The Lumes & Me Podcast: Recent Episodes
Lumes N
A millennial marketer, coach, and creative documenting her journey to a somewhat more intentional life. This podcast is all about adulting, realistic self-betterment, and all the growing pains that come with it so my sincerest wish is for you to find something here that helps you adult better too. Join me for weekly doses of whatever nuggets of wisdom I've picked up along the way. Let's get into it!
Our GDPR privacy policy was updated on August 8, 2022. Visit acast.com/privacy for more information.
This week we're exploring why your facts are probably fiction and how knowing the difference can make or break your ability to achieve your goals. I cover:
- What are thoughts and how they're made
- How to tell the difference between a fact and a thought (yes they're different)
- What to do when we don't like our results
- How to generate the results we want using the power of our mind
I've got us a brand new site where we can all convene - https://www.lumes.me. I'm beyond excited to bring this to you all especially because it's another way for us to make these themes we discuss so much more actionable. If you would like some help applying anything you've learned in the podcast to your own life or you're feeling stuck and don't know where to even begin, start here: https://www.lumes.me/coaching. You can also send me your dilemmas or any questions you're stuck on so we can address on a future episode! Can't wait to hear from you!
This week we're talking about toxic positivity. You didn't know that positivity could be toxic did you? Neither did I until I learned all about it. I cover:
- Why thinking positive is so rarely the answer to finding inner peace and happiness
- The purpose of our feelings and how to understand them
- Why relying on "Good Vibes Only" is a surefire way to not be happy
- The real key to actual happiness
I've got us a brand new site where we can all convene - https://www.lumes.me. I'm beyond excited to bring this to you all especially because it's another way for us to make these themes we discuss so much more actionable. If you would like some help applying anything you've learned in the podcast to your own life or you're feeling stuck and don't know where to even begin, start here: https://www.lumes.me/coaching. You can also send me your dilemmas or any questions you're stuck on so we can address on a future episode! Can't wait to hear from you!
Brene Brown's list of 87 emotion:
https://brenebrown.com/resources/atlas-of-the-heart-list-of-emotions/
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Links to donate to organisations helping refugees:
https://www.unrefugees.org.uk/where-help-is-needed/
https://www.gofundme.com/f/Support-Black-people-fleeing-Ukraine
Our GDPR privacy policy was updated on August 8, 2022. Visit acast.com/privacy for more information.
This week we're talking about what real self care is and why it matters so much that we get it right. I cover:
- The difference between self care and self love (and yes there is a huge difference)
- How to recognise if you're self caring properly
- The surprising consequence of not going beneath the surface
- Why your brain doesn't always like it
And we have a brand new site where we can all convene - https://www.lumes.me. I'm beyond excited to bring this to you all especially because it's another way for us to make these themes we discuss so much more actionable. If you would like some help applying anything you've learned in the podcast to your own life or you're feeling stuck and don't know where to even begin, start here: https://www.lumes.me/coaching. You can also send in dilemmas or anything questions you're stuck on so we can address on a future episode! Can't wait to hear from you!
More about self talk:
https://www.lumes.me/post/the-unexpected-power-of-self-talk
Find your attachment style:
https://www.attachedthebook.com/wordpress/compatibility-quiz/?step=3
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Links to donate to organisations helping refugees:
https://www.unrefugees.org.uk/where-help-is-needed/
https://www.gofundme.com/f/Support-Black-people-fleeing-Ukraine
Our GDPR privacy policy was updated on August 8, 2022. Visit acast.com/privacy for more information.
This week we're talking about dealing with difficult people. I cover:
- How to understand your triggers
- What to do when you're stuck in a space with people who annoy you
More about boundaries: https://open.spotify.com/episode/003zF8JOyaJ8i8HcJwnO6D?si=gDlcnDQRTxaHIl03ILINLA
And we have a brand new site where we can all convene - https://www.lumes.me. I'm beyond excited to bring this to you all especially because it's another way for us to make these themes we discuss so much more actionable. If you would like some help applying anything you've learned in the podcast to your own life or you're feeling stuck and don't know where to even begin, start here: https://www.lumes.me/coaching. You can also send in dilemmas or anything questions you're stuck on so we can address on a future episode! Can't wait to hear from you!
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Links to donate to organisations helping refugees:
https://www.unrefugees.org.uk/where-help-is-needed/
https://www.gofundme.com/f/Support-Black-people-fleeing-Ukraine
Our GDPR privacy policy was updated on August 8, 2022. Visit acast.com/privacy for more information.
