Your Real, Your Ideal: Recent Episodes
Sandy Lane and Amy Tokos
Two women taking on life’s questions as posed by their listeners. Through their unique journeys in weathering life to date, Amy and Sandy, tackle the probing questions and issues by first recognizing the real in life’s situations to get to the desired ideal. Practical. Honest. Fun. Curious. Helping women create the ideal they want most in our shared journey of life.
Ever made a choice you regretted? You're not alone! Sandy and Amy have been there too. In this episode, we're sharing our biggest blunders and the valuable lessons we've learned. Discover how aligning your choices with your values can help you avoid future regrets. It's a funny, honest, and insightful conversation about the risks, rewards, and consequences of our decisions.
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Have you ever felt like your gender has held you back from achieving your full potential? Join us as we dive into the real and pervasive issue of the gender confidence gap. We bring data-driven insights to shed light on this phenomenon and explore its impact on both men and women.
Don't miss this under 20 minute thought-provoking conversation as we explore ways to bridge the gender confidence gap and empower individuals to reach their full potential.
#podcast #consultants #productivity #values #happinessfactor #worklifebalance #thrive #confidence
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In a recent survey, 44% of people shared that they are burnt out. In this under 20 convo, we talk about how to recognize burnout, causes of burnout, strategies to minimize burnout. It’s a quick fun convo that will get you thinking.
Always keeping it real.
Thanks for listening to Your Real, Your Ideal. Enjoy the conversation.
#podcast #consultants #productivity #values #happinessfactor #worklifebalance #thrive
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We are wrapping up season 5 by looking forward before we take our summer break. When we look forward to something, it builds anticipation and gives us hope. At this moment, Sandy and Amy are looking forward to summer and all the things that come along with it. There’s a little planning and a bit of flexibility needed to enjoy the season. Bring it on!
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#podcast #habits #consultants #productivity #values #happinessfactor #REAL #summer #planning
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We do not have to accept discomforts and lower energy just because we’re aging. Sandy and Amy share their experiences and why it’s important to be your own advocate when it comes to your health.
Why Women aren't Small Men
#podcast #habits #consultants #productivity #values #happinessfactor #REAL #health #menopause #women
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The kids are all doing it, how about us? Taking an adult gap year or sabbatical can give you an opportunity to pause and rethink your path forward. It might take a little planning but the consensus is that it is worth it.
#podcast #habits #consultants #productivity #values #happinessfactor #REAL
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What is a microaggression you ask? This episode we dig into that and share some examples. We hope to create an awareness to help all of us to do better. Knowing impact is more important than our intention.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nQ9l7y4UuxY
https://www.aihr.com/blog/microaffirmation/
https://www.nytimes.com/2024/03/29/magazine/homophobia-barbershop-speaking-out-ethics.html?algo=combo_clicks_decay_6_lda_unique_80_diversified█=3&campaign_id=142&emc=edit_fory_20240330&fellback=false&imp_id=1798152835695485&instance_id=118947&nl=for-you&nlid=224366909&pool=channel-replacement-ls&rank=8®i_id=224366909&req_id=2712027093570758&segment_id=162210&surface=for-you-email-channelless&user_id=1ca6c967306509deffe37db8581b2359&variant=0_channel_translated_pool_popularity_pers
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#podcast #habits #consultants #productivity #values #happinessfactor #REAL #microaggressions #microaffirmations
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Is privacy a privilege? Are we entitled to share things about other people? Sandy and Amy discuss privacy, secrets, and what is driving our need for privacy. Plus respecting other people's desires to be private or not.
Books mentioned:
The Yellow House by Sarah M. Bloom
Apples Never Fall by Liane Moriarty
https://www.vogue.com/article/kates-heartfelt-plea-for-privacy-should-force-us-to-confront-an-uncomfortable-truth
https://www.loveatfirstfight.com/relationship-advice/privacy-secrecy/#:~:text=Because%20where%20privacy%20is%20about,two%20feelings%20%E2%80%93%20shame%20and%20fear.
#podcast #habits #consultants #productivity #values #happinessfactor #REAL #privacy
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Words matter and stir emotion. Sometimes it’s the word and sometimes it’s the intention. This episode we discuss the words that are stirring our emotions plus the times we’ve had to bit our tongue.
Here is the news story about our family photos.
https://www.wfmynews2.com/video/news/local/83-f605cd0c-9f74-4550-8b59-0824646d1d24
Other great articles:
https://buildingbrainconnections.com/positive-words-challenging-behaviour/
https://genwomen.global/how-to-turn-negative-language-into-positive-with-ease/
#podcast #habits #consultants #productivity #values #happinessfactor #REAL
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https://www.nytimes.com/2024/02/03/books/american-fiction-book-erasure-percival-everett.html
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Movies can be an escape from reality and sometimes they are reality. Sandy and Amy have been watching the Oscar nominees. They’ve been entertained and even had some perspective shifts. It’s a fun conversation but be warned, there are some spoilers.
#podcast #habits #consultants #productivity #values #happinessfactor #REAL
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You can try new things at any age. Sandy and Amy explore what they’ve tried since they turned 50 and why they hadn't done it before. Interesting thing is that their lists are completely different.
#podcast #habits #consultants #productivity #values #happinessfactor #REAL #50andfabulous #firsts
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Oh yes, you know who and what your energy vampires are. Sandy and Amy share some of the people and things that drain their energy. Plus the strategies which range from candy to conversations that can help.
https://www.verywellmind.com/energy-vampires-characteristics-types-and-coping-strategies-7373913
#podcast #habits #consultants #productivity #values #happinessfactor #REAL
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We have Kristi Reimers as a guest for this episode. She is sharing her insights and knowledge about food insecurity which is more recently known as nutrition insecurity. The gap between food and access can be pretty big for some people. The good news is that there are some things we can do to help.
#podcast #habits #consultants #productivity #values #happinessfactor #REAL #guest #foodinsecurity #nutrition
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If you’ve hit midlife, does it feel like a crisis or are you able to celebrate this phase of life? Sandy and Amy discuss what we can be celebrating as we age.
“Aging is an extraordinary process where you become the person you always should have been.”
David Bowie
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/70th-birthday-experiences-celebrate-friends_n_65bae392e4b0102bd2d7bd79
https://fortune.com/well/2023/09/10/menopause-parties-gen-x/
https://www.whatshesaidtalk.com/living-agelessly-making-midlife-a-celebration-not-a-crisis/
#podcast #habits #consultants #productivity #values #happinessfactor #REAL
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Are you good at giving advice? Do you also take your own advice? Many of us can give, but sometimes we don’t apply it to ourselves - that is Solomon’s Paradox. Sandy and Amy talk about giving advice, our advice experiences, and when we don’t take our own advice.
https://www.forbes.com/sites/datafreaks/2015/04/07/why-we-give-great-advice-to-others-but-cant-take-it-ourselves/?sh=60ef3f141515
https://www.fastcompany.com/90451784/3-reasons-why-people-dont-take-your-advice
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#podcast #habits #consultants #productivity #values #happinessfactor #REAL
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“Work/life balance” is more about the action of balancing and having good boundaries. This episode Sandy and Amy share their times of struggles with balance and how they made it through.
https://www.zippia.com/advice/work-life-balance-statistics/#:~:text=77%25%20of%20employees%20have%20experienced,re%20considering%20a%20new%20job.
