here we are today: Recent Episodes
Betsy (Crouch) Guadagno
The "one take-no edits-almost daily" podcast. A validation of the joys and challenges of the human experience in an ever shifting and transforming world. From coach, student, teacher, Betsy (Crouch) Guadagno. Compassion. Encouragement. Stories. Lessons. Questions. Here we are today. Let's take it one step at a time.
What is in the brown bag? The question that has been nagging us for the last two years! We finally found out and it is not what you expected!
Practicing listening with fresh ears and being willing to change… exploring flexibility and playfulness… could be a blessing in the skies. Sending love to you!
Do you ever see someone that looks familiar from your past? How do you handle it? Do you hide and regret it? Are you relieved? Do you approach? What is made possible when we step in to connection? Who are they now? Who are you now?
Ooh daylights savings starting the week feeling a little off:( sending love! And reflecting on the types of social connection and experience we yearn for and being intentional about investing in those relationships. Sending you a big hug today!
So many factors influence our experience. When it comes to burnout often we thing that we are wrong, or doing something wrong to feel overwhelmed and run down. Let’s take a step back and look at it from some different perspectives. Sending you so much love today!
The reassurance and delight of getting invited to play at the “playground,” as the new person, never gets old. How are you welcoming others into your communities? Where do you want to explore your vulnerability and curiosity as the new person? Let’s get together and play.
Sometimes the first time is a charm, sometimes it is the 100th. To me the charm and the magic is the truth, the raw, real, authentic version, the one with zest. What about you?
Eliminating the word complaining shows us what we are really saying and feeling. Are you practicing? What have you discovered?
After two episodes on complaining I’m not sure the value of keeping the word or concept of complaining in my language or life repertoire. It invalidates and gaslights true dissatisfaction. When is it beneficial to call someone a complainer or to criticize complaining? If we can think of situations then let’s use other words to describe the attitude or behavior we are referring to. Otherwise we perpetuate the oppression our own and others’ feelings and experience.
How do you define complaining? How do you feel about it? The concept of complaining and how we define could be supporting or hindering authentic intimacy.. say more!! This may be more than one episode. What can we learn from how we relate to this concept and one another? Hopefully a heightened awareness and setting intentions about what it means to you.
I don’t know better than you! However it is tempting and common in this culture to judge one another’s behavior. Our lives are complex, and we would do well to acknowledge that complexity and give each other some compassion and understanding.
Here we are today! How are you feeling? What can you do to care for yourself today? Something simple… a couple deep breaths? A glass of water? Sending love to you!
Follow up on the intention I set in episode 5, and the importance of compassion to moving in the direction of your values.
What is the pace of your day? How is it working for you? I learned something about myself.. very slowly over the last 8 years, that although I can relax, I don’t often do so easily at home (surprise emoji). What about you? What I learned is helping me practice living in alignment with my values. One small practice at a time.
How is your weather? How is it effecting you? What is it reflecting within you? Our environment effects us and we are apart of nature... and we are all experiencing different weather and experiencing weather differently (wide eye emoji). Sending love to you!
The darkness of winter may be a cause for feeling low and it might be a window, an invitation to look at and process our grief. Some grief is based on a specific or acute loss, and sometimes it is a bit more generalized. What is your experience of grief? How might we tether ourselves to one another in our grief? Sending love to you!!
Feeling what is instead of racing to meaning making, action, or avoidance. When we feel what is, we change. Who are you then?
Kicking off the year with a collective vision board, and one of my intentions is to cultivate connection and community. One thing I know I need to do is challenge social norms. Are you with me? We need each other!
Do you procrastinate? In what area? Or, do you judge procrastinators? Let's rewind and see where you can give yourself (and others) some compassion and curiosity around your own unique process.
Let's have curiosity and compassion around the seedlings of our desires. What is obvious to others is not always obvious to us. Even when it is clear what we desire, the idea of creating or asking for what we desire may feel like a foreign concept. Be gentle with yourself.
Recently I realized just how often I use visualization as a tool to build my confidence and calm anxiety. I learned about visualization as an athlete many years ago, and have applied it to several areas of life. What situations, environments, relationships bring up anxiety? Walk through in your minds eye what a positive or successful experience looks like. Replay this in your mind to build confidence. Sending love to you!
Do you ever stress yourself out to do something fast or by a certain time and it makes the experience harder or less enjoyable? Maybe something that you have control over? I.e. not a deadline imposed by others… maybe let’s experiment to allow thing to take the time it takes.. consequences or benefits, and all. What could we learn?
I am on the cusp of solving the mystery!! And reflecting on my social style, which vascilates between awkwardness and smooth comfort.. what is your style? Let's validate our feelings about social experiences. They can be tough and awkward, and with the right people and community the vulnerability is so worth it. We are meant to be together! When it comes to solving this mystery I wonder what will emerge from my social style, and how I will ask... "what's in the bag?"
Well here we are today, one year after the first day I decided to do this show. My intention was to do a daily podcast and I allowed that intention to evolve as I experimented and did it! So it is an “almost” daily podcast that I did 46% of the days of the year! Some would say this is a bad grade (hehe!) and I say this practice has been in alignment with my values and purpose. What do you want to start doing today? Take it one step at a time!
