No More Dead Dads: Recent Episodes

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Our guest today, Kevin Schaefer has done an incredible amount of research about fatherhood in particular, how fathers in Canada compare to fathers in the US and what policies encourage or discourage a father's involvement and availability in the home in each country.

He's an associate professor in the department of sociology at Brigham Young University. He's had over 40 peer reviewed articles. That's how I got in touch with him is I read one of his articles about childhood trauma and just was absolutely touched by the stories there. He has a book coming out called, So Close, Yet So Far how Canadian and American fathers differ and why.

In this episode he shares his research and what we can do to help influence policies to increase fatherhood engagement - in particular paid fatherly leave in America.

Show notes:

https://kevinshafer.org/

https://rightawaydad.com

https://www.todaysparent.com/family/parenting/canadian-dads-more-involved-than-american-dads/

https://phys.org/news/2021-07-canadian-dads-involved-kids-american.html

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Have you ever had a moment with your kids without any distractions and just sat there in silence because you didn’t know what to say or ask them? These are great opportunities that are unfortunately pretty rare nowadays. But in this episode, we’re going to talk about one thing - an easy routine - that can have a huge impact on your relationship with your kids and give you incredible insight into yourself. It will make those distraction-less opportunities more common and help you know what to say.

Show notes:

https://rightawaydad.com/dad-interviews-the-easiest-way-to-build-a-strong-relationship-with-your-kids/

Music by DJ Quads

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We’ve got Andy Rahden on the show today. He’s the CEO of a children’s supplemental education company, Shmoop - which is actually a Yiddish term that means to gain progress in or move forward. He’s an engineer by training and has a great career in tech, design, and education. He talks about what he’s seeing at founder and CEO of Shmoop as well as the state of education today.

Our three do or die takeaways for dads covered in this episode are:

1. Be careful labelling your child, especially around school related things like grades and test scores. Avoid as much as possible saying things like, “Jacob is my smart kid, he does really well in school.” or “Jane got a high score on her test, she’s an A+ student.” Focus on outcomes and behavior, not labeling your kids.
2. Learn how to ask good questions to your kids. Andy’s Shmoop Heartbeat product randomizes through hundreds of questions to get a pulse on a child’s current state of being. As dads, we need to get comfortable asking questions. If nothing else, just ask “Why?” Kids are amazing at asking that simple but powerful question, we can be too. Dads too often fail ignorantly by asking passive questions like, “You good?” while we hold a thumbs up and hope our child just says “Good” so we can move on. Instead ask more open ended questions like, “How are you?” wait for them to reply, then ask “Why do you feel that way?” - that’s a good way to start.
3. Be intentional with the time you have. Andy shared how limited his time can be as a CEO and on several boards. Being intentional and maximizing the time you do have is hugely important, almost as much as increasing the amount of time you have with your children.

Show notes:

https://www.shmoop.com/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/andyrahden/

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Autism is a gift. The CDC estimates 1 in 54 kids are blessed to be on the autistic spectrum. That's the mindset parents with autistic kiddos usually come to, but it can real struggle to feel that way all the time. Unfortunately, it can take years to reach an official diagnosis and start behavior training and receive assistance to help a child's development and overall quality of life. That's where Jonathan Mueller and his team at Ascend Behavior Partners come in.

Jonathan is the founding owner and Co-CEO of Ascend Behavior Partners, which is an organization that works with children and families living with autism. He's the father of 3 kids and is not afraid to let his daughters paint his nails. In fact, first time I met Jonathan I noticed he had red candy apple painted fingernails. Legit.

Today we’re going to talk about raising children with autism. There’s not one type of autism that is the same, but rather there are many subtypes of autism and each person with autism can have unique strengths and challenges. The development of autism is affected by genetic and environmental influences. And often autism isn’t the only condition families face but frequently is accompanied with medical issues such as GI disorders, seizures and sleep challenges. But despite these challenges, any dad I’ve met with an autistic child says how blessed they are because of, not in spite of, their child’s condition.

Jonathan explains applied behavior analysis and how it works. He also shares what each parent with a child blessed with autism should know and what others can do to support.

If you have a child with autism or have someone close to you who does, check out the amazing work Jonathan is doing.

Show notes:

• https://www.ascendbehavior.com/
• Jonathan on LinkedIn
• M Chat test

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What is your normal? How do you adjust to a new normals as your family grows or faces unexpected trials? Russel's story is all about thriving in new normals.

You may not know Russel, but you’ll know parts of his story if you’ve seen the movie, Wonder that came out in 2017 starring Julia Roberts and Owen Wilson. Or read the book Wonder that the movie was based on by RJ Palacio. It's about a boy born with Treacher Collins Syndrome (TCS) and his family.

