Late at night. Random thoughts might be appearing out of nowhere in the back of your mind, keeping you up for over an hour. Well these texts are based of mine. Be prepared of some weird deep random stuff. Their might even be a few short strories coming your way.
Wy does the reason matter if all it does make me look perfect in societys eyes
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What it feels like for me to be traped in a flashback, or memorie.
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what I want from somenone special.
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I'm jealous a lot. So here is why.
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Here is what I do whenever I can't fall asleep. Maybe you do it too.
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If we never see each other again, there are a few things you should know about
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A letter to my grandma and what I wish I could tell her.
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I once heared someone compare mental illness to cancer. Here is why I think that fit's.
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I watch him from a distance, hating myself for hurting him. If only there was something I could do.
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Based on the Quote: "sometimes we don't realize how people treat us until we try to explain it to somebody else."
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We all know that the stories we dreamed ourself into as kids aren't real. However it would break me if they were and I'm just not a part of it.
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I need to get these voices out of my head. They keep ruining everything.
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Instead of setting goals for the new year, how about reflecting about the last year.
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Here is what goes on in my mind while spending time with my family and a lot of the times with my friends.
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Just a few questions I ask myself again and again.
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I'm sorry I can't be more or better. I'm sorry that you will leave too.
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The worst way to die is when you don't do it physically.
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As a tiny human being how can I ever feel important. It isn't until you shift your view away from the whole universe and towards the lifes you have changed.
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Some stories should better stay fiction. However when we realize that it's usually to late.
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Even when I feel like giving up is the only way. I won't do it. Not yet.
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I want my life to pause. And if death is the only way... We'll see how this goes.
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This is the point where my journey began. Let's start of at a happy little place.
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So you are the one thinking that you hurt me. Well...
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Why am I not worth for someone to hurt when they lose me?
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...or maybe I'm just scared of what it will do to me when I loose you.
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A sometimes describe myself as the floater friend. Here is what I mean by that and why it hurts so much.
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"I can't lose control" not over the way you see me, even if it is just that perfect picture Wich isn't real.
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I'm not the main character or the villain but here is who I think I am.
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Let me tell you about the self harm I do to myself.
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These days I am not feeling to well, except for a few short minutes.
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When you're tired of everything and just want your live to stop. Same here
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My opinion about relationships. Or more specific why I sometimes dream about having one even though I know it is never going to happen.
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A little motivation for someone who might needs it. Or maybe just the kind of words I once needed.
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Why is it so hard to heal? Why do we have to get worse in order to get better.
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Sometimes I feel like a liar when I say "I was busy". And here is why
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Yes, it's true I wish you would be there for me. But the point is I don't need you. I'll be well on my own...
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Why can they forget me so easily.
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Some words of mine to those of you who aren't doing so well.
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Maybe I would feel better if no one remembers I ever did exist.
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Why can something so scary feel so safe too?
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"Let's be honest. We are better of as friends." We both know it, I think.
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If I disappeared of the grid there wouldn't be more than 10 people that care.
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Sometimes people hurt you a lot by trying to help you. Today's example: "you are wasting your childhood. Getting on your phone living in this imaginary world. It's so not worth it."
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It's you who has to to it. Because no one will tell you to. If you want to succeed you need to put in the work.
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Sorry I called so late. I just really need your help
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My reasons to make it to the next sunrise.
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Today I saw a person from my past again. Here is what went on in my head afterwards.
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I'm sorry if I push you away. I'm just trying to do what's best for you
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I thought we could become more but I guess you just don't care.
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Some of the things I learned living without. So if I act like I don't need you. I probably don't.
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Why do I always end up feeling like this type of friend?
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Sometimes all we have are 5 seconds that can change the rest of our lives.
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a text of who I sometimes wish to be.
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A little thak you for a special someone, who saved my life without even knowing it.
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"I'm fine enough.
'cause I'm used to being alone anyways."
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Why did I tell you this?
Why do I wait for you to leave me?
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I hope you know how Sorry I am for being me.
