and herbal teas.
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Enjoying a variety of ethnic foods to broaden my repertoire and stimulate my joy of eating healthily.
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Soaking up Nature’s healing energy. One definition of stress is the absence of Nature. For the past 20 years, I’ve lived near Nature – places where I could relax, heal, revitalize and inspire my body, mind and spirit. I went into Nature to enjoy its forests, mountains, meadows, rock formations, bodies of water, spring flowers, fall foliage, and weather-performing skies. And plenty of sunshine.
Being in Nature, we can benefit the body’s health and energy, peace of mind, and inspiration from its beauty and awe. Here’s how I’ve reveled in Nature by accessing its healing and elevating power:
- Going alone or with family and friends
- Breathing the pure air slowly and deeply
- Exercising by tapping the body; and stretching, twisting and shaking the limbs
- Choosing to walk, hike, jog, bike and climb
- Riding on a body of water, or swimming in it
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Gazing and reflecting on the landscape, plant life, and wild animals.
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Launching an initiative inspired by my life’s gift. For most seniors, life has included two mature stages: Activity 1/Primary Career and Activity 2/Retirement. Some people lengthen the Primary Career, full time or part time, because they love their work or need the income. Others enjoy the Retirement that frees them from the routine and rigors of work, and enables them to relish entertaining, uplifting and expanding experiences.
Then there’re other people, including me, who realize: A Primary Career no longer suits us, and Retirement fails to satisfy and stimulate us. Thus, we may desire to transform and rejuvenate our life with Activity 3/Legacy Contribution.
After I retired in Sedona, Arizona, I took advantage of this small city’s unique mix of natural beauty (red rocks and high-desert landscape) and nurturing communities (visual and performing arts, healing and spiritual providers, and tourism and business). I became immersed in hiking, photography, personal development, community events, political activities, gardening and singing lessons.
After three years of singing to my friends, I had an epiphany about my life’s gift – which is a talent and mission beyond my biography’s skills, unique to my inner nature, and deeply and divinely inspired. I recognized my Activity 3 as Edutainment – which combines two of my passionate lifelong themes:
Wisdom Education and Creative Entertainment.
This clarified my new life mission: Helping all people, especially my age 60+ generation, to heal, grow and share.
Identifying myself as an Edutainer led to my founding The Larry Show enterprise (www.TheLarryShow.com). I created four one-person, musical-and-inspirational shows – based on my provocative life journey and valuable lessons learned. In the past eight years, I’ve performed shows in America and abroad, 50 times.
While entertaining audiences, I’ve become a role model for discovering one’s life gift, reinventing one’s life endeavors, and demonstrating it’s never too lateto express one’s authentic self and pursue one’s life mission.
To people still listening for their calling for an Activity 3 focus, answering these questions may be useful:
- Who do I want to become as I age?
- What is my unfulfilled life vision?
- Which of my talents and dreams do I long to explore and fulfill?
- Which groups and causes do I want to serve?
- Which individuals and groups do I want to collaborate with?
- How can I improve my life – by learning, growing, socializing and contributing?
Your answers may uncover your life’s gift, mission and Activity 3. And then, you can soar and thrive with youthfulness and vitality.
- Hanging out with older and younger people. There’s an expression I like,
“If you want to master a game, play with people better than you.”
Ah, but in our senior life, better at what? It could mean intellectual ability, creative expression, physical health, sports or hobby performance, emotional maturity, social relating, or spiritual realization. Most of the people who have these higher attainments are older individuals. Ideally, your life’s gift will connect you with those who have achieved higher levels of consciousness and wisdom, from whom you can learn how to learnabout living an enriched and amazing life.
The other valuable group of people for seniors to connect with are younger generations. When I find myself the oldest person in the room, it tells me I’m doing something right about being open, receptive and young in spirit. And I find younger people are receptive to engage in a substantive conversation with a person like me who is several decades older than they. I’m eager to mentor them, as they will be our future leaders; and learn from them how to understand and cope with our fast-changing world, especially the technology area.
I believe it’s the responsibility of conscious seniors to mentor, coach and teach younger people. We were educated informally, so now it’s our turn to be sharing what we’ve learned. The world needs sane and sustainable strategies that assure our civilization and specie a positive future. To achieve real progress with the huge issues facing Humanity and the Earth, the synergy of older and younger people working together is imperative.
- Letting my inner child energize my life*. With my Activity 3/Legacy contribution being edutainment, a key step in doing this has been to get in touch with my inner child’s energy. So, the child-me can feel, play and heal the senior-me*** more authentically and deeply. Rejuvenation at an older age requires the inner child’s energy, freedom and imagination.
To let your inner child run free and energize your being takes inner work to have a heartful conversation between the senior and inner child. The senior must convey that the inner child is now safe, and the you the adult will now take care of them. In that way, the inner child can be creative and joyful, and infuse your authentic self with more exuberance.
We have to shake off the layers of old-person thinking and habits, and feel again the flexibility and delight of being young in spirit. Youthful is not childlike, because in this context we seniors still possess the maturity and wisdom of a fully lived life.
How I’ve gotten to know and enjoy my inner child is by:
- Healing with love and joy my emotional wounds
- Observing and playing with fun-loving children around me
- Engaging in activities I remember as being fun
- Figuring out how I can think young (imagination) and behave young (playfulness)
- Hanging out with people of all ages, who are feeling and celebrating their inner child.
Final Message
For your 60+ life, how do you want to live? My choice has been to rejuvenate, revitalize and renew my senior life – by becoming younger as I grow older.
Since turning 60, I’ve thrived by creating my life as a work of art. To own it and communicate it to other seniors and their loved ones, I named it, Adventurous Aging. This way of life involves becoming awake, aware and alive; valuing the old and embracing the new; taking risks with promising adventures; finding inner peace; and living a well, good and long life.
I enjoy sharing my Adventurous Aging holistic wellbeing system with other seniors – via coaching, workshops, writing and speaking. I invite them to develop and enhance their:
- Mindscape – with added positive and inspiring beliefs
- Philosophy – love and joy, infused by higher consciousness
- Strategy – growth goals, potential, opportunities and actions.
In this way, the over-60 crowd can get in touch with their extraordinary elder’s inner power resources – based on their life experience, recognized wisdom, intuitive knowing, and unleashed superpowers (two of mine are singing spontaneously created songs and cooking elegant foods based on Japanese philosophy). In practicing Adventurous Aging, our lifeforce powers up, and youthful energy fuels our wellness and longevity.
For a fuller description of Adventurous Aging, see https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100082105301582; to discuss how Larry’s coaching can benefit you, contact him at larryros@gmail.com or Whatsapp.com/1-928-202-0010.
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On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Rabbi Dr. Danny Schiff discusses his new book, Judaism in a Digital Age: An Ancient Tradition Confronts a Transformative Era.
What is the next chapter in Judaism’s story, the next step in its journey?
The dramatic changes of recent decades invite us to explore what role Judaism is to play in this new era. As the digital future becomes the present, Danny Schiff makes the case that the period known as “modernity” has come to an end.
Noting the declining strength of Conservative and Reform Judaism, the largest US Jewish movements of modernity, he argues for new iterations of Judaism to arise in response to the myriad of weighty questions that now confront us about what it means to be human.
Here is an account of the digital age through a Jewish lens, in which Schiff examines Jewish teachings and traditions, exploring what moral insight they might have to offer in this period of great flux. He marshals the thought of well-known futurists such as Ray Kurzweil and Yuval Noah Harari to forecast the exponentially larger shifts in the human condition that lie ahead, and proposes that a countercultural Judaism could have renewed relevance in addressing some of the pressing issues that confront humanity in the twenty-first century.
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions.
Listen to the Audio PodcastYou can listen to the audio podcast version in the player below, or subscribe to the podcast in one of the popular platforms by clicking one of the buttons below the player.
- Apple Podcasts
- Google Podcasts
- Spotify
- Podchaser
- Stitcher About the GuestRabbi Dr. Danny SchiffRabbi Dr. Danny Schiff is the Foundation Scholar at the Jewish Federation of Greater Pittsburgh and the founder and president of MOJI, the Museum of Jewish Ideas. He is a noted teacher and researcher in Jewish ethics.
Born in Sydney, Australia, Rabbi Dr. Schiff grew up in Melbourne. He graduated with a B.A. from the University of Melbourne. Rabbi Dr. Schiff received ordination, as well as his Master of Arts in Hebrew Letters degree, from the Hebrew Union College – Jewish Institute of Religion (H.U.C. – J.I.R.). He also received his Doctor of Hebrew Letters degree, as well as an honorary Doctor of Divinity degree, from H.U.C. – J.I.R. Additionally, Rabbi Dr. Schiff earned an M.A. in Museum Studies from Johns Hopkins University in Baltimore.Rabbi Dr. Schiff previously served as the Community Scholar for the Agency for Jewish Learning in Pittsburgh, as rabbi of B’nai Israel in White Oak, Pennsylvania, and as rabbi at Temple Beth Israel in Melbourne, Australia. He is the author of Abortion in Judaism, published by Cambridge University Press. He has written a substantial number of articles, particularly in the field of Jewish law and ethics. Additionally, he is a former Board member of the City of Pittsburgh Ethics Board and of the Society of Jewish Ethics.
Rabbi Dr. Schiff is married to Anne Schiff. They have a son, David, and a daughter, Adina.
The post Seekers of Meaning 5/19/2023: Rabbi Danny Schiff, author of “Judaism in a Digital Age” appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
Rabbi Address was a guest recently on the Bereaved But Still Me podcast hosted by Michael Liben, who appeared on the February 17, 2023 episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast.
You can listen to this conversation in the player below.
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On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, information technology executive Scott Kushner describes his experience embracing prayer and ritual as part of a mental health recovery exercise.
Earlier this year, Kushner wrote for Jewish Sacred Aging on his experience with mental health issues and how his embrace of spirituality helped in his recovery.
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions.
Listen to the Audio PodcastYou can listen to the audio podcast version in the player below, or subscribe to the podcast in one of the popular platforms by clicking one of the buttons below the player.
- Apple Podcasts
- Google Podcasts
- Spotify
- Podchaser
- Stitcher About the GuestScott KushnerScott Kushner began reevaluating his core beliefs about 15 years ago, in the interest of acquiring greater joy and meaning in his life. During this time, he’s studied regularly with several different Kabbalah groups here in America and in Israel. His most significant study has been with Chassidic groups, and has included weekly study, as well as participating in about forty workshops.
Over the years, Scott has given many public and organizational talks to Jewish, Christian, heterogeneous and secular work-related groups. His talks tend to focus on the emotional value of traditional beliefs and how to integrate them into our daily lives.
Scott is an IT and Innovation Executive, typically working with mid-size software companies. Formally, his background is in engineering, IT, and finance. He credits his spirituality with greatly enhancing his creativity and leadership skills at work, where he gives regular talks on innovation, collaboration, relationship, and work purpose. Scott and his family live in Arden, DE.
The post Seekers of Meaning 5/12/2023: Scott Kushner on Prayer and Ritual as Aids to Mental Health appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
At age 77, the surgeon announced I had colon cancer; and I was shocked and devastated. While I had health crises before, this one loomed larger: I was confronting life or death. Being Jewish, I immediately said out loud a prayer in Hebrew.
But in less than a day, my panic subsided – a big benefit of decades of mental/emotional healing and consciousness expansion. With surging resilience and optimism, I focused on how I could overcome my cancer, regain my condition of holistic wellness, and resume my adventurous senior life.
Early in my cancer treatment process – which took six months and felt like a full-time job – I recognized I could tap into three life-affirming inner power resources to understand, navigate and resolve this mega-crisis. These consisted of my ability and resolve to be Constructive, Creative and Conscious, or the 3Cs – in thought, words and actions.
These 3C guidelines (or as I now see them, lifelines) would prove significant in my coping with cancer,and getting back to an even more inspired and fulfilling life than before. I realized each of the 3Cs – and more so when combined to generate a synergy effect – benefited me by helping to:
- Dissipate my recurring stress and tension
- Search for a variety of relevant information
- Navigate the complex cancer-medical system
- Value complementary modalities and providers
- Enhance my creative capacity for positivity and healing
- Make crucial strategic and rational choices
- Maintain optimism for me and concerned love ones
- Let in spiritual guidance, both Jewish and Universal.
As I further considered the 3Cs for dealing with cancer, I recognized they also applied to any life crisis – whether relationship, financial, business, emotional or spiritual. The 3Cs are useful in approaching the crises and challenges besetting people going through the senior minefield of aging after 60 years.
Let’s examine each of the 3Cs and finally their synergy.
1. Constructive
In thinking about healing my cancer, I concluded I’d have to be highly constructive in thoughts and actions. While being positive is a specific attitude that involves believing that my actions would produce valuable results, being constructive involves developing an action strategy that would turn the positive-attitude-based goal into a concrete successful outcome.
So, I was determined to lead with robust can-do attitudes, develop a new framework for perceiving reality (both inner and external), take decisive and coordinated actions, and track progress and any problems.
In our world of duality, there are always negative and positive thoughts and feelings. I endeavored to maximize my positive ones, and minimize or eliminate my negative ones. I worked hard on clearing my ground for new construction – by releasing the negativity of my immature thoughts, instant gratification, and the ego’s small and fearful voice.
When I inevitably had negative thoughts and feelings, I identified them, sized them up, determined where they came from (an insecure childhood), and let go of what no longer served me. Examples of negatives alerts include:
- Allowing the anxieties of people close to me to infect me
- Relinquishing responsibility for my health to the medical establishment
- Eating too many unhealthy comfort foods
- Reading websites with content not backed by research and authority.
Next, I needed to build a new set of powerfully beneficial beliefs. I would seek out positive ways of thinking and feeling that could be substituted for my negative patterns. The more I engaged in this constructive process, the more encouraged and empowered I became – envisioning my successful healing, regaining my vitality for living, and trusting that an absolutely amazing life could become my future.
Soon, I became aware of the critical role of my language in mythinking and speaking. I was habitually using too many negative thought forms. So, I began to build a new vocabulary:
- Out went habitual negative words – such as cancer, disease, fighting and suffering – which pulled me down and reinforced my illness identity.
- In came the positive words – such as harmony, healing, trusting, purifying and ease-and-grace – to strengthen my body-mind system, make me receptive to powerful new ideas, and uplift my morale and energy.
Then came the hardest task: Identifying and removing negative ideas lurking in the shadows of my unconscious mind – imbedded in childhood experiences and today wielding influence from deep within. I had become aware of some of the negative thoughts lurking in my unconscious, tripping me on the way to my goals. But I knew I was unaware of other negatives, likely to be the more insidious. So, I went into deep-dive mode – both in my meditation and inner conversations with my Higher Self (Soul), and with the guidance of healers, counselors and wise friends.
The results were fruitful in terms of uncovering and expunging negative memories that perpetuated toxic beliefs – such as feeling unloved, unaccepted, unworthy, stunted, fear, anger, hurt and shame.
A core illusionary belief was that my parents didn’t love and appreciate my unique personality. My wounded child had held onto this pain for seven decades. In a meditation guided by a highly intuitive friend, my parents’ spirits came from the other side and told me how much they loved me as a child (although back then they didn’t know how to express it), and unconditionally love me now (with pride filling their hearts). As if by magic, the next morning I awoke without a trace of resentment toward my parents; and it has lasted since then.
2. Creative
Being constructive goes better when our creativity is flowing. This involves the development and application of new, innovative and multiple means to meet familiar or novel needs. Where a few, one or no ideas existed, with active creativity new ideas emerge in the mind – after springing from Source. To delight, inform and inspire, our imagination can be exercised and yield intriguing ideas and insights. Even Einstein said that imagination is more important than knowledge.
I believe most real-world needs or issues have one or more ideal solutions. These exist somewhere in the Universe, and can be accessed with one’s conscious and creative mind. I see myself as an artist facing a blank canvas. I allow my mind to give birth to a multitude of ideas, nurture those with promise, and polish them into ready-to-go actions.
Here are examples of my cancer healing solutions:
- Bored with the same old meal options, I added healthy and gourmet dishes worthy of a multi-star restaurant.
- In Sedona, Arizona, where I lived at the time, I found an area of Nature with what I sensed had exceptional healing energy; and figured out where to stand, sit, gaze, walk, swim and nap – thus enabling me to tap into the Earth’s profound healing power.
- I wrote posts and articles to convey the deep personal experience of my healing process, and shared them with other cancer patients and their caretakers.
When interacting with medical professionals in several hospital units, I sensed how to greet, engage, amuse and bond with them. I initiated the conversation, spoke with compassion, gave sincere positive and constructive feedback, asked questions clearly and diplomatically, injected unexpected humor, offered pleasing surprises (especially chocolates), and sang improvised lyrics to tunes of popular songs.
Also, with medical personnel, I witnessed my creativity build rapport and trust, enhance relationships, ease awkward situations, and open the hearts of most of the professionals with whom I interacted. To increase my creative energy, I breathed deeply to relax, took refreshing breaks, and asked myself questions regarding what is happening to me and what would be the best course.
The most difficult aspect of the medical system for me was experiencing the chemotherapy, radiation and surgery involved in treating my cancer. Instead of giving in to the severity and discomforts of these invasive medical methods, I would reframe them in creative ways to ease my stress, tension and pain. For example, I used spiritual metaphors and prayers, made each process into a spiritual ritual, and sang my way through the roughest parts. It worked every time – easing or transcending the unpleasant symptoms!
3. Conscious
The more consciousness we possess, the better able we are to see the reality of a crisis and know how to cope better with it. Each individual can be placed along a consciousness *continuum* – from lower/child to higher/master. Although there were moments when being anxious and overwhelmed would pull me toward the lower consciousness end, decades of working on my spiritual development came through to put me more often into the higher consciousness zone.
I believe living in a higher consciousness state enables us to achieve a greater life quality (wellness and happiness) and life quantity (years). Lower consciousness is seeing and accepting the world of reality in front of us – visible, solid and persistent. But whether a table or rock, human mind or physical body, quantum *physics has demonstrated that everything is energy*, and reactions are inevitably influenced by the observer.
Thus, there is hope – with enough focus and discipline – that we can expand our consciousness to attain a more powerful perspective working with the subjective reality of life. This involves seeing beyond the ordinary, everyday world – of drama, suffering, violence, limits, separation and sickness.
Instead, we can access higher-consciousness perceptions – which acknowledge the presence of a Higher Power – in the Universe (Spirit) and at our core (Soul). And this realization gives us the extraordinary ability to manifest enhanced realities – such as unconditional love, sustained joy, deep peace, accelerated transformation, greater unity and Oneness, and healing cancer.
The gap between the ordinary consciousness and higher consciousness can be bridged – by meditation, visualization, reflection, prayer and affirmations. I saw myself in a relationship with all things – including Divinity and I Am Presence. I had a two-way conversation with my Divinity within. I asked provocative questions and received luminous answers. While I often did this by my Self, I also sought help from persons who possess intuitive abilities to guide me in a healing process.
For many years, I had been using holistic health knowledge to improve my life. But with my cancer diagnosis, I knew I had much more to do! I started by asking Source, “Why did I get cancer?” The response came, “You are still burdened with toxic beliefs and habits, installed in childhood and disrupting your adult life.” As much as I thought I had ample consciousness and wellness, I sensed key unconsciously negative beliefs had contributed to igniting and feeding my cancer.
So, I concentrated on inner cleansing – of resentments (toward my family and old friends), unmet expectations (for a life partner and prosperity), and judgments (about what I deserved and why I lacked worthiness). These emotional tendencies were reinforced by my mental and physical bodies’ bad habits – such as addictions to white sugar and salt, excessive dark Internet and film watching, inadequate physical exercise, and insufficient hours of sleep. For all of these, I took bold and modest steps to remedy.
From my highest consciousness level, I looked at my problems and issues, suffering and excuses, angers and fears – that needed to be holistically purified for me to achieve cancer’s complete healing and prevent its nonrecurrence. I relied on the healing assurance of cancer’s big-three medical protocols – chemotherapy, radiation and surgery. And also, I put considerable faith, time and energy into alternative and holistic modalities to generate insights and achieve a more complete recovery and new patterns of wellness – with an emphasis on prevention of future chronic degenerative diseases like cancer.
I eagerly embraced many solo and assisted spiritual, emotional and physical healing modalities. These consisted of hypnosis, acupuncture, psychic readings, guided meditation, Nature immersion, past-life regression, conversations with my cancerous tumor, emotional releasing, and heart chakra opening. I believe my enriched healing agenda:
- Upgraded my overall health and immune system
- Sharpened my intuitive acuity to deal with a crisis
- Elevated my consciousness level (to choose my desired reality)
- Restored my body’s natural wellness condition
- Ended successfully my first (and hopefully last) cancer chapter.
Synergy of All 3Cs
You may have noticed that in my describing each one of the inner power resources, or Cs, for resolving my cancer or any crisis, aspects of the other two resources were mentioned. When you align with all three resources, they combine and thus create a synergy for optimal healing. I believe this synergy substantially improved my return to holistic wellness and a promising senior life.
I invite you to contemplate and apply your best version of each of the 3Cs to any crisis and major problem you may face, now or in the future. Then, allow the 3C synergy to profoundly overpower your crisis on your physical, mental/emotional, and even spiritual dimensions. Even if complete healing doesn’t happen, 3Cs synergy can help you deal more effectively with how you can enjoy your life or peacefully approach your death.
I view a crisis, major or minor, as a wake-up call. One that requires my immediate attention and action to correct a disharmony occurring in my life. Although I’m usually aware of it physically and mentally, with greater reflection I can now sense the deeper causes located in my unconscious emotional and spiritual dimensions. Empowered by the 3Cs, we can cope more thoroughly and confidently with any crisis, and develop a more powerful strategic response.
As a way for seniors to prevent and resolve a cancer-magnitude crisis, I reflected on what I had learned from my cancer experience. I wrote an article, You’ve Got Cancer, and a one-person show, Larry’s Cancer Monologue. These projects helped me realize that I had created a personal development, holistic wellbeing system, called Adventurous Aging.
Rather than see life after age 60 as an inevitable downhill slide into disease, loss and distress, the Adventurous Aging system enables seniors to take charge of their life. We can do this – by ourself or with coaching support – by:
- Acknowledging and mining our vast life experience
- Claiming the wisdom we’ve acquired from the experience
- Using our strongest inner resources (our superpowers).
In this way, I believe we can improve the prospects of manifesting a final-life-chapter of wellness, love, joy, purpose, fulfillment and peace. We can expect the Adventurous Aging life journey to go better as we align and apply a constructive, creative and conscious approach to transform our senior years into the best years of our life. Hey, it’s alchemy in action!
For a fuller description of Adventurous Aging, see https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100082105301582; to discuss how Larry’s coaching approach can benefit you, contact him at larryros@gmail.com or Whatsapp.com/1-928-202-0010.
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I have been absent for a while. I thought when I stopped practicing law and mediation, and completed ordination, I would have lots of time to write, and exercise and play. None of that has happened. But today I am back.
I may have told you before. I love movies. Debbie and I have been going to the movies every week, sometimes more than once, since we got married. Having babies didn’t stop us. Only the pandemic slowed us down. As soon as we could, we started going at odd times so the theatre would be mostly empty, and we could take off our masks. Now we are starting to go back regularly again.
