Filled to Flourish: Recent Episodes
Lauren + Luke Smallcomb
Join Lauren + Luke Smallcomb, founders of Flourish Therapy and married couple, as they have honest conversations about finding healing + wholeness from the effects of chronic stress and trauma on the brain + body.
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/filledtoflourish/support
Join us for this episode as Flourish Therapy practitioner Bethany Randolph walks us through how the way we address our triggers and young parts can actually be keeping us stuck. Bethany guides Lauren through an impromptu therapy session, gently showing how to allow the wounded parts of us EXPERIENCE our strong and compassion Self. It's a powerful practice that can open you up to new neural pathways of healing and transformation.
We so enjoyed this guest interview with Natalie Hoffman of Flying Free. We quickly connected and had such an engaging conversation about her new memoir where she shares about her exit from her marriage, her church and the toxic theology and shame that had trapped her for so long. She found a lot of help with her healing process through IFS, and actually writes part of her book from the perspective of her different parts. It is such a brave and brilliant move! If you or someone you love is questioning the health of your marriage, family of origin or community of faith, this episode is for you.
Find Natalie at https://www.flyingfreenow.com/
Natalie Hoffman is the author of Is it Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage: A Christian Woman's Guide to Hidden Emotional and Spiritual Abuse and All the Scary Little Gods: a Memoir as well as the host of the Flying Free podcast. She is a mother, grandmother, educator, and passionate advocate for Christian women in abusive homes and churches. Natalie empowers Christian women to discover and use their God-given voices, gifts, and freedom to make their own adult choices for their spiritual, emotional, and physical well-being.
We all want more regulated nervous systems, but HOW do we get from information and knowledge about the nervous system, to actually experiencing a wider window of tolerance and deeper regulation capacity?
💭🎙🧠 In this episode we offer you 11 effective ways to cultivate a more regulated nervous system over time, and help you recover from the effects of trauma and chronic stress. Most of them are very accessible to most people, and guess what--none of them are therapy (although, of course that is often a very helpful support in developing a more regulated nervous system). We hope this is helpful to you! What would you add? Which have helped you?
In this episode of the Filled to Flourish podcast we examine the topic of boundaries with more detail and nuance than a lot of boundaries conversations. We explore this topic a lot with each other and clients, and wanted to bring some of that more complicated conversation to the podcast. We discuss:-Boundary basics-Power, autonomy and systems-When defensiveness is normal, when it's harmful-Why those closest to us might have such a hard time with our boundaries-Family systems and roles-Shared and unshared boundaries-How powerfully healing it can be when someone responds well to our boundaries-What people's reaction to your boundaries can tell you about your relationship
Jessica Willis Fisher was the oldest daughter in a high-control family system, that just so happened to also be famous (TLC, AGT...ect) Behind the gorgeous smiles and stunning talent of this 14 person family- fear, control and every kind of abuse reigned.
When Jessica became able to really face the horrors of what was happening to her, and her family members, she was faced with a seemingly impossible decision. Her memoir captures the immense struggle of her story with striking heart and clarity. We had the honor of interviewing Jessica and hearing from her personally about:
-the nature of the effects of abuse on victims
-the role of responsibility in getting free and staying free
-reframing how we understand committed relationships like marriage
-how everyone plays a part in abuse prevention, awareness and support
-Jessica gives a sneak peak into what she is working on next by way of writing
-and more!
Jessica shares so authentically and powerfully, this episode is a new favorite of ours! Find Jessica on IG @jessicawillisfisher and her website https://jessicawillisfisher.com/
So much of our lives involve managing life in the aftermath of other peoples choices. This is particularly true when it comes to your childhood.
Join us as we chat with a therapy Hannah Brents about the repercussions, challenges and heartaches surrounding pasts that were chosen for you.
- examples of having "a past you didn't choose"
- how grief and acceptance are interconnected and how they heal us
- moving from helplessness to taking ownership/control of your life
- forgiveness for those who were responsible for your past experiences?
- how to titrate through big emotions when grieving a past you didn't choose
You can also watch this chat on YouTube!
🎙🌿Luke + Lauren
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Hannah Brents is a therapist with a private practice in Massachusetts. She has a background in religious studies, yoga, and meditation. She is launching a course on Making Peace With Your Religious Past that will be available at the end of the summer.
Here are Hannah's links:
YouTube Channel:
Instagram:
Sign up for for her monthly newsletter:
Waitlist for upcoming course-
Making Peace with Your Religious Past:
So many of you enjoy our content on IFS, and we’re glad to share another podcast episode with you about how our bodily symptoms can be coming from specific parts of our internal world.
We interviewed Katie LaCelle from @cressanallc, and looked at IFS (parts work) through a somatic lens.
-quick overview of the Self, exiles, protectors
-how to tell if you are “in Self”
-how hard it is to stay embodied in a body that is suffering
-what a somatic protector and how it might try to protect you
-polarized parts and the tension they create internally
-how protectors may feel about their burdened roles
-an important goal of healing
If you’ve found IFS to be a powerful healing paradigm for you, or if you are intrigued by it, be sure to check out this episode- and share it with other IFS friends!
If you'd prefer, you can watch this conversation on YouTube!
Katie LaCelle is a lifelong seeker and recovering corporate executive who loves helping women thrive personally & professionally while prioritizing self-compassion and presence. She's passionate about mental health and trained in IFS, a trauma-informed therapy modality. She has a bachelors degree in chemical engineering and a masters in organizational leadership and deeply enjoys integrating all of her knowledge to meet and support people where they're at. In her spare time, she coaches and performs on the flying trapeze. Learn more about Katie and the work she does over at:
https://www.cressanallc.com/
Connect with and say hello to Katie at:
We promised we would do some teaching on the mixed states of the nervous system- so here is an entire episode on it! 🌿we review the 3 primary states of the nervous system🌿introduce the 3 mixed states (play, stillness and freeze)🌿differentiate between freeze and shut down🌿the goal of nervous system regulation🌿touch on the importance and role of the vagal break🌿explain how to expand your regulation capacity through beauty🌿share how we’ve personally grown to experience the states of play and stillness more in the last few years....and more!
