Bloody Mary Quilt Society: Recent Episodes
Dr. Kristi Williams Dumas & Dr. Melissa J. Keaton
A dentist and psychologist in rural Appalachia telling stories over their favorite drink. The stories routinely challenge listeners to reflect on ways culture, socialization, and traditions have shaped our lives and the key roles they will play in our future. Two women of very distinct and different cultures who find more similarities than differences with themselves and guests of the podcast.
The hosts discuss back to school time and the adjustments inherent in the event. Dr. Dumas shares a hilarious story about a Picture Day makeover that happens in the junior high bathroom. The transformation was classic and admired by most EXCLUDING her mother.
Dr. Dumas dives into the Black hair care industry around spending and recent trends. She gives a cultural perspective into the significance of hair styling and recounts a tragic story about a salon trip gone terribly wrong. This hilarious episode will make your hair stand on end. Download it today!
Dr. Keaton gives her critique of the Barbie movie that hit theaters last weekend. Both hosts discuss the importance of the themes in the movie, the hilarity of their children, and being respected as women. This episode is filled with emotion and laughter. Download it today!
Dr. Dumas shares childhood memories of visiting her Aunt Loretta who turns out to be the kindest, most giving, and instigating aunt of all times. The hosts laugh about the instances when Auntie Loretta relished in Dr. Dumas' spankings and failed dish washing attempts. The star of the Blonde Biscuits episode strikes again! Get ready to laugh at Kristi's pain.
Both hosts admit to having felt unmotivated as of late. They discuss and process emotions in real time. This unusual episode is sure to cause one to self-reflect and be inspired.
Dr. Dumas talks about her love of holidays and the mishaps that have come along with! It's getting hot in here.
Enjoy the fireworks that go off when UV uses the term rim job in context. You're welcome.
This episode deals with irony and the karma of laughing at someone else's woes. Dr. Dumas discusses her seeming seasonal affective disorder and ways that she prepped for summer in order to make an emotional pivot. The plan to get outside and enjoy nature, to include gardening, was executed. The hosts discuss kayaking, Fridays off, and the thieving hillbilly culprit who stole the first harvest of the season.
Dr. Keaton discloses that she has mini obsessions that last for months or years at a time. She talks extensively about her current obsession with nature and being outside. Dr. Keaton also reminisces about days of frog giggin' with her father and how tasty fried frog legs are. The hosts talk about her search for giggin' supplies and kayaks. Either bring your barf bag or hot sauce and download this episode today.
Dr. Dumas tells the most horrific travel story ever about her recent trip to Cuba with Dark Gable. The hosts discuss the top 10 packing tips and reasons why a number 11 is crucial to easy airport security passage and avoidance of detainment an hour prior to departure. Grab your barf bag and get ready for takeoff.
The hosts share highlights of their long-awaited fishing excursion. The description of the sights and sounds are hilarious on their own, but the escapade that occurs after the fact is even more enticing. The hosts discuss research about rushing and ways that being in a hurry can make a fishing trip end in Confederate flags and terror. If you're brave, download this episode today.
Dr. Dumas shares that she will join the millions of other Memorial Day Travelers this weekend. The hosts discuss which planner packer category they fall in. Dr. Dumas recounts a hilarious story of Dark Gable and his last-minute shenanigans that nearly ruined a huge family trip. Load your suitcases in the car and download this episode today!
Dr. Dumas shares highlights of a recent professional development workshop that caused her inner turmoil. Listen as she unpacks some of the nuggets and bombshells from the presentation. This episode will either cause you to conform or be a rule breaker. Download this episode today.
Dr. Keaton shares her desire to get a late life tattoo. The hosts discuss the research and best practices with making such a commitment at this stage in the game. Smoke Show has made a promise to his eldest child that if not kept, could result in an unfortunate inked situation. Download this gem of an episode today!
The hosts discuss coincidences and whether all things happen for a reason. Dr. Dumas shares research and gives testament to her own experiences during a recent trip to California. Download this episode today and decide whether you are a believer.
The hosts discuss ways that trauma can negatively affect children into adulthood. By popular demand, a full update on UV is given and Dr. Dumas talks about next steps with Dr. Keaton.