How might the way we simplify and label things / people be limiting? Let’s see and celebrate the magic and complexity of who we are. And have you ever seen a magnified image of your eye / iris? Wow! You are magical and complex!!
Sometimes we are ready to be honest with ourselves and sometimes we aren’t. Here are some thoughts on gentleness with wherever we are, and the value of connecting with how we truly feel, whether or not we are ready to make a decision.
Questioning everything feels overwhelming, let’s do that though, just not all at once! There are some things we don’t see as a choice and what if we did? We might be able to recommit and reconnect with our deepest values and essence and rekindle great meaning. Or we might realize that we yearn for a change and then give ourselves permission to explore the possibilities. Your life is precious, let’s practice making choices with our “today” selves to bring our greatest presence, truth, and power. Sending love to you!
In what areas of life are you decisive? When you know how you feel about something decisiveness can feel effortless, the challenge is often knowing how you feel. Here are some thoughts on decisiveness! Challenge the assumption that decisiveness is the best! My challenge to you is to practice a decision-making process that supports bringing your life into alignment with your values, and finding the timing of making decisions that is most appropriate for you and the relationships and agreements you are committed to.
When you are not able to make a decision, or "not yet" make a decision, do you label it "indecision"? Indecision has such a negative connotation and when we label ourselves or others that way it can serve to demean, invalidate and harm. There are many understandable reasons to not be ready to make a decision, I wonder what would happen if you gave yourself some compassion and curiosity around your process. There is so much magic that can emerge when we are curious. What if the people listed as "indecisive" are some of the most important people to honor their process and their information? What is made possible when we change our perspective about indecisiveness?
What decisions of other people do you judge? There is a lot we can learn about ourselves in this question. Also, I think it is important to acknowledge that we make a lot of assumptions about the decisions other people make, or that they are decisions at all. Finally, when someone expresses their essential self to you, even in a glimmer, that is our invitation to encourage, acknowledge, get curious, and love. Let's be a gardener for one another's seedlings of life force energy.
The values we prioritize in one area of life can often be vastly different in other areas of life. Maybe you like thrill-seeking adventures in your personal life and at work you want something calm and steady, for example! Knowing what factors and values are important to us is incredibly grounding and confidence building in the decision making process. Send me an email for the exercise I discuss in this episode, betsy@sizzleconsultingllc.com
How many decisions do we make in a day? Phew! In this episode I explore a few common daily areas of decisions (and stress!). What daily decisions cause you the most stress? How might you plan, prepare or make blanket decisions to minimize that stress?
Part 3 of "good or bad decision" series on decision-making! Sometimes the impetus to making a decision is internal.. going after your dream job/home location etc., or leaving a dissatisfying relationship or job. In this episode I share a way of thinking about these states that miiiight provide you with greater ease and space around making (or not making!) a decision. Sending so much love to you.. life is complex, please go easy on yourself.
Part 2 of "good or bad decision" on decision-making! Sometimes the impetus to making a decision is external (fired, or offered a job) and sometimes the impetus is internal (dissatisfied with job or choose to go after dream job). Then there is timing, do you need to make a decision in a certain time-frame or are you the one that needs to decide that too?? In this episode I give an example of how one might think about or navigate an externally influenced decision with set longer term timing. Even if you aren't facing something like this.. you might learn something about yourself! Be gentle, life is full of decisions and there are so many factors involved.
Are you a good at decision-making? There are many external factors effecting our decisions, and there are many choices under our control. We are constantly making decisions. What is the story you tell about your decisions / choices in life? Join me in exploring decision-making in an effort to help you build confidence as a decision-maker and to bring your life into greater alignment with your values.
I realized that I wasn’t doing episodes when I was traveling and I wanted to! How do you relate to yourself when you realize you aren’t making choices in alignment with your values? How might you give yourself more compassion and curiosity to make incremental changes in the direction of your values/yearnings?
When we say "yes" to going for it, it may work out how we expected and it may be totally different. Let's listen to the invitation from nature to be with what is, and what is yearning to emerge. Be gentle with yourself. Sending you lots of love!
Ever feel like you are reliving your first day of school through young people you love? Ahhh! I’m feeling it all. Let’s have compassion for ourselves and acknowledge our experience, to create space, love, and distinction from for our loved ones’ experiences. Exhale!:)
Today I am appreciating my enthusiasm and questioning our assumption that interruptions are bad.. sometimes they are wonderful and inspiring and connect us to all. When do you notice your enthusiasm emerging? How might we celebrate our enthusiasms and allow them to weave through our lives? And.. more peanut sauce content! hehehe!
We have a question from Kevin about how to give a memorable presentation, and I get to share some of my experience teaching and working with hundreds of executives and teams in silicon valley. Hear my top questions for Kevin (and for you if you have a presentation) and what I love about building relationship with an audience. Wishing you well on your next presentation! Do you have a question? submit to www.anchor.fm/betsy-crouch/messages
I did this episode while streaming to Instagram live.. the experiment continues. How might we create expansion and openness when we engage with clients and customers instead of trying to “capture” them? Plus more reflections on “festooning”!