We hope this helps expand your understanding of your nervous system and those around you!
You can also watch this episode in video format on our YouTube channel.
Is “masculinity” a bad thing? Our teenage son asked once when he was trying to make sense of all the things.I think his question is something we are asking as a collective as well.Join us for this engaging conversation about masculinity with Dr. Brendan Kwiatkowski from @re.masculine.We explore:-What restrictive masculinity is-What is missing from the idea of “toxic masculinity”-3 of the most harmful beliefs about masculinity-Negative health outcomes of restrictive masculinity-Surprising results from his research regarding emotional sensitivity in males-What the difference is between understanding restrictive masculinity vs. tolerating/coddling abusers-Positive framework for masculinity moving forwardWe feel this episode is SUCH a needed conversation and are so thankful @re.maculine was willing to have it with us.
Find Brendan on instagram @re.masculine and tiktok @remasculine. Visit his site and check out his research at www.remasculine.com.
A regulated nervous system has an important role in a healthy and connected sex life. In this episode we explore how the NS is needed in the 4-stage sexual arousal cycle, how cues of safety and cues of threat play into sexual engagement and the aspect of novelty in a sexual relationship. We are excited to introduce the "M.A.P. of Sexual Responsiveness", a model we created to help guide couples to deepen their sexual connection and pleasure. This episode has A LOT in it -- go slowly if needed. Find us on social and let us know your thoughts or questions once you have listened!
"Many abuse, assault, or trauma survivors experience The Second Wound when they disclose their experiences: a combination of disbelief, minimization, shaming, victim-blaming, silencing, and ostracism." In this episode we talk with Miranda Pacchiana of The Second Wound, and explore the dynamics of this gut-wrenching re-traumatization, how to prevent yourself from unknowingly causing this harm, as well as how to begin to heal from the second wound. We discuss childhood sexual abuse, and the issue of consent, arousal and memory related to this form of abuse. If you are survivor of the second wound, you are sure to leave this episode feeling so affirmed and understood. Some listeners may even feel compelled to reach out to those that they have unintentionally harmed with their minimization, shaming or ostracism. Understanding the second wound is so vitally important for the individual and collective healing of the traumas of our stories. Please share this episode with others who have gone through subsequent harm after their initial abuse as it is a lonely and confusing road to walk. Miranda Pacchiana, MSW is a writer, personal coach, creator of the website The Second Wound, and host of the podcast Truth and Consequences. She writes and speaks about recovery from abuse, family estrangement, parenting, and grief, among other topics. A survivor of child sexual abuse, Miranda applies the lessons she learned through the traumatic events in her own life to provide comfort, information, and support to others. She works and lives in Sandy Hook, Connecticut. You can find her on: Instagram @thesecondwound, Twitter @SecondWound, Facebook @SecondWound, Website https://secondwound.com/
Today on the podcast we share our interview with the lovely Julia + Jeremiah of @sexvangelicals on the intersection of high-control religions and sexuality. We explore:🎙How to establish safety around sex and conversing about sex 🎙How relationships require a challenge of your sexuality in a way that not being in a relationship doesn’t 🎙How high-control religions prescribe a lens of fear and how this can hinder you from asking questions, being in tune with your desires, exploration, playfulness and pleasure🎙How sex therapy is not glamorous, rather always includes grief and loss 🎙How patriarchal views are incompatible with genuine intimacy 🎙Approaching sexual “dysfunction” diagnoses from the root in a supportive, partnered way…..and more! We think these conversations are a much-needed, unfortunately over-due addition to the mess of information out there that is largely religiously and culturally driven. GUESTS: Jeremiah Gibson and Julia Postema are the co-hosts of the podcast Sexvangelicals: The Sex Education the Church Didn't Want You to Have. They are both licensed psychotherapists in Massachusetts, and certified sex therapists. They are currently living in Utrecht, the Netherlands for the next 18 months to do three of their favorite things--travel, hike, and eat amazing foods. You can learn more about them on IG @sexvangelicals.
We asked Clinician Andrew Bauman to join us as we attempt to explore this landmine topic mindfully and truthfully. While more are becoming "abuse-informed" it is still incredibly common for couples and helpers alike to feel very unsure how to identify these dynamics in themselves, their spouses, or who they're working with. Andrew shares with refreshing honestly what he looks for as he helps couples in his practice, and how he navigates what he finds.
This episode is only intended to be informative, and we encourage you to seek out a qualified abuse-informed, trauma-informed practitioner to help you navigate this for your individual situation.
Andrew J. Bauman is the Founder & Director of the Christian Counseling Center: For Sexual Health & Trauma (CCC) He is a licensed mental health counselor with a Master of Arts in Counseling Psychology from The Seattle School of Theology & Psychology. Andrew is the author of How Not to Be an *SS, The Sexually Healthy Man, Floating Away, Stumbling Toward Wholeness, The Psychology of Porn, and (with his wife Dr. Christy Bauman) the book A Brave Lament and award-winning film. You can find him at ChristianCC.org & Andrewjbauman.com or on facebook @andrewjamesbauman
Join us for this episode-with-a-twist! Lauren randomly pulls from a hat 2 distinct therapy modalities, and Luke jumps in with an on-the-spot explanation of how they are connected. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. It's a helpful episode if you are in the trauma healing world (personally or professionally) and are trying to better understand how these worlds connect. We have a tendency to learn through what we already know, to understand what is new, so hopefully that is what we are offering to you here! Check out our site FlourishTherapy.co if you'd like to learn more about our offerings.
In this latest episode we have a WONDERFUL chat with Bethany, the new mental health practitioner @flourish_therapy!
In the first half we ask a bunch of fun questions so you call get to know her and the lovely human that she is.
Then we delve into some questions about therapy. It's like a refreshing drink from the wellspring of insight and goodness she offers!
We hope you enjoy this time getting to know Bethany and hearing each of our hearts about this special work we do.