The hosts talk about all things wigs, extensions, and toupees. Dr. Dumas talks about her love of fake hair. She explains the need for her Zoom wig and recounts a story of her mother's first weave install. The laughing that occurs during this episode is infectious. Download the episode today!
The hosts take a break from their light-hearted banter to discuss violent behavior in children. Dr. Keaton shares that UV was recently assaulted. The incident is recounted, research on the subject reviewed, and warning signs shared. UV makes an appearance during this episode, and it is a treat indeed. Download this episode today!
Dr. Keaton gives details about courtship with her husband. She shares her recipe for a healthy relationship to include their unusually romantic gift-giving. This episode is full of juicy nuggets of information you'll likely never use. Download it today!
Dr. Dumas recalls courting her husband while he lived in New York. She discusses places and things about the city she loves and those she despises. Both hosts laugh about her time on Canal Street and instances she thought she would have to run for her life. Download this funny episode today!
Dr. Keaton talks about the contrast between she and her children when it comes to academic achievement and motivation. Both hosts share their disdain for algebra and recount the zero times that they've used it since junior high and high school. Dr. Keaton tells the hilarious story of her father's fateful brush with calculus. Download this equation of an episode today!
Dr. Dumas talks about her long bout with claustrophobia. The ways this anxiety disorder has affected her throughout the course of her life is the premise for her unalive wishes. As she reflects on her life, she realizes that she has uncannily dated her share of morticians. Hearing her recount dates with these individuals is quite hilarious. Dr. Dumas also gives one of the funniest episode updates ever. Be prepared to laugh and download this episode immediately.
Do all children attempt to cleverly get away with using bad language or saying naughty things? The hosts certainly believe that they do. Dr. Keaton shares a series of instances where her children attempt to get away with some unmentionables. Both hosts discuss the research that correlates cussing and IQ. You're probably so much smarting than you think. This hilarious episode is one you don't want to miss.
Dr, Dumas recounts the precious memories of Easters past, to include her yearly crying bouts around the family Easter Egg Hunt. The hosts share laughs about the Easter Egg Hunt that took place a couple years ago where children were knocked down and lightly trampled. They share their excitement about the prospect of an adult hunt this year. Grab your Easter bonnet and download this episode today.
The hosts discuss the exorbitant amount of money that is spent on weddings. The research reveals a wedding spending chart that has both hosts a gasp! Dr. Keaton shares details of her most fruitful and enjoyable wedding to date. Bring your rice to throw (we know rice is no longer PC) and download this hilarious episode today.
A pair of very sick hosts struggle through this episode. They discuss puberty, pubic hairs, and Ultra Swoll's first Valentine. There's a new app going around, and Dr. Dumas wants in. Put your masks on and download this episode today!
Dr. Keaton tells a hilarious story of parenting gone wrong. Dr. Dumas repeatedly threatens in jest to call "the people" for the parenting faux pas, all of which will have you in stitches. Follow us for more parenting tips....or not. Download this episode today.
The story of David and Goliath has nothing on the tale of Ultra Swoll vs. the Men of Mont Calm. Dr. Dumas recounts the fateful game between the two teams that left folks in the stands shocked and bewildered. Grab your favorite game day snack and download this episode today!
Dr. Keaton talks about how parents become a little less vigilant with the care of their children over time, particularly when there are multiple kids in the household. She also shares how a seemingly small tumble results in rainbow feet. This episode proves what a trooper UV is and how hilarious parenting faux pas can be. Download this episode today!
Dr. Keaton discusses the minimalist vs. maximalist continuum she lives her life on with her husband. She talks about ways that she and Smoke Show complement each other and life adjustments that have been made by both of them. Dr. Keaton recounts pregnancy with a minimalist and times that she flatly had to put her foot down and request more. Plenty of laughs in this episode!
Dr. Dumas shares a couple of highlights from her recent trip to Africa. The hosts make contrasts and comparisons to life in the States. Dr. Dumas discusses the fact that there are no traffic rules and getting around the city was quite the adventure. Soak up some of this culture and download this hilarious episode today!
