Heart of the Matter: Recent Episodes
Annalisa Bahadur
Life is made up of obstacles and adversities. That you already know. Maybe perhaps too well. But did you know that there is no blog post, textbook, or even a podcast that tells you what your specific tools are? This podcast helps to find your unique built-in, manual as you turn inward to heal, thrive, and succeed.
It is frustrating when a partner can't give you what you need especially after they promised or implied they could.
We try to change them - or their mind.
We hope they can change and become the person we thought they were when we first met.
We struggle with the fear of the relationship ending, lashing out with hurtful words, doing things that causes more damage - and then regretting them all when we are calm.
This episodes walks you through what you can do before the damage is done.
Breathing tips as promised in this episode -
- Practice 5 minutes a day and build from there
- Focus on your breathing and learn its natural rhythm before you do anything.
- Intentionally breathe deeply - in and out.
- Ask your doctor about box breathing exercises and if it's right for you. This is great for calming the nervous system and helping us respond with clear intentions instead of reacting.
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Are the manipulating you by telling you what you want to hear? It's a lot deeper than this and this episode breaks it down.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode.
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Today I'm answering three questions I get asked constantly. And I picked these three on purpose, because they build on each other. The first one is the controversial one: can a fearful-avoidant actually have a successful relationship WITHOUT going to therapy? People want me to say no. I'm not going to say no. But I'm also not going to give you the comfortable answer.
The second question is one almost everyone struggles with: how do I know if what I'm feeling is anxiety, or if it's a real need I should actually honor? Because those two things feel identical in your body, and most of the internet can't tell you the difference.
And the third one is personal, and a lot of you have felt it: "I feel abandoned every single time my partner goes off to a team dinner or out with friends. How do I get over this?" We're going to take that one apart together, because the real answer isn't what you think it is.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode.
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If you ever thought healing your attachment was impossible - here are two other people who were able to do it.
Today I did something I never did before - I had a discussion with who I have witnessed working on healing their attachment styles.
This episode gives you three certified coaches walking you through what healing looks like, our experiences in our past and current relationships, how attachment styles shows up and how we all react differently to triggers from a secure space.
We are excited to teach you everything we know.
Leave a review and let us know what you think. Share this with your friends and don't forget to subscribe.
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It’s crushing when your avoidant partner disappears. But why are they doing it...and what can you do.
On of the most disruptive things happening in avoidant- anxious relationships is when the avoidant partner suddenly disappears without an explanation.
We want to understand their motives, explain how this hurts us, try harder but perhaps if we understand why they tend to do this we can rest at ease - or make some hard decisions that will benefit us.
This podcast is meant to guide you if you're going through this or if you've gone through this.
For my book - From Anxious to Secure - https://stan.store/DecodingAttachmentStyles/p/from-anxious-to-secure
For my mini online program - Boundary Bootcamp - https://stan.store/DecodingAttachmentStyles/p/boundary-bootcamp
To book a session with me - https://stan.store/DecodingAttachmentStyles/p/book-a-session-with-me-ui52g6pv
To Subscribe to School of Attachment - https://stan.store/DecodingAttachmentStyles/p/weekly-coaching-tools--strategies
Disclaimer: I am a certified coach with a psychology background, not a licensed therapist. The content I share is for educational and informational purposes and is based on Attachment Theory principles. I am currently funding and researching a personal project on attachment behaviors and feelings with 175 individuals. This page is not a substitute for professional therapy, diagnosis, or treatment. Please use discernment and consult a qualified mental health professional for personal advice.
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You may have been dating and anxious attached and they seem put together. They are not the needy and clingy ones you heard about. They don't remind you of your ex who was needy and clingy. You might even think you're being tricked. Are they manipulating you?
Chances are you have bummed into a not so rare gem. There are emotionally mature anxious attached gems that can behave in very secure ways and that is healthy for a long- term relationship. However, you don't want to sabotage these relationships by testing them too much because these are the ones that won't stick around and beg like your emotionally immature ex probably did - and you don't want to risk that.
If you're anxiously attached, this may trigger you or help you to grow if you're ready for that.
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This is an episode recorded for my instagram Wednesday live. These are the questions I answered for my followers there👇👇👇
- My avoidant treats me like he’s a bf even we are not longer together for months. We have been on and off but he always treats me like his bf when we are together
- Does avoidant experiences physical symptoms when their relationships feel too much?
- What do you think of the opinion that avoidants generally cheat (emotional/phyical/leave doors open, etc)
- Why do DA cheat?
- How to deal with silent treatment from a fa partner?
- Husband is avoidant, he gets extreme stressed about the future and shuts down for months?
- My boyfriend has mostly female followers on instagram. It triggers my anxiety. What should I do?
- Are avoidants who don’t do the work usually emotionally immature?
- Is it okay to tell an ex you know would need therapy/ counselling to let them know?
- I have been in no contact with someone for 10 weeks. He then asked to meet then went missing again. Checking he sill had access.
- Can avoidant heal/break patterns without therapy?
I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode.
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Healing an anxious attachment isn't easy but it is possible.
My client agreed to sit down and share his journey - what he went through as an anxious attached person, what he has learned and how he continues to grow and feel empowered in his relationships.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode.
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My client decided to share what it's like for her to be a fearful avoidant attached person. We often think that only men are avoidant attached but what happens when it's a woman.
Client S shares how she thinks and feels when she gets overwhelmed and what it looks like to heal. She talks about what she is going through as she manages her emotions during a breakup and what she would do differently if/when she gets back with her partner.
Join us for this one plus hour chat .
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Secure attached people don't beg or chase when an avoidant wants to breakup. They also know when to call it quits...and in this episode - that is what we are discussing.
We will discuss...
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a secure attached timeline to a deciding a breakup,
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how they communicate breaking up
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what they heal during breakup
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how they respond when avoidant circles back
🚶🏻♂️➡️Follow me on instagram for more insights into attachment styles.
🔁 Share with someone who needs to hear this.
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They act like they are over you the moment you breakup and that is crushing. But is that what they really feel?
There are lot of "experts" on what avoidant attached person feel during breakups. I have on average 70 avoidant attached people on speed dial and I am sharing what they all say they go through during breakups. It's astounding how they all have the same breakup story.
Leave a comment and let me know your thoughts on this podcast.
Much love,
Annalisa
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I wish someone had told me this when I first started dating.
I made so many mistakes that landed me in some questionable relationships. The tips I share here has helped me choose a partner I enjoy life with.
I'm breaking down the red flags to look out for, the green ones to pay attention to, the pace to move at so you don't end up with someone who blindsides you.
This would help if you've been dating someone for a while or if you're now getting into the dating work.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode.