We love all kinds of movies. Well, not all kinds. I don’t like horror movies. We love movies from action to documentary, from animated (we have been the only adults without children at many Disney movies) to comedy, from western to mystery and everything in between. Many critics have lamented the onslaught of comic book and video game movies. I love them.
Movies give me that two-plus hours of escape from the world gone crazy. I love watching movies at home. When the world gets to me, I will watch Notting Hill. OK, I admit it, I love a rom com that makes me smile or cry, or both. But I really love going to the movies in the theatre. The theatre, as Nicole Kidman says, makes movies better.
And in the theatre, we get to see more than just the movie. We get to be excited by the trailers for the upcoming movies. At the last movie we went to, there was half an hour of coming attractions. I can’t wait to see most of them. I only hope the movies are as good as the trailers. Some of these coming attractions were for movies that won’t come out for more than a year. Marvel has already scheduled Phase 5 and 6, with release dates for the next 3 years. And it has yet unscheduled projects for at least a few years after that.
I am getting older. Yes, I know we are all always getting older. But now I am noticing it in my legs, in my back, in my eyes and in the mirror (how did my dad get here?). Time marches on and I am getting trampled. So, I watched these coming attractions this time and I had a thought. When I am 90 years old, at a Marvel movie, and the coming attractions are shown, how will I feel, knowing I may not be around to see the movie. Will I regret not being able to see Guardians of the Galaxy, Volume 11? How will I deal with that, as I get closer to the inevitable?
The Lubavitcher Rebbe, Rabbi Menachem Mendel Schneerson, said that the Torah considers old age a virtue and a blessing. In the Torah, “old” is synonymous with “wise” and we are commanded to respect all elderly, regardless of their scholarship and piety. He pointed out the contrast between Torah and the prevalent attitude in the 20th-century western world, where old age is a liability. Old age brings more self-reflection, and concerns as our physical abilities lessen. We may even start to believe the marketers who say old age is to be resisted with medicines and cover-ups and acquiring more things. But all those things, everything, can be taken away except one thing; to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, choose one’s own way, to paraphrase Victor Frankl in Man’s Search for Meaning.
The Talmud states that each Jew is obligated to say 100 blessings a day. Why? Because they remind us to acknowledge sacred moments, and some we might not normally consider sacred. Heschel taught that with the destruction of the Temple, we lost our collective sacred space. So, we shifted our collective focus to sacred time. When you are at a wedding, and it is already 15 minutes after it was scheduled to start, you might joke it is operating on Jewish time. But to live on Jewish time is to see each moment of each day we are alive as sacred and worthy of blessing.
We have read that God lays out the plan for how people are supposed to prepare for their lives. Through the teen years, the Jew should study the Bible, Mishnah, Mitzvot and Talmud. By twenty, the Jew’s life work begins, but he does not take positions of authority until age 30. Age 40 brings discernment, and by 50 the Jew is ready to counsel others. Not until age 60 is a man considered an elder and he is then endowed with special strength at age 80. Aging might bring less physical strength or a slower body, but it also brings wisdom, which is a virtue and a blessing. What do we do with that wisdom? Certainly not withdraw or hide.
That wisdom can still guide our life decisions and show us how to create meaning. It can help us realize that our job is not the only thing that gives meaning, and it may help us find something new. In my case, I have sought meaning through Judaism. Judaism has actually given me a new vocation, as I start to practice Pastoral Rabbinics and help guide younger people through their studies. And I get to write columns to express my feelings that some of you can hopefully find relatable.
I used to make believe that I had total control over whatever was in my future and I still, probably mistakenly, think I did maintain a fair amount of control. But if moving along in my 70’s, and living through the pandemic emphasized anything, it is that we can’t and don’t control it all. Once we fully embrace that truth, it is actually easier to loosen the grip of horror of the unknown.
And what happens when I see the previews, fully accepting what has really always been true: that I may not be around to see the movie. As the previews were rolling this time, I turned to Debbie and asked, “when I reach that point, when I am sitting here at age 90, should I stop watching the previews?” “Don’t be ridiculous,” she said, “you never stop watching previews. They create a future, for you to live into.” Great wisdom for us all. I am so lucky to have her share her wisdom with me.
Give someone the benefit of yours.
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Until the 20th century, Jews believed in the reality of angels, who were thought to appear among us in everyday life.
In ancient Israel, the world of the spirit was intermingled with the world of everyday life. It was not somewhere out there but right here among us and within us. Today some Jews still see and occasionally experience the mysteries of the spirit in everyday life. For others spiritual experiences are illusions. And for still others there is a known or unknown longing for spiritual experiences that might bring us closer to God. One form of these experiences is an encounter an angel, stories of which is actually more common today than you might think. The Hebrew name for angel is Malach, which also means messenger. Angels were thought to be messengers of God.
Recently, archeologists have dug under the floors of homes in ancient Mesopotamia. Among other things, they found amulets and simple ceramic bowels inscribed with personalized appeals to angels, God, and other sacred heroes. They pleaded for help in healing illnesses, restoring love in marriages, increasing business or protecting their home from demons and other evil forces.
And our Hebrew bible of course is filled with angelic figures, (usually disguised as men): the angels who came to Abraham’s tent and announced that Sarah would have a child at 90 years old; the angel who stayed Abraham’s hand as he prepared to sacrifice Isaac; the angel who wrestled with Jacob, whose name was changed to Israel, which means wrestilng with God.
In the first few centuries of the Common Era, it was generally thought that two angels accompanied each family home after the Sabbath Service. If the Sabbath table was properly prepared with candles, the family would be blessed with assistance in everyday life.
When Reform Judaism first rebelled against Orthodox Judaism, our movement followed the lead of a culture which anointed science and rationality as the sole criteria of truth. Angels, along with other celestial beings fell into disrepute, and God alone reigned as Creator of the world and Divine architect of the covenant. But angels persist under the radar today, even in our liturgy. Every Sabbath evening, we sing the song “Shalom Aleichem,” peace be unto you. Few of us know the translation of this song, which adopts the ancient notion of the angels who accompany us home from Sabbath services.
Peace be unto you ministering angels, angels of the Most High, the King of Kings, the Holy One, blessed be He.
Come in peace angels of peace, angels of the Most High
Of the King, the King of Kings, the Holy One Blessed Be He.
Bless me in peace, angels of peace, angels of the Most High,
Of the King of Kings, the Holy One, blessed be He.
Depart in peace angels of the Most High.
Of the King of Kings, the Holy One, Blessed Be He.
Few people today say they believe in angels. But who knows? As we look for ways to bring home divine blessings from our Sabbath services, perhaps invisible angels are walking us home. Perhaps we have lost touch with these messengers of God, who are waiting for us to wake up to the divine presence that is all around us.
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My favorite cousin is kvetching about how decision-making has taken a turn since he turned 80 years old. And I might add, he does question his birth certificate as we both agree that Baby Boomers still feel 18 years old because the image in the mirror doesn’t reflect the18 year old self.
He has always been an active tennis player, skier, daily walker and still loves dancing to the Oldies But Goodies. He had a dental career for over 40 years, continues to keep up with new medical information, takes current events and history classes, has no problem driving, traveling or playing with the grandkids.
What he has a problem with are the medical issues that keep him from his former physical activities, like tennis and skiing. Even after a diagnosis of a rare form of blood cancer that he was treated for and is in remission, it’s a shoulder problem that annoys him the most because it keeps him from doing the sports he’s always been active in and loves.
And therein lies the problem: For many years he has joined a group of buddies for a yearly ski trip, A Boy’s Weekend! But recently he grappled with the emotional/logical decision as to go or not go! He logically knows he should not take the chance of racing down the slopes with the possibility of injuring the bad shoulder VS rising above the problem and go with his emotional desire to not let it get in the way of his quality of life.
He doesn’t want to be held back because of his age, shoulder issue or his mind telling him what’s best. He wants to continue to live his life and not relent on the number on his birth certificate nor what his doctor recommends.
He also knows this is not the biggest problem in the world but he does see it as a crossroads in his life. I did point out to him, as his wife begs him not to go, his real issue is that he’s dealing with a true LOSS in his life. This decision communicates a loss that is tangible, creates a rethinking of life-style and mind-set while reinventing the 80 year old man he is now and how his future will reflect that.
This small but significant issue raises many questions we must face as we age, especially because the realization that our minds and bodies aren’t in sync is painful, confusing and I’m not sure we are prepared to coup with the losses that come with it. As Jews, we are good at the loss/mourning process, we know how to do shiva, we know how many days to sit and grieve a loss, what foods to eat and what to expect from our community.
But as we get older, unexpected issues confront us that we may never have considered issues of loss. I’m sure we all fear the day when we’re told we can’t drive any longer.
I’ve not yet seen a manual for grieving the loss of our physical capabilities, our daily limitations, and, I might add, the foods we eat.
Don’t get me started about the loss of not being able to eat what I’ve enjoyed my entire life! I will never eat a pizza or sourdough bread again, real sour cream on latkes is a delight of the past and opening the freezer for Ben and Jerry’s is a memory from my younger self!
Yes, there are many substitutes for gluten and dairy but it’s not the same. Going to a restaurant or to someone’s home for a meal is a scary situation because even if you ask if there is dairy or gluten in the prepared foods, you can’t always be sure. The consequences to your stomach and digestive system are not worth one bite of pizza!
During parts of covid, I had friends who could not/would not give up their social lives. Dinners, lunches, grocery runs, mall shopping was a must with the explanation, “My mental health is as important as my physical health and staying home 24/7 is more than I can handle!” This was a conscious choice/decision. I personally was not able to wrap my brain around that theory because taking the chance of becoming ill was like eating an ice cream cone (dairy and gluten!) and the results were not worth the few moments of pleasure.
I might add those folks I’m referring to all got covid, some more than once, with comments, “I have no idea how I got covid!” As my Bubbe would say, “With a kinehora and pu-pu-pu,” to date I’ve stayed healthy and indoors so much the past three years that I now have a Vitamin D deficiency issue! Better than covid, and still better than eating dairy and gluten, as one pill and the increase of Vitamin D fortified foods help the deficiency! And if winter ever goes away, I will get out into the sunshine without the overwhelming fear of getting covid like we experienced two/three years ago.
I must also add that a great fear of becoming ill for me is that I live alone and being sick by yourself is terrifying. I recently got the norovirus, “I don’t know how I got it, especially because I wear a mask outside” and hanging out in the bathroom in the middle of the night all alone, with no one to bring a glass of water or a wet towel, is not a pretty picture; especially if you don’t know if your kids sleep with their phones on or off in case you need help! (You can’t ask them that question because then they’ll always sleep with the phone on anticipating your call at 3:00 AM!) It’s sad when you can’t get out of bed the next day to make yourself a cup of tea. I consider this scenario a loss because it’s realizing I can’t always take care of yourself.
Have you considered the losses we all had during almost two years-plus of covid? If you think about it, those were days lost to us that we cannot ever recapture, holidays without family members at our dinner table, loved ones birthday celebrations, grandchildren’s “firsts.” What about the Bar/Bat Mitzvahs via Zoom? My son cancelled his wedding because of covid! Though the pandemic was not a choice, the lost time of living each day in normalcy was a huge loss.
A close childhood friend was recently in town and while chatting over lunch she shared a choice she had to make a few years back. It seems that her high school sweetheart contacted her after her husband passed away. They hadn’t been in contact for about 20 years, though previous to that, they occasionally stayed in touch. She shared with me that she never stopped loving him but he married before she did so she married someone else, had a family and a nice life. She even revealed that as she walked down the aisle, she was thinking of him.
They spoke frequently, emailed and texted for months until he finally suggested they get together. They lived on different coasts and because she was retired and he had a business, she did the traveling. As she shared with me these details, she lit up and seemed to recover her long-lost love. This went on for two years, up and back every three months staying for two weeks at a time. He lived in a remote area where there were no museums, very few shopping areas, one theater and restaurants that weren’t up to pare to her big city. While he went to work, she didn’t have much to do. She realized she was a city mouse, hated snow, hated humidity and missed the ocean.
But she was very happy when they were together. They laughed all the time, played board games, enjoyed the same TV shows and movies, took long walks, cooked together and never ran out of subjects to talk about. When she returned home they shared hours of daily texts and night time phone calls.
Then one day, as he put her on a flight back home, he told her, “If you don’t move here, the relationship is over.” There had been no conversation about her moving let alone marriage talk. She told me how shocked she was at his declaration, told him she was in-love with him, and asked, “How can you expect me to leave my children and small grandchildren right now?
All he said was, “You make the choice.”
That was the last time they ever spoke. He would not answer her calls, emails or texts after she wrote to him that she could not leave her family at this time. He even had children and grandchildren in her state and she begged him to move where both their families were. He never responded.
The choice she made was devastating to her but she knew it was the right choice as she would not give up watching her grandchildren grow nor be away from her own kids at those important times in their lives.
Her choice was a loss she never saw coming. She admitted to me that it took her two years to stop grieving and move on with her life. She didn’t regret the time she spent with him but she didn’t know if she had to do it over again, that she would or emotionally could but it better prepared her for choices and decisions. When they were teens he had once given her a copy of, “ ‘Tis better to have loved and lost than not to have loved at all.” “How ironic is that?” she said to me.
Whether it’s our health, an activity, a food or a person, is it, “Better to have loved and lost than not to have loved at all”? That’s a very personal question one can only answer after exploring our personal life experiences and expectations.
As we grow older, hopefully with the companion of wisdom, we can keep the memories of what was in our rear view mirror with the understanding that the choices and losses ahead come in all shapes and sizes and have different visions of what is, could be and will be….PS: My cousin went on the ski trip, came home healthy with no injuries, noticed he wasn’t as spry as he used to be but had a great time and would do it again!
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On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Rabbis Deborah Bodin Cohen and Kerry Olitzky discuss their forthcoming book, Heroes with Chutzpah, featuring biographical profiles of outstanding Jewish figures from history.
In Heroes with Chutzpah, readers will meet 101 Jewish changemakers from the recent past and present, who challenged the status quo in the arts, sciences, social justice, sports and politics. Each one-page biography is accompanied by an original digital portrait. This children’s book about Jewish heroes is inspiring and fun.
Heroes with Chutzpah captures the diversity of the global Jewish community, showcasing Jews of different racial backgrounds, gender and sexual identities, and religious orientations from secular to Orthodox. Instead of focusing exclusively on icons, we included an eclectic mix of both lesser-known and renowned personalities with engaging, inspiring, and meaningful stories that will resonate with children of all backgrounds.
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions.
Listen to the Audio PodcastYou can listen to the audio podcast version in the player below, or subscribe to the podcast in one of the popular platforms by clicking one of the buttons below the player.
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- Stitcher About the GuestsRabbi Kerry M. OlitzkyDeborah Bodin Cohen (Debbie) grew up in Columbia, MD, and graduated from the University of Michigan’s Honors English Program. After working in Washington, DC, at various public interest groups, Debbie studied at Hebrew Union College in Jerusalem and New York. She was ordained as a rabbi in 1997. She has served congregations in North Carolina, New Jersey and Maryland, both as a pulpit rabbi and educator. Since 2017, she has been rabbi of Beth Chai in Bethesda, MD. She is also an editor at Behrman House Publishing.
Debbie is author of nine picture books and a teen novel. Her books have received multiple honors, including a National Jewish Book Award and Sydney Taylor Honor designations. The Grinspoon Foundation’s PJ Library has featured several of Debbie’s books and has translated them into Russian and Spanish for the international market.
In her free time, Debbie enjoys creating artwork, traveling, spending time with her family and, of course, reading. Debbie lives in Rockville, MD, with her husband David, a journalist. They have three children, Arianna, Jesse and Ezra. A Collie named Indigo completes the family.
Rabbi Dr. Kerry M. OlitzkyRabbi Dr. Kerry M. Olitzky is the former long time executive director of Big Tent Judaism (previously the Jewish Outreach Institute), a national independent organization dedicated to bringing Judaism to interfaith families and the unaffiliated. He served as visiting professor at the Abraham Geiger Kolleg/University of Pottsdam in Germany and
has been a Fellow at the City University Graduate Center (NY) in its Jewish Studies Program. He has been named as one of the 50 Leading Rabbis in North America by Newsweek. Formerly, he served as vice president of the Wexner Heritage Foundation, the premier adult Jewish learning and Jewish leadership program in North America. Previously, he was national Dean of Adult Jewish Learning and Living of Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion where he served on the faculty and administration for 15 years following his tenure as rabbi at Congregation Beth Israel in West Hartford, CT. A leader in the development of innovative Jewish education, particularly for adults, he has shaped training programs for clergy of all faiths, especially in the area of pastoral care and counseling in the Jewish community. He has done pioneering work in the area of Jewish Twelve Step spirituality, as well as Jewish Gerontology.
He is the author of over 75 books and hundreds of articles in a variety of fields. He is known for books that bring the insights of Jewish wisdom into everyday living. His opinion pieces are published in leading publications throughout North America and in Israel. Most of his recent publications are children’s picture books, as well as the early reader The Adventures of Leila and Ilana (White Bird Publications).
The post Seekers of Meaning 05/05/2023: “Heroes with Chutzpah,” new book by Rabbis Deborah Bodin Cohen and Kerry Olitzky appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
Editor’s Note: Rabbi Holly Cohn is a hospice chaplain in Texas and wrote this as part of her class on Aging that is part of Wurzweiler School of Social Work’s Certificate in Gerontology and Palliative Care that Rabbi Address teaches in.
One thing I love about Judaism is all the moments connected to ritual. There is something powerful about sanctifying a specific time, transition, milestone, or life-cycle event. My dad turns 90 today and is still able to do almost all activities of daily living despite having Parkinson’s Disease and Dementia. As his ADLs diminish and his illnesses progress, it would be nice to have rituals and/or prayers that normalize the changes he will continue to face.
As he has aged, one transition that was very difficult for him was when he had to begin using a walker both in and outside of the house. He resisted it at first, but now has one we call the Rolls Royce (It is a rollator walker that is special for someone with Parkinson’s Disease. It is weighted and does not fold up). The other, used outside the home is his Sports Car (A snazzy red walker with black stripes that does fold up). I got this idea for naming them from one of my hospice patients who calls her nicer walker her Bentley. Perhaps, if there were a prayer one could say for this change in mobility, or a ritual associated with having to use assistive devices, this might normalize something many perceive as a sign of weakness or deterioration.
For the transition of needing to use a walker:
Dear God, I know sometimes my legs fail me so bless me with strength and courage during this journey in life to accept the assistance I need. There is nothing shamefull about my body needing added support. I will thrive and be able to participate in the world around me more freely. If others think less of me then so be it. I know that I am created in Your image and am not broken but made more whole and holy through daily interactions, the ability to maintain balance and protect this holy body that you have given to me. Step by step I thrive. Step by step you enliven my soul. Mobility in all its forms is a blessing. Baruch atah, Adonai, Eloheinu, Melech haolam, hameichin mitzadei gaver. Blessed are you Eternal One, Sovereign of the Universe, who makes firm our steps.
The post Make Firm My Steps: A Ritual Response To Parkinsons appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
Rabbi Address recently appeared on the Not Born Yesterday Podcast, sponsored by NEXTVillageSF.org, a neighborhood nonprofit providing services and support that empowers members to live independently.
You can listen to the program in the player below.
The post Rabbi Address is guest on the ‘Not Born Yesterday’ podcast appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
In reflection of the one year anniversary of my Bat Mitzvah I feel gratitude and remember and treasure the celebration with family and friends. I would like to share this D’var Torah with you:
I am reading from Parashat K’doshim Leviticus 19:1-8, using the Plaut translation of Torah.
The Eternal One spoke to Moses, saying: Speak to the whole Israelite community and say to them: You shall be holy, for I, the Eternal your God, am holy. You shall each revere your mother and your father, and keep My sabbaths: I the Eternal am your God. Do not turn to idols or make molten gods for yourselves: I am your God. When you sacrifice an offering of well-being to the Eternal, sacrifice it so that it may be accepted on your behalf. It shall be eaten on the day you sacrifice it, or on the day following; but what is left by the third day must be consumed in fire. If it should be eaten on the third day, it is an offensive thing, it will not be acceptable. And one who eats of it shall bear the guilt for having profaned what is sacred to the Eternal; that person shall be cut off from kin.
Leviticus 19:1-8.
Shabbat Shalom, Good Morning.
I feel so blessed to be here with all of you today, my family and friends. Thank you mom, Frank and Mary Pat, Jen and Jeff, Kim and Evan for being part of this journey. Helena and Craig, Michelle and Arie and your family for standing up with me today and always inviting me to the table. Adriana, my chaplain sister, thank you for the beautiful centerpieces. And to all my chaplain friends who lifted me up with their warm blessings and guidance.
I also want to wave to my friends and family out there drinking their morning coffee and streaming in their jammies, Eric, Ken and Cathy, and all my nieces and nephews in Florida.
Wow! It’s my Bat Mitzvah Day. I am finally here. I also want to thank Rabbi David, Rabbi Disick, Cantor Neil, Debbie, Ruth, Steve and Judy, Ira, Liz, and Tula for making this all possible. It has been about 40 years of wandering in the wilderness. I am home, sharing this beautiful moment with all of you.
You shall be holy…
What does it mean to be holy?
Is it checking off boxes of the things that you think you are supposed to do?
Or perhaps how you think you are supposed to do them?
Or is it just about following the rules?
Something inside tells me that it is spiritually far more deeper than that.
That’s not to say that rules and guidelines are not important. They assist in establishing a foundation of practice. This I believe allows space for transcendence to a higher level of consciousness, a sacred space of holiness.
You shall love Adonai, your God with all your heart and you shall love your neighbor as yourself.
It is a template for embodying God’s holiness. A covenantal relationship of love, compassion, and kindness. A love that is mirrored to and from God and expanded out into the world. It is a blueprint for how to treat others with dignity and respect with an expectation of reciprocity. That is what keeps us holy. We need more love, peace, and kindness in this world.
Our Shabbat service is a living example of how the holiness codes are woven throughout the liturgy of worship. And the songs of prayer are a celebration of love, peace and kindness.
Rabbi David describes the holiness code as the heart of Torah. K’doshim is read every year at Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement, and it serves as a guide for how one spiritually lives in a community.
Speaking of community, I joined Temple Emanuel in the midst of the Covid-19 pandemic. It was a way to spiritually connect during a time of isolation and significant loss. Working as a Clinical Chaplain for Serenity Hospice put me in places and circumstances that I could not even have imagined. Tuning in to services on Friday nights, Torah Study on Saturday Morning, Talmud Study with Rabbi Eron on Wednesday, and the Intro to Judaism Class with Ruth and Rabbi David kept me grounded and able to be of service to others. I am so grateful.
Keeping the Sabbath …
Do we really allow ourselves to take a day off?
Keeping the Sabbath was just not a part of my usual routine. In fact, I would go out of my way to pick up extra shifts at the hospital. It was really life changing when I received permission at Shabbat services to slow down. Every week I was encouraged to honor self care and to refrain from over extending myself. I stopped working 24/7 and felt more at peace.
One of the best Shabbat moments was when there was a pause in the pandemic. We had Torah study at the Temple and it was the first time I was able to meet the people in those zoom squares in person. Everyone was so welcoming. Rabbi David opened the floor to questions and I asked if he would work with me to become a Bat Mitzvah.
During the summer I took an introductory Hebrew Class on-line and in the fall set up an appointment to meet with Rabbi. I asked about the Bat Mitzvah and was shocked when he said, “Ok let’s pick a date…”
Today is that date April 23, 2022
Revering your Mother and Father…
Mom, thank you for your love and support for my journey, travels to Jerusalem, and for my Bat Mitzvah celebration.
