Pain to Purpose: Recent Episodes
Paige Jannay
A raw and honest conversation about mental health, sexual assault/abuse and the criminal justice system
00:00-00:37 - Support lines
01:04-02:50 Introduction to episode and guest speaker, Jenna Clark
02:55-04:25 Jenna shares the reason for joining this episode and her feelings towards the fractures within the criminal justice system
04:27-09:50 The barriers therapists face when supporting someone who is going through the process of a criminal investigation and difficulties when trying to engage and support victims.
09:50-12:05 Barriers that are created when unable to discuss the trauma due to ongoing investigation.
12:05-16:29 A lack of awareness around the process of reporting sexual violence to the police. Statistically, the figures do not show that victims receive justice which is an additional trauma.
16:30-19:40 Difficulties with extracting evidence for criminal cases.
19:41-22:20 Trauma education - your own body's trauma response.
22:21-27:30 Partnership working amongst therapists and the police. Jenna shares an example of successful partnership working when extracting and sharing information with the police following a disclosure.
27:31-33:00 The hope of healing and the importance of passion and empathy. The super powers that some people possess to engage and support others with their healing journey.
33:00-39:30 Jenna shares a story of when the therapeutic relationship has broken down.
'Sometimes you will say something to someone and you don't realise how much power that has or what people will remember.'
39:31-45:40The reality of the trauma in the world that many people are not aware of. How someone as a therapist or someone working frontline protects themselves when being met with this.
45:41-50:00 Resilience. Finding the light. The safety of a professional relationship and how sharing 'realness' doesn't have to be unprofessional but can be powerful.
50:01-54:02 Trauma informed practice. Should it be mandatory training? We all move through trauma and it is a systematic response that needs to be better understood.
54:03-55:37- Closing comments and affirmations from Jenna
Join Paige and Gemma for part two of their conversation. Here we continue a really insightful conversation about how sexual violence impacts not just the victim, but friends and family.
0:00-0:36 Helplines for support
01:03-03:20 Unhelpful questions and comments made by others and the impact on the victim
03:20-07:45 Friends and family members reaching out to others for support or guidance in supporting those close to them. The lack of professional support available to second hand victims
07:45-14:55 Prioritising yourself over trying to support and hold others when you're vulnerable and fragile. Creating space for yourself when needing to heal. Friends and family members being mindful of a victim's healing journey and respecting their boundaries and choices.
14:55-17:35 Understanding the ripple effect of speaking out and making a safety plan with support available. An investigation outcome isn't always in your control so focus on yourself and your own safety.
17:40-21:20 Antagonising the abuser. Is this helpful or productive? Using that emotion and energy on surrounding the victim and being supportive in terms of their needs.
21:20-29:10 Gemma shares her experience of hearing about sexual violence/abuse within her family. Making arrangements to support each other as a family and how this was perceived by work. "When you're not the person whose gone through that, people almost judging you for finding it hard to cope with it."
29:10-41:00 Being mindful of the comments you make or questions you ask. You may not remember saying/asking them but someone will remember hearing them. Fight, Flight, Freeze, Comply response. Compassion over questioning. Allow the information to come from the victim authentic as appose to feeling pressured into sharing information.
41:00-45:35 Being a good friend to someone who has been sexually assaulted/abused. What is helpful?
45:35- Closing comments and reflection.
We are joined by our first guest, Gemma. We have a really insightful conversation about how sexual violence impacts not just the victim, but friends and family.
0:00-0:40 - Support details
01:00-02:15 - Introduction to episode and guest: Gemma
02:15 - The initial conversation of sharing sexual violence with someone and the feelings and emotions from victim's perspective and those who care for them.
09:30 - What is helpful/unhelpful when someone comes to you about their experience
15:00 - Paige's experiencing of speaking about her experience for the first time and discussing this with the police
21:00 - Gemma's perspective as a family member and why she feels victims should speak out
24:00 - Element of secrecy between victim and abuser
27:00 - Process in sharing evidence and making a statement with police
35:00 - What support Paige had and why it was helpful. Advice on how you can be that support
40:00 - Appropriate relationships/friendships and whether they can withstand the weight of these discussions
46:00 - Discussing important of support for those supporting victim's through trauma, police investigation and mental health crisis
49:00 - Gemma's experience of processing the impact a family member's experience had on her
55:00 - Discussion around the criminal justice system and processing not feeling there is a sense of justice
Our 'bonus' episode discussing whether or not time can heal all wounds.
Today, we discuss if time alone can lead us through healing in different areas of life or whether there is more to it.
Our first 'bonus' episode sharing encouragement and practical suggestions to support and improve mental health.
Today, we discuss self compassion and how this can be supported through letter writing. I share 'A letter to my younger self' and the positives from taking time to acknowledge and notice the self critic.
00:45 - 24hr Support Helplines
Domestic Violence Helpline (0808 2000 247)
Rape Crisis Helpline (0808 802 9999)
Introduction into blocks and barriers of speaking out to family, friends, professionals and police when experiencing any type of sexual violence.
03:25 -Fear of impact on other people.
Through trying to protect others, it prolonged my own suffering. Fearing the unknown and unpredictability of their response.
06:10. - Fear of losing relationships.
Trying to put into perspective those who may let you down. Acceptance of not being able to control the thoughts, feelings and actions of other but not putting your healing on those actions of others.
11:20 - Fear of not being able to verbalise what needed to be said.
Ensuring it is spoken about when you’re comfortable and with someone who makes you feel safe. Accessing appropriate support and allowing your own timings.
16:20 - Not always knowing what happened was wrong.
Things became normalised and more complicated when abuse comes from a trusted person in your life.
Other black and barriers shared by others. 90% of these comments/experiences were repeated by many others.
20:00 - Fear of not being believed.
Sexual violence often means the victim has to prove it happened. Or their experience is questioned or disproved until ‘solid evidence’.
22:30 - Part of me will always blame myself.
Exploring why victims often blame themselves through analysing a situation to prevent it happening again. Often easier to blame yourself than hold others accountable in order to feel safer.
26:45 - No excuse for any sort of violation.
Society’s culture around victim blaming has no place; Especially, when victims already blame themselves.
29:30 - Not feeling strong enough.
Everyone’s version of strong is different. There is strength in just going through it and surviving. Trying to get to a point where you live your life and it is no longer defined by your trauma.
36:01 -Barriers to reporting to the police.
Real lack of understanding surrounding the process and the time it can take in comparison to what we see/hear in the media.
40:30 - Feelings of lack of support to get through criminal investigation.
Acknowledgment to the blocks due to waitlists, thresholds and funding limitations. Invaluable support from Independent Sexual Violence Advisor (ISVA), specifically assigned through investigation.
43:00 Closing comments.
You are strong. You are loved. You are enough.
Introduction into what to expect from the Pain to Purpose podcast.
Please be mindful that there is mention of sexual assault/abuse. Take care of yourself and be kind and access support if you need to.
It would be great to have you walk with me and listen to this raw, honest and open conversation.