The Tangentalist: Recent Episodes
Macy Gage
Examining reality's ups and downs of Bipolar, this creative hacks through the confusion of today. While her insights will amuse you, as her experiences enlighten. What is it like being tripped up by disorder?
On today's show we have the multi-disciplinary Graphic Designer and Artist Gordon Moss. With years of experience Moss shares with us what inspired him down this path. How does his love of music play a part in his creativity? Has he found a platform for the two fields to balance each other? How has he seen Graphic Design change over the years? What made him decide to develop his creativity into more of an Artistic stream rather then the Design path in more recent years?
Join me as we go beneath the surface of Moss's creativity and how he actually became a designer. Was schooling his first choice down this road? What gave him the impetus to make this choice? What was it like starting out in Graphic Design? Was it competitive? How did design change over the years? Gord Moss shares his experiences in the design field, what were the obstacles? How does he see Graphic Design changing in the future?
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Being a Graphic Designer has been an exploratory career for this Creative Professional. Graeme has been a director of a Toronto Art Gallery for over a decade, and has now found his footing internationationally in Mexico. What led him to bringing his innovative business south of the border?
In this podcast we dive deep to discover what is behind the fabric of his creative practice. What drives him, what made him choose this direction in the first place? Join me as we uncover what influenced his style to use reclaimed materials? What does working with Artists really entail? How much has his creativity inspired others in the process?
Join me in this Podcast where we learn how Creative Directors think beneath the surface of the gallery ensemble. Where did his roots in being an Artist originate? How does Graeme see the transgression of his career over this last decade? Did he see changes in the Toronto Art Scene? Was the Hashtag Gallery a part of it? How did the ebb and flow of creative styles in the city influence his practice? Or the Artists in his rooster?
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Speaking with Montreal based Artist Claudia Dorey she reveals her process, her inspirations, and how she develops her imagination. Why is she happy when people dislike her art? And the meaning behind her fluid ingenuity.
How do people react to her unique style? How does she gain her introspection? And how does she deal with the challenge of finding spaces to show her creativity? Join me as we uncover what gives her vision of authenticity to stay true to herself.
https://www.artistcloseup.com/blog/interview-claudia-dorey
https://www.gallea.ca/en/artists/claudia-dorey
https://claudiadoreyart.com/
Podcast Credits:
Sound Effect from Pixaby
Audio links from freemusicarchive art from Claudia Dorey
and Podcast by the Tangentalist Macy Gage
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Speaking with Montreal based Artist Claudia Dorey she reveals her process, her inspirations, and how she develops her imagination. Why is she happy when people dislike her art? And the meaning behind her fluid ingenuity.
How do people react to her unique style? How does she gain her introspection? And how does she deal with the challenge of finding spaces to show her creativity? Join me as we uncover what gives her vision of authenticity to stay true to herself.
Article Claudia describes in this podcast:
https://www.artistcloseup.com/blog/interview-claudia-dorey
Podcast Credits:
Sound Effect from Pixaby
Audio links from freemusicarchive art from Claudia Dorey
and Podcast by the Tangentalist Macy Gage
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Join Macy Gage as she shares her latest mishap that has jolted her into a renewed way of seeing the world. One that is at a much slower, clearer pace. Where she can recover sensibly.
In this episode we take a deep dive into 5 inspiring stories of recovery by TBI survivors whose journeys to recovery help others understand; beyond their own narratives.
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Episode #31.5 Recovery Stories has just launched! Join Macy Gage as she unfolds her latest mishap that has reshaped and retuned her way of thinking, at least for a few months. She shares five stories of inspiring TBI recovery stories, how reflecting keeps her feeling grateful, and allows for perspectives beyond her own narrative.
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How can we define this word karma? Is it only a spiritual definition? Or can we reframe it and spin it to mean something that we can individually perceive to be special and unique for ourselves in our own lives?
In this episode we discover new strategies to balance the seasonal affective blues, we discuss our current tools, and how discovering other insights may just be the ticket to managing this new year's cold spells.
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Let’s just drown in it today for this episode. It’s an overwhelming feeling this week. I don’t know what happened, but I just woke up today and nearly cracked. I would almost cry while doing the dishes!?
I would wonder what is wrong with me?! I just realized I can’t do this routine that I had set up for myself this summer. I burnt out because I had stretched myself too thin. I was working out 7 days a week. I thought I had this under control, boy was I wrong. Managing to make sense of this chaos I had created gave me a raft to float on.
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Over the years since graduating university I thought being successful as an artist would just happen; that it would just fall in my lap. I think things like that only happen to the really wealthy people out there.