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I'm sorry it has been so long.
Here is another text about me and why I am the way I am.
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"it's just a phase" we have all heared that.
However what if I'm the phase.
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can you see her?
Do you know if what you see really is her?
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In case anything happens. I will always be here.
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welcome to society. Please be yourself and follow our rules
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A simple three letter words that make you think about millions...
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Why some memories should stay lost.
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Another little text for that guy. Although he will never hear it.
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I promise I'm here and that I won't lie to you. Even is the lie would be the better option.
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A text about my thoughts when texting with someone I really like.
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A text about how I handle my feelings and what I do when I have a crush. Please don't take me as a example.
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Why I stopped using the term best friend.
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A text about my one of my biggest dreams, which probably won't come true until after I died.
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"behind every favorite song is an untold story..."
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Why it is good to be angry. Be angry with me if you feel like me.
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A text about the same guy from yesterdays.
And why he is the reason my life suddenly feels so much more sad.
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Something about really been seen by others and yourself hidden in a little short story.
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I am not afraid of the monsters in my life anymore. And here is why you shouldn't be too.
What should we all be afraid of instead?
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Let me tell you what I think happiness really is about.
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let me tell you a bit about my favorite kind of love.
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A text I onc wrote to cheer myself back up whenever no one was there to do it for me.
Maybe it can help you too.
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another 3 am thought:
"maybe it is my fault that i am lonely again"
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Do you still remember why you do what you love, or should I remember you.
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"if it isn't a big deal why do you care so much?". Let me tell you why.
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in this text I'm describing a person maybe you know someone who is like "me". And if, please take care of them for me
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"I'm done being the quiet and well behaved one.... So why not create a story we want to tell."
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"sad was the day I didn't need an imaginary enough anymore" I became simply good at lying.
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"Sometimes I feel like an alien on this Earth"
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"why can't you just be like everybody else?"
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"I used to be scared of disappointing the people around me" well, not anymore.
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Depression ist not an emotion and it isn't a Synonyme for sadness. It is so much more
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It is when you don't want to kill yourself but that doesn't mean you don't want to die.
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There are a few things I am doing. Here is one of them.
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Inspired by the song lyrics to stay by Blackpink
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She was the quiet one. He was the loud one. However their stories are way more connected then it might seems.
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A text on why I like kinda bruises. Maybe you do to
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"what if I don't really want to get better again?"
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A little massage to one of the most important people that was in my life but sadly isn't in it anymore.
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A short story themed text on how a "she did it" can change after time and some things that happened.
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This is an example of what goes on in my head when you tell me someone has or had a crush on me.
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You know those bad days when you just want someone to hold you close so the pain can go away. Here is why I can't have that.
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Overtime I became good at hiding away. I needed to became good at it.
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"what of it turns out better than you could ever imagine?"
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"I am not the sameperson I was 365 days ago.
I know I changed"
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"this goes out to those of you that are healing from things you never talk about... I am proud of you."
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"what if the thing that scares me the most are the demons in my own head?"
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A text on why I don't feel like celebrate my birthday this year.
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We get told to choose when we are not able too. One day we will have to pay for it
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A text for my best friend. This is the kind of love you deserve. Don't settle for anything less.
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A few of the thinks I am not used to.
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Why "I am used to it" is sadder then "it doesn't matter."
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I am used to it. What that means and why it is one of the most hurtful things I ever said.
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A bit more information on why I believe "pretty is an insult"
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"what if I don't have a story worth talking about?"
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It is always one day but what if we twist those words around and start fighting for a better future.
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I was a little girl wating for my prince to come and save me. He never came. Here is a text in the lesson it thought me.
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Here are 10, not so normal lessons my childhood had thought me
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This text is based on the prompt. "What would you tell the most important person in your life if they told you right now they want to kill themselves."
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"You're just a little girl so you can't know that" but you should be able to this. Or do they just not want me to be a grown-up
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"why can nobody hear me" inspired by the imagine dragons lyric of the song hear me.