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What happens when you've been in a long distance romance with an avoidant attached person and it feels intense even if you've just met a handful of times? You want answers...
What is happening here?
Can this be anything more?
Why do they ghost me and return?
As Sarah shares her stories, we try to find her answers that would soothe her troubles heart.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode.
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What happens when you have been friends for what seems like forever - you lose each other and find each other and in your older years decide to date but then to be blindsided by the avoidants pull away???
Sarah shares her journey through friendship to falling in love with her friend and then the heartbreaking pulling away that started a journey into examining her anxious attachment style and healing.
This is for you if you've ever been confused about your relationship going great and then suddenly coming to a halt.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode.
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Social media will tell you that anxious-avoidant relationships are doomed. That avoidants are narcissists. That anxious people are just codependent. I'm here to tell you that's oversimplified BS that keeps people stuck.
In this episode, I'm breaking down the anxious-avoidant dynamic with the nuance it actually deserves. After healing my own anxious attachment and being in a relationship with someone who's fearful-avoidant and has been actively working in therapy for over three years, I've learned that this isn't about finding a villain - it's about two nervous systems trying to feel safe in completely different ways.
We're covering:
- The protest-withdrawal cycle: what it actually looks like and why it happens
- 4 damaging myths social media spreads about this dynamic (and why they're wrong)
- What secure attachment would actually do in these moments - not as theory, but as a real, usable framework
- How to hold both empathy AND boundaries at the same time
- The real questions to ask yourself if you're in this cycle right now
- Why "just stop chasing" and "just communicate better" aren't solutions -they're oversimplifications
This episode doesn't tell you to leave or stay. It gives you the tools to make that decision from a grounded, informed place. Because you deserve relationships that feel secure, and you're capable of creating that - but only if you're willing to do your own work.
Whether you're anxious, avoidant, or watching this pattern play out in your relationship, this one's for you.
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Annalisa answers followers questions.
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What happens when someone who is working on their attachment style meets with an avoidant attached style person who may not be working on their healing - they set boundaries. How does that work out? Listen to this podcast as Sarah explains the hot and too heavy too soon dynamics of her relationship, setting boundaries and what happened next.
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You probably went through a breakup and was left wondering how your ex could appear like you never existed. This episode helps you to appreciate and understand what might be going on in the mind of your avoidant attached ex just after breakup - in case you're wondering -
how can they move on as quickly,
how can the stay away from texting you,
how can they date so soon...
And please don't forget to subscribe and leave a review. It sure helps this episode get to others who need it.
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Let's unpack one of social media's most pervasive attachment theory takes: the idea that avoidants coldly "discard" people the moment intimacy develops. But what if this narrative is not only oversimplified - it's actively harmful?
In this episode, we explore how reducing complex human behavior to viral soundbites can pathologize normal relationship struggles, create self-fulfilling prophecies, and prevent the very understanding that leads to secure relationships.
Whether you identify as avoidant, have loved someone who does, or you're just tired of armchair psychology taking over your feed, this episode will challenge what you think you know about attachment styles.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode.
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An avoidant shares her confusion at being heavily pursued by a man she didn't know, only to start appreciating the attention before he started to pull away.
In this episode we discuss why avoidants are careful when entering new relationships, how they process relationships that just ended and what signs they are looking for as they enter into a new relationship.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode.
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One of the most sought after answers in our time right now is how to manage a relationship with an Avoidant Attached person and, what is really going on in their minds.
This episode helps an Avoidant Attached person understand themselves better, as well as starter healing journey. It also helps those who are interested in understanding and appreciating their avoidant attached friends and partner better.
Drop a comment and let me know how this particular episode changed your perspective.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode.
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Many anxious and secure attached persons have dated avoidant attached persons who seemed really ready for a long term committed relationships until.... things got heavy. Many were left confused at their behaviours as some avoidant back-peddled, withdrew, seem to gaslight or altogether ghosted.
In this episode, one of my guests shares her distress in trying to navigate her relationships as she tries to learn about her ex's behaviours, and her own.
Give this a listen if you want to feel seen and validated while gaining some insights into the mind (and actions) of an avoidant attached person.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode.
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Many of us believe that holding an avoidant accountable means talking to them like they are an idiot and we are their parent. How many of us liked it when our parents, or anyone in authority held us accountable? No one! We revelled and worse, you ignore and avoided as much as we could. Yes- my anxious attached friends. Even you did that.
Most people are online telling us that we need to hold avoidant attached persons accountable and that is true. However, what we think is "holding them accountable" is actually coming across to them as "control."
Let's sort out this messy issue but highlight what we think is an ultimatum, what the avoidant hears and how we can do "accountability" right.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode.
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At first, he was open to communicating about their needs. He seemed keen on trying to be better. They were great together - both feeling safe to be vulnerable for the first time, then something changed.
He started to feel pressured and needed space. She gave him that space only to have a conversation later that confused her.
Join me as I discussed with Sarah what are some of the red flags she might be missing right now and how she can navigate working with someone she is no longer in a relationship with but also hopes to get back together with...someday.
What does she need to do differently should they get back together.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode.
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Ever feels like your avoidant partner never wants to do anything during the holidays?
Avoidant attached persons can have a love/hate relationship with holidays and it had everything to do with their attachment styles.
As an anxious attached partner, you probably love the holidays - getting the perfect presents, planning get-togethers and meals, involving your partner in everything... While on the other hand, your avoidant partner wants to do anything (crawl on a hole) but be a part of what they see as too much.
This episodes dives into why the avoidant attached partner wants to hide from the holidays, your friends and most of their own people. We share five things avoidant attached persons don't want during the holidays and what you can do to help them feel more relaxed - and get them involved.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode.
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She thought everything was fine. Then, he dropped a bombshell/ “I'm not sure I'm in love with you anymore.”
Trying to be understanding, she gave him an easy out. She said, “It's okay if we need to break up.”
But he wouldn't take it. He was confused. He wanted to keep trying.
And just like that, they were trapped in a exhausting cycle of push-and-pull-a classic anxious-avoidant trap-until he finally ended it for good.
Now, she's left heartbroken and overthinking everything. She's asking all the classic questions:
- How do I get over a breakup when I still have feelings?
- What does it mean when he says he loves me but isn't in love with me?
- Why do I keep attracting emotionally unavailable partners?
- Is there any chance of getting back together?
If this story hits home, you're not alone. These painful patterns often point directly to our attachment styles.
In this recorded session, we sit down with Sarah to understand her anxious attachment style and how it showed up in her relationship. We'll break down-
- The hidden signs of an anxious attachment style.
- How fear of abandonment can accidentally sabotage your love life.
- Practical steps for healing a broken heart and creating secure attachment.
- How to stop the cycle of on-again, off-again relationships and learn how to move forward for good.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode.