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#podcast #habits #consultants #productivity #values #happinessfactor #REAL #worklifebalance #worklifeintegration
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We all want a good night’s sleep, but sometimes there are things…you know, all the things (projects, problems, etc.) that keep us awake. Sandy and Amy share the literal and the philosophical things that are keeping them awake.
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podcast #habits #consultants #productivity #values #happinessfactor #REAL #sleep
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What are you afraid of? We all have the things that scare us. Fear is one of the things that limits women in their professional and personal pursuits. Is fear holding you back? Sandy and Amy discuss common fears, when it’s affected them and how they overcame or avoided the discomfort.
https://womenignitingchange.com/13-fears-that-keep-women-from-being-remarkable/
https://www.forbes.com/sites/carolinecastrillon/2021/08/22/top-10-reasons-you-have-a-fear-of-success/?sh=77ad1dd81c15
https://www.usnews.com/news/politics/articles/2024-01-11/st-paul-makes-history-with-all-female-city-council-a-rarity-among-large-u-s-cities
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#podcast #habits #consultants #productivity #values #happinessfactor #REAL #fear
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We are kicking off the new year with new views and new perspectives. Sandy and Amy share how a perspective shift can make doing big things a little easier. Not sweating the small stuff and not creating drama is key for us.
Plus we talk a little about Blue Monday. Read about it here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blue_Monday_(date)
#podcast #habits #consultants #productivity #values #happinessfactor #REAL #newyear
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We often hear that we need to be humble. Sandy and Amy talk through the pros and cons of humility plus the perceptions of people who are humble versus arrogant. There is definitely an art to being humble.
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#podcast #habits #consultants #productivity #values #happinessfactor #REAL #humble #arrogant
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This episode we have a guest, Bev Young from HCA Healthcare. She is sharing all about DEI in healthcare and the efforts to make it more accessible. It’s interesting and inspiring. When you listen, you will hear Bev’s passion which we love! Enjoy the podcast.
https://www.sandyalane.com/writing/wonder-twins
#podcast #habits #consultants #productivity #values #happinessfactor #REAL #speacialguest #DEI
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How do you feel about aging? Sandy and Amy discuss how the definition of aging gracefully has changed as we have aged. We are measuring it differently than we did 20 years ago. We also share some strategies that will make aging easier. Added bonus: In the conversation, we find out how Sandy got banned from tiktok. It’s a good story.
https://ideas.ted.com/aging-is-inevitable-so-why-not-do-it-joyfully-heres-how/
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#podcast #habits #consultants #productivity #values #happinessfactor #REAL #age #graceful
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Tis the season for family traditions. You know the ones we love and the others that feel like a burden. This episode Sandy and Amy share some of their family traditions, how they evolved, which ones stuck and which ones did not. It’s a perfect conversation for the season.
https://www.webmd.com/balance/why-family-traditions-matter
https://community.today.com/parentingteam/post/creating-family-traditions-is-a-bad-idea
#podcast #habits #consultants #productivity #values #happinessfactor #REAL#holidays #traditions
SAL article link: https://medium.com/age-of-empathy/why-non-traditional-thanksgivings-can-be-the-best-thanksgivings-18ab7ad5367
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AI is here. There are some good ways to use it and our guest, Heather Noggle shares some cautions. She also gives us some great advice on how we can protect ourselves, #1 multi factor authentication. Helping us find a balance between fear and vigilance when it comes to cybersecurity.
https://codistac.com/
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What just happened? Sometimes that is how we feel when we see someone stepping out of the box and being their authentic and real selves. This episode we are celebrating that courageous authenticity which can challenge our beliefs and who we think we are. It can feel good and also a bit uncomfortable.
https://www.forbes.com/sites/kathycaprino/2016/07/24/7-powerful-traits-of-people-who-inspire-others-to-become-their-best/?sh=785725295b4c
https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/in-depth/friendships/art-20044860
SAL Barbie Story: https://www.sandyalane.com/writing/my-barbie-world
Barbie rant video https://www.google.com/search?q=barbie+rant+scene&oq=barbie+rant&gs_lcrp=EgZjaHJvbWUqBwgBEAAYgAQyBggAEEUYOTIHCAEQABiABDIHCAIQABiABDIMCAMQABgKGLEDGIAEMgcIBBAAGIAEMgcIBRAAGIAEMgcIBhAAGIAEMgcIBxAAGIAEMgcICBAAGIAEMgcICRAAGIAE0gEINzczMmowajeoAgCwAgA&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8#fpstate=ive&vld=cid:167d0ed5,vid:q9wKARQ8_pg,st:0
#podcast #habits #consultants #productivity #values #happinessfactor #REAL #Barbie
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They’re talking about books, both banned and unbanned. Sandy and Amy are big readers. They share their latest reading, a podcast on books, and discuss the banned book lists. It’s a good conversation.
https://www.wgbh.org/news/local/2020-01-06/inside-the-e-book-war-waging-between-libraries-and-publishers
#podcast #habits #consultants #productivity #values #happinessfactor #REAL #books
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If we had a million dollars and didn’t need to save it - what would you spend it on? We asked this question to our listeners. We learned the answer, many times, reflects our values. It’s an interesting thing to ponder.
#podcast #habits #consultants #productivity #values #happinessfactor #REAL#money #milliondollars
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Sometimes our confidence on a topic is greater than our competence. This episode Sandy and Amy share when we’ve been armchair quarterbacks.This conversation takes us down the road of growth mindset, and the “Think Again” book by Adam Grant. The more we know, the more we realize how much we don’t know.
#podcast #habits #consultants #productivity #values #happinessfactor #REAL
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CbqqIYTHuwM
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/scientific-mindset-adam-grant-albert-einstein-dental-webster
https://www.inc.com/jessica-stillman/there-are-4-modes-of-thinking-preacher-prosecutor-politician-scientist-you-should-use-1-much-more.html
https://fourminutebooks.com/think-again-summary/#:~:text=1%2DSentence%2DSummary%3A%20Think,persuasiveness%2C%20and%20self%2Dawareness
SAL Blog story link: https://www.sandyalane.com/writing/football-101
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When we put ourselves out there to do something new or different, it can be scary. This episode, Sandy and Amy talk about change, benefits of change and how we’ve embraced it…or not.
https://www.amazon.com/Strength-Finding-Success-Happiness-Purpose/dp/059319148X
https://www.lifehack.org/902478/try-new-things
https://www.simplilearn.com/7-r-of-change-management-article
https://businessproductivity.com/how-to-effectively-manage-personal-change/
https://bethechangeasph.com/the-human-side-of-change/why-do-we-resist-change/#:~:text=Resistance%20to%20change%20is%20actually,change%20might%20have%20on%20us.