Dad, May your memory be for a blessing on this special day, your birthday. I feel your presence with me today.
Idols and Molten gods…
While the idols of today are not necessarily molten gods. What do we turn to when alleviating our discomfort in the world? Hollywood, the internet, money, electronic devices?
What are the things that you cannot live without?
And some of us just step away…
When I met with Rabbi I was given a double Torah portion for today. It’s called Acharei Mot-K’doshim. It explores the aftermath of the loss of Aaron’s two sons, Nadab and Abihu. It is an invitation to explore grief and unexpected loss.
I have empathy and great compassion for Aaron and for all those who mourn and grieve. I understand what loss feels like having experienced the death of my mother when I was nine years old and the death of my father about 10 years ago.
There were not a lot of resources for grief back then like the ones we have today including the support group here at Temple Emanuel and the beautiful Yizkor service held here today.
Looking back, I felt disconnected from God and my religion. I didn’t understand the language or the service, and I never felt God’s presence in synagogue.
Until I was called.
I will say that God has a sense of humor calling a secular Jewish woman to seminary and chaplaincy.
It was time to remove my sandals.
There was a pivotal moment about 6 years ago that brought me back to Jewish life. It was right before Rosh Hashana. I was chaplain on duty at the hospital working on my 3rd Unit of Clinical Pastoral Education and was checking in on a new referral. The patient was busy on the phone and it was really difficult getting into his room. It took about 3 tries. Finally, I was able to talk with him and he just happened to be a Rabbi. He was an Emeritus Rabbi being visited by the Cantor and Rabbi from his synagogue.
What was interesting about the encounter was that he was schooling the chaplain. He was asking probing questions wanting to know what kind of chaplain I was and not satisfied by any of the nonsense that I was saying to him. He saw me. I was still passing not identifying with any particular religion during that time. And I really was not sure what I even believed in. I just knew that I felt a connection to something larger than myself.
That was when Rabbi spoke about about spiritual Judaism, Spinoza, Reconstruction, and Renewal. He said, “We are a spirited tribe.” And that was the moment when I heard myself asking him out loud if I was part of the tribe. Rabbi answered, “you never leave the tribe. Even a shunned Spinoza was reconciled in Israel.”
While we were talking a nurse walked in and the Rabbi said to her, “Do you realize that you are walking into sacred space? We have two rabbis, a cantor and a Jewish chaplain here.” It was the first time I was addressed as a Jewish chaplain and there were tears of healing that day.
It was important to me to have this rite of passage here today in the synagogue with my family and friends present. I am very grateful to be in this sacred space standing before you with both my whole and broken pieces in the mishkan. That is what it means to be holy. To be loved by God just as you are.
As I was walking with Rabbi David this week to the sanctuary that he built he introduced me to the new Cantor as a Jew by choice. I immediately replied that I was just a Jew. He stated that all Jews were Jews by choice.
Upon further reflection that day I heard, “It is not what you are born into but what you live out.”
Shabbat Shalom
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For people in the Baby Boomer generation who want to live a vibrant, full and profound life, I recommend grasping the meaning of a Carpe Diem (Seize the Day) approach to living each day – by understanding how it contributes creatively and strategically to a Way of Life that delivers valuable holistic benefits.
In my own life since turning age 60, I’ve cultivated a carpe diem mentality to achieve greater wellness, purpose, passion and, in my opinion, the promise of longevity. Let’s face it, we Boomers are in the final stretch of our life’s journey, which Jane Fonda and others refer to as Act 3 – also called the wisdom years.
I believe it’s of immense value for us to seek, find and apply every great-living advantage we can get – to overcome what can go wrong during our advanced-aging years. Thus, the responsibility is on us seniors to take our best shot at living an enthusiastic and fulfilling life after age 60.
At my age of 80, I possess a post-retirement flexibility and powerful desire to pursue a purposeful and passionate life. Developing the Carpe Diem Way of Life has done marvels for my creating a multidimensional and high-quality life during my 60s and 70s. And now as I enter my 80s, I intent to go into an even-higher gear!
I want to share my perspective on Carpe Diem’s value for older people. We’re in life’s final phase, in which I believe we can still achieve our highest levels of inner love, joy and peace, and outer connection with other people and contribution to the world. I view Act 3 as a platinum opportunity to enjoy life’s best of times!
Getting Past the Old-Age Blues
I have observed and at times myself felt what I call the old-age blues, which seniors can feel chronically or during tough episodes. As they say, getting old is not for sissies! So, what is lacking in our 60+ years that diminishes or shreds our senior quality of life? And thus, sets us up for negative thinking and feeling about ourself and the world.
Modern society’s prevailing cultural way of looking at old age is that it’s life’s saddest time. For this is when senior people slow down, face declining physical and mental health, and may throw themselves into pleasurable activities (unconsciously) aimed at distracting them from the shadow of severe illnesses and impending death. I refer to pleasure pursuits such as shopping, television, golf, card-playing, and conversations about the good-old past.
Hey, if seniors desire to maximize their pleasure, they’ve earned the late-in-life right to live as they choose. While pleasure has been found by researchers in this field to be one of the two principal causes of happiness, the other one is life’s purpose – as in meaning, mission and legacy.
In my experience, it’s the synergy of pleasure and purpose that produces optimal happiness – which I regard as critical to living a life of wellness, quality and longevity. And I see this as a powerful way to shake off the old-age blues.
What’s the Carpe Diem Lifestyle?
For seniors who crave more than a conventional and vulnerable life, they’d do well to embrace a committed and vigorous Carpe Diem Way of Life. What would seizing the day, every day, look like? Based on my personal experience as a senior for two decades, I shall share my holistic approach to living a full-on Carpe Diem agenda, virtually every day.
Carpe Diem-infused activities can be the highlights of your day. They can engage and deepen who you are as a human being, and what you want to do with your precious senior days. In my life, I’ve welcomed getting these benefits:
- Unleashing and expressing my creativity
- Learning exhilarating and valuable knowledge
- Discovering the wisdom in life’s lessons
- Finding more ways to enjoy life to the max
- Strengthening intellectual capability
- Opening the heart to love, joy and empathy
- Elevating consciousness to a higher level
- Relating to fascinating individuals, groups and communities
- Enhancing the inner world to thrive in the outer world.
Although the Carpe Diem Way of Life may seem demanding and highly energy-consuming, I’ve found it’s natural to balance spirited day-seizing and gentle down-time activities. Examples of down times include napping on a hammock, watching floating clouds or moving water, walking leisurely amid Nature, listening to soothing music, playing with children or pets, and sweet conversations with loved ones.
Infusing Carpe Diem into Act 3
Here are seven Carpe Diem Way of Life approaches I’ve used to help me live my best years in Act 3:
- 1. Upgrade your mindscape for senior living. The mindscape concept recognizes the brain-mind’s plasticity for change, growth and excellence. And we’re its master designer and builder – with our thoughts and actions! To get through our final decades in good shape and spirits, I’ve realized it takes a transformed mindscape to thrive as a senior person. I’ve realized we have to know ourself, we need to be at our best, and make each day worthwhile and enjoyable –because we don’t know how many more we have. This is critical to living in the present, and being highly conscious of where we are, where we want to go, and what are promising ways to get there. It’s critical to be committed, open, resilient, creative, learning, confident, daring, loving, joyful and peaceful!
A senior’s Carpe Diem mindscape is at its best when we go within to know who we are and what we really want in Act 3; reconsider whether what worked in our younger years is right for us now; adopt new beliefs and habits for the key issues of our optimal wellness (body, mind, emotions and soul); take daily steps to stay vigorous (practicing Carpe Diem whenever possible); and remain focused on expressing our life’s meaning (values, purpose and mission).
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- Declare everyday an extraordinary day. It’s ideal take up in the morning with the resolve of creating a wonder-filled day. I call such a day as holistically activated – physically robust, mentally exciting, emotionally positive, creatively flowing, socially engaging, and spiritually connected. I suggest looking in the mirror and making an agreement with the Self you see staring back – to be fully awake to the potential and possibilities of living today in a state of heightened awareness and aliveness. This is the opposite of the sleep-walking style of drifting through another humdrum day with its familiar thoughts, controlled feelings, recurring activities, and minimal consciousness.
Celebrate the seemingly ordinary. We all must do things considered to be routine – such as our brushing teeth, eating our breakfast, and taking out the trash. But even familiar activities can be viewed as invitations to be creative, delightful and uplifting. If life is in the details, then celebrating ordinary activities can serve to warm up, practice and polish one’s Carpe Diem approach to the day. Go ahead, find how to bring a smile to your face – as you play your favorite music and sway while brushing your teeth in a novel sequence; add new and exotic ingredients to your salad and granola; and toss a trash bag in a basketball or ballet manner.
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- Identify your high-priority daring activities. Create a list of activities that would enhance your life with more meaning, love, joy, humor, relating, knowledge and wisdom. Next, make a to-do list of juicy adventures to enrich your day. For example, the list might include doing yoga or tai-chi, learning the polite words of a new foreign language, watching an inspirational video, researching a topic you are passionate about, writing an article or poem, getting together with lively people, meditating in a forest or on a beach, painting a picture, taking your dog to a waterfall, and dancing to music from your teen years. Each day chose one or more of these activities to jazz up and celebrate that you are awake and alive!
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- Go outside your comfort zone. Immerse yourself in an activity you have been thinking about, but postponing. Consider meeting and interacting with people who are different than you. You could read or sing to people older than you, or those in a hospital or hospice; play with young children in an orphanage; tutor disadvantaged teens who aspire to college; give career coaching to prisoners about to be released; and participate in house construction for poorer people. Being used to shopping in a conventional supermarket, visit an ethnic specialty food store – such as Asian, Middle Eastern or Latin American. When shopping in them, take small risks by buying packaged, prepared and fresh foods that expand your repertoire for creative cooking and adventurous eating.
- 5. Hang out with extremely creative people. Spend time with individuals, groups and communities known to be creatives and trailblazers – to whom Carpe Diem is a rallying cry. Become eager, open and curious to learn and explore new fields for lifelong learning courses and events in novel settings. These creative people might be retired teachers who are now feisty learners, seniors who are engaged in self-challenge and bar-raising physical or mental endeavors, and philosophical pioneers on the frontier of spirituality and consciousness expansion.
- 6. Speak normally but sometimes sing. I grew up loving Broadway musical shows. On the stage, when the actors want to convey special ideas and emotions, they break into song and/or dance. So why can’t we non-actors do that in daily life, at least occasionally? This Carpe Diem practice heightens our self-expression, shares authentic feelings, and brightens the energy of everyone around us.
In an overly serious world, I may suddenly burst into song – either a popular one (such as You Are My Sunshine), or a familiar tune with words made-up on the spot and customized to the individual or group in front of me. I call this a spontaneous song. After two decades singing this way, I’ve found it welcomed by nearly all listeners. I enjoy it when people react with, “You made my day!”
I know most people are anxious about a spontaneous song – because of doubts regarding their singing ability and rhyming agility. My reply: Do your best and be sure to smile; it’s your enthusiasm to connect, rather than your voice’s quality, that the listeners will appreciate. While involving a learning curve, breaking into an actual or spontaneous song has increased my joy of life, and generated delight among listeners.
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- Launch an innovative initiative for yourself. For seniors with an entrepreneurial spirit – either for most of their life, or discovered post age 60 – living Act 3 in the Carpe Diem mode can lead to revisioning, revising and rebooting their life in a new field or format. It could be in a business or nonprofit area; as a founder, executive, advisor or volunteer.
In my case, I had a five-decade career of change and renewal – as a marketing educator, management trainer, business consultant and coach, corporate communicator, and holistic healer. Then, at age 71, my cluster of talents and desired life mission coalesced to surprisingly transform me into an edutainer – the blending of educator and entertainer. I launched The Larry Show initiative (www.TheLarryShow.com). This labor of love involved creating and performing several one-person musical-and-inspirational shows – based on my life’s gritty highs-and-lows and lessons learned. With renewed purpose and passion in my life, I could practice Carpe Diem on stage and off stage.
Wrap Up
Carpe Diem is an attitude and practices in the personal development field, which I’ve expanded into a philosophy and way of life to enable people 60+ to thrive during their final and vulnerable Act 3. But rather than face a life of sinking, sickness and sadness, the Carpe Diem Way of Life can support them to revitalize how they live, which has a positive effect on their quality and joy of life.
The Carpe Diem Way of Life can satisfy seniors’ desire for a good life – full of foundation attributes – wellness, family and friends, and enjoyment – as well as elevated attributes – meaning of life, purpose, inspiration and growth. Both these sets of attributes are necessary to generate the synergy that assures a complete, whole and fulfilling life during a challenging Act 3.
When Carpe Diem reshapes your life and enhance its quality, it’s likely the seniors around you will realize the positivity and vibrance of your enhanced life. Thus, you may well become a role model to those of your generation or older. Expect that some of them will want to follow your example and learn how to live their version of an invigorating life.
For people needing help to create and practice the Carpe Diem Way of Life, it may be useful to do a deep dive into why they aren’t comfortable and even are resisting this holistically beneficial approach to their 60+ life. This is where encouragement and support may be valuable in the form of Adventurous Aging coaching and workshops that help seniors:
- Examine and release their limiting beliefs, philosophy and strategy that are undermining a strong Act 3.
- Identify and access their untapped and incredible life experience, wisdom and superpowers to manifest their best life yet.
For seniors with an open and creative nature, I invite you to embrace a Carpe Diem Way of Life, to generate more fun and fulfillment – for your Self and everyone your life touches.
For a fuller description of Larry’s coaching approach, Adventurous Aging, visit https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100082105301582; to discuss this coaching method with Larry, contact him at larryros@gmail.com.
I wish to express my gratitude to Andy Ferguson, friend and frequent co-author, for our valuable conversations about Capre Diem, and his astute contributions to this article.
The post The Carpe Diem Way of Life – To Invigorate Your Act 3 appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Jewish Sacred Aging contributing writer Carole Leskin discusses the challenges of “solo aging,” growing old without a spouse, partner, or close family members.
Carole was recently interviewed for a Washington Post article about the phenomenon of aging adults who don’t have immediate family such as siblings, spouses, partners, or even a support network of friends because of mobility issues, the isolation brought on by the COVID-19 pandemic, and the difficulty of connecting in general.
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions.
Listen to the Audio PodcastYou can listen to the audio podcast version in the player below, or subscribe to the podcast in one of the popular platforms by clicking one of the buttons below the player.
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- Podchaser
- Stitcher About the GuestCarole LeskinCarole Leskin is a retired Director of Global Human Resources. Embarking on a second career as a writer and photographer concentrating on her personal accounts of aging, her essays and poetry, frequently accompanied by her photos, are published in Jewish Sacred Aging, Jewish Women of Words, Starts At 60, Navigating Aging ( a Kaiser Health publication), Women’s Older Wisdom, Time Goes By and Next Avenue. Her poems, “Father Time” and “Carole’s Debate” were selected for inclusion in the 2019 anthologies of poetry, New Jersey Bards. Her photos have been featured in Mart R Porter Nature Forum.
The post Seekers of Meaning 4/28/2023: Carole Leskin, author and “solo ager.” appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Rabbi Charles Kroloff, rabbi emeritus of Temple Emanu-El, Westfield, New Jersey, discusses his new book, Open Up Our Eyes: Moments That Shape Our Lives, about amazing moments in his personal and professional life.
The author, a renowned rabbi, counselor, and force for social justice, has had some amazing experiences dancing at the White House, ministering to congregants, on buses and trains in the Jim Crow South, in the swimming pool at Yale University, officiating at weddings and funerals, cheering for the NY Mets, and supporting the homeless. He has also experienced in unique ways the blessings of being a husband, father, grandfather, and son.
As he recalls amazing moments in his personal and professional life, he invites the reader to do the same. His spiritual insights will inspire you to think deeply about the joys and sorrows in your own life. He shows you how, by reflecting on the special and not-so-special moments of your past, you can find purpose in your life and make your days happier and more fulfilling.
The author has been deeply influenced by the teachings of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel, and Martin Buber. From them he has learned that every day is precious and that there are amazing blessings all around us if we will only open our eyes to them.
Rabbi Kroloff grapples with the despair that many feel over the current state of affairs in our world. He offers suggestions for how each us, no matter where we are in life or on the political spectrum, can make a difference. Although Judaism is his spiritual anchor, the author draws deeply on other traditions, secular and religious. Ultimately, he affirms his faith in the future of our nation and humankind. But he is not a naive, ivory tower optimist. He reminds us that our future depends on good people not remaining silent, but becoming a force for good in whatever small and large ways we can.
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions.
Listen to the Audio PodcastYou can listen to the audio podcast version in the player below, or subscribe to the podcast in one of the popular platforms by clicking one of the buttons below the player.
- Apple Podcasts
- Google Podcasts
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- Podchaser
- Stitcher About the GuestRabbi Charles KroloffRabbi Charles Kroloff was spiritual leader of Temple Emanu-El, Westfield, New Jersey, one of the region’s largest synagogues, for 36 years. He is past president of the Central Conference of American Rabbis which represents thousands of Reform rabbis worldwide. A magna cum laude graduate of Yale University, he was ordained at Hebrew Union College where he taught rabbinic students for three decades and where he continues to mentor future rabbis. An experienced marital and family therapist, he is the author of When Elijah Knocks: A Religious Response to Homelessness; 54 Ways You Can Help the Homeless; and, most recently, Open Up Our Eyes: Moments That Shape Our Lives.
Rabbi Kroloff is a passionate, fan of the NY Mets, fine art museums, and lap swimming. He and his wife, Dr. Terry Kroloff, the parents of three children, love to celebrate life with their seven grandchildren.
The post Seekers of Meaning 4/21/2023: Rabbi Charles Kroloff and his new book, “Open Up Our Eyes: Moments That Shape Our Lives” appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
Davar Torah for Tazria-MetzoraRecently, my wife and I visited Israel to spend time with our son who is studying there. In conversations with a Israelis about our respective lives, I was surprised by the extent to which Israelis, even those fluent in English, did not understand the word “chaplain.” When I asked an American-born moreh-derekh, a licensed tour guide, how to say “chaplain” in Hebrew, because I wanted to convey more easily what it was that I did professionally, the tour guide taught me the term “melaveh ruhani.” A light bulb went off in my mind. “‘Melaveh ruhani, of course!” The term roughly translates to “spiritual companion.” The source of the light bulb flash was that I had encountered the term melaveh ruhani in an amazing book that I read.
On a basic level, the Hebrew makes sense. It is related to the more familiar term from traditional Jewish practice halvayat ha-met, accompanying the dead to a proper burial; however, melaveh ruhani applies to accompanying the living. Both terms are related to the name Levi, as in the Tribe of Levi. As we try to make sense of the Book of Leviticus and especially this week’s double parsha of Tazria-Metzora, it’s important to remember the Kohanim as leaders of the Tribe of Levi — the tribe of accompaniment, par excellence.
One particular drasha on this week’s parsha highlights the pastoral role of the kohen: Lev. 13:3: “The Kohen shall examine the blemish on the skin of his body … when the priest sees it, he shall pronounce him impure.”
R. Meir Simcha of Dvinsk (1843–1926) notes that it means when the priest sees him — the person — not “it,” the disease. In other words, the kohen is to examine the whole person, not only the diseased limb. He is to see what is whole and healthy about the person, not only what is affected.
A Kohen is responsible to look out not only for flaws but to look at a human being and appreciate him or her beyond any flaws. The Kohen is charged to look out for a nega, a blemish. However, to fulfill that mission, there must be a vision of healing and wholeness. If the kohen focuses only on the blemish, the person will only be seen in terms of the blemish. With this broader perspective, the Kohen can unlock qualities of kindness that bring about healing for the individual and the community.
I’ve long appreciated this drasha (homiletical interpretation). However, I still have long found the plain meaning (full of diseases, blemishes, infestations and their out-of-mode remedies) to be very difficult reading if not impenetrable. Maps and Meaning: Levitical Models for Contemporary Care by chaplain colleagues Nancy Wiener and Jo Hirschmann was the source of my light bulb flash in Israel because it was in this book that I first encountered the term melaveh ruhani. The authors examine more deeply the role of the Kohen in tending to the metzora (person with skin disease), not as a diseased person to be fixed, but as a whole person who needs personal guidance and accompaniment through difficult transitions. Maps and Meaning took this difficult section of Torah and connected it to my life through explaining the practical role the kohanim played in serving the community as the leaders who provide spiritual accompaniment.
Most poignant for me from the book is the notion that those afflicted with the skin disease need to spend time outside the camp in order to heal. It is the Kohanim, leaders of the Tribe of Levi, who — in keeping with their tribal nam — are melaveh, they accompany the metzora to transition back into the community after healing.
In Maps and Meaning, the authors note that the role of guiding people has modern-day corollaries in which all of us as chaplains serve the role of melave. These include our work in hospitals, nursing homes, and military bases. In these and other places people are in some sense outside the camp of their familiar surroundings. The role of the chaplain, or, melaveh ruhani, is to see their situation, to name it, and to provide support. After healing has occurred, the chaplain, as melaveh ruhani, accompanies our modern-day metzora equivalents back across the threshold to return into the fold of the community.
Members of the Jewish community are often afraid of Tazria-Metzora because of its perceived lack of relevance to modern times. However, a fresh look at this double portion reveals the very mission statement for the chaplaincy profession. Each of us as a melaveh ruhani has the sacred task to be present for those experiencing dislocation in their lives. For one who is forced to be “outside the camp,” it is often a terrifying and dehumanizing experience. Our task is to see each person “outside the camp” in their wholeness, irrespective of any blemish, in their lives. We see them. We listen to them. We name their fears and other feelings. We bear witness to their humanity and remind them that they are special. We put our arms around them and accompany them.
May our sacred service in the role of melaveh ruhani, promote healing and wellness for the people we serve.
The post The Chaplain as Spiritual Companion appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, liturgist, poet and author Alden Solovy joins Rabbi Address from his office in Jerusalem to discuss his latest book, These Words: Poetic Midrash on the Language of Torah.
In These Words, liturgist Alden Solovy distills the Torah into its very essence: the individual words it contains. Echoing the midrash that the Torah has seventy faces, Solovy selects seventy of its Hebrew words that are pregnant with meaning. For each word, he delves into the etymology, translation, and usage, providing deeper insights into familiar texts. Then Solovy presents a beautiful poem–what he calls “poetic midrash”–inspired by and interpreting each word. From b’reishit (“in beginning”) to shamayim (“heavens”) to zachor (“remember”), These Words will change the way you look at the language of the Torah.
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions.
Listen to the Audio PodcastYou can listen to the audio podcast version in the player below, or subscribe to the podcast in one of the popular platforms by clicking one of the buttons below the player.
- Apple Podcasts
- Google Podcasts
- Spotify
- Podchaser
- Stitcher About the Guest(Michele Chabin Photo)Alden SolovyAlden Solovy is a modern day piytan, a traveling poet/preacher/teacher who uses Torah and verse to engage and inspire.
Alden embodies the intersection of scholarship and heart. A new voice for ancient yearnings, his writings resonate with the soul and his presence is sought after in Jewish spiritual spaces around the world.