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Is your heart aching for an avoidant ex? This episode is your essential guide to navigating this incredibly painful and confusing situation. We cut through the generic advice to give you an attachment-based framework for what to do next.
In this episode, you will learn-
- The Avoidant Mindset - What is really going on in their head post-breakup? (It's not what you think).
- The Power of Secure Energy - How to become the one thing an avoidant is subconsciously drawn to.
- Strategic Communication - What to text (and what NEVER to text) to reopen the door without scaring them off.
- The Foundation of All Reconciliation - Why your personal healing is the non-negotiable first step to getting them back.
If you're ready to trade your anxiety for a clear, empowered plan, this episode is for you.
Subscribe and listen now!
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Today we dive into the mind of an avoidant-
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what makes them shut down?
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what are the thinking when they shut down?
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what are the feeling when they have the urge to run away or shut down?
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why do they walk away?
And what you and your partner can do to save your relationship.
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You’re doing “the talk wrong and I’ll help you fix it.
First, think - an avoidant brain is not a secure brain. You can’t talk to it like it’s an emotionally healthy brain.
We think we have to soft talk an avoidant but they are really looking at you thinking - “ I got this exactly where I want it.”
I spoke kindly and softy for decades and that got me nothing but breadcrumbs and disrespect.
ps: these tips are only for the emotionally immature.
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It can be intoxicating when two avoidants meet. There is chemistry and calm. But what happens when there is too much chemistry and calm for two people who are used to chaos? They may become bored and distant until there is a disconnect. And what happens after the disconnect? One or both can flip into their anxious state and seek reasons to stay connected- like a business venture on this case.
This episode highlight how the brain works in the background to cause us to self-sabotage long before the relationship has a chance. We also talk about the red flags you don’t want to miss during the first meetup.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode.
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Sarah felt seen and validated until things turned for the worse with her avoidant attached partner. He then got up and left.
You will see yourself in her story? You will learn from this coaching session how to navigate feelings the confusion and feeling of betrayal after being love bombed and discarded.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode.
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It wasn’t easy for her , but Sarah felt like she had no choice but to shut herself away or withdraw from the demands and overwhelm - even if that sometimes came from her children.
In this episode, Sarah tells what happens in the mind of a avoidant when they are going through their deactivation and what they think during this time.
She also shares how she healed after her partner abandoned her and their children, and how she deals with romantic relationships now.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode.
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Very little is more devasting than the condition of being blindsided and betrayed by an avoidant attached persons. Sure they have their reasons but that doesn’t negate the pain their sudden exit cause when we are the ones left behind.
In this episode, Sarah (name changed) shares her struggles to get through a breakup (divorce) with her ex and her determination to heal. We can all see ourselves in her story- we feel her pain and we root for her.
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You know that you should walk away yet it is so difficult for you to pull the plug on this Relationship. You might’ve even tried to leave in the past but always return to this familiar and uncomfortable place. Why does this happen?
In this podcast, we explore our attachment style and how it keeps us stuck in relationships we know we should get out of. We also discuss tools we can use to make letting go easier.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode.
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Imagine craving the warmth of a campfire. You love the light, the comfort, the shared stories. You want to be close enough to feel its heat. But the moment someone says, "Here, tie this rope around your waist and anchor yourself to this log right next to the flames," you panic.
The very thing that offered comfort suddenly feels like a trap. The fire hasn't changed; the constraint has.
This is the daily reality for many with an avoidant attachment style when they hear the word "commitment." It’s not the shared future, the inside jokes, or the quiet companionship they fear. In fact, they often deeply desire those things. What triggers their alarm system is the label itself. "Commitment" sounds like a contract, a loss of self, a final closing of doors. It translates in their mind to obligation, expectation, and the slow erosion of their most cherished value: autonomy.
On this podcast, we're not going to villainize the avoidant or patronize the partner who wants security. We're going to climb inside this paradox. We’ll explore why the same person who plans a vacation with you six months from now can freeze up when you call them your "boyfriend" or "girlfriend." It’s a confusing cha-cha on the intimacy-autonomy seesaw, and understanding that this is cha-cha and not a waltz is the first step to changing the dance entirely.
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Sarah (name changed) has been a relationship with a fearful avoidant for almost a year. All was going well until it got rocky. She now wants to try again but with some boundaries in place.
Sarah and I sat down recently to discuss how it could look going forward for her and her partner.
Sarah agreed to have this session recorded and aired for the benefit of everyone listening.
Remember, as humans, our views and needs differ. Take what you believe would be helpful for your situation and leave what doesn’t.
Love,
Annalisa
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You hit send. You see the “Delivered” tick turn to “Read.” And then... nothing. The silence is louder than any notification. Your mind starts racing: Are they hurt? Are they ignoring me? Did my message come on too strong? Was it the wrong emoji?
Before you spiral into that abyss of overthinking, we want you to hit pause. The reason for that silent phone likely has very little to do with you, and everything to do with their internal wiring- their attachment style.
In this episode of Decoding Attachment Style, we're applying the science of human connection to one of the most common and anxiety-inducing modern dilemmas: the unanswered text to an ex. We're moving beyond playing games and making guesses, and giving you a practical framework to understand the silence.
We’ll break down exactly how the four attachment styles - Anxious, Dismissive Avoidant, Fearful Avoidant, and Secure - typically process and respond (or not respond) to communication from a past partner. You’ll learn…
- Why your Dismissive Avoidant ex might see your text as a pressure cooker of expectations and need to flee.
- How your Anxious ex could be overanalyzing every syllable, desperate to reply but terrified of getting it wrong.
- The reasons a Secure ex might respond with kindness and clarity, but not the reconciliation you hope for.
- What it means when a Dearful Avoidant (Disorganized) ex’s response is hot, cold, and completely confusing.
Stop decoding their messages and start decoding their behavior. This episode will give you the clarity you need to stop staring at your screen and start moving forward.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode.
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When you're in a relationship shaped by attachment insecurities, the questions are complex, urgent, and deeply personal.
In this episode of Decoding Attachment, host Annalisa Bahadur tackles your real-world dilemmas with clarity and compassion, offering actionable strategies for some of the toughest dynamics.
We're moving beyond theory and into the trenches to answer your pressing questions, including…
- “An FA leaning anxious – do we treat them as anxious?” We break down why you don’t want to hold yourself to suit them and what to do instead.
- “How to help an avoidant partner be open in the relationship.” Discover the dos and don'ts of creating safety without becoming their therapist.
- “What boundaries should I set when trying again with my partner and about to move in together?” Learn the non-negotiable boundaries to protect your emotional state before sharing a roof.