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We can all agree that people evolve and change. Yet, we also recognize that people are very much the same as they have always been. This episode, Sandy and Amy discuss how we change, how we might want to change and what will really never change.
https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2022/10/10/are-you-the-same-person-you-used-to-be-life-is-hard-the-origins-of-you?utm_source=threads&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=tny&utm_social-type=owned
https://www.livescience.com/personality-age-change.html
https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2023/07/old-age-personality-brain-changes-psychology/674668/
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A.I. is here and this week we share how we’ve been playing with it. What we’re seeing, what we’re hearing, possible opportunities plus some cautions. It’s interesting and will be a game changer. How do you plan to harness the power of A.I.?
https://www.cnn.com/2023/09/20/europe/spain-deepfake-images-investigation-scli-intl/index.html
https://www.sas.com/en_us/insights/analytics/what-is-artificial-intelligence.html
https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-news/madison-square-garden-face-scan-1234650989/
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We’re back! In this episode, we’re doing our catch up from the summer and kicking off season 5. Sandy and Amy both spent time with important people this summer while they did some stuff and learned some stuff.
#podcast #habits #consultants #productivity #values #happinessfactor #REAL #keynotespeakers #worklifebalance
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Sandy and Amy are signing off for the summer. In this episode they discuss the things that are just different for summer and how we all have to adjust. Summer goes fast and with intentionality we can make the most of it.
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podcast #habits #consultants #productivity #values #happinessfactor #REAL #summer #intentionality #transitions #summerbreak
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People remember the value you bring when you are your authentic self. In this podcast, Sandy and Amy dig into values and how incorporating them into your day can help bring happiness.
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Inspiration helps us move forward to a better place or mindset. But moving forward typically requires taking the first step and then the second. It needs a process. In this podcast, Sandy and Amy share inspirations and how they discovered the need for the process.
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This episode Sandy and Amy discuss multitasking, why it’s impossible and some of the other things that distract us. Amy also shares a quick test you can do to see if you’re an efficient multi-tasker.
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What most people refer to as "mean girl behavior" is really relational aggression. Sandy and Amy discuss this type of bullying, recognize that it’s not just the girls and share strategies to protect yourself.
https://www.verywellfamily.com/how-to-confront-adult-mean-girls-460676
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When should we play defense? Is it ever necessary? We all have moments when we react defensively. Sandy and Amy share some situations that triggered them and brainstorm better responses. Always keeping it real.
podcast #habits #consultants #productivity #values #happinessfactor #REAL #feedback #defensiveness
https://www.healthyloveandmoney.com/blog/what-is-defensiveness-and-how-it-becomes-a-vicious-cycle#:~:text=Defensiveness%20is%20most%20often%20a,does%20not%20care%20for%20them.
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Meeting new people can be fun. Sometimes we make a good connection, sometimes we think maybe not and then there’s the times we get ghosted. In this podcast, Sandy and Amy share their networking stories, some good and some not so good.
https://www.scienceofpeople.com/networking/
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Can someone teach you confidence? If we are lifting each other up and empowering others, are we teaching them to be confident? Sandy and Amy discuss just that this week. We start with one thought…you’ll have to listen in to see where we end up.
https://blog.ted.com/10-examples-of-how-power-posing-can-work-to-boost-your-confidence/
https://www.forbes.com/sites/francesbridges/2017/07/21/10-ways-to-build-confidence/?sh=1dfb926a3c59
https://www.inc.com/minda-zetlin/13-easy-ways-to-boost-your-confidence.html
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When you look around, are most of the people around you like you? There are many benefits to surrounding ourselves with people who have different faiths, different pronouns, different ethnicity...you know, diversity. This podcast Sandy and Amy discuss times when we’ve felt uncomfortable with diversity in our own surroundings. We share how we handle it and how we learn.
https://www.npr.org/2020/06/06/870910728/your-bookshelf-may-be-part-of-the-problem
https://news.bloomberglaw.com/us-law-week/change-the-conversation-about-wokeness-othering-and-belonging
https://hopeandsafety.org/learn-more/violent-language/
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Too often we live in a tight box of expectations that we have created and rarely does life give you that exact path. The things that exceed our expectations are the things that make our highlight reel. Knowing that expectations are unavoidable, in this episode Sandy and Amy discuss how we keep our expectations, good and bad, in check. A few hints…adaptability and flexibility are key.
Lesson learned from our travels: It is better to be adaptable than expectant.
https://www.vibrantmentalhealth.com/aricles/71978-how-to-balance-your-expectations
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/aspirations-vs-expectations-sangita-sarkar
https://www.psychreg.org/expectation-aspiration/
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Sandy and Amy have been doing some traveling. In this episode, we share why we like to travel, how keeping it simple gives us the same joy as the elaborate vacations plus some favorites. Many times, we realized, it’s the people we’re with not the location that makes the magic.
https://www.cntraveler.com/story/travel-addiction-is-real#:~:text=The%20definition%20states%3A%20%E2%80%9Csufferers%20have,Brein%20says.
https://www.nbcnews.com/better/lifestyle/why-it-s-so-hard-come-back-vacation-how-do-ncna1115341
https://drifttravel.com/7-benefits-of-traveling/
https://www.cnn.com/travel/article/tripadvisor-travelers-choice-awards-2022/index.html#:~:text=Top%2010%20most%20popular%20destinations%20the%20United%20States&text=Meanwhile%2C%20the%20Island%20of%20Hawaii,the%20United%20States%20for%202022.
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You want to hear a juicy story? If you said yes, you might want to listen to this podcast. If you said no, you might also want to listen. Sandy and Amy are talking about gossip. The good, the bad and the ugly.
https://positivepsychology.com/positive-gossip/#:~:text=Positive%20gossip%20includes%20prosocial%20behaviors,the%20time%2C%20it%20is%20neutral.
https://www.oprahdaily.com/entertainment/a41446635/beneifts-of-gossip-social-bonding/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=arb_ga_opr_md_pmx_us_urlx_18700515769&gclid=CjwKCAiA0cyfBhBREiwAAtStHNQvpJ0rXhYmAcOW38uXs0RHNOs809DxcehyCpayB0tMXihPI4lg5BoCzkkQAvD_BwE
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Is drama in your life because of your circumstances or because of your choices. Sandy and Amy dig into this topic in this episode. What we determine is that drama gets a bad rap. Sometimes it’s bad, but there can also be a good side to it.
https://www.donolund.com/good-drama
https://kevineikenberry.com/communication-interpersonal-skills/10-tactics-to-manage-workplace-drama/
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When we know we’ve messed up our knee jerk reaction is to apologize with hopes of forgiveness. That’s the easy way out. Sandy and Amy discuss the steps that need to happen before the apology and understanding that forgiveness may never happen and that’s ok.
Rabbi Danya Ruttenberg: On Repentance and Repair: Making Amends in an Unapologetic World.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/heart-and-soul-healing/201301/9-steps-forgiveness
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We all see the before and after. What is in the middle is usually pretty messy. Sandy and Amy share a few stories about overcoming adversity, perseverance and how to get through that messy middle.