Dr. Keaton shares fond memories of time spent with her dad. She discusses middle child syndrome and her fall from hunting grace. Dr. Keaton also discloses the most sadistic and concerning performance of her life. This hair-raising episode is like a page out of the Silence of the Lambs. Download it if you dare!
Bloody Mary Quilt Society celebrates the one-year anniversary of the show's existence. The hosts take a look back and highlight their favorite episodes. Reminiscing and laughing is surely medicine for the soul. Download this history making episode today!
Dr. Dumas shares the five things she knew would routinely happen on any given Sunday morning as a child. The hosts discuss the research on the debate regarding small children attending and being part of the adult worship experience. This episode is full of laughs and good cheer. Download this episode today! Oh, and Merry Christmas from BMQS.
Dr. Keaton discusses fashion and hair trends that she never thought would come back around until a recent phenomenon hit her house. Lots of laughs in this episode. In fact, it's hair raising. Download today!
In Appalachia we don't say wrestling, we say wrasslin'. Dr. Dumas shares research about parents behaving badly at sporting events and tells the real version of the shenanigans that happened at Ultra Swoll's basketball game that had the whole town talking. Strap on your protective gear and download this episode today.
Dr. Keaton shares stories of her youngest daughter and her challenges adjusting to being part of a blended family. Apparently, the family is not quite blended enough and she uses her big imagination to remedy the problem. Take out the family photo album and download this episode today.
Dr. Dumas tells another funeral story and shares research about acceptable items to bury with the departed. You will be hard-pressed to find the item she saw in the casket at this fateful funeral on the research list. Grab your hot sauce and download this episode today!
Dr. Keaton shares a story of heroism gone wrong when her family steps up to save a cat. It's a tail of good intentions with a twisted ending and fat vet bill. Get the kitty litter and download this episode today!
Dr. Dumas talks about fond memories of Thanksgiving. Both hosts compare traditional dishes served on the holiday and continue the discussion of dressing vs. stuffing. Dr. Dumas shares a story about biscuit making that is one for the ages. Grab the CANberry sauce and download this episode today!
Dr. Dumas tells the story about why she became a pescatarian. She recounts the fateful class working with her most feared species and what she calls one of the most traumatizing periods of her life. Download this episode today!
Dr. Keaton talks about the rough transition from high school to college and the rude awakening in her algebra class. She recounts a conversation with her father that eased her pain and helped get her through the semester. You'll be inspired. Download this episode today!
Dr. Dumas shares the story of a truth or dare game between she and her cousin that spanned years of time. The outlandish dares should have embarrassment both players, but clearly did not. This is yet another episode where the giggles get going and the hosts can't stop. This hilarious episode is a must listen.
Dr. Keaton tells the story of the unexpected tournament win that caused her real family plans to get put on hold. Both hosts point out differences in their sports histories and interests. Plenty of laughs in this episode. Put on your favorite fan gear and download today!
The hosts rehash a recent active shooter situation at a local festival. Dr. Dumas takes issue with FEMA's Active Shooter Worksheet that lists the Do's and Don'ts of a real time incident. She also tells a story about an active shooter situation she was in years ago that had a humorous and safe ending. Strap on your bullet proof vest and download this episode today.
Dr. Keaton educates her cohost and listeners about a cherished family pastime, jeepin'. She recounts a specific off roading adventure gone very wrong. It was a squiggle on the map that turns into a hair-raising caper. Buckle your seatbelts and download this episode today.
Dr. Dumas shares one of her favorite activities that is as Appalachian as it gets...canning. She talks about her love of preserving food and making delicious things for her family to enjoy, particularly during the winter months. She also talks about the fateful night she attempted to teach Dr. Keaton to can and how the lesson went to hell in a handbasket full of mason jars very quickly. Pour yourself some shine and download this episode today!
Dr. Dumas recounts an incident that occurred a week ago, of all places, in the Sprint store. The hosts take a deep dive into the opioid epidemic and ways that is has affected their lives, work, and the community. While this episode is a break from their lighthearted banter, the hosts believe this episode is both transformative and needed. Let's break the stigma. It's okay to not be okay. Download this episode today.