A liturgist, lyricist, and educator, Alden offers a fresh Jewish voice, challenging the boundaries between poetry, meditation, personal growth, and prayer. His writing was transformed by multiple tragedies, marked in 2009 by the sudden death of his wife from catastrophic brain injury.
Solovy’s teaching spans from Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion in Jerusalem to Limmud and Leo Baeck College in the UK, and synagogues throughout North America.
He is the author of four volumes from CCAR Press: These Words: Poetic Midrash on the Language of Torah (2023), This Grateful Heart: Psalms and Prayers for a New Day (2017), This Joyous Soul: A New Voice for Ancient Yearnings (2019), and This Precious Life: Encountering the Divine with Poetry and Prayer (2021).
The Jerusalem Post called his writing “soulful, meticulously crafted.” Huffington Post Religion said “…the prayers reflect age-old yearnings in modern-day situations.”
Solovy made Aliyah to Israel in 2012, where he hikes, writes, teaches, and learns. His work has appeared more than 25 collections, including Prophetic Voices: Renewing and Reimagining Haftorah (CCAR Press, 2023), Mishkan R’Fuah: Where Healing Resides (CCAR Press, 2012), L’chol Z’man v’Eit: For Sacred Moments (CCAR Press, 2015), Mishkan HaNefesh: Machzor for the Days of Awe (CCAR Press, 2015), and Gates of Shabbat, Revised Edition (CCAR Press, 2016).
He is a three-time winner of the Peter Lisagor Award for Exemplary Journalism. His writing appears on Ritualwell.org, ReformJudaism.org, Ravblog.ccar.org, TimesofIsrael.com and tobendlight.com. Alden is also the founder of ManKind Project Israel.
The post Seekers of Meaning 4/14/2023: Alden Solovy discusses his latest book, a poetic midrash on Torah appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
In reviewing my life at age 80, I realized that my personal identity – Who I Am – has been largely formed by realizing four themes during my life’s journey:
- At 5 years, I knew I was attracted to boys – I was gay – but sensed it was a bad idea to talk about it.
- Shortly after, I was introduced to being Jewish, with its rich knowledge and traditions – in fact, my great-grandfather was a rabbi in Krakow, Poland.
- In my school years (from high school to a PhD in Marketing) and for much of my career (at three universities), I was an intellectual – as a way to mask my ineptness at sports and insecurities in life.
- For the past 20 years, I’ve come to terms with aging into an older person – with the physical vulnerability, emotional maturity, and accumulated wisdom that has come with it.
With these four identity components, I felt varying levels of a culturally influenced stigma. But the one that proved to be the most troublesome was being gay – shaped by my DNA, family and the America of my formative years (1940s-1950s).
This article tells the story of my life’s gay struggle in detail, and weaves in my Jewish, intellectual and aging dimensions along the way.
My Young Years
“The girl that I marry will have to be, as soft and as pink as a nursery.
The girl I call my own will wear satins and laces, and smell of cologne.”
From “The Girl That I Marry,” the Broadway musical Annie Get Your Gun, 1946.
At age 5 (1948), I sang that song to a crowed club of my mother’s cousins in Philadelphia. The song’s lyrics were part of my early sexual confusion. She had taught me romantic songs so I would fall in love with a Princess. But from that age, I desired to be physically close to a Prince! I was the big brother in my family, but I longed to have a big brother to share affection, and protect me from a hostile world.
I was gay, although I didn’t know what to call it. I knew I was different than other boys, sensed my attraction was wrong, and felt ashamed to say anything to anyone.
By age 7, I was aware I was Jewish. Although my parents didn’t practice the religion, they sent me to Sunday school. I was active in my synagogue until 16. As a result of feeling gay, I imagined that my God judged me for having sinful thoughts, although I hadn’t done anything yet! It was like God was saying to me, “If you’re gay, you will pay! And the cost is suffering.” Also, it didn’t help that I sensed prejudice (nasty comments) and experienced discrimination (obvious exclusion) for being Jewish from some Christian children in my Philadelphia neighborhood.
In my teenage years (1950s), I was attracted to certain masculine-yet-gentle teen boys. But I didn’t know what to do about it. I hadn’t met any gay people or didn’t know where to find them; I didn’t know there were gay books and magazines; and, I didn’t see any gay guys who were happy on TV shows and in films. Besides frustration, I felt flawed.
My fear of people knowing I was gay kept me in the closet – for over 30 years. In my 20s, my sexual hormones were strong, but I was too traumatized to do anything about it. From high school to graduate school, I put most of my energy into getting top grades – which led to my intellectual orientation.
My Adult Years
As an evolving intellectual, I earned a PhD in Marketing to obtain a faculty position at a university’s business school. I believed the doctoral degree and Assistant Professor title endowed me with power, prestige and protection. I desperately hoped that nobody would look deeper than these two masks, and guess I was gay.
In the 1970s, I taught and did scholarly research at New York University, in New York City. Also, I lived there – with a good view of the World Trade Center. While I was curious to visit the city’s gay bars, I was afraid I might meet some of my students.
By my late 20s, keeping my gay secret was undermining my mental state. I was heading toward a nervous breakdown, even fantasizing suicide. I temporarily escaped all this by taking a trip around the world for the three summer months. In Israel, where being Jewish was the norm, I had my first gay sex – with a Turkish guy.
Upon returning home to New York, my sexual confusion obsessed me. So, I went into psychotherapy to regain sanity. First, I was told I was a recovering intellectual – needing to get out of my head, and more into my body and heart. Second, came the big question as to what should be my sexual strategy: Seek out a prince or a princess?
Months of therapy increased my confidence enough to scratch my gay itch. Finally, I entered gay bars, where I met desperate guys – just like me. Some of them I took home for a one-night friendship. But my mind never could handle the world seeing me in a committed gay relationship.
Finally, I chose to date women and learned to seduce them – determined to succeed as a real man. Soon, I married the second woman I was intimate with; of course, I didn’t reveal I was gay. Because I believed I loved her and she adored me, I thought it might work.
During our four years together, I pretended to be straight – to her and the world. But inside, I felt inauthentic and unsatisfied. After a cousin of mine outed me in front of my wife, my mixed signals about our intimacy made sense to her. She insisted on a divorce, to which I meekly agreed, as was losing my closest friend. Later, I asked her to forgive me for my dishonest deception, which she did; it took me longer to forgive myself. Although devastated by losing her, at the same time I was relieved to be free of the game playing.
Alas, I was still confused about being true to myself or looking normal to society. I bounced back and forth between affairs with women and men. I was bisexual in behavior, because I still feared admitting the truth to the world and myself: I am truly gay.
It wasn’t until my late 40s, when I joined the University of Maryland Global Campus ng in Tokyo, Japan that I got up the courage to get a relationship and live with a male partner. But even then, my long-simmering inner conflict disturbed me. And my track record with Japanese men was mixed – one lovely-but-fragile relationship with a Japanese guy, but many strikeouts.
My Wisdom Years
What finally healed my anxiety about my sexual identity? It was in my early 60s, now living in Maryland, that I realized the price was too high to live with my shame. Upon retiring from my academic career, I became ill in body, shaky in mind, and separated from feeling my soul. To be happy and at peace with myself, I’d have to undertake a holistic makeover.
My life began to improve significantly when I practiced yoga, received energy-healing sessions, and studied holistic wellness. I began finding out how to release the negative and conflict-causing beliefs installed in my childhood. I accepted myself, and even learned to love myself. And beyond doing emotional healing, I finally became serious about developing a spiritual connection.
By then I was living in Sedona, Arizona, where Nature’s awesome beauty and higher consciousness community nourished my soul and connection to Divinity. I sought out Eastern wisdom traditions that led to University Spirituality. In the process, I joyfullly returned to Judaism – with a renewed pride in its long sacred heritage, and a love for its exquisite chants and songs.
The happy result of this higher-consciousness perspective has been to live in the ways of God’s Will, Mind and Heart. All is One, Divinity is within me, and I AM the Creator of my life. With my new mindset, being gay became far less defining and troubling. Now I wanted to be of service to people grappling with self-identity and self-actualization issues – especially those in the LGBTQ+ community.
Also, greater spiritual awareness and emotional confidence enabled me to tune into my God-inspired gift. After three years of singing lessons, at age 71 I realized that I was an edutainer – one who fused education and entertainment – sharing practical wisdom acquired during my lifetime of dramatic highs and lows.
In all areas of my life, creativity surged – with my energy and results amazing everyone, including me. My inner child came out of another closet – after being inside for 50 years – which generated courage and joy in me. I launched a business, The Larry Show (www.TheLarryShow.com) – which included two one-person, musical-comedy shows, highlighting my gay-self-acceptance. I had made the stigma to spirit transformation! In performing my shows worldwide, I could show up off stage as open and genuine; this further strengthened me, emotionally and spiritually.
Between ages 60 and 78, I grew in sensitivity and wisdom because of my crises of advanced aging – cancer, anxiety, digestive problems, and loss of loved ones. I developed a holistic mindset and lifestyle that enabled me to have a healthy, passionate, purposeful, fulfilling and spiritual life.
To further reboot my life, I launched Adventurous Aging coaching and workshops for people 60+ – especially for the LGBTQ+ community. I offered to reset their life from retiring to refiring – by applying their own experience, wisdom and superpowers; thus, enabling them to heal, grow and share. Thus, potentially resulting in an amazing life of wellness, meaning, vibrancy and impact – in short, their best years yet!
A year ago, I moved from Arizona to South Florida to enrich my life with the latter’s unique blend of Ocean and tropical setting, multigenerational and multicultural diversity, business and educational opportunities, artistic and creative vitality, and the mythical Fountain of Youth (which I discovered within me).
On the verge of turning 80, I identified myself as an extraordinary elder – with a clear life mission of sharing my consciousness, creativity, connections and contributions.
“I am what I am, I am my own special creation,
So come take a look, give me the hook or the ovation.”
From “I Am What I Am,” the comedy film La Cage aux Folles, 1978.
At last, thanks to healing and embracing my gay, Jewish, intellectual and aging dimensions, I am living a life of authenticity, love, joy and peace.
For a fuller description of Adventurous Aging, see https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100082105301582; to discuss this method with him, contact larryros@gmail.com.
The post Gay, Jewish, Intellectual & Aging – Stigma to Spirit appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Rabbi Ammiel Hirsch, senior rabbi of the Stephen Wise Free Synagogue in New York, discusses the upcoming Re-CHARGING Reform Judaism conference being held at the synagogue May 31-June 1.
The Re-CHARGING Reform Judaism Conference will convene thought leaders, Jewish scholars, philanthropists, and committed lay leaders from throughout the U.S. and Canada for an extraordinary opportunity to assess this crossroads moment and offer a call for a bright future.
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions.
Listen to the Audio PodcastYou can listen to the audio podcast version in the player below, or subscribe to the podcast in one of the popular platforms by clicking one of the buttons below the player.
- Apple Podcasts
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- Podchaser
- Stitcher About the GuestShahar Azan PhotoRabbi Ammiel HirschRabbi Ammiel Hirsch is the senior rabbi of Stephen Wise Free Synagogue in New York City. With a fiery voice, a listening heart and a brilliant mind, Rabbi Hirsch articulates a clear vision for the survival and success of American Judaism while tending compassionately to the needs of his growing congregation.
Internationally recognized for his leadership in Jewish affairs, Rabbi Hirsch is frequently cited in the media. In 2018, The Jerusalem Post named him among “The 50 Most Influential Jews of the Year.” City & State praised him as “the borough’s most influential voice” for Manhattan’s more than 300,000 Jews and The New York Observer named him among “New York’s Most Influential Religious Leaders.”
The son of Rabbi Richard G. Hirsch z’’l and Bella Hirsch z’’l, Rabbi Ammiel Hirsch grew up in the Washington, D.C., metropolitan area before moving to Israel for his high school years. From 1977 to 1980, he served as a tank commander in the Israel Defense Forces.
Rabbi Hirsch earned his LL.B Honors law degree from the London School of Economics and is a member of the New York State Bar. He received his ordination at the Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion in New York City, where he was granted numerous awards for academic excellence.
Prior to his arrival at Stephen Wise, he served for 12 years as executive director of the Association of Reform Zionists of America (ARZA), the Israel arm of the North American Reform movement.
Rabbi Hirsch has served on numerous boards of national and international bodies, including the Jewish Agency for Israel, the World Zionist Organization, the Conference of Presidents of Major American Jewish Organizations, and the Central Conference of American Rabbis. He is currently an officer of the New York Board of Rabbis, and a member of the Partnership of Faith, an interfaith body of New York religious leaders, and New York State Attorney General Letitia James’ Black-Jewish Clergy Roundtable.
An accomplished teacher and public speaker, Rabbi Hirsch is also the co-author of the acclaimed One People Two Worlds: A Reform Rabbi and an Orthodox Rabbi Explore the Issues that Divide Them.
The post Seekers of Meaning 4/7/2023: Rabbi Ammiel Hirsch discusses “Recharging Reform Movement” Conference appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
I am a naturalist rabbi. I do not believe in the supernatural, or miracles, or transcendental emanations. When I talk about God, I am talking about the natural world, the awe-inspiring set of laws and causes that keeps it in existence — all of which are potentially accessible to human reason. Many would say that my perspective is incompatible with Jewish thought and values. But I argue, to the contrary, that this is where Judaism has been heading ever since the parting of the Red Sea.
According to the foundational narrative of the Jewish People, our story begins in about the 14th century BCE when our predecessors were living an abject, almost subhuman existence in Egypt. At this point, the proto-Israelites exercised nothing that could be characterized as freedom; their conduct was controlled by brutal taskmasters and their only goal in life was to live another day.
The Exodus narrative teaches us that in the 49 days after departing Egypt, these same people were sufficiently elevated in intellect and self-awareness to receive and comprehend the Ten Commandments (and by implication the entire Torah) at Mount Sinai. Presumably illiterate, however, they relied on Moses and the Priests to interpret the Torah and institute a new set of controls over the people, based on the needs of the community, rather than the individual. (For example, not coveting one’s neighbor’s wife separates humans from the lower primates and makes peaceful society possible.)
Those controls that described the Temple obligations of the Israelites remained under the autocratic control of the priests, all the way to the destruction of the Second Temple. But the secular controls followed a different path and guided a continuation of the Exodus.
The Israelites, then, submitted to two sets of authorities: the priests and the pharisaic courts. And in the courts the Israelite not only chafed against arbitrary controls, but fought against them, through disputation and advocacy.
Civil and criminal law grew into an important industry in ancient Jerusalem. Working with the belief that disputes should be resolved by referring to the Torah, the Pharisee lawyers developed the art of expanding, adjusting, extending, limiting or obviating the so-called written Torah, creating hundreds of new precepts, rules and operational definitions. These machinations were the true origin of the so-called oral law, transcribed into the Talmud after the destruction of the Temple and Jerusalem.
The oral law was a legal fiction, a way of adapting the original Torah for people living five or six hundred years later. It allowed the Pharisees, now Rabbis, to pretend that these new regulations were from Moses. (They were not.) And it incentivized the craft of “proving” that the new laws — entirely developed by rabbis/lawyers —were in fact based on so-called proof texts in the Torah.
I put “proving” in quotes, because, in fact, Talmudic proofs are much more entertaining than logical. Proof texts are cited that do not say what they are purported to say. Inapt analogies abound, along with numerological arguments (gematria) that prove nothing. And I have found cases where, when the numbers don’t work out, the advocate will use a different grammatical form of the Hebrew word, changing its spelling and number.
All this legal legerdemain underscores what was really happening: The Jewish people, using a variety of devices, created the illusion that the Talmud was from Sinai, when, in fact, it (like the written Torah itself) was an invention of the Jewish people themselves.
Rabbinic Judaism was difficult, scholarly, technical, perpetually subject to dispute. So, therefore, it engendered many anti-Talmud, anti-intellectual reactions. The first major rebellion was Christianity, a gentile adaptation of Galilean Judaism. There were also the Karaites who doubted the provenance of the Talmud. Later the mystics rebelled, elevating feelings above arcane regulations: cabalists and Chassidim.
At the end of the 18th century, the founders of Reform Judaism finally had the nerve to propose the formal acceptance of Maimonides’ bold idea from centuries before—that all Torah sentences with “God” in them must be understood figuratively, not literally. That the answers to our ethical questions “are not in heaven,” but in our own imagination and reasoning. Abraham Geiger’s position was that Reform Judaism was not a rejection of anything but rather a continuation of the Pharisaic process of inventing new Torah.
As I see it, the next major step in the emancipation that began in Egypt is to destroy the most enthralling of all the idolatries: Superstition, specifically–
- Belief in the existence of things that do not exist.
- Belief in the actuality of events that never occurred.
- Belief in causal connections that do not obtain.
What all these superstitions have in common is their reliance on faith, that is, acceptance of claims for which there is no evidence (like the existence of the afterlife) or for which there is abundant evidence to the contrary (like the belief that the world is less than 6,000 years old). Such superstitions imprison the minds of billions of people today. They cause poverty, they fuel wars, they threaten the survival of a livable earth.
My current belief is that, in the absence of superstition, we all can distinguish fact from fiction and live in a world of what is known. There are no secrets being kept from us and no mysterious forces guiding our destinies. In principle, we can continue to learn and understand more in each generation, gradually accumulating pieces of knowledge — but only through science and thoughtful analysis. (Epiphanies are interesting but not dispositive.) We do not need more than this to be filled with awe and gratitude —and freed from our Egyptian beginnings.
The post Phasing Out Faith: The Exodus Continues appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
Oh my gosh, I am beside myself with grief and joy!!
I just viewed a video — very moving — about the Holocaust. A topic I NEVER ever allow myself to watch or read about — my stomach and kishkas — just can’t take it.
I avoid anything on the topic. I even refused to see Schindler’s list. What possessed me to click on this particular video, I have no idea. I just had an overwhelming curiosity that I should click on this video. Why? Ich veist nisht!!
I watched, and cried, and my stomach was in knots, and then, when over, I read the synopsis beneath, and that’s when I lost it completely.
Toward the end of the commentary it said, “In May, 1945, Rabbi Eliezer Silver from the United States and Dayan Grunfeld from England were sent as chaplains to liberate some of the death camps.
While there, they were told that many Jewish children had been placed in a monastery in Alsace-Lorraine. The rabbis went there to reclaim them, but, when the chaplains arrived at the monasteries and other orphanages, they were told there were NO Jewish children there.
Later, while the children were getting ready for bed, chaplains began singing “Shema Yisrael,” within moments, many of the children who had been so trained in “Our Father” — hearing the chaplains tune – chimed in, singing the bedtime Shema!
It was now perfectly clear who the Jewish kids were!
As miraculous as that event was, a similar miraculous event occurred some 60 years later!
I was the chaplain in a particular secular nursing home. I was vising a Jewish resident who was anxious and concerned — anticipating a forthcoming meeting with a social worker. Before she left for her meeting, she and I did what we usually did. I would say a mi sheibeirach for her and she would sing the one song she knew, the Shema.
She leaves the room, and I follow, but her roommate stops me. I had noticed that above the bed of this resident hangs a cross, and she has a bible on her nightstand. As a chaplain, I am perfectly comfortable supporting anyone of any background, so I didn’t give it a thought when she asked me to go over to her.
I introduce myself as Rabbi Laurie, to clear up any question regarding my faith.
She responded — in her very European accent (Russian? German?) I had no idea. But what she shared with me, brought me to tears.
She tells me that when she heard her roommate sing THAT song (the Shema) it stirred memories in her that she had not recalled in 60 years.
The tune and the words were familiar to her, but she couldn’t remember why!
As we spoke, I encouraged her to think back and recall WHY she knew that song.
Little by little, slowly memories flooded back into her consciousness. She kept repeating she had not thought of these thoughts for so long and as she remembered more of her young childhood, she recalled the Jewish life she once had.
She asked me to take down the small cross from above her bed and to please put the bible in a drawer.
This was not the end of her Epiphany. No, not at all. That day, and several after, we “schmoozed” about all things Jewish.
Shortly after that day, that day she realized SHE had been Jewish, now realized, being in an orphanage, she did what was expected of her. She remained there for several years and I suppose brainwashing the young minds was relatively easy. Removed from everyone and everything they knew, they fell in step with the “rules.”
The Shema, so deeply imbedded in the mind and heart, clicked in her and brought her back to her Judaism.
She asked of me if there was a Jewish nursing home in the area and if so, could she go there.
I happily spoke to the administrator of that Jewish nursing home, and yes, they had room!
The chaplain’s story attached to this video was just like mine!!
All is bashert!
The power of Shema Yisroel.
Click here to watch that powerful video, with commentary included beneath the video.
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“The Lord called to Moses and spoke to him from the tent of meeting, saying…” (Lev 1:1)
God calls, but we don’t hear.
We, syllables of names that came
before. What starts
with a name is hide-
and-seek, call and response or
call with none. It’s a “Where areyou when your arms are tiedand your breath caught in thorns?”
Is it a call or a cry?
Even in the burning
bush, if you look, you can be found.
A call, your name,
a flutter in the heart.
God calls.
We are silent.
We say and we call.
God speaks. God calls.
We listen but don’t hear.
Light grows.
Leaves bend.
Wind blows, clouds move.
God calls.
God speaks. We
speak. We cry.
We call and God calls.
Redemption might come
if we could hear God
calling our names
home
to this,
here
a place
of meeting.
The post VaYikra appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Dr. Robin Plumer discusses Medical Assistance in Dying (MAID) in New Jersey. In 2020, Dr. Plumer started Compassionate Endings NJ, a practice devoted to MAID with a former nurse colleague who shares her passion for intensely personalized and comprehensive patient care.
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions.
Listen to the Audio PodcastYou can listen to the audio podcast version in the player below, or subscribe to the podcast in one of the popular platforms by clicking one of the buttons below the player.
- Apple Podcasts
- Google Podcasts
- Spotify
- Podchaser
- Stitcher About the GuestRobin Plumer DODr Robin Plumer practiced emergency medicine in New Jersey for over 30 years. In 2008 she moved to New Zealand, where she continued to work in emergency medicine, but she also pursued her interest in end of life care by working in several hospices and completing a postgraduate diploma in Hospice and Palliative Medicine at the University of Auckland.
In 2017 she returned to the US to help care for her father, who had Parkinson’s disease. She served in both inpatient and community hospice settings in New Jersey for 3 years.
Following the passage of NJ’s medical aid in dying (MAID) law in 2019, she pursued intensive study of the field by collaborating with experienced MAID clinicians in California, Washington state, and Oregon.
In July of 2020 she started a practice devoted to MAID with a former nurse colleague who shares her passion for intensely personalized and comprehensive patient care. Since starting their practice, they have attended many MAID deaths, and have become proficient in managing special situations for those patients who cannot swallow and require an alternative route for self administration of MAID medications.
Compassionate Endings NJ continues to encourage those in the medical community who wish to become involved in MAID by mentoring and teaching.
The post Seekers of Meaning 3/31/2023: Dr. Robin Plumer on Medical Assistance in Dying in New Jersey appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
In a few days I will be 78. I honestly don’t know how that happened. I was 50 just a few weeks ago!
According to the media, the medical establishment, and general opinion, I am OLD!
Or am I an “Elder?” Or perhaps a “Senior?”
It used to be I was a “Fuddy Duddy.” Worse, an “Old Bag.”
More poetically, a “Crone” or a “Hag.”
I could go on. You probably have heard worse.
But what does that mean, 78?