#podcast #habits #consultants #productivity #values #happinessfactor #REAL #time #yourrealyourideal #lifechanges #messymiddle
https://www.complex.com/sports/2014/12/10-nfl-players-who-overcame-adversity-off-the-field-and-shined-on-it
https://fourminutebooks.com/the-messy-middle-summary/
https://www.amazon.com/If-You-Tell-Unbreakable-Sisterhood-ebook/dp/B07Q5TL9SQ
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Do you have a plan B? Some of us always have a back up plan which can be good. There is a flip side where a Plan B can sabotage your Plan A. This podcast Sandy and Amy share stories about when Plan B’s were good and when they held us back.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/lifetime-connections/201607/does-having-plan-b-sabotage-your-plan
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In the book “The Measure”, this one morning everyone over the age of 22 receives a box with a string that tells you the length of your life. Sandy and Amy discuss this idea. Would you open the box? If you did, what would you do with the information?
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All we need for true happiness is enough. Enough sun to keep your attitude bright, enough rain to appreciate the sun more and so on as the poem goes. Sandy and Amy explore this concept of enough and what makes us feel like we need more.
"I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive.
I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye."
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https://nosidebar.com/when-do-we-have-enough/
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We all take things for granted. Sandy and Amy share how they’ve taken things for granted in the past. They also discuss how to find the balance between optimism that all will be good and the reality that things might go away and be missed. Sometimes it’s hard to know we appreciate something til it’s gone.
#podcast #habits #consultants #productivity #values #happinessfactor #REAL #time #yourrealyourideal #lifechanges #gratitude #appreciation
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At any age,we have choices. Sometimes when we hit a certain age, we feel it’s easier to settle in and ride it out. In this episode, Sandy and Amy share their career changes, some of the feedback and some of the support they got plus some insights on making a change.
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This is a fun episode. It’s the holiday time, so Sandy and Amy are sharing some of their favorite things. We’re not Oprah but we still share gift items and self care favorites. We both walked away with some good gift ideas.
#podcast #habits #consultants #productivity #values #happinessfactor #REAL #time #yourrealyourideal #holidays #hometown
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Moving can be stressful but also an adventure If we’re moving to something we’re excited about. This week Sandy and Amy share the hard and the fun parts of moving.
https://nypost.com/2020/09/30/some-people-claim-this-is-more-stressful-than-marriage-divorce-and-even-having-kids/
https://www.masmedicalstaffing.com/blog/best-ways-to-meet-new-friends-in-a-new-city/
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This week we’re talking about how you can never go home, or can you? Home changes, you change and when you go back “home” it feels different. This week Sandy and Amy share how to keep your expectations in check. You can go home to celebrate the memories and celebrate the present.
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As we hit midlife, we have noticed as women, we aren’t as noticed as we were when we were younger. This podcast Sandy and Amy discuss aging as females. We want to celebrate what age gives us - confidence, authenticity, deep relationships plus so much more.
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In gratitude, we recognize that the source of goodness is outside of ourselves. Sandy and Amy attended a Gratitude Summit recently. In this episode they share insights and inspiration to incorporate gratitude into daily life. They’re keeping it real while striving for the ideal.
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Raise your hand if you’ve ever screwed up. Yes, us too. This episode, Sandy and Amy discuss how to apologize and what happens when we don’t take accountability for our mess ups, either through ignoring them, doubling down or apologizing with justification of why we did what we did.
#podcast #habits #consultants #productivity #values #happinessfactor #REAL #time #yourrealyourideal #bereal #accountability #apologize
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If being nice is being agreeable, then being your authentic self is sometimes not nice. In this podcast, Sandy and Amy discuss how to be your authentic self and we distinguish the difference between being nice and being kind. We always ask what’s the real, and what’s the ideal.
#podcast #habits #consultants #productivity #values #happinessfactor #REAL #time #yourrealyourideal #bereal #bekind #beauthentic
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Have you ever felt stuck? You may be experiencing lifestyle fatigue. In this episode, Sandy and Amy share times when they’ve felt stuck and some strategies to get you out of the funk.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/when-kids-call-the-shots/202208/do-you-have-depression-or-lifestyle-fatigue
#podcast #habits #consultants #productivity #values #happinessfactor #REAL #time #yourrealyourideal #lifestylefatigue
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Pivots, big and small happen everyday. How can you make your pivots go smoother? With Amy in the middle of a big pivot, you know her, she’s done some research that she’ll share in this episode plus, since Sandy is a master in pivots, she shares her wisdom, insights and strategies.
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Amy is moving to a new city and making that decision was pretty huge. This episode Sandy and Amy talk through decision making advice and insights. They share their experiences and a few lessons learned. Always keeping it real.
A few things we shared:
If you want something different, you have to do something different.
Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.
Life is built on the dailies.
Where we are today is an accumulation of our choices.
It’s all good in the end. If it’s not good, it’s not the end.
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#podcast #habits #consultants #productivity #values #happinessfactor #REAL #time #decisions
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Stats can be perspective changing. For example, did you know that you form a first impression of someone within 6 seconds of meeting them? In this episode Sandy and Amy share some stats that they stumbled upon that were interesting, to say the least.
#podcast #habits #consultants #productivity #values #happinessfactor #REAL #time
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We have all heard that mental toughness can help you achieve great things. In this podcast Sandy and Amy discuss what Mental toughness is, the good of mental toughness and the bad, like how it can turn into shaming and judgment. The key is trying to achieve while giving yourself some grace to not be perfect.
https://warwickboar.shorthandstories.com/how-the-post-olympic-blues-affects-the-mental-health-of-top-athletes/index.html
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#podcast #habits #consultants #productivity #values #happinessfactor #REAL #time #mentaltoughness #shame
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Thanks for joining us for Season 4. It’s been a great summer break and now It’s Back to Podcast time. In this episode, Sandy and Amy discuss their summer break along with their hopes and dreams for Season 4 of the podcast. There are some big discussions that will be happening this season along with a few personal decisions that will get shared. Lots of good stuff in store.
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#podcast #habits #consultants #productivity #values #happinessfactor #REAL #time #summer #backtoschool
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We are still off for the summer but wanted to share an edited down version of one of our favorite conversations. We discuss that scene from the movie "When Harry Meet Sally" where Sally fakes an orgasm and the lady in the booth next to them tells the waiter "I'll have what she's having". We've all done it, we see someone happy and think whatever it is they have (cute clothes, a new spouse, a new house, a different job, etc.), that is the thing that will make us happy too. We explore this a bit more in this conversation.
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Oldie and goodie podcast here from when we discussed the Life Script Model in 2020. Life script is a concept that once you see it, you can’t unsee it. We edited down this conversation so it's a little shorter the 2nd time around but still perspective shifting. We hope you enjoy it!
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#podcast #habits #consultants #productivity #values #happinessfactor #REAL
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How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are? Hmm, things that we ponder. Sandy and Amy discuss this and more about why Time is a Stinker. Balancing that with the fact that it’s also a gift.
Hashtags:
#podcast #habits #consultants #productivity #values #happinessfactor #REAL #time
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/think-well/202011/why-time-goes-faster-we-age
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5b0Nn9jE5Hc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wwvkdqDoqdM
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This episode, Sandy and Amy go back in time to their first podcast in June of 2020 titled “Our New Normal”. We discuss that moment in time, how things have changed and stayed the same over the last 2 years. Reflection is always enlightening.