Russel is the real dad of that family. He and his wife Magda have been interviewed over the years by many publications about their uplifting and inspiring story. Magda and Nathaniel, Russel's son with TCS, have each written their own books about this concept of being normal. We’ll link to those in the show notes. What is normal?

And that’s what we’re going to discuss today. Finding or creating Your Family's Normal. Normal is different for each family, and that’s ok. It's up to you to define and create what “normal” means for you. Russel and his family have defined and redefined what normal is for them because of the journey they’re on, not in spite of it. You can too.

Today’s 3 takeaways or Do or Dies are these:

1. Russel talks about the practice and benefit of compartmentalization. For example, having to interview for a job in the hospital lobby while his son was undergoing a major 16 hour surgery. Stress and emotions were high. Compartmentalization is a skill to help you focus on what’s most needed at any given moment.
2. For families with special needs, well in truth anyone because our life can change in an instant, try to find a career or company that has your family’s well-being as an integral part of their corporate culture. Russel shares an inspiring story about true leadership the support he received as a brand new employee when Nathaniel was born and he was running back and forth to the hospital before work, during lunch, and right after work.
3. Russel has 2 sons each with unique capabilities and needs. He shares about the wrestle as a dad to meet the physical and medical needs of his oldest son Nathaniel while not drifting away from his youngest son, Jacob. And on top of that supporting his wife who had stage 4 Hodgkin's lymphoma. He talks about what was more challenging to navigate - the physically brutal medical needs of a child, or the mental and emotional struggles of a child.

I felt totally inspired by my conversation with Russel. Like he’s just a good down to earth guy. One of the best and you’ll love hearing from him. Let’s bring him in.

Show Notes

• Nathaniel's Book: Normal: One Kid's Extraordinary Journey
• Magda's Book: Normal: A Mother and Her Beautiful Son
• Wonder by RJ Palacio
• Wonder the Movie with Julia Roberts, Owen Wilson released in 2017
• Children's Craniofacial Association: https://ccakids.org/
• Russel's contact info:
  • russelnewman@gmail.com
  • Russel on LinkedIn
  • @tcsdad on Instagram

Get involved with NMDD by filling out this form:
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93% of high school athletes don't play sports in college—mostly because they were never asked if they wanted to. Too many dads simply don't know how to prepare their kids for college sports or they get started too late and the options available to their student-athlete suffer as a result. Beyond that, some parents and their student-athletes think they're at a disadvantage because of where they live or their lack of access to sport camps, expensive gyms, and tournaments. That's just not true anymore, thanks to today's guest KC Chhipwadia.

KC is a former NASA engineer and US Navy officer. He started Athlete Foundry to help parents and student-athletes track, build, and communicate their value to collegiate coaches regardless of zip code.

Athlete Foundry, is a veteran-owned, veteran-led EdTech company that provides parents of student athletes in 6th-12th grade (regardless of zip code) a roadmap to build their most comprehensive athumademic resume (that’s combining athletic + human + academic) to improve odds of becoming collegiate athlete, receiving financial assistance and be successful in life after sports. They do it fully online, all year round.

This tech is for devoted parents and their driven middle & high school student athlete. It's a significant competitive advantage.

I wanted to bring him on the show because as dads we often have aspirations for our kids in sports and college and their athletic development and prowess. He’s got a ton experience in this area of helping parents help their student athlete but also the inequities in society and how we can each be part of the solution.

The 3 "Do or Dies" from this episode are:

1. Too many parents wait until their child is in 10th or 11th grade to get serious about collegiate athletics. That sells their kids short. Athlete Foundry has a roadmap that dramatically increases your child’s chances of competing at the collegiate level and it starts in 6th grade with small manageable things totally in your control.
2. For young kids, it’s important to give them a variety of sports and mobile experiences so they can pick a few. Collegiate coaches value a multi-sport athlete.
3. You don’t need extra money and resources to help prepare your kid for collegiate-level sports. Some parents feel discouraged because they aren’t flying all over the country to competitions and meets. Starting early to help develop in your and your child the basic and manageable tactics of a disciplined-athletic life will help prepare our kids to be a successful athlete and for life after sports. You are 100% in control of owning the roadmap, not the coaches, not the special competitions, not athletic advisors.

More about KC
KC worked 20 years as a senior human space flight engineer at NASA, supporting over 50 Space Shuttle missions, including the Space Shuttle Columbia accident investigation in 2003. He’s also served over 20 years, active & reserve combined, in the US Navy as a Surface Warfare Officer, including deployments to Iraq and Afghanistan.

Show Notes

• www.athletefoundry.com
• KC on LinkedIn or email at kc@athletefoundry.com

Get involved with NMDD by filling out this form:
https://forms.gle/AsLqXDvCCAuXDqAA6

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Grief is an emotion we all experience in life. How long it takes to make peace with it depends on us.