If you are looking for a partner in your trauma healing journey, please contact us via www.flourishtherapy.co to connect with Bethany!
Parenting can be one of the most dysregulating relationships and there are SUCH legitimate reasons why! We've invited parenting coach Lelia Schott from @leliaschott_synergyparenting on the podcast to explore what it is about parenting that makes you so vulnerable to dysregulation, how to better understand yourself as a parent, creating safety for yourself amidst the triggers of parentings, and how to cultivate a healing relationship with yourself and your child. You will find Lelia to be such a tender, encouraging soul, and we know this episode will be a breath of fresh air to weary parents. Lelia is a Trauma-Informed Counsellor, NeuroEmotional Practitioner, and a Certified Parent Coach. She is a South African living in a small coastal town in Cape Town with her family. Lelia’s children turn 26, 24, 22, 19, 12, and 9 this year. She loves swimming in the cold ocean and walking in the fynbos mountains. As a family, they are dedicated to softening the hurting and strengthening the healing for generations to come. Find her at https://www.leliaschott.com/ and on IG @leliaschott_synergyparenting 🌿 Lauren + Luke @flourish_therapy
This is a special episode where Lauren takes some time to highlight the powerful portrayals of the effects of trauma, abuse and oppression in the very moving series "Handmaids Tale". The series did a remarkable job showing how power, control and indoctrination quickly break down a persons sense of self and lead to utter despair and compliance. She covers some themes in the show: - conflicted loyalties - thorough indoctrination - making victims "complicit" in their abuse - authoritarian control, patriarchy - intense psychological abuse - religious, physical and sexual abuse (every kind is present) - the enduring love of a mother, and deep friendship And some of the effects of the trauma: - how haunted the victims are by their stories - warped sense of self - vengeance, anger, withdrawn and/or hypervigilant states - confused faith - people supporting the oppressors/perpetrators - difficulty finding safe support. While the series is an extreme portrayal of every kind of abuse, the themes and effects are similar in day to day life with those who are currently in abusive situations or recovering from it. This series is an invaluable teacher to those who want to better understand their own story and the epidemic of abuse affecting so many. If you have watched this series, take a listen to this brief commentary on it, and share it with other Handmaids Tale fans! (If you haven't watched it, but are intrigued, know that there are strong trigger warnings on this show for every kind of abuse imaginable. It is found on Hulu.)
"Conventional medicine approaches pain in this funny way. It operates as if the mind and the body are separate, when we know that they are continuously and unquestionably connected." Join us for another incredible guest episode, this time as we talk with Dr. Anna Redmond about the mysterious and frustrating topic of chronic pain. Dr. Redmond brings much needed clarity on the brain science behind pain, the factors that contribute to whether or not pain becomes chronic, and how the nervous system is intimately involved. We share some of our personal experiences with chronic pain, and talk about the power of neuroplasticity to help you recover from chronic pain. If you or someone you know wrestles with any of the various forms of chronic pain, you won't want to miss this episode! Find Dr. Redmond at drannaredmond.com and be sure to follow on IG @drannaredmond.
IFS- internal family systems- is an amazing therapeutic modality that brings dignity and understanding to all parts of you, particularly the ones that you have tried to suppress, manage, shame and erase for most of your life. Join us for this incredibly meaningful conversation with IFS educator Christine Dixon. You will discover the basic tenets of this popular approach to trauma healing, the 3 different types of parts all people have, polarization of parts, who Self is, how wounded parts become "unburdened" and the profound beauty of how healing happens. Christine Dixon describes herself as "a wounded healer leading other wounded healers into the house of Love so that we can heal the world" (I stole this from one of my IFS trainer's, because I loved it so much). With more than 20 years as an Educational Therapist, Christine's own relational, religious, and medical trauma eventually resulted in panic attacks and bodily symptoms that left her incapacitated. In a desperate effort to heal herself, Christine discovered how integrated her mind and body truly are. After training with renowned Life Coach, Martha Beck, Christine fell in love with the modality of IFS - Internal Family Systems - which she found to be the most direct, effective, holistic, and compassionate inner healing method she had ever encountered. After experiencing the healing of life-long physical and emotional wounds, Christine naturally began to share this "good news" with anyone who would listen. She now finds great joy and purpose as an IFS educator and group facilitator. Her website is: theordinarysacred.com and you can find her on IG: @the_ordinary_ sacred.
One of our 5 pillars of healing is "slowing down", and we have a wonderful interview for you with someone who has been intentionally cultivating the "slow life" for many years. Jodi shares, "I think we don't know what we're missing. Slow down and your passions will start coming out. You'll start seeing people in front of you in a totally different way. Your world will come alive!" With modern life so often running at a break neck speed, most everyone can benefit from slowing down their pace and prioritizing their true desires for their life. We've found when people can customize what the "slow life" looks like for them, they deepen their healing of the mind and body. Jodi Grubbs is a slow living advocate and lover of deep conversation over coffee. She lives outside of Raleigh, NC and shares a 1952 bungalow with her husband and teen daughter. As a former island girl, she is passionate about coming alongside women who long for that shift to slower living. She's a writer & the host of Our Island in the City Podcast, where she love conversing with guests about slowing down, faith, ordinary soul care and deep community. Her forthcoming book with IVP will release Spring of 2024. You can find her on IG @jodi.grubbs and on her site- http://www.jodigrubbs.com/
This episode should have happened already- but we're just now getting to it! The episode all about nervous system REGULATION. We explore the 3 primary nervous system states (safe + social, sympathetic and shut down) including what they feel like, what is happening on a biological level and what the body might need in these different states. We share a few helpful ways to easily remember the states, as well as the life-changing concept of "story follows state". We even delve into our own personal default states and how these impact our marriage relationship. While certainly not comprehensive, this episode will for sure give you a deeper understanding of regulation and your body! Which has the potential to impact practically every area of your life. Click on our about section to follow us on social media or visit our website www.flourishtherapy.co.