It’s a mathematical expression for how many times I have experienced the sun rising and setting. The number of years I have been on the Earth. The box I check when asked on certain forms the group I am in.
Lately, I find myself questioning the concept of “age.” It depends.
On the few days when my myriad of health issues take a back seat to a joyful feeling of “I am so lucky to be alive,” I am vibrant and looking
forward to the future. I get dressed, brush my teeth, comb my hair, look in the mirror and say “Hello, Carole. Isn’t it a beautiful day?” I am ageless.
More often than not, though, I drag myself out of bed, dreading the day, the pain and medications, doctor visits, and loneliness. I look in the mirror and turn quickly away, barely recognizing the reflection.
I am ancient.
A few months ago, after my near death heart failure and hospitalization, I woke up to see that my hair had turned white. Not a few strands. Not grey, white!
Who was this old woman?
My doctor told me that in her 31 years of practice she had seen this happen only one other time!
What now?
My first impulse was to order a box of hair color and proceed to return to “normal.”
I was a red head, originally naturally, and later, from the magic of Clairol.
I looked carefully in the mirror, trying to control my emotions and meet this stranger calmly. It was not easy. It was not pleasant. I could not decide how I felt about her. What I knew was that overnight, I had become “old”. My face was lined as before, my
eyes were still green. But I had “aged.” Time and health issues dictated my appearance. White hair was the final step. I took a few deep breaths and decided to give myself some time. A strange expression since I am running out of it.
It is now a few months later and my hair is still white. I have decided to keep it that way. Along the way, I have had to face some hard truths, some preconceived notions and some ageist remarks. I could never have imagined how the color of my hair could provide me with such life lessons!
I remember fondly my first real encounter with the concept of age. I was a student teacher, only 19 (I was on an accelerated college program that would allow me to graduate in 3 years) and teaching
summer school English in one of the toughest schools in the city. They were high school students, seniors with one last chance to graduate, and many of them as old as me. It was Eddie – tall, dark, handsome and a gang leader with a love of reading that he hid so as not to hurt his fierce
image, who was my instructor. One afternoon as the class filed out of the room he remained behind. He stood in front of me, respectfully, and quietly and seriously asked “Hey, teacher, want to go out to lunch with me and take a ride? I have a really nice car. Or we could go to a movie later.” I was caught off guard and tried quickly to calculate how best to handle this awkward situation. “Thank you, Eddie. What a nice offer, I said. But I am your teacher and it would not be appropriate.”
He looked back at me, puzzled. “Why not?” he replied. “If it’s about your age, age ain’t nothing but a number, baby.”
I will never forget that moment! I took a breath and did my best to say “no” without making him feel foolish or hurt. But his response still rings in my ears and has become a mantra of sorts for me over the years whenever I question my decision to do something because of my age.
Seventy-eight. It’s daunting! Almost unimaginable! And in my case, perhaps my last year. What do I do with it?
If things had gone as I had planned, I would be traveling the world. Perhaps taking a van and leisurely going across the country with Lovebug, my sweet cat, as my companion. I would write and photograph the people I met and places I had seen. It would be the adventure I had always dreamed of.
But it is not to be.
Instead, I find myself in poor health, limited in my ability to walk or get around, and tired long before the day is over.
I tell myself I am old. I have already outlived my friends. It is time to “age gracefully” and be careful to conserve what energy and physical ability I have left. Rewrite the expectations about the final chapter of my life. Accept my limitations and do the best I can with what I have. It is not a pretty picture or a good story.
Or I can tell myself “age ain’t nothing but a number.” I still have an active imagination, a good mind, a thirst to learn more. A desire to see
the things I planned to see and meet new people. And, with modern technology I can do that. My computer can take me on trips around the world, virtually. I can take classes and attend seminars online on anything that interests me. I can chat and Zoom with new friends I have made on line and through my posts. And I can write.
My mind is not old! It is ageless. And for as long as it stays that way, my spirit is ageless too.
The post On Being “Old” appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
I am a fan of stories: Books, movies, TV, theater, and yours. I believe we all have a story to tell that is unique, very personal, belonging to you as a one-of-a-kind individual in this huge world. Each person is distinctive, as is your story.
Have you ever wondered how your story took its shape? How did you get here? Here being a place you never could have imagined possible; Good/bad or indifferent. But here is where you are.
If you are a deep thinker or have lots of time on your hands, you may dwell on the place you have arrived with thoughts of the past and what twists and turns pushed you forward. Formulating questions about the who’s that influenced you, the what experiences that helped make your choices, the where’s you have been, the when’s of your timing and the why’s of your decisions, could be a project to tackle for a lifetime. As each day passes, no matter how old you are, it’s not unusual to ask yourself these questions.
But do the answers matter? Does anyone want to spend so much time fine-tooth-combing their life? Only each of you can answer these questions.
If these questions are important, it might be a fun time to read/reread Dr. Seuss book’s, Oh, the Places You’ll Go! and You’re Only Old Once!
Oh, The Places You’ll Go! can remind you if there was one experience, apparent or unapparent, that turned the future on a path you didn’t see coming because your actions and/or reactions came from that event. Did this one happening make you lost or ground you? Did you have to invent a new “me” to get through something that crushed your spirit or were tools available to move on in spite of it?
Being lost or not true to your identity is not exclusive to being young. But young people have more time to find their best selves whereas older folks may feel time is running out and being the best version of oneself doesn’t matterbecause at this point in life I am who I am.
You’re Only Old Once can reflect that you have more time when you’re younger to find your true self. Can older people let go of the younger angst and then reveal the real “me?” Or does the who, the what, the where, the why and the how continue to hold your personal baggage hostage so others have a mere perception of the who that morphed over the years? Is there courage enough to strip away the façade that has created the stranger in the mirror? Everyone wants to fit in their real skin, be authentic and appreciated for their story.
Hopefully, the answers you find can put your life in a peaceful perspective and with any luck you won’t beat yourself up for the wrong turns while just learning more about this unique journey of life.
Dr. Seuss had a strong message of accepting challenges and failures as a learning tool, embracing new opportunities without fear, being open minded to move out of your comfort zone and using your power of decision making in everything you do.
His stories also expressed how wonderful life can be when you’re aware of joy, gratitude, kindness and ambition. How did any of these qualities affect the who you are? Was it one person or experience?
The places you’ll go/went and *you’re only young/old* once are great experiences to share with family and loved ones so your story is understood, valued, respected and known distinctively as yours. Stories are to be shared.
How about telling yours today?
The post Dr. Seuss Said: Oh, The Places You’ll Go! appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Mary Naylor, PhD, RN, FAAN, the Marian S. Ware Professor in Gerontology at the University of Pennsylvania School of Nursing and director of the NewCourtland Center for Transitions and Health discusses the nursing school’s Caregiving Now initiative in partnership with NewCourtland.
The Caregiving NOW Initiative builds on the work of the NewCourtland Center members in partnership with leaders and staff at NewCourtland to create a roadmap that will offer short- and longer-term solutions to enhance the well-being of all caregivers in the U.S.
NewCourtland provides Philadelphia’s seniors with an array of medical, social and support services that help them live as independently as possible for as long as possible.
For more than 150 years, NewCourtland has been there to meet seniors’ individual and changing needs with well-trained and motivated staff who understand, respect and value the rich life experience of the people in our care.
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions.
Listen to the Audio PodcastYou can listen to the audio podcast version in the player below, or subscribe to the podcast in one of the popular platforms by clicking one of the buttons below the player.
- Apple Podcasts
- Google Podcasts
- Spotify
- Podchaser
- Stitcher About the GuestMary D. Naylor, PhD, RN, FAANMarian S. Ware Professor in Gerontology, University of Pennsylvania School of NursingDirector of the NewCourtland Center for Transitions and HealthMary Naylor is a pioneer in the design, evaluation, and spread of health care innovations that have significantly improved the outcomes of chronically ill older adults and their family caregivers, while reducing health care costs. In collaboration with a multidisciplinary team of clinical scholars and health services researchers, her work has resulted in the Transitional Care Model, a cost-effective advanced practice nurse-led model to improve the transitions of older adults who are navigating complex and often fragmented systems of care.
Initially, her team’s efforts were focused on the transitions of older adults from hospitals to home. More recently, they have extended their work to prevent avoidable hospitalizations among older adults living in their communities. This evidence-based solution has not only demonstrated better care but also has improved older adults’ functional status and quality of life. Dr. Naylor has demonstrated how knowledge generated from her research can be used to address the broader challenges associated with chronic illness, the endemic problem of this century.
Dr. Naylor has worked tirelessly to advocate for evidence-based changes in health care practices and policies across the globe. As a member of the Medicare Payment Advisory Commission, for example, Dr. Naylor advised the U.S. Congress on policies designed to offer a more promising future for Medicare beneficiaries. As a result, the use of evidence-based transitional care is now included in multiple policies designed to foster health care delivery and payment reforms, including several provisions of the 2010 Affordable Care Act.
The post Seekers of Meaning 3/24/2023: Mary Naylor, NewCourtland Center for Transitions and Health appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
In our life, we are called by many names, and we are called in many ways by many things. This week’s portion begins the book of Leviticus and has God calling to Moses. He is being called to the service of the Sanctuary. No doubt, those of you who will attend a Torah study this Shabbat will discuss what it means to be “called” by God or some cause. As I was looking at this passage, however, I began to see in it another glimpse into what many may be feeling, and I began to look at a different way of what a “call” could mean.
Often, a call impels us to go out and do something. It is often outer directed. Much of the portions is a set of instruction on how to do the sacrifices. In a commentary on this portion, Rabbi Shoshonah Gelfand notes that the word for sacrifice in Hebrew has a three-letter root that means “to draw near”. (“The Woman’s Torah Commentary”. Jewish Lights. P. 187). As we get older and have the courage to reflect on where we have come from, we also are called to reflect on where we wish to go. Many people get stuck in a sort of status quo, using age as a rationale to stop growing. But just consider that a possible “call” from the portion is to draw near to our own soul and not be afraid to dream, plan and create a new self.
We live in such a world of anxiety and fear. We are emerging from Covid and the state of the world around us is, at best, challenging. There is a real desire for some to “circle the wagons”, so to speak, and try and shut out the noise of the outside world. To a point, we may all do that at times. However, the world and life continue to move forward. Maybe Leviticus 1 is about listening to and responding to this “call” to shed what was and to not fear to consider what changes in our own self we need to make to best live in this new world. Rabbi Abraham Twerski in his “Living Each Week”, compares this chapter and this “call” to how some animals shed their outer skin as they grow. “This phenomenon has its counterpart in the nature of the human being. Sometimes the discomfort and distress one experiences is an indication that ne has reached a stage where additional growth is required and that one must eliminate those factors that impede one’s spiritual growth.” Twerski goes on to add that many who feel psychological or even physical discomfort may not be dealing with illness but “it may also be true that the discomfort is a sign of health rather than disease and that it indicates a need for growth rather than for treatment.” (p.200)
So, this Shabbat, ask yourself how you may be being called, and if you are feeling uneasy with how you are living is really a call to shed what is and move to what can be.
Shabbat shalom.
Rabbi Richard F. Address
The post Vayikra (Leviticus 1:1-5:26) The Torah’s Call To Grow appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Rabbi Daniel Roberts and Melinda Moore discuss post-traumatic growth, including a conversation about their book collaborations, The Suicide Funeral (or Memorial Service): Honoring their Memory, Comforting their Survivors and After the Suicide Funeral: Wisdom on the Path to Posttraumatic Growth.
To our knowledge nothing with The Suicide Funeral (or Memorial Service): Honoring Their Memory, Comforting Their Survivors’ scope and depth has ever been published. This is an aid to anyone who will be called upon to do a funeral for the nearly 43,000 suicides in America each year. This book is designed to assist clergy, chaplains, and other faith leaders as they develop sermons and homilies for a funeral service. Its mandate is to help those searching for inspiration even though they may feel confused or uncertain undertaking such a daunting assignment. Those who plan and lead a funeral service may enable family and friends to understand and participate intentionally in their grief process. Clergy can have a significant impact on how people react to the suicide as well as provide comfort and assistance to those left behind on their journey through grief. Your leadership will influence how the suicide’s bereaved are treated by others in the days, weeks, and months following the death. Because suicide does not discriminate by race, socio-economic status, or religion, a broad range of faiths and denominations are represented in this book’s sermons, services, and perspectives.
After the Suicide Funeral: Wisdom on the Path to Posttraumatic Growth references the long and painful journey of bereavement that many suicide-loss-survivors experience in the wake of losing their loved one. A new area of positive psychology offers another vehicle for understanding the consequences of this experience by investigating the possibilities for personal growth within the context of this distressing and traumatic event. There is much to be mined by exploring faith as both a facilitator of growth and an outcome of growth. The contributors to this book are all suicide bereaved and have written short essays about how faith changed and grew as they traversed their journey of bereavement and also buoyed them in their darkest time of loss. Contributors are faith leaders, mental health professionals, caring survivors, and leaders in the fields of suicidology, thanatology, and bereavement. A must-read for any survivor of suicide loss.
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions.
Listen to the Audio PodcastYou can listen to the audio podcast version in the player below, or subscribe to the podcast in one of the popular platforms by clicking one of the buttons below the player.
- Apple Podcasts
- Google Podcasts
- Spotify
- Podchaser
- Stitcher About the GuestsDaniel A. Roberts (D.D., D. Div., F.T. USN)Rabbi Roberts is rabbi emeritus of Temple Emanu El, Cleveland, Ohio, where he served for over thirty-five years. He is also a Fellow in Thanatology as certified by the Association of Death Education and Counseling and has done extensive work on bereavement and mourning. Rabbi Roberts has produced a video on teenage suicide entitled Inside I Ache that has had national distribution. Rabbi Roberts is the author of a book on Clergy Retirement: Every Ending a New Beginning (Wipf & Stock Publishing) and is a co-editor with Melinda Moore of The Suicide Funeral (or Memorial Service): Honoring their Memory, Comforting their Survivors (Wipf & Stock Publishing) and After the Suicide Funeral: Wisdom on the Path to Posttraumatic Growth, (Wipf & Stock Publishing) and Once Upon a Kingdom: Parables of Morals, Values and Kindness, (Temple Emanu El Publishing)
Rabbi Roberts and his wife and actress, Elaine Rembrandt, are currently living at the Balfour at Riverfront Park in Denver, CO.
Dr. Melinda MooreMelinda Moore is a Licensed Psychologist and Assistant Professor in the Department of Psychology at Eastern Kentucky University. She holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology from The Catholic University of America, where she trained in the Collaborative Assessment and Management of Suicidality (CAMS) and conducted research on CAMS. She regularly trains clinicians in CAMS, as well as advocates on behalf of suicide prevention in her role as chair of the Kentucky Suicide Prevention Group, Inc., a statewide suicide prevention nonprofit. She has conducted military suicide bereavement research at the University of Kentucky and suicide treatment research at the Robley Rex Veterans Affairs Medical Center in Louisville. Her interest in Posttraumatic Growth emerged from her own experience with suicide and the changes that experience created within her allowing for her current career path and personal interests and relationships.
The post Seekers of Meaning 3/17/2023: Rabbi Daniel Roberts and Melinda Moore, Discussing Books on the Trauma of Suicide appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
Davar Vayakhel-Pekude 5783
Saturday, March 18, 2023
The Kotzke Rebbe taught that G-d dwells wherever we let G-d in. Yet, this week’s parsha appears to end with a contradictory metaphor. The Chabad.org translation of the last verses in Exodus 40 is: “(33) He [Moses] set up the courtyard all around the Mishkan and the altar, and he put up the screen at the entrance to the courtyard; and Moses completed the work. (34) And the cloud covered the Tent of Meeting and the glory of the Lord filled the Mishkan. 35) Moses could not enter the Tent of Meeting because the cloud rested upon it and the glory of the Lord filled the Mishkan.”
G-d dwells wherever we let G-d in, but is it possible that G-d may not let us in a space where G-d dwells? The psalms echo our yearning to dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of our lives, especially Psalm 23, Verse 6.
Clouds are a magnificent metaphor because now, thousands of years later, we know that we can fly through clouds. The horizontal metaphor G-d in religion is that G-d is up there as an old man in a cloud and we are down here is for cartoons and fairy tales.
The “Charlie Brown Rain Cloud Effect” derives from “the metaphor of Charlie Brown, the Charles Schulz comic strip character, who seems to always travel with a rain cloud permanently hovering atop him” and has become a legal principle explained by Robert Caplan in the Capital University Law Review, August 24, 2010.
Joni Mitchell wrote “Both Sides Now” in 1966 and included the poignant “So many things I would have done / But clouds got in my way” and “It’s cloud illusions I recall / I really don’t know clouds at all.”
If G-d is telling us that we are b’tzelem elohim, in G-d’s image, and G-d sometimes needs space and yet it is all good, then perhaps we need to have the confidence that G-d might not always have us in the same space with G-d, and yet it is all good, that G-d’s presence is still among us.
JTS Rabbinic Student Rami Schwartzer (now a Conservative Rabbi) pondered this question in a post on Pekudei on March 11, 2016 for the Jewish Theological Seminary. [Now] Rabbi Schwartzer first quotes Nachmanides’ self-admittedly inadequate explanation that Moses could not enter without permission, “But if God were to call him, then he may come into the cloud just like he did on Mount Sinai.” Rabbi Schwartzer goes on to pose his own hypothesis: “God simply was not ready.” Hence, Pekudei is followed by the opening of Leviticus with Vayikra, “and He [G-d] called Moses inside.”
It is akin to the title of Rabbi Lawrence Kushner’s autobiography: I’m G-d; You’re Not.
As a chaplain, how often have families challenged me at the most stressful moments with variations of where is G-d and why is G-d doing this to us now? Perhaps at these moments it is better to let G-d have a little distance, let the melachim, G-d’s angels as chaplains, friends, and family, do more of the heavy lifting. G-d will be closer again when G-d and we are ready.
This parsha comes just a few weeks after Purim, where G-d’s presence is not overtly in the Megillah, where more of the heavy lifting is done by the actors in the story, and yet we know G-d is probably somewhere behind the scenes and we will be closer again.
This parsha also comes this year one day before the yahrzeit for my first wife (Z”L). Perhaps HaShem could not be closer at the time of that loss because of the need for others to teach me that their presence might be just as powerful.
I believe it was Rabbi Hayim Donin in To Raise a Jewish Child who offers an explanation of why a parent needs to teach a child to swim: so that the child learns how to survive in a hostile environment (i.e., water over your head) and the parents learn when to hold on and when to let go.
Perhaps we are seeing the same in this strange metaphor at the end of Exodus 40: there are times when G-d or your parents is not holding on tightly but the presence is nearby and let that be reassuring.
The post What’s your special cloud? appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
I had originally intended this poem for an audience of one. While working for Princeton Hospice, the husband of one of the nurses died and so I tailored this specifically to her. It was only later that I added it to my collection of readings related to bereavement, and so once in a while I have used it as a meditation before the Mourner’s Kaddish or at a funeral. Being published here in Jewish Sacred Aging, it now has an even broader scope. I not only encourage others to use it but would be honored as well.
These days
May the Angel of Solace be beside you
Every time you wake.
And the warming touch of friends and family
Sustain you as nightfall approaches.
May the bittersweet release of
Fear, anger, sadness and gratitude
Reassemble the scattered shards of your soul.
The post Griever appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Eileen Levinson discusses her websites Haggadot.com, where visitors can create customized siddurim for Passover observances, and ReCustom.com, where users can create other personalized life-cycle observance rituals.
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions.
Listen to the Audio PodcastYou can listen to the audio podcast version in the player below, or subscribe to the podcast in one of the popular platforms by clicking one of the buttons below the player.
- Apple Podcasts
- Google Podcasts
- Spotify
- Podchaser
- Stitcher About the GuestEileen LevinsonEileen Levinson is the Founder & Creative Director of Custom & Craft, a Los Angeles-based design studio & media lab that imagines new formats for engaging in ancient community traditions. In 2011, Eileen founded the website, Haggadot.com, which has helped over half a million Jews around the world exchange & personalize their Passover Haggadah. The website has been featured in The Wall Street Journal, USA Today, Ha’aretz, The Huffington Post, The Jerusalem Post, and on NPR’s All Things Considered.
In addition to her projects within the Jewish community, Eileen served as Creative Director and helped launch Kin Community, a women’s-focused multi-platform network, from the brand’s launch in 2011 until summer 2015.
Eileen has an MFA from the program in Graphic Design at CalArts, and a BA (magna cum laude) from Washington University in St. Louis.
The post Seekers of Meaning 3/10/2023: Eileen Levinson, founder of Haggadot.com and ReCustom.com appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
I’m about to turn 80 years old on May 5, 2023. I speak, coach and write about Adventurous Aging – how to live life’s final decades as the best stage of our Earthly journey. Hey, I’m a role model and poster boy of defying the aging process, and the one who considers age to be merely a number, not a guilty verdict.
Yet, I’ve been uneasily thinking that age 80+ is culturally considered to be undeniably old age – when we expect physical and mental deteriorating. Is this what awaits me too? I made it through my 60s and 70s by not looking, feeling and acting old. But will that continue as I head into my 80s?
Being positive, optimistic and a bit of a rebel, I was determined to reject this downhill fate, and instead come up with an alternative intention! How could I reframe my 80s and beyond in an uplifting and empowering way? And avoid what I believe: Thinking too much about aging ages us.
Upon reflection, I realized that my ninth decade gives me the opportunity to benefit from a new identity and role: The Extraordinary Elder. Here I make a distinction between an older person who reaches an advanced age (The Ordinary Elder), and one who is able and eager to contribute to enhancing a critical aspect of society (The Extraordinary Elder).
The concept of the elder has been respected and valued in virtually all societies worldwide and throughout history. But not so in America and the West in the past 100 or so years – where elders now face prejudice, discrimination and abuse.
My personal Extraordinary Elder identity is based upon my experience, expertise and wisdom. I’ve realized that it includes the 4Cs:
- Consciousness – the deeper awareness of the invisible energy of spirituality, which uplifts and expanding living.
- Creativity – the renewing activity of living life as an in-process work of art, and making it a masterpiece.
- Connection – the sharing and support that comes from nurturing relationships with a community, friends, family and life partner.
- Contribution – the manifesting a life mission that benefits individuals, groups, society and the planet.
With this inspiring insight concerning my identity and life mission, my body has regained vitality and my mind direction. I have recommitted to helping people heal and grow, especially those over age 60.
My approach to stimulating seniors’ joy, insight and energy involves these two steps:
- In my one-person musical/inspirational show, The Larry Show on Adventurous Aging (TheLarryShow.com), I share my ups-and-downs story, with its Stage 3 years (life after 60) demonstrating and celebrating my Adventurous Aging perspective, strategy and results – more wellness, passion, purpose, relationships, spirituality and fulfillment.
- At the end of the show, I invite audience members, especially those over 60 to chat with me after the show or thereafter about how their life is going, and how Adventurous Aging might benefit them.
While I now accept that I am entering my 80s, I’m also working on seeing myself as ageless. I want to maximize by lifespan (longevity) by optimizing my healthspan (nearly or actually disease free). People’s healthspan ends seven years on the average before their lifespan expires (death).
By living our advanced years as a series of self-empowering adventures, I believe we can aspire to and achieve excellent holistic wellbeing. And thrive in this blissful state up to our final day on Earth. To make that happen for more people, the health sciences are researching how to strengthen our physical, mental and emotional aspects, while thought leaders are sharing about our spiritual dimension.