Dr. Keaton talks about the cultural nuances of being a transplant in Appalachia. The hosts laugh heartily about Smoke Show's encounters with the locals while exercising in totally obscure places. Dr. Dumas shares the account of Dark Gable's first winter in the mountains and the natives that helped him out of a ditch. Grab your toilet paper and download this episode today!
Dr. Dumas shares the ongoing quandary with her cell phone carrier (Sprint) and their new merger with T-Mobile. She also recounts a failed attempt to keep her composure during her most recent store visit. Both hosts discuss the cost of staying in the trenches with the service provider until the predicted comeback. Weigh in on this national dilemma. Download this hilarious episode without delay.
Dr. Keaton shares memories of game night gone wrong. The hosts play a little guessing game of their own. The whole episode takes an unexpected turn that only Melissa sees coming. Draw your cards and download this episode today!
Dr. Dumas shares the story of the night that she and a group of friends decided to smoke cigars on the pier. The night did not go as planned. She recounted the many nights spent hanging out at Starbucks and engaging in deep conversation with coffee drinkers of interesting backgrounds and professions. The recounted naked sightings make this episode particularly intriguing and hilarious.
After an out-of-town date night, Dr. Keaton considers the difference between pre and post COVID travel. The hosts discuss how scary buffets can be these days and losing boyfriends over enjoying a night at the strip club. Monkey urine and monkey sperm are standout topics in this episode.
Dr. Dumas reads an excerpt from her new book Unstuck: Moving Toward Your Ideal Lifeand talks transparently about the mentally abusive relationship at her previous job. She explains how this adverse lived experience stunted her momentum for other important endeavors in her life and makes a plea to all listeners to stand in their truth, take risks, and make moves afraid. Be motivated, validated, and inspired by downloading this episode today!
Dr. Keaton shares the intimate details of some first dates, including the one with Smoke Show. The hosts discuss research about first impressions and speed dating. This hilarious episode takes a trip back in time to the early days of popular dating websites and Smoke Show's failed attempt to join E Harmony. Download this mostly Rated PG-13 episode immediately!
Dr. Dumas recounts the two times she met her celebrity crushes. There is one particular incident that is bound to get her in all types of trouble. The hosts discuss the research regarding the rise of celebrity worship worldwide and make some declarations about their own fan-girldom. We are clear that fan-girldom is not a word, but since when has that stopped us? Download this comical episode today.
Dr. Keaton shares stories about generational sibling fighting and the fateful day her younger sister gained the upper hand...or leg as it were. Both hosts discuss ways that sibling relationships tend to shape our view of the world and constitute some of the best relationships in our lives. Listen in as they discuss "The Curse".
Dr. Dumas tells a story about visiting a church where chicken was being cooked during the service and caused quite the distraction. The hosts discuss proper seasoning and whether or not to wash chicken before cooking. Also discussed are mojitos, pickle backs, and hangovers. Grab your hot sauce and download this episode today!
Dr. Dumas shares the story of how Ultra Swoll earns his beloved PS5 gaming system by solving the Rubik's Cube he was gifted for Christmas. The new school tactics he used proved to be too much for his old school parent. Lessons were learned all the way around. Downloading this episode is not a puzzle, do it today!
Dr. Keaton shares stories about phobias of friends and family. She expounds on prime reasons not to smash spiders and signs of true friendship and love. This is not an episode for the faint of heart, so we know it is perfect for you. Download this thriller today.
Dr. Dumas recounts the fateful night that she got ejected as a fan from Ultra Swoll's baseball game. With transparency and vulnerability, she talks about her failed attempt to keep her cool. The hosts discuss personal summers, the change, and sweaty balls. Yet another episode that takes a drastic and unpredicted turn. Turn up the air conditioning and download this episode.
Dr. Keaton talks transparently about the element that makes her marriage to Smoke Show work. She also candidly describes the night she was proposed to and her initial public proposal decline. The episode takes a swift turn from rated PG-13 to X rated before the hosts knew what happened. Thiis is not an episode to be missed.
Dr. Dumas shares a wacky funeral story that takes place while she is pregnant, irritated, and hot! Both discuss the need for emergency purse snacks, drive-thru crematoriums, mostly healthy couple relationships. This episode takes you on a wild ride. Buckle up and download this episode today.