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#podcast #habits #consultants #productivity #values #happinessfactor #REAL
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Toxic positivity involves dismissing negative emotions and responding to distress with false reassurances rather than empathy. Sandy and Amy discuss how positivity is often well-intentioned but can cause alienation and a feeling of disconnection. We share what toxic positivity looks like, why it is harmful and how we can avoid being toxic with our positivity.
https://rightasrain.uwmedicine.org/mind/well-being/toxic-positivity#:~:text=Toxic%20positivity%20involves%20dismissing%20negative,and%20a%20feeling%20of%20disconnection.
https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/toxic-positivity/
https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-toxic-positivity-5093958
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#podcast #habits #consultants #productivity #values #happinessfactor #REAL #toxicpositivity #positivity
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What will our world be like in 2050? Sandy and Amy discuss the top 10 drivers of change (climate change, convergence, demographics, energy, food, oceans, poverty, urbanisation, waste, and water) and do a little looking back and some looking forward. It’s an exercise that helps you strategize for the possible future.
Foresight-
https://thefuturesschool.com/2021/07/foresight-the-most-important-leadership-skill-of-the-21st-century/
https://thesystemsthinker.com/the-art-of-foresight-preparing-for-a-changing-world/
https://www.wsj.com/articles/think-like-a-futurist-to-be-prepared-for-the-totally-unexpected-1483272006
https://knowledgeworks.org/resources/futures-thinking-now-drivers-change-futures-triangle/
http://www.markpearsall.com/drivers-of-change-app
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#podcast #habits #consultants #productivity #values #happinessfactor #REAL #foresight #driversofchange
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Inspiration is all about when you’re “mentally stimulated to manifest what you want to create” There are many ways to get inspired. Sandy and Amy discuss some of the recommendations and share what works for them.
Links:
https://psychcentral.com/health/how-to-find-inspiration-in-life#whats-inspiration
https://hbr.org/2011/11/why-inspiration-matters
#podcast #habits #consultants #productivity #values #happinessfactor #REAL #inspiration
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If you can identify your saboteurs and harnessing the power of your sages, you will be able to dramatically simplify personal and professional well being. Sandy and Amy explore this concept of positive intelligence in this podcast. It’s a new concept, at least to us, and a good conversation.
#podcast #habits #consultants #productivity #values #happinessfactor #REAL #positiveintelligence
Ted talk: Know your inner saboteurs: Shirzad Chamine at TEDxStanford
Long version: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ta5IkSsc8qk
https://www.positiveintelligence.com/
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You may know a little about body language but have you heard of Digital Body Language by Erica Duhwan? It’s a whole other type of language we are all learning. In this episode, Sandy and Amy start talking about digital body language where the key is really to be authentic while being mindful of your audience. But if you know us, you know we included other digital communication challenges like boundaries, biases, tone and so much more.
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#podcast #habits #consultants #productivity #values #happinessfactor #REAL #digital #bodylanguage
Book: https://www.amazon.com/Digital-Body-Language-Connection-Distance/dp/1250246520
Links: https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20210617-the-digital-body-language-cues-you-send-or-dont-send
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E2RJs0qdO7c
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1JqmSbwmtj0
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Confidence is the stuff that turns our thoughts into an action, women 25% more prone to perfectionism and have a greater fear of failure. We are also more likely to give created to our circumstances that our ability when we succeed. This week Sandy and Amy will be discussing these stats and how we build our confidence and help others with their confidence.
Links:
https://lifeclub.org/
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SPxQ6BdyL7g
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GlWob_dRSQI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YJyhZPoylcw
Hashtags: #podcast #habits #consultants #productivity #values #happinessfactor #REAL #confidence
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When you have a plan and get new information, if you take that new information and adjust, you’re being agile. With an agile mindset you’re always open to collaboration, new information and modifying your plan so you really get the results you want. How can you use agile in your daily life? Sandy and Amy share some examples and benefits of having an agile mindset.
https://kanbanize.com/agile
https://www.forbes.com/sites/stevedenning/2019/08/13/understanding-the-agile-mindset/?sh=38e54b985c17
https://www.xenonstack.com/blog/agile-thinking
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Becoming a great leader is a lifelong journey. It involves embracing and absorbing new skills and methodologies at every turn. One such methodology is the concept of servant leadership. This podcast, Sandy and Amy explore the servant leadership concept, discuss the pros and cons, and share their experiences.
#podcast #habits #consultants #productivity #values #happinessfactor #REAL #servantleadership
Articles:
https://www.betterup.com/blog/servant-leadership-what-makes-it-different
https://www.entrepreneur.com/article/340791
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Have you heard of the Buffett Formula? Basically, it’s spend most your day learning so you go to bed smarter than you wake up. Are you of a growth mindset and always trying to make yourself smarter? Sandy and Amy say yes, but wonder how they make sure they continue to harness that growth mindset.
Article links:
https://www.inc.com/marcel-schwantes/warren-buffett-says-anyone-can-achieve-success-if-they-follow-1-simple-rule-he-calls-the-buffett-formula.html
https://fs.blog/the-buffett-formula/#:~:text=%E2%80%9CThe%20best%20thing%20a%20human,They%20are%20also%20learning%20machines.
https://fourminutebooks.com/the-snowball-summary/
https://www.cfainstitute.org/en/research/financial-analysts-journal/2009/the-snowball-warren-buffett-and-the-business
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Your view of yourself can determine everything. If you believe that your qualities are unchangeable — the fixed mindset — you will want to prove yourself correct over and over rather than learning from your mistakes. Failure can be a painful experience. But if you have a growth mindset, you know that it doesn't define you. It’s a problem to be faced, dealt with, and learned from. In this episode Sandy and Amy share their experiences with the growth and fixed mindsets
Articles referenced
https://fs.blog/carol-dweck-mindset/
Hashtags:
#podcast #habits #consultants #productivity #values #happinessfactor #REAL #growthmindset
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If a habit isn't satisfying, then ditch it or figure out how to make it satisfying. One way to make habits satisfying is to align your habits with your personality. If you like fun, start a habit of trying something new like Sandy. Another way is to give yourself small rewards as you work towards a bigger goal like Amy.
Good habits are hard in the present but have future payoffs, bad habits are more rewarding in the present and have future consequences.
#podcast #habits #consultants #productivity #values #happinessfactor #REAL
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We all gravitate toward things that are easy to do, so this week we’re talking about making good habits easy. This episode Sandy and Amy talk about that and the obstacles to getting things done plus how we are trying to simplify our tasks. Along the way, we’re reminding ourselves that “the best is the enemy of the good” so let’s at least try for good.
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What makes you keep doing your habits? Some of the time it’s because they are attractive. In this episode Sandy and Amy talk about how to make desired habits attractive and discuss some mind games we play with ourselves. Sometimes they work, and sometimes they don’t.
#podcast #habits #consultants #productivity #values #happinessfactor #REAL
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Most likely, whether you meant to or not, you’ve set up your time and spaces to support your daily habits. If you’re wanting to make some changes, this conversation that Sandy and Amy have will help you with a process to identify habits and opportunities to make good habits obvious. They share what they’ve noticed in their own lives with a few laughs in the process. Always keeping it real.
