Choose Your Narrative: Recent Episodes
Nat Smithson
In Choose Your Narrative, host Nat Smithson shares stories of her journey through the ups and downs of life and discusses mindfulness strategies she uses in an effort to motivate people to explore, challenge, and strengthen their own thinking and mindset to encourage happiness, fulfillment and positive growth in their lives.
In this episode, Nat talks about the importance of being intentional about developing our resilience and shares ideas for how we can achieve this. We're all forced to navigate difficult situations throughout our lives, often with little warning, and the better prepared we can be, the less negative impact these testing times can have on us.
Increasing our self-awareness and making the effort to seek out opportunities that challenge us forces us to learn and evolve and can better prepare us for future hardship by clarifying our current skills and strengths, and also the areas of ourselves that we can improve on.
Nat makes reference to a fantastic TED talk 'The three secrets of resilient people' presented by Wellness and Resilience Expert, Dr Lucy Hone, in which the suggestion is shared that we make time to reflect and identify when we're not thinking or acting in ways that support our ability to be resilient. Dr Hone suggests we ask ourselves the simple, yet effective question, "is what I’m doing right now helping or harming me?" to trigger us to make necessary adjustments to our thoughts and actions to ensure we’re adequately armoured to take on life’s challenges.
In this episode, Nat gives listeners an understanding of what reinforcement and some other common behaviour modifiers are and how they can be used to cause adjustments to the behaviour of those who are subjected to them. She provides some simple, relatable examples of positive and negative reinforcement and explains the important connection between the intrinsic and extrinsic motivations we each have, and the efficacy of reinforcement methods.
With a focus on positive reinforcement, Nat describes multiple uses of this in the work environment, and explains how the most successful managers and leaders are those that have an awareness of the motivations and needs of their staff, and use appropriate reinforcement to ensure these motivations and needs are met.
Nat also talks about how we may use another behavioural modifier, punishment, to try and adjust any unwanted behaviour of those closest to us and also ourselves. Then wraps things up by addresses the fact that punishment alone doesn't inform the recipient of what behaviour is actually wanted by the punisher, while reinforcement on the other hand, clearly identifies what behaviour the recipient should repeat.
In 'Take control of your thoughts' Nat gets us thinking about the relationship we have with our thoughts and how the way we interact with, and interpret them guides how we perceive ourselves, those around us, and the experiences we have. She reminds us that we have the ability to decide the fate of our thoughts; whether we listen to them, shelve them to unpack when we have more time or are in a more suitable headspace, or shut them down if we know they're only going to be destructive to our mood, confidence or self-perception.
Nat also talks about the contribution negativity bias has to the type of thoughts we have and the proportion that are negative, and encourages us to challenge these kinds of thoughts to determine their value and purpose. The episode then wraps up with Nat sharing a few simple ideas for how we can shift our focus our the more positive thoughts we have and also ways that we can promote more regular positive thinking.
The following sources are referenced in this episode:
Tseng, J., Poppenk, J. Brain meta-state transitions demarcate thoughts across task contexts exposing the mental noise of trait neuroticism. Nature Communications 11, 3480 (2020).
'Mind Matters: How To Effortlessly Have More Positive Thoughts'
Neringa Antanaityte - TLEX , Trainer and Consultant (2020)https://tlexinstitute.com/how-to-effortlessly-have-more-positive-thoughts
'Successful goal setting' is a fantastic and informative episode for those wanting to learn about, or be reminded of, the priorities we should have when planning and working towards achieving goals that will create a positive and purposeful impact in our lives.
Nat talks about the processes she uses to set goals, particularly when entering into a new year, and references the 'SMART goals' framework to highlight the crucial elements that goals require if we're to set ourselves up for success and long-term fulfillment.
This is great episode to come back to anytime you need a quick recap on the more meaningful reasons why we set goals and why doing so in a thoughtful and structured way is well worth the effort if you're serious about making constructive, meaningful change and improvement in your life.
'SMART goals' were developed by George Doran, Arthur Miller and James Cunningham in 1981 and included in their article “There's a S.M.A.R.T. way to write management goals and objectives” in the Journal of Management Review.
In 'Understanding and repurposing insecurity' Nat talks about how insecurity could be showing up in our lives and why it's in our best interest to explore how it could be negatively impacting us and if necessary, seek change.
Everyone’s experience of insecurity is unique but there are some commonalities, including low confidence and a need to seek validation and approval from others to feel secure in who we are, and comfortable with our decisions and actions.
Nat gives listeners a wake-up call about how unmanaged insecurity can encourage undesirable behaviour, like putting people down or downplaying the accomplishments or qualities of others in an effort to subside our own inadequacy.
Instead of standing on the sidelines watching with self-pity and envy, Nat encourages us to harness feelings of insecurity and jealousy, and use them as motivation to formulate our own plan for success, guided by our purpose and passion.
Do you feel like you have a lot of responsibilities you're trying to juggle? And more importantly, are you one of them? Many of us lead such busy, high pressured lives that sometimes we forget to make time to check in with ourselves and make sure we're on the right track.
In 'The importance of personal responsibility' Nat takes a look at some of the habitual ways we can get stuck reacting in challenging situations if we don't stop and reflect on our thoughts and behaviours. She also explores the benefits of taking ownership for our part in the situations we find ourselves in throughout life, explaining how acting with greater acountability gears us up to more proactively direct our course.