In this episode, I share how I went from hating dating to being just about fine with it. I tell you how to get curious with yourself so you can too. As always, send in your dilemmas and share feedback with me at hello@lumes.me. If anything that resonates share it with your friends (and even people you don't really like).
Start here for context: https://www.lumes.me/post/how-to-be-single-properly
Other guides:
- How to talk to yourself - https://www.lumes.me/post/the-unexpected-power-of-self-talk
- Confirmation bias - https://www.lumes.me/post/turning-bias-into-a-superpower-and-other-millennial-lessons
And we have a brand new site where we can all convene - https://www.lumes.me. I'm beyond excited to bring this to you all especially because it's another way for us to make these themes we discuss so much more actionable. If you would like some help applying anything you've learned in the podcast to your own life or you're feeling stuck and don't know where to even begin, start here: https://www.lumes.me/coaching. You can also send in dilemmas or anything questions you're stuck on so we can address on a future episode! Can't wait to hear from you!
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Links to donate to organisations helping refugees:
https://www.unrefugees.org.uk/where-help-is-needed/
https://www.gofundme.com/f/Support-Black-people-fleeing-Ukraine
Our GDPR privacy policy was updated on August 8, 2022. Visit acast.com/privacy for more information.
In this week's episode, we'll cover:
- What failure actually is
- Why "forever" is a myth
- What you can actually do if a fear of failure is holding you back
And we have a brand new site where we can all convene - https://www.lumes.me. I'm beyond excited to bring this to you all especially because it's another way for us to make these themes we discuss so much more actionable. If you would like some help applying anything you've learned in the podcast to your own life or you're feeling stuck and don't know where to even begin, start here: https://www.lumes.me/coaching. You can also send in dilemmas or anything questions you're stuck on so we can address on a future episode! Can't wait to hear from you!
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Links to donate to organisations helping refugees:
https://www.unrefugees.org.uk/where-help-is-needed/
https://www.gofundme.com/f/Support-Black-people-fleeing-Ukraine
Our GDPR privacy policy was updated on August 8, 2022. Visit acast.com/privacy for more information.
If you care about tech, pop culture, science, and/or health then this week's episode is for you! I started a podcast called Avocado Proust with my dear friend Jivan and every week we share interesting bits that caught our eye that week before diving deeper into our topic of the week.
In this episode, we talk about Elon Musk, Gorillas, and Scarcity Mindsets.
Listen to more episodes here: https://open.spotify.com/show/74xMbErmewmpRQiGB06dsP?si=b21cf7bcdd094955
And we have a brand new site where we can all convene - https://www.lumes.me. I'm beyond excited to bring this to you all especially because it's another way for us to make these themes we discuss so much more actionable. If you would like some help applying anything you've learned in the podcast to your own life or you're feeling stuck and don't know where to even begin, start here: https://www.lumes.me/coaching. You can also send in dilemmas or anything questions you're stuck on so we can address on a future episode! Can't wait to hear from you!
Our GDPR privacy policy was updated on August 8, 2022. Visit acast.com/privacy for more information.
Season 2! We're back, you're here, and I'm chuffed to bits! Let's get into it. In this week's episode, I'm getting older and hopefully wiser so here are 3 things that are on my mind as I advance through my elder millennial years. I talk about:
- Self awareness - what does it even mean?
- How "should" sabotages our ability to hit our full potential
- Why confirmation bias is not always a bad thing...
And we have a brand new site where we can all convene - https://www.lumes.me. I'm beyond excited to bring this to you all especially because it's another way for us to make these themes we discuss so much more actionable. If you would like some help applying anything you've learned in the podcast to your own life or you're feeling stuck and don't know where to even begin, start here: https://www.lumes.me/coaching.
My friend Jeeves and I's brand new podcast on tech, science, and culture - https://open.spotify.com/show/74xMbErmewmpRQiGB06dsP?si=771c4099e68447f5
Elder millennial bants - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WO9qW20H0uM
Kito sandals - https://www.reddit.com/r/nostalgia/comments/6ycn59/the_early_90s_socks_with_sandal_fad/
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Links to donate to organisations helping refugees:
https://www.unrefugees.org.uk/where-help-is-needed/
https://www.gofundme.com/f/Support-Black-people-fleeing-Ukraine
Our GDPR privacy policy was updated on August 8, 2022. Visit acast.com/privacy for more information.