And that’s a main theme with today’s guest, Devin Mattson. He’s a real estate investor and founder of Ethik, an ethical sourcing company. He’s a dear friend who has a unique approach to life’s challenges as he lost both his mom and dad to cancer when he was fairly young. He shares how losing his parents has changed how he approaches life such as health, grief, money, and relationships. And beyond that, Devin’s just a really easy person to talk to because he’s totally open, genuine, altruistic, and just gives you a blank check of his time. I think you’re going to enjoy listening to his story.

Today’s 3 takeaways, or as we call them, the Do or Die’s from today’s show are:

1. There are no guarantees you will make it to retirement age with a healthy body or at all. Devin’s father passed in his 50’s. Having a stoic mindset and contemplating your own mortality can be useful to motivate you to do things that truly fulfill you sooner than later. Memento Mori.
2. What is the financial legacy you’re leaving your family? Devin inherited his dad’s 401k and his mother’s life insurance death benefit. While he shares his struggle with what he calls, “blood money” - being a good steward of that money doing good with it has helped him feel like he’s still connected in some way to his parents.
3. In dealing with grief - whether it be a loved one’s passing or an unrealized dream - Devin compares handling trauma and grief to a mortgage - paying interest vs. the principle and its an analogy I think everyone should hear.

Anyone dealing with grief whether from loss or divorce has a blank check of Devin’s time because he’s been there and now pays it forward.

Show notes:

• Devin's LinkedIn
• Ethik (connecting artisan cooperatives worldwide with conscious companies)
• Tuesday's with Morrie book
• Get involved by filling out this form: https://forms.gle/AsLqXDvCCAuXDqAA6

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Ok, today is packed full of dad jokes. Why? Because I love to laugh and laughter has incredible benefits on your health physically and mentally. Try this, the next time you’re angry - just force yourself to laugh from your belly, like super big and goofy, and I guarantee you’re going to feel less angry maybe even completely not angry anymore. It’s amazing.  

But I have a whole routine of dad jokes and I’m going to try to get through this without laughing at myself because I just love dad jokes. Like the quick witted, kind awkward, and dry humor of it all just really does it for me.  

True story, back when I was commuting 45 mins each way to work, I would listen to those first to laugh videos or best dad jokes on YouTube. And over time I committed to memory a repository of dad jokes that I could whip out whenever there was a dull moment in a meeting or waiting in line or whenever. Amazing and borderline useless skill to develop I know. But laughter is an important part of life.  

So anyway, for a talent show at a family reunion last summer, I put together a whole routine of dad jokes. I think they’re hilarious b/c of my dry sense of humor and maybe you’ll get a chuckle or two as well. We’ll find out.  

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If you've ever gotten angry at your kids or if you've ever felt anxiety or helpless about your kids' behavior, then you need to hear this episode.

Kirk Martin is the founder of Celebrate Calm and the Calm Parenting podcast. He has helped almost a million parents and teachers tackle some of the most challenging issues parents face like power-struggles, defiance and disrespect, bullying, sibling fights, de-motivated kids, kids with ADHD and so much more. 

He gives specific concrete strategies that work in everyday situations. And that's what I love about his program and his podcast is he has situations that he describes that I feel are exactly what I face with my four boys. We've applied Kirk's strategies in my house and it has certainly been a positive benefit to us. 

And I could go on and on about Kirk, let me just say this.

If you've ever gotten angry at your kids or if you've ever felt anxiety or helpless about your kids' behavior, then you need to hear what Kirk has to say, because I think it could really change your life. 

Show Notes

• Celebrate Calm website

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Society unfortunately seems to have reduced what it means to “provide” to be merely financial support. If a man is divorced, he must pay child support. And while that totally makes sense there is no additional requirement on how much time he must spend with his children unless he advocates for established visitation rights.

To society, it’s strictly financial. Unfortunately, this legal requirement bleeds into our father-culture. Dads think that so long as I’m bringing in a paycheck, I’m “providing” for my family. When I get home, I can sit on the couch because “my part” is done.

Think again.

We dads need to “provide” so much more than that. Dads are to provide for the physical, spiritual, and emotional needs of their family. If you’re only doing 1 of the 3, then that’s a failing score bro. But don’t worry, we’ve all been there and the content here will help.

Just know this, true providing doesn’t cost you a penny.

Looking back, there were a few things I wished someone had told me about raising a child with a meager paycheck. Here is a quick financial checklist to be aware of as a new dad …and a thought about providing at the end you don’t want to miss.

