Unlearned: Recent Episodes
Jaime Mahler and Ca Rhoades
We hear a lot about consent in a sexual context, but what about the other places it shows up? Jaime and CA explore the nuance of consent and what it means in regards to our relationships and how we show up for our partners, friends, and family. Also - Come to our first ever in person retreat “The Spiritual Soma Release Retreat:” buy.stripe.com/14k5ldd0n1tQ51e6oFSupport the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club: https://www.patreon.com/unlearnedOrder Jaime’s book “TOXIC RELATIONSHIP RECOVERY,” today! It is available in paperback, as an audiobook (read by Jaime, herself), and as an e-book. https://bit.ly/43Ka8kENotes: We’re back! Our first ever in person retreat! FRIES in Consent Where curiosity and enthusiasm come into play Fuck yes vs yes energy How our consent is perceived Why people resist “I guess” Where people pleasing comes into play Strategies to consenting properlyLinks: Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club: https://www.patreon.com/unlearned FREEBIE! Intention Prompts: http://tinyurl.com/Intentionprompts CA’s Voxer Coaching: http://tinyurl.com/434fs8zd Jaime’s Coaching: https://recollectedself.com/workwithme Follow the podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theunlearnedpodcast/ Jaime’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/recollectedself/ Jaime’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@recollectedself CA’s Instagram: https://www.secure.instagram.com/embracingdivergence/ CA’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@embracingdivergence Email us topics/suggestions: unlearned@recollectedself.com International Suicide Hotlines: https://blog.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlinesNational Suicide Hotline: Call:988Text: 988 Website:https://988lifeline.org/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=web&utm_campaign=onebox Lifeline Options For Deaf + Hard of Hearing For TTY Users: Use your preferred relay service or dial 711 then 988.Over 50 Club! Amanda B. Plamen S. Rachel S. (Her Petstagram: @mini_carlo_pinscher)
Social media is filled with nostalgia and it can be a lot of fun. But what happens when you look at the shared childhood experiences of others and think to yourself, “that wasn’t me?” Join CA and Jaime as they explore what life looks like for those of us who have had to, more or less, raise ourselves. Is being a latchkey kid something we need to heal from? Listen in and find out.
Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club: https://www.patreon.com/unlearned
Come to our first-ever in-person retreat: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfrd6U-OtzJdV1OePJLKqnOVYlwuGfwugZs--fSN1UQIi8GIA/viewform
Order Jaime’s book “TOXIC RELATIONSHIP RECOVERY,” today! It is available in paperback, as an audiobook (read by Jaime, herself), and as an e-book. https://bit.ly/43Ka8kE
Notes:
- Jaime’s struggles with memory around her childhood
- CA’s struggles with not having a carefree childhood
- What happens when you don’t remember your childhood like other people do
- Parentification - what it is and what it means
- How parentification affects development
- Latchkey kids and how they cope
- Why we need to connect with ourselves and find our needs
- Healing from our childhood trauma
- Understanding and embracing your inner child
- Using your inner child was a parent
Links:
- Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club: https://www.patreon.com/unlearned
- FREEBIE! Intention Prompts: http://tinyurl.com/Intentionprompts
- CA’s Voxer Coaching: http://tinyurl.com/434fs8zd
- Jaime’s Coaching: https://recollectedself.com/workwithme
- Follow the podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theunlearnedpodcast/
- Jaime’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/recollectedself/
- Jaime’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@recollectedself
- CA’s Instagram: https://www.secure.instagram.com/embracingdivergence/
- CA’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@embracingdivergence
- Email us topics/suggestions: unlearned@recollectedself.com
- International Suicide Hotlines: https://blog.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlinesNational Suicide Hotline: Call:988Text: 988
- Website:https://988lifeline.org/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=web&utm_campaign=onebox
- Lifeline Options For Deaf + Hard of Hearing For TTY Users: Use your preferred relay service or dial 711 then 988.
Over 50 Club!
- Amanda B.
- Plamen S.
- Rachel S. (Her Petstagram: @mini_carlo_pinscher)
Jaime and CA continue their series on insecure attachment styles with a discussion on the anxious-attachment style. This time, Jaime opens up about her experiences as someone who naturally falls under this category.
Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club: https://www.patreon.com/unlearned
Order Jaime’s book “TOXIC RELATIONSHIP RECOVERY,” today! It is available in paperback, as an audiobook (read by Jaime, herself), and as an e-book. https://bit.ly/43Ka8kE
Part 1
Ep. 39: The Justification Trap
Notes:
- The most difficult part of attachment healing
- How anxious-attachment types deal with discomfort in a relationship
- The signs of an anxious-attached person
- Why anxious attachment starts with “never being good enough”
- Roleplaying anxious-attachment
- What causes anxious-attachment people to spiral
- Steps you can take to heal from being anxious-attachment
- The importance of clear and direct communication
Links:
- Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club: https://www.patreon.com/unlearned
- FREEBIE! Intention Prompts: http://tinyurl.com/Intentionprompts
- CA’s Voxer Coaching: http://tinyurl.com/434fs8zd
- Jaime’s Coaching: https://recollectedself.com/workwithme
- Follow the podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theunlearnedpodcast/
- Jaime’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/recollectedself/
- Jaime’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@recollectedself
- CA’s Instagram: https://www.secure.instagram.com/embracingdivergence/
- CA’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@embracingdivergence
- Email us topics/suggestions: unlearned@recollectedself.com
- International Suicide Hotlines: https://blog.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlinesNational Suicide Hotline: Call:988Text: 988
- Website:https://988lifeline.org/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=web&utm_campaign=onebox
- Lifeline Options For Deaf + Hard of Hearing For TTY Users: Use your preferred relay service or dial 711 then 988.
Over 50 Club!
- Amanda B.
- Plamen S.
- Rachel S. (Her Petstagram: @mini_carlo_pinscher)
We’re back!
CA and Jaime return from their hiatus with a series on insecure attachment styles. In this episode, they explore the Avoidant-Attachment style both from a clinical standpoint and from a personal standpoint via CA’s experiences.
Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club: https://www.patreon.com/unlearned
Order Jaime’s book “TOXIC RELATIONSHIP RECOVERY,” today! It is available in paperback, as an audiobook (read by Jaime, herself), and as an e-book. https://bit.ly/43Ka8kE
Notes:
- Happy Anniversary! We’re back!
- Please consider supporting the show
- Defining the four main attraction styles (Secure attachment, Anxious-ambivalent attachment, Anxious-avoidant, and Disorganized/disoriented attachment)
- Where all insecure attachment styles come from
- How does someone develop avoidant-attachment?
- Why opposite attachment styles seem to be attracted to one another
- CA’s journey as someone with avoidant-attachment style
- How avoidant-attachment shows up in relationships
- How to heal and form a healthy attachment style
Links:
- Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club: https://www.patreon.com/unlearned
- FREEBIE! Intention Prompts: http://tinyurl.com/Intentionprompts
- CA’s Voxer Coaching: http://tinyurl.com/434fs8zd
- Jaime’s Coaching: https://recollectedself.com/workwithme
- Follow the podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theunlearnedpodcast/
- Jaime’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/recollectedself/
- Jaime’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@recollectedself
- CA’s Instagram: https://www.secure.instagram.com/embracingdivergence/
- CA’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@embracingdivergence
- Email us topics/suggestions: unlearned@recollectedself.com
- International Suicide Hotlines: https://blog.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlinesNational Suicide Hotline: Call:988Text: 988
- Website:https://988lifeline.org/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=web&utm_campaign=onebox
- Lifeline Options For Deaf + Hard of Hearing For TTY Users: Use your preferred relay service or dial 711 then 988.
Over 50 Club!
- Amanda B.
- Plamen S.
- Rachel S. (Her Petstagram: @mini_carlo_pinscher)
Are dissociation and disengagement the same thing? Is it ever healthier to more or less walk away to protect yourself? In this episode, CA and Jaime explore both dissociation and disengagement, using the analogy of a snowstorm. Join us to discover when we need to tough it out, put on a coat, or stay inside.
Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club: https://www.patreon.com/unlearned
Order Jaime’s book “TOXIC RELATIONSHIP RECOVERY,” today! It is available in paperback, as an audiobook (read by Jaime, herself), and as an e-book. https://bit.ly/43Ka8kE
Notes:
- Emotional Support water bottles and missing walls
- The difference between consciously and respectfully disengaging and dissociation
- Is there a way to healthily disengage when there is too much pain?
- The mistakes we make while learning to protect ourselves in a good way
- What happens if the other person isn’t safe
- Learning to trust your limits in a healthy way
Links:
- Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club:https://www.patreon.com/unlearned
- FREEBIE! Intention Prompts: http://tinyurl.com/Intentionprompts
- CA’s Voxer Coaching: http://tinyurl.com/434fs8zd
- Jaime’s Coaching: https://recollectedself.com/workwithme
- Follow the podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theunlearnedpodcast/
- Jaime’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/recollectedself/
- Jaime’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@recollectedself
- CA’s Instagram: https://www.secure.instagram.com/embracingdivergence/
- CA’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@embracingdivergence
- Email us topics/suggestions: unlearned@recollectedself.com
- International Suicide Hotlines: https://blog.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlinesNational Suicide Hotline: Call:988Text: 988
- Website:https://988lifeline.org/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=web&utm_campaign=onebox
- Lifeline Options For Deaf + Hard of Hearing For TTY Users: Use your preferred relay service or dial 711 then 988.
Over 50 Club!
- Amanda B.
- Plamen S.
