Retail Theater: Recent Episodes

The Synthetic Playhouse

In the Retail Theater, the synthetic playhouse performs stories about people acting up in retail or consumer situations. The stories themselves are funny or recount unthinkable behaviors. What makes these performances entertaining, albeit quirky, is that artificial intelligence is used as much as possible in the performance.

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  • Customer was finally right about something.
  • Hold this
  • This guy just can’t FATHOM our prices
  • TRANSFER ME TO THE OTHER STORE
  • I’m sorry I’m not a mind reader.

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  • Customer gets angry and leaves store shouting because I don’t work here

  • Difficult big box store door guy

  • I'm allergic to chemicals, you're going to buy me a new computer!

  • The man who has no idea what to get his wife!

  • The People wrote the check

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  1. I can’t believe I'm the one with the brain tumor
  2. I Told You So
  3. In which we learn what minimum means
  4. Just because I have long hair doesn't mean I work at Guitar Center
  5. my arm is soaked in cat pee and there's a snake stuck to my pants

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  1. Her name is Sophie!
  2. Karen yells we need to get our act together
  3. My Hero Cashier
  4. Where is your lanyard?!
  5. You don't deserve to have a job! Debatable, but you're still wrong.

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  1. Dirty Ice on the Side Please
  2. how to deal with rude people on Black Friday
  3. Teacher doesn't know what a mouse looks like
  4. Why dont you ask someone who works here Turned out Im actually the jerk
  5. Your hold time is ridiculous!

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  1. Crazy lady tries her darnedest to crash our staff meeting
  2. how to deal with rude people on Black Friday.
  3. when you need to go to the ER and need a nurse, good luck
  4. Some crazy lady screamed at me for not helping her
  5. You and what army

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  • Selling cars is a hell of a drug

  • Server almost threw away my husbands work credit card!

  • What did you say that med was for again

  • Why can’t I use my ripped up receipt for a return

  • Why you shouldn't use free trials in production

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  • I decided to be nice to the rude customer

  • Kid and Her Parents Thought I Worked In The Computer Shop

  • My husband and I spent 45 min explaining to an airline call center agent the difference between arrival and departure. How is your holiday prep going

  • Stop Trying To Understand

  • System issues cause a single mother panic, I look deeper

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  • I work at this store, but this is not the store to ask those questions

  • 7 months into my first help desk job, I feel sad for getting somebody fired yesterday

  • I do not work in this strip club

  • I'm a Lawyer

  • Perhaps the 2Pines is better for your financial needs

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  • Customer Stalking Employees

  • I dunno, just give her whatever she asks you for. Mmm...not how that works

  • IT, but not here

  • Oops, I almost shouted at a guest. In my defense, she was being super dumb

  • Sunday Night Mall rats

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  • Apparently I have the devil in me

  • But it's a POWER strip

  • Free appetizer goes awry

  • I’ve been a customer for nearly 20 years, you’ll have to figure it out

  • My laptop is trash because I don't know how to use it

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  • Customer Stalking Employees

  • Do You know where pickles come from?

  • Entitled lady doesn’t understand a line of 60+ people means we will be slow

  • NO! I'm not going to wake a guest for your stupidity

  • Robber mistakes me as another customer, offers to cut me in on robbery

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  • 15 minute wait for an iced coffee

  • I am not paying for something I am not using . Ok then Karen, have fun with Collections

  • Lady, we're in California, not Hawaii

  • The PC was stolen

  • Unfortunately sire we do not price match

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  • Mistaken as a staff member

  • Nail salon owner tries to argue with me over negative review

  • This is false advertising

  • Well it is official, I am getting out!

  • When they realize it's not our fault

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  • I was wrongfully accused of being a Karen

  • Sure, let's leave the new guy in charge

  • Karen get's a taste of her own medicine

  • Rules are rules lady!

  • No Ma’am, The cashier did not think you were 88 years old.

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  • When a Karen's daughter finally snaps.

  • The actual craziest thing that's happened to me

  • How I Caused a Karen to Question Herself and Scared a Second In One Day!

  • I need help but I'm just gonna refuse to do anything you say!

  • Might have gotten lil angry, has been a really stressful month

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  • A Karen and a Loud Comeuppance

  • Customer kept having a problem with their pizza so, I banned them

  • For absolutely no reason

  • Lady refuses to pay for product she damaged because she doesn't need it

  • 2-Day Shipping and Representatives Misrepresenting