#podcast #habits #consultants #productivity #values #happinessfactor #REAL
Blue Zones article:
https://www.today.com/health/aging/blue-zones-challenge-4-week-challenge-longer-life-rcna7856
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Winners and losers have the same goal. What separates them are the systems(aka habits) that move them towards their goal. As we discuss why habits matter in this episode, you’ll hear some thoughts that will change your perspective. Our goal is to inspire you to a better trajectory. Always keeping in mind that one definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.
#podcast #habits #consultants #productivity #values #happinessfactor #REAL #goals #results
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Welcome to Season 3! This season Sandy and Amy are digging into habits. In this first discussion, they take a look back with a review and reflection of 2021. You’ll hear what they discover, for example the need to look further back plus you’ll hear how they are making adjustments. They also chat about how identity can keep us stuck and rigid. Overall, keeping in mind that making small changes to our habits can give us the biggest long term gains. Happy New Year!
#podcast #habits #consultants #productivity #values #happinessfactor #REAL
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We are continually being swayed in what we do and what we believe. This may come from your historical perspective or maybe those around you. This week, Sandy and Amy wrap up season 2 with a discussion about the book Sway (see link in show notes). There were many studies that caught our attention in the book. We also talk about how to overcome the power of sway.
We hope you’ve enjoyed season 2. We’re taking a short break over December and will be back in the New Year with Season 3. Thank you for listening and thank you for your support!
Email your suggested conversation topics and questions to YourRealYourIdeal@gmail.com
Links:
https://confidence.coach/how-to-not-be-swayed-by-others/
https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/17346/sway-by-ori-brafman-and-rom-brafman/
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We judge ourselves by our intentions and we judge others by their behavior. What if we started assuming that positive intentions are behind their behavior. Sandy and Amy share some experiences that will support this idea and some that are more like cautionary tales.
Email your suggested conversation topics and questions to YourRealYourIdeal@gmail.com
Links:
9 reasons why making assumptions is dangerous
https://shareonpurpose.com/the-power-of-assuming-positive-intent/
https://postmodernsecurity.com/2021/01/05/assume-no-intent/
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Ugh, words can hurt. Sometimes we are dishing them out and sometimes we are on the receiving end. In this podcast Sandy and Amy acknowledge that getting feedback on your words is hard but also helpful in the long run. We also talk about positive ways to react to words that are hurtful to receive. It’s a good talk. Thank you for listening in.
Links: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/how-be-yourself/202011/6-ways-not-take-things-personally
https://www.apa.org/topics/resilience
https://www.oprah.com/omagazine/martha-beck-why-people-are-mean
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This episode Sandy and Amy are chatting about words that matter, specifically compliments. What is the best compliment you’ve ever received. If you easily know, it’s probably because it was authentic and aligned with your core values. Next podcast we will be discussing words that don’t matter.
Links:
https://www.nbcnews.com/better/lifestyle/why-compliments-make-us-feel-so-good-how-get-better-ncna1062546
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/200403/the-art-the-compliment
https://www.happify.com/hd/learn-to-give-genuine-compliments/
https://thinkkindness.org/all-things-kindness/a-list-of-100-compliments/
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This week we talk about Values in Action. How do you honor your values, value others, and be in relationships where you are valued? There are actions around all three of these that can help you increase your happiness factor. Listen in and learn. If you're curious, it’ll take you a long way!
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To love, honor, and cherish. Can we add the word “value” to this phrase? In this podcast, we dig into our relationships and ask the question “Do we need to have the same core values or do opposites attract?” Whatever you think, going through the values exercise in the links with your significant other will help you learn more about them It’s also a great way to express that you value them.
You can take the value exercise at: https://personalvalu.es/personal-values-test
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Values. In this podcast, we talk about identifying and honoring our core values along with the importance of valuing others and being with people who value us. These three things are pivotal to our happiness. And if one is out of wack, it’ll drive our whole Happiness Factor down with it. It’s a great conversation. Thank you for listening and be sure to like us on your listening platform so more people can find us.
You can take the value exercise at: https://personalvalu.es/personal-values-test
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We’re all trying to handle this forced reset we’ve had and we are finding that we are way less interested in compromising our values. This has set in motion The Great Resignation. Sandy and Amy talk about why and what the future could possibly hold.
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When you read “The Fear of No”, where does your mind go? This is a two for one podcast because Amy and Sandy went different directions with their thoughts. We talk a little about why it is hard to tell people no. We also talk a little about the fear of someone telling us no. Then, to throw a little twist to all of this, we talk about the fear of us saying yes to new opportunities and the snowball effect of those decisions which can be paralyzing.
Email your suggested conversation topics and questions to YourRealYourIdeal@gmail.com
Links:
https://www.healthline.com/health/fear-of-rejection#lean-on-your-network
https://www.forbes.com/sites/amymorin/2015/08/11/5-ways-the-fear-of-rejection-holds-you-back/?sh=688f01196d1a
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At one time or another—we’ve all been misfits or outsiders. It’s interesting how we recognize it’s great to be different and yet we yearn to fit in with others. Sandy and Amy will share times they haven’t fit in and discuss some of the benefits of being a misfit.
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Links: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/evolution-the-self/201910/have-you-ever-felt-misfit
https://www.thoughtsonlifeandlove.com/the-benefits-of-being-a-misfit/
https://www.ted.com/talks/lidia_yuknavitch_the_beauty_of_being_a_misfit?language=en
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We are talking about the noise in our lives in this episode. Whether that is business, commotion or actual noise, these things take away an opportunity to think. How can you create the space needed to process your thoughts? We share how we do it and what the benefits have been.
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Our favorite discussion to date. We all use filters and crop our photos to bring into focus what we think is important. What do you crop out of your photos? Is it really the important stuff? Whether in photos or in life, many times we are focusing on the wrong thing. Sometimes what is happening in the background of our lives can be more important than what we originally thought.
We have several challenges this week, all asking you to notice the background and keep it as part of your story.
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Living your passion is a conquest everyone seems to want, but is seemingly unattainable or unrealistic. The common result is not taking any steps forward. We discuss the upsides and downsides to following your passion and also explore the Inverted U Concept. There is an attainable sweet spot somewhere in the middle.
Taping Outline:
- Taping twice. Have video and pics!
- What’s your passion? What inspires you? Looking for the ideal state.
- 4:33 - Sandy talks about how she has better defined her passion. What she originally thought it was, it wasn’t.
- 6:13 - We love our Sheryl Crow and both Amy and Sandy have Sheryl lessons learned.
- 10:28 - Amy discusses her golf game and how (yes) this counts as developed passion?
- 11:48 - Stories on contemplating when you felt fulfilled and why? What do you care about?
- 14:54 - “Life is not black and white.” Small changes can make big differences. Finding passion in the little things makes it into the big things. The stepping stone approach.
- 16:41 - Sandy weighs her work with finance with her desire to chase her passion.
- 17:20 - Amy - “We have to give ourselves permission to be where ever we are.”
- 19:54 - Sandy and Amy go through their own examples of the “Child’s Play” exercise. How would you spend a snow day?