- Rachel S. (Her Petstagram: @mini_carlo_pinscher)
We all know that healing isn’t linear, but there does tend to be a moment when a corner is turned - where we begin to live our life again. What do we do then? Season 1 of the show focused on healing and trauma recovery. Join Jaime and CA as they introduce Season 2, which will focus on what happens after.
Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club: https://www.patreon.com/unlearned
Order Jaime’s book “TOXIC RELATIONSHIP RECOVERY,” today! It is available in paperback, as an audiobook (read by Jaime, herself), and as an e-book. https://bit.ly/43Ka8kE
Notes:
- Introducing Season 2 - Life After Healing
- What trauma healing really looks like
- Societal beliefs and trauma recovery
- Why should you learn and then honor your thresholds
- How it feels to shift out of survival mode
- How to approach recovery safely
- Honoring your body and mind during the recovery process
Links:
- Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club:https://www.patreon.com/unlearned
- FREEBIE! Intention Prompts: http://tinyurl.com/Intentionprompts
- Follow the podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theunlearnedpodcast/
- Jaime’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/recollectedself/
- Jaime’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@recollectedself
- CA’s Instagram: https://www.secure.instagram.com/embracingdivergence/
- CA’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@embracingdivergence
- Email us topics/suggestions: unlearned@recollectedself.com
- International Suicide Hotlines: https://blog.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlinesNational Suicide Hotline: Call:988Text: 988
- Website:https://988lifeline.org/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=web&utm_campaign=onebox
- Lifeline Options For Deaf + Hard of Hearing For TTY Users: Use your preferred relay service or dial 711 then 988.
Over 50 Club!
- Amanda B.
- Plamen S.
- Rachel S. (Her Petstagram: @mini_carlo_pinscher)
In this episode, CA and Jaime explore how relationships can serve as protective factors for trauma processing and healing. Especially relationships in which we are not merely tolerated, but rather accepted and, ideally, celebrated.
Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club: https://www.patreon.com/unlearned
Order Jaime’s book “TOXIC RELATIONSHIP RECOVERY,” today! It is available in paperback, as an audiobook (read by Jaime, herself), and as an e-book. https://bit.ly/43Ka8kE
Notes:
- Sweater weather!
- Changing energy and changing seasons
- What are protective factors and how do they affect us?
- Beginning the process of processing trauma
- How relationships can be protective factors for trauma processing
- What normal relationships look like
- The importance of knowing whether you are being tolerated, accepted, or celebrated in a relationship
Links:
- Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club:https://www.patreon.com/unlearned
- FREEBIE! Intention Prompts: http://tinyurl.com/Intentionprompts
- Follow the podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theunlearnedpodcast/
- Jaime’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/recollectedself/
- Jaime’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@recollectedself
- CA’s Instagram: https://www.secure.instagram.com/embracingdivergence/
- CA’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@embracingdivergence
- Email us topics/suggestions: unlearned@recollectedself.com
- International Suicide Hotlines: https://blog.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlinesNational Suicide Hotline: Call:988Text: 988
- Website:https://988lifeline.org/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=web&utm_campaign=onebox
- Lifeline Options For Deaf + Hard of Hearing For TTY Users: Use your preferred relay service or dial 711 then 988.
Over 50 Club!
- Amanda B.
- Plamen S.
- Rachel S. (Her Petstagram: @mini_carlo_pinscher)
Join Jaime and CA as they delve into the complexities of spirituality. They question whether religion has exclusive control over our spiritual experiences, provide a clear definition of spirituality, and dive into the topic of secular spirituality. Additionally, they explore the themes of self-righteousness, self-sovereignty, authority within the spiritual domain, and more.
Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club: https://www.patreon.com/unlearned
Order Jaime’s book “TOXIC RELATIONSHIP RECOVERY,” today! It is available in paperback, as an audiobook (read by Jaime, herself), and as an e-book. https://bit.ly/43Ka8kE
Notes:
- Does religion own spirituality?
- What is spirituality?
- What is secular spirituality?
- An example of an experience of secular spirituality versus an experience of religious spirituality
- Fear-based spirituality and trauma
- The source of spiritual power
- Self-righteousness, self-sovereignty, and authority
Links:
- Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club:https://www.patreon.com/unlearned
- FREEBIE! Intention Prompts: http://tinyurl.com/Intentionprompts
- Follow the podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theunlearnedpodcast/
- Jaime’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/recollectedself/
- Jaime’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@recollectedself
- CA’s Instagram: https://www.secure.instagram.com/embracingdivergence/
- CA’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@embracingdivergence
- Email us topics/suggestions: unlearned@recollectedself.com
- International Suicide Hotlines: https://blog.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlinesNational Suicide Hotline: Call:988Text: 988
- Website:https://988lifeline.org/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=web&utm_campaign=onebox
- Lifeline Options For Deaf + Hard of Hearing For TTY Users: Use your preferred relay service or dial 711 then 988.
Over 50 Club!
- Amanda B.
- Plamen S.
- Rachel S. (Her Petstagram: @mini_carlo_pinscher)
Join CA and Jaime as they dive into the concept of "cringe." They'll dissect its nature, explore why it makes us squirm, and reveal how trauma recovery can shift our understanding. Get ready for an eye-opening discussion that will change the way you think about cringe.
Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club: https://www.patreon.com/unlearned
Order Jaime’s book “TOXIC RELATIONSHIP RECOVERY,” today! It is available in paperback, as an audiobook (read by Jaime, herself), and as an e-book. https://bit.ly/43Ka8kE
Notes:
- Super cringy opening
- March Madness - but with kittens!
- What is cringe?
- What can cringe teach us?
- Is it weird or is it a social contract
- When do we begin to feel cringe?
- Where perception comes into play
- The link between cringe and trauma recovery
Links:
- Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club:https://www.patreon.com/unlearned
- FREEBIE! Intention Prompts: http://tinyurl.com/Intentionprompts
- Follow the podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theunlearnedpodcast/
- Jaime’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/recollectedself/
- Jaime’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@recollectedself
- CA’s Instagram: https://www.secure.instagram.com/embracingdivergence/
- CA’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@embracingdivergence
- Email us topics/suggestions: unlearned@recollectedself.com
- International Suicide Hotlines: https://blog.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlinesNational Suicide Hotline: Call:988Text: 988
- Website:https://988lifeline.org/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=web&utm_campaign=onebox
- Lifeline Options For Deaf + Hard of Hearing For TTY Users: Use your preferred relay service or dial 711 then 988.
Over 50 Club!
- Amanda B.
- Plamen S.
- Rachel S. (Her Petstagram: @mini_carlo_pinscher)
Join CA and Jaime as they explore personal evolution with the internationally recognized singer, Audrey Assad. Discover the transformative power of music, delve into profound discussions on faith, suffering, and self-acceptance, and gain valuable insights into the art of living in the moment. Audrey's wisdom and experiences make for a truly inspiring conversation you won't want to miss.
Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club: https://www.patreon.com/unlearned
Order Jaime’s book “TOXIC RELATIONSHIP RECOVERY,” today! It is available in paperback, as an audiobook (read by Jaime, herself), and as an e-book. https://bit.ly/43Ka8kE
Notes:
- Introducing Audrey Assad
- The power of music - specifically with praise and worship music
- Being ok with not having an answer
- OCD and Black-and-White Thinking
- The relationships between Christianity and suffering
- The importance of radical self-acceptance
- Learning to just live for the sake of living
Links:
- Part 1: Ep. 27: Religious Trauma: Part 1
- https://open.spotify.com/episode/0YoXD8jlj6RZ2i3qyUytzr?si=235516c3dd384d13
- Audrey’s New Single: https://ffm.to/betteriscoming
- Her substack: https://thevioletfields.substack.com/
- Monica Martin: Go Easy Kid: https://open.spotify.com/track/50hN4KDpQILZpTejaifHZK?si=CWxhlOreT9aqcaAzgMVMlA
- Website: http://www.audreyassad.com
- Audrey’s Instagram: http://instagram.com/audreyassad
- The liturgists podcast Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/scrupulosity/id903433534?i=1000447501709
- Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/episode/6hXrkFJoM55UKJY9COQsMw?si=Bv2Zj5pST6KrSKbx-AY7Lg
- Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club:https://www.patreon.com/unlearned
- FREEBIE! Intention Prompts: http://tinyurl.com/Intentionprompts
- Follow the podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theunlearnedpodcast/
- Jaime’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/recollectedself/
- Jaime’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@recollectedself
- CA’s Instagram: https://www.secure.instagram.com/embracingdivergence/
- CA’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@embracingdivergence
- Email us topics/suggestions: unlearned@recollectedself.com
- International Suicide Hotlines: https://blog.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlinesNational Suicide Hotline: Call:988Text: 988
- Website:https://988lifeline.org/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=web&utm_campaign=onebox
- Lifeline Options For Deaf + Hard of Hearing For TTY Users: Use your preferred relay service or dial 711 then 988.
Over 50 Club!
- Amanda B.
- Plamen S.
- Rachel S. (Her Petstagram: @mini_carlo_pinscher)
Jaime and CA welcome McKay Orton, a natural beekeeper who has repeatedly gone viral to discuss beekeeping, nature, animals, mental health, and how they intersect.
Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club: https://www.patreon.com/unlearned
Order Jaime’s upcoming book “TOXIC RELATIONSHIP RECOVERY,” today! It will come out on September 5th and is available in paperback, as an audiobook (read by Jaime, herself), and as an e-book. https://bit.ly/43Ka8kE
Notes:
- Introducing McKay Orton
- Bee’s and mental health
- Nature, connection, and improving our wellbeing
- The frequency of curiosity
- Other animals who can help calm you down
- The importance of connecting with nature
- Honey talk
Links:
- McKay’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mckayjo
- McKay’s website: https://mckayjo.com/
Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club:https://www.patreon.com/unlearned * FREEBIE! Intention Prompts: http://tinyurl.com/Intentionprompts * Follow the podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theunlearnedpodcast/ * Jaime’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/recollectedself/ * Jaime’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@recollectedself * CA’s Instagram: https://www.secure.instagram.com/embracingdivergence/ * CA’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@embracingdivergence * Email us topics/suggestions: unlearned@recollectedself.com * International Suicide Hotlines: https://blog.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlinesNational Suicide Hotline: Call:988Text: 988 * Website:https://988lifeline.org/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=web&utm_campaign=onebox * Lifeline Options For Deaf + Hard of Hearing For TTY Users: Use your preferred relay service or dial 711 then 988.
Over 50 Club!
- Amanda B.
- Plamen S.
- Rachel S. (Her Petstagram: @mini_carlo_pinscher)
CA puts Jaime in the hotseat to discuss Jaime's brand new book, "Toxic Relationship Recovery," which comes out tomorrow! Get a behind the scenes look at everything that went into writing (and recording) it before you pick it up yourself!
Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club:https://www.patreon.com/unlearned
Pre-order Jaime’s upcoming book “TOXIC RELATIONSHIP RECOVERY,” today! It will come out on September 5th and is available in paperback, as an audiobook (read by Jaime, herself), and as an e-book. https://bit.ly/43Ka8kE
Notes:
- The story behind Jamie's book
- How did the title come about?
- Why Jaime used the word, "toxic"
- The importance of using the right language
- Describing the format of the book
- Who is the target audience
Links:
- @Gendersauce’s post: https://www.instagram.com/p/CsRZHGQOJe6/
- Check out our newest workshop: How to Relate to the Mother Who Has No Boundaries: https://tinyurl.com/motherworkshop
- Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club:https://www.patreon.com/unlearned
- FREEBIE! Intention Prompts: http://tinyurl.com/Intentionprompts
- Follow the podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theunlearnedpodcast/
- Jaime’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/recollectedself/
- Jaime’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@recollectedself
- CA’s Instagram: https://www.secure.instagram.com/embracingdivergence/
- CA’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@embracingdivergence
- Email us topics/suggestions: unlearned@recollectedself.com
- International Suicide Hotlines: https://blog.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlinesNational Suicide Hotline: Call:988Text: 988
- Website:https://988lifeline.org/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=web&utm_campaign=onebox
- Lifeline Options For Deaf + Hard of Hearing For TTY Users: Use your preferred relay service or dial 711 then 988.
Over 50 Club!
- Amanda B.
- Plamen S.
- Rachel S. (Her Petstagram: @mini_carlo_pinscher)
Are intimacy and sex the same thing? Is skipping right into the “deeper conversations” a good way to create intimacy? How do we actually form intimate relationships with other people? Jaime and CA explore these questions and more as they take a deep dive into intimacy, what it is, how we build it, and why it’s so hard.
Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club:https://www.patreon.com/unlearned
Pre-order Jaime’s upcoming book “TOXIC RELATIONSHIP RECOVERY,” today! It will come out on September 5th and is available in paperback, as an audiobook (read by Jaime, herself), and as an e-book. https://bit.ly/43Ka8kE
Notes:
- Roleplay time!
- Building intimacy versus trying to skip to it
- How do we build intimacy?
- Outs to intimacy
- Building emotional intimacy with yourself
- The dangers of getting too intimate too soon
- Misperceptions about intimacy
- Sex and intimacy
- How mundane conversations can lead to intimacy
Links:
- @Gendersauce’s post: https://www.instagram.com/p/CsRZHGQOJe6/
- Check out our newest workshop: How to Relate to the Mother Who Has No Boundaries: https://tinyurl.com/motherworkshop
- Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club:https://www.patreon.com/unlearned
- FREEBIE! Intention Prompts: http://tinyurl.com/Intentionprompts
- Follow the podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theunlearnedpodcast/
- Jaime’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/recollectedself/
- Jaime’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@recollectedself
- CA’s Instagram: https://www.secure.instagram.com/embracingdivergence/
- CA’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@embracingdivergence
- Email us topics/suggestions: unlearned@recollectedself.com
- International Suicide Hotlines: https://blog.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlinesNational Suicide Hotline: Call:988Text: 988
- Website:https://988lifeline.org/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=web&utm_campaign=onebox
- Lifeline Options For Deaf + Hard of Hearing For TTY Users: Use your preferred relay service or dial 711 then 988.
Over 50 Club!
- Amanda B.
- Plamen S.
- Rachel S. (Her Petstagram: @mini_carlo_pinscher)
In this special bonus episode, CA and Jaime take a deep dive into the Jonah Hill text message situation to explore the importance of standards and boundaries, how and when to have conversations about them, standards versus control, and more.
Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club:https://www.patreon.com/unlearned
Jonah Hill, Sarah Brady Text Messages—Full Transcript: https://www.newsweek.com/jonah-hill-sarah-brady-text-messages-full-transcript-1812193
Notes:
- Background on the Jonah Hill texts
- Why stating your boundaries and standards is actually a good thing
- The differences between boundaries and standards
- The importance of deciding what matters to you before it’s too late
- Core components of standards we should look at in a relationship
- How to have conversations about boundaries and standards
- Clarify! Clarify! Clarify!
- Looking at Jonah Hill’s texts
- Giving away the keys to the car
- Being celebrated vs tolerated
Links:
- Check out our newest workshop: How to Relate to the Mother Who Has No Boundaries: https://tinyurl.com/motherworkshop
- Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club:https://www.patreon.com/unlearned
- FREEBIE! Intention Prompts: http://tinyurl.com/Intentionprompts
- Follow the podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theunlearnedpodcast/
- Jaime’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/recollectedself/
- Jaime’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@recollectedself
- CA’s Instagram: https://www.secure.instagram.com/embracingdivergence/
- CA’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@embracingdivergence
- Email us topics/suggestions: unlearned@recollectedself.com
- International Suicide Hotlines: https://blog.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlinesNational Suicide Hotline: Call:988Text: 988
- Website:https://988lifeline.org/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=web&utm_campaign=onebox
- Lifeline Options For Deaf + Hard of Hearing For TTY Users: Use your preferred relay service or dial 711 then 988.
Over 50 Club!
- Amanda B.
- Plamen S.
- Rachel S. (Her Petstagram: @mini_carlo_pinscher)
Can humor help us heal? Can a joke ever be “too dark?” Join Jaime and CA as they chat with comedian Myles Weber and explore the relationship between comedy and healing on this hilarious and insightful episode.
Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club:https://www.patreon.com/unlearned
Notes:
- Jaime and CA learn how to banter
- Always wear SPF
- Introducing Myles Weber
- Why Jaime is terrible at Dungeons and Dragons
- Why seeking out balance while healing is so important
- The importance of finding people who can be your “coping buddy”
- How Myles learned how to “read the room” professionally
- How Myles figured out how personal they should go
- Can you still be funny if you are no longer traumatized?
Links:
- Check out our newest workshop: How to Relate to the Mother Who Has No Boundaries: https://tinyurl.com/motherworkshop
- Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club: https://www.patreon.com/unlearned
- FREEBIE! Intention Prompts: http://tinyurl.com/Intentionprompts
- Myles’ 1st Special: https://youtu.be/tPvT6_ICxbg
- Myles’ 2nd Special: https://youtu.be/0fbI8Rum58w
- Online Comedy Coaching: greenroomtalk.org
- Myles’ website: mylesweber.com
- Follow the podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theunlearnedpodcast/
- Jaime’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/recollectedself/
- Jaime’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@recollectedself
- CA’s Instagram: https://www.secure.instagram.com/embracingdivergence/
- CA’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@embracingdivergence
- Email us topics/suggestions: unlearned@recollectedself.com
- International Suicide Hotlines: https://blog.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines
- National Suicide Hotline: Call:988 Text: 988
- Website: https://988lifeline.org/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=web&utm_campaign=onebox
- Lifeline Options For Deaf + Hard of Hearing For TTY Users: Use your preferred relay service or dial 711 then 988.
Over 50 Club!
- Amanda B.
- Plamen S.
- Rachel S. (Her Petstagram: @mini_carlo_pinscher)
Suffering has a role in life, but what happens if it takes center stage? CA and Jaime explore how we can break free from looking at our trauma as a main fixture of our identity and learn to let our suffering be a part of who we are and not all of who we are.
Notes:
- The role of suffering in our lives
- Suffering as “part of our lives” vs suffering as the goal
- Is suffering a path to holiness?