- “My FA friend is in denial mode and looking for another victim. What to do?” We discuss the difficult art of disentangling from a toxic cycle while protecting your own peace, even when it's someone you care about.
This episode is a no-judgment zone for anyone who has ever felt confused, drained, or desperate for answers in the face of avoidant and anxious behaviors. We provide the framework you need to make empowered choices - for your relationship and, most importantly, for yourself.
Tune in for the straight talk and practical guidance you've been searching for.
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Is it okay for your partner to take space and drop off the face of the earth without responding to your texts or calls? Not if you’re in a serious committed relationship. This podcast explains why and what you should do.
If you’re avoidant attached and want to know how to ask for space without your partner getting upset- listen to this podcast.
Please share this podcast if you found it helpful.
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This episode shares the time line in which the avoidant show interested in the rebound, starts to withdraws and goes back to their ex.
The episode talks about why Avoidant Attached jumps into soon after a break
up, what their intentions are when returning to and what you can do to prevent yourself from becoming rebound.
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This is what we are talking about today-
- Why avoidants rush into rebounds
- The negative consequences of rebound relationships
- Whether avoidants come back to their ex
- What their (often anxious) partners should do
- Healthier alternatives for avoidants
- How secure individuals handle breakups and rebounds
Don’t forget to leave a review so others can know how this episode may help them too. Thanks in advance.
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Setting buddies after giving someone a second chance can feel tricky. We want to let them back into our lives but how do we do it with light lagging them take us for granted again.
This podcasts answers that question.
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We all want to feel like the priority in the relationship but this is often not felt when in a relationship with an avoidant attached person. But is this only with a avoidant attached partner or can an insecure (anxious or avoidant) attached feel that way with a secure attached as well. This podcast helps to break down a few possible reasons you may not feel that way.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode.
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It can be confusing spotting your attachment style or knowing exactly which is your partners attachment style. This podcast simplifies the attachment style so you can understand them and appreciate how and why they show up in your every day life. You’ll also have a better understanding of how and if your partner can trigger a different attachment within you.
Share you thoughts on the podcast, please. As well as share to friends and family members if you think this can make their lives a little easier.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode.
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Do you find you’re in a co-dependent relationship that is affecting your relationship? Maybe you need them too much, or perhaps you don’t want to need them as much but don’t know what to do.
This podcast shares how our attachment styles show up in co-dependent relationships and what you can do to manage it.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode.
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Should you leave early Relationship and heal or stay single until you find someone who is securely attached? Is it that simple? Better yet, would it be best to heal your attachment style while still in a relationship or while waiting for someone who is securely attached, I believe that might be a better bet and in this podcast, I share how to attachment styles or formulated so that you have a better understanding of the work that you’re gonna wanna do in order to heal that attachment style and find yourself that securely attached partner.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode.
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One of the most sought after answers in our time now is how to manage a relationship with an Avoidant Attached person and, what is really going on in their minds. This episode helps an Avoidant Attached person understand themselves better, as well as starter healing journey. It also helps those who are interested in understanding and appreciating their avoidant attached friends and partner better.
Drop a comment and let me know how this particular episode changed your perspective.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode.
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This is a recording of the regular Wednesday live Instagram. On today’s episode we answered these questions 👇…and more…
What are the signs that an avoidant ex is forever gone and the relationship has ended
Man has been living a double life. He’s been in two relationships while messaging other women. What should I do?
Do avoidant people honestly love and care about you, or is it just a game?
If I have awareness that I am an anxious attached person and my partner is fearful avoidant, how can I make this work?
How to not be a manipulator?
Would telling a dismissive avoidant I now see my partner in our disconnection and break up with them help mend things?
Is there a way to reignite the spark after you’ve lost interest or should we give up?
How to work on anxiety and overthinking?
What does it mean when an avoidant attached keeps replying to you but says they have no idea what to say?
Why do avoidant give mixed signals and vague responses when asked for honesty?
Why can’t an avoidant tell their ex to leave them alone and go away?
I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode.
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I forgive you’ doesn’t mean ‘I trust you yet.’ Why true forgiveness demands time, boundaries, and self-grace. A raw look at healing after betrayal.
Forgiveness isn’t about speed-it’s about strength. Why granting a second chance requires giving yourself grace first.
Explore the art of forgiving on your terms, setting boundaries, and reclaiming power after betrayal. Because true healing can’t be rushed.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode.
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It’s easy for someone to look at your relationship and think that it should not be lasting as long as it does. You may even know that the relationship your end should end and you don’t know why you haven’t left us yet. Or perhaps you did find a courage and strength to walk away from it but you still wonder if they’ll come back and if things could work out differently or as you hope. Why does this happen?
In this episode, we are looking at why we logically know the relationship should end but why our emotions keep us stuck. And at the end of this episode, you are going to have tips that you could use to move forward.
Feel free to leave a comment in the review section and let me know what your thoughts are on this episode. And don’t forget to share with a friend.
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Every Wednesday, I have a Live on Instagram where I answer questions sent in by followers on that platform. Here is a recorded copy of it.
The questions answered are below. You can also catch the recording on my YouTube channel.
How to bring back an ex in the relationship when she is not ready to come in the relationship with me.
It’s confusing of what to do when someone comes back after 1-2 weeks. How do I respond?
He says he doesn’t know if he can live without me but says he is unable to connect. What should I do?
My fiancé dumped me 8 weeks before marriage. He says we are not compatible. What should I do?
How can you tell why an avoidant reached out after months of no contact?
Why does avoidant discard in friendships hurt as much as romantic relationships?
How to get true reciprocation from my avoidant attached partner instead of breadcrumbs?
I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode.
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Here’s a story you’ve lived before, even if you don’t realize it yet.
You meet someone. The connection is immediate, intoxicating—like a chemical reaction you can’t control. The texts flow effortlessly. The future feels possible. Then, without warning, the shift: one of you pulls back. The other panics. And just like that, you’re locked in the oldest romantic pattern in human psychology—the anxious-avoidant dance.
This isn’t just about bad timing or mismatched feelings. This is about how our earliest experiences wire us to love in ways that hurt.
And if you don’t understand the mechanism, you’ll keep stepping on the same landmine, wondering why it keeps exploding.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode.
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About 10 questions were answered on my usual Wednesday morning Instagram live, which has been uploaded here for your benefit.
Some of the questions answered are👇👇👇
I was discarded/ghosted by my DA bf. It was so good until that. But a day came where he asked for space, which I said okay to. That space turned to ghosting.. We were long distance and I already had a ticket to go see him in about a week, which can’t be canceled. Im not sure how to move forward. I don’t want to push him away more, and I’ve accepted its done. I think? I’m secure enough to say I don’t deserve this, also understand his situation, and also say that his trauma does not excuse his behavior.