1. Make sure your child as a Social Security Number – without your child’s SSN, you can’t add them to your health insurance, open a bank account, or apply for government benefits. It usually comes shortly after you applied for your baby’s birth certificate.
2. Add the baby to your Health Insurance fast – be sure to add your son to your health insurance. Most have work through work, so let your HR people know right away as there are usually time deadlines for adding a new baby to your health insurance policy.
3. Buy things second hand – with a new baby you’re going to need more than just diapers, wipes and formula. At a minimum you’ll need a car seat, stroller, high chair, and a crib. The good news is that a lot of people right in your area are wanting to get rid of their baby stuff. Baby furniture and clothes are for sale all the time on Facebook, Nextdoor, or Craigslist marketplaces. While a stigma may exist about buying something second hand—there is no shame in buying something used. In fact, it does more good than just saving you money. It helps someone in your community, and it helps the earth because less waste ends up in our city dumps. We’ve found excellent products slightly used by spending a little time researching. This has saved us thousands of dollars over the years.
4. Get life insurance – once someone depends on you financially, you need to protect their future in case you aren’t there to provide for them. While the chances are rare, you never know when the angels call. You don’t need a lot of coverage, just enough to be a soft landing and while they are growing up. In most cases a 20 or 30 years term life insurance that’s 2-5 times your salary is good enough. If you can’t afford that right now, find a term policy that has a small face amount (like $50,000). Any soft landing is better than nothing.
5. Claim the child tax credit. When you file your taxes, you can claim a child tax credit. This can save you thousands on your taxes each year.

As a new dad, get the basic in place then rethink how you will define "providing" for your family.

Show notes:

• Investopedia: Costs of a child in their first year
• Episode blog article

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Peter Docker, father of 2, is on the show today. He’s served for 25 years in the British Royal Air Force, he has been a Force Commander during combat flying operations and has seen service across the globe. His career has spanned from professional pilot, to leading an aviation training and standards organization, teaching postgraduates at the UK’s Defence College, to flying the British Prime Minister around the world. Peter has also led multibillion-dollar international procurement projects and served as a crisis manager and former international negotiator for the UK Government. He now helps people and organizations accomplish extraordinary things as an international speaker and teacher, having been to 92 countries teaching some of the principles we’re going to talk about today.

This week's Dad Do or Die (3Ds) from this episode are:

1. Build a network for friends/neighbors who can positively influence your kids. Whether that’s extended family, neighbors, Big Brother/Big Sister, All Pro Dads, church, gym, wherever, having a network of other men can be hugely helpful in your kids life. Peter shares about the network of father figures he had growing up after his biological father abandoned him and his brother. Also, how important the network of close friends that he had helped his family when he was serving in the Royal Air Force away on missions during the Gulf War.
2. If you are away from the family for whatever reason, short interactions can be more memorable and impactful than long scheduled nightly calls with the kids. Peter used to only get 15 minutes a week to talk to his family when he was stationed away, luckily we have more than that these days. A simple phone call between meetings or putting the laptop or phone down and giving your child full attention, can boost their confidence and strengthen your relationship.
3. If you are facing a challenge as a parent, think about how you can change the context of the situation. Peter shares a fantastic story about how he approached his son who was adamant about getting a large motorbike, which is high risk with the narrow streets in the UK. He and his wife were opposed but how he changed the context was brilliant. And a spoiler alert - he didn’t just say no.

We cover a lot of other great stories and ideas we can use to be better men, leaders, and fathers. Let’s get to it.

Show notes:

• whynotunlimited.com
• Peter's LinkedIn
• Peter's Twitter
• Peter's Instagram
• Parenthood and Happiness: Effects of Work-Family Reconciliation Policies in 22 OECD Countries

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"Throwing out the animal products is the kindest thing that you can do for your family," says Dr. Neal Barnard, MD.

The leading cause of death for fathers in America is completely avoidable and in most completely reversible - it starts with what you put past your teeth.

In this episode, Dr. Neal Barnard explains why every dad should try a plant-based diet for 3 weeks. Let the results and how you feel physically and mentally do the convincing.

Dr. Barnard has seen many patients reverse diabetes, heart disease, infertility, and hair loss (to name just a few conditions we originally thought were one-way streets) by going plant-based. And the best part is you can eat as much as you want. No more counting calories or carbs. Just simply eat plants and many of your ailments will begin to fade, replaced with renewed vitality. It will feel like you are turning back time.

My family has been on a plant-based diet for about 2 years and feel stronger and more energetic than ever before. It's not a passing diet but a lifestyle that will enable you to live longer and enjoy life.

Show notes:

• Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine
• Your Body in Balance book by Dr. Barnard
• Dr. Barnard on Instagram
• Dr. Barnard on LinkedIn

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You don’t have to look very hard to find examples of men disrespecting women. Just watch the news or listen to the radio or even observe people at the grocery store, unfortunately it’s everywhere! And if we don’t course correct in our homes, our kids will be socialized to believe that disrespecting women is just normal.

The media helps raise awareness about harassment and violence, which is very important. But the media rarely talks about solutions.