Going to school for art was sort of an Alice in Wonderland kind of experiences in some ways; I was able to spend excessive amounts of time on creating magical beautiful pictures. While I was surrounded by some of the strangest people in our country.
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Losing sight of the reality of the situation I had put myself in was the least of my worries. I had put myself in a precarious situation, and I had to untangle myself from it - easier said then done, especially since I was in the ICU and was in a coma.
Building relationships again, starting fresh, and being mindful of my stumbles. Join Macy Gage as she shares when she recognized her lack of empathy, how she didn't even know this word existed before, and how she learned to make it part of her personality.
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I have leaned on those first two words to becoming my focus as an artist, as a thinker, and how I see the world around me - I am always attempting to abstract the nature I see around me. Whether that be the physical natural world I like surrounding myself with; or the behaviors and relationships I see in the characters in stories, or even the people in my life.
Expanding our freaks is another way of expressing enriching our community, or circle of friends. I in fact think of it is a compliment because who really wants to be thought of as normal anyway? Expanding our freaks, this section, I wanted to go over how important developing relationships or refining our networks, or communities really is.
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This monumental arrangement of massive stones in Wales is how I sometimes saw Jude. How he carried himself, his strong, secure, and unmoving persona in his values, beliefs, and work ethic; has shown me how important he is in my life, and how I have taken him for granted for too long.
His family are great to, similar to those ancient stones that stand upright in an organized, circular like ring. They all check in on each other, have family get togethers every so often. I know that this is special to, something I know I was lacking for a long time in my own life - the special kinship of family.
I realize that I brought that on myself to, in some ways; but I also know that families move, change priorities, and become preoccupied with themselves to - so it is not all me. But there it is again, the grass is always greener idea!
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This is a repurposing of the word noose: It has been a difficult two years but I know that in the face of trauma most of us can shine brighter because we see how fragile life really is. There is a time for recover, reflection, regrowth, regrouping, rebirth – it has many names wink to Renaissance.
We need to treasure our family, our friends, and ourselves of course – let’s honor what we to can put into the world. Because who else is going to do it? No one but you can do it - that sounds weird, but it is true. Don’t forget that, confidence is hard to maintain but once you get into the groove, ride it for as long as you can.
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This episode just so happens to coincide with the anniversary of my trauma, also known as my car crash. It happened 25 years ago this May. I don’t want to celebrate it, but I do want to acknowledge it and how it actually saved me. If you’ve been following my Podcast you’ll be familiar with the episode #6 called: Wonderland Made Me Wonderful.
This is a play on words because it is an amusement park, and how can a park do that? But no, my naivety it shines it’s head every now and again, as if I’m still that 15 year old girl again. Sometimes I think my memory problems keep me this way, because there is no traction to make the mistakes stick in my brain so I don’t do them again. Anyway that’s another episode!
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Awareness and self esteem play an important role in either building us up or tearing us down. I had a low self esteem; but I presumed, that this was part of being a teenage girl. That I would get over it later on. It wasn’t something that deserved my attention.
Boy, was I wrong. Join Macy Gage as she discusses landing in teenage angst, leading to her injury, disorder and even pregnancy. See how she figured out what it all meant. Including philosophy, psychology, and an insight to stop you in your tracks.
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Why did I need to feel lousy about myself? Why didn't I see any value in me? I learned the price of my behavior was one tough lesson, or more specifically my lack of awareness; and how it plays an important role in either building up confidence, or tearing it down. Am I right or am I wrong? It needed me to shake it out of that nonsense.
I knew that I had a low self esteem; but I presumed that this was part of being a teenage girl, that I would get over it later on. It wasn’t something that deserved my attention. But boy, I was wrong. I was a decent looking girl, young, fit, , smart, going to school, I have a family – or was it the hormones? What ever it was, I needed a wake up call.
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Time management where does it go? Does it evaporate?? Is time a construct? Are we prisoners of our own lives by creating these routines we live by? Or is it how we frame it in our minds that gives us the fulfillment we seek? Join Macy Gage as she uncovers some skills and strategies that make every day that little bit easier to navigate.
While https://www.facebook.com/Tangentalist page has some links to explore with life hacks and youtube videos that can motivate you to find a new routine to structure yourself more effectively.