The prospect is for more of us to live our final decades as our best life yet – with individual fulfillment and social contribution!
For a fuller description of Adventurous Aging, see Larry’s Facebook.com posts on Adventurous Aging; to discuss this method with him, contact larryros@gmail.com.
The post Happily Turning 80 as an Extraordinary Elder appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, author Stephen G. Post, Ph.D., discusses his books, Dignity for Deeply Forgetful People: How Caregivers Can Meet the Challenges of Alzheimer’s Disease and God and Love on Route 80: The Hidden Mystery of Human Connectedness.
How do we approach a “deeply forgetful” loved one so as to notice and affirm their continuing self-identity? For three decades, Stephen G. Post has worked around the world encouraging caregivers to become more aware of—and find renewed hope in—surprising expressions of selfhood despite the challenges of cognitive decline.
In this book, Post offers new perspectives on the worth and dignity of people with Alzheimer’s and related disorders despite the negative influence of “hypercognitive” values that place an ethically unacceptable emphasis on human dignity as based on linear rationality and strength of memory. This bias, Post argues, is responsible for the abusive exclusion of this population from our shared humanity. With vignettes and narratives, he argues for a deeper dignity grounded in consciousness, emotional presence, creativity, interdependence, music, and a self that is not “gone” but “differently abled.”
Stephen G. Post was the perfect child and A-student until he took off in the family car, compelled by a persistent vision, his “blue angel dream.” Crossing America on Route 80, his unlikely adventure culminates in a shocking encounter that sets the stage for the rest of his life, a path connected by synchronicities which Post perceived as guidance from God and proof of humanity’s fundamental oneness, Infinite Mind. Truly a story for the ages, God and Love on Route 80 touches on the essential meaning of life and the messages we may all miss unless we begin paying close attention.
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions.
Listen to the Audio PodcastYou can listen to the audio podcast version in the player below, or subscribe to the podcast in one of the popular platforms by clicking one of the buttons below the player.
- Apple Podcasts
- Google Podcasts
- Spotify
- Podchaser
- Stitcher About the GuestStephen G. Post, Ph.D.Stephen G. Post, Ph.D., is internationally recognized for his work with deeply forgetful people, their families and allied organizations. His book The Moral Challenge of Alzheimer’s Disease: Ethical Issues from Diagnosis to Dying (Johns Hopkins University Press, 2000) was designated a “medical classic of the century” by the British Medical Journal. His research on the dynamics of compassionate care in the lives of persons with dementia and their caregivers resulted in his being elected a member of the Medical and Scientific Advisory Board of Alzheimer’s Disease International. He is also one of only several recipients of the Alzheimer’s Association national distinguished service award “in recognition of personal and professional outreach to the Alzheimer’s Association Chapters on ethics issues important to people with Alzheimer’s and their families.”
Post began his work with “deeply forgetful people” while in Cleveland where he served as a professor at the Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine (1988–2008). He has published widely on dignity, ethics, and spirituality of caregiving, and he has been quoted in more than 3000 international newspapers and magazines, including The New York Times, Parade Magazine, O, The Oprah Magazine, and many TV programs including The Daily Show. Post is the author of 300 articles in premier journals such as Science, the New England Journal of Medicine, Psychosomatic Medicine, Hospital Pediatrics, Journal of the American Academy of Religion, and the Journal of the American Medical Association. The author of several books including the bestselling Why Good Things Happen to Good People (Random House), Post’s most recent book, published by the Johns Hopkins University Press (2022) is Dignity for Deeply Forgetful People: How Caregivers Can Meet the Challenges of Alzheimer’s Disease. He offers insights and perspectives that encourage us all to recognize the continuing self-identity and dignity of affected individuals and their caregivers.
A graduate of the University of Chicago with training in psychology, world religions, and ethics, Post is renowned for his work on compassionate care at the interface of science, ethics, spiritual thought, and behavioral medicine. He is the President of the Institute for Research on Unlimited Love, which he co-founded with philanthropist Sir John Templeton, who personally selected Post as President in 2001. He is also founding director of the Center for Medical Humanities, Compassionate Care, and Bioethics at Stony Brook University School of Medicine in New York (2008–present), where he also serves as Professor of Family, Population, and Preventative Medicine and Head of the Division of Medicine in Society.
Post served as a co-chair of the United Nations Population Fund conference on spirituality and global transformation. He is an elected member of the College of Physicians of Philadelphia for “distinguished contributions to medicine,” the New York Academy of Medicine, and the Royal Society of Medicine, London.
An opinion leader and public speaker, Post served on the Board of the John Templeton Foundation (2008–2014), which focuses on virtue and public life. A leader in research on the benefits of giving and on compassionate care in relation to improved patient outcomes and clinician well-being, Post addressed the U.S. Congress on volunteerism and health, receiving the Congressional Certificate of Special Recognition for Outstanding Achievement. Post was co-recipient (2012) with Edmund D. Pellegrino MD of the Pioneer Medal for Outstanding Leadership in HealthCare from the HealthCare Chaplaincy Network, and the Kama Book Award in Medical Humanities from World Literacy Canada (2008). Co-Recipient of the 2019 National Alpha Omega Alpha Honor Medical Society Professionalism Award for development of the Professional Identity Formation curriculum at the School of Medicine, at Stony Brook (2008–present), where his Center for Medical Humanities, Compassionate Care, and Bioethics, “a place where the human side of medicine is elevated, examined and revered,” was selected (2011) for special institutional excellence by the Liaison Committee on Medical Education (AMA & AAMC accrediting body), the only humanities and ethics entity in American medical school history to receive this distinction.
A recipient of the National Endowment for the Humanities “top public speaker” award, Post uses a highly engaging style with a mix of stories, clinical, and philosophical perspectives to inspire audiences. Dr. Post continues to travel the globe speaking about those with memory issues and sharing about the transformative benefits of kindness, volunteering, spirituality, forgiveness and purpose.
The post Seekers of Meaning 3/3/2023: Dr. Stephen Post, Author of God and Love on Route 80 appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
Are we still alive and well or has the iconic symbol/basic theory of being a mother who was Jewish, who had Jewish children and had the G-d given right to live, enact, depict and achieve all the Jewish Mother rituals a thing of the past? Has the 21 century turned a Jewish Mother into a canceled culture?
As in the past generations, when our children became parents, they most likely vowed to never “Lay the Jewish guilt trips” on their kids!
-“It’s okay, I’ll sit in the dark until you can come over and change the light
bulb.”
-“No, you go play cards, I’ll walk through the snow with my pushcart to the supermarket!”
-“What do you mean you want to get your own apartment? Suddenly this home isn’t good enough for you?”
-“I didn’t say the new red dress didn’t look good on you, I just said the blue one makes you look thinner!”
Maybe exaggerated a bit and maybe the attitude goes back a generation or two, but get the point?
As we all get woke, have there been new ways of instilling Jewish Guilt? How many times do we feel like “chopped liver” when our grandkids call and ask if they can cancel the plans we already had with them? Most of us say, “Of course, go be with your friends, but be sure to text me tomorrow and I’ll take you shopping for those new sneakers you want!”
The innocent, or not, installer of guilt often tries to be endearing to control the power with clever words or promises so the recipient has a feeling of remorse, the point! When you’re in the driver’s seat, there is the ability to navigate your most inner needs in such an innocuous way so the receiver is beholden to you, the point! Often responses come out of one’s mouth with no idea that the “guilt trip” has been mapped and that someone has been left to feel lousy. Another point! And yet, it is possible that because of family history, customs and what one thinks is normal, a reply may just be blurted out without realizing the consequences are Jewish Guilt!
I do believe because many of our grandkids didn’t know our grandparents, (Holocaust survivors, European and Eastern European born) where an entire treasure of Jewish culture was created but soon will be forgotten Though good or bad, it is a unique cache of precious Jewish folklore . When was the last time you heard the phrase, “The Jewish Princess?” It had its connotation/stereotype back in the day, but today it would be a definite derogatory reference to the “other,” something we want to stop referencing.
As in the Jewish Mother, The Jewish Princess, The Jews, LGBTQ, Blacks, Asians, and more, along with differencing views on politics, gun violence and what some think should be cultural norms, society is separating people into categories of differences/similarities as labels of identification. The more we point out the other, the more we distinguish the differences rather than embrace the similarities as humans.
Othering distinguishes or puts people in groups that are not fitting into their perception of what society should be. It creates concepts and influences people to treat those who are viewed as different in a negative light. It’s a definite distinction of the “in-group” and the “out-group.” It negates groups of their cultural heritage, humanity, respect and dignity. How do we stop the violence and dehumanizing entire cultures of people and only see US as human beings who have the rights of all peoples on this planet? When will it be a collective US and not the act of separating into others?
As baby boomers, we have our memories of the past, good and bad, as we try to reconcile our family behaviors, good and bad. But what do we do about NOW, how do we make life better for our kids and grandkids amongst all the decisiveness? It seems there is more to cancel in our culture today than in the past. Jewish Mothers had their shtick but most of us wouldn’t want to trade them for they instilled Jewish culture in a way no one else has done, good or bad. But in contrast to what some are stigmatizing today, the consequences have a more harsh and deeper outcome.
This might be a good day to have that conversation with grandkids and share what was the Jewish Mother concept and ask them to share their view of the other. Discussing the differences and similarities can help to bridge a gap and bring a clarity of how much each generation has its own dilemmas to deal with. Sharing the stories of our personal struggles may help young people know there is Nothing New Under the Sun. Only the lingo has changed.
The lesson I hope we glean, is that open dialogue with sharing stories can help to incorporate differences and similarities for the sake of learning so every day is a better/woke/enlightened day.
The post Where Have All the Jewish Mothers Gone? appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
“Your disease is progressive and incurable, Carole”.
The man in the mask spoke without any emotion. He rolled back his chair. “I want to see you again in about three weeks”. He stood up, opened the door and left.
My first thought…I wonder why?
I looked around the room. It was very small. Three hard backed chairs and his standard rolling one. An examination bed. A small desk up against the wall, the computer blinking, the screen blank. There was nothing on the walls which were painted a strange shade of beige.
I sat there for a few moments. The phrase “the silence was deafening” was my first thought. Slowly, I reached for my cane and stood up. It was as if I had entered another world.
The offices of the three man Neurology practice were housed in one of those now everywhere Medical Centers. Shopping — but nothing fun to buy. This one was a labyrinth. I followed the sign marked exit, walking past row after row of closed doors. How many patients could they possibly have, I wondered? Finally, a bit of daylight and a glass door that opened to the waiting room.
More of the same hard backed chairs. No magazines. No pictures on the walls. There were signs instructing everyone to wear a mask, a framed photo of the Medical Center and a receptionist area — a floor to ceiling glass enclosure with a small window that could be opened to allow human interaction. Two people sat, heads down as they looked at their phones, silent.
The receptionist was pleasant and helpful. She printed out what seemed to be far too many papers with information “to be read carefully,” and scheduled my next appointment. We chatted for a bit, talking about hairstyles (she had great hair, mine has mostly fallen out since the heart failure), the strange weather and our nominations for best bakery in the area. It felt as if I had exited hell and returned to earth without any noticeable means of transportation!
The car provided by the medical center (part of one of the largest hospitals in the state) arrived. We drove home, talking about our mutual love of the Jersey shore and fishing .
When we pulled up to the entrance to my apartment I froze for a minute. The walkway and stairs seemed insurmountable. I fumbled for my keys and opened the door. My sweet cat, Lovebug, was waiting for me, purring and rubbing against my leg.
I am a Solo Ager…no living family and, at almost 78, have outlived all of my wonderful circle of 6 friends. I love my apartment. It has a large, covered balcony that I call my Treehouse because it overlooks a wooded area with a walking trail, field and stream and abundant wildlife. It is very private and with a dining table and chairs, a reading nook with chaise lounge and plenty of space to spread out, it is my sanctuary almost year round.
It is a room with a view. But now it was different.
I stood there, alone, the only sounds the birds at the feeders chirping madly as they jockeyed for space. And I allowed myself, for the first time, to wonder what it will be like to die.
I have no timetable. Just the certainty that I will get sicker and will soon need to leave this place I have happily called home for more than 20 years. Assisted Living or something more structured.
I have two requirements. It must be a place where Lovebug can be with me. And it must have a Room With A View.
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We are so proud to announce the 2023 National Bikur Cholim conference that begins on March 13 and ends on June 5. Like the conferences in 2021 and 2022 this one will be held virtually on Monday nights. The conferences in 2021 and 2022 grappled with how to provide bikur cholim in the face of the tremendous challenges from the pandemic and were attended by over 400 people. Register here.
This year’s program will be on The Path to Healing in the Face of Bereavement and our keynote speaker is Dr. Pauline Boss who has written and studied loss and bereavement for decades. She created ambiguous loss as an area of study and her recent book The Myth of Closure: Ambiguous Loss in a Time of Pandemic and Change is a New York Times bestseller. https://www.ambiguousloss.com
We have a set of stellar speakers for the remainder of the program who will deal with how to dwell in loss, and find meaning and growth. They will address how do we deal with the losses of lives, relationships, opportunities, and other losses. What are our own expectations for healing? How can we be most present and supportive of those who are bereaved? And what should our expectations be on the path to healing?
| Date | Session Overview | | March 13 | Dr. Pauline Boss, Professor, University of Minnesota “False expectations: Ambiguous Loss and the Myth of Closure and Finding the Compassionate Path to Healing” | | March 27 | Rabbi Richard Address, Founder & Director, Jewish Sacred AgingRabbi Edythe Mencher “A Discussion of a New Theology of Loss” | | April 3 | Rabbi Nadya Gross and Zoe Francesca Goldblatt “The Path of the Death Doula and How that Guides Providing Comfort to the Bereaved” | | April 24 | Rabbi Judy Beiner Rabbi Shira Stern Rabbi Miriam Herscher “Companioning the Bereaved: Lessons from Bereavement Groups” | | May 15 | Rabbi Melanie Levav, Shomer Collective “Meaning Making & Loss: Can We Really Turn Mourning Into Dancing?” (Psalm 30) | | May 30 | Rabbinic Pastor Chaya Lerner “Bereavement in the Face of Disaster, Lessons from Surfside One Year Later” | | June 5 | Rabbi Norman Blumenthal, Ohel “The Long Journey to Recovery: Covid and Bereavement” |
We hope you can join us. The registration fees are modest and we provide scholarships as needed.
Here is information on the program:
Conference Program, Online Select Mondays March 13 – June 5, 2022
8:00pm – 9:30pm EDT • 5:00pm – 6:30pm PDT
For volunteers, social workers, chaplains and professionals who work
in the field of bikur cholim (visiting the sick) and the general public
$72 for the full conference program for 7 sessions;
$36 for 3 sessions;
$18 for a single session
— scholarships widely available —
All sessions will be recorded
Sponsored by Neshama: Association of Jewish Chaplains, Network of Jewish Human Service Agencies, Jewish Association for Death Education (JADE), Kavod v’Nichum, and Shomer Collective
Questions?
Program Questions: Contact David Balto at david.balto@dcantitrustlaw.com or 202-577-5424
Sponsorship and Registration Questions: Contact david.balto@dcantitrustlaw.com
For more information, such as upcoming sessions, please notice that we have a new website jewish-healing-center.org which has comprehensive resources on the Jewish perspective on healing and bikur cholim.
We hope you can attend.
The post Bikur Cholim 2023 Conference Scheduled appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Rabbi Jason Weiner, senior rabbi and director of the Spiritual Care Department at Cedars-Sinai Health System in Los Angeles, discusses his new book, Care and Covenant: A Jewish Bioethic of Responsibility.
Editor’s Note: On February 3, 2023, after this interview was recorded, Rabbi Weiner announced on Twitter that he was donating a kidney* to an unidentified patient. As of February 15, Rabbi Weiner tweeted that his recuperation from the donation surgery was going well.***
The Jewish tradition has important perspectives, history, and wisdom that can contribute significantly to crucial contemporary healthcare deliberations. Care and Covenant: A Jewish Bioethic of Responsibility demonstrates how numerous classic Jewish texts can add new ideas to the world of medicine today. Rabbi Jason Weiner draws on fifteen years of experience working in a hospital as a practitioner to develop an “ethic of responsibility.”
This book seeks to develop an approach to bioethical dilemmas that is primarily informed by personal and communal obligations as well as social responsibilities. Weiner applies unique and inspiring values found in Judaism to encourage healthcare providers to remain dedicated to preventing harm and providing care to all. Each chapter investigates relevant philosophical questions such as what the expectations of a society or government are and what we should do when our obligations to others violate our own moral principles, safety, or ability to assist.
Care and Covenant provides analytical, philosophical, and evidence-based scholarship to guide discussions on ethics in healthcare.
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
The Seekers of Meaning TV Show is also available on the J-Link video service from the Jewish Federation of Southern New Jersey. You can sign up for the service at https://www.jlink-snj.org/seekers-of-meaning
You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions.
Listen to the Audio PodcastYou can listen to the audio podcast version in the player below, or subscribe to the podcast in one of the popular platforms by clicking one of the buttons below the player.
- Apple Podcasts
- Google Podcasts
- Spotify
- Podchaser
- Stitcher About the GuestRabbi Jason WeinerRabbi Dr. Jason Weiner, BCC, serves as the senior rabbi and director of the Spiritual Care Department at Cedars-Sinai in Los Angeles, where he is responsible for the chaplaincy team and all aspects of spiritual care.
Rabbi Weiner previously served as the assistant rabbi at Young Israel of Century City. He has earned two rabbinic ordinations, as well as a doctorate in clinical bioethics from Loyola University (Chicago), where he also earned a master’s degree in bioethics and health policy, in addition to a master’s degree in Jewish history from Yeshiva University. Rabbi Weiner has completed four units of clinical pastoral education. He is a board-certified chaplain through Neshama: Association of Jewish Chaplains, and he sits on the association’s board.
Rabbi Weiner is a member of the executive committee of the Cedars-Sinai Bioethics Committee. He is past president of the Southern California Board of Rabbis and has been honored with Rabbinic Leadership Awards from the Orthodox Union and Chai Lifeline. Rabbi Weiner is also the rabbi of Knesset Israel Synagogue of Beverlywood, and he frequently serves as a scholar-in-residence at conferences and synagogues throughout the nation on topics related to Jewish medical ethics, pastoral care, health and wellness, and teaches hands-on Jewish medical ethics in the hospital to numerous Jewish high schools in Los Angeles.
He is the author of Jewish Guide to Practical Medical Decision-Making (Urim Press) and Guide to Observance of Jewish Law in a Hospital (Kodesh Press). He has published more than two dozen scholarly articles and book chapters, as well as several “popular” pieces.
The post Seekers of Meaning 2/24/2023: Rabbi Jason Weiner, author of Care and Covenant appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
Note from Rabbi Address:
This resource was originally shared with us in 2017. Because of the importance of this information and resource, we’re bumping it up as a new publication under our Kol Bo category.
Richard Conradi is a member of a congregation in London and has been working with his congregation and others regarding raising awareness of end of life planning from Jewish point of view and from laws of UK. He wrote this for Jewish Sacred Aging as a result of a session we did at the recent World Union for Progressive Judaism convention in Jerusalem, which looked at how congregations could adapt to the growing impact of the longevity revolution now being felt around the world.
An interesting issue is that the push to raise awareness of the need to “have the conversation” is really now part of a global effort.
Rabbi Address
I am Richard Conradi, a 75 year old male living in the UK. Five years ago, my brother Stephen was diagnosed with terminal bowel cancer at the age of 52. He was divorced and had two teen-age sons. I was in fact his adult next-of-kin and became his “Enduring Power of Attorney” legally to act for him when he was admitted to a hospice. When he died I was his executor and thus responsible for his funeral and obtaining probate. This task was all the more difficult as he had left it too late to give me all the information I needed for this task. And amongst other difficulties I could not get facebook to close his page as I could not demonstrate I had received his permission.
Then 4 years ago my younger sister Prudence [Prue] was diagnosed with terminal oesophageal cancer with 6 months to live at the age of 61. She had never been married, lived on her own and had had no children. Again I was her next-of-kin, later to become her Enduring Power of Attorney and then her executor. She decided she wanted to die at her home. During the time left to her and with the help of her friends and using her computer she wrote out for me all the information she knew I would need to arrange her funeral according to her wishes, and to settle her estate in accordance with her will.
I visited her regularly and each time we spoke about what she wanted me to do for her when she died. She had been a psychotherapist and this may be why she had no inhibitions about discussing her dying wishes with me.
It was 1st January 2013 and I sat on a chair next to her bed in her own bedroom and held her hand. She smiled at me, tightened her grip and said she was so pleased there was nothing more to discuss. She died a few hours later on January 2nd and I know she died in peace.
Next day I visited her home to pick up her computer and found on the screen an icon called “Loki”
- Loki was the name of her lovely but then ill cat. I clicked on the icon and found her instructions to me as to how to look after Loki – his medication, name of vet, food and when to feed him and names of friends who she thought might like to take Loki and look after
The information Prue had given me made the decisions I needed to take to arrange her funeral and to honour all her requests so much easier. These included who to tell she had died, type of coffin (I had got her a catalogue of coffins, at her request), who to lead the service, the music to be played, the people to give eulogies and where to scatter her ashes. And for the next year I had no problems whilst carrying out my duties as her executor which included selling her home and passing all her many possessions to the people she had listed. What Prue did was her gift to me.
So I decided to try to assist and encourage others to start thinking about their wishes for the end of their lives and to discuss these with their family, and not to wait until it was too late.
The heading of this article is taken from the Times, one of the most respected UK daily newspapers. I was aware of many articles published by Times journalists over a couple of years. Headings included
- Dying Wishes – We have to overcome our understandable reluctance to talk about death
- Lessons in life from the death of a loved one
- Taking steps to switch off your digital legacy smoothly
- Eulogies are too good to waste on the dead
- “I’m putting my affairs in order” by a quadriplegic journalist who writes a weekly article “Spinal Column” – she said she started to write down her wishes but got bored as she had no concept of what to include so she gave up!
- We all need to learn how to talk about death – It’s not just the importance of grieving that society has forgotten, there are practical skills that the bereaved need
- Facebook refuses to delete killer from victim’s page – the victim had never given his password to anyone.
I am the group leader for our synagogue’s bereavement support group, which received the “Queen’s Award for Voluntary Service” a few years ago, and am well aware of the difficulty the bereaved often have in finding all the information needed for the tax people, the lawyers and indeed for themselves. They will sometimes say that their loss has been made all the worse for the fact that their now dead relative would never tell them what they needed to know. I believe this is not just stupid but it is also selfish.
So I decided to create something that should overcome all these problems – broaching the subject, the reluctance of many people to talk to others about end-of-life – “I am only 50 – I don’t need to think about it yet” – “I will look into it later” – “I don’t want to discuss it” – “why should I bother – others can deal with it when the time comes”. And then if they do want to start working on this what are the subjects to be consider and where to write them and to do so confidentially.
I have also found that people assume they only need to think about what other people may need when they die – but what about if they have a stroke, or suffer from dementia or other debilitating illness?
So I designed a fillable “Advanced Personal Information” form based on my own experiences with my two siblings and also my elderly mother and my elderly step-mother (my father had been divorced from my mother). This form can be completed on a computer and saved to a memory stick (which can then be filed with your will or other secure place) or the form can be downloaded and then printed out and completed by hand. Either way I suggest that it is reviewed annually.