Solutions to prevent the problem from even starting in first place.

Solutions that anyone can do right at home, every day. Because, the truth is, if you want to change the future, you need to start in your own home with your own family, right now. No one else is going to do it. It’s up to you. It’s your responsibility. And you're going to feel so good once you start intentionally teaching your boys this!

Listen to learn 4 key strategies you can start doing right away to teach your kids, especially your boys how to respect women. And it can start at any age.

1. Defensive and offensive strategies to protect against harmful media
2. Creating boundaries and respecting your kids' boundaries
3. Talk openly about respect in everyday settings
4. Lead by example

Show notes:

• https://rightawaydad.com/how-to-teach-boys-to-respect-women/

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If you want to get involved and be a guest on the show or sponsor an episode, fill out the form here.

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You probably knew that there's a difference managing and leading at work, but what about in fatherhood? We too often just wing it at home as dads, but intentionally applying leadership principles at home can help us level up our relationships and outcomes within our family.

Today, we've got David Mead on the show. He's an international speaker, author, and an overall student of leadership. He's worked with over 250 organizations around the globe. Companies like Deloitte, Verizon Capitol One. He worked on Simon Sinek's team for over 10 years and helped coauthor the, Find Your Why book about discovering purpose for you and your team. In 2019, he broke out on his own starting Propel, Inc. where he teaches leadership principles.

David shares some simple principles and a leadership model that can help all of us dads level up our leadership skills at home. Things like managing vs. leading, doing vs. being, and 3 H's to live by.

Lots of takeaways in this episode for everybody.

Hope you enjoy.

Show notes:

• https://www.davidjmead.com/
• David's LinkedIn
• Gallup study about driving engagement

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If you want to get involved and be a guest on the show or sponsor an episode, fill out the form here.

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Did you know that 55% of working Americans do not use all of their paid vacation time? That's more than half and that's crazy. Those that did take vacation time, even fewer of them went on a trip with their family.

So today we're going to talk about money management so that you can plan more opportunities to travel with you and your family, because it's incredibly important. And I want you to be on the side that actually does prioritize family vacations, does take paid time off to travel with your family.

We have Kevin Payne on the show today. He is a personal and family finance and travel writer. His work has appeared on websites like Forbes, Investopedia, Credit Karma, FinanceBuzz, MarriageKidsandMoney, and many other sites. That he's contributed to, he writes specifically about how to have freedom to live and freedom to explore by better money management and better money habits. He actually quit his day job about a year ago to write full-time to build up his business and opportunities for more frequent travel with his family. He's the founder of familymoneyadventure.com. He lives in Cleveland , Ohio with his wife and four kids.

And in today's episode, Kevin shares a lot of his advice and tips for traveling with a large family, the best places to get started and family travel using credit card points and hacks. We also address the relationship between suicide and money, which is a topic that Kevin has written about that I think needs more awareness.

Overall today's episode has a ton of great tips for family travel, family finances from years of Kevin's experience writing about it and living it. All right. Let's get to it. Hope you enjoy.

Show notes:

• https://www.familymoneyadventure.com/
• Kevin's LinkedIn
• Instagram
• A Record 768 Million U.S. Vacation Days Went Unused in 2018

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Have you ever gone on a trip without the kids? Usually the first time you go without kids you ask a lot of “What if” questions. What if something happens to me? Who will raise them? What if this plane goes down, who will take care of our home and other assets?

Today’s episode helps answer all those “what if” questions. Cody Barbo, a newly minted father and the CEO and co-founder of Trust & Will goes into why you need an estate plan. Trust & Will makes estate planning simple to do and easy online.

Cody shares what it’s like to be a dad and entrepreneur, the personal journey that led to starting his FinTech company, as well as the importance of estate planning for all families today.

Before talking to him, I was pretty ignorant when it came to estate planning. Like I thought you had to be old, super wealthy, and have a lawyer to get it done. So I never really looked into it. But from talking to Cody and reading a lot on trustandwill.com, I’ve found out that estate planning actually applies to me right now, especially since I have kids.

I actually went through the whole process myself on trustandwill.com. It took about 45-ish minutes to do online, spread over a couple days because I read slowly. You can save and come back to it. Then I got my whole Estate Plan in the mail so I could sign, notarize, and make the whole thing legit and legally binding.

Like most things in life, having a plan gives me confidence and I feel less anxious about my family’s future if the worst should happen. There’s a phrase I was taught early in life which was adapted from an old British army adage and it’s Prior Proper Planning Prevents Pathetically Poor Performance.

If you have kids or a home you should really check out what Cody has to say about estate planning. It will prevent pathetically poor performance when you are gone.

Enjoy!