- Identifying ourselves with our baggage
- Learning to let go of our trauma story
- “Addiction Does Not Make the Artist”
Links:
- Check out our newest workshop: How to Relate to the Mother Who Has No Boundaries: https://tinyurl.com/motherworkshop
- Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club:https://www.patreon.com/unlearned
- FREEBIE! Intention Prompts: http://tinyurl.com/Intentionprompts
- “Big Magic” by Elizabeth Gilbert: https://www.elizabethgilbert.com/books/big-magic/
- “Rest is Resistance: A MANIFESTO” by Tricia Hersey: https://thenapministry.com/
- “Riptide” by Beartooth: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zv3t0Fvgvik
- “Sunshine” by Beartooth: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eSy-VzkXr2k
- Follow the podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theunlearnedpodcast/
- Jaime’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/recollectedself/
- Jaime’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@recollectedself
- CA’s Instagram: https://www.secure.instagram.com/embracingdivergence/
- CA’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@embracingdivergence
- Email us topics/suggestions: unlearned@recollectedself.com
- International Suicide Hotlines: https://blog.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlinesNational Suicide Hotline: Call:988Text: 988
- Website:https://988lifeline.org/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=web&utm_campaign=onebox
- Lifeline Options For Deaf + Hard of Hearing For TTY Users: Use your preferred relay service or dial 711 then 988.
Over 50 Club!
- Amanda B.
- Plamen S.
- Rachel S. (Her Petstagram: @mini_carlo_pinscher)
Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club: https://www.patreon.com/unlearned
In this incredibly personal and powerful episode, Jaime and CA explore the dark moments in our lives where it can seem impossible to see the light. They also discuss how to be there for someone in those moments, even when you are dealing with stuff yourself.
**This episode covers sensitive topics like depression and suicidality. So, please don’t listen if you are not in a safe headspace. See the notes for resources.
International Suicide Hotlines: https://blog.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines
National Suicide Hotline: Call: 988 Text: 988
Website:https://988lifeline.org/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=web&utm_campaign=onebox
Lifeline Options For Deaf + Hard of Hearing For TTY Users: Use your preferred relay service or dial 711 then 988.
Notes:
- When trauma specialists have trauma themselves
- The problem with putting people on a pedestal
- Why linear healing isn’t really a thing
- Being a witness to someone else’s darkness
- How to be there for someone during a dark time
- Witnessing your own darkness on social media
Links:
- Check out our newest workshop: How to Relate to the Mother Who Has No Boundaries: https://tinyurl.com/motherworkshop
- Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club:https://www.patreon.com/unlearned
- FREEBIE! Intention Prompts: http://tinyurl.com/Intentionprompts
- Follow the podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theunlearnedpodcast/
- Jaime’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/recollectedself/
- Jaime’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@recollectedself
- CA’s Instagram: https://www.secure.instagram.com/embracingdivergence/
- CA’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@embracingdivergence
- Email us topics/suggestions: unlearned@recollectedself.com
Over 50 Club!
- Amanda B.
- Plamen S.
- Rachel S. (Her Petstagram: @mini_carlo_pins
Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club:https://www.patreon.com/unlearned
We often find ourselves offering help by way of the phrase, “let me know what I can do to help,” but have we ever stopped to think about how incredibly unhelpful that may be? Jaime and CA explore how to actually provide real support for people who are going through a tough time, for whatever reason, by not just making it easier on the person suffering, but by being proactive about it.
Notes:
- Actually providing support vs providing intention to support
- Why “Let me know if you need anything” doesn’t work
- What if we want to help someone but can’t?
- How to proactively help people who are going through something
- Be brave enough to be wrong and take risks
- How to help without being taken advantage of
- How to help on a real, deep level
Links:
- Check out our newest workshop: How to Relate to the Mother Who Has No Boundaries: https://tinyurl.com/motherworkshop
- Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club:https://www.patreon.com/unlearned
- FREEBIE! Intention Prompts: http://tinyurl.com/Intentionprompts
- Follow the podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theunlearnedpodcast/
- Jaime’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/recollectedself/
- Jaime’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@recollectedself
- CA’s Instagram: https://www.secure.instagram.com/embracingdivergence/
- CA’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@embracingdivergence
- Email us topics/suggestions: unlearned@recollectedself.com
Over 50 Club!
- Amanda B.
- Plamen S.
- Rachel S. (Her Petstagram: @mini_carlo_pinscher)
Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club:https://www.patreon.com/unlearned
CA and Jaime continue their series on Neurodivergency by discussing how it impacts relationships, focusing on romantic partners. They discuss the importance of actually knowing yourself, how to properly communicate your needs, what acceptance looks like, and more in this dynamic discussion.
Part 1: https://open.spotify.com/episode/41rYpF6FnCouWR6NzYDFb1?si=3100d2970c3c4458
Notes:
- The importance of knowing yourself
- What overstimulization looks like
- How to describe overstimulization with analogies
- How to communicate your needs
- Why having a partner who can validate your needs is so important
- What acceptance and support really looks like
- How to identify when your self-advocacy is being challenged for the right reasons
- What if both partners are neurdivergent?
- How to have a conversation, not a competition
Links:
- Check out our newest workshop: How to Relate to the Mother Who Has No Boundaries: https://tinyurl.com/motherworkshop
- Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club:https://www.patreon.com/unlearned
- FREEBIE! Intention Prompts: http://tinyurl.com/Intentionprompts
- Follow the podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theunlearnedpodcast/
- Jaime’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/recollectedself/
- Jaime’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@recollectedself
- CA’s Instagram: https://www.secure.instagram.com/embracingdivergence/
- CA’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@embracingdivergence
- Email us topics/suggestions: unlearned@recollectedself.com
Over 50 Club!
- Amanda B.
- Plamen S.
- Rachel S. (Her Petstagram: @mini_carlo_pinscher)
Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club: https://www.patreon.com/unlearned
Jaime and CA begin a series on Neurodivergency by exploring through their own experiences what it is, comorbidities and how they can affect diagnosis, how neurodivergent brains and neurotypical brains think differently, and more.
Notes:
- Just a reminder!
- What is a neurodivergent brain?
- Neurodivergence and comorbidities
- Why the criteria for symptoms of neurodivergence needs to change
- Examples of how comorbidities can affect a neurodivergent brain
- How do late-diagnosed people even find out?
- What neurotypical-minded people can do
Links:
- Check out our newest workshop: How to Relate to the Mother Who Has No Boundaries: https://tinyurl.com/motherworkshop
- Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club: https://www.patreon.com/unlearned
- FREEBIE! Intention Prompts: http://tinyurl.com/Intentionprompts
- Follow the podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theunlearnedpodcast/
- Jaime’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/recollectedself/
- Jaime’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@recollectedself
- CA’s Instagram: https://www.secure.instagram.com/embracingdivergence/
- CA’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@embracingdivergence
- Email us topics/suggestions: unlearned@recollectedself.com
Over 50 Club!
- Amanda B.
- Plamen S.
- Rachel S. (Her Petstagram: @mini_carlo_pinscher)
Go on social media and within two minutes you will come across dating advice. What if we took the best of that advice and directed it toward our relationship with ourselves? That sounds good on paper, but when it comes down to it, what does building a relationship with yourself look like? How do we do it? Jaime and CA are off this week, so our producer picked one of his favorite previous episodes of the show, “Date Yourself.” Enjoy!Notes:
- What does building a relationship with yourself look like?
- What does it feel like when you engage in dialogue with yourself?
- Does it feel like a harmful relationship?
- Is there Kindness?
- Compassion?
- Are you your own bully?
Links:
- Check out our newest workshop: How to Relate to the Mother Who Has No Boundaries: https://tinyurl.com/motherworkshop
- Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club:https://www.patreon.com/unlearned
- What About Bob on Amazon Prime:https://www.amazon.com/What-About-Bob-Bill-Murray/dp/B08GY1YYSF
- FREEBIE! Intention Prompts: http://tinyurl.com/Intentionprompts
- Follow the podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theunlearnedpodcast/
- Jaime’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/recollectedself/
- Jaime’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@recollectedself
- CA’s Instagram: https://www.secure.instagram.com/embracingdivergence/
- CA’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@embracingdivergence
- Email us topics/suggestions: unlearned@recollectedself.com
Over 50 Club!
- Amanda B.
- Plamen S.
- Rachel S. (Her Petstagram: @mini_carlo_pinscher)
As children, our homes are supposed to be our safe haven; a place where we can get away from the things that make life tough, but what happens when it’s not? What happens when we are bullied at home, too? In this episode, CA and Jaime explore bullying by discussing where it comes from, how it is learned, and how we can fight against it, even when it happens in our own homes.
Notes:
- Introducing our Over 50 Club!
- What is bullying?
- Where do bullies come from?
- Which child will get bullied in the home?
- Being “othered”
- Bullying at school vs bullying at home
- Am I my own bully?
Links:
- Check out our newest workshop: How to Relate to the Mother Who Has No Boundaries: https://tinyurl.com/motherworkshop
- Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club:https://www.patreon.com/unlearned
- What About Bob on Amazon Prime:https://www.amazon.com/What-About-Bob-Bill-Murray/dp/B08GY1YYSF
- FREEBIE! Intention Prompts: http://tinyurl.com/Intentionprompts
- Follow the podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theunlearnedpodcast/
- Jaime’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/recollectedself/
- Jaime’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@recollectedself
- CA’s Instagram: https://www.secure.instagram.com/embracingdivergence/
- CA’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@embracingdivergence
- Email us topics/suggestions: unlearned@recollectedself.com
Over 50 Club!
- Amanda B.
- Plamen S.
- Rachel S. (Her Petstagram: @mini_carlo_pinscher)
Happy Anniversary! Jaime and CA celebrate the show’s one-year anniversary by looking back over their journey and then getting intimate by answering some questions from The Skin Deep’s, “{THE AND} Relationship Card Game.”
Notes:
- Happy Anniversary!
