CALM -- Conversations About Leaving Mormonism: Recent Episodes
PODCAST CALM
Faith Transition Podcast -- We are a support group comprised of people who have stopped believing in the truth claims of the Mormon Church and other high-demand religions. We listen, help and support each other as our ideas about faith evolve. This is a podcast of one of our weekly sessions.
Judith and Boaz continue to delve into the topic of divorce, love and marriage.
Will future generations just not get married? Will the ideal of one lifetime partner go away?
What things can you put up with in a partner and what things are deal breakers?
As a post-mo, would you date a TBM?
If your first date lasts 11 hours, does it count as 3 dates? Hotels have bathrooms, which is why we ended up in the lobby there, just saying...
How do you decide if a person would be a good match for you? Do you have a checklist? What are deal breakers?
Can you tell on a first date if someone is right for you or not? How good are you at reading people, REALLY?
If someone seems TOO good to be true when you're dating, they probably are. Or are they?
Maybe we all think we are good judges of character, but we're really NOT. It takes time.
Don't judge someone based on one comment. Let people PROVE to you who they are. Collect 'data points' about them over time.
Listen to Judith's and Boaz' possible first argument ever as they discuss whether or not Judith did in fact call Boaz 'Prince Charming' when they were dating.
Judith and Boaz get personal and discuss divorce, love and marriage. What happens when you marry right off your mission? In the church, is having sex before marriage worse than marrying the wrong person and being in a bad marriage? Does our society place an unrealistic value on marriage? (at all costs?) When is it time to admit it's over? How to divorce your spouse and still remain friends. Is it really better to stay together for the kids? How to put the kids first when a marriage ends. The overarching consideration in every decision you make during divorce is what's best for the kids. Remember you chose this - they didn't. Realize what you say in anger is not going to be useful; it's not going to make you feel better. There's not even a venting benefit to responding in anger because all it does it make the other person escalate. Vent to friends, family, therapist instead. Remember that you won't always feel angry and bitter, but you will always have the memory of how you handled it. The only thing you can control is how you respond. Divorce is going to be painful no matter what. Give the other person some grace. Don't exaggerate their faults. It's ok to acknowledge the good even if it didn't work out.
Post-mo singles reflect on their views of love then and now.
What influenced our ideas of romantic love growing up? The Church? Walt Disney? Society?
Relationships can't be one-sided.
Expecting validation from other people.
Putting the partner on a pedestal or losing your identify.
Learning emotional self-control and emotional maturity.
Remembering when you would think of personalized proposal ideas on the 4th date...
We're all train wrecks -- who's train wreck do you want to help put back together?
Where to find a partner? Wait for friends and family to recommend someone? Online dating?
Finding someone who's on your level.
Trying your best to make your partner happy without losing yourself.
Support the person, walk next to them without pushing, pulling or dragging.
Singles wards didn't teach us how to love --it was just a bunch of peacocks trying to find a mate.
Church tries to put people in boxes where they don't fit.
How online dating is like buying a laptop.
The no-pressure method of progressing through dating levels.
Learning to be up-front and honest about who you are and what you think, from the very beginning of a relationship.
What does agape love and service to others look like now? Do you do your profession for free to others? Unconditional love -- give it freely without expecting anything back. But take care of yourself. Does it start with loving yourself? We all need validation from others. How's your inner child? What do you do when families on earth are not so good to you? Is it ok to quit your family? Do we need to step back sometimes in order to heal ourselves? Is it ok to ask for help? More comments on quitting the Movers' Quorum.
Recorded on Valentine's Day, we had to talk about love. Good love, bad love, Agape love... (look it up). Funny tattoo stories, moving stories, and good and bad bishop's interviews.
What do you remember about sexism and bias in the church? Members briefly discuss and agree to delve into more at a future date.
To read the transcript, please go to https://www.podcastcalm.com/blog
Why are people terrified of facing themselves? What causes us to feel alone and empty? Letting Go can lower your blood pressure! What are your core beliefs? Is it OK to put yourself first? Is it manipulative to try to present yourself a certain way to people? Rees expresses himself through reading his own work: "I've Got A Poem in My Pocket." It's awesome! How expressing your true self is better than bearing a testimony!
To read the transcript, please go to https://www.podcastcalm.com/blog
How do we let go of the toxic parts of family relationships? What kind of activities do you use to escape from your feelings? Is it healthy?
To read the transcript, please go to https://www.podcastcalm.com/blog
How do you recognize your feelings and let them go appropriately? How are pent up feelings like a volcano? How can expressing them inappropriately backfire? What was the church/social culture around feelings? Were you ever pressured to bear your 'testimony'?
To read the transcript, please go to https://www.podcastcalm.com/blog
How do we let go of negative experiences and emotions in our lives? The group discusses Chapter 1 of the book 'Letting Go' by David R. Hawkins.
To read the transcript, please go to https://www.podcastcalm.com/blog
What is Post-Mo dating like? Is there a Mormon Tinder? What does the Wizard of Oz have in common with the church? When you were little, did you break your bread into small pieces and pretend it was the sacrament? How can a crab make you cry? These questions and more... Heads up: Sexuality in general is discussed.
To read the transcript, please go to https://www.podcastcalm.com/blog
In this episode, we discuss how our relationships with friends have changed since leaving the church. We also speculate about Joseph Smith's relationships with family members and how that affected history.
To read the transcript, please go to https://www.podcastcalm.com/blog
In this episode, members share how they told family and friends about their faith transition, and discuss what worked and what didn't. Don't miss the soul-wrenching poem near the end!
To read the transcript, please go to https://www.podcastcalm.com/blog
In this episode, members discuss how they told family and friends about their faith crisis.
To read the transcript, please go to https://www.podcastcalm.com/blog
Members discuss how learning the truth made them feel, and how their lives might have been different if they had known earlier. Conditions surrounding the 'Special Events Pass' are discussed.
To read the transcript, please go to https://www.podcastcalm.com/blog
In this episode, members discuss items that broke their faith 'shelf', how it made them feel, and how they feel today.
To read the transcript, please go to https://www.podcastcalm.com/blog
In this episode, members discuss items that broke their faith 'shelf', how it made them feel, and how they feel today. Trigger Warning: Account of past suicide ideation.
To read the transcript, please go to https://www.podcastcalm.com/blog
In this episode, members discuss the things that broke their shelf, how that made them feel, and how it affected their worldview.
To read the transcript, please go to https://www.podcastcalm.com/blog