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Outrageous events sneak into our 5000 sided cube of memories; as if it belongs there; when the every day just flies by. Where is the limbo section? What gets in there, and how? Can we replace crisis with clearer versions of adventure and happiness? Macy Gage lists 5 top websites with key strategies to improve your memory with links available at: https://www.facebook.com/Tangentalist
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Climbing out of discontent I put together some thoughts that have been floating around my brain. I shared them on the Tangentalist Facebook Blog and have gathered them here with additional insights. Generational themed Loser anthem, changing how you think can change your world, talking about talking, memory on stilts and jumping down the stairs . As well as wherever you go there you are yet how do we forget this?
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Season of Illusions and delusions perpetuate my psyche these days. The days getting shorter, the retreating sun behind the clouds has never affected me as much as it has this year. That being said there are a few gems to share on how I make sure it doesn't get the better of me.
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This is how I saw it back then. Or at least I thought I did. I was inviting danger into our perfectly set up flat in the Gay village. I mean it wasn’t perfect as one window didn’t have a screen and the bathtub was pink, but it was really big with a great layout. It over looked Church Street the hub of the gay community in downtown Toronto, Canada. We were near our school, the rent was reasonable, and the area was full of fun, interesting often international people ready for a party at any second.
I had to put a stop to this seemingly ideal situation. Why did I deserve it? I had made life for Jude a living hell. We broke up frequently. I was in self-sabotage mode again. I’m not sure if I was fully aware at the time, but I wanted to wreck this infallible setting. Something was wrong and rather then addressing it I chose to ruin it by bringing dangerous people into our place. I even was trying to separate myself from Jude in the space claiming that he could have one side of it while I had the other! At the same time I was inviting strangers’ in from the street. Becoming intimate with some while others were taking items with them as they left! I was so out of it I didn’t notice until the next day.
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There is a lot to be said about Memory, Friends and Ego. How does memory get into a landslide? How do friends show value with reciprocity? I didn't think the friends that I had helped me get to the trajectory that got me to where I am. As I think some of us are aware that we always want what we don't have. Moving too much, diverting from friendships were my pitfalls. Realizing the sense of self importance and finding humor are the keys to disguising my bruised fruit identity.
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Being tripped up by disorder while going to university, I didn't see it that way at all. This aside my faculty was organizing a trip to the Big Apple and for some reason I though it was a good idea to go. The only problem was I had no money, I was spending it like mad because I was undeniably manic - even though I wouldn't admit it. Jude had a friend Ivan who wanted to lend me the money. I took it and decided to be reckless and destroy any sense of sanity that I may have had.
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I was a mess back then, the demands of school, managing my condition, and trying to find where I fit, in the big city socially and economically. Finding my purpose, or a thread that seemed to fit that idea really gave me focus then and now. In a way knowing early on that I was artistically inclined helped to give me direction. Over the years I have wavered, as do many of us, in where we see our lives taking us.
Because opportunities sometimes lead us in different directions and take us some where we least expect. Essentially I believe having this goal of mine way back when I was a kid developing in my early teenager years; really gave me a foundation, a framework to work with that during times of struggle is crucial. It gives structure when my life after the crash was appearing lost in limbo. This with changing my thought patterns on TBI and my injury really helped lift me out of the slumps of where I seemed to be drifting. Keep exploring these strange insights that may have you wanting to start a discussion!
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This took some time to process, because a toxic person from my past contacted me via Messenger - who knew they could get through even when they're blocked. Even bad actors have some form of intelligence. Actually it is more a case of opportunity accidentally resembling innovation.
That aside I was shivering on the inside when I skimmed over it during a delicious weekend brunch. Immediately after I felt dirty and had to escape to the great outdoors. The power of nature triumphs again.
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From one listeners feedback this episode summarizes the up to date content into little summaries with a brief description on what is to come. These little glimpses into The Tangentalist podcast give an overview of what this Podcaster/Blogger is trying to achieve. It also refers to the insights that are provided in most episodes and their location. As well as the social links that can be visited by people that are interested in delving a little bit deeper into the absurd world of this disordered individual.
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Feeling entitled , I was not realizing that was my disguise. I flaunted it like a new pair of shoes. There was no reason for it but a previous lover having a free pass. Blinded by the allure of the french men in Montreal I floated on my manias until the police came for me.
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Putting myself in precarious situations seemed to be my specialty. Nude modeling seemed exciting, but the scariest part wasn't the nudity. Rather it was the shame that went with it. Correctly framing things, chunking, and thinking differently moved Macy into a better way of seeing her surroundings.
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Expecting too much of our undeveloped minds. Jude and I made it our mission to succeed at OCAD. Along the way I had to duck and dive from my own ubiquitous attitudes. Join Macy Gage as she uncovers hidden structures of stability and sanity amongst her obvious stumbles.