- Why we started the podcast
- Our journey once we started
- Our hosts get personal with a card game
Links:
- Check out our newest workshop: How to Relate to the Mother Who Has No Boundaries: https://tinyurl.com/motherworkshop
- Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club:https://www.patreon.com/unlearned
- The Skin Deep’s Card Game: https://shop.theskindeep.com/pages/the-and-relationship-card-game
- FREEBIE! Intention Prompts: http://tinyurl.com/Intentionprompts
- Follow the podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theunlearnedpodcast/
- Jaime’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/recollectedself/
- Jaime’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@recollectedself
- CA’s Instagram: https://www.secure.instagram.com/embracingdivergence/
- CA’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@embracingdivergence
- Email us topics/suggestions: unlearned@recollectedself.com
Can you experience joy after or even in the midst of trauma? CA and Jaime take a look at why embracing joy can be such a difficult barrier for us to move beyond when trauma is a part of our lives and then they explore what exactly we can do about it.
Notes:
- Can you feel joy after experiencing trauma?
- How joy can become a barrier
- How to move beyond the fear of joy
- Why acceptance of what makes us human is so important
- The thing inside of us that questions if we are worthy of having joy
- Start with an ounce
- Techniques to gain ownership of your joy
- The importance of curiosity and asking why not
Links:
- Check out our newest workshop: How to Relate to the Mother Who Has No Boundaries: https://tinyurl.com/motherworkshop
- Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club:https://www.patreon.com/unlearned
- Why Do I Crave Chaos?: https://open.spotify.com/episode/1DTnNqOSjwx2StbjVfXp7J?si=09ade4fee68541b5
- FREEBIE! Intention Prompts: http://tinyurl.com/Intentionprompts
- Follow the podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theunlearnedpodcast/
- Jaime’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/recollectedself/
- Jaime’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@recollectedself
- CA’s Instagram: https://www.secure.instagram.com/embracingdivergence/
- CA’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@embracingdivergence
- Email us topics/suggestions: unlearned@recollectedself.com
Consent is mandatory and well all know that, but it runs a lot deeper than just saying “yes” before the act. In a world filled with fluidity and kinks, navigating consent, especially with someone who has been traumatized can be incredibly tricky. Join Jaime and CA as they explore what consent means, what it looks like in practice, and how to have healthy conversations regarding it.
*WARNING: This episode contains discussions about sex and consent. If hearing about those topics may harm you, please feel free to skip it.
Notes:
- Should kids be able to say no to a hug?
- How do you discuss consent before knowing everything it entails?
- What consent looks like
- Understanding your partner’s “defaults” regarding sex
- Yes until no v no until yes
- Navigating consent when someone has been through trauma
Links:
- Check out our newest workshop: How to Relate to the Mother Who Has No Boundaries: https://tinyurl.com/motherworkshop
- Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club:https://www.patreon.com/unlearned
- FREEBIE! Intention Prompts: http://tinyurl.com/Intentionprompts
- Follow the podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theunlearnedpodcast/
- Jaime’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/recollectedself/
- Jaime’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@recollectedself
- CA’s Instagram: https://www.secure.instagram.com/embracingdivergence/
- CA’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@embracingdivergence
- Email us topics/suggestions: unlearned@recollectedself.com
Learning our triggers is a huge part of the healing process, but knowing them and moving beyond them are two very different things. How do we break away from them? What do we do when we trigger someone else? How should they react? CA and Jaime take a deep-dive into these questions and more as they explore triggers, where they come from, and how to handle them.
*WARNING: The opening roleplay contains yelling, activation, and escalation. If you would like to skip it fast-forward about a minute.
Notes:
- Becoming aware of your trauma and triggers
- When triggers and accountability intersect
- How triggers can create trauma in others
- How to respond when someone else is triggered
- The importance of the difference between how you act versus who you are
- How to self-reflect without shaming yourself
- How to get rid of your triggers
Links:
- Check out our newest workshop: How to Relate to the Mother Who Has No Boundaries: https://tinyurl.com/motherworkshop
- Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club:https://www.patreon.com/unlearned
- FREEBIE! Intention Prompts: http://tinyurl.com/Intentionprompts
- Follow the podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theunlearnedpodcast/
- Jaime’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/recollectedself/
- Jaime’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@recollectedself
- CA’s Instagram: https://www.secure.instagram.com/embracingdivergence/
- CA’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@embracingdivergence
- Email us topics/suggestions: unlearned@recollectedself.com
Have you ever been told that you are too needy? Are you? Maybe it’s not that simple. Jaime and CA explore what people really mean when they claim that we are too sensitive, where their response and our “neediness” comes from, and what we can do about it.
Notes:
- A sensory experience
- Am I too sensitive?
- Debunking the concept of being “oversensitive”
- How social and cultural factors normalize how we see others
- Being called “too needy”
- Looking at where your sense of “normal” comes from
- Whose responsibility is it to fulfill emotional needs in a relationship
- How to have an honest and probably uncomfortable conversation about needs
- Ep 12: The Healing Stages: https://open.spotify.com/episode/16EkICSkjem68i7N1WMArx
Links:
- Check out our newest workshop: How to Relate to the Mother Who Has No Boundaries: https://tinyurl.com/motherworkshop
- Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club:https://www.patreon.com/unlearned
- FREEBIE! Intention Prompts: http://tinyurl.com/Intentionprompts
- Follow the podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theunlearnedpodcast/
- Jaime’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/recollectedself/
- Jaime’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@recollectedself
- CA’s Instagram: https://www.secure.instagram.com/embracingdivergence/
- CA’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@embracingdivergence
- Email us topics/suggestions: unlearned@recollectedself.com
We know that we need to learn certain skills to move beyond our traumas to live more fully authentic lives, but we also know that we can’t call a timeout on our lives as we learn those skills. Join CA and Jaime as they explore how to learn those skills and adapt to ever-changing situations.
Notes:
- A big announcement!
- How to build and apply trauma skills while still living your life
- Why waiting until we are totally ready may not be a great idea
- Roadblocks we put in for ourselves
- Being bad at a skill until you are good
- Building skills with constantly changing variables
- Developing adaptive skills
Links:
- FREEBIE! Intention Prompts: http://tinyurl.com/Intentionprompts
- Follow the podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theunlearnedpodcast/
- Jaime’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/recollectedself/
- Jaime’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@recollectedself
- CA’s Instagram: https://www.secure.instagram.com/embracingdivergence/
- CA’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@embracingdivergence
- Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club:https://www.patreon.com/unlearned
- Email us topics/suggestions: unlearned@recollectedself.com
Have you ever felt like you got deep with someone who refused to match that depth and wondered if they could? In this episode, Jaime and CA explore the concept of showing up fake to our relationships by discussing why some people seem unwilling or maybe even unable to show their authentic selves and then, what we should do about it.
Notes:
- What happens when we struggle to tap into depth within ourselves
- Why some people are not equipped to go deeper
- The shift from inability to unwillingness to go in-depth
- Why someone could be unwilling to share emotional intimacy
- How to handle someone who can’t or won’t show up authentically
- Why it feels unsafe to be with someone who can’t access depth
- What authenticity feels like in relationships
- What does a shallow relationship look like?
Links:
- FREEBIE! Intention Prompts: http://tinyurl.com/Intentionprompts
- Follow the podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theunlearnedpodcast/
- Jaime’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/recollectedself/
- Jaime’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@recollectedself
- CA’s Instagram: https://www.secure.instagram.com/embracingdivergence/
- CA’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@embracingdivergence
- Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club:https://www.patreon.com/unlearned
- Email us topics/suggestions: unlearned@recollectedself.com
We have the right to a little bit of privacy in our relationships, but do we have the right to secrecy? What’s the difference? Join CA and Jaime as they explore how secrecy and privacy affect relationships through a thoughtful discussion full of various scenarios.
Notes:
- Privacy or Secrecy - an example
- Hallmarks of secrecy
- What is secrecy?
- How to have the conversation around privacy
- When privacy turns into secrecy
- Do you owe people an explanation?
- Why do people need to have secrets?