In this special episode Lauren lets you in to the private spaces of her story with chronic illness. She details the slow evolution of her failing health, the impact on herself, her marriage and family, and what ultimately propelled her into the healing modality of brain retraining. When she began brain retraining she had 70+ symptoms, multiple diagnoses, was down to eating only 10 foods, and had spent tens of thousands of dollars to get better. The first half of the episode is the time before she began brain retraining, while the second is her exciting process of recovery once she attended on program on brain retraining. Analogous to a wild, unknown trek in the outdoors, Lauren's story is teeming with heartache, physical suffering, trauma, ups and downs, healing and restored joy. The brain retraining program she originally did can be found at www.retrainingthebrain.com. If you want to work with Lauren and Luke to rewire from chronic illness and pain, check out the "Flourish Signature Program" at their site: www.flourishtherapy.co
There is a uniquely devastating effect of being betrayed and harmed by leaders of faith. Ryan Ramsey so poignantly shares what contributes to the formation of environments where this type of harm is so pervasive, and how this deeply impacts a person's identity, worldview, mental health and faith. Join us for this sobering and worthwhile conversation on betrayal, grief and healing. Ryan Ramsey (M. Div) is a writer, chaplain, & soul care provider who focuses in the areas of religious abuse advocacy and grief support. He’s published in places such as Ekstasis Magazine and Fathom Magazine. You can follow him on social media at @rramseywrites and he also writes regularly on Substack.
The field of Interpersonal Neurobiology teaches that the reasons you are feeling stuck relationally and personally as an adult, is very likely to have its roots in how your nervous system developed in those early years of your life. The evidence is mounting, and many are finding they can no longer ignore these realities churning beneath the surface of their lives. Join us as we sift through WHY our younger years have such a powerful impact on our adulthood, WHAT it can look like and HOW to move forward with this hard-to-accept knowledge. If you are interested in joining our online therapy group Regulate + Recover for Unhealthy Childhoods- message us or click the link in our Instagram bio. We would love to have you!
Do the relationships and systems you are a part of promote healthy commitment or toxic loyalty? Join us as we explore these distinctly different types of relationship, and discover the insidious nature of toxic loyalty masquerading as healthy commitment. We share what characterizes both, and the powerful question you can ask regarding reciprocity. This episode is a deep dive as we explore culture, systems, "covenant" relationships, coercive conditioning, how homogenous groups tend to promote toxic loyalty and how to empower yourself to make choices that honor your well-being.
Embarking on a healing process is so hope-filled. Imagining a new life, with a whole new way of being in the world can bring such longing to aching hearts. But what if the situation and relationships you are a part of make healing feel virtually impossible? What if your cues of danger, outweigh your cues of safety. How do you heal when your nervous system is so stuck, your body so traumatized? Join us for the special episode as we explore these hard questions with a brilliant colleague, Megan. |||| Megan D. Owen Cox is the owner of Mountain City Christian Counseling. She is a pastoral trauma counselor, with a Master's in Pastoral counseling. She specializes in spiritual process groups, individual Christian therapy, DNMS, Internal Family Systems and EMDR, while working with many clients who are recovering from abuse. You can find Megan here: Website: https://www.mountaincitychristiancoun Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MCCCCorp Watch this episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l6r2lYrK944
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/filledtoflourish/support
This episode we had the opportunity to talk with Dr. Camden Morgante again, this time about male and female "gender roles", sexism and the ideology of patriarchy. We explore the continuums within complementarianism and egalitarianism thought, as well as the fruit of such systems. Dr. Camden explains the difference between benevolent sexism vs hostile sexism. We share some personal anecdotes of being judged when we didn't fit into the "traditional gender role" categories. Lots of great nuggets in this episode, we hope you enjoy it! | Dr. Camden Morgante is a licensed clinical psychologist and former college professor. She writes and speaks about relationships, sexuality, and faith and is a regular contributor to Christians for Biblical Equality’s blog Mutuality. She is currently writing a book on the myths of purity culture. Camden also provides Coaching services for purity culture recovery, egalitarianism, and faith reconstruction. Camden lives in Knoxville, TN with her husband, their daughter and son, and two rescue dogs. Website: www.drcamden.com IG: www.instagram.com/drcamden FB: www.facebook.com/drcamden Twitter: www.twitter.com/doctorcamden
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/filledtoflourish/support
This episode we have the privilege of talking with Dr. Camden Morgante about the backlash of purity culture in religious settings and in broader culture as a whole. We explore the history of how "purity culture" developed and gained influence, some of the myths associated with it, the unsexy nature of the obligation sex message, and how some peoples bodies can hold trauma from the messages that come from purity culture. While largely unintended, there has been a lot of fallout and harm that has come as a result of this movement. It is beyond time for a reckoning. Many of the tenets of purity culture have produced rotten fruit, and we have the chance to begin repairing the damage, and recalibrating ourselves to a holistically healthy view of sexuality. | Dr. Camden Morgante is a licensed clinical psychologist and former college professor. She writes and speaks about relationships, sexuality, and faith and is a regular contributor to Christians for Biblical Equality’s blog Mutuality. She is currently writing a book on the myths of purity culture. Camden also provides Coaching services for purity culture recovery, egalitarianism, and faith reconstruction. Camden lives in Knoxville, TN with her husband, their daughter and son, and two rescue dogs. Website: www.drcamden.com IG: www.instagram.com/drcamden FB: www.facebook.com/drcamden Twitter: www.twitter.com/doctorcamden
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/filledtoflourish/support
Join us for the last webinar in our "Finding Your Way Back" series! In this webinar we explore the concept and practice of EMBODIMENT. What embodiment is. What the opposite of embodiment is. How we become cut off from our bodies. Barriers to developing an embodied sense of self. How trauma impacts how embodied we are. The benefits of embodiment. How embodiment helps us heal....and more! If you're just checking in to this series, make sure you take a listen to the other 4 Pillars of Healing. If you'd like to work with us 1-on-1, check out our services at www.flourishtherapy.co.