Sharing insights and reflections on the experiment of this podcast and my encouragement to us moving forward. In addition to “what have I learned?” I share the curiosity and wonder I have for where this is going. Saying yes to the mystery and taking one step at a time, together, each in our own ways. Sending you love!
What is your relationship with anger? I got mad today and it made me think about my relationship with anger and how we might find a path forward that integrates feeling anger as a natural emotion and allowing righteous anger to fuel positive action in alignment with our values. Sending you lots of love!
I recently articulated a mental/emotional tool I have used in my life, to support myself through the lows of life and to celebrate the high points. There are many versions of you throughout this life, we will have ups and downs and we will experience a lot of change. I believe that there are many benevolent, loving and generous versions of you throughout your life. Allow them (you) to love and support you, and to remind you to savor the beautiful moments and to hold love and a healing vision for you at your lowest. Sending you so much love!
How do we want to be in the "space in between"? Have you ever given 2 weeks notice? How did those two weeks feel? Or broken up with someone and still lived with them for a bit? Other "space in between" times in life last longer. How might you give yourself permission to feel how you feel? Listen to what you want and need? Finally, how are these times beautiful or even rejuvenating? Sending you lots of love!
Do you walk away from a meeting or conversations saying “why did I say that”? Why didn’t I say this? I reflect a lot and at times it becomes rumination. Practicing living into your values is vulnerable. Mistakes and missteps are part of the learning. Thank you for your courage to take risks and serve your purpose.
in the spirit of coming into present time I updated all my names on social media today. What are the parts of your essential self that you love? What have you resisted? How can you make more space to be fully you? What needs to be brought into present time? Head to @hibetsybeez on IG to see photos for this episode, as well as an opportunity to send questions or comments about the podcast! I would love to hear from you!
Have you lived with roommates/housemates? What was the most valuable and formative part of that experience? I reflect on the many roommates I have lived with in my life and the special opportunity that type of relationship provides. An increasing number of adults in the US live with roommates. Let's celebrate and honor what is made possible in these arrangements and challenge the expectations we have around how we live.
how might we practice treating one another with greater empathy and humanity? how might we create opportunities for repair, healing and education with our friends, family and communities? I recently watched the documentary "15 minutes of shame" and it really got me thinking and my heart stirring. So much to think about and reflect on. Sending so much love to you!
This morning didn’t go as planned.. often this is the case. When and where in your life does it feel appropriate to try to influence or control an unexpected situation? When might it be helpful to “ride it out” and be with what is?
My mind races much of the time, and I practice earnestly to be present. When I am captivated I am able to fully immerse in the moment, and I am grateful for those experiences! What captivates you?
For years I thought I had total control over my results in business, and took personal responsibility for success and failure. I worked incredibly hard and my body broke down, the way I was living and working was unsustainable. Over the years I have connected with and cultivated communication with my voice, my intuition, and an awareness of the rhythms of my collaboration and work with others. This information has strongly influenced the ways I make decisions about work and the timing of projects. For example, I created an entire podcast in early 2021 and never released it. It can be painful, scary, and frustrating to let go of control. Sometimes the information I get is that the timing isn't right, or put another way, the timing isn't appropriate. I was reminded of this lesson in a small way this week. The gift is getting into alignment and living and working in a way that is energizing, satisfying, impactful, and in deep alignment with my purpose. Let's listen to our information, and take one step at a time closer to our center.
When someone cries how do you respond? Let's practice being with / witnessing one another's pain. Feeling isn't failure, it is part of the human experience. When we witness and acknowledge one another's pain we are transformed. We need this now more than ever before. Sending love to you!
Is there a type of relationship you are proud of how you show up? Let's honor and celebrate what we are doing well and how we love and support others well. What can we learn from our strengths? Let's do more of this today. Sending love to you!
For much of my young adult life (I include my 30s!) I had little patience for several adulting categories (cleaning/responsible maintenance etc.). Yesterday I completed a task that I planned for weeks and I was successful and so happy! Let's say hello to the times when we have patience and those times when we don't. How might we give ourselves permission to explore and be curious about the steps towards creating or experiencing something instead of hastily doing it with no preparation (maybe not your style) or shutting down with overwhelm considering the 100 steps it takes to get there? What if this practice is key to gradually aligning our experiences with our deepest values? Bonus: if you always prepare well for everything, pick something with low risk/consequences and be hasty and messy with it!
What locations/places bring up a lot of emotion/memories in you when you visit them? How do we relate to place? What can we learn about ourselves from these feelings and memories? How do we remain present with so much emotion moving through?
Sending lots of love to you!
Learning from our patterns, habits and ways of being and seeing through a late night glass breaking experience. Lots of love to you!
Welcome to the "Here we are today" podcast experiment! In this episode I explain this project, why I am doing it and share my encouragement to you. If you have been here I share some new stories, and if you are new, welcome. Thank you for being here. One step at a time everyone. Sending lots of love to you! (available on Spotify and Apple podcasts)
When and where are you using your imagination? Let’s acknowledge and question the limits of the imagination we have inherited. Listen to “On Being” with guest adrienne maree brown.