- Where consent comes into play
- When privacy gets violated
Links:
- FREEBIE! Intention Prompts: http://tinyurl.com/Intentionprompts
- Follow the podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theunlearnedpodcast/
- Jaime’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/recollectedself/
- Jaime’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@recollectedself
- CA’s Instagram: https://www.secure.instagram.com/embracingdivergence/
- CA’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@embracingdivergence
- Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club:https://www.patreon.com/unlearned
- Email us topics/suggestions: unlearned@recollectedself.com
Ep. 42: TraumaThere is a lot of discussion about trauma on social media nowadays, but what is it? Are there different kinds? Can one type of trauma hurt more than another? In this episode, Jaime and CA explore the different types of trauma, how to identify and recognize it, as well as how to process it.Notes: End Scene Learning how to recognize and then name traumas Why recognizing complex trauma is so difficult The difference between big T trauma and little t trauma Using the DRIP acronym to identify complex trauma Defining incidental trauma Defining PTSD Processing your trauma How to handle triggering momentsLinks: Episode 1: Self-Consent During Healing FREEBIE! Intention Prompts: http://tinyurl.com/Intentionprompts Follow the podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theunlearnedpodcast/ Jaime’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/recollectedself/ Jaime’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@recollectedself CA’s Instagram: https://www.secure.instagram.com/embracingdivergence/ CA’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@embracingdivergence Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club:https://www.patreon.com/unlearned Email us topics/suggestions: unlearned@recollectedself.com
Our trauma can create certain narratives in our brains. What happens when we encounter similar, but not identical situations in relationships that have nothing to do with that trauma? CA and Jaime explore why we need to create new narratives based on current events, not our past, and exactly how to do so.Notes: How the brain builds narratives How the brain interferes with current or new relationships Building the skills that allow me to write narratives in a new way When we should and shouldn’t ignore the issue How to practice processing tension “Yeah, but remember….” The importance of pattern recognition How to put this all togetherLinks: FREEBIE! Intention Prompts: http://tinyurl.com/Intentionprompts Follow the podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theunlearnedpodcast/ Jaime’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/recollectedself/ Jaime’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@recollectedself CA’s Instagram: https://www.secure.instagram.com/embracingdivergence/ CA’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@embracingdivergence Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club:https://www.patreon.com/unlearned Email us topics/suggestions: unlearned@recollectedself.com
We hear a lot about boundaries, but what are they and how do we put them into practice? What happens when someone pushes them? Join Jaime and CA for an in-depth exploration of both ultimatums and boundaries by not only explaining, but with their signature style of roleplaying, as well.Notes: What are boundaries? What are ultimatums? How boundaries create safety How to set boundaries while respecting other people’s boundaries Boundaries versus politics How to handle boundaries regarding personal beliefs? What happens when boundaries are weaponized?Links: FREEBIE! Intention Prompts: http://tinyurl.com/Intentionprompts Episode 22: https://open.spotify.com/episode/57iIaflPAoZk7CnhOVYvhr?si=dc9e8e8694b64980 Follow the podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theunlearnedpodcast/ Jaime’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/recollectedself/ Jaime’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@recollectedself CA’s Instagram: https://www.secure.instagram.com/embracingdivergence/ CA’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@embracingdivergence Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club:https://www.patreon.com/unlearned Email us topics/suggestions: unlearned@recollectedself.com
You will make some changes during your healing journey. What happens when your loved ones question these changes? What if they don’t agree with them? CA and Jaime explore how to have these conversations without falling into the trap of justifying our healed selves with an in-depth exploration and a bit of roleplay.Notes: Justification versus clarification during dialogs about our recovery Why conversations around recovery and healing tend to be cyclical Navigating the traps Why do we feel the need to justify our decisions? Why justification tends not to work Finding peace and accepting differences When to walk away Clarifying without seeking approvalLinks: FREEBIE! Intention Prompts: http://tinyurl.com/Intentionprompts Follow the podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theunlearnedpodcast/ Jaime’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/recollectedself/ Jaime’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@recollectedself CA’s Instagram: https://www.secure.instagram.com/embracingdivergence/ CA’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@embracingdivergence Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club:https://www.patreon.com/unlearned Email us topics/suggestions: unlearned@recollectedself.com
So you’re on your way to recovery. What about the people who only recognize the old you? What about those moments of panic where you feel yourself slipping back into the person you once were? Jaime and CA explore how we can hold ourselves hostage during the recovery process as well as how to negotiate our way out of the situation.
Notes:
- Why looking back at who you used to be is so difficult
- Why it’s important to hold yourself accountable
- How do we learn to trust that the newer version of ourselves is the default?
- Interacting with people who only know the old you
- Getting stuck in the worse parts of our past lives
- Making amends with your past self
- How shame can both help and hurt you
- The importance of being both understanding of and forgiving to your past self
- Reaching out to make amends and leaving that shame space
- Moving forward with curiosity and compassion
- The importance of context
Links:
- FREEBIE! Intention Prompts: http://tinyurl.com/Intentionprompts
- Follow the podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theunlearnedpodcast/
- Jaime’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/recollectedself/
- Jaime’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@recollectedself
- CA’s Instagram: https://www.secure.instagram.com/embracingdivergence/
- CA’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@embracingdivergence
- Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club:https://www.patreon.com/unlearned
- Email us topics/suggestions: unlearned@recollectedself.com
If someone does something that hurts you but they didn't mean to hurt you are they at fault? What if they know those actions hurt you? What if they don't agree? CA and Jaime explore these questions and more as they discuss people's intentions vs the impact of their actions.
Notes:
- An example of intention vs impact
- The importance of communication about expectations
- The difference between actual unintentional acts versus lies
- How even simple expectations can become imprisoning
- How each party is responsible for the intentions and impacts in a relationship
- Why do we not just tell people what bothers us?
- Why authenticity and accountability are so important
- When does ignorance become manipulation?
- How do we navigate all of this in a healthy way?
Links:
- FREEBIE! Intention Prompts: http://tinyurl.com/Intentionprompts
- Follow the podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theunlearnedpodcast/
- Jaime’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/recollectedself/
- Jaime’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@recollectedself
- CA’s Instagram: https://www.secure.instagram.com/embracingdivergence/
- CA’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@embracingdivergence
- Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club:https://www.patreon.com/unlearned
- Email us topics/suggestions: unlearned@recollectedself.com
On the first episode of 2023 CA and Jaime start 2023 with an in-depth exploration of why New Year’s Resolutions hardly ever seem to work out. They discuss the differences between internal and external resolutions, healthy and not-so-healthy ones, wantingness and willingness, burnout, and more.
Notes:
- We’re back!
- Sharing this year’s vision for the podcast
- New Year - New Resolutions
- Where do New Year’s resolutions come from?
- The difference between healthy and nonhealthy resolutions
- Internal versus external resolutions
- Wantingness versus willingness
- Where does burnout come from?
- How to choose the right New Year’s resolutions
Links:
- FREEBIE! Intention Prompts: http://tinyurl.com/Intentionprompts
- Follow the podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theunlearnedpodcast/
- Jaime’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/recollectedself/
- Jaime’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@recollectedself
- CA’s Instagram: https://www.secure.instagram.com/embracingdivergence/
- CA’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@embracingdivergence
- Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club:https://www.patreon.com/unlearned
- Email us topics/suggestions: unlearned@recollectedself.com
We did it! Jaime and CA jump on the mic for one final episode of the podcast for 2022. Join them as they take a look back at their first year of podcasting, explore some of the themes of the previous episodes, and look forward to 2023 and beyond.
Notes:
- We did it!
- 2022 Spotify Wrapped
- Favorite Episodes
- Jaime and CA’s Favorite Clips
Links:
- Follow the podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theunlearnedpodcast/
- Jaime’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/recollectedself/
- Jaime’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@recollectedself
- CA’s Instagram: https://www.secure.instagram.com/embracingdivergence/
- CA’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@embracingdivergence
- Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club:https://www.patreon.com/unlearned
- Email us topics/suggestions: unlearned@recollectedself.com
In this freewheeling, personal, and at times hilarious episode, Jaime and CA sit down for a game of “We're Not Really Strangers” a purpose driven card game and movement all about empowering meaningful connections during their last official podcast of 2022.
Notes:
- What fast food restaurant do you think I'm most likely to drive through and what's my order?
- What subject do you think I thrived on in school? Did I fail any?
- Have you ever told someone, “I love you” and didn’t mean it? If so, why?
- What lesson took you the longest to unlearn?
Links:
- “We’re Not Really Strangers:” https://www.werenotreallystrangers.com/
- Follow the podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theunlearnedpodcast/
- Jaime’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/recollectedself/
- Jaime’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@recollectedself
- CA’s Instagram: https://www.secure.instagram.com/embracingdivergence/
- CA’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@embracingdivergence
- Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club:https://www.patreon.com/unlearned
- Email us topics/suggestions: unlearned@recollectedself.com
Gratitude seems simple, but what about when societal expectations make us feel like we are forced to bypass our feelings to show it? CA and Jaime discuss how gratitude can be used as a weapon, how societal pressures of showing it affects those who are neurodivergent, the importance of authentic gratitude, and more.Notes: The origins of gratitude How the way we are taught gratitude affects how we see it as adults Gratitude and guilt Social constructs and neurodiversity Why bypassing your feelings to show gratitude can be dangerous Gratitude and gaslighting What does genuine gratitude look and feel like Weaponized gratitudeLinks: Follow the podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theunlearnedpodcast/ Jaime’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/recollectedself/ Jaime’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@recollectedself CA’s Instagram: https://www.secure.instagram.com/embracingdivergence/ CA’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@embracingdivergence Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club:https://www.patreon.com/unlearned Email us topics/suggestions: unlearned@recollectedself.com
Jaime and CA close their series on Religious Trauma by speaking with Rev Karla, an ordained, interfaith, interspiritual minister who helps people who are deconstructing from Christianity to reclaim their spirituality so they can live with authenticity free from the dogma of their religious heritage, about the difficulty of separating from the fear-based, strongly patriarchal, indoctrination of modern day of Christianity.
This episode and the series on religious trauma as a whole may be especially triggering to certain listeners.
Rev Karla’s website: https://www.revkarla.com/
Recommended Reading:
- Zealot by Reza Aslan
- How Jesus Became God by Bart Ehrman
- Resurrecting Jesus by Adyashanti
- Why Christianity Must Change or Die by John Shelby Spong
- What is the Bible? by Rob Bell
Previous Episodes in the Series
- Part 1: Ep. 27: Religious Trauma: Part 1
- Part 2: Ep. 28: Religious Trauma: Part 2 “The Sin of Thinking”
- Part 3: Ep. 29: Religious Trauma: Part 3 - The “Hell” Narrative
- Part 4: Ep. 30: Religious Trauma: Part 4 - Is Pleasure Evil?
Notes:
- Introducing Rev Karla
- Rejecting the fear-based, strongly patriarchal, indoctrination of religion
- Why the language used in the Bible is inaccurate to how we’ve evolved as humans
- How going to the seminary opened Karla’s eyes
- Books that helped Karla open her mind to the reality of modern Christianity
- How do we start to break away from religious indoctrination?