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With the ying and yang symbol there is balance, interconnectedness, and duality. The same can be said for Bipolar. During the confusion of college, being caught stealing, complex relationships, and my birth mother disappearing. The Tangentalist shares some strategies, reviews, and insights on boundaries. Join Macy in how she found some perseverance.
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Awkwardly Forever, or so it seemed back then. Macy Gage and her bipolar trip her up every time. Especially when she decided to go to Post Secondary School. She tries to fit in, but has a hard time, when she shares catastrophic moments of her life as an introduction to one of her life drawing classes. Madness seemed to ensue, yet she managed to meet a unique guy just by carrying her portfolio into a coffee shop one day after class.
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Trust is dismantled, as I am overwhelmed. College applications abide, OCAD accepts as I dash back to my hometown. Dissolving relationships as brand new downtown room mates fold me into a table and discard.
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Mother arrived in a white truck. We get drunk and disguise the truth in alcohol. She disappears in a flash, as my family lives in another country.
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While I imagined I was in love with Mr. Sonic Pumpkin man; I was applying to a number of schools. I was still recovering from my brain injury, but that wasn't going to stop me. According to the right people I was fine. The only problem was I really wasn't all there. I mean I was, when you looked at me you saw a girl in her early twenties who had maybe seen too many raves, and maybe a little too many drugs.
During my days just before university it was a reckless time of imagined girl bands ruined by misunderstood naked twists, and anxiety of not belonging. I was determined to find a flat and re-acquainting myself with my sanity through furthering my education. Side Note: This episode contains tips and strategies on managing the COVID19/CCP Pandemic.
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Scrutinizing how I survived the repercussions of trust and recovery I share with you the mishaps that happened on the 401 that left me a girlfriend in a coma; traveling warp speed into sonic dreams of becoming the figurative idea of Sugarkane.
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Collecting these traumas like wreckage from an accident or a fire, while being distracted by adolescent angst. I wasn't aware as I experienced them. In a way I was seeing them as if I was watching myself on the television. It was like I was separate from myself. It was happening around me, but it did not impact the direction I was going. I was on my own downward trajectory. My demise I had a hunch was in the mail.
The mail ended up taking me to the USA, where I partially recovered with a pursuit to come back to Canada. I was on the hunt for a man I started dating, who looked just like Billy Corgan from the Smashing Pumpkins. I barely knew him, but there was time for that for sure in the days to come.
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Tags: youth, teenage, angst, trauma, divert, direction, collision, brain injury, recovery, support, family
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Published: Feb. 24, 2020 @ 5PM Edit
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It was originally suppose to be a school trip to a Nationally recognized theme park for the graduating class; but we took it upon ourselves to do something different. I didn't know it was going to change the rest of my life. I thought it was just another road trip going somewhere fun. It became something else that I didn't really take seriously enough, well, until it was too late.
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Finding the thread to keep me focused while at the same time losing myself to the darkroom, the sketch book, and the exhilaration of youth.
Moving to Eastern Ontario meant a lot of changes. I was changing into a teenager, while everything around me was new to. Including the man in his 20's who started dating me.
It seemed sexy, dangerous, and cool at the time. What did I have to lose? I wasn't a kid anymore, or so I thought. I was grown up, well sort of.
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Was I twice removed from my youth? Or were there other distractions? Did I cause any of it with the move? Brain Injury and Bipolar what do they mean? What celebrities have it? Getting distracted while finding the thread of music and art to keep me stable kept me wandering.
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When I was quite young I fell hard for Bowie. His Space Oddity spoke to me, it seemed directly. Feeling alone in outer space. 'Take your protein pills and put your helmet on. Planet Earth is blue, there is nothing I can do...' His uniqueness, ambiguity, his constant growth and change as a musician, I felt like there was a connection. He spoke to those fascinated with astronomy and exploration - and that was me.
Sharing my misunderstood self-proclaimed artistic genius of when I was a teenager; and how before my catastrophes I knew there was something that needed to be seized, but I didn't know what, or where to find it. Maybe it was the fame train I would just always miss by minutes? The destiny was there, I would just manage to not make it. The exploration part I was determined to make sure that happened.
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Is a title of a book by a Canadian author I read when I was just going into high school. It didn't make much sense to me then and still doesn't now. Back then nothing made sense, teenage angst with hang ups of exploration rooted in the structure of education.
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Chaos, Catastrophe, Catalysts how do they start? Why do they start? Where do they start more often? On an individual scale, with me well they began with a beginning. Dancing With Applesauce is what I call it: Where it came from - adoption, moving and - we'll get into that later. The search begins:
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