School Of Thoughts! {Habel}: Recent Episodes
Habel
Sharing about how we view life.the matters that we think about but don't talk about.The perspectives about life that we have yet we don't take time and voice them out.I shall not only speak about them and think and pass them through even from conversations that make meaning in life. Finding objectivity in observations, experiences, researching and voicing!
Irrespective of any issue that comes up within your circles,the ability of one to be incontrol of self,not to overreact or even loose it but rather stay calm and in control of his or her emotions allows them to steer the whole situation devoid of anger or any emotion that might affect the situation.
- Why did you meet them or them you.2. What you are doing(improved each other.3. When the season(a break,a break up, or a done deal and you remain in touch but not as before)
Complaining, comparing, and carping are things that steal our joy,we need to watch these 3 and we shall get to enjoy what we have right before us!
Being able to truly start a growth process beyond: delayed debts,issues,or even people who have hurt us,it's a first step to think of the delay it causes and the need to let it,them,those go...
When we reach out and the other parties are not willing or responding to it:one day, it will come to an end, and there will be no more of the reach out or meet up!
It's the number of times we have made promises to people only not to fulfil them.Making them stay,wait,be glad to be, and even camp on our side only for one not to come through,making them end in hurt,pain and confusion only because we lied from the beginning or did not speak the truth as it is,or even were excited at the moment.
The ability to pour into any form of relationship what we want back so as to help it grow!
Everything has a time/period set for it (scheduled), and it is always for a reason(appointment).. if we all do understand this,then our need to complain or wallow in a particular thing will easily come to an end.
When we do have conversations,what is the intention behind it? What is the take away? How does it I.pact or leave us as participants.We thought it wise not to always be casual about it,but rather be intetional of the extract of the moment shared.
They are always used as a dip-stick to our human relations.and why not learn more about ourselves to improve our own characters!
Life happenings are always about these two angles Event:What we are doing now,what is happening,what we are dealing with as it is lased with emotions and we may just think of it as a one thing of the moment.Yet it might have great repercussions way after. Process: is to be able to think it through,plan,convene,organize, and even think of the after-math!
This is an analogy of the pet lines/ropes/chains, and we compare it to relationships where we think we can equally control people in our lives.if we are not careful we get hurt when they don't comply to our expectations of the translation of how the relationship should be.We think we can control,command and demand how they should react...
This is any point in life that out of our self: there's a voice out of what will fun your ego and inclinations to change your acts for better.Despite ourselves being co fortaleza in our skin,we need a voice of reason thus the calling out! A person who can tell you the truth bluntly or even politely but a wrong or mistake or even misbehaviour in our actions to be called to correction.
At times, we get to maintain a certain group of people around us and we get comfortable in them,despite needing a different view on a particular matter.It has lead many astray missing out on need by settling on what is comfort,making us loose even on important things in life.If we check on our socials and move away from our familiar grounds we shall always find knowledge,understanding and wisdom applicable for the new levels we arr walking in to and the changes that come with seasons.
This is actually an ironic header because it's being able to learn how to hold one back in the midst of a conversation not to spill,over share and layer self questioning of "how best did I represent myself in that setting?"
This is a 'social shelf life':where we need to be cognisant of the fact that seasons change,and our stay in a particular relationship(friendships) are bound to have twist,turns and sometimes end.Having turmoil and distance created and with such recognitions we shall stop struggling to fix what has been passed by its time encouraged to accept the situation and allow it to go!
The ability of one,recognising a particular habit,action, or even style that makes one worse as a person.As soon as it affects the ones around you,you might needto learn how to stop yourself from further spiral down the hole.
This is a matter of changing the status quo.it calls for being intentional of the same thing/situation and one needs a change.Breaking the egg is having to give something up and it starts by noticing the gaps,deciding to make the choices and actualy not doubting the decisions one makes! Which leads to the 3 panels of observing this:personal,third parties and communities/enviroments we are in.
That which we tend to enjoy so much might hinder us from experience more,in new spaces introduced to us.The autonomy that we so much enjoy,sometimes might be interrupted by instructions and a different order all together and we allow it to pass us by because we are okay "jailed" in our now and if not careful afraid of the unknown!
Most of the time, we dont notice the changes that occur in our friendships live us feeling bad.Most of the times these tlchanges arre good I.e marriage but because they affect our past times and togetherness that we feel bad/jealousy chokes us,if we don't watch it we may sound entitled and even blind and selfish because it's always about us and how we feel and not them!