I don’t know if I should just visit him as a human being, maybe even get my stuff back.
How long did it take me to heal my anxious attachment style and am I completely healed?
How can I stop bumping into him accidentally on purpose - he lives next door but I am doing it too much?
My partner ghosted me for the past three weeks. Is he aware of how painful this is? Does he have empathy?
Why do avoidants ask for no contact and need for space? Do they come back?
Would two anxious attached persons be a good match?
Can insecure anxious and dismissive avoidant have a successful long term relationship?
Plus more…
I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode.
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today we switched it up a little and decided to share my Instagram Wednesday live answers with you here on this podcast.
Feel free to send me your questions which will be answered on that live and you could also catch the answers here or leave me a comment and let me know your take on this podcast
I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode.
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Is My Ex Posting More on Social Media to Get My Attention?
It’s hard to ignore when your ex suddenly becomes extra active online—posting more selfies, sharing moody quotes, or even liking old photos. You start wondering: Is this for me? Are they trying to send a message? Maybe they’re seeking validation, or perhaps they’re subtly trying to grab your attention because they feel neglected. Social media can become a silent battleground for unspoken needs, and their increased activity might be a sign they want you to notice something.
But before jumping to conclusions, consider the bigger picture. Are they generally more active online, or does it seem targeted (like posting when you’re distant or after an argument)? Some people use social media as an outlet when they’re feeling insecure or disconnected. Instead of reading too much into their posts, the best move might be to focus on what you want right now.
At the end of the day, social media is just a highlight reel, not the full story. If you’re sensing a shift in their behavior, trust your gut—but don’t let assumptions drive your fear to jump in and connect, Espacilly if you want them to show up differently (make a bolder effort to communicate) .
(Thoughts? How does this vibe with your situation?)
I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode.
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You value your independence, need plenty of space, and rarely rely on others—it’s just how you’re wired. But what if your ‘normal’ way of handling relationships is actually pushing love away and leaving you feeling lonelier than ever?
Avoidant attachment might be protecting you in the short term, but it could be sabotaging your deepest connections—and even hurting you in ways you don’t realize.
In this episode, we’ll break down the subtle ways avoidant behaviors damage relationships, why self-reliance can backfire, and most importantly—how to start showing up differently without losing yourself.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode.
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If you’re worried that you’ll never have a secure attachment to be in a relationship, you’re not alone. However, it’s a lie as it’s possible to become securely attached enough to have a healthy and fulfilling relationship.
This episode gives your tops as I share some how I use these tools in my very own relationships.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode.
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Do you find that it’s confusing to know exactly what your partner wants? If your answer is yes, then this is the episode for you.
Welcome to Decoding Attachment Style, the podcast where we dive deep into the art of building healthier, more fulfilling connections - with others and with yourself. Hosted by Annalisa Bahadur, a relationship coach and attachment style expert, this show is your guide to understanding the patterns that shape your relationships and transforming them into sources of joy and growth.
In this episode, I am sharing some of my greatest life lessons that has helped me to build better relationships.
Grab a pen and notebook and your favorite drink.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode.
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Why and Avoidant Attached pulls away when you ask for validation and what you can do. This Podcast addresses that.
Grab your pen and paper because this is going to be a podcast that helps you to give yourself the validation and build a happy and healthy relationship with your Avoidant Attached partner.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode.
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In this episode, we dive into the complexities of navigating boundaries and expectations after a breakup between an anxious and avoidant attachment style.
Join me as we explore the challenges of reaching out, the importance of self-awareness, and how to set healthy boundaries while honoring your emotional needs.
Whether you're reflecting on past relationships or seeking clarity in the present, this episode offers insights into healing and growth after attachment-driven dynamics.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode.
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You’ve probably been trying to set boundaries with your Avoidant Attached partner for a while now, but feel like you’re not getting anywhere. Or perhaps you make a little bit of progress when you’re upset and you see a little bit of change but then things go right back to way they were.
I get it. It’s frustrating. You’ve probably even thought that you can’t do this anymore and you’re probably emotionally exhausted with it all.
This episode talks about why boundary setting isn’t working and how you can actually get it to work.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode.
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Learning about the avoidance attachment,
to
be one of the hottest topics. This episode helps us to uncover everything we need to know about our Avoidant Attached partners.
Feel free to share and comment.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode.
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Many times we think that we have to set our boundaries by speaking up. What I find is that by showing our boundaries we get more results. In this
I
I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode.
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It can be heartbreaking when we are rejected when making an attempt to be physically close to a partner. In this episode, I answer one of your questions on if sexual desires differ as per attachment style, and what to do when a partner rejects your initiations for physical intimacy.
Don’t forget to follow me across social media for more on attachment styles.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode.
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It is frustrating when our partner knows what we need, and they are still unable, sometimes unwilling, to provide that for us. Are they responsible for how we feel and how can we go about our lives in the relationship when they are still unable to step up? This Podcast answers that question.
Another question answered here is, how much does being a premature baby add to our anxious attachment or our avoid attachment.
Feel free to reach out with any question/s you may have.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode.
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We may be adding pressure to the relationship without even realizing it. Sometimes it’s difficult for us to balance our work and our relationship, as relationships by itself is a difficult to navigate and manage. This episode helps us to understand what can go on the mind of an Avoidant Attached person when they’re feeling too overwhelmed, and what may be the reason they may choose to end a relationship. Help us to navigate to our own emotions.
Feel free to follow me across social media for more on attachment and send me your questions that I may answer them.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode.
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Healing, our insecurities, can go a very far away and helping our relationships to flourish. Insecurities can add a burden on the relationship and can lead to an inevitable end.
This podcast covers how we could heal our insecurities which are linked to our attachment styles. This podcast will give you tips and exercises to do as well as explain why these work.
Feel free to follow me across social media for everything related to being more aware of our attachment styles and healing them.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode.
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It can be confusing when you’re with someone who’s got to avoid attachment style and they’re acting like what we believe a narcissist would act like. This episode clears that up for us and helps us to embrace the person with an avoidant attachment style with compassion, and run as far away as we can from someone who’s got a narcissistic personality disorder.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode.
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This is a common phenomenon that most people with an anxious attachment style will experience if they dated someone with an avoidant attachment style. That is of the Avoidant Attached person suddenly running away after a conflict or breaking up. It can be really confusing for their partner and this episode helps us to appreciate why they do it and what we can do.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode.
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This episode helps you to appreciate why and Avoidant Attached person may feel overwhelmed with text messaging and what it means when they don’t respond right away. This episode also helps you to make some decisions through awareness and how to approach texting with an Avoidant Attached partner.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode.