To solve our greatest problems how might we approach it? When is it appropriate to step in? Step back? Let’s try on new ways of being. We are in this together. This episode is dedicated to a childhood buddy of mine, Rusty Saghy, on what would be his 44th birthday, we climbed many trees and had many adventures together. RIP
We are all working hard to navigate life. How might we find more ease, grace, and gentleness with one another during our daily interactions?
What are your healing gifts? Big question! Let’s explore together and notice how we validate or invalidate that which makes us powerful healers.
I reflect on how we perpetuate harm in sports and business through “hazing” and harshness. How might we break the cycle to bring our the best in one another, especially when we are different? And it is Juneteenth observed today, celebrate and honor black joy! Participate in reparations and mutual aid! Order/read/process “Heal your way forward” by Myisha T. Hill!
Today I am joined by my favorite people on the planet and cherishing these moments together! They have made me a better person and definitely the parent I am today. Thank you for being you, you are special and magical angels. Sending love to you now and always!
Did you ever have an experience at home or at work they was upsetting and you used the phrase, “I’m letting it get to me”? Let’s talk about it.
Particularly with an anxious attachment style, we fill in the gaps of a communication/relationship/story with our fears and insecurities. Even without this attachment style it is natural and often helpful to fill in the gaps of communication with educated guesses. Sometimes we are off, way off. Let's notice our experience around this!
Today I share some thoughts about a few things leftover from episodes this week. Sending you lots of love!
Whoa this 42 minutes snuck up on me! I missed you and was reflecting on the ways we process and make sense of our lives.. journaling? Talking? Art? And many more? How do we get to know ourselves fully? What are the ways we create space to be ourselves? Or the opposite? Sending love to you wherever you are!
This episode is a windy road folks! Heading into a long weekend I reflect on the ways we are in or out of alignment with ourself and others. Say yes to what is stirring in you!
What is our role in creating a future of peace, connection, and belonging, beyond horrific violence? Sitting with the pain of the massacre in Texas, and reflecting on my/our response. Sending love to you today.
How familiar are you with world geography? Why? Why not? Let’s get more curious about our cousins of the world. We are all connected!
Reflecting on the spectrum of approaches to asking for what we desire, from a well planned sales-pitch to an open, curious, and vulnerable request. What muscles have you developed in your life around this? Do you want to experiment with new approaches? Here's to the ways we have adapted to meet our needs in our life. And here's to finding the win-win with our loved ones and communities!
How do you respond when your loved one is hurt? How can we create space for our own feelings and processing? Let’s validate our feelings and experience, and let’s validate their experience. Sending love to you!
Your voice is a powerful instrument. What is your level of permission to express your voice? How does that relate to how you treat others' expressing their voices? The healing possibilities of allowing our voices to be heard is huge. And when someone sings.. encourage them.
Sometimes we want to learn something or change a behavior, and we expect to be able to do it right away. Your are nature! The process of learning, particularly personal growth and leadership development, is not linear. Give yourself patience, space, curiosity, and compassion.
Feeling the disappointment. Honoring yourself and your values. In addition to holding responsible parties accountable. Sending love to you today!
Noticing when we practice behavior change vs. getting ourselves into alignment with values and purpose and noticing behaviors emerge. Sending you love today!
Reflecting on basketball, one of my first loves.. and how big a part of my identity it was for so many years. What did you love? What identities have you left behind? What do you miss? What don’t you miss? What are you grateful for about that experience? This episode is dedicated to Howard Soifer, go green!:)
The conclusion of one of the mysteries in the neighborhood! Why did the vandal do it? Where do we go from here?
Where in your life do you honor the natural rhythm and process of life? What might be the benefit and gifts of doing so?
What if we had a spirit of abundance around giving validation, celebration and awards instead of competition and scarcity? I encourage you to give more awards and celebration.. starting with you! :)
Appreciating the power of acknowledging and witnessing one another. Let's create more space for empathy. Sending love to you!
Sending love to you all. Book referenced: The Quaking of America, by Resmaa Menakem, Patreon: Sonya Renee Taylor.
Go back to part 1 if you haven’t listened to the whole series:) We confront the vandal, and find out.. did they know that was our car? or not?
The joy and pain of our relationship to out bodies through dance and movement. I invite you to move how you move. Sending you love!
Hello team! Sending so much love to you on this powerful and auspicious day! Let's notice how and when we are pushing ourselves to perform and beyond the vulnerability appropriate for the situation. And let's name things/experiences/habits/places in a way that is in alignment with our truth, our hearts, where we are, and where we are headed. Happy 2sDAY!
Now that we know who the vandal is we need to confront them, but we don't know if they know that is our car or not. Are they targeting us? Right when we are considering what to do, the vandal takes it to another level.
I got to go to one of my favorite places today! The Hazardous Waste drop off! Seriously. Not everyone loves what you love or what I love.. however when you enjoy something quirky or unique, fully enjoy it!
This week I worked with many clients on practicing what they want to say and how they want to say it, at home, work, and more. Sometimes rehearsing saying how you feel, or what you need and desire, can give you the confidence to do it, coming into deeper alignment with your values and authenticity.