In Episode 9, ‘Where's your focus at’, Nat shares a bit about her previous and current experience with focus and why it’s so important to stop and acknowledge when our focus is being distracted, either by external disruptions, or even our own thoughts.
Nat talks about the downfalls that result from allowing our minds to spend too much time existing in the past or in the future, rather than taking time to observe and appreciate the present moment. She also talks about the reasons why focus is crucial to achieving success and plants some seeds around simple things you can do to stop your mind from wandering more than it should, and to places that serve you no purpose.
In episode eight, 'Channelling Gratitude', Nat brings our attention to the benefits of taking time to stop and reflect on the people, opportunities, and things in our lives that we are grateful for. She also suggests we be more intentional in how we choose to observe the world around us, as we can often miss simple moments or experiences that have the ability to bring us joy, teach us valuable lessons, or remind us of what is most important to us.
We're also taught that a psychological phenomenon known as negative bias exists and is responsible for our thoughts more easily extracting the negative information from the experiences we have in life. Channelling gratitude is a simple way to shift our perceptions, and take control of our thoughts, crafting them to be more constructive so that they can serve us positively.
In episode seven, 'The benefits of stepping outside your comfort zone', Nat explains some of the main reasons why many of us can get stuck existing in a space called our comfort zone, and why although this does have a time and a place, there can be many benefits to stepping out of this space if we do it with intentionality, go in mentally prepared and have an openness to learning.
Nat also provides advice on what adequate mental preparation requires so that if you do choose to embark on your own journey outside your comfort zone, you can do so with confidence and your eyes wide open to what can be gained from the experience.
In 'The Consequences of People Pleasing', Nat provides a quick refresh on some of the most common people pleasing behaviours that were introduced in the prior episode, 'What is People Pleasing'. This episode then dives a little deeper into the possible negative and unwanted scenarios that can be experienced by those who have people pleasing tendencies, alerting listeners to the importance of acknowledging people pleasing behaviour, and taking the time and effort to explore how these behaviours could potentially be causing them angst or landing them in unwanted situations if this is something they struggle with.
As always, Nat then wraps things up by sharing some helpful ideas for simple changes that can be made to improve these often challenging and repetitive situations, and encourages listeners to remember that making time and preserving some energy to keep themselves happy, is just as important as keeping those around them happy.
The term 'people pleaser' seems to get thrown around a lot, with many being quick to assign or be assigned, this title, as a way of providing reasoning behind particular actions or thoughts. But when we hear it, or say it, do we really even know what it means? And do we understand the motivations or circumstances that may be causing this kind of behaviour?
In this episode, Nat presents a simple and easy to follow breakdown of what some of the main people pleasing tendencies are, and why, if we find ourself displaying these, it may be worth reflecting on whether or not we want this to continue.
The episode wraps up with Nat sharing a couple of thoughts and actions that can easily be implemented to keep people pleasing at bay, or at the very least, ensure better protection of valuable time and energy.
Patience is a virtue. We've all heard or said this somewhere along the line. But when you do hear or say it, do you stop and actually think about how important patience truly is in the accomplishment of some of life's biggest successes?
In this episode, Nat gets you thinking about why it's so important to remember to display patience when building worthwhile and fulfilling opportunities and relationships, in a world that moves at an ever-increasing pace.
Nat also touches on our need to be tolerant in sometimes testing situations, but urges consideration of, and caution around, tolerating situations that we should instead be acting to change.
To wrap it all up, Nat reminds us that patience and success go hand in hand with endurance and we have to be in it for the long haul if we want to achieve some of the biggest, most rewarding accomplishments that life has to offer.
Instead of trying to become 'fearless', Nat encourages her listeners to stop and consider their current relationship with fear. Do they carry fears that are holding them back from pursuing opportunities that they would really like to go after?
Nat describes to her audience the potential benefits of cautiously taking time to listen to their fears and understand if they are acting as warranted warnings, or simply barriers to stepping outside of their comfort zone and taking on new, exciting challenges. To help with this process, Nat describes simple strategies she uses that allow her to decipher and manage her own fears, so that she can use them to her advantage, rather than letting them take advantage of her!
In 'The New Confident You', Nat encourages her audience to focus on four key areas when embarking on the journey to build their confidence:
1) Identify their purpose and passion, what is it that makes them tick?
2) Believe in themselves and act as their own personal cheerleader.
3) Practice, practice, practice! They must practice the skills they wish to master, and as their ability grows, so will their confidence.
4) Control their emotions and be aware of unwanted, destructive emotions and negative self-talk that hinders feelings of confidence.
Choose Your Narrative, a podcast created by host Nat Smithson, explores how the adoption of simple mindfulness practices and the application of targeted mindset shifts can prove advantageous in the development of improved mental and physical health.
Nat shares stories of her own journey to better understand and strengthen her mindset to ensure she armors herself with resilience, positivity, and patience as she navigates life's inevitable challenges. And she encourages her audience to do the same by sharing simple mindset tips and practices that can easily be incorporated into a busy routine, giving her listeners the opportunity to plot and create a narrative for their lives that they really want.