In this season finale, we're exploring what it means to be creative. Science says humans are all born creative but if that's the the case then why can't I draw? In this episode, I talk about:
- The ways creativity can manifest
- Why you're probably more creative than you think you are
- How to find and use your inner latent creativity - no art or tools required
Study on creativity in children and adults - https://youtube.com/watch?v=ZfKMq-rYtnc&feature=share
4 minute creativity test (Divergent Association Task) - https://www.datcreativity.com/
We will be back on April 30th! I miss you already!
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Links to donate to organisations helping refugees:
https://www.unrefugees.org.uk/where-help-is-needed/
https://www.gofundme.com/f/Support-Black-people-fleeing-Ukraine
Our GDPR privacy policy was updated on August 8, 2022. Visit acast.com/privacy for more information.
Learning how to be more intentional about my thoughts has started to transform the way that I am able to show up in the world. This week I want to share with you what I've learned so far in the hopes that there'll be something you can use too to bring you closer to getting the outcomes you want.
We'll cover:
- Why our brains love shortcuts
- How to differentiate what's really happening from what you think is happening
- The reasons why you may not be getting the outcomes you want
- How to actually get the outcomes you want
Brene Brown's list of core human emotions: https://brenebrown.com/resources/list-of-core-emotions/
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Links to donate to organisations helping refugees:
https://www.unrefugees.org.uk/where-help-is-needed/
https://www.gofundme.com/f/Support-Black-people-fleeing-Ukraine
Our GDPR privacy policy was updated on August 8, 2022. Visit acast.com/privacy for more information.
This week I wanted to go a bit deeper on the topic of overcoming limiting beliefs so I brought along my first ever special guest! Jivan is a health and science nerd, product guru, writer, full time Londoner, and all round legend. Last month she took a massive leap of faith and quit her job joining the millions of others taking part in the western world's Great Resignation.
In this episode we talk about:
- The power of limiting beliefs,
- The unexpected perks of flailing in an abyss,
- Why doughnuts might just be the delicious downfall of the accuracy of your gut instinct.
Like what you hear? Share it with someone you care about, subscribe for weekly episodes and leaving a rating wherever you're listening to this today.
Jivan's newsletter - https://jivan.substack.com/
HBR article on burnout - https://hbr.org/2021/12/is-your-burnout-from-too-much-work-or-too-little-impact
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Links to donate to organisations helping refugees:
https://www.unrefugees.org.uk/where-help-is-needed/
https://www.gofundme.com/f/Support-Black-people-fleeing-Ukraine
Our GDPR privacy policy was updated on August 8, 2022. Visit acast.com/privacy for more information.
Ever since our smooth-brained early human ancestors roamed the earth hundreds of thousands of years ago, the human nervous system has had one unwavering persistent goal - reduce surprise and optimize actions. This week we discuss how this singular task keeps us alive whilst also being our number one hater aka the reason why we tend to struggle to do hard things. I take you through the steps I've been using to move from stuck to action.
If you enjoy this episode, share it with someone you care about and subscribe and/or leave a rating wherever you're reading this.
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Links to donate to organisations helping refugees:
https://www.unrefugees.org.uk/where-help-is-needed/
https://www.gofundme.com/f/Support-Black-people-fleeing-Ukraine
Referenced Studies
The Intolerance To Uncertainty Scale - https://www.phenxtoolkit.org/protocols/view/650701
Our GDPR privacy policy was updated on August 8, 2022. Visit acast.com/privacy for more information.
Many of us were raised to believe that if you're single, you must exist in one of 3 states:
- actively looking for a partner (begrudgingly single)
- not interested in looking for a partner (intentionally single)
- somewhere in between the two constantly justifying why on earth you’re not currently swiping despite being so single
This pervasive narrative needs to get straight in the bin. I’ll be exploring why in this week’s episode.
As ever, visit https://www.lumes.me for more.
This Valentine's week, lovers will frantically try to paper the cracks with delicious consumerism and eager promises that if we’re honest really only tackle the symptoms but do not address the cause (IFYKYK). Whether you’re smashing single life or rocking a rad relationship, compatibility may be on your mind in some way shape or form as it will be on mine. This episode explores compatibility as it relates to our professional lives.
Full list of questions are https://www.lumes.me/post/how-to-date-at-work. If you're enjoying these episodes, please add the show to your list of subcriptions and leave a rating that's as dope as you are wherever you listen to your podcasts.
It’s 7:34am. I sat down about an hour ago to write this week’s post on motivation (LOL) and in that hour, I’ve customised a PAX wardrobe on the IKEA website (that I have no intention of buying) with painstaking attention to detail. Motivation will ghost you right when you need it. If this sounds like your life, this episode might help.