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It’s tricky to know when to reach out to an avoidant attached partner. This episode. helps you to make that decision, but also talks about whites. Important to stay away and what happens in the minds of an avoidant attached partner as they’re taking space. It also helps you to appreciate what you can do in this time.
Feel free to follow me across social media for more attachment styles or you can visit my website for articles.
Feel free to send me your questions and share this episode if you found helpful.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode.
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Avoidance styles play significant role in shaping our behaviors and interactions in relationships. Individuals with an avoidant attachment style, may struggle with intimacy, emotional closeness, leading to challenges and maintaining healthy connections with their partners. One common issue that may arise as infidelity or cheating with Relationship.
Understanding why someone with an avoidant attachment style may cheat requires a closer look at their underlying motivations and behaviors.
This podcast aims to address that question.
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You’re probably trying to understand why it is your partner does not engage in conflict or worse, they walk away when a conflict begins. What can even be a little more confusing as when they return without discussing the problem at all; pretending like it never happened in the first place.
This episode tries to bring about some awareness to what happens in the mind of those with an avoidant attachment style during times of conflict. It’s also aims to share some reasons for their actions.
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We’re all very interested in what happens in the mind of a person who’s got an avoidant attachment style. This podcast may be for you if you’re also one of the many, who is interested in knowing what is going on behind the walls.
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The goal is not to mimic the energy of a golden retriever or a black cat, but embrace our authentic self and build secure attachments that allow us to be vulnerable, connected, and truly seen in our relationships.
If you’d like to know more about this, this is the podcast for you.
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The question is does the attraction return after an avoidant ex partner leaves the relationship. And how long does it take for that attraction to return if it does.
Remember, it’s also important to take into consideration of what the relationship was like and why it ended.
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Subscriber-only episode
In this episode, I share what’s the secret to healing your attachment style and what you’ll gain from it.
You might be confused as to why your avoidant attached partner needs as much space or perhaps why they detach and disappear for days. This episode may shed some light and help you assist them.
If you have an avoidant attachment style and it's kept you from forming meaningful lasting relationship, perhaps this episode will help you manage the fears of opening up to a partner.
Love
Annalisa
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Ghosting is a phenomenon where one person abruptly cuts off all communication with another without any explanation or warning. This can leave the person being ghosted feeling confused, hurt, and rejected. The sudden disappearance of someone they thought they had a connection with can lead to feelings of abandonment and low self-worth. The lack of closure can also leave the person haunted by unanswered questions and doubts about themselves.
Psychologically, ghosting can have a significant impact on a person's mental health. It can trigger feelings of anxiety, depression, and self-doubt, as they struggle to make sense of the sudden rejection. The lack of communication can lead to rumination and overthinking, as the person tries to understand what they did wrong or why they were not worthy of a simple explanation. This can erode their self-esteem and trust in others, making it difficult for them to form new relationships in the future.
The emotional fallout from being ghosted can also manifest in physical symptoms such as insomnia, loss of appetite, and increased stress levels. The sense of betrayal and abandonment can linger long after the ghosting incident, affecting the person's ability to trust and open up to others. It can take time and effort to heal from the psychological damage caused by ghosting, as the person works through their feelings of rejection and learns to rebuild their self-esteem and sense of worth.
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Relationships can be complex, especially when individuals with different attachment styles come together. The dynamic between someone with a secure attachment style and someone with an anxious attachment style can be both challenging and rewarding. Understanding and navigating this relationship dynamic is crucial for fostering a healthy and fulfilling partnership.
In this episode, let's explore the unique dynamics, potential challenges, and strategies for building a strong and supportive relationship between individuals with secure and anxious attachment styles.
Individuals with a secure attachment style typically have a positive view of themselves and their relationships. They are comfortable with intimacy, express their emotions openly, and trust their partners. They provide a sense of stability and security in relationships.
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Individuals with an avoidant attachment style often struggle with forming and maintaining close connections. If left unhealed, this attachment style can pose challenges when it comes to making future plans and can have a profound impact on the potential for a healthy relationship.
In this episode, we will explore why those with avoidant attachment may find it difficult to make plans for the future, how it can affect relationships, and offer potential solutions.
Avoidant attachment style is characterized by a fear of intimacy and a desire for independence. Individuals with this attachment style may have experienced emotional distance or neglect in their early relationships, leading them to develop self-reliance as a coping mechanism. As a result, they may struggle with the idea of making plans for the future that involve emotional investment and vulnerability.
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Have you ever wondered why you seem to attract the same kind of partner repeatedly? It's a common phenomenon many individuals experience and often leaves us questioning our choices and the patterns we find ourselves in.
This short podcast helps us to make some changes to these patterns.
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In the realm of relationships, understanding attachment styles can shed light on the complexities of human behavior. One such attachment style is avoidant attachment, where individuals hide their true selves during the initial stages of a relationship.
This podcast explores why people with avoidant attachment styles exhibit this behavior and the timeline for them to reveal their authentic selves and emotions.
Follow me on Instagram, Tiktok, LinkedIn, and Youtube for more on Understanding and Healing Attachment Style.
Check out my Healing Attachment Styles Podcast - Healing Attachment Styles.
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This is a small insight on the power of truly loving ourselves.
Subscribe to receive updates on everything on attachment, styles and healing, yours, as well as daily insights like these short messages.
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Quick insight into why someone with an avoidant attachment style may feel like a relationship is an obligation.
Subscribe for more insight into attachment styles
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This episode focuses on navigating the push and pull between anxious and avoidant attachment styles.
Join me as we unravel the complexities of these relationships, examining the underlying causes that fuel these contrasting emotional patterns.
We will uncover the hidden truths, shed light on the struggles, and ultimately discover the keys to finding harmony amidst the tension.
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While it can be a challenge to date someone with an avoidant attachment style, understanding why they want to be with you, but are often afraid, can help us relax and not take responsibility for their actions.
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Subscriber-only episode
This podcast episode is designed to support individuals in their journey of growth and healing from past experiences. It offers a variety of techniques and insights that can be helpful in this process. By sharing personal stories, the episode aims to create a sense of connection and empathy, reminding listeners that they are not alone in their struggles. The techniques discussed may include mindfulness practices, journaling exercises, and self-reflection prompts, which can assist in gaining a deeper understanding of oneself and the healing process. Through this episode, listeners can expect to gain new perspectives, find inspiration, and learn practical tools for healing and personal growth.
Don't forget to follow me on Instagram for more
Subscriber-only episode
We are diving deep into managing the energy and effort we give in relationships and setting healthy boundaries.
Are you tired of feeling drained and overwhelmed by the demands of your relationships? Do you find it challenging to strike the right balance between giving and taking?
Let’s talk about how to maintain your energy and set boundaries that promote harmony and well-being in your connections.