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A text on the reason why she maybe loves a band more then her own friends.
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A text on why I am so protective over certain people and their work. Even if they don't know I exist
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Based on the quote "every girl is a doll..."
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"I am human" and here is what that means.
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"one day she just woke up different" and started turning her life around.
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I usually have problems getting out of bed in the morning. So here is a text on something that helps me.
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A little text I wrote to my grandma a while back. I thought I might share it here. Maybe she can here me that way.
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"Today I covered the only mirror I own" and here is a text why I sometimes do those things.
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I usually only give promises when I know I can keep them. However this time I have to break one. The sad part is: it is one I gave to myself as a child. Here is why I have to break it and what it was.
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"let me tell you about why I do these episodes everyday."
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Don't test me. I am not a crying little bitch. My mind is more powerful then you think.
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"somewhere behind the person I have become is a little girl who gave her life to create me."
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"what goes on in my head when someone tells me to shut up about a certain topic"
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The reason I hate the number 3 because that is what I have always been.
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"someone once asked me why I love Basketball so much..."
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"one day I will die. And I won't be there to see my funeral, but there are some things I am pretty sure of."
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Today's text prompt is : " do you feel in control of your own thoughts? Why or why not?"
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Technically it is a text to the question "how can you create the energy you want in life" but it kinda turned into an interpretation of "fake it till you make it"
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A text on how I imagine the perfect relationship.
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The question of today's text is "when do you feel most loved"
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This texts question is: " what makes you cultivate or experience more joy in life"
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This texts prompt was :
"what does a simple life look like to you"
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Just a little lovestory prompt I wrote today.
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Today's journal prompt is: "when do you feel most at peace.
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A text about 3 powerful words I think everybody should live by.
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Based on the songlyric:
"When you said it was wrong
even if there is a right
Now I can only dream about you holding me tight"
by stray kids
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Not all of us grew up with role models around us, some had the opposite but that doesn't mean we have to become like them.
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A text on how I deside what the correct option is for me.
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my thoughts and my answer to the question:
"What advice does future you have?"
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A text about thoughts to the question: "who are you 5 years from now?"
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Let's set some goals together.
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Let me introduce you to song people. Do you have a song person i your life or do you maybe even feel sometimes like one.
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a text based on the quote "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" and why I hate it.
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Don't listen to others when they try to play down your accomplishments. You can be proud of yourself even if all you did was staying alive.
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Just because I believe that one day it will all work out doesn't mean that I won't put in the work.
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I think our minds can be described as icebergs. And here is why.
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A text on one of my reason why I can say that I fall for personalitys more then looks.
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"I hope that sometimes you just have one of those good days."
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Here are a few of the reasons why I am the way I am.
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"hope dies last...
but it dies"
this text is based on that quote
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"Maybe we aren't supposed to find back to something.
Maybe it is all about finding something new."
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this is an older text from a time when i was mentaly in a worse place then I am now.
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Let me tell you about the biggest emotional pain someone can feel in my opinion.
If you ever felt like this, i am sorry.
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I may not be able to controle what is happening around me but I can always controle the way I react.
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a text about one of many moments when I should have realised it got bad.
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A text about the kind of girl I am or am not.
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based on the quote
"I know you're tired,
I know you're emotionally and physically drained
But you have to keep going"
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I heared someone say: Wow he is so mature for his age.
But is he really? or is he what society makes us believe being mature comes from.
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"no matter what your dream might be never give up on it."
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We are forgotten ones. The ones you love but don't know about.
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The only advice I follow when it comes to relationships. Maybe you should follow it too.
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"i drew an imaginary line around me to keep people at a distence. So I couldn't hurt anyone anymore."
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A letter to the tree of my life or at least the person that comesclosest to it.
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"It feels good to be able to talk openly about something but why is it so hard?"...
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A text on my reason to stay motivated every day and do things such as this podcast as consistendly as i am doing it.
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Let me take your mind to a special place.
Let me show you the book of your life in the library of life.