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/filledtoflourish/support
This is our 5th episode in the "Finding Your Way Back" series. Here we explore the concept and practice of "slowing down". Why slowing down feels bad. Barriers to slowing down. P.A.U.S.E. Our pace + the NS. The benefits of slowing down. How slowing down helps us heal. The invitation of slowing down. This is the 4th of Flourish's 5 Pillars of Healing. We will share about the last pillar next week. You can watch the presentation with the slides at our channel on YouTube or on IG. The discount code for Flourish Signature program is "30%OFF", and for the 2.5 Day Intensive it is "INTENSIVE30".
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/filledtoflourish/support
This is our 4th episode in the "Finding Your Way Back" series. This is all about COMPASSION. What self-compassion looks like. Some barriers to self-compassion. How trauma changes us. The physical benefits of self-compassion. How compassion helps us heal. This is the 3rd of Flourish's 5 Pillars of Healing. You can watch the presentation with the slides at our channel on YouTube. The discount code for Flourish Signature program is "30%OFF", and for the 2.5 Day Intensive it is "INTENSIVE30".
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/filledtoflourish/support
This is our 3rd episode in the "Finding Your Way Back" series. This is all about BEAUTY. The anatomy of beauty. The purpose of beauty. How trauma disconnects us from beauty. The invitation of beauty. The benefits of beauty....and more! We hope you enjoy and you FEEL an accessible invitation to enter more deeply into goodness and beauty. This is the 2nd in Flourish's 5 Pillars of Healing. You can watch the presentation with the slides at our channel on YouTube. The discount code for Flourish Signature program is "30%OFF". and for the 2.5 Day Intensive it is "INTENSIVE30".
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/filledtoflourish/support
This is our 2nd episode in the "Finding Your Way Back" series.
This is all about ACCEPTANCE.
Why acceptance matters for healing.
What to/not to accept.
The place for storywork + grief in acceptance.
The VERY BEST part of acceptance.
How acceptance (and lack of) affects the nervous system.
This is the 1st pillar in Flourish's 5 Pillars of Healing.
If you'd like to checkout the presentation with slides: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G-roPAJYxUA
If you want to join our next webinar live, and have access to the Q&A, join us Thursday April 21st, 9 PM EST. Sign up in the link: https://www.flourishtherapy.co/findingyourwaybackwebinar?r_done=1
Limited time discount codes for 3-Month Signature Program: 30%OFF, or 2.5 Day Intensive"INTENSIVE30"
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/filledtoflourish/support
We're SO excited about this new series on "Finding Your Way Back". It is all about SAFETY. What it is. Why it matters so much. How it's lost. The journey of rediscovering it. We explore how the nervous system develops, attachment, coregulation, neuroception, regulation basics, threat + safety, and the vagus nerve. (This was produced as a webinar, that's why there are some pauses. If you want to follow along with the slides, head over to our YouTube channel and watch the video recording).
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/filledtoflourish/support
Trigger Warning (Please put yourself, and your needs first as you listen to this episode) Abuse happens behind closed doors far more often than most recognize. While sometimes it's glaringly obvious- often the truth lies in the subtleties that society typically over looks or even justifies. Join us for a conversation with Samantha, a brilliant domestic abuse survivor, as she details her long and painful trauma journey in which she eventually realized her marriage was in fact, abusive. She shares with us how dangerous hope can be, the 3 things that must be present in a relationship that loves well, and how childhood traumas can set us up for abusive relationships in adulthood. You will not want to miss this episode. Samantha is a single-divorced, stay-at-home-mom-turned-business- woman, and a domestic abuse survivor and advocate. She loves spending her free time singing, running, hiking and enjoying her 3 beautiful children and amazing friends. If you have any concerns that you may be experiencing abuse, reach out for help https://www.thehotline.org/or Call 1.800.799.SAFE (7233) Visit flourishtherapy.co to check out our soon to be launched practice. 🌿
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/filledtoflourish/support
In this third episode in our abuse series, we talk with a (really amazing!) mental health professional, Danielle Farra Bingham, about her experience working with people who have suffered various abuses. She shares honestly about the many effects that abuse often has on people + how she sees people recovering from these painful traumas. It is such a wonderful conversation full of compassion, clarity + hope. Danielle Farra Bingham is a licensed mental health therapist in the state of FL. She received her Bachelor’s of Science in Psychology from the University of Florida, her Masters in Mental Health Counseling from Liberty University, and is currently getting her Ph.D in Psychology with a special interest in religious trauma. She is the founder of Vibrant Hope Telehealth Counseling where she sees clients all over the state of Florida. She also is a professor at Southeastern University where she teaches psychology, sociology, and counseling courses. She is passionate about quality mental health education, which is why she created her Instagram @the.farrapist, where she creates relatable content on various mental health topics. Check out our brand new practice, FLOURISH Therapy on IG @flourish_therapy or our soon-to-be-launched website flourishtherapy.co
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Join us for our 3rd episode in this series as we explore abuse and it's impacts on our hearts + souls. Abi has a unique, but relatable story of being very involved in ministry and part of an intense training program for 7 years, and yet decided to pull out in light of things that were being asked of her that were not in alignment with what she knew was right for her. This began a long, and often painful journey of reorienting her beliefs, healing her heart and recalibrating her role in the global church. In light of her experiences she has become so tender towards others who have experienced hurt in the church, believing healing and wholeness is available for all. Abi is passionate about creating opportunities for people to experience the joy and compassionate love of the Father. She has 12 years of ministry experience. She has traveled both nationally and internationally to lead worship, speak, and encourage the global community through her writing, music, and in-person and online groups. Abi is the founder of Abba’s Joy, which includes a community online platform where she shares blog posts, short encouragements, and other resources. Ultimately, her desire is to create a space where people will feel at home and can relax into the simple fact that God rejoices over us because we are the Father’s joy. Connect with Abi @abbasjoy or on her website www.abbasjoy.org.