This is about the genuity of our complements to people.Not flattery but true words of affirmation,reminder,observations...with zero expectations from them but just to light their day up,as you truly mean what you say to them more so strangers!
This is everytime we complain about issues,finding ourselves rushing for rescue even when theirs no emergency and always crying faul.
Many are the times,we do not deal with issues and matters at hand for later only for us to come and deal with,together with new ones and only if we cleaned 'them' at that time,we would not have a lot to deal with later!
The ability for us to compose ourselves in the two most sensitive situations:anger and happiness.we need to learn to realy be in total control of ourselves not to mess things further or put self in more demanding situations after our decisions at the hit of things!
Their are significant things that happen in our lives: most of the time, they affect friendships and need to be understood to make the transition easy to the people involved.
This episode is about being careful of what we say when we get to say it .For words can create or destroy, bless or curse...
When we avoid what matters in our lives and always choose to dodge,tell part of the truth,stretch the truth and even literally running away from meaningful conversations and spaces to what we convince ourselves is right even when we are wrong!
This is every time we think it's our right to be assisted,heard, or even involved by our socials.We sometimes,if not all the time, become enraged if we are not involved.that ladies and gentlemen being ENTITLED.
Axe: an issue which is supposedly already discussed and done withWedge: a person who is provoking,instigating,disturbing the peace by reigniting or restarting a matter which was already dealt with,causing unnecessary tension.
It's always an annual decision when the year begins.It's about the relationships that we have formed over years.and in this, we are sometimes avoiding the issue and playing victim even if we are the course! What if we rethink how to do it.
You have to constantly be cognisant of where you stand in the tea set.cups will wait to be poured in to same as the tea pot needs to be refilled constantly so that it can pour!any residue or remains in the tea pot is always considered garbage.
The ability to be sensitive to the ones we offended,it needs to be a process to apologize and let the matter cool down literally.A chip of trust has left the offended:there's need to work it back,so if we realy want it to get better then we let the person heal and go back,even if it means space and little communication with respect to their healing.it might call for one even to avoid normalcy (jokes,calls,randomness...) just allow them come back to your former camaraderie.
This is a successive process of learning about a situation in our relationships:LoveHurtForgiveLearn
This is the habit showing off,yet there's work to be done for self,not for people.Mostly in matters/things that are constructive.The lack of personal accountability makes us be in more hurry to show others(what we are made of),yet there's work to be done for objective results and mostly it's personal.
These are things that people don't talk about or engage a lot in because they are important yet sensitive to each person.It's always a process, and pretence has made them manoeuvre conversations:smiling,grinning make a light comment but yet inside they are realy struggling,in their privacy they cry,and in their spaces they are 'choking' sometimes even 'drowning' in the thoughts.thus the unsaid.
When you actually believe in that which you re doing in a group activity,the best way to get assistance,correction, and even change,one has to come out loud(self believe).killing doubt and delay.It is only Farr that one comes out of their fears and second guessing ti a place where you can spotted and assisted for the better!
Shame can be a chain,it holds you back from exploring and puts you in a cocoon:it makes you stay somewhere for long because of the unexpected,but just if we jump beyond the invisible line,we discover more about self and delay we had before!
This episode is about bringing down our idea of help: the anger that it might provoke,the entitlement that it Instigates,the disappointments that we face if not given to us, and also the idea that its a compulsory thing to be done to us!
This is about the necessary relationships,people,information..to be able to work better in any spaces that we walk in to irrespective of scope:cooperate,social ,family, work, or even homes.
This is the ability to move from our yester_habits in order for change to be effective, and we get to experience different things:family,friends,business,personal...
It's the ability,to question self in the midst of a situation and be able to answer it honestly: that I truly might have played a part in the disagreement need for me to own my end of the complain
The need to help someone should preceed the need to talk about their downfall/discrepancies.people come to us or we go to them in search of help not talk.so if we can not assist lets just drop it and stay quite.
It is how we need to view situations in life/situations:one side is always reflective(how we see it),the other side is (how others see you)...be careful and avoid the need to be self righteous but rather slow to judge,and ready to listen,also quick to apologize.it makes us a better people.
The many times in life that we have been told to wait for the situation(dust) to favour us for us to react or respond.What if we went ahead despite us not knowing what is to happen,because life moves on irrespective of us taking a bench;others will keep on,and we will not be able to catch up!
Yes, we might disagree, but we don't have to make it worse because it's already bad: this means yes, we are parting ways, I would like to say No to your offer and still keep the relationship even if you ruffled me,I don't have to come to your level but still stop it and tou from going on in disrespecting me.