Our GDPR privacy policy was updated on August 8, 2022. Visit acast.com/privacy for more information.
The internet is obsessed with creating the perfect morning routine. YouTube is full of “productivity influencers” filming stylized videos full of gentle awakenings at 4am, eye crust-free journaling, 12 step skin care, quiet contemplative coffees, full gym sessions, and even the odd walk on the beach. Instead of just calling shenanigans (or “cap” as I almost said but then remembered I’m not in Gen Z), I thought I’d give creating my very own morning routine a go. Here’s how that went.
I hope you enjoy this episode as much as I enjoyed making it for you. Subscribe to the poddcast and join the mailing list at lumes.me for weekly treats!
Lumes & Me is a podcast where I share my most effective hacks on adulting because growth is hard and I’d love to have you all on this journey with me. Who am I? I’m Lumes! I’m a marketer, a life coach, and a creative. Each week I cover a self-betterment topic that’s helping me be more intentional in the hopes it’ll help you too. Yes you! Sometimes it’s just me on an episode and sometimes there are guests from all the different walks of life I’m in. Check it out and if you hear something that helps you think differently then tell all your friends and all your foes. Visit lumes.me to get help putting anything and everything you hear here into practice.
Failing that, subscribe and leave a rating so you never miss an episode!
Go on, press play, you'll love it I promise!
How are you getting on with the promises you made for 2022 last week? I hope you’re smashing through them like you hoped you would. If you are, that’s awesome but if you’re not then I hope this week’s post will help.
Honestly, as I typed out my goals for 2022 in the last post, a part of me REALLY wanted to put in a 3rd goal purely out of force of habit but I had to fight every urge in my deepest waters to hold back. In fact, some of the western world’s greatest thinkers on human nature & habit formation always say start small so you can build as you go on. If your goals depend on you assuming you’ll magically become a brand new completely different person on January 1st then they’re doomed to fail.
I once set a Jan 1st goal to start running 5k every day from nowt. The first day I ran was stresssssssssful. Everything jiggled, my knees screamed and my lungs handed in their notice. The second day was no different so I figured I’d do what I usually do to make things I don’t want to do more appealing. Add data. I spent a small fortune on Nike run tracking gear which in the early 2000s consisted of an iPod Nano and an arm tracker connected to a pebble sized bit sitting awkwardly in your trainers. I ran a few more times with the data which did not help the way I thought it would. So I gave up.
5k a day was a terrible goal for someone who has never run before. At the time, I never bothered to think about why I set that goal and what I was trying to achieve. In hindsight this was likely because I wanted to feel strong and healthy like almost everyone else who sets weight based resolutions. A more realistic achievable goal should have been based on who I was, not who I wanted to be. If I could go back to the noughties, I’d tell young Lumes to walk for 5 minutes a day.
Great goals should feel too small, so small your mind tells you it’s too easy and not worth doing. Well, if it’s so easy then go actually do it.
Why did you set the goals you set last week? Why do you want to change the life you had in 2021 or last week or yesterday? Why do you think achieving those goals will bring value to your life?
What I like about the 2 commitments I’ve made to myself for the year ahead are they use skills I already have but would love to use more so they can improve. My why therefore is because watching myself grow as a person fulfills me. It’s not even necessarily about the end result for me (i.e. I’ve no clue what I’m going to do with 365 pictures of varying quality haha). It’s the process of going from doubting myself to backing myself.
What’s your why from today?
Any setbacks in your resolutions so far just tell you the goals you’ve set for yourself could benefit from a review now that you know what makes a great goal:
Figure out your ‘why’ for each goal you’ve set. Don’t be afraid to go deeper. If you need help with this, get in touch. I can help.
Make it small enough so it seems easy peasy and easily achieved because small wins are more motivating that big fails (i.e. instead of starting a new restrictive diet, commit to adding a handful of veg to whatever you’re eating)
Can you create new habits AND new space in your life? Doing both from scratch when you did neither yesterday is super hard. It’s like moving to a new country to do a new job for a new company. It’s not impossible but it does require you to give everything you have to make it work. Are you doing that now? If not, then pick one.
Our GDPR privacy policy was updated on August 8, 2022. Visit acast.com/privacy for more information.
Thoughts on starting all over again for the third time and a public declaration.
Our GDPR privacy policy was updated on August 8, 2022. Visit acast.com/privacy for more information.