Part 2 of a neighborhood vandalism saga, who is vandalizing our car repeatedly? And why? Join me on this mystery-solving journey!
I did yoga for the first time in a while. Today I reflect on the mindset and practice that has helped me enjoy revisiting physical activities after times of taking a rest or break. How might we allow our bodies to be as they are -- today, instead of invalidating and comparing to the past. What gifts emerge when we are in the moment?
Let's say hello to curiosity! brown paper bags, a car getting egged, and a parking tow notice, what does it all mean? Come along on a multi-part episode story of solving a mystery in the neighborhood, where truth is stranger than fiction!
Oh wowie, more medical musings! I had caffeine and sugar and I get on a rolllllll. If you don't like medical musings wait until the next episode - hehehe! All in all, I ask the question, when and how do you attend to your pain? What do you need now? Sending you lots of love!
Did you ever have a snow day as a kid? The world seemed to pause and pick up the next day where it left off. When do you experience a full pause without concern of missing anything or getting behind? What is made possible if collectively we decide to have a snow day, or hour or 10 minutes? What insights, information, inspiration, might emerge to help us connect with our deepest humanity and build a future that works for everyone?
Wow, 2-2-22 what a day! As we launch into the new lunar year, let's take stock... what are the areas you feel that you are experiencing groundhog's day, a repeated pattern that you would like to shift? Let's approach this with compassion and curiosity, which for me have served as the beginnings of an exit ramp from a pattern. Sending you lots of love! And.. Happy Birthday Mary Randall Marchese!
Pickles, origins of words and phrases, and the power of metaphor to learn about ourselves and our lives. One podcast pickle only please!
there are big and small ways we are limited in our ability to minimize the pain and suffering of others. How do we witness pain in those whom we love? How do we witness our own pain?
Sometimes when a relationship or community or situation doesn't feel right we think there is something wrong with us. It may just not be a fit. Listen to your body. When we can accept and honor the truth (not easy!) we liberate ourselves. I did that recently and today felt some new lightness, joy and energy. Also, I had fun playing wordle, that helps!
"To truly and freely grieve as an entire people can revive an entire culture just as much as it can bring back to life an individual." Martín Prechtel, author The smell of rain on dust. Let's learn to honor our grief in ourselves and one another. To purchase this book from Kina Reed's bookshop: https://bookshop.org/books/the-smell-of-rain-on-dust-grief-and-praise/9781583949399
Listen to your voice and heart about how to live and to be. Let those ideas live, you don't have to decide yet. You don't have to have it all figured out. One day at a time. Sending you so much love.
how about we close our eyes, go inward. Explore your heart and information. Visit restful and rejuvenating places through visualization.
When do you take on great challenges to prove you can do it? Maybe now isn't the time for that? Why not take the simple route when we have a choice?
If you can rest, rest. How often do you feel the urge to "be productive"? Let's reflect on our relationship to productivity.
have compassion for yourself. consider giving yourself permission to consider simplifying your life.
Getting back into the year can feel mushy. I share thoughts about zoom, wasteful meetings, and how to be true to ourselves, while icing my arm. Happy Friday! :)
Heading into a new year can feel overwhelming because of the pressure to make a "plan" for everything. Let's question this assumption, and explore what feels right for you!
Getting back to the swing of things and feeling overwhelmed? How might you show gentleness to yourself this week? What kind of soup will you eat? :) immieats.com is the plant based instant ramen I reference.
Kicking off the year strong with sending some returns in the mail, FedEx, UPS, AND USPS, boom! Also, some thoughts on routine and learning to kick off the year. Sending you many well wishes!
Heading in to the New Year can bring up all sorts of feelings. Validate your feelings. There may be an opportunity to create a new relationship to the New Year, if that feels appropriate for you, if it does, start with asking different questions.
What would you like to experience more of? Less of? Maybe we aren't meant to be at a 10 in all areas of life at the same time. We move through seasons. What season is this for you? What is appropriate for you now? How might you say "yes," to what is yearning to emerge?
As we bring 2021 to a close, I share my perspective on intentions vs. resolutions. And this might not be a year to put pressure on yourself, it might be a year of patience, compassion, gentleness and understanding. Ask yourself. Wishing you more space, knowledge and expression of you in 2022, in any area, in any amount. Sending you love!
Receiving a box of pears from my aunt this year was meaningful, and brought up an old memory of my "coming out" Christmas 13 years ago that I share in this episode. When it is all said and done, you are whole, beautiful and wonderful, exactly how you are. Here's to holding our pain gently and lovingly. Here's to creating friend and family environments which honor and celebrate our authenticity, identity, expression and love.
Our life is made up of some highs and some lows and many in-betweens. How might we sho up to our daily activities with gratitude and presence? When we aren't able to.. let's give ourselves some grace.
Curve balls galore! Are things not going as planned for you? Sending you well wishes for practicing giving yourself space to let off steam with intention to support your well-being.