Show notes:

• https://trustandwill.com/
• Cody Barbo on LinkedIn
• RUFADAA law info (Revised Uniform Fiduciary Access to Digital Assets Act)
• Legacy setting on Facebook
• The Snoo

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We make 35,000 conscious decisions each day on average. That's about 1 decision every 2.5 seconds.

That means we have tens of thousands of opportunities each day to practice good decision making. Marco Lopez, a dear friend of mine and international high performance coach and founder of the World Customer Economic Science, shares his insights about the mechanics of how decision-making applies to fatherhood and in our lives generally.

Months ago I actually went through Marco's online course, MindTuneNow, and loved the principles. Practicing them has made me a more intentional dad. In this episode he shares simple techniques we can use each day in life and fatherhood.

Some techniques he shares are:

• surrounding yourself with good information in order to make good decisions
• choosing to observe our kids rather than reacting and responding immediately
• writing down current thoughts and then analyzing them and replacing them with more useful thoughts.

And he argues that the biggest decision we can make is to listen to our conscience, or inner guidance system as he calls it, so we can calm down our mind and get beyond current limiting beliefs and start living on a higher level.

It really takes a decision to just do it and everything else follows the momentum that comes from making that decision to change.

I think you'll really find useful what Marco has to say.

Get involved with No More Dead Dads by filling out this form here.

Show Notes:

• mindtunenow.com
• Marco's LinkedIn

Music credits:

• It’s Near by DJ Quads

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Money often is the #1 source of stress for dads. Well, actually "money" isn't the source of stress, your mindset about money is.

Dave Lowell, CFP® started Up Your Money Game to help families reshape their wealth mindset and adjust their money habits to align with their life's priorities.

As a young father of 2 graduating from college, Dave realized he needed to learn how to "manage money" and what resulted was his journey into financial coaching.

His work has been featured in Forbes, US News, Yahoo Finance, SmartAsset, and many other financial news outlets.

What I really like about Dave is that while a lot of financial coaches talk about increasing income, he also talks about the other side of it, which is the core values around money, the mindset around money .

He asks clients about their first memory about money and how these early memories and experiences can put us into a particular mindset well into adulthood.

We go through prioritizing your monthly income, saving for the future, getting out of high interest debt and then also we spend a majority of the time talking about the mindset around money, how to teach your kids about money, and honestly, how to share the burden of providing for your family.

And how it needs to be a family affair, not just the father (or mother) shouldering that responsibility alone.

Enjoy!

Get involved with No More Dead Dads by filling out this form here.

Show Notes:

• Dave's LinkedIn
• Regret Minimization Framework
• www.upyourmoneygame.net/moneychallenge

Music credits:

• It’s Near by DJ Quads

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1 in 4 adults in the US suffer from a diagnosable mental disorder according to John Hopkins research, and many adults have more than one mental disorder at a given time. This is why developing mental fitness is vital today. It's a skill that can be practiced and developed at a young age.

Johnny Hanna, serial entrepreneur and father of 8, shares how can you develop strong mental fitness yourself and in your kids. It’s actually simpler than you think and can start at any age.
He gives some easy mental fitness practices that have been working for his family and you can implement them in your family too.

Johnny talks about his journey as a family man while also scaling billion dollar businesses. And he admittedly didn’t always prioritize well. But I love how open and vulnerable he is about challenges and insecurities faced both as a CEO and a young father and how those have led him develop the skills of mental fitness.

You’ll learn how to start developing these skills of honoring boundaries, debunking storytelling, living in truth and how to teach you kids to do the same. He shares some fantastic stories from his family about the benefits of strong mental fitness.

If you want to develop mental fitness in yourself and in your family, check out what Johnny has to say. I think you’ll find it useful.

Enjoy!

Get involved with No More Dead Dads by filling out this form here.

Show Notes:

• Johnny's LinkedIn
• Homie
• Connexions Classroom parenting class

Music credits:

• It’s Near by DJ Quads

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Saying sorry is more than just a handful of words, it’s a life skill. Yet so few of us master it.

Why?

Because saying sorry is hard! It goes against our natural instinct.

Think about where you learned to say sorry… chances are you learned in your home from your parents. How good were they at saying sorry? How often did you hear them say sorry to others? Or to you?

When we fail to teach our kids how to say sorry, we do them a terrible disservice.

It’s true that saying sorry doesn’t come naturally or easily. Rather than treat it like a skill that requires practice and focus, we either awkwardly fumble through it or avoid it altogether.

Then we turn around and try to teach our kids how to do it. We say ridiculous things like, “Go say sorry now! Give each other a hug! There, that’s better.”

Problem solved? Not really…

Here’s how to say sorry the right way:

Step 1. I’m sorry for _______.

What you are sorry for? Just saying, “I’m sorry” isn’t good enough. This is especially important for kids. Admitting what you did is powerful because you have to acknowledge your mistake in your own words. It teaches accountability and ownership.