Relationships are like delicate ecosystems, and it's crucial to find that sweet spot where both parties feel fulfilled and respected.
This episode will provide practical strategies to identify and manage our energy reserves, ensuring we have enough to offer to those we care about without compromising our own well-being.
Setting boundaries is not about building walls, but rather creating healthy spaces where our relationships can thrive.
We'll also explore real-life scenarios and discuss effective communication techniques that empower us to express our needs while fostering understanding and growth within our relationships.
So, whether you're struggling with boundaries or seeking to enhance your relationship dynamics, this is the episode for your healing.
Subscriber-only episode
Join me on this podcast that delves deep into the transformative power of self-reflection and intentional living during times of emotional healing.
We will explore the importance of taking a pause, exploring our inner selves, and consciously shaping the life we desire, and most importantly, after this program, we will know exactly what we want and how to achieve it.
In a world that often prioritizes hustle and external achievements, it has become progressively essential to slow down, reassess, and connect with our emotional well-being, especially now that we have taken on the task of finally healing and living a life of liberation where we are in control of our path.
Grab your notebook and pen and let's go!
Best wishes.
Annalisa
Subscriber-only episode
When we start a healing journey, it's good to ask for support from others. They can help us in many ways, like giving us support and motivation. However, we need to appreciate who we can turn to.
Starting a healing journey can be exciting but also tough. Having support from others can make a big difference. They can give us support and encouragement, and help us when things get difficult. That being said, we need to know how to ask for what we need, instead of taking advice that may not be in alignment with our wants and needs.
It's also important to think about how they may feel when we start to change on our healing journey. Change can be hard for everyone, not just for us. Our loved ones might be used to the way things were, and our growth might disturb that. So, it is important to be compassionate and kind.
By considering the feelings of others, we can talk to them openly and honestly. We can explain why we need to change and show them that it doesn't mean we don't care about them. We can tell them that we want to improve ourselves while still keeping our connection strong. This way, we can make sure our relationships stay healthy and strong.
So, when we start a healing journey, asking for support can help us a lot. And, it's also important to be considerate of others' feelings. This way, we can all grow and change in a positive and caring way. And in this episode, we do the first thing that anyone does when they want success, find support to grow.
Best of wishes on this path.
Subscriber-only episode
Let's Go!
What you'll get 👇
🦋 Understanding the pain because awareness is key to letting go and healing.
🦋 Healing inner child wounds
🦋 The techniques and strategies to move on and create the life you want
🦋 Embracing a deeper understanding of self and getting introspection for growth, and self-compassion.
🦋 Learning to set boundaries.
🦋 Building resilience and developing coping mechanisms
🦋 Nurturing the right relationships.
🦋 Cultivating a positive future.
A new exercise will be available every week.
What you'll need 👇
A notebook to take notes 🦋
A pen to take notes 💛
A quiet space to take notes 😊
Welcome to "Inside Anxious Minds," where we delve into the intricate labyrinth of thoughts within the mind of an anxiously attached individual. In this podcast, we explore the profound emotions and captivating experiences that define the anxious attachments formed in relationships.
Join us as we learn in the simpliest way ho tot pacify their fears and insecutities.
Join us on this engaging and captivating journey, as we shine a light on what happens in the mind of an anxious attached person, offering solace, relatability, and a path towards embracing vulnerability and creating healthier connections.
Understanding someone with a different attachment style is similar to learning a new language because it requires us to learn new ways of expressing and interpreting emotions, needs, and desires. Just as different languages have their own unique vocabulary and grammar, different attachment styles have their own set of behaviors and patterns.
By learning this "attachment language," we can communicate more effectively with people who have different attachment styles than our own. This understanding allows us to navigate their emotional landscapes, empathize with their experiences, and build stronger and more fulfilling relationships. It is important to know this language because it helps us develop deeper connections and avoid misunderstandings. It allows us to foster empathy, respect, and compassion for others, fostering personal growth and contributing to the overall well-being of both individuals and communities.
In this episode, we dive into the fascinating topic of attachment styles and distinguish between being anxiety-prone due to an anxious attachment style vs. having clinical anxiety. Tune in to gain insights and practical tips for better understanding your own attachment style and managing anxiety in a healthy way.
Disclaimer: any health-related decision you make should be made with a healthcare provider and not based on the thoughts and opinions of this podcast.
In this episode, we will be discussing 5 important steps to begin your healing journey.
✅ Step 1: Recognize Your Attachment Style - The first step to healing is recognizing your attachment style.
✅ Step 2: Communicate Effectively - Communication is one of the pillars of a healthy relationship, especially when healing from attachment styles.
✅ Step 3: Challenge Your Thoughts - Challenging negative thought patterns is essential to healing attachment styles.
✅ Step 4: Practice Self-Care - Practicing self-care should be a priority in your healing journey.
✅ Step 5: Seek Professional Help - If you find it challenging to heal your attachment style- do this.
Welcome to this episode on Healing Attachment Style While in a Relationship!
This podcast focuses on how to heal your attachment style and build a more secure relationship with your partner.
We'll explore the different attachment styles, common challenges that arise in relationships, and ways to overcome them.
So whether you're struggling with intimacy, trust issues, or communication barriers, this episode is for you.
Listen for some practical tips and insights on improving your relationship and your personal growth journey!
It is difficult to manage attachment styles because they tend to be deeply ingrained in our personalities and are often formed during our early childhood years, making it hard to unlearn deep-rooted behaviors.
Attachment styles can affect relationships in a variety of ways, including the levels of trust, communication, and emotional connection one tends to form, thereby impacting the fulfillment and satisfaction of each relationship dynamic.
In this episode, we will explore some tips and strategies to manage our attachment styles
Setting boundaries is different for every attachment style because each attachment style has different needs, fears, and beliefs around relationships. For example, people with an anxious attachment tend to struggle with setting boundaries because they fear abandonment and rely on others for their sense of self-worth. People with avoidant attachments tend to set rigid boundaries and push others away because they fear intimacy and vulnerability.
It is important to set boundaries because it allows us to protect our physical, emotional, and mental health, as well as maintain healthy relationships with others. Without boundaries, we may become overwhelmed, resentful, and taken advantage of, which can lead to feelings of frustration, anger, and disappointment. By setting boundaries, we communicate our needs and expectations to others, build mutual respect, and foster trust in our relationships.
Having a strong, healthy relationship with a partner who has an avoidant attachment style can be a challenging task. However, building strong bonds with your partner, despite their attachment style, is important for several reasons:
✅ Promotes trust: When you understand your partner's attachment style, you can better understand their behaviors and emotions. This knowledge can promote trust between you and your partner, which is crucial for building a strong bond.