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Welcome back to Part II as we hear from Heather Elizabeth on the rest of the 13 different patterns of abuse. Make sure you listen in to to Part I if you haven't yet. Heather is an abuse survivor and Certified Faith Based Abuse Advocate through Give Her Wings Academy. She is a group coach, podcaster, facilitator of Held & Healed: Christian Women Rebuilding After Abuse, + host of Safer Spaces Summit and Held & Healed Retreat. Contact her here: http://HeatherElizabeth.org + listen to her podcast here: shorturl.at/elEL0 Make sure to check out Safer Spaces Summit 2022: https://heatherelizabeth.org/page/safer-spaces-summit-2022
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Abuse is a pervasive + destructive element in so many relationships and communities. Awareness of what these dynamics look like is so crucial, as the way through towards healing is found in understanding, boundaries + appropriate expectations. Join us as we hear from Heather Elizabeth on the 13 different patterns of abuse. Heather is an abuse survivor and Certified Faith Based Abuse Advocate through Give Her Wings Academy. She is a group coach, podcaster, facilitator of Held & Healed: Christian Women Rebuilding After Abuse, + host of Safer Spaces Summit and Held & Healed Retreat. Contact her here: http://HeatherElizabeth.org + listen to her podcast here: shorturl.at/elEL0 Make sure to check out Safer Spaces Summit 2022: https://heatherelizabeth.org/page/safer-spaces-summit-2022
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On our journey of becoming an emotionally healthy adult, we often begin to recognize the way we've engaged relationally and culturally with others hasn't been from a place of health! Today we share an amazing conversation we had with Michelle Reyes, author of "Becoming All Things: How Small Changes Lead to Lasting Connections Across Cultures". We explore why we NEED cross-cultural relationships, how to have better conversations with people, when to walk away, knowing our own cultural story, offering people alternatives to racist rhetoric and getting to the heart of what people feel so we can have meaningful conversations. Her insights were SO helpful and her voice SO necessary! She offers such a refreshing way of engaging with people that are different from us, in a way that is deeply honoring and connecting. Michelle Ami Reyes, PhD, is the Vice President of the AACC and Co-Executive Director of Pax. She is the Scholar in Residence at Hope Community Church and author of Becoming All Things: How Small Changes Lead to Lasting Connections Across Cultures. Dr. Reyes lives in Austin, Texas, with her husband and two amazing kids." You can find her on IG @michelleamireyes or her site: https://michelleamireyes.com/
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Join us for this episode with a really special guest, Kate Boyd! We jump into what it's like to realize you're a #messymiddlechristian, the differences between deconstruction and deconverting, what is "disentangling", examining the parts of our faith that are cultural and the power of asking questions. Kate is a writer, Bible teacher, and host of the Happy & Holy podcast. She helps believers who find themselves in the messy middle between loving the church and leaving it to more confidently walk the lines between doubt and certainty and faith and action with love and grace for all. She has traveled the world to interview and tell the stories of believers on mission, and inspired by those encounters, she creates spaces to facilitate wholehearted discipleship in the church at home. She is studying theology with an emphasis in church history and biblical languages at Perkins School of Theology. Find her on IG @kateboyd.co or on her site at kateboyd.co
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On this very special episode we interview our most beloved guest ever, our daughter, Tessa. We discuss the specifics of what a glass child is, as well as how to better love the glass children in our lives. We are so thankful for Tessa's interest and bravery to tackle this topic publicly. She longs to help other kids with similar stories to hers, and we think this episode is a terrific step in that direction.
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Join us for our last episode in our series "Conversations About Race", as we deep dive into what it means to be "white" socially, culturally + relationally. We are joined by our dear friend, Maryah. Maryah is a RN by profession, a virtual Spanish teacher by necessity and expat living in the Dominican Republic with her multi-racial (white, black and biracial) and multi-cultural (white, Dominican-Haitian) family. She and her husband are currently navigating the waters of raising their biracial child in this up-side-down world. We are so thankful for yet another distinct perspective as we engage in this important conversation on race. Please let us know what you think of this series and consider sharing if you've found it valuable!
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The wait is TOTALLY worth it for our first three-guest episode! Join us as our guests delve into the (often) complicated journey of being a multi-racial/biracial person. We explore identity, belonging, labels and potential emotional health challenges related to being multiracial. They graciously allow us a peek into some specific stories of racism, microaggressions and fetishization that they have experienced. Often glossed over, we hope this episode creates more space for multiracial people to have the well-deserved, overdue, seat at the proverbial "table".
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In our second episode in the series "Conversations About Race" we have a really meaningful chat with good friends of ours. We explore the influence of fear on our beliefs, biases, being underrepresented as a minority, the impact of racism children, generational trauma, a growth mindset and more!
Daniel begins the episode sharing how we first met, and what my less-than-desirable response was at first, all the way through to how we developed the amazing friendship we share today. It's an awesome episode you want want to miss! A native of Aiken, SC, Jade Nealious is a Graduate from the University of South Carolina Columbia with a bachelor’s degree in Electronic Journalism, and also has a master’s degree in Management and Leadership from Southern Wesleyan University. She is a seventeen-year survivor of lupus (SLE) and rheumatoid arthritis. Jade founded "Crowing Lupus", an organization that helps men and women living with lupus avoid health disparities through education, finance, and advocacy across the state of SC and parts of GA. She grew up being surrounded by football + loves tailgating.
Daniel is also a SC native and graduate of Limestone University. He is a serious Dallas Cowboys fan. Daniel recently popped the question to his queen Jade, and through lots of happy tears she said yes! Daniel + Jade are a dynamic couple, who love + care about people so well. We're so thankful for their friendship. 🤍
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Welcome to the first episode of our podcast series where we will explore different conversations related to race. Listen in as we talk with dear friends of ours and explore how Asian-American's are not a monolith, the dynamics of being "the model minority", food injury, majority/minority culture, anti-blackness, colorism and more...We are deeply thankful for their willingness to share a peek into their heart and experience. What a gift this episode will be to so many! Stay tuned for the next two episodes in this series.