I was invited recently to lead a discussion at a one day forum on end of life, run by Jewish Care, one of the foremost UK Jewish care charities. I was speaking to a group of people of all ages but mostly in their sixties or more. One lady said that this form was a “life-saver” for her as she could now go, with a copy of this form, to visit her elderly mother who had refused that far to discuss her end-of-life wishes, and now they could complete it together.
In the UK there is a highly regarded charity called The National Council for Palliative Care which is the umbrella charity for all those affected by end of life and hospice care. They created “Dying Matters”, a coalition of 30,000 members which aims to help people talk more openly about dying, death and bereavement, and to make plans for end of life. Its membership includes hospices, care homes, National Health Service organisations and staff, GPs, funeral directors, the legal sector, charities, faith groups and many more.
Updated February 2023: The form is downloadable from this link on Google Drive. To download click on the download icon in the upper right.
Looks like this:
If you have read this far and are wish to download the form, PLEASE then complete it now and not later – later may be too late!
To contact me Richard Conradi, write to r140141@gmail.com; this email address is also shown on page 2 of the form.
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The famous actor is on a journey. Many of us know the GPS.For me, Bruce Willis will always be the wisecracking co-star, with Cybill Shepherd, of television’s Moonlighting. Or, the prize fighter fleeing from his manager in Pulp Fiction.
Or, most memorably for me, police detective John McClane in the Die Hard series, which I never tire of watching.
But, this week we learned that Bruce Willis is facing a far more formidable foe than even Hans Gruber.
Bruce Willis is now battling frontotemporal dementia, a neurodegenerative cognitive impairment which has symptoms that include changes in behavior, communication, and language. It has neither treatment nor cure
As his family wrote: “Bruce has always found joy in life, and has helped everyone he knows to do the same. Your continued compassion, understanding, and respect will enable us to help Bruce live as full a life as possible.”
In the New York Times, Patti Davis, the daughter of the late President Ronald Reagan, reflects on the bravery of that announcement. She recalls her own father’s admission, in 1994, that he had been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. He signed off with these words: “I now begin the journey that will lead me into the sunset of my life.”
For my entire career, I have seen how the various forms of dementia have affected patients and their families. I have seen how it has affected esteemed colleagues and scholars — the story at the Shabbat table, repeated three times in the course of a few minutes, and the sad glances of others, knowing what has begun.
I have seen people that I love disappear, slowly.
As a rabbi, what wisdom do I bring with me to these encounters with fragility and finitude?
The first teaching. About thirty years ago, when I was a young rabbi, I attended a rabbinic conference. At the end of the conference, one of the oldest rabbis rose to deliver the final benediction. It started out great, but he did not know when to stop. Slowly, what had started as an elegant statement became absurd.
At first, my colleagues and I stood there and listened. But, as the minutes dragged on, many of us began to fidget. Some of us began to grimace and/or giggle. The whole experience had become uncomfortable for everyone, until finally, the old rabbi was politely moved off the podium.
As we started to walk away, one rabbi came over to me and said: “Jeff, don’t forget what happened to the shattered pieces of the Tablets of the covenant.”
He was referring to the story of the Golden Calf in the book of Exodus. When Moses saw the Israelites worshiping the idol, he broke the Tablets of the covenant, and he and God collaborated on crafting a new set of Tablets, representing the renewal of the covenant.
The ancient sages asked: What happened to the first set of tablets which were broken?
The Talmud (Berachot 8b) puts it this way:
Rabbi Joshua ben Levi said to his children: Take care to respect an old man who through unavoidable circumstances has forgotten what he knew, for Scripture says that both the whole Tablets and the shattered Tablets were placed in the Ark.
It is one of the most moving images in rabbinic literature: the comparison of an elderly sage, perhaps struggling with dementia, to the broken Tablets.
Notice, please: Joshua ben Levi imparts this teaching not to a crowd of nameless students, and not as an academic exercise.
He spoke those words to his own children. Perhaps he was preparing them for what he believed would be either inevitable or likely.
The second teaching. Judaism places the mitzvah of honoring ones parents at the very center of its moral core.
But, here is something interesting. When the ancient sages chose a character who exemplified that virtue, they did not choose a Jew.
Instead, they chose a gentile named Dama ben Netinah, who was the city council president of Ashkelon in the first century of the Common Era.
From the Talmud (Avodah Zarah 23b:
Rav Abbahu said: Rabbi Eliezer the Great was asked by his disciples: “Can you give an example of real honoring of parents?”
He replied: “Go and see what Dama the son of Netinah of Ashkelon did. His mother was mentally afflicted and she used to slap him in the presence of his colleagues, and all that he would say was: “Mother, it is enough (dayeich immi)!”
Here we have a tragedy — a story so poignant that everyone can relate to it, a story that is timeless in its ability to transcend the generations and to speak to our inner lives.
We can understand Dama’s pain and frustration. His mother has humiliated him in the presence of his colleagues, but she has humiliated herself more – and it wasn’t her fault.
We can imagine Dama’s internal pain. We can imagine him saying to himself: “This woman who is abusing me – she used to be my mother. She used to be a beautiful woman who nurtured me and cared for me. When I was an infant, she would clean me – and now I have to clean her. She has hit me. My dignity will heal itself within a few seconds, but this illness has come and utterly and permanently robbed her of her dignity.”
For those of us of a certain age, Bruce Willis’ situation touches something very deep and very raw within us. Bruce Willis and I are the same age. We look at what he and his loved ones are experiencing, and we feel it — deeply.
It will, by no means, be easy. It will be very difficult.
My prayer: May Bruce maintain as much of his dignity as is humanly possible. May he always know that he is made in the Divine Image. May he always feel God’s love, and the love of those who care about him. May God give them strength, patience, and love.
Let us always remember that we carry the intact Tablets and the shards of the broken tablets together.
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My father-in-law died 2 weeks ago. All three of his sons, AJ, Ben, and Eric were there with him as Harold slipped away in his sleep. He was almost ninety years old, and quite frail; his hearing and his vision were both fading, and he needed help walking for more than a year. He had full-time help, and thus was able to “age in place,” in his home, rather than moving to an assisted-care facility.
His wife, my mother-in-law, Doreen, died 13 ½ months ago, in December of 2021. She, too, died in the night. We all flew in for the memorial service, and to be together at that time of loss.
And so we did again: the Saferstein boys and their wives assembled late last week to remember their dad, to tell stories, and to share their grief.
In some ways, that was the easy part. It’s the logistics that were so hard.
First, it is hard to wait a week or more between death and the memorial service. Jews traditionally bury quickly, in 24 or 48 hours. These days, the timing is a bit different: the funeral is scheduled for as quickly as out-of-town relatives can arrive. But the waiting in that liminal space between death and burial, between the shock of the dying and the mourning at shiva – that waiting leaves one uncertain of how to spend his time, how to mourn before the body is cared for.
Secondly, upon arrival in Arizona, we discovered someone had broken into the Saferstein house and taken Hal’s computer and small safe. Cabinet doors were pulled open and ransacked; a window had been smashed. All this because, we think, someone saw the obituary and put two and two together – deciding that robbing an empty house was a good idea.
But what a violation for us mourners!! Our in-laws, both AJ and Lynn who live locally and had been carrying the brunt of the logistics of caring for Ben’s dad, and Eric and Gigi, who were staying at the house, these amazing people took it upon themselves to report the crime and clean up the aftermath, both physically and monetarily, cancelling credit cards and other aspects of a stolen identity carved from my father-in-law’s computer. This work is painstakingly difficult and often obscure; managing the implications of the burglary while in acute mourning was beyond hard.
And then, there is the house itself. Filled with clothing and cookware, pictures and thank you notes saved over the years, the idea of emptying the place and preparing it for sale was also a challenge. The Saferstein men, with their wives, looked to see what we might want to keep and packed those up in boxes to be mailed. And that left. . . well, a house full of stuff.
My in-laws had beautiful taste, which manifested in stunning art: glassware, sculptures, rugs, furniture, and more. One the one hand, it seemed that we should keep everything; we should go round the house with post-its, claiming the things we wanted. On the other hand, we are all adults and our houses are already furnished. What is the point of shipping flatware to Denver?
And so, we compromised. Ben and I took some clothing, some for Shira and some for Ben, and we also took the Judaica, since we are the only practicing Jews in the family. Gigi thought to put aside a beautiful box with a Mogen David on it, for use for jewelry or anything, really. But much of the stuff we brought back to Denver for Shira, we ended up giving away. There was a nice black tee shirt and a couple of cardigans: Shira noted that they were lovely, but she already had things like it.
So it goes. The possessions of one generation becomes the detritus of the next. I look around our house and picture Shira, many years hence, giving away our stuff. Having to sort through our books and instruments and saved letters and Pesadich cookware. And having to do it without siblings.
It makes me want to start the sorting now. At the same time, the thought of going through all those memories. Is overwhelming. I have, in fact, culled my library (both the professional one and the one full of novels and mysteries) over the past several years; there are still some shelves waiting to be sorted. It is hard and yet somehow exhilarating. But not today, my body informs me. I am tired and need a break. I am emotionally wiped out
Grief is funny that way. Just when you think you have a handle on your feelings and on the physical energy around mourning, it creeps up on you from behind and nails you to the wall.
We are not our stuff . . . but our stuff does help show who we are. And my in-laws, Doreen and Harold, were kind, generous, classy, funny people. May they be wrapped up in the bond of eternal life. And may their memories be for a blessing.
The post Death and Sorting appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Rabbi Address speaks with Michael Liben, host of the Bereaved But Still Me podcast.
“Bereaved But Still Me” is a podcast for the bereaved community that was formerly known as “Heart to Heart with Michael.”
“Heart to Heart with Michael” was nominated for a 2020 WEGO Health Award and became a finalist in the Health Podcast category. “Bereaved But Still Me” is a product of the Hearts Unite the Globe Network of Podcasts.
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
The Seekers of Meaning TV Show is also available on the J-Link video service from the Jewish Federation of Southern New Jersey. You can sign up for the service at https://www.jlink-snj.org/seekers-of-meaning
You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions.
Listen to the Audio PodcastYou can listen to the audio podcast version in the player below, or subscribe to the podcast in one of the popular platforms by clicking one of the buttons below the player.
- Apple Podcasts
- Google Podcasts
- Spotify
- Podchaser
- Stitcher About the GuestMichael LibenMichael Liben is the host of the “Bereaved But Still Me” podcast and is a documentary filmmaker living in Israel.
The post Seekers of Meaning 2/17/2023: Michael Liben, host of the “Bereaved but still me” podcast appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
Note from Rabbi Address: We are pleased to have as guest contributor Rabbi Larry Hoffman, a beloved and respected teacher to so many colleagues and one of the major experts on worship and sacred space. Rabbi Hoffman has given us his permission to post this letter and request to be part of a unique and beautiful tribute. Please take a moment to read this and, we hope, respond. Memory is a powerful part of who we are as a people. Study adds to that reservoir of love.
All day, every day, octogenarian Bernard Cottle sits on the same park bench, as if keeping guard over the cemetery opposite. He used to sit there with his wife, a friend explains, and when she died, he more or less took up sentry duty on it. One night, when no one was looking, he even spread her ashes on the earth below, so that (again, when no one is looking), he could still converse with her.
Bernard is a character in The Thursday Murder Club which I was reading as a break from more weighty matters. But there I was, one of the characters, or, more accurately, many of the characters, because the Thursday Murder Club is a set of aging people in and around an assisted-living home. What I share with most of them is that, like Bernard, we have lost our life’s partner, who, however, still inhabits the places where we used to sit, eat, walk, and love together.
Like Bernard, we eventually think about perpetuating the presence of the person we have lost: establishing what Isaiah calls a Yad Vashem, “a memorial and a name.” The term was borrowed to name the Jewish People’s Holocaust Memorial in Jerusalem, but Isaiah used it to describe God’s promise that those who lead the good life will receive “an everlasting name that shall not perish” (Isaiah 56:5).
So Bernard sits dutifully on the bench where his wife once sat as well, and sure enough, people who see him remember her. I imagine he must worry that when he too dies, people will forget them both; had he the means, he would surely endow the bench, emblazoning upon it a plaque with his wife’s name for all to see even after he is gone. We all know people who have perpetuated a yad vashem that way: if not on a park bench, then as part of a synagogue memorial wall that lights up at appropriate occasions.
Those who can, go farther still. They choose some praiseworthy passion of the person who died and fund that passion for the benefit of others. That’s what I am doing now, in this second year of Gayle’s death. And I am writing this because I hope you will help me.
Gayle was a Jew in a small-town Canadian synagogue. She converted there, learned Judaism there, and paid dues there until she died, even after moving to New York to be with me. But hers is just one of many tiny to medium-sized congregations spread widely across the miles, overall under-appreciated for their enormous contribution to Jewish life, despite meagre resources and insufficient clergy who must often work alone, responsible for everything. I wish to honor Gayle’s memory, by honoring those congregations and those rabbis.
Toward that end, I am establishing the Gayle A. Hoover Memorial Fund For Adult Learning, a comprehensive system to provide quality offerings for adults like Gayle, using Zoom technology to link small and medium-sized congregations across the miles as an ongoing community of communities. We will encompass, as well, the handfuls of Jews in even smaller Jewish communities, where no synagogue exists at all. The program is for Canada, but it is a prototype that, once up running, will be replicable anywhere.
Imagine a faculty of all the rabbis and cantors in the system, as well as professors from universities, and experts in everything from Kabbalah to cooking, in a virtual Academy of Jewish Study. Large congregations who can afford quality programming have agreed to stream selective programs to the smaller and mid-size synagogues where people can gather for the offerings, along with a follow-up conversation with their local rabbi or cantor.
The fund will also mount an annual or biennial weekend retreat for members of participating communities to gather in person and meet the friends they have made on zoom, thereby creating a “community of communities.”
Importantly, the program has been enthusiastically welcomed by rabbis and adopted by the Reform Jewish Community of Canada, which guarantees its continuity.
But as you can imagine, the endowment funds I need just to administer it all are significant; and so, I hope you won’t mind as I ask for your help. If you have resources to share, please contribute what you can. If you know others who might help, please pass the word to them. Your support honors Gayle’s memory and is a gift to me. It is also, after all, a great cause, a model for quality Jewish education even for the smallest synagogues that need feel isolated no more. I cannot thank you enough.
To contribute:
In the United States, https://urj.org/GayleHoover
In Canada, https://www.therjcc.ca/donate.
For contributing foundations:
Recipient Name: Gayle A Hoover Fund for Adult Learning
Organization Name: UNION FOR REFORM JUDAISM
Organization Address 633 Third Ave, 7th floor, New York, NY. 10017 ATTN: Development Department
Organization Telephone Number 212-650-4140
Organization Contact Person: Felicia Schuessler — FSchuessler@urj.org
Organization Tax ID 13-1663143
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On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, documentary filmmaker Sky Bergman discusses her film, “Lives Well Lived.”
The Lives Well Lived film captures the images, ideas, and ideals of those who are proving that aging is something to cherish, that retirement doesn’t mean you retire from life, and that growing older doesn’t mean growing silent. These are the people teaching a growing population of men and women how to age with dignity, grace, energy, and purpose.
Beginning with its premiere at the Santa Barbara International Film Festival, Lives Well Lived has screened in more than 200 cities. The film has won eight awards, and the theatrical run garnered enthusiastic reviews and a 100% Fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoes. Organizations like Aging 2.0, AARP’s Movies for Grownups, Encore.org, and Leading Age have screened Lives Well Lived. Now the film is available on PBS!
Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast Now Available on Roku Streaming ServiceYou can add the Jewish Sacred Aging TV channel to your Roku streaming subscription by visiting this page: https://channelstore.roku.com/details/600964/jewish-sacred-aging.
The Seekers of Meaning TV Show is also available on the J-Link video service from the Jewish Federation of Southern New Jersey. You can sign up for the service at https://www.jlink-snj.org/seekers-of-meaning
You can also watch this week’s show in the player below. The shows now include closed-captioning for the deaf or people with a hearing loss. Click the “CC” button on the video player to activate closed-captions.
Listen to the Audio PodcastYou can listen to the audio podcast version in the player below, or subscribe to the podcast in one of the popular platforms by clicking one of the buttons below the player.
- Apple Podcasts
- Google Podcasts
- Spotify
- Podchaser
- Stitcher About the GuestSky BergmanSky Bergman is an accomplished, award-winning photographer. Lives Well Lived is Sky’s directorial debut.
Her fine art work is included in permanent collections at the Los Angeles County Museum of Art, Brooklyn Museum, Seattle Art Museum, Santa Barbara Museum of Art, and the Bibliothèque Nationale de France. Her commercial work has appeared on book covers for Random House and Farrar, Straus & Giroux, Inc., and magazine spreads in Smithsonian, Arthur Frommer’s Budget Travel, Reader’s Digest, and Archaeology Odyssey.
Sky Bergman is a Professor Emeritus of Photography and Video at Cal Poly State University in San Luis Obispo, CA. She has two short films about intergenerational connections currently on the film festival circuit and is working on a feature-length film that is a celebration of love.
Sky was recently named a CoGenerate Innovation Fellow, joining an impressive group of 14 other social entrepreneurs with cogenerational solutions to today’s biggest problems. These 15 inspiring social entrepreneurs bring older & younger people together to address racial inequality, climate change, social isolation and more.
The post Seekers of Meaning 2/10/2023: Sky Bergman, producer of the documentary, “Lives Well Lived” appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
I recently celebrated a milestone birthday. In an email exchange with a friend a few days beforehand, I wrote: “I don’t know how I got to be this old, but I am grateful for every birthday — especially because I know how easily it might not have turned out this way.”
In 2010, less than three months after losing my mom to extremely aggressive metastatic breast cancer, I learned I carry a BRCA2 genetic mutation. The faulty gene — that our family now knows I inherited from her and caused her disease — increases my lifetime risk of certain types of cancers, including breast, ovarian, pancreatic, and melanoma. Ovarian and pancreatic cancers are especially difficult to diagnose early on — when a cure is most feasible.
Forty-seven at the time, I was convinced rogue cells already were rampant throughout my body and alarmed by the gaping holes our lack of knowledge was highlighting in my own healthcare routines: According to medical guidelines, I should have been getting biannual breast exams and MRIs alternating with mammograms starting at age 25 and had my ovaries and Fallopian tubes removed by age 40.
In honor of Jewish Genetic Screening Awareness Week, here are nine things you should know about inherited BRCA genetic mutations — and what you can do to find out if there’s one lurking in your family tree. These facts could save your life or the life of someone you love, so read carefully.
- Every human is born with BRCA (an acronym for BReast CAncer) genes. Healthy BRCA genes — without mutations — serve as tumor suppressors, helping the body fight off rapid and unregulated cell growth. Women with a BRCA mutation have a significant lifetime risk of developing breast and/or ovarian cancer — often earlier than those in the general population. Men with a BRCA mutation are at increased risk of breast and prostate cancer. Like women, men can inherit a mutated gene from either their father or their mother and, also like women, have a 50% chance of passing the mutation to each of their children — both sons and daughters.
- Although a woman’s risk of developing breast and/or ovarian cancer varies based on her personal family history and the specific BRCA gene mutation she carries, lifetime risk of breast cancer can be as high as 87% (vs.12% in the general population) and for ovarian cancer, as high as 50% (vs.1.5% in the general population). There are hundreds of different BRCA mutations and other faulty genes that increase risk of developing various types of cancer, and scientists are identifying new ones all the time.
- BRCA mutations also are associated with increased risk of Fallopian tube and primary peritoneal cancer (cancer in the lining of the abdomen) in women and with pancreatic cancer and melanoma in both women and men.
- In genetic diseases such as Tay Sachs and cystic fibrosis, the condition develops when both parents are carriers and individuals inherit two “recessive” genes — one from each parent. BRCA gene mutations, by contrast, are “dominant,” which means that inheriting one mutated BRCA gene from a parent is sufficient to increase one’s lifetime risk of developing certain types of cancer.
- Some people with BRCA mutations will never develop cancer — either because of luck of the draw or because they elect to take chemoprevention drugs or have prophylactic surgeries to remove their breasts and/or ovaries and Fallopian tubes, greatly minimizing their risks. For those who do develop cancer, it often can be detected early because of the increased surveillance these individuals undertake.
- Approximately 90 to 95% of breast cancer cases are “sporadic,” which means they are not caused by a BRCA mutation. The same is true for 85% to 95% of ovarian cancer cases.
- In the general population, roughly one in 500-800 individuals carries a BRCA mutation, making the condition exceedingly rare. However, within the Ashkenazi Jewish population (individuals with at least one Jewish grandparent from Central or Eastern Europe, which includes most North American Jews), approximately one in every 40 people — 2.5% of the population — carries a BRCA mutation. Most carriers are unaware of their BRCA status, and research has shown that more than half of Ashkenazi Jews who test positive for a BRCA mutation have no personal or family history of cancer.
- It is important to know the possible signs of hereditary cancers, which include a family member diagnosed with ovarian or Fallopian tube cancer at any age; breast cancer before age 50; breast cancer in both breasts at any age; both breast and ovarian cancer; triple negative breast cancer; or male breast cancer. Other signs of hereditary cancer include more than one relative on the same side of the family with breast cancer; ovarian or Fallopian tube cancer; prostate cancer; or pancreatic cancer.
- In 2019, the National Comprehensive Cancer Network (NCCN) updated its guidelines to indicate that all adult men and women of Ashkenazi Jewish descent may be offered testing for three commonly inherited mutations in the BRCA1 and BRCA2 genes. Genetic testing should only be undertaken in consultation with a certified genetic counselor, a professional trained to assess individuals’ personal cancer risks based on numerous factors, interpret test results in a field that moves at lightning speed, and help determine appropriate risk management strategies when necessary. The National Society of Genetic Counselors can help you find genetic professionals in your area.
Yes, every birthday is a blessing and so is the knowledge that an inherited genetic mutation increases my lifetime risk of developing certain cancers. This knowledge empowered me to make difficult, risk management decisions and, today, to take other ongoing steps to protect my health and ensure an annual trip around the sun for many years to come.
For more information about hereditary cancer, contact Facing Our Risk of Cancer Empowered (FORCE), a national non-profit organization solely devoted to providing resources and support to individuals and families affected by hereditary cancer. To order an at-home genetic testing kit that includes a consultation with a genetic counselor to review the results, visit JScreen — and save $72 through February 28, 2023, with coupon code JGSAW23.
The post Nine Things You Need to Know About BRCA Genetic Mutations appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
As you know if you have read some of my columns, a little over a year ago I was ordained as a rabbinic pastor through the Aleph Ordination Program. There was still too much Covid around so the ordination was done online. Most of the students were upset. To be quite honest I didn’t care. I finished the program. I was going to graduate and get my certificate. I had been ordained. I was now clergy.
Ordination, the granting of Smicha, is a very old, traditional process. Moses is considered the first Rabbi. He is often referred to in Talmud as Moshe Rabbeinu, Moses our Rabbi, Moses, our teacher. The successor to Moses as leader of the Israelites was Joshua. Moses, under God’s direction, “ordained“ Joshua as his successor to lead, and to render judgments about issues of law. This process was completed by the laying of hands upon him. This was how leadership was transmitted, orally and physically. The process was followed from Joshua through successive generations to the Talmudic times of Hillel and Shammai. The tradition says this was an unbroken, formal line of transmission of authority. Each time the next generation was ordained, hands were lain, and it was a direct transmission from Moses himself.