- 24:00 - The “Inverted U Concept” and application to chasing your passion. There is a point of diminishing returns.
- 27:10 Amy - Finnish proverb “Happiness is a place between too little and too much.”
- 29:03 - Amy shares insights from an article on how our passion can lead us astray.
Challenge Question:
- “Where am I at today?” “What are you doing today that you care about and fulfilling your passion in everyday life?” “What’s the sweet spot?”
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Article referenced: Reasons it’s so hard to follow your passion
https://hbr.org/2019/10/3-reasons-its-so-hard-to-follow-your-passion
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They're back and working on season 2. Hear what Sandy and Amy have been up to and what they're planning for this fall. The winds of change are blowing. If you're experiencing change, they want to hear your story. You can send a note through the links below. Thank you for joining the conversation. Email your story, suggested conversation topics or questions to YourRealYourIdeal@gmail.com Follow us: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/yourrealyourideal/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/yourrealyourideal Youtube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCCAe2oZ53_s_WFyL0_7k21w Twitter https://twitter.com/YourREALideal
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The seniors of 2020 got all of their activities cancelled but the seniors of 2021 are getting it all back, albeit a bit modified. Amy has 2 seniors - one in college and one in high school who are experiencing their senior year during the pandemic. Sandy has lots of questions about how it’s going and how everything is getting modified.
We want to thank all of our devoted listeners, you all are great!! We've enjoyed hearing from you! We have decided to take a little break. This is the last episode of Season 1. We will be back after the summer with some fresh content and new perspectives. Want us to talk about something specific in season 2? Send your thoughts, suggested conversation topics and questions to YourRealYourIdeal@gmail.com
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Do you overpack or travel lite? Sandy likes to travel lite and Amy is an over packer. One time Amy got challenged to write an article about how to pack lite for a trip. She decided to do it as an actual experiment and documented her packing and traveling for a week with only a carry on. She learned a little about herself and what is really needed to enjoy a vacation. Sandy on the other hand has done a trip with just a string backpack. What was she trying to prove?? Enjoy our conversation.
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Random acts of kindness not only feel good for the receiver, but also the giver. Sandy and Amy set out for a fun week of doing acts of kindness, asking about acts of kindness during this pandemic and getting some video. It didn’t all turn out as planned, but as always, we had a lot to share.
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Sited articles:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/emotional-nourishment/201711/why-random-acts-kindness-matter-your-well-being#:~:text=When%20we%20practice%20random%20acts,be%20kind%20to%20other%20people.&text=Kindness%20reduces%20stress.
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Most episodes Sandy and Amy are in different states but last episode, Sandy surprised Amy with an in person visit. It was so fun, it got us thinking, who likes surprises? We polled friends and family and found out not many people like surprises. But there is an interesting twist to this little tidbit. Enjoy our conversation.
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Sited articles:
https://www.wnycstudios.org/podcasts/takeaway/segments/surprise-unexpected-why-it-feels-good-and-why-its-good-us
https://splinternews.com/science-explains-why-surprise-brings-us-pleasure-1793846784
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The easy route when dealt with conflict is to play victim. Women are especially good at this. It feels good and most people sympathize with the victim. Win-win. But there are no victims without villains. All drama is constructed of the villain and victim mentality. Are real life stories really those of villains and victims or is the truth somewhere in the middle? Is a true friend one who doesn’t automatically sympathize and help build the villain, but one who shows compassion and helps learn from the journey? You can lift someone up without tearing someone else down.
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Content referenced in this conversation:
Blog post https://sandyalanedays.blogspot.com/2019/05/may-15-2019-victims-and-villains.html
article: https://jacobdevaney.medium.com/villains-victims-and-heroes-which-one-are-you-63be4f9d8d0f
https://www.healthline.com/health/victim-mentality#signs
Revisionist History: Free Brian Williams https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELM_WEoV3Ns
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If you feel any kind of disconnect with a child, spouse or friend, it could be because you’re speaking different love languages. The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman outlines the different languages we speak, why we need to speak others love language and how to do it. It’s a very interesting concept to explore in your relationships.
Show Links:
Oprah and Chapman conversation: https://omny.fm/shows/oprah-s-supersoul-conversations/oprah-and-dr-gary-chapman-the-five-love-languages
Determine your love language: www.5lovelanguages.com
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Conflict can be so uncomfortable, especially when working with a team. It feels much better when everyone is in agreement. Is it possible to shift our thinking about conflict and consider it more of a gift. The people who share different perspectives can help you see your blind spots.
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Get ‘er done is a tongue-in-cheek quote (most often associated with Nebraskan, Larry the Cable Guy) but this action carries a lot of significance. Starting something is great, but finishing is the grand prize. Many of us (including Amy and Sandy) struggle with kicking the can over the line. Not only is it important to finish what we start, but to pick the right things to start and finish.
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We all know our authentic self but have we adjusted to match societal expectations...are we caged? Sandy and Amy recently read the book Untamed by Glennon Doyle. She’s a great story teller that explores stepping out of our cages and honoring the knowing.
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As we celebrate St. Patty’s Day, enjoying our Irish heritage (or pretending we have Irish lineage), we are reminded that we are all from somewhere. From family who immigrated from another country generations ago to our childhood beloved hometown, we hold dearly our roots. Amy and Sandy discuss the human connection to our heritage and need to belong to something deeper than ourselves.
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We are on the road again! After months of dreaming for our days of travel to be back. Amy and Sandy are finally enjoying some much wanted travel. But as with all things in life, especially a life riddled with COVID, our journeys have changed. Although we are giddy to pack our luggage again, we are also finding travel feels a lot different, some good and some bad.
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Honesty is a coveted virtue. One we place highly as a building block to integrity and character. But what about when the truth hurts? What if a white lie is told to avoid pain or ugliness of a situation? Is truth always the golden rule?
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Reviewing our financial years for 2020 vs 2021, most of us see stark differences in where we spent our money. Looking at fluctuations in income during COVID year as well, the financial comparison has been a good reflection; not only on core needs vs. wants but also the ROI (return on investment) in how we spend our money in relation to how we spend our time.
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Want to help someone head in the “right” direction? Well, we are sure you have some advice on share. You might even use some advice our listeners shared on Episode 17 of our podcast. We share advice because we want to help, but is there a little more to it? We discuss how to tame that desire to “help” and how to switch the conversations to curiosity not solutions.
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Oh, to be optimistic. Amy joined Sandy’s book club in reading Chasing the Bright Side by Jess Ekstrom and on this podcast we have a mini book discussion. What resonated with us is the concept of hope for the future which was highlighted in her stories of resilience and perseverance.
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“To heal we have to remember” - President Joe Biden regarding the loss of lives due to the pandemic. It’s been a rough year for some of us. How do we move forward when life isn’t always beautiful. We’ve all had those events that have left their mark. Amy and Sandy share a few and how they moved forward.
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What is the difference between an opinion and a judgement? Although being judged feels harsh, too often we ourselves rush to judgement before taking the time to form honest opinions. Sandy and Amy dig into this topic. When do you share an opinion? Just because you have it, doesn’t mean others want to hear it.