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Parenting has hands down been the most consistently challenging part of our adult lives. It has stretched, shaped, humbled and overwhelmed us over and over again! The more we learn about brain health + attachment, the more we desire to see our day-to-day parenting align with our understanding of human relationships. It is out of this deep desire that our 1 Month Parenting Challenge was born. Wanting to take your relationship with your kids (+ yourself as you parent your kids) to a whole other level?! Listen in + considering joining us this month for this exciting challenge. We really believe you will find greater connection, compassion and understanding of this beautifully, complex relationship between parent/child.
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A really amazing part of journeying towards better emotional health is learning to attune our ear to the voice of our inner child. This is the vulnerable part of us that carries our deepest wounds and unmet needs. Most of the time people learn to stifle and silence that voice, only for it to be still very much alive, buried deep under layers and layers, years and years, of painful avoidance. If our inner child wounds are not tended to, the pain will inevitably come out side ways, in hurt and destruction to ourselves and those around us. While a bit scary at first, it really is an honor to be able to lean in and listen to the voice of our inner child, and for the first time in a long time allow it to receive the compassion and care it has needed all along. Our relationships no longer need to be crushed by the weight of our unhealed wounds, there is so much love + freedom available as we do this important work.
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Conflict with our partners is often one of the most terrifying, vulnerable and challenging parts of being in an intimate relationship. It has this impressive power to bring out the most protective, panicked and seemingly illogical parts of us. Yet, what we say and do during conflict is directly connected to the massively big feelings we're swimming (sometimes drowning?) in. As the curtain gets pulled back and you get to peer behind the scenes, you will have this new found access to your partner's heart, and a pathway to a more human way of resolving even the most painful relationship breeches.
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In honor of recently celebrating 15 years of marriage (woo-hoo!) we decided to think over the most meaningful insights we've learned along the way! Enjoy as we share what has meant the most to us, what we wish we knew earlier on, and what principles we have become the foundation of our relationship.
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Sex is a profoundly intimate experience with another human, and the way we engage in our sex life is not random or generic. There are so many facets to our sexual journey + experience, and we believe our enneagram type is absolutely part of that! In this episode we begin a conversation about the intersection of our enneagram numbers and our sex lives. We took a survey with a small sample size (around 3 dozen+ participants), in which we pull some interesting data and possible connections from. Otherwise, we are simply starting this conversation with the hope of bringing more insight and awareness into our sexual relationships, for the goal of better connection and more mutual satisfaction! We would love for more participants to fill out this assessment, with the hopes of returning to this conversation at a later date with even more helpful data! You can find it here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1NAbfB1fjaqwn1toqhD06nJIXHiE3hB0syE6eExP66qU/prefill
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In this episode we chat about the rest of the Enneagram numbers: 5, 6, 7 and 8. Enjoy listening and stayed tuned for the next episode in this enneagram series. 🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍Our guest on this episode is a dear friend and wonderful human, Katie Miller. Katie is life consultant and Enneagram coach with a strong background in family and leadership counseling. Her joy is in meeting people in their mess and empowering them to walk in fullness of life with Jesus. Katie and her husband Ben live in Upstate NY, where together they direct a discipleship school focused on the heart. Katie does individual and group enneagram coaching, and life consulting. She can be reached at: Katie@benandkatieconstulting.com, Www.edmschooloftheheart.com, and on IG @Kmills.photo.
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The Enneagram has been around for a L-O-N-G time, but in the last few decades, and even more in the last few years, the Ennegram has exploded in many circles where self-awareness is valued and loving others well is held in highest regard. This tool has been tremendously helpful to so many, and we are THRILLED to be able to introduce you to the wonder of the Enneagram, or if you've already jumped in, help you deepen your insight. Our guest on this episode is a dear friend and wonderful human, Katie Miller. Katie is life consultant and Enneagram coach with a strong background in family and leadership counseling. Her joy is in meeting people in their mess and empowering them to walk in fullness of life with Jesus. Katie and her husband Ben live in Upstate NY, where together they direct a discipleship school focused on the heart. Katie does individual and group enneagram coaching, and life consulting. She can be reached at: Katie@benandkatieconstulting.com, Www.edmschooloftheheart.com, and on IG @Kmills.photo. Make sure you don't miss Ennegram Intro Part II once it's released.
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As we're earning a secure attachment, and growing in our understanding of our stories, we sometimes find ourselves back into seasons where we feel all our old vulnerabilities and insecurities calling the shots relationally. This is completely normal and doesn't mean we've gone all the way back to square one! Join us as we share personally how this might look, what seasons of life can often revert us back to our default attachment style and how to find a way forward with compassion and affirmation.
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Shock Alert We know, we know. But before you write this off, we invite you to listen in as we explore how our human connection in the earliest years of life goes on to affect the rest of our lives, and in light of this how important healthy attachment should be in parenting our children.
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We may have avoided this episode, as parenting is often excruciatingly painful for us to be faithful in. We desire for the Filled to Flourish podcast to always be an authentic outpouring of our lives, and we want our content about parenting to be no different. But, we finally felt "ready" to get started on this parenting conversation. We believe learning that we have a story, and that it matters, is at the foundation of our ability to parent from a place of wholeness and connection, instead of reactivity and hurt. If we don't bring awareness into our parenting of why we do the things we do with our kids, we will continue to cause unintentional harm to their hearts and ultimately their ability to attach well to other humans. We invite you to bravely take a deeper look, along with us, at how our stories are colliding with our parenting, and how to begin to find a way out of this crazy cycle of frustration and harm.
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Emotional + mental health are intricately connected to physical brain health. While we seek healing and wholeness interpersonally and relationally, it's wise to give some attention to the health of our physical brain as well. Listen in as I, a Nutritional Therapist, share the top 5 priorities for optimal Brain Health + some bonus material including supplement options and brain-healthy food principles.