Just like a hand shake,friendships will one day end,the hands will have to let go someday.and it's the reality at hand.
This episode is about what we usually need and the ones we want.We end unsettling for what other people have not what we need and it ends up not realy working for udls yet we could as well pick what is pocket friendly and truly useful to us not useless after a few days in our hands
It's all about making changes to continuous cycles that have been going on despite them being wrong.It needs one person,one decision,one courageous person to bring to a hault all these nefarious and ugly acts that affect people.
Its about the people who we admire in their spaces.they are so successful because of this singular focus they have on their gifts/business or even achievements.
Showing up is so key in life,it calls for these facets :Show up Time: Resources : Skills: Interest: Concern: Presence:
The ability,to know what to share,what to keep quiet on and how to go about issues or even matters.It's only fair that we leaen everyday that not all matters are a group matter!
It's a selfish need in every one of us. when we create this unwanted/uncalled for ,and its unfortunate thatit feeds our dark parts,that give us a smokey/fake power!..and theirs urgent need to kill this habit.
The other person on the kings Retenue.And we are talking about the kings dresser:the oerson who gets you at your helm and is supposed to support your well ness at that level.
This is when we discover that sometimes we are our destruction.Need has to be taken to take care of that and be better!
These are things that we are daily battling with(privately).We are not always willing to show it to the outside because we don't know that we are battling,the good thing is we all go through them!the better thing is when things are brought to our concious,we become more intetional in soughting them,bringing them undercontrol..
These are values to look for in your friends as you get to your 30s,the idea is to take care of the small circle that you have and check your self with what you gain from them.
Biases hinder us from objectivity.involving 3rd parties on matters that are not their concern and some times the matters dont relate.
The intetional human need to be absent in matters/spaces that are important: family,frienship,work...the idea is to observe how it works or doesnt work.
When we realise the power to forgive or hold on a grievance that is between two peopleis is in self.Just decide !
It is always amazing when we need to find answers for ourselves but we use third parties.so what we do is actualy find project on other people our fears,our situations our present time issues!
Discussing The many aspects/values/issues that rise and need to be checked on while we are doing life with friends:money,respect,concern,time,character,disputes...the questioning of frienships based on our values might ruin a good thing,think about it!
Learning from the ladies ,admirable demeanors:being able to be instructed.It gets one informed,correctable,instructable..
Many are the times we always want to be solved,and so we go to people i.e pastors,confidants,parents,guardians friends etc and all we want is for them to hear us out to solve us,irrespective of their own mental or physical state!We are pseudo selfish at this point because we care less of how they feel.
Barnabas shared his smarts and wisdom on his take on best mix of values for meaningful friendships.I took the notes and voiced them,whats your take?
These are some of the modern day practices that I would encourage for growth in any field in the modern day industries.When anyone wants to survive/thrive:-Adaptability,Company& Execution!
This is a combination of my recent recollections of the people around me. who are not only bringing out the best of me but slow me down on how best to deal with others by being more considerate rather than judgemental!
This is to the many times that we have opinions,conclusions and judgements that we make on people who have just met.It happens that we tend to preconclude who we think they are and their capabilities even before we allow them to express or reveal them selves to us or the many.
Evrynr has a first time on every opprotunity(job openings).and we always if not sometme walk in with some confidence that we are able to change the world with our addition.What this episod is about is to prepare people to be able to mange their expectations!
These are the times that we need to be able to be our gate keepers:verbaly or even in action.To be the first one to call ourselves out before we do things that are regretable.We need to learn to this from the many times that we are told to rectify self for personal growth purposes!
This is about what reels you in, and what are you fighting in your day today. Habits that you are fighting to win. and it's always in the mind where decisions are made and the freedom of the will which is fueled by either choice that you make. it's a constant push and pull of all that goes on in your mind! It has been the personal internal tiracey.
Its all about allowing a leader be led,borrowed heavily from the practice of music groups..and everyone takes their turn as the give back up to the others when they are leading!
It's easy to pick on mistakes from people who are doing something.it would be easy to understand one objective and be at least complimentary or just clap for them for achieving something rather than sit and wait to pick on what was not done, yet there's a lot that was done..so let's learn to clap for the doers.
Have is what we have on, with,by us..while Not is that what we dont have.In a great swahili proverb a far placed stick will never kill the snake.We have so much been trained by society or self that l,that which is outside us is better and even forget that which is inside us or in our hand.which exactly need sometime!