Dr. Keaton tells a hair-bending and hilarious story about the unpredictable weather of Appalachia and a social gathering gone wrong. The hosts address the cultural differences in storm behavior and potato salad making. Grab your storm gear and download this episode today.
Dr. Dumas shares a hilarious story about how she and a group of friends followed a televangelist and ultimately got escorted out of a church for un-Christian-like behavior. I mean WWJD? Put on your Sunday best and prepare to laugh until tears flow. We promise you'll be blessed.
Dr. Keaton tells a story about the day that Smoke Show sustained a serious hand injury. To his dismay, the battle scar was not commensurate with the trauma experienced and also forced him to give up his dream and all the cream that comes with the life of a professional bowler. You're invited to sit at the cool kids' table and download the episode with us.
Dr. Dumas recounts an adverse lived experience from her adolescent years when she and her family got stuck during a storm in Oklahoma. It was during this time that she learned that her mother packed a punch like Mike Tyson and that pizza makes a great peace offering. Grab your storm gear and download this episode today. Make sure you stick around for just one more horse.
Dr. Keaton tells the funniest love story you'll ever hear. It is the fateful meeting of her sister and brother-in-law at the Sprint store. During the conversation, Dr. Keaton displays her music prowess and hip-hop knowledge all acquired while nestled in the Appalachian Mountains, much to Dr. Dumas' surprise. The laughter in this episode is palatable. If you're a sucker for a good love story...or not...download this episode immediately.
Dr. Dumas tells another funeral story. This caper involves the grossly inappropriate behavior of she and her cousin at their great uncle's homegoing service. Their complete and utter shenanigans lead to their near expulsion from the funeral home chapel. The moral of the story is: stay cool. Grab your tissue and download this episode today!
The hosts share hilarious updates about previous episode storylines. They use made up words while bringing listeners up to speed with the latest happenings. Dr. Keaton uses sound effects that cause both hosts to become unglued with infectious laughter that completely derails the episode. The conscious decision was made not to edit the derailment. Don't blame us when your side aches from laughter. Take a listen!
The hosts welcome April Elkins-Batke, a local leader and advocate who lives with anxiety. She talks about her experience through the years with different medications, working collaboratively with her primary care physician, and finding alternative coping mechanisms that assist in mediating symptoms. April gives profound analogies to paint the picture of anxiety and give the listener vivid illustrations to conceptualize the anxious mind. Sit for a spell and download this episode today!
This is the third installment of our mental health series. Dr. Keaton talks about her journey with depression. She completely leans into vulnerability with her account of challenges in her medical program to present-day depressive episodes. Her message is one of hope, resiliency, and courage. This is our most raw episode to date. Grab your tissue and download this inspiring episode today.
The hosts continue the mental health series with a special in-studio guest, Michelle Bez. Michelle is a physician assistant with a background in psychiatry. During the episode she shares her own mental health journey including unhelpful prescriptions, inaccurate diagnosis, mania, depression, and extreme loss. Her transparency is both inspiring and impactful. There are so many layers to this episode that you may listen twice, and that is totally allowed!
This is the inaugural episode of the mental health series of the podcast. Dr. Dumas kicks off the series by talking about the challenges she faced as a child and adult with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder and the ways she turned challenge into triumph as an adult who thrives. She spills the beans about her upcoming book and gives tips on how to live your best life despite the disorder. You'll laugh, cry, and relate to this episode!
The hosts welcome guest, Christopher Ross. He's an attorney, avid board gamer, and father of young twins. He presents his case in the court of public opinion about his answer to the Tooth Fairy quandary. It is quite the concept, and it incites great conversation, laughs, and walks down memory lane.
Smoke Show returns! Dr. Keaton discusses Smoke Show's one and only fishing trip that causes hiccups in an employment background check and earns him the ultimate gangsta rap stage name. Grab your fishing poles and see what we can catch in this episode.
The hosts celebrate their inaugural guest, Amy Osgood, Esq. in the episode. The three discuss Appalachian culture, cemetery etiquette, and the lick test for medication management. Buckle up, you're in for a bumpy ride!