- Why some religions fear holistic teachings
- How to respond to “the church didn’t hurt you - an individual did”
- How to take responsibility as a Christian
- Grieving the loss of your faith
- A message of hope for those struggling with their faith
Links:
- Follow the podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theunlearnedpodcast/
- Jaime’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/recollectedself/
- Jaime’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@recollectedself
- CA’s Instagram: https://www.secure.instagram.com/embracingdivergence/
- CA’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@embracingdivergence
- Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club:https://www.patreon.com/unlearned
- Email us topics/suggestions: unlearned@recollectedself.com
CA and Jaime continue their series on Religious Trauma by discussing the skills needed to start deconstruction by exploring their individual paths to freedom.
This episode and the series on religious trauma as a whole may be especially triggering to certain listeners.
- Part 1: Ep. 27: Religious Trauma: Part 1
- Part 2: Ep. 28: Religious Trauma: Part 2 “The Sin of Thinking”
- Part 3: Ep. 29: Religious Trauma: Part 3 - The “Hell” Narrative
- Part 4: Religious Trauma: Part 4 - Is Pleasure Evil?
Notes:
- Where does deconstruction begin?
- Why widening your social network is so important
- How to create space for your mind
- CA and Jaimie discuss their personal journeys
- Why curiosity is so important
- Vertical versus horizontal morality
Links:
- Follow the podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theunlearnedpodcast/
- Jaime’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/recollectedself/
- Jaime’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@recollectedself
- CA’s Instagram: https://www.secure.instagram.com/embracingdivergence/
- CA’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@embracingdivergence
- Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club:https://www.patreon.com/unlearned
- Email us topics/suggestions: unlearned@recollectedself.com
Why is Trunk-or-Treating ok while Trick-or-Treating is bad? What’s the difference between yoga and mindful movement? Jaime and CA continue their series on religious trauma by diving into the cross-section of joy, pleasure, and religion by asking why some things are ok while some things are not.
This episode and the series on religious trauma as a whole may be especially triggering to certain listeners.
- Part 1: Ep. 27: Religious Trauma: Part 1
- Part 2: Ep. 28: Religious Trauma: Part 2 “The Sin of Thinking”
- Part 3: Ep. 29: Religious Trauma: Part 3 - The “Hell” Narrative
Notes:
- The reason why religion teaches people to be leery of joy and pleasure
- How faith makes you believe that joy and pleasure are evil
- Questioning what makes you feel happy
- How religion closes off the conversation about non-religious things
Links:
- Follow the podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theunlearnedpodcast/
- Jaime’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/recollectedself/
- Jaime’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@recollectedself
- CA’s Instagram: https://www.secure.instagram.com/embracingdivergence/
- CA’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@embracingdivergence
- Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club:https://www.patreon.com/unlearned
- Email us topics/suggestions: unlearned@recollectedself.com
CA and Jaime continue their series on religious trauma by digging into how the black-and-white “Hell Narrative” can be incredibly dangerous to our relationships and psyche.
This episode and the series on religious trauma as a whole may be especially triggering to certain listeners.
- Part 1: Ep. 27: Religious Trauma: Part 1
- Part 2: Ep. 28: Religious Trauma: Part 2 “The Sin of Thinking”
Notes:
- The moment you realize that you need to start having conversations about religion
- The problem with the “if you’re not with us you’re against us” belief system
- Getting censored for wanting to have authentic discussions about your faith
- How religion can cause you to be your own bully
Links:
Self Trust/doubt episode
- Follow the podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theunlearnedpodcast/
- Jaime’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/recollectedself/
- Jaime’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@recollectedself
- CA’s Instagram: https://www.secure.instagram.com/embracingdivergence/
- CA’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@embracingdivergence
- Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club:https://www.patreon.com/unlearned
- Email us topics/suggestions: unlearned@recollectedself.com
Jaime and CA continue their series on religious trauma by exploring how religion’s attempts to control our thoughts and emotions affect us both now and in the future.
This episode and the series on religious trauma as a whole may be especially triggering to certain listeners.
Part 1: Ep. 27: Religious Trauma: Part 1
Notes:
- Recapping part 1
- How repressing “sinful” thoughts and emotions damages you
- What is spiritual bypassing and how is it harmful?
- What about exploratory thoughts?
Links:
- Follow the podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theunlearnedpodcast/
- Jaime’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/recollectedself/
- Jaime’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@recollectedself
- CA’s Instagram: https://www.secure.instagram.com/embracingdivergence/
- CA’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@embracingdivergence
- Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club:https://www.patreon.com/unlearned
- Email us topics/suggestions: unlearned@recollectedself.com
CA and Jaime introduce us to a series of episodes based on religious trauma. In this episode, they define religious trauma and explore where it comes from and how it happens.
This episode and the series on religious trauma as a whole may be especially triggering to certain listeners.
Notes:
- Defining trauma
- Defining complex trauma
- Defining religious trauma
- Why religious trauma is so harmful
- Why religious indoctrination at such a young age can damage your sense of self
- Understanding righteous anger
- How religious indoctrination starts
- How religion moves from love to fear and how that can affect us
Links:
- Follow the podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theunlearnedpodcast/
- Jaime’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/recollectedself/
- Jaime’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@recollectedself
- CA’s Instagram: https://www.secure.instagram.com/embracingdivergence/
- CA’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@embracingdivergence
- Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club:https://www.patreon.com/unlearned
- Email us topics/suggestions: unlearned@recollectedself.com
Some relationships stay on the surface level and that’s ok, but sometimes we want to experience deeper intimacy with specific people. Jaime and CA explore what happens when we seek out more authentic relationships, what to expect, how to handle the emotional changes, and more.
Notes:
- Seeking out deeper and more authentic relationships
- What happens when we seek deeper relationships with people who aren’t ready
- Why roles don’t automatically define the deepness of a relationship
- How to authentically participate in a relationship by changing your expectations
- Understanding where tension comes from and how to navigate it
- What you may face when you decide to show up authentically
Links:
- Follow the podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theunlearnedpodcast/
- Jaime’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/recollectedself/
- Jaime’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@recollectedself
- CA’s Instagram: https://www.secure.instagram.com/embracingdivergence/
- CA’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@embracingdivergence
- Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club:https://www.patreon.com/unlearned
- Email us topics/suggestions: unlearned@recollectedself.com
Truth is not always black and white and as we grow and learn (or unlearn) our definition of it changes. At some point, we may be ready to step and tell our truth, but what happens if the people we are speaking to aren’t ready or willing to hear it? Join CA and Jaime as they discuss the challenge of not only living our authentic lives but sharing that authenticity with others. Notes:
Why living authentically is important Being ready to talk when others aren’t ready to listen The challenge of speaking your truth to people who may not be ready to hear it How self-preservation affects telling your truth The reality of truth Allowing people to evolve without trying to own their identity
Links:
Follow the podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theunlearnedpodcast/ Jaime’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/recollectedself/ Jaime’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@recollectedself CA’s Instagram: https://www.secure.instagram.com/embracingdivergence/ CA’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@embracingdivergence Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club:https://www.patreon.com/unlearned Email us topics/suggestions: unlearned@recollectedself.com
Control can take many forms in relationships. One of those is by putting up boundaries and saying, “no” as an attempt to control, often without even realizing it. In this episode, Jaime and CA explore the role of control in relationships, where it comes from, and what we can to do break the cycle.
Notes:
- Where do we learn to love?
- How love can be controlling
- How do we approach shifting dynamics in a relationship?
- How shifting dynamics provide opportunities for growth
- The importance of asking ourselves why we say “no”
- The importance of knowing your asks
- What to do when your partner refuses to stop controlling you?
Links:
- Follow the podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theunlearnedpodcast/
- Jaime’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/recollectedself/
- Jaime’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@recollectedself
- CA’s Instagram: https://www.secure.instagram.com/embracingdivergence/
- CA’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@embracingdivergence
- Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club:https://www.patreon.com/unlearned
- Email us topics/suggestions: unlearned@recollectedself.com
We can hardly go on social media without seeing some sort of mental health quick-fix post. While these solutions may help with the acute symptoms and behaviors, they often fail to address the underlying problems. Join CA and Jaime as they explore how to move beyond the latest pop psychology viral video and dig deep during our healing journeys.
Notes:
- The problem with pop psychology
- Why treating the acute symptoms only may not work in the long run
- The importance of zooming out to get the complete picture of your mental health
- Why quick fixes can be good in the short term
- Why awareness behind our problematic behaviors is important
- How to move beyond fixing the bad habit
Links:
- Ep 01: https://spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/K48e7a8yOtb/
- Follow the podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theunlearnedpodcast/
- Jaime’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/recollectedself/
- Jaime’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@recollectedself
- CA’s Instagram: https://www.secure.instagram.com/embracingdivergence/
- CA’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@embracingdivergence
- Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club:https://www.patreon.com/unlearned
- Email us topics/suggestions: unlearned@recollectedself.com
Ep 22: Boundaries 101
We hear a lot about boundaries, especially on social media, but before we learn how to set them, we need to know what exactly they are. Join CA and Jaime as they walk us through boundaries by telling us what they are, why they are important, how to implement them, and more.
Notes:
- What is a boundary?
- Why are boundaries important?
- How do we know when to set a boundary?
- How to practice setting boundaries
- What happens when people don’t respect our boundaries?