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Many of us enter marriage not deeply aware of who we are yet, let alone who our spouse is. Mental illness often begins to take root in childhood, and yet the awareness and acceptance of our mental health challenges can come decades later. Our mental health, or lack of, has profound implications on the many facets of our marriage relationship and life. When these challenges are experienced in the context of a marriage relationship, shame and suffering abound, and we become further and further isolated from the connection we crave. The lack of understanding and framework of what it is we're experiencing only amplifies the powerlessness. Finding answers and understanding of mental health issues can bring profound light into the darkness, and connection can begin to flourish through mutual understanding. Listen in as we explore these truths and share more of our story with mental health issues.
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So many people don't ever recover from the brutal effects of spiritual abuse. They may go on to live "normal" lives, but the impact of such intimate abuse continuously haunts their souls, and brings destruction to their relationships. How does one get out from under it? How does one escape it's merciless grip, even years after leaving it behind. Listen in to Part II as our guest Mary Rosenberger shares the rest of her story of being in a spiritually abusive ministry as a child and into adulthood, and how she eventually finds new life. Read more/contact her on her blog: http://wearetheoutsiders.com/
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Desecrate: to divert from a sacred to a profane use or purpose. Our spirits were made for a sacred union with God and others. When these tender places of connection are manipulated and exploited, the impact on our hearts and lives simply cannot be understated. The disillusionment, trauma and utter hopelessness becomes the suffocating air the victim breaths, often with no foreseeable escape. Join us as Mary Rosenberger shares her gripping, heart-wrenching story of spiritual abuse from birth - 24 years old, and marvel at the resilience of the human spirit against all odds to heal and reconnect with the Living God. Read more/contact her on her blog: http://wearetheoutsiders.com/
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When you enter into marriage, you willingly choose to accept all that your spouse is bringing to your union. "Good times and bad, sickness and in health". Some of these darker things we are already aware of when we say "yes". But so many aspects of our lives have yet to unfold. Being married to someone with chronic health problems brings uniquely difficult and isolating trials. So much misunderstanding, so many lacking answers, so little clarity moving forward. Add in insecure attachment styles to the already complicated mix, and you will find yourself with a recipe for hurt, defensiveness and insurmountable loss. Is marriage and chronic illness incompatible? Is there a way through the blinding fog of illness to true intimacy and connection with your spouse, regardless of getting "better" or not?
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Surely the mystery and draw to sex has been from the beginning of time, spanning every country and culture, age and gender. How many songs, books, and movies have been created in an attempt to capture its beauty and wonder? Being so sought after and pursued relentlessly by the human heart, why is it that fulfilling, life-changing sex is still so evasive? Why are so many of our deepest desires left unmet? Our longings unfullfilled? Maybe sex really isn't all it's cracked up to be. Maybe it's really for the more carnal types, the unspiritual or unintellectual among us. Or maybe we've been so focused on the mechanics and aesthetics of sexual intimacy, we've actually missed out on developing the most beautiful part of a really great sex life. And we're left with our longings for something more meaningful. Join us as we carefully, yet boldly, examine attachment and sex, and invite us all to something so much better! (Content not appropriate for children, as you can imagine)
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We had the great privilege of having a conversation with a dear friend Casey Lee, the counselor and owner of Rooted Hearts Counseling in Columbia, South Carolina. Casey is such a caring and passionate counselor, and he shares with us what he sees greatly benefiting relationships in his work. What we all long for is to feel more secure in our relationships, through experiencing the ABCS of Acceptance, Belonging, Comfort and Safety. When the person we love is emotionally "ARE" (accesible, responsive, engaging), we can share our attachment fears, needs and longings with them, then we can engage in a corrective emotional experience. Over time these "corrective emotional experiences" change our attachment strategy. Listen in as we explore this beautiful dance of relational attachment and find out what we really need from our spouse.
https://www.rootedheartscounseling.com/
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An important outcome of gaining access and awareness of our story is that we begin to find our voice, sometimes for the first time in our lives. It is in finding our voice we learn to share our desires, needs and heart with those we love. This voice discovery gives us new courage to create healthy boundaries and avoid the extremes of codependency or being emotionally unavailable. We also navigate vulnerability in the context of unsafe relationships, and share some of our thoughts on divorce.
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Deep down many people understand that they do indeed have a story, and it impacts their present reality. But what about our spouse's stories? Sometimes our stories are just enough to handle... how do we enter into a deep connection with another human and bear the weight of their story too? Making space for our spouses story is a tremendous privilege and gift of love, while it also has the power to crush us beneath it. Join us as we share an intimate part of our story, and hear the redemptive thread of the pursuit of love and connection woven throughout.
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We grow up hearing our story as the first story we're ever told, and then we begin centering ourselves in the stories we start writing as little kids. However, somewhere along the way our heart shuts the door and locks our story away. Forgetting it, denying it, letting others write it for us....deadening a part of our heart and missing out the intrinsic glory we hold. Listen in as we explore the power of "story", and gain the courage to look at your story in a new, transforming light.
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As anyone who has ever loved someone knows, intimate relationships bring profound vulnerability. The relational bids that we exchange have the power to create close connection, or painful distance. Join us as we explore the different potential responses to these requests to connect, and how they significantly impact the strength and intimacy of a relationship. *Episode contains conversation that might not be suitable for little ears.
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What is an insecure attachment and how is it formed? Join us as we explore the difficult topic regarding how our lives and relationships are greatly impacted from the development of insecure attachment styles as a young child. Gain insight to whether you may have an anxious attachment, avoidant attachment or anxious-avoidant (also know as disorganized) attachment style. We also explore our attachment styles connection to our ability to regulate our internal world, and the maladaptive behaviors emotional dysregulation can lead to. Awareness of your attachment style can be the beginning of profound transformation for your emotional health and your close relationships.
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Attachment... emotional regulation...triggers? What do these words really mean and why do they matter? Join us as we discuss the purpose of early childhood connections and the impact they have on our future relationships.
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Welcome to Filled to Flourish! We are so glad you are here. We hope you will experience insight and compassion as your emotional health gets taken to the next level! Learn about our story and our passion for heart growth.
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