What habits and practices provide you with deep comfort and support? Let's do it! I am focusing on drinking water, movement each day, and a warm bath here and there. This is the darkest time of the year, let's snuggle up and through it :)
I love problem solving and getting things done on my own. I also love collaboration and being on a team! When I set out to do something on my own and show myself I can do it, and then I realize I can't, it can be hard for me to work through who to ask for help and how to do it. Do you relate? Let's help each other.
This time of year can be overwhelming for some of us. What if you didn't have to "decide" how you felt and instead felt it all? How might you create some gentleness and space over the next two weeks for yourself? Winter break babay!
honoring bell hooks today and all days. Thank you thank you thank you. What is love? I recommend reading "all about love." And then I go into creativity and our relationship to our expression. How might you take one baby step today to express yourself today?
As I launch into celebrating my 7th "carversary" with luna my prius c, we journey through the winding road of my history with cars, some learning, some growing, and some interruptions in between.
Rain boots, rain jacket, umbrella, and a rain-jacket for my dog! I went out in the rain prepared yesterday, and realized how far I have come from the days of no hat, no glove, no boots days in winter as a young adult. Celebrating the times we prepare and care for ourselves, and giving compassion for all the times we weren't aware.
Many of us make expressive or emotional noises or sounds on our own or with others. Your voice has information for you. Your voice can help you process and release. When and where might you explore what is yearning to emerge? Follow your voice.
Bing, bing, bing! I'm a little all over the place tonight.. a little about pizza and tattoos. Then I acknowledge that relationship with food can be painful and distressing for many people, particularly at this time of year. Let's give ourselves some love and compassion and remember what Sonya Renee Taylor says "the body is not an apology." Sending love to you!
How we make meaning out of the mystery of life is fascinating to me. Today I encourage you to reflect on the meaning you make in your life. Let's be curious:) also I share a fun confluence of events on 2/4/2004. Where were you that day?
How do you define the success of your work? Separating our identity from our work can be hard for some people, and it has been hard for me in my life. How might you turn up the volume on your own definition of success?
Sometimes we want to make things more complicated, to add bells and whistles because we think that will make our work or our life better. Will it? What I am learning now during the darkest time of the year, and in the middle of a move.. keep it simple, be you.
I did an episode in the middle of moving, and while setting up a whole new tech system. Here is the real deal, sketchy audio and low energy. It's not all sunshine and rainbows folks. Sending love to you!
I'm moving tomorrow and have a lot on my plate. Reflecting on how I approach these seasons. Are you digging deep for more energy? Are you tired? How might we give ourselves compassion and gentleness during these seasons, and approach them with intention?
Whoa by chance it is my parents 52nd anniversary and this is the 52nd episode -- boom! Happy anniversary Mom and Dad I love you! Today he and I talked about new technologies and how we can use them to learn, explore, and connect. So tonight I reflect on my dad's early adoption of technology throughout my life.
Many years ago, today, I played my last college soccer game, in the finals of the national tournament, and it was one of the most beautiful experiences of sports, collaboration, and teamwork I have ever experienced. When I was a young person I was hyper-competitive and I squirmed when someone would say "it isn't about winning and losing it's how you play the game," because I wanted to win! My identity and self-worth depended on it. I definitely believed in good sportspersonship and appreciating opponents, but losing was devastating. Over time, and with the help of many amazing teammates and coaches, I loosened my grip, opened my heart, and discovered a new level of purpose and opportunity. What are the gifts of competition? What is more important than winning? How do you define success?
Dedicated to the 1999 University of Michigan Women's Club Soccer Team. "My love is your love" by Whitney Houston, we sang before every game. I love you! (My teammates and coaches: Bloopity, Lynn, Lyndsay, Jill, Shannon, Kris, Katie, Katie, Shelley, Lauren, Leslie, Marcie, Kyle, Devney, Anna, Mary, Holly, Laura, Jess, Sonia, Ashley, Mike, and Chris)
We let go of something and then it pops back up. What is the gift and the opportunity in that moment? Ask yourself, is there something more to learn, experience, appreciate, explore?
have you ever recognized something, processed it for the first time, after "seeing" it a hundred times? It is a curious phenomenon. Look around your environment, soak it in. I am grateful any time I get to see something with new eyes.
This Thanksgiving I am sitting with creating space for multiple and complex emotions. Let's build our muscle for holding and honoring the truth, and the "both, and" of our feelings about it.
We have the power to plant seeds of love, hope and celebration. Today I wanted to remind you that you are a champion, even if you forget. Pass it on.
We each have our own unique relationship with and definition of play. What is made possible when we expand our definitions of the situations, places and, spaces we give ourselves permission to play? I encourage you to give yourself gentleness and compassion and permission to be closed to playful energy when it doesn't feel appropriate or possible for you. If and when you do feel a sense of glee, how might you honor or say "yes" to allowing that natural instinct to emerge? When you notice a sense of glee in others, how might you honor or say "yes" to encouraging that natural instinct to emerge?
Particularly during intense or challenging times, play can be the first thing to go. Giving ourselves permission to play is critical to living and thriving. It might feel hard or invalidating to the pain of life to play. When there is heaviness in our world it is even more important to play and connect and to fill up our cup and our hearts with joy. How and when might you give yourself permission to play with others? Sending love to you today.