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I was reading an article about how successful businesses perfected their pivot to survive the COVID shutdown and changes forced from the pandemic. I got to thinking how this applied to individuals as well. How do you react when change happens? Do you successfully pivot or cower from the obstacle? Let’s discuss how to perfect the pivot. PS- Amy mentions this is episode 24, but she was off. It’s really 25!!
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Amy and Sandy will reflect on their wins and losses for the year. What worked and what didn’t? From parenting and work to relationships and goals, it is an episode on the reflection of the good, the bad, and even a little bit of ugly. Things may always look rosy from the outside view, but the failures are real and necessary for future wins.
Related quotes:
“Mistakes are portals of discovery” - James Joyce
“Good judgement comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgement” - Rita Mae Brown
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Come January 1st self improvement is on everyone’s mind, including Sandy and Amy’s. What can we do different this year to be better? Research shows that of the 50% of adults that make resolutions only 10% will keep them more than a few months. Yep, we’ve been there.
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Change is hard. Leaving relationships along with the security and the investment that went into them is even harder. We hold on to what brings us comfort. And then there's death and mortality, the ultimate fear for most. So much in this conversation!
Some tips we discussed: 1. Don't rush your goodbyes; it's a continual process so start early. 2. Keep objects as a memory prompt. 3. Pinpoint exactly what you will miss. 4. Don't forget to say goodbye to places and things.
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Ugh, feedback. It can be well received or ruin your day. If you fine tune the way you give and receive feedback, it can help you in life long self awareness and improvement. Sandy and Amy are doing a book discussion about “Thanks for the Feedback” by Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen.
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Where would you live if you could live anywhere? Where we plant ourselves can be different in each phase of our lives. There are many things that brings us to where we are currently living. Maybe we’ve always lived in the area, or maybe a job brought us here. These days, with more and more online work, many of us could be living anywhere. What makes your city your home?
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Have you heard that 2020 has been a rough year? We’re hearing a lot of people just wanting 2020 to go away. We’re taking a different approach by looking at 2020 through the lens of gratitude. This little shift in perspective can help all of us appreciate the good that also happened in 2020.
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If we lead and are self-assured women, does this make us bossy? Being told we are confident and in charge feels good. Being told we are bossy and controlling feels judgy. What is the fine line between the two and how do we best present ourselves to come across in the most effective way? In this episode we talk about #BanBossy. You can get more info as a teacher, parent or manager at https://banbossy.com/
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We were looking for a little advice to talk about so we asked our listeners to share their best advice. We got so many submissions! We picked a few and took a deep dive in this podcast. We had fun reading the advice and sharing why it resonated with us. If you want to read all the advice we got, you can find it HERE. Enjoy!
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We find women in my life apologize A LOT! And for things they don’t need to apologize for. They overthink situations and then go back with regret on what they say or felt. Why do women have the knee-jerk reaction of apologizing for how they feel?
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We talk about the real in all of our discussions. But what about hopes and dreams? What about the dreamers? Should we always be realistic in our thoughts or do we need space in our brain to dream for what may seem unrealistic? Amy and Sandy explore how to encourage and support the dreams of others plus when (and if) you need to step in with some reality.
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What are you doing tonight...same thing as last night? If you have tried to simplify your life in the past, this moment in time with the pandemic could feel boring. We can embrace the ordinary knowing that this time will pass, but what do we do with all this free time??
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We’ve all heard “Anyone can be an activist”. There is a moment in your life when you have all of a sudden feel like you have the time to do small things to help a cause. Then, you might notice yourself doing bigger things. What’s the cause you’re willing to give your time too? It’s never too late to “Just do it”
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Money can be a blessing and a curse. The more we make, the more we spend. Our monthly financial obligations can turn into a ‘handcuff’ against making desired life decisions. “I can’t change careers because I can’t make what I make today.” “I don’t have enough spare money to cover cost of the course I SOOOOO want to take.” Starting with a zero budget and analyzing every cost as needed, wanted, necessary (or plan to reduce in future) is a great exercise and digging deep in what really matters.
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Aging is tough. We are all doing it, but in different stages. The last phase is the notably the hardest, given our mortality stares us in the face and our vessel of a body can not do the things it could do at a younger age. The key is in handling hard life choices and the aging process with human dignity and leading with this driving principle.
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It is so easy to jump to judgment and offer your two cents, state your point, before anyone else. We all want to be heard, especially when we feel passionate about something. The problem is we miss the input of others when we talk over them. Collaboration is a great thing and true collaboration involves active listen and understanding others points of view. This applies both at work and in personal relationships.
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Let’s turn things a little upside down. Instead of doing magical thinking, let’s be realistic. Let’s fill our lives with the essential, not everything. Let’s be authentic and not just follow the crowd. And lastly, are we creating a life that’s livable. Are we thriving or just surviving? The episode we talk about all these aspects of being REAL in your day to day living including the obstacles and the rewards.
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Too often we equate being successful at work or growing our client base to requiring whatever it takes to move up to the next level. But good work relationships do matter. No one gets a pass for being an asshole. Not every relationship is a good fit, but being an asshole is a non-negotiable. Life is too short to work with assholes.
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It is a common theory that to be your best person is to be humble, definitely not vain. And is a level of vanity bad? Looking and feeling our best brings out our best in our words, actions and outlook. How do we distinguish between self-care and vanity? Amy and Sandy dig into this topic and share their "vain" moments.
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Taking responsibility for your mistakes can be hard.No one is perfect, you can tell when people are not stepping up, there is an appreciation for people who do take responsibility, comfort in knowing mistakes are ok. We are at our best when we can create a safe space for ourselves and others to come clean.
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How happy are you? Ask yourself on a scale from 1 to 10, how consistently happy are you at this stage in your life? There is so much talk on the quest to find happiness and joy in life. We will discuss the real behind the happiness factor and what affects this and the formula (yes, there is one!) behind achieving your ideal highest and most consistent state of happiness.
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How do we create positive change in the face of all racial and political oppression of today? When is it courage to speak up or wisdom to way nothing? How do we navigate through oppression to enable positive steps forward?
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Why do we feel so inclined to parent under The Life Script Model? What does stepping outside the life script look like?
“There is an overwhelming desire for people to follow the ‘life script model’. When people break it, it becomes very noticeable.”~Kate Bowler. The concept was introduced to us when listening to a Kate Bowler “Everything Happens” podcast. She talked about it from the perspective of a cancer patient and facing death. The Life Script Model resonated with us as individuals and as a parents.
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Just like the classic line from "Harry Met Sally", people too often chase happiness by wanting to mirror others. Sandy and Amy discuss the misnomer of trying to achieve this Sally zen by duplicating actions and lives in a quest to obtain the same. “I’ll have what she’s having” seems so simple an ask. Yet just like the humor of this movie moment, it is rarely a reality.
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Amy and Sandy discuss their lives post-shutdown (coronavirus). The new normal is happening and we’ve decided to start a conversation. We are two women taking on life’s questions. Through our unique journeys in weathering life to date we will tackle the probing questions and issues by first recognizing the real in life’s situations to get to the desired ideal. Practical. Honest. Fun. Curious. Helping women create the ideal they want most in our shared journey of life.
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