Also, it’s funny how sometimes we say sorry for something we thought we did wrong, but the person we’re saying sorry to is actually hurt for an entirely different reason.

Kids also learn more quickly not to do it again, because they described exactly what they’re sorry for.

Step 2. Do you want to talk about your feelings?

This gives the other person space to share how they were affected. It also helps us learn to listen.

I can’t tell you how touching it is to hear your kids share their feelings with each other. This helps them learn empathy and that their choices affect other people.

As a dad, it’s your job to model how to do this. That means you need to share your feelings too. This will help your kids practice sharing their feelings with you when they struggle later in life.

Step 3. Do you forgive me?

When you ask for forgiveness, you give the other person a chance to react and respond. Asking for forgiveness has a way of releasing the tension and bringing people together.

Be prepared for a “no” answer too. Sometimes the other person needs some time and that’s ok.

Step 4. What can I do to help?

This puts action into the apology. This is really important for kids to learn so they can practice fixing their mistakes, and not doing them again (hopefully). However, “fixing it” has to be related to the apology. Our kids have tried to use this step to push their chores to someone else. That doesn’t work.

So there you go. 4 easy steps to saying sorry the right way. Again, the steps are:

1. I’m sorry for ______.
2. Do you want to talk about your feelings?
3. Do you forgive me?
4. What can I do to help?

This has worked really well at our house and the steps are simple enough that even our 3 year old can say sorry this way.

It’s important for us dads to say sorry this way too. I have struggled with raising my voice at my kids when they are disrespectful and/or disobedient. Now, if I do that I say sorry this exact same way. It models the behavior we are wanting and they see that even dad does it.

So next time you make a mistake, accidentally hurt someone, or feel regret about something you did to someone, give these 4 easy steps a go. You’ll be amazed and how it can relieve tension in any relationship …right away.

Enjoy!

Get involved with No More Dead Dads by filling out this form here.

Show Note

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Our lives are composed of transformations, most small but some big. For Steven English, he has had several big transformations in his life that occurred a little bit each day.

From obesity to health, alcoholism to sobriety, and from divorce to healing, Steven shares inspiring stories that illustrate it is never too late to make restitution and seek personal redemption.

He gives insights into how he broke the chain of alcoholism in his family and how being courageously imperfect and sharing his journey with his kids has affected them in positive and constructive ways.

An added bonus to the interview is his excellent advice on co-parenting after divorce.

Regardless of your current life situation, we are all going through little transformations and Steven’s example and insights here are useful to each of us in some way.

Enjoy!

Get involved with No More Dead Dads by filling out this form here.

Show Notes:

• Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg
• Atomic Habits by James Clear
• American Journal of Men's Health | Longitudinal Study of Body Mass Index in Young Males and the Transition to Fatherhood
• I Will Teach you to be Rich by Ramit Sethi
• Steven’s website
• Steven’s LinkedIn profile

Music credits:

• It’s Near by DJ Quads

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On any given day, there are nearly 424,000 children in foster care in the United States. 

Today's guest has great experience working with the foster care system and adoption. Over the years, Ricardo Ramos and his wife have fostered 13 kids, mostly toddlers and newborns. Through fostering, he's ended up adopting two kids, and one was finalizing the adoption process at the time of the episode. 

Ricardo goes through his experiences of fostering and adoption, explains how the process works, and debunks typical myths around fostering and adoption.

There is a great need for foster homes. If you're wanting to know more about it or thinking about opening your home to kids in need through the fostering process, you'll want to hear what Ricardo has to say. 

Enjoy!

Get involved with No More Dead Dads by filling out this form here.

Show Notes:

• Connect with Ricardo on Instagram @blackbelly74
• Adoption and Foster Care Analysis and Reporting System 2019 Report

Music credits:

• It’s Near by DJ Quads

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Forgiving someone daily for small things may sound doable but what about forgiving the worst offenses? Like your father abandoning you? How do you make peace regardless of the other person’s actions?

David Lindes, musician, producer and author shares the emotional roller coaster of facing his father’s abandonment. After he became a father himself, David has a life changing experience coming to terms with that abandonment. He then goes on a quest to seek out his father, even hires a private investigator and books a flight to Guatemala to find him.

This is an inspiring story of heartbreak, acceptance, and forgiveness.

He composed a beautiful song about his journey called, “Peace with a Lion,” that is play at the end of the podcast.

Enjoy!

Get involved with No More Dead Dads by filling out this form here.

Show Links:

• www.davidlindes.net
• www.patreon.com/davidlindes/

Music credits:

• It’s Near by DJ Quads

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As a kid, did you watch your dad struggle with his health? Dr. Anthony Balduzzi did. The result was his dad eventually got so sick he died at 42 years young. A father’s premature death due to poor health is unfortunately too common these days.