Sometime around 360-450 CE, this line of transmission was broken. But rabbinic ordination has been continued, perhaps in a less formal way. Today, in the US, ordinations are granted by major rabbinical institutions, as well as by other individuals and organizations. Many modern ordinations include a ceremony with the laying of hands. At my seminary, the ordination ceremony is completed with the signing of the Teudah (the certificate that sets forth the terms of the ordination), a verbal recitation, and a laying of hands. This has been the connection to our history and our traditions. To me, this “transmission” was a nice metaphor. I don’t really believe in that kind of magic.
In 2021, covid was spreading, so the ordination ceremony was online. The teudot were signed and mailed and the clergy recited the words in a cacophony of voices. Even if you were fluent in Hebrew, you could not understand the Hebrew. Some of the students were fortunate enough to have a Rabbi or two with them. But for most, the laying of hands was virtual and symbolic. My ordination in 2022 was done that way too. It was still a great day. I had family and friends join from all over the country. I was proud of my accomplishment, and very happy. My friends said they never saw me smile so much.
This year, we finally returned to live gatherings. My ordination class was asked if we wanted to have a “redo,“ with in-person participation. My response was that I had already been ordained and did not want to have another ceremony. My more cynical response was I did not want to have a ceremony that might give the powers that be the opportunity to take back my ordination. I was OK just attending the ceremony for the new class, and being part of their joy.
I did not really understand it, but our faculty appeared to be united in their desire to have an in-person ceremony to make up for the online one. We settled on having a blessing ceremony. The faculty would not re-ordain us, but they would give us their blessings. In my old age, I have decided that I will welcome receiving as many blessings as possible, so I went along.
We gathered together on Sunday afternoon, January 8. It was one day short of the anniversary of our online ordination. We gathered into a tight circle in the center of the room. A large group of our faculty, deans, mentors, and other honored clergy surrounded us. I felt someone’s hands on my shoulders. Maybe it was more than one person. The blessing started, and the leader referred to us as colleagues. It was the first time I had been publicly acknowledged as a colleague by this impressive body of clergy. That alone sent a shiver up my spine.
As they continued our blessing, as I stood there with my eyes closed, something happened. I started to feel this sensation in my body. A jolt. A quiver. An involuntary shiver. A really loud heartbeat. I know my rational friends will say it was a probably just a really big rush of adrenaline. But that wasn’t it, because I have had adrenaline rushes. I’m know how they feel. Please don’t tell my children, but I have felt pharmaceutical induced rushes too. It wasn’t that either. It was a sensation that just went right through me. My whole body felt…something. I started crying. I opened my eyes and saw I was not the only one.
“What was that?” I asked myself. What did I feel? It was too real to just be an overactive imagination. I asked about it. I asked for help to figure out what happened. The Dean of our Cantorial program said it was an electric spark. Where did it come from? He did not know. The Dean Emeritus of our Rabbinic program said it was the transmission. But I don’t believe in that. That’s too bad. ‘Our clergy don’t graduate,” she said. “They receive a transmission.” And it appears, I got it.
I am a very rational, scientific minded person. Weird, mystical things are just not my style. I am fascinated by magic tricks, but I don’t believe they are really magic. People can’t receive communications from Rabbis long gone. But I guess even if you don’t believe in magic, if you open your eyes, and look around, you might see it happening. Or even feel it happening to you.
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On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Shari Haber discusses her company, Great Goodbyes LLC, which she founded in 2017 to empower people to “die better and be remembered best” by enlightening them about emerging death care options and their rights as funeral consumers.
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- Stitcher About the GuestShari HaberShari Haber founded Great Goodbyes LLC in 2017 to empower people to “die better and be remembered best” by enlightening them about emerging death care options and their rights as funeral consumers.
Her group talks and private “Death Prep” sessions emphasize the benefits of advance planning to maximize choice and savings, and to minimize loved ones’ stress during bereavement. She advocates: “planning for your own death isn’t morbid or woo-woo, it’s sensible, will give you peace of mind and is an act of lovingkindness.”
Before embarking on a career in death education and planning, Shari was a senior PR executive who launched many successful consumer technology brands. She later worked on a TV script about Baby Boomers rewriting the aging narrative, and discovered many also are reimagining death as a human event, more personalized and eco-friendly.
Though her own brand aligns with this vision, professionally Shari is “agnostic” about the information she shares, letting her clients’ values and preferences lead.
For more information, visit her website www.mygreatgoodbye.com.
Shari is a Trustee of the Funeral Consumers Alliance of Northern New Jersey, a Member of the Association for Death Education and Counseling, and a Volunteer with New Jersey Quality Institute’s Conversation of Your Life Task Force.
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Editor’s Note: Continuing our content partnership with Neshama, the National Association of Jewish Chaplains, Rabbi Zoe Van Raan writes about the central role of our elders in Jewish teaching.
The concept of kibud zekaynim, honoring elders, is woven throughout many of our most studied texts, as we will see below. Herein, elders are revered in one way or another. This reverence is not confined to any one aspect of the human condition, but encompasses the spiritual, mental, and physical aspects of the aging process. Age is not static, as there are always developments being created. Age is a process of continually becoming.
As far as the roles of elders in a community, Numbers 11:16 is a G-d given instruction to gather the elders, as they are to become leaders. They remain as such throughout.
Of Leviticus 19:32, “You should rise before the elderly and honor the aged,” I suggest that this rising represents a desire to someday summon our internal experiences enough so that we may announce our place in the societally supported spiritual realm. As time happens and passes, there are more and more opportunities for spiritual awakening.
Deuteronomy 32:7 reads, “Ask your father and he will tell you, your elders, and they will explain to you.” The depth of experience that comes with age brings about a depth of response that surpasses those of younger years. Throughout Deuteronomy, Moses directs the elders to explain G-d’s instructions to the Jewish people. Moses, himself considered a grand leader, defers to the elders.
Deuteronomy 34:7 reads “Moses was a hundred and twenty years old when he died, yet his eyes were undimmed and his strength undiminished.” Aging does not detract from liveliness, but continually builds upon itself. The fact that aging is honored is made evident through a fairly common Hebrew expression and birthday greeting which says ‘May you live to 120.’
The psalms speak of aging as well. “Do not cast me off in the time of old age; forsake me not when my strength is spent…But I will hope continually and will praise You yet more and more” (71:9, 14). Old age is replete with blessings, and, as such, much to praise. “With long life I will satisfy him and show him My salvation” (91:16). Aging is filled with the expedition of becoming. Long life is something for which to aspire.
Proverbs 16:31says “Grey hair is a crown of glory; It is attained by the way of righteousness.” We move through the aging process, achieving shiny trophies such as those given to royalty, to mark the way.
In Hebrew, when referring to a person, “old” is synonymous with “wise”. The Hebrew word for elderly, zaken, is an acronym for ‘zeh shekaneh chachma‘ — a person who has acquired wisdom.
Job, 12:12, says that wisdom is found among the aged, and long life brings understanding.
Mishnah Kinnim 3:6 says “With aged ones come wisdom and understanding in length of days.”
Sefer HaMiddot 1 states “Elders give strength to the Jewish people, and their advice is beneficial for us.”
In Pirkei Avot 4:20, Elisha ben Abuyah said “He who learns when a child, to what is he compared? To ink written upon a new writing sheet. And he who learns when an old man, to what is he compared? To ink written on a rubbed writing sheet. Rabbi Yose ben Judah a man of Kfar Ha-babli said: He who learns from the young, to what is he compared? To one who eats unripe grapes, and drinks wine from his vat; And he who learns from the old, to what is he compared? To one who eats ripe grapes, and drinks old wine. Rabbi said: don’t look at the container but at that which is in it: there is a new container full of old wine, and an old [container] in which there is not even new [wine].”
Midrash Tanchuma Ki Tisa 27 states “One should greet an elderly person as one greets the Shekhina.” The Shekhina, the presence of G-d, often illustrated as the feminine aspect of G-d, is greeted on Shabbat with wild abandon.
Both overtly and on subterranean levels, there is a wellspring of other textual examples in which eldering is regarded and experienced as something to honor and celebrate. At any age, may we be the leaders we want to follow. May we be the ones before whom we would stand. May we be the explainers. May we adhere to the ancient words in our wisdom tradition as we follow and accompany our ancestors through the revered passage of time.
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Rabbi Address was the guest speaker at the October 30, 2022 weekly breakfast of the South Jersey Men's Club, which meets at the Katz JCC in Cherry Hill each Sunday. [Read more...]
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This week’s Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast features David and Melissa Bernstein, who have founded PowerOf5Life.com to provide books, courses, and recipes for better health outcomes for baby boomers. [Read more...]
The post Seekers of Meaning 11/25/2022: David and Melissa Bernstein, PowerOf5Life.com Courses and Recipes for Better Health appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
In this d'var Torah, Rabbi Stacy Rigler discusses how people may feel alone, unheard, and unnoticed. [Read more...]
The post Why Do We Exist? appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
Spiritual Care Near the End of Life: Interfaith Perspectives Co-Sponsors: Calvary Hospital Neshama: Association of Jewish Chaplains The Collaborative for Palliative Care Friday, December 2, 2022 9 a.m. – 1 p.m. Eastern Time Online [Read more...]
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Dr. Stephen Goldfine, chief medical officer, and Joanne Rosen, chief marketing and public affairs officer of Samaritan, discuss palliative and hospice care options. [Read more...]
The post SOM 11/18/2022: A Discussion of Samaritan’s Palliative and Hospice Services appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
Sandy Taradash discusses the gratitude we feel at Thanksgiving and the gratitude to God symbolized in the Passover song, "Dayenu." [Read more...]
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Rabbi Dr. Steven Moss discusses his new book, Jewish Wisdom for Living and Dying: A Spiritual Journey Through the Prayers and Rituals of Maavor Yabok and Sefer HaHayiim. [Read more...]
The post SOM 11/11/2022: Rabbi Dr. Steven Moss, author of “Jewish Wisdom for Living and Dying” appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
Reb Carl Viniar writes about the scarcity of civility in our social discourse today. [Read more...]
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Cantor Rhoda Harrison compares God's biblical command to Abraham, lech l'cha, to go forth, with the existential imperative to flee oppression at the rise of Nazism in Germany marked by this week's observance of Kristallnacht. [Read more...]
The post Lech L’cha: Going Forth with God, and Without appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Rabbi Stephen Fuchs, rabbi at Bat Yam Temple of the Islands in Sanibel Island, Florida, discusses his experience guiding the congregation’s response to the aftermath of Hurricane Ian, which devastated the island community in October 2022. [Read more...]
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Clergy, chaplains, and health professionals are often called on to provide spiritual care near life’s end, especially during the Covid-19 pandemic. Learn more in this virtual webinar. [Read more...]
The post Spiritual Care Near the End of Life: Interfaith Perspectives – Yeshiva University Webinar appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
Marc Blessoff writes that Jewish Tradition commands us to respect our bodies and to strive for health as a means of honoring our relationship to God. It’s a mitzvah to be healthy and well. [Read more...]
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This essay by Rabbi Dennis Sasso, Senior Rabbi at Congregation Beth-El Zedeck, Indianapolis, Indiana, was originally published by the Times of Israel. We republish it with Rabbi Sasso's permission. [Read more...]
The post And Then You Remember… appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
On this week’s episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, author and humorist Matt Goldberg discusses his forthcoming book, Rings of Kindness, an anthology that features more than 80 true stories of [Read more...]
The post Seekers of Meaning 10/28/2022: Matt Goldberg, Humorist, Author of “Rings of Kindness” appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
Rabbi Dan Ehrenkrantz, former head of the Reconstructionist Rabbinical College, discusses his new book, Where Are You? A Beginner's Guide to Advanced Spirituality. [Read more...]
The post Seekers of Meaning 10/21/2022: Rabbi Dan Ehrenkrantz appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
Rabbi Address provides insight into the opening chapter of Bereshit, the first book of the Torah. [Read more...]
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Andrew Goretsky, regional director of the ADL in Philadelphia, discusses the rising trend of antisemitism in the US. [Read more...]
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This sermon was delivered by Rabbi Lina Zerbarini at Kehillath Shalom Synagogue in Cold Spring Harbor, NY on Kol Nidre. [Read more...]
The post Kol Nidre 5783: Do Not Cast Us Off In Our Old Age appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
Reb Carl Viniar writes about the kinds of tests we might face in unexpected places and for unexpected reasons. [Read more...]
The post Tests, Tests, Tests appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
Rabbi Bryan Kinzbrunner discusses his New Beginnings Spiritual Coaching and Consulting LLC, a spiritual life coaching practice based in NJ. [Read more...]
The post Seekers of Meaning 10/7/2022: Rabbi Bryan Kinzbrunner, Spiritual Coach appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
The Re-CHARGING Reform Judaism Conference will convene thought leaders, Jewish scholars, philanthropists, and committed lay leaders from throughout the U.S. and Canada for an extraordinary opportunity to assess this crossroads moment and offer a call for a bright future. [Read more...]
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Since my daughter moved to Oregon last year when her two college age kids started school there, it’s been lonely for all the holidays. And this year, my other daughter’s girls are off — one [Read more...]
The post Making Tashlich Your Own! appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
On this week's episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Rabbi Shmuly Yanklowitz returns to discuss his social justice commentary on the Book of Proverbs. [Read more...]
The post Seekers of Meaning 9/30/2022: Rabbi Shmuly Yanklowitz discusses his social justice commentary on the Book of Proverbs appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
As many of you know, I am an avid cyclist. Most of my rides are done solo so when I come to a crossroads, “an intersection of two or more roads”, I need to make [Read more...]
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Rabbi Richard F. Address, founder and director of Jewish Sacred Aging, provided this video message as we begin the Rosh Hashanah holiday for 5783.
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This week's guests on the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast are Rabbis Rifat Sonsino and Richard Agler, editors of a new collection of essays, A God We Can Believe In. [Read more...]
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Editor’s Note: This is a guest post from our new contributor, Rabbi Barbara Bortz. As you cannot help but know, Queen Elizabeth II died earlier this month. I’m not a monarchist – I was raised [Read more...]
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On this week's episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Rabbi Toba Spitzer discusses her book, God Is Here: Reimagining the Divine. [Read more...]
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I suppose, like many of you, I have vivid memories of 9/11 and watch the commemorations every year. For me, it was personal. I was at work early that morning for a meeting with 15 [Read more...]
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On this week's episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Rabbi Larry Kotok and Rev. Rick McCall discuss the relevance of theology in challenging times. [Read more...]
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Hollis Citron, founder and CEO of I Am Creative & Express Yourself Publishing and her mother, Susan Gross, discuss their experience creating a widows' support group for Susan's community and the importance of Jewish communities like synagogues creating and nurturing such groups. [Read more...]
The post Seekers of Meaning 9/2/2022: Hollis Citron and Susan Gross, Widows Group Organizers appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
World Alzheimer’s Month is an international campaign to raise awareness around Alzheimer’s disease and all types of dementia that takes place each September. This year’s campaign highlights the importance of community support for families facing the challenges of dementia. [Read more...]
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On this week's episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, the guest is Amy Seigel, RN, CCM, founder and CEO of Advocare Geriatric Care Services in South Florida. [Read more...]
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Rabbi Dr. Steven Moss suggests ways to prepare for the coming High Holy days. [Read more...]
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Sandy Taradash describes the second-time empty nest experience as the grandchildren move away. [Read more...]
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Melton is pleased to offer this innovative class with Rabbi Richard Address (Founder and Director of Jewish Sacred Aging) in which we will examine the Jewish values of health, healing, wholeness, and holiness. [Read more...]
The post Growing Older, Living Longer: Four Values that Support Our Elder Life Stages appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
On this week's episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Rabbi Elana Zaiman discusses her book, The Forever Letter: Writing What We Believe For Those We Love. [Read more...]
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Reb Carl writes about his pastoral counseling and mediation practice. [Read more...]
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Joining Rabbi Address on this week's Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast is Reb Carl Viniar, a rabbinic pastor and retired attorney who is an expert in marital counseling and mediation. [Read more...]
The post Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast 8/12/2022: Reb Carl Viniar, Rabbinic Pastor and Marital Counselor appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
Rabbi Edmond Weiss, Ph.D., reviews a new book by Rabbi Rami Shapiro, "Judaism without Tribalism." [Read more...]
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Rabbi Dr. Steven Moss discusses the connection between Tisha B'av, which begins at sundown August 6, and Yom Kippur. [Read more...]
The post Tisha B’Av: What is it all about? appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
On this week's episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, the guest is Sara Zeff Geber, Ph.D., author of the book Essential Retirement Planning for Solo Agers. [Read more...]
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Chaplain Barry Pitegoff, BCC, discusses spiritual wrestling as we approach the month of Elul, a time of introspection in preparation for the High Holy Days. [Read more...]
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JSA Contributing Author Rabbi Karen Fox describes the complexity of grandparenting at longer distances. [Read more...]
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JSA Contributor Lee Richmond discusses new approaches to emotional well-being for people approaching their nineties. [Read more...]
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At a certain moment in the book of Genesis, a powerful demon in a fit of pique destroys all of Creation, killing every man woman and child save for one family. No, wait. That’s God. [Read more...]
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Sandy Taradash describes the living tribute to her parents recently dedicated at Camp Newman in California. [Read more...]
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Rabbi Address speaks with Rabbi Mendel Moskovitz, ambassador for the Jewish Relief Network Ukraine. [Read more...]
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Rabbi Susan Elkodsi suggests that the time spent by Israel in the wilderness was a time of needed healing and repair. [Read more...]
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Reb Carl Viniar expands on his recent "Spice Up Your Judaism" class about recent Supreme Court decisions, conducted for Congregation Kol Ami in Cherry Hill, NJ. [Read more...]
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This week, Dr. Keren Etkin discusses her book, "The AgeTech Revolution: A Book about the Intersection of Aging and Technology." [Read more...]
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In this episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Rabbi Address chats with Linda Hershman, LMFT (Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist) and author of Gray Divorce: Everything You Need to Know About Later-Life Breakups. [Read more...]
The post Seekers of Meaning 7/15/2022: Linda Hershman, Marriage and Family Therapist, Expert on Late-Life Divorce appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
On this week's episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Rabbanit Dasi Fruchter is guest. Rabbanit Fruchter is the leader of the newly formed Modern Orthodox congregation known as the South Philadelphia Shtiebel (southphiladelphiashteibel.org). [Read more...]
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Chaplain Barry Pitegoff, BCC, takes on the parsha of the red heifer. [Read more...]
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New JSA Contributor Rabbi Pamela Wax shares some of her poetry, which helped her cope with the death of her brother. [Read more...]
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Acting in a decisive manner while practicing active meditation to ensure wise choices are both necessary and essential as we pursue justice, writes contributor Lee Richmond. [Read more...]
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On this week's episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Rabbi Lawrence Hoffman, Ph.D., the Barbara and Stephen Friedman Professor Emeritus of Liturgy, Worship and Ritual at Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion, New York, discusses new ways of looking at worship ritual and liturgy. [Read more...]
The post ENCORE: Seekers of Meaning 5/20/22: Rabbi Lawrence Hoffman, Ph.D., Discusses New Approaches to Liturgy and Worship appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
Reb Carl Viniar writes about how his college friends' and Jewish fraternity brothers' lives unfolded in an era of protest and personal achievement, but ended up with a renewed focus on Judaism. [Read more...]
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On this week's episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, the guest is Tia Newcomer, CEO of CaringBridge.org, a nonprofit social network that helps people connect with family and friends during a health journey. [Read more...]
The post Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast 6/24/2022: Tia Newcomer, CEO of CaringBridge.org appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
Community members gathered on Saturday, June 18 at the Horwitz-Wasserman Holocaust Memorial Plaza on the Benjamin Franklin Parkway in Philadelphia for a Pride Havdalah program to learn about and commemorate the persecution of LGBTQ+ individuals in the Holocaust. [Read more...]
The post Philadelphia Community Gathers for Pride Havdalah to Remember LGBTQ Individuals Persecuted in the Holocaust appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
On this week's episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Rabbi Stephen Karol, rabbi emeritus of Temple Isaiah in Stony Brook, New York, returns to the program to discuss his latest book, Embracing the Supernatural in Judaism: Signs from Our Deceased Loved Ones and Stories About The World-to-Come. [Read more...]
The post Seekers of Meaning 6/17/2022: Rabbi Stephen Karol appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
Rabbi Address's guest is Rabbi Danya Ruttenberg, scholar-in-residence for the National Council of Jewish Women, author of a continuing newsletter on the Torah called "Life is a Sacred Text," and author of a new book, On Repentance And Repair: Making Amends in an Unapologetic World. [Read more...]
The post Seekers of Meaning 6/10/2022: Rabbi Danya Ruttenberg, Scholar in Residence, National Council of Jewish Women appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
Today, writes Sandy Taradash, anything goes! We are witness to authenticity, realism, blatant language and deeds with memorable images that impact our brains forever. But, she concludes, in the name of technology, this is probably considered progress. [Read more...]
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Whether or not you go to synagogue next Sunday and Monday to celebrate Shavuot with a community, Rabbi Dr. Steven Moss suggests spending some time reflecting on God’s presence in your life and how it shapes and directs your moral, ethical, religious, and spiritual behavior. [Read more...]
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Rabbi Ilan Glazer and Cantor Hinda Labovitz discuss their support group for parents who have lost children, Our Love Continues. [Read more...]
The post Seekers of Meaning 6/3/2022: Our Love Continues, Support Group for Bereaved Parents, with Rabbi Ilan Glazer and Cantor Hinda Labovitz appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
Lee Richmond writes about the myths that define -- and distort -- our images of our society and ourselves. [Read more...]
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Reb Carl Viniar writes about the recent rise in antisemitism and suggests some approaches to fighting back against it. [Read more...]
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This week's guests on the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast are Rabbis Rifat Sonsino and Richard Agler, editors of a new collection of essays, A God We Can Believe In. [Read more...]
The post ENCORE: Seekers of Meaning 5/13/2022: Rabbis Rifat Sonsino and Richard Agler, editors, “A God We Can Believe In” appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
On this week's episode of the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast, Rabbi Lawrence Hoffman, Ph.D., the Barbara and Stephen Friedman Professor Emeritus of Liturgy, Worship and Ritual at Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion, New York, discusses new ways of looking at worship ritual and liturgy. [Read more...]
The post Seekers of Meaning 5/20/22: Rabbi Lawrence Hoffman, Ph.D., Discusses New Approaches to Liturgy and Worship appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
Carole Leskin recalls Ronni Bennett, whose senior blog reminded her to dance. [Read more...]
The post Dancing in Frilly Pink Underwear appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
This week's guests on the Seekers of Meaning TV Show and Podcast are Rabbis Rifat Sonsino and Richard Agler, editors of a new collection of essays, A God We Can Believe In. [Read more...]
The post Seekers of Meaning 5/13/2022: Rabbis Rifat Sonsino and Richard Agler, editors, “A God We Can Believe In” appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.
I read an article in which Lisa Kudrow told the story of her son’s bar mitzvah at a mall. Her son was 16 and had gone to the mall to purchase a new game. Some [Read more...]
The post Everything old is new again appeared first on Jewish Sacred Aging.