References in this episode:
Chalres "Chuck" Sams III, a member of the Confederated Tribes of the Umatilla Reservation, is the first Native American to lead the National Parks Service as its Director.
David Treuer is an Ojibwe author and historian. I reference his latest book "The Heartbeat of Wounded Knee," in this episode.
Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi's research on Play and Flow. The book I reference in this episode is "flow," and the chart I discuss you can find versions of if you search his name and "flow chart."
We are all developed or experienced in some areas and not others. No one has this thing all figured out or dialed in. No one is perfect. I was surprised to realize that the basic household task I did today.. it was my first time doing it! What is an area you would like to learn about, discover or develop? Let's give ourselves permission to be beginners, we need to start somewhere.
During these wild, new and changing times, there are likely several adulting things that have fallen through the cracks in your life. Let's give ourself compassion! When you are prepared, pay on time, and take the clothes out of the washer before they have stayed in there too long and you need to rewash them.. give yourself a pat on the back, that's a win babay!
What does it look like to loosen our grip, just a little bit? During the eclipse season, how might we create a tiny bit of space to see more of the truth of ourselves? Think of the tiniest version of "leap and the net will appear"
Listen for your own information. Your information can arrive in many forms, including your emotions. In what environments, relationships do you feel energized? Inspired? Excited? Interested? Curious? Comfortable? Enthusiastic? Take some notes.
We have so much information coming in to our systems constantly that we can easily feel overloaded and overwhelmed. Today I took a few hours to have an adventure, and took it one step at a time. Sometimes our minds and hearts need some time to rinse, reset, and refresh, mine certainly does.
Today is my Californaversary and I share a bit about my move, and also today thinking about a medical issue I have been dealing with. It is a bit of a mixtape! One message from today: listen to your body and advocate for your health. Sending you love today!
I'm not as outgoing or extroverted as I thought I was. Now I have an appreciation for why I turned the volume up on some of those personality traits. Let's give ourselves compassion for the ways we have adapted. Can we create space to get curious and listen to our hearts and bodies for how we really feel and who we really are?
It is my first day back meeting with clients in person. And I am nervous. I always get nervous and excited before meeting with clients. Every. Single. Time. What is new for you? What are you feeling nervous about? How can you give yourself gentleness and understanding today?
Welcome to NO-vember, an invitation to practicing saying "no," in order to say a bigger "yes," to something else in your life! What do you want to practice saying "no," to? Where and when can you give yourself compassion?
Are you a storyteller? Maybe you don't tell stories formally, yet I believe you tell stories all. the. time. Intentional storytelling is a powerful way to leverage an existing structure in our brains to bring our lives into alignment with our values, our truth and our dreams. One story at a time.
Perfectionism creeped in and I didn't do as many episodes. A friend asked me about the podcast and helped me reconnect to the purpose of this show. This is my process. How do you experience perfectionism? How might you give yourself compassion and grace?
What do you like that isn't considered cool? Why not consider giving yourself permission to explore or express yourself in creative new ways that you are excited about? Creating safe spaces for ourselves and others to creatively express is critical to a deep sense of well-being and vitality.
I believe that simplifying our lives is quite wise. What area of your life feels overly complicated? What can you cut out, minimize, or delegate? How much more fulfillment and energy could you have as a result?
Sometimes we say "no" to inspirations and ideas about our life/career/relationships quickly because they seem "unreasonable." What might our life look like if we nurtured those budding ideas and explored what they grow up to be? Could we get curious and stay in divergent thinking a little longer? What gifts might emerge as a result?
We often associate empathy only with connecting in understanding of others' sadness or grief. When we give empathy to someone for the positive emotions in their life, that is called empathetic joy! Who do you know who is experiencing something wonderful in their life? How might you hop on board to celebrate their love, joy, and happiness? Building our capacity for empathetic joy is a beautiful gift to give our loved ones, neighbors and friends, and it isn't solely generosity. It fills up our hearts as well. Celebrating you and your joy today and all days!
In a culture of constant pressure towards growth and achievement, how might you create space for rest and nurturing? Our nature is to expand and contract. Is now the time to push yourself out of your comfort zone? What if you rested and enjoyed the fruits of your growth so far?
When we first meet someone we learn their name. Our names are often deeply tied to our identities. Honoring one another's names by learning, remembering, correctly pronouncing, and using one another's names is an important and powerful way to demonstrate humanity and care for one another.
When you look at your work or performance do you zoom in on the negatives? Perfectionism babay! Here are three questions that can help you zoom out to celebrate the big picture what you learned, what you appreciated and where you want to grow instead of going down the spiral of shame and self-criticism.
This weekend I was flooded with memories from this time of year throughout my whole life. Some of those memories are hard and some comforting. What are you allowing to comfort you these days? How might you celebrate the comfort of memories? How are you allowing yourself to grow? Right now do you need a little nudge towards comfort or a little nudge towards growth?
What does it look like to create our life from our heart and our values? What do you value? How do you connect your deepest values to how you spend your time every day?