The experience of losing his own dad to poor health led Dr. A on a mission. From medical school, to competitive bodybuilder, to entrepreneur starting the Fit Father Project, Dr. A is an expert on men's health and nutrition.

And the results speak for themselves. Through his simple and sustainable programs, he’s helped over 30,000 families live longer lives through good health practices—especially men who think they are "too busy" to exercise.

Dr. A’s programs differ from trendy ones today because before you even start exercising his clients write a mission statement. What is your driving purpose to getting and staying healthy? I love that!

If you want to live a longer life, you’ll want to listen to what Dr. A has to say about nutrition.

Health is truly at the foundation of everything we love.

Enjoy!

You can get involved with No More Dead Dads by filling out this form here.

Show Links:

• Fit Father Project Website
• Fit Father Project YouTube Channel
• Fit Father Project Facebook Group
• American Journal of Men's Health | Longitudinal Study of Body Mass Index in Young Males and the Transition to Fatherhood
• 10 exercises you can do with your kids, literally.

Music credits:

• It’s Near by DJ Quads

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10 minutes a day. That’s all it takes to have better behaved children, deeper relationships with your kids, and more time you too. Sound counterintuitive? Sound too good to be true? It's not. Listen to this quick episode to learn:

• Why do our children misbehave?
• A child's fundamental psychological needs of significance and belonging.
• The three ego states: Parent, Adult, Child
• How 10 minutes a day can help create bonds that last a lifetime.

Give this 10 minutes a day experiment a try. After a few days, your child will begin to expect it. They’ll begin to realize that they don’t need to act out because they’ll have that special time with you. You’ll feel amazing too because you’re fulfilling your purpose as a dad.

Everyone wins, right away.

Enjoy!

You can get involved with No More Dead Dads by filling out this form here.

Links:

• Read the full article with more information
• Alfred Adler Institute of Northwestern Washington

Music credits:

• It’s Near by DJ Quads

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What is your definition of success? Are you stuck in the ridiculous race of being "busy all the time" and want to change but aren't sure how? This episode can help.

Fraser Cameron is a sprint athlete from New Zealand, father of 2 and former commercial negotiation consultant turned professional life coach.

Years ago, his son asked him a question that hit Fraser like a ton of bricks. What followed was his journey of self discovery, true identity and purpose.

From quitting his day job to helping men all over the world achieve excellence, Fraser shares the ups and downs and insights to building his successful life. And this is his definition of success: living a life you wouldn’t trade for any other.

Fraser shares the difference between living and surviving, the pitfalls of pursuing perfection vs. excellence, why being “busy” is a ridiculous race to the bottom and questions to help you define your identity, greater purpose, and start living an epic life.

Talking about purpose, he cautions that having your family as your central purpose can actually be dangerous and limiting. That's something I hadn't considered before but very thought provoking.

Enjoy!

You can get involved with No More Dead Dads by filling out this form here.

Show links:

• https://www.frasercameron.com/
• 5 Simple Ways to Enhance Your Performance
• Fraser’s LinkedIn
• Everything is Figureoutable by Marie Forleo

Music credits:

• It's Near by DJ Quads

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Ask yourself this question: how can I be useful? Then start doing whatever constructive idea comes to mind. For Grant, the answer to that question was to start combating fatherlessness.

This episode covers a personal story about fatherlessness and suicide, statistics about the effects of fatherless homes, and a review for what to expect in upcoming episodes.

Listen and leave inspired to help dads everywhere live longer and more intentional lives. We each can contribute to the solution.

To get involved with No More Dead Dads, please fill out this form: https://forms.gle/YRBPudLPkAJh6ayd6

Thanks for listening!

Links to research sources:

• The Statistics of Fatherless Children
• Children in single parent homes by race
• Heart disease stats from CDC
• Suicide rates from CDC
• The Extent of Fatherlessness
• Poverty, Dropouts, Pregnancy, Suicide: What The Numbers Say About Fatherless Kids

Music credits:

• It's Near by DJ Quads
• Eden by Onycs
• Acoustic/Folk Instrumental by David Hyde

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Welcome to No More Dead Dads where we help men live longer and more intentional lives. 

In this podcast, we cover five key areas of fatherhood:

1. your body
2. your money
3. your mind
4. your heart
5. your home

Subscribe to get expert advice from doctors, founders, CEOs, bodybuilders, financial planners, life coaches, as well as inspiring and redemptive stories from adoptive fathers, men whose dads abandoned them, men rebuilding their lives after addiction and many other incredibly vulnerable interviews with guests who share their amazing stories with us. 

Margaret Mead quote: "the supreme test of any civilization is whether or not it can teach men to be good fathers." 

The world. Really your world depends on it. 

We'll publish at least one episode a week.