Everytime we feel down and low,we are almost tempted to pull people to our mood.We become inadvertently manipulative to other people: we become insesnitive to theri situation,position,need or conditions and we demand their time,care and attention...
We always have choices in life: the only problem we have is that most people tend not to be responsible of any choice that we make.and m
What we all need to know about cars wellness are these three things that were passed to me by a stranger.1.Maintanance 2.Service 3.Handling...if we emulate these 3 in our own lives,we are guaranteed for a great change!
Access misused is when we abuse the audience,a view,an allowance to get in to a particular place.it sometimes maybe as petty as talking where you are supposed to listen,or even when you put your feet up in someones cofee table or even messing someones fridge arrangement becuase you are been allowed and didnt respect the chance accorded to you!
We have inadvertently cripled others bu making them constantly come to is for things that we could teach them and allow them be Independent.compeletely devoid of us and allowing us (depended on)..to have more time on our selves,to learn more.We have made people think of us more as solvers for even trivial matters that they can handle on their own.
Tea set Theory is a description of how we relate.The tea set represent either a cup or Kettle: which one is only supposed to pour,and the other to receive and none should be in question or doubt of their duty..just like friendships one has to know their purpose in it,either to receive or pour in to and be okay with that
It is an analogy of cup(person),content(character) which for a long time we have tried to separate the two.Character maketh man is a common saying but what if,we allow people change? Won't be the same ones to say he was bad but now he is a good person(not a bad person with good character 🤔
These are the many acts that we do(good or bad)..when we sometimes wonder what happens to us continuosly unexplained and tend to forget that which we did.sometimes it stays longer before it changes because we don't realise it is the reap/harvest of our social afore input.
Many are the times we pick the faults in people(so do we have them).On the flip side,when this is observed we actually can get some attributes which are admirable,also can be immulated to make our selves better only if we observe.Kei apple have some succulent fruits!
The very many times that we are needed to practice wisdom.Being able to hear and hold information for the better good.Because the reaction,the matter and the people sometimes are better left as they are for the damage might be bigger or even the matter might not be a non issue...
In life we all grow,and acquire a different interests.This needs to be accepted by all our former socials because we might always stay stuck in a past that needs to be accepted by both parties(you and I ) that we have either grown or out grown or even we have acquired new activities over time!
It's a person's take on who as friends should one have around them.As hard as it may seem or our difference in preference of friendships,we should consider OPY (Older,Peer,Younger)
Simply because someone doesn't talk about somethings doesn't mean they don't go through it or think about it.It might be a matter of strain or psychological pain thus they don't condone nor participate in the conversations. They shouldn't be provoked or even be joked about,because they know the pain underlying .
Most of the times what we seek is with someone else:mostly answers about life.be it romance,finance,spirituality,social,lifes general questions; these are all hidden in someone's book,story,question,sharing,seeking them and even directly asking them.If we only be intentional enough them we shall be very much solved!
It's always what we are all seeking for: some level of mental peace that everyone is seeking.This needs a physical place,a set of values and mostly people providing this space! #safespace
These are the relationships that we publicly destroy but privately we might need to go back for something and sometimes it's irrepearable
The dire need for everyone to constantly keep growing(in the art and space,from a past know how) and to develop (skill,prowess,knowledge).It's a necessary requirement for our continuity irrespective of our societal standing or even professional position.
The modern day socials have been reduced to TRANSACTIONS(I put in to get something out),instead of RELATIONAL(Where there's invaluable values like faith, trust...) that need to be inculcated.
Brought about by our constant need not to listen but rather prepare for a response.It is very detrimental to constructive or even objective response to any question asked.
We sometimes truly and genuinely forget about ourselves most of the time.we give out,and forget to love and care for self;the same self who is needed to take care of others
It should be a our daily habit,to remain humble enough to hear from and learn from trusted sources and also be able to for go our past knowledge to make our selves better with time!
It really matters who speaks to us and we end up listening to.As much as the decisions are ours despite the multiple sources of advice we might have.We need to be careful as to who we allow to speak in to our lives.It's very a much needed resource for personal growth be it carrier or life in general so as to either avoid bad outcomes or even grow to better beings.its extremely important we choose well for a consequence that might not be in our control but the results are almost all positive.
This is my personal experience that many can not speak about but just go through the emotion,because its such a custom made feeling.i have tried to explain how I view it.hope someone relates
The Illusive power,which makes people who are incharge keep with people that are under their purview.Constant begging.beging and coming back to them for a small thing that you need to solve at the snap of a finger