I did something new today that I hadn't done in many years professionally. I was nervous! When are you out of your comfort zone? How do you relate to nervousness? I reflect on a time I was out of my comfort zone, nervous and afraid, climbing down Half Dome, and how (and who) helped me get through it.
What frameworks or approaches do you use to make decisions? What do you do when something seems great on paper and doesn't feel right? Learning to listen to our own information, from our body, gut, heart and soul, can be scary and uncomfortable. Ultimately to create lives of expansion, fulfillment, connection and alignment, I believe we need to allow our information to guide us through the dark, one .. step.. at.. a.. time.
How might you delight someone today by giving them something? How might you allow yourself to receive without trying to control? Thoughts on giving and receiving and some cringe-worthy anecdotes along the way. Be gentle with yourself.
There are only certain times and places where it is "socially acceptable" to sing, dance, laugh, wiggle, and move. How might you create more space, validation, or ritual for more joy and celebration in your life? How might practicing this transform your life and the lives of those around you?
I encourage you to explore your relationship to your truth and your inner voice, with curiosity, patience and compassion.
(contains reference to sexual assault) Erin Lee Carr delivers yet another powerful documentary, Britney vs Spears (Netflix). It made me reflect on the long history of women (10,000 years?), queer and BIPOC folks experience of gaslighting, subjugation, invalidation and violence, often justified by being categorized as "crazy," by white cis-gendered men in power, and those who seek their favor.
The real deal about my experience with severe PMS, known as PMDD. Our biochemistry is powerful. Let's learn more about it and find deeper levels of understanding and compassion for ourselves and one another.
Timeless wisdom from the inimitable dancer/choreographer Martha Graham, via my sister Katie of www.thesolomamaproject.com.
To practice remaining calm in the midst of change and uncertainty, practice, practice, practice. Boost your confidence by practicing the key sentences you want to say in an important meeting or conversation. Create a contingency plan for what you will do if/when your presentation slides don't work (fill in any mishap you can anticipate). Rehearse the stories you want to share in an interview. Build confidence through preparation. Speak from the heart. Remember to honor the wisdom of your experience. Finally, if you like basketball you may like this:)
Welcome to the beginning of fall (or spring!). As the seasons change, what change are you experiencing? How might you explore your aspirations? If you are making a decision between two choices, what might be a third option? Create space. Give yourself compassion. We don't know what we are capable of until we know.
What might it look like to give yourself more self-compassion? You have done your best with the information you had at the time. Let's acknowledge our experience, take responsibility, and give ourself as much understanding and compassion as possible. Of course we need to have boundaries and hold ourselves and each other accountable. Being a human is not easy, let's give ourselves (and each other) as much compassion as possible.
When I was a kid I wished I wasn't gay. Now I am an adult, out and proud, and married to a woman, the love of my life. My path to acceptance was a winding path. I am grateful to LGBTQIA people who celebrate who they are. Your self-love changes people. You have changed me. Shining your light makes my heart burst with joy and love. Thank you!
(this episode includes profanity and description of violence)
As we say goodbye to one of the dog members of my extended family, I reflect on my love for her, the dogs in my life and the power of those relationships. Thank you for the unconditional love, connection, play, and empathy. Our pets are our family. Let's honor our grief.
After a day in the woods and by the ocean, I am reflecting on my appreciation for the power of being connected to nature. Remember we are interconnected, part of team Earth.
Resources:
The Four Sacred Gifts: Indigenous Wisdom for Modern Times, by Anita Sanchez
The Social Life of Forests, The New York Times
Repairing the Past: Returning Native Land, Be Antiracist with Ibram X. Kendi Podcast
On Friday when your boss says, "I put some time for us to meet on your calendar on Monday, there's something I want to talk to you about" ... cue the anxiety! Instead of just looking for and bringing up what is wrong or broken, let's also celebrate, honor and validate one another, for being here, for doing the work, for showing up, and for who we are. You are amazing.
When you feel good why not enjoy it instead of trying to figure it out? Bask in it and follow it. I believe it will help you meet your future yearning to emerge. This is a story of the one test I enjoyed taking, and wow did I love it. Feel the joy for the joy, not for the result, because even with a "bad" result it still may take you somewhere magical.
How do we approach a life/career without a map? What gifts emerge when we experiment? What is made possible when you follow your gut/intuition? How can you slow down and listen to what is yearning to emerge?
When we honor and listen to our feelings as a natural part of our human experience, we create space to learn about ourselves, to process our feelings, and to begin to hear what we need. #ifs #richardschwartz #nobadparts
In the midst of the Great Resignation, when 48% of people (Gallup) are looking to leave their jobs, many managers and leaders are talking about "Work-life balance" as one of the problems. What is true for you? What are the factors that influence your work-life balance? Are you sharing responsibility for these factors? What do you yearn for in your work and life?
Can you show yourself encouragement and compassion while learning something new? Learning something new can be scary and vulnerable. If you can, ask for help. We all can use as much positivity and encouragement as we can get. You've got this. Keep going.
Thoughts today: Can we slow down for a beat and listen to our hearts and hold the pain? Breathe. Be gentle. The way out is through.