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Dear List,
you don't know I exsist but I know you do.
Thank you for beeing my favorite uncomplete wish.
Monty
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Dear Pillow,
I know you have no idea that or why I call you so.
Here is the reason you are my human pillow
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A lot of people use colours to describe what a person means to them in their life. I use specific things.
I like to introduce you to someone.
Ballon
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Today I learned something really shocking.
It isn't normal for people to creat diffrent realities in their head?
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There are a few questions I hate answering. One of them this "what are you most afraid of?"
So here is the answer.
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If you relate to this text, or know what i mean with it, my inbox is always open if you want someone to talk to.
All my social medias have the same name as this Podcast.
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A little thank you to all the actors and people on social media that keep me mentally sane these days.
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"they once painted my pages with hopes and dreams....
And now I have to watch myself detache from them"
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"Why am I supposed to have a plan for the rest of my life?"
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dreams are good. But shattered dreams can make you stronger.
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Today i can prodly say it. Here is one of the manny reasons why.
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Just because they are not allowed to be together doesn't mean they aren't.
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"what if..."
those questions that keep me up at night
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based on the quote: "you only truly value something when you have lost it."
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what it feels like to be fan of at least one special person.
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One of the reasons someone could say no, to a date.
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at first I was afraid of going to sleep because of the nightmares but times change, and dreams come true.
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people are going to judge you no matter what you do. So why do you care?
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A home doesn't have to be a place. It is a feeling.
But what if you can find all of this in a person?
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The second part of the story: table.
It takes place a few days later.
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A little shortstory about a lifelong promis
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Are you proud of yourself right now, as you should be?
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a poem written by me
p.s, advice from a friend of mine:
listen to this episode in 1.5x the speed.
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"people say they don't dress to impress.
But I do...
I dress to impress one specific person"
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based on the quote : "the saddest part about life is when the people who gave you the best memories become a memorie"
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I guess you were just scared of me.
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Told from their teenage child around 20 years later. Let's see if they get their happy end...
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Their love story did just begin...
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"when I look in the mirror I don't see a young woman. I see a little girl...."
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"you noticed his change but did you notice why?"
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"my mom warned me about the drugs in the street but never about the ones with hazel eyes and a heart beat"
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Based on the advice Steven Spielberg once gave in an speech.
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"not everybody's trust issues come from failed relationships." so called friends can do just as much damage.
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"I will listen to anything you want to tell me" and this text shows why
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"what if our minds can't tell the difference between real people and fictional characters"
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"you were my musik ... now you only remind me of that one song" (the writting prompt I used for today's text)
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Success isn't about money or fame but about what you do in life.
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based on one of my favorite motivational quotes: "be carful the devil once was an angel to"
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Is there even a difference between happy and distracted?
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based on the quote: "there will be happiness after you, but there was happiness because of you"
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A little bit more information about me. Or more speciffic about what type of frind I think I am.
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how a simple " I am used to it" can change over time
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Another reason why I'm not normal.
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Not every home and family has to be real.
Let's talk about fictional familys.
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What a simple lovestory can mean to a person specifficly enemies to lovers romance.
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My opinion on the topic of love. If you know me, you will know that I truly believe in every single word I say in this.
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"her story is over" until she rewrites her ending.
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Based on the quote "when one door closes the next one opens."
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"if the plan doesn't work out change the plan but never the goal" is what this text was inspiered by.
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We have the strengh and the power to do what we want in live, I think.
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Don't think about it. Just do it.
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A little motivational speach.
It might be a bit Julie and the Phantoms themed.
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A little massage to some people from my past because I am finally reday to move on.
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This is about the dream a good movie / TV show can give you.
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Or more specificly the reason I write and started it in the first place.
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Just because it doesn't make sense to you, doesn't mean it isn't important to me.
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"Maybe forever isn't meant for people but for memories"
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"People say I'm strange" but what does it really mean.
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The way a platonic "miss you" can change during time.
A short story written by Monty
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What if an actress never stops doing her job? A short text written by Monty
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