✅ Increases emotional intimacy: Building emotional intimacy with your partner can help them feel more secure and less avoidant. It can also make them feel more comfortable with sharing their thoughts and feelings with you.
✅ Positive influence on the relationship: When you work hard to build strong bonds with your partner, it can have a positive impact on the relationship as a whole. Your positive efforts can help combat negative behavior patterns and strengthen the relationship.
✅ Shows commitment: By taking the time to understand and build a bond with your avoidant partner, you are showing your commitment to the relationship. This dedication is essential in creating a long-lasting, fulfilling relationship.
Overall, building strong bonds with your avoidant partner is crucial to promoting emotional intimacy, trust, and a lasting, healthy relationship. With patience, understanding, and hard work, it is possible to build a strong bond with any partner, regardless of their attachment style.
You can leave a comment in the review section if you'd like to help me a little. This helps me to reach a wider audience. 🦋❤️🦋
You can find me on Instagram, Facebook, and Youtube for similar content. And please don't forget to SUBSCRIBE and SHARE🙏
Having a happy and healthy relationship with someone who has an anxious attachment style can take some work, but it is definitely possible! Here are a few tips covered in this podcast:
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Be patient and understanding: People with anxious attachment styles may need more reassurance and validation than others. It's important to be patient and understanding of their needs and avoid taking their need for reassurance personally.
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Communicate openly and honestly: Communication is key in any relationship, but it's especially important when one partner has an anxious attachment style. Make sure to communicate your feelings openly and honestly, while also being receptive to your partner's needs and concerns.
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Build trust: People with anxious attachment styles often struggle with trust issues. Building trust in the relationship can involve being consistently reliable and following through on promises.
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Create a secure attachment: Developing a secure attachment can help ease the anxiety of an anxious partner. This can involve regularly expressing love and affection, listening actively to their concerns, and creating a safe and nurturing environment.
Remember that every relationship is unique, and what works for one couple may not work for another. It's important to be patient, understanding, and open to growth and development in order to have a happy and healthy relationship with someone with an anxious attachment style.
🙏 Please share this podcast and let me know what you think in the review section. I am always looking to improve and provide the best to you.
🦋 You can also find me on TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, and LinkedIn.
Until next time,
Annalisa
If we want a successful and happy relationship, that is also fun, with a person who has an avoidant attachment style, we have to start with empathy and compassion.
This episode covers 👇👇👇
How to heal from our attachment style, and
How to be in a healthy relationship with someone who has an avoidant attachment style.
Maybe you'd want to screenshot this 👇👇👇
🦋 Understand their needs: People with avoidant attachment styles often appear aloof or distant in relationships because they strive to maintain their independence and not become too dependent on others. It's important to understand and respect this need for autonomy and not take it personally if they seem emotionally distant.
🦋 Communicate clearly: Avoidants tend to avoid expressing their feelings openly or getting too close to others. Encourage open and honest communication, giving them space to express themselves in their own way and timing. Calm and constructive discussion works best.
🦋 Set boundaries: While it's important to be understanding of avoidant individuals and their needs, it's also important to set boundaries and communicate what you expect in the relationship. Being clear about your needs and expectations early on maintains clarity, and respect, and reduces misunderstandings.
Your attachment style is like a blueprint for a house you want to build. You need to know what materials, expectations, etc., you need to make sure that the house will stand the test of time. It’s the same for your relationships. You want to understand your attachment style to build a healthy relationship.
By getting to know your attachment style, you can gain insight into how you approach relationships and what you need to feel safe and secure.
Attachment theory was developed by psychoanalyst John Bowlby and his colleague Mary Ainsworth in the 1970s. Their research on child development and parent-child attachment patterns has since been expanded upon by many other researchers. It has become an important framework for understanding relationship dynamics in both childhood and adulthood.
There are four attachment styles, Anxious preoccupied, Dismissive Avoidant, Anxious avoidant, and Secure attachment.
To help you zero in on which you might be, I have listed 12 traits in this podcast for each attachment style.
You may exhibit a couple or few of the behaviors of all the attachment styles, but we are looking for which you have more traits than others.
Remember, this is not a diagnosis but a guide to understanding your attachment and how you can be aware of them to manage your emotions and relationships.
The next episode will talk about how we can heal our attachment style.
Some people break up and jump into another relationship while some sit around waiting for their partner to come back.
Attachment styles matter👇
👉 Secure attached individuals are comfortable with intimacy and feel secure in their relationships. They trust their partners and are able to express their feelings and needs without fear of rejection.
👉 Anxious-preoccupied are individuals are often preoccupied with their relationships and worry about their partner's love and commitment. They may cling to their partners, seek constant reassurance and validation, and become anxious when they feel their partner is not available.
👉 Dismissive-avoidant individuals tend to avoid intimacy and emotional attachment. They may believe that they don't need anyone, suppress their emotions, and often have an easy time ending relationships.
👉Fearful-avoidant (also known as disorganized attachment) can display both anxious and avoidant tendencies. They may want emotional intimacy but are afraid of getting hurt, which can lead to conflicting behaviors and emotional instability.
🦋 This series helps us to understand our attachment style and learning how to heal.
For similar content, you can also find me on Instagram, Facebook, Youtube and Tiktok.
Ever wondered how some relationships last happily for years and some don't? I'm not talking about the ones where you feel you must suck it up to keep the peace. I am talking about the ones where you both feel comfortable asking for what you need and meeting those needs.
Many believe a great relationship means physical closeness, date nights, gifts, and travels (what I call the frills and pretties of a relationship). But what builds a forever bond is how safe that person feels with you.
In this episode, I share the 7 absolute sure ways to communicate effectively for a healthy and long-lasting relationship.
We have an incredible inner radar that tells us when someone is BS-ing us. Yet, we tend to ignore it until we hear ourselves say, "Oh, I knew it."
So what stops us from speaking up or calling them out. Understanding that is the key to taking back control and stopping their manipulation.
Gosh, I don't want to give you another BS "this is the episode for you" line.
The truth is, I don't know if it's the episode for you. Only you will be able to tell by listening. And you tell that by listening to see if you find yourself in my story, if you connect with who I am, if you can like and trust me, and if you feel comfortable with what I say.
What I can tell you now is that I have every intention of uprooting the things you were taught because I don't always color within the lines and I don't think you can either if YOU want to live YOUR life.
I plan on taking you with me on a journey as I question what most of us are expected to do and be. I am all for uprooting beliefs and stirring up thoughts, provoking change and action.
So, if that's your kinda thing; if that's what you want to do, come along with me on this ride.
Please subscribe (if you think you could like and trust me) and maybe you'd like to share this podcast with your circle and tribe. ❤️
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And if I'm not being too annoying, will you please leave me a kind review?
With Love,
Annalisa