The hosts discuss how they came up with the name for the podcast. Dr. Dumas shares the cultural influence of quilts in her family and how it led to her extensive quilt collection. She gives the intimate details of her quilt funeral and her wildly humorous failed attempt to learn the art of quilting. Cover up, you're in for a patchy ride. Pun intended.
Dr. Keaton shares her life-long journey of body acceptance and self-love. The hosts share research about body positivity, declare everyBODY as beautiful, and dissect this topic as only they can. Press pause on your diet and download this episode!
Ultra Swoll becomes fed up with collective punishment at school and takes matters into his own hands. From diss tracks to awkward family meetings, this episode has something for everyone. Take a recess and download today!
The hosts discuss the notion that the United States is no longer in an employer's market. COVID has changed the landscape of how we conduct day-to-day operations. Dr. Dumas discusses her company and the woes of trying to hire individuals at the beginning of the pandemic. She recounts a working relationship that went down the toilet. You're one flush away from hysterical laughter. Download the episode today!
The hosts find humor in a serious topic. Dr. Keaton shares the traumatic experience of Smoke Show (her husband) having been diagnosed with a brain tumor. Jell-O shots, costumes, and mountainous terrain make for an eventful Halloween night. Get stung by this episode and download today!
The hosts celebrate the beginning of the Second Season with a discussion about culture; most specifically, ridiculous traditions around death and dying. Dr. Dumas tells a story that proves impossible for the hosts to contain their laughter. The episode is morbidly uproarious and highlights funeral trends that need to die. Pun intended. Pull out your black funeral attire and download the episode!
The hosts end the first season with a hysterical discussion about food boundaries and ways to have your meal leftovers respected. Dr. Keaton's husband has given her permission to tell the infamous Funnel Cake story on two conditions. To hear the conditions and the fate of the coveted funnel cake, bring your tastebuds, and download the episode. It is anything but stale!
The hosts discuss the science of karma and the value of pro-social behavior. Dr. Dumas shares a story of an incident in church that supports the research and validates the notion that when praises go up, blessings AND wigs come down. Put on your Sunday best and meet us at the chapel for this episode. And let the church say.... Amen!
The hosts discuss Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) that they can laugh about as adults. Dr. Keaton shares a story about her pet hamster and the hosts comically and cleverly address the importance of appropriate adjustment, standing up to bullies, having a good support system, and healthy adult experiences to counterbalance the shenanigans of the past. This Barbie van is headed off into the sunset. Get it, buckle up, and enjoy the ride!
The hosts discuss messages sent to them as children that often prevent them from taking risks that result in deeper perspectives. Dr. Dumas tells a story about pushing herself outside of her comfort zone, which is presumably where most people grow, learn, and become better versions of themselves. After defying the odds and taking the risk, she questions whether it was worth it as the experience leaves her, shall we say....exposed! Put your children to bed, pour yourself an adult libation, and enjoy this mature episode.
Listen to a discussion about the adjustments that come with becoming a caregiver for an aging parent who moves into the home of one of the hosts. What happens when the person having the hardest adjustment is the spouse? Well, you get raised voices, choice words, bell ringing, and missing chihuahuas. Download and enjoy!
Sibling rivalries are common in most families. The struggle for children to individuate and securely find their place in the family unit can be challenging. Some children actually mature to adulthood with minimal trauma. Such is not the case for Dr. Dumas. She shares a story of her childhood that is hair-raising to say the very least. A night before a huge singing performance leaves her feeling less like Beyonce. Listen and enjoy!
Dr. Keaton tells an Appalachian family story about a hard lesson learned regarding direct communication. The story sparks conversation between the hosts about the messages society sends around the need to avoid difficult content and be less than genuine in our interactions. A fateful trip to a local Dairy Queen as a child serves as the backdrop for this episode and gives context to a recent situation in Dr. Keaton's balloon boutique business that at the end of the day really just.... popped! Listen and enjoy.
The hosts introduce themselves in this inaugural episode and tell stories about their woes of morphing into their parents. They take a crack at the Nature vs. Nurture debate and commiserate about parenting gone very, very wrong. Enjoy the Appalachian story tellers!