Links:
- Follow the podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theunlearnedpodcast/
- Jaime’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/recollectedself/
- Jaime’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@recollectedself
- CA’s Instagram: https://www.secure.instagram.com/embracingdivergence/
- CA’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@embracingdivergence
- Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club: https://www.patreon.com/unlearne
- Email us topics/suggestions: unlearned@recollectedself.com
Whether through religion or parenting, we are often taught at a young age to forgive and forget, but what if we can’t? Jaime and CA discuss what it actually means to forgive someone, the psychology behind it, what happens if we just can’t bring ourselves to do it, and more.
Notes:
- It’s Jaime’s Birthday!
- What is the psychology of forgiveness?
- How do we engage in forgiveness in a safe and meaningful way?
- How spirituality and our childhood affect our ability to forgive properly
- The process of forgiveness
- Forgiveness versus reconciliation
- The importance of accountability in repairing a relationship
- Is it ok to never forgive someone?
- How it really feels to forgive
- Can you actually forgive and forget?
Links:
- Ep. 01: Self-Consent During Trauma Healing: https://spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/VvtxS2gzrtb
- Ep 20: Does Trauma Make Us Toxic?: https://spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/4tco6Tkzrtb
- Follow the podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theunlearnedpodcast/
- Jaime’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/recollectedself/
- Jaime’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@recollectedself
- CA’s Instagram: https://www.secure.instagram.com/embracingdivergence/
- CA’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@embracingdivergence
- Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club: https://www.patreon.com/unlearne
- Email us topics/suggestions: unlearned@recollectedself.com
Do hurt people hurt people? Is there a place for accountability? How do we move beyond the awareness stage? Jaime and CA examine these questions and many more as they discuss whether or not our past trauma can make us toxic.
Notes:
- Do hurt people hurt people?
- Does past trauma give us an excuse to be toxic?
- The importance of accountability for our trauma responses
- How to protect ourselves from trauma responses
- How awareness turns into weaponized awareness
- How unexamined wounds can impact our children
- How to move past the awareness phase yourself
- Audience Q&A
Links:
- Ep 12: The Stages and Stuckness of Healing: https://spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/ONGm43HUftb
- Follow the podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theunlearnedpodcast/
- Jaime’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/recollectedself/
- Jaime’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@recollectedself
- CA’s Instagram: https://www.secure.instagram.com/embracingdivergence/
- CA’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@embracingdivergence
- Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club: https://www.patreon.com/unlearne
- Email us topics/suggestions: unlearned@recollectedself.com
Getting away from all the chaos of our past is a massive part of our healing journey. Why then do we continue to seek it out long after it’s gone? Join Jaime and CA as they discuss not only why we feel the need to fill that void, but what we can do to get rid of it altogether.
Notes:
- What is chaos and why do we crave it?
- Why emotional chaos flies under the radar
- What are the markers of chaos?
- Predictable chaos, why we crave it, and how we get it
- Where people tend to find substitutions for personal chaos
- How the chaos of reality tv, murder documentaries, etc. can harm our healing journeys
- Recognizing the “call for chaos” and how unlearn it
Links:
- For more information about the Immersion Trip to Costa Rica: https://trips.trovatrip.com/trips/costa-rica-with-jaime-mahler-jan-2023
- Follow the podcast on Instagram: instagram.com/theunlearnedpodcast/
- Jaime’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/recollectedself/
- Jaime’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@recollectedself
- CA’s Instagram: https://www.secure.instagram.com/embracingdivergence/
- CA’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@embracingdivergence
- Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club: https://www.patreon.com/unlearne
- Email us topics/suggestions: unlearned@recollectedself.com
We all go through a sort of metamorphosis during our healing journeys. Is that act of transformation selfish? What about the people we leave behind? Are we even supposed to leave them behind? Join Jaime and CA as they take a deep dive into these questions and more as they discuss if it is selfish to heal.
Notes:
- The best brands of seltzer and becoming sober curious
- Is it selfish to heal?
- The reason why we get pushback during our healing journeys
- The importance of looking inward during metamorphosis
- The intersection between personal healing and the impact on the community around you
- How healing can affect personal relationships
- How to keep relationships from becoming toxic during growth stages
- Our responsibility to our relationships while healing
- Why honesty is so vital while healing
- Being responsible for the ways our unhealed selves engaged in relationships
- Why clarity is so important in relationships
Links:
- For more information about the Immersion Trip to Costa Rica: https://trips.trovatrip.com/trips/costa-rica-with-jaime-mahler-jan-2023
- Follow the podcast on Instagram: instagram.com/theunlearnedpodcast/
- Jaime’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/recollectedself/
- Jaime’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@recollectedself
- CA’s Instagram: https://www.secure.instagram.com/embracingdivergence/
- CA’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@embracingdivergence
- Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club: https://www.patreon.com/unlearne
- Email us topics/suggestions: unlearned@recollectedself.com
Jaime and CA discuss learning to trust oneself through the lens of developing a relationship with one's future self. Please be sure to review us! We want to hear your voice! This helps out our podcast immensely.
Follow the podcast on Instagram and say Hi! @theunlearnedpodcast
-Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club: https://www.patreon.com/unlearned -Email us topics/suggestions: unlearnedpod@gmail.com. For more information about the Immersion Trip to Costa Rica: https://trips.trovatrip.com/trips/costa-rica-with-jaime-mahler-jan-2023
Jaime and CA discuss holding two conflicting emotions at once.
For more information about the Immersion Trip to Costa Rica: https://trips.trovatrip.com/trips/costa-rica-with-jaime-mahler-jan-2023
Jaime and CA discuss consent and boundaries around emotionally intense conversations. For more information about the Immersion Trip to Costa Rica: https://trips.trovatrip.com/trips/costa-rica-with-jaime-mahler-jan-2023
Jaime and CA discuss avoiding engagement with negative feelings, past traumas and emotions and then being met with “ good vibes only!” Trip Details. https://trips.trovatrip.com/trips/costa-rica-with-jaime-mahler-jan-2023
Jaime and CA discuss how one's views of their own self worth reflects the way they interact with the world.
Jaime and CA discuss the process of healing; the stages we go through, the ways we can sometimes get stuck at certain points, and how to get unstuck when that happens.
In this episode, Jaime and CA discuss why hair has such a compelling ability to communicate powerful truths to us. It represents self-expression, it is a vehicle for personal autonomy, it is a way to release trauma, and so much more.
Join us as we dive deep into this topic.
In this episode, Jaime and CA answer the question: what exactly is shit talking and why do we do it?
How often do you find yourself venting to blow off the steam of that infuriating situation?
Does someone you know seem resigned to endure a situation that is terrible for them but they just keep complaining about it anyway?
Is there a difference between complaining, venting, shit talking, and authentic emotional processing?
Join us as we explore this topic, and ultimately move into an empowered space of truly processing the emotions behind our shit talking.
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Jaime and CA talk about self advocacy in the face of traumatizing family dynamics that emphasize facade and deflection over honesty.
Join our Facebook Community here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theunlearnedcommunity
Jaime and CA talk about listening to your body when it speaks through pain, anxiety, happiness, etc.
What does building a relationship with yourself look like?
What does it feel like when you engage in dialogue with yourself?
Does it feel like a harmful relationship?
Is there Kindness?
Compassion?
Are you your own bully?
We explore all of these questions on this episode: Your Relationship with Yourself Follow us on Instagram and say hi! https://www.instagram.com/theunlearnedpodcast/ Join our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/unlearned
Have you heard... "Your behavior is a reflection of me!!!"
or "I say jump, you say, how high"
while growing up or from your partner?
This is your episode!
Jaime and CA discuss:
-*Why do I feel like I can't be an individual in my family?
-Why is my individualization a threat to my relationships?
-Why does my family force loyalty?
-Where do I end and my family or partner begins?
-What is the risk of authenticity?*Please remember to review our podcast!
We appreciate all of your feedback.
Thank you for helping us rank in the top 100 podcasts in the US!!!
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@theunlearnedpodcast
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Jaime and CA discuss humor as a tool for maintaining abusive power structures and deflecting criticism.
Jaime and CA discuss people pleasing as a trauma response.
For more information about the Immersion Trip to Costa Rica: https://trips.trovatrip.com/trips/costa-rica-with-jaime-mahler-jan-2023
Hosts Jaime and CA discuss breaking out of a dualistic perspectives when diving into self-healing and self-growth work. All-or-nothing statements, black & white mindsets, and rigid thought structures can all be a major hindrance to your growth. Pop those headphones on to find out more as we explore this foundational topic.
Please be sure to review us! We want to hear your voice! This helps out our podcast immensely.
Follow the podcast on Instagram and say Hi! @theunlearnedpodcast
-Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club: https://www.patreon.com/unlearned -Email us topics/suggestions: unlearnedpod@gmail.com
Jaime and CA discuss learning to trust yourself.
For more information about the Immersion Trip to Costa Rica: https://trips.trovatrip.com/trips/costa-rica-with-jaime-mahler-jan-2023
In this episode, Jaime and CA continue to explore the reasons why healing from trauma can feel so violating at times and how we can gain power back during the healing process.
For more information about the Immersion Trip to Costa Rica: https://trips.trovatrip.com/trips/costa-rica-with-jaime-mahler-jan-2023
In this episode hosts Jaime Mahler and CA Rhoades explore reasons why healing from trauma can feel so violating at times and how we can gain power back during the healing process.
For more information about the Immersion Trip to Costa Rica: https://trips.trovatrip.com/trips/costa-rica-with-